#also. i deleted bc i found a lot of my work to be questionable!

[broodsys]

when I deleted my old ao3 they emailed me all my fic which was very nice but I've never had cause to actually read those emails so I regularly get notified abt them even tho they're like... 6 years old?

so all of a sudden my phone has a popup which is just like "your work has been deleted" and I used to not care but now I keep having a moment of panic bc I'm actually using ao3 again lmao

[ineffable-romantics]

Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:

This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:

First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)

These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.

I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.

This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.

Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.

This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.

If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.

With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.

Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can

Food

Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).

This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.

Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.

(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)

Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.

The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.

And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.

It's What Humans Do

In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).

He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).

What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.

But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.

Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?

Angels, Demons, & Asexuality

Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.

Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)

And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).

The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.

I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.

Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.

Except...

Brielzebub

We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.

For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.

And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).

Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.

Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.

Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction

But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?

And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.

At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).

So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?

I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.

After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)

Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.

However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".

Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.

I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.

But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.

(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)

More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.

Aziraphale's Hedonism

Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.

It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.

Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.

Dancing

I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.

I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.

We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.

(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)

As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.

Love Languages

I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.

We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.

You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.

The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).

And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.

So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.

So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.

"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"

Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.

First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")

(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)

More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.

Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.

The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).

Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.

Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.

The Birds & The Bees

Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.

Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.

Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma

The Kiss. Where to even begin?

This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.

It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.

Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.

Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.

So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.

I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.

What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.

All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.

(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)

Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).

Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.

In Conclusion

I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.

So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.

You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.

But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.

___________________________________

Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post

[hua-fei-hua]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @justpastsaturn~!! man it's been a while since i've partaken in something like this lol

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

63! 64 if you count the random anon one i don't technically write but for which i do overly-elaborate html for a friend. and um. a lot more if we want to also count each chapter of the single-ship ficlet collection works i have as a separate work ehe.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

heh. 772,261 words since june 2016. C:<

3. what fandoms do you write for?

these days just genshin, but in the past i did jjk, bnha, soul eater, flip flappers, and attack on titan. a number of years ago i also had a fma fic up on ffn, but i deleted it and never ported it to ao3. should still be on my google drive, though.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

//HEAVY SIGH.

sparklers (BnHA), 939 kudos

Orchid in Bloom (BnHA), 476 kudos

the diner at the end of the night (JJK), 474 kudos

Fermata (BnHA), 413 kudos

Veneer (BnHA), 368 kudos

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do!!! mostly it's bc i have can't-shut-up disease, but through the years, i've also found it to be a really good community-building exercise!!!! i'm not the type of person to get involved in fandom discord servers, so i've come to really treasure the friendly environment the comments section of a wip can foster, as well as the friends i've made because of it~

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am actually a hardcore happy-ending person myself, so pretty much all of them end with some sense of hope. there's a kagerou days au i wrote for bnha back in the day, though, so i guess time looping to die for one another infinitely counts here.

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

tbh i have a hard time quantifying the happiness of all the different endings i've written, esp since it's been years since i've written simple self-indulgent "and then they all lived happily ever after the end" kinds of endings ahahaha,,,

8. do you get hate on fics?

no but someone impersonating me left a hate comment in my name on a fe3h byleth hannibal au back in may 2021. that was crazy i hope ao3 user dikhotomia is living their best life writing whatever the fuck they want after that incident.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i wrote exactly one (1) explicit fic which was literally just a 16k word sex scene bc the logical endpoint to xiao genshinimpact's character arc is that he needs to get fucked. i don't make the rules. outside of studying blorbo, though, i don't really feel any compulsion to write smut

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

nah. i'll write fusion aus, where cast a goes into setting b and may or may not try to retell the story of canon b, but i like to put the "transformative" into "transformative works" in those situations, to the point where people sometimes can't tell what story i'm basing the narrative off of LOL

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my memory or knowledge, no.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, several times!! mostly back in my bnha days, where i had one fic (partially) translated into chinese and russian, a different fic reviewed and fully translated into chinese; going even farther back, i also once had a query to translate one of my snk fics into french, but i never really heard back from that person so i assume that one fell through.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i'd say yes. there's the aforementioned fic i do the overly-elaborate html for, but also back in high school, a couple friends n i sat around my computer between rounds at a speech tournament and took turns turning one of my kouhai's scripts into a bnha fic that kept on going off the rails bc i implemented a "no backspacing" rule and once our turn typing was over, we had to have our hands-off the computer until it was our turn again.

14. what's your all-time favorite ship?

let's just cut to the chase and make this post timeless: i like it when a ship is basically just MONSTER x MONSTER FUCKER. if not on a literal level, then a spiritual/metaphorical level! bonus points if both parties think the other person is the monster fucker!!!!

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

well i actually recently decided to let go of zenith, so i don't really have any "i wish i could finish this" thoughts abt it anymore tbh... i think abt finishing my html sanitizer 2.0 so that i can post the notes for it more conveniently though lol

16. what are your writing strengths?

heh. bitches love my characterization. and imagery/use of metaphor!

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

SOMEONE will probably snipe me if i say poetry, but i still find my poems to be rather stiff and overly-literal, so i still consider poetry to be a weakness of mine. and fight scenes. DEFINITELY #1 weakness fight scenes.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

for a word here or two there, i don't mind as long as it's culturally appropriate. (you will pry my dearly beloved "aiya" out of my cold dead hands) like that's just how people talk in real life. for longer sentences or conversations, then i'd like it if there are translation notes left somewhere. at the very least, i'd kind of like a narrative or aesthetic reason if the meaning can't be parsed from context alone.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

pokemon, if we're counting my being five years old and unaware of what fanfiction is! otherwise, attack on titan or my little pony.

