#although i guess the trial and error is half the fun

[jalitepng]

trying to start wearing makeup more regularly and let me tell u. the struggle is real

[amanda-glassen]

Jerena honeymoon? 😏

I know you wanted smut but this is pure fluff and I apologize hahaha. Also this was supposed to be a drabble but I think it's 3000 words. Sorryyyyy.

Serena hated lingerie. She hated the complicated straps and clasps and the way the material felt against her skin. Most importantly, she hated the way she looked in it. She felt it didn’t flatter her the way it did the curvier, well-endowed women in movies and on TV. It made her feel too skinny and like she was lacking, but it was the first night of their honeymoon and Serena wanted to wear something special for her new wife. She put on a pair of cheeky white panties with a lace ruffle trim that she special-ordered with ‘Mrs. Castillo’ printed on the front in baby blue lettering. She touched up her hair and makeup, even if she knew Jamie wouldn’t mind that a few strands of hair were out of place or that her mascara was slightly smudged, but the more she fussed over her makeup, the more she realized she was stalling.

“Babe, are you okay?” She heard Jamie ask from their bed.

“I’m fine,” Serena responded although she was feeling anything but fine. “I’ll be right out.” She’s my wife and she loves me. Everything is going to be okay. This is nothing we haven’t done dozens of times before. But it was their first time as a married couple and Serena felt she had to make everything perfect for Jamie. Or maybe I should just be myself.

It was Halloween night and Serena had packed her pair of Freddy Krueger gloves that she usually wore when she took Olivia trick-or-treating. She opened the bathroom door and stuck her hand out so she could tap on the doorframe with the fake blades on her glove.

“Serena Benson!” Jamie shouted. “You scared the hell out of me. How is it that we’ve only been married 30 hours and I already want a divorce?”

Serena tapped the doorframe one more time before peeking her head out. “I’m sorry, but Serena Benson doesn’t exist anymore. You must be mistaken.”

“Babe, come here,” Jamie urged. “I wanna lie down with my wife.” Lie down. She thinks she’s slick.

Serena stood next to their bed, her hands covering her chest. “I’m ready to...lie down.”

“I’ve never been this over you,” Jamie grabbed her and pulled her onto the bed, eliciting a squeal from Serena. “Babe, take those gloves off.”

“I was going to and then you pulled me on the bed.” Serena took off the gloves and tossed them aside.

When Jamie started to kiss her, Serena felt as if her mind was elsewhere and without realizing it, she had started to pull away. “Do you want to stop?” Jamie asked. “I know it’s our honeymoon, but I’m just as happy holding you or hanging out with you.”

Serena captured her lips in a kiss. “No, no, I want to. I just feel like my mind isn’t here. I’m thinking about Ollie. This is our favorite holiday. She’s twelve and it’s her last kid Halloween, you know? I take her trick-or-treating every year with Elliot and her other friends. I even took her last year before I went over to your house. Next Halloween, she’ll be a teenager, and I feel like I missed my last shot. I’m just glad Mr. and Mrs. Cabot let Alex stay with her in LA. My heart and my mind are both here with you and over there with her. For the past twelve years, I’ve just been a mom and now I’m a mom and a wife and I have to learn how to balance the two.”

“Serena, look at me,” Jamie cupped her face in her hands. “Being my wife doesn’t mean you ever have to take time away from being Ollie’s mom. The three of us are a family. We’re a new family, but we’re going to make it work. Like with any family, there’s going to be a lot of trial and error, but I promise to never make you feel as if you have to choose between me and Ollie. Why don’t we call her right now and see how her Halloween is going?”

Serena immediately grabbed her phone from on top of the nightstand. It rang only one time before she heard her overly excited daughter on the other end. “Hi, Mom! I miss you!”

“Hi, Olliegator. I miss you too. How’s the haul this year?”

“Not as good as Alex’s neighborhood, but Lexie and Kyle helped us salvage the night,” Olivia responded. “Your candy map is a bust, Mom. Half of the houses on there don’t know the spirit of Halloween.”

The candy map in question is a map Serena created of the houses in Beverly Hills that gave out the best candy, had the scariest haunted houses, and the best decorations. “Ollie, I made that map in 1998. It’s not really relevant anymore.”

“See, that’s what I thought at first,” Olivia responded. “But Alex and I were just too taken in by the retro ‘90s charm. So, Mom, tell me about this cabin in the woods. Don’t most people honeymoon in Hawaii or Cabo or the Bahamas?”

“Too ordinary,” Serena responded. She knew Olivia would think it was because she wanted to be out in the woods on Halloween, but the real reason Serena wanted a honeymoon in a cabin away from everyone was because she wanted an entire week of being shut-in with Jamie with nobody else around them. “I’ll give you the grand tour of the cabin and the lake tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I think that would have been ordinary, too,” she could hear her daughter smiling through the phone. “Just remember if you find a creepy cellar, don’t go in. Also, if you meet an old man at a store or gas station that looks abandoned, heed his warnings and listen to his tales of forgotten lore.”

“Of course, Olliegator,” Serena laughed. “Lexie told me she’s taking you and Alex on a Haunted Hollywood tour. Remember, after coming home from those places－”

“When in doubt, sage it out,” Olivia recited the advice she had heard countless times. “We’re gonna leave now. I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too, Ollie Koalie.”

Serena felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders when she hung up the phone. Her Ollie was having fun with her aunt and uncle and Alex. Olivia was going to be okay, just like she was going to be okay.

“Feel better?” Jamie asked. “Is our Ollie okay?”

“She’s okay,” Serena responded. “I think I am, too.”

Serena thought back to their first time last Halloween. It was raw and animalistic, the result of six months of pent-up sexual tension between the two of them. Jamie had her against the wall, on her back, on all fours, and on her knees. But none of that felt right for their first time as a married couple.

Her wife was ready for her as was evident by the bulge in her boxer brief harness that Serena was able to feel between her legs now that Jamie was on top of her. Jamie was playfully nibbling on her neck, putting her at ease. The deeper they got into their relationship, the more loving and even playful sex had become between the two of them. The passion was there, the attraction was there, but Serena felt as if what they did was no longer performative. They could be themselves and focus on each other instead of focusing on an image.

Jamie propped herself up on her elbows, which was one of Serena’s favorite positions for her to be in so she could feel more skin-to-skin contact and nearly the full weight of Jamie’s body on her. She looked down at Serena before leaning in to kiss her. “I love you so much,” she said in a tone that Serena found reassuring. “If you ever want me to stop anything I’m doing, just tell me.” But she didn’t have to tell her. Sometimes she didn’t have the nerve to tell her and Jamie could just see it in her eyes. Her wife could read her better than anyone.

Jamie slowly kissed her way down her body, stopping when she reached her white panties with ‘Mrs. Castillo’ printed on them. “Have I ever told you that my name looks good on you?”

“Several times,” Serena responded. “And it makes me roll my eyes every time you say it.”

Serena’s legs were spread and bent at the knee, giving Jamie access to kiss her on her inner thighs. “I guess I can’t say it anymore because it’s our name now and not just mine. I’m also sorry I didn’t notice these earlier, but when your wife comes out with Freddy Krueger gloves covering her breasts, your eyes just shift to that instead.” Serena felt Jamie tug at the waistband of her undies and slide them off. “As good as they look on you, you don’t need these right now.”

When Jamie flung them to the side, Serena was reminded of an incident that happened a few weeks after their first time. “Do you remember that time you flung my underwear and we couldn’t find it?”

“And my roommate found it the next morning?” Jamie added. “Yeah, how could I forget that?”

“But it was nothing even remotely sexy like I wore the first couple of times,” Serena laughed. “They were my cotton boybriefs with Rainbow Brite and Starlite on them. In my defense, I didn’t know I was getting laid that night. When you said, ‘Serena, come hang out,’ I thought we were actually going to hang out like you hang out with the guys.”

“That explains the hoodie and jeans you wore,” Jamie quipped. “I tried to be good, kind of like I’m trying right now, but my focus is on my favorite freckle of yours.”

Serena remembered the first time Jamie discovered her favorite freckle, one located near her clit that immediately became Jamie’s favorite spot to kiss like she was in that moment. The back and forth and casual banter had eased her nervousness and, although that banter had stopped and she was open and physically vulnerable, her nervousness was still gone and she was able to enjoy every movement of her wife’s tongue.

“I bought you something,” Jamie said, picking her head up and wiping Serena’s wetness from her mouth.

“Later,” Serena insisted, feeling slightly frustrated with her wife.

“Trust me, you’ll want this now.” Her gift was a vibrator that nestled comfortably over Serena’s clit. “Just a little helper because I can’t touch you where I want to when I’m on top.” Jamie used the remote to turn it on one of the lower settings.

Serena pulled Jamie close so she could kiss her, the feeling of the vibrator on her clit and the taste of herself on Jamie’s tongue sending her into overdrive. When Jamie turned up the intensity of the vibrator, she couldn’t help moaning into her wife’s mouth.

“Spread your legs, baby,” Jamie insisted. Serena felt her wife enter her first with one finger before slowly interesting another when she felt Serena had adjusted. She was tight, she knew she was. She always clenched her muscles when Jamie first entered her, but the more she pumped her fingers in and out of her, the more relaxed she became. She could hear how wet she was and she reveled in the feeling of having Jamie inside of her －the first, last, and only woman to be so intimate with her.

“You’re so wet, baby,” Jamie told her as she increased the speed that she was pumping her fingers in and out of her. Serena knew what Jamie wanted. She wanted her cock buried deep inside her. She knew Jamie wanted to fuck her hard and rough; she wanted to claim her.

“Jay,” Serena moaned. She couldn’t get the words out but Jamie knew exactly what she needed.

Serena grabbed the warming lubricant from on top of the nightstand and rubbed it on Jamie’s clit, the feeling of Jamie’s wetness making her throb even more. The warming lubricant had been Serena’s idea the first time they went toy shopping together. It was meant to heighten the sensation for Jamie and make her feel like she was actually inside Serena when the base of the toy rubbed against her clit.

Jamie positioned herself in between Serena’s legs, teasing her entrance as she turned up the intensity of the vibrator enough to make Serena moan even louder. “Jamie, fuck…”

“Is that an order?” Jamie asked and then realized Serena was less than pleased with her question. She entered Serena with just the tip and slowly went deeper, allowing Serena to adjust to being so filled.

“Come here. I want to look into your eyes.”

When she knew Serena was ready, Jamie began to thrust deep and hard into her. She had once wanted soft and sensual but Jamie had awakened that need inside of her. “You look so hot when you’re being fucked, Ser.” She knew the deeper Jamie went, the more she could feel the base press against her clit, so Serena wrapped her legs around her wife’s waist to make her go deeper. “You feel so good.”

With Jamie now propped up on her elbows, Serena ran her fingers down her back. Her caresses were gentle until she felt her wife fuck her harder and faster. Her nails dug into the skin on Jamie’s back and she felt herself tighten around her cock. “Jamie, keep fucking me, baby. Don’t stop.”

She felt the toy rubbing against her g spot, the vibrator pulsating on her clit, and the sound of her wife moaning in her ear. One more thrust as Jamie sucked on her neck proved to be her undoing with Jamie’s orgasm following just a few seconds behind her.

“I love you,” Serena told her as Jamie nuzzled into her neck. “I’ve never felt so connected to anyone before.”

“I’m literally still inside you,” Jamie teased. “We’re very connected right now.”

Serena playfully smacked her arm. “Now it’s my turn to be done with you.”

“You can’t be,” Jamie responded. “You’re stuck with me for the next 50 or 60 years and I couldn’t be happier about that. I love you, Serena Castillo. One thing, though…”

“Hmm?”

“With the way you were clawing at my back, I’m really grateful you took off your Freddy Krueger gloves.”

[fandom-necromancer]

A little Distraction Part 4

This has been prompted by a lovely anon! I still can’t believe how many of you like this story, I hope I can do it justice XD Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 | AU: Reverse AU (Warnings: mentioned abuse, but you know the last part,so...) Link to part one no longer available [Part2]   [Part3]   [Part5]   [Read complete on AO3]

‘I-I-I’m still embarrassed about it.’ Richard looked at Gavin sitting in the passenger side lips quirking up. ‘Hey, don’t be’, he laughed. ‘Connor and Hank won’t mind, and it was nice seeing you relax for once.’ ‘Holy shit, I m-m-met you yesterday!’ ‘I guess’, Richard shrugged and drove on. ‘Hey, don’t overthink it. If you want to, we can all pretend it never happened.’ Gavin staid silent for a while. ‘I don’t think I want that.’ ‘Hmm?’, Richard hummed in question. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘I mean that it f-f-felt gooood. Wouldn’t want it to never have happened.’

‘Then try not to worry’, Richard suggested gently. ‘I didn’t mind it. I enjoyed that evening a lot.’ They both drove in silence for a while, then Richard hesitantly asked: ‘You still want to come back home with me? Or did you change your mind?’ ‘No, I… I stand by my word. I would… I think I just want to belong somewhere, and you might just work.’ Richard smiled to himself, nodding. ‘Right kind of weird for you?’ ‘Right kind of normal’, Gavin disagreed. ‘But yeah, you get the essence. Let’s just get back.’

They arrived back at Richard’s house and took their share of the leftovers back inside. Connor had packed Gavin an extra portion of the thirium cookies and he didn’t really know how he should feel about that. Still, as he sat at Richard’s table over an unfinished puzzle, munching on them. ‘You r-r-r-really enjoy doing this?’, he asked sceptically. ‘Yeah’, the human nodded. ‘But it’s just a pictuuure. It’s right there on the p-p-packaging too.’ Richard huffed. ‘Yeah, I guess it’s pointless. But it’s fun and something to keep you busy. I always got at least one on Christmas because the grandparents didn’t really know what to get me. Connor and I always finished one the days in between the years. I like to hold up that tradition.’ Gavin frowned and took a random piece from the heap. He looked at it, then at the picture on the box and placed it in the middle of the empty space. ‘Th-th-this one belongs there’, he said without much interest.

Richard looked at it and laughed. ‘You need to find pieces that fit together until you have the whole picture, Gavin.’ ‘If I continue liiiike this, it will be finished too.’ Richard sighed and handed him the piece. ‘Try find a piece in there that fits with yours.’ Gavin took it and looked at the box until the human took it away. ‘Without cheating’, he demanded. ‘I’d have to try every single one!’ ‘Nah, you can sort those out that don’t fit by colour’, Nines shrugged. ‘Only then it’s trial and error.’ Gavin shook his head and searched the heap, occasionally flicking pieces a bit too far when his hands glitched. Apparently, he had found one and tested it out. The piece fit perfectly. ‘This is pointless’, he commented, searching for the next one. ‘Maaaaaybe this is just a human th-th-thing.’ Richard grinned. ‘Maybe. Any other idea? What would you rather do?’

Gavin was thinking, trying to find the next piece. His hands glitched stronger suddenly and he had to momentarily stop. ‘We… I went for a walk with m-m-my f-f-family baaaack then. The day after Christmas.’ Richard stopped, attention focussing completely on the android in front of him. ‘Th-th-th-the kids loooved the snow. Alwaaays went to the Grand C-c-circus park and build a snowman or…’ This time it wasn’t his voice-box giving in. Gavin just stopped speaking. ‘Do you want to go there?’, Richard asked carefully. ‘I could drive us there.’ ‘I don’t actually know’, the android answered. ‘Maybe?’ He looked at Richard uncertainly. Nines tried to be reassuring and stood up. ‘I’ll get the keys. We can go and if you don’t like it, we simply drive back. I wouldn’t mind stretching my legs a bit after Hank’s food.’

-

Less than half an hour later, they stood at the entrance of the park. The trees were clad in festive lights and shone on the pathways in the beginning dark. Quite a few people were walking about, but it wasn’t at all crowded. Richard wrapped his scarf closer around his neck to keep out the cold and put his hands in his pockets. He looked around, breath coming out in little clouds and he smiled. ‘It’s nice here.’ Gavin just nodded and hesitantly followed the human in. Maybe it had been a bad idea to come to a place loaded with memories, but when he watched Richard smiling at the lights all around and locating the nearest trailer that sold coffee, he was almost ready to change his mind on that first impression. He quickly joined him and a cup of warmed thirium was pressed into his hand. Confused he looked at it. ‘Hey, you think I’d only get myself something?’, Richard chuckled. ‘How’s that saying? If you’re cold, they are cold?’ ‘I b-b-believe that’s for dogs’, Gavin complained. ‘Androids can’t get cold.’ ‘Then pretend this stupid human doesn’t understand and is concerned.’ ‘Urgh’, Gavin groaned at Richard pampering him, but still accepted the warm drink, sipping on it.

‘There’s a free bench over there’, the human pointed out. ‘How about we sit there and enjoy our drinks, hmm?’ ‘Th-th-the whole point oooof this is to move a bit after eatiiing a lot.’ ‘Are you complaining about everything today?’, Richard asked, but the soft smile on his face told Gavin he didn’t mean it. ‘I just like complaining’, Gavin shrugged. They sat down on the bench underneath a decorated tree and just watched the people walking by and the decorations. After a while though, Gavin’s eyes found their ways to the person sitting next to him. There was a certain spark in those grey-blue eyes as they looked up towards the night sky that still held a few stars even with all the light pollution. Richard caught him staring the next moment, but Gavin didn’t avert his eyes. He was still thinking about how to put everything he felt right now into a simple thank you, as someone came running up to him.

‘Gavin!’ He flinched at the touch, but recoiled even more when he saw who stood there, a hand on his knee. ‘Kathy?’, he breathed the name in question, disbelieving and panicking at the implication of the child standing here. ‘Max! Max, Gavin’s here!’, the girl shouted, and Gavin’s heart sank as another familiar face appeared smiling as he recognised him. ‘Gavin!’ The android just stared at them wide-eyed, unable to speak. ‘Kathrine, Max, where are you? Get back here!’ Oh no. He knew that voice. ‘What- Get away from that man, you two!’ Gavin looked up in the face of the man that pulled his children away from where they had stood before him. And the man stared right back. They both were likely the same level of shocked, but Gavin was freezing completely over. He couldn’t move and at the same time trembled in glitches, while his LED was stuck on red.

‘Err… Kathy, Max, please go back to your mom, okay?’ ‘But that’s Gavin!’, the girl protested. ‘Yes, let daddy talk to him for a while, okay?’ The man turned around, watching them run back to their mother before facing Gavin again and swallowing. The android still was unable to do anything but stare. ‘Gavin… is it really you?’ The android nodded jerkily. ‘Yes. It’s me, John.’ The human took a step back, breathing heavy. ‘Oh, God.’

Richard looked at the encounter from the side-lines, needing no explanation to what happened here. ‘Oh, God, Gavin, I’m so fucking sorry. I panicked and I wanted to keep them save and I- I… Fuck, I didn’t know you were alive. I did horrible things to you. Truly horrible things. I can’t even imagine how you must have felt and fuck. I’m sorry. I- I didn’t know, I-‘ ‘IIIIt’s o-o-o-okay’, Gavin pressed out just to make the man shut his mouth. ‘No, it’s not. I fucking beat you almost every day! And when I was afraid you were alive and would turn on me, I just dumped you telling you to wait. Although I knew I’d never come back for you.’ ‘It’s okaaaay’, Gavin tried again. ‘I d-d-d-don’t waaaant to th-th-think about it anymore.’ John looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion. ‘Why?’ ‘B-b-b-because I have my ooown family now.’ It was the first time, the man even acknowledged Richard sitting next to him, coffee long forgotten. ‘What?’ ‘R-r-richard. He found me at the scraaaapyard and t-t-t-took me hooome. I haaated you. I waaanted to c-c-come back. I missed you. Th-th-the kids. You were my faaamily. But I waited l-l-l-long enough for you. I want to st-st-start again now. With Richard and h-h-his family.’

John swallowed hard and got to his knees, ignoring how the snow soaked the fabric of his trousers. Carefully, he took Gavin’s hand in his and nodded. ‘Okay. I understand. Just… I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought you were a machine that didn’t feel anything. I… I still shouldn’t have, and I know it. I’m sorry I did this to you. I want you to know that. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that because of me. I’m… I’ve sought help for my problem. The kids and Helen, they are safe from me. And I wish you all the best in your life. I hope we never meet again.’ He stood up and took a step back, facing Richard and he could see the man was really meaning it. ‘Treat him better than I did. Promise me.’ Nines nodded. ‘I will.’ ‘Thank you. Goodbye, Gavin.’

Richard watched the man hurry back to his family and Gavin sip on his thirium with shaking hands. They had long left the park, when he dared to talk to the android again. ‘Are you alright?’ ‘Not r-r-really’, Gavin answered. ‘I think I would like to go home now.’ ‘Of course’, Richard spoke gently and guided him up and towards his car. ‘I’ll drive us home.’ The sound of the engine made Gavin ease up a bit, but it was only when they arrived at the man’s home, that Gavin dared to release all the built-up tension.

‘Thank you.’

Richard looked up from where he had put away his shoes. ‘For what?’ ‘Everything. Being nice and caring. Picking me up to beeeeegin with. I think even if he did come b-b-b-back to get me, I wouldn’t want to go back with h-h-h-him.’ ‘You don’t have to thank me for that’, Richard sighed. ‘Maybe not. But I feeelt like I had to.’ ‘I understand’, he nodded. ‘What now?’

Gavin looked over at the table. ‘You still have to finish that puzzle, right? And maybe a m-m-m-movie afterwards?’ Richard smiled at him and Gavin really could get used to seeing that. ‘Sounds amazing. Let me just heat up Hank’s leftovers from yesterday and we can get right to it.’

