#always a scary thing to think about!
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The angsty boys really out here learning and growing, huh?
Do you think a character can be more emotionally mature than their author? As an author of many years, have you identified any blind spots in your characterization and therefore been able to learn and grow personally through said realizations?
P.S. The past few excerpts have been so soft I just want to print them out, shred them up, and use them to stuff a stuffed animal so that I can squeeeeeeze them. Ugh, I can’t even stand it 💛
Do you think a character can be more emotionally mature than their author?
Oh absolutely.
I would even go so far as to say this is actually more common than the opposite.
Authors are good at writing what they've never had any experience in. This includes writing characters funnier than they are, smarter than they are, dumber, cooler, more emotionally mature, more immature than they are. It's not just about writing settings they've never been in, jobs they've never had, life experiences they've never gone through, on every level you just can't know if something reflects the author's experience in that thing, including their maturity.
I've had readers assume all kinds of things about me based on my writing, and I'd say a good chunk of it isn't true! (Though I'll always feel touched by the military person who assumed I had military experience because I wrote it like someone who had lived it - I don't have military experience, I have a good imagination. That's my job).
As an author of many years, have you identified any blind spots in your characterization and therefore been able to learn and grow personally through said realizations?
Yes and no.
Fiction makes things a lot easier than they are in reality. The fact is a lot of PTSD takes years and years to recover from. Most of my stories are over in 6-12 months (within the timeline of the actual narrative itself.) Fictionalised healing narratives give characters happier endings, faster. It distills something of the human experience for people, and gives us all a road map, but it's not always a very realistic one, or it is, but only in some ways and not others.
Like, I have definitely learned things from my characters, but there's also been things I haven't been able to apply to myself. Writing the character isn't 'doing the work' for example. Knowing that communicating hard things is important doesn't actually make doing it any easier. Seeing lots of examples of characters surviving the process doesn't always make it possible to feel like you're going to survive the process.
It's why when people tell me 'this story made me realise I needed to see a therapist for my own issues, I'm doing so much better now, thank you for helping me do this' I have the urge to say 'thank you' but also a massive urge to tell someone that like, they were the ones who made themselves do it, who found the strength/courage, who self-reflected, who were ready or had a 'right place right time' experience to go on that journey. And some of those people are far more healthier mentally now than I am. I've actually watched like real people read some stories, have some realisations, and now achieve things in their life I still struggle to.
My job is to be good at imagining things and conveying them, but that doesn't mean I - or any other author - picks up the skills or emotional maturity or even knowledge that we write down! It would be great if it worked that way.
Anyway TL;DR it is possible to grow through writing (and reading) characters, but it's also possible to just write stuff and not actually change / grow from it (at least not in a way that's immediately noticeable).
As for blind spots in my own personal character, I'm constantly confronted by them. I have a lot of flaws as a human being!
#asks and answers#personal#pia on writing#i'm sure there's even more blind spots than i can ever be aware of#that's why they're blind spots#always a scary thing to think about!#administrator gwyn wants this in the queue
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I'm rewatching GF since the whole world seems to be into it right now (thank you Alex and the Book of Bill) and AGHHH I FORGOR about the body swap episode when the twins find the secret room and Stan picks up Ford's glasses and later we see him sitting on the couch looking at them wistfully...
Shut up shut UP that's NOT okay
#IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT ALWAYS GET ME.#The tiny little hints throughout the series about Ford#Stan holding his glasses BREAKS me tho. Idk why. It just hurts 😭#Gravity Falls#Stan Pines#Stanley Pines#Also thinking about how Stan used that same room right after Ford disappeared through the portal#Man..........man. MAN. 😔#I can't WAIT to see mullet Stan tbh. He's just the right amount of pathetic and sopping wet. You know?? LOL#My poor little meow meow. I love him so much. LisTEN#Also I watched Scary-oke last night and ONE OF MY FAVORITE EPISODES PERIOD!!!!#It's so good. Pines family bonding? Bragging over beating Gideon? STAN BEATING A BUNCH OF ZOMBIES#AND LOOKING REALLY HUNKY WHEN HE DOES AND WHEN HE BRINGS OUT THE BRASS KNUCKLES#SHEEEEEEESH!!!#I'm normal about him okay. I promise. I swe#Shima speaks
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I love Luke who is beloved by his students, but I also, at the exact same time, love Luke who is feared by his students.
Master Skywalker whose reputation precedes him. The galaxy as a whole believes that he killed Darth Vader and the Emperor both. The tales say he faced them both, entirely alone, and then got out unscathed.
Master Skywalker who floats through the halls, appearing like a specter, invisible to all but the most proficient at finding Force signatures. He speaks to Jedi of old and meditates unmovingly for hours and his stare pierces through to the soul of whoever receives it.
Sometimes, Master Skywalker vanishes into thin air without a trace. His students either find themselves faced with Leia Organa, a fearful person in her own right, an older student, or some random, wandering Jedi that rumours have claimed to be long dead. Master Skywalker vanishes and reappears without explanation, only offering a smile when asked where he was, his responses always vague.
Master Skywalker who is always fully covered, only one hand remaining bare. Nobody has ever seen him look disheveled. Nobody has ever been able to catch him unaware. Whenever anybody knocks on his door, no matter what time it is, he is always sitting in pristine robes, ready to scare off any troubles that find his students.
Just. Master Skywalker who once faced a black hole and won. Master Skywalker who killed a rancor. Master Skywalker who blew up the first Death Star. The most terrifying man in the galaxy, and he’s only more mysterious the more time one spends around him.
