#alternative version of Liam

[ravendruid]

Taliesin looks so good!!!

[brookiedaaroacecookie]

Human Uzi art for my upcoming Murder Drones Human AU!

[themultifanshipper]

This is my main Masterlist

You can also check out my WIP Masterlist, series masterlist , GIF Blurbs, Halloween Event masterlist, and Prompt list

Warning: these are all smut, see bottom of post for notes and answers to asks/thoughts.

Lando Norris

Landoscar Masterlist (x other people)

More to love - Plussize!reader ~ 1.1k

Bend over - gn!reader ~ 0.6k (pt2) ~0.7k

Always the quiet ones - innocent!reader ~1.5k

Logan needs some love - Loscar x reader ft. Lando ~ 3.5k

How to tame your brat ~ 3.4k

The Hilton cuck chair - Lando x reader ft Max F ~2.1k

Post F175 - blurb

Max Verstappen

Make the boy jealous ~ 1.3k

S(t)imulation racing ~ 1.6k

Hospital blues - driver!reader ~ 1k

Option two - Max x franco x reader ~ 3.7k

The one ~ 2.2k

Charles Leclerc

Post Race sex (with a twist) - gn!reader ~0.3k

You speak french ??? - gn!reader engineer!reader french!reader~ 1.5k

Making headlines - journalist!reader ~ 2.8k

"It is I, Leclerc" - ferrari!wife!reader ~ 1k

More than friends - driver!reader x Charlos ~ 4.8k

Perverts - OnlyFans!reader ~ 4.4k

Meanwhile at Ferrari - teammate!reader ~ 1.3k

Daddies - Charlos x reader ~ 2.2k

Liam Lawson

I hate you (Liam's version) - gn!reader ~ 1.6k

Idiots - lawsunoda ~ 4.5k

George Russell

The Mean!Liam saga is in -> #mean!liam

Love at first fuck ~0.7k

The problem with George - Galex+Lily ~ 2k

Familiar voice - raceengineer!reader ~ 1.4k

Make you a mother ~ 1.6k

Compensating ~ 1.4k

Oscar Piastri

Landoscar Masterlist

She's the best - loscalex x reader ~1.9k

Good Friend ~ 1.2k

Rivalry is the best aphrodisiac ~ 2k

Take it out on my puss me ~ 1.6k

The video ~ 1.3k

Too tired to get naked - gn!driver!reader ~ 0.7k

Logan needs some love - Loscar x reader ft. Lando ~ 3.5k

Hidden depravity -innocent!reader ~1.9k part2

Stress relief - Loscar x reader ~ 0.7k

I hate you (Oscar's version) - ex!reader ~ 3k

Perfect to me - pregnant!reader ~ 1.3k

Punishment - Carcar ~ 2k

Golf lessons - Carcar ~ 2.7k

Mr Army Man - Military!Oscar & reader ~ 3.6k

Aussie kisses - Daniel x Oscar x reader ~ 3.1k

Fernando Alonso

Giving head - gn!reader ~ 0.420k

Something in the air that night ~ 2k

Carlos Sainz

Podium celebration - carlandoscar x reader ~0.8k

Not in the mood ~ 2k

The untitled foursome - Carlos x Oscar x Lando x reader ~ 2.3k

More than friends - driver!reader x Charlos ~ 4.8k

Punishment - Carcar ~ 2k

Golf Lessons - Carcar ~ 2.6k

Daddies - Charlos x reader ~ 2.2k

Jealous of the twink - Carlos x Franco x Nano x reader ~ 4.1k

Logan Sargeant

What are friends for? ~ 1.5k

Logan's Miami blues gn!reader ~ 0.4k

Logan needs some love - Loscar x reader ft. Lando ~ 3.5k

She's the best - loscalex x reader ~ 1.9k

Stress relief - Loscar x reader ~ 0.7k

Yuki Tsunoda

Anniversary dinner ~ 1.3k

Insatiable - Nyukierre ~ 1.6k

Idiots - lawsunoda ~ 4.5k

Alex Albon

She's the best - loscalex x reader ~1.9k

The hitman and the spy ~ 2.4k

The problem with George - Galex+Lily ~ 2k

Sebastian Vettel

Never say 'no' to a good blowie - ft. Mark, Kimi & Charles ~ 5.5k

I hate you (Sebastian's version) ~ 1.4k

I love hate you (alternate version) ~ 1.9k

Brother's best friend - Button!reader ~ 2.5k

Two for the price of one - Seb & Jenson x Webber!reader ~ 1.9k

Daniel Ricciardo

I hate you (Danny's version) - Verstappen!reader ~ 2.6k

Aussie kisses - Daniel x Oscar x reader ~ 3.1k

Ollie Bearman

All tied up ~ 1.1k

A Better Offer - Ollie x Franco x reader ~ 4.2k

Pierre Gasly

Insatiable - Nyukierre ~1.6k

Franco Colapinto

We should be lovers instead ~ 1.2k

Never Have I Ever ~ 3.3k

The princess and the twinks ~ Norapinto x reader ~ 1.7k

Option two - Franco x Max x reader ~ 3.7k

A Better Offer - Franco x Ollie x reader ~ 4.2k

Jealous of the twink - Carlos x Franco x Nano x reader ~ 4.1k

Other drivers:

•Jenson Button - The PR nightmare ~ 2.9k

•Jenson Button - Pretty fit for an old man ~ 2.7k

•Jenson Button - What happens at Le Mans (coming soon)

• Nico Rosberg - Petty (nico x reader and Lewis is... there) ~1.8k

Thoughts/asks:

-> George is a boob man, pass it on

-> Oscar needs to get fucked until he cries

-> Writing an explicit song about your bf

-> Using his wealth to have fun wherever you want

-> Are they service tops/doms?

-> more top/bottom discourse

-> Cuddles and kisses with needy Oscar

-> Liam being mean (various drabbles)

Notes:

-> Max x Yuki (part of the mean Liam AU)

See my rules for requesting in the wip masterlist

Even though my reader characters usually have vaginas, I do my best to not gender them so anyone can read them (I also never talk about weight, height or skin colour).

I also have a few actual gender neutral works that are clearly marked above, or you can look for them in the tag # gn reader :)

Also I don't use names or Y/N or anything bc i hate writing with that even though i don't mind reading it (idk i'm weird like that)

[allwaswell16]

A One Direction fic rec of soulmate fics that are hidden gems as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

💕 De amore ex tempore by @persephoneflouwers

(M, 101k, historical) the Time Travel AU where alternate versions of themselves live simultaneously in different realities and their paths collide every time, until somehow, they converge into one.

💕 I'm Praying (that you don't burn out or fade away) by @lululawrence

(NR, 75k, soul stars) Harry and Louis are literal stars who have known they were soulmates from their creation eons ago, however when Louis came to Earth to start the next phase of their fated future, he forgot everything. Even Harry.

💕 You, Who Never Arrived by abrighteryellow / @a-brighter-yellow

(T, 42k, 90s au) Louis Tomlinson is days away from marrying a perfectly nice podiatrist when he gets a phone call that changes everything. Or, the Only You AU in which Louis has a soulmate and it's definitely not Harry Styles.

