#also you're not bugging me ever
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iguessitsjustme · 1 year ago
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I needed to come back. I'm feeling chatty. I understand your circumstances now and I can accept that maybe that's what's right for you. And you're right. No one wants to sit with high schoolers, even some of the high schoolers I suspect. ( that was me in high school in case you couldn't tell) But you see, eating for me is almost a religious experience. And even when I had to do it at work, it had to feel like a completely separate event so I could enjoy it. And migraines bring out the worst in me so I can relate to the whole snapping heads. You do realize that the whole secrecy always makes it sound like your work in for some secret organization right? It's makes you sound super cool. (and if you are indeed a secret agent, I won't tell) Anyways, I'll stop bugging you now. I hope no more migraines assault you this week. 🌻
Oooh yay I love chatting! You're welcome to come chat with my anytime. One thing about me is that I never shut up.
What kills me about the high schoolers is that I work in an office building. It just shares a space with a high school. So I'm in a high rise full of professional offices and the cafe is just..high school. It's an office cafe and yet. And my job involves talking to high schoolers on a daily basis so sitting at my desk weirdly gives me more of a break than eating in the cafe would lol.
I would also like to point out that I am constantly eating at my desk regardless of if I'm on lunch or not. I've lost count of the times that my manager has told me he appreciates my dedication to snacks. My coworkers constantly raid my snack bucket (and I encourage them to take the snacks so they aren't just stealing my snacks).
I don't work for some secret organization, but I don't like posting where I work online and if I told you what the weirdness from today, it would kind of be a give away. I also work with a lot of student information and there is actually some stuff that I can't say because of that. I don't mess around when it comes to PII and especially PII that I'm in charge of. I have sent some very pointed emails to colleges telling them that no, I can't just send student PII over email and they need to pick up the phone and call if they need that information. Also the amount of people that just send their ssns over email gives me such anxiety.
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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months ago
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ok soooo im like 5 episodes into dear brother and i need you guys to know how much i love rei so far if only for her staggering around like a rain-soaked stray dog just haggard and unseeing all the time. like we know very little about her thus far except that every scene she's in she steals the show by flopping and wilting all over the frame
#just like me fr perhaps#dear brother#oniisama e#idk what it is but shes so intriguing. mysterious shit-untogether lady#also i love everyone's beef so far like im completely hooked on the drama as camp as it usually is#like went OHH SHIT the second i found out the big three were on bad terms like ouhhh theyre fightinggg#and minako is profoundly real. the video essay that convinced me to watch this mentioned her encapsulation of quote#'every bpd feeling ive ever had' and as an outsider that seems right#school full of girls to study under a magnifying glass like bugs. girlbugs#this is an era of shojo im not very familiar with (ok ig all eras are like that but my knowledge of 70s shojo is like.#ok rose of vsailles over here and that tennis thing's over there and uh. yeah thats it)#and yeah ik the anime's from the 90s but it appears. to me. pretty married to more 70s aesthetics at least#ANYWAY kaoru ily we need a butch failgirl to shout these girls into line and shes balling too btw no way#and minako ily you're extremely real and a scene stealer and i need you to beat more girls up#nanoko im leering over your shoulder like a little shoulder devil bc i want you to be worse and im suspecting you're getting there#oh i forgot to say this part but i keep comparing it to utena#no one ive seen brings up db in their utena analyses as an influence so i have to wonder if 1) this is just more obscure#(if only for the western video essayists im watching) or 2) they share other common ancestry im not familiar with#once again i gotta watch rose of vrsailles for brserk reasons but also now bc of this#she's important she's influential etc etc#anyway yeah excited to get back to the mentally ill girl variety hour ✌️✌️#asuka rei#<- I FORGOT TO TAG IT WITH HER 😫😫😫
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thatonepikminperson · 3 months ago
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Questions to all my Pikmin fans out there, I am the only one who just pulls out one of the four (main) game's ost and just goes through the whole thing in one sitting? I've done it with the first game like three times this week and it's only Wednesday, why are the songs such BANGERS.
