#although now that it's over i don't know how to motivate myself to watch all the rest

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part Five

Summary: You start a conversation with Jungkook about where you stand but are interrupted by an uninvited visitor Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 4.7K~ Warnings: Suggestive and explicit language (an argument). Nothing too crazy honestly. Horribly edited too because it's been three weeks and I wanted to get it out! a/n: Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out but I was away from home for a week and then wrote a couple of one shots and blah blah blah lol but anyways I hope you enjoyyyy Requested by: @kkusadmirer 💜

After our eventful afternoon Jungkook and I ended up laying in his bed and watching movies since like he said, he wanted me to be "well rested" before we have the talk. The talk that could change everything between us... 

There are multiple outcomes to this scenario and I'm not sure if I'm ready for any of them. 

On one hand he could say this was all a mistake and he was just acting on his urges. I know now for damn sure though that he's attracted to me but I don't know what his motives and feeling are towards me. If he even has any besides surface level physical attraction. 

On the other hand he could want to pursue a friends with benefits sort of arrangement. Being fuck buddies or whatever with an older man does sound exciting when I think about doing it with him. It's just that don't know if I'd want something like that even if it was with him. 

I told Jared before that I wanted to save myself for marriage and I feel like that's something I still want to stick to. I've definitely crossed so many lines with Jungkook in the last not even twenty four hours, more like twelve hours or something like that but regardless lines have been crossed and I'm still not sure how I feel about any of it. 

I want to say that I don't regret it and it's not just because it felt fucking phenomenal and out of this world but because I feel safe with him.

It might just be because over the past couple of months that I've been living with him he's become someone I care about and honestly trust with my life so I didn't really feel a need to say no to him. I wanted it to happen, I know I did I just didn't really think it would ever happen. I thought that it would stay in my hormonal fantasies forever and I was okay with that. 

The way he's been treating me has shown me that he cares about me. Although I was trying to convince myself that it was somewhat of a paternal instinct in him and that he was just being protective over me, I knew that it was something beyond that. 

I tried to somewhat address it in a weird sort of way with the whole asking why he didn't have anyone over conversation and he knew what I was trying to ask and addressed it but his answer made me even more confused. 

"I wouldn't want to ruin what we have going on here"  like what does that even mean? He doesn't want to ruin the dynamic we have in the house in terms of we're comfortable with each other and feel no need to let anyone inside our little safe space. 

Or did he mean that he didn't want to ruin what we have going on here because he wanted to see where things went with us on a more romantic level?

He hasn't explicitly told me that he would want to pursue a relationship with me but circling back to before he's given me clear signs that he's attracted to me and isn't one to hide it. 

He knows to a certain extent that I find him attractive too because I asked him to take my virginity. (I'm never gonna be able to live that one down) Anyone could tell that he was clearly struggling to hold himself back and the fact that he kissed me just shows that he wanted to. That he wanted me.

Then there's another possibility that he might want a sugar baby sort of relationship and I don't even want to think about something like that. 

Don't get me wrong! I respect the hustle, but that's just not for me. 

If I'm gonna be doing something like what we are doing right now then I want it to be something that I want to do without any ulterior motive. I don't want to put a monetary value on the time I spend with him but not gonna lie, living it large and not having to worry about money or working sounds very tempting.

I don't think he's that kind of man though...or at least I hope he's not. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asks playfully, having noticed that I haven't really been paying attention to the movie we've been watching. 

"Just thinking" I answer, cuddling in closer to him as I've refused to let go of him today and he hasn't made moves to do any different. 

"Bout what?" he prods further, placing a kiss on the top of my head and taking in the fresh scent of his shampoo in my hair.

"Things" I continue, liking the game we've started to play. 

"What sort of things?" he chuckles, telling me that he's enjoying it too. 

"All kinds of things" I say nuzzling closer into him and he wraps his arm tighter around me to keep me there.

"Wanna share a few?" he asks, clearly not letting this go since he wants to at least make sure I'm okay. 

"Thinking about how you might want to make me your sugar baby" I mumble into his chest and he laughs wholeheartedly making me even more embarrassed. 

"Is that something you'd want?" he asks and I shake my head. 

"You don't wanna be at home and sit pretty, waiting for me to come back and shower you with gifts and jewelry and give you the world?" he teases while pinching my sides making me pull away from him, trying to escape. 

"N-no! Now s-stop" I choke out through laughter and gasps of breath. "What would you want" he asks after having tackled me down onto the mattress making sure to do a thorough job of tickling me until I could barely breathe. 

I take a second to think, my eyes going back and forth between his while his stay still, focused and almost begging for an answer. 

"I thought we weren't going to have this conversation until I was well rested" I say, breathless, still not knowing up from down when it comes to us. If there even is an 'us'. 

"You feel well rested?" he asks, cocking a brow at me and I nod my head quickly, giving me a crooked smile in response. "Then it's perfect timing right?" he continues and I nod again leaving him getting off of me and leaning his back against the headboard, waiting to hear what I have to say. 

I take a minute or so to gather my thoughts and the whole time he's watching me curiously, almost able to see the wheels turning in my head. 

"What happened between us kind of caught me by surprise" I start, looking down at my lap and playing with my fingers nervously. "I don't regret it, it was just, well I'm just kind of confused about how you feel about me, and I'm really confused about how I feel about you" I admit and I can see his expression go a bit wary but I jump at the chance to explain myself. 

"It's just that I think both of us know at this point that we're extremely attracted to each other" I start out and the corner of his lips upturns for a second but nods in confirmation, waiting for me to continue. 

"With us getting physical and all so quickly I can't help but think that maybe we should take a step back. I would like to know your thoughts and intentions and feelings about all of this. I might be overthinking it but I really think it's best to be up front and honest with each other" I say and take in a shaky breath, scared I might've said the wrong thing.

"You're so sexy when you act so mature like that" he taunts and I groan, wanting to keep this serious. "I'm just playing Bunny. Well I'm not because you really are sexy but I don't want you to feel all nervous and insecure like you are right now. We're being open and honest right?" he questions and I nod my head, eager for him to continue. 

"Meaning it would be the perfect opportunity to tell you that I have feelings for you right?" he says and my eye bug out in response, not knowing what to do now. "Wasn't expecting that huh?" he chuckles and I shake my head making him laugh even more. 

"Cat got your tongue Darling?" he teases and scoff at that. "No I was just being polite and letting you keep talking since you let me do the same" I say, making excuses and trying to keep my voice level. 

"Sure Bunny" he smirks not believing a word I said but continuing nevertheless.

"I've had feelings for you for a while now and I haven't told you or acted on it because I wanted to respect the fact that you were in a relationship. I never liked Jared though for what it's worth" he says without hesitation and it makes me cringe at the thought that I was about to marry that snake. 

"Is it harsh to say I'm glad he's out of the picture?" he says boldly making me laugh. "Not just because it benefitted me but because he didn't deserve to marry a beautiful, intelligent, kind hearted woman like you. I would've said something but I'm not your father so I knew it wasn't my place" he finishes and making me smile, thankful that he was so considerate. 

Now that I think about it, even back then I respected and trusted his judgement so it wouldn't have bothered me even if he did say something.

"It's not harsh to say because I'm happy about it too. To be honest though I don't really know what I ever saw in him. I think because he was the first guy that more or less respected my boundaries that I thought I had to hold onto him. I don't know" I say and he nods his head.

This is something I haven't experienced before. Someone sitting and taking the time to actually talk things out without any outside distractions and focusing on each other and hearing each other out. 

Maybe it's just an age thing and the fact that Jungkook does fit the standard of dating older and more mature men is better. We're not dating though, but I guess we'll hopefully figure out where we stand once this conversation comes to a close.

"I'm really confused and I kind of don't know how to feel but I'm not closed off to figuring things out" I say, glancing up at him and back down at my lap, nervous from seeing how fascinated he is with me right now. 

I hold my breath and wait for him to say something but when nothing ever comes I chance looking up at him again and I'm surprised to see how he's still watching me.

"Like I said, I've had feelings for you for a while and if you're open to seeing where things go then I would really like to take you out on a date. Like on a proper date. I know since we've been living together and we've been spending a lot of time together but I-" he start off strong but begins to ramble and is regretfully cut off by the sound of the front door opening. 

"Dad! Dad where are you?" Jina calls out and neither of us dares to move or make a sound. "Dad" Jina drags out, regretfully confirming that I am in fact not dreaming. "Be down in a second" he says then presses a finger to his lips. 

"Just stay in here and I'll take care of it" he whispers and I nod my head, watching him as he panics internally before leaving the room and closing the door softly behind him. 

What the hell are we gonna do? My car is out there! Or wait, did I put it in the garage yesterday? I can't remember but I really hope it's not out there otherwise she'll already know I'm here. 

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook says. I can hear his muffled voice through the walls and I know I probably shouldn't listen but curiosity gets the best of me making me rush to the door and quietly crack it open, needing to hear how this conversation goes. 

"Nice to see you too dad" she says, and I hate the fact that I'm only able to hear them but I'll settle for this. 

"You should've contacted me before you came over Jina. You know I don't like people showing up unannounced" he says sternly.

"You're usually totally fine with me coming over" she says sounding thoroughly confused and I can hear Jungkook clear his throat before she starts again. 

"Am I interrupting something?" she asks after no doubt clocking the dishes that were left over from lunch. Two plates, two cups and two sets of silverware. A dead giveaway that someone is here especially since it hasn't been cleaned up yet. 

"You are actually" he says and I trip, surprised that he would straight up admit it but he has no reason to hide, and neither do I.

Having pushed the door open thanks to my clumsiness (somehow able to stay upright and keep my dignity this time) I'm faced with the dilemma of if I should just go back inside and pretend that never happened when it clearly did or come out and face her. 

I'm given the luxury of having that choice since she hasn't seen me yet but I decide it's better to do this as soon as possible. We've hid the fact that I've been living here for two months so what's adding on the fact that I've been messing around with her father while doing so. 

(Although this is a newly added feature but she doesn't need to know that)

I take a deep breath before stepping out from behind the door, watching Jina's face go from surprised to confused to disgusted to angry before turning back towards her father. 

"You're fucking my best friend?" she accuses, not completely wrong but semantics. 

"Best friend's don't fuck around and get pregnant by their friend's fiancees" I remind her, walking down the stairs in conveniently only Jungkook's shirt making what's going on, or what's starting to go on between us even more clear. 

