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subterfugespecialist · 4 years ago

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Stumbled into Anguish Blind

Patton was grateful for his job as a paramedic. Saving people was worth all the stresses to him. But he never thought one of those people would be his own son.

@badthingshappenbingo Prompt: Ambulance Ride

AO3 Link

Pairing: Familial Moxiety, Prinxiety

Warnings: Gun shot wounds and blood but not terribly graphic depictions of them and the shooting takes place off screen, a character in pain, near panic attacks

Word count: 3032

I am not a medical professional. I did do research but please forgive it if it’s not 100% accurate.

While Patton was grateful for the job he had, he couldn't recommend it to just anyone. Being a paramedic was hard, and incredibly stress inducing. To hold the life of someone in your hands was terrifying. But saving peoples lives - that made it all worth it.

Patton had helped and saved many people during his years as a paramedic - but he never once thought he'd have to save his own son.

That day was supposed to be a happy one. After Patton helped Virgil work through his anxiety of driving, he finally got his license. And with this newfound freedom, Virgil had been able to get a job keeping stock at the art store, with perks such as discounts and limited interactions with customers.

Patton was so proud. Virgil was going to go out with his boyfriend, Roman, and use his first paycheck to look at upgrades for his drum-set. Afterwards, Patton was going to treat them to dinner.

He was glad they weren't embarrassed to spend time with him, like some teens would be. He was blessed with such a great pair of kids.

During breakfast, Patton explained what Virgil needed to do with his paycheck at the bank. After repeating the steps a few times, Virgil felt fairly confident. And Roman was going to be with him, anyways. It seemed that boy was scared of nothing - least of all social interactions.

But how were any of them supposed to know there would be an armed robbery that day?

How were they to know that a gun would be shot?

When Patton got the call and heard the location of the incident, he almost shouted in panic.

"Please," he prayed as the ambulance sirens blared. "Not the kids."

He and the other paramedic, Harley, ran up the ramp with the stretcher as police officers yelled for people to move out of the way.

When they ran inside, it took everything Patton had to not collapse on the ground and scream.

Virgil was on the ground, breathing heavily as he clutched onto Roman's arm. Roman was on his knees, holding his jacket against Virgil's chest.

Patton was grateful Roman's favorite color was red. He thought he would actually faint if he had to see more of his sons blood than was already visible.

It wasn't until Patton knelt next to Roman, now able to hear the soft assurances he was whispering to Virgil, did he notice they had arrived.

"I'm sorry," Roman managed to choke out through his tears when he saw Patton.

"No, no. It's not your fault," Patton manage to say, fighting to speak through the the tension building in the back of his throat. He replaced Roman's hand holding the jacket. "Thank you for taking care of him."

"Dad?"

"Hey, baby. I'm right here. Everything's gonna be okay."

Roman pushed himself back and watched as Virgil was lifted on the stretcher.

"You're okay, honey," Patton found himself repeating as they boarded the ambulance. "You're okay. You're okay."

Virgil grasped at his dad's hand, and Patton had to bite his lip to keep from crying when his son whined as he pulled his hand away.

"Sh, sh, it's okay. I need to put the oxygen mask on you. I'm still right here."

Patton placed the oxygen mask as Harley cut Virgil out of his shirt. He felt Virgil's hand grip tightly on his shirt in place of his hand and Patton really wanted to cry right now.

But he wouldn't. He couldn't. This was his most important patient. He had to be professional.

But it was hard to be when Patton could barely hear himself over the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears. He and Harley replaced Roman's jacket with a proper gauze to keep the pressure, and Patton couldn't help it as a few tears escaped his eyes as he watched Virgil's eyes squeeze shut and his teeth grind in pain. Patton wanted to sob every time he placed a bandage and Virgil winced.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm not trying to hurt you. This is helping, I promise.

It wasn't long after until Virgil's eyes closed and his body went slack.

"Virgil? Virgil! Come on, honey, stay with me," Patton cried as he worked on an IV. Why couldn't he do more? Why was there so little he could do in this ambulance why couldn't he just fix his boy-

"His breathing is destabilizing. We need to give him an endotracheal tube," Harley said as he immediately set to work. Patton's hand moved on autopilot as he helped, and more tears did fall as he watched Virgil's chest move up and down from the tube. That wasn't him breathing it was the machine because the bullet had pierced his baby's lung.

The trip to the trauma center had never felt so long. Had it always been this long? Eventually they were finally able to get the door open and bring Virgil into the trauma center where the waiting doctors took the stretcher from them and rushed Virgil in for emergency surgery.

It wasn't until Virgil was out of sighed did Patton collapse to the ground and finally let himself cry.

His sobs carried down the hallway, and Patton didn't even care that his coworkers were staring at him. The nurses were staring at him. But how could he possibly care when he couldn't be with his son-

"It's going to be okay," Harley said. When had Harley sat next to him? When did he curl into his knees? "You did good. They're going to fix him up in there and everything's going to be okay."

"He's hurt and I can't even help him-"

"Hey, you did help him. No, you weren't able to remove the bullet yourself but you kept your head on straight and got him here in good condition."

Harley pulled Patton up from his knees and held him in a hug. "It's okay, Patton."

Patton rested his forehead on his shoulder. "Thank you. For your help."

"You are very welcome. Come on, now. Let's get you off the floor."

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Patton was, understandably, not on call for the rest of the day. He had paced around the waiting room for the first ten minutes of waiting, but he was exhausted from stress and collapsed into a chair - elbows on his knees and resting his head in his hands.

He didn't look up until he heard frantic footsteps coming down the hall. He panicked for a moment, worried it was a doctor with bad news, but saw it was only Roman.

Patton stood as soon as he saw him and the two met in the middle of the room, Patton holding Roman tightly against him as Roman buried his face into Patton's chest.

"I'm sorry," Roman whispered into Patton's chest. Patton felt tears soak into his shirt. "You trusted me with him and I couldn't even-"

"Hey, no no no," Patton murmured as he led Roman to the chairs. "None of this is in any way your fault."

Roman let out a sob, and Patton pulled him back against him. Roman was a tall boy, but here in Patton's arms he seemed so small.

"And you knew exactly what to do. He was hit in a very critical place, and you saved him from a lot of blood loss by putting pressure on it. I- I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't done that. Roman, you helped him as much as I did in that ambulance."

Roman's tears turned into quiet sniffles, and Patton lifted a hand to gingerly wipe the tear streaks off the boy's face.

"Is he okay?"

Well, no. But he was okay as he could be.

"He's doing fine," Patton assured. "The surgeons are going to take good care of him."

That seemed to finally make Roman relax. He nodded and sat up, wiping his eyes of the last of his tears.

"How did you get here so quickly?" Patton asked.

"I took Virgil's car. He gave me the keys because he didn't want to drive from the bank, since traffic was going to get worse in the afternoon. You know how busy Main gets. I hope you don't mind."

"That's just fine, Roman."

Patton wasn't going to chastise him for driving with only a permit. Not now.

About another hour passed. At one point Roman rested his head on Patton's shoulder, and of course Patton didn't mind. It was nice to have the grounding weight resting on him as he texted family members about what happened.

He felt guilty for not calling, but there was no way he could talk about it and not break into tears again.

The two snapped their heads towards the entrance when they heard footsteps walking down the hall. A doctor walked in and saw them.

She was one of the doctors that took Virgil from him.

"Mr. Sanders?"

Patton nodded.

"The surgery is finished. Everything went fine. He should wake up soon. I can show you to his room."

Patton and Roman quickly stood, and the doctor grimaced.

"And what is your relation?"

It took a moment for the dazed Roman to realize she was talking to him.

"Oh, uh, I'm Roman. I'm his boyfriend."

The doctor, who Patton was now close enough to he could see her name tag read Dr. Taylor, shot him an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, but only family is permitted in before he wakes up."

Patton saw tears build back into Roman's eyes, but he just nodded.

"Okay. Yeah, sure," he said, mouth trembling as his fists clenched his jeans.

"I'll come get you after he wakes up," Patton said, placing a hand on Roman's shoulder.

Roman nodded again, and Patton gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before following Dr. Taylor out of the waiting room and down the hallway.

Patton couldn't ignore the sound of Roman crying as they walked away.

"The bullet shattered one of his ribs, but besides that, and the penetration into the chest, thankfully no other major damage occurred," Dr. Taylor said. "We had to give him a chest tube due to some internal bleeding, though the endotracheal tube we were able to replace with an oxygen mask. So he should be able to speak when he wakes up."

Patton had to focus on counting the clicks of his shoes on the tile to keep his breathing steady.

The two stopped in front of a door and Dr. Taylor put her hand on the handle.

"He's on some pretty strong painkillers, but he should still be cognizant when he wakes up. If anything happens, press the red emergency button by the bed and me and the other doctors will come rushing back."

"Thank you," Patton managed to say through the rising dread in his throat. Dr. Taylor opened the door for him.

Patton stood in the entryway until he heard the door click shut behind him. Once the click snapped him out of his trance, he rushed towards the bed and immediately burst into tears.

There was his baby. Virgil's face was pale but thankfully no longer grimaced in pain. His chest was gently rising and falling, no longer due to a tube down his throat. And though Patton had seen similar sights before plenty of times, seeing all the tubes stuck in his baby's body made Patton collapse on the chair by the bedside.

God, what he'd give to take Virgil's place. To take all his pain away. Patton rested his head in his hands, trying yet again to stop his crying.

"Come on," he thought. "You have to be strong. For him."

He took a deep breath, and the pressure in his throat weakened slightly. He could do this. He could be strong.

But all that resolve fell as soon as he heard a soft, weak voice say “Dad?"

"Virgil!" Patton cried as he leaned towards him, being careful to be gentle as he took hold of Virgil's hand. "Hey, sweetie. I'm right here. I'm right by you."

Virgil's eyes blinked as he got used to the lights. A slight grimace of pain was back on his face, but at least he was awake.

Patton barely managed to catch the hand Virgil lifted towards his oxygen mask, being preoccupied with wiping his tears. "No, kiddo. You need that."

Virgil's hand dropped against the crisp bed sheets. Virgil looked at his hospital bed and all the tubes stuck in him, and Patton's heart shattered as he started crying.

"Shit," Virgil hissed as he lifted his arm with his IV.

"You know, we were just leaving when they ran in," Virgil said, a pained smile on his face as he laughed, though there was no humor in it. "If I hadn't been such a chickenshit and just went in when we got there instead of needing a pep talk from Roman to go into a bank then I wouldn't have-"

"Honey, deep breaths," Patton said as he stood and very gently wrapped his arms around Virgil, holding him as tight as he could without fear of hurting him. "Do not blame yourself." Matching tears fell down Patton's cheeks. "None of this was your fault. There was no way you could have known this would happen. I will not let you continue to beat yourself up about this, understand?"

Though Patton could feel tears falling onto his shoulder, Virgil nodded.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Patton whispered. "I love you so much, you know that?"

"I love you, too, Dad."