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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 9 months ago
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Ok everyone I have a very important question for you. No judgement I am genuinely just curious because this strikes me as so odd
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steakout-05 · 2 months ago
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i was so brave a couple days ago. there was a baby huntsman spider in my room and i totally didn't fumble trying to catch it 3 entire times while trying to lure it in and out of a box all while screaming and going "whAT THE FUCJ WHAT" whenever it moved even a little bit. in which the reason i was trying to catch it was because it randomly appeared on a box right next to my bed and i knew if i didn't catch it i wouldn't be able to sleep. nope. totally wasn't genuinely frightened by a tiny itty bitty little guy that could literally fit in the palm of my hand 15 times. whaaaat me? scared by a tiny little spider??? psh no wayyyyy man no way
(after i did this i was slightly shaken up and extremely worried there was another much bigger one in my bed and i felt like there were bugs crawling on me until i fell asleep)
#local australian man terrorised by very harmless tiny insectoid creature that is so small it would otherwise be almost unnoticeable#(ok tbf huntsman spiders aren't ''harmless'' per se but they wouldn't bite you unless you really provoked them to. still tho. harmless)#also the spider is ok :)#i captured him in a jar and put him outside and he has now burrowed himself in a potted plant <3#he's actually really adorable but the problem is that i am TERRIFIED of spiders so i was just like#switching from going ''hi little fella you're so cute can you please get in the jar''#to going 'wgAT THE FUCK HOLY SHIT'' every time he got scared and moved#this is the closest i have ever gotten to touching a huntsman spider ever#weirdest thing is that i think this spider was in my room before. like i found a baby spider a couple weeks ago and here it is again#i thought it just like. vanished and went somewhere else as spiders do but he was apparently in my room the whole time........#but yeah. i have like. the weirdest inner dilemma with spiders#cause like. i like spiders. but i'm also very scared of them. but they're cute. but they're also very visually distressing.#but they're helpful creatures to keep in your home. but they're also very sneaky and could jumpscare you on accident#and also i don't want to have a spider in my room because what if i don't know that it's there and it gets hurt.....#my room is so messy and i'm so clumsy that i'm afraid i'd hurt the poor thing unknowingly#i love spiders but i also have like 10 layers of fear keeping me from getting close to one#like that encounter was the closest i've gotten to a huntsman spider. apart from the bathroom jumpscare incident#spider#huntsman#huntsman spider#arachnophobia#also update: the big huntsman that was living in the kitchen is back.....#he's ok though he can stay there#he's a good bug catcher and i love him :)#he's very dusty and gangly and strange i love him very much#he scares me sometimes but he is my little buddy
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ttngummybear · 1 month ago
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The next time I go to try and ask for tech support from the revanced team, someone PLEASE just slap me so I don't do it.
#I don't know if I've ever encountered a meaner dev team for a thing I actually use#Revanced no longer works properly when patched on my phone. Made a reddit post describing such and asked what I should do#and the post got deleted#I posted it because I looked around in the sub and nobody else had posted anything about it recently#Turns out they're deleting ALL posts about this issue with no explanation or warning#Because an image they posted vaguely says 'post a bug report at this link if you're having issues with this patch'#But I didn't realize until after the drama of them nuking my post that that patch was even causing the issue#And I'm also not even welcome in their github because I requested a patch for tumblr and it pissed them off#So I can't do a bug report because I annoy them and they'll delete it#genuinely told the main dev to just ban me from the reddit if there's some kind of issue with me being there#I don't understand why they keep working on this project if people askkng for help pisses them off this bad#I wish there was an alternative. Clearly whatever flavor of what's wrong with me is infuriating to them#I did get it working btw#I had to disable the 'spoof video streams' patch in the revanced settings in the youtube app#But that means my videos could stop playing randomly (not far off from what was happening before; the videos were mostly buffering forever)#I just have to wait until a person who they don't hate comes along and reports it in a way that pleases them so it can get fixed#I won't be participating in debugging since me talking is an issue to them#Revanced#Vent
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agirlinthegalaxy · 2 months ago
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Something I see frequently is fans wanting characters like Elle Greenaway or Nathan Harris to return as unsubs in Criminal Minds, which. I'll be completely honest, I hate the idea for a lot of the suggested characters because it feels so undeniably tragic and hopeless that someone will inevitably become a killer, even if they don't want to become one. Yes, a lot of the unsubs have some kind of tragic backstory, but the thing is that they're still awful people (excluding very very few). I feel like having previous characters return as the unsub paints this picture that you're unable to break the cycle of violence or that you're destined to become a monster, which is just such a honestly tragic message, especially for a show that's already pretty dark.
I'm not opposed to characters reappearing, but I'd much prefer that if those characters appeared again that it'd be in the vein of them having undergone some kind of healing and growth and be able to find themselves some kind of peace and satisfaction in where they are in life. Let them reappear, but don't transform them into monsters but a symbol of the healing and growth available to survivors and the other characters.
#criminal minds#elle greenaway#nathan harris#don't get me wrong i get WHY ppl want it#like elle as an unsub would (admittedly in previous years when her teammates were still there) have been a v dramatic and interesting story#but at the same time... let her heal. she went through some really traumatic stuff and wasnt able to handle it and walked away#let her heal and find peace and leave behind the violence#or nathan harris! like that one admittedly always bugs me bc the idea that a kid who tried to kill himself rather than hurt someone#ends up ultimately becoming a killer anyways is genuinely so tragic and devasting and just hopeless#i just feel like a lot of these perpetuates the idea that you can't break the cycle of abuse or violence#or that you're unable to overcome the difficulties in your life or mind and your fate is sealed#which is genuinely the most fucking tragic ass theme that i've ever heard#like is that really what people want the show's message to be?#no matter how hard you try you will inevitably become what you fear and/or you will perpetuate the violence you experienced#i HATE that message#its why i really dislike how multiple characters reappear later as unsubs especially characters like lindsey vaughn and david smith#like what is the implication here? you're destined to continue the cycle of violence that your parents began?#you'll never be free from the violence you witnessed? you were just a child but your fate has been sealed anyways?#especially with so many of our mcs as well having dealt with serious trauma in their past#are they also destined to become their parents/abusers?#it just feels like a v hopeless message tbh which doesnt feel great when the show is already pretty dark#instead of characters coming back as unsubs i'd love to see them be able to help as teachers or guidance counselors or therapists#or anything really tbh like. show me that they're able to find peace despite what was done to them.#show me that while the trauma may be a part of you it is not all you are
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visdiefje · 1 year ago
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Sorry for my repeated freaked out apartmentposting. It will happen again
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agnesandhilda · 1 year ago
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dollya irritates me lol
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chickadee-chariot · 2 years ago
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Self congratulatory man in YouTube comments section asserts that "all humor comes from making fun of other races and genders." He styles his verbiage with an aura of geniality and ease, using familiar terms of address for complete strangers who disagree with him.