20. favorite fic you've written?

tbh i try not to play favorites w/my fics anymore, since if a darling of mine doesn't get the attention i think it deserves, i end up having a tough time getting over it emotionally, which has sometimes led to unnecessary bitterness and resentment towards the fic or even fandom/community itself.

tagging~ @kanonavi, @cadriona, @tempests-bards-and-birds, @followerofmercy, @chickycherrycola, and anyone else who might feel like it hehe

[signed-sapphire]

OKAYYYYY. @your-ne1ghbor, I love you for these wonderful questions. Tumblr, FUCK YOU FOR DELETING THIS DRAFT FOUR TIMES.

Ahem. I swear if this deletes again I’m going to stab something. Maybe Asha’s parents.

Anyways, I’m going to break this up for easier comprehension.

Light versus dark magic

This is going to be quicker because if this deletes again I SWEAR I’M SCREAMING buuuuut, at first I thought about doing light v dark magic like @oh-shtars, with dark magic being the same, but quicker and at a cost.

Then I thought about how Stars work in the TFS universe.

And I decided that magic comes from emotions. The stronger the emotion, the more powerful the spell. If magic is casted with good intentions and reaps good consequences, it’s considered light magic.

For example! Magnus taking the wishes of Rosas. He has good intentions— keeping them safe— and reaps good consequences— Stars don’t attack and kill them. Thus, light magic.

A good example of dark magic would be Maleficent cursing baby Aurora. Bad intentions— jealousy, bitterness— with bad consequences— death of an innocent child. So it’s dark magic.

The use of dark magic warps its wielder. Magic is a living thing, it breathes and lives in every living thing. But dark magic, full of ill intent, can poison its user and make their heart dark. It also curses their appearance, whether it be slow or fast, slowly corrupting them.

That's my hc on why a lot of Disney villains don't look human. I'm scrapping the idea of "bad guys based off of queer people bc being gay = bad" and changing it to this because I said so

A good example of the distinction between the two would be Elsa's magic. When she's happy and safe, she uses light magic.

However... her fear. It’s too powerful of an emotion to be handled with light magic. The only way to contain it is via jagged, sharp icicles of dark magic.

Therefore, her striking Anna in the heart was dark magic.

Bad consequences, bad emotions, "bad" magic.

I truly think if Anna had died, Elsa would’ve succumbed to dark magic and become the Snow Queen from the original tale.

So why does Maggy take the wishes?

Magnus uses magic for two things:

To maintain the barrier around Rosas

To take people’s wishes and turn them into wish orbs

Both of these things are to protect Rosas from attacking Stars. I went into it a bit here, but Stars can sense ungranted wishes. Taking those wishes and storing them away prevents Stars from seeing them and attacking. But just in case, a barrier surrounds Rosas, tinting the sky a beautiful pastel purple.

It’s been established Magnus has light magic. He’s keeping his people safe, giving them shelter and a chance to have a good, unbiased Wishgranter.

Surely taking people’s wishes, no matter the intent, is still okay! Taking their drive and spark doesn’t make them feel as if something is missing from their life! This has no bad consequences whatsoever!

Do Magnus and Amaya hate the stars? Why?

It’s… complicated.

For Magnus, at least.

He didn’t have the most lavish life before the Stars. He had a small circle and liked it that way. He wasn’t the best person, but he did what needed to be done.

Then the Stars attacked, and killed the only one he cared for.

But still, Magnus knows that without that incident, he never would’ve met Asha or Amaya, and never would’ve founded Rosas and saved so many other people from experiencing the same grief he has. The Stars deserve no love or empathy, but if he could rewrite time, he… wouldn’t.

Amaya, on the other hand? Definitely. She had a big family, with lots of siblings and nieces and nephews. She left them all to pursue her dreams of potion making, and came back to not a village, but a pile of ash.

There weren’t even any bodies left to bury.

She hates them.

Can Amaya do magic as well?

Magic may be in every being, but only a few can naturally harness it. Magnus’ magic capabilities were passed down generationally (ha), while Amaya’s wasn’t. But she studied magic, and to make potions work, you have to understand the magic in them.

However, she can cast a simple fire or levitation spell in a pinch.

Did they ever teach Asha any form of magic?

Asha is also one of the people who has to learn magic in order to master it. However, magic is a fickle thing and doesn’t like her intentions. But Asha has a workaround! Surely, when she turns eighteen, she can just wish to become a great sorceress!

…

…right?

How did Cielo get to earth?

I went into that a bit here :3

[winryrockbellwannabe]

25 and 26/60 dop - [7th and 8th/january]

✅ Well, first of all, biostats project finally submitted! This was so tiring, yesterday i was almost delusional around 23h, i still studied for a bit, but i was almost falling asleep standing, so i gave up around midnight and just went to sleep.

today, i realized i forgot to delete some comments on the code, like, a bit that i had copied online and another full of question marks😭😭 its so embarassing. Also, wow, i sent the code to my classmates and they didn't even notice this, the amount of effort they gave to this project is admirable (one never opened the docs in which we were doing the report, the other only changed ONE SENTENCE in the abstract. and that's basically all their contribuition😤). but whtv, it's finally done.

📝my biostats professor gave us around 40 mock up exercises, so today i answered about 15 of those (i basically said outloud what i thought would be the right answer and then i spent a bit searching in the material to write the most complete answer possible, so i can use this to revision for the exam)

💪yesterday i started studying the muscular system - physiology, today i finished it and did all exercises from this worksheet online. also, i found out there's a ton of materials in the drive that was compiled by older students, idk how i didn't see it last year, some of those are literally god sent🙏

🧝‍♀️i started watching Frieren, and im enjoying it sm! It's making me super emotional, ngl. i was already super emotional bc of fruit's basket, and this is hitting the same spot, im loving it.

today, i still want to:

[ ] study the introduction materials for physiology (i skipped it yesterday bc it's boring, and i didn't want to fall asleep) and answer the respective exercises from the work sheet.

[ ] study a bit of cardiovascular system tonight.

aand that's it.

