#altho to anyone i mentioned please don't feel as if you have to do this yourself! i just wanted y'all to know i love you and

[ill-skillsgard]

Faust x Faith - No Looking Back

Warning: 18+ smut, public sex, violence, blood, arson, implied death, mentions of non-consensual touching (nothing explicit and no r-words used,) mentions of stalking, unconsciousness, anti-religious themes, strong language.

Note: Hey, hey. I’ve wanted to write this for a while, but haven’t had much time. This isn’t based on any requests—just something I feel needs to happen to move the universe along. After this, I’ll be basing future FxF stuff off drabble requests instead of going story-heavy for a bit. Likes, comments and reblogs are suuuper ‘ppreciated!

Summary: - Not based on Lords of Chaos. I use Faust!Valter’s likeness only as inspiration - 3.6K words -

Faust makes good on his word to protect Faith, taking drastic measures to assure her assailant never bothers her again.

Read more Faust x Faith here [x]

Thin raindrops pattered the man's leather jacket as he walked through the streets with his hood drawn up and his eyes low. For two days, the drizzle persisted and melted the black snowbanks into slush. Though the dismal atmosphere kept most inside, Sven had good reason to travel across town on foot. The promise of a girl's company waited at the end of his route, and he put off his regular nightly routine of masturbating to fetish porn for—what he hoped was—the real thing.

He glanced at his cracked phone screen every few minutes to check in with her, making sure she hadn't changed her mind, that she was serious. From the earnestness of her messages and the speed at which she replied to his questions, he determined she meant what she said about wanting to meet. Finally, his luck was turning. He’d show that miserable bastard Faust who was the better man.

- What abt ur bf? Lol

- What about him? Not here, is he?

- Thought u were a good girl.

- Haha, not really. Are you close?

- Ya. Y r we meeting at this random place?

- I need you to promise you won't tell a soul. If you can prove that to me, maybe we can keep meeting up.

- Lol ok. I PROMISE I won't say a word😉

- Thank you. Hurry, please. It's cold out!

- Be there in 5. I'll let u wear my jacket altho idk might not need it😉

- Hehe omgosh. You're making me blush.

- I'll make u do way more then blush baby. Just wait.

Sven lengthened his strides and turned the corner onto a hill leading toward the industrial area of town. Down the slope, he walked past several warehouses and legions of trucks parked inside barbed-wire fencing. It was a peculiar site to meet up, but his rendezvous insisted on a place nobody would think to look.

Betting his night would take an erotic turn, Sven popped a piece of gum in his mouth and chewed away the cigarette taste. He was seconds away from the spot she chose to meet, and his chest constricted with excitement. His boots crunched over gravel and garbage as he walked down a narrow alley between two faceless buildings. There was an open lot at the end of the lane, where he assumed she was waiting. As he made his way through the dimly lit alley, he whistled to make his presence known. The shrill tune reverberated off an overflowing dumpster to his left, and as he stepped to clear the reeking trash receptacle, something hard and blunt swung out at eye-level and flattened him to the ground.

Dazed and blinded from the sudden strike, he tried moving his mouth, but only a bubble of blood popped from his lips. A piercing stream of sound filled his ears as the edges of his vision turned dark. A large black figure came into view above, haloed by the soggy grey sky in the deepening veil. The featureless shadow chuckled deeply before a heavy boot's tread put out his lights.

~*~

Several hours passed before Sven's eyelids shuddered. By then, his assailant had had plenty of time to tie him to a wooden chair and organize his instruments of punishment. A headache blistered through the man's skull, throbbing in his eye sockets until he gained enough consciousness to open them. When he saw the person who had knocked him out, his throat closed and the gasp ripping through came out high-pitched.

"Faust... Please... Don't—" Sven hiccoughed. "Don't do this. I'm sorry. I'm SORRY!"

Faust, who had been facing the doorway at the end of a long red runner, turned toward Sven, holding a hammer's handle in one hand while cradling the head in the other. A malicious smirk peeked out from a curtain of black hair. He took a step forward, the clomp of his leather boots echoing through the church. Each step made a menacing sound that bit down on Sven's nerves and rattled his sensitive skull.

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I know you hate me, but please, don't hurt me. I swear I'll never talk to her again!"

Faust approached, flashing the obsidian hammerhead. He tossed the tool in his grip and stuck his hand into his pocket, producing several five-inch nails.

"No! God, no, please! Faust! Don't do this!"

The black-haired giant stopped to admire the curve of the hammer’s prongs. Sven looked around the empty church and saw a jerrycan taking up space in a nearby pew. He immediately started struggling against the jute rope binding his wrists and ankles to the chair as Faust drew nearer, smile uncoiling.

"I already gave you the chance to never talk to her again. Remember?"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Sorry means fuck all to me. You should know that. The only reason you left the campsite with your dick intact is because of the witnesses," Faust said, then spun around with his arms out, showcasing their solitude. "Now, it's just you and me."

"Please don't," Sven muttered through swollen lips. "Fuck, I'll do anything!"

"There's nothing you can do. Nothing a sorry sack of human waste can provide this world to make me change my mind."

"SHE LIED!"

Faust jingled the nails in his jacket, reminding Sven who held the weapon.

"Whatever she told you... It's not true! I was at the party, but I didn't do anything to her!" Sven's voice cracked.

