#also. will not be as much of a bitch if i do come back

[chiliconsharls]

So, I caved in and I did it in detail! A few days ago I posted a meme of the Charlos lore iceberg but then I had some people asking about some bits and I thought, oh, might as well make the whole masterpost. LOW AND BEHOLD, it is here; an extensive compilation of the rich Charlos lore

Below the cut because boy is this bitch long

DISCLAIMER: before we begin I must note a few things. First, this isn't a whole detailed timeline of Charles&Carlos' relationship and every single bit of their moments bc I would've genuinely gone insane, so, like with the iceberg meme, this is merely key details of their relationship that make ME particularly unwell. This is also almost 2K words long. Lastly, not all points are linked as some of them are rather quite simple to find with an easy Google search

They have the same name in different languages. (In fact, Carlos has explained that his ‘chilli’ nickname comes from the fact that a lot of his friends went from calling him ‘charlie’ to calling him ‘chilli’). Their name is of Germanic origin and it means “free man”. Charles is the French/English version of it, Carlos is the Spanish one.

Beginnings & Pre-Ferrari era (2017-2020)

“I knew you before you knew me” – Charles said he had heard about Carlos when he was coming up in racing while Carlos was competing in KF3 (2008-2009)

They were already hanging out by 2017, when Charles was still only a Ferrari academy driver – as told by a reddit user who works in the Yas Marina circuit and shared the story with a tiny Renault helmet signed by Carlos

“I said this guy’s not beating me, no fucking way” – Carlos in Drive to Survive S01E02 after his battle with Charles in the Azerbaijan GP. (Sidenote: The first episode of DTS dedicated to Charles –S01E08– also showcases a battle with Carlos briefly)

Marina Bay Sands pool story – in several instances now, they both have shared the story of their first meeting/first ‘real’ conversation back in 2018, during the race week of the Singapore GP. They both said they saw each other at the pool of Marina Bay Sands hotel (it’s still unclear whether they were inside the pool or just by), and they had dinner where they talked for a while.

Carlos’ said that that first conversation made him think Charles was a good guy but also that when he first talked to him, he seemed innocent

2018 Autosport Awards interview  – Charles is giving an interview about how his exciting new season is coming and Carlos pops in and tugs him by the ear, making as if to give him a little smooch

“Carlos! My future teammate!”

Ferrari era (paper & cotton years – 2021-2022)

Youngest Ferrari duo

Lord Perceval nickname is born – despite claims that Charles disliked the nickname Carlos gave him (as requested by Charles himself that Carlos ‘from now on, call me Lord Perceval”), Charles went on to have it as his personal tag on his cap –made for driver use only. He’s also used ‘Perceval’ as his aviator call sign when he did some training with the French Air Force.

Jenga challenge video

Fiorano music challenge – this is their core happy memory, as they have said a few times themselves

“I started to listen to some jazz in the mornings” “Jazz?”

Chess – chess is one core activity they do. They would play a lot, even online. Charles would even stop talking to Carlos when he lost sometimes, and Carlos has stated that he only plays it with Charles.

Charles’ said Carlos plays better at night, and he plays better in the morning to evening. “The flights together are probably the ones I enjoy the most (...) we will put our phones away and play chess. That’s where we have the most interesting and deep conversations and I have really, really good memories of that”

“You haven’t showered together?” “We’re not that close yet” // “I find you spontaneously funny” “Carlos doesn’t do anything but he makes me laugh” – Sky Sports game interview in 2021

Charles going to watch Carlos on the podium in Monaco – Carlos talked later in 2024 about how much it meant for him to see Charles there

“Mate! You are looking at me!”

Red porn couch debriefs videos – not much to say, tbh, Ferrari sat them in a sus red couch to shoot the debrief post-race videos. Some of them are quite something

“Come on, Charles, don’t do this!” – Carlos’ radio in Saudi Arabia ‘21

Jean Alesi calling them ‘la bella coppia’ (“the beautiful couple”) // also, Jean Alesi doing photoshop manips when Charlos fought in 2024

Carlos: “good looking couple” “we make a good couple” “most beautiful pair”

Carlos showing off his strength to Charles in that Ferrari party thing

Everything that was written in the GQ article (by Tom Lamont) as well as the photoshoot

Calling each other beautiful

Charles sharing a sandwich with Carlos

Them calling each other ‘sweetie’, ‘honey’, ‘baby’, ‘love’ // ‘like this or more, darling?’ // ‘thank you, my love’  

Bahrain 1-2

Carlos checking in on Charles before his post-race interview in Monza 22’ despite being told he had to go some other place

Ferrari era (leather & forced divorce – 2023-2024)

Football watching together (despite the fact that Charles’ said he doesn’t really follow football) // “Yes, Carlos will be really happy” – Charles after someone asked him if he watched El Clasico and Real Madrid had won that time

Paddle playing too

“Can I choose the position he needs to be in? Take off your clothes, Carlos!”

The gingerbread cookies video

“He loves me” – the whole shell challenges in Zandvoort actually

Talked about racing Le Mans

Charles being jealous of Lando

“Together or nothing. We come as a package”

Charles hiding in Carlos’ closet to surprise him for his birthday

Monza 23’ battle

The Curious Case of Charlos and Pierre Gasly’s PR accusations – During a fan forum in the Singapore GP ’23 weekend, Carlos joked that he would’ve picked Charles to be stuck with in a deserted island, saying: “You see, I would’ve picked Charles, Esteban, I like my teammate” (because Esteban had been asked the same question just before and upon being told he wasn’t allowed to pick his own teammate, Esteban jokingly went: “I wasn’t going to pick Pierre anyway”).

Pierre and Esteban Ocon had a rocky relationship as teammates in Alpine, on top of having an already complicated past together since they’ve known each other since they were kids. Nearing the end of 2023 season, after Pierre (and Esteban) had been criticized for their poor relationship, Pierre talked about friendships in the paddock in an interview and he name-dropped Carlos and Charles, claiming that people “shouldn’t think that they’re all friends”. Despite Pierre having also named Mercedes and Red Bull pairs, people seemed to only latch onto Charlos

It’s important to note that Pierre Gasly is the driver Charles is famously closest to in the whole grid (as they’ve been friends since childhood) but also, he was teammates with Carlos in Toro Rosso for two races in 2017, and is fairly one of the drivers that are close-ish to Carlos as well. In fact, Pierre sometimes hangs with both of them, too.

Puma couch picture we never got the context of

Fred: “are you still single?” Carlos: *looks at Charles* “anyway, changing subject…” – DTS S06E08 // (Sidenote: theres some joking that Charles’ current girlfriend, Alexandra Saint Mleux, and Carlos’ current girlfriend, Rebecca Donaldson, seem to have a slight resemblance to Carlos and Charles, respectively (and the girls also seem to get along quite well))

New York event

Charles timing Carlos’ laps

“I want to give this to you, so you remember me for the rest of your life. For our post teammate era” // “You’re going to leave it there” “No, I won’t" – Carlos gifting him a chili plushie.

“Tell Charles to come close to me and we celebrate this one together” – Australia 24’

China Sprint 24’ incident: “He’s fighting me harder than the rest” // “A kiss on the mouth, everything okay”

Spanish reporter calling them roommates

Insane sim racing videos (almost all of them have some degree of craziness but specially Saudi Arabia, Austria, Dutch, Monza, COTA, Brazil)

Both of them thinking about their morning wood live on camera… then Carlos knowing Charles’ a sleepy guy

Miami merch promo video being cut just right as Carlos seems to go for Charles’ face

“We go from hating each other to loving each other real quick” – actually, that whole motorsport interview for Miami was awesome

Spain 24' inchident - Charles: “He was trying to do something extraordinary because it’s his home race and important moment in his career” // Carlos: “It’s too many times he complains about something”

“Charles and I have one or two ding-dongs a year”

“We look at each other and we smiled like we’re used to” // “We look at each other in the eyes and we understand immediately”

Gladiator II premiere

“Complicate me. Complicate my life, like you always do”

Charles letting Carlos drive his Ferrari in Monaco and show Carlos Sr

“I wanna smash you”

Carlos grabbing Charles’ balls in Mexico 24’

“You should try the chilli crab … I am the chilli crab”

“Try in Spanish” – Charles post Vegas 24’

“Carlos is not my girlfriend, I’m not gonna miss him like crazy”

“I would listen to you for hours”

Abu Dhabi 24’ radio: “it hurts a lot… I really wish we could’ve won it also for the last season with Carlos”

Charles goodbye to Carlos: “Now, I can call him a friend outside of racing” // Charles calling him 'chilli' in IG post (Carlos' said his personal friends call him chilli)

“I wouldn’t be the driver I am today if he hadn’t been my teammate”

