#rip universe app
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As a Kpop fan now, if you've been here since at least 2021/2022ish~ you've outlived 2 apps. V Live and Universe, congrats, you don't get anything, but you can say you've outlived them.
#congrats on outliving two apps#rip universe app#rip vlive#the reason i say 2021 is because vlive has been dying since at least January 2021 - we no longer had vlive+ but i can't remember when#they deactivated that feature but wild#universe down#as a uni (ptg stan) this is the funniest tag i've gotten to say#i'd say dance on their graves but vlive was such a queen and we lost her- i loved her- she made my days easier... i would watch vlives in#class all the time- and now we can't- and we got so many good things from universe even if it didn't mean physical releases- it was still#nice- we had sth similar to bubble and we could talk to our idols ( i didn't do this but i loved seeing the translations on twt )#hybe is seeing each app as a cash grab and i cry sometimes- i can't forgive them- but anyways enough about that-#i feel like a fossil lowkey- it's not often i feel like a fossil in the kpop community but 8 yrs this year def takes a toll on your bones-#will i forever be keeping the uni app and vlive app? yes- they will forever live rent free- i will miss these eras as a kpop stan#achievement#outliving#congratulations#i've had this queued since feb. 17th when the messages from idols officially ended- it's so sad esp cause kyunbebes will have no access#to talking to him if starship finds a new way to make a new app because they won't include him 😭 i hope by the time this queues sony#comes up with a solution and treats our boy right- also ever think about all the idols that enlisted beforehand? like vlive died while they#were serving!? it's so sad- anyways i'm done rambling- pls enjoy this queued post#queued post#yes the app doesnt officially close til 5/31 @ 4 am et- but the messages being gone = huge loss#sorry besties- i seriously am gonna miss both apps i already grieved the former 😔
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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i live.
#*taps mic* is this thing on#but also... hello there <3#classes have been kicking my rear esp in the past two weeks wow#i had an art history architectural process / a world civi mid-term#paper / i have one last part of a career project / i just submitted an#art history paper... it's just been chaos! on top of that i have scholarship app due#this week and i had a transfer meeting for the university of texas#it's just been !!!!!!!!!!! lately but. i miss u and giffing quite a bit and i#really hope to get back soon. also i have to put my dog down#on friday and i am... dreading it immensely *sigh* anywho hi <3#i haven't forgotten abt this place and i hope y'all have forgotten me rip :((#malina.txt
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hhshdhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gridman movie. When
#i think what we should do is rip the script from an accessibility app in jpeg format and forcefeed it to google translate#……….haha jk……..unless 👉👈#<- fingers in my ears pretending it’s at all a popular franchise in the states#god. pls. i want it in theaters so bad BUT ILL TAKE STREAMING TOO . ANYTHING FOR THESE TWO FUCKERS#‘aint gauma dead’ not if i have anything to say about it!!!!!!#a: gridman universe#a: ssss.dynazenon#t.txt
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i p sure it's way too late to decide i want to jump into grad school after graduation but technically i can still apply for a phd program at my undergrad university but without fellowship consideration : /
#i fucking hate myself#i'm personal posting again#it's the only university in my area where grad apps are still open#but like my gpa is just fine so rip if they don't accept me i giess#because i couldn't get it together enough to do this back in november and december#uggghhhhhh#this should probably be a journal entry but whatever
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I messed up. /j
Introducing...
THE AMAZING DIGITAL ARCADE PARTY!
Yeah, that's right, I caved in.
Basically the exact same show except its established lore and setting is more largely inspired by archive compilations of popular vintage arcade games of the 80s and 90s such as Pac-Man’s Arcade Party, as well as the different takes within the sci-fi / fantasy genre by the likes of Wreck-It Ralph, Tron: Legacy, and Infinity Train.
==
= BACKGROUND (in a nutshell) 💿 =
In an attempt to save their dying business, C&A developed and manufactured the first hybrid arcade game of its own kind that combined other popular arcade games and home console games with virtual reality. However, just as the company’s luck was turning around, numerous lawsuits from game companies by the likes of Nintendo and families were filed against the company for their product, from apparently “ripping-off” Super Mario Bros. in its entirety to causing many children to either inexplicably fall unconscious or suffer from amnesia after the cabinet’s headset was put on. Just then, as C&A announced they’ll be temporarily recalling the product to fix its issues, a shocking discovery was already made by investigators that would soon bring the company to its demise: the game’s AI had gone rogue, and once a human mind dies from losing one of the games in any way, they are either permanently reincarnated as a personified cartoon character of themselves or just straight up die in real-life depending on the outcome.
==
= ART N’ STUFF 🎨 =
(might wanna make a separate masterpost for that in the future but oh well)
NES Ragatha
Pomni and Caine redesigns
==
= Q&As and BOUNDARIES (sort of) 🎙️ =
"Are there any plans to make a full webcomic out of this?" - Uhhhh, mayyybe? I'm not entirely sure, honestly. While there may be a few side comics and artwork from my head I want to get out sometime, I don't really have much plans for this AU that'll be worth telling a full story right now since I feel there is plenty of things that I've yet to figure out and develop in a matter of time, particularly the setting and characters (especially considering the OG show itself has only 2 episodes out as of writing and I only have mobile apps like ibisPaint X to make this all possible at the moment).
"Can I make fanfics and OCs for this AU?" - Of course! I've seen a lot of incredible things from the community, especially in regards to alternate universes, so you're absolutely more than welcome to share whatever's on your mind as long as your heart's in the right place. I can't really guarantee I'll see every bit of it since I do have some personal biz of mine to take care of at any moment, but I'll be happy to reblog them whenever I get the chance. Just tag me and we all good. :)
"Are there any canon ships in this AU?" - Yes. Yes, there are. Well, only BunnyDoll (Jax x Ragatha) to be specific. HOWEVER, you are free to ship whoever you want here! Showtime (Caine x Pomni), ButtonBlossom (Pomni x Ragatha), it's all okay. The choice is yours, a romantic buffet! (Plus, depending on the quality of my writing, I'm not even planning to dwell too much into it for now, aside from the side comics that will.)
==
That's all for right now. Enjoy! :)
#the amazing digital circus#acstation#y2k aesthetic#fanart#tadc au#arcade au#arcade party au#tadc pomni#tadc ragatha#tadc caine#tadc gangle#tadc jax#tadc kinger#tadc zooble#early 2000s#nostalgia#ibispaintx#tadc#gooseworx#ac talks with you#tadc fanart#ac art#art#2000s vibes
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Birds on The Bird App Masterpost
All the Gotham Twitter posts can be found here. If you want to be added to the tag list, lmk!!
1 - Meant to be on Priv
2 - Eating burritos sloppy style
3 - Hood's war against being verified
4 - Out of costume intermission
5 - Hoods war against being verified pt 2
6 - RIP Grammy 🕊🕊
7 - Pride Month
8 - tweeting during your lunchbreak
9 - Damian and Animals, a compilation
Tag List under cut
Ask/reply/dm to be added!! Whatever works for you!!
Note: some of the names aren't linkable/taggable via tumblr on mobile due to some users visibility/privacy settings. If you are one of these folks, I'll do my best to let you know of future installments via dm/ask
Taglist
@desicanary // @thegayseance // @soaring-through-the-stars // @thebat-musicman // @percyyeuss // @pathofglory // @andreaissy // @themiraculousec // @gnomewithalaptop // @viola-cola // @milotic109 // @kamala-msmarvel-khan // @suffer-my-beloved-mutuals // @arcadianico // @your-dead-european-ancestor // @asmodeusmustdiexo // @max-volume // @itsmeevie01 // @leagueofbats // @catostrofiqu // @amillionandonefandoms // @shykitten28 // @atlasaurelius // @ihavenohotcocoa // @kai-antreas // @living-on-borrowed-time // @o-i-have-too // @aroaceass // @silverwolf1249 // @cannimochi // @lesbianbooknerd // @scarlettauthor // @twinningglass // @1n0sss // @craptastico // @lovethewitchofendor // @insomniacweebqueen16 // @fashionstatement-deathwish // @brieftimetravelwhispers // @crabs-brencil // @universal-travel-er // @royal-illusion-loves-his-fandoms // @blankliferain // @p1xel-1mp // @kades-stuff // @theweevilofsweetreef // @fablehaven-rulez // @kalifornialove // @justahoomanbeing // @frosty--giants // @you-are-valid-and-deserve-love // @slitherynchiken // @kazbrekkersfedoraaintgotshitonme //
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smitten: y/n (reluctantly) agrees to go to jimin's big halloween bash and she forgot how much she actually hated parties
➺ pairing; jeon jungkook x reader
➺ genre; smitten!miniseries!! bff!kook and smitten!y/n!! university!au!! honk honk humour!! the boohoo angsty wattpady fic of your dreams!! the pining and yearning is off the charts!! jimin’s still an asshole but what’s new!!
➺ wordcount; 9.2k
➺ summary; putting on a smile while watching ji-eun cuddle up to jungkook is already hard enough, but when y/n is (reluctantly) invited to jimin’s massive halloween party, she can’t help but even more out of place.
➺ what to expect; “you know, you’re my best friend and i wanna make sure that everything is… good between us.”
➺ currently playing on cee.fm; favourite crime [olivia rodrigo]
➺ smitten: part one [the almost confession]; part two [the incriminating note]; part three [the date]
»»————- 👻 ————-««
you’re pretty sure you’re in hell.
you’re not sure what you did in your past life to have deserved this, but past-life y/n must’ve killed a baby or set an entire village on fire or something to that degree because you’re pretty sure that in this current timeline, you’re in hell
you stay quiet as you munch on your (slightly soggy, unfortunately) sandwich, scrolling through your phone (but not really paying attention to your instagram feed because apparently you’re a glutton for punishment and you keep wanting to look up and just stare at jungkook and ji-eun in all their coupley glory) while your foot taps anxiously against the ground
you know that if you say you can sit somewhere else to give the two of them some privacy that jungkook will insist that you stay, but you feel like the longer you sit here the faster the people around you will see that you’re just a big ol’ monster truck sized third wheel
you could lie and say that you have to go to the library to get some work done, but jungkook’s really good at knowing when you’re lying to him (apparently you have VERY obvious tells which you were very unaware of) so that’s not going to be a feasible plan either
it’s just that being here is incredibly uncomfortable but it seems like the only option you have is to stay and sit through it — which, again, reiterates your point of you being pretty sure you’re being punished for something you did in your past life
“my handsome boy…” ji-eun giggles lightly, reaching over to adjust the collar of jungkook’s jacket before leaning over to kiss him on the cheek, “i like this jacket a lot.”
“yeah?” he gives his girlfriend a boyish grin, looking down at his jacket before looking back up at her, “lucky for you, you can borrow it anytime you’d like-“ you glance up at them, the little voice in your brain stopping you from interrupting them to say that that is a nice jacket because you chose it for jungkook — and you feel like that comment could potentially lump you into the pick-me-girl-best-friend category which you’d very much like to avoid
“borrow? no, i’m stealing it-“
“no way! i got this thrifted for, like, fifteen bucks, i’m not letting you steal it-“
“alright, then you better sleep with one eye open the next time i stay over at yours because this is a nice jacket-“
you can’t help but look over at the empty seat next to you on the bench as you let out a quiet sigh… you have never felt so horribly single in your entire life.
and it doesn’t help that it’s cuffing szn this cuffing szn that all over your social media — your tiktok feed has not been very friendly to you as of late, the app flooded with countless videos of cute couples bundling up for the colder seasons
if anything you need to be cuffed to the wall before you go crazy and rip your eyelashes out from frustration
unsurprisingly, jungkook and ji-eun are a couple now, but really, are you surprised? jungkook is great, ji-eun is great, they went on a great first date (thanks to you, let’s be honest) and all the dates after that went well too because it lead to jungkook asking ji-eun if she wanted to be exclusive with him
you knew that things were going well when jungkook started hanging out with you less and less
and then when they officially got together, you didn’t think it could possibly get any worse but your already puny twice a week hangouts turned into two hours a week before he’d zip off to spend time with ji-eun
in fact, within the last two weeks, he’s only hung out with you once… which is fine, because you understand the honeymoon stage and you understand how giddy people can be when they get into a brand new relationship and just want to spend all their time with this new person
you know for sure that if you were the one who’d gotten into a new relationship, you’d definitely want to spend as much time with your person because why wouldn’t you want to do that? you really can’t blame the guy
you have other friends you can hang out with, but it’s just not as fun because even when you’re having a good time with them, your mind keeps wandering back to what jungkook is doing with ji-eun
and of course, when jungkook mentioned to you over a quick lunch one afternoon that he was planning on asking ji-eun to make things official, it’s not like you could tell him that it was a horrible idea and that he shouldn’t be dating ji-eun without ruffling feathers and raising brows of suspicion
the only person it would be a horrible idea for would be you, and you’re not enough of a dickhead to ruin a potentially good thing because of your own desires
and obviously, she said yes because why wouldn’t she say yes?
…
you know, there really isn’t a way for you to talk about this situation without sounding like the most bitter person on the planet, so perhaps you should move on now
“okay, i’m putting you two on drinks duty for the party!” jimin seems to appear out of thin air and you turn your head to look at him standing at the front of the table with an armful of flyers and the usual bossy, snarky persona that literally drains you every time you have an interaction with him, “unless you’re too busy making out to handle that.”
“no, we can handle it-“ ji-eun rolls her eyes playfully, pulling away from jungkook before reaching over and plucking the list from jimin’s slim fingers, “jesus, jimin. twelve bottles of vodka??”
“i’ll give you my credit card, just put all the charges on it-“ jimin shrugs, sliding in next to you before nudging you over a little, “this is going to be my greatest party yet. i’m charging $10 an admission and i’m renting out this huge house- i don’t think you can even comprehend how massive this party is going to be. it’s gonna be so much better than last year’s one.”
“i remember hearing about your party last year!” you chime in, offering jimin a polite smile even though he’s not looking at you, “it sounded like it was super fun.”
“so, you guys are on drinks, so that’s covered-“ jimin makes a tick on his clipboard before nodding to himself, “decor is covered, catering is covered, rent for the night is covered…”
you poke your tongue against the inside of your cheek, slumping in your seat a little and resisting the urge to roll your eyes
you still have no clue what jimin’s problem is with you, but at this point you’ve gotten used to the way he acts like you literally do not exist at all
you mentioned it to jungkook one time, wondering if maybe you were just looking too far into it and that there was nothing to take personally to which he responded with an enthusiastic nod and a “no, i also get the vibe that he doesn’t like you and i have no idea why… just let him be an ass if he wants to be one, don’t stoop to his level. life is too short to waste energy on weird people.”
so if jimin wants to continue being an ass to you, you’re just gonna let it roll off you like water off a duck’s back
“funny enough, y/n and i were gonna go to your party last year, but the kids in y/n’s building were trick or treating so we decided to stay home and watch horror movies and hand out candy instead-“ jungkook clears his throat, eyes flickering over to you for a brief second, “we also, like, decorated the doorway like it was a haunted apartment to freak the kids out. and y/n had this great idea to have a cauldron filled with warm spaghetti and she told the kids it was brain stew-“
“oh my god, i forgot about that-“ you snort, “i feel like we should’ve done, like, warm pudding instead or something, but the spaghetti kinda had the same effect and my kitchen smelled like an italian restaurant for two weeks after that-“
“let’s talk costumes!” jimin interrupts you, smacking his palm down on the table before pointing his pen at ji-eun and jungkook, “please don’t show up in anything tacky.”
“we were thinking barbie and ken!” ji-eun grins, “not tacky, totally trendy — i know we probably won’t be the only barbie and kens in the room, but it’s just so trendy and i loved her pink sequinned cowboy outfit- or if that’s not available, i think the 80s skater costumes were a vibe-“
“i can’t whait to talk about horshes and capitahlism wiv a bunch of ovher kensj.” jungkook laughs lightly with a mouthful of sandwich, dabbing his mouth with his napkin before crumpling it up into a ball and tossing it at you
you scowl playfully when it bounces off your forehead and lands on the ground
“you could go as allen, y/n. that’d be pretty funny.” jungkook swallows his bite, and you want to tell him that he doesn’t have to include you in every part of the conversation because you can practically see the pity for you radiating off of him in waves
you know for a fact he feels bad that he’s not been able to hang out with you as much lately because every time you do hang out he always brings you a drink or a snack with sympathetic little puppy dog eyes
and every time you have lunch with him and ji-eun he’s always making an effort to include you in the conversation — especially when jimin is around because again, it’s pretty clear the guy doesn’t like you
you and jungkook spent an entire afternoon trying to figure out why he didn’t like you so much, but you couldn’t come up with any conclusive results, so now whenever jimin is around, jungkook makes even more effort to include you in the conversation
“allen was my favourite character, so that’s not even a bad idea.” you chirp, pulling out one of the flyers from jimin’s neat pile before looking at it for the details
“oh, right. yeah, you can come too, i guess.” jimin clears his throat quietly, taking the flyer back from you with a chuckle, “…you don’t seem like you’d have anything crazy going on on a friday night.”
“i can come too? i thought that everyone was invited to this thing?” you raise an eyebrow, pointing to the little note on the flyer, “all it says is general admission.”
“…right.” jimin smiles sweetly at you, “and i suppose i’ll waive the fee for you since you’re… friends with jungkook.”
“how sweet of you.” you respond curtly, offering a smile just as sweet before letting it drop as soon as he looks away
you are absolutely dreading having to go to this party.
»»————- 👻 ————-««
“are you sure you don’t want us to come and pick you up? ji-eun has space in her car, you’d just have to sit in the back with all the drinks n stuff-“
“i’m good, jungkook, really-“ you mutter, pausing for a second to smudge out your lipstick before leaning back in your chair and turning side to side to look at your finished look
not that this is jungkook’s fault, but the fact that the two of you really haven’t been hanging out as often gave you a lot of time to think about what you wanted to dress up as for jimin’s halloween costume, and after a solo spooky movie binge the other weekend, you decided that you wanted to dress up as emily from the corpse bride
sure, it’s been done so many times — but you love the movie and you love emily and you had so much time to get everything you needed for this costume so why not dress up as her??
you reach up to adjust your blue wig, tugging at it slightly to make sure it’s nice and secure
“i’m just gonna uber there! plus, my place is kind of out of the way if you guys are already headed to jimin’s.” you clear your throat, “thank you for the offer though. make sure to let ji-eun know i really appreciate the gesture.”
“okay, i will…” jungkook murmurs, and you can tell by the tone in his voice that he wants to say something but he’s holding himself back, “i guess i’ll see you at the party, then? we’ll probably be there in about forty minutes.”
“yes, i’ll see you guys at the party.” you nod, wiping the leftover blue lipstick on your fingers on a tissue before reaching over to get ready to press the hangup button
“y/n?” jungkook’s voice crackling out from your phone speaker makes you pause, and you pull your hand back
“yea?”
“we’re- we’re good, right?” the question is somewhat of a surprise to you due to its weirdly serious, non-jungkook nature, your eyes flickering down to look at the contact photo you have set for your friend
he grins like a maniac at the camera, eyes wide and lit up with excitement at the cheesy corn dog he’s holding in front of him
the corner of your mouth twitches in a fond smile at the memory of that day — jungkook was convinced he’d be able to eat three corn dogs in one sitting and the day ended with him basically destroying your toilet and then refusing to let you use it until the smell cleared out
“what do you mean?” you clear your throat quietly, lips parting to say something else before you press them together and decide against it
“i mean- i know we haven’t been hanging out a lot lately so i just-“ jungkook coughs, “you know, you’re my best friend and i wanna make sure that everything is… good between us.”
“i-“ you pause again, gaze averting to the side as you think about his comment
if you’re being completely honest, you don’t think everything is good between the two of you — the first reason why being the fact that you are still completely and utterly head over heels in love with him, and the second reason being that he’s in a relationship with someone else and you’re really not sure how much more of this you can take before you go insane
but this isn’t exactly something you can hash out over a crackly phone call, and you’re really not in the mood to potentially destroy two relationships at once
you really don’t know what you’re going to do about this emotional mess, but what you do know is that you’re going to have to take it day by day until you’re eventually ready to face it head on — and tonight, your only job is to smile, enjoy being young, and have lots of fun at what you’re sure is going to be an amazing party despite it being hosted by someone who hates your guts for no reason
“we’re- we’re good, kook.” you manage to push out, despite the words practically fighting their way out of your mouth, “you’re my best friend, too.”
“okay. so i’ll see you soon?”
“yea.” you look at yourself in the vanity mirror, wondering if the sadness in your eyes will make your costume that much more believable, “i’ll see you soon.”
»»————- 👻 ————-««
the six pack of lime seltzer water (you got the fancy kinds in glass bottles) clinks in their cardboard carrier as you walk on the sidewalk, blue heels clicking against the pavement as you follow the path leading up towards the house that-
“holy shit.” your jaw drops at the sheer size of this literal mansion — what looks to be an endless number of burgundy bricks separated by neat, thin layers of cement that are stacked on top of each other, two large, white columns that cast identical shadows on the curved sidewalk leading up to the large, black front door, and not to mention, the insane halloween decorations: huge spider webs stretched over the door and windows, fairy lights wrapped around the columns, a stack of pumpkins sitting by the front steps kardashian-style
you don’t like jimin but you have to hand it to him, he sure can throw a party
“s’cuse us, sorry!” a trio of girls dressed up as sluttier versions of the powerpuff girls brush past you, bubbles turning around to shoot you a grin, “love your costume, by the way!”
“oh, thank you!” your face immediately breaks into a wide grin, “you guys look great, too-“
the random compliment lifts your mood up slightly — you know you’re more than capable of making friends anywhere you go, so if jungkook is too busy mingling with the other couples, you know you’ll be fine
and hopefully jimin will be too busy playing host to give you any attitude tonight
you lift your dress up as you make your way up the steps, the corners of your mouth lifting in an excited smile when you see taehyung standing by the door greeting people and collecting their $10 by… having them tuck the bills into the waistband of his boxers
“magic mike?” you laugh, taehyung’s right eye dropping in a wink before thrusts his hips towards you
“you know it, baby-“ he coos, reaching over to pinch the fabric of your dress to pull you towards him, your cheeks flushing when you stumble into his chest, “be nice to me and i’ll give you a lil lap dance in one of the private rooms-“
“taehyung, i swear to god, do not let any of those bills fall into your boxers because i’m not touching anything that touched your penis-“ jimin pops up behind taehyung dressed in a veryaccurate joker costume, his usual blonde hair dyed completely green for the look
“hi, welcome to the party, $10 an admiss-“ the sweet smile immediately drops from his face when he realises it’s you, jimin leaning back slightly, “wow, corpse bride!” jimin nods, looking you up and down, “seems fitting.” he mutters under his breath, watching as taehyung tapes the neon orange bracelet around your wrist
“nice to see you too, jimin.” you raise an eyebrow, lifting the six pack up with your other hand, “i didn’t want to come empty-handed, so i brought some drinks!”
“you brought six drinks for a house party? six sparkly waters, too… interesting.” jimin scoffs lightly, plucking the carrier from you before offering you a saccharine sweet smile, “how thoughtful of you. drinks are in the kitchen - first two shots are free, and then it’s $15 a shot after that. cocktails are $5 each, mocktails are $3- you seem like a shirley temple girl anyway- and all of it can be paid through venmo. the bartender will answer any other questions you have. bathrooms are upstairs, and the results to the costume competition will be announced at the end of the night. there are fifteen winners, and the votes are made by everyone here, so you might have a shot at winning something here.” jimin steps aside, gesturing towards the party, “have fun!”
“thank you, jimin.” you smile politely, stepping into the house and immediately rolling your eyes as soon as you turn away from him
so you weren’t able to completely avoid his dickheadedness, but hopefully that’ll be your only interaction with him tonight considering he’s probably going to be busy playing businessman all night
$15 a shot is kind of insane, though
you keep your phone pressed flush to your chest as you manoeuvre your way through the packed floor, the neon lights flashing and disco ball glimmering from above making it damn near impossible to navigate this place without bumping into backs and stepping on toes
the DJ pumps his arm up into the air as he continues spinning his fingers against the discs, the crowd going wild as the song builds up to the chorus
you can already tell that most of the people here are drunk (you can smell it, too) and you know, if you can’t beat ‘em, why not join them?
you can find jungkook later, and alcohol is definitely going to make this night a little easier to handle
“hi!” you smack your hands down on the marble countertop when you finally make your way to the bar, the vampire bartender turning to glance at you over his shoulder before tossing a cloth over his shoulder, “i want- something. shots, a drink, anything-“ your voice is already straining from the way you’re basically screaming over the music but this seems to be the proper way to communicate at a party like this
“wait, y/n?” your eyes light up when you realise that it’s none other than namjoon in charge of the drinks (and you wonder if your friendship with him will mean he gives you more drinks without charging you for it) and you let out a gasp as you lean over the counter to grasp onto his wrist
“namjoon!” you grin, “oh my god, thank god, finally someone i know at this damn party. why didn’t you tell me you were going to be here??”
“why didn’t you tell me you were gonna be here?! i haven’t seen you at the library at all, otherwise i definitely would’ve talked to you about it- what can i get for you?”
“top-shelf tequila, baby. i saw the list of brands that jimin bought - i want the most expensive one.” you raise an eyebrow, namjoon laughing to himself before nodding
“alright, i gotcha- you need any chasers with that?”