⚠️‼️ it might sound like im studying physiology super fast, that's bc our curriculum is not as demanding as it would be for med students (it also uses a lot of med school exercises from exams from previous years, so im counting on that) and also im running out of time, so i gotta speed run this lol. so don't feel bad if you spend the entire day on a topic. i would too if i had the time/will power to do it

🦋gotta go have a snack, watch frieren and keep studying. Hope y'all have a wonderfull day💜

[fangshing]

trying to figure out whadda hell is going on in yr last few posts but regardless i hope the chaos calms down

did that person make a throwaway acct to circumvent anon being turned off?

I'll try to sum everything up as succinctly as possible but the situation is crazy so apologies if this might be hard to read. But to answer your question: it is so much more than that

I won't be naming anyone except for Station/@.haupkmn because it is currently having a meltdown after being caught doxing someone's family and is begging people to delete the proof of said doxing

so this entire saga begins a few months ago when i get a DM from someone. still not sure if it was station or someone affiliated with it, but that's beside the point

they(using they pronouns bc i don't know exactly who it was) approach me and say that I've got everything all wrong, that [mutual of mine] is actually a terrible abusive stalker and I've been led around by the nose

(I had actually been DM'd by an alter of Station's a year or two ago who had emphatically declared that it had, quote, "never SA'd anyone". I had never read anything saying that it did. This was all sent to me out of the blue)

I was dumbfounded because all I had done was ask a question on [mutual]'s post and now had the cavalry show up in my DMs

In the spirit of fairness I decided to hear them out but after not receiving any concrete "proof" after several days and from several different sideblogs I gave up and blocked everyone, hoping to wash my hands of the whole thing

I ended up getting DMs from even more new sideblogs, even after repeatedly telling them to stop contacting me

This resulted in me turning my DMs off, and then eventually I turned anon off as well because they were using that to try and get me to reply to them

For a while this worked. They were still talking about me on their blog(s) but they were no longer trying to involve me in it

Until last night when Station was called out for doxing someone's family

This also led to two other mutuals posting conversations they've had with Station and/or its so called "defense team", showing a side of itself it doesn't want others to see

Of course now its whining that since it's been found both doxing and harassing people its going to be a bigger target of [mutual] and to Pwease take down any evidence of my wrongdoing :((((((

There's a lot more craziness going on but that's the gist of what has been happening to me personally

[hircines-hunter]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

sorry let me post this on the RIGHT blog! not sure if the other tags stay if I delete it but. Thank you @rakaiawriter for tagging me! Tagging @thequeenofthewinter @umbracirrus @madamefluffnstuff @bostoniangirl21

How many works do you have on A03? 18 works (mostly bc I dont post my oneshots separately).

What's your total word count? 174k on AO3 (I have a lot that is NOT posted and a bunch that’s been scrapped. Like probably another 100k+ more words lol

What fandoms do you write for? TES, Dragon’s Dogma (Eventually one day I’ll write my One Piece things)

Top 5 fics by kudos? Just a Ruin (and Mudcrab) Advocate  54 Kudos Coldfire Codex  29 Kudos Roar of a Wolfborn 25 Kudos Mages’ Guild Fiasco: Journal of Vestige Liselle 22 Kudos Shadows Preserve Us 22 Kudos

Do you respond to comments? I try to! I do keep them in my email though! <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? It is not posted anymore, but I wrote out a miniseries for Sifkni’s past. So, if you are reading the newly updated version of Roar of a Wolfborn, you probably never got to experience the angst that was Howls of Whiterun (If you are interested and want to read stuff from 2014/2015 send me a DM I can send the document of trash :3)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Rage of Dragons and the Vestige - It’s the 3rd part in Liselle’s story. It covers Northern Elsweyr. She gets married to that old man, Abnur Tharn. Gets herself a Khajiiti Wedding bc that’s where they were.

Do you get hate on fics? I have in the past. For my old crack fic for Kingdom Hearts. I’ve recently found my one Dragon’s Dogma fic on a stupid website that says your writing is shitty or whatever. LOL I’m more angry about it, but like, it was written for fun… nothing serious my dudes. ( I can also supply this link but honestly its stupid.) The fic was written in 2014? 2015? And the review was posted in 2019?? XD

Do you write smut? I have but I will not write it anymore. It makes my physically ill sometimes. I get really bad anxiety over it.

Craziest crossover? I have a fic from like…2001? That was just a bunch of my husbandos from all my favorite animes falling in love with me. :3c, but nothing recent. Crossovers are not my things.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? YES! OMG! Someone stole MY fic idea and then TRIED to say I PLAGIARIZED THEM! The absolute! NERVE!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I am aware…. I’ve had people use my translations of doujinshi to make more translations?

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes. It was quickly dropped due to his time constraints and low interest in TES at the time. Attempted to write it myself, but it wasn’t the same.

All-time favorite ship? Abnur Tharn x Liselle Yvette Farkas x Sifkni

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Frostfalls of Solstheim - I dont know why I EVEN started this, but not sure I will finish it Shadows Preserve Us - I hate this so much. I love Ragna and I love Mercer, but its been so hard to focus on this now. I might rewrite one day.

What are your writing strengths? Fuck if I know.

What are your writing weaknesses? I think I hate it sometimes? I procrastinate A LOT!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? As someone who inserts random Ta’agra, Jel and Dovahzul into their fics…. :)

First fandom you ever wrote in? Slayers Next??

Favorite fic you've written? Just a Ruin (and Mudcrab) Advocate or Roar of a Wolfborn

[mrs-monaghan]

This ask got me thinking:

https://www.tumblr.com/smokingtiger/720038326922526720/i-really-liked-your-post-about-shipping-and-i-feel?source=share

To summarize it, they question the veracity of the infamous Dispatch 2017 list, where Jimin and Jungkook's names were listed along with other couples that confirmed dating and some are even married... They talk about the possibility of it being photoshopped since armies did that before in the past.

But like, if it was indeed photoshopped, wouldn't someone have found the original list by now? I'm pretty sure dumbass Taekookers must have tried to debunk it and see if they could prove that it was a photoshopped list, but no one ever found anything to debunk that list.