“I was happy with Charles. I would’ve continued with Leclerc for life”

“Amazing four years fighting for Ferrari” — Carlos on IG

Fred: “I have never in all my time of racing seen two teammates so intensely preoccupied with what the other one is doing”

Charles being in Fiorano for Carlos’ last farewell with his father driving a Formula 1

Timeless traditions/Uncategorized info

Starting almost all videos with: “Helloooo” “hola”

“Are you ready?” “I’m always ready, Carlos”

Zero concept of personal space

Charles often looks smaller than Carlos despite actually being taller

Hand size difference

Yapper & Yapper

Carlos’ love language is physical violence

Carlos –a self-proclaimed butt guy— often taps Charles’ butt

They had 9 podiums and three 1-2s

They had 90 races together and never crashed

They’re each other’s longest teammates as of date

[weirdero]

I’ve seen a lot of people speculating that Gemma’s storyline will lead to a cloning reveal, which like, it’s a decent theory and wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. But god, this show is so specific and detail oriented Ben Stiller himself has even said nothing in the show is a coincidence. The cloning theory has also been shut down a couple times by some producers and writes from what I understand and idk I feel like a cloning reveal would just be so boring. And honestly, I don’t know if this is insane, but I’m fully leaning towards the idea that when it comes to Ms. Casey/Gemma, it’s more of a resurrection situation.

Okay so hear me out I believe our Ms. Casey is still physically Gemma her original body, her bones, her blood she’s alive baby that’s her but like also it’s not her. It’s like in horror or fantasy stories when a character dies and comes back but comes back wrong YK?. Physically it’s still them but it’s not them. In my opinion, her brain has been completely reset, wiping away whatever kind of person she used to be.

To back this theory I’ve been heavily leaning on the interaction between Ms. Cobel and Helena in the parking lot and just the general existence of the Mammalian Nurturable department.

Now, I might be reading into this too much, but I just love these characters so much and this show so please bear with me, this is a long one.

this season Harmony/Ms. Cobel is a problem. Like there is just no way she isn’t. Lumon is already struggling to keep it together after the scandal the main four caused, and a change in management isn’t helping. People are (probably) starting to pay attention, and they do not need that kind of heat. Ms. Cobel literally crashing tf out making herself homeless and sneaking around in the dark probably isn’t helping.

Helena’s choice of words have always stood out to me. She’s calculated, smart, and precise in how she speak just like Harmony. Both of them are masters at saying exactly what they need to without ever outright saying it yk? So when she she spots Cobel in the parking lot in the middle of the night she clocks her immediately.

Harmony walks out as if she still has a job in that bitch and has the audacity to tell Helena what her needs are and exactly how they should be met. And in my opinion, Helena is appalled but not surprised. She calls her out on her behavior.

“I hear ego, hubris, and arrogance. Kier teaches us they only cause pain.”

To me, this isn’t just a read it’s a warning. Harmony doesn’t take it. She bites back, calling Helena a NEPOTISM BABY. wild.

And I mean look at Helena’s face.

So Helena lays it out for her as plainly as possible

“We didn’t have to ask you back.”

No translation even needed, she just said it flat out Baby, we don’t need you here. You do not, no matter what you think, represent us. You are not Lumon.

And Harmony, being just as cunty clocks her shit right back

“You didn’t have a choice.”

At this point, Ms. Cobel isn’t just skating on thin ice she’s walking across a frozen lake in metal combat boots, her ass skipping around as if the ice won’t break. And that’s her mistake.

Helena, after giving Harmony multiple chances to walk away. Multiple chances to come back in on lumons terms. Multiple chances to stop playing in her fucking face, finally pulls back with a kind smile and offers her a chance to “restart”.

As they walk towards the car, Ms. Cobel locks eyes with Helena’s bodyguard and the instant terror is actually insane. Full deer in headlights.

A lot of people saw that shot and took it as a straight-up Sopranos esque death threat like, if she gets in that car, she’s not gonna survive the drive (RIP Audriana). And sure, it could be as simple as that, but this show is just way too good for it to be that simple.

I think Cobel recognizes the bodyguard. She knows him and I mean like fr knows him.

I saw a theory on Reddit suggesting that the bodyguard might be someone she knew maybe a former coworker, someone from her personal life (they suggested it could’ve been someone she was super close with before she even became the woman we know today) idk just somebody she knows knows and out of nowhere suddenly, he’s here, presented as Helena’s bodyguard. But it’s not him. It’s his skin, his bones, his blood but it’s not HIM.

And the way it plays out, it doesn’t seem like the bodyguard recognizes her at least not in the same way she knows him. That stare man that stare. I didn’t even know Harmony could experience fear. Who knows, maybe in that moment she’s reflecting on everything that’s happened. She bitched out the boss’s daughter in this empty ass parking lot on the brink of a mental break down, and suddenly there’s a chance to start over. All she has to do is get in that car, with that man, talk to the higher-ups, and hit the “reset” button.

Basically my theory is that Lumon are essentially grave robbing the fuck out of that town. Taking people who have been in serious accidents car crashes, house fires, construction site falls, factory explosion, hell even a drive by. I also think they’re also taking drug addicts, the homeless people who have no loved ones looking out for them, or even looking for them at all, the ones who are confirmed to be gone in every way, physically or emotionally. They’re taking these people and giving them a full system reset rebooting the computer.

By doing this, Lumon gets to create a free labor force that works 24/7 without question or resistance, exploiting people who have no emotional ties or support systems. Blank slate baby! They’re also using these individuals as test subjects for whatever weird shit they wanna launch out as a new product.

This helps explain a lot of the weird shit going on with the employees at Mammalian Nurturable. They look so rough and are also really off-putting towards outsiders. Which is understandable but I genuinely believe they haven’t even “clocked out” in days, if not ever.

Even though this theory makes the most sense to me, It still has its plot holes like if Gemma isn’t a clone and it’s her “resurrected” where does she go when she’s not her innie. In Season 1, she tells Mark she’s only conscious as her innie for a couple of minutes at a time, and the longest she’s ever stayed “alive” was the 8 hours she spent with his department. So where tf is she if not there as Ms Casey i don’t know man I do not know.

Anyways I have some other general curiosities about the town itself and why Lumon decided to build their main building there. I saw a TikTok video of someone saying it reminded them of company-built towns like Hershey Pennsylvania or Kodak Town, and I agree. Anywho I love this show so much it hurts I hope it never dies I literally missed having an obsession this intense I hope it gets all the love and awards it deserves!!

[misayani]

LOVE SONG — THANOS (PLAYER 230)

◜ pairing ... thanos (choi su-bong) / player 230 x  fem reader

◜ how does it feel, to be here? cold and lonely.

𔗨 author's note — yayyy a non smut fic from misa !!! noooo, it's angst:( this is short !! and ALSO THANK U SO MUCH FOR 1,015 FOLLOWERS ??? thats a lot lot and im vv thankful for each and every single one of you, ily [lowercase intended]

🧷 𝓜isa mentions — @joc3lynx @mymel1008 @justredsw @wlvlurvsfimmia @azansstuff @dvrk-hoon @yersang-dreams @keiradg01

— angst, comfort if you squint

hard rain drops echoed through the empty halls of your apartment, the smell of cigarettes lingering in the cold air, as you stood in the middle of the living room.

your eyes stare at the cardboard boxes in front of you for a moment, and then to the shattered empty vodka bottles on the wooden floor.

you looked completely disheveled—dark circles weighed heavily beneath your eyes, your hair completely untouched and unkept, and you wore nothing but an oversized white shirt and a pair of underwear.

disgusting. you reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. it's ironic how your achromatopsia—your complete color blindness—makes this experience even better.

your eyes dart to your phone laying on the floor as it starts suddenly ringing, su-bong's name flashing across the screen. are just imagining things or is it really him?

a smile forms on your dry, pale lips, the skin cracking but it did not bother you at the moment, as you approach the vibrating phone, absolutely not caring about how the shattered glass cut through your skin as you walked across it, blood seeping out of the cuts.

you immediately answered the call and brought the phone close to your ear

"su-bong? su-bong!" your heart skips a beat, "honey please come back! i know i promised that i won't ever drink anymore, but i missed you too much." your voice breaks,

"i- i don't even know where you are... please, su-bong, tell me, so i can find you! oh how i missed you so mu—"

"knock it off, crazy bitch!" a rough voice slices through, the man's voice filled with venom and disdain as he spats at the other end of the call. "do you know the trouble i went through just to get your fucking number?!"

the words hit you like a slap. you blink, disoriented, your chest tight with shock and confusion. his words echo in your mind as you struggle to comprehend. then— "i'm going to hunt you down and fucking gut you if you don't pay off your boyfriend's de—"

"fuck you! fuck you!" you scream, voice raw with anger. your hand shaking as you slam your thumb against the end call button.

the sound of the call disconnecting only amplifies the silence that follows. but it's not a silence of relief, it's worse. 

your body trembles as the tears break free, rolling down your pale cheeks. you wipe at your face repeatedly but it doesn't result to any better, the tears keep coming. 

you pulled your knees up to your chest, curling into yourself as you absentmindedly scrolled through your phone, your thumb brushing over the screen before clicking on something.

a hiccup escaped from your lips as you pressed the phone to your ear. 

