#although let’s be honest he would be an interesting plotline all on his own

[aheathen-conceivably]

Hi! No rush on answering this at all. I just saw your post about how much new stuff you were writing for the Darlingtons, and I was just curious if your method of plotting had changed any. I remembered you explaining once how you planned out general plot beats but also left a significant amount up to what the game would tell you - like how Rosella was originally going to have an affair with George's husband (his name escapes me right now, lol), but in game Rosella didn't seem interested in men, and therefore the story shifted to what we know now. Simply curious if that's still the case or not. Either way, love your work!

Awww hello, Emzy, dear! Always a joy to see your lil icon ☺️

So I’ll be the first to admit that I can’t pinpoint exactly what I’ve explained about my process in the past, partially because I have a supremely shitty memory but also because the process has morphed over time! But more or less the way I’ve always planned is that I have ideas for “moments”, some big like the Titanic and others relatively small like individual scenes or even snippets of dialogue. How I connect those moments is something that has some flexibility.

However, I wouldn’t say that gameplay really influences this at all? So like for Rosella, it wasn’t so much that “in game” (like through preferences, actions, traits, etc) influenced me, more that as I thought on who she was and how she got to that “moment,” all the details became more clear. It’s almost like a block of marble, in that the more you chip away at the structure, the clearer the object becomes, even though you went into the project with a clear goal. Unfortunately gameplay does not do much to help illuminate that path, although I do think seeing the characters is inspiration in and of itself, and does serve to bring them and their motivations to life.

What I will say has changed is that I now have more and more of those “moments.” So as the plots, characters, and years gain momentum, they begin to draw lines amongst themselves or produce consequences that in turn connect the dots almost on their own. So yes, now more than in the 1900s for example, I am functioning in my own web of plot points more than I am still figuring out how to make large connections between “moments”, if that makes sense? But simultaneously this also creates its own need for more developments, connections, and jumps, so it’s always a give and take between planning, writing, and feeling out how exactly to connect all these things together in a way that feels genuine for the characters that have revealed more of themselves with each passing year.

Anywho, I hope this made a lick of sense! Thanks for the question my dear ☺️

[beatledumpster]

considering writing a time travel beatles fic (i know it’s been done but they really do tickle my fancy), and as a result started wondering what each beatle would choose to do if they ever went back in time to the pre-beatlemania era.

i feel like the most natural thing for me would be to do it from paul’s pov, but i realized that he might not decide to change the course of events too dramatically, which doesn’t sound that interesting, as a story. after all he identifies strongly with his own ambition and work and even though his success may look effortless and i’ve heard him say that he ‘wouldn’t want to go through it again’ when asked about trying to reach the same level of popularity as the beatles with wings, he did work towards achieving commercial success with wings after the beatles, and always seemed to really care about charts and the reception of his work, so it looks like a wildly successful songwriting career has always been a focus in his life. the other three also tried to have successful music careers after the beatles but it seemed to me that they were less driven and cultivated other interests. maybe the story could be about him getting over an insecure need for commercial success or conforming to an expected path in general, but by the point he would realise it’s not worth it to do it all again it may already be too late and beatlemania would already be in full swing… and i think i’d rather write a story about the beatles with limited or no fame.

george’s pov on the other hand, would be more interesting but maybe too hard to write for me, as i know him less and i am not sure what kind of disruptions he would provoke and to what end. which life would he choose for himself instead of beatlemania, and how? leaving the band before fame and becoming just another member of the beatles’ entourage, as an ordinary guy, or a less famous solo artist or the member of another band, would be a radical but relatively straightforward possibility that george could choose. he could try to be in rory storm and the hurricanes with ringo (which is consistent with the fact that he used to try and get in alan caldwell/rory storm’s band back in 1957 or so), and be forever in the shadow of the beatles (assuming they’d still succeed as well without him) while still having fun and living similar experiences in a new band. he may try to fly to the US and meet bob dylan early on. he may leave for india and try to become a holy man. however, one reason he might not want to leave the band would be the risks of straining his relationships with the other two or three again, if they took it as a betrayal (which i think they would do, more than with stu or any other less important member). he could be sneakier then, and pretend to become a mediocre guitarist and get pete-bested (that is, if paul doesn’t confront him about it first and makes a version of the let it be arguments happen years earlier). seeing how the beatles never talked to pete again after he was sacked and probably looked down on him, that’s not an ideal decision. although i’m into this plotline, if he stayed in the band but tried to sabotage their success or at least limit its scope, it would be trickier and also slightly evil. and i don’t think he would be able to go against the enormous drive of his bandmates, except if he managed to get them depressed enough to give up in a moment of disillusionment, or if he was honest and convinced them that superfame was not what they wanted… which i don’t think would work. he could maybe be manipulative and sway paul using the opinion of his father, back when paul almost quit and took up a factory job.

anyway. i’m thinking!

[cancerian-woman]

I think about it sometimes and after going through the posts with "anti Hayley Marshall", "anti Klaus Mikaelson", and "Tyler Lockwood" tags, I formed an interesting opinion. This came from the idea that "The Originals would have never happened if not for Tyler being the reason Klaus met Hayley" and "Hayley got the werewolf storyline Tyler should have had".

And you know what? In a long run, it's good she had that arc. Hayley is pregnant - so the Mikaelsons would have to keep her safe (regardless if they liked her or not). She had a birthright to a pack that needed her help as the only surviving member not touched by the Crescent Curse to save them - then give them a seat to a tension-filled political table. It's good to see she wants peace in New Orleans because it's not just for her - it's for her baby not to grow up like she did (on that note: We should've met Hayley's adoptive parents for closure as a expecting/new mom). And then, she becomes a hybrid after being murdered on her daughter's birthday. She knows damn well her pack hates hybrids and if not for Klaus making her look good, they would have never accepted her. And she then gives the Crescents a magical "copy and paste" of her hybrid abilities through her marriage to Jackson (IMO: For all his meddling, he was the few good things she never deserved). And in response, the pack calls her their "Queen" and fights to help protect Hope (which is hilarious as the werewolves are decimated by Dahlia on more than one account up to Lucien having them killed while they were trapped in their wolf forms). And then, Hayley leaves them alone while she goes on to save the Mikaelsons - leaving them at the mercy of the Hollow. And even better, after watching 3 seasons of old Mikaelson family members and enemies be a threat to Hope (counting Esther as S1's true mastermind) - here's the kicker: The Hollow not only created the Werewolf Curse (and tbh, we should have recognized a witches hand in it since TVD) and it's Hayley's ancestor, whom also played a reason in her being orphaned in the first place!

In one light, you can say everything with the Crescents is her redemption for the Hybrid Pack (because let's be honest: If they knew what Hayley did - she would have never been accepted!)

Remember this:

But in another light, this is a universally, planned long-con of karma. As much as we dislike how Tyler was portrayed in TO, it was to showcase the point: TO was dedicated to make Hayley look good, thus Tyler had to look bad in everyone's eyes. Hayley became what she mercilessly betrayed - which that and her own actions led to her pack losing numbers and not trusting her. And the icing on the cake is that she died a vampire, but not by her own enemies but Klaus's! She'd been kidnapped by her kid, Klaus's enemies found her and ripped her Creacent birthmark from her body, and then her very werewolf natured was bounded away, leaving her a mostly weakened vampire that goes out in a fiery blaze (the elemental opposite of Carol Lockwood's death).

In a cinematic, gross conclusion: Hayley did get her comeuppance.

In gaining significantly after betraying the hybrids, ends with her stripped of her the werewolf heritage she prided herself in (symbolically with her birthmark, literally with the Hybrid Curse). And the people she loved ended up being what put her in danger and led to her death.

So, in retrospect, it's good she got Tyler's potential werewolf plotline - because she would be systematically paying for her crimes in TVD in the most painstaking way possible, gaining only to lose more than she had. And it's ironic because while his death was undeserving, at least Tyler goes out with his werewolf heritage intact.

And that's something poetically satisfying about that.

Well this is an interesting way to look at it. Yeah, the plot of the originals is because of Tyler’s connection to Hayley. Although their existence is due to the Bennett bloodline as most of the things in tvdu are but that’s another topic. I do want to say Hayley’s struggles in her story doesn’t erase the lack of story for Tyler. Yeah, you can look at it as some karma storyline. But most people don’t view Hayley that way. They think she simply deserved better and all she wanted to be was a mom to Hope…..anyways

All of Tyler’s greatest accomplishments we don’t get to see. We don’t get to see how he adjusted to being a wolf. But we do see how he becomes a hybrid and Klaus’ slave. Then later on we learned he became an alpha. We also learned he was helping those wolves break free from their sirebonds. He continues to be some placed in character when the plot needed it versus showing us how he did those things. How did he function as a alpha? What about other Lockwoods? Following tvd’s rule the werewolf curse can be dormant throughout someone’s life. TVD loved taking away characters family members one by one and then moving on from it as nothing happened. This is prominent through Tyler & Bonnie. The other characters are allowed some support but for them we get nothing. Also…writing that these characters have long lasting bloodlines and turning around to kill/claim they were dead is just bullshit?….Personally, didn’t care much for Parkwood but Tyler didn’t even get to have that as an ending relationship. Klaus/Caroline/Stefan all contributed to enslaving &/or villainizing Tyler. Klaro/Kcers can be described as more in your face with it while Stefan/SC was a bit more lowkey with this.

As you said we did get to see Hayley become a werewolf queen. We got to see her struggle and be rejected. Find love, etc. Again all of this to say none of the things she went through can ever erase Tyler’s lack of story and I’m going to pinch in Klaus’ lack of wolf storyline in TO.

however lol. it’s ironic the characters in TVD who came from legacies have zero children or actual connection to the show legacies. Tyler’s been dead for years by then and Bonnie is only referenced when they need a spell that requires Bennett blood. I do want to say what irks me deeply about Tyler’s death is no one beyond Matt reacts to it. What happened to the MFG being friends since they were little kids? It’s a complete disrespect to his character. It’s just as irritating as Bonnie’s funeral in s5.

[noco7]

Hi! I just read your post on Nemma and Noah's characterization in RR and, although I actually really like Nemma, I totally agree with you about how nuts the writing was. But it made me curious so I decided to ask: what are your thoughts on Emma as a character? I quite like her, but I prefer Kitty lol.

Hello! Nice to hear from you, and I'm glad n*mma worked for some people. As for Emma, I'm going to be honest - I don't know what to make of her. The first (and last) time I watched RR, I really tried to like her. I didn't want to be one of those people who hated the female love interest for getting in the way of their gay ship. And I accomplished that, I don't hate Emma. But I don't love her either. Perhaps I should love her. She's a bit like Courtney - not as extreme and so not as interesting imo, but she's still a mean girbloss. And I like evil women. Hell, I like Amy from Pakhitew and the only thing she ever did was be mean to her sister. And I enjoyed every second of it. That girl was so evil it crossed into camp. Considering all those things, Emma should have been easy favorite. But ehh, didn't happen. And I think that's more on me. The more I force myself to like something, the more attention I pay to the flaws. The more people tell me something's bad, the more I look for the good things. It's like I always want to prove someone wrong, whether thats myself or the public. But enough about me, let's talk about Emma:

IMO, Emma has three main things going for her during RR. Her relationship with her sister, her relationship with Noah, and her trust issues regarding alliances. 1) The sister plot. I have mixed feelings about how this plot began, because yeah, Emma was pretty mean. Which I should like, because I liked Amy. But I was never supposed to like Amy, so I did. But I was supposed to like Emma. Emma's a protaganist. So I didn't. 💀 That being said, even I can't deny how well this plotline resolved. Her problem had been her putting the competition ahead of her sister, but for her to accept defeat because her sister was more important? Chef's kiss. Masterful writing. Great message for the kiddies and adults alike.

So yeah, mixed feelings, but overall, I'd say it was Good. 2) Her relationship with Noah. Yeah, no. You already saw me diss this ship, which, sorry. But I will be nicer this time! Despite my dislike, It does solve the problem of her not being over her ex. That's good, that she could find love again. And tbf, I think it does make sense that she likes Noah, or at least more sense the other way around. Since she's allowed to dislike him first, it's not insta-love. And once Noah proves himself by always trying to impress her and help him out, like.. yeah of course she likes the guy who's dedicated to being her simp. I too would grow to like someone who liked me. So what's the problem? Ehh, it's her weird comments. She compares Noah's ass to apples, when the guy is flat af. Emma says Noah's funny in his least funny season, then laughs at one of Noah's jokes, before admitting she doesn't get it. Like, it feels like the writers weren't sure of how to make Noah appealing without making Emma a little insane. The family thing, the hair fish thing, the obession over him even when he's gone. I know that's her thing, that Emma is slightly obsessive. (And I'd be a hypocrite to hate Noah's SO being slightly obsessive. Like that isn't the whole plot of my Noco fic. But uhh, I use it as a way to deconstruct anxiety, neglect, and talk about the importance of consent. TD doesn't do that with Emma. It's just a funny weirdo thing she does 😜)

And perhaps that would be fine and quirky. Not everything has to deep. And that's true. Unfortunately, I'm an ex BNHA stan. For those who don't know about the manga, good, but also there's uhh some Sexist Writing in there. In this specific case, I'm talking about Deku and Ochako. Deku is the main hero guy, and Ochako is the love interest. They both start off as capable heros with their own unique motives, yet as soon as Uraraka started liking Deku, everything became about him. Every fight she thinks of him, 99% of her plot and screentime becomes about him. She stops being a character on her own and more a sattelite that revolves around Deku.

Now, TD didn't do this with Emma. She is still her own character after Noah is gone, and arguably a better one. But still, her continuing to think about Noah to the point of getting distracted rlly bothers me. It's like war flashbacks to 2018. So no, I don't think N*mma was a successful plotline for Emma, because while it did solve her problem ✅ and did kinda make sense ✅ it made her annoying to watch. ❌ And I hate Nemma, so BOOO! Negative points!!

3) But what about her thing about not being able to trust people? And I don't mean men, I mean alliances. There's this whole thing where Kitty tries to get Emma to consider alliances. The Nowen one works, sorta. (You know, if Noah was a true boyfriend, he would have continued the competition, just so he could stay and help his GF. But apparently Noah's just one of those guys who like... is lazy and annoying, meets a girl he likes, puts massive amounts of effort to woo her - then once he gets the girl, he stops. Oof. 💀) But what about the other alliance? The Adversity Twins. Uhhh. Emma kinda betrayed them. For Noah! A good cause! But it kinda weakens her trusting other people, and willingness to help her competitors, when one of her Big Moments was throwing them overboard for her bf she wasn't even dating yet. Wow. I'd be so pissed if I were the Adversity Twins, lmao. This moment isn't bad in itself, but it confuses the message. She's trying to learn how to make alliances, but she throws one alliance to save the other. Net gain 0. And if I'm remembering wrong, she also didn't trust the Surfer Dudes later on? So uhhh. Tl;dr Emma had 3 main things in RR, she aced one of them, flopped in the other, and kinda... nothinged the third. At least for me. So in the end, it all cancels out. I feel like if I watched RR again, I might like her more. And if I liked N*mma, like you do, I might have liked Emma too. Unfortunately, I have taken the path into darkness.

If you're wondering if my fic will bash her, the answer is no. She doesn't have much of a presence in this fic for obvious reasons, and if she appears, it will be brief, and as Noah's friend. Emma the dog, however, will be making consistent appearances. I feel less bad about the overlapping names now that the new TD Season also has another Emma. Thank you TD, for assuaging my guilt. They really do care about their fans. 🤧 And if you're wondering why I named the dog Emma, when I could have just not... I took a Jane Austen class in college, thought Noah would like Austen, Emma is Austen's best book imo, thought the coincidence funny, starting thinking of how to insert his Austen like in the narrative in subtle ways, thought of his dog, and well. Yeah. That's the main reason. Should I have just named her Elizabeth or smth? Yeah. But Noah hates the monarchy :(

[lordofhunger47]

My top criticisms about Gravity Falls(this is not a hate message, I consider GF as a masterpiece although a flawed one and later I'm going to post about My top things I love about GF so please be civil)

1-Wendy Corduroy's complete lack of development:as much as I like wendy it is no denying she is underulitized,seriously they made us care for a supporting character,a mean girl cliche' in ONE episode,made her more than a blonde stereotype and made us actually care about her but couldn't done that to our badass red head who is one of the main cast with TONS of potential to grow like family issues,teenage rebellion,gluttony in work and having a bad taste in boys... to be more than a princess unattainable who makes teens around her to drool?!,Beside once you make it clear that she isn't going to end up with Dipper, that's pretty much it for the character. Too much of her characterization is built around being Dipper's idealized LI, and she not really relevant to the main plotline,Being super cool and talented isn't very interesting on its own(ask rey from sequel trilogy or ultrasmufs from WH40k, even alex said she was "too perfect" thus why there are so many unaired episodes centre around her which makes me sad for never airing)

2-Everything about Love God and Roadside Attraction:in Love God mabel didn't face her consequences,didn't learn any and worse Robbie got rewared for his ill-manner and insecurities and never even acknowldge his wrong doing toward Wendy and Dipper(hence why I love reading fanfics about robbie having his come uppence).