I mean, I've seen a lot of fake dispatch pictures of Jungkook, they even photoshopped girls next to JK and just photoshopped the dispatch logo there and it low-key looks REAL, but I was still able to find the original picture really EASILY, so, wouldn't someone have found the original list?

Shaz, humor me for a second, because I analyzed the fuck out of that picture and, to me, it's real.

First of all, it's a hard picture to Photoshop and make it seem real, since the names are so close to each other, the height between the lines is very short. I'm good at Photoshop, I work with it, so I can tell if a photo has been modified instantly. I don't see anything photoshopped in the picture of the list.

The picture of the list isn't HD. It's very low quality, and it's a little blurry, all the names are blurry and also LQ. If you tried to erase the "original" name and place Jungkook's and Jimin's over it, the quality of the old, low-qualily font and the brand new font wouldn't match. Even if they did manage to find the exact same font, it'd still be quite obvious that something new was written on an old picture. It would stand out. This doesn't take a genius to notice.

Second of all: there's the issue with the color of the background of the picture and the lighting. Even if they managed to successfully cut the names out, there still would be the issue of reproducing the color of the background and the differences in shade due to the lightening exactly the same, and while some people manage to get close, it's never perfect. I can ALWAYS tell something was removed and they tried to "paint" the background back, because the shades change under the light.

It's like taking a picture of the sky and there's some bird there you don't want. You'll erase him out, blur the parts where it looks different, and it'll look like he was never there. But to people who know Photoshop, they'll see the difference in texture and the shade, the lighting.

As an example of this, the pictures I mentioned of Jungkook with girls photoshopped next to him were very easy for me to see the photoshopping. The girls were blurrier/a lot more LQ than Jungkook, and it doesn't make sense, if they're in the same picture, together, then why would her image be low quality and his image look sharper? This is what I'm talking about when I talk about the stark difference there would be if they tried to erase the low quality name and put something else over it.

I hope you read this, even if you delete it and decide not to answer, bc the list, to me, it's Jikook's biggest proof.

I am blocked by this person but I think I know what list you're talking about. Jikook is real my dear. They've always been real. But instead of wasting my time denying them I choose to celebrate their love and just enjoy their moments and hope that they'll always be happy.

Jimin and Jungkook love eo, are together and have a life together. It is what it is. Antis will never change this fact my dear. It remains what it is...

[dual-domination]

Twenty questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @forerussake Thank you very much! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

43 works public works, 4 anon works (because of harassment), total 47 works

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

388,480 words 

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, only Guardian and DMBJ (Detective L and GYADL count as Weilan Derivatives, so… still Guardian somehow skjsjsk)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Closer to my heart, back to our home - MDZS/Nieyao (139) Stars aligned in a perfect sky - Guardian X DMBJ/Zhaoxie/Pingsang and later Weilanxie (77) Completely Yours - MDZS/Nieyao (69) Shoot my heart - Guardian/Weilan (52) - Terrible, my first Guardian fic, written for a tumblr request, one day I’ll edit that fic bc I love the concept, but it’s not a good work at all >&lt; Maybe you just don't understand the brain of an ancient alien - Guardian X DMBJ/Weilanxie (52) 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I can take a while to do so, but I’ll always reply to comments, even if some get lost and I have to dig on my inbox to find out after months Ç_Ç (I’m sorry, I’m just messed when it comes to long comments and/or the ones that make me cry). I also love when authors reply to my comments on their fics.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Let me think for a moment, because I’m all ‘happy endings’ here. Probably Wrong side of Hell, a Zhaoxie Cop/Mob AU, because even when it’s tagged as happy/hopeful ending, it’s a momentary happiness, but the future prospects are against them

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

With the ending already posted? No idea But in general, I think it’s Maybe he's just an ancient alien who likes cute socks because everything here is just silly, domestic, sweet and warm. Like the panda print socks. Probably this fic will remain as the ending of this series because I’m not very enthusiastic when it comes to writing in Guardian Drama-verse 

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh yeah. A LOT. Nowadays it happens once in a while, but when I started posting my first Zhaoxie fic, Stars aligned in a perfect sky , I got so much hate on my askbox and even dms from people that I used to see as friends. Mostly were anon on my askbox, really WTF things, people were truly upset that I was shipping Zhao Yunlan with someone else that was not Shen Wei. When things started changing and this fic showed a hint of what could be (or not) an OT3 fic (so, Shen Wei!), I got even more hate and a lot of bigotry about polyamory! It was an insane moment. If someone wants to know the outcome, this fic has almost 300k (yet only around 100k posted) and IT IS OT3 - also set my career as crossover + OT3 writer kjskjskjsj. My askbox is still open to anon and will always be. You can send hate or love, you choose. Hate will NEVER be responded, though. I delete all hate I receive.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

In English, usually no. In my 1st language, I used to, eventually, within long works, with plot. But once I fully stopped writing in my 1st language, I found it hard to write very descriptive sex scenes - also doesn’t help how confused I get having to explain where their legs and hands are and what the hell they’re doing with their tongues. But I managed it twice, one is in a posted work (2Luo) Love is a heart’s choice, and the other is in an upcoming chapter of a WIP (not the current series, yet I wish kjskjsjs)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Oh man, I’m a crossover writer. I LIVE for my crossovers and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go back writing a non-crossover fic. (Also love reading crossovers, hello Fixa!) But craziest one? Guess it was a drabble for Fixa (and I loved that), DMBJ x LOTR, it’s not on ao3, but it’s here on tumblr… somewhere. It’s Wu Xie + a Palantír.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A whole fic? No idea. But concepts, ideas, dialogues, yes. Multiple times. 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

It counts the fics I translated myself/wrote bilingual? If not, then no, unless that yes and I don’t know about sjkkjsjs

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Of course! Since the beginning of my life as a ficwriter (I started writing originals long before writing fics). I’m used to working with Vince @victorian-pirate more often, with Arjun @sagittariusdarkarrow when he wants to play specific characters in my fics, but in other fandoms I used to co-write even more than nowadays. With Tazzy, I have a 2Luo series, but we still don’t have a fic we fully wrote together, each part of the series is written by one or the other. I’m always open to talk about co-writing.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Only one ship? Look, I live in fandoms for 3 decades, but not always for shipping (Tolkien, for example), but there are a few ships that will always be appealing to me. I’m going for Weilanxie here, because I didn’t expect this OT3 to be so powerful to me and hold so deep meanings in my life (both fandom and real life).