"senorita, are you crying again?" su-bong's voice cut through the silence as you kept quiet, your eyes empty as they stared away to the gray surroundings that felt like were closing in.

you finally heard his voice. you finally heard his voice.

"cmon, don't cry." his voice continued, "you know i don't like seeing my princess cry." 

despite the warmth in his voice, the emptiness in your chest deepened. 

"i miss you." you manage to force out, your voice barely above a whisper, the words feel heavy, like a weight pressing against your chest, but you let them escape anyway, desperate for him to hear them.

"awww, that's my girl! i knew you would cheer up with candy." his voice cooes, soft and comforting, but soon it fades as you slowly pull the phone away from your ear. 

you stare at it blankly, the colors from the screen falling upon your eyes that couldn't see color, as your thumb hovers over the pause button of the recorded video.

in the video, su-bong's smile flashes on the screen, a moment frozen in time, his face filled with warmth as he engulfed you in a hug, laughing softly as you struggle to open the candy packaging.

the simple joy of the moment was captured and to be kept forever. the memory tugs at something deep inside you, but all you could see was gray.

your heart hammered inside your chest as the realization hits you like a bullet shot through your body. 

su-bong is dead. su-bong is dead. stop being fucking delusional.

you force the words into your mind, repeating them over and over. you try to shake the lingering hope, but it was useless. 

then, a small pool of blood slowly spread beneath your feet, its dark color stark against the ground. 

you scoffed, finding the whole situation fucked and funny. but it was getting so damn overwhelming, you felt like a bomb, you could explode in any minute.

you couldn't tell what hurt more—the raw sting of your cut feet or the hollow, suffocating truth that the man you loved most was really gone.

the pain in the soles of your feet throbbed, but it paled in comparison to the ache spreading through your chest, a deep, gnawing emptiness that nothing could fill. 

the absence of su-bong—the hole he left—feels like it's swallowing you whole. then another truth settles in; you're so fucked.

the debts he left behind? they're yours now. and somehow, you know it's never going to end.

@misayani

[oh-no-its-bird]

Very rare nsfw Bird au !! Pls do not interact if ur a minor or I'll fucking kill myself, and then no one will get anymore Naruto content because I'll be dead

So, you know that one type of fic that's like "Tobirama sleeps Madara in an attempt to calm him the fuck down / give him something to focus on / tie him to the village so he will be less likely to leave or self destruct" ?

Ok so THAT. but now throw Hikaku in there to help. They are teaming up to try and tie Madara down before he doom spirals

Ok so. Hikaku and Tobirama talk about how they're worried about Madara's looming self implosion / mental state

Tobirama is like "don't worry, I'll take care of this."

And Hikaku is kinda press x to doubt but also kinda "alright, good luck"

Only for a couple days later Madara to seem to calm down / have become dramatically more smug and peaceful.

So, yk, Hikaku is like "woah, Senju-sama what did you do? Whatever it was, keep it up, this is wonderful I haven't seen him so level in months."

And Tobirama is like "Hmm. Yes. Letting him have his way with me certainly did seem to help calm him, didn't it?"

And Hikaku is like record scratch car crash noises "letting him WHAT."

So Tobirama explains that yeah, he let Madara fuck him. A lot. Also he would NOT shut up during it, which Tobirama also just kind of let happen which also seemed to help...? Double time therapy, I guess

And Hikaku is like. Head in his hands. If it works it works...? He guesses...? Oh my god he wish he didn't know this tho

BUT THEN.

Tobirama is gone for a week on a mission, and Madara is looking pretty bad. Like, sharp decline, he is in a bad way. And Hikaku, panicking, is like "oh fuck what would Tobirama do" and then ends up throwing himself at Madara out of desperation

It works !! Surprisingly well !! There were a couple hiccups at first maybe, but Madara and Tobirama were never exclusive or anything (and Madara might have partially agreed out of spite for Tobirama)

Madara calms down, Hikaku is left with his head spinning and very "fuckkkkk ok, too late to back out now. It worked, we are commiting"

Tobirama comes back and is pleased, less work for him. Good job Hikaku, he knew u were a real one

Now, this is purely tactical for Tobirama (at that point) it's a strategic fuck to calm Madara down, with a bonus of usually being good for him.

So he is pleasantly surprised Hikaku backed him up. He would have thought Hikaku might try and find someone else to throw at Madara, the fact he would sacrifice himself only further proves his loyalty to the village in his eyes

Hikaku one of the real ones fr, Tobirama's trust and respect in him is on the rise

Hikaku still has his head in his hands as he digests the fact this is his life now

Meanehile: In Madara's little world, rhe senju bastard AND his hot most loyal man in the world are throwing themselves at him. He is convinced he's winning.

And like, he is, to be fair. But only because of the mental illness

Madara is sitting around creating convoluted soap opera plot lines for the three of them in his head.

Like, he's imagining Hikaku and Tobirama office cat fighting over him, one of them getting jealous over the other, competing for his attention and affection. Two of Konoha's most powerful, well respected, high ranking shinobi... and they are fighting over Madara... he's so back..

Meanwhile Tobirama and Hikaku are telling eachother ab their recent Madara interactions and going "oh good, that should keep him calm for a few days" and nodding at eachother like "we are in this mess together, my brother in arms"

So, Madara ends up noticing the vibes in that corner and then he possibly ends up getting jealous of them spending too much time alone together (they are strategizing on what to do with/to him next) and gets even more pouty and mad even after they fuck, because "I bet this bitch was thinking about Tobirama/Hikaku the whole time >:(

(Meanwhile, Madara was the one thinking about the other the whole time. Mostly in the context of them joining them)

He finally snaps and rejects one of Tobirama's advances while saying something stupid shit like "why don't u just go sleep with HIKAKU, since I know thats where you REALLY wanna be. You think I haven't noticed you sneaking around with him, huh? Huh? Whore."

And Tobirama is like "are we seriously doing this now? Is this seriously what we are doing? Ok."

And Tobirama and Hikaku now have to strategize to come on to Madara TOGETHER or smthn, or at minimum put on some sort of production to feed into his sudden insecurities so they can guide him out of them

Madara meanwhile remains suspiciously fixated on the idea of them sleeping together (without him!!!! How dare they!!!!)

All of that is to say:

Tobirama and Hikaku end up sleeping together for Madara and having to put on a big show of it just to make Madara feel like he still has the power here.

Tobirama is largely indifferent to this turn of events, Hikaku remains "oh my god how is this my fucking life" but also "well. It's for the greater good, I guess. Not like it's a horrible fate for me."

So anyways: Hikaku and Tobirama alliance to try and calm Madara the fuck down via fucking and letting him fuck them. Pass it on.

[anorlondo00]

I do not care at all about sports and the sum total of my knowledge about American football is what I remember from reading Eyeshield 21 fifteen plus years ago, BUT. I am now invested in the football AU. Ace and Luffy are the mascots of the team and everyone loves them. They can do no wrong in Oyaji's eyes and he will let them get away with murder. In return, both of them are seriously devoted to making the team The Best EverTM. The first time the Whitebeards saw Ace throw a hail mary pass they swore it was going way too wide until Luffy tore down the whole length of the field, leapt like the monkey he is higher than anyone thought possible and slammed that ball down. Now the Whitebeards know to expect anything.

Also in my head Ace is the canon 2-3 years older than Luffy, and while he only became his legal guardian upon turning 18, he has helped raised him and the Whitebeards do a double-take every time responsible Ace comes out. Before Luffy joins the team Ace has to beg early off practice to go to a parent-teacher conference. After they're both on the team Ace still makes him PB&J sandwiches after practice, unruffled by doing it in front of everyone in the locker room.

Bootleg Marineford is a game where everyone (and especially Ace, under a lot of pressure) has been physically and mentally wrung out. The Marines team keep trying to sack Ace and get closer and closer, but Marco digs in his heels and makes an impassable barrier of himself. Until there's a crack in the line... And a small opening forms where Teach, who has been fighting with everyone recently, but especially Whitebeard and Ace, stands. Offensive player Akainu, who probably weighs twice what Ace does, hits him like an avalanche. Ace goes down. When Akainu is finally dragged off him, he stays down.

