#alter ego clicker game

[diogeneswannabe]

I. I... I, I, I... I use this word so unconsciously. What does it even mean ? What does it refer to ? My body ? Or, perhaps, my thoughts ? If I halfed my body, in which half would I reside ? If all the cells in my body swapped places... Would my self just be an optical illusion ? The same goes for my thoughts. No, those are even less certain. How can I say for certain that these thoughts are my own ? [...] With the world as all I know, I may as well be dead. If I don't exist without someone here to percieve me... Where do I go when you are not here ? [...] I beg of you... Tell me the answer. You're the only one here, the only one who can answer me. What am I ?

ALTER EGO (clicker game)

(2-5 Self Doubt, What am I?)

[thelavenderprince]

I. I... I, I, I... I use this word so unconsciously. What does it even mean ? What does it refer to ?  My body ? Or, perhaps, my thoughts ? If I halfed my body, in which half would I reside ? If all the cells in my body swapped places... Would my self just be an optical illusion ? The same goes for my thoughts. No, those are even less certain. How can I say for certain that these thoughts are my own ? [...] With the world as all I know, I may as well be dead. If I don't exist without someone here to percieve me... Where do I go when you are not here ? [...] I beg of you... Tell me the answer. You're the only one here, the only one who can answer me. What am I ?

ALTER EGO (clicker game)

(2-5 Self Doubt, What am I?)

[monotonusnonsense]

i have been obsessed with alter ego for like a year now and i should really move onto something with a living fandom but. but i don't want to so

yaaaaa

this is my comfort game and it's maybe made me a little more delusional than i was before but i dont MIND! uhhmmdss

yeah thats it for now

[qurolo]

Sketch bc why not

Imagine being trapped in a game doomed to have the only fulfillment of their lives to be the protags from the real world… pshhhh couldn’t be them

[6ft2lesbian]

Think fast!

1, 2, 4, 5, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14

It's Molniya! Thank you! I've been wanting to do this for a while!

Are there any in-sys friend groups that wouldn't happen in canon, but make sense to you?

It's me and Clockwork. Where we're from, we'd be on opposite sides of a war.

2. What source do you have the most fictives from?

It's a tie between Project Guardmaid (a story that Katja is writing) (where I'm from!) and Mobile Suit Gundam. I guess all of us are OCs.

4. Who has the coolest name in your opinion?

To be honest, I think it might be me. It's a mispronunciation of the Russian word for lightning, but I like it a lot. A close second is Rust. Very charming, very simple.

5. What's your favorite thing about your source?

Probably the magic. It's a blessing and a curse. You can do so much.

9. What's a quote or lyric that reminds you of yourself?

To be honest, I could give you a rather intense answer, or I could give you an equally intense answer with a fair helping of introspection. I'm giving you both.

One is from Unjust Depths. I'm no pilot, but something about it really speaks to me.

"Interred in a tomb of steel, the rangefinders and cameras became her eyes. And the guns were the only hands she had, and shooting was the only touch she had left."

Another is from a clicker game called ALTER EGO. One of the characters analyzes you based on how you tell a story(I believe that's how it went), and the last part of her read on us resonated with me very well. I'll post the whole analysis because it also painfully accurate, but I'll highlight the part I'm talking about.

"Deny stable values / Pure Self-Denial.

You must truly hate yourself. With the ability for deep self-analysis, it's so easy to find things to loathe about yourself. You're very pure and connected to your own inquisitive nature. You've never forgotten what it is to be a child, and you tend to thoroughly investigate whatever catches your fancy. You're both incredibly pure, and awfully dangerous. Never fear. There's a place for you here."

11. Who's your best friend in-sys? Would your sources be friends, do you think?

It's Clockwork. Again, we'd be killing each other in an always-war. But once it ended... maybe. Probably. It took me a long time to see automatons as people, but I got there. Earlier than most of my kind, really. Most automatons are more human than any of us ever were. I remember dancing with someone like her post-war, in an underwater manufacturing plant turned university. Huge ballroom, glass ceiling just 30 feet below the surface at low tide. It was beautiful, the way the waves twisted the sunlight down upon us. I traded partners with some officer and this blank-faced automaton girl took my hand. Her voice was lilty and robotic, which was... very strange, considering that most every other automaton I've ever met spoke just like any human would. Great dancer. I think we danced 3 separate times that night. I don't remember much else. Was that her? Probably not.