[>next part]

[terminally-karkalicious]

allow me to rant about the only thing that has been in my brain for the past two months and that is doll customizing babeyyyyy

i know there’s a 90% chance that you wont give a Shit about any of this but here we go anyways

SO first you gotta choose a doll. preferably one with a high range of motion to avoid creating new joints or having annoying limitations like not having elbow joints for some fucking reason. what the fuck mattel. give monster high dolls back their ball jointed shoulders and elbow joints. smh

the most common dolls ive seen used as bases are monster high and ever after high. most customs ive seen are highly stylized so the stylized face molds work well for those types of dolls but dolls like barbies are good for when you want a more realistic face-ups.

once you’ve got your base picked out you gotta wipe that bitch’s face off with like. acetone or nail polish remover or something strong like that. you can also use acetone to shrink doll heads which is cool as hell imo. n e way once the face is wiped you gotta chop off the hair and remove the hair plugs from the inside. ive seen this done several ways but the easiest and most common way ive seen is to dunk the head into boiling water for ~30 seconds until it gets squishy and malleable. once you’ve got the head back, you can use pliers (i think tweezers would work in a pinch) to pull out the hair plugs which are kinda icky because theyre covered in glue and other gross shit. ew

now you must decapitate the doll. dunk em back in the boiling water to soften them back up then just tug the head off. the neck pegs look funky and are usually a different color than the body so thats cool ig

once the head’s off, you can start the face-up which is basically just giving the doll a new face using stuff like watercolor pencils, acrylic paint, gouache, and a whole lot of other stuff. hell ive seen people use person makeup on these dolls.

next,,,,, hair. there’s about twenty million ways to do hair from gluing yarn wefts to sewing to rerooting with purchased nylon doll hair or yarn wefts but i’m gonna talk about the most common one ive seen which is rerooting and gluing.

before you can reroot, you need doll hair. which, as i mentioned, can be bought at stores like the doll planet or made at home with yarn in literally any color. have fun with it! make rainbow hair or something idk

to make homemade wefts, you take some acrylic yarn, cut it twice as long as you want the hair to be (keep in mind you can cut and style the hair once it’s been rerooted), fold them in half, and tie it to something sturdy like a wire coat hanger for the next step.

once you’ve got your yarn tied to your hanger, use a pet brush and brush the yarn until it’s wispy and looks like hair. then take a straightening iron and iron the weft flat. then remove from the hanger and boom. hair wefts. ta-da

to reroot the wefts onto the head, use a rerooting tool (which can be as simple as a needle with the eye cut at angle) (just google it please i’m shit at descriptions)) to poke small sections of the hair into the head. you can use the pre-existing rooting holes for your own reroot as they’re usually pretty reliable. to reroot, take a small length of you doll hair (about 10-15 strands), loop it in half, and put the middle of the loop into the reroot tool. poke the end of the tool with the hair on it into the pre-existing hole and remove the tool. the hair *should* stay in and fill up that plug!! also remember to plug thickly at the hairline and part of the hair where it's most noticeable. it doesnt matter as much in the center of the head as that’s not usually visible on the doll. once you’ve rerooted, squeeze in strong glue through the neck hole and squish around the head to make sure it covers all the plugs and secures them in place. then pour hot water onto the head to make the hair lay flat for styling later.

also, you can reroot yarn directly into the head to make thicker, more textured hairstyles. and since the yarn is thicker, you dont need to glue the inside of the head for the hair to stay in place!!

if youre not doing body modifications (which are also cool as hell) then it’s time for clothes but clothes are boring and i like body mods more so i’m gonna rant about them instead

the material ive seen most doll artists use is apoxie sculpt, which is like play doh on steroids. it comes in two parts which you gotta mix together for some reason. why dont they sell it pre-mixed. what was the reason. also once it’s dry it’s super super strong and you can sand it, drill into it, paint it, and all kinds of stuff. very nice and i want some for myself.

you can use hand saws and drills and shit to whack off doll limbs to make stuff like digitigrade legs or new joints. also dont be afraid to use other mismatching doll parts when customizing like heads and bodies and forearms and hands and shit. it literally does not matter if youre gonna recolor the doll anyways so have fun with it. make frankenstein’s doll if youre feeling spicy

accessories my beloved. stuff like tiny beads and clay baubles and shit will literally transform the entire doll plus they’re adorable and multi-purpose

i suppose i must talk about clothes now. ah well. you can find great clothing patterns if youre new to customizing on other customizer’s etsy shops and probably google although those will probably be lower quality than paid pattern pieces. and keep in mind that if it exists as clothing irl, you can likely make it doll-sized. there are literally no limits to your clothing options as long as you can execute your idea.

the once all your components have been made, you can assemble the doll again!! and finally see what all the parts look like together!! very cool 10/10 stars.

ight that wraps up my doll rant. i could really go into more detail on certain parts but thats a whole other rant for a whole other day smh. sorry for fucking flooding your inbox ender ahaha……………. you asked for this

little did you know that dolls have been one of my favorite things since like ever. if i can read a 25 chapter long fanfic i can read this B)

mattel definitely fucked up by completely ruining MH doll designs and just stopping EAH, alot of their profits most likely came from people who collect and customize dolls and by changing MH doll designs/Stopping EAH dolls they 1. most likely lost a small (or big if we're not jus talking people who customize dolls) part of their profit and 2. made it harder for doll customizers to make dolls/get commissions out rather quickly because they probably have to waste more time making joints or learning how to make joints.

EAH/MH dolls (specifically MH dolls) had AMAZING MODELS because there was so much variety with height, face shapes, etc (my favorite molds had to be the short/tall dolls and the cat molds because of the tails) and doll customizers really went all out with enhancing a molds unique features. The only "downside" abt MH dolls is that they (or atleast most)(from what i remember)) had slimmer faces but wider eyes while EAH dolls have wider faces with slimmer smaller which left a canvas for the face and not the eyes (and vice versa for MH dolls)

I've never seen any videos where a barbie is customized (maybe because i absolutely despised barbies at the time) so I'll definitely have to check those out but they seem to be good for realistic makeovers. I've seen like like semi realistic makeovers for EAH/MH dolls that were pretty good too tho (pretty sure mostly EAH dolls since yk MH dolls were used for creature makeovers while most EAH dolls weren't)

yeah i was always amazed by the head shrinking with acetone. honestly i still am?? idunno i have no idea how that chemical bullshit works. Ive seen a few of uh makeovers that just pain over the face (in multiple layers ofcourse) but that's usually when they're painting the entire body a different colour (again usually when they're turning a doll into a funky little baby man). I've also seen a few that just chop the hair off and take out the hair plugs yk without uuh like softening the head or just go straight for the hair plugs after taking off the head (i used to do that it was funny to me??). i always really liked when they used watercolour pencils or just colour pencils in general to draw/sketch on the face cause like wow ur drawing on ur doll without ruining it?? kinda epic maybe even poggers and pogchamp?? oh god my brain is failing wjshsmsj.

Watching them putting the hair back on the doll was, other than the face stuff, was the BEST part for me. Favorite type of hair was iuuuuuh was either thick yarn or brushed out yarn. Literally worship the people that would reroot the hair, theyre the most patience people on this earth!! it's literally insane but i guess that's what happens when you've been doing that for years? you guess kinda get used to it. when they put glue into the head does it just become stiff?? like it's just a clump of dried glue or does it like..hollow out again??

dude you literally cannot convince me most of the supplies used for doll makeovers. APOXIE CLAY LOOKS SO FECKING GOOD. its edible and i will die on that hill. The body mods are literally so amazing!!!!! it's so impressive how theyre able to imagine certain features THEN LIKE ACTUALLY MAKE IT LOOK ACCURATE TO WHAT THEY WANTED TO LOOK LIKE AFTER LIKE ON TRY (or many yk trial and error is very necessary for..everything). Absolutely loved when doll customizers would saw off a dolls legs and use different ones or just completely get rid of the torso to use a different one. it's like uuh that one big guy that's mismatched and sewn together. very cool. The accessories are so fun!! just small little details you seen really need but can add because it's your feckin doll!! I used to be absolutely obsessed over the doll clothes i would find on etsy, so much so that i started sewing shitty shirts and dresses for my uh "customized" dolls (they were absolute HORRORS idk WHY my mom let me feck up my dolls like that).

Thank you for this!! i haven't been able to talk about any of my interests for a while and this just really made me happy!!

Question fer u my fellow MH/EAH enthusiast: what was your favorite MH/EAH movie/episode and doll series. Mine was The fusion dolls (MH obvi) and that MH movie "Haunted" cause we got to know more about Spectra :D

[razieltwelve]

Heroic Fury (Worm/Final Rose)

Fury was supposed to be dead. In fact, he could definitely remembering closing his eyes for the last time on a hill with a wonderful view. It hadn’t been a bad way to go. He’d been one of the oldest chocobos in history, and he’d died with his best friend at his side after a life filled with glory and success. 

He’d kind of expected to wake up in the endless fields the chocobos all believed they went to when they died if they were worthy. Sure, he was basically a jerk, but saving the world more than fifteen times had to be worth something, right?

Apparently not.

Or maybe it was.

“Help!”

The words seemed to echo through his being, and he frowned. Like any self-respecting chocobo who’d lived for more than a decade or two, he was well aware of Aura and how to use it. What troubled him was that his Aura was now closely connected to a much smaller Aura signature, one he wasn’t familiar with, and that same signature was radiating distress.

“Someone, help! Please!”

Sighing, Fury jogged toward the source of shouting. He could just tell this would be troublesome. It didn’t take him more than a minute to reach the site of a car crash. His eyes narrowed. He knew what cars looked like. This car didn’t look like any model he’d seen before. The clothing the little girl tugging at the mangled doors of the car was wearing also didn’t match what people from Remnant wore.

Oh crap.

He’d listened to Diana rant enough times to realise where this was going.

He’d been reincarnated into another universe or something.

“Kweh.”

The little girl stopped, turned, and screamed.

“Ah!”

Rolling his eyes again, Fury tugged on the Aura link between them. It was how chocobos could make themselves understood. Normally, it took time to build up the resonance and closeness required, but for some reason the link was already in place.

“Stop panicking. Are those your parents in the car?”

The girl blinked, and her eyes widened. “Yes…”

“Move.” The girl scooted out of the way, and Fury simply tore the passenger door off its hinges before tugging the woman slumped against the airbag out with his beak. He repeated the process on the driver’s side. “Do you have a scroll?”

“A scroll?” the little girl asked. “What…?”

“A way to contact people.”

“Oh.” She shook her head. “I don’t have anything and…”

Fury sighed. This was already proving to be quite troublesome. “Which way is the closest town?”

“Um…” the girl pointed. “That way.”

“Fine.” Fury used his beak to lift the two adults onto his back before gesturing for the girl to climb on as well. “Hold on. This won’t take long.”

In his prime, Fury had been able to reach speeds well in excess of two hundred miles per hour. Heck, he could cruise at that speed for hours at a time. Unfortunately, he had three passengers, two of whom were in no condition to hold on. Instead, he was forced to go at much more sedate pace that still allowed them to reach the nearest town in a little under half an hour.

Naturally, they panicked when they saw him. He looked heavenward. Seriously? Of all the places he could have been reincarnated into, he had to get stuck in a world without any other chocobos?

X     X     X

Taylor stared at the massive bird in awe. Fury. That was his name. The seven-year-old was still trying to wrap her head around that. A talking bird. A talking bird that was more than ten feet tall. All she could remember about the crash was stumbling out of the car and seeing her parents not moving. She’d been so scared, and she’d wished that there was someone - anyone - who could help her. And then Fury had been there.

Even at the hospital he hadn’t left her side, and there was something comforting about his presence even if he wasn’t exactly the nicest bird. Some of the things he’d said about the way the doctors and nurses treated injuries weren’t very nice.

“They seriously don’t have nano-machine serums here? One of those would have your parents back on their feet within an hour.” The chocobo, as he called himself, scowled. “And don’t even get me started on your other technology. It doesn’t look like you even have holographic projectors.”

“Um… did the place you came from have those things?”

“We had spaceships too,” Fury said. He paused. “Wait… do you guys not have Grimm here?”

“Grimm?”

“Monsters that go around killing everything.”

“We… we have something kind of like that.”

“What do you mean?”

So Taylor, in the scared, halting manner of a seven-year-old told him about the Endbringers.

Fury growled. “It’s a pity my friend’s parents or siblings aren’t here. They’d have your Endbringer probably fixed by tomorrow.”

“…”

“Anyway, Taylor, it looks like we’ll be stuck with each other for a while.”

“Wait…” It suddenly dawned on Taylor what the situation might be. “Are… are you my power?”

“What?” Fury stared. “I’m not your Semblance.”

“What’s a Semblance?”

What followed was a strange conversation as Taylor tried to understand what Fury was saying about powers. Wherever he’d come from, they seemed to work differently from the powers Taylor knew about. When he was done, she tried to explain to him how powers worked.

“I get it.” Fury made a face. “That’s why we’re connected, I guess. Your ‘power’ must have acted like a beacon for whatever dumped me in this universe. I wish Diana was here. She’d figure it out.” Fury twitched. “Either way, you’re the only person with Aura that I’ve seen here.”

“Aura?”

“Oh, you’ll love Aura,” Fury explained. “Want to know what it can do?”

X     X     X

Danny looked up - way up - at the towering bird that stood beside his daughter. Not far away, Annette did the same. 

“This is Fury, dad.” Taylor smiled. “He saved you and mom.”

The bird looked only vaguely interested in being in the same room as him. 

“Uh…” Danny shook himself. “Taylor! Did you get powers?”

“Uh… kind of? Fury says it’s complicated.”

“…”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

This is a bit of fun that I’ve been thinking of for a while. Dumping someone like Lightning or Averia into Worm can be a bit boring since they can curb stomp everything in Worm (and that includes Scion). Fury, however, is not capable of doing that, so he’s got a more interesting journey ahead of him with Taylor.

In this AU, Taylor should have triggered after her family got into a car crash. Instead, whatever force sent Fury there, prevented her from triggering and gave her Aura instead, as well as a helpful (if ornery) chocobo. Instead of Queen Administrator, Taylor will be getting a Semblance. In particular, she’ll be getting Mix and Match, a Semblance that allows for the creation of sentient constructs through combining different objects (e.g., combining a sufficiently large lump of steel with the corpse of badger could give you a giant steel badger). With sufficient crafting expertise and by bootstrapping her way up by combining constructs, she could potentially create constructs of incredible power. Keep in mind, Taylor will also have Aura and the advantages that brings. 

Since she ‘triggered’ at such a young age, this Taylor will end up joining the Wards much sooner. Everyone will also be convinced that Fury is a projection of sorts since, after some trial and error, Taylor realises that she can actually summon and dematerialise him. She is basically his anchor to this reality.

In typical Fury fashion, he is going to try to help her reach her full potential by subjecting her to the same training regimes he saw Taren go through. That’s going to be fun for her. Or not. He might also try to get her to build some of the things from Remnant. Sure, Fury is a chocobo, but he is highly intelligent and he’s seen Taren and the others handle technology enough to know how some of it is made. More fun for Taylor.

Incidentally, if you’re wondering about ratings, here’s how Fury would be rated:

Mover 5+. As one of the greatest chocobos in history, Fury is capable of reaching and maintaing speeds well in excess of 200 miles per hour for extended periods of time. Due to the abilities he possesses as an elite black-and-red chocobo with monstrous quantities of Aura, he can also run impeded across virtually any surface. This includes running across water, ice, and even up vertical surfaces. In principle, he can even run upside down although he dislikes doing it. Using his full speed, he can go supersonic for short bursts, something he uses in many of his more powerful attack techniques.

Brute 5+. Due to the natural durability of an elite chocobo and the effects of Aura, Fury can ignore small arms fire and even withstand multiple hits from anti-tank weaponry, assuming he can even be hit due to his speed. When focused entirely on defence, he becomes even more durable. Using his beak and claws combined with his Aura, Fury can easily tear through steel, concrete, and other durable materials. He would find it trivially easy to simply pierce through the side of a battleship with his beak if he used his Aura to reinforce the blow.

Thinker 3+. Fury has exceptionally well developed combat instincts. An entire lifetime spent fighting alongside Taren and his family have made him arguably the most experienced and skilled chocobo in history. He was able to keep up with S Tier huntsmen and huntresses in melee combat. To most opponents, it will seem like he knows what they’re going to do before they do.

[tmnt-veelicious]

Across the Stars - Ch.16

Writing this chapter somehow felt good. It took time, but I do like the interactions in it ! ANYWAY, have fun reading <3

Nowadays writing this fic helps me calm my nerves a lot~

Maybe there’s some errors here and there, but I’ll probably fix them over time. For now I feel okay with this -shrugs-

!! WARNING, NSFW (18+) STUFF HAPPENING HERE !!