💕 i got a heart (but i don't got a soul) by tempolarriefics / @tempolarriefix

(NR, 19k, famous/not famous) the one where louis sells his soul before meeting his soulmate, harry is a popstar with a heart of gold, niall is inadvertently responsible for harry's boners, liam is a meddling angel, and zayn is a demon who made a mistake

💕 The Journal by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou , RecycledStardust

(G, 13k, magic) When Harry finds himself purchasing an antique journal in the ancient bookshop of a town he's never heard of, he doesn't exactly want to admit that he has no idea how he got there.

💕 Swimming Against the Tide by @neondiamond

(G, 9k, enemies to lovers) Louis and Harry are rival competitive swimmers who kinda hate each other. Turns out they’re also soulmates.

💕 You Can See It with the Lights Out by @larryatendoftheday

(M, 8k, canon) In a universe where you know as soon as you meet your soulmate, Harry's been shaking hands his whole career, waiting for the one.

💕 Crimson Clover by babyhoneyhslt / @babyhoneyheslt

(T, 5k, historical) Harry and Louis are soulmates, but one is already promised to another. When their plan to flee is discovered and they are separated, Harry falls gravely ill.

💕 Oh, what a world, and then there is you by LaDiDah

(T, 5k, historical) Harry and Louis have met many times before, in many different universes. Soulmates always find each other.

💕 Can't Imagine You Without The Same Smile In Your Eyes by galactic_larry / @galacticlarry

(T, 4k, uni) It’s been over a week since Harry’s first semester at university began, and he has had zero new exciting friendships or noteworthy experiences, just a bizarre dream that keeps waking him up in the middle of the night.

💕 Louis and the no good, very bad day by @haztobegood

(E, 4k, soulmate goose) Louis collapses back into the bed with a groan. Just when he thought his day couldn’t get any worse, there’s a fucking goose stuck on his balcony.

💕 Falling by @reminiscingintherain

(T, 4k, soulmarks) Based off the prompt:  you’re my soulmate and I know we’d have a happy ever after but you’re my best friends ex and if I dated you they’d never speak to me again and I don’t know what to do

💕 That’s the way love goes by bella28 

(T, 4k, soulmate goose) In a world, where soulmate geese are sent to the people who can't figure out who their soulmate is, Harry finds himself stuck with a goose when he is attending a concert of his favourite artist Louis Tomlinson.

💕 Bitter Soulmates Series by theweightofmywords / @lil0

(T, 4k, angst) They had never met, but he didn’t think there was anyone in the world he missed more.

💕 So Paris When We Kiss by cherrylarry / @beelou

(G, 4k, exes) There’s a travel website open that he certainly did not open himself. Niall has been trying to get him to Paris ever since he got his mark. There’s not any particular reason why he hasn’t gone, it just never felt like the right time. 

💕 What’s in a Name by @hellolovers13

(T, 2k, friends to lovers) Louis had always known Harry was his soulmate. The name on his arm disagreed.

💕 emotions won’t grow by localopa / @voulezloux

(G, 1k, angst with a happy ending) so, you’re the unfortunate soul stuck with me

- Rare Pairs -

💕 neither wanting more, neither asking why (series) by @justanothershadeofblue

(E, 40k, ot5) For Louis Tomlinson, there's nothing that compares with getting his soulmark and meeting his soulmate. Nothing that he could imagine that ever could.

💕 I Saw Several Angels in the Self Help Section by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(G, 3k, ot5) Zayn and Louis are soulmates. They're also missing some soulmates. For extra flavour, it's Christmas.

[teecupangel]

Been holding a thought on my brain for too long abt putting Desmond in Situations: have you watched Dimension 20's The Unsleeping City? At least s1. Bc 1) watch it, it's so good & 2) I specifically in this situation think abt Bad Weather being the normal version of the bar in Broadway that Kingston & Misty go to. Pre-canon Desmond seeing past the Umbral Arcana & getting involved in magic shenanigans..... Yeah.

You know his latent Eagle Vision is peeling out & seeing the magic shit happening in New York City. You KNOWWWWW. Please tell me one of your followers has been thinking this too.

I have good news for you, nonny, because I have just started watching Dimension 20 this year but I am a slow watcher so I’ve only gotten as far as the first 3 episodes of Unsleeping City season 2 (atm, I think my fav D20 moment is with the Bad Kids’ “Spring Break, I believe in you!” XD). I’m one of those few people who’s pathway to D&D and TTRPG is Oxventure→No Rolls Barred/Chaotic Neutral→Mystery Quest so I am absolutely late to the party XD

Anyway, for this one, we need to do a bit of housekeeping.

I’m basing this on the title of the opening theme New York 2006 because I think that’s the year Season 1 was set (feel free to correct me though)

This means that Desmond would be 19 at that point and we can push it that he’s already working in Bad Weather.

Now, I like the idea that Bad Weather is the normal version of the bar that Kingston and Misty goes to but, may I suggest an alternative?

An earlier possible way to add Desmond to all these shenanigans is to make Bad Weather one of the bars Sofia and Kugrash go to for their ‘hairy baby free drinks scam’.

Towards the end, maybe the last bar they go to, Desmond walks up to Sofia and requested that they leave because the big rat pet she had would make other customers uncomfortable.

Sofia and Kugrash are already drunk at this moment but they hear Desmond call Kugrash a rat and are like “you can see him???”.

Kugrash immediately remembers Desmond as one of the homeless kids he helped when Desmond first moved into the city and had clocked him as ‘strange’ because there was something about him that felt... not exactly magical but almost magical-adjacent.

This ends with Sofia and Kugrash inviting Desmond to their new party as a recruit (with Sofia thinking both (1) this boy needs someone in his life to take care of him and now I’m trying not to cry because my cheating (as far as she knows) husband and I never had kids and (2) maybe he and Pete can get along as newbies with me)

And that is how our Intrepid Heroes managed to recruit an Assassin Rogue who may or may not multiclass to Gloom Stalker in a different playstyle to Liam Wilhelmina.

.

Unorganized Notes:

This is a Desmond who doesn’t know about his destiny or his ancestors but his training on the Farm is so ingrained into him that it makes him a Rogue.

Because of his lack of knowledge, we can argue that he could turn into a Thief Rogue instead of Assassin in this one because he had never assassinated anyone before.

In terms of playstyle, he’d actually be more a close combat attacker that uses some kind of switchknife with sneak attack being part of 'bonus action: hide -> main action: sneak attack')

Another suggestion I have is for Desmond to subclass as Phantom, more because of ‘Whisper of the Dead’ where every short or long rest, he can gain one skill or tool proficiency and the flavor text describes it as one of the ghostly presence shares its knowledge to the user. Desmond has no idea what this means because this is pre-canon but this is actually his ancestors managing to create a link to him in some form thanks to the Umbral Arcana mixing with his ‘destiny’.

If you want Desmond to be given the illusion of choice and not be a Rogue, we can make him a Warlock ‘worshiping’ an unknown Fathomless. In this setup, they don’t know who Desmond’s patron is and Desmond himself just shrugs because he can do magic so that’s nice. Part of his deal is that he receives messages from his patron in the form of texts on his phone. They all come from an unknown number he can’t call and the texts are always like ‘The Scholar is pleased with your desire to learn about the history of this place’ or ‘The Prophet is worried of your health and asks that you requests your companions for a rest’ or ‘The Hunter suggests you still find a weapon even if you are using magic’ and this is some weird shit even for Kingston because it seems like Desmond has multiple patrons or maybe even an entire pantheon of unknown gods/beings.

