#also- i didn't see her for 8 years
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giving my little cousin uni tips like how to save money on food and whether an ensuite is worth the price etc etc but realising too late that she’s rich as hell and has no need to consider these things
#she's the only child of my dad's sister who married a man through a rich man dating agency#my dad's family was not well off and i really can't blame her#for giving her child the best possible life#after what she had growing up#but now my cousin is a proper private school girl with not a monetary care in the world and asking me for university help#as if our situations can be compared#and the things that matter to me will matter to her.#also- i didn't see her for 8 years#until my grandmother's funeral a year ago#we don't talk frequently#i can't say 'youve got a rich dad so do you actually want this kind of advice'#because i barely know her#i'm going to do my mechanics work now shdvchjg#that's easier than whatsapping my cousin#ramblings
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Christmas was great! c:
#hoping to wind down w some writing#also thinking about the rest of the week for work 😭🫠 I am not leadership material#hoping that we are still in a good spot so that when I hand the team back over to our new manager in two weeks he's in a good position#and doesn't have to rush or spend awhile chasing my mistakes. luckily we don't have a ton of projects bc Christmas time#we're just down a lot of people 😵💫 two full timers and a part timer. PLUS people in and out intermittently for vacations and whatnot#so our team of usually like a dozen is currently a team of like 6 or 7 depending on who's out when which is...not many#but!! idk. I was so stressed that my sister stopped by work yesterday to surprise me with lunch so I didn't spend it crying in my car#(which was really funny bc our brother ALSO came to have lunch with me LOL. we all ended up eating together)#idk!!! hopefully the rest of this week and all of next week goes smoother than this has bc I'm like really stressed abt leading us#probably more than is warranted. most of this stress is self imposed of “I HAVE to do a good job or everyone will be disappointed in me”#but the managers for our position from other stores have been helping out and so has my former boss which is very kind of them#I have to see if anybody from one of the two nearby stores has any extra of the signage we need...to do list for the morning#anyway sorry for the 8 million year tag ramble abt my job#my sister really liked the gift I got her which is great bc I've been excited to give it to her for months
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#sims#ts3#sims 3#photoshoots#character verse#brittany fletcher#listen she's an old legacy spare I completely forgot about until I dug her post out on valentine's#and was like wow she has potential#and I love her now#I still added her to the family as katherine's daughter and I will soon make her other parent#not terry. all my homies hate terry#jk but back in the old legacy from 8 years ago brittany's father was this random berry sim who I named. terry. just for shits and giggles#and I didn't even try at his appearance I just cloned someone from the family#also I see katherine as a lesbian now (more precisely ace lesbian) but even if she wasn't terry is a hard no lmao
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twice in less than 2 pages..... tolstoj sir i beg you ENOUGH with this pregnancy propaganda 😭😭😭
#also. how is what happens to a pregnant woman 'mysterious' in any way? i never understood it#i mean. maybe it was in the second half of nineteenth century but now? 'the mystery of life' no actually we all know how *that* happens#no mystery there. it's the simplest most basic thing in the world and the reason the human race still exists lmao#i know i know it's not literal but still. i understand saying it in tolstoy's times but now? in 2024? a bit too much don't you think?#anyway if i didn't listen to the great comet i would have really been afraid andrej was done for here#ik ik he's one of the protagonists tolstoj can't kill him so soon into the story#but it's the grrm effect i think#also. i'm REALLY curious to see how he and natasha meet and fall in love#because while he's still quite young he's married and on the verge of becoming a father while she's just 15#i guess he's like. 8 years older than she is? maybe 10?#and yes i know *spoilers for those who haven't read the book* he dies and then she marries pierre#who's about andrej's age so also older than her#still. i'm curious! natasha is such an extrovert bright sunny young thing#while andrej can look a bit haughty tho he's very good-hearted. he has the - how did tolstoj put it?#- l'orgoglio della ragione (the pride of reason)#i can see why pierre would fall in love with her. but andrej? that's interesting i guess#*alexa play no one else from tgc of 1812 please*#val reads w&p#val speaks#txt
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so crazy to me to think that i've been obsessed with neopets for 20 years...... this is sabrina, who was probably my first ever oc (or more like self-insert)!! it's so wild to see the one from today right next to the one from 2013. it feels like 2013 was just yesterday!!! 😭😭😭 i always think of myself as being really stagnant/ not improving much since high school, but it's really reassuring to see how much my art really has changed.
#neopets#neotag#neolodge#my art#my oc#yes i have two pets named sabrina and an oc named sabrina#what can i say 8 year old me had about five names she liked and that's IT#i'm actually not 100% positive her name is sabrina tho tbh????#i didn't write it down anywhere so i'm just like. guessing.#but i'm preeeetty sure her name is sabrina#anyways lol#i still kinda struggle with eyes and hands as u can see#but whatever!!! for a little 30 minute sketch i think it's okay!!#oh also i have NO idea what the hell her shirt is supposed to be. a dress shirt with the collar popped up???#one of those like windbreaker jacket thingies???#like a parka or whatever it's called????#idk but 8 year old me thought it was cute#and yknow what actually she was right#i was using the 2013 one for reference (obviously) and didn't look at the 2003 one until i put them all together#i kinda wish i had tho bc i love the bell sleeves on the original one#the 2013 outfit is really pretty much just my style now#but like the bell sleeves and bell bottom fit from 2003????#she's serving
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As a Kpop fan now, if you've been here since at least 2021/2022ish~ you've outlived 2 apps. V Live and Universe, congrats, you don't get anything, but you can say you've outlived them.
