#also: a lot of old silly art is actually in the depths of my tumblr blog. its in here somewhere

[dreemurr-skelememer]

are u ever gonna show us ur minecraft fic Kia

SHUT YP. SHUT U

youll never see it. mostly because the focus of it was The Abusive Butter Man in MCYT ( 😬 ) and there was a lot going on that i wish to fix.

i want to repurpose it to an oc story that i want to keep for myself tho lol. the story matters to me a lot actually i already have drafts of rewrites cuz its fun

im also actually incredibly proud of most of it. it was a mess because it was written by a neurodivergent 6th grader but what a FEAT of 50 chapters, one chapter a day, for that 6th grader

also the amount of mild jokes but unexplainable amounts of angst i put in there is still in my work to this day. if you read it you can totally tell "oh yeah kia wrote this for sure"

it had a self-insert! (well self-insert turned oc now lol) and that's one of the reasons i dont exactly want to share it explicitly.

not because it was a self-insert (i dont have problems with them! im a proud self insert enjoyer) but because my writing was So Bad dawg that im embarrassed. it mortifies me. (also there were OCs in there from people i dont talk to anymore!)

i have many feelings about my fic and i ended up rambling about it because it shaped a lot of who i am now. also it's what i focused on JUST before i found undertale!

[borom1r]

1-25 choose violence ask game ❤️

ALL OF THEM?????? you’re so real for this ty snfnsnbfns. doing LotR bc of course I am

1. the character everyone gets wrong

PIPPIN I HATE TO SAY IT BUT PIPPIN. all those incorrect quote polls that have been posted where pippin keeps fucking winning YALL REALIZE HES AN ACTUAL CHARACTER RIGHT?? with like depth?? and bonds?? and a personality. yall realize that right?????? right??? ik we all love 2 joke but he would not say half of those things

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

ok I personally enjoy both for Boromir BUT if he IS topping. he is a service top. I will die on this hill

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I block ppl for these takes so no screenshots but everyone who thinks Boromir is a villain. if you think Boromir is a villain I will key your car.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

there is one singular straw and it is bad Boromir takes in the Boromir tag

5. worst discord server and why

I don’t join fandom discord servers bc I love myself too much for that 💗

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

ummm idk? most of my lotr mutuals have different ships from me and it’s all chill. but tbf I’m very selective abt who I interact with now lmao.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

no one yet thank fuck.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Aragorn/Arwen isn’t actually romantic sorry I think it’s fucked up actually. the vibes are off there for SURE

9. worst part of canon

FARAMIR’S “yeah I’m gonna take you from your home and tame you. haha wdym. you don’t need a blade during times of peace.” SHTICK WITH ÉOWYN IN THE BOOKS. UNPACK YOUR BIASES YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!!!

10. worst part of fanon

HM. I will stick with “people who horrifically misinterpret Boromir’s character”

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at the moment I only have rings of power blocked but I’ve had that blocked since it came out bc if I look at the armor in that show I will commit crimes.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MOVIE!FARAMIR MY SPECIALEST LITTLE GUY OOOOOOOOOO MOVIE!FARAMIR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU he’s so handsome and special and I love him and you WILL all look at him and clap and cheer. it makes me insane that his temptation by the ring mirror’s Boromir’s and he’s actually fucking normal abt the Rohirrim AND I just love him very much :)

13. worst blorboficiation

ummm idk… maybe Frodo

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

HMMM exposing myself but I basically only read Aragorn/Boromir fics lmao + since we’re Choosing Violence the most annoying thing is Boromir just being A Brute. like damn I love the surface level reading of the text maybe try engaging with it above a 1st grade analysis next time 💗

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmmmm idk cuz again I don’t interact w a lot of fanartists so there’s nothing like. annoying. all th ✨motifs✨ I do see r very fun + I like them :)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ummm for Serious, portraying Pippin as Stupid. for Silly, uhhhh Trans Faramir is so real to me I completely forgot cis people both 1) exist in the real world and 2) probably interpret Fara as cis too. i don’t get it :(

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

trans Faramir 🩵💗🤍

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

HM idk. trans Faramir again. also bc I love it, utilizing Old Norse culture for the Rohirrim teehee

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

OK IM MAD THAT FINNISH BOROMIR IS JUST ME. THATS ME. THATS AN OUTFIT I WEAR REGULARLY MINUS THE LONG HAIR. I DRESS LIKE THAT TO BUY GROCERIES. i love him for that tho. I’m also mad that MtG Boromir’s stupid pointy muttonchops have grown on me. freak behavior, keeping his facial hair trimmed in those stupid little points

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I’m fighting for my life reading the histories rn 😑 I find them very dry for the most part

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk? I think there is an appropriate level of hype. but idk if Rings of Power had a lot of hype. if it did, then Rings of Power is my answer

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

idk if it’s IGNORED necessarily but the fact that Boromir carries a Rohirric shield in the films does actually genuinely make me insane 💞 I love that sm

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

UNWILLINGLY?????? idk?? ummmm I think it’s all fine for the most part I’m just A Fag so I don’t write het ships. it’s like a moral thing. Éowyn/Faramir gets a pass conceptually bc they’re T4T to me tho

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idkkkkkkk I don’t engage w discourse bc I want this fandom to remain pleasanttttt

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

again idk.. I block on sight if I see a Bad Take + then I erase it from my memory so I can continue to live in a beautiful blissful world where I. forgor abt cis people ☺️

[theartmeg]

!! Would love to see more of your printmaking work 👀 💕 I took a poster printing class in college and it was really fun! (Though I didn't like all the cleanup 😂) The fern piece is so cool!

Daww thanks! It's kind of silly, but am realizing that I have unintentionally had my tumblr focus more on my drawing and digital art, while posting more of my printmaking stuff over on other platforms like insta. I guess part of it is more of my letterpress & printmaking friends tend to be more over there. The printmaking stuff I have posted on here was also before I really started using the 'my art' tag on all of my stuff, and it's pretty buried in the depths of my blog! 😣 This ask was the push I needed to do a little house-keeping (or is it blog-keeping??) by going back through old stuff to edit and add in that tag! I even found that I had posted photos of the stairs monoprint I talked about in the ask post.

And yeah the amount of clean-up necessary can totally be a huge turn-off! I was something I really struggled with for quite a while because the amount of time I spend cleaning up felt like just as much as the actual printing! It was only once I started to pick up on some workflow management and cleaning hacks that made the process a lot faster, more enjoyable, and made me feel like I wasn't a total newb!

Here is a random assortment of pictures from various projects:

When I have a bit more time I will probably try to scrounge up and post more of my printmaking projects in a more organized fashion, but this will have to do for now. Anyways, I'm ALWAYS down to talk printmaking.

[soyouareandrewdobson]

…the ugly. SYAC: The Master Review 4

Last post I covered much of what I consider the good or passable strips of SYAC of the pre-Dobbear era. What I have admittedly not covered yet, were three certain characters of the strip that exist beside Dobson.

Persistent Pam

 Curmudgeonly Carl

And… this guy I am not even sure has a name.

No, seriously. He shows up in like the 61th strip of the series for the first time and yet I never see his name mentioned once

All I know is that he is an accountant, who pities Dobson (for good reason)

And despite Dobson not liking alcohol, they regularly meet up in a bar as if they are some late 80s comedy duo

Funnily enough, he shows up way before Pam, who would have her premiere in these strips

 And despite only showing up in a few strips after her premiere (mostly to make “fun” of overbearing and snarky commissioners I suppose…)

 She actually managed something no other character or series by Dobson managed to get: A fanclub

 Not that she would really be of any major importance afterwards.

As for Carl, he is supposed to be something like an antagonistic embodiment of Dobson’s “old” art teachers and people being stuck in old ways, who shows up for the following strips forming a sort of arc.

In addition, it is very obvious, that Carl is supposed to be a mockery of people flaming Dobson. Not helped by the fact that THIS character sheet of him made by Dobson assures us, that there were quite a few even less “endorsing” things he wanted to name the character.

Yet funnily enough, Carl turned into such a popular character with readers, Dobson was essentially “forced” to make him reappear in other strips. Not of the “classical” SYAC strips, but he showed up as the “antagonist” to Tenku in the storydriven multi pagers. Though even antagonist is a strong word, as he is essentially more of a jerkish art teacher and college advisor who is harsh on Tenku, but actually has his best interests in mind. To the point he even offers him to be his “harsher” art critic in the years till he enters college, because he wants to see him grow artistically.

 However, Carl was also more of an “accident”. Cause when it came otherwise to tackling criticism or things that irked Dobson (and were not anime related) he would end up more or less creating strips that painted him in a manner where he would supposedly always look like “the better” compared to his opposition or mock it. Which is where a lot of the irk Dobson would earn over the years eventually comes from.

Now to be fair, I do not want to call every comic in that regard “strawmanning”, nor do I want to say that Dobson doesn’t have the right to also mock to a certain extend the mentality of certain “snobs” and so on. For example…

On one hand, I know there are people out there who think they are “special” by having the best tools at their disposal. When in reality you can achieve good results also with less expensive stuff. So mocking that sort of attitude is fine to me to some extend

BUT, when you also make down the line a comic like this…

… essentially making yourself come off as a “better” artist or person than others because you have “chosen” the better mass produced crap (btw, that is coming from someone who types this review on a Mac that runs Windows) , then the hypocrisy ends up to be rather strong with you.

 Which is also essentially the biggest issue with the strips I am about to show. The hypocrisy of Andrew Dobson. And no, I do not mean the tumblr blog by that. I mean the simple fact, that the content of some of the soon to follow strips gets kinda muddled when you take into consideration some of the things real life Dobson had said and done either at the time or in the years to come. Well that and the way how he tries to mock issues people have with his work, not realizing how he is essentially just reassuring those “silly critics” in their opinions while making his flaws more obvious to people that may have been previously unaware of them.

But enough talk, let me just show you in quick succession examples to confirm said point.

Considering Dobson’s longterm disdain for DnD you have to wonder what the joke really is outside of him portraying DnD players as ugly nerds, supposedly too geeky even for him. Which is hilarious in hindsight as he would years later become a fan of TAZ among other things.

Less hypocritical but the set up is kinda flawed. Like, you are obviously at a convention trying to sell stuff. Why would some old dude not interested in “kids crap” be at the convention anyway? Is he just bringing someone there and just wants to go, but first needs time to belittle your life choices?

 Rather hilarious in hindsight to me. Cause for someone claiming he has ideas that last for a life time and who seems rather distraught on the idea of others giving their input, he turned out to be so in need of ideas. Alex ze Pirate e.g. became from 2015 onward only defined by Dobson talking about the sexualities of his characters (and not even in comic as by that point it was discontinued, but rather in tweets and so on). Formera, which ran heavily on cheap shonen anime tropes ended up cancelled after two volumes, Cabin Rest was a failure after 20 strips, 2019 he relied primarily on cheap comics about Miraculous Ladybug and his understanding of certain genres is so bad, he can’t even think up the most basic ideas for a magical girl story.

Weirdly enough, that pitch of a garbage truck driver who fights crime? I think that could make for an enjoyable short story about a vigilante a la the Punisher or Sin-City.

 The way Dobson perceives criticism, while also essentially giving a quick rundown how he appreciated criticism in his childhood way better than in adulthood. Yeah, because criticism by your parents as a kid was always VERY constructive. (looks back at certain drawings from own childhood) brrr. And sorry Dobson, but sometimes criticism by strangers is better than criticism from friends. Cause friends may mince their words. Plus people have over time given you quite some insightful criticism aside “U SUX” when it comes to comics. You were just never willing to listen

Hey Dobson, you hear that? That is the sound of your career, dying and no one caring.

Yeah, I think someone who made such “brilliant” comedy as in these comics, totally has the right not to listen to what seems to be solid theoretical advice.

BTW, that Talus comic… I swear to god the worst “joke” Dobson ever told.

 Wow. You essentially make a point why you suck at drawing. While still not trying to change.

And as someone else once said: Don’t play with fire if you can’t deal with the heat, BLOCK-son!

This is not how I perceived your shit over the years. See, on one hand it is true that Alex ze Pirate e.g. has its own webpage to read the comic for free. HOWEVER most of his comics Dobson would hide from the start behind a paywall. The idea being that he would e.g. put a small reading sample of 10-15 pages up somewhere and then expect people to buy his comic for full price to get the rest. And you know, if you are e.g. a professionally published writer, that is fine. But when your average art output looks like THIS

And you expect people to pay more than 10 dollars for something that is only around 70 pages long while most people can get 200+ pages for the same amount of money that look like this…

 You can frankly go and screw yourself.

On one hand I get that the joke is meant to be, that as an independent content creator you may find yourself in a weird spot where your “child friendly” work may be put in a palace between edgier stuff other creators sell at conventions. On the other hand, I find it rather insulting in hindsight, that self declared feminist Andrew Dobson portrays such competition as either psychopathic murderers or stereotypical cartoon bimbos. If modern day Dobson saw the same strip by any other person, he would be insulted on behalf of the female that she is portrayed as a bimbo, when she could also be a very smart and attractive woman who knows how to tell brave and sexy stories.

Also, I have read your “child friendly” stuff, Dobson. I would call Atea or Alex abusive bitches who like to bully orphans but child friendly? Not to forget that your work is so basic and shallow in depth, it’s like the someone tried to create a chimera out of some of the worst traits associated with Dora the Explorer, 80s toodler cartoons and the Fairly Oddparents.