First Chapter –> HERE Previous Chapter –> HERE Next Chapter –> HERE

Vee understood the reasoning, but she still couldn't help feeling left out. Didn't their friendship mean anything to the reporter? No, of course it did, but Vee knew that being apart could provide them a better cover. Moving away would erase their trail, give them a chance to start fresh. It was heartbreaking, but it was needed, in a sense... Her feet brought her to the lair, first finding the place empty, except for Splinter's presence. As she guessed, the guys were on patrol, giving a chance for the artist to spend some time with the sensei. Cup of tea in hand, both seated in the dining area, Vee could finally breathe in and out peacefully, trying to calm her thoughts. Splinter didn't need to talk, he knew there was nothing that had to be forced out. Frankly, he wanted the woman to talk on her own will, reveal her worries if needed. He first noticed her trembling hands, the cup she was holding shaking ever so lightly and the liquid threatening to spill out on a very few occasions. Then her gaze seemed absent, unfocused, lost in thoughts she kept repeating over and over in her mind. ''I hate that I have such a hard time with my emotions,'' she finally started with a small voice. The rat was all ears now, keeping silent in order to not break her chain of thoughts. ''I can either be scared and sad, or terribly angered, it's like there's no inbetween.... I hate that I'm so weak and never know how to react properly. My anxiety pushes me to extremes I do not want to deal with.'' She set her cup down, her eyes meeting Splinter's. ''… I'm sorry, I'm just blabbering.'' ''No, child, you are not,'' replied the rat calmly. ''In this house I want everyone to speak their mind freely.'' A small smile colored his traits. ''You somehow remind me of Raphael.'' The artist showed surprise. ''Well then, time to get dressing in red,'' she lightly joked. ''… How is it so, if you don't mind me asking?'' The other took a sip of tea, gathering his words: ''He, too, deals in extremes. Raphael's emotions are raw and true, which can be both a strength and a weakness. … His thoughts often go haywire, which will provoke many arguments with his brothers, but it's also in those moments of distress that he learns and grows.'' Splinter placed his cup on the table, his hands joining and his posture serene. ''Time is but a wave that brushes us, shapes us like rocks against a never-ending tide. The process is long, tedious, even painful at times, but from the most rugged surfaces emerges smooth and polished results. … Life is a continuous learning process, its trials here for a reason.'' Vee mindlessly rubbed her left forearm, half of a smile appearing on her lips. ''Sometimes it's hard to remember that,'' she said. ''… It's like I'm never allowed to catch my breath.'' ''Do you tell Donatello of your concerns?'' The woman sighed briefly: ''Sometimes. He knows of my situation with my family, he knows about some of my issues, but there are things I prefer to keep at bay. … He shouldn't have to deal with most of my problems. Those weights are mine alone to bear.'' ''Perhaps,'' replied Splinter. ''But a different point of view might bring some light into most of your struggles. … My son is a gentle and rational soul; he is able to view things from a different angle and bring forth a hidden wisdom. He takes great pride in helping others and widening their horizons.'' The rat stood up, coming to the other's side so he could leave a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ''He is very well aware of his limits and I know he cares deeply about you. Do not be afraid to speak your mind with him. He prefers when others are straight-forward and true about their feelings.'' ''I'll try to keep this in mind,'' answered Vee in a gentle tone. ''Thank you, master Splinter.'' Her smile was still on, but as soon as the mutant was out of view as he walked out the kitchen, Vee's mood shifted back to a neutral expression. She tried to push her thoughts and emotions away, knowing now was not the time to sulk and get drowned in such feelings. With a small sigh, she got up in turn, making her way to Donatello's workspace. Sitting down in his chair, she began to tap on his computer, already on the lookout for a new apartment. Anything to keep her occupied... *** ''Man, robbers are so predictable these days. There's not much fun into catching them anymore,'' echoed Raph's voice as the group was making their way back to the lair. ''Dude, what now? You want them to do some parkour shit while we're chasing them?'' laughed Mikey. ''Nah, I mean, they could rob somethin' more interesting than a convenience store! … How 'bout a strip club?'' ''Now we're talkin'!'' Donnie tsked and rolled his eyes, although with a smile. He would've probably entertained the idea in the past, but for now it sounded so futile, he could only be amused by his brothers' shenanigan comments. As they arrived to their home, the turtles parted ways to each their own. At two 'o clock in the morning, there was still time to do things before heading to bed. The purple clad mutant wasn't much for staying late since he'd been up way earlier than his brothers today, but he knew he had one last thing to check at his computer. He approached his station and frowned when he noticed the screens on, a browser opened and the window scrolling. ''What the-...'' he mumbled. He finally got to his chair, turning it around and then noticing Vee, the woman's eyes big by the sudden move. ''Vee?'' ''Uh, yeah, hi. Sorry, I needed your computer....'' she trailed, timid. Donnie shook his head a little, clearing his thoughts. ''N-no, no, it's okay! I simply didn't know you were here. … Since when? Why didn't you call or text me? … And it's late!'' The woman smiled sheepishly. ''It's been hours. … I got in when you guys just left for patrol – at least that's what Splinter told me.'' Her hands fiddled together. ''And, uh, I just needed to see you...'' He instantly knew something was wrong. He glanced at the screen, noticing advertisments for places to rent. ''… What are you doing?'' he asked, his gaze unmoving. ''I'm doing some research.'' ''About what?'' ''I'm trying to find a new apartment for myself.'' Silence. He finally looked back at Vee. The woman seemed smaller than usual, her eyes avoiding him, everything in fact. The mutant finally crouched down to her level. ''… What? Why?'' ''April is moving in with Casey by the end of this month – in three weeks. They say it'll be better this way; it's for protection.'' ''For protection?'' commented Donnie, visibly irritated. ''What, she and Casey simply decided about that without consulting you? Without consulting anybody?'' ''I dunno, Donnie. I'm as confused as you... I'm scared, in fact.'' He slightly froze at that confession. His hands did move, petting her skin tenderly and cupping her cheek. ''… Don't be, love, I'll help you. We'll do this together, okay?'' Vee's head nodded a little, bringing a smile on Donnie's lips – and to her own by the same occasion. Both moved, soon the mutant rightfully sitting in his chair and the human seated in his lap. He could feel the tension in her body, her shoulders stiff and clenched. She was obviously stressed, Donnie trying his best to ease her mind by continuing his petting, his touch soft and light. ''I've found three places that don't look too dirty or horrible so far,'' she began, taking control of the computer mouse. ''… Why are those closet-like apartments so expensive anyway? It's ridiculous! I could get a bigger one in Montréal for maybe even less.'' ''New York's a mess, but it still has its charms!'' ''Gotta agree on that. … It has you!'' The mutant snickered, hugging the human from behind, nuzzling her hair. They spent the next half-hour looking through several advertisments, keeping some aside for Vee to call on the first occasion. After a while, the artist simply gave up, prefering to lean completely against the turtle, feeling his arms snake around her form. She was pensive, lightly frowning as a sigh escaped her lips. ''This whole situation feels so surreal,'' she confessed. ''What's your plan if you can't find anything in time?'' asked Donatello, his fingers absentmindedly pursuing his petting activity. Vee shrugged: ''I dunno. I'd probably stay at a hotel until I find a place...'' The other seemed to hesitate a moment. ''… What about living here, at the lair?'' Vee's body straightened, slightly turning around to look at the other. She seemed unsure, shy... ''I dunno...,'' she started. ''It wouldn't feel right.'' ''What do you mean?'' ''I wouldn't want to intrude. I wouldn't want to be an added burden to your family.'' Donnie frowned: ''What do you mean by an added burden? That wouldn't be true!'' ''Don-'' ''You don't need to do this all by yourself. You're not back in Montréal, Vee. People here care about you, myself obviously included. I wouldn't let you get in trouble anyway.'' ''Donnie, no, I mean-'' she trailed off, knowing she would regret what she was about to say: ''I'm human, I can't- I just... my life is up there.'' That look. The way she could see sadness invade his eyes as he looked down, suddenly realizing her words. She wanted to punch herself. ''Shit, this came out so wrong,'' she mumbled. ''No, no, please, you're thinking rationally. That's not a bad thing,'' added Donnie, his tone calm. ''I was just thinking for myself here.'' ''I still feel like a jerk for saying that.'' He stopped her by lovingly nuzzling her cheek, leaving soft kisses. ''… Can you at least consider the option?'' he asked. ''If things ever go wrong, I just want you to know that you're always welcomed here.'' ''I will,'' answered Vee, her eyes closed as she lost herself to his touch. ''And I appreciate it, that's for sure.'' A soft sigh left her as she still felt the other kiss her skin. The warmest feeling would always invade her whenever near the mutant and she knew she could never get enough of it. ''… Is it okay if I stay for some days?'' she asked in a small voice. ''I don't want to face April right now... I don't know what to do.'' ''Don't worry, it's absolutely fine,'' reassured Donnie. ''I'm glad you're here, anyway.'' ''Wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now...'' added Vee tenderly, turning her head so she could rightfully meet his lips. She still entertained the idea of living here in the back of her mind, but truthfully she knew she was right. At least … she hoped she was. *** The best sign of warmer days was incessant pours of rain, streams coursing down buildings and streets in a most franctic pace. Donnie hated those days, knowing it wasn't the best for his gear, but he managed anyway as he made his way to Vee and April's apartment the very next night the artist got to the lair. She needed more clothes and things, sending the mutant to fetch those as she didn't want to face the reporter yet. The turtle had hoped that the place would be empty, but a dry sigh left him as he spotted lights inside, towards the kitchen. Getting in, he knew his presence would be quickly noticed, soon hearing footsteps coming his way. ''Oh my god, wait, I'll go fetch towels,'' first said April, already on the lookout for something to dry the other. … Gosh he didn't want to talk to her. As the brunette was back, he muttered a 'thanks', already on the task to remove the water on his scales and clothes. A small silence settled in, feeling the woman's gaze on him, but he didn't look back. ''… Where's Vee?'' ''At the lair,'' simply answered Donnie. ''She'll be staying for some days.'' ''And why is she not with you here? What are you doing alone?'' The mutant stopped, neatly folding the towel and next leaving it on a coffee table nearby. When he finally looked back at April, his expression was neutral, yet frowning a little. ''You must certainly have a clue why, April,'' he started. ''… I'm here right now because Vee needs more stuff. 'Cause, you know, I'm helping her to find a new place to live in ridiculous delays. It would have been nicer to have an earlier heads up, but, hey, life's a bitch ain't it?'' April frowned. ''… Look, this is all unexpected-'' ''I don't give a shit,'' cut Donnie, losing the little thread of patience he had held. ''Don't you realize you're putting Vee in trouble? For you it's fine 'cause you already have another place, but for her it's hell. Finding a reasonnable apartment in New York in such brief delays takes luck!'' ''She'll find something!'' ''And what if she doesn't?'' The woman was silent now, her eyes avoiding him. The turtle simply huffed: ''That's right, you don't have any answer 'cause you don't give a damn.'' ''That's not true!'' ''If that was the case, you'd be searching with her. You wouldn't be here all alone.'' ''Donnie, I-'' He stopped her, lifting a hand. ''Look,'' he started. ''I'm not here to pick a fight. Do what you want, I don't care.'' He got on the move, going to Vee's room. But April was not finished. She followed, stopping at the doorframe. ''Can't you understand that I'm also torn about this?'' she started, upset and yet angered a little. ''Vee is my friend and now this is happening. … I don't want to lose her, but I'm doing this with best intentions.'' ''For 'protection', as I was told,'' replied the mutant, still packing things. ''Yes. I-'' She stopped, visibly upholding something. That did pique Donnie's curiosity, finally turning to her and gesturing her to continue. ''Go on, say what's on your mind.'' The brunette folded her arms, her expression faltering as she tried to retain some tears. ''… Casey and I are trying to start a family,'' she muttered. ''He wants me out of danger. He wants me safe...'' Donatello felt his tension fade away, suddenly feeling dumb for not having listened in the first place. ''I know this is all sudden,'' she continued. ''And I told Casey to wait and make things easier. … But that last incident Vee got into, it's like it snapped something in him. … He likes her, but right now he sees her as a trouble magnet and he just wants to get me away from here as fast as he can.'' The turtle's mind was running wild, processing all that information. He sat on Vee's bed, thoughtful. April decided to finally come in, sitting down beside him. ''I don't want all this drama. I don't want Vee to drift away from our friendship,'' she added. ''She's an incredible person and probably the best roommate I ever got,'' she faintly laughed, but it was soon back to contemplation. ''I-, uhm, I'm sorry. I probably sounded so harsh and mean earlier,'' blabbered Donnie. ''Have I known the details better...'' He stopped when he felt the woman's hand on his, stopping his train of thoughts. ''Don't you worry about it. … You're angry, I get it. Vee is sad and hurt and I totally understand that you're feeling this way. … I know how much you love her.'' Removing his glasses, Donnie next pinched lightly inbetween his eyes, trying to smile, but small tears escaping him. ''Dammit,'' he murmured. ''Second time this week....'' He never liked crying. He felt so stupid when doing so... ''What's wrong?'' gently asked April. ''… We're family, Don, you can tell me anything.'' Another attempt of a smile flashed on the mutant's lips, his eyes meeting April's. ''I love her so much, I really do...,'' he started. ''I can't even begin to explain how much good she has brought into my life.'' He tried to dry his tears. ''I love her so much, sometimes it hurts. I just can't see myself without her nowadays. It's like she was that missing part of myself I've been searching for so long... And now that she's here, I can't let her go.'' Gosh, he felt ridiculous.... ''She accepts me for who I am and never questionned if our relationship would work or not because of our... differences. She knows, just as I, that we were meant to meet and experience all of this, together.... I don't believe in fate, but I may as well start as of right now!'' He held the woman's hand in his, seeking small comfort. ''Casey tried to question Vee and I's relationship. I know he wishes for me to stay away from her, but I just can't. I'd never be able to!'' ''Don't you ever let him, or anyone, make a decision for you,'' cut April. ''You deserve all of this, as much as anyone else.'' ''Sometimes it's hard to believe it, but I try my best,'' he smiled lightly. He placed his glasses to their rightful place, trying to shake his weakness away. ''I'd do anything for Vee and all I wish is for her to be safe. … I blame myself so much for what happened recently and I'll dare say I'm a bit surprised that she's still by my side, even with all this bullshit going on,'' he scoffed. ''She is very well aware of the risks,'' started April. ''And that doesn't dissuade her from loving you. … I think, in fact, it reinforces the feelings she has for you. … She admires you, Donnie. You're an inspiration for her and she truly wants to be a part of your life – as long as you let her be so.'' ''And I feel so lucky for that,'' he added. ''I do want her to be in my life...'' He sighed, looking around the room. Everything Vee had to offer; her smile, her laugh, her curiosity, her intellect, her love...  She was fascinating in every aspects. His gaze back on April, he tried to redeem himself with half of a smile, yet sincere. ''I'll talk to her and explain your situation, if that can help and ease the tension.'' ''You can try, but I want to be able to explain myself to her – face to face. Casey and I probably broke her heart.... And I can't stop thinking about it, in all honesty.'' ''Maybe you could also think about ways to help her?'' offered the mutant. ''Right now, I'm sure Vee will gladly accept any help she can get. … And if some of it comes from you, I'm sure it would mean a lot.'' ''For sure,'' answered the woman with a soft smile. ''I'll think of something. I won't let her down.'' Following that consensus, she next helped Donnie pack things for the artist. The mood was definitely lighter, April showing a smirk as she pondered back to everything that previously unfolded. ''You know... you're kinda scary and intimidating when angry,'' she said, amused. ''Didn't expect that from you.'' The terrapin huffed a small chuckle, taking the clothes April was handing to him and putting them in the bag. ''I am 'the calm before the storm', as Mikey likes to say. … My brothers know that I'm chill most of the time, but if my buttons are pressed right I can easily explode. And, I dunno, … since I'm with Vee I have this feeling of 'I must protect' that simply started to amplify. It's somehow difficult to explain.'' ''It's difficult to explain since it's your first relationship, but believe me; this is not an uncommon feeling. Men, as well as women, share this mutual sentiment when they're with someone. You'd do anything for them and they would do the same in return.'' ''Which is somehow fascinating. … I never thought I would feel this way or that anyone would in return.'' ''Then you found the right person,'' winked April. On that he had no doubt! *** As Donatello was away, Vee took that opportunity to get some work done on a music piece she had recently started to compose. Seated at the piano near the terrapin's workstation, she carefully pushed some keys, humming in harmony, and stopping by moments to write notes on a blank partition. It was a soothing tune, reminiscent of calm periods, memories of days spent in silence and contemplation. The smell of her coffee nearby helped for inspiration, the distant echo of rain outside bringing the woman back to such a peaceful scene. Replaying what she had wrote so far, she only noticed a presence nearby as she took a pause and reached for her mug. Raph was watching, his stance relaxed, arms crossed and his body slightly leaning against a metal beam. Vee felt like shrinking, not used to be looked upon when working. ''… Am I playing too loud?'' she asked, shy. ''Oh, no!'' reassured the mutant. ''Sorry, I was just listenin'. … What you're playin' sounds nice.'' A soft smile crossed the woman's lips: ''Thanks! It's still in the works, though.'' Raph lightly frowned, getting in motion towards the artist. ''Wait, what? You composed that?'' ''Sure thing! I studied in that field at some point back in College. Better make some use of that knowledge.'' ''Alright, smarty-pants, next time I'll just assume you learned how to do everything, just like Donnie,'' joked the other. That did get a hushed laugh out of Vee, knowing too well she could never truly compare to her boyfriend. Her expression shifted after a quick thought, soon changing the subject as Raph was still near. ''Hey … are you busy?'' she asked. ''Depends for what,'' smirked the turtle. Vee's position shifted on her bench, now her back facing the piano. ''Is it okay if we chat for a bit? Please, have a seat,'' she offered, gesturing a chair so he could bring it near. The red clad mutant seemed unsure at first, but soon shrugged it off as he brought the furniture next to the woman, sitting down and crossing his arms once more. ''Sure. What's on your mind, nerd?'' Vee's mind was suddenly blank, somehow feeling ridiculous for what she was about to bring up: ''… Last night I was kinda in a bad place. I was angry, I couldn't think straight. And once I got here, I was on the verge of a panic attack. … I know you probably don't give a damn-'' ''Why wouldn't I give a damn?'' he cut, calm. The artist was silent, her eyes meeting his. He didn't look annoyed nor angry; he was curious and ready to listen. ''I dunno, I guess that's my anxiety talking here,'' she answered. ''I don't usually talk about that bullshit to others – Donnie being the exception so far.'' ''Yeah he told us about your anxiety.'' He noticed Vee's small frown. ''Don't worry, it was all in good faith,'' quickly corrected Raph. ''He just wanted to inform us about it. … But yeah, what about last night?'' Vee took a sip of coffee, collecting her thoughts. A soft smile was back on her lips, remembering Splinter's words. ''… It seems like we share something, you and I,'' she started. ''Master Splinter told me I reminded him of you, as I also deal with my emotions in absolutes. And … I guess what I wanted to ask is; do you have any tricks or tips about how to deal with such feelings?'' A stifled laugh left the mutant, but never was it in a mocking tone. He shifted his position, his arms no longer crossed as he was now more open to the conversation. ''I'm not sure I'm the best to share any wisdom,'' he started. ''Why not go ask Leo or wait for Donnie to come back?'' ''Because I'm asking you, Raphael. I want your opinion.'' That simple answer shut him up, both now seizing each their emotions and intentions. The turtle sighed after a moment, somehow surprised to be asked about his input. ''… Well, first of all, you gotta learn to accept that those feelings are a part of you. I know they suck and we'd be better off without them, but you've got to honor them.'' He joined hands, somehow feeling uneasy, but still talking: ''You feel them for a reason, and the sooner you accept those, the better it becomes. … Uhm, if you need to punch something, do it! I know it helps me. … There's a punching bag in the dojo.'' That brought a smile on Vee's features, still listening patiently. ''You have the right to be mad at people, but that feeling should never stay with you. … At some point it'll just start to rot and, well, that ain't good. … You can scream, you can cry, you can do anything, as long as you get it out your system. That's why I blow out sometimes. But I've been learning to manage those moments, setting boundaries for others to respect and for me to retreat and let the steam away.'' His eyes were soft, his smile friendly. ''… What I'm tryin' to say, though, is that you shouldn't be scared to show your true colors. At least, not with Donnie, and even with me. … This family can handle anythin'!'' ''I have no doubts about that,'' sweetly commented Vee. ''…. Thanks, Raph.'' ''Heh, t'wasn't much, though.'' ''Still, what you said made sense and it was nice to hear.'' It was somehow surprising to witness this side of the terrapin. On the first meeting, he had seemed as unaproachable, stern, and a man of very few words; while in fact he could be truly articulate and wise, thanks to experiences. Maybe it took him time to truly open up to Vee, and the woman was glad he was finally starting to. ''Never thought you'd be the kind of person to blow up,'' added Raph, playful. ''I thought you were just some kind of shy bean like my tree of a brother.'' That brought up a laughter from the artist, her smile never fading away. ''I tend to bottle my emotions a lot and at some point it just snaps. It's mostly tears most of the time. It ain't pretty.'' ''It never has to be pretty,'' commented the terrapin. ''But if that's what it takes to cool you down, so be it. And if one day Donnie cannot accept that, you tell me and I'mma beat his ass up. I'm dead serious.'' ''Deal,'' chuckled Vee. ''Although I'm sure it'll never get to that.'' *** The day had seemed to last forever. From work being hectic to calling landlords in order to plan visits to certain apartments, Vee thought her mind would explode at some point. No matter how many coffees she drank, it seemed like her energy was being sapped away, her headache everlasting. She only started to breathe once she made her way back to the Lair, feeling like she could finally put everything behind her and get to relax. … Or so she thought! How was she dragged into bo staff training with Donnie? At this point she just shrugged it off, simply glad to spend time with him. Both were dressed for a workout; Vee in black leggings and a sport bra, Donnie wearing dark grey sweatpants. He looked at ease, effortlessly warming up by doing simple rowing and figures with his staff as Vee was stretching. That show off, thought the woman, both showing a smirk as their gazes crossed. Up on her feet, the first thing she felt was the tip of Donatello's staff lightly tapping and poking her thighs and sides, his grin forever present as he started to talk. ''Today you're gonna learn how to not hit yourself.'' He brought Vee closer to him with the help of his bo, keeping her a prisonner. ''The staff is an extension of your arms and a tool that gains much power, all thanks to velocity. You have to be aware of where both its extremities are at all times.'' ''Hmm, so far I like this lesson,'' commented Vee, gently tapping his plastron. ''Focus and you shall be rewarded greatly!'' ''Ho, ho! Yes, sir!'' They were both playful and smiling, the lesson finally starting. The main trick was to repeat movements and be at ease with them. Vee's main weakness was her coordination, which she always thought was funny considering how most of her activities – such as playing music – required such skill. Having Donnie to comment on her technique and help her understand each strikes was definitely a great way for her to learn. He would often stand behind her, holding her hands in his and guiding her. As much as he wanted to stay serious and be a proper teacher, he couldn't help leaving some kisses here and there, mostly as rewards. ''Do you think one day I'd be able to kick your butt?'' asked Vee at some point, amused and comically tapping her staff's ends against his biceps as she was standing before him. Donnie pondered for a moment, only to soon frown with a smile, grabbing her stick in turn and easily lifting the woman up to him with a playful growl. Vee let out a surprised sound, feeling his hold swiftly shift to hold her around her hips and butt, keeping her against him. ''I highly doubt so,'' he answered with a laugh. ''You're free to try, though.'' Vee dropped her staff, frowning in turn. She did not hesitate to start poking his sides, getting a yelp from the terrapin. That made him backtrack until his shell stopped him against a wall, laughing and pleading for the human to stop her poking and tickling. He slid down to sit on the floor, things finally starting to slow down. ''See? I won,'' pointed Vee, feeling victorious. Their eyes met and things suddenly shifted. Maybe it was the heat of the moment, the general good feeling of it all? Donnie's hands were petting Vee's back and skin, keeping her so close and their lips brushing. ''I admit... you leave me weak everytime I see you,'' murmured the turtle. The artist's touch trailed on his pebbled skin, from the sides of his neck to his shoulders. She couldn't describe it, yet she felt that magnetism. That feeling that pulled her to him, like a spell. Their lips finally met, eager to feel one another. A flame was lit, their breathings harsh and their touch persistent on one another. Her hips moved on their own, starting a slow grind as she kept kissing. Donnie did not stop her; in fact he kept her movement going by keeping his hands on her waist. The world was spinning, making them feel dizzy with love. Vee was only able to take back her breath for a moment, keeping close as she mumbled: ''What if someone walks in?'' Oh she could already feel his erection, the mutant's churr so deep and low. ''I don't give a fuck,'' he answered, going back into another kiss. Pleasure and desire were already there, Vee's skin getting over-sensitive and letting some moans escape her. Her arms were now hooked around his neck, her body a wave as she kept brushing it against her lover. She felt one of Donnie's hands eagerly tugging at her leggings, soon getting one of her legs out of it. Vee, in turn, only needed to pull down his sweatpants enough to let his sex out, grinding against it with a growing lust. Passion was way high and only the present moment mattered. Everything else was insignificant, the craving of sex increasing with each seconds. I need you right now. Time seemed like a blur, both joining soon enough. Their tempo was already at a langourous pace, breaths harsh and translating their need. ''Ffffffuuuck,'' mewled Vee. She could feel him entirely, rubbing every right parts of her in such a delicious way. His lips trailed her skin, his hands holding onto her as if afraid that she would disappear. They both couldn't lie: the possibility to get caught in the act brought such an immense thrill. It blasted their lust through the roof, eager to meet their end. ''Don't stop, baby, keep going,'' encouraged the mutant breathlessly, his tone only for her to hear. He was answered with a kiss, Vee's pace keeping up and her body trembling from sheer excitement. Her moans were lost against him, her thoughts spinning as she knew her pursuit to ecstasy was coming sooner than expected. Maybe it was because of the spontaneity of it all... A first orgasm rushed through her in a powerful wave, somehow surprised by how short it took her to obtain it. She could feel Donnie's smile against her cheek, his churr rumbling so strongly in his chest and bringing renewed shivers to Vee. Please. Again. ''Cum with me,'' pleaded the artist, nuzzling the other's face, her lips grazing his'. She felt the terrapin's hands get a hold of her hips, guiding her movements. All he could think about was her; her scent, her voice, the feel of her skin and her sex. He never felt that much complete before, like an intricate puzzle that had finally found its missing piece... The way she whispered his name in need, some sweet ''I love you'' escaping her like a melody, oh he did not mean to moan that much in turn, but he couldn't help it! He needed to kiss her just as much as he needed to breathe It was vital, primordial, his eternal need. Vee's whimpers and mewls told him she was close once more, the mutant abandoning himself into this feeling. The next thing he knew was that he was feeling the same bliss as her, nuzzling her and trailing kisses as he cummed. Both were on a cloud, panting as their hands kept caressing one another. Their pace slowed down little by little, the friction ever still so good. The turtle's churr could only express his love, kissing again and again at Vee's neck; enough to leave a mark. Things finally came back down to earth, their eyes meeting. And that's when they softly laughed, still joined, ever feeling so good. ''Did that just happen for real?'' asked Vee, smiling and blushing. ''Judging by how we're still sitting here, linked to one another, I'd say it was indeed very real!'' answered Donatello, snickering. The woman hid her face against the other's neck, grumbling from both amusement and shyness. ''Is the lesson over?'' she added. ''My legs are kinda dead right now...'' She felt the mutant kiss the top of her head, his arms surrounding her into a warm embrace. ''Sure thing, love. In fact, this calls for a bath time. It'll help relax your muscles.'' ''Only if you come take it with me.'' ''Always,'' he cooed. *** As the water stopped running, a long and confortable sigh left the woman as she laid her front side against Donatello's chest, both instantly getting into an embrace, Vee nuzzling her lover's neck and jaw. They could hear faint music coming from the main room of the lair, probably Mikey blasting it somewhere. Deep basses that rumbled in the air, suave hip-hop beats that settled a mood; a New York state of mind. God, she felt so good. She wanted to stay like this forever. Feel this love and have no worries in mind. Her smile was soft, slowly trailing kisses here and there, appreciating the sensation of his scales against her lips. ''I'll be visiting two apartments this weekend,'' she started in a sweet tone. ''They don't seem too bad. I can't wait to see them.'' Their eyes met, the artist still speaking: ''And you know what? I kept thinking about it and now I know why it'll be good that I get my own place.'' ''Do tell,'' added Donnie. ''It will be our place. … Something for the both of us. Something for when you need to get away from the others and just relax. I could even have a corner just for you! Have a desk with things you can work on, I dunno!'' The mutant chuckled, finding the idea adorable and yet very alluring. ''That does sound nice,'' he answered, his fingers tenderly tracing the woman's back. ''Will you be visiting them alone?'' ''I guess so...'' ''Maybe April could check them out with you.'' Vee frowned lightly, remaining silent as she laid her head down against one side of his neck. She mumbled a faint ''I dunno'', a sharp sigh leaving her. She could still feel Donnie's hands against her skin, keeping up his petting and remaining calm. ''… I spoke with her when I went to grab your things. She really feels bad for everything that's happening.'' ''Yeah, sure,'' interjected the artist dryly. ''And she wants to make it up to you,'' continued the other, not skipping a beat after her comment. ''… She wants to explain herself and patch things up. She cares for you, Vee.'' ''Did she tell you why she's moving with Casey?'' ''Yes.'' The artist's head was back up, staring straight at the male. ''So? Why?'' The turtle looked somewhat uneasy, meditating his answer. ''… I don't think it's up to me to explain why. She wants to discuss it with you-'' ''Fuck that,'' cut Vee, iritated. ''Keeping that reason away from me right now will only make me want to not see her even more.'' She couldn't hide her slight pain. ''I'm tired of drama and people keeping secrets. I just want to know so I can stop worrying and coming up with thousands of scenarios in my head. … Can't you at least understand that?'' Facing the other's contemplative silence, the woman got in motion with a sharp sigh, about to exit the bathtub, but Donnie's hand got a gentle hold of her arm, murmuring a ''come here'' as he brought her back to him. Petting her skin again, he left some kisses against her head, feeling sorry. ''Yes I do understand,'' he started. ''I just wanted to respect April's wishes too.... But you're right, I shouldn't let you worry like that.'' ''And I don't even need the full details,'' commented Vee. ''Just the big lines, I don't care. …. But I deserve the right to know.'' The terrapin's sigh was heavy, but his voice calm. ''April and Casey want to start a family. And in light of the recent events, Casey wants April out of any harm – hence why he's urging her to move in with him.'' ''Why didn't she say anything? … For how long were they planning this 'starting a family' thing?'' ''For that I have no answer. You'll need to seek that out with her.'' ''I guess so...,'' mumbled Vee. ''… She calls me a friend, yet she does not confide things like that to me.'' ''Hey, everyone's trying their best, alright? … Don't get started on scenarios and jump to conclusions. You still have to hear her out.'' The woman still mumbled some words under her breath, face hidden against the other's skin. She knew he was right and, frankly, she was glad that he was trying to bring some sense into her. Getting anxious would bring her no good... ''Alright,'' she finally spoke up, moving her head so she could make eye contact with the mutant. ''I'll call her tomorrow and see if she wants to come with me.'' ''Attagirl,'' added Donnie with a soft smile, his fingers trailing along her spine to the nape of her neck. ''You'll see, things will settle. Arguments may occur, but there's always a way to fix things up.'' ''Depends on the situation, but I guess you're right.'' ''I'm always right,'' joked the male. Vee playfully splashed some water towards him, giggling. ''Don't push it!''