#congrats on outliving two apps#rip universe app#rip vlive#the reason i say 2021 is because vlive has been dying since at least January 2021 - we no longer had vlive+ but i can't remember when#they deactivated that feature but wild#universe down#as a uni (ptg stan) this is the funniest tag i've gotten to say#i'd say dance on their graves but vlive was such a queen and we lost her- i loved her- she made my days easier... i would watch vlives in#class all the time- and now we can't- and we got so many good things from universe even if it didn't mean physical releases- it was still#nice- we had sth similar to bubble and we could talk to our idols ( i didn't do this but i loved seeing the translations on twt )#hybe is seeing each app as a cash grab and i cry sometimes- i can't forgive them- but anyways enough about that-#i feel like a fossil lowkey- it's not often i feel like a fossil in the kpop community but 8 yrs this year def takes a toll on your bones-#will i forever be keeping the uni app and vlive app? yes- they will forever live rent free- i will miss these eras as a kpop stan#achievement#outliving#congratulations#i've had this queued since feb. 17th when the messages from idols officially ended- it's so sad esp cause kyunbebes will have no access#to talking to him if starship finds a new way to make a new app because they won't include him 😭 i hope by the time this queues sony#comes up with a solution and treats our boy right- also ever think about all the idols that enlisted beforehand? like vlive died while they#were serving!? it's so sad- anyways i'm done rambling- pls enjoy this queued post#queued post#yes the app doesnt officially close til 5/31 @ 4 am et- but the messages being gone = huge loss#sorry besties- i seriously am gonna miss both apps i already grieved the former 😔
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please look up dental schools/dental hygiene programs in your area. most schools have a low cost dental clinic and can help, because oral pain and loose teeth like you’re describing absolutely isn’t typical of patients in their 20s
I'm actually super touched that you sent me this, what a caring message 💛 I'll definitely look into this altho if it helps settle any concern I am due to get dental benefits soon! You have to have worked a certain number of hours at my job before you qualify for benefits (including dental) and I'm almost at that point and so hopefully I'll be able to get my teeth sorted soon. But in the meanwhile I'll do some looking into nearby dental schools.
#anonymous#genuinely very sweet of u to reach out#see the issue is#ive had pretty severe mental health issues since i was 8 years old and they've only gotten worse over time#plus i wss a latchkey kid so i didn't rly get hounded about tooth brushing as much as i should've when i was little#and my mom was a single mom and unemployment semi frequently so i didn't have dental benefits through her consistently#it's unfortunately a long standing issue but hopefully once i reach the benefits threshold#I'll be able to make a serious dent (hehe) in my dental issues!#also this isn't me making fun#but DEEPLY funny to post a medical issue so concerning#that people on tumblr are like bro get your life together 🙏
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babysat my niece all day and it went really well! we spent most of it on the trampoline, just shooting the shit
#it feels weird saying i have an easier time conversing with an 8 year old than i do with my parents#but. i do lol#maybe its just because she's 8 so she's less judgy in a lot of ways#or because i don't have that anxiety about disappointing or annoying her by 'saying the wrong thing' that i have with my parents#maybe both#she's a sweet kid though she's very fun#she told me we were playing truth or dare and she kept picking truth because she wanted to keep talking ajdjsk#im not good at improv so i had to look at list of questions on teen vogue#but we had a lot of fun today! its a miracle i didn't get a sunburn#mickey.txt#OOH also her birthday was recently and she got a boxset of the first 7 volumes of the original pokemon manga#its in the japanese format so i had to teach her the right to left thing and panel order#she had more trouble remembering to flip the pages the 'opposite' way but she got the hang of it pretty quickly#she got through the first couple of chapters of volume one#idk im just giddy that she's taking to it#its fun seeing her expand her horizons#plus its the kanto region so nostalgia has me in a chokehold lol
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When I was a wee little child I really liked to sing, and for a short period there was a specific song that i would sing all the time and for reasons I didn't understand my mom would always gently discourage me from singing that specific song around others, although that didn't stop me. On one memorable occasion my moms old friend was visiting and I decided to sing it to her and I didn't get what she found so funny and why she also tried to discourage me singing that song in public.
It was only years later that I would realize the implications of singing "I wanna see your peacock cock cock, your peacock cock cock".
#childhood stories#i was so innocent back then#the song was peacock by katy perry#my mom really tried her best to gently tell me that the song was inappropriate without actually telling me the song was inappropriate#but little probably autistic me didn't get it#and also because i am me if i'm not given a reason why i shouldn't do something i just won't listen#like even if my mom straight up told me the song was inappropriate unless she explained how it's inappropriate i wouldn't have listened#i was probably around like 8 or so when this happened#just imagine an 8 year old singing i wanna see your peacock cock cock over and over again
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local introverted librarian weirdly good at making friends, somehow. it's great, it's just funny to me.
#fun fact. he had a matesprit in his very first incarnation#but she belonged my ex best friend I have not spoken to in 8 years lmao#now I don't really know what his type is tbh. but Lurini was really smart. blind engineer(?) I think but her psiionics helped her see.#didn't put up with shit but had a good sense of humor#she also had albinism. which is why this version of Hazard can't bring himself to hate mutants#a little echo of the version of himself he once was.
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So a while ago some friends were talking about fans who claim the Same Coin theory is canon. And I made the mistake of saying:
Do you know who also has tons in common with Bill? Mabel. Yet nobody claims Bill reincarnated as Mabel. …wait now I want a "same coin but it's Mabel" AU. Funniest Bill reincarnation option. The all-seeing arsonist is making macaroni glitter art. The omnipotent tyrant is crying because a unicorn called her a bad person.
And then I overthought it for two months.
So—AU where after death, Bill's soul shoots 13 years into the past and reincarnates as Mabel. I'll call it ✨ Sparkly Coin AU ✨
Don't leave yet. Lemme show you why it works. Behold the eerie amount of parallels in their personalities, dialogue, behavior, mannerisms, tastes...
I could have kept going but my attention span ran out. All right, we all on board now? Convinced we could segue from one personality into the other? Great. Now here's why you should be interested: the juicy post-Weirdmageddon angst potential.
As long as a small fringe of the fandom still thinks Weirdmageddon is Mabel's fault, why not amp that up x100 and have some fun with it?