"Oh... So you didn't follow her into my bedroom?"

"No! I talked to her for a minute, and that's all. That's all, I swear, Faust. Don't kill me."

The stomp of boots neared the altar where Sven struggled in the chair. He twisted to loosen the rope and slipped one hand out. Faust grabbed his wrist and pinned it to the arm of the chair, readying a nail between his lips as he gripped the hammer. Sven let out a scream, stifled instantly by the hammerhead. Faust wedged the metal between his teeth and hissed.

"Shut the fuck up, or I'll use this to smash your teeth out like a goddamn window. Understand me?"

Sven nodded and quaked as Faust placed the tip of the nail against the soft, flat part of his forearm.

"Stay still. If I fuck up and hit the Radial or Ulnar artery... You could bleed out before I'm done. Gotta get it right between the bones." Faust slapped the pale skin to reveal blue veins. He pressed the nail’s tip in place and rose the hammer above his head, bringing it down and stopping short of the head as Sven shrieked.

Faust cackled. "Jesus Christ, dude. Did you really think I was gonna nail you to a chair?"

Sven groaned, relieved and moist with cold sweat. "Faust, I'm serious. Please, man. You gotta believe me."

His dark laughter continued, bouncing off the high ceilings, the wooden pews and polished floors. As Sven let out his own nervous chuckle, Faust brought the hammer down in one swift pull, then slapped his hand over Sven's gaping mouth to stifle the screams. Howling, Sven rattled his head back and forth as a searing bolt of pain tore through his right arm, crackling in his shoulder where it burned and burned.

Faust tore his phone out of his back pocket and brought up a video, slamming the screen into Sven's face. The video of him grabbing Faith in his room while he was states away watching the live feed from the camera he'd set up on the desk.

"I knew these little cameras would come in handy. See? I know what you did, you stupid fuck. And you know what else? I would have just beat the shit out of you had I not stopped by your place before our little meeting."

Sven whined, tears pouring from his eyes in steady streams.

"Oh, yeah. That's right. I went into your room... Saw some interesting things on your computer. At first, I thought it was just standard fucking creep shit. Snuff porn, torture... Teen girls. None of that surprised me... Until I dug around and found your little stalker file buried in your folders. You didn't even encrypt it. How fucking stupid are you?"

"I'm sorry," Sven shook.

"Why are you apologizing to me?"

"I'm sorry for touching her. I should have left her alone."

"What'd you think was gonna happen? That she wouldn't tell me? Or that I wouldn't believe her? And now I know you've been following Faith around, taking pictures of her, you fucking predator. And what about those other women, huh? You sorry about them, too?"

"Yes! I'm sorry. I know I have problems! I'm trying to get help. Please, Faust. If you let me go, I promise I'll do it. I'll get better. I haven’t hurt anyone!"

Faust shook his head slowly, grunting in refusal. "No. I meant what I said when I told you I'd crucify you if you went near Faith again. I'm doing the world a favour."

Sven hung his head and bled from the grievous wound pinning him to the chair, shuddering weakly from his injuries. Faust would never relent. He'd witnessed the drummer's cold disdain, the malignant hatred living inside that made him turn to the dark with open arms. Faust wasn't an actor. He pledged himself to the darkness with unyielding conviction, never one to take such things lightly. This realization depleted Sven's will to reason with the man.

Faust gripped another thick nail and drove it through Sven's left arm, smiling as blood dripped from the wood onto the church altar. The violent yelps filled Faust with morbid delight as he pressed the bloodied hammer under his victim's chin and raised his face.

"You're gonna die tonight, Sven."

"What makes you better than me? You'll be a murderer," Sven stuttered. "You hurt people, too."

"You and I are not the same. Don't ever compare yourself to me. You're a coward, and I warned you. Tread on what's mine, and I'll destroy you. That's what I said."

"All this over a girl? Are you fucking crazy!?"

Faust stooped to one knee, looking up at Sven as though the insult had cut him. Faust's brows arched, bottom lip jutting outward as he studied Sven, who closed his eyes. Then, Faust rose to his feet, leather stretching from the motion. Faust tapped his chin, smiled, and leaned over to whisper, "yes... Totally fucking crazy."

With a powerful kick to the chest, Faust sent the chair and Sven toppling backward. He then unzipped his pants, pulled out his manhood and giggled as he emptied his bladder on the weeping man. While Sven cried and moaned, Faust closed his zipper, whistling merrily. He left Sven on his back and snatched the jerrycan from the pew, taking slow, calculated steps while twisting off the cap and dousing the altar in gasoline.

As the gas trickled, Sven's desperation mounted. He could not flail, so he screamed. Faust gently reminded him what he'd do to Sven's teeth if he carried on shouting. The pinned man blubbered and begged, but Faust ignored his pleas. Inside his head, all Faust heard was the sound of flames rushing into a circle around Sven, crackling over the carpet and up the old church's wooden beams. By the time the roof caught fire, Faust had planned on being long gone.

"Please, Faust... You'll regret this! I know you're a serious person, but this is too far. You won't be able to live with yourself!"

