#also: fuck jkr

[repelomuggletum]

Listen, I’ve always been fascinated by Grindeldore...

First of all: yes, I'm aware that it's not exactly the least problematic ship. It canonically suffers from the "kill your gays" trope, and it's only canon because JKR retconed it and didn't care enough to actually write queer characters in her series (though, quite frankly, I wouldn't trust her to write queer characters at all, considering her incredibly harmful ideology).

However, I love the potential. 

We don't see enough of Grindelwald (in the original HP series, because I am consciously ignoring the fact that the Fantastic Beasts movies exist) to know much about his personality or how he would interact with Dumbledore, but he's canonically very powerful and, because he evidently had a large following, it's likely that he was also charismatic. Dumbledore is also both of these things, wielding enough power to not only defeat Grindelwald but also terrify Voldemort, and being charismatic enough to be a politician and essentially a war leader. Watching two people like that interact would be fascinating, especially in a context where they care for each other without agreeing with each other. The tension would be palpable. 

Still, my favorite thing about the ship isn't really the dynamics -- it's the tragedy. Dumbledore may have been misguided in his youth but he eventually grew to recognize that conquering and subjugating muggles would be bad, actually, and he acted accordingly: he began to dedicate a decent portion of his life to advocating not only for muggles and muggleborns but also other marginalized members of society (eg: letting Remus attend Hogwarts and employing Dobby). Now, I'm not saying that he does it well but, considering the state and prejudices of most of wizarding Britain, his actions seem almost radical. This, combined with him actively working against dark lords and being instrumental in their defeats, paints a pretty clear picture of him, morally speaking.

Grindelwald, on the other hand, was obsessed with power and did horrific things for it, never seeming to learn his lesson. Because of his relegation to the status of a minor character, we don't know that much about him other than the fact that, due to the very nature of the time he was active and what war his conflicts were running parallel to (and the fact that his name seems German, or at least Germanic), the narrative is implying that he's wizard H*tler. Naturally, that doesn't frame him in a good light, morally speaking. He never gets a redemption, either -- I've seen it suggested that Grindelwald intentionally lost his final battle against Dumbledore out of love but there's no actual evidence for that in HP, especially considering how it's mentioned that their final duel was legendary, implying that neither of them held back (and, in any case, losing a fight is not really deserving of redemption) -- though an argument can be made in regards to his final moments. The problem is, we’ll never know for certain whether Grindelwald’s refusal to admit that Dumbledore had the Elder Wand was him honoring what was most definitely Dumbledore’s wishes for the knowledge to be kept secret or if he was still upset that he’d lost ownership of it and he didn’t want anyone else, including Voldemort, to get it.

The bottom line is: Grindelwald and Dumbledore are moral opposites. Any reasonably healthy relationship between them would require a massive shift in personal/moral values (and this is not me saying that people with different values can’t have a happy relationship, but Grindelwald and Dumbledore are two extremes that simply aren’t compatible).

And that’s the tragedy of the whole thing.

Dumbledore is forever haunted by the specter of his relationship with Grindelwald. When Rita Skeeter publishes her biography about him, she talks at length about the summer of 1899, when the two had been lovers and co-conspirators. She mentions how he’d been the one to coin the very phrase that Grindelwald would later use to wreak mass havoc across Europe. There’s no way that someone like Albus Dumbledore, who seemed to prize moral virtue, would ever truly cope with what he’d had a hand in creating.

Grindelwald, on the other hand, was defeated by the very man he’d used to care for and is left imprisoned for fifty years with nothing to do but ponder his actions. Again, we don’t know enough about him to know his thoughts, but -- in the case of someone as ruthless and charismatic as a dark lord -- there was probably rage and betrayal, a sense that someone that used to be his had done this to him. 

