#although it should be noted that some people (myself included) believe that this version of Chris is actually a version of Jon

[g1rlr0b1n]

I totally respect your right to multiship (I dabble myself 🤭) and yeah, Damian could probably be out there living his best life with Conner somewhere in the multiverse (considering Jon isn't born on some Earths 🥺). Hell, it's even hinted at that on Earth 16 Damian and Chris Kent have a thing going on so why not Conner too, he clearly has a type 🤣

Just want to state for the record that I am still a damijon shipper (you haven't broken me yet lol). I simply don't mind Jon and Damian having other relationships before realizing their feelings for each other. It makes the relationship they will eventually have much more meaningful because they know what else is out there but they've fallen for each other regardless... also angst. 😈

(That's not to say I don't enjoy "you were my first and only" romances but for them, I think "shopping around" is fitting)

xD i do respect that!!

i love the angst too, and even more than that, i appreciate getting to enjoy something that's more bittersweet. kon and damian won't last forever here, but they're having a good time it's important for them to work on their feelings together and explore their options. jon would probably never push himself on damian before all this, he never once even hinted he liked damian, not on purpose anyway. he always thought it'd be out of line to hit on his best friend (who he thought was straight, no less).

damian likewise needed to have his first (same-sex) encounter with someone more experienced, to truly understand himself and all that he was into before realizing jon is the one he wants in the end.

i'll still have kondami together in other AUs, because of course my multishipper ass would, but for the purposes of my story, this is how i think about it xP

[korolife]

Blog No.003🍊　24年5月10日

「Let's Talk About Coloring+Rendering!!」

～ The Chaos of Akehhh-style Layering w/ Colors & Values ～

ArtStreet recently released some weekly coloring contests and as someone who likes joining 'em + colorwork being the absolute joyous part in drawing for me, I got really into it!! One of them somehow won and I still have the raw .mdp file of it with most of the layers unmerged... so, I thought there might be some value in sharing my chaotic coloring progress with it. There may never be an opportunity like this again...

CONTENTS:

Preface・・・・・・・・・

The Linework・・・・・・

Composition + Planning・

The Render・・・・・・・

Additional FX Tips・・・・

The Layers of Dread・・・

1. Preface

I use the free software MediBang Paint, which is made by the same folks who made the aforementioned art-sharing website, Artstreet. Although its file type extension is .mdp, it can also save as and open .psd files all the same.

If interested, you can download it on their website here! I believe it's available in both PC, Apple, iOs, and Android (also on the PlayStore). ☞And here is my google drive link of my fully rendered entry's raw .mdp file. I also included a .psd version that should be accessible with most other softwares like Photoshop, Clipstudio, etc.

NOTE: Not sure how some layer effects will be displayed apart from MediBang though (either in name or function) . But I think "multiply" and "overlay" is fair game on most drawing/photo-editing softwares with layer systems.

Either way, ↑this is just a bonus thing if you wish to see for yourself how much my MediBang cries everytime I work on something, since visuals of the rough step-by-step will be provided here as well!

At the end of this post, all of the layers' purposes will be explained...y-you'll see...

■And just as a disclaimer: I'm an instinctively self-taught illustrator who is a heavy visual learner, so there are certain methods I do that I cannot readily explain with back-up studies on color theories or formally taught techniques in art schools and the like/certain made-up terminologies that may or may not exist as something else. I mostly operate on instinct, observation, subjective preferences, and vibes, so this would just be me trying to verbalize my process (with visual aid) as a means of share-rambling, rather than actually directly "teaching" anything, I think haha You can take it as a cautionary tale too, honestly-

※I will also be going through this with the assumption that the reader has some background knowledge on digital illustration and general drawing basics + lingo. If you have any questions or needed clarifications, please feel free to let me know!

Although art can be fundamentally "wrong" when it comes to achieving certain specific styles, structures (especially when involving realism as the standard), or general executions of intentions/themes, I am of belief that there is generally no wrong or right 'way' for drawing anything; or for doing ANY type of artistic endeavor for that matter. This might be perceived as a "bad anatomy defender" / "no need to improve, then" stance on my part, but it is absolutely not the case! An artwork is never finished, there's always room for improvementsーa galaxy's size of a room especially for myselfーbut I just think anything at all that brings you an expressive or creative outlet, joy, or peace of mind is worth pursuing, regardless of your own skill or tact and there's no shame in that. I do not wish anyone, especially people starting out with drawing to be discouraged for having their own different approaches in comparison to other people's works by misconception of, "oh, am I doing it wrong?". Sometimes having different or an uncommon worldview is not always a 'bad' thing, I think. Heaven forbid artists actually start getting creative and unique―

What I will be presenting here is simply my one way out of thousands of thousands of different possibilities. So, let's start★

2. The Linework

Equally lengthy talk of lineart is probably for a later discussion, but here is the template provided by ArtStreet for the contest + what will be colored in for today.

☞The contest has since ended, but you can still download the lineart template here if you'd like!

3. Composition + Planning

The contest rules said it's "OK to draw backgrounds", so let's go!!

I had already decided on how I want to color it early on: It will be more scenic in nature, rather than stylistic. So, there will be more focus on looking 'real' than 'aesthetically stylish'! Just so it doesn't look disconnected or too out of place, I tried to draw my additions similarly to how Mr. archerman's linework looked as much as possible.

This how I visually define "scenic" VS "stylistic" illustrations (in my head)

I like experimenting and mixing different rendering techniques with varying linework styles and tend to think about my approach with the rendering long before the coloring process, even waaay before I line my final sketch, usually. But for this, I'm simply working with what was given to me.

At first, I just wanted a "cool breeze w/ leaves flying away ahhhh refreshing~~" mood, but the space at the side of his head looked rather empty as is, even with Nessie. So I thought about putting him inside a vague...darkly-lit abandoned ruins-setting to eat up some of that space.

And with that, it's time for colors.

4. The Render

My coloring process is the lengthiest and often makes people who see me color in real-time scream in horror, but I think it's actually fairly simple and can be summarized into three nutshelled stages:

①Fill in the colors with a finalized palette of your choice,

②cry Continuously render until your arms fall off you're satisfied.

③ cry even HARDER (optional) Adjust accordingly to fit in better with other elements of the illustration, such as with the focus/subject to background. *will be explained later.

oh and btw, the usage of the words 'render(ing)' tends to be confusing with its association with other mediums like 3D models, but when it comes to drawing I like to think of it this way:

🎨Coloring is the planned/intentional selection of your color range, tints, tones, and palette to use in a drawing, ☀Rendering is the act (or product) of the set of techniques (including effects, filters, etc.) you use with the colors/values to create the illusions of depth, shadows and light, movement, warmth/cold atmospheres, etc in a 2D illustration.

But that's just how I define it with my own step-by-steps. Otherwise, I think either term is pretty much interchangeable.

Anyhoo, what do you think should this man's hair, skin, eye, and clothing's colors be?

here are some of the variations on the color picks of his outfit that rotted my brain for about 3 hours straight, like it's a 2000s dress-and-match flash game

The many submissions for the contest had many fun color combinations and interesting interpretations I personally think should've won. I saw a lot of blonde archer-princes wearing greens, browns, and blues, as a lot also went for the "forest hunter boi" vibe. But I was saddened by the lack of my favorite colors being used as the primary colorーorange and yellow. So, let's use those!!

The start of my coloring/rendering journey is never at Layer '1'.........

―Starting with what I've always referred to as "environment prep":

The purpose here is to 'set' the base colors so they match with the environment or general atmosphere. Get ready to see this over and over

This could mean adjusting the saturation, or spraying gradients of the BG's most prominent color on parts that...gives me anxiety the most-

As someone who tends to work with very, very bright color schemes with character designs, trying to blend in when the illustration is meant to be scenic or 'serious' in tone without it being a distracting eyesore can be a challenge. So, this is what I do to counter it.

Shading is usually an early step for me as well, even though I think it's a lot of other artists' near-to-final step. I tend to lean towards an abomination mix of soft shade and cel shadeーthe strokes are sharp enough to trace where the shadows start and end, but softened around the edges for effect.

I also tend to apply an additional spray of subtly darker shade on top of the first one? It's usually on spots where I think the light source won't be hitting as much. I wouldn't do this for simple styles (stylized illustrations like with a chibi style), but for scenic illustrations I find it's necessary to achieve that depth against a fully-rendered environment.

※Just a side note: You may see multiple things changing around, but in real time I'm most definitely working on one part at a time lol. These visual aids were ripped off the raw .mdp by hiding some of the layers, so that's why different areas seem to progress together all at once, even if that's a bit idealistic in actuality.

Apart from the previous adding of shades with a multiply-mode layer for the preliminary shadows, I add one more layer of shadow on there for objects or other characters that can cast distinct shadows on the subject. In here, it's the bow and the hovering strap across his chest.

Lighting is also starting to be added as well.

One direct alteration I did with the lineart template was change the line's colors. I find it really softens them to mix better with their filled-in colors + as well as not stand out too harshly against a light-colored scenic background.

I think you now have a good idea over my hyperfixation on making sure colors are 'vibing' well against the BG lol A lot of these steps are basically just doing the same thing over and over with new layers for the sake of this purpose, really.

And after that, just repeating all the stuff we did with the character onto everything else (background, foreground, objects, etc.) until you're satisfied with it!

A lot of these changes are very subtle on their own, but makes all the difference in the bigger picture, I think!

Just maybe some additional finishing touches for some boom shakalaka and...that's pretty much it! You will notice that throughout the entire process, there's a lot of random little things that suddenly appear or change with seemingly not much purpose or meaning on its own. I unfortunately have always drawn in this sort of vague, quickly impulsive, directionless way since I was a child and I don't think even I will ever understand it, logically. It's mostly a... continuous string of instinctive feelings of "HEY let's do it this way, if not there's like 10 other things we can try next", is the closest I can get to an explanation of how it feels.

I don't know if it's common for other artists to think or function this way, but I do know for a fact that many people seem to be surprised and confused when they see me drawing in real time this way. Everytime I get asked 'how' I draw certain things, I say things like 'I turn my brain off and vibe with many, many layers with a broken back.' and people think it's just a dismissive joke. I-it's really not, it's literally what happens, I don't have any secret shortcuts for you-

Hopefully this very lengthy post + visual aids can help demystify some misconceptions on what "really" goes on when I'm drawing! It's also a bit of an update of my tutorials made for friendos starting out with digital drawing back in 2015!

Anyway, the rendering stage is where the simplified steps ② and optional step ③ branch out like a fork in the road for me; I don't think one is any "better" than the other, I think doing either is simply a matter of personal preference and artistic choice;

➋being leaving all that 100++ layers rendering that we just did alone and calling it a day,

➌being a little bit more extra w/ additional shadows/lighting that corresponds with the environment the character is in.

I removed the walls to see the whole figure better in a side-by-side comparison. I like the unadjusted (L) without the wall, but with the walls in the final illustration, I think adjusted (R) felt 'right'. What do you think?

There are some things, although realistic, don't look that good as a visual aesthetic and are just downright excessive/unnecessary to add to certain types of illustrations.

Then there's things that aren't possible in real life, but artistically? Looks really dang cool. Being biased for either ends of the hyperrealism and hyperstylized spectrums of styles is fine; only as long as no discrimination is involved towards people who don't share your opinions, in my opinion-

and to conclude this section, I say,

『 You go render however you wantーhellーno colors even necessary if you wish!

Simple ≠ laziness, just as much as complexity ≠ skill。』

I will never stop yapping about how a lot of minimalist styles require so much more amounts of planning and effort to make sure everything is nice and clean, especially compared to mindless rendering loops like these. Mine's a maximalist hell and I wouldn't have it any other way, but I greatly envy minimalist artists that can render with just something like my step ① with so much grace and tact; not a single stray or wasted stroke!! Anyone who dismisses these types as "lazy" I will violently stuff inside a couchーwithout any potato snacks to snack on!!!

5. Additional FX Tips

Just a shorter section for some optional finishing touches tips'n'tricks used in this I frequently (ab)use☆

◆ From the very beginning, even before I understood how to draw, it's always been a tradition to doodle around sparkles all around the place. I usually do it with MediBang's sparkle brush if I want it to look polished, or simply draw it manually using either the pen or airbrush tool for a cruder charm.

◆ Motion blur is great, and MediBang in particular also has different types of blur effects like Gaussian and regular blurs. If your software doesn't have these effects / if you're working traditionally but still want to achieve the illusion of motion in a still drawing, you can still achieve the same effect through your linework! Try looking into incorporating action lines (commonly seen in manga and comics) into it. Otherwise, purposefully drawing something blurily to begin with oughta work as well.

◆ Apart from changing the lineart's colors, there's also this little effect that is achieved by duplicating the lineart and blurring it. It gives something like a...'dreamy' quality to it? The higher the blurred copy's opacity is, the more emphasized it makes everything look.

6. The Layers of Dread

At long last we've arrived... at my MediBang's repeating demise for all of eternity...

Here's a preview of what the .mdp/.psd file of this colored entry's unhingedmerged layers looks like + how I try to validate their existence. When I work on full-sized illustrations, I tend to merge layers as I go, so this is probably one of the rare times I can show something like this without either mine or your PC dying. If you'd like to see, play around with, and toggle them for yourself in all of its............glory, feel free to download it here.

Yes

we're starting at Layer 611. Enjoy.

I will now delete my PC's copy because jfc that's one too many MBs ...and it's still eons lighter than what I usually work with on my own full illustrations from sketch to finish......。 (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`) thank you for reading this far and making it out alive, goodbye for now...

・・・ホームページALL LINKS・・・

・Art Gallery・Commission Info・Ko-fi shop・

[infinitywritesnyc]

Alright you desperate, horny little fucks (including myself) It's time to set the record straight! The person we are going to marry is most likely not on social media apps. Although according to New York Post Magazine long distance relationships have a 60% success rate, I in the other hand I get too anxious not being able to have someone by my side when I need companionship. So consider me part of that 40% failure bracket!

The man of our dreams is more than likely not on Tinder, Hinge, or even Grindr. For some of us ,our future partner is in uptown Washington Heights smoking their hookah sipping on his corona on a hot summer NYC day. For few, they may be in a meeting closing deals or on a trip to Ibiza so he could rave all night. To many they might be at a local store, or just down block, or even better right in front of them. I tend to had my fair share with men, and one thing i have realized about dating apps is that they are overwhelmingly sexually heightened. To the point where in 2024 The First Date, especially in the local community is either, Netflix and Chill, a Cyph, Carplay, or with even higher chances a 'one night stand'.