Abstergo is going to be so fucked in this one because, by the time they try to kidnap Desmond, he’d probably be around level 10~12 and maybe even living with Pete in his apartment.

And yes. Desmond absolutely knows Ricky as Mister March as well XD

[soullessseraphim]

It's about sending a message

Liam parading with his troupes in the realms to make it clear he's not fucking around

I finally finished this thing holey moley ; it looks pretty wacky,,, I still am not an expert on perspective and backgrounds or how to put characters in backgrounds,,,, so liike its still a little wacky, I still am trying to figure out how rendering is supposed to look,,, and either way,,, enjoy !!!

Here are a few wips and an alternative version :

^ DISCLAIMER : YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE / DOWNLOAD ANY OF THESE v

[neptunescore]

Click for better quality<3 | Request Rules!

-> please like/reblog/give credits if used in any way!

•Liam + Alex header requested and made for @finn95o, I hope you like it!! (Gifs used are from @tyrannosaurus-maxy and @princemick)

Alternate version bc I thought the name plates looked a little plain:

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, today we have the fifth part to our college/university rec list. If you'd like to check out the first several parts, you can find part one here, part two here, part three here, and part four here. Please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) I Can't Get You Off My Mind (I Still Crave It) | Mature | 4,531 words

"You're an idiot," It was Lya's time to interrupt. "Why would you want another guy when you already have yours? Don't you ever get tired of those silly games?" "It is different!," Louis defended himself again, mouth open. "How come it is different?," Lya asked again. "I love Harry," it was easy like breathing. "He's the love of my life, I'm going to marry him," Louis looked around, until his eyes looked with Harry's, glossy and vibrant. "That guy was just a hook."

2) Azaleas Where Your Face Should Be | Explicit | 5,626 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Harry and Louis having some sexy time and some sappy time and sometimes both at the same time.

3) Spaces Between Us, Hold All Our Secrets | Not Rated | 6,441 words

The thing about Harry is, is that he is the most wonderful guy you´ll ever meet. He is kind, compliments you on things you are usually insecure about, which shows he truly pays attention to who you are as a person. And he befriends everyone. Except Louis.

4) Cut Me Up, Kiss Me Harder | Mature | 9,431 words

A group of friends, a slightly drunk alternate version of spin the bottle, and the universe having a wicked sense of humour may just be enough to bring one bratty omega and a tired-of-said-omega’s-bullshit alpha closer than they’ve ever been. In more ways than one.

5) Hook You Up (Charm You Down) | Explicit | 9,600 words

Swiftly, Harry raises his right hand to his head. Bringing two ringed fingers up, he touches the brown hat sitting on his head, tipping it with a raise of eyebrows in the direction of Peter Pan. He punctuates the whole action with his signature smirk. The reaction is almost immediate. Like Harry hoped it’d be. Though he expected the grin he received, he can’t say he directly expected the man to come forward his way. But he surely isn’t going to complain. “Captain! Fancy seeing you there,” Peter Pan says when he reaches Harry’s space. And wow. Seeing it from up close, Niall was right. Face of an angel, totally Harry’s type and all that. 

6) The One Who Stays And The One Leaving You | Mature | 10,315 words

Fuck. He had just slept with none other than Harry Styles.

7) Behind Closed Doors | Explicit | 10,332 words

“You should ask that whoever he’s currently fucking.” Liam’s eyes grow wide. “No.” His tone is unbelieving, just like Louis’ would’ve been if you had told him what turn today would take. “Yes.” “How do you know?” Louis’ room mate’s eyes barely leave him as he tries to untie his shoes without looking. “Went to his dorm earlier, found a sock on his door handle. He’s such an arsehole.”

8) Sunshine On My Mind | Explicit | 12,704 words

Seeing Harry as an actual professor will never get old to Louis as his eyes soak him in. The casual attire of a student-teacher is gone and now Harry’s got on a button up under a sweater vest that both have stripes on it because someone with a face like Harry’s can actually pull that off. His beige trousers ride up high on his waist, loose and wide around the legs like he’s been preferring lately. By the time Louis’ done taking all of him in, he’s got a smile stretched wide across his face, cheekbones feeling like they’re about to burst just from happiness alone. “Hello Professor Styles."

9) You Know It Ain’t Fiction, Just a Natural Fact | Not Rated | 13,312 words

Harry is the golden boy of the college football's team, Louis is their professors' golden student and they definitely don't have anything in common. Falling in love would be dumb.

10) Kiss Me Once, Kiss Me Twice | Mature | 13,487 words

“You’re a fucking brat, you know that,” Harry muttered through clenched teeth, bones already burning with the pure desire and hatred mixing in his body. It was an intoxicating rush of adrenaline and something else that probably came with fucking Louis Tomlinson. He squeezed his neck just a little tighter. “I can’t stand it.” Their lips were brushing against each other, just moving with the ragged movements of their mouths and harsh breathing. “You’re a lying piece of shit dickhead,” Louis muttered right back. That was all he did, challenge and nag. He loved to have the last word and Harry let him because he used all his energy to fuck him mindless.

11) Wake Me Up With It | Mature | 13,699 words

“Oh god, I sound like a rapist now.” Louis gave a soft, sympathetic giggle, shifting on top of him, and that was when he noticed he was hard, as well. “No, Haz. You fucking me while I'm still asleep and waking up to a dick in my arse? That sounds fucking hot.” “I’d, like, discuss it before. Like get consent for it before.” “Obviously,” Louis rolled his eyes, staring up at Harry with a sad expression. “I’d let you do that to me, Harry.” “What?” Harry blinked, sure the world was ending by those words he never thought he’d ever hear in his life. The words sounded muffled to him, like he was swimming.

12) I Couldn't Face A Life Without Your Lights | Mature | 15,549 words

Louis and Harry are college students who haven't been the same in the past two years.

13) Give My Heart A Holiday | Not Rated | 17,222 words

AU where Louis and someone else both like Harry but Harry obviously likes Louis and is oblivious to the other person with scenes like Harry’s sitting with his legs on the coffee table and the other person wants to walk across and Harry doesn’t see them, so they have to say excuse me, but when Louis wants to cross he doesn’t even have to say anything because Harry sits up, puts his feet down, and gives his undivided attention to Louis.

14) There’s A Hole In My Heart (And It’s Got Your Name On It) | Explicit | 19,508 words

The four scream from the stands as the team huddles together, pulling their helmets and gloves off and slapping each other's backs as they celebrate their win. Louis had stolen a pom-pom from Mal earlier and he shakes it vigorously. His breath hitches when Harry looks up and their eyes meet. The hockey player smirks at him but looks away quickly. “Did he just-” “No.” Louis quickly stops Jade from even finishing that sentence because he’s about to lose his damn mind

15) Kiss And Tell (Me A Lie) | Explicit | 19,827 words

It takes three friends, a video game, and an arse tattoo for Harry to realize the truth.

