#also: its not perfect but i cannot be arsed to continue it

[heph]

Camping trip

Loosely inspired by this fic! Do mind the content rating.

[cardansriddle]

Hi:) Could you do prompt #19 where reader gets very frustrated because they’re taking on too much (a lot of school work, pressure from family, and people acting mean/rude to them, then Tom tries to understand what shes going through by telling them to “let their anger out”?

His Comfort - Tom Riddle (1K celebration mini-shot)

warnings: none. just fluff.

A/N: did not proofread, so apologies for any mistakes. also, I'm posting this half drunk so bear with me..

༻♛༺

The library hummed with the sound of pages turning and little whispers of students as the exam period got closer and closer. Your back was hunched in the uncomfortable chair that you were sitting on, devouring bits and pieces of information from the textbook in front of you. Your fingers were aching from the pressure of the quill digging into them as you wrote continuously, and you were sure you could feel a little bump starting to form on your index and middle fingers.

You sighed as you flipped another page, and scribbled another note down on your almost full parchment, all while attempting tediously to hold your drooping eyes open. Exhaustion did not even come close to describing the state you were in. The state you had been in for the past month.

A timid call of your name brought you back to reality as you rose your head to see who had interrupted you.

"It is almost curfew time. You should head back and sleep. You have studied enough for today." Aaliyah nudged you gently, brushing back a few strands of hair behind your ear as she gazed at you worriedly.

"It is not nearly enough." You bit back in reply. "Why are you here?"

She rose her brow in disbelief at your curtness. "You are acting like a proper arse right now. What is up with you?"

You huffed, turning back to your book and avoiding the girl's eyes. "I am fine."

A moment passed where neither of you uttered a word.

"Is there anything else?" You glanced up at her expectantly, wishing she would leave you be.

Aaliyah stumbled over her words before she shook her head and reached into her robe pocket. "A letter arrived for you from your parents today when you missed the feast."

You took the letter from her and nodded. "Thanks. You may leave now, I need to concentrate."

She opened her mouth to speak again but you held up a hand and beat her to it. "Look, I appreciate the concern. I really do. But I cannot rest until I finish this."

"I understand. But self-destruction does not entail success." She muttered lowly before she departed, leaving you in solitude with your thoughts. Your eyes fell on the unopened letter on the desk, your name written upon it delicately by your parents. With a frown, you tore the letter in half and ignited it on fire.

What was the point in reading it if you already knew the contents inside? They had been writing the same thing in every single letter and you had enough of it. Their demands that you focus on your studies and not bring shame on their name had been echoing in your mind throughout your life like a constant reminder.

Your eyes drooped as you got back to your essay. Your fingers struggled to hold the quill and as a result of your loss of concentration and exhaustion, a drop of the ink landed right in the middle of the parchment.

A frustrated groan escaped your throat as you tightened your hand on your quill, causing it to snap in half from the pressure. "Fuck."

"Reparo." A low masculine voice sounded from your left. "Shall I give you detention for being out past curfew?"

Despite the circumstances, a small smile made its way onto your lips. "Tom." You said as you raised your head to look at him. His hair tumbled on his forehead in perfect waves, looking perfect even at that hour. His eyes were cast down to gaze at your not-so-perfect form with a disapproving gaze.

"You are over-exerting yourself."

"Says the Mr Perfect Student. You always skip meals to study. Why is it wrong when I do it?"

The lines on his forehead creased as he furrowed his brows. "I only skip when it is necessary. You, however, miss almost every meal. That is not wise."

"Tom, you know how my parents are."

"Yes. But most of all, I know how you are. And I am quite confident you can pass your exams without all this...carelessness."

"But they—" Tears welled up in the corner of your eyes as your thoughts kept drifting to your parents. Your hands balled up into fists as you attempted to keep your emotions at will.

Tom, the ever-observant wizard, noticed your frustration and with a small sigh sat in the chair next to yours. His palm rose to rest on your back. "Why do you bottle all this up? Talk to me."

You let out a humourless laugh. "I know you do not want that. I would not wish to lay my burdens out in the open for you when I know you do not—"

"Stop." He commanded, his tone harsh but low. "You are stupid if you think I do not have an ounce of care for you."

You had to look away from his piercing, yearnest gaze.

"Let your anger out. Do not let it build up and poison you."

"How? How do I unburden myself?"

"Piece by piece. Scream if you have to. Tear your parchments if it helps." He said before the corner of his lip quirked up. "Or my favourite one is to hex someone into oblivion."

The small laugh you emitted this time was a genuine one. Your smile remained on your face as you sensed his hand rubbing your back in a comforting manner. "Who knew the great Tom Riddle was so good at comforting people?" You teased him.

He huffed in response, his hand travelling to cup the space between your cheek and neck. "Do not get used to it. Or I might hex you as well."

"Oh, he has a sense of humour too!"

The smirk on his face shifted to form a genuine smile. "It is my most well-kept secret."

You put your own palm over the back of his hand that was still on your jaw and nuzzled your face into his warm skin. He leaned closer to rest his forehead against yours and you wished you could freeze the moment for eternity.

"Come. You must rest now." He whispered, the breath of his skin fanning your face. He brushed his lips against yours for a small moment and in his kiss, you felt warm.

"Tom?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Bulgaria brings a mentally reassuring anthem to Rotterdam 2021

I’ve said so that VICTORIA herself sort of agreed to have done “Tears Getting Sober” if she was allowed to, but for one I have to thank that EBU said that the artists can’t have their 2020 songs back? You’ll see why when I get to the review after two boring paragraphs of text with technical info, for the country that is Bulgaria!

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Victoria Georgieva (or VICTORIA, but I can’t be arsed to continuously capitalize her name so I’ll just say Victoria from now on) was born a singer, for she started to sing at the age 11, went to a specific school of angel voices (no really that’s what it was called), and tried to go to the X Factor while a liiiiiittle too young until realizing that she needed to wait for a few years, and wait a few years she did, and went on to the X Factor again.

She didn’t win, but she still got to sign a contract and sing some stuff in Bulgarian before she decided to rebrand, started singing in English, and completely decided that ballads is her style. She cannot really do upbeat most of the time. So you can’t really have a bop from her in the future. (Well except that there’s a couple of songs in her discography that I personally classify as “bops” but they’re more like... idek sad bops?? but they can be danced to, but I get her, she doesn’t do anything that’s more loud and upbeat and clubby and summery kind of - in short, nothing you can go “YAAASSSS QUEEEEEN” over to.)

The entry she ended up singing, “Growing Up Is Getting Old”, is what I can describe to be about overcoming the emotional twists and turns inside of you as you grow older, because as it turns out, it ain’t what you thought it would be - but if you push just a little further, you realize that if you’re growing up, maybe the life isn’t so bad, afterall - you are able to get up. Somehow. It was written as part of Boris-Milanov-led songwriting camp held during summer, and a lot of people seemed to be a part of it because multiple different folk have songwriting credits on the potential Bulgarian entries this year.

REVIEW

Let’s get this out of the way immediately. I prefer “Growing Up Is Getting Old” to “Tears Getting Sober”. The former sounds a lot less irritatingly underwhelming and a lot more positively overwhelming you with warm emotions and sunglow. “Tears Getting Sober” was a song I could never really connect with - maaaaybe the last chorus is much better on there, but it doesn’t do much for me either, I guess.

Their 2021 forray however is a much different kind of thing - once again, going for lyrical non-cliches, Victoria tells a tale about her inner turmoils and continuing in life, in a way that’s personal to her and also kind of relatable to all of us. We all have these moments of fear and anxiety and nervous systems aching. If only there was someone who’d tell us that we’re worth saving... thanks a lot Victoria, you’re the MVP. Filling in the void that Netherlands from last year had brought us but not anymore - another personal song about getting old and having those kind of feelings inside - and doing a great job at taking the baton in the right way (even with featuring the word “grow” in both of the titles, neat coincidence).

Not only the lyrics feel like a hug, the song just emulates ray of sunshine and golden glitter coming down from the sky, Molly Sanden style. The violins in the G major key playing so precisely, building up momentum throughout the entire song, slowly but surely - starting with the ticking clock in the first verse that may have subtle violin in there; and the first chorus is just so simple piano, and then the second chorus has a tinge of electronic something, and the last chorus goes full in with the backing vocals boosting the song, after Victoria performs the quite magnificent bridge... now I don’t have synesthesia but I associate music keys with colors, and to me G major would always come across as something yellow or orange - “Growing Up Is Getting Old” is a perfect example of why’s that for me. And obviously, Victoria’s love for harmony-humming (even if there’s just one instance of it after she sings “star crossed soul”) complements the song to a T.

And it turned out to be a much better choice than last year’s. Maybe finally a female ballad I am getting behind.

Now I wanna know why the bookies don’t appreciate THIS entry as much as last year?

Granted, now it’s 2021 and the environment is so much different, and the songs have changed, and the dynamics have changed, and now there’s suddenly more competition at stake. And for Bulgaria it fares quite much more underwhelmingly - well, at this moment they’re like 6th, which isn’t bad, but there’s a lack of sung praises coming its way, not quite a feat that “Tears Getting Sober” actually achieved, being the bookies fave right before the cancellation of last year. In general the year has been pretty dry for the previous winner picks like Iceland, Lithuania and this, but I can’t say that the previous winner bets from 2020 are all that dead either? Though I gotta say that Bulgaria wasn’t gonna win 2020 anyway, so it’s a lose-lose in this case.

Also I just can’t at that music video being a little dramatic at the beginning, with the cancellation of Eurovision being presented as if it were a worldwide disaster during which we all shall lock ourselves into bunkers and wait until the better days, eventhough the panini is not war and war supplies kit is not just enough to survive it. But it seems like that the world is quite literally falling apart, as evidenced by Victoria going through all kinds of pathways away from her living room, meeting a  (presumably) mini version of her somewhere in between, and literally surrounded by the shaking environment by the last moments of the song

before we realize it was just reality recursing from the TV’s point of view that Victoria was watching all along, and then she leaves the living room again, but in her world, everything is normal and she could just go wherever she wants by car. Even I can’t come up with a storyline ending that’s somewhat intertwined and all plot-twisty and more confusing than that. But props to her team I guess

Approval factor: Let’s say I somewhat approve this message. Follow-up factor: For the sake of argument let me just say that Bulgaria is moving on a great path, eventhough the former entry leaves me cold, at least the current entry keeps me warm at all times, like a cup of cocoa and a good blanket. Please Bulgaria, never run out of sponsors. Qualification factor: I’ve seen one or two people throw around the “surprise NQ” tag for this song and I don’t get why??? There’s no way that the tense atmosphere of semifinal 2 would sure-fire-ly kill Bulgaria, even if they have a lot less chances to win this year than they had the last one. There can be some shock NQs indeed though, and if there are, I am paging... uhhhhh Finland? Idk why but you might see what I mean if I ever get around to reviewing “Dark Side”. Bulgaria? Never. It may not win the semi but it will cradle around the top 7 somehow.

INTERNAL NF CORNER

That’s right, Bulgaria managed to do both.

At the time when one other of Bulgaria’s songs got released, within the *Special* Eurovision September 1st-onwards range, people naturally succumbed to their primal instinct of asking whether that’s her Eurovision song... only for Vic to probably announce this early on that no, it’s just *one* of potential ESC entries she’s harbouring. And the remaining potential ones were all on her debut EP. Who actually got a more well-orchestrated schedule for everyone to follow, and yet, people were much more keen to cling on the first EP song out of the gate, “Imaginary Friend”. Now I get that the fans of that song were super upset at the revelation that IF is not going, but it is a technically strong song for the sake of being a technically strong song, and I don’t want to think that Victoria is only forced to choose the songs that can win for her, so she’s such a sweetheart for gravitating towards a song she could dearly care about. So props to her team saving the initial winner for last to be revealed, lol.

Though wasn’t her personal favourite a Billie-Eilish-lite-upbeat-kinda-track Phantom Pain?

Which was also my personal favourite?

Look, I know that favouring the only non-ballad in the whole lineup (well “Ugly Cry” is also not quite a ballad but its beat is kinda so-so, so I tend to ignore it) is kinda sus, also, y’all are sick to death to Billie Eilish comparisons, but I do believe that Billie would never be able to do an “Imaginary Friend” while Victoria could do a “Lovely”. This makes me remember the cover art of Billie’s debut album where she sits on her bed, dressed in white, and so is Victoria on this very MV, with strange shit going on behind her in the mirror. To the mirror, her reflection acts creepy, back again.

The other 2 I don’t feel like caring about enough, sure they got their cred, sure there’s one entry properly crediting Milanov (who seems to not have an actual entry this year that’s purely attributed to *him*, as opposed to 3 last year, 2 of which were performed by acts that returned this year????), sure there’s the funny thing about having a funeral song where out of this and Finland only Austria managed to send a quote unquote “funeral” song, but I think the funeral song would’ve sounded better if the pre-section of it on the “Phantom Pain” video was THE “funeral” song itself, and not whatever was that other funeral song.

In between there was a public sort of survey where people could submit feedback and positive words to Vic’s choices to help her decide - I didn’t get to vote but I feel fine with the winner eitherway, and that counts for something! And the end result was revealed at the very end of Victoria’s very own rooftop concert.

The colors on the circle thingy of this, they were meant to symbolize all Bulgarian entries up to Victoria’s 2nd one, in pictograms that kind of reminded me of Coldplay attributing every song on ‘Mylo Xyloto’ its own little symbol.

The concert was not only full of music and also adverts for the inaugural sponsor iCard (that also included some element of foreshadow in between the suspense, you’ll see why), but also the Bulgarian folk talking before each song, saying all the positive nice words they can for Vic; that she’s talented, and that they were so excited that Bulgaria was doing well in the odds last year prior to cancellation, bla bla bla... also some people were proud of voting for Bulgaria outside Bulgaia, and they made puns about the forthcoming songs on the concert that they were introducing, and so on, and there was also someone called Dara, whom I really want to be sent by Bulgaria one day to show off that they’re not afraid of doing trashy-esque bops that don’t necessarily win

Also they reminded me that Lucy from No Angels (aka the sole reason Bulgaria 12′d Germany in 2008) still exists.

Also Azis.

There was also an intermission where Eurovision 2021 acts could say all the nice words to Victoria on their own part. And several artists chose to... how shall I put it... use up their several seconds rather interestingly. Like how The Roop would say something real quick only to delve into more of their usual “let’s dance, let’s discoteque! *hand scissors* ;P” self-promo, and Senhit carelessly being allowed to say whatever she wants in Italian without subtitles <3 Sorry sis, they’re only given to people from another white-green-red flag-color country.

About the iCard foreshadow... so there’s their advert about Victoria waiting in the line to get something in the Soft Vocals Store, and people ahead of her giving her money the standard oldfashioned way, and the old lady at the counter is... slow, to say the least. After a good amount of time spent waffling around, Victoria finally pulls out the iCard application and pays for the imaginary items she wants, then narrates some stuff about said application, and a Eurovision entry of hers plays when the old lady is at home, spending time in front of TV enjoying the music. Before the concert, the song that played was “Tears Getting Sober”. The advert played once more before Victoria’s big entry decision and entry MV reveal, and in place of the 2020 entry, “Growing Up Is Getting Old” was the one that sounded out loud... Now you may think that there were attempts at some sort of spoilage here, but after that ad before the concert EP NF result, there was this other advert starring Victoria that played “Imaginary Friend” at the end, a last-ditch effort to trick viewers into going “see? just because that ad played the chosen song doesn’t mean it’s the chosen song!! this song could as well be a chosen song as well!!” yeah no shut up GUIGO IS the chosen song kthxbyebye.

ANY LAST WORDS?

Having said all that praise, I actually have “Growing Up Is Getting Old” fairly low on my ranking. It’s just because the year is so damn good and I have a lot more songs to care about more than this, but I appreciate the gesture that this singer is sending very much. Good luck on your road to conquer Europe, Victory-ia, I’m sure you get the best of the experience and all, because you would deserve it.

[spacehologramcollection]

NSFW Alphabet with Hanzo Hasashi/ Scorpion.