I frankly hate this theory on comedy. It is true, a lot of comedy can be deprived from conflict, misunderstandings etc. Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry and other cartoons as well as screwball comedies such as Rat Race can depend on it. Heck, one of my favorite comedians of all time is Christopher Titus, who based his entire career on the misery and absurdity of his life.

But comedy is not just defined by misery and conflict.

There are for example also the following theories when it comes to comedy…

And to get back e.g. to Titus, yes, he has build a lot of his comedy on the bad stuff that happened in his life. But he is also someone who in his comedy has build a lot of punchlines on the absurdity of certain situations he has been in life but which in a way have enriched his life positively.

 What I am trying to say is, comedy (and entertainment in that regard) does not just have to be defined by misery. And all things considered Dobson, you could have really tried to also just make comics wherein either you or your characters are just happy with their situation in life.

For example, this page from an Owl House fancomic?

I think it holds more entertainment value than your “joke” right here, despite not even telling a joke.

Simply because as a page overall, it tries to convey a positive emotion. Which is more than I can say about the strip.

Because of a lack of different level of thickness regarding your lines, which would trick people into perceiving depth, the fact that the fill bucket and shade layers can only do so much to cover for the rather monochromatic dull nature of your comic, the fact that your characters are not really all that complex and look rather simplicstic even compared to stuff from a comic like this…

And that is just coming from the top of my head as someone who never studied art. If any reader has something to add, I am willing to listen

And considering you could in later years never keep up to any release schedule, which among other things resulted in only three SYAC strips in total being released in 2016, I say go fuck yourself. Not to forget that even some of the worst newspaper comic strips out there tend to actually find a decent following and good jokes eventually, otherwise they would not manage to stay popular for years, if not even decades.

As someone who has worked internships a lot in life, I just want to say fuck you in all our names. Glad to see you having just as much respect for interns than any other scumbag on the planet. Probably even less respect, cause you know, in some places interns tend to get paid.

Also, there is supposedly an entire real world story going on about Dobson having worked at his former university at the time the comic came out and Chaz is based on a fellow intern.

Things are unfortunately rather vague in that regard and only hold up by demonstrative evidence such as the name of Chaz showing up in certain pages of the university and Dobson’s internship being mentioned somewhere.

Well, would you look at that: People have different opinions on your stuff.

There are ways to draw memes funny and then there are ways to fail at them

 You failed.

Funnily enough, that comic rings a lot truer to text than you expect. Considering how Dobson would often emulate certain aesthetics in his comics of shows that were rather passee by the time he published his stuff, plus how he will obsess over certain trends and games for years to come (like Skyrim or his Quiet Hate Boner) while also being unaware about current trends (how do you e.g. not have heard of My Hero Academia by 2018 at least once by accident?) Dobson has always been kinda late to the party. Missing the “zeitgeist” of nerd culture and as such never quite finding an audience.

Yeah, what Pam says. Not helped by the fact that yes, the floating eyebrows are real. Look at some earlier sketches or “professionally published” comics by his and you will see that each time characters get excited, their eyebrows will suddenly split into sets of three and float higher than Pennywise’s victims.

Ironically, that fits real life Dobson at the time and later on even more so than this comic version did. Sorry, but what am I supposed to call a person who has an hate boner on anime for years for superfluous reasons, made Danny and Spot a “gaming webcomic” deliberately to piss on non Nintendo fans and has admitted in some by now deleted youtube video, that he kept a list of usernames from an old forum just to remember even years later the people that were mean to him online?

 Fuck both of you. I do not expect the Sixtin Chapel in the background, but something to filll up the empty space behind you is at times needed.

The comic here is actually called politics. … ironic how things changed once a certain reality show host turned president.

Jesus Christ. I am not even that much of a Transformers fan (Prime fan for life however) but even I know that this is not supposed to be what you design the head of a Transformer like. Not even if they ever produce the Transformers equivalent of Teen Titans Go.

Too bad you still can’t stand the heat, otherwise you wouldn’t have completely disappeared last year.

When you know you are in a no win situation, and still manage to choose an even dumber option to escape. I really don’t get it. I just think the Portal reference makes the comic dated and Dobsn’s attempt at a smug face looks so stupid. Like his cheeks are falling in and his mouth is about ready to get raped by a garden hose or something.

Yeah, considering Dobson’s later constant need for safe spaces and to be in control of a situation and the narrative, which led to so many blocks over the years… if you know anything about Dobson, how this comic becomes harsher in hindsight is rather self explanatory. I just want to say one thing: There is a difference between genuine agoraphobia and just wanting to be by yourself. And I think Dobson just prefers the later on average. Which is okay, but humans still need to interact with other human beings in one form or another, even just for the sake of keeping their mental health stable. Why do you think are so many people getting depressed in times of covid lockdowns, despite many having all sorts of technical gimmicks at their disposal to at least keep boredom at bay?

And by putting himself into a bubble like that, I think Dobson has deprived himself of some of the most basic human interaction, which was likely a severe factor in his mental degeneration over the last years.

It is still a valid suggestion! Just draw some cartoon characters or a nice fantasy scenario on a mural and earn yourself some bucks. Just be sure they are not by Disney or the Mouse will tear down the school!

… Just google up the words Andrew Dobson and Samus Aran commission by ED and you will see how this comic just further shows how much Dobson seems to actually be proud of being an unproductive asshole.

 And by the way, I know that any form of artistic work takes time. Just writing these review posts takes a lot of time for me. But that doesn’t change the fact that people should post and create stuff in a timely fashion, especially when there are e.g. deadlines to hold up too. And by the way, Sloth’s don’t have fingers, they have claws!

And that is it.

Sorry if I missed anything folks, but I just saw how many pages in word this is already filling up, so I call quits for this part here right now. I think I made my point about how Dobson trying to badly deflect arguments people may make against his art and work ethics via jokes clear enough, while also showing some posts that are either harsher or hilarious in hindsight.

Next time we will however address one certain issue about our main character, that has been not directly addressed here. In the meantime, have a little fun video that shows hopefully how entertainment and a certain amount of comedy can be gained NOT via misery.

[himerosy]

If you were writing or designing a story/comic about liquidmarks kitraaandra what direction would you take it in? Bear in mind theirs no wrong answers here, and what's your take on the charictar

I'm actually writing an erotic audio script about Kit. It's on the back burner atm, but I'm going to get it voiced and produced with SFX once it's done and I'm happy with it. More on that later...

About Kit, I think us fans have (understandably) attributed a lot of "raunchier" tones to her character than LiquidMark (LM) ever intended. The old game was really more GSPanovich's creation, but (thankfully) LM is pretty chill with people doing their own thing with his characters. LM has said a couple of times that he laments how so many people (again, understandably) just think of her as "haha sexy slime-fucking space cat" when she's so much more than that, and he doesn't even consider the game canon. Of course, if there'd been more content of her, people wouldn't have to use the game as the source of 95% of her character, but that's not my point.

If you look on LM's tumblr, I have slowly mined a fair bit of lore regarding Kit and his other fictional universe(s) out of him, which I found shed a lot of depth on Kit.

To elaborate on the sort of character I feel Kit is:

On a meta level, I think she's actually a pretty comedic and light character. Almost all of the content LM himself has made of her usually features a joke or funny situation or undertone. She's a to-the-point tough girl, but she has a good heart (LM thought Neutral Good is probably about right) and definitely a sense of humour too (unlike a Batman type character) even if she's not actively a jokey character. More often she's the straight man to silly situations.

Even dark or sexual situations often have an absurd juxtaposition of some kind, like the art LM did of Kit with the slime, except it's offering her valentines chocolates, or joking about tumblr smut still being a "better love story than twilight" or being annoyed at her mom for flirty on her thread, or calling one of her guns "The Answer". She's smiling or pulling a funny expression in a lot of her art, and that should say something. Even in LM art where she is getting railed, she's often just fed up like "ah man...this again?" instead of like "oh no how embarrassing and degrading" or ahegao-ing. And the art of her getting a consensual facial in ClixSposing Kitraandra? She's smiling joyfully -- our girl's happy (I'm colourising the piece atm btw)

The other thing with Kit's depictions is that there's usually a pretty universally understood surface level situation, but there's also a bit of depth behind any of her actual story details that show up. I think that's one of the things I liked about Kit even back in the day: I could *feel* there was more to her character, due to the care and little details in her art.

Ultimately I think Kit is a fun, and funny, character. She comes from a reasonably well though out sci-fi universe, she has a cast of supporting characters for her to interact with (her family, the crew of the Crazy Rush, and rivals like Gun-ter).

She comes from a society and family that very much has a set role for her to play, and she rejects it and becomes a Bounty Hunter instead, since it gives her a lot of freedom. Interestingly, she still has a decent relationship with her family, who are (at least for now) happy to let her do her own thing because they're confident she will settle into the megacorporate lifestyle eventually.

Sexually, Kit "is no nun", and has many notches on her belt, but it's fun, really. I'm sure some of her exploits may have been...in less than ideal and conventionally-desirable situations, but I think with the right tone that's fine. I think CapturePoint writes Kitraandra pretty well, and from what I've seen LM seems to like the scenarios they come up with too.

Regarding my NSFW audio script, I was inspired by the lore LM had revealed on his tumblr, and by the works of erotic audio on the GoneWildAudio subreddit. It is primarily amateur work, and there's a wide variety of genres, kinks, and quality on there. A lot of it is "meh", but there's also some really high quality stuff, like from Kitt Nevada and IvyWilde_VA (Kitt stars in Yuki: Space Assassin, which is also an inspiration for the script in terms of production quality, and to some extent scripting too)

The summary is that Kit is bored and horny in orbit, talking to her ship AI, waiting for intel on a mysterious asset she's been sent to find for a shadowy contractor. After getting a sudden alert, she drops down to the alien planet, and extracts the asset from the clutches of some mercenaries and gangsters. After a tense firefight on the ground, she manages to escape on her ship.

The asset turns out to be an "ancient" human. For context, in her lore, she lives in the distant future, where many of the alien species evolved from modern humans in some way. Her people found some "ancient" humans in cryosleep (probably from like the 2100's) and one of them became her father, so Kitraandra is actually half alien (Varkeeg) and half human. There are only like 10 known ancient humans (including her father) in the universe, so it makes sense why finding another one would be such a big deal.

The human was injured during the firefight, and so Kit heals him, and finds immediately him attractive. After some tense exchanges about who he is and what he wants, they start to relax around each other. He was being made a trophy slave for a crime lord, like how some rich people like to keep exotic animals. Kit bonds somewhat over the feeling of being forced to into a role. She also relates to being an outsider, since she always stood out due to being an alien hybrid, instead of a regular Varkeeg.

Due to damage received on her ship, her FTL isn't working as fast as it should, so they'll be stuck together for a few days.

Cut to: raunchy sex scene, I mean these two and going ham on each other. Fun time all round. I'm imagining the facial art from the game as actually being the "climax" of this scene.

Afterwards, turns out that Kit was hired to rescue the human by her mother, which annoys her because "mom! You know I hate it when you do that" but also she feels okay about putting the human under the protection of her mother's corporation because she knows he won't be abused. They part ways after the one night stand, and she blasts off to her next adventure.

The End. (Yay)

The script started out as smut, but as I learned more about Kit and her lore, I wanted it to be something that encompassed more of what she's really about (in my eyes) as a character.