"Wrong. I couldn't live with myself knowing I let a vulture like you walk this planet freely." Faust poured a trail down the floor runner, far away from the altar. He tossed the can aside and looked up at the Catholic saints' stained-glass portrayals and Jesus at the center of it all, staring down with sad eyes. Faust took a book of matches from his pocket and ripped one from the bunch, running its tip across the ignitor strip until a small flame burst to life. Faust flicked the match to the ground without a second thought, and the flame ate up the gasoline trail swiftly. The church was illuminated, and the colourful glass windows came to life. Faust raised his eyes to the forlorn Jesus and leered while the fire spread.

He did not stay to admire his work or revel in the cries of a man burning alive. Faust fled before the fire consumed the church, not once looking back or wondering if his victim had somehow escaped. He trudged through puddles of slush, hair swinging in the wind, white shadows of breath leaving his mouth.

It was time to get back to finish the tour. But he had one more stop to make.

~*~

Faith left the mall after helping close the book store. She received small smiles and nods from the mall staff as they locked doors and unfolded security gates. Some of the people she had spoken to before, and some she had only seen in passing. Though she returned their pleasantries, inside Faith was fretting. She tried not to worry about her boyfriend or ask where he was under strict orders to go about her day as usual.

She stepped into the evening air as the sun sank, taking the blue from the sky along for the descent. Wisps of white cloud stretched across the pink and violet above. Faith took in a deep breath and walked to the bus stop situated between a movie theatre and a dollar store. She popped her earbuds in and turned on a song that reminded her of Faust; one he wouldn’t like. His music taste had no room for the upbeat indie rock she enjoyed. Still, she smiled when the lyrics reminded her of him.

The scent of cigarette smoke caught her attention, and she looked around, finding no culprit. She wondered where the smell came from if nobody was around but soon forgot when the city bus appeared in the distance. It had to make a long trek around the parking lot before it pulled up at the movie theatre. Faith readied her bus card to scan as another cloud of smoke enveloped her senses.

Faith whirled around, and there he was, all black and leather, white teeth clutching the filter of a cigarette. Faust smiled, his words bolting from his mouth as she clamped her arms around him and crushed her face into his chest. The leather and musk brought tears to her eyes. She ripped out her earbuds and tried not to weep.

He hushed her, lifted her off the ground and retreated into the shadowed alley between the theatre and the store. By the time the bus pulled up, Faust had pressed her against the brick wall behind the building.

"Faust. Oh my gosh, where have you been? I was so worried," Faith gasped.

"Sh, don't ask questions, baby." Faust smothered her mouth, holding her thighs around his waist.

"Mm—I love you. Oh my God. I can’t believe you’re here! I love you so freaking much."

"I know you do," Faust breathed against her lips. "I love you, too, babe."

"Tell me where you've been!"

Faust shook his head and kissed her neck instead. She raked her fingers through his hair, knocking his hood down so she could see him unobstructed.

"Told you... Don't ask... Mmkay?... Stop asking... Just let me... Mm—fuck!"

Faith pulled his pelvis inward with her thighs, rubbing against his crotch and the heavy bullet belt wrapped around his hips. In their cloud of lust, Faust pushed his black jeans down just enough to free his erection.

"Fuck, I love your little skirts. Makes it so easy," Faust murmured.

The thought of Faust showing up disquieted her, but his lips on her skin and his desire thwarted these anxieties for a while. She set aside her questions, happy to have him in her arms again and overcome by arousal. When he stretched her panties aside and pushed into her, they both froze in expressions of excruciating ecstasy. Faust tilted his head back and closed his eyes, and Faith clutched his shoulders, already writhing from the intense fulfillment between her legs.

Just as she thought Faust might drop her, he bent his knees and hoisted her higher up on the wall. In his arms, she weighed close to nothing. She missed feeling tiny against him.

"Miss my cock?" He growled in her ear.

"Yes, baby. Oh my gosh, of course, I missed it. I missed my big man."

"Yeah? Fuck, I miss my little pussy," Faust breathed. "Mm, show me those gorgeous tits."

Faith unbuttoned her work polo and stretched the collar down around her breasts for Faust to bury his face. Though there wasn't an abundance of flesh to lose himself in, Faust shivered from the first taste of her nipples. With muted groans of pleasure, he rammed into her until Faith could no longer contain her cries, unaccustomed to his girth. Faust absorbed her whimpers with his mouth, coaxing her tongue until she only hummed.

He felt ferocious from the last twenty-four hours. If he could make Faith scream without drawing attention, Faust would have slammed her into the wall and fucked her until she shredded her vocal cords. He had to keep a low profile. Even visiting Faith was a considerable risk, but one he relished taking as she clamped her thighs and rutted against him.

He supported her ass in both hands and shifted off the wall to fuck her standing up. While he took her this way, she wrapped her arms around his neck and whimpered, whispering, "yes, fuck my pussy hard, big boy. Oh, I love that big cock inside me."

Faust unhooked and held her out so he could watch her breasts jiggle with every bounce. "You still taking your birth control? I'm gonna fucking bust so hard inside you, baby."

"Yeah. Yeah, baby, do it. Fill my pussy, please. I want your cum."

Her dirty talk and sweet sobs for his cock pushed him over the edge. He cradled her head as he pushed her against the wall and throbbed between her legs until empty. Faust pulled out and immediately turned her around and bent her over to watch globs of fresh cum dripping from her wet slit. He used one finger to push some of it back inside and had her suck off the rest. Afterward, he pulled up his pants and compressed her against the wall, one hand over her mouth while the other worked her clit in gentle circles. Faust didn't stop until she squealed and shuddered against him, muffled in his jacket and writhing from the manual orgasm.

