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sgt-scottymoreau · 10 months ago

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Alliances - Part 1

Summary: They all say there's a begining to everything. They also say that when the opportunity present itself, you should take it. After a terrorist slip throw her hands, she found herself need of foreign help. Call it faith or dumb luck, but this is how Scotty would describe how she got to meet the 141.

Warning: None, probably lot of military innacuracy and other things like that, but we are here for the fun not the realism :P

Word: 4.8k // Part 2 // AO3 // Masterlist

A/N: This will be a two part because no way I'm post 11k fic in one post here lol But the A03 version is the full fic no cut.

The final dot on her report was written and she let out a sigh of relief. This was so much more work than she expected to be, but at least now Scotty could plead her case. She had worked too hard in the last few weeks to compile all the intel needed and was so close on catching this one man terrorist operation. Technically, she almost had her hands on him, if he hadn’t detonated a bomb in the port that caused enough distraction for him to flee. She should have seen this outcome coming and prevented it, however at the time her intel had no information on this. Obviously because most of this operation was not meant to be known to the public, a cover up story had to be made after the event. Her superior didn’t blame her, still he was not very proud of this mess up. She wasn’t either. The only thing that made her sleep at peace, was that no civilians had been injured or killed in this explosion. She then spent the last two days reviewing all that she had, trying to make connections with all the pieces, even if some were a little far fetched. Now, with all that she had gathered, Scotty could help her case to demand authority to pursue in a country they normally didn’t not intervene.

Confident, Scotty headed to her commander’s office to plead her case. The so-called terrorist, Hans Lambert, had fled to the United Kingdom with the help of outside allies. Despite committing his act alone, it wasn’t surprising that he would have help on the outside. She knocked on the door. “Come in.” A voice rose from behind.

Scotty did so, walked to the desk and handed him her papers. The commander lifted his eyes only when he saw the file in front of him. “I presume this is your end report, Moreau?”

“Yes, and no, sir.” She replied as he took it for inspection. He raised an eyebrow. “This is my report on the possible next target of Lambert. All I need is for you to review this and…”

“Godverdomme! I already told you, we have no jurisdiction outside of the EU.” The commander sighed. “I can’t let you pursue him in England, I can’t give you this kind of authority. Not only because of our rank, but in general.”

“Sir, there must be a way.” Scotty pleaded. “If we don’t stop him now, there’s a high chance he will strike again. This time, I don’t think he will be alone.”

The commander put down the files and shifted in his seat. “Listen Moreau, you are a good soldier and like any of them… Sometimes they mess up. You just need to live with the consequences. For now, all I can do is to transfer this intel to some capable hands in an outside country.”

It wasn’t the fact that he said she messed up that rubbed her the wrong way, but the idea of someone else taking over the case. Scotty was used to do her work from A to Z without anyone in the way. Not that she didn’t trust anyone, she simply liked to make sure that the job was done. She bit the inside of her cheek to avoid saying anything out of place. “With all your due respect commander, I would rather like to see this mission till the end.” She said, taking back the file. “We probably have allies, connections, anyone who can help us…”

“Like I told you sergeant, I can transfer the file to a competent authority in the country, end of discussion. You.” He pointed at her with a stern look. “You can’t participate in any of this besides letting go. I know this is not how you work, but there’s nothing more I can do. I’ll give you time to wrap your head on the idea. But the longer you wait, the more difficult it will be to catch this man. I would suggest you make up your mind before the end of the day.”

The commander dismissed her. Scotty smiled and left the room, upset. He was right that she was not acting for the greater good at this point. If she could just accept that some other PMC or military agencies would take over, this whole situation would be done sooner. But her guts told her to not do that. Out of frustration, she let herself slide fall against the wall and slide down as she groaned, face buried in her papers. What made her more annoyed was that this mission was supposed to be her promotion, to see if she would be able to handle missions solo. So far… she was not doing a good job. At least not on her own terms. “Rough day?” A voice said with an american accent. Scotty lifted her eyes to meet with the woman standing in front of her. Dirty blond hair, probably in her late forties. She extended her hand to help Scotty get up.

“Thanks ma’am. Not much of a rough day, just some disagreement with Commander Peeters.”

“Little trouble with authority?” The woman smirked.

“Not all. My superiors only have my utmost respect.” Scotty waved the file. “I’m simply not allowed to follow up this investigation I have been working on for weeks now. The target escaped to England and the BSF has no authority there. My commander asked me to transfer all to competent personnel but…”

“You don’t trust the job will get done?” Scotty nodded. “May I?” The woman asked gesturing that she would hand the file to her. Scotty did and waited patiently as she read through it quickly. “I know some people you can trust with this kind of situation. They are very capable.”

“I don’t doubt it ma’am, but… would it be selfish to say that I want to be there when this son of bitch is caught? I worked too hard to get where I am, I want to see the endgame.”

The woman looked at Scotty with a soft smile. “Let me see what I can work out.”

The sergeant was slightly surprised by this turn of event. A complete stranger helping her out? That felt odd but appreciated. She followed the woman back into the office. Commander Peeters was also surprised to see his sergeant coming back with an old acquaintance. “Chief Station Laswell. I didn’t expect to see you here. What brings you to my base?” The man stood up to shake hands.

“I was coming for a special request, Commander, regarding some smuggling of illegal arms in the area. I need some intel on it and to avoid any diplomatic issues, you were my first choice.” Laswell explained taking a seat. She brought up Scotty’s file. “A last minute request has been added.”

The commander straightened his back and cleared his throat. “This matter has been already discussed with Sergeant Moreau and she knows what needs to be done at this point.”

“I am aware of this. But she showed great interest in the case. By the look of this report, which seems like she worked hours on it, it would be unfair to cut her completely out. Don’t you think?”

“Indeed.” His hands crisped together. He glanced at the sergeant. She had the guts to go above him. Scotty didn’t flinch at the glare. “She is one of my most valuable assets, it would be a loss to have her leave the country when I’m sure Moreau could help you in your original request.”

“No doubt, but I found myself insisting. I know exactly who can take over from her work, but having her in person can provide better and deeper intel if needed.”

Peeters looked at both women. He knew that Scotty was stubborn and wouldn’t let go, especially now that she was given an opportunity. Had it not been from Laswell intervention, she most likely would have dropped the case. He let out a sigh. “Very well, Moreau, you have authorization to follow Laswell’s order from now on. However, I expect a report on any findings on Lambert.”

“Yes, sir! Thank you ma’am.” The sergeant replied, keeping her excitement to a normal level. Laswell handed her back the file and told her to wait outside the time she would be discussing the other matter.

Scotty left the room with much more hope for the end result of the mission. This was all that she wanted! She was still curious as to how an American would have contact in England. Then again if it was through another PMC, it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. She waited outside the officer for maybe another half an hour before Laswell came out. The CIA agent gestured at Scotty to walk with her. Scotty thanked her one more time for being on her side. “If I may ask, I’m curious to know why?”

“I know how hard it can be sometimes to give up something you worked hard for, how the guilt can be if anything goes wrong. For now, I would suggest you pack your personal belongings and follow me. When you are done, meet me at the tarmac. I’ll explain all you need to know on the plane.”

******

In the plane, Scotty was first told to tell Laswell all that she knew about the man. Give more details about his operation and his activities. What should they be expecting and anything else that would make the apprehension of Lambert easier. Lambert used to be a regular civilian who had no past of misconduct. A pretty normal past with no indication that he would be prone to such violence. However, in the last two years, he had been connected to many bombing attempts, hostage situations and transfer of illegal weapons. His intentions are still unknown as of why, but all that matters is that he is put in prison soon. So far, no innocent people have been victims of his coup, but this is only a matter of time. One wrong move and it could all change.

Laswell nodded. “I won’t be disembarking here, I must return to the US for other work related issues. When we land, Captain John Price will be waiting for you. From here, he will be the one in charge. It was a pleasure to meet you, Moreau.”

“Likewise, Laswell.” Scotty learned to drop the ma’am and simply use her last name. The trip from one base to the other lasted barely an hour and half, which wasn’t much to give all the information, but enough for Laswell to know what she would be sending the team in. Scotty figured that all just told the chief station would have to be told again to the captain.

She climbed down the stairs and saw a man standing. Hands behind his back, fisher hat and looking directly at her. He nodded a little when she was closer. Once she was in reach he extended his hand for a shake.

“Welcome to England, sergeant. I’m Captain Price.” He said with a warm smile.

“Sergeant Camille Moreau, pleasure to meet you.” She shook his hand confidently.

“I’ll introduce you to the rest of the team and from here we will see what we can do to help.”

Scotty followed him inside the building to what looked to be his own office. He opened the door and went first. When he moved to the side, she was greeted by three other men sitting around the room. The captain introduced the sergeant to them, telling them to be nice with the lady. She could help but snort at this.

“Here you have Gaz, Soap and Ghost.” He pointed at each of the men. The two first either gave a quick wave or a nod to her, meanwhile the one named Ghost didn’t not flinch, just kept looking. Scotty nodded back and caught herself wondering why would anyone wear a mask like Ghost would? It was ridiculous and impractical; this had to be in the way of his peripheral view. However she did notice how compared to their captain, the three of them had been named with what sounded more like a callsign than their actual name. A detail she pointed out. Price said that it was mostly what they used, although himself still often switching between Kyle and Garrick with Gaz. MacTavish was also used for Soap. Ghost… always Ghost.

“Got any?” The man named Soap said with a Scottish accent. She grinned. This would be funny.

“Yeah, they call me Scotty.” She replied, shrugging.

Soap snorted. “Quit shitting me. What is it really?”

“No I swear, that’s the one. Take it or leave, Soap.”

“Feisty eh? I like that.”

After the quick introduction, Price allowed Scotty to recap, again, all that has happened since then and what led her here. Gaz was a little surprised that the task force would be asked to work on such a small threat than they had been used to in the last few years. They had gone after much worse, this Lambert sounded like an isolated case. Still dangerous but nothing compared to other terrorists who would bring war between two countries. Scotty did agree with him, but in her words, they were her ticket in the country to act without any political issue. Not that England and Belgium were on bad terms, but you couldn’t never be too careful. Price examined all that information she had. “Any ideas of where he might be now?”

“Well because I still had no clue on his real intentions, it’s a little hard to know who helped him get out of the country and with whom he might ally himself.” She admitted.

“So we are working with a half finished job?” Ghost finally spoke up. Scotty frowned. As ridiculous the mask was, it did make her feel uncomfortable to try to look him in the eyes. Not being able to see his face made it hard to tell if he was being serious or joking. He didn’t look like the jokester type.

“I did most of the work alone.” Scotty defended herself. “The man has been off the grid since he started to blow shits up, not quite easy to track him.”

Ghost didn’t say anything after that. “He could have fled to any country.” Gaz pointed out. “Why would it be England? Even by being off the grid, this is not really the first option of many terrorists.”

“Before he vanished from the system, he used to work for a pharmaceutical company, which has many operating buildings in the EU and England.”

“How is this relevant?” Soap asked.

“Well because, two years after he quit on good terms according to his former employer, a lot of their shipments went missing or were the target of bombing. From what I dug on them, the company had a few shady transactions in third world countries. Easy trials to deny if anything goes wrong.”

“I thought you said you didn’t know Lambert’s intentions.” Ghost chimed back in.

“I said his real intentions. So far it seems like he just wants to sabotage the company, but recent information suggests it might be worse. Smuggling weapons in a country is a whole new level then disrupting your ex company’s business.”

Price took a moment to think about their possible actions. For now, they needed to gather more information on the company and who might be helping Lambert. From his point of view, if he was going against his former employer for unethical business, it wouldn’t be out of the possibility that other employees still working were on his side. Which in itself was a lead. The captain asked her what her speciality was. Obviously, recon and scouting. Price then proposed the following plan. Soap and her would infiltrate the company HQ, to find any information on their next shipments and possible contact with Lambert from the employees. In the meantime, the other three would go to the nearest port to investigate any unusual activity.

This done, they were all dismissed. Price proposed himself to show her around, to get her bearing. She gladly accepted the offer. He showed her the armory, the training ground and most important by this time of the day, the mess hall. She still had a question in mind.

“Captain, how much do you know about this woman… Laswell?” She asked hoping she was not crossing a line.

“We go back a long way. Why?”

“Why would she agree to help a complete stranger like me to stop what, according to Gaz, is a low threat risk? I’m not against the help, I really appreciate it, but it does feel…off.”

“Kate is a good person with a great tactical mind. She might have connected something you haven’t yet. Don’t sweat it, lass.” He patted her back. “As for Garrick, this will just bring him back to his good old days, I’m sure he will appreciate it.”

Scotty smiled feeling slightly reassured, but not completely at peace. To be fair, this was her first time working with an outside task force. She never had the chance to do it, some of her colleagues did and they always enjoyed the experience. It really opened their eyes to new possibilities. Even if this just happened by spurt of luck, she should take the chance and make the best out of it. Price excused himself as he had to make some preparations for tonight's mission, in the meantime she was free to do whatever she wanted. Her eyes glanced over the mess hall when she saw someone waving at her. It was Soap. Scotty joined up with him and Gaz. She took a seat next to the latter.

“So they are adding another sergeant to the team.” Soap chuckled, taking a bite from his tray.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing and it’s temporary, really.” Scotty raised her eyebrows.

“We shall see how long is temporary.” Gaz smiled. “It just feels like the captain has more ‘kids’ to take care of.” Scotty and Soap laughed softly at the remark.

“Truth is, this mission was supposed to be my promotion. Once it was done, I did become Second-Lieutenant. Not a lieutenant, but I would be granted more than a sergeant.”

“You work for the army?” The Scotsman asked.

“Used to. Changed to a PMC, Belgian Silent Forces. Gives a little more liberty than just fighting in the front somewhere. Isn’t that what you guys are?”

“Oh no! 141 is a smaller group. Only the four of us. We still get the job done, with some allies here and there.” They spend another two hours talking about what they used to do before joining their respective forces. Gaz and Soap told the stories of their past missions since the 141 was formed a little more than three years prior. Scotty was rather impressed by the job they were doing. It sounded much more interesting and useful than what she was doing. Most of her work revolved around giving a hand to the three surrounding countries; France, Netherlands and Germany. Luxembourg was also a place, but very rarely. She was doing some international work but not as international as the 141. And while she also dealt with some low threat terrorists, most of her recent work was against cartel or illegal transport of weapons. The biggest thing she worked on was to stop human trafficking, but it was still far from stopping a missile. The two men assured that any work that made the life of the civilians safer was a great accomplishment.