[marami-ko]

hello world!

where even to really start? i’ve had so many iterations of creative side projects and every time i restart, i try to reflect on those or try to introduce what i’m trying to do. but really, at this point, i just want to get started and say whatever.

i took some time off instagram this past month for a few reasons, but one of them was just me trying to figure out where i want to be (on the internet, if at all) and how i want to share myself and the things that inspire me, especially in relation to this dj-ing journey i’m on and all my other creative endeavors.

nothing really else felt right other than tumblr. which, in complete full honesty, i didn’t think i’d ever really end up back on here, not actively at least. i feel like no one really has time or attention for blogs anymore (which isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing). but the more thought i gave it, the more tumblr and a blog just made sense for what i want to do and how i want to engage.

for anyone reading this (and who isn’t active on tumblr), this website has somehow managed to become one of the most chill “social media” sites left on the internet. it probably still lives up to its pockets of old problematic stigmas (SJW’s, spreading of misinformation, idk whatever else) but it’s so much easier to stay away from all of that noise on here.

and from a logistical standpoint, i really appreciate how you can post up your own things but also re-blog other things from other people. i’ve always liked the idea that this site is just a collection of sharing things you like, all on one page. it could be a silly little meme, a thought provoking piece, artwork, a song. and it’s an exchange. not much is done on here for clout. you can be as anonymous or known and identified, active or passive, consistent or inconsistent, structured or unstructured, casual and silly or serious, thoughtful, and intentional as you’d like. there aren’t tons of algorithms doing heavy lifting to control what you see or what you engage with.

maybe it seems..arbitrary for me to bring these things up. or unnecessary to give this much depth of thought to any of this. i never really thought of myself giving in to a lot of that kind of pressure. i wasn’t so hooked on social media that i felt crippled by anxiety to post/perform or so dependent on it as a distraction. but i can’t say i wasn’t at least partially influenced by it.

and really that’s what bothered me most and why i needed to step away. and it helped me realize that if i use that platform, i have no choice but to be subjected to or to play by those rules. and i just hate the idea that any of that has an impact on my creative process, even in the slightest.

i’m still in a really weird in between. maybe i always will be. more and more, i’ve been learning how to enjoy the creative things i do on a deep, personal level but there’s of course, always the feeling of wanting to share things too—to connect with others through (our) art. and so I’m still trying to figure out that balance between. it might not help that what adds more to the complexity and nuance of that question, is that on a broader scale, i really feel we’re existing during an interesting time of what it means to be an artist or a creative and how we share anything we do. but that’s maybe just a whole other topic.

so…i said i wasn’t really going to do a reflection or intro but here i am. i always say this too, but all in all, i’m just excited to try again. i’m past the negative thought cycle that everything i’d done previously was a failure or that this might be yet another thing i don’t keep up. and that’s bc with all these attempts, this is the creative process. refining, discovering (or rediscovering), experimenting, exploring. so if i keep this up, then i’ll be glad! and if i don’t it’s okay and i can only look forward to whatever new mentality or perspective this will lead me to.

but most definitely feels good to be writing again. (and again, for anyone reading this, who has come to know me recently or anyone who is new and visiting, i’ve kept some kind of personal blog up since i was 13 and stopped around my mid 20’s for one reason or another.) and i’m also excited to share more, of my own work and other works that inspire me. (that’s another thing being on/coming back to tumblr all these years helped me realize. that as an artist, i’m just a culmination of all the things around me, the things i see and hear and read and touch and taste. but also the things i think and feel personally, and the thoughts and sentiments other share with me. actually, i could probably attribute a lot of my growth into the artist i am today bc of this website and all the variety of things it exposed me to!)

so yeah! i really feel like at this point, this blog will be a great platform to give the most full and complete, and hopefully most honest, representation of me and my creative journey. and already i feel a little bit more of a sense of joy rather than dread to share anything. i’d really like to think coming back to tumblr is, in my own way, a rejection of and counterpoint to the fast paced world we’re becoming used to. that i’m actively choosing to be more intentional and taking my time with things instead. so yee, just reeeeally looking forward to being here and doing the damn thing!

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Simpson is a Richmond-based singer and rapper who you may also know as Babe Simpson, one-fourth of the Tumblr-born rap collective Barf Troop. They dazed the internet back in the early 2010s with their uncensored, forward-thinking rhymes and aesthetics, and even got the attention of Drake. Though the collective has gone silent in recent years, Simpson has since cultivated her own steady following around her soft, and ruminative tunes. Her latest is 'Cherry Ice Cream Sundae,' a song about "treating ourselves with as much tenderness as we treat everyone else," she says, and is backed by a lush landscape of jazzy guitars and drums — a sound that could be considered a close sibling to the rap lullabies of Noname. Simpson's now sharing the song's peculiar video, which features a charming but eerie cast of marionette puppets. Over email, Simpson explains that she wrote the song after experiencing "a feeling that I’ve always been trying to put into words but I don’t think I was mature enough to be able to sing. I reached my breaking point where I was like, f*ck it, whatever happens, happens, and I’m gonna look on the bright side everywhere I can. I’m going to 'smile because I can.' I actually changed the original opening lyrics from 'The world is in the shitter' to 'Life is kind to who’s kind to it back.' The world has always been in the shitter, but that hasn’t made it any less special or sweet. I think that’s made me much more of a realist. I recorded it tipsy, upside down, hanging off my bed as a freestyle, and it felt so natural saying and listening to it back made me feel so proud." [via NYLON]

Earlier this week, Lana Del Rey revealed the artwork and tracklist for her new album Chemtrails Over The Country Club. Back in October, Del Rey shared the album’s lead single 'Let Me Love You Like A Woman.' It was the first song she shared from the album after postponing its planned September release. Now, she’s sharing the album’s second single and title track. She’s also announced that Chemtrails Over The Country Club will be out March 19. In a lengthy interview with BBC Radio 1 — during which she talked about the Trump insurrection and her album cover controversy — she mentioned that Jack Antonoff produced much of the album, minus 'Yosemite,' which was produced with Rick Nowels. Watch a music video for the album’s title track, directed by BRTHR, above. In a different kind of statement, prior to the release of the 'Chemtrails Over The Country Club' music video, Del Rey explained why she is wearing a cast in it: "When you see my second video for this album, don’t think that the fact I’m wearing a cast is symbolic for anything other than thinking I was still a pro figure skater. I wiped out on my beautiful skates before the video even began after a long day of figure eights and jumps in the twilight of the dezert. Anyways my fracture isn’t that bad kind of goes with my new bucket hat. Thanks to my beautiful family for my gifts." [via Stereogum]

Joining forces for the new uplifting track, G Flip and mxmtoon are sharing new empowerment anthem ‘Queen’, produced by Rostam Batmanglij. "'Queen' was written about the strong women around me, the queens that raised me and the queens I’ve met through my years,” G Flip explains. “My idea of a queen is not necessarily linked to gender; queens come in all forms and walks of life. To me a queen embodies power and strength; they embrace all they are fiercely yet gracefully. The song was written one sunny day in LA, I was chillin on Rostam’s lovely white couch and he turned around to me and said ‘how about we write a song about Queens’ and I replied with ‘F@!K yeah!’. I’m also super stoked to have mxmtoon on the track with me, she is an absolute queen. I first was introduced to her when I was trying to find ukulele chords to a Khalid song and found her cover on YouTube years ago. She makes awesome music and her voice has such a cruisy timbre to it so I was thrilled to have her jump on 'Queen' with me. She is also an avid croc lover and part of the LGBTQIA+ community, so obviously it just made sense!” mxmtoon adds, “So happy to be a part of ‘Queen’ with G! she and Rostam were such a joy to work with and so so much fun to collaborate with on creative as well. I’m so glad that it’s still possible to make art and music with someone even when they’re on the other side of the world, and I’m lucky that I got the opportunity to feature on G’s song. ‘Queen’ is a power anthem for any person, and I’m so excited for people to love it as much as we do!” [via DIY]

With her hotly-anticipated new album Magic Mirror out now, Pearl Charles gave us our latest teaser of what to expect earlier this week, sharing new glitzy bop ‘Only For Tonight’. “‘Only for Tonight’ tells the story of a currently bygone era of wild nights out on the town - the highs and lows of one night stands and the crashes of the morning after,” she explains. “The music video, directed by Bobbi Rich, leans into those excesses, paying a sparkly homage to the late-night musical television shows of the 70’s, from Soul Train to The Midnight Special, as well as the gauzy, Vaseline’d lens of ABBA’s music videos. With an added sprinkling of VHS special effects, you’re likely to feel like you’re watching a home-taped recording of a lost episode of Top of the Pops.” [via DIY]

Alt-pop trailblazer dodie has shared her new single 'Hate Myself' in full. Everything the songwriter touches seems to turn into melodic gold, with her debut album Build A Problem landing this Spring. Out on March 5, it's led by new single 'Hate Myself', which made its bow as Annie Mac's Hottest Record In The World. It's an apt title, with this instantly-viral moment offering an "inner monologue" that touches on some of dodie's inner-most feelings. The song depicts "someone who seems to find themselves in relationships of any kind with people who deal with their feelings internally - unfortunately resulting in assuming the issue is with them." dodie co-directed the video alongside Sammy Paul, shooting at the Cornish seaside village Polperro. The pair "excitedly landed on the silly idea of the training leading up to becoming a post-lady, and thoroughly enjoyed planning the many bizarre exercises she would have to perfect. Our excellent Art Director, Louis Grant, worked on bringing her home and training station to life. Though jogging on cliff tops in the rain, carrying a large sack and slipping in the mud was certainly cold and exhausting, I think I preferred it to slowly feeling sicker, licking stamps on a swaying boat by the Excel." [via Clash]

Berlin-based indie five-piece People Club are back with new single and video 'Francine', following on from their last release 'Lay Down Your Weapons', which focused on police brutality.  The new single 'Francine' tackles the topics of addiction and lovelessness. In the words of the band: "The song speaks from the voice of a lamenting partner whose lover (Francine) is helplessly addicted to drugs. Francine lost interest in her relationship with the narrator a long time ago. It's a song about commitment and how love can fade away leaving only wickedness behind."  Regarding the visuals, the band said "The 'Francine' video is a play on the old idiom of 'being your own worst enemy'. A phrase which quite beautifully captures the inner critic which we know so well, especially during the course of the pandemic - we've had to learn to each give ourselves a break. The video was shot in the depth of the harsh Berlin winter, in the depth of the pandemic." Director Felix Spitta added "I love the band and I love the different personalities. It is always heaps of fun working on creative output together. Riding through Berlin only with bikes and all the film equipment in the freezing cold almost felt like a masochistic idea from Saxon. It's inspiring to be surrounded by so many creative minds.”

Pale Waves are back with 'Easy', the third single to be shared from their highly-anticipated second album Who Am I?. Lead vocalist Heather Baron-Gracie describes the new track as "a song about how love can change your whole entire perspective on life itself. It’s saying ‘being in love with you is so easy, you finally make sense in my life because nothing did before'." The new single is accompanied by a James Slater-directed video that shows Baron-Gracie performing at a Tim Burton/medieval-style wedding in an abandoned church. Baron-Gracie adds, "I wore a wedding dress throughout and we shot the video in an old abandoned church. I’m really inspired by the gothic medieval aesthetic and at the time I was thinking of the video I was watching a lot of Tim Burton films whose creativity really inspires me." Pale Waves' second album will follow their 2018 debut LP My Mind Makes Noises. Baron-Gracie says of their upcoming album, "For me, music and art is for people not to feel so alone and isolated. I want to be that person my fans look up to and find comfort in." [via the Line Of Best Fit]

The official video for Zoe Wees’ new single, 'Girls Like Us,' is online now. Like the song, the clip sends a message of togetherness and solidarity to girls around the world who are feeling the pressures of society. Zoe Wees says, “It’s not always good to think about how you look to the rest of the world. It’s much more important to think about how you feel inside. It is not easy to call yourself beautiful but being confident helps you to accept and love yourself.” The 18-year-old Hamburg, Germany-based artist adds, “We’re walking through a world with blinded eyes. At the end of the day, we all go to bed without make-up with the ugliest clothes and wake up with the messiest hair on earth.”

Julien Baker has shared a new taste of her forthcoming album Little Oblivions by way of a new single ‘Hardline’. Julien says, “A few years ago I started collecting travel ephemera again with a loose idea of making a piece of art with it. I had been touring pretty consistently since 2015 and had been traveling so much that items like plane tickets and hotel keycards didn't have much novelty anymore. So I saved all my travel stuff and made a little collage of a house and a van out of it. I wanted to incorporate it into the record and when we were brainstorming ideas for videos we came across Joe Baughman and really liked his work so we reached out with the idea of making a stop-motion video that had similar aesthetic qualities as the house I built did. I don't know why I have the impulse to write songs or make tiny sculptures out of plane tickets. But here it is anyway: a bunch of things I've collected and carried with me that I've re-organized into a new shape.” The video for ‘Hardline’ was directed by Joe Baughman, who notes: “Man, even after having spent 600 hours immersed in ‘Hardline’ and having listened to it thousands of times, I am still moved by it. It was a fun and ambitious challenge creating something that could accompany such a compelling song. The style of the set design, inspired by a sculpture that Julien created, was especially fun to work in. I loved sifting through magazines, maps, and newspapers from the 60s and 70s and finding the right colors, shapes, and quotes to cover almost every surface in the video.”