“you got cranberry juice?”
“for you, i’ve got anything-“ namjoon smirks, holding a finger up to excuse himself
it’s five seconds later that you’re presented with not one, not two, but three shots of tequila, namjoon winking at you as he slides the cranberry juice chasers over to you as well
“you better take these before jimin realises i’ve given you a freebie- i’m about to take a break here, someone else is gonna come in a sec to replace me- you wanna dance?”
“um, of course i do!” you can’t help but squeal excitedly, “take one with me!” you push a shot glass towards him, namjoon shrugging before picking up the shot and downing it in less than two seconds
you take your second shot, eyes squinting as the burn of alcohol trickles down your throat
you immediately shudder, reaching for the cranberry juice and tossing it down the hatch
“oh, jesus-“ you hiss, shuddering against before sticking your tongue out in disgust, “god, that cranberry juice does not help whatsoever-!” you don’t get much of a chance to say anything else before namjoon has his slender fingers wrapped around your wrist, giggles bubbling out of your mouth as he drags you towards the crowded dance floor to join the rest of the drunken crowd
»»————- 👻 ————-««
okay, so maybe this party didn’t turn out to be as bad as you thought it was going to be!
“that- oh my god-!” you throw your head back in laughter when namjoon pulls out the worst dance moves you’ve ever seen, your eyes pinching shut as you clutch at your stomach
you’re not sure how much time has passed (to be fair, it’s gonna be hard to tell how much time has passed when you’re at a massive house party with flashing lights and nothing but the sound of speakers booming to guide you) but you know you’ve been having a lot more fun with namjoon than you’ve had with jungkook these last few weeks) ((in fact you’re having so much fun that you almost forgot you were supposed to be heartbroken that the love of your life is with someone else, but also, that could probably be the alcohol taking over))
you know at some point you’re going to have to go over and say hi to jungkook eventually because you don’t want him to think that you’re purposely ignoring him or something — after all, it’s not his fault that he likes ji-eun and it’s not something you can pin on him and grill him for — but for now, you’re going to dance a little more, sing a little more, and-
“i gotta pee!” you gasp all of a sudden, realising that you haven’t peed once since coming here and there’s a lot of tequila sloshing around in your system
“what?” namjoon furrows his brows, reaching up to tap against his ear, “too loud, can’t hear you!”
“i gotta go pee!” you repeat yourself, pointing towards the staircase leading upstairs, “’m gonna go pee n then ‘m gonna come right back-“
“oh, pee?” namjoon nods, finally catching your words before stepping aside a little, “okay, i’ll be right here!”
»»————- 👻 ————-««
the silence of the bathroom is more than welcome as soon as you step in and flick the lights on, not at all surprised to see a pair of elegant looking wall sconces lighting up the space
you squint your eyes as you lean into the mirror, double checking that your makeup is still somewhat intact and you don’t look insane
“hm. not bad.” you mutter to yourself, turning your head from side to side before nodding, reaching down to pull the endless amounts of tulle up so you can hopefully not piss all over yourself in your tipsy state
…
…
…
you set the lid down as the toilet flushes, turning the tap on and rinsing your hands underneath the cool water
“oh, damn-“ you wince when you realise you’re washing some of the blue body paint away and you quickly turn the tap off, shaking the water off your hands before reaching for a neatly folded cotton towelette of course, because regular paper towels aren’t fancy enough for a park jimin party
you give yourself one last glance in the mirror (you could use a little more lipstick but it’s dark down there so no one’s going to be able to tell anyway) before flicking the lights off
“oops! i’m sorry-“ you apologise instinctively when you open the door and stumble right into someone, taking a few steps back before looking up to see that it’s jimin, “oh, hey…” you clear your throat quietly, standing up a little straighter before offering him a meek smile
you always feel like you’re in trouble when you’re around jimin and it’s the worst feeling in the world
like he’s the principal and you just got caught cheating on a test and he’s about to call home to tell your parents as punishment
or he’s an officer and he’s about to test you with the breathalyser and you know you’re going to fail because you definitely can’t walk in a straight line right now
“why am i not surprised that you clearly don’t know how to handle alcohol?” jimin snorts, holding his hands out in case you fall over, “you better not throw up all over me, this suit is custom made-“
“i wasn’t throwing up in the bathroom, i just went in there to pee-“ you roll your eyes, placing both hands on your hips before shaking your head, “you are ridiculous, you know that? even if i was throwing up in your stupid fancy toilets, the normal thing to do would be to ask if me i was okay and if i needed some water! you- you are just so self-centred and just-“
“yeah, uh-huh-“ jimin reaches up to pat the side of your face with a smile, “by the way, if you were looking for jungkook, he’s at the VIP booth with ji-eun and the rest of us.”
“oh, perfect!” you nod, thankful for the information, “i’ll pop over and say hi in a bit, i think it’d be good to sit down too because my heels are kind of killing me and i wouldn’t be surprised if i had, like, a million blisters right now-“
“woah, i never said you were allowed to be in the booth with us.” jimin scoffs, pressing a hand against your shoulder to keep you from moving, “silly girl.”
your lips part slightly as you look at him, and for a moment the only thing that can be heard is the faint boom and bass of the music playing from downstairs
“are you… serious?” you ask, unsure if jimin’s joking with you or not
the bored expression on his face tells you that he is indeed, super serious
all of this just feels so incredibly cliquey and immature and stupid and you know that you’re supposed to be the bigger person because jimin clearly won’t be and you like to think that you’re ten times more emotionally mature than him but he’s making it harder and harder for you to not want to shred up his nice suit with a pair of scissors and cuss him out in front of everyone
“i’m dead serious. i’m just telling you this so that you don’t embarrass yourself when your drunk ass stumbles over and tries to join us.” jimin says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world, “enjoy the rest of the party, sweetheart.” he brushes past you to head into the washroom and-
“you’re a fucking dickhead, you know that?” you snap, jimin stopping in his tracks before turning his head slightly so you can just make out the side of his face, “i think i’ve been nothing but nice to you ever since i met you, and to be honest, i can’t even think of one reason why you are constantly so fucking rude and overall just unpleasant to me. i don’t say anything when you purposely cut me out of the conversation, i don’t nag when you ignore my questions and comments but respond to everyone else’s, and most importantly, i’ve never called you out for being a jackass when i think i’ve had every chance and opportunity to. if you have a problem with me, then just say so so that we can hash this stupid weird rivalry out and just get along. your best friend and my best friend are in a relationship, and i think it’s in everyone’s best interest that we at least try to get along-“
“oh, shut the fuck up, y/n.” jimin scoffs, turning around to face you, “you know, you always act like you’re better than everyone else, that’s why i don’t like you.”
you feel your shoulders stiffen at the comment before you shrug, crossing your arms over your chest, “well, i’m sorry if i’ve given you that impression but that’s not my intention, i don’t think i’m better than you, i don’t think i’m better than everyone else, and i can’t control how you feel about me but-“
“oh my god, even when you’re confronting me about being a dickhead to you you’re still being a sensible goddamn person, it’s like you’re purposely trying to piss me off-“
“okay, well, i’m not going to apologise to you for literally being myself because there’s nothing i can do about it. this is a you problem, not a me problem, so if you insist on being such an unreasonable drama queen for however long we’re going to have to spend time together, then i think the solution here is just for you to ignore me — which, you’re already doing a stellar job of, congratulations — and in return, i’ll happily ignore you.”
“i hate when people aren’t themselves. i pick up on that shit right away, and i gotta tell you, y/n, you might be the fakest person of them all.”
“what the hell are you talking about?”
“i think we both know you’re hiding something from all of us. i think you’re hiding something from yourself, too. i think you’re lying to yourself.”
there’s a pregnant pause in the conversation and for a second you want to ask him what exactly he’s implying here, but…
“alright, jimin, well-“ you turn around to head towards the stairs, “you’re fuckin’ being weird, and i’m just trying to have a good time, so i’m just gonna go back down-“
“yeah, have a wonderful rest of your evening, corpse bride-“
you resist the very strong urge to whip around and literally just strangle the man, but you remind yourself that before you had this little interaction you were actually having a very good time
“y/n!” jungkook stands at the bottom of the staircase as you make your way down, being careful not to trip over your heels, “hi!”
“jungkook! oh, there you are- i was wondering where you were-“ you loop an arm with his as you drag him through the hoards of people and towards the bar (you really need a drink and it looks like namjoon is back on the clock)
“there you are!” he laughs lightly, reaching over to tap your hand gently, “i’ve been texting you all night trying to figure out where you were but- is your phone on do not disturb or something?“
“no, it’s not! i’m sorry, i should’ve checked my phone-“ you smile sheepishly, “i’ve been dancing with namjoon this whole time but- where are you guys sitting?”
“i don’t know, some area that jimin squared off for us and a few others- ji-eun’s been asking about you, she wanted to say hi-“
“oh! oh my god, yeah, i should probably go say hi to ji-eun-“ you gesture for namjoon to get you some water and he nods, grabbing a cup and filling it up for you, :your ken costume turned out great, by the way-“ you laugh, patting jungkook’s bare chest, “it’s, uh- it’s really giving horses and the patriarchy.”
“thank you, thank you- and your costume turned out so cool too, we should watch corpse bride again when we eventually have another movie night-“
“sure! sure, for sure.” you clear your throat quietly, a moment of awkward silence settling in between the two of you
your friendship feels so… different now
like there’s this unspoken air of something in between you and jungkook like an invisible brick wall
and maybe it’s the liquid courage currently sloshing around in your body and the leftover exhilaration from finally calling jimin out on his bullshit, but now you have the urge to talk to jungkook about the weird tension
“hey, kook, listen-“ you reach up to scratch the back of your neck, “there’s something i’ve been meaning to tell you but i’ve definitely been putting off for a while…”
all of a sudden, a drum roll begins to boom from the speakers, the spotlights darting around the crowd before shining towards the main stage at the front of the room, whoops and cheers bouncing off the walls as jimin waltzes his way towards the microphone, a cocky smirk on his face as he raises his hand to get people to quiet down
“oh, shit, the costume competition results!!” jungkook nudges your side as the two of you turn to face the front, “we can talk about it later, i wanna see who won what- i voted myself for best ken costume, so-“
you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding and you nod, thankful for the interruption
maybe it’s a good thing you were interrupted
telling him in the middle of a party probably wasn’t the best idea, anyway
»»————- 👻 ————-««
once again, you really have to hand in to jimin
the man truly knows how to throw a party, because it seems like just about everyone is having the time of their lives — and this costume competition just made things so much more fun
there are definitely a lot of good costumes here tonight and jimin decided to change it up with twenty-five different categories to go through so he’s kind of speed running through the names
most scary costume, most realistic costume, most well-made costume: he’s got a lot of categories to get through
you keep a content smile on your face as the costume contest continues to go on, enjoying jimin’s commentary to the point that you nearly forget that the two of you hate each other and he totally just disrespected you like he’s never disrespected you before twenty minutes ago
“i wonder how that guy made it look like his head was floating… that shit was so cool.” jungkook claps his hands along with the crowd and you nod enthusiastically
“i know, right?! i’m sure he probably took it off tiktok or something - we can definitely look it up after the party and maybe we can try to recreate-“ you stop yourself mid-sentence, suddenly remembering that you guys haven’t exactly been the closest as of late so it feels weird to be offering to do something together, “um-“ you clear your throat, offering a half-hearted shrug, “yeah, we can, like, look it up later or something. maybe you and ji-eun can figure it out and let me know.”
“yeah! or- you know, you and me-“ jungkook licks over his chapped lips, “like- you know, like- old times or whatever-“
“yeah, yeah- maybe! maybe-“
“now, before i announce this special category, i have something to read because-“ jimin sucks in a breath through his teeth before cocking his head to the side, “well, let’s just say it’s some context for the best simp costume of the night.”
you can’t help but frown at the strange category — out of all the halloween costume competitions you’ve been to, “best simp” has certainly never been one that you’ve seen before
“just wanna remind everyone that this is just a costume competition, everything is based off the costume you’re wearing.” jimin adds, taking a slip of paper out of his back pocket before unfolding it with nimble fingers, “so, uh- you know. don’t take anything seriously, you know? just gotta loosen up and have fun.”
your brows dip slightly at the weird disclaimer
…
something about this doesn’t feel right.
“dear j, this is something that i’ve wanted to tell you for a while but have never had the courage to until now. throughout our entire friendship, you’ve been so kind and loyal and honest with me, and i think that you deserve the same, so this is me being honest with you.” jimin speaks into the microphone, reading the words off the slip of paper with a tone of amusement laced in his powder-soft voice, “to be honest, i’ve liked you for nearly a year now, and i’ve tried so many times to push those feelings down but it’s clear that my feelings aren’t going anywhere anytime soon…” he recites, a smirk twitching at the corner of his mouth as he puts the piece of paper down, “any thoughts on who the winner could be? or should i keep going?”
your eyelids flutter slightly at the weird change in mood of the lines and a strange feeling of familiarity of those words
“me at that one hot english professor.” a voice pipes out from the crowd and that gets a round of laughter
you laugh along politely, but you can’t help but feel as though something is off
something is off
something is very, very off
“i cherish you as a friend and the last thing i want to do is to make things weird, so… you don’t have to worry about my feelings, you know?”
oh my god.
you feel the blood immediately drain from your face when you finally realize why these lines are so familiar — it’s because they’re from the note you wrote for jungkook when you were going to tell him you liked him.
your brain begins to work overtime to figure out how the hell jimin got his hands on that note and why the hell he’d think it’d be okay to read it aloud to this massive group of people and what the hell he’s even doing right now
“what i’m trying to say is that i like you, j. i like you so much that i don’t know where to even put my feelings, and i’m sick of holding my feelings back and pretending that i’m fine with being just your friend.”
you know that jimin’s never really been a fan of you, but even this seems like too much of a dickhead move even for him
you pluck at the cuff of your sleeve anxiously, tracing your steps all the way back to the day you were going to tell jungkook about your feelings for him and the note that you’d accidentally given him that you were hoping was rotting away somewhere in a dump yard but clearly isn’t
jungkook said he’d given ji-eun the note to spit her gum out into
but what if she uncrumpled the paper and saw the note?
and what if jimin was there when she uncrumpled the note?
and then they read it together and ji-eun mentioned that you were reciting this aloud in the bathroom and-
your heart starts to race in your chest and you feel the hairs prickle on your arms as anxiety begins to bubble in your stomach, and you know that no one’s looking at you but you feel like everyone’s looking at you
you feel sick
you feel like you’re going to throw up and explode at the same time
“how could you like someone for a year and not tell ‘em?” jungkook snorts, nudging you with his elbow, “who do you think the poor sucker is who said that?”
“beats me.” you breathe out, feeling yourself shrink slightly when you notice jimin starting to scan the audience, clearly laser-focused on finding you, “i have to- um, i think i need some fresh air, it’s a little warm in here-“
“oh- okay-“ jungkook doesn’t get the chance to say much else before you’re turning around, pushing yourself through the crowd of people and trying your best to stay calm
just breathe
in and out
in and out
in and out in and out in and out oh my god HURRY UP MOVE MOVE MOVE-
you’re sure that no one will notice if you slink out through the back
and you can always text namjoon later and say that it was great spending time with him but you had a personal emergency and needed to leave the party earlier
and if jimin decides to expose you, at least you’ll be gone and out of this house and nowhere near any of these people and you don’t have to look at their stupid sympathetic faces and you don’t have to deal with-
“and the best simp of the night goes to our lovely corpse bride.”
you freeze when the spotlight lands on you, your heart going a hundred miles a minute as it starts to beat harder and faster in your chest
you only manage to turn your head weakly to glance over your right shoulder, catching jimin in your peripheral view before you’re slowly twisting around to face him, feet glued to the ground
“why don’t you come up here and accept your sash, corpse bride?” jimin smirks, plucking the satin sash from (a shocked looking) taehyung’s arms before raising it up in the air slightly, “congratulations on winning, you get two free drinks from the bar. one for you and one for… well, probably also you. get on up here and claim your coupons!”
you feel your face burning bright red in humiliation and you’re unable to tear your eyes away from jimin, your hands clenched into tight fists at your sides
this is a nightmare
this is actually a nightmare
this is traumatising in so many ways
the music seems to quiet down, a loud silence washing over the room as people look at you with expressions of confusion on their faces, everyone clearly a little thrown off at the weird category
eyes, there are just a million pairs of eyes on you and you feel like you can’t move or breathe or even do anything but stand still in shock
it’s only then that you notice the calculating look on jungkook’s face, his eyelids fluttering slightly before his eyes widen and his head snaps up and over to look at you
his lips part slightly as his eyes dart over the features of your face and you feel your entire body flushing in humiliation and shame, forcing your eyes away from your friend and back to the dickhead on the stage
“you are really something else, park jimin.” you manage to mutter out before turning on your heel and pushing your way through the crowd, people stepping aside to let you out
“aw, where are you going? you had a great costume, that’s all we were trying to say!” jimin laughs, actually laughs into the microphone before shrugging, tossing the sash over his shoulder before moving on, “alright, well, more drinks for me, i guess. the next category is best couple’s costume-“
“y/n- y/n, wait!” jungkook’s voice is the one thing you hear among the music and bustle of the crowd but he’s the last person you want to talk to right now so you pick up your pace upon spotting the front door
tears blur your vision as you finally burst out into the open air, your chin trembling as you try your best to keep your composure and not completely burst into tears
“oh my god, oh my fucking god-“ you whimper, sucking in large breaths of air
run, run, run, the only instinct you have is to run, and you reach down to yank both heels off before taking off into a sprint, the grass slightly damp beneath your bare feet
it feels very cliché to be running out of a mansion in a big poofy dress, but you can’t even take the moment to laugh at yourself because the only thing you can focus on is the fact that everything has changed completely and you’re forced to face reality a lot sooner than you would’ve liked
“y/n, come on!” you turn to glance over your shoulder to see jungkook hot on your trail, “you can’t just run away from a discussion you don’t want to have, we need to talk because we both know that things have been off since i started dating ji-eun and now-“
“okay, well, now you know, then!” your chest heaves as you come to a stop to catch your breath (you have no idea why you thought running would be a good idea, you get winded after thirty seconds on the treadmill), spinning around to face your friend who skids to a stop, tripping over his feet a little before standing up straight, “the secret’s out, jungkook. we finally solved the puzzle. i love you. i’ve loved you for so long that i don’t even remember when i started feeling this way, but all i know is i love you. you’re the first person i think of when i wake up and you’re the last person i think about before i fall asleep. i would literally drop everything i was doing if you needed me, and you’re the only person i want to spend my free time with.” all the words that you’ve been holding in for the last who knows how long finally spill out, your mouth running uncontrollably, “i love you so much that i helped you set up your date with ji-eun, i love you so much that i’m willing to run in the rain just to get you a teddy bear and a bouquet that’s not even going to me, jungkook, i-“ you blubber, reaching up to wipe at your eyes, “i don’t know what to do. there is no one else in the world i’d rather be with than you, jungkook, and i- to be honest, maybe it’s a good thing that jimin did what he did because you do deserve to know the truth and you do deserve to know how i really feel about you. if this didn’t happen i think i’d just keep it to myself for the rest of my life, but you deserve to know this. i love you, jungkook. i love you and i don’t know if i can keep being friends with you if you’re dating someone else because it’s actually killing me on the inside-“
“i love you, y/n,” jungkook breathes out, and you feel yourself letting out a breath that you didn’t even know you were holding
relief
for the first time in a long time, you feel relieved, like a massive weight’s just been lifted off your shoulders
you feel your heart soar in your chest, and suddenly it’s like all the humiliation and shame has completely washed away, and suddenly you have the feeling to run back into the house to thank jimin for doing this because you know you wouldn’t have said anything if it weren’t for this slightly traumatising experience
“i love you, i do, but… not in that way.” his shoulders droop slightly and you feel your heart beginning to crackle like a delicate glass sculpture, each splinter creating more damage than the last, “i love you like you’re the first person i call when i get good news because i know you’ll be proud of me, or when i get bad news because i know you’ll be there to comfort me. i love you, like i envision you standing next to me at my wedding fixing my tie or calming me down when whoever i end up marrying is walking down the aisle. i love you like you’ll be fun auntie y/n who spoils my kids with shopping sprees at the mall and who allows them an extra scoop of ice cream after dinner. i love you because you make me a better person, i love you because you encourage me to be the best version of myself i can possibly be. i love you because you remind me to be smart and kind and humble and honest and i trust you to be the one to put me in my place if i ever need it but i-“
“stop.” you feel nauseated hearing all of these words coming out of his mouth, telling you that he loves you because and he loves you because but not just i love you too. “just stop, jungkook.” you know that you can’t control someone else’s feelings but you can control your own reactions, and if jungkook would’ve kept rattling on you don’t know what you would’ve said but you know you probably would’ve lashed out at him
and it’s good that you finally got your answer, right? he loves you, but not in that way — not in the way that you love him
“y/n, please-“ jungkook whispers, reaching out for you, his eyebrows scrunching together when you take a small step back, wrapping your arms around yourself, “please, i can’t lose you as a friend, you mean so much to me-“
“i need some time.” you manage to force out, the sickening feeling of humiliation and shame and embarrassment and disappointment and frustration and anger swirling around in your stomach, “i just need some time.”
“how much time?”
“you should probably go back to the party.” you clear your throat quietly, offering your friend a weak smile, “i heard you and ji-eun were up for best couple’s costume. not saying that jimin rigged the system or anything, but-“
“y/n, how much time?” jungkook’s looking at you with sad puppy-dog eyes, and though it breaks your heart to see him like that, you need to put yourself first for once
every instinct inside of you screams to console jungkook, to reassure him and let him now that you’ll still be around but you just need some space from him and the whole situation
your eyes begin to water again as you press your lips together, shaking your head quietly, “i’m gonna go see if i can catch the bus home.”
»»————- 👻 ————-««
(- “the FUCK is wrong with you, huh?!” jungkook barks, slamming jimin up against the wall before grabbing two fistfuls of his shirt, “you sadistic fuck, who in their right mind would ever fucking do that to another human being?!”
“i’m the sadistic one?” jimin laughs, reaching up to wrap his fingers around jungkook’s wrists, “are you fucking serious? you’re the one whose been dangling yourself in front of y/n like a damn carrot to a starved rabbit-“
“what are you talking about?”
“you can’t stand here and honestly say that you didn’t have an inkling that y/n liked you more than a friend. i’ve seen the way you talk to her, i’ve seen the way you look at her, i’ve seen the way you are around her- you think i’m the evil one? at least i don’t take advantage of my friends who are CLEARLY head over heels in love with me and would obviously do anything i wanted them to do and ask them to help me set up a date that i’m taking someone else out on-“
“get a fucking life and mind your own damn business for once, you motherf-“)
🎙️ console y/n or call out jimin because what the hell was that?! (talk to my characters!)
📚 why not explore the rest of the library while you're here? (go say hi to yoongi and y/n in la vie en bonsai!)
💫 or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series!)
🌟 or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!)
#i'm so sorry this is so incredibly late#so so so so sosososososo endlessly sorry#mini series: smitten#bff!kook#bff!kook drabbles#jungkook fics#jungkook fic recs#jungkook university au#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook au#jungkook gifs#jungkook drabble recs#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook angst recs#jungkook one shots#jungkook headcanons#jungkook one shot recs#bts#bts fics#bts fic recs#bts jungkook#bts writer recs#bts author recs#bts smut#jungkook smut
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NOT IF IT'S YOU— PART ONE.
GENRE University AU, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Angst, Smut, Fluff
PAIRING Nerd!Heeseung x f!Reader
WARNINGS 18+ ONLY MDNI, Jealousy, Cursing, Making out, Arguing, Anxiety, Depression, Flirting, Mentions of food, Brief violence, Brief mention of alcohol, Brief mention of somnophilia, Crying (all sorts), Degradation, Breast worship, Multiple Orgasms, Squirting, Coming untouched, Heavy spit play, Light BDSM, Edging, Spanking, Oral Sex, Unprotected Sex, Cream Pie, Dry humping, Praise kink, First-time blow job, Ball sucking, Fingering, Cum eating, Ear licking, Biting, Public Sex, Light bondage, Dom!Heeseung, Brattysub!FemMC, Sub!Heeseung, Softdom!FemMC, Other OC’s
SUMMARY Befriending a nerd who wants nothing to do with you in a coding class you want absolutely nothing to do with becomes the challenge of the semester— and you’re determined to ace that shit no matter what. WORD COUNT 29k (Fic Total)
AUTHOR’S NOTE Long time no see— it’s P, the romantic at heart! This one’s for the people who play otome games, whose favorite spot on campus is the library, and who are afraid to be loved but want to love as hard as they possibly can.
Enjoy my contribution to the tropey Uni AU genre! Also wtf thank you for 1k followers (If you’re a minor please unfollow me. Idc if that puts me way back under. If you’re not, thank you, and stay tuned bc I will do something to celebrate… once I get through 6 months worth of notifications rip)
See end of part two for author’s note cont.
Masterlist, Part Two
© 2022, Heart and Fangs. All rights reserved. Do not translate or post anywhere.
“Have you ever gotten the random urge to give someone a blow job?”
You lifted your head from your notes, eyes wide and scrutinizing. Why did your friend have to be so damn loud in the library, of all places?
A scoff barely escaped your mouth before you dived back into your textbook, “There’s not a person with a dick on this university campus that deserves one from me. Why? Have you?”