*******

Time finally arrived to infiltrate the HQ and retrieve any information they could find. As they bypassed the security on the exit door, Soap did comment on how this wasn’t his usual type of work. “I’m more a sweep through, brute force.” He whispered, closing the door behind them. “Lt is better at this recon stealth type mission.”

“Lt?” Scotty wondered.

“Oh that’s another nickname I have for Ghost.” They crouched at the intersection of the hallway and checked the surroundings. All clear.

“He’s a lieutenant?” Soap nodded to confirm. “I see… talking of which, what’s the thing with the mask and all?”

Despite the few attacks on their other buildings in Belgium, they didn’t seem to have upgraded their security. True that most attacks happened during the day, when there were more people and higher chances of the CEO to be in. Well this was to their advantage, it made all of this much easier. They reached the room in a record time. The most complicated part started now. Access the mainframe and look up for what they needed.

“He likes to keep his privacy. I have been working with him for three years and I still don't know how he looks under that bloody mask.”

Scotty chuckled. It wasn’t rare in their fields of operation to have people who wanted to keep their identity secret, but in Ghost’s case it felt like taking it to the extreme. They slowly advanced in the hallway. Thanks to the late hours, there was barely any personnel inside. Their target was the main data base on the third floor. They pushed up in the emergency staircases, tiptoes and silently. Soap was impressed by how little noise she made, even with all the gear they had. She joked that there was a reason they were called Belgian Silent Forces.

As she browsed through shipment registers, Soap relayed the information to Price. One interesting cargo to look at was on who just arrived today from Kosovo. Another one from Pakistan. This done, Scotty and Soap looked through the data collected by the company itself, aka their employees emails. It felt wrong, but right now morale was not on the menu. Scotty looked at all the names list, till one clicked as a familiar. Eleanor Goldberg. She had seen this name before during her investigation on Lambert. She quickly scrolled through the emails, mostly filled with questions from other departments, requests and authorization. Nothing personal per say.

“Look at this one.” Soap pointed the screen to an authorization email. In it, Goldberg had given permission for the transfer of thirty boxes of medications to be delivered to Yemen. However the transit number corresponded with the cargo who came back from Pakistan. Something wasn’t adding up here. Scotty pulled up the full registry of the shipment. It all clicked.

“Captain.” She radioed.

“What is, Scotty?”

“The cargo that arrived from Pakistan made a stop in Belgium two days ago.”

“Roger that. We will check it now.”

Obviously this had probably a connection with Lambert escaping to England. If it wasn’t via the container, he most likely boarded the ship that transported it. If Goldberg was connected to it… Scotty quickly looked up her personal information. Maybe getting to her address would lead them to Lambert. She took a picture of the screen and told Soap they could leave. As easy as they got in, they were out.

They later rendezvous at the entrance of the port where the other three were. Gaz was there to greet them and brought them to the container where the plot thickened from here. If this cargo had delivered its shipment of medications, it should be loaded with crates from the company. but it wasn’t. That was because after closer inspection, crates were filled with weapons. Military grade ones. Price looked at the crates with concerned worry. Even Ghost had to admit that Lambert wasn’t playing small games anymore. The two sergeants shared some connections they made and the captain said that they would raid Goldnerg’s house now. They had lost enough time like this.

They climbed their respective car and headed to the location. Soap at the wheel, Scotty had time to quickly send her commander a sitrep on the situation who had advanced much faster than she expected. They arrived at the house one hour later. They parked their cars on the opposite street and took a look at their surroundings.

“Scotty and Ghost, you will get in from the backyard. Gaz, Soap and I watch for squirters on the other side.” Price ordered once they were clear on what to do. The captain bet all his odds on the stealth of the two operatives.

Thankfully the access to the backyard was easy. The suburb was in expansion and the construction had just begun behind Goldberg’s house. Ghost and Scotty climbed the fence and landed on the grass. The lieutenant gestured to her to follow him. Crouched, weapons at the ready they crossed the distance to the building and made their way in through a door that gave to the basement. All clear.

“Light on on the floor above, watch your steps.” Ghost whispered. Scotty nodded.

They climbed the stairs silently. Ghost scanned the surroundings. Light on, tv still playing in the background, the air smelled like food had just been done cooking. Yet no one in sight. They slowly made their way to the first floor upstairs. Bathroom was clear, the first bedroom was clear, and the second also. Then they heard it. A creaking noise coming from above. Scotty looked up, saw the trap to the attic still moving. She pointed it without a word to Ghost. He grabbed the rope and on the count of three pulled it. The ladder-stair came down with a loud thud. Scotty climbed carefully one step at the time, pistol in hand, light resting above to light the room. She scouted every corner. A shadow quickly ran behind a pile of boxes. The sergeant climbed the rest of the ladder without letting go of the position she saw the shadow.

“Come out now and no harm will be done!” She warned. “We are looking for someone.”

A woman rose from the shadows, hands up. She showed no fear or hostile intention. Ghost climbed the stairs. “Who are you?” Scotty asked while the lieutenant looked around the attic.

“Eleanor Goldberg. What are you doing in my house?” The lack of emotion in her voice ticked Scotty to be on her guard.

“We are looking for Hans Lambert. Intel tells us he might be here.”

“Never heard of this man before. Unless you have a warrant, I would ask you to leave before I call the police.”

“Scotty, come here.” Ghost said. Never lowering her gun, she walked backwards to the desk he was inspecting. There were a few papers with a writing she recognized as Lambert’s. By the look of it, it had been written recently. His sentence was not finished, like he had to leave in a hurry. “He was here.”

The sergeant returned her attention to the woman who had lowered her hands by now. “You claimed not to know the man, yet he was here. Where did he go?”

“You can’t stop him. It’s too late.” Goldberg replied with a stern tone. “It’s time they pay for their actions. If you are against us, this means you are with them and so are the enemy.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” The grip on her pistol tightened.

“This is the end of the suffering. Quds Force was right and so was Lambert.” A small clicking noise echoed in the room. Scotty and Ghost knew this sounds too well. Without hesitation, she fired two shots to the chest. Even if it wouldn’t change much, they had a better chance at surviving. Goldberg’s body dropped on the ground, her hand letting go of the grenade. Ghost grabbed Scotty by the jacket and pulled her behind the desk he quickly flipped over. The two soldiers took cover, lay down flat, covering their heads as the explosion happened. The shockwave sent the desk flying against the wall which caused them as well to be crushed between the two. The window above them shattered. It took them five seconds to regain their bearings and be able to reply to Price almost screaming on the radio. Their ears were ringing, their vision slightly blurred by the shock. Ghost helped Scotty back on her feet. Luckily, the desk, which was made of metal, absorbed most of the shock, yet they still felt bruises on their legs and arms. A piece of wood had cut through her pants and left a wound. But she could still stand. The lieutenant pressed her to get out of here, but she insisted on taking all they could before leaving.

“We don’t have time for this! Let’s get out of here. This attracted enough attention.” He groaned.

Not wanting to annoy her superior further, Scotty only had the time to grab a map and they made their way out before the police and fire department showed up.

#cod fanfic #series: wie goed doet goed ontmoet #cod oc #oc:camille scotty moreau #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #kate laswell

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brianvan · 2 years ago

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The year-end personal recap concept is OPPRESSIVE to me. I think it's healthy to occasionally check-in with yourself every once in a while but... why do I have to participate in a public ceremony? Why NOW, the one week of the year I'm the most sleepy and listless from all the parties and the holiday food and the laying-around? When nothing is going on NOW to brag about, and it's the longest distance in time from lots of things I do productively? And why do most people have lots of big changes to brag about and I'm usually fishing for stuff to brag about out of my totally-fine life because none of it is status-seeking or photogenic? Just for theoretical purposes, does the angst get any easier if you have a year that makes for an easy and beautiful year end post? Probably not.

Anyway.

2022 didn't feel special while I was living it - it felt like a year where nothing major happened, where there was just a lot of work/planning to do and it was not worth bragging about.

But, uh, holy shit:

Celebrated 10 years of marriage!

I basically started a new career (but, caveat, the position started in November 2021 - yet by New Year's, after something like 5 total weeks of real work, I had no real idea if it would take root. But root it did)

Relating to the second-longest thing going in my life (other than the marriage), my service on the Community Board, a pretty seismic change - I resigned my position as Treasurer (a real piece-of-cake assignment that lets me nose in on the whole board's business) so that I could take the role of Transportation Committee chair, which is a huge upgrade in visibility, control and direct involvement in the issues I've been taking up for years.

Moved into a much nicer apartment, one that isn't a nexus of maintenance crises. More room! All new furniture! A much nicer shower/bathtub!

We have a financial advisor now!

Not only did I have a good biking year...

...and a pretty damn good camping year...

But I bike-camped across THE WHOLE STATE OF IOWA, 462 miles in seven days. First time traveling with the bike!

I went to 10-12 concerts, which is about 9-10 more than I go to in any given year, and they all were at least pretty good!

I went to something like 12 baseball games because I dove in with a CitiField ticket package, and I think it worked out pretty good! (Plus a Yankees game and a Rangers game)

A scenic trip to the Finger Lakes!

Got to do Delaware River rafting again!

I finally read THE POWER BROKER!

I managed to get a short trip to San Francisco, my second time!

Legal weed!

New Peloton bike at home! I'm actually using it!

... and couple other things I'm not going to divulge or air out here!

Anyway, I was very surprised to take a glance at some records and see all of these very big (often long-delayed) things happened all in a short time. Yes, there were *absolutely bad* things that happened too, but the trend seems to be "change and growth" in big ways at once, rather than just ordinary things passing in time and space.

But, the year felt like A LOT. Another theme through most of the year was "don't overcommit yourself!" and that's easier-said-than-done sometimes (especially in a year where seasonal/annual things that were paused for 1-2 years came roaring back all at once). And also "stop wasting time on various maladaptive habits!" (which is less "using social media" and more "reflexively checking social media as much as one blinks") So, from an attention/stimulation standpoint I've really been flying by the seat of my pants and I'm certainly not going to try to ever plan to one-up a year like this one. I am hoping for a relatively calm 2023, already committing to several attention cutbacks.

Every once in a while I get posed the question "where do you see yourself in 5 years" and at one point I thought I could get insight on that by looking at the past 10 years. And from that I saw that the answer was "there is absolutely no telling where you will be in 5 years or what you want to see happen, all you know is that you'll have significantly pulled yourself forward and you won't be where you are now." Because in any 5 year timeframe, that has been the story of the last 20+ years. Recently, I've learned and experienced so much, and have grown so much. And there is so much more opportunity for learning and growth. Life is an experience of taking those opportunities continually. And it's great.

Ironically, the idea of personal growth/progress is a concern where I'm deeply anxious, and fearful of failure. I am going to spend some time unpacking that in 2023. (That's been part of the growth, BTW: insight into bad thinking!) What ties all of this together is that it's a fairly good idea to gut-check that anxiety by looking at an actual recap of events and achievements. Enough happened this year that I should forgive myself if I want to chill out for the next 2 years! If I just did many of the events from this past year all over again in this coming year (like a routine), it'll be fantastic! If there's anything I'm unhappy with now, or anything I'm worried where I don't control whether it goes good or bad... there's literally nothing to worry about because even among setbacks I come out very strongly ahead overall, even in a bad year! (Other than "you shouldn't worry" as a separate but still meaningful lesson)

It is very difficult to remember all of this so I figure it's good for me to jot this down in private. As it turns out, I've got many years of recaps in Tumblr already that are public, so here's another one for the pile. I'm keeping the streak going. Now I don't need to worry about being the guy without a rosy year-end recap.

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lighterium · 3 years ago

Note

There must be fans out there that are like "wtf" to the rest of the fans' actions right? Right????

As 0 alacrity put it while we were talking, by the way, they're the one also helping me have evil little thoughts.

Here's a tl;dr of it, but a pretty good think piece is under the cut.

So, basically YES. But being just "wtf" doesn't do enough. Spamton very much has asked for help and believed in the common sense of people to help him get out of this situation, but like in any fandom, while extreme fans are not the majority, they're the ones bold enough to act upon their desires and do horrible stuff.

That includes doxing, harassing and possibly harming people who oppose them, and usually people with good sense kind of keep away from that for a good reason. So while there's critique and attempts to help, no one really has managed to do much more than just that.

Buckle up because this one's kinda long but a very interesting read.

BIG NOTE: Spamton is a fictional character, it is not to be taken literally as a "parasocial" relationship with him. It is a Commentary about how people approach RL CELEBRITIES/YOUTUBERS/CONTENT CREATORS/ ACTUAL PEOPLE WHO ARE POPULAR.

We have to put this as a note because there is a problem with media literacy and self projection of consumers while ignoring the bigger problem/commentary.

" The thing is you have to think about in every fandom, it's not like the crazy fans are the majority, but they're the ones bold enough to act upon their desires.

And the question is "As a member of a fandom, or as a member of someone who likes this media that also participates are you a passive fan or an active fan?

By passive I ask this "you watch this, you say this is wrong, this is fucked, but you don't participate but you are a witness to these events. You know it's going on you know what's appropriate and isn't, but the question is: Would you step up? would you try to save your bias? are you going to be a part of the opposing numbers that say hey enough is enough and band together to show support and free your celebrities from the cages they're placed in? Or will you watch.

Many people want to say I'll act upon it but if look around us, you'll see that there are so many passive fans. There are so many bystanders, there are so many people afraid.

You may not contribute to the extreme actions that crazy fans take but the question I have is ...are you brave enough to regulate your own fanbase? Knowing that there is potential for harm.

There is potential being hunted for speaking up, there is potential you'll be left ALONE not cause people DONT agree with you but they're just as afraid as you to get involved, and at this point that's a question of asking, can you really say you don't contribute to the problem when you let shitlords like that take over fan spaces to dictate the general image of the thing you love to destroy the things you adore, to cling to the past?

Here's a question too? How much do other people let other fans get away with things and blame the celebrity instead. People view celebrities as figure heads, Spamton probably called out for help, he believed in his fans too. He still hopes and believes that too but when you reach out and you witness passive fans turning their backs, the few who speak out being taken under waves and drowned out by the voices of the nutcases, and the worst of them all, those that instead of helping blame the celebrity, anyone would lose hope.