Continuing with the theme of disappointment and smut. Here’s the NSFW Alphabet for Hanzo/Scorpion. I’ve wrote this from Hanzo’s perspective more so. Also, I’m more of a Sub fan than a Scorpion so... this may be top tier trash, but not in a great way. SO sorry... 

Warnings; Sex, NSFW, Smut, more smut, language, did I mention smut? Angst a little. 18+ 18+ under the cut.  Gif not mine. 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) Hanzo is very caring and soft when it comes to you. You are precious to him, soft and gentle. He’ll treat you like royalty afterwards. He cannot stand to leave you a mess, it’s just not right. He’s the opposite of how he is with the majority of people. Cold, hard and stoic. He melts when he’s with you. B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) He loves his back. He loves to feel your fingers drag down it whilst he’s fucking you. He also loves how you grip at it, panting and begging for more. He’s not a vain man, its not that he’s proud of his back, but its more the feeling he gets from it. His favourite part on you would be your eyes. He loves looking into them, both during a sexual situation and a non-sexual situation. He feels at ease, and he can gage your emotion and reaction through them. They calm him and excite him at the same time. But he’s also into your hips, he loves how they mould to his hands, how they fit into his open hands. The feel of the dips against his fingers. How they meet his thrusts. Everything is perfect. C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) He’s not into making a massive mess. He’d prefer to cum in you rather than on you. If you’re not down for that, he’d be fine pulling out or using protection. But cumming in you would be his preference. He’s not sexually explorative, so he’s never really experimented in terms of where to cum. D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Has always dreamed of fucking you after training. Like him pinning you down and fucking you right there and then. It all links in with what motivates him and gets him excited. But, he’d love the idea of it. E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Not at all. He’s had one previous partner and that was his old wife. Even then it wasn’t massively explorative. Receptive to learning, though it will take him some time. You’ll have to convince him and almost boost his confidence. He’s confident in a lot of other aspects but this throws him. You gotta show him the ropes and improve it. F = Favourite Position (We are in Puritan times once more, visuals are banned, but written descriptions are fiiine) At first missionary, just because it was the only position he’d ever really done. He knows it and feels like it’s great. After exploring and experimenting, it’s a tossup between either doggy or you on top. Anything that gives him access to your hips. He’s more into you on top, just because he gets the eye contact and the feel of your hips. He’s a sucker for watching you bounce on his cock. He’s still in charge though. Don’t get me wrong, he’s more dominant than submissive and that doesn’t change when you’re on top. G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) Could you imagine a moment where he was goofy? Nah me neither. He’s been through a lot, it has left him bitter and shattered. So, he’s extremely serious. Just like he is in real life. Sex isn’t something that he takes lightly. It’s more a connection than pleasure. The pleasure is just an added bonus. He’s shitty with his emotions and language; so, sex is an easy way for him to connect with you. H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) It’s trimmed but not overly. He doesn’t care? Why would he care. If it bothers, you he will take into consideration and will trim a little more. But he has no time for this tomfuckery. It’s not gross but not neat. More tamed. I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)  Sex is very intimate for him. It’s a sacred act he holds highly. He doesn’t casually fuck and doesn’t sleep around. Also, he may struggle with the whole saying ‘I love you’ If he thinks too much, he starts to feel guilty about moving on. But during sex, he’s so focused on you. Your eyes, your lips pursed in pleasure, back arched in pleasure and moans echoing the room. He focuses on you and it becomes easier. After he can open up a bit more and feel more relaxed and calmer. Eventually, he’ll be able to open up before, after and during sex. But he’s still intimate and romantic. However, don’t expect rose petals on the bed, someone playing the harp and some Marvin Gaye on. It’s not happening. Romantic in his own way. J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) Sexual desire is a distraction. One that could end up with him being injured, maimed or killed. So, he’s learnt to deal with it. He’ll do it if he has to. He’d rather release the pent-up sexual frustration than be injured through it. It’s more a chore than anything. His hands feel a lot different after he’s had you. Like there nothing in comparison to yours or your body in general. K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) Hair Pulling. He’s fine with pulling yours if you want him to. But he’s more into you, pulling his hair. He loves it. It can send him into a sensual override easily. He’s also into light bondage, like tying you up, only if you’re down for it though. This is something that would come from sexual exploration. L = Location (Favourite places to do the do) He’s a bit reserved but a bit more up for experimentation. He’d be down for some outdoor fucking. As long as he was sure nobody would catch you. Even if they did, who the fuck is going to say shit about it? Maybe Johnny? But who doesn’t he try and fuck with. He’d be more into bedroom sex, just because it’s comfier and more intimate. Would happily fuck you in the shower though. Wall sex is just terrific for him. You can claw his back, he can burrow his head into the crook of your neck and he can grab your arse. AND nobody is going to accidentally walk in on you both. Could you imagine, you hear the noises and just walk the other way. M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) So, he gets off on your defiance. He’s never going to admit this. But he likes to see you challenge him at times. Poke the bear so to speak. When you’re training it excites him, every little blow, touch and aim gets him excited. It’s the rush of the adrenaline and the fact someone is challenging his authority. He’d never hurt you obviously. But he will end up pinning you, it could be against the floor or the wall. It doesn’t matter. If you aren’t up for it, he won’t pursue. Not that you wouldn’t be. Destroy his back. Nobody else see’s it so you can go to town on it. The harder the better. It reminds him that he’s fucking you so good you’re struggling to hold on. Gotta inflate that ego. N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) He won’t hurt you, hurt himself, or have you take things OTT. There’s light teasing and light bondage, but he will not escalate it, to the point it jeopardises himself or you. He still has (some) reputation. Will not boast about sex or private information.  He doesn’t need Kuai knowing that you deepthroated him last night. Or that he gets turned on by you yanking his hair. Not him yanking yours but the other way around. Doesn’t need to be divulged. He would not be happy, if Johnny found out. Would not be able to cope with the clown knowing. O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) Up until he’d met you, his experience with oral will have been non-existent. It fucking destroys him. Stoic, hard-arse man? More like melted, moaning fucking mess. He’s just sat in a chair, unable to move because his legs may give way. He fucking loves receiving. It’s so nice to feel your mouth close around him… but he does love to give. He loves watching you come undone from his mouth, your eyes locking with his. You don’t have to say anything, but he knows your begging for more. He does prefer to receive though. He would totally give you oral with your back pressed against a wall. Legs around his shoulders, his arms hooked under your thighs, and him eating you out like a man starved. He wouldn’t be great to start with and would take some practise, but he’s got the patience to train at it. P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) It can vary depending on; Where you are fucking, the emotion being felt and what you’re actually doing. If you’re both rage fucking or are just generally fucking horny, it’ll be fast, rough and kind of sloppy. If it’s more of an intimate moment, it’ll be slower and more sensual. If you’re giving him oral, he’ll have a preference for slow yet rough. If he’s giving you oral, expect it to start out slow and teasing, before turning to fast and wild. Pacing is something he has to work on, he’s a bit out of practise, he won’t ever admit it, but you can tell. Just go with the flow, let him work his pacing out and help him. You’ll reap the rewards. Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) Hated them when you first stared. His sexual experiences all came from proper sex before you. He slowly grows to love them. They can be fast and convenient when you’re both horny, but time is a bit of an issue. He learns how to pleasure you and get all the things he and you love from proper sex, from the quickies. R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) At first, due to him not being confident, he is not down to experiment much. He’ll stick to what he knows. He’s a proud man and doesn’t like to admit defeat. After a while, he’ll start to want to try new things. Then it’s a world of exploration. He’s got some reputation to uphold so he will not risk anything that damages that or hurts either of you permanently or is just malicious. S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) He has a fair bit of stamina, which comes from years of training. He would prefer one round in comparison to many. Quality over quantity you know. He can go for a long time, but he will take into consideration your stamina. If you’re wavering he will finish. He doesn’t expect you to match his stamina, it’s nigh on impossible. T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Yeah, he doesn’t own any. Not a massive fan. He’s got a lot of pride, and he does, internally, pride himself on him being able to get you off. He’d much rather it be him than a lump of plastic. U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He can tease but it depends on your and his mood. If he’s in a teasing mood it can be pretty heavy teasing. If he’s in the mood for it, you can literally push his buttons to the point he’s fucking you pretty hard. He doesn’t mind being teased if he’s in the right mood for it. Don’t do it in front of others however. He’s got honour and dignity, and nobody else needs to hear it. V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) He can be loud, well loud for a ninja. He’s spent his whole life trying to be silent. But due to his lack of experience. He can easily be over-sensitised. He tends to be louder when you’re giving him oral. He has nothing to muffle the sound with. You’ve caught him biting at his knuckles before. When he’s fucking you, he will muffle his moans using the crook of your neck. Pretty sinful noises, and ones you would have never expected to have come from him. W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) NSFW; Will on occasion, speak in Japanese whilst fucking you. You have no idea what he’s saying but it is pretty hot as fuck. It’s really just a mix of praise and absolute filth. He’ll never tell you, you need to figure out what he’s saying. He knows how much it teases you and he loves it. SFW; Loves to cuddle. He will never admit this and will only do it in private. He’s a Master of being a mardy arse (Yorkshire slang for moody) and he doesn’t want to admit he has a softer side. But he can’t help himself around you. He actually would not mind being the little spoon on occasion. Loves to feel your arms embracing him, trying to ground and anchor him from spiralling. Feels guilty, because he has thought about marrying you on a lot of occasions. Specifically, when its just the two of you, your arms entangled and your soft breath hitting his chest. X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) On the larger side. Probably pushing 6” Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Not very high at all. To start with. He loves it with you, the feel of your skin on his makes him crave it more. But it’s still not overly high. He’s not a very sexual driven person. He’s more into the intimacy rather than ‘hey you wanna fuck? GET OVER HERE’ Yeah no, that’s not happening. Sorry to spear pop some bubbles. Sex is intimate and not just something to be taken lightly. But he does grow to love it and love the pleasure from it a lot more. Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Waits for you to fall asleep first. He likes to be alert and ready for anything. Nothing and no one will take you from him. Or hurt you whilst he’s around. He also loves to watch your face and muscles relax as you sleep. It reminds him of how lucky he has to have a second chance. But it does make him feel guilty. The guilt can make it hard for him to fall asleep.

[daisyannewinchester]

Just a Bit Further

I’m back with my second fic for these beauties. This one is a Game of Thrones fic. I know it’s not my usual Witcher content so I’m not expecting it to get much attention but I’m gonna post it anyways because I’m proud of it. It is based off of this pic. Fic under the tab. Enjoy!! 

“C’mon, Arya. Just a bit further. Please. I know it hurts. You’ll be alright.”

Arya grunts at Jon, bloodied hands holding the spear head in her stomach, trying to keep it from moving. A particular shift in her gait makes the blade shift and she wails, stopping for a moment to lean against a tree. He gives her a moment of rest, peering into the dense fog. He makes out a few shapes in the dark and quickly moves to grips her hand, looping her arm around his shoulders. He takes most of her weight as he limps on, away from danger and deeper into the unknown. They stagger through the thick fog, heavy feet one over the other. With every step, Jon sends prayers to the old gods, pleas for sanctuary in this vast wilderness the white walkers have corralled them into. Through the thick veil of white he sees nothing, the gods granting them no mercy. He does not let that deter him. This is Arya. Brave and loyal, forever someone that he can depend on. Family. He’s not letting her die.

“Just a bit further.” It’s a lie. They both know it.

Staggering over branches, moss, rocks and through the occasional trickle of water he guesses can be called a stream, he tries to ignore his own leg, still bleeding sluggishly with every step they take. He knows he won’t be able to go for much longer. And yet, death is a good motivator. Determination propels him further. He’s sweating with exertion, his sweat freezing in the cold air. A look over at his sister confirms that she is no better, possibly worse. There’s more blood on her hand than before, slipping through the slick blood coating her stomach like she’s got it in her mind she can shove it back inside where it belongs if she tries hard enough. The point of the spear protrudes from her stomach through her leather armor. The blade itself is wicked looking, barbed at the end to keep her from pulling it out. If he would look at her back she would see the hilt of the spear fit snuggly between the folds of her armor, truly a lucky hit to wedge itself so nastily between the metal plate of her chest guard and the leather of her stomach padding. Her lips are tinged slightly blue, blood coloring the corners of her mouth. Her eyes keeps sliding closed. She sways and stumbles over her feet, her arm slips from his shoulders as she tips forward. He scrambles to get a hold of her, hauling her back up to support her. Fear is a cold vice around his heart, colder than the breeze that dries the sweat over his face.

He jostles her unkindly, needing for her to stay awake and alert. She growls, trying to push away, confused and disoriented from loss of blood. He drags her back to him and her eyes fly open, wild and panicked before they land on him, softening in recognition before trailing to the landscape around them. Her hand, bloody, raises to point off to their left apparently seeing something that he cannot through the unmerciful fog. He strains, trying to see what she does. Alas, he does not. A shriek from the fog behind them makes her jump and him throw each of them to the left in the direction Arya seems to want to go.

Two minutes and mud and leaves turn into stones each large slab laid into the dirt to form a path. Jon drags them up each one, his leg howling at him to stop. He doesn’t, pushes them harder as the wide broken stones turn to stairs. He looks up and his heart soars. He takes in the vine covered cobblestone, barred door and skinny windows and knows the house will be perfect protection. He also happens to know it will be deserted, Lord Goodwyn moved to Dorne a month ago.

“I know where we are” he pants to Arya, relieved. She hums at him quietly. “This is Lord Goodwyn’s old place. He’s not going to be happy with us once were done.”

Arya snorts a short laugh before she grimaces. Jon takes it as a good sign, she’s still coherent enough to think he’s funny. He holds her round the waist with one hand the other around her wrist on his shoulder. He carries them up to the door and fumbles with the latch, sighing in relief when the door swings open. He deposits Arya at the kitchen table where she slumps on the stool and doesn’t look like she’s getting up any time soon. He bars the door and hobbles through the grand old house, making sure all windows are shut and latched along with every door.

Collapsing at the table next to Arya, he groans in pain and exhaustion. Arya pats his shoulder weakly and offers him a small smile. “Shitty plan” she offers to him, and he scowls.

“It was a great plan until you got stabbed.”

She hums and nods once, “Fair enough.” She takes a glance around the empty kitchen and then down at the spear head sticking out of her stomach. She prods at the tip of the spear head. “Lucky shot,” she mumbles to no one in particular. She pulls the flagon from her hip and takes a sip before offering it to her brother, “How’s your leg?” Jon looks up, guilty. “Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

Jon grunts at her and snatches the bottle out of her fingers. He stretches his leg out in front of him to inspect it for the first time, taking a swig. He’s surprised to find it’s not water, but mulled wine and he takes another sip before passing it back to her. He inspects the gash through the fabric of his pants. It’s not deep, the bundle of clothing providing protection, but it is long, running vertical from his knee to halfway up his thigh, and continues to bleed as he moves. He shrugs and stands up, favoring his uninjured leg for a moment before sending a grim smile Arya’s way. “See? It’s fine. I’m fine.”

Arya barks a laugh that looks like it hurts before she fixes him with an unimpressed eyebrow. “It needs stitches, doesn’t it?” Jon huffs her off and rummages through the cabinets until he resurfaces with a ball of string and some dish towels. He limps to the furnace where he saw the pruning shears and tosses them on the table in front of Arya. She sighs when she sees them, “Fuck.”

“Fuck is right. We need to get that out of you.”

“Do we?”

“Sorry sis.”

“You don’t sound sorry,” She scowls and shrugs off her satchel, letting it thump on the table.

“Hey careful!”

She looks at the bag for a moment before she remembers, “Oh.”

“Yea, oh. You’re gonna blow us all to hell.”

Arya just grunts, gestures to him to grab the pruning shears, and rips her shirt open more to make way for the shears. She braces herself on the table and situates the shears around the barb.

Arya braces herself.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

Jon snaps the barb off and Arya groans as it jostles the blade in her side.

Jon hands her the towel, ripped in two. He walks behind her and settles a hand on her shoulder.

“Wait. Waitwaitwait.”

She reaches for the wineskin and takes a big swig before nodding at Jon.

“On three.”

“One.”

Jon pulls the blade out and Arya yells loudly. Her scream echoes through the empty house, resonating through the barren rooms. She jams her half of the towel to the puncture wound as Jon presses the other half to the back, throwing the blade on the table.