“All the time, but especially when I’m on my period,” Rin confessed, “Hormones.”
“Oh, I bet.”
I don’t know how Rin finds the time to think about these things…
Your friend pouted while drumming her pencil against the communal library table as if she could hear your judgemental thoughts. There were more important things for you to worry about, clearly.
You sighed as you began to pack up your backpack to catch your most dreaded class of the semester, coding.
It was an elective you immediately regretted taking, but you swore to yourself to see it through to expand your skill set. Unfortunately, it was just a week into the semester, and the horrid feeling that you would fail a class for the first time was way too real.
Rin continued to spew nonsense, “Maybe I should check this dating app—”
You slung your backpack over your shoulder and ruffled Rin’s hair on your way to the elevators, “You are a slut, aren’t you?”
“Please stop acting like you’re not,” Rin rolled her eyes and raised her voice just enough to carry over the bookshelves and be heard by unsuspecting students, “There’s only so many otome games one can play!”
“Shhh!” You hissed at her to shut up, eyes shooting daggers at the snickering girl.
She must’ve been spying on you every time you pulled out your phone to take a break. What did she have against your little games? After your first relationship went up in flames, they were a pretty decent replacement for dating and soon became an addictive hobby.
They were great time-killers, required minimum commitments, and had a plethora of eye candy to choose from. Even if you did screw up, you just needed to wait a few days to replenish your lives. Plus, they all fit in your pocket…
And they could never break your heart like your ex had.
‘I’m gonna kill you’, You mouthed at her over your shoulder while slamming your fist against the elevator button.
Rin tapped her lips with her middle finger and sent you a flying kiss. Deep down, she hoped you’d come across a sweet boy for your own good.
While you stared at the colored lines of code on the monitor in front of you, determined to at least figure out how to embed one damn photo onto your website for tomorrow’s critique, your silent tablemate on your left tapped away at his keyboard with ease.
Everything about the guy screamed overachiever; it was 45 minutes after class had ended, and he was still working away on his project after everyone else had left.
Meanwhile, you were pretending to know what you were doing by typing in some random characters and then immediately deleting them. Being the anxiety-ridden person you were, you managed to work up a nervous sweat, your palms going numb.
Fuck, this is embarrassing. I should just leave and figure it out once I get home.
The student next to you didn’t seem to have any issues, but then again, the course you enrolled in was actually a combined class with different levels, and clearly, this wasn’t his first course in the subject. It was definitely an odd curriculum; you weren’t sure why you hadn’t read the class description more thoroughly.
“Hi! Mind if I sit here?” You asked the student earlier upon seeing the closest open seat available.
The boy didn’t say hello, he merely spared you a glance, adjusted his glasses, then resumed the staring contest with his computer screen.
“Okay…” You said with a touch of annoyance in your tone. His eyes barely shifted to your face in response, and then he was back to typing.
His standoffish attitude from the moment you walked into the class and took the closest open seat next to him irked you more than it should’ve.
It wasn’t until you sat down next to him that you were thrown off by how big the guy actually was, but even more so, the faint scent of sweet lavender wafting off of him. You weren't sure whether it was cologne or detergent, just that it somewhat reminded you of your favorite macaron flavor.
How unexpected. Well, that ruins it, you thought.
Even if the guy smelled pretty damn nice, he was snooty in your book. If he didn’t have such an aloof attitude about him, you might’ve befriended him just to reach out for notes in the class in case you got sick.
Rin often called you a prideful bitch, and you’d brush off her accusations, but deep down, you knew her words had some weight to them. Prideful was a fair adjective; your strong desire to handle your own business kept others at bay, which was great for someone like you who liked to be left to your own devices.
Though pride paired with stubbornness wasn’t necessarily the most beneficial combination when finding oneself in a pinch…
Nearly two hours of the class begrudgingly swept by, and you were still stuck on the initial steps, your brain utterly confused by the jumble of lines and coding rules you had to adhere to. It was a huge struggle to keep up with the pace the professor taught, let alone ensure the material stuck in your brain.
It also didn’t help that the boy next to you had the audacity to pull up a window of manga on the side to read while you were struggling your ass off.
You rolled your eyes and scoffed at him.
Now, the class was well over, and you still managed to convince yourself to stay even though the shit your professor covered in lecture went in through one ear and out the other.
After such a long day of stacked classes, your facade slipped, and you dropped your head into your hands. If you were honest, some of your pride slipped along with it. Since you were so busy, the last meal you had eaten was yesterday’s dinner, and you were starving. There were tons of other class assignments you hadn’t even touched yet.
You bit your lip and watched the boy out of the corner of your eye, debating for a solid minute if you should ask for help. At this point, you were just wasting precious time that could be spent running to the nearest McDonald's for a burger.
In the name of efficiency, you decided to reach out for help from the person you least wanted to ask— but just this once.
“Hey. Could you show me how to add an image to my site? I can’t figure it out even though I tried to follow the directions….”
First, you saw the boy’s brown eyes widen ever so slightly before he looked over you in consideration.
If he says no, I guess I’ll go fuck myself.
“Sure.”
Oh.
Feeling your heart flood with relief, you replied gratefully, “Thank you.”
You were taken aback when you watched him slide off his chair and drop to his knees by your side. He leaned over the edge of the table to take control of your mouse and keyboard, his attention fixed on the debauched code on your screen.
Really, you two could’ve just switched seats, but you decided to let him do his thing while you tucked your hands under your thighs and watched. Your brain was beyond trying to make sense of what he was inputting into your code.
Funnily enough, the silence between you two was even more awkward than it had been before you spoke to each other. Still, you refrained from distracting him, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.
After a minute, you decided to check him out instead.
Your eyes shifted between the computer screen and his calm, concentrated features since you hadn’t really gotten a good look at him before.
His black, wispy bangs hung just over his dark eyes, and his circular, silver-rimmed glasses sort of amplified their roundness. They held a touch of naïveté in them– but when you looked at him from the side, they were sharpened due to focus.
Admittedly, he had the softest-looking set of lips, the kind that anyone would easily be jealous of. The slope of his nose was just as cute, to your annoyance.
Your eyes trailed downwards to the pronounced curve of his throat, but just for a moment before returning your attention to the screen of code.
He was attractive in an unexpected sort of way.
It actually was kind of sweet that he’d be willing to kneel on the questionable floor of the computer lab to help you out. You wondered if he was trying to make up for ignoring you at the beginning of class.
“Is this the photo you want to add?” He hovered the mouse over the recent file in your downloads folder.
“Yeah.”
You must’ve really fucked up your code because the slowest five minutes passed before he clicked save on your program, and most of it you spent trying to act like you hadn’t been staring at him every other second.
The boy finally stood up with the slightest groan, and to your dismay, the sound went straight between your thighs.
Woah there.
“Try refreshing that,” He instructed while rubbing at his kneecaps through his jeans.
With the click of a mouse, you refreshed the program to see a jpg of your favorite Shrek meme pop up on your otherwise bare-bones-looking website.
“Wow— it actually works. Thank you,” You were unable to help yourself from beaming up at him, rather impressed at his efficiency.
He merely nodded, averting his eyes.
Was he older than you or younger? Did he work on the weekends? Have a significant other? A myriad of ridiculous questions bombarded your mind.
“What’s your name?” You asked.
That was a good, normal place to start.
“Heeseung,” he stretched his arms over his head and winced at the slightest crick of his shoulder. All your eyes could focus on were the sharp lines of his waist peeking out under the edge of his sweatshirt.
You introduced yourself as casually as you could, “My name’s ___. This really isn’t my thing, so thank you.”
“Anytime,” He said simply, rubbing at the back of his neck.
In a flash of a second, the shameless part of your mind dared to imagine how that shy expression of his might twist into one of pleasure— how his breathy sighs would fill your ears while he was hunched over, bracing himself on the table. At the same time, you pictured yourself between his long legs, mouthing kisses over his bulge, watching him twitch above you all the while.
‘Who’s the slut now?’ You could already hear Rin’s ridiculous comments; she must’ve poisoned your brain with the thought.
Feeling yourself starting to go slightly demented from the turn of events, you excused yourself and threw your supplies into your backpack to leave as quickly as you could, entirely oblivious to how Heeseung stared after you on your way out.
Heeseung meant it when he said, ‘anytime.’
From that day on, there wasn’t an instance where he didn’t hesitate to help when you asked him for it. Each day, you grew less and less hesitant to ask him for assistance which was… interesting.
What was even more unbelievable was that he never asked for anything in return, and you were so grateful, so smitten by him. The assignments you received were absolutely distressing, yet Heeseung didn’t appear to resent your requests and was always more than willing to lend you a hand. Based on your life experience, that was far from normal.
There was a question that you just had to ask a few weeks into the semester when he was helping you work on one of your projects for the nth time.
“Honestly, do you like doing this?”
Heeseung leaned back in his chair and appeared contemplative while stretching his wrists. “No. Coding is a tedious process, but if you’re referring to helping you,” He looked at you with an earnest gleam in his eyes and gave you a small smile, “Yes, I really like helping you.”
It was the first time you felt your heart skip in a while.
Right then and there, you could’ve dropped to your knees and let him use your mouth however he pleased. Fuck everyone else in the class; you would’ve done it.
On a serious note, it was unfortunate that you had nothing to offer him of value in the class.
Your creative mind worked so differently, and you two didn’t share any other classes you could help him with. So you often tried to make up for it by conversing and attempting to get to know him.
Emphasis on attempt.
The downside to your interactions was that he rarely engaged with you on the occasion, even when you tried to initiate a casual conversation with him.
“What are you always reading during class?” You glanced over at his screen curiously one day.
Heeseung was always quick to minimize the extra window when you caught him. “Nothing much, just manga. Need something?”
“What? I— No, I was just wondering,” You’d quirk a brow at him, and he’d return to his task.
Every time you came into class and took the same seat next to him, you’d greet him, and he’d greet you in return but left it at that. After assisting you with an issue, he’d always quietly turn back to his computer and pick up where he left off. Maybe you’d be able to get in a question or two, but he hardly talked up a storm.
Even when you probed him about his life, Heeseung merely gave short replies or shook off your questions. He was so difficult to get to know and apparently didn’t care to hold a conversation with you outside of coding. Still, you were insistent because you were a relatively private individual yourself. Really, you tried to understand where he was coming from.
“I’m so glad I don’t have classes after this,” a yawn escaped your lips as you covered your mouth with your hand.
Heeseung’s typing never ceased, “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” You stared at his profile, waiting to see if he’d continue the conversation. After a second too long of waiting, you asked, “Do you have any night classes?”
“I don’t. I have work.”
You perked up in your seat. “Oh? Where at?”
“I’m actually about to change jobs, so it really doesn’t matter,” Heeseung responded curtly.
You sank back into your chair. “Oh. Sorry.”
He turned to look at you as if to say something, an apologetic expression nearly taking hold of his features, but he seemingly held himself back and returned to his work.
Still, within the coming weeks, you grew curious about his family as well. One day your curiosity was at its peak, and you rattled off questions about any possible siblings he might have. That was less intrusive than asking about a significant other, right?
“So, are you an only child, or do you have any siblings?” You probed during a particularly long day and difficult class session. When one’s brain was already fried, it didn’t hurt to completely give up on figuring something out, especially if you had Heeseung.
Just for today, you promised yourself as Heeseung was clicking away at your keyboard, helping you out as usual.
“... I have a brother,” Heeseung hesitated, “Stepbrother, actually. He’s a student as well.”
“No way? Same major as you?”
“No…” and he left it at that, making you wonder if they weren’t on the greatest terms... Or if he just didn’t care to share more of his life with you.
Nonetheless, your attempts to converse with him day after day eventually took a toll on you. Clearly, you were bothering him with the questions, but it’s not like you just chose anyone to put effort into getting to know. Why couldn’t he understand that? Most people would’ve loved getting asked about their life and would easily drone on and on about themselves.
Rin would cackle at you now if she only knew of your circumstances. As if you would ever tell her with the shit way things were going.
God, I should just stick to my little otome game apps with automated responses.
After several weeks of your relationship with him going nowhere, your savior became the source of your frustration.
Guys never helped you out without an ulterior motive or expecting something in return, so it was almost inconceivable to think someone like Heeseung existed. His caring personality subverted your initial expectations of him, and you knew his selfless actions came from a sincere place, but still…
This had grown beyond needing his help in class. All you wanted to do was get to know Heeseung because you had taken a genuine interest in him.
Was that asking for a lot?
The day you walked into class and plopped into your seat without saying hello to him, Heeseung knew something was up. The boy had gotten much too used to your greetings every day.
Barely able to contain your irritation with him, you stared straight ahead at your screen and got to work, despite feeling his eyes on you.
Beside you, Heeseung was desperately trying to read your stoic expression. He’d glance at you meekly, and look back at his computer for a few seconds, only to peer over at you again.
This cycle went on for the next few minutes until you heard him greet you first, for once.
“Hey, ___–”
“Hey,” You barely spared him a look and settled back into your workflow just as swiftly.
Stumped by your odd behavior, Heeseung drew his hands into his lap and fell quiet once more.
Just when you thought he’d leave you be, Heeseung pulled up to your side in his rolling chair, that signature lavender scent of his invading your senses. His knee bumped into yours but stayed there.
“Do you need my help with anything?”
“No, thank you,” you replied coldly.
You saw him wilt out of the corner of your eye, and something vengeful in you felt good about making him feel the way you’ve felt for the past months. The other part of you just felt plain guilty.
Feeling suffocated, you abruptly left the class to get some fresh air. You were hoping the open-air foyer filled with wooden benches would grant you a moment of reprieve.
Choosing the farthest bench from the entrance, you sat down and propped up your legs, pulling your knees close to your chin. The evening breeze swept across your flushed cheeks, and you were mortified to realize tears were threatening to spill down them.
It was childish of you to reject Heeseung’s attention once you finally got it, but… you couldn’t help it. You knew the attention wasn’t due to any sort of genuine feelings toward you; it was merely your petty behavior that provoked him.
Was this how it felt to be rejected while trying so hard to befriend someone? Is this how people felt when you made them jump through a hundred hoops to get to know you?
You thought back to when you took the chance to let someone in for the first and last time. Had you just been too much? Or maybe not worth the trouble?
If that were true… maybe that was the reason your first love had cheated on you.
Old feelings bubbled up in your chest, and suddenly everything really felt like shit.
To make things worse, you were sulking. Even though Heeseung could tell something was up and was trying to diagnose the situation, he still infuriated you. If anyone had to deal with an aloof individual for as long as you did, you were sure they’d go crazy too.
Especially if they were as cute as Heeseung was.
Fuck.
There was no way you were about to cry in public over a boy, the most angelic, frustrating boy you’ve ever met.
Not everybody reciprocated people’s feelings equally, and it was simply life to deal with it. Still…
Once you buried your face into your arms, you released your pent-up emotions with a shaky breath, letting the hot tears fall and soak into your jeans. You decided to stay there for a while, long enough until you knew everyone in class would be gone, so you could rest assured no one would see your pathetic tear-stained face.
It was a good half hour after class ended before you made your way back to collect your belongings and catch the bus to head home. Somehow, you cried for the majority of it as quietly as you could.
It actually helped a bit, as it had back then.
When you pulled open the door, you froze like a deer in headlights.
Heeseung stared up at you with wide eyes from where he was sitting; he was the only one left in the class, which you hadn’t counted on.
He wasn’t waiting for you, was he?
“Um…” You trailed off and slowly turned to leave again, but he was already out of his seat, making his way toward you.
Jesus—
You were hardly ever standing next to each other, so facing him head-on at his tall stature was intimidating, even with his cardigan and those nerdy glasses of his. Perhaps it also had to do with the unfamiliar look in his eyes and the intense concern in them.
“Are you okay?” He reached out to touch your arm, but you stepped back and caught him by the shoulders, holding him back at arm's length.
Unable to look at him directly, you stared down at your shoes next to his, eyes stinging again as if you didn’t just spend half an hour crying.
Just seeing his face and hearing his voice brought on a flood of confusing emotions.
“Yeah? I-I’m fine,” You insisted.
Even though Heeseung couldn’t see your face, he saw your tears fall onto your sneakers and felt your grip curl into his shoulders.
“___, if it’s something I said or did…” Heeseung’s voice went soft, and you nearly jumped when you felt his hands slide over yours, his thumbs stroking comfortingly over your skin, “You can tell me.”
His mere touch slowly brought your anxiety down, one stroke of his thumb after the other— at the same time, it sent shivers along your skin.
It’s what you didn’t say or do.
Fear threatened to cut your voice off completely. You took several deep breaths, trying to sort out your thoughts so that you could properly convey how you were feeling.
Here was your chance to be honest with him from the get-go. It was scary, but you needed to try.
“I consider you as someone who I’m really grateful for, Heeseung. Especially after how much of your time you’ve given me this semester,” You sighed, glancing up at him even though your vision was blurry, “You’re a really talented guy. It’s just impossible to get to know you because you like to keep to yourself. I think I understand why you do. Even I don’t like letting other people in all the time...”
Something seemed to click in his mind at your words; you saw his lips part ever so slightly in realization, his eyes widening a fraction.
“... But it’s still hard to be on the receiving end of that. However, if that’s where you want me,” You pulled your hands out of his, letting them drop to your side, “Then there’s not much I can do about that.”
Quietly, you brushed past him and packed your backpack in a hurry to leave.
Heeseung fell silent behind you, and when you left him, you kept your eyes trained on the floor.
The next day, you remained in a foul mood as you chose to sit on the opposite side of your table to avoid the tension of being next to Heeseung for two hours straight. As you expected, the student who usually sat there confronted you about it.
“Hey, this is my seat. I’ve been sitting here all semester.”
You didn’t care to grant her your full attention and continued typing, “I don’t see your name on it.”
It was definitely a shitty thing to say, but you couldn’t bring yourself to give a damn at that moment.
She was stunned into silence and subsequently stomped over to the next row to take her seat next to Heeseung. There was no doubt that he overheard your confrontation.
Class sped by while you were laser-focused on completing everything you needed to get done for that period— without Heeseung’s help. At least one good thing came out of taking notes and watching Heeseung work these past several weeks; your evolving skill set. You were far from excellent, but you had gotten at least a bit better with the basics.
This time, you didn’t plan on sticking around after class.
It seemed like Heeseung was prepared for you not to because the moment you stood up and bolted to the door, he was already out of his seat, hot on your trail.
Heeseung called out your name.
You ignored him, even as he easily caught up with your pace. His silence yesterday already confirmed all you needed to know about how he felt about you.
He caught your elbow, and you stopped to look him dead in the eye. “What do you think you’re doing? Let go.”
Heeseung immediately released you, “Sorry, I just wanted to talk—“
A menacing force slammed into your back, propelling you straight into Heeseung’s chest. Someone halfway down the hall called out a sarcastic apology, but it barely registered— you were startled by how Heeseung steadied you against his hard body.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” You scowled, already shaking his hands off despite your body aching at the feeling of him so near, “What did you want now?”
Heeseung‘s eyes wavered, but he managed to hold your scrutinizing gaze.
“Do you want to grab dinner?”
He really felt the pressure of an impending ‘no’ when all you did was stare at him.
You frowned, “What?”
Heeseung gulped but continued, “You don’t have any other classes for the day, right? There’s a really good Thai place just on the edge of campus, and their Pad Thai is the best— at least within a 20-mile radius.”
Was he doing this all of a sudden because he pitied you?
“You don’t need to do this.”
Heeseung looked like he was on the verge of panicking, but just as quickly, a sense of determination overcame him.
He took a step forward, “But what if I want to?”
You looked off to the side, “I’m confused. Why all of a sudden?”
“I know it’s like I’m doing this out of the blue,” He sounded in a rush due to nerves, so he slowed down his speech, “I’m not good with words, and it’s true that I’m easily distracted by my classes. But I do care about you, ___.”
Your chest throbbed as he peered down at you from under his lashes with furrowed brows, “I know I’m usually pretty distant, and I can’t make up for everything in a night, but I really would like to talk with you over dinner… only if you want to join me.”
Heeseung’s expression appeared so hopeful, and his gaze held an amount of tenderness that had you shifting your weight under the unusual attention you were receiving.
What was that look he was giving you?
He felt you brush by him, and he hung his head.
Heeseung felt his stomach twist with guilt, he knew you wouldn’t give him a chance after how he’d been treating you—
“… Fine.”
Heeseung straightened up with wide eyes and turned to face you as you set off in the completely wrong direction.
“It’s this way,” He eagerly called after you.
You came to a quick halt, then turned back around, crossing your arms, “Lead the way then.”
He smiled to himself when he heard the unmistakable sound of your stomach grumbling ever so faintly.
Walking across campus with Heeseung was convenient because the majority of people made plenty of room for the two of you, all thanks to the giant by your side. Usually, they’d have no issue bumping shoulders with you or overlooking you.
Must be nice to be able to part seas of people, you thought enviously.
Heeseung remained quiet for the majority of the walk except for mentioning a direction here and there. All the while, you were trying to anticipate what Heeseung might have to say to you once you got to the restaurant.
The sky grew to be a deep orange by the time you entered the quaint Thai restaurant at the front of the campus. A simple aqua blue neon sign that read 01 Thai shone across asphalt above an old, cream colored building. While you considered their signature menu options, you turned Heeseung’s words over in your head.
“I do care about you, ___.”
Do you really?
“And what would you like to order?” The cashier asked you.
“Oh. I guess I’ll try the Pad Thai.”
“Anything to drink?”
“Just water, please,” You absentmindedly dug in your pocket to hand over your card, but Heeseung was already handing over his.
Your brows drew together as you quietly glanced up at him, not wanting to make a scene.
He gave you a nervous smile, “My treat.”
You looked over your shoulder for seating, “I’ll Venmo you later.”
“No need,” He shook his head, guiding you to a corner table.
“I will.”
Even from across the small wooden table, Heeseung sensed your lingering discomfort, understandably. He looked like he wanted to say something, but so did you, so he waited.
After a contemplative moment, you met his eyes and folded your hands on the table. “Heeseung, don’t tell me you're doing all this just because you feel bad.”
“No— I mean, in a way, yes. I know how I can be, and I’m sorry that you had to deal with that. I never meant to hurt you the way I did.”
I really did emotionally throw up on him yesterday, and his silence didn’t make it any better. Even now, I still feel high-strung about the whole ordeal, but he seems sorry about it…
“Listen, I get that you feel guilty, but if you really do just want to be friends, there’s no need for anything crazy. Just talking would be nice to start.”
“Right...” He stared right at you.
Your brows knit together once more at the uncertainty in his voice.
“Right,” Heeseung repeated, almost to himself, “That’s doable. Although guilt plays a significant part in driving me to do what I’m doing… Please know it’s not my only motivator.”
Heeseung startled you when he reached out to take one of your hands in his. You still looked utterly confused, so he exhaled softly before squeezing your hand and running the pad of his thumb along your knuckles, just like he did back in class.
Goosebumps immediately broke out on your skin from the heat of his touch.
Oh.
Behind his glasses, his eyes were intent; you had his full attention. “I’ve been really out of touch with people these days, and I regret it. However, I had some personal things I was working through. It’s not an excuse, but I do care about you, ___. I hope you can eventually find a way to forgive me.”
At his sudden admittance, your heart rate began to pick up. Immediately you hated how vulnerable his words made you feel, but that also meant that they were real. His forwardness rendered you genuinely speechless; even your mind drew a blank.
It seemed like he could sense it.
“I-I see,” You stared at your daintier hand in his own, then looked back up at Heeseung’s keen gaze.
His brows drew together, and his lips curled upwards ever so slightly, “Am I making you nervous?” He sounded like he was making a discovery.
Heat immediately flooded your face once more, and you took your hand back out of embarrassment.
He gnawed on his lip, his eyelids lowering a fraction, “Sorry.”
A waitress pulled up to your table with a tray of steaming bowls, and Heeseung thanked the waitress as she left while you reached for a pair of chopsticks.
“What kind of question is that?” You mumbled while you picked at your noodles. Your brain was failing to make sense of Heeseung’s feelings towards you.
He didn’t let up.
“You make me really nervous, ___,” Heeseung dared to reveal in a low voice.
As he expected, his declaration drew your attention back to him. Your eyes narrowed at Heeseung, who wore a small yet knowing smile, clearly trying to get a rise out of you.
Is this really the same guy who chased me down to grab dinner with him?
Little did you know the boy sitting across from you was attuned to your every movement— from the quickened pace of your breath to the twitch of your leg when his knee brushed against yours underneath the table.
Naturally, he would be after spending so much time at your side for the past couple of months, taking note of your little habits and mannerisms.
He also knew you’d be skeptical for a while after this, that it would take time to prove his sincerity once more. Heeseung was willing to overcome that by any means.
When Heeseung realized he had stunned you into silence, he finally looked down at his own plate. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop teasing. Let’s eat before it gets cold.”
“Agreed,” You were grateful for the change of subject because you just barely survived his sudden undivided attention. Also, you were beyond famished.
All the while, your mouth was watering at the sight of the food, so you took a bite of the Pad Thai and savored the flavorful spices on your tongue. It was pretty damn good, Heeseung had taste. One bite of noodles, and suddenly, you felt as though you were gaining back your senses.
He’s kind of flirty, isn’t he?
After several more bites and a nice gulp of cold water, you felt ready to hold a proper conversation.
