#also. really liked that atsushi had a moment of wait. dazai isn’t perfect

[sugarcarnation]

finally finished 55 minutes

[dreamkidddream]

hey congratulations!!🎉

if possible, can you write quote #19 w/ atsushi?

Whew so this was a popular request and I’m honestly excited for it! This was so fun to write too. Atsushi ain’t slick either 👀 Atsushi when he’s doubting himself 📉📉 Atsushi when he’s confident, believes in himself AND goes feral📈📈 📈 also sorry for the wait, school has me 1000000x stressed, but my birthday is coming up so expect me to post more as a birthday gift to myself 🥰 reader is gender neutral!

TW: a little spicy but nothing extremely graphic is mentioned, minor language

Prompt: “I saw that. You just checked me out.” with Atsushi!

Atsushi couldn’t help it. No matter what, his eyes were always drawn to you. You’re just...really pretty! Beyond pretty! You’re just so alluring, that no matter how much he tried to snap out of the daze that you unknowingly put him in, he would just be focused on you all over again. Didn’t matter where either: in the office filling out reports, hanging out in the cafe, on missions (Akutagawa would be fuming and a little confused, but Atsushi didn’t care).

While he is naive at times, that didn’t mean that he’s stupid. He knows that he’s in too deep and it’s too late to try and deny what he’s feeling for you, but he’s scared. He fears that he isn’t good enough for you, that he never will be good enough for you. You deserve more than what he can ever give you, so why waste your time on someone like him? You deserve better than that, better than him...

But those thoughts were pushed away whenever you’re around him. Everytime you flashed him that sweet smile of yours, his heart would beat even faster than before (and you made his heart pretty fast already), and he couldn’t bare the notion of you not being in his life. He couldn’t imagine it, and he didn’t even try to.

Which lead to now: you both walking on the Yokohama boardwalk, him holding onto your prized tiger plushie (that took so long for him to win and SO MUCH MONEY) and varying treats from different street vendors, and you chattering excited about...something. What was it that you were talking about again? Damn it, it happened again!

It was so easy for Atsushi to get lost when it came to you. Just seeing the ways your eyes sparkled underneath the lights and the night sky was enough for him to lose his breath, not to mention how stunning you’re already are. He was more than flabbergasted when you accepted his invite to the boardwalk, stumbling out a thank you with a heavy blush across as you rambled on about how you can’t wait until then.

And you look so good. Not that you already didn’t! You actually got a little dressed up tonight, nothing too over the top but nothing like a regular hangout either. The outfit that you chose really displayed your figure, and he couldn’t help but let his gaze fall to-

“Hey! Are you listening?”

SHIT.

“HUH?! Oh! Of-of course!”, he stuttered out, nodding his head. Please believe me, please believe me, please-

“So you agree that I should go on a date with Dazai or Ranpo? Or even Akutagawa?”

“Ye-WAIT NO!”

“I’m just kidding, Sushi,” you playfully bumped his shoulder. “You zoned out on me. If I’m boring you-”

“No! It’s not that!”, he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, shameful. “It’s just...I’m really having a lot of fun with you tonight. I’m still a little shocked that you actually agreed to come out with me.”

“Why would I tell you no? I love spending time with you! Plus, this gives us a chance to hang out without any interference. Just us two.”

“Y-yeah! Just us! I’m really happy that you’re having fun.”

“Just make sure I’m not boring you to death okay? Plus, I have to tell you something important...”

His ears perked up and his heart started to race. Was this the moment? Could it be? He wanted to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. You looked so bashful, twiddling your fingers together nervously.

Were you about to confess to him?

A smile broke out on your face as you gazed at him.

“You’ve been checking me out this whole time, haven’t you?”

He choked.

Atsushi could faint right now. Not out of pure bliss, but of embarrassment. You knew what he was doing?! He wishes that the ground would open up and swallow him while, he even wishes that Akutagawa just comes out of nowhere to fight just so he wouldn’t have to face you.

“W-wait?”, and his voice cracked. Even more embarrassment.

“You’ve been checking me out, tiger boy! My my Atsushi, who knew that you could be so devious?”

He almost dropped your plush tiger trying to wave his arms to defend himself. He wasn’t checking you out! He was admiring you! Very big difference in his opinion.

Oh who was he kidding? Either way, you didn’t need to know that!

“No I wasn’t! It’s- you see- I wasn’t checking you out! You h-had something on your face! Yeah!”

“Oh please Atsushi. I saw that. You just checked me out. As a matter of fact, I know you’ve been checking me out for quite some time.”

Oh he could just shrivel up and disappear into nothing at this point. He felt so ashamed, disgusting. Oh God, what if you thought that he’s a pervert now? He began to open his mouth, the start of a first apology of many to follow on the tip of his tongue, when you cut him off.

“Honestly, I was wondering when you were gonna make a move. Thought I was gonna have to, but I wanted to give you enough time and maybe see you sweat a little.”

“...huh?”

You broke poor Atsushi.

So you didn’t think that he’s a disgusting pervert? You didn’t hate him? And you knew that he’s been doing this? And you knew of his feelings for you? And you reciprocated said feelings?!

Atsushi was overjoyed at this revelation. Then, he came to the realization that you knew this whole time of his feelings for you, didn’t say anything because you were amused with how stressed he got, and then proceeded to still mess with him after.

He’s irritated to say the least.

You let out a string of laughter, “Atsushi, you should see your face right now!” You started to clutch your stomach, tears pricking at your eyes with how hard you’re laughing. “Seriously! You didn’t think I wouldn’t notice you always staring at me? I’m not that oblivious you know.”

As much as you loved teasing him, you really did mean what you said. He’s been gazing at you with his longing look in his eyes for so long, that you believed it was only a matter of time before he approached you. However, you were starting to get just a tad bit impatient. You knew how much of a crush he has on you just as you have a crush on him, and you were trying to have him make the first move, but if he continued to just give you puppy eyes when he thought you wouldn’t notice, you were going to drag him by his tie and force him to confess.

“But don’t feel too bad. If I was super nervous to confess to my crush, I’ll probably just stare and hope they understand my feelings that way. So, now that that’s out of the way, do you want to confess first or should I-”

“You don’t even know what you do to me, do you?”

Atsushi’s had his head lowered, and when he snapped his head up, he was glaring at you.

Oh no, he’s mad at you. You didn’t mean to make upset! It was- wait a second. What you do to him? He continued on, gripping your shoulders so that you couldn’t look away, your focus would be on him and only him, just like his is always on you and only you.

“It’s not my fault what you do to me! It’s yours!”

“Wait, AtsuSHI-”

“It’s not my fault that you’re really pretty and nice and-”

Now he was shaking you while he rants and whines about all the things that “weren’t his fault”. You began to giggle again, “Okay okay Atsushi! I get it.” Clasping his hands, you slowly ceased his shaking, with him giving you that same puppy eyed look that you’re used to.

Damn it, he didn’t understand what he does to you.

“I’m sorry, Atsushi. It’s just so fun to see you get riled up sometimes”, you already moved his hands to in front of you, gently rubbing circles on them. “I...I really do like you, Atsushi. More than like, really. This wasn’t how I was planning this to go, but whatever. And you don’t have to worry about me not returning your feelings dummy! It’s pretty obvious, wouldn’t you say?”

You could see his expression soften the more you spoke, processing your words and letting them sink in. He saw no playful glints in your eyes this time. You genuinely meant what you said, you like him, more than a friend.

He felt tears gathering in his eyes, but you wiped at them before they could fall. Caressing his face, prizes and treats long forgotten, you leaned in to kiss him softly. He went still, then melted into it, bringing you close to him as much as he can by your waist. When you pulled back, he had such a dopey grin on his face, eyes full of warmth.

Nothing could compare to this feeling, the feeling of being loved, being truly cared for.

He truly did feel blessed.

“The night’s still young, Atsushi,” you leaned in to give him another peck, which he happily accepted. “And I don’t want to waste anymore time than we already have.”

“Y-y-yeah, me either”, he touched your forehead against yours. You look so angelic underneath the stars, he couldn’t look away if he tried. “Let’s make up for lost time.”

“Of course. And I know the perfect way to start.”

Bonus:

“Good morning, Atsushi!”

Dazai rolled his chair to his desk, already putting off his work for the day. “So tell me: how was your date last night?”

“Oh-it was great! We just went to the boardwalk. (Y/N) was happy, and we both confessed, so everything went okay.”

“That’s it?”, he sighed. “How boring. You guys didn’t do anything else?”

“Hm? No? Was I suppose to do something else?”, he blinked at Dazai. Did you miss a step or something? Everything went better than expected last night, so he did everything right...right?

“Tell me, Atsushi. Did you two run into any trouble last night?”

“No. Why?”

“Well how did you get that bruise on your neck?”

Bruise? What was he-

Oh no.

Dazai leaned back in his chair, arms folded behind his head. “And judging by the way (Y/N) is being way more cheerful than they usually are, something tells me that that isn’t a bruise-”

“DAZAI! Get back to work!”

Kunikida couldn’t have come at a perfect time. Dazai groaned out a “fine” and rolled back to his desk, letting Atsushi breath out a sigh of relief. You guys had a lot more fun than he let on, and he would be beyond mortified if the whole office found out-

“Goodness Kunikida, I was just letting Atsushi know that his hickey was showing! (Y/N) really knows how to leave a mark, don’t they Atsushi?”

Please someone, end him now-

“And the way that (Y/N) is covering their neck tells me that you do too. My mentee is growing up so fast, I’m so proud!”

“DAZAI!”

“ATSUSHI!”

[linkspooky]

Kunikida + Oda: Death of a Good Man

While Kunikida and Oda have never met in canon they are characters with a lot in common. They both essentially play the same role, as the moral center of their respective groups (particularly acting as a conscience for Dazai). They both share the same strengths and weaknesses. However, one lives and one dies. MORE UNDER THE CUT. 

1. Relationship with Dazai

Dazai is a character who has trouble seeing himself as a person. That is, he doesn’t see himself as the same as everyone else. (His ability is titled No Longer Human, surprise, surprise). Oda says as much to Dazai, that traditional values like good or evil don’t really mean that much to him. 

“Whether you’re on the side that takes lives, or the side that saves them nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander for eternity.” 

...

“Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, then choose to be a good person.” - Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era

It’s not that Dazai is a sociopath, or even unfeeling, it’s just that he is so distanced from his own humanity, and from other people. He genuinely believes he can’t feel the same way as they do. Dazai even described the way he saw himself to Fyodor. 

Dazai tells Fyodor that he feels like he’s sperate from everyone else. It’s like he’s the player, and everybody else is pieces on the game board. But, even though he might come up with strategies and move the pieces, he’s not really the one changing things, or affecting other people’s lives because he’s not right there in the middle of things he’s far away. 

Dazai even flashes back to Oda and Gide’s final showdown when trying to explain this feeling to Fyodor. Oda his closest and only friend at the time, who he could not reach out to and save. Dazai believes he can’t touch other people, he can’t reach out and save them, because he sees himself as lacking in feelings or a heart. Which is why, Dazai relies on the people around him. Dazai attached himself to Oda when he was in the Mafia, and then again to Kunikida when he was detective agency to essentially act as his heart, his external conscience for him. That’s the relationship he shares with both of them. It’s why the first two light novels are essentially about Dazai, but narrated from the point of view of his partner at the time. Light novel one is about his partnership with Kunikida, and Light Novel 2 is about his friendship with Oda back in the dark age. The connection between them is that both Oda, and Kunikida are good, just men who have tried to understand Dazai in one way or another. 

The events of both light novels even mirror each other to an extent. Entrance exam is about Dazai joining the agency, Dark Era is about Dazai leaving the mafia. Entrance exam is about Kunikida failing to understand Dazai, but learning to trust him anyway. Dark Era is about Oda being the only one who fully understands Dazai, but then not listening to him at the end of the story. They both end with a symbolic death, Oda commits double suicide with Gide, whereas Kunikida pretends to shoot Dazai in order to follow his plan. 

Dazai’s a master strategist, but he’s not a leader of men, nor does he have any particular ideals he stands for. Dazai was given a position of leadership within the port mafia, and not only did he spend the entire time tormenting his closest subordinate but he didn’t care about the lives of his subordinates the way Chuuya does. 

Dazai sees Kunikida as someone having the ideals he does not have, therefore doing what he cannot, and being what he cannot be to others. This is a role Oda used to serve as his one and only friend. However, while they occupy the same spot as Dazai’s most trusted person their relationships with him are very different.

Kunikida is very combative with Dazai and always fighting against him. He personally expects Dazai to be better in all aspects. He scolds him for being lazy and neglecting his work. When Dazai messes with other people or manipulates them, it’s Kunikida who is the first to get frustrated with him. Kunikida also, tends to lack a fundamental understanding of Dazai. It’s a running joke that he’s always a step behind him (he’s the last person to find out Dazai was a mafia member when everyone else already knew). The literal first thing established about their relationship in the first chapter, is that they are constantly fighting with each other. They barely make it through a dinner with Atsushi. 

However, Kunikida also listens to Dazai when it’s important. It’s the other way around with Oda, Oda is someone who does fundamentally understand who Dazai really is deep down. However, at the same time Oda doesn’t really try to exert any influence over Dazai until the very end of his life. Their relationship was defined by being distant to one another, and not asking questions.

The reason why Ango and I were able to be by his side was that we understood the solitude that surrounded him, and we never stepped inside it no matter how close we stood. 

But in that moment, I kind of regretted not stepping in and invading that solitude.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era. 

 Him, Ango and Dazai could only keep meeting as the Buraiha at the Lupin bar if they pretended to not know anything about what each other did outside of the bar. They’re different in one main aspect, Kunikida fights Dazai, and Oda doesn’t start fighting until it’s almost far too late. 

2. Living and Dying for One’s Ideals

One more direct parallel between the two is that Kunikida and Oda are both characters who strive to live up to the ideal they find in a book. Literally. Kunikida obsessively writes out his ideals in his notebook where he has his whole future planned out.

What are ideals? There are innumerable answers to that question. One could say it’s merely a term, or an idea, or perhaps even the soruce of all meaning. But if you ask me, the answer is obvious. It’s the word written on the cover of my notebook.  My notebook has all the answers. It is my creed, my master, and a prophet that guides me. At times, it can either be a weapon ro a solution. Ideals. Everything I am is written in this notebook which I always carry with me. My entire future lies within it - Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam

Oda picked up a book and loved it so much he wanted to write the ending for himself.

After worrying about it for so long, I came to one conclusion.  “Then you write what happens next.” I decided to write about it myself. I would become a novelist, and write a story about why the man stopped killing. But to become a novelist, I needed to sincerely know what it meant to live. So, I stopped killing. -   Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era. 

Kunikida and Oda are both characters who find their will to live for the future within the pages of a book. Which makes sense as both characters struggle with lofty ideals and a harsh reality. Oda and Kunikida are characters written about the struggle to be a good man, in a world that is not good. To hold ideals, in a world that is not ideal. This once again ties back to what Dazai said to Fyodor, God isn’t perfect harmony, he’s illogical and absurd.

The world isn’t ideal and orderly. It’s extremely, extremely messy. Kunikida and Oda are both characters who strive to be better, and want the world to be better and because of that they fall into conflict. However, Oda lost his fight, and Kunikida is still fighting. Part of why Dazai got so attached to Kunikida is also because he saw Oda’s ideals within Kunikida, and knew that carrying those ideals could crush him so easily. 

“Justice is a weapon. It can be used to harm, but it cannot protect and save others.”  -Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exams

The meanings of Dazai’s words are clear when you look at them in the context of what he learned after losing Oda. Oda decided to throw his life away to avenge the children after Gide. He achieved justice then. However, nobody was saved. The children were already dead. Oda himself wasn’t saved. Dazai lost his only friend. 

“Something?” I looked at Dazai. “There isn’t anything, Dazai. It’s all over. Everything. Whatever else happens now is meaningless - just like I’m about to do. AM I wrong?”  “Odasaku...” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording but - don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be soemthing...”

[...]

Oda’s march against Gide isn’t just tragic, it’s a deliberate choice. It was a suiide. He’s given several oppurtunities to just walk away, or wait for something else to give him a reason to live and he doesn’t. His final actions hurt more than they helped. Yes, he did save Dazai in a way by throwing his life away, but Dazai also lost the person who could understand him. Oda could have lived. He could have done more if he had lived. Dazai even says so in dead apple, saving people is the more beautiful path, but you have to be alive to see that beauty. 

This is also why Kunikida and Oda have such a connection to Dazai. Underneath their struggles to be a good man they are both constantly dealing with suicidal feelings. 

Kunikida is far more fragile than he lets on. Part of the reason he attaches himself to ideals rather than people, is because caring about people hurts, and he is so afraid of failing the people in his life (the same way Oda eventually failed to protect the children) that he can’t admit the depth to which he cares about them.

