#although there were not many nerd like qualities in him

[ringosmistress]

[thatfeelinwhenyou]

SMOKE SCREENS & CIGARETTES — part one

#1 - The Two Worlds

Lee Heeseung is always known as the quiet boy in class. Although his popularity in school would suggest otherwise, he is never viewed as the rebellious or partying type. In fact, he is the kind of student who reminds the teacher about pending assignments just as the lesson is about to conclude. Simply put, Lee Heeseung fits the stereotype of a nerd—at least, that's the version of him you are accustomed to.

So, when you unexpectedly encounter him at a club in another city during your summer break, his hair, now sporting green highlights, is slicked back instead of covering his eyes as it typically does on campus. He has multiple metal studs hanging from his earlobe, but above all, he seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself, dancing, drinking, and smoking without inhibition. Needless to say, you are taken aback.

While it's not uncommon for an overage university student to be partying during their vacation, this is Lee Heeseung we're talking about. The last thing you'd expect is to see him in Club Dark Moon, one hand holding a glass of some intoxicating liquid, and the other wrapped around the waist of a girl who appears to be of similar age to yourself.

This is the same Lee Heeseung who never knows when to take a hint in class, always finding an opportunity to correct the teacher. The Lee Heeseung who never fails to maintain perfect posture throughout 3-hour long lectures. The Lee Heeseung who becomes unresponsive and distant when the conversation veers away from academic topics. The Lee Heeseung who secretly envies you because you embody everything he isn't.

Now, in the flesh, is The Lee Heeseung embodying everything you thought he wasn't.

You are popular yourself, considering your extroverted and altruistic nature; you are popular because you know how to party. Lee Heeseung is popular because he is a quiet and smart kid yet has a mysterious aura that makes him so god damn attractive. The two of you are complete polar opposites, each other's antonyms, and while possessing many contradictory qualities, you are actually similar to one another in many ways that don't meet the eye.

You frequently attend the weekly Friday night parties hosted by the university fraternities. And with each step you take, you effortlessly command the attention of every person present, your magnetic presence impossible to ignore. Everybody yearns to be in your orbit; guys want you, while girls admire your confidence and charisma, secretly wishing to be you. Your friends eagerly drag you to every party down the block, basking in the reflected glow of being associated with The Y/L/N Y/N—a name synonymous with popularity and social prowess.

Despite the overwhelming amount of attention you receive throughout your undergraduate career, a persistent sense of unease gnaws at you as you find yourself grappling with a profound sense of disconnection. While externally you seamlessly blend into the pulsating dynamic of university life, internally, you’re like a solitary figure navigating a sea of expectations and obligations. You fit in, but at the same time, you don’t.

You always think that maybe you're just stressed out with assignment deadlines. Well, clearly, since you’re partying when you should be working on the next paragraph of your final year thesis. If only the answer were as simple as that.

No, you're not stressed. You just simply do not belong to the party life. However, as the nights blur into days and the days into weeks, you begin to feel the weight of societal expectations pressing down on you, particularly the burden of being labelled as the "popular kid." And popular kids always arrive fashionably late to every party. Popular kids are the lives of the party. Popular kids are party animals.

By the time you noticed your desolation, you're already too far gone, you've convinced yourself that this is your life and all you have to do is suck it up. This label of being the “popular kid” becomes both a mantle of honour and a burden to bear, as you struggle within the confines of a stereotype that fails to encapsulate the complexity of your identity.

You're constantly trying to squeeze yourself into the mould of expectations that your peers have so delicately carved out for you, that you often find yourself questioning the authenticity of your existence, wondering if the façade of popularity is worth sacrificing yourself. Your true self.

And that's being the ambitious and studious girl you always were and still are. You would rather stay at home and finish writing your 100-page psychological analysis on 'Social Cognition and Perception', or finish reading the third volume of the 'Persuasion, Propaganda, and Marketing' trilogy. Hell, you would even rather do a mountain of chores than attend another frat party.

Though you long to share your intellectual passions with your friends, you hesitate, aware that their interests lie elsewhere. They’re in it for the social society life, effortlessly navigating sorority events and basking in the glow of admiration that comes with being in your inner social circle. Yet, beneath their carefree façade, they remain oblivious to the dedication and diligence required to maintain your impeccable grades. Only assuming that you’re a natural-born beauty and brains.

It’s your last break before your final semester and you are thrilled as you eagerly plan your to-do list over the summer break. Maybe learn to play the guitar, go on a hike, or finally start reading that fiction book you had put off for months. You envision checking it all off before the final semester begins. However, your plans are unexpectedly put on hold when your friends suggest a pre-graduation chalet trip to a province northeast of Seoul.

This trip marks your first time travelling outside of the city, and it's with your adventurous, somewhat reckless friends. The decision is made hastily, with everything arranged at the eleventh hour. Your friends unanimously agree to simply "go with the flow," as Yunjin puts it.

Unfortunately for you, your meticulous personality type craves structure and detailed planning, and you are only able to feel at ease if you have an itinerary to follow.

Hence, it’s not a surprise that you were apprehensive about embarking on this trip. You even considered skipping the excursion altogether. Except that wouldn't be fitting for a popular kid, would it? Popular kids should be laid-back and adaptable, they should be going with the flow too, they do not need people telling them what to do should listen and act on what people expect of them.

"Y/N! We're leaving in 5 minutes, will you be ready soon?" Chaewon barges into your room in the Airbnb that the four of you share. Despite your reluctance, you plaster on your flawless façade and smile. "Yes, yes, I'm ready. So impatient as always," you half-jokingly roll your eyes, relieved that Chaewon doesn't catch the genuine hesitation in your tone.

It’s not that you dislike your friends or anything; in fact, you're grateful that they're the most genuine people you've met at university. Unlike most students who sacrifice their integrity to gain favour, your friends are refreshingly candid about their opinions of you. While you and Chaewon didn't hit it off at first, now you're practically two peas in a pod. Yet, it doesn't change the fact that you've become a puppet catering to your friends' partying whims.

As you gaze into the mirror, you confront a version of yourself that you yourself could barely recognise. The person you once were—vibrant, authentic, and unapologetically yourself—has become obscured beneath layers of societal expectations and peer pressure. Still, it wouldn’t be the first time choosing to pretend the girl in the mirror is you, because what’s another day of grinding up your confidence and making it a meal that would last you an hour at best?

So, you do what you do best—picking out the skimpiest dress you own, spraying on your most testosterone-provoking perfume, and drawing a cat-eye sharp enough to kill anyone who dares to meet your gaze.

You settle into the passenger seat of the taxi while your three friends squeeze into the back. Your first destination is Club Dark Moon, one of the province's most popular and bustling nightclubs. The bouncer checks your IDs and ushers you inside, the scene unfolding just as you anticipated for a Friday night.

The dance floor is packed, with male and female dancers taking their positions on mini-stages scattered around the room. The air is thick with the scent of alcohol mixed with hours of piled-up perspiration, nearly causing you to visibly gag. Nevertheless, you force a smile despite the prospect of being pressed up against complete strangers, moving to the beat in a tango of privacy invasion.

"Hey! You guys made it!" Jay calls out from the private booth you reserved earlier in the week. Despite the night still being relatively young, the table is already littered with empty bottles of cheap alcohol, the kind that debt-induced university students can afford. Almost immediately, Yunjin prances over to the booth and squeezes herself between Jay and Sunghoon, swiftly downing a glass of whatever leftover alcohol was in it before you even reach them.

"PSA: I will not be the one babysitting her and dragging her vomit-covered body back to the Airbnb later tonight," Sakura declares, promptly supported by Chaewon, leaving you designated as tonight's caretaker.

"Hey," you greet the two boys, though your attention remains fixed on Yunjin, who just finished another drink. Sunghoon appears to notice your distressed complexion, grasping your wrist and gently turning you to face him. "You look like you need to unwind tonight. Don't worry, we'll take care of her," he reassures you, his tone of voice having some sort of soothing effect on you.

Honestly, you'd be perfectly content not drinking much tonight anyway, but dealing with a drunken Yunjin is... a whole other challenge. Grateful, you offer Sunghoon a smile and a pat on the back before heading to the dance floor to do what you do best—put on a show.

It doesn't take long before you find yourself on one of the mini-stages, the effects of a few drinks starting to kick in just as expected. The strap of your black mini-dress slips off your shoulder, and the hem rides up your thigh, possibly revealing whatever’s underneath to the crowd. Once again, you're the centre of attention, and you're used to it. The predatory stares you receive start to feel unsettling, but what can you do? You were made for this exact moment.

Sakura joins you on stage, and together, you put on an electrifying performance, dancing against each other, feeling the heat of her body pressed against yours. At one point, she even buries her face in the crook of your neck, pretending to plant kisses on your shoulder. It’s not long before you notice your vision slowly becoming hazy from the combination of body heat and the alcohol being pushed on you by your friends.

You're aware that you've crossed the boundary between sober to tipsy, and continuing at this pace will likely leave you nursing a migraine on the floor of your Airbnb tomorrow morning. You’re also aware that another glass of alcohol would only blur your senses further, and you're about to call it quits when you catch sight of a familiar face dancing across the club.

"Is that Lee Heeseung?" you mutter to yourself, Sakura noticing your distraction. "Hey, you okay? We can take a breather if you're not feeling well," she whispers just loud enough for you to hear, receiving a reassuring nod from you. She then proceeds to take your hand as you carefully manoeuvre your way downstage, your gaze still fixed on the figure you assume is Heeseung.

"Y/N! You killed it up there!" Jay's voice booms across the club, announcing it to literally every single soul in the goddamn club. Before you know it, they're chanting your name, urging you to return to the stage as if you were some caged animal in a zoo performing tricks and stunts for onlookers.

Heeseung seems to catch wind of the commotion, his ears perking up at the familiar name. He turns around, locking eyes with you, his expression betraying a hint of surprise, as if he's been caught red-handed, doing something he wasn’t supposed to.

"Lee Heeseung?" you mouth his name, and that's his signal to make a swift exit. He hands his cup to the girl he was grinding onto moments ago and practically bolts through the emergency exit. By now, the cheers from the crowd around you have faded into the background. Excusing yourself, you navigate through the crowd until you reach the other side of the emergency exit, where you come face to face with none other than Lee Heeseung himself.

"Who the fuck are you?" you gawk, taking in his unusual attire as you scan him from head to toe. His eyes, now visible without glasses, appear larger than you remembered. His hair is styled back with faded green streaks in them, and gosh is that a tattoo on his chest? Who the hell is this guy?

"You already know, so why ask?" he retorts, raising his eyebrows, wrinkles creasing on his exposed forehead. "Wow, that's a record for the most words you've ever spoken to me," you quip sarcastically, realising perhaps it wasn't the best idea as he responds with a deadpan expression.

"So... you're into the party scene, huh?" you awkwardly probe, feeling thrown off by this unexpected version of Lee Heeseung standing before you.

"That's none of your business," he replies curtly. What you don't know is that the Heeseung standing in front of you is the real Heeseung, a side he's managed to conceal for most of his university career, until now, when you've downright busted him.

"What are you doing around here?" you awkwardly attempt at conversation, receiving minimal response from him. "My grandparents live nearby. I'm visiting for the break," you nod at his response, trying to come up with something to say to keep the conversation going, but to no avail. All you can do is stand there, fidgeting with the hem of your dress, when Heeseung pulls out a cigarette from his jeans pocket and offers it to you, which you decline.

He then proceeds to light it between his lips. You watch in genuine surprise, your eyebrows raising slightly at the sight of him smoking. It's unexpected, especially considering Heeseung's role as a student ambassador, a proclaimed role model for freshmen and prospective students.

The very same influential figure stands before you, with a cigarette between his teeth. You're taken aback, your mind trying to reconcile this new information as it's a stark contrast to the persona you've always known him to portray.

"You... smoke?" you ask, unable to hide your astonishment.

"Casual smoker. It's not that big of a deal," he shrugs, his tone nonchalant as he exhales a puff of smoke into the hot summer air.

"Yeah, not when you literally rebutted how people who resort to nicotine were just, verbatim, 'losers who are unable to get their lives together, so they look for an alternative to escape from reality,'" you quote him from a discussion your class had a couple of months ago during your psychology lecture on the topic of 'coping mechanisms.'

"Never said I wasn't one of them," he shrugs, turning to look at you. His doe eyes seem to be trying to send you a telepathic message, and you find yourself captivated by their intensity. You're struck by a mixture of surprise and intrigue, wondering what led him to this moment of contradiction. You simply nod in response, not because you don't have anything to say, as a matter of fact your mind is racing, but because his intimidating yet attractive demeanour has rendered you completely speechless.

It's no secret that Lee Heeseung is good-looking, but the scene in front of you suggests he's more than just good-looking. He's hot as fuck, and you can't deny the allure of his rebellious aura. His presence exudes an undeniable magnetism, and you can't help but feel a flutter of butterflies in your stomach.

"Look, you're obviously not getting the memo," he says, taking the cigarette between his fingers. "Can we pretend we never saw each other? You go back to doing whatever you do, and I'll go back to doing mine. Deal?"

You stare at him, uncertain of his intentions. Sure, you could keep a secret or two, and you're confident you would have kept quiet about what you saw even without him asking. But the urgency in his tone makes you wonder: What is Lee Heeseung really hiding? The request feels more like a demand, and you can't shake the feeling that there's more to this encounter than meets the eye.

"Yeah, sure, I can keep it on a hush-hush, but I'm just asking out of curiosity..." you start cautiously, not wanting to push his boundaries. You only finish your sentence when you hear him sigh as if he already knows what you're about to ask.

"Why don't you go around school looking like this more often? I'm pretty sure you'd be way more popular if you didn't have your hair covering your eyes. Your eyes are really pretty, by the way, though I'm sure you've heard that like a thousand times before," you start rambling before you realise it. Heeseung just stares at you, his head tilted to one side, looking stunned, amused even. You can't help but feel a mix of embarrassment and frustration at your own inability to keep your curiosity in check.

"I have a reason for it, though I don't really feel like telling you," he says, taking another puff of the cigarette. This time, he blows the smoke out in your face, adding a touch of defiance to his response. The mainstream smoke formed a screen almost intentionally between you and him, a subtle barrier signalling that the two of you are from different worlds, enjoying different luxuries. You nod, taking the hint that he doesn't want you pushing any further than you already have.

"Well, if you're ever out and about again, you know who to call," you say, trying to inject a note of lightness into the atmosphere. Heeseung raises his brow, unsure of what you're implying.

"They don't call me the party queen for no reason," you wink, turning your back towards him, ready to stroll back into the club—back into your world.

As if the universe is toying with you, you start running into Heeseung more frequently than you would prefer at school. You saw him around campus before your little encounter over the summer break, but you never recall being so hyper-aware of his presence until now. Every time you catch sight of him, your heart skips a beat, and a rush of mixed emotions—curiosity, anxiety, even a bit of excitement—floods over you.

It's not that you're avoiding him; you just can't look at him the same way. The fact that you're hiding a life-changing secret (to him at least) makes you extremely cautious walking around campus. You feel a strange sense of responsibility, almost protectiveness, and it weighs heavily on your mind. You can't help but tense up whenever his name comes up in conversations with your friends, afraid that someone might notice your unease and start asking questions you aren't prepared to answer.

"You know if you keep acting so strange whenever we so much as breathe the same air, your friends are gonna start asking questions," Heeseung says, creeping up behind you while you're searching for research materials for your thesis in the library.

"Holy fuck! You scared the shit out of me. Please don't do that again," you whisper-shout, trying to keep your volume down as you notice students around shooting you annoyed gazes, disturbed by your sudden shriek. "What are you doing here?"

"The library is a property of Decelis University, and I'm a student. What do you think?" he responds with a smirk, clearly enjoying your flustered reaction. His casual demeanour only adds to your flustered state. You can't help but feel irritated at his nonchalance but also admiration for the way he carries himself so effortlessly.

"Do you always have to answer in such an arrogant manner?" you ask, and he chuckles. It's the first time you've heard him laugh, and you find yourself oddly captivated by his straight, pearly white teeth. Once again, you catch yourself noticing another feature of his that you never really paid attention to in the past.

"Besides, where else would you find a nerd? The llibrary is basically my second home," he adds with a smug look on his face. Oh, how you wish you could rip that expression off his face. You mumble softly, but just loud enough for him to hear, "You're intolerable," before turning your attention back to the rows of books in front of you.

"Seriously though, you have to stop being so awkward," Heeseung teases, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"I am not awkward," you retort, rolling your eyes and continuing to scan the shelves for any knowledgeable book titles so you can get out of there and away from him as soon as possible. The proximity to him is unnerving, making your heart race in a way that frustrates you.

"You so are!" Heeseung ruffles your hair almost as if it’s the most natural reaction for him. His touch is surprisingly gentle, and it sends a shiver down your spine.

"I don't recall us being that close..." you comment, trying to straighten out the hair he had so rudely messed up. Your fingers tremble slightly as you fix your hair, the unexpected intimacy of the gesture lingering.

"Ouch, I guess it was all one-sided all along," Heeseung says, clutching his chest as if he’s been shot. His dramatic antics are so out of character for the reserved student ambassador you thought you knew, and you can't help but let out a small giggle at how goofy he looks.

You never imagined that Lee Heeseung, known to be overzealous, would be standing in front of you right now, showing this playful and relaxed side of himself that he had bottled up for so long. It's a side of him that only you have the privilege to witness, and it makes you question everything you thought you knew about him.

You wonder what other facets of his character he’s hiding and why he’s chosen to reveal this side to you now. All because you know his little alter ego? Unlikely—you’ve already assured him you wouldn’t tell. Because he wants to uncover a secret of yours so that he'd have something against you too? Probably.

The thought makes your stomach twist. Is he trying to level the playing field, to make sure you both have something to lose? The idea unsettles you, but you can't deny the intrigue it stirs. What would he want to know about you? And more importantly, what are you willing to reveal?

You shake your head slightly, trying to clear your thoughts. The library’s quiet atmosphere suddenly feels charged with unspoken tension. You glance at Heeseung, who’s watching you with a knowing look, a slight smirk still playing on his lips. There’s a challenge in his eyes, a silent dare that both excites and unnerves you.

As much as you want to find your books and leave, a part of you wants to stay and uncover more about the enigmatic Heeseung. His duality is captivating, and you feel a pull towards him, an urge to understand the layers beneath his composed exterior. Your mind races with questions, but for now, you allow yourself to enjoy this rare, unguarded moment with him, feeling a bond forming that you never anticipated.

"Well," you finally say, breaking the silence, "if you’re going to keep surprising me like this, I guess I’ll have to get used to it."

Heeseung chuckles softly, his eyes never leaving yours. "I guess you will. And who knows, maybe you’ll surprise me too."

"What are you doing here on a Friday afternoon anyway? Don't you have another party to go to or something?" Heeseung asks, scanning the stack of books on the cart you’ve picked out during your short conversation.

"I do actually, thought I could have a little me time before I get back to it," you reply without much thought. But Heeseung, being... well, Heeseung, immediately analyses your seemingly meaningless words.

"I'd assume you'd be a slave to fame at this point. Never knew the Y/L/N Y/N would appreciate some quiet time," he intentionally probes, hoping to get some sort of reaction out of you. As always, he hits the mark.

"There's a lot about me that you don't know, so don't assume shit about anything," you snap back, surprised by the aggression in your own voice. Before you can apologise, Heeseung does.

"Sorry, that was senseless of me."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. It's just... y'know, the popular girl gets tired and weighed down by all the attention too," you smile at him, but it doesn’t reach your eyes, and Heeseung notices.

"Anyway, I gotta go sort these out," you say, referring to the stack of books. "I'll see you in class." You’re already moving away before Heeseung has the chance to say anything. He only manages to mumble a quiet, "Bye," but he doubts you heard him.

You did.

In class, all you can think about is how, despite the lecture hall being ridiculously spacious, Heeseung still chooses to sit in the seat right in front of you, forcing you to stare at the back of his head throughout the entire lesson. You notice he no longer has the green highlights in his hair and wonder when he dyed it back. You also thought that after the encounter the both of you had in the school library yesterday, he'd be avoiding you too.

So, why did he choose to sit here, right in front of you? Is it a coincidence, or is he trying to send a message? The questions swirl in your mind, each one more unsettling than the last. You try to shake them off, but they cling to you like the smoke from his cigarette.

This class isn’t even compulsory. You signed up for an additional course on music production after developing a minor interest in DJ-ing, thanks to your extensive partying experience. Mostly, though, you took it for the extra credit and the convenient timing—Saturday evenings—giving you a perfect excuse to skip clubbing with your friends.

You were shocked to see Heeseung on the first day of class, especially since you had no idea about his interest in music production. That was before you discovered he was a beast on the dance floor. Now that you know about his little side hustle, it all starts to make more sense.

The professor’s voice drones on, but your mind is elsewhere. You steal glances at Heeseung, who seems completely absorbed in taking notes. You find yourself analysing every detail of his appearance and behaviour. The way his shoulders move as he writes, the occasional tilt of his head, even the subtle way he shifts in his seat.

You remember the way he looked at you in the library, the way he made you feel both exposed and connected. His presence is distracting, making it hard to focus on anything but the mystery he represents. You force yourself to pay attention to the lecture, scribbling down notes and trying to absorb the material. But your thoughts keep drifting back to Heeseung and the strange dynamic that’s developing between you two.

"Alright class, as we approach your final semester at Decelis, the faculty has been observing your work thus far and has paired you up for a final-year project," the professor announces, prompting a chorus of groans, sighs, and a few enthusiastic cheers from the lecture hall. You mentally curse yourself for not reading up on the coursework before applying; you're already overwhelmed with your thesis, and now you have another project to juggle.

"Settle down. Although the result of your work will not directly affect your GPA, you must actually submit this project to pass the course. Any poor quality or late submissions can and will be reflected on your student record," the professor continues, causing another wave of mixed emotions to ripple through the room.

"Now, don't be so discouraged; at least you'll be working in pairs!" The professor tries to lighten the mood, but it doesn't help much since the students aren't even allowed to choose their own partners. "We have paired you up with partners who either have similar working styles or share the same music taste. Hence, we will not be entertaining any requests to switch partners."

"Gosh, it keeps getting worse," the girl beside you mutters, and you silently snicker at her remark. Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, you're blindsided by the professor's announcement of your partner: Lee Heeseung.

Heeseung turns around in his seat, his usual smirk firmly in place. "Looks like we're stuck with each other," he says, a hint of amusement in his voice.

You force a smile. "Yeah, lucky me."

You’re not particularly thrilled about this pairing because working with Heeseung means constantly being schooled and corrected. The worst part is, you probably can’t even refute him because, although he says it in the worst way possible, he’s never wrong.

On the other hand, you are interested to see how he'd tackle a music production project. You know he is more of a textbook learner, so when yours and Heeseung's names slip out of the professor's mouth in the same sentence, you are curious—excited even—to witness another side of Lee Heeseung that he's never shown to anyone.

Part of you even hopes you'd be paired up with him because you want to talk to him privately without students walking past and giving the two of you weird or judgmental looks. Of course, they would stare; you belong in completely different pigeonholes.

After the lesson is dismissed, you take the chance to talk to him. "Heeseung, hey!" you greet him as he stands up from his seat, packing his bag. To your relief, he doesn't seem to be upset with you about what happened yesterday in the library.

"Y/N!" He is about to give you a playful dab but then realises it probably isn't a good idea with the lecture hall still filled with students. However, you think it is because of what you said about not being "that close," and for a second, you feel a sense of guilt wash over you.

"I was thinking we should get this project started so we can get it over and done with. You cool with that?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," he smiles, and you can't help but scream internally. It's such a shame that no one else can see this smile of his.

"What about my place?" Heeseung suggests innocently, but your mind takes it out of proportion with your unnecessary imagination that you know would be better for both you and him to keep to yourself. A slight blush creeps up your cheeks, and you pray to God that Heeseung doesn't notice it.

He does but chooses not to pick on you about it, mainly because he feels his own cheeks heating up too. "Yeah sure, tomorrow okay for you?" he nods, and you reach your hand out to him. He tilts his head to the side, weighing his options before deciding to take it.

You laugh out loud at how cute he looks in the moment. "I was asking for your phone so I could give you my number, but this works too," you tease him, and he quickly pulls his hand back, jokingly pouting, which you find to be adorable.

Heeseung hands you his phone, and you enter your number. "There you go," you say, handing it back to him.

"See you tomorrow then," you say, giving him a small wave as you turn to leave.

When Heeseung texts you his home address, you can't help but feel a twinge of intimidation. You recognise the street name as one where high-status families reside in their luxurious landed properties.

You are further proven right when you alight from the taxi that manoeuvred through the neighbourhood with great difficulty to a meticulously maintained garden surrounding a grand, modern mansion. The sheer size of the property is daunting, and don’t even get you started on the rows of luxury cars parked outside. Your nerves tighten as you approach the front door, feeling like you’re about to step into a different universe.

Despite knowing you shouldn't be prejudiced—after all, you're a victim of it yourself—the thought of potentially running into his parents, siblings, or even distinguished guests scares you shitless. The last thing you want is to embarrass yourself in front of rich, snobby, and arrogant boomers.

However, you know better than to let that fear deter you from your original goal: completing this godforsaken project. Before you know it, you're ringing the doorbell to his private estate, which is oddly isolated from the rest of the neighbourhood. The gates open, and you step through—into his world.

#2 - The Parallel

Lee Heeseung is the eldest son of the Lee Group, South Korea's largest and most successful healthcare conglomerate. His father, Lee Daeseong, owns Seoul National Hospital and oversees a vast network of clinics, pharmacies, and even veterinary practices. The Lee family boasts a lineage of healthcare professionals, including renowned doctors, surgeons, psychologists, veterinarians, dentists, and pioneering lab researchers.

They aren’t just limited to healthcare either; the family also controls one of the country’s biggest and most luxurious department stores. This revelation surprises you, given that Heeseung never gave off any impression of being well-off, let alone being the eldest son of one of Korea’s richest and most influential families.

You stare in awe as you stroll along the ridiculously long hallway leading to the main living room. The walls are adorned with certificates, trophies, and commemorative pictures showcasing his family's impressive lineage. With each step, you feel smaller and more intimidated, overwhelmed by the weight of their achievements. If your impression of Heeseung hasn’t shifted by now, this discovery definitely did, but you try your best not to let your nervousness show.

You consider the possible reasons why Heeseung has chosen to hide such a significant part of his life behind closed doors. Maybe he was forced to keep it a secret? That seems plausible as you imagine yourself in his shoes—dealing with strangers sucking up to you, not because they wanted to be friends, but because they wanted a taste of old money and power.

As you painstakingly reach the end of the highly esteemed yet spacious foyer, you emerge into a lavishly furnished living area with high ceilings and large windows that let in an abundance of natural light. It exudes typical rich family vibes: unnecessarily large chandeliers, sofas upholstered in the finest fabrics that stretch for what seems like miles, a TV almost the size of your bed back home mounted on the wall, and a grand piano that likely hasn't been touched in ages, standing elegantly in the corner.

The air is perfumed with a subtle, expensive fragrance, and everything gleams with a polished sheen, making you acutely aware of the disparity between this world and your own. You can't help but feel a little out of place.

A friendly old lady approaches you, her steps soft and practised, offering to take your coat and presenting you with comfortable house slippers to switch out your dirty Air Forces for. "Thank you," you say, bowing slightly, feeling a pang of awkwardness in this palace-like setting. You guess she is well into her 70s, her demeanour warm and welcoming yet impeccably professional.

"The young master is upstairs in his room, the last door in the corridor to the right. Be careful not to make too much noise when you pass by the other rooms; Mr. Lee is resting," she advises, prompting you up the huge flight of stairs leading to the second floor. You gulp at her warning, knowing well that the "Mr. Lee" she refers to is Heeseung's father.

As you ascend the stairs, the opulence of the house continues to impress and intimidate you. Each step you take echoes lightly, the staircase grand and sweeping, lined with a plush carpet that feels luxurious under your feet. The walls are adorned with intricate woodwork and expensive art pieces that seem to whisper stories of the family's history and prestige. Finally, you reach the corridor and make your way to the last door on the right, careful to tread lightly as you pass by the other rooms. Your heart races, not just from the physical exertion but from the anticipation of seeing Heeseung in this new light.

You knock softly on the door, your knuckles barely making a sound on the polished wood. The door opens almost immediately, and Heeseung stands there, a welcoming yet slightly embarrassed smile on his face.

"Hey, you made it." Heeseung greets you, stepping aside to allow you into his room before closing the door behind him. "You sleep here?" you ask, scrutinising your surroundings and taking in the spaciousness of his room. "It's the size of my apartment," you add, fawning in awe.

Heeseung shrugs, seemingly indifferent. "It's alright, I guess? I'm not really home most of the time anyway."

"Oh? Then what made you suggest doing it here?" you inquire, genuinely curious.

"I have a producing studio," he replies nonchalantly as if it's the most normal thing ever to have a fully equipped studio in your house. Given the size of his mansion, you're not entirely surprised. Who knows what other unconventional amenities this dreamhouse has to offer? You nod slowly, still adjusting to the opulent environment.

For a guy, his room is remarkably well-kept and smells surprisingly pleasant. The colour scheme is rather mundane—neutral tones of grey and white, with minimal decorations. It doesn't seem to match the character of Heeseung you've come to know. It feels almost impersonal, more like a pre-decorated hotel room than a college student’s sanctuary.

He gestures for you to take a seat on his bed, and you do so awkwardly. You catch him stealing a glance at your exposed legs, making you wonder if wearing shorts and a t-shirt was the right choice, especially since his room is absolutely freezing. "I can lend you some clothes if it makes you more comfortable," he offers, and your ears perk up at the suggestion. You immediately accept.

He returns a few minutes later with a pair of joggers and a hoodie. You throw them over your clothes, and it’s needless to say they are way too big for you. You secure the waistband as tight as you can to keep the joggers from slipping down your hips. The sleeves of his hoodie run all the way past your fingers, enveloping you in the familiar scent that comes along with it—a mixture of fresh morning dew and a hint of teakwood. You revel in the natural yet exotic scent he emanates, a fragrance that even the richest-smelling flowers would stand second to. It feels almost... homely, unlike everything else in this mansion.

"Thanks," you say, adjusting the oversized hoodie. Heeseung gives you a small smile, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer than usual.

"No problem," he replies, his voice softer now. He moves to his desk, cluttered with music equipment and notes.

"Oh right, I really wanted to ask you something," you say, catching Heeseung's attention as he looks up. "I never really pegged you as the musical type, at least not until, you know," you trail off, and he raises an eyebrow, prompting you to continue, "When did it... start?"

"You mean the part where I'm actually a self-absorbed womaniser and also an alcoholic raging reveller?" he quips, a teasing glint in his eye.

"You said it, not me," you respond, trying to keep the mood light.