There was nothing Patton wanted to do less than let Virgil go, but he could imagine the hug couldn't be the most comfortable for him. So after placing a kiss to the top of Virgil’s head he sat back down, but grabbed hold of Virgil's hand again.

"At least I don't have to run the mile in gym anymore," Virgil said after a beat.

Patton started laughing. It was hardly from the joke, but more so from the relief that was washing over him that yes, Virgil was hurt, but he would be okay. He was awake and joking. Virgil started giggling along with his father, and once they would stop, one could start laughing again and the cycle started all over.

Eventually, they both calmed down.

"No, I suppose you don't," Patton smiled. "I have yet to contact the school. But I'm sure they will understand your... predicament. And I'm sure your friends will be more than happy to help you with your notes.”

Virgil's smile suddenly dropped and his eye's widened as he jolted up, wincing from pain but not retreating.

"Roman. What happened to Roman??"

"Roman is fine," Patton assured. "He's in the waiting room right now."

Virgil visibly relaxed and sank back against the bed.

"Would you like me to go get him? He's anxious to see you."

"In... in a minute," Virgil said as he closed his eyes. "I want to see him, really, but you know he can be..."

"Enthusiastic?"

"Loud."

Patton chuckled. "Okay, baby. Just tell me when.'

One of the nurses walked in, and he was delighted to see that Virgil was awake. While another nurse came in to talk to Patton about Virgil's road to recovery, the first nurse checked some vitals, seemed satisfied, then gave Virgil a bit more painkillers. The painkillers seemed to help Virgil's mood, and he sent Patton to fetch Roman.

Roman's head was in his hands when Patton walked in. He looked up as Patton walked towards him, and when Patton nodded, he bolted out of the chair down the hallway. Patton had to hurry to catch up.

After opening the door for roman, roman rushed to Virgil's bedside, and Patton came in to see Roman pressing kisses all over Virgil's face while crying.

"Oh, Virgil, thank God you're okay," Roman said, openly crying as he placed his hands on Virgil's cheeks. "Oh, sweetheart, darling, love, I was so worried about you-"

Patton didn't even listen to the rest of what Roman said - He had to keep himself from laughing at the two of them. Roman was waxing poetic while Virgil sent mortified glances to his dad. But Patton thought it was pretty adorable, to see a teenager talk that way.

"Yes, I'm fine," Virgil said as he made weak attempts to push Roman off him. "I'm happy to see you but please stop, you drama queen."

Roman laughed and pressed one more kiss to Virgil's cheek before stepping away.

Roman didn't even seem embarrassed as he turned back towards Patton with a large grin. He just put a chair right next to Patton's and promptly sat to take Virgil's hand.

"Remus wants to come see you, too," Roman said as Patton went to sit next to him. "He's on his way with Janus. And he already asked if he could keep the bullet."

"Nope. If anyone gets to keep the bullet, it's me."

Patton shot him a look as he sat next to Roman.

"What?" Virgil asked. "It'd be badass."

"Okay. I excused the first swear word, but you are very much nearing the swear jar again, mister."

Patton was going for stern, but he just couldn't stop smiling. And he wasn't really upset - not when he got Virgil to smile.

"Remus may fight you for it," Roman continued.

"He can't fight me. I was shot."

"I don't think that'd stop him."

"True. He did throw Jason down a flight of stairs even after he broke his leg."

"He did what?" Patton asked. Virgil smirked at the horrified look on his face. "Why would he do that?"

"He was making fun of Janus.”

While Patton didn't dislike Remus, and he was glad Virgil had such a good group of friends, he was very happy Virgil was dating Roman and not his twin.

"And don't let him know I told you this, but he was really worried about you."

"Aw. I knew he loved me."

Virgil looked at his dad with a large grin on his face. And seeing Virgil smile again, really smile, well, that was enough to let Patton know that everything was going to be okay.

Prompts are open for both Bad Things Happen Bingo and general prompts :)

#sanders sides #moxiety #familial moxiety #prinxiety #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #my writing #virgil #patton #roman #virgil fic #roman fic #patton fic

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cybertronianlovenest · 7 years ago

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Interfacing

OK, today are going to discuss interfacing. Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me! Get down tonight, get get get down tonight! Ok, with that out of the way, let’s get onto the topic at hand. We’re going to cover 3 main topics that go hand in hand with interfacing. Reproduction of course, everyone could guess that, but there’s also 2 more that are vitaly important. Those are general health of the mech/femme and the ability to form bonds. We’ll kick this off with the standard point of creating more cybertronians. Sparklings. Cybertronians don’t reproduce as you would think, in fact the act of interfacing can be no more than an after notation in the quest to have a tiny little mech or femme scampering about. There are 2 distinct parts of cybertronian reproduction, interfacing and spark merging. Interfacing is accomplished by inducing an overload, either with a partner or by ones self and isn’t always in the hopes to gain a sparkling. It’s usually accompanied with penetration into ones partner but not always. Each mech/femme has a spike and a valve(minus a few who have had one or another sealed/removed for personal reasons). The taker and receiver have little to do with which gender they are though femmes are slightly are likely to be submissive than mechs. Submissives do usually take to carrying better, with less adverse emotional changes durning the process but that’s not 100 percent. It hinges a lot on their coding as well. For instance Iconian aerial bots, or seekers as they’re more commonly know have a base coding that demands the protection of not only sparklings and younglings but also carriers, and in certain conditions Submissives as well. Praxians(Prowl) share about half their coding with seekers, true Praxians. Not to be confused with any mech that carries doors on their back(Bumblebee). Seekers and Praxians differ in their behavior quite a bit. Seekers when confronted with a sparkling in danger will often offline anyone they precive as a threat. The coding completely over rides everything else and they can’t not control their actions until the sparkling is out of danger. Praxians on the other hand have a much more intact set of coding and are better able to control themselves. If they were to find a sparkling in danger they would still fight to protect it, but only until the danger passed. If the perceived threat turned out to be nothing to worry about they would simply leave. Providing the young one had a care taker. Both types of bots would take in any abondoned sparkling/youngling, but seekers are more likely to raise it alone while Praxians will be driven to find a mate should they not already have one until the youngling is grown enough to be on their own. Mechs/femmes that heir from Polyhexian decent(Jazz) are more dominant and twice as likely to undergo harsher reactions to carrying as say an intermediate mech/femme. An intermediate is a bot that lacks any sort of sparkling base coding, they aren’t submissive, but they aren’t dominant either. They will gladly fill either roll durning the interface(not to say all seekers or Praxians wouldn’t) they just have no pull either way. Now with the coding aspect out of the way we can move on to the act of interfacing. During the interface the partner that is supplying Transfluid to a growing sparkling is generally referred to as a Coder. That’s not to say that they were the one to kindle the sprite though. This is where it can get confusing. There’s 3 main terms to describe mech/femmes who have created a sparkling. These are, Sparker, Coder, and Carrier. The sparker is the bot that has helped to kindle a sprite, the carrier is the one who it is growing inside and the Coder is the one who provides Transfluid. Now, having said that, the sparkling can have many creators depending on how much their carrier gets around. Having many different bits of coding can be a good thing though as it creates a more diverse *gene pool* if you will so if any poor coding, viruses, or defects are weeded out by the stronger coding. The sparker is really only needed for the first 5 orns(roughly 10 weeks). Durning that time the sprite can only have contact with its sparker, anyone else would alter the fluctuations of the carries spark resulting in the sprite being destabilized and reabsorbed back into the carries spark. The first 5 orns are critical to not only getting it off to a good start but also to getting rid of it if the carrier doesn’t want it. If that is the case a simple merge with another will sweep it away. After those initial orns it is strongly opposed since trying after that time will cause severe damage to the carries spark, possibly ending with them going offline. A Coder can step in at any time and assist in the process or completely take over should the sparker not wish to be present. This is where seekers are highly sought after. They will stay with the carrier and help along the sparkling through the whole process and depending on the carriers wishes after it has separated as well. Praxians are not usually concerned over carries, unless it is their mate. They will not generally take in one that had been abondoned like a seeker will. In some cases the sparker can be completely absent in the process minus initial spark contact. It isn’t the best case for the sprite but the carrier can be placed on a spark stabilizer until it’s stronge enough to endure the change in fluctuations while it’s carrier mergers with someone else. Though most sparklings brought about that way are weak and about half don’t make it. In the event that the sparker leaves most medics suggest having it destablized but will comply to the carriers wishes in the end. The Coder’s main job(assuming the sparker is present) is to ensure the sparkling has plenty of Transfluid in order to built its frame. Now the Coder and the sparker can be the same mech, but more often than not the carrier will need more Transfluid than one Coder can provide. If only one is used it often causes draw backs to them since they’re frame is losing so much vital metal. Supplements can help but it takes time for them to be processed into usable material and if not given that time can cause more harm than good. Most carriers prefer to have at least 2 Coder’s though many medics would suggest no less than 4 to keep every one in the best health. Besides kindling new sparks interfacing is also widely used as up keep to ones frame. The Transfluid gained from the interface is stored(so long as the mech/femme isn’t carrying) inside their sparking tank and used to repair any damage to their frame. I’ve covered this on my other post about Transfluid so I’ll only touch on this briefly. Interfacing is often suggested by medics in stead of surgery in order to reduce stress. It works just as well if not better than having to spend groons in stasis on a table getting repairs. Interfacing also helps to regulate spark fluctuations and keep systems running smoothly. Ok, on to spark merging. As with interfacing spark merging has a few uses, one obviously being reproduction. It is also used to form bonds and keep ones frame running smoothly. Spark to spark contact is the only way to kindle a new spark, it can’t be kindled from interfacing alone. The contact between the two sparks given the right conditions will branch off and form another spark. It does up the odds of kindling if they are interfacing, the charge the Transfluid carries adds additional charge making it more likely to get a branching of ones spark. Spark contact is very important to keeping up frame health in order to help change fluctuations much like interfacing. Unlike interfacing if spark contact is not keep up the mech/femme can experience a number of side effects. The most common being sparkcalling, there are cases where it can happen while merging but it’s not common. Sparkcalling is by far the lesser of the issues it can cause and only causes the caller to be more charged up than usual. In most cases a few merges and interfaces will clear up the problem. By far the most severe issue is the weakening of ones spark ending in death if not taken care of. The last symptom would be sparksickness and ranges in severity from mild discomfort to near crushing depression. Once things get that bad it usually takes around 2 orns(2 weeks of spark merging) to fully recover, if the process stops early they will fall back into it in just a few cycles. The cycle goes something like this. It starts as sparkcalling and last around 5 deca-cycles, if it’s not taken care of in that time it degrades into sparksickness and can last for several vorns(each vorn is around 90 years) there really is no set time there since it varies for everyone. At the end of that cycle, their spark begins to weaken and if not given help within just a few deca-cycles they will go offline. Spark contact is vital in bondings as well. I’ll probably do a more in depth piece later so here’s the basics. Bonding is when two bots merge sparks and exchange pieces of each forming a connection that remains even after they part. Bonds are an important part of social structure regarding not just mates, but also family ties.