I've gotten way off topic. I felt like sharing.

12. Do you miss anyone from your source?

Laika, my... lover? She was so cocky and it drove me insane. Gaia's most charming vehicle mechanic. I hope she's doing okay. I hope our daughter is doing okay.

13. What do you look like in the head? How does that compare to your source? The body?

I look almost the same, lithe and toned. Shoulder length silver hair(It's kind of swoopy!) and dull red eyes. Although I dress a lot more informally up here than I did where I'm from. No uniforms. Skinny jeans and long sleeve shirts mostly. Turtlenecks too. Sometimes I wear a plate carrier. Occasionally. Body armor is like a bulletproof hug. It's comforting.

14. What's your favorite song?

Psycho Dreams - Kill Eva

[quailxcrossing]

AAAAHH AAHH JUMPS UP AND DOWN JOYFULLYYY!!!!! I love reading about your ocssssss I’m. Stares up at you with giant wet eyes THERE ARE A LOT OF THESE IM SORRY I GOT EXCITED HEELLPPP FEEL FREE TO NOT ANSWER SPOILERY(?) ONES OFC!!!

43 & 17 for Rlioch

37 Auï and Fracture

35 Auï

1, 38 & 44 for Bartenn

16, 40 & 49 for Machwell

and 56 for Machwell and Bartenn LMAOO

YAYYYY HI!!!!! HEY FISH ohhohoho rubs my little hands together. delightful questions so delightful

RLIOCH [43] Do they enjoy flirting or being flirted with?

nooooo but also yessss ? he's allo/allo, but simply doesn't prioritize relationships at the moment. he...does flirt, a little, in a weird way, and he doesn't mind being flirted back with, but only women he's interested in, or else he gets unreasonably pissed off. he's just a very difficult person to be with, i think...for many reasons. he has indeed been in relationships but they've been......mmmmm......

[17] What is their biggest struggle that no one around them is able to understand or believe? I'll imagine the "no one" in this question is our little protagonist troupe. I think the true answer to this question is a bit sppooilery of Rlioch's backstory, but I think its literally just that- Goat and his friends have a hard time believing Rlioch really has a backstory. it's not a great one, but I would never say Rlioch acts without motive. they just have so little sympathy for him, they can't understand he'd act under pretense but pure malice.

AUÏ

[35] Do they like their own appearance, and what do they do, if anything, to alter it in any way?

MY GUY!!! ok ok Auï has had such an up and down relationship with his body.....from the biggest ego ever to so much crushing body dysmorphia, the answer to this question is not an easy yes or no. Auï understands, on some level, his appearance is likeable, and has qualities to be liked, but he feels so disconnected and uncomfortable in his skin that he used to literally shower fully clothed.

but he's getting better over time, and he's doing all sorts of little things to make himself feel more at home in his frame again- growing his hair out, for one! that was always something he had control over. he also is taking more time for his fashion, instead of simple greyscale clothing, he loves experimenting with alt fashion like his gothic outfits when he goes out and his silly graphic print shirts at home. his fashion has become a huge outlet for him.

Auï has two moods.

both make him very happy :)

[37] How would they spend a lazy day when they have nothing specific to do?

he loves to laze....watch tv or videos, play clicker games in the basement on Vega's desktop (like Horse World Online), or nap/catch up on his rest, or he'll wander around and see what his friends are doing and watch them/join them. he's a simple lad. so tired. a day off is soooo desired...

TURRIE (art by my friend @/tigtoggle!!) [37] How would they spend a lazy day when they have nothing specific to do?

probably find a little perch and sit around and doodle. if she wants to go out, she'll find some idle wandering and exploring to do around town, as she's still learning the area! she might also sleep tbh, but hanging off Cian is incredibly likely. she might find a little place in their backyard to sit and work in her sketchbook.