“ARSE!”

He makes a sound of agreement and wraps the string around her stomach, securing the makeshift bandages to her wounds.

“Your turn.” She pants.

As soon a Jon is bandaged, they collapse back in their chairs, slumped in exhaustion. The finish the mulled wine between the two of them in comfortable silence and Arya offers the last bit to Jon. She looks past his shoulder out the window.

“Fuck.”

Jon turns to peer out the barred window and lowers the flagon in dismay, “Fuck” he agrees, watching the white walkers emerge through the lifting fog. Arya scrambles for the satchel, pulling out the clay jar of wild fyre. Jon grabs the rest of the string and shoves it in the flagon, soaking it in the mulled wine.

“The hell are you doing?”

“If I remember correctly, Lord Goodwyn had a tunnel dug out of the house, the paranoid bastard. We can lure them here and blow them all to kingdom come.”

“Brilliant.”

Jon goes off to find the entrances to the tunnel and ends up victorious in the basement, a small latch at the back revealing a dank, dark tunnel disappearing into the darkness. Unfortunately, its down a flight of stairs and a few steps away, quite a distance from where they’re going to need to set up the wild fyre. He heads back up the stairs to see Arya situating the jar by the door, trailing the wine-soaked string from the jar to the door leading to the basement. They both stand in the doorway to the basement and share a look with each other as they hear the walkers for the first time shuffling past the door. Adrenaline pushes away the pain as their hearts pound in unison. Jon gently lifts the bar from the door and peers out the window, counting about thirty walkers total emerging from the fog. He looks back at Arya and she nods, flint ready at the end of the string. Jon lets out a loud yell, watching through the barred window as each rotten face swivels toward the house and they break out into a run, barreling over the ground on bony limbs, swinging wildly and stumbling into each other. Jon backs up to where Arya is waiting.

“Not yet.”

Jon waits for the white walkers to barrel closer and ram on the door before he backs down the stairs. Arya goes to strike the flint and he holds out a hand, stalling her for a few more seconds. She waits with bated breath and strikes the flint as a white walker kicks down the door and runs inside. She hears shattering windows and the splintering of wood as other whites create into the house, swarming through the rooms and down the stairs. From where Jon is standing, he can see a white walker crawling out of the chimney into the room, trailing an arm behind it. The white thrills when it sees them and darts forward, sent back momentarily as the string catches fire and creeps towards the jar of wild fyre sitting innocently on the floor waiting to ignite. Jon and Arya turn their backs on it and the white walker and barrel down the stairs and through the door into the tunnel, followed closely by the white. They scramble though the tunnel, the now multiple whites hot on their heels.

“We’ve got ten seconds at the most.” Jon pants to Arya. She nods to him, her face looking oddly green until she looks behind her and turns white as she sees the white walkers so close. She picks up her pace and throws herself against the exit to the tunnel, stumbling out into the sun with Jon hot on her heels. A white follows them out but Jon draws his sword and sends it skittering back into the tunnel. A green light glow at the end of the tunnel, rushing towards them with fiery speed sending heat into their faces. They shut the door on it and throw themselves away and to the ground as the door blows of its hinges and wild fyre erupts from the hole in the ground. It recedes as a way away, through the trees, they see wild fyre erupts from the treetops into the sky. They can feel the heat from where they lay and they both slump to the ground exhausted and adrenaline fading. Arya laughs weakly in relief and so does Jon. He looks around and sees a road he recognizes. He makes no effort to get up, though, just lays back and stares at the sun as it peeks through the fog.

“Let’s go home.” He pants to the sky.

“Yeah.”

“Just… in-,” Jon pauses to catch his breath, “in a bit.”

“Yeah.”

[jayne-hecate-writer]

Ducati and Lego...

Things are getting weird with Lego of late, from bad decisions regarding the sources of Technic models, to crunchy gear boxes and then this, the Ducati Panigale V4 R…

From the get go, I was really excited by the prospect of the Technic Ducati. The box looked great, with the model on the front looking really exciting, thanks to the clever and beautiful photography. I had to have one and I argued with myself for several days about spending a significant amount of my severely limited resources on what is in effect a silly, children’s toy. When it came to ordering, we were in the middle of Covid lockdown, Lego were sold out and Amazon was stating that toy orders would take six to eight weeks to deliver, it was not looking good. However, through on line shopping and a little bit of time on google, I found me a toy shop in Northern England that had one in stock and for a good price too.

Now let me tell you a little story, several years ago I was working part time for a national bicycle franchise here in the UK, it was the busy pre-Christmas, super busy sales time and I was on my own in the bike department. I sold a kids bike and the new owner wanted to take it away in a box. I went out the back to the storeroom and tried to retrieve the bike box from a pile stacked up on a shelf, which collapsed on me, crushing a nerve in my neck and right arm. The pain did not not start right away, instead it built up in intensity until I was struggling to take deep breaths had to ask my boss to take me to hospital. I was X-Rayed, poked, prodded and suddenly strapped down hard to a table when a Doctor found shadow across one of my vertebrate that indicated that I had broken my neck! Luckily, it was not broken and I have no idea what that little dark line on the X-Ray image of my tiny bone was. The damage was done though and the nerve that runs from my neck, down my arm and through my elbow was permanently damaged. I was given a lot of medical treatment, went through an awful lot of pain and I was off work for three months because of the injury and grew extremely bored and depressed. The relief to my suffering came in a surprising fashion, when my partner picked up for me, a Lego Technic motorbike to build.

That little Lego motorbike was a revelation, it looked great, it worked brilliantly and it came with instructions to build a second model from the same kit. The kit came with stickers and the whole thing was a bright orange colour that resembled a KTM motocross bike. Days later, e-Bay brought me a bright green one that despite not being as good, was still fabulous and my addiction to Lego, a hobby I started as a child and had put aside as an adult, came back and bit me hard. For me, Lego Technic motorbikes will always be a little bit special because when I cannot ride my own, I can at least build one out of Lego which I enjoy rather than wasting a couple of hours watching brain dead TV or feeling worthless and bored.

Which brings me right up to date. My injured arm and hand never fully recovered, despite hours of physio and exercise. Other injuries came and I was soon left disabled and with a rapidly growing Lego Technic collection. These days, I am an AFOL spend my time building MOC ( Adult Fan of Lego and My Own Creation for non Lego people) machines of varying kinds, although I really enjoy big heavy trucks for some reason. I rarely buy a Technic kit these days, preferring to buy the parts I want in order to construct a particular model. So for me to buy a whole set, means that it is special.

The box of the Ducati does an awesome job of selling the model, it has a photo of the real bike on the back and they go to great lengths to take photos of the Lego model from all of its very best angles. They have also made some new parts specifically for this set and they are pretty good. The new USD suspension forks look amazing and they actually work. The disk rotors look cool. The new wide rear tyres is awesome and looks the part and it is not hard to imagine this machine riding around a race track, but we will come to that later.

However, on closer inspection, there are some gaping holes in the Ducati that in my opinion leave it looking unfinished. The front forks really are great, but with out a front hugger or even brake calipers it just looks wrong, like there is a big chunk missing from the front of the model. Then we come to the windscreen, which is a soft piece of fogged up plastic film that fits so badly, it is a wonder it was ever signed off by the Ducati engineers! The V-4 engine and working gear box do nothing simply because you cannot see them, rendering the visual impact of the moving engine parts pointless. The final drive for the fake motor from the rear wheel is by a little white elastic band which to my view is a bit disappointing. Then came my biggest bugbear of all. The sheer number of stickers the builder needs to attach. I will make no secret of the fact that I thoroughly hate stickers on Lego parts for the following reasons. Firstly, they can be an absolute bastard to fit accurately. Secondly, they tend to peel off over time or lift a corner and get furry with dust which makes them look even worse. Finally, heavily stickered up pieces prevent you from using the pieces in other MOC constructions. At least with printed pieces, the final model actually looks great for display, even if you cannot use the printed parts elsewhere. Stickers are just a massive pain in the arse and some of the stickers on this set are tiny, so I refused to fit them, meaning that the final model looks a bit flat and dull. Yes, this is my fault for not using the stickers, but we get onto a circular argument here.

With the model finished and sat on my desk, I was, I have to admit, feeling a little disappointed. Then it fell over. Unlike other Technic bikes that have gone before, this bike has no side stand. Instead it comes with a paddock stand, which does not fit well or work properly. The finished model is so unstable that it has to be balanced just right to stop it falling over, meaning that it is also not a good model for display for both the practical and aesthetic reasons. The handle bars are designed to look like real clip on bars, they are very prettily done and there is even a brake fluid reservoir for the front brake… But no brake lever. Similarly, the rear fluid reservoir is present, but again, no brake pedal. Yes, I know that these are small points to make, but when the designer has gone to the effort to add tiny details, why omit the actual main bits that require the small details?

Sadly, this model is deeply flawed and the front screen is the final insult. This scrap of plastic film is held in place by two bright red Ninjago swords, leaving a five millimetre gap on either side. No matter what I tried, I could not get it to sit nicely and the foggy plastic looked awful anyway. The under engine exhaust gets a similar lacklustre treatment and the huge double bend pipe work looks out of scale. The real shame here is that the actual front fairing of this model is a thing of beauty that looks suitably menacing. But with the lack of front guard below and the pathetic screen above, it ends up looking like a nasty custom from a bad biker build off show. There was so much potential for this model to be amazing and Lego seemed to cut too many corners with the final result. For example, the front disk rotors are beautifully designed, but why are they moulded in standard light stone grey? They should have been done in a beautiful pearl silver. The bad screen is simply unforgivable, but there is a fix to this and it involves a clear plastic bottle, a pair of scissors and fifteen minutes to get it to sit just right! The useless paddock stand is annoying and having built my own in the past for custom models, I know how much easier they are to make.

What about the bikes that came before this one? To be honest, the not quite a Triumph Street Triple is still my favourite. It is so clearly a model of the Triumph modern classic, one has to ask why it did not have an official endorsement, especially given that it was and remains one of the most beautiful motorbikes in the Technic range. It also comes with some printed pieces too, making the final model even more beautiful.

The big BMW GS1200 is an ugly brute of a bike in reality, but the Lego model of it is fabulous with the unique telelever suspension and huge pannier boxes... even if the flat twin engine is a bit lame looking with a huge gap between cylinder and head.

The truth is that no Technic motorbike will ever be perfect, although the Street triple does come very close. Compared to these, the Ducati feels like a rushed and unfinished model, which is a real shame given (and I say this a dedicated Suzuki owner) the absolute beauty of the real thing.

So, what can I do next with this bloody thing, it’s not like I can chuck a motor on it and set it off across the car park like I can do with the Corvette they released this year, is it? Wellllllll…. It would be rude not to try and this has been for a while now, an on going project for me to build an actual working Lego Motorbike, running on Technic Power functions kit. To date and prior to this new Ducati, I have had a single working prototype model that was able to ride and steer just like a real motorcycle. A moving weighted brick causes the bike to lean over, which steers the bike. As the weight moves back, the bike stands up again and continues in a straight line. It is not yet perfect and I have lost it under a couple of cars as I experiment. I tried to modify the Ducati chassis to accept this steering and drive set up of a pair of motors and a battery pack and the result was more ugly than me with a post migraine hangover, having woken up with my head covered in drool!

Sadly, the chain drive could not deliver the power needed to spin the wheel fast enough with enough torque to propel the bike, so I had to resort to a shaft drive on both sides of the wheel replacing the swing arm. By the time I was finished, the final bike looked like a cheap Fake Lego rip off and when I tested it on the smooth tarmac of the car park, it fell over after moving less than a foot!

So that is it for me. I give up. I have tried time and time again and I simply cannot make a working model Ducati motorcycle using Power Functions. If you look on You Tube, others have made working models  and I have no idea how they have done it. One person has used a Buwhizz unit, which over volts the motors giving the bike a real blast of speed. But for those of you with a Physics mind, the way a bike works is super intricate and has nothing at all to do with centrifugal force (yes, I am aware that this is a misnomer, but it has been used for decades to explain a complicated process). Do go and look up how motorbikes steer and balance because the in-depth science of it is fascinating. No really, it is fantastic and for years I have thought so wrongly about how it all works. In the mean time, if any of you out there can figure out how to make a Power Functions controlled motorbike, I shall take my hat off to you. You are clearly a better builder than I.

[pantsusnifferr]

2019, healed up and ready to work towards a better 2020

As per the tradition I started last year, (haha can barely be called a tradition with it only being a year old.) am gonna be writing down my thoughts and reflections about the previous year, before penning down my thoughts and goals for the year looking forward.

Even though I had a lot of goals last year (maybe some more optimistic than others) some which I ultimately didn’t accomplish, I still managed to hit some those goals and accomplish a lot more!

These are the goals I had last year:

1. BE SERIOUS WITH ART

2. BE HEALTHIER (SUCCESS)

3. MAINTAIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH FRIENDS (SUCCESS AND MORE!)

4. LEARN HOW TO DRIVE (LOL)

5. LEARN NIP SPEAK

6. LEARN HOW TO PLAY THE BASS

7. RESTART YOUTUBE/TWITCH

8. TAKE STEPS TO IMPROVE BUSINESS (Succ)

Maybe I’m casting my net too wide, maybe I wasn’t exactly serious about those goals in the first place...who knows?

But the fact that I came into 2019 as an unhealthy, Lonely wreck with a crazily unstable business, and emerged from it with double the sales of last year, drastically improved health (still fat though haha) and people whom i care about (and i hope they care about me too), is a really comfy feeling altogether.

2019 is really a roller coaster with its fair share of ups and downs but I’d like to think that the past year alone has presented me with a lot of opportunities that i have thankfully taken. (As opposed to the me a couple of years before who’d stupidly let these opportunities pass as i would be too lazy or couldn’t be arsed.) Watching a friend of mine do the things she wanted without fear of the unknown just made me want to try more and live more!

Health ♥

I started the year badly when my endocrinologist told me that i might develop diabetes over the next couple of years if i didn’t take care of my health properly. I was already a doomer about my health at that point, thinking that everything would be too hard to do and it was probably too late for me to do anything about it....in hindsight perhaps it was because i probably needed that kick in the balls to get my arse off to do something about it.

It was only until a couple of months down the road i had a skin cancer + kidney failure health scare that got me wanting to better my health. Now THAT was the perfect kick in the nuts i needed. At the moment, health issues wasn’t the only thing that was coursing through my mind. I WANTED TO LIVE.

Perhaps it was the realisation that i haven’t really lived at all, perhaps it was the realisation that my life was in a mess and i wasn’t satisfied. Maybe its the realisation that i lack control in my life all these times.

I don’t really know to be honest, all i know is it made me want to try. To try to live more to try to be healthier...afterall there’s nothing wrong with trying right?

So i started with my diet, and i found out that counting calories and eating healthy food actually isn’t that bad at all! In fact a lot of my favourite meals are actually pretty healthy! Just gotta cut out the garbage...

And Running! Oh my god...it isn’t like how PE classes were like back in Primary or secondary school! Couch to 5k is really fun to do and I’m so Glad my friends whom offered to teach me how to gym back then are open to the idea of me joining them again. Also went hiking with other friends and hit the gym together with them too!

All in all I’ve lost about 17kg in total and I’m on the track to lose even more in this coming year. Also i ended the year with my lab reports where my blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol and kidneys is healthy and fine!!

School 🏫

So 2019 is also the year which I’ve started school for the first time in 4 years...(haha 8 years if you don’t count NYP and their ‘school’ stuff. I felt surprisingly at ease during my lessons and studying for the exams, (granted i missed a couple of assignments if not i would’ve gotten an A for my marketing module grrr)

Still, i should study a little harder and not rely on the power of last min cramming aaa..

That being said, things will be looking forward as Long as i could keep my grades up!

3.6 GPA though, 73% reee

ART 🎨

Haha i drew Peni Parker this year...Didn’t sell any though, but it still remains one of my proudest pieces as of yet. Also i did a reprint of the Sayori keychain and I sold out for another year! Yay!

I’m Glad i got to meet new friends and some other anons who’re in the pursuit of doing art. A little disappointed that i didn’t go further into it last year but here’s to a better art year in 2020 yeah?