16) Lovin’ Online | Not Rated | 27,627 words

“Huh?” Harry asks, muffled by his forearm. He feels lips on his face and the tip of Louis’ nose against his ear when Louis repeats himself. Brain sluggish with sleep, it takes a moment for him to process the words, but his eyes snap open, and he’s met with darkness. He's got to be dreaming, there’s no way Louis just said what he thinks he said. “What did you say?” He can see the vague shrug from Louis before he turns around to toss the towel with the pile of their discarded clothes. “Did you say…” he starts slowly, automatically slinging his arm around Louis as he gets back into bed and throws the blankets over them. “That we should make a sex tape?” Louis asks rather nonchalantly for such a big proposition. He cuddles easily into the warm body and confirms, “Yes, I did.”

17) Science & Faith | Mature | 36,442 words

Louis Tomlinson is a science major who's dedicated his life to proving that love doesn't actually exist. Harry's the philosophy major determined to prove him wrong.

18) You Could Be The One That I Love | Explicit | 39,797 words

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Niall waved off. “Now, let’s talk man to man to man. You two have had a crush on each other since uni. Now’s your chance to finally get something going. I could see the sparks and connection and attraction back then and I can still see it now, God damn it! You’re just denying fate at this point.” He looked impassioned, his blue eyes wide and imploring. Louis shook his head again and chuckled. “You can’t just snap your finger and expect us to, like, get it on.” “I’m not,” he reasoned. “I’m merely telling you to do something about it.”

19) Sink Into Your Sunlight | Explicit | 79,562 words

Louis hadn’t forgotten about Harry as much as he tried. It wasn’t due to the strange nature of their meeting, more so the magnetic pull he somehow had on Louis. He couldn’t fathom why this complete stranger stayed in his mind as much as he tried to stop it. Any time his phone sounded his heart skipped a beat at the thought of it possibly being Harry. In all honesty, it made him feel sort of pathetic. Gay guy falls for straight guy, what a cliche he had become.

20) Nothing Quite Hits Like You | Explicit | 81,098 words

For many centuries, Inferis Lamia had been a college strictly for higher magic alphas, where most rulers of the Underworld had reached their Divine Enlightenment to become the alphas they were now. However, that year, for the first time since it was founded many centuries ago, the academy would welcome omegas from the Underworld, giving them the same opportunities alphas had, the same education.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[lsunstreakerl]

Bare with me as I continue this time travel thought.

Max with time travel interference is slightly more emotionally stable than sh!Max (not by much but it's there) recognizes current day Liam (not the version of him that's been time traveling and meeting him but like 15-17? year old him when he first joins the Red Bull Org) and connects some of the pieces and goes out of his way to mentor him because there had to be a reason he was watching out for past Max so he'll watch out for current Liam. He does this for the others as he meets them. (I could be wrong on which of the 2025 rookies he would meet first but Liam makes the most sense in my head)

I would like to say that TTI max is substantially different, because the rookies keep changing such major parts of his life LOL. Daniel stays with Redbull, Max never feels betrayed, Daniel and Max compete for WDC for several years (swapping it back and forth pretty much). So overall Max wins the championship less but he's much more emotionally stable about it.

it takes him a while to connect the dots on the rookies because he's like "there's no fucking way" so it's actually Daniel who finally says it out loud, like "hey those are the kids that yelled at me in the bar"

yes, max looks out for them. this also leads to max deliberately trying to seek them all out to help coach them. (obviously at this point the timeline has split)

it's fine until the original TT rookies pop back into his timeline and meet the alternate younger versions of themselves. then they're freaked out.

[itacats]

Part 4 - A New Distraction

FT: Price x Reader (Detective AU)

Warnings: Stalking, obsessive behavior, psychological manipulation, graphic violence, and mature themes.

Word Count: 2,207

SUM: After your painful breakup with Liam, you seek a distraction through online dating and begin conversing with Mark, a seemingly perfect match. However, his attentiveness quickly turns unsettling as he begins sending gifts and messages that feel invasive. Meanwhile, you’re consumed by a serial killer case, where the killer seems to know you personally. As Mark’s behavior grows increasingly disturbing, you begin to fear that your new connection may be tied to the killer, and the lines between personal danger and professional chaos blur.

A/N: Okay, folks, this just got real. 😬💀 Can’t decide if I’m more scared for you or for us reading this. Let me know what you think—are we in too deep now?

Love Kills Masterlist

After Liam, the ache in your chest feels like an endless hollow void, sharp and unrelenting. Every corner of your life seems touched by the breakup, from the quiet of your apartment to the songs that once brought you joy. The case files piled on your desk don’t help—they’re a relentless reminder of lives shattered, of a puzzle you can’t seem to solve.

You need something—anything—to fill the void.

The decision to try online dating feels impulsive, reckless even, but you’re desperate for a distraction, and you convince yourself it’s harmless.

Creating a profile feels strangely vulnerable, like baring a piece of yourself to strangers. You agonize over the details, editing and re-editing until the words seem to form a version of you that even you don’t entirely recognize. It’s just a distraction, you remind yourself, hitting “submit.”

Days pass in a blur of monotony—swiping through profiles, exchanging half-hearted greetings, and deleting messages that don’t spark interest. Then, one evening, your phone buzzes with a notification.

Mark-ed4Luv: “Hey there! Love your taste in music. Want to talk about it?”

The message is simple, almost casual, but something about it cuts through the haze of your day. You hesitate, fingers hovering over the keyboard, before typing a reply.

Cupid’sDetective: “Sure! I’m really into indie and alternative—what about you?”

His response is quick, thoughtful, and surprisingly specific:

Mark-ed4Luv: “Those genres have so much depth! I’m into them too, but I can’t resist a good classic rock playlist. Have you ever tried journaling while listening to music? It’s surprisingly therapeutic.”

A small smile tugs at your lips despite yourself. His words are unassuming yet genuine, carrying a warmth you hadn’t realized you missed.

Mark becomes a constant presence in your days. At first, it’s harmless—friendly exchanges about books, music, and life. But as days turn into weeks, his messages take on a more personal tone, filled with thoughtful observations and surprising attentiveness.

“You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met,” he admits one evening. The words linger on the screen, their sincerity both comforting and disarming.

It’s not just his words that draw you in; it’s the way he remembers the smallest details. The novels you mentioned only in passing, your favorite coffee blend, the lilies you once said were beautiful but fleeting. His thoughtfulness feels like a balm, soothing the wounds Liam left behind.

When bouquets of lilies and handwritten notes begin arriving at your doorstep, you’re caught off guard by their sweetness. Each gift feels like a piece of him, deliberate and intentional.

But soon, the sweetness turns cloying. The attention that once felt comforting begins to weigh on you, like a coat too heavy for its season.

“How did you know about the mints?” you text him one evening, staring at the small tin he sent—your favorite flavor, no less.

Mark-ed4Luv: “I pay attention,” he replies, his words deliberate. “It’s the little things that matter most.”

His response should be reassuring, but instead, it feels calculated. A pit forms in your stomach, but you push it aside. He’s just thoughtful, you tell yourself. Nothing more.

Meanwhile, the serial killer case spirals further into chaos. Another victim is discovered, their life extinguished in the same gruesome pattern. But this time, the killer leaves something new: a note addressed directly to you.

You still haven’t caught me. You never will.

The words feel like a slap, mocking your efforts and twisting the knife of doubt already lodged in your chest.

When Price calls to relay the details, his voice is tense. “This just got personal,” he says grimly.

You meet him at the precinct, your hands trembling as you read the note for yourself. The handwriting is deliberate, almost playful.