To me, Grindeldore is not about how they’d be together but rather how they’re affected by the aftermath. Even separated by several countries and fifty years, they will never be rid of each other. Grindelwald was the one to open Dumbledore’s eyes to the injustices of the world and Dumbledore was the one who ultimately foiled all of Grindelwald’s plans.

Grindeldore, in its purest form, is a tragedy, and I find it absolutely fascinating.

[duckprintspress]

So this poll from @pollsnatural asked if Supernatural was the most toxic fandom people have been in, and the vast majority of folks said no, so now - based on some fandoms in the replies of that post - I'm curious...

Runners up from the linked poll include Teen Wolf, MCU, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Once Upon a Time, sports RPF, Minecraft YouTube, Dragon Age, Mo Dao Zu Shi, One Direction, a bunch of others, and a few abbreviations I'm not familiar with lmao.

I'm guessing "other" will win this poll - tell me which in the tags! I'm curious if there's any Really Big One I should have included (probably MCU...it was hard to juggle "size/popularity of fandom" with "relative toxicity" like if a fandom is huge it's usually just more toxic in general cause there are the same number of weirdos per capita but way more people overall, ya know?)

anyway. yes. poll. do the thing.

[aezran]

Always

[erinwantstowrite]

if you want an insight into my brain, i shipped Ron and Harry from Harry Potter and was so immensely angry at JKR when they didn't get together (I didn't know about homophobia yet) that I went outside and nailed the book to a tree

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

Incorrect Marauders Quotes

James: Guys Remus: Yeah, James? Sirius: What’s up? James: I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while now… I… James: I’m pan- pana- panesaxe- pann-pansensu- Remus: Take your time, mate James: *points at Lily and Regulus* James: Boys and girls James: Both James: *points at the roof* And a third option Evan: *falls from the ceiling* *groans* James: … whatever he is.

[aidens-ocean-galaxy]

REGULUS AND DRACO ARE NOT THE SAME PEOPLE

[liv45no]

Harry, meeting Fred and George for the first time: you’re... twins.

Fred: what?!

George: no!

Fred: really?!

George: mum should’ve told us!

Fred: I feel cheated!

George: duped!

Fred: hoodwinked!

[losver07]

sirius: okay guys, you already know why i brought you here

peter: no the fuck we dont? you literally just trapped us like you were going to murder us

james: is it a new prank idea? should we get moony?

sirius: NO NO NO NOT MOONY

james: ???

sirius: okay so i kinda need you to... *whispers* help me ask him out

peter: what?

james: yeah what?

sirius: I WANT TO GO OUT WITH MOONY AND DONT KNOW HOW TO ASK HIM OKAY?

remus (from inside the barhroom): *chokes on toothpaste*

peter: did you guys hear that too?

james: padfoot... you checked there was no one here before bringing us right?

sirius: oh fucking fucks fuck

remus (entering the room): so um... hiya

sirius: hi

remus: so i kinda heard you scream. like just a bit. you know, about me

sirius: oh did you?

remus: yeah

sirius: okay um cool

remus: yeah cool

sirius: you look, um... i like your shirt

remus: thanks. your hairs nice today

sirius: yeah i-

james: OH FOR GODRICS SAKE, MOONY, WILL YOU SNOG PADFOOT OR NOT?

remus: oh well i mean yeah of course sure if thats cool with you

sirius: yeah it is in fact very fucking cool with me

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

JK Row-Row straight up said “I can excuse a child-rapist being allowed to compete in the olympics, but I draw the line at letting a cis woman that doesn’t fit into my hyper-specific idea of what a woman should be compete!!!”

[welcometotheravenclawcommonroom]

(South) Indian Harry Potter Headcanons:

Harry knew he was Indian (mostly because the Dursley’s used to say racist shit to him) but he didn’t know where in India the potters were from until he went to Hogwarts. He finds out from the Patils, who were close with the potters because desis stick together.