Kunikida struggles to save everyone in front of him, but that’s also because Kunikida is internally someone who is very fragile. He can’t handle the loss, especially losing those he is close to. When Atsushi is hospitalized after his first fight with Akutagawa, he pretends to be unconcerned. When Atsushi wants to save Kyoka, Kunikida tries to persuade him to not save her. Oda and Kunikida are both avoidant characters, Oda avoided ever stepping inside of Dazai’s loneliness, and Kunikida avoids getting close to others because they fear the people they cannot save. Kunikida cares so much and so deeply, that he’s completely shattered when he fails someone. 

Every strategy by the detective agency’s enemies relies on crushing Kunikida because he’s the easiest target. When he fails like this he wants to give up. Kunikida and Oda have this dark underside to their actions where they’re fighting continually to be better, but when they fail, they long to throw their lives away and give up the struggle. 

Part of the reason they’re attracted to Dazai is deep down Kunikida and Oda both have the same suicidal feelings. Kunikida knows that his ideals will never live up to the reality. 

However, secretly he longs to fail so he won’t have to struggle against it anymore. 

“I let go of Dazai. I understand what he’s aying. Perhaps righteousness isn’t something you seek in others, but something you search for inside of yourself. Even then... Miss Sasaki is dead, and so is Rokuzo.  All I’ve found in my search for righteousness within myself is a sense of hopelessness.”

Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam

The question is can you continue to live? Even if you fail over and over again to do better. Even if the things you try to protect all die. Kunikida’s arc so far mirrors Oda’s. The things he told himself he would protect, he failed to. The promises he made, he breaks. He said he was never going to watch a child die in front of him, and then it happens. 

He said he was never going to fail to protect the agency again, but then the agency became the victims of the hunting dogs, and Kunikida had to go completely on the run. He said he was going to throw himself away in a big bang against the hunting dogs to show his ideals would never fail, and instead.

He even loses his ideals and his ability to write in the notebook. So, what is the difference between Kunikida and Oda that allows Kunikida to keep struggling where Oda did not. I think it’s not really a difference between them, so much as it’s a difference between Dazai. Dazai’s grown since then and realized his mistakes with Oda, and because of that doesn’t stay at a comfortable distance from Kunikida.

Dazai has grown enough between then and now he’s able to reach people who feel similiarly to him. He understood the suicidal feelings of both Kunikida, and Oda, but he didn’t reach out to Oda until it was too late. However, Dazai has grown to the point where he not only understands Kunikida’s struggle and sympathizes with him, but he’s also able to say the words he couldn’t say to Oda until it was too late. 

There’s no such thing as a point of no return. There is no point where everything is already over. Even if you fail to protect someone, even if you fail to protect everyone. 

"Anything I would never want to lose will be lost. It is given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it. There's nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging life of suffering."

Dazai is still the same person that said this. Deep down that’s what Kunikida and Oda both fear, that after Oda failed the orphans, that after Kunikida could not save an innocent child in front of them, that no matter how hard they fought all of their attempts to protect someone would fail that way. At which point their fighting seemed to become meaningless.

Dazai knowing those feelings has moved past that lament. He still believes that the struggle may be meaningless, but he reassures them that they can keep fighting anyway. 

If there’s no great glorious ideal to live for, if nothing we do matters, than all that matters is what we do. The world isn’t good, the world will never be as good as we want it to be, yet Kunikida can still strive to be good in the face of that.

[bungou-stray-dingus]

Hello, I'm back! 💕 May I please ask for a serving of soft!dom Ranpo with a smol, shy female s/o scenario please~ and if you don't mind, maybe add a dash of daddy kink? (But if you're not comfortable with that, it's okayyy) THANK YOU ♥️

a/n : OOOOH a little bit of spicy snack boy >.^ SAY NO MORE! ALL MY LATE NIGHT INDULGENCES HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THIS MOMENT! GOsh I hope this is good because I am SWEATING writing this. But Ranpo is a whole snack.

T/W : Slight NSFW, A little Dash of Daddy Kink, Soft!Dom BB BOI, Fluff;

Ranpo

This boy loved how sweet and innocent you were, you were as sweet as the candy that he binge eats. But it wasn't just your sweetness or your innocence, you were also on the shorter side. Honestly, according to him, you were the dictionary definition of the perfect little cinnamon bun, which is what he called you often. Not only were you innocent and sweet, but you were also shy, which he was perfectly okay with. He didn't like talking much, so the two of you found a way to talk with your eyes and different facial expressions. Ranpo had brought you up to the Agency members once, and they (Dazai mainly) had begged him to bring you in, they wanted to meet you, the girl who had managed her way into Ranpo's secluded, snack filled life.

When he had first brought you to the Agency to meet everyone it was a big deal for him and you, he could tell how nervous you were about meeting his coworkers who had in a sense become family to him, but he had reassured you that they would all love you. "Not as much as I love you obviously, but how could they not love you? You're amazing Y/N." His hand way on your thigh, he was always touching you in some way, especially out in public. You were clearly the most beautiful girl in Yokohama, and he wanted everyone to know that you were his and his only. If anyone even looked in your direction he would squeeze your thigh, or his hand would trail down to your ass and give it a light squeeze causing a small squeal to escape your lips, your face dropping as you tried to hide from the strangers gazing eyes.

The train ride was short, when you got off the train Ranpo kept his hand on your lower back, hovering just above where your back curved to your butt. If needed, he could swiftly move his hand down, reaching under your skirt to pinch one cheek, letting any man who's eyes lingered a little longer than necessary know that you were taken by him. He brought you into the Agency building, watching your facial expressions as you took in the coffee shop on the lower level, breathing in through your nose, letting the smell of coffee fill your nostrils. You closed your eyes, sighing and smiling to him. "Adorable. I could kiss you." He said, you hadn't noticed how close he had gotten until you felt his breath, hot against the lope of your ear. His teeth grazed against the sensitive skin and your body shuddered. "R-Ranpo... there's people..." You were highly aware of the man behind the counter watching the exchange between the two of you.

"I don't mind. You're mine, aren't you?" His words were not much more than a whisper, his lips were moving lower down to your neck. His hands were on the same downward course, inching teasingly slow down your backside. Your breath hitched in your throat as you felt his nails dig into your upper thighs, right below the hem of your skirt. "Of course I'm yours... B-but... they're waiting upstairs." You tried to get his mind back on track. It wouldn't be unlike him to try to take you right there in one of the booths. It's not that he was actually into doing things in public, but he had a one track mind, and when he suddenly felt the urge, he acted on it no matter where you two were. He had riled you up many times, leaving you a flustered frustrated mess until you got back to the privacy of your own home.

He sighed, pulling away slightly as your words brought him back to the moment at hand. "We stay for twenty minutes. I need to get you home to deal with what you've caused." He murmured, his voice low and sultry. You felt the heat pooling between your thighs, but you had to keep a straight face when you met his coworkers, you had to make a good impression. Your teeth tugged at your bottom lip as you tried to contain yourself, rubbing your thighs together, literally trying anything to get a grip on yourself. It felt like your knees were shaking, and Ranpo noticed immediately. "Mmm, my little princess, you're not as innocent as you want people to believe. Be patient for Daddy, won't you?"

He led you over to the elevator, and the sexual tension between the two of you felt like a thick fog. You didn't know how long the two of you could hold off. He was practically undressing you with his eyes already, and it didn't matter how loose his pants were, you could see the slight bulge growing between his legs. As soon as the elevator doors shut he had you cornered against the wall, his arms on both sides of your head. His lips crashed into yours, his knee pushing your legs apart before bringing his leg up to drag across your most sensitive area. You moaned into the kiss, bucking your hips against his leg, desperate for his touch. He pulled away, a low chuckle escaping his lips as he looked down and saw the small wet spot on his pants. "So needy, you're already so wet for Daddy. I might just make you wait a little longer, how about that?" You didn't have time to answer before the doors slid open and he grabbed your wrist to pull you out.

The office door opened and out stepped a beautiful woman, her hair was short and black, adorned with a butterfly clip on the side. Her eyes were a beautiful magenta, but you could tell by looking at her that she meant business. Her outfit seemed very business like, a knee length A-line skirt and a white button up with red heels. She looked you over, and you couldn't tell if it was a look of approval or disapproval, but it made you slightly nervous. "So this is her?" She asked, looking over to Ranpo, her eyes scanning over his face as she waited for his response. You didn't like the way she looked at him, the smug smile spreading on her lips as she stared at him a little longer than necessary. "This is her." Ranpo finally said, a hint of pride mixed in with his tone. The jealousy that had been slowly trying to creep it's way in had all but vanished when you heard him say those three simple words. He moved his hand down to intertwine his fingers with yours, giving your hand a soft squeeze to help calm your nerves.

The woman turned on her heel and walked back into the office, not another word spoken, and you could have sworn that you sensed a feeling of agitation emitting from off her. You tried not let her mood affect you too much, even though the look that she had given Ranpo would bother you for a while, especially considering they worked together and saw each other almost every day... was there something there that you had to be worried about? Your stomach sank as your pessimism took control, all of your doubts and fears formed into one. Not even his hand in yours seemed to calm your nerves, and the feeling that was once sexual tension that had been building inside you turned into flat out tension.

You couldn't really focus on all the people in the room, they had their eyes on you, but you couldn't seem to lift your gaze from the ground. "She's just shy, isn't my little cinnamon bun precious?" Ranpo said, the feeling of his thumb brushing along your cheek should have been enough to calm you, but even still, the only thing you could think of was him possibly doing the same to the beautiful bob haired woman. He began his introduction, pointing around the room as he said everyone's names. "Kunikida, Kenjii, Atsushi, Tanizaki, Naomi, Kyouka, Dazai, Fukuzawa, and last but certainly not least, Doctor Yosano." When his hand motioned to her the pit in your stomach only grew larger. He said her name with a sort of devoutness. He had never told you anything about this woman, he had never brought her up to you at all, yet he looked at her with almost the same eyes he would give you after a long day of work, when you were the only person he wanted to see... apparently that wasn't the case though... maybe he had more than one person he adored. "Everyone, this is Y/N." He said your name the same way he said hers, but that didn't make you feel any better. In fact, it made you feel worse. Did he think of you the same way he thought of her, or did he think of her the same way he thought of you? Either way, it didn't seem very good.

"Ranpo-kun, can you come over here for a minute?" Her voice might have seemed seductive to anyone else, but to you it was piercing, like a needle going straight through one ear and out the other. The hardest part to handle was the fact that he obliged, leaving you to stand in the middle of the office so he could walk over to her. She shifted her long, slender legs, folding one over the other and leaned back on the desk she was sitting on. You could tell what she was doing, you had done the same type of pose multiple times at home to try to get Ranpo's attention, and the worst part was that it was working for her just as well as it worked for you.

Your eyes were focused on what was going on across the room, unaware of the man that had been making his way over to you. He tapped your shoulder lightly and you quickly turned around, having to look up to actually see his face. He was obviously a very charming man, and extremely cocky, you could see that in the way that he smiled down at you. "So, you look a little uncomfortable. How about I show you around the office?" You tried to remember the mans name from the ones Ranpo had listed off. Tanizaki? Atsushi? Kunikida? No.... oh, that's right. He was Dazai, the one that Ranpo had warned you about before you had even come here. Apparently he was a flirt and a natural born charmer.

Ranpo had wanted you to try to stay away from Dazai unless he was around, but your emerald eyed boyfriend was currently being held up by the beautiful doctor, so you might as well have a little fun. Of course you would never do anything to actually hurt Ranpo emotionally, you couldn't bear the thought of losing him, but you weren't going to just stand by and watch as Yosano clearly flirted with your boyfriend, whether he noticed it or not.

"Is there anywhere that you'd like to see first?" Dazai asked, leaning against the desk as he stared at you, his eyes shut, a small smile on his lips, his head cocked to the side. You could definitely see now why he was the heartthrob of the Agency.

"The coffee shop... downstairs... i-it smelled really nice. I'd love to have a cup." You said it softly, so soft that nobody else had been able to hear you at all, even Dazai had barely made out what you said, but he heard enough. He nodded and pushed himself away from the desk, wrapping his arm loosely around your waist as he led you to the door. You weren't expecting him to be so touchy, and you weren't sure if this would be considered going to far.

You used the time alone with Dazai to learn more about Ranpo and Yosano's relationship, finding out if it was platonic or if there was something more there. When you finally heard the full story you felt awful for even assuming, and even more awful for thinking that leaving the office upstairs to go with Dazai was a good idea.

Meanwhile, Ranpo had finally finished his conversation with Yosano. She had been talking to him about how cute he and you looked together, and that she wasn't used to seeing someone shorter than him. She was proud of him honestly, that he had found someone that he seemed to be truly in love with. She saw how he would open his phone occasionally while sitting at his desk, and his eyes would open for only a second to read the text, then his eyes would close and a wide smile would spread across his face as he leaned back in his chair. She knew before he had even brought you up that he had found someone, and that someone made him truly happy. That's all she wanted for him, he was like a brother to her, and she believed that he deserved nothing but the best.

He turned around, thinking that he would find you still standing in the middle of the office, or maybe sitting on the couch talking to Naomi or Kyouka, but he saw that you were gone, and not only that, but Dazai was gone too. He didn't want to make a scene, of course not, but thinking of you being anywhere with Dazai had him slightly irritated, maybe even... jealous. He had no reason to be jealous obviously, he knew that you would never actually make a move on Dazai, but it wasn't you that he was worried about. You were shy and soft spoken, if Dazai tried anything on you, you would be too nervous to say anything about it or tell him to stop.

His eyes shot open, flashing his beautiful emerald green irises to everyone in the office. They knew he meant business then, clearing a path for him to the door. He already knew where the two of you had went, he thought it was quite foolish of Dazai to try to even take you out of the office in the first place. First thing, he would know exactly where you were, his ultra deduction wasn't just used for crime cases. Also, you were HIS, so it took some nerve for Dazai to sweep you off somewhere to be alone with him, especially when Ranpo was around. He wasn't exactly angry about it, no, just irritated and he wanted to show everyone in the office that you belonged to him, specifically Dazai.

You were at the little booth in the front of the small cafe, sipping from your coffee cup, trying to avoid Dazai's stare. When you put your cup down his hands immediately moved to capture yours. "Wha- What are you doing?" You stammered out, trying to pull your hands away, but his grip was tight. "You have your doubts about Ranpo, and I'm not going to tell you whether you're right or wrong about them. But I will tell you that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes upon. It would be an honor, a great privilege if you would commit a double suicide with me." His eyes were twinkling, filled with excitement at the possible prospect of having someone to do the fateful dead with him.

"I... uh... uhm... no thank you." You yanked your hands away, and just as you were about to get up you felt a set of strong arms wrap around your waist. You turned your neck to see his green eyes staring into yours, and you couldn't think of anything to say, so you shifted your body in his arms, burying your face in his shoulder. He tsked at Dazai, shaking his head at the man at the table. "I'm not shocked, just disappointed that you would attempt such a thing with MY girlfriend. I know that she is absolutely gorgeous, stunning even, but she is mine. I don't share any of my sweets, her included." His voice was stern, and you could only imagine how he would look. The thought of his face, matching the serious tone in his voice, it had a fire burning deep inside of you.

He led you to the elevator, leaving Dazai at the table in silence. You still didn't know what to say, but Ranpo had an idea of how to make you talk. You had been staring down at your shoes as you waited for the elevator to come down from the top floor, but Ranpo didn't like your silence, not at all. He grabbed your chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to look at him. "You belong to me, isn't that right my little kitten?" You hummed in response, but that wasn't enough. He shook his head and got closer, his face mere inches from your own. "I want to hear you say it." You were putty in his hands, and you loved when he was domineering like this. It turned you on and he knew it, he knew exactly what he was doing. "I'm your's, Daddy. No one else's." You whispered, and you could have sworn that you heard him moan.

The elevator doors opened and he pushed you inside, slamming his finger into the button repeatedly to close the doors. He pressed the top button, but as soon as the elevator started moving he pushed the emergency stop button. When he turned to look back at you his eyes were lidded, a darker version of the beautiful emerald green. That look alone had you practically dripping, and you were rubbing your thighs together, trying to feel anything, any type of friction. He was leaning in the far corner, watching you with a smirk. "Mmm, Daddy's little kitten is so impatient. Do you need my help?"

He walked over to where you were, moving to stand behind you. You grinded yourself against him as his hands traveled agonizingly slow up your thighs, under the hem of your skirt until he reached your panties. "You're soaking already, has Daddy been keeping you waiting too long?" He was kissing along your neck, biting it occasionally as he toyed with your over sensitive slit making your hips buck into his touch. "Let's see how many times I can make you come before someone saves us, hmm?"

