#also yeah foundational change is awesome. I love when stories have things happen

[onewomancitadel]

B/S versus W/J paralleling anon again!

Sorry for the lack of line breaks last time. My worst vice is forgetting the return key exists. 😵‍💫 I appreciate the thoughtful response in any case!

And. Since you asked. (TL;DR It’s towers all the way down, to me. Also I have zero of the fandom-standard villain->hero / enemies-to-lovers hangups because I like when characters undergo foundational change.)

I don’t feel like I needed to be convinced, honestly? Except insofar as the narrative had to set the pieces up that way. Coming to the story fairly late (after V8 wrapped, so I watched all of that in one go) and being insulated from the people who are… weird… about Jaune probably helped rhghjk

My interest in RWBY is very thematically oriented—I actually wouldn’t quibble at all that the romantic arcs are key thematic centerpieces, I think that’s absolutely true. I’m just not very romantically inclined myself, in general, so fictional romance isn’t something I get the giddy, like, dollies kissing! kind of excited for normally. The flip side of that is as long as it’s narratively compelling and the characters are interesting I’m a pretty easy sell as far as willingness to believe a romantic arc.

What *grips* me in a story is like, emotional paradigm shifts, dynamic self-image—especially in relation to family identity and definition of the self apart from one’s family. V9 has been VERY FUN for me, lol.

So my focus, with RWBY, tilts more toward the breaking and healing of parent-child bonds, whether personal (Summer + Ruby) or narrative (creators + creations). I tend to read the romantic arcs in that context. I guess a succinct way to put it would be to say I’m thinking about Ozlem in terms of Salem’s eternal exile being a second tower Ozma has been unhappily conscripted into guarding? And the point of the story ultimately is to Get Her Out Of The Tower But For Real This Time, and in the same stroke save him from being her warden.

What twigged me to Jaune/Cinder is the fractal repetition of their family situations. He has this family legacy he feels quite burdened by and feels compelled to uphold it (imitate it) even as it runs contrary to his actual self—he is not a warrior—meanwhile Cinder has only ever known family as a means of control and intends to escape the control by emulating the means.

Then they’re connected by her killing of Pyrrha, who drew out the Arc stuff in the first place and facilitated his emulation of his forefathers by training him. Then Jaune vs Cinder in V5 foreshadows the Ozlem fight in V6 and suggests the shape of that connection. & Jaune has this baked-in empathy for the feeling of being in a tower (stuck in a tree, funny how that’s coming full circle right as he confronts the brittleness of his simulated heroism).It does rather announce itself.

What grips me in a story is like, emotional paradigm shifts, dynamic self-image

See, because what's interesting to me in this case is that this is exactly what I'd describe romance as, and I prefer it over genetic family relations because it's something which exists outside a given scenario you're born into. This is the Pride & Prejudice, Jane Eyre type shit for me. And no net ensares me. This is totally paradigm-shift type stuff because it's outside everything you thought you knew.

So basically you're saying you identified Jaune/Cinder like, on your own terms, and then you found my blog? Am I gathering that correctly? Because if so, first of all, well fucking done (not trying to gas myself up here, just most people who send asks on the matter have done so because they found my blog or my fanfic pre-Knightfall). Second of all, that's crazy, because you've approached it on your own terms, and third of all, I'm so interested to hear from someone not inoculated in the fandom. I've been in the trenches since Volume 1, so the show has really transformed for me over time.

I personally didn't twig Jaune/Cinder until the end of V7, when I was near-certain Cinder's redemption arc was set-up and the story was taking her character seriously. I had speculated upon it since the end of V3/beginning of V4, but never seriously considered it to be that emotionally sincere and thoughtful lol. As you say, the fandom was and is pretty inhospitable. Frankly you're probably lucky you missed out on it, but more importantly, I'm fascinated with your experience because you clearly have a textual grip on the matter.