The Patils are from the north and use Hindi to speak to each other. Neither of them knows Telugu/Tamil/Marathi/Malayalam/insert Southern language of choice here (I personally headcanon Telugu because it’s the only Indian language I speak and because there’s a huge diaspora of telugumandi in the west, but feel free to choose whatever you’d like). So Harry has to rediscover his heritage language on his own.

He also studies Sanskrit, and it opens up a HUGE world of spells that they don’t teach at Hogwarts (because of course Indian wizards don’t do spells in Latin). He and the Patils know a bunch of spells that nobody else does.

Harry’s pleat game is ON POINT. It makes sense, since he had to do all the chores at the Dursley’s and that includes perfectly folded and ironed laundry with the edges aligned neatly, or else he would risk being punished. But the result is that if you want your saree drape to pass the inspection of even the most judgemental auntie, you go to Harry to help with your pleats.

Even when they’ve graduated and all have their own homes, it’s a pretty regular sight for the Patil twins to come through Harry’s floo, half dressed, to have Harry pleat their sarees or their lehenga dupatta for them.

Harry LOVES spices. The dursleys only liked bland food, but Harry has always liked flavorful foods, and has no problem with (hot) spicy food either. He uses lots of spices in his own cooking now. His food is very flavorful, but when he’s cooking for himself, it’s too spicy for all his friends (even the Patils). So nobody can eat his leftovers unless he was specifically cooking with other people in mind. Ron learned this the first time he rummaged through Harry’s fridge after a night of drinking. Now Harry labels all his food as to whether or not it’s “Harry spicy”.

James LOVED to buy Lily sarees. He’d order them with custom, wizard-themed designs from weaving villages in south India. The women who made them assumed he was just very imaginative, so he wasn’t violating the statute of secrecy since saree patterns are often vibrant and unique. Harry finds some of them in the old potter manor, and they still smell like the perfumes and scented oils his mother would wear when James took her to the local temple for Hindu holidays.

Indian witches often store extra magic in or enchant pieces of their copious jewelry with spells that can keep them safe if they’re ever in a situation where they don’t have their wands. stuff like, each bangle can function as an emergency portkey that can take you to different safe locations if you say the activation word, or ones that create an instant magical shield when you tap them. Harry finds some of his mothers gajulu, gives them to his female friends.

He ties Rhaki on Ron and Neville, and all the weasley boys. Ron was the first person he ever tied it on, because Ron was the first person who he ever bonded with, and his closest brother.

Harry always cooks idli sambar or dosa for his friends for breakfast the next morning after a night of drinking together, and it’s the perfect hangover food because it definitely brings you back to full alertness/knocks the last bit of post-hangover grogginess right out of your system.

Harry’s parselmouth abilities are valued in his native culture because of the sacredness of snakes in Hinduism, and it comes to be something he’s really proud of (personally I think the ‘parselmouth connected to the horcrux’ thing is dumb, so I’ve always imagined Harry was just naturally a parselmouth).

As the number of Indian immigrants/expats continues to grow after they graduate, Harry helps some of his students (he’s the DADA teacher) start the Hogwarts “South Asian Student Union”.

He always has snacks out for his students when they come to visit his office hours, and they’re all Indian snacks and sweets. His personal favorite is kaju barfi, but he always has a good variety of both sweet and spicy treats, especially for stressed out owl and newts students.

He collaborates with Hermione, who works in the ministry, to make it mandatory for Hogwarts students to a “foreign magical language” course so they can broaden both their minds and their spell repertoires. Padma Patil becomes the “Sanskrit Spells” teacher, and Seamus teaches “Irish Gaelic”. (It took him a little longer to get his course started, since it turns out that at least 40% of Gaelic spells are just increasingly complicated and violent ways to repel the English).

Hermione and Harry also work together to make sure there are employees in the international magical cooperation department who specialize in post-colonial relations, because the magical world also has its issues with that colonialist mindset towards countries that were formerly part of the empire.