As for roadside attraction?giving Dipper The Last Jedi treatment of Luke Skywalker and making hypocrites out of Mabel and the girls since they LITERALLY condemned Dipper for the same thing they do on a DAILY BASIC ,beside they were the ones who pushed the whole "candip" thing.

3-using Ford as a scapegoat:I know he is faulty but lets not forget Stan also share the blame,sure he didn't mean to destroy Ford's project but he didn't told him in order to fix it either because he secretly hope that his accident would make Ford stay,he was petty in weirdmaggedon and while Ford is arrogant with messiah complex, Stan is implusive with victim complex and at least Ford TRIES to take responsibilty while Stan only did take responsibility when he tries to keep Mabel and Dipper out of this by FAVORITISM and HUMILIATION the fact that he do so after his father the water downed-american-ozai wannable only makes it worse(lets be honest if Dipper was gay,bi or trans everyone in media would scream for blood after seeing Dipper vs Manliness).

Besides,how would you feel if one of your relatives steal your identity,ruin your name and make a mockery out of your life's work??sure he was trying to have enough money to return you but what part of "stealing your name and mock your job" was necessary!?even a simple merch shop makes as much money as a tourist trap

4-Double Standard toward Dipper:I get that his character arc pretty much amounts to: "Stop being a pretentious twit, stop trying to act older than you are, enjoy being a kid while you can." The problem is that the show eventually starts beating on Dipper for wanting ANYTHING at all, and that he must always put Mabel first, even if she's in the wrong. The show seems to say that Dipper should take Mabel's approach to life, and although that might make him happier, he's just not Mabel. Instead of learning to pursue his goals in a less reckless way, he is dis-alluded from having goals period, and that can get frustrating to watch,I don't have a sibiling but I do know that pleasing one in sacrifice of your dreams and everything that makes you you is NOT how healthy relationships works in fact it is toxic

5-Handling ships:take the owl house،the dragon prince,adventure time and kipo age of the wonderbeast for example and compare it to gravity falls.

Unlike GF they didn't reduce love interests as stereotypical,they didn't made a bigger deal about crushes than it needs to be,didn't fell for tropes and take time,for instance if you think about it lumity and dipacifica are basically alike except lumity took time,develop,didn't came out of nowhere in one episode and didn't fell for "I hate you but now I love you despite the major differences" cliché trope.

By the way,the whole age gap excuse for Wendy rejecting Dipper is stupidly lame because lets be honest when a 2/5 year age gape ever stopped anyone?!(certainly didn't stopped kataang,gideon from dating mabel and my parents) if she instead said because of dipper being underage or simply just ANYTHING other than age gape then I would get behind it and also Am I the only one who found incredibly hypocrite how much the series trashed Dipper's feelings for Wendy using the excuse of "it's imposible, he has no future with her because she's 2-3 years older than him", but then the same series supported Mabel's crazy crushes that she honestly had no future either? I mean, is the series and the narrative seriously making watchers and fans believe that Mabel had more future with a bunch of gnomes, a zombie, a vampire, a psycho child(who is 3 years younger), a merman, a puppeteer creep(who is in his 20s!), a cloned boy band(who are in their 20s AGAIN biologically but technically only months old!), any stranger she stalked within her radar each week, and a dollar bill guy, than Dipper with Wendy? Like, she has MORE future with any of those crazy creatures than Dipper has with Wendy, a girl she is very close to and who is only 2 and a half years older? or the fact that Wendy dated a guy with tattoos who is probably 3 years older than her?!

Honestly, I find ironic that the series ditched Dipper's relationship with Wendy because, according to the narrative, it wouldn't matter or last in the long run only for a 2-3 year old gap, but then goes to support even crazier crushes that are changed in a week, because looking through it, out of all the crushes we've seen the kids have, the one who actually can have a future is the one that the series constantly ditches and mocks at.

Before any missunderstooding of what I tried to say: I'm not saying Mabel's crushes didn't end up backfiring, of course they did, it was obvious that would happen sooner or later. What I'm trying to say is that in most episodes they put Mabel's random crushes above Dipper's crush over Wendy with the excuse of "Dipper having no chances nor future with Wendy", as if Mabel had ANY future or chances with any of those crushes at all or as if any of those crushes were any more reallistic than Dipper's crush over Wendy. The thing is, even if Mabel's crushes ended up falling appart, in the end, Mabel got to give it a try with her crushes at the cost of Dipper sacrificing his time with Wendy, therefore pushing Mabel's crushes above Dipper's.

That is what I'm criticizing here: the fact that the narrative puts Mabel's crushes constantly over Dipper's crush using the "they have no future or chances" excuse while also pointedly ignoring that Mabel's crushes had even less chances and future than Dipper's. In fact, Dipper's crush with Wendy has more future than Mabel's, because the only obstacle in here is just a 2 and a half year old gap that in a couple of years won't matter at all, so if these two end up having feelings to each other in the future, it can totally work out.

7-Mabel's bad writting:now now I don't hate Mabel(the only characters in GF that I genuienly hate are Robbie and Pacifica's parents) and I oppose the idea that Mabel should be completely miserable like a CERTAIN AU,but there is no denying that her character suffers lack of change,all her antics is played for laughs only,unlike other characters she never face her consequences and she learns the same repeative lesson and yet never learns(I'm aware of Lost Legends but thats a comic not part of the show so it doesn't change this fatal flaw in the show and even if it was an episode it would still be repeative and only be in "words" not "action" Saying admitting is equal to her redeeming herself and completely grow out of it is like saying a smoker only has to say that smocking is bad and it's all done otherwise we have a narration disaster like everything about Star Wars's Sequel Trilogy).

for me the problem isn't that she caused Weirdmaggedon, is that, after what she accidentally caused through clear bad actions, she absolutely didn't care about it and did nothing to solve it until she got what she wanted. THAT is what makes her responsible for it. You're not to blame for being lied and tricked, but if once you do reallize what you did wrong you shrug it off and you don't care, then THAT makes you to blame for ignoring your responsabilities. And yes, I know Mabel is 12...but so is Dipper, yet the show doesn't hesitate to force him to be more mature than his two grunkles combined, but Mabel gets spared for being the funny immature one and be nothing more than a manic pixie stereotype(hence why this days characters which follow this trope either subverted or written diffrently than their predecessors like Jinx,Molly,Luz and Marcy), when both of them are co-protagonists.

[bangtan-gal]

Unseen

Hwang Hyujin x Fem!Reader gang!au powers!au Warnings: implied smut, swearing, attempted murder (kind of??), major angst i’m really sorry oops, dubious consent, excessive drinking, theres a lot of backstabbing in this, y/ns character is very questionable, dfhdohfdihfsh Word count: 10.3k once again im really sorry, this is kind of dark and sad and oopsies? And although I’m pretty sure people know this, I’m just going to put a disclaimer that this is not how I see any of these members. The characters created in this were just for the sake of the plotline. Thank you!

The hum of the bar sounded far away as you shifted the white powder into thin lines. Your friends crowded around you, swaying in excitement as they waited for you to finish your assault on the drugs. Once you did, you stepped back, allowing them to sniff it up like a bunch of dogs. Laughter and cheers broke out as someone finished first and you clapped along with them. Puppy dog stares were thrown your way as the coke completely disappeared and you pulled another bag out with a roll of your eyes. 

A smirk pulled over your lips as another round of applause consumed the place. You stepped away, letting your friends decide how they distributed the drugs. With a sigh you slid into the booth, taking a sip from your water bottle. The feeling of a thousand eyes watching you made you feel itchy, but you forced yourself to remain cool as you kept your interest on your friends’ actions. That was the biggest problem of being your father’s daughter: the constant attention, the judging, the silent whispers when you passed by. As stupid as it sounded, these people viewed you as if you were a god of some sort. It made no sense considering that you had nothing to do with the business and you never would. You had zero interest in your father’s business, but it was just the fact that your father was so respected that had people watching every little thing you do. 

And you knew what they said whenever they say you. ‘Is she really his daughter?’ ‘How could someone so smart have such a troublemaker as a child?’ ‘Does he know what she does when his back is turned?’ Your father did know what you did and whether he approved or not, he said nothing. It had been made clear ever since you were old enough to understand that the only thing you shared with your father was blood. As long as you smiled and looked pretty for the cameras, you were free to be as stupid as you wanted. And that’s exactly what you did. 

“It must suck to be compared to him all the time.”

You pretended to be surprised as you craned your neck to meet the stranger’s gaze. You’d seen him staring you down earlier and had watched with a sly smirk as he approached as carefully as he could. He tilted his head, his sandy blonde hair—obviously dyed—shifting along his forehead. He reminded you of the pretty boys you always ran into at the gala, from the expensive, but casual dress to the cold, calculating stare that burned in his eyes as he observed you. But like every other time, you decided to bite the hook he threw your way to see what he was attempting to sell. 

“A bit,” you hummed, turning away and sipping your water again. If he wanted to talk, he’d have to sit down in your eyesight. You weren’t going to give him the ego boost of turning to look up at him. You forced your smirk away as he sat down in the booth with you. “But it stopped affecting me a long time ago.”

He nodded, gaze flicking to where your friends argued over the splitting of the drugs. 

“I suppose I can’t relate to that one,” he muttered, “my parents aren’t really the kind to live up to.”

Your gaze remained cool, but the comment took you by surprise. At this point, most of the boys would be trying to convince you that both of you were in the same boat: overbearing parents, hating the rich life, miserable with their lives. Your eyes unintentionally narrowed, wondering what kind of game he was going to play at. 

Maybe he’s not playing a game. 

You brushed aside that thought. Not once in your life had you been approached by someone who didn’t have an ulterior motive. Their belief was that someone like you could get them anything. It wasn’t exactly a lie, you probably could, but their main goal was your father and little did they know that your father would never give you anything. His number one rule was that you had to get everything on your own. He built his company from the ground up, now it’s your turn. 

This boy just had a different strategy than the others. 

“I doubt you rebel to gain your father’s attention. Actually, it probably doesn’t have anything to do with him, right? This is all for your own sake.”

This time, you failed to hide your surprise. Your lips parted as you side-eyed, setting your water bottle down. He wasn’t even paying attention to you, he was just staring at the people who kept glimpsing over in your direction. You looked over at them too, eyebrows furrowing until they looked away with a sheepish gulp. You turned back to the boy, eyebrows raised.

“Got any more assumptions you’d like to make about me?” You asked. He chuckled and shook his head. 

“Well then, I suppose I should get out of your hair now,” he huffed, standing up. You watched as he sauntered away, back towards the bar. You bit your lip and then with a sigh, you stood up and hurried after him.

“Hey—look, I’m sorry about being cold, it’s not everyday a nice person approaches you in a club after you’ve just given your friends a bunch of coke. I’d like to talk a bit more…” you trailed off, uncertain of what exactly you were doing. You were never like this. “But let’s do that outside, yeah? It’s kind of loud in here.”

He grinned at you and then as corny as it was, offered you his arm. Your elbow linked with his, a sarcastic smile pulling at your lips as the two of you left the club. The cool night air was a relief as it brushed against your bare arms and you breathed it in. The crisp taste was a big step up from the disgusting smell of sweat, alcohol, and the bitter scent of drugs. The two of you walked down the sidewalk for a while, not saying anything to one another. 

“You know, if we’re being honest here: I didn’t know who you were until just a few moments ago. The people I was sitting next to were talking crap about you, but it just seemed like they didn’t know you at all and I wondered how they could be so mean to someone they didn’t even know,” he muttered, “so that’s why I talked ot you. I supposed I… felt bad I guess.”

You tilted your head, a small smile pulling on your lips. Then you ducked your head, face starting to heat up.

“Well… thanks. I guess you’ll need a proper introduction then; I’m Y/N,” you murmured, shaking his hand. 

“Hyunjin.”

The two of you kept walking. You didn’t realize it at first, but it seemed you were moving towards you apartment a few blocks away. Truth be told, you didn’t know what you were doing. This wasn’t exactly who you were: you didn’t just start making friends with outsiders, you stayed in your tight friend circle, using it as a protective shield. But you couldn’t deny that you were willing to let this guy take you to bed, for whatever reason. 

“Why do you let them treat you that way?” He asked. “The people that judge you. You’re not so bad, why let people believe that?” You stopped walking, staring at the ground in front of you. There were a few people who could see past your front of not caring, but they never asked you if you were okay truly on the inside. They never asked why. Although, you never asked yourself ‘why’ either and you weren’t sure you had an answer.

“Why?” You repeated, looking up at him. Then you shrugged. “I wish”—you coughed—“I wish I knew why.” 

Something flashed across his face, but it was too fast for you to be able to read it. He tucked his hands into his pockets, a melancholy smile on his face. 

“So, did you have any plans of dragging me out here or we just going to walk until we run into a wall?” He asked, successfully taking your mind off of your inner struggles. Then you shrugged, brushing against him. 

“Well, my apartment is right around the corner, I’m sure we could talk more there.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”

You lead him back to your apartment, swiftly unlocking the door and stepping into the place. You were glad you had decided to clean your place on a whim. When you turned around to ask if he wanted anything to drink, you found him directly behind you. His lips crashed against yours and you gasped into the kiss, your hands clutching at the front of his jacket. He pulled back, dark eyes searching your face.

“I hope this is what you meant when you said talk more,” he mumbled, laughing slightly. You chuckled, wrapping your legs around his waist when he hoisted you up. 

 ➻➻➻➻➻ 

Your phone wouldn’t stop buzzing. A loud groan fell from your lips as you rolled over, sleepily searching for it on the nightstand. Your fingers gripped it and you opened it, eyes blearily squinting at it. There were a bunch of texts from your friends, asking where you were. There were two texts from your mom, wishing you goodnight and you smiled at that. 

You shut off your phone and set it down, but when you tried to shut your eyes, they kept fluttering open from the light peeking past your curtains. And it didn’t help that it was freezing cold. Your arm flopped across the bed as you tried to grab your blankets, only to realize somebody else was completely burrito-ed in them. With a gasp, you sat up, pressing a hand to your head. 

“Ah, fuck,” you huffed. You didn’t even drink last night, but you must’ve been so tired because your memories were struggling to sort themselves out. He approached you, you shooed him away, but then decided against it and now he’s in your bed… stealing your blankets and completely naked. “Wow.”

You stared at him for a few seconds before deciding to just let him sleep and then you’d carefully nudge him out the door once he woke up. You pulled a sweatshirt and shorts on, stumbling on sore legs to the kitchen. It was embarrassing; your legs were all wobbly and there was a trail of clothing leading out of your bedroom. In silence, you made yourself cereal and sat down on the floor, spooning it half-mindedly into your mouth. Due to your lack of trust for people, you weren’t much of a ‘one-nightstand girl,’ but you decided to break it just because of some pretty, poetic-sounding boy? A boy with a suspicious purple, gradient tattoo of a tiger. 

“Do you always sit on the floor when you’re eating?”

Milk sloshed everywhere as your spoon accidentally dropped into the bowl. You glanced up mid-chew, staring at the boy. He was on the other side of the island, so all you saw was his bare upper-half; and it made you wonder if he had any pants on. His hair was a mess and his under eyes were puffy. 

“I didn’t have the energy to walk back to the table,” you commented. Your body shook as you stood up and the clang of you placing the bowl on the counter rang through the kitchen. 

Thankfully, he had pants on.

He shifted nervously, his gaze studying the clean, white interior. 

“I-I should probably leave,” he stuttered. You nodded slowly, watching as he looked around for his shirt.

“So was all that smooth talking last night just to get into my pants so you could go back to your buddies and brag about it?” You queried. He froze, staring at you. You crossed your arms.

“No, I—”

“That tattoo, that’s a gang symbol right? The big one that resides in the Deep City? Go you, you can go back and laugh about how stupid I must be to sleep with some guy after knowing him for ten minutes!”

He take a deep breath, eyes closing for a moment.

“I was supposed to kill you Y/N.”