I think what you're describing here about intergenerational inheritance is thematically critical to the story, but I think what's forgotten in a lot of fandom spaces is that romance is a building block of family too. People get married and have babies. Ozlem got married and had babies. Obviously I care about the marriage and babies bit, but it's not like a stork dropped Ruby out of the sky (and to be honest, I want to know what's up with the team STRQ love affairs). So I suppose I'm sort of like, curious about the false binary on the matter (and I'm for a model of romance which is like... reciprocal, unconditional, non-transactional and not forced, obviously). I do agree though, I'm a huge fan of the V9 development with Ruby in particular - I might be coming at it with a slightly different angle from you, in that Ruby's awakening to spiritual aridity (and basically outright confirmation this is her Heroine's Journey) is something I personally oscillate with, and the false image of her mother is one she actually needs to break. If we get Jungian here, Summer as Ruby's persona is very potent to me, especially if Grimm!Summer Rose theory proves true. (Your mummy comes back in the worst way possible, the truth of the situation is really painful as the illusion is broken, but that is the only way to grow up).

I think what you've outlined here with Jaune and Cinder's family backgrounds is influential to the pairing, but it's not all of it in my opinion, but it is interesting that it motivated your interest - I can definitely see what are the things you find valuable in storytelling influencing your interpretation here. I think what you've described with Jaune here is my exact issue with Jaune/Weiss, though. In the past I described what my issue is with a potential Weiss love interest; frankly the boy is simply not a good arranged match and is unmarriageable to another great house. The last thing his character needs is to join a different family weighted legacy. So in this way, I think Jaune and Cinder 'meet in the middle' on this matter, as they do with everything else. If the ideas here are intentional, it's actually quite clever. Because in this sense, Cinder needs to get out from her magical evil stepmother/godmother's thumb, and so does Jaune, and they need to get married and have babies.

I know what you mean though; I do think there is a difference between you and I in the sense that I can readily write tens of thousands of words about Jaune and Cinder falling in love with each other, which is a genuinely different experience from wanting to see Ruby's relationship with her mother evolve. But by the same stroke, I enjoy all that stuff too, especially in unusual places like with Raven (the Mother of the triple goddess cycle) in respect to Cinder (a well and proper Maiden) and Qrow and Winter. Anyway, I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, because really, you're fluffing up my ego with this 'I don't ship it but I see it' business.

I don't mean to sound weird but you said 'it's towers all the way down'; I tagged a Reverse Ozlem post this like, a year or so ago. So that's some interesting memetic repetition. (I'm not saying you're copying/referencing me, I mean this in a sort of vaguely mystical way lolololol). Because yes, I do feel the Ozlem story is basically fundamental to understanding the reincarnating/repeating pattern of the show, and this is even true outside of Jaune/Cinder itself and to do with the other canon romances. I really like how you've described the Ozlem relationship here, actually; I feel like you get it.

So that is... very interesting to me. My goodness. Very enlightening indeed.

Then they’re connected by her killing of Pyrrha, who drew out the Arc stuff in the first place and facilitated his emulation of his forefathers by training him.

Yes, yes that's exactly it. That's why Pyrrha is another persona (false self), and this is especially why the sequence of Penny -> Pyrrha -> Weiss all hurting him just in this past episode is puzzling me. These are all false images, attached to a false sense of who he is, which are assaulting him. Cinder killing Pyrrha symbolically frees Jaune of this weight but it's deeply and profoundly painful (and on a broader scale, the death of Pyrrha is the death of innocence and childhood, and then you've got the fact it makes the Fall of Beacon personal to one character who's meant to have a major connection to Cinder?). But then she forces him to kill Penny, which is even further brutal development, and now he's retreated to Weiss, which again he is dispelled away from.

The problem is that I want to analyse this on terms of character development and narrative consequences, but you can't really get past 'but she's evil for killing Pyrrha :( Jaune should kill Cinder :(', and it makes the matter rather boring. So I really enjoy the opportunity of getting to interact with someone who fuckinggggg getsssss it and I don't have to censor myself speaking about the narrative. Again: I've been in this fandom on and off for too long and I've seen it all. As bad as you think it was, imagine worse. Most of the fandom has been filled with 'Pyrrha is Jaune's tragic lost love and they should be together forever and ever' for years and years, if not 'Weiss is the replacement goldfish/Ruby is the replacement goldfish/something something', and so say, with the appearance of Pyrrha this volume my stomach's in the floor because eventually you start to wonder if the chorus is right.