Just south Indian Harry embracing his heritage, learning about what was ripped from him, and using it to enact meaningful change in a multicultural magical society.

[padfoot-and-leo-ao3]

Some more notes from my planning doc

Lemme know if anyone wants context for these things, I like talking about my stuff :)

[aiden-writes-gay-stuff]

dom regulus is my favourite regulus

[carmsgarms]

I think the most fascinating thing about the bg3 fandom is finding out everyone comes from such a wide range of other fandoms. Like it's not just video game girlies and dnd nerds, its comic nerds, star wars girlies, Disney kids. it's superwholocks fans, (former) Harry Potter fans, anime fans, movie nerds, bookworms, homestucks, like??? EVERYONE is in here. I've even met tøp stans in the bg3 space. There's people who never really interacted with ~fandom~ that are in here.

I fucking love meeting people in BG3 spaces and learning what else they're into, the answers always surprise me.

Anyways if you rb this pls tag the other fanspaces you lurk in I'm so curious.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

JK rolling is like the deadbeat dad of the marauders era characters

Yea, she did some basic stuff to create them, maybe named them,

but the mom, the fandom, grew them up, raised them while Jkr is mad that ‘no son character of hers will be gay, trans, queer’ and more

she didn’t raise them yet come with judgment for who they grew up to be, raised by the fandom, the working parent.

she doesn’t know them as well but she will probably only be back when she needs something or get mad that they aren’t “how they raised them” while she didn’t, only there when she wants control.

she may did some of the work, but she didn’t do much raising them and can’t be mad at shit of how they turned out’ to be.

[oliveee-star]

Remus and Sirius' wedding night:

Sirius (obviously very drunk): James do you think the band will let me sing a song

James ("maid of honor"): you know what? go for it pads.

Sirius: *climbs on the stage and the band starts playing Suds in the Bucket*

Sirius: SHE WAS IN THE BACKYARD SAY IT WAS A LITTLE PAST NINE

Sirius: WHEN HER PRINCE PULLED UP, A WHITE PICKUP TRUCK-

Remus: *tearing up*

Sirius: -SHE STUCK A NOTE ON THE SCREEN DOOR, "SORRY BUT I GOT TO GO"

Sirius: *starts dancing in his dress* THAT WAS ALL SHE WROTE, HER MAMA'S HEART WAS BROKE

Regulus: *trying to get Sirius offstage* okay time to get down-

Marlene (bridesmaid): *laughing in the back with Peter*

[saintsenara]

I need your thoughts on aunt petunia/rita skeeter

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

and i think... hot. entirely on "incredibly niche moments in british pop-culture" grounds...

by which i mean, when i try to imagine what rita looks like, she always takes a form vaguely similar to a journalist named samantha brick, who went viral in 2012 when she published an article in the daily mail entitled why do women hate me for being beautiful?

brick's article was typical, boring misogyny - and so was the response to it, which all centred on the idea that she didn't actually have any right to call herself attractive - but the relevant point here is that i can guarantee that petunia hate-read it literally a thousand times, that she told anyone who'd listen that she thought brick was a delusional tart who should stay away from other people's husbands [especially when they're fine british beef, like vernon], and that she was secretly quite jealous of brick for proclaiming loudly that she thinks herself beautiful.

the way that jkr uses physical appearance - and, especially, the way that women we aren't supposed to like are described either as fat or as unfemininely thin - has always annoyed me [even though i recognise it's a trope borrowed from many of the children's literature influences upon the series].

when it comes to petunia, so much of her physical description is intended to hint at her villainy. that she's unfemininely tall and thin, that she has a harsh, slightly equine appearance serves as a visual metaphor for her lack of the feminine characteristics the series considers admirable - she's cold, unnurturing, brittle, sterile, nosy, obsessed with how she's perceived, performative, cowardly, and so on. lily - with whom she's always contrasted - is a good woman - the ultimate mother - because she's real. and she's also - as the text tells us on several occasions - beautiful.