The comedic potential of this scenario is unparalled.
#the inane ramblings of a madman#star wars#luke skywalker#i think luke deserves to be scary#i imagine him always knowing exactly where everyone is#someone’s like: we lost a padawan D:#luke: they’re hiding in the rafters three buildings over#i want him to be scary#it’s my fave thing about him
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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#the prison dimension is horrifying on its own#add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is#Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there#it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo#personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension#so it’s a prison in all ways#but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really#because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile#nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him#and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual#one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that#should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination#I’m unwell about this family#actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities#but to their relationship to family and love in general#kinda like love languages in a way#Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe#Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind#Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible#and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway#like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home#even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there#and that’s enough
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Yooooooo, you write fan fictions, don't you? Halloween is, like, right over there *points*. would you be willing to do one of mhin taking sparrow ghost hunting? and maybe even having a "guest appearance" of a certain shadow manipulator?
if this has already been done, could you point me in the right direction?
thank you~
I've never seen a fic like that but omg. This is such a brilliant idea, I love how all the pieces come together so perfectly–Vere being said to be responsible for his fair share of local ghost stories, mentions of Mhin and haunted houses in the Uquiz results… Premium thoughts. I had a lot of fun writing this, ty for giving me the prompt!! :>
It took a couple of extra days but it's also longer (~2900 words) so hopefully that makes up for it. p.s sorry if u meant it to be more gen bc I wrote romantic pining lol Volume Warning! Ambiance (~BEAUTIFUL FOX NOISES) for y'all /j
Cold Spots
You pull your cloak tighter around yourself, sheltering your remaining body heat from the howling wind.
You ignore the shiver that creeps down your spine.
You’ve been warned that the night is chilly in Eridia at this time of year, but you haven’t quite scraped together enough coin to afford more layers. So you huddle closer to the swaying lamplight of the Wet Wick, attempting to leech warmth from the cheery (if occasionally overwhelming) atmosphere of the bar. You’re on edge, wary about straying too far from the Wick’s affable open doors and the balmy light spilling out of them.
You crane your neck to peer as far as you can around the corner without moving, eyeing the myriad of nearby alleyways, all full to the brim with shadows, searching for a familiar splash of moonlight and blue sweeping through the night.
That’s when you feel eyes on your back.
You freeze, all of your senses on high alert.
“You’re where I asked you to be.” Mhin says in lieu of a greeting. You startle, reeling around to face them. Even when you're expecting them, they have the uncanny ability of sneaking up on you.
“You say that like you’re surprised.” You chide, in mock affront. “You’ll notice that I’m also on time.” Your giddiness shows on your face, a smile tugging at your lips.
“Don’t act so pleased with yourself,” they snipe while rolling their eyes, “for anyone else, that’s the bare minimum.” They frown, looking you up and down with their arms tightly crossed. “...Is that what you’re wearing?”
Any further quips you have for them die in your mouth, drowned out by nervous chuckling. You realize they must be asking (in their own way) if you’re not going to get too cold. You know you could just ask Leander or Kuras for some seasonally appropriate attire but you’d rather not rely on further charity if you can’t help it. Hence: “I’m, um, warm blooded?” You mean to inject an appropriate amount of bravado into your voice, but it comes out as more of a question.
Mhin sighs, long eyelashes brushing their cheeks as they close their eyes for one long moment. “Sometimes I wonder… Fine. Let’s just get going.”
The floorboards shriek beneath your feet as you step across the threshold. The entire shack seems to groan and sway, protesting audibly against the wind. You stick close to Mhin’s back as they hold their gas lamp up, casting an eerie glow about the interior of the abandoned building. Their keen eyes do a quick sweep before they nod decisively and usher you inside with a single precise motion.
The bellow of the wind sounds almost like a scream as the door shuts behind you.
“So, what are we looking for, exactly?” Your voice comes out hushed, the haunting atmosphere insisting that you behave accordingly.
“Likely nothing.” Mhin responds. “Actual ghost sightings are very rare. And of those, few recorded instances come from trustworthy sources. People in Eridia can be quite superstitious. Count on rats or other pests. It’s more plausible that this is a mere infestation rather than–”
The roof above your heads gives a long, low creeaaaak.
You both pause for a beat, listening to silence.
“How would we know if it's a real ghost?” You ask, more out of curiosity than anything. You’re not about to waste the opportunity, if Mhin is willing to keep talking.
“Depends on the type of ghost.” Another protest from the floorboards as Mhin wanders further into the dark. Since you don’t have a lantern of your own, you have no choice but to follow close behind. Unless you want to stumble around with nothing but the shatters of dusty moonlight cast through the cracked windows to guide your way.
Mhin and you make a quick round of the small building, finding it mostly empty, only a few pieces of broken furniture left behind. You draw closer to the back wall, carefully avoiding moth-eaten curtains, heeding Mhin’s warning about a small step. Based on the layout, you think this place might have been a bar or entertainment hall of some sort. You imagine it had a nice, cozy parlor at one time, though now it’s fallen into squalor. As Mhin examines the walls for signs of pests and other clues, you examine the graffiti strewn across them: crude jokes and lewd drawings, mostly. Some scattered names, belonging to people and gangs you’ve never heard of before.
Framed in the center, though, there's a huge riot of colorful paint. An abstract painting with no proper canvas. It's beautiful, somehow, though hauntingly morose. The artist has contained their work in a neat square, not a single streak of color escaping the precisely imposed prison. You’re not sure what the intent of the artist was choosing somewhere like this to display it…
“Is there a type of ghost that makes artwork?” You wonder aloud. You almost wish that Mhin would hand you the lantern so you can get a better look.