Is everyone sold now? Great. Let's get into the details. I've got 8 more pieces of art under the read more.
So the AU starts the instant Bill dies. Thanks to invoking his deal with the Axolotl—one way to absolve his crime, a different form, a different time—the Axolotl gives him a new shape and shoots him thirteen years into the past. Apparently, the Axolotl thought it would be very funny to stick Bill in the family that defeated him.
Which probably made for a jarring transition.
(It's fine, she's like 10 minutes old, she probably can't even tell who she's looking at. Not being able to tell who she was looking at is what got her into this situation ayyyy)
When Dipper & Mabel come back from Gravity Falls complaining about this triangular jerk Bill, their parents mention that Dipper's name was nearly Bill. See, after they knew they were going to have a boy, one night their mom dreamed about a visitor—some kind of magic pink salamander??—calling her child "BILL." Then at the next sonogram they found out they were having twins, the girl must've been hidden at a weird angle the first time, and they wanted matching names, so they thought, Bill and Bell. But they didn't really like Bell; but eventually they stumbled on Mabel, so to keep the names matching they switched from Bill to Mason. Isn't that the darnedest thing?
(Of course, Mabel and Dipper assume Bill harassed their parents to try to trick them into naming a kid after him. To be a jerk.)
When Bill meets Mabel, he's unaware that she's his future self—Bill's notably bad at doing things like, say, double-checking to see whether he's going to die anytime soon—but like... he can tell something's up.
Naturally, before visiting Gravity Falls, there were echoes of who Mabel used to be—but nothing anyone would be able to identify without context. All her Bill-ish quirks either smoothed out with time (see: how between second grade and fourth grade Mabel went from being the "freak" to the popular girl in class), or else they were accepted by her family as Mabel-ish quirks.
After they meet (and kill) Bill, they have the context to understand some of Mabel's behaviors... and unfortunately, some of Mabel's latent Bill-ness starts surfacing after she's been directly exposed to her prior incarnation.
The part of the Pines family familiar with Bill thinks the worst case scenario is that maybe Bill's survived and is slowly possessing Mabel; but far more likely, they think this is just some weird way of trying to subconsciously process last summer. Mabel doesn't think she's being weird, you guys are being weird, stop giving her weird looks. They get attacked by one triangle and now she can't wear yellow or pick up macrame as a hobby??
(It's not all red flags and uncomfortable triangle imagery, though. When Stan asks her what she'd like as a gift for some important event, she shyly admits that she thinks she's starting to outgrow her plastic gem jewelry and maybe she's old enough to get her first piece of real gold jewelry, if that's not too expensive? And Stan's never been so proud of her. Thirteen years old and already thinking about buying gold!)
But of course, the real fun starts when Mabel finds out.
That's the face of a girl who's just discovered that she tortured her great uncle. Now imagine running into the brother she possessed.
But I've already spent a million words and thirteen images on this post. If enough folks are interested in the AU maybe I'll expand on it later. Let me know what y'all think.
#mabel pines#bill cipher#gravity falls#gravity falls au#gravity falls fanart#sparkly coin au#my art#my writing#(here's that AU I've been taunting y'all with)
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Co Parents To Lovers Again (part 1)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader
Warnings: angst, fluff, smut
"Daddy? Can I ask you something?" Your and Charles' four-year-old daughter Louise, asks.
She was sitting in her car seat in the backseat of Charles car while he was driving her back to your place in Monaco. It was Sunday evening, the weekend was coming to an end and with that, Charles' time with his daughter for the week was also over.
"Of course, cherie. What is it?" He asked, briefly looking away from the road in front of him to look at his daughter behind him.
"When are you going to live with me and mommy again?" She asked innocently batting her big black eyelashes and waiting for an answer.
Charles's heart broke a little when he heard. This was the first she had asked him that since Charles had moved out of your shared apartment a year ago, and there was no way he could have prepared himself for this question.
"Oh, baby.." He sighed sadly with a pain in his chest. "I-I don't know. Maybe one day again, I hope.."
"But I want you to live with us now. I don't like it when you have to leave us."
He really didn't know what to say to her. He didn't even know how to explain the situation you found yourself in to himself, let alone to her. He could see Louise whenever he wanted, but this was some kind of agreement that the two of you had and most often it was that you had her during the week and he had her on his race-free weekends even tho sometimes he took her with him on races as well. So moments like this, when Sunday night comes and he has to return Louise to you by next Friday, were the hardest for him.
"I know, baby. I do too, it's just that at the moment, that's not possible, you know?" He said quietly tightening his grip on the steering wheel and leaning his head on the back of the seat.
"But mommy wants you to live with us too. I don't understand why don't you then?"
"Wh-what?" His breath paused briefly as he looked at Louise in the rearview mirror. "How do you know that, Lou?"
"Well, I asked her?" She sighs almost rolling her eyes at him, like, duhh how else would I know it?
"You asked her?" He chuckles. "And what did she say?"
"She said the same thing as you, maybe one day again. But I want to know when!" She says already irritated with always the same answer to her always the same question.
"Well, my love, if mom really said that, then I hope very soon." Charles says smiling, hope clearly audible in his voice. He wanted you to reconcile and be a family again so much that even this was enough to lift his spirits and restore hope in your relationship.
The drive to your apartment is over and soon Charles is knocking on your door holding Lou in his arms.
"Hello, baby!" You say excitedly as you opened the door, reaching out to Lou to take her in your arms.
"Hello" Charles greets you smiling.
"Hey, Charles" You greet him back taking Lou in your arms and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "How was the weekend? Was she good?"
"Of course, as always. We went to get new toys, her grand-mère came to visit and then we went for a walk and for ice cream. It was a lot of fun." Charles says.
"You got new toys, missy? Again?" You ask tickling her and making her laugh. "Good, good. Well, thanks for bringing her back."
"It's no problem. The next weekend is the race weekend so unfortunately I won't be able to have her."