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

It’s mine and Vince’s beloved fic, Seawater is tears shed in the shores (not posted). I don’t doubt we can finish, I doubt we will, because we’d have to rewrite a lot to have the results we want, and that WIP is HUGE, which makes us lazy… Now, about my MDZS wips, it’s not a doubt, I’m sure I’ll never finish because I have no interest in doing so. I wrote for fun and practice, but that fandom never got my heart the way DMBJ and Guardian did.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, long plots, worldbuilding. And The Shower - any idea I struggle with, I just need to take a shower to have it clear and perfect on my mind, so guess that counts.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sex scenes and fighting scenes - too many movements, too confused touching and hitting and doing this and that, but I still can manage a pretty decent fighting scene when needed. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it’s a language I speak, yep. If I don’t, but can make sure that it’s not only grammatically correct, but also culturally correct, also yep. Otherwise, I’d be committing a crime against what I love the most 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HAHA GOOD QUESTION, I HAVE NO IDEA. I started writing fics when I was around 13 (25 years ago), about any and every media I loved, like movies, books, bands - no computer, me and my friends used to write on paper and everyone in the classroom would greedily read and wait for another chapter/story (I’m introvert, but never shy about my writing). But that I clearly remember because it was the 1st fandom I POSTED for, because we already could access the internet once in a while from other people’s computers at that time, was Saint Seiya. 

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I don’t even know how many fics I’ve written in my life. But maybe Forgotten Songs of Arda, (this fic starts at and with the beginning of The Silmarillion and goes until long post-LOTR. It’s a rewritten story, from the pov of an OC and Mairon/Sauron). It was written around 15 years ago, so I don’t quite remember enough, and despite being in my 1st language, Vince (who doesn’t speak my 1st language) translated that to read (that was one of the things that built our friendship). The few parts still alive are with him, I lost most of my old fics last year, when my previous laptop completely scattered on the floor. In EN, for sure Stars aligned in a perfect sky (main and side-stories)

tagging @tazzy-ace @jaimebluesq @lacommunarde @omaenanimonoda and I don't remember who else I didn't see already tagged in this Ç_Ç

[antoniosvivaldi]

hii! I wanted to ask you a question about photoshop: every time I try to save a gif on my mac for the past week it saves the gif but when I try to open it it says "the file could not be opened because it is empty" or before I even get to save it, it says "could not complete the Export command because the file was not found" or "the operation could not be completed - a file system I/O error has occurred"

I’m not computer savvy at all, so maybe it’s my old macbook. I have 130 free GB on my mac but sometimes it’ll still give me the no free disk space message…..

there are just constantly issues with photoshop, I have adobe ps 2024, so it is pretty recent, which might not work well on my old computer??

idk it was running smoothly for a while but now just making one gif will take me an hour bc I have to close ps so often and sometimes shut off my computer bc ps won’t force quit, it’s a nightmare

even resetting the settings doesn’t really help, or deleting old files. 

I just don’t know what to do… do you per chance have any advice on how to fix this? I don't know what I'm doing wrong 💀😭

Hi Emma! Thank you so much for the message 💖 I'll answer all of your concerns one by one:

Have you inspected the file size of the gif that was exported on Photoshop? This issue might be common amongst older hardware / insufficient system memory (where some attempts to export a gif will result in a file that's empty) Have you tried exporting this gif twice to see if you're able to get a working image?

Photoshop uses some of your disk space as scratch disk: if your computer doesn't have a lot of RAM you'll notice that a larger portion of your storage is used up when you're running Photoshop. This might explain why Photoshop returns you the scratch disk error when you're doing something more intensive (e.g. gifmaking using Timeline)

Photoshop 2024 is ill-optimised for older Macs (with Intel-based CPU's). Not only it requires the bare minimum of 8GB of system memory to run, it also has annoying pop-up messages if you're using an older version of MacOS (i.e. you need at least Ventura to avoid the pop-up message)

I think your best bet is install an older version of Photoshop (particularly Photoshop 2021 or earlier) that has a more lenient set of system requirements. I hope this helps ❣️

[marumarielle]

‼️ anon

https://www.tumblr.com/marumarielle/739387418948550656/httpswwwtumblrcomchaisshitposts7339346172021

Continuing on this topic, what are ur opinions on when someone gets SA'd/assualted/abused when they're grown, like let's say when they're in their 20s or 30s or sum', would chai's belief still apply to this? It's smth I've been wondering for a while, cause like I get how impressionable the mind and the subconscious is when ure younger but what about when ure older? Would it mean u were somehow feeding ur subconscious those thoughts? And I'm talking about this in the situation where uve never been assaulted or abused before but then u suddenly do, i wonder how that'd work.

I also heavily agree with this:

some of us are not born in circumstances that are meant to build a healthy childhood, and with that in mind, some of us are bound to have horrid experiences and life lessons placed on our young, moldable minds. that's not anyone's fault, it is not and never will be your fault. always remember that whenever thinking about the law in correspondence to your childhood and other unfavorable times in your life.

Because I believe that it is VERY important to keep this in mind as to not lead to self blaming.

I think that the community has a massive problem with victim blaming and solipsism (on a lesser note) bc some of y'all sound so incredibly egotistical and narcissistic when it comes to the law and eiypo talking about how u can just "delete" someone from reality if they do smth u don't like/agree with like blud......