“You’re not yourself,” Price says, studying your face. “What’s going on?”

You shake your head, your mind racing. “I’m fine,” you lie, but the strain in your voice betrays you.

“Look,” Price says gently, “this killer knows you. They’re targeting you. And whatever’s happening in your personal life? It’s bleeding into this case.”

You nod, his words barely registering. Your thoughts are elsewhere—on Mark, on his uncanny attentiveness, on the unsettling coincidences piling up around you.

Mark’s messages continue, each one more intimate than the last.

“Hey, I found this little trinket that reminded me of you. Can’t wait to share it!”

His enthusiasm should feel endearing, but it sends a chill down your spine. The gifts, the attention, the perfect timing—it’s all too much.

One evening, after a particularly long day, you decide to confront him—gently, but directly.

“How do you always seem to know what I need?” you text, your fingers trembling.

His reply is immediate:

“I just listen. Isn’t that what you wanted? Someone who truly listens?”

The words feel like a mirror, reflecting your own desires back at you. But they also feel like a trap, wrapping you in a net of your own making.

Meanwhile, the killer’s shadow looms larger. Each new victim is a message, a cruel reminder of their power. And the line between the case and your personal life blurs further.

Late one night, your phone buzzes. An unknown number flashes on the screen.

“You’re closer than you think,” a distorted voice says before the line goes dead.

Your heart pounds as you stare at the phone, the room suddenly too quiet. The call is a taunt, a game, and you’re the unwilling player.

You begin piecing together the connections late one night, your apartment a labyrinth of crime scene photos, timelines, and scribbled notes.

The killer targets people with public-facing lives—an artist, a teacher, an accountant. People whose routines were predictable, whose lives were exposed in small, seemingly innocent ways.

The next morning, Price calls you into his office. “We’ve got something,” he says, sliding a folder across the desk. Inside are surveillance photos from one of the victim’s neighborhoods. 

A hooded figure lingers near the victim’s house, their face obscured.

“It’s not much,” Price admits, “but it’s a lead.”

You study the photos, the grainy images sparking a glimmer of hope, but every nerve in your body is on edge. “We need to track them. If we can figure out where they were before and after this…”

“We’re on it,” Price assures you. “I’ve already got a team on it. But you need to stay focused. Whoever this is, they’re watching you. Don’t let them get in your head.”

Easier said than done, you think, but you nod anyway.

As the days turn into weeks, the case consumes you. The notes stop, but the silence feels more ominous than the messages ever did. You can’t shake the feeling that you’re being watched, that every step is leading you closer to a trap.

And then it happens.

One evening, as you leave the precinct, your car refuses to start. Frustrated, you pop the hood, only to find a single red rose lying on the engine block.

Your blood runs cold. The killer is closer than you ever imagined,  just like they said.

You call Price immediately. “They were here,” you say, your voice trembling. “They left a rose in my car.”

“We’ll handle it,” he promises, but you can hear the tension in his voice.

That night, sleep eludes you. Every creak of your apartment, every passing car outside, feels like a harbinger of danger.

You sit in the dark, your mind racing. This isn’t just about solving the case anymore—it’s about survival. And as you stare at the crime board on your wall, a chilling realization washes over you: the killer isn’t just watching. They’re waiting.

Waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

Want to see what's up next? Click here!

[saintescuderia]

pancakes: the recipe!

for the version of pancakes published here, i have tried to make the character as generic as possible in terms of reference (pronouns etc.) however, the one thing i have kept is the last name: tessio.

should you be curious as to find out more about the character, here is some more information which is used for the alternate version of pancakes (linked here: coming soon!)

NOTE: this story has additional fics that are a part of the 'pancakes!universe.' these supplement the overall story arc. also are just a bit of fun, really

+++ ANTINAL // CS55 AKA carlos gets sick in jeddah - complete (read here) +++ LOS BLANCOS // CS55 AKA the first time carlos sees you wearing a real madrid jersey makes him question everything

+++ STOMACHING YOU // MV33 AKA max comes to you after winning abu dhabi 2021 - complete (read here) +++ JUST AN INCHIDENT // MV33 AKA you hurt your wrist - and jos verstappen's face

+++ STUCK ON THE PUZZLE // DR3 AKA how daniel's famed 2018 monaco win was the beginning of the end

+++ HILLBILLES // OP81 (ft. kendrick, keem + tyler) AKA you help increase oscar's street cred by getting him into a music video with a bunch of rappers

+++ SIL16 // CL16 AKA - charles debuts in F1 and almost says i love you

+++ FAST AND FURIOUS // LL40 (ft. LH44) AKA - now that both your calendars line up, you and liam can finally go drifting in japan

FULL NAME: elena marie 'tezza' tessio DOB: 6/3/97 PLACES: born in monaco. raised in australia. lived in america. FAMILIAL SITUATION: auntie nadia is the goat. and just not because her brother is football's Don. GENERAL: gymrat. hip-hop head with far too many shoes. introverted. monolingual. 400mg of caffeine is a guideline. bryan o'connor was a sexual awakening - to boys and cars. burned too many times. protein pancakes are the goated form of breakfast.

a pancakes moodboard

the pancakes 'let him cook bake' playlist

note: there is no correlation where certain songs are for certain scenes. these are just the songs i listened to when i wrote this story.

too many nights - metro boomin

no eres tu (soy yo) - kali uchis

is there someone else? - the weeknd

benthi - khaled + melissa m

avec moi - PLK

ma bansak - zeyne (colours show ver.)

miami - kali uchis ft. bia

self love - metro boomin

in my head- tertia may

no ordinary love - sade

smooth operator remix - sade (ofc)

bonbon - era istrefi

4eva (extended mix) - shygirl

don't forget my love - diplo

slide - HER

bathroom - montell fish

p power - gunna

trance - metro boomin

orange soda - baby keem

realism v idealism - $uicideboy$

shook ones pt. ii - mobb deep

link here

taglist:

@eugene-emt-roe @spookystitchery @vicurious28 @taytaylala12 @c-losur3

@hiireadstuff @samantha-chicago @fionaschicken @casperlikej @bookstore-of-dreams

@itsjustkhaos @sam-is-lost @laneyspaulding19 @formula1mount @bokutos-babyowl

@stampiej @alilcloudy @bingussthirdtoe @lilymurphy03 @inlovewmarlenemckinnon

@charllleclerc @richardniixon @sp1rl @nikfigueiredo @lozzamez3

@butterfliesflyaroundmymind @vellicora @ellen3101 @michelleyw81 @samantha-chicago

@bloodyymaryyy @a-beaverhausen @bokutos-babyowl @tsireyasgf

message me if you would like to be added :)

[mayasdeluca]

Top 5 Marina moments (and why?)

{pass along if you wish}

This is incredibly difficult and probably would change depending on when you ask me just because there's quite a few that make the top list but for now these come to mind. Also I've seen a lot of other answers and a lot of people had great ones!

5x07: "I want to hold a little you. I want another version of you that I can count my blessings on." This scene is just everything and so beautiful and I'll forever be upset that we never got to see Maya with her little Carina even if the alternative was cute too. The way Carina is looking at Maya throughout this whole scene too is 😭😍 It was probably the only time in Season 5 that them building a family was truly about just the two of them and I'm glad they had that moment regardless.