A/N : I WAS SWEATING WHILE WRITING THIS AND I REALLY DO HOPE THAT IT'S GOOD BECAUSE I WAS LIKE "OOOHHHH MY GOSH HOW DOES ONE SERVE SOME GOOD FUCKIN FOOD!!!???" BUT I REALLY DO HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

[drangues]

Point of No Return (Raised Together AU)

Dazai Osamu is twelve years old when he commits his first real crime.

In the future, he will rarely remember crimes of this magnitude, regardless of how bloody or brutal they will end up being- In the end, they all blur together, and when asked, he’d say he couldn’t care more about one or the other. Which man died screaming over what isn’t something that affects him.

(In the far future, he will rarely remember crimes of this magnitude, though not for lack of trying, and not for lack of regret.)

But this crime- His first crime- Will always, always stick with him.

(This crime, even in the far future, is one he feels no true regret over.)

He remembers that it began with blood.

xxx——xxx——xxx

Nakajima Atsushi has been gone for twenty-two hours, thirty-four minutes, and seventeen seconds by the time Dazai decides that he needs to figure out where the Headmaster has taken his closest- And only, if he’s being honest- Friend.

(Yes, he had been keeping track of the time.

Yes, he has not learned That Man’s name. He refuses to.)

It was, admittedly, a very risky decision on his part- After all, if he was caught after hours, looking for the Headmaster’s favorite unfavorite child, it wouldn’t be him that would get punished. He learned, after the first few times he tried to intervene, about how That Man seemed to enjoy punishing Atsushi for “corrupting” the other children.

(He remembers when he realized. The stench of burnt flesh still feels like it clings to him, and the echos of Atsushi’s screams ring in his ears when he’s alone.

Dazai has found that all he can do for him is be well once they see each other again. Someone needs to clean his wounds.)

Nonetheless, finding Atsushi was a risk he had to take- Punishments normally took half of this time at most, provided it wasn’t a full moon (Look into that, he reminds himself, why then- But no, no, not important-). That it was taking this long over something so stupid was… Concerning.

He slips out of his room.

xxx——xxx——xxx

It doesn’t take Dazai much longer to figure out where That Man has placed Atsushi, though getting there is another matter entirely- The orphanage is a big place, after all, and if he gives away what he’s trying to do, it could make things worse.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to find any keys once he gets there- Dazai has long become used to picking locks, and the ones at the orphanage are hardly new.

The basement door creaks as it swings open, and he holds his breath for what must be a minute while he waits and sees if anyone heard.

Nothing.

He sneaks down the stairs.

(It was what he found at the bottom that broke him.)

xxx——xxx——xxx

The first thing he notices is that Atsushi is curled up in the center of the room, shaking like a leaf and either entirely unaware of his presence or too terrified to care.

The second is the small, dark puddle under Atsushi’s tiny body.

It smells like rusted iron.

He wastes no time at all in going to his side, and the dull noises of his feet hitting the floor don’t bother him. He doesn’t have to worry about their caretakers hearing him down here.

(God knows they’d complain about having to hear the screams.)

“Atsushi,” he does his best to keep too much emotion out of his voice, because that isn’t what he needs, right now. “Atsushi, are you- Can you-“

He chokes back the obvious questions of ‘Are you okay’ or ‘Can you stand’ because the obvious answer is no, but he needs to say something-

“Atsushi, can you see me right now?”

It takes a frightening few moments for the silver haired boy to even register his words, and another few moments for him to respond, but when the glaze recedes from his eyes, just a bit, and he nods, Dazai sighs in relief.

“Good. That’s- That’s good,” he swallowed. “Can you- Talk?”

Another pause, and Atsushi coughs, voice weak, but-

“Ye-es. Yes, I can- I can talk, Osamu-san.”

He sounds like he’s been screaming.

“Sorry for taking so… So long-“

“It’s fine, it isn’t your fault, don’t apologize- Here, I’ll help you up-“

Atsushi freezes, grip going tight, and his mouth opens to respond, but Dazai is already lifting him up, and-

There’s a pained, hazy whine, and Dazai freezes. Looks down.

Ah.

Why didn’t I look more closely?

Dazai has found the source of the blood, it seems- It seeps from a clearly painful wound on Atsushi’s foot, reopened from its attempts to close thanks to Dazai’s efforts.

Not that it could close.

It’s been nailed to the ground, after all. And the nail hasn’t been removed.

He stares, eyes blank. Tremors run up and down Atsushi’s body, and he realizes, belatedly, that he’s still holding him.

Very, very gently, he sets him down, doing his best to be mindful of his foot.

He stares again.

They’d nailed his foot his-

They’d shoved and nail to it and just-

They’d-

Dazai thinks, somewhat morbidly, that the nail makes Atsushi’s foot look even smaller than it is.

It probably went through bone.

It must’ve hurt so much.

There’s so much blood-

He blinks, feeling sluggish and hazy. Atsushi. Right. He needs to- He needs to make sure he’s okay. He needs to get the nail out.

There’s a hammer, not too far away. Just out of Atsushi’s reach, actually.

Dazai picks it up, noting, distantly, that there’s blood on the head.

He thinks he knows what this was for.

Luckily, the hammer can be used to remove the nails. Dazai doesn’t know if he could do it with his fingers.

“I’m going-“ his voice sounds hoarse. He clears his throat. “I’m going to try to… Remove the nail. Okay, Atsushi?”

He gets a blank stare in response.

“Atsushi?”

The boy jumps this time, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He nods, though, hands shaking.

It’s silent, and Dazai doesn’t know why he can’t move his body.

“They. He. He tried to make me- To make me h-hammer it in myse-“ Atsushi chokes on his own words, shaky violently, now. “I c-couldn’t- The hammer- I-“

“It’s okay.”

Dazai’s own voice sounds hollow, to his ears. Atsushi looks up at him, tears trailing down his face, eyes wide.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.”

He kneels down, movements careful, and slots the hammer over the nail, doing his best to ignore how firmly it settles against Atsushi’s skin.

That Man really drove it in-

Hands tighten on his shoulders, and before he can think too deeply about anything, he pulls the hammer up and away from Atsushi’s foot.

Then he throws it, as hard as he can, to the other side if the basement.

Dazai doesn’t remember being this angry before.

“It’s okay,” he says again, voice dull. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. It’s okay-“

Atsushi cries.

xxx——xxx——xxx

Atsushi liked to tell him about the books he read, in the quiet of the library, as he hid from the other children, or even the adults. He talked about fantasies of children escaping their tormentors, of candy houses in the woods, about true love born and raised at midnight.

(“Osamu-san,” he’d wondered aloud one night, rain pounding at their thin walls as the cold seeped into their bones, “Osamu-san, wouldn’t it be nice if that was us?”

It’s a foolish notion, Dazai knows it is, but he’s never been one to keep Atsushi from the things that keep him alive and close by, selfish as that may be.

“It would be, he’d replied, “Maybe it could be, one day.”

Atsushi had giggled, then, the sound muffled by his hands and the cold and the pain weeping through their bodies like mud.

It was a nice sound.)

He talked, sometimes, about the characters being mad. He’d mentioned that sometimes, they were so mad they saw red, so angry that they couldn’t control themselves.

So furious they couldn’t think straight.

Dazai is not seeing red. He is perfectly in control, and he is, most definitely, thinking straight.

He considers, for a moment, if this makes him a monster, for what he’s about to do next.

No, he thinks. No.

It doesn’t.

Because a monster is shaped like a grown man with an awful haircut who takes and takes and hurts and hurts, who targets the only goddamn person in the world that Dazai cares about.

A monster uses a god-shaped hole to justify his actions.

And a monster is going to be dead by day’s end, because Dazai is going to kill it.

xxx——xxx——xxx

It isn’t as easy as simply up and leaving Atsushi to do the deed, however- His friend is in no condition to stay with him while he does what he has to do.

Even now, Dazai can see the small tremors running up and down his body, and choked, raspy wheezes pull their way from his throat. The aftershocks of his crying fit, no doubt.

He purses his lips, tucking the smaller boy under his chin as he thought.

Perhaps… He could leave him down here? Not permanently, of course- They’d need to escape- But sound didn’t travel well between the basement and the main house, so he wouldn’t have to hear anything.

The key would be making sure he didn’t have to look at the source of his trauma when he was alone.

Dazai hummed under his breath, eyes mapping out what he could see in the darkness- There was a cage, at the far back, but there were manacles there, and he doesn’t fancy having Atsushi wait for him inside of iron bars, so that’s a no. The corner to the left of the cage is also out, because that’s where he’d thrown the hammer and nail. Definitely not the center of the room, because there was still a blood puddle there…

His eyes fell on the right corner, right behind the rickety stairs that led into the basement.

It was dark, so he doesn’t think Atsushi would be forced to see the rest of the area, even if he turned around. It’s positioning meant that it would hide him from any adults who came down the stairs to investigate, though Dazai hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Definitely not perfect, but it would have to do.

“Atsushi,” he murmured. His voice was still dull, and he winced. “Atsushi, I’m going to move us, alright?”

There wasn’t a verbal response, but he felt the boy nod his head as much as he could, with it still tucked under Dazai’s chin. He took that for consent and, after a moment to brace them both, he lifted him halfway off the ground, keeping a careful arm around his waist so he didn’t fall.

(As much as Dazai would love to simply carry him, the orphanage hardly feeds them enough for him to be able to. He’d just exhaust himself, and he couldn’t be tired.

Not now.)

Once they’d moved, Dazai took great care in positioning Atsushi so that his back was to the center of the room. He went to pull away, then, but the panicked whine he got in response made him hesitate.

“Don’t leave. Please, please don’t leave me alone Osamu-“

“I’m not going to,” he pressed his face against Atsushi’s hair, sighing. “Atsushi, there’s. There’s something I have to do, okay? I won’t be gone long, I promise. Just stay here and I’ll be back soon.”

Atsushi’s hands don’t loosen their grip on his arms, but Dazai can’t bring himself to care.

Eventually, still shaking, they let go.

“Promise?”

Dazai smiles, then.

“Always.”

It was not a nice smile.

xxx——xxx——xxx

After convincing Atsushi that he isn’t leaving permanently, Dazai makes his way up the stairs- He’d considered, just for a moment, taking the hammer with him, but he doesn’t want to risk drawing Atsushi’s attention to it, again.

Best to leave it where it lay- Not like he wanted to touch it, again.

Unfortunately, this did mean he had to think of a new way to get rid of the Headmaster- Finding another hammer would take too long, after all, and now that he thought about it, there was too much risk that it’d make noise.

A knife, then? He knew the way to the kitchens, and while it might be messy, he doesn’t think you can mess up slitting someone’s throat.

Even if you are eleven and horribly malnourished.

Luckily for Dazai, the kitchen happens to be close by- Really, it’s just a matter of avoiding the floorboards that creak and being very, very quiet when he opens the drawers to look for the right thing.

Definitely not a butter knife, he thinks to himself. A cleaver is too big, though- Could i use it efficiently? And a steak knife might be too small…

His eyes fall on one of the larger knives in the set. A kitchen knife, was it? Seems light enough… Seems large enough, too. He picks it up for a moment, testing the weight, swinging it once or twice- Atsushi mentioned characters in his books doing that once, he thinks, and it’s something to do, if nothing else- And he thinks on what he’s about to do.

If this works- If Dazai really walks out of this room, knife in hand- A man will be dead by daybreak.

His hands will be bloody. It isn’t a decision he can take back, once he makes it.

Is he really going to do this? Can he do it? Does he want to-

(He thinks of Atsushi, curled up and shaking in the center of a room, tiny foot nailed to the ground-

He thinks of a piercing, painful hunger, of seeing Atsushi’s arms bloodied from how hungry the boy was-

He thinks of cold, of midnights full of pain, spent curled up in the corner of his shared room with Atsushi, thin arms wrapped around each other, murmured stories spilling from the silver haired boy’s lips-

He thinks-

“Osamu-san, wouldn’t it be nice if that was us?”

“It would be. Maybe it could be, one day.”

He thinks-

“Promise?”

“Always.”

He thinks, he thinks, he thinks-)

xxx——xxx——xxx

Dazai stares up at a wooden door- The stuff of nightmares, for kids like him, for kids like Atsushi. The home of their monster under the bed.

He opens the door, careful to keep it quiet.

Nothing moves in the darkness. He steps inside, closing it with a quiet click.

He wants to do this. He has to do this. They’ll both die here if he doesn’t.

He won’t regret it.

He can’t.

xxx——xxx——xxx

It’s warm, is Dazai’s first thought.

He stares at the body on the bed, blood slowly but surely seeping into the fabric of the sheets- Probably staining it, too, now that he thinks about it.

Good, he thinks, spiteful. That Man didn’t deserve clean place to die. Really, he deserved worse than a simple stabbing, too, but Dazai was short on time, and it was dark, and if the Headmaster has woken up and alerted someone-

He shakes the thought off, the action reminding him of the blood caking on his clothes and his skin. He made a face at the feeling.

And now it’s sticky. How fun.

Unfortunately, he and Atsushi need to leave- After all, he has no doubt that the other orphanage workers would claim it was Atsushi or himself who had done it, and he sees no reason to believe that whoever came to investigate would doubt them.

(He’d considered, briefly, killing the other workers to give them more time- They were just as much monsters as That Man was, after all… But no. Leaving was more important.)

He hopes Atsushi hasn’t been too upset while he was gone.

xxx——xxx——xxx

Getting back to Atsushi turns out to be the easy part- He opens the door with ease, still making as little noise as possible, but steps down the stairs leading to the basement loudly enough to alert Atsushi that someone is coming.

It’s getting out that’s the problem.

Because as it turns out, stepping foot out of the only place you’ve ever known, no matter how awful it was to you, is terrifying for both of them.

Dazai stares up at the gates before them.

Of course this is where he freezes. In front of gates. Not even when he’s killing someone. Of fucking course-

Atsushi’s hand tightens around his own, and he realizes, belatedly, that they’ve been clinging to each other since he got Atsushi out of the basement.

He tightens his own hand in response.

“Dazai-san,” the silver haired boy stops, face hesitant and voice hoarse. “Dazai-san, we… Need to go. Right? You’ll get in trouble for- For helping me if we don’t.”

Atsushi looks up at him, eyes still somewhat distant, but.

But it was better than it was.

Remember why you’re doing this.

It isn’t as if Atsushi doesn’t understand the situation- His friend is hardly stupid, and he knows what the blood that covered him means- So instead of arguing, he begins scaling the gates.

Opening them would make too much noise, right now.

Dazai refuses to ruin this. Not when they’ve come this far.

xxx——xxx——xxx

It had taken them a day to get out of the woods that surrounded the living hell that had been their life (they could’ve been quicker, but better safe than sorry- Atsushi is certain he heard people looking for them, after all).

It had taken them a further week of living on the streets, terrified of being found and dragged back, kicking and screaming, to find any hope of salvation.

(“I don’t want to go back, Osamu-san,” Atsushi had sobbed on their second night. “I don’t want to go back, they’ll take you, they’ll hurt you-“

“It’s okay, Atsushi. It’s okay-“

“Don’t go,” Atsushi choked out, shaking. “Don’t go, don’t go, you promised-“

“I did,” he pressed a kiss against Atsushi’s hair, eyes blank. “I won’t leave. I promise. I promise, I promise, I promise-“

The words had continued well into the night,)

Then again, maybe he shouldn’t be calling it salvation.

It’s warm.

Dazai stares at the man across from them, eyes dull. Atsushi is buried in his side, half trying to avoid looking at the bloody corpse on the medical table, half unable to look away.

He doesn’t think they’ve been apart for more than a minute since their escape.

Ōgai Mori turns his gaze to them, eyes wide, and there’s a touch of something unhinged there- But Dazai tightens his grip on Atsushi’s hand and remains in place.

They have nowhere else to go, after all.

“Both of you,” the black hair man starts, “are my witnesses… And the only other ones here to witness the last words of the former boss of the Port Mafia. He died of illness, and passed on leadership to his doctor with his dying breath.”

Mori’s grin stretches wider.

“Isn’t that right, Dazai Osamu-kun and Nakajima Atsushi-kun?”

And Dazai thinks of meeting the man, and his words at the time.

(“Twenty-three stab wounds,” he’d murmured, “is not an insignificant crime.”

Dazai knew a threat when he heard one, and the man smirked at his unasked question.

“Join with the Port Mafia, and I can promise protection from the consequences of your actions. You’ll be well suited, I’m certain.”

Dazai… Considers. Slides his gaze down to Atsushi, tucked into his side, eyes wide and the tell tale purple-on-gold of his ability peering at the one who’d invaded their temporary hideaway of an abandoned building.

(And hadn’t that been an event in and of itself- Discovering abilities, discovering that they had them-)

Mori’s smirk stretches wider, and Dazai thinks, absentmindedly, that only monsters how that many teeth.