For a split second, it felt like you couldn’t hear anything. Your ears started ringing and your heart just stopped. He had a million chances last night: you didn’t exactly keep a physical or mental guard up around him last night. You fell asleep in the same bed as him. Yet, you were still alive. Your mouth went dry.

“Th-then why didn’t you?” You whispered, eyes wide as you stared at nothing in particular. You couldn’t find it in you to look at him.

“Because the reasoning behind it was stupid, especially considering just how… how human you are,” he explained, “I guess it’s just the people I live around and the one’s I’ve interacted with always seem so inhumane that I forgot there’s people out there who aren’t stepping on anybody that gets in their way.” 

You could’ve died last night. 

Hyunjin approached you slowly, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“You were my mission and I couldn’t finish it,” he said, his hand slowly sliding down your arm and then letting it go. “But I fear that I may have put you in more danger than if I just killed you.”

You looked up quickly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He laughed, but it was high-pitched and shaky. 

“Chan is going to be pissed, that’s what it means. The point of killing you was sending a point to your father, but with nothing happening, he’ll continue to just go through with what he was doing.”

You watched as Hyunjin started pacing, his brow creasing and lips turning down. You were glad that you were still alive, but part of you was really starting to feel bad for him. Maybe it’d be better if he did kill you. This Chan guy must be fucking terrifying.

“What exactly is it that my father is doing?” You asked slowly in a low voice. 

“Your father has been getting in contact with gangs throughout District 9 and has been gradually cutting off the lower class from the trading cites. His business has become as successful as it has today because we gave him his start-up sum and we agreed to back him up as long as he followed the rules we set. Unfortunately by doing what he’s doing he’s broken those rules and we decided to send him a warning, which h—”

He was cut off by the obnoxious ringing of a phone. Hyunjin stiffened, pulling his cell from his pocket and staring at the device. Teeth dug into his bottom lip as he looked up at you. 

“Look Y/N, you should be dead. As far as my gang knows, you are dead, got it? I need you to stay low and not attract attention to yourself until I can think up some solution. I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can.” And with that, Hyunjin answered the phone, muttered a ‘Hi Chan!’ and then raced out of your apartment. You watched him leave, heart hammering. But the fast pace of your heart wasn’t from fear—a smile was pulling over your lips as you remembered all the crap your father used to spew about building from the ground up. All these years you’d been forced to believe your father was some kind of god, but he was just as human as everyone else: a human who had gotten himself in quite a mess.

You gave yourself an hour to get ready before you slid into your car and raced towards your father’s work. Around this time he’d probably be enjoying a salad in his office, reading through the newspaper, and probably muttering to himself about what he would be doing if he wasn’t stuck in his office. Your palms grew sweaty as you pulled into a staff parking spot and made your way into the building, waving at the receptionist as you passed by to the elevator. You stared back at yourself in the doors as they closed, thinking through what you’re going to say. 

Your chin stayed high as you marched down the hallway towards your father’s office. The door was cracked open and as you peeked in, you were slightly pleased to see that you were right. You swung the door open, letting it loudly bang against the door stopper before you fully stepped into the large space. He looked up, both eyebrows raised as you strutted towards the desk, plopping yourself down in the seat. Your father chewed his salad slowly, fork hanging halfway between his mouth and the container. He set down the fork and swallowed, wiping his mouth.

“What brings you here Y/N? I thought you’d still be bed around this time, nursing a hang over,” he grumbled. You scoffed, crossing your arms and leaning back in the seat. 

“Don’t act like you know me so well; ‘cause if you did, you’d know I don’t drink,” you muttered, “and I came here to talk about business. I mean, why would I visit you in the dainty little work place if it wasn’t to talk about something work-related?” 

Your father looked more disappointed than the time you came in to tell him you crashed your new car. He didn’t prompt you as to what you came to talk about, instead he went back to eating his stupid leaves. A grinding noise filled your head as you pressed your teeth together and out of defiance, you threw your legs onto the desk. He didn’t even flinch. 

“I heard you’ve been talking to some gangs—what are you planning? Going to start some trouble?” You snapped. That caught your father’s attention, although you had to have a trained eye to notice it. He only paused his chewing for a second, one of his eyebrows ticking upwards slightly and his nostrils flaring. You bit your lip to hold back a smirk. “Are you trying to use them to get out of whatever agreement you’re stuck in? Maybe try to get info out of them?”

You paused, tilting your head, but your father refused to grace you with a reply. 

“I think it’s funny that you’re doing that, considering how you made an agreement with that one gang—Miroh—isn’t it? They’re the ones who invested in your company and they can probably topple everything you’ve created with just a bat of an eyelash, but you still have the guts to go against them? Sometimes I really have to wonder if we’re actually related,” you hummed, looking down at your nails.

“How do you know all of this?” His voice was dry as he asked the question. You looked up, feigning surprise.

“Oh so now you want to talk?”

“Y/N, tell me how you know all this? Who told you all this?” He snarled, tossing your feet off the desk. You refused to let yourself flinch, keeping your gaze cool as you stared him down. You leaned forward, elbows resting on your knees.

“Do you really want to know, father? Do you want to know how they were planning to kill me in order to get to you? And how I so willingly let one into my apartment; and not just my apartment, but my bed and well, m—”

He cut you off by pounding on his desk. “You’re lying—if they wanted you dead, you’d never see the light of day.”

“You don’t seem too upset by the idea of me getting slaughtered by one of your friends.”

You couldn’t help but smile, seeing just how ticked off your father was. It may have been childish, but getting under his skin was one of the few things that brought joy to you. 

“It’s true, but the one he sent wimped out for whatever reason. Told me to ‘lay low’ as to not attract Chan’s attention. He also told me about what you’ve been doing: so is it true? Are you drabbling with other gangs? What are you getting into; drugs, sex-trafficking, using them to kill people who get in your way? What about cutting off those who can’t pay for the luxuries you bring to this district? Why would you do that? You’ve always hosted a fair business so that everyone would have a chance to get up on their feet and survive; why decide to stop helping those in need now?” You kept firing the questions, watching as his eyes got darker and darker. He took a deep breath, eyes closing for a millisecond, before he opened them again to stare you down. 

 “At the end of the day, Y/N, this is my business and it’s my decision what I do with it. I don’t understand why you care so sud—”

“Because I’m not going to be killed because someone wants to soil your name. I don’t even owe you that much.”

Silence followed after that. It was a truly amazing sight. You had never seen your father look so stumped by something you’d said before. He’d always kept the same, blank, uncaring face on whenever you would talk. But now he sat in front of you, mouth hanging slightly open. You had more to say—a lot more actually—but feeling like you just had the last word was a pretty good feeling; so you stood up, gave your father a tight-lipped smile, and then left the office. 

 ➻➻➻➻➻   

A week later and you found yourself stuck in your parent’s home, eating a pint of ice cream all by yourself. You had been arrogant to believe you’d make your father stop was whatever he was doing with the half-assed speech you gave him. He continued with whatever business he had with a few of the gangs throughout District 9 and to keep you safe from Miroh, he demanded you come home and hide behind the tall walls and many bodyguards of this place.

“You know your father doesn’t like you eating in the living room, Miss Y/N,” Hattie, the butler, murmured as he stepped into the room. You took another large spoonful of the ice cream.

“Yeah? Well tell him I don’t like my life being threatened because of his dumbass actions.”

You didn’t even like vanilla ice cream, but it was the only sweet thing you could find in the hellhole. 

Hattie cleared his throat, “well, you are expected to be ready by six tonight for your father’s banquet. This isn’t something you can ditch.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but he tutted at you and motioned you upstairs. With a loud groan, you stood up and dragged yourself upstairs to take a shower. Nearly an hour later, you stepped out and made your way to your room. A long dress was draped across your bed, a sticky note attached to the top. It was a note from your mom, saying you looked good in black with a little smiley face. No matter how much you hated your father’s little events, you couldn’t go against your mother’s wishes. Making her happy was one thing you could properly commit yourself to. 

You took your time getting ready, not bothering to pay attention to the time. The dress highlighted your body where you needed it and the black silk did look good on you. You curled your hair at the ends and kept the makeup application light. You stared yourself down in the mirror for a few seconds, wondering how tonight would go. There would be cameras and interviews and all you had to do the whole time was keep a smile on your face and pretend like you were your father’s number one supporter. You turned as the door opened and sighed when Hattie stepped in.

“Your car is waiting,” he murmured. You grumbled a thanks and grabbed a pair of white heels and followed him downstairs to the car. Neither of your parents were there, instead there were three bodyguards seated in the car. Your expression fell as you slid into the passenger’s seat, eyeing the bulky trio in the back. 

“You guys are going to look terrible in pictures,” you grumbled. 

The ride there was painfully tense and quiet. The chauffer wished you luck as he dropped you off and you thanked him for the ride before walking into the hall. It was already almost full, businessmen and women conversing and milling through the place. You wandered through, eyes searching the place desperately for your parents. You spotted your mother quickly and hurried towards her. She smiled at you, offering you the second flute of champagne that she held. 

“Well it seems I was right, you look stunning in that dress,” she murmured, smiling at you over the glass, “of course, you always look beautiful.”

“Thanks, m—”

“Obviously you got it from me!” She flipped her hair. Then she patted you on the shoulder and slid away, smiling and welcoming the guests. You stood there, clutching the flute in your hands, watching as people moved around you. You faltered as your gaze settled on a tall and lean figure dressed in all white, with an oddly familiar mop of blonde hair. As if sensing your stare, the boy turned around, eyes widening when he saw you there. At first, you thought it was surprise, but instead, horror was painted across his face. As quickly as he could he pushed through the throng towards you.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, sounding breathless once he was in front of you. You snorted.

“This is my father’s banquet, did you just expect me to stay at home with a bowl of cereal?” You snapped. Hyunjin glanced around, his hand wrapping around your bicep.

“Ok I get that, but the problem is that you’re supposed to be lying low,” he hissed. You frowned, eyeing the sea of people, starting to question what or who Hyunjin was scared of. Then you paused, breath hitching slightly.

“What are you doing here? Where're your friends?” You whispered, unconsciously pressing closer to him. “Please don’t tell me—”

His expression said it all. You cursed under your breath, worrying where your mother was.

“Chan… still believes you’re dead,” he muttered, “but since your father hasn’t changed at all… he decided to take matters into his own hands.”

“And what exactly does that entail?” You asked. It was then that you realized Hyunjin was slowly starting to usher you through the crowd, pushing you towards the doors. “Hey, wa—” “Hyunjin!” 

The boy stiffened and you did too, head jerking up as two boys dressed in similar suits appeared. One had light brown hair while the other had black. The brown-haired one’s gaze shifted from Hyunjin to you and from just the stare, you felt dead. Part of you wished Hyunjin had killed you because the look of pure, uncontrolled rage really had you fighting the urge to pee. His gaze shifted back to the blonde.

“Why is she still alive?” 

Hyunjin awkwardly laughed, “uhhh… surprise?”

Both of their expressions showed that they were definitely not impressed by this surprise.

“That’s why nothing changed, dammit,” the black-haired one huffed, silver eyes flashing as he looked towards you. You looked down, not liking the energy either boys were giving off. Was this your execution? If it was you hoped it was quick and you prayed they didn’t chop your head off. You wanted to be buried as one piece—rest in peace, not pieces. 

“Chan, come on, I know we’ve done some really radical things in the past, but… she’s an innocent human. Why should we be dragging her into this?” Hyunjin pleaded. 

“Yeah!” You piped up, “my dad doesn’t even like me… he’d probably just continue anyway…”

You trailed off, lips pursing as the one you assumed was Chan stared you down. 

“Is everything okay over here?” One of your bodyguards walked over, expression calm as he surveyed the three. This was just getting better. Chan eyed the bodyguard, then looked around at the people around you. Some had started to watch. He cleared his throat.

“I apologize for the mess.”

The bodyguard frowned. But before you could stay around to figure out what he was planning, Hyunjin grabbed your hand and dragged you out behind him. He carelessly shoved people out his way and burst through the doors. You sprinted behind him, just barely managing to keep up with your high heels on. 

Then you just stopped running. You tried to keep going, but your body was no longer listening to you. Hyunjin turned around, face paling once he saw your face. Exhaustion started to pour into you and keeping your eyes open became a chore. Hyunjin cursed and started physically dragging you. You proved to be much heavier than he anticipated.

“Minho, come on, get the fuck out of her! You and I both know this is completely wrong,” he growled, pulling on your arms.

“Chan ordered it Hyunjin, it’s pretty simple,” your mouth moved, but the voice that came out of you was different. It was deeper and more husky. “Now not only will she die, but I fear that you won’t see another day.”

“And what will killing her do?” He snapped back, pulling more desperately on you, “her father has no regard for her. He’d grieve for maybe a day, but then go back to what he was doing.”

“You and I both know that her death is more for political reasons than anything else.”

You didn’t like talking about your death as if this wasn’t your body. 

The blonde paused and then met your stare.

“You recover pretty fast from any damage your host takes, right? But I doubt you do from any damage your actual body does.”

You wish you knew what the living fuck was going on. Hyunjin disappeared before your eyes and without your consent, your body turned around, gaze searching the area. And then you gasped and there was a sharp pain in your head. You slumped onto your knees, pressing your fingers to your temple. It felt like you had just come up for air after being underwater for a long time. Hyunjin appeared again and he scooped you up with ease, sprinting away. 

 ➻➻➻➻➻ 

“Why can’t I go back to my apartment or my father’s?” You huffed, curling tighter into the blanket as Hyunjin paced the room. He frowned at you.

“Because those are the first two places they’d look,” he grumbled.

You rolled your eyes.

“You know, I find it funny that you suddenly have decided to hide with me and ‘protect me’ once your life has also been threatened,” you griped. He stopped pacing, turning to you with a furrow of his eyebrows. His eyes glimmered and then he snorted, soft laughs following the noise. 

“‘Once my life has also been threatened’? My life was threatened the second I decided to keep your ass alive so don’t pull that shit on me. I was keeping you safe by not interacting with you anymore. How would I explain to Chan why I would be missing for a few hours every day? It’s not like I can just flat out tell him that I’m visiting the chick I was supposed to kill!” He snapped. He shook his head, pinching the bridge out his nose. “God, if I knew you would such a fucking nuisance, I would’ve snapped your neck without batting an eye.” You opened your mouth, but closed it, deciding not to poke at him any longer. You didn’t know what or who exactly he was, but the energy that vibrated off him let you know that you weren’t just playing with fire. Hyunjin’s pacing started up again and you let out a sigh, burying yourself deeper into the blanket. He hadn’t explained where you were, just saying that it would be a safe place until Chan found a different solution. According to Hyunjin, Chan was not one to waste time and was probably already had another plan of action. He said that they might try looking for you for a while, but eventually they’d lose interest and would stop. 

The place you were staying at was pretty simple. Almost everything was white: the walls, the floor, the counters, the couch, and anything that wasn’t white was a light gray. The simplicity was enough to drive you insane. The lack of excitement in the place made you feel trapped, despite it being said that white makes things seem bigger. You wanted to get the hell out of here as soon as possible.

And the only way to do that was by working willingly with Hyunjin. 

“Okay, but let’s say that Chan still demands both of our heads after he’s come up with another solution… is there a way to talk him down?” You asked, “or maybe there’s a way to get out of here soon and convince him to do something else?” Hyunjin shrugged, slouching down into the armchair. “Unfortunately, Chan’s really stubborn, even when he knows it’s not necessary. He might not try to kill you once this whole thing has blown over… but I doubt I’ll be as lucky.”

You didn’t want to feel any compassion for him—he tried to kill you just a week ago and probably could’ve cut you just seconds ago—but somehow this whole time, you’d missed just how much he was risking. He was still young now and the gang had risen up five years ago—he’d grown up with those boys and now he was losing that family… for you. He was losing his life for a complete stranger. He didn’t deserve any of it. 

“W-what’s your exact plan then?” 

“Make sure you’re safe and then I suppose I’ll leave and find somewhere else to live,” he muttered, shrugging. You shook your head. 

“You can’t just go alone—”

“Y/N, I truly do appreciate your concern, but you should be worrying for yourself. With you no longer being an option, Chan will come up with other ideas… that won’t hurt you, but I fear they’ll do something much worse... “ he trailed off, glancing at the clock on the wall. He cleared his throat. “It’s getting late, we should probably get to bed and we’ll talk more in the morning.”