4x16: This has always been one of my favorites ever since it aired. Just seeing how happy they were the day of their wedding and so excited to get married that they were dancing in each other's arms in their kitchen. And the way Maya feels so at peace and happy in Carina's arms...I just love it so much.

6x15: This scene feels underrated (at least when it came to top 5 moments for some) and it's at the top for me no question. It was such an overdue conversation for them to have and it was so nice to hear them expressing their feelings to each other openly and being vulnerable with one another and Carina just seeking the comfort in Maya that she was so desperately missing all season long. The way Maya cradles Carina's face and Carina just buries herself in Maya's chest 😭 And this hug shot is truly one of my favorites of the series. So good. "Because I know from the first time I saw you in that bar, you are the person that I wanted to call." 🥰

5x17: This feels like the comfort scene for the fandom and them and it should be. It's everything we had always wanted to see for Marina and I wish we got more scenes like it. It was so simple but so satisfying at the same time. They also kissed so many times in it!!! Who knew that we would end up possibly taking that for granted after Season 7??? Anyways...from Carina sleeping on Maya's side of the bed while she's on shift to Maya waking her up with kisses to them being flirty while 'studying' to falling back into bed with one another and just staring at each other like no one else in the world matters....just perfection ❤️

5x01: This moment is so special because it also shows how incredibly magical Danielle and Stefania's chemistry is (which we all know it is but still) and how so in tune they are with one another that words don't even need to be spoken and their scene together can be so powerful. I'm really glad we got this scene of Carina comforting Maya after finding out she got demoted and being able to be sad about it in the comfort of her wife's arms and Carina showing her that it's okay to be sad about it, even on their wedding day because it's absolutely unfair that it happened to her and out of her control that it happened on one of the best days of her life.

And I just have to add in two bonus ones from Season 7 because it feels wrong to not include them.

7x04: The expressing fears discussion is another convo that was long overdue and I'm so glad we got it (directed by Stefania which was even better) and then getting to see Carina cuddle up to Maya as they go to sleep and basically attaching herself to her and not leaving an inch of space. 🥰 Also Maya looking at Liam and holding onto Carina as she prepares to go to sleep holding her wife was such a good moment too.

7x05: This was such a good scene from beginning to end. Maya seeing Carina's bloody shirt and freaking out, asking if Carina and Liam were okay in a panic to then having the tough discussion with Carina not being able to get pregnant with her eggs and Maya suggest her own so she can still live out that dream. And then we FINALLY get to hear Maya speak in Italian to her wife and call her amore mio. And Liam's precious self was there too. The perfect family moment ❤️

And while I was doing this I realized that the end scene in 6x10 is such a good one too but I don't know what I would take out to replace it with but just know that's also at the top because it's so Marina and Maya not wanting to leave Carina's side not knowing when she'd see her again and the forehead kiss 😭 I miss them so much already 😞

[chaosandorder46]

Master fic list

I decided it was time to make a master list. 🤷‍♀️

Witcher

Tissaia/Yennefer centric

1. I’m OK, You’re OK (6108 words; uni AU)- Tissaia's anxiety is not under control. Yennefer totally gets it, and Triss is a therapist, because of course, she is.

2. And Then There Were Three (26,290 words; domestic fluff)-Tissaia and Yennefer are happily married, and want a child to complete their family. The process won't be easy, but they have each other and their ride or die friend group. Some fluff, some angst, and shenanigans arise on their journey.

3. Self Control (1,149 words; fluff and smut)- Dr. Tissaia de Vries has legendary self control. Unless Yennefer of Vengerberg is in the room.

4. Come to my Office, Please (3,123 words; Eventual smut)-A private message gets sent to the entire group and puts a series of events into action.

5. Stars Fell on Aretuza (1,210 words; hurt/comfort)-It's the first Ascension Ball since the Thanedd Coup, and the first in decades not coordinated by Tissaia de Vries.

6. You Mistake the Stars (31,647 words; whump)- Yennefer saw Vilgefortz as a way to get off of the pig farm, but ended up in a worse situation. When she casts an errant portal and ends up on the Isle of Thanedd, she meets a cast of characters that will change her life.

7. Such a Good Turkey (2,606 words, crack fic)- It's close to Thanksiving on The Continent and no one has any chill.

8. I Might Love You More than Coffee (46,484 words; fluff)- Yennefer is intrigued by a mysterious new regular at her coffee shop, The Lodge. I'm no barista, so I'm relying on my extensive coffee consumption experience for the details on this one.

9. Le Tits Now! (3,939 words; crack fic)-It's the holiday season and everyone is in various states of festiveness. Shenanigans to follow...

10. And I Swear My Breath Turned Silver the Day Your Hair Did (4,942 words; angst with a happy ending)-I've never really written a real fix it for the Thanedd Coup before. I pretty much just ignore it by writing modern AUs or insinuate that everything turned out ok.

This is a somewhat canon compliant (until it's not) fix it for the Thanedd Coup fall out. I've had it in progress for a while and seem to be having trouble working on my other fic until this one is done.

11. What’s Lost is not Lost…Keep Looking! (1,380 words; crack fic)-Ciri's beloved stuffy is missing. Tissaia and Yen are ready to go all Liam Neeson from Taken, but the answer may be closer than they think.

12. Now the Air I Tasted and Breathed (Has Taken a Turn) (WIP; angst with a happy ending)-Ok, so....remember the musical episode of Grey's Anatomy (Song beneath the song)? Um...this is the Witcher version of that. Kind of, though (in my imagination) the characters aren't singing, it's just a montage of scenes with the song playing. If you aren't familiar with Black by Pearl Jam, listening is a good pre-reading activity. :)

13. How did we get THIS way? (3,933 words; crack treated seriously) - An alternate version of Rinde if Tissaia had shown up a bit later. OR...Tissaia de Vries accidentally crashes an orgy.

14. Nothing Sweeter Than a Bitter Cup of Coffee (13,681 words; light angst and crack)-More coffee shop shenanigans ensue when Rita shares some news with Tissaia.

15. More Indelible than Ink (WIP, fluff)- Tissaia is the proprietor of deVries Ink and Paper Shop and leads a very quiet, normal life...that is until a stunning raven-haired tattoo artist walks into her store.

Sabrina/Triss centric

1. The Kids are Alright (5,399 words; mutual pining)-Sabrina breaks her arm badly teaching novices non-magical self defense. Rita and Triss help her and Triss uses her chaos. The healer becomes the patient and Rita is sick of their shit.

2. Downtime (1,034 words, PWP?)- Sabrina's office has a network downtime and she needs something (or someone) to do.

3. What We Lost at Sodden (8,858 words; hurt/comfort)- This is another Sodden Hill story with a focus on Sabrina and Rita's experiences. I feel like Sabrina was too OK, too soon after Sodden, and I would love to have seen more of Rita's experience being charged with holding down the fort, knowing her friends were fighting for, and losing their lives.

4. The Things I Regret (2,036 words; hurt/comfort)- Written on the the one year anniversary of my mom's death. We had a very complicated relationship and I've been surprised at how I've felt since she died, vs. how I thought I would feel. I also had lunch recently with a friend who has gone no-contact with her mother due to her refusal to acknowledge her childhood trauma. These human experiences are always so interesting to me...if a bit painful. So, why not write about it? 😁

So, once again poor Sabrina gets to be a stand in for therapy. I mainly chose her because of her conduit moment, we know she has some issues there. 😁

5. Put Out the Fire in Your Head and Lay With Me Tonight (2,226 words; fluff and smut)-Sabrina is exhausted and stressed. Triss helps her relax. This is all fluff with a little bit of smut and nearly no plot. Just like I like to write. 😈😍

6. Burnout (10,501 words; hurt/comfort)-Sabrina is burnt out and coping as only Sabrina can, which is to say, not at all.