FRIENDS AND RELATIONSHIPS 🐝

Managed to be a better person overall and fixed my personal insecurities, made new friends and found closer friends with those who’re important to me. I tried to be more outgoing and open minded with the people i meet and to the people around me. Hanging out with friends, trying new things and working with each other to grow as people is something I’d want to do even more in the coming year.

I am so Glad i found people who’re as like minded as me. Online and offline, in the beginning of this year, a friend from Finland came over to visit Singapore and i hung out with her together with new and old friends. Made me feel like a normie for the first time in my life. 10/10 will do again.

Although its a shame that i wasn’t able to do the same for my extended family, mainly my cousins and childhood friends. I Guess over the years we’ve just become different people with different lives. I even managed to miss one of their 21st birthday parties oof...

I’m going to double my efforts to try and reconnect with them again! They’re important to me and i should treat them as such!

COMPANY 📈

Nothing much to say here, even though business in the individual months were pretty garbage, we’ve still managed to emerge from the year with 100k more in sales than the previous year! Bringing that total to almost $250k in sales!

Still not a huge fan of plants and stuff tbh, but i really cannot deny that this business provides me with financial stability (at least for the time being) that allows me to pursue my other interests and hobbies.

Also by some miracle we’ve managed to keep a 5.0 rating for the entire year lmao. Also did our first corporate and wedding gifts!

OTHER HIGHLIGHTS OF THE YEAR

Got a Nintendo switch!

Found more gaming and weeb friends!

Made contact with old classmates and friends!

Got a new camera!

So what’s next for 2020?

I want to have less regrets! Become a nicer and kinder person, yet be firm in my principals. LIVE MORE! EXPERIENCE MORE! DON’T BE AFRAID, DON’T BE LAZY

HARD WORK AND GUTS!

Rekindle ties with those whom i deem important to me.

Start my YouTube channel as a Vtuber and myself

Start YouTube channel for company

Join the weeb club to find more gamer weeb friends!

Study hard!

Learn weebspeak maybe?

Continue to work hard for health and company!

Learn 2 songs on either the bass on ukulele

Draw at least ONCE A MONTH (shouldn’t be too hard do it lazyass!)

Be more confident and social!

Here’s to an awesome 2020!

[sparda3g]

Gintama Chapter 701 Review

The rumor is true. This is the final chapter of Gintama. In Jump Giga. That’s right. It’s not over yet. Honestly, this is fine from a viewer’s point of view. It’s best to please the fans with the best conclusive ending you can come up with. For a Gorilla who don’t know how to end it, based on that chapter, he sure knows how to deliver a wonderful chapter before the finale arrives.

The last chapter was astounding with plenty of great moments, including the long waited reunion of Yorozuya. It’s been nearly a year since we last seen them together again and I do mean under acknowledgement; no more hiding or confusion. Now, it’s the perfect time. With that said as expected, it’s a wonderful reunion that fits perfectly with the series’ nature. Only this series could get away with its shifting tone with pleasantry remain.

The chapter begins with a short recap of the last chapter’s last scene, only with a different angle shot. Kagura loses Sadaharu’s shell as it falls down along with Gintoki. It’s like they’re about to lose two members of the family in one moment, so they jump together to save them. Thus, it begins a splendid build-up for the complete reunion. It builds with the help of many flashbacks where Kagura has traveled. All of which couldn’t help her to save Sadaharu, but all left with an advice.

If you recall the last chapter, whereas one guy told her that Sadaharu isn’t dead nor alive, this is the continuation of some sort. All of them told her that perhaps there’s a trigger to his awakening; something that he has been waiting for. Her last stop was with Inugami Priestesses. The last advice is the solution may be closer than they think. It’s not something from outside, rather something that bond them together. Something that is inseparable. The moment of Sadaharu’s awakening got me all cheery.

The shell begins to break and it’s such a gasping moment. The dialogue about a family waiting to return gets to me, let alone the sequence. At long last, Sadaharu has awakened. If this was in the theater, this would have a roaring applause; I believe it because I was cheering. It’s such a great moment. Family is key and that is what they all have been waiting for. Otae is touched by the scene, knowing Sadaharu awake for Gintoki.

Or so she thought…

In Gintama’s fashion, there’s a hilarious twist and it begins with Sadaharu biting Gintoki; like the good old days. Talk about timing because one fan questioned about the biting and how he/she missed it. Your wish has come true. Not only he bites him but he is devouring him. What just happened? What’s even funnier is how Kagura is so happy for Sadaharu, but dismiss the fact Gintoki is eaten. So priority I guess? There goes the original intention for the reunion.

It gets bizarre when two old men come out from Sadaharu’s arse. That really happened. They just casually begin playing Shogi while Gintoki remains in Sadaharu’s mouth. What is happening? Finally, he barfs out Gintoki, all in filth. At least it resume the good feel nature after whatever just happened. Rightfully so, because we get a heartwarming moment with Kagura and Shinpachi confessing their true wish.

They split apart because they have something they wanted to do. Yorozuya was designed for those who have nothing else to do and just take jobs from outsiders. Despite the purpose, Kagura and Shinpachi are deeply fond of it because they feel like a family. They are a family. It’s because of what Gintoki said made them feel like they too should move on. Reality is they found what they enjoy and want to remain as Yorozuya. Gintoki feels the similar way. His two young members have grown up. The hands grapping panel is touching, no pun intended. Laugh it out that maybe it’s Gintoki that has shrunk.

Actually, that’s exactly the case.

Hilarious how the comedy returns with that sort of unexpected twist. I was feeling so sentimental and then, Sorachi threw me off with Mini-Gin. However, what tops it is the apparent new random plot point for Gin. Those two old men are actually part of him; he’s three in one. We never saw this plot twist coming, but it was hinted all this time. Where? His name, Gin-san. It’s not a suffix, it’s a number. What?! I cannot believe we have a new development behind his character. I thought Black Clover recent chapter was a shocker, but this takes it! What’s next? He has Six Bokuto abilities to master?

As hilariously charming the reunion has been, it does end on a fantastic note. The enemy crew makes their way to attack Yorozuya, while all three Gin (I suppose) are devoured by Sadaharu. Kagura’s logic is to assemble Gin’s parts to bring him back, and that includes his attire. That’s a clever way to make him return in his old form. Sadaharu shoots out Gintoki from his arse and holy crap, no pun intended for God’s sake, that’s seriously awesome. Yorozuya is officially back. You got to love that callback line from chapter 1. This feels like the final chapter. It has the ingredients, but we are not going to end until complete satisfaction.

It has a delighting tie-in reunion with the rest of the cast. It’s pretty neat to see Katsura and Kondo working together. Amazing how one was a Prime Minister and the other was a groom to a Gorilla. What a story to tell. Despite their positions, everyone is back together again. What a wonderful cast of characters. Speaking of characters, we were missing a few notable ones and what timing, because those guys go through a wall with Prince Hata’s car. Madao makes his heroic return in his heroic design. But he is done.

He arrives to help out Yorozuya to reach to the top after they fell a couple of floors down. He thought about how much of a development he had from being a homeless to a famous hero. Never mind that anymore, because he is simply Madao; end of story. He proves to be a great supporting character that doesn’t need to be incredible in offense. His inspiring speech is enough to show how well he can contribute to others. Nothing has changed, but perhaps there are some for the better, hint Prince Hata. It’s a nice development cycle.

The next couple of pages can be used for a presentation on why Gintama is a gem for the fans. Not only you have tons of characters kicking asses, but you also have the comradery, the wackiness, and a sight that display a swell family. In short, it’s the idiotic sight that makes the series as a whole. For these characters, it’s what they wanted to see again. I’m really going to miss this series.

There’s a short scene with Takasugi slowly walking forward and Otae sees him. He throws Gintoki’s Bokuto right by her as to say, “Give it back to him. I have to finish one last job.” I realized earlier, Gintoki was using a lance or something, not Bokuto. That’s nice of Takasugi to return it back. The question remains though: what is his fate? It’s still worrisome. To add more worries, it’s time for the return of Utsuro.

There’s actually a lot to worry about. First, Takasugi’s condition suggest his time is very near. Second, there’s an impending doom for Edo as Altana is going out of control. If it explodes, well, dark ending here we come. Lastly, Utsuro is returning. The chilling tension build-up for the awakening got to me. It’s like witnessing the devil coming to life as the world is ending. Tendoshu is preaching to his lord, hoping that he has fulfilled his destiny. Utsuro’s body has grown up as well, which means the possibility of a fight is high. Finally, he has returned. His credibility as a villain is strong, so this gave me chills.

Katsura and Hitsugi have a fight and it’s really good. It’s short but sweet with a literal heart on the line. I like how one move could decide the victor, which is why it’s gripping to see them dodging and blocking. It’s settled with a blast. Katsura hangs on the edge, while Hitsugi has the advantage, even with a sword thrusted through his gut. The heart falls off of Katsura’s pocket and Hitsugi aims to kill Katsura with the spear. Thank God for Hijikata and Sougo to stop him. Or so they thought.

Throughout the combat, Katsura wanted to stop him from retrieving the heart, believing he wanted to revive Utsuro. The twist is Hitsugi wants to destroy the heart and so, the staff aimed for the heart, not Katsura. That’s actually neat. I like how they both shared the same idea, albeit if Katsura has changed his mind after his last discussion. The fact is both of them were fighting under a similar solution. Not to mention, the last time Hitsugi was around, Takasugi was involved, who didn’t want to destroy it. This adds up really nicely.

Utsuro is now revived and he’s there to reclaim his final boss position. Tendoshu is the victim of a believer that only asked for trouble and rightfully so. He preaches on if he has fulfilled his wish, but Utsuro let him know that he only has one: to erase himself. He knocks his head off and before you would think he will come back, the Altana blast his body off, essentially killing him. Of course, we can’t have a naked final villain, so fortunately for him, he grabs a cape to hide it. Still look badass till this day.

The cliffhanger ends with Takasugi confronting him. It’s time to find out if this is the chance to save Sensei. One thing that is left unanswered is whether this Utsuro is Shouyo or not. There’s a good chance that it is him, seeing how he isn’t as sadist as before, but it left us wondering on purpose for the next chapter. It’s an interesting contrast between Takasugi and Katsura. One confronting to save Sensei, and the other that’s about ending it. With Yorozuya on their way, it’s a really good cliffhanger.

So the series won’t end for another couple of chapters. Make no mistake, the end is really close. That said why rush it. This chapter certified why the series keeps on giving with these wonderful moments to remember. If it’s going to end, it should end with a bang. With a wonderful reunion, plenty of twists, and a cliffhanger that keeps us hanging, it’s hard to be upset at the amount of not ending. Plus, it has done wonders for Sorachi when transiting to monthly basis with solid artwork and great delivery. The end is very near; let’s cater it as much as we can.

[onwesterlywinds]

Ashelia Riot: I'm confident that the Riskbreakers have the assets and the skills to lend to Ala Mhigo’s reconstruction efforts. And until we hear more from the Empire, it may benefit us to keep as close an eye as possible on the region. To ensure they don't attempt to reclaim it. Edge Marbrand: Can we afford to split our attention between here and Doma? Ashelia Riot: ...If we cannot, then it should come as no surprise where my loyalties lie. My birth aside, however, it would make more sense to keep a closer watch on the region in closer proximity to Ilsabard. Crimson Bull taps his arm with his finger, deep in thought.

Edge Marbrand: I agree. As much as I love Doma, I don't know if we can help both of them and keep our home safe. I suppose the Far East isn't our responsibility. We're no government. Crimson Bull: ...I think our major focus should be on trainin' a militia. Edge Marbrand: Why do you say that? Crimson Bull: People here have to learn to be self-sufficient. We can't always be there to bail 'em out. Edge Marbrand seems lost in thought. Edge Marbrand: I don't know... the closest thing Ala Mhigo already has to a standing army is the Resistance. If we step in and start a militia, that might make the Alliance forces even more nervous about us. Ashelia Riot looks into her cup of tea, suddenly very stiff. Crimson Bull: Would you rather not be prepared for a counterattack and lose everything we've worked SO hard for? We ain't invincible. Edge Marbrand: We're not, but we should focus on reconstruction and leave some work to the Alliance and Ala Mhigo's fledgling government. Ashelia Riot: Bull's right, of course. A militia will be a necessity, even after Ala Mhigo's new government is established. Other protections have always been required... and always will be. Crimson Bull: A militia can easily become a standin' army, if the government wants it. Ashelia Riot: And in the worst-case scenario, a militia can keep that government in check. Edge Marbrand: And you think it wise for us to form Ala Mhigo's standing army? As I said, the Alliance is already nervous about us... Ashelia Riot: True. Crimson Bull: Don't need another crazy monarch ruinin' everythin' for these people... Edge Marbrand: I dunno... I don't like this. I'm afraid people will start to think we're making a grab for too much power. Crimson Bull scoffs. Crimson Bull: Maybe the Alliance should help with the rebuildin'. Might make 'em good for somethin'. Ashelia Riot also scoffs. Ashelia Riot: If only. Edge Marbrand: I think we should try for a spot in the provisional government they're setting up, if anything. Ashelia Riot: That was one idea I had, Edge. But even then... Edge Marbrand: It's a more peaceful role we could take, and one that could give us a voice in Ala Mhigo's future. A Riskbreaker representative. Ashelia Riot: A different sort of power, to be sure. Crimson Bull: And you think a militia's a power grab? That's even worse, if you ask me... Ashelia Riot: Each has its benefits. And potential problems. Edge Marbrand: If I'm not mistaken, they're setting it up like Ishgard's new House of Lords and House of Commons. Multiple voices leading the city, like a council. Ours would just be one voice among many. Crimson Bull rubs his head. Crimson Bull: I'm not cut out for this diplomacy stuff, I'm the hands-on type. I'm leavin' the details to you. Crimson Bull nods to Ashelia Riot. Edge Marbrand smiles. Edge Marbrand: I'm not a fan of politics myself, believe it or not. Ashelia Riot has fallen silent again, deep in thought. Ashelia Riot: ...There's another matter I'd like to handle. Separately from my duties as Grand Steward. Ashelia Riot has been meaning to discuss it with her husband, but hasn't found the time. Ashelia Riot: I'm talking about the Undercity. Edge Marbrand: What's that about the Undercity, love? Ashelia Riot takes a deep breath. Ashelia Riot: I wonder if the Undercity could prove a solution to both of our needs. Protection, and diplomacy. Ashelia Riot turns to Crimson Bull, remembering that he isn't privy to the information she is. Ashelia Riot: But I should explain. The Undercity is... what it sounds like. An entire district beneath Ala Mhigo, where everything from cutthroats to ghosts have tended to gather. Ashelia Riot: Not so long ago, it was a key part of what kept Ala Mhigo standing. But most don't know it even exists. Edge Marbrand: What're you suggesting? Ashelia Riot pauses, not sure how best to continue. Ashelia Riot: If we could establish even a meager force in the Undercity, it would greatly bolster the capital's protections. And it could empower the people living there to become represented in the new government. Edge Marbrand stands, lost in thought, and begins pacing. Edge Marbrand: That's not a bad idea! It's like combining what Bull and I just spoke about. I think something like that could work! Ashelia Riot says this next part in a bit of a rush. Ashelia Riot: Of course, my father doesn't agree. Edge Marbrand: What did your father say? Ashelia Riot: That it was going to get good people killed. Edge Marbrand: Huh? Ashelia Riot: That it wasn't the way things were done in the Undercity. That I had no business going in there and making changes. Edge Marbrand: Your old man basically controls what happens down there! Can't he do something? Ashelia Riot shrugs at Edge Marbrand. Ashelia Riot: I asked him the same thing. He said only that that was twenty years ago. Crimson Bull: Maybe he doesn't want to do anythin' about it. Ashelia Riot nods to Crimson Bull. Ashelia Riot: I think you're exactly right. Crimson Bull: People ain't gonna change just because you have good intentions an' all... Edge Marbrand: I mean, yeah, it is dangerous the deeper you go down there, but when it comes down to it they're all Ala Mhigans. They should want to help their country as much as the rest of us. Crimson Bull: If it's as Ashelia says: if they don't gain anythin', why should they help? Edge Marbrand: I wonder how much of it changed after the occupation. Ashelia Riot: I'll need a better answer for that, too. The Undercity has always been anarchic at best. It follows its own code and recognizes its own leaders, but... never has it been involved with any sort of formal government. The closest it came to that was when my father was made Riskbreaker. Crimson Bull: They have their way, and if it works for them, why change it? Makes perfect sense to me. Crimson Bull shrugs. Ashelia Riot sighs. Edge Marbrand thinks. Ashelia Riot: ...So many potential options. And none of them seem particularly appealing in the long run. Ashelia Riot: I would never have thought that I would free Ala Mhigo... only to be faced with the responsibilities of a paper-pusher. Edge Marbrand sighs. Edge Marbrand: They never mention this stuff in the stories. Crimson Bull: Startin' to think we've got ourselves in too deep... Ashelia Riot: Perhaps so, but what would the alternative have been? Leave the rebellion to the Resistance? Crimson Bull: Those blowhards? Hells no! Edge Marbrand: Do we have anyone who specializes in diplomacy? We can delegate this to them! Ashelia Riot: I'll get over it. Ashelia Riot smiles weakly. Ashelia Riot: And I'll keep an eye on the Undercity, regardless of what my father has to say on the matter. Crimson Bull nods to you. Edge Marbrand: I wonder... think he could teach me a thing or two about how things work down there? Ashelia Riot: You might have more luck with him than I have. Ashelia Riot shrugs at Edge Marbrand. Edge Marbrand: You think? Ashelia Riot mutters something in low, rapidfire Ala Mhigan containing the words “pain in my arse.” Ashelia Riot: Well. I wanted to keep you updated, at least. Crimson Bull lets out a chuckle. Crimson Bull: Reminds me of my father, thinkin' he's always right. Ashelia Riot: Would you believe my mother's far worse? Edge Marbrand laughs.