[archedspnsry-blog]

How to Choose and Buy the proper quite Medical Marijuana for You

Using medical marijuana is most difficult when it involves dosing properly. you've got multiple ways to administer the drug and even then you've got to work out the way to roll in the hay accurately. Let’s take a glance at the various types you'll purchase and what can help provide the foremost relief for you.

What differing types of Medical Marijuana am i able to Get?

Medical marijuana literally comes altogether kinds of different shapes, forms, colors, and designs . If you smoke or vape it you'll have a greater selection of various strains and you'll find out how all affects you. Vaporizing, a minimum of thus far as we currently know, poses a significantly lower risk than smoking, which I personally wouldn’t recommend. If you would like to settle on a particular strain responsibly, go buy a top quality vaporizer and skip the joints. If you would like to avoid any potentially unknown risks of vaporizing, you'll purchase sprays and tinctures for equally simple dosing. Marijuana products also are available the shape of topical waxes, food, and drinks. Let’s discuss your seriously insane number of options.

Vaporizers: you'll get an inexpensive vape pen at just about any dispensary or smoke buy about $15-20 and it’ll do the trick. you'll also buy a top quality vaporizer if you see a true benefit in spending around 10 times more. With a vaporizer you insert a cartridge, press a button, suck within the marijuana vapor, and blow it right out. Unlike smoking, you are doing not got to hold the vapor in your mouth. Suck it in, push it out, and you’re done.

How does one skills much of the drug you only got with one “hit” (a puff on the vaporizer, basically)? The cartridge you inserted will say what percentage hits you'll get from it and the way much marijuana it contains (usually 150mg, 200mg, or 300mg). With some easy math you’ll find that you simply probably got between 1.5mg and 3mg per hit. We’ll discuss this afterward when cover dosing practices, but you’ll probably want to undertake no quite 4-6mg your first time (whereas an individual with a moderate tolerance would take 10-20mg for a dose). Vaporizing/vaping offers the advantage of a fast onset of effects (5-30 minutes) and straightforward and accurate dosing.

Tinctures and Sprays: Tinctures are bottles of liquid that you simply suck up with an eye fixed dropper and administer each dose sublingually (under your tongue). You administer sprays sublingually also , however you only push the cap like all spray bottle and out comes the drugs . Both supposedly become very quickly (5-30 minutes) like vaporizing, although in my experience it took closer to 45-60 minutes (half of the time of an edible). Neither the sprays or tinctures taste particularly good, but sprays often accompany a burning sensation whereas tinctures don't . Still, I prefer sprays because they're very portable, discreet, and straightforward .

Edibles: I prefer edibles over the other sort of Medical Marijuana for sales online because although they will provide a dosing challenge, you've got a spread of cost-effective (and fun) options. you furthermore may don’t need to waste some time deciding a selected dose because you'll just buy a selected dose together with your edible.

A company called Kiva makes my favorite option—chocolate bars with segments containing a selected amount of the drugs , and even better, a tin of chocolate covered blueberries (or espresso beans, if you prefer) that contain 5mg of THC and make dosing straightforward and predictable. Cheeba, another company i prefer , makes taffy chews that also offer easy dosing. When trying to find a mixture of CBD and THC, or maybe solely CBD, Cheeba features a excellent , simple set of taffy options. they are doing not, however, taste good.

If you don’t have access to those or prefer something else, don’t fret. If a food exists within the world, you'll probably find a version of it infused with marijuana. Despite what proportion I prefer edibles, they take longer than anything to figure . You’ll need to wait two hours to understand how they’ll affect you and you absolutely shouldn't ingest more until those two hours are up. most of the people find the intensity of edibles to be much greater than the other sort of marijuana. In my case, edibles provided more pain relief long after the “high” went away. I could use them before bedtime, sleep well, and awaken pain free without the any high whatsoever. Smaller doses also tend to be simpler , which is successively more cost effective. Finally, edibles don’t always provide a uniform experience. Some companies, just like the ones i discussed , do their best to make sure that you simply get the quantity of drugs specified on the package. Many edibles catch on wrong, either providing more or but advertised. you'll usually guess by the standard of the packaging which edibles you'll trust, but trial and error is that the only thanks to know surely.

Pills: If you don’t want to taste marijuana, or anything in the least , you'll purchase pills containing marijuana oil to swallow instead. They often appear as if vitamin E supplements and are pretty discreet. They work similarly to edibles therein they take time to figure . Additionally, pills usually cost far more than their edible equivalents. On the upside, the quantity of drugs in each pill tends to be more accurate.

Topical Wax (Balms): don't confuse topical wax with wax (something we’re getting to ignore during this article because it’s not relevant.) Topical wax may be a balm that you simply rub on your skin. you'd think about using topical wax or other marijuana balms if you've got pain during a specific area. It takes around an hour to figure and it smells strongly like—you guessed it—marijuana. most of the people won’t find this worthwhile, but some people affected by skin conditions that cause pain, soreness, and migraines appreciate its somewhat localized effects. If the topical wax contains THC, it'll still get you high.

While edibles worked best on behalf of me , something else might work best for you. the sole way you’ll ever know needless to say is to undertake your options, and check out them multiple times. Different edibles, vaporizer cartridges, sprays, and tinctures work differently than their counterparts. In some cases, you'll find the precise same product works differently because a dose was a touch off for one reason or another. Remember, none of those are pharmaceutical-grade products, and that they all lack that level of consistency—even the great ones. even as i like to recommend giving a replacement television program a couple of episodes before you judge it fully, you ought to give any medical marijuana product a couple of tries also . Just confirm you don’t have anywhere to be for subsequent 4-16 hours. Until you recognize how the drug will affect you, don’t make plans you would possibly not be ready to keep.

[fanfic-inator795]

RotTMNT/Baron Jitsu fanfiction: Dating… With Children - Chapter Nine

(Also on AO3 if you want to leave a comment or kudos)

Plot:  Benjamin Draxum hardly considered himself a man of high social standing. Not because he was uncouth or unworthy of it, mind you, but simply because he didn’t have much of a social life. Hard to have one when he usually spent his days at work, cooped up in a lab for so long that he often had his lunches in there, and his nights at home reading or doing research for more personal projects. But perhaps meeting handsome semi-retired movie star - as well as his four young sons - could change all that…

((Shoutout to @halloweennut and her kind words (as well as her own drabble based on this AU) for inspiring me to get back to this story for a bit, heh ^v^ I've written two other chapters along with this one, just to make up for both the hiatus before this aaaand the hiatus after this (I still have my TMNT Big Bang fic to finish up, and this fic is kind of a 'when I'm in the mood for it' project anyway. Hope this big content drop makes up for it though. Enjoy! ^v^))

“He's definitely got his own lab! He's a scientist, he has to!”

“Oh yeah! Totally!”

“Do you think he's got his own library room too? Smart people always have libraries in their homes.”

“Yeah, but he knows how to fight like Pop does, so maybe he's got a gym too? Or maybe a whole ring! That would be really cool!”

“He's a scientist, Raphie, not a wrestler!”

“He can both if he wants to be!”

“What are you boys talking about back there?” Lou asked, stopping to look over his shoulder at his sons while also taking a moment to shift the small bag of food to his other arm.

“Nothing!” The four boys quickly shouted, all of them flashing an innocent smile for good measure.

Lou hummed, his expression a mix of suspicious and endeared. “...Just remember, we are guests in Ben’s apartment. So remember to behave yourselves, alright?”

“We will!” “Mmhm!” “Yep!” “Promise!” Satisfied, Lou continued leading the way up to his boyfriend’s Manhattan apartment.

While Lou certainly didn't mind Draxum coming over to his house all the time, Draxum still insisted that their next visit be at his place, figuring it would only be fair. And, similar to their first shared meal, Lou and his sons would be bringing dessert while Draxum would take care of supper. Although, thanks to his youngest’s insistence, he was also bringing something else to share with Draxum in both food and experience. He just hoped his boyfriend didn't mind too much.

Finally, they arrived and Lou knocked on the door. His boys gathered tightly around his legs, all of them eager to see what could possibly inside the apartment. After a few seconds - though it had seemed like an eternity - Draxum opened the door. “Glad you all could make it,” he told them, giving the family of five a small smile.

“Same to you,” Lou smirked, closing the distance between them for a quick peck on the lips that was happily returned.

Once Draxum stepped to the side, the boys didn't even wait for an invitation and just rushed in. Though, that speed didn't last very long unfortunately. From the plain walls and hardwood floors to the closed curtains and the simple bookshelf next to it (nowhere near enough to be a library), it was plain to see that Draxum’s apartment was, well… Just an apartment.

“...Well this place is boring,” Leo stated.

Lou frowned. “Leonardo, manners,” he lightly scolded.

“Oh, uh, I mean, your apartment is… Super cool?” Leo corrected, sheepishly smiling up at his dad’s boyfriend who thankfully didn't look too offended.

Deciding to be a bit more honest, Donnie added, “We thought you would have a lab here, since you're a scientist.”

“Yeah!” Mikey chirped, with Raph nodding along with him, “Just like the smart people on tv!”

“Well,” Draxum replied, chuckling slightly, “I don't think my landlord would be too thrilled with a home lab. It's easier to keep my projects at my office anyway. Although, I was able to set up a small exercise space in my spare room.” Raph grinned at that. Not a gym or wrestling ring, but close enough to feel like his guess had been right.

As for Donnie, while he was disappointed at the lack of a lab or sci-fi decor, the collection of books did catch his attention. He moved to pull one out, but stopped when he heard his dad - who was still keeping an eye on them, even after he and Draxum had moved to the kitchenette - clear his throat. “Oops. Uh, may I PLEASE look at your books, Dr. Draxum?”

“You may,” Draxum nodded, “thank you for asking.” Donnie smiled, and quickly began his search through the small collection, wanting to see for himself what stories and subjects the doctor was into even if he didn't get a chance to read any of it that night.

“An’ can I open up the curtains?” Mikey asked, pointing at the hidden window.

That request Draxum had to actually consider a bit. He did like his privacy, after all… Though one open set of curtains wouldn't be too bad, he supposed. “You may,” he repeated.

“Thanks!” Mikey grinned, running over to the window. His brothers in red and blue joined him, and once they got them open all three of them looked at the fantastic view with awe. “Wowwwwww! The city looks so pretty from your home, Draxum!”

“Yeah!” Raph agreed, “Hey Pop, it's sorta like the time you took us to the top of the Empire State Building, only all the lights are way closer!”

“Heh, yep, it looks like a great view,” Lou smiled, enjoying it himself before looking back at Draxum, “So, Doc, what are we having?” Whatever it was, it smelled great.

“Just some roasted chicken and potatoes,” Draxum answered, “I didn't want to make something your boys didn't want to eat, so I just kept it simple.”

Lou laughed a bit at that. “Trust me, they are not picky eaters. But chicken sounds great, and I may have another side dish for us, if you are interested.” Setting his bag down, he first took out the family-sized tiramisu he had bought, wanting to get it in the fridge as soon as possible. That definitely surprised Draxum a bit, not expecting kids under ten to enjoy something like tiramisu.

But what was even more surprising was when Lou pulled out a bag of rice, a small package of seaweed, and a jar of pickled plums. “Rice balls?”

“Mikey’s idea,” Lou explained, his smile softening a bit, “Making them was one of our first ‘family night’ things that we did…” He could remember it well, all the trial and error they went through along with all the laughs, finally culminating in a place of rice balls that they were all pretty proud of, not caring about all the stray bits of rice that they would have to clean afterwards. “I tried telling him that we were only supposed to bring dessert, but he was insistent that he wanted to teach you. Though, I’d understand if you wanted to do it another time, onigiri making can get pretty messy.”

“Well, no messier than any other type of cooking, I would think,” Draxum lightly retorted. Really, the idea itself he could pass on. But the fact that it was Mikey’s idea, and no doubt something all the kids would enjoy doing together… Gah, when did he become such a softie? It was aggravating in a way, yet also something he knew he wouldn’t care much about in the moment. “We’ve got another half an hour until supper’s done anyway, so why not?” After all, it was just shaping steamed rice, how hard could it be?

...Apparently, much harder than he thought.

“Are you SURE you wet your hands enough?” Leo asked, once again leaning over Draxum’s arm.

“Yes,” Draxum huffed. It wasn't his hands that were the problem, it was the rice that refused to stay together! The more he tried to form it, the more rice that would just fall off or stick to his hand. Wasn’t it supposed to be ‘sticky’ with itself? He narrowed his eyes as he noticed more of his rice falling off his ‘ball’ (really it was more like a misshapen lump).  

Lou tried to hide his smile, sympathizing with Draxum but also being way too amused. “It doesn’t have to be perfect,” he told him, repeating the words he had first used with his kids nearly three years ago, “Rice tastes like rice no matter how together it is.”

“I know,” Draxum mumbled, his eyes refusing to leave the rice as he continued trying to work it into the proper shape.

“Don’t worry about squishin’ it,” Raph suggested, “It’s already soft, so you can’t really ruin it, so just squeeze it together as tight as you can!” He demonstrated this by squishing his rice ball between his hands like he was squishing a ball of playdoh.

“I still say you should just go wash your hands again,” Leo commented

Draxum huffed again. “Honestly, maybe that wouldn’t be a bad idea,” he said as he glared at the rice sticking to his palms and fingers.

Across the coffee table from him (Draxum didn’t have nearly enough chairs for everyone, so they settled for sitting in the living room on the floor), Donnie made a face. “Yeah, I hate the feeling of rice on my hands too. That’s why it’s just better to use a wet spoon,” he told him, using his tool of choice to finish off his triangle-shaped treat. Leo suddenly coughed, unsubtly hiding the word ‘cheater’ in it. Donnie lightly elbowed his twin, and Leo returned the action, sticking his tongue out.

While he had no problems with Donnie using a ‘cheat’, Draxum’s pride still made him want to make onigiri the proper way, even if it was easier said than done. “Well I think it looks really good,” he heard Mikey say, the boy in orange sitting up a bit straighter as he tried to get a better view at it. Mikey’s own rice balls were practically perfect, and Draxum had a feeling that once he was tall enough to safely use the stove and oven, Mikey would no doubt become the chef of the Jitsu family.  “Even if it’s kinda small, it’ll still be yummy! And you’re still having fun, right?”

Finally breaking eye contact with his frustrating, very much imperfect creation, Draxum looked at Mikey’s hopeful face. “...Well, it’s not as easy as I thought it would be, but… I guess it is fun, in a way,” he answered after some thought. Mikey grinned, leaning on him in place of a hug, not wanting to put his own sticky hands on Draxum’s shirt and ruin it.

Looking back at his rice ball with a silent sigh, Draxum picked up a piece of seaweed around the lump, effectively finishing it and placing it on the plate. After a moment of thought, he turned to Mikey. “Would you like to help me with the next one?”

“YEAH!” Mikey shouted, jumping to his feet immediately, “I’ll help you make the best rice ball ever!” he told him as he raced back over to the sink to wet his hands.

Despite his rice fail, the youngest Jitsu’s excitement still managed to bring a small smile to Draxum’s face. “I’m sure you will,” he said as he followed Mikey to the kitchen. As they prepared to get started, Draxum intently listening while Mikey eagerly explained his own tricks to getting the rice ball to keep its shape, Lou’s smile only grew. There was no denying now that his orange son had the right idea about sharing this piece of their family nights with the man that was quickly becoming family too.

By the end of it all, Draxum’s statement about the onigiri making being its ‘own sort of fun’ had become a bit more true. (Weirdly enough, it was easier to relax and not focus so much on perfection when a child was taking the lead.) Still, he was glad to wash his hands for the final time as they all worked together to clean off the leftover rice and set the coffee table for their supper, finishing the making of their rice balls just seconds before the timer went off.

As Lou had promised, the kids quickly dug into their food without complaint, though Draxum decided to try the rice before the main course. After all the effort put into making the damn things, he wasn’t going to let himself get too full to even eat them. “...I’m not sure about the plum, but the rice and seaweed itself is pretty good,” he said after a couple bites.

“We usually put fish or whatever in ‘em,” Raph told him, “But I still kinda like the plum.”

“Althoughhhh…” Getting an idea, Leo reached for a rice ball. Opening it up a bit, he then stuck a piece of his chicken into it. “There! Chicken and rice goes great!”

“It doesn’t really go with plum though,” Donnie commented.

“Maybe potato would work better?” Mikey asked, already sticking a piece of herb covered potato into his rice ball. Curious, his brothers all did the same.

“Oh yeah, kinda!” “Weird mix, but it does taste alright!” “Sorta like puttin’ cranberries on your potatoes at Thanksgiving.”

Knowing he couldn’t really discourage their food experimenting, Lou just chuckled slightly as his kids pretty much tore apart their hard work to try and mix it with the other food on their plate. “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that leftover rice.”

“I suppose not,” Draxum smirked back before taking another bite of his onigiri.

Conversation remained light and enjoyable as they ate, sometimes with the boys discussing something on their own while Lou and Draxum had their own conversation, and other times they’d all be on the same subject. And, like most things Draxum had come to expect from the Jitsu family, it was a bit unusual and a little loud yet still very much comfortable, with the hot homemade food in his stomach only adding to his warmth.

When their plates were cleared and boredom already starting to settle in, Lou figured they would just turn on the tv and settle for whatever primetime movie or show was on. But, as it turned out, Draxum had a surprise of his own…

“Trivial Pursuit for Family?” he read off the clearly newly-bought box, raising an eyebrow. His kids, excited to play, were already setting up the game over the coffee table, setting their pieces of tiramisu to the side for the moment.

“Yes, well, your family seemed like the type that would enjoy game nights,” Draxum explained, “And well, I figured-”

“That this would be a good board game that was both entertaining for the kids and NOT completely torturous for us to play?” Lou grinned, knowing very well what sort of obnoxious board games were on the shelves of toy stores. (He loved his boys with all his heart but he was NEVER AGAIN buying something like Toilet Trouble or anything similar.)

“Got it in one,” Draxum flatly told him, not even trying to deny it. Lou laughed and returned to his seat on the floor. Sure he wasn’t the biggest fan of trivia, but Lou figured it would still be a pretty fun time.

The boys ended up splitting themselves into teams, with Mikey and Leo on one and Donnie and Raph on the other, just to make it a bit more fair to someone like Mikey who wasn’t as far in school as his brothers were. This also kept things from getting too competitive, since all of them had at least one subject they were well versed in and now had a partner they could discuss the answers they didn’t know with, which kept one team from completely dominating over the other.

As for Draxum and Lou, they were on their own. A seemingly fair idea for the adults… In theory.

“...Oh come on, seriously?” Lou scowled, “That is the question?”

“You heard me,” Draxum told him, “‘Who led the first expedition to the North Pole’?”

“How am I supposed to know something like that?!”

“Pretty sure the answer’s Santa Claus,” Leo half-whispered to Mikey, who nodded firmly in agreement.

“Actually, it was Robert Peary,” Draxum told them, having already flipped the card over. Lou scoffed, passing the dice to his left. Lousy history questions. Why couldn’t he land on ‘Entertainment’ or ‘Sports’? At least those he somewhat knew.

His sons had much better luck, answering their Kids Questions at a steady pace. Donnie naturally always aced the science questions while Raph helped with sports. Even at age five, Mikey surprisingly knew a lot about art from the various picture books he had looked through on the subject, and Leo knew quite a bit of history. They all knew most of the entertainment questions related to kids media, but not having a good grasp on the geography outside of their home city meant that landing on a blue space would always get a loud groan from the duo unlucky enough to land on it.

Soon enough it was Draxum’s turn once again, and Lou drew a card from the Adult card holder, thankful that his boyfriend hadn’t landed on a green space at least. He didn’t seem like an artsy guy, so maybe an Art and Culture question would trip him up some. “‘Which is not a vocal part in an all-male barbershop quartet’?” Lou read, “‘Baritone, lead or al-’?”

“Alto,” Draxum answered, “Can’t exactly have a high part in singing that’s meant to be low.”

“So what, you’re a music expert now?” Lou asked, nearly tossing the card aside. He could hear his sons trying to hide their giggling while Draxum coolly picked up a purple wedge.

“Getting a little competitive, are we, Lou?”

“Shittakaburi.” Draxum just chuckled, not needing to understand him in order to still be amused by his boyfriend’s pouting. Of course, not even Draxum was smart enough to get EVERY question right, so Lou was still able to get his light-hearted digs in whenever Draxum did get something wrong.

Still, neither of them ended up winning the game in the end, and they both gladly clapped for Mikey and Leo’s team when Leo got the final question of the game right. “I was guessing on that one,” he admitted, “But still, I’m awesome!”

Donnie and Raph rolled their eyes, though with such a close game with was hard to really be mad. Besides, all four of them were too tired for a rematch, and their father and his date could clearly see that. Lou picked up Mikey and let him rest his head on his shoulder while he took Raph’s hand, and Draxum did the same with the twins. Without much resistance - and thankfully, without any tripping either - the boys were all led back down to the parking lot and to Lou’s car.

“Thanks for a fun time,” Lou said after he buckled in his sleepy sons, his voice quiet but just as sincere as ever, “I mean, I always have a fun time with you, but… I really do appreciate the things you do for my boys, Ben. Making onigiri and playing games, helping when they were sick and playing in the yard…”

Draxum hummed, thinking back on those moments - moments that, before meeting Lou and his family, he probably would’ve refused otherwise out of awkwardness or not wanting to deal with what seemed like such a hassle. It was still hard to believe how quickly he had gotten attached to the boys, how quickly their childish antics and youthful excitement and unwavering admiration towards him made Draxum want to make them smile too. “I do those things because I want to,” he told him firmly, not wanting his boyfriend to think that he was only doing it out of any sort of obligation or simply because he knew being nice to boys would please Lou. No, his actions were just as genuine as his affection, Draxum made sure of it.

“Heh, yeah, I know… Still, I know it means a lot to them, just as much as it means a lot to me.” With a small smile, he leaned forward and met Draxum’s lips once more.

Again, Draxum returned the gesture, holding Lou close. The wind was picking up, the autumn season slowly but surely becoming winter, but Draxum could hardly even feel it.

“You’re a really sweet guy,” Lou told him once their kiss broke.

“Even if I beat you in trivia?” Draxum asked.

Lou hmph’d before smirking back at him. “Fine, fine, yes. Even then.”