"I know, I know." You say biting the inside of your cheek feeling a bit bad knowing how hard that was for him. "Are you gonna say bye to papa?"
"Can papa put me to bed?" Louise asked.
"But it's only 8:30 baby? You wanna go to sleep already?"
"But I want daddy to do it." She says.
You were a little taken aback because you felt like she didn't want you to do it like you usually do, but of course you didn't want to deny her her wish for Charles to be the one to do it this time.
"Well, if he wants to, then sure" You say looking at him.
"Of course I want to. Come here, baby" He takes her back from your arms kissing her temple and starts walking with her to her room.
You didn't follow them because you decided to let them have a moment for themselves, but you couldn't help but remember the nights you and Charles used to do it together. Him on one side of the bed, you on the other, Lou in the middle while Charles reads a bedtime story and you both listen.
You really missed that.
You really missed him.
But it was hard for you to admit it so you swallowed your tears once again and pretended it didn't bother you.
And so while Charles was putting your daughter to sleep, you occupied yourself with sorting the laundry that was left over from earlier today in your bedroom. After about half an hour, Charles came to greet you goodbye knocking on the door frame of your bedroom.
"Hey"
"Oh, hey. Did she fall asleep?" You asked.
"Yeah, she-" His attention was soon caught by an oversized black man's hoodie that was turned inside out and lying on your bed. His gaze was glued to it, and for a moment you weren't sure what he was looking at, so you looked in that direction too.
"I can't believe it" He sneered in disappointment.
"What?"
"Are you really having someone else here in our bedroom when Lou is with me?"
"Excuse me? What? What are you-" You were shocked and stunned by his accusations.
It was indeed a man's hoodie. But since it was turned inside out, Charles didn't recognize that it was actually his sweatshirt that he had forgotten to take when he moved out, and you loved it so much that you never wanted to give it back to him. And Charles being Charles, he jumped to a conclusion without letting you have a chance to speak and explain yourself.
"I can't believe it, y/n. You could have at least let me know that you decided to move on and see other people." He continued without stopping and anger slowly rose within you. "And how can you even bring him here? To our apartment? To our bedroom?"
You were offended and you didn't even want to justify yourself anymore, you just wanted to hurt him back because he thought such a thing.
"And why do you care if someone was here, huh?" You asked crossing your arms.
"Why do I care? Because while you're busy having other guys over here, our daughter is asking me if we'll ever live together again. That's why!" He said angrily, barely holding back from slamming his fist against the wall because he was so hurt by this situation and the very thought of you being with someone else.
"S-she asked you that?"
"Yes and I almost died when she did."
You didn't know what to do at that moment. You were sad and angry at the same time, but most of all hurt for your daughter. Before you could say anything, Charles turned and left the room.
As soon as the apartment door closed, you burst into tears. He left before you could tell him that it was actually his hoodie and that at nights when you can't sleep, like you couldn't last night, you put it on because it feels like he's there.
He didn't even give you time to tell him that you wear it when you miss him too much. Just like you did last night.
part 2
#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1#f1 x reader#f1 scenario#f1 smut#f1 x female reader#f1 one shot#f1 blurb#f1 imagine#f1 fluff#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc
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A thousand times yes! This gave me so much to think about. Specifically, your point about how his name represents his old self/identity is very interesting to me, given what we see from him with Cosette towards the end of the novel.
I find it striking that Valjean tells Cosette to refer to him as "Monsieur Jean," out of all things. It makes sense that, because of his conversation with Marius and their belief that he must be cut out of Cosette's life, he wouldn't allow her to call him "Father." And, even though he literally has a full, sobbing breakdown in front of Marius when it seems like Cosette will find out about his past (the only time we see him cry in front of someone else, I'm pretty sure?), he doesn't go by Fauchelevent to her. Cosette likely would've found that less unusual, since we see her refer to him as "my father Fauchelevent" quite naturally, and it would make sense that Valjean would want to minimize her suspicions. But his great denied desire, as he expresses to Marius, is to be a part of a family; that's exactly what he felt he couldn't do as Fauchelevent. Keeping that name would mean he would always be worried that "the mask would suddenly be torn away," and he would be driven out as a monster. He wants to be accepted and loved for who he truly is, and while this isn't by any means complete honesty, in confessing to Marius and dropping the alias with Cosette, maybe he feels a little closer to what he's longed for.
There's also the social and metatextual significance of having Cosette call him "Monsieur Jean." First, in dropping his alias (which supplied Cosette's maiden name), he further severs any perceptible social tie between the two of them. "Jean," as you mentioned above, is a homonym of gens, which is fitting, since JVJ views himself as having become "just another person" to Cosette. And yet, calling him by his first name indicates some level of familiarity; social norms at the time meant that formal address used the last name. "Monsieur Jean" is oddly straddling the line between distant and personal (as Valjean himself is attempting to do).
Maybe most interesting of all is that, as many have noticed, Hugo almost exclusively refers to JVJ by his full name, Jean Valjean. This is one of the only instances in which the last name is dropped, which is part of why it stood out so much on my readthrough. It feels noticably more intimate, but also incomplete. And I think it ties into what (as you mentioned above) his last name means: "voilà Jean/gens": "behold the man." He's not ready for Cosette to know the full truth about who he is, so narratively, it's fitting that the withheld last name (which would allow her to learn about his past) is one which itself references a full and raw perception. It was first used of the suffering Christ, naked and humiliated and condemned and innocent; Valjean, in his fear and self-loathing, does not allow that revelation of himself.
Les Mis Hidden Name Meanings: Jean Valjean
Every Les Mis character’s name is either a pun or has some deep symbolic meaning– or both at once! Jean Valjean’s name has a ton of layers so let’s dive in.
When we’re first introduced to him, Hugo tells us that his name is quote “a contraction of voilà Jean, or “here is Jean.”” We’re told that he was named after his father, and that his family name probably began as a nickname.