"Oh grow up! It's not like there's anything we can do to change that now can we? Plus looks like you're doing just fine without him" she throws at me and from that moment I'm not pulling any punches. She wants to play dirty? Fine, let's play dirty.

"Jina stop it" Jungkook growls, going on the defensive, not being able to gauge what kind of mindset she's in or even her reasoning for coming here but wanting her out all the same.  

"Grow up?" I chuckle dryly, "I guess you're right, I guess maybe I have started growing up since it seems I've matured enough to be with someone like your father. Which, last time I checked, wasn't someone you have any business in questioning on things like his sex life and who he does and does not partake in it with" I say, placing a hand on his bicep possessively and I feel the tension he had once held in his body start to melt away. 

Interesting to know that I have this effect on him...

"Come on, we both know that you're probably just a piece of ass to him" she scoffs before turning to address him. "Didn't know you started picking up strays. I wondered where she had ran off to" she says, continuing to disrespect the both of us without a care in the world.

"Don't call her that!" Jungkook says, jaw clenched as a way to keep himself in check. 

All I see is red though and the next words I hurl out are ones that I couldn't stop myself from saying even if I tried. The ringing in my ears fanning the flames of my agitation making it impossible to hold back.

"How's life being pregnant with my fucking ex boyfriend's baby? He's probably taking real good care of you huh?" I taunt, cocking a brow at her and from the way the color rushes to her cheeks and the words die in her throat are enough to tell me everything I need to know. 

He hasn't done shit for her.

She balls her hands into fists by her side and lunges at me but Jungkook jumps in between us, grabs her by the shoulders and turns her around, forcing her out the front door. 

"You're gonna throw me out and choose that slut over your own daughter?" she yells struggling to get out of his grasp the whole way. 

"Last time I checked honey the only slut around these parts is you" I throw back, following right behind them and the way her jaw drops is just priceless. 

"That's enough! Jina go!" Jungkook says through gritted teeth letting go of her once she's passed the thresh hold, leaving her standing there, looking between the two of us before scoffing and storming off down the driveway. 

"I knew you were obsessed with her I just never thought you would bother acting on it" Jina spits out at her father and when she sees that he doesn't flinch she hurls more baseless lies and insults at the both of us. 

"You know she's just using you to get a place to stay and get over her ex right? What happened to staying a virgin until you got married y/n? Huh? Guess getting cheated on really fucked you up" she spits while unlocking her car. 

"And I guess fucking around with an ego-driven two-timing narcissist gets you pregnant" I throw back and she purses her lips before sinking down in her car, accepting defeat this time and leaving like her father told her to. 

"Say hi to Jared for me" I call out, waving at her as she grips the steering wheel until her knuckles have gone white, putting it in reverse and backing out of the driveway.

I walk over to the couch and let out a big sigh once I've sat down, throwing my head in my hands as a way to ground myself. 

Breathing through this dizzy feeling from that whole confrontation that I had not been prepared for is a lot tougher than I thought it would be, my whole body still buzzing.

I hear Jungkook close the door behind him after having watched her speed down the street, still worried for her safety but also wanting to make sure she was actually gone. What happened just now was enough of a confrontation to last me a lifetime, or at least it feels that way.  

"Hey" he whispers, kneeling in front of me and rubbing my back, "Are you okay?" he continues and I nod my head, feeling the tears prickling in my eyes, calling my bluff.

"Come here" he whispers, sitting on the couch next to me and pulling me onto his lap, rubbing my back again and holding me while I let out some of those tears I had held back.

"I don't even know why I crying" I say, sniffling and sitting back up to dry my eyes.

"No one likes getting into fights with someone they used to care about. Well, nobody sane likes getting into fights with someone they used to care about" he says, trying to lighten the mood and it does the trick making me scoff a bit, smiling at his efforts to make me feel better.

He cups my face and wipes a few tears that had fallen, looking at me with his brows pinched together as if his heart is breaking with mine.

"But you still care about her though, don't you?" he asks and I nod my head. "It's hard not to" I admit, getting off his lap and sitting next to him which makes him angle his body to face mine, taking hold of one of my hands, encouraging me to speak my mind. 

"She's been my best friend for the past six years. That's not something that can magically be turned off for me. I know what she did to me was devastating and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her for it. I'm still trying to heal from it all so I don't know, I couldn't help but defend myself, and you. I'm sorry you had to see that" I say, mumbling the last part and feeling so much regret for saying those ugly things about his daughter right in front of him. 

"Everyone has a right to defend themselves and when you're being attacked like that, you can't help but say hurtful things. She had no right and she knew that and wanted to hurt the both of us anyway" he says and I take a deep breath before turning my attention back to him because she said just as many hurtful things to him as she did to me.

"Are you okay?" I question, tightening my hold on his hand to hopefully encourage him to be vulnerable with me as well. 

He nods his head with a sad smile and waits a beat before saying anything and I hold my breath until he does. 

"No one wants their daughter to end up in the kind of situation she put herself in or see the people that they care about hurting but what she said didn't hurt me" he says and I nod my head, paying attention to his hand that I have placed in my lap, tracing the swirls of ink with my eyes as they travel further up his arm. 

"What did hurt me though was the way she was talking about you. You know that's not how I feel about you at all right?" he says, tilting my face up towards him making purposeful eye contact with me, needing to know that I believe him. 

"I know" I nod, giving him a sad smile accompanied by my still glossy eyes making him even more sad seeing how upset all of this has made me. 

"Can I do anything to make you feel better?" he asks, cupping my face and keeping my eyes on him when I try to turn them away. "No, I'll be okay" I shake my head and he studies my features before nodding and accepting my words at face value. 

"Okay, do you wanna go back up to my room? You can sleep in there with me if you'd like" he says, brushing a tear dampened strand of hair out of my face. 

I give him a mischievous smile, telling him I know what he's up to but he pulls away and puts his hands up in a way to defend his motives. 