Those who have the gall to not only disagree, but to do so with perceptible indignation (or--heaven forbid--vexation!) are certain to be deemed far too irrational to hold meaningful conversation. Not to mention, the unspeakable rudeness of not adhering to the tone he has set for this interaction. That is, the proud proclamation of how little affected he is by what he considers humorous.
He wears his self-proclaimed "thick skin" like a badge of honor. He either does not know or does not let slip the fact that his skin is as thick as his understanding of humor is deep. His percieved great invulnerability is brought about not by any virtue of his own, but by his position on the metaphorical field of battle. He stands on a hill from which endless spears and boulders rain down. Below him, people wail as they pull each other free from bone-crushing rock. He bristles at their cries, as they interrupt his afternoon ruminations. A pebble, shaken free by the chaos, lands on his foot and he smiles at how his skin remains unbroken. Below him, red banners fly, still wet, drops whipping from their edges to land on his cheek. This is upsetting to him, he is not thinking of how to save any of them, he is thinking only of how to stop the noise.
The great secret, of course, is that he is already dead. He is a ghost, turning envious eyes on the people below, who have the audacity to bleed. He paces his island between rows of the dead, his hand itching for a stone.
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krysmcscience · 5 months ago
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It feels like every single neurotypical I've ever met grew up hearing the same phrases that I and basically every other kid did - "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" and "Lying is bad and you shouldn't do it or you're a horrible person" - only instead of taking both lessons to heart and incorporating those lessons into how they interact with other people on a daily basis, they all somehow came out the other end believing "I can't say something nice to this person without lying, so that means lying actually ISN'T bad and it DOESN'T make me a horrible person :)"
And yet, paradoxically, it makes ME the horrible person for taking all the things they tell me at face value???
Make it make sense, people.
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whereisthedamndaddymanual · 2 months ago
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All, der real
Me: they sure are perfect...damn
****HugeP***Hugo*****Hugo now ok**
This message has been brought to you by NASA.
"Take your girth from the Seventh Seal"
#overlaying the Hun's yellow pages with gemini is a rather funny way of doing things#I really can't say how many sisters I bring to see myself young#I went to that place a bunch with mom and grandpa#that would be kinda funny though#yeah....so our dad kinda fucking sucks as a person and you're better off not having him around to have access to you#the weird counter balances of people and dog names in that place#I don't know where Merlin is at#maybe it the guy that Arthur likes to visit on the quest to keep the network cooling#perhaps we could transfer the Abraham's ailments to be done with the dog of a resurrection#I love my burrito so fucking much#he is like some grounded if not irritated and(horny A LOT) version of myself#gotta say though#I never needed to masturbate#I was built for Vagina pleasing a second kind of hand#xtra large marriage = Mormons#like yes you made enough of an impact on me my goodness#me talking to you both before you go serve me (*nice*) in 1983#ladies you have practiced for this your entire smoke filled lives#this is the most important fag you will ever smoke#also: weapon: lets fuck with Alex....me: no life does that enough#a double doggy bagger#yoga on the knees back to back#takes huge rip: damn you are some bad bitches....licks one vagina and rubs the other#that tension for a bug fucking hug from you..... shit#me looking back: you wore your hair in a ponytail but made sure it looked curly#my words: are you dancing still....why? mm mm mm that body.... fuck#Also I called you over right and then you kinda look down and then oh shit this is what happens when we lock eyes
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vampiricgf · 5 months ago
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☆ FAVORITE GIRL
ᝰ you think he's just another frat boy with meaningless flirty words for the person he sits next to in a boring class (he's down horrendous)
frat boy satoru x f!reader, college au, somewhat established relationship you guys are classmates, sfw no smut, alcohol consumption, cigarette smoking, just lots of him being an idiot with a massive huge earth shattering crush <3
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"And how's my favorite girl?"
"Worse, thought you'd skip this class again and we'd have some peace." You roll your eyes as you slide the straps of your backpack over the back of your chair.
Satoru Gojo, nuance Sig Ep and unfortunately glued to your side since the first day of statistics for reasons unknown to you. You'd made an effort to avoid members of greek life on campus, not wanting to get involved in party culture or whatever new dramatics were unfolding with its subgroups. That only seemed to encourage him though, casually throwing his arm around you through the duration of lectures and begging in that whining tone of his for you to come by the house.
You never did, you also pointedly ignored most of his text messages and actively regretted ever having to give him your phone number after the one assignment you'd been paired up for. Outside the occasional drunk text where he'd plead for you to show up, which did make you feel both bad for ignoring him and a little high off the attention. Not that you'd ever admit to clicking your phone lock and grinning to yourself in bed on those nights.
"C'mon, I'm the highlight of your day!" He shoots you that signature megawatt smile and you stick out your tongue at him, scooting your chair in the opposite direction and creating a wide gap as you sit down.