Luffy and Whitebeard are sprinting across the field toward Ace, but Marco's mind has hit the blue screen of death. There's nothing but static behind his eyes as he stares at his fallen quarterback.

The game is suspended and put up for a rematch. Neither Ace nor Marco, who did his level best to murder Akainu right there on the field, play.

(Ace is eventually fine, but now knows up front and personal the effects of a long-term concussion).

Claims not to know that much about American football, proceeds to clearly and accurately describe the exact plot I was also imagining—

YES! Are you KIDDING ME? This is perfect, I’ve got more

They don’t call him ‘Fire Fist’ for nothing, the kid throws missiles. The way Ace and Luffy find each other across an entire football field drops most people’s jaws.

Luffy will track the ball wherever Aces throws it. If Luffy get’s hurt in a collision catching the ball, Ace firmly believes that’s his fault.

That being said, Luffy is notoriously indestructible.

Bootleg Marineford: (That’s a hilarious thing to call it btw)

There was a flag thrown the second Ace got hit. Yes, it was Teach’s fault for leaving an open window. And. Akainu was needlessly brutal. Whitebeard was cursing him out before they even hit the ground.

Luffy was incredibly protective over Ace while he was unconscious. There were cameras everywhere.

Marco needed three people to pull him off Akainu. Instead of apologizing, he later told the media he’d gladly do it again.

Ace is out for the rest of the season. He’s absolutely devastated. That being said, he stood on the sidelines for every game.

Physical and neurological therapy were a bitch. Lots of ‘long talks’ with Pops.

Of course, Ace comes back to the field as soon as he’s better. Now, playing with the most overprotective offensive line you’ve ever seen in your life.

Thank you for writing this, it was so much fun to read!! And there’s a lot I didn't even mention like the adjusted age gap (perfect for this) and parent teacher conferences— I love it all!

[munsonsmixtapes]

I Have You Strung, Strung in My Web

Billy Hargrove x Hopper!reader

You and Billy try to make it clear that you want more, but you keep missing each other.

part one

The bed shakes and squeaks as Billy pounds into this girl-what what her name? Jamie? Jackie? Definitely something with a J, but that doesn’t matter. Her usually just calls her “bitch” and she responds to that quite well.

She’s responding exactly the way he wants her too, so close to coming, but he doesn’t care. He actually couldn’t give less of a fuck. He’s only going this to get over you. He knows the only way to get over someone is to get under-well in this case, on top of-someone else.

But it’s not working. In fact, all he can think about is you and the way you made him feel so good. He wants that again. He wants it so bad but he’s not going to ask you not matter how much he wants to.

You have to initiate it because if Billy does, he’s gonna look like a goddamn pussy. He wouldn’t even know how to initiate it. He’s always the one being approached, and he certainly doesn’t fuck the same girl twice. That’s not who he is.

Then what makes you so different? Why are you the one he wants to break all his rules for? He doesn’t know but he wishes he did, wishes he could make sense of his feelings. Because being around you makes him feel like he can be himself. He doesn’t have to put on that persona he does with everyone else.

He zones back in as the girl finishes and he’s never been so eager to pull out, so he does. He didn’t even come and for the first time, he doesn’t care. He just wants her out so he can be left alone.

Thankfully, she knows her place and is quick to leave without even so much as a goodbye. Billy just stands there, facing his closet, now feeling like he needs a shower. He really needs to wash off this girl’s perfume along with the entire experience because now he feels dirty.

He heads to the bathroom and as soon as the faucet is turned on, he immediately feels a lot better. He stands there as the steam fogs up the mirror and as he wipes it away and looks at his reflection, he can’t help but think that he doesn’t recognize himself. Is that a smile he sees? Who hell is that staring back at him? He has no idea but he kind of likes it.

He gets into the shower and feels himself relax. In here, no one can bother him. Not his dad, not Susan or Max, and especially not you. Then why are there flashes of the two of you showering together in his mind?

He wants to have you pinned against the wall as he fucks you senseless, showing you who’s really in control. He let you take over that one time, but if he were to fuck you again, he’d be the one in charge. That’s how he operates, how he likes it. How he needs it. He has say about anything else in his life so sex is what he relies on in order to have some control.

After he’s out of the shower, he’s thinking about calling you. You told him not to be a stranger, but he’s nervous to actually give you a call. He also doesn’t want to go ask Max for your number because he’s sure that she’ll tease him about it.

He wonders if you’ll be home if he just shows up. Or maybe Chief Hopper will be there and grill him about his intentions with you. Yeah, he doesn’t want that. He knows your dad doesn’t approve of him, that much is clear. He’s been arrested for so many fights that he’s seen Jim Hopper more than his own father.

What would Jim say if he knew what Billy and his daughter had gotten up to the other night? He definitely wouldn’t make it out of the cabin alive if he ever found out. Because you’re Jim’s little girl and he’ll always think of you as such no matter how old you get.

He decides against contacting you altogether as he gets dressed. He wouldn’t know what to do or say and figures that you’ll reach out eventually. At least, he really hopes so.

“So you really went and did it?” Steve sighs as he looks at you from where he’s sitting on his couch. He’s there for your Friday night movie you do every week and the two of you are just waiting for the others to show up.

“Yep,” you nod, knowing that he has no interest in hearing anything about it and you respect that.

“Gross,” he grimaces. “Did you…enjoy it?” He honestly just wants to make sure you’re safe and that’s it. He feels like your older brother sometimes even though you’re the same age. He just wants to protect you.

“I did, actually,” you nod, trying really hard to keep the smile off your face. “ And he did too. I sense that he’ll be calling me any minute now.” You glance at the watch on your wrist. Billy hasn’t called you all weekend which doesn’t surprise you. Calling isn’t really his thing and you don’t care anyway. You guess it was only meant to be a one time thing.

“Yeah, good luck with that pipe dream,” Steve scoffs.

“It could happen.” You’ve now crossed your arms over your chest and Steve can’t help but laugh at your optimism.

“Need I remind you that we’re talking about Billy Hargrove. He’s not me.”

“And thank god for that,” You reply as a knock sounds at the door. You head over and open it to see Robin on the other side. You usher her inside and take the six pack of beer she’s carrying as she follows you inside.

Steve takes the beer from you and takes them to the kitchen, leaving you alone with Robin. The two of you take a seat on the couch as you wait for the others to arrive. Robin is someone you feel like you can tell absolutely anything to. There are things you can discuss with her that you just can’t talk about with Steve.

You want to tell her the truth about Billy. That you’re convinced he’s the best you’ve ever had and you’re desperately waiting for him to call you. But you don’t. You can’t. You know how much she dislikes Billy and you supposed she has a right to because it’s for the same reasons why you hated him.

But now that you’ve slept with him, you’ve seen a different side of him. It was softer and gentler and you wonder why he’s not like that all the time. You’re sure that he could get more women into bed if he behaved just a little bit more like Steve. But the day that happens is the day Hell freezes over.

“So what’s new with you?” She asks, scooting closer just in case there’s something you want to say that you don’t want Steve to hear.

“Just been reading,” you reply, which is partially true. You have been reading a lot. So much so that you’ve already finished all the books you own and had to buy a couple more to hold you the last couple weeks of summer.

She eyes you suspiciously and you know that she can tell that there’s something you’re not telling her. She always can. But your lips stay zipped. She’s not getting anything out of you. And you can’t imagine how she would react when you told her that you slept with Billy Hargrove.

“What have you been up to?” You ask, giving her a little nudge. “How has it been with Vicky?”

“Really good,” she replies and you can see a blush creeping up on her cheeks.

“Good,” you nod. “I’m really happy for you, Rob.”

“And I’m happy for you,” she nudges you back. “With whatever you’ve got going on.” She winks then stands from the couch. “I’m gonna go get a drink.”

“Robin-“ you’re about to chase after her, but there’s another knock at the door before you can. Nancy, Jonathan, Argyle, and Eddie are on the other side, all holding what you asked them to bring except for Eddie who always conveniently forgets every time. You’re not even sure why you even ask anymore.

You usher them all inside and once all of the snacks are on the coffee table, they all take their favorite spots in Steve’s living room. You’re on the couch next to Steve and he starts up the movie which just so happens to be a horror movie that he’s actually terrified to watch.

As you look around at your friends, you hate that you’re wishing that Billy would call, even worse, that you want him right next to you as you cuddle into his chest. You want to cuddle into his chest at the particularly scary parts as he comforts you, telling you that he;s going to be okay as he rubs your back sympathetically. What is wrong with you? Why are you even thinking about him in that way? You slept with him once and automatically think he’d want to be your boyfriend? This is Billy Hargove and Billy most certainly doesn’t have girlfriends.