The word “Jean” in french sounds like the word “gens,” which means “people.” So his last name is a pun meant to make you think “viola les gens”/ “here are people.”
The most obvious layer to his name is that Jean Valjean is basically John Doe. He is the anonymous Everyman. His sister’s name is Jeanne, so she’s basically Jane Doe. They aren’t special or exceptional or unusual; they’re just behold! The regular people.
In fact his name is so common-sounding that it's a plot point. Champmathieu, the man who is mistaken for Jean Valjean, has a name that the police connect with his. Javert theorizes that "Champ" is a version of "Jean" in a specific accent, while Mathieu was actually Jean Valjean's sister's maiden name. ("Champ" is also the French word for "field.") The fact that Jean Valjean is a peasant everyman makes it easy for others in his position to be conflated with him.
But the other layer is that this is all an elaborate pun biblical reference!
When Pontius Pilate presents a bound Jesus Christ to the crowd before his crucifixion, he says the words “ecce homo” or “Here is the man!”/”behold the man!”
“Voila Jean” or “here is Jean!”/”behold Jean!” is meant to be a reference to that.
During his death scene Jean Voila-Jean even references the “Ecce homo” line explicitly, gesturing at a crucifix and saying:
“Voilà le grand martyr.”
Which Isabel Hapgood translates as “behold the great martyr.”
At another point in the same scene Marius says to Cosette:
“He has sacrificed himself. Viola l’Homme. Behold the man.”
But more references to that biblical moment appear throughout the novel; Jean Valjean is associated with it constantly, all the time. It’s one of his defining biblical allusions. He’ll be trying to live anonymously, or under an alias– and then suddenly his true name and criminal past will be revealed, he’ll be revealed to be ‘the man,’ and some great horrible act of martyrdom will follow.
Sometimes Jean Valjean is the one revealing his own identity, but sometimes Inspector Javert is put into the role of Pontius Pilate. Javert himself explicitly makes that comparison– Jean Valjean as Jesus, Javert as Pontius Pilate– when he’s contemplating suicide.
And this ties into one of the largest differences between the book and the stage musical.
In the musical, “prisoner 24601” is the name that represents Jean Valjean’s dehumanization–while “Jean Valjean” is the name he uses while standing up for his own humanity. He will be called 24601, and proudly declare that “my name is Jean Valjean” to assert he’s still a person.
And while this is a great storytelling choice, it’s almost the opposite of how the name “Jean Valjean” is handled in the book.
Because in the book…. Jean Valjean IS the name that dehumanizes him. Jean Valjean is the name that he’s running from. The name that Javert uses when he’s insulting him, the name that bigots use when they’re threatening him, the name that ignorant people use when they’re mocking him – it’s not 24601, it’s Jean Valjean.
And there’s a special kind of agony to that.
The name that is being used to torture, humiliate, and dehumanize him isn’t 24601– it’s his name.
He thinks of it as a “fatal name,” as a punishment. Living under that name is living in hell. When Jean Valjean is living under one of his aliases, concealing his identity, he thinks:
That which he had always feared most of all in his hours of self-communion, during his sleepless nights, was to ever hear that name {jean Valjean] pronounced; he had said to himself, that that would be the end of all things for him; that on the day when that name made its reappearance it would cause his new life to vanish from about him, and—who knows?—perhaps even his new soul from within him.
It’s no wonder that he ends up internalizing the way society views him, and developing so much fear and hatred of himself. He’s grown to see his name as just….well, ecce homo, behold the man. His name is just the two words people say before they violently punish him.
Names and namelessness are a major theme in Les Mis, and he’s the character who has the most complex relationship with his own names. He has a legal name, but it’s used to torture him, and he has a series of false names he uses to escape torture.
If I were to describe Jean Valjean– one of the most complex characters in all of literature, in one word, that word would be “grief.”
The criminal justice system takes everything from him, including things he wasn’t aware he was able to lose. His name, the last connection he had to his family and his old identity, gets warped into this thing needs to view with fear and horror. The thing society despises isn’t 24601, isn’t a number they’ve placed on him – the thing they despise is Jean Valjean, some intrinsic inherent part of himself. He isn’t hated for what he did, he’s hated for what he is, and that is something he can never escape.
{But speaking of complexity we’ve actually barely scratched the surface of how Jean Valjean reacts to names, because he spends most of the novel living under a series of nicknames aliases. And guess what! Each of these names also has some elaborate symbolic meaning! If you’re interested in more posts covering his different aliases, feel free to leave a comment in the replies!}
[thanks for reading! For more in-depth analysis, check out the @lesmisletters readalong or join our discord server!]