BARTENN [1] What first impression do they typically make? Are they likeable from the get go, or take time to grow on people?

Depends on who are you are, i think! He gets along best right off the bat with people who share his humor, he can't help to rib at people when doing transactions, and a lot of folks find that offputting. he's just sorta an old dad. he's friendly, but teasing. so if people are as chatty and extroverted as him, they may have him likeable off the get go, but i know my scared fearful prey-animal self would be so unsure what to say to him

[38] What do they usually do or where do they go when they need to feel comfortable and safe?

He's most comfortable and safe at his gas station! he treats the whole place like his house. no one has the upper hand on him in there. he actually feels really vulnerable outside of the gas station, even to a certain degree in his own house, but he doesn't show it. bartenn is not one to ever let his guard down

[44] On a party, where would you find them?

most likely in a back corner with his friends, drinking and making idle smalltalk. he's not one for raging parties anymore- and he is NOT hitting the dance floor. dad is NOT breaking it down swagful style. he is not even going to try. his back hurts

MACHWELL i like this guy

[16] Do they easily rely on others to help them out, or prefer doing everything themselves?

Machwell really prefers doing everything himself. he hates asking for help...which sucks because he really does need a lot of help in a lot of aspects of his life. his main "problem solving" tactic is "lay down and don't move for days on end" but he's FINE he's handling EVERYTHING and he doesn't Want anyone getting in his space anymore; he doesn't like feeling incapable, it makes him scared. so. regardless. bartenn will help him anyway. he's careful to make sure machwell doesn't feel coddled, but just enough to keep him from rotting to death on his couch. bartenn is actually one of the first people machwell met when he moved to their town, when machwell was in need of some SERIOUS help, and he's been quietly helping quill ever since. and machwell is helping him too!

[40] How picky they are with food, do they have specific dietary requirements based on their health or culture?

Machwell is a moderately picky eater, he has a couple of set meals that he really likes (usually with highly acidic, bitter ingredients) and he likes a lot of "controversial" food like bleu cheese, eggplant, and beef liver,,,so he's not really a classic picky eater, he's just more of a guy who often forgets to eat and then gets crazy cravings for a whole jar of black olives at 4am. (and he eats a lot and i mean a LOT of pineapple....canned pineapple is his favorite. he loves how it makes his mouth hurt.) he is lactose intolerant tho. this is not a relevant fact but its something that i know

[49] Do they possess any unexpected skill or knowledge that surprises others, and otherwise, what is something anyone would assume they know or can do, but in fact they don’t?

A little known fact about Machwell is that he was going to be a realtor before his life went extremely downhill. he was in trade school for it and everything- he dropped out because his ex-girlfriend-then-ex-wife thought it was taking up too much of his attention and time. but yeah Machwell will just randomly know a lot about housing markets work. and he gave his youngest son his crazy good math brain to wrap around all the transactions.

now. i know what you're thinking. "Quail, Machwell does not seem to have a single skill that is useful for being a realtor" (good communication, people skills, personable, friendly, emotional intelligence, etc etc) i know.....i never said he was a GOOD realtor! just noting he was a lot of unexpected knowledge in that area :D

the silly grand finale

BARTENN AND MACHWELL

[56] How would they react to hearing a dirty joke? Bartenn loves making them, so assuming he's not the guy making it, he's laughing and egging it on. dirty jokes are just like dad jokes between dads (????)

Machwell takes them at face value.

[manicpixie-edits]

@/sweetkincafe edit prompt list number 37. "Most obscure source"

Es, Alter Ego

This one is a bit weird; Alter Ego is a mobile clicker game with themes of Freudian psychology. Specially the game is themed after the theory of the Id, Ego, and Superego. It's free, go play it!

[ccruelgods]

Society? Don't You Mean Yourself?

[self indulgent semi-vent fic. based on the clicker/self discovery game Alter ego.]

"Come back when you have saved up more EGO, and I will see you agai-"

"wait."