But on textual terms that he is literally harmed by false images is pretty on the nose.

Regarding the V5/V6 Ozlem parallel, yeah that is the clincher for me personally with the ship. Reverse Ozlem itself is what I think to be the motivating factor (here's a recent post I made about the potential in which it can evolve as), so I'm glad you picked up on that bit too because as much as I care about all the other influences (see: my masterpost) I only take those as seriously as I do because of the Ozlem matter. Like, you know, Rhodopis (proto-Cinderella) marrying Sappho's (Sapphron's) brother. That one is so fucking weird, I really can't believe it.

I appreciate this follow-up a lot, it's really fascinating for me to hear your thoughts and I think you have a lot of interesting things to say. Really, a true joy. Also, thank you for the paragraph breaks, that really saved me and I appreciate it a lot. <3 I hope you have a good one, and please stop by again.

(Original post being referenced).

[lloydfrontera]

obsessed with this (and many others) story being so dead-set on two main guys and their just absurdly close relationship and then having the balls so say NO HOMO and being so scared of having an open end so it just had to follow the heteronormativity norms. im so sick and tired of it. it just cheapens the whole things. it cheapens whatever respect there was for female characters involved, which was already not a lot because well. lets be honest yeah. i just wish these stories were self-aware enough to leave the characters alone. no relationship is better than what usually happens in these stories :( that's why im so hesitant to read the novel because im not always able to ignore such stupid literary device. im ranting to your inbox because i think you'll get it and my god i was so bitter when i was spoiled about the story's ending and the violent need to have everyone married it's hhghgghhhnng

i get it yeah. i've been deep in fandom spaces for about ten years now, this is not my first rodeo, won't be my last and i'm already used to it. doesn't mean i'm not tired of it too tho kjasdasd

and yeah i agree, at this point i'm not even really asking for a ship to be canon, i truly do believe sometimes the better option is to just have an open ending and leaving things to the imagination, but the amount of times authors feel the need to shove a last minute het romance just so they can beat the queer allegations,,, is too many to count

i think what gets me with tged is that,,, you can really take away the canon romance and nothing changes. it adds nothing to the plot, it really was something bk moon added in the last chapters purely to make it canon at the end. you could erase those bits and the general plot and characterization remains the same. it is... bad writing to be honest. like. from a purely technical standpoint that's a bad relationship, that's not how you add a romance to your plot!

but! on the other hand! the fact that it can be erased that easily does make it very easy to ignore it and focus on the good parts of the plot which are truly worth everything else aksdhskaj

it's like,, the gay equivalent of that thing marvel does where it includes their 'diversity' moments in such a way that you can cut them off and the film is still perfectly watchable. here you can cut the straight bits and you still get an awesome novel with great characters and deeply moving relationships lmao

it cheapens whatever respect there was for female characters involved, which was already not a lot because well. lets be honest yeah.

and this. yeah. Yeah. i did my fair bit of ranting when the webcomic decided to make silurian javier's love interest, retroactively fridging her for his manpain and also straight up ignoring and erasing her arc in the novel about her not needing to marry to be made heir for the city. like. they just didn't mention it. at all. what the fuck.

and then there's alicia who. the more i think about her and the way her relationship with lloyd is handled the more upset i get. she was such a cool character, with her own thing going on, her own motivations, her own worries, her own deal. and then she becomes lloyd's love interest because. well, she's literally the only important enough female character who isn't related to lloyd or already married who can do it. like. that's it.

silurian gets an entire arc about why she doesn't need to marry lloyd, sherazade marries lloyd's brother, marbella is his mom, moira basically disappears after her introduction... and that's... it, i think?? who else?? emily? the mermaid queen? i for the longest time thought raphael was a girl and was sorely disappointed to find out he was not so. yeah.