[my-words-are-light]

10 Songs Tag

Finally, a tag game I can finally be in despite lacking any WIP to speak of! Thank you, @raiswanson (Also, fantastic taste with Undertale)!

Fortunately, even though this isn’t a writing specific tag game, I will use songs that are connected to my writing and how so.

Rules: Write down 10 songs you’re currently obsessed with, then tag 10 people.

1) The Second One by Machinae Supremacy

Out of so many songs I listen to, The Second One has a dear place in my head. I love its beat and, like so many other Machinae Supremacy songs, I love its lyrics. This is where I think the vocalist truly shines, whereas he’s rather divisive in every other song.

This song fits a certain sort of character. A character who is tormented by the harm they’ve wrought and that they’re capable of. But they’re working through it, thanks to the people that believe in them. People who are actually capable of good, who aren’t inflicted by the same vices they are. But this character wants to be like that as well. Although they’re not “The One”, they can be a hero all the same.

2) Perfect by Ed Sheeran (with Beyonce)

Oh don’t give me that. I’m a sucker for a good romance and, cross my heart and hope to die, Ed Sheeran utterly nails the tear jerking, heartfelt love between two people. Beyonce, albeit a bit questionable at times, is the second one (tee hee, puns) and gives the story of the song its second leading role that compounds the message better than anyone alone could.

To define a good romance is hard for me but Ed Sheeran sings it better than I can say it. That said, I like to believe I’m a better writer than that so I’ll at least say this: everything you’ve heard about love being the most powerful thing in the world is true, for better or worse. It drives you to act, it drives you to care, and it drives you to want. But there’s something important about that last point; it drives you to want not just for your sake, but for the people you love.

3) Silent Melody by Working For A Nuclear Free City

Like inFAMOUS itself, this song makes me feel empowered. The lyrics and instrumentals alike conduct throughout my body. At last, I believe, I feel like I have the entirety of God’s power coursing through my arms. What’s important here isn’t that the song sounds as much or says as much; it’s that it feels as much. The song is, most importantly of all, visceral. 

If you ever want to tell of a story of a godlike being, or someone who believes their power is as such, this song is a perfect fit. Put it on repeat for eight hours and get writing.

4) I’m Born To Run by American Authors

Many thanks to @brynprocrastinates for introducing me to this song. This is basically the musical version of a character running down a hill in a verdant valley and then leaping off a cliff only to fly high above the nearby town. It starts off good and pumping but it’s after the second chorus that it really shines, coming to life with truly electrifying energy that makes me feel unstoppable.

This song is perfect for a traveller on an epic adventure, preferably not a grimdark one. Who truly enjoys the freedom of travel and the wind beneath their wings as they take flight.

On that note...

5) Don’t Worry by Hiroyuki Sawano

Goodness gracious, does this song come late in the game. Not only do you have to get a Skell, which is at least 20 hours into Xenoblade Chronicles X, but then you have to get the bloody flight module, which is about double the way through the game. I’ve had exams that didn’t feel like they lasted that long. But that’s the wonder of it; as they say, a pleasure delayed is a pleasure magnified. And once you’ve fought and struggled and worked to get that flight module and you go on your maiden voyage, this beautiful song plays.

There’s a contrast between this entry and the last; while I’m Born To Run fits well with the commencement of a journey, Don’t Worry has no better place to be than the journey’s zenith, when you peak above the clouds and see the heavens and be among them, and it is beautiful.

6) Further by LifeForce

DAMN THIS FIVE VIDEO LIMIT!

Oh whatever. I discovered this song at the end credits of the freeware game Iji and I fell in love for morbidly depressing reasons. What a perfect yet awful time for the song to play. Make no mistake; it’s not bleak, since you’re definitely making progress, but it’s to a deep darkness. Worse yet, you want to go there. There is something there that will save you by dooming the both of you.

It’s a very nihilistic song but with a sense of progress. Never did I think I’d hear something like that.

7) With Me by All Ends

Of course it’s a Sonic song. The series has a bad reputation for its gameplay and a stellar reputation for its soundtracks. With Me from Sonic and the Black Knight is no exception; this absolutely atrocious game has one of the best final boss themes for the series. The vocals are from the viewpoint of the villain, who has their reasons for doing the things they do but it’s clear they cannot be allowed to continue.

We say villains are more than monsters. Villains are heroes of their own stories, with their own reasons and motivations. This is a gracious mercy we offer them but With Me makes it perfectly clear: they do not offer such mercy to heroes in kind. They will fight, they will fight hard, and heroes must answer them.

8) Jet Set Run by Yuki Hayashi

There are very few things I can say about this track that other people haven’t, and better at that, but this truly is a fantastic song for fist-pumping heroic moments. Seriously, there are analyses of this song. Look for them.

9) Welcome to the Show by Britt Nicole

No, this song has absolutely nothing to do with that My Little Pony song by the same name. However, I LOVE this song. It is as energetic as all get out and it’s like a theatre and a rock concert inside a giant hamster ball rolling down the Mountain of Doom towards the Fortress of Doom. 

Whenever I think about a light-hearted adventure story featuring a cast predominantly full of girls, I think of this song. I think of that cast kicking arse without angsting and without worrying about their bad guys who are unambiguously evil but lightly so like Lord Hater. Just them, bad guys, and a whole lot of fun. I love this song.

10) Kryptonite (AOL Session) by 3 Doors Down

Yes, this version takes the final slot instead of the normal radio version. This song, this version, is my most favourite song of all time. This version specifically captures the desperation, the loneliness, and the sheer powerlessness one feels as they try to do the right thing. But it’s something worth doing even while it’s destroying you.

This song inspires my visions of heroism. Both Renna Gonn and Destiny Pride take cues from this, albeit in very different ways. 

Tagging: @cog-writes, @yurax-mae, @kaleidic-art, @ononokinonon, @limbonix, @derpyslurpy-da-derp-master, @destiny-smasher, @sakura-rose12, @greenhousewriting, and @byjillianmaria.

[magitek-powered-calligraphy]

A Walk in Kugane

A backstory for Priscilla bas Scaevola in three parts ( 1/3 )

Sunset approached the streets of Kugane. The paper lanterns that adorned the streets gently feathered over the natural light with their yellow and orange hue. Priscilla strolled down the Kogane Dori Markets with confidence, her wide smile greeting  every local and merchant. She dressed in a fine set of gold embroidered red silks crafted to match and blend the Far Eastern scenery and fashion. She had tied her long auburn hair neatly in a high bun and kept a matching headband attached to her wrist instead of hiding her obvious Garlean heritage.

Priscilla had planned to find the up-and-coming seamstress who had crafted her new outfit. She wanted to commission more of her outstanding work, but it was more of a guise to enjoy a tea house or a nice restaurant. The night life was always more enjoyable with company.

Just perfect! After a few questions around the markets, she felt her hopes rise. The merchants and visitors were a pleasant bunch; the locals were already familiar with her. They told her the seamstress had stopped by to procure some fabrics. The tourists and visitors were harder to approach. Some just avoided her gaze in the hopes of not being bothered, while others carried angry or stern faces, probably hailing from a nation warring with hers. The angry ones never acted confrontational with her, proving Kugane a relatively safe place for those not looking for trouble with groups like the Sekiseigumi to keep the order and the Garlean embassy right around the corner to give her a peace of mind.

Priscilla’s hopes and plans for the night began to sink as she noticed a Garlean officer walking straight in her direction.

“Miss Scaevola, I was asked to escort you.” His voice carried a slight echo within his intricate helm.

Now? But I haven’t reached my cute new seamstress yet! “You know...” Her lips curled a slight smile as she examined his form-fitting outfit, almost certain of the man behind the mask. “I always appreciate the fashion the troops carry in the Far East.” She raised an eyebrow.

“Sc-caevola!” the man stuttered. “I was asked to escort you.”

“Please, Serbius, must you wear that helmet every time? I’d prefer to stare into your blue eyes instead… formalities I guess.” She grinned and stepped to the side with an over-the-top bow, gesturing for him to lead the way. “Is it Eustace again? I am sure it could wait until tomorrow. We could go get some tea instead? Maybe appreciate some of the night life?” Maybe my room later?

“Pris, please-!” the officer pleaded and cleared his throat. Her smile widened behind his back. “Miss Scaevola, let me just do my job. Master Farcia was the one that summoned you. He was quite sour. So-“

“So no jokes, got it. Not like he has a sense of humor anyway.” Priscilla rolled her eyes. “It should be fine, I am his new money-making machine. Oh!” She raised a finger as a thought occurred to her. “The Prima Vista will be in town soon! We should see it! Fine Garlean theater, right here in Kugane. We should gather your whole crew for it!” Her voice was clear with newfound excitement.

“Are they now.” A breathy chuckle finally escaped his helmet. “Yes, maybe we should gather up the crew for that. Most have not been back home in quite a while.”

Instead of  the usual restaurant where Priscilla met with her manager, Eustace cen Farcia, she was escorted to the Garlean embassy building in Kugane. Serbius exchanged salutes and orders with the guards at the gates before they were swiftly welcomed inside.

“So, tonight, then?” she teased Serbius as they parted ways.

“Just stay out of trouble, Pris.” He shook his head as he chuckled again, leaving to continue his duties.

Trouble… I know. Priscilla walked into the building, escorted by a pair of officers once inside. Her destination was a makeshift office: a desk table next to a fireplace and half a dozen chairs. The officers asked for any weapons. She handed over her purse which, aside for some pieces of candy and a small bag of coins, contained a well-crafted gun and a ceruleum grenade. They examined it and kept the purse with them as they stood watch over the door.

Minutes later a man hastily entered the room, smacking the door open with his palm and storming to the desk where Priscilla was patiently sitting. He wore a simple dress shirt adorned with a cravat. His glasses were as crooked as his messy blonde hair and the red of his skin showed signs of stress, anger or both. In his hands were a bundle of handwritten papers, which he tried to loudly throw against the desk between them. This man was Priscilla’s manager and agent, Eustace cen Farcia.

“So I take it you didn’t like it?”

“Priscilla!”

No last names? Oh he really is mad! “Well?”

“Well?! Well?!” Eustace grew more agitated. “You do know what your own manuscript is about, right?!”

“A group of adventurers’ struggle against an overwhelming force. Eikon slayers, the final page of a thousand-year-old war in Ishgard. The inspiring tale of their tenacity, come hell or high water.”

“And you have heard the news, right?” he asked, trying to compose himself.

“Assuming you are not talking about the sales chart of The Wildfire, yes. Garlemald lost some of its territories recently.”

“Priscilla, you are missing the part where the merry band of adventurers you like to write so much about killed the crown prince Zenos yae Galvus!”

Her eyes widened in brief surprise. She quickly pondered how to respond appropriately between her want to ask for more information and the excitement of the sheer stunt these adventurers had managed to pull off. “Good riddance-“

“Priscilla bas Scaevola!!” he yelled, drowning her retort.

“He was a genocidal arse. That man was crazy,” she mouthed at Eustace, out of earshot of the guards.

“Please, dear, do not let people hear you speak so. Your father worked too hard for you. I also worked very hard for you.” He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We cannot have you writing about enemies of the Empire. At least not like this. They are rather displeased with your stance. There are things we can do, so let me fix this for you. Here is the deal.” Eustace threw the manuscript into the fireplace. He procured a folded letter sealed with the emperor’s insignia and handed it over to Priscilla. “We will forget about these Riskbreakers. In its place there will be something, maybe a biography, about the late Lord Zenos. Write about his prowess, about his face, it doesn’t matter. Write me something our motherland can mourn about. There will be remembrance service in a few months where we will present this. You will be the star. We will be rich. This might be the chance to change your status. You will make your father very proud. ‘Priscilla cen Scaevola’ - think about it!”

Priscilla stared intently at the fireplace for what could be a decade. Her heart felt heavy in her chest. Good thing I never gave the original away. She still mourned the hard work of the second copy that now was working as kindling. The fire burned brighter against a room that had come to feel a bit more claustrophobic. She knew they would come to invite her to participate. To bend the truth and be another cog to the great Garlean machine. But she hadn’t expected it would be so early. To comply or to resist. I don’t have the backing of the Majestic Imperial Theater Company, or half their talent. Maybe I could go to them, not that would get me the freedom I want. Maybe it could be like an internship…

“And if I refuse?” She broke the silence. One could almost hear the strain out of Eustace’s very soul.

“I believe you would lose all the help you have received so far. I won’t be able to sell this, or anything you write after that. Not that I would try. I have mouths to feed, Priscilla; I can’t keep playing these games.”

“And if I publish it myself?”

“That would be very hard. You would brand yourself a traitor to Garlemald the moment your novel reaches the people. When this little revolution ends and these Riskbreakers fail, you will fall right with them. They will seek to silence you and take your head.” Eustace sat down. “Pris, Priscilla, oh please listen to me. Let us do what is best.”

“But you are asking me to lie. To paint Zenos as a war hero, to paint people who only wanted their home back as savages and vile murderers.”

“Just write like you do for your fiction!”

“But it is not the same! This actually happens! We steal and plunder and take their land. We treat them like cattle and cannon fodder! Then when the people bite back, we don’t get to know what happened? To write off Zenos as a godsdamned saint?! He killed hundreds, and he bloody liked it! There’s actual people at the other side of these wars; these are not dogs biting back at their masters. This is not the glorious Garlemald, you know this Eustace! We have the greatest technologies and the greatest minds in all Hydaelyn! We could be so much better than these warmongering zealots, we-“

“Priscilla!” Eustace stopped her. He saw the flames burning deep within her eyes and he knew her heart was set, but he was not going to let her dig her own grave inside of the embassy. “It seems we are getting a bit carried away... His tone became more clear and punctuated. “We may have had a bit to drink, and our business discussion got a bit heated. Dear Priscilla, we do not need to come to a conclusion today. Have some time to think about your new book, and let’s catch up soon about it. I will let your father know how well you are doing. Let me escort you outside.”

Oh. She quickly remembered her situation as Eustace’s diplomacy carried on. I sure am on the Garlean embassy yelling treason. “Yes Eustace-“ She followed suit and stood. “Let me think about this and let you know as soon as I have something. Should we meet in our usual place?”

The two safely walked outside without raising concern. The real conversation resumed when they managed to get out of the soldiers’ earshot as they walked the premises. Eustace took her hand under his arm.

“Scaevola, you might be the literal death of me. Can I change your mind?”