“Heh, good to know.” They shared another kiss, holding each other for just a bit longer before finally parting for the night. Draxum watched until the headlights of the gold colored car were lost in the sea of Manhattan traffic, and then went back upstairs. As Lou had promised, there weren’t any leftovers, and Draxum lazily decided that washing dishes and putting away the game could wait until morning.

But, as he moved to close the curtains, he hesitated. “...It is a pretty nice view,” he mumbled to himself, his hand letting go of the drawstring.

He was still a man of privacy, no doubt about that. But even so, perhaps a bit of extra light in his life couldn’t hurt...

[fletchlingfletcher]

Music

“So… how do we start? You aren’t going to make me do something foolish are you?” For a moment he gave her a severe look before the expression faltered and died. He couldn’t seem to bring himself to be suspicious.

                                              Press -----> HERE for some accompanying music

Corinne took a long, slow, deep breath. 

"I..do have a plan. Surprising, again, I know.." Her smile seemed to soften again, more natural and much less forced than before, particularly when he moved closer. She even found herself leaning over slightly. "And..that depends on your definition of foolish and who exactly you expect to consider that." As if realizing she'd been leaning, Corinne straightened up abruptly, actually hopping off the bed with an even more normal and relaxed smile and a hand extended out. 

"It'll be trial and error. Try a bunch of things and if none of those work, then try more. And you won't have to worry about looking 'foolish' because I intend to keep you to myself for all of this....I!! I mean..um..you know, it would...just be us so..nobody else would...you wouldn't have to..!!!! It'll be fine!! I know there's something we can find!!"

Miahtoux simply settled for looking at her with a very confused expression on his face. ‘Trial and error’ didn't really sound like a plan to him… sounded more like shots in the dark. But still… she seemed so… enthusiastic… so he sighed, and against his better judgement, gave her an encouraging (if small) smile. “Alright, alright.” He disappeared into the bathroom before returning with a jacket which he pulled on haphazardly. Trying his best not to wave his arms around too much.

“I guess… really this time… lead on?”

"You're..suuuuure you can't think of anything that you would..even..REMOTELY consider fun? That isn't work of any sort??"

“You mean besides reading and magic? Well… some of the time anyway… no, not really. I… I guess I’ve been too long… being……… restricted… in my activities… to really know or remember.” 

Restricted. Yeah that was the word he was going for. Why was he trying so hard? She knew what had happened to him. But… well… talking about it was a bad idea most of the time. He scrunched up his nose slightly trying to think back to when he was a child but… no… even then it had just been reading… there was singing of course… but he’d given that up a long time ago as well… 

“I… I really can’t think of anything……… this… isn’t helping is it?”

Corinne shook her head at him. No, it wasn't particularly helpful. It didn't give her much to go off of and left more than just a lot of possibilities, but she hadn't expected much else anyway, all things considered. She probably wouldn't have been trying to do this otherwise. Honestly, she couldn't help but to laugh a bit, which seemed mean as soon as it came out. 

"Sorry," she apologized, covering her mouth to hide her remaining grin. "It's..not really helpful, no, but it's alright! Let's seeeeee thouuuughh..." 

Corinne lifted her hand, tapping her chin as she paced in a small circle. "We could start with..games..? Cards? Dice? Or..art? Not much of a painter myself, but I can appreciate it! Don't uh..don't have paints though, so maybe just sketches? Probably want to avoid anything too physical, so I guess I can't ask if you'd like to climb a mountain. What about crafting? Woodworking can be calming and..interesting. There's always music too! Though I couldn't bring much but my lute with me...and the orchestrion. Can you play? Orrrr dance? Eh..that's a bit physical and I said we could avoid that.." Her rambling turned into mumbling eventually until she was just walking in circle chewing on the tip of her thumb.

Miahtoux grimaced at the idea of crafting. “I am very bad with tools… plus I just imagine my brother looking angry whenever I try things like that…” 

He perked up slightly at the mention of music before his face fell again. Remembering. 

“I don’t dance no… never could quite get the hang of it…” He tapped his foot a few times. Should he actually tell her that? It seemed daft considering all he had already told her but still… he sighed. “I… used to sing… quite a lot… seemed to be okay at it… not really at playing instruments though…” he shuffled awkwardly. Why was singing where he drew the line? Eventually he just sighed again, planting his chin firmly on his hand with a defeated expression.

Her attention was drawn to the fact that music seemed to catch his. She could definitely work with that! Even if it seemed..touchy at the moment. 

"You don't sing anymore then? That's alright, still plenty more to do with music!" Her smile was bright, hands swinging back to her sides, as she turned to retrieve an instrument from a drawer, unwrapping it from the clothes she'd apparently been using to cushion it. "Have you ever..tried to play? I could show you that!! Consider it a fair exchange- magic for music!!" 

There was soft laughter when Corinne returned, settling onto the sofa and strumming a chord. "I could teach you to dance too but I'm not sure if you'd like your toes stepped on. I'm not the best, just alright. And..dancing is better with a partner, so..not necessarily something you could...enjoy on your own!" Her fingers plucked a few more strings, no exact rhythm or melody to it, just notes.

“Oh, I tried to learn to play. Could never hold a song long enough on an instrument… always found it hard to… well… to get away from the rhythm I hear elsewhere…” He tapped his head but shrugged quickly. “Maybe I simply was never meant to play…” He slouched slightly, looking at the instrument in her hands. 

“I… I never intended to stop singing… but when everything started happening I just… stopped… it no longer seemed appropriate… given the circumstances everything else took precedent…” He sighed again. “Mo- … Ms Jhentu never used to play when she sung anyway… she would just… hold a tune all by herself… she had a calming voice too…” It was almost as if he was completely unaware his normal speaking voice had a kind of melody to it. Perhaps he simply didn’t notice it.

Corinne let her hand rest atop the instrument. "Maybe you tried the wrong instruments. Though..unfortunately this is all that I have that I could offer you. There's a really..really nice piano in my parents' home. I'm sure I'm out of practice with that though." She shrugged. "Or maybe you're really not meant to play." There was a twitch of her lips, a smile she was trying to hide as she looked down to her lap. "Just have someone play for you or with you. But...I won't beg you to sing. Though maybe someday I'll ask if it ever seems..more appropriate." Not paying attention, her fingers brushed the strings one more time as she shifted the lute in her lap, offering it over. 

"Doooo you..wanna try..again? We could start small, short, simple!"

He looked sullen, evidently thinking deeply about something. Eventually he shook himself out of his reverie. “Maybe one day when the time is right. But I doubt that day is today…” He sighed again, more deeply that ever before. 

“Who knows though. I may get enjoyment out of you playing…I mean… if you want to… I… I’m the last person who would force anything… I hope…”

"Someday..one day...I can work with that. Whenever you'd like to, whenever you can." She plucked a single string, the note high but soft, then shook her head again, the quietest laugh coming from her. 

"If you want me to play...tell me to play." Her gaze finally shifted back up, any sign of that smile gone now. "It's not force to say what you want. So...if YOU want...say it!"

Miahtoux gave her the barest hint of a smile. “Play then. I want to hear you play.” 

It shouldn’t have been a difficult request. But it seemed like saying if he wanted anything was always, for some reason or other, difficult for Miah. Still, he sat back on the Sofa, eyes closed so he could listen properly to what she was going to play. Maybe that way he could get lost in it to? Maybe find the desire he had so long ago to actually sing himself?

Her fingers on the neck adjusted a few times, her nose wrinkling in thought while trying to decide what to do and what to play. When she finally settled, her fingers brushed along the strings in one soft chord, then plucked at individual strings. It was a soft sound- light, airy, maybe a little quiet- something more soothing and slow rather than loud and exciting as Corinne herself was wont to be. Her fingers moved with practiced ease, to the point that she closed her own eyes at one point to just..play, maybe hum a little bit, just barely.

He nodded slightly when she started playing, each nod of his head following the rhythm perfectly. It seems he really had enjoyed music at one point, for he didn’t interrupt her. He just sat and listened, obviously appreciating the unhurried and calming melody. 

As the melody started to repeat itself, something changed in the room, almost like everything was stilling around them, aether pulling in and started to move in rhythm with her strumming. Whether it was her or him wasn’t quite apparent. But one thing was apparent. When Miah actually opened his mouth and started singing… he hadn’t been lying about being able to sing. What followed where note perfectly in pitch and tune with her strumming. The aether swaying with each one, so much so that the soothing melody could be felt down to one’s core. He still had his eyes closed though, listening to her for the cues. Although truth be told… looking at his face… it half seemed like he wasn’t even aware he was singing. Where he got the lyrics from were anyone’s guess.

Corinne struck a note just barely off intended, not for a lack of skill or just making a mistake, but in a bit of surprise. She'd only been humming thus far, no words, nothing to distract from the request to play. But music aside from her playing had begun to complement the melody. It took her a brief second of opening her eyes and glancing over to realize it wasn't just her imagination filling in lyrics and song, but what she discovered curled her lips into an ecstatic grin. There was a temptation to stop right then and there, pay compliments and release her excitement. But that...that didn't feel right. 

So for once Corinne stifled her outburst, returning her focus to her hands and the strings beneath them. It was pleasant, calming, more than just her instrumental playing but the singing along with it, having someone sing along with it! 

There wasn't a question of where the words came from, what had encouraged them or the fact alone that he was singing. There was just...music. For a while anyway, until the last of the notes was left to echo in a quiet room.

[amaryllisblackthorn]

to make up for the looong time its been taking me to get done with my curse au fic i’m uploading snippets  of an unfinished abandoned fic in the same verse. it’s not canon, so i guess its like an au of an au heh. it’s the same universe as the body remembers what the memory forgot, but like i said, it’s not canon so the second installment will completely disregard these parts.

Moonlight shone dimly through veils of dust that covered the faces of virgin windows. The once paragonal coat of youth chipped away from the abrasive wear of time. The emptiness was suffocating if one did not tread carefully, and the silence would have been deafening if not for the rhythm of footsteps accompanying a duo. 

“Christ -- Georgie!” Duncan said as soon as he realized the identity of one of the girl’s facing him. He darted from his place on the stairs leaving the woman, Jolie, where she stood unmoving.

           “Yes, it’s nice to see you too, Duncan,” Sara said, using sarcasm to aid in her recovery of the alarming incident. Her hand was holding Georgie’s, but whether it was for her comfort or her own was hard to tell. Maybe it was both. “Your concern is touching.”

           In the midst of his anger and worry, the boy found the time to flash her a grin. “Always a pleasure, Sara.” His appearance quickly turned serious again as he looked to Georgie and then turned to face Jolie, his brows furrowing. “Can you explain exactly what you were doing here?”

           His voice had a terribly controlled sound to it, a dangerous calm. It was the kind of tone that brought kings to their knees and made the bones in Georgie’s body shake. Somehow, however, it didn’t seem to have much of an effect on Jolie. She stood, stoic. “They’re intruders.”

           “Well, this was fun,” Georgie started to say, already taking some steps back. Her hands opened and unopened several times. Everything seemed so fake for some reason, so unreal. “But I think I’m going to go.”

           “No -- wait!” Duncan said, extending his hand as though to stop her. He had moved slightly closer to her in an attempt to gain her attention. His green eyes implored with hers, looked at her with a sense of understanding and empathy. It was to ensure the advantage that he remained eye level with her, saying, “Stay. Just for a bit -- if you’re still uncomfortable then you can go. Just -- don’t go. Not yet.”

           There was still nothing in Georgie that wanted her to stay. Warnings of go, go! still beat in her heart, her thumb rubbing the hem of her skirt again and again. Even though the danger had passed, her body didn’t seem to be aware. It was a sensation that was too familiar, and she didn’t like it. “I -- I don’t know, Duncan. I don’t really like to keep company with people who try to kill me.”

The hesitance did not completely depart from Georgie, but his words did have an effect on her. It calmed the rattling of her bones, even if just a little bit. He was also so insistent, wanting terribly for her to stay. She decided she could give him a few minutes of her time without it hurting anyone. “Okay,” she breathed, and then, a bit clearer, “Okay, fine. I’ll stay for a bit. As long as there are no more attempts on my life.”

           A smile appeared on the boy’s face, breaking through his attempt to suppress it. “There won’t be. I promise.”

Jolie had a scowl ingrained on her face, and although it may have always been at that intensity, Georgie couldn’t help but feel it was directed at them (her specifically). The again, maybe Georgie was just worrying too much, thinking too much of herself. Nevertheless, it was a less than welcoming expression, and it made the hairs on Georgie’s skin stand up just a little. It’s not that Georgie genuinely believed that the older woman would actually hurt her, but she had a suspicion that’s exactly what she wanted to do.

           “Hey,” a voice said, breaking through her thoughts. Duncan had approached her, having left Jolie’s side. His lips formed a half smile, and she had to admit he looked kind of cute when his smile wasn’t a smirk. Objectively speaking. “Everything okay? You look kind of disquieted.”

           Her lips tightened as she gave him a close smile. “No, yeah, I’m fine,” Georgie said, putting a loose strand of hair behind her ear. For someone who regularly wore ponytails, she would have thought she’d be able to do them better. In fact, she wasn’t even sure if she really liked ponytail. They made her feel kind of … mature? Not that that was a problem, exactly, but when was the last time she wore her hair down, besides from sleeping and showering? Strange were the things she’d been beginning to notice after years of them never crossing her mind. That was life, she guessed.

           “See -- there!” Duncan said, once again interrupting her musings. There was something almost playful about his features as he gained her attention again. “You did it again. You sure everything’s okay?”

           “Positive,” Georgie assured him, then added, “but, I mean, I guess this just isn’t my cup of tea? It’s nothing personal, it’s just I was kind of expecting to, you know, explore an abandoned building or something. I didn’t expect like a haunted house kind of a deal or like Paris catacombs under the building or anything, but I guess I was looking forward to the thrill of walking through an isolated building? It’s silly, I know. It’s just that this is kind of … boring.”

           She didn’t want to be too blunt and end up offending him, but he seemed to take it very well. His lips spread wider, and he seemed somewhat amused. “You haven’t even been here for ten minutes,” Duncan said (he wasn’t exactly sure of how much time had actually passed but it certainly seemed like not much), “and you’ve already decided that you know everything there is to know about this building! I’ll let you know, bird, there’s a lot to still explore in this old building.”

           Georgie scrunched her nose and exaggerated an angry pout at the use of that nickname. It was a stupid one (unlike Georgie which was a pleasant sounding derivative of Georgia, her name), but she didn’t really have that much of an objection to it. It was just really fun when she pretended that she did. In fact, she kind of liked that he did it, because in an odd way it made her feel better about that whole kidnapped-by-a-sicko incident. Like it had less power over her because they were able to refer to it without avoidance or caution. She didn’t know how to explain it, but it was kind of nice.

          The eyes of the boy in front of her were no longer on her but gazed somewhere past her. “I don’t know, she seems to be all right,” he said, casually.

          Georgie spun her head around to see what he was talking about. Sara was talking to three boys who had names that evaded Georgie but whom seemed to be engaged in the conversation. Her friend’s hands moved animatedly as she spoke, her eyes housing a spark as she did so.

          “After a lot of trial and error, experience, and extensive research,” she was saying, “I’ve found out that the best materials are balsa wood, thick clear pine, steel wool, unbleached muslin, dowels, carpet thread, and sheet brass. I’ve heard some things about trunk fiber, and honestly I’m dying to use it.”

          “What is she talking about?” Georgie said half-absently to herself, staring at Sara in bewilderment. Man, did her friend have some peculiar hobbies.

            “So?” Duncan asked, his voice full of anticipation. He tried to suppress it, but it was there. In an odd way, he resembled a puppy, with a tilted head and wide expecting eyes. She wouldn’t be surprised if his ears had perked up. It was actually a pretty amusing imagery.

           “I -- I don’t know, Duncan,” Georgie told him, putting her hands together, restless. “I just don’t … feel comfortable, you know? I should probably just -- ”

           “ -- go home?” Duncan finished for her, his eyebrow raised. His features had become harsher, judgmental even. Maybe even hurt.

           “Duncan -- ”

           “And what waits for you there, Georgie, hm? A practical life of routine and predictability, where you grow up silently without any protest? You would rather go back fading into the abyss? You would rather stay where you know is safe and protected, not just from dangers and threats but from living and excitement? Are you really that afraid of the dark that you would rather keep your window shut than go out and venture through and discover what lies there? So afraid that you’d rather close your eyes and miss all of the marvels and wonders that pass you by, that you’d see if you only looked? Is that really what you want to go back to, Georgie? Is it?”

           “How dare you,” said Georgie, clenching her fists. Her brow was furrowed as her cheeks raised. She tried to keep her voice from raising while still expressing all of the fury that she felt. “How dare you. How dare you criticize me for wanting safety -- after everything that I’ve been through? Where do you get off judging me for being afraid after I’ve been abducted by some murderous psycho who had a room covered in the blood of his victims? I’ve earned the right to be afraid, and you can go screw yourself for saying otherwise.”

           “Why can’t you just believe that I won’t let anyone hurt you?” he asked furiously, as though he was the one being wronged.

           “Because I can’t trust you not to do it yourself!” she retorted right back, refusing to shrink down. “I can’t trust you, not when you may have burned down a house and killed someone! I thought I could have ignored it, I thought that I could be okay with it, but I realize now that I’m not. I’m not, because if you could have done that, then who knows what else you could be capable of? I can’t trust you to be able to control yourself, and that’s terrifying. The boys never do anything to upset you, but is that out of loyalty or fear? At the end of the day, Duncan Faber, I still don’t know you. I can say what instruments you play and what language you take, but I can’t say that I trust you, because I can’t. Not really.”

           His glare was thrown like daggers, but Georgie stood unfazed, her nerves impenetrable armor. Heat seemed to be seething from him, his breaths rough and ragged. Oh, if looks could kill. Well, he wasn’t the only one who knew how to throw daggers. She had an advantage over him, too; he constantly overestimated himself and underestimated others. Georgia McCarthy was not one to be underestimated lightly.

           Before he was able to find his voice, to form words out of his turbulent emotion, Georgie spun around and started to make her way across the corridor. “Don’t follow me,” she warned, not even looking back. She wasn’t going to stay in the company of someone who didn’t respect her, who invalidated how she felt. No, Georgie held too much self-respect for herself, too much dignity. There was no way she was going to let a smug pompous jerk spit all over here as she just took it. No, sir. Not Georgie.

There was something nagging in the back of her mind — like, Yeah, good luck with this one. Did you honestly think you would be able to find something like this? How much longer are you going to keep romanticizing things that aren’t meant to be romanticized?  Don’t you remember how things worked out last time?

(For a moment, a quick fleeting moment, she scratched sentience and was so very close to the cracks of remembrance.)

The tracks guiding the train of thought disassembled as quickly as they were put down, and Georgie occupied herself with this latest development. She honestly didn’t expect for it to work, especially not this soon. One of the negatives of making it up as she went was not knowing what to do next; how was she supposed to enter?

A once passive nature had transformed into a creation much different, much more comfortable. Stubbornness was an old jacket she found without trying that had been custom made for her. It suited her perfectly, and she accepted it so intrinsically that it was hard to remember that she hadn’t always worn it. The knitted brow, the intense frown, the stonewall resolve — they all appeared bringing with them a sense of reversion.

[prettylittlepawn]

Diary Ent̵͉̂r̵̯͛ȳ̶̬ ❀ ̵̨̛͉̲̲̝̱̜̹́̃̋̔̚͜3̸͉̿

((OOC: This diary entry will act as a recap for everything until now. There are things that Chiyo wouldn’t know about, but needed to be clarified, so please overlook these inconsistencies.))

Diary,

I have long forgotten how many days have passed, but that worry pales in comparison to the horrors all of us have experienced here.

There is so much to recount since my last entry. Such horrific events that I can only wish to forget one day. Diary, to an extent I feel as if I should apologize to you for not keeping you up to date. However, at the same time I wonder why I feel compelled to do so while you are simply a journal for my eyes and no one else’s. Still, I shall recount everything as I remember.. starting from the beginning, and continuing through what I’ve already recounted before.

It all started when nineteen of us awoke in a strange room. 

Each of us was more confused than the last and none of us knew a shred of information. There had been a puzzle in the room, solved only after a series of trial and error... our prize was an electric pad, displaying an incomplete map, labeling that room as the “anteroom.”

Soon enough we were introduced to the “Captains” of this luxury cruise ship which we happened to be on. But.. when I say captains.. they weren’t exactly what one might have in mind. Neither of them are human, both of them are plush robotic animals. One, Torimi, is an owl. She is half pink with white polkadots and half dark purple. She adorns a yellow bow and a cheerful attitude, saying “ohohoho” quite often. The other, Akomi, is an axolotl. He is half white and half orange, with floral decoration. He adorns a dark purple bow tie and a rude attitude. Both of these captains feature a red jagged glass eye on their darker half accompanied by a wicked smile. They both also appear to have white bellies with bellybuttons- despite their animal design. I only describe them so deeply because.. their image haunts me dearly...

They told us that we are trapped here, and to escape we must.. kill another.. and get away with murder. They called this a “Killing Game.”

Since my last entry, our only casualty had been Etheldred, the poor soul who had died cruelly at the hands of that.. that axolotl creature. I barely remember why that had happened, I can recall the image of her body bloodied and limp against the wall. She had defied those two robotic monsters after they cruelly killed an old woman. The old woman was Etheldred’s grandmother, and those two self proclaimed “Captains” of this ship simply killed the old woman as an example. Etheldred immediately darted to stop, or even get revenge from those two animals, only to be suddenly stabbed at the neck with a decorative fish. There... was so much blood. I could gag at the memory...

My god, I can’t handle continuing with this. It just.. too cruel.

After that, I had run away in a blind panic. Takuma, the blue haired guitarist, he comforted me. Little did I know, this wouldn’t be the only time he would do so, not by a long shot.

We were given time to explore the ship afterwards. The animals seemed to have planted puzzles to tease us with. Questions that lead to more questions... I feel as if we are all simply being toyed with.

While searching for a puzzle myself, I accidentally and foolishly cut myself in the armory and was rushed to the infirmary thanks to Dmitri. After arriving, Leon looked after me... and.. I was suddenly compelled to tell him my secret.

After a time they gave us what they called “a motive.” Each of us seemed to get a video of our loved ones being tortured and threatened with death unless we start killing each other. I was trembling, staring at the screen of my parents. However, it seemed like others had even more urgent worries.

Takuma had bolted out of the room, similarly to how I did so long ago. And that was the first time I had comforted him.

Suddenly, Ethan Townsworth, the dark looking criminal psychologist, was found stabbed and in comatose, resting in the infirmary. It was so immediate and quick, no one knew what happened! I can only be thankful that we had our Ultimate Surgeon Elizabeth Voz to aid him. At the sight of the blood I.. I think I hid into my room. I’m... so thankful for all my shipmates for cleaning up the scene. I.. I don’t think I could handle it.

Soon afterwards there seemed to be a strange argument between the two plush robots, Akomi and Torimi. The next day, Akomi was found on the kitchen floor with stuffing all around and a knife in his back. It was shocking! I didn’t know what to think.. I spent some time investigating with Takuma, finding incriminating evidence against him... It definitely made me feel anxious.