WHAT HAPPENED TO LOVE GUYS? I am feening for someone to pull up unannounced with flowers, with reservations to Blend On The Water for two, and a playlist ready for the night. Someone who makes me feel like I'm the only person in the world. Does that exist anymore? Or did Love go extinct? Are we just all trying to fuck each other until we run out of people to fuck? What are we gonna do if we all fucked? At least pick three to start a family and keep em on a rotation? Hmm maybe that's why people try to aim for polynomory. But not me! I'm a Monomagous person, so I did some research of my own. 

For a long time I used to believe falling in love online, was the only way my life would change, but in reality social media is an outlet for us to share, create, and support one another. The love part should come after the first link up, after the first get together, creating face to face memories! The list of people I have met online growing up till this day in age 2024? Reaches 20,000 users! I GURANTEE you, that 40% from back in the days are faded into the clouds, the other 40% I have met and created an acquainted relationship with, then there's the 10% that I actually was able to maintain close friendships with and like 2 relationships came out of those online interactions from the age of 13-24.

During the COVID pandemic in 2020 we were locked up and collectively fell under the same illusion that gathered a billion brains blended into one, why do you think anxiety sky rocketed ? Cause we all know exactly what we are thinking and feeling, we all have an ideology of being one. We all tend to downplay it 99% of the times by being relatable to one another in which created what I like to call TikTok Culture, which includes; The effect on how we listen to music, what we find admirable, what is right or wrong, what is in or out. We came together to solve the solutions to our distractions rather than seeing the bigger picture, (which as of today June 2024 that illusion is slowly breaking, and hopefully this blog shatters it) 

the bigger picture: the world we need to fight for is outside of our front door, not in our screens. Then you will see and feel the full effect of the manifestation that's bursting to come outside of you into the world. 

Which is why I am very big on in person interaction, understanding, accepting and loving one another. In-Person experiences are way more genuine, memorable, and in my opinion the most real. When you meet at a job, bump into each other at the market, meet at a festival or concert. At the end of the day everyone has their own version of what's real right? This is mine.

But just to clarify on something really quick, the term "In-Person" did not exist before the pandemic. Think about that. 

Consequently, I took notes at the simple fact that every men i have tried to date or fucked. Left me scooped into the streets with no self-progression, i look back and noticed how much experience I've gained, both negative and positive, yet! Even though how i move about life has helped me focus where i want to be, i genuinely did not benefit from these relationships AT ALL! So i came to a conclusion that me and my future man's end of life goals, will most likely allign, and we will eventually end up with each other, so why don't I just live? take the steps that i need to get to my end goal, and in time the love of my life will meet me in the middle, at the right time. So FUCK dating apps, write your end of life goal, take those steps! And meet the love of your life! YOUR PERSON IS, OUT THERE! 

New York Post Magazine - https://nypost.com/2018/10/31/long-distance-relationships-are-more-successful-than-you-think/# (Oct 31, 2018)

[zaagis-archive]

diaspora is survival : let the dystopian morning light pour in

this is an edited version of an autobiographical essay i submitted for my pan-african geography class where the prompt was

"Using the excerpt from Stokely Carmichael’s Ready for the Revolution as a model, write a short autobiographical essay describing your own experience of “diaspora as survival.” How, in other words, did you end up here in Vancouver and at UBC? While you should describe as much as possible the migrations of your own family, you should also try to include references to those important historical markers of labor, history, race, colonialism, migration, and gender that are referenced by Carmichael." the purpose of me publishing this essay on tumblr is so i can cite it for another class, michael if ur reading this i hope u enjoy it !! i omitted some details i wasn't comfortable posting on the internet (aka not doxxing myself). also if the capitalization seems funky, it's intentional !!

I am what time, circumstance, history, have made of me, certainly, but I am, also, much more than that. So are we all.

[Notes of a Native Son – James Baldwin]

I’ve always been a bit of historian, how could I not when my own history, my own stories, have been hidden from me. To be Indigenous in a country that treats my people as a history, as no longer present, means being a historian of my own culture is a form of resistance. It doesn’t fit with the settler colonial canadian logic for my people to have a history or culture. Everyday I resist this occupation by remembering, by recreating, and continuing anishinaabek ways of living. And if Audre Lorde says, “the personal is political”, then much of what I write (both for academic purposes but also creative projects) will involve the politics of being a disabled Afro-Indigenous queer/two-spirit person living in an occupied state. Simply put, I write as a Nakawe, a citizen of Tootinaowaziibeeng, in Musqueam territory. I write from the belly of the beast and it can hard to avoid the drops of acid on these pages. 

How do you know your history? I’m not saying “ask your mom to cite her sources” but how do you know if what you’ve been told about yourself, your family, community, etc is true? I don’t believe one’s truth and what is fact are the same, at least I haven’t lived a life like that. Thus I’ll start where life starts, with the one who brought me into this world. I was born in oskana kâ-asastêki to my two adoptive parents and my biological mother tracy-lynn. I was adopted at birth, many who aren't familiar with the foster care system (the modern way canada monitors Indigenous children’s whereabouts, since the final residential school closed in 1996) would think that being adopted at birth was a good thing, I don't know if it was. You're likely wondering where my biological dad is… well that makes two of us. During conversations with her social worker she admitted to not knowing the father and regularly having casual sex with men of different ethnic origins, naming white, Indigenous, Black, and Filipino. Thus my adoptive parents (Tracey and Arlon), assumed I was Filipino based on my looks. Although strangers did occasionally throw Black microaggressions towards me, older white women wanted to touch my black curls and I was a girl who wanted to be ‘polite’. 

For the first 18 years of my life, it was my truth that I was Filipino. The guilt of my lack of connection from my Filipino friends eventually brought me to study the language as a teenager. Wanting to know what region of the Philippines my father was from lead me to doing a DNA test around age 18. Discovering the truth, for a short period of time, resulted in a what felt like a cultural crisis. I finally felt comfortable in one of my ethnic backgrounds (comfortable enough to get a tattoo of the Philippines flag within a knife, image above) so realizing the rarity of situations like this and not being able to find help online terrified me. After learning basic Tagalog, growing up with Filipino friends, and even embarking on a double major of History and Asian Studies, I had found myself in a very strange circumstance. You can find thousands of articles giving advice on how to come out as gay or transgender (as I had done so at 11 and 12 myself), but nobody really comes out as African. Honestly, I was scared that people would think of me as a liar or fraud. Like the pretendian equivalent of being Black. If the truth came to light, people would think I was intentionally lying about my race. At the same time, I was scared that if I said I was Black, but provided no proof, I was just some annoying leftist trying to claim a marginalized identity. It felt like being called to fight in a war where I'd lose on either front. 

As strange as it sounds, I can’t imagine my life without my queerness. Growing up with two older siblings that came out as queer before me allowed 11 year old me to develop language to understand myself and others. If I weren’t queer, I don’t know if I would’ve been introduced to philosophies of identity and history. Gaining a sense of self, a sense of pride in who I am and the communities I’m a part of, was integral to me discovering feminism at a young age (roughly age 13), leading me to learn from Black and Indigenous feminists/communists, many of whom I cite today in teacher education. The most important life lesson being queer has given me is that I don’t need to “know” myself, know what exact labels and identities suit me at any given moment, I just need to live. For example, I don’t inject testosterone because I feel at my core I’m a man (I don’t) or because I feel a need to prove my masculinity in a biological way (I don’t), I do it because I like the way it makes my body look. In a very Gen Z way, I decided to fuck around and find out. Thus when I had my cultural identity crisis, I realized I could just identify as mixed Black/Ethiopian/African. In the same way there’s no “true trans” person, there’s was no way for me to “truly” be African. I just am. 

As mentioned, I learnt about social justice issues and movements relatively early which was integral to my own identity development. Through learning from revolutionaries like Kwame Ture who stated “​​We're Africans in America, struggling against American capitalism. We're not Americans” and “a fight for power is a fight for land. [...] Our land is Africa. America's not our land, it belongs to the American Indians and we have a right to stand and take a moral struggle with them.” I felt empowered to describe myself as Afro-Indigenous, to bring my two sides together as one whole. Diaspora is survival can mean a lot of things at different times & places but here, it meant a member of the diaspora empowered another diaspora to take up the family name of African, within my mixed background. The name survived its travels. This is my favourite term for a few important reasons. Firstly, I’m acknowledging the lands I’m from. Both the ties I have to Africa as a diaspora and Indigenous reflecting my Turtle Island upbringing. Secondly, I’m not identifying with a colonial state as terms like Indigenous Canadian or Black Canadian would suggest. Lastly, I’m not playing into the settler idea of blood quantum. A soul cannot be divided into percentages.

It feels wrong, embarrassing even, to say I envy the classmates of mine who have the privilege of being one call or text away from a family member that can answer simple questions. I only know what someone, I assume a social worker, felt was worthy of documenting. I didn’t learn that my maternal grandmother’s brother roger was forced into multiple residential schools from tracy-lynn or her mother rita, I learnt from a fucking hydro company. How colonial dystopian is that? Hydro Manitoba did a study of the land they intended to put pipelines through, consulting the nation which neighbours my own. My nation is Tootinaowaziibeeng First Nation, physically within Treaty 2 territory but a signatory of Treaty 4. I’ve lived most of my life on Treaty 4 land, i.e. the land stolen from the Métis (michif), Cree (néhiyaw), and Ojibway (anishinaabe). My adoptive dad Arlon is a descendant of the first British & French settlers in the region and he didn’t know which Indigenous peoples lived on the land that makes up our family farm-turned-acreage until I told him. To him, the land was always in the family and was empty before, owned by the canadian government that gave it to his family. As a socially anxious young adult he was set up on a dinner date with my adoptive mom, Tracey. She was also from a white farming family, her childhood home being just 2 km down the road from where mine still sits today. Growing up she embraced the cuisine of her German ancestry, that was all her mother taught her. If I remember correctly, she’s mostly German, but had Jewish family survive the Holocaust, becoming refugees to Canada after leaving the Netherlands. I’m unsure if they were Dutch Jewish, I never asked. Despite having 3 known sides of family, I’ve always been distanced from them in some way. When I was young my mom told me the reason we didn’t spend time with distant family was because they were “mean” to her. As a teenager I learnt “mean” actually meant racist, they were upset with her for adopting an “Indian” baby.

Like Toni Morrison, much of my own literary (and musical) background comes from autobiographies. Now that I think about it, I’m surrounded by autobiographical creations. I can prove this on the spot by looking down at my phone next to me, Spotify open, playing Boujee Natives by Snotty Nose Rez Kids, a hiphop duo from Haisla First Nation. That song is on my ndn rap playlist, below it is my hiphop for sexy ppl only playlist which contains only Black/African rappers. I hit shuffle on the playlist and Malcolm Garvey Huey by Dead Prez comes on, ironic as I get to read works by/about these exact historical figures for this geography class. If I look into my backpack next to me I’ll find Dancing On Our Turtle’s Back by Leanne Betasamosake Simpson (Michi Saagiig Nishnaabeg) and Creeland by Dallas Hunt (Swan River First Nation), both autobiographical works to an extent. That’s just my immediate surroundings here at a cafe near my house, I typically exist near a shelf of autobiographies at my two library jobs, as well as at home in East Van.

Where would I go? If I wrote an autobiography what section would they put me in? Would it still be autobiography if so much of my family knowledge comes from government documents like an adoption act or residential school records? Would my Indigeneity render it a historical work? If I have to rely on historical evidence to make a guess, does that make my life a fiction? Assuming an Indigenous category exists, who makes the decision on whether I’m too Black to belong? Perhaps I’ll write a biomythography like Audre Lorde. The sisters have it figured out this time, I know where’d I go. 

If past you were to meet future me, Would you be holding me here and now?

[Historians – Lucy Dacus]

References :

Afromarxist, “What's in a Name? ft. Kwame Ture (1989)” YouTube, video publication date 27 October 2019, https://youtu.be/OGcl359SMxE?si=T_bs5PKLBZuUYwZ0

Baldwin, James. Notes of a Native Son. Boston: Beacon Press, 1955. 

Chakasim, Neegahnii Madeline. “Pretendians and their Impacts on Indigenous Communities.” The Indigenous Foundation, May 10 2022. https://www.theindigenousfoundation.org/articles/pretendians-and-their-impacts-on-indigenous-communities 

HTFC Planning & Design & Manitoba Hydro. “See what the land gave us” Waywayseecappo First Nation Traditional Knowledge Study For the Birtle Transmission Line. December 2017. https://www.hydro.mb.ca/docs/projects/birtle/appendix_c_waywayseecappo_tk_study_final_report.pdf 

Lucy Dacus. Historians. Jacob Blizard and Collin Pastore. March 2, 2018. Matador Records, digital streaming.

Books / music mentioned

dead prez. Malcolm Garvey Huey. June 22 2010. Boss Up Inc., digital streaming. 

Hunt, Dallas. Creeland. Gibsons: Nightwood Editions, 2021.

*Maynard, Robyn. Policing Black Lives: State Violence in Canada from Slavery to the Present. Winnipeg: Fernwood Publishing, 2017. 

Lorde, Audre. Zami: A New Spelling of My Name. New York: Crossing Press, 1982.

Phoebe Bridgers. ICU. Phoebe Bridgers, Marshall Vore, & Nicholas White. June 18, 2020. Dead Oceans, digital streaming.

Snotty Nose Rez Kids. Boujee Natives. May 10 2019. Independent, digital streaming. 

Simpson, Leanne Betasamosake. Dancing on Our Turtle’s Back: Stories of Nishnaabeg Re-Creation, Resurgence, and a New Emergence. Winnipeg: Arbeiter Ring Publishing, 2011. 

*Simpson, Leanne Betasamosake. As We Have Always Done. Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 2017. 

sources with * were in the original essay but omitted from this version

[aromantisk-fagforening]

a simple translation for privatisert barnål by resirkulert. (a political song, I will provide short explanations for the political parties referenced in the footnotes)

first, a translation I can't do afaik: "barnål" means the "needles" (leaf equivalents) of Pinales trees (which includes: Araucaria, cedar, celery-pine, cypress, fir, juniper, kauri, larch, pine, redwood, spruce, and yew, according to Wikipedia, version 14. Dec 20:10 to 15. dec 17:43 and maybe further).

another note is that I'm pretty sure some parts were just written wrong in the lyric transcript, cause multiple lines weren't coherent sentences so I wasn't true to that.