-

Billy keeps to himself the rest of the day. He doesn’t even go to work because he’s afraid of running into you. He doesn’t want to do something he’ll regret like telling you that he likes you or something. He just holes up in his room and thinks about nothing but you, wondering what you’re up to, if you’re thinking about him like he is about you.

You’ve fucked with his head, used some sort of sorcery on him because he’s never felt this way about anyone before. He wants to see you so badly, even just a glimpse will help. So before he can stop himself, he’s throwing on his shoes and hurrying out the door so fast that Susan isn’t even able to ask him where he’s going. To be honest, he doesn’t even know.

But when he pulls up to your house, he realizes just how crazy he is. Why is he showing up unannounced? He could have at least had the decency to call first. But that’s not him. It’s just like Billy to randomly show up without even so much as a phone call. He doesn’t know why, but he just feels like you deserve better.

He nervously knocks on the door and is taken aback when Jim Hopper answers the door. He looks like he really doesn’t want to be bothered and Billy is so close to just making a run for it. Jim is standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, surely wondering what the hell Billy Hargrove is doing at his house.

“Hargrove,” Jim greets and Billy nods, putting on his most charming smile even though he knows it won’t work here.

“Jim, hi.”

“That’s Chief Hopper to you,” he crosses his arms over his chest. “Now what do you want?” Billy really is considering leaving because he actually doesn’t know what he’s doing. But then he sees a tiny glimpse of his sister and for once, he’s actually grateful for her existence.

“I’m actually here to pick up my sister. Dinner is soon and Susan wanted to make sure that she was home for it.” He’s smiling even weirder now, so proud of himself coming up with that on the fly.

“Max,” Hopper calls out to the girl and she’s quick to head over to him, her eyes widening at seeing her brother at the Hopper residence twice in one week. “Your brother is here to pick you up.” He says the words like he doesn’t believe Billy and he doesn’t. But he’s going to let him off the hook. This time, at least.

Max heads out the door and as soon as it’s closed, leaving her alone on the porch with her brother. She glares at him, one of the few people who can see through Billy’s bullshit. He’s up to something and she knows exactly what it is. It’s no secret that there’s something going on between the two of you and she’s going to do everything in her power to get the two of you together. Why you would willingly want to spend time with Billy, though, she has no idea.

But if she’s going to help him, he’s going to do something for her. That’s the deal, the only way any of this is going to work. It’s going to take a lot of work to make Billy boyfriend material, a chore in itself, for sure. She wonders how much she can get from him if he offers to help. Because at this rate, he’s going to need all the help he can get.

“What the hell was that?” She finally asks as she follows him down the steps. He’s walking so fast that she can barely keep up.

“Nothing,” he replies as he throws the driver’s side door open, Max heading over to the passenger seat.

“Nothing, right,” she winks as she gets into the car and for once, Billy actually makes sure that she’s fully in the car before he speeds down the road.

-

You and Steve finish cleaning up his very messy living room after the movie. You’re the only ones left. Steve’s going on and on about how unrealistic the movie was. But you’re not listening. You’re wondering why Billy hasn’t called and you don’t know why you care. Clearly it was only meant to be a one-time thing and you were just reading too much into it.

You can get his pretty moans out of your head. Images of his head leaning backwards, those sounds falling from his lips flash across your mind. You need to just get over him. Life’s too short to be anxious about getting a call from a boy who wouldn’t have even given you the time of day of sex hadn’t been on the table. Isn’t that the only reason why he agreed to meet you?

After everything is cleaned up, you say goodbye to Steve and make your way home. Only, you’re not turning onto the right street. You turn left when you’re supposed to go right and now you’ve ended up on the road that you’ve driven down so many times. You recognize every house since you bring El here almost every day before you go to the pool.

You honestly don’t know what you’re doing. You’re not thinking straight and are clearly blinded by your anger. And why wouldn’t you be? You’re so mad at Billy and you feel like he deserves to know how you feel.

You stop in front of the house you could draw from memory then quickly get out of your car. You’re stomping up the driveway and towards the front door, knocking furiously before waiting for someone to answer it.

Just your luck, it’s Max who’s on the other side. She gives you a suspicious look but then it quickly turns almost into pity. You can do so much better than her brother and she has no idea why you’re settling.

“He’s not here,” she tells you and actually feels bad when your face falls. “You just missed him, actually. But don’t worry, I’ll tell him to give you a call.”

“Thanks Max,” you smile lamely and she mimics it before closing the door.

You make the drive home and lock yourself in your room for the rest of the night, trying your best to not stare at your phone that sits on your desk. You’re silently begging it to ring, but when it reaches midnight and there’s no call, you eventually just decide to forget about the whole thing and go to bed. From now on, in your mind, Billy Hargrove doesn’t even exist.

[mineralsrocksandfossiltalks]

Damn, why are you so popular?

I 100% guarantee that if you were to ask random people on the street, adult and child alike, to name a dinosaur, Tyrannosaurus rex will be in the top 5. To not know about this dinosaur would imply you grew up in a hole behind a rock in a cave.

Tyrannosaurus, why are you so popular? You're like a pumpkin spice latte; the basic bitch of the dinosaur world and yet you are beloved by pretty much everyone. WHY?!?!?!?!?

Is it because you have one of the most badass names in scientific literature? I mean, Tyrant Lizard King has a nice ring to it.

Maybe it has to do with the sheer size and bulk of this animal. There aren't many terrestrial predators that could compare (yes there are other dinosaurs but we are focusing on this one this month). Tyrannosaurus could reach upwards of 40ft long (12 m), with a skull a little over 5 ft long (1.5 m) and teeth the size of bananas (around 12 in). It had a bite force strong enough to penetrate concrete.

It could simply be that it has been featured in films since post WWI. I mean, in 1933 King Kong famously fought one and has done so in many remakes.

This is a horrible rendition of a Tyrannosaurus too. I mean, come on, why do modern movies keep showing theropods with their teeth like that? It's so stupid! Anyway, there are other less horrendous tyrannosaurus depictions in film.

Three-year-old me would not have included Barney though. I couldn't stand him. However, he technically is a Tyrannosaurus and he has probably instilled the love of dinosaurs in many children so I can't be too upset with him.

There is, of course, the famous Sharp Tooth from The Land Before Time which was a boss movie that I grew up on.

The most famous is probably this girl from Jurassic Park though. The roar is easily recognizable, she was a beautiful puppet, and let's face it, she had some of the best scenes in that movie.

It's also turned up in many other TV shows like Doctor Who (a few times), Primeval, Power Rangers and Transformers.

You can also find it in a few novels including The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, We're Back! A Dinosaur Story by Hudson Talbott and the Dinosaur Lords series by Victor Milan.

Whatever the reasons, everyone knows this dinosaur and this month we're going to delve into Tyrannosaurus and it's family members. Fair warning, there are some VERY strong biases when it comes to tyrannosaurs and while I don't study them for that very reason (and let's face it, T.rex really is just a basic bitch), I don't totally dislike them and there are some pretty cool ones, so look forward to that.

(Like this one from New Mexico with a super badass name but I will save that for a later post.)

If Tyrannosaurus is your favorite dinosaur, maybe you can sway me to think they aren't so bad...but good luck. My dad has been trying to sway me for 30 years to no avail. Tune in tomorrow for some bone-crunching trivia! Fossilize you later!

[multiheadcanons]

THE MERCS AS PASSENGERS IN MY CAR EXCEPT I DONT GIVE ANY CONTEXT

scout: normal passenger. he can get passenger seat if nobody else is in the car. likes my car’s aesthetic. doesn’t complain about the speeding or the volume of the music. won’t let me touch my phone while the car is in motion. answers all my calls and texts. please stop doing that. knows way too much about me because he has my phone. he’s lucky he’s cute.

soldier: get in the backseat. be happy i don’t put him in the trunk. won’t complain about the volume of the music but will complain about music selection. messes with my bluetooth transmitter and turns my cabin lights on. please stop doing that. tries to get phone privileges, i would rather wreck the car going 55 than give him my phone.

pyro: pyro can sit up front but would probably choose the backseat. obsessed with what i got going on with my ceiling. pyro would probably appreciate car camping in the same sense that i appreciate car camping. i would let pyro set the leds color in my car because i love them and want them to think i’m cool and jiggy with the real weirdos.

demo: another normal passenger. will fall asleep in the front seat so he can have front seat so that nobody else has access to my phone. i wouldn’t make him sit in the back, he’d have to decide to sit in the back and he rarely would. that’s okay with me, he won’t complain about the heat or the windows or the music or the speeding, so he’s like, second in line for front seat privileges.