A pause. They could feel the eyes of the other on them. They didn't dare to look up to meet Her gaze.

"..Is there something wrong?" She asks, flipping the page of Her book. The book that She says She has read so many times before, yet doesn't even know if Her memories of reading it are true, or a delusion created in Her desperate attempt to stay sane.

"no. yes—no. not really. i just...have a question." they uttered, focusing their gaze on the bookshelf behind Her, on anything but Her Herself.

"Come back when you have gathered more EGO." She stated flatly, flipping another page. they shook their head wildly, their hat nearly falling off.

"it's important. please. i need to know or else—or else i might go insane!" they borderline begged, voice cracking as they gripped the pouch that lay at their waist for stabilization.

for a millisecond, they could've sworn they saw Her stiffen up, Her judgemental eyes softening briefly

But it was gone in the next second, as She sighed, marking Her place in the book with a finger and closing the book around it.

".....Yes?"

they exhale in relief, but the relief is short lived as the reason they're here is reminded to them.

"those....things, outside. the voices. ego r—the façade calls them whispers. right?"

they see Her eye twitch at the mention of The Façade, and Her only response is a curt nod. they take it as an invitation to continue, speaking in an almost unsure voice.

"if those are whispers...then who's the one whispering?"

there's a long silence, and they immediately cast their gaze back down, not wanting to see Her judgemental stare. a minute passes without a sound, and then, the sound of a page flipping makes them snap to attention, finally looking directly at the young woman.

She, ES, isn't looking at them. She's focused on her book again, face void of expression, as she gives a short response.

"Don't be ridiculous."

they feel themselves growing frustrated.

"no no no no. you called me a wanderer because im—well, wandering, and trying to rediscover myself." they gesture wildly in frustration, and her only reaction is a raised eyebrow, so they continue. "if im the wanderer, and i wander, then certainly the whispers have to come from a whisperer! who else is in here with us?!"

There's a quiet thud as She closes her book. There's another long, painful silence, and they finally dare to look up again.

ES isn't smiling, nor frowning. But her eyes are searching, piercing through them as if trying to see into their very soul for the answer to why they asked such a thing before she speaks again.

"There is nobody here but that Façade, and you and I."

She pauses, and for a moment, her look is almost pitying.

"Perhaps it is playing games with you in hopes to drive you insane—no. To drive you to conform to what it wants."

There's a hint of disgust in her voice, and before they can respond, she clears her throat.

"Come back when you've gathered some more EGO."

this time, they know they won't be permitted another question, and they sigh in defeat, pushing open the door from Her "room" and stepping back into the hallway, listening to the whispering voices once more.

'What Am I?'

[bbg100]

Okay now that it's been three years since I played it- alter ego (clicker game, mobile app) is actually good. But it's not at fucking all a good game for mental health.

In alter ego, you walk the bookshelves of a self reflective, story telling world, to a beautiful musical score.

This chick, Es, guides you and also occasionally says terrible odd and depressing things about being stuck in this world. Eventually she gets happy that you're around, and then promptly becomes unbearably clingy.

Seriously, imagine app notifications but with this illusion of a genuine emotional relationship. This shit hit my brain most foul.

Regardless, if you DONT listen to the app description

""Who am I?"

This game is for:

- Those who want to analyze their personality

- Those with an interest in literature, philosophy, or psychology

- Those who are continuously searching for themselves"

And treat the 'character' as not-you, it's very skillful depiction of a bizarre codependent love story.

Notice how I'm telling you to squint and hold this away from your face. This is because, this app picks from the crowd vulnerable people, and then make Es the Only One who Really Knows you. It's literally an emotionally abusive relationship, or at least I couldn't shake the feeling of being manipulated while I was playing it. Again, been years, might be blowing it out of proportion.

Es acts as a therapist, until she gets attached, and then she acts codependent and unstable. She quite literally has prompts for you to open up to her, she paints herself a victim of this world, and she praises you until she demands you. She is Marvelously written as a fucked up chick, and while I can't shake the disgust associated with marketing her at vulnerable soul searchers (same people cults market themselves to), I can't deny she is Very engaging. I think I would love her if her story wasn't attempting to become entangled with The Player (aka Me!).