#transformers

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ulrichfoester · 5 years ago

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How to Stop Racing Thoughts from Depression and Anxiety

Like a perpetual loop in the mind, racing thoughts can invade your sense of peace and be extremely destabilizing. These types of thought patterns tend to feed on themselves, one thought leading to the next and then the next, all connected by the common thread of worry, fear, or sadness. When racing thoughts are so pervasive that they crowd out rational thoughts, it can lead to serious impairment in functioning.

The thing about experiencing these racing thoughts that makes it so harmful is the amount of negative energy they produce. So much time, thought, and energy could be used for productive activities, yet these pessimistic thought patterns suck the life out of us. The constant barrage of stressed out thinking leads us to feel so defeated that there is no productive energy left.

When attempting to find a solution for the constant stream of racing thoughts it is important to first understand what all is feeding them. What kinds of triggers or stressors are revving up the occurrence of racing thoughts? Are you going through a serious life event? Are you not getting sufficient sleep? Is your diet contributing to the anxiety or depression? Understanding the backdrop that allows the racing thoughts to proliferate and keep you off balance is key to breaking the pattern and reclaiming emotional wellness.

About Racing Thoughts

We know that experiencing unending thoughts of gloom and doom are not healthy for us. The connection between mind and body is a powerful one, which means that by allowing the disturbing thoughts to run amok you are putting your health at risk. The unending flow of negative or anxious thoughts can also disrupt daily functioning by zapping energy and keeping you spinning without moving forward. At work this can have profound negative effects, as deadlines are missed or projects stand still.

So what exactly causes us to get into the rut of these racing thoughts in our heads? There is a common thread that seems to run through these kinds of thought patterns: the sense of loss of control in your life. On a subconscious level, clinging to these thoughts keeps us engaged in the perceived dilemma or problem, which gives us a false sense of control over the issue. In reality, the distress caused by entertaining such thoughts is self-defeating, as the anxiety just feeds on itself.

Several mental health conditions can contribute to this symptom of racing thoughts. These include:

Generalized anxiety disorder

Panic disorder,

Obsessive-compulsive disorder

Post-traumatic stress disorder

Depression

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

In addition to the mental health conditions, some medical conditions, such as hyperthyroidism, sleep deprivation, or certain medications can also cause the racing thoughts.

How Anxiety Disorder Can Cause Racing Thoughts

The predominant feature of all anxiety disorders is a sense of having no control over the fear-inducing situation, which can lead to the ongoing racing thoughts. Anxiety disorders are mental health conditions that are characterized by intense worry or fear. In addition to racing thoughts, other general symptoms of anxiety include:

Irritability

Rapid heart rate

Sweating

Trembling

Shallow breathing, hyperventilating, shortness of breath

Edginess, jumpiness, restlessness

Insomnia, sleep disturbances

Fatigue

Gastrointestinal problems

Headaches

Difficulty concentrating

How Depression Can Cause Racing Thoughts

Depression can also be the central issue involved in having racing thoughts. There may be disordered thought patterns that exaggerate the situation and keep one stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts, or there might be issues that have yet to be adequately processed, such as loss and grieving, that contribute to the racing thoughts. Depression symptoms include:

Sadness and hopelessness

Changes in eating habits

Changes in sleeping habits

Slowed thinking and movements

Fatigue

Feelings of shame or guilt

Loss of interest in your hobbies and favorite activities

Suicidal thoughts

How Lifestyle Choices Contribute to Racing Thoughts

There is a clear connection between diet and mental health, and some foods have been identified as beneficial for mental health. To get some relief from the onslaught of recurring racing thoughts, focus on plant-based, organic, clean food sources. Diets should be rich in antioxidants, like berries and beans, and magnesium, such as quinoa, black beans, almonds, and spinach. Other good dietary choices should include:

Salmon, mackerel, tuna—are all high in omega-3 fatty acids

Tumeric, a spice that contains curcumin

Yogurt and kefir

Avocado

Asparagus

Dark chocolate

Pumpkin seeds

Kale

Eggs

Brazil nuts

Chamomile tea

Green tea

Exercise is another essential treatment element for getting a better grasp on anxiety or depression. Science has shown that physical activity, when done on a consistent basis, can significantly bolster mental health. According to Sarah Gingell Ph.D. quoted in Psychology Today, “The simple act of focusing on exercise can give us a break from current concerns and damaging self-talk.” Cardio-specific, or aerobic, activities, such as cycling, swimming, hiking, running, or walking can cause the body to produce endorphins, a brain chemical that naturally improves our moods and lifts the spirit.

While engaging in exercise, neurotransmitter production is also increased, such as dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. These aid in improving concentration, memory, and sleep quality, further improving quality of life. In addition to the mental health benefits, exercise helps regulate stress by regulating cortisol levels, the key issue involved with anxiety disorder.

Quality sleep is another lifestyle issue to focus on. It seems all the day’s burdens unload on us just as we are trying to relax and get some sleep, and our minds just won’t shut off. Try taking a warm bath with some lavender oil before bedtime. Limit electronic device use by shutting these off an hour before you want to go to sleep. Also, resist drinking alcohol or eating heavy meals in the evening.

How to Achieve a Calm Mind Through Holistic Activities

A holistic approach to mental health takes into account all aspects of the individual, considering not only the diagnosis and symptoms, but emotional and social factors as well. By integrating holistic methods into the overall treatment plan a more comprehensive approach to healing will improve the clinical outcome. This is due to the intrinsic and inseparable connection between the mind and the body.

Mindfulness. Research has shown the efficacy of practicing mindfulness for managing anxiety. Mindfulness involves focusing on your breathing, paying attention to the process of inhaling and exhaling of oxygen. As you cultivate a more relaxed state of mind you will find yourself fully present in those special moments, accepting them in a nonjudgmental way.

Meditation. Meditation helps us increase awareness of the present moment or activity, training the mind to achieve a calm and relaxed state. There are different types of meditation to explore until you find the one that fits. Guided meditation apps are readily available to assist the individual in focusing on mental images that bring about a sense of serenity and calm.

Deep breathing. By carving out time for deep breathing, you can curb many of the effects of daily stress and anxiety. Take a very slow, deliberate breath, filling your lungs as full as possible, then hold the breath for the count of five, before slowly releasing the breath to the count of five, exhaling as much as possible. Do this five times in a row and feel the stress drain from your neck, shoulders, and face.

Journaling. Many times the process of rehashing worrisome thoughts over and over is a means of processing the associated emotions. Instead of ruminating over a conflict that occurred with someone that or fear of losing a job, write down these concerns in a journal. Journaling is an excellent way to parse out feelings and sorting out what is really at the source of the negative emotion.

Get organized. One of the common reasons for engaging in constant racing thoughts is the fear of forgetting something important. Maybe you are worried about meeting a deadline or getting to an appointment and you keep thinking about it as a way of helping to remember it. Instead, try some organizational skills that will unburden your mind by offloading the upcoming due dates or appointments to a ‘to-do’ list or an organizing app.

Getting Help for Racing Thoughts

If still plagued with racing thoughts after accessing the above holistic and lifestyle interventions, it is advisable to visit a mental health professional who can provide more intensive treatment. Depending on whether the underlying issue is anxiety or depression, the treatment will address the diagnosis and the specific features. These mental health conditions require a two-pronged approach:

Medication. The doctor will prescribe antidepressants, anti-anxiety medication (benzodiazepines), or mood stabilizers like lithium depending on the diagnosis.

Psychotherapy. The most popular type of psychotherapy for either anxiety or depression is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). With CBT the individual learns how to change the distorted internal messaging that results in the anxiety or depression symptoms, and then the racing thoughts. Both individual and group therapy sessions provide opportunities to learn new thought-behavior patterns that can help mitigate the fears or triggers that fuel the symptoms.

Treatment for anxiety or depression can be obtained in a variety of settings, including private practice, outpatient programs, day programs (also referred to as a partial hospitalization program), or residential treatment.

The Treatment Specialist an Online Resource for Mental Health Conditions

The Treatment Specialist is an online resource library for information and data in the fields of mental health and substance use disorders. Our expert team offers free assistance for individuals seeking information about a mental health issue that might be related to the racing thoughts, and can help you to understand your treatment options. For more information about our free services, please contact The Treatment Specialist today at (866) 644-7911.

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chestnutpost · 6 years ago

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How I Learned To Deal With Panic Attacks At Work — And You Can Too

This post was originally published on this site

During the middle of an ordinary work day, I began to die. Or at least it felt like it, because I was having a panic attack. My throat closed up, my heart rate spiked, and my breathing quickened as I struggled to regain control of my body, sure that death was imminent.

It felt both silly and not silly that the fear of not getting enough air would panic me so much, I would cry about it in the privacy of a bathroom stall, then have to leave work early to go see a doctor, who would clear me as healthy. After the episode passed, I felt defective, wondering what caused the malfunction. I was getting enough air. My heartbeat was normal. My lungs were perfectly operational. But the panic attack destabilized my sense of what was normal.

It wasn’t the first time I experienced a sudden, intense fear for my life for no rational reason. The waves of panic first crashed over me in the months I was unemployed after a layoff. Even after I got a new job, it persisted. The anxiety settled into my bones and made a home there. I no longer trusted myself, so I no longer trusted my body, jumping to the worst conclusion each time a thought misfired in my mind: “You’re not getting enough air, your heart rate is too high, you’re dying, run, get out of the office.” While my co-workers were typing around me, getting work done, I was alone in a life-or-death match with my body.

These panic attacks cost me my time and productivity. I would disrupt my work under deadline to walk outside to a nearby garden and pace among trees until I could prove to myself that my body was fine. What is debilitating about panic attacks is that once you have one, you can develop a fear of them happening again. The shame isolated me and prevented me from asking for help. I did not want my boss or co-workers to see me as unreliable, so I kept these episodes of panic to myself.

It took trial and error, a good therapist, self-help books and time to retrain my brain to trust my body again. Making peace with myself is a process I am still refining, and it’s one panicked people everywhere can learn too, whether they experience panic on a clinical level or through an occasional sense of acute dread. Here are the expert-backed tips I learned that I would share with my anxious self and anyone who feels creeping panic at work.

1. Focus your breathing

Focused breathing centers our bodies when we are being hijacked by a surge of panic. Research has linked breathing to lower stress levels and reduced negative anxiety and emotions.

But being told to just breathe can be less helpful when you feel short of breath at your desk. Try long, slow breaths as you feel the symptoms of panic rise, said Maryland-based clinical psychologist Monique Reynolds of the Center for Anxiety and Behavior Change.

She recommended breathing in for a count of four, then breathing out for a count of six to slow your heart rate and breathing, which in turn activates the parasympathetic nervous system. During a panic attack, our body’s fight-or-flight response is turned on, releasing adrenaline and increasing heart rate and breathing to enable the body to fend off or flee a perceived threat. Breathing slowly tells the body we can let our guard down.