Mhin clicks their tongue, sparing barely a glance toward the makeshift painting. “I wouldn't define that as art.” Mhin follows the line of the wall to the corner, their lantern held up to the wall. “That’s just…paint. If you’re looking for ghosts, try looking for scratch marks. Those are a possible indicator, though not always a reliable one. A sudden feeling of hot, or cold–any otherwise unexplainable temperature change. A strange odor…”
You give the air a sniff. “...I don’t smell anything. Do you?”
“Dust. Rotting wood. And you’ve stopped using Leander’s bath soaps, which I’ll commend you for. Why anybody would want to smell that strongly of–” Mhin stops and gives a short whiff, their mouth slightly parted. Their brows furrow. “It is unusual…I don't see or smell any signs of rats or roaches. No vultures either…”
“Maybe something else scared them away?” You posit. You shuffle closer to Mhin, not liking the way the shadows around you seem to flow and ebb the longer you look at them, your mind making up shapes. There’s a silly part of you that wants to feel Mhin’s cloak between your bandaged fingers as reassurance that they’ll stay close. They’d probably hate to know that you see them as something to cling to–a source of comfort, safety.
You try to take another step closer to further dampen your trepidation, but instead you trip over– something–and stumble directly into Mhin. They catch you on impulse, strong and quick enough to steady you with one arm while holding the lantern with the other. You breathe an apology, your lips bumping against their chin as they help you get your feet back under you.
You both search the ground to determine what knocked you off your balance.
It's a dirty old rug, rucked up at one edge.
A long line of what appears to be claw marks lies half uncovered below it. Mhin kneels beside the marks, studying them intently, carefully moving the rug to reveal yet more splintered wood. “I’m not sure what could have done this,” they admit. “The marks are fresh, but none of the dust was disrupted…”
The floorboards groan another protest, though it bounds off the walls in strange ways, making it difficult to pinpoint exactly where the sound originated.
“Aural contortions.” Mhin announces. “And a feeling that you’re being watched. Reflective surfaces will behave oddly as well. Hold this.” Mhin hands you the lantern (more: shoves it into your grasp, really) reaching into their satchel. Their nimble hands pull out a handful of alchemical concoctions, one which shines like the inside of a seashell, a tiny silver locket, which they flick open to reveal a small mirror. There’s symbols etched into it, so old and worn away you can’t make them out.
You draw the lantern closer at their behest, illuminating a small smile spread across their face.
Is Mhin …Having fun?
“Is there anything I can do to help?” You ask, hoping they don’t notice the warmth in your voice. Getting scolded would kind of ruin the mood.
Mhin glances up, blinking at you like they almost forgot you were there. Their tongue peeks out, wetting their lips as they consider. “Yes,” they finally agree, “would you–”
The lamplight is smothered by an unknown force.
The cracked streams of light from the window are gone, leaving you in darkness.
Mhin swears, their voice distorting as if they are suddenly very far away. A moment ago they were crouched beside you, but the shadows surrounding you are so inky you can’t make out their silhouette at all. Instinctively, you reach your hands out in front of you before freezing and reluctantly forcing them back down. If both you and Mhin end up stumbling around with hands outstretched, there’s a possibility that they might accidentally grasp onto you and disrupt your bandages. (You wish you had given into your desire to hold onto them earlier.)
You whisper their name, frantic, hoping they can hear you.
“I’m here,” Mhin assures you, their voice pitched low and cautious. You feel the gentle press of a foot against yours, a light tap of reassurance against the side of your sole. “Stay close.” There’s a brush of fingertips against your back. “If the entity is particularly powerful, it will be able to move objects,” Mhin cautions, “but a ghost should never be capable of causing harm to humans directly. And there’s not much in here that it could throw. Just stay calm. If you don’t keep your emotions in check, it will only be more incensed.”
Light flashes through the room again in a spotlight, guiding your gaze to a particular area of the building.
The abstract mural is defaced, dripping black liquid splattered boldly across the wall like arterial spray. You retreat a step, feeling something wet beneath your feet. There’s a sharp, astringent tang in the air. Musty and earthy-floral. Old velvet and leather, parchment and fresh paint.
You realize, with a sinking feeling of cold terror, that the black ichor on the wall spells your name.
Eyes on you.
Touch like a gossamer spider web. Brushing against the nape of your neck.
“Mhin,” you whisper urgently. “Something just–”
The cold hits you then. Bone deep and all consuming. Judging by the way Mhin swears, they must feel it too. Whatever this unknown entity is, it’s close. And it wants…
Shadow flickers, fingers reaching for you, claws grasping, white glint of teeth.
Mhin sneers audibly, reaching for you and reeling you in by your cloak just before the figure can snatch you up. Their arm wraps around you, guiding you with them as they recede. They sweep their stiletto in a wide arc and you hear the clang of metal on metal, though you have no idea what it was that Mhin hit. Their night vision must be immaculate–you can hardly see more than the fresh glint of their stiletto blade.
“Turns out it is a vermin infestation.”
A bark of laughter.
Very familiar laughter.
The door starts to rattle on its hinges, moving to the rhythm of Vere's glee. Mhin walks over to it, dragging your shaking body with them. With a definitive kick from Mhin and a final cackle from Vere, the door bursts open.
Mhin tugs you out into the open air and slams it behind them.
“Awful fur-bag.” Mhin spits the words out like the mere thought of Vere leaves a bad taste in their mouth.
You’re far enough away that the black paint clinging to both of your shoes is no longer leaving footprints, but you can’t say the same about the bone deep cold.