7. Aretuza (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair) (1,465 words; tooth rotting fluff)- This is a snapshot of an Aretuza where they all live happily ever after, even if the novices are a bit ...incapable.

8. The world was on fire (and no one could save me but you) (22,760 words; angst with a happy ending)-IMO, this is the angstiest thing I've written, so be warned. None of the major characters die (I could never) but there is some death.

9. The 14th on the Hill (8,985 words; angst with a happy ending)-Another spin on Sodden, but this one pulls from book lore as well as Netflix lore and HCs.

Group shenanigans

1. Icks (1,116 words; crack fic)-Tissaia learns a new term. Everyone shares an ick in their relationship.

2. Triss’s Greenhouse (429 words; crack fic) -Tissaia needs to relax and Triss has something for that.

3. Beige Flags (770 words; crack fic)-Tissaia is slowly learning tik tok. She needs an explanation of beige flags.

4. Another Fic Where Triss is Stoned, but with Pokemon (965 words; crack fic)- This is a crack fic, but based on a real life conversation. No need to take this seriously. :) This is based on a video game called pal world That is essentially a rip off of pokémon... And they have guns.

5. Hanging Around (5,593 words, crack treated seriously)- Ok. I was inadvertently sent on a side quest to tell an important, and very serious story. It is based on the delightful video below which gave me several much needed laughs. This is set in the AUMC universe where Tissaia is a pathologist, Yennefer and Rita work in the hospitals PR department, Triss is a nurse and married to Sabrina, who manages the lab. The slides in question are stained blood and bone marrow which are used to microscopically diagnose blood disorders, such as leukemia. I think that is all the pre-reading needed.🤭

6. After Sodden (29,044 words; modern AU; slow burn?)- Ciri is an environmental activist, but accidentally commits a bit of eco-terrorism. She's now a fugitive and turns to Yennefer for help.This was inspired by a Tumblr prompt...I have taken a LOT of creative liberties here. (Read: I don't follow instructions well).

Wheel of Time

• I (Critically) Care A Lot (7,677 words; Hospital AU)- Moraine and Siuan have a tense working relationship. Or do they?

• You’re Going to Make Me…Late (8,493 words; hospital AU)-Siuan applies for a new job.

• I’d walk to the depths of a world down below (and demand to get back what some circumstance stole) (1,867 words; crack)-Siuan is dead, like...dead dead. And Moiraine has to go to The Underworld to get her back.

[firstprince-ao3feed]

A License to Thrill (aka The Spy who loved him)

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/tZ6gjLl by Djokodal_Fan Henry Hanover-Stuart Fox - aka ‘H’- is an elite MI6 case handler. To put it in a nutshell, a younger and very handsome version of the cinematic ‘M’, made famous by the Bond films. H takes care of the logistics needs of a crack team of agents. For the past couple of years, he’s been handler for an inter-agency team set up to gather evidence against the notorious international crime syndicate boss Jeffrey Richards and his gang. All that sounds fine and dandy - but one agent in particular, CIA super spy Alex Claremont-Diaz, drives H completely nuts. And makes him feel like his entire body is going up in flames, besides. Alex has a very cinematic, action-thriller idea of what his job should be. He is charismatic and drop-dead gorgeous; causes Henry’s poor gay heart - and another prominent organ - to perk up like never before. But, he also causes very dramatic problems, though he does achieve results. Henry can do nothing except try in vain to stem his flaring attraction for Alex. For the man is as straight as an arrow, leaving a trail of broken female hearts in every place he’s stationed undercover in. But what if H has misread certain things, and missed the fervent interest someone has in him? 😉 Words: 5717, Chapters: 1/2, Language: English Series: Part 10 of In Every Universe Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue (2023), Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Liam (Red White & Royal Blue), Shaan Srivastava, Jeffrey Richards, Miguel Ramos (Red White & Royal Blue) Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor & Liam, Alex Claremont-Diaz & Liam, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor & Shaan Srivastava Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Espionage, Henry is the Handler/Contact for a crack team of secret agents, Henry is this AU equivalent of 'M', Alex is this AU equivalent of Bond, Alex Claremont-Diaz is Not First Son of the United States, Non-Royal Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Feelings Realization, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Requited Love, Resolved Sexual Tension, intense sexual tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, Undercover Missions, Missions Gone Wrong, Action & Romance, Passionate Declarations, Jealous Alex Claremont-Diaz, Possessive Alex Claremont-Diaz, Protective Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor's Name is Henry Hanover-Stuart-Fox, Action/Adventure, Getting Together, Eventual Smut, Passionate Sex, Humor, Sexual Humor, Light-Hearted, Henry has a thing for Alex speaking Spanish, Double Entendre read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/tZ6gjLl

[mariacallous]

Well, if you’re just joining us, the nation has delivered an all-night victim impact statement. Labour has won a landslide and the Conservatives have suffered their worst ever general election result. Keir Starmer – the prime minister – has promised “national renewal … to fight until you believe again”. Liz Truss has failed to save South West Norfolk, let alone “the west”. That is the big picture (if not the whole picture, with turnout and Labour’s vote share notably low). Meanwhile, it’s incredible to think that only a short while ago we thought we’d eradicated measles and Nigel Farage. Both have now been brought back, largely by the same people.

But look, after the 3am to 7am shift, no one will be able to say the right doesn’t do comedy. There were moments worthy of entire Netflix specials as in sports halls and community centres various Dickensian grotesques were ushered into their Christmas future, live on stage. Alas, it was going to take more than buying the Cratchits a turkey to get out of this one. Jacob Rees-Mogg heard his fate standing next to a candidate wearing a baked bean balaclava. He’ll be crying into Nanny’s starched bosom today. Committed sewage apologist Thérèse Coffey was pumped into the sea in Suffolk Coastal. Andrea Jenkyns had the middle finger given to her by the voters of Morley and Outwood. In Welwyn Hatfield, Grant Shapps chanted “supermajority” five times into the mirror, and then it came for him.

Then again, Michael Portillo losing his seat was supposedly 1997’s big moment. So perhaps the question is: in two years’ time, which current hate figure will be presenting a cosy travelogue on Europe’s most picturesque illegal migration routes? Alternatively, do remember that one person’s onstage humiliation is another person’s milk round for directorships in the arms trade.

Speaking of absolute weapons, hat twat George Galloway wimped out of his own count in Rochdale, presumably out of fatigability. He lost to Labour. There was jubilation for the Lib Dems, who finished not a million miles behind “the natural party of government”, and for the Greens, who won all four of their target seats. The SNP can now squeeze its MPs round the flip-down dining table of a motorhome. Referendum arguments may move to Northern Ireland, with Sinn Féin now that nation’s largest Westminster party.