Anyway don't play alter ego but maybe find a play through and study her like an ant. Make sure to aim the sun on her through the magnifying glass btw fuck her.

[corpseaten]

i agree, i have never understood the appeal of family reunions.... especially since so many of my family live near each other! can you not just visit each other normally? plus there are not many people in my family that i like and although our parents can talk for hours, me and my cousins always just end up sitting around awkwardly. i know, the year has gone by so fast!

i see, good luck with finishing those up. hopefully they will not be too bad. having a day of rest is always good! i am quite the opposite, in terms of media.... i tend to like things most people consider "bad" but if it appeals to me, it appeals to me. some things do not need a wide audience.. 

i can understand that.. i actually have some horrible social skills, but it is something i am generally capable of. do i enjoy it? no. do i mess up a lot and generally tend to make people uncomfortable? yes. though i do not really mind that second part. i am glad i do school online now, far less having to talk to people! i agree with you, breathing weirdly does not sound very good. i will not deny that i am a nerd! i most definitely am. i think being knowledgable about even 2d idols is admirable, as there is a lot to learn!! sometimes we get questions about video games, and i am always hoping we get a question about enstars. one day, maybe. and true! otherwise, we would take over the world.. or something of that kind. 

that is fair! and you are too kind.... my bio is actually a quote from one of my favorite games, alter ego.. it is a self-discovery clicker game that builds off of freud's theory of the id ego and super ego. it is very interesting and has been with me for a long time. plus es, the main character/guide, is very me at times. the quote itself is a monologue es has at the player during my first and favorite route.. i really connected with it. i hope you can get some sleep soon.!

That makes it even less pointless . . why have such a big gathering if you are in such close proxemity of each other ? is that not a waste of everybodies time? I have never met any cousin of mine, so I’m sure I would also be awkward with them, unless I know someone well, I do not approach for a conversation, nor do I really engage !

aaah thank you ! I wish I could have more days of rest, ideally, seven. This life is too difficult for me. That is true ! I struffle getting into nee things as if I don’t like it from the start, I cannot keep my attention on it, which is not very fun, most of my interests are not niche in the slightest because of it. I think it’s nice that you can like things and not care for what others think.

As do I , nobody taught me how to socialise so I just refuse to do it in most situations, making people uncomfortable is good as it means they’re less likely to bother you in future, i’ve done that with a few people before, mainly as they were not very nice . . but, it works. I may not be as good at reading people as I thought, I did not take you for a nerd at all ! I am the opposite, I do not store any logical information in my head, only my emotions, no room for anything else, sorry ! You may be right, the amount of things I know about some idol groups is genuinely worrying, someone needs to cut my brain open and study it. You might, it is pretty popular when it comes to idols, so, you never know. I wonder what I would do if i took over the world…probably ban work and school so I can bedrot all day . . you can take care of everything else in terms of world donination I am happy with my One demand.

aaaaah I have embarassed myself again. head in hands. I have heard of that game before actually, an old friend of mine once played it during our breaks in school, I never did myself though . . I also know the theory! I rarely understand things this is Crazy for me. It is a beautiful sounding monologue, I can see why it resonates with you . . it has a very you vibe. I did get some sleep . . just not much. I presume you are asleep as well right now, so, sleep well.

[mukuberry]

ooh, mukie have you played alter ego? i alwways wanted to play it but never got around to it because i didn't see much.. good reviews of it. how's the game? :<

Oh i really like it!!!! You should totally get it i think :] the gameplay is very cookie clicker like if ur into that... which im usually not but i still enjoyed it anyway 😌 the highlight of the game is the convos u have with Es though, shes very nice and u can play fun little quizzes with her.... i think the main thing that puts ppl off is u have to replay the game 3 times to get the best ending, and the 3rd rerun becomes very grindy;; the first 2 go by pretty quickly though and because the es convos r multichoice and change completely the further u get in the route, it didn't feel too repetitive for me :] but yrah the 3rd replay is kinda hard, but luckily the game automatically collects points even when ur not playing (u need points to unlock es convos) so its not too bad :3

The second game u have to pay for and imo isn't really worth it unless u get a lil obsessed with Es like i did after i played,, it mostly just adds a lil more to Es's character

ANYWAY yeah play it!!!