And most reasonable people if we're being honest, don't want to fight with crazy people. Even the most well adjusted individual knows the difference between extreme worship/martyr complex actions and understanding that " hey, these people are CRAZY ENOUGH to imprison a single whole ass man, a powerfully popular whole ass man.

....

what is someone like me going to be able to do other than countless death threats and getting doxxed?"

you ever think about that?

Side note: I know this is going to be said and I'm going to address it early. If someone says "Am I the bad one for not acting?"

You make your own decision based on that. But the point is being missed if you are asking this and not looking at the overall issue of fan culture itself and who gets to speak out for the community you're a part of. If you choose to not say a word, that's on you and that's your choice and you should own it.

Own that not saying something when watching this does have an effect. Choosing to accept that affect in silence is your prerogative. Whether it's good or bad is Up. To. You.

But know that if you don't do anything and you don't like the result that occurs due to waving off your say. It's a choice you made to leave that in their hands, you have chosen to say "My choice doesn't matter"

#ask #marionette au #spamton

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devildomimagines · 4 years ago

Note

Could u do another "I'm not (blank) enough" requests but instead of MC saying something negative it'd be the brothers saying they aren't enough at something?

This was an interesting request, thanks Anon! I'm sorry it took me a while to get through it but I really had to dig deep to figure out what these arrogant, all powerful demons could feel insecure about.

Here is my other piece Anon is referencing: "I'm Not _______ Enough."

I changed it up a bit from the original but I hope you like it! Also I got carried away and this got pretty long so the other brothers are under the cut lol.

"Am I _______ Enough?"

Belphegor

“Am I reliable enough?”

You had woken up from your nap to his words, and asked “What?” While wiping the sleep from your eyes.

“Can you depend on me?” He reworded the question but didn’t make eye contact.

“Belphie?” You guided his face to look at yours.

“Actually never mind,” he backed out of the conversation and the bed.

“Wait,” You sat up and pushed out of the bed too, already missing the warmth.

Once in front of him, you stated, “You’re reliable!”

His blush was slight but you caught it before he amended, “I know that I’m not always hanging off you like Mammon or Asmo-“

“That’s ok!” You interrupted, “Sorry,” you quickly apologized when he gave you a look.

“But I know that with your sin, it gets physically uncomfortable to be awake for long periods like how Beel gets after not getting enough food. I know if I ever needed you,” you took his hand, “you’d be there.”

He took a moment to let the scene sink in before squeezing your hand, giggling, and roughing up your hair, “That’s right, bed head,” He teased.

“Yours isn’t any better!” You moved to do the same to him but he dodged.

The two of you continued to play fight but didn’t let go of the other's hand. Belphie seemed lightened by your confirmation and you enjoyed the rare bout of playful activity with the youngest.

Beelzebub

“Am I warm enough?”

“Heck yeah! You’re like a space heater!”

He laughed, “Thanks, MC.” But his smile faded too quickly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I misunderstand?” You went from sitting across from him to sitting next to him at the table, “Do you not want to be a space heater?”

That got him smiling again, “No, that’s not it, I guess I meant warm like friendly?”

“Well then it’s a resounding yes, you’re super friendly Beel!” You gave his back a rub and a pat for punctuation.

“Oh… ok,” he went back to his snack which you assumed he would but his response wasn’t sitting right with you.

“Do you not believe me?” You looked up at him with your best puppy dog pout.

Congrats, your cuteness made the Avatar of Gluttony choke! He coughed and pounded on his chest with a closed fist.

You offered your apology and he waved it off as he took some gulps of his drink.

“No I do believe you MC.” He started covering your hand on the table with his and before your hand was completely enveloped he stopped.

“What is it then?” You prodded.

“Just a teammate commented on how I made chills run down his spine with just my stare.”

“Ah, I think Asmo would know that as a resting b*tch face,” you scratched your chin sagely

He frowned, “I can’t do anything about that, that's just how my face is.”

“Exactly! So don’t stress it, he’s still your teammate and friend, right?”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Beel mulled it over and you could practically see the weight of it rise off his shoulders as he sat up straighter and accepted it.

“There he is,” you thought as he exuded an easy confidence but your thoughts were disrupted when he pulled you into an embrace. He whispered near your ear, “Thanks.”

“Who could think this wasn’t warm?” You thought as you snuggled into his hold.

Asmodeus

“Am I attentive enough?”

“What brought that up?” You questioned looking up from your spot on his bed. It wasn’t like Asmo to show his insecurities.

“Just some gossip going around,” He tried to minimize the claims and continued fussing with his hair.

“Oh, well, you know how gossip gets, you just have to ignore it and it’ll go away,” you repeated the same advice he had given you when you first arrived in the Devildom and there were vicious rumors and tabloid articles written about the exchange program participants.

“But am I?!”

The hurt look on his face paired with the desperation in his question made it plainly obvious this meant more to him than he wanted to let on.

“Of course-”

Asmo cut you off, “MC, you have to be deadly honest right now.”

“You’re attentive Asmo,” You confirmed without a shadow of a doubt.

He chewed his lip and cheek debating the statement.

You got up from the bed and came to stand in front of Asmo. You cupped the cheek he was chewing on and he stopped.

With a small nudge you made him swivel to look back in the mirror, “What were the rumors saying?” Your own curiosity running wild, what could bring Asmo to this?

Surprisingly Asmo looked away from the reflection of you two to answer in a small voice, “That if I didn’t pay attention to you, they’d sweep in and take you for themselves.”

That stunned you for a second, you didn’t think it would involve you. “Well first of all, I don’t even know them, how are they going to even get close to me at this point?”

Asmo considered this, you were always with him or one of his brothers.

“Second, you’re always paying attention to me, you probably know my facial expressions better than I do,” you laughed and he couldn’t help a small snort of his own.

“Third, even on days when you’re stressed, or excited about a new make-up launch and your energy is elsewhere, you always,” you squeezed his arm for emphasis, “ALWAYS check in on me.”

Asmo bit his lip once more but this time holding back a smile. He clearly couldn’t hold it back when he locked you in a hug and squealed your name.

Satan

“Am I patient enough?”

You knew this was something that he consciously worked on so you quickly confirmed, “Yes,” then turned the page of your book.

He was a little shocked at your quick resolution and not totally satisfied. He closed his book and asked, “There was never a time when you think I couldn’t have been more patient?”

“Well sure, but I think that about myself too.”

That was also surprising to Satan, “How? You’re even more patient than me.”

“I’m only human,” You shrugged, as you closed your own book, recognizing this was going to be more of a discussion.

“And I’m only demon?” Satan returned sarcastically. He did not appreciate the turn of phrase.

“Sorry, I meant, I’m not perfect, no one is. You can’t hold yourself to an impossible standard because you’ll only be destined to be disappointed when you don’t live up to it.” You paused for the idea to settle with him.

He contemplated the sentiment.

“The way I see it,” you continued, “As long as you’re trying to do better then that’s what matters.”

Satan weighed that thought as well.

“And there is an even bigger secret with patience that not a lot of people know,” you baited.

Satan asked “And what’s that?” Hook, line, and sinker.

“I don’t know if you’re ready,” you taunted and reopened your book. If there was one thing you knew you could entice Satan with, it was some kind of hidden knowledge.

He moved across the room and closed your book in your hand for you.

You looked up at him looming over you with a sweet smile.

He smiled back at you, knowing you were playing with him. “And what’s that?” He repeated but you knew it was more of a command this time.

“Fine, I’ll share the secret with you so listen well.”

He started to nod before you caught his face in your hands. His eyebrows shot up to wordlessly question your action but didn’t break the silence, his proof he was listening.

“People don’t always realize that the most important part of patience is…” you paused and savored the interest in Satan’s eyes, “that you have to afford yourself the same patience you give to others.”

His brows furrowed trying to unravel the words in his mind.

While he did so, you pulled his head down slightly so you could give him a quick kiss on the forehead. Then pat his cheek and released him.

He took a step back, almost in a daze, you certainly gave him something to think about.

Leviathan

“Am I supportive enough?”

You looked up from the manga you were reading and Levi was staring down at the manga in his hand. His hands were holding the sides tightly as he waited for your response.

“How so?” You prompted.

“L-like this,” Levi pushed the manga towards you. You scanned the panels, the scene being depicted looked like it was one where the love interest was cheering on the main character while they were participating in a sports festival.

“Well you’re not like this,” you had to be honest and you could see he was already starting to sulk, “but you’re supportive in your own way.”

He tsked and took the manga back.

“Levi, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” you apologized.

“It’s fine,” Levi turned the page, “I know I’m a gross otaku shut in.”

“No, stop.” You closed the manga, you dug this hole so it was time to climb out.

He listened and looked over at you, annoyed.

“You’re supportive Levi. There are different ways to be supportive!”

He rolled his eyes, not believing you.

Alright this guy wants to play hardball, you could play with the best of them. “You always make sure that I’ve eaten and slept, even if you haven’t. For as long as we’ve had a pact, you’ve always come to my defense even though I know you hate confrontation. When I find a new show, game or book that I’m interested in, you always take the time to learn about it yourself so I can talk to someone about it.”

By the end, Levi’s face was red, his ears were red, you could swear his hands were even shaking a little bit.

“So sure, you’re not yelling your support from the roof of the House of Lamentation like that character,” you took one of his hands and his eyes darted between your face and your interlaced hands, “but I appreciate your quiet kind of support.”

Leviathan.exe has stopped working. It took a solid 5 minutes to regain his voice.

“M-M-MC!” he whined, “That’s so embarrassing!” He slumped down to hide his face but didn’t dare remove his hand from yours.

“Was it super effective?” You laughed at your joke.

He groaned from his drooped state but he squeezed your hand and you knew that it was.

Mammon

“Am I humble enough?”

At first, you have to bite your tongue to keep from outright laughing.

Surely the demon who regards himself as “The Great Mammon” would see the irony in asking this.

But he was quiet and reflective, a stark contrast to his usual self.

You sat down next to him on the sofa in the living room, with a pat on his back you opted to offer what you thought he wanted to hear, “Sure you are buddy.”

“Are ya messing with me?” of all times for Mammon to be observant.

You were as bad a liar as he was so when you looked away and scratched your cheek instead of answering Mammon knew you were lying.

He sighed and his shoulders dropped as he caught his head in his hands.

“Well you don’t have to be humble!” You defended, feeling bad for your white lie earlier.

He peeked up at you and you took the opportunity to stand up in front of him, “You’re like the third strongest demon in all of Devildom! You should be proud of that!”

He rolled his eyes but you could see a shadow of a smile play on his lips.

“Not only are you strong but you’re very caring, not only to your brothers but to me too,” you suggested and on queue Mammon flushed.

“I’m not,” he tried to deny.

“Oh that’s not true. Remember when Belphie ruined that painting and you took the fall for it?”

His eyes opened wide in shock, “How did you-”

“Or that time when I was sick and you took such good care of me?” You added in a sing-song tone.

“Shuddup!” Mammon was now standing and placed a hand over your mouth as he looked around for his brothers. He looked back at you, “I got a reputation to uphold, y’know.”

After a muffled laugh, you pulled his hand away, “What I’m saying is you don’t have to be modest.”

“Yeah I guess when you put it that way,” He rubbed the back of his head considering.

“So what’s on the agenda for the day for The Great Mammon?”

He squinted his eyes at your teasing tone but smirked and grabbed your hand to drag you along. You went willingly with a snicker.

Lucifer

“Am I compassionate enough?”

He didn’t look up from the paperwork he was reviewing when he posed the question to you.

At first you tilted your head and wondered if he was even addressing you.

When he did finally look up, you knew he was waiting for your answer.

“Yeah, I think so?” You didn’t mean to phrase it as a question but were more concerned with how this even came up.

“You think so?” Lucifer repeated incredulously.

“Yes,” you reinforced, “where’s this coming from?” You were taking a risk in questioning Lucifer, there was probably a 50/50 chance he would actually answer.

It was rare that he would even voice a question about his character.

He frowned and went back to his paperwork. You figured that was the end of the conversation, this being the 50% of the time that he would not answer. You went back to perusing his record collection to find something to play.

“Simeon mentioned how ruthless I’ve become.”

You looked back over at Lucifer. He looked more tired than he did just a moment ago. Simeon’s comment must have been wearing on him.

You picked a record you knew he liked and put it on before walking over to his desk.

He sighed, put down his pen and rubbed his eyes.

You leaned against the desk with your arms crossed and he faced you, the weariness even more apparent up close.

“Can I be honest with you?” you asked.

He grimaced, already thinking the worst but nodded.

“I think your ruthlessness comes from a compassionate place.”

From his one raised eyebrow, you could tell that wasn’t what he was expecting and he was waiting for your explanation.

“For example,” you began, “you care about your brothers, so when you punish them, it’s for their own good or to save them from a worse fate. You might not admit this one, but you’ve become sympathetic to Diavolo’s moods and disposition and so acting in accordance with how it will reflect on him and enforcing those standards has become second nature, hasn’t it?” He looked away.

You knew he wouldn’t answer that so you looked away yourself and continued, “You may have at first picked me as a candidate for the exchange program because of my connection to Lilith and housed me at the request of Diavolo,” you laughed at what you were about to say for the first time out loud, “but since getting to know me, I like to think that you’ve had a change of heart and genuinely care about my well-being despite those factors.”

There was a moment of silence and you felt your face heat up, nervous that maybe you overestimated your importance.

Before you could look back at him, he had stood up and enclosed you in a hug. You smiled, uncrossed your arms and hugged him back.

He was humming along with the song so you made one more bold choice and started swaying in time with the rhythm. He chuckled, shifted to hold one of your hands, and properly led you in a dance around the room.

You hoped his light footsteps were a reflection of how light his heart was feeling.

All signs of the weariness from moments ago were completely gone.

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #my writing #anon squad

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lazypeachsoul · 3 years ago

Text

I wouldn't want to spend a minute lovin' anybody else.

Warnings: this fic has some sad moments and mentions of the blip. also kind of AU because I'm completely ignoring Natasha's canon end.

Word count: 4,2k (i got very carried away with this fic)

Summary: · Meeting the right person at the wrong time can be life changing when it doesn’t work out the way we desire. But if it's meant to be it will always happen, right?