When Faith calmed down, he released her and stepped away, pulling a cigarette from the squished pack in his jacket pocket. The lighter's flame created an orange halo around his face and promptly died. He smoked like nothing had happened while she fixed her skirt, buttoned her polo and zipped up her coat.

Faith smiled up at her lover, the night blotting out most of his features.

"I'm so glad you're home," she said.

"Not for long," Faust exhaled.

Her heart quivered. "Wait, what?"

"I gotta go back."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"What? No! But... You just got back," said Faith.

Faust shrugged, his leather jacket speaking for him. The evening matured, consuming the details of her hurt expression until the streetlamps along the road came to life.

"Why did you come here?"

Faust took one last long haul off his cigarette and flicked it down the alleyway. "Listen to me, Faith... You need to quit asking questions. I'm serious. The more questions you ask, the worse it'll be. And you and I did not see each other tonight. As far as you know, I'm on tour. Understand?"

"Yes," Faith said to appease him.

"I want to stay, trust me. But I can't. You know why. All the answers you want, you already have. Don't keep bugging, don't mention it ever again."

"I want to go with you," she whispered.

"No. You stay. Go to your classes, go to work, go visit your parents. Everything normal. And I don't want you moping around either. You put on that pretty smile, and you pretend for me. I'll call you in a couple of weeks before the last show and arrange a way for you to get there."

"What do you mean you’ll call in couple of weeks?" Faith whined. “What about goodnights?”

"I don't have a phone anymore."

"Why—? Oh, um... Okay. I understand."

Faust gathered the girl up in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Good girl. I love you, and I miss you."

"I love you, too."

He tipped her face up and sensed tears forming in her eyes. Faust shook his head. "No crying. We'll see each other very soon. Just a couple more weeks."

"I know," she sighed.

"I love you more than anything, Faith. Now, go catch your bus. Should be here in a few minutes."

"But what about you?"

"Don't worry about me. I'm on tour. I'm not even here," he explained.

Faust kissed her again, smoothed his hands over her shoulders and turned her to face the bus stop. He urged her along. "No looking back. Hop on the bus and go do your schoolwork."

"Okay," she said, determined to make him proud. Faith walked out of the shadows and into the lamplight hovering over the depot. Across the lot, the city bus pulled in, and though she longed to turn around to see Faust watching over her, she kept her eyes forward and waited. When the bus pulled up, and the doors drew back, she stepped onto the platform and smiled at the driver as she scanned her pass. Faith took a seat in the back and put in her earbuds. She searched through a list of bands and selected the only one whose logo was illegible. As she pressed play, she listened to the immediate assault of the drums, their constant and violent beat. Faith smiled—warm in her chest and between her legs.

[shinwhoohoo]

hello lovely person, i come to your inbox seeking solace and the permission to rant about the eternally frustrating mess that is bana twitter. i'm so infuriated by delulu ot5 stans spamming a3 asking for reunion pics w j and b and demanding that they include those 2 in the official anniversary celebrations bc j&b ""deserve" it like??? where do they get their sense of entitlement from lmao i don't get it. and really, why should a3 bear the onus of asking them to join the celebrations when the other 2 have given no indication that they wish to do so in the first place like they literally left the group and no longer associate themselves with it (and no ig bios don't count people) what's not clicking?

it honestly makes me more pissed at the 2 who left (jy in particular) bc they refuse to make a clean break. wm also had a part to play in it ofc bc they didn't release an unequivocal statement about their departure from the group (altho they did say b1a4 will only be promoting as 3 going forward so idk how anyone misinterpret it) but what irks me is that jy never really acknowledged the fact that he left (at least baro wrote a nice letter thanking bana and a3). he keeps stringing his fans along by making empty promises about future reunions and!!!i hate that he won't change his ig bio or twitter header and whatever else it is that convinces people that "his heart lies w b1a4". i hate that he does all this but a3 still have to bear the brunt of the criticism from their fandom even tho they've been working their asses off to give us quality music (jinthoven who, producer cnu owns my heart now) and wholesome content (how precious was b1a4 arcade) to make up for their perceived sins against bana.

sorry this spiralled out of control, haven't used my tumblr in ages but i feel like migrating back bc bana twt is bad for my blood pressure. hope you have a nice day!

Two things real quick:

1. You always have permission to rant here to please do so whenever you feel like it~!! 😁 2. PLEASE COME BACK TO TUMBLR WE NEED YOU BACK IT’S SO MUCH NICER AS A BANA PLEASE 🙏

Ok now that that’s out of the way lol, wow 10/10, 💯, like god I really have nothing else to even add? Perfect rant, perfect points, all completely 100% factual points, that some people just don’t seem to like to address or acknowledge in their ‘OT5′ comments. But the thing is, all of this is true!!