[lyrics start]

Straight to the point with a lawyer

I have a quote, you probably vote pirate¹

demonstrate and respond to Karl Johan² against the state decision

React against the self-important and they look down on citizens like you

Bureaucrats everywhere and the serious talk puts me off

[instrumental]

The wave of right-wing politics pushes me further left than I need

Everything is covered in soot, blue and green³ and all the time the conversation is about money

Everything you hear around is a loud voice influenced⁴ by a discussion

And I'm starting to wonder if the whole parliament has become an illusion

[instrumental]

[chorus: With barnål and sewing thread, I am sewing myself in place, With barnål and sewing thread, I sew myself in place ]

[instrumental]

When we hit the streets, everything is financed privately

and on every corner there is a person who has been discriminated against

Norway will become a country where praise⁵ should feel registered

And I met a man in the street, he had unfortunately been privatized

[chorus x 4]

[lyrics end]

ok so the footnotes:

"voting pirate" probably refers to voting for the pirate party, which is a real party in Norway (even getting 0.1% of votes in the national election), want to make online piracy easier I think the name is from. They basically believe in a right to knowledge and lack of surveillance. In 2023 they changed their name to "the innovation and technology party". (source: SNL.no, itpartiet.no, no.m.wikipedia.org, en.m.wikipeia.org). It could also mean something else, I'm not the only song interpreter, but yeah, some cultural context I figured may be relevant.

Karl Johan (-s gate / 's street) is the street in Oslo, the capital, where the parliament (Storting) building is.

for this footnote I've interpreted "covered in soot" as a metaphor, considering Norway doesn't have coal power afaik. But this is about the criticism of "blue and green". both the green Senterparti (centre party), the blue-green color Venstre (left party (although they're actually right wing libertarians, pro privatization though pro queer) and the blue parties (all the right-wing ones) are for privatization. A notable exception here is mdg (The Environment Party The Green) who are leftists (criticized for dividing would-be Red Party (the furthest left with any power) voters) , but use the color green. (disclaimer that this is a politics summary and thus people have strongly varied perceptions of them, the parties vary locally (I'm not checking 10 k + communes), and I don't have any academic background in politics).

it feels weird to translate "å prege" as to influence, but it sorta does mean that. You could also say "informed by", "impacted by" and such. "his voice was [prega] by fear" means "his voice was full of fear".

I translated "annerkjennelse" as praise because of context, I assume it's about money, and basically praise = money being the message. But technically it means "recognition" (primarily), or "popularity", "acceptance ", "respect", "esteem" or "praise".

[stxleslyds]

I didn't realize how often I thought about this fandom until I started churning out asks on a daily basis.

Knowing DC's creative trends/talent in 1988/89, what do you think would have happened if fans voted for Jason's survival? From released alternative comic pages, Jason still gets blown up but survives.

Do you think they had a plan for him to become Hush (like the Death in the Family interactive "movie" implies)? Would he get a personality change through amnesia? Or would the comics have retired him to fade into obscurity?

WHAT IF…? BUT JASON TODD SURVIVES.

Hi friend! Thank you for the ask! This should be interesting.

But before I give my answer, let’s take a look at those pages where Jason had actually survived Joker’s attack.

From the second page we only can see one panel but some who have seen the entire, unreleased, page have said this about it:

“The full page reveals more, including the arrival of Dick Grayson to Jason’s hospital room, although a pencilled note in the margins says to strike him, and redraw the panels in favour of having Alfred in the scene instead. Dick rushed over as soon as he heard, and offered Bruce his help in tracking down the Joker.

In the published version of Batman #428, the same page depicts Jason’s funeral, where Alfred asks Bruce if he should get in touch with Dick Grayson. In both pages, Batman says roughly the same thing: “I’ll handle this by myself. No help from now on... that’s the way I want it.””

This makes me feel like Jason having survived or not the Joker’s attack would have resulted in the same outcome within Bruce. Dick shows up at the hospital to check on Jason and offers his help in tracking Joker to Bruce but Bruce doesn’t want his help because from that moment on “he works alone”.

That would lead to the same exact actions that happened with Jason dead. Bruce goes after Joker on his own and leaves up to fate if he dies or not (although he said that his issues with Joker never truly end, Batman (1940) #429),

And if Bruce pushes Dick away then we could also be having a scene like the one from The New Titans (1988) #55, where Bruce implies that Jason getting hurt was Dick’s fault for having moved on from Robin himself. If that happens then Dick would blame Bruce for putting Jason in danger way too soon and their fight will end up with Bruce kicking Dick out of the manor.

-

So, to answer your question, what would have happened if fans voted for Jason’s survival?

I think that DC would have turned Jason into another reason why Bruce thinks that all he could ever be is Batman. It would have made Bruce dark, moody and sad just like DC wanted, all darkness and no light.

Jason wouldn’t be dead but he wouldn’t be truly alive and they would use that to fuel the angst that surrounds Batman.

It is a very sad thing, but I actually think that Jason surviving the attack wouldn’t have had any impact on his own story, Jason’s suffering/death were set up to make Batman want to work alone again. I just don’t see DC back in the day working on Jason’s recovery (physical and mental), I see them leaving Jason comatose and as a reminder of one of Batman’s “failures”. Maybe in a distant future Jason could have woken up with amnesia and they could have done something with him then but I really don’t know how they could make that story work or if Jason would end up working as an ally or enemy of Batman.

Much like you said in the ask, I think that DC would have let the character of Jason Todd fade away,

-

Because that is a really sad answer, I decided to come up with other scenarios where I would give ideas of what I would have liked to see DC do, and what I would have done if I had existed back in the day!

What I would have liked to see DC do:

After setting the fact that Jason was left in a coma at the hospital after Joker’s attack, I think DC should have had Bruce making some extreme decisions. With Jason alive but not really there I think that DC could have made work a plot point that they tried to pull off with Jason dead.

In a comic event called ‘Underworld Unleashed’ the demon Neron offered bringing Jason back to life if Bruce gave him his soul in exchange. But with Jason alive I think that Bruce would have actually been even more tempted to take the offer if it meant that by giving his soul away, he could wake Jason up from the coma he was in. Then there could have been an event with magic users that made it possible so Bruce got his soul back or something. DC could have also had Jason have amnesia after Neron wakes him up so we would have a soulless Batman and amnesiac Jason trying to make their father/son relationship work (or not).

Another idea is Bruce making a different extreme decision where he asks Talia to help him find a Lazarus Pit to try his luck with Jason. Because Jason was in a coma and not dead the Pit would have actually worked (the Lazarus Pit cannot bring people back from the dead!). I imagine that if it worked then Bruce would owe Talia or Ra’s a favour, and that could make an interesting story, mostly if Jason Todd ends up mad at Bruce because he didn’t kill the Joker after he tried to kill him. (I do love chaos).

Maybe Jason could even join the LoA to make Bruce’s life difficult. He wouldn’t become the Red Hood but Jason becoming an assassin after all that could have been the perfect recipe for complete chaos and I love that. I think DC could make it work, this last part of the idea is kinda inspired by Young Justice's Jason Todd.

What I would have done if I wrote for DC at the time:

I would have taken Jason away from Bruce! I would have Dick appear out of nowhere and I would have him take Jason with him back to the Titans Tower so they can both be far away from Bruce (at least for a little while).

If this idea sounds familiar it might be because you read another “What if…?” post that I made about what I thought would happen if Jason hadn’t been found by Batman that night when Jason was stealing the Batmobile’s tires. I will link that post here!

This time Dick would obviously be taking Jason with him at a different time and he would actually try to train Jason a little bit more but Dick would also have Jason work on his trauma and then Jason would decide to leave the vigilante/hero life behind. But not completely because I still believe that Jason would still want to save people. He would also be very protective of his brother/best friend Dick Grayson, also known as Nightwing.

I just think that Dick could have handled the situation a lot better than Bruce, he would have made sure that Jason felt like him not being Robin anymore wasn’t because he was a failure but because he can help people in other ways. He would have made him go to therapy and would have been more willing to share his own experiences with him.

I would have Jason studying to become a paramedic again (a different kind of hero) and this time he could also practice on the Titans when they got hurt in battle, if he did that then he could end up being an excellent medic for all superheroes!

I mean, in the Titans there are humans, aliens, metas, amazons and atlanteans. Jason could actually become DC’s very own version of Marvel’s ‘Night Nurse’. I don’t know, I love that idea and I think @hood-ex would like it too!

I just love the idea of Jason and Dick becoming each other's family. The Titans would also become Jason's family but he would be very protective of Dick. I just feel like Jason would have seen the whole thing (of Dick taking him to live together) as a fresh start after such a horrible experience.

I love Red Hood but I also love the idea of Jason becoming something completely different from that and this is one of my favourite ideas!

-

Oh! Before I forget, I think that the idea of Jason becoming Hush in the ‘Death in the Family’ movie comes directly from the fact that Jason “was” Hush for a second in the Batman: Hush comic. That was revealed to us in UtRH, Jason gave the real Hush all the information that he needed to get under Batman’s skin. And then when “Hush” captured Tim and he showed his face that was actually Jason who then changed places with Clayface to confuse Bruce more.

So, yeah, I don’t think DC had planned on making Jason become Hush.

Thank you so much for the ask! I hope the answer was good and that you have a fantastic week!

[nagichi-boop]

Ways me & Submas are similar

Guys I’m not sorry, I gotta self indulge (and answer the question for myself of which twin I relate to more). Also I should note that while I am going to try and stick strictly to canon facts about Submas, some of these will somewhat veer into headcanon territory.

I will include links at the end to a couple of posts by someone who talks in detail about Ingo and Emmet’s personality in the context of them being autistic. This is by no means me suggesting I self dx (tho if you’re a self dxer reading it you’re totally seen and valid!), it’s just that their post includes a lot of references around their personality that I touch on in this post. So if you’re not sure what I’m talking about when I mention an aspect of Submas in a specific piece of media, chances are these posts will include them.

Spoilers for PLA ahead

(Also a few of the points are mildly venty)

Ingo

1. Flat facial expressions

This is mostly covered in Pokémon Masters and the Adventures manga, but Ingo isn’t the best at expressing himself facially. In Pokémas he expresses to the player that he has been told he looks very stern and is shocked when the player tells him that they have never seen him smile.

If I’m deep in thought, I’ll often get someone ask if I’m okay, I guess because I look sad when I’m not rly trying to mask. I also have a specific memory of sitting with my brothers for a picture and trying my best to smile, but my mum told me to smile anyways. I told her I was and one of my brothers told me I needed to stop being depressing. It wasn’t that I was sad (although I don’t particularly like being in photos), it’s just that I can’t really smile on command. I have to be genuinely happy to smile or else I have very awkward expression.

Also this is a side point, but I am bad at showing my emotions I think? For example, if you give me a gift, I have to strain myself to feign excitement. I will usually try and over express in my voice because I’m aware my face probably doesn’t really scream gratitude. I’m not sure if this is more tied to my depression though as it can take quite a bit to get me excited, though I did tear up from happiness when I got my Pokémon Time Sneasel plush so I have no idea. (Please look at pictures of the plush btw, it’s cute as hell- )

2. Loud when excited

Again, Pokémas is the main source of showing this, but when Ingo is excited, he yells “Braavo! Excellent!” very loudly.

Not really much to elaborate on here, but I often get told by my mum to be quiet cuz when I’m excitable (particularly if I’m talking about something that interests me), I start getting loud without realising it.

3. Talk too much about my interests

This is something that both twins share, but Ingo talks a lot about trains, especially when you consider him in Pokémas. I know I keep going back to that game but man does it give us a lot of cool tidbits about the twins.

I struggle a lot with small talk (I’ll touch on this later) but if you ask me a question about something I love and I feel comfortable that you won’t judge me, I will absolutely talk for a long time about such thing. This doesn’t happen much in real life since I hide most of my interests, but as a kid I know I annoyed myself friends because I would often talk about things I liked that they honestly didn’t care or ask about. In a way I’m jealous of Ingo and Emmet because they have each other to talk to about their interests and so aren’t ashamed of it. As for me, I have been unintentionally conditioned by those around me to believe that talking about what I like will make people hate me, so I don’t often get to pop off unless it’s online. Heck, this post is arguably me popping off about an interest.

4. Expressive language to compensate

Unlike Emmet who speaks stiffly (again, coming back to this later), Ingo speaks very formally when he speaks. It’s more apparent in the Japanese translations, but even in the English versions of the BW games, Ingo speaks in much longer sentences and with a more formal tone compared to his brother.

I don’t tend to speak that way because often times in too anxious to go “off script” (another thing I’ll elaborate later), but in terms of written speech, I tend to write a lot more formally in order to give the appearance of maturity. This doesn’t just apply to writing to places like the doctors but also just people in real life. Especially if I’m not comfortable with them, I will often speak in a very “retail person” esc manner - that is to say I try to be friendly and palatable while distancing myself personally in order to seem like a nice person. It’s not that I would say I’m a jerk, it’s just that I’m a lot more goofy and dorky when I don’t put effort into what I’m saying.

5. Speaking in references and puns

This is again something both twins do, but Ingo uses train puns in his everyday vocabulary. This is something that is true across all pieces of media and it just shows how much Ingo (and Emmet) loves trains.

I don’t make train puns, but I definitely do pick up quotes and mannerisms from fictional characters. At school I once said “I’m going to need some more popcorn” as a reference to MLP and to my surprise someone actually picked up on it. I can’t really think of any recent examples of using references in real life, but online I like to try and incorporate things from sources I like. I have started to say “verrry” in messages online and I’m also trialling “cool cool cool”, as a reference to the tv show Community. (If any irl examples come to mind, I’ll edit this section, but I don’t really speak to many people irl and when I do, I try to mask my personality as mentioned earlier.)