You wanted to talk more, there was so many more questions that you had, but the exhaustion in his face stopped you. The two of you bid each other goodnight and then you walked to your room, carefully shutting the door behind you. You laid in bed silently for a while, trying and failing to fall asleep. You were wide awake, worry worming its way through your stomach. There was no way you were going to get any shut eye tonight. You sat up, clicking on the lamp beside your bed and then jumped.

“What the living fu—”

The light-brown haired man from before stood at the end of your bed—the own you assumed was Chan. 

“I’m not actually here in case you were wondering how I got in here,” he stated, “I’m actually just a hallucination your mind is creating instead of talking to a different voice inside your head. A member of mine has telepathy, if you’re curious.”

Your mouth opened and closed, but you found you had no words. Chan studied the place and then let out a sigh.

“It’s unfortunate you don’t know where you are or else we could hunt you down and get this over with.”

You blinked, trying to find something to say. 

“Why are you here?” You squeaked out. 

He let out another audible sigh.

“Y/N, I’m not a cruel man. Are my actions always right? No. I’ve always taken it upon myself to make sure that everyone here lives a fairly safe life and mostly behave under a stronger power. You were probably a young teen around the time that the JYP district cut us off and let us fall into a brutal world full of crime and poverty, so you probably remember that, right? I started Miroh because people should never live the way we lived and my goal was to create a power to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. 

“Your mother’s business idea offered a solution that we desperately needed. JYP cut us off because the docks were never safe, but by one simple form of transportation, they would happily start offering us goods again. So we offered them money. Now your parents are taking the money and power they have and using it so that gangs can help them rid of people that they no longer want to feed or help. I apologize that my first idea was to kill you and yes, I heard what you said earlier, but it seems you don’t know the truth about the business,” he stated. His head tilted, eyes glinting. “It is true, Y/N, that if your father was head of the company, killing you wouldn’t do a single thing. But, since it’s your mother who sits back and pulls every string and is the reason for every action that has happened in the company, your death would have worked to our advantage. Your mother was the… ‘all powerful mastermind’ while your father was just the face of the company. She was the one giving commands while pretending to be the perfect trophy wife and mother.”

“You’re lying,” you breathed out. Chan snorted. As the two of you stared at one another, you saw something that was more than a hungry predator. It was a strategist, a puppet master, that wouldn’t stop at anything to get what he wanted. It didn’t matter if that was true or not, because he already had you in his clutches. 

“Y/N, I’m here to make a deal and since I think you’re more like both your mother and your father than you think… I have a feeling you’ll accept it.”

You snorted, “you wish.”

He raised an eyebrow, a smirk forming on his lips.

“I don’t wish on shooting stars Y/N, that’s too risky for me.”

 ➻➻➻➻➻ 

  Several days passed in that apartment, just you and Hyunjin spending every single hour of the day together. The air between you two was tense, with Hyunjin becoming more stressed every day. You found him planning what he was going to do after this whole thing blew over and reading over his terribly made notes, you felt really bad for what you’d gotten him into. He didn’t seem to have much idea of what to do, except that he had to leave District 9 and just start over somewhere else. It didn’t matter how many times you asked him if he was okay; he just continued to claim that it was time for him to grow up and move on.  

 “So… you’re really going to go?” You asked, sitting down across from him. He glanced up from the stack of papers in front of him and shrugged. 

“Well, it’s either that or possible death,” he huffed. There was a joking lilt to his tone, but it wasn’t a good enough cover up. 

“Alone?” He searched your face.

“I mean… yeah. The only person I could really bring along with me is… you and I wouldn’t do that to you if it means you could live happily and safely here,” he explained, looking back down at his papers. “Plus, I doubt you’d want to come anyways.”

“I’ve complained a lot Hyunjin, but I do enjoy your company. You have a big heart and we’re all human, right? No one deserves to be alone.”

He laughed, but gave no response. Hyunjin continued to flip through the papers, writing down notes and pausing every now and then to mumble stuff under his breath. You leaned across the table, straining to see what he was looking at. 

Papers and maps of the other districts stared back at you. JYP was crossed out with big black letters spelling out “not an option.” SM district had question marks on it, YG had possibility written on it, and district V was also crossed out. 

“Why isn’t JYP an option?” You understand V—it was right next to 9 and wasn’t walled in and overly protected. Chan could storm in there anytime and easily find him.

“Chan has connections in JYP—one of our members used to live there,” he sighed, “and honestly, I’m still not comfortable with how close it is. At least there’s a whole district between here and the other capitols.” You nodded, although truth be told you didn’t know much about the other districts besides 9 and JYP. You had never been educated on the places beyond the border and had been raised to believe that this district was the best possible place for you to live. Even now you didn’t know much: you didn’t know how big the overall place was, how far away the other districts were, and if they were “known” for certain things. Hyunjin seemed to realize this quickly.

“We were both part of the generation that was raised to believe that leaving this district would do nothing for us,” he said, a melancholic and nostalgic tone taking over his voice. He seemed to zone out for a while and you wondered what he was remembering. It must’ve been childhood memories from elementary and middle school: during the time they’d been very adamant about that statement. “I guess the only difference between us was that you had to continue through highschool and I dropped out and learned from those around me.”

You nodded and stared at him, wondering if the two of you had ever been in the same school together. 

“You know that teaching wasn’t what the District 9 government wanted. JYP enforced that upon us: they were desperate to keep us in so that nobody would have any idea of leaving to go there. They were worried about over population or being overrun by ‘lesser, untrained beings.’ They were trying to brainwash us.”

“Is that another reason why JYP isn’t an option?” 

Hyunjin shrugged and continued writing down notes on the paper. You watched him, fidgeting in your seat. What would happen after all of this is over? Would you actually be safe or would you have to go with Hyunjin? “You know, I wasn’t lying when I said I’d go with you,” you stated. He didn’t look up, but you still saw the way his lips rose. You got up and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water. Neither option felt safer: staying here and hoping for the best or following Hyunjin into an unknown plan. He was smart and seemed to know what he was doing, but you also had to take into consideration your other options. 

“Y/N, I’m grateful for you offer.”

You blinked, surfacing from your thoughts. Hyunjin reached over you, grabbing a glass out of the cabinet. Your body shivered as he brushed against you and the smell of a light cologne infiltrated your senses. 

“The only problem is that I’ve vowed to keep you safe and I’m not even sure if I’ll be safe beyond here,” he whispered. He didn’t move from his position—his arm rested on the counter beside you, glass in hand, chest just inches away from your back. You were total strangers and yet he cared more about your well being than both of your parents ever had. 

“You didn’t even know me,” you murmured back. 

His other hand fell on your lower waist. 

“You don’t have to know someone to know they don’t deserve to die because of their family’s actions…” he trailed off and you felt him lean closer. His warmth seeped into you. “Plus, I have to admit, I was pretty stunned by how beautiful you looked that night.”

You laughed, trying to brush it off as corny, but your body gave you away as your cheeks started to burn. 

“Really?” You mused, “are you talking about in the bar or when you had me pinned beneath you on my bed?”

Hyunjin chuckled, his chin resting on your shoulder and arms completely wrapping around your body. You turned your head slightly, meeting his dark stare. His fingers were soft as they reached up to brush across your jawline and gripped your chin. His lips hit yours and he carefully pushed against you. It was a completely different feeling from the last time, he was less persistent. It was sweet and delicate and had you feeling like you were waltzing through the sky. He pulled back, eyeing you through half-closed eyelids. A dopey grin covered his face.

“Honestly, I’ve been waiting to do that again.”

You paused and stared at him for a few seconds.

“You risked your life for me, despite me being a complete stranger,” you said softly. Hyunjin’s face changed, his lips starting to fall. “And you continue to do it… and we don’t even know each other.”

You turned around to fully face him.

“At least let me get to know you a bit so I’ll feel less guilty about everything you’re losing for me.”

A silent agreement passed between the two of you and you walked into the living room, both of you sitting down on the couch, facing one another. Hyunjin took a deep breath and then relaxed. He tilted his head, a lopsided smile taking over his face.

“Why did you join Miroh?”

He sighed, “going right in aren’t we”—he licked his lips—“I wanted a family. A real one. And when I met Chan I was offered the chance to live a life with other boys my age and grow in a close knit circle. I had friends that I could rely on for everything.”

Your lips pursed and you looked down at your lap. “And you gave that up for the sake of my life.”

“Y/N… I’ve killed innocent people before and I’ve always hated it. I guess you… were more like my chance to escape. To prove to myself that I wasn’t a completely horrible person,” he murmured. You nodded, trying and wishing you could understand the situation he was in. But despite growing up under similar conditions and probably only metres away from one another, the two of you had two completely lives. It was something you could probably never completely fathom.

“What’s your favorite color?” You asked, going light.

Hyunjin grinned. “You really like asking hard questions, don’t you? I like black and white.”

“I said the singular form,” you huffed. He shrugged and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

“Let me ask you a question.”

“Okay.”

“Would you actually come with me if I asked?” You faltered and looked away from his stare. You studied the curtains behind him and pursed your lips. You had offered to go with him, but the question was if you could. Could you leave behind this life you’d grown accustomed to? Did you technically owe it to him because this was happening because he saved your life? There wasn’t much here for you: you parents would never give you the company, you didn’t have any “real” friends, and sometimes you felt lost here. But what was to say somewhere else would be anything different? Although…

Although maybe being with someone who truly cared for you would help. Help you feel like you belong, like you have somewhere to call home. 

“I-I think it would be hard… but I think if you asked and really meant it, I would,” you whispered in reply. Hyunjin nodded and paused for a moment.

“I don’t want to be alone Y/N and I want you to come, but I’m not going to ask you to,” he stated, “I have a feeling that taking you away would do more damage.”

You didn’t want to dwell on that; you didn’t want to get caught up in some fantasy in your head and then get your heart broken. 

“Where are we?” “I can’t tell you, it could risk Chan finding us.”

“Right. Sorry,” you mumbled.

“No need to apologize,” he sighed and then glanced at the clock, “I’m going to head to the store, okay? Stay put.”

He got up and you let him leave. You had learned quickly that Hyunjin had a way of locking the door on the outside and there was no way to leave while he was gone. You let your eyes shut as you fell back against the couch, wondering what you were supposed to do. 

“Couldn’t have tried any harder than that?” You jumped, eyes flying open. Chan stood across from you, arms crossed. You opened your mouth, ready to point out that it wasn’t like you could pry the answer straight out of his head. 

“I have to say, I’m slightly concerned right now. It’s really hard to tell if you’ll continue with our agreement or if you’re going to fall for him and his carefully worded poems,” he snipped. He looked around, examining the place. “Y/N, I can tell that you’re starting to like him—actually, you already like him, but your feelings are quickly growing stronger. And I know that right now, you’re not happy with your parents lies, but you and I both know that going with my idea is a much better thought than following Hyunjin into the unknown.”

“You don’t have faith in him? He grew up with you, didn’t he? He must have inherited some of your wit and intelligence or whatever,” you snuffed, “he seems to have a good idea of what he’ll do.”

“What he’ll do without you. You going along changes plans. He’ll have to decide what is better: your safety or his life. I’ve been surprised how dedicated he’s been to you up to this point, but how do you that someday he isn’t going to wake up and realize that all this shit he’s doing for you isn’t worth it? He might just ditch you in some district you’re unfamiliar with and leave you to fend for yourself.”

You grit your teeth. “I don’t believe Hyunjin would do that.” “The only thing you know about that boy is his age, his favorite color, the taste of his lips, and how he feels inside you,” Chan hissed as he walked towards you. He crouched down in front of you. “Hyunjin was trained to survive and you aren’t weak Y/N, but he’ll realize quickly that his best chance of survival will be without you. Trust me. All of my boys have been trained to even ditch one another if it means they’ll see another sunrise.”

You blinked, leaning away from him even though he couldn’t hurt you. Your heart was starting to race. You didn’t like the position you were in.

“I’ve been inside your mind Y/N, I’ve seen your deepest desires and darkest secrets. I know you wish to belong somewhere, to feel like you have purpose in something. With this deal, I’m giving you that chance. So are you going to take it or risk everything you’ve ever known on a boy that has a million secrets that he’ll never tell?”

“I—” you cut yourself off as you heard the door click. You didn’t realize how much time had passed. “I’ll get the information you need to you by tomorrow.”

Morning came too fast. Your head was pounding as you sat up in bed. You groaned, but despite how much pressure was in your head and how sore your body was, you had to get this over with. . You left the room and made your way into the kitchen, staring at the empty wine-glasses and two wine bottles on the table. Of all the things you’d done in your life, you’d never felt this dirty. 

“One of my parents' apartments in Glow Town.”

“I can’t believe I did this just for that,” you whispered to yourself. You pulled your sweatshirt tighter around yourself, you were really fighting the urge to throw up. As you looked up, a boy appeared in front of you. The same one from that night—Minho you believed. 

“Well,” he hummed, “let’s go.”

He held out a hand and you didn’t ask a single question and just took it. Your stomach folded in on itself as you disappeared. You jumped into a new place—a fancy office. You turned around as you inspected the place and stared at Chan. He sat at the desk, spinning a pen in his hand, dark eyes concentrated on you. Sympathy burned in them. 

“Y/N I kn—”

“Can I please go shower?” You asked, your voice raspy. “I-I don’t feel the best and I think a shower would help.”

Chan frowned and glanced at Minho. Then he nodded. Minho lead you out of the office, being careful to not touch you. The place was nice: simple just like the other apartment, but it had more elegant touches. You noticed a few other boys as you passed through the halls, but none of them said anything. 

“Everything that you need is in there.” He opened a door and you mumbled a ‘thank you’ before stepping inside and closing the door behind you. You wasted no time turning on the shower and letting the steam fill up the bathroom. You stepped in and then slid onto the tile bottom, bringing your knees up to your chest. Your teeth dug into your lip and you pinched your eyes shut. 

Your cries were soft as you buried your face into your knees, body melting. It didn’t feel right to be sitting there, knowing you were safe while Hyunjin’s life was on the line. You gasped, covering your mouth and wished that you hadn’t taken the deal. You should’ve let Hyunjin leave safely. Your parents had lied to you your whole life and although your mother understood you, she barely took the time to talk to you and hangout with you. Would it have hurt that much to let them die? Hyunjin had only cared for you in the short time that you knew him. The least you owed him was a chance at freedom, but you took that away too. 

“I fucked up, I’m so sorry,” you mumbled to the air. You felt disgusting. You scrubbed your whole body down, not stopping until every inch of you was bright red. There was nothing you could do to get rid of what you did. It would hang onto you for the rest of you life. 

There was a knock on the door and someone told you to hurry up. So you gave yourself another minute to calm down and then stepped out of the shower. There was a stack of cleanly folded clothes on the counter and you quickly put them on. You brushed through your hair with your fingers and then stared at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were red and puffy and parts of your arms were still red from your vicious scrub down. Dark circles sat under your eyes and there were teeth marks in your lip from where you angrily chewed on them. Then you bent down and searched through your jacket, finding the necklace you’d taken from Hyunjin. You stared at it and then tucked it in your pocket. 

You opened the door and found Minho waiting for you. He didn’t make any comment on the fact you’d been obviously crying. He led you back to Chan’s office, but this time he let you go in alone. You did and stood nervously in front of the table.

“Please sit.” “What are you going to do to him?” You rushed out. Chan tilted his head.

“What do you think? I’ve already sent a team out to get him,” he hummed. You swallowed and played with the end of your shirt.

“You’re really going to kill him?” 

“He went against my orders and betrayed the gang, he deserves much worse. I’m showing him mercy by doing that,” he said.

“But that’s really being thrown on my shoulders,” you deadpanned. Your hands curled into fists. This wasn’t what you wanted. You couldn’t take this.

“Y/N. you suspected what would happen, but you still gave me a location. We all have to deal with backlash throughout our lives. What you did was for the best.” He said it like it was so simple: as if someone wasn’t going to die. “Now, I put you in charge of your parent’s company. You don’t think it, especially now, but you’re a good person Y/N. You’re the perfect person to run this type of company—you want to help those in need, I saw that inside you. You just have to move on and not let this drag you down. I don’t want a repeat of this situation in the future.”

You slowly sat down in the chair, hands gripping the armrests. 

“Your parents already understand the situation. They know what happens if they resist. You’ll be announced as the new CEO in two days and in those days I expect you to go home and rest. Try to sort this out and not be such a mess that day.” He looked up at you and sighed. You probably looked like a charity case. “I don’t want you all teary-eyed up on stage. That won’t work in your favor at all. You need the general public to love you.”

“Yeah,” you huffed, “I understand.”

“Now,” he said, clapping his hands together and standing up. “I have a driver downstairs for you, so let’s get you going.”