#my ultimate favorite posts#and also!! it kills me that cosette AND MARIUS *DO* find him innocent as soon as he's honest about ALL of who he is!#i mean what cosette knows is likely still minimal at that point but it would not matter. and marius is like BRO WHY DIDN'T YOU MENTION THIS#and jvj (props for genuine honest self-awareness‚ uncommon for him) is like 'well if i told you you would've let me stay'#which. there's a whole commentary in there about how his past crimes DID define him until marius decided he deserved it--#he had to earn forgiveness otherwise marius would have let him die alone which is CRAZY to me and makes me so angry but anyway#all i'm saying is if jvj was strong enough to face both his weakness and his virtue then he would find acceptance for all of it#at least from his loved ones. the whole societal aspect is definitely worth considering but for now i'm thinking of his deathbed#the whole ending is hugo saying yes‚ he is loved‚ and YES‚ he COULD have been loved more fully and for much longer#if he had let himself be honest instead of driving himself away‚ if he had COMMUNICATED WITH COSETTE AND GIVEN HER A CHOICE FOR GOD'S SAKE#he absolutely could have lived for many happy years together with the family he always wanted to be a part of. and that's why it's tragic#he seems conflicted on what role fear of society/the law plays for him in his withdrawal‚ and to be fair‚ i think it's somewhat a part of i#especially with marius acting as the personification of that force‚ which jvj even stands up to a bit before leaving his 'confession'#but i think the ultimate point is that individuals‚ and the society they comprise (marius explicitly represents this) will not remain unjus#hugo's writing this as an ode to progress. cajoling it‚ almost. if jvj had trusted that those who loved him would have accepted him--#he could have survived and lived out the full length of his days happy and loved. that's what hugo wants us to recognize#he even has jvj say that god was like 'do you think you are going to be abandoned‚ idiot?' (affectionate...?) which. yeah i know that voice#the whole thing is that people that you love won't leave you because you are forgiven. that's what the great martyr was all about.#'there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in christ jesus.' romans 8:1#and even though les mis is about the many ways that that does NOT hold true in the wider world‚ it's also about how it SHOULD be#and how‚ on an individual level‚ it often is‚ if only we have faith enough to let it. after all:#'to love another person is to see the face of God.'#les mis#les miserables#jean valjean#quality meta seal of approval#kay has a party in the tags#kay is a classical literature nerd#meta#piggybacking
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actually addendum to that too: you can dislike specific people in the lolita community, and you don’t even have to have a moral justification to do so! you can just dislike them because you don’t like their coords or the kinds of youtube videos they make or because the way they talk annoys you like! it is the human right to be a hater!
but you can also do that without sending them gore or telling them to kill themselves or asking your followers to do so on your behalf after you (rightfully) get reported for doing so! its actually quite amazing that that is the case, did you know?
#note#like i dont like lovely lor (or at least her content in the past 7-8 years) and ive been very open about it with my friend groups#more recently ive had more reasons having to do with her ethics in regards to sponsorships and how she markets lolita#specifically to newcomers#but like. before that? i just didn't like her vibes!#and thats fine!#but i also wasnt like. sending her the text equivalent of fucking anthrax#i just kind of shrug and make a face if i see her in a coord i dont like and move on with my life like a normally functioning adult#bc its not that serious
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been rewatching rtte
toothless is called T multiple times, but the letter T doesn't exist in the alphabet of this world
i think hiccup was also called H???
hiccup went to the wedding of the man who tried to kill him and his family multiple times. no wonder he thought he could change drago's mind
snotlout is canonically a theater kid
"you're so small and cuddly" "please never say that again"
the twins are really smart, but they're also just stupid
hiccup straight up disappears when he's working on something
heather had a super noticeable crush on astrid
fishlegs got a love interest!! a plus size main character actually has a cool, badass love interest!
it was super hetnormative but it was cute
there was an island full of flying women who were implied to regularly commit cannibalism
hiccup taught all the riders how to fly with toothless, that's so sweet
everyone is a flat earther except for the twins
hiccup almost directly killed a lot of people
and killed a LOT more when destroying their ships
“scalding– cal..ding--" "toothle, plama bla!" was pretty much the funniest part of the entire series
dagur was bullied as a kid by a guy 8 years older than him who literally tattooed an imagine of him beating up little dagur in his arm??? What was that all about
actually we need to talk about how messed up everything about dagur is and about how the things that could've/did happen(ed) to him may be the reasons why he's Like That
just why was he imprisoned by the outcasts??? he didn't do anything to them directly
oof my brain is spiraling. "he loved you" "ig now we'll never know" what do you mean he didn't know if his dad loved him
there's a technically musical episode
tuffnut became hiccup's defense attorney and immediately got him the death sentence
hiccup regularly jumps off cliffs
he also jumped off a boat, with his arms tied and without toothless. just where did he think he was going
snotlout's annoying attitude is actually because spitelout pressures him too much and he feels like he has to be perfect for his dad :((
THE 'HICCUP'S EVIL MIRROR' VILLAIN THEME DONE RIGHT YESS!!!
viggo is the best httyd villain change my mind (you can't, swords at sundown, you may bring backup but i will win on my own)
skrill comeback skrill comeback SKRILL COMEBACK!!!!
"COMEEE TO DADDY"
what is a boar pit???
oh my god i had missed this series so much. it has no right to be this funny
this was my childhood. it has forever shaped the way i am
berserker heather the unhinged >>>
actually good disability rep! yay
hiccup complains about his peg leg pinching him
he straight up cannot walk without it and it is shown many times
"well, there are the benefits of a metal leg" after it got caught in a bear trap
funny moments, like snotlout trying to steal it to use it as a weapon
the jokes!! toothless laughing at the jokes!!! hiccup being so fucking done with the twins, who are always making the jokes!
there's an episode where everyone is so sleep deprived they actually start spiraling
astrid becomes a happy go lucky girl, hugs snotlout and tells him he's handsome
the fucking mood swings snotlout got were insane
the twins were straight up just hallucinating
"i sent them to wash their dragons, how could they mess that up?" cut to heather falling on her face with a bucket full of water in her hands
fishlegs becomes so paranoid, he's yelling at everyone all the time
"don't you know the trapper's trap can trap the trapper?? ...oh gods, i must be losing it, i'm quoting dagur"
YOOOO VALKA!!!! it's so nice to see her
hiccup tried to murder dagur to stop him from getting to toothless, which is scary bc it shows just how far he's willing to go for his bff, but also funny because hiccup. that was not going to work
oh the hiccstrid slowburn, how i have missed you
the twins's made up language
there was a beach episode turned murder mystery and a musical episode held at gun point
hiccup has a whole little speech that he periodically gives astrid to remind her that the twins serve a purpose
#i'll make more of these later#i'm just very bored and i love rtte#race to the edge#rtte#how to train your dragon#httyd#httyd rtte#toothless#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#astrid hofferson#snotlout jorgenson#fishlegs ingerman#dagur the deranged#tuffnut thorston#ruffnut thorston#heather the unhinged#avis' post
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Fixing Vander and Silco's story (a bit)
Using canon events! Sadly we can't actually fix it, but I hope this makes it a little better. I make my own edit proposal at the end that changes the bar scene to include Felicia without issues.