Emmet

1. Monotonous speech

I think it’s a bit easier to tell from Emmet’s English lines in Pokémas, but unlike Ingo who is very excitable and expressive in his voice, Emmet seems a lot more subdued. It’s not that he isn’t excited - in fact his facial expressions and body language scream the opposite - but he is a bit more monotonous when he speaks. And though it’s a bit reaching into headcanon territory, it seems possible that Emmet likely tries to “tone down” his excitement so to speak, which may also explain why he isn’t always vocally expressive. (Here’s his Pokémas English voice lines btw.)

If I’m not deliberately putting effort into sounding expressive, I tend to sound quite flat in the way that I speak. It probably doesn’t help much either that I have a rather deep voice. It’s not something I really care about, but when I did a stream a few weeks back on Discord, I did ask later in the stream whether I sounded more feminine or masculine and they said my voice could be interpreted as somewhat neutral. I guess that doesn’t rly mean monotonous, but I definitely sound more “girly” and expressive when I am making an effort to seem social and friendly as opposed to just being myself.

2. Social scripts

In the main series games, Emmet has a very formulated way of speaking. He even says himself that what he says and does doesn’t change, most likely because he scripts what he wants to say so that he is equipped for social situations.

I social script a lot. I often play out situations in my head and try to think of what to say in a variety of different outcomes. And when I speak on the phone, even for very short and simple calls, I often write out a script so that I know what to say as I get very stressed about saying the wrong thing. Even when I don’t expressly have a written script, I tend to repeat certain set phrases in situations. At work, I’d always greet customers with a “hiya”. I did a few times try to change it to “good morning” or “hello”, but I would often chicken out as it felt uncomfortable somehow to switch my greeting. Also, just the other day on the phone, when the doctor was telling me something I kept saying “thank you, that would be really helpful” every time she said what she was going to do to help me. I was aware I was repeating myself, but I couldn’t think of another way to express what I wanted to say.

3. Stimming is verrry fun!!

This is one of those instances where I veer a little into headcanon territory, but a few canon things that Emmet does can be interpreted as stimming. One example is how he walks in the manga. He swings his arms widely as he walks, which is most likely a stim. Him saying “verrry” could also be a sort of verbal stim or tic as well. And although the pointing pose he does with his either is actually a point and call method that train conductors use, some people have pointed out it’s actually quite a fun way to stim.

I don’t really walk like that - in fact my way of walking usually involves me either holding onto my bag straps, fiddling with my hands or doing the good all Raptor Hands ™ because holding my hands by my side feels unnatural to me. But I do stim in other ways! Much like the fandom interpretation of Emmet, I often flap my hands when I am excited, although usually when I notice myself doing it I stop myself. (I’ve had this stim for as long as I can remember, but I never knew what it was and part of me just thought it was silly, so I am now in the habit of stopping myself when I notice I’m flapping my hands.) I also clench my fists and shake them if I’m watching something intense and getting excitable over it. Then there’s other things like fidgeting with my hands, singing, doing a little dance, etc.

4. Losing a brother

I should probably immediately clarify that my brother is alive and well! What I’m speaking of is a metaphorical loss. While we don’t know what Emmet is going through as we haven’t seen anything canon about how he’s coping, how long Ingo has been missing from his life, whether he knows where Ingo is, etc, there’s a lot we can learn about Emmet from other sources. We know from multiple official sources that Emmet looks up to his brother a lot. He constantly praises his brother.

While I actually have two older brothers in real life, I remember being closest to my older brother, so this point is about him. He was the one who looked out for me, who would help me when I was stressed. I looked up to him so much and loved him to bits. But then when he moved out and got married, it almost felt as if he left the family. My family and I rarely get to see him and he doesn’t make much of an effort to reach out to me, either. I remember distinctly looking up at him once and my brain didn’t register his face as familial anymore. It feels like he is an acquaintance now, which is probably reflected a lot in how I talk to him. It’s formal and scripted, much like how I talk to people I’m unfamiliar with. Logically I know he’s my brother, but with my lack of object permanence I have for people and the fact I rarely interact with him anymore, it feels like he’s not my brother anymore. For those who have watched MLP (or even those that haven’t), an appropriate way to sum up how I feel is something Twilight said; “I could have gained a sister, but instead I just lost a brother.”

- x -

Well that was a lot longer than I expected oops. That’s what happens when I’m allowed to pop off about Submas and myself I suppose! Hopefully this was at least interesting to read? But let’s be honest, this is mostly self indulgence to compare myself to and project my own personality onto this beautiful dorks.

Also, I apologise for ending it on a really depressing note, so if you need a pick me up, please read the amazing posts below! It’s a really good analysis of the autistic traits that the twins exhibit and a lot of the points are things I mentioned/referenced in this post.

Links for the autistic Submas analysis posts:

Emmet

Ingo (and Emmet)

[firstofficerwiggles]

Sending a Message

Pairing: Din Djarin x Female Reader

Rating: T, there are sexy situations, i.e. touching, but no actual sex, one use of the f-word, but mostly fluff and some longing

Summary: Basically, you and Din are in a cantina and you need his help to get men to stop hitting on you. You have an established friendship with him but neither of you have expressed your true *romantic* feelings. Enjoy!

Word Count: 2900ish

Author’s note: I love fanfiction and have been reading it for a looong time now, but I finally decided to take the plunge and write one myself. What can I say? Din is very inspiring. It’s very self-indugent and I hope you like it. 

I wrote a Part 2 to this story (18+ version) (T version)

 --------------------------------------------------------------

The child is a sticky mess having eaten his way through a bag of ripe berries as you were trying to keep him occupied so the Mandalorian could suss out information for others of his kind who might know where to find the Jedi.

It’s been roughly three months since you joined the Mandalorian’s crew to help out with the child. You were enamored with the sweet little green baby the moment you saw him with Din in that marketplace back on Tatooine. Stressed and exhausted, Din let you pick up the child and entertain him while he loaded supplies on to a cart. You accompanied the two of them around on the rest of their errands that day, offering helpful advice and somehow gaining the Mandalorian’s trust fast enough to have him offer you a job as the child’s caretaker by the end of the day. You surprised yourself with how quickly you agreed to the arrangement, but in the end, you knew there was nothing left for you on Tatooine but memories and an empty house.

So now here you were, fairly content with your role as nanny to the child, although not quite prepared for how risky travelling with the Mandalorian could be. There were days when you could not believe the situations you found yourself in, yet through it all, you knew you had made the right decision. This was largely in part to the Mandalorian himself. There was just something so undeniably compelling about him. He was an execptional hunter and frankly, a deadly assassin, but he always seemed willing to put his violent skills towards a good cause, no matter how hopeless it may have seemed. But yet, no matter how lethal he could be, he was also so heartbreakingly soft and gentle with his small son, demonstrating a fierce protectiveness that had spread to you too. At first, the Mandalorian wasn’t much of a conversationalist, but little by little, you had begun to get to know him and had fallen into an easy friendship of sorts with him. All well and good, but, the more you knew about him, the more you started to feel an attraction to him. It started slow, and you played it off as just a weakness for his handsome armor and, let’s be honest, his strong, fit physique underneath all that beskar. But then, he started to share small jokes with you, ask you more about yourself, and reveal details about his own life, including his name, Din Djarin. After that, you really couldn’t deny your feelings, but you kept them to yourself not wanting to upset the contented balance you had achieved nor wanting to put him in the uncomfortable position of having to turn you down. Still though, the longing was there, even when you tried to distract yourself.

“Wow, look at you! I think we have a new record, kiddo.” Din has made his way back to you and is gently teasing his son. He scoops him up into his arms and the child coos with glee but also puts his berry-smeared hands all over his father’s shiny armor.

“Oh no! I thought I’d have a chance to clean him up before you returned.” You apologize a little embarassed.

“It’s not a big deal; we’ll take care of it.” Din has accepted the messiness of fatherhood in stride, “Let’s head over to that cantina. We’ll get cleaned up and you two can get some food while we’re there.”

As Din heads to the back of the cantina in search of a fresher to deal with the berry mess, you spy two seats at the bar and carefully make your way through the crowd. Several people, mostly men it seems, smile widely at you as you pass. It’s packed in here, but the warmth of so many bodies together is welcome after the blustery wind that had picked up outside. You shed your heavy cloak and drape it over the back of one of the barstools both so you can save the seat for Din and, you think eagerly, give him the chance to see the pretty dress you decided to wear today. It’s one of your favorites but he hasn’t seen it yet, however, with the cooler weather on this planet you were beginning to think you wouldn’t get a chance to show it off. Not that you should be thinking like that, you roll your eyes at yourself and your silly crush on the stoic Mandalorian. You’re just getting yourself settled at the bar when the bartender places a brightly colored drink in front of you. Confused you say, “I haven’t ordered yet.” as he just points behind you to a burly looking man with a scruffy beard. The man is grinning confidently at you,

“My treat, pretty lady! We rarely get strangers like you in here!”

“Thank you,” you demure, “but I really can’t accept.”

“Nonsense! You go ahead and enjoy and then we can get to know each other.” He winks at you.

“Maybe she’d prefer one of these,” another man has sauntered over, this one a lanky man with a bottle of something in his hand, “I think she might prefer something with more of a bite to it.” His entendre not lost on you, you hold up your hand and shake your head to fend him off when yet a third man tries to get your attention,

“Don’t let these bozos tell you what you want; I’ll get you whatever your heart desires!”

“I can buy my own drink, thanks,” you cut him off, turn back to the bartender, and manage to order your own drink and some food for you and the child, but this last guy is persistent and sleezy, coming over and perching himself on the barstool you were saving for Din. “Hey, I’m saving that for my…” what should you call him? “friend,” you finish lamely.

“Well, no problem, I’m looking forward to meeting her too.” he waggles his eyebrows at you suggestively. Giving him a sarcastic glare, you retort, “I don’t think he’d be interested.”

Things are starting to get out of hand, but thankfully, Din has spotted you amongst your crowd of admirers and with a small, rather amused tilt of his helmet and a bit of a shove, he’s now by your side with the child cooing happily from his satchel. “How about a booth?” he suggests, and you swear you can hear the amusement in his voice.

“Great idea” you reply, hopping down from your stool and snatching your cloak back from the other one.

“Oh c’mon baby, that tin can can’t make you happy like I can” the guy who rudely stole Din’s seat calls after you. Your face erupts in a blush and you hope to hell that Din didn’t hear him amidst the noise of the cantina. The other men voice their frustrations too at your departure. You put your hand on Din’s bicep steering him away from these guys just in case. You don’t need Din starting a bar fight over you. You’re still holding his arm and following Din closely when yet another man comes up to you,

“This Mandalorian isn’t bothering you, baby, is he?” this idiot dares to ask.

“No. He is not.” you grit out as Din says, “She’s fine.” in his best don’t-fuck-with-me voice. It’s lost on this drunk fool though as he just lets out “Woo hoo! She sure is!” and tries to slap your ass, but thankfully you dodge him just in time.

You’re starting to doubt the wisdom in coming into this cantina but now that you’re making it to a booth with Din, you figure you should be all right. The booth has a curved seat following the shape of its round table and as Din places the child in the middle of the seat, he sits down to his right. You slide into your side of the booth opposite Din but before you can get fully seated, a man from the booth right behind you leans over, grabs your wrist and leeringly says, “I got a much better seat for you, mama.” and gestures to his crotch. Repulsed, you slap his hand away and head over to Din’s side of the table. That creep was disgusting but he did give you an idea.

“Will you do me a huge favor?” you ask Din, “Always” he replies instantly. Putting your hand on his shoulder, you climb into his lap while sliding one arm around his neck and then bringing your other hand to rest on his cuirass. You can sense his surprise, yet his arm wraps around your waist instinctively.

“Play along, please?” you whisper to him.

“What are you doing, exactly?” he wants to know.

“Sending a message.” You tuck your head in closer to his in a clearly affectionate way and place a kiss on his helmet where his cheek would be.

“What message would that be?” Din asks still a bit stunned by your actions.

“That I’m yours.” You pause as he absorbs this and then you tell him quietly, “I need you to be a little handsy.”

“Handsy?” he tilts his helmet at you “This feels like a trap.”

“No, I want you to. Be handsy.” You tell him again.

“Ok” he drawls out, “but don’t punch me.”

“I won’t.” You flutter your lashes at him to give the impression to this room of horny strangers that you’re flirting with Din.

Din gives a tiny shrug that you can feel more than see but then brings his free hand up to your face. His gloved hand slowly strokes your cheek as he then lets his fingers trace over your jaw and then down your neck and chest, slowing down even more as he reaches your cleavage and then just gently ghosts his fingers between your breasts before resting his hand just beneath them. You feel your breath hitch and get caught in your throat at the intimacy of his touch and you have to remind yourself that this is just for show, just to get these losers to stop hitting on you. Reminding yourself of the message you want to send, you wonder if this is too subtle. You need to make this definitive.

“Be a little more obvious,” you tell Din, the blush returning to your cheeks, I can’t believe I’m doing this.

“More?” Din tries to confirm, “What do you have in mind?”

“Put your hand up my skirt.”

“Ok, now that is definitely a trap.” he chuckles lightly.

“Do it. Put your hand up my skirt,” you practically demand.

“Well, I’m not going to say no to that,” he responds appearing to be amused by this whole situation. He takes his hand, starts to play with the hem of your dress, and then slowly starts to slide his hand up your thigh under your skirt kneading gently as he goes. You feel like you are dying, it is so sensual and so exactly what you have been dreaming of for weeks now. You knew he would be good at this and it’s killing you that it’s just an act. You squirm a little in his lap unable to help yourself and you think you can feel his own arousal, but you tell yourself you must be imagining it.

Din cannot believe this is happening, how is he this lucky? When he caught sight of the men hitting on you at the bar, he figured it was inevitable that you’d be surrounded by would-be suitors and he cursed himself for leaving you alone in a place like this even for a few minutes. A quick scan of the room showed him that you were absolutely the most beautiful woman there. Not that he was surprised, as he’s rarely seen anyone as stunningly gorgeous as you in his opinion. Plus, given this sexy dress you have on, he’s lucky he didn’t have to pry one of them off you. He noticed it right away before you left the ship earlier and had to put on your cloak, but he was hoping to keep that sight to himself. He knows he shouldn’t think of you that way, but he has given up trying to ignore his feelings for you. It’s not just your beauty, but who you are as a person. He’s never met anyone who’s so easy to talk to and who treats him with such respect and kindness. It shocks him how strongly he trusts you and the way he’s let down his guard around you. You might not realize it but you are the best friend he’s ever had, and although he wants more, he’s not quite ready to risk your friendship. If he messes this up, you might see him as just another jerk hitting on you.