“And your little friend can even join, too.”)

Dazai is sure that, if not for No Longer Human, it would be claws digging into his side instead of Atsushi’s tight grip.

Neither of them move, though, and all Dazai can do is stare at the man in front of them.

If it was just him, he wouldn’t care. If it was just him, he could deal with it. But it isn’t just him.

(Dazai thinks of bloodied nails and hammer and an aching, desperate need-)

They have nowhere else to go.

Against his side, Atsushi gives a tiny nod.

“Yes, Mori-san.”

xxx——xxx——xxx

Dazai Osamu is twelve years old when he commits his first crime in a fit of desperation.

It won’t be the last.

xxx——xxx——xxx

Point of No Return- (Expression) Phrase denoting when one must continue on with their current path, due to turning back being physically impossible or dangerous in some manner

xxx——xxx——xxx

Author’s Note: Nyanon here again- And here’s what I’ve been working on! Hopefully this lives up to my last little… Drabble? One-shot? Though it’s definitely more violent than the last one… Uh, whoops?

Also, super sorry if this wasn’t word for word on anything that popped up in universe? For example, I couldn’t completely remember Mori’s little speech to Dazai… Hope that’s alright!

[dammitlogan]

Take a Break | Kunikida Doppo x Reader

wc: 1.3k

a/n: Kunikida really needs some more love. He deserves the world T-T Much like Kunikida learns here, remember that self care is important! It’s okay to take breaks and ask for help. Stay healthy and happy! :)

You narrow your eyes worriedly as you watch Kunikida from across the room. If you didn’t know any better, you would have assumed he hadn’t been sleeping lately. But for someone who follows order and scheduling so religiously, there’s no way that he would skip out on his basic needs, right? Yet, watching him file through paper after paper, dark circles under his eyes, made worry make a home for itself in the pit of your stomach.

“Ah, Kunikida, maybe you should take a break?” you offer, setting gentle hands on his hunched shoulders. You attempt to rub some of the tension out as you watch him work over his shoulder. He relaxes under your touch, but refuses to pause his flurry of paperwork.

“I can’t. I still have forty more cases to file until I’ll have met the quota I set that would allow for my break.”

“F-forty!?” With as tirelessly as he was working, he had only filed twenty cases since coming into the office today nearly three hours ago. “Kunikida, by the time you finish all of that, everyone would have left the office already...”

“I can’t afford to pause with as much work as the President needs done.”

“But you look like you haven’t been sleeping,” you push, “Shouldn’t you at least stop to eat lunch?” Atsushi looks up from his work at your words. He takes a moment to study Kunikida. Worry settles on his face as well.

“(Y/N)’s right, Kunikida. When was the last time you took a break from work?”

Dazai pops his head up from his desk, seemingly waking up from a long nap. “Ah, ah, ah,” he tuts, shaking his finger at you and Atsushi teasingly, “You both should know better by now. Kunikida isn’t going to stop working until everything the President needs to be done is done!” Suddenly, his face morphs into a mischievous grin that reminds you of the Cheshire Cat. “Unless... you happen to distract him from his work by causing trouble for him!”

“Dazai, don’t you dare! Get your damn work done, you walking waste of bandages!” Kunikida snaps, shooting up from his desk and pointing an accusatory finger at the man in front of him. Dazai tiredly flops back over his desk with a groan.

“But, Kunikidaaaaaaa, that’s so much work! There’s no way I can focus. Especially now that I passed a nearby river that looked perfect to throw myself in on my way to work today,” he whines, pressing his face into the wooden desk. Kunikida is about to berate Dazai further when he grits his teeth suddenly.

“I don’t have time for this,” he huffs, sitting back down at his desk. He shuffles through some papers with an angry expression on his face. “Just this conversation has set be back at least two cases.” You sigh at Kunikida’s stubbornness and workaholism, but return to your desk nonetheless. As you stare at your awaiting paperwork, you can’t help but think about what Dazai had said. Causing trouble for Kunikida, huh?

“Tanizaki! Could you come here for a second?” you call. The boy looks up from his work and looks over at you. He points to himself in a questioning manner, confused as to why you would need his assistance. Without giving anything away or further explaining yourself, you smile and beckon him over with a wave of your hand. Obediently, he walks over to your desk. He's about to question you when you motion for him to come closer. Once he does, you lean in close to his ear and inform him of the plan you had formulated mere moments ago.

“(Y/N), I don’t know if that’s the best idea. Won’t it just make him angry?” Tanizaki anxiously shifts his eyes over to Kunikida’s desk. He doesn’t seem to have noticed your little rendezvous with Tanizaki at your desk as he continues to fill out paper after paper at a frenzied pace.

“It’s the only way.”

Tanizaki nods, and a serious look comes over the both of you. After the two of you review your strategy, you rise from your seat and cautiously approach Kunikida from behind. Slowly, you reach your hands up, creeping closer to his head. You’re thankful for how indulged in his work Kunikida is at the moment, rendering him unaware of your presence. You quietly take a deep breath and ready yourself for the chaos that is about to ensue. Your eyes flicker over to Tanizaki, who nods seriously. Now.

In one fluid swoop, you snatch Kunikida’s glasses from his head. You dash towards the door as quickly as possible. On your way out, you toss the glasses to Tanizaki, who masks the handoff using his ability. You can’t help but giggle as you hear Kunikida angrily call your name, stomping out the door of the agency.

When he finally bursts through the doors of the cafe, you smile up at him innocently. “Kunikida, how nice of you to join me down here!” You gesture for him to join you in the booth you’re sitting in. “I guess you finally decided to take a break?”

He huffs, marching over to you. He holds out his hand to you expectantly. “Glasses,” he demands.

You playfully tap your chin in a faux thoughtful manner. “Hmm... no!”

“(Y/N),” he growls warningly. He massages the area between his eyes tiredly. “I can’t do my work without my glasses.”

“Looks like you’ll just have to take a break then!” you cheer, “What good timing for you to lose your glasses. You can join me for a cup of coffee now!” He narrows his eyes at you, silently demanding you return his glasses without any trouble. However, you refuse to break under his stoney stare. You continue to smile at him, waiting for him to sit across from you like you knew he eventually would. After a shortly lived stand off, he begrudgingly joins you in the cozy booth.

“You know I don’t have time for this,” he grumbles. You thank the waitress for your drinks before turning back to him.

“I also know that you’re too stubborn to willingly take a break.” He glares at you, sipping his coffee. However, he fails to hide his sigh at the relaxing warmth of the drink as he relaxes in his seat.

“Not too stubborn. Too busy,” he corrects. You roll your eyes at him, taking a drink from your own cup.

“Then you’re too stubborn to ask for help,” you tease lightly. However, your smile fades as your expression turns serious. “You know, you wouldn’t be this busy if you just asked for anyone to help you out.”

“I don’t need to ask for help. I can handle my workload just fine,” he insists. You sigh, reaching across the table to take his folded hands in yours. A light blush graces his cheeks, and he refuses to meet your eyes.

“I understand that your work is important to you, Kunikida,” you start. He sighs at your words “But you’re important to me, so please take care of yourself.”

He smiles softly, finally meeting your eyes. “Okay. I’m sorry for worrying you.” You smile at him warmly, getting up and rounding the table to cup his face and gently kiss his forehead.

“You stay here a bit longer. I’ll get started on some of those cases you need finished, okay?” He ignores your order and starts to get up to follow you, but you push him back down into his seat. “I won’t give your glasses back until you’ve taken at least a half hour break.”

He grumbles to himself but complies nonetheless. You laugh at his childish pout and decide to swoop down to capture his lips in your own. Lovingly, you stroke his cheek and savor the sweet moment. Slowly, you pull away. “I’ll see you in a bit then. I love you.”

He smiles, cheeks tinted pink at your gentle display of affection. “I love you too.”

[yokelish]

Rhetorical.

This is not easy-peasy-lemon-squizzy. This is difficult-fucking-difficult. 

I hate myself for the person I am because my first reaction was “that’s a drag, I don’t remember much of the manga already”. But then I remembered complex human relationships is nyom-nyom-nyom. And so fell in love with working on it more and more as I went. So here you go, @gogolparadise​

Unfortunately, I am one of those people who doesn’t blame Ango for Oda’s death. My blaming scale looks more like this: Gide, Oda, Mori, everyone else. I blame Oda for Oda’s death, mostly. And there’s no denial about who shot Odasaku in the first place. But Ango isn’t blameless. He done fuck up.

I won’t write how and when Dazai sabotaged the airbag, I am sure even he wouldn’t know it either. P L O T. The scene between Ango and Dazai unfolded differently in manga and anime. And I like manga’s version better. I rarely use Japanese respectful suffixes like “san” and “kun”, but here….it’s sorta important.

✏ Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs ✏ Characters: Dazai Osamu, Ango Sakaguchi  ✏ Word count: 2,166 ✏ Warnings: none? 

Rhetorical.

He couldn’t deny the fact that having a gun in his hand felt distantly pleasant. The power and control that came with the weight in his hand would add more pleasure to it. But the weapon was oddly light compared to his memories of handling one. It wasn’t loaded. A good decision: a smart and safe decision. If Dazai couldn’t trust himself, he could trust in the distrust people have for him. And no one would know that better than someone he once called a friend. The two loyal guard dogs wouldn’t be able to stop him if that’s what he wanted. The resting blade against his neck only sharpened that tiny thrill coursing through his veins. It was bringing up old memories of having his life on the line every other day. The sound of raining shots, the lightning bolt shine of it, the heat of the muzzle afterwards. And the lingering smell of gunpowder. Unloading the gun was the smartest decision his once-friend had ever made. Because Dazai also couldn’t deny the fact that when it was aimed at the back of Ango’s head, it felt invigorating.

“What on earth made you think…” Dazai asked calmly. “…that I had forgiven you?” He didn’t regret asking. The question didn’t need to be answered. There was no need to have a conversation about that part of history. After all, there was too much to forgive, and Dazai didn’t even start on it. But asking had to clearly state where they stand.

“I was the one who cleaned your record when you fled the Mafia. If anything, you are the one who owes me,” Ango replied, unfazed by the threat, and even sounding a little exasperated.

“Alright.” Dazai easily dropped the threat, the aim of the gun, the feeling coursing through his veins. “The gun isn’t loaded. You knew I’d do that.”

A hand was offered to collect the empty weapon. “I am glad you catch on so quickly.” The man in glasses offered a calm, collected smile, with a little amusement traced in the lines of his face. Dazai would roll his eyes at this if the man wasn’t so obviously looking. Credit given where its due, Ango wasn’t slow on the uptake — always deceitfully sharp. But Dazai didn’t appreciate proximity or eye-contact. Least of all he wanted to grow an appreciation for Ango’s quick thinking, stoic and neutral approach, and overall efficiency. He remembered the man from the past too vividly, and separating those images was harder than it should have been. Liar. Traitor.

“If we are not rekindling our old friendship,” Sakaguchi spoke again, more hesitantly this time. “…What do you want?”

How eloquent and bold it was to say that there was something to rekindle between them. When a torch goes out, you look for a fire to light it again. You don’t wet the cloth and chop up the wooden stick. And you sure do not let the torch burn to ashes. If so, there was nothing to rekindle.

With his back to Ango, Dazai allowed himself to smile. The half-masks he knew how to transform and switch seamlessly. His goals were for him to know. Ango would find out soon enough. The bandaged man shifted his smile into a childish grin. “Oooh…” He patted the roof of the car. “You government men drive fine cars, eh?”

The government man graced him with an unamused stare. A sharp look of a man who didn’t want his car touched in such manner. Pity, really, that should be the least of his worries. Government men drive fine cars, but there are many fine cars in this world.

Ex-Mafia rested his elbow on the car if only to gauge a reaction out of the man he once made a mistake to call friend. “Care to go for a drive?” Dazai didn’t regret asking. The question didn’t need to be answered.

Fine cars indeed… For what those government men got those fancy cars Dazai could only guess. “It’s your job to keep those skill-oriented crimes in check, isn’t it? You mustn’t shirk your duty like that.” He spoke leisurely, enjoying, savouring. There was something sickeningly amusing in the ease of the situation. The tension that was visibly lacking in the air. Ango’s safe driving befitting of a good citizen. The calm Dazai couldn’t help but feel. He almost felt guilty about it, too. The calm that comes with the knowledge of what’s to come. And yet, by all canons of the world, it should not be as easy as breathing.

“We have been keeping tabs on the Guild as well,” Ango finally gave a reply fitting for a government man. A limited, careful answer.

Dazai’s interest was piqued by the narrowness of such words. “You knew…and you simply let them be? Do I have that right?” He knew he did. The question didn’t need to be answered. But he didn’t regret asking, he savoured it without guilt.

“Unlike you, Dazai-kun, I believe in an honest day’s work,” Sakaguchi answered evenly, never taking his eyes off the road. “Do you even know what kind of kind of group the Guild is?”

Dazai could guess that this feeling inside him was glee. There was nothing compared to the feeling of knowing and seeing through the deceit of others even if that deceit was a delusion for one’s self. He cared little for the games the government played, he just despised them. He cared not for the power the Guild possessed, he just wanted to beat it.

“Oh my, wait a moment,” the bandaged man said. “This discussion is taking a strange turn.”

“This is politics, Dazai-kun.”

That’s an exceptionally fine carpet word for lies, deception, manipulation, power play and the like. Perhaps, it was a matter of perception, the things one believes in. If perception can stop you from seeing the world upside-down, if it can grant you the vividness of colours and appreciation for abstract, then it surely must be able to install a belief in the greater good.

“…to grant immunity to their members…”

Like Ango believing in an honest day’s work. Or Atsushi believing in his own worthlessness or that saving people will justify his existence. Like Kunikida upholding his ideals stronger than any other man alive.

“…truly, above the law…”

Perhaps, it was all about the installed moral compass within a person. The lines one draws to walk a straight path. Those constructed margins of morality that should never be crossed lest the world changes its meaning or loses it completely. Dazai’s compass had been broken for the longest time, he could admit that much. There were too many bold strokes beyond the margins: crosses, stains, incomprehensible lines made in indifference and irresponsibility.

“…they’re surveilling our little conference even now…”

But, truly, how morally superior is the government handling the bizarre world of skill-users compared to the Mafia? He couldn’t be the one to judge and tell. He couldn’t understand.

“Dazai-kun, start running away. Now.” The urgency in Ango’s voice brought him back to the oncoming reality. Whatever emotions were hidden behind the glasses, Dazai couldn’t press into his memory. The mind was too preoccupied. He pressed back into the seat — a response of his body to the upcoming and unavoidable danger. The thought of dying had never once scared him, but pain, broken bones, and the like — loathed.

“Run, and tell your agents that danger will find them soon —” It didn’t matter what the answer was. There was no need for it.

If there were indeed parallel worlds — an infinite number of possibilities of the current one — then it could be different. In another world, perhaps, it could be different. They could have never met and, thus, never had their past shared. Two perfect strangers to each other — two parallels never meeting. In a different world where the events unfolded differently, where they still met, became friends and met in a bar with, preferably, a similar menu. In a world where he didn’t die, they could remain forever as they were back then. Dazai would feed them his terrible tofu and talks about suicide. They could eat and drink together while sharing nonsensical stories. There would be no guilt or regret. But that would have to be a different world.

In this world, Sakaguchi Ango, a government agent, successfully infiltrated Port Mafia and then Mimic. In this world, Sakaguchi survived in the Mafia and climbed the ranks. In this world, he had successfully pretended to be a friend to Dazai Osamu, youngest Executive in history, and Sakunosuke Oda, the lowest of the ranks. He done so not out of necessity but because he could. In this world, Sakunosuke Oda was dead, killed in confrontation with Mimic. Ango’s betrayal of the Mafia didn’t matter in the least. After all, Dazai had done so too: even he wasn’t such a hypocrite. In this world what mattered was the death of a man who didn’t get to write his novel. In this world, Dazai Osamu wasn’t a better man to forgive. In this world, ex-Mafia held grudges despite knowing the regret of another.

If he were in a different world and was a different human being, he would understand the necessity for the flowers when visiting a hospital. But he wasn’t, and he didn’t really understand it. Nonetheless, he had done it. A man who believes in honest day’s work deserved that much, at least.

“Why, hello there, Ango!” Dazai’s chirpy voice carried through the ward. “How are you doing?” With a bouquet and a basket of consumable goods as visiting protocol dictates. And a bright friendly smile, of course. “Well, you look lovely,” Dazai lied effortlessly, seamlessly. He had done so not out of necessity but because he could. “I have a fine story for you!”