“We want to activate the brake system, the parasympathetic system,” Reynolds said. “A long slow breath is a really good way to do that. It cues our whole system that we are safe, there’s no danger here.”

2. Confront the panic head-on

Once we’re in the full throes of a panic attack, we may experience physical symptoms that accompany overwhelming sudden fear, like shaking, heart palpitations, chest pains, difficulty breathing, lightheadedness and paralyzing terror, according to the American Psychological Association.

These symptoms can be scary, but instead of shying away from the body’s discomfort, people should accept their circumstances to make the panic attack shorter. “Anxiety needs avoidance to really function,” Reynolds said. “The moment we start saying, ‘Oh, my God, this can’t happen now. I can’t have this panic attack. This is the worst time ever,’ then you’re in trouble.”

It may seem counterintuitive, but the quickest way to move through to the other side of a panic attack is to confront the feelings directly, she said. “If you know that typically you have a rapid heart rate, you might say to yourself, ‘Bring it on. I know my heart is going to pound, I’m going to feel dizzy for a second, my hands are going to sweat,’” she said. “Part of it is really educating yourself on what are your symptoms of panic.”

In his book When Panic Attacks, psychiatrist David Burns recalls how he lessened his fear of blood after he was forced to be surrounded by it in an emergency room as a student. “Instead of avoiding the thing you fear, you intentionally expose yourself to it and flood yourself with anxiety,” he writes. “You don’t fight the anxiety or try to control it, you just surrender to it. Eventually the anxiety burns itself out and you’re cured.”

3) Get logical

During a panic attack, we can stop thinking logically. Signals from deeper regions of the brain like the hypothalamus and brain stem, which are involved in defense responses, can take over instead of being moderated by the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decisionmaking. You can put the logical part of your brain back in the driver’s seat with a few techniques.

Narrate your experience. Addressing panic means giving it language, even if it is just you narrating what you’re going through in your head. This narration can help get your brain’s reasoning parts back online when you are not thinking straight during a panic attack.

“When you’re having a panic attack, your prefrontal cortex that has all that logical, sequential thought ― the reasoning, rational brain ― actually goes offline,” Reynolds said.

Narration can include talking yourself through an attack in multiple ways. You can become curious about your feelings instead of afraid of them. Noticing the world outside yourself or writing down how you feel can help accomplish that.

Take five. If you’re in the middle of a panic attack, unable to speak, one thing you can do to re-engage the rational brain is to focus on other sensations. Look around the room and find five things of a certain color, then listen for four different sounds, touch three textures, smell two things and taste one thing, Reynolds recommended. “The process of engaging your senses and focusing on sensory information pushes your brain back into engaging your prefrontal cortex,” she said.

Write it down. If panicking at work happens with any frequency or with known triggers, she recommended writing down self-coaching reminders on index cards to cue your logical side.

These statements should not be blanket reassurances like “You’re going to be fine” but positive statements you can believe in, such as “This feeling is uncomfortable, but it is not dangerous” or “I can handle difficulty,” Reynolds said.

Journaling how you feel before or after a panic attack can also help you notice what may be beneath those intense feelings of panic. Chloe Carmichael, a New York City–based clinical psychologist, recommended that people first confirm with a medical doctor that they are healthy and then use techniques like journaling to uncover the hidden emotions driving the panic.

“If you really do feel you’re having sudden, intense emergencies over your feelings, then it may be a sign you need to connect with your feelings more frequently so they don’t have to reach fever pitch to get your attention,” she said.

For people who avoid their emotions until they burst out in a panic attack, documenting what happened during the day can be a useful way to use language to calm down, feel in control and understand what prompts panicky fear. “In a very simple way, write down what was your high point and your low point of the day,” Carmichael said.

4. Connect with someone

During one frantic walk outside my office, I called my dad and felt my heart rate slow at the sound of his familiar voice. I no longer felt helpless, and knowing that support was a phone call away kept me going and enabled me to finish the workday.

Too many of us keep quiet about what is happening when we start to panic at work. A panic attack can be an isolating event, especially in a workplace where you may not feel comfortable sharing this vulnerability with your colleagues.

“There’s this sense of secrecy that tends to inflame the situation,” Reynolds said.

Seeking our support structures takes away secrecy’s isolating power and can put us back in control of our situations. “Instead of just being reactive, which is just running to the bathroom to catch your breath, you can be proactive by noticing in advance that you’re feeling on edge and could use some support,” Carmichael said. Texting or emailing friends or family members to see if they can chat during your lunch break or arranging to meet up with someone after work can be ways to call on your support, she said.

5. Identify your workplace triggers

After a panic attack, where it happened can become a source of dread. If the workplace becomes a place of panic-inducing stress, reflect on the triggers to see what can be changed about the situation.

“It’s really important to start using really descriptive language on what exactly about your office was so stressful that you ended up reacting this way,” Carmichael said. Ask yourself if it was your office environment or if the source is your field of work in general, social dynamics in your office or that you need to learn how to communicate more assertively about your workload, she said.

Even if you do not experience panic attacks specifically, knowing how you can address workplace stress is useful.

Unfortunately, addressing workplace stress and anxiety that you cannot avoid can be difficult. “It becomes a problem when the thing that your brain wants to avoid is also the thing that allows you to pay rent,” said Mary Poffenroth, a San Jose University researcher and lecturer on fear.

She said people can think about the central trigger for that workplace panic so they can talk with leadership on what can be adjusted. “Was it an individual person? Was it the overall culture? Was it a project? Was it a particular thing, like presenting?” she said. Then you can arrive at “some creative ways to deliver on what that need is but not do that thing that you know is going to send you into a tailspin.”

Panic happens to many of us

I am not the only person who has experienced embarrassing panic in a most inconvenient setting like an office, and I will not be the last. It’s estimated that 6 million American adults live with panic disorder, which comes with frequent attacks, and many more experience attacks less often. If you are huffing and pacing outside your office to get through the workday, if you need to take a break to call your parents to cope under a deadline, if you are slowly counting out breaths at your desk, know that there are many supportive people out there and that tools like the ones above can help.

If this is affecting your everyday life to the point that you can’t function, it’s worth seeing a mental health professional to get to the bottom of what’s going on. You deserve to be able to live a normal, productive life both in and out of the office.

The post How I Learned To Deal With Panic Attacks At Work — And You Can Too appeared first on The Chestnut Post.

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pitz182 · 6 years ago

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Microdosing Marijuana at 9 Years Sober