Speaking of, Din figured his intimidating presence would keep the jerks away once he got back over to you, but these fools had clearly never met a Mandalorian before because they didn’t have the good sense to leave you alone even when he was standing right next to you. He had been sure he was going to have to punch the creep that grabbed you but then you were sitting in his lap before he had a chance to stand up and defend you. And now, now, he was cuddling with you in the middle of this crowded cantina, touching you in ways he hadn’t let himself dare to think about. He didn’t need the child’s powers to feel the waves of sheer envy coming off of the men in the room. He smirked to himself under his helmet, letting his hand slide up even higher on your thigh than he would have dared but just because he could.

You are becoming entirely swept away by Din’s ministrations on your thigh, and you hear yourself sighing his name, making him smile even more unbeknownst to you.

“Hmm?” he responds gently

“I--,” but you’re cut off by the waiter finally bringing the food.

“Here’s your order, sir” the waiter gives Din a look that is both impressed and jealous as you hide your face in Din’s neck mortified that you have gotten so carried away with this charade.

“Thanks.” Din tells him, slowly removing his hand from under your dress. You slide off his lap into the booth next to him so you can eat. Din keeps his arm wrapped around your shoulders though and you’re still pressed up against his side. You turn away slightly towards the child who has been amusing himself somehow all this time. You give yourself a chance to regain your composure as you focus on giving him some food. You had started to forget the kid was even there and you feel your face flushing again at your shameless behavior. You take a deep breath and remind yourself that this was necessary, and as you glance around the cantina, you can see that no one is paying attention to you anymore. Your message was clearly received. You sigh to yourself and start to eat your dinner.

Din is relaxed and is enjoying the feel of his arm around you. Every so often, his other hand finds its way to your forearm and brushes over your wrist and hand, not quite trying to holding your hand but almost just to remind you that he’s there. It’s flirtatious and romantic in a way that you both love and can’t stand because you know you just want him to keep doing it. You finish your food slowly trying to find a way to prolong this interlude as much as you can, even if it’s not real. Din notices when you’re done though and says, “Ready to head back to the Crest?” You nod at him, knowing it’s for the best and figuring he must be hungry too. You pick up the child and slide out of the booth following Din. He takes the baby from you and secures him in his satchel before reaching back to take your hand. Din threads his fingers through yours and leads you out of the cantina before the jealous eyes of all the other men who tried to claim you for their own earlier. He holds your hand all the way back to the ship and you let yourself bask in the moment, imagining the two of you as a real couple.

Once you’re back on the ship, you busy yourself with putting the child to bed. He’s already drowsy and practically asleep when you get him secure in his hammock. When you turn back around, Din is just watching you, standing there. You can’t imagine what he’s thinking. You suppose you should give him some privacy, let him have a chance to eat his own dinner, but before you do, you figure you ought to say something after all that.

“Thank you, for doing… for helping me out,” you feel rather flustered and it’s making you babble, “back there.” “I just couldn’t get those guys to bug off.”

“It was my pleasure,” he responds rather cheekily, “I figured I was going to get into a bar brawl, but I liked your idea a hell of a lot better.” He tilts his helmet at you and you can swear that you can hear the smile in his voice.

“Well, thank you, again” you say softly. He steps closer to you and you’re practically touching him as he looks down at you and says with a chuckle, “Any time you need me to feel you up again, just let me know.”

And before you can stop yourself, you blurt out, “I will.”

He laughs and tips his head down to you, “Message received.”

---------------------------------------------------------

[learnfromwebtoons]

Lesson 10: Drawing distinct characters

Today’s Lesson: Drawing distinct characters

Today’s Teacher: Lore Olympus by Rachel Smythe

How do you design characters that are appealing, serve your story and are easy for readers to remember?

Lore Olympus is the most popular Webtoon on the international version of the app and has been optioned for a TV show by the Jim Henson Company, so if you haven’t heard of it yet you may be living under a rock. It’s a “modern” (although the humans are still in ancient times even though the gods are living in modern times for some reason?) retelling of the Hades and Persephone myth in which Hades is a 2000 year old immortal but Persephone is literally 19 (but also immortal). It has a lot of issues, but today we’re focusing on the character designs!

How many different characters are shown in this image? (I compiled this one myself but I got the idea from Bea on twitter to give credit where it’s due)

Go ahead and guess!

Did you guess right?

(The character in the top right is not the same as the character directly to the left of her even though they are almost the exact same color.)

These character designs are not distinct enough to be easily told apart without the use of color coding- they have very similar face shapes and features (eyes, eyebrows, noses, mouths). The distances between their features are consistent, which adds to the feeling that you’re seeing the same face in different colors. They also have fairly similar body types: thin but not flat-chested, fit but not too buff, rounded and feminine.

The early episodes of Lore Olympus exaggerate Persephone’s curves to the point that I was uncomfortable reading them, because they reminded me of that tumblr post that’s like “she breasted boobily down the stairs.”

It gets less extreme as the comic continues, for which I am grateful, but I don’t believe this level of gratuitous sexualization is necessary in a romance comic where the reader is expected to identify with the object being sexualized.

When making a long-running comic with a lot of different characters, you need to make characters the reader can tell apart at a glance. Some ways to go about this which Lore Olympus tends to not do include: different face shapes, different body types, and different facial features.

Another part of character design is the body language a character uses. One of the reasons comics are so hard to make is the artist is expected to be not just a character designer but also an actor playing the role of every single character in the comic. 

Note how all four of these different characters are standing in almost the exact same pose, their hips cocked to one side and their cleavage visible (for everyone except Psyche, second from the left). Smythe uses this pose a lot throughout the comic, although it gets less extremely exaggerated over time. 

Different characters with different personal backgrounds and personalities should stand differently- a proud archer isn’t going to lean to one side to talk to her friend the same way as a human trying to flirt with a god. Different emotions call for different poses. 

Exercise: Redesign the Greek pantheon yourself! Or, if you feel that’s cliche, try designing a line up of characters based on: the Solar system, chess pieces, a deck of playing cards, the tarot, internet websites (the last one is a joke for people who have been on tumblr since 2011 but you can do it for real if you want).

Some things to consider when designing: are the characters you’re drawing related to each other, and if so, how much do you want them to resemble each other for readers to pick up on that relationship? What clothes do they wear, and why do they wear them? (work/school uniforms, want to look nice, don’t care about fashion, etc) Are they short or tall, lanky or stocky, fat or thin, athletic or not? 

Can you tell each character in your lineup apart from every other character in your lineup without coloring them in? How about by silhouette alone?

Webtoon Rec of the Day:

Cursed Princess Club is a comic all about appearances, and its characters are very distinct because of it. I also appreciate the designs of the different themed kingdoms. It’s lacking in body type diversity, but it’s a pretty fun comic with a lot of heart to it, and I appreciate it overall.

Surviving Romance is really good, I love it a lot, and it has such diverse character designs for its core cast. The protagonist is reincarnated as the protagonist of a romance novel that suddenly turned into a zombie apocalypse story (with a bonus time loop mechanic), and to make it out alive she has to learn to see her classmates as people and not just the mindless background extras to her story. And her classmates are all extremely distinct and interesting people.

This one’s a Canvas comic but when I think of good character acting, Humor Me is the first thing to come to mind. (I don’t know how much I recommend it for character design in general because I thought two different characters were the same character for a significant amount of chapters, but the character acting is spot on and the jokes are pretty funny.)

[giuliafc]

His Biggest Ambition - Snippet July/LadyNoir July day 5 - Ambition/Milk

Ao3 || FFN

His Biggest Ambition

Written by: JuliaFC

Beta: Malauu_Ladynoir, @rose-beagle-bagel

Summary: Trying to build team spirit, Ladybug, Chat Noir, Carapace and Rena Rouge get together for a session of Truth or Drink... with a twist. A few rounds on, one of the questions opens a whole can of worms. Written for the Snippet July/LadyNoir July. Day 5 - Ambition/Milk (story wordcount 999 words)

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by (c) Thomas Astruc, TS1 Bouygues, Disney Channel, Zagtoon, Toei Animation. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Written for the "Snippet July" challenge of the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server @miraculousfanworks AND for LadyNoir July @ladynoirjuly. Day 5 — Ambition/Milk. I tried to be original. Let me know what you think!

oOoOoOoOoOo

"CAMEL’S MILK?" shouted Chat Noir.

Rena gave him a smooth look. "Well, nobody picked this option from my poll so..."

"Where did you get it?" asked Chat again. "I tried it once and it was disgusting!"

"Believe me, I know!" Rena grimaced. "Ni—my boyfriend's family brought some from Morocco. It felt like drinking smoke."

"Yeah." Chat groaned. "A friend made me try it once; ugh, I wished I hadn't."

"Soooooo... it's purr-fect!" Rena winked at his glare.

"Hey! That's my line!" Chat pouted, but when everyone laughed, he joined the hilarity.

Ladybug was the first to get serious. "Rena, what's about the milk, and why did you gather us here on a non-patrol night?"

Rena sighed. "A little birdie—" She poked Carapace. "—made me realise that although we've become part of your team on a quasi permanent basis, we know nothing about each other."

"And that's how it should be!" Ladybug groaned. "The less we know the better, to protect our secret identities."

"Come on, Ladybug. You know my identity and Carapace's." Rena looked at her meaningfully and raised an eyebrow. "Some people may feel treated like outcasts."

The quick movement of her chin towards him, as she folded her arms to her chest, went nearly unnoticed by the black clad superhero, but not Ladybug's reaction. She stood up, grabbed Rena and pulled her aside, a bit too far for him to hear their conversation. After a long whispered argument, finally Ladybug returned to her seat.

"Okay, you have a point."

Rena fiddled with her fingers in an excited gesture of victory. "Game's called 'Truth or Drink'." She smirked. "Since we're all minors, we can't drink alcohol. Hence, the camel's milk."

"Ugh." Chat Noir sighed. "What do we need to do?"

"Here, there's a list of carefully selected questions." She slammed a bunch of small papers in between them. "Which we'll answer truthfully. If you don't want to answer," she said, moving a thermos to the centre of the circle, "you drink the milk."

Three sets of disgusted faces stared back. "What?" she inquired.

"No identity revealing questions, I hope?" Ladybug made to grab some papers, but Rena slapped her hand.

"Aha. Don't peek."

"But you know…" protested Ladybug.

"Incorrect." tsked Rena. "My sisters selected the questions, not me."

Chat Noir didn't think it was a good idea initially. But, as the questions rolled on and everyone struggled to find unrevealing but truthful answers, he realised that it was fun. And it did make Rena and Carapace, and even Ladybug herself, become more real.

"Are you with us, Chaton?" Ladybug's question woke him from his réverie.

"Oh, sorry. Is it my turn?"

Carapace nodded. "Yes, dude. What's your ambition?"

"Winning against Papillon isn't an option, obviously," pointed out Rena. "Mine is to become an award winning journalist."

Chat Noir looked at Rena and lifted his eyebrow. That sounded familiar.

"Mine's to become a famous DJ," said Carapace. ‘That sounds familiar too’, thought Chat Noir. His eyes became small slits in his face as he shot a suspicious look at the two heroes. But seconds later, his focus moved to Ladybug, who was busy tapping a finger to her chin.

"I suppose," she mumbled, "my ambition is to be a good leader." She paused for a long time, and then her gaze met his. "And as a leader, I should admit when I'm wrong." She cupped a hand to his cheek, causing him to blush. "I'm sorry I made you feel like an outcast, Chaton. It was never my intention. I promise, I'll include you more."

He squeezed her hand. "Thank you, M'lady. I… know that it's hard for you. I don't blame you. But, to tell the truth..." He glanced at Rena and at the daunting thermos. "It hurt me because I felt useless… and invisible." Chat saw her concerned frown and lowered his gaze. He couldn't believe he was going to say that in front of Rena and Carapace, but, after all, the only person that mattered to him was her and he needed her to know. "My ambition; wh—" His voice cracked, he cursed under his breath. "What I really want is to be seen, for who I am."

"Oh, mon Minou," started Ladybug, stroking his cheek. Chat Noir grabbed her hand and held it.

"I know, LB. We're superheroes, nobody can see the real person behind the suit. That's not what I mean. Every day in my civilian life, I wear masks. I'm used to wearing so many that I don't know anymore where the mask ends and where the person beneath starts. My fath—uh, family only cares about me being perfect and that's what I let people around me see of me. That's why I find being Chat Noir so elating; it's a version of myself that I chose to show. For a long time, I thought Chat Noir was the real me." He hugged his knees. "But recently, somebody made me realise that it's not true. This..." He pointed at himself. "This is me, when I act like a clown. She was right—I'm not a clown. I'm not confident, I'm not brave… I don't know who I am and… my biggest ambition is finding myself and having the courage to let the people I love see the real me."

When he finished saying that, he dared look at her and the tears in Ladybug's eyes warmed his heart. Speechless, she wrapped him in a hug.

"I'm sorry, Chat Noir," she whispered. "I had no idea you felt this way! I should've noticed. I'm so sorry!" She looked him in the eye and placed a soft kiss on his cheek that made his heart flutter. "I promise, Chaton. I'll help you. We can work together and find the real you."

"You and me against the world?" he said with a shy smile.

She nodded and showed her fist to him to bump. "Pound it?"

He smiled and bumped her fist with his. "Pound it, M'lady."

-------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note

Whop, whop, here's day 5! Yes, I know… right on the feels again. And yes, Rena and Carapace are still there, feeling a bit out of place but… well, there you go. I had no words left to spare. I suppose that when identities will be disclosed eventually, he will have an even stronger support network ^^.

I hope you liked the story and will leave me a comment. You know that comments are my bread and butter!

Until (hopefully) tomorrow, bug out!

[feanor]

a guide to fëanorian names

it can be really hard to navigate the silm fandom and read certain fanfics when u don’t know who’s who (i know, i’ve been there. and probably some of those fanfics are ones i’ve written). so without further ado:

1. fëanor

names he has: fëanor, fëanáro, curufinwë

what do they mean?

fëanor: fëanáro but make it sindarin

fëanáro: spirit of fire!

curufinwë: skilled finwë

notes: fëanáro is his mother name, so given by míriel therindë. curufinwë is his father name, so given by finwë. less commonly in some fics, he might be nicknamed náro.