You see him frown and for a half second it looks genuine, making a pang of guilt reverberate through you so you scoot back to where you were and he resumes pestering you with some latest escapade in the Eps house as you both wait for the stream of students to peter off and the lecture to begin.
"Hey so, why you been ignoring my texts?" He pulls a pout and god you wish it wasn't actually cute.
"You send me weird combinations of emojis Gojo, what can I say to that?"
"It's Satoru," he quips almost immediately, barely allowing you to finish.
"Alright, Satoru, it's because you send me weirdo shit. Say hi every once in a while and maybe I'll say it back." You shrug, opening your laptop and preparing yourself to block out his incessant whispering for the next hour while you take down notes.
~
"You actually came!"
The sheer volume in the cramped, would-be living room of the house made you wince in tandem with his shout as Satoru threw an arm around you.
"I'm just humoring you so you stop bugging me!" You shout back, accepting a cup of god knows what from his hands and already formulating a plan of when it would be polite to bow out for the night without a barrage of where'd you go texts.
He doesn't answer you, too busy immediately yelling at some other guy over the volume of the music but you don't miss the way his hand slides down your back to settle at the lower curve, just above your ass. It makes you smile a little, despite your own misgivings about the scene you're in.
But quickly it becomes too much, being jostled by a permanently sweaty and horny crowd in such a cramped space, and you find yourself drifting outside to a patio sparsely populated with only a handful of smokers. The alcohol buzzing inside your brain makes you crave one, a thick, acrid stream of smoke spreading like thick flower petals blossoming inside your lungs.
One girl catches your eye and slowly you meander over to where she's perched, away from the rest on a railing that's seen one too many coats of poor paint jobs.
"Could I bum one off you?"
"You got a dollar?"
Lamely you pat your hips, absentmindedly searching for one until she lets out a soft laugh and extends the pack in her hand out to you. Marlboro lights, the gold top of it shimmers faintly in the dim light as you slide one out and accept the lighter she passes you.
"I tell myself lights mean I'm working on quitting. What a load of shit." She huffs out a laugh to herself as you flick the lighter and it gives a few sparky coughs before the flame catches, burning the tip of the cigarette into a solid ember cherry.
"I'm Ieiri," she says cordially as you hand back the deep purple lighter.
You give her your name before taking a deep drag of the cigarette, enjoying the feeling of it settling in your chest.
"They should invent a kind of cigarette that doesn't kill you." You say absentmindedly and she cracks a smile.
"Too bad the "healthy " cigarettes of ye old days had asbestos in them."
That makes you laugh, enjoying the way it flows into the air with the breeze that plays against your skin, like a lover running fingers over it and giving you gooseflesh.
"Wait, you're the girl Satorus got statistics with right? Tuesdays and Thursdays?" She asks between puffs, flicking ash off into the dark.
"Yeah, the very same. I figured I should finally take him up on the offer to come over, I've blown him off so many times." Saying out loud makes you feel a little like an ass, he may get on your nerves but he's never been anything but sweet to you.
"You know he's like, obsessed with you, right?" She says with another laugh and it makes you raise a brow.
"Oh yeah?"
She shakes her head, another drag before continuing. "Oh yeah. Gets too drunk every weekend and cries in the bathroom because you didn't show, has a crisis every day because he doesn't know what to say to you in texts. I've never seen him excited about a math course before this semester either, usually it's any excuse to cut class until a prof bitches at him."
With every word a strange sense of giddiness grows in tandem with the alcohol drenching your brain, and you can't help but think about those devastating blue eyes. The opposite of rose colored glasses but it fits, a shade of comfortable blue that tints the world because of him and suddenly you're gripped by the urgent need to go back inside and find him.
"Hey, thanks for the cigarette but I'm gonna go find him. See you inside?" You crush the butt out with the toe of your shoe, grinding it down and giving Ieiri a wave goodbye as the wall of thumping bass and neon light swallows you back up.
It strikes you as incredible how a house can turn into a labyrinth when filled to the brim with bodies and only offering the occasional flash of strobe or neon lights to guide you in the dark. After when feels like hours and checking nearly every room you come across for Satoru, without luck, you find Ierie once again leaning against a closed door with a particularly bored expression.
"Satoru she wasn't saying she was leaving she said she was coming to find you, dummy. Open the door."
As you sidled up beside her she shot you a conspiratorial glance before pulling you closer so you could hear her over the din.
"Can you tell him you're right here? He's such a whiny drunk." She rolls her eyes but you can tell it's playful, although you get the feeling this has happened more than once.
Hesitantly you put your palm against the door, feeling the distant bass thrumming through the wood. "Hey Satoru? I didn't leave, I'm right out here with Ierie!"
There's silence on the other side, making you frown in concern until the door is suddenly wrenched open and you nearly fall right against him. Despite clearly being drunk his hands come to grasp your upper arms gently to steady you before yanking you inside the hazy dark of what you assume was his bedroom.
"You're welcome!" You hear Shoko yell through the door as he sits down in a huff, still holding onto you, against a well worn futon.
You can't help but giggle at the way he almost curls around you, as if determined to attach to your side like some sort of sucker fish. With a bit of wiggling you manage to pull back, sweeping a few stray strands of hair from those baby blues as you do.
It's in that moment, when your fingertips brush his skin, that everything seems to pause. The noise outside seemingly vanishes, and it's like only the two of you exist in a comfortable bubble of silence. You never really noticed how his eyes looked almost crystalline before, too pretty to exist.