“Don’t bullshit me anymore, Heeseung,” You commented, propping your chin up on your palm.
He chuckled softly, and you squinted his way.
“I’ll try my best, ___.”
Over dinner, Heeseung allowed you to delve into his mind, which was certainly a treat.
Not without difficulty, of course.
His answers remained vague unless you pressed further; it was like pulling teeth, but you could tell he was trying. With enough persistence, he divulged you.
“Do you just really like to keep a low profile?” You asked, referencing his deflection of your attempts at conversing with him during class, “I mean, I figured you just found me annoying.”
Heeseung slowly began, “I wasn’t in the best headspace this semester. Things at my old job weren’t going well at all, and those issues combined with the stress of my classes resulted in me feeling very closed off from my surroundings.”
You scratched your cheek. “I see. How does that usually affect you?”
“I tend to isolate myself under pressure, and it becomes difficult for me to connect with… well, those around me,” Heeseung explained, running his fingers back and forth over the grain of the tabletop.
“Hm, that’s tough. Honestly, you always seem like you have your shit together.”
Heeseung shook his head, “It’s… a facade of sorts.”
“Well, a lot of people have one,” Your eyes wandered down to your plate, it had been scraped clean for a while.
The shop was empty save for you two, it must’ve been growing closer to closing time, what with the moonlight shining through the windows.
“Yeah? What’s yours?”
Ah, now it’s his turn to take a shot at me.
Being vulnerable was difficult, especially with all of Heeseung’s attention on you. Silence fell over you two, but he waited, even when it felt like you weren’t going to speak.
“Probably enjoying being alone. Not that I don’t, but it depends on how I’m feeling that day. I see independence and loneliness as two sides of the same coin.”
It was the truth, to an extent. You enjoyed the benefits of being independent, but there was a fine line between that and being lonely.
“It’s a normal human thing to go through,” You shrugged.
It’s how I’ve always been, and it usually keeps me safe. But I can’t believe I just admitted that to another person, let alone Heeseung. Though that’s the whole point of this conversation, isn’t it?
“Um, anyways…“
“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel lonely.”
Your eyes flitted to Heeseung’s expression; he seemed cautious yet sincere.
“Don’t be. It’s not your responsibility to make me feel otherwise.”
It was a difficult realization to come to, and as such, you gave a detached response. In due time you’d have to see if he meant everything that he said.
With an inward sigh, you felt disappointment replace the anger that had been slowly filtering out of your system for the past hour. Heeseung was willing to try to be friends, which was more than you could’ve asked for, so deep down, you fought your desire for him. You were being given the chance to take things day by day and come to terms with the reality of your situation.
“Besides, being lonely is a good skill to have. It’s weird to say out loud, but I really think it is,” You stated, glancing out the window into the dimly lit streets, “It’s useful and easier than most people think.”
When Heeseung said nothing in response, you turned to look at him once more, wanting to hear his voice.
Something from him, anything.
Instead, you met those dark brown eyes behind his glasses; they contained a mix of something you couldn’t place and a tinge of sadness, but most surprisingly– knowing.
You fidgeted with the hairband on your wrist. “What? What’s wrong?”
Heeseung spoke, “Nothing… What do you mean?”
His question seemed hollow as if he feigned confusion; his eyes told you everything yet nothing, all at once– like he could see right through you.
You shook your head, voice coming out as a whisper, “I don’t know… You’re making me nervous again.”
“Sorry,” Heeseung blinked and shifted his eyes elsewhere, and suddenly you felt like you could breathe, but just barely.
He distractedly removed his glasses to pinch at his nose bridge, and that’s when your breath caught in your chest.
A slight smile tugged at your lips, “Hey, you look different without your glasses.” You were apt to change the subject.
“Oh, really?” Heeseung moved to adjust them back in place quickly.
“Wait,” you leaned over the table and placed your hand on his to stop him, wanting a better look, “You look really handsome. Not that you don’t with them on, but….”
Heeseung noted how intrigued you looked, the fascination brightening your features. It was certainly a contrast to the way you regarded him just a moment before. “I’ve worn glasses my whole life. I don’t look odd without them?”
“No, but I think you’re cute either way—“ You curiously brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes, and his brows rose in surprise.
Upon realizing what you had done, you promptly sat back in your seat and stuffed your hands in your pockets.
“I— You just look different,” You tried to cover up your embarrassment with a smile.
You hadn’t intended on getting touchy, but you just couldn't help it. Then again, he comfortably initiated way more physical contact with you today than he had all semester.
Heeseung quietly glanced off to the side, and then his eyes were back on you without a moment’s notice, observing.
Ah, there’s that churning sensation in my stomach again.
Even though you could see his eyes clear as day, you couldn’t read him as easily this time.
“Thanks,” His eyes flitted away as he fixed his glasses back in place.
Uh-oh. Did I mess up? Did I turn him off by touching his hair? Or with my comments on his appearance?
“We better go, I think they’re closing,” You rubbed your cheek while throwing your backpack over your shoulder, “Thank you for dinner.”
“Sure. Thanks for hearing me out… and for sharing,” Heeseung led you to the door and held it open for you.
His voice sounded odd, almost tight.
“Yeah...”
It had been a rollercoaster of a day so far; you weren’t sure what kind of note you were going to end it on.
The brisk night air hit your skin and made you shudder. You turned towards the bus stop across the street, anticipating an arrival soon, “I’m headed over here. I guess I’ll see you in class?”
When you glanced back over your shoulder, Heeseung was looking after you in such a way that caused you to freeze. His demeanor had shifted from the start of dinner to now like there was a barely tamed intensity about him. He felt unpredictable— he even seemed on edge.
What was going on? Maybe you really stepped on his toes earlier with your comment about his glasses. It certainly wasn’t your intention; you meant it as a compliment.
He could’ve been self-conscious about it, you idiot!
Heeseung gave you a curt nod, “Get home safely, okay?”
You frowned.
“Okay…” You paused before giving him a quick hug.
Next to free food and a bit of communication, hugs diffused most escalating situations, right?
But even to you, it felt like a blur; you barely gave him enough time to return it, and then you were slipping out of his grasp just as quickly as you had drawn close.
“Bye,” You whispered.
Taken aback, Heeseung dropped his arms to his sides as he watched you jog across the street to board the bus that arrived a moment before and nearly took off without you.
He inhaled deeply.
Now, his whole body ached.
Oh, he hated you even more for that.
The cold suddenly seeped into his skin. It hadn’t affected him until you left his side.
Your bus took off just as his phone faintly vibrated in his pocket. He lost count of how many times it had gone off during his dinner with you, but he hardly paid it any attention. He ignored it for the past two months but couldn’t bring himself to block the number.
Finally, he decided to answer it.
“Heeseung! Do you know how many times I’ve called you today? And the day before? Over the past eight fucking weeks? We were supposed to meet–”
“I was at dinner—” Heeseung immediately kicked himself for even sparing an excuse. There was no need to anymore. “Please stop calling me.”
His thumb hovered over the button to hang up and block her number; he should’ve done it earlier.
“Don’t do this to me, love.”
Anger slithered up his veins, “How else do you expect me to act after all that you’ve done?”
“What you saw wasn’t what it looked like—“
Beep—
That’s what she’d said in the hundreds of voicemails she left, or so he guessed. Listening to one was sufficient.
From that day on, Heeseung dialed back on the forwardness he displayed in terms of physical contact with you, and you couldn’t figure out why for the life of you. However, your conversations in class were plentiful and on friendlier terms, save for the interesting underlying tension that persisted through his frequent teasing comments and lasting stares.
That’s not to say there was a complete absence of flirtatious touching, he simply wasn’t as outright with it. But you noted each subtle instance with amusement whether it was a tap on the shoulder, a bump to the knee or an accidental brush of hands when he’d reach for your mouse.
He seemed somewhat back to normal compared to how you left him that one night, but something definitely changed between you two.
On the other hand, you soon discovered the breadth of his sense of humor. The off-handed, dry comments he’d whisper about some odd gesture or explanation the professor would make had you snorting in your seat— turns out you weren’t the only one who occasionally got annoyed with the way your professor taught.
Even so, together, you both managed.
Thai food after class became a routine for you both, a couple of times a week. Ever since Heeseung made an effort to open up, sometimes you’d talk up until the last bus was available for you to catch if he didn’t have work, and other times, you’d work on assignments together.
For every question you asked him, it tickled you that he had one for you of equal measure. These brief moments with Heeseung stood out from your otherwise mundane campus life. Unfortunately, things didn’t always go according to plan.
One evening, a meeting with your advisor concerning your schedule for next semester ran over time significantly and you were 30 minutes late to your dinner at 01 Thai with Heeseung.
The frigid air lashed across your face the moment you stepped outside the administration building causing you to wince. It was an evening filled with storm clouds, and the sun had long set; it was starting to get darker earlier in the day. You reached into your pocket to update Heeseung on your whereabouts but let out a frustrated grunt when you realized your phone had died on you.
Fuck.
The restaurant was on the complete other side of campus so you decided to cut through a back way that was a bit more obscure but quicker than usual. The first droplets of rain hit your skin before it turned into an outright downpour by the time you were half way across campus.
Just my luck.
There weren’t a whole lot of shaded areas along the buildings in the back route you took so you braced yourself through the chill until the droplets began to feel like ice pellets. It was too much so you chose to take shelter when you came upon the first shaded area that came into view near the back exit of a building.
Something on the floor caught your eye as you quickly approached. A dog with soaked fur was curled up on its stomach and appeared to be breathing irregularly. On instinct, you kneeled down to run your hand over its fur, and it let out a thin whine.
“Oh, you poor thing. Where’s your owner?”
You felt along its furry chin for a tag and found purchase in a sleek, black collar. However, there was no tag with an owner's contact to be found.
Maybe it’s a high-tech tracking collar?
With your back against the wall, you slid down to sit for a moment, enduring the mist that the wind blew against you both, cradling the dog close. “I don’t think the rain will let up any time soon… You don’t wanna come with? You just wanna stay here and wait for your owner, huh?”
The dog merely blinked up at you.
“Alright, then you need this more than I do. Hopefully they’re just around the corner…”
You shrugged off your jacket and used it to dry off the pup a bit before swaddling it in the fabric. After you finished and went to scratch its chin, it licked your palm non-stop.
“You’re welcome,” You stood up with a giggle and readjusted your backpack. Although it was storming, if you let Heeseung wait any longer it would give him the wrong idea.
You received stares from other students the moment you stepped through the restaurant doors since the single layer of your T-shirt was soaked through. Immediately you crossed your arms over your chest but made a beeline towards Heeseung who sat in the corner.
He looked you over with concern.
You couldn’t help but stutter from the cold, “S-sorry. My meeting ran late with my advisor and my phone died—“
“It’s okay, I figured. Weren’t you wearing a jacket in class earlier?”
“I—I may have given it away…”
“To who?”
“To a dog I saw on the way here…?”
You realized how ridiculous it sounded once you said it out loud, but the soft spot you had towards canines made you do silly things from time to time.
Heeseung raised a brow at that, “Did you just lose it?”
“Sure, I lost it on this awfully cold day, ” You rolled your eyes.
Heeseung shook his head with a snort, and tugged his hoodie over his head, “Well, why don’t you change out of that?”
A chill racked through your body but you brushed it off, until you glanced down to see your shirt plastered to your body and around the prominent outline of your black bra.
“Um….”
“Here,” Heeseung deposited his hoodie into your arms before you could refuse, “I’ll ask them for a plastic bag to hold your clothing. Your food just came out, so go change.”
“Thanks.”
As you ignored the stares from others occupying the restaurant and clicked the restroom door shut, you gave yourself a once over in the mirror.
There really wasn’t a spot on you that wasn’t damp. You stripped out of your top and bra then proceeded to squeeze them out over the sink before tossing them into a plastic bag. You dried down as much as you could with a wad of paper towels then tugged Heeseung’s hoodie over your head.
Immediately, you were enveloped by his scent; a light sweetness with new undertones of soft musk you hadn’t detected before. The fabric was still warm against your skin with his body heat which made you feel odd.
You slowly tugged the collar up to your nose then dropped the fabric abruptly.
Let’s not make this weird. It certainly beats being cold and wet.
Heeseung eyed you once you remerged. “I ate already and was about to go looking for you to drop off your food.”
You plopped down across from him. “Yeah, sorry. Do you have to go soon?”
He glanced at his phone screen. “In about 10 minutes, for work. I’ll hang out for a while, though.”
“You don’t wanna work on an assignment while I eat?”
Heeseung pressed his cheek against his palm and leaned onto his elbow, his languid eyes on you, “Mm-mm.”
You stared at him before proceeding to shovel the tasty noodles into your mouth, “Okay.”
Heeseung chuckled, “How’d your meeting go?”
“Fine, I guess. My advisor thought he screwed up and almost made me think I had to take an extra two classes, but we straightened that out. I’m on track, and I’ll have a decent load to finish off next semester since it’s my last.”
Heeseung looked like he was in thought as you shared your schedule with him.
“None of those classes ring a bell.”
That fact bummed you out, more than you’d ever show. “Oh, really? What’s your semester looking like next year?”
“Hm, since it’s my last semester too, I’m thinking of going for an internship, it’s about time.”
You dabbed at your lips with a napkin, “That’s actually really good. I need to do that…”
“It’ll help when you apply for jobs, for sure.”
The impending doom of your future weighed heavily on your shoulders, and Heeseung seemed to notice you suddenly felt burdened.
“So, you like dogs?”
You glanced up mid-chew, “I do!”
“Did you really give a dog your jacket?” Heeseung squinted.
“Would you believe me if I said yes?”
“Maybe the second time around,” He was amused at how you pouted, “What breeds do you like?”
“I like all breeds. The funniest dogs are ones that are like humans. During last thanksgiving there was this one dog at my aunt’s that wouldn’t let me pet him at first. So, I let him be and sat in the living room alone, but every so often he would saunter in and get closer to me every time,” You laughed at the memory, “Then eventually he got so close, I just stuck my hand out and he pressed up against me for pets. Finicky but adorable…”
Heeseung cleared his throat, and wore a sheepish expression, “Sounds like it… You don’t own any dogs?”
“Not yet. I’m saving up and waiting ‘till I’m done with school. I want to be able to give it the attention it deserves.”
“I think that’s smart.”
You sighed, “Yeah… I wish I had one.”
As you finished your food, Heeseung finally said what was truly on his mind.
“You should be more careful about walking around campus without a working phone. It gets dark faster these days,” He began.
His scolding caught you off guard.
“I am cautious, I’m not dumb,” You interrupted, “And I didn’t mean to. I would’ve charged it in the library or something but I didn’t want to keep you waiting—“
“It would’ve been fine if you left me waiting a little longer to do that. It’s such a big campus where anything could happen when you least expect it, so you should always have your phone on,” Heeseung motioned for you to hand over your phone, “And I know you know that.”
You pouted but dropped it into his hand, and he connected it to a portable charger he took out of his backpack, “Alright, mother.”
Heeseung sighed but gave you a small smile anyways.
“Are you still at your old job or did you start your new one already?” You asked since Heeseung felt at liberty to say what he wanted.
Heeseung’s eyes turned troubled. “Still there. Just for a little while longer.”
You pressed, “Where do you work?”
Heeseung’s lips parted to answer but he seemed to think better of it.
“It’s not the greatest place,” Heeseung checked his phone and stood up, “Sorry, I’ve gotta go. See you.”
You bit your tongue. “Won’t you get all wet if you’re walking to work?”
“Uber,” was all he said with a tight smile, “Don’t worry about it. Get home safe.”
Heeseung left you his charger as he stepped outside into the rain, the deep slope of his shoulders inciting a sense of regret in you. Perhaps you shouldn’t have pushed him on the topic when it was clearly sensitive for him. He didn’t deserve your snappy attitude after he expressed his worry for you either… but you knew he wouldn’t hold you to it because that’s the kind of person he was.
When you weren’t grabbing dinner with Heeseung, there were evenings when you would pour over your studies and meet Rin in the library, like you always had.
“So, how are your otome games going? On to the next one?” She questioned.
Oh shit. You’ve been neglecting your pixel husbands basically since the start of the semester—
“I actually haven’t touched any games in a while.”
“Really now?” Rin seemed unsurprised at such a revelation as she continued, “How about that coding class? These days you seem less stressed about it….”
“Yeah, I finally picked up a thing or two. There’s actually this guy who’s been—“
Rin jumped out of her seat and pointed at you accusingly, the screech of her chair drawing annoyed looks from other students.
“I’ve been fucking waiting for you to bring him up!”
Your eyes widened, “Wait, how do you—”
“Shhhh!” Someone hushed.
You both put your heads together and dropped your voices to a whisper.
“How do you know Heeseung?”
Rin explained everything in detail, perhaps too much detail. Figuring out Heeseung consulted her the day you cried in front of him made your face burn.
Apparently, he hung out enough in the library to recognize Rin as your friend, although you certainly had never seen him while studying.
“Truthfully, at first, I was mad at the guy for upsetting you; the dude was too honest for his own good and actually told me he was in deep shit with you. I nearly caused a scene in here, but he seemed really apologetic and genuine about wanting to make things right with you.
So, I told him food was the way to your heart, but I warned him you’d be a little stuck up about paying for yourself. Seriously, you have the weirdest eating schedule just to achieve ‘optimal efficiency’ and avoid ‘brain fog’ or whatever,” Rin grinned.
Well, she wasn’t wrong. Free food definitely helped on top of everything else Heeseung managed to pull off since then.
“I appreciate that, but I can’t believe you knew about everything the entire time,” You felt a tad guilty for not looping her in on the situation, having thought she would’ve teased you about it, “And that he actually went out of his way to ask you about me….”
You couldn’t help but look at him a little differently now. He was serious.
“Well, I only knew what happened up until that day, but you seemed better these past several weeks, so it looks like my advice worked.”
You slid further into your seat and stared up at the ceiling, “Yeah, I suppose it did.”
“I didn’t want to ruin anything, so I stayed quiet. He’s very cute,” She grinned at you.
You paused, “We’re just friends.”
“What? All that drama for a friendship?”
“Hm…”
Rin rose an impeccably plucked brow at you.
“Yes,” You sighed, patting her head.
Your friend pouted, “I would’ve guessed otherwise, girl. There’s still time, though.”
Was there?
Soon enough, another month had flown by— finals were around the corner, and both you and Heeseung were typing up code for your class project when you ran into your first distressing issue in a while.
You called to him without taking your eyes off the screen, “Hey, something’s off, and I can’t figure out what. I swear if it’s just an extra period somewhere, I’m gonna—“
Heeseung was at your side in a heartbeat, “Let me see.”
You scooted your chair over to make room for his, but he got comfortable on the floor. “Stop kneeling. You know you’re gonna permanently fuck up your kneecaps, right?”
“I’m used to it,” He said simply before he froze up as if he had said something wrong.
Assuming that he was poking at you, you scoffed, “I don’t ask you for help that often anymore, Hee.”
Heeseung cleared his throat and got to work on your code, “No, I know.”
While you waited for him to finish diagnosing the issue, you secretly inhaled his familiar, comforting scent of sweet lavender out of habit.
You saw him smirk out of the corner of your eye.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Seriously, what?”
He shrugged, “You’re doing that thing you do every time I get close.”
Fuck. When did he even– Fuck—
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The tapping of keys halted.
A mischievous lilt made its way into his voice as he faced you, “We’re gonna go that route?”
“Yes. Yes, we are because you are not going to out me here,” You hissed under your breath.
“Ha, so you admit that you do take a whiff—“
You took hold of his jaw and forced him to face your computer screen, “Focus.”
Heeseung eyes darkened, but he let out a chuckle.
You were pressing two fingers to your temple and looking anywhere but at him, so you failed to notice. For the moment, you put aside your pride and stayed quiet until he figured out what the hell was wrong with your project.
God, how embarrassing.
A few keyboard and mouse clicks later, and Heeseung was settling back into his seat. “It was an extra period on line 976.”
“Of course it was,” You rolled your eyes and heard him laugh even harder. He was quick to figure out how often he could test your patience…
“Why do you always smell like pastries?” Your sudden question came out as an accusation.
At this point in your friendship, you found yourself blurting out random things that were on your mind when with Heeseung, and he managed to learn how to go with the flow.
“I bake in my spare time,” He said, clearly amused.
You gawked at the new discovery, “I—I guess that explains it….”
“I’ve always baked, it’s sort of just a hobby I never thought to share.”
You swore there was always something to learn about the guy, even at the quick rate that you’d gotten to know him.
“Well, what do you do with all the stuff you make? Keep them all for yourself?” You jabbed at Heeseung.
“No, I just…” His voice quietly tapered off, so you were unable to catch his last words.
“You what?”
“I’ll just give it away to the homeless on the street if I deem it edible,” He muttered.
“Huh,” You turned to Heeseung, “That’s actually really sweet.”
“It’s nothing,” He pressed his lips together and continued, “By the way, I just started my new job, and my shift is in the evening, so… we’re going to have to postpone Thai nights.”
“Oh. You started your new job finally?” Your heart and stomach dropped; you were so looking forward to it before you’d have to really buckle down for finals, “I guess we’ll have to postpone them. The timing, though….”
Postpone them until when? The two of you had completely different tracks from here on out. Would he even want to hang out with you next semester when there was nothing else to bind your schedules together?
Heeseung leaned over to rest his elbows on his knees, appearing contemplative while watching you cycle through the endless thoughts in your mind.
“I work at this new cafe about ten minutes away from campus. Do you want to drop by and check it out after class? If you want, you could study there until I get off, and then we can have dinner at my place.”
Dinner at his place?
He saw the way your eyes blew up, and he couldn’t tell if it was in shock or excitement.
“Don’t feel pressured, it was just a thought,” Heeseung brushed off a piece of lint on your knee, his touch lingering, “I get off at around 10:00, so it’d be a later-than-usual dinner.”
“S-sure,” Your voice pitched unusually high, and you nearly threw up in your mouth.
Geez, calm down!
Heeseung looked pleased as he stood up from his desk and slung his backpack over his shoulder, “Shall we?”
The moment you stepped foot in the new cafe, your body appreciated the drastic change in temperature inside, the weather was extremely chilly these days. Didn’t change the fact that you’d order something iced, though.
“Take a look at the menu, I need to get changed, and I’ll be right out to make you something to drink,” Heeseung ushered you further into the store, his hand at your lower back.
“No problem,” You held Heeseung’s warm gaze and forgot to breathe.
As Heeseung set off to the back, you exhaled and took in the bright, cozy interior of the cafe along with its high ceilings. Evening light filtered through the tall windows, casting the whole place in warmth.
What a nice cafe to work at. I could study here more often too.
The aroma of ground coffee beans and sweet pastries filled your nose, causing your brain to perk up at the thought of caffeine even though it was evening. The people that occupied the space were relatively quiet– the seats were mainly filled with a few students and young professionals.
An empty table was waiting for you in the corner, so you set down your belongings there and pulled out your wallet. Curious about their menu, you returned to the counter to consider the items.
A handsome, light-haired young man eagerly approached from behind the bar upon seeing you, “Hi there! What can I get for you?”
Your brain raced for an answer even though you were supposed to wait for Heeseung. “Um, I’ll try the iced matcha latte….”
“Perfect,” He gave you a thousand-watt smile, “Anything else I can get you? We have macarons that we bake daily.”
“Sure,” You considered the colorful rows of macarons behind the glass counter, “I’ll try a lavender one and a vanilla bean.”
As the boy picked out your macarons, you imagined how Heeseung might look like working his shift here, from his mannerisms to his barista skills and if he dealt with customers easily or not. It was something you’d never thought of previously since you had no clue about his work.
“I threw in a couple of other popular flavors on the house,” the boy gave you a wink, making you blush unexpectedly.
“Oh, thank you so much!”
The barista took a step to his right without taking his eyes off you and bumped right into Heeseung, who suddenly appeared. You noticed he looked especially cute in his work uniform, somehow fitting your exact image of how a barista would look in his white button-down and his chestnut-colored apron. A smile made its way onto your face; his glasses completed the coffee connoisseur look.
“Sorry, man—“
“Hey, no worries. I’ll ring her up,” Your eyes widened at the slight insistence in Heeseung’s voice that left no room for argument, “Jake, meet ___.”
“Hey,” Jake gave you a little wave, despite looking a bit confused at why Heeseung intercepted.
“___, this is my friend Jake. He also goes to our University,” He mentioned while tinkering with the cash register.
You took out your card and gave Jake a shy smile, “Oh, nice. Great to meet you.”
He winked at you, “Likewise.”
Apparently, only hot people work here, you surmised.
You thought you saw Heeseung pout at the exchange between you and Jake, but whether or not he actually did, he ignored your card and handed over your bag of macarons, swiftly stepping away to prepare your drink.
“Wait, I need to pay—“
“I’ve got you. It’ll just be a few minutes,” he called over his shoulder and got to work.
Your cheeks grew warm.
Why did he have to act so sweet sometimes?
“I mean, I knew you had a girlfriend, but you should’ve told me she was dropping by,” Jake chuckled as he pulled up by Heeseung’s side.
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“She’s not?” Jake questioned.
“But I’m interested in her,” Heeseung clarified while frothing your matcha latte a bit too aggressively.
“Aw,” Jake moped, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, “That’s too bad, she’s kinda….”
When it went silent, Jake playfully glanced over at Heeseung, who was staring him down. He slapped him on the back, “Only messing with you, dude.”