2. nerdanel

names she has: nerdanel, istarnië

what do they mean?

nerdanel: idk jirt never said

istarnië: the wise

notes: technically istarnië is the rejected original version of her name, although i’ve seen some refer to her by it. nerdanel is definitely recognisable name. also: nerdanel if ur out there marry me please

3. maedhros

names he has: maedhros, maitimo, nelyafinwë, nelyo, russandol

what do they mean?

maedhros: sindarised mix of maitimo and russandol

maitimo: well-formed (read: hot)

nelyafinwë: third finwë (read: fuck you fingolfin)

nelyo: shortened version of nelyafinwë

russandol: russet-top, redhead

notes: maitimo is his mother name and nelyafinwë his father name. you’ll often find nelyo in fics where the sons of fëanor are casually conversing with each other or in valinor-set fics. russandol is usually used in fic by fingon and that name makes up half the term russingon, if you were wondering where the hell the silm fandom got that particular ship name. maedhros also has the most names among the songs of fëanor. or anyone tbh.

4. maglor

names he has: maglor, makalaurë, kanafinwë, káno

what do they mean?

maglor: name interpreted as a sindar version of makalaurë

makalaurë: gold-cleaver

kanafinwë: strong-voiced finwë

káno: shortened version of kanafinwë, but also means commander!

notes: makalaurë is his mother name, kanafinwë his father name. like nelyo, you’ll often find káno where the sons of fëanor are speaking casually or in valinor-set fics. the sons of fingolfin also have ‘káno’ as parts of their quenya names, though, so watch out for that! (its not very common to see anyone call all of them by the same name tho)

5. celegorm

names he has: celegorm, tyelkormo, turkafinwë, tyelko/turko

what do they mean?

celegorm: sindar variant of tyelkormo

tyelkormo: hasty-riser

turkafinwë: strong finwë

tyelko/turko: shortened versions of tyelkormo and turkafinwë

notes: tyelkormo is the mother name and turkafinwë the father name. tyelko and turko are in the same boat as nelyo and kano. technically turko is the proper nickname but a lot of people prefer tyelko (myself included) because it sounds less like ‘turkey’ or otherwise.

6. caranthir

names he has: caranthir, carnistir, morifinwë, moryo

what do they mean?

caranthir: sindarised version of carnistir

carnistir: red-faced

morifinwë: dark finwë

moryo: shortened version of morifinwë

notes: carnistir is the mother name, morifinwë the father name. moryo is the nickname (see: nelyo)

7. curufin

names he has: curufin, atarinkë, curufinwë, curvo

what do they mean?

curufin: curufinwë but make it short & sindarised

atarinkë: little father

curufinwë: skilled finwë

curvo: short form of curufinwë

notes: in short? dad junior. i’m sure at this point you can tell which parent gave him which name. for inquiries about curvo, see moryo.

8. celebrimbor

names he has: celebrimbor, tyelperinquar

what do they mean?

celebrimbor: sindarised version of tyelperinquar

tyelperinquar: silverfist

tyelpë: shortened version of tyelperinquar

notes: we’re not actually sure if tyelperinquar is his mother name or his father name. i like to think that it’s his mother name and that his father name is curufinwë, just to keep the name in the family u know? but to each their own. tolkien gateway says it’s his father-name but i don’t buy it. (and if someone wants to tell me it’s true, well, i don’t care.)

9. amrod

names he has: amrod, ambarussa, umbarto, ambarto, pityafinwë, pityo

what do they mean?

amrod: sindarisation of ambarto

ambarussa: top-russet (because he has red hair)

umbarto: the fated

ambarto: upwards-exalted

pityafinwë: small finwë

pityo: shortened version if pityafinwë

notes: in the legendarium, nerdanel gives both twins the name ambarussa. fëanor is like ‘babe they should have different names’ so she names amrod umbarto. fëanor is Freaked Out by the meaning of umbarto and changes it to ambarto. i dont believe in this part of the silm and therefore these names because this is the version where amrod dies at losgar, but some people use it. for pityo, see: curvo. ambarussa and pityafinwë are, you guessed it, mother and father names.

10. amras

names he has: amras, ambarussa, telufinwë, telvo

what do they mean?

amras: sindarin version of ambarussa

ambarussa: russet-top

telufinwë: last finwë

telvo: shortened form of telufinwë

notes: for telvo, see pityo. ambarussa and telufinwë are mother names and father names, respectively.

thank you for coming to my tedtalk. i hope this was useful!

[xiyao-feels]

new tu and xiyao fan from earlier. i searched ao3 as per your suggestion and there's only 500 or so fics for them. :( however, i do have a legit question - what are the differences between mdzs and tu (i've never read the latter). and if you want expand on nieyao (or xiyao) please feel free! i love reading meta! one of the few reasons i miss old school fandom spaces lol. thank you!! :D

Hmmm, I see about eight hundred if I limit to English? But I take your point! But that was just as a way to start; once you do find an author you like, you can look at their bookmarks, for example. (Also I'm not sure if you're familiar with the AO3, but if not, sorting by kudos when doing a general search is a way to get stuff that at least lots of people thought was good. I'm not saying it's perfect, but when you're starting in a fandom it can be better than the default by-date-updated.)

Also I'll take the opportunity to plug my absolute favourite xiyao author, roquen. I didn't mention them last time because they haven't I believe written a post-canon fixit, and you should know that they're mostly sticking to MDZS instead of CQL canon, although with some sprinkling of CQL elements and characterization. Some particular favourites of mine include their AtLA AU and their Sunshot/on the run fics (both series with a couple of short fics), their what you might call a mid-temple hopeful fix-it (divergence where LWJ strikes to kill and LXC takes the blow), the baby LXC fic ("Lan Xichen reverts to being a fifteen-year-old junior, and immediately gets an epic crush on Lianfang-zun"; disclaimer that I was fairly involved with the creation of this one but it's GREAT) and, of course, above all, their gigantic canon fix-it verse, it's worth it every time. It's SO GOOD and the characterization is fantastic and the prose is excellent and UGH. It's so good!!!!! Disclaimer that the second fic in the series, which is the main work, is still WIP, but roquen updates regularly and there are only a couple of chapters left; if you're still wary of WIPs, I'd at least recommend the first fic, which stands alone and is brilliant in its own right.

As to the differences between MDZS and CQL…ho boy. There are quite a few, both major and minor, and I'm by no means familar with all of them—especially the ones that don't involve 3zun, lol. I tried to google around but unfortunately the ones I found tended to be either short or, if more in-depth, contain inaccuracies about JGY/LXC—I think people tend to be more interested in the Wangxian, and then this stuff goes by the wayside. The wiki can be a good source for differences for specific incidents, and although I think it's not always accurate it /does/ usually cite chapter or episode, which can be pretty helpful. 

This, by hualiann, looks like a good overview, though I'd add that JYL, WQ and WN didn't study at Cloud Recesses in the novel and that more generally MDZS has a lot of actual undead.

In general my advice is to take things people say about the novel with a large grain of salt, myself included. And about CQL, too! I have no idea if this is you but when I joined the fandom, if people asserted stuff about CQL I tended to just kind of take it as fact—oh, I thought, I must have misremembered! My memory is pretty terrible, and honestly there was absolutely stuff I did misremember. But also sometimes other people misremember, or fanon gets taken as canon, and then there's stuff like—I mean, I'm certainly not going to blame people for not realizing that "JGY conspired with XY at the Unclean Realm" is a lot more uncertain than you might guess at first, especially if they're more Wangxian focused which most people in the fandom are, but I'm still not going to present it as straight-up fact. (veliseraptor has a recent post examining this here which I would very much recommend).

Honestly I think I'd recommend reading the MDZS NMJ Empathy flashback—chapters 48, 49, and the beginning of 50. That gets you a lot of the JGY, LXC and NMJ backstory, and then you can compare for yourself! I'm also going to recommend Mercy's thread, here, listing common fanons about MDZS (I will add to the list, since it's a bugbear of mine, the idea that LXC recognized NMJ's fierce corpse by his abs).

Okay with all that out of the way, and in no particular order, Sun's extremely idiosyncratic and particularly- aka mostly JGY-focused differences list:

-In MDZS, LXC doesn't become Sect Leader until the burning of Cloud Recesses by the Wen, when his father is injured and then succumbs to his wounds. In CQL, he's Sect Leader from the beginning of the show, his father having apparently died not too long before the show started.

-In MDZS, MY wasn't working for the Nie at all before the beginning of Sunshot; he joined the Nie forces just after Sunshot began. NMJ didn't instantly promote him to be his deputy when he's telling at the Nie men for bad-mouthing him; it takes a few more encounters and/or battles with the Wen (after which MY clears the battlefield and helps the commoners).

-In MDZS, xiyao's first meeting happens when LXC is on the run with the Lan books after the burning of Cloud Recesses. We don't see it happen on the page, and we don't know any details of that time beyond, like, MY helped LXC.

-NMJ willingly sends MY away from the Nie, with a letter of recommendation for JGS, after, uh, an extended overhearing of a conversation between MY and LXC wherein MY's desire to be recognized by his father and gain a proper place in the Jin, the opportunity offered for that by JGS recruiting talent at Langya, and the possible difficulty of obtaining permission from NMJ are all established. 

-NMJ sees MY stabbing a /Jin/ captain, at Langya, after he goes looking for MY. Rather than taking a blow for NMJ, MY stabs himself, faking suicide, then immobilizes NMJ (who's trying to save his life) and flees. This is because NMJ wants MY to go turn himself in for killing the captain; MY thinks they'll kill him, while NMJ says that if the captain has actually been mistreating MY as MY said, MY won't be killed. Personally I think that all the evidence suggests that MY is right, and NMJ is blind to the effects of his position to the extent it's a not insignificant moral failure.

-Okay, so, you know how in CQL MY stabs WRH while he's distracted with WWX, outside on the steps with the Sunshot alliance right outside? In /MDZS/, they're in the Sun Palace, WWX isn't anywhere near the place, he does it to save NMJ's life, and then he starts lugging NMJ's unconscious body out of the palace. And then NMJ comes to consciousness amd demands his sabre and tries to kill him. He likely only survives because of NMJ's wounds, and if LXC hadn't shown up (responding to a message MY sent for aid for NMJ) NMJ might easily have killed him. If you want a more in-depth analysis, I take a close look here in my response to someone's, er, imaginative interpretation of NMJ and JGY's relationship in MDZS.

-In CQL, NMJ's qi deviation happens at the stairs incident. In MDZS, it happens later, when he overhears JGY being upset to LXC about how NMJ treated him at the stairs, and, overcome with rage that JGY would dare (arguably in combination with being polite and pleasant to NMJ's face, although the last time he was confrontational to NMJ's face NMJ kicked him down the stairs and tried to kill him so), he kicks open the door and tries to kill him. He also kills several people as he's qi deviating (seeing them as JGY—while in CQL he also sees several JGYs they seem to be just illusions), and injures NHS.

-In MDZS, NMJ sets fire to all of NHS' nice things. I don't think we're told either way in CQL, although it's worth noting that in MDZS this happens after the stairs (and before JGY starts playing for him again). (I think they do something in FJ?? But I don't take FJ as canon for CQL; see confusion-and-more's post here).

-In CQL, JGY suggests to NMJ that he's always played the corrupted Clarity for him (though granted this is in Empathy, so it's hard to say for sure if this is what he actually said, but in any case it's the only version we're given). In MDZS, it's strongly indicated that JGY only started playing Turmoil for NMJ /after/ the stairs—there's a variety of evidence, but I think the most objective is that WWX, who in MDZS Empathy can literally feel NMJ's anger, actually observes it working beforehand:

Since [JGY started playing for NMJ], Jin GuangYao would travel from Lanling to Qinghe every few days, playing Sound of Lucidity to help quell Nie MingJue rage. He tried his hardest, without speaking even a single word of complaint. Sound of Lucidity was indeed effective. Wei WuXian could clearly feel that the hostile energy within Nie MingJue was being suppressed.

(Exiled Rebels translation, ch. 49)

And then the next scene is the stairs incident, so.

-In general, the degree to which JGY's position is completely awful is played down in CQL. confusion-and-more talks about it a bit here; I'd also note that some of JGY's dialogue defending himself is removed ( “Some trivial achievements?” He spoke in a shaking voice, “…What do you mean, some trivial achievements? ChiFeng-Zun, do you know how much work I put into such trivial achievements? How much I suffered? Glory? Without the handful of glory I have nothing!”, for example), we don't hear about his mother at the guqin scene, the temple flashback where his mother is dragged naked outside by a client and he's kicked down the brothel stairs is eliminated, etc etc.

-There is absolutely no second flutist in MDZS; also JGY tells us in the temple that QS was already pregnant before he found out about the incest. I think even in CQL it's questionable whether he actually intended to kill Zixuan (see this whole conversation), and significant unveiling or no CQL never actually says QS wasn't pregnant before their marriage so I tend to go with that too, but certainly it's easy to walk away with the impression that he definitely did both deliberately, especially if you aren't familiar with the novel.

-(In general, I think CQL JGY is a lot more sympathetic than most people think once you look closely, but he's also very much set up to look upon a more casual watching as Villain, so.)

-In CQL it's All A-Yao All The Time but in MDZS we see LXC calling him san-di after the sworn brotherhood, and then it's back to A-Yao in the present day (see my last addition on this chain here).

-In MDZS, JGY doesn't shove JL out of the way of the incoming attack.

-The LXC lifting JGY out of his bow thing is from CQL

-The watchtowers! Oh /man/ the watchtowers. God the watchtowers are so much. Uh, confusion-and-more has a post about how much they're mentioned in MDZS vs CQL here, and see my last addition to this thread for an argument that the watchtowers were indeed a force for good. God. Twelve hundred watchtowers. He must have saved so many lives...

-confusion-and-more's watchtower post also reminds me that CQL has the Guanyin temple giving out medicine, while MDZS does not

-The episode 23 scene where Sect Leaders Jin, Nie, and Lan agree to spare some of the Wen doesn't exist in MDZS (though I'll take the opportunity to observe that I disagree with popular interpretations of that scene, see point three here).