"Why do you want to know?" he asks, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"I mean, if anyone else was in my shoes, knowing what I know, they'd be curious too," you explain. He purses his lips, nodding in agreement with your point.

"Well, I can't tell you when it started because, as far as I know, I've always been like this: partying, drinking, sex. It's fun," he shrugs nonchalantly.

"Right... and I can't get over the fact that those words just came out of your mouth. Pardon me, it's going to take a while for me to adjust to this," you say, flailing your arms to emphasise your point.

"All good, it's a first for me too. I don't think anyone knows about it, except you," he admits.

"So like... you're living your Hannah Montana dreams or what?" you joke. He scoffs, rolling his eyes, and you laugh, feeling proud of your joke.

"Why don't you want people to know?" you ask, your curiosity piqued.

"Because I can't have my father knowing," he shrugs almost emotionlessly. "Typical crazy rich Asian parents whose entire reason to have kids is so they can impose whatever corrupt business they run onto you when they so unwillingly die someday."

"Sounds like shit," you sympathise.

"You have no idea how shit it really feels: having to hide, lie, and endure the harsh reality that I'll never be able to break free from the grasp of my birth giver. Not everybody gets the freedom to enjoy doing what they want like you do," he says, his voice tinged with bitterness.

You inhale sharply, realising you've touched a sensitive topic. However, you can't help but see yourself in him. "You'd be surprised to know that I actually do."

"How so? You literally have everything: you're pretty, you have good grades, you're popular, you can do whatever the fuck you want, and nobody is going to question you," he retorts. It hits you that even Lee Heeseung can't tell apart your egos. You must have put up a hell of a show to convince someone as sceptical as him.

"You think I'm pretty? I'm honoured, sir," you joke, not wanting to escalate the tension that was so evidently present in the room. Luckily for you, swerving topics is a long-honed skill of yours, having been in similar situations with your friends. Heeseung takes the hint and lets it slide.

Heeseung can't help but notice that he somehow always manages to put his guard down whenever you're around. It's unusual, more like a once-in-a-lifetime situation for him to accidentally lash out and even trauma dump on somebody. He wonders how you could have that type of effect on him when he barely even knows you.

"Enough moping around, let's get started!" you clap, breaking the awkward silence that has enveloped the room. Heeseung hurriedly agrees, and the two of you set off on your own research for ideas and inspiration.

As you scroll through a myriad of pop songs on the web, all of which somehow sound the same, you hear a faint humming despite your headphones pressing firmly around your ears. The sound is angelic, a stark contrast to the not-so-angelic person emitting it, that you think you must be hearing things. "You sing?" you ask, intrigued.

"Sorry, I didn't notice I was humming out loud," Heeseung responds, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Nah, you're good. What song were you humming? It's got a catchy melody," you say, slowly taking off your headphones. He awkwardly chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks at you, almost embarrassed.

"It's actually a song I've been working on. It's nothing much, though. I was just humming it subconsciously," he admits.

"It's really good," you’re generous with your praise, not able to get the melody out of your head. He turns to look at you, clearly unconvinced. "I mean it." For a few seconds, you and Heeseung just stare at each other, neither willing to look away first.

Your heartbeat speeds up, and you feel heat rushing to your cheeks, tinting them with a shade of pink. The room feels charged with an energy you can’t quite place. You look so divine sitting on his bed and praising his voice that Heeseung feels like he could tell you anything in the world, and you would still be sitting there, listening attentively to him.

"Thanks," he says, looking away shyly, now hyper-aware of your soft gaze on him. An epiphany strikes you as you realise that this is the inspiration you've been looking for, so you waste no time suggesting it to him.

"Actually, why don't we just produce it into an actual song? I think it'll turn out well."

"You think so? Won't it be too... I don't know, ballad-ish?" His interest is piqued when he sits upright after all this time.

"Who said we have to stick to making boring pop music?" you say, placing your hands on your hips in a jokingly menacing way. He laughs, the sound warming you.

"I'm fine with it, if you are," he says, looking expectantly at you. You nod and a huge smile creeps onto his face. You wonder if this is really the same Heeseung you met in that shady alley the day you discovered his alter ego. Because all you see in front of you is an overly excited boy, whose passion for music outweighs any nerdy stereotype or frat boy persona you once held against him.

At that moment, a saying from your psychology professor comes to mind:

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

Was it just you, or does Heeseung remind you a lot of, well... you?

As you and Heeseung toil away on the song for hours, the room gradually darkens with the fading light outside. With a sigh of frustration, you crumple yet another failed attempt at lyrics, tossing it aside. Draft after draft, the words blur together, leaving you more lost with each attempt compared to the last.

"If I write the word 'love' one more time, I might actually lose it," you grumble, running your hands through your hair and leaning back against the headboard, eyes closed. Heeseung, noticing your weariness, suggests calling it a day. Both of you have been so immersed in your work that time has slipped away unnoticed.

"I'll finish writing this verse, and then I'll leave," you declare, sitting up straight and stretching your arms and fingers as if you’re preparing for war. Rightfully so as it’s a mental battle at this point.

Unbeknownst to you, Heeseung has been watching you intently for a while now, his gaze filled with a mix of admiration and intrigue. Seeing you draped in his oversized hoodie, diligently working on a song that on paper, wouldn’t even benefit you the slightest, captivates him.

Today, Heeseung is the one who gets a glimpse of a different side of you—one that isn’t defined by alcohol-fueled escapades on the dance floor. He finds it admirable how you remain dedicated to your studies despite your popularity. He knows you’re genuinely passionate about pursuing psychology; he sees it in your active participation in class, although it's often misconstrued by others as seeking attention or being humorous, the intention isn’t lost on him.

Today's experience solidifies for him that you're more than just a pretty face, and witnessing your dedication cements his respect for you. Watching you research and write for hours shows him that you truly enjoy learning. How does he know? Because he's much like you, albeit in a different field. While you delve into the study of the human mind and behaviour, Heeseung pours his heart and soul into music—the one thing that keeps him grounded at home, if it can even be called that.

"I've heard so many sappy and depressing ballads, I’m convinced I might end up depressed myself," you confess, crumpling yet another sheet of paper in frustration as you catch Heeseung’s gaze. Heeseung, recalling a past conversation, approaches you with a proposition.

"You know… about that offer you made me that day, is it still on the table?” He stands up, making his way over to you on the bed. You tilt your head, not quite sure what he’s referring to.

“Offer?”

“The one about being called the party queen for a reason?" He prompts, extending his hand out to you. You’re surprised, not expecting him to remember your words that were carelessly spilt from your mouth that day. You didn’t even think he’d take it seriously.

"But it's a Sunday night, and we have class tomorrow."

"So what?"

"Well, shouldn't we be getting some rest?"

"Come on, Y/N, it'll be a nice break from all this. Maybe we'll even find some inspiration," Heeseung persuades, knowing you've entertained the idea yourself. After all, you’ve been drowning yourself in sappy romantic ballads the past three hours or so, that you actually yearn for the club music you despised so much. “Don’t tell me you’re going back on your words now?” Heeseung provokes you, and just like the people pleaser you are, you sigh and agree.

Heeseung suggests a discreet club not far from his home, and as you step inside, the air buzzes with an electric energy. It’s immediately clear to you that this is no ordinary club, and the probability of running into a familiar face is slim, almost close to zero. The most obvious telltale being the aura of sophistication exuded by the clientele, dressed in boujee and classy bejewelled statements that speak of wealth and privilege rather than cheap mini dresses or skirts. If you felt out of place in your casual t-shirt and denim shorts, it's because you are.

"Mr. Lee, I didn't know you'd be coming tonight," the bartender addresses Heeseung, clearly recognising him. You assume he must be a regular for the bartender to call him "Mr. Lee."

"It was on short notice. Don't tell my father though," Heeseung’s playful wink is met with a knowing smile from the bartender, their interaction hinting at a shared history or inside joke.

"So, what? Your family owns clubs now?"

"Not exactly, but I'd like to think we almost run this place. The hospital employees frequent this joint so much that it's become a bit of a Lee thing," Heeseung explains kindly, his tone tinged with a hint of pride. "It's also the only entertainment establishment I’m allowed in without being questioned by my father. If I'm going to be seen partying, it might as well be with the elites, am I right?" He shrugs.

As Heeseung's words sink in, you nod slowly, still processing the layers of his rich boy persona. The revelation adds another dimension to your understanding of his world and the complexities of his affluent background, where even leisure activities come with the weight of familial expectations and scrutiny.

Without warning, he pulls you onto the dance floor, and you can't help but remember the day you first spotted him in the crowd. You recall the look on his face when he locked eyes with you and how attractive he seemed that night. Although he still strikes you today, it's not as remarkable as he appeared the last time you saw him in this setting.

Considering that both of you practically rushed out of his mansion, he's only thrown on a plain top and a black leather jacket. His tousled hair is subtly parted down the middle, exposing his doe eyes that you've grown to appreciate. As you watch him move to the music, a pang of self-consciousness washes over you, thinking if you had something nicer to wear, you’d be turning heads by now.

"Okay, party queen, show me what you got!" Heeseung hollers, his hand firmly clasping yours as he twirls you around the dance floor with practised ease. You can't help but let out a delighted laugh, your heart quickening with the thrill of the moment. "Are you sure? I'm not easy to handle," you tease, raising an eyebrow in a playful challenge.

Undeterred by your jest, Heeseung pulls you closer by the waist. The warmth of his touch on your sides sends a shiver down your spine as you find yourself drawn into him.

Refusing to let him take control of the situation, you play tricks of your own as you throw your arms over his shoulders, drawing yourselves closer as the music pulses around you.

To your surprise, Heeseung doesn't even flinch. Instead, he envelops you in his arms, his hands now resting comfortably on the small of your back. As you gaze up at him, you catch a smirk playing on his lips. Clearly, he's no stranger to your dance floor prowess, and anyone who knows you knows that you can make any guy fold in an instant just by looking into their eyes for a little over three seconds. Well, three seconds pass and Heeseung’s gaze is still locked on yours with an undeniable spark of amusement dancing in his eyes.

"You're enjoying this more than I expected," you tease, a playful smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"I literally have the esteemed party queen right in front of me, who wouldn't?" Heeseung's response is met with a roll of your eyes, though you can’t deny the flutter of excitement in your chest at his words.

"You're annoyingly flattering, you know that?" Your voice raised slightly above the music as you playfully jab his chest. He reacts with exaggerated surprise, bumping into a nearby patron who shoots you both a disdainful look, their gaze staying on you a second longer, undoubtedly judging your attire.

Ignoring the snide glance, you and Heeseung share a knowing look before bursting into laughter. "Seems she's allergic to your impressive choice of clothing," Heeseung quips, earning an unimpressed scoff from you.

"Please, if you had given me a heads up, I'd probably be the best dressed in this shithole," you retort with a mock huff, crossing your arms in front of you. Heeseung can't help but find your playful indignation utterly endearing, though he's careful not to let it show.

As you stand there, feigning annoyance but unable to conceal the playful glint in your eye, Heeseung feels a surge of affection wash over him. Despite the glamorous setting of the club and the pretentious glances from some of the other patrons, he finds himself drawn to you—an average college girl in a place clearly out of her league, sticking out like a sore thumb among the elites.

Suppressing a smile, he reaches out to gently nudge your arm, his touch light and reassuring. "Come on now, you’ll be turning heads dressed up or not," he says softly, his words sincere. In that moment, amidst the pulsating music and the dimly lit dance floor, he realises just how much he enjoys your company, your playful banter, and your unapologetic presence by his side.

The night was still relatively young, at least in your vocabulary, and just when you thought you had seen every side of this man, he managed to surprise you yet again. He dominates the dance floor with such confidence that you can't help but feel a twinge of competitiveness, sensing your throne as the party queen being challenged. Yet, there's something undeniably endearing about the sight of him, his smile radiant as he sings and dances with indifference to the music.

However, your admiration falters and you assume your eyes are deceiving you when you catch him dancing up against multiple girls, his eyes clouded with lust as he checks them out. From the intense intimacy you shared in his room earlier, dancing the night away was the last thing you expected. Yet, here you are, caught in the whirlwind of the moment.

As you sway to the music, you feel a presence coming up behind you, a young man presumably in his late twenties. You didn’t reject his advances so he takes it as a positive sign to move closer with each step. Turning around, you wrap your arms around his shoulders, swaying your hips in sync with his. His response is palpable, and you revel in the power you hold over him, whispering sweet nothings into his neck as he shivers under your breath.

You chuckle subtly to yourself as you look up from the man, locking gazes with a pair of eyes you know all too well. Meanwhile, Heeseung, wrapped in the arms of another girl, stares intensely over her shoulder at your interaction with the stranger. For a fleeting moment, he imagines himself holding you, corrupting you in ways only he knows how. Sensing your gaze, he quickly diverts his attention, forcefully grabbing the jaw of the girl in front of him, kissing down her neck with a calculated intensity that surprises even you.

Shocked by his sudden display, you feel a surge of heat coursing through your body. Refusing to attribute it to him, you take matters into your own hands. You start sucking on the skin of the guy in front of you, tasting the salty remains of his perspiration that makes you cringe a little as you feel him melt into your arms. Oh, the power you have over men.

All the while, your eyes remain locked with Heeseung's, a silent challenge passing between you. In that moment, he realises the depth of the connection between you, a connection that transcends mere attraction and borders on something far more dangerous. And as he watches the scene unfold, a sense of déjà vu washes over him.

You remind him of someone, someone he knows all too well—an uncanny resemblance to… himself.

Heeseung and you stumble out of the club sometime after midnight, giggling and visibly intoxicated as you lean on each other for support. He stands there, slightly swaying, with his leather jacket slung over his shoulder, a goofy smile plastered on his face. In this moment, he seems carefree and boyish, a stark contrast to the different facets of his personality you've come to know. Heeseung is a man of many faces, and you have had the honour of witnessing them all... well, almost all.

You gaze at him endearingly, reflecting on how your relationship with Heeseung has changed so drastically in just a matter of weeks. The two of you barely knew each other before; you were practically strangers with only a superficial understanding of one another. Come to think of it, you don't even know his favorite colour. However, the connection between you feels like you've known him for a lifetime, and you're sure Heeseung feels the same way.

As you stand there, the world spinning slightly from the alcohol, you reflect on how Heeseung has become a cornerstone of your life. There's a comfort in his presence that allows you to be vulnerable, showing him sides of yourself you wouldn't normally reveal to anyone else. He, in turn, seems to trust you implicitly with his deepest, darkest secrets (literally).

Not wanting this magical moment to end, you discreetly pull out your phone. You aim the camera at Heeseung, capturing him in all his glory—his tousled hair, his bright eyes, the unguarded joy on his face. The click of the camera shutter is soft, almost imperceptible, but the image it captures is one you know you'll treasure forever.

You are so caught up in angling your phone so the street lamp highlights his features perfectly that you don't even notice when Heeseung turns his attention to you. His smile softens as he watches you, a tender look in his eyes that catches you off guard when you finally glance up.

Snap.

"You know I'm right here in the flesh, right? Why look through a picture when you can experience the real thing?" Heeseung smirks, his eyes twinkling with mischief as you fumble with your phone, quickly hiding it behind your back. His chuckle makes your cheeks flush with embarrassment.

"Come on, I'll take you home," he says, already starting to walk away before you have a chance to protest.

"You don't really have to," you say nervously, catching up to him. He looks down at you, his warm smile making your heart skip a beat.

"It's the least I can do after dragging you out here with me. Besides, it's getting late," he replies, his voice gentle and reassuring. You fiddle with your fingernails and nod in defeat, grateful but slightly flustered.

The walk home is quiet, but it's a comforting silence, filled with unspoken words of affirmation and the soft hum of the city at night. Your outfit isn't exactly ideal for the chilly fall weather, and you mentally face-palm when you realise you left your coat at Heeseung's place. The cold seeps in, making you shiver beneath the featureless grey clouds that blanket the streets of Seoul.

Suddenly, you feel a rough, heavy material fall over your shoulders, wrapping you in warmth. Heeseung has placed his leather jacket on you after noticing your visible shivering. "Idiot, you should've worn something warmer," he scolds lightly, his concern evident in his eyes.

You chuckle, feeling a surge of gratitude and a warm blush spreading across your cheeks. "I didn't think it'd be this cold already. Also, I didn't exactly plan to stay out this long," you retort playfully, shooting him a mock glare. He smiles sheepishly, his own cheeks tinged with a faint pink.

As you continue walking, you find yourself sneaking glances at Heeseung, marveling at how quickly he has become such an important part of your life. The leather jacket smells like him, a comforting mix of cologne, cigarettes and something uniquely Heeseung. It feels like a protective embrace, and you can't help but feel a little giddy.

In what seems like no time, you find yourself standing in front of your apartment building. Heeseung glances around, surprised at how quickly the walk seemed to pass. It felt like thirty minutes, yet somehow it seems like barely half that. You reluctantly hand his jacket back, feeling the warmth linger on your skin. "Thank you," you say, genuinely grateful and a bit sad to see the night end.

"Anytime," he replies with a soft smile, his eyes lingering on yours for a moment longer than necessary. You bid him goodbye and head into the building, feeling his eyes on you until you enter the lift.

Heeseung puts on his leather jacket, now imbued with hints of your perfume. The scent lingers, a comforting reminder of the night. As he walks back home through the bustling streets, his mind is filled with the events of the evening, a smile playing on his lips. The city lights blur around him, and he can't help but feel that tonight was the start of something truly special.

Just as you had thought, clubbing the night before a school day probably wasn't the smartest idea, but if you were being honest with yourself, you had no regrets. After that night, you felt a noticeable shift in your relationship with Heeseung, and it was definitely a positive one. So many things were left unsaid, but there was no need for words; you both just knew.

It didn't come as much of a surprise when you and Heeseung stopped avoiding each other on campus. In fact, the two of you were practically inseparable, spending every possible moment together. Some might even think you were dating. That wouldn't sound so bad, except for the fact that your reputations were complete opposites—the party girl and the goody-two-shoes show-off? Unfortunately, you weren't the only one who thought it was an odd pairing.

"Y/N, what's up with you and the smart aleck?" Yunjin asks as she sits down across from you, joining Sakura and Chaewon in their persistent quest to dig up whatever you might be hiding about Heeseung.

"First off, his name is Heeseung," you sigh, shifting over to make room for Sunghoon, who sits next to you. "And there's absolutely nothing going on."

"Mhm..." Yunjin props her chin on her fingers, clearly not convinced by your half-hearted answer.

"Look, we're just working together on a project and got to know each other. He's actually a decent person, so there's no need for me to push him away. There's nothing more to it," you explain, trying to sound casual.

Sakura squints her eyes, staring intently into your soul like the lie detector she is. You realise you're holding your breath, feeling an unexpected wave of nervousness. Why are you so anxious? It's not like you're lying. When Sakura finally smiles, you silently release a breath of relief, thankful that her smile seems to have debunked the suspicions of the other girls.

"Okay, okay, we'll drop it... for now," Chaewon says, grinning mischievously.

"Speak of the devil," Yunjin says, pointing. You follow her gaze and, lo and behold, there’s Lee Heeseung with his attention on you and your group of friends. You smile and wave, which he gladly acknowledges, waving back and reminding you of your appointment later to continue working on the song you had to abruptly pause the other day.

As you watch him walk over to his own group of friends not too far away, you can hear his sweet laughter over the noise of the bustling cafeteria. Your body is at the table, reacting to your friends' conversations, but your soul is patently somewhere else, drawn to Heeseung.

"To be honest, he's actually not bad looking," Yunjin says, shrugging her shoulders and bringing up Heeseung again, which catches your attention. "If only he wasn't so annoyingly unlikeable. There's only so far a pretty face can get you." Your friends nod along with Yunjin's statement, and you suck in a quick breath, trying to hide your frustration. It affects you how your friends think of Heeseung, but you feel helpless to change their minds. After all, you've told them he's nothing more than a mere friend.

"Now that guy beside him," Yunjin nods towards the younger-looking boy beside Heeseung, "he could hit me up anytime." You roll your eyes at her usual flirty antics; she never fails to check out any decent-looking guy within her preying vision.

"I believe his name is Jake," Sunghoon pipes up, surprising you since he usually never joins in on your girly talks.

"Jake Sim? As in the famously smart junior from the faculty of health sciences?" Chaewon asks, and Yunjin seems intrigued.

"Yeah, you heard about him, Chaewon?"

"Of course, everyone from HS has heard his name before. He's famous for being the guy who tried to resurrect a rat during his dissection practicum, though it didn't exactly work out," Chaewon explains. You, being from the same faculty, struggle to recall ever hearing about this 'Jake.'

"He WHAT?" Yunjin bursts out laughing as Chaewon shrugs her shoulders. "Honestly, I don't even know. What I do know is, he's a total softie and extremely humble, unlike his best friend."

"I'm glad you and Lee Heeseung aren't what I thought you guys were. It'd be detrimental to your reputation if you were ever involved with him in that way,"

"Thanks for the concern, Yunjin, but I can take care of myself," you reply, standing up with your tray of almost untouched food. You excuse yourself, saying you don't have much of an appetite. Thankfully, your friends don't think much of it. Sunghoon, however, catches the tension lifting your shoulders and can't help but feel like you're hiding more than you let on—maybe even facts that you yourself aren't fully aware of.

As you walk away, you steal one last glance at Heeseung. He's engrossed in conversation with his friends, but for a brief moment, he looks up and your eyes meet. There's a spark of something unspoken, something that makes your heart race and your mind whirl with possibilities.

A week has passed since that weirdly infuriating conversation with your friends, and during this time, you've done a lot of thinking... like a lot. It bothers you how much their words about Heeseung affected you more than you'd like to admit. It's true that your relationship with him has changed in ways you never expected, but he was nothing more than a friend—friends who share life-changing secrets, but still, just friends.

I mean, you were just looking out for a good friend, right? It was out of your guilty conscience that you couldn't sit there and listen to your friends talk smack about someone they clearly didn't know two shits about. Your friendship with Heeseung has advanced to something more than just surface-level "heys" and "how's your day?" So, clearly, your friends were wrong for judging him based on stereotypes and rumours... right?

You find yourself running away from the answer you so desperately seek, but all you can think about is—do Heeseung's friends talk about you that way too? Do they see you as an attention-seeking whore, a chronic people-pleaser, a clubbing maniac with an alcohol addiction? If they do, does he defend you like you did for him?

The answer would be ‘yes’, because Heeseung had just as much of a week as you did, with his friends constantly asking about you. Each time, he gave them the same exact answer: "We're just working on a project together." It disturbed him how even people he barely knew felt compelled to ask about you, some going as far as inquiring if you were any good in bed. It saddens him that this is the impression people have of you when he knows you are so much more than just the girl who parties a lot. He wonders if you are aware of the things people say about you, and all he can hope for is that you stay blissfully ignorant of it.

You've been avoiding your friends since that day in the cafeteria, not because of what they said, but because of how you reacted. The intensity of your feelings scared you, and you dread being put in that same predicament again if they inevitably bring up Heeseung.

Your friends didn't sense anything off about your behaviour that day, and you don't blame them. After all, you've been hiding your true feelings from day one; you're far from an open book, and your friends know about as much about you as the strangers you walk past every single day.

However, a week of avoiding your friends did made them question if something went wrong, especially since you were so active around Heeseung but shied away whenever one of them approached you. Their concern grew, but it didn't last long when you showed up at the weekly frat party, best dressed as always.

You couldn't let this setback ruin the reputation you had worked so hard to build and keep, so you decided to suck it up, put on the sluttiest mini dress you owned, and went to work.

The party is in full swing when you arrive, the bass from the speakers vibrating through your body. You make an entrance, turning heads as you stride confidently through the throngs of partygoers. Your friends spot you almost immediately, their expressions a mix of relief and curiosity.

"Y/N! There you are! We were starting to worry," Yunjin calls out, waving you over.

You flash a dazzling smile, pushing away the nervous flutter in your stomach. "Hey, guys! Sorry, I've been a bit busy," you say, trying to keep your tone light and breezy.

Sakura raises an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. "Busy with Heeseung, huh?"

You laugh it off, though the comment hits closer to home than you care to admit. "We've just been working on our project. Nothing more."

The conversation shifts as your friends drag you to the dance floor, the thumping music drowning out any further interrogation. You lose yourself in the rhythm, your body moving to the beat, the worries of the past week melting away under the flashing lights and the haze of alcohol. Yet, even as you dance, you can't help but scan the room for Heeseung even though you know he can never be caught dead at a frat party. It's just become a habit, this unconscious need to know where he is, what he's doing.

Heeseung isn’t any better, constantly refreshing his Instagram feed to catch the latest updates on what you were up to. It’s not difficult, considering you were everywhere on everyone’s stories. Heeseung scrolls through the endless array of posts, his smile tinged with an emotion he can't quite place. He watches you chugging a glass of beer in Sakura's story, admiring the way you dance on the floor in Jay's, and even feeling a tinge of jealousy at the closeness you had with guys other than himself. Despite the show of carefree revelry, he knows you'd rather be working late into the night on the song you two were supposed to be writing together.

“What a life you have, Y/N,” Heeseung mutters to himself, laying back on the fluffy comforter that still carries the faint scent of you from your last visit. He hasn’t changed it out, clinging to the lingering trace of your presence, finding an unexpected comfort in it. He wishes you were right there beside him.

He closes his eyes, picturing your laughter filling the room, the way your eyes light up when you're excited about something. He imagines you working together on the song, bouncing ideas off each other, and the comfortable silence that often falls between you when words aren’t necessary.

A sigh escapes his lips as he grapples with these feelings, pondering if you feel the same way, if you think about him when you're out with your friends or if he even crosses your mind at all. The thought of you being surrounded by other people, especially guys who don't understand you the way he does, makes him uneasy.

Unlike you, he was fully aware of the tension between you two, a tension that screamed "more than friends." Despite this awareness, he had no immediate plans to act on it. Then again, things don't always go according to plan, do they?

You cannot begin to explain how thankful you are for Heeseung's perfect excuse to bail you out of this messy alcoholic galore. "Chaewon! I have to go!" you shout over the music, pushing your way through the crowd to get to her. "What? Why? It's not even midnight yet!"

"Something went wrong with the project file I'm working on!" Chaewon pouts, clearly disappointed that you can't stay longer. "Can't you stay a little while longer? I think they're popping the expensive bottles soon!"

"I can't, I’ve spent way too much time on it to lose it now!" You feel a pang of guilt for having to come up with yet another lie. Every time you swear to yourself that you won't do it again, but it happens so often that it has just become second nature.

"Sorry!" you say, downing the last of your beer and setting the glass down on the counter beside Chaewon. "You're good, I guess it can't be helped! I'll let the rest know you had to leave earlier, don't worry about it!" You mentally thank the angel that is Kim Chaewon for not questioning you any further. You hurriedly gather your belongings and make your way out of the house.

You’ve walked the halls of Heeseung’s mansion and knocked on the door of his room more times than you could count on one hand. However, this time you’re standing at the head of his door not because you can't wait to bombard him with ideas and song lyrics for your project, but because he simply wanted to hang out—just the two of you, in his room.

"Hey, you made it," he greets, opening the door. That familiar musky scent washes over you, and you notice how he stands there silently, staring at you—or rather, what you’re wearing.

"I couldn't change on my way here," you blurt out. You didn't really have to, but you find the need to explain yourself to him. You feel so vulnerable under his gaze, and you’re not sure if it's the alcohol kicking in that makes your body heat up or the fact that Heeseung is blatantly checking you out. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to turn up in front of him, visibly tipsy and wearing the most inappropriate thing you own.

"Come in, I’ll grab something for you to change into," Heeseung says, stepping aside and gesturing for you to close the door after you. You stand awkwardly in the middle of his room, waiting for him to return. In this short time frame, you can feel yourself sobering up in the quietness of his space. You wish you had drunk a bit more so you wouldn't be so hyper-aware of the tension that has conveniently presented itself within these walls.

After what feels like hours, Heeseung returns with a newly-washed hoodie. You recognise it as the one he always lends you when you come over. The hoodie is as much yours as it is his at this point.

"Why are you just standing there like that? It’s not like it’s your first time here anyway," Heeseung says, throwing himself onto the bed and gesturing for you to sit beside him. 

You pull the hoodie over your head, feeling the soft fabric envelop you in its familiar warmth. The scent of Heeseung clings to it, making you feel a strange mix of comfort and nervousness. You awkwardly shift next to him, the bed dipping under your combined weight as he chuckles softly, amused at how differently you’re acting in front of him.

You mentally thank Heeseung for his insanely perfect proportions that his hoodie covered all the way down to your thighs, especially as you feel your dress riding up your hips when you sit down. 

"Seemed like you were having a lot of fun. Didn't really expect you to actually show up," Heeseung says, grabbing the mid-sized soft toy sitting at the edge of his bed and placing it on your lap.

Chuckling, you play with the ears of the teddy bear. "You know damn well I’d rather be working on that song with you. Though we’re not actually doing anything right now..." Heeseung laughs, clearly satisfied that he knows you so well. It makes him feel special.

"Don’t get so cocky now," you smirk, looking at him.

"You think I don’t know you missed me so much you took the opportunity to invite me over even though you knew I was out?" You raise an eyebrow, intentionally teasing him. It has become a running joke between the two of you that Heeseung has some sort of infatuation towards you. He texts you over every little thing, and you, being embarrassingly awkward and heavily influenced by your flirtatious lifestyle, make a joke out of it.

Heeseung doesn’t deny it, though. Maybe he really does feel some sort of attraction toward you, one that’s more than merely sexual.

"What were you doing before I came over?" you ask, your curiosity piqued as you play with the teddy bear, moving its limbs in circular motions like a mini b-boy dance routine.

"Thinking," Heeseung replies, staring at you absentmindedly.

"About?"

"You," he says simply.

You turn to face him, a little too quickly for your liking. You don't want to seem shocked or flustered, so you keep your composure. Snickering, you try to play it off as a harmless tease. "Your awful attempts at seduction won't work on me, Heeseung."

"I didn't say it would be easy," he shrugs, casually picking a piece of lint off the sleeve of your—well, technically his—hoodie.

"You're such a flirt. How do the people around you not notice that trait of yours?"

"I'm a pretty convincing actor if I do say so myself," he says, dramatically brushing his fingers through his hair. "Better than you even."

"Puh-lease, even Angelina Jolie has nothing on me," you retort, joining in the act by dramatically flipping your hair in his direction, inadvertently smacking him in the face.

"Why are you here again?"

"Shut up, don’t act like you weren’t the one begging me to come over."

"Ha! You wish you had that power over me," you say, not realising how close you've gotten to Heeseung during your playful banter. He stares directly into your eyes, and you're not sure if he's being dense or just incredibly bold, but he shows no intention of breaking the eye contact. You lose the unintended battle when the intensity becomes too much as you fold and look away first.

"You're unbearable," you mutter, returning to fiddling with the teddy bear now sprawled gracelessly on your lap.