“You are too valuable to them, old man.”

“Watch it, I am not that old.”

“Are you asking me out?” She teased a smile.

“Priscilla-”

“I know, I know.”

“Can I change your mind? Even if you don’t take part in writing for the remembrance, please bury that story away.”

“Not on this. I cannot do that.” Her tone was serious. “Will you sell me out?”

“Pris, Pris, Pris…” He took a deep saddened breath. “You know I won’t. I will make sure the guards that heard you are well fed. But I won’t be able to fund this. If you do not comply, no one will risk to fund this. When you make your move, I will wash my hands of you. I have a family.”

“I understand. Should I leave Kugane?”

“You should be safe here, at least until the moment you publish it. This city is not under our rules, but do watch your back.” Eustace frowned. “You definitely wouldn’t be welcome in Garlemald. Maybe you can find shelter with the Troupe. But don’t expect much from those heroes you love so.” He pointed at his own third eye. “I do hope they don’t execute you on the spot.”

“Charming.”

“You don’t know what to expect from the savages.”

“They are people.”

“Can I change your mind?” he asked a third time, but she just shook her head.

Together they continued in silence until Priscilla was out of the gates to the embassy. They shared a tight hug upon realizing it was the end of their partnership. She quietly parted and walked away, holding back the swirling emotions within her.

Her plans for the night wildly changed - from finding her new favorite seamstress and ordering some new clothes, to sending her life into an unexpected turmoil of uncertainty and adventure. Tears escaped her eyes as she hurriedly passed Serbius on her way back, his plain worry masked by his imperial helmet. Priscilla’s eyes were stressed and worried but her head soared like a bird to the sky. She entered her apartment and quickly prepared a bath as she contemplated a life aboard the Prima Vista. She dreamed of maybe meeting this band of adventurers that had time and time again shed tears and blood for their own safety and homeland. She dreamed of Garlemald, her glorious Garlemald. Not the power-hungry subjugators, but what was at its core: a home of brilliance and ingenuity. She dreamed of a metropolis of commerce and arts. She dreamed that maybe, just maybe, she could have a hand in making her vision a reality.

[thinkofduty]

; practise

"Tell me again why you think this is a good idea."

Bubbling between them in a cheap iron pot is a bland stew. They've flavoured it with as many herbs as they could find, which means - not many. No stranger are either of them to tasteless fare after full lives as soldiers, which comes as a blessing in disguise. Anyone not used to rations for meals would find a third day of tasteless - and almost entirely deficient of nutrition - gruel taxing.

"For starters," she says, and gestures with the wooden spoon she's been stirring the stew with. She'd carved it en route to the wall from a spare length of timber their driver had allowed them. It's crude, but does what it needs to. "I'm already sick of this." She stirs the pot again, looking less than pleased. "We ought to have taken more than salt with us. Gyr Abania does not exactly lack for the stuff. We should have brought-"

"Alright," Ingvald cuts her off. "I get the message."

"We also," Orella says, completely undeterred by his tone, "Need something to prove we're traders. Furs.  Meats. Anything is better than having nothing. If we can find an apothecarist, the claws would probably fetch a good price."

The look he gives her seems to glance right off her. "You have a kitchen knife and a wooden spoon."

"You would have me do battle with naught but my fists?"

"That is not what I- you are not fighting a bear. With or without your cooking tools."

In the decades he's known Orella, she's been insufferable plenty of times. He has a penchant for forgetting just how she gets when she has her heart set on something; more often than not his opinion sways her not at all. Nor does his irritation.

And Twelve above how she irritates him sometimes.

She's doing it now. He feels the first wave roll in when she glances sidelong at him, when she tells him without words he can take his good intentions and shove them as far up his arse as he can manage.

"No."

"You," she announces, "Are no fun whatsoever."

"Thank Rhalgr for small mercies," he mutters. From the way she goes back to stirring, it seems as though she is pretending not to have heard him. Another of her specialities.

He forgets that being told no has never stopped her.

Come the morn, he awakes alone.

It doesn't register at first. So groggy is he that he thinks first of Ul'dah, and then of Gridania as he opens his eyes to the leaves above.

And then the breeze picks up, and the scent it brings him he remembers from before the Wall. A fresh-flowing river, the natural salt of the land, the moist earth beneath him. It comes back to him like a thump to the head.

Gyr Abania. East End, the border, the Wall -

Home.

but Orella is nowhere to be seen. The fire has long since burned itself out; the empty pot sits on its cold coals, awaiting a wash. Something has bitten him during the night, on his wrist, under his sleeves, and he rubs at it as he sits up to scan the forest.

No sign of her appears. No sight, no sound.

Cursing, he gets to his feet slowly, picking up his rapier as he goes. They'd decided it wouldn't be unusual for a man to carry a weapon, even if he was but a trader. Ala Mhigo's lands have always been and will always be harsh and unforgiving. Her wives and daughters are strong too, but a wife of Orella's age would not put herself at the frontlines of action.

Which is why he worries. He doubts it was the wildlife. Had it been bugs, Orella would have shaken him awake during the night, for something in her blood has always attracted mosquitos. Had it been something larger, it would have gotten him, too.

Not to mention, there'd be more blood.

He takes that as a good sign. There are no signs of struggle anywhere; nothing but the tamped leaves where she had been sleeping. He reaches over to touch the space and finds it cold.

"... Orella?"

Something chirrups from the tree above in answer, something decidedly animal. Other than that single noise, silence reigns supreme in the East End.

"Gods damn you," he mutters to himself, and picks himself up slowly. "If I find that you've gone and wandered off a cliff, or let a sapria take you while you left to piss, I'll..."

He doesn't finish the thought. He doesn't need to. The forest answers for him with a roar that echoes even through the trees.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

The first thing he notices is that she stands almost as tall as the thrice-damned bear.

She does stand a wary distance from the beast, at least, having not gone entirely insane. She has - Rhalgr take her - the kitchen knife held tightly in her left hand, holding it in front of her like she thinks it'll actually protect her should the bear take interest.

And the bear has most certainly taken a vested interest in the thing challenging it. It's sat on its haunches, watching her, nose turned upwards to sniff. Apparently what it smells it does not like, for it roars again, and thumps down onto its forepaws. This close, the thud is almost enough to stagger, so loud is it, and he cannot - will not - let her perish under the weight of her own claw-tipped stupidity.

They haven't even reached the river.

"Are you insane," he hisses, unable to help himself, and she turns at the sound. The bear seizes its chance, lumbering toward them suddenly. It's fast, despite its size, and Orella turns to face it, eyes wide and mouth a perfect o of shock, and the knife can do nothing for her, nothing--

He steps forward and calls aether to his fingertips. The spell is hurried with the force of his panic and it arcs oddly, burning the air itself as it flies towards his foe.

And the spell flies. It leaves his fingers with such speed that it takes him aback. He thinks dimly that it hurts, but that is a problem for later; he reaches forth with his other hand and gestures wildly at Orella to get back. She looks between him and the bear, wide-eyed still, and takes one foolish step forward.

The bear has been stunned senseless and crashed to the ground, one paw still outstretched. He can see in its eyes the pain, the confusion, and finds himself thanking every book he's ever touched for knowing how to pull lightning from aether.

And the feeling of Gyr Abania's aether is unfamiliar after so long in Eorzea. It's rich. Heady.

He could get used to it.

Orella takes another step forward, well within the range of the bear's claws, and seems satisfied that it will not swipe at her; she darts forward now to sink the knife deep into the beast's throat and spill its life upon the forest's floor. Dimly, he registers the cut is clean, practised, but he cannot connect the thought with anything else, too overwhelmed with rage and fear and -

She's talking. It proves difficult to pull his concentration away from his shaking, sore fingers, from the muscle that jumps painfully at his jaw.

"... owe you," she's saying, and she's busy with her own hands, busy with the bear, making sure it is well and truly incapacitated. She isn't looking at him. "Thank you."

It takes a full moment for his heart to leave his throat, something he manages with a deep breath and a hard swallow. "You," he manages. His voice shakes with the effort of not yelling. "What in the Twelve's name do you think you're doing?"

"Well," she starts, and he steps forward. Something of his fury must show on his face, for she closes her mouth immediately.

"I don't give a damn about your excuses. Are you trying to get yourself killed? Do you even understand what's at stake here? All these years of telling me not to do stupid stuff and now suddenly it's fine for you to - to fight a bear," he hisses. He hasn't been so angry in a long, long time. "That has got to be the stupidest way to get killed I've ever seen. And I've worked with people stupider than you."

She says nothing, suitably mollified. The silence stretches so thick between them that not even her knife could cut it; it wraps around them both, suffocating in its intensity.

"Well?"

"I'm sorry," she says in a small voice. She can't look him in the eye. That irritates him more than ought to be reasonable; he is used to her shying from eye contact when her faults come to bear, but this is so much more serious than her annoyance over his mistakes, or any inequalities she perceives within their ranks. "I just thought if we're to play a role... we ought to play it to our fullest."

It is going to be a long, long day. He sighs heavily and rubs at his temples; the stench of the bear's blood irks him, and a familiar pounding at the base of his skull begs for a cup of hot, strong tea.

"Take your damn trophy," he says, and turns his back on her. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and have a heart attack."

He has to talk himself out of leaving her behind.

He's on his second cup of hot dandelion tea when Orella returns, dragging what looks like a sack behind her. He watches from the corner of his eye as she scrapes meat and blood from the squares of fur she's taken from the bear, and does his best not to think about when and where she must have learned to skin animals. She seems to know what she's doing, working quickly and methodically, and before the sun has reached its zenith, she's rolled the squares tightly, lashed them together with some leather thong he'd not noticed her carrying.

"They'd fetch more if we had time to let them cure," she says, and he does not dignify that with an answer. She knows better than to press the subject. Time is the one thing they do not have.

But they will not stain overmuch, and even if they aren't traders, a fistful of gil is never a bad thing. Better yet, they are burdened with meat, rich and tough as it is. Their meals will not lack for flavour now, and after the bland, bitter tea he'd drunk directly from the pot earlier, his stomach craves more than leaves to fill it.

Their journey continues in silence. They share the load, and incredibly, Orella doesn't even complain about the heat - or the bugs - or the way the furs hang strange upon her back - nor even at the way the forest begins to thin and the ground becomes unstable under their very feet. Lush moss and thick roots turn to dust and unsteady rock with every step closer toward the Velodyna.

And when she stumbles, she thumps to her knees without protest, though he can see the way the impact hurts by the way her jaw pulls tight, and he sighs, for he knows there is no use in learning to hate her. Not after all they have been through together.

He bends to offer his hand, and she stares straight past him.

"Holy shit," she breathes.

The Resistance - and the Riskbreakers - have not been idle. Hanging from the aeroport's spire, their claim flutters in the wind. Ala Mhigan purple and Rhalgr's shining star decorate the sky, painfully, wonderfully conspicuous.

The white bunting seems almost blasphemous in its lack. Not for two decades have either of them seen the Star or the road leading them to its resting place, let alone heard mention of Rhalgr's name.

And now it sits boldly against Garlean steel, welcoming them to Ala Mhigo.

Welcoming them home.

"Holy shit," he agrees.

[hello-clarisse-blog1]

Blood, Murder and Paris.

Dublin. 31st October/1st November 1791

It is always asked of me, do I remember my first taste of human blood? I cannot help but shudder, but I do remember it. It isn't fondly simply because I nearly revealed my true nature to the world. I was clumsy in my first days, I hadn't the faintest idea of what on earth to do. How could I? I had stormed off like a pigheaded fool and left Colin to burn in the flames of our burning cottage. He was my only source of answers and as far as I knew he was dead. His screams had become a chorus to me that night and I had jumped up and down like an excited child, thinking my troubles were finally over. How I loathed him! But as townspeople began to take note of the smoldering house, I ran off, running into town and hiding myself in the basement of the church. It was dark there and I knew other homeless individuals took refuge there. I was fortunate that there was no one there when I crawled in. Hiding in a corner, I covered myself with my shawl, considering what all had just occurred.  

I shuddered as his screams entered my mind once more and I raised my hands to rub at my temples. I now took no pleasure in what I'd done and I swore, as long as I lived, that his screams would forever live on in my mind along with his horrified expression when he realised I had finally found my nerve. I couldn't help but feel guilty, but if he'd not been so bitter and callous to me, I wouldn't have done as I had. I had endured every sort of insult--about my looks, about my lack of education, about my illiteracy, about my terrible cooking, beatings, rape, torture. But to make me into a monster and deny me any pleasure I may have ever known in the afterlife with my dead child, he had it coming for sure. I fell asleep shortly thereafter. I wasn't sure of the time but I awoke with a start some hours later. I remained where I was until I heard Father McGinty lock the doors above. I knew it was dark then. I also was horrified by the strongest hunger I had ever known.

Hunger, for a vampire, is different from when you're a human. It isn't your stomach growling; it is your entire body aching; your mind screaming, your taste buds longing. The scent of food is repulsive; I could smell the stew someone in the village had made and I vomited, repulsed. However, the scent of blood. I could hear the heartbeats. I could hear the blood running in their veins and my body screamed for it. I was no longer myself as I allowed my feet to carry me up the steps and out into the cool night air. The sun was well set and the people of the night began to come creeping out. The drunks, the whores. I wrapped my shawl around myself, keeping my face hidden. As far as I could tell, people thought I had perished in the fire along with Colin. It wasn't something I was going to discourage them from thinking. But first, dinner.

Looking at humans...the very thing I had been the night before...all I saw was a meal. I felt disgusting that was I saw. But the prick of my new fangs against my full bottom lip told me that I was no longer amongst their numbers. I headed towards the tavern, hiding in the alley between it and the haberdashers. Laughter and the usual rubbish talk. Colin had never allowed me to come with him to the tavern, so I wasn't entirely certain of what went on in there. They were currently toasting to his memory. I scowled. Of course they would miss him.

"Nay, t'is to 'is wife!" A woman's voice. I raised a brow. "I drink ta 'is wife. Wee lass 'ad ta put up with that small pricked arse hole! But now maybe she's at peace. Cause puttin' up wit' him, she had ta be goin' straight ta 'eaven. We all 'ated him. Why are we wastin' a good toast on 'im? Nay, what's the young lasses name?" The woman continued and for a moment, there was silence. Not surprising that no one knew my name. I shrugged my shoulders about to head off when I heard a familiar voice.

"'er name was Clarisse. Clarisse Elisabeth du Volde. She was a good lass. She ne'er complained. Only once did I e'er see 'er cry an' tha's because Colin 'ad drank away the money from the barley."

Father McGinty! I bit on my lip, staying a moment longer though the pain of hunger was damn near bringing me to my knees.

"Jaysus, Mary an' Bridgit! Tha's a mouthful!" Someone called and there was more laughter. I could no longer bear the pain and when one of the patrons came out for a piss, I made my move, letting my shawl down and revealing my face. "Dear God, please let me not fail...," I prayed quietly, holding to the hope that God would hear me, one of his pitiful creations, and grant me the strength I needed. I had not asked for this life. I hadn't asked to be damned. How could he condemn me and forget about me? My emerald eyes darkened to a crimson hue and I felt my fangs elongate and prick my bottom lip. I shuddered as I knew the monster was coming out in me. In an instant, I found him in my arms screaming as I made my first attempt to bite him. I had never moved so fast in my life; I have never felt so...powerful...as I held this writhing drunken figure in my arms. There was something about playing God that was intoxicating, truth be told.

Ah, but the young man was strong and he fought me but I refused to give in. He had no idea that I needed his blood; I needed to satiate this crippling sensation through my body. I tightened my grasp and finally sank my fangs in, tearing through his tender flesh and feeling them sink directly down into the vein. Sweet Jesu, there was a peace in this. My body melded to his and warmth filled me; life entered me once again and finally, all of my senses calmed down. Everything seemed a little less magical than it had a few moments before. I no longer felt so much like a beast.