-In MDZS NMJ's fierce corpse is literally trying to kill JGY, there's no saber spirit. And like, it's been trying to kill JGY for a long damn time, that's why JGY dismembered him.

-The XY plotline—in MDZS, JGY recommends a young XY (who at thay point has a reputation but is not known to have committed any massacres) as a Jin cultivator, as part of an effort by JGS to recreate the Yin Tiger Seal. JGS has multiple people trying, but most of them aren't getting anywhere and XY is getting furthest. It's during this time that XY kills the Chang clan, and is discovered as guilty by XXC, who brings up the evidence at a conference happening in Lanling; the Jin are stalling, MMJ gets angry and shows up, he almost kills XY on the spot and gives JGS a lecture such that he's forced to relent and sentence XY to death (and incidentally scares JGY, imho quite seriously, while he's at it). Then JGS turns it into life imprisonment once NMJ has left, and then NMJ is extremely angry and attacks JGY at the stairs. (Ch. 30 and 118)

-I mentioned before but I'll add it here too: in CQL JGY asks LXC to stay and die with him, and LXC agrees.

-The CQL ending in general is...hmmm. Despite having most of the elements which complicate MDZS' ending (JL is in a terrible position!), it kind of presents as...happy ending all is fixed now? In MDZS I think it's presented as—more complicated, even though Wangxian do very much get their happy ending.

-Also LWJ is a lot less. uh. Okay, so in CQL he's more Mr Morality, and in MDZS it's much more Wei Ying Right Or Wrong. Also, he doesn't become Chief Cultivator in MDZS! I think that's my least favourite change, because it's like...LWJ hates politics, hates compromise, and never attends the cultivation conferences. At least one of 'this is going to be a major diisaster' and 'LWJ is going to have to go through some significant shifts in his worldview and approach' are going to have to happen, but that's not the vibe CQL gives off at all, and I think it really works against some of the major themes of the text :/

-OH RIGHT I knew I was forgetting something—in MDZS MXY's revenge is focused solely on the Mo; JGY is not part of the curse.

Okay I don't want to go too much on about xiyao or nieyao, because this is already quite long and I don't want you to be waiting forever, but broadly although I certainly think NMJ cares about JGY a great deal it seems to be about his competence and potential; he doesn't really seem to, like, actually like who he is as a person. JGY, meanwhile, is at first very grateful to and then increasingly exasperated by and very much fucking terrified of NMJ, but...well, he doesn't seem to be into him or interested in spending time with him for the sake of it or etc etc.

On the other hand—xiyao. Man, xiyao!!!! They just—they get each other so fast, they're /partners/, they work together so well, they like and they respect each other, they're both like—LXC and MS are on their own tier for JGY, LWJ and JGY are on their own tier for LXC, they're for each other in a way neither is for anyone else, they care a lot about the same things—it's not perfect overlap, obviously, but it's more overlap I think than either has with anyone else, they—invest, they're builders, JGY was planning the watchtowers project from way back and although I have no doubt he was driving it LXC was with him and!!!! ugh!!!!! xiyao are REALLY GREAT, okay.

[reincarnatedladywarrior]

WHAT THE SOCIETY DON’T WANT US TO KNOW ABOUT LOVE

Free encyclopedias on the web would define love as a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure. But come and think of it, love is not an instinct. Love is a skill. And when we say skill, it needs to be learned. A skill that the society refuses to consider as a skill. We are meant to always follow our feelings. And if you keep following your feelings, you will certainly always commit big mistakes in your life. Who wants that? No one wants that. No one wants to end up with the wrong person. Nobody wants to feel like they have been sentenced to life imprisonment by marrying the wrong person.

Unfortunately, it is primarily because people tend to idealize love just like what fairy tale movies try to project on our screens ─ an image of a perfect love where there’s a king and queen living in a castle that is bound to have a happily ever after. But in real life, that’s definitely not always the case. Love is more than just a feeling or a mutual chemistry. It is to love someone with charity and generosity in interpreting someone’s behavior; a constant recognition of ambivalence between the good and bad traits that exist in human nature. Hence, while growing up, we tend to associate an ideal partner to the idea of a good person we have created in our minds from an unconscious attempt of assessing our parents and separating their nice and unpleasant characteristics. Then, we’ll make a pretty long list of good traits that we’re looking for, only the good ones of course. But by doing so, we tend to neglect the mere fact that bad traits are also included in the package. The truth is, a ‘perfect person’ don’t and never exist and is more like a conceptual theory postulated by blind hopeless romantics.

None of us are perfect and we don’t need be perfect to love and be loved. The demand for perfection will lead you to only one thing ─ loneliness. So, one should not find a perfect person to be happy but a perfect person to suffered with in a familiar way that will help you define what genuine happiness really means. Because whether we like it or not, at some point in our lives, everyone will hurt us and all we need is to find someone worthy of the pain that is intertwined with loving. You cannot have perfection and company at the same time because to be in a company with another is negotiating imperfection every day.

Meanwhile, sulking seems to be a reflection of people’s desire to be understood by another individual. Because that’s how love was taught and how we think love should be ─  filled with understanding. That’s right but on its own detriment that’s also the reason why when a person doesn’t understand us, we get disappointed, sad or in rage. We shouldn’t expect someone to read our minds and do something that we wanted them to do for us then invalidate their feelings when they don’t act a certain way that we wanted them to behave. Love requires open communication and a cycle of giving and getting; not only an absolute selfless act of kindness towards another being. Because without communication only endless catastrophe awaits.

On the other hand,  it is also crucial to take note that love is not all about gifting someone all sorts of nice things that you could offer, although it’s considered as one of many love languages out there. On top of all of that, to love is to be a teacher and a learner. ‘If-you-love-me, you-should-accept-all-of-me’ line should be stigmatized as a sign of true love. True love is not just about accepting the way your lover is. It is accepting the truth that love has a role of transforming one another to become the best version of themselves to maintain a healthy relationship. Having said that, it’s a little ticklish but one should learn how to accept the fact that when someone tells you something about yourself, they’re not attacking you. They’re trying to make you a better person and we don’t normally believe that because it hurts our pride to actually take a look inside ourselves to find the truth…that the other person wants to educate us and it isn’t a criticism. Criticism is merely a wrong word to apply to a much nobler idea which is to try to make us better but we tend to reject this idea very strongly. Not unless it’s nothing but a below the belt statement or an insult in disguised of a joke, well then stand your ground. But sometimes you have to bear in mind that an angry person is not always what they see to appear, some of them are secretly and deeply sad pessimists. And this only further emphasizes someone’s need to hone behavioral interpretative skill in order to love properly.

Incompatibility, we are all incompatible but it’s the work of love to make us graciously accommodate each other and each other’s incompatibilities. Therefore, incompatibility is an achievement of love; it’s true love that make us gradually accept the need to be compatible.

We all have types. And we can’t probably change our types. Many of us might have certain types who are going to cause us real problems. They may be too distant, arrogant or going to torture us in some way. And your friends would casually say, cut him/her out of your life he\she’s not good for you. Realistically speaking, you cannot manage your type, let’s take that for granted but there’s an achievement here as well. It is to change how you characteristically respond to your tricky type. Most of us have formed how we respond to our tricky types in early childhood. For instance, we have a distant parent which matches to a distant lover…when we were very young, we respond to that distant parent by attention-seeking…we rattled and banged. And now we’re adults we rattle and bang in our own way. And we think it’s going to help but it doesn’t. It creates a vicious cycle that won’t get us anywhere. It is open to us to have a more mature response to the challenges that the types of people that you’re attracted are going to pose for us. And that’s an immense achievement. One thing that we can do is to recognize the inability to compromise ─ one of the shameful things that we have to admit… “This is my partner, I’ve compromised…in choosing them I’ve compromised.” “Why you’ve compromised?�� “Well, I’m not that attractive myself. I’ve got lots of problems. I’m a bit naughty. Frankly, I can’t pull anyone better but they’re very nice…they’re okay.” Now, you would think loser, but that’s not true. Compromise is noble. We compromise in every area of life and there’s no reason why we shouldn’t compromise in our love life. Maybe some parents are just sticking around for the children…good! And we’ll say, “Oh, they’re just sticking around for the children.” That’s a wonderful reason to stick around, for what else they’re going to stick around. Let’s look benevolently in the art of compromise as a massive achievement in life.

Notably, a Danish Philosopher Soren Kierkegaard had a wonderful outburst where he basically said, of course you’re going to marry the wrong person and make the wrong decisions in a whole row of areas. And the reason why you’re going to do this is because you’re a human. Therefore, do not berate yourself for doing what humans do. This is what he said, “Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy.”

[pocketmouse18]

Thank you so much to @herosofmarvelanddc @cloudypaws and @mtab2260 for the tag! This was so much fun to think about :)

(fair warning, I wrote too much for many of these...)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just 2 :)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

450,577 if I did my math right!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Officially? Just 1 - Agents of Shield (two, I guess, if you count MCU as separate, since I use characters from both...). Off the record, many more than that! I have lots of bits and bobs from other fandoms that I tinkered with when I was younger, still getting the hang of writing, not brave enough to post things, etc. etc. Some of those include X-Men, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, the Fosters, Star Wars, the Hunger Games, the 39 Clues, and a few others I can’t remember. None of those will likely see the light of day, mostly because they’re unfinished, not very good, and just not reflective of who I am as a writer anymore, but they were fun to play around with at the time :)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I just have the two, but The Important Thing is to Try wins, hands down, with 1227. Shoulder to Shoulder has 95, though, which I’m also very proud of! Important Thing has a definite advantage, being as long as it is, so I don’t know if that’s really a fair comparison between them.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Or at least, I always try to! I just can’t believe someone would be kind enough to take the time to tell me what they thought of my story, so I always want to take the time to thank them and return the favor :) Plus, as I’ve learned, it’s a fantastic way to get to know some really lovely people!

6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Well... I technically only have one story that has an ending, at least on Ao3, and it’s not an especially angsty one, since it ends in Phil and Melinda getting married :) I have some angsty chapter endings in Important Thing, if that counts? I’m not even sure if any of my unpublished fiddlings have angsty endings (most don’t have endings at all lol)... I don’t mind writing angst, but I don’t know if I’m capable of making something without a happy (or at least hopeful) ending.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've ever written?

Not really, unless you count AoS/MCU crossovers (which I guess technically count, but also I would argue it’s not a true crossover since (and I will die on this hill) AoS is a part of MCU canon). When I was younger I was a fan of playing around with crossover AUs more so than the actual characters crossing paths (so like, what if these characters from XYZ were demigods or went to Hogwarts or what have you, and not so much what would happen if the X-Men met Luke, Leia, and Han on one of their space adventures). I started writing a crossover between AoS and the Marvel Rising cartoon once (which again, not sure if that’s a true crossover, since Daisy was in Marvel Rising, but I digress), where Coulson tasks Daisy to work with Kate Bishop and Rayshaun Lucas to collect and train a team of young Inhumans, starting with Kamala Khan, but I ran out of steam pretty quickly when it got too plot heavy.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t think so. I’ve had some people not understand some choices that I made, but they asked it in a way that I thought was perfectly nice, and I was happy to talk about it with them. Sometimes people get “mad” at me when I cause pain and suffering, but I know that’s all in good fun :)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope, not for me. I don’t read it or write it, personally. Writing a kiss is hard enough!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge! Important Thing is probably too long and unwieldy to ever steal :P

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone once asked me on FFN if they could translate Important Thing to Russian, which was basically the coolest thing I’ve ever been asked!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A fic, no. I’d love to try sometime! I had a friend in college who I co-wrote with A LOT, though, so I know I enjoy that process, given the right partner. We wrote several short plays together (ranging from ~15-50 minutes in length, including one that we wrote in a single afternoon!), selected scenes from a larger (unfinished) play inspired by historical letters we found in an archive that were sent between a man from Massachusetts serving in the American Civil War, his wife, and his 8-year-old son, and several scripts for TV sitcoms (2 pilots for 2 different shows, plus additional eps for those pilots, and a couple of later eps for a different show that a classmate of ours wrote the pilot for - we were trying to practice what it would be like to be on a staff with a showrunner haha). The sitcom scripts in particular I’m very proud of, and could talk somebody’s ear off about if asked (one’s about ghost hunters and one’s about a DnD party!), but maybe that’s better saved for another post ;)

13. What's your all-time favorite ship?

That’s a very hard question for me! Mostly because shipping stuff is usually one of the last things to register for me when I’m thinking about shows/books/movies I like haha... I’m always a sucker for Philinda, and younger me was rather taken with Percabeth, I suppose.

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Hmm, several, really. The aforementioned AoS/Marvel Rising crossover I think could be really cool if I got it to work, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen. I also have a WIP that’s like an angstier version of a Hallmark Christmas movie AU where Daisy has to come home to her small town right before Christmas and figure out what she wants out of life, but I’m a little stalled out on that one, mostly because I’m waffling on who the charming love interest should be and because I don’t have enough of a plot, just lots of feelings about coming back home to a place you thought you had left behind lol.

I’d put Important Thing and it’s (as of yet) untitled sequel on here as things I want to finish, but I’m much more determined to see those through, so I don’t think they qualify for the “never will actually write” part of this question :)

15. What are your writing strengths?

I don’t know if other people agree with this, but I think I write pretty decent dialogue. My “training” (if you can call it that) is in, as you might have figured out by now, script and screenplay writing (those were the only creative writing classes I took in college). So having a sense of the rhythm a conversation needs to have and how to write dialogue that sounds mostly like how people really talk (but shined and tightened up enough so that it’s not actually like verbatim dialogue, which is far less interesting to read!) is something that I feel like comes pretty easily. I also think I do okay with similes and metaphors - my brain tends to work in that way. It’s easier for me to think of stuff (feelings, especially) in terms of comparing it to more familiar things than to just think of the thing directly, if that makes sense?