What bothers me the most about the whole OT3/OT5 argument basically comes down to two points:

1. Those spewing OT5 Forever on their personal accounts is one thing. I’ve always said everyone is entitled to their own feelings about this, and I can respect we have our differences. However, going to A3′s accounts, to their VLive, and commenting and spamming posts about Baro and Jinyoung and ‘Oh, What does THIS MEAN that Jinyoung posted to the B1A4 VLIVE?? What DOES IT MEAN that Baro posted a pic holding a BANA CUP?!!? I MISS B1A4 AS FIVE’ and it’s like... let’s actually take a breath. Jinyoung’s incident was obviously a mistake, one that he hasn’t even addressed. Baro admittedly has liked a few B1A4 posts here and there, with this most recent insta upload the most ‘vocal’ he’s been regarding B1A4. But does it mean they are going to magically appear for the 10th anniversary? Not at all. There is absolutely no connection between these events. And to try and make such a connection is clearly going out of your way to try and create something that isn’t there because you want it to happen. Not because you are looking at the facts and the comments that the members who are actually, actively in B1A4 have made, but because you are overlooking what they have said, and what WM Ent has said, to fit your agenda. And to go and post these wishes and hopes on their official accounts, or even worse, Shindeulchan’s personal social media accounts, especially given how THEY expressed how they felt about the split, well damn. I think that’s cruel tbh. But yet we’re the nasty ones for not acknowledging bayoung...

2. ... which brings me to the other main point that irks me. Just because I am not currently an ‘OT5′ fanatic, again, given what we KNOW TO BE TRUE!!! (Basically most of which you’ve already listed-- WM’s statement of B1A4 continuing AS THREE, Sandeul and CNU’s comments and feelings they have made on guest show appearances, their fanmeet, the B1A4 Documentary+, etc., not to mention Baro’s statement, and even Jinyoung’s, which mentions about looking forward into the future if they should all come back again, in addition to the dead silence Jinyoung has been about bipo since then) but just because some of us aren’t ‘OT5′ given all that, DOESN’T MEAN WE’RE AGAINST BARO OR JINYOUNG!! like that pisses me off so much, this ‘divide’ that is being made... It’s like no, I just respect the feelings of the members who are actually here more so than wishing for something to happen that isn’t going to any time soon, like sorry that upsets you. And guess what, I still will always adore Baro and Jinyoung. I still wish the best for them. And if/when the time comes that they want to come back, and A3 accepts them back (because again, it’s up to THEM, not the ‘OT5′ fans!!) I will 100% be happy and grateful to see B1A4 as five. But until then, I will support Baro and Jinyoung in their solo efforts, and B1A4 as three, for all that they do and have done to make the transition from 5 to 3 easier for us.

lmao I love how I’m like ‘oh your ask was great I have nothing to say’ then go and write an essay. Well, I am nothing if not on brand with my word vomit.

Thanks for this anon, as you can tell it lit a fire under my ass lol. I don’t think I’ve been this vocal about it all in a while~

[normal-thoughts-official]

i'm not trans but i want to write trans magnus, what are ig the dos and don'ts? (only if you dont mind <3)

i don't mind! happy to reply to those. altho i'll be real, there's a lot of stuff, so it's a bit hard, which is why i'd say that my first tip is to have a sensitivity reader (even better if it's multiple). i even offer to do that, more trans magnus content is what i want! so i'd tell you to consider that

i'm going to make a list, but i ask you that first of all, you try to understand the reasons why i'm saying what i'm saying (i'm trying to outline them as clearly as possible) instead of just taking it as a checklist of what you're supposed to write or not. the most important thing is that you understand why certain things are/can be harmful, and approach them accordingly. there is rarely ever going to be a rule like "EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU DO THIS THAT'S TRANSPHOBIC". it depends a lot on the story and how you do it

(sidenote: of course there are things that ARE always transphobic, like using men in dresses as the butt of a joke. but that's not the case for most things, and I hope this kind of very obviously transphobic trope is already understood to not be a good thing doiajdsoija)

other than that, i think the first things that come to mind are the following (i'll try to have more do's than don't's cuz i feel like giving you a path to follow is more helpful than paths NOT to):

DO research about transphobic tropes in media and make sure you understand why they are harmful. that's a great way to avoid the most glaringly obvious Bad Takes™

DO try to understand your character's identity as much as you can. are they a trans man/woman? are they nonbinary? if they are nonbinary, what do they identify with? you don't have to have a fully fleshed out identity, but at least know whether they lean more towards neutral, fluid, multiple gendered, outside of the gender binary, etc. if you want a culturally specific gender, KNOW WHICH ONE. have details. and do your research on that. i don't recommend doing that if you don't know exactly what you're talking about

DO try to incorporate the character being trans into your understanding of their backstory. did they have help from their community? what was that like? how did that influence other parts of their story? when did they realize and when did they come out? being trans is going to have an impact on a person's story, so the more you know about that, the more you can build a character that feels real, not a cis person with "trans" slapped on their forehead

however, DON'T have their entire backstory and life be about them being trans. that's not how it works with anyone. you want to understand how being trans intersects with their life, not reduce everything about them to being trans. your goal here should be to incorporate the aspects that are related to that person being trans and the ones that are not into one thing that feels cohesive, because that how it works

DO wait until it's pertinent to mention the fact that your character is trans. it's kind of *sigh* when the fic starts like "Magnus Bane (who is trans) was buying groceries". that feels like what i just mentioned in the last don't: everything revolves around him being trans. you don't want that. if it only comes up halfway through the fic, then it only comes up halfway through the fic. i actually think that's kinda rad because it really normalizes a character being trans, but it all depends on what the rest of the story is like