We held a sort of informal class trial for Akomi. Although, at the time, none of us knew what a formal class trial would be like. The trial was hectic nonetheless, accusations and evidence was thrown all about. Even I was accused by Minori Saeki, the volatile accessory maker! My head was spinning.. despite all my logic and knowledge, I feel like I’m just a deadweight in such tense settings like this.

The informal trial had so many heart pounding turns- but the most thrilling part was when Petra Sakai, the red haired jazz singer, revealed that Dmitri Cierzon had been the one to stab Ethan! Not only that, but it was also revealed that Ethan is also a well known serial killer known as The Butcher. It stunned the entire conversation, I simply remember that my mouth was agape. It turns out that Petra had been extremely fixated on Dmitri after learning his action against Ethan. I.. could only blindly guess as to why.

The trial eventually came to a close, with Torimi foolishly revealing herself as the killer and Akomi revealing himself as never having been truly hurt in the first place.

I’m not sure how much longer after that occurred, but Takeshi, a muscly video editor, had been able to hack into the Mimi pad that each of us had been given and found a peculiar video. I’m still unsure about the significance of it.. it’s mysterious for sure, but none of us seemed to be able to decipher a meaning. Additionally, Manobu, a white haired and confidence architect, found a small compartment that revealed the two plush animals, but truly plush this time- no robots inside. They had messages attached to them: “Hers, one to save the world.” “His, one to win the game.” What do they mean?

Strangely, the Torimi animal commanded us play a social game. “King’s Game” is what it was called. Although I had never played, it was terribly fun. Despite.. our losses and worries, we were having fun. The most notable things about this game is that Runa Knightly, a wonderfully nice writer, confessed her feelings for Seojun Tsoi, a professionally titled internet troll... My heart swelled. Another notable event was the growing relationship of Kai Schmutz, a young small and eery gravedigger and Cici, a dressage and self proclaimed protector of justice. They were... quite cute together.

Honestly, thinking about the mysteries and relationships that come from the time spent here on this ship is much more pleasant than thinking about the events that followed.

Soon after the King’s Game, I discovered Takeshi’s body limp and lifeless on the gym floor. Although the scene itself wasn’t difficult to see in of itself, it was the fact of implications. Takeshi had been murdered, which meant that we were living amongst a murderer. I had fainted soon after screeching at the sight of him. It’s.. embarrassing to an extent, but what kind of reaction am I expected to make?

I was comforted by my peers, Runa Knightly and Leonhard, a stylish dollmaker and confectionist. I am... happy to make connections like this, despite... everything.

There was a period of investigation, shipmates poking and prodding everything everywhere for evidence. And soon the investigation period was over, and we were going to have our first formal trial.

Entering the trial grounds, it was nothing like any of us could have expected. When the two “Captains” Torimi and Akomi had told us that we were on a ship, none of use had any inkling of an idea that we were on an airship. The trial grounds had glass walls and floors, making it more than clear that this is indeed the truth of our situation. Clouds glided beneath our feet and there was no denying it.

Ethan Townsworth was still incapacitated, and yet there was only just enough podiums for all of us on the trial grounds, save for two podiums, with a memorial stand for Etheldred and another for Takeshi. Looking at those images.. the bloody red marked X over their profiles. I got chills.

Unsurprisingly, I was not useful during the trial. Conversations and arguments dragged on for hours, it was almost difficult to follow. Eventually it lead to a proper suspect, Cici. None of us could believe it at first, but it became undeniable as she slipped up about having knowledge of a “Perfect Poison” that Dmitri supposedly had in his possession. It was jarring. Cici.. she had sworn to be our protector and a princess. Although I didn’t have a close connection with her, I could only imagine how the others had felt.. Kai...

The two captains announced a “punishment,” an execution...

I can’t think about it.. It.. it hurts too much...

We somehow learned that Cici had a twin sibling that they would die for. Her sibling was disowned by her money-minded parents and fought against them, fighting against animal cruelty. That was something Cici desperately wanted to do herself, but only her sibling had the strength to. After seeing her precious twin being tortured and held hostage as we all did, she grew a resolve to escape and save her... although, that wasn’t what pushed her to do what she did.

It turns out that Takeshi had a similar resolve, wishing to escape and rescue his long love and video partner. Takeshi took it upon himself to plan out a murder, but foolishly left the plans written on that cursed planning table in the armory. Cici had seen Takeshi’s plans to murder someone, and decided to protect everyone by taking him out herself.

She had stolen a “Perfect Poison” from Dmitri that was the prize for properly solving a puzzle in the infirmary. It was during the confusion of Ethan’s injury, I think.

Cici gave Takeshi the poison in the kitchen, deceiving him, claiming to be giving an energy drink. Takeshi has collapsed almost immediately, and Cici transported his body to the gym using one of the low rise carts from the gym’s closer. She continued to tamper with the scene, pouring water on the floor and laying weights upon him, trying to make it seem like he had tripped and hurt himself that way.

As horrible as this all was.. things would only get worse.

Writing all this is.. almost too trying, my heart can’t take it.. tears are brimming as i write but.. I- I can’t help but feel obligated. What if I become the next victim? I simply must continue, I don’t want to be forgotten..

The time mourning our losses was short lived. Or perhaps it only felt that way.. as time felt almost malleable, the only thing I knew and still now is that we need more time to mourn. The day after, new rooms were revealed to us, and they expected us to explore and discover puzzles. Or at least that’s what I assumed of them. Including the rooms revealed since the beginning, these were all the rooms available to us at the time: armory, laundry room, anteroom, infirmary, gift shop, gym, gym closet, kitchen, dining room, bunkers, library, theater, backstage, and control booth.

I.. happened upon something troubling in the control booth, and decided to hide and keep it to myself. Although, I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone had seen me.

I happened upon Leon, and, hoping to.. feel safer, I requested him to be my knight. He seemed happy to take the offer, “protecting his queen.” Ahaha, I was so honored, I blushed. Although, I am no queen, not yet at least.

Eventually, our two sadistic captains called us together for another social event, but this one is much less enjoyable than the last. This game is titled “Secrets and Sins,” and it consisted of nothing but revealing undesirable secrets, drawn from a hat of all of our secrets. At this point, Ethan Townsworth had awoken and participated in this game as well.

These secrets.. they’re so troubling.. and having my own secret revealed had thrown me into hysteria. I’m unsure if I should recount these secrets since.. well.. they’re a little bit more than simply private. Although.. at the same time, this will be private as well, right. Whispering secrets to myself shouldn’t do any harm.

Here are a few of the secrets revealed: my own, in which my blood can be found on the black market; revelation that Dmitri’s true talent is not a pastry chef but actually a spy; Izaya had attempted suicide five times; Seojun has self harm scars; Takuma is a survivor of a car crash, and while one of his parents has passed the other is comatose.

Takuma he... never fails to comfort me when I need it. And.. his embrace is so comforting.. Despite everything my parents had warned me about, I want nothing more than to trust him with my life. I only hope I don’t regret these feelings.

The game ended, as all games do, and suddenly it seemed as if all of us had a closer understanding of each other. With secrets revealed, it seemed like we had actually grown closer, having little left to hide. Izaya and Raiden, a respectable Sumo wrestler seemed to have even become a couple. Although the game was horrible, I wonder if this was the captains’ goal. Or perhaps they had messed up..

Not long afterwards the axolotl and owl had gathered us together again. At first it seemed like a simple feast. They prepared the dinning room fantastically with a spread of every food imaginable. It was soon revealed to just be a lure for a new motive: another video of our loved ones.

This video consisted of our loved ones congratulating us on our graduation of Hope’s Peak. This stunned us, realizing that we had genuinely lost years of our memories and experiences. But that wasn’t all, the plush animals told us that we could recover our memories if we killed, and if we don’t, then the memories our loved ones have of us will be wiped just like ours had been.

I can barely remember anything from then anymore. After the feast had gone away, I ate something strange, and my thoughts became hazy and erratic. I was.. rude to Runa, and talked back to Petra. I.. I can’t even imagine myself doing anything like that.

I awoke the next day to Takuma informing me that two more bodies have been discovered: Ethan and Minori’s. I couldn’t believe that their lives had ended so quickly. Then he informed me that it was done with an explosion. I... panicked.

The something I had “happened upon” in the control booth had been a bomb and a trigger, a prize for solving a puzzle. The bomb was missing and the trigger was in my pocket. With Takuma there to see men in my panic, I begged him not to tell. He heartedly agreed, and I felt overwhelmingly relieved... and guilty. My logic and reasoning had told me that I was the killer, must have had done something horrible in my delusion after eating something strange.

I had to be the killer, that’s what my logic was telling me. Or, at least that’s what I thought.

Takuma tried to lead me outside of my room, hoping to allow me a chance to investigate before the trial. But...

I couldn’t shake that feeling.

The feeling that I was the killer and that I was going to die.

I held onto his hand and pulled him towards me.

As far as reasoning goes, I no longer understand my mind and heart and my actions.

I kissed him.

Lightly and desperately I gave him my fist and possibly last kiss as tears streamed down my eyes.

I pulled back after a moment and he.. he continued to pull me to investigate. I was almost heartbroken.. I was so unsure of everything but all I wanted was to do it again.

Ethan and Minori’s bodies were almost completely mangled. The blood and stench of burnt flesh seeped into the walls and stained my memories. I.. cowardly stayed as far away from the scene as i could. The investigation period ended too soon, and the trial had arrived before we knew it.

That time, entering the trial grounds was akin to entering our own collective horror story. It was storming beyond the glass walls and floors. Cracking and booming thunder accompanied flashing lightning. I’m not sure if anyone noticed me jump every time they startled me. Dark clouds only gave slight premonition to our bleak future.

As the trial continued, it seemed clear to me that I had to confess. They were going no where, bringing up disconnected points of evidence and recycling known information. It turns out that Takuma was unable to keep his promise and had brought suspicion onto me. I confessed immediately, grossly sobbing and apologizing, begging everyone to vote for me and survive another day.

But my reasoning was wrong. I couldn’t believe it, the logic that I had cultivated as a chess player was completely wrong, as they pointed out inconsistencies and evidence against my confession. As relieved as I was to be proven wrong, I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe.. that my logic was wrong.

The trial continued, and another slip from our killer revealed a new undeniable suspect. Petra Sakai, our hot blooded jazz singer slipped up. It was an unsuspected turn, especially as it seemed like no evidence pointed to her save for her own oral mistake.

She continued to fight, blaming myself as the killer, but with reasoning of everyone together against it seemed more than clear that it couldn’t have been me, and it had to be her.

This time, all of us unapologetically voted for her. And we were right.

Petra had indeed seen me escaping with the bomb that day. She left some food for me to naively eat, but I was drugged, leaving me feeling agitated and sedated. I fell into a deep sleep.

From there, Petra stole the bomb and trigger, and then she left a note for Ethan, luring him into the library. However, at the same time Minori had plotted to kill him as well, following and sneaking into the library from the control booth, locking the door behind them.

Ethan approached the bomb that Petra planted out of sight, and he died upon impact. Minori had entered the room, and the shrapnel and explosion of the bomb only grazed them. Seeing Minori at the scene, Petra had to get rid of them, and struggled against them, using Minori’s own knife against them.

Petra then continued with the murder, leaving a calling card of another killer and tampering with the evidence. In the end, she planted the trigger back in my pocket during my delirious slumber.

It turns out that Petra was not only the Ultimate Jazz Singer, but also the Ultimate Copycat Murderer. I... I had no idea that Hope’s Peak had accepted such people...

Petra had grown up with parents who were also serial killers, and I suppose that she simply followed in their footsteps. Her parents had embedded in her the idea that she must find her true love, and she will know that they are her true love because they will happily kill along side her.

Perhaps this is why she so closely latched onto Dmitri after learning he was the one who stabbed Ethan.

When Akomi and Torimi gave everyone the motive videos, Petra wondered who a particular person was. While the others she recognized, there was a face congratulating her that she had never seen before.

The two captains informed her that that person was her true soulmate, and they had met and fell in love during her lost memories at Hope’s Peak Academy. This is what drove her to take the lives of our classmates- to reunite with her soulmate. “This was all for love!” She screamed.

That scream still echoed in all of our minds as we watched her “punishment”... her execution.

I wanted to hurl. Even she didn’t deserve such a cruel fate.

At the end of the trial, I couldn’t help but feel betrayed by all of those I felt close to. Takuma was unable to keep his word, and Leon had brought it out of him, effectively putting me in the spotlight for mains suspect. I felt guilty for my rudeness towards Runa- and a gross pang of jealousy with her and Seojun’s growing relationship.

Once again, new rooms opened up for us to explore. It seemed almost as if this were nothing more than a process at that point. We now had a lounge, a fortune teller’s room, a ballroom, and a chapel along with everything else.

I eventually caved into my feelings, realizing my immaturity and apologized to everyone I felt the need to. I am young, and my logic is flawed, so I should trust in my peers to help us find the truth. That was the resolve I came to. I confronted Leon, apologized for my actions of hiding evidence, and reinstated him as my loyal knight. I apologized to Runa as well, although I.. didn’t bring up my feelings about her and Seojun... And- I apologized to Takuma.

We happened to come across each other in the lounge, and I had originally wanted to immaturely remain stubborn. Ah, I- It’s difficult to think about, simply because of how childish and embarrassing I acted.

I walked up to him and declared that I didn’t forgive him yet (while secretly I already did) and he immediately bombarded me with promises and make ups- and I turned away.

And only when I looked back did I realize that he... he...

..

Ah, I suppose it’s not my story to tell, but I.. grew a sort of resolve afterwards. We had ended up in his bunker and became much closer. I’m... so... embarrassingly fond of him... fond of his touch... his lips.. ah, simply the way he holds me makes em feel a sort of bliss I’ve never felt before... Takuma... This feeling is.. so true....

How do I describe the next few events? The bizarre actions of our “Captains” never fail to confuse me as every one of us woke up one day to find a wedding invitation at our bunker door. Although it didn’t say who the betrothed was, it claimed to be a wedding for Akomi and “his beloved,” and that proper formal clothing was prepared for us in our closets.

Arriving at the Chapel, it was clear that this was all the doing of our very own Ultimate Wedding Planner Josefina, as every corner of the already beautiful rococo decor has been bonafide with florals and wedding decorations. I was worried at first.. I didn’t see Takuma anywhere! And.. seeing Runa and Seojun appreciate each other’s dapper and stunning formal clothes.. well, I can’t say i wasn’t envious.

After everyone was settled, the organs started playing, and we waited for Akomi’s beloved to be revealed beyond the door. I was still upset at Takuma’s absence, but was immediately stunned by what happened next.

Takuma, adorned in a white dress, stood there... seemingly just as stunned as we were. How was I- how was any of us supposed to respond to this situation? Organ music still playing, Takuma quickly questioned and claimed to have been drugged asleep until right then at that moment. I barely recall, but I’m sure people were laughing at the time.

Takuma walked the aisle unglamorously and approached Akomi, quickly requesting a divorce before being wed. Interestingly- and much to my relief- Akomi agreed to the arraignment and the marriage was called off.

Akomi and Torimi quickly ushered all of us into the ballroom for some post-wedding/divorce ceremony. I’m still unsure of the processes of a traditional wedding or divorce, but we had a moment to dance and treat ourselves to a massive white cake.

And.. when I say massive that is no exaggeration.. the base of the cake seemed to be akin to the base of a grand piano, and the height nearly reached the ceiling, forcing me to wonder how they could have possibly brought it into the room. Still, I treated myself to a portion of it.. Leonhard had... treated himself to a little bit more than a portion.

During our time dancing, Runa and Seojun shared a flashy and scenic kiss. Ah.. even writing this now boils some sort of feeling inside of me. Turning away from the scene... I... asked Takuma to kiss me as well, and he complied.

After some time, the captains brought to us another social game. “The Newlywed Game,” it was called, and the questions varied greatly. Some questions related to our playing partner, some not, some even.. asked us personal questions... and even more.. ah, I’m not sure how to describe them clearly. I suppose.. an example is needed. One of the questions I recall was “What would you do if you were charged at with a knife?”

That event had finally ended after what seemed like too long. Leonhard had treated himself to too much cake and.. seemed a little more than ill. After we finished the game a number of people rushed him to the infirmary. We were left wondering why the two animals had put us through all that, but questions like that were only as pointless as everything else that’s happened to us.

A day passed, and it seemed like we found the answer- or at least the answer to why the wedding was held. Those of us who had eaten the cake were given some sort of antidote or immunity to some strange invisible gas the captains had released all over the ship. They caused hallucinations, paranoia, and it became clear that this was Akomi and Torimi’s new motive.

Some time passed, those of us who were affected and were a harm to ourselves were staying in the infirmary. And as soon as we thought they were safe enough to return to their bunkers for the night, another murder happened.

Manobu, the confident self-loving architect and Raiden, the overwhelmingly nice sumo wrestler. Th... their deaths.. they were nothing less of horrific. Entering the chapel after hearing the commotion, I saw Manobu’s body strung up by ropes on the podium, looking as if he were staring us down like some sort of deity. Raiden’s body.. was... gruesome, horrible to even lay eyes on. Izaya was there long before I even peeked into the ballroom. Cradling his head, Izaya was more than heartbroken, more than mourning. It’s.. it’s too cruel.. I feel as if I could.. tears almost overflowing myself as I write this. Raiden’s body was defiled with self harm markings, surrounded by a pool of blood and incriminating objects around him.

I hate this.. I.. I hate having to live this way.. to experience all this... The end of the investigation period couldn’t come soon enough.

Once again, I was helpless during the trial. But this time I’m unsure if it was because of the whirring and frightening field of green tornadoes beyond the glass or because of my own shortcomings.

It seemed almost as if we were never going to find the true killer, until Elizabeth slipped and revealed damning evidence against her. Elizabeth Vos.. our surgeon.. who.. who had sworn under a Hippocratic Oath to save lives.. was revealed to have plotted to kill all of us..

She failed to have any cake during the wedding reception, and was victim to the same hallucinations and hysteria as her patients. The biggest difference is that her hallucinations were of her murderous parents, telling her to escape and become a true surgeon or else her life had been for naught. It drove her mad. And this madness told her that she needed to kill everyone in order to escape- after all, if you kill everyone, there is no one to discover your fault.

Elizabeth confronted Manobu first, who was also under the hallucinations without that cake. She told him that there was someone plotting to kill him, and together they planned to investigate everyone at different times. She had Manobu write and deliver notes to everyone, to lure them out at different times, but only a few people had actually received the letters, being so late at night.

Before the next day, Elizabeth and Manobu met up again one last time, and she offered him tea with sedatives inside. It was then that Manobu realized he was being poisoned, and requested a final wish. He wanted to be discovered by everyone in the chapel, with his body looking down upon them. Strangely, Elizabeth complied. As she left to the armory to retrieve rope, Manobu used the last of his strength to take himself to the Chapel. Elizabeth eventually came, strapping him to his wishes, and performed a lethal injection to put him to rest.

Next, she happened to come across Raiden, and then did the same. Sedatives within a cup of tea, and then lethal injection. As soon as she did so however, Akomi and Torimi came in to remind her that killing more than two people at a time was against the rules, and she would be executed if she were to continue with her plan.

She resolved that she would have to cover up her tracks if she wanted to escape like her delusions wanted her to.

She first slit Raiden’s arms to make it seem as if it was a suicide. She went back to Manobu, and roughly strangled his neck with some spare rope, tearing his skin off of his neck. She left the rope and a knife from the kitchen at Raiden’s side, to frame him for Manobu’s death. She even went as far as to rub the rope against Raiden’s palms, tearing the skin there as well.

She scrambled to hide evidence, retrieving the unsent letters and planting them in Runa’s cloths in the laundry room. Ineffectively framing her for the murders.

How could all of this happen? My head is honestly still spinning. Elizabeth was a doctor, she cared for all of us. It’s all those two monster’s faults. Akomi and Torimi. Our captains. This is all because of that hallucinating gas.

It seemed like Elizabeth came to at the very end, begging and apologizing for her actions.

It’s... so hard to bare.

She was dragged off, as they all were, to another horrific execution. “Punishment..” This entire Killing Game is a punishment.

Many of us were devastated by this latest murder. To me.. it almost feels as if my heart has stopped beating. Surely it is, I’m still alive after all. But it doesn’t feel quite right. Fear flows through my every vein as I’m now completely alone in my bunker.

Of course, even now the horror doesn’t end.

New rooms were revealed to us, and none of us even seem to have the energy to be excited for it. There is now a power room, a lab, a storage room, and an observatory.

Just the other day, we were called together once again by the captains of the ship, dragging us to the observatory to reveal a new motive.

Each of us had been fashioned a sort of mechanical collar, and orally given a forbidden action. The forbidden actions are thusly: I cannot interact with a male until there is a murder. Takuma Mitsukuri must speak like Akomi until there is a murder. Izaya Fanróng cannot speak until there is a murder. Kai Schmutz must walk backwards everywhere until there is a murder. Saki Tazuka cannot touch water until there is a murder. Seojun Tsoi may not sleep until there is a murder. Josefina De Belasco must speak in rhyme until there is a murder. Runa Knightly cannot lie until there is a murder. This includes lies by omission as well as the refusal to answer a question. She must answer everything you are asked with complete honesty. Leonhard Vogel cannot leave F1 until there is a murder. Dmitri Cierzon cannot leave F2 until there is a murder.

These actions seem.. asinine, and unfair. Runa must simply not lie, while Saki, our excitable Sailor, cannot touch water? Even I seem to have been let off easy.

And it seems like these actions are complete unforgiving as...

Ah.. it’s.. so difficult... to recount.

Izaya, after simply reacting to pain, had been immediately punished for going against their forbidden action of not talking.

It seemed as if the collar had stabbed them from the inside, spewing blood so immediately and dramatically.

It was.. so sudden.. too sudden.. ah, my heart can’t take it....

I immediately locked myself into my bunker, and for once I’m thankful for my loneliness.

I have lots of time to myself. So.. I suppose that is why I decided to recount all of this.. or.. or at least one of the reasons.

I’m heartbroken, honestly. Without a murder, I cannot interact with my Knight nor my Love. Ah.. calling him my love is.. actually quite embarrassing, even on silent paper like this. Still, a part of me is.. reluctant to wish it.. but I hope something bad will happen.. such that I can be with them again.

Also, it’s perhaps bad to say as well, but I’m glad that Leonhard and Dmitri are split apart. Leonhard is.. my loyal knight, and I wish for nothing bad to happen to him. But he has grown a little more than fond of Dmitri lately and... it worries me. Dmitri is.. is someone who had the willpower to stab our classmate. I.. I simply don’t want Leonhard to be hurt.

Diary, I hope this isn’t too much to unpack. I.. can only hope things will be better soon, but with the current circumstances.. I can only feel dread... and fear... what’s going to happen to us?

I must stay hopeful.. or.. at least try to.

Yours dearly, Chiyo Oshiro

[nctinfo]

[TRANS] Mark’s 2017 Year-End Evaluation and interview

24 hours, no 12 months was not enough. NCT Mark, 19 years of age, spent the year hotter than anyone else. I especially met Mark who was standing on the borderline just before he became an adult. At the end of the year, I asked Mark to evaluate his own activities from January to December. Out of 10 points, the points Mark gave himself are as follows. 