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

If I was being honest, this would be a very long section, but I know it’s not fun to read a big ol’ paragraph of someone self-criticizing, so I’ll keep it to one or two items ;) A big one for me is pacing, I think. I tend to write more than I need to and to over-explain things, so my chapters get very long and sometimes don’t really go anywhere? Until all of the sudden, they DO, because things need to HAPPEN! I’m a pretty rigorous self-editor, but I do have a really hard time cutting out sections (unless they’re really just not working), so even if it would help the pacing to leave out this conversation between character A and character B, I often can’t make myself cut it. I also think I struggle sometimes with balancing my ‘showing’ and my ‘telling,’ especially in the sense of me over-explaining certain things - like when it comes to feelings/facial expressions/etc, for example. I compensate for that in Important Thing by making it a part of a few people’s POV, but it’s not really a good habit to have in general. Also spelling! I’m really bad at spelling and run my stuff through robust spellchecks and text-to-speech before I post anything to make up for it :)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I do it with some regularity, although I always get nervous about doing it wrong! It’s hard to avoid in AoS, where characters are spies and should (in theory, at least) have a working knowledge of multiple languages (”We’re spies, I thought we all learned languages?!”). Even in an AU, where characters aren’t spies, I like to try and pay homage to that, plus pay homage to certain characters’ native languages or just general multilingualism. I’ve spent a fair amount of time around people who speak more than one language, so I feel like it’s a natural part of groups of people to have more than one language spoken. I have a pretty good handle on written Spanish, a patchy idea of French, plus I know some Russian phrases from my dad and some German words from my grandfather, but I do rely on internet translation a lot. I usually run stuff through google, then run it backwards to see just how far off the initial translation was, then consult some actual, like, language learning sites to see if there’s particular idioms or common phrases that use different words than what google will give me, then run those words through backwards in the place of the original words to see if I can massage the whole thing to sound reasonably competent. Languages like Russian or Mandarin (which have their own alphabets/characters) are the hardest, since I have to also try and do a transliteration. I always try to put an apology/disclaimer in the notes any time I write in a language that isn’t English, because I’m sure I make lots of mistakes.

Also, I tend not to italicize words that are in other languages, because it looks weird on the page to me to set the other language apart like that (and because I italicize mainly for internal thoughts or emphasis, and usually what’s being said in another language isn’t internal or being emphasized). I put a rough translation at the end so we don’t have to pause the story for a parenthetical translation, but because the translation’s not right there, I try to either put in enough context clues that a person can still understand what’s going on, or I make sure that what’s written in another language isn’t critical to the overall understanding of the scene.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Officially, it’s AoS, since that’s the only fandom I’ve published for. I think the first true fandom I wrote fic for was probably either Harry Potter (entirely populated with OCs lol, I just liked using the world/setting), Percy Jackson (a mix of OCs and canon characters), or X-Men (all canon characters). I was a bit of a latecomer to fanfiction, though, like, I wrote a ton as a kid, but mostly original stuff, because I didn’t know that fanfiction in its current form was even allowed until I was in high school lol.

Oh! I almost forgot one! I’m not sure if this really counts as a fandom, but it’s definitely the earliest version of fanfic I wrote haha... I was like 12 and I wrote more than one story of an OC joining Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men, and then also one of that same OC becoming a knight of the Round Table, so like... do what you will with that information haha.

19. What's you're favorite fic you've written?

I can’t choose between my two darlings :( I mean, okay, technically it’s probably Important Thing. That story’s my baby. It’s huge and I’ve been working on it for almost 2 years, and I’ve poured a lot of my heart and soul into it. I’ve fallen in love with the universe I built in it, so much so that I wrote an entire prequel and have very concrete plans for a lengthy sequel. But I can’t not crow about Shoulder to Shoulder (the aforementioned prequel!), too... I’m just really proud of that one - it has a lot of firsts for me. First completed story. First romance-focused story. First foray into expanding the Important Thing universe. But yes, if I have to choose, then Important Thing wins. That’s a story that I started writing exclusively for myself - to give myself characters I could relate to and to explore a style of AoS fic that I loved reading - and that’s a story I will always and forever be proud of.

I think most people have probably answered this tag game at this point, so I don’t want to accidentally retag anyone! If you haven’t yet, and would like to join in, please do! This is your invitation <3

[harry-sussex]

I hope it's not yet too late to add my thoughts to the Harry memoir thing! First of all, I sincerely hope that Harry is smart enough to think twice, thrice, or even a thousand times about what he'll put out in his memoir. Unlike Finding Freedom which they were able to deny accountability, although seemingly unbelievable to some given their "relationship" with Omid, all statements, claims, and accusations in the memoir are his to bear and all consequences are his to suffer. He can't pass it off to someone else. The Queen is 95. Sooner but preferably later, Charles will take over and then William. I'm not saying he's not entitled to his own feelings and I acknowledge that the BRF will always be his blood family but family members have been exiled and cut off completely for lesser reasons. I think him going back to the UK and being allowed to stay in Frogmore, for instance, are all thanks to the Queen. I can't imagine what or how his trips to the UK will be like if he has been cut off completely by his family and no longer has the royal machinery to back him up (i.e., being able to stay in Frogmore, the security, chauffeurs, being able to claim they're still on speaking terms). Try as he might to say that he hated his old life, I think it would hurt him if he only gets to go back to the only home he's ever known for funerals. I think it would also hurt as hell if he and his family will be denied invitations to the Jubilee or future coronations, for instance - events that he and his family should have been at the forefront had this been handled properly. Not to mention the negative impact this will have on his "brand". I don't think the remaining royals would do a sit down interview directly addressing Harry but I also don't think we can put it past them to hit back in different ways especially when provoked.

Second, the "scorned royal" narrative could only go so far especially with the Cambridge children growing up. This is also one of my beefs with how this played out. Harry acknowledged that his niece and nephews would soon outshine him and he has a little window to do something worthwhile... and yet he chose to immerse himself fully in the "drama" as opposed to highlighting the causes close to his heart. This "drama" is supposedly aimed to clear the air and misconception surrounding them but it only resulted in them being bashed even more and made fun of.

I saw a post saying he's turning into the male version of Tessy Antony (and I hate that I can see why) and since January 2020, I think I've been the human version of that angry woman saying "I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you" at Harry LOL. He used to be such a great guy (who I was really proud to say I admired) and I think underneath all these pent-up anger, he still is. I sincerely hope he doesn't end up being a middle aged man who's fallen from grace and would have to resort to embarrassing things to earn money and court publicity. Diana's second baby who grew up to have a big heart and an even bigger personality despite the Diana tragedy deserves so much more than that.

It's never too late to share your perspective around here! I have a stupid amount of messages from ages ago from people sharing their perspectives - I'll get to them, promise! It just might take me a while lol. But I've been trying to get through all of the memoir-related asks because a lot of people have a lot to say, myself included.

I think a lot of favor he still has with the family lies with the Queen, sure. However, I really don't see Charles and William cutting him out of the institution for good, no matter what he does. He'll go to the coronation, maybe even William's investiture as Prince of Wales. He'll go to HM's funeral (where I have no doubt he'll be granted special permission to wear a uniform, because there's no way they'll do the suit thing from Philip's funeral at the monarch's funeral), his father's funeral when the time comes (same with the uniform), and William's coronation, and maybe George's investiture too. Hell, he might even pull a Princess Madeleine and come by for events like Trooping the Colour (like she does for National Day/Victoriadagen sometimes) every once in a while. He'll stay at Frogmore and get invited to tea and be entitled to the same royal machinery. Side note - I really don't think we'll ever see Meghan (and, likely, the kids) on British soil ever again. Maybe, maybe the coronation(s). Not entirely sure about the funerals, I'm not going to lie. Just my opinion - I might be completely wrong.

I just don't see them waking up one morning and stooping to Harry's current level. They're an institution too, and realistically, he's no threat to it. Sure, they theoretically may never speak again, they may cut each other off for good personally, but the institution is the institution and I just don't see them doing anything.

I agree with the second point, though I hadn't considered it. His time in the peak of the spotlight to do as much good as possible is certainly limited, as he fades further and further away from the institution, and as George, Charlotte, and Louis grow up. He has a different grasp on the public than Charles' siblings, for example, because he's Diana's baby, and so he will remain relevant in some capacity for the rest of his life even as the kids start turning into full-grown royals. Either way, it will diminish to an extent, and I wish he'd focus that time on doing the good he's always said he wanted to do, to maximize his impact while he has the greatest reach. The drama only makes money for the media. His charities, instead, could benefit greatly from the resources (time, energy, effort, manpower) that he is wasting on this damn memoir. In the process, he makes money for charities and loses money for the media. A win-win, right? Why does nobody see that?

That was @claireofluxembourg 's anon and it's funny to an extent, but it's also really quite sad. I don't think he's there yet but it could very easily go in that direction and if that happens, idk what I'll do with myself because you know I'll still be here going on about "he can change!" That bitterness is unflattering on anyone.

Finally, I agree with all of your last point. He's a wonderful, beautiful man with so much spark and charm and he's so capable of everything he could ever want to do and more. I do not want to see him fall any further from grace than he already has. He's Diana's baby, sure, but he's a beautiful person in his own right with a big heart and an enormous desire and potential to be everything and more and I just hate that this is what it's come to. I hope it levels out because he deserves so much better, he is so much better, and I refuse to believe that version of him is gone.

[mybiasisexo]

Return

Genre: Angst | Dystopian!au 

Pairing: Suho x Reader

Length: 1k

Warning: Unfinished

Summary: After years, a mission group has finally retuned to your village, but the outside world has changed them. One man in particular, your good friend Kim Junmyeon, comes back a complete stranger, and you can’t help but to find this darker version of him both frightening and intriguing. 

Author’s Note: So, this is actually a WIP. If you didn’t know, Suho is next up for a scenario, and I came up with this really wild plot (@weirdsofagirls knows aye) but then Self Portrait came out and I scratched this for something a bit more on that theme. I still plan on finishing this though cause if I stick to it, it’s gonna Slap!!!

MASTERLIST

credit

Murmuring. Whispering.

The whole morning since you had awoke, you had been surrounded by the soft talking of your fellow citizens. It was mildly disturbing, because no one seemed to be clueing you in on whatever hot gossip was going on. Was it about you? For some reason, what with the odd glance thrown your way, you were beginning to believe that may be the case.

Finally, around noon, your good friend, Yixing, breezed past you, to his job in the kitchen, but you quickly snatched his arm, yanking him back.

“What is it you need, Lily?” He asked in his gentle tone, although his eyes were anywhere but on you.

You tilted your head, the nickname was used by your closest friends. You all had different alias you addressed each other by. “I was merely curious if you were included on the day’s lastest news. It appears everyone but myself seems to be in on some secret. I’m just as intrigued, you know? And as a fellow member of this society, I believe I should be included, don’t you agree, Lay?”

He sighed, tilting his head back to stare at the wooden ceiling. “There is…some news, yes.”

“Well?” You folded your arms, settling your weight on one leg as you waited for him to continue.

He ran a hand over his face. “Lily….”

“No.” You merely replied, causing him to laugh drily.

“You’ll do something stupid.”

“Does everyone here truly believe that?”

He gave you a fixed look and you lifted your hands up in surrender.

“Fine,” he grinned despite himself. “There has been word from the higher ups that those from the mission a few years ago have finally retur—”

You had spun on your heels before he could get the final word out. He called after you, cursing under his breath when you sped away, making your way to the council’s building. You tried your best to ignore the way people you passed stopped to follow your racing body approach the looming three leveled building. It had nothing to do with them, and you weren’t going to do anything stupid. Damn, Yixing!

You threw the giant front doors open, causing them to smack against the walls with a bellowing echo. Directly in front of you sat Bibi behind the assistance desk. She chuckled at your presence with an eye roll, and your chest bloomed with irritation.

“Where are they?” You barked.

She rested her chin on a hand and with the other, pointed to your left with the pen in her fingers.

You marched towards that direction, catching her wicked smirk as she murmured, ‘she’s in for a surprise.”

You don’t have time to ponder on what she meant before you’re at the doors of an office. One of the glossy dark wooden doors was ajar and for some reason, you found yourself hesitating, found the fire that had ignited at Yixing’s words fizzle to smoke as apprehension quickly took its place.

Something wasn’t right.

You decided not to storm in as planned, instead leaning in closer, to catch a peek.

The room had tall ceilings and was only lit by the sun shining through the high window, light cascading down to the desk in the middle of the otherwise dark room. It was Mr. Lim’s office, you were familiar with it. He handled most of the military tasks, it made sense for the men to return and discuss with him. You could see him, seated at his desk, back rim rod straight, shoulders stiff, and eyes never leaving the man that hovered in front of him.

The hovering lad didn’t appear familiar to you, which further confused and intrigued you. Had they stumbled across others on their mission? It was difficult because his back was facing you. You watched, transfixed, as he slammed his hands down on the desk, leaning across the table intimidatingly and Mr. Lim gulped.

Mr. Lim gulped.

You gasped, despite yourself and the man’s head twitched before he was slowly turning, meeting your gaze and your heart leapt into your throat.

He lazily made his way to you, his boots echoing against the creaky floorboards, attention given to your shaking form. He stopped once he was on the opposite side of the door.

“Jun…Junmyeon?” You asked, aghast.

His jaw ticked as he, not saying a word, shut the door in your face.

~*~

“Lily…. LILY!” You stared unblinkingly ahead of you in the canteen, unable to eat, unable to focus, unable to unsee the cold darkness that now possessed Junmyeon’s features.

Was that really him?

It wasn’t until someone yelled your real name that you jumped, getting thrown back to reality.

“What?” You snapped, mostly out of habit, but also to mask the shaking of your shoulders.

Jongin, another good friend, took you in with a frown. “You haven’t touched your food.”

You blinked before glancing around, noticing some people surreptitiously watching you.

“I’m….” You’re still so unsettled, so discombobulated, still standing on the other side of that door, wondering what the hell you just saw. “I’m sorry, I’m just… not hungry, I guess.”

Jongin’s frown deepened. “I’ve never heard you talk so softly, are you alright?”

Were you alright? No. Your stomach was turning something fierce and the urge to hurl was becoming more concerning by the second.

Jongin leaned in conspiringly. “I heard some people saw you making your way to the council building. Did… did you see them?”

“I’m not sure.” You eyebrows furrowed as you pictured the man you believed to be Junmyeon in your head. “I think I did but…there is no way. And Mr. Lim…he seemed….”

“Seemed what?” Jongin pushed gently.

Finally, you gave him your attention and he swallowed from your expression alone. “Scared.”

“Mr. Lim doesn’t frighten easily,” Jongin replied slowly, as if he were talking to a child.

“My thoughts exactly. Also I saw—” You couldn’t even say his name, it would make it too real, and nothing about this felt anything of the sort.