but if one wants to be more sympathetic, petunia's brittleness can be read instead as fragility. after all, she's a woman who - by the time she's twenty-four at most - is caring for two toddlers [one more than she was expecting], has lost her parents and sister, appears to be at home all day without much social support, is hyper-focused on not embarrassing a husband who appears to be quite a few years older than her by fucking up the class performance he expects but she's not completely familiar with... the list goes on.

what this must do to petunia's understanding of her own embodiment is really interesting to me. the entirety of the person she presents to the world is a fiction - she's a working-class girl with a sister who was a witch, who lives behind a thoroughly mundane and middle-class mask. this concealment will have an impact on how she understands herself as a physical creature - the petunia dursley she's created will not sweat or cry or shit or have body hair or devour or laugh until she can't stand or take or bleed or want or fuck.

and so, when she's alone and the mask comes off, can she think that the real woman who lurks underneath - whose body does all of these things she tries to hide - is beautiful?

i imagine petunia as being prone to a sort of obsessive, corrosive jealousy in her attitude towards women who are more defiant of social convention - especially women who reject the expectation that they will be meek, humble, self-deprecating, and demure.

which brings us onto...

rita skeeter is another character whose physical description in the text is something i think it's important to unpick. she's an example of the second technique which jkr uses when describing women the narrative doesn't wish us to be sympathetic to - that their gender expression has an exaggerated, hyper-feminine aesthetic.

jkr clearly thinks that this aesthetic is unnatural - in that it only belongs to women who have to play up a pantomime of femininity because they are improperly feminine in any "innate" way. dolores umbridge's girlish, pastel looks, for example, are horrifying because the person beneath them is sociopathic in her cruelty to children.

with rita, i am always struck - especially given the turn jkr has taken in recent years - that she is described in goblet of fire as someone with a hyper-feminine aesthetic which fails [in the text's eyes] to mask that she is physically unfeminine.

she is described as having "hair ... set in elaborate and curiously rigid curls that contrasted oddly with her heavy-jawed face", and "thick fingers [which] ended in two-inch nails, painted crimson", and "large, mannish hands", and she's caked in make-up, and she likes her accessories with a slightly tacky vibe.

she's described - in short - in ways which are intended to make her seem ridiculous [cheap, brassy, mutton-dressed-as-lamb] within the confines of how the text [and the world] thinks cisgender women should properly perform femininity.

but she's also described in ways which suggest that we're supposed to think that she looks like someone who is not a cisgender woman trying - and failing - to "pass". the text is of the tedious opinion that we should think less of her because of this.

but fuck that!

what i like about rita is the fact that she takes this treatment by the text and... doesn't give a shit about it. she's loud and eye-catching and caustic and rude and grasping and a complete hack. what you see with her is what you get - nobody thinks she's a good or impartial journalist, including her, and she simply doesn't care! and she thinks she looks hot as hell while doing it. after all, she has her quill describe her as an "attractive blonde". harry thinks that's an offensive suggestion - but she doesn't have to.

do i think rita is a straightforwardly admirable person? no. do i think that she doesn't mask and conceal her insecurities from the world? also no.

but i think she has that self-belief which petunia would pretend she thought was disgusting but which she secretly envied rita for. and i think this - someone like petunia, repressed and concealed, meeting someone who has no shame in immoderation and who gives them permission to exist greedily - is a trope which always hits.

do i think it would last? no. i think it's a wild fling and then they go their separate ways - and i also think, as i know i say ad nauseam, that this matters. the harry potter series thinks of love as something which endures for years in solemn silence, which sacrifices and which suffers.

but sometimes love is a week of getting your nails done, sunning yourself in a leopard-print thong bikini, being trashy and immodest and demanding, and eating ice-cream out of the navel of a blonde who doesn't give a fuck what people say about her. nothing more, nothing less.

good for them.