heavy: number one front seat priority. only merc i will not have my volume maxed out while i drive. if he does have complaints, he won’t make them known. finds the sprucing up… humorous, somewhat. will absentmindedly go through my phone and i would actually die if he did that so we’re driving on instinct and my phone is safely on my side of the car. hope i know where i’m going.

engie: backseat driving son of a bitch. get in the trunk. he’ll grab the side handles every time i don’t come to a perfect brake, or if i’m two miles over the limit. asks if i was taught to drive by cavemen. i say yes to piss him off. holds my phone hostage, if he doesn’t actively throw it out of the window. i feel like engie and i would argue a lot in the car. i’d tell him he’s welcome to walk, at least once. i feel like he would also be the guy i trust the most to drive my car if i couldn’t drive it for some reason. like i wouldn’t willingly hand my keys over to anyone else, no questions asked. would also beg him to do the maintenance on the car, and probably still end up having to pay him good money to get it done. worth it.

medic: i don’t think medic would willingly get in my car unless the keys were in his hand. i don’t think he’d let me drive my own car. he might pay my insurance though if he wants to drive it to do whatever he wants to do. which is hilarious, because he is a dogshit driver. i wanna join for the ride though. see if i can get him to make a pit stop. and it’d be nice to split gas. would probably like using my car as a private meeting area, somewhere to be with no recording devices where he needs as much privacy as he can feasibly swing with minimal payout on his end. will intentionally go through my phone. i’d let him, and then gaslight the fuck out of everyone else that whatever he saw on there wasn’t actually there. give them my phone and everything.

sniper: snipes can only get in my car if scout’s in my car. because i want to torture that man and i want scout to help me do it. he gets front seat because the button to roll the window up and down doesn’t work, but my button still works, so i’ll roll the windows all the way down— which he won’t mind. what he will mind is me playing the entirety of dauntless manifesto until he’s desperately trying to roll the window up. scout won’t get what’s going on until we get to water balloons. once he sees that damn aussie freeze in his seat he is 100% on board with what’s happening, and every other window goes up except sniper’s. he will never enter my car again unless nobody else can drive.

spy: i’d have to hold spy at gunpoint to even get him to approach the car. and even then if i have the keys in hand he’s not getting in the car. he will, however, steal my keys and go on a joy ride without my knowledge. just to see how it drives. see why i enjoy driving in my car. he doesn’t really get it. will also commandeer my car as a private, unrecorded meeting area whenever he wanted it and i wasn’t actively in it so i couldn’t start the car and trap him in it. would also use it as a smoke spot. he gets why i love my car when the car is not in motion.

[lousy-old-shrimp]

coming back? to fandom?? ME?????

hi so. i fell out of the fandom over a year ago but i can FEEL the tism blending up my hyperfixations again. i've changed my fics from abandoned to on hiatus (you may thank a fellow former newsies fixator that is in my current fandom for enabling me) ~ lopsidedtophat on ao3

[theythemmer]

phinktober day 11: ur fav AU

i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo

(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)

ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3

[gingermintpepper]

I saw it in your tag game post that you're also fond of the Apollo-Heracles conflict 👀 for a myth that appears in only a couple of sources, it sure has a lot of presence in the vase paintings (no seriously, everytime I think I've seen the last of it, I find ten more)

SO do you have any favorites among the paintings that represent this story??

OMG OMG THIS ASK IS A GIFT. IT IS A GIFT THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT THIS

I also think it's extremely interesting that it's a story so popularly portrayed by vase paintings and in such a variety of ways!! It's certainly one of the stories that gets left out of written compilation of Heracles' legend a bit (which is a shame, I think it's a fantastic story) but Apollo had a very peculiar relationship with Heracles in general that I just kind of find amazing (and very, very funny).

Apollo is not a god with any legitimate grudge against Heracles, but he does argue with the mortal a bit like he argues with his favourite brothers 😂Part of why I love the story of Apollo and Heracles fighting over the tripod so much is that it is such a little brother thing for Heracles to be upset with the proclamation his elder brother has given him and so, he throws a great fit, taking up the chair and declaring that he'll just give himself a better prophecy! And Apollo, instead of being a marginally professional big brother, decides to fight him for it until their father has to break up their cat-fight. Like was that not just the plot of the Homeric Hymn to Hermes? Is this not exactly how Apollo treated Hermes when he was a child and now those two are inseparable? 💀

Because of this, my favourite vase paintings tend to be the ones that highlight the personal squabbling between Apollo and Heracles the most. There are some very elaborate ones that have the full host of them - Athena, Heracles, Apollo, Artemis, usually a dog and a doe, I've even seen a couple that had birds and plants etched on them, but the simplest ones that show Heracles about to bonk Apollo with his club out of frustration or depict Heracles nyooming away from Apollo while Apollo (presumably) yells curses about how he's going to fling Heracles head first into Tartarus for daring to take his things? Yeah, those are the premium big brother/little brother things I'm looking for.

(Photo. Marie-Lan Ngyuen)

(Photo. Museo Claudio Faina)

Also the one in the Theoi.com archives is a real classic - perfect energy.

[aquickstart]

ok sure i'll talk about farleigh start. i'll talk about his tragedy of never being enough as it were and then having to deal with fucking oliver. sure. disclaimer: it's about class (and race) and the horrible reality of the rich. the horrible reality of living as farleigh.

another disclaimer: i'm white! and poc definitely pick up on everything i'm talking about here as it is, and better. i was and am specifically interested in farleigh vs. oliver but it's impossible to examine without considering race. definitely let me know if anything abt this sucks!

farleigh and oliver are similar. it's annoying because every intruder that is not himself is annoying, partly because felix's attention swaying from farleigh is dangerous; there is always a threat of being discarded, even if no precedent existed. the potential is terrifying.

but you'd think he's seen this before, every summer (if venetia is telling the truth) or at least often enough to learn to recognize it fast, so he should know this will pass. part of it is i think still the deep anxiety, and i think he hated every boy that was there before, and it is sort of routine.

but definitely a huge factor in farleigh's annoyance is the fact that he's a biracial (black for cattons, that's all they see) man in a white rich household. he's alert and exhausted all the time. of course he's angry at oliver, regardless of whether he's the first to crash at saltburn for the summer or the fifty-first.

but the important thing is this.

farleigh is very jealous of and angry and pissed at oliver because farleigh sees all the similarities between them. outsider, in financial trouble, whatever it is, in need of cattons; and yet oliver is preferred. and farleigh seems to be the only one to really consider it. felix does not pick up on the hint when farleigh brings up the birthday party vs. his mother. felix's clumsy "different or... anything like that" is as much about race as it is about class, of course. the "we've done all that we can" bit is felix absolving himself of guilt because surely they had, surely the mysterious collective cattons that he's not really part of had tried all they could do. to him, farleigh is different from oliver, because farleigh has been helped. felix is rich and white and twofold uncomfortable with farleigh, even if he's nice about it, even if he genuinely enjoys his company; he doesn't look too close at farleigh because he feels too guilty to come too close. and farleigh can't do anything about it. he can't nice himself into it. the fucking tragedy of him is that he's never enough in the world of the ultra-rich white, even if (especially because!) he's born into it.

farleigh is very pissed at oliver because farleigh also sees all the differences between them. you know who can be nice poor white enough to fit in? fucking oliver. felix says "just be yourself, they'll love you" when oliver first moves in. farleigh was also probably told the same thing, and felix also probably believed that farleigh could just be himself, but even if the cattons were magically not racist at all (impossible), it wouldn't make a difference to farleigh. he would still self-censor, keep in check, be in dangerous waters (because racism is not just about the individual, but about the system). we see that he'd won himself leeway by years of trial and error by the way he speaks to the family, but it's still within the boundaries of acceptable, built by the cattons. he's part of them because they allow it, and farleigh is very, very aware.

the annoying thing is oliver can be himself. like, truly, genuinely, he can just be. and farleigh can't help but envy that.

as a side note, oliver is obviously jealous of farleigh in the beginning as well, because regardless of the reality of farleigh's situation, he was born into it, and hence, at least in oliver's mind, has his position solidified. oliver's whole thing is unquenchable thirst and hunger for whatever and everything the cattons have (including themselves!). he wishes to have been a catton from birth. to oliver, at first, there's nothing farleigh can really do to lose it. and until he figures out the cattons completely, he can't help but envy that.

but i think farleigh senses something different about oliver early on. at least on the level of the text, we have "you're almost passing [for] a real, human boy", which is so important because farleigh is the first to point out oliver's weirdness. the next to do so is venetia in the bath scene calling him a freak, but it's too late. farleigh is too early.

and i like to think he clocks oliver too early because he sees the jagged edges that he recognizes in himself. i think that one other thing that farleigh envies is oliver's freedom to let go. freedom to let go is very similar to freedom to be, but not quite the same.