“Right.”
Just as you finished unpacking and settling in at the corner table, Heeseung approached with your matcha latte in hand and set it down in front of you.
“That was quick,” You felt giddy getting the special treatment.
“Give it a try, and let me know if it needs anything.”
You stirred the pretty green liquid with the straw and took a sip, glancing up at Heeseung as you did so. Heeseung bit his lip and tilted his head expectantly.
“It’s perfect.”
“Good, just let me know if you need anything,” He smiled, but before he could leave, you caught his sleeve.
“Wait, have a macaron before you go. Jake gave me a lot,” You randomly chose the dusty pink one that smelled like roses and held it up for him to take.
Instead, he drew close, placing his hand on the back of your chair to steady himself, parted his lips, and waited. You glanced up at him to check if he was joking, but the glimmer in his eye said otherwise.
Woah—
Brain on autopilot, you fed it to him, and he took a bite out of the fresh macaron.
He licked at his lips and smirked at you, “Thanks.”
After he disappeared behind the counter, you dropped your forehead into your hand, flabbergasted. You just knew your face was so red.
This crazy ass—
What, did he expect you to finish the remainder of the macaron?
This was too much for you to handle– Heeseung was too much for you to handle today.
And, of course, you finished it.
Two hours flew by at your table while you were jamming to some nostalgic tunes in your own little world while studying for your upcoming finals.
Feeling the urge to stretch, you took off your headphones and extended your stiff limbs with a wince.
Condensation ran down your empty glass of matcha, and you had finished nibbling on your macarons earlier. Besides the lavender and vanilla flavors you had chosen, the rose one was pretty aromatic, and the other strawberries and cream flavor Jake picked out for you was delicious. The snacks certainly whet your appetite, and now you were more than looking forward to having dinner with Heeseung… at his place.
You peered at Heeseung over the top of your laptop as he kept busy behind the espresso bar; Jake was a very charismatic cashier, as you experienced first-hand, while Heeseung was rather efficient at serving up beverages and hopping in to take orders when needed. They seemed to handle themselves well as a team, as far as you could tell from the past couple of hours.
Girls and guys often wandered in to gawk at the two, and you completely understood why. Nonetheless, it didn’t help the surge of discomfort you felt when you caught two girls checking Heeseung out from behind. There was nothing you could do but seethe in your seat.
Relax. They’re not the ones headed home with him tonight.
Ah, that reminder helped, sort of.
Now you were feeling antsy about the fact that Heeseung had invited you over in the first place. There was no way you prepared in any way, shape or form with how little heads up he gave you, but you couldn’t have easily passed up the opportunity to get a look at his place and spend more time with him.
And if he baked, he had to be a good cook, no?
The chatty girls ended up being the last customers to leave the cafe, except for you in the corner, partially anxious but mostly content because you were alone, and so was Heeseung.
After a quiet period, you were drawn from your studies when a woman who stood out from the average patron strolled into the cafe. She was dressed well enough to convince you that she was a model or at least an influencer of sorts, especially by the confident way she held herself.
Jake welcomed her warmly, and you were about to slip your headphones back on when you heard her speak, “Hello. Does Heeseung work here?”
“Yeah! Do you want me to get him for you? He’s prepping food in the back.”
“Please.”
Who is she? A friend?
Jake made his way to the back kitchens. “Hey, Heeseung! Someone’s here to see you!”
“One sec,” You heard Heeseung call.
The woman stood calmly and patiently at the counter; she appeared to be in her mid-twenties and looked sharp in all-black fashion with a set of alluring, shadowy eyes. An uneasy feeling passed through your stomach at the way she suddenly rolled her shoulders and neck— you couldn’t put a finger on it, but if it involved Heeseung, you didn’t like it.
Heeseung emerged from the kitchen doors, and you became deeply concerned at how his face went stoic upon seeing the mysterious woman. Jake sensed something was off as well and looked back and forth between the two.
“Hi. I hope I caught you at a good time. As you know, I’ve been wanting to chat,” Her tone was overtly sweet.
Heeseung rounded the counter and approached her, dropping his voice to an inaudible murmur.
Whispers were exchanged between them; you focused on trying to read their lips, but it was difficult. They were familiar with each other, that much you could tell. However, they couldn’t have looked like more complete opposites.
Feeling that you were being nosy, you stopped staring and returned to your project at hand, not wanting to overstep any further.
A sharp slap followed by a harsh clatter resounded in the empty cafe, alerting you.
Shocked, your head whipped towards the source of the noise, only to see Heeseung, whose face was angled away from you. Your sights landed on his glasses on the tile floor.
The woman standing in front of him took an easy breath, but the way she flicked her wrist gave away her rage.
Somehow, you were already standing from your seat, crossing the floor, “Excuse me. Did you just–”
The woman kept her eyes trained on Heeseung, “Mind your own business, love.”
Jake jumped in front of you, waving his hands, “Jesus— Easy, easy. I’ll handle this.”
Red filled your vision once your brain registered what had happened, but you had enough sense to stand your ground a safe distance away— for that woman’s sake.
“Get her out of here before I do it myself,” you gritted out.
Jake nodded and was quick to address the woman, “Miss, I’m not sure what’s going on, but you can’t just assault our staff. I’m going to have to ask you to leave immediately due to store policy.”
She eyed you, and her sharp expression slowly morphed into a feigned smile, startling you.
“Just one more thing,” She inclined her chin towards Heeseung, “Then we’ll chat back at my place after you wrap up here, alright, love?”
Heeseung’s gaze flickered at the woman, but he said nothing.
She sauntered up to him, much too close for anyone’s comfort, and reached out to take hold of his chin, her sharp nails gauging into his skin. Stunned, you watched him shut his eyes tightly, how his brows drew together— and then he caught her wrist before she could get any closer.
Heeseung spoke in an extremely deliberate tone, “No. This is the last time I’ll be saying this to you. We’re finished. We’ve been finished. Do you understand?”
As the woman’s fingers curled into a fist, so did yours.
“Leave. If I see you bothering any customers or staff who occupy this space, I’ll let the authorities deal with you,” He warned.
“I’ve taken care of you since we were children, Heeseung.”
The statement took you by surprise.
“We’re done talking,” Heeseung tugged her past you and Jake towards the cafe entrance. She pulled back on his grip, but he remained unfazed.
The two of you watched him take her outside and proceed to lock up the front of the store. Jake quickly followed and began to pull down the blinds as the woman pressed up against the windows. Her eyes slowly dragged over your form in the most demeaning manner.
“Talk about a crazy ex,” Jake murmured to no one in particular, pressing his back against the covered window. You exhaled heavily, speechless at the turn of events.
When you bent over to pick up Heeseung’s glasses and inspect them, you noticed a lens had cracked. One could only imagine how much the slap must’ve stung.
Heeseung touched the small of your back, “I’m really sorry you had to see that.”
Feeling left in the dark, you turned around and gave him a look of confusion, “Exactly how long has it been since you broke up with your ex?”
“Since the start of the semester,” Heeseung answered right away, “This is the first time I’ve seen her since. I don’t know how she found out about my new job.”
“And she still can’t take a hint?” Jake asked while cleaning up behind the register.
“She will now because I’m not entertaining her games.”
You felt relief, but you immediately regretted the question.
What a thing for me to ask after everything that just took place, you thought, ashamed.
“Are you okay?” Your hand was shaky when you reached out to touch his cheek.
His fingers brushed against the back of your hand in reassurance.
“I’m fine. I’ll be better once we get out of here and grab something to eat back at my place,” He managed to give you a small smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
#heeseung smut#heeseung x female reader#heeseung x reader#enhypen smut#lee heeseung smut#heeseung hard hours#enhypen hard hours#heeseung fic#heeseung ff#heeseung fanfic#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen fanfic#enhypen ff
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Class Selection
Levi was a young software engineer freshly graduated from university and set up in a nice job at one of the best tech companies in Sydney. Whilst Levi loved his job his real passion was in gaming and he'd been waiting 6 months for a new MMO to drop. He'd heard it allowed him to link his character from his PC to the real world and engage in community events from his phone whilst he was out.
Levi sat down at his PC watching the linking app install on his phone, he got a quick notifications about Beta functions but he just brushed it off ignoring the message entirely knowing most games like this release in a public beta version for at least a few months.
He was too excited to start playing ShiftOnline. Levi opened up the launcher on his PC and linked it to his phone. He saw a blank character sheet on his phone along with empty social and quest functions. It looked interesting but he had to make a character before he could explore how the real life raid functions worked.
Levi clicked on create character and was prompted with a handful of selections and character presets.
MAGE: a hot toned black man teleported onto the screen in a flash of lightning. Seemed interesting for maybe his second playthrough but Levi found DPS classes a bit boring.
GUARDIAN: A slim man wielding yellow magic stepped onto the screen but Levi clicked off before the character could even finish his intro animation, healers were boring as fuck, he loved being front and centre in games and skipped past the rest of the options to the tank classes.
Scrolling through the tank classes they all seemed fairly generic and boring. Levi was almost ready to go back to the mage character when he clicked on the final class to take a look.
COLOSSUS: A giant black man leaped down from the top of the screen slamming into the ground giving the illusion of the entire monitor shaking from the impact. The character than stood up expanding his shoulders back, roaring slamming his fists together.
Levi smiled with excitement, this was exactly what he was looking for, not just a tank to take hits during a raid but a Juggernaut who could deal just as much damage as he could take, a real Colossus.
He clicked on the character and went through to customisation. He spent an hour designing his character to be exactly how he wanted, he looked at the first few stages of the levelling plan for the class before pressing create.
LEVEL 1 COMMANDING AURA: release a potent aura and gaining the attention of everything in a radius
LEVEL 2 COLOSSAL DEFENSES: when under threat increase size and strength by almost double LEVEL 3 METEOR SLAM: whilst moving above walking speed gain increasing momentum up to 500%, slamming into a target or object will release the energy in a burst of damage
LEVEL 4 HOME ADVANTAGE: your commanding aura will shift the environment it touches leaving it to effect living things as if you were there.
Levi liked what he was seeing from the first few levels and didn't feel like he had to keep reading all the way to level 50 so he clicked create and began linking his character to his phone. Soon the large man he had just spent an hour creating appeared on the app on his phone.
Is this the character you'd like to engage in real world events? YES/NO
Levi pressed yes and suddenly felt a small zap of electricity from his phone. He reactively dropped his phone and rubbed his hand from where he had just been shocked. Looking at the small mark he watched his hand suddenly double in size. His toned body started expanding. He felt his tight tank top struggling to cope as his body started expanding, he quickly took it off and started recording what was happening to himself in the mirror.
His toned body and muscled started to inflate with size as he slowly transitioned from ripped to jacked. Notifications swamped the top of his screen as people on the Social function of the gaming app posted videos of themselves transforming, for most it were minor physical changes but for those who picked tank classes they were turning into giant beasts.
It was almost like a trend for people to post their before and after transformations on the app, but when Levi checked other social media apps there were no videos infact it there were no posts about the game at all, it was almost like the game got cancelled.
Levi gritted his teeth as his body continued to expand. He stood up investigating his new thick frame.
"god damn what the fuck happened"
Levi checked the app and saw a progress bar labelled "Real World Transfer" was only half way complete. He looked at the size of the character on his phone compared to how he looked now, if he was really going to become that big he had no idea how the hell he was going to fit in clothes anymore, or his car for that matter.
Guess the character starting gear just large baggy pants and no other kind of armour.
He looked to see on the app if anyone else had chosen the same class and if their transformation was complete. He was on the tank player social page and not many people had chosen a tank class and he couldn't see anyone who had picked the Colossus.
A notification appeared at the top of his screen.
LEVEL 1 ABILITIES AVALIBLE - Passive: Commanding Aura
Sweat started to appear across his body and he could smell a potent stench radiating off his body. Levi scratched his armpit and quickly found his hand slick with sweat.
Once again he felt his body expanding and he flexed in the mirror looking as his body slowly transformed to be like his colossal character.
Levi looked and admired the new giant bodybuilder form standing in front of himself. He flexed his huge arms and uploaded his transformation video to the social part of the app. He tried to upload it to his other social media app however the video wouldn't attach and looking closer at his social media apps all the photos of him had been changed to his new massive form.
Soon the novelty wore off as he caught a whiff of the stench radiating off his body, this commanding aura was definitely something he was going to have to figure out before going into work tomorrow but for now he was going to enjoy the activity offered in game, and maybe he'd enjoy himself a little bit later too.
Levi sat down in his gaming chair hearing it strain under his new weight. His expanded lats rubbed against the arm rests barely squeezing through and soon Levi felt his underwear coated in sweat and stick to his huge muscled ass.
-------
Levi squeezed himself out of his small car, feeling the dress shirt he ordered online cling to his huge muscled frame. He didn't know how everyone was going to react to how he had magically changed over the weekend but he still had to make money to pay for his gaming habit.
Levi walked through the lobby and stepped into an elevator. A slight ding range as he pressed to his floor number and the doors reopened to the lobby. A small middle aged man in a business suit stepped in front of the elevator.
"I dont know why they hell you're in the elevator Levi, you know you surpass the weight limit"
Levi rubbed the back of his head, so people recognised him but didn't notice the changes. Like he had always been like this. Levi stepped out embarrassed.
"Guess I'll take the stairs"
"maybe lay off the roids kid" The older man said, shaming Levi for his size.
Levi opened the door to the emergency stair well and began his 30 floor hike. He hasn't even started walking and could already feel the sweat start to stain under his armpits. The 3 cans of deodorant he had coated himself in this morning was already starting to be worthless and Levi hadn't even made it up 3 steps yet.
At floor 5 Levi stopped taking a break to catch his breath. He had read some guide last night about the Colossus class having terrible stamina to balance out Meteor Slam but he didn't think it would impact him much in the real world but he continued his hike.
Arriving at floor 30 he stood in front of the door to his office floor gasping for air. The terrible stamina combined with how much effort it took to move his body was making him start to doubt his class choice. Levi raised one arm to lean on the door way but lifting it an inch too high he hear a ripping noise. Looking down he saw the stitching over his armpit was torn and what looked like steam flowed from his shirt. Levi pushed open the door hoping no one would notice his wardrobe malfunction but as he opened the door he noticed how bad his stench must be. As the door swung open a cloud of steam flowed out into the office and a wet sweaty handprint was left behind from where he pushed it open.
Walking across the office everyone was staring at him, complaining about the stench radiating from his body. Levi sat down in his office chair accidentally breaking one of the arm rests as he did and started to get to work. He heard his phone ping and saw a notification from the game app.
LEVEL 2 ABILITIES AVALIBLE: -passive: Colossal Defences.
It wasn't long before his boss was at his desk.
"Levi this is the 3rd time I'm talking to you about your...work place hygiene"
This was the first Levi had ever heard about it
"eeerrr, sorry sir. I ummm"
"save it Levi, I'm going to have to ask you to go home, you'll have to do remote work from now on, nobody in the office can stand your, hmmm how do I put this delicately, your aura but I need to warn you, if your work output drops we'll have to let you go"
Levi grew nervous, he loved his job and really didn't want to lose it. His heart started beating in his chest. He heard the office chair groan under him. Looking down at his thighs he saw his pants grow tighter and the stitching on his inner thigh started to let go.
"everything okay Levi?"
"eerrrr yep, all good, Ill just head home email me my work bye"
Levi quickly stood up, grabbed his bag and began waddling quickly walking to the door. Hearing his pants and shirt start to tear more with each step. Right as he closed the door to the stair well he felt the back of his shirt completely tear apart. His pants split to shreds as he suddenly doubled in size.
He checked the app to see what was happening and saw his ability Colossal Defence had become active. He tried to take some deep breaths to calm down but realised anyone could walk in at any moment and they might not notice how he changed over the weekend but this was temporary and it'd be difficult to explain how he doubled in size in two seconds. He began his decent down the stairs, slowly waddling as he couldn't see his feet past his huge pecs. Luckily by the time he got to his car he had shrank back down to "normal size" sitting in her car he got a notification from the game app again.
MILESTONE COMPLETE: DUNGEON CRAWLER - Explore real world dungeons
LEVEL 3 - Ability: Meteor Slam
-------
Levi finally arrived him, he didn't bother taking his clothes off normally, he just tore off what wet shreds remained clinging to him and chucked them to the floor hearing a loud wet slop as drenched fabric landed on the ground. He sniffed his pits turning away grossed out at the stench and headed to his bathroom for a shower. Right before opening the door he tripped over his own massive foot. As he fell forward he felt his body accelerate and he suddenly found his massive body crashing straight through his bathroom door. As his huge form collided with the door it was obliterated and smashed into pieces.
"aw fuck...welp guess that's meteor slam...." Levi put his hands on the back of his head and let out a deep sigh. He was done, it was the Colossus class was fun in the game but the real lift effects were too much he was going to change his class. He tried to do it through the app but there was no option, he went to his PC putting off his shower a bit longer to get himself back to some kind of normal. Opening the game he was met with a message.
PC GAME OPTIONS DOWN FOR MAITENCE AND PATCHING PLEASE CHEC BACK IN A FEW HOURS.
Levi rolled his eyes, it was the first thing he'd do tomorrow when the game was back online. For now he was going to bed, today was a bust he'd try for a better day tomorrow.
------
Levi woke up feeling his bed completely drenched in sweat, the smell of body odour lingering in the air. He picked up his massive frame and went straight to his PC to change his character. Openeing the game is was met with a notification.
PATCH NOTES: Dear players we are glad you are all enjoying the adventures of ShiftOnline we have been collecting player data and made some adjustments to class stats and abilities for better balance.
Levi skimmed through the other class changes to his
Colossus Changes: Colossus is the least popular class in the game with under 100 players however that doesn't mean the class isn't strong so we are making some changes to rebalance the skills and redirect some power, this changes will be reflective [to see definition of reflective please see our website]
NERFS Colossus players have gained major increased strength and we want to keep that, so to better keep their balance we are nerfing their intelligence stats by -80
BUFFS Commanding Aura is great and grabbing attention both in and out of the game world but its a bit on the weaker side of other tanks agro abilities so we are doubling its range
Colossal Defences is a good abilities but players dislike its randomness, it will now auto trigger when a player is threated like before but players can also toggle the ability on when they aren't threatened
Levi started to feel strange, like popping candy was going off in his head. He felt a bit dizzy. He clicked the link to the definition of reflective changes.
"reflective changes mean they will happen in game and IRL"
Levi remembered the intelligence nerf and quickly when back to the game to make a new character. He picked a basic mage character and sped through the customisation feeling the sensation in his head get worse. Right as he went to press accept he stopped and sat back in his chair. He lifted on arm flexing looking at his huge bicep.
"huhuhuh, so big, me stay biig forEVER"
Levi clicked deny on the character change settings
He stood up moving his hulking frame to the bathroom to admire his huge form in the mirror. As he stood in front of the mirror he flexed feeling a strange sensation, as he activated his Colossal Defences ability without realising. He watched his body slowly grow and double in size.
"huhuhuh"
Levi laughed with drool falling down the side of his lip and onto his chest. He felt himself get hard and waddled to his bedroom to have some fun with himself but he found his shoulders colliding with the door frame. Levi stopped and frowned. He knew had fit through the door but couldn't work out how. He continued to walk back and fourth his shoulders colliding with the doorframe over and over. Too stupid to realise he'd have to shrink back down to normal size to fit through the door again.
About an hour later Levi realised he could turn sideways and fit through the door. His phone pinged again but he didn't bother to check.
LEVEL 4: -Passive: Home Advantage
As Levi waddled through his house his thick stench wafted along with him clinging to his wall and furniture. He carpets became strained with sweaty footprints. His wall paper started to peel and crumble from the about of sweat in the air. His house slowly shifted around him from the clean kept house of a software engineer to an unkept mess that looked like it was home to a caveman.
Levi sat down on his and reached down to his dick to relieve himself but he couldn't reach. The sound of his muscles and skin groaning and rubbing against each other filled the room as the giant man desperately tried to grab hold of his own manhood. Again not able to figure how he'd have to go back to his 'normal' size so he could reach.
The giant colossus spent hours trying to figure out why he couldn't reach his own dick even though he desperately wanted to. Eventually he simply fell asleep on his sweaty stained, stinking mattress. His loud snooze rumbling through his house.
Levi probably thought picking Colossus as his starting class was a bad idea.
Luckily he couldn't think anymore.
#male transformation#muscle#muscle transformation#male tf#gay transformation#tf story#transformation#reality change#musk
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AUUH okay I know it’s tuff and all for the writing so I wouldn’t expect this to be done automatically it’s just whenever you get the chance😭🙏 bratty omega Abby? i could just see her being a brat badly and reader puts her in her place
I've also got a req for the heat/rut sync and Abby's moodiness fits in perfectly. She is such a brat once she knows she can rile you up I love her.
female alpha!reader x omega!abby
Palestine: what can you do
Tags: dead dove: do not eat. a/b/o universe (female alphas have dicks), modern AU, heat/rut sync, rough sex, pregnancy scare, brat!Abby.
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It's not common for heats and ruts to sync - so you two for some stupid reason don't check your tracking apps to see when you're due.
You know Abby's heat is coming up because she is moody: she is grumpy and frustrated and gets irritated if you don't understand her puzzling demands. It doesn't upset you - you let her have her space and be as moody as she wants.
For some reason, it only makes her more moody. Abby is frowning as she watches you fold your laundry.
“You're doing it wrong.” She complains and you chuckle.
“Do you want to do it?”
“No, I want you to do it right. Slacks belong on a rack. You folded them and you'll look like an embarrassing fool when you put them on.”
You chuckle, but it's not a good chuckle: you can't help but to feel challenged by your own omega. Abby starts to notice how your presence pressures her into submission, but she just gets more irritated with you.
“Anything else?” You ask and the dangerous undertone of your voice gets Abby excited.
“You don't iron your clothes. It's annoying.”
“Huh.” You press your lips together and Abby smells your anger.
But you smell her arousal.
“Enjoying pushing my buttons?” Abby frowns like you said something stupid, but her scent spikes. “I can smell you.”
Abby huffs and gets up to walk out of the room, still trying to keep her irritated facade, but you catch her by her waist: you will not let it slide.
“You don't get to walk away from me after being a brat.” Abby frowns but her cheeks flush red. She is caught.
“I'm not a fucking brat.” Abby tries to save her dignity. “You need to learn how to fold your clothes.”
“Do I now? Or did you come up with an excuse to get me angry?” You graze her throat with your fangs and Abby folds.
Her scent becomes thick and it hits you hard enough so you dig your nails into her waist, her pheromones pushing all of your instincts that are revved up on Abby's mood. You want to own her, to show Abby her fucking place and your brain just doesn't function anymore. You're not her nice gentle alpha now - you feel possessive and aggressive.
“Bedroom, now.” You growl and Abby obediently guides you to your bedroom.
You close the door and push Abby to the bed while she looks at you with her golden eyes and she is still fucking stubborn.
“Knees and elbows.” You order her and Abby listens.
She presents herself to you: her spread glistening thighs with her swollen pussy on display. Abby turns her head to look at you and you growl: from this angle she looks so innocent, as if she wasn't being a bitch two minutes ago, and so inviting, begging to be filled and fucked properly.
You get on the bed and knead her ass, making Abby mewl, getting her desperate and frustrated - you feel it in her scent, her impatience.
“You want something, babygirl?”
“Fuck me.” Abby growls and it rips your self-control to shreds. Your eyes turn red and your scent gets worse, overpowering Abby.
You grab her hair and press her head into the mattress, while you hold her waist with your other hand, making Abby arch and submit. Abby feels your jeans on her bare thighs and she rubs against you, not caring about anything anymore.
“Don't fucking growl at me.” You say and Abby whines, falling into heat euphoria.
“Please.” Abby begs, now definitely too turned on: she is ready to fucking cry.
You hum and let go of Abby's hair, trying to get yourself under control. You sit back and watch Abby's hips wiggle, looking for any kind of relief, and you can't take it anymore, can't see Abby so stressed because she's not getting fucked.
Two fingers slide in Abby easily and she moans, relieved. Abby can't keep her thighs up, her knees sliding in opposite directions, so you hoist her up by her hips and finally starts fucking her. You're still careful, but Abby is so wet and her cunt stretches so well around your fingers that you get more aggressive, almost taking your fingers out only to push them back to the hilt. Abby whines and grips her pillow, not knowing where to put herself: it feels so good, but she needs more.
“I need you, please.” Abby chokes on her moan when you thrust particularly hard. Your pace gets quicker and then Abby feels another finger prodding her hole. “Oh my god, yes.”
“Look at this pussy, taking my fingers so well.” You marvel, watching your three digits fucking in and out of her. “You must be already close, tightening on me like this.”
Abby whines and snakes her hand to her clit, but you don't let her, pushing her hand away. Instead you lean down and suck on her clit, making Abby cum immediately. Abby shrieks and tries to close her thighs, but you keep fucking her anyway, until she taps her hand on your hip.
You slowly take your fingers out of Abby and kiss her ass cheek affectionately while you watch her cum drip on the covers. Your dick twitches and Abby whines when she sniffs how turned on you're, eager to satisfy you. Abby arches deeper, a clear invitation, and you growl, unbuckling your jeans and sliding them down enough for your cock to be free.
You rub your dick on her wet, sensitive pussy and Abby growls again, too impatient for her own good. The slap on her ass cheek makes Abby twitch from sudden pain, but her scent spikes in arousal.