"I know," Heeseung replies, a smirk playing on his lips. “But you're right. I did want you here. It’s just… nice having you around, and not having the silence in this house deafen me once in a while.”

His honesty takes you by surprise, and for a moment, you don’t know how to respond. "Well, I’m here now," you say softly, meeting his gaze.

“Okay, but you were the one who willingly showed up at my doorstep, so who's the one begging?”

“And you're back to being annoying,” you roll your eyes in mockery.

Heeseung laughs, the sound light and genuine. "Can't help it. It’s part of my charm."

"How does Jake even tolerate you?" you ask, carelessly name-dropping the Jake that you and your friends talked about the other day—the Jake he has never once mentioned to you. You mentally curse yourself the moment you realise your slip-up.

"Oh? How do you know Jake?" 

"Everyone from HS knows him. He's pretty popular, didn’t you know?" You try to play it cool, channelling your inner Angelina Jolie, but your calm demeanour always seems to crumble around Heeseung. Unlike everyone else, Heeseung can read you like a book.

"Mhm..." He raises his eyebrows, smirking, and you know you've been caught. "To be fair, it wasn't me, more like Yunjin and Chaewon," you say, mentally apologising to your friends for throwing them under the bus. The last thing you want is for Lee Heeseung to think that you’re interested in him.

"Sure it was," he says with a benevolent smile, letting you off the hook. 

"So, what kind of person is Jake?" you ask, trying to shift the conversation and cover your slip-up, after all you're a professional topic changer (or so you think). Heeseung doesn't tease you, sensing your semi-embarrassment at having exposed yourself for talking about him when he isn’t around.

"He's basically like the little brother I never had," Heeseung says, and you notice the corners of his lips lift as he talks about Jake. There's a softness in his expression that you hadn't seen before, a genuine affection that seems to light up his face. "He's had my back ever since middle school."

"The two of you must be very close then?" you prompt, curious about the depth of their relationship.

"Yeah... I mean, we do fight here and there, but it was never that serious. That was our friendship: equal parts irritation and cooperation," he trails off, a fondness in his eyes as he speaks. The way he talks about Jake, with such nostalgia and warmth, makes you realise how precious their friendship is to him. You can't help but feel a pang of jealousy, wishing you had someone who spoke about you with the same reverence.

"Which is why it would absolutely break my heart if he finds out I've been lying to him this entire time," he adds, his smile turning tender yet strained.

"You've never told him?" you ask, not wanting to be that person but realising you both are doing the exact same thing to the people you care about. Were you really such horrible people? Is it so wrong to be someone that you're clearly not?

"I couldn't bear to," Heeseung's usual imperious tone vanishes, replaced with a melancholic hint as if he’s on the brink of breaking down. "He looks up to me not just as someone older than him; he told me I was his role model." The tension in his voice is palpable, and you can see the conflict in his eyes. Heeseung's usually confident demeanour falter, revealing a vulnerability that catches you off guard. He’s always been the one with the answers, the one in control, and seeing him like this stirs something deep within you.

His voice wavers, and you feel the weight of his words. "Now what kind of person would I be if I told him that his role model is actually a delinquent who smokes and drinks his life away, on top of that doing everything behind his parents' backs?" Heeseung shifts his gaze from his fingernails toward you, but this time you don’t look away—you can’t. The Lee Heeseung you knew was confident, arrogant, and sometimes a total douchebag, so to see him so helpless, with pain so evidently present in his speech, completely breaks your heart.

You feel an overwhelming sense of empathy, realising that Heeseung, like you, is struggling with his own contradictions and fears. The façade he maintains is just as fragile as yours, and for the first time, you see him not as the perfect student or the flawless person but as someone who is deeply flawed and painfully human.

"Heeseung," you say softly, your voice trembling with emotion. "You’re not a bad person. We all have things we regret, things we’re not proud of. But those don’t define who we are entirely. Jake looks up to you because he sees something good in you, something worth admiring. Maybe it’s time you start seeing that in yourself too."

Heeseung's eyes soften, and you can see the conflict in them. He wants to believe you, to find solace in your words, but the weight of his guilt and shame holds him back. "It's hard," he admits. "Living up to everyone's expectations. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning."

You want him to know he isn't alone, that you relate to him, and that it's okay not to be okay. You try to convey this through your eyes, but this time, he’s the one who looks away first.

"Why do you think I attend all these parties?" you ask, your words heavy with emotion, urging Heeseung to look up at you. "Because you're stressed out about school and it's your stress reliever, isn't it?"

"That's where you're wrong, Heeseung," you reply, noticing the little arch forming on his eyebrows. You let out a giggle. "I club because that's what people expect me to do." You look solemnly at the teddy bear in your arms, as if speaking to it could somehow bring you comfort.

"Expect you to do...?"

"Because the popular girl is supposed to be fun and carefree, the life of every party. She's not supposed to be talking to self-absorbed smart alecs," you turn toward him as you finish your sentence, "because I'm that popular girl."

"Y'know, if my mom and dad saw me in this dress in some shady club downtown, they'd pack me up in a box and ship me off to North Korea," you joke lightly, not wanting the mood to spoil any more than it already has. "And honestly, I think my source of stress actually comes from me clubbing." You shrug it off, making it seem like no big deal. After all, you’re used to pretending to be somebody you’re not.

Heeseung, however, stares at you wistfully, his lips parted in surprise. This entire time he thought clubbing was something you enjoyed, a way to reduce your stress. He believed that the times you'd refuse to party were because you were caught up with submissions or exams. Your words strike him deeply, and it hurts him to think that you have to hear and endure the shit that comes out of people’s mouths about you that isn’t really… well, you.

"Your friends know about it?" Heeseung asks cautiously, aware of how close you and your friends are. He’s taken aback when you shamefully shake your head, your gaze fixed on the bear in your lap.

"Just like you, I couldn't bear to tell them. They'd be disappointed. Chaewon especially would beat herself up for not noticing," your voice is barely above a whisper, but in the silence of his room, it’s all he can hear. He feels the weight of your confession, the awkwardness overflowing the edges of the room. Not wanting to push it any further, you put on the smile you’ve perfected over the years.

Heeseung's expression softens, understanding dawning in his eyes. He reaches out, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "But you’re so much more than that," he says quietly. "You don’t have to be what everyone expects. You can just be you."

"I'm not trying to get your attention or sound pitiful. I just want you to know that you're not alone in this, Heeseung. I know how it feels to be helpless, thinking that the only way around it is to make up more lies to cover up the ones you've already told," you say, your gaze locking firmly onto his. Neither of you is willing to look away.

“We all feel like that at times. But you have people who care about you, who see the real you, even when you can’t see it yourself. And Jake—if he truly admires you, he’ll understand. He’ll still look up to you, maybe even more so for your honesty.” Heeseung nods slowly, absorbing your words. The vulnerability in his eyes makes your heart ache, and you wish you could take away his pain. “And it doesn't have to be now or tomorrow that we come clean about it. Hell, it might never even happen. So, don't blame yourself for it. If you do, you have to blame me too..."

You notice his face inching closer with every word that escapes your now quivering lips. You’re not sure whether he’s doing it intentionally or if he’s so deep in thought that he doesn’t realise your noses are touching, your lips just inches apart.

"Y-you don't have to tell Jake about it if you don't want to. I just wanted you to know that," your voice is breathless, probably inaudible if Heeseung wasn’t literally in your face. "So now that I know that you know that I know..." your train of thought derails with the distraction at hand. You bring your hand up to his chest in an attempt to wake him from whatever daze you think he’s in.

"I wouldn’t have to worry—"

He’s in no daze.

In the short one-and-a-half months that you’ve known this man, he’s reached into the deepest parts of your soul and connected them with his own, all before you even knew what his hands felt like. Despite what the majority say, despite everyone insisting that the two of you don’t belong together, you’re sitting here, body to body, chest to chest, hands in his, his hands on yours, and it feels so right.

So right that somehow, against all the wrongs you’ve been writing, you’re kissing him. You close your eyes, slowly drowning out the world around you; all the noise, the expectations, all the lies fade into white noise. In this moment, it’s just the two of you, raw and vulnerable.

You relish the familiar scent of teakwood and the fragrant floral scent of his laundry detergent. You also pick up the tangy smell of cigarettes lingering on his body, all of which drive you completely crazy.

The intensity of his kiss is indescribable, almost as if all the paths in the world have led to this very moment, and no matter how hard you or Heeseung try to stray away from it, you’ll always find your way back. He tugs on your arm, pulling you closer until you nearly fall onto his lap. He holds you so tightly, as if afraid you might run off. The sense of desperation he exudes is almost hungry, and you show him just how hungry you are for him too.

His arms slide around your waist, pulling you even closer. You swing your legs over him so that you are now straddling him, your arms running up his chest and around the back of his neck, your fingers tangling in his hair. Your lips move in unison, in a rhythmic silence that only the two of you can hear, speaking a language that only your souls understand.

There is a connection between you two that is so strong and priceless that the universe refuses to keep you apart. Heeseung moves back from your lips, but only far enough to catch a glimpse of your eyes, which remind him of the glow-in-the-dark stars plastered on the ceiling of his room in an unfathomable mural.

"You're so beautiful," he breathes out, his voice barely above a whisper. Your eyes flicker between his darkened gaze and his lips, now swollen from your bites. To Heeseung, describing you as beautiful feels like an understatement. Everything about you is so foreign to him, yet so familiar. Maybe it’s the stories you’ve shared, the hurt, the longing for freedom that instigates that sense of familiarity.

He presses his lips back onto yours, attempting to tip your head back. You gasp as you feel him trailing feather-light kisses down your neck and onto your collarbone. The sensation is so new and out of this world that it sends shivers down your spine. You cup your hands around his face, pushing him away gently so that he is face-to-face with you again. Your eyes meet, and it's as if your souls catch on fire. With your heart pounding wildly, you’re sure Heeseung can hear it. Your suspicions are confirmed when he flashes you a teasing smirk.

"Excited now, aren't we, Y/N?" The tips of your ears heat up, and you can only imagine how red they must be. You push your finger into the centre of his forehead, trying to break his piercing gaze and give yourself a moment to regain composure.

"Don't act like you didn't enjoy it yourself," you say, puffing up your cheeks in embarrassment. He shrugs, pulling you into one last embrace before lifting you gently off his lap and setting you back onto the duvet beside him.

"I'll go wash up and then take you home. Wait here, yeah?" He caresses your cheek, and you nod, watching as he stands up and heads towards the bathroom. You lie back, still feeling the warmth of his touch and the intensity of the moment lingering in the air.

You curl up in the comfort of his blankets, replaying the scene that had just taken place over and over again in your head. It only just occurs to you that you and Lee Heeseung had just made out. You place a hand on your chest, feeling the abnormal pattern of your heartbeat and the churning sensation in your stomach; it’s as if a whole zoo has been released inside you.

Exactly like how curiosity killed the cat, you dig relentlessly into the mystery that is Lee Heeseung. You notice that your heart is expanding uncontrollably as you get to know him better. It’s true that you’ve always desired a man to regard you as if you were a miracle, but what you hadn’t anticipated was that you would someday come across a man who actually do.

You smile softly, feeling a sense of connection with him that goes beyond the superficial. In this moment, you realise that despite the façades and the lies, you both are just trying to navigate through life, searching for acceptance and understanding. And maybe, just maybe, you can find that in each other.

Bringing the collar of his hoodie up to your nose, you inhale the comforting scent of Heeseung. You’re so occupied and distracted by everything that has happened tonight that it doesn’t even occur to you how physically and mentally exhausted you are. Without any care in the world, you unconsciously fall into a deep slumber, a subtle smile plastered on your lips as you grip tightly onto the sleeves of his hoodie.

On the other hand, washing up is just an excuse for Heeseung to escape the uninvited sexual tension that arose while you were making out. He closes his eyes, and all he can hear are the words of disappointment his father had said to him before. It scares him. Heeseung leans against the door of his bathroom, hands on his chest, feeling the irregular rhythm of his heartbeat. 

He’s attracted to you, sure, but falling in love? It’s out of the question. 

He takes a deep breath before confidently opening the door, his expression stoic. However, it’s later proved that he’s indeed a bad actor when his eyes soften and a smile unconsciously creeps up his lips as he watches you sleep so carelessly on his bed.

Heeseung sits down gently at the corner of his bed, the fondness in his smile never fading as he listens to the quiet breathing coming from your lips that were so desperately on his just a few minutes ago. He softly brushes a strand of hair aside and tucks it behind your ear, and only then does he notice just how long your eyelashes are.

He scrutinises your face, taking in every little feature he hadn’t noticed before, like the mole hidden right under your lip or the faded scar just above your eyebrow. He traces his finger along your jawline but snaps himself out of it when he realises how close he is to your face.

Sighing, Heeseung brushes a hand through his hair as he considers what he should do with you. Not wanting to wake you up, he tucks you in by throwing a blanket over you and slides onto the other side of his bed, making sure he isn’t too close to you. He lies on his side, staring at you, with millions of thoughts running through his mind. Only after what feels like hours does he slowly feel sleep catching up to him, not able to hear the sound of a car backing into the front porch of his property.

You awaken from your slumber to the blinding sunlight penetrating your eyelids. You lay on your back, unmoving for a while, staring at the ceiling covered in stars and down at the surroundings until you recognise that this isn’t your room. 

You snap your head to the left and almost scream when you see the sleeping figure of Lee Heeseung, his face only inches away from you. His hand is draped around your waist, and his lips are slightly parted—those lips. That’s right, the same lips that were on your very own the night before. You can barely catch yourself staring compellingly at him when you see his lips move.

"Good morning, sunshine," your eyes flicker up to his, finding them open and staring right back at you. A teasing expression creeps up on his face, and you gulp, knowing damn well that he has caught you in your little act. Something about Heeseung seems different this morning—perhaps it's his demeanour. He does seem more confident for some reason. So, why does he suddenly seem more attractive to you?

You shake your thoughts away as you turn your gaze back to the ceiling. "I thought you were going to take me home. What happened?"

"I was, until you decided to sleep like a roaring pig," he chuckles as he slowly sits up from his lying position. "It was impossible to wake you up." Heeseung teases as he tickles your feet, making you jerk them back, a pout forming on your lips.

"I do not snore," you jokingly sneer at him as you lightly kick him in his shin. Heeseung laughs as he gets off the bed, shivering as the cold air comes into contact with his exposed skin. His morning voice throws you off with how deep it is, and you shiver at the tone of his voice. Heeseung then throws on a hoodie and leaves the room without another word.

Is it just you, or is Heeseung pretending as if nothing happened between you two last night? You feel your heart drop in disappointment, but the feeling quickly subsides when Heeseung returns a few minutes later with clothes in his hand—women's clothes.

"These belong to my older sis. Pretty sure you're around the same size," he says, handing you a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. You return the gesture with a smile and slowly begin taking off the hoodie you’ve been wearing since last night. You instantly notice Heeseung turning shy, his gaze momentarily dipping down before he looks away, pointing at your legs as he does so. 

You look down, petrified, realising how far up your dress has ridden, exposing your thighs entirely. 

"Don't look!" you shriek as Heeseung nods and you quickly throw on the clothes he provided over your dress, pleased that they fit just slightly bigger than you.

"Okay, you can look now," your voice is small, clearly embarrassed, but you try to play it cool. Heeseung notices, but he doesn’t pick on you for it.

"Hey, look at that, it fits just right," he smiles with a hint of nostalgia, his eyes tracing over the familiar clothing on a body that’s not so familiar to him.

"I didn't know you had a sister," you say, carelessly folding his hoodie and placing it neatly on the corner of his bed. 

"Yeah, I don't really talk about her that much," he shrugs, picking up his car keys from his bedside table, signaling that he's ready to go whenever you are.

You slowly descend the staircase leading down into the common room, afraid that someone might hear and realise a stranger is in their house. Out of the many times you have been over, you have luckily never run into anyone other than the friendly old lady who greeted you at the front door.

Trailing behind Heeseung, your eyes wander everywhere except where you are going. This explains why you don’t notice Heeseung stopping in his tracks, and you clumsily bump into him. "You can't just stop in the middle of the halls," you grumble, peeking out from behind his shoulders to give him a big scolding. However, your intended reprimand is cut short when you see the reason for his sudden halt: an older man who bears a striking resemblance to Heeseung.

"Lee Heeseung, where are you going?" the man’s voice carries an assertive tone, his haughty demeanour sending shivers down your spine. His mere presence changes the mood in the usually silent house. He looks over at you, scrutinising you from head to toe, and then scoffs, giving you a look of disapproval as if you were caught committing a crime. In that moment, you mentally thank Heeseung for offering you a change of clothes.

Heeseung must notice how uncomfortable you feel under the man’s gaze. He pulls you behind him and shoots the man a glare of his own. "I'm just stepping out for a moment," he says, his usual snarky tone replaced with a nervous one.

"It's been a while since you've had someone over, hasn't it? Why don't you invite your little friend here to stay for some breakfast?" the man suggests with a smile that hides a hint of sarcasm. Who the hell does he think he is to talk to Heeseung like that?

"That won't be necessary, Father," Heeseung replies firmly.

Well fuck, you think, your eyes widening momentarily before you manage to withdraw the confused expression from your face. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Lee," you greet with a bow, trying to sound as calm as possible despite your pounding heartbeat. He barely acknowledges you, responding with a dismissive blink.

"I insist," Mr. Lee speaks with authority, making it clear that this is not a suggestion but a command. Heeseung is about to refute when you quickly interject, "I would love to.

As you make the long journey through the halls to the kitchen, you walk beside Heeseung with your head hanging low. Suddenly, you feel a vibration coming from your back pocket.

He nudges you softly, and you smile. That smile alone reassures Heeseung that everything will be okay because you are right beside him. The simple gesture, so intimate and sincere, calms the turmoil within him.

You sit next to Heeseung at the table, with his father situated across from him. The atmosphere is suffocating, making you feel queasy despite the lavish breakfast spread before you. It’s not just the tension in the air; it’s something about Mr. Lee—something ominous despite his composed demeanour. His presence dominates the room, casting a shadow over the entire meal.

"Eat," Mr. Lee commands, and Heeseung immediately picks up his utensils, stuffing food into his mouth with a mechanical precision. Despite your lack of appetite, you follow suit and start eating, the food tasting like sawdust in your mouth. You try to focus on the act of eating, but the knot in your stomach tightens with every bite.

"I didn't manage to catch your name, girl," Mr. Lee says, his voice dripping with condescension. You look up at him, noticing how even the way he eats is posh and lavish. His every movement exudes an air of superiority, making you feel small and out of place.

"It's Y/L/N Y/N, sir," you respond, your voice barely above a whisper. You hope the trembling in your hands isn’t too obvious as you place your fork down.

"Y/N, don't mind me asking," he continues, taking an elegant bite of scrambled eggs, swallowing, and then wiping his mouth with a handkerchief that probably costs more than the dress you’re wearing underneath. The dress, now drenched in sweat, clings uncomfortably to your skin. "Are you and my son dating by any chance?"

You nearly spit out your coffee, choking on the hot liquid. You’ve just met the man, and he’s already interrogating you, his eyes piercing through your façade. You resist the urge to scoff in his face, reminding yourself that you’re here to keep Heeseung out of trouble, not get him into more. "Sir—"

"We're just friends," Heeseung cuts you off hastily, his voice carrying a slight edge of desperation. You snap your head to look at him, his face a mix of determination and anxiety. It’s not like he’s lying; he’s practically saying what you were planning to. But why do those words leave you feeling so hollow, so disappointed? You try to decipher the look in his eyes, wondering if he feels the same sting of regret.

Yeah, you guys are friends—close friends even! So close that they kiss, make out, and sleep together. The memory of his lips on yours, the way his hands held you so tightly, flashes in your mind. The intimacy of the previous night now feels like a distant dream, overshadowed by the cold reality of Mr. Lee’s scrutiny.

"R-right, we're just friends. There's nothing to worry about," you stutter, still unsure of what you feel at that moment.

"Good," Mr. Lee smiles in satisfaction, his gaze cutting through you. "So, what brings you over so early on a Saturday morning?" His words are a thinly veiled attempt to humiliate you further, but you swallow your pride and respond calmly.

"Did Heeseung not tell you? We’re working on a project together," you say, trying to sound casual.

"Oh? What project, if you do not mind me asking?" Mr. Lee's voice is smooth, but his eyes remain cold and calculating.

"It's for a research project for a psychology presentation," Heeseung interjects quickly, cutting you off before you can respond. “Not like you care what I do in school anyway…” Heeseung’s voice is bitter, and you get the memo that his father probably doesn't know about him taking extra classes on music production over the weekends.

Mr. Lee clears his throat pointedly, a psychological tactic to reassert his dominance. You notice how Heeseung flinches, a small, involuntary movement that breaks your heart. The poor boy is scared shitless, and it infuriates you to think about how much emotional abuse he must have endured to flinch over a mere cough.

"I take it that you're in the same classes as my son?"

"That's right, I'm a senior majoring in psychology."

"If you're ever in a pinch looking for a job after graduating, there's an attachment program in my hospital just for fresh graduates like you, with no experience and connections," Mr. Lee comments. You know the intentions behind his words are far from genuine as you see the distinct flicker of power play in his eyes. And despite the jab affecting you more than you expected, you resist the urge to lash out.

In fact, you laugh in the face of humiliation. You won't show this self-conceited, power-tripping asshole that his words offended you because that would just be giving him what he was looking for—submission to power.

Mr. Lee seems to find it amusing that you aren't shivering in his presence, and that irritates him. "Well, do enlighten me about this research my son was talking about, Y/N." His striking gaze feels like it’s shooting lasers through you, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't scared. For fuck’s sake, you literally just found out about this apparent research project you were supposedly working on, and he wants you to 'enlighten' him?

But come to think about it, It's okay to be scared. It just means you're about to do something really, really brave.

"I would be more than happy to. Our area of research focuses mainly on coercive human behaviours," you smile at him, noticing a slight twitch in his eyes.

"Oh, is that so? What have you learnt so far?" Mr. Lee raises his eyebrows, feigning interest.

"That being a control freak is a weakness, not a strength," you start, noticing his facial expression hardening. "A famous psychologist once said, 'If you can't allow others to shine, you're exhibiting signs of narcissism and showing a lack of self-confidence.'"

"I personally think it's just isolation through ego," you shrug, turning to look at Heeseung. His eyes, which lost their sparkle ever since his father showed up, look at you with so much fondness and admiration that you swear you see the entire galaxy in them.

"I think that's all the time I have for today. Excuse me, for I am a busy man," Mr. Lee stands up from his seat a little too aggressively, and for the first time since you met him, he falters.

"Thank you for the wonderful meal, Mr. Lee," you calmly stand from your seat, reaching out your hand to him. He reluctantly takes it in his own, forcing a smile that almost makes you burst out in laughter.

"Thank you for the wonderful company and insightful conversation, Y/N."

"The pleasure is all mine," you reply, maintaining your composure even as he exits the room.

#3 - The Paradox

You sprawl over in your own bed, tangling up in your blanket as you recall the events of that Saturday morning. You must've been crazy, drugged even, to have had that much courage to stand up to his father like that. You, who couldn't even say 'no' to your own friends, lost your temper over something like that? It must've been a fever dream.

Except it wasn't, and you lie there in disbelief, cursing yourself for making such a bold decision. Maybe Heeseung was right—you really were an idiot. You think back about what made you so angry and every conclusion leads to one thing (or person, actually): Lee Heeseung.

You can't bear to see him so helpless and afraid in front of someone who is supposed to be his father. Someone who literally gave life to him was making him feel like he couldn't even be safe at home. It angers you and, thus, scares you because you care about him more than you ever realised. Because caring about someone means being vulnerable, and you've never been good at that.

You tell yourself that it didn't have to be Heeseung—that for anybody else in that same predicament, you would have acted and felt the same. You convince yourself that what happened was your guilty conscience talking, your sense of justice prevailing, or literally anything that fits the narrative. You fail to consider that, hey, maybe you do have a soft spot for him.

Sure, you care about the boy since he is someone you can lean on and be yourself around. So why does every thought about him lead back to you on his lap, hands on his chest, and his lips on your own?

Your fingers absentmindedly reach up, landing on your lips as you fondle them. You notice how chapped they are and mentally cringe at the possibility that they were in this condition when you and Heeseung made out.

There it is again—the sound of your heartbeat pounding vigorously against your chest. It was just a kiss. You've had plenty of those, so why is it that when it comes to Heeseung, you can't seem to get rid of that churning feeling in your stomach?

That feeling scares you. So, you avoid him.

Heeseung has texted you multiple times over the past few days, asking if you wanted to come over to continue with your project. You've exhausted almost every excuse possible to avoid doing so. Partially because you don't want to risk running into his father again, but mainly because you're running away from your feelings—feelings that you are already subconsciously aware of, just buried deep within you.

Each excuse you send feels more feeble than the last. "Got a lot of homework." "Feeling under the weather." "Have to help Chaewon with something." You know Heeseung isn't buying it, but he doesn't push. Each time, he responds with understanding, though you can almost sense the disappointment in his texts.

Every time your phone buzzes with a new message from him, your heart skips a beat. You can’t help but read his messages over and over, your mind replaying the scene in his room. You remember how his eyes softened when he looked at you, how his touch sent shivers down your spine.

The more you think about it, the more you realise that avoiding him isn't going to make these feelings disappear. It's not going to make your heart stop racing or your stomach stop fluttering. You can't keep pretending that what happened didn't matter.

I made a little room in my heart. You, who I can't forget, is standing there. I open that door, so that your voice that I long for calls me...

"Y/L/N Y/N!" The familiar voice jolts you back to reality, followed by a series of knocks at your front door. You frown, not expecting any visitors on a weekday evening. As far as you know, only Chaewon, Yunjin, Sakura, and your parents know where you live.

Dragging your feet to the door, you check the mini tablet and see Lee Heeseung standing on the other side. What the fuck? It comes back to you that Heeseung has walked you home plenty of times, some days even to your front door after you insisted that he didn't need to.

You mentally panic as you scrutinise your appearance in the full-length mirror by the door, grimacing at your musty attire and the messy bun your hair is tied up in. You look... awake at best.

"Y/N? I swear to God I heard something." Heeseung's voice echoes through the intercom, and the panicky feeling settles in even more. You think to yourself that he came all the way here to see you; you can't possibly leave him stranded outside like that. After another knock on your door, you give in, unlocking it and coming face-to-face with the very man you've been avoiding all week.

"About time," Heeseung smirks, catching a view of you in all your glory. You roll your eyes and step aside to let him into your humble abode.

"What are you doing here?" you ask, trying to sound nonchalant.

"To see you," he shrugs, as you look away, blushing. Not that it mattered anyway, since Heeseung is concentrating on taking his shoes off carefully to avoid creasing them.

"We see each other in school. You didn't have to come all the way here," you say, eyebrows raised, still unsure of his true motives. It wasn't unusual for you and Heeseung to be together in an enclosed space, just the two of you, but something feels different than before. An atmosphere that only started presenting itself after your shared kiss the other day.

"Yeah, but not when you're literally avoiding me," he replies, squinting his eyes at you. You mentally face-palm, realising he already knew what you were doing.

"I was not!"

"Sure, princess, anything you say." Your heart skips a beat at his new nickname for you, and you almost overlook the slight hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Though I would believe otherwise when you literally looked at me and turned the other way that day in the cafeteria."

"I didn't even see you... besides, I was rushing off to run an errand somewhere," you lie, though your alibi isn't solid enough to justify it. "So, you do remember what happened." He leans in close to you with a cheeky smile that you hadn't realised you missed over the few days you hadn't seen him.

"Gosh, you're intolerable," you mutter, putting a reasonable distance between Heeseung and yourself as you brisk-walk timidly over to your sofa.

"I know, you've told me that twenty-three times now," he says, genuinely surprising you that he was even keeping count of the things you say to him. Heeseung thinks to himself if he was always this attentive to detail or if it was just because of you.

You sit down on the sofa, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, trying to steady your racing thoughts. Heeseung follows, sitting beside you, his presence both comforting and nerve-wracking.

"Though I'm really here to see you, I would also like to remind you that there's a project of some sort due in two weeks," Heeseung smirks, and you playfully roll your eyes.

"I would have you know that I did not forget, which is why I've been working on the melody in my own free time. In fact, I was even singing it right before you so abruptly barged into my apartment."

"Barged?" Heeseung scoffs, picking up a pillow and throwing it at you, purposely aiming higher so it'd fly over your head. You laugh, feeling a warm sensation spreading from your chest to the rest of your body.

"Okay, rockstar, then show me what you got." He passes you a half-filled water bottle, presumably for you to use as a microphone. Heeseung wants you to sing, right now, in front of him?

"Hell no."

"Oh, come on, you do know we have to actually record it, right? I'll hear you sing sooner or later," he tries to convince you. To be honest, you still aren't very confident. You aren't tone-deaf, thankfully, but definitely not the best singer out there. The only other person you've ever sung to was your grandmother, and that was when you were ten years old.

"Fine," you huff. "You're not allowed to laugh though."

Heeseung cackles and nods to reassure you, which doesn't really help, but it's the intention that counts. You close your eyes and begin singing the lyrics to one of the verses you wrote the other day.

In this unstable world, when there was no place to stand. It held me from somewhere, that invisible touch. Once again I want your warm embrace, I'll go and find you...

The words flow out, surprisingly smoothly, the melody carrying them effortlessly. You lose yourself in the song for a moment, forgetting Heeseung is even there. 

Heeseung once again finds all his senses bewitched by you; his eyes wander over your features as you sing, his nose drowning in the homely scent of you, and his ears captivated by the melancholic tone in your voice. He hears you sing for the first time, and it's almost angelic. As you had said, you're not the best singer, but that distinct sharpness in your voice makes it impossible for Heeseung to get it off his mind.

Heeseung finds himself reaching his hand out to you, unable to resist your magnetic pull as he you finish off the next line.

Your warm breath, dazzling smile. When I close my eyes, I feel you, I believe you...

You feel a warm touch rest upon your cheeks, and instinctively lean into it, seeking the comforting warmth in the approaching winter. Your eyes flutter open, wincing at the sudden waves of bright light that blur your vision. Gradually, as your sight clears, it focuses on one person alone, eclipsing everything else around you. Before you sits a masterpiece, captivating your attention entirely.

Heeseung finds himself ensnared in the stars of your eyes, momentarily delirious as he glimpses a whole other galaxy within them—a black hole drawing him closer to you. Then, amidst the cosmic symphony, he hears it—the mingling of your heartbeat with his own. His heart, accustomed to beating for himself, now beats for someone else, and it only takes a mere millisecond for him to realise he has fallen in love with you.

It also takes a mere millisecond for the image of his father to intrude upon his thoughts. 

Heeseung insisted on driving you back to your apartment that day, but you were adamant about him staying. You didn't want him to get into any more trouble because of you. However, it never occurred to you that he might just have wanted to leave with you just to escape his father's presence.