Microdosing. All the cool kids in Silicon Valley are doing it, and anyone who got sober before 2015 has been left out of the fun. At least, anyone with an all-or-nothing recovery plan, which is most people, but definitely not yours truly. Anecdotally, it looks like it’s better to have Silicon Valley hooked on low doses of LSD and psilocybin than abusing Adderall, but more empirical data on the therapeutic benefits of this trend is needed. Though I’m not going near psychedelics without a doctor’s note, I have dabbled in some microdosing on weed, and I still consider myself 100% sober.Alcohol was my problem. It was a gnarly problem. I put the kibosh on that problem in 2009 and haven’t looked back.Google piqued my interest in microdosing on weed by feeding me a headline that claimed one puff of it could blast away depression. I double-clicked. Since I deal with bipolar disorder and have benefited from using CBD (the non-psychoactive component in marijuana), the article seemed relevant.According to the study, one drag of low-THC and high-CBD dose of weed can knock out depression immediately, unlike traditional antidepressants that often take a few weeks to kick in. But, there’s a catch: Continual use of THC could worsen depression, so this had to be an every-now-and-again smoke. I stored that information in my brain for future reference, noting that if I ever experienced an intense depression that didn’t abate I could give it a try since I’m fortunate enough to live in Los Angeles (pot shops on nearly every major street).About two months after I read about the study, I got stuck in a morass of negativity and self-deprecation and self-doubt for about a week. Everything was out of alignment, and no matter how much meditation I did, I just couldn’t snap out of it. Sure, I have bipolar II, but because I take meds, 90% of the time the symptoms are manageable. Still, there are those days when stress or neurochemistry or hormones or a bad fight with a boyfriend can throw me off.Sometimes I find relief in jogging or dancing, calling my therapist or going to a meeting, but there are times where I don’t have the energy or ability to do the very things I know will help (Depression 101). Since I’ve dealt with the condition for so long, I know when I’m dealing with a chemical imbalance and when I’m dealing with a psychological imbalance.This time it felt like both.I was curious to see how the weed would work, especially since I’d heard so much about the benefits of microdosing on psychedelics from friends. Because the CBD succeeded in quieting my anxiety and smoothing out my thoughts, I figured why not try something with a bit of THC.Anyone who smokes pot can tell you that it triggers euphoria, thereby alleviating depression; you don’t need a study to tell you that. But I’ve never been a huge fan of weed, for several reasons.For starters, my sister smoked way too much of it when she was 18, and she wound up with a permanent case of acute paranoid schizophrenia right after a three-month-long binge. Her doctor said the weed probably triggered a dormant case of the illness inherited from my schizophrenic grandfather, one that would have emerged with or without the pot, it was just a matter of time. So, that instilled in me a well-warranted dose of fear.After staying far away from weed until my early 20s, I started smoking it every now and then, but not very often, and I certainly never purchased any or had it around. You’re probably wondering why I’d even risk smoking pot at all given my sister’s condition. Well, the doc also pointed out that she displayed many early signs of the disorder from childhood, and that my emotional and expressive--albeit mood-disordered--personality was opposite of what you’d typically see in a child predisposed for schizophrenia.I also had passed adolescence by the time I started smoking, and the science says adolescents are the ones most at risk. Strength and frequency also play a huge role, and my sister admitted that she holed herself up in her dorm room smoking bowl after bowl after bowl all day long for months until she literally couldn’t think anymore. I had no intention of smoking more than a hit or two off a blunt.My highs were a total mixed bag: Sometimes they relaxed me, sometimes they brought on unstoppable fits of giggles; one time I had waking dreams about dancing tortilla chips, and a few times I found myself in the midst of very uncomfortable paranoia. The one and only time I smoked way more than two hits, I wound up with full-blown psychosis that ruined an entire Halloween for multiple people. Even when smoking did bring on an enjoyable high, I still had to endure those moments of not remembering the last word I spoke, which I found, and still find, utterly horrifying. Plus my head felt like it weighed 100 pounds and my face felt like it was going to burn off.Pot just didn’t provide an alluring buzz. I never developed a craving for or addiction to it.If the weed I smoked had had even a small percentage of CBD, those episodes of paranoia would likely have not occurred since CBD actually curbs the anxiety-inducing effects of THC. In fact, in a bizarre twist of irony, studies have shown CBD effectively treats schizophrenia.Sadly, whoever bred weed in the 90s and early 2000s grew strains that had little or no CBD because it decreases the psychoactive effect. (Remember chronic?) Now, CBD is making a comeback among health-conscious, microdosing millennials who are sensible enough to want a more balanced high. This is good news for a paranoid Gen Xer.Now, you can walk into the local dispensary and see a smorgasbord of pot goodies that include CBD, from all-CBD vanilla bean cookies to 1:1 taffies to 100% CBD oil cartridges. There are salves and gums and pre-rolls and mints and a white CBD dust that looks just like cocaine, and all of them are labeled with the milligrams and the percentages of THC and CBD. This is heaven for someone like me who might want to try some pot without getting paranoid or stoned.I have to say, I love budtenders. Mitch, who manned the shop by my house, was extremely sympathetic to my terror of coming down with pot-induced paranoia. He emphasized that dosing, strain, and CBD content made a world of difference when trying to avoid it and pointed me in the direction of 1:1 taffies. Each taffy had 5 mg of CBD and THC, which sounds low, but it’s no microdose for someone like me. According to Mitch, 5 mg of CBD and THC can lead to a strong high for someone with zero pot tolerance, and I wasn’t looking to get stoned — I just wanted that mild euphoria, for the bell jar to lift.I ended up buying the taffies and slicing them into thirds, which Mitch suggested. In the end, I was ingesting about 1.5 mg of THC and 1.5 mg of CBD, which a lot of doctors would consider an ineffective dose, but not for me! My brain is super sensitive. After two hours, I ended up feeling a very small effect, but of course it grew.Ultimately, the high — if you’d call it that — was a powerful feeling of ease and positivity. My thoughts quieted, and yes, a mild euphoria fell over me. It was, without a doubt, a nice buzz, but a buzz no more intense than a glass of wine sipped slowly and on a reasonably full stomach. Despite this buzz, I had no craving for more pot. I was so pleased to not be paranoid or forgetting my thoughts as they spilled out of my head, the last thing I wanted was more. More might have induced those adverse effects. (Oh, the benefits of legalization!)I am not ashamed of that pot buzz nor do I think it nulls my sobriety in any way. My sobriety is just that — my sobriety, and it’s not some stringent moral code that demands I never feel any psychoactive pleasure whatsoever just because I used to drink myself into rages, sobs, and blackouts. If the pot buzz was harmless and actually beneficial for my mental health, why not embrace it? One of the main reasons I got off the booze is because how seriously destabilizing it is for my mood given my bipolar diagnosis. When I drank too much, it sent me crashing down into suicidal depressions.Normal drinkers get a slight buzz — if not a big buzz — from their drinks, and they’ll admit it. It’s a social lubricant and a relaxant that well-adjusted and healthy folks leverage all the time to take the edge off and have fun. When they manage to leverage these positive aspects of alcohol without destroying their lives, we tip our hats to them.Being out of AA for nearly three years no doubt helped me take the microdosing plunge with zero guilt.Now, if I wanted to gorge myself on those taffies after this experience, that would be problematic, at least for me. Someone else might not care if they engage that behavior, but I’m not in the mood to pick up any new addictions.I’m still very wary of using weed on the regular given my familial history of schizophrenia, though at this age my chances of developing the illness are low. Some studies have shown that heavy and regular use can fry your short-term memory, and I’m not down for that either: I need all the synapses I can get as I push 40. So, I don’t plan on using it very often.After having the weed, the positive mood lasted for a few days without ingesting any more taffies. I basically just returned to baseline. I didn’t eat any for weeks after that episode. Since then, I’ve probably had two or three, each time cutting them in thirds or halves. After a while, the package just sat there in the fridge, and eventually I ended up tossing them when I moved out of the apartment.So, now I have no taffies, and I could frankly care less. If I feel like one might help me in the future, I’ll take it. If I go out to the desert, maybe I’ll take some for recreational use. Either way, I know my limitations, and I know I don’t want to do it often. Because I don’t experience a craving, I doubt this will be a problem. I experienced a craving for alcohol from Day One. From the very beginning, I needed more.“Marijuana maintenance,” or smoking pot in recovery, is generally frowned upon by your standard AA member. Historically referred to (incorrectly) as “the gateway drug,” 12-step philosophy looks at it in the same way, cautioning that if you start smoking it in recovery it will open up the floodgates toward drinking again.The problem with this thinking is that it doesn’t take into account the vast differences that exist between all of us, be they physiological or psychological, or, hell, even spiritual. After reading much about recovery, from Lance Dodes to Marc Lewis to Gabrielle Glaser to Bill Wilson and all the stories in the rest of the Big Book, I feel that it's unconscionable to argue that we are not unique, as so many people do in 12-step programs. We are highly unique, and observing this and tailoring treatment plans for each individual will increase success at recovery. One-size-fits-all recovery modalities are, according to my research, quite dangerous.Imagine if a woman with breast cancer walked into a doctor’s office and the doctor said, “Well, there’s no reason to take any additional imaging because all breast cancer patients are the same. You’re not unique. Mastectomy it is!”Even in the dark ages medicine was probably more sophisticated than this. So why are we in the dark ages when it comes to addiction treatment? If our bodies are this unique, then so are our minds. The field of psychiatry also takes our differences into account, with medication and other treatment prescribed according to individual circumstances.I am not encouraging anyone to microdose, but I am trying to encourage the sober community to keep an open mind about new psychotherapeutic treatments and to accept the fact that some people can stay away from their drug of choice while indulging in a substance that wasn’t and isn’t problematic. Studies have shown that marijuana can benefit our mental health; let’s continue to study this promising medicine instead of closing ourselves off to it out of fear.Microdosing on anything while in recovery is a very nuanced topic, and drawing blanket conclusions won’t do anyone a bit of good. But in order to make room for these conversations, we have to be open and accepting. We have to be willing to say, “Okay, she can take a little THC every now and then and enjoy it. I know it’s not a good idea for me since I smoked too much pot in the past, so I won’t do it.” We all need to be in touch with our own limits and accept them while not imposing them on others; otherwise, we resort to reductive fear-mongering that has no basis in reality.

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alexdmorgan30 · 6 years ago

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Microdosing Marijuana at 9 Years Sober

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emlydunstan · 6 years ago

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Microdosing Marijuana at 9 Years Sober

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fitnesswomenshealth-blog · 6 years ago

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Thousands of mental health professionals agree with Woodward, NYT op-ed author: Trump is dangerous

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Thousands of mental health professionals agree with Woodward, NYT op-ed author: Trump is dangerous

Bob Woodward’s new reserve, “Fear,” describes a “nervous breakdown of Trump’s presidency.” Earlier this year, Michael Wolff’s “Fire and Fury” provided a comparable portrayal.

Now, an op-ed in The New York Moments by an nameless “senior White Residence official” describes how deeply the troubles in this administration operate and what effort and hard work is expected to protect the nation.

None of this is a shock to all those of us who, 18 months in the past, put collectively our have public services reserve, “The Perilous Situation of Donald Trump: 27 Psychiatrists and Mental Health and fitness Professionals Assess a President.”

My concentration as the volume’s editor was on Trump’s dangerousness due to the fact of my region of abilities in violence avoidance. Approaching violence as a community health problem, I have consulted with governments and international companies, in addition to 20 a long time of partaking in the personal assessment and treatment of violent offenders.

The e book proceeded from an ethics meeting I held at Yale, my dwelling institution. At that meeting, my psychiatrist colleagues and I mentioned balancing two important duties of our career. First is the duty to discuss responsibly about community officials, particularly as outlined in “the Goldwater rule,” which involves that we refrain from diagnosing devoid of a own assessment and without having authorization. 2nd is our obligation to guard general public well being and safety, or our “duty to warn” in scenarios of threat, which generally supersedes other regulations.

Our conclusion was overwhelmingly that our responsibility to culture and its protection, as outlined in our ethical rules, overrode any etiquette owed to a general public determine. That determination led to the collection of essays in the reserve, which contains some of the most distinguished thinkers of the field which include Robert J. Lifton, Judith Herman, Philip Zimbardo and two dozen other individuals. That decision was controversial amid some associates of our industry.

We now know a terrific offer about Trump’s psychological condition based on the voluminous information and facts he has offered by way of his tweets and his responses to genuine situations in real time. Now, this week’s credible studies guidance the fears we articulated in the e book over and above any question.

These reviews are also constant with the account I been given from two White Home personnel customers who known as me in October 2017 for the reason that the president was behaving in a method that “scared” them, and they considered he was “unraveling”. They had been calling for the reason that of the book I edited.

Once I verified that they did not understand the situation as an imminent hazard, I referred them to the emergency home, in buy not to be bound by confidentiality procedures that would apply if I engaged with them as a managing medical professional. That would have compromised my purpose of educating the community.

The psychology guiding the chaos

The author of the New York Moments op-ed can make very clear that the conflict in the White Home is not about Trump’s ideology.

The issue, the creator sees, is the absence of “any discernible first principles that information his selection producing . . . his impulsiveness [that] final results in 50 percent-baked, sick-informed and from time to time reckless selections that have to be walked back again, and there getting practically no telling whether he may possibly modify his thoughts from 1 minute to the next.”

These are definitely psychological indications reflective of emotional compulsion, impulsivity, bad focus, narcissism and recklessness. They are similar to individuals that Woodward describes in a lot of examples, which he writes were achieved with the “stealthy machinations employed by people in Trump’s inner sanctum to test to command his impulses and protect against disasters.”

They are also steady with the class we foresaw early in Trump’s presidency, which concerned us enough to outline it in our ebook. We tried out to alert that his condition was worse than it appeared, would improve worse above time and would inevitably become uncontainable.

What we observed were indicators of psychological instability — symptoms that would finally engage in out not only in the White Household, as these accounts report, but in domestic cases and in the geopolitical sphere.

There is a robust connection among fast dangerousness — the chance of waging a war or launching nuclear weapons — and extended societal dangerousness — guidelines that power separation of youngsters from family members or the restructuring of world-wide relations in a way that would destabilize the environment.

Getting worse

My existing concern is that we are presently witnessing a additional unraveling of the president’s psychological point out, especially as the frequency of his lying boosts and the fervor of his rallies intensifies.

I am concerned that his mental challenges could induce him to acquire unpredictable and most likely severe and unsafe actions to distract from his lawful challenges.

Mental wellness industry experts have normal treatments for evaluating dangerousness. Additional than a individual job interview, violence likely is greatest assessed as a result of past heritage and a structured checklist of a person’s qualities.

These qualities consist of a history of cruelty to animals or other folks, hazard taking, habits suggesting decline of control or impulsivity, narcissistic persona and latest psychological instability. Also of concern are noncompliance or unwillingness to endure exams or procedure, accessibility to weapons, lousy romantic relationship with major other or partner, looking at oneself as a target, deficiency of compassion or empathy, and absence of problem more than repercussions of damaging functions.

The Woodward reserve and the New York Periods op-ed confirm lots of of these traits. The rest have been evident in Trump’s actions outside the White Residence and prior to his tenure.

That the president has satisfied not just some but all these conditions should really be cause for alarm.