A/N: This is my fic for the "Women of Marvel xReader Exchange" created by @marvelxreaderfanfictionfest . It was created for @im-holding-ontoyou and I hope you like it! gif by @natasharomanovgifs 🌼 ALSO; i haven't watched Black Widow yet so I'm sorry if something in this fic doesn't fit the new info we got about natasha.

Masterlist.

To be added to my taglist use this forms or write me an ask!

New York, 2015.

When you received the call from one of your bosses that you had a new case you would have never imagined how big that case would turn out to be.

You had been working for one of the most important law firms in New York for a year now, and you were getting kind of used to reading cases that would be narrated in the papers for months. Rich and entitled men, big divorces were they fight over who gets the yacht, one or two murder cases... if it revolved around the powerful people of New York city, your firm would get it.

When you got to the debriefing and were told that Tony Stark, one of the firm's most important clients, asked your team for assistance in the creation of some legislation with the newly created “Advanced Threat Containment Unit” you were more than surprised.

The events that the Avengers had caused (or saved us from, there were different opinions going around) in the small country of Sokovia were known all around the and it was only time before the most powerful officials asked for the regulation of ‘superhero activity’.

You weren’t important enough to actually attend the meetings that took place with the government, seeing as you had only passed your bar exam a little over a year prior, but you were deemed cheerful and nice enough to act as a nexus between the firm and the client.

For months you spent your days talking to Tony Stark and other members of The Avengers trying to explain what was being talked about. The first few meetings were a disaster, seeing as the mood was somber for the lives lost and nobody really understood your legal jargon. But slowly you started to transform your language and really tried to make the meetings as easy as possible for everyone present.

But who were you kidding, they really didn’t care about the meetings or the silly attorney being sent to explain something that was way above their paycheck. Well, at least Stark was gracious enough to set a coffee station with some pastries for the meeting. You were pouring the hot liquid into your to-go cup when your hand jerked and the hot liquid splashed your hand.

You could feel the sting of the burn but avoided further sudden movements trying not to make it worse. Before you could reach for a napkin to clean up the mess you made, a more dexterous and manicured hand reached for them and exchanged the hot cup in your hand for the bunch of papers.

“Careful, Stark always serves boiling coffee. I think it’s to mask that it’s not the best quality.”

You lifted your gaze from your hand and found a pair of deep green eyes gazing back. You would have thought that spending numerous meetings in the company of superheroes would make you less susceptible to their powerful auras, but being this close to Natasha Romanoff made your heart beat a bit faster.

“Yeah, I found out the hard way.” You joked, lifting your hand a bit. “You would guess one of the richest people in the world would actually serve good coffee...”

Seeing her crack a smile made you feel less tense. Sometimes you forget they are still normal people. Normal people who could kill you with their bare hands and had superhuman powers. She placed your cup on the food table, apparently not bothered by how hot it must have been, and pushed her hand in your direction.

“I’m Natasha Romanoff.” You wrapped your hand around hers and shook it, biting your tongue trying not to tell her of course you knew her name. “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself in earlier meetings, we were all trying to come to terms with what had happened.”

“No worries, I can only imagine how hard it must have been for all of you.” You nodded and tried to show her sympathy, trying to avoid thinking about all the lives affected by the fight. “Oh sorry, I’m-”

Natasha quickly cut you off, speaking your name before you could even say it. You could feel your cheeks get warmer at the idea that they actually knew who you were, and she probably could sense your mood change because she quickly explained.

“I know who you are, you send us at least two emails a week about these meetings and FRIDAY always announces you before you arrive.”

“Who announces me?” You asked curiously at the mention of a name you recognized.

“FRIDAY. It’s the name of Stark’s AI technology. It works all around the tower and it’s there to make life easier for everyone.” She explained pointing around at the speakers strategically placed around the room.

“Oh, I get emails from Friday sometimes. Most of them are asking me to translate or explain something about the debriefing because Mr.Stark is not interested in legal terms.” Both you and Natasha laughed at the thought.

But she quickly recomposed and tried to look serious again when she heard her teammates coming in to get ready for the meeting.

“I wanted to ask you about that. Do you think we could schedule a meeting so that you could explain some things about the legislation of the A.T.C.U.?” She spoke lower than she had when the two of you were alone and you wondered why she didn’t want her colleagues to know about the meeting.

“Ye-Yeah, of course I can.” You were confused but thought it would be in your best interest, and the firm’s, to say yes to the proposal. And a meeting with a very attractive and definitely interesting woman was not something that happened constantly for you.

“Great, thank you.” She smiled warmly and squeezed your hand that you hadn’t even realized was still wrapped around hers from the introduction. “I can promise you better coffee.”

You could only hum in response, still trying to piece together what she might want from the meeting. But your thoughts were quickly cut off when Stark entered the room and you moved to start the reunion.

During the entire meeting you could feel the dull pain in your hand from the scorching coffee and the feeling of a pair of green eyes watching your every move.

Vienna, 2016.

The situation had only gone downhill from the Battle of Sokovia. The public’s opinion on the Avengers was at an all-time-low and that made terrorist groups bold. They knew that if they struck and caused enough chaos, the blame would fall on the good guys that tried to stop them.

The only thing that seemed to be a stable thing in your life was Natasha. Well, as stable as dating a superhero might be. She was busy a lot, but you understood the importance of her job and you were quite busy too gaining importance within the law firm.

And even if sometimes terrorists and criminals got in the way you still found a moment to spend together, wrapped around each other without having to think about how messed up life was.

You thought Lagos was the blow that would make everything tumble, the Sokovia accords were unveiled and it broke the Avengers, and your girlfriend. You could feel how torn she was at her decision of some of her friends to oppose the signing and go on the run, and her own decision to subordinate to the United Nations mandate. But you realized how small that had been when king T’Chaka was killed at the UN.

You had been at the UN as part of the USA legal team that participated in the writing and monitoring of the accords. Your participation in the negotiations almost broke your relationship but you were able to recover once you explained your position and Natasha actually came to an understanding of it.

Natasha was also in Vienna when everything went down, you hadn’t managed to properly see her because she was one of the signers and they sat at the assembly while other guests sat at the amphitheater watching the retransmission.

You hadn’t been able to properly see her all day, seeing as she took a detour before flying to Austria. You were only able to communicate through texts where you tried to make the situation more comfortable for her and she promised a peaceful european trip to celebrate the signing.

When the bomb went off and all hell broke loose the first thing you tried to do was look for her, she was at the epicenter of the explosion and you just wanted to see if she was okay. You saw her from afar when you were being pushed to the outside of the building while they swiped the perimeter.

She sat with T’Challa before he jumped from the bench and stomped away. Natasha looked around and your gazes crossed, immediately melting away some of the worry. You tried to push your way through the crowd to get to her, but police and security didn’t budge.

You never took your eyes off of her, scared that if you did she would disappear. But she did move her gaze to her phone and the look that crossed her face when she heard the voice at the other side told you it was a very important call.

Once the call was over and she looked at you again you knew that would probably be the last time you would see her in some time. You hadn’t known Natasha as long as some of her colleagues had, but you could proudly say you could understand what she wanted to say with just a look. And the look on her face in that moment read close to a goodbye.

New York, 2018.

It had been two years since the fall of Helmut Zemo and part of the Avengers was still on the run. And it maybe wouldn’t have had that big of an impact on you if it wasn’t because Natasha had also been on the run for that long.

You had heard about what happened at the Leipzig airport and how Natasha had changed alliances to join Captain America’s fight. You had been heartbroken at the news knowing that any resemblance of normality that you still hope for was destroyed.

You had spent months wondering what had made her change her mind. Had she thought about your conversations about the accords? Had she even remembered you, waiting for her back in New York, when she decided to go on the run?

A part of you tried to convince you of how selfish thinking about that was, why would she think about you when the future of her team and friends was at stake? But also you were her girlfriend, she should have thought about the implications that might have had for you.

In those years you had mourned your relationship and after the grieving period you tried to rebuild your life. New friends, a new position and new chances to take. And it went okay...at least until someone opened their mouth to talk about superheroes or The Avengers. Years down the line and it was still on people’s minds.

On special occasions you would receive anonymous gifts at your office or your apartment. The first birthday after the war you sobbed for fifteen minutes when you saw the bunch of flowers. There was no name or indicative of who might have sent them, that was until you looked better at the card and saw the small red hourglass painted in the corner.

The gifts continued. Every case you won, promotion, birthday or holiday a bunch of flowers would be delivered to you with the same note.

In a way it gave you a sense of peace knowing she was okay and still thought of you. But the more you thought about it the angrier you got at how she had left you.

You didn’t expect a message from your boss to run to the Avengers compound and assess some situation between Coronel Rhodes and Thaddeus Ross. Although the team had crumbled, your company was still hired to legally represent the remaining members and moderate situations that might arise with the government.

You entered the compound expecting another bureaucratic complaint about their activity but you found a trickier situation. The meeting room was filled with people you thought you would never see again.

Captain Rogers was sitting on one of the chairs sporting a new look that made you almost not recognize him and a tense demeanor. Next to him was Sam Wilson, looking around at the smallest of movements and trying to assess the situation. Wanda Maximoff was standing on the furthest corner of the room playing with her rings, meanwhile Vision was apparently being checked out for a wound. What kind of wounds a synthezoid could get was beyond your understanding.

“Thank you for coming so quickly, I might have angered Secretary Ross during a meeting.” Rhodey came up to you with a nervous smile.

You had gotten closer to him thanks to your job seeing as he was the one doing the dirty superhero work.

“Yeah, I got that much from the text. Nothing new then.” You tried to joke to diffuse the tension in the room. “It would have been nice to know you had guests though.”

“We are not guests. Last time I checked this was our home too.”

That voice made your blood freeze. You should have expected her there, all her friends had returned and the chance of her being back too was almost 100%. But hearing her voice again after two years was not something you expected.

You bit your tongue before you could talk about how it’s not a home if you abandon it, but decided against it. This was a fight between them, not Natasha and you.

“I need you to work with the government to avoid this situation becoming a disaster.” Rhodey explained and you scoffed.

“Rhodey, I’m a lawyer not a politician. I have as much power in this as you might have.” You tried to lay your point across but it was difficult with all eyes on the interaction. “Hell, I have even less power than you do.”

“Then I need you to distract them enough to get them off our shoulders.” He pressed. “Something big is coming and we need all the strength we can get.”

You thought about it for a moment. If it was true that something big was coming, the Avengers were the best option to fight it.

“I’m in.” You scoffed at his smile and sat down in one of the chairs of the meeting room. “I’m not ready for the world to end yet.”

The meeting went on for a while. You called bosses, government officials and everyone that would listen to your distractions. You sent emails that would flood their inboxes for days so that they couldn’t read any news that might reach them about what the superheroes had in mind.

It was late at night when a cup of steaming liquid was placed next to you. You looked at it and saw that it was some kind of herbal tea, probably made to relax the drinker. You followed the hand that was still holding the mug until you reached Natasha’s face.

You had done your best to ignore her looming presence in the room but now there was no distraction. Looking at her you could see tiredness in her face. She was platinum blonde now, a look that weirdly suited her, but her face still looked as welcoming to you as it always did.

You tried to stop the flashbacks to the last time you saw it in person in Vienna, but they kept replaying in your head until her voice broke you out of the loop.

“I thought you might need it, I remember how nervous calls used to make you.”

She was smiling but you could tell it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Yeah, I guess I got over it since I got my promotion. Now I spend a long portion of my day making calls.”

She hummed and sat down next two you, but leaving a chair in between you as a safe space.

“I read about it in an article, I sent you flowers to celebrate.”

“I got them. And the Christmas ones. On my birthday too.” You enumerated the times you had gotten the plants in the past two years. “You must have spent an awful amount of money buying me so many flowers.”

“You deserved it, you still do.” She shrugged and that’s when you noticed she had her own mug of warm tea in her other hand. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to celebrate with you.”

You laughed into your mug sarcastically. Out of everything you expected her to say this wasn’t one of them.

“Did you really? Because you didn’t seem to consider me much when you went on the run for two years.”

Natasha paled when she heard your tone. She probably wasn’t used to situations like these but you weren’t going to let her go without an apology at least.

“I was trying to do the best for-”

“-for the world. I get it, Natasha, I do.” You tried to contain your emotions but it was getting harder with every word. “Relationships are supposed to be teamwork. I know you are always too busy playing heroes and I never judged you for that, I just wish you would have trusted me enough to tell me before you disappeared.”

She was silent and knowing Natasha it’s because she was probably overwhelmed with the display of feelings. But she needed to hear how bad you had felt.

After minutes of waiting for an answer from her and getting nothing but sighs you shook your head and looked back at the computer screen.

“I guess it was a case of the right person, wrong time.” You shrugged trying to find distraction in the flurry of letters in your email inbox. “Or at least it was for me.”

She got up from her seat without a word and you grew exasperated. Why had she even approached you if then she wasn’t willing to have an adult, two sided conversation? She was almost at the door when you heard her voice again.

“Please never doubt how much I love you. I made some bad choices but dating you was not one of them.”

New York, 2024.

Time apparently flies by when you are erased from the face of the earth. One day you are in your office working late and the next you appear five years in the future with no recollection of what might have happened.

You were taken by authorities to impromptu camps and one by one examined to check your identities. The entire thing seemed to be something out of one of the dystopian novels you used to read as a teenager.

When it was your turn you gave them all the information you had on what had happened. You had given them your name and personal information and apparently had been a very searched person because the computer started beeping as soon as your name was introduced in the database.

You were moved to a secluded part of the camp and kept in an isolated room for god knows how long. Your stomach was in knots during the entire situation and you could feel the cold sweat on you. That mixed with the metallic taste on your tongue you knew this time your anxiety was justified. You were almost dizzy because of how hard you were thinking about the entire situation and trying to make sense of it.

When you heard the door of the room open you jumped up, discarding on the floor a makeshift blanket that had been placed on your shoulders when you got there. Your legs almost gave out at the movement and your heart felt like it was going to burst out.

The door opened enough for you to see who had been searching for you. Natasha stepped through the door still dressed in her tactic gear and with tiredness written all over her face. But that feeling seemed to almost disappear when she finally saw you.

With quick movements she stepped into the room and wrapped her arms around you tightly. For some reason that action was the trigger that you needed to let all your emotions consume you.