"Just sleep, I promise. Scouts honor" he says, crossing his heart and I laugh at his playfully defensive nature. "Sure" I say, taking hold of his hand while he stands up and leads me back to his bedroom. 

~~~~

After having talked a little bit more about what had happened the topic of conversation circles back to what we had been in the middle of before she showed up. 

"So earlier it seemed like you wanted to ask me a question" I say, taking a sip from my soda that had come with the take out we had ordered hours ago, toying with the straw and keeping his attention. 

"Yeah? And do you know what your answer might be to said question?" he teases, wetting his lips and keeping his eyes trained on mine. 

"You have to ask the questions first Daddy" I say placing my drink down on his nightstand and when I turn to face him again he's tackling me down on the bed peppering kisses all over me. 

"Stoooppp" I giggle and he laughs along with me before leaning back to hover over me. "Will you go out with me?" he asks and I can tell that this whole moment has him feeling like a teenager again.

"I thought you'd never ask" I say, running my fingers through his hair making him lean into my touch. 

"You can't take it back though. Once we do this I won't ever let you go" he husks out, placing a kiss on my palm and I shutter at the feeling. "Then don't" I breathe out making a flame of desire flash through his eyes. 

"You're gonna get yourself in trouble you know that?" he warns, placing a kiss on my nose before getting off me and turning off the tv. "Hey! I was watching that!" I pout "No you weren't" he chuckles. "Plus it's time to go to bed. We've got a big day ahead of us" he says, getting under the covers and motioning for me to do the same. 

"Big day?" I question, not remembering we had something on the agenda this weekend. "I may or may not have planned out our date this morning while you were still in bed Sleeping Beauty" he says, pulling me onto his chest but I sit up pulling away from him with my brows scrunched together. 

"How were you so sure I would say yes?" I scoff, shocked by his bold assumption. "From the way I've been making you moan my name I figured you wouldn't mind going on one date with me in return" he says and my jaw drops, throwing the covers off myself and making a break for it but he yanks me back towards him making me flop down on the bed. 

"You can't just say things like that" I whine, hands over my eyes as a way to block him out of my vision and hide the very apparent blush that I'm sure is starting to bloom. 

"Am I wrong?" he taunts, placing kisses on my neck and collarbone, dangerously close to making me moan his name again. 

"You're no fair" I say, pushing him off and giving him my back making him chuckle at my shy behavior. He lays down and pulls me back into him. My back now against his chest and his hand placed on my hip where I'm again reminded that I'm only wearing his shirt and my underwear. 

"Keep your hands to yourself Mr." I tease while prying his hand off me. "Come on darling, you know I'm a man of my word. Just sleep, nothing else" he says, this time sliding his hand further up to hold onto my bare waist. 

"Fine" I grumble out and he laughs and nuzzles his nose into my neck, taking another deep breath, flooding his senses with my scent. 

"Goodnight Bunny" he mumbles against my skin. "Goodnight Daddy I tease and am rewarded with a slap on my ass. 

"Did, did you just spank me?" I say trying to wiggle out of his hold but he's already got his arm wrapped around my waist again. "I told you that pretty little mouth of yours was gonna get you into trouble didn't I?" he says, switching to rubbing his hand along the tender flesh he just struck, caressing it in a way to ease the pain. 

I pout and settle back into the bed, not dignifying his words with a response. It's only when I accidentally move my hips backwards do I freeze from gaining a soft moan from him, no doubt caught off guard from the contact of my ass up against him. 

"Sorry I didn't mean to I-" "I know Bunny, just go to sleep" he says placing a kiss on my neck and holding my hips in place, putting a little more space between us. 

As I slow my breathing to a steady one I start to lull myself to sleep but I flinch at the sound of his cute snores in my ear. 'Something I'll have to tease him about in the morning' I giggle to myself and take his hand off my hip, choosing instead to hold it against my chest having him surrounding me. Soon I'm slipping into that dreamland he had drifted off to moments before, safe and warm being in his arms.  

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[angelicbeaut]

Manifesting An Ex Back (Success Story + Advice! Long Post!)

Recently, I have been trying to apply the law and really distance myself from social media and loa accounts. For me personally, it is a lot of information at once and can be quite overwhelming, although I still enjoy reposting content I find to be helpful to my fellow manifestors. It has done wonders for me to allow myself to watch the law work, and today, I would like to share with you some things that helped me achieve one of my latest achievements, manifesting my ex back after 1 year of no contact. I hope this can help others to continue to be motivated. If you are interested, please read onward!

So, let's start by laying out the guidelines of how I view manifesting:

1. time does not matter. It has no control over if you can manifest anything, and in my head, it does not exist. I simply am unaffected by it, I know that I will have what I want regardless.

2. You are manifesting self. You are not going to get something, this is not a grocery shopping trip to purchase something. You got all the ingredients that you need at home, right in your beautiful mind. Do you have self? Then you have everything you need. Now, take it a step further, are you the "self" that has your ex partner back in your life, or the "self" that doesn't?

3. Everything is you pushed out / There is NO separation. Everything you believe is pushed out into your reality. Do you believe your ex hates you? Then they hate you. Booyah! Do you believe your ex loves you? Then they love you. There is no separation between you and them, there is no separation between you and any of your desires. All you must do is match your thoughts to that desire, and you will have what you want.

4. Persistence is Key. I remember when I first started my journey here, and I hated hearing this. It was like nails on a chalkboard. How long do I have to persist? Why? For what? This is why I will continue to stress that time does not exist, if you hyperfocus on the time passing on this planet, you will never get it. Because your focus is on time, not on your desire. Know that it is done, and it will be.

5. How it happens is none of your business. Read that again. You should not be focused on how am I gonna get to, what am I gonna do, how's it gonna happen. Who cares, quite frankly. Do you want your desire or not? Then want the desire, stop wanting for the in-between, it will happen in means you cannot even imagine. I promise you. It will be so out of the blue you won't even see it coming (more on that later).

6. Dominant thoughts manifest / robotic affirming. I used to believe this was bull, I'll be real. I won't sit here and act like I've always been a robotic affirming girly. However, it's sort of like vaunting but it's just one phrase. Changing your mindset can change your life. It starts by changing your dominant thoughts about your desire, or even about manifesting itself. The easiest way for me has been any time I get a negative thought, I turn on a 20 minute timer and I think or say my desire. It's like disciple. Whenever your teacher saw you disrupting class and they had you continuously write the same thing on the board, that was affirming. We were just too young to realize. Of course it sucks, but it taught us that we didn't want to end up in that position again. I robotically affirm because I don't wanna end up in a reality where I don't have what I want, it teaches me to keep my thoughts on my desire. It also dulls out the negative thoughts from rising, such as the continuous writing on the board dulls the child's want to continue the bad behavior.

My ex and I had officially stopped talking in Auguest of 2023. It was abrupt and feuled by arguments. We were both fed up with our own lives and we could no longer take care of each other. We ended on bad terms and I was in full belief he would never speak to me again and I wouldn't speak to him. I believed he hated me for a good while. But, in manifesting we have have to understand that nothing, and I mean NOTHING is set in stone. All we have is present and even that is ever changing. A simple change in perspective can open millions of possibilities.

Now, On to the Success Story Darling.

The first thing I did was process my anger. I hated him. The version of him that I was manifesting sucked, and I gave myself full right to feel that. You have the right to be angry and frustrated, emotions flow, so let them. Do not hold them, or you hold your state of being and solidify your reality for yourself. You are in complete control of everything, so process what you got going on before you do ANYTHING.

Second, I need you to have a funeral. I need you to kill the version of them that you created. Metaphorically, anyway. Let them pass away, forgive them, let them die from your reality. As a very emotional person who often feels like my emotions are very big and overwhelm me, I now use them to my benefit. I was crying like he had really gone away. Then I decided that a new him, the version of him that had learned from his mistakes, that had taken time to work on himself, the one that loves me, rose in his place.

I decided that I was open to meeting this new him, that I would meet him. That my experience would be completely different, that I would be refreshed. Every time I thought of him or had doubts, I would robotically affirm or sometimes even just tell myself, it is done. My main focus outside of this was changing myself, I changed what my definition of love was, I changed the way I loved myself, I changed the way I thought about myself, I continued to live my life. There is nothing to do, just be.

Before I knew it, Christmas was passing, and so was his birthday, it was the new year and then it was college graduation, and then it was summer. So much time had passed and I wasn't even thinking about it anymore. Of course the sneaking doubts would come but I would know it was done. If I didn't, I would say it was until I felt satisfied in my knowing.

Now, Let's get into how this started showing up in my reality and the final success. :)

1. Hearing his favorite songs/or songs we used to listen to

2. Discovering old music I listened to when I was with him. Like it would randomly show up in my playlist.

3. Dreams. Oh my god he was in my dreams, I was waking up like what is going on.

Remember that these are not your desire, they are manifestations of your ever-solidifying belief (imo) Do not accept it as the end until you get what you want.

The Success

Yesterday afternoon, I was scrolling on my phone, I wasn't thinking of anything really I was just enjoying making lists on Amazon (it's my thing, it's an addiction), and I saw a notification on cash app. I was thinking, oh did my mom send me money? Period! TELL ME WHY I OPEN MY PHONE TO SEE IT IS MY EX SAYING HE NEEDS TO REACH ME. I sat in a feeling of a full circle moment, and at that moment it all clicked. I had persisted. At this point I believed he was coming back and he did. Neither of us have much social media, I had changed my number, I had blocked him on most apps and so did he. I DID NOT EXPECT IT, I DID NOT KNOW THE MEANS AND YET IT HAPPENED. I send him my number and before I know it we are on the phone, he is repeating everything I said to myself, everything I wanted to hear. Even if I could not see the movement, it was always there.

He told me he had never stopped thinking about me, that he had cleaned himself up mentally and had started practicing meditation (again, didn't see that coming, he was not the type) and that he was sorry for everything. He said I was on his mind 24/7, the entire time I was affirming (no separation) he was feeling and thinking the same thing. He had tried finding any possible way to reach me, he was dreaming about me none stop. He prioritized his mental health, he focused on getting better, he became a better person, even though he admits that he is working tirelessly to become his best self for himself.

He said he wanted to see me, and now we are going on a vacation in the next comign months and he is taking me on a vacation to Disneyland on my birthday. Flights, hotels, excursions? Booked. He took out his laptop and immediately booked everything, literally. And we stayed on the phone all night until we got tired, and I just had to write this.

Please persist. Please keep trying. Please don't give up, you are so powerful, even when it seems like nothing is happening, something always is. Check your negative beliefs at the door, and get what you want. And if someone tells you that you can't manifest your ex or you shouldn't, I want you to remember who the god of your reality is. That's you right? Period! So go manifest!

Luv yall sm ♡

Che☆

[caesthoffe]

An Update on Brianna Ghey

tw // extreme transphobia, hate crime, violent death, death of a child

If you're unfamiliar with Brianna Ghey, you can read up on the story here or watch this overview. There's been multiple updates, and I wanted to let people know about the most important ones.