You’re shivering so hard your teeth start to chatter, adrenaline magnifying the chill in your bones. How did Vere even do that? You rub your arms and nearly stumble into Mhin in the process. Their features twist into a half-formed scowl, eyes sweeping you before softening into something more delicate.
You find yourself staring into eyes that seem to catch the moonlight, words caught in your throat.
“You’re freezing.” Mhin murmurs, resting a hand against the curve of your cheek, testing your temperature.
You’re surprised at the contact. Mhin is always so careful about touching you–it’s something you appreciate, usually, this unspoken agreement between the two of you; Mhin doesn’t ask intrusive questions, just makes silent hypotheses and treats your personal space with care. You appreciate it–usually–but sometimes, (constantly), you wish…
Mhin’s thumb pets against your jaw. They glace away from you as they do, unable to hold your gaze, but they don’t remove their hand, even as the moment hangs heavy in the air. Their hand is soft, you think, fingertips like silk, though you can feel the thick calluses built up at the meat of their palm. Likely hard won and harder lost, trophies from their time as a freelancer and whatever secret misfortune befell them what led them to Eridia. Unthinking, you nuzzle into their touch, luxuriating in the coveted feeling of skin on skin. You have half a mind to turn your head, press your lips against their calluses, kiss them like you’re drawing poison from a wound.
Mhin catches your chin between their thumb and pointer finger. Their grip is assertive, certain. You’d worry that you’ve angered them somehow, but the intensity of their gaze, the subtle tilt of their head, the flush of their cheeks, the featherlight caress of their breath on your lips…
–You think they might–
They back away abruptly in one smooth stride. Their hands work quickly at the intricate clasp on their cloak. Oh, now they’re really looking away.
“Wear this while we head back. You didn’t come to this city to die of cold.”
They look at their bracers pointedly as you hesitate, as if itching to adjust them. You slowly reach out and put the garment on.
The trek back to the Wick is uneventful. The occasional star glances out from the pall of clouds constantly lingering in the Eridian sky. You look for the waning moon, finding its reticent light and following it home. You return Mhin’s cloak at the door, careful to hold it in a way that allows them to take it without having to touch you – touch your bandages.
Mhin looks, oddly, a little reluctant to see it returned. You’re not sure how else you can possibly read their body language. Their hunched shoulders, the downturn of their mouth, their uncharacteristic lingering. Holding the cloak in their hands like they can’t quite decide what to think of it.
They let out a sharp breath.
Mhin levels you with a pointed glare as they settle their mantle across their shoulders, affixing the clasp without need to look down. “Buy some warmer clothes.” they order, “Tell Leander that the contract is complete and the buyer’s ‘ghost problem’ is solved. The building should be fine for renovations, just tell them to start their renewal project on a day when the Senobium is actually holding Vere’s leash.”
“You’ll come back for your cut tomorrow…?” Confusion rolls off your lips.
“No.” Mhin crosses their arms again. “I just told you to buy some warmer clothes, didn’t I? Consider it hazard pay.” Again, that disgusted tone Mhin reserves for Vere. “Even with that taken into consideration, you’ll still owe me, though. Don’t forget. I’ll collect some day; everyone does in this city.”
You’re not sure what to say. Mhin is insisting that this is just a loan, and you believe that wholeheartedly. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t charity. Mhin’s also offering you transparency–an open disclosure of the deal you’re agreeing to. You take their cut, buy what you need, and resolve to pay it back when you can. And if Mhin needs something similar in the future, you’ll return them in kind.
You think you stumble over your words a little, but you agree to their offer.
“I’ll be back to collect another contract. Hopefully something that’s not a waste of my time.”
And a promise to come back is a promise to see you again, isn’t it? To include you in their life? Is that what you’re supposed to take from this? That Mhin cares for you, even if they won’t–
Or is it your foolish heart, showing you a path that isn’t really there?
“Goodnight, Mhin.” You say the words, but their back is already turned, steps already taken.
✦ EXTENDED ENDING...? ✦
You putter around in your room at the Wet Wick as you go about your nightly routine. The occasional cheer or thud from below only accentuates your nervous energy, punctuating your reluctance to settle down and get into bed. You smooth the covers with your bandaged hands and fluff the pillow before extinguishing the lamplight. You tug the bedding up above your shoulders, fighting to get comfortable. As your eyelids finally start to droop, the flicker of a shadow catches your attention. It dances and sways and bends and grows until suddenly it is right in front of you. On top of you. Silken, blood red drips down onto your face, a knife gleam smile too close for comfort. You breathe in a gasp, wondering if you should scream. “Vere, what–” “Shhh,” he coos, pressing a finger lightly to your lips. His breath is hot against your skin. “I only came to keep you warm, pet.”