You started sobbing uncontrollably at the unknown. You didn’t understand what happened or how you are here, but feeling her embrace helped you feel safe in a way. It had been years since you last hugged her but it still felt as good as back in 2015.

You could hear Natasha’s soothing shushes in between your sobs and you moved to hold her tighter.

“You are here. I can’t believe I found you again.” She spoke softly and you didn’t know if she was speaking to you or herself. “It’s okay darling. I’m here and I’m not letting you go again. I promise.”

And with that promise a ray of hope made way between all the fear you felt.

Missouri, 2025.

Soft music could be heard all around the ground floor of the house. The soft beat was upbeat enough to get the morning started but not enough to be overwhelming if you had just woken up. You were sitting on the kitchen island looking at the news on your phone and having breakfast.

Mornings were usually very calm around the homestead and you couldn’ be more thankful for that. It allowed you to silently prepare your breakfast and coffee and get a headstart on Natasha’s breakfast too.

Since she had retired, Natasha had discovered a newfound love for sleeping in and you didn’t dare to take that away from her. She deserved it from all the work she had done in her life.

You, meanwhile, tried to get up early to scroll through the cases that you got in your new and smaller job and schedule meetings or emails.

It was a Saturday so work wasn’t a thing and you could actually enjoy your toast and coffee in peace. Or at least until a pair of arms wrapped themselves around your middle and pulled you back against Natasha.

“Good morning baby, how did you sleep?”

“Like a baby.” You could feel her smile when she kissed your cheek from behind. “You weren’t there when I woke up though.”

You shrugged before moving to get a bite out of your toast. Natasha tried to do the same but you quickly moved it away from her with a smile. She tried again and you moved as fast as your reflexes allowed you.

“C’mon baby, give me a bite” “No, it’s my toast. You can make your own.” “But it tastes better when you make it.” “No it doesn’t, don’t be lazy.”

The playful fight continued for a few moments until she got close enough to get a small bit but you moved it again.

“Don’t make me bite you, darling.”

You chuckled at her threat and plopped the remaining toast on the plate in front of you. Breakfast didn’t matter much anymore. You threw yourself into her arms and pressed your lips against hers. It wasn’t a slow and sensual kiss, it was closer to how small kids smooch their parents. But you knew it would convey your love more deeply.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Nat.” You spoke against her lips and squaked when you felt her playfully nip at your bottom lip.

“Is now a good time?”

That question had become recurring in your household, a nod to the phrase you said when you found eachother again after being separated the first time.

“I couldn’t think of a more perfect time.”

And you couldn’t. The rest of your life spent in a homestead with your girlfriend and whatever life might bring? It sounded absolutely delightful.

Taglist: @tagehaya @flyforeverfree @rooskaya-yelena @evalynanne @insanitybyanothername @princessayveke @yelenabelovasgf @kyli314

#natasha romanov x reader #natasha x reader #natasha x you #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #black widow imagine #marvel imagine #marvel fic #marvel x reader

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treasure-hwa · 4 years ago

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loving you is easy

pairing: mingyu x female reader

genre: fluff, comedy

synopsis: do you know how fairytales always end saying the couple lived happily ever after? This is one of the couples, they fall more in love everyday.

word count: 1421

author's note: I am incredibly in love with Kim Mingyu and he would be a perfect husband, so enjoy this piece of a happy couple.

It was not morning, but sunlight rays peeked through the closed curtains, creating a warm soft glow into the bedroom. The couple sleeping safe and sound decided it would be nice to take a nap during the afternoon to be well rested to the event they needed to attend later on the evening. A wedding rehearsal. Mingyu’s sister’s wedding rehearsal.

He still could not quite believe his little sister would be marrying in less than a day, but her fiance seemed to be a good man, so he was accepted in the Kim family, which means Mingyu had liked him, much more than her previous boyfriends.

Feeling like the nap had lasted long enough and bothered by the light hitting her right in the face when the curtains were swung by the soft wind, the woman slowly woke up, her body doing the same things as always: face fondly rubbing on Mingyu’s chest, hand caressing his abdomen back and forth and leg rubbing up and down on his. Her grip on the man tightened before she could let him go, as if he was her body pillow or Teddy bear and, honestly, he was.

As if on clue, when she tried to get up, Mingyu rolled both on bed and laid on top of her, also rubbing his face on her chest and tightening his grip around her waist. He was a big touchy boy and has always loved cuddling her, since the beginning of their relationship, but he always paid attention to the limits, of course. Fortunately for him, she was almost as touchy.

— Gyu, I need to get up — she groaned, but started stroking his fluffy messy hair. He looked the most adorable when he woke up, so adorable she probably would not mind skipping the day just to enjoy him.

The man mumbled a protest, but let her go, rolling on the bed again and grabbing a pillow to cuddle, because, as he constantly said, "sleeping is much better when there's something warm between your arms". She could not disagree, ever.

— I'll take a bath, but you can sleep for a little longer, okay?

He nodded sleepily, clutching the pillow and making her smile at her lovely big husband. No one could expect the next scene. As the sleep had not left her yet, when she got up and walked to the bathroom, she tripped over her shoes, almost falling on the floor, but fortunately she did not, however, Mingyu was startled, turning to her the second he heard the thud of her feet hitting the floor.

— Jeez, what are you doing, woman?

— I tripped, sorry — chuckled, kicking the shoes to the side.

Arriving at the bathroom safely after that mini accident, she took off her clothes and took a long shower, pampering herself in the best way. A wedding rehearsal would happen, a fancy event, so she needed to feel good and pretty, otherwise the night would be a nightmare for her.

When she was done with hair and body, the woman wiped down the foggy mirror, giggled to herself remembering that trend on Tiktok and made sure the bathroom windows and door were open so the steam of the previous shower could dissipate faster.

Wearing only normal cotton black panties and with her hair wrapped with a towel, she looked natural and fresh, which Mingyu made sure to empathize once he saw her through the mirror, brushing her teeth and with her breasts out.

— Well, well, well, what do we have here? — He came from behind and rested his hands on her naked waist.

The woman rolled her eyes and would have called him "silly" if her mouth wasn't occupied. The tip of his nose ran from her neck to her shoulder, sniffling her skin and making agreement hums.

— You smell so good, babe, so fresh.

She smiled at his image on the mirror and leaned back, resting on his naked chest for a moment, while he kissed her shoulder and caressed her waist with both thumbs. She bent down to quickly spit the toothpaste on her mouth and reply:

— That's what you are supposed to smell like after a shower.

— I know, but — he hums — you are so nice.

She turned around on his grip and pointed her toothbrush to his face, asking:

— Won't you dress up?

Instead of replying, Mingyu pecked her lips, even though she still had blue-ish foam on them, and smiled, licking his own and tasting the mint on them.

— I will, just let me enjoy you for a bit longer. — He kissed her cheek.

— Don’t make us late, please, your family wouldn’t like it.

— I never make us late.

She washed her mouth and turned to him again, now hugging his neck and pressing her chest to his.

— Do I need to remember you who arrived late at our wedding?

He groaned, making her smile, and answered:

— I’ve told you countless times it wasn’t my fault. The car wouldn’t work.

— Yes, I know, but I messaged Minghao that day and he said you were already late because your “face didn’t look right”.

— Unblessed be, Minghao!

She laughed, pecked the man’s lips, cheek and jaw and tapped his butt.

— Now, go and take a shower. I’ll take the hairdryer and head out of here.

Mingyu was not having it. He gripped her waist and kept her in place, whining.

— Why don’t you dry your hair here? It would be a nice vision to see during shower. — He wiggled his eyebrows and slid his hands down to her butt, squeezing it softly.

— I'm gonna cover up, seriously, you are a perv.

— No, no, no, I'm not, I swear I'm not. — He hugs her properly, nuzzling his nose in her cheek. — I just love you so much and seeing you, doesn’t matter how, makes me happy.

She chuckled, cheeks getting warm, because, damn, that man was The Man, always saying simple things that made her heart jump even after years of marriage. However, she still wore her favorite robe, then unwrapped her hair from the towel. While he took a shower, she dried her hair and they made small talk loud enough to be heard over the water and the hairdryer sounds: Mingyu told her funny stories about his friends, and she told him about the promotion happening on her office. He encouraged her to participate, knowing she was incredibly capable of getting a higher role in the company.

— You say that because you are my husband.

He opened the shower box and put his head out, droplets of water falling down on him, hair slicked back and eyebrows furrowed. Handsome.

— Hey! I may be married to you, but I’m not dumb, okay? I know you have potencial, babe.

Smiling, she went over to him and kissed his wet lips, thanking him before making her way out of the bathroom, hair ready.

A few minutes later, she was sat on the high chair by the kitchen counter messaging her sister-in-law, who was currently doing her makeup and sending her funny photos and nervous messages. While she typed out answers, Mingyu came from behind again, hugging his wife and resting his chin on her bare shoulder.

— Why are you chuckling? — He asked, kissing her exposed skin.

— Your sister. She’s really nervous and mentioned running away with her fiance. Can you imagine what people would say if the bride and the groom didn’t show up?

He chuckled, squeezing you between his arms before turning you to face him.

— And are you trying to calm her or...?

— I am. I said how marriage is wonderful with the right person, the person you love, how they will make everything to see you smile everyday and make you feel at ease every single day.

— Awnt, you are so cute, babe, you really are whipped for me.

— What is your credibility to say that? You are even worse.

— Yep, and I’m proud.

Mingyu gave her the softest smile, which she could not handle at the moment as her heart swell with the great amount of love she felt for him, so the woman kissed him while his hands held her waist soflty and hers played with his damp hair.

They could only hope the almost newlywed couple felt the same way they did, overflowing with true love every minute of the day.

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innuendostudios · 4 years ago

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Thoughts on... some funny games

[no spoilers to speak of]

Thoughts on Lair of the Clockwork God

The wisdom of the gaming cognoscenti insists that comedy is hard to do in video games. Having grown up with Monkey Island and Zork, I've never found this convincing. But one true thing is this: it's hard to write about comedic games. The ineffability of humor is hard enough to describe in less-interactive media; I can't even explain to my partner why Gretchen saying "I met January Jones once!" on You're the Worst busted me up, and they were sitting right next to me when she said it. Throw in the "you had to be there" nature of the player's active participation and I lose myself in a cornfield. The thing I found hilarious might come a beat to early for you, or not at all, or not be funny in text like it is in gameplay.

Why did I like Lair of the Clockwork God? It made me laugh.

The premise and particulars are a lot of "that could go either way." Ben and Dan - stars of Ben There, Dan That and Time Gentleman, Please! - have returned. Ben is still an adventure game star, but Dan has adopted platforming mechanics in an attempt to get with the times. So playing the game involves switching back and forth between a character who can leap across canyons but can't pick up items or talk to people, and one who can combine inventory but can't climb over a 3-pixel rock.

Does that sound potentially funny? Potentially grating? Yes to both!

The plot centers around our heroes trying to save the world from several simultaneous apocalypses and having to teach human emotions to a supercomputer in order to do so. (Don't ask.) These means, rather like Ben There, Dan That, traipsing through a number of fantasy worlds (read: computer simulations) until the correct emotion is provoked. This requires cross-genre cooperation: finding ways to get Ben to areas only Dan can access, getting Dan new power ups by combining objects in Ben's inventory (an act Dan insists on calling "crafting").

The best bits are at these intersections, when Dan's platforming is the puzzliest and Ben's puzzles take advantage of Dan's skills. Periodically the game gives you a Dan-centric platforming gauntlet the controls are NOT precise nor pleasant enough for, or a Ben-only moon logic puzzle that leaves you googling the walkthrough.

But I liked it! A lot. The genre-hopping seems to have invigorated the developers, Ben Ward and Dan Marshall. I discussed my favorite joke in Ben There, Dan That (in what is probably the least popular video I've ever made that wasn't asking for money), but was also dismayed that the game was never that clever again. But this one is, several times over! Progression here involves cheating your way to a better respawn zone, goofing around in game menus, exploiting "glitches," exiting out and loading up entirely other games. There is a lot of poking and prodding at what a game of this nature can or should be.

But, honestly? The only real selling point is... it was funny. The humor is as anarchic and metatextual as in previous titles, but it feels good-natured in a way BT,DT didn't. And there are, here and there, little bits of meat on its bones - the characters wondering if, as a couple thirtysomething white guys, the world hasn't left them behind, no longer comfortable with the juvenile humor of their youth but not really understanding the youth of today, but having not yet fully escaped the mentalities they used to hold. (There's an unspoken humor to Dan's idea of "modern" gameplay being 2D platforming mechanics, especially at a time when adventure games are significantly more popular than on his last outing; this is a good joke whether or not it's intentional.)

Also: this game contains the most poignant urinating-on-a-grave puzzle in gaming history, and you may quote me on that.

Having finished it months ago, I can't even remember what all the gags were that tickled me at the time. Comedy fades from memory faster than drama or frustration. Mostly I just remember having a good time.

Thoughts on The Darkside Detective

Here's a hook: sometime after the mayhem ends in Ghostbusters, The Exorcist, Evil Dead 2, or some other paranormal blockbuster that you watched over and over in the 90's until the VHS wore out, some overworked detective has to come into your town and piece together what the hell happened.

This is his story.

It's a good gag, and the devs wring every drop from it. Existing in a world where these things are commonplace and you have to fit them into some notion of "police procedure" is just funny. Like, it's one thing to have a running gag where you keep observing the moon in outdoor scenes, commenting, with increasing hostility, that its behavior is suspicious (it has been present at multiple crime scenes); it's a slightly different thing when, given the things you've encountered, the moon being the Big Bad is actually somewhat possible.

The game is divided into six main cases and three bonus DLC missions (which come included in the base game now, and the third of which is the proper ending/setup for the sequel). You are the cop tasked to deal with The Other Side - and, when The Other Side bleeds into our own world, its cops have to deal with you. You have a sidekick with a mental maturity of about 6, which I guess makes you the straight man. (You have to grade on a curve to find a straight man in this game.) And you solve tasks like rounding up escaped gremlins or finding an AWOL lake monster all juxtaposed with mundane problems like inter-office squabbles and having not bought your Christmas presents early enough. It's (pleasantly) lo-res and sparsely isolated, so the dialogue and premise do most of the work, but they are ably up to the task.