On February 4th 2024, the two originally unnamed teenagers— the 16-year-old boy now identified as Eddie Ratcliffe, and 16-year-old girl now identified as Scarlett Jenkinson —have been sentenced to life in prison for the fatal stabbing of Brianna (x).

On the day of her murder, February 11th 2023, Brianna took the No 28 bus at around 2pm to meet up with Jenkinson (who brought Ratcliffe along without Brianna's knowledge). The two led her to a path on Culcheth Linear Park, where she was stabbed to death with a hunting knife (x) that Ratcliffe provided. Although both parties would later blame the other in court, it's important to note that Ratcliffe was the only one with blood found on his clothes. Brianna was stabbed a total of 28 times in her head, neck, chest, and back (x). Not long after, Jenkinson posted this to her snapchat account.

Her murder was premeditated weeks in advance (x), with the pair plotting their attack against Brianna (x), who was anxious and rarely went out alone. They'd previously attempted to kill her before, although those plans ended up failing (x).

Prior to her murder, she'd sent a message to her mother saying "I'm on the bus by myself. I'm scared." To which her mother had replied that she was proud of her attempt at going out alone. Unfortunately, Brianna never got to read that text.

Thousands of text messages have leaked from the two killers, where Ratcliffe misgenders and demeans Brianna, and Jenkinson details her obsession with Brianna.

➡ When Jenkinson sent Ratcliffe some selfies of Brianna, he replied, "Is it a femboy or a tranny?"

➡ After Jenkinson expressed that she thought Brianna was prettier than her, Ratcliffe had said, "Prettier but it's a boy."

➡ Jenkinson had texted him on Whatsapp, "I'm obsessed over someone I know but don't have feelings for them... She's called Brianna... I don't know how to explain. She looks like a girl, she sounds like a girl, she's really pretty." To which Ratcliffe replied, "Tell me what you feel when you interact with it. I don't think you're necessarily in love but I think you're more curious and intrigued by its unnatural nature." (x)

➡ After their initial attempt to kill a different student failed, Jenkinson suggested that they stab Brianna instead. Ratcliffe agreed, saying "Yeah, it'll be easier and I want to see if it will scream like a man or girl."

➡ Jenkinson discussed wanting to take Brianna's "pretty" eyes as trophies, and Ratcliffe said "Really all I want to see is what size dick it had."

➡ During the trial, when asked by the prosecutor why he used the terms "it" instead of "she" for Brianna, he said that it was a "joke" and that he had picked it up from other people.

Despite all of this, Cheshire police are still adamant that Brianna's murder was not motivated by transphobia (x), because "...If it hadn't been Brianna, it would have been one of the other four children on that list." This is further corroborated by Detective Inspector Nigel Parr of Cheshire Constabulary, who led the investigation. Outside the court, he claimed that "this was a senseless murder committed by two teenagers who had an obsession with murder, whose only motivation in killing Brianna was to experience what this would be like." (x)

The headteacher of Birchwood Community High School has claimed that she spoke to Brianna's mom who "confirmed that Brianna was not bullied at Birchwood and always felt well supported by the school," and that Brianna's mother had given her permission to share that (x). This is despite multiple of Brianna's friends, and Brianna herself (x), saying the opposite (x).

The two killers are eligible for parole in 20 and 22 years. I can only hope they atone for the harm they've caused Brianna's family, the trans community, and everyone else affected.

I hope one day we can live in a world where being trans isn't a death sentence. Where major news outlets can report on trans victims with respect (x). Where anti-trans hatred spewed by TERFs and radfems, right wing politicians and conservative talk show hosts no longer hold such an influence in the world.

We will be able to live as ourselves one day. Without fear. I just wish Brianna could be here to see it.

[sapphoshands]

"We broke every rule we established for the trials and the characters broke every rule given to them but its funny that viewers have different interpretations" not cute actually, Jac. Just bad writing that verges on outright racism by killing off the one Asian character and making the Black character over the top malevolent. Oh and putting the sole (white) man in narrative center. Should've known it was too good to be true.

it is of course extremely déclassé to go into the inbox of someone who is loving a thing and tell them why they should not be loving the thing, but you know, i'm so deep in this show, i'm just like *rubs hands* more time to think about my blorbos! so!

i will do you the courtesy of ignoring your bad faith phrasing to engage with your actual points - and of course, we also have to keep in mind that we're just over halfway through the season, so things may come back in ways we can't yet see. that said, i adore the idea that agatha's punishment in this was to be seen by yet another coven as an object of horror and fear, especially after a few moments where she was seen as a real person. i think that's going to play very strongly into the end of the season and i think it's a very smart bit of writing that plays with the expectations of the characters on screen and the audience watching the show. i got a little seduced by some of the alternate trial theories, ngl, but that is one of the joys of episodic television and i am having a blast watching more of this story unravel.

re racism, i as a white woman am certainly not going to tell anyone how they should receive a story like this. but i feel about alice's death much like i feel about the push for no more dead lesbians, which is that if we erase any sort of peril for any given segment of the population, we are no longer telling full stories about them. speaking for myself, i am a advocate for increased representation of all sorts on screen (and behind the camera), and simple math tells us that having more people of colour on screen means more people of colour will die on screen. so i always ask myself whether the death feels racially motivated, and in this case, to me, it doesn't. we've already lost a white woman to the road and it is important for the show to keep the stakes high. to me, alice's story was gorgeously tragic and a really wonderful parallel to agatha's - you really felt alice, having discovered the depth of her connection to her mother, feeling that lack for agatha. but naturally... you may have a different interpretation.

jen, on the other hand - oh my god, jen, i fucking loved her in this episode. and again you can read her as OTT, although in contrast to agatha i think she's really rather restrained! obviously tropes play differently for Black characters than white, but in the context of the show, in the context of the way the rest of the coven has been portrayed, she fit perfectly. i mean, in jen's trial, agatha tried to sacrifice mrs hart, tried to cheat, tried to literally break out, etc, because she was so determined that her quest was the only thing that mattered to her. i frankly don't blame jen for pulling an agatha and deciding to put herself first, and i don't think the show wants us to blame jen either. totally tracked to me. the retainer moment? exceptional. and alice and lilia were right there with her - it's not like she was the only one pushing this agenda, you know? certainly she wasn't singled out by skin colour.

billy, now... i am not gonna lie. i am a little worried that we're gonna turn this into the billy show. and i do mostly trust jac schaeffer and mary livanos and the whole setup of the fucking show that they won't, that this is about women and witchcraft and queerness and all of my favourite things. but it's a marvel property, right? and we always have to have this fucking fear. but this interview, again, actually made me feel a lot better about that:

obviously this sounds like it was really early in the room and things change throughout the course of development, but it is really reassuring to me that in the early stages of breaking agatha's story, billy... wasn't billy. he was, you know, a sexy lamp. someone else could've done his job. so his innate billyness didn't matter. to me, that suggests that the established arc remains agatha's and billy's just there to prop it up. i'm sure that since he became billy in the writing process, he became more important and elements of his story became part of the narrative and so on, but i expect it was a series of discussions on how to fit him into the story rather than how to rewrite the story to suit him.

i'm just as biased in my defence as you are in your annoyance, so you're welcome to dismiss all of this and grump on with your grumpy self. but i think this is a smart, interesting, nuanced show that hasn't spilled all its secrets yet. and i cannot wait for more. is it wednesday yet?

[milky-rozen]

Hello 🤗, I’ve kind been following your project for months now and I have to say I’m glad people are still acknowledging Egyptian Mythology. I know it doesn’t really have all the drama and pizzaz I suppose Greek or Roman mythos does which is why people like it more, however I find your work refreshing because it seems like you actually care about Egyptian Mythos. I’ve been obsessed with it for years and I’ve even done my own research over the years myself and could never fully understood why people didn’t care for it as much. Even after watching Hollywood Blockbuster films like “Gods of Egypt” the movie frustrated me in so many ways but the biggest one being that it felt like a knockoff of Clash of the Titans. So I’m done with my little rant but I was curious on what sparked your interest in making this project? How often are you taking creative liberties with your story? Also how do you come up with such creative designs for your characters will also keeping the historical consistency of Ancient Egypt?

P.S. Hope this all made sense 😀

Heya!

So, first of all, thank you so much for your kind words, they really made my day!

Second of all, let me reply to all of your questions in order so I don't forget anything lol

Ok so, as for what sparked my interest in making this project, It all started with me playing a mythology-themed video game called Dislyte. I've always been into Egyptian Mythology since I can remember, but when I was a kid, things were a bit different from now and I didn't have access to the Internet as I have now as my father would set up a limited screen time for me and my sister on the computer, and also at that time, I just didn't know how to research things properly lol. So, nostalgia led me to explore new and old media about Egyptian mythology and do some proper academic research to get to know the main and minor myths better. During this "research phase" I discovered the Korean manhwa Ennead, which inspired me and my character designs a lot. Afterwards, as I realized how little material exists about this mythology in particular, I decided to create something myself that could help fill that gap, something that could bring people together and spark their interest so that I could have someone to talk to about Egyptian Mythology lmaooo. But also, I always wanted to work on an original comic series and so I thought that this could have been the best time to start! And so, House of the Sun was born!

Now, talking about artistic liberty, it really depends on the comic we're talking about. In Thoth's Library, I try to be as accurate as possible to the actual myths, only taking some artistic liberty when I need to link some facts that would otherwise sound a bit random and incohesive to the narration, adding some motivations and sub-plots to link all the stories together while trying to stay true to the original sources. Although, this might change in some future arcs. In Young Horus, although some connections are accurate, I decided to fill all the gaps I could with an original coming-of-age story for Horus the Younger to create something new and have fun with it, so the majority of the things happening in the comic are purely fictional. Of course, I always make sure to put a disclaimer for that in every episode just in case ahahah

As for the inspiration behind the character designs, I wanted to create something very personal and somewhat accurate in terms of clothing and overall presentation without including those classic elements we all know, like the animal heads or masks we often see in other media. I was especially inspired by something I noticed in Ancient Egyptian art, like the fact that some gods like Ra have both a human and animal form, and so I was like, you know what? I'm leaving the animal iconography to other contexts, I'm going full human this time lmao. Well, kind of, since I still wanted to include some animal traits that are very iconic to Egyptian art, like the tails (often used in classic Egyptian iconography to depict power and royalty), the ears and sometimes the paws too because, why not? 😂

Man, this was a very long reply lol I tried to be as brief as possible but I'm not good at it honestly ahah soooo, thanks for sticking with me so far! 😂 and, oh! Before I forget , Happy New Year!

[copperbadge]

Supposedly, people with Anphantasia don't get scared reading scary stories, or at least not much. Is that true with you if you ever read Horror?

You know, I'd never thought about it, but I suppose it is. To an extent, anyway.