"Who gave you eyes like that?" You murmur, more to yourself but nevertheless he beams down at you.
"So you do like me, huh?"
The way he says it, so boyish, so... happy. You can't help but smile back, a shy thing that barely tugs at the corners of your lips.
"Duh, of course I do."
That makes him frown a bit, brows knitting in thought and somehow it made him look even cuter. No fair.
"Then how come you never showed up before? And you don't text me back?" A little pout forms on his lips as he finishes and you're struck with the overwhelming urge to kiss him.
With a superhuman effort you keep yourself focused on answering him. "You're, well... All this," you gesture broadly with your hands as you pull away slightly. "And I'm just a girl you have stats with. I thought maybe you were just yanking me around, being flirty in class but that's it, you know? I didn't wanna look stupid getting my hopes up."
"A girl I have stats with? You're joking, right? You're everything." He says incredulously, eyes wide as if more shocked than insulted that you could've looked at the situation that way.
Heat rushes beneath your skin at that, you're everything, and you know it's not the alcohol making you lightheaded. In your silence he continues.
"Y'know I'm not just messing around with you, I think about you all the time. Sometimes you're all I think about all day-"
With a surge of confidence you grab him by the front of his shirt, pulling him down and cutting him off with your lips pressed against his. It grips you like a fever, a crushing need to taste him. It's all sloppy teeth and tongues and spit but it feels perfectly serendipitous at the same time, an otherworldly calm that takes hold of your mind as your lips move against one another.
As you open your eyes into his you can't help the grin that now stretches wide across your mouth, giggling as you press kiss after kiss against his lips, his cheeks, his forehead and soon enough he's dissolved into a puddle of giggles and faux pouts in your arms.
"Will you tell me I'm your favorite girl again?"
"I'll tell you that forever."
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goldenspirits · 2 years ago
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Why would you make something like this up
Fun fact: We know the size of the Pokémon world because Scarlet and Violet has framerate issues
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astonmartinii · 8 months ago
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a case of the cuddle bug | logan sargent social media au
pairing: logan sargent x fem!piastri!reader
someone check his temperature, he's got a serious case of the cuddle bug
author's note: thought we could all use some logan content to get us through the weekend
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargent and 201,445 others
tagged: logansargent
yourusername: he's not racing :( more time to cuddle :)
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user1: if i find out that that t-shirt was made by them i may need to be shot in the head
yourusername: sorry to be the bearer of bad news 😕
user2: y/n where do we find a logan?
yourusername: date your brother's best friend - the romance books did NOT lie
logansargent: hard to be too sad when you're around
yourusername: awwwww logie bear 🐻 i love youuuuu
logansargent: i love you too come back to the motorhome the hospitality coffee is not worth it
yourusername: not even if i swipe you a cupcake?
logansargent: okay..... maybe ....
alexalbon: i'm sorry buddy, i promise i'll do us proud
yourusername: yOU BETTER 👹
alexalbon: i'm soRRY are you like a gremlin? did someone spill some water?
yourusername: i'm gonna ignore most of that cause gizmo is cute
logansargent: she loves you really alex
alexalbon: do you still love me logie?
logansargent: yes?
alexalbon: I' SORRY I HAVE.A GUILTY CONSCIENCE I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE BEING MAD AT ME
user3: lol mood ^
oscarpiastri: you could support your BELOVED BROTHER NOW (AT HIS (OUR) HOME RACE)
yourusername: ugh i guess
oscarpiastri: you literally said you'd support me any time logan wasn't racing :(
yourusername: unless he can come with me, we'll be supporting you from the williams garage
oscarpiastri: better than nothing i guess
logansargent
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tagged: yourusername
logansargent: no way around it, this weekend has been the hardest of my career. however, i'm thankful for alex for picking up a couple points for the team and for having y/n with me to support me this weekend, enjoy the cute picture of her (but not too much)
also i guess congrats to oscar on a podium at his home race 🤷🏻‍♂️
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user4: hardest weekend ever... here's a pic of my. hot gf :)))))
user5: he's real for that, just reminding us that he's still winning off track
alexalbon: thank you isn't enough logie, love you man, can't wait to see you back in the car next week x
yourusername: you're so lucky you got points otherwise your ass would've been grass xoxo
alexalbon: Y/N I SAID I WAS SORRY PLEASE STOP BEING MEAN YOU'RE MEANT TO BE THE NICE PIASTRI
oscarpiastri: you stole my soon-to-be brother-in-law's car and called me a shit padel player 🖕🏻
alexalbon: why is everyone ganging up on me :(
logansargent: you gotta take it for at least this weekend bro
alexalbon: i guess...
user6: they're so cute, but who is taking these photos of them?
yourusername: oscar makes himself useful sometimes
oscarpiastri: ugh i get NO CREDIT IN THIS FAMILY
logansargent: i at least appreciate it oscar 🫶🏻
oscarpiastri: that's all well and good and i love you, you're my bff but sometimes i don't want to see you be lovely dovey with that hellspawn
fredvesti: let it be known i will no longer be sneaking out with you guys for ice cream on a race weekend, the risk was not worth the third wheeling
logansargent: i paid?