[End Of Year Evaluation] NCT Mark "'High School Rapper' I think this was the last chance for me" (Interview 1)

◆ January:  “Limitless” Comeback  — 7/10

“After a long time 'Limitless' album came out after NCT127's 'Firetruck', so we seriously practiced a lot, also because it was our first time appearing as nine members. So I guess I am more reluctant (to let go). I feel like I could not show the public how cool 'Limitless' was when our team members practiced it. We realized that we should show the coolness that we thought and imagined to the public and the fans, not to ourselves.

◆ February: “My First and Last” Promotions & 1st Win (since debut)  — 20/10

"'My First and Last' is really my favourite song, the dance was fun so I had good memories. Since it was our first time getting first place after our debut so I remember it more."

◆ March: “KCON 2017 Mexico” Performance  — 10/10

"I think that time was the first time I went to Mexico. I was very happy to perform first of all. So I gave performances and stages 10 points. I think the Mexico concert was by far the largest stage we've ever been on, so it was an even more meaningful experience. If I had to add a little bit more words, 'Ah, this is what a concert feels like', I had interesting imaginations of our NCT concert stage when I was on stage." 

◆ April:  “High School Rapper” Final  — 11/10

"To be honest I was really worried about 'High School Rapper', I was more worried about the people around me than myself. I think this kind of reaction became a great cheer for me. When everything ended and I thought about it, 'High School Rapper' wasn't just something I liked, it was something I real~ly, real~ly liked. Since I received a lot, even when the final performance finished, many lingering imagery were left behind. I thought it was the last chance for me. There isn't another chance for me to perform as a proper high school student."

 – Were you not scared? Surely there were situations when people looked at you with sunglasses because you are an idol. "Ah, of course, at first there was fear for survival. Manager hyung said to me 'you decide whether this is a crisis or a chance' I honestly had many worries. In the end I went with the mindset to learn. When the broadcasting all ended, 'Woah, I did this hard work! Now I won't shake anymore!' I thought so but there were a lot of things afterwards that made me shaking and nervous. Hehe. First of all, I am content that I was in a good rap class. After 'High School Rapper' ended, members said jokingly to me 'Now are you going to go on 'Show Me the Money'?'.. I don't really know. It's not, 'Definitely not!' this kind of mindset, but I think I can seriously think about it."

◆ May:  NCT 127 Comeback Preparation & MV Filming  — 10/10

"I debuted in April 2016, to be honest during that time for me I think there wasn't a time that I practiced properly. However, May was the most memorable time for me. I felt I needed time to practice and study, which is the process of finding me. In that sense, May was a meaningful month. 

◆ June:  NCT 127 1st Win with “Cherry Bomb”  — 20/10

"Since we had activities for 'Cherry Bomb', I think our members became a bit closer. When I first heard 'Cherry Bomb' I faced it with the mindset of 'Let's really properly do it this time'. Compared to 'Limitless' in January, I made a bigger pledge and I worked hard participating in the album work as well as Taeyong hyung. I was expecting that much. Personally, I love Choreographer Tony Tasta's choreography, and I was more proud to work together through 'Cherry Bomb'."

– Did you cry after getting first place? Ah, unfortunately, 'Cherry Bomb' didn't get first place on public television (t/n: iknigayo, musicbank or musiccore) . We should look out for the next chance. I didn't cry. When people are next to me, it is awkward and weird for me to cry. I don't think I've been crying a lot in front of the members since I came to Korea.

[End Of Year Evaluation] NCT Mark “Xiumin · Park Jaejung · Yoon Jongshin, Thank You for Lending a Hand” (Interview 2)

It’s time to get to know the real Mark starting from the second half of this year.There were a lot of colleagues who lent Mark a hand. While Mark was passionately promoting during the second half of the year, we were able to properly get to know his name and face.

◆ July: Snowball Project & Release of “Young & Free” with Xiumin & SMTOWN Live Performance  — 10/10 

“Firstly, I am forever grateful since there were so many people who lent me a hand.  If I think about it now, it wasn’t that I first went to and asked my manager-hyung “Hyung, am I allowed to grab onto this opportunity?” but instead, the opportunities came and found me first. So of course, I couldn’t do anything but work even harder. “Snowball Project” was a very good memory. I was really happy to first meet Parc Jae jung hyung, who’s like a friend, and being able to keep in step with Henry hyung and Yoon Jongshin seonsaengnim was great too. There wasn’t a script, and I was able to more comfortably show my image as it is.”

– You did a lot at the SMTOWN Performance too.  “Really, to be able to do the performance next to and together with great seniors?  At that time, EXO Baekhyun said “Oh, Mark’s busy today~” and I was thankful for that.  Of course, other seniors have a lot more fans, but seeing fans cheerfully enjoy our various stages was great.  Really, I think that the fans of our seniors have huge hearts, to even cheer us on…” 

◆ August: “We Young” Comeback & Mark’s Birthday  — 8/10  

“Since Haechan and I were preparing for DREAM while doing 127 promotions, there were a lot of lacking points. That’s why it’s 8 points. When the members completed finish learning the choreography, Haechan and I would go and practice it sepearately…  So of course, there were trials and errors. Although I did it with my all, it feels like I wasn’t able to see all of DREAM’s energy?  I gave “My First and Last” more points than to “We Young” promotions because it was really lacking.” 

– Is there a birthday gift that left you a great memory?  “EXO Xiumin hyung bought me expensive earphones.  Before my birthday, he sent me a KaKaoTalk message and asked me what I wanted, but I replied, “It’s okay~ [T/N: “There’s no need”].  But he said, “I’m not joking.”  I told him no again, that it’s okay, but he insisted and said “What kind of earphones do you wear?”  So I told him what I wear, and he bought me something muchhhh~ better.  At that time, Xiumin hyung said “Please understand that I couldn’t give it to you directly on your birthday and that my manager hyung delivered it,” but surprisingly, it came right on the day of my birthday. Ah, it was such a good thing. There’s even been times where I’ve stood/gone on stage wearing [the earphones] that he bought.  Xiumin hyung’s birthday is March 26th, right?  I’m not going to forget and will remember.”

– It seems like you have a special relationship with Xiumin hyung "When Xiumin hyung was debuting with 'MAMA', It was the time I came to Korea as an sm trainee. At that time, when the EXO hyungs would come to the practice room, they would give me a hat.. And when I came back from Canada they would say "Yah, did you get taller?".. I also wouldn't have thought that I would become close to Xiumin hyung, but a trainer hyung told Xiumin hyung  "There's this kid called Mark amongst the trainees" and that's how we have grown close. And this year, I was able to do an SM Station song together with Xuimin hyung. It was really amazing. When I was a trainee we just met in the practice room but now we were able to release a song together.

◆ September: 2017 Melody Forest Camp Attendance — 5/10

“Ah, I still feel very regretful about Melody Forest Camp so I can only give it a 5. I felt not comfortable because the audience was not only just our fans like it is during music broadcasts. There were a lot of people who didn't know me. Furthermore, I do not speak Korean well but I had to talk to the crowd alone. It was just 20 seconds but I didn't know how long those 20 seconds can actually be. Wah, it was really hard. This festival has given me a renewed sense of the precious value of our fans. Luckily, Parc Jae Jung hyung was there to help me.. Parc Jae Jung hyung even dances to 'Cherry Bomb' that time and Yoon Jongshin seonsaengnim (teacher) even rapped our song 'Mad City', I really enjoyed it. “

◆ October: Various Musical Events & Overseas Schedule  — 10/10

“I like both airplane flights and performances. At that time, I think I was the MC for Music Bank and the members made fun of me and said I was a "human Alphago" (t/n: something like a robot). Ah, it was really difficult to progress. We also visited the Philippines and Macau and as we performed on those stages, I have grown the desire to perform at big stages so much more.”

◆ November: NCT 127 1st Japan Solo Concert   — 10/10

“It was the promotional time that we announced that NCT 127 will debut in Japan next year. Since then, I have been studying Japanese with the members. It was an exciting experience to be able to release the Japanese version of 'Limitless'. As I told you before, I really like to perform onstage and I once again realized that "Ah, this is why I want to become an artist".

◆ December:  MAMA Attendance & Release of Carol Song “JOY”   — 9.5/10

“I thought after 'High School Rapper' there was nothing to feel nervous about anymore, but I was really nervous for MAMA. Especially because I was gonna perform with Dynamic Duo sunbaenim. Fortunately, we were allowed to rehearse a lot so I was able to feel more comfortable. I was on the stage for the opening stage, but it felt strange. All the other artists were all seated and the members cheering for me too. “ – You participated in writing the rap lyrics for the carol sing 'JOY'? “Originally I write each (lyric) very carefully, but this time I felt a bit regretful. My mom told me it was okay but I was not satisfied. I made some changes in the way I write lyrics. Of course, it's the way only I know how to do, but during the recording, it changed and I tried many different things.. well, it was just time of learning for me. I'll do better next time.” – In 2018, Mark will turn 20 years old. He will no longer be a minor. The ambitious Mark promises to be more active next year and to achieve better results. “Being busy is also an opportunity. I'm the type of person to feel joyful during busy times. I want to live diligently and (I feel like) being busy will improve me. There was something the members said during MAMA 'let's sit at the artists' table with a different mindset next year'. I hope we can go to the awards ceremony with greater results and hope for bigger prizes.” – On the day it was snowing during the interview, Mark gave a somewhat extraordinary answer when we asked about his plan for next year. “I'm really happy because there's snow. I hope it will be colder next year. I like the cold that's why I want to release a Winter Special album like the EXO-hyungs. The company is working hard on supporting us so we can only do our best right?”

Translation: Teddy, Sher, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: Sports Donga [1] [2]

Please take out with full credit!

[empress-penguin]

Fiction: Distractions (Chapter 3)

Title: Distractions

Rating: PG-13/T

Fandom: Wild Kratts

Summary: An unexpected move by one side changes the dynamics of the game – and some of the players may never be quite the same again…

Notes: Just a hypothetical that I thought would be fun to explore.  Of course, my definition of “fun” may be slightly suspect…

Navigation: Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5

Distractions

Chapter 3

Martin stood beneath the jet, looking appraisingly at the hatchway above him.  The aircraft had several openings, including two more traditional doors, but he'd decided on this one for the simple reason that, in the absence of whatever device Donita used to operate the entrance ramps, it was the only one accessible from ground level.  

The question was how to get it open.  For a brief moment, he second-guessed their hasty division of labor, the younger brother being the more mechanically inclined of the two, but then he shook his head.  He was confident that he'd be able to make it on board without too much difficulty, and although he'd never admit it, he would much rather have Chris in the Createrra than alone on a villain's jet.  He knew his brother could take care of himself, but still… Chris had been held captive on Zach's plane once before, and Martin was determined not to let anything like that happen again.  “And besides,” he said aloud, banishing the memory with a soft chuckle as he located the catch several inches above his head and reached up to begin trying to disengage it, “I'm taller."

The chisel on his Creature Pod proved too bulky for the task, but no matter; Martin, as usual, had plenty of other resources at his disposal.  Rooting around in his pockets, he came up with a coil of wire, left over from a new invention that he'd been helping Aviva build a few days earlier.  “She'll probably want that back at some point,” he mused, then shrugged.  “But she won't mind donating some of it for a good cause.”  Sitting down cross-legged on the ground beneath the jet, he unrolled a length of wire and got to work, folding and twisting it into the shape he needed.  Then, crossing his fingers for luck, he got to his feet once more and threaded his makeshift key into the mechanism.

It took a bit of trial and error, but finally the catch gave way.  Martin ducked as the heavy doors came swinging toward him, then jumped up and caught hold of the metal rim that surrounded the opening.  A quick pull, a bit of a scramble, and he was inside, straightening up to find himself in a cavernous, dimly-lit room that seemed to be a combination cargo hold and storage area.  The vacuum extractor that Donita used for large-scale creature harvesting stood in one corner, its long hose and suction tube coiled and waiting for whatever her next big project might be, and the shelves lining the nearest wall overflowed with bolts of fabric and boxes of ribbons and trims in every color imaginable.  Beyond the circle of sunlight that spilled in through the hatchway, the outlines of a host of other objects blurred together in the semidarkness, but at the far end of the room another promising gleam caught his eye.  Martin moved closer to investigate, threading his way between an oversized birdcage and Donita's lipstick-shaped submarine.  It was an access door, just as he’d hoped, set into the wall atop a narrow metal staircase and evidently left ajar in the designer’s eagerness to add to her inventory.  Her studio – and Frank – had to be up there. 

All at once, he froze in his tracks, stifling a yell.  Somewhere to his left, just on the edge of his vision, the shadows had coalesced into a human form. 

He spun around to face his opponent head-on, bracing for some kind of confrontation, but none came.  The solitary figure remained motionless, and Martin, too, held his ground, muscles tensed, eyes darting around the room as he considered his options.  No fighter, he was loath to approach the other party directly, but although he was tempted to make a dash for the stairs and try to grab Frank before whoever it was caught up with him, the idea of turning his back on an unknown adversary – and one who was almost certainly more familiar with the interior of this jet than he was – was not a particularly appealing one, either.  Meanwhile, his counterpart appeared content to bide his time as the nerve-wracking silence stretched on, longer and longer…

Too long.  Martin frowned, the suspicion that had been tugging at the back of his mind growing stronger.  Easing his defensive posture just slightly, he took a cautious step forward, and then another.  A few more steps, and he broke into a laugh that was equal parts sheepish and relieved.  

He had not been squaring off with a villain at all, but with a large dressmaker's dummy, clad in a half-finished evening gown that, thankfully, seemed to be devoid of any living components.  Martin released a slightly shaky breath, feeling his racing heart begin to slow as the rush of adrenaline ebbed away.  “That'll make a good story to tell Chris,” he decided with another laugh, but he found himself quickening his pace all the same as he made his way toward the door.  The sooner he and Frank were safely out of this place, the better.

Taking the stairs two at a time, he pushed his way through the access door and the thick velvet draperies that hung over it, and on into the jet’s main cabin, where he quickly spotted the familiar furry figure curled atop a large mannequin near the center of the room.  “Don't worry, buddy,” Martin assured him as the monkey's eyes – the only part of him that was still able to move – turned toward him with an almost pleading expression.  “I'm gonna get you out of here.  Just gotta find the controller...”  He glanced around as he spoke, but couldn't see it anywhere nearby.  “Hold on… it’s got to be around here somewhere...”  A moment of thought, then a snap of his fingers, and he was off, hurrying toward the desk at one end of the room.  Sure enough, there was the controller, just visible next to a sleek, multi-featured sewing machine.  Martin broke into a relieved smile as he reached over to pick up the device.  Now all he had to do was zap Frank with it, and they would both be on their way home.  

"Well, hello, Martino."

Martin whirled around.  Donita was standing in the doorway, one hand on her hip, regarding him with a slightly amused expression.  

"Donita!”  Seeing that she was alone, Martin stiffened, his eyes narrowing in a mixture of suspicion and concern.  “Where's Chris?"

The designer waved a dismissive hand.  “He's busy fixing that little jeep of yours.  Dabio's keeping an eye on him.  But you and I have some…business to attend to.”  She took a few purposeful strides toward him.  “Put down the controller."

Martin shook his head.  “You have to let the monkey go, Donita.  He's the leader of a whole troop – they're all depending on him!"

Donita ignored him, continuing to advance across the floor of the jet.  “I'd advise you to put it down,” she repeated, with a bit of a smirk.  “You’ve already got more than you can handle.”

"Wh– what do you mean?”  Martin took a step backwards without quite knowing why.  The slender fashionista wasn't much of a threat per se, but that knowing smile she was wearing made him nervous – a feeling that only intensified when he felt the wall of the jet at his back.

Donita only smiled more broadly.  She was right in front of him now, and he caught a whiff of some exotic floral perfume as one well-manicured hand shot out, pinning his shoulder to the wall.  Martin stared at her, a hundred different possibilities running through his head, but what followed was the very last thing he’d anticipated.  

She kissed him.

Taken completely by surprise, he responded instinctively for a brief, dizzying moment… until his conscious mind caught up with what was going on and he pulled away, wide-eyed and speechless.

Donita gave a trill of laughter at the expression on his face.  “Oh, come now, darling.  There’s no need to look so horrified.  We’re just having a bit of fun.”

Martin swallowed hard, still struggling to formulate some kind of a response – between his utter bewilderment at what had just happened and the distracting sensation of Donita's fingers delicately twining themselves into the back of his hair, he was finding coherent thoughts rather hard to come by.  But the answer seemed to come from somewhere deeper, pushing its way through the tumult in his mind.  “No,” he whispered hoarsely.

"No?”  Donita echoed, with another rippling laugh.  “Whyever not?  No one has to know.”  She flashed him a wicked smile.  “And don't tell me you didn’t enjoy it."

Much to his annoyance, Martin felt himself flushing.  “I– “ he spluttered, “I’m a guy, Donita.  It’s– it's biological."

"Precisely,” Donita purred.  Releasing his shoulder, she trailed her fingers down his arm, taking hold of his hand and guiding it to her waist.  “We're just mammals, aren't we, Martino?  What is it you Kratts always say?  'Living wild and free?’"

“‘Living free and in the wild,’” Martin corrected automatically, if a little breathlessly.  “And it’s, uh… it’s really… Chris’s line…”  He stopped, realizing that they had wandered from the point.  But the familiar catchphrase had a steadying effect, bringing his swirling thoughts back into focus, and he felt himself on sure footing once more.  

"B-but, yeah, that's what we believe.  Both of us.”  Reaching up, he gently but firmly detached her hand from the back of his neck, pulling his other hand from beneath hers and letting it fall to his side.  “It's my job to protect animals from people like you,” he reminded her.  “And I can't do that if I... if we..."

"Oh, Martino.”  Donita shook her head reproachfully, a mock pout playing across her features.  “Is your work all that matters to you?”  

Martin had largely been avoiding her gaze, which made him exponentially more uncomfortable, but now he found himself staring at her with a mixture of astonishment and dismay.  Did she… did she think he was just sparring with her?  His expression hardened slightly as he forced himself to meet her eyes, strengthened by the suddenly pressing need to somehow make her understand.

“No.  But I could never respect or– “ he stumbled a little over the words – “care for someone who treats animals the way you do.  And I’d lose all my self-respect – and the respect of people I do care about – if I... got involved with you."

The silence that followed seemed interminable, and Martin held his breath, trying desperately to steel himself for whatever her response might be.  Then – 

“I see,” Donita said quietly.  

She turned away, but not before Martin caught a flicker of something in her golden eyes, something that made him take a step toward her as she stood over the desk, her hands spread flat against its surface and her head slightly bowed.  “Donita– “

"Just go,” she whispered, her back still to him.  “Just go."

Martin was only too happy to accept that invitation, but he certainly wasn’t about to leave without Frank.  Realizing suddenly that he had no idea where the controller was, he looked around rather blankly before spotting it on the floor near where Donita had cornered him.  He must have dropped it after all.  

In another situation, that might have been funny.

He kept a wary eye on Donita as he picked up the device and circled back toward the mannequin, but she made no move to stop him, even when Frank's excited chittering clearly advertised his release.  The monkey shied away at his approach, but when Martin stopped a short distance away, imitating as best he could the friendly trill he’d heard the capuchins using to greet each other back at the stream, Frank turned and stared intently at him for a long moment, then – though still trembling slightly – climbed into his outstretched arms and allowed himself to be carried toward the door.  Gently stroking the thick, dark fur as he ducked back through the curtains and hurried down the stairs, Martin could feel the capuchin begin to quiet under his touch… and he found himself wishing that his own agitation could be so easily assuaged.

.

.

Chris smiled wryly to himself as he climbed back into the Createrra.  A flat tire certainly wouldn't have been his first choice, but on the plus side, it was the perfect excuse to delay the alleged monkey-finding expedition – he didn't know how long he could have driven around aimlessly without arousing suspicion.  Martin should be on board the jet by now, he calculated, maybe already on his way out with Frank in tow.  He’d just follow this trail a little farther and wait for his brother's call.

Pulling the Createrra back onto the path, he ventured a cautious peek into the rear-view mirror.  Yes, there was the red convertible, partially concealed behind a massive kapok tree.  But–

Chris froze, his stomach plummeting like a rock as the realization of what he’d seen – or rather, what he hadn’t seen – sank in.  I must not have looked carefully enough, he rationalized, a bit desperately.  I’ll… I’ll just check again…

With as casual an air as he could muster, he shifted his position, craning his neck slightly under the guise of stretching out an imaginary crick– and now there was no denying the truth of the situation.  Dabio was alone in the car.  And Donita was nowhere in sight.

"Oh, no,” he whispered.  “Oh, no.”  Abandoning all pretense, he spun the Createrra around and started back toward the jet as fast as he could go.

.

.

Throwing the jeep into park outside the plane a few minutes later, Chris vaulted out of the driver’s seat, fighting the overmastering urge to simply storm the jet.  His heart was screaming at him to get in there and help his brother, but his head warned that Dabio, whom he’d managed to lose temporarily in the thick foliage, might return at any moment, and that he was definitely going to need some backup when that happened.  As he reached for his Creature Pod, however, a flash of movement caught his attention, and he looked up to see a familiar pair of boots descending from the hatchway beneath the jet; the next moment, Martin was on the ground with Frank in his arms.  Ducking hastily under the open doors, he threw a quick, nervous glance over his shoulder, then bolted, making a break for the safety of the surrounding trees.  

“Martin!”

The older Kratt gave a violent start at the sound of his brother’s voice, but then turned and began hurrying in his direction.  “I’m so sorry, bro,” Chris called, running to meet him.  “I got a flat tire, and Donita must’ve gotten close enough to figure out what we were up to, because by the time I got it fixed, she was gone!  I came back here as fast as I could, but–”  He broke off, suddenly noticing the look on his brother’s face.  “Martin, are you all right?  You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”  

His brother stared rather vaguely at him, as though he hadn’t heard a word Chris had said, but seemed to shake himself out of it as they reached the Createrra.  “I’m fine,” he responded tersely, swinging himself and Frank into the passenger seat while Chris climbed back in on the driver’s side.  “Let’s get out of here.  Go.  Go.”