“Cut it out.” You growl back and slap her other cheek, leaving a red handprint on her skin.
Abby mewls and only gets wetter, pressing back into you.
“Please.”
“You can do better.” You huff and gently slap her cunt, making Abby jump.
“Please-please-please, I need you, fuck.” Abby begs and you tap her pussy while she speaks just to rile her up. “Alpha, please!”
Abby hides her shriek in the pillow while you bottom out inside her, dragging your cock over her tight, sensitive walls. She is so wet and smells so fucking good, you just have to lean down and sink your teeth into her shoulder. Abby whimpers and bucks her hips, taking you even deeper, making you moan into her ear, and you both fall into full pheromone bliss.
You slam your hips into Abby, pressing her head into the pillow so she wouldn't move, so she would submit, and she only sticks her ass out for you, submitting happily. You are mounting her now, covering Abby with your body, suffocating her with your scent, and Abby melts into the bed, whining and whimpering as you fuck her. Abby doesn't even try to think, fully lost in you, her only need is to be filled up and knotted now.
“Alpha-” Abby sobs and pushes her arms by her sides to grab her underbutt and pull it apart, opening her drooling hole for you. You growl and slam into her harder: you don't control yourself anymore.
You move your hand between Abby's shoulder blades to keep her pinned, but then you move enough so you could play with Abby's clit while you thrust into her relentlessly.
“F-fuck-” You grunt when Abby tightens around you, making your pace stutter. “You're gonna be good? Gonna cum on my cock?”
Abby nods her head feverishly and mewls, her cunt flutters around you.
“Good.” You growl and pick up your speed. You're so high on the pheromones, on the way Abby's pussy is so tight and hot around you, so you keep fucking her, pushing back inside her just to hear her little whimpers and feel her hot walls trap you.
Abby coils and cums, filling your nose with her spiked scent, and you don't think anymore: you don't hear anything except Abby's pleas to knot her. You dig your nails into her hips and pull her back on your cock, and Abby jumps and twitches, but takes it.
“Cum inside me, please.” Abby moans and you slam so hard into her Abby moves up on the bed, her poor pillow is under her tits now.
“You'll look so good pregnant with my kids, Abby.” You pant. “Gonna be a good little omega and take my knot?”
“Yes, please, yes!” Abby sobs and arches again, showing her submission, and it tips you over: you thrust into her, pushing your knot inside and Abby cums again, triggering your own orgasm when she pulsates around your knot. You growl and cum, filling Abby up.
You both collapse on the bed and you bury your nose in Abby's neck, growling still. Your scent stops suffocating her and you both start to calm down. Your brain gets clearer in time with Abby's and suddenly you both smell of anxiety.
“Fuck.” You sigh, not sure if you can touch Abby: you were so fucking rough with her. “Baby, how are you? I'm so sorry.”
“I'm fine, I'm good.” Abby says quickly, but she stinks of anxiety. “It's not that. You're in rut.”
You stop breathing. If you're in rut, and Abby is in heat, it-
“We fucked up.” Abby whispers, horrified. “I'm not on birth control.”
You swallow, your heart heavy: you know what it means - it means Abby can get pregnant, since the syncs are the only times when an omega can get pregnant. You take a breath to keep calm for Abby's sake: you need to fix whatever upset her. You need to make her feel happy and safe, not scared and anxious. Thank god you can think for now, before your hormones fuck you over again.
“Okay, baby, breathe. I'll go to the pharmacy and buy emergency pills.” You tell her gently and Abby nods.
“What if they don't work? Fuck, what if I get pregnant?” The smell of anxiety intensifies and you really want to sneeze.
“Then we will deal with it.”
“Will you leave me?” Abby sniffles.
You chuckle fondly: Abby is so cute during her heats.
“Of course not. Summer wedding, remember?” You nuzzle into Abby's neck and carefully move to your side to make you two comfortable. “I'll be with you no matter what.”
Abby sniffles again and smells of love, and you hug her tightly, your affection spilling out of you.
“I didn't want to be so rough.” You say apologetically and Abby snorts.
“I loved it. I knew someday I'd break you.” Abby smirks and you look dramatically shocked.
“So you planned it!”
“No, I was annoyed. But now I know I just need to growl at you and you'll do exactly what I want.”
“Don't start now, I'm still kinda power crazy.”
“I'm going to have so much fun.” Abby giggles and you flick her nipple, making her yelp.
“Yeah?” You purr dangerously and Abby shudders, clenches around your knot. “I will use my voice if you do it again.”
Abby bites her lips as her plan forms in her head. She is definitely growling at you again.
It takes fifteen minutes for the knot to ease up and you run to the pharmacy, knowing you have fifteen minutes before you’re hit with the next wave. You stink, and people let you go first so you won’t bother them, and you run back home just in time.
You don’t expect to be met with a very grumpy Abby: she sits on the bed in your t-shirt, frowning and pouting, her arms crossed on her chest. You blink at her, trying to guess her mood, but you have no idea what it is.
Then she scrunches her face when she sees the pills in your hand, and her frown deepens.
“No.”
You blink again.
“What do you mean “no”?”
“It’s our baby. I want to have our baby.” Abby crosses her arms tighter, defiant.
Each word triggers your rut and you have to breathe through your mouth to calm down: you can’t just listen to your omega begging to have your baby, but you need to think with your bigger head right now.
“How about we go through this sync, and then if you still want a baby after, we will take it seriously, hm?”
Abby frowns, irritated.
“Why can’t we have this baby? It’s already there!”
You hardly keep yourself from laughing: Abby is so fucking cute.
“Because this baby’s got irresponsible parents who will have them as an accident.”
“Okay. But only this time. I don’t want an accident baby. I want a planned baby.”
Abby takes the pill and drinks water, while you sigh in relief - Abby might’ve been more stubborn.
“It’s all your fault.” Abby says and you chuckle.
“Instead of being a brat you can just beg like a good girl.” You offer her and Abby huffs.
“You wish, alpha.” She mocks you. You smile.
Five minutes after Abby is begging and crying when you use your voice to tell her she is not allowed to cum.
She is not the only one who is allowed to have fun.
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do you think you could write about Zach and reader trying for a baby and eventually being pregnant when least expected? I really wanna domesticat that man😂😂
No I totally get what you mean 😭 I hope you enjoy!
Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, pregnancy talk, breeding kink?, trying to get pregnant, kissing, unprotected sex, creampies, oral (fem rec), filth with fluff
Word Count: 3.3k | unedited
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
It was no secret that you and your husband were trying to get pregnant.
Always running off when you can to have sex, being late to things because of having sex, leaving early.
There’s a lot of sex.
But, there’s also a lot of negative tests and nights where you’re questioning if it was you, or him, or just the universe giving you a big F you.
Zach was very understanding and did his best at consoling you. Always picking you up when you were down, delivering food to your house while he was at the studio filming for the podcast.
He was always there, no matter if he was actually physically there or not.
Last month, you got yet another negative when you were so hopeful of getting a positive, but all you got was your period a few days after.
You both want nothing more than to start your little family just like you planned.
“Hey, sweetheart.” Zach walks into the bedroom, “I’m going in.” You feel him crawl up onto the bed and kiss your cheek, “Are you sure you don’t want to come in with me?”
You nod, “Yeah. I’m just.. gonna rot in bed all day.” You roll over and smile up at him, “I’ll be fine. I have a full day of binge watching YellowJackets.”
“Do you want me to stay home?”
You shake your head, “If I need you, I’ll call you.”
He licks his lips, “How many days until your ovulation?”
“Um..” you roll over and grab your phone, going into your period tracker app, “about five days out, give or take.”
He gives you a look and you smirk, “Won’t you be late? It’s already one thirty.”
“I don’t have to be there until two fifteen-ish.. you up for a little baby makin’ time?” He bites his lip and you roll your eyes, “Um.. always.”
You pull him down, taking his hat off of his head as your lips move with his.
His hand pushes your shirt up, sliding under it to knead your boob, earning a moan from you, “There we go.” He whispers, “I love those sounds.”
You smile, tilting your head back as he kisses down your neck.
He slides down, sitting up as he grips your pajama shorts and pulls them down off your hips as you lift them.
He does the same to your panties and you bite your lip as he undoes his jeans, his eyes staying on you.
You spread you legs, reaching out for him as he leans forward, his arm holding up his weight by your head, “I’m going to put a baby inside of you.”
He reaches down, rubbing the tip of his cock between your folds, “I promise.”
You gasp as he slips in, your legs tightening around his waist as he moans lowly in your ear, “M’gonna get you so pregnant.”
You nod as you turn your head towards him, breathing out, “Please.”
His lips attach to yours, groaning against them as his thrusts are slow and deep to start, but quickly build up into a quick pace.
Your back arches off the bed, you moans filling the room as he hits that one spot each time, “Fuck, fuck, right there!” You tangle your fingers in his hair, “Fuck, Zach.”
“Come on, mama.” He groans, planting kisses back your jaw, “Cum for me.”
You squeeze his cock, your body arching as you come undone around him. You tense up, legs twitching, and moans repeatedly ripping from your throat as he guides you through your high.
“Goddamn..” Zach moans, “Fuck.”
You tug his hair, kissing his lips and taking his bottom one between your teeth which makes him gasp.
He reached down, taking your one leg and hooking it over his arm, the new angle allowing him to thrust into you deeper.
He kisses your lips, moaning against them as you feel his cock twitch inside of you. His thrusts slow down and he holds himself there to prevent anything from leaking out.
“It’ll work, sweetheart. All good things take time.” He pecks your lips and gets up. You spin around as he redresses himself and you put your legs up on the wall.
You look over at him and he’s looking at you with his head tilted.
You laugh, “It’s supposed to keep everything rolling the way it’s supposed to.” You shrug, looking up at the ceiling, “I don’t know. I’m desperate.”
Zach walks over and leans down, “You do what you gotta do.” He smirks, “I love you.” He presses a kiss to your lips, “text call if you need anything, alright?”
You nod, “I love you. Have a good day, baby.”
You hear him leave and you let out a sigh, mumbling to yourself, “Please let this work.”
A little later on, you found yourself doing exactly what you told Zach you were going to do. Rot in bed and watch tv.
Your phone dings and you pick it up, seeing a text from Zach that makes you smile, Is my girl okay?
You answer back, sending him a selfie of you in bed wearing his sweatshirt, Doing as I said I would be doing lol.
You rest your phone in your lap, waiting for his text that comes through rather quickly, Look at that cutie patootie. Do you need anything? Are you hungry?
You smile, tilting your head as you type, Just bring something home with you, babe. I made something before I got back into bed so I can wait.
He shouldn’t be too much longer, as of right now you just wanted to be with him.
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
“Baby!” Zach calls as he walks through the front door, “I’m home!”
“Living room.” You call out, sniffling as you try to make it look like you weren’t crying, but you fail, and Zach picks up on it right away.
“Whoa, hey.” He drops everyone on the end of the couch and walks over to you, “What’s going on, sweetheart?”
He sits down next to you, his arms opening to welcome you into his body, “I’m right here.”
You lay your head against his chest, sniffling as you try not to cry. He runs his hand over your head, “It’s okay, y/n. I got you.” He presses a kiss to your head, “I got you.”
“I just.. I don’t..” you sob, your hand gripping his shirt as you gasp for air, “I just want to give you the family you want.”
“Hey, hey.” He reaches down, his hands holding either side of your head, “Listen to me, you’re who my main focus is on right now and it will forever be on you and eventually, when the time comes, you’ll have to share that with whatever we have..”
He smiles as you laugh, “I know..”
“You’re the most important thing to me, okay? I’m here whenever you need me. Whatever you need, I will move mountains for you.” Zach raises his brows, “I’m here, and I’m not nor plan to be going anywhere.”
He kisses you in between words, “No.. matter.. what.”
“I love you. Sorry for being such a big bawl baby.”
“I love you.” He smirks, wiping away your tears, “Snot and all.”
“Oh my god.” You reach over to grab a tissue and wipe off your face, “I’m sorry.”
He chuckles as he shakes his head, “Don’t be. Okay. Why don’t we go for a drive or something? Hmm. Get your mind off things?”
“As long as we don’t go into anywhere public, I’m in.”
He nods, “Sounds like you got yourself a deal.”
You lean in, kissing his lips a few times, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You probably wouldn’t be with someone who’s as handsome or hilarious as me, but it’s fine. We won’t talk about that.” He smirks, pecking your lips, “Come on.”
You spend the late afternoon into the evening driving around. You went and parked at the overlook, watching the ocean crash against the shore as you ate dinner.
He talked about his podcast today and what all went on. You filled him in on the show you started to watch.
It was overall a very good distraction.
“So.. I think we should go home soon..” you turn your head as you rest it against the headrest, “or we can do it here. Up to you.”
He laughs, “Can you wait until we get home?”
You sigh, giving him a smirk, “I guess so.”
He reaches over to take your hand as he starts driving, “I think we’re trying too hard, babe.”
You nod, “I agree.”
“I think, you should start posting content again, or even just come to the studio with me. Socializing might be good, it’ll keep your mind off things.”
“I hate when you’re right.” You smile and he nods, “I know right. Doesn’t happen very often.”
You laugh, giving his hand a squeeze, “I know. Soak it in while you can.”
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
A few more weeks goes by, and yet another negative tests.
“That’s it.” You groan as you toss the stick into the trash, “I give up.”
Zach tightens his arms around your waist, “Maybe it was too early, baby.. we can test against in a few days.”
You rest your head back onto his shoulder, “Maybe I’ll just stop testing. The universe clearly has it out for me. I don’t know why.”
You take a deep breath, “Let’s just.. I don’t know. Don’t let me stay on the couch or in bed all day.” You go to walk away but Zach pulls you back into him, “It’s okay.”
“You’ve said that.” You were clearly feeling everything, but Zach wasn’t letting it get to him, “I know I’ve said that, and I’ll keep saying it until you finally understand that it is really okay.”
You stay silent, looking down as tears fall.
He tilts your chin up, “Sweetheart. It’ll happen. Okay. I promise you, one way or another, we will have ourselves an itty bitty little baby.”
You smile, quickly swiping away your tears, “I know. I know. I just want it to happen now.”
“I know, me too. But there isn’t anything we can do. It gets tiring, annoying. Stupid.” He laughs which makes you laugh, “This waiting game is overrated.”
He nods, “But it’s what we need to do. I promised you I’m going to put a baby in you, and I’m keeping that promise.”
His hands slide to your hips, “even if it won’t do anything..” he smirks, “practicing never hurt, right?”
You tilt your head back as he kisses up your neck, “What do you say? Wanna let me take care of you?”
You bite down on your lip, “please.”
He lifts you up onto the counter and lifts your shirt up over your head, tossing it to the floor. You rock side to side as you push your sweats and underwear down over your hips and thighs.
He drops down to the floor, pulling them off fully before pushing your knees apart. His lips connect with your clit and you gasp, your hand flying to the wall and your other to his head.
His tongue swirls and flicks against you, earning moan after moan with each stroke, “F-fuck..”
Your breathing grows more rapid the closer he gets to your center. His tongue pulling out and pushing in causes your legs to close as the pleasure rolls through you.
His hands push your thighs apart, holding them open as he keeps working, pulling whines and whimpers from your lips.
You roll your hips forward, your fingers pulling and tugging his hair as you reach the edge of full frontal pleasure.
“Z-Zach..” you whine out, “So- so close!”
Your heel digs into his upper back, pushing him closer and you cum, “Fuck, fuck.”
His fingertips dig into the flesh of your thighs as he guides you through with a moan of his own.
He glances up at you, enjoying the sight of your body jolting with each rub of his tongue on your clit.
“So fucking sexy.” He groans as he stands up, his hands moving to push down his own sweats, “I fuckin’ love you.”
His lips crash onto yours as his arm hooks under your leg and holds it up. He cock slides into you with ease, and you swallow each others moans.
His thrusts are slow, caring.
His free hand moves up to hold the back of your neck, “You feel so good, baby. So good.”
You whimper against his lips, the walls of your soaked cunt squeezing around his cock, “A-Again..” you moan out, “Fuck.”
You pull him closest, his thrusts picking up just a tad as he brings you to the brink of a second orgasm, “Oh fuck.. fuck..”
“That’s it, baby. Let go for me. I got you.” Zach kisses down your neck, “I got you.”
He guides you through your second high and you feel his cock twitch, pushing deep inside of you as he cums with a moan, “Fuck, fuck.”
You lean back, resting against the mirror as he pulls out, reaching over to grab a towel to clean you up with, “Feel better?” He glances up at you and you smile, “Might just have to keep doing that all day everyday.”
“Oh girl, you’re going to kill me.” He laughs and drops the towel. He pulls his sweats up and grabs yours after he helps you down off the counter.
“I can’t do that.” You tease, “I need ya.”
“Yeah you do.” He smirks, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “What do you want to do today?”
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
It took a lot, but you didn’t focus on getting pregnant as much as you did within last few.
Thanks to Zach, he was able to plan things and keep your mind as occupied as he possibly could.
You really did mean it when you said you didn’t know what you’d do without him, probably sit home and go stir crazy.
You managed to post more to your socials, finish and edit a YouTube video, and just overall, you didn’t feel as miserable as you did dwelling on something you just could not control.
“You coming with me today?” Zach asks as he pops his head into the bathroom. You nod, “I am, just finishing getting ready.”
“You look beautiful.”
You look over at him, giving him a small smile, “Thank you.”
“I mean, it. You look like you’re glowing.”
You don’t think anything of it. You just smile and shake your head, “It’s the not worrying about stuff that’s out of our control.”
He smiles, “I’m happy to see you happy.”
You walk over, kissing his lips, “Let’s go.”
You spent the day with Zach at the studio. You talked with Alyssa about the journey and how frustrating it was, but you haven’t been focusing on that as much.
“You’re going to be the best mom, y/n. I’m so happy that you’ve cut yourself some slack.” She says giving you a smile, “I’m hoping that when it does happen, it’ll kinda mellow that one out.”
She points to Zach and he rolls his eyes, “Keeping secrets won’t make you friends.”
“Who said I was keeping a secret?” She laughs and he scoffs, “My wife will tell me all about it later.”
“I’ll tell you right now.” Alyssa laughs, “I said, I hope you having a kid will mellow your ass out.”
“Doubtful.” Zach laughs and you roll your eyes, “I agree with him.”
As you’re sitting next to Alyssa while the podcast is being filmed, you can’t help but stare at Zach, thinking about seeing him in dad mode.
Him holding a tiny new born baby, gently bouncing them in his arms as they drift off to sleep.
You were so excited for it to happen, but you also kept reminding yourself that good things take time and it’ll happen when it happens.
You get a notification on your phone that your period is supposed to start today, but you brush it off. Clearing the notification from your screen and your mind.
You jump in on the conversation, leaning in to talk into Alyssa’s mic, and it was just overall a good day.
On the ride back home, Zach’s thumb is stroking the back of your hand, “You have a good day?”
“It’s always a good day when you bring your wife to work, is it not?” You laugh as he nods, “I wish I could do it everyday. Oh wait.” He looks over at you, “I can.”
You smile, nodding your head, “You sure can.” You sigh, “I have to pee again. I literally just went before we left.”
He laughs, “We’re almost home, baby.”
You get out of the truck, making your way up to the door. Zach follows behind you, reaching around to unlock the door, “Go ahead.”
You walk in, and head straight for the bathroom.
As you walk in, the box with one pregnancy test left in it catches your eye. You shake your head, sighing as you know the results will only be a one line answer.
But you take it anyway, and the cycle begins.
You rest the used test on the counter after snapping the cap back on. You finish up, walking over to wash your hands and your jaw drops.
“Zach! Zach!” You let the water run and open the door, “Zach! Zach!”
“What!? What!? What!?” He comes rushing in, stopping when he sees the test on the counter, “No way.”
You nod, “Oh.” You reach forward to turn off the water and he grabs your hand, “Oh god please tell me that’s water.”
“Yeah, I got too exited to dry my hands.” You pick up the test, “That’s.. two lines, correct?”
“Yeah, baby. That is two lines indeed.” Zach looks at you, “We finally did it.”
“We finally did it!” He cheers as he lifts you up, “we’re going to have a baby.”
You wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him tight, “We’re finally pregnant.”
You lean back, kissing him multiple times, “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
He smirks, pressing kisses onto your face, “I love you so much more.”
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
Nine months later
“How are you feelin’ mama?” Zach asks softly as he sits down next to you. Your eyes scan over the swaddled newborn in his arms and you look up at him, “I’m so good.”
He smiles, leaning in to press a kiss to your temple, “You did so good. I’m so proud of you.”
You smile, resting your head on his shoulder, “We finally did it.”
He smiles, nodding his head before resting it on yours, “You did this, baby.”
“She’s our baby.” You laugh slightly, “she looks so much like you.”
“I think she looks so much like you.” Zach looks from the baby girl to you, “She’s beautiful, just like you.”
After a moment of you both sitting and staring at the sleeping baby in his arms, he starts to chuckle lightly, “I know.. this isn’t the time or place to say it, but I don’t think I’ll ever get the imagine of her coming out out of my head.”
You cover your mouth as you laugh, “I was waiting for that.”
“Sorry. I just..” he sighs, shaking his head, “Had to say that.”
You run your hand up and down his back, “Are you ready for another one?”
Zach turns his head, “If we didn’t have to wait a few weeks I’d say yes.”
“Shut up.” You laugh, letting out a content sigh, “I love you, and I love her.”
“I love you both more than you can ever imagine.” He smiles and purses his lips. You smile and lean in, gently pressing your lips to his, “It’s time for her to eat.”
“How do you-“
The baby starts stirring and starts to fuss.
“Told you.”
Zach shakes his head as he hands you your baby girl, “You continue to amaze me.”
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
Thank you so much for reading! I love you all sooo much! Catch you in the next one! 🖤
Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
#samandcolby-ownme#Zach justice#Zach justice x reader#Zach justice x reader smut#pregnant!reader#Zach Justice x pregnant!reader#smut#fluff#Zach justice fluff#Zach justice dropouts#dropouts#dropouts podcast#Zach justice smut#smut one shot#smut Zach justice#Zachary Justice x reader#Zachary Justice#Zachary Justice x reader smut#Zach justice dirty one shot
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Firearm - Lando Norris
<word count - 1314>
Sitting on the windowsill of your childhood home, the window pushed wide open, you brought the joint to your lips after you had just lit it. This had become something of a habit after moving back into your parent's place since it was one of the only things that could take your mind off of everything that had happened.
As you had many times before, you hoped the smell wouldn't waft through the house and reach the nose of your mother, who was downstairs. You didn't want her knowing about this nasty little wont that you had developed - just like you didn't want her to know the extent of the pain you were feeling.
It was like a rollercoaster: one moment you were having the time of your life, zipping along the tracks without a care in the world. The next, you were hurtling down at breakneck speeds, your screams being drowned out by the whistling wind as the world flew past you. There was no stopping it once the descent had begun, and you had figured that out the hard way.
Once you had reached the bottom and the ride had stilled, you realised that the wind had carried parts of you away. There was a hole in your heart, and you couldn't find a bullet. The aftermath was there, but you couldn't find the perpetrator.
He had hidden it, kept it to himself, slept with it under his pillow like a secret diary. You should've reached under the surface and fired it at him, but you were so blinded with love and all the golden things in life that you couldn't even see it.
But now that you were through, you could see it all. You mixed the thought of him with vodka or any other form of drink that you could get your hands on. You always drank with your friends, just to be on the safe side, but it was always you that ended up completely shitfaced and barely able to string together a sentence.
It was always babbles of Lando's name combined with all the reasons you either hated him or wanted to fuck him until you passed out. The line was very blurred, and the polarities were becoming evermore indistinguishable. They'd never mention him, and neither would you unless you'd had been on the tequila - which you often were.
To be fair, the man was everything to you. He was the center of your universe, the Danny to your Sandy, the Harry to your Sally. But clearly he just saw you as the Cha Cha to his Danny in the end. He was your first love, your first special someone, and he broke it off like it was a summer dream, ripped at the seams.
After these drunken affairs, your friends would leave you in bed and hope you'd go straight to sleep instead of crying yourself to slumber like you had when the breakup was fresh in your mind. Once they had left, you'd open your phone and vent about him in anonymous forums.
You referred to him as 'Landon' as opposed to his actual name, which was your inebriated brain thinking you were being sneaky and deceptive. Namelessly, you'd rant and rant and rant until your brain gave up and surrendered to the intoxicated need for sleep.
The next morning you'd open your phone with a banging headache and foggy recollection of the night, and the first app open would be the chat forum. You'd read your words and it felt like the bullet wound in your heart became increasingly bigger.
You hated the burning itch that it presented you every time that it stretched a few inches bigger, and it was becoming too hard to ignore. You tried to pretend like you really didn't care, that it was something that didn't bother you, but it did.
But it did.
You had put up with him, loved him, been there through every single little thing that went on in his life, yet he had brushed passed him like it meant nothing. What a shame it was that you had dealt with his bullshit and this was how he had repaid you.
What a goddamn joke, was it all just an act? A falsified version of himself that he used to make you inclined to do his bidding and wait on his every beck and call? You were so oblivious to lies and deceit that you didn't even notice the impending doom that was flying towards you at precipitate speeds. And by the time you had noticed, it had pierced through your flesh and soul.