Other methods in which a president could be harmful are by means of cognitive indicators or lapses, since functions this sort of as reasoning, memory, focus, language and discovering are critical to the duties of a president. He has exhibited indications of decrease listed here, much too.

On top of that, when a person shows a propensity for huge-scale violence, these kinds of as by advocating violence from protesters or immigrant family members, contacting perpetrators of violence such as white supremacists “very wonderful people” or demonstrating oneself vulnerable to manipulation by hostile overseas powers, then these factors can advertise a significantly extra common society of violence.

The president has previously demonstrated an alarming escalation of irrational actions all through occasions of distress. Other folks have observed him to be “unstable,” “losing a step” and “unraveling.” He is probably to enter such a condition all over again.

Violent functions are not random occasions. They are finish solutions of a very long system that comply with recognizable designs. As psychological overall health industry experts, we make predictions in phrases of unacceptable concentrations of chance rather than on the basis of what is particular to materialize.

Trump’s impairment is a familiar pattern to a violence specialist these as myself, but supplied his degree of severity, a person does not want to be a expert to know that he is harmful.

What up coming?

I consider Woodward’s guide and the revelations in the New York Instances op-ed have placed wonderful stress on the president. We are now moving into a time period when the stresses of the presidency could speed up simply because of the advancing special counsel’s investigations.

The degree of Trump’s denial and resistance to the unfolding revelations, as expressed in a recent Fox interview, are telling of his fragility.

From my observations of the president more than extended time through his community presentations, direct feelings by means of tweets and accounts of his shut associates, I feel that the question is not whether or not he will appear for interruptions, but how before long and to what diploma.

At least various hundreds of psychological wellbeing specialists who are customers of the Nationwide Coalition of Anxious Mental Wellbeing Industry experts share the perspective that the nuclear start codes ought to not be in the hands of anyone who displays these ranges of mental instability.

Just as suspicion of crime need to lead to an investigation, the severity of impairment that we see should really guide to an evaluation, preferably with the president’s consent.

Mental impairment should be evaluated independently from felony investigations, making use of professional medical requirements and standardized steps. A sitting down president may well be immune to indictments, but he is subject matter to the law, which is rigorous about public safety and the proper to procedure when an individual poses a threat to the public because of psychological instability. In the circumstance of hazard, the client does not have the proper to refuse, nor does the health practitioner have the suitable not to consider the man or woman as a patient.

This evaluation may perhaps have been delayed, but it is nonetheless not much too late. And mental health specialists have in depth practical experience assessing, restraining and managing individuals substantially like Trump — it is pretty much schedule.

This is an up to date variation of an post originally posted on September 7, 2018 it displays new data about the author’s call with White Household employees.

Bandy X. Lee, Assistant Clinical Professor, Yale University of Medicine, Yale College

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demidelerious · 7 years ago

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The 5 Best Nootropic Stacks For Anxiety

Anxiety can be very destabilizing if not properly handled, that is many of us look for the best nootropic stack for anxiety. Whether you are a student with nerves on edge over an exam or you suffer from social anxiety and couldn’t make a friend to save your life, it is important to get help. The use of Nootropics has been shown to be very successful in dealing with anxiety. All you need to do is to find the compound that works best for you and the best dose of that compound. Despite different people having different responses to many Nootropics available, there are a few that you can never go wrong with as far as anxiety is concerned. Below are 5 of these nootropic stacks and an explanation of exactly what it is that makes each one of them so effective.

1. Aniracetam

Aniracetam is a member of a group of Nootropics referred to as Racetams. Like its other group members, Aniracetam has protagonist effects on AMPA glutamate receptors. In a nutshell, the chemical reaction cascade that follows results in significant improvement in mood. That way, you will not only get over your anxiety but also feel a lot happier and more motivated.

2. Noopept

Noopept is without a doubt one of the most powerful Nootropics when it comes to dealing with anxiety. It works like Racetams by promoting Glutamate activity on AMPA receptors in the brain. It has also been shown to improve the levels of Dopamine and Serotonin in the brain. This in turn results in mood improvement, energy boosts, anxiolytic effect and so much more. However, despite all these benefits Noopept can be quite a wild card working for some and not for others. It is therefore important to try it out alone for a while to see whether or not it does the trick for you.

3. Phenibut

Phenibut has a sedative effect which makes it the best when dealing with serious anxiety attacks. It works by promoting GABA neurotransmitter activity. GABA has an inhibitory effect on the brain and use of Phenibut will result in a generalized state of relaxation. This is perfect for people prone to panic attacks but might not be such a good option if you have work to get back to. The last thing you want is to go through an entire day of work or school in a daze. Should you settle for this compound, it is important to space out the doses in order to avoid unwanted effects.

4. Inositol

Inositol is another compound that induces relaxation by promoting GABA activity in the brain. As a result of this effect, it is great for anxiety associated with stress and depression. With this in your daily regimen, you will be one happy and calm sailor whether it is midterms around the corner or a nagging boss constantly on your case.

5. Picamilon

Finally, Picamilon is worth considering when looking for anxiolytic Nootropics. It is unique in that it has both sedative and stimulating effects on the brain. It promotes GABA activity leading to relaxation and relief of mental fatigue. However, it also paradoxically causes slight stimulation with mood improvement, increased focus and an energy boost. With all these benefits and the lack of any side effects, Picamilon is perfect for stacking.

Conclusion

If you are always nervous and on edge, it goes without saying that the 5 nootropics above will help you calm down. It is also very important to complement their use with a lifestyle change if possible. This means things like getting more organized to avoid last minute rush-induced anxiety and pretty much making a deliberate effort to be calm and happy.

The post The 5 Best Nootropic Stacks For Anxiety appeared first on Acetylcholine.net.

Source: http://acetylcholine.net/5-best-nootropic-stacks-anxiety/

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djgblogger-blog · 7 years ago

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Market bubbles and sonic attacks: Mass hysterias will never go away

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Were U.S. diplomats at the embassy in Cuba stricken by a mass delusion? AP Photo/Ramon Espinosa

Ancient and quaint seem the days of witch crazes, demon scares and tulip manias. Instances of mass hysteria may strike you as rare events in modern advanced societies. But such outbreaks are products of their times. They’re still around today, just in different guises.

Aided and abetted by its status as an internet meme, the myth of an evil, supernatural Slenderman has been panicking impressionable adolescents since 2009, even culminating in an attempted murder by proxy. If it’s easy to brush this off as a case impressionable teens with too much internet access, then what of otherwise rational late 20th-century American adults participating in suicide cults, Puerto Rico’s mythical cattle-killing Chupacabra monster, the “irrational exuberance” of the dot-com bubble in the 1990s, or the seemingly insane rush to make bad real estate investments in the latter 2000s?

As this article is being written, the U.S. is embroiled in a diplomatic dustup with Cuba that has all the classic symptoms of a collective delusion. The U.S. State Department claims its diplomats in Havana were subjected to “sonic attacks” that produced a range of physical symptoms including hearing loss, headaches and dizziness. Consequently, the State Department pulled out most of its embassy staff and sent packing most Cuban diplomats stationed in the U.S. Although post-hoc medical exams have identified unusual physical conditions in some diplomats, there is still no direct evidence tying them to the alleged sonic attacks. Moreover, the political timing, logistical demands and absence of a plausible technology put the likelihood of the attacks at virtually zero.

So how do otherwise logical and informed 21st-century people fall under the spell of these mass delusions? Over the past several decades, psychologists and sociologists have used examples like these to dig into when and how this kind of false belief gains traction.

One of the most famous mass delusions in America led to the Salem witch trials in 17th-century Massachusetts. Joseph E. Baker, Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division

A recipe for collective delusion

Collective delusions are the culprits behind mass hysterias and related phenomena. As traditionally defined, they’re characterized by a rapid, spontaneous and temporary spread of false beliefs within a circumscribed population.

Nowadays that circumscribed population can be a virtual one, bounded only by cyberconnections to a shared source of misinformation. The recent upsurge in vocal flat-Earth proponents, for example, is not the result of geographical neighbors whipping each other into a near frenzy. Social media makes it easy to find like-minded others, serve distorted information to the curious, and stir up excitement about events such as the 2017 eclipse, celebrity endorsements, and a proposed rocket launch by a flat-Earth proponent intended to prove once and for all that we are all living on a disc.

Collective delusions emerge under a combination of several conditions. Each of these precursors is straightforward enough, but it’s harder to foresee when they might occur in concert. In turn, this makes predicting delusional outbreaks a very inexact science.

The most obvious precursor is the presence of multiple people who are sufficiently connected so as to share information or experiences.

In 1978, Rev. Jim Jones orchestrated a ritual of mass murder and suicide of his followers, isolated in Jonestown, Guyana. AP Photo/File

Second, just as an isolated individual may develop some beliefs and behaviors that depart from prevailing norms, collective delusions and responses are more likely to occur in relatively insular groups or networks.

Third, a collective delusion is more likely to take hold if the group is undergoing some kind of distress. This could be rising unemployment, political destabilization or an enemy’s threats of warfare. On a smaller scale, a town may lose a crucial employer, or a fire-and-brimstone minister can instigate a satanic panic with rumors of baby-killing cults.

And fourth, the stressors are potent enough to trigger, in at least some individuals, either a psychosomatic response or scapegoating behavior. Psychosomatic reactions – physical symptoms with psychological causes – may be as mild as itching or as severe as blindness. Scapegoating involves blaming a group of innocent (or possibly nonexistent) others for causing problems – psychosomatic or otherwise.

When conditions are ripe, this catalyzing subset of group members sets off a chain reaction. They begin to seek and identify external causes for their distress, or sources for its relief. Psychosomatic responses spread; contempt for the scapegoats grows. People become hypervigilant and toss critical thinking out the window, looking for and finding imagined threats. Conspiracy theories are spawned, angels and demons invoked, fears stoked, panic induced. The supernatural may start to seem natural.

As more and more group members become ensnared in a positive feedback loop, the perceived threat is legitimized, only broadening and deepening social distress further. Because they are inherently newsworthy, mass delusions are picked up by mass media which fan the flames even more.

In these ways, a nonexistent threat can set off a self-sustaining cascade of irrationality that lasts until the perceived threat recedes.

Will they look back and wonder what they were thinking? Jacob Ehnmark, CC BY

Delusion everywhere, to different degrees?

While descriptions of mass hysterias make great reading, they represent only the far end of a continuum of what sociologists like me call social diffusion processes. For the most part, these are quite mundane – you might recognize a few from your own daily life. While around the world stock market bubbles and bank runs make news, less frenetic responses to perceived threats and conspiracies abound: the 9/11 “truthers,” the recent uptick in flat-Earth beliefs, fears of gluten and genetically modified foods, climate change deniers, wars on science on some liberal college campuses, and more. Even the desire to be fashionable can be seen as a response to the fear of being excluded.