Honestly when I enter the void and manifest a good belief and knowing the truth about how everything works I doubt that I'll believe in the law as much as I currently do.

(Sorry if I've been sending too many asks. I've been giving the opportunity to express my opinions and beliefs in the law in such an accepting space and am getting talkative, lol)

(Who knows maybe I'll even dm u on my account so we can talk with eachother privately)

I spent a while thinking about this, not just because it's a sensitive topic but also because I didn't want this post to be taken as victim-blaming or any of that sort. It's not that it's part of my answer, I'm meaning to say that traumatic experiences aren't your fault, especially S.A, assault, and abuse.

I know that there have been loassumption bloggers (not just bloggers but on YT as well) that blame victims for their abuser's actions just because of EIYPO but I found an answer that doesn't take this route. And to me, this answer makes more sense.

CW: There will be a lot of mentions about the 3 words above so if you feel like you can't digest such a deep dive into a sensitive topic you feel triggered by, I suggest you pass by this post and take a breather. You'll be all right &lt;3

reminder: this is my take on this, feel free to correct me constructively. This also felt more of a ramble so this may seem incoherent to some.

Hello ‼️ anon! To answer your question, yes, I do think that chai's belief still applies but in a different way. My main 2 theories include thought patterns and programming.

~~~ I forgot the exact saying so I'll just describe them to you. You know those things people say a lot as a precaution? Well, at least how I view it. Like, For how others would say you can't trust any men, always be careful when passing by a certain street, always bring pepper spray, etc.

I feel like that would tie into chai's belief. It's like your surroundings programming your subconscious about the said things. And those sayings would fruit into bigger things and into different categories of beliefs about people, your household, your workplace, etc.

Such as "Wo/Men are mean" -> "Wo/Men cannot be trusted" -> "Wo/Men just always break my heart every time..." -> "Wo/Men are cruel and only use you..." all of that.

You see the thought pattern?

Now, the question is: "Was this all your doing?" The simple answer is no. As Chai has said before, these are things forcefully manifested to you by your environment. It wasn't you feeding those things to your mind, it was your environment that programmed your subconscious how to view your world. But how? Danger has always been there, bad things has always been there, it all existed there. It may have been programmed to you in a way that you feel so close to it/more possible for it to happen to you. (in my exp!! emphasis on my experience!!)

"like let's say when they're in their 20s or 30s or sum',.... And I'm talking about this in the situation where uve never been assaulted or abused before but then u suddenly do, i wonder how that'd work."

Oh-kay, let's say for the sake of your question, the assault suddenly happens, I'm going back to the whole "if you don't have an assumption about someone you don't know, eiypo does not apply." And to the "simple thoughts fruit into bigger things into different categories." As for the abuser part, I still feel like I don't have a good answer for that, theoretical or not. So, I'd rather not share it since I am still thinking deeply about it while considering various factors.

★ ending note Chai's beliefs still applies to this in the approach of thought programming and patterns. It is ONCE AGAIN, important to note that YOU did NOT manifest these unfavorable situations/circumstances. These beliefs, programming, and thought patterns, DIDN'T START WITH YOU. It was either your environment or merely the free will of the people that they shouldn't abuse. It's not your fault, and it never will be.

Honestly when I enter the void and manifest a good belief and knowing the truth about how everything works I doubt that I'll believe in the law as much as I currently do.

That honestly sounds so interesting! If you don't mind, I'd like it if you expand on this because this just turns up curiosity level to a high level. :DD

[brick-a-doodle-do]

Brick, ramble about something, really, just ramble about anything.

okay so i have an alien au that i really haven't talked about at all except with xyz, and i think it'd be cool to introduce and talk about!!

soo basically the au is found family but not in a sense of found family, but he found another family that's worlds better than the one he had, and the dynamics of said family are more likee friendship-y? it's just the family you chose (friends) over the family you were born into. i cannot think of a way to describe it 😭

ANYWAYS

have a lil sample of the plot outline!

phil and techno, tommy's father and adopted older brother, both got accepted into a version of nasa that specializes specifically in the study of planets, including traveling to them. tommy didn't apply because it didn't interest him, and even if it did, he was far too young. so naturally, interplanetary travel took up a lot of his family's time, leaving tommy at home to take care of himself.

so, jealous, tommy did the only logical thing, and followed emduo to their work! and....broke into the facility.

during his exploration, he ran into wilbur, a mini-giant who's going to be travelling to the same planet as phil and techno. and who also just so happens to accept tommy's request that he be taken along! tommy of course added in a few lies about his age and maybe said his family allowed it, and definitely used persuasion and a little guilt tripping, but nonetheless, wilbur accepted. tommy would be going to another planet! to finally see what the big deal was.

time comes for the day of their departure, and tommy again follows emduo to work, meeting up with wilbur immediately after.

the trip is excruciatingly long and a little jarring to him, a virgin to space travel, but it gets done. so now, tommy's given permission by wilbur to go exploring the planet. it's pretty. scarce, but pretty.

while looking around, tommy comes across a waterfall, which he immediately drops all the technology wilbur gives him to go explore within the water. it feels....weird, much different than the water on earth. that aside, he missteps and accidentally slips into a hole that'd been previously covered by (haven't figured that out yet) and plummets down, down, down, down into a beautiful underground civilization. the only downside? a giant alien-esque being walks by, and tommy knows he's royally fucked when he remembers there's no way out. at least he landed in something soft!

meanwhile back at the campsite with wilbur, their clocks say dusk is nearing. he doesn't think too much of tommy's absence, given that his curfew was a little bit after dusk and that this entire place was huge, it was easy to get a little lost, but as half past his required hour passes, he starts worrying. he's getting anxious when he hears emduo talking about tommy, so anxious he almost lets his fuckup slip. he goes to bed, hoping for tommy to be in his tent, alive and sleeping, as soon as dawn hits.