A soul that had really believed that he loved you. Yet, even now, even with countless shots of tequila surging through your veins, you couldn't decide what had caused him to decide that you weren't enough for him. Well, maybe you were at one point, but you sure as hell weren't anymore.
Was it the rise to fame? The becoming of the rising star in F1 known as Lando Norris: the dashing young driver with a loveable personality with that dash of juvenile charm? Or was it your complete lack of notability in the public eye that turned him away? He realised that he could have anyone he wanted and he was like a kid in a candy store, eyes ogling at all of the endless possibilities that were better than what he had.
As the days dragged on and his apparent lack of love for you became an even heavier weight on your shoulders, your mind started to spiral a little more. It felt like Lando didn't really care. You saw him in the media, on TV and he was fine.
Even when it was fresh and the dust hadn't quite settled, he had put on a brave front. You knew he was an awful actor, and the majority of people could tell, even with all of the PR training in the world. Lando would be Lando, and nothing would ever change that. Not even you.
It was like he didn't quite realise the pain that he had caused. He hadn't quite grasped the severity of the situation and the gravity of what had happened. Maybe it was his slightly immature approach to things, but you hoped he was hurting.
Hell, even if it was just a fraction of the pain that you were feeling, it was better than nothing. Anything he would give you was better than nothing.
It was getting to a point where you didn't feel like talking, but everyone else does. You had seen the speculations about the two of you online and everything. Some people thought you were secretly still together, others thought it was just a physical relationship as opposed to anything deep and meaningful.
You'd read through your own anonymous posts that you had made under the influence, and you hated yourself for continuously bringing it up, always making yourself relive it and ripping the stitches on your heart apart.
The hole made by the Lando Norris sized bullet that couldn't be filled by anything else. You couldn't find anything else to fit into the cavity that he had left behind. He still slept with the firearm of his words and actions that would always damage you.
You wished you could have the energy to bite back, maybe send him a text slating him and making him feel how you felt. But you didn't. All of your energy was spent on repairing yourself, trying to gee yourself up and move on .
At the end of the day, you didn't think you would ever quite move on. You could fill the void with a few different objects, but there would always be a few gaps. A few pieces missing of the puzzle. A few parts of yourself that he had destroyed, and you would never get back.
|masterlist|five seconds flat|
A/N - Hello my darlings! Am I dead? No, not quite. I have had absolutely 0 motivation, but I am 25k into a mafia!Charles thing, so... That's something, no? I have so much stuff half finished and so many ideas spilling out of every orifice, so there's a shit tonne of half finished stuff laying around in every program I use to write on. I have had this finished for a while, I just couldn't be bothered to make the banner thing. And I am on a roll with Carlos right now like... the past 3 things I have worked on are all his. Got a lot finished for Charles that just hasn't been posted, so I'm getting around to it. Anyway, hope you're all enjoying summer break, I know I sure am. Love y'all 💖💖
#f1#formula 1#f1 x reader#f1 x you#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagines#formula 1 imagines#formula 1 x you#fluff#lando norris#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris imagines#lando norris angst#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 x y/n#ln4 x you#ln4 imagines#ln4 angst
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Roommate!Ghost x you
I know I’m not the first person to think of this but now it’s stuck in my head. Definitely gonna be multi parted as my brain warms up in the microwave of fanfic ideas.
No content warnings but mdni
Being roommates with Ghost or Simon as you know him. Well, rent prices are just ridiculous and he had been on the roommate app you had downloaded. He didn’t talk much, that was the first thing you realized. Basic questions that were listed on your profile but you just got the feeling that he was just being thorough. He ran a background check and could feel something stirring within his gut. Such a cute thing lookin’ for slightly reasonable rent prices in this city. You were in university, he didn’t know what you majored in but he could easily squeeze that answer out of you later. Part time job at a local cafe and a perfectly clean record. Even better, you were fucking stunning, so of course he picked you. Why wouldn’t he?
Another thing you noticed about Simon is that he was gone, a lot. When you asked he just blandly answered “Military.” Before he got off the couch and made a beeline to his room. Fuck, he had to be a human heater, his spot was perfectly warm. Whenever he was deployed you tried to keep everything nice and tidy. It was easy to fall into a routine while he was gone, this roommate that felt more like a guest that appeared and stayed for a week or two before disappearing again. Sleep, eat, go to your classes, work, clean and study before bed. It was finals week and your final projects were piled up to the ceiling as you worked tirelessly at the table. You had worked through your fourth cup of coffee but it just wasn’t doing the trick as the words blurred together. Your heart stops, your blood runs cold as you hear the door open.
You shot out of the chair, it skidded across the floor with an awful noise and there in the doorway was a man in a skull balaclava. The scream that left you was blood curdling as you threw the nearest item to you at the man, which just so happened to be your textbook. “Ah fuck!” The man cursed as it hit his head and you blinked. Simon. You just attacked your roommate and if your blood hadn’t turned to ice before, it sure was now. “Bloody hell.” He muttered and shut the door behind him, “What’da do that for?” He asked as he ripped off his balaclava, some kind of paint around his maple brown eyes.
“You scared me.” You muttered before you repeated it again but stronger this time, “You scared me. Simon, what the hell? Why do you look like you’re about to rob a place?”
He barely contained his snort, strangled down the smile that threatened to break out on his lips. “What are you doing up so late?” You glared him, breezed past him with your shoulder barely clipping his jacket covered arm as you went to your textbook turned defense weapon. Without another word you gathered your stuff up and went to your room. Leaving Simon standing there in the living area with his balaclava in one hand, slightly dazed before he realized he left his duffel bag out in the hall. “Fuck.” He muttered, though he wasn’t sure if he was cursing leaving the duffel bag outside or you for making his gut twist and nearly making him snort.
#ghost x you#ghost mw2#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#roommate!au#roommate!ghost#cod simon riley#simon riley imagine#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley cod#simon riley x reader
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FIGHTER — l.heeseung
PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader GENRES: very little angst, a bit of fluff at the end WC: 9.2k+
WARNINGS: mention of fighting, cuts, mention of being drunk, some swearing. let me know if i forgot anything else, please!
SYNOPSIS: you've never seen a fight up close before, let alone an illegal fight. it was a different scenario that caught your attention, really fascinating. now one thing stuck in your mind beyond the whole fight scene: but why did the cute fighter treat you so badly when the two of you had never seen each other before? did he have a good explanation for this?
NOTES: listening bouncy by ateez made me have this idea. i changed the writing a few times and even wanted to continue after the end, but i thought i'd leave it that way to have, who knows, a part two? idk, you can tell me if you wish that. hope you like it!
masterlist
You could call yourself an adventurous person. Perhaps a complete explorer of the little and big things in life. Parachuting in, changing course from medical school – done for five long semesters – and running off to study social communication and be a respected copywriter in your field.
But even with a good profession, you never stopped exploring, being encouraged, and even accompanied by your couple of best friends, Sunghoon and Kasey.
You met the girl at the university of communication. Sharing a dormitory with a stranger back then would not make you imagine that today she would be your best friend and also your best friend's girlfriend. Introducing her to Sunghoon at one of your first frat parties was easy. Kasey was super communicative, while Sunghoon was shy. The contrast made the two hit it off right away and, after years, they were still together even though university was over.
Those nostalgic thoughts left you with a smile adorning your lips as you stepped out of the shower, looking at your reflection in the mirror and grimacing when you saw yourself with wet hair.
Friday night, end of work and you left early. Almost as if she knew what was coming, Kasey texted you as soon as you entered the house and threw your bag next to the couch.
We are going out today. Light clothes and a super different place, I think you'll like it.
You always enjoyed her crazy antics, that's why you two hit it off from the first minute inside that university room. She was just as adventurous as you and this could only be a work of fate, bringing two people together as best friends to explore every crazy and interesting thing in this world.
That's why, without delay, you ripped off your clothes on the way to your bathroom and took a long shower. Washing your hair and taking a little longer with the liquid body soap just to feel a little more relaxed after work. Your night out with your friends was always a lively one, and since your chores had been heavy that Friday, only the hot water would be able to wash away – almost – everything bad before you put on a proper outfit and dried your hair.
As you rambled about your outfit after your hair was properly dried – your arms sore from trying so hard to give your strands a good attention – a sigh left your lips, before a thin scream echoed through your room. The sound of the phone startled you and quickly made you turn towards the bed.
The quick steps to grab the handset and answer it on the next ring.
"Hi, I'm listening" you smiled even though your best friend couldn't see.
"Did you dry your hair?" how Kasey could know you so well, you had no idea. Chuckling, you mumbled in agreement before she continued "Okay, fifteen minutes for an outfit. Sunghoon and I will pick you up."
She didn't even let you answer her, hanging up just as quickly as she called. Surprised at how little time you had, you ran to your closet to get something to wear. Smiling at your clothes thinking that at least you would have a ride home. Without spending on a car app and without worrying about some stranger bringing you home.
Taking one last look in the mirror after choosing your outfit, smiling satisfied at what you saw there, you left the room. Even more smiling after seeing that Kasey and Sunghoon were really punctual that day, texting you in fifteen minutes saying they were already waiting for you at the entrance of your building.
Locking your apartment and taking the elevator leisurely, you reached the first floor and waved to the old gentleman doorman who was always so smiley every day.
"Good evening, Miss y/n" he greeted you. You greeted him back, wishing the man a good night before heading out and locating your couple of friends' car.
Getting into the backseat, your hands touched Sunghoon and Kasey's shoulders respectively.
"So..." the guy who was driving gave you a sideways glance, smiling at you "Ready for tonight?"
"I don't know where you guys are taking me, but I think I'm ready" your answer made them both laugh, along with Kasey making sure you loved the place.
You couldn't deny a huge chill in your stomach, even though you knew neither of them would let you down with the surprise. Kasey was a great thinking mind, while Sunghoon executed the whole plan of the crazy outings you all had. That's how it worked. But this time, you being a mere guinea pig for the Friday night surprise made you even more excited. Because what were they up to, anyway? That they hadn't told you anything at all since you got a text a few hours ago?
Please let it be nice, you thought, clutching even tighter to the leather of your jacket and settling comfortably in the back seat of the car as Sunghoon began to drive away, guided by the lights of the night city.
The reddish lights of the poorly placed sign flashed right in front of you. You, clinging to Kasey's arm, stared at the place with a long sigh coming out of your lips. Sure, you'd watched boxing matches on television and even bought tickets to one on some vacation trip to the States. But it never, ever crossed your mind to be in a giant shed, people back and forth as the words slowly came out of Kasey's mouth.
"Can we call it an underground fight?" from the look Sunghoon gave her, that was the name of what was going on.
Maybe because of the lack of regulations and because none of the fighters were, in fact, professionals, they were just there for the money and the numerous bets that were going on. You recognized this by the stand that was set up right next to the small staircase where there was a makeshift grandstand. Men of all shapes and sizes bet on so many names that you could not identify anything that came out of their mouths. A few women who were there, with fewer clothes than you were wearing, waved and greeted you and Kasey even though they didn't know each other. Maybe a brief recognition that you were the only one there among so many men, besides the others in their bikini tops who were standing in the middle of the fighting ring just waiting for it all to start.
Sunghoon approached with a smile on his lips, both hands carrying glasses that surely contained some drink for you to savor while you were there.
"So, did you like it?" he asked after handing you a glass. It was so full that you decided to share it with Kasey, it was still too early to drink so much.
"It's different" you said, smiling as you drank some of the beer and handed it to your friend "Is that really not dangerous?"
"Look, y/n is scared?" Kasey joked before sipping on the same glass as you "But… I don't think so, do you, love?" she looked at Sunghoon.
For a few seconds, he decided to stay quiet, just looking around trying to find words that could comfort you or make you less tense. Because he knew that's exactly what was happening, just like it happened to Kasey when he told her.
"They're used to it, y/n. But inside there's everything they need in case they get hurt" Sunghoon pointed to the left corner, it looked like a dressing room of sorts and his smile widened when a tall man appeared in the doorway and waved at him, beckoning him in "Come, I want you to meet my friend."
"He's hot" Kasey whispered to you.
"I heard that!" Sunghoon shouted loud enough, making you both laugh as he intertwined his fingers with Kasey's, and she raised her other arm for you to hold fearing she'd lose you in the crowd.
Passing by the one you were referred to, it seemed to be a bit quieter there. The flow of people was much smaller compared to outside. The voices were loud and fast, but there was no danger of bumping into anyone and so you managed to get a little free from Kasey's arm to give her and Sunghoon more privacy as they walked a little further ahead.
Through the dark corridor you were now passing, your best friend stopped in front of the black door and gave a quick knock before entering, without waiting for a confirmation.
"I can't believe you came" the amused voice greeted him, and Sunghoon was soon laughing as he let go of Kasey's hand to enter first and hug the man.
Your friend looked at you and winked in your direction, maybe that boy was the handsome one she had told you about, but his face was still a mystery because the hug lasted so long. It looked like he and Sunghoon hadn't seen each other in years.
"Did you think I would lose your fight today?" shit, Sunghoon's friend is a fighter, you almost yelled at that. Sighing, soon Kasey's voice greeted him and she hugged him too. The man's laugh was as infectious as your best friend's who was laughing at some comment he had made before releasing Kasey from the hug.
And last but not least, you. Your gaze finally caught the really handsome guy in front of you. Was he hot? For God's sake, Kasey lied, he looked like a Greek God. Well-drawn lips, a pointed nose, and an extremely lined, pearly, beautiful smile. Those teeth could reflect all the light in the room if it wasn't for the lamp that illuminated all of you.
"Heeseung, this is y/n, my best friend" Sunghoon introduced you. You smiled at him the same way he smiled at you, nodding and walking the steps that separated the two of you to hold his hand "Y/n, this is Heeseung. My best friend and coworker."
Your brow furrowed briefly and it didn't go unnoticed by either of them, making Heeseung chuckle some more before letting go of your hand.
"This fighting thing is secondary" he explained afterward "Sunghoon is not part of it."
"Not directly" he held his friend by the shoulders before he pulled him away from you to sit him back down in his chair.
Surely Sunghoon would have to explain to you a bit more about that because it was quite confusing, and looking at Kasey, you realized that that information had also been told to her not too long ago. Judging by the way she was sitting on the small couch staring at the two men who were talking non-stop.
"So" Heeseung's voice cut off the moment you were about to start a conversation with Kasey, making you both look at him "Where's your boyfriend, y/n?"
Boyfriend? You frowned again, so confused by the sudden question coming from him. Your eyes searched for Sunghoon who let out a small sigh, nibbling his lip as if he already knew what was coming.
"I… I don't have a boyfriend" you smiled and this time your action didn't mirror Heeseung. There was a frown on his face and the countenance that was once so cheerful was now so closed and nervous.
You almost felt guilty for telling the truth, why was it so bad not having a boyfriend? Was it a sin for you to be single? Your mouth opened to say something, but he looked away from you before he even let you continue.
"What was our deal, bro?" Heeseung stared at Sunghoon, still frowning and even more serious, if that was possible.
"Relax, it's just a night of fun" he explained.
"No, it's not" Heeseung got up from his chair and walked towards you, stopping a considerable distance away from you from Kasey "You need to go home, y/n."
"What? Why?" as a reflex to his actions, you got up from the couch and stood in front of him, the same distance he was keeping from you.
"Hey Heeseung, it's okay. She'll be with me and Hoon…" Kasey smiled without showing her teeth, seeing that even that hadn't disarmed the boy.
Heeseung gave up trying to say anything and walked over to Sunghoon without saying a word. He looked at the door just as there was a knock and his name was called, indicating that the fight was about to begin.
"Don't do that anymore, that wasn't our deal" he touched Sunghoon's shoulder before grabbing the bandages and gloves he always wore. Taking one last look at you, Heeseung left the room and slammed the door as hard as he could.
"What the fuck was that?" Kasey sighed and you let out all the breath you didn't know you were holding until the moment.
Your eyes stung a little, but what was the reason you would cry anyway? Trying to take a deep breath and contain it, you looked at Sunghoon for some bigger explanation.
"Do you have anything to tell us?" his girlfriend insisted, knowing that you wouldn't say anything else for a good while while you were still recovering.
Sunghoon was quiet for a good few minutes, just the sound of people passing back and forth outside the room. Someone had come in to get something Heeseung had forgotten, and as soon as he left, something dawned on the boy who had stayed there with you two.
"Just… Give Heeseung a break, okay?" he tried to explain, giving a smile so loose that neither you nor Kasey seemed to believe it.
That wouldn't be much more than an answer, so you decided to accept it and get it over with. Hoping so hard to be able to go home because that place was already getting exhausting for you.
Unfortunately, or not, Heeseung was a very good fighter. If you told him that he would take it up as a real profession, it would not go unnoticed. Or if you hadn't heard it come out of his mouth that it was secondary, like a hobby, you would never believe it.
He had precise blows, a cheeky grin on his face every time he hit his opponent. When someone hit him, the most he would get from Heeseung was a bit of spitting on the ground and jeering, before he would practically finish off his opponent in minutes.
"Round three" the man shouted from the middle of the ring. Even though he didn't need to, Heeseung seemed to accept while the other fighter had also agreed.
Taking a seat on the bench in the corner of the ring, he listened intently to the instructions of an older, fat, sweaty man. The towel he carried on his shoulders was so dirty that you could hardly believe it when Heeseung accepted it to wipe his forehead. He needs to take a shower urgently, your mind screamed as soon as the boy returned the towel.
When they gave the signal for the fight to resume, a girl – typical of wrestling – walked by in extremely short clothes into the ring. Whistles and cheers were heard throughout the venue. You held back your laughter when you saw Kasey almost shoot Sunghoon with her eyes, him staring at her for the entire moment until the woman disappeared from his field of vision and left the venue to the fighters alone.
"Come on, Hee! You already won!" Sunghoon shouted to his friend, encouraging him as he always did.
When he stood up from his seat, Heeseung looked at Sunghoon and smiled broadly, or as much as his mouthguard let him do. But as soon as his eyes traveled down Sunghoon's side, stopping directly at you, his smile fell. It was as if there was something about Heeseung that he just couldn't look at you with a smile.
The boy decided to ignore that and turn his attention back to the fight, adjusting his gloves and focusing any and all attention on the man in front of him.
It wasn't that hard to know that, with a few more blows, Heeseung had been named the winner. Bettors celebrated the boy's victory, while others who had bet on the loser, lamented the money they would have to pay.
All for the sake of entertainment. All for the sake of the underground fight that Heeseung loved, because he knew that at the end of the night, the money he would win would be more than enough not to step foot in there for a few weeks.
"Let's go find him" Sunghoon whispered to Kasey, seeing that she stared in your direction with his words even if you weren't hearing very well because of the distance between the two "I promise Heeseung won't say anything to y/n now."
"If he does, he and y/n can discuss" Kasey whispered back, but she let her boyfriend lead the way as the three of you made your way back to the less crowded part of the shed.
Where you, strangely, felt it was best. Even if it meant being in the same room as Heeseung for a few minutes.
Like the first time you were there, Sunghoon entered first and as soon as you entered, the room was not silent. Three more people besides you, your friends, and Heeseung were there. All men excitedly handed several wadded-up notes of money to the newly crowned champion of the fight. Heeseung was sweaty and panting, but he had such a bright smile on his face that you held back the urge to make a vomiting noise when you remembered that he had smiled like that before he was a complete asshole to you.
"Tonight was awesome, man" the gray-haired boy ruffled Heeseung's hair, taking a few steps away and stuffing the money bills into a plastic bag "When are you coming back to fight?"
Heeseung sighed loudly, taking the bag and putting it inside a bag that was probably his.
"Maybe in two weeks, or three" he closed the bag "With this amount I can go almost a month without showing up here."
"Really, tonight was the highest of the month" another man celebrated "You deserve it, man. I think it's good to get some rest too, you've worked hard."
"Thank you" Heeseung thanked and greeted the men before they left.
When he heard Sunghoon's voice congratulating him, he was still smiling, even looking through the reflection of the small mirror in front of him and looking straight at you. Replying to Sunghoon that he could have a few weekends like a normal person, without fighting or having cuts all over his face, Heeseung's gaze had never left you at any point.
And the strangest thing was that you couldn't stop looking at him either. It was as if you tried to look away, but half a second later and your eyes would go back to his reflection.
"And you're still here?" he finally turned around, finishing what he was doing and looking at you properly now.
You noticed the movement of Sunghoon and Kasey as if they had foreseen what was coming.
"Should I have left?" your tone of voice was the same as his, only a little lower for the distance you were standing. Heeseung snorted.
"Should have" how audacious, you wanted to mentally curse him for that "This place isn't for you."
"Of course. You should know a good place for me since you don't even know me."
"I know enough to know it was a mistake for Sunghoon to bring you here."
That hurt. In such a ridiculous way because Heeseung was a stranger to you, so why had his words hit you hard? Why, again, had your eyes started to sting and you were seeing everything in a blur?
"You're shit, Heeseung," your words came out so desperately that he didn't even care to hear them. It was as if the boy was used to being called that, but his Adam's apple shook hard at the way he swallowed dry. Why had he swallowed dry with you calling him that?
"Y/n…" Sunghoon called out to you, but not in time to get you trapped inside the room, because you had already left.
You could have also heard wrong, but Heeseung also called your name. Or was it your crazy head because your steps were so fast that you didn't want to go back?
Your gaze blurs more and more as you passed people, hearing shouts of another fight breaking out. You just wanted to leave.
Without difficulty finding the exit, you were already outside that shed breathing the cold air of the streets that embraced your body. And for some time afterwards, you let the tears fall on your cheeks.
"Y/n… Hey, sweet" you sniffled loudly at Kasey's voice right behind you, wiping your face ever so quickly. But to no avail, it was impossible to hide anything from your best friend.
She turned you around and hugged you slowly, stroking your hair and kissing your cheek.
"Let's go home, please?" you asked in a whisper, holding yourself back from crying again.
"Come on" she said "By the way, can I sleep in your apartment?"
"Why?"
She lifted her head to look at you, eyes reddened just like yours. Shit… Had she cried too?
"Sunghoon and I had a fight because…"
"Because of me?" a pout formed on your lips, you wanted to cry again because that had never happened before. And it was something you dreaded, having your best friends fight over you.
"Also, but—" she sighed, squeezing your cheeks and placing a kiss on your forehead before pulling away from you to hug you from the side "He and Heeseung have some deal that Sunghoon didn't tell me about. And if they treat my best friend like that, I'll fight."
You looked at her beside you, laying your head on her shoulder as she laid her head on yours. Both of you in that position for so long that you had lost count of how many people had passed by or how many people had left disappointed at losing a fight.
"Let's go home. There's a lot of goodies we need to eat in my closet" you broke the silence, hearing her giggle right after.
You sighed wistfully as Kasey walked through your apartment door holding another bouquet in her hand.
"From Sunghoon again?" you held back a laugh as she agreed, kicking off her shoes to head to the kitchen.
Unhurriedly, your steps followed your best friend as you watched her search for a pot big enough to fit the new plants she received.
"With another regret card, this time I almost gave in" she pouted as she placed the flowers into the water, setting the makeshift pot on the kitchen counter.
Almost two weeks she decided to stay with you in your apartment until she forgave her boyfriend for feeling bad about the last fight. You asked her to stay as long as she needed, perhaps feeling less guilty for still thinking it was all because of you.
"Why don't you talk to him? I think Sunghoon already got what he deserved."
"I'm still upset about the last time we talked, he wouldn't tell me and even allowed Heeseung to talk to you like that" she pulled you into the living room without much difficulty, you wanted to go back there anyway and continue your cooking program before taking a long shower to make dinner.
Taking a seat on the couch, Kasey joined you in watching the show as she laid her head on your lap. You decided to end it there, after all, it was between the two of you and you had tried everything to get them talking again in that time. Even though you didn't respond so well to Sunghoon's messages, because you were upset with him too. But you wanted the good of your two best friends, so giving in was a good thing.
What if I text him now? You thought. After a few hours of watching television, Kasey had taken a short nap on your lap. Breathing quietly with his hand still petting her hair.
With your free hand, you reached out far enough to reach your cell phone and go to Sunghoon's chat. But before you could type anything, your best friend's number was calling you.
Was it a sign, perhaps? He wanted to talk too and that could be good. Or not. You didn't know it, but you answered quickly hearing the noise on the other end of the phone.
"Sunghoon?" you asked as soon as you got no answer, not even a hello from the other end.
"Oh, she answered… Y/n? It's Jake."
"Jake!" you smiled into the handset even though no one could see it, not even Kasey who was still sleeping on your lap "What's that noise?"
"We came to a bar after work" you heard him gasp as he walked to a less noisy place. Maybe he was heading outside the establishment "But some things… Well… Didn't work out so well."
You could swear he was smiling shyly now as if he had done something wrong. Your mind wandered to the first time you met him when Sunghoon introduced his coworkers. Jake was so energetic and funny, and he gave such a shy smile when he broke one of the cups at Jay's house. Maybe it was that smile he was giving now.
"Tell me what happened, please…" you stirred a little, praying that your friend wouldn't wake up. And it had worked. You managed to get up from the couch and walk to the kitchen.
"Jake? What are you doing, man? Give me my cell phone back!" it was Sunghoon, and judging by his slurred voice, the boy was drunk.
"Be quiet and go with Sunoo, he needs to clean that cut."