As you bid him goodbye and walked off his front porch, his father's voice echoed from behind Heeseung in a low whisper, "Cut off contact after this project of yours. Don't disappoint me, son."

Heeseung withdrew his hand from your face in a panic, and you, seeking the warmth you had just lost, leaned forward in a futile attempt to recapture it.

"Hey, what's wrong?" you ask, concern lacing your voice as you notice tears streaming down Heeseung's face. He frantically hides his face in the sleeves of his sweater, seemingly trying to shield his vulnerability from you as he does not want you worrying. 

Rightfully so, because you are worried. The last thing you expect when Heeseung shows up at your doorstep is to see him cry. Hell, you didn’t even know he had the ability to shed tears. Part of you wonders if you're somehow the cause of his tears, stirring up feelings of guilt within you.

"Was my singing so horrible that you burst into tears, Heeseung?" you try to lighten the mood with a joke, hoping to bring some comfort to the situation. You're relieved to hear a faint snort from behind his sweater paws, indicating that your attempt at humor isn't entirely lost on him. Still, you can't shake off the concern gnawing at you.

Instinctively, you reach out and grasp his wrist, delicately shifting aside his sweater to expose his tear-streaked face. His eyes are swollen, and his nose is red, the sight pulling at your heartstrings to witness him in such visible distress. "Didn't know you were such a crybaby," you say lightly, hoping to lighten the mood even more as you brush away a fresh tear that teeters on the edge of his cheek.

"You look like my bestie Rudolph!" you tease, lightly poking his nose. He scrunches it up, his lips forming a pout as he watches you caress his face, a hint of a smile breaking through his sadness.

"One might think you actually care for me," Heeseung murmurs, voicing his thoughts. You’re taken aback, the question echoing in your mind, both heart and mind answering: yes.

"If you know that already, then don't ever cry like this in front of me again," you say gently, your thumb tracing soothing circles on his cheeks. Your eyes search his face for any sign that he wants you to stop, but you find none. Instead, Heeseung leans in and plants a chaste peck on your lips, catching you by surprise. The warmth of his lips lingers, mingling with the salty taste of his tears. You purse your lips and cringe slightly, lightheartedly pushing him away as he laughs, the sound like music to your ears.

Heeseung, feeling an urgent need to be closer to you, grabs your legs and places them across his lap, positioning you to face him. The sudden movement startles you, but you quickly settle, bending your knees and leaning against them as you stare up at him. From this angle, you notice the sharpness of his nose, the slight stubble on his chin, and the way his eyes, now clear of tears, hold a depth of emotion that tugs at your heartstrings.

As you study his features, you’re overwhelmed by a rush of feelings. The boy who always seemed so strong and composed now looks at you with such raw vulnerability that it breaks and mends your heart simultaneously. Heeseung’s gaze is equally intense, his eyes exploring your face as if memorising every detail. He seems entranced, lost in your siren eyes as though he’s seeing you for the first time.

"Will you tell me why you suddenly cried now?" you ask softly, concern lacing your voice. A brief silence falls between you as Heeseung contemplates whether to come clean. You wait patiently, playing with the ring on his pinky finger, not wanting to push his boundaries if he isn’t ready to speak.

"Remember how I told you I have an older sister?" Heeseung begins, his gaze drifting past your eyes into a sea of nothingness. "Her name is Lee Hae-yi."

Heeseung giggles as he recalls details about his sister, and you look at him fondly. "She takes after our mother a lot. It's something I've always been envious of. Hae-yi, she's incredible. We had many similar interests growing up, and she was somehow always better than me at everything we did. She's my biggest role model. I'd give the entire world for her to be happy." His face brightens at the mention of his sister, and you find yourself envious of the sibling bond he has with her, wishing you had a sibling of your own.

"My father wants me to take over the company when he retires, but she’s the one that deserves it, not me. I have no intention of running the company, but he's very adamant about me being the one to do it." Heeseung sighs, tightening his grip on your hand. "Even though the entire family can see that my sister is the natural-born leader—it’s the only quality she takes after my father. But he refuses to leave it in her hands. He says a woman can never hold leadership positions or other misogynistic bullshit. So, my father sent her away to the States, told her to study there and someday prove herself to him."

"He was never going to give her a chance in the first place, and she knew it, but she went anyway..." Heeseung pauses, and your eyes shoot up when you hear him sniffle. "She left because of me. Now I can't go on another day knowing she probably hates me for taking her spot that she worked her entire life for." A lone tear escapes the crevices of his eye, and you reach up to swipe it away, your palm resting on his face as he leans into your warmth. 

"My father has a reputation to uphold, and I am naturally a part of that reputation. He expects me to be the perfect son, even if it's pretentious. I became the person I am and do the things I do as an act of defiance. I didn't want to feel like he had full control over me," Heeseung smiles solemnly, finally making eye contact with you after fully exposing every detail about himself and his story. It hits you that the things you knew about him were only surface-level problems and that they actually ran much deeper than just Jake.

"Don't you ever just want to stop everything and be free?" you ask foolishly. Heeseung giggles at your innocence, unknowingly breaking your heart a little more.

"Of course I do, but I won’t suffer the consequences alone. To my father, his career comes first, and everything else falls in line after."

"Even family?" you ask, incredulous. Heeseung nods, and your lips part, wanting to say something, but you decide against it and return to listening attentively.

"That man would do anything to defend what's important to him, even if it means hurting his own blood. I can't—won't—allow the people I care about to suffer because of my actions, even if it means playing a pawn in his little game." Heeseung caresses your hand, drawing circles in the centre of your palm. You grin and push the hair covering his eyes away from his face, noting the softness of his hair and the way it falls perfectly even when dishevelled.

"Thank you, Heeseung, for telling me this," you say, your voice filled with sincerity. Although you want to argue that he should fight for his freedom and not live for the sake of others, you can't bring yourself to tell him that, because you are doing the exact same thing.

"No, thank you for listening, Y/N.”

"Well, if running a company isn't your forté, what do you actually want to do?" you ask, hoping to take his mind off his very pressing situation. You watch him closely, noticing the way his expression shifts to one of even deeper regret.

"I think you already have some sort of an idea," he replies, managing a small smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "I want to be a singer-songwriter."

"That surprisingly kind of suits you, Mr. Idol," you laugh, reaching out to pinch his cheeks. He puffs them up, making you lose your grip, and you can't help but smile at his playful defiance. Leaning down, he gently pushes you back onto the sofa, his hand supporting the small of your back as he towers over you. Your hair sprawls over the cushion beneath you as you look up at him, your breathing becoming uneven from the sudden closeness.

As you gaze into his eyes, you feel an undeniable connection. Everything the two of you do feels so natural; from the hand-holding to the hugging to the kissing even. It's as if you two are actually dating, but you aren't. It feels almost too perfect, too seamless. That alone feels wrong, how it comes so naturally even though you have no labels. 

You close your eyes, expecting your lips to meet his again, but instead, you feel his warm lips gently press against your forehead. The unexpected tenderness makes your heart swell, and when your eyes flutter open, you see his own staring back at you with an intensity that takes your breath away. He gazes at you as if you are the most precious thing in the world, and it sends shivers down your spine.

You giggle softly as he snuggles into your neck, his hand wrapping around your waist protectively. You make space for him on the couch, allowing him to fit perfectly beside you. With your face buried in his chest, his chin resting on top of your head, and his arms wrapped securely around your small frame, you feel a profound sense of peace wash over you. His warmth seeps into your skin, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you finally feel safe.

One question constantly replays itself in your mind as you slowly drift off into a deep slumber. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your ear is both soothing and grounding. In the hushed quiet of the room, you whisper, "What are we?"

The question hangs in the air, laden with all the emotions and uncertainties you've been grappling with. You feel his arms tighten around you, a silent promise of protection and something more. As you drift into sleep, the thought lingers, a beacon of hope and a source of fear all at once.

That morning, as you gradually awaken to the muted light filtering through your window, you're met with an emptiness beside you that's both physical and emotional. The warmth lingering in the vacant space beside you feels like a cruel reminder of Heeseung's absence, and it weighs heavily on your heart. The realisation that he left without a word of farewell hits you like a punch to the gut, leaving you disheartened and bewildered.

Before you have a chance to fully process his departure, the bright rays of the morning sun illuminate your living room, casting warm hues across the space. The sudden awareness of the time jolts you into action, and you curse under your breath at the realisation that you're running late for class.

"Curse you, Lee Heeseung," you groan, quickly ripping the blanket covering your body away and scrambling to your feet, feeling lightheaded from the sudden movement.

"Good morning, sunshine," your head instantly whips around at the familiar voice you were longing for just a few seconds again, momentarily taken aback before relief floods your senses. 

"I thought you left," you murmur, the words tinged with a mixture of hurt and longing, though you try to keep your tone neutral. He smirks, sensing the disappointment in your voice. Oh, how you wish you could rip that sweet sweet smile off his face..

"Why? Were you disappointed because you thought I left?" Heeseung's teasing tone irks you, stirring up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. His smirk only serves to deepen your irritation, fueling a desire to push back against his playful demeanour.

"Jerk," you grumble and Heeseung laughs, finding your sulking expression adorable.

"Who's the crybaby now, huh?" Heeseung's playful jab catches you off guard, eliciting a scoff as you feign nonchalance.

"I'm not even crying, idiot," you retort, a mixture of amusement and exasperation colouring your words as you shoot him a playful glare. Heeseung giggles and carefully pulls you into a warm embrace, as if you’re a piece of fragile glass, afraid that even the slightest pressure might make you crumble.

It’s official—You and Heeseung are in a situationship. If someone were to ask you how it feels to have something you wanted so badly just within reach yet still fail to grasp it, you'd tell them it feels absolutely shitty.

It bothers you how he doesn't seem to mind that your relationship has no label, yet he still initiates things that only couples do. You're conflicted; your heart tells you one thing, but your mind tells you another, and you can't seem to decide which feeling to follow. The only thing you're certain of is that you want to be by his side.

It's a tangled web of emotions, one that Heeseung and you are both ensnared in. He knows it's complicated. He'd be a liar if he said he didn't want to be with you, close to you. But that courage to stand up against his father seems to evade him every time he tries to grasp it. Every time Heeseung closes his eyes, attempting to convince himself to fight for what he wants, his father's image intrudes his thoughts, and he’s back at square one all over again. It’s an endless cycle he can’t break out of. So, instead of making promises he knows damn well he can’t keep, he keeps you close to him under the guise of a research project that is only going to last a mere week.

As promised to his father, after one week, you'll be gone from his life, and vice versa. It's for the best, or at least that's what Heeseung has convinced himself of, that one week is all he needs to psycho himself into believing he doesn't need you; like the two of you never even met.

Except you did, and now you know each other's deepest, darkest secrets. But he knows you wouldn’t tell a soul, and likewise for himself. Then again, Heeseung is making all these decisions on his own, assuming that you’d be perfectly okay with it when the time comes around.

The ambiguity of your relationship with Heeseung leaves you grappling with questions that have no easy answers. As you try to make sense of it all, you can't help but wonder if he's aware of the turmoil brewing within you.

It's a silent struggle, one that you keep hidden beneath a façade of normalcy. It's almost funny how when you thought he didn't stay, you were hurt; when you realised he didn't actually leave, you were still hurt because you knew deep down that you couldn't hold onto him forever. Yet, amidst the confusion, there's a glimmer of hope, a fleeting sense of connection that keeps drawing you back to him, despite the looming deadline that threatens to tear you apart.

Saturday arrives, and for once, you find yourself declining your friends' invitation to attend the weekly parties. They're disappointed sure, but you reassure yourself that missing one party won't be detrimental to anyone. Chaewon did notice your frequent moments of distraction and introspection, behaviours she's never observed in you before. You brush off her concerns, attributing your preoccupation to stress over upcoming projects and submission deadlines. After all, it's your final semester.

Sunghoon also picks up on your behavioural changes, especially when you're around Heeseung. To him, you appear shy, like a kindergarten kid experiencing their first crush. However, he knows you well enough to anticipate that you'd argue otherwise if he were to express his observations.

Meanwhile, you find yourself spending most of your time in Heeseung's bedroom, working on a song that holds no academic value. You vaguely remember how you were dreading even thinking about this project and just wanting to get it over with, hell, you were even willing to turn in a nursery rhyme if the situation calls for it. With that thought, you chuckle to yourself as you sit in your usual spot on Heeseung’s bed, enveloped in the familiar scent of Teakwood and cigarettes lingering in the sweater that embraced you.

"Thoughts about singing the last chorus together?" Heeseung skillfully tucks the pencil he was just using behind his ear as he swivels around on his chair from his table to face you. 

"You sure about that? I'm afraid I might outshine you." You comically brush your loose hair and shoot him a smirk, prompting him to jokingly roll his eyes back at you. "Is that so, Ms. Mariah Carey?"

"On a serious note, I really think singing the last chorus makes the song sound, I don't know... more desperate?"

"I see your point. Though I would hate to ruin the climax of the song with my horrendous singing, if Mr. Future K-pop Star says so, I have to do it." You smirk again when Heeseung scoffs before breaking out into small fits of laughter—laughter that sounds like music to your ears. "I can't take you seriously." He swivels back to face the computer displaying the music editing software. Your song is in its final stages of production before you and Heeseung can go ahead and record the demo, and it's one demo away before Heeseung has to completely cut you out of his life as promised.

The mere thought of letting go fills his heart with unease and uncertainty, crossing his mind during the day or even right before he falls asleep. Every fibre of his being resists the notion of parting ways, as if holding on tighter could somehow freeze time and preserve the precious connection you share.

In the quiet depths of his heart, Heeseung finds himself surreptitiously gazing at you, consumed by an overwhelming affection while struggling with the bittersweet truth that letting go may be an inevitable choice, but one he's not yet ready to make.

The universe is a paradox. Some might believe that even though a person eventually dies, your relationship with them doesn't, as it will live on forever, never changing. However, the truth about forever? It doesn't exist. Nothing lasts forever. Not you, your feelings, your relationships, the sun, the moon, or even the galaxies. Although forever has no meaning when one is living in the moment, and you, for one, aren't ready for that moment to end.

At the end of the day, the absolute truth is that all this shit about 'nothing lasts forever' is just an excuse for both of your lack of courage and commitment because those who truly want to be together find a way to make it happen.

In an inconspicuous outbuilding situated in the family's backyard, the hallways are unusually clean yet dark. Heeseung explains that the building is being used as sleeping quarters for the housemaids, which explains the customised doors that line the halls. He also mentions it's the only part of the house where he could actually build a recording studio without his father finding out.

You step into the recording booth, the air humming with anticipation as the padded walls cocoon you in a world of sound. With a pair of headphones hugging your ears, you feel the rhythm pulsate through your veins, while the microphone stands tall, poised to capture every nuance of your voice. The word 'nervous' is more than an understatement for what you're feeling at the moment as you watch Heeseung's every move on the other side of the tempered glass. It's endearing to say the least, watching the boy thrive in his element, right where he belongs.

You jump a little as you hear his voice coming out from the speakers in the booth, "You ready?" You find Heeseung looking at you with confidence, maybe more than you have for yourself. You feel the pressure, and Heeseung knows that the only thing he can do is show you that he believes in you. Heeseung is right because something about his unspoken trust assures you, even gives you that little boost of self-confidence you need as you sing your lines in the first verse.

Tears filled with regrets flow unconsciously. I wish I could follow to wherever and flow somewhere. In that warm sunlight, I want to let myself go, so that I can meet you...

Almost on instinct, Heeseung leans in, captivated by every word that leaves your lips, his gaze fixed upon you as your melodic voice fills the room. Every note, every accentuation, every lyric, is delicately captured by his ears as if he's savouring a rare delicacy.

At that moment, the world around him fades into a distant murmur, leaving only the desperate purity of your singing. He listens not only with his ears but with his heart, appreciating the beauty of your voice and the story it conveys. His face reflects a mixture of awe and admiration, mirroring the emotions woven into each line you sing. 

The room is filled with an unspoken connection, a shared language that transcends words. In this tender exchange of sound, Heeseung embraces your vulnerability, your strength, and the extraordinary power you have over him.

You're one star, that's your name

You finish off the last line of the song before realising you had your eyes closed the entire time. Turning to look at Heeseung, who has an unfathomable expression on his face, you know singing wasn't your forte, but it couldn't have been so bad to the point he looked like he was about to cry. "So... did I do okay?" The sound of your voice brings Heeseung back from whatever futile thoughts he had running through his head, focusing on the present—on you.

"You were amazing, princess," Heeseung says, and you blush upon hearing the nickname he gave you. Although it isn't the first time, you still feel light-headed whenever he uses it. "I'll take whatever compliment I can get," you comment, and he smiles lightly to himself, replaying the recording so you can hear it for yourself. Heeseung was right; you weren't half-bad after all.

After re-recording some parts and unwillingly adding in adlibs as per Heeseung's request, this time you find yourself in the producer's seat while Heeseung stands behind the microphone, which he had to readjust to fit his height. It's no surprise that he manages to record everything in such a short period of time with very minimal mistakes. Once again, you catch a glimpse of the Heeseung who can do anything if he puts his heart and mind into it.

This is your first time recording a song, and you're pretty sure it shouldn't be this easy. You were mentally preparing yourself for the insults that he would throw at you. However, considering this is just for a mere ungraded school project, you think maybe that's why Heeseung isn't picking on every little flaw like he would any other project. Then again, the Heeseung you know is a perfectionist, so being able to leave the recording studio unscathed is a mystery for not only you but also Heeseung himself.

"I can't believe we actually finished this song," you remark as you stroll alongside Heeseung in the hallway, a slight spring in your steps. Heeseung grins, carefully matching his pace with yours, still attentively listening to your speech of accomplishment.

"The night is still young. I say we take our celebrations to the party at Sunoo’s. You could finally meet my friends so they can stop having this false perception of you. What do you think?" You turn on your heels to face him, half-expecting an excited expression on his face, so you are taken aback when a lone tear falls past his cheek.

"Heeseung-ah..." Without a second thought, you pull him into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry, I said that without thinking. We don't have to go. Let's stay in and watch a movie instead, hm?" Heeseung shakes his head beside you, and you pull away just enough to catch sight of his face. "No, I'm not crying because of that, don't worry."

"Then what is it about?"

"I'm just... happy, that's all."

"You're so precious, you know that?" You hold his face between your cold hands as you stare into his eyes, neither of you willing to look away first. You lean in and gently kiss the freshly escaped teardrop as if the essence of sorrow itself had been distilled into this tiny, tasteable form. "This is the second time I caught you crying, that's twice more than me." He giggles as he gently grabs your hands into the palm of his own. "Let's go."

"Great! I have this movie I really wanted to-"

"No, Y/N, let's go meet your friends."

With a heavy heart and a bittersweet urgency, Heeseung embraces the knowledge that your time together is drawing to a close. The impending separation looms, but he clings to a precious sliver of time, determined to make it count, even if it means sacrificing everything to see you smile one last time.

You give Heeseung the address to Sunoo’s place and tell him to meet you in front of his house. Standing outside in your off-shoulder top, you take yet another glance at your watch—10 minutes past your agreed meeting time. Anxiety creeps in, mingling with the chilly night air, as you wonder if he'll show up or if this was a mistake.

You come to a consensus that you should've known better than to convince Heeseung to go partying with you after everything he did to hide that fact from everyone. Guilt gnaws at you, knowing you may have pushed him out of his comfort zone, and you wouldn’t even blame him if he decided to bail on you.

You text Chaewon, asking her where they are so you can go ahead and look for them, but you receive no response. You figure she's probably having too much fun to pay attention to her phone.

Freezing and desperate for a glass of alcohol to numb your nerves, you make your way into the house. Inside, it pulses with energy as vibrant music fills the air, its rhythmic beats reverberating through the packed living room. Colourful lights flash and dance across the room, casting an enchanting glow on the eclectic crowd that has gathered for a night of revelry. The dance floor is a sea of motion, a kaleidoscope of bodies writhing to the infectious tunes, and you make a mental note not to lose yourself in the bustling crowd this evening.

Approaching the open bar, you pour yourself a cup of beer to kick off the night. The cool liquid soothes your parched throat, offering a momentary reprieve from the chaos around you. It's ironic, really, now that you think about it, because no matter how hard you try to escape or manifest excuses out of thin air, you always end up back here with a beer in hand, willingly or not.

As much as you've convinced yourself that you certainly weren't made for the nightlife, you can't deny that you stand out amidst the sea of people. Maybe sometimes, you actually do have fun, more than you'd let yourself believe.

As you take a sip from your cup, you feel a hand on your lower back, causing you to almost jerk forward. "Hey baby, you here alone?" Turning around, you find a young man in a button-up shirt that accentuates his physique. The strong smell of alcohol emanating from him indicates that he's already quite drunk, even though it's barely 8 PM.

"I'm actually here with some friends, thanks for asking," you respond politely, trying to maintain composure despite the uncomfortable situation. However, your patience wears thin as you feel him inching closer. "Can't a lady have her personal space?" you retort, your tone growing irritated as you notice his offensive scrutiny of your attire.

But he brushes off your discomfort, continuing to leer at you. "Come on, don't act like you hate it. You're basically asking for it, I mean look at this dress..." His words trail off as he shamelessly scrutinises your appearance, his hand still firmly planted on your back. Feeling increasingly uneasy, you shift uncomfortably under his gaze, and he takes advantage of your vulnerability by leaning in closer, his breath uncomfortably close to your ear.

You despise how some men automatically assume they're entitled to your attention or affection, simply because of how you're dressed. You know that physically fighting back would likely escalate the situation, especially since he appears much stronger than you. Not wanting to cause a scene in the bar, you consider threatening to call the police as a last resort.

Before you can take action, however, a sudden commotion erupts nearby, and the man is forcibly pulled away from you. Relief washes over you as you realise that someone has intervened, sparing you from further discomfort.

"She has a boyfriend." Your head snaps to the source of the voice, finding Heeseung glaring daggers at the man.

"Heeseung," you call out softly. He turns to you, searching your eyes for any sign of disapproval. When he finds none, he breathes a sigh of relief.

"Should have known it was too good to be true," the man mutters, ruffling his hair in clear frustration. You can't help but laugh, realising you're probably just one of many attempts he's made tonight. Heeseung walks up beside you at the bar, pouring a drink before turning to you.

"Didn't think I'd show up?" he asks, noticing the stunned expression on your face. You nod, still watching him, grateful for his intervention.

"So you're my boyfriend now?" you smirk, taking another sip from your cup to mask the fluttering feeling in your chest. Heeseung laughs, a bit embarrassed, and takes a sip from his own drink.

"Why? You like the sound of that?" he teases.

It's almost comical. You wouldn't take crap from any other man, not even Sunghoon or Jay, but you’d let this man openly tease you about your ongoing situationship. Yet, you willingly succumb yourself to the fluttering feeling in your chest.

"You don't?" you retort boldly. Your response catches Heeseung off guard, and he nearly chokes on his drink. As you laugh at his reaction, you notice a fleeting look of panic and sorrow on his face. The thought that he does like the idea of being your boyfriend crosses his mind, only dampened by the reality that this might be his last chance to be this close to you.

You're about to push the joke even further when a familiar voice calls out. "Y/N!" You turn to see Chaewon and Sakura making their way towards you from the corner where your friends are gathered. Their overjoyed expressions slowly morph into confusion as they notice Heeseung standing beside you.

You wonder why Chaewon and Sakura seem so confused—it’s not like they didn't know you were hanging around Heeseung. Then, as you really take in his appearance for the first time that night, you realise he’s dressed up for the occasion. He’s wearing a black graphic tee with a blazer thrown on haphazardly, his hair carefully parted down the centre, and his iconic round glasses are gone, no longer perched on his nose. This is the Lee Heeseung you first noticed at that club all those months back.

It slowly hits you: this is the first time your friends are seeing him outside of his usual nerdy persona.

"Lee?" Chaewon questions, eyebrows furrowed as she wraps her hand around Sakura's arm, nudging her. Heeseung smiles awkwardly and gives you a knowing look, silently asking you to act like you forced him to come (which, technically, you did).

"Chaewon, Sakura. I don’t think you two have officially met. This is Lee Heeseung." Chaewon subtly tilts her head, clearly puzzled as to why the academy's top student is at a frat party on a Saturday evening. "I wanted to have some fun after finishing our project, so I dragged him here," you explain hastily, hoping neither of them notices the little white lie.

"Wow, you really dressed him up nicely," Sakura remarks, her backhanded compliment making you roll your eyes as you quietly mouth curses at her.

"Come on, let’s introduce you to the gang," Chaewon cuts in just before the atmosphere turns awkward, and you mentally thank her for being the angel she is.

You sense Heeseung stiffen beside you, so you take his hand to reassure him that your friends are nice. Not that he doubted their kindness; he just doubted they’d want him there. However, he did say he'd come to meet your friends, so he doesn't resist.

With eager anticipation, you lead him into the heart of your cherished social circle, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness as your two worlds collide. You can't help but steal glances at Heeseung, who seems to be taking in everything with cautious curiosity. Your friends, too, look intrigued, if not a bit taken aback, by his transformation.

It’s awkward at first, but after some drinks and a few icebreakers, Heeseung starts to warm up to your friends, and vice versa. Yunjin, in particular, gets more comfortable with him than you’d like. Knowing her, it’s probably her attempt at flirting with Heeseung now that he’s the hot guy at the party everyone wants a piece of. You don’t expect any better from Yunjin, but Heeseung? He gladly reciprocates her flirtatious attempts, even black knight drinks for her whenever she loses one of your drinking games.

You’ve been sending Heeseung death glares, which he’d notice if only he spared you a glance or two in the last fifteen minutes. The word 'jealousy' is an understatement at this point. But then again, why would you be jealous? It’s not like the two of you are dating. But you did get close to him first. You know his little secret, you slept on his bed, heck, you even made out with him. You, not Yunjin, not Chaewon, not Sakura, and certainly not Jay or Sunghoon. So why are you getting the least attention from him among everyone else?

Frustrated, you pull out your phone and send him a piece of your mind. His phone vibrates on the table, but he doesn’t notice it. Pettily, you kick him in the shin under the table, and he lets out a yelp. You signal to his phone, and he checks it, smirking when he sees the content.

Heeseung excuses himself first, and you follow a few minutes later, claiming you’re going to get more drinks for everyone. Your friends are already past the boundary between sober and drunk, and they probably don’t even hear you. If they do, they’re too intoxicated to process it in their heads fast enough before you leave.

You squeeze yourself between the messy tango of people in the house until you reach the base of the staircase. Upstairs has fewer people, though most of them are likely looking for an empty room to complete their seven minutes in heaven with a stranger they just met. You find Heeseung leaning against the ledge overlooking the ground floor, and you just stand and admire him in all his glory until he finally notices you.

“Took you long enough,” Heeseung teases, reaching a hand out for you to hold, and you do just that. He pulls you in closer, spinning you around against the ledge so you’re now trapped between it and him. His arms press against either side of you, leaving you with nowhere to run, not that you would if given the chance.

“Never knew The Y/L/N Y/N could get jealous so easily. I must have overestimated you.” He leans in, and you can smell the vivid scent of alcohol mixed with cigarettes edged onto the fabric of his clothes.

“I told you, I’m not jealous.” You roll your eyes, trying to mask the fact that he’s hit the nail on the head.

“Oh, really?” Heeseung’s voice is a low murmur, his breath warm against your ear. “Then why were you glaring at me like that?”

“I just didn’t like seeing Yunjin all over you,” you admit, your voice softer than you intended. The truth slips out before you can stop it, and you feel a rush of vulnerability.

Heeseung chuckles, a sound that vibrates through you. “Well, I’m sorry that you felt like I wasn’t giving you enough attention. You have it all now.”

Your heart flutters at his words, and you look up at him, searching his face for any hint of insincerity. But all you see is the same boy who has become so important to you, looking at you with a mixture of amusement and affection.

“You’re impossible,” you mumble, a smile tugging at your lips despite yourself.

He shifts his hands to hold you firmly on your sides, not breaking eye contact for a second. “Am I holding on to you like you’re precious now?” You mentally cringe at yourself for having sent him that text. Not wanting to give him that satisfaction, you purposely ignore the question.

Heeseung smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “My precious princess,” he murmurs, closing the distance between you. His lips capture yours in a kiss that’s both gentle and passionate, and you feel yourself melting into him.

In that moment, the noise of the party fades away, leaving just the two of you in your own little world. And as Heeseung’s arms wrap around you, holding you close, you come to terms with the feeling that yes you do, you feel precious.

#4 - The Fallout

The night ends in a blur of emotions and stolen moments, the memory of Heeseung’s kiss lingering on your lips as you part ways. Heeseung walks you to your door, his hand lingering on yours before he finally lets go, promising to text you later. You watch him disappear into the night, a warm feeling settling in your chest despite the cold air.

But Heeseung’s warmth is replaced by a chilling reality when he arrives home. The house is dark and quiet, a stark contrast to the vibrant energy of the party. Heeseung tiptoes through the hallway, trying to avoid waking anyone, but the creak of a floorboard betrays him.

“Lee Heeseung.”

The voice is cold and sharp, freezing Heeseung in his tracks. He turns to see his father standing at the top of the stairs, the dim light casting a shadow over his face. His father’s stern expression is enough to drain any remaining warmth from Heeseung’s veins.

“Where have you been?” His father’s voice is controlled, but Heeseung can hear the underlying anger.

“I was just out with some friends,” Heeseung replies, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Don’t lie to me,” his father snaps, descending the stairs with heavy, deliberate steps. “I got a call from Mr Kim. His son showed him pictures of you at a party posted all over the academy’s forum.”

Heeseung’s heart sinks. Mr Kim, a family friend and strict disciplinarian. The old man's disapproval was well-known, and Heeseung’s father always took his word seriously. He must have been tipped off by his own children studying at the academy, and in true fashion, news spread like wildfire, especially among the elites. The anxiety gnaws at him as he imagines Mr. Kim's stern face, the way his father’s expression will harden with disappointment. Heeseung’s mind races, trying to find a way to mitigate the fallout.

“Father, I—”

Before he can finish, his father’s hand strikes him across the face, the force of the blow sending him stumbling back. The sharp sting spreads across his cheek, but it’s the look of disappointment in his father’s eyes that hurts the most.

“You disgrace this family,” his father seethes. “Sneaking out to drink and party like some delinquent. You’re throwing away everything we’ve worked for.”

Heeseung tries to speak, to defend himself, but his father’s next blow catches him in the ribs, knocking the wind out of him. Heeseung doubles over, gasping for breath, his vision blurring with tears. He doesn’t dare fight back; he knows it will only make things worse.

“You think you can just do whatever you want?” His father’s voice is a harsh whisper, filled with venom. “You’re nothing without this family, without me.”