[artstropicalokinawa]

最近、というかここ数年、ラジオをやるようになった。ラジオといっても、誰かと定期的に話すのを録音して、YouTubeやポッドキャストにあげるという素人ラジオなのだが。 
その中の『山下道ラジオ』の放送が、ついに50回を超えた。 https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLI14yGCeRYoUejQYyzGPeSqUtU2f-xC2J


視聴数は毎回100回程度なので、よく聞いている人はだいたい50人くらいいるのかもしれない。まぁ、すでに視聴者数を気にしないようになっている。このラジオは、おそらく多くのリスナーを獲得するためのものではない（できるに越したことはないが）。これはラジオという”産業”とは全く別のものとして存在していて、二人の日々の思ったことやアイデアを話し合う公開ミーティングであり、公開の飲み会であり、他愛もない日常を繋いだだけの“場所”であり、その記録である。ラジオという形を使った「遠く離れた２人による日記の同時筆記」なのかもしれない。
（産業としてのラジオとは、スポンサー収入や芸能人やミュージシャンとかの営業や告知など、いろんなレベルでお金が発生しているしその関連の存在。『山下道ラジオ』が何にも産業として意味がないのもどうなのか？と思うが、仕事や考え方や生き方を考えたり発言することで脳を回し続ける、”無宗教の寺”みたいな存在なのかもしれない。自分のためでもあり、時に誰かの役にもたつかもしれない。アイデアのオープンソース。） 山下陽光氏との他愛もない会話の中から始まったこのライジオの特徴は、毎回、彼の住む福岡と僕の住む愛知（途中から直島へ移住）をメッセンジャーでつないで録音する、というアナログなもので、「離れた場所どうしをつないで面白いことをしたいね」という『新しい骨董（2013年より活動をするグループ）』の試行錯誤の延長上にあった企画／実験であった。ただ、このラジオは2020年3月11日に開始され、当初本人たちは「離れた場所を繋いで話してラジオ作る全然できるし、たのしいー！」と狂ったように毎日毎日盛り上がって収録していたのだが、１ヶ月後、毎日はやりすぎでしょ、と週一になった。ちょうどその頃、新型コロナが中国以外でも爆発的に流行しはじめ、4月16日にロックダウンが起こると、人々は遠隔で様々なことをしなくてはいけない状況になり、ラジオやテレビ、会議や学校までも、遠隔でオンラインで行うのが“普通”になってしまっていった。（ちなみに、「山下道ラジオ」の第一回テーマは「住む場所と移住」でコロナの話題はまだない。僕自身のこのラジオへの当初の期待は、愛知から直島への移住を準備していた時期に、「どこで暮らすか」をより深く掘り下げて考えることだったと記憶する。）世の中では徐々にウィルスが流行する中で、展覧会やイベントの多くが中止になり、「オンラインで世界が繋がる」という趣旨のイベントが多数行われるようになった。離れた場所どうしでイベントや収録を行うのが当たり前になる感覚は、もし人類がこのウィルスに勝利した後も続くだろうと考えると、『山下道ラジオ』は１ヶ月だけ世界より早くその感覚を手にしていたのかもしれない。いやいや、陽光くんは、YouTubeが始まる一年前の2004年に（中古のフェミカセに書かれた名前をたよりに本人を探す動画を撮ったり、色々と）すでにYouTuberのようなことを始めていた人物でもあるし、ネットラジオというのもかなり早い段階から行なっていたので、この出来事も妙に納得できる。彼は”前衛”であり、0から1の壁を突破する人で、１になった瞬間にそれは世間で”当たり前”になるものだから。（『山下道ラジオ』がそこまで新しくはないが。） 僕はというと、2014年から「旅するリサーチラボラトリー」というサウンドアーティストmamoruとのコラボの中で、「旅のフィールドノートの同時筆記」を試行錯誤し、一緒に旅をしながらラジオを収録することを意識的に行なっていたので、その筋力が今ようやく自由に生かされているようにも思っている。
https://www.travelingresearchlaboratory.com/ 
そして
今週、『微妙な放送』という、香港と日本をつなぐラジオ、広東語と日本語で同時に聞けるラジオをはじめた。毎週、直島と香港の日常を毎週繋ぎ、日々の出来事、作品制作や家族の事や色々話す。2年前までかなり頻繁に香港に行っていて、初めは仕事の出会いから、飲み仲間になった3人。香港在住の美術家のヒンさんと通訳のヒコさん。同時通訳ヒコさんは香港と日本、両方がネイティブ。そして、日本のラジオもよく聞くそうで、そんなヒコさんがふたりの美術家を　同時通訳で繋ぎながらMCをする。ヒンさんは素晴らしい美術家であり、四年前に香港の学生を連れて日本を一緒に旅行しながら、毎日ラジオを録音した経験を持つ。いや、3人の関係性や専門性がないとなかなか成立しないし、半分意味の分からない間がある奇妙なラジオ『微妙な放送』。この同時通訳者が二つの国や言語をまたいでつなぐラジオ、これがなかなか新感覚で面白い。（聞いてみないと伝わらないのでリンクをぜひ。）
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2bHrW1IIVv2xYEM9qSO5Qw このラジオ『微妙な放送』も「遠く離れた２箇所による日記の同時筆記」。僕とヒンさんとヒコさんが、香港で３人でよく飲んでいて、深夜とかになてくると、僕は日本語で語り、ヒンさんも香港語で語り、ヒコさんがそれをひたすらつなぐ、みたいな飲み会がたまにやっていて（プロの通訳に対してリスペクトのない行為…）、そういう関係性や経験があったからナチュラルにスタートしたのだけれど。
今後、誰か真似できるもっと面白い人々が、韓国と日本とか、日本と全く知らないアフリカの人々とか、同じようなことを始めたりしたら、面白いだろうなぁ。聴きたいなぁ。と勝手に想像している。 さて、話を最後にまとめると、
なんだか、国家や政権というのは民衆のことを全く考えないようで私腹を肥やし、他者に対して排他的にどんどん進んでいるように感じる。（いや違うか。実はその国の市民の多数がお金儲け第一で排他的でそういう政権を欲している、という国家はその民度の映し鏡であるとも言えるが。）でも、それって今始まったことでもない。もちろん、反対の声をあげるのは重要だし継続していくべきだけど。香港なんかでは、何万人もの民衆の声を堂々と無視する人たちだ。だからこそ、もしかすると、こういうラジオが離れた人と人や閉ざされた国と国の壁をヒュッと飛び越えて、それぞれの普通の“日常”を繋いで、普通でポジティブに、風穴をいろんなところで開けていくって、結構面白い実験なのではないか。と思っている。 いやいや、そんな大それたことでもないし、日々ストレッチするくらいの気持ちで楽しんでいるだけですが。。

Recently, or rather these past few years, I’ve been doing radio shows. I say radio shows, but they’re just amateur ones where I regularly record myself talking to someone and put it up on YouTube or Podcast.

Of those, ‘Yamashitamichi Radio’ has finally gone over 50 broadcasts. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLI14yGCeRYoUejQYyzGPeSqUtU2f-xC2J There are up to a hundred listeners every broadcast, so maybe there are around 50 regular listeners. However, I’ve already stopped being concerned about the number of listeners. This radio show probably isn’t something I made for the purpose of getting popularlity (although that would be nice). It exists as something completely different from the ‘industry’ of radio. It’s a public meeting where two people talk about ideas and things that they think about from day to day. It’s like a public drinking party. It’s a ‘place’ where simply innocent everyday life is joined up. And it’s a record of all of those things. Maybe it’s a ‘simultaneous writing of diaries by two people who are far away from each other’ using the  radio format. ("Radio as an industry" means the radio and the affiliates related to money generation at all sorts of levels, such as sponsor income as well as the business and advertisements of celebrities and musicians. I do wonder if it is really okay that ‘Yamashitamichi Radio’ has nothing to do with it?  but maybe our radio is something like a ‘temple with no religion’ where we continue working our brain by thinking and talking about our job, our thoughts and our life. It’s for ourselves, but it might be useful sometime to someone else too. It’s an open source of ideas.)

A distinctive characteristic of this radio show was taking place as an extension of the trial and error in ‘Atarashii Kotto (‘New Antiques’, a group active since 2013).’ This radio show was started from an innocent conversation with Mr. Akimitsu Yamashita, who living in Fukuoka and me living in Aichi (I moved to Naoshima partway through), and it was a plan/experiment of ‘we want to connect faraway places together and do something fun.’ It is not that technologically advanced, as we record each time via Messenger. When we started this radio show on March 11th, 2020, at the beginning we were super pumped up like, ‘Connect faraway places, talk and make a radio show? That’s easy! It’ll be so much fun!’ and madly recorded every day,  But after one month, we realized every day was a bit much, and it became weekly. Just around that time, COVID-19 began to explode out of China, and when the lockdown happened on April 16th, people had to do various things the long-distance way. Radio shows, televisions and even conferences and school classes being carried out over long distances online ended up becoming ‘normal.’ (In addition, the first theme of ‘Yamashitamichi Radio’ was ‘The Place Where You Live and Moving,’ and the subject of COVID-19 was not yet present. I remember that my own hope for the show at that time was to think more deeply about ‘where to live’ at the timing I was preparing to move from Aichi to Naoshima.) As the virus gradually spread throughout the world, many exhibitions and events were cancelled and lots of events with the theme of ‘the world is connected online’ came to be carried out. When I think about how events and recordings being carried out between faraway places will continue to be totally ordinary even in the post-pandemic society, then maybe ‘Yamashitamichi Radio’ took hold of that sense just one month before the rest of the world. I find this thought understandable, in a strange way. I mean, Akimitsu is someone who was already doing YouTuber-like things in 2004, a year before YouTube existed (he did all sorts of things, like making videos of the search for a person from a name written on a second-hand video game cassette), and he was doing Internet radio from a pretty early stage. After all, he is a ‘vanguard,’ a person who breaks through the wall between 0 and 1. And when it becomes 1, that becomes the ‘normal’ in the rest of the world (although ‘Yamashitamichi Radio’ isn’t that new). As for me, since 2014 I did some trial and error in the ‘simultaneous writing of travel field notes,’ during a collaboration with the sound artist ‘Mamoru’ called ‘The Traveling Research Laboratory,’ and I was consciously recording a radio show while traveling together with ‘mamoru,’ and I think that I’m finally able to freely put that knowhow to good use now. https://www.travelingresearchlaboratory.com/

And this week, I started a new radio show called ‘Bimyo na Hoso, (‘Subtle Broadcast’)’ a radio show connecting Hong Kong and Japan, where you can listen to Cantonese and Japanese at the same time. Every week, we connect the everyday citizens of Naoshima and Hong Kong and talk about all kinds of things, like everyday happenings, creating works and family. There are three of us. I went to Hong Kong quite regularly up until two years ago, and we started by meeting through work, and then became drinking friends. There’s me and the artist Hin-san and the interpreter Hiko-san, who live in Hong Kong. Hiko-san, who does simultaneous interpreting, is native of both Hong Kong and Japan. Hiko-san, who is also a Japanese radio listener, is the MC connecting Hin-san and me, the two artists, through simultaneous interpreting. Hin-san is an amazing artist and has experience of recording a radio show every day while taking Hong Kong students traveling around Japan, four years ago. Yes, ‘Bimyo na Hoso’ is a strange radio show with a half-mysterious intervals, and it’s difficult to make it come together without the relationship and expertise that we three have. A radio show where a simultaneous interpreter crosses over and connects two countries or languages is pretty fresh and interesting (you need to listen to it to get my meaning, so go ahead and click the link). https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2bHrW1IIVv2xYEM9qSO5Qw This radio show, ‘Bimyo na Hoso’ is also a ‘simultaneous writing of diaries through two places far away from each other.’ The three of us – Hin-san, Hiko-san and me – often drank together in Hong Kong, and sometimes as the night goes on, I spoke in Japanese and Hin-san spoke in Hong Kong Cantonese and Hiko-san earnestly connected us (I guess the two of us weren’t showing respect to the professional interpreter by doing this…), and it was because we had that kind of relationship and experience that we could start the show naturally. It would be interesting if, in the future, more interesting people who can imitate us start the same thing, like with South Korea and Japan, or Japan and people in Africa whom one has never met. I’d love to listen to them. Those are just my own imaginings. Now, to sum up everything, somehow, I get the feeling that ‘country’ and ‘political power’ are advancing continually in a way that excludes other people, enriching themselves without thinking about the public at all (no, that’s not it. You can say that, in actuality, a country where many citizens put making money first and exclude others and want a political power like that, reflects its cultural standards). But that’s not something that started now. Of course, raising voices of opposition is important and should be continued. In Hong Kong, the voices of tens of thousands people in the public are being brazenly ignored. That’s why I believe having a radio show like this, which jumps right over the wall between distant people or countries, connects each of their normal ‘everyday lives,’ and make openings in all sorts of places in a natural and positive way, is a pretty interesting experiment. Well, it’s not something so important. I’m just enjoying it with the feeling similar to doing my daily stretches…

下道基行 / MOTOYUKI SHITAMICHI

1978年岡山生まれ。フィールドワークをベースに、生活のなかに埋没して忘却されかけている物語や日常的な物事を、 写真やイベント、インタビューなどの手法によって編集することで視覚化する。 http://m-shitamichi.com

[tapatapreview]

November 04, 2020 at 06:32AM https://ift.tt/2I7pdbM Gaming

The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope provides me somewhat hope for the way forward for Supermassive Games’ horror collection. Some sensible gameplay tweaks make sure that Little Hope nonetheless highlights Supermassive’s important function within the trendy journey house, but it surely additionally highlights why the studio’s future video games have to be higher than this for these sensible adjustments to actually shine.

Little Hope, like its instant predecessor Man of Medan, is a mashup of horror tropes and subgenres. It borrows iconography from The Blair Witch Project. It borrows its Puritan-era paranoia from The Witch (and Arthur Miller’s non-horror play The Crucible). And its conceit, which finds a gaggle of faculty college students and their professor stranded within the woods after their bus crashes, hangs on a premise that will probably be acquainted for followers of Stephen King’s The Mist or John Carpenter’s The Fog. As the sport progressed, I grew to become more and more skeptical that these threads would come collectively in a satisfying approach. In the top, they do not, however I nonetheless had fun on the journey to that disappointing conclusion.

Little Hope begins with a flashback to the Nineteen Seventies and a quick introduction to a troubled household of six. Dad is a heavy drinker. The older sister feels remoted and depressed. And, in a touch on the religious warfare that may dominate a lot of Little Hope’s second half, the youthful sister has been held again repeatedly after church to talk with the reverend. These glowing embers of drama quickly blaze up right into a literal raging hearth when the youthful sister leaves her doll on the stovetop. In the following blaze, each member of the household meets their grisly demise, save Will Poulter’s Anthony, who helplessly watches on.

Gallery

Our focus quickly shifts to a different group–a professor, John, and 4 college students, Andrew, Angela, Taylor, and Daniel–who try to regain their bearings after a bus crash leaves them stranded within the woods. The bus driver liable for the crash is lacking, and the field-tripping group finds themselves surrounded by a mysterious fog that sends anybody who ventures into it again within the course they got here. Each member of this group is a useless ringer for a member of the household from the sport’s opening. And, because the group ventures into the deserted city of Little Hope, they start to have visions of earlier doppelgangers, former inhabitants of the city caught up within the deadly paranoia of Seventeenth-century witch trials.

Despite the sprawling solid, you solely management the present-day variations of the characters. As you do, you make dialogue selections by pointing the needle of a compass at considered one of two spoken choices or the ever-present possibility to only be silent. Your decisions have an effect on the dynamics of character relationships and in addition trigger adjustments to their character traits.

As this story unfolds, it turns into more and more clear that Little Hope’s time-hopping ambitions impede its capacity to do a lot profitable character work within the right here and now. I’ve solely obscure concepts of who John, Angela, Taylor, Daniel, and Andrew are. In earlier video games, Supermassive has introduced characters as well-acted archetypes, then allowed gamers to additional outline their personalities inside these boundaries–playing to or towards sort. Here, the kinds are so ill-defined that it turns into tough to even have an opinion on what every character would or would not do. In a bonus unlockable interview with Will Poulter, the actor described his character as socially awkward. “I guess he was socially awkward,” I believed. But, as I believed again via the sport, I spotted that impression got here from a line the place his character, in impact, informed one other character that he was socially awkward. There is not practically sufficient within the moment-to-moment character interactions to floor these particulars. As a consequence, Little Hope’s central solid do not feel like three-dimensional characters. Some of them aren’t even profitable archetypes.

As you discover, you management your character’s motion and flashlight beam because the digital camera frames them in old-school Resident Evil-style angles. This is considered one of my favourite quirks of Supermassive design; it is one of many few studios in trendy mainstream video games carrying the torch for fastened digital camera horror. But the truth that a lot of Little Hope takes place on a lonely street signifies that Supermassive would not have as a lot room to mess around with viewpoint. Most of the time, Little Hope employs what quantities to a barely zoomed out third-person perspective, which looks like a missed alternative given Supermassive’s expertise for shot composition.

There are some optimistic adjustments, although. Little Hope appears much more technically sound than Man of Medan, and the story handles Supermassive’s trademark branching paths extra easily than ever because of this. While Man of Medan noticeably hitched at occasions because it tried to convey every little thing collectively and, presumably, cycle between totally different variations of cutscenes relying on which members of your get together had been nonetheless alive, Little Hope feels prefer it’s telling one seamless story. Little Hope genuinely nails the sensation that every little thing that’s occurring is authored. For instance, in a single scene that might play out with burgeoning couple Taylor and Daniel alone or with the pair accompanied by older nontraditional scholar Angela, Daniel says one thing to the impact of, “We’ll both get out of this, you’ll see.” It works as is when it is Daniel and Taylor alone. But it turns into a character-building second when Angela is current and, excluded from Daniel’s “both,” pointedly clears her throat. In this fashion, Little Hope manages to make use of the constraints inherent to its versatile narrative to do some good character work, even when that work is squandered of their total growth.

Additionally, the QTEs that outline Supermassive’s adrenaline-pumping method to life-or-death motion are at their greatest right here. Instead of simply popping up randomly, the timed button presses now seem first as a warning–smartly positioned on-screen to reflect the position of the button on the controller–before you might be required to press them. This would not take away the strain, but it surely does offer you a greater likelihood of succeeding with out first spending a number of playthroughs studying the timing.

The Traits system, nevertheless, pushes the opposite course. As you make selections, the character traits, like “Fearful” or “Reckless,” are accentuated. If you make sufficient selections leaning in a single course, a padlock image will seem subsequent to that trait in your character profile, indicating that that trait is now an unchangeable a part of your character. I can clarify it now, but it surely took me two full playthroughs to grasp how this method works as a result of none of that is defined upfront. This system, which is opaque and never tutorialized, has main penalties late within the sport. But as you play, no context is given for the lock showing subsequent to the trait, and it is immensely irritating to see a personality’s destiny tied to a system the sport did not clarify. Tying character traits to a personality’s destiny could make narrative sense, but it surely’s introduced in such a murky approach that it ends in sure late-game character deaths that really feel fully out of your palms. While the UI has been improved to its greatest iteration in Little Hope, the Traits system ensures that shepherding your characters via the sport remains to be a irritating five-hour-long train in trial-and-error.

Still, regardless of its faults, Little Hope can not help however remind me of the explanations I really like Supermassive’s tackle the trendy narrative journey sport. The studio is masterful at producing pressure via gameplay so simple as a well-timed button press, and Little Hope is a high-water mark for the studio’s technical proficiency. While the story and character work are uncharacteristically lackluster, Little Hope nonetheless manages to supply a strong basis for Supermassive’s future.

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[heilith]

For the Mercy

A/n: Based off this imagine at thefandomimagine : Imagine Loki letting you braid his hair. 

Word count: 880

Song inspiration: Enrique Iglesias, Hero.

There will probably be a prequel to it - it seemed to me a nice side-story for another Loki drabble I’m planning to get done. 

For the Mercy.

Through trial and error you decide that you like to take it slowly. The first few braids were done before you could have any particular fun with them. You stumbled for a comfortable pace through a couple more of them, until the whole process finally began to feel like something you wouldn’t mind doing for hours, at the very least.

It gives you a pleasant tingle in your stomach to run the brush along the glossy black strands and smooth them out with a gentle stroke of your palm afterwards.      

Despite the vehement initial protests, Loki appears to be a perfectly obedient hair model. He hasn’t raised his head off your lap for a while already, giving you full freedom to ravish him as you please.

His chest moves up and falls measuredly under the olive-green shirt. The illusion of modern clothing is immaculate, but you know the fabric feels alien by touch, colder and slicker than any of the Earth-made material you’ve had a hand on.

You yield to the temptation and slip you fingers up and down the button line.  

There’s no particular reaction.

He’s still breathing quietly, and you’re not completely sure whether he is on the waking side of reality.

You do admit the experience can be a little lulling.

“Are you asleep?”

Loki stirs, the little twitch of his lips indicating that he’s clearly not.  

“I have to say the question is a bit off, star,” says he, not changing his position.

“You’d better get used to it. I do those a lot. Have me or leave me.”

He digests the bitter truth silently, which lets you finish on a braid and proceed to the next one.

“I’m glad I didn’t kill you,” mutters he, concluding the trail of thoughts that you’re certain you do not want to reconstruct.

That again…

You reach out for the brush once more to buy yourself some time for reflection.

He cloaks the sentiment in words way too often. You’ve lost count of the times you’ve heard it from him, stated in one way or another, with a various degree of openness. The tone in which he mentions it is rarely something other than ironic, and, generally, it doesn’t evoke any pleasant feelings in either of you, but he seems neither willing nor able to let it go.

You can never help translating it as a twisted apology, or, what is no better, an act of self-punishment. You’ve closed and sealed that part of the past for yourself, and knowing that he cannot do the same is saddening.

“Why, aren’t you the King of Backhand Compliments,” a joke strikes you as the best idea of them all.

“I take it as a thank you?” Loki sounds quite apathetic.

A mask is always on and never off. Even his eyes are still closed.

“A wow-wow,” you reply evasively. Treading the slippery ground is not one of your strongest skills.

“Oh, eloquent,” praises he with a bit of a drawl. 

His usual almost-smirk is there again, yet you don’t welcome it all sincerely this time. It cramps your peace of mind, and for a short time you forget why you’re here for at all.

The response comes on swift wings.

“Bored yet?”

“No,” getting yourself together, you pick up the last but one braid where you’ve dropped it, “I rather enjoy it, thank you.”

“I can’t imagine it being enjoyable,” remarks he in half-tone.

“Depends on the attitude, I guess,” you shrug, although he cannot see you, “May be, it’s just that I love you.”

You offer it without a second thought, almost as a surprise for yourself, yet, unlike so many times before, dead sure it was exactly what you wanted and needed to say right now.

Loki does a strange thing with his mouth, another twitch of the upper lip that ends up first a grimace, then a lopsided smile, stiff and forced.

It frightens you to realize how well he wears it, as though it’s been etched on those clear features for so long it became a natural, resting expression.  

You long to erase it, but he takes care of everything himself.

The kiss he gives you is slow and as burning as his skin is icy, when you frame his face in your hands.     

“Why, aren’t you the Queen of Unpopular Opinions,” says he in a thick voice, pulling away and settling back on your lap again

“I’ll take it as a thank you,” you shoot back, a little out of breath yourself.  

There’s not too much left for you to braid. You weave the rest of the loose hair into a neat tangle and release it.

“There. All done,” you tell him, ridiculously proud of all your hard work, “Ready.” 

Without a spare syllable, Loki lifts both hands to run them up from his forehead and all the way down to where his collar starts. Following a silent order, the braids come undone all in one breath, leaving his hair in its pristine condition – sleek, raven-dark and calling for a careful touch. 

A gasp is all you’re capable of.

“Loki!’ you snap in utter indignation, “Have you no shame? An hour of-“

“Do it again,” asks he, closing his eyes before you finish with it, “If you please.”