"Cut?" for a second your voice came out so loud that, with Kasey's words on the couch, now your best friend was awake and Jake was regretting having scared you that much.
"Okay, okay. Sorry y/n. Can you… Can you…"
"Y/n? Did you call her?" Sunghoon picked up the phone under Jake's protests, taking the lead to talk to you "I know you're mad at me and Heeseung and we don't blame you" why is he talking about Heeseung out of nowhere? You hadn't even mentioned his name "But please don't kill us today."
"Kill you? What happened?"
"I guess being away from Kasey made me mad" he huffed, you thought that probably at that moment Sunghoon was playing with his own feet for being embarrassed about what he was going to say next "They bumped into me, I got into a fight and… Well…"
He went quiet and so did Jake. For a moment you pulled your cell phone away from your face to see if the call was still going on.
"Sunghoon?"
"Come pick us up, please?" he asked in a whispery tone, almost afraid someone would hear him.
"Okay, give me the address, we'll be there in a few minutes" your gaze quickly traveled to Kasey's drowsy figure, which was slowly waking up at the sight of her face.
She knew something was up, and you took a deep breath as Sunghoon passed you the phone so Jake could give you the address.
You knew where it was, so it would be easier to locate as you hung up the phone.
"Did something happen?" Kasey yawned.
"We need to go out and get the boys, I need you to come with me" you were so quick to deflect her questions, after all, you didn't have much time and she could see for herself. You didn't know much either.
Other than enough said by Jake and the mumblings of a drunk Sunghoon. You just mentally prayed that nothing that serious had happened, even if your trembling hands on the steering wheel of the car told you otherwise.
The nightclub was full and you didn't feel intimidated by the stares, because all the women were very well dressed and you were… in a sweatshirt. There was no time to change and even Kasey couldn't get out of her work clothes, because as soon as you said Sunghoon and cut in the same sentence, she just put on her shoes and ran with you wherever you went.
Disengaging from some people, apologizing to others for rushing through and getting to the other side of the club, you and your best friend finally reached the bar. The meeting point where Jake had texted you, and luckily, he had just arrived too.
"Thank God!" his sigh of relief was mirrored by the two of you, quickly hugging you on either side "Sunoo and I were the only ones in favor of calling you two" he looked at you and then at Kasey, smiling sincerely at the presence of the two of you there.
While he kept up a casual conversation, trying to distract them until they got to the back of the club, they both answered everything without much excitement, not least because the focus was on finding the boys who – possibly – were hurt. Sunghoon had a cut somewhere, that was the only information they had.
"The security guard let us stay here until you two arrived" Jake stopped in front of the door, it looked like a private room.
"Was it that bad?" Kasey tried not to look so desperate when Jake didn't answer with words, he just shrugged and sighed before walking in, being followed by her and then you.
The room was well lit and the table had only bottles of water on it, which made you feel more relieved. No alcohol, they had taken a break to recover.
Your gaze wandered around the people, stopping on Sunoo who was trying, uselessly, to make Sunghoon sit still while he cleaned the famous cut. It was on his lower lip and that could only have been caused by someone.
"Who did you fight with, Park Sunghoon?" your friend's voice caught the attention of all of them inside that room. So far no one had noticed the presence of the newcomers.
Sunghoon almost fell when he got up from the sofa if it wasn't for Sunoo who held him as soon as it happened.
"Kasey? Baby" he pouted, almost crying with the pain it caused him that his lip was bruised. Sunoo let go of him as her best friend reached for him, feeling his arms wrap around her.
"What happened?" he smothered her in a tight hug, saying anything you could at least hear. Paying attention to the two of them was funny, because in years of relationship, maybe that had been the most serious fight you've witnessed from them.
And it was weird, you couldn't deny it.
Your eyes went to Sunoo, smiling in appreciation for taking care of Sunghoon so well. Or at least trying to. And quickly a gaze ran to the other side of the room, stopping immediately on Heeseung.
He also seemed to have a cut, but he was located on his eyebrow. He had never looked away from you since you had entered that room, and judging by the way Jake put his hands on your back, pushing you towards him, it was your turn to go talk to the boy.
"Not me."
There was no denying that Jake was stronger, and this battle for breaking free from his hands to Heeseung would be a defeat. So you just accepted it and stopped in front of the boy.
"I'll help Sunoo and tell the security guard we can go now" Jake whispered to you, looking at Heeseung and flashing a smile "Behave yourself and be civilized this time."
"Okay, daddy Jake."
"Ew, gross. Don't call me that!" Jake flicked his middle finger at Heeseung and left, walking with Sunoo out of the room and leaving just the four of you there.
You wanted some sign of Kasey and Sunghoon, but their conversation seemed far more interesting than looking in your direction and answering the thousands of questions forming in your mind. Like, for example, why were you here with Heeseung? Sunoo could have looked after him or the boys could have told you what to say to the security guard and you would have gone there. Not standing there to look after someone who had been ridiculous to you.
"I think I can hear your neurons frying from here" Heeseung's voice invaded your ears and you sighed loudly, but not loud enough for him to hear since the music from the whole club was still invading every corner of the place. You turned towards him and tried not to express any reaction to that.
In vain. When he quickly grabbed your hands and forced his weight to stand up, getting only a few centimeters away from your body.
"Sorry, when I get drunk I can't… I…" his gaze was restless, paying attention to every little detail of your face. Whether it was your wide eyes and curiosity about his next move, or even your ajar, reddened lips that Heeseung swore he didn't want to see so closely or he might lose control.
"Heeseung, Sunghoon" Sunoo called out to his friends at the same moment Heeseung shook his hand. You let all the air out of your lungs when everyone inside that room paid attention to the newly arrived boy "Let's go out, I think y/n parked the car near ours. It won't be a problem for us to leave."
You all agreed and Sunoo guided Kasey, who had Sunghoon's arms around his body so he wouldn't stagger as he left. You wished you didn't have to think about it, but it was impossible at the same moment as Heeseung's hands gripped your shoulders.
"Can I hold on to you? I don't want to fall halfway," his voice whispered between your hair, close to your ear. And that damn shiver went through your whole body.
If he wasn't drunk, you could have sworn it was some kind of tease on his part. But without much thought one of your hands went to meet his on your shoulder, intertwining your fingers a little too tightly to hold him back.
"Be careful, Heeseung" you said, not knowing if he heard or not. You just wanted to get out of there and you did.
Walking out of the club with Sunoo in front to guide the way while Jake helped Kasey and Sunghoon.
Without much delay you reached the outside, you had indeed parked your car near the boys' car. Strategically or not, maybe out of sheer desperation to just get there and find them, but at least it had worked out.
"Okay, someone needs to take Heeseung's car. He won't drive like this" Sunoo held up the keys between his fingers.
"Hey, there's my keys" he grumbled, dropping your shoulders to stagger over to Sunoo. Unsuccessful in picking up his car keys, he was without a shred of reflex due to his drinking.
"And I came with him" Sunghoon whined softly, laying his head on Kasey's shoulder for a few seconds, but quickly getting up "I had an idea!"
"Oh shit, should we worry?" Jake asked amused, eliciting a small laugh from the group for the first time all night.
Sunghoon decided to ignore the joke made to him, looking at each of the people there until his eyes stopped on Heeseung.
"You knew that y/n did a few semesters of medicine, right?" you frowned at that question, after all, how relevant could it be since it had nothing to do with the subject.
"Yeah, we talked about it that day" Heeseung agreed.
"What? Did you talk about me?" you almost shouted, startling the two drunken chatters. Jake and Sunoo decided to turn their attention to their cell phones, talking to their girlfriends to give them the news that everything was okay later in the evening. Meanwhile, Sunghoon and Heeseung ignored – or tried to ignore – their questions and focused on the small talk they were having.
"She can take care of your cuts and take you home."
If your life were a cartoon, your eyes would pop out of their orbs the moment you rolled them. How could Sunghoon think such a thing? And how Jake was laughing at that situation so unpretentiously while you denied it with several nods.
"Sunghoon, what are you doing?" Kasey asked in a whisper.
"Helping my friend, I want to make amends with both of them" but his answer had been loud enough, and your eyes remained wide.
Jake, realizing that nothing would come out of his mouth and that Heeseung would not answer anything either, decided to intervene.
"Y/n, I think Sunghoon meant that you can take good care of Heeseung's cuts" he said low, just for you to hear since Sunoo, at that moment, was talking to Heeseung. Gave some guidance because he couldn't drive in that state "He cares the least about it and we're afraid it might get infected."
"I don't— Jake!" you whined.
"It's all right. Anything you can call me, you know" he touched your shoulder with him in a subtle motion "I live two streets away from Heeseung's apartment. If he's an asshole, you can yell."
It was just saying no. Just deny it and say that someone else could take such good care of his cuts other than you, not least because your medical school had been a long time coming. But of course, that first aid part hadn't been forgotten by you.
Shit, shit, shit. Why was no denial of any kind going on in your mind? Why were you walking towards Sunoo and reaching out to take the keys to Heeseung's car? Why were you handing your car keys to Kasey?
"Take care of my baby, please" you said to your best friend as the metal of the keys slipped out of your fingers and into hers.
"I will" she smiled, feeling Sunghoon's arms go away from her body so he could walk over to you and hug you.
"You're the best friend in the whole universe, I swear" Sunghoon whispered as he hugged you tightly. You, returning the hug, smiled as he kissed the top of your head before slowly pulling away "Take care of him for me because I know he'll take care of you."
"Okay, mister drunk" your smile made him smile too, and meanwhile, you clutched Heeseung's keys between your fingers and turned to him.
Without saying a single word, the boy pointed to the dark car in the row of a few cars a little further away. Then it was just a matter of saying goodbye to your friends and getting out. And so you did.
Greeting one by one until there was no one left, you let Heeseung lead the way, hoping he wouldn't trip or hurt himself on the way to the car. Safe and sound, he leaned against the passenger door and smiled without showing his teeth, indicating that it was that vehicle that would take you both away.
You unlocked it, got in, and were followed by him until you both closed the door for good.
"I need your address now" you said.
He just agreed, saying he would drive you to his apartment. As you started the car, your attention was always on the road, afraid to look away from him. But that didn't stop Heeseung from looking at you.
And he knows he did it all the way to his apartment. Without regretting it for a second.
Heeseung let you rummage through the bathroom cabinet when you said the first aid kit was in there. Complying with your requests, he walked to the kitchen and drank at least two full glasses of water in an attempt to relieve the drunkenness – which had been leaving his body since the moment he got into the car with you. This time, pulling up a chair to sit near the table, the young man waited patiently until you returned. Or he thought he was patient, faltering the second you walked through the kitchen door.
Under the bright light of the kitchen Heeseung could swear that your skin glowed something completely different than he had ever seen in his entire life. Your face was so focused on the small briefcase and some tape in your other hand, that he sighed when he saw a small pout forming on your lips.
"I already washed my hands, okay?" your voice was low due to your proximity to him, placing the case on the table behind Heeseung. He straightened up in the chair and, as if by automatic, his legs opened for you to fit your body in there.
Your gaze fell on Heeseung's legs, hesitating whether or not to stay there, but it was the only way. The only right way to be so close so you could clean that cut with the almost dried blood.
Tidying his hair so that no strands remained in front of his face, he slowly slid between his legs to stand there, a few centimeters from Heeseung's body that was sitting almost static in front of you. He closed his eyes as soon as he saw you pick up the cotton and pour something in, feeling the icy material against his skin.
"What…"
"I'm cleaning it" you kept talking quietly, sometimes making your breath hitch against his skin "You were sweaty and it was open for a long time, we don't know what's in there."
He murmured in agreement, continuing to keep his eyes closed and not catching any moment of your care. Only occasionally feeling your fingers against his hair to push it away from his face. Or when the absorbent cotton slipped out of your hands, or even when you wiped away some of the contents you had used to clean up and it was dripping, almost going onto his cheek.
"Heeseung?" you called him after a few minutes.
"Yeah…" he opened his eyes, meeting yours that was already looking at him in anticipation. A small smile formed on his lips and Heeseung didn't know why he smiled back at that.
"This might sting a bit" he rolled his eyes down his hands, seeing a small bottle there. Surely he had bought it at the insistence of his coworkers, after all, Heeseung had no idea how to heal a wound. In all of his – occasioned by fighting – Heeseung always had someone in the ring who did it for him, so worrying about taking care of it wasn't his area.
"You know y/n, you don't have to—"
"I do, you won't get it without some medicine" your scolding made him go quiet, realizing that had shut Heeseung up, so you continued "You can squeeze me or ask me to stop if it stings unbearably, okay?"
Without a single word, he just agreed, thinking it was a complete exaggeration. Especially since he fought practically all the time, he had already been beaten up a lot and had many cuts on his face, why would it burn so much that he would do those things?
"Fuck" Heeseung almost screamed when he felt his skin burn and the pressure of your fingers with the cotton from the cut.
In the same second, he grabbed your waist, his strong hands squeezing your shirt and consequently pulling your body closer to him. It made you completely hug Heeseung. And he didn't seem to notice, not even for a moment as he still held himself tightly against you.
Your breathing faltered for a few seconds, the closeness to him making you inhale the scent he had. The musk of his fragrance entered your nostrils as you closed your eyes momentarily and opened them, focusing on the care while Heeseung still kept his hands on your waist.
"It's okay, you can let me go now" you whispered as you took the cotton with the medicine, discarding it just like the other materials you used to clean his wound.
"Shit, I'm sorry" realizing what he had done as soon as he opened his eyes, Heeseung released his hands from your waist, remaining seated.
You didn't say anything else as you put away every single thing you used, throwing what you needed in the trash and going back to grab your kit bag. Your walk back to the bathroom was longer because your steps seemed slower and your thoughts traveled to Heeseung's fingers against your body. As he walked out of the kitchen in the same slow steps, processing what had just happened.
It wouldn't be a big deal that touches because he actually felt pain and your body was the only tangible thing in front of him. But why did Heeseung's fingers tingle? Why did he want more of that contact?
"Okay, your stuff is already put away" your voice snapped him out of his reveries, making the boy stare at you a little dazed by the whole situation.
"Thank you" he tried to smile knowing that it had looked more like a grimace because you laughed softly as you searched for the things that you had left on the couch "Hey, where are you going?"
"Home…?" your lips pressed together, preventing any expression from being used as you held up your cell phone and the cold sweater you had put there when you arrived.
"No, you can stay."
"Heeseung, I—"
"Seriously y/n, I insist" he interrupted you, swallowing dryly when he saw a glimpse of hesitation in you, almost dropping your phone in it's place "It's the least I can do after you took care of it" he pointed to the cut that no longer bled "And you can rest assured, I like sleeping on my couch."
"No… Not really" you tried to protest.
"I'll be right back" with an overwhelming stubbornness, Heeseung disappeared down the hallway of the apartment, making you snort and not giving you a chance to answer anything.
He didn't take long, but it felt like an eternity to you when he came back with some blankets and pillows in his arms, throwing everything on one of the armchairs.
"I'm not very tidy with things, but I promise my bed is a clean and safe place" he smiled, running one of his hands over the back of his neck quickly. Heeseung was at a loss and didn't know how to act from then on "You can sleep there tonight, I'll take you home as soon as we wake up."
You had nothing else to say but accept the offer. Leaving at that hour from Heeseung's apartment wasn't a smart thing to do, taking an app car wasn't very safe either. And Jake had probably already gone to sleep, you didn't want to bother him, even if the boy lived a few minutes away.
"Thanks, Heeseung" was the only thing you managed to say before approaching him and touching both of his hands. Slowly brushing your thumb across the back of his hand, an intimate and quick act, before letting go of his hand and smiling once more. You said your goodbyes and headed down the hallway to the bedrooms, running into his room as your cheeks began to heat up.
Meanwhile, slumped on the huge sofa, Heeseung felt a tingle in his hand again. But this time, a huge smile was on his lips, and now he could tell why this time.
You didn't know you would miss waking up to the smell of Heeseung. Even though it had only been a few days since you had slept over at his place, with him dropping you off at your apartment door, it was getting more and more confusing. Why couldn't you just stop thinking about him? After all, Heeseung had been a asshole, he'd only been nice out of courtesy and because you'd taken care of his cut, nothing could be fairer.
But no. He had a way of ruining all the thoughts and strategies you yourself had devised to ward off anything related to him.
Hearing the doorbell ring relentlessly, you huffed and walked lazily to the door, balancing your coffee mug as you let your hair down from the grueling day you had at work.
"I hope you haven't forgotten anything here at all, Kasey."
"Maybe Sunghoon can get it for her later" Heeseung's voice almost made you knock over all the coffee you were drinking. Your eyes widened at the sudden appearance and the words had simply vanished from your mind, as if you had unlearned how to speak.
"What… What are you doing here?" shit, you wanted to scream, why were you stuttering in front of him?
"Can I come in?"
No.
"Yes, come in" you said, completely betraying your brain from barring you while there was time.
After entering your apartment, Heeseung walked shyly to the center of your living room with you trailing behind, admiring every detail in it.
"Sorry to come unannounced, but…" he stopped looking at your wall decorations, turning around and facing you "Sunghoon said it was either this, or you wouldn't answer any of my messages."
"Why?" you asked.
"Because maybe he let it slip that you've already called me every possible name" he shrugged, not seeming the least bit affected by it. You could feel your cheeks burning, and from the embarrassed look on your face, Heeseung managed to smile.
"Well… I had reasons" your coffee mug rested on the coffee table as you approached him, crossing your arms in front of your chest as Heeseung held out his hands. A bag dangled from your fingers and you glanced at it quickly, letting out a laugh afterward.
"Accept my apology, please" you took the package and then bluntly took it from there.
The bottle of wine looked expensive enough that you never thought of buying it. It was the kind of gift that only your best friends would give because it never seemed to cross your mind to spend something like that.
"Heeseung" his name came out of your lips like a little melody, and he loved it.
"I didn't know if you liked flowers or chocolates" he whispered "But Sunghoon always comments on how you and Kasey go out drinking, I just figured."
"Thank you" that had been so cute that the pout on your lips made him sigh, and he didn't care that you had heard.
"It was for fight day, actually."
"What?"
He was quiet for the briefest of seconds, waiting for you to put the bottle of wine away somewhere appropriate that you could use later or whenever you pleased. As soon as you approached him again, Heeseung nibbled on his bottom lip as he rambled on about how to tell you about it.
"Ever since I started this thing, me and the boys have had an agreement" the agreement that neither you nor Kasey knew about, so you just nodded because he had to keep talking. And because you were too curious to say anything "We don't take any kind of unaccompanied girl to the fight."
"Why?" Heeseung pondered whether or not to continue, but he had already gotten that far. If he turned back, you'd surely get even angrier and never see him in front of you again.
"I've been around this shit long enough to see what the guys are capable of over there, y/n" he had a serious tone, but he didn't sound angry at all. Just emphasizing that the subject wasn't any kind of joke "I've lost count of how many times I've heard absurdities from the guys there and what they did with any girl who stepped in that place" he made a disgusted face, recalling facts and even stories that the men told.
It was stomach-churning and Heeseung would spare you any details, telling you only what was necessary to get the matter over with.
"So I made a deal with them about it, that they could only take some girl if she was accompanied" finally, Heeseung didn't know he had gotten so close to you while telling that story. Looking into your eyes when he was finally a few centimeters away from you.
"That's why you asked if I had a boyfriend?" your voice almost faltered from lack of use, watching him slowly agree.
"I was so mad at Sunghoon for breaking our agreement that I ended up taking it out on you, so for that I'm sorry" Heeseung's hand touched your arm, causing you to undo their crisscross so he could hold your hand and intertwine your fingers in his.
"It's okay, you had a good reason. You could have just said it instead of being an asshole to me."
"I know that, that's why I want to make amends" Heeseung slowly squeezed your fingers in his, staring at their joined hands as he looked back up at your face.
"How?"
"By inviting you to my next fight this weekend" he smiled when he saw your face contort in confusion.
Why would Heeseung call you to the place where he said all sorts of things happened and, on top of that, have the first fight that made you hate him – not at the moment – but you didn't want to admit it.
"For you to fight me again for being alone there?" your question made him laugh, Heeseung knew he wouldn't get a different answer than that. And he expected it, so his next move had been almost calculated.
Closing the small distance between you two, he let you feel the small pressure of his body against yours. One of his hands ran down to your waist, the first place he touched you.
"No" Heeseung's voice was so low it was only audible because of proximity as he lowered his neck enough to let his face close to yours "Because you'll be with me."
"But you're going to fight" you said as the tip of his nose touched yours, a small sigh leaving your lips at the contact.
"Exactly" he whispered "I'll be watching you the whole time" Heeseung squeezed your waist, still whispering every word as he brushed his lips against yours "And it was nice to have your eyes on me while I was in the ring, you know?"
"Really?" you remembered the small exchange of glances between the two of you when it all went down, thankful that now you both had your eyes closed so he wouldn't notice the blush on your cheeks.
"Really, because it motivated me in a way."
"How?"
"On the one hand I was mad that you didn't have a boyfriend and were alone there" Heeseung touched his lips to yours, the softness almost making you cry out. He chuckled softly, the vibration going straight to his mouth because of how close the two of you were "On the other hand I felt relieved, so I have an excuse to call you to my fights."
"I guess I can accept that."
He wasn't sure if the answer was from your sentence or the way his lips were still lingering on yours. Heeseung was going to take that as an answer to both thoughts, getting carried away with the fact that now you would go with him to the fights and finally get to taste your lips on his.
© ikeuverse, 2023. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.
#heeseung angst#enhanet#hyfenet#heeseung fluff#lee heeseung fluff#lee heeseung angst#enhypen angst#enhypen fluff#enhypen masterlist#enhypen x reader#heeseung x reader#lee heeseung x reader#enhypen heeseung#enhypen au#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagines#bay writes.
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happy august😔🤘
happy august indeed… you can have this barely finished august pt.2 😶
‘tis the damn season
there’s an ache in you put there by the ache in me
The last time Alessia heard your name was during your last match at the Emirates after you decided that you were leaving Arsenal. Jonas called out your name once the match ended and there you were, a bright smile and an expression full of relief, as you made your way around the stadium to wave goodbye to everyone.
Alessia remembered it so vividly; the girl of her dreams, all dressed up in her favourite color.
Alessia was sure she fell in love with the color red even more after you.
Now, two years later, you were on the other side of the world. You didn’t keep in touch—why would you? You two were never friends. We were just fuck buddies, Alessia finally told Lotte a few months after you left to the NWSL. It didn’t come as a shock to Lotte, especially since she claimed that she often saw you exit Alessia’s house or the subtle marks around Alessia’s neck even though her boyfriend wasn’t around.
Alessia was sad and mopey and her heart longed for you and she didn’t know how she let it all go. That was mainly why Alessia packed her bags and moved away from London, anything to escape the place that held so many memories of you.
Georgia was waiting for her in Munich, welcoming Alessia with open arms and allowing her to crash on her couch until Alessia found a place. And after a few weeks of sleeping on a crappy couch (no offense to Georgia), Alessia finally found a place not too far away. It wasn’t as good as her place in London, but it was enough for her.
Looking around her flat, Alessia realized that despite you never stepping foot there, Alessia could still see traces of you around and Alessia figured that must be the universe’s way of making her pay for breaking the heart of the sweetest girl Alessia had ever met. Alessia’s hoodie that you once said was your favourite laid askew on the couch. The autographed Luke Combs CD you bought for her was hung on the wall of the living room, along with a painting that Alessia had no idea who it was by—only that it was your favourite artist. And the only picture you both took together was framed and placed on the nightstand next to Alessia’s bed so it was always the first thing she saw when she woke up.
Despite the million traces of you around, Alessia didn’t know what you were up to, none of your mutual friends were brave enough to bring you up.
So it was a surprise that after two years, she finally heard your name again on a Friday night.
She had a photoshoot with Adidas, apparently the photographer adored you. James couldn’t stop talking about you, listing all the great qualities you had (like Alessia didn’t know them by heart already), and offhandedly mentioning how this Adidas campaign will include a couple of footballers—one of them being you.
Alessia couldn’t help but wonder if James talked about her to you too. She couldn’t help but wonder if your heart stopped at the mention of her name, like she did with yours.
Alessia couldn’t help but wonder if the reminder of her weighed heavy on your heart, because she knew the further James talked about you, the more Alessia wanted to rip her chest open at how suffocating it all felt.
-
That night Alessia decided to finally look at your Instagram page. It was a miracle that you didn’t block her.
Your picture was of you smiling, your hair in a loose braid, you were glowing and you were still the prettiest girl Alessia had ever seen.
Her hand was itching to type up a ‘Hello’, to ask how you were. But Alessia knew better than to do something so stupid—something so selfish.
And as she was about to close the app, a picture caught her eye.
Of course you had moved on. It would be crazy that someone as amazing as you didn’t have a million people lining up for you.
You moved on. That was good. Alessia couldn’t possibly take away your happiness once again.
Alessia wondered where you would be today if she chose to stay that day. If Alessia didn’t leave you all alone when you were begging her to stay.
Maybe you would both still be in London together, maybe you would be right there next to her, sleeping soundly in your bed together, your arms draped around Alessia’s stomach as she watched some reality show on the TV.
Shaking the thoughts away, Alessia immediately put her phone away and willed herself to sleep.
Alessia dreamt of waking up to your long hair against the pillow next to hers. The disappointment in her chest when she woke up alone made her long for something that had always been out of reach.
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