✦Heat Signature (Vere Continuation) ->
#Mhin is an ABSTRACT ART HATER that is my headcanon looll#WHEEEE HAPPY SCARY SEASON!! I HOPE U LIKED I HOPE U HAD FUN#you get to choose if sparrow screams and vere lols and says peace out i’ve had my fun orrrr#it’s an open ending :)#Wow Vere u ruined date night#ummm Sparrow Mhin is not only careful about touching you for your own benefit#Mhin is also. White knuckling their self control.#If they let themself touch even a little…they might just want to touch a lot#this whole thing is just: how many tropes can I pack into here?#ya’ll think ghosts are real in TS universe??#wouldn’t that be interesting… >:3#ALSO THE EXTENDED ENDING IS ME PLAYING WITH THAT HORROR MOVIE TROPE WHERE THE CREATURE ETC ALWAYS COMES BACK AT THE END#Mhin x reader#surprise! vere x reader - just a smidge??#Touchstarved Game#Touchstarved game fanfic#mhin touchstarved#toxintouch: {pick} prompt {your poison}#that’s a stupid long tag but i think it’s funny tbh so i’m#toxintouch writing
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someone over the age of 30 tell me it’s gonna be ok
#im turning thirty at the beginning of next year and trying not to have a meltdown about it 😭#I’ve actually been having one continuous meltdown about it since I turned 25#WHY IS IT SO SCARY!! WHY AM I LIKE THIS!#being 30 is literally such a normal thing to be 😭#and I keep thinking I’ve gotten over it (I have done a lot of mental preparation this year) but then I still get overcome by Panic!!!#and my birthday isn’t even for months#help👯♀️ sos😍#who in my fandoms is over 30 🥺🥺 guys hold my hand I’m being a baby about being old#as usual#i was supposed to have my life figured out by now but I have even less figured out than I did when I was like 22 I think .#how did I go BACKWARDS#I want to be a good example for the 20-somethings and tell them it’s all fine but I’m always freaking out so .#gonna need the 30-somethings to step in and be a good example for ME#I am soon to be one of you so if you would be so kind as to extend a gracious welcome and ignore my sobbing. thank u#wise beautiful powerful 30-somethings. thank you#mine
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billie eilish and finneas - interview with zane lowe - may 21, 2024
finneas embarrassing billie ✅ it's not literal 😤😏✅ making points about the parasocial song interpretation trend ✅
Billie: We live in a world of like, somebody puts a song out and everyone is like, "So, this is who this is about and this is the entire story of what happened," and it doesn't even give the listener a chance to interpret it how they want to interpret it and how they naturally hear it.
part 2 for how this album was scary and honest
#billie eilish#finneas#mygifs#hit me hard and soft#zane lowe#musician interview#lunch#wlw#billie eilish lunch#finneas o'connell#parasocial relationships#billie and finneas#i love listening to them talk about their process and music and this is a really lovely interview. 10/10 would recommend#and they talked about trying to really dig into Billie's feelings and truth and approaching what is scary#but as listeners it's not about us trying to pick through for clues to her personal story but how does it make us feel about our lives#which not that long ago there was commonly a lot more separation of the artists' personal lives and their art but things are so different#i choose to remain blissfully unaware of my fave musicians personal business which i think is for the best for me personally#I've followed some actors more closely and it's almost always a recipe for disappointment (again for me personally)#billiegifs#billiefinneasgifs
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if this post gets like…5000 notes I’ll actually start writing scripts/making storyboards for videos I’ve had ideas about for months
additionally if this gets to 10000 (which I highly doubt it will) I’ll actually work on my abandoned stories, book ideas, and poetry
#Watch me not post this ever /j#Idk I’m loosing motivation and I may be but a humble student rn with no ability to make these videos real atm#But scripts and story boards are a start right?#If anyone cares I have a snippet for CJ’s You sound like Louis Burdett that I really want to do (3:09 - 4:20 roughly..)#And the entirety of Oblivion by grimes has been just sitting there…I wanna do it grrgggrrr#S.K thinks#If you’re reading this I finally grew a pair and decided I don’t want to be stuck anymore#Might schedule this for when I’m at practice so instead of thinking about how posting it is SCARY !!! I am sweating and dying !!!#Idk it feels wrong to post this when I’ve repeatedly given up very easily on my creative career as a whole multiple times#But I always end up NOT doing that so k have a bit of hope that if I get a bunch of people’s support and trust to get back on my feet again#That this time it’ll be different and I’ll stick to it. Even if I think it sucks. It’s my first time doing any of these things seriously#It’s not meant to be perfect…and plus if even one person likes it it’ll have been worth it
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that's just a random thought that has popped in my head while trying to fall asleep, but... thinking about how tenma siblings' childhood and middle school days were filled with the fear of uncertainty of the next day, but they both probably experienced it so differently...
saki's fear of uncertainty was connected to a fear of the night — but she wasn't afraid of nightmares, of the dark or anything like that. it was not what's waiting on the other side of the dark room what was scary to her, it was what was going to happen to her that was truly frightening her so much. her days, in middle school especially, were always the same and repetitive, so she did not have to be scared of the well-known routine. but as soon as the night was coming, as soon as she had to close her eyes, she could feel this unpleasant, cold feeling creeping onto her weak body, she could hear this scary voice sound in the back of her head: what if she doesn't wake up tomorrow? what if this night is her last? how can she rest easy, when tomorrow is so uncertain?
tsukasa's fear of uncertainty was connected to a fear of the morning — he was the privileged one, after all. nights weren't scary for him, because he didn't have to be afraid of not waking up and wasting his youth forever. the night coming was just a sign of another day coming to an end and that was a good thing, because tomorrow surely will be better, right? the morning, however, was a bridge that was connecting the night with the next day; it was these few simple moments after he regains his consciousness that were going to determine this day, and he was afraid of them, he could feel this in his whole body, he could hear it deep down in his mind: is saki going to be okay today, will his family finally be happy at least for these few hours? are the things going to spiral down and will everything be even worse than it already is? will saki smile, or will saki cry once again? how can he feel rested, when today is so uncertain?
but now, they don't have to be afraid anymore. the uncertainty isn't as bad anymore.
because the night means that another wonderful day has come to an end, and the morning means that today will surely be a hopeful day full of smiles.
and they're both aware of it.