Chan escorted you downstairs. The millions of stairs made for an awkwardly long walk. Neither one of you said a word, the only sound being your footsteps echoing loudly in the staircase. You stepped outside and you shielded your eyes from the sunlight. You were about to duck into the car when you were distracted by a commotion. A group of boys were getting out of a car. Chan tried to push you into the car, but you resisted, watching in confusion. Then you recognized Hyunjin, struggling against two of the boys. Your mouth fell open and you didn’t realize that you shouted. You stepped away from the car, watching as the three boys starting moving him towards the building entrance. Hyunjin glanced around and met your stare. For a second, you saw this look of relief in his eyes and something warm, but in a flash in disappeared. There was the startled look of realization and then the hurt and anger that followed.

“Screw you!” He snapped. You stepped back as he momentarily escaped his hold, lunging for both you and Chan. He spit on the ground, his eyes darting between the two of you. But his gaze still softened when it landed on you and you felt bad that it made you feel a bit better. Hyunjin paused and licked his lips. His voice cracked. “I really can’t fucking believe you.”

A shaky breath escaped you as the boys managed to get him under control and he was dragged away. This was your fault. You covered your mouth and quickly crawled into the car. Chan tried to bid you goodbye, but you shut the door before he could. You reached for the necklace in your pocket and stared at it as you were driven away. You pressed it to your chest.

“I won’t let myself forget you,” you murmured under your breath.

 ➻➻➻➻➻ 

A year later

  Your arms ached as you trekked through the grass. It was slightly muddy, due to the rain just hours before. The place was empty, not a single human in sight. Only gravestones with the occasional soggy bouquet of flowers in front of them. It was slightly cold, a light breeze pushing through your clothes. The sun wasn’t anywhere to be seen, leaving you with just the depressingly, dark clouds. 

You still resented Chan and hated the monthly meetings he forced you to go through, but part of you had to owe him this. Him being willing enough to have a small funeral for the boy and give him a gravestone. He hadn’t wanted to, but you had argued for this. Given it your all. 

A year had passed since that day. You still regretted everything and sometimes it became too much to bare But somehow, you forced your way through it and now you had a reason to keep going. Just a small reason, but it was good enough. 

You paused, staring at the stone for a while. It was a simple gray stone with no fancy carvings. It only held his name on it: no dates and no quote. There were no flowers or candles, just the head alone. You sighed and carefully crouched down, placing the bouquet down.

“That’s your daddy,” you whispered softly to the bundle in your arms. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, but you smiled. You looked down at your daughter. She was awake, dark eyes staring up at you. “You should always be proud to be his daughter, Noe… he was the best person ever.”

You paused and took a second to wipe away a stray tear. 

“He would’ve made an amazing father.”

You brought her up to your chest and kissed her head. You stood up and then looked at the sky. She was your one reason to keep going. The only thing left of him that you had. You wouldn’t let yourself forget him.

And you hoped that his memory lived on with her.

ldufoehdfdlfhdofh i cried

[an-avid-reader]

The Hate U Give - Angie Thomas

my rating: 5/5 stars

On the night of a party gone wrong in Garden Heights, or “the hood”, Starr and her childhood best friend, Khalil, drive away only to be stopped by a white police officer. Khalil, unarmed, gets shot right in front of Starr’s eyes. Alas, Starr’s worlds—Garden Heights and Williamson, a predominantly white prep school—collide as word of Khalil’s death spreads and she is the only witness. Will Starr be able to bring justice to Khalil via riot and protests, or will he be remembered as a drug dealer and a thug?

"Funny how it works with white kids though. It's dope to be black until it's hard to be black"

Link to Goodreads || Spoiler-free review

A few things to check out:

Dear White People (Netflix)

When They See Us (Netflix)

Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race (Book)

A list of places to donate to / one YT video if you’re unable to donate 

Here’s a post that is much more comprehensive

let me know if any of the links don’t work, I will update them :)

There’s a reason why this book has quite a few awards on the front—this book covers what some may consider a “taboo” topic aka racism, but it’s an issue. I’m writing this review slightly earlier than before I’m posting it, but right now the current news is about George Floyd’s death, which is arguably more brutal than what happened in this book, but the fact that some police officers still think race has something to do with one’s intentions is outrageous and disgusting. Even in Canada, there have been instances of racism across history (spoiler: Canada isn’t a ‘saint nation’, even though the population is very diverse). 

For these reasons, I think this book, while it is triggering, I think it should be fit into the curriculum for students to read so that they may be educated on racism, and how it can literally kill others, as well as to try and dismantle the systematic racism that is imposed on us from a young age. I can never sit here and tell you that I can experience what Starr went through (or what any POC—black or otherwise—has ever been through), I can only educate myself and emphasize with what’s been said/done to you—please call me out if I’ve said something that may be offensive and feel free to correct me if I’ve said anything wrong.

Alright now on with the book review! This book is so raw and powerful, Thomas does a great job of describing the scenes and the emotions Starr goes through during each scene. We get to see how she feels about dating a white boy while being black herself, how her neighbourhood is beautiful despite it being described as the hood, we also get to see how Starr’s demeanor completely changes while she’s at school vs when she’s visiting her family. While Thomas’ writing may be simple, she does a great job of capturing those moments and the emotions tied within the scene.

As we get to see Starr becoming a witness and taking legal action, I wasn’t sure where the story was headed. Would Khalil get justice and would the cop go to jail? How would Starr’s mental health be affected? Will her family be okay? (Don’t you just love it when there’s so much more conflict in the story that needs to be resolved and yet there are only 2 chapters left) Etc. etc. The thing about The Hate U Give is that there are multiple story lines, which help to drive the story forwards. Those plotlines didn’t feel out of place or forced—everything seemed to progress at a reasonable pace. 

I feel like one of the key parts of this story are the characters and their dynamics to the story. The most obvious being between Starr and her family. Although Starr has her own secrets that she keeps from her dad (*cough cough* Chris *cough cough*), I feel like they still have a strong bond, especially as the story went on and her dad, Maverick, stood behind Starr, even when things went south. (I could also 100% relate to Starr bickering with her brothers—even her half-brother). Then there’s Chris, which I kinda feel weird about him...which I feel like it’s a spoiler so I’ll talk about it under the cut. Overall, I’m glad that while he doesn’t understand what Starr has been through, he doesn’t judge her—he listens to her story and he also stays by Starr’s side at all times. I appreciate that Thomas didn’t put too much focus on the romance, otherwise I think it would’ve detracted from the main message. Finally, there are Starr friends. Even though we only got to know Khalil for a bit at the beginning, I like that Starr’s friendship with him was sprinkled throughout the story, even if it was in subtle ways. You could tell that, while their friendship may have fallen apart, Starr really cared for him and he was at the forefront of her mind. We also get to see Maya and Haliey’s friendship with Starr...and I can’t talk much about that without spoilers :/ let’s just say...it was interesting…

While I can’t exactly relate to Starr on an emotional/traumatic/life experience level, I love that we are both Harry Potter fans and she runs a Tumblr (which idk why but I’m always taken aback when books have Tumblrs?? Yet here we are). I appreciate that she tries to see the best in people, until they prove her wrong (or give her a reason to not like them). I think Starr is a strong role model in the sense that she stands up for herself and is determined to get justice, although she’s not cocky about it. It’s quite the opposite, she doubts herself—I just remember that there were so many parts where she blamed herself for not recalling every single detail of the incident or not putting emphasis on the type of person Khalil was to avoid him getting stereotyped. Starr also questioned her relationship with Chris, albeit she seemed a bit naive at some points. Because of Starr’s strong personality and her core values, the message of The Hate U Give is so much stronger, hence why I feel like everyone should read this novel.

Finally, I learned a lot from this novel. Regardless of the fact that this is a fictional book, it is very much based on the realities of Black people and the hardships they must endure on a daily basis. To be honest, I feel so dumb for not even realizing that the title spells out THUG and runs parallel with Tupac’s meaning of THUG LIFE. Mind you, now when I look at the cover, it’s all I see. I also didn’t realize that Black kids and teens are taught how to act around the police—all to be avoided to get arrested, shot, or killed—which is frankly, messed up. Thomas also takes the time to address the names she used, intentionally to give another layer of the book, which I feel that it is based on reality. I can definitely see why this book has received so many awards—and if this book were implemented in schools, it would allow the discussion on racism to be opened and it would also allow kids to see that not all authors are white, old men (looking at you, Shakespeare, which tbh the only good play I read was Macbeth).

I wanted to thank you for reading my review; if you’ve read this book, I’d love to know your thoughts. Below the cut, I have a spoiler section that I wanted to include (which I might add in future reviews, idk though). 

Please stay safe and healthy,

~ Cassandra / an-avid-reader

THE REMAINDER OF THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

Okay, I’m not going to lie, but I thought that no one knew about Chris; didn’t Starr mention within the first few chapters that she can’t introduce him to her family because she’s afraid of what they’ll say/judge her for dating a white boy? But then, it turns out it’s just her dad that doesn’t know about him??? Idk if my memory is really that bad or if it’s such a slim detail (maybe it actually is an inconsistency o.O). But anyways, I love how Maverick was just playing with him (and making it clear that Chris would be in big trouble if he hurt Starr). I’m also not sure if he has a fetish for Black women (which Starr also pointed that out)—which I don’t know how to feel about that. I know some people have a thing for people of colour (Asians are commonly a fetish too, for example) but then some guys also have a thing for super short girls? Um yeah. I’ll probably leave it at that.

I’m not sure if it was just me, but I deadass thought Seven was going to be a gangbanger. He was sooooo suspicious anytime King was mentioned (which I get King is with Seven’s biological mom, but still I can’t be the only one who was suspicious, right?). I have to give him props though for putting his sisters’ needs before his own and for also listening to Iesha’s point of view. This man doesn’t give on people easily, and that’s a nice change. 

The last thing I wanted to include in this spoiler section is Haliey. I just— wtf man. She perfectly embodies the issue and idk she gave me such Karen vibes. It’s so frustrating that she just accepted the newspaper’s article story at face value—I don’t even think she even took the time to listen to the other point of view. I’m so glad that Starr punched her in the face, even though that resulted in her getting in trouble. And it’s not even towards just Starr that she was racist! When Maya opened up about Haliey’s comments, I was pretty infuriated. I think Haliey’s comments came from a place of ignorance or a lack of education, but it just bothered me that she just brushed it off. Smh “it was just a joke” or “get over it” *rolls eyes* Just apologize, Haliey, and educate yourself, please. Actually, maybe she could take lessons from Mr. Warren, their english teacher because he was lowkey a G. I was pleased to see he was a teacher (who are often seen as role models) that actually gave a crap about Starr and what she was going through. I guess we just need to be more attentive to what people have to say and be more empathetic when they’re hurt.

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Charmed 02x17 SPOILERS!!!!!

Okay yall havent had time to do one of these in a while. But I had time to do a rewatch and so I am ready.

Non-spoilery part of this . . . I give the episode a 9/10. The writing (on its own and I'll get into it later) was better than many episodes this season so far. I have mentioned it multiple times this season that episodes 1 to 3 of this season had a different style and scope and (imo) writing pace than the rest of the season except for some of the most recent episodes. While I did have some favorite episodes later on everything pretty much after three didnt feel as grand as far as style went. These last few episodes the writing and style just got turned up. Which is actually great and super frustrating. The writers seem to have the same problem they had last season that is proper plot development/management. We shouldnt be getting all the interesting stuff at the beginning dragging everything out and making no plot progression, then theoughing in all the interesting stuff at the end to get us to stick around. We should have gotten the more plot development throughout the season not just big info bombs ever so often with little devoplement everywhere else.

Here is the truth and I hate it, we had more meaningful screen time and character development with Mel and Abby this one episode than in the entire season. Which is a no-no in my book. The episode on it's own is solid, interesting, and I argue well written, but it should have happened earlier. The things that were good about this episode should have been implemented this entire season. I mean not show will have an A + episode everytime. There will be filler. But it has honestly felt like the writers didnt know what they were doing with certain characters development until last minute. I don't know if that's true, it is just how it has come off to me. So I can understand the frustrations people have felt with this season and its writing. I have them but this episode had me invested and on the edge of my seat. I am excited for more. Which honestly hasnt been the case for many of the episodes this season. I dont mind the last minute overused troupe. I love fanfiction and so I do not easily tire of them, but again pulling it towards the end of the season when many plotlines have been subpar or are least handled in a subpar manner . . .

But on to the spoilers. I am going to go back to the standard likes, dislikes, and episode highlights

1. Abigael character development

Like yall it wasnt much, but like it was more than this entire season so far. I still have no idea what they are doing with Abby-and for me personally it is a little too late to salvage the damage-but the development was actually welcomed. It should have happened sooner. The writers need to pick a lane at this point and just reveal what they want us to think about her (you know like they do with plot bombs) because after some of the stuff and little character development some of us have just soured to Abby. I dont actually dislike the character I just am fustrated with the poor development overall. But I mean had they been doing these little moments across the season rather than setting her up in that weird, poorly handled, and now seemingly dropped love shape with her Harry and Macy (they completely didnt need to have her in there they could have introduced julian earlier on rather than put Macy in a relationship with him after she seemed to realize she had feelings for Harry and then it wouldnt have seemed like she was using julian as much).

2. Mel and Abby moments

The plot was interesting, the development of both characters was better. I mean seriously yall Mel admitting her mom wasnt perfect!!! Given the basic Marisol worship mel had last season and the lack so far of acknowledgement that Marisol made mistakes (regarding thier lives and Marisols marriage). Honestly if they had dropped the Abby Harry crap and had more mel and abby or abby Macy (considering I felt mads and poppy had some great on screen chemistry in the beginning and played well off each other even though it was antagonistic after episode 2) moments like these I feel not only would we know the character better but wed have had better plotlines overall.

Although I think Mel is too quick to overlook all of Abby's past behavior . . . She killed innocent witches and wants to be a demon overlord (or wanted, we dont know what she wants now). But Mel recognizing her mother's flaws and being open to th possibility of being wrong (something she has struggles with both seasons and only gets slightly addressed, if it gets addressed, when it happens) I mean I am here for it.

3. Jordan

I think what has been missing this season is the wittiness of last season and also the genuine fluff. I mean Jordan's comment about kissing Aunt Viv. 10 stars clever (true and revealing about inequity in punishment and treatment of men of color when it comes to sexual assult and harrassment) His excitement over magic. I mean in a lot of ways Jordan is what Galvin should have been/tried to be, but the writers can't seem to do relationship drama and good character development at the same time so....

Jordan is the best and I hope the writers dont mess it up.

4. Julian

So I like the reveal, because I think there is still room to wonder what exactly Julian does and doesnt know. What I understood from this episode is that Julian is behind the experiments in that he started them but the the creatures with those healing powers so that he can take those and use them to heal other. My guess is through creating "more" whitelighters or maybe they og thought they'd just figure out how to raise the dead. Julian at his core (so far) wants to help as many people as possible. Does he know that the creatures die in the process? Is he utilitarian and thinks it is justified? Or is aunt Viv the head person of the actual goings on and Julian is far enough removed from all of it he can emotionally detached from that. Like how for some people it is easier to hear about death than it is to witness it. I think most people are like this but I wont generalize.

Will he change his mind or will we see a different more sinister side of Julian. Like I am interested in getting to know more about his character now, because he has sort of been there as a plot prop more than an interesting character with development. Which is on the writers, the actor is killing it.

5. Hacy

Yall dont get me wrong I think after all the bad writing and angst that the writers did for most of this season, to pull a stunt like that basically at the end of the season was soo wrong.

But I feel that on it's own these moments of Macy confronting and admitting her feelings, the confession, and the little moments (like that face caress and holding him when they get him out of the cointainer) were precious.

That's the stuff we needed more of. Instead of the passive aggressiveness. I know some people hate the amnesia troupe but I prefer it to what they did with the abigael kiss and the jealousy love shape stuff.

Dislikes

1. Middle finger to season 1 and Galvin

Like dont get me wrong, emotional issues dont disappear from one moment to the other and some trauma takes years to overcome if it ever is overcome. But like wasnt Macy admitting she was lonely her whole life and it affected her ability to attach to people and recognize when she wanted someone the basic plot of season 1. I mean she straight up says in the last season that she was so concerned about whether someone wanted her that she never considered what she wanted. And then she says she wants Galvin and now she is saying she never realized when she wanted someone

I think a lot of season 1 has in some ways been "redone" this season. I dont like it because we came here from season 1. We recognized it was flawed. But we still invested time into it. I didnt mind a lot of it, in the beginning to be honest (maybe because I felt it was mostly scenery and vibe than actual erasing plot) but particularly in this episode it felt they were basically saying, "let's pretend it never happened" about the whole first season....okay harry.