to be is about perception: farleigh knows he cannot fall out of line, but would like to, and oliver does not have to worry about it at all (i mean, he does, because oliver also performs for felix, but farleigh doesn't know that).

to let go is about the self: farleigh is too scared to even want what oliver eventually does, to even consider the possibility. oliver can let himself want. oliver can let himself act. oliver just can do things and want things. i'm not sure farleigh can.

and so in this scene, when oliver's wants and actions have landed him nowhere with farleigh, felix, venetia, the cattons, of course farleigh gloats. he can let himself do that, because if the cattons are slowly discarding him, farleigh can allow himself this one small victory. he's relieved because despite the dangerous similarities, oliver is, thankfully, not really the same as farleigh, right?

but like. this movie is a love letter to all things gothic. oliver is a white man. he prevails. the brief performance that oliver put on did eventually end up more effective than farleigh's lifetime of constraint. my heart fucking breaks for him to be honest.

the issue that remains is the fact of farleigh's survival. i like to think that oliver came to respect him. oliver is smart, but farleigh is clever. he picks up on everything oliver does (to refer back to the karaoke scene, farleigh immediately retaliates in the cleverest way, in the moment), and he's the only one to do so consistently (venetia, again, for example, comes close, but too late; oliver doesn't like that, there's nothing to work with). hence, stay with me for a little longer, the paradox: farleigh survives because he was never enough for the cattons, but he is very worthy of oliver's attention. in his own freaky way, oliver wants him. look at that.

so. farleigh. farleigh might come back. he always comes back. and i think oliver wants to try harder next time.

[funkervogt]

(Realizes that the most common transman experiences perfectly align with my life and feelings about myself and fascinations and who I want to be with) Ohhhh Okay i am fucked

[oh-no-its-bird]

Yeah that sounds about right

Actually now I need Kaveh and Tsunade to interact solely so they can be blonde broke bitches together. I think Kaveh would be SO judgy about her gambling habits, it'd be funny

Blonde broke bitch alliance,,,

Ok actually yk what? I wanna see Kaveh accidentally kidnapping Naruto.

He's stuck in naruto land for some reason, but is kinda sticking to being on the road— looking for a way back home, or at least something hinting towards it. Uzushio sounds like a good place to investigate, with rumors of ancient seals and all that, so he's probably aiming for there.

And along the way yk, hes totally interested in the culture and architecture of this new strange land, so he's putting conscious effort into learning about things (and clans)

So he visits Kohona for a couple days, intending to hit the road soon after, and during his time there he finds Naruto and he's like struck by this sad poor little meow meow orphan and is like, "oh man you poor baby,,, come with me we can travel together on the road and I will take care of u,,"

And so Kaveh just kinda picks up Naruto, and Naruto is like, starry eyed and at the height of "I will imprint on anyone who so much as looks at me for longer than 5 seconds without disgust in their eyes" (let's say he's like. 6 or 7. Idk.) And ofc goes along with it

Naruto is like "I'm gonna be Hokage one day, believe it!"

And Kaveh is like "I dont know what that means but hell yeah kid! Chase ur dreams!"

And instantly Naruto is like "🥺 do u mean it"

And Kaveh is like "???? Uhh yeah, sure"

And Naruto is like "I changed my mind. When I grow up I am going to be ur architecture assistant and we will be family forever and build a big house for us and all of our friends to live in and—"

(Bonus points if Naruto sees Kaveh is a blonde and starts kind of wistfully daydreaming about them being blood relatives at some point)

So, yk, Kaveh entered the city as a civillian and they did the basic checks and he sees fine, so there's not much scrutiny on him. This is also during peace time so security isn't as crazy high as it might have been literally any other year he could visit. The fact that he's very obviously not a shinobi totally helps

So there isnt anyone really watching Kaveh?

And also security on Naruto is embaressingly weak, as evidenced by that time he broke into the hokage tower. So Kaveh leaves the village, and when Naruto tries to follow him— no one actually notices

I'm thinking. Kaveh left the village through proper channels, told Naruto he'd come back maybe. But Naruto was like "oh no my only friend is leaving and will NEVER come back :(" and decided to just. Follow him.

And when Kaveh notices him, Naruto begs to come with him. And hes already packed all his most important belongings too!! (It's an embaressingly small collection of things. And half of it is just packets of instant noodles)

Its the sad collection of 'all his worldly posessions' that especially hits Kaveh like a truck, and after a bit of deliberating hes like. Fuck it. You're a no one orphan and people in that village are SHIT. They won't even notice ur gone, and I can give u a better life. Come on kid, let's go to Uzushio together

And Naruto loses his mind celebrating and they set off into the sun hand in hand....how beautiful...

Meanwhile back in Kohona someone realizes Naruto is gone and the collective upper ranks of people lose their goddamn shit

THEY LOST THE FUCKING KYUUBI JINCHURIKI !!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The fact that Naruto left of his own free will makes investigating who "took" him so much harder, but Kaveh was probably seen in his company multiple times by more than a few people (but disregarded as not a threat) so they eventually narrow it down to him. But like. It takes an alarming amount of investigation, unfortunatley

But like uhh. Kaveh and Naruto road trip to Uzushio,,, they are both learning about the Uzumaki clan together, having this great adventure exploring the shinobi world from the POV of civillians. Kaveh is teaching Naruto math and art and writing and reciting all this poetry n shit from the academy, and just in general giving him an honestly really good education. He's teaching Naruto the tools he needs to be an architect, since Naruto seems to be interested in it

(And then when they get to Uzushio they can maybe also have fun dissecting Uzu architecture and how seals interacted with it,,,)

They also have, just, NO fucking clue about the political disaster they've created. Both of them think Naruto is a nobody orphan and that legit no one will notice he's gone.

They are living in their fluffy found family road trip arc while they leave a massive fucking bonfire behind them.

Because of some sort of convolouted reason (possibly relating to how Kaveh's vision interacts with chakra maybe(?)) It is actually really hard to track them (don't think ab it too hard)

So Konoha is also freaking out bc they !! can't !! Find them !!!! This Kaveh guy must be an evil mastermind of some sort...this is awful...this is so fucked up...

Meanwhile, Kaveh is like half a mile from the konoha team sent to hunt him down and blissfully unaware of the looming danger as he uses his last dollar to buy Naruto some pork buns

Honestly I just want to see this kind of slapstick comedy of the anbu team continuously running into road blocks and coincidental decoys. And they keep going "holy shit this Kaveh guy is a mastermind, hes 5 steps ahead of us, this is so fucked up hes so dangerous" while Kaveh just. Has NO idea any of that is even happening. He and Naruto are living in their own little world rn

Konoha is also officially in a lose-lose situation bc there is little to no way to separate Naruto from Kaveh without irriversably damaging something.

God fucking help them if they try to kill Kaveh to get Naruto back— and understandable move on their part, with what little they know, but probably the WORST thing they could do here

Bad ending where they finally catch them and either kill or nearly kill Kaveh (which also, from Naruto and Kaveh's POV, comes out of FUCKING NOWHERE) and Naruto freaks the fuck out and goes full jinchuriki on them bc thats like. His older brother / dad figure who's basically adopted him at this point. And they just KILLED HIM !!!

They drag Naruto back to Konoha and try to "de-program" him from Kaveh's "brainwashing" but its too late and Naruto is officially deeply fucked up and traumatized by this entire thing.

By the time anyone even realizes the misunderstanding they can't fucking admit it because "sorry we accidentally killed that civillian u imprinted on, we probably should have just asked nicely for you back but I guess that was an oopsy teehee on us" sounds SO bad when ur trying to brainwash a kid into being loyal to the village again.

So literally their only choice is to just double down and commit to "no he was evil and we saved you from him" in the hopes that if they say it enough, Naruto will believe it

Thats the bad ending tho. Maybe Kaveh survived, who knows

Angry momma bear Kaveh coming back for his fucking kid ,,,,

Could a dendro vision be mistaken for mokuton? That could be fun to play with also ,,

Anyways ummm. I kind of also wanna see Kaveh adopting Gaara now too in his adventures, could be fun

Could be even funner if we continue the trend of "Kaveh keeps "kidnapping" important children without realizing they're important"

They go to Suna and Naruto runs into Gaara and they do the "Woah... ur just like me..." thing.

Then they get to talking and Naruto starts to share about everyone hated him but then he met Kaveh, who's special and taught him what a real family was like !!! And now they travel together and Naruto is so happy !!!

And Gaara hears "I have this special man who taught me what real love is like" and goes "Hm. Share perhaps?"