Follows a discussion of my relationship to horror prose and media; if you don't know what aphantasia is, as many people coming to this tumblr don't, I have a tag for it here that may help -- it's basically the lack of a "mind's eye", a visual imagination, so I hear/read things and don't see an image of them in my mind. If you are scoffing right now that nobody actually has a mind's eye, congratulations, you may also have aphantasia. The articles linked in the tag will be useful to you.

I have definitely been scared by prose before but it's very rare, and not much since I was a child, when the stories I found scary were preying on fears I already had. I loved the Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark books, and I think it's not unusual that I found the illustrations more frightening than the prose, but the only story that ever scared me was the one about the vampire who kept trying to grab a kid through a window -- because I had a window over my bed in my childhood bedroom and I was terrified I'd look up to see someone looking down at me through it. Likewise, as an adult, the only content in horror I find scary is what I think of as "mind horror" -- the loss of faculty or the loss of awareness of faculty (think the end scene of the novel Hannibal with the brain). Which is one of my biggest fears.

I don't read much horror because generally I get bored, which has in the past made me feel faintly appalled at myself, but which now makes more sense. Certainly I have no interest in slasher-style gore in prose, because I find it uninteresting and it goes on a really long time, while I don't watch it in movies/TV because the visual is upsetting -- so if I was getting the visual from the prose I might react more emotionally. I am a fan of Stephen King but mostly his early work where he was shorter on suspense, and I was reading it because I liked the ideas and the characters. Carrie is super interesting because of the personalities involved, not because of the violence or the horror aspects. But I've never seen a movie adaptation and I can imagine I would be deeply unsettled if not distraught by certain scenes if depicted visually. Although I didn't find the Hannibal TV series super upsetting (I mostly was put off by how bad I imagined Will smelled) so perhaps body horror just doesn't do it for me.

This may also explain my hard-no on zombie media, because I'm not scared at all of zombies, I just find them boring and gross, and that leaves the post-apocalyptic humans. My hard-no on post-apocalypse anything is an aversion to imagining the end of my world, though, which isn't visual, it's conceptual, and not scary, just upsetting.

Like, people kept suggesting Zombies Run! to me when I was taking up running and -- well, one, I needed the music to keep my pace, I didn't want it interrupted. But two, I didn't see why a bunch of random groaning noises would make me run faster. If you could see zombies chasing you in your head, yeah, that'd probably be more motivating.

It kind of explains too why I haven't written much horror. I used to be very curious about how people worked out what's "scary" in horror prose and I guess part of the curiosity came from not experiencing it myself. It's tough to know how to write a scary story when stories don't scare you.

To be clear, I definitely experience fear. Reading Stephen King's "It" didn't really scare me, but there were scary moments in the film adaptations. I startle at jumpscares. There's plenty of stuff in real life that I'm scared of. And even podcasts -- I don't get mental images during podcasts like apparently most people do, but Magnus Archives got me with the "digging into your pre-existing fears" thing once or twice, and while I didn't finish The Left Right Game (I just got bored) the hitchhiker scene definitely got me. But I think, unless it's playing on something conceptual that already existed, yeah, I don't find prose particularly frightening.

Huh. This feels like the kind of thing that could have a significant impact on my creative output if I could crowbar my way into it. Knowing that I as an aphantic don't need descriptions that other people do has already, I think, impacted my editing process, but this feels like it maybe would somehow have an effect on the whole thing -- the fact that I don't experience emotions when reading in the same way other people do because I don't get the visuals is something to meditate on.

How the fuck did I ever even become a writer. Like what's up with that.

(Ironically it was X-Files fanfic. X-Files, a show that very much did scare me, for which I wrote and read a lot of fanfic, none of which did...yikes. Well, that's something to meditate on for the weekend.)

[myobsessionsspace]

Jungkook’s BE-hind Story

Though filmed in 2021, I find it still relevant.

It’s a really good watch for those that may not have seen this, or may have but have forgotten about it.

His thoughts on songs with no relation to him personally.

His music process, how he can do songs within a day or work on a song over and over, delete and never release.

Watch full video here

🐰“From now on, although songs with sincerity is also important, but…there are so many different types of people, who think differently and come from different backgrounds.

I want to become an artist who can create various different stories by creating imaginary scenarios and situations and coming up with imaginary characters.

That’s my ultimate motive.”

🐿️ “It’s very unique. I usually find it much easier to write about my own experiences, but what you’re trying to do is putting yourself in an imaginary scenario, which is actually very difficult.”

🐰 “Right, it’s difficult. So, although it’s very difficult, like how I want to try new things but unable to express it right now. If I keep doing it I’ll get accustomed to it, so I should keep challenging myself.”

🐿️ “I think it’s wonderful and I believe all challenges are good. I hope you could try out as much as possible”

Weverse Live

July 2023

What really stuck out to me:

🐰“but there's still this idea called image. And many people love that. Let's say that people love it, and so I keep following only that path. In that case, what is it that I can change? With my own hands? When this is my own life. I've gotta be the one to make change, you know. I have to tell the people who love me "this is how I am," and I have to-- not coerce them, but I have to make it so that they can accept/recognize me.”

When will he be allowed to control his image? When will he be allowed to not fit the idea that has been created by fans from content that doesn’t reflect his stage in life anymore? When can he expand on that image, add dimension, flaws, normal human traits to it?

🐰“I mean, like, there are so many things. How should I say it, so... Even if I were to figure out [the audience's] needs and satisfy those... Would ARMYS and I be truly happy? Till the end. When there's nothing that changes.”

You can’t please everyone all of the time. To please the majority he has to sacrifice himself? His change from the image people hold of him can never be? Who is that fair to? Is it fair to him? Is it fair to the fans who want to love him for him?

🐰“Ok, if I'm being honest: that's right, before, I used to have a lot of fears, including fear of trying something new. And I used to not really feel up to doing things that are new. But this is something that you guys created for me as well. It is from you all. Because I gained so much courage from you guys. Truly. (drinks water)

& I said this in a recent live, too. Asking why you guys give your support and love to me. Because even back then, I didn't know the answer, which is why I kept asking again and again. But now, I don't want to show that vulnerable side of me to you guys. I gained confidence, and using this as a foundation, I want to keep building myself.”

Army time and time again showed him they loved all of him and trusts what he wants to do, so they gave him the confidence to try new things.

Trusting that he wants to do it and he’s spoken before about the want for these types of songs, these challenges.

They aren’t army’s challenges but his challenges.

I don’t know about you, but being a singer from a 7 piece group who for years has worked with the same people in their mother tongue, to now work with an array of people from a different country, to sing a full album in a different language and do each song with different musical genres, phew! I’m tired just *thinking about it*!

Watch the whole weverse live

GOLDEN BY JUNG KOOK

Out November 3rd 2023!

Pre-Save & Pre-Order

💜

[autumnoakes]

oh boy. i have not done this at all this year partly because a) i thought it was an art/creative challenge and i didn't have the mental capacity for it and b) i forgor 💀 so! i'm gonna do all of the days right now because. of reasons (the reason being that i have the energy right now right now) (by @autiebiographical )

autism plus - i think this is about comorbidities? i have an ADHD diagnosis and i'm working on an hEDS diagnosis as well. i'm also pretty sure i have OCD and anxiety in general tbh

infinite - i'm not too sure how to answer this one? sorry

audhd - THATS ME!!!!! it makes for some interesting times because i have and will eaten a food for weeks on end until getting physically sick of it or listened to the same song until i can't stand it or played the same video game until its boring (hello 800 hours in breath of the wild). usually if i take a break from it, then it gets better and i can enjoy it again.

music - music is actually one of my biggest stims! a lot of my life revolves around music. both sides of my family were/are musicians and i grew up surrounded by it. i'm always listening to music out in public. i really want to get back into it (i used to play violin before the pandemic but started working right as it started and ran out of time and motivation between work and school)

verbose - irl i'm not very articulate. i think sometimes i'm able to be over text where i can delete things and take time to think about what i'm going to say without it being awkward. in real life though, i'm always fumbling over my words and taking way too long trying to figure out how to form the words i want to say next. it's annoying :/

individuals - not too sure how to approach this one either? so loose interpretation. i know many other autistic people both online and irl, and we're all really different. sometimes i get along with them, sometimes i don't. same with allistic or neurotypical people.

neuroscope - i think when i saw this it was about being able to tell when others are also neurodiverse? i'm pretty good at this but i'm also really good at hiding my own neurodiversity (but getting worse at it actually). i know a lot of people who i watch and go "hm" (because people watching is something i enjoy /genuine) but i wouldn't tell someone out of the blue that i think they're autistic

non-speaking - i am fully verbal, and i live with two other autistic people. one is nonverbal and he is an important person in my life. my experience with life is very different though, so i don't have very much to say about this.

community - i've found that most of the autistic community, like a lot of disabled communities, are online which is great! however i do also think it has its drawbacks because the internet can be an echo chamber and i think there's a reason why a lot of people on tumblr especially are neurodiverse.

self-advocacy - oh boy, i'm still learning this. it's difficult to know when to stand up for yourself and how, let alone really draining. at least, for me it is. mostly because having to do so sparks deep anxiety and i find i just can't do it. i don't tell many people that i'm autistic at all

unlearning ableism - another one that's a long time work in progress. it's so difficult to unlearn ideas that you've been around your entire life and grew up learning, but it's necessary to create a welcoming community. i know a lot of people struggle with internalized ableism, myself included. although i have been able (been forced to, actually) take a step back from my responsibilities and focus on creating schedules that work for me instead of trying to do as much as possible all at once.

differently wired - yeah, my brain very much does work differently. i've had a lot of people (including other autistic people) think i'm weird and tell me so because i want to do something a certain way and i don't want to change it. i'm developing a theory that autism isn't JUST neurodevelopmental, but a lot more than that, considering the number of comorbidities that occur alongside autism.

vivid imaginations - i don't have maladaptive daydreams, but i daydream a lot. ironically, i also have aphantasia, so it kinda plays out as a book/audio recording with some vague shapes acting as the people. i love listening to music on the bus for this exact reason. i often daydream scenarios relating to a special interest or hyperfixation.

hyperfixations - SPEAKING OF. people who follow me will know i've been going feral about hades 2 for months and months (i love the narrative choices they've made with the main character, melinoë, and she's one of my favourite characters in general). i've also been hyperfixating on resident evil (games only) for almost 2 months now. i finished re4 remake last week and started playing re2 a couple days ago. re4 remake specifically is one of my favourite games because i love how they wrote the characters and i love the attention to detail in that game (i'm actually still playing it akdjskdn i got the DLC and i love playing as ada)

pebbling - i have an idea of what this means but i don't know if i do it?