#i don't think that's meant to be a canon thought that's more of a headcanon. i think?#i'm not sure. it's 1am. i just have to get it out of my system or else i won't fall asleep.#posting tenma siblings thoughts here is scary because i always feel like i'm gonna mischaracterize them despite loving them so much#but whatever!!! fuck it we ball!!!!#project sekai#prsk#pjsk#ri says things the tag#saki tenma#leo/need#tsukasa tenma#wonderlands x showtime#tenma siblings#rip toya i'm not into vivibasu lore enough to have smart thoughts about you#prompted by my own fear of falling asleep so i hope i'll get to rest easy now amen
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Mother Merciless
She don't speak. You bloody bastards cut her throat too deep for that. But she remembers.
But her eyes were the most terrible thing. Her eyes saw him, and they hated.
It is a monstrous cruel thing to lose a child.
Lady stoneheart for (a super late) Halloween art trade with the amazing (and very patient as always) @acewithapencil, I picked the OG goth couple Brynden and Shiera, and she picked Lady stoneheart!
It was once again a pleasure to make art for you, and I gotta say I quite liked the result, so I decided to also do something small in watercolors and I know I'm not very well versed in it (this is literally my 7th piece ever in this medium) but I'm glad I did it, and most of all I'm glad I did it for you!!!
So anyways, I hope it looks nice and I really hope you like it!
#lady stoneheart#catelyn stark#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#valyrianscrolls#fanart#my art#Drawing lady stoneheart is always so fun#also I had to darken some areas digitally#my camera just refused to bright things up#also yay I managed to depict an atmospheric night scene#I was also supposed to do an additional piece but it did not work out#but that's coming too one day of these#once again I have to apologize for being late#but idk this year has been scary throughout all days of it#so every day is Halloween if you think about it
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Imagine we get to the Paranormal Orphans chapter (410) in the anime, and instead of a normal narrator like Midoriya or AFO, it's just- Present Mic.
*Present Mic*
DAMN MAMA-RAKI! YOU REALLY GAVE BIRTH TO THAT?!
If only he was swept away by the river at birth and drowned- COUGH!!!
#the concept was funnier in my head#present mic spites afo at every turn and pities yoichi#has no idea about ofa and midoriya he just thinks yoichi is a poor person to be this guys younger TWIN brother#mic: *checking the papers* wait theyre twins?#the scary resemblance of Kudo to a known student (bakugo) but this kudo guy looks much nicer than “FIRST PLACE IS NOTHING” “DIEEE”#the raging Bakugo the public always saw#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#yoichi shigaraki#afo#all for one#spoilers#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#almost forgot those had to be separate tags#present mic#hizashi yamada#i think that when we go to the past AFO should be the narrator#because then we get to see AFOs perspective twisting everything from what we actually see and later understand#that to fit everything into his Demon Lord persona everything must match the narrative#so he looks and things and changes it around to fit his being Demon Lord rather than a lonely man#“I loved my brother” ‐> “Hes my possession must keep alive” (quirk makes him want things he likes or is interested in)#(which influences how he shows love too. but it does say he was born an arrogant hubristic baby)#(so. is that afo talking or the facts)
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The last several months have been a vortex and i'm really struggling to keep up but at least there's the consequences to @zeebreezin 's actions on discord.
#t6fs#fl ocs#my art#idk my scoliosis is getting worse#and work is destabilizing in some stress-inducing ways#so ive been in a lot of physical pain#not to get too personal or anything#also been dealing w some plurality stuff. lapses in memory etc#my speech is getting progressively worse#its spooky and tough to think about#idk. its nice to have things to fall back on that are low stakes and fun#but its scary to think about the other stuff#solution? always to draw the scrimshander lookin goofy
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already seeing people saying the 4b movement is inherently problematic. we cannot refuse to engage in feminist theory because TERFs have been the most vocal about it, especially when trans women, and particularly trans women of color, are some of the MOST at-risk for gender-based violence. this is how we’ve gotten to people saying that lesbian is an inherently exclusionary identity. men on Twitter are laughing about the idea of taking away our healthcare and our the right to vote, it has literally never been more serious
#4b movement#i for one always think it’s a good thing for het women to think about the role of shitty men in their lives#and realize that they have ZERO obligation to become wives and mothers#feminism is not evil and not scary Please i am begging you to reconsider
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i see your post about leo being relieved that hes trans because he learned his stripes would go away and i raise you: leo, who spends his entire childhood in fear because donnie told him that he will lose his stripes when he is younger, only for them all to realize hes trans when they dont
Oh…Leo having so much value in his looks and especially his stripes because they’re what make him stand out the most, and in turn it helps solidify himself a role in the team as the “Face Man.” Sure, he absolutely thinks himself good looking with or without the stripes, but his stripes are striking and he knows it, and they mean more to him than just looks anyway. Knowing all this time that his stripes were going to fade and yet still taking on his title and still being as confident as he is - imagine he’d already come to the conclusion that his worth on the team, in his family, was always on a timer.
Then that timer goes away. And he’s left with relief and tells himself that hey, he’d have been just as cool looking without the stripes anyway! But…he’s glad to keep them. Even if his role isn’t quite just “Face Man” anymore, his stripes are a part of him.
And it’s been really scary to think that someday he’d look in the mirror and see a part of himself missing.