then there's the "magentano carry" title effect thing going on and,,, that's a whole mess on its own. i hate it. there's literally an otherwordly power making alicia trust lloyd. let me rephrase that. they had to force the canon love interest into giving her full trust to the main character. the very foundation of their relationship is built on her being literally unable to mistrust him because there's an external force forcing down her suspicions and doubts about him.

and we have canon confirmation that if lloyd pushes hard enough when she's already paranoid because of other factors, that effect can break and all her mistrust and wariness about the potential danger he is to the crown come back with full force and she'll declare him a traitor and go to war against him. like. that's the state of their trust and relationship when the novel is 89% done. i'm not even slightly exaggerating i literally did the math.

it's. it's just bad. it's so bad. i'm. i don't know what else to say. she didn't deserve that. lloyd didn't deserve that. we certainly didn't deserve that either.

so like. after all of this it'll sound really hypocrite of me to tell you to read the novel but. i do think it's still worth it. everything i'm talking about is. such a small part of the entire novel. which is kind of the problem but also the very reason i still think it's worth reading it.

everything else makes up for it i promise akjshdjka

[tcm]

My Time with Doris Day: An Interview with Mary Anne Barothy By Constance Cherise

In 2012, Robert Osborne interviewed a spry 90-year-old, Doris Day. He, of course, asked all the correct questions a true Day fan would be curious about: when she realized she could sing, how her career in film began and did she consider her serendipitous life to be destiny. A vibrant and gracious Day revealed that she wasn’t nervous when it came to performing, and if you have seen her first film ROMANCE ON THE HIGH SEAS (‘48), her organic ease fits like the exact correct puzzle piece. 

Although she passed almost two years ago, fans the world over still celebrate her iconic status. One of those fans is a public speaker on all things Doris, author of Day at a Time: An Indiana Girl's Sentimental Journey to Doris Day's Hollywood and Beyond, Mary Anne Barothy. Her fortune ironically played out like a classic Hollywood script, much like the beginnings of Day’s career. A devotee of Day since childhood, threads of fate connected and Barothy would find herself rubbing shoulders with Hollywood's elite, astonishingly becoming Day’s live-in secretary, maintaining an active friendship from 1967-1974. 

What was a typical day with Doris like?

Mary Anne Barothy: I lived with Doris in her Beverly Hills home after her TV show [The Doris Day Show] filming ended - December 1972 and ran through June of 1973 on CBS. Her bedroom was just opposite mine in the back. Mine was the front bedroom. She slept with seven of her dogs, and I slept with the other four – Bobo, Charlie, Rudy and Schatzie. She would get up and come into the kitchen where I often fixed her breakfast. Doris loved her dogs and spent time playing with them both indoors and out. Many days she would get ready and bike down to Nate 'N Al's Deli for a late breakfast and many times would meet someone, or we would go together for breakfast. Doris loved her fans, and she was very good about answering her fan mail. 

As you know, her passion was animal welfare and she kept up with Actors & Others for Animals and frequently attended board meetings. I went with her and was also a proud member of Actors & Others for Animals. In the summer she would swim in her pool on occasion. She would call friends and once in a while meet someone for lunch or dinner. After dinner, sometimes we would sit in one section of her living room and watch the news. Doris was very down to earth; as I said, she was like a big sister to me. To me, this was an incredible dream come true! It is still hard to believe that I had this awesome opportunity to spend precious time with my idol, Doris Day!

The designer Irene dressed her in high fashion. Did she have a favorite costume/gown?

MB: She never spoke about that, but she looked good in a bathrobe. She just had a way of radiating, looking beautiful no matter what she had on. She always said CALAMITY JANE [‘53] was her favorite movie because she was kind of a tomboy. She never came across that way except for in movies, but she liked to be comfortable. She would ride her bike with shorts on and look very casual and comfortable. I always told her she could put on a paper bag and look good! 

Now that she's passed, what would she want the world to know about her if anything?