DO approach their transness like any other element in the story. if it's a light-hearted story, you don't have to approach their transness from an angsty perspective. that doesn't even necessarily mean u can't approach transphobia as a topic, but it's just weird when the whole fic is happy and upbeat and then suddenly there's an on-screen transphobic microaggression and the person is very sad, and then back to upbeat. if you really want to broach this topic on your light-hearted fic, you can do it in ways such as "*flops down on the couch* god, i'm exhausted. some asshat tried to pick up a fight with me today" you know? again, i'm not saying "don't talk about X or Y subject", you just don't want the tone to be completely different from the rest of your story. it feels not only like his transness is out of place (which alienates the reader) but also like just... bad writing, i guess you don't have to take that as an absolute rule, just... as with anything else you're writing, make sure that it fits the story you're telling. if it's gonna have a different tone when u mention something, know why and how you want to do it

DON'T feel obligated to approach every aspect of their identity/backstory/everything they face as a trans person. it's good that you, the author, know it, so you can even know what is or isn't important to mention. but you don't have to give the reader a whole exposé on his transness. approach what's relevant

DO include them making jokes, puns about being trans, having other trans friends, etc. it just feels more real and we do all that all the time. it's just unrealistic for a trans person to hear the word "transparent" and not crack a joke (with people they feel safe with, of course)

when you do mention them being trans, please DON'T treat it like a big deal. when the whole narrative stops so you can mention that a character is trans, it just feels like their transness is a spectacle for a cis reader. similarly, if the reader can tell that their reaction is supposed to be like "*gasp!*" it just feels like trans people aren't supposed to be seen as normal. i'm talking specifically about how the narrative treats it here, not necessarily what happens in the story. you could have a scene where the character comes out, for example, and then of course this is going to be a big deal for them. but there's that, and then there is "magnus bane put on his binder. that's right, hE IS TRANS!". a trope i wouldn't call harmful but that i particularly hate and turns me immediatelly off any story, particularly, is the thing where the character is like "I put on my binder, getting ready for school. I am trans, and anyone who has a problem with it can fight me". no one thinks about how they are trans every time they do anything that's related to their transition. that'd be exhausting. you don't brush your teeth and are like "that's right. MY TEETH NEED CLEANING! i want to avoid caries, because i am human and that might happen"

DO try to think of every element of how they express their transness in relation to that character. you don't have to outline the reasons in the story (that'd be exhausting) but don't just go "well, magnus is trans, therefore he wears a binder and a packer, wants surgery, and [list of Transmasculine Traits™]". WOULD magnus want a binder? WOULD he want a packer? remember that those things are all choices, not a checklist that determine whether or not you're trans. each trans person is an individual, and thus each trans person's relationship with their transness and how they express it is different. so treat your character as such

DON'T make him being trans something that is only used for sad things!!!!!! again, i'm not saying "you can't approach transphobia", but if him being trans only comes up when it's to bring Bad Things His Way, it just feels like being trans = bad for you. know what i mean? try to mention it in neutral or positive ways more than you do in negative ways. a few things that i think are positive: you get to choose your own name, you get to rethink every bit of how you want to express yourself instead of just following a script, you get a lot of friends who Get It, you have the jokes about all the guys named Skylar, the flag is cute, transitioning feels so good! every new thing is a discovery. coming out as trans and transitioning is very liberating, it feels like you are so much more real. sex feels a lot less like a scripted ordeal when you have a completely different relationship with your body, i feel like trans ppl naturally communicate a lot more about sex and explore a lot more of different ways to touch their bodies even when they don't necessarily have genital dysphoria. the puns and jokes are also a nice bonus. the slang is so fucking funny. you learn a lot about your body and hormones and the such just from having friends who hormonize and looked up every detail. as for neutral things, just being like "magnus put on his binder" is a neutral thing. it's just a part of his life! when you only remember that a character is trans because they are going through violence, it just makes people scared of being trans

and i guess those are the most important pointers? just, don't make trans identity a whump thing and remember that not every trans person is the same, build that character just like you do any other. if anyone wants to add more stuff, feel free to! i have a tendency to forget to mention or explain certain things (like "don't make trans ppl the butt of a joke") because to me they are obvious and i forget that they aren't obvious outside of trans circles. i have very few cis friends (that's something that makes a difference too) so ya know. diajsda

another tip i think can be helpful is, if you're uncertain whether or not something sounds natural, try to imagine that instead of talking about a trans character, you're talking about a person who wants to be a mechanic. when you're building a character who wants to be a mechanic, that can be part of a super angsty backstory about how they lost their parents in a car crash due to a car malfuction... or not. it can have relevance to a certain point of the story, or not. it can fit naturally into this part, or it can feel like you just really want the reader to know that the person wants to be a mechanic. it can be integral to the plot, or it can be just another thing about that character. you know? that sounds kinda lame, but i think it's a good way to try to think about what you're writing without all the pre-conceptions and pressure not to Fuck Up Your Representation. idk, something to try out and consider whether or not works for you

if you have any questions, let me know! and ask other trans ppl about their perspectives too, i'm just one person. if you want a sensitivity reader, i'd really be super happy to help :) just DM me, or whatever you feel more comfortable with

[empanther]

SHIPPING INFO   //   answer  the  following  for  your  muse(s)  so  people  know  how  shipping  works  on  your blog.  REPOST.  DON’T  reblog.