It was in the very same bar where the three of them met that he witnessed it: regret. Sakaguchi Ango, a government agent who infiltrated Port Mafia and climbed the ranks, expressed regret. Perhaps, that alone was the thing that steadied the Executive’s hand. That, and Odasaku’s presence. Unfortunately, there was no more Odasaku to steady the bandaged Executive’s hand. Only the words of a friend now gone to guide this ex-mafioso.

It was much later that Dazai truly saw the guilt behind the round glasses. It’s much easier to recognize guilt in others when experienced. He couldn’t tell if it was cleverly hidden from others or if Ango had hid from himself.

“Thirty-five count murderer?” the bedbound man asked, unsurprised. Dazai was a visitor but he sure wasn’t a good one after eating from the basket. According to him, that’s what he planned. According to everyone else who could be in the room to pass judgement: selfish, inconsiderate, and even mocking. He didn’t do it out of necessity but because he could.

“Murder is murder,” Sakaguchi stated simply. Dazai remained a patient listener despite how easy it would be to probe at wounds unhealed, to uncap the bottled regret, to stir their shared but erased past. He knew full well what murder was. So did Ango. But the thing about murder and death is that it often was accompanied with guilt. And guilt was a disobedient spirit: it didn’t follow you because you murdered, it followed because it could. For all that Ango did, for all the lies and treacherous moves, Dazai knew one thing for sure: in the moment it mattered most he had nothing to offer Odasaku to cling to. In that vital moment all he could offer were pitiful words that wouldn’t even convince a child. If he had to live with the guilt of it, he would.

“…if you seek other help…I’d be glad to do that.”

“Is that so?” Dazai asked, getting up from the chair. That was all he needed to hear. The task was accomplished. “Well, I’ll be back.”

“Dazai-kun.”

That stalled him at the doorway.

“I am accepting your offer of treatment in exchange for support. So just tell me one more thing.” Sakaguchi Ango was deceptively sharp as ever and just as calm. “When we were struck by that mystery vehicle, the airbag on my side alone failed to inflate. Would you happen to know the reason?”

Just as Ango doesn’t put his regret and guilt out on display, Dazai, too, had trick to hide his darkness. If guilt was a disobedient spirit, then darkness was a parasite set on self-destruction.

Oh, he hoped to make his once-friend regret the question. For it would be easy to hide the smile with his back to Ango. It would be equally as easy to switch one smile for another. But there was no need for that. Whatever it was he hid, the other would soon find out. Dazai allowed himself to smile with sincere darkness of his mind and offer it to the man who betrayed him. There was no need for an answer.

[bsd-fitzgerald-appreciation]

BSD Karaoke HC

Imagine all the ADA go to CoKa. How would the night go?

OSAMU DAZAI

Would absolutely be into it!

He’d spend most of the time teasing Atsushi and Kunikida, while simultaneously trying to encourage everyone to have a bit of fun.

He’d be the type to manipulate people into singing specific songs that he’d enjoy or would cause embarrassment, really the most entertainment for him.

He would order alcoholic drinks (such as sake) but not much; he is the classy type. He never would get drunk anyway without a lot.

I can see him singing along to some Bon Jovi , pop rock or even some Katy Perry. You may think he can sing brilliantly, and tells everyone he can sing, but is tone deaf. It is both surprising and expected from everyone.

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMI

Hed either be dying of embarrassment or second hand embarrassment for fellow agency members.

He’d be so wrapped up in the weird shenanigans of his co workers, that when it does cycle to his turn, he doesn’t even realise.

He’d lampshade his own singing. “I’m really not a good singer!” And then proceed to sing at a not too bad a tone. He doesn’t have much confidence, but thanks to everyone, he’ll finally get into the song midway through the first chorus.

If the lounge serves tea on rice, bet your ass he will order. He would most likely stick to juice though.

The orphanage never really played music. So he’d get someone else (likely Junichirou) to pick a song for him. That is unless he recognises a song that was plays on the radio. As long as everyone liked the song, he wouldn’t mind.

DOPPO KUNIKIDA

Dying. Inside. He would just be waiting for the night to end, keeping to his own corner to ignore everyone’s shenanigans with budgets or future cases. He’d bring as much work as he could get through.

Though at some points he may tap a foot to some melodies, he’d restrain himself from joining in the fun. Work was too important.

Eventually he would get roped in, most likely due to Yosano’s determination or Fukuzawa’s encouragement to take a break.

He would only ever order water; someone’s gotta stick to budgets. The agency is spending this money out of its own pocket.

He’d likely end up singing whatever was picked out for him. He’s not wasting mental energy on picking out a song, and (wrongly) trusts his fellow members to pick something good for him..

RANPO EDOGAWA

He would definitely be joining Dazai in the persuasion of other member’s song choices.

Would order every single sweet on the menu. There wouldn’t be a moment in the night where he wasn’t eating some kind of a sweet treat.

Uses sweets to bribe everyone into letting him pick their songs. Then he resorts to blackmail.

Even though he’s just as into the karaoke shtick as Dazai, you’d never find him pick out a song for himself. Everyone in the agency respects him too much to persuade him otherwise, so he’s the only one who gets away Scott free.

AKIKO YOSANO

She’s the most chill person of the night. Though she does partake in a little teasing of other members, she doesn’t full out embarrass them (like Dazai).

She spends most of her night with Ranpo, giving him ideas as to what the song requests should be (in a mostly joking tone), that is until he takes it seriously, though she doesn’t really mind - more amusement for her.

She’d be ordering Saki with Dazai. She wouldn’t give a damn about no budget.

When it’s her turn to sing, everyone knows she SLAYS. I can see her going for the Aggretsuko style screamo, or the opposite end of the spectrum with a bit of old pop.

JUNICHIROU TANIZAKI (+ Naomi)

Junichirou and Naomi are sticking together with glue, and more if our dear Imouto can help it.

Not that Junichirou minds. If they sing a duet together, though he isn’t the best singer, the two together sound like an angel. The weird incest stuff is a small price to pay to avoid humiliation... I guess.

Junichirou is a little concerned about his fellow members and experiences quite the second hand embarrassment, but is discreet with these feelings. Naomi isn’t phased by any antics, always focusing on her big bro.

At the same time, Naomi wants other agents to have fun too.

Shield Kenji and Kyoka’s eyes. Think of the children. Pls.

80s pop duets are there jam. Seasons of Love, that kind of thing. Maybe even some Disney classics with a sprinkle of Musicals.

KENJI MIYAZAWA

There’ll be that jerk making fun of the ADA outside on the way to the vending machines. Kenji is the one to teach him a lesson. A lesson of hugs and kindness! (and maybe a punch)

This is a much deserved rest, so he is going to stuff his face at the lounge (but is wary of Kunikida’s stress over the budget, and is considerate boi).

After he eats, he sleep for almost the entire night, except for moments that he’s eating or singing.

He’s a ray of sunshine. Even if he can’t sing, he gives the aura he can, and everyone will be super supportive. It’s impossible to dislike anything he does after all. Late 2000, early 2010 upbeat songs are what he’d sing.

YUKICHI FUKUZAWA

This man is in charge of making sure everyone is relaxed. Especially if there’s been a really hard mission they’ve just come back from.

He will most likely pay for the entire event from his own pocket. He wants everyone to be okay, and to enjoy themselves to the fullest.

After the night is over, he will see everyone off to make sure they leave safely. The agency members are like children to him (some still are children, and others certainly act the part). It’s also to make sure everyone had as much fun as they could.

He’d definitely sing old Japanese folk songs.

KYÔKA IZUMI

She’d stay with Atsushi, though less bewildered with the antics then him or Junichirou. She’s dealt with the Port Mafia after all (Higuchi, Chuya, Kōyō, Kajii, and the whole gang were all preparation).

She’d be honest with everyone about their singing. If they sing badly, then she’ll tell it straight. Dazai may get a little upset, but recovery is quick. The scene plays like a theatrical play then a simple conversation (the theatrics provided purely by Dazai).

She’d be sipping her tea and eating tofu in the corner. Of course.

This girl is perfect. She’s adorably cute, is polite, can assassin like no man’s business, and has the voice of an angel. Fukuzawa and Ranpo are giving her all of the treats (provided Ranpo resists them in the first place, which is unlikely).

She and Yukichi are in the old folk song gang.

[musicprincess655]

Ryuu’s lungs burn and his heart beats too, too fast in his chest. He’s never been the best runner, and running for his life doesn’t offer the same motivation to him as it does to other people. After all, he’s been running for his life for almost twenty years now.

Gin doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even look at him, but he knows that she knows he can’t keep this up for much longer. No matter how much he wills himself to keep going, his body is going to give out.

Atsushi is keeping pace easily, enough that he can even talk while he runs, and Ryuu hates him for it right now.

“How are we going to escape?” he asks. “We can’t run all the way to the wall.”

No, they can’t. Ryuu and Gin had been hoping they’d have more time to hide out, if their plan to steal a police car didn’t work out. It would take longer to get out of No. 6, and that’s always dangerous, but they wouldn’t attract the kind of attention they would with faster methods.

“There,” Gin says, voice so soft Ryuu isn’t sure Atsushi even hears her, but he reacts when she points. Ryuu nods, ignoring whether Atsushi is on board or not. It’s not a perfect solution, but it sure is a solution.

They’ve gotten close enough to the developed area that there’s a car they can steal.

Well. Car is a generous term. It’s a small truck, probably used by gardeners, but it’ll get the job done.

The door is unlocked, and Gin slides into the driver’s seat while Ryuu and Atsushi run to scramble into the other side. It’s only a two-seater, and Ryuu and Atsushi have to awkwardly perch in the one seat so Gin has the room she needs to drive. The keys aren’t in the ignition, but it takes Ryuu and Gin together less than a minute to get around that. Then they’re off down the road as fast as is reasonable, as fast as will keep them from getting noticed.

And finally, Ryuu can breathe, just a little. He glances over at Atsushi, squished between Ryuu and the door, breathing already recovered. He doesn’t look much different from the last time Ryuu saw him, still unremarkable except for his eyes. They’re somehow both purple and gold, an unusual color that almost looks like sunset.

But more importantly…

“I’m taller now,” Ryuu says. Atsushi blinks those big, stupid doe eyes of his at Ryuu.

“What?”

“I’m taller,” Ryuu repeats. It’s childish and petty, and he knows Gin is rolling her eyes behind him even though he can’t see it. “You made fun of me for being smaller than you last time. Now I’m taller. Aren’t you supposed to be the one with plenty of food? You’re the one inside No. 6.”

“You’re talkative,” Atsushi says.

“I never said I wasn’t,” Ryuu shoots back.

“Why are you back in No. 6?” Atsushi asks, instead of staying on the subject. “And how did you pull this off? Did you know they were going to arrest me?”

Ryuu holds up one of the robots he stashed in his pockets. It’s almost indistinguishable from a real mouse, and that’s what makes it unnoticeable. Only close examination will reveal the tiny whirring sound of its motor.

“We keep an eye on everything in No. 6,” Ryuu says.

What he doesn’t tell Atsushi is that they figured out he was in danger just over six hours ago. It was a tight timetable, and it may or may not have contributed to the plan being less than perfect, but that’s an argument Ryuu isn’t going to lose when they get back, because he’s just not going to have it.

“And you came back to save me?” Atsushi asks.

“I don’t like owing people,” Ryuu says. It’s an understatement. Atsushi doesn’t need to know that, either. “Now we’re even.”

“But why now?” Atsushi asks. “Why would No. 6 go after me now? I’ve been saying stuff like that for years. What changed?”

Ryuu doesn’t answer. He’s not really a big picture kind of guy. Pulling off a plan in less than six hours to rescue an accident-prone idiot that Ryuu just so happens to owe a life debt to? No problem. Postulating on the mentality of an oppressive government? Not really his area.

Gin makes a frustrated noise behind him, and Ryuu finally pays her some attention.

There are cop cars speeding at them, coming from the gate to the outside. It’s a good thing they were never planning on leaving through the gate, anyway.

Gin turns the car sharply, sending Ryuu and Atsushi crashing into the door. Neither of them has a seatbelt on, considering they only have the one and it won’t stretch over them both. And unfortunately, this seems to be the part where they really should have a seatbelt on.

“The sewage facility?” Atsushi asks, realizing a few beats late what the plan is. “We can’t get through the gate without an ID.”

“You have no imagination,” Ryuu tells him, bracing his arms against the dashboard. This is probably going to hurt.

Gin slams the car through the gate, and while the engine makes some very unhappy noises, it keeps running, so she steers them into the facility.

“They’re going into lockdown, we won’t make it,” Atsushi warns. A metal grate is dropping in front of all the windows and doors. Gin guns it.

“Get down,” Ryuu growls, forcing Atsushi’s head down below the dashboard. It’s not the best protection, but when sliding under the grate takes off the top of the car, it also doesn’t take off their heads.

The car is toast, though, and rightly so. Ryuu stands from the wreckage of broken glass and twisted metal, ears only ringing a little. They’re very nearly home free.

“This way,” he says. Gin follows him, silent as a shadow, and Atsushi follows much less so.

“The sewers?” Atsushi asks.

“A perfect backdoor for people like us,” Ryuu says. Luckily, there’s enough of a lip on the side that they can still run. They don’t have to swim through this water.

Alarms blare, and Ryuu can hear people descending into the facility, but as long as Atsushi doesn’t slow them down, they shouldn’t have a problem escaping.

Ryuu and Gin could find their way through these tunnels in the dark with their eyes closed, and sometimes they have to. As far as smuggling goes, sewage tunnels are essential. Ryuu has spent so much time travelling through them that he knows them like the back of his hand.

Atsushi is doing less well. He keeps blinking his eyes, like he’s trying to force them to adjust to the darkness, and even though he would probably be faster than Ryuu if they ran on the surface, he’s not nearly as fast down here.

“Keep up,” Ryuu instructs harshly. “We’re not even halfway there yet.”

The sewers might be the safer path into No. 6, but they’re certainly not the fastest. It’s a long route that involves backtracking and mazes, turns that take them around where on the surface they could just go straight.

It’s more of a relief than usual when they haul themselves out of the sewers, up into the dying light of the day. They’re outside the wall, and that makes them safe, or as safe as anyone can be in a world like this.

Atsushi sprawls out on the ground, the sunlight slanting across his face to match his eyes. Ryuu leaves him to it for just a moment, but staying out in the open isn’t the safest thing they could be doing.

“This is the West Block,” Ryuu says. Atsushi’s eyes blink all the way open, and he stands to look around. His eyes widen at the warren of shacks that make up this slum. “Welcome to reality. Good luck in it.”

“What?” Atsushi’s eyes are still wide, but fear has suddenly crept into them, and Ryuu hates him for it. That fear he holds inside is so obvious, and it’s like he’s begging to be killed.

He won’t last a week out here, but that’s not actually Ryuu’s problem.

“I’d say stay out of trouble, but I don’t think you actually know how to do that,” Ryuu says. “So have a nice life, whatever’s left of it.”

“You’re just leaving me here?”

“You saved my life, I saved yours,” Ryuu says. “Transaction complete. We’re done here.”

“No, wait-”

“Making new friends now?”

Ryuu closes his eyes and only just barely keeps from screaming in frustration. The absolute last person he wanted to run into right now.

Dazai surveys them coolly, no emotion other than amusement leaking through. Chuuya sits on the wall behind him, leaning back on his hands casually.

“What are you two doing here?” Ryuu growls.

“You and Gin left so quickly, and I was curious,” Dazai says. “You usually plan so carefully when you go into No. 6. I wanted to see what was worth the risk.”

Of course Ryuu couldn’t hide this from Dazai entirely. Dazai knows Atsushi exists, and knows that Ryuu wants to square things with him, knows how badly Ryuu hates owing anyone. Not that Ryuu’s actually told him any of this. Dazai just knows things.

“Just tell them you were worried about them,” Chuuya growls. Ryuu believes that Dazai worried about Gin, but he probably would’ve been thrilled if Ryuu hadn’t come back. “Shitty Dazai.”

“Dazai?” Atsushi pipes up. “As in Dazai Osamu?”

Ryuu wonders if Atsushi realizes the danger he just walked into. If he can see the way Dazai’s face changes, morphs from simple amusement to something much colder. It’s not an easy shift to spot, but Ryuu’s had six years to learn Dazai’s moods, and six years to fear the darker changes.

“Who’s asking?” Dazai asks. His voice is light, airy, and a lesser man wouldn’t notice a difference. Ryuu might not have to wait for the West Block to kill Atsushi. Dazai might right now, if Atsushi can’t explain himself.

“My dad has a file on you,” Atsushi says. “He never let me look at it, but that’s the name on it. Dazai Osamu. A suicide victim.”

Dazai’s mind works faster than anyone else’s, which means he gets to his conclusions before Ryuu realizes the train wreck that is coming to destroy his life.  

“You’re Fukuzawa’s kid?” Dazai asks. “Adopted, I’m guessing, since I would’ve known about you back then.”