The gameplay... not so much. I'm an adventure game lifer, so I can put up with a lot of nonsense. It's mostly straightforward inventory puzzles and occasional minigames. Most of the puzzles are fine enough. As the cases progress, things get more involved, and the DLCs especially involve some awful moon logic. And the minigames are not above using that same jumping peg puzzle you've solved in a dozen other games already. So gameplay ranges from serviceable to irritating, but it mostly exists to string together funny lines and silly images. (Christmas mall elves being secretly in service to Krampus - that's the kind of thing we're talking about here.) You won't feel much guilt for opening up a walkthrough; the puzzles aren't why you're here.

The sequel has just been released, and both games are cheap, so check them out if you feel like smiling.

Thoughts on The Procession to Calvary

It's rare for a game to be hilarious to look at.

The Procession to Calvary takes its name from the Bruegel painting. It also takes all it's graphics from Renaissance oil paintings, and the designer delights in making famously rendered heroes and religious icons steal, stab, fart, and swear.

A strong Terry-Gilliam-with-After-Effects vibe is what we're describing.

You play as a lady knight from a war that's just ended, which sucks for you because, in this age of peace, you're no longer authorized to kill. And killing's, like, you're whole thing. But the one person your new, pacifist king wouldn't stop you from killing is the warlord you just deposed, who fled to the South. So you embark on a nonsensical journey to seek out the one human on Earth you are authorized to kill, because killing is just The. Best. Ever.

Of the three games we're discussing, this is the most overtly cheeky, and, at times, the most scatological. I could've done with a bit less scatology, if I'm being honest, but the cheekiness is very winning. As with Lair of the Clockwork God, a lot of jokes could go either way - a field of people being tortured and a woman on a blanket selling commemorative torture merch could be painfully try-hard. But something about the victims being seemingly everyone ever crucified or broken on the wheel in a famous painting, and having them writhe on their crosses in a way that is both gruesome and goofy, and having a cacophonous soundtrack of their screams and moans that you will now imagine every time you look at one of those elegantly elegiac paintings from now on... it works. That the music score is being played by an extremely jaunty piper who dances behind you just out of sword's reach as you traverse the field pushes it over the top.

Oh, and the puzzles, while never hair-pullingly obtuse, will leave you stumped at times. Push past that to get the proper ending, but, if you're sick of trying, you can, at any point, just start stabbing your way through problems. Which, again: it takes a very deft touch to make "protagonist resorts to violence" actually funny rather than lazy and obvious. And maybe, in another game, the perfect timing of every animation, the clever quips, the careful contrast of cathedrals and high-society music halls with gleeful sword-swinging wouldn't be enough. But something about it being frickin' Renaissance paintings carries it the last mile.

This is probably the basest game of the three, but it's also the one that made me giggle the most. Having a BFA that required several art history classes may have something to do with it. But check this thing out.

#capsule review #darkside detective #lair of the clockwork god #procession to calvary

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cozy-neko · 4 years ago

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The Cherry On Top • 02 • 03 | Charity stream disaster • 04

Kenma checked his stream overlay one last time to make sure everything was set up correctly. The streamer was only ten minutes away from his scheduled 24-hour charity stream that Akaashi had set up for him in partnership with the energy drink company, Black Sheep. For every donation Kenma receives during his live stream, all proceeds will be 100% donated to help animal shelters in need of supplies.

For once, Kenma was actually excited about a partnership. As a lover of cats and raising three rescues himself, it wasn’t particularly a hard decision for Kenma to make when Black Sheep had approached him and brought up the idea of a partnership and a charity stream campaign in conjunction with the animal shelter Black Sheep was associated with.

That was why when his sponsorship with Black Sheep had been threatened by a rumor, Kenma ultimately made a public announcement to deny the rumor and personally reached out to the PR/Influencer team at Black Sheep to talk it out with them.

Now, three minutes prior to going live, Kenma’s phone buzzed multiple times. He glanced at the lit up screen and rolled his eyes. It was Kuroo who was blowing up his phone, and Kenma had a fairly decent idea of what the texts were about.

Last week, Kuroo and Kenma had met up with Akaashi and Bokuto for their monthly dinner meet up when Akaashi had mentioned Kenma’s upcoming charity stream.

“A 24-hour stream is too easy for Kenma; the gremlin routinely stays up at least 36-hours once a week anyways.” Kuroo let out a barking laugh as he flipped the meat that was grilling in front of the four friends.

“That’s besides the point, Kuroo.” Kenma rolled his eyes and leaned back in the vinyl booth. “I’m doing a charity stream. All donations I get during the stream goes towards the animal shelter that Black Sheep partners with.” Kenma made sure to slowly emphasize the word “charity” when he explained his upcoming project.

“You know, I’ve never seen Kenma so excited about a project,” Bokuto quipped as he eagerly tucked into his meal.

“It’s for a good cause and Kozume was quick to say yes,” Akaashi added as he flashed a small smile towards the flushed streamer. Kenma still wasn’t used to hearing people praise him, no matter how often he was always featured in esports commentary and articles.

“I have three cat rescues myself, so it was a no brainer,” he mumbled, averting eye contact. He opted to push around the burnt pieces of meat with his chopsticks around his plate instead.

“Aw, you’re embarrassed that you got caught being openly excited for your next project!” Kuroo smirked and nudged his friend. It was all friendly-banter, and Kenma knew that Kuroo meant well and was extremely happy for him, but he flushed harder as Bokuto and Akaashi chimed in to cheer on their friend.

“I’m just being a nice person. Maybe you should try it some day,” Kenma shot back.

“What do you mean?” Kuroo scoffed. “I’m always a nice person.”

Akaashi and Kenma rolled their eyes at Kuroo while Bokuto let out a good-natured laugh at Kuroo’s response.

“Hey, wait! You know what you should do to make your 24-hour stream more spicy?” There was a mischievous glint in Bokuto’s eyes as he waited for his friends to respond.

“Bokuto-san, whatever you’re thinking probably isn’t a go--”

“Drunk 24-hour stream!”

“Oh, nice!” Kuroo snapped his fingers and grinned his infamous Cheshire Cat smirk. Akaashi sighed and Kenma grimaced.

"I’m not going to take ideas from two drunks. And we barely sat down to eat, how are you two this drunk already?” Kenma wrinkled his nose.

Kenma unlocked his phone and quickly scanned through his group chat. Yup. There it was: a barrage of texts from Kuroo asking Kenma if he had his booze ready followed by a spam of suggestive eye emojis by Bokuto. Kenma was quick to notice that Akaashi had purposely chosen to ignore the group texts and offered no help in diverting the suggestions.

Kenma snorted quietly at Bokuto's message as he locked his phone. He looked up at the monitor to his right and read some comments that were starting to flood in his stream chat. He gave his camera a small smile and leaned back in his chair, answering some questions that caught his attention and saying "hi" to others.

Kenma usually liked to start his stream off rather chill by interacting with his viewers. After playing his music playlist and adjusting the volume, he finally announced his agenda for the day after a few minutes.

"Today I'm partnering with Black Sheep for a charity stream. It's going to be a 24-hour stream and we're gonna spend most of the time playing some League. All donations I get will go towards helping an animal shelter which you guys know I'm all for." Kenma paused as his donation notification sounded and his text-to-speech setting began to read the donation to him and his viewers.

"meowriachi donated $25: 24-hour stream? too ezpz kodzuken"

Kenma laughed and ran a hand through his messy half-up styled hair.

"I was telling my friends about today's stream and Kuroo said the same thing. Maybe in our next collaboration we'll do a longer stream if you guys want that. We'll also be able to have more fun and do more things, too."

Kenma was smart and sneaky. He always was. Kuroo did always say he was the brains of the team back in high school when they played volleyball together. Kenma was good at analyzing situations, and because of this strength, Kenma knew when to use certain words and situations to create benefits for him and his career. This was no exception. The streamer knew Black Sheep would be moderating his stream, so now the company had slight pressure to partner with him again if there was an in demand from his fans. And this was Kodzuken we were talking about. There was no doubt Kenma knew there would already be a second sponsorship in the works.

Kenma smirked. Easy peasy stream indeed.

Kenma loved his job. He truly did. It wasn't every day someone could wake up every day and actually look forward to going to work, and for that, Kenma was thankful. He was thankful that he had the skillsets to do well in competitive gaming and that he had a knack of being able to pick up mechanics of new games so easily. He was thankful that he had a fanbase that enjoyed his commentary and sarcastic humor, and a fanbase that supported and helped him build his brand from ground up.

Kenma knew he owed one-third of his success to his fans and another one-third to his own hard work and passion. But Kenma also knew he owed the last one-third of his success to his friends.

Not once did Kenma regret making Akaashi his manager; Akaashi had gotten him way more sponsorships than Kenma himself could've if he was still balancing streaming, content creation, and managing his own projects.

Kenma was thankful for Kuroo for always challenging him to step outside his comfort zone. Even when Kenma was irritated and didn't want to hear Kuroo's words of advice and encouragement, Kenma was still grateful for it all.

And Bokuto. Kenma guesses he can be thankful for Bokuto for always hyping him up when he needed it the most. Especially when he was extremely hung over from a night out of (forced) drinking and had barely ten minutes to wake up and set up his stream on time.

Yes, Kenma was truly thankful for his friends. But right now, Kenma wanted to kill them. He wanted to kill Kuroo and Bokuto for coming over to his house uninvited even after he warned them not to and for raiding his stream in real life.

Right now, Kenma was seething. One, he was in the middle of a very important sponsorship deal. Two, he was in the middle of a ranked game in League of Legends and he didn't want to lose his winning streak. And three, his two goofball friends had showed up to his house with alcohol and announced out loud to his viewers that Kenma would now be participating in a drunk 24-hour stream.

Kenma doesn't remember the last time he got this mad. What's worse was that Kenma's fans were all for it. His stream chat was getting spammed with poggers emotes, and it was difficult for Kenma to admit that he had been getting more and more donations ever since Kuroo and Bokuto had shown up and the alcohol was brought out. And because of that, Kenma had begrudgingly surrendered and cracked open a White Claw.

Except he didn't stop only at one; not if Kuroo and Bokuto could help it. And at only about 5'8" with a smaller build, Kenma unfortunately fell victim to being a lightweight. And with Kuroo and Bokuto, kings of being instigators, were there to egg him on along with his stream chat, Kenma downed can after can.

Just a little something to take the edge off a work week, right?

end notes:

→ kenma’s twitch stream took me 30 minutes to piece together 😪

→ if you see the same comments on kenma’s twitch chat twice... no you didn’t 😀🔪

→ also peep the stream title change 👀

→ kenma’s the type to use scuffed candids of his friends as their contact photos, but it didn’t work out too well. he actually respects akaashi enough to use a decent photo, and bokuto never takes a bad photo. ever. i guess kuroo’s the only one he can easily clown.

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marshthat · 4 years ago

Note

I'm here for the 16-pages essay about Mace and Eeth :)

LMAO well you asked for that yourself hshsjhsjj *cracks knuckles*

It’s almoust 16 pages long in my google docs, I’m not kidding, so I’m gonna make a little intro and then hide the rest under the “keep reading” thing (also I’m going to shorten it a bit, but nothing significant will be left out, I promise)

Uhm so yes three things for the intro:

1. These takes are based mainly on my ship interpretation of the canon things, so yeah if you don’t want to see the ship material in them they can be easily disagreed with in terms of how correct I see the intentions of the characters behind their words and actions, but BUT you’re here for macekoth aren’t you? So for a macekoth shipper this is a list of totally canon endless happiness and we’ll go with that :)

2. LEGENDS CANON IS CANON (in my heart there is no decanonising of the EU, nooo, I pretend disney didn’t hurt me qwq)

3. I'm not a native speaker and my english is far from perfect so if you think I’m talking strange - yes I am, I’m sorry, but yeah, that’s how we’re rolling here.

And now - moving on to the essay. I will take random pieces of media one by one and explain why exactly I see Mace/Eeth there.

As I call this, “Fantastic MaceKoth hints and interactions, and where to find them”

Star Wars 13: Emissaries to Malastare, Part 1

So, what do we see here? Oooooh, the Concordance of Fealty. In general, the exchange of lightsabers is a very interesting phenomenon in the Jedi Order, and not only because no one remembered it existing before Macekoth decided to engage in one (because there are not known participants in the timeline BEFORE Mace and Eeth, while there are some AFTER) , but also because of its significance. The Concordance of Fealty is said to establish a “master-less learning relationship” between the two Jedi, i.e., a Force-bond that, if not superior, is equally as close and strong as the bond of a master and a padawan, which is said to be the closest bond possible in the Order.

As you see, this ritual required deep mutual trust from both its participants, and here's why: the exchange. of. the lightsabers. I will repeat it once more and even emphasise: THE EXCHANGE. OF. THE LIGHTSABERS.

As Anakin Skywalker said in “The Clone Wars” and Obi-Wan Kenobi said in the “Attack of the Clones”, a lightsaber is a Jedi's life, a thing that one should not part with under any circumstances. And what is the Concordance requiring? Exactly this. Giving away your lightsaber. A voluntary action of entrusting your saber, a product of your own hands, a part of yourself, to another sentient. This act of trust can have a very deep meaning, deep subtext to it, if you want it to.

I’m not saying the Concordance has a romantic subtext to it in general, no - but once again, I’m insisting that if someone wanted it to have a romantic subtext, he had the full freedom to pull a hecking legal jedi WEDDING under the cover story of this ritual. Why a wedding? Let’s dig a bit more in the comic page above. How it is depicted, such an exchange of the lightsabers looks suspiciously similar to the exchange of the wedding rings between the spouses. So making a guess that probably by engaging in the Concordance Mace and Eeth tried to pull off a legal wedding within the walls of the Temple in this disguised way seems like a fairly logical assumption. In addition, given that this ritual is stated to be very ancient and therefore long-forgotten, it is not surprising that a very bold plan like that in fact worked right in front of Yoda’s salad.