Teenage Joans are staying true to their world and unveiling 'Something About Being Sixteen', a new single that's sure to cement their 2021 as victorious. It's the perfect successor to 'Three Leaf Clover' and a track that makes it two-for-two for Teenage Joans, further capturing the excitement and energy within Cahli and Tahlia as they trade catchy riffs and thriving choruses with the combo of light-heartedness and intimateness that seems to define Teenage Joans' work, and how they're able to look in at themselves (and out at the world around them) through a lens that keeps it fun and digestable. "'Something About Being Sixteen' is undoubtedly Teenage Joans' great take on the classic coming of age rock tune, generally closing our live sets with audiences singing along every time without fail," the duo say on the single. [via Pilerats]

Kate Hollowell took a risk going by the moniker Number One Popstar when she released her debut single 'Psycho.' However, Hollowell didn’t mind if that choice set her up for failure or not. She goes with the flow. Luckily, that mentality has advanced her even farther. Now, Number One Popstar releases her second single, 'I Hate Running.' New Year’s resolutions are, most of the times, created for the wrong reasons. It’s also no surprise that majority of people’s goals center around exercising and weight loss. 'I Hate Running', however, challenges that mindset, satirizing the toxic nature of exercise industry and diet culture. Hollowell said herself, “The song explores facing the hard, emotional work instead of the physical.  I really don’t enjoy running, and I wanted to troll the exercise industry and write an anti-motivational song.” In terms of sound, 'I Hate Running' shares similar vibes to her first single with its classic 80s pop of saturated synths. But, this time, there’s a hint of disco with the zealous psychedelic guitar and electric drums and keys. The interludes consist of a symbolic, robotic, and almost sinister snippet from a workout instructor. It all complements well with Hollowell’s escapist lyrics. Even though the lyrics say otherwise, the track’s sound might just spark that motivation to workout or dance, doing mindful movement that makes us feel good. Exercise should never feel like a punishment, and Number One Popstar is here to remind us. She makes us want to stick it to the exercise industry, proving to it that we will only work out for the right reasons. [via Earmilk]

Alt-pop riser Chloe Rodgers has shared her new video 'The Algea' in full. The Nottingham based talent sparkled in 2020 in spite of the pervasive gloom, releasing two startling singles. Her third release could be her best yet, with 'The Algea' hitting streaming services just before Christmas. The video captures those mid-winter chills, while providing a platform for Chloe to express herself. Constructed alongside creative director Kate Lomas, it was shot at Newstead Abbey in Nottingham. Chloe comments... "I wanted to use a music box in the video to represent being objectified and getting stuck in the same cycles, as that’s largely what the song is about. I wrote the song when I was 18, but didn’t add the verse at the end about claiming my power back until a couple of years later when I felt a bit stronger. We tried to reflect this in the video too with the Chloe in white sort of protecting the other Chloe of the past." Kate Lomas adds: "This was such a joy to watch come together, the video concept is based around the idea that Chloe is the character in a music box, she’s the performer that’s spinning round on an endless cycle for other people’s entertainment. The video tells the tale of Chloe definitely breaking this cycle and no longer playing this role." [via Clash]

Jaguar Jonze has announced her ANTIHERO EP will be released on April 16 via Nettwerk Records. With the EP announcement, Deena shares the official music video for her latest single, 'ASTRONAUT,' the follow-up to two previously released videos for 'DEADALIVE' and 'MURDER'. Each of the five music videos for the forthcoming ANTIHERO EP will come together through bold-palette videos that transform into an antihero character “in a cyberpunk, anime, futuristic, graphic, almost sci-fi world,” says Deena. Deena adds, “as ‘ASTRONAUT’ delves into my anxiety, I wanted the film to reflect that in a simple way that helped portray how my anxiety can sometimes manifest - a contradiction between feeling lost in vast spaces and trapped in claustrophobic spaces. I had a specific idea in mind, which meant that I had to undergo stunt training with professionals and learn how to maneuver in a wire harness. Most of the video had to be shot in a single take because of the stunts' nature in safety preparation, time consumption, and impact on the body. I'm still recovering from the bruises, but it was all worth it, and the team was amazing in pulling it all together. I'm proud of this one as it is 3 minutes of my rawest vulnerability, visually interpreted. I'm also finally ready to share it.” 'ASTRONAUT' is the sound of Deena liberating herself from a lifelong battle with anxiety.  “It is a human trait. It’s how we survive in the wild,” she says. “We’re all wired as humans to be quite anxious.  As females more so, because we’re more susceptible to danger.”

Rising star Mulay shares the smoking visuals for her new single, ‘Antracyte’. It’s the culminating release in a three-part video series from the Berlin-based alternative R&B singer-songwriter/producer/artist, ahead of her highly anticipated EP, which comes out at the end of the month via Groenland Records. Mulay explains about the single, “'ANTRACYTE' is the intro and title track to my debut EP. It’s the soundtrack to the birth of a villain and captures the moment of complete honesty to yourself about the awareness of doing wrong by the ones you love while feeling the inability to turn around. It’s about the desire to taste forbidden fruits, to cross and explore what lies beyond the line and the self-empowering feeling of playing by your own rules defeating the fear of consequences and the power of moral concepts. 'ANTRACYTE' tells a story of contradicting emotions, a story of love, lust, pain and a longing for more. It’s about facing your own darkness and sins, about self-revelation, emancipation and about paying its price, resigning to your fate.”

Only a band like shallow pools could make a blast of 'ice water' sound refreshing and necessary in the dead of New England winter. But the Massachusetts indie-pop group is usually pushing against the current of what we’d normally expect, and now the quartet hits us with a dose of cold reality through their new single and video. 'ice water' is a vivid new single that confronts the mental health struggles brought on by quarantine and isolation, and even the shallow pools aesthetic has reflected this by shifting from bright glowing neons to a more subdued color palette of beiges and browns. Call it a sign of the times, and call 'ice water' the sound of now; upbeat and jovial on the surface, a comet of pop smarts and hooks, but with the darker shine that resides in our lives when we’re positioned away from the screens and digital scenes. As Glynnis Brennan sings “Every day’s the same and / There’s no breaking out / Like I’m stuck here / Going through the motions now” well, we feel that. shallow pools describe “ice water” as “a departure from the music we’ve made in the past, but it’s the perfect bridge between our old and new sound.” That is certainly the case, and 'ice water' continues to showcase the group as one of New England’s sharpest, following a string of 2020 singles that included pop standouts like 'Haunted' and 'Afterlight'. “We wrote the song with our friend and producer, Chris Curran, and learned a lot about the type of music we want to be making in the process,” the band adds. “The song is about the impact that the state of the world has had on our mental health, specifically in the last year. We’re excited to share it and hope that anyone who has had similar experiences will find some comfort in knowing that there are others who can relate.” [via Vanyaland]

[60b3r]

Memes Kill Creativity?

Memes vs. Genes

In the 1976 book The Selfish Gene, Richard Dawkins coined the term 'meme' to describe something with symbolic meaning that spreads by imitation from person to person within a culture. This idea is an analogue to the nature of selfish gene, described similarly as a piece of genetic material possessing information required to be able to replicate themselves inside a living. The only key difference in both terms is that the gene is natural, while memes are artificial. The rest of memes' operating schemes completely mimic the genes perfectly. In our current timeline, memes as we know today are taking many forms: as image macros, short videos, and rick-rollicking music. Memes in imageboards and forums have been pushing internet porn traffic into a stalemate and putting our power grid into unnecessary burden. Of course, memes are not to be regretted, but otherwise need to be taken seriously, since they are able to put our current understanding of media industry and economic system into shame.

As with every other thing that have existed, memes are not exempt in its dualistic nature. If you ever venture to the depths of dark web, you may know that memes also took part in the infamous mimetic Tumblr-4chan War. Not only that, some memes are reportedly causing harm towards some users, even though it is often disguised or said to be a dank joke or mere sarcasm. Memes have seen its share of use in online bullying, mass shootings, and hate crimes, cowering behind the freedom of expression tag. Regardless, memes are also an extremely effective form of information transmission. Like all living systems with no set moral standards, memes do evolve and are subject to natural selection. Memes, like genes, actually work like a mindless machine. Again, this is eerily like the performance of DNA in living systems. The last thing we want from this thing is virulence.

Every day, something went viral on Twitter. Hashtags are flaring into the top trends, some videos are being watched billions of times, and another cat vs. cucumber pic garnered thousands of likes. Viral properties of a virus (duh) is defined as the capability to multiply quickly in relatively short amount of time. The term saw a huge increase in usage during the dawn of the internet age and the rise of computer malwares spread through unsecured ports of network protocol. This term is being applied to memes, as it is like a virus (which is a pure embodiment of a selfish gene). Now, a lot of people are utilizing memes to create art, because it enables them to cater the short-attention spans of current internet users. They create shorts, illustrations, inside jokes, and small comic strips. Some of you might not agree with me on this one, but stay with me now and I will explain to you why I would like to treat memes and art as a single unit of interest in this argument.

The dawn of meme-technology

Viral memes and their popularity are now often considered important in defining a time period in the internet culture. Now every netizen can somewhat distinguish the approximate age, sex, and political views of other users from the usage of rage comics, meme songs, and meme platforms they use. Intuitively we can make a generalized difference between the userbase of Reddit, 4chan, 9gag, Vine, and now Tiktok. Others, by the share of relatability with sub-genres of different areas of interest (film memes and game memes). Some others, even, in the perspectives of different social and economic class system (first world problems and third world success memes). Meme preferences to us netizens are ironically giving away our anonymous identity. Identity which the media companies are vying to get their hands on. That's where I would like to come into my opening argument: both memes and genes which originally possesses no intrinsic value, suddenly become a subject of value with technology.

How do we draw the logic, I say? The ones and zeros inside electrical systems are value-free, so does DNA in living cells. As we meddle ourselves with biotechnology to manipulate genetic material for profit, we also simmer ourselves in the computer sciences and tweak physical computation to perform better. We give value in the inanimate object by manipulating them. In our world, we often heard these expressions: that communication is key, sometimes silence is golden, and those who control the information wields the power. What’s these three statements have in common? Yes, information and expression. Memes are the simplest form of both. This is the beginning of the logic: memes are no longer in and on itself independent of external values. The infusion of utilitarian properties in memes as artificial constructs are seemingly inevitable, and for the better or worse shapes our current society.

We might have heard that somewhere somehow, the so called ‘global elites’ with their power and wealth are constantly controlling biotech research and information technology—or, in the contrary, they control these knowledge and resources to keep shovelling money and consolidate their power. Memes are one of their tools to ‘steer’ the world according to their 'progressive agenda', seemingly driving the world ‘forward’ towards innovation and openness. Nah, I am just joking. But, stay with me now. It is actually not them (the so-called global elites) who you should be worried about. It is us—you and I, ourselves—and our own way of unwittingly enjoying memes that are both toxic and fuelling the age-old capitalism. Funny, isn't it? We blame society, but we are society. But how are be becoming the culprits yet also be the prey at the same time?

Middle-class artists are hurt

Now, aggressive marketing tactics using memes are soaring. Media companies are no doubt cashing in the internet and viral memes to their own benefit. Streaming and cataloguing are putting up a good fight compared to their retail, classic ways of content delivery. This is quite true with the strategies of Spotify and YouTube, other media companies alike. They can secure rights to provide high-quality content from big time artists and filmmakers and target these works directly to the end consumer, effectively cutting the cost of distribution which usually goes to the several layers of distribution line like vinyl products, radio contracts, and Blu-ray DVDs. I believe this is good, since it is like an affirmative action for amateur artists to start a career in the art industry. Or is it? Does it really encourage small-time artists to begin? Yes. How about the middle-class artists? Not necessarily.

You might sometimes wonder, “how the hell did I get somewhere just by following the trending or hot section in the feed?”. This toxicity of memes often brings some bad things to our tables. Social media algorithms handle contents (like viral memes) by putting those with high views or likes to the front page, effectively ‘promoting’ the already popular post and creating a positive feedback cycle. By doing so, they could capitalize on ad profits on just few ‘quality’ contents over huge amounts of audience in a very short amount of time. The problem is most of the time, these ‘quality’ contents have no quality at all. They just happen to possess the correct formula to be viral, with the correct SEO keywords and click-bait titles with no real leverage in the art movement. This way, I often find both the talented and the lucky—of which the boundaries between them are always blurred—overshadow the aspiring ‘middle-class’ artists who work hard to perfect their craft.

If you are already a famous guitarist with large fanbase, lucky you, you are almost guaranteed to top the billboards. What, you have no skills? Post a video of you playing ‘air guitar’ and… affirmative actions to the rescue. Keep on riding the hype wave and suddenly you get to top trending with minimal effort, thanks to your weird haircut. Those haters will surely make a meme out of your silly haircut, not even your non-existent guitar skills. But still, hype is still a hype, and there’s no such thing as a bad publication. This also answers why simple account who reposts other people’s content could get much more followers than the hard-working creators. Not only being outperformed by the already famous artists taking social media by storm, now the ‘middle-class’ artists are also dealing with widespread content theft and repost accounts because of the unfair, bot grading system. It is unimaginable how many nobodies got the spotlight they don’t deserve just because they look or act stupid and the whole internet cheers around them. Remember, this is not always about the artist, but also the quality of the art itself. I believe a good art should be meaningful to the beholder.

Why capitalism kills creativity

The problem in current art industry is that we are feeling exhausted with the same, generic, and recycled stuff. We indeed already see there’s less discourse about art now. Sure, the problem lies not in the artist or medium, but is in the viewers—the consumer of the art form—and how the capitalist system reacts to it. The hyper efficient capitalist system doesn’t want to waste any more time and money trying to figure out what’s new or what’s next for you. What we love to see, what is familiar to us, the market delivers them. The rise of viral memes phenomenon in the social media pushes the market system to the point where they demand artists to create the same, redundant, easy art form. Listen to some of The Chainsmokers’ work and we'll see what music have become: the identical 4-chord progression, the same drop, the predictable riser, and the absence of meaningful lyrics. We sat down and watch over the same superhero movies trying hard to be the next Marvel blockbuster. The production companies are also happy not to pay writers extra to come up with new ideas and instead settle with borrowed old scripts from decades old TV drama. Disney's The Lion King and its heavy use of the earlier Japanese Kimba The White Lion storyline is one guilty example.

Despite it initially being an economic system and not a political ideology, it is untrue that many Marxist philosophers usher the suppression of art. While it is ironic that Stalinist policy intends to curb ‘counter-revolutionaries’—in this case his enemies—by limiting freedom of press and media; American propaganda added further so that it seems that the ideology is also limiting art and kill creativity. We all know the Red Scare in the U.S. during the Cold War saw a popular narrative of communism and socialism that is devoid of freedom of expression. This state propaganda then further become ‘dehumanization’ and make freedom of expression invalid under the guise of equality. Marx argue that total equality is not possible, and the uniqueness is being celebrated by having them doing what they do best and provide the best for their community. Thus, an individual's interests should be indistinguishable from the society's interest. Freedom is granted when the whole society is likely to benefit from an action. According to Mao in his Little Red Book, freedom of expression in art and literature, after all, is what initially drive the class consciousness. It is capitalism, not communism, that kills creativity.