“Yeah, that’s…you know my dad?” Atsushi asks. Damn it all. Ryuu will never be rid of him now.

“He used to let me hang around the detective agency,” Dazai says. “Gave me a place to hide from my guardian.”

“Then you…you weren’t a suicide victim,” Atsushi says. Ryuu can practically see him putting the pieces together. “That was faked. Because…you did something, and No. 6 came after you.”

“And he’s clever,” Dazai says, approval obvious in his voice. Ryuu bristles. He works so hard for the slightest glimpse of Dazai’s approval, and Atsushi gets it just for showing up?

“It makes more sense that you’re alive,” Atsushi says. “I think he always wondered, you know? He’d always pull that file out when he had a rough day. Or when he had to deal with Mori-san. Which I guess made it a rough day.”

“Ah, so you’re acquainted with my guardian,” Dazai says, voice gone cold. Ryuu just barely fights down a snarl. Of course they’re already getting along like a house on fire. That’s not fair, but Atsushi has already proven himself luckier than Ryuu, not that he appreciates it at all.

“Guardian?”

“Yeah, he’s…” Dazai trails off, apparently lost for words to describe Mori.

“He did a less than stellar fucking job of instilling a moral compass in Dazai,” Chuuya gripes in the interim.

“Slugs should be seen and not heard,” Dazai singsongs at him.

“Mackerels should be fried and eaten,” Chuuya shoots back, kicking Dazai’s shoulder so hard he stumbles. Chuuya jumps down from his perch on the wall. The dents his feet make don’t seem to line up with his size, but Ryuu is used to that by now. “Let’s take this inside. If you’re keeping that kid, we should get him out of the open for now.”

Ryuu tries desperately to signal to Chuuya no, please don’t because if they bring Atsushi inside, he really will be here for good, and the only thing Ryuu will be able to do is kill Atsushi himself.

“Oh, we’re keeping him,” Dazai says. “I can’t wait to hear how Fukuzawa’s kid ended up out here.”

“Come on, let’s get inside,” Chuuya says. “Ryuu, where’s your sister?”

Ryuu looks around for Gin, but she’s nowhere to be found. She’s probably already inside, though. Ryuu did wake her up to go save Atsushi, and she needs the sleep now.

“Sister?” Atsushi asks. “You have a sister?”

“Yes,” Ryuu grits out. “Make sure you thank her later. She did help save your life. You owe her one.”

“But the only ones that saved me were you and Gin,” Atsushi says. Ryuu tries to count backwards from one hundred, just to see if that will help. It doesn’t. But he has to keep it together in front of Dazai, especially now that Atsushi is Dazai’s new favorite. “Unless…wait, Gin is a girl?”

And that’s it. It doesn’t matter how much Dazai wants to keep Atsushi around. Ryuu is going to end up killing Atsushi himself.

[leonawriter]

In Summary

Also on AO3

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Characters | Pairings: Dazai/Chuuya

Warnings: SPOILERS for the current arc. Story was inspired by ch.75, and fandom response, and is set in a hypothetical post-arc timeframe.

Summary: Chuuya comes up to Dazai in the party, not so much seeking answers as some sort of reassurance. In a sense, he gets at the same time both, and neither.

...

There was no big party, this time. Instead, it was an informal gathering, clinging to each other to remind themselves that they were still alive.

Dazai had been content to stay somewhere near the middle, taking in the voices and the sight of everyone he had been apart from for what felt like so long, to feel the touch of other people even just brushing against him.

It was destined not to last. He knew that. 

Fyodor wasn’t dead yet. His superiors were still out there. As long as the Book existed, there would be those who would seek to misuse it. To use it, at all.

A hand rests on his shoulder, and he tenses, just for a moment, before releasing a breath and letting himself relax.

“Chuuya.”

“Do you... mind? I need to talk to you for a minute.”

He gets up, stretches, and waves over at Atsushi, so that the boy won’t think he’s just gone missing again.

Chuuya doesn’t stop until they’re far enough away in an alcove that the noise is less loud, and it’s less likely anyone is going to overhear them.

When Chuuya doesn’t speak, hesitation causing a long silence, he could have teased, could have suggested that if Chuuya just wanted to have some alone time with him, then all he had to do was ask - but he doesn't.

Instead, he just waits.

“Look,” Chuuya says at last, “Boss told me and Kouyou about Sigma. Said that as the only other two executives, we had a right to know. About who - and what - he is." He could have said anything to that, too, but Dazai just kept waiting. He has a feeling he knows what Chuuya's getting at, after all. "It's just - it made me think. Because... that guy and I have more in common than I'd like. A lot more. And i just- Dazai, what if..." Chuuya's hands are clenched at his sides, his face taut with some emotion that is somewhere between fear and anxiety. "What if that's... me, Dazai? What if I was made out of the Book just like he was? Some perfect vessel or shit like that."

Dazai hummed.

"That's an interesting theory. Certainly not one worth dismissing out of hand."

"You're supposed to encourage me, asshole! Tell me something like how it's a stupid idea, or that-"

He catches Chuuya's wrist before the fist can bury itself in the wall.

"Now, now. There's no need for any of that."

"The hell with no need, I just want- and if you think saying that you can touch me is enough to make me feel better, you bastard-"

"Not at all. The Book is, after all, unaffected by any and all abilities. That would, naturally, include mine. If you were created by the Book, then there would be no change in that. But, I have to say..."

"What?"

"I have to admit, I am almost tempted to wish that what you're saying is true."

Chuuya's eyes widen, and for a moment Dazai wishes he hadn't said that, because of the betrayal on his partner's face, and the way that he tries to back away. His grip on Chuuya's arm stops him from going too far, however, because he isn't finished yet.

"You're-"

"Because... you're right, of course. There are more than a few similarities between you and Sigma. Both of you essentially came out of nowhere. Both of you have no memories for one reason or another, from before that point. Both of you, if this idea of yours is true, were used by people for your abilities." Chuuya, of course, hardly appreciated any of this, and Dazai hardly appreciated the way that someone so strong was deflating in front of him. "And yet," he continued, voice softer, "there is one reason why I am tempted to want this, quite badly."

He closed his eyes, let out a breath. Opened them again just to look over at the small gathering, for a single face. Sigma seemed to be adjusting well enough, and the Port Mafia wouldn't even be such a bad fit for him. Dazai sighed, and looked back at Chuuya, who was studying his face. Searching for the reason he had yet to give out.

"Once, and we could pass it off as a fluke. Sigma's personality and history is his own, after all, no matter how he came to exist. And yet... twice, and there begins to be a pattern. Don't you see? Something else that both of you have in common. The desire to protect those close to you, even to a fault."

"...I don't see why or how that's so important, Dazai."

"Oh, but it's the most important thing of all. Because all books have a theme, a sense of tone... if the Book created all sorts of characters, then there would be no pattern to discern anything from. There would be nothing to work from. But if Sigma - and you, if this is true - are establishing a pattern, then - it suggests something. It suggests very much that the Book that holds so much power over our world, is one that cares."

Chuuya looked away. As far as Dazai could tell, not at anything in particular. 

"Books don't think or feel, you bandaged idiot."

"Perhaps not. But the author always writes with a certain intent. Is this story one where everyone survives? Is this a story where the entire world is heading to a steady decline? Do people choose to help one another out, or do they lose faith in one another? Perhaps... ours is a Book in which people merely desire one thing, which is to be acknowledged by anther person. Perhaps it is no more or less than that. And... I, for one, would not be unhappy with such a world."

Chuuya closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall, as if it was all that could hold him upright, and Dazai lets go, his grip having loosened so much that he barely needs to move, and already feels the loss of contact as soon as he's done so.

"You've... got a really weird way of looking at things. I'll say that much."

"If you came for reassurance, I..."

"No, no... ugh, damn it. That - that actually... helped, okay?" Dazai blinked. "Thanks... I guess."

"Do you want to go back now?"

There's a slight pause. A hesitation. 

"Just... give me a minute, okay? I... we can head back in a minute."

We. The word releases a little more of the tension that had built up inside of him, the uncertainty.

Dazai nods, and moves so that he's leaning against the wall as well, and if his arm is brushing up against Chuuya's, if the fact that he isn't pushed away eases some more of the tense discomfort out of his system, then that's only for the two of them to know.

...

AN: I've seen so many people suggest the same thing - that Chuuya is a product of the Book - since ch. 75 came out, that after actually reading the full translated thing, I just... sure, have a field day with the angst, but BSD is hopepunk. Just like Dazai says here. And I won't believe it's all going to end in despair until I see it happen.

[imaginetho]

Fluff scenario for ada Dazai pls *^*

1 fluff scenario for ada!dazai coming right up! ^o^

some very familiar people may or may not make an appearance at some point because why the heck not

“Please, I won’t forget anything again, just this time bring me my wallet. I really need it!” Dazai pleaded through the phone. 

“Ugh, fine. I can’t believe it’s my day off work and you’re still gonna make me go there.” You sighed then hung up.

This wasn’t the first time your boyfriend forgets something nor will it be the last and no one knows that better than you. You were really excited to stay home all day, but oh well.

“Okay, Listen up you buffoons! She’ll be here in a bit so make sure everything is perfect!” Dazai beamed.

Some grunting noise and fists clenching can be heard and seen from the background. 

“DON’T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HELP A LITTLE? IT’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S BIRTHDAY AND YOU’RE MAKING US DO EVERYTHING?” Kunikida’s yelling reached everyones eardrum.

“Excuse me, I am keeping an eye while you do everything and making sure it’s perfect. Isn’t that more than enough?” he said.

Kunikida’s veins looked like they were about to pop out of his forehead at any moment. Grabbing the closest thing to him he was quick to throw it right at Dazai’s head. 

Dazai already knew he was bad at this stuff which was why he felt lucky to have everyone help him prepare everything. It was really great that the two of you worked together, which meant not only was everyone your coworker, but your friend too.

Of course Dazai wasn’t the only one who saw just how amazing you are, everyone at the Ada adored you. Everyone was gathered here today waiting for none other than you.

Dazai was not in such a good mood today for nothing. Today was your birthday, and as much as he hates celebrating his, he loves nothing more than celebrating his loved ones’.

Especially you, his one and only. The one who loves him for who he is, even with knowing all the terrible things he’ve done before, and even with knowing how hard of a person he can be at times, you still sticked around.

Sure, he was really forgetful at times, but not today. He just wanted you to think he forgot his wallet when really that was his genius way of getting you to come here without ruining the surprise.

He also knew that as forgetful as he was, you weren’t any better. You didn’t even remember your own birthday. You were ready to stay home all day and he was not gonna allow that.

Not when he loves you so much and wants to celebrate the day you blessed this world with your existence. 

He never thought he’d ever feel that way about someone, let alone think that in his mind, but then again, you changed him in a lot of ways. Including having cheesy thoughts and saying cheesy things.

You made what used to be a really shitty world to him, seem a little less shitty. By loving him and being with him. That’s something he’ll always appreciate, and find you extraordinary for.

He never thought he could be happy with someone, never thought he’d find someone to love and have them love him back, but you came along and proved him wrong. 

“She’s here!” Atsushi yelled, as he was in charge of keeping watch to see when you’d arrive.

Everyone quickly stood in place holding their party crackers. 

You walked in the building, muttering a few swear words under your breath, still pissed at the fact that you had to come here on your day off. 

As you climbed the stairs, your footsteps grew faster, wanting to quickly give your boyfriend a piece of your mind before giving him his wallet back.

You finally reached to the door, and without realizing how fast you were actually going, you ended up opening the door a little too vigorously.

You were just about to yell at Dazai when everyone screamed and a lot of confetti started dropping everywhere.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY ____!” everyone yelled.

You’d forgotten it was your birthday today.

The office looked different. It was more colorful, there were decorations everywhere, balloons everywhere, an entire table full of gifts, and a huge sign hung right in front of you. It said happy birthday. 

“Oh my god, you guys….. did… all of this… for me?” you sniffled.

Dazai walked closer to you, smiling so genuinely and so charmingly that you couldn’t help but admire his smile. He put a hand on your back and planted a kiss on your cheek.

“Happy birthday my love, thank you for making my life better.” he whispered into your ear right before he went to get the cake. 

Suddenly all the anger and frustration you were ready to let out turned into utter bliss. You were ready not to only give him his wallet back, but your soul and heart too, literally.

[goddamnitdazai]

A small opinion about all the ‘Dazai ex machina’ posts I’ve been seeing. This is by no means meant to disregard/correct anyone’s like or dislike of a character or chapter(s). Y’all feel how you feel and that’s chill, but there’s a few things that I’d like to point out in defense of Dazai’s character and the way this arc wrapped up. This may not be the most eloquent post because I tend to shit out these metas the minute I start thinking about it also I’ve had a lot of coffee to counter the no sleep. I too was disappointed at first in the way this arc ended. It ended too quickly, too easily, and I was slightly confused on how Mori and Fukuzawa were up and ready to fight when they were basically decomposing in their beds in the previous chapter. Looking back on it after the initial shock I realized that was probably the point. A lot of people have been criticizing the writing and saying that it’s lazy or anticlimactic, but look at the way the guild arc ended. That was the practical opposite of this ending, and this ending was so obviously easy that it seemed purposeful. Fyodor may have been surprised to be found, or may have had a Plan B, or maybe it was his plan all along. We don’t know yet, but I’m leaning towards the latter two. If the ending was meant to be short and sweet, it would not have been so abrupt. We’ve seen it end dramatically with Moby Dick so the talent is there. Just don’t count Fyodor out yet, it’d be like assuming Dazai would get caught and whisked away like “oh no ya caught me time for jail”. That’s not how he rolls, and Fyodor has already been compared to Dazai. Let’s be real Fyodor would not walk away so easily. Regardless of this being the original plan or a plan B Fyodor is not even close to being finished. Now, the subject of Dazai being this god like all knowing persona is understandable but kind of a simple assumption at the same time. We watched Dazai and Ranpo work together in the first season with ‘Murder on D Street’ where Ranpo deadass knew the last words of a dead woman he had never met, but that’s Ranpo and he’s that smart right? We know it’s not an ability he’s just smart as hell and even Dazai admits he has no idea how Ranpo figured anything else out. But, Dazai explains to Atsushi how he figured out the few details he managed to catch, yet there’s nothing bashing Ranpo for his intelligence. I understand that Dazai is always portrayed as the one with the plan, and that knows everything but that is his role in the agency. He doesn’t have a combat ability and he’s not very good at physical fighting. What does he have to offer then? His intelligence. His knowledge of the Mafia’s inner workings is helpful sure, but they aren’t always fighting the mafia. The ADA doesn’t exist solely to fight against the Port Mafia--they’re detectives. Dazai and Ranpo are the strategists of the ADA, but Ranpo is a side character thus his amplified intelligence is not over-used. Going back to the Guild Arc Ranpo was the one who planned the ending, figured out where Moby Dick would land and helped Dazai set up the ending with the smoke screen and everything else. Dazai didn’t plop down and within five minutes figure out how to take them down--he needed Ranpo’s help. There’s a moment in the manga where Dazai makes a guess at the ending--he mentions the mountains, and Ranpo corrects him--yes it’s a minuscule part but it shows a sliver of Dazai’s intelligence being beneath Ranpo’s. We also see Dazai reaching out to Ranpo during the Azure Messenger episode to figure out where the bomb is going to be. Dazai knows when he needs help and isn’t afraid to reach for it, but because there have been chapters upon chapters of Dazai being the strategist vs Ranpo these things tend to be forgotten. We also don’t know how these plans come to fruition--if Ranpo and Dazai planned together to bring down Moby Dick how do we know this doesn’t happen with each major plan that’s been laid out? I get it though, Dazai is a main character and his ties to Akutagawa and Atsushi drive the parallels centering around the story so yes, I get why it can get exhausting watching him solve everything. But, we don’t know if he actually figures everything out before hand or if he just shits out side plans based on the information given and goes from there. We don’t know how he thinks--and that’s part of his character. We get small glimpses of him (more than once) looking dejected when no eyes are on him, and that smidgen of emotion is all we are getting (for now). Until we know that he literally knows everything everyone is going to do before they even think it themselves, assuming Dazai is the master puppeteer in the universe is a bit unfair. We also need to remember that Dazai had this logistic mind set drilled into him for 8 (possibly more) years vs his two and a half (?) years out on his own. For a vast change of mindset that’s not much of a time lapse.  I can’t lie and say I wouldn’t like to see Dazai legitimately screw up again but right now isn’t the time for his character development. If he suddenly starts realizing “maybe I shouldn’t be a manipulative shithead all the time” its going to take away from the beautiful development of Akutagawa and Atsushi. This whole arc centered around them (again) just as The Guild arc did because they are the main parallels. If Dazai’s character starts getting the development he needs it would be better to mold it realistically rather than it happen out of nowhere. So I get it, I really do, but Dazai is still not a perfect god like character. We watched him devastatingly fuck up and not realize Mori’s plan in the Dark Era that resulted in Odasaku’s death. Odasaku is clearly a huge influence on Dazai, and there is a possibility this massive guilt could be the reason he’s more meticulous. In the Port Mafia he was more reckless, and that seems to have changed with the way he goes about executing plans. Now, he is not exactly good either. He doesn’t include people in plans, he manipulates, and he uses his perceptiveness to get what he wants. That’s not how he should roll, but that’s what stops him from being a very generic trope. I can understand how people feel his perceptiveness can be overbearing, but there have been snippets of him not always being on top of his game.  I would love to see some serious character development for him and he needs to be tripped up, and I’m hoping that Fyodor is the character to do that. But for now we just have to wait and see if the writers take the right direction.