Simple mathematical equations can quite elegantly describe the speed, duration and extensiveness of the spread of beliefs and behaviors. A typical “diffusion model” shows how the penetration through a population of such things as beliefs, behaviors, illnesses, innovations or products is determined by just a few parameters. These typically include the group’s size, the density of its members’ interconnections and the inherent contagiousness of the thing being spread.

Irrational beliefs, and the often ill-considered responses they engender, can spread like an infection across groups as large as nations or as small as nuclear families. Sunshine, as they say, is the best disinfectant. Social impact theory would suggest that the best approach to administering social disinfectant is via large numbers of geographically nearby, authoritative nonbelievers.

In the case of the supposed sonic attacks in Cuba, one approach to stemming the scare would be a rapidly deployed on-site investigation by acoustic experts, neurologists, psychiatrists and military strategists. A folklorist as well wouldn’t hurt. Short of such a full-frontal counterattack, disseminating easy-to-digest skeptical information as early as possible in the process would help to slow the diffusion process and quell the mass delusion.

It’s easy enough to be caught up in a mass delusion. Fads and fashions are great examples, though their most harmful consequence may be our embarrassment when we look back on some of our previous style choices. As long as people are stressed and living in groups, most of our mass delusions will remain invisible to us until they have already run their course.

Barry Markovsky does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

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racingtoaredlight · 7 years ago

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Opening Bell: July 7, 2017

President Donald Trump is in Hamburg, Germany for a meeting of the G-20, the world’s 20 most industrialized nations. Yesterday, he gave a speech in which he blamed Russia for much of the destabilization taking place in Europe and abroad and reaffirmed the United States’ commitment to NATO; something which he pointedly failed to do during his first foreign policy speech abroad in May. The president also warned that western values continue to be threatened by terrorism and, presumably, the refugee crisis that it creates. Unlike previous presidential speeches, however, the values Trump stressed were of social and cultural ones, not principles of democratic governance. This might seem like nitpicking, and at some level it probably is, but it is nonetheless striking given that many democratically elected leaders in Europe, especially eastern Europe, have decried the loss of culture through the emigration of refugees to their borders. Anytime a political leader makes a distinction between cultural and political values, it also signifies the possibility that one notion can override the other.

On the sidelines of the G-20 meetings, Trump is expected to meet with several European leaders, including Russian President Vladimir Putin for the first time. David Nakamura of the Washington Post has a fascinating dive into what it is like to meet and negotiate with Vladimir Putin in person. While both Putin and Trump are forceful personalities, Nakamura highlights key differences, notably that Putin is not given over to theatrics in private that Trump is, and is in fact mild-mannered and even soft-spoken while he tallies up a litany of complaints he has for the foreign leader he is meeting with. Former Obama administration diplomat Steven Pifer gives five tips for Trump to follow in his first meeting with the Russian president.

Meanwhile, the president had strong words for North Korea three days after the hermit-nation successfully tested its first Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM). Trump warned of “pretty severe consequences” in North Korea did not back off of testing long range missiles. What these consequences might be, however, is unclear. Further sanctions are said to have broad support within the UN Security Council, though if Trump does not moderate his comments about North Korea, Russia or China could exercise their veto of any resolution which targets Pyongyang with further sanctions. The other possibility would appear to be military action of some type. While virtually no one is in favor of all out war with Kim Jong Un, even the possibility of surgical strikes which specifically target the nation’s nuclear testing and production sites could have grave consequences of their own. Foreign Policy examines, by looking at past episodes, why even trying to kill Kim Jong Un himself is incredibly problematic. And even if such an attempt was successful, there is no guarantee that the Korean People’s Army would lay down their arms, nor is there any notion of how North Korea would be ruled in the aftermath of a successful conflict.

In Venezuela this week, a group of approximately 150 supporters of President Nicolas Maduro forced their way into the congressional chamber and attacked with pipes and clubs legislators who oppose Maduro. The opposition won control of the national congress in 2015 in an election which was largely seen as a rebuke of Maduro’s leadership, however rather than work with the congress, Maduro has painted them as traitors to the nation. Pro-Maduro gangs called “colectivos” roam the city, often at the direction of police, looking for anti-government protestors to attack. This was the first time, however, that one of the colectivos broke into a government building and physically assaulted elected representatives. Nearly 100 people have been killed in what is now the fourth month of open protests and demonstrations against the Maduro regime. Venezuela’s economy and political system are barely functioning at this point and with the continued unrest throughout the nation, a positive outcome is looking increasingly remote, with civil war a distinct possibility.

Back in the United States, House Majority Whip Rep. Steve Scalise (R-La) was readmitted to the ICU at MedStar Washington. The hospital downgraded his condition from “fair” to “serious” and said that a serious infection was the reason for the move. Scalise has undergone a number of surgeries in the three weeks since he was shot on a baseball field in Alexandria, Virginia, and the infection is thought to be a side effect of those surgeries.

Yesterday, Walter Schaub resigned as Director of the Office of Government Ethics. Schaub was one of the first government officials to tangle with the incoming Trump administration when in January he declared that Trump’s failure to fully divest himself of his business, the Trump Organizations, to be “inadequate.” Schaub’s term as director was due to end next year, so his sudden resignation is somewhat surprising. Schaub, who will join a non-profit think tank, insisted that his resignation was voluntary and that he had not experienced any pressure from the White House. Schaub’s last day in office will be July 19. President Donald Trump will nominate Schaub’s successor in an appointment which is certain to be closely-watched.

The CDC published a report this week which found that opioid prescriptions decreased by 13.1 percent between 2012 and 2015, the first such decrease since opioids became widely used as painkillers in the 1990s. The rate of prescription, however, is still three times higher than it was in 1999 and far outpaces such prescriptions in European nations. The over-prescription and subsequent abuse of the highly addictive and powerful painkillers during the 1990s and 2000s, is largely blamed for the rise of a black market for opioid medications and in the resurgence in heroin throughout the United States. The cost of caring for individuals who overdose on opioids has grown to such levels that small towns, which have proportionally smaller budgets for emergency services, are considering steps to curb the amount of assistance given to those who overdose.

Eighteen state attorneys general plus the District of Columbia filed suit in federal court this week in response to an order by Education Secretary Betsy DeVos in June which suspended changes to a program which allowed students to go after higher education institutions which induced them to borrow exorbitant loans through fraud or deceit. The program has been in existence since the 1990s, but the Obama administration promulgated changes to the program which would simplify the process and shift more of the cost of disposing of the loans onto the schools themselves. These changes were to go into effect July 1, but DeVos, citing the need to defend the Department against a lawsuit by a group of for-profit schools in California first, halted the changes before they could go into effect. Many of the students affected attended for-profit institutions where they were coerced into signing loan applications and promissory notes without understanding the amount they were borrowing, what the terms were, or how those loans were to be applied to their higher education costs.

In one of the more bizarre stories of the week, arts-and-crafts store Hobby Lobby entered into a settlement with federal prosecutors after it was discovered to have purchased thousands of clay and stone artifacts from Iraq for $1.6 million in 2010 and 2011. Hobby Lobby has agreed to surrender all of the artifacts to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement and pay a $3 million fine as part of the settlement. The exact identity of the dealers whom Hobby Lobby dealt with were never ascertained by the company. The company decided to proceed with the sale despite the only indication of their origin being mentioned as “purchased at markets in the 1960s” or from a “private family collection.” It is easy to criticize Hobby Lobby here, but this genuinely seems to have been the actions of individuals in the company who did not properly understand the nature, or perils, of purchasing artifacts from this part of the world.

This week, Chinese-owned Swedish carmaker Volvo announced that, starting in 2019, all new vehicle models would be electric-powered. Volvo will continue to manufacture gas and diesel powered cars, but after 2019 will place less emphasis on doing so and, presumably, as gas and diesel models are discontinued, they will not be replaced with similar models. This has the potential to be a watershed moment in manufacturing in general and the auto industry in particular; no major, legacy carmaker has pledged to end production of cars powered by internal combustion engines.

In the past 18 months, a series of scandals have slowly enveloped the Marine Corps basic training facility at Parris Island, South Carolina. The Marines, widely considered the most conservative branch of the military—and the most resistant to change—pride themselves on tough training and discipline, but New York Times Magazine’s Janet Reitman takes a deep dive into training at the training at Parris Island, where a culture of hazing and physical abuse seems to prevail, long after such practices were banned by all branches of the armed forces. This is an intense read.

Alan Abramowitz of the Center for Politics looks at the 2018 midterm election by noting that Democrats, right now, have an advantage in the generic ballot test for congressional candidates, and then conducts a statistic analysis of what this advantage means, and what it does not.

Finally, Stuart Rothenberg looks at how the GOP’s continued push for a repeal and replacement of the Affordable Care Act—or Obamacare if you prefer—becomes politically riskier with each passing week.

Welcome to the weekend.

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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The 8 Most Common Narc-Sadistic Conversation Control Tactics

Do you often engage in conversations with your narcissist that leave you feeling like you were talking to a brick wall or worse, maybe leave you feeling like banging your head against a brick wall? Perhaps, it has even crossed your mind that you would have been better off conversing with a brick wall because the wall would have more capacity of providing understanding, validation, and empathy than the narcissist in your life!

Real life conversations with a narcissist are exhausting, dizzying, nerve-racking, and make you feel like youre going crazy or at least drive a compassionate person to question their own reality, and even their sanity at times. The circular conversations leave you feeling worse off than if you had never had them in the first place. You begin to blame yourself, doubt your instincts and wonder what the heck is going on?

REVERSE PROJECTION

Before we realize the truth about the narcissist in our lives, we relate to them as if they are normal human beings possessing a conscience, integrity and some degree of self-awareness. We trust their words because we dont deceive and manipulate people and trust that the people who claim to love us will do the same. We give them the benefit of the doubt because we believe they truly love no one who truly loves us would purposely say or do anything to hurt our feelings and us. We are in essence projecting our good qualities on to them, and when they dont respond the way we expect a normal person would, we become confused and hurt, question our reality and believe we must be to blame in some way. The problem is that narcissists dont think, operate or play by the same rules as us, and our failing to recognize this sets us up for manipulation and misery by default.

Conversations with a narcissist, especially if you hold opinions about anything that contradict with their opinion of what is the gospel truth, are jam-packed with a barrage of covert manipulation tactics that are intrinsic to the narcissist and entrenched in their personality. They will make you wish you never disagreed with them in the first place and regret that you had ever dared to express your point of view. A simple disagreement will often incite a full-fledged attack on you. Somehow, they manage to twist the conservation, so you wind up feeling like the bad guy/girl, while they assume the role of the innocent victim of you.

CONVERSATIONS ARE NOT CONVERSATIONS; THEY ARE VERBAL COMPETITIONS

When you challenge your narcissists lies, discrepancies, and groundless accusations; suggest that they are less than perfect; try to get them to understand your point of view; confront them on their cruel behaviors; or approach them about the lack of reciprocity in the relationship, the discussion will likely decay into a crazy-making, chaotic, drama packed, mind-spinning, migraine induced headache that is intended to wear you down and punish you for suggesting or exposing a fact that doesnt support their grandiose view of themselves or maintain their need to feel superior and all mighty.