but he isn't. and to say he's lonely and scared is the complete opposite of what he is. he's acquired a lovely bundle of friends while amongst the pretty town.

pretty fun!! i actually made a doodle for this au and would be totally cool with making one of those pages, because alien designs are one of the more flexible character designs! the doodle i made i'm 90% sure is deleted by now but it was of dream's face and i am SOOOOO proud of it like it's SO cool OH MY GOD x came up with it and i added some things and OH MY GODDDD ASJDFFDSAFJASJFJAS i cannot express my love for dream's face design in this au :)

the au (apart from wilbur growing guiltier by the second) is primarily fluffy with only 1 angsty part i already have planned out :D me and x did talk about this a lot so i can probably bring some of that to the surface :D

aHHHHHH i'm typing and deleting so much stuff bc in don't wanna give away too muchhhh ADJVFJD

i'll cut myself off here!! but i do have MUCH more to say!!! questions are always welcome, i'll def answer the ones that don't give away too much :DD

i think this is my third day in a row introducing a new au or set of aus. what the fuck is wrong with me ??? i'm like a hoarder but instead of random crap it's minecraft block men fanfiction universes that occasionally are sprinkled with g/t and vore 😭

[you-can-reclaim-your-crown]

i understand you completely! it's the same for me except i'm a native english speaker lmao. but the fact that you're willing to write a story in english despite it being your 3rd language is already an impressive feat, you should be proud! here's a protip in case you need it, consider searching these terms if you find yourself unable to properly convey your thoughts into your writing: (insert word or phrase here) synonym, (insert word or phrase here) definition, (insert word or phrase here) antonym. don't worry about it though really, i do think that art is challenging and difficult to create - be it drawing, writing or videos - it does require a lot of practice and studying to be able to reach a certain level of skill but it doesn't matter as long as you keep trying and giving your best! at the end of the day, more than anything else i think effort is of the utmost importance and it'll definitely reflect in one's works. i'm wishing you the best and i look forward to what you have in store <3 will you be posting it on ao3? the mods will add it to the sukugoweek collection if you tag your work with sukugoweek2023. i found out that they'll be accepting submissions until january 3rd so there's still plenty of time left! if you wish to post more than 1 fic, please feel free to do so too. they also just added a special prompt for gojo's birthday, you might want to use it if the opportunity arises haha. aw it's no problem, i'm happy to know that i was able to help you in some way <3 yes i feel you, these bitches had me in a chokehold since 2021 when i first got into jjk! it's going to be my 3rd year of brainrot soon in a couple of months, time flies so fast...

You really do say the sweetest things🫶🏻 i get a little message like this and i feel so happy it's almost embarrassing.

Languages are so weird.

How are "English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though."

And

"Gore gore gore gore"(croatian) even real?? Whoever decided this: buddy, you blew it. Super hard. Complete buffoonery.

Special prompt you say..🤔 it does give me some ideas...

i might have underestimated how long this is going to be. My plan was a one shot and a little bonus chapter/epilogue-ish thing. But we will see. Maybe i have to split the main chapter.

I think i started to ship them around October 27th, so I'm a sukugo baby. It's the first gojo ship I'm really invested in. I'm fond of nanago but it's just that.

(Shout-out to 0bstinate for this one sukugo on 'it is not enough to love you' post. That really got my gears turning... you're a hero)

And then it his my lika a truck. They have everything I'm into: enemies-to-lovers, honoured/fallen one, red+blue, canabilism as love language (bc i like them a little fucked up), monsterfuckery, i hate everyone but you, unhinged x unhinged, corruption/redemption etc. let's be honest their fight was basically foreplay. Archenemies? Kinda gay if you ask me.

Aaaand I'm rambling again😅sorry

But to answer your question: yes I'm going to post in on ao3. Because fuck anxiety, we are so back bitches. And I'm a people pleaser and you encouraged me, so you are my people to please. Sorry buddy but you are not getting out of it now.

Anyway my reply is probably a bit all ower the place. I didn't sleep well, I'm tired and i accidentally deleted my reply before so i had to typ it again.

I really really appreciate that you took your time and wrote me❤️ thank you from the bottom of my heart

[valyrfia]

hey hey! how are you? ☺️I was wondering how the second part of your lestappen soulmates au is going? (absolutely zero pressure i only ask bc i reread the first part yesterday and i still have so many questions and theories)💕it is a really good piece of writing and a very intriguing take on soulmate marks

*twirls hair* anon give me your theories (also did you know that i am literally in love with you)

i'll be honest the reason why it's taking so long is because i'm basically writing backwards. i've got the end scene, i've got some middle scenes but i'm struggling to link it to the first part in a flow that feels natural. i've got massive writer's block, to tell the truth. I also have found myself wanting to do justice to some secondary characters' journeys with their soulmarks (Daniel and the terrible sense of foreboding that is a McLaren on his wrist), so that's taking a bit longer. There's also a couple of deleted scenes I want to work back into the first part that I originally cut for pace but considering the second part is already going to be a lot longer.....well might as well add them back in. This might even end up being a three-parter. Honestly we'll see. But to alleviate your fears anon, this is my current word count for pt. 2

If you really loved the concept and are starved for more may I point you to the fic that inspired me: Amor Fati which has a very similar take on soulmarks. It's a marvel fic, but I would recommend!

[moriartyluver]

alright now that I’ve been reassured that rambling here is okay, ur not gonna hear the end of me hehe

back to fl being the embodiment of ‘the man’, im gonna do a silly little lyric analysis.

“they’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to” - i feel like fl would feel very trapped and stuff bc of marriage and how everyone criticised her high standards, even her parents who love her a lot. (also kinda basing some of these in the og version I found on quotev yesterday) and how she got so pissed that she burnt her parents letter about marriage.

“every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you”- HER WPRRY BEING THAT THE MORIARTY TEAM MUGHT NOT SEE HER AS KMPORTANT AS LIAM EVEN THO SHES JUST AS SMART IF NOT SMARTER. i can imagine moran or something not obeying a command and she just yells at him that she is his superior just as much as William is and everyone’s kinda surprised bc she lost her temper.