Another punch lands on Heeseung’s shoulder, and he crumples to the floor, curling into himself in a futile attempt to shield his body from the blows. Each hit is a reminder of his place, of the expectations he’s failed to meet.

The beating continues, each strike heavier than the last, until finally, his father steps back, breathing heavily. Heeseung remains on the floor, pain radiating through his body, tears mixing with the blood from his split lip.

“Get to your room,” his father orders, voice cold. “And don’t think about leaving this house again without my permission.”

Heeseung drags himself up, each movement sending fresh waves of pain through him. He stumbles to his room, collapsing onto his bed. The darkness of his room feels like a refuge, but it’s not enough to keep the tears from falling.

Heeseung curls into himself, clutching his phone to his chest. He wants to call you, to hear your voice, to find some comfort in your presence, but he knows he can’t. The risk is too great. Instead, he texts you a simple goodnight, hoping you’ll understand the unspoken plea for solace.

As the pain in his body slowly dulls, the emotional scars feel even deeper. Heeseung closes his eyes, wishing for sleep to take him away from the reality of his life. But even in his dreams, he can’t escape the feeling of his father’s disappointment, a weight that crushes him more than any physical blow ever could.

A whole week passes by since that night at Sunoo’s, and you wonder if the universe is playing another game with you. You no longer run into Heeseung in the hallway or find him huddled up reading in a corner of the library. It’s strange. Not only have you not seen him, but he also hasn’t texted you back. He always texts you back.

You even consider finding him at his mansion, but now that your project is done and dusted, you no longer have a reason to show up at his front door without looking like a clingy girlfriend—who isn’t his girlfriend. There is also the issue with his father; you don’t want to risk running into that man more than you need to.

Surely something must’ve happened for him to blatantly ignore you. You’re not even going to convince yourself otherwise, because nobody just suddenly goes radio silent on someone. You think back to that night, wondering what could’ve possibly gone wrong. Was it the kiss? Did you come off too possessive in your text messages? Or was it the fact you guilt-tripped him into attending the party with you, and his face ended up everywhere on the Decelis T?

Yes, you’ve seen the posts. You’ve seen the way people talk about you and Heeseung. Frankly speaking, you couldn’t care less. This isn’t your first rodeo with what the people in this school have to say about you. You’re used to it. What you hate to see are the posts about Heeseung, about how you ruined his bright future. And you can’t help but think that what these trolls are saying holds some truth.

The whispers in the hallways, the stares, and the snide remarks—they don’t bother you. But the thought that Heeseung might be suffering because of you does. You remember the way he had held you at the party, the way he had looked at you with such warmth and affection. It seems impossible that he would just abandon you without a word.

You decide to visit the library one more time, hoping against hope that you might find him there. The library is almost empty, the silence broken only by the soft rustling of pages and the occasional whisper. You scan the room, but there’s no sign of him.

Defeated, you sit down at one of the tables, your mind racing with a thousand questions. You pull out your phone, scrolling through your messages with Heeseung, rereading them in search of any clue you might have missed. Each unanswered text feels like a weight on your chest, a reminder of the distance growing between you.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a sudden ping from your phone. You glance down, heart leaping with hope, only to see a message from Chaewon. She’s asking if you want to grab lunch, but you can’t muster the energy to respond. All you can think about is Heeseung and why he’s disappeared from your life so abruptly.

With a sigh, you put your phone away and rest your head on your arms, feeling a mixture of frustration and sadness. The library’s quiet atmosphere does little to soothe your troubled mind. As you sit there, your mind in a whirlwind of confusion and concern, you hear footsteps approaching. You glance up to see Jake walking past you, a book in hand and a frown on his face. Relief washes over you at the sight of a familiar face.

"Jake," you call out, standing up. The boy seems surprised that you even knew his name, given that you barely talked to him.

"Have you seen Heeseung? I haven't heard from him all week."

Jake's frown deepens. "No, I haven't seen him. I thought he was just busy with you. Looks like you don’t know where he’s been either.” You sense some animosity in his words, but you try not to focus too much on it.

“What do you mean busy with me?” you ask, eyebrows raised.

“That’s what everyone’s been saying. Lee Heeseung sleeping around with the campus slut.” You’re taken aback by his words, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t sting, especially on an open wound.

“Okay, ouch? What did I even do to you?” Your voice comes out more defensive than you wanted it to, and Jake isn’t dumb enough to not notice it.

“You’re one to talk,” he mutters, now just pushing at the tiny bits of patience you had left after all the shit you’ve endured this entire week.

Jake hesitates, then sighs. "He told me he was going to stay out of trouble and focus on his studies, but it seems like he lied. He’s been sneaking off to parties, thanks to the likes of you. Who knows? He’s probably grounded right now because of that.”

Your anger flares, and you take a step closer to Jake. "You think this is all my fault? That I'm some kind of bad influence on Heeseung? Do you even know what he’s going through? He needed an escape, Jake. He needed friends to support him, not judge him."

Jake crosses his arms, still looking skeptical. "Support? By dragging him to parties and getting him in trouble?"

"Support by being there for him when he feels suffocated by his father and this school!" you snap. "You don’t know half of what Heeseung’s dealing with. You think he’s lying to you, but maybe he just didn’t want to burden you with his problems."

Jake's expression softens slightly, but he still looks unconvinced. "I just thought he was focusing on his future. Now it seems like he’s throwing it all away."

You take a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Jake, Heeseung is trying to balance everything. He’s not perfect, and he’s going to make mistakes. But he needs his friends now more than ever. You don’t get to be disappointed in him without even trying to understand."

“And what makes you think you understand him? Y/N, you knew him barely for a quarter of the time I did. If there’s anything, he would’ve told me by now.” Jake snaps, his voice rising and attracting the attention of every nearby patron.

“I don’t think I understand him, Jake. I know I understand him, more than you ever will. Because if you really understood him, you’d know he never wanted to be tied down by all these expectations from you or his father. If you really cared about Heeseung, you wouldn’t be here arguing with me about what’s best for him, because who are you to decide that for him? You should be showing up, reaching out to him now more than ever, but you’re not.” You say your last piece with conviction, each word laden with frustration and a hint of desperation.

Jake is stunned, his face paling as he absorbs your words. You can tell by the way he’s disassociating, his eyes glazing over and his expression becoming distant, that some part of what you said hit him hard. 

The library is now uncomfortably silent, the eyes of the other patrons heavy on you both. You can feel your heartbeat in your throat, your hands trembling slightly from the intensity of the confrontation. But Jake doesn’t say anything, just stands there, his mind clearly racing.

You take a step back, the anger and adrenaline starting to ebb away, replaced by a gnawing worry for Heeseung. "I’m going to find him, Jake. With or without your help," you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper, but firm. With your new resolve, you leave Jake standing still in the middle of the library, the gears in his head turning as he tries to recall all the times Heeseung was ever out of character, even for just a second.

Then it strikes him. All those times Jake showed up at Heeseung’s house over the holidays, he was somehow never home. His clothes always had a hint of cigarettes, but Jake was never too sure because Heeseung would attempt to drown out the smell with his cologne. Then there was that one time over winter break when Heeseung drunk-texted him one evening, but when Jake confronted him about it the next morning, Heeseung claimed he was at a company event with his father and had drunk to entertain the guests. All of it sounded perfectly reasonable to Jake at the time.

Jake’s mind races, piecing together the fragments of inconsistencies. Is Heeseung not who he seems to be? This realisation hits Jake like a ton of bricks. He’s been blind, perhaps too caught up in his own expectations to notice his friend’s struggles. And like the theorist he is, Jake is determined to find out the truth.

The conversation ends, and the conviction in Jake’s messages gives Heeseung a strength he didn’t know he had. Heeseung recalls a particular conversation he had with you, about how if Jake truly cares for him, he’d appreciate his honesty. And you weren’t wrong, because Heeseung and Jake come out of this with a brotherhood stronger than ever. It’s like you knew this would happen.

Then again, you always give the best advice and always know what to say to reassure him. You know him like the back of your hand, reading his thoughts like the cover of a book, which convinces Heeseung even further that if you aren’t soulmates, no other words can describe the connection you two hold. And it’s because you two are soulmates that the universe decides it’s finally time to piece the two of you together so that neither of you has to continue pretending to be someone you’re not.

But no, you’re not soulmates. What you have isn’t because of some cosmic design. Heeseung willed this. He willed you to come into his life; he willed you to show up at that club all those months back to catch him in the act; he willed you to be the one he can be himself around. He intricately weaved the threads of fate himself until they spelt your name. And right now, your name, Y/N, is like a mantra in his head, echoing itself over and over again until he sees you in the flesh, until he feels your presence in his vicinity. That mantra is the only thing driving his decision.

That night, Heeseung sneaks out of his mansion. He moves quietly, making sure not to alert anyone, especially his father. His heart pounds in his chest, each beat a mixture of fear and excitement. Every creak of the floorboards seems amplified in the stillness of the house, and he holds his breath, praying no one hears. Heeseung has never felt so alive, the adrenaline surging through his veins as he edges closer to freedom.

The cool night air greets him as he slips out the back door, a stark contrast to the oppressive atmosphere of his home. The stars above seem to twinkle with approval, as if they too support his decision. Heeseung pulls his jacket tighter around him, not just for warmth but for comfort, as he heads towards your apartment. Each step is a step towards reclaiming his life, towards taking control of his own destiny.

As he walks through the quiet streets, memories of you flood his mind. He thinks of your smile, the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you love, the sound of your laughter. The thought of seeing you again, of being in your presence, propels him forward. Heeseung’s heart swells with a mixture of longing and determination. This is what he wants. This is what he needs.

Heeseung finally arrives at your apartment building, his pulse quickening. He takes a moment to gather himself, taking deep breaths to steady his racing heart. The anticipation is almost too much to bear, but he knows he has to do this. For himself. For you.

He approaches your door, his hand trembling slightly as he raises it to knock. The sound echoes softly in the hallway, and he waits, his breath caught in his throat.

When you open the door, the sight of you takes Heeseung’s breath away. You look surprised, but there’s a warmth in your eyes that reassures him. For a moment, neither of you speaks.

“Heeseung,” you finally say, your voice soft but filled with concern and relief. “Where have you been? I was worried sick!” You hit him softly on his chest, and Heeseung smiles, the familiar gesture a balm to his frayed nerves.

“I know, I’m so sorry, Y/N. But I really needed to see you,” he replies, his voice barely above a whisper, laden with regret.

“You think you can just disappear whenever it’s convenient and come back when you want to see me? What if I want to see you? Have you ever thought about that? Selfish jerk.” You fight back the tears threatening to fall. Part of you is angry that Heeseung is doing whatever he pleases, but another part of you wants to just forget the pain and longing you’ve been experiencing the past week and crash into his arms. It’s sickening, the power he has over you.

“I was wrong, princess. I won’t disappear again. Not anymore.”

You step aside, allowing him to enter. The familiar scent of your apartment wraps around him like a comforting embrace. The tension that has been gripping him for days begins to ebb away, replaced by a sense of belonging and peace. He realises now, more than ever, how much he’s missed you, how much he needs you.

You both stand there for a moment, the silence filled with unspoken words and emotions. Heeseung reaches out and gently takes your hand, his touch sending a reassuring warmth through you. “I’ve missed you so much, Y/N. I didn’t realise how much until I couldn’t see you.”

You look up at him, your eyes searching his for sincerity. “Promise me you won’t shut me out again.”

Heeseung pulls you into a gentle embrace, his arms wrapping around you securely. “I promise, Y/N. I won’t shut you out. You mean too much to me.”

As you stand there, enveloped in his embrace, you can feel the tension in your own body slowly melting away. You close your eyes, resting your head against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. Each thump is a reminder that he’s here, that he cares, that he won’t leave you again. You take a deep breath, savouring the moment.

You open your eyes, and the two of you just look at each other, a silent understanding passing between you. You smile, your heart full, and you know that this time, his promise will be kept.

You have no clue what happened to him the past week, you don’t know what stunts he had to pull in order to get to you today and have you in his arms. To be frank, you aren’t looking forward to finding out. The cuts on his face and the bruises on his arms tell you plenty—more than you need, really. You didn’t comment on it when you first saw it, not wanting to bring up anything that caused him pain. When he’s ready, he’ll tell you what happened on his own.

You draw back slightly to look at him, your fingers brushing against his cheek. His skin is warm under your touch, and his eyes hold a mixture of relief, regret, and deep affection. He leans into your touch, feeling a sense of peace wash over you. You take his hand and guide him to the couch, where you sit close together, the familiarity of your surroundings adding to the comfort of the moment. 

You spent almost an hour talking about everything but nothing at the same time, it's like every time Heeseung felt he was ready to talk, he backs out and veers off into another topic instead. He shares about his reconciliation with Jake, how your advice about honesty proved true, and his regret over not being upfront sooner. He mentions the newfound attention he's received since the party at Sunoo's, people sliding into his DMs, but it all seems like a distraction from what he really wants to share.

You can see the struggle in his eyes, the weight of unspoken words on his mind. Without needing to say much, you place your hand gently on his, a silent assurance that you're here, you understand, and he can take his time. “Hey, slow down yeah? Heeseung, there’s no rush to tell me everything right now. I’ll be here whenever.” You say gently, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

In the depths of human nature, is an obsessive desire for logical explanations that make sense. However, there’s no explanation logical enough for how you just always seem to know your way around his emotions, because the gesture works almost immediately in calming his nerves.

Heeseung takes a deep breath, his gaze fixed on your joined hands. His fingers intertwine with yours, and you can feel the tension in his grip. It’s a silent signal that he’s ready to share what’s been weighing on his mind.

“Remember, you don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not ready.” 

“No, I need to tell you. You deserve to know.”  He pauses, gathering his thoughts. “That night at Sunoo’s, everything was fine until I got home. My father was waiting for me. Someone probably sent him the pictures from the party, the ones all over the Decelis T. He was furious.”

You nod, encouraging him to continue. The anguish in his voice is palpable, and it breaks your heart to see him like this.

“He was so angry. He didn’t even give me a chance to explain. He just kept yelling about how I was ruining everything, how I was throwing away my future. And then…” Heeseung’s voice falters, and he swallows hard. “Then he hit me. Over and over.”

Your heart clenches, and you feel a surge of protective anger. “Heeseung…” you whisper, your voice trembling. You reach out, gently tracing the bruises on his arms with your fingertips. “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe he did that to you.”

Heeseung’s eyes glisten with unshed tears. “I tried to stand up for myself, Y/N. I really did. But it only made things worse. He said I was a disgrace, that I wasn’t living up to the family name. He threatened to cut me off completely if I didn’t get my act together.”

You’re in fury by this point, because how could anyone possibly expect you sit still and listen when someone you care about is being hurt by someone who is suppose to shelter him with love and hope. This anger is mixed with sadness when you realise this is probably a frequent occurrence for him.

“You don’t deserve any of this. You’re amazing, Heeseung. Don’t let him make you believe otherwise.”

Heeseung takes a shaky breath, his grip on your hand tightening. “After that, Jake called me, and he helped me realise that I need to fight for my own life. That I can’t keep living under my father’s thumb. That’s when I decided to sneak out and come here. I needed to see you. You’re the one thing that keeps me grounded, that makes me feel like I can be myself.”

Tears well up in your eyes, and you pull him into a tight embrace. “We’ll get through this together. I promise.”

Heeseung holds you close, his voice filled with a mix of relief and determination. "Thank you, Y/N. I don’t know what I’d do without you." His words, though fitting for the occasion, hit you more deeply than you expect. You feel his heartbeat against your chest, each thump echoing the sincerity of his words. The realisation that he is relying on you as much as you are on him sinks in. You understand that the only thing keeping both of you sane, preventing you from becoming the versions of yourselves that others expect, is each other.

That night, you make the bold decision to invite Heeseung to stay over, considering it’s already well past midnight. As if sneaking out wasn't difficult enough, Heeseung assumes sneaking back in before dawn and before anyone realises he’s gone missing wouldn’t be too much of a challenge. Without even thinking twice, Heeseung accepts your offer, a mixture of relief that for a night, at least, he doesn’t have to feel trapped in the confines of his makeshift prison.

Unfortunately, you hadn’t fully thought this through. You live in a studio apartment, and with your queen-size bed spilling into your so called living room, there’s no privacy. You two are essentially sharing the same space. The room feels suddenly smaller, the proximity more intimate than ever before.

Noticing Heeseung’s fading bruises, you almost offer to take the couch so he can sleep comfortably on the bed. However, you know he’d likely reject your offer anyway so you didn’t even try. As you rack your brain trying to find a solution that works for both of you, Heeseung speaks up.

“We can just share the bed.” He shrugs, his expression stoic as if he hadn’t just spout the most out of pocket thing ever. Speechless, you stare at him, eyebrows raised, trying to form a coherent sentence that won’t embarrass you.

"Uhm..."

“What? Your bed is huge; I’m pretty sure we could both fit on there.” You can’t tell if he’s playing innocent, being naive, or if his dad knocked some sense out of him, but the shamelessness is almost baffling.

You won't lie and say the idea didn't cross your mind at some point, but the thought of sleeping next to Heeseung, especially now that you’ve come to terms with your feelings for him, seems like an impossible task. You’re afraid your heartbeat will vibrate across the mattress, and he’ll hear it and question you. The mere thought brings heat to your face, your pulse quickening at the proximity.

“Oh I see, you’re shy. Come on, it’s not like it’ll be the first time we’re sleeping together anyway.” He says, referring to the night the two of you made out and you accidentally fell asleep on his bed.

“Don’t phrase it like that, gosh. And that time was an accident.” You puff your cheeks, willing the heat to cool down but to no avail. The memory of that night, the closeness, and the vulnerability, floods back, making your heart race.

“You’re the one making this weird; it’s literally just sleeping. Not like we’re going to have sex or anything.” He giggles. You’re taken aback by the statement, and more so by his little giggle that accompanied it. How can he laugh in this situation when you’re as panicked as it is?

“Okay, now you’re just being annoying.” You turn your back towards him, rolling your eyes in feigned annoyance, though honestly, it only makes you feel more embarrassed for reacting the way you did. 

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop. If it makes you comfortable, I’ll take the couch.” His voice softens, sensing your discomfort, but his eyes hold a plea, a silent wish to stay close.

“What? No! You’re injured; you should be getting plenty of quality rest.” You insist, your concern for him outweighing your own embarrassment. The sight of his bruises, the fatigue in his eyes, tugs at your heartstrings.

“And let you take the couch? Don’t even try.” He shakes his head, his determination clear. His gaze is steady, filled with a mixture of stubbornness and affection.

“Fine. We’ll share the bed, but you’ll stay on your side, and I’ll stay on mine. No. Funny. Business.” You say firmly, trying to set boundaries, but the warmth in his eyes makes your resolve waver. The idea of sharing a bed with him, feeling his presence so close, is both thrilling and terrifying.

As you both settle into bed, the silence is filled with the soft rustling of sheets and the distant hum of the city outside. The mattress dips under his weight, and you can feel the heat radiating from his body and hear the steady rhythm of his breathing.

The room is dark, but the glow from the streetlights outside casts a soft light across his face. He looks peaceful, and for a moment, you just watch him, your heart swelling with emotions too complex to name.

Heeseung turns to face you, and you immediately turn away, hoping he didn’t catch you staring. You lie stoically on your bed, looking up at the ceiling, afraid to move a single muscle as you sense his gaze on you.

A few minutes pass, and you still feel his eyes on you. You suspect Heeseung himself doesn’t even realise he’s been staring at you unwittinglyaa as. You feel the tension between you hit a new high, the silence growing heavier with each passing second that you feel the creeping need to dig a hole right where you are and hide inside it. The elephant in the room is big, way too fucking big, and you finally decide to address it.

“There’s something else we need to talk about,” you say, finally turning your body to face him. His eyes meet yours in the dim light. You can barely make out the expressions on his face, but you can tell from the sudden shift in his body language that his guard is up at your proclamation.

“What is it?” he asks, his voice soft yet tinged with apprehension.

You take a deep breath, gathering your thoughts and courage. “This… situation between us. What are we doing, Heeseung?”

Heeseung’s eyes flicker with uncertainty, and he looks down at his hands, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. “I’ve been asking myself the same thing,” he admits. “I don’t want to mess this up, whatever it is.”

You feel a pang of vulnerability, a raw honesty hanging in the air. Before you can say anything else, Heeseung speaks up, his voice barely above a whisper but filled with intensity. “I like you, a lot actually. If it wasn’t already obvious enough, I like you, Y/N.” You can tell it took him a lot of courage to confess this to you.

Before you even got the chance to reciprocate his feelings, he stops you, wanting you to finish listening to what he has to say before he can bring himself to hear your answer. So you let him.

“I know our situation is really unconventional, and that it’ll be situationally better for both of us if I stayed away from you. That’s how I initially planned to keep you safe. But something about you, its like a drug; I just keep wanting more. Every minute, every second of every fucking day I’m just thinking about you. I want to know what you’re doing, who you’re with. I want to punch every single person who has nothing good to say about you. I want to feel you, I want to hug you, god, I want to kiss you so bad.”

He pauses, his eyes locking onto yours. “I realised how much you mean to me when I no longer try to force myself to sleep, trying to dream of something that'll numb my pain just a little. Instead, I can't sleep thinking about you because, for the first time, my reality is finally better than any dream. This, whatever we have, is real, and it’s the only thing that makes sense in my life right now. But every time I close my eyes thinking about you, I’m just reminded of the fact that I can’t have you and treat you the way you deserve.”

“You can have me, Heeseung,” you say, your voice filled with determination and emotion.

“You know what I mean, Y/N. I mean just look at the state I’m in. If my father can do this to his own blood, I don’t see why he wouldn’t do worse to you. I can’t have that.”

You reach out and gently touch his face, your fingers tracing the bruises and cuts. “Heeseung, I don’t care about the risks. I care about you. I want to be with you, no matter what.”

Heeseung looks at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of fear, hope, and love. He leans into your touch, his hand covering yours. “I don’t want to lose you, Y/N.”

“You won’t,” you promise, your voice steady and sure. “We’ll figure this out. Together.”

Heeseung’s eyes soften, and he leans in closer, his forehead resting against yours. “Thank you,” he whispers. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Those words again. The phrase, "I don’t know what I’d do without you," to you isn’t mindless appreciation but a genuine confession. In your fucked-up realities, you are each other’s only salvation where he doesn’t have to shed any part of himself to feel connected with you. You see the vulnerability in his eyes, the way he looks at you with a mixture of hope and desperation. It’s a look that tells you he needs you as much as you need him.

With that realisation, you know you are ready to be the person who loves him, no matter how imperfect he is. This is no easy feat, because it is easy to love someone when they’re perfect. But loving someone when they are wearing their flaws like an apology, when nobody else tries to really know them and accept them for who they are—that is what truly makes a difference. You think back to all the moments when he was vulnerable, when he let down his guard and showed you the parts of himself that he kept hidden from the world. Those are the moments that made you fall in love with him, not despite his flaws, but because of them.

You smile, your heart swelling with love as you reply to his sentiment, “Lucky for you, you’ll never have to find out.”

Heeseung’s arms tighten around you, and you can feel the tension in his body slowly melting away. His shoulders, once rigid with stress and fear, relax against you. The scent of his cologne, mixed with the faint smell of cigarettes, is comforting and familiar. You realise that this is where you both belong, in each other’s arms, facing whatever comes your way together.

Heeseung’s fingers gently brush against your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine. He leans in, his breath warm against your skin, and your eyes flutter closed as his lips meet yours in a tender, lingering kiss.

When you finally pull away, Heeseung’s forehead rests against yours, his fingers tangled in your hair. “I love you, Y/N,” he whispers, his voice filled with emotion. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, to make this work.” You nod, tears welling up in your eyes.

Funny, isn’t it, how you started insisting he stayed on his side of the bed, and now you’re wrapped in his arms with barely any space between your bodies. You can feel his heartbeat against your chest, his breath against your neck. His eyes meet yours, and you see a depth of emotion there that takes your breath away. It’s a look of pure, unfiltered love and gratitude. You know that this moment, this connection, is what you’ve both been searching for.

It’s the kind of love that makes you feel alive.

That makes you feel whole.

That makes you feel like you.

masterlist | part two

[margotoo0]

A smoldering cigarette, a red sunrise and a cramped bed.

N: AU!Sukuna, gn!reader, fluff. Bad eng language (use translator), silly jokes. It's just daydreaming. So simple. You and Sukuna are two lonely losers with shitty personalities who rule this world.

●●●●●●●●●●

What time is it now? 4? Sunrise is usually at 4.. Doesn't matter. Months of work for a long-awaited week's vacation. Although Sukuna said to leave your job, since he can easily provide for you, you are so attached to your business that quitting it would be a betrayal and devaluation of your own work. One way or another, what else should you do if not work? The only thing Sukuna complained about was being too workaholic. It’s funny, because throughout your entire learning you used all kinds of “simple” learning methods, sometimes not the most honest methods, but this is not so important anymore, is it? You get paid a lot and you like it - that's all that matters. But another factor has appeared in life, which, unfortunately, as you thought, also... began to matter.

Sukuna.

You had a difficult character. The features of a choleric person were intertwined with coldness and detachment, rejection of any attachment to anyone. You have never seen someone real next to you. And you quickly accepted it. Perhaps your love for yourself is not so strong, but value and respect have always lived in you and strengthened you. Some would call this unhealthy selfishness, but you don’t care. Many people have told you that you will rot from loneliness, you definitely need someone. You simply couldn't think about a boyfriend, or husband, or children... Although you have never been a nerd, a bookworm. You were a person who enjoyed your own superiority and freedom.

It's amazing how Sukuna was able to spot you. "Birds of a feather flock together". Perhaps this devil felt that you were too similar. Opposites attract, but you weren't. You...are both different and the same at the same time. Some qualities complemented others, and the same reactions to certain things or events helped you to be ��on the same side.” You were comfortable. Sukuna had a convenient one for you. But something still made you stay one arm away from him. At first you didn't care. You thought that Sukuna himself would be happy to have an unobtrusive person, you have never demanded more from someone than you can do yourself. But Sukuna has become more irritable lately. He was never silent on purpose, his movements were never too abrupt, despite his character. You continued to live your life. It should be mentioned that you did not know the status of your position. After a bad experience, you stopped labeling people: friends, lovers, boyfriend, girlfriend... It didn't matter anymore. Just a colleague, buddy. And you were more than sure that Sukuna wouldn’t mind. Sukuna doesn't care.

○

Barely visible lilac smoke curled in the air in waves. You always liked the smell of tobacco, although people often complained about it. The red sun has not yet risen, but the watercolor sky has already acquired a crimson hue, mixed with scarlet and that nasty yellow. The cigarette burned slowly and there was a slight burning sensation in the throat. The cool wind pleasantly touched the skin. No noise from cars, no conversations of people, no screams of annoying children... It was as if there had been a nuclear explosion and the earth was swallowed up by dead silence. A wonderful blessing if that were the case. Just you...and one other person.

By the way.

There was a heavy bear stomp, followed by the creaking of the balcony door. A large man, dressed in a black T-shirt and boxers (he always wears pants to bed, but never wakes up with them on), wrapped in a thick blanket, plopped down on a plastic chair nearby. His eyes were sleepy and droopy, with a pink tint to the sclera due to sleep and spring allergies that, unfortunately, you both shared. Rubbing the dark circles under his eyes, the man spoke:

– Do you have a day off. Why the hell did you get up so early?

The man stretched and yawned. His voice was hoarse, but he always reminded you of a cat. Big cat, tiger. Arrogant and gluttonous.

– Give it to me.

The man extended his large hand towards the pack of cigarettes and grabbed the lighter from your hands. Transparent touch. So light, quick, barely perceptible contact with someone else's skin. The man lit a cigarette, as if he was deliberately blowing smoke in your direction so that you would at least answer something.

– You woke me up.

Tsk

– And how? We sleep in different beds, besides...I was quite quiet. You always sleep like the dead

– In vain. I'm always a light sleeper.

– Then why don’t you ever wake up when I throw half your wardrobe at you?

– Maybe I wanted a different greeting to the new day.

– When you have a woman, then there will be gentle awakenings.

– When did you become my mother?

You rolled your eyes and leaned back in your chair, taking a drag from your cigarette. A minute passed in silence, the burning sun had already appeared over the horizon, flooding you with scarlet light. Head was a little dizzy from the cigarettes, mind felt empty. You didn’t notice how the same playful hand reached out to you, grabbed you by the forearm and pulled you towards him. Before you had time to react, Sukuna pinned your head with his entire hand, and with the other one, with which he was holding a cigarette, he began to tug at your hair. The deep laughter contrasted with the silence of the morning.

– Fuck, let me go! All my hair will be covered in ash. Hey!

You let out a couple of chuckles, groaning pitifully as you grabbed the man's arm in an attempt to get out of his grip. The man released you, patting you on the top of your head once more, ruffling your hair.

– And what was that? – you asked laughing.

– Actually, it means a lot.

– Oh, well, of course. Great Sukuna shows positive emotions. The whole world shut up. – you said with feigned pride.

The man fell silent, putting the blanket on his knees and throwing one leg over the parapet.

– You know, I never thought that someone would last more than a month with me. We've known each other for 4 years...

– Believe me, I'm shocked myself. – There was sarcasm in your voice.

– No, seriously, people can’t stand my character and quickly leave, complaining about me. You have wonderful endurance. Besides, you know, people quickly...

– Get boring.

The man narrowed his eyes, glancing at you.

– Right. You know, I don't want anyone to walk next to us.

– Did you mean with you?

– I meant with us.

Silence hung in the air again. The sun appeared fully, the burning ring rose upward. You don’t even want to start the 3rd cigarette. Now the thought of Sukuna's words is spinning in your head. When did he become like this? He has changed? Has he changed at all? Maybe you just took a lighter and lit what was originally inside. Something that must burn in order for there to be at least some source of light and warm.

– I would wipe everyone off the face of the earth. I just want it this way, – Sukuna shrugged. – But I would leave you. To avoid boredom. – The man let out a hoarse laugh.

– Not a bad idea, – you grinned, – but leave that guy from the coffee shop on the next street. Someone has to make me a cappuccino..

Sukuna rolled his eyes and sighed irritably.

– I’ll learn how to make this damn cappuccino for you myself. We don't need anyone.

– What an honor. – you laughed. – Damn, these cigarettes give me a headache...

– You smoke a lot.

– Who would say, little locomotive.

– Watch your language, we’re on the balcony and it’s high up here.

You rubbed your eyes, sleep slowly began to creep up on you. You only slept for 2 hours...

– Ugh, when smoking you feel like your head is empty and cloudy. But after orgasm it’s still better. No headache.

The man groaned and laughed.

– Listen...

– Sukuna, no. I'm going to sleep.

– Hey, come back!

You stood up and walked out of the balcony, going into the bedroom.

– Wait, damn it...