1.   WHAT’S  YOUR  OTP  FOR  YOUR  MUSE? :

i wouldn’t say i have a definitive OTP for ann? at least not in the sense that i vastly prefer her with one character over others because i honestly believe she has considerable potential with a lot of the persona 5 ( young adult ) cast!

however, i won’t deny that there are some pairings i feel more strongly towards than others and those would be ( in no particular order )! :

   – makoto & ann / ann & haru / makoto & ann & haru : i adore these three ( and the entire female cast of p5 too lbr ), both individually and collectively and not exclusively in a romantic context. these three complement one another as duos and as a cumulative trio and anytime i see any content for them, you can bet i’m smashing that motherhecking like button    – ryuji & ann : that animated cut sequence at the conclusion of the seventh palace. u kno which one i’m talking about. yea. that one. that is all. ( ok but in all seriousness there’s so much subtext hinting at them i love them ) –   akechi & ann : this is probably the one that’d elicit the most hate and out of the interest for my safety i shall refrain from elaborating on the reason for this ship here : ‘ ) – ann & girls : ain’t no way in heck she’s straight ( hint: she’s bi ) – me & @burntofight : ilu

2.   WHAT  ARE  YOU  WILLING  TO  RP  WHEN  IT  COMES  TO  SHIPPING? 

this is such a broad question     ummm………….. whatever constitutes the standard ( with the exception of nsfw / heavily grim content ), i suppose? ( i was going to elaborate on what i define as ‘nsfw’ but there’s a question for that later on so i’ll expound there! )

3.   HOW  LARGE  DOES  THE  AGE  GAP  HAVE  TO  BE  TO  MAKE  IT  UNCOMFORTABLE? :

since this is a v sensitive and complicated topic and i have no interest in inciting or participating in discourse, i’ll limit the scope of this question to ann and ann alone.

ann is canonically 16 and ( while emotionally mature for someone her age ) she—as i understand and interpret her—would not, at time the game takes place, date someone older than her by 2 years ( i.e. older than 18 ) or younger than her by 1 year ( i.e. younger than 15 ). given her young age in her canon material, this would invariably change as she grew older, such that by the time she’s in her early 30s she’d be comfortable dating up to 5 years older / 3 years younger. ( please be aware that is based on my understanding of ann and is applicable only in relation to my interpretation of her. ) 

4.   ARE  YOU  SELECTIVE  WHEN  SHIPPING? :

not really! especially when it comes to roleplaying female characters as they so seldom get enough appreciation OOCly that i’m more than amenable to the concept of romantic interest / interaction as compensation for the convention of the fandom’s mistreatment / negligence of them. as long as there’s chemistry between the characters and the muns are in mutual agreement about roleplaying in that context, the idea delights me!

5.   HOW  FAR  DO  STEAMY  MOMENTS  HAVE  TO  GO  BEFORE  THEY’RE  CONSIDERED  NSFW? :

hfakshdas i said i was going to elaborate here but i’m embarrassed……………… AHEM ok! honestly nsfw content of a sexual nature is almost nonexistent across all my blogs regardless of whether the muse in question is a minor or not simply because i’m v awkward w the topic.

as a rule of thumb as to what i’ll tag as nsfw: anything that is more sexual in nature than kissing without tongue; if kissing involves tongue, it’ll be tagged as #nsfw cw / #nsfw ish cw (altho regardless of the intensity of the kiss i’ll still tag it as kissing & pda)

as for the specifics of the extent of nsfw that has the potential to appear on this blog:    – in verses in which ann ( or any of my muses ) is under or around the age 18: anything beyond intense kissing would be considered too nsfw for me to feel comfortable writing and i’d either stop there or have the thread “fade to black”    – in verses in which ann ( or any of my muses ) is an adult [ 20+ ]: anything beyond intense kissing / caressing of the body above the belly button and beneath mid-thigh / removal of shirts and/or pants ( undergarments remain on ) would be considered too nsfw for me to feel comfortable writing and i’d either stop there or have the thread “fade to black”

6.   WHO  ARE  OTHER  MUSES  YOU  SHIP  YOUR  MUSE  WITH? :

wait wha i thought i answered this question unless it means specific blogs??? in which case i owe my fervent frankness abt p5 girl gays to my gaylord and gayvior @shogitogo ( hifumi ) / @okxmura ( haru )  +  @freefound’s ryuji is my forever best boy  +  @queenedme could run over me w johanna and i’d thank them and their makoto +  both ann and i would lay down our lives for @burntofight’s sakura ( & their yuri & their evrae & their kamui——& theo gets an honorary mention bc he’s a Good )

7.   DOES  ONE  HAVE  TO  ASK  TO  SHIP  WITH  YOU? :

if you want to have our muses start out in a romantic relationship — yes! i like to communicate with the mun of whomever i’m shipping with so communication is a must! otherwise — nope! it would be nice but it’s not a requirement, especially if we have a thread or have interacted numerous times and you’d like to further their relationship in a romantic context.

however, if i a reblog a meme that implies / entails romance, anyone is free to send something in, even if we’ve yet to interact!

8.   HOW  OFTEN  DO  YOU  LIKE  TO  SHIP? :

it’s definitely not a priority and seldom ( if ever ) do i initiate interaction with the intent of romance. tl;dr: if it happens, it happens!