As for Reform … Farage won in Clacton, a constituency for which he will now have to hold surgeries, presumably by Zoom link from his hot desk in the US presidential colon. Or as he put it in his victory speech: “This is the first steps of something that is going to stun all of you” – at least confirming his political abattoir will be bolt-gunning its victims unconscious first. Farage is the horror version of Inside Out, where Mendacity is only just holding off Racism at the control console. His cultural hinterland extends to a single Goodbye, Mr Chips DVD he got free with the Sunday Times in 2008, and the idea that this hollow chancer should still be one of the most significant politicians of the age says everything about the age.

Anyway, back to the Conservatives’ four-hour in-memoriam reel. Penny Mordaunt, Jonathan Gullis, Michael Fabricant, Gillian Keegan, Steve Baker, Alex Chalk, Johnny Mercer, Michelle Donelan, Victoria Prentis, Liam Fox, Mark Harper … all out, along with many more. So many cabinet ministers fell that the ones who live may actually develop survivor guilt. It’s currently unclear how gruesome things will be among the extant Conservatives in this post-apocalyptic world. As a fictional president once wondered of Dr Strangelove, will the living not end up envying the dead? Far from it, Strangelove reassures him, forcing down an involuntary Nazi salute. What will abound is a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!

Speaking of which, 13th fairy Suella Braverman finally turned up, holding on in Fareham and cooing: “I am sorry that my party didn’t listen to you. The Conservative party has let you down.” Expect to see her humbly attempting to disembowel fellow survivors Jeremy Hunt and James Cleverly in the forthcoming trial-by-combat for what convention demands we style as “the soul of the Conservative party”.

At his count, Rishi Sunak explained he’d already conceded the election in a congratulatory call to Keir Starmer, adding, “I take responsibility for the loss.” In Downing Street, he confirmed he would be standing down as Tory leader in some sort of due course, stressing, “I have heard your anger.” Then, instead of yet another speech straight from the Tortured Prime Minister’s Department, this one offered humility and magnanimity, as well as a pointed reminder of the positive (and fragile?) progress that saw him become the UK’s first British-Asian prime minister. What a contrast to the relentless negativity of his past six weeks. Sunak’s campaign was conducted like a gender-reveal party where the device that’s meant to release the puff of blue smoke accidentally functions as a pipe bomb and burns the house down.

It also closed out several years of mindboggling chaos, dysfunction and national decline. They won’t be playing anything from this album on the Conservative party’s Eras tour. The Tories have cycled through five prime ministers over the past eight years, to the point where they were recently found going through the rubbish, pulling the first guy back out, thinking, “Actually, he doesn’t look half bad now,” and making him foreign secretary. This is the behaviour of addicts.

Not that they have the monopoly on erraticism. Any dispassionate view of these results suggests the fabled post-Brexit “realignment” is more of a dealignment – the huge sweeping gains of this or that political moment able to be reversed in previously unthinkable timespans. Volatility might now be our defining electoral characteristic, and a rise in sectarian politics cannot and should not be ignored. Because hey – what’s the worst that can happen with that one? Meanwhile, many people who derided the simplistic “Get Brexit done” slogan in 2019 have pretended not to notice that the winner here went out under the even more gnomic banner of “Change”.

Yet in the wider global context, what a win. One summer evening in 1914, the foreign secretary, Edward Grey, famously remarked: “The lamps are going out all over Europe.” In our own times, a darkening has recently felt at hand, as hard- or extreme-right parties have gained ground across the continent, to say nothing of the US. But here – in this country, in this moment – a different direction has been taken. That matters today, and anyone not on the wingnut fringes, who hopes to avoid those gathering shadows, should wish Keir Starmer good luck with his task. For plenty who would snuff out the lamps are also rising – increasingly, they walk among us.

[allwaswell16]

All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in November 2023. You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 including the fics on this month’s fic roundup which you can find here! Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

Fanfictional Podcast #56 |  ko-fi | fic recs

- Louis/Harry -

🍂 Train Tracks and Porcelain by @jaerie

(E, 41k, historical circus au) Shadows were forming into people and things and, there in the middle of it, Louis watched the humongous head of an elephant emerge from a box car right in front of his eyes. Or a Water For Elephants inspired AU

🍂 Big, Bright World by RealName

(M, 35k, office au) Every day, Louis' feelings became more intense, more immediate, each little smile and gesture and silly flirtation mounting up into something palpable, with a life of its own. The only problem? Harry was engaged to someone else and had been from the moment Louis started working at Visionary.

🍂 two feet standing on a principle by Anonymous

(E, 10k, exes) Harry is a famous fashion model and Louis works at the mall, nobody knows they broke up two weeks ago.

🍂 you make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong by orphan_account

(T, 6k, mpreg Harry) Harry is pregnant and stops at the mall to buy cheap baby clothes. Louis has extra money from working a long shift, and he can't think of a better way to spend it than on him.

🍂 make my wish come true by deblond / @braveryandtea

(T, 4k, Christmas) Louis works as Santa’s elf at the mall. He meets Harry.

- Rare Pairs -

🍂 take me back, take me back by eynap / @panye

(E, 32k, Niall/Shawn Mendes) Niall invites his new friend Shawn to Zayn and Liam's three-day wedding in Napa Valley, California. He gets way more than he expected.

🍂 must be love by @nouies

(NR, 6k, Louis/Andrew Garfield) AU where Louis doesn’t know how to approach his neighbour, and Andrew keeps receiving homegrown vegetables at his door.

🍂 lonely in [paris] by f_ckromeoandjuliet / @louiesonlyangel

(T, 5k, Louis/Awsten Knight) Alternate version of Louis's tour where he's in a secret relationship with Awsten Knight from Waterparks. Based on Awsten tweeting at Louis.

🍂 Feeling Feline by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 4k, Louis/Niall) “Not medically wrong,” the blond one says. “But I swear, and I know this sounds nuts, but I don’t think he’s a cat?”

🍂 it's the summer of our love by localopa / @voulezloux

(G, 3k, Louis/Ryan Ross) ryan is in love with his best friend and gym bro, louis. the problem? ryan is straight.

🍂 Got My Chaos Automatic by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28

(E, 3k, Zayn/Louis/Liam) the one where Louis comes home from tour feeling exhausted, yet antsy. Luckily, Liam and Zayn are there to put him back together

🍂 Crush by @allwaswell16

(T, 1k, Louis/Niall) When Niall stops smiling around the office, his co-worker Louis sets out to lift his mood with the help of their office mates.

- Trick Or Treat Fest -

1D Trick Or Treat Fest / @1dtrickortreatfest (each 666 words)

she bit someone by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus

Sounds horrifying..... tell me more by @lunaticcat009

In The Dark by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

Ghosted by @haztobegood

Summon A Demon by red_panda28 / @red-pandaaa

Slow Dance with the Tension by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28

I See You by @neondiamond

Lipstick stain fades with time by @lunarheslwt

Watch How Good I'll Fake It by mmaree / @zqua1d

Irresistible by mmaree / @zqua1d

find a way (to send me a sign) by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

when love gets involved by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

Harryween (series) by @babyhoneyheslt

Fruit Bat by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

Odds Are That We Will Probably Be... by @lululawrence

A Witch's Longest Day of the Year by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

pasta-tively sweet by shiptattou / @wecantalktomorrow

perfect pumpkins by shiptattou / @wecantalktomorrow

Fa-boo-lous Halloween by bluegreenish / @greenblueish

Still by downcamethelightning / @downcamethelightnings