They meet in the mines, and meet Felicia and her partner there too. They end up together somehow (I think we can put the brotherly allegations to rest now, eh?) and one of them (or both) inherit/buy a bar.
Although Vander is the barman, there is no indication Silco doesn't own or co-own the place. After all he comes to take it eventually as his own, and he's still not bartending. That's just not his gig.
It's implied that Vander and Silco made it, as in, got away from the mines, while Felicia clearly didn't, as she comes home to both her daughters with mining gear and gloves.
So despite Vander and Silco building the Lanes together, the mines aren't closed, and the work "isn't done".
Felicia says they've done it, and Vander is happy to celebrate their success. Meanwhile, Silco has his "NoZ" Nation of Zaun book in which he's scribbling, still planning.
Vander's first memory that Viktor sees even has Silco holding that book.
Later, in season 1 episode 3, we see that Vander tells Silco that he had Vander's respect, the Lanes' respect, but it "was never enough".
There's also this fakeout moment in the memory at the bar, where Vander says they're done, and Silco replies with "You're gravely mistaken". And I thought he was going to go all zealous and say "We'll only be done when we have the Nation of Zaun", but no, he claims he's Bozo 1.
And imo, he is probably right. He calls out Vander in act 1 saying "I trusted you and you betrayed me", and Vander does not contest this. It makes the most in character sense as well that Silco is the brains of the operation while Vander is the brawn.
And we can conclude that Silco's goals were always "bigger" and that the Lanes were indeed not enough.
Years pass, during which we can only assume Silco keeps building his Nation of Zaun and Vander happily bartends and manages the Lanes with Silco. Felicia keeps working the mines and raises Vi, then Powder.
Vi is at least 11, if not more, by the time she's on the bridge. This is just consistent with her model, but also to make her 18+ by the time of act 2.
It's a long ass time for Vander and Silco to be running a bar and the Lanes together. Even assuming Vi is more 8 or 9yo, Vander and Silco spend all that time being together.
Sadly, their models aren't aged very well.
We are also forced here to make some unfortunate assumptions.
It's not a problem, IMO, for Silco to know Felicia and be close to her. It's a problem for him to not be close to Vi and Powder too. Close enough to recognise them at least.
It's easy to say, "Well, Felicia went back to the mines and raised her kids and wasn't super involved with Vander and Silco, who lived much higher up in their bar." Adult friendships and all that.
IT MAKES SENSE, but then it makes zero sense that Vander would murder his life's partner, a man he's been with 10 years at MINIMUM (fuck knows how long they were together while in the mines), over the death of a friend in a revolt they allegedly BOTH participated in.
The memories also imply that Silco is responsible somehow, for throwing a molotov. And yet the molotov doesn't kill the enforcer.
But Vander is shown in the opening of Act 1 season 1 pummeling one to death himself, long after the rest of the revolt has died down. That enforcer wasn't getting back up lol
So whatever we pick, because the writers made Felicia and Silco close, they create a plot hole either way.
Either Vander is whacko and murders his husband over a dead friend at a revolt he set up (since he repeatedly apologises for what he did, and claims he "lost his head after she died" and had that guilt on his hands too)
Or Silco and Vi and Powder spend ALL of season 1 acting like they don't know each other at all. Then Silco takes in Powder and somehow never comments on the fact he was friends with her mom.
Everything being triggered by Felicia's death also means that Vander's emotional thematic moment dropping the gauntlets after seeing what his violence led to is then followed up by a horrible attempted murder on the love of his life, which is... you know. Bad writing.
So I propose that they indeed drift apart. Silco knows of Felicia's kids, and they hangout a bit, but they aren't that close. She's busy mining and being a mom, and Silco is busy making the safe Zaun he promised to deliver.
The creation of that Zaun leads them to act out revolts and uprisings. Vander is happy to follow. He's angry, like he tells Vi. And this manifests in violence. Silco points his violence. It's how they create the Lanes and the moniker of Hound of the Underground. A hound usually has a master, after all.
Vander is Silco's hound, and I think, in Vander's mind this absolves him of some of the consequences of his actions.
So when his friend dies on the Bridge, even if they haven't been that close in a while, well, it's easy to put the blame on Silco.
Since we're following the new canon timeline... we'll have to have him go back with the girls, ready to turn a new leaf.
I think the best way here is to have him either dropping them at an orphanage, or back at their home (trusting Vi to look after Powder for a while) or with friends.
That way, Vi and Powder aren't immediately in Silco's legs back at the drop.
Then Vander and Silco take part in the "clean up" at the bridge. They go get bodies, and since they have no real estate in the fissures, they commit them to the sea (we have canon monsters in there, so I'm sure it all gets gobbled up).
That way, we explain why Vander is weirdly shaved, and why Silco and him are at in the Pilt: they just commited the bodies of the fallen to the waters.
There may have been many others, but Silco and Vander stay there, in the shallows, as they talk.
Vander is done. He doesn't want more of this. He thinks Silco went too far with pushing this one to the bridge. Piltover got defensive and they lost too many people.
Silco doesn't get it. Where he goes, so does Vander, but Vander is his own man, he decided to come too, and he killed enforcers too. Felicia's death is tragic, but as he later will tell Renni about the death of her son: at least she died fighting for the cause, and not some petty infighting, or worse, an accident at the shitty mines.
Vander, the Hound, is not only mad with grief, he refuses to carry the blame of his own actions. It's a character flaw and that's fine! The angry man channels that anger with violence, the only way he knows how.
Silco is probably shocked, and may not say the right things to calm Vander down.
Silco is under the assumption that Vander BELIEVES IN HIS DREAM. That he's a true believer of the Nation of Zaun, like Sevika turns out to be. A true believer would understand sacrifice. A true believer would understand too, that stopping now, after Felicia's death, would make THAT VERY DEATH POINTLESS.