MB: She was a down to earth person and I think some people think celebrity is high and mighty because they are in the movies, and I'd say a religious person without talking about church all the time. She had a passion for animal welfare and that was very important to her and she'd been that way apparently since she was a young person. She just enjoyed life and her friends. She wasn't one for “I've got to be seen here and I've got to do this.” Her work was her work, she'd go to the studio to do what she had to do and that was it. 

Your book recounts so many extraordinary memories including that of a conversation with Elvis. If you had to choose one pinch-me moment, what would it be?

MB: When Doris called me and asked me to come work with her. The Christmas she invited me to stay. The fact that she trusted me was so special.

What was it like waking up in your idol’s home walking outside of your room and thinking I live here now?

MB: It was surreal because I wasn't just staying a night or two, I’m staying here to the fact that I changed my address over. It was all like a movie. Here I am, actually living with her! It was meant to be. She was like a big sister. She made me feel welcome.

Do you have any memorabilia? 

MB: I have some clothes she gave me. My favorite one is the hat she wore when she met me. She gave it to me and then another hat from a movie, a skirt, and top from THE GLASS BOTTOM BOAT [1966]. She gave me a ring and an autographed Christian Science book, and that is special. I’ve got many letters and cards she gave me over the years. (Barothy reads a card) “Thanks for doing your own Christmas shopping. I love you Mairzy Doats, you’re the best there is! Always, your friend Clara.” And on the other side, it says, “Merry Christmas from the kids too!” – the dogs. “Mairzy Doats,” she’d sing that once in a while. I’ve saved a lot of these things. Of course, when I do my talks, I use copies. 

What was Beverly Hills like then? 

MB: To me, Beverly Hills, when I lived with Doris Day in her home, was a much more  relaxed city, almost small townish. Doris could ride her bike from her home four blocks down to either Bailey's Bakery or the classic Beverly Hills deli, Nate N 'Al's on Beverly Drive. No paparazzi – that would never happen today. I would see Barbara Stanwyck and Fred Astaire at the Beverly Hills Post Office, saw Rosalind Russell at Ralph's grocery, and would see Loretta Young at Good Shepherd Catholic Church. People appeared to live pretty normal lives. Beverly Hills was a welcoming community and a fun place to be, especially since I was living with Doris in her home.

What would Doris think of the world today?

MB: I think Doris would be concerned about the direction we seem to be going in. Doris was a very religious person without going to church. I learned a lot from her. With people being out of work these days, I think Doris would be very concerned about the welfare of dogs and cats and all animals. As you know, she was a strong animal advocate and was one of the founders of Actors & Others for Animals. When she moved to Carmel, California, she started her own foundation, The Doris Day Animal Foundation, and animal welfare was her number one priority.

Looking back, does it seem like this all really happened to you?

MB: Yeah, it kinda seems surreal, and friends that are big Doris fans, just say, how did that happen? I just followed my dream and that is why when I give talks, I tell people to follow your dream, don't say oh I could have or I should have; if you really believe in something go for it. All I can say it was meant to be. I drove my parents crazy and drove my teachers crazy, but I got what I wanted. I never would have dreamed that all of this would happen. I mean talk about a dream come true...unreal! “It really happened, I'm not making it up, I’ve got pictures to prove it!”

What are your plans for the future?

MB: I look forward to getting back on the road again to share my “Dream Story With Doris Day” presentations. Due to the pandemic last year, I was not able to do them as people were in lock down. Now, things are opening up and I am doing Zoom but really prefer the in-person talks where I share many photos I've taken of Doris over the years, as well as scripts and other Doris Day memorabilia. It's a fun “sentimental journey.” People can contact me through my website. 

[richincolor]

SomeThoughts about Netflix's Shadow & Bone

This past Friday, the highly anticipated Shadow and Bone series premiered on Netflix and fans of the Grishaverse all over the world logged in to watch their favs come to life. There was much discussion of the inclusion of numerous characters from throughout the Grishaverse and that diversity was a focus in the casting of the show, especially Jessie Mei Li who is biracial, therefore changing the main character’s ethnicity to biracial Shu Han. Unfortunately, that decision didn’t pay off to well due to the showrunner’s handling of Alina’s ethnicity. Twitter blew up as people shared their hurt and warned others about what to expect.