#non au ask#Leo values his looks and clearly loves his stripes#but I think as well his stripes make him specifically unique from his brothers#and it’s scary that one of the things he has to offer that’s uniquely him could vanish without his consent#so knowing he’s actually trans and his stripes won’t fade - that’s a relief!!#he’ll stay looking as he is - his stripes are a part of his identity after all#Leo is the only one of the brothers who has anything on his face with no mask#his red stripes absolutely make him stand out#and he likes that - he likes how eyes immediately go to his face#being perceived and acknowledged and just#getting attention - he doesn’t take it lightly#so without the stripes…I wonder if he’d be scared of fading into the background#his persona is already larger than life - would he fall into it harder just so he doesn’t disappear?#and how silly will he feel when it turns out all his worries didn’t matter - that his stripes were there to stay?#how silly would he feel if he’s still scared they’ll fade anyway?#actually this kinda brings me back to a thought I had#about how the turtle aspects of the boys are really interesting#but also potentially really difficult on them#because - yeah they’re turtles#but they’re also half human#so you have to wonder if they’re always comfortable in their own skin#or if sormtimes something that would be natural for a turtle feels WRONG
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Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent
Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people
#obviously it's always funny to do the whole 'what do u have there Damian?' 'a knife!' 'nO' thing#and like make him a horrendous and silly evil gremlin who can and will pull a sword out in the middle of a parking lot to fight#but listen#he doesn't like the assassin background that much and once he learns about like The Normal World he's honestly in anguish about it#that's canon! that's the truth! (right?) (the whole thing with Goliath?? I'm not making it up right???)#i think he's just the kind of guy who loves his swords because they're what he knows and they're a strong connection to his family#but I think it's nice if he spends his time on field telling others what to do because everyone else learned to fight the OTHER way#(by defending and subduing opponents rather than maiming and killing)#so he prefers to take on a tactician general role despite being perfectly capable as a fighter because he knows what everyone else needs#to do to succeed in fights - especially when things are a bit of a mess - but is afraid to be too rough or scary or violent or Demon Son-is#(the things that make him feel like he doesn't belong in a happy civilian world - WHICH IS WHAT HE WANTS IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.)#in this essay I will explain why this allows for him to show awe and love for each of his siblings' fight styles by utilising all of them#and I just think Dami Babs and Tim could really work together as a detective/tactician comms team (with varying distances from the field)#because I think that'd be so fun: Tim is solving (mid-range) Babs is watching/providing supports (far) and Damian is commanding (close)#because the others are like The Bruisers (in their non-lethal way) who trust themselves to only hurt as much as is needed and are good at i#PLUS babs is SO stretched thin and literally the backbone of the bats so I just want a future where some of the kids become HER robins yk#anyway back to the point of the post:#it's kind of alluded to in 2017 supersons; EVERYONE in it comments on how Robin is JUST doing flips and shouting orders#and jon is like The Muscle and the one Doing Stuff - but Jon IS following orders 85% of the time and it works out well for them because#that dynamic of 'I'm not sure I can do it right by myself and I trust you to be my partner so we can do it right together' really#is my favourite like.. they're both filling these ideas of who they're meant to be and they just :( they just seek their own path together#oh no I lost the point again immediately and it became another WHY DO THEY SEPARATE THEM rant#I just think it's really fun to think of Damian as 'the most well trained fighter but ALSO the most likely to step back from a fight'#like yeah when we add in my thoughts on pit rage it adds some angst but that doesn't matter here in THIS post#have I even talked about my hc on pit rage/madness? I don't think I have LMAO (maybe another day)#anyway it's late I'm tired why do I always chat in the tags so much#my posts are literally all in the tags 2% post 98% tags smh#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne
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ok so there's murder time trio where theyre best buddies and get along and sometimes even having more than just platonic interactions. and then there's also the murder time trio where they genuinely just don't like each other and avoid each other and do NOT get along and to me there's just a VERY clear timeline of events that could connect these two group dynamics. like these 2 could coexist,,,,,,
nightmare's fresh outta his little corruption sequence and he needs his henchmen. goes out and gathers the obvious three killer horror and dust (does it really matter how he got them??? kidnapping or not the trio will warm up to him). its his first time having to deal with mentally unstable grown up mortal men and he really has no idea how to manage the team so he lets them have some slack. spoils em a bit yk yk stops fights allows them to hang out allows em to screw around the castle even COMFORTS them,,,, shocking i know (a slightly nice nightmare interpretation from triglycercule? UNFATHOMABLE!!!!)
this killer's fresh outta something new so he's still kinda curious and nosy. he hasnt seen the multiverse and especially not interacted with nightmare/horrordust so he's kinda more outgoing and friendly (ish. to get to know better everyone and satisfy the curiosity of seeing what reactions and feelings these fellas could give him.) bc killer's not that much of a prick and horror and dust would naturally SLIGHTLY get along (and if in the right environment be good buddies. which is nm's lenience and killer's not shittiness) the mtt actually get along pretty well and are good buds!! like the first group dynamic i mentioned where the bad sanses are just kinda like a friend group except they have some weird work relations
and then a fight breaks out and nightmare kills either dust or horror (what about??? anything!) likely dust first because he's more likely to be wary of nm (if kidnapped) and also because he's just kinda more actively righteous compared to horror (who likely wouldn't do much against nm) or killer (does not give a shit.) dust dies, horror likely dies defending dust and that just leaves the og killer and nightmare
nightmare is like "oh shit i just killed my workers". he'll take like a week to ponder what he did and then completely move on (because hes an ass like that.) nightmare gets another horror and dust to replace the ones he killed. and killer is just like wtf how do i deal with this. the guys i were kinda friends were are dead but their copies are right here. like he knew copies existed in the utmv but he didn't think nightmare was so willing to replace them so fast???