autistic pride - i don't have a lot of it. i want to, but sometimes it's really difficult for me to find pride in being autistic. a lot of it is related to internalized ableism.

repetition - oh i am always repeating. i was told during my autism assessment that i always wear the same clothes which i never really thought i did before remembering that i wore basically the exact same outfit more days than not for like 2 years when i was a kid. same goes for food - i like eating familiar foods and meals and i don't like changing it up or trying new foods. i also do this thing where i repeat what i just said under my breath (pallilalia!) and people notice this but i've only gotten a handful of comments on it

self-regulating - i'm bad at regulating emotions actually or even identifying them sometimes. i've had it where i've gone from being really angry and just wanting people to face consequences for their actions -> having a meltdown. i can't often tell when a meltdown is coming and it's really embarrassing for me to have one.

comfort items - i have a lot of them. i always go out with two fidget toys in particular and my noise cancelling headphones. i have two necklaces i wear everywhere. i have a pile of stuffies on my bed.

executive dysfunction - mine takes the form of mostly being unable to finish tasks, being unable to switch between tasks, or being unable to stay on one task. i don't usually experience trouble starting a new task, but sometimes i do. it's the finishing tasks that's a big one for me because eventually i hit a point when i'm like "okay, i'll finish this later" and then i never go back to it. so i've been trying my best to do things in one sitting, but sometimes it's not possible. i once submitted a half-written essay for a class because i hit that point and i would have failed otherwise.

queer - my identity is hugely shaped by being autistic as i've come to realize. i'm aroace and bisexual, in that i don't experience sexual/romantic attraction, but i'm open to dating others (and maybe having sex with the right person), and i don't exactly have a preference for who i'd do it with. i also think people are pretty. i'm also aplspec, which is to say i'm on the aplatonic spectrum and don't really feel the desire to make new friends. i still have favourite people though. my gender is weird but recently it switched over to trans guy but like nonbinary about it (demiboy?)

disabled - since i'm in uni right now, i can't work. fortunately i live at home and have minimal to no costs despite being 23. it's hard for me to frame this as a necessity for me personally and not a luxury. if i worked, i would have to give up getting my degree. i also have chronic pain and fatigue, which makes it difficult to walk long distances. i do take the bus and don't drive, which helps me stay somewhat active. even if i did drive, without a job no one will give me a car loan, so i'd be in the same spot anyways.

synesthesia - i don't experience this

genetic - i have a lot of family members who are also autistic/ADHD. my assessor did a bit of a family tree about it. the two autistic people i live with are my cousins. i also have another cousin and an aunt who are autistic, and i heavily suspect my maternal grandmother is autistic or ADHD. my dad has ADHD too.

pets - i have none and i'm sad about it. i'd like to have a cat, but that makes rent go up i think, and i'm not sure if we're allowed pets here. my last house was a strict no pets zone. i grew up with cats though, and they make me happy. big dogs scare me quite a bit, even if they're chill and even though they seem to like me (i'll still give them affection. they didn't do anything wrong)

fidgeting - mmmm i do this all the time. my assessor for ADHD put me down as inattentive type because he didn't see me fidgeting much, but my leg was going under the table for the entire assessment and he couldn't see. i also have been unmasking and found out that i am more combined type/hyperactive than previously thought. i don't stay still in chairs very much. i always have a fidget toy on me, too.

stimming - see above. i'm always stimming pretty much. right now.... well i kinda am actually. i'm under my weighted blanket.

safe foods - i like to eat sandwiches and wraps a lot. sometimes i like meat, rice, and some kind of sauce. i have a lot of safe foods but also a lot of unsafe foods and it can sometimes be hard knowing what is and isn't safe. i've had many times when i thought i liked something and then didn't touch it or took hours to eat it (without doing something else and forgetting its there)

empathy - this is weird for me. i don't know where my empathy is. i think it's on the lower side, but sometimes i get just really upset over my friends being upset. i want to help a lot but mostly it's so the issue will go away. it took a lot of effort to stop constantly checking vent channels in search of someone i can help.

accommodations - i use accommodations in my education. i only got them about two years ago when i was diagnosed with ADHD. i could have some for a job too when i get one, but i only got those in august with my autism diagnosis, so i didn't have them for when i was working a couple of years ago.

sensory euphoria - i get this most when listening to music. a couple of weeks ago i put on the totk soundtrack to do work to and was listening to the colgera fight music and was just in BLISS for a solid 10 minutes. i was stimming so much and humming and it was an indescribable feeling listening to that music, especially when the dragon roost island motif comes in.

[thatanthagirl]

Don't You DARE Give Up!

Asta: "I knew I'd find you eventually. You and I need to talk. Okay, Pal? Name's Asta. I'm surprised. On the inside you're just a kid who's about my age. I never woulda guessed it."

Patri: "Stay back you human. What do you want?"

Asta: "I get it. You were tricked. You couldn't protect the ones you loved and everything you once believed in was lost. You're dealing with so many crazy feelings, you can't stand it anymore. But that's why I have to tell you this: DON'T YOU DARE GiVE UP AGAiN. All you've ever done is give up instead of facing your problems. You locked yourself away and hid in the darkness 'cause you thought it was the easiest thing to do."

Patri: "No, stop! Don't talk to me! Shut up! I DON'T HAVE TO LiSTEN TO A THiNG YOU SAY! YOU COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND, STUPiD HUMAN!!"

Asta: "Enough with this 'HuMaN' crap! I told you, my name's Asta. Answer me! How dare you kill the Wizard King? He was a great man, and everyone respected him. I wanted to be like him one day; we all did. And you took control of all those magic knights. You brought back the elves, and you hurt tons of innocent people. You say you can't forgive humans, well, I can never forgive you!"

Patri: "That's why... [inaudible]"

Asta: "And now, after all you did, you're acting like THiS? Just because you made a mistake that you can't fix, that doesn't mean that you're allowed to run away and cry! Think about it! Shouldn't you be trying to defeat that creepy devil guy? You have to guts to make everything else happen, right? You did that! Maybe you weren't chosen. Maybe no one wanted you. And maybe you can't be forgiven. But you still have to STAND YOUR GROUND WiTHOUT MAKiNG EXCUSES FOR YOURSELF!"

Patri: "What? I don't understand you at all. Why are you trying so hard to change my mind? I KNOW YOU'RE WRONG! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Asta: "I wasn't chosen. No one wanted me. I've screwed some stuff up. But I've made up my mind. I'm gonna be the Wizard King! That's why, as long as you're alive, I WON'T GiVE UP ON YOU!"

-- Black Clover

Asta x Patri _Black Clover Art by - @himaeart (Twitter)

Whyyyyy did I post this, you ask? Well, because I get a pretty large amount of my "pep talks" and "motivational speeches" from the anime shows I watch.

Even though Asta talks about Wizard Kings and magic knights, his words to Patri reaaaaaally got to me.

I have been battling an addiction for a little over 2 years. I spent the last 6 months of last year (2023) pretty much locked up in my room.

(I won't get into why that's bad and how it's going and all that nonsense; that's not what this post is about.)

I don't know if this can be found anywhere else on the internet, although I'm sure I'm not the only one who's typed it up, but I'm posting it for myself, and also for anyone else who may stumble upon it and be able to take something good from it, as I did.

thank you for reading :)

[famiglia-lealta]

⚡️ For Neri - What is something you find attractive about Vergil, Squalo, and Xanxus?

⚡️ Ask my muse a question and they MUST answer honestly

"Are questions like these really necessary?" Neri muttered under her breath, fiddling with the few stray hairs around her ears.

"Well, let's see.. Vergil is-- he's very surprising. Obviously, one shouldn't go into meeting other people with their own assumptions, but he's not at all what I would have imagined. Or he was, in the beginning.. he always strikes me as so purposeful. Like everything that he does, he knows that's what he was destined to do, although that seems silly.." Smiling a little as her cheeks grow rosy, she presses a hand to one of them. "I don't like people treating me like I'm fragile, or need any special treatment, but.. he's always so gentle and delicate whenever he touches my hands or anything of the like.."

After a brief moment of silence, she coughs over the awkwardness. "But, ah-- he and Squalo are very similar in their motivations. Power and pride and all of that. I've always admired how Squalo can work amongst some of the most volatile and unhinged people, performing under so much pressure. He's a great strategy captain, and although I'm not fond of weapons myself, I can appreciate the dedication he puts into his swords. Watching the way he fights.. it's absolutely incredible, seeing how driven he is in his facial expressions.."

Good lord, this was turning out to be a lot harder than she'd first hoped. Her ears were now looking like someone had severely burnt her usual honey-coloured skin. "Xanxus is.. difficult." Chewing at her lip for quite some time, she pushed on. "I'm not sure I would use the word attracted, so much. He's a good leader in how he brings such a dysfunctional family to work cohesively, but the way that he does things.. a true mafioso, I suppose. Brutally unrelenting in throwing all that power around."

Neri half-turned herself away, a heavy note of shame in her voice. "I don't know what it is. I shouldn't be drawn to someone like that in the first place, but it's just.. there's no time to think, to be logical about it! He gets all up in your face, he's just there-- does that make me some sort of adrenaline addict? It isn't normal to have your heart racing, to have someone completely unravel and disarm you so easily-- I don't know. I don't know, he makes me feel a lot of things, and some of what he says isn't exactly wrong, I.. I work so hard to hold myself on my own two legs and every time-- every time! He pulls it all away and I'm just.. falling. I think.. I think I'm done talking about this, for awhile. I'm sorry."

[esupurisupremacist]

[Street Gacha] Chapter 6

Written by 木野誠太郎

Ruka: U-uh... Erm... Thats impossible...

Suzu-senpai knows that I'm too nervous to sing in front of people, right?

So even if it doesn't match the image of "Fallen Angel," I think it would be better if Suzu-senpai sang it.

Suzu: Yeah, everyone knows that Ruka is anxious.

But, Ruka, this isn't just a matter of my emotional state.

However, you have a beautiful singing voice. It is perfect for ballads. My husky voice would spoil the image of the song.

That's why I can't sing the ballad you wrote. It matches your style, not mine.

Please sing. I want to hear your voice echo through the streets.

Ruka: B-but...

A~h... Alright...

Well, that's fine. It would be much quicker if we called out to the owner ourselves. If the song isn't sung, it won't reach the owner.

I was also disappoited at Kuromori-senpai. I thought she was a pretty charismatic, since she's called a "Fallen Angel," but she can't even motivate all her juniors.

Suzu: ...

Runa: That's sweet. Too sweet. In our company, we would make our juniors do it even if they said they didn't want to. Even if you have to be hated, your role as a senior is to provide proper guidance.

Suzu: We're different. The light music club, unlike the lacrosse club, is a special place for those who have become separated from the group.

If my heart becomes demonic as well, then those girls will no longer be able to belong anywhere.

Runa: That's what makes it "sweet". They pamper the members who can't perform on stage because of their light-stimulating condition,

That special place of yours... If the light music club disbands without ever having any activities, will you take responsibility for it? That's what I'm asking.

Suzu: That's true. But there are circumstances where that's not always the case. The kids on the lacrosse team are strong. They've been brought up to be strong. Honestly, I respect them.

But that approach doesn't suit the light music club. Forcing tests or rushing for answers won't produce good results.

No matter how much I am criticized for being unfit to be a club leader, I intend to watch over my team members and wait for them to make their own decision.

Ruka: S-Suzu-senpai...

I'll sing.

I hate seing someone insulting Suzu-senpai, but more than anything, I'm starting to hate myself for trying to run away from her, even though she has such high expectations of me.

I'll do my best, so I'd be happy if Suzu-senpai would support me...