In addition, you should pay attention to the form in which these vows of the Concordance sound. Especially this "until one or both of us becomes One with the Force." line. Very very much like the real wedding vows that spouses say before the altar, huh?))) (For example, I’ll leave this link to the site with some sample wedding vows)

Besides, the fact that Mace had made actual EFFORT to find this Concordance ritual is so priceless by itself. However, here I tend to think that it was master T'ra Saa who suggested to Mace to search for the ritual and its details, and here are the reasons why. Master Saa: 1) was in the age of about a thousand of years by the time of TPM because of being a neti (i.e. realistically could be the only one in the Order left who could have remembered this Concordance of Fealty) 2) had her own experience of a romantic relationship, with master Tholme (i.e. she understood the issue of new feelings born between the two Jedi more than the most) 3) T'ra looked after Mace a lot when he was young, so she was literally his mother figure, and to whom can a poor confused with his romantic feelings jedi master go, if not to his tree mom? :З

Shatterpoint (novel) — M. Stover

Here I want to go back to what I said about “the lightsaber is part of the Jedi.” In Stover's novel, there is an episode where Mace looks at Depa Billaba's saber and speculates about whether she could have given it to Nick Rostu voluntarily.

Mace is mentioning the Concordance of Fealty in this novel too!

The curious thing is that Mace asks “Would she give away part of herself?" So, firstly, by this he is confirming that the Concordance implies exactly this act of mutual trust (what I talked about in the previous part), and secondly, he is hinting that since he did perform this ritual with Eeth Koth, it means that he, Mace Windu, willingly entrusted a part of himself to the hands of the zabrak. (and this is HIS interpretation of what the Concordance means to HIM) Isn't that an act of true love?)

Jedi Council: Acts of War, Part 3

Here is a peculiar moment in the comic - when the two groups of the Jedi join together in the final battle to confront the enemy yinchorri army, both Mace and Eeth separate each other's names from the rest of the group when talking about several fellow Jedi at once. And if Eeth can have a reason for this, because Mace was the leader of this whole mission in the first place, Mace himself still doesn’t have any rational reasons to underline exactly Eeth’s name (and in the background of the second frame you can see that the first one to run in the battlefield is also not Eeth, which excludes the possibility of identifying Koth as just running the first).

What I want to say by this is that they just subconsciously separate each other's names, because their first thoughts, of course, focus on their dear beloved, and only then they add “and others”. Also I want to say that consider that MASTER MACE WINDU, the man of the “less talking, more doing” standarts, in the middle of the battle actually FOUND some time to stop and ask how his dear Eeth is doing.

Republic 65: Show of Force, Part 1

In this comic there is not an interaction, but a hint, but even if it's not the most obvious and outstanding, it is still worth mentioning.

Mace returns T'ra her lightsaber, which she lost during the previous battle, and a curious dialogue happens between them.

Master Saa says that the saber is just a tool that one shouldn’t get attached to. And that Mace SHOULD know that. Personally, I see this here as a direct reference to the Concordance of Fealty (which by the time of this comic has been already completed ten years earlier), and as a confirmation that T'ra Saa knows about the nature of the relationship between master Windu and master Koth.

What I think Mace’s tree mom is saying between the lines here: “you shouldn't get attached to a lightsaber. You once owned Eeth Koth’s saber, Mace, so you understand that by "lightsaber" I mean Eeth Koth himself. And you remember that attachments are still forbidden in the Jedi Order, so be careful there with your little horned husband, son."

Given that the events of this comic take place during the Clone Wars, this means that there has already happened the battle on the Petranaki Arena on Geonosis, where Eeth’s LAAT/i exploded in front of Mace’s eyes. ( This thing blowing up in aotc is the LAAT/i on which were Eeth Koth, Sora Bulq and Tarados Gon )

And perhaps he did spend too much time near the zabrak’s bacta tank afterwards and it gave birth to some rumors or concerns - and that is what T'ra Saa hints at. (also, the timeline of this comic is listed as 21 bby, which does not exclude the possibility of also the battle of Korriban already happened, where Eeth nearly died again, and even the torture of Eeth in Grievous’s hands too, which only gives Mace more reasons to go over his usual reserved boundaries in his wish to comfort and protect his beloved)

Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones

A very interesting thing is in one of the deleted scenes of " Attack of the Clones”. And yes, another hint, but wait, some more interaction are coming later. And for now... I'm of course talking about this scene of the conversation between Mace Windu and Obi-Wan Kenobi before the latter's departure to Kamino. In this scene, Kenobi expresses his concern that Anakin has a strong attachment to the senator from Naboo, and this attachment may cause some troubles for him when serving his duty as a Jedi and as her guardian. And let’s try to think about the reaction of Windu himself to this statement and how we can interpretate it: 1) He is not surprised by the news on Anakin's attachment, and accepts it very calmly. 2) In this scene, it is actually Windu who calms down panicking Obi-Wan with the words "you must believe that he will make the right choice”, and not vice versa.

What can this mean?

This can mean that Mace is not only not at all shocked by Skywalker's forbidden attachment, but on the contrary, supports Anakin and gives him a chance to make the right choice. I mean, Mace doesn't judge Anakin, Mace sympathizes with the young man in love and he trusts him. It’s a fair assumption that Windu himself most likely has an experience of such a situation, to which he compares the Skywalker’s issue and makes his conclusion, isn’t it?

To sum up? In this scene, Windu may be probably recalling his own special bond with _someone_, and, drawing from it the conclusion that a Jedi CAN perfectly fulfil his duties even if he has romantic feelings, advises Obi-Wan to trust his padawan with this.

Grievous Intrigue — Star Wars: the Clone Wars 2x09

A small, but very a cute detail: in the episode when a hologram is shown to the Jedi Council, on which general Grievous tortures Eeth Koth and promises the zabrak jedi master "endless suffering” Mace Windu clenches his fists in the background.

And how much was said about the Jedi acceptance, the fortitude, the “letting go of emotions in the Force”… But what acceptance could be here when your small tender husband is being cruelly tortured with the electrostaff???

Before the holotransmition / / after the holotransmition

Star Wars: Zam Wesell

Here is a moment I spotted in this comics: when masters Rancisis and Koth both speak up during a Council meeting, Eeth is the first one Mace answers to. I know that this can seem a little bit weak as an argument but add to this THAT stare Koth gives Windu when applying for being the Alderaan guard.

Yes, exactly. THAT kind of stare right here ( ͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ ° )

I mean, seriously, man, stop flirting with your Master of the Order husband right in the middle of the meeting! We know that on Alderaan they make one of the best sorts of wine in the whole galaxy, and you want to offer a date, but calm down a bit please, okay? You don’t want to get caught, right?)))

Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace

No, well, but there is no excuse for the fact that in the background during the scene of the Council meeting before sending Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi to Naboo as an escort for queen Amidala, Eeth is sitting in exactly the same way in which you could see Windu sitting himself on some of the TPM photos. That's all, that’s like the final proof that Eeth is a stupid husband and in love with his partner. Because one of the forms of love language? Yes, the one with interest copying, when a person is copying the gestures, the stature and the movements of whom he’s interested in, u-hum.

Eeth really have no, NO excuse for that, I swear

Bonus: The seats on the High Council

As one very wise person on twitter had once said,

This person was referring to Plo Koon and Kit Fisto tho, but I tell you what, this also applies very much to Mace Windu and Eeth Koth. So here is Mace and Eeth on the Council staring at each other after a holotransmition!

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gildedmuse · 4 years ago

Text

Anonymous asked:

do you like any of the one piece manga colorspreads? if yes, which ones?

(Apparently you cannot answer questions more than once which seems like a flaw. People can always change their mind.

Let's see, where did I leave off? Oh that's right. the Strawhats are a acid punk rock band now . So the obvious next step is...

Devil Fruit's Angels

That's right, in this universe the Strawhats aren't marauders of the sea. They're marauders of the open road.

Look at this badass biker gang. And I'm not abbreviating for motorcycles. Luffy heard there were such a thing as a biker gang and took it very literally. Best of all, he got eight people to go along with this.

Eventually, he accidentally tore the bottom wheel rim from his bike, the Going Merry, but then they met Franky and since he was unaware of Luffy's stupidity innocence at this time, he built him an actual damn motorcycle. Zoro painted the sidecar to look like a shark (okay technically Usopp did the painting and Zoro bitched about it but he loves it if anyone scratches that paint job they immediately find themselves with their blades in their face). He just lays there, sleeping, sometimes doing weights while letting Luffy drive a fucking motorcycle.

Love that Nami weighed up her choices and her and Robin decide to ride with Usopp. Let's face it, he is easily the most responsible rider. Well, that's why Nami choose him. Chopper has two designated seats: Usopp's basket and Zoro's lap. So of course Robin has to sit where she can see Chopper.

Also, LOOK HOW FUCKING CUTE CHOPPER IS IN A BASKET.

Brook seems to be riding a penny farthing which is pretty amazing. He probably just had one in his garage from his youth. Sanji has wisely decided to ride backwards bitchseat so that smoke doesn't fly back in his own face. I am unable to see what Franky is driving. I assume his bottom half turns into a motorcycle. I mean why not?

The Strawhat Gang does pretty much the exact same shit they do as Pirates. I mean, Luffy even falls into water just as often. How? It's Luffy that's how.

Law's little group of anarchist ride around in a yellow Volkswagen Beetle. Fight me.

Winter Wonder Island

IS THAT PENGUIN WEARING ZORO'S HARAMAKI? HOW DID HE GET IT? DIES ZORO KNOW? DID HE GIVE OT TO HIM? DID ZORO THINK THE PENGUIN'S BELLY MIGHT BE COLD?

I love Nami and Chopper playing, though Chopper looks less pleased. Plus the polar bear and Luffy are just the same person/bear. And nothing can convince me Robin isn't currently getting a back massage by a walrus. That is how my bitch roles.

The Straw Helmets

And we're back to the AUs.

Total honesty time: I picked this less put of love (though I enjoy most the AU ones) and more to annoy a friend.. See, I know many a Norwegian. They are a super nice country, you guys.

Who get super pissed at popular depictions of Vikings. Which are wrong.

And yet this particular reimagining is so wrong it's like gone full circle. I mean it's still nowhere near accurate but damn is it awesome. Are they riding walruses? Oda knows the Vikings had horses, right? And reindeer?

And yet he's gone with the well known domestic walrus. Huh. It's a choice.

Honestly, Franky and Usopp's costumes look more gladiator than Viking (also, I know you are a pervert Franky, but you literally gonna die of hypothermia.) Chopper is apparently one of those famous Japaness Vikings based on his costume design while Luffy is wearing something I can 100% imagine Doflamingo owned at some point. And Zoro....

Well, there is a reason I have a tag called Zoro's sense of direction and/or fashion. Look at that thing. That is a mess. I love it.

Get Wet

Nami, babe, me, Brook, Sanji, and apparently Robin a appreciate how sexy you're being right now.

But all I see is Zoro's damn fine back with water forming little riblets around his muscles. Also, love the boy's smile as he watches Luffy. He totally knows what's about to go down and thinks it's fucking hilarious.

They Call It The Grand Line

Every member of the coward trio (plus guest member Brook) is freaking the fuck out and I love it. Chopper and Nami are cling to one another, Brook's soul has left his body, and I'm pretty certain Usopp has half climbed into the seat in front of him to grab Zoro. Which I cannot blame him for.

Meanwhile, Robin is watching this whole spectacle with mild amusement, Sanji is straight up grilling... While on the back of a rollar coaster, Franky is chowing down on some of that food and Zoro... Zoro is getting drunk. On a rollar coaster.

The only one who seems to be having any fun is Luffy, sitting, of course, on his special seat. Look at that kid, he's having a blast. Well now we know how all the other Strawhats ended up here.

A Game Of Chicken

There's a lot I could say about this picture, but all I'm going to say is this: Zoro is clearly riding a weird ass chocobo.

What else can beat that?

Pirate Olympics: Where Everyone Is Winner Wanted Man

Oh, look, it's another AU one!

Look, over all, everyone has a sport that is either well suited to them (except maybe Brook. I mean soccer? Really? Not, like short distance sprinting since he's the fastest strawhat or fencing? If it were winter he could participate in the skeleton - yohohoho!).

Let's just amire Zoro playing baseball THREE BAT STYLE. LIke a goddamn boss.

You Know What's Awesome? Drugs.

It doesn't even matter what's going on in this one, it's goddamn beautiful.

Just Another Sunny Day

[You know when I said I haven't read the manga yet? Well, also terrible with visual images - the world should be in words in my opinion. So this, it turns out, is not a colorspread but fanart by the very talented Frayten who I deeply apologize to for not crediting earlier. I'm keeping it though, because it's amazing art, it's been reblogged and at least now it's properly credit on the main post. Many thanks to @blueriza to for being a better fan than I am.]

I really enjoy this little switch up. I want to believe it isn't just Law fucking with them but they've all inhaled some kind of mind switching pollen of something. So one day Law just came out to find Robin making breakfast and heart eyes at all the men, Sanji eating nothing but meet and bouncing around like he was made of rubber, Franky trying to play the violin, Chopper taling wild stories about when he was captain, Usopp training for a couple hours before passing out, Brook worrying over everyone's health, Nami striking posed while talking about how SUPER it all is, and Luffy, for once in his life, perfectly calm as he sits there reading.

That would be hilarious but, yeah, obviously it was Law. Look at how Nami Zoro is threatening him. She know exactly who pulled this shit. And look at Law's smug little smirk.

Hey, you suppose Law flirted with Nami Zoro? I know it's Nami but she's still got Zoro's abs and ass. Just throwing that out there.

#the strawhats with heart #ask and you shall receive #one piece manga #one piece colorspread #one piece crossover #trafalgar d. water law #trafalgar law #roronoa zoro #cyborg franky #monkey d. luffy #tony tony chopper #nico robin #sanji vinsmoke #nami #usopp #one piece #one piece au

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selfcareparker · 4 years ago

Note

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡��🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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m4tsuk4ze · 3 years ago

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Naoyuta and why I can't stop thinking about it

Naoyuta ( Naoyuu / Yuunao ) is the ship between Naoya Kido and Yuta Matsukaze. Now this post will just be me ranting about Naoyuta and why people in the community should talk about it more.

[ Quick warning : I AM Yuta so I will be referring to myself in the first person during this whole post. Also, if you reply, please do not mention anything about Kosu/Yuu because I can literally explain how that's never going to happen and why I'm so uncomfortable about it ]

Part 1 : A Pair of Nerds

I ( Yuta ) am a surfer from Shōnan who was born and raised at my parent's surfing shop. Naoya is a surfer from Oita. Through dialogue, it's revealed that I've known Naoya longer than he's known me. Our first meeting was either at the cafe where he got Miruru merch from [ WAVE!! 4-koma ], where he met both me and Kosuke twice, but never had a proper conversation, we only told him that he can have our coasters and cards. Or at my surf shop, where Naoya came in to check out a necklace he saw [ Yuta Matsukaze - Analysis During Shop Duty ].