If left unchecked, the threat of this feedback loop is going to cause a lack of diversity, resulting in stale content, less art critique, and overall decline in our artistic senses. Artists’ creativity that are supposedly protected by the free internet are destroyed within itself through the sheer overuse of viral memes. Capitalism has successfully turned the supposedly open, free-for-all, value-free platform that is the internet against the people into a media in which they are undeniably shaping new values on its own: the art culture that's not geared towards aesthetics and appreciation, but towards more views and personalized clicks. How social media and media industry caters to the demands of the consumer are, in Marx's own words, “digging its own grave”.

Spare nothing, not even the nostalgia

Well, people romanticize the oldies. The good old days, when everything is seen as better and easier. Look at the new art installations that uses the aesthetics of naughty 90s graphic design to become new, the posters released in this decade but with an art deco of the egregious 80s pop artist Andy Warhol, or the special agent-spy movies set frozen in the Nifty Fifties. Nostalgia offers us a way to escape from the hectic choices of our contemporary: different genres of music, dozens of movies to watch, and different fashion to consider. We choose to settle with our old habits, that we know just works. Remember how do we throw our money on sequels and reboots and remakes of old movies we used to watch during our younger days? We don’t even care about new releases at the cinema! Did you remember how Transformers 2 and their subsequent sequels perform at the box office at their opening week?

The huge sales of figurines and toys of Star Wars franchise—if we could scrutinize them enough—came from the old loyal fanbase of the late Lucasfilm series, not primarily from new viewers. Then suddenly, surprise-surprise. Our love for an old franchise deemed dead enough to be remembered and treasure soon must be destroyed to pave way for three new outrageous sequels (the ones with Kylo Ren and Snoke) by the grace of our beloved capitalism. Sadly, nothing is left untouched by the capitalism’s unforgiving corruption. Nostalgia has become a gimmick that makes people like some art more than they should, because it’s familiar. It is another way of squeezing your pocket dry.

Not that it is bad to make derivatives like covers or remixes, but the trade-offs are far too high. Consequentially, the number of original arts is now very little, because artists don’t bother making new stuff if they just aim for a quick buck. Most of the young adult novels are essentially the same lazy story progression with only different time setting and different character names. Most of them even have the same ending! No more a beautiful journey like the thrillers of Dan Brown or the epic adventures of Tolkien’s Lord of The Rings, which defines their respective times. Do we seriously want to consider Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey as a unique work? Isn’t the Hunger Games and the Maze Runner essentially the same?

If you play video games, you must have known that the trend always starts over. Game developers are making gazillions of sequels, and only a few of them that are actually good. Most are outright trash. Oh, wait, old video games like Homeworld are also getting remasters to cater the demand of nostalgic consumers. No new Command and Conquer release from EA Games? Re-release the 25 years old Red Alert because people will re-buy it! Profit!

15 June 2020 8.03 PM

[logarithmiclizards-blog]

Welcome to my tumblr!

Helloooo, internet! My name is Sunny B, and it is an absolute DELIGHT to meet you! I exist somewhere out in the world as a Very Serious Art Student, but here you can know me as I truly am: a lover of fandom, a drawer of butts, and an illustrator of many many silly dungeons and dragons things. Welcome!

So, without further ado, let me tell you a li’l about myself so we can get on to the fandom and pictures of butts. I am a 23 year old humanoid from somewhere in the US (and yes, I am quite aware that my home country needs to do better). I prefer a combination of she/her and they/them pronouns, so dealer’s choice on what you’d like to call me at any given moment. On that note, I am extraordinarily queer, and have absolutely no tolerance for the tumblr discourse nonsense. If you post aphobic, biphobic, terfy, etc things, I will block you! Buuuuut hopefully that’s not something we’ll need to worry about because we’re gonna focus on the important things here: fanart, pictures of butts, and being goddam nice to each other. In the interest of being nice to my followers, I’ll try to make sure anything nsfw or triggering gets tagged, but please feel free to let me know if I miss something!

And now, on to the fun part! I. Love. So. Many. Things. Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts, which have an awesome blend of camp, drama, and queer representation. My favorites so far have been The Penumbra Podcast and Wolf 359, both of which I highly recommend as shining examples the Space is Gay genre. And, y’know, also really f’ing good stories with really f’ing good characters. Also in the category of Space is Gay, I love love love the books The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet and A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers. Coming back to podcasts, I also just started listening to The Adventure Zone, which I like pretty well so far (I’m only like two episodes in as of this post). Kind of the oddball in my media consumption right now is actually a dating sim, The Arcana Game, which has a surprisingly in-depth plotline. Besides those things, I’ll probably be posting a bit of fanart for whatever book or movie or whatever catches my interest at any given time, as well as drawing of my garbage OCs. You’ve been warned.

Anyway, give me a follow if that sounds like things you’d like to see some art of! I also am always happy to geek out with you about stuff I’m interested in, or to hear suggestions for my next obsession. 

[the-space-case]

Hi! First of all I love your art and I love you

Hello and Thank You!!!! I’m not sure if you’re talking about a fan comic or an original, or long or short but I’ll give you some tips. GRANTED I am not a professional and you may find a different way that is easier for you.

1.) Think of a basic storyline or prompt. Like, “Man is dying and is going to a mountain to see it before he dies and meets his DESTINY???” it can be stupid. It can be silly or vague so long as you have something to start with.

2.) Think of the protagonist, as well as a bit of the timeframe or universe. Are they human? Alien? Medieval? Elf? For our example here lets say its a medieval man from a heavily forested area. He is a lumberjack who hates potatoes and his old man told him stories of the mountain in the west that holds a magic temple; only the pure of heart may enter. He is dying, and wants to see this mythical place before he passes. Draw a few examples. You’ll want some basic refs to look back on.

3.)Think of the antagonist. It can be nature, machine, man, elderich horrors, etc....(typical story tropes are something like man vs. machine or man vs. nature). For our case lets say its mainly man and nature. Bandits, bad weather, illness, etc...DRAW SOME OF THOSE REFS. These beginning ones don’t have to be in depth. just basic stuff.

4.)Hash out what you want to happen in the BEGINNING, MIDDLE and END. These are kind of the most important parts. Its definitely important to think of the end ahead of time instead of thinking about it when you’re halfway through; thats a quick way to never end it at all. Our lumberjack begins his journey selling all he owns and getting a horse to set out to the mountains with nothing but a bit of gold, an old axe and a sick ride.  In the middle he encounters various trials that test his “pure of heart”-ness. Probably three, they can be as long as you want so long as they are generally even alongside each other. (3 or 7 are magic numbers WINK). In the end he reaches the temple and is welcomed inside due to his good deeds and it was allllll along a metaphor for the journey to the afterlife.

5.)get some good references. You have a time period set, a scene in mind, and some tools. Gathering from our example, we’re going to want; various forest scenes of pines, plains, dirt roads, medieval towns, mountains, temples, animals, people, cultures, etc. We need refs for our horse, axe, and gold. Remember those quick refs of characters you made in steps one and two? Now is the time to finalize those. They’ll have developed with the level of detail in your story. Add background nonsense no one else will notice but will enliven the story like how our axeman always ties his beard when mad or how he prefers apple cider over beer anyday. Give those fuckers some names. Bandit Bill challenges Axeman Abel for his horse and loses his head (literallly???)

--if you can go to like, museums or lectures or fairs about these things and take notes. USE YOUR RESOURCES!! ASK QUESTIONS!!! (For ilulatte I visited a couple of coffeeshops and roughed out some cafe drawings haha)

7.) Separate events into chapters. Generally theres a prologue, chapters 1-whatever, the end, and an epilogue. Our axeman has a prologue of starting out on the road, chapters 1-3 depicting pure-heart-trials, climax/end of reaching the temple, and an epilogue of someone else starting their journey to the temple based on his influence on the world because this shit is cyclical, baby. 

6.) make a fuckton of thumbnail drafts. You know these characters now; you built em out of your own head. You know how they move and talk, so slap down their journey in tiny pages. add minor details to the sides. (Here’s a shitty example of mine from ilulatte!!!!!)

7.) finish allllll of them. or at least the first few chapters. Its good for you I promise. You’ll notice the pacing much better this way! You can add a bunch of extra details in the margins like extra panels and bg notes. Don’t be afraid to experiment with the direction of your story, but try to keep the overall plot the same! (sticky notes are great for this!)

8.) start roughing out the actual pages. You’ll change things from the thumbnails (like I always do haha); thats okay!!! They’re more of a helpful guide than solid stone rules.  It’s like making the scaffolding to make the base for the rest of the building.

9.) do the lineart, bgs, text, etc. There’s tons of helpful art programs for this like CLIP studio paint or medibang if you’re doing it digitally. Remember those refs you collected for our horse, axe, and bgs? Now is the time to use em. BE VIGILANT. Keep copies of the originals. Go back frequently to look for mistakes or missing details. Keep a check list. Freckles? check. Scar on nose? check. shading???? UHHHHHH----SHIT.

10.)you should probably number the pages. keep em in a nice sized resolution if you want to print but lower it if you’re posting to the internet to dissuade reposters. keep em all in one organized folder if possible. Slap your signature on em for extra safety.

11.) ????? Sell it on gumroad idk.

GENERAL TIPS:

-start with short stories. Build your own stamina.

-have relatable characters with flaws. Tumblr seems to hate “problematic” characters but thats literally the point of character building and narratives. THEY’RE RELATABLE IF THEY’RE FLAWED. If a story doesn’t have characters that conflict with each other its a boring one. Axeman Abel wants to help everyone; Bandit Bill wants to help himself only. LET THEM HATE EACH OTHER.

-its also good to have characters that are friends but still conflict with each other. The Dragon Age series is phenomenal with this (their characters are good in general, take notes!!)

-theres a lot of shitty people out there. USE THEM. (seriously though examine other peoples interactions and you’ll make better characters. )

-bad things happen to good people. Bad things also happen to bad people. Bad things just sort of happen. Don’t shy away from unfortunate events; your story will fall flat without conflict both planned and random.

-Obviously you don’t have to share the same world views as your characters. (dont let the antis fool you.) Axeman Abel can hate broccoli but you can still enjoy it. Bandit Bill can be a racist piece of shit but that doesn’t mean you are.

-have characters of various personality, body type, race, height, etc….it really livens up the story.

-generally you don’t want the bg to overwhelm the characters, so most people do a sort of painterly bg against the solid outlines of the characters but thats all really up to you and how in-depth you want it to be.

-you should also make a regular schedule, if you can. Say, something like “twenty finished pages a month” or “four pages a week” depending on the level of detail. Simplistic style and palettes of course take less time to make than full color/heavily detailed pages, so plan accordingly to prevent burnout. If you post weekly, having a few pages done ahead of time will be good in case you need an emergency break.

-be open to critique but don’t be a doormat, either. ESPECIALLY if you’re doing it for free. People will try to take advantage of you; don’t let them. Block them and move on.

-above all; BE DEDICATED. Comics take a great deal of time by yourself, but doing them helps you develop important skills in the end like time management and general technical know-how like digital programs and writing. It’s not just art, though that’s a major part of it.

-probably should’ve said this earlier but make what you enjoy??? People can generally tell if you dont enjoy your own work. There’s less effort there. 

THIS WAS REALLY LONG SO I HOPE IT WAS HELPFUL IN SOME WAY ILU HAVE FUN BE SAFE OUT THERE

[luanna801]

Tagged by @secretlystephaniebrown

1: Why did you choose your Url?

You know, I think a lot of people assume ‘Luanna’ is either my real name or a reference to some character (both very legit assumptions), but the embarrassingly boring truth is that it’s just a random name I started using online in my teens because I liked the sound of it. At this point I’m so used to it, it almost feels like a secondary name.

2: Any side blogs?

The only sideblog I’ve made in recent years is @arthurian-texts, which I abandoned after a short while because I’m the worst. But it’s still there! And I might get back to it eventually, who knows.

I also have a D.N.Angel-related sideblog that I’ve been meaning to start for ages and haven’t gotten around to, but I have the url saved and some posts ready to go, so it’s there whenever I do get around to it. 

3: How long have you been on Tumblr?

Since September 2011, I believe.

4: Do you have a queue tag?

I’ve basically never used the queue in almost a decade on this site, so no! Once I have a post ready to go I don’t see the point in not reblogging it then and there. And I’m a meticulous tagger and meticulous about what order I reblog things in, so I can’t just throw stuff in the queue and let it handle itself.

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I’d see a bunch of gifs and edits floating around on fan forums, and people would be like “I found this on tumblr!”, so I wanted to check it out. Embarrassingly, it’s the General Hospital fandom that originally brought me here.

6: Why did you choose your icon?

I’ve had a lot of different icons over the years, but D.N.Angel is one of my forever fandoms and the art from the new editions is GORGEOUS, so when these covers were released I decided to use this one. And we all know I unapologetically stan Satoshi, so really, it’s no surprise I’d use his. ;-) Plus I love how he’s DRAMATICALLY WHIPPING HIS GLASSES OFF.

7: Why did you choose your header?