Suzu: Yes. Ruka, my precious junior. I have no intention of making you sing alone and exposing you. I'm prepared to take all the dirt. Let me support you with all my might.

Ruka: Ah. ♪ It's reassuring...

Okay then. I need to work hard…!

I'll make you regret being so harsh on Suzu-senpai, lacrosse club member!

Runa: That's the spirit, little one named Ruka. It's time to show us yourself, girlie!

Ruka: Huh?! Um, why are you suddenly rooting for me?! Just a moment ago you were fighting against us!

Hayate: Ahaha. I was totally taken in by Hiiragi's provocation. ♪ Isn't she really good at making people do work?

Ruka: Uh, provocation..?

Mizuki: Yes. I think Hiiragi was motivated well because she doesn't want to get her hands dirty. ♪

When it came to abandoned cats, I was also almost forced to buy powdered milk.

Wait! Now that I think about it, I feel like all the trouble was forced on me because of the abandoned cat!

Runa: Hyahya, ♪ I think Futaba-senpai's memory is wrong~

Mizuki: Hmm. I'll curse you!

Runa: I don't believe in curses, so please feel free to do so~ ♪

Ruka: (I see. I had the wrong idea. But they are good people at heart, if they take care of a stray cat. They deliberately provoked me to take a step forward.)

(Although it's scary to be on stage alone, I have reliable seniors around me.)

(I was scared wanted to run away before, but now, I feel like I can sing in a relaxed manner. I think it's all thanks to my seniors and the kittens... ♪)

(Yes. Before i'll pick up guitar, I'll try singing a little.)

~ ♪ ~ ♪

(Hehe, i feel so happy... ♪)

[ofroyalsyn]

Arrival Of The Prince

[Click clack, click clack, the sound of the stiletto heels behind me was enough to drive me crazy.

"Syn! Stop! Are you crazy?"

Was that even a valid question to ask a Symphath? I don't think so. Hearing that my father, Rehvenge got word that my little sister, @awarriorsmercy was in some sort of trouble at the Brotherhood mansion wasn't exactly going to put me in the mood to satisfy anyone let alone myself. I pulled down my T-shirt and stormed out of the hotel room I was hiding in.

Truth be told, I had no idea who this female was, and I didn't care. She was just another easy score on my bedpost. Did I have a female of worth? Of course, I did, but we had the understanding that she was nothing more than a blood source for feeding. I liked my life I like how I did things and when I ran across her I didn't want things to change. Thankfully my female understood this and expected nothing from me other than the occasional vein and crazy sex now and again. I'm a male, and sex was part of my motivation to keep moving. I pulled out my cell phone trying my best to call my father, but it went right to voicemail as did the call to my sister and my aunt.

I was getting furious but then raven black hair stood in front of my eyesight and I knew my female was trying to stop me from murdering this mystery female that I had fun with last night.

"Syn, calm yourself before you do some damage that you don't mean to do. Wipe her memories because she's a human, you idiot. Quickly, Synester we don't have all day."

My female? She was my equivalent as far as attitude. Even though I did not want a relationship with her in the way that most bonded males did I still had a territorial side when it came to her. Destiny or not in the way of a male point of view she was a score for anyone's bed. I turned on my heels and stared at the female that kept me company last night. I quickly scrubbed her thoughts and disappeared as quickly as I had appeared in her life.

My female Ember stood in front of me with her arms folded over her chest.

"You dummy, I told you on the night we met that I was perfectly okay with you sleeping with whatever walked your way, but I didn't think that included humans. I didn't even know that you weren't aware of what was going on at the mansion. The human you tried to score with last night works at the club."

 Shit, my father was going to kill me for that alone. My amethyst eyes stared at my female, wondering why she wanted to protect me, considering we didn't really have a bond. Sure, we had amazing sex when the mood struck, but that was very rare. Being the son of the most feared creature in Caldwell it makes it impossible to find company for the night.

You're wondering how I exist, right? I am the son of the Princess that my father was trying to escape from. Luckily, she's dead and I simply have my father and my sister in my life. I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves but the bonding scent that came over me as Ember moved was driving me crazy.]

Woman quit doing that. I need to get to my family you're getting in the way. Don't think for a minute that you won't be a target on my list if you keep me from seeing Mercy.

[Was I an ass? Yes, but maybe that's because my needs weren't satisfied last night no matter the position. I don't know why my female found it necessary to save my ass, but I was thankful she did.

"Look, I can feed and fuck you later if you wish, but if you talk to me like that again I will kick your ass from here to the next city line and back again."

I knew I had pushed my limits with Ember, but I didn't care given the situation. I can make up for it later. Sex wasn't a priority now although getting some relief might help me focus. My female kept watching me as I moved much too quickly for most.

 "Syn, breathe, please."

She drove me insane most of the time, but for her to come looking for me because of the situation that my family found itself in spoke volumes. I exhaled turning back to look at her with her raven hair.]

 I'm sorry, E, I can't lose her. Maybe if I wasn't so busy trying to score, I would've realized that Mercy was in the club last night. Damn, how the hell did you find out anyway?

[I watched as my female laughed evilly.

"I have my ways; trust me I have my ways."

She sliced her neck with a blade staring at me.

"Feed."

It wasn't a request; it was an order. I was a bit too rough with her right now, but I knew why she was doing it. She was trying to get me to focus on something other than my blind rage. Of course, when my fangs sunk into her, my hips jerked in the direction of hers. Sex was going to have to wait which isn't something I do. Once I was thoroughly fed, I sealed the wound and nodded.]

 I will repay the favor as soon as I know what is going on. Thank you.

[Without a word she was gone and every time I felt a little guilty for using her as a blood machine. When I slipped behind the wheel of my black Dodge Charger, I felt nothing but anger. I headed toward the direction that I believed the mansion was located, but to my surprise, it was there in plain sight. That's when I knew exactly why Ember came looking for me, she was worried about @awarriorsmercy. I jumped out of my car like it was going to explode as soon as it came to a stop. There were people I didn't recognize I didn't care to know as I walked through the door. I knew some of the warriors because of them coming into zero-sum all the time. I saw the blood on the floor, and I smelled it too. My voice came out as loud as a thunderclap.]

 DAD!

[When he emerged, he looked fine but the look on his face told me something else was wrong and it was something that was probably going to unleash the side of me that no one could control my lethal side. The side that everyone except one person feared. The one person who didn't fear me was my father, but right now he looked terrified to see me.]

[bubblegum-blackwood]

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

Ah good question. I feel like that's a complicated one that's not so straightforward to answer.

TL;DR - idk I like it :] and I like people

I've been writing fiction since I was nine years old. My teacher had us do some creative writing in class, and I fell head over fucking heels for the concept! It's crazy to see how much I've grown since then 😂 but I kid you not, I've known I wanted to write for a living since I was nine years old. I did it once and was like yeah . . . I like this. Funnily enough, I started out writing fanfiction, although at the time I hadn't heard of that word or that concept. My sibling and I had a game we called "Kid Wars" - essentially, we RPed being Star Wars OCs. My character was a female clone of Jango Fett (how did I come up with that as a small child and then The Bad Batch happened????????? will never get over that) who secretly joined the Jedi Order and fell in love with Obi-Wan 😂😂😂 ah, children. This origin story is never not funny to me. Anyway, over the years since then, it's slowly evolved into something nearly indistinguishable from Star Wars (I've mostly just kept something that vaguely looks like the Force and some OC names and arcs, but the worldbuilding is entirely original, and I had so much fun with it!)

But I digress.

It's ironic to me because even though my writing days largely started with terrible self-insert fanfiction I since then only wrote original works and even railed almost as vehemently against fanfiction as Anne Rice herself! 😂 But I spent some time on Tumblr and I caved and read Burden of my Days by @hekateinhell and have never been the same since. And now I have 36 fics and counting!

What originally drew me to writing as a kid is just the whole idea of making shit up. I've been making up silly lil stories in my head to keep my insomniac ass busy at night since I was in kindergarten, and when I realised I could write them down? When I realised I could get paid money for that shit??? Hell yeah! I can make a career out of doing something I genuinely love doing, and I'm so grateful that it's even an option for me because I have no clue what I would have told people I wanted to be when I grew up otherwise. As I've gotten older, I've understood more about what exactly I enjoy about writing (which allows me to take inspiration from the books and shows I like without copy-pasting every minute detail that I don't actually need) - it's people. I like people, I like knowing what makes them tick, I like watching them fuck up and I like watching them interact with others. It's part of what draws me to psychology and sociology, too. I just genuinely enjoy stories. I could eat a well-done character arc for breakfast, honestly. And that's what gets me about the writing. My books don't need big grand plots, the conflicts largely are not centered around big bads with large armies, it's all about people and the relationships they have with others within the narrative. (Don't get me wrong, though, I have fantastical elements - vampires and ghosts, especially, are quite abundant in my stories).

Plus, there's something about the actual process of writing that just gets me in a good mood. Sometimes the executive dysfunction or general life fatigue makes it hard for me to get myself to pick up the pencil, but when I feel motivated, DAMN, the juices be flowing! Sometimes I get in the zone and I just know what happens next and the words just come to me and it feels good, honestly good. I can agonize over it for hours sometimes, but crafting artful sentences to paint a picture with words is such a powerful feeling. I just can't imagine how my life would have turned out had I not discovered how fun it is to write.

And with fanfiction? To me, it's all about connection. To look deeper at the text, to identify what you like about events or characters or pairings and make it your own, to really know the book you love so much. But not only that, then also you get to connect with other fans! You get to get excited together, be proud together, maybe even make friends through it! You get to talk to people!!! And I think the value of that can never be understated enough.

Anyway. I've rambled plently now 😂 thanks for the ask!

[darkjsmn]

The Exam Season Slow

15.1.2025

Where I live, the exams don't start until after New Year's Eve. Last year, during my first semester at uni, I considered this great. It meant that I had extra two weeks or so between the end of the semester and New Year's to study. Now I'm not so sure its as exciting as I thought.

I spent the entire fall term in a rush. I got a new job, which was great, but it meant I had to wake up at 5 a.m. three days a week. I took up two courses on English Literature - which was also great, but they required me to read a book a week each. And I couldn't be slacking in the other courses either; there were assignments, homework, readings, and revision to do. This was also the first term without midterms, so I had no motivation to revise throughout the term and let it pile up. I still came home over the weekends, during which I tried to balance the time I spent with all of my loved ones and the time I spent on schoolwork. Needless to say, I struggled, and most of the times I put school before family, since the weekends were the only time I could get a proper, long-ish study session in.

My average school day looked like this: I woke up, made breakfast, made myself a coffee to go and took of for work. During the 40 minutes commuting I either studied (If I was in a real rush), or just listened to something, trying to keep myself awake. I usually worked 7-11, sometimes 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. On average, I would get in around 15k steps during a single shift.

After work I rushed back to the city centre. Some days I had to go straight to school, which meant eating lunch on public transport, and if I had yoga that day, I also had to carry around a yoga mat for the entire day. I'm not complaining though, since this yoga class was the only time in a week when I could properly calm down, even if it was for just a few minutes.