In some ways I liked the sort of do over of some character types. I like Jordan as the "mortal in the know" more so than Galvin. I just dont think Galvin was well developed and handled last season. They are doing better with Jordan which is good because if they had messed up the writing for him too I would have been casting my "yall coming off as racist again, do better" look. My biggest fear is that they will mess up Jordan especially if they progress his relationship with Maggie. The writers seem unable to write good/healthy relationships and character development and still give good plotlines at the same time.

Episode highlights.

Macy rehearsing her break up with her sisters

Aunt Viv really trying it with Jordan

"Even white men can't do that anymore."

Abby bringing her bags the the house

[gascon-en-exil]

But What If You Want to Come Out on Vers Bottom?: A “Coming Out on Top” Review (Part 1)

A review quoted on this game’s website describes it as “the Citizen Kane of ripped, naked big-dicked dudes in love.” Incredibly narrow superlative notwithstanding, that’s some high praise. Does Coming Out on Top earn it?

(I also solemnly swear not to make a relevant innuendo involving rosebuds, because there’s enough dirty wordplay here without my input.)

It’s been a bit unusual for me to return to CooT, having played it when it first released in late 2014 and then only on and off since then as the game was regularly updated. I believe it’s actually the first proper dating sim I ever played - no, Fire Emblem’s Avatar romances do not count as far as I’m concerned - and it set a very high bar for quality that has unfortunately never quite been surpassed by other (gay) titles in the genre.

This is perhaps all the more remarkable in that the premise here is not the most original thing in the world: Mark Matthews (you can change his name at the start, but I’ll be going with this default masterwork of blandness) has just come out of the closet to his two roommates Penny and Ian at the start of his final semester at university, and the story plays out from there as he meets, dates, and potentially falls in love with a wide assortment of men while also balancing his studies and his relationships with the aforementioned roommates who also double as his friend group. That’s...basically it, and apart from the romance plotlines the rest of the game’s content feels fairly extraneous. Mark can’t flunk out before the end of the story no matter how much you neglect his grades (although his job prospects in the ending will improve if you do work on them), and for the most part whatever money he amasses or friendship bonding moments he has during his free time on the weekends only plays into whether you get friendship endings with Penny and/or Ian. Unlike Chess of Blades survival is usually a given in CooT, and while there are quite a few death endings sprinkled throughout the game’s content almost all of them are played for laughs (and sometimes Steam achievements, because why not).

No, there are three major selling points here independent of the excuse plot. First and perhaps most noticeably, the writing never takes itself too seriously and incorporates everything from silly banter to fourth wall-breaking (refuse to come out at the start of the game, for an early example) to the sort of understated pun work that makes Dream Daddy’s script apparently living off corny dad jokes all the more egregious by comparison. There’s even a fair amount of self-aware meta humor, in a game released several years before the likes of Doki Doki Literature Club! made that par for the course for dating sims.

Then there’s the sheer diversity of options on display in terms of storylines and how certain scenarios play out, including the third point which is, well...the raw, uncensored gay sex. Despite the innuendo of CooT’s title Mark is not a total top, and most of the game’s myriad sex scenes can go down in a variety of different ways depending on what Mark/the player expresses a preference for - including situations involving various types of kinks. There’s also a very limited degree of body customization available; in the options menu there are toggles for Mark and all of his (primary) sexual partners that give you the option to add facial and/or body hair to their portraits and CGs. The hair options aren’t gamebreaking by any means - for Mark it only allows him to switch between twunk and otter, and while there is some diversity in race, age, and body type among his love interests and hookups there’s still a notable number of muscled 20-somethings. Still, I do appreciate that the toggles are there. You’ll notice my own preferences for the guys in my screenshots.

Back to that other kind of variety though. With six primary love interests and numerous divergent paths for each of them - some good, some bad, and some hilariously strange - there’s a ton of content to work through in CooT. The pathing is set up so that you get the opportunity to meet almost all of the love interests before you’re asked to commit to one of their stories, something the game heavily telegraphs so you’ll never feel like you’ve been unknowingly pushed past a point of no return. These introductions are generally on the SFW side, but there are two chances for some rauchy fun even before you commit so let it not be said that this game has strictly enforced monogamy at all times. On that note, there’s also Brofinder.

Penny comically missing the point aside, Brofinder is an in-universe Grindr equivalent. It can be accessed if you decline to pursue any of the love interests, or more conveniently from the main menu independent of the story. Fittingly for the type of app it’s lampooning, Brofinder dates are disconnected vignettes that all, if done correctly, end in some hot NSA action but impact nothing else after you’ve completed them. There are ten of these, all added via progressive updates following the game’s initial release, and taken together they add substantially to the many ways in which Mark can get laid.

I should also mention the secret seventh joke “love interest,” but as that one has become a bit of a minor meme and will probably come up if you Google blindly about this game I’ll leave it at that.

...Yeah. Leaving it right there.

There are some places where the presentation of CooT falters, but nothing on the scale of the dodgy voice acting found in some of the other gay dating sims I’ve discussed - mostly because there is no voice acting. Aside from the CGs and the character portraits the artwork can be rather workmanlike and forgettable, and similarly almost all of the soundtrack I would liken to elevator music which might have inspired one of the Brofinder dates now that I think about it. The supporting cast on the whole also doesn’t get much opportunity to shine aside from Mark’s roommates, because the love interests’ stories are all unrelated to each other and as such the people around them can only be involved in one of the game’s plots. I’m tempted to sum this all up as weak worldbuilding, but let’s be honest here - all this game needs is the suggestion of a generic American university and surrounding town peopled mostly with archetypes (at times comedically memorable ones, granted) to give it sufficient background. Most actual porn gets away with far less than that.

When I did my review of Chess of Blades I was able to discuss each of its love interests in a single follow-up post, but CooT simply has too much going on for that. Therefore this review will have three additional parts: two covering the six primary love interests, and a third going more quickly over the Brofinder dates. At time of writing I don’t think I’m also going to be grading the sex scenes of how realistic they are like I did with CoB, because there are too many of them and nothing sticks out as egregiously as it does in that game. There will however be as much description for them as I can manage; that is the main selling point here, after all.

[keysmashchronicles]

my history in phandom and fandom

I’ve always been an avid reader. If I’d have been born twenty years later than I was and grew up in a time when every kid has tablet or a phone, that need for stories might have been filled by TV or other formats instead, but in my childhood years it was all about books, and visiting the library as often as possible. I often daydreamed about the characters in books the books I read, mostly egocentric thoughts of what it would be like if I were to somehow find myself in the stories I was reading. What would it be like to have them as my friends, to be part of those adventures? Of course, in typical Mary-Sue fashion, it wasn’t the real me that I imagined in those daydreams, but some idealised version that was cleverer and funnier and prettier and of course, someone all the other characters either envied or adored.

As I got older, and we moved beyond the stage of just having one TV in the house, my obsessive nature shifted to include TV shows as well as books. The first show that really caught my imagination was Dawson’s Creek. I loved it, the over-articulate teens with all their angsty problems heightened by their hormones going haywire, going through mental health issues and struggles with sexuality and of course, the classic love triangle. I couldn’t wait to tune in every week and catch up on what was happening in Capeside.

I’m not sure how it happened, but one day I was online on our cranky old computer and stumbled across some Dawson’s Creek fanfiction. I was amazed, and fascinated, and also terrified that someone in my family was going to walk in and catch me reading it. But I read every story on that website, and then started looking for more. I couldn’t believe there were other people out there like me, people who didn’t just watch a TV programme and then forget it about it until the following week.  There were others who thought about the characters in a TV show so much, it was almost like they became real. People who wanted to analyse every aspect of the relationships the characters had on screen, and also take these characters off into plots and stories and worlds that were nothing like what actually happened in the show, imagine them in endless different scenarios and see them experience every kind of emotion and think about how they’d react. People who wanted to write or read over and over again about the same characters because they found more and more to discover about them every time they did.I had found my happy place!

Over the years, the obsession with fanfic remained, but the focus of it shifted.I’d go through a cycle – discover a new fandom, immerse myself in it for maybe a year or two, then slowly lose interest. There would be a period where I wouldn’t read fic for a while, maybe 6 months or a year, and then all of a sudden, a new show would capture my attention and I’d be off and running again.

After my interest in Dawson’s Creek had run it’s course, the show that took its place for me was Buffy. As I recall, I had only watched a few episodes here and there and then a writer I was already reading started to post Buffy fics. I read a couple and realised that there must be much more to this show than I’d thought if it was inspiring such good writing. I think that obsession must have lasted a good 3-4 years, one of the longest I’ve had.  There was just so much good stuff for writers to work with - a whole cast of interesting well-developed characters, the good vs evil narrative, the endless possibilities of spells and demons and alternate universes and origin stories and the threat that the world might end at any moment….the list goes on. And also, there was the smut  - I’d read a fair amount in my previous fandom, but Buffy fics took it to a whole other level (this by the way being a major cause of the confusion I had when trying to work out my own sexuality - how can I be asexual? Have you seen my AO3 history???)

After that came the West Wing, followed by House, followed by the other behemoth of my fandom life, Sherlock. With all of these, although I read a hell of a lot of fic, that was always as far as my involvement in fandom went. I didn’t feel the need to join any fandom communities, in fact I don’t really think I would have known much about where or how to get involved if I’d wanted to. In the early days, the fic I read was on fan-hosted sites, with the aid of webrings to help you discover other authors. Then for a long time it was fanfiction.net, livejournal and finally AO3 where I read most of my fic today.

So how did I get into phanfic? In the aftermath of Sherlock series 4, it felt like my engagement with fic in that fandom came to a bit of a stop – there wasn’t really anywhere much to take the story in terms of canon, and a lot of people felt that the whole Eurus plotline had been kind of a jumping the shark moment. For myself, I’d got to that stage where it felt like there was nothing new under the sun. I was feeling the fatigue that always eventually came when I’d overread a fandom, and no matter how hard I’d try to find something to interest me, nothing seemed to capture my imagination any more.

I left the fic alone for quite a while, turning mostly back to traditionally published media – I dipped a toe back into Sherlock fic on occasion, read a bit of MCU here and there but nothing significant.

Then one evening in June 2019, I was scrolling through Twitter when I decided to check what was trending and saw a name I didn’t recognise – Daniel Howell. I had no idea who he was, but lots of other people were clearly very excited by something he’d done, so I thought I’d have a look and find out why. Usually when this happens, it turns the person is either on a reality TV show or plays sports of some kind,  but on this occasion I saw the words ‘YouTuber’ and ‘coming out video’ and it piqued my interest. The only experience I really had of watching YouTubers was through my step niece, when she’d had an obsession with Miranda Sings and we’d watched a lot of her videos together, including collabs, so I knew a few names but not much beyond that.

I clicked on Dan’s video, fully expecting that like with most random clicks, I’d watch for a minute or two before getting bored and looking for something else to occupy my attention, but that didn’t happen. The video was incredible and I was absolutely transfixed for the whole 45 minutes. I thought it was brilliant - the deeply personal story that was being told, the humour, the well-thought out and confidently delivered arguments – I don’t think I’d ever seen anything like it. As someone who had come to identify as asexual and panromantic but not until they were in their late 30s, and who was (is?) still in a place of trying to understand what that meant in my life, it was also hugely resonant to me on a personal level, helping me to realise the unacknowledged but damaging internalised acephobia and homophobia that I was still carrying with me.

I went to Dan’s channel and watched some of his videos, then was curious about that guy named Phil that he’d mentioned, so I watched some of his videos too. I came across the first PINOF and was completely charmed by it, by their rapport and silly humour and how they clearly felt so comfortable just to muck about and be themselves.

For a while I was happy just going through all the content on their channels. It didn’t really occur to me to look for fic until it was referenced in one of their videos. Up until then, RPF had really not been my thing – I’d seen some fics written about the actors who played characters in my various fandoms and I’d avoided them because it had made me feel uncomfortable about what they’d think if they saw them. I’d also scrolled past a lot of 1D and BTS fic when browsing on AO3 tags and to be honest, had had a pretty snobby opinion about it.

But having heard Dan’s story, and then seen dnp’s obvious connection in their videos, I was curious to see what the fans’ take had been on their relationship, and also to see what was being written about them now that Dan had come out. I looked to see if there was anything about them on AO3 and bam! There it was, my next fic obsession had grabbed hold of me and there wasn’t anything much I could do about it!

Since then, I’ve not only read a ton of fics, but even had a go at writing a few. It’s painful because they never come anywhere near the standard of the fics and writers I really admire. I have the desire to want to write well, but also a complete lack of the patience and dedication it takes to develop the necessary skill. But for the first time I didn’t let that stop me from publishing a few fics as I realised I was really writing for myself, to have an outlet for thoughts and ideas that had been going around in my head, and if anyone happened to read it, that was just a bonus.

Then through reading the Seven Basic Plots, I realised that what I’m more interested in at the moment than learning to write fics myself is to come to a greater understanding of how they work, and what exactly has been fuelling my fic obsession for over 20 years (wow....that was weird to think about! Such a long time!)

So that’s my history in fandom, and in phandom, and explains why reading a book about the nature of stories and their purpose made me immediately think that I wanted to examine those ideas in relation to something I know and love – phanfiction.

the seven basic plots // 1st plot - overcoming the monster

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Oooooookay a bit to unpack here.

First of all let’s get something crystal clear. This is not truly confirmed beyond doubt just yet and sources are conflicted over what this stand off is even about. From what I’ve encountered it’s about Disney and Sony going in 50/50 which was not the arrangement in earlier films (I think Sony got all or the lion’s share, at least on the solo Spidey movies). Other sources say it was just a credit issue.

I’m inclined towards the former.

IF it is true this would mean there will be another unresolved MCU movie subplot, like with Incredible Hulk, but much more substantial. Now the good news about that is that it isn’t something that the MCU in general hinged on. Like the cliffhanger affected Spider-Man and his cast and no one else. I mean arguably Happy and Pepper, but the former was essentially absorbed into the Spider-Man cast and the latter was more than likely retired after Endgame. It will be the SECOND iteration of Spidey on film though to end with an unresolved plotline (Spidey media has a habit of this, remember the end of Spider-Man 1994 or Spec Spidey?).

Allegedly according to this article 2 more Spidey movies were in development with Watts involved with at least one of those. Speculating here but possibly they might’ve been pulling an Infinity War/Endgame thing. That would actually have been a storywise good way to have given weight to the ramifications of Peter’s identity being exposed before it (very likely) would’ve gone back into the bag, and it would’ve allowed a lot of space for a potential Sinister Six storyline. After all if you go by the MCU technically there are 6 Spidey villains around already (Vulture, Scorpion, Shocker, Tinkerer, Mysterio and Chameleon). But you’d need to give Scorpion and Chameleon powers, reintroduce the other guys and let’s be honest they would never use Tinkerer seriously, they’d sub him for another more formidable foe like Doc Ock or Kraven or someone like that.

We do not know the specifics of the original Disney/Sony deal nor what was on the cards for this one, so it’s not impossible (but I’d guess highly likely) that the ending of their relationship also means Marvel wouldn’t get to use other Spider-Man characters in other movies. So that Norman Osborn showing up in a Dark Avengers movie that was very likely on the cards? That’s very unlikely to happen now if the break up is real.

As for my own views...I regard this as at worst a lesser evil.

I’m no fan of the Marc Webb movies and they dealt damage to the brand and to the character on film in general. But the worst thing they did was lead to the Marvel/Sony deal which, whilst technically helping out public opinion on Spider-Man, damaged the integrity of the character and mythos yet more.

I don’t need to go into details for you (just read my Homecoming and Far From Home reviews) but suffice it to say that the MCU adapted Spider-Man in the most insultingly superficial of ways.

MCU Spider-Man looked like comic book Peter Parker, had a costume heavily resembling his, had his powers, lived in Queens, went to a school with ‘Midtown’ in it’s name, had an aunt named May, a love interest called Liz Allan, another love interest nicknamed ‘MJ’, was a member of the Avengers and had a father-son relationship with Iron Man/Tony Stark who gave him a high tech suit.

And with absolutely 0 hyperbole, that is where the similarities end. Even then the similarities are very much in the letter not the spirit. The nature of Peter’s Avengers membership, what it meant to him, how he got it and so on was fundamentally different. The nature of his relationship with Iron Man (which was idiotic in the comics too btw) was fundamentally different. I could go on but you get the picture.