I love Dick and Babs and I love Dustin Nguyen’s art, simple! He actually posted this as a WIP back when Li’l Gotham was coming out (it ultimately became this panel), and I loved it and ended up making it my header. I’ve had it for years now.

8: What’s your post with the most notes?

Far and away this post about redemption arcs, which is so funny because I didn’t even tag it. I honestly was just thinking out loud to my followers, and if I was trying to make some grand statement about redemption arcs I probably would’ve written the post differently.

It could definitely be worse, though. I know so, so many people who’ve had some random joke post go viral while posts they put a ton of love and effort into are basically ignored. So I’m glad at least my most popular post is something kind of thoughtful, and started some interesting conversations. And I do stand by my basic point. I think at the time I bought more into certain fandom rhetoric, and I definitely would take a less condescending tone about “woobifiers” if I was writing it now. And I’d definitely want to acknowledge more that there are a lot of different ways to write a redemption arc and it doesn’t always have to mean one particular thing. But again, I didn’t write it with the intention of this being taken as some manifesto about what I think redemption arcs should be, I basically wrote it off-the-cuff with what was on my mind. So I wasn’t as thoughtful or in-depth as I might have been.

9: How many mutuals do you have?

I’m not really sure! A good number of my followers are mutuals. Maybe 30 or so?

11: How many people are you following?

367!

12: Have you ever made a shitpost?

I mean, I wouldn’t use that term exactly, but I’ve definitely made some silly joke posts.

13: How often do you use Tumblr each day?

I honestly don’t even count it that way because I check in so often it’s basically one continuous thing.

14: Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

I have had some drama in my day, unfortunately. The last time something like that happened was about four years ago, so hopefully that won’t happen again!

15: How do you feel about “You need to reblog this” posts?

My general philosophy is that no one is ever obligated to reblog anything. Some people use their blogs purely for escapism and that’s their choice. And for those of us who choose to talk about more serious issues, it has to be on our terms and to what degree we feel comfortable with. It’s impossible to talk about literally every bad thing happening in the world.

16: Do you like tag games?

Definitely! I don’t always do everything I’m tagged in, but I always appreciate the thought.

17: Do you like ask games?

Absolutely!

18: Which of your Tumblr mutuals do you think is famous?

Gail Simone used to follow me on my old blog, and I’m SO mad I can no longer say her. :-P But I think @marzipanandminutiae and @misskirby are pretty well known in their respective circles? (I’m still kind of in awe that Marzi follows me, not just because she’s well known but because she is so dang cool and intelligent.) And of course @aracle, although thankfully her days of being known as That One Voltron Intern are long over. 😅

19: Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Not really at the moment, though I’ve had various crushes in the past. (And of course, there was one mutual I dated for years, but that’s long over now...)

20: Tags

@clearbluewaters, @toalwaysbeme, @firefaerie81​, @chonaku-things​, @bluecoloreddreams​, and everyone else i’ve tagged so far, if you guys feel like it!

[calliecat93]

About Me

A little introduction to the blogger (aka me) and the kind of content that you can expect from this blog. Hope you enjoy! Now, lets get this started!

Who Are You?

My internet name is calliecatt93 (I know my Tumblr name has only one t, ignore that), but you can call me Callie~

How Long Have You Been On Tumblr?

It will be officially six years on September 6th. I actually created the account months earlier, but I honestly do not remember the day. But that was the date that I actually began to use the site, so I consider it the official anniversary date.

How Old Are You? What Do You Identify As? What Hogwarts House Are You In?

You can find all of that info in the blog’s description box on the left side of the page. 

How Did You Get Involved On Tumblr?

I had been browsing websites like Deviantart, Livejournal, and various forum sites for years. I stumbled upon Tumblr and it seemed like a fun place to talk about my fandoms. So I created the account, but ended up not using it. I think I honestly just forgot about it. At the time, I was huge into a kids show called WIld Kratts and discovered that there was a pretty good sized fandom for it on here. So I decided to try and get involved, which led me to using the blog mroe for various other kinds of things. It’s been an up and down road, but I’m very happy with my blog and I have overall really enjoyed my time here.

Current Fandoms?

The main ones right now are Red vs Blue, RWBY, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter, Miraculous Ladybug, Wild Kratts, and Disney. Previous major ones have included Sailor Moon and TMNT 2012. This list can shift at anytime, deending on whatever I get into. When it changes, I will update both this and the blog description. But to put it simply, my blog focuses on many fandoms, hence the term panafandom.

Are You Political?

I have political stances, yes. I will talk about/reblog political and social justice issues when I feel that it is necessary to get involved. WI try not to do it too much however because I do want my blog to be a safe space, including for myself. The main thing you need to know is that I hate President Trump. If you can at least respect that, all is good~

Blog Content?

The majority is reblogs of various fandoms and other topics. I also write reviews for shows as they are airing. It works in two phases. There are my Lightning Round Thoughts posts that is pretty much a liveblog in bullet point form about my thoughts as I watch a thing. The second phase is my longer, more concrete review where I go more in depth into what happened, my thoughts about it, and any speculation that I may have. I am also trying to review past seasons/movies as well. The blog is mainly a cartoon blog, as that is where my passion is.

Why Do You Like Cartoons?

I have loved cartoons since I was a young child. I still remember being a three year old and watching my Cinderella VHS tape. People used to tell me that one day, I would outgrow it and that it was for children. But I never did. TO me, animation is more than just some mindless genre that keeps your kids entertained for an hour. Animation is a form of art that allows one to go outside the bounds of reality and do whatever they want. Yeah they can be funny, but they can be adventurous, dramatic, heartbreaking, and even scary. Animation is a medium, not a genre. Many people work incredibly hard to create various animations and it always feels like Hollywood never gives those people the credit that they deserve. Cartoons have always been a major part of my life, from the classic Looney Tunes to the Cartoon Cartoons to newer web animations. It has brought me more comfort and taught me so much mroe than anything else in my life. It’s even inspired me to one day become a voice actress, who I believe are the most talented people in Hollywood. It’s just... incredibly important to em and the more people I can get to respect this medium, the better.

Anime?

Yes, I am a huge fan of anime. My first ever fandom, Sailor Moon, was an anime. I admit that I don’t watch as much as I used to, but I admire Japan for treating animation seriously. Imo, they are the masters of animation.

NSFW/Profanity Policy?

I curse. A lot. And that include the F word. I try not to use it too much, but yes I use naughty words. Blame Rooster Teeth. As far as NSFW goes, at most I reblog some bloody artwork and mild sexual stuff. VERY mild. Whenever I do, I try to give it the appropriate ‘nsfw’ tag. I do have a limit however and overall, I do NOT allow NSFW content on here.

Asks/Submissions/Messaging?

My ask box is always open and has Anon enabled. You are free to open my ask box up and send me any asks whenever you would like. I will do my best to answer them, but I also have the right to not answer them and delete them as I see fit. Submissions are the same deal. You are free to send me anything as long as it isn’t any kind of negative/NSFW content. Only wholeosme content here people. Messaging... here’s the thing with me. I only answer messages of people I have followed/who have followed me for an extensive period of time. This is due to me having a bad case of social anxiety. I get incredibly nervous about talking to new people, especially if I don’t know them. If I don’t respond, it is nothing at all personal and I will try. But if I don’t, it s likely because my nerves were too much. The best way to reach out to me/talk to me so that I feel more comfortable is to use my ask box. 

Why Do All Of Your Posts Have Typos?

I have a motor skill disability, and possibly dysgraphia. To put it simply, I have bad dexterity and I can’t write/type as well as most people. I do try to edit all my posts, but sometimes (aka all the time) I end up missing things that I don’t catch until WAAAAY later. I apologize in advance and I do try to fix the errors when I catch them. Please be patient with me in that area.

Other Interests?

Outside of animation/blogging, my main passion is singing. Along with voice acting, my ultimate goal is to become a singer. I also like to write and I am trying to create three original works and I have ideas for a fourth. Whether I’ll ever actually post them, IDK. I also like cuddling with my cats and looking at cute baby animal pictures. Something else that you will see on this blog frequently.

Goal As A Blogger?

As I said, I ultimately want this to be a safe space not just for others who find it, but for myself. This is one of the few places where I feel okay expressing myself, what I love, and my opinions about things. But mainly, I just want the blog to be a fun place for the people who stumble across it.Even fi it’s just to laugh at me and my silly opinions over cartoons, as long as someone is enjoying themselves son here. IDK how well I do with that, but I have fun doing it. In a way, I guess that’s what matters in the end.

Where Else Can I Find You?

Links to my Twitter and Archive Of Our Own profile are in the sidebar. I’m not on Twitter all that much, which I’m trying to do better with, but feel free to follow/message me! I also have a Discord, but I’m weary of giving that away unless I recognize you. Otherwise, here on Tumblr is where I mainly hang out.

Do You Ever Wonder Why We’re Here?

Well, it’s one of life’s great mysteries, isn’t it?

This page will be updated whenever either things change or when I think of something else to add. Thank you all for reading and I hope that this answered nay potential questions you may have for me. I hope that you all will enjoy the blog!

[frejann]

A post about Hetalia

I get too many asks like this so I’m going to tell you some more in depth shit okay so get ready, this is the last time I try to explain why I try to avoid this show even though i like some of the characters and some of the ideas of the show.

The idea of the show

The concept of Hetalia is really cool, maybe it could be good. A bunch of characters that are the representations of entire countries full of people that then have to interact and try their best to get along and make the humans behave while also teaching the audience about historical events and culture in various countries. Sure it’s really complicated and weird, but anime is always like that and the idea sounds kinda interesting. The show is very simple and silly and the characters are all goofy and funny. Nothing violent ever really happens its pretty much just the characters interacting and giving us some historical lessons full of jokes.

Is Hetalia offensive and racist?

I would say Hetalia could be a lot better, both in how its told and how its made, If you’re a person who has never read the manga or seen the anime the idea of it probably sounds very problematic but it’s actually not that bad. Dont get me wrong, parts of it are pretty bad but not as bad as you’d think, at least not the original Japanese version. The show doesn’t necessarily touch much on the very sensitive historical events its not like we see actual war scenes or characters dying, rather it tells us facts about the countries, about the culture. As a person who always loved history and culture I’d have to say some of the jokes in the show can be pretty funny and maybe even clever (but most of the time its just Italy running around and making weird noises). It’s safe to say the original idea for this show was probably for it to simply be an educational and fun way to learn world history, whether it actually is what it tries to be is up for debate.When it comes to racism the English dub however does have a lot of pretty terrible jokes, obvious stereotype accents and so on that many may find offensive, but that’s just the English version. But that’s not really the point, what makes Hetalia really offensive and annoying are the fans, and I feel bad for saying it but its true

The Hetalia fans

The show in itself may actually be pretty okay, some may hate it but the show in itself isn’t actually the worst show to ever be created on this earth believe it or not. But the fandom blows things out and create so much bullshit that it does make the show seem really bad. 

Anyone can tell that things are about to get problematic if you have fan girls shipping countries that in real life have been in war with each other. I wouldn’t say its wrong to ship the characters in the show they are fictional after all, but the fans go way out of hand and they bring their weird fan girl stuff into real life. I have literally met fans of the show that dressed up as Nazis, I have met people who drew so much problematic fan art, I have met people who constantly joked about horrible real life events and used them as content for their shippings. I can maybe understand if its events that took place a long time ago (many shows and comedians do that kinda stuff, Hetalia isn’t the only show that jokes about Hitler and nazis) but the Hetalia fans have a tendency to also use horrible things that may have happened very recently, events from which many victims are still grieving or events that are still going on right now and it’s very disturbing.

Not to mention that for some reason the hetalia fandom in particular is very good at creating loads of fan content that involves incest and rape, I’m not sure why but I have never seen so much of that kinda content in any other fandom. Usually I dont care what kinda weird creepy shit other people draw or write, but when there’e so much of it it kinda creeps me out.

Why are they so annoying?

Hetalia fans in most cases, are pretty young, about 13 to 17 years old, of course younger and older fans exist but this is just based on the many people I talked to for years. Also I personally liked the show from when I was 14 to when I was about 18. Because of this its understandable why many of the fans are considered reckless, uneducated and annoying, because that’s what people are like when they are teenagers. I was stupid when I was a teen as well.

The show can also be brought up at all times because the show is literally about the entire world. The fans appear as so annoying because they bring up Hetalia in every fucking conversation and it makes me want to die. Almost all anime fans are a bit like that, we like to bring up our fave anime, I’m guilty of that as well, but hetalia fans are the best at it for sure because you can almost always find a way to sneak Hetalia into any topic. I’m not saying thats some kind of excuse for hetalia fans behavior but at least there’s a bit of an explanation to why they can seem so obnoxious.

Personal experiences

I’m not saying all hetalia fans are bad people but many of them are annoying and many of them do things without thinking first. About a year ago at a convention I met a friend and she had a big group of hetalia fans. At one point one girl asked me if I was the person who made the “the adventures of potatoboy” comic and the fan art and such, she recognized me from selfies I had posted on tumblr. I told her that yes that’s me and then kindly asked her not to tell people about it because I don’t like getting too much attention. However only minutes later she had told the entire group and started showing my comic to everyone, about 30 people. They all started talking to me, that’s cool I guess but I have social anxiety so I wasn’t really feeling it. I clearly stated I wanted to leave and go to my friends and started walking away, but some girls followed me and asked questions about the comic; that is not cool. I ended up having to distract them and then literally run and hide for about 15 minutes until finally I met my jojo group and hid behind them for the rest of that day, that is absolutely not cool. They were never necessarily rude to me but I was really scared when several people started following me and didn’t want to leave me alone despite the fact that I told them multiple times. And I’m not saying all Hetalia fans are like them but many of them seriously are and I know because I have met them many times. 