You plopped down on your bed, wrapped in a blanket. The tall man trudged towards your bed, holding a lump of blanket in his hands.

– Move.

– What?

-Are you deaf?

...

– Fool, it's cramped in here. You'll crush me.

– Move, come on! If you really want, we will definitely fit in. All you need is desire.

You rolled your eyes, moving closer to the wall.

– My back will hurt again..

– Don’t whine.

The man pulled the blanket over himself, wrapped his arms around you and buried his head in the top of your head.

– Don't strangle me. I still have work ahead.

– No promises. Sleep.

There was still the smell of tobacco. Indeed, why do you need someone else if you have each other? Each other is enough for you.

[herharmonyenemy]

ACOTAR Headcanons

Rhys: 

Has had a skincare routine since he was a teenager. His mother taught him. 

And hair care (gels n everything)

Has like 15 university diplomas. 

Waxes. 

Has the highest bodycount. Everyone wanted to sleep with the crown prince (then highlord), and being as arrogant as he was, knew he had the females (and males) head over heels for him.

Plays piano because he’s a rich spoiled old money kid

To this day he sometimes blurts out some unchecked spoiled comment without realizing it. Cassian punches him as part of the deal. Once the archerons caught on, they also take turns. 

He once got a face piercing (nose/lips) just to spite his father. He got punished but kept it until he became highlord. 

Did a lot of things to spite his father actually. Including but not limited to: growing his hair out, dying his hair, getting a diploma in something not very legacy/bloodline like (sports medicine?), painted his nails (black ofc), got drunk in poor people bars like Nesta (when she learns about this…), and started wearing his shirts open to show his chest (which stuck until present day). 

Does in fact read smut. The best way for him to learn is by reading, so teenage rhys decided to read about sex to be better. It worked, but he got an interest in smut and still reads from time to time. Nesta never lets him live it down for the rest of their lives. 

Is the kind of person to correct your spelling and grammar. However, someone once did it to feyre and he responded that as the person to teach her to read, he is the one to correct her. 

Gift giving is his love language. 

Would watch game of thrones in modern and criticize every move. 

Doesn’t know how to do any chores. Feyre forces him to learn 

Doesn’t like animals only because he formed a bond with a dog when he was younger and when something happened (died/ran away) he cried and his dad told him to man up and it’s only a dog 

Out of all the highlords, he’s the worst at controlling his beast once it’s out but he’s the best at keeping it in 

Knows other languages (as hofas proved)

Is actually religious. 

Is a clean freak. Doesn’t even sit on the bed with his everyday work clothes unless sheet are already going to be changed. 

Had a stuffed animals that he brought to the Illyrian camps when he was 8. Cas learned and threw it off a cliff. Cas gave another stuffie for rhys’s 18 birthday, which was put on a shelf for the next 5 centuries. Nyx now plays with it. 

Picky about food. Feyre jokes that it’s a red flag. Once Rhys learn human slang and what a red flag is, he fixes it. Although Feyre laughs when he makes a face at the brussels sprouts.

Gets his fashion sense from his father, who also likes high quality pieces. 

Also gets his eyes from his father. 

Has toxic dating history that az and cas disapprove and hate 

He was like Simon from Bridgerton as a child: He learned to speak very late, which is why his father was borderline abusive and didn’t pay attention to him. He didn’t learn to speak until right before he went to the camps. Only amren knows, but rhys told feyre after nyx was born. 

Actually the nerd of the group but he hides it 

Wins the prize for best mouth action

Insecure about his ears since he grew up around Illyrians 

The first to learn how to tie shoes, so he was the designated shoe tie-er. Many jokes were made about the crown prince on his knees, mainly through Cas.

Az:

least body count - but he could actually hold a relationship for longer then one night.

As we already know, the kindest bat boy

Trims. 

Also got piercings with rhys so he wouldn’t be alone. 

Writes in all caps 

Doodles when he’s doing something on autopilot 

Knows hand placement 

Drinks way too much coffee

Had the most pimples as a teenager. 

He was the most romantic out of the three. While cas and rhys were going through their “never getting married, forever the bachelor life” phase, az was still after romance. 

Loves bread 

Loves loves loves traveling 

Is good at gymnastics 

Very good at winged eyeliner. When it’s eyeliner time, everyone goes to either az or feyre

Wins the price for best downstairs action

Likes watching the sunset

Always wins the scavenger hunts cas organizes 

Cas: 

once had a buzz cut. Happened because of a dare but he ended up being fine with it. 

Au natural

Has worst handwriting but doesn’t care. Rhys complains that it’s so bad he can’t read it (he can) 

Wears a chain necklace from time to time. After mating, he doesn’t take it off. (Nesta likes when it swings in her face) 

Out of the three, has the highest rice purity score. Az is kinky, and rhys is up for anything. 

Makes the most dad jokes 

LOVES fruits. And veggies. Eats the healthiest out of the three. 

Morning person. He used to wake up rhys and az at the crack of dawn to go hiking. 

He has a hair care routine - more complicated than rhys. Those locks aren’t just magically there. He oils his hair at least once a week. 

Wins the prize for best hand action 

Insecure about his nose 

Best at making scavenger hunts 

Has slow metabolism so whenever he eats really fast he falls asleep right after the energy high

Once used az’s toothbrush to annoy him, ended up using rhys’s. Being the clean freak he is, this started a war among them. 

100% takes dramatic showers like those scenes in movies

All three: 

on the camp, there was another trio that was everything they weren’t (pure blood illyrians from a noble line, got favored). The day comes when those three meet the archerons and the girls think they just want to be friends and the boys get jealoussss

Rhys takes them shopping. He’s up on the mini stage getting measured and tailored and cas is drinking on a couch. This is their gossip and complain time. 

They all speak Illyrian when they want to speak secretly. They never taught mor no matter how many times she asked because “it is a boys club” thing 

The archerons catch on and they eventually learn with help from bat boys, who then momentarily regret it because they don’t have a secret language anymore, but it’s the archerons who know crack the dirtiest jokes in Illyrian. 

When they were younger, they would share notes via this charmed journal that would winnow to whichever one wanted to write in it. Centuries later one of the archerons finds it and the boys jump over each other to get it from the girls cause it’s filled with teenaged thoughts (another headcanon)

They have a synchronized dance 

They used to have beach days but gradually stopped. They started again once the sisters said they have never been to the beach

They used to share a bed when they were younger. It was a hard fit, but rhys slept in the middle since he can disappear his wings. 

Cas and az didn’t leave rhys alone the first week he was highlord. Even in moments of silence. One of them was always within arms reach

They slap each others butt. At first it was a joke, but it became a competition of who could surprise slap the hardest. 

Once, az’s ex made moves on rhys, and rhys took the chance. This lead to the biggest fight between the two (up until the elain situation) until cas asked if they were going to let a girl get in between them. They made up and the next day rhys found out she was only with him for the power. Az comforted him when he cried. 

Engaged in locker room talk. Shared tips on sex. 

Rhys and az wear eyeliner/kohl on special but informal parties. Cas always smudges it so he’s quit. 

[inkblot22]

Hello! I found you through your Idia content, and I have to say, I enjoy seeing someone lean into an underrepresented aspect of Idia’s personality. Yeah, as much as we love the guy, he’s got a tendency to be an asshole. It’s refreshing, especially when most writers dumb him down into only a socially awkward and game-loving nerd. There is so much more to his personality than that, and it always bothers me to see people not basing headcanons on those aspects too.

EDITED TO HAVE A CUT If there's anything I love more than a socially awkward hikikomori, it's a socially awkward hikikomori who knows the basics of politeness and propriety but chooses to ignore it based on the power, status, and intellect that they were born into and happen to possess. Although I like the trope and have used it, I don't think I've ever actually seen Idia directly put himself down, only others. (Please correct me when I'm wrong, but genuinely, I've had him insult me so many times because he's just like that when he's on your main screen, he freely talks shit to the other students even when they're trying to help him and grumbles about teachers, and the one instance I can think of, the moussaka comment from his PE uniform, feels more like a statement.)

I do agree that more often than not, I see most of these characters being boiled down to their more endearing or positive qualities, such as Leona being a cuddly nap man or Azul being easily flustered when we literally watch Leona try to murder/injure multiple people so he could win at a sport (Malleus and however many collateral bystanders taken out) and when he didn't get his way (RUGGIE), and Azul being very unempathetic to expand his business practices (this is actually not that wild for businessmen imo) in-game. I do envy being able to focus on the sweeter parts of these characters' personalities, but all of them, like most real people, are morally gray at best. Would not peel an orange for you, would not look at birds with you. Love a man who will just make me cry because he has nice qualities but is notably not nice. Kalim, Jack, and Silver are what you would expect to see as the outliers, but Kalim is incredibly pushy and it takes a lot to get him to not do whatever the fuck he wants, Jack is also a bit of an asshole and is borderline presumptuous and pretty self-righteous in some of his in-game moments, and Silver seems like he'd be kind of like speaking to diet Sebek in terms of rigidity. I can explain more of my thoughts on that in a separate post.

Anyhow, I do have stuff for Idia planned because he is my bae character, but as I said in the last ask I answered, I have a Floyd fic and a Malleus fic in the works currently. You anons are gonna have me throwing out my whole schedule lmao

[vasa-boattours]

HWS Switzerland headcanons

Multilingual by default. Also speaks the language of his business partners fluently.

Speaks extra thick Schwyzerdütsch with Gilbert, Ludwig, and Roderich just because he can. Gradually elevates difficulty levels to Berndütsch if they seem to slowly understand the previous levels of Schwytzerdütsch

A lot of Norse countries get credit for surviving harsh winters but he's equally tough. Surviving in a mountainy region with drastic winters is tough work.

Survivalist to the max. MacGuyver's himself through any rural environment.

Good with animals, especially more "difficult to handle" farm animals, like goats, cows, and donkeys. Trains his shepheard dogs perfectly. Doesn't like horses though. Not sturdy enough and too much maintenance. Adores his wildlife, especially vultures.

Usually he doesn't like talking more personally to people but will hold an entire lecture on vultures and their significance in the ecosystem when prompted.

Also trains avalanche-rescue dogs.

Crafty in many departments: Can make his own food (from wheat to bread, milking to tasty aged cheese, etc.), expert forager, knits comfiest socks, hats, and sweaters, excellent first aid skills, expert woodworker, understands the physics of technology in extreme weather conditions, knows how to handle animals (wild or domestic), can fix almost any machinery. For some reason believes that qualifies him to cut his own bangs.

A bit intense when organizing. He's always organized about every event: Winter, business, travel trips, party planning. But he gets irritated if others are lax in this department when they're trying to organize the same thing.

Likes the finer things in life. Everything he surrounds himself with is of good quality whereas not boisterous. It's all very tasteful.

Likes to eat well.

Still drives over the border to shop at the grocery stores of his neighbor countries because the prices are much lower. Still complains about the cheese quality though.

Can be surprisingly charming at first meetings. Treats people with reserved politeness, makes small, light hearted jokes. But he's extremely difficult to get close to on a personal level.

Even spontaneous meeting just to chat are already too familiar to him.

Not uninterested in others but enjoys being mostly by himself.

Actually can be very funny. It's mostly dry humor yet he has an unmatched timing. When he doesn't laugh at anyone else's jokes it's not for not getting them but because he purposefully wants to signal that he doesn't want to dignify that comment with a laugh.

Deadpan comments are politely formulated yet ice-cold.

Quiet interested in culture. Loves to go to art exhibits, museums, or watch movies. Even enjoys experimental stuff. Yet, if he doesn't like something he will tear it verbally to shreds for having wasted his time.

Uses many food metaphors without him noticing.

In modern days he has fun creating hip-hop-tracks. Nobody but him likes that.

Although he enjoys the refinery of urban environments, when he gets overwhelmed he retreats into the mountains to do craftswork, tend animals, and generally avoid human contact.

Terrific at any sport related to winter and mountains. Has to ski well by necessity although his first attempts at snowboarding were hilariously clumsy. Equally passionate about hockey and figure skating.

Hiking and mountain climbing are his summer time passions. Very convinced by his climbing skills, so he died on several occassions doing freestyle climbing. Stubbornly doesn't accept his failure though.

Many of his early deaths include death by avalanche, guessing what herb is edible or not, freezing to death, and getting in a wresting match with a billy goat once.

Interested in science as so far as it serves to better human living conditions in natural environments, or how to do things more practically. Loves riding the train to watch the panorama although not keen on Ludwig nerding out about trains.

If he had to choose, his favourite neighbour might be Francois (don't tell him that though).

Of course he's a pretentious schmuck about his chocolatier skills. Belgium and him have a silent rivalry about who's chocolate gets more praise.

Never leaves the house without a Swiss army knife.

[iheartchv]

If you were still doing COD matchups, I would love one if it's not too much trouble.If not, no worries, can just say I love your stuff so far and keep up the good work!

Thanks so much if you have the time for it, but thanks either way if you're too busy! Cheers!

I'm a big fan of Soap, Ghost, Roach, and Keegan, but if any other characters stand out to you, I'm down!

I'm a 5'2 plus-sized woman working on getting my master's degree in writing and editing. I'd love to be an author and maybe a professor or documentarian someday. I love reading, photography, cooking/baking, and while I'm too poor to travel right now I'd love to do it in the future! I'm a history buff, a gamer, and a literature nerd that is laughably full of trauma/CPTSD but I'm doing alright so far.

My friends lovingly call me a "doormat" because I'm too nice, but really I just like to give people a chance and avoid snap judgements. I'm a very patient person and I think long and hard before making big decisions, although I can also be prone to impulse buys and jumping into things to avoid giving myself the chance to psych out.

I've often been told that I'm a very stoic individual with flat intonation, making me often look angry or bored even when I'm having a good time. I'm the kind of person who really comes to life when I'm with people I care about or talking about the things I'm currently fixated in. It always shocks people when they speak to me and I'm comfortable enough with them to joke around and let my "weird energy" out. I once crawled on my friends floor in college pretending to be a French tortoise because she said that I smiled like a koopa troopa when I was being devious. Je suis un tortue... She never lets me forget.

I also have a tendency to laugh hysterically when stressed or flustered and it has been described as sounding like a "maniacal drugged up clown."

🤡

// thanks ^^ I hope you like your matchup~

🤔hmmm... I match you with...

Keegan P. Russ

I think you'd be paired with Keegan

He may be quiet but with the right person he shows another side of him

That's where you come in

One night, you were being followed by someone

Luckily Keegan happened to be nearby and told the guy to scram

When he turned around to you, were met with the most gorgeous blue grey eyes... on such a handsome face

"You okay?"

"Yeah..." you'd give a nod

His voice made your heart jump and skip a beat

He offered to walk you home the rest of the way

He notices that you're carrying a book bag, figured you were probably a college student

"What're you studying?"

You tell him what your plans were for college and the future

Whether he was interested or was just listening to you, it felt nice to talk to someone

There was something about him you couldn't ignore....

He asks for your name, and he tells you his

You got so carried away with talking that you didn't realize you were home

He stops at your doorstep

You thanked him, trying not to show how bashful you felt

He just small smiled and replied,"Good night, miss", watching you walk inside before leaving

Every now and then you'd run into Keegan and he'd give you a smile that made butterflies tickle in your belly

For a local magazine/newspaper, there was a short story section that was looking for monthly stories to be submitted

You took the chance and wrote a short story, Keegan being your inspiration

The way you described the male protagonist had same features and qualities like Keegan... except the name was spelled different

When it was published, and after many compliments from the townspeople and your friends, Keegan read it

The story you wrote wasn't too far from the life he lived being a part of the Ghosts

Since then Keegan started getting close to you

And you didn't mind that at all

As he got to know you, the more silly side of you, he couldn't get you off his mind

He's falling for you...

After telling you his feelings for you, you happily accepted him

Because after knowing more about him, you had fallen for him, too

Now you two are inseparable

Some would say a "cute couple"

Keegan loves having you in his arms

He loves holding you, giving you kisses all over, just being so loving

He's so warm and caring

He didn't care if anyone would make fun of him

All that mattered was you and your happiness

His love gift would be acts of service

He'll do things for you: give you a massage, help you get comfy after a rough day, etc.

If he feels that something is bothering you, he wants to know

"Come on, sweetheart. You can tell me anything"

When your sad, or break down in tears, he will hold you and rock you gently, speaking in a soft, slow voice:

"It's alright. I got you, my love. I have you..."

He'll kiss and wipe your tears away

"You're always safe with me" he'd assure you

"I'm always here for you"

He swears to protect you with his life

If you'd like a love letter from Keegan, or other COD characters, check out my Valentine event💗

[ihatemyselfbutidolovetea]

11/27/2024

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Yet I come with more bellyaching. I just wanted to meditate a little more about my relationship experience.

I feel like relationships become unsuccessful and leave both parties unfulfilled because of their reasons for staying together. For many people being in a relationship is a status symbol and if you aren't dating it would be the equivalent of being poor. I won't play dumb though, there is a status boost to being in a relationship and it is seen as a milestone. But the problem comes down to a mindset that a relationship will bring you happiness, just like how being rich will bring you happiness. Both accomplishments are good, but once you get there, your end goal will introduce you to more problems in your life that you are likely unprepared for. I didn't know what I was getting myself in for when I was with Jayson, and likely he didn't either. Despite that we tried to make it work, although it was clear one was trying harder than the other. This brings me to a thought that has been upsetting me about my relationship with Jayson. Inferiority.

Against my better judgment, I asked Jayson if he thought he was out of my league. At one point Jayson said he was both the brains and the looks so that made me question which one I was. He calls me cute all the time but has called me beautiful next to never. I see men in movies and songs and poems call their women beautiful but how come it never comes out of Jayson's mouth? Jayson said my style of attractiveness is cute, and that's why he always says I'm cute. And I wanted to be cute so I never paid it much thought. But there was that prevailing thought in my head, "surely you can still call me beautiful once in a while right? it's what boyfriends are supposed to do right?" I always admire Jayson's princely and dashing good looks. He's very handsome and I tell him that all the time. And a couple days ago the question just came out. I somewhat knew what Jayson would say but I wanted to hear it from him.

I asked "Do you ever feel out of my league because of how smart and handsome you are?" He pauses, letting my question sink in.

He replies, "Yes." He puts it frank, but goes on to say "You have a good heart, Sophia. If it weren't for that, our relationship wouldn't have lasted as long as it did." So there was the conclusion. He's the looks and the brains, and I'm the heart.

On a surface level it's a good answer. Jayson really didn't want to demean me, and wanted to highlight a good quality of mine. I won't want to complain about him thinking I'm a good person. What makes me sad is just how it's a reminder that I wasn't as good of a girlfriend as I wanted to be. If I was a good girlfriend he would have called me beautiful, he wouldn't have to worry about his mom not liking me, he wouldn't need to check on me if he was worried about me.

Once Jayson became handsome and smart, he stopped loving me like the way a man is supposed to love a woman. And yes, I did say "became," Jayson had a major glow-up between his final years at community college and attending business university. I don't think it's bad of me to say I wasn't attracted to Jayson when I first met him. When he asked me out I said yes because 1. I thought dating him would give me experience for the possible next relationship I wanted to pursue. And 2. because I thought dating him would make me a good person. It's funny, I feel like the opposite of one of those incel memes; girl gets asked out by nerd, becomes single mom, meets up with nerd again who has become chad who makes 6 figures and wants nothing to do with hoe pussy blah blah blah. I feel like if I were to grab a Sophie from another universe, a universe where I didn't end up going out with Jayson, and showed her my life; I don't have any doubt in my mind that Sophie would be like "Oh my god, I was such an idiot for turning him down!"

But how could a supposed "good choice," leave me with heartbreak? The story went how it was supposed to go, so what happened? I just can't help but blame myself. Jayson loved me and he still does but not the way a man loves a woman. I tried to be a good person, but anyone can be kind and caring. Having a good heart didn't get me a partner who was sexually attracted to me. And no duh, if you expect that then that's just pure entitlement. I was a woman-child throughout our relationship. I'm getting out of that, but there's still some woman-child qualities left in me. An adult that's worth a damn isn't attracted to a person like that. Jayson knew me better than anyone and he couldn't overlook my shortcomings. That's why I blame myself. I could have worked harder to be a competent adult, but it was too late... All I had was my heart

[buttered-milky]

Putting notes for myself and anyone else who might want to expand on this(?) here as I watch this for the fourth time in my life:

Spoiler warning for Jennifer's Body, if anyone cares

First off initial thoughts actually before I start the watch - this is a p good template for any sort of AU.

bi4bi. girlbossing. eating men. “She asked for no pickles” as literally an opening dynamic. The fucked up demonology of trying to sacrifice someone. Loser4loser alliances all around. Just some really weird girl trying to work through complicated feelings for her best friend.

(Secret bonus: the best friend can throw up ferrofluid which is so cool to me)

Okay speedrun the main points of Jennifer: she is a succubus. except she doesn't really fuck people, just seduces and then eats them. she was created because she was erroneously offered as a virgin sacrifice to satan, and since she is not a virgin, she came back wrong. she has to eat people to keep herself in good health. I mean, the worst that happens to her in the movie when she's hungry is that she gets grumpy and looks a little sick and sometimes her hair falls out. but the eating is kind of an innate instinct anyway. it's implied she can't eat normal food since she throws it up. she can be killed pretty much any way, though the movie advises stabbing through the heart to be safe.

OKAY OKAY MOVIES STARTING TIME TO ESSENTIALLY LIVE TWEET THIS AS NOTES

Jennifer…owns a horse?? I did not notice that in my first three viewings. it's not important to these notes but it's important to me

Ur damn right hell is a teenage girl. Also I like the firsthand telling of this. I don’t think writing this in first person would be the worst actually. Plus I mean…eddie is a storyteller. Like Needy!

Jennifer's cheerleader status is a free excuse to make Steve a cheerleader

Mein Gott the constant flirting between Jennifer and Needy. of course that would be necessary in any silly fic and any AU but yknow

The immense potential of “I wish more guys wore eyeliner” coming from Steve. the immense potential of bonding over how pretty rockstars are

Don’t u just love when trying to protect ur friend’s reputation ends up getting them erroneously sacrificed (not included in the fic idc that much)

They absolutely must hold hands. And eddie absolutely must have an “am I sure about this” moment

I cannot believe I didn’t consider the possibility Jennifer got drugged beforehand she is like Extra incoherent in those ten minutes (not important to the fic but again important to me)

Y’know under normal circumstances I’d put chrissy in chip’s place but I see this as post s4 so…but do what u want

I Love the came back wrong trope. Plus her slow smile here is so

The POWERFUL homoeroticism of “Are you scared?” And then kissing your friend’s neck after they nod

Writing Steve as Jennifer also has immense potential for bitchy moments. That’s like Jennifer’s main fucking quality. Although I do tend to think one of the only reasons Jennifer kills so many people is because she’s a bitch in the first place. Like the curse cranks her up to eleven.

Survivor’s guilt Noted

COLIN IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THIS ENTIRE DAMN MOVIE HES SUCH A LOSER okay back to notes

Dying and coming back wrong and getting Disney princess abilities so animals will watch you kill someone Noted

Needy is such a good Eddie template her mom is also presumably working nights

Side note to self: the bimbo heart outfit is actually very cute use that in a drawing.

They SHOULD watch rocky horror together

MY GOD COLIN IS SUCH A NERD if I didn't want this to last more than ten seconds as a fic I'd make Eddie him. he is the exact same brand of alternative kind of pathetic loser boy I love him. maybe in someone else's oneshot but not in my fic

"Are you scared? I mean I thought boys like you were really into vermin and death and shit" noted. "I need you frightened" NOTED

seeing your undead best friend while having sex NOTED

Ah yes, the important aspect of supernatural strength. crank that jock strength up to eleven babey

"We always share your bed when we have slumber parties"

there is also something to be said about killing everyone your best friend is even remotely interested in all while hardcore flirting with them

not relevant to notes but relevant to me: the band that sacrifices Jennifer kinda has some homosexual tendencies I never noticed Side Eye "that's a hot murder weapon" "it's a bowie knife" "bowie? nice" okay

"I woke up, and I found my way back to you" "I couldn't bring myself to hurt you" and of course "we can play boyfriend-girlfriend like we used to" all in the same scene

While we're here: I’m not gonna do this but if anyone else runs with this idea and also likes rockstar eddie, you gotta remember the band from this movie quite literally did sacrifice Jennifer for fame. Some lameass bar band did that. Idk man just saying there’s potential there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ridiculous ass high school dance outfits GO

man she's trying super hard to drown him girl just go crocodile mode death roll that shit

oh I forgot she can just have shark teeth whenever she wants. okay cool. oh and she can (kind of) fly (it's just hovering like she's in the exorcist)

"I thought you only murdered boys" "I go both ways" BISEXUALITYYYY (yet another reason I need Steve to be this)

whoever I choose to be my chip stand in has to die (unless, of course, I just don't care that much. which for once I might not.)

"I think I already died but I woke up when I heard your voice" is this a chip line? yes. is it still so fanfiction? yes

yeah I do think I will keep the "biting my best friend's neck and then levitating us both and holding onto her with my legs" bit

aaaand absent parents coming in clutch for that sad sort of fucked up ending! Steve Harrington I have never been so glad to have never seen your parents even once it transfers so well onto this au

I will probably not include the aftermath bits in a fic but it is a pretty cool implication

I am making no commitments to writing any of this, but if anyone else wants to use these notes/ideas for something, go for it. doesn't even have to be a Jennifer's body au, there are just some banger lines here regardless.

Vampire eddie this vampire eddie that blah blah WHERE are the Jennifer’s body Steve fics Hm??? There is potential here I must say

[parchmentedpetrichor]

➳who cursed the bludger? ♡

in which the reader's dominant hand is injured badly after a rogue bludger slams into it and none other than fred weasley is behind it. who cursed the bludger?

fred weasley x fem!reader

word count: ± 2k

tw: serious injury, a little bit of swearing

drop a follow if you wanna see more of this content!!

my masterlist:D

ft. penny clearwater

who cursed the bludger?

y/n was currently draped lazily over her broomstick, haven given up trying to teach penelope clearwater how to fly. said prefect was on the grass, smirking as y/n embarrassedly looked around.

"penny that's not ok to ask!"

"fine, fine," she pondered for a moment, "hey, what's up with you and fred weasley, huh?"

"nothing at all," y/n answered a little too quick for penny's liking.

"c'mon, y/n, you're younger than me, i should know all that happens. you two are very...flirty."

"yeah well, my dear pennysylvania, we have flirty personalities. duh."

"no, you don't."

"okay, i don't. he does."

"but he seems like he means it."

"of course he means it? he says it in a joking way? y'know, he means it as a joke."

"hmm, nope, i don't think so, y/n. he's looking your way right now."

"i'm probably blocking the space, let's move outta the way."

"you're not gonna play with them?"

"already play in matches, why now? let's chat."

fred was silently eavesdropping on their conversation as he heard his name.

"sooo you and perceeee??" y/n dragged out, grinning as she did loop-do-loops with her broomstick.

penny blushed, but looked disappointed, "he likes oliver."

"oh. well, f percy, what about marcus??"

"he's just marcus. we're best friends, y/n."

"my fav trope of romance is best friends to lovers," y/n wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and penny shook her head in amusement.

"my one is the opposites attract."

"hmm yeah, that's a good one too, it's really cute! say, aren't you and mar-"

"i was meaning you!"

"huh?"

"you and fred."

fred smirked as he listened, flicking back the bludger harshly at angelina.

"oh yes because we are totally meant for each other," y/n sarcastically replied.

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"yes."

"you're doing this on purpose!"

"hmm? what?"

"oh my goodness, merlin you're stupid bro!" penny said exasperatedly.

"and you just realised. congrats, penny."

"anyway, what i'm saying is you and fred are rather like opposites. although he's extroverted and you're extroverted, you're a cute little nerd," y/n huffed at this 'i am n o t a nerd for the last time!' "and he's a class clown in the most charming way. you like reading and he likes pranking people and quidditch. you're a goody two shoes, an adorable one, but he's this foolish jock," penny looked proud with her argument so y/n laughed, "you're modest and he's very confident. and you're both hot."

y/n smiled, "i am not hot!" she giggled, "that's stupid."

"oi, ange!" penny called to angelina who looked over at her in amusement.

"yeah?"

"is y/n hot?"

"oh, totally!" angelina casually threw the quaffle into the hoop, "10/10."

"guyyys you flatTer me," y/n stretched out as the three of them laughed, "i'm bLushIng."

"you actually are," angie quipped.

"it's a command thing. if she wants to blush, she'll blush," replied penny.

they burst into giggles again.

fred watched y/n. a rosy pink, sure enough, had spread across her cheeks. that was enough to get her blushing?

"oi, l/n!"

y/n's head snapped his way, her eyes narrowed as if expecting an insult being thrown her way.

"your lips are pretty!"

her form relaxed, "thanks! yours are too!!"

penny giggled as angie rolled around laughing.

"what?" y/n looked around.

"the way you return flirting is hilarious."

"a compliment for a compliment, isn't that what they say?"

angelina snorted, "no one says that."

"oh well i say it, so deal with it."

"hey, i have an idea!" penny brightened up.

"let's hear it!"

"let's teach y/n pick up lines, ange!"

"oh you're a genius, penny!"

"okay, so-"

a bludger came whizzing at y/n as she screamed, trying frantically to dodge it. it hit her hand and a crack was heard.

luckily she immediately hopped off calmly, taking out her wand shakily and stunning the bludger, before penny and angie helped her over to the hospital ward, fred lagging guiltily behind.

she was ordered to stay in bed rest and with drowsy eyes she drifted off.

fred watched her feeling so terrible as he saw her heavily bandaged hand, imagining how he was going to tell her that he was in fact the one that had charmed it.

the next day, she was out and about, gently cradling her hand which was broken.

"um, hey, y/n," he nervously approached her.

"oh, hello!"

"i might have jinxed the bludger to go wild," he confessed abruptly, "i'm really sorry i didn't mean to-"

"no, it's fine, really." she gave him a reassuring smile and walked off.

he noticed that she couldn't write in class. usually she was scribbling away, but she just sat awkwardly at her desk, trying frantically to get anything legible down with her non-dominant hand. the fact she was so courteous and forgiving about everything just made it worse.

by now, y/n was dying inside. she couldn't write notes, and even though she wanted to ask any willing person for a duplicate of their notes, she'd have to explain the whole broken hand thing.

"ange?"

"yep?"

"do you have history of magic notes?" y/n did puppy eyes.

"nope, you forgot i dropped out."

"oh."

"do you want mine?" fred asked, smirking as he looked y/n up and down.

"you take notes?!!!" y/n was shook.

"only for you, 'cause i felt bad."

"you didn't need to!"

"i did. you want them?"

"yes please, thank you so much, you're a lifesaver!!"

"you're acting like you're not the one the bludger hit," angie quipped and y/n frowned, completely forgetting fred was still there, browsing the notes.

"c'mon, it was just an accident. and i've always wanted to be ambidextrous."