fredvesti: thank the lord you did otherwise i'd raise an official complaint
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oscarpiastri
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liked by landonorris, alexalbon and 793,209 others
tagged: logansargent & yourusername
oscarpiastri: got a podium at my home race and i'm still not my sister's favourite
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user8: have we considered that y/n and logan have attachment issues?
oscarpiastri: she sat at the window like a woman waiting for her husband at war when he DARED to go home for christmas when we were 16
yourusername: as if you haven't cried over lily 🙄
oscarpiastri: i ACTUALLY don't get to see her very often, i can't separate you and logan
yourusername: LEAVE ME BE
user9: oscar says this as if y/n wasn't crying her eyes out at the podium
user10: and logan wiping her tears to prevent smudging her eyeliner - sigh
logansargent: don't hate the player hate the game
oscarpiastri: what happened to blood being thicker than water
yourusername: you know what else is thicker than water ... 😩😩😩
oscarpiastri: okay you can sTOP RIGHT THERE
landonorris: they're really one being huh?
oscarpiastri: believe me the dinner at mine? they were being TAME
yourusername: okay for the audience we are not that bad, we're just affectionate we aren't like making out in front of everyone
landonorris: .... shame
oscarpiastri: yOU HAVE SHAME THAT'S MY SISTER
logansargent: THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND
yourusername: AND THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND
landonorris: damn tough crowd
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargent and 212,934 others
tagged: logansargent
yourusername: a wee break before my boy is back to knock your socks off
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user11: they're so cute your honour
alexalbon: dating a racing driver and not wearing a seat belt? interesting.
yourusername: dating a professional golfer and still shit at golf? interesting.
lilymunhe: she did get you there alex, soz.
yourusername: also we weren't even driving, that hair acting is all a fan
logansargent: practically a professional photographer now (the model definitely helps, she looks perfect doing anything)
yourusername: hehehheheheheheheheheheheeh
user12: y/n really just gagging alex at every corner
user13: she saw logan wasn't holding a grudge and decided to double down on hers
user14: and we respect that
logansargent: you knock my socks off everyday babe
yourusername: as long as it's only me 😘
logansargent: i've been in love with you since i was 13 👍🏻
yourusername: SNAP🫰
oscarpiastri: once again left out of the photodump
yourusername: you are not 'my boy' that would in fact be inappropraite
oscarpiastri: you couldn't just change the caption?
yourusername: you're not cute enough to be a lannister (cersei and jaime call me)
logansargent: ????
yourusername: *call us 😉
logansargent
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liked by lilymunhe, alexalbon and 592,309 others
tagged: yourusername
logansargent: glad to be back in the car this weekend, though if alex could stop terrorising y/n that would be great
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user15: were oscar and y/n's parents in the williams garage?
user16: so oscar wasn't lying about him basically being family already 🥹
alexalbon: i was not TERRORISNG I WAS ENGAGING IN SIBLING LIKE BANTER
oscarpiastri: hold on buster, that's MY sister 🤨
alexalbon: i can't win with any of you three 😭
yourusername: LET'S FUCKING GO EAGLE BOY GOD BLESS AMERICA 🦅🇺🇸
logansargent: i'll let you have this one for once
yourusername: as an aussie that was very hard to say, please appreciate it
logansargent: thank you my little kangaroo?
yourusername: kinda offensive they're scary
logansargent: koala?
yourusername: YOU SAYING I HAVE CHLAMYDIA?
logansargent: well i've ran out of australian animals now :(
user17: thanks for the violent reminder of chlamydia being rife in koalas :(
oscarpiastri: gonna have to beat you this weekend to win back my parents' favour it seems
yourusername: let's be real, they prefer logan over both of us :(
oscarpiastri: true 😔
logansargent: i can't help the southern charm
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williamsf1
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liked by yourusername, alexalbon and 1,034,672 others
tagged: logansargent
williamsf1: LOGAN POINTS, I REPEAT LOGAN POINTS 😤
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user20: TRUST HIM, I REPEAT TRUST HIM
yourusername: THAT'S MY BOY LET'S FUCKING GO
oscarpiastri: you never get this excited for me?
yourusername: FUCK OFF THIS IS NOT YOUR TURN, IT'S LOGAN'S DAY
maxverstappen1: pretty sure i won the race
yourusername: FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU
user21: y/n crying her eyes out she's so real
user22: based on the faces in the garage i think she may have let everything out lol
user23: as she should
user24: can't expect two people to be attached 24/7 and not be ride or die for each other
logansargent: thanks for the support, glad to pick up some points for the team
yourusername: I'M SO PROUD OF YOU
logansargent: i know you've shouted it in my face since i got back from media
yourusername: you need to know it :(
logansargent: i love you so much
yourusername: i love you even more
user25: the whole piastri family going wild in LOGAN'S garage was not on my 2024 bingo sheet
user26: but it was cute as fuck
yourusername
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tagged: logansargent
yourusername: we're down bad with a case of the cuddle bug
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user27: the CUDDLE BUG?
user28: i need to be taken out of my misery
logansargent: i've got a high fever, a love fever
oscarpiastri: THAT WAS CORNY AS FUCK
yourusername: i thought it was cute :(
logansargent: and that's what matters
yourusername: exactlyyyyy
oscarpiastri: so fuck me, right?
yourusername: yes!
logansargent: yes!