[diogeneswannabe]

INTRO POST

Welcome to whatever this is.

I guess I would consider myself an artistic person ??

☭ Name : Chris

☭ Age : 19 and regretting every life decision that led me here

☭ Gender : idk i gave up (afab, he/they)

☭ Nationality : French, Ivorian, "the whitest black kid" as my aunts call me 🤡

☭ Current profession : biology-chemistry student (help ;-;)

☭ Desired profession : ideally I'd like to be an independent researcher but I'll probaby become a monk or something if I fail my studies 💀

Actually I might become a monk even if I don't fail, idk yet

I really don't want a job :')

☭ Current objectives :

- become a writer ??

- find like-minded people to spread chaos over the world >:)

- reach enlightenment just to prove that I'm better than you

- Buy a flat in my favorite area of my hometown (i don't live there atm)

- open a coffee shop/library that's only open at night 🤩

- run an independant (and probably financially unstable) research lab

☭ Things I like : flowers, music, programming, philosophy, science, indie games, art and litterature...

☭ Current (wierd) obsessions : Spirituality/religion and self-exploration, finding my Dharma wtv it may be, fantasizing about the potential collapse of modern society and anything considered as controversial or rejected by society

I wonder what made my parents think I'd turn out normal...

PLAY ALTER EGO AND WATCH EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (i genuinely won't trust you if you don't appreciate these masterpieces >:( )

[cultistcrowmuerte]

Heyo! Just going to post some art here, because why not?

This is Es from Alter Ego, a self discovery clicker game. This drawing in particular took me about... A whole day if not more. (Ibis paint says about 25 something hours) but that's really all I have to say for now.

[aqueeraphale]

Seconding a LOT on this list and also:

Cozy Grove: a casual simulation game that works on real-time a la Animal Crossing. You are a Spirit Scout, tasked with tending your campfire Flamey and caring for the spirits haunting Cozy Grove. An extremely calm and tender therapy simulator that will occasionally absolutely knock you upside the head with emotions, I adore it.

Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights: a Metroidvania. You play as Lily, the last of the White Priestesses, who are able to purify and bring rest to spirits that have been blighted by the eternal Rain. Very much a melancholy game, and the atmosphere and visuals are absolutely gorgeous. Much like Hollow Knight, you piece together the lore of the world as you pass through it; unlike Hollow Knight, you do get in-game written notes to refer to. Still working on this one so I can't speak for the conclusion, but it seems very unlikely to be the kind of game that trips over its feet at the finish line.

Four Horsemen: visual novel about four marginalized teenagers living their lives. Heavily focused on examining racism; choices at the beginning influence what ethnicity the main cast are, I can't speak for every route but the Judaism based ones got me. Very heavy, take it slow, but I still quote this one to this day ("tomorrow together, or not at all").

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky: turnbased roguelite. "A fucking Pokemon game?" Yes, the DS era games did not fuck around. This game occupies the same space as Super Paper Mario, but this one is a bit more existential--about how long friendships can endure, and about how far someone is willing to go to make a better future. Maybe there's a bit of nostalgia lenses going on here but man, this one gets me.

The World Ends With You: another bizarre RPG from Tetsuya Nomura, who's behind a Lot of Square Enix properties. Definitely a rec tailored younger; it's explicitly at least 50% About being a teenager in the late 2000s/early 2010s. You play as Neku Sakuraba, a socially withdrawn and jaded teenager, who comes to in the middle of the street, intangible to passersby and under attack. It's...kind of difficult to explain the plot of this one without massive spoilers, but fuck if it didn't actively change my worldview when I was Going Through It as a traumatized and unmedicated middle schooler.