"lovely, you were struggling. i'll take all your notes. my handwriting isn't neat but i owe you."

y/n ducked to hide the light blush she could not control at all.

immediately she got a confused look from fred.

and instantly she thought of something that might make the blush go away. he didn't mean it, it slipped out, she thought and she felt her face cooling down, a slight frown appearing on her face.

"o-okay, thanks fred."

"no problems, darling," he flirted.

"that's good, darling," she flirted graciously back, bravely tilting her head up and looking him in the eye.

he took it well.

"where did you learn how to flirt so well, my little love??"

"why, freddie," she joked flirtatiously, "from you of course!"

he coughed and excused himself.

"he should really be careful with who he's flirting mindlessly with," y/n rolled her eyes.

angelina laughed, "flirting mindlessly? do you see the way he looks at you?"

"personality," y/n stated simply.

"or not."

true to his word, notes in fred's flurry of handwriting appeared neatly stacked every day. they were far too thorough and consisted of stupid flirty notes by the side. sometimes a little note, written in class, was jammed in there probably by accident:

hello freddie!

i have a crush on you 0-o, hogsmeade at 7pm on sunday?

-jamie <3, boy who sits in front of you in arithmancy

jamie,

i already have my eye on someone :) not you, sorry, y/n cringed at the bluntness of his words

you are very nice, perhaps try trera rivera if you swing that way? or illinois ann if you swing all ways?

oh i'm so sorry, i didn't know that! i'll talk to both. was the gracious answer

-jamie

and again! the lucky boy! this time from a girl.

weasley-

i know we hate each other but give me a chance to explain myself? broom closet at 9 tomorrow ? it trailed off to something that y/n didn't even want to think about.

k.o

fuck off. i don't fucking like you, i like someone else, ffs.

was the reply as y/n laughed and made sure to give the note back to fred.

it wasn't everyday someone confessed to you, right?

she underlined all the words that simply weren't legible to ask fred about.

and aNOTHER ONE?? how did this boy have so many admirers? y/n had received 0 love letters from any boy, let alone people of the same gender. you knew you were good with the ladies (and the gentlemen) when everyone sent you these letters.

dearest frederick-

it droned quite sweetly on about him and loving him and the writing was really magnificent.

margaret perrer

hi marg

i'm really really sorry. you seem like such a nice person, and it's not you, it's me. i, however, have a friend who really adores you: kenneth. he'll be an amazing friend and maybe more.

i also already am interested in another girl, so it really isn't you. thank you for your beautiful letter, hopefully we can be friends!

fred

oh he was very nice. feeling like she had overstepped the boundaries, she put them aside, discovering more and more but putting them all in a stack. she felt slightly insecure, especially when they all looked relatively neW?? the perfume on the flowers still smelled fresh?? who was this guy?

she sighed, finishing her read through and being thoroughly impressed with the sheer quality of the notes.

but there were around 100 words she had underlined. she skipped down into the great hall where she spotted two gingers. as soon as one (she couldn't see which one) saw her, he got up, whispered to the other something, and left.

when she approached the one that was left behind, she saw it was george.

"hi georgie!" she greeted him and thrust the papers into his hand, "where's fred?"

george shrugs, "left, for a date or something."

"oh, okay, could you translate these for me, the underlined words?" if y/n was disappointed, she didn't show it.

"oh yeah, sure, his handwriting's rubbish, isn't it."

"yes it is, i can barely read half of it."

george finished scribbling words next to the underlined ones.

"oh! and give these back to him? i'm pretty sure he dropped them in, probably got mixed up." she gave him the pile of letters, now neatly bundled in rope she had found.

"oh, yeah sure," george smirked, "of course."

"nice, well that's it, thanks for the help!"

"anything else?"

"tell fred good luck."

"right, right, mhm."

"yea."

once she'd left, george took out his walkie talkie.

"got that, freddie?"

"crystal clear."

"you're pining, pffft, hahahahah," george smirked as fred sighed.

"it didn't even work?"

"which plan?"

"the one to drop the letters in."

"i'm pretty sure she read like two, she didn't seem that disappointed?"

"exactly."

"you're an idiot. just tell her."

"but that's boringggg."

"well drop the hints then, merlin fred you're terrible at this."

"i haven't dated a billion girls like you!"

"then learn how to date my goodness."

"true."

"come fucking back."

"hickies or no?"

"eh go for it. i wanna see her reaction and then we can decide whether she likes you or not."

fred strided handsomely in, neck littered with little hickies and his top had two buttons open, freckles and pale broad shoulders showing.

george rolled his eyes, muttering, "drama queen," as he subtlely watched y/n. she managed not to look so surprised, her eyes widening then looking down quickly at her hands.

he would have thought she felt nothing for his twin if a light pink had not dusted over her face and if angie had not nudged her with a concerned look on her face.

y/n was wondering what the hell happened, disappointment rising slowly in her.

"okay, she's into you," george whispered as fred began removing the spell, leaving the unbuttoned shirt unbuttoned.

"cool beans."

"oh and she gives these back," george smirked.

"oh look at how she bundled it! so adorable georgie!"

"you're disgusting."

y/n hurried to the library at 6pm. she had heard the book she had waited for was finally available.

as she settled down with it, a paper aeroplane hit her.

"ahh!" she screamed as she caught it.

it read:

forbidden forest, 8pm.

huh? was this meant for her? it was in neat handwriting and on the smoothest parchment, with a single flower that smelt like fresh rain.

[marycecilyy]

Hey could you do headcanons for the mcl guys (or if not all of them castiel, armin, and kentin) when their S/O is a famous singer? Thank you❤

Oh god this turned out so longer than I expected huahahushaushu

First of all, these are too long to be headcanons, all three of them have more than 1k words each. Also, I changed a bit the prompt. It's more like "Candy has the dream of becoming a famous singer". The rest you'll see... I'll only say that I'm very proud of this one ;)

Castiel, Armin and Kentin with a Candy that wishes to be a famous singer

Castiel

Castiel wasn’t one to be friendly to new students, but he knew you weren’t like any other when you came to him and asked if Winged Skull was one of his favorite bands too. He was shocked to know that there was another person at Sweet Amoris who enjoyed the same bands as him. Yes, bands (in plural). After he answered that, yes, Winged Skull was his favorite band of all times, you started talking about your common interests and discovered that there were many.

He was a very closed off guy, but somehow you managed to break into his skull in a short time and, in a few months, you turned into best friends.

When Debrah came back and that whole situation happened, your fight with Castiel had a lot of impact over you. In your head, you had just lost your best friend forever. Fortunately. Lysander not only helped you recover from the blow and gave you energy to gather your friends and expose Debrah, but also helped you admit to yourself that, you did have feelings for Castiel.

Once she was unmasked and ran away like a coward, things quickly came back to normal. In less than one week, you had restored your reputation, your friends apologized for misjudging you, Castiel and you were once again friends. The only difference was that you knew that you were in love with him.

You didn’t tell him about your feelings right away, you decided to keep your friendship and focus a bit on your lifelong goal: become a music star. You started learning how to sing properly and doubled the days of your guitar lessons. Castiel even helped you get into the music club (they were full when you got into Sweet Amoris, but he found a way to enroll you).

You knew that your chances of actually becoming famous were pretty low, the market was difficult and depended a lot on having the right contacts. That was why, while you tried putting your name out there, your plan was to get a degree in music as soon as you finished high school. Antheros Academy offered a good education and was close, it was your best option.

As you channeled your energies towards your goal, Castiel started to acknowledge his own sentiment towards you. He liked to watch your focused face as you tuned your guitar and your singing voice earned a sweet accent all of the sudden. He always considered you a special girl, but, to his surprise, feelings were starting to develop inside his closed off chest.

That was why, as soon as he won those concert tickets on a raffle, he knew he’d take you there as your first date. Luckily for him, you accepted right away. Castiel had a feeling that night would be something else.

And it really was, as he kissed you, without even thinking it through, when the vocalist sung what he knew was your favorite tune. When you kissed him back, he wrapped his hands over your waist and lifted you up, feeling your warm lips open up for him.

The months that followed were full of bliss. With you and Castiel officially dating, the school had a lot to talk about. Amber pestered you quite a bunch of times, but that didn’t mess with your relationship at all. Everything was perfect, as it was supposed to be.

But that didn’t last long. Right after you finished high school, your dad had to move to another town because of his job and you had no choice but to go too. You were sure that your relationship would survive the distance, after all, you were in love. This situation would be worked out.

Castiel came to your new house a couple of times and you two called frequently, but in the end distance started to grow between the both of you… and it hurt. Knowing that Castiel was sad made you miserable and you decided to break up before it became unbearable.

You lost your count of how many nights you cried thinking about him.

4 years later.

You were zipping your jeans up when you heard a knock on your dressing room’s door. Who could it be? Your parents had already congratulated you over the phone, there was no one supposed to come that night. Did your manager schedule a press interview for after the show?

You put on your shirt and told whoever was on the other side to wait. When you finally opened the door, your jaw almost fell. You couldn’t believe he was there.

He looked exactly like in the magazines, (a bit less photoshopped, but that was to expect. You went through that as well and it sucked). His hair was shoulder-length and he wore a black shirt that showed off the tattoos up to the middle of his arm. He wore some light makeup, most on his skin, which you deduced his manager made him put on. Castiel looked like you expected him to after all those years, but one thing about him surprised you.

His eyes, although more mature and serious, had the same brightness as before.

"Are ya going to keep staring like that?” He asked and you noticed you had just been looking at him for a solid minute.

“Sorry. Come in.” You said and made space for him to enter the room. For your luck, there was nothing private to be seen, you had the habit of leaving your clothes and personal belongings messy and only cleaning up the second you had to go.

Castiel cleared his throat. An awkward silence hung between you. You hadn’t been alone with each other ever since the breakup. You two were two of the biggest stars of nowadays rock music, but you barely had any opportunity to talk. Not that you haven’t tried, it was the opposite. You avoided contact. Your fans knew you had dated in high school (you used to have pictures on your personal instagrams and fans were quick to dig over old accounts to find information about their idols), so they never expected a feat or any kind of collab. Everyone knew that you weren’t on best terms.

You remembered just a couple of days ago, when you were interviewed for one of those talk shows. The host made a lot of personal questions about Castiel and even asked if you would get back with him if you had the chance. You tried to avoid answering, but the public instantly read your unconscious signs: yes, you would.

That was why, you assumed, he was there. To make things clear. After all, because of you yours and his fans started shipping you two and got you on twitter’s trending topics. He probably was pissed. There was also a possibility of him wanting to take advantage of the situation, maybe propose a fake relationship? No, that wasn’t like him. Or was it? You barely knew him anymore.

“So… you probably guessed why I’m here. I saw your interview” You were right, then. “And I want to make things clear.” Ouch. You should prepare for the blow. “Look, we both know time has passed and we’re not the same as before. You broke up to avoid more suffering, and I get that. I really do.”

Castiel crossed his arms and glared at you. You looked back at him with fear, fear of knowing what his next words would be. “But...?” You asked.

“Tsk.” He huffed. This would be more difficult than he thought. “Look, little girl…” You felt a shiver run through your spine at the sound of the old nickname he gave you. You had always loved it, even though you didn’t say it out loud. After what felt like hours, he continued. “I don’t want to be cheesy, that’s not like me. So I’ll just say that if what all of the fans are theorizing is true.... If you do want to try again....”

Castiel took your hand and you jumped in surprise. He turned your palm to him and grabbed a pen from his back pocket. He wrote down a phone number on your hand and let go of it, capped the pen and turned around to go.

"That's my personal number. It’s pretty useful if you wanna call me without having to schedule an appointment with my manager.” You managed to laugh. You knew exactly how these things were annoying.

Inside, you were bursting with excitement. However, you answered playfully “Hm…. I’ll think about it, mr. Rockstar” Castiel chuckled and excused himself, saying that his manager would get pissed at him if he took too long. You smiled.

Maybe it was not over, after all.

Armin

When you told Armin, very early on your friendship, that your dream was to become a famous singer, he got so excited for you. He already knew that you played the guitar and was good at singing, but he had no idea that you wanted to make this your career path.

You couldn’t have chosen a better partner. Being the tech nerd that Armin was, he helped you a lot in recording your covers with the best quality possible considering the amateur camera and microphone you had.

However, the times that his presence most comforted you was when you showed him your new songs. He was always eager to see your composing progress and gave you pure honesty in his feedback, keeping in mind that he was no expert but still wanted to help you.

You always asked him for a way to return his favors, but he always said that it was his duty as your best friend to support you and that it was more than enough having you to talk about all his geek interests.

As time passed, you started to notice that you liked him way more as a friend. Without an idea of what to do, you asked Rosa and Alexy for advice. They were your closest friends apart from your crush (and you couldn’t run to him in that situation, duh)

After a dozen pro tips and date ideas from them, you decided to take Armin to the movies (basic, you knew, but couldn’t go wrong).

When you asked him if he was available Saturday night, you didn’t say properly “Hey, we’re going on a date”. Actually, you didn’t mention the word “date” at all, hoping that he would read between the lines.

And he did, because as soon as you sat and the film started, Armin grabbed your hand that was resting in the armrest and entwined your fingers. You couldn’t pay attention to what was going on screen at all and your attention was completely drawn from the movie when the boy grabbed your chin and brought your lips to his.

You only stopped kissing when the lights went on and the credits started scrolling.

“Hey…” You asked as soon as you two left the place, holding hands with him. “What was the movie about again?”

Armin laughed out loud. He teased you about it a lot before you made him confess that he didn’t know either.

A few days later, it was him who asked you out. You kept going on dates for the next week, all of them simple but interesting at the same time. However, you two weren’t dating. The whole school knew there was something going on between you two by the chuckles and timid kisses when you thought nobody saw them, but you didn’t make things official… yet. But that was about to change.

It was friday and you invited Armin over to “study” (he was sure that the afternoon would be spent between videogames and kisses, but if you wanted to call it a study session, it was okay for him).

As he comfortably sat on your bed as if it were his own, you told him to wait as you brought him some juice. When you came back, he was already grabbing his nintendo switch from his bag.

“What makes you think that we’re here to game?” You teased, handing him the glass.

“Come on, Candy, we both know that none of us are interested in learning orbital hybridization…”

“Maybe I am. I really need a good grade on those tests.” You approached him and held his jaw up so your foreheads touched. With a trailed voice, you continued. “Unless you have something more interesting to do in mind...”

Armin opened up that playful smile of his. “Oh, I do, actually.” In a quick movement that caught you off guard, he threw you in bed and started pampering you with kisses all over your face. You couldn’t stop laughing from how his hands tickled your belly, but you managed to stop him. “W-Wait, Armin!”

He looked at you, confused. “What?”

As you caught your breath, you explained that there was something you wanted to show him first. You got off the bed and went to grab your guitar that was hung up on the free wall of your bedroom.

“Did you compose a new song?” Armin deducted as you sat in front of him again, this time with your guitar in hands.

“You’ll see.” You tuned your instrument under his curious gaze. When you felt satisfied with the sound, you looked back at him. Armin didn’t miss the blush that coloured your cheeks. “I know you’d never do it, but I have to ask even so: promise you won’t laugh.”

You started playing the first chords of the song you had finished composing just a few days before. Usually, you composed simple songs that anyone could identify with, songs about friendship, inspiration, changing the world. You never wrote about your personal feelings. The notes never made you cry.

This song was special, though, because it was about him.

The day it hit you that you had feelings for him, you had the idea of writing random verses that could one day fit into a new song. After your first date, you felt so overwhelmed that, looking at the words, you decided to turn them into a song. You didn’t think it would turn into something so personal and emotional. Every note, every word, everything was clearly about him, that dorky geek you had fallen in love with.

Falling deeper every time

I can’t help but think, oh my

I’m through, but I don’t mind

Would you trade you 2D girls

For this hopeless lover

That just wants your heart?

I’ll just say that he got the message very clearly and, as soon as you finished playing, he practically jumped on you, kissing your lips with such tenderness that you almost teared up.

Of course, he asked you to be his girlfriend XD

Kentin

The first time he heard about your dream, he was still little Ken. It was one of your first days at Sweet Amoris and you two were eating cookies in the staircase. You were ranting about how sad you were that the music club was already full and you couldn’t join. Ken asked you the reason why you were so upset.

“Well… There weren’t those kind of classes in our old school. Learning how to play an instrument and sing, even during extra classes would be so cool! If I went well, maybe I’d be able to convince my dad to pay me for some private classes and then I’d be one step closer to my dream!”

“Your dream?” Ken muttered.

“Yeah! I want to become a famous singer in the future! I know that it’s impossible and even kinda silly, but-”

“No, Candy! It’s not silly at all!” Ken said. Learning more about you made him happy and he didn’t want you to think for even a second that your dream was worthless. “You shouldn't be ashamed of dreaming big. You’ll have a long, difficult path to walk through, but when you get there - and you have my word on that - I’ll be cheering for you!”

“Ken... “ You flashed your best smile at him. It meant a lot to you to have his support, he was a kind person and a very good friend (he did cross a few limits with his adoration for you, but you weren’t bothered by it). You liked being around him a lot.

-x-

“Kentin!” You threw yourself in his arms and gave him a tender kiss. “Good morning.”

Your boyfriend chuckled and held your hand, walking with you through the hallway. You talked about how your weekend had been and, between light smiles and sweet kisses, you thought of how quickly things changed between you two.

When he came back from military school, a lot of things had changed in him, including his nickname. You were facing a new person and it had been a challenge discovering Kentin and building a new relationship with him.

Even though he was a different person from before, one thing didn’t change at all and you noticed it clearly: he still liked you. Obviously he was no longer that guy who professed his feelings to everyone and followed you everywhere, he had found new ways to show you his love. You enjoyed that more mature version of him, but wished he had the opportunity to grow into a man without all the trauma he went through. You knew that most of his growth had been through suffering, and that upset you.

You didn’t know when, but somewhere into your friendship you started to grow feelings for him too. After some coaxing from Rosa and Alexy, you managed to ask him out on an official date.

The whole school already knew that Kentin was head over heels for you, but everyone was shocked to know that you loved him back as your relationship became official.

“Hey, love.”

“What?” You asked your boyfriend back as soon as you got in front of your lockers. You started looking for your books, checking that day’s classes.

“I really liked that video you posted on youtube yesterday. I never heard that song before, did you compose it yourself?”

The book you held in your hand fell to the ground. “What video?” You whispered, eyes wide.

“What do you mean, babe? That video of you singing and playing the guitar. You uploaded it yesterday night. I saw right away, you know I have my notifications turned on to all your videos. I got surprised that you decided to finally show your face and sing something of your own and- Candy? Is everything okay?”

Kentin noticed your face and got worried for you. You looked absolutely terrified.

“That video… How did you see it? I posted it as private”

“No, you didn't. It was public.” Kentin was starting to understand why you were so surprised. He put one hand on your back as you blushed and hid your face on his chest in embarrassment.

“Oh god, I can’t believe I did that! I’m so stupid! The first time I record something like that, I accidentally post it for everyone to see! Dumb, dumb Candy! Dang, now everyone’s gonna know I’m bad!”

“First of all.” Your boyfriend frowned, bringing you close to him. “You’re not dumb, you just made a mistake. And it’s okay, probably just a few people saw it. Last time I checked was before I went to sleep and it only had 20 views. But why are you so upset, Candy? Didn’t you tell me a few days ago that you were finally ready to show your face along with the covers. Did something happen to change your mind?”

“Well, I was not ready to show right away, especially not in a video that I looked terrible in. And it’s not just that. It was my first original song. I never showed it to anyone, what if it sucks?”

Kentin held your chin up and looked you in the eyes. “Candy, it doesn’t suck and you look great in the video!” You closed your eyes and snuggled close to him. “But I understand your concerns. Luckily, that can be solved if you delete the video. You’ll have other opportunities to get famous, and with better videos.”

“Yeah, I can do that.” You reached for your phone and went to your youtube page. “Fu... No way…!”

Your hands trembled. Kentin was right, the video had few views (which was good). Only 50 people had seen it, but the problem wasn’t that. For your bad luck, one of those people had been Amber. You knew that because she had left three comments on your video.

AmberOfficial: lmaooooo

AmberOfficial: Thank you for the laughs. That’s hilarious

AmberOfficial: Just give up already, looser

“That girl....” Kentin grunted, looking at your phone screen. “I swear to you, Candy, I’ll make her regret this. I’ll-”

“You don’t need to, I’m fine.”

You untangled your arms from his torso and started walking away, trying your best to hide how upset you really were. Amber was right, your music sucked. You should give up on your dream of becoming a famous singer, not only because you were bad, but also because you could barely show your face to a few people without feeling like shit. You wouldn’t be able to deal with fame.

Kentin tried to call you, but you didn’t answer. He figured you needed some time alone. He could use that time to think of something to support you and get back at Amber.

-x-

You walked out of the bathroom, your eyes red and swollen from crying. You had already deleted the video, but you couldn’t stop feeling stupid for getting so upset by a few bad comments. And feeling stupid made you even more upset.

When you got to the hallway, it was empty due to classes having already started. You probably spent half an hour locked up, but at least no one would mess with you.

You went to the garden to get some fresh air and wait until the next class started. You sat at the bench, breathed in and finally calmed down a bit.

“Candy.”

You turned around, surprised to see your boyfriend. “Kentin! What are you doing here? Classes have already started.”

He just waved his hand in a “don’t worry about that” way and sat beside you. He kissed your cheek and took your hand, checking how you were. Seeing that you seemed to be more calm, he smiled lightly at you. “So… I talked to Armin. He already found out Amber’s password and he’ll hack into Amber’s youtube account. He’ll just mess with it for a bit, delete some videos and upload some random stuff. Nothing too bad, I promise, just some memes and rickrolls.”

“Hmm…” You muttered, thinking about what he said. It wasn’t right, for sure, but you didn’t feel like stopping them. You were still hurt. “Okay. Just promise you two won’t do something serious, okay?”

He agreed. You felt a bit better, but that wasn’t enough to lift your mood and Kentin knew that. That was why he also had something else prepared. "That 's not all. I did some quick search for places where you could record that music of yours with its deserved quality. You are a good composer, Candy, believe it. Your talent doesn’t have to stay hidden in a dark room with only you, a guitar and your cellphone recording it.”

“Kentin…”

“If you want to, I’ll help you rent a studio and record your song. That would be very useful for your portfolio. I know that’s expensive, but we can find ways to-” You cut him off with a kiss. He cared about you so much, to the point of skipping classes to think of ways to make you feel better. You loved your boyfriend so much…

Lucky. You felt lucky to have him.

“I love you. Thank you for taking care of me... “ You kissed his cheek, happy to have his support. That was more than enough at that moment, Amber’s words were far behind you. All that mattered was that you could go through this.

You had Kentin, and when you had him, you had your whole world holding you so you wouldn’t fall.

[spookyfbi]

what did cody said about klave?

Omg Anon okay so, twitter user umbrellaacademy invited Cody to do a twitter space with them which they did yesterday (8PM Friday EST) and Cody stayed for OVER TWO AND A HALF HOURS answering fan questions and saying SO MANY things about Dave and Klave and I am still so overwhelmed. I have recorded it and I’ve sent the video to the host and they’ve said they’ll release it soon (although the file is massive so I suspect they’ll have a bit of trouble wrangling it like I did so it might take longer). In the meantime, some highlights under the cut:

- Dave’s favourite thing about Klaus is his openness. He’s charismatic because he’s unafraid to be himself. Cody also finds it endearing that Klaus marches to the beat of his own drum.

- He likes the idea that the briefcase brought Klaus to Dave because of fate/destiny. Dave is the missing piece of Klaus, he fills a void in Klaus. He’s as interested as we are to find out if the timeline loops back in season 3

- Dave is soft spoken. There are qualities of Dave that have grounded and soothed Klaus but also Klaus has pulled Dave out of his shell. Klaus’ openness was like an invitation to Dave to open up and be goofy and strange, and this was a vibe Cody got from Robert as well in the bar scene, but then the dynamic shifted later and he felt that Dave was the one who was opening up first.

- Dave would go with Klaus to be with his family. He would want Klaus to take the reigns and would trust Klaus re- what kind of life they could have together post Vietnam. Although there would be no hesitation from Dave about his love for Klaus, there might be hesitation about planning a life together because of the time period they were in. There’s a sense of peace and wanting to settle from Klaus. Cody just basically being solidly on the Klaus bringing Dave back to 2019 to meet his family train.

-  There is a sensitivity and self awareness to Dave, Cody thinks he accepted his sexuality but just was careful about advertising it because of the time period. He also says that his Dave in season 1 didn’t have the experience we saw in season 2 with his uncle and that might have made him more open (I am staring directly at my reverse George McFly theory).

- Dave’s love for Klaus is unconditional, he loves him for exactly who he is. Dave’s unconditional love is a foil for the conditional love Klaus gets from his family. Klaus doesn’t really know what love is and then he gets fired this laser beam of love from Dave.

- Cody that been in a play where his character was in a relationship with a guy but he thinks Rob hadn’t done that before. The director set the tone that the kiss scene was an intimate and tender scene. He feels like there was a reassurance from Dave to Klaus in that moment.

- Dave was holding 4 shot glasses in the scene where he’s holding them with both hands. 

- Cody describing Dave in 4 words - kind, sensitive, empathetic, soft. Dave would describe Klaus as free spirited, open, unfiltered, unexpected (he also put forward chaotic but didn’t stick with it and replaced it with unexpected).

- Dave’s first thought when he woke up and saw Klaus was “Is this a dream... We’re not sleeping much so this could be a dream, I wouldn’t put it past my brain” Also “The dream coming to reality but maybe not necessarily looking like what he thought.”

- He thinks Klaus probably took the dogtags off Dave after he died as a way to remember him rather than them exchanging them

- He wants Klaus and Dave’s storyline to end with love prevailing. He also floats the idea of Dave taking a dark turn and Klaus has to be the redemptive person to bring Dave back.

In preparation for playing Dave he watched the Ken Burns Vietnam War documentary series on Netflix and also looked up online about the Vietnam war. He also listened to music he thought Dave would be into from 1965-1968: He mentions Motown and Stones (Cody said he himself likes Motown)

- Cody’s favourite thing about Dave is the quality of how he loves Klaus. He describes it as pure and unconditional and simple and he talks about he thinks people need to love each other fearlessly - not just romantically but in friendships as well, especially with what’s happening now (and this sort of clarifies to me why he was talking about love over fear so passionately in the clever klaus q&a and what he meant by that)

- Cody is a fantasy nerd

- He would love to see Dave giving Klaus some agency

- He thinks that Klaus has some guilt about Dave’s death

- He would like to play a Commission agent (Commission Dave rights!!)

- Robert is very open and unassuming and funny and it was easy to have an immediate rapport with him. Cody also talked with Tom Hopper (about their mutual friend Bradley James). He also briefly met Colm and Robin and he also remembered he met Aidan (who here had a theory about a deleted scene with Aidan in the attic?)

- He doesn’t know how time works in the afterlife or how Klaus’ power works but Dave would have waited 50 years for Klaus

- Calem joined the space and they said that they hadn't interacted before but they had a bit of a chat. Calem said that his filming in season 2 was 4 days but about 1 month apart. Calem’s internet kept cutting out and then he disappeared.

- If Dave was one of the 43 children his power could be the care bear love blast and he could fire hot beams of love out of the hole in his chest. He would give Dave a more passive power to round out the more active powers the other Hargreeves have, like a healer

- The scene in the tent was filmed at the studio. The scene on the bus was shot outside. The scene in the trench was partly shot outside but some of it was shot in the studio as well (I wonder if he’s confusing that trench scene with the hallucination at the Rave though?)

- He said the scenes were beautifully lit (I beg to differ, Cody!)

- Klaus helped unlock that part of him (I think he means Dave’s sexuality) and he also says that Klaus was a very specific target to Dave’s love. Klaus seems like one in a million. When you love someone there’s something specific about them that pulls that out of you.

- Calem returns! He was in his room where the internet crapped out on him but then he went downstairs. Cody asked what it was like for Calem to come in and play an established character. Calem said he purposely didn’t talk with Cody about the character before playing him because he’d done the audition without knowing anything about the character so he didn’t want to risk doing something too different from what he’d done in the audition, but he did watch season 1. He also said he was a bit anxious about what the audience would think of him playing the character, and Cody went into acting mentor mode and said that he doesn’t think the job is about appeasing the fans but about trying to be as true as possible. He also said that Calem did a good job and he shouldn’t be hard on himself but Calem then said that he quickly got over it and he wasn’t thinking about it on set, just afterwards. Calem mentioned that he creeped Cody’s IMDB and he said that his dad was a camera operator on Lizzie Borden Chronicles this Cody guest starred in an episode of.

- Dave loves music like Cody. He mentioned Four Tops as another band and then Motown again. He thinks the bar scene shows Dave’s love of music but he wasn’t thinking about that at the time.

- Dave would be overstimulated at first if he came to the future because we’re bombarded with a lot more stimulus than in the 60s. The internet and iPhones would blow his mind. He let’s a “we’ll see” slip, which he then quickly corrects to “we would see”

- The kiss in the bar was definitely the first kiss and he thinks it happened a couple months into the tour. He thinks the feelings were mutual quite early, but that it would have taken some time to act on them and to be able to gauge if each other were really giving off the signals that they like each other.

- He’s appreciative of the fan love and he tries to make a connection with everyone he can

- Dave is an optimistic force who thinks that love will prevail so he would have wanted to do something to make it work despite the obstacles they faced

- Cody doesn’t know how close to the vest Klaus kept the stuff about his powers and the time travel etc but he did see Klaus appear so he does know there’s something strange about him. Dave trusted Klaus and even if it wasn’t explicitly talked about there was enough trust to go “wherever you go I’ll follow, wherever that leads.” When Klaus conjures Dave, Dave is excited to see him but isn’t really surprised or put off by any of the circumstances that Klaus is in.

- He thinks that Dave is more the listener of the relationship, but he could certainly see Dave telling Klaus about Dune and Klaus indulging him.

- Rob is very genuine, very unassuming, very immediately open, very funny, definitely puts you at ease, incredibly thoughtful, very considerate, good dude (wow it’s the complimenting Rob speed run! 8 in a row!)

- The aspect of Dave that Cody connects to most is his non-judgemental quality

- Dave would connect with Vanya’s softness and Luther’s moral compass (he said Diego’s moral compass in the cleverklaus q&a so not sure if he just mixed them up). He thinks Dave might be a bit too sincere for Five and Ben would appreciate being able to unload Klaus on Dave.