user29: this whole interaction makes it so obvious oscar was the only boy growing up LOL
alexalbon: i'll concede, you guys are cute
yourusername: we been known
logansargent: no one does it like us
alexalbon: erm alex and lily erasure?
yourusername: lily cute, you not so much
alexalbon: stop being SO PROTECTIVE WHY ARE YOU A GOLDEN RETRIEVER WITH EVERYONE ELSE AND A RABID JACK RUSSELL WITH ME IT WAS JAMES' DECISION GO FOR JAMES' ANKLES
williamsf1: ???
yourusername: i thought it was friendly sibling banter (also james is logie's boss of course i'm not gonna go for his ankles dummy)
logansargent: she's my little guard dog 🫶🏻
yourusername: anything for you, come back to cuddle :(
logansargent: on my way cuddle bug!
fin.
note: i understand why williams made the decision they did, but i've had such a soft spot for logan since he admitted he's lonely in the paddock :( i hope he has a good next race to really prove himself to everyone xx hope you enjoyed! xx
3K notes · View notes
pogueprincess · 5 months ago
Text
Watermelon Sugar
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summary: Family brunches are boring, Aegon makes them more fun.
pairing: Modern!Aegon Targaryen x Niece!Reader
word count: 1.9k
warnings: Explicit smut, alcohol consumption, incest in a modern setting (whoops), fingering, p in v sex, semi-public sex 18+ MDNI
note: This is a repost …. Feedback is appreciated!
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The warm sun illuminated your skin as you reluctantly made your way over to your seat for brunch. Viserys had planned it — his own feeble attempt to bring your fractured family together, even if it was only for a brief moment. For the most part, it worked. Everyone tried to behave themselves, though gatherings like this usually ended in a confrontation of some sort.
Before you even arrived at your seat, you felt a hand wrap around your waist, tugging at the hem of your sundress.
"Whew! Who are you all dressed up for?"
Aegon asked as you batted his hand away, shooting him a look of disapproval.
There was an unspoken thing between the two of you, everybody knew it. However, you didn't need him pawing at your waist in front of the entire family.
"Charming as ever I see."
He flashed a grin at you in response; that boyish smile of his made you weak in the knees.
"Here," he handed you the mimosa that was in his hand, "you're going to need it," he whispered before making his way back to his own seat.
You kept your eye locked on him as he retreated to his designated spot. Noting that Aemond was muttering something to him as he sat down.
"What?" he retorted, "I can't say hi to our niece?" Turns out, Aemond wasn't the only one annoyed with Aegon's show of affection.
"You'd think he would know better than to encourage you to drink at this hour," your brother admonished you, nodding his head toward Aegon in annoyance.
"It's brunch, Jace," you say before taking a large sip of the mimosa, "live a little."
"Right. Because Aegon needs an excuse to drink at noon."
"Please," you pleaded, "don't start."
"I'm not," he huffed, before shoveling a forkful of eggs in his mouth, "I'm just saying."
Thankfully your brother's comments ended there and so far everything was going well. Lucerys was sat next to Daeron — as far away from Aemond as possible, which was key to any family event running smoothly. The two young boys were talking loudly about a video game. Your mother and Alicent were giggling amongst themselves, talking so low you couldn't decipher what they were saying. Aemond sat stoically in his seat, occasionally stealing a glance at Helaena, who was tapping aimlessly at her phone, playing some sort of trivia game that you could only assume had something to do with bugs.
Every so often Aemond would glare at you, and then at Aegon who was now three mimosas deep.
If you could make it through brunch peacefully, you would find yourself back at the keep with your family later that evening. And if you played your cards right, you'd get your claws into Aegon.
It didn't take long for you to figure out that family gatherings such as these served to be rather boring when there was no fighting involved.
Staring down at the plate of fruit in front of you, an idea popped into your head. Maybe you could make your own fun.
You plucked a piece of watermelon from the plate and took a small bite, allowing the juice to run down your chin onto your chest. Rubbing your thumb along your bottom lip, swirling the juice in a fake attempt to clean yourself up. Innocently glancing over at Aegon through your lashes. His eyes were fixated on your breasts, flicking them up to make direct eye contact as you began to suck on the fruit. His lips parted in anticipation as suck on the fruit.
But, Aegon wasn't the only one watching, Aemond's eye was also locked on you. He was hard to read, but he looked disappointed by your actions. Feeling heated and a bit flustered you decide to go freshen yourself up.
"If you would excuse me, I’m going to go to the restroom," you announced to the table before making a beeline to the other side of the restaurant.
As you went to shut the door behind you, a hand shot through and Aegon made his way into the small space with you.
"What are you doing?!" You hiss.
"What am I doing?! What are you doing?" He spun you around and wrapped his arms around you tightly, pressing his bulge against your backside.
"What are you doing? Huh?" He repeated as he inhaled the sweet scent of your hair. A mixture of apple from your shampoo, and vanilla from your perfume.
"Gods, you're going to be the death of me," he groaned in your ear.
"This dress," he rasped, releasing his grasp on you to tug at the hem of it, "that little show you put on out there." His large hand came down and smacked your ass harshly, causing you to yelp.
Aegon wasted no time and lifted you up onto the marble counter with quickness, kissing you deeply.
Against your will, a moan escaped your lips.