So maybe he screams at Vander! What do you MEAN abandoning the fight? What do you mean, being content with the Lanes? How dare you? You'd make her sacrifice meaningless! You'd make Felicia die a pointless death!
And Vander would bellow that it's over. No more death. No more bloodshed. He rescued her kids from that bridge, and they don't deserve to die too, they don't deserve to see more death.
And Silco screams back that it's their job to create Zaun so these children won't have to see more death. Vander is just delaying the struggle.
And then, perhaps, Silco may even mock him. Say that Vander can't change like that. That he's not that sort of person, to just hang up his gauntlets and go peaceful. That Felicia's blood is on his hands too, and that the only way out is through more blood, more sacrifice.
It would be a horrible point to make, if then Vander truly loses it. Silco runs, and Vander's hound comes out, just grabbing Silco and trying to drown him.
It would be poetic, because then Vander goes home in shame. Gets his arm patched up, hides the scar under a brace, collects the kids and tries to pretend like HE CAN BE THAT MAN. Even though he surrendered his gauntlets and metaphorical violence, and tries to lean into the bartender chill persona, there's what he did to Silco.
And later he'll tell Vander "I'll show you what you really are". Because Silco knows that Vander's promises of being a peaceful good dad are flimsy at best.
Anyway, Vander goes home, and eventually the impact of what he's done really hits him. He's single now, and with kids, and the Lanes to run, and nobody knows where Silco is.
Vander slowly realises Silco was right about one thing. Just because Vander followed, doesn't mean he wasn't behind that event on the bridge. Becoming the solo leader of the Lanes has to have hammered that home for him. Suddenly so much responsibility thrust on him.
So Felicia's death was on him too, and his actions against Silco are the proof that he is indeed the sort of man Silco said he was. At any rate, surrendering violence as his first reaction to any trigger will take a lot of work.
He goes to their old hideout and leaves a letter for Silco.
In the happy AU, Silco finds it, and returns to Vander BEFORE ever meeting Singed. There is no glowing eye, no shimmer, and no cannery.
In our AU, Silco never finds the letter. He finds Singed instead. Starts helping him develop shimmer.
I've been thinking that since the goal of shimmer is a form of "keeping alive" and also "bringing back to life", then it's possible that Silco's glowing eye is a byproduct of shimmer experimentation.
And that the only way to keep it alive and function is more shimmer injections. It would otherwise be grey and dead like in the Nice AU.
So Singed is also a factor here. He gives our Silco a real way to deal scary violence to Piltover. And this changes our Silco. He's more radicalised, and more opposed to Vander, having discovered that Vander works with Grayson to keep Zaun under Piltover's boot (basically making sure the boot stays, but doesn't press down too hard).
Vander is, as always, the enforcer of the status quo.
And though this works for them timeline wise, it sadly doesn't change the fact that Silco should know who Vander's kids are.
Vi and Jinx can be excused for not recognising him, what with him being one of their mom's adult friends, and scarred. But Silco doesn't have that luxury. His great friend Felicia had two very distinctive kids, ONE OF WHICH VANDER FUCKING NAMED! And her death triggered his husband so badly he tried to kill Silco over it. If anything, Silco would be hyper-aware of Felicia's kids.
And no amount of alternate fix-its changes that. It's permanent damage to season 1's Silco.
I feel like we can fix Vander's side of things by inventing an entire scene at the Pilt as I did above, but we can't fix 10 years of knowing your friend's kids and then a lifetime of acting like you don't know them.
I think it also cheapens the found family aspect of both Vander and Silco's adoption. You're left to wonder if they took in the girls only because they were friends with the mom.
Silco's adoption of Jinx and co-dependence with her was great because it spoke of the similar shape of their traumas, and how unexpected their bond seemed.
But now it's redolent of friendly obligation. And lies.
How would I fix it by keeping Felicia in the picture?
I would fully remove Felicia's one-on-one with the boys. That night at the bar? It's a party. Young Sevika is here too!
Felicia and many others are there, all congratulating Vander and Silco over the creation of the Lanes. Eventually Silco tires of the social niceties and goes to write in his notebook at the bar. Or maybe there's a montage of the night as the crowds thin.
In the end, Silco is writing, and Vander is still socialising. He talks to 3 people--Felicia, her husband, and a random person. They thank him for all his work. They've done it! And the conditions in the mines are so much better now thanks to XYZ!
Vander is beaming, he's just so pleased. It's clear for him this is the end goal. Felicia asks him, pointing to Silco, if he's okay.
Vander laughs, says Silco is fine, but he's already got his head back in the clouds. You see, Silco doesn't just want the Lanes, he dreams of a free Nation of Zaun.
The other 2 laugh, but Felicia sobers up. She rubs her belly, thoughtful. Then she says "Sounds like a dream worth fighting for."
I don't think she even needs to say anything about being pregnant, but she could go on with something like "I'm expecting. A girl, I think. I know. And I would love if she could grow in a safe city. I'm so scared she'll have to live the way I did, growing up.'
And Vander smiles sadly and tells her, 'We've gotten this far, and we're not going back. We'll make Zaun safe for your kiddo, I promise you that.'
And that's it.
Vander knows OF Felicia. She is a community member. He knows her enough, maybe from Lanes meetings, that eventually he can recognise her children. But they're not friends, and SILCO definitely isn't friends.
And the disagreement after the bridge is fully about where to go from then on, and Vander deciding he wants to run the Lanes and keep them safe, that what they have now is good enough, while Silco wants "more".
That disagreement can turn nasty, and the fact Vander tried to drown Silco becomes a statement about how violent and temperamental he is as "The Hound of the Underground". Something he'll regret soon enough and spend the next few years working hard to try and change.
What do you think?
#vander#Silco#arcane#arcane meta#zaundads#vanco#vi arcane#powder arcane#jinx#felicia arcane#zaun#arcane 2#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#arcane silco#arcane vander#long post#meta
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