 9.   ARE  YOU  SHIP  OBSESSED  OR  SHIP  MORE - OR - LESS? :

i…………… don’t know what this means……………… but like i said in the previous question, shipping is not a priority of mine; however if we have agreed to ship then odds are i’m super enthusiastic abt it and would love to talk about them / their dynamic ( on this same note, if i ever become too overbearing, please don’t hesitate to tell me to heck off bc i absolutely understand and would never take offense to your doing so! )

10.   ARE  YOU  MULTISHIP? :

i should probably put this in my rules too but i’m multiship + ship exclusive meaning that i’m open to shipping w numerous different characters but won’t ship with another blog of the same character!

11.   WHAT  IS  ( ARE )  YOUR  FAVORITE  SHIP  (S)  IN  YOUR  CURRENT  FANDOM? :

i……………………. ………am i answering these questions incorrectly i feel like i am bc i thought i already answered this ( see question 1! )

12.   FINALLY,  HOW  DOES  ONE  SHIP  WITH  YOU?:

just approach me about it! ( even tho i can’t understand y u would ever want to )

tagged by: the swexy @burntofight​ tagging: any sorry soul that put themselves through the entirely optional torture of actually reading my response to this thing ( feel free to tag me! )

[a-s-levynn]

For the gaming ask, 10, 27, and 30 if thats okay? I hope you have a good day!

Hey there Anon! Hope you have a nice day and sorry for the delayed answer. Thank you for taking your time and dropping by! 💞 And of course it’s okay!! More than okay! Even if i don’t do it that often here, i love talking about games. Please ask as many as you feel like.

I’ll put it under a cut because it got long.

The questions were: Which character/s do you have a crush on? Favourite song / theme from the game? Guilty pleasure game / character?

10. Which character/s do you have a crush on? Crush? I'm not sure. I don't really have crushes, especially on fictional characters. I'm either too rational for it or just don't care that way, i think? Maybe? I don’t know. I mean i like a few characters quite a lot but not exactly in the i-have-a-crush-on-them kind of way, more like either shit-i’m-like-that or the fuck-i-want-to-be-like-that, i guess? But i don’t know. Never realyl though about this. Oh wait no. Isabela from DA2. I was 17 when the game came out. No further explanation required.

27. Favourite song / theme from the game? I assume this is just in general because you haven't specified any games so get ready, i love music in games just as much i do outside of them and i'm unable to choose but i try to be relatively brief.

Devil trigger from DMC5 is going to be up there for me for ever. That songs just slaps. But it would be a disservice to not mention the Watch Dogs games. I mean come on. All three had such a great selection of music and soundtrack (Defalt's themes especially) but my favourite moment was with WD2. When i booted it up for the first time, i stole the first car and the first song was Reservoir. That decided than an there that this is going to be a good game. I have fond memories tied to that song irl, so i'm always happy to hear it. Altho WDL has In the Night, Light up the Sky, also Mantra sooo.. But i have to also put here Pillars of Eternity 1 and 2, the Mass Effect games, because obviously. Also WoW has amazing soundtracks, Dragon Age too.. the Witcher games, for sure.. Diablo 3 (especially the reaper of souls xpack)... Oh and Kena Bridge of Spirits! It has such beautiful music. Assassin's Creed games have some memorable soundtracks too. Heartstone's expansion songs, especially One night in Karazhan. And because of the epic games free thingy i finally checked out Vampyr and yeah the game has problems, i'm pissed off half the time but the music is spot on.

Okay i probaly could list like a 100 games if my brain wouldn’t be blanking on me as per usual, because i actively listen to video game soundtracks quite often.

But if i have to single out an instrumental song written for a game, that i could never get out of my head is from Pillars of Eternity. It’s Burial Isle in the first and also plays on Poko Kohara in Deadfire (this version is even better but nowhere to be found). Boy that is just.. words. Just take a listen: Burial Isle - PoE

30. Guilty pleasure game / character? I don't think i have one. Not because i don't like things that in general considered painfully cringy but because i just try to own that shit more and more as i get older. I like it, it makes me happy, doesn't hurt anyone so why not? Also i don't really give a shit what other's opinions are of me anyway, not that the general consensus on me would be positive ( both online and irl included) outside like maybe.. 4 of my followers? So whatever. But what could fall into the general "guilty pleasure" category.. I mean just to stay with the obvious, Wrench could be considered pretty fucking cringy. I mean he is literally a walking clishé (i mean who isn't in WD really, especialy in 2, that was the whole point there..) but i love him to bits (obviously). Kael'thas from WoW maybe? (Strictly before the shadowlands rewrite. Yes that happend, he was quite different before that. No i don't take arguments about it.) And who else? Oh boy i don't really have any idea what could be considered guilty pleasure nowdays 🤦‍♂️ Reaper from OW maybe?

And as for guilty pleasure/cringy games? Maybe Goat simuator or Crab game fits the bill? But who cares, they are funny as shit.

But with this whole guilty pleasure thing.. i’m so lost because it is incredibly subjective and determied by public/fandom opinion, what your immediate friendgroup’s consensus is on things, etc. And i’m not active part of any gamefandom right now, my current friends are extremely great and either like the same crap as me or just don’t give a shit plain and simple, because no harm is done.