Our feelings towards each other are unknown, as the full relationship chart only says "?". Meanwhile, the character relationship charts have our opinions on each other. Though, from the mmm relationship chart, me and Naoya are shown to be confused with each other, "Miruru...?" "Megane character...?".

Part 2 : Next to each other.

As the 5th and 6th characters in the roster, me and Naoya are constantly paired together in promotional works and songs. Though, that's not as important as our actual relationship to each other.

We don't get to see much in the anime, though there have been a lot of interactions outside of it that shows that we're not as far apart as we seem.

From the [ WAVE!! 4-koma ], it's shown that me and Naoya has spent a couple of days together. In one comic, I was spending my whole day with him to figure out how he's so amazing at surfing. We ended up only watching anime, which made my notes fill up with data about Miruru. That databook was then given to Naoya. Something interesting is how the narrator said "There was no data collected, but the distance between their hearts did shorten."

On the game story [ Yuta Matsukaze - Analysis During Shop Duty ], I said a line that could be interpreted as falling in love or gaining interest, "At first, I was just supposed to guard the store. But before I knew it, I was..." In the same story, I also told Naoya that I've been watching him for over a year ( to which he called me a stalker, but that's fair i guess ), though it was Naoya telling me that he didn't mind me talking so much.

Naoya, meanwhile, doesn't give us much. He's said I was different on multiple occasions, on the character relationship charts ( which we will get to later ) and in the story [ Naoya Kido - The Secret of the Notebook ], where he said "…… Hinaoka-senshu is not ready yet. But Matsukaze-senshu is different." when it came to names for techniques. Naoya has also became really enthusiastic when I told him that I would probably move to Tokyo after high school [ WAVE!! 4-koma ]. We also got a close up shot of Naoya being worried for me during my heat with Fuke----

Also, a friend of mine theorised that the promotional SURFDAYS illustrations, the ways we're holding our surfboards are the way we'll hold our significant others...... So in terms of being next to each other,,,

Part 3 : Annoying?!

Now on to those character relationship charts.

On my relationship chart :

Y -> N : "He gets really excited when we're in Tokyo"

N -> Y : "I'd rather watch the latest Miruru episode than listen to your data."

On Naoya's relationship chart :

Y -> N : "His Miruru fan-ness gets annoying."

N -> Y : "He's a little different from the megane characters I know."

So yes, not that positive.... Though, despite me finding his love for Miruru a little annoying, it doesn't stop me from looking out for him. On the game event story [ Chocolate Securing Plan ], Nalu reveals that I've been telling him about Naoya. Nalu said that I told him not to touch the truth about Miruru, or basically, not to reality check him. This came up when Sho almost told Naoya about how fictional characters can't make real life chocolate.

Part 4 : Trivia and Hints

Me alerting Bill as to why Naoya isn't going to participate in the Forest Cup [ WAVE!! 4-koma ]

Me being the first to try and help Naoya after seeing him sad because the anime isn't going to stream in his city [ WAVE!! 4-koma ]

Me saying that I need Naoya in Shōnan after finding out how Naoya could actually make Kosuke take a break [ WAVE!! 4-koma ]

Me falling more into interest with Naoya after finding out how he is towards 2D and 3D girls [ Naoya Kido - 2D and 3D ]

Me itching to talk to him after seeing him at the beach [ Naoya Kido - The Secret of the Notebook ]

Me being the most worried when mine and Masaki's plan to give Naoya Miruru Dried Sweet Potatoes failed [ Naoya's Birthday Post 2020 ]

Naoya saying he doesn't mind that I talk a lot and that I'm just enthusiastic [ Yuta Matsukaze - Analysis During Store Duty ]

Naoya actually laughing and blushing at whatever the fuck I'm showing him [ WAVE!! Surfing Yappe!! Vol.2 DVD Cover ]

Part 5 : Yuta's Thoughts

Yeah so far it seems somewhat one-sided. I've shown a lot of interest towards Naoya in multiple different stories. Though there's much on him towards me. It's not something I mind though. In the stories, Naoya has shown to be kind towards me, though sometimes sarcastic and straightforward. He's a really interesting person and I'm glad that I could figure him out piece by piece. In the end, we still feel very far apart.

Yet, despite our distance and somewhat distaste for each other, we also have a lot of similarities. First of all, we're both described as nerds. But we also have shown to be the most perceptive out of the whole group, other similarities is that we can't seem to fucking shut up about our interests, and we also treasure our friends very much.

Part 6 : Final Thoughts

Anyways Naoyuta is a great ship, fuck you nerd x nerd is superior I don't want to hear anyone say shit about it. Also pink and green literally amazing, the colour palette is just spectacular, I cannot shut up about it.

This is dedicated to the first showing of Shonan the WAVE!! which will be streamed on the LOVE&ART official YouTube channel featuring both mine and Naoya's seiyuus, Yusuke Shirai and Shunichi Toki, on Friday 21st of May at 21:00 JST

Manifesting a Naoyuta drama but who knows.

Also WAVE!! Wonderful Party has a clip,,, It might be from a drama featuring the both of us or it could be something else. If it's the former then WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID I FUCKING MOAN AFTER NAOYA SAID SOMETHING ABOUT LAUNCHING SOMETHING [ CONTEXT PLEASE ]

Anyways have a great day, this was Yuta Matsukaze ranting about his own relationship and being gay as fuck so I hope you enjoyed reading it.

To leave off this post, I'll be sharing some art. And that's it, thank you for reading, goodbye for now!

- m4tsuk4ze || Yūta

Part 7 : Naoyuta so true

#wave surfing yappe #wave project #wave naminori boys #naminori boys #yuta matsukaze #matsukaze yuta #naoya kido #kido naoya #naoyuta #me in the gay

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2018shawn · 5 years ago

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prohibited | th x oc

If you grab a dictionary and look up the word ‘inconvenience’,

you’ll find Tom Holland’s name printed in huge, bold letters.

a/n: yoooo I actually forgot I wrote this so I'm pretty nervous about posting it actually. this is obvs gonna be a multi-part fic, no idea how many parts lmao. any feedback appreciated 💓

warnings: none

troupe: strangers → f.w.b → lovers (aka a rocky road)

word count: 1.7k

⌜intro⌟

One of Evie’s most annoying habits, and believe me, she’s been told more than enough times to know, is biting the end of her pen - or pencil - and twisting the plastic cap in-between her teeth. She’d done it since she could remember, it was just a way of releasing tension and nerves, but, considering it’s her boss’s pet hate and he picked up on it every time he entered the room, she really needed to nip it in the bud.

Evie twirled the black biro in between her index finger and thumb, the lid rattling against her teeth as she sunk further into the chair. Her chair was almost central in the line, pulled up to the longest conference table she’d ever seen in what she believed to be the largest meeting room of the building, and boy is it a gigantic building. “Lindsay on sixth floor said we’re finding out some new big ass movie plot,” Evie’s colleague and friend, Paris, whispered whilst leaning over to her chair from her own. Evie and Paris had been tight ever since she’d started as an intern after leaving school, she almost took her under her wing, showed her the ropes - even went as far as showing her where the fancy coffee capsules were kept. Evie soon learnt that coffee was very much needed when you worked at Sony Picture Entertainment, fancy capsules or not.

“Yeah well, Lindsay on sixth floor also said Tom Hardy tried to follow her into the ladies bathroom...” She rolled her eyes and turned to her friend, who simply shrugged and pulled away, sitting back straight in her chair. The door to the meeting room buzzed open, a key card access needed for entrance and everyone’s quiet muttering and speculations came to an immediate dead silence.

Much like the rest of the room, Evie straightened her back, crossing her legs underneath the table in an attempt to sit as presentable and professional as possible. As quick as everyone poised themselves into business mode, they relaxed just as quick. Maria, the super cute food and drinks assistant, who always snuck Evie an extra piece of bacon in her Friday morning sandwich, rolled in her trolley, laughing at the unsubtle atmosphere from the participants in the room. Paris leant over to Everly again, her blonde hair falling in between them both. “Champagne?” Her aggressive whisper drew more attention than she’d wanted, resulting in everyone else concentrating on the huge and expensive looking bottles of fizz on Maria’s trolley.

Evie’s mouth pulled to the side in confusion, knowing that Champagne only came out on the most appropriate of occasions. Maria set up her display, making sure the champagne flutes were crystal clear as she delicately placed them on the serving table. Another 5 or so minutes of muffled chat and theorising went by when the buzzer sounded again, only this time it wasn’t Maria and her trolley of tricks.

The amount of nerves that filled the room were uncountable as Mr. Big Boss walked in, otherwise known as Michael Stud. Michael Stud had intimidated Evie, since way back when, but she wasn’t the only one who felt like that. It was normal to be scared of your boss, sure, but when he came storming down your office hallways just because someone from the floor had tweeted about a movie review - it was extra scary. Said twitter user was never seen in the offices again, FYI.

Michael Stud wasn't alone. Behind him followed a small bundle of five individuals, talking and laughing amongst themselves, which made a nice contrast from the extremely silent room. Evie pulled the lapels of her spring coloured suit jacket together, trying to cover the stupid slogan tee-shirt and she suddenly wishes she picked the formal white shirt this morning. She also wishes she opted for a nice pair of heels instead of the white, canvas converse that she tucked under her chair, also in a bid to hide. Michael began with the formalities, introducing the crew behind him, some of who he offered to sit down, apart from the man with incredibly styled run-your-fingers-through hair who stay attentive at Stud’s side, eyes scanning the room as he admired all the faces in front of him.

Evie felt Paris’ presence yet again, Michael getting knee deep into the reason of why all senior department supervisors were bundled in the extremely warm room on a Thursday afternoon. “He’s been in... films n’ stuff,” she whispered, and Evie tried her hardest to remain professional, keeping eyes forward at all times. “I think maybe that tsunam...”

“Ms. Kershaw, is there something you’d like to add?” Michael asked, his eyes being the only pair that didn’t turn to face her because Michael could hear anything and anyone that would try talk over him. Evie winced, internally, lips pulling into a straight, thin line as she clicked eye contact with Miles who sat opposite. He slyly brought his hand up to his neck and mimicked running a knife across it, making it even harder for her to remain professional.

Paris shuffled awkwardly in her seat, picking up her pen and looking at her notepad as if there was going to be some miracle excuse written down on there. “Sorry, Mr Stud. I was just speaking aloud really...” Her palms were sweaty, but once she started talking she could never stop. “I thought I recognised our new friend here, and I think, maybe it’s just clicked, from that tsunami... impossible?... film?”

The handsome boy next to Michael beamed a wide smile, raising his eyebrows, “remind me to hit you up for the next pub quiz” was the first thing the young man had spoken since he’d entered the room and he even sounded attractive. Evie had dealt with her fair share of movie stars, she composed contracts for them for crying out loud, but never in her life had she come across someone who was so incredibly sexy and cute at the same time.

Luckily, Michael seemed to be in a good mood - probably something to do with the champagne announcement - and laughed along with the guest and everyone else in the room, only making Paris sink further into her chair, wanting the ground to swallow her whole. The five minute introduction felt like five years, not just for Evie but for the entire room. No thanks to Michael’s long and in depth ramblings about the man stood at the front of the room, anyone who didn’t already know learnt his name, the movies he’s been in and yes, it did include the ‘tsunami... impossible... film’ - to which Paris hid her head in her hands as everyone joint in the laughter again - and finally that he was here because he was going to be involved in the remake of something incredibly exciting. “So, everyone, meet Spider-Man!”

Joyous cheers and claps filled the room, not one person in there ashamed to say they were huge fans. Evie was most definitely not ashamed to be fan-girlling, she loved the previous movies and had always been a fan of superhero’s but she pinned that down to the fact she grew up with brothers, and chick flicks were the last thing on the movie menu. The drinks were poured and passed around, Tom giving a small speech about the usual - how grateful and excited he was to be working with everyone, how he couldn’t wait to get started and put his take on the classic.

Tom was his usual, charming self as he made his way around the room to meet everyone and introduce himself; all the time keeping an eye on the girl in the yellow suit. He admired the way she looked smart and professional, but also how her converse and tee shirt brought her back down to normal level. He loved the way her caramel hair hung in loose curls from her pony tail, the shorter front parts of her curls framing around her face, apart from when she would reach up and took them behind her ears.

Evie kept her flute in her hand, not once taking a sip from the fizzy liquid in the glass. She wasnt one to mix business and pleasure, and considering she was head of contractual agreements, she figured she’d have to be drafting up a pretty quick signable paper for Tom to ensure he would not leak the news. Michael was big on secrets, he thought it added to the suspense of a film release. “This is our quiz buff and apparent movie researcher, Paris Kershaw,” Michael spoke, interrupting the conversation between Paris and Evie. Paris’ cheeks flushed red, once again, as Tom outstretched his hand, shaking hers firmly. He’d probably given more handshakes than he’d had hot dinners, so it was very strong and Evie couldn’t help but bite her lower lip as his bicep muscle flexed, the hem of his shirt sleeve stretched against his skin. “And this young lady, is here to make sure what happens at Sony, stays at Sony,” he smiled, holding his hand out to her to signal who he was talking about and she brought her own hand up, modestly waving and smiling. Tom outstretched his arm again and Evie reciprocated, taking his gentle offer. She thought she stopped breathing for a short second when they touched, his thumb wrapping around the back of her hand and gripping with power.

“Evie.” She smiled, realising she was yet to introduce herself, most probably embarassing herself in front of not only her boss and colleagues, but now a movie star.

Tom’s hand tugged at Evie’s arm, surprisingly to her, as she stumbled forwards, the front of her body crashing into his. “Tom.” he had smiled back in the process, as if he hadn’t been introduced a million times and was the sole reason everyone was there. His other hand snaked around Evie’s back, resting on the lower part and she became suddenly nervous, only continuing to hold onto the hand shake in the meantime. “Nice to meet you.” He added, face hovering next to hers and breath fanning against her ear. It was at that moment she got goosebumps, tensing up and only able to nod in return.

#tom holland #tom holland x oc #tom holland fanfic #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #th x oc

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