[verdelet]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: Gen, M/M Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Fix-it fic, Shippy but it can be friendship if you close one eye, Oda survives, Dazai shows up in time, Oda Needs A Hug, Dazai Needs A Hug, Comfort No Hurt, Kunikida Doppo (Brief), Atsushi Nakajima (Brief)

Language:English Series: Part 1 of the Another World, Another Story series Published: 2016-11-10 Completed: 2016-12-26 Words: 5163 Chapters: 4/4

Summary: Oda knows he's going to die. That's fine though, because it hurts and he can't risk losing more.

It's perfect, like the end of a performance. Both actors down to the last gun, the last magazine, the last bullet. Harmonious, as though they'd rehearsed this a million times. Synchronised, face-to-face, muzzle-to-chest. Trigger fingers tensing-  "Odasaku!"

Chapter 1: History Retold

It's perfect, like the end of a performance. Both actors down to the last gun, the last magazine, the last bullet. Harmonious, as though they'd rehearsed this a million times. Synchronised, face-to-face, muzzle-to-chest. Trigger fingers tensing-

"Odasaku!"

Gide jerks back, falling to a crouch. The wall cracks as a bullet pierces through the plaster. His arm snaps to the side-

"No," Oda thinks, Ability translating thought to future to vision. A split second shift, what-will-be becoming what-could-have-been. Only a second, only one second, and it's enough for Gide to swing his arm back to Oda-

Twin shots fire. Pain, red hot and burning, sears his flesh.

"... Absolutely perfect, Sakunosuke," Gide rasps, his smile bloody and serene.

The ever-shifting visions, the conversation that could have been, severs. The words Gide never said echo in the silence, loud in the stillness.

Gide falls to the side, blood spreading on his cloak. The world does an extremely unhelpful spin. Oda barely registers the shock of his knees hitting cracked marble. Too focused on the searing pain in his side, clawing at torn nerves and flesh, breath lodging in his throat-

"Odasaku, you absolute idiot," someone curses at him.

"Dazai," the name tears itself from his lips, and in the haze, he realises that he's alive. He's alive.

"You idiot," Dazai snaps back, as though Oda hadn't heard him the first time. "You nearly- It's gone right through- Why on earth are you smiling??"

Funny, he doesn't think he's ever heard Dazai sound so hassled before.

Dazai shrugs off his coat, folding it messily and pressing it against the bullet holes. The pain stabs into him with a vengeance and forces a grunt out of him, cutting right through the high. His hand fumbles, holding Dazai's coat in place. The other arm gets over the back of Dazai's shoulders, pulling his weight against his friend's side.

"Odabaka," Dazai hisses, hands fisting in Oda's shirt and squeezing hard around his wrist.

"Y-Yeah..." he manages, struggling to keep his feet under him as he's pulled up. Black flickers at the edges of his vision, the floor shifting under him even though he hasn't moved an inch.

"Don't you dare, Odasaku," Dazai growls, and the first step is almost too much to handle. He's had worse though, so he steels himself. Forcing his feet forwards against their will.

"Yessir," he grits out. At any other time, Dazai would tease him for the title. At any other time, Oda would crack a smile. As it is, it's all he can do to hold onto consciousness. He's bruised and more than a little broken, ribs aching in a way that suggests cracks. Bullet grazes sting worse as adrenaline gives way to fatigue.

Even with Dazai's help, the trek to the entrance is a slow process. A silver van pulls up at the entrance of the mansion, barely decent enough to not scream "mafia". The suits and conspicuous guns in the van most definitely scream "mafia". Oda lets them drag him in anyway. He's aware of Dazai right behind him, a familiar presence close to his shoulder.

Blood loss and shock drags him under even before he hits the leather seats.

"... -impressive, indeed. How many men were there?" Who...?

"Close to thirty, not including the leader. Most of them had been shot, but one of the rooms showed signs of an explosion, likely caused by grenades." Da... zai...?

"Ngh..." Whatever he'd been trying to say slurs into a single sound, his lips gummed together by sleep. It's hard to open his eyes, his head full of cotton and coiling haze. The ceiling swims into focus, white and painful. Hospital...?

"Odasaku." Dazai's voice calls his name, and Oda tilts his head to the side. Dazai's next to him, perched on the visitor's chair with crossed arms.

"Dazai..." His throat feels like absolute shit, and his voice sounds it, dry and rasping. Someone steps forwards, and he blinks a few times just to make sure he's actually awake. "Boss...?"

"Good morning, Oda-kun." Ougai smiles that 'you're not going to die yet' smile, which is a good sign he supposes. "How are you feeling?"

"... Not in pain," he answers after a moment. Which is true, and surprising for some reason.

"That would be the morphine," Dazai informs him, and Oda notes that yes, Dazai is still pissed at him. He wonders when that had become less terrifying and more worrying.

"You did well in subduing Mimic, Oda-kun," Ougai praises, but Oda is noting the way Dazai holds himself still. "It's somewhat unorthodox, but I believe that you could receive quite a promotion for your achievement."

"Thank you, Boss..." His head feels too fuzzy to fully process the words. His tongue feels stupidly heavy even as his brain cells work overtime to unscramble themselves. The morphine isn't helping in the least. "I... I'll take it into consideration."

"That's all I ask for, Oda-kun," Ougai murmured. Oda decides that mentioning Ougai had also asked him to investigate a certain triple agent is a possible bad idea, and keeps quiet instead. "I have to be off now, but do give me your response soon."

And just like that, the leader of Port Mafia sweeps out of his room, leaving an uncomfortable silence in his wake. Oda stares at the door for a while, then looks up at the corner of the ceiling. He turns his attention to the bedside table, and what he can see of it without lifting his head. His guns are there, which means Mimic's hideout had been cleared completely while he'd been unconscious.

Dazai still hasn't moved. Oda finally looks at him, but all that's visible is his hair and the ever-present bandages around Dazai's head.

"I know I'm an idiot." If it had been possible, Oda would have sagged into the pillows he's laying on. Dazai doesn't so much as twitch, but Dazai's trained not to twitch anyway.

"If I had been even a second late, Oda," Dazai says quietly, and it's the proper use of his name that clues him in to how shaken his friend is.

"Yeah..." His side doesn't ache, but his arms feel like limp noodles- all efforts to move them go to waste. "Thank you, Dazai."

"Do you really think that that's enough?" Dazai still isn't looking at him. It's a terrible time for Oda to not be able to move, all in all.

"No. Feel free to cuff me to the bed so I don't anything else that's stupid." As far as jokes go, it's terrible and somewhere around half-sincere. Dazai huffs, a laugh and a snort rolled into one. A small victory, at the very least, maybe worth a third of a point.

"Why did you go alone?" The rawness in Dazai's voice takes Oda by surprise. He turns barely in his chair, gaze is locked somewhere around Oda's knees, fingers curled into the faintly rumpled material of his pants. Distantly, Oda wonders whether he'd gotten any sleep or eaten a decent meal in the last twenty four hours.

"I couldn't risk waiting." It'd be easier to look up at the ceiling, fluorescent lights bright and glaring. Let it never be said he takes the easy way though, because he's straining to catch a better glimpse of Dazai's face. "I couldn't risk Gide sending another invitation."

It's strange. He remembers all too clearly, the freezing anger in his veins when he'd killed Gide's men. Yet in that timeless world where their Abilities had met, anger had turned to understanding. Not forgiveness, never forgiveness, but the hate had lost its razor sharp edge.

"But alone...?" Dazai tips his head forwards, expression is hidden behind the fall of his hair. The question is clear though, behind the hurt that laces each word.

"I couldn't risk you." With the kids gone, he only has one person left in this world. Given a chance to change things, he knows he wouldn't have decided any differently. "Dazai, you're a genius, but I couldn't risk you. I can't when you're..."

Maybe it's the morphine, but he doesn't think he's ever felt so open before. Dazai draws in a sharp breath, head tilting in his direction. It's still not enough for Oda to see the face Dazai makes, but it's still enough. Dazai knows.

"... And what do you think you are to me, Odasaku?" There's an edge there, something close enough to a challenge that Oda takes his time assessing his response. His thoughts drift to the arms holding him up, the voice by his ear cursing at him and keeping him conscious at the same time. The same voice that had nearly broken down the middle of his name when they'd stood in front of the kids' pyre.

"I didn't know at first," he breathes at last. "I never wanted to assume..." It's a struggle to free his arm from the blanket. He must have been out for at least four days to be this weak... Still, he manages to leave his arm lying on top of the blanket, palm up in offering.

"You... really need to work on your self-worth, Odasaku," Dazai whispers back, but he's reaching out to hold Oda's hand. His palm is warm against Oda's, their fingers lacing together.

"Ahah... I might need some help with that, if you don't mind..." He hasn't been awake for half an hour, but he's already feeling tired again. Dazai squeezes his hand, an answer and an assurance, and Oda doesn't fight the smile that curls the corners of his lips.

He doesn't let go of Dazai's hand, but Dazai doesn't let go of his either.

Chapter 2: A Brighter Future

The days pass slowly. There's a routine, now that Oda is conscious. A nurse comes in every morning at eight to change the bandages with fresh ones. Dazai usually chooses to saunter in during this time, taking his usual seat by the bed and watching the nurse too closely for her comfort.

"We match now," he'd told Dazai once, gesturing at the white stretched around his middle and the square patch on his cheek. Dazai had insisted that Oda simply could not pull off the 'beautiful while injured' look, and neither of them comment on the obviously feigned disinterest of the nurse.

After that, he's given breakfast and he prods Dazai into eating half of it.

"I wouldn't make you if you actually ate proper meals," Oda points out, and Dazai eats the other half of Oda's pudding cup too in retaliation. Oda doesn't stop him.

Dazai leaves after that to sort out whatever dirty deeds the mafia has lined up for him, and Oda is left alone.

He has books at least, novels Dazai had brought over from Oda's place. He doesn't recall ever handing his keys to Dazai, but things like locked doors have never stopped Dazai before. There's a few from what he thinks is Dazai's own collection, and he finds a strange sort of amusement from No Longer Human. The cover of the novel is worn, the pages curled slightly at the corners, and he wonders how often Dazai had thumbed through these pages. He pictures slim fingers turning the pages, the quiet focus of dark brown as they take in printed words, and it's an image he finds he doesn't want to let go of.

Natsume Souseki's novels are there too, Oda recognises them as his own copies by the broken spines and the old coffee stain on one of the covers. He's certain that, if tested, he would be able to recite each volume, line by line. They're ingrained into his memory, countless hours trying to understand each character to picture some sort of appropriate resolution lending him a near-perfect knowledge of the script. Still, they welcome him like an old friend when he turns the pages, and he thinks of the old metal chair and the patter of rain against the window close to his ear. The hospital bed is too far away, and the weather forecast predicts only sunshine for the rest of the week, but it's peaceful nonetheless.

By the fourth day since he woke up, he reaches the last volume again. Once again, the novel ends too soon, and once again Oda traces the last line with a finger, as though the ink may whisper its secrets against his skin. It's different this time, he notes. Not the words, but his perception of them. An incomplete end. Of course, for those alive would only know what they experienced up to their present. For those still alive, there is no end. Not yet. Not for a while.

"'Humans live to save themselves. They know this when they die.'" His voice is the only one in the room, but he wonders if it will reach the old man who had taught a child hitman to live. "Thank you."

To write novels is to write about humans. To control how they live, and how they die.

He doesn't think he's ready to put pen to paper yet, but that doesn't mean there aren't other ways of writing.

He's awake when Dazai slips in the next morning. The nurse comes in a few minutes later, and they sit in silence until she leaves again, breakfast set out on table.

"Odasaku, what are you thinking?" Dazai asks once the door has clicked shut, and Oda doesn't even try to feign innocence. Instead, he shifts to the side so Dazai can sit next to him, perched on the edge of the bed.

"I want to leave." That's not all though, and he holds up a hand before Dazai can respond. "Working with the mafia... isn't something I can keep doing. Dazai, I want you to come with me."

Upon hindsight, Oda thinks he could have counted the number of times he's seen Dazai speechless even if both his hands had been cut off. Now though, there's no mistaking the way Dazai stares at him, mouth slightly open.

"You said it before..." Somehow, he doesn't feel worried at all. Maybe it's almost dying, maybe it's the time he's spent reflecting, but he feels ready. Certain in a way he hasn't before. "That you want to find a reason to live. That stepping close to the core of human nature might fill that hole in yourself."

"I did... but what-" Dazai stops when Oda cups the side of his head. Their eyes meet, and Oda refuses to look away.

"It's not here, Dazai," he says as gently as he knows how, and watches the way Dazai's eyes widen. "That hole you have in yourself can't be filled by anything in this world. Nothing will ever truly meet your expectations and if you stay here, you'll be trapped in the darkness forever."

"Odasaku... what..." Dazai trails off, thrown so far off-track it's obvious even to Oda. He stills, not even breathing for a worryingly long moment. Then his breath stutters out, hand coming up to rest over Oda's almost subconsciously, and Oda is reminded of how painfully lost Dazai likes to pretend he isn't. "How do you... know that...?"

"I'm your friend, aren't I?" He smiles. It feels so strange, the knowledge that he can consider himself as such. A gift he can only repay by proving himself over and over. It's a payment he doesn't think he'll ever mind. "Of course I know."

For the first time, Dazai looks away. Oda can read the doubt there, a child stumbling in the dark for so long that any light would burn him. But even the burns would be a mark of hope, he thinks. Once the shadows have fallen apart to let the child create his own light.

"You want me to come with you?" Dazai is quiet, more uncertain that Oda's ever heard before.

"Saving or killing people... You don't feel a thing either way." Dazai's looking at him as though seeing him for the first time, and Oda hurts thinking about how lonely his partner has been. I'm sorry I've kept quiet for so long. "So choose the right path with me. You may not care about justice or evil... but becoming a better person is such a wonderful thing, Dazai."

"Odasaku.... You weren't kidding when you said you were going to be a writer." Dazai smiles, and that's all the answer Oda needs.

"We can write our own stories together," he murmurs, and means it. Their stories, their lives, they'll write it down into time itself so that no one will ever forget they were here.

Chapter 3: Looking Forwards

"You owe me one," Dazai tells him, eye glinting in a way Oda knows better than to trust. It's not like he can deny it, though it doesn't mean he won't try.

"Why can't you just wash it?" It gets him exactly the response he wants. Dazai's expression scrunches up, looking as though Oda had just insulted the creator of linen bandages.

"Odasaku, that's gross," Dazai says flatly. There's no bite though, no sign that it's too soon to joke about almost getting killed, and Oda is grateful. Some sixth sense whispers of rough nights ahead of them, but he can handle those so long as he has this.

"It's cost-efficient," he counters, even as Dazai makes a show of not listening to him and instead goes traipsing off into the shop. Oda revels in the warmth unfurling in his chest, studying the sleek coats and leather satchels draped over mannequins in the display window before following suit.

Dazai's got his hands stuffed into the pockets of a sandy brown trenchcoat half an hour later, the coattail swishing heavily as he spins around on a heel to grin at Oda. The crystal on his bolo tie glints, blue like the sky above them and just as bright.

"At least wear it properly..." It's money well-spent, so he can't begin to sound as petulant as he wants. It's amazing to watch, really. With the decision to leave, both of them had abandoned their homes. Packing only what they needed into Oda's car and withdrawing as much cash as they could without drawing attention. They have about a week before the mafia notices. It's just enough time to get most of their funds out, and hopefully find a place they can lay low in.

Even with the shopping list of things they have to do, Dazai's readying himself for whatever task he's lining up, pulling on a persona that's familiar as much as it isn't. It's the lackadaisical behaviour Oda's used to seeing, taken to another level. It's a persona that hides the cold genius, but Oda is well-aware that Dazai isn't suppressing it at all. Just keeping it back so that others underestimate the abilities of an eighteen-year-old mafia executive.