His blood flowed into my mouth and I finally felt peace flow through me. Its bitter, yet sweet, coppery taste filled my mouth and I wanted more. I squeezed him tighter, unaware of the fact that I was crushing him as I drained him further. His heartbeat was still strong despite all his blood loss and I, being full now and tired of his incessant whinging, grabbed his head, twisting it and sighing at the disgusting sound of his neck bones breaking. I couldn't let him live, even though, who would believe him? No, I let him go, looking at his body as it landed with a thud. I leaned back against the wall, my eyes closed. I had just killed an innocent man. Thou shall not kill. This was my second murder. The first being Colin. I silently wept as I ran to my aunt and uncle's house, aiming to steal a horse and carriage--well, the carriage was mine; a gift when I married.

I paused when I stepped into the barn, my uncle sitting there. "I t'ought ye'd show up." He spoke quietly, looking at me. There was such kindness there and I wanted to run into his arms and cry. But I didn't and he didn't move towards me. "You...you knew?" "I know what he was. I only learned last month but I dinna get to see ye; the crops. I feared he did it ta ye too. Come girl. Yer aunt packed ye a trunk of things ye may need. I'll get ye 'ome."

I was going home. Home to Paris. I didn't know what I'd do once I got there, but I would manage, I swore to myself, even as I licked the blood off of my lips. And I would never again kill an innocent. If I had to be...this...I would only kill those who were as evil as myself.  Climbing into the carriage, my uncle closed the curtains of the windows; which I noticed were made of the thickest, darkest fabric I'd ever seen in my life. I later learned it was my aunt's mourning gown. It served its purpose well; keeping the sun out. Each day, I slept. Each night, he stopped to rest and I hunted. I found a groove; becoming better at it.

By the time I reached Paris in the middle of December, I had learned the King was dead, the Queen had been arrested with her children, and chaos reigned supreme. It worked in a newborn vampire's favour. Whoever would have thought that The Reign of Terror would be a perfect time to come of age?

[larryfic-recs]

Do u know any percy jackson au? Also could u recommend some wattpad fics other than jeddiejay and larry_lashton?❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hi! I’ve only found one Percy Jackson au and its quite short. But I’ll also rec another fic where Harry is Cupid (the love god that shoots arrows at ppl’s asses and makes them fall in love lol) and it’s a very good read! And about wattpad, please follow my account pattycake18 and Jen’s account _SweetDisposition_ and add our fic to your library link here! We have lists of the fics that we have read so you can look through those. In the meantime I’ll rec a few of my favorites. As far as wattpad authors go, Britt1DForLife, TrulyMadlyLarry, LarryWriting, onedirection23rd, bestwriterever8, uniquelyxlarry, gaysicle, LemonSuccubus, EvouzAg, booandhazzababe, and smileyourepretty have some good ones.

- Ami xx

Like a Drum (Baby, Don’t stop Beating) by exitthequitters (1k words, percy jackson au!)

They walk through the camp together hand in hand, past the big house where Chiron waves happily at them, past the strawberry field where Louis first kissed Harry, past the lake where Louis first met Zayn and Liam, past the dinning hall where Niall sat down next to Louis before he knew he shouldn’t, and to Harry’s cabin.

Or, they’re all sons of Greek gods at a summer camp for demigods.

cupid’s defence by rhuubarb (100k words, WIP [two chapters left])

“Of course, the ONE time a ridiculously attractive man shows up at Louis’ home, butt naked, he turns out to be an arrogant love god. Not only that, but he’s an arrogant love god facing a multi-million pound lawsuit, possible banishment from Mount Olympus, and a shit ton of adjustment issues.”

Alternatively: Harry is Cupid, Louis and Liam own a law firm, and they’re all getting sued.

Wattpad Recs:

Victorian Boy by AudreyHornesHeart (WIP, currently reading and loving)

Harry the virgin Duke of Somerset knows little of love, while Louis the sly Duke of Warwick knows too much. When the two dukes come together for the annual fox hunt in Yorkshire, Harry finds himself drawn into Louis’ bed. But when secrets from the Louis’ dark past come to light, Harry fears that the fox isn’t the only one being hunted.

17 Black by larrys_fedora (WIP, slow burn, but amazingly written)

When sassy, stubborn high school football star Louis Tomlinson meets the new hard-ass team coach, Harry Styles, a heated rivalry sparks between the two and it is evident that the upcoming season is sure to be eventful.

no homo by louvinglouis (WIP, funnest fic I’ve ever read!)

louist91: I kinda really wanna suck your dick 

louist91: no homo tho 

my summary: Texting au where Louis and Harry fall in love over funny messages but Louis always ends them with #NoHomo. They eventually meet in person, along with Niall, Liam, and Zayn, and the madness only continues.

Thin Walls by beautifulnightmare2 (complete)

Louis moves into a flat while he’s at university, his next-door neighbour, Harry, who he’s never seen is rather loud at night. Louis confronts him about said noise and the two start to chat through the rather thin wall between their bedrooms. Will they ever meet, and if they do… what could ensue for the both of them?

Wanted Most by LarryWriting (complete)

Louis Tomlinson is a thief, and a damn good one at that. Most have heard of him. Most don’t understand him. And Harry Styles is the FBI agent who can never seem to catch him

these bountiful silences by tommoandbambi (complete)

They live in a world where they’re only allowed to say four words a day. Harry meets some people that don’t want to live that way. 

i sleep naked by uniquelyxlarry (complete)

“you’re so small.” as if to prove his point, louis squeezed harry tightly in his arms, and harry just scrunched up a little bit, snuggling his head impossibly farther into louis’ chest. “my pretty paper doll.”

and when louis squeezed him again, placing a shaky, yet warm kiss on harry’s cold forehead, harry felt his heart feel that way again, he felt love. a soft flutter, that even the most self control in the world couldn’t stop. he loved louis. he loved him even though he didn’t want to, he really didn’t.

okay, maybe a little.

17BLACK by obeylarry (complete)

17Black: a gay strip club in London known for hot strip teases, a talented dj, and matchmaking? Harry is moving to London as a new addition to 17Black - new penthouse, hot job, amazing pay - sounds great. Sure it is a clear violation of Harry’s sexuality, but it’s not gay unless you make it gay, right? Plus it’s only for a month anyway. And of course, time flies when you meet a cute bloke named Louis. Who knows? A lot can happen in a month.

Elf Bites ❄ by simmerup (WIP, Christmas au)

“Deck the halls with balls of toenails, fa-la-la-la-la, I hate your beard.”“I don’t have a beard.”“I know.  It’s pathetic.”

A jolly AU where Harry is an elf-in-training who quits his job and moves to London after the Elder Elves cancel Christmas in the North Pole.  He plans to stay in London after that…but he decides to save his favorite holiday instead.  And he may or may not enlist the help of his favorite human and full-time scrooge, Louis.

Wicked by gaysicle (complete, fairy tale au)

ursula lives under the sea with her surprisingly beautiful son. she gives him legs so he can get revenge on ariel by killing her daughter, but he gets his own ideas when he views peter pans son

Fading by tothemoonmydear (complete, one of the best)

Louis knows about beauty; the combination of qualities that pleases the aesthetic senses. He creates that combination every day in the garments he designs while studying fashion at uni. The cut of the design, the color of the fabric, the intricacy of the stitching; it all comes together to create something beautiful. When the science student with the long legs and dimpled smile agrees to model for him, Louis decides he’s found beauty personified. Harry just thinks Louis needs someone to show him how beautiful he is.

If I Could Fly by alessandra (complete)

If the sea can meet the sky agreeably at the horizon, how much harder can it truly be for feathers and fins? Is the water not drawn naturally to the shore? Does the sun not bend down to kiss the waves at the end of the day?

A Larry Stylinson-inspired fairy tale AU that’s mostly fluff with a dash of angst, and a lil adventure thrown in for good measure (feat: merman!harry & harpy!louis characters by pass-the-pencil)

Just Say You Love Me, Just For Today by _SweetDisposition_ (complete, my personal fav by Jen!)

A Larry Stylinson Parent Trap Au

Boys Divisional School of Manners by boybands77 (complete)

What the fuck is the purpose to a manners school? Not what I was expecting I’ll tell you that. Basically a BDSM school fic.

Fight For Me by Mie1412 (complete, no smut)

“So, we’re friends?” Louis asked timidly, his blue eyes looking up at Harry through his lashes, Harry’s chest suddenly feeling all weird.

   Fuck everything. His life really was one big mess at the moment but maybe he should just go with the flow and see what happens. Couldn’t get any crazier than it already has been anyway.

   "Yeah… we’re friends.“

   [Or the one where Harry’s an underground boxer, Louis’ the prize and now Harry has to fight to protect him]

Four’s Company by vampire_angel_z (complete, and theres a sequel)

The Styles Triplets need a mate. Louis is too good to be true. 

Purple Reign by LemonSuccubus (complete, please read the warnings)

“Love is for fools; and I, Louis Tomlinson, am not meant to have any lover other than myself.”

Purple Rain /ˈpɝː-//reɪn/: A of feeling or emotion brought on by the memory of a regretful action, resulting in the personal knowledge that what has transpired cannot be corrected or undone.

Hunting the Belgian forest as a falconer for the royal family is where Louis and his brother Niall find sanctuary.  A regal living within the stone walls of the castle is the only haven the prince’s cousin, Harry, has ever known.  Their lives shouldn’t cross paths, but when word gets around that Harry could be a new candidate for Louis’ notorious promiscuity, the two find themselves in uncharted waters.  

Though Louis believes that love is for fools, he can’t help but find himself becoming a fool for Harry.  Their serendipitous love is only beginning to flourish when royal secrets emerge and test their loyalty.

Baby Heaven’s in your Eyes by smileyourepretty (complete)

They couldn’t be more different if they tried.

Louis Tomlinson is 17 years old and in his last year of the most prestigious private school in Doncaster, before then he’s off to Uni. He has big plans for his future, and thanks to his parent’s money he will have no problem achieving them. Everyone who attends his school knows him thanks to his incredibly rich family, sassy attitude and gorgeous girlfriend, Eleanor Calder. If there’s one thing that completely annoys him, it’s that there is a community college right across the street from St. Mark’s Private School, and he has to look at the poor, totally inappropriate students that go there.

Harry Styles is 19 years old, and (once again) in his last year of college. He goes to Doncaster’s community college, just because the Holmes Chapel comprehensive expelled him twice in the span of two years, so he and his family had to move to another town. He has no future because he never shows up to classes and if he actually bothers to, he’s either high or drunk; sometimes both. His skin is littered with tattoos and if there’s one thing he absolutely hates, it’s the snobby students attending the private school right across from his, who think they’re better than anyone just because their parents have money.

When they meet, Louis is nothing but disgusted by the tattooed boy, and Harry can’t help but laugh at the innocent yet sassy boy with blue eyes and amazing arse.

Or a sixth form!AU where Harry is the fucked up bad boy with too many problems, Louis is the perfect rich boy with too much money and their schools are right across from each other. They meet at a party and that’s the last (and maybe the only) thing they need.

Whatever It Takes by bestwriterever8 (complete, mpreg)

Louis Tomlinson always wanted to have children.

At the age of 29 and after years of failed relationships he decided he wasn’t going to wait for the right person anymore, so he had a baby on his own.

But what will happen when that child gets sick? What will Louis be willing to do to save his child’s life?

Detention by TrulyMadlyLarry (complete)

Detention is supposed to be a punishment, but for Louis and Harry, it’s the start of something beautiful.  Unfortunately, what starts off as a harmless love affair quickly takes a turn for the worse.  Through all the stereotypes, judgments, family issues, and demons from the past, Louis and Harry struggle to stay strong.  What happens in detention, stays in detention.

Strip Me Clean by onedirection23rd (complete)

After Harry had grown up in an orphanage since birth, he finally escaped.

He left.

He couldn’t take being in the place anymore.

At the age of 16, Harry was already on the streets.

He needed a job and now.

When he runs into a man, he gets offered a job that he never thought he’d be doing.

And now, at the age of 22, Harry was one of the best strippers in his clan.

Harry hated the job. He just hated people in general.

But, it did pay well.

When Louis goes into this strip club for his birthday, what happens when he produces feelings for the dark eyed, loud mouth stripper boy who hates relationships, hugging, kissing, hand holding, physical contact, and more?

Louis wants one thing.

To strip Harry clean.

The Housekeeper by onedirection23rd (incomplete)

Harry was just a poor housekeeper… a maid, a caretaker of homes. He had absolutely nothing going for him. He was back and forth on trying to settle in a proper place, but he never made enough money to do so. Harry was always stuck and always came across problems.

That was until he met Louis Tomlinson.

Who was Louis exactly?

Well, he was one of the richest people in London.

Louis had a perfect life.

He had a perfect girlfriend, Eleanor, he had a perfect house, he had a perfect job, he had perfect friends, he had a perfect everything.

Harry would have never expected a job of such worth, but it came about at complete random.

One of Louis’ managers had hired Harry off the bat after Louis had fired his old maid, in search for a new one.

Of course, it started off as any house Harry has taken care of, he would clean up, cook, and go home, unless he was allowed to stay at the home he took care of (which rarely happened).

It was nothing.

Louis only saw Harry as his housekeeper with a shy attitude.

And Harry only saw Louis as his ‘master’ with a big ass ego.

They were opposites, polar opposites.

But… opposites attract, don’t they?

[jippy-kandi]

Digimon Adventure tri. - Chapter 4: Loss | Thoughts

So . . . I thought it was pretty good? I did read a few spoilers and people seemed to think it was really, really bad. So maybe because I expected it to be so bad that when it wasn’t that bad, I thought it was pretty good? If I were to rank the films so far, from best to worst . . .

3 (Confession), 4 (Loss), 2 (Determination), 1 (Reunion).

I liked the opening. I didn’t particularly care for it (because my interest in Maki and Daigo is about -7), but I liked it.

Yokomon being a complete bitch to Sora because she accidentally stepped on her once . . . All the digimon were right to be cautious of the kids at first, but Yokomon acted like Sora was some axe murderer in hiding waiting to get her alone. It was just really weird and frankly felt forced (and lazy writing, just to give Sora conflict). Sora is the one who prepared all the food and made all the digimon happy . . . logically, you would think then, that out of all the digimon partners, hers would warm to her more quickly just for providing food. The other kids didn’t do anything, and yet the other digimon were more trusting of their partners. Logic fail. (And Sora tried so hard to get Yokomon to like her . . . seriously, Yokomon was written as a brick wall. So forced. I didn’t buy it.)

Tokomon warming to Takeru almost instantly was cute.

Tri. tries so hard to force the audience to like Meiko by Mimi and Sora’s sheer affection for the girl . . . and it just doesn’t work. I think Toei regrets making “Meiko”, because her merchandise really doesn’t sell. (I also think Toei initially wanted Meiko to be a “crush” for Taichi, but her underwhelming “popularity” has made them rethink that idea . . ..)

OMG I cannot get enough of the Takaishida brothers. That scene where Takeru is still hitting on his older bro is one of my favourites. XD I like this running joke. Give me more, tri.. :)

OK. The Taiorato scenes. The first scene I mostly liked. I had issues with some aspects of it (Yamato should’ve known what to do . . .), but I thought it was a good scene. It showed the dynamics between the three rather well. What I liked most (other than it being a rather intimate moment between the three), was that it was clear that Yamato was more in-tune and “aware” of Sora than Taichi was, who was completely clueless (as he always has been). It was the second Taiorato scene after that though that I really had issues with (man, Yamato’s characterisation really went down the drain, lol). But more on that in another post, ‘cause it’s very Sorato-y -- though it has to be said that you don’t have to be a Sorato shipper to have a problem with that scene . . . you just have to be able to recognise when Yamato's characterisation is “off”. Because it was.

Yamato asking if they should ask Takeru for help regarding Sora? In what world would a 17-year-old think a 14-year-old would understand a girl his age better? I generally really like tri. Takeru, but there’s a point when someone becomes too-good-to-be-true (and is almost always used as the picture of “perfection”). Takeru’s not a “perfect” person who can make any situation better, and is somehow supposed to have skills to be in-tune with girls’ emotions (that scene prior where Takeru says Meiko is a “normal” girl and accidentally offends Mimi and Hikari comes to mind). They need to tone it down a bit with the whole “Takeru is perfect” thing.