It is a version of Spider-Man is utterly devoid of the substance that defines the character, so utterly missing the point  in fact that he literally could be an original character if you changed those superficial details and lose next to nothing storywise.

I give the Webb movies a lot of shit, and it is not unearned, but although they were problematic Spider-Man movies...at least they WERE Spider-Man movies. Not movies effectively pretending  to be about Spider-Man rather than Iron Man Junior.

Of course this opens up a debate about what is more important, being a respectful adaptation or a just a generally good movie regardless of fealty to the source material.

Frankly that’s a talk for another day.

But what’s most important to my personal enjoyment  of these movies is most definitely the former over the latter.

Don’t get it twisted, I want BOTH. I’ve seen Spider-Man 2002 and Spider-Man 2 too many times to count, whilst I’ve seen Spider-Man 3 maybe 4 times, ASM 2012 maybe 3 times and ASM2 like twice, I wouldn’t even bother to watch it on Netflix.

And I’m not calling any of them perfect adaptations, but Jesus Christ they got more right than the MCU films ever did. At least Raimi and Webb were presenting interpretations of Peter Parker rather than an hybrid abomination of Miles Morales/Robin/Ultimate cartoon Peter Parker/Ultimate Comics Peter Parker/616Peter Parker (in that order).

For the record I REJECT the notion that making a respectful adaptation or a good movie are mutually exclusive. Spider-Man 2002 and Spider-Man 2 were both. Batman Mask of the Phantasm, Batman Begins and the Dark Knight were both. Superman 1978 and Superman II were both. Captain America the First Avenger, Winter Soldier, Civil War and Avengers 2012 were both.

I has been done and it can be done.

My high ball hopes for this is that Sony will look to Lord and Miller’s fine work and take notes.

Low ball hopes, more movies of at least Webb’s quality.

P.S. The fact that Watts was involved with MCU Spidey 3 fills me with dread. If that movie is dead then thank God.

P.P.S. 

[rayroute-clear-saeran-text-sound]

Hello! Could you possibly do a ship for me? I'm a bit of a disaster potato. I love writing, drawing and baking. I'm a a fairy witch and tend to give way too many chances. I'm that person in the friend group who always seems to be running into misfortune, but I get back up and keep going. I am a meme lord and one of my hobbies is collecting Ball Jointed Dolls. I used to cosplay in college but haven't in years because of confidence issues around my weight. I'm nonbinary and pansexual. They/them.

Thank you so much for putting in a lot of care and detail into your description! It helps me out a lot :)

I pair you with Seven!

Seven would love the fact that you are well-versed in meme culture, which is what I feel would first draw him to you. But, as he got to know you better, he could relate to how misfortune seems to follow you.

He admires your ability to keep pushing through whatever challenge is in your way. He probably wants to help you as much as possible, and even if you say you don’t need it, he’ll give you assistance as discreetly as he can, because he knows what it’s like to struggle on your own.

 Because of his interest in cosplaying, he would slowly try and reintroduce you to it, always encouraging you. Obviously he wouldn’t want to pressure you into doing anything you aren’t comfortable with, so if you told him that you didn’t want to cosplay again, he would let it alone; he tries to be as sensitive as possible with your insecurities. 

 It’s Seven’s secret fantasy to go to a convention with you in a couple’s cosplay that would give him the opportunity to cross-dress. He’ll cosplay your favorite characters when you’re sad, and take you out on a date while pretending to be that character to try to make you laugh.

 He honestly is so fascinated with your hobby of collecting Ball Jointed Dolls. He could sit there for hours while you explain it to him, and sometimes he would gift you one out of the blue. He probably comes up with all sorts of weird names for them, as well as strange backstories for each one.

 He knows that you’ve been taken for granted in the past, and about your tendency to forgive past the point of reason. He can’t help himself from getting prickly whenever you talk about those who had taken advantage of your many chances, and would be trying to press for information about them so he could give them a little “gift” through hacking. As for chances with him, he intends to only need one. He also tends to let you know when a person is past the stage of forgiveness, and tries to remind you that people don’t deserve an endless stream of chances. 

 This poor baby just really doesn’t want to see you hurt, because even if he couldn’t protect Saeran, he wants to protect you. Whether that be physical, emotional, or mental protection, he wants to give it all to you.

 You would try to get him to eat other things than just chips and soda by beginning to bake for him, a plan that ended up backfiring since he then became addicted to your treats. You finally put a ban on baking for him unless he would bake with you, which he reluctantly agreed to, and at first he pouted about it but soon found that he was enjoying your hobby too. It wasn’t necessarily the baking in itself he liked, it was more seeing you happy while doing something you love that attracted him to it.

 Let’s be honest, most of your baking sessions would turn into food fights because of the redheaded brat. Or, if you were making cookies, you’d turn your attention on something else for a moment, and the next thing you knew, half of your batter would be gone. The same thing would happen with the frosting for cakes and cupcakes. 

 You would draw a lot of his cosplays for him as gifts, and this cutie would have them all framed or hanging up by his desk where he works. Even if you insisted they were bad, he would vehemently protest that statement. He was putting every single one up damnit, so what if he had no more wall space, he would make it the fucking wallpaper in his room if he had to. Always sends every one of your drawings to the messenger, trying to flex on everyone with his SO’s amazing art. 

 Honestly anything you draw, whether it be animals, landscapes, anime characters, whatever, he would love and ask for. If you wanted to keep it he was okay with that, but he could never get enough of your art.

 You and him would start a habit of writing stories together, because once he found out that it was something you loved to do, he totally cashed in on it. He was always good at coming up with the wacky stories and plotlines, and you would bring the finesse. 

 Whenever he didn’t feel like working but wanted it to look like he was, he would start a Google Doc with you so you could write together. Vanderwood would catch him sometimes, and boy would there be hell to pay but to the hacker it was so worth it.

 Convinces you to write a novel with him, and once you two finish it he tries to get Jumin to publish it, but he won’t. He surprises you for a special day by hacking a publishing company, and gets one copy professionally made for you. Having a boyfriend who is rich and can hack with no sense of morality has its perks.

 Half of your communication over text would be through memes. Expect lots of cat memes, along with some cryptic ones, and an absolute overload of love memes from him. Memes are sent to you daily.

 Always tries to text you good morning and good night when he’s not on a mission, even if he hasn’t slept yet. Sometimes, you’ll receive a good night text in the middle of the afternoon, because when he hasn’t slept in a day or so he tends to lose all concept of time. 

Sends you the dumbest pickup lines to make you laugh, and if that doesn’t work he sends you love meme Tik Toks. He does this to the point where it becomes borderline obnoxious, but still knows when to stop before you get irritated for real.

 If he’s been staring at code and hacking for too long, he’ll text you his apologies for not being able to talk to you much, but half the time when this happens it’s in binary, not even on purpose, it’s just that he’s been typing it for probably 40-some hours straight.

"C’mon, Talyn.~” Seven called to you from his couch, where he was currently spawled out. “Please?” You rolled your eyes from the kitchen, disappointed but not surprised to find only chips and soda, although there were baking ingredients courtesy of yourself. 

“Not unless you get your ass up here and help, dipshit.” You couldn’t keep yourself from laughing as you already began to drag out ingredients for basic chocolate chip cookies, which Seven enjoyed. You heard your troublemaking boyfriend groan dramatically from his spot on the couch, but he got up nonetheless. 

“You know I don’t like to cook.” He muttered as he trudged to join you in the kitchen. 

“It’s not cooking, it’s baking. There’s a difference.” You tapped him lightly on the nose with a spoon. He began to help you pour the dry ingredients together into a large bowl, eyes flitting between his task and the bag of chocolate chips.

“Have you ever considered that I’m just not good at it?” He asked, fighting the smile that tugged at his lips.

“I thought God7 was good at everything.” You teased as you mixed the wet ingredients in with the dry. 

“Talyn, why must you wound me in this way?” He heaved a forceful sigh, and although his face looked melancholy, his eyes betrayed his true happiness in the moment with you. “I just want sugar now, baking takes forever.” You chuckled at his impatience. His ADHD was partially the cause of his reluctance to spend time on a task that isn’t exactly quick. 

“You’re fine.” You took note of his eyes meandering their way over to the chocolate chips once more. “Don’t you dare-”

“Modern problems require modern solutions.” He cackled in laughter as he grabbed the bag of chocolate chips before you could stop him, sprinting off to his room. “Catch me if you can!” He called over his shoulder, popping a handful of the sweet chocolate into his mouth. 

“No cookies for you!” You sighed as you heard the door to his room close, deciding what to do with the unfinished batter. 

[365daysoftododeku]

31st May 2019

Author: Liz

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love in spring time

The small town of Jefferson was bustling this time of day. Those who worked nine-to-five were getting lunch and rushing down the sidewalk back to their jobs. Others were picking up their young children from daycare, or having a meal with longtime friends. There were even some teenagers who were obviously skipping classes and roaming the town in search of something to do that would be far more interesting than classwork.

Todoroki Shouto sits on a bench outside his favorite book store, reading a story that had just come in that morning. The clerk recognized Shouto, and offered him to try it out for free. Incredibly thankful, Todoroki took the book and his cup of coffee and decided to read outside since the day was so beautiful.

Shouto sighs in content and returns to the words on the page, scanning for the spot he left off on. Just as he finds it, the presence of another body sits beside him. A flowery scent wafts through the air, and Todoroki peeks out of the corner of his eye to study the person beside him. He’s pleasantly surprised to find a green-haired male, with a wide wobbly grin and freckles covering his cheeks. He’s looking at his lap and Shouto follows that line of vision to see what he may be looking at.

Todoroki holds in a short gasp as he notices the same book he was reading, open on this stranger’s lap.

As if he could feel eyes on him, the newcomer looks up at his bench buddy, finding the handsome man staring at the book he recently purchased. Shouto looks up in that moment, and the two make eye contact. Todoroki can’t hold his breath this time, as he stares into vibrant green eyes that hold a sparkle in the corner.

They’re silent for a couple moments, just staring at each other. The trance is finally broken when a group of young teenagers walk by, talking obnoxiously loud. The stranger jumps at their voices, causing Shouto to flush and look away. But then, the other male speaks up.

“Love in Spring Rain?” Shouto jumps slightly at the velvet voice to his left. He looks up at the stranger, then down at his book, then back up again, before silently nodding. A bright smile etches across the other’s face, and Todoroki finds himself falling in love with that expression alone. “Me too!” He holds up the book in his lap, showing the familiar cover.

Shouto smiles shyly and nods, before returning to his book, though he can’t focus on the words in front of him.

“My name is Izuku,” The stranger’s voice reaches Shouto’s ears again, and he looks up to find a hand stretched out to shake. Hesitantly, Todoroki reaches out his own hand and grasps the other. So warm.

“Shouto,” His voice comes out rough, this being the first time he’s spoken all day. The man, Izuku, grins so wide his eyes scrunch close. Both hands drop to their laps.

“It’s nice to meet you, Shouto!” Izuku looks back down at his book, using his right index finger to scan the pages, looking for the spot he left off on, before letting out a nearly silent “ahh” and continues reading.

But Shouto doesn’t want to stop talking to the attractive man.

“Um,” He starts. Izuku jerks, not expecting the other to speak up. “Oh, sorry.” Shouto flushes, embarrassed for scaring the other.

“Haha, it’s okay!” Izuku beams. “What’s up?”

“I just, uh, wanted to ask what you thought of the book so far?” Shouto gnaws at his bottom lip, fingers twitching in anticipation. Jeez, I haven’t felt this nervous in years.

“Oh!” Izuku picks up the book, holding it in front of his face. “I’m enjoying it quite a bit! The descriptions of the weather are amazing. And the characters are easy to relate to, but also their own person, ya know? And the plotline is really good, even if it is a bit cheesy, haha. This author really knows what they’re doing, I wonder if they have more books…” Izuku trails off, looking over at Shouto again. “I-I’m so sorry, I ramble sometimes.” Izuku blushes, rubbing a hand at the back of his neck.

“No, no,” Shouto assures him. “It’s okay, I kind of like hearing you talk,” Todoroki’s eyes widen in surprise at his own words. Izuku giggles anxiously.

“Really?” He asks, and Shouto only nods, afraid of what else he may spew without his own consent. “Well, what do you think?”

The two go back and forth for another hour, books forgotten, as they talk about different novels and authors. They seem to inch closer to each other as their bodies turn inward. At one point, Izuku gets so excited about a story he recently read, his whole body bounces in excitement, and his knee lifts to rest on the bench, where Shouto’s already was. Their legs touch, and Shouto has to focus really hard on Izuku’s words, and ignore the warmth radiating off the other.

Just as Shouto is working up the courage to ask for Izuku’s number, he feels a raindrop hit his nose. He blinks wildily, and Izuku giggles, but abruptly stops when he feels the same wetness. In sync, the two look up just in time for several drops to fall. Shouto gasps, while Izuku squeals, and the two quickly close their books and stand, searching around for cover.

The green-haired man is the first to notice a small awning in front of a cafe, and grabs Todoroki’s hand. “C’mon, over here.” Shouto doesn’t have time to blush before he’s pulled towards the shelter. Izuku chuckles loudly, shaking his hair free of water, promptly hitting Shouto in the face, wetting it even more.

Todoroki sputters and squeezes his eyes shut, then hears Izuku gasp. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” His laughs still haven’t subsided as Izuku reaches out to wipe the splashes from under Shouto’s eyes.

The shy man sucks in a harsh breathe when he opens his eyes, finding Izuku incredibly close, face cradled in soft palms. Green eyes widen in shock, scanning all over Todoroki’s face. And although they are the same height, Shouto feels small under the intense gaze, face heating up furiously.

“You, uh,” Izuku starts, flitting between Shouto’s eyes. “You have really nice eyes,” A red tint graces Izuku’s face, and it’s the first time today Todoroki has seen the man even remotely flustered.

“Th-Thanks,” Todoroki stutters. “But I mean, they’re k-kinda weird. Ya know, being two different colors and all, heh.” Shouto laughs nervously, trying to look down, but finding it difficult because of Izuku’s hold.

“I don’t think they’re weird,” Izuku mumbles, and Shouto looks back with honest surprise. “I think they’re incredibly beautiful and unique.” Izuku’s face flushes even more, but he doesn’t stop. “It’s like there are two distinctly different parts of you, and your eyes tell it’s story. And although I don’t know what those stories are, I want to find out.” Izuku’s green eyes pour deeply into Shouto’s heterochromic ones, before widening in realization. “I-I’m -” Izuku starts apologizing.

“That’s really sweet,” Shouto interrupts. “No one’s ever spoken to me like that, let alone describe my eyes to me.” He gives a shy smile, which Izuku returns. It’s silent for a moment before Shouto speaks again. “You really do ramble unknowingly, don’t you?” Izuku chuckles, dropping his hands from Todoroki’s face, who struggles to hold back a pout.

“Yeah, I’ve always had issues with it. No filter, I guess.” Izuku runs a hand through wet, green curls.

“I don’t mind that,” Shouto says before thinking, which he seems to be doing a lot of today. Izuku laughs.

“Well, that’s good I guess.” His flush has decreased, but it’s still there, and Todoroki can’t help but love the way Izuku’s freckles look across red cheeks. “Maybe I could take you out? Ya know, to keep rambling about nonsense?” Shouto blinks twice, letting those words sink in. Apparently, he waits a moment too long, because Izuku starts mumbling again. “O-Or not, we don’t have to. I-I know I can get pretty annoying. I just keep talking to fill a void I guess, and I don’t really know how to stop, haha. So, we definitely don’t have to, I don’t want to steer you away or anyth-”

“I’d love to.” Shouto interrupts Izuku’s crisis with a grin. The greenette looks up surprised, hand frozen behind his neck. “I’d love to go out with you.” His smile stays wide, though the blush from his cheeks flow down his neck. Izuku beams brightly.

“Perfect,” Izuku whispers.

The rain continues to fall around them, pit pattering against the concrete. They don’t really notice as their eyes meet and everything around them fades away. Books gripped tightly in nervous hands, they can’t help but think the novel is telling their story before they even knew it, for their love blooms from spring rain.

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Would you like your work to be featured in the 365 Days of TodoDeku Project? Apply here! (≧∇≦)/

[silenthillmutual]

pride month - day 12 - fairytale 

He hates writing assignments like this. “Re-write a fairytale” - what is the point, exactly? Didn’t that fall under some sort of plagiarism? 