There's a lightness in his steps Oda doesn't think is entirely false though, and that's what he marvels at as they walk side by side.

"There's a man we can meet tonight," Dazai informs him, fiddling with the cuffs of the trenchcoat. "He'll get us a place to work at."

"Is it a surprise?" They'd agreed that Dazai would pick their jobs. In all honesty, Oda would have been happy with almost anything honest, but well... Following Dazai had always been interesting and he knows that whatever Dazai signs them up for will be no different.

"Of course~" Dazai rubs his palms together, looking like a child about to raid a candy store. Actually, now that Oda thinks about it, Dazai looks like he's about to raid a pharmacy. "We have a few hours until then, so there's time to perfect our new looks."

"... Do I have to?" As one, they look at Oda's outfit. The only difference is that he's lacking his coat, and that's only because it's too torn and bullet-ridden to be used ever again. It's a loss he truly feels should be mourned.

"True, Odasaku already does look like a good law-abiding citizen..." Dazai contemplates aloud, then bops a fist into his palm. "How about a black coat to make you look like a thug?"

Oda considers that for a second, then shrugs. "As long as my holster harness fits, I won't complain."

"Oh? And how do you know you'll need your guns?" Dazai sidles close, the motion accompanied with a ridiculous eyebrow waggle, but it quickly melts into a laugh with the look Oda levels on him.

"I know you," Oda points out, and is startled by the pleasant surprise that lights up his partner's face.

"You do," Dazai agrees, an unfamiliar contentment in his voice. Oda steps closer without thinking, their shoulders bumping. There's no response to that, but Oda doesn't think it's necessary anyway.

They find another trenchcoat in a secondhand shop, scuffed at the elbows and stained with coffee at the hem. Dazai laments about the lack of 'newness' in the 'new' image for half a minute, then goes alarmingly quiet when Oda slips the coat on and adjusts the lapels. It's a little on the loose side, but they can afford to get it tailored so he isn't too concerned. He's more worried about the way Dazai is eyeing him, dark eyes flicking from his face to his chest region a few times before finally settling on the former.

"You're getting this one," Dazai informs him, and- Oh. Oda fights the tug at the corner of his mouth, turning his attention to the trenchcoat itself and sliding his hand inside to gauge the amount of leeway he has. Even with the adjustments, there would still be space for his guns, he thinks, so long as he doesn't fasten it closed. The material is durable too, even if he estimates its age to be somewhere between two and five years. Thick enough to provide some level of insulation but not so much that it would be absolute hell during the (relatively) cooler parts of summer.

Assessment complete, he lifts his gaze to find Dazai still staring, and can't help but tilt his head to the side slightly. "The quality is fine, but I'll need to have it adjusted slightly. Do you want to keep looking, or...?"

They leave the shop five minutes later, Oda's secondhand trenchcoat draped over one arm and Dazai's elbow hooked around the other.

The man they're meeting is Chief Taneda Santouka. Oda only finds this out in the bathroom, as he helps Dazai unwind the bandage that encircles the younger man's head, and has to blink a few times to process the words. Dazai misses the gesture because Oda's standing behind him, and carries on as though he hadn't somehow made contact with the acting commander of the Special Abilities Division.

"He doesn't know that we know where he'll be," Dazai points out, even though Oda hadn't said a word. Not for the first time, Oda wonders if mind-reading is Dazai's true Ability.

"His schedule must not have been easy to find out," Oda muses, because he hadn't seen Dazai using the phone recently (even if no one would actually dare to bug the phone of Port Mafia's Demon Prodigy) and he can't imagine how else Dazai would have found this out when neither of them have a laptop (that they could afford to throw away should it be tracked, anyway).

"Oh, you know me, Odasaku. I have my ways." Dazai waves a hand, brushing the matter off like he does the locks of hair that fall over his face when Oda loosens the bandage and frees them. There's a moment where constant pressure has made impressions on Dazai's hair, leaving a good inch and a half flat against his scalp, and the effect is just so odd to see that Oda has to run fingers through his hair a few times to at the very least mask it, grinning helplessly the whole time.

Then Dazai turns around, and... Oh. Oda can feel the grin melt right off his face, everything coming to a stop as he takes in the sight of Dazai blinking slowly, likely adjusting to having a wider field of vision. He's staring and he knows it, and so does Dazai when those dark eyes focus on him, Dazai's body turning on the lowered toilet cover to make it easier. Oda considers looking away or saying something to detract from his own rapt attention, but dismisses the thought just as quickly. Instead, he reaches up to curl fingers under Dazai's chin, tilting Dazai's face up before sliding his hand along the other's jaw so he can brush a thumb over just under the newly-revealed eye.

"Odasaku?" Dazai's smiling, that little smile Oda's only ever seen in private - that teasing smirk that's just that. Teasing, with no threat, no freezing indifference, and no mockery.

"You look good," Oda explains, and Dazai's eyes flutter shut as his fingers carefully work to peel off the square patch still taped over Dazai's cheek with the help of an alcohol swab.

"It only seems right," Dazai murmurs while Oda works. "You're the one who opened my eyes, after all." And that... Oda doesn't really know what Dazai means by that, aside from the possibility of a pun. But there's a smile on Dazai's face, the closest thing to contentment that he's ever seen. The permission he'd been given to not only see past the physical guards Dazai had put up, but to actually have a hand in taking those guards down is not a privilege lost on him, though how he'd earned it is certainly up for debate.

He doesn't ask though, just spends a little longer than is strictly necessary stroking the silky smooth skin of Dazai's cheeks and smiling as Dazai leans into the touch. Later, Dazai will catch onto Oda's newest accessory, the familiar band of white wrapped a few times around his wrist and pinned in place, and Oda will be accused of stealing Dazai's look. Oda will shrug, and Dazai's expression when Oda tells him that it's simply a reminder will be just like the one Dazai had given him when Oda had offered a way out. And just like that... maybe Dazai will never find a way to be free of the loneliness, but this closeness Oda has earned... It's a start, at any rate.

Chapter 4: Four Years Later

Kunikida Doppo is a man worthy of respect. He has a sharp mind, honed by years of working for the agency and solving cases most would flounder in. He has discipline, the kind that would suffocate any other person but only serves to make him thrive. He's genuine in ways that are both obvious and not, the way he picks up snacks for the rest of the agency some days before arriving, and the way he is always, always looking out for his colleagues, regardless of whether or not they need looking out for.

For all that the agency teases him, Kunikida Doppo is very much the spine, holding them up and keeping them together.

Still, it's been four long years, and Oda firmly believes Kunikida should have expected something like this by now.

"I'm going to kill him," the agent in question seethes, fingers twitching like talons. Oda puts a hand on his shoulder, both to placate the man and to stop him from jumping into the river himself.

"Good luck," Oda tells him, and means it. It's not like Kunikida would ever truly try anyway. For all that he's literally knocked Dazai around, Oda's caught him tending to Dazai miscellaneous "I live a dangerous life, Kunikida-kun~" injuries more than once.

They find Dazai about five minutes later, and even Oda is surprised by that. Not because of how quickly they'd found him, but because they'd actually found him instead Dazai finding them and possibly getting river water on them in the process.

(It doesn't compare with the smell of blood and burning metal and sewage, but that doesn't mean Oda is willing to smell like whatever Yokohama throws into its water system.)

"Dazai!" Kunikida shouts, and Oda only listens with half an ear, filtering out everything he's heard a dozen times before (which is most of it, honestly). There's a boy next to his partner, with silver-white hair and drab clothes that hang off his thin frame. From what Oda gathers in the loud exchange between his co-workers, the boy had 'saved' Dazai from drowning. Oda highly doubts drowning of all things would have managed to even injure the brunette, but it's the thought that counts.

Dazai's prodding Kunikida into repaying the boy for saving him, and that's what catches Oda's attention. A quick glance to the side to mark a route, and Oda jogs across the connecting road to meet Dazai while his partner finalises the 'deal' with Kunikida by blatantly ignoring the state of the blonde's wallet.

"My name is Osamu Dazai," his partner is saying when Oda catches up, and the breeze that swirls past makes the pose Dazai's striking far more dramatic than it needs to be.

"You're also going to get sick," Oda points out, and can feel his own mouth hitching up at the corner at the grin Dazai offers him. The boy standing a few feet away just about jumps a mile at Oda's arrival, but he ignores that for the moment. Instead, he shrugs off his coat and tugs at Dazai until the man sheds the sodden trenchcoat and exchanges it for Oda's.

"And this is Odasaku, Atsushi-kun," Dazai introduces, slipping his arms through the sleeves of Oda's coat. "He looks scary but he only bites if you ask~"

"Oda Sakunosuke," Oda greets. "Dazai bites even if you tell him not to, so he's not one to talk."

The kid, Atsushi, looks ready to jump back into the river. He does accept the hand Oda offers though, his grip too-loose and too stiff, and Oda suspects no one's made the gesture to him before. Still, Dazai's approved of him for a reason, so Oda's curious to learn why.

"Ah- Kunikida-kun~ You're here!" Dazai calls, looking over Oda's shoulder, and Oda holds back a sigh because Kunikida is most definitely still annoyed. He can tell that much without looking because Atsushi goes pale, and Oda can't help but inch a little closer just in case Atsushi trips back into the river.

All in all, it's a peaceful walk to the nearest restaurant that serves tea on rice. The sky's turned orange-red, flocks of birds turned into moving smudges of black overhead. Dazai prods at Kunikida relentlessly and Kunikida hisses like a disgruntled kitten, but the only action he takes is the handkerchief he uses to scrub Dazai's wet hair.

Oda's content to fall behind, side-by-side with Atsushi, though neither of them speak. Atsushi's fidgeting like he has something to say though, so Oda decides to wait. He won't hold back anymore, not when he has the choice to reach out, but there's a time and place for that, and now and here is not it. Not yet.

[leonawriter]

Stray Dogs and Tiger Cubs (pt.18)

Also on AO3

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Characters: Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Kyouka.

...

"....What're you doing?"

If he'd asked any of the staff at the orphanage such a question, he would have been ignored, shouted at, or worse. But he was coming to realise that no one here was like that - and there was something about being held and supported by Da-san like that even while Da-san was angry, that made him feel at a level deeper than he could begin to think up the words for, that Da-san would never do any of those things.

So now here he was, the morning after his first proper sleep in days, standing up on his tip-toes to try and see what was going on.

"Kunikida-kun's hounding me for a report on my side of what happened in the past few days," Da-san said, sounding like he was mumbling because he had his arms on the desk and his head on his arms and he wasn't speaking clearly, which was something else the orphanage staff would never have done. "I don't wanna."

"You're going to have to do it sooner or later, and since we're going to be dealing with the mafia because of your actions, I'd prefer sooner."

"Yosano can write it."

"Yosano has already written her report."

"Atsushi-chan... at some point, you're going to have to learn how to write a report of your own. What do you say to starting now?"

Atsushi blinked, eyes going wide at the very real responsibility and barely hearing Kunikida's angry shouting, until he remembered something important.

"But... Da-san, I- I don't... I haven't learned some of these kanji yet..."

"Eh?" Da-san blinked at him, as if he didn't understand. Atsushi blinked back. Da-san lifted up his head, and looked over at Kunikida, and his the look on his face making Atsushi wonder if he'd said something wrong. "Kunikida-kun. He's still learning his kanji." 

That was what he'd just said. He'd been keeping up at the same rate as everyone else at the orphanage, even with... everything else... or he'd thought so, at least. Did this mean he should have somehow-

"Of course he is, Dazai," Kunikida was saying, "he should still be in school, but you took care of that-"

Kunikida stopped, and Atsushi jumped at a knock on the door.

...

I saw this kid and the next thing I knew I was running from the place with a kid under my arm, getting into a car and telling the driver to floor it, were the words Chuuya had used to sum up his rescue of Atsushi. Which made the entire event sound more like a theft, or a kidnapping, than a rescue.

In essence, at least as Dazai had seen it, it had been no different from what Odasaku might have done, the way he'd saved those few children from the war zone of the Dragon's Head Conflict. 

In the direct aftermath, he hadn't put such words to his actions, still running on a form of adrenaline, expecting - somehow - that sooner or later the problem of who would look after Atsushi now would be taken out of his hands.

He hadn't thought about where Atsushi would stay, other than that he was sure that eventually the boy would be able to control himself, somehow.

He hadn't thought about schooling, barely even remembering his own childhood well enough to know what a child that young would or wouldn't know, only that  by the time he'd been fourteen and wanting to die, and Mori had found him, he'd known everything he'd needed to in order to be seen as an asset to the mafia.

He hadn't tensed in the presence of police for over a year now, and yet - here they were, in his place of work, his place of safety, and he...

"Huh? Is this girl... with the Agency?"

There were too many things that could go wrong. Even as the President defended Kyouka's presence, Dazai noticed them looking over in his direction as well, where Atsushi's hand had started to clench tightly onto the overhanging fabric of his waistcoat, as if Atsushi was afraid to be taken away.

"And talking of kids, isn't this the same one who you guys took along to that murder investigation? I thought it was weird back then, that a kid would be out of school like that, but..."

"Atsushi-chan's mine!" Or - at least, that's what he heard himself say, as brightly as he might once have asked his enemies to kindly die, and save him the trouble of killing them. "Isn't that right, Atsushi-chan?"

Atsushi, for his part, nodded without letting go.

...

He sighed as soon as they'd left - perfectly nice people, he was sure, which meant that it was nothing personal at all that he simply didn't want them anywhere near him for the time being. The problem was nowhere near solved, but at least, for the moment, they had a little more time.

Kunikida was staring at him. He had barely stopped staring at him ever since he'd said those words - Atsushi-chan is mine - and it'd only become more obvious once the police had gone and his reaction wasn't going to sabotage Dazai's efforts.

It wouldn't be so bad if it was just Kunikida, but... he could feel other eyes on him as well.

Overall, it made him feel as though he had just taken his shirt off in the middle of the summer heat, leaving his bandages fully on display - uncomfortable, with the specific sense that people were about to start asking invasive questions.

"Come, Atsushi-chan. We're going out!"

He pushed his chair out and stood, stretching, and reached over for his coat.

"Wait- hey! Dazai, you still haven't written that report!"

"I'm going to be the one to handle most of the relations between the Agency and the mafia anyway, so it's not as if the report can't wait," he called back airily. "So there's no harm in taking Atsushi out for some fresh air while we know no one's going to be coming after him, yes?"

"How do we even know that? And why would you be the one to handle things between the Agency and the mafia in the first place of all people?! Oi, Dazai-"

"If Atsushi-chan is going somewhere, then I'm coming, too," a quiet voice added, Kyouka speaking up for the first time that morning as he went for the door. "Protecting him is the new assignment that Nakahara-san gave me, after all."

"Right, right... ah! I just remembered. This is perfect timing. The report has to wait at least until I've come back! Kyouka-chan, you can be the go-between."

"You can talk to him yourself."

"Only if I absolutely have to."

They leave before Kunikida can ask what he means by that - if he can put off explaining himself for a little while longer, he will - but's only once they're out of the building, having wished Kenji well on his own investigation, and gone halfway down the street when Kyouka asks what they're really out for.

"Several things," he admits to the two children, who are both listening intently to him. "One is to get the rest of the information I was after in the first place. Two, scouting out places that would work as neutral meeting spots, and..."

"And?"

While Kyouka was more than capable of walking along on her own, Atsushi - who up until now had simply held onto his coat - had his hand, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd held the hand of someone so small, and it was enough to make him pause.

Atsushi trusted him. Against everything that everyone else had said, that one thing - and Odasaku's words still echoing in the back of his mind - was enough to make him not let go, and simply adjust his grip.

"Books!" Atsushi's eyes lit up, which was a good sign. "We need to find some that are Atsushi-friendly." He could hardly just leave his own favourite books just lying around, either. 

Then again, it wasn't like he knew what sort of books children of Atsushi's age tended to read; the only children in his general age group he'd come into contact with had been... Elise, and Q. And neither of those two could exactly be considered a benchmark for a normal child under any circumstances, which aside from the entire tiger issue, Atsushi was.

The three of them are halfway into their third bookshop when a car alarm goes off in the distance, and then a loud noise, followed by several other loud noises. Kyouka's hand is inching toward her blade when another alarm joins the first.

"Nothing to worry about," Dazai says, hand on Atsushi's shoulder when he realises the boy has tensed up. "Kenji-kun was heading out around the time we were, so he's probably just finishing up around now."

"That's... finishing up?"

"You shouldn't underestimate the Detective Agency, Kyouka-chan."

"I... see."

"Now, how about this one?"

The contemplative look on her face vanishes, replaced by a slight frown.

"You can't just get Atsushi-chan books that have tigers on them, Dazai-san."

"Hm, you're right. It is the wrong colour."

He puts the book back, and picks out another one, this time with a properly white tiger.