Aegon took this as an okay to continue. Snaking his tongue into your mouth, pushing your legs apart so he could settle in between them.
He tasted so good — remnants of orange juice, champagne and a subtle hint of tobacco filled your senses. His hands dug into your thighs with such force, you were sure his rings were going to leave marks, but you didn't care. He nipped at your your neck and kissed down your chest, licking the sticky remnants of the watermelon juice from the valley of your breasts.
Once he made his way further down, he began to began to take his time. Lifting your dress slowly, the pads of his fingers ghosting your thighs. The anticipation was killing you.
"Mmm, Aeg. Please," you whined.
He chuckled at you and lifted your dress up, bunching it around your hips to reveal your underwear. He took a minute to admire the damp spot that was forming in the center, and you felt a slight blush form across your cheeks. His thick fingers finally made contact with your pussy, rubbing them against the thin, lacy, material of your panties. He looped his fingers through the sides and quickly ripped them down your legs, exposing you to the cool air. He took no time to slide his fingers through your folds, gathering your slick.
"Oh look at you," he purred appreciatively, "so naughty, baby."
A loud moan erupted from your chest as he used his index finger to slowly trace around the opening of your cunt, each swipe had you silently begging he would slip it inside.
That devilish grin of his flashed across his face once more as he looked up at you.
"Don't get desperate on me now. l've barely even touched you. Gotta keep quiet, huh baby?"
A simple nod in response was all you were able to give him.
"Good girl" he drawled as he pushed his finger into you.
"Fuck, Aeg. Feels s'good," you whispered.
His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he began to move his hand faster, adding a second finger in. The pleasure was so overwhelming you forgot where you were. In a cramped, unisex bathroom, with your entire family seated at a table not too far away from the door.
All you cared about was that you wanted more, no, needed more. You squirmed against him, trying to get his fingers deeper into you.
He took the hint and obliged. Pressing them harder into you, pumping in and out with vigor.
He used the calloused pad of his thumb to push violently against your clit. He reached the spongy spot within your walls and pressed firmly into it, his free hand pushing down on your stomach as he continued to thrust his fingers. Occasionally scissoring them, stretching you out even more. It soon became too much for you. You felt your stomach drop and your walls tighten as your cunt squeezed around his digits.
"Thereee she is," he sing-songed. That's it, good girl."
He continued to fuck you with his fingers through your orgasm. Your ears rang, your vision blurred and white-hot electricity pumped through your veins. When he finally removed his fingers from your pussy he brought them up to your mouth, watching with bright eyes as you sucked your release off them, pushing them down your throat causing you to gag a little.
Releasing his fingers from your mouth you shimmied off the bathroom counter, fumbling to unbuckle Aegon's pants.
"Uh uh, baby. We will have time for me later. We have brunch to get back to.
As eager to please you as he was, Aegon was not one to usually turn down his own pleasure. You were unsure if he was being serious, or if he just wanted to hear you beg for it.
"Aeg, please."
He didn't need anymore convincing.
"Put your hands on the counter," he demanded as he spun you around. Unbuckling his belt, sliding his jeans and boxers down his legs with quickness; allowing his already hard cock to spring free and slap against his stomach. Lifting your leg before shoving himself between your folds. You groaned and tried to push yourself closer to him. He let out a laugh and smacked your ass, causing you to jolt forward.
"Be still," he growled.
You nodded your head eagerly, the palms of your hands resting against the cold marble. He filled you to the hilt with one single thrust, spearing you open.
As he began to move in and out of you, his hands tugged at your hips. "Oh, fuck!" you mewled loudly before his palm slapped over your mouth to keep you quiet.
He leaned over you, panting with his breath hot on your ear.
"What would Jace think," he whispered, venom in in his voice, "knowing that his precious little sister is a whore for my cock, huh?" You bit down your lip and squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to cum for a second time from his lewd words.
"Or Aemond?" he taunted, "our prim and perfect niece bent over for me like a dirty little slut."
Agon bit down hard on your shoulder, his teeth grazing your skin, causing you to moan and arch your back, meeting his thrusts. He makes direct eye contact with you in the mirror as he continued to pound into you.
"Oh, you like that, huh? You like being my dirty little slut?" You nodded your head feverently, the walls of your cunt contracting, sucking him in.
"You gonna cum again for me baby? Gonna make a mess on my cock?"
"Fuck, yes. I'm gonna cum! Aegon, please, please make me cum."
Your nails dug into the counter as he fucked into you, the head of his cock pressed against your sweet spot with precision. He reached up, grabbing your breast, pinching your nipple roughly, pushing you over the edge one final time.
Your second orgasm washed over you with such intensity, it was almost painful. Your cunt squeezed around Aegon's cock, threatening to pull his own release from him.
"Shhh, that's it, there you go," he cooed. With a few more harsh thrusts against your cervix, his cock twitched inside you, pearly ropes of him coating your walls.
You could feel his heart beating through his chest, as his breathing slowed down. He kissed your neck and nuzzled his head inyour hair before quickly pulling out of you, immediately pulling his pants back up.
"Holy fuck," you breathed as he handed you back your underwear.
Whatever train of thought you had was interrupted by a knock.
"We're leaving! And you guys are assholes!”
Aemond's voice called from the other side of the door.
The two of you burst out laughing before making your way out of the bathroom.
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