“You’re thinking about it t...too hard,” Toko tells him. She’s been leaning over his shoulder, frowning at the page. “You don’t even need t-to write an outline, really.”

That’s easy for her to say. She’s tested out of every basic literature and writing class, including the one that was supposed to be mandatory for all freshmen. “I’m not good at creative writing,” he says.

He could be wrong, but he thinks she’s smirking. “That’s obvious.”

“You don’t need to be rude.” He can’t seem to keep the snap out of his voice when he’s embarrassed by things, and he practically lays across the table to keep her from looking at his papers. It doesn’t deter her; she rolls her eyes and grabs his rubric,readjusting her glasses. 

He guesses he’s getting help, whether he asks for it or not. “This could...could be anything,” she says, chewing on her thumb. “All you really need t...to do is change one aspect of a fairytale you- you already know.”

He taps his eraser against the table, agitated. This is ridiculous. He shouldn’t need help, he’s a writing tutor.

“I was thinking about changing Sleeping Beauty.” 

“Into what?” 

He makes little circles on the table with the eraser. “Giving her narcolepsy?”

Toko’s eyes look up at the ceiling, teeth still on her nail. “That’s a good start.” 

--

It doesn’t feel like a good start anymore. He hadn’t really taken into account how much this one small factor would change the entire plotline, and now he has to give a character agency who’s never had it before. At least I can take out that horrible incest subplot, he thinks to himself.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been working on it, but he guesses too long from the way Mondo is staring at him. He hasn’t been speaking to me, has he? 

“I’m sorry,” he starts, “Were you -?”

“No!” his voice is so loud. Is he shouting? Why is he shouting? Mondo looks away too quickly, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks pink, but it could just be the lighting. “Just, yanno, we been here like an hour. Don’t ya think you should take a break and eat or somethin’?” 

...right. They’re in the dining hall. That is what he should be doing. And he can think about it while he eats. Brainstorming. Maybe that’s why he can’t put words onto paper - he hasn’t brainstormed it properly yet! So -

Fingers snap right in front of his face and he panics, smacking the hand away. 

It’s Mondo. Again. And he looks...upset. Not angry. More...sad. “Kyoudai,” he says. “You’re doin’ it again.”

--

One thirty in the morning is not the best time to be writing out a short story by hand, but Makoto’s still up and he needs to get this finished. Until he gets it done, even as a rough draft, he can’t sleep. Although if you told him in high school that he’d be pulling all-nighters in college, he would have been offended. But then, there are a lot of things he’s done in college he wouldn’t have thought he’d be doing when he was in high school. And this short story he’s writing might be getting a little too personal. 

Sleeping Beauty’s now a boy. Or trying to be a become a boy. And his father won’t let him cut his hair or bind his chest. What he really wants to be is a knight who can defend himself. And the Prince that’s supposed to save Sleeping Beauty has a problem where he occasionally turns into a dragon and has no control over it. 

He might have referred to the Prince as Mondo more than once. 

He sighs, too tired for it to have the backing of his frustration behind it, and rests his head on his desk. 

“Taka? Taka!” it’s Makoto, shaking his shoulder slightly. “Dude. Go to bed.”

“But I need -” 

“This is a really good start!” Some of Makoto’s pep is drained from the research he’s spent all afternoon-evening-early morning doing. “At least, take a nap. Or rest your eyes?” Well, his vision has gotten a little blurry. “I can look over this for spelling mistakes, or suggestions.”

“But don’t you -”

“I need a break.” He says it flatly, but it still comes out like he’s begging for Taka to help him out. If it’s just a manipulation so Taka will go to sleep... Well, it’s awfully sneaky, and he’s too tired to tell him no. And he passes out on his desk, anyway. 

--

Somewhere along the line, Kiyotaka should learn how to greet other people like a regular person, instead of starting off his sentences with things like, “How do you turn in work that you know is subpar?”

He can’t really blame Mondo for looking at him with some kind of unspecified negative emotion (longing, he thinks, but he doesn’t have the background information necessary to make that claim) to fury. “You ain’t had a real conversation with me in four days an’ the first thing you say to me is to criticize my work ethic?” 

Four days. What was four days ago? Sunday? The day they went to international house for that party and they - 

Oh. Oh, given that context, yes. He can understand why Mondo looks upset with him. And why he seems so frustrated. And why he’s always trying to get his attention and upset that he’s not looking at him. I’m so terrible at this.

“Terrible at what?” Oh, gods, did he really say that out loud? “Are - are you cryin’?” He wouldn’t normally let himself be manhandled like this but he thinks, one, that Mondo is not being rough on purpose, and two, that he maybe kind of deserves to be treated roughly. 

He cuts Mondo off from whatever he was going to say by blurting out the lesser of his two current issues, which is, “I didn’t mean it how it came out. I’m sure your usual work is exemplary. But I hear you and Leon saying that homework you turn in for your language classes is ‘not the best’. I just want to know how you deal with that.” And he should have gone to Leon, probably, just avoided seeing Mondo altogether until he could have figured out You kissed him and then didn’t talk to him for three days after so of course he hates you now, you idiot on his own.

Although, to be honest the latter part probably would never have happened. “Sometimes, you just gotta accept you can’t be good at everythin’. And teachers don’t expect you to be, right? You’re gonna be bad at some shit, that’s why they got a job.” Well, he does have a point there. “Didn’t you ever turn in shit in high school and thought, ‘This prolly wasn’t the best I could do, but I can’t think of how to make it better’?” 

He’s trying to think about it, but it comes back blank. “No.” He’s too nervous to actually look at Mondo, but there’s probably something like disbelief or irritation. “I didn’t have any friends in high school, so I didn’t do anything but study. There was never any reason for me to turn in less than my best.” 

“No offense, man, but that’s total bullshit.” Mondo squats down so he doesn’t have an excuse not to look at him anymore, no matter how terribly he feels about it. “Even if it ain’t, or you think it ain’t, college is different. You need to let yourself suck at things, so you can get better at ‘em.” 

“Like relationships?” At least he hears himself say it that time. It’s not fair to Mondo to make him feel embarrassed about it too, since it’s hardly his fault. 

And Mondo does look moderately uncomfortable with him saying it like that, scratching the back of his head and standing up and staring at his bed so he doesn’t have to look at Taka. Kiyotaka starts to breathe so he can apologize for doing whatever the heck it is he has or hasn’t been doing over the past couple of days, but Mondo starts talking first. “I just wanna know where I stand with you. If yer not interested, that’s fine, but I can’t figure out what it is ya want from me.” 

He turns back around but doesn’t quite look at Taka, arms crossed over his chest but eyes on the floor, off to the side, like he’s trying to get the best of both worlds by both having this conversation and not having it at the same time. 

“I want to be best friends,” Taka says. 

“Oh,” Mondo says, not doing a very good job of hiding his disappointment.

“And I want to be more than that,” he continues. 

He doesn’t do a very good job of hiding his feelings about that, either. 

[caitsbooks]

WELL MET BY JEN DELUCA – NOT YOUR TYPICAL FAIRYTALE ROMANCE (ARC REVIEW)

*Thank you to Netgalley and Berkley for providing me an ARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions in this review are my own. Quotes are from the ARC and are subject to change upon publication.*

Overall: 5/5 Stars Characters: 5/5 Setting: 5/5 Writing: 5/5 Plot and Themes: 5/5 Awesomeness Factor: 5/5 Review in a Nutshell: Well Met is just pure fun. This book is adorable, entertaining, and full of heart.

“I didn’t choose the wench life. The wench life chose me.”

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[ Related: 12 Summer Romances (6 YA + 6 Adult) ]

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// Content Warning: Insecurities around not being enough, depression//

“Birthday wishes were allowed to be lofty. I blew out the candles and let those wishes fly away with the wisps of smoke. The ones that were meant to be would come back.”

Release Date: 9/3/2019 Publisher: Berkley Page Count: 336 Premise:

When Emily’s sister got in an accident, she dropped everything to help her and her niece. So when said niece needs an adult to volunteer with her at the Renaissance Faire, she agrees. However, what she didn’t expect was to make an enemy of the man running it, Simon, so quick. He has no patience for Emily and is quick with a critique, but once they get on Faire grounds, he changes completely. He turns into a suave pirate and flirts constantly with Emily’s character, but is it real, or is it just the characters they have to play?

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WRITING & SETTING

This book is addictive, and while that definitely had to do with the great plot and characters, I also have to give credit to the writing and setting. Jen DeLuca’s writing style is so easy to be absorbed by, and the immersive setting of the Renaissance Faire hooks you the second you start. Although that could just be me because I absolutely love the idea of Ren Faires. It’s because of this book that I’ll actually be going to my first one soon! Okay, but back to the writing. It’s very well done, with such a relatable tone that allows the book to feel both lighthearted and fun while also heartbreaking when necessary.

“You’re so focused on the past it’s all you can see. How can we have a future if all you keep doing is looking back?”

PLOT

I know I already said this book is addictive, but I just need to say it again. I could not put it down. There was always something interesting happening, between the romance plotline, the family dynamics, and the Ren Faire itself. The plot also managed to both be fun and entertaining while discussing some deeper issues and handling them well.

“Let us love you, and remind you that you’re worth it until you figure out what you’re going to do next.”

CHARACTERS

Partially why this book is so good is the characters in it. Emily is a great protagonist. She’s strong, smart, and organized, with painfully relatable insecurities that she is trying to work through. I really loved her character development, and how she grows over the course of the book. As for our love interest, I really don’t want to say too much because it’s best to learn more about him over the course of the book. I know that’s one of my personal favorite parts of enemies-to-lovers romance. However, I will mention that I loved how much his pirate character reminded me of Hook from Once Upon A Time. It was amazing. Also, there were some great side characters! I especially loved Emily’s dynamic with her sister and her niece.

”I know you want to. You want to help everyone. But you need to help yourself for a change. Do what’s right for you.”

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[ Related: 15 September 2019 Releases]

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CONCLUSION

Pros- Great characters, addictive, Cons- There are no ren faires near me, which isn’t the fault of this book, but this book has now brought this problem to my attention so I’m blaming it. Overall- 5/5 stars. Well Met is everything I wanted it to be and more. With an adorable and steamy romance, the perfect setting, and amazing characters, you do not want to miss this.

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IF YOU LIKED WELL MET, I’D RECOMMEND:

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston – [ Review ]

The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren – [ Review ]

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Add To Your Goodreads Shelf Purchase From: Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Indiebound

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[themachiavellianpig]

Prodigal Son, Episode 9: Normal Is Just Too Weird

Episode nine of Prodigal Son, and Malcolm is possibly even worse at normal than he thought he was going to be. 

As always, full review and spoilers galore below. 

This week, we get to see Malcolm deal with his removal from the Junkyard Killer Case - there’s no direct interaction with the FBI, who’ve taken over, but the consequences of their actions are clearly playing merry hell with Malcolm’s subconscious. 

The dream sequence, in which the Girl in the Box does her best Samara from The Ring impression and then stabs Malcolm with his own 17th Century very expensive Japanese katana, was delightfully creepy, as well as giving us another excellent excuse to talk to Malcolm’s favourite therapist. 

She’s apparently rather into dream analysis and zeroes in on the, um, penetrative aspect of the dream, gently suggesting that Malcolm’s subconscious is not so much processing trauma as protesting poor working conditions - specifically the lack of food, sleep and sex. 

Malcolm: “It’s a little Freudian, but I’ll go with it.” Dr Therapist: “Not everything's about your father.” 

And as Malcolm goes on his way, of course with the customary post-therapy lollipop, he bumps into Eve, who thoughtfully asks after Jessica (“no longer armed, still a little dangerous”, what a way to talk about your mother, Malcolm) and then agrees to a date with Malcolm. It’s really quite hard to tell which of the two is more surprised that Malcolm has actually asked, but it’s a sweet moment all the same. (It also allows Jessica to freak out about a good thing, for once, more on that later).

So the cuteness is immediately followed by murder. 

The case of the week involves a dead man in someone else’s bed, a dissatisfied wife who’s hiding way more than her smoking habit from her husband, and an honest-to-God sex club, because why the heck not at this point. 

The initial crime scene was delightfully complicated by the arrival of the man they thought was dead, but the entire set up of the crime of the week was completely swept aside in my mind in favour of the revelations that JT has a wife, that Edrisa has been to a cuddle party and that Malcolm, in between being summoned to a crime scene and actually arriving at the crime scene, has already told Gil about asking Eve on a date. Plus, Malcolm’s immediate and entirely understandable look of pain when realising that he’d let slip about the date to Jessica. 

The two plots then unfold more or less concurrently - unravelling a top-secret sex club and unravelling ‘normal’ dating, and there is absolutely no surprises as to which one Malcolm seems to find easier. 

The crime of the week devolves into the expected tale of love, jealousy and revenge; given the set-up, it was never going to be about tax breaks, was it? 

Caleb, the victim of the week, is quickly revealed to be the lover of Beth - the owner of the apartment where Caleb died, but not the woman who slept with him shortly before his death. She confesses to having met Caleb as part of a high-society sex club which, crucially, made abundant use of their members’ property for private rendezvous, meaning that any number of people may have had access to the crime scene. 

So it’s up to Malcolm, an independently wealthy criminal consultant with a very nice apartment, to infiltrate the club. And, of course, he knows a guy. 

I fully was not expecting that guy to be Nico, the man whose hand Malcolm cut off way back in episode 1, and who is absolutely not ready to see his saviour/mutilator walk into his very classy I’m sure sex shop. 

Poor Nico. 

Nico gets Malcolm to Simone, the second-in-command of the sex club, who has a very good attempt at taking Malcolm for a spin before the team intervenes. As a former lawyer, she’s very clear that she hasn’t broken the law - it’s a sex club, not a business, and so the only rules it breaks are cultural. She even shuts down the accusation of being too calm with a brilliant, biting remark: “I’m devastated, but that’s not for you to see.” 

Simone points the team back towards Beth’s actual husband. The did-he/didn’t-he regarding the jilted husband would normally be fairly dull in this sort of episode, but it did allow for one of Malcolm’s patented “inappropriate ways to interact with members of the public”, when he turned up at a children’s playground and started loudly talking about sex clubs in front of the dean of a fancy prep school to try and intimidate a potential witness. 

Seriously, how many complaints about Malcolm does the NYPD have to deal with? 

The truth behind the sex-club is far more interesting; the illusive Jasper St George is revealed to be Charles Garner, a tech genius suffering from ALS, who used his algorithmic know-how to create a perfect playground for his wife to get the companionship he could no longer give her. 

As far as reasons to start a sex-club go, it’s fairly convincing. 

Unfortunately, the algorithms weren’t enough to weed out unstable or aggressive personalities, hence the jealousy-fuelled murders: Beth had broken the club’s rule of no attachments and fallen for Caleb, then been unable to cope when he didn’t want to be exclusive. Having killed Caleb out of jealousy, then Charles/Jasper to try and cover it up, Beth has a decent go at killing Simone as well before Malcolm talks her down. 

In our other plotline of the week, Malcolm fails a little bit at dating. Having successfully dodged his mother’s attempts to get him to take Eve to the opera in a private helicopter while wearing a brand-new tailored suit, he then gatecrashes JT’s date with his wife playing pool. Eve turns out to be very good at pool, even when she’s overdressed, and we get a chance to meet Tally, JT’s wife. 

Unfortunately, after a little prodding from Tally, Malcolm agrees to profile Eve and presses a little too hard on the kind of emotional scars that might lead someone to work against human trafficking. Not the best move for a first date. 

Given a little time, though, Eve comes back to Malcolm and they apologise to each other - Malcolm for what he saw and said, Eve for pushing him into saying it. Unsurprising, this mutual forgiveness leads to certain other boundaries being crossed, and we get the traditional fade to black. 

The subsequent reveal that Malcolm, in addition to having sex with Eve, also managed to sleep with her (actually sleep), given that he told Dani earlier in the season that he’d never managed to do that with anyone. Of course, this potentially very sweet start to a relationship is completely ruined when the nightmare/hallucination of the Girl in the Box reappears to taunt Malcolm some more - leading to him getting dangerously close to Eve with a kitchen knife. 

Finally, Jessica confronts Gil about whatever’s been tormenting Malcolm recently - and Gil reveals that the team now has evidence that the Girl in the Box was real, not just a figment of Malcolm’s imagination, and that the Junkyard Killer gave them her bracelet as proof of, well, death more than life, I suppose. And Jessica, although initially thrown, sets off, clearly determined to do something for once, rather than just waiting for Martin to do something to her or her family again.   

Previous Prodigal Son reviews available here.