Ever since I stopped posting Hetalia content and moved on to other shows the amount of drama, arguments and anon hate I used to get involved in without even trying has basically gone down to almost zero. Also my art doesn't get stolen as much anymore, when I drew Hetalia my art got reposted by other people so much to the point where someone even made an instagram account and pretended to be me in order to gain more followers. Also people would sell my art on redbubble without asking me. If that’s not fucking weird then I don’t know what is.

So do I actually hate Hetalia?

No, I dont. I always liked the characters, they are silly and fun to draw. Yes the animation is probably the worst I have ever seen in an anime and the show certainly isn’t perfect in fact it’s pretty shit. But I don’t hate it and I dont hate people who like it, however I don’t trust the Hetalia fandom and I dont want to be a part of it ever again. All they do is argue, get into fights, act stupid in public and make me scared to go to conventions. If you like Hetalia that’s fine, if you think it’s racist and offensive then yeah that is your opinion and I understand that. For me what made me stop liking it was the fans, and yeah maybe I just had bad luck and kept running into the fans that steal and harass people but it made me very tired, and probably a main reason is also the fact that I got older

[franeridart]

hey fran, i really love you & your art!! i fell in love w your bokuroteru tattoo au after reading it through, and then i found your bakushimas and i love them so much! you're actually the reason i found the motivation to start bnha lol and i'm really glad i did, so thx!

Thank you!!!!!! So much!!!!!!!!!! For liking my stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O* and you’re most welcome, I’m super happy you’re liking it!!!!!

Anon said:I love dragons and I love kiri and I love your art so that post is like all three of my favourite things rolled into one, B L E S S.

I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:your traditional sketches are so cool!!! i feel like it kinda adds like depth to it or something but like those are so neat what if you lined some

Thanks!! And I’ve actually thought about that, but I’m not much a fan of going back on stuff I already posted... it’s more probably I’ll just go back to the concept and draw more instead of lining those haha

Anon said:FRAN UR TRADITIONAL ART IS SO CUTE OMG ITS SO GOOD (also DRAGONSSSS)

GAH I’M SO DAMN HAPPY YOU GUYS ACTUALLY LIKED THOSE OH MY G O D S

Anon said:voltron third season is cOMING SOON AS IN TWO DAYS AAAAAA ARE U EXCITED?

Anon... my pal... my dear friend... I don’t know how to break this to you but... I haven’t even properly watched s2 yet...

Anon said:i started reading bnha bc i wanted to understand your art better, and I gotta say it's a really great series. thanks for inspiring me to read it. finished the manga today and my favs are definitely kirishima, tamaki, toshinori and fatgum. actually I knew kiri would be my fave anyway bc 75% of why i got interested in your bnha drawings was bc of him...he's just?? so good?? that aside your art is incredible and your characterizations of the bakusquad are perfect. you're super cool, keep doing you!

I’m!!!!!!!!!!!! aaahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much oh my god ;A; I’m happy you decided to try it, I’m super happy you ended up liking it, and I’m indecently happy you actually do like Kirishima!!!!! BOI!!!!!!!!!!!! He needs all the love he can get, the pure son ;A;

Anon said:your art is so good wth!! everytime i get the notif that you posted i get so excited!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!

Anon said:The fuck is shitty ab these traditional art pics. They're good, everything u do is good, don't play blind u perfect shit

Tough love! Sometimes this comes around my inbox too haha it’s fine anon, the reason why I rarely draw traditionally is that I never feel like I’m done with a drawing when I do, feel incomplete for however much details I put in because tbh there’s always more I can do on them, so with shitty I mostly meant “incomplete” lol going okay this is finished is something I don’t know how to do with traditional doodles hah

Anon said:yo what happened to your hand bro?

Therapy with my dermatologist that ends up giving me blisters on one of my fingers! It’s nothing serious, but makes arting sorta hard haha

Anon said:You should draw more kiribaku kids it had me really interested and brought out my happy

Should I 👀👀👀 an ugly word, let’s try with could next time shall we - that said, seems like yall really did like something that for me was a one time thing! I might get back on them in the near future, just because that post seems to have blown up way more than I had anticipated haha

Anon said:ahhhhhhh i absolutely love your art. i've been feeling very irritated lately and your kiribaku / kiribakushima art really helps calm me down.

This makes me super happy to know!!!! Oh my gods!!!!!! I hope life has stopped getting on your nerves in the couple days it took me to answer, anon!!!

Anon said:Headcanon: kirishima plays dream daddy

To be honest I don’t know anything about that game aside from “it’s a dating sim” and “it’s gay”, but either way to me it sounds more like something Kaminari would play hahaha

Anon said:Hey Fran! I recently caught up with the BNHA anime thanks to you (still have to get around to the manga) and I loveeee itt so much (pretty much adopted like 20 kids😂) have a lil question tho, in your AU/bnha comic thingy are Bakugo and Midoriya finally like... "okay" friends? Or is Bakugo still acting like he hates the poor boy? Thanks in advance and also absolutely love your art~😍

WEEEEHHHHYYYYYY I’m glad you decided to check it out, anon!!!!! But, I’m sorry I’m gonna need you to be more specific here since I don’t have any “ongoing” AU for that fandom atm - exactly which comic are you referring to?

Anon said:I've been restraining myself from going on Tumblr to once a month max for like a year or so now because it was exams and then I had a new year (MY LAST YEAR) of high school to worry about, and I know me. When I go on Tumblr, I stay on Tumblr for literally an entire day. Or more. And then I accidentally stumbled upon your stuff today and wasted (thoroughly enjoyed) a day of scrolling through your art and asks. I never knew I shipped bakushima so hard until today. Thank you for your beautiful art.

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’m so happy you decided to use your one day for my blog omfg !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so so much for this ask, it made me really super happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:do you know the song that is playing when endeavor is fight the winged nomu? ive tried looking for it but I can't seem to find it. thanks if you know it. its fine if you don't. btw you're amazing

Eeep sorry anon this ask is so old omfg I hope you found your answer somewhere else - also because I’m actually the worst person in the world to ask about soundtracks orz so, like, double sorry o

Anon said:A cute kirikamibaku thought to hopefully help cheer you as you wait for your hand to heal again: the three of them going out to a restaurant and Denki trying to subtly convince the other two to order something he wants to try when he can't decide what he wants to eat. Whenever he succeeds, he ends up eating just as much off their plates as his own.

This has actually been cheering me up for days now so thank you !!!!!!! Also because I’ve been thinking about Bakugou giving in but making it super spicy out of spite and honestly that’s the funniest thing hahahaha

Anon said:MATSUHANA🌸🌸🌸🌸

IT’S INDEED A SHIP THAT EXISTS! A GREAT ONE TOO!!

Anon said:I can't stop thinking abt that one anon that sent you "Batsuki Katsuki" and I'm losing my fuckin mind over it oh my god but anyway hello I love ur art I hope you have a good day ( ˘ ³˘)♥

THANK YOU!!!! I hope you’ll have a great month, anon!!!! *O* and also tbh same I randomly remember it and laugh by myself thank you anon for that gem I’m never getting over it haha

Anon said:I live for your bakukirikami art. I never had an ot3 until these boys, and they're just so so good. Do you think any of them ever gets insecure/jealous about the other two's bond in the relationship? I feel like if anyone would it might be Denki? But I dunno, because the way you portray them I like to think that they all actually just love watching each other be cute and bond and stuff.

Yeah that’s how I see them!  You know how, like... when you’re friends with two people and they’re friends with each other and you look at them being silly together and you’re like boy I’m so glad I have both of you in my life and that I can have you both at the same time and that you can be silly and adorable and happy together too - that’s exactly how I portray the bkk, only it’s romantic instead of platonic haha

Anon said:Your art has inspired me to write some BakuKiri / KiriBaku bless!!!! I'm also writing KiriBakuKami as well, thank you so much for the gorgeous art!

THIS IS THE BEST SORT OF ASK!!! THE BEST!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! It's the anon that asked about posting your art online for the first time. Thank you so much for answering my questions! That means a lot to me. I'll definitely take your advice. You made me feel a lot better about posting my stuff online. I'm gonna go ahead and draw the things that make me happy and,, hopefully I'll find people that like it like me!

AAAAHHHHHH I’m happy I could help!!! And I’m sure you will, anon!!!!! I hope you’ll be able to have a great time in whatever community you decide to be part of *O*

Anon said:I was feeling slightly uck but then I was like "you know what would make you feel better" and I just started scrolling through your blog and HONESTLY you are a blessing I feel a lot better and lighter and looking at your blog is literal self care for me now I love you and I hope you have a fantastic day

Sob thank you so much for this ask ;A; aaahhhhhhhh!!!! I’m so happy I can help you like that and this made me feel great back when I first read it (and also now that I’m rereading it, honestly!!!) so thank you for making my days better too, anon!!!!

[checanty]

HELLO this might be a little personal so if you don't want to answer this question I completly understand. I was wondering how you deal with your (art)-anxiety (you know the thing: self critisism and knocking yourself down all the time, being scared shitless about the future because life is getting real now). Do you have some tips or thoughts? X

Alright. So this is a big topic. It’s not always easy to tell since we tend to make sure to project our best self via social media, but anxiety and self doubts are not especially rare with artists including the ones you think have *made it*.  However, while I can talk about how I personally deal with anxiety, we all feel differently and not everything that works for me will work for you. Take what’s useful to you and leave the rest here. I’m just a silly 23 year old spewing nonsense into the void.

Also, if you struggle and feel like you need help, please do the scary thing and reach out to somebody you trust and/or talk to a mental health professional.

And obviously this is not a complete list because I have come to the realization that at the pace I’m writing we’ll be old and grey by the time I’m done.

Anyways here we go …

I. Assorted things

a. First, it helps to acknowledge that imposter syndrome, the fraud police or however you want to call it is a thing. Once I identify that nagging little voice for what it is, I can call it out on its bullshit. Sometimes it just haunts me in the back of my mind and I actively formulate the negative thought out in an ‘Ah yes, I’m a lazy little shit, that will never be good enough. That what you wanted to tell me, brain? Well, you gotta come up with something new because I know this trick and it’s not true.’ fashion. It helps me to recognize the pattern, pull it out into the open and then reject it. It’s easier than having my head buzzing with negative fragmented ideas that can continue to fester until I can’t deal with them anymore.

b. Trust others. When a person says they like your work? Trust that they do. Don’t draw the conclusion they’ll be your über-fan and throw money at you or that they’re an art critic guru, but take them by their word. That person likes your work and that’s awesome! (Obviously my grandmother predicting me to become a great artist won’t mean it’s true, but I believe she means it.)Also, somebody hires you for a job and it’s super scary and you feel like your going to fail? Trust the person who has hired you. They’ve seen your portfolio, they pay you (make sure they do), they believe you can do it. They’re not stupid.

c. When you’re sitting in your pajamas surfing the internet, eating cereals with a fork trying to eat away your felt 3000 failed drawings (But you’re lazy, so really you only drew like 5 things, but they’re so bad the failure counts for more.) of the day it’s hard to believe you can ever be as pro as those glorious drawing machines on the internet with their polished websites and portfolios who make it look so easy.

Now imagine stumbling upon yourself on the internet. What do you see?Your latest cool artwork, your work ethic (even if you really just queue your posts cleverly) … And this is just your online presentation. Think about the artwork. You know your stuff. You see it all the time. You know all the frustrating bits and problem areas. You know what parts you’re just winging or obscuring by drawing decorative ornamental elements on them and pretend it’s your style. Other people don’t. (They might if you tell them. So try not to be too negative about your work.) Try to see your work with their eyes. Design a book cover mock up with your artwork (or whatever is applicable to the area you want to work in) and imagine it’s by somebody else and you just stumbled upon it in a book shop. You might realize it’s actually kind of okay …You might actually start to really like some of your works. (or all of it.)

d. Trust in the fact that drawing is a skill that is constantly developing. Even if you’re not at the level you need or want to be at, as long as you practice and keep at it you’ll eventually get there. It’s a process. It might be a really slow one. But there’s just one direction to go and you have time. You do. Even when other people your age (or younger) seem to have made it (whatever that means), it’s frustrating, alright. Have a cry, that’s ok. Get back to the drawing table. You’re on different paths. Stay off the internet for a while if comparisonitis gets too bad. There’ll always be people who are better than you. Focus on your work. (My drawing teacher’s advice on this was: Get inspired, not frustrated. Which is easier said than done.)

e. Learn a new skill that has nothing to do with your art, simply for the joy of learning it and then fail a lot. It’s a lot easier to learn being accepting of your mistakes and failures this way. It’s much easier to learn when nobody judges you (grades you. Makes you take tests.). I’ve started yoga and learning a new language last year and I am still bad at both, but whenever I mess up my vocabulary or can’t do a pose it’s … okay. Nothing bad happens. And it’s lots of fun. The failing. The times when things do work. It’s easier to realize a mistake isn’t the end of it all when you practice with something that doesn’t already come with all the old pressures and expectations.

f. Get your sleep. No screens before bed time, seriously. Those are an invitation for insomnia. Try to keep a regular sleep schedule. I sound so boring with my whole scheduling habit, but it helps a lot.

g. Find a way to release stress. Do something besides work. When I find it hard to allow myself to do non work related things I tell myself being good at what I’m doing or being successful early on doesn’t actually mean much when it means I’m burned out by 24 and dead by 27. It’s really hard to follow your passion when you constantly fantasize about running away to hide somewhere in a forest cave living only on dirt and roots until you eventually poison yourself or freeze to death.