Alter Ego: definitely a more personal rec, but. Shortish mobile clicker game interspersed by personality quizzes and classical literature quotes. Uses Freudian psychoanalysis as a backdrop but you can think Freud was wrong about everything and still enjoy it. I can't quite Explain what got to me about this one but it's definitely dear to me.

moon: one of the games that inspired Toby Fox's works, and his support sparked enough interest for a recent port! It's a classic 90s adventure game in every way (weird, prerendered backgrounds with 3D models, very confusing puzzles but in a fun way?)? You travel through the world of a 90s JRPG, interacting with and assisting the creatures that the hero has gone ahead and slain. Also working on this one but I love it so far.

Also since you've played Toby Fox's games you've probably already looked into these but if not: the Mother series. Trust me everyone who's compared it to Undertale is on the right track.

By the way I'm looking for very specific games and your help is appreciated! Please let me know if you know a game which has one or several of the following criteria:

- Games that are overall poetic and story-driven

- Games about grief, mourning and/or depression, anxiety

- Games that feel like an experience and that you wish you'd be able to delete your memory to play again because you'll never feel the same

- Games that made you cry

[mysticmistral]

My friend did a challenge a while back with drawing eyes from characters from different fandoms. I just remembered it earlier and that I don't think we actually did it. She and I don't talk much anymore with her getting into a relationship but I wanted to draw anyways. So here ya go!

I don't know why the first left isn't on the horizonal position.

#1 Left - Emma from Pokemon X/Y

#2 Right: Six from Little Nightmares

#3: Azura from Fire Emblem Fates

#4 Left: Es from ALTEREGO

#5 Right: Android 21 from Dragon Ball Z

[lattuce]

I just wrote a completely self indulgent ficlet for a fandom of like 5 people

There’s not really a plot, just a convo between Es and the player, which I decided to use they/them pronouns for since I’m not good at writing in 2nd person

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a while since they both spoke, just enjoying each others’ presence while reading different books. Words weren’t needed anymore. Es no longer felt like their visits were out of pity rather than getting their own fulfillment from being with her; she no longer felt like she had to fill the silences with ramblings and questions. She did still love talking to them, but it wasn’t necessary anymore for their time together to feel worth it.

Though, she had a question that kept her from focusing on her book.

“If I was a butterfly, what kind would I be?”

“Well, why do you want to be a butterfly?”

Es went quiet as she contemplated, her book long forgotten in her lap. She looked around the room, the only room she’s even known, at filled bookshelves of stories she’s read tens of times.

“If I was a butterfly, I wouldn’t be able to read. So I don’t want to be a butterfly. But I keep having dreams filled with glowing blue butterflies swarming around me, as if expecting me to follow them.”

“Maybe you just want to fly.”

“Hm. Flying would be nice.” Her eyes drifted away from the books and landed on them, her wanderer. “But only if I could fly with you.”

She didn’t care anymore that all she could offer them were words. That didn’t make her love for them any less real. Of course, she wished she could do more, like give them gifts and hold them in her arms, but she had accepted that she can’t. Not right now anyway, not in this form.

“I don’t know yet what my existence is for, but being able to talk to you is purpose enough.”

“There’s more to you than your relation to me.”

“I know, but… if no one is there to acknowledge my existence, do I exist at all? I know, I know, we’ve had many conversations like this, and it’s impossible for there to be a correct answer. But it’s difficult to cease all contemplation of it when I have so much time to myself. I know you can’t be with me all the time. You have your own life and needs to attend to, and I cherish every second we spend together. But I still get lonely. I don’t want to, but I do.”

“That’s okay. It’s natural to feel lonely, especially when there’s no one else here to talk to. But, right now, I am here. You are not alone. Right now, we are together.”

Es gave them a warm smile. “Your words always make me feel like everything is going to be okay, no matter how long I have to wait.”

The quiet resumed after that, each going back to their books. And this time, Es could focus, her worries eased for now.

That night, the blue butterflies returned to her dreams, waiting for her to follow. She looked at them, smiled, and continued walking on, not needing to fly away with them to get where she wanted to be, even if she had to walk alone.