- He thinks Dave is not a tattoo guy but Klaus is impulsive so getting a tattoo really aligns with his personality. He thinks that Dave’s actions speak louder than words written on him

- He connects to the fractured family theme of the show on a personal level

- Dave being jewish was something he only learned about through looking at the dogtags, it wasn’t in the script or anything

- Dave might have studied Philosophy if he’d gone to college instead of joining the military, he feels like there’s a dreamer quality to Dave

- Even though Dave was pressured into joining the military, he thinks that Dave believed he was going the right thing by enlisting

- Colm is a Canadian Hall of Fame actor and Reginald is such an intense character so Cody would love to do a scene with him. He would also love to do a scene with Elliot.

- Cody remembered waiting on set to film the scene in the club and he, Rob and Tom were in an 80s hotel with a heart shaped jacuzzi (??? oh was this the set with the Handler and Agnes maybe?)

[thatfeelinwhenyou]

SMOKE SCREENS & CIGARETTES — teaser (18+)

How does it feel to be the you that has abandoned the façade of living up to the expectations of others, venturing into the uncharted territories of your inner truth, and exploring the new horizons of what it means to be truly and completely you?

IN WHICH; a popular girl uncovers the smart goody-two-shoes was in fact living a double life.

pairing: collegestudent!heeseung x collegestudent!fem!reader

taglist: not opened yet! will update when i'm taking in tags!

coming to you soon! (hopefully)

Lee Heeseung is always known as the quiet boy in class. Although his popularity in school would suggest otherwise, he is never viewed as the rebellious or partying type. In fact, he is the kind of student who reminds the teacher about pending assignments just as the lesson is about to conclude. Simply put, Lee Heeseung fits the stereotype of a nerd—at least, that's the version of him you are accustomed to.

So, when you unexpectedly encounter him at a club in another city during your summer break, his hair, now sporting green highlights, is slicked back instead of covering his eyes as it typically does on campus. He has multiple metal studs hanging from his earlobe, but above all, he seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself, dancing, drinking, and smoking without inhibition. Needless to say, you are taken aback.

While it's not uncommon for an overage university student to be partying during their vacation, this is Lee Heeseung we're talking about. The last thing you'd expect is to see him in Club Dark Moon, one hand holding a glass of some intoxicating liquid, and the other wrapped around the waist of a girl who appears to be of similar age to yourself.

This is the same Lee Heeseung who never knows when to take a hint in class, always finding an opportunity to correct the teacher. The Lee Heeseung who never fails to maintain perfect posture throughout 3-hour long lectures. The Lee Heeseung who becomes unresponsive and distant when the conversation veers away from academic topics. The Lee Heeseung who secretly envies you because you embody everything he isn't.

Now, in the flesh, is The Lee Heeseung embodying everything you thought he wasn't.

You are popular yourself, considering your extroverted and altruistic nature; you are popular because you know how to party. Lee Heeseung is popular because he is a quiet and smart kid yet has a mysterious aura that makes him so god damn attractive. The two of you are complete polar opposites, each other's antonyms, and while possessing many contradictory qualities, you are actually similar to one another in many ways that don't meet the eye.

You frequently attend the weekly Friday night parties hosted by the university fraternities. And with each step you take, you effortlessly command the attention of every person present, your magnetic presence impossible to ignore. Everybody yearns to be in your orbit; guys want you, while girls admire your confidence and charisma, secretly wishing to be you. Your friends eagerly drag you to every party down the block, basking in the reflected glow of being associated with The Y/L/N Y/N—a name synonymous with popularity and social prowess.

Despite the overwhelming amount of attention you receive throughout your undergraduate career, a persistent sense of unease gnaws at you as you find yourself grappling with a profound sense of disconnection. While externally you seamlessly blend into the pulsating dynamic of university life, internally, you’re like a solitary figure navigating a sea of expectations and obligations. You fit in, but at the same time, you don’t.

You always think that maybe you're just stressed out with assignment deadlines. Well, clearly, since you’re partying when you should be working on the next paragraph of your final year thesis. If only the answer were as simple as that.

No, you're not stressed. You just simply do not belong to the party life. However, as the nights blur into days and the days into weeks, you begin to feel the weight of societal expectations pressing down on you, particularly the burden of being labelled as the "popular kid." And popular kids always arrive fashionably late to every party. Popular kids are the lives of the party. Popular kids are party animals.

By the time you notice your desolation, you're already too far gone, you've convinced yourself that this is your life and all you have to do is suck it up, at least until you graduate. You're constantly trying to squeeze yourself into the mould of expectations that your peers have so delicately carved out for you, that you often find yourself questioning the authenticity of your existence, wondering if the facade of popularity is worth sacrificing yourself. Your true self.

And that's being the ambitious and studious girl you always were and still are. You would rather stay at home and finish writing your 100-page psychological analysis on 'Social Cognition and Perception', or finish reading the third volume of the 'Persuasion, Propaganda, and Marketing' trilogy.  Hell, you would even rather do a mountain of chores than attend another frat party.

Though you long to share your intellectual passions with your friends, you hesitate, aware that their interests lie elsewhere. They’re in it for the social society life, effortlessly navigating sorority events and basking in the glow of admiration that comes with being in your inner social circle. Yet, beneath their carefree façade, they remain oblivious to the dedication and diligence required to maintain your impeccable grades. Only assuming that you’re a natural-born beauty and brains.

Thus, this label of being the “popular kid” becomes both a mantle of honour and a burden to bear, as you struggle within the confines of a stereotype that fails to encapsulate the complexity of your identity.

It’s your last break before your final semester and you are thrilled as you eagerly plan your to-do list over the summer break. Maybe learn to play the guitar, go on a hike, or finally start reading that fiction book you had put off for months. You envision checking it all off before the final semester begins. However, your plans are unexpectedly put on hold when your friends suggest a pre-graduation chalet trip to a province northeast of Seoul.

This trip marks your first time travelling outside of the city, and it's with your adventurous, somewhat reckless friends. The decision is made hastily, with everything arranged at the eleventh hour. Your friends unanimously agree to simply "go with the flow," as Yunjin puts it.

Unfortunately for you, your meticulous personality type craves structure and detailed planning, and you are only able to feel at ease if you have an itinerary to follow. Hence, it’s not a surprise that you were apprehensive about embarking on this trip. You even considered skipping the excursion altogether. Except that wouldn't be fitting for a popular kid, would it? Popular kids should be laid-back and adaptable, they should be going with the flow too, they do not need people telling them what to do should listen and act on what people expect of them.

"Y/N! We're leaving in 5 minutes, will you be ready soon?" Chaewon barges into your room in the Airbnb that the four of you share. Despite your reluctance, you plaster on your flawless façade and smile. "Yes, yes, I'm ready. So impatient as always," you half-jokingly roll your eyes, relieved that Chaewon doesn't catch the genuine hesitation in your tone.

It’s not that you dislike your friends or anything; in fact, you're grateful that they're the most genuine people you've met at university. Unlike most students who sacrifice their integrity to gain favour, your friends are refreshingly candid about their opinions of you. While you and Chaewon didn't hit it off at first, now you're practically two peas in a pod. Yet, it doesn't change the fact that you've become a puppet catering to your friends' partying whims.

As you gaze into the mirror, you confront a version of yourself that you yourself could barely recognise. The person you once were—vibrant, authentic, and unapologetically yourself—has become obscured beneath layers of societal expectations and peer pressure. Still, it wouldn’t be the first time choosing to pretend the girl in the mirror is you, because what’s another day of grinding up your confidence and making it a meal that would last you an hour at best?

So, you do what you do best—picking out the skimpiest dress you own, spraying on your most testosterone-provoking perfume, and drawing a cat-eye sharp enough to kill anyone who dares to meet your gaze.

[oyster-sauce-tart]

My twst oc, Yuuko reference (with more info under the cut)

Oh yeah and click for better quality

Basic info

Twisted from: Disney Princesses (the concept of them!!)

Name: Yuuko

Grade/Class: Freshmen/Class A (No. 26)

Birthday: January 21 (Aquarius)

Age: 15

Height: 167 cm (around 5’4”)

Dominant Hand: both

Homeland: ???

Club: Equestrian

Best Subject: History

Hobbies: Cleaning

Pet peeves: being mocked

Favorite food: anything with cheese

Least favorite food: chocolate

Likes: animals, cooking, cleaning, domestic activities

Dislikes: people

Talent: Animal Linguistics

Description

The vice prefect of Ramshackle Dorm who shares student identification with a monster named Grim. Despite his well-kept appearance and seemingly serious demeanor he’s actually quite prone to more reactive behavior. Easily riled up, by humans especially, he can end up wrapped up into things without realizing it until the very end.

However he does have a type of soft side, when it comes to animals he becomes more noticeably in a better mood and other mannerisms such as a gentler tone.

Fun facts

He has this weird sixth sense that even he can’t explain when it comes to discerning what person he meets is human or not, this can be an easy tell by how positive he interacts with them

Yuuko’s shoes were found in Ramshackle dorm, it doesn’t fit perfectly but they are quite nice!

He doenst seem like it, but Yuuko’s actually the type to get easily distracted! Although he will prioritize the task at hand first, you can bet he’ll be randomly running off once it’s done w/o telling anyone! His friends would’ve put a leash on him if they didn’t believe he would chew through them

Back in his world, Yuuko never wore glasses despite needing them. He never could’ve afforded it with his living situation.

Along with that, Yuuko’s an absolute Disney nerd. Sometimes he’ll sing an old Disney song and many people in Twisted Wonderland end up believing he’s a fan of Classical music.

That’s all I have for now, feel free to send an ask if you’re interested in my oc!! Pls. Pls ask pls I’m begging you

[potter-imagines]

George Weasley Dating Ravenclaw!Reader Would Include...

-       George loves to take photos of you

-       Like absolutely adores it

-       His side of his dorm has at least ten different pics of the two of you taped to the walls

-       Fred never misses an opportunity to taunt George for this

-       “Jesus, George, you’d think you’re an obsessive stalker with the amount of photos you have of Y/n. Kinda of concerning…”

-        George brings you home for Christmas break

-       Molly adores you- like is way more excited to see you walking through the front door, rather than her actual children. “Y/n! Oh, Y/n, dear, you look beautiful! Come inside! Out of the cold you go- I’ve got a warm cup of tea waiting for you, dear.”

-       Fred would walk in behind you rolling his eyes mumbling, “Good to see you too, birth giver. I missed you as well, love you too.”

-       Pulling all nighters with him

-       Some were for studying, some just to spend some more time with each other, and some because you two couldn’t seem to uh, ‘fall asleep’ or rather, keep your hands off one another

-       If you didn’t know how to already, George would teach you how to play Quidditch

-       You’re typically the little spoon and even though he’d never mention in aloud, he secretly loved when you were the big spoon

-       When you first started dating, George’s friends would tease him for being with a Ravenclaw

-       They classed you as a stereotypical Ravenclaw, before even speaking with you

-       Fred reassured them they’d like you but Ron was skeptical

-       Mostly because he couldn’t understand why a Ravenclaw was dating his brother

-       Although you were a true Ravenclaw at heart, that didn’t mean you were a bookworm ‘nerd’ who only cared about school and had your nose to the sky

-       Most Ravenclaws you knew were more honest that stuck up, you had a tendency to say exactly what you thought

-       And George loved this

-       He had never met a girl like you before- one who served it the teasing and flirtatious wilderness right back to him

-       He’d plan extravagant jokes with his twin to try an woo you

-       Your friends would giggle and whisper whenever George came around, all staring at you knowingly

-       They had all placed bets on how long it would take George Weasley, the jokester Gryffindor, to ask you, the clever and competitive Ravenclaw, out on a date

-       It only took about two weeks after that for him to make the first move

-       After Potions class, George would walk with you in towards the Great Hall, complimenting you the entire way

-       You two would sit together, much to your surprise and by the end of the meal, he would ask you out on a proper date for that weekend to Hogsmeade

-       He’d buy magical eternal flowers at Hogsmeade on your first date

-       Flirting doesn’t die down with George just because you’re a couple

-       If anything, he becomes cheekier and touchier

-       He isn’t huge on PDA, but he likes when you sit on his lap in the courtyard or either of your common rooms.

-       PDA for the two of you is more hand holding, forehead kisses, arm around your shoulder, small pecks, tight hugs before class, etc.

-       Snape had scolded the two of you more time than you could count “There will be no embracing of any sorts outside, or inside my class, Miss. Y/l/n and Mr. Weasley.” “Yes, professor. We’re sorry-” “No we’re-“ Having to drag George away before he gets you two into more trouble.

-       He’d call you sweet names like; love, darling, princess, and angel (His favorite name to use in the bedroom.).

-       But his absolute favorite nickname for you is “little Ravenclaw”

-       He loves buying you maroon presents

-       He likes to think he’s secretly converting you to a Gryffindor, but he knew you had too much pride for your house and would never fully switch to his side

-       You two will play childish games like hide and seek around the castle during the weekends

-       It’s more fun when you include your other friends

-       But when it’s just you and George playing

-       The game typically ends with the two of you half naked in an empty classroom

-       Walks behind you up the stairs so he can pinch your butt “George- knock it off!” “But it’s so cute and I wanna touch it.” “Not now.”

“So you’re saying there will be a later, right?”

-       Studying together

-       Despite common assumption, George Weasley is exceptionally brilliant

-       You two have competitions on who can score the highest mark

-       George was usually a point or two away from you but it didn’t stop you from gloating

-       “Ha, ha, Georgie. Take that! Now you owe me a back massage and a butterbeer this weekend!” “I can give you more than a backrub, darling.” “George!”

-       Sneaking him into the Ravenclaw towers past curfew

-       He loves that you are willing to break rules for him

-       It exhilarating to you both

-       You’re very close with his friends- especially Fred and Hermione

-       Fred and George would convince you to help them with pranks, little at a time

-       But soon enough

-       You’d basically becoming a trio

-       They’d find a way to drag you into planning and executing nearly all their pranks with them

-       It made you extremely nervous at first

-       You had never been in real trouble before, and it wasn’t something you desired

-       But George would reassure you constantly “Love, you don’t have to help if you don’t want to, we won’t be upset. But if you do, I won’t let anything happen to you or let you get caught. I promise, darling.”

-       And he never failed to keep his word

-       Until one day

-       There was one time, late winter of your final year

-       Fred and George were readying to leave Hogwarts to open their shop, Weasley Wizard Wheezes, and had invited you to join them

-       You contemplated the thought for a week before deciding to finish off the end of your year, then move in with George and his brother once summer came

-       The twins’ pranking antics had grown more intense since Umbridge arrived

-       Everyone despised her- well except the Slytherin’s who she favored

-       The twins’ landed themselves in detention with her on more than five occasions and they had enough

-       Late one Saturday in February, Fred and George had enchanted a portal swamp outside Umbridge’s office door, a spell you had taught them

-       Right as the swamp appeared, footsteps began to approach quickly from behind

-       Fred darted left and George took off after him, both assuming you’d follow

-       But panic hit and you ran in the opposite direction, smacking right into Filch, Umbridge emerging not long after from the other corridor

-       You were caught red handed, Umbridge took the wand in your grip as enough evidence to prosecute you

-       George had reached the end of the corridor when he turned around and realized you weren’t behind him but by the time he and Fred stealthily snuck back to Umbridge’s office

-       The door was swinging shut

-       And the once bubbling green swamp was gone

-       Not long passed before George could hear your voice and his chest stiffened at once

-       The twins hid behind a wall, until George ushered Fred off to monitor the hall leading towards their common room

-       Ten or so minutes passed until the door squeaked open and you quickly rushed off, salty tears threatening to spill over your eyes

-       George yanked you softly from behind a wall before you could make it up the first step of the shifting stairs

-       You hissed in pain when his fingers unknowingly wrapped around your fresh wound “Ow, my hand- George it hurts.”

-       His eyes would widen, then soften with comfort as he studies your hand “Darling, I’m so sorry. I should’ve taken the fall- I should’ve realized you weren’t following us and went back sooner. I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

-       You’d cry, not because you were mad at him or blame him but because of the never ending burning sensation in your bloodied hand

-       You’d reassure him and insist it was your own fault

“I froze, Georgie. I’m the only one to blame. I don’t know why I didn’t go the same way as you guys, I just got scared of getting caught… and now this happened cause I was dumb.” “You’re not dumb, darling, don’t say that. I promised to never let you get hurt because of one of our pranks and I broke that promise. Umbridge is a cold bitch, I can’t keep putting you in these risks situations and letting you get hurt.”

-       He’d sneak you into his dorm that night

-       None of his friends would oppose, especially after hearing about what happened

-       Fred and Lee slept on the large couches in the common room so the two of you could have the night alone

-       George is an amazing cuddling partner- like the best

-       You two would lay in his bed together, snuggled under a stack of blankets

-       He’d convince you to wear one of his Gryffindor shirts

-       Then take a picture of you in it when you weren’t paying attention to tease you with

-       “I’m going to show this to all your little Ravenclaw friends to show them that you’re really a Gryffindor!” “Am not! I’m a Ravenclaw-“ “I’m gonna put some Gryffindor inside of you tonight, princess.” “You dirty bastard! Don’t you say that in front of any of my friends, please, I’m begging you.” “I’m sure they already know, love. It’s not like they haven’t heard us before.”

-       You would get annoyed beyond beliefs after being with George for years and your friends still confusing him with Fred, or assuming they were the same person

-       You loved Fred, but you were in-love with George, and there were many differences between them besides your relationship status

-       Fred was the friend who could cheer you up, listen to you rant, help you get revenge on a professor for poor marks, hangout with you, give you advice, and all the great qualities that a best friend should have

-       But George Weasley

-       George was all of the above and more

-       He had a different thought process- slightly different mindset than his twin

-       You loved the deep, intellectual conversations you could have with George

-       One moment you two would be discussing the purpose of life and the origination of languages

-       Then the next you’d be debating over the worst flavor of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans

“George, how you can you even argue this? You know vomit and rotten egg are the two worst flavors!” “Vomit, yes. Rotten eggs, no. I’d take that over earthworm. Now that one is bloody disgusting!”

-       There was a connection- a magnetic pull that drew you and George together

-       He understood you on a more personal level than any other person you knew

-       There were secrets he’d share with you late at night that not even Fred knew

-       Like how he wanted to be a Mediwizard up until his fourth year

-       George would bring you books he’d read on break for you

-       You two liked to start a book together right before break, then finish over break and talk about it once you returned to each other

-       Fred would tease George relentlessly for reading over the holiday break “God, next thing I know you’re going to starting knitting sweaters with each other and painting your nails together.” “Jealous, Fred? A shame you can’t find an intelligent girl of your own but don’t be made that I have.”

-       George will write you letters when you’re away for each other

-       He’ll do cute little things like send a single dainty flower that he picked from his mom’s garden and seal it inside the envelope

-       His favorite to gift you are lilacs- the smell reminds him of you and is comforting when you’re gone

-       He’s always been a bit more in touch with his emotional side than his twin

-       But you loved those differences

-       You two hard a pretty serious relationship from the start but that didn’t mean you weren’t playful

-       You two hard a pretty serious relationship from the start but that didn’t mean you weren’t playful

-       Both George and you knew you wanted to spend forever together the first time you walked through Hogsmeade together

-       And neither of you wanted to waste anytime fooling around when you knew what you wanted

-       George is a honest gentleman, always putting your needs first

-       Even after you leave Hogwarts with the twins

-       With all his busy work and the booming business and success of the shop, you assumed your time together would be spared

-       It was in a way

-       But George always put in the extra effort to keep the spark alive

-       Before opening the shop, he’d usually try to set your alarm clock back three hours in hopes of you getting the extra sleep he knew you deserved

-       Sometimes it worked, but other times you’d meet him in the shop at open with a smug smile on your face “Love, you should be asleep! You’re too clever, little Ravenclaw.” “You still call me that, even after all this time?” “You’ll always be my little Ravenclaw. I could never love another.”

-       He’ll surprise you during work with random sweets, sentimental cards, picking you up lunch and a coffee/tea, and buying you flowers

-       George can be extremely sweet when he wants to and for you, there is never a moment where he doesn’t

-       The two of you would get married shortly after the second war ended, not that anyone was surprised.

[earthstellar]

Rewatching Transformers G1 S2: Episode 1: Autobot Spike

Yes, this is where the Surprised Ratchet meme image comes from:

This episode has a lot going on including near-death of a human character on screen, body horror/a Frankenstein plot, and some genuinely unsettling scenes mostly made creepy due to the combination of some interesting dialogue/voice acting and typical G1 Quality. 

And Spike shoots Starscream in the ass mid-flight, which is fantastic. 

He also shoots his dad, which is less fantastic. 

Being a horror nerd, I love this episode, so here we go! 

Gonna put this below a cut because I’m taking a lot of screenshots here:

You can watch the whole episode on YouTube here in 4 parts, if you want to watch along! 

Alright, so it opens with Sparkplug trying to create “Autobot X”, which is straight up just a Frankenstein’s Monster of autobot parts. It’s weirdly creepy, and vaguely reminiscent of the infamous Ratchet-Megatron fusion in the Marvel comics.

I want to point out that Sparkplug says “I wanna see what I can do with a lotta spare Autobot parts and some human ingenuity” before the reveal shot above, and that’s horrific if you think about it for more than like, three seconds. 

It also may have been the origins of the MECH plot line in TFP, actually! Very similar body horror type thing going on. Anyway.

It works briefly, but it flips out and has to get shut down. 

Ironhide fires a laser, problem solved, nobody’s worried. They put Autobot X in storage, because surely a rampantly aggressive seemingly sentient pastiche of random Autobot parts is nothing to worry about. It’s fine. 

Wheeljack is like, hell yeah, I’ll help you work on it later. Which is when we get the Surprised Ratchet image, because yeah, I bet Ratchet’s freaked out a little since this thing is made of SPARE AUTOBOT PARTS. 

Then we’re swept immediately into a fight with Megatron, as many Seekers as you can fit in frame at one time, and Soundwave. 

For whatever reason, Bumblebee shows up driving through a bunch of partially blown up missile/rocket components, with Spike in the driver’s seat. Even Spike is like, dude, why are we here? And Bumblebee is just like, I mean, we couldn’t NOT show up. lmao

Unsurprisingly, Bumblebee gets shot-- In alt-mode, with Spike inside. Uh oh. 

Megatron leaves, because Frank Welker can only voice so many characters at once, and our attention is turned to the carnage. 

Ratchet is like, sure, I can fix Bumblebee right up! Meanwhile, Ironhide is like oh god, oh my god, is this how you hold a human??? Is it dead??? Optimus is gonna be pissed. 

So Optimus rolls up like, listen, take him to the hospital, come on. Ratchet lets him in the back of his ambulance mode, and Prowl goes with him so that he can throw his emergency lights on to give the illusion of a police escort, ensuring the drive is even quicker. 

(I miss the days when Prowl wasn’t a total asshole.) 

It cuts pretty quickly to Spike in an operating theatre; Apparently getting shot by alien space lasers isn’t conducive to human health: 

It cuts again to the attending physician standing at Spike’s beside, presumably in ICU although they appear to be in a private room, with Sparkplug on the other side of the bed. 

The doctor says “Hmm, if only there were a way of separating Spike’s mind from his body while we work...” Which, uh, what? What surgeon says that? You can sort of already do that in actual human medicine, it’s called an induced coma. 

But sure, we need exposition here, I get it. The screenplay here is tight. Sparkplug says he has an idea...

Back at the Autobot hangout, things seem fairly chill, considering. 

Ratchet is welding Bumblebee’s ass in alt-mode, while Bumblebee complains about how long it’s taking. lol 

Meanwhile, Wheeljack and Sparkplug somehow have Spike hooked up to a Ghostbusters colander helmet, which will hopefully transfer his mind into the malfunctioning/in stasis Autobot X frame. Yikes. 

It works! Spike is now also Autobot X. We will call him Spike X for short. 

And for some reason, Spike saying “D-Da-ad?” with this faceplate expression is incredibly funny to me, while also being really weird and creepy: 

However, this is only cool for like two seconds, at which point Spike X truly starts to lose his shit. 

It gets real creepy here, with Spike X saying in a very oddly flat inflection “Why? Why did you do this to me? Why?” and it’s pretty wild. There’s even a mild strobe effect for a few frames. 

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker try to help calm him down, but Spike X throws them both across the room. 

Optimus is like, oh shit, we made a giant metal teenager. Stop him, but use low power, because if the Autobot X frame is damaged too much, then Spike’s consciousness may not be able to be returned to his actual human body. 

Note that Optimus says this in a pretty relaxed way, then levels a shoulder mounted cannon straight at Spike X, which is incredibly funny. 

It quickly gets deeply weird and creepy again when Spike X is temporarily able to talk with his dad, and states that “it’s hard to think, like something is telling me to do... bad.... things!” Yiiiiiikes. 

He gets it under control again, apologises to his dad for the outburst (I think it’s OK, Spike), and Optimus says that he’s cool to stay at the base and he’ll be taken care of while his human body heals up. 

However, oh shit, the Decepticons have found out that Spike now has an Autobot frame-- And they know he’s unstable. 

Starscream tries to roast him, but Megatron’s like, shut up nerd, we’re gonna make Spike X turn against the Autobots! It’s a good plan, I’m serious! 

Back at the Autobot base, Ratchet is still welding Bumblebee’s ass, and Bumblebee is still complaining. Wheeljack hooks up Spike X with some network television, and he’s watching... Frankenstein. Because the six year old kids who are the intended audience of G1 may not be familiar with the source material for this episode’s plot, I guess, which is fair. (Frank Welker nails it here as Dr. Frankenstein, but that’s unsurprising, because he always nails it. I think he’s also voicing Frankenstein’s Monster, but I haven’t checked the credits.)

Obviously, this isn’t a great thing for Spike X to be watching at this particular moment, so he freaks out again. 

Wheeljack and Sparkplug come running, and somehow Sparkplug is covering ground faster than Wheeljack. It’s fine, don’t worry about it. 

Ratchet’s progress on welding Bumblebee’s ass is interrupted by Spike X breaking through the wall and seemingly flying away. lmao 

They just sort of stand there, like, well, we lost him, I guess. 

Bumblebee is like, alright, gonna go get my boy. 

So he drives out of this massive crater, and Ratchet is like, wait! Your radio transmitter still doesn’t work. (Apparently their radio transmitters are located in their asses. Fascinating.) 

Spike X sits on a cliff and says “what a drag”, which, yeah. Being a Frankenstein space robot would be cool if not for the immense psychological damage this is absolutely causing. 

However, he also calls himself a “walking garbage can” in a completely genuine put-out tone of voice, which absolutely sells that this is a teenager in a giant robot body and I laughed, I won’t lie. 

Some of Megatron’s cronies locate him and hold his position. 

At the same time, Bumblebee shows up and tries to talk Spike X down from a random destructive rampage. 

He throws Bumblebee off the cliff! And Megatron’s squad is rolling up. (Well, flying up, anyway.) Uh oh! 

Spike X is like, hell yeah, bring it. More ass to kick. And it turns out his arm mounted cannon works, because he shoots Starscream directly in the undercarriage and says “YEAH, MAN!” and it’s so genuine. 

This is the perfect reaction to being a teenager in a giant robot body and just suddenly being able to shoot lasers and kick ass. Look at how happy he is, that he just shot Starscream in the butt mid-air. It’s awesome.

Unfortunately, the Seekers do actually beat him up, although Spike X puts up a good fight. 

Megatron then takes advantage of his further weakened state, and swoops in to pitch a classic “Join Us” speech. Spike X calls him “Megacrumb”, which is probably acceptable because he’s absolutely concussed by this point. 

Megatron is willing to overlook this for the sake of teaming up. 

Bumblebee eavesdrops, and drives away-- But Spike X gives Megatron a handshake, and agrees to “make them pay”. Oh shit! 

For some reason, Optimus and Ironhide are back at the rocket facility to watch a launch. Because I guess whatever, this whole situation is chill, let’s go watch rockets? IDK 

But either way, Optimus roasts the inferior quality of human technology, while Bumblebee just drives up on site despite Military Police levelling sniper rifles at him in order to report that Megatron is taking advantage of Spike X’s inability to think clearly. 

Optimus says “I feared something like this might happen”, which, if that were the case, why not take actions to prevent it, maybe? Not the strongest Optimus episode. 

To be fair though, Ironhide transforms and is already driving off before Optimus even gives the order to roll out, so I guess Ironhide either really wants to kick some ass or cares slightly more about Spike X’s wellbeing. He has no dialogue here, so we can only guess. 

They get there, with even more Autobots who showed up at some point in the rapid scene cuts here, and Spike X is super unhinged-- Charging his weapons, he starts speaking in a more strained and angry way, and engages the Autobots! 

He hits Optimus with what appears to be a chest laser? It’s hard to see. But it’s super effective: 

Optimus pleads with Spike X to calm down, but Spike X straight up pulls MEGATRON IN GUN MODE out of his sub-space and shoots Optimus directly in the faceplate. Damn! 

The Seekers and Soundwave drop in, and start rapid firing on all the Autobots present. 

We get some great shots of Megatron in his gun alt-mode as he tries to convince Spike X to keep attacking. Optimus and Bumblebee hide behind cover, attempting to bring Spike X to his senses long enough to disarm him. 

Suddenly, Wheeljack and Sparkplug roll up; Sparkplug attempts to talk some sense into Spike, too. 

Optimus and Bumblebee are at a loss; If they take out Spike X, the damage might take him out for good. 

However, Sparkplug fails in his efforts to talk to Spike X; He SHOOTS HIS DAD AND KNOCKS HIM OFF THE CLIFF. 

Can you imagine if they put an ad break here? lmao 

Luckily, he has like, a claw machine arm, and he catches his dad before he becomes a human smoothie. 

This shocks Spike X badly enough that while he still has Megatron in gun mode, he takes a few pot shots at the Seekers and the Decepticons decide it’s time to bounce, so Megatron bails too. 

He apologises for almost killing his dad, his dad is like hey no beef man, and it cuts to them in the hospital: 

Sparkplug takes his son’s body back to the Autobot base (that sounds worse than it is), and they prepare to transfer him back into his body. 

What’s extra funny here is that he nervously laughs and says “Hope you fixed this thing up good, Ratchet!” And Ratchet says absolutely nothing. Not a word. 

It’s a success! Dad and son hug, totally not even addressing anything that happened this whole episode, because that’s a job for a therapist. 

Ratchet, who continues to not really care about any of this, tells Wheeljack “You know, I could probably repair that mess, but I think it’s best that I don’t.” (This is a play on what Wheeljack said earlier in the episode when he offered to help Sparkplug fix up Autobot X to begin with.) 

I love how tired Wheeljack looks. LOL

Spike, now recovered, leaves us with a great question to close out the episode: “I wonder what it’d be like for a robot mind to be transferred... to a human!” 

Depending on what kind of kid you were, his question was either imagination fuel for fun humanformer ideas, or was a blatantly bad question indicating he learned nothing and providing nightmare fuel trying to imagine one of the Autobots losing their shit in a human body the same way Spike lost his shit while inhabiting Autobot X. 

Anyway, great episode! 10/10 Scary, funny, creepy, Starscream got shot in the ass by a teenager.