What also helped me to stop feeling like I’m not working enough was using a timer so I could show myself by the end of the week how much I have gotten done.Also using a schedule. And sticking (at least roughly) to it.(Although it takes a lot of trial and error to figure out how to best put your schedule together. It’s important to be aware of how you’re feeling and to be able to make some changes to accommodate your needs. Don’t start out by assuming you’re always your best and most productive self. Are you doing something that will probably exhaust you? Factor that in. Figure out how much you can actually effectively work. Buffer days in case you have deadlines. You might get sick or have a bad art day. Time off for regeneration. Don’t do the ‘I work best under pressure a day before the deadline’ thing if you can help it.)

h. Realizing you got time and you don’t actually have to be a fully functional amazing, successful artist person by, like, tomorrow. You don’t. You take the time you need. You make sure you’re okay first. Figuring out what exactly is important to you and what you really want to be and do takes time. It takes going down the wrong path sometimes. I started out wanting to be a comic artist, but ended up doing creepy dark fantasy illustrations. Now I’m realizing that this is not everything I want to do. It’s a process and nothing you do is in vain, but things take time.

(–> Goal setting on the other hand is a great way to succeed at something, but you have to know what you want first. Of course you can set a goal and realize on the way that you have no interest in reaching it anymore. I guess then it depends on what your goal is whether you want to continue or change course. E.g. I’d finish that big project you’ve been working on for years, but maybe stop trying to get that job you actually don’t want anymore.)

In a similar vein … Learning to be patient with oneself. Patience is always good.

II. The future is scary and I don’t know what to do

a. Research first! The monster is way less scary when you can see it clearly. Only once you know how it looks like you can plan on how to slay it. (It might not even be a perfect plan, it just has to be good enough to make you feel like things might turn out okay.)Hit the internet, read a lot. Learn what you can. See how other people do it. Ask questions. Try to find out where your crowd hangs out. My personal advice is to be a bit careful with those 10 ways to be a successful artist articles depending on how in depth they are. I either find them not especially informative or they’re a great way for me to spend the rest of the day crying (even and especially when they’re supposed to be motivational. There’s so much motivational stuff out there that really just makes me feel super insecure.) because after reading them I’m pretty sure I don’t do any of those things and am a horrible person anyways. Articles dealing with matters in a more nuanced manner might often be more to read, but have been way more helpful to me.

Some resources that help(ed) me a lot (consider I’m mostly doing fantasy art, so it might not all be for you):

http://muddycolors.blogspot.deAmazing artists and art directors sharing insights. There’s a lot. Maybe matching this ask’s subject:

Arrogance & Doubt

How to get what you want

The secret to success in art

@dearartdirector here on tumblr. Make sure to check out their prior asks&answers before sending them your questions. There’s already a lot of important stuff in there.

Bobby Chiu’s Youtube Channel1FantasticWeek Podcast (& Facebook Group)Drawn&Drafted

Giuseppe Castellano’s Blog and #arttips on Twitter

For children’s books: find the hashtag #kidlitart on Twitter

Otherwise try to find blogs and podcasts about what you want to do.

III. Everything is too much and I can’t manage or think or …

a. Sometimes things just get too much and I put everything on hold and write through it. I think faster than I can write, so putting thoughts to paper slows me down. I also see the stuff in my head written out and it is easier to confront it and recognize what actually makes sense and what doesn’t. The process is obviously different every time, but basically I try to boil down what upsets me and then find ways to deal with it conversation style. (I usually even include the bits where I don’t know what to say and then write exactly that down.)For example I’ve written  myself through some phone call anxiety last year by listing what I am actually afraid of and why it makes me feel insecure and then writing down what I know to be actually true.

The last part looked somewhat like this: You’re safe. You’re sitting in your room on the floor and there is nobody around. Nothing can happen to you. You are physically safe.It is their job to help you. If you don’t know something, they will help you.  If they are mean it is not on you. They might have had a shitty day. Also, they don’t know you and their opinion on you has no influence on your life. They talk to a lot of people in a day and will probably forget you. You are not important enough to ruin somebody’s day. If they make fun of you at home it has no influence on your life.Just be as polite as you can be and you have nothing to feel bad about.

And so on.

Most negative thoughts are similar. e. g. ‘I’ll never achieve anything.’ vs writing down successes (as small as they might be): I’ve been able to feed myself for a week. I can speak a second language. I survived school. I’m keeping my rats alive. I know myself better today than I did last year.

When I feel like I’m dancing on too many parties and feel like I am constantly forgetting something or feel just vaguely haunted I try to figure out what the immediate issues that freak me out are. Being as specific as possible. Being as honest as possible. It’s not like anybody has to see what I’m writing. This is not just about art. It’s about everything, even and especially the petty little things. If you gather enough of those they can be crushing. Once they’re all written down I can decide which have priority and which I can put aside. The important part is to make a conscious decision (really, decision making. Sometimes stressing about making a decision is worse than making the wrong choice.). I don’t have to answer my friend’s Facebook message today, I can just tell them I’m currently stressed out and will get back to them at some later point. Or let them wait for a day or two. They’ll survive. I can simply say no to this or that thing. I can totally schedule this thing to next week and not think about it until then. (Actually write down when you’ll do it, though. Everything you write down you don’t have to keep juggling in your head.)

Then I write down possible solutions for what is still left. Afterwards I figure out which ones I can implement and which one’s I cannot (for whatever reason.). What can I do right now? (Starting with the easiest fixes. That might be doing the dishes that have piled up over time.) What can I schedule? I need to have plan of action* for every problem on my list. Sometimes it doesn’t mean I’ll solve it, but at least I’ll feel like I’ve done everything I currently feel capable of doing.

* Those may be suuuuper small steps. Or maybe even acknowledging it scares me, but accepting that it is something I cannot influence and therefore something that just goes into my calendar and out of my brain. It’s a lot about planning and scheduling for me.

b. I use a friend of mine and my  mum for reality checks sometimes when my brain gets stuck on something totally irrational and I need somebody to explain to me why I don’t make sense.

(I also use my friend when I’m not sure whether I’m interpreting a message or social situation correctly. Good to have a second opinion when your paranoid brain sees cryptic messages and overt criticism everywhere.)

c. When I feel I’m about to freak out and can’t sit down to write or think something through I have a book lying around that I can grab and read aloud until I calm down. I like Jack Kerouac for this because I don’t have to try and understand what is going on. It’s just a stream of pretty words and sound.

[thank-your-lucky-stars]

Robron fandom ramble

I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed with the Robron / Emmerdale fandom lately. It’s like I’m actually overwhelmed by how many talented people we have in this fandom (not necessarily in a bad way - it’s a good problem to have, really) - it’s like nothing I’ve ever really seen before.

My previous fandom was a lot smaller, and while there were many great people within it once upon a time, there weren’t many “voices”. There were probably only a handful of people who actually spoke about stuff (myself included), and everyone who did speak had pretty specific styles and voices and each of us seemed to have a role, which balanced things out. There was something for everyone, really, and the fact that there were so few of us who actually had things to say made it all so manageable, if that makes sense.

With this fandom it’s different. There are SO MANY people here, and so many who are just.....amazing. I don’t feel like there are any “big names”, or fandom “celebs” - I feel like there are too many amazingly talented people for those kinds of labels.

There are the people that make insane gifs and edits and artwork, there are the people that write beautiful fanfic and headcanons and meta and some wonderful freaks of nature who can do all of those things. There are those that theorise and can look back over episodes with such care and attention, there are those that speculate and are positive and level-headed and those who, even when having a total fangirl moment writing all in capital letters freaking the fuck out, can still write so wonderfully, can put a point across so beautifully, without even trying.

Whether it’s just a small text post with just one little paragraph (or even one sentence!) or a huge essay about Aaron or Robert or their relationship or the show in general, the level of talent displayed in this fandom literally blows my fucking mind.

It is a privilege to be a part of, but at the same time it makes me question my place here, it makes me feel like a drop in the ocean, it makes me a little insecure, because in my old fandom I was one of a few, my voice was loud because nobody was really shouting with me, but now I don’t really have a role, there are people far more talented than me, and sometimes I think of something to say but I see someone has said the same thing, albeit in a much briefer, purer, simpler yet wonderful way, or someone has said it with far more depth and beauty than I feel I could ever convey, and it makes me feel a little insignificant, which is hard when coming from a fandom where, for some time, I was considered quite significant.

And I know these are my own insecurities, my own paranoia, and it’s not a competition, and nobody has ever done anything to make me feel this way; if anything, people have been nothing but lovely, kind and encouraging towards me, people have been supportive or things I have written (actually, I have also been totally overwhelmed by how well-received some things I have written have been), and I feel like I’ve made some pretty great fandom-pals here, on all kinds of levels; I adore that one minute someone can be having a silly little “war” over a ship name, and the next they can be writing something serious and beautifully poetic, that we can all go from daft and fun and fangirly one minute to serious and mature essay-writers the next.

It’s amazing. I adore how versatile everyone is. I love how talented everyone is. Sometimes I can only sit back in awe, scroll through my dash and reblog the living crap out of all of these epic posts, whether they’re a funny little text/gif post or a mammoth essay about where a storyline is going, or a beautifully put together gif-set or an amazing piece of art.

Sometimes it actually BLOWS MY MIND. And as I said before, it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced in any fandom I have ever been in.

I was on the fringes of the Robron/Emmerdale fandom from the very start, as I’ve been on tumblr since 2010 (I DON’T KNOW HOW EITHER) and would search #Emmerdale now and then to see if there was anything (answer: there was always literally nothing until Robron was born). It took a while for me to properly throw myself into the fandom myself and use my own voice; for so long I was just a reblogger, who contributed nothing of my own (and there is nothing wrong with that, fans/fandom members like that are just as valid) - I’m someone who has never liked to spread myself too thin and at the time I was clinging to my old fandom and still trying to make an effort within that, even though it was dying and I wasn’t particularly happy there, but I’m loyal to a fault and it took me a while to let go.

And honestly, falling deeply into this fandom, just becoming brave enough to use my voice and say what I wanted to say about characters and a show I have loved for more than a decade, was the best thing I have done in recent years. At first I felt out of place; all the fans seemed really new (which I thought was amazing but also a little intimidating) and I was genuinely insecure that people wouldn’t like me because I’d been around the show long before Robron (in hindsight I could see that was totally stupid of me to think that, but paranoia/insecurity is a fun thing lmao) but I was amazed at how quickly people welcomed me and even reached out to me and made an effort with me - and how there were plenty of older fans, just like me, too.

And it’s been quite some time now since I’ve been in deep, and I feel like I know so many of you even though not all of us have spoken about too much outside of our amazing show and ship.

What I’m trying to say is, you’re all fucking amazing, and I appreciate every one of you. Whether you’ve been watching the show for 48248 years or 3 months, you’re fucking awesome.

I get overwhelmed because I want to follow everyone, but I’ve always been scared of following too many people and then missing stuff because my dash is too busy. I’ve been on tumblr almost 7 years and I still only follow 394 people (and tbh, I reckon at least a hundred of those are since the Robron fandom was born) - and yet every day it seems like a new name pops up, having written something amazing, and I’m like “where did you spring from?!”, and I have to give them a follow, and it’s like.....WOW.

I could tag a whole bunch of people who I find ridiculously amazingly talented but I’d be here all fucking day, and I couldn’t possibly list everyone, and then I’d feel bad for everyone who I’d missed so....I won’t.

So as arse-kissy as this post might sound, I just want to say a giant THANK YOU to everyone who contributes to this fandom, on any scale, in any capacity....thank you. And thank you to those that follow me too; it makes me feel genuinely proud and I know it’s something I really need to hang on to when I’m feeling down on myself. All your kind words mean more to me than I could ever properly express and I need to hold onto that forever because sometimes I really, really need it.

So.....there were are. Keep doing what you’re all doing. Know that even if I give your post a reblog without saying anything too profound in response, whether in a reply or a message or even a tag (writing stuff in tags on reblogs to someone’s post is so important!!), just know it’s because I’m probably just feeling overwhelmed by how fucking awesome I think you are.

I have no idea where this has come from really, apart from this is just how I’ve been feeling lately, but in a nutshell....I love you. I love all of you. Even if I haven’t agreed with everything you’ve said, I still probably love you. I respect all of you. I’m overwhelmed and intimidated by all of your talents. Thank you for being amazing. KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING. Keep this fandom the best fucking fandom I’ve ever been in. Keep spreading the love and the positivity and the excitement, because by god, the next month or so of life in this fandom is going to be WILD and I’m so happy to be here going on this ride with you.

As always with my long posts; if you get to the end, thank you. This only makes me love you all the more.

PEACE AND LOVE