If I had time between work and class, I ate lunch home. Sometimes I would just watch a TV show and rest for a bit, but as the end of the term was getting closer and all of my piled-up work was due, during the hour and a half that I had free for lunch I had to study.

The classes were great. I will probably always be amazed at how exciting life can get when you study it in depth. Every week I felt so grateful for it. Although I did accidentally fall asleep during class sometimes, but that was kind of inevitable.

I would usually get home at around 6, sometimes later. I unpacked - and packed again for the next day - and took a much needed shower. I made myself dinner as well as prepared food for the next day: I had to pack my lunch sometimes, and everytime I needed to pre-cut my fruit for breakfast, so I wouldn't waste time and wake up my roomates in the morning.

After dinner, I studied, responded to any messages, and went to sleep, so I could repeat te whole process again the next day. Yay!

So you can probably understand that once all of that was finally over when the term ended, I had to change something. This was an unsustainable way of life, and I have been straining myslelf like this for 3 months straight. I couldn't just jump right into studying for the exams - not after neglecting my friends, boyfriend and family for weeks, and don't even get me started on how much I neglected myself; my health, mental and physical.

So in the end I had to take the exam season slow. Lots of teas - to keep me company, and to keep me caffeinated. Warm, fuzzy socks, christmas music, apples with cinnamon. Turning off the laptop to go play a board game with my family. Some days not using the laptop at all.

Somehow all that hard work I did during the term paid off. As the exam season comes to an end (There is only one last exam to take and an essay to write), I am starting to realise that some changes will have to be made. I know how much I can endure now (and its a lot, apparently), but I don't want to push myself to the limits anymore. I hope that the exam season will just slowly and smoothly transform into the spring term, with no more rush. I will take things slowly now, resting properly.

[miracleweaponhunt]

Miracle Weapon Hunt Chapter 75: Off The Wall

"So Cheng buddy, what's the sitch back at the Cluster? I know my room's a little…grassier than it should be, but you're an adaptable guy, you'll work it out."

"The room is suitable for my needs. Although granted, I'm not one for sleeping when there's things to do. And as for the cluster itself, it's running perfectly fine. Nobodies stepped out of line and everything is still to standard, thanks to Manuel."

"See, that's why I left you two in charge! Anyway, I'll call you back later, we've probably got a big day today!"

"I see. Well, tell Daciana I said hello, and I'll report if anything comes up. Permission to hang up?"

"Granted! And buddy, feel free to call the girls over. Picked em myself, they'll satisfy any problem ya got."

Chelic hung up the phone and laid back in his new throne. He ran his finger across the dagger embedded inside it, living in the moment as he did his best not to get cut. He succeeded, only to shake his hand and barely miss it when the chandelier in the throne room fell, alongside Serafina on top in a daze.

"I ask why you did that, Serafina?" Marcus asked, as relaxed as usual.

"Oh, me and Ziwadi had a competition to see who could get to the top first. He won, but felt things fall, and…long story short, don't compete in a climbing contest against guys who can swap places with people. Shouldn't have to say that, but I guess I do."

Chelic burst into a fit of laughter, almost hitting his elbow against the dagger.

"Oh, Serafina." He said while shaking his head. "You get me every time. Just be more careful next time, alright?"

"Sir, I know you let the top ten do what they want, but I feel now of all times would be a good time to show at least a little pushback to their more unruly actions." Marcus said, trying to hold in a sigh of exasperation.

"Relax, big guy." Chelic said, shaking his head while straightening himself out in his throne. "It's a little roughhousing before the main event. Besides, a chandelier like that? Perfect weight to say, crush an unsuspecting enemy to death, don't ya think?"

Marcus looked blankly.

"I-I'm the enemy in this scenario. To them?"

"I got it."

"Great, just checking."

"So how's the perimeter of the castle?" Marcus asked.

"Great question!" Chelic exclaimed, taking his phone out and calling Chizoba.

"Heyyy, Chizoba!"

"Hello." Chizoba answered flatly.

"So, how's my favorite cyborg doing? Anything up? Anything suspicious going on?"

"Nothing at the moment?" She replied, glancing up to a clear sky.

"But for how long?" He asked.

"I'll let you know when something comes up." Chizoba said calmly. "Any feeds from other airships?"

"Uhh…I'll check them real quick and get back."

Chelic hung up the phone.

"I may have forgot to get the scouts to send me info on when the heroes approached me." He said, giving an awkward smile to a scowling Marcus.

"Hey, we'll deal with the sitch when they show up. Doubt we'll have any issues anyway."

Chizoba kept watch on the wall of the castle, surrounded by her hooded companions from the church. It was a pretty calm morning, all things considered. Nobody really dared mess with them, so it was just a few people trying to go about their days while occasionally glancing at what the castle had become. At most, parents pulled their children away from the walls when they got too close, probably afraid of what she or the others of the Legion would do to them. Which was nothing, as far as she was concerned. In fact, she'd be more than happy to explain their goals and educate their children on the aims of the Legion. In fact, it seemed preparing a speech of some kind would be a decent idea, seeing as Chelic didn't seem to have much of a plan about what to do. She took out a sheet of paper and borrowed a pen from one of her subordinates, trying her best to scribble down some words that calmly explain her motives, throwing in her own backstory of being neglected by the people around her. Sure, it could come across as slightly manipulative writing, but was hardly the worst thing the Legion had recently done.

"Hey, what you writing there?"

Chizoba didn't recognize the voice that spoke to her, so she looked up and saw Samuel staring down at her. She shot upwards with an uppercut from her metallic hand, which Samuel quickly stepped away from. She commanded her friends to attack him, switching her hand into a three pronged claw.

About twenty people circled around Samuel. He casually put his hands into his pockets, leaping upwards. When he came down, three of the idiots were already down from jumping towards him and crashing headfirst into each other. The rest all threw limbs towards him, which he countered pretty easily by simply grabbing the longer ones and slamming both them and their owners to the ground. He jumped over the next excuse for an attacker, standing on his hands and rotating his legs, feeling the impacts of several Legion soldiers against his shoes as they fell around him. He flipped upwards to admire his handiwork, with Chizoba being the only person left standing on the wall. They made eye contact for a brief second, with Samuel shaking his hands. He remembered what the deal with this lady was. Chizoba, that was her name. Trying to fight her with his hands in his pockets could actually end pretty badly, so this was one to take seriously.

Chizoba lunged towards him. He stretched a leg out to catch it, and let the metal arm clash against his leg for a second. But in a flash, the hand opened to a claw which caught his leg, slamming him to the ground. Samuel pushed his hands behind him and pushed the ground as soon as he hit it, using the momentum to lift off the ground just a little bit and fling both him and Chizoba into the air. He stomped downwards and regained his centre of gravity before Chizoba could react, and he grabbed her in midair, throwing her off the wall before she could pull anything else. The sound of something hitting the wall was heard, and Einer was soon right behind him, observing the damage.

"You made quick work of them." He said calmly. They were all unconscious, but they were breathing. None had injuries a quick visit to the doctors couldn't fix.

"Thanks." Samuel nodded without looking back.

"Now, I was able to freeze the girl you threw off before anything bad could happen. Just letting you know."

"Thanks." Samuel repeated, eyeing up the castle so he could estimate what the safest route in would be.

"I just hope you remember what we're here for. Reclamation, and not some petty idea of vengeance."

"Got it."

Samuel leapt away, leaving Einer to look around and determine that he was probably fine.

Time for the real fighters.

[darlingsfandom]

I just started watching good omens so i don't know what to say how far i go, because well i'm distracted and go back several times because i get the feeling that i'm not paying enough attention, also i dissociate a lot so that's it factor also influences, but what i have seen i have liked a lot, although i saw some clips on TikTok and i think it will make me suffer a little, but i am fine with it, it still sounds attractive to watch!😌

I think the dynamic between Cillian and his wife is beautiful, especially with all those years together, at the Oscars they still look so happy next to each other🥹🥹

The truth is that I find Kitty's story so inspiring, i cried a little because it made me think about everything that people have to suffer to be THEMSELVES and it seems so unfair to me.

I'm actually open to everything, it doesn't matter, always take the time to watch things if they are series, a few episodes to decide if it catches my attention or not, and the same with movies I watch the first twenty minutes and go by that, as i said i'm very distracted, so if something keeps me focused on what's on the screen i'll stay until it's over. 🙂‍↕️

Yesssss, it was me!!! It was a while ago, but it was when i had just seen the movie and you said you wanted to write more about Kitty and I thought why not, well, don't remember exactly what i said, but it did ask about adopting a pet,don't feel bad for not writing it sometimes our hobby they become tiresome, write it whenever you want and can, and if you want to do it too, if not everything is fine, it is important that you feel comfortable above all things!🫶🏻🫶🏻

Also, i asked for it at the same time i got my cat haha, his name is Bozza, he's one of those furry cats, but right now she's being too naughty, though she's still too cute too!!!🥹🥹

I actually find older men attractive too, i feel like it's beyond experience i think these grown men have pretty interesting conversation topics and know how to lead a conversation, something that rarely happens to me with people close to my age:(

I'm not currently on birth control, but I did for a while and they were a pain, maybe that had a little to do with it anyway:( that's horrible!!!

I hope you have a great day/night, morning is just beginning where I live and i decided i'll have a self-care day while watching the series!!🙂‍↕️💗

Ber💌

Good omens is going to make you cry! I cried like a baby because … well no spoilers but you’ll understand! I’m a big fan of David Tennant so I enjoyed it a lot! It is a show where you do want to pay attention but you can miss a little bit and it will be fine. I’m the same way that I’ll get distracted and miss part of the show but with shows if I don’t like it with in five minutes, I’m over it. Movies same way, maybe twenty minutes like you had said.

Yes! They’re a cute couple but it’s also like I want both of them to love me ! They’re a power couple! The lipstick moment was adorable and how blushy he got!

Breakfast on Pluto will play with your emotions because yes parts are sad and devastating ! But like when she’s in school writing the story about the father ! That’s dirty and funny! Kitten owns my heart! I also think that she’s my favorite because not only does she show the struggle but it’s the truth!

I’m comfortable writing fluff! I just haven’t had motivation to write. I did kinktober and pushed myself to write things outside my comfort to see if I could and I watched a lot of them “flop” and it hurt. Sometimes when I do request and it doesn’t have traction it hurts because I use my time and what energy I have left to write and sometimes I do write for myself but when it’s not appreciated it makes me feel sad, that my writing isn’t good enough and that’s part of why I haven’t wrote anything since kinktober. I know you enjoy my writing and I appreciate that 💕

As far as recommendations go: The X Files! It’s a 90s drama/thriller, Doctor Who(2005), Ghosts, Staged, Bobs Burgers, Narcos, Ancient Mysteries, Criminal Minds, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Castle Rock(the first season), Vikings and Drunk history! Those are all shows! I’m not big on movies but I have a few of those if you want ✨

Older men and women get me going 🥵 they have the experience like you said! But they also care differently. They take the time to know what makes you tick, what you like! I’m 27 and single. I have only had older partners but to be fair only one who’s my best friend now actually finished me off 👀👀👀

Birth control is a bitch! I’m on it so it will regulate my period so I can even have a period because between the ages of 16-19 I didn’t have a single period and that’s how I found out about PCOS!

Enjoy your self care day !! Those are important✨ it’s currently early afternoon here so I’m thinking your timezone isn’t too far ahead of mine !