Narcissists never enter into conversations. They enter into verbal competitions. Their goal is to win at all costs. They have no interest in seeking understanding, clarification or compromise, or in reaching a meeting of the minds. Their conversations are only meant to manipulate, confuse, control, destabilize, deflect accountability, cast doubt, distort reality and create drama.

ENABLERS AND TONGUE BITERS

Narcissists only surround themselves with people who are either so charmed by them that they blindly believe every word they say is true or people who have learned that its easier to keep their mouths shut rather than reap the wrath of expressing an opposing opinion.

Anyone in a narcissists life that doesnt fall into one of the two categories of Enablers or Tongue Biters will certainly be given the boot. But first the narcissist will discipline you with their collection of manipulation tactics, so when they do give you the boot, you will be sure to go out believing the reasons for your dismissal were all your fault.

HERE ARE THE 8 MOST COMMON CONVERSATION MANIPULATION TACTICS

1. TOPIC SWITCHEROO

Heres how this works. You and your narcissist are in the middle of a conversation; its going well until you disagree or present facts that contradict the narcissists point of view. The narcissist knows that your facts are indisputable and you have the upper-hand, so to gain control of the conversation and win the argument, the narcissist will deviate into a tangent of verbal vomit attempting to hoodwink you and pull the ole topic switcheroo. Before you know it, youre discussing something totally unrelated to the original conversation, and you find yourself in defensive mode about some issue the two of you disagreed on last year.

2. THE BLAME GAME

Blame shifting is usually a tactic used subsequently to the Topic Switcheroo. The narcissist, like a magician, successfully changes the topic and diverts your attention by pointing the finger at you, and you suddenly find yourself on the defensive end of the conversation stick. The narcissist will raise questions about any and all of your real or perceived faults and pummel you. You, in turn, instinctively defend yourself, and the narcissist, just like Houdini, makes the original topic of their bad behavior disappear and escapes having to take any accountability for their actions. Meanwhile, youre tricked into taking on the defensive position and accused and blamed for creating problems and drama in the relationship.

3. PROJECTION

Hypocrisy is the narcissists middle name. What they say and do when no one is watching is drastically different from what they say and do in the presence of others. Since they are all about maintaining their false persona they use projection to rid the unwanted traits in their character. But since they are the emotional equivalent of a five-year-old, they magically disown the parts of themselves that reflect negatively on their personas and accuse you of the exact things theyre guilty of doing. Did you ever notice how they will accuse the most generous person of being selfish or having a hidden agenda behind their generosity? The most honest person is accused of being a liar. Their faithful partner is accused of cheating? The narcissists projections are really confessions that reveal what the narcissist is guilty of and/ or believes about himself/herself.

In contrast, emotionally healthy people dont use projection when theyre on the defensive. When and if they resort to character assignation, their comments more closely resemble the truth and tend to resemble slander. Not the outright lies that characterize projection.

4. TURNING UP THE VOLUME

When narcissists act with a disproportionate amount of anger or rage by increasing the volume and tempo of their voice, you can bet that theyre trying to shock and bully you. Their actions are an absolute declaration of psychological warfare. Their increased volume is a ploy to get to you to back off. The sudden, shocking, cruel and disproportionate attack is an offensive maneuver aimed to destabilize, confuse and intimidate you. When youre under attack and in a state of shock, your defenses naturally become weakened. The stress of being attacked and yelled at decreases your mental acuity and leaves you open to suggestion. As a result, your weakened state renders you less of an intellectual threat to the narcissists need for control and dominance.

5. PLAYING THE VICTIM

There is much truth in the quote, Deceits favorite role is playing the victim. Its no wonder why when the narcissist isnt playing the role of the hero, he/she is playing the role poor victim. Through garnering pity, narcissists will play the victim, while vilifying the real victim, as a way of concealing their abusive behavior and avoid taking responsibility for their cruel and deceitful actions. Narcissists capitalize on the compassion of others and exploit their sympathy in any way they can, depending upon what their goal is at the time. If the narcissist doesnt want to keep a promise and you become upset, your feelings wont be validated; there will be no apology or display of empathy. Instead, the narcissist will get angry at you for being upset and blame you for your lack of empathy in not considering that they may be having a bad week, stress at work or so on.

You will be labeled selfish or accused of being needy or demanding for expecting the poor narcissist to honor his/her word. However, if you have a bad week, dont expect to receive the same treatment. The narcissist will expect you to keep your promise and will minimize and invalidate your feelings by portraying themselves as the victim. The narcissist will always one-up you by reciting a litany of reasons why their week was so much worse than yours or lecture you on how your life is so much easier than theirs, and so on. Whatever you can do, they can do better. Whatever bad thing happened to you, something worse happened to them.

6. GAS-LIGHTING

Gas-lighting is a form of psychological abuse so insidious that many articles have been written about it. Narcissists use this tactic in conversations by purposely altering or not sharing information and replacing it with false information. This tactic is designed to systematically dismantle the victims ability to trust their own judgement and undermine their confidence to the point where they begin to doubt their own memories and judgements, thus rendering them highly suggestible to the narcissists opinion.

For example, a narcissist may casually but consistently suggest how their memory is superior to yours, especially if you ever admit to being forgetful about anything. They may even go so far as hiding or rearranging your belongings, intentionally tricking you into believing your memory is faulty. Then when a difference in opinion arises or you expose a discrepancy in their story, the narcissist, with absolute conviction, will use your faulty memory as evidence to make you doubt what you heard or saw and second guess yourself, causing you to ultimately accept the narcissists rendition of the truth.

7. INTERRUPTING

Narcissists are notorious conversation interrupters. They love to be the center of attention and control the focus of the conversation. They have no interest in having a two-way discussion with you. If you dare attempt to get a word in edge-wise or make your point of view heard, if it at all contradicts the narcissists point of view, your opinion will most likely be ignored or dismissed. While many people with ADHD and other mental disorders struggle with problems of poor impulsivity or poor communication and often interrupt others, the narcissist intentionally interrupts to redirect the focus of the conversation back to themselves since they believe their opinions are superior and correct, and that whatever they say should be accepted as the gospel truth.

They genuinely have zero interest in hearing other peoples viewpoints or reaching compromises or win/win solutions to disagreements. They have a my way or the highway frame of mind and interrupting allows them to control the conversation and manage it in a direction that parallels their point of view and agenda. By monopolizing the conversation, they exert their control and avoid taking responsibility or addressing important issues. In their minds, their ability to dominate conversations confirms their superiority.

8. THE SILENT-TREATMENT

The silent treatment is probably one of the most common forms of emotional abuse used by narcissists when all the above tactics have been tried and have failed. Narcissists use the silent treatment as a form of punishment for not acquiescing to their point of view or as the way to gain the upper hand and control in their relationships. Its also a way to avoid discussing important issues in the relationship and avoid taking accountability for their wrong-doings. When a narcissist uses the silent treatment, they will do it in a way that is so out of proportion to the situation. Narcissists will also tend to demand a perfectly delivered apology. If the apology is not said correctly or in the right way, the narcissists will extend the length of the silent treatment. By demanding a perfectly delivered apology, narcissists confirm their dominance and support their exaggerated importance.

The silent treatment is intended to make the victim feel completely unloved, invalidated and insignificant. The use of the silent treatment is usually about control. Sometimes the narcissist will use the silent treatment just to assess the amount of control they have over people. Often, it will be used as a tactic to create distance and free up space to engage in infidelity or pursue new admirers. Victims are left feeling destroyed, as the silent treatment kills any possibility of reconciliation.

THE SEARCH FOR ANSWERS

The many people whove been expelled from the narcissists life know there is something terribly wrong with the narcissist. However, many of them never bothered or cared enough to connect the dots and define the craziness they were subjected to.

But for those who have had intimate relationships with a narcissist for any length of time, it almost becomes an unsettling necessity to search for answers and put the pieces together to restore their equilibrium and unearth the reality of the absolute insanity that had become their normal existence.

This is what drives most former partners of narcissists to hit the internet and actively Google the WHY DID questions for example: Why did my partner always think they were right? Why did my mother never apologize? Why did my spouse always give me the silent treatment? Why did my sibling always make me feel like I was to blame? Why did my perfect partner change?

ITS ALWAYS SUNNY ABOVE THE CLOUDS

Their Google search queries lead them to articles about narcissism and narcissistic traits. Survivors voraciously ingest the massive amounts of information permeating the world-wide web. The descriptions are so eerily accurate that if they didnt know better, they would swear the articles were written about their relationship. The precision in which the articles depict their relationships, from the golden beginnings right down to the horrid end, to the t becomes the indisputable validation that precipitates the cloud of confusion to dissipate, allowing enlightenment to illuminate the truth of their situation with profound clarity. No, narcissism is not limited to vanity or arrogance, as they originally believed. It is so much more pathological and insidious than they could have ever imagined; and even worse, there is no cure.

Gradually, through their research, they realize that the narcissist never really loved them or anyone for that matter, as narcissists are wholly incapable of love and devoid of a conscience. Survivors slowly accept that the person they were in love with was just a faade and never really existed. Finally, this awareness forces them to mourn the loss of three people, only amplifying and adding to their grief. First, they must mourn the loss of the person they loved who never really existed. Second, they must mourn the loss of the person they believed their narcissist had the potential to be. Third, they must mourn the loss of their identity that had been eclipsed under the crushing weight of the imbalance and inequity of their relationship.

THE LENSES OF AWARENESS

Terms they had never heard of before like love bombing, future faking, false-self, idealization, devaluation, projection, gaslighting, smear campaign, flying monkeys, cognitive dissonance, and triangulation become part of the survivors regular vocabulary. Sadly, they become more adept at explaining the definitions of these terms than most mental health professionals because they are not just terms learned through memorization, but rather words learned through painful, real-life experiences.

Their new-found vocabulary becomes powerfully liberating as they finally offer a palpable term to explain the insanity that once was their reality, but that they were previously at a loss for words to describe. They grow so knowledgeable about the subject of narcissism and traits of NPD; they deserve to earn honorary doctorate degrees in the subject.

The crazy-making conversations of the past start to make more sense through the new lenses of awareness. Survivors begin to finally be able to put the finger on and pin-point the emotional abuse they suffered but failed to perceive was abuse at the time. The layers of blame, guilt, doubt, confusion and uncertainty of their reality that had tormented them start to erode, as they recognize that the layers were deliberately and deceptively deposited onto them by their narcissist. This is the pivotal point, where recovery from narcissistic abuse begins.

Without awareness and education about narcissistic abuse, the chances that a survivor will end up in another abusive relationship are infinitely higher. Emotional abuse is as devastating as any other kind of abuse. Its intentional and malicious exploitation and manipulation of the heart, soul, spirit, mind, and often the wallet of another human-being, cloaked in counterfeit expressions of love and concern.