this killer's still adapting to the multiverse and stuff (it probably hasn't even been a year since he got snatched up!!!) and yeah hes aware that copies exist and he could get replaced by one but he didn't think that it would LITERALLY HAPPEN RIGHT BEFORE HIS EYES. so he decides to stick more around nm and avoid getting replaced like the og dust and horror because it really just hammers in the point that he's kinda useless if he speaks out like those 2. hes avoidant of the new replacements as well bc hes still new to this experience and is getting used to the whole implications of two guys that were once him and he was friends with died and got replaced by basically the same person
but they still have to work together for obvious reasons. and even if killer's avoiding horror and dust they probably aren't avoiding each other and probably are like wary friends/acquaintances. and naturally killer HAS to become okay worker buddy pals with them because hes stuck living with them. nightmare's a lot stricter and cold to avoid something like dust's rebellion against him happening again. mtt are wary of each other (mostly towards killer. horrordust are pals and killer's kinda growing more apathetic to the duo because he's already experienced a lot of the stuff before with the og two that died.) but theyre still "friends" you could say
and then perchance maybe horror and dust decide to let killer in on a lil secret theyve been cooking up. theyre planning to escape (kidnapped DUH. and nm isn't as nice as he was to og horrordust to warrent them to wanna stay) and even though they don't really trust killer theyre still letting him in on the plan and offer for him to come with them because they lowkey feel bad for him and he's really not all that bad under all the bullshit
but killer saw what happened to the og dust and horror so he says no. and the night that the duo are planning to escape he just has this overwhelming sense of dread. the next morning he wakes up to nightmare standing over his bed with a cold glare telling him of horror and dust's attempted escape and death and killer just kinda. sighs. his dread was right (he was lowkey hoping that they could escape so they didn't die like the original 2)
and then the cycle repeats. previous dust or horror or both die to nightmare or some random outside force or escape (because it has to happen eventually right??) and the pair keep getting replaced. killer keeps witnessing their deaths and replacements and at this point he's just so used to it that he doesn't even TRY to interact with the new horrors and dusts. theyre not even like real people that are getting killed and replaced like robots to him anymore they're just distant coworkers that get fired and then a new one comes to take up the position
each new dust or horror is icked out by nightmare and killer. nightmare is incredibly cold and intimidating and dictatorial and just sucks in general. and killer gives them this distant look. like he knows something they dont. he's already proven to them that he knows that they should obey nightmare and how to deal with the king and they know he's been here longer than them but even when he's not with nightmare or not talking about him they get the blank stare
sometimes when a nicer replacement of horror decides to do something nice for killer like make him a meal he just gives him that look and declines (there's already been countless different horrors that tried doing nice stuff for him. it's not new and nice in his eyes anymore.) maybe when a dust replacement gets irked by killer's apathy and decides to try and say something that'll bother him or snoop through his personal stuff killer will just walk away or kick him out of his room with that creepy ass blank stare again (it's not the first time a dust has tried to rile him up. it's not new or interesting and just predictable)
killer just doesn't CARE about the new horrors and dusts. they're all pretty much the same two guy except maybe a bit nicer or meaner or quieter or even taller or something?? all he really cares about is is serving nightmares atp, no other outside relationships. and ngl he doesn't even care that much about nightmare either. he's already figured out his thinking he's already figured out all of his likes and dislikes and what not to do to piss him off. the only reason he's still dealing with him is because he doesn't have anything else better to do and he doesn't wanna be useless to the one guy that he's served all this time
he's just kinda stuck in an empty boring limbo that killer's only maintaining due to a lack of motivation and any other priorities. and personally i just think this bad sans dynamic is lowkey tragic because like killer keeps witnessing all these guys that he used to be friends or enemies or rivals or whatever with and they just keep dying or leaving him behind. not one ever stays for THAT long (because no wayyyy a dust or horror would take being under a cruel nightmare well) and it's given him this idea that none of these people matter (aside from the important one which is nm) because they're just gonna leave me and the connections ill have formed with them will be for nothing so why even try being vulnerable and friendly and interacting with these cheap copies of the guys i USED to be friends with
#nobody asked for this but i wanted to think of this#i don't know why i always have this idea that just because nobody asked for it doesn't mean nobody wants it. I WANTED TO WRITE THIS!!!!!#see this would work better if it were a fanfic and not a cheap tumblr post about this vague idea#i just wrote this because i really like the image of a blank eyed knowing looking killer#like he KNOWS something about dust and horror that they don't. and it bothers them severely#WHAT DOES HE KNOW??? their death or leaving is what#you ever think that killer has this crazy good sense of being able to predict the future#like he's just gotten so used to things that he just knows their next move#he would be crazy good at reading people and figuring out their behaviors#psycho analyze these guys until he could ACT like them. because what else does he have better to do when so bored and apathetic :3#this (may or may not be) is inspired by a song. i was imagining a dust and horror who kept trying to leave nm and failing miserably#and each time killer would tell their story of how they died or how the previous 2 died#he's like a little time capsule. he stores the experiences and memories of each copy of horror and dust to never tell anyone#because who else would be hell??? the MIRROR??? NIGHTMARE??? lmao no#would this make killer much older than the horrors and dusts that get replaced. maybe i think that would be cool#he lies about how old he is to the other two because if he didn't then they would act differently and not like how he predicts#and anything new and unexpected is kinda scary to killer#ok i think that's enough elaborating in tags. time to actually TAG#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#nightmare sans#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#what tricule tag category does this go in hmmmm hmmmm#this COULD be a hc and BOTH an analysis. but which one...............#i guess analysis because there's not really anything outrageously ooc in this one#tricule analyze
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