“When everyone believes ya What's that like? I'm so sick of running as fast as I can Wondering if I'd get there quicker If I was a man”- her whole little rivalry with William kinda being rooted in the fact that nobody views her accomplishments as big as his. in the og, she got that award or something but nobody cares as much as they did abt Liam’s award. i think she mainly hates him b cause to her, he represents how men are seen as superior in Victorian society

“They'd say I hustled Put in the work They wouldn't shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve What I was wearing If I was rude Could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves?“- again with the whole worry thing. Also the third line makes me think of the old male nobles gossiping abt fl and saying she probably only got a degree through bad stuff (I can totally see a rumour that she slept with a professor or something for good grades even tho the only Professor she’d ever sleep with would be William-) I feel like they might also make fun of her cultural clothes or slutshame her even if she were being modest bc the nobles are all jealous cows

“What's it like to brag about Raking in dollars And getting bitches and models And it's all good if you're bad And it's okay if you're mad If I was out flashing my dollars I'd be a bitch, not a baller They paint me out to be bad So it's okay that I'm mad”- she’s really rich but if she tried to flaunt but not actually flaunt her wealth. If she were a man, she’d be a successful businessman but she gets treated like a spoiled princess type instead.

honestly fl is giving me medea vibes but less cruel

-🦢

BRO I LOVE MEDEA SM. SUCH A GIRL BOSS ARGH. ALSO THIS ANALYSIS IS SO GOOD 😭 TRHNK U FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DO THIS

Her getting mad and losing her temper because of her insecurities or being disrespected is soo real. I might just steal that idea idk.

Forgot to delete the og of quotev bc I’ve not checked quotev in agessss but I might just leave it up until I can be bothered to rework it. I hated the original tho cus the pacing was all messed up and alot of the backstory that I was anger to add kept getting missed out so I’m trying to make the rework better now lol

Tbh I don’t think they’d directly make fun of her bc from what I understand is that in Victorian society, wealth still meant a lot and if fl was the daughter of a grand duke and had literal ties to the Queen, they wouldn’t dare say anything to her face and if a rumour like that got found out, they’d probably find a scapegoat to blame the rumour on (probably a fallen noble or something) I can see them being a bit xenophobic to her too because people of colour, although they were in high society, they never were as recognised and treated as well as white British nobles.

[daenerys-targaryen]

hey leah! how are you? hope you’re doing okay! <3

you’ve been on tumblr for a long while, haven’t you? i recently had to delete my blog bc some people i know irl found it and i just can’t deal with that lmao

at the same time i used to be a creator here YEARS ago before college/law school happened but now i finally graduated and i want to get back into it

anyway my question is and i’d love if you could expand on it - or not - you’re not obligated to answer this at all!!

what’s the best way for me to start from scratch and build a platform for my creations? i’ve been observing and i noticed tagging users is not much more affective than tagging the content itself? if so how does that work; can i tag anyone who lists the media i’m working on as an interest or do we have to be mutuals or literally what i’m losing my mind over this lmao i feel like such a millennial i used to rock this website

participate in events?? look for discord servers?? (where would i even find them 😩😩)? like anything guidance you could spare, no matter how obvious or simple i’d really appreciate <33

but again you seriously don’t have to!!! i wouldn’t want to pressure you or take up your time! just let me know 😊

have a great night!

Hi there anon! I'm doing well, thanks for asking!

I have been on here for quite some time, yes. Oh my gosh asdfjkl that's so scary! I hope you're doing okay after that ordeal.

I would say the best way to help circulate your creations and broaden your audience would be to 1) make lots of content, 2) join source blogs and 3) tag people in your creations.

Make lots of content: Even if you're new to gifing or editing, people will notice if you're making a lot of good content. I'm not sure what it is, but when I see a new blog or a person who I just wasn't aware of making tons of content, I want to follow them even if everything they post doesn't appeal to me because I want new content. The more you make content, the more if will be spread around and the more exposure you'll get.

Joining source blogs: There are tons and tons of source blogs that are looking for new members. Depending on what you're wanting to gif, (lord of the rings, stranger things, pedro pascal, skyrim, etc) you'd go to the explore page and look up 'pedro pascal' and you'd see posts made by pedrohub, for example. If you're not interested in gifing just one particular thing (movies, tv shows, video games, youtubers, podcasts etc) then you can also find and join blogs dedicated to everything. And I mean everything. For example, @stream, @chewbacca, @dailyflicks, @cinematv are all source blogs dedicated to just about everything. Find some source blogs you'd like to be part of, make sure to read the blog rules and boom! Your content is being shared to a whole new audience.

Tagging people in your creations: Similar to joining source blogs, best way to get your content reblogged by source blogs if you're not in them is to tag them. For example, @stream tracks '#userstream', @chewbacca tracks '#chewieblog', @dailyflicks tracks '#dailyflicks' and @cinematv tracks '#cinematv'. You can also find people also make content for the same thing and tag them too!

For sure participate in events! Join those discord servers! Most well ran source blogs (no shade to those who don't do this but it just makes everything fun and easier) will already have a discord server set up dedicated to the blog itself. It will have a general, rules and creations tab where you can discuss the blog, share your creations and also chat if it's that vibe of the server. Some might even have a spoilers tab, some might have a pets tab where you can send pictures of your pets. It really just depends on the kind of people are in the server and again, what the vibe is like. Some source blog discord servers I'm in are QUIET and are only active when someone is sharing their creations (which is just fine!) and some others are active every minute of the day. Again it just depends on who is in the server.

Also, just befriending someone who also makes the same content as you or someone who you admire in the fandom or someone who you'd just like to be friends with helps too! If you're friends with people in your fandom then obviously they're going to reblog your content if they want to! I'm not saying to make friends simply so that you get more notes on your creations, I hope that's clear. But I am saying that it certainly doesn't hurt :)

Hope this gave you some insight and good luck!