But . . . Yamato and Taichi were incredibly obtuse when it came to Sora’s problem, though. Like, incredibly. As in, forced writing. I also didn’t buy it. It would’ve been one thing if they just didn’t know how to handle Sora’s problem (although I would argue that Yamato should really be better at this than he was depicted in the film . . .), but the fact that they seemed totally clueless as to what was bothering her? I’m sorry, but when all the digimon are completely fine and then you have GIANT BITCH PIYOMON flying around, it defies logic (again) to have them be that obtuse. Weak writing is weak writing. I wish Sora had been given better material.

The scene between Daigo and Maki where he asks her if he could be her new partner . . . was so incredibly cheesy and made me laugh. It didn’t seem to fit in “Digimon”. Tri. turned into a love story between Daigo and Maki for a minute and . . . lol. It totally didn’t fit into what Digimon is. Odd scene.

I did like the reveal (albeit unoriginal) of Daigo and Maki being two of the original Chosen Children. It made them infinitely more interesting (which, because they weren’t interesting to begin with . . . just makes them OK characters now).

How incredibly odd was it for Piyomon to meet Meiko and warm up to her so quickly (A GIRL SHE JUST MET), and still be a total bitch to Sora (A GIRL WHO FED HER AND WAS NOTHING BUT KIND TO HER)??? Sora’s conflict is the core storyline of this film, and its foundation is just so weak. I know I keep repeating myself, but seriously. Some “good” came out of it (what it forces Sora to go through in the film), but it would’ve been so much better if the writers had actually attempted to come up with a logical reason for Piyomon to be a massive cunt to Sora for no particular reason (that is, a reason that isn’t forced as fuck).

Awww, Gabumon and the whole “Yamato-kun” thing was pretty cute. And Taichi’s jealously of not being called “Taichi-kun”, haha. :)

This film had so many parallel moments and homages to the first season. I quite liked the nostalgic throwbacks.

I really loved Yamato’s line, “I expect too much of [Taichi]”. So true. Taito feels, ON.

Meicoomon’s reunion with Meiko was pretty . . . weird. It just felt random (or just badly executed). And it was a bit funny with all her swipes at the air surrounding Meiko’s head (which is not the desired reaction, lol).

LMAO at Sora throwing rocks at “Gennai”. Also he used Meicoomon to boob-punch her . . . I know I shouldn’t find this funny, but I do. XD Funny in a am-I-really-seeing-this-over-the-top-shit-in-a-Digimon-series-way!?

Continuing with the inappropriateness . . . I also found it funny when he licked her. It just totally took me “out” of the whole film, like a jump-the-shark moment. “This . . . is Digimon?!” It was so weird and totally didn’t fit in with what you should expect to see in a Digimon series. I think the tri. writers were trying to be “risque” but instead it just made me think tri. really needed a better writing staff who knew how to keep to a tone. XD; (Also, Sora’s complete lack of reaction to the lick made it even weirder. Girl, some man who wasn’t Yamato just LICKED YOUR FACE. Please react to it to show that it was shocking/uncomfortable/disgusting for you. Again, tri. writers being incompetent, because Sora really should have given some reaction to it. A simple sound of disgust would’ve worked, to at least acknowledge that it was STRANGE. Sora took that lick almost like she gets licked every day by strangers -- and is pretty content to be licked. Her non-reaction was weirder than the lick itself.)

The scene was also getting to look pretty rape-y with him being on top of her for so long . . . and sorry-not-sorry, but get that shit out of Digimon. That shit stays in fanfiction for a reason. STOP BEING A FANFIC, TRI..

Sora pushes “Gennai” off her and he just goes down? Lol. How weak is this dude. Also, it was just weird to see “Gennai” act like a creepy dude. Again, it really didn’t fit what Digimon is.

LMAO at when Plotmon “puppy howls” at “Gennai” and everyone just runs. XD Was it supposed to be funny? XD THAT was their getaway??? XD (But Plotmon is cute as fuck. I want one. :3)

So after Sora tries to protect Piyomon . . . Piyomon decides to remove the giant stick up her arse and recognise how kind Sora has been ALL ALONG. Wow. Random, abrupt resolution there. WHAT IS THIS WEAK WRITING. Piyomon’s entire attitude changes in a blink of an eye. If you don’t have an issue with this, your standards are way too low when it comes to good writing and storytelling. Don’t get me wrong, I love how Sora got to shine and everything, but I wish the writers had backed it up with actual good writing. It really isn’t hard to get Piyomon to be weary of Sora without being an outright, illogical bitch.

OMG, the moment Jou charges at “Gennai”? HOW FUCKING GLORIOUS. It both shocked me and made me love Jou a lot, hahaha. GO HERO JOU!

Yamato can throw Gabumon into the air in water . . . DO YOU EVEN LIFT, BRO!? Apparently, he does. XD

Also, a tri. film where Taichi is in-character and I actually love him? Here, have bonus points, “Loss”. I loved all of Taichi’s interactions with Yamato in this film. Go Taito, go. But . . . that whole part where Taichi and Yamato were underwater and trying to go up for air? It made me laugh so hard. Partly because of the poor animation, but also just because . . . the entire thing was hilarious hahaha. It shouldn’t be, because they could’ve drowned, but . . . XD

Um . . . Machinedramon throwing Sora around – and especially AGAINST A CLIFF – really should have killed her. WTF. Yamato, you’re gonna end up with a woman who cannot die. Be prepared, son.

Sora literally clings to life because she wants to make meatballs for Piyomon again . . . LOL. Phoenixmon was born from a mutual love of meatballs. (OK, I’m just taking the piss. :P)

Why would Phoenixmon let Sora fall off of her without trying to swoop down to catch her? Weird. Also, Jou catching Sora was awesome, but again, totally defies logic that Sora didn’t crush his bones completely upon impact and killed both of them. :P And wouldn’t it have been awesome if Yamato and Taichi had joined them sooner so that Yamato could’ve caught Sora in his arms instead? *cough* (Jou was totally amazing in this film though. THE UNSUNG HERO.)

Patamon’s evolution to his Mega form was too random and easy, like they just wanted to get it over and done with and just stuck it in at the last minute. I personally don’t care that it was too easy, but it was. :P

The film’s ending made me interested in where the plot goes . . . and that’s a good thing!

Overall . . . I thought the film was pretty good, despite its weaknesses. If I seemed too critical for a film that I rank the second best so far in the tri. series, it’s because I really hate giant leaps in logic and poor writing. My criticism of this film basically boils down to the Sora/Piyomon conflict being entirely forced, and for having a few moments that really didn’t fit into Digimon at all.

The strength of this film though is its “action” and pacing, which makes it better than the first and second film. The first film was dull, even with good character interactions – its pacing was too slow. And the second film, though enjoyable, really was just filler. And I did like Sora’s character journey in this fourth film -- I just wish it had been for a better reason than Piyomon being a you-know-what. But Sora was amazing throughout this film and I love her. :P

Can the fifth and sixth film top this? I really hope so. I want to be able to look back on the entire series and think that it was good. That would be great, tri.. Do your best, please. ;)

[artificialqueens]

: Sinning Never Felt So Good (Pearlet) : Chapter 3 : katyasbingowings

A/N: hope you enjoy!!

The canteen being empty merely exaggerated its truly colossal size, with it’s only inhabitants being two dinners ladies chatting away, and Matt, who had awoke for breakfast at the earliest possible hour to avoid any unnecessary interactions with his succubus of a roommate. Matt had hardly achieved a wink of sleep after last night’s events, so his generous cup of coffee was defiantly deserved, the warm beverage acting as his sole life force. His seven pancakes, however, were not justified.

“I am going to be fat like the Americans soon enough,” Matt shot his head up, immediately recognising the bizarre Russian, whose exaggerated red lips most likely broke some rule, though Matt wasn’t going to rain on the cheerful woman’s parade.

“Morning, I didn’t expect anybody to be up this early,” Matt admitted - voice tired and gruff - wondering how Katya managed to maintain such energetic facade at this unholy hour, while Matt was prepared to peel over any moment.

“In Russia we wake when the suns does too,” Katya explained, accent thick and mouth full of toast, “I did try to wake Adoor, she called me a rotted cunt and punched me in the vagina, so I let her sleep for some more moments.” The interaction didn’t phase Matt, already expecting such oddity, despite knowing the pair for a mere 24 hours. He simply shook his head and began his fifth pancake, not remotely ashamed of his appetite. “Do you want some concealer for your eyes, Matthew, it will make them look less dead”

“No thank you Katya, I’ll be fine,” Matt smiled, not bothering to correct her on his name, knowing it wouldn’t stick in the long run. He monetarily considered the kind-hearted offer, knowing perfectly well that the sizeable bags under his eyes were not attractive in the slightest, before denying politely. Matt once covered his face in his mother’s makeup and he’d never seen his father so enraged, that memory put him off decorating himself with the products completely.

After brief small talk between the two, the canteen soon filled with exhausted students all craving nourishment, one even fell asleep in a bowl of cereal, which Matt seemed to relate to on a personal level. Adore eventually joined them, much more miserable than the previous twosome combined, face clean of her usual exotic makeup and hair unruly. “I actually want to commit. No joke. I’m gonna stab myself with a fork.” Good morning to you too.

“If you do Adoor we cannot have fun with the alcohol on Friday,” Katya quipped, brushing her fingers though the other’s mane in attempt to calm the relentless tangles.

“I’m pretending I didn’t hear that,” Matt stated, not particularly agreeing with the blatant rule breaking, though not wanting to lose his only companions by ruining their form of enjoyment either.

“Matthew you should join us! We made friends with a curly haired boy who had vodka bigger than my head, we are meeting to have fun times when the week comes to an end,” Katya babbled madly, acting out the scenario with exaggerated hand gestures. Adore - face down and lifeless on the table - sounded a grunt of agreement.

“I don’t know,” the boy began, though not a virgin to alcohol (even the most uptight Christians had fun sometimes, okay), was unsure of the whole situation, “I wouldn’t want to be intruding, or to get caught…”

“It’ll be who you know, plus curly and friend, I’ll personally get you a juice box if it’ll make you more comfortable, and take any blame for your delinquency,” Adore piped up, looking up for the first time since joining the table, gently grinning in attempt to sway the sheepish individual.

Matt was prepared to argue his case to the bitter end, before he saw Jason tiredly shuffling towards the table, “yeah, sure, whatever,” Matt rushed without a second thought, not even thinking over what he had agreed too. He stood up and planned his grand escape, “I’m gonna go pee,” he excused himself weakly, speed walking like his life depended on it as Jason took a seat.

“Matt is joining us Friday, isn’t that spectacular!” Katya squealed, squeezing Jason’s hand in a friendly nature, offering the boy a slice of buttered bread.

“That’ll be interesting,” Jason smirked, taking a sizeable bite and watching Matt leave in a rush. How very interesting indeed.

***

“Do these arms look like they do push-ups?” Jason quipped, greatly irritated by the mere concept of PE, especially offended by the physical trials he was being forced into. At his old school Jason’s teachers had learnt that even attempting to convince him to partake was useless, though the message didn’t seem to be getting across as easily as in the past. He sighed overly dramatically, falling to the floor in the most ungraceful way, completed a single push up, before returning to his previous position: sitting in the corner of the room doing absolutely nothing. This was not his gig.

The rest of his classmates were filing in, Jason recognising a few he had briefly passed in the corridors, all while waiting for the one and only Matt, who he knew he shared the lesson with after their discussion yesterday. And Jason was not disappointed when Matt arrived, not at all. Unaware of the fact he was being watched, the brunette sauntered into the gymnasium, shorts clinging complimentary to his plump arse, and vest demonstrating his toned, tan skin. Jason absentmindedly licked his lips, unapologetically checking the fellow boy out from head to toe.

Now Matt was completely oblivious - not realising him stretching caused V-lines to show, having no idea that squats just exaggerated the perfect way his rear end was formed, or that being painted in beads of sweat was borderline erotic. Jason remained shell shocked, never realising Catholic school would be the most homoerotic experience of his entire existence, throughly pleased with the spectacular occurring before his very own eyes. The oblivious Matt continued to take a sizeable gulp of water, a few droplets missing his mouth and dripping artistically down his chilled jaw, leaving Jason’s mouth agape. This is pornographic.

Snapping out of his lustful trance, Jason wolf-whistled loudly at his roommate, causing Matt’s attention to shift to the boy lingering at the sidelines. Matt was thankful for his current hot and sweaty state, as it disguised the prominent blush creeping up his neck and coating his cheeks. “Looking good there Lent!” Matt didn’t know how Jason knew his surname, and he wasn’t going to ask, so he shot the boy a lopsided smile and continued his workout, stationing himself as far away from the other boy as possible.

Jason caught wind of what Matt was hoping to accomplish by relocating further away: to be rid of him, and Jason refused to be brushed off that easily. “Couldn’t even spare me a hello? This after running off this morning? Unacceptable. I thought you were some God sent Christian or something,” Jason mocked, taking a seat in front of Matt. When Matt came up for his first sit-up, he caught Jason’s eyes briefly, pupil’s dilated, before returning to the floor. Breathe, Matt, breathe.

“I told my friend I’d meet him,” Matt spurted out, regretting his words the moment they left his mouth; he had never been a good liar.

“No you didn’t,” Jason called Matt’s bluff, staring at him blankly, “you don’t have any friends.”

“Y-yes I do,” he stuttered, shocked at the blunt tone he was spoken to in, and the fact that his fabrication was shattered immediately.

“What’s his name?”

“I can’t remember.”

“You don’t remember?”

“Nope, I also don’t remember how many sit ups I’ve done, you see! I’m not good at remembering things!”

“23,” Jason revealed, “anyway, me, Kat and Adore are going for a smoke at lunch, and I know you don’t like that kind of stuff, so you’ll be cool to hang out with your friend?”

If Matt disagreed, his bluff would be busted, and he was too far down the rabbit hole to admit defeat. “Yeah, yeah, absolutely fine, I’ll sit with him, have fun,” Matt rushed, now not only a liar, but a lonely liar.

“I just wouldn’t want you to be alone, that’s all.” Jason smiled, sincerely, before wandering away. Matt’s heart was beating erratically, a sensation he had not experienced before, and one which he could not logically explain.

***

“I never thought I’d love Monday mornings, but his butt might have changed that,” Jason admitted, casually perched on the floor and exhaling a cloud of smoke. The group had discovered a reserved location behind the greenhouse to hide while performing any of many generic teenage activity, the area completely hidden away from the main building: a perfect location for escape.

“Well I have this real cute maths teacher, he’s called Roy and has the most adorable dimples,” Adore gushed, “and - of freaking course - I came in late, looking like shit, so my plan on seducing myself to an A is not off to a good start.”

“Men think through their dick, I can assure you that it won’t be difficult,” Jason spoke, passing the cigarette to the celestial being he called a friend, allowing her to take a drag and relax. Katya had decided not to join them, instead tagging along with one of her classmates - it was either Tracy or Trissy, Jason couldn’t quite remember - to ‘save her from the nasty disease of the lungs’.

Adore was happily chatting away, though failing to distract the fair-skinned boy, as Jason’s mind wandered to Matt. He was undyingly curious to what sort of friend Matt had made, probably another God worshiping goody-two-shoes, someone Matt would get on with far better than himself. Jason let out an irritated huff, not understanding why he was growing so sensitive over such a simple event, he himself had even insisted that the other spend time with his new companion over lunch, and now he was wishing he hadn’t.

“I don’t know why I get so worked up over him, he’s just another bloody boy,” Jason eventually burst out, knowing Adore of people wouldn’t judge him, and he really wouldn’t mind some words of wisdom round about now.

“It’s cause you like him, duh,” she’s breathed out, as if it was the most obvious statement in the world, lighting a fresh cigarette with her kitten lighter. Unbelievably thankful for the smoke in his lungs calming his demeanour, Jason took another puff, continuing to ramble his thoughts.

“Im just used to sucking someone’s dick and moving on, I don’t do feelings,” it was true. Jason didn’t date, Jason didn’t fall in love; Jason had sex with no strings attached. The best way to do so, in his opinion anyway; emotions were unnecessary, an utter pain in the arse, and he didn’t have time for such stupidity.

Adore probably didn’t mean for her next piece of advice to be taken literally, to her it being a mockery of an idea, though Jason’s mindset was deluded and had little to zero common sense. “Just suck his dick and get it over with then.”