Long story short: Kaveh begins to be stalked by a creepy little 7 year old that everyone seems inexplicably terrified by. Which, like, look. He gets that the kid is weird but come on guys

Kaveh continues to be unimpressed by people in this world, smh

Naruto and Kaveh leave and Gaara trails after them and Kaveh is like "kid, I can't take you with me. You HAVE a family, you mentioned this to me already"

And Gaara is like, "teach me how to love or I will rend the flesh from your bones"

And Kaveh is like "Jesus fucking christ. First lesson on love: we do NOT threaten bodily harm on people we love, got that?"

And Gaara nods as internally he's going, wow I'm learning so much already

Kaveh, Naruto and Gaara road trip ,,, what could go wrong?

Kaveh continues to treat both Naruto and Gaara like the children they are, which blows both of their minds just a little bit. Especially Gaara, who had never had a normal human interaction in his life and is totally buying what Naruto said about Kaveh being "special"

Meanwhile, obviously, Suna is going fucking insane because they just LOST THEIR JINCHURIKI. you know, the KAZEKAGE'S CHILD?????

Gaara fully intends to go home. Eventually. Hes just gonna try and learn about this love thing first. His uncle will be very proud of how proactive he's being, he's sure

(Idk when his uncle was supposed to try and assassinate him and die bc of it, but for the sake of this timeline we are saying literally the same day Gaara fucked off with Kaveh. Unfortunate! Or fortunate, I guess)

On that note actually, Kaveh taking Naruto totally derailed the Uchiha Massacre btw. It was supposed to happen soonish, but the huge roar at the jinchuriki's dissapearence was a big enough diversion to put it on pause. Don't think ab it too hard, idk

Itachi ends up being part of the squad hunting Kaveh (team ro noises) and in the end, the Uchiha pull their coup when he's not looking and oops! They own the village now. Get fucked. Thanks Kaveh.

Anyways.

Kaveh starts complaining about how broke he is and how the kids are eating up his meager savings, and Gaara kinda goes "you should have mentioned this before. I could have taken something from father's treasury to help."

Kaveh, for the very first time: "did I... take the child of someone important...?"

Konoha and Suna join hands to try and hunt down the man who stole their jinchuriki's,,, alliance most ever ,,,

Idk where this is really going from here but just. Kaveh, Naruto and Gaara road trip. They still need to go to Uzushio. Learn some Uzumaki lore together, maybe unlock the secret of some ancient seals or two, idk

Kaveh eventually finds out these kids have literal actual demons in them and has to deal with that. But for a solid 90% of this he is none the wiser and thinks his kids are kind of freaks but overall harmless. No one tell him.

Doesn't Cyno have some sort of demon thing going for him? I really don't know much about him but I feel like I've heard that somewhere? But like, if he does, Kaveh potentially being somewhat normal ab the idea of demon possession or whatever

Tevat has some WILD shit in it, and Kaveh is a trooper. A loud, dramatic trooper who will lose his mind about the fact his kids were secretly vessels for demons the whole time, but a trooper

Kaveh and Kurama + Shukaku interactions,,,,, I need to see it ,,

Kaveh somehow interacts w Shukaku and his fear of a demon is overrided by motherly rage and they end up getting into a screaming match over parental rights over Gaara

Yk,, if theyre going to Uzu,, Kaveh somehow helping release the biiju anybody? Anybody? Could be fun.

Kaveh is such a genuinley good guy, this man is perpetually broke bc he keeps giving people passes on paying him for his work at every sob story (among other things, ofc)

I feel like if he learned the story of the biiju and had proper motivation + a method to free them, hed just do it. He'd just go for it. Hes a king like that. In Kaveh we stan.

Uhhh, as always, I have a couple more vague thoughts but I've been typing on and off as I work so a lot are escaping me. So Ill leave it here for now

Thank u thybirb for the jumping off point !! Ig I just needed smthn to kick the brain worms into gear.

Kaveh in Naruto,,, my beloved,,

I want to think about Kaveh (genshin impact) in Naruto but I haven't touched Genshin for longer than an hour in over a year now. I never even officially met Kaveh, I never hit his quests. So Idk if I can do him justice

But like, ,,, ough,,, Kaveh in Naruto ,,,, my babygirl most ever,,,

[ambyandony]

heres the limbo fusions with the rest of the vento aureo main protags

Limbo + Mista

Mimbo - any pronouns

"Are u lost bbygrl? :)"

(They give a weird stare if asked for a full name. They only use Mimbo, even though it’s a combination of Limbo’s forename and Mista’s surname.)

most stable Limbo fusion merely by virtue of Mista’s simple ability to just not give a fuck.

GET YOUR GUN OUT OF YOUR CLEAVAGE!

bitch gon step on my fuckin toe bitch with them fuckin cowgirl fuckin boots

VITALLY important that you know that despite being easily mistaken as fem on first glance, Mimbo also has the deepest voice of any Limbo fusion for literally no reason other than it’s funny to me. They also have sideburns

Stand: Mighty Wings - Redirects Signals. Still a colony Stand, looks like tiny little pastel fighter jets!

Limbo + Abbacchio

Lio Adkio - they/them

“Don’t say SHIT about my mascara or my eyeliner.”

“In fact, don’t fucking look at me or I’ll have to kill you or myselves.”

stable only because when Limbo started panicking in the mindspace, Abbacchio simply pointed and snapped at her to CALM THE FUCK DOWN. and she did so immediately.

nicer than Abbacchio. not by that much, though… but weirdly apologetic about it.

the eyeliner doesn’t appear to be due to crying, it seems that it just looks like that.

bazongas?

Stand: Keeping The Faith? Never Too Late? Shawty like a melody-

“rewinds” signals to previous states or connections and/or can do a “replay” of those signals’ succeeded actions (i.e. having a phone replay a prior conversation) Unfortunately, it’s pretty useless in combat.

Limbo + Giorno

Glimbo Giovadkins - she(?)/they/them

“Wouldn’t you like to hear one of my 765 fun facts about aerodynamics, animals or Air Bud?”

“I also have a few facts about botany, blood and birds.”

stable, until they’re not. they’re incredibly calm and delightful, but when they think someone’s mad at them they panic and start excessively apologising.

genuinely the softest cutest sweetest lil bitch you’ve ever seen. also traumatised with a guilty conscience and can flip on a dime in a terrifying way.

shortest Limbo fusion for no clear reason? shorter than both Limbo and Giorno.

Squalo’s worst fear.

sounds pretty much how you would expect.

Stand: Crystal Dolphin - can transform signals into life—by taking the signals out of something, typically disabling it, they can create life like Gold Experience can. The more complex the device, the bigger its potential creation.

Limbo + Buccellati

Bimbo Luno Adkellati - they/them

"...I've lost the conversation. I'm gonna go make pizza!"

Megan Thee Stallion?!

has no idea what’s going on for some reason? always looks a little confused and loses track of conversations very quickly.

very good with kids! practically unable to have a coherent conversation with Abbacchio. They don’t seem too distressed, but they just stop making much sense and seem to confuse themselves.

Stand: When Doves Cry? Perhaps Freewill? Uhm… I don’t know? Maybe it can sort of, ‘zip’ signals together, combining two or more functions into one sent signal? Bruno's ability is just so specific... I can't think of many ideas.

Limbo + Fugo

Fimbo (Pannalimbo Adkigo) - they/them

"STOP TALKING ABOUT FREUD BEFORE I KILL YOU WITH MY FUCKING BRACELETS!!!"

( Note: all currently depicted instances of Fimbo seem to be post-PHF, as Fimbo is almost always seen with the mouth scars hidden by the tattoo.)

enemy of the state. punches fascists. lovecore punk goth. in terms of authority figures they only respect Buccellati and Limbo’s dad.

AuDHD trauma poster child. Short fuse but very friendly until something sets them off and they start screaming and or burst into fucking tears.

Self-love in the sense that the fusionmates care about each other deeply and both sides are trying to look out for the other knowing the other won't look out for themself.

Stand: Cabin Fever - Terrifying deathly virus that, rather than being airborne like Purple Haze, is passed though signal transmission. Fimbo doesn’t know if the virus is the same as Purple Haze, a different strain of it, or something entirely different. It spreads most quickly through vocal communication between two people.

Limbo + Narancia

Nimbus Ghirgins - he/they/she

"tummyache... :("

Libby why does my stomach feel like it’s going to fucking collapse in on itself and why are my knuckles torn? aren’t they supposed to bruise when you punch?

bad relationship with food. Hanahaki disease, what are you doing here? (/ij)

sometimes they find Mista sitting around, sit next to him and fall asleep on him immediately

incredibly bad with emotions and doesn’t even get angry they just get overwhelmed instantly at any presence of significant emotion

Stand: Falling in Love/Hard on the Knees - who the fuck let this kid control CO2 emissions?? They can barely control themselves???

[skitskatdacat63]

I feel weirdly compelled by this