I had planned to watch the show and happened to see one such warning before I watched the series so I was prepared. I watched a couple of episodes, then called it a night. The next morning I was unsettled and reached out to my fellow contributors here on Rich in Color. No one had seen it yet, but Jessica said she was planning to as well. As we chatted, I felt that our conversation should be shared with our readers, so Jessica and I decided to write our thoughts down and have a conversation after she watched a few episodes herself.

Oh, and spoilers abound!

First off, before we dive into this conversation: Have you read the Grishaverse series? How much did you know about the story going in?

K. Imani: As everyone knows I love fantasy so I’m open to reading all sorts of fantasy books. I read the Shadow & Bone series a few years ago and enjoyed it. When the Six of Crows duology came out I read those too and actually enjoyed those better than the original series. Why - more diversity? It also expanded the world and the different perspectives of “Grisha” like folk from other cultures. It was very clear from the writing that Bardugo realized her first series was very lacking in diversity and worked hard to change it. I actually re-read both series during quarantine, so I had a fair idea of what the Netflix series would be about.

Jessica: I’ve actually never read a single Grishaverse book! I know, shocking. I only knew two things about the series going into the show: 1) Six of Crows is a heist book? 2) Ben Barnes is a person who exists.

The cast announcement for any show is always so exciting, and Shadow and Bone was no different. How did you feel about the casting -- before and after you watched the show? What did you think was done well, and what did you think could be improved?

K. Imani: Before watching the show I was actually a bit confused about some of the casting choices. I didn’t understand why 3 of the main Six of Crows characters were in the show and I honestly did not make the connection to Alina and Mal being biracial. Knowing that the Grishaverse is “Russian-based” and knowing that some ethnic Mongolians are considered Russian I just found it cool that the show cast a person who didn’t fit a Russian stereotype. Oh boy was I way off! Overall I was pleased with the casting and think all the actors did a great job. I liked the few changes they did make with casting actors of colors for other roles to round out the diversity of the world.

Bringing it back to Mal, I was confused as to if he was supposed to be coded as biracial. I missed the reference in the show, but I did read somewhere that he was supposed to be as well and that is what bonded him to Alina. If that’s the case, then how come Alina was the only person to experience racism? That thought continues to sit on my heart because it shows that the writers did not really think through how they wanted to express racism and included it for the wrong reasons.

Jessica: My reaction was basically, “I’m happy that other people seem happy!” since again, I had no context for the show. Casting on Netflix shows often seems to be a case of “cool, this is some exciting casting… but definitely could be better and even more intentional.”

K. Imani: “More intentional” That is the word right there! Making a story more diverse is wonderful and fully reflects the world we live in, however if you just randomly do it without thinking it through it comes off as insensitive. I know Leigh Bardugo used this show as an opportunity to make her story better (and I do not begrudge her of that fact) but when one doesn’t think it through, the criticism that is being expressed is a direct result.

Jessica: Sidenote -- I ended up watching a booktube video titled “Darker Jesper, Fat Nina, Shadow and Bone Casting Thoughts” on booktube channel Chronicles of Noria about the casting. Highly recommend checking it out. I also recommend this profile on Jessie Mei Li, who talks about being gender nonconforming.

Did any changes in the Netflix adaptation stick out to you? Were there changes you liked or disliked?

K. Imani: My favorite part of the adaptation is how well the show runners included the Six of Crows characters into the narrative. The storyline completely worked for me and connected the two stories together. I really enjoyed the Arken storyline (and the character tbh) as it was used to flesh out the world of the Grishaverse, which made the series much more interesting. I also liked the change of making Ivan and Fedyor a couple instead of just Darkling’s henchmen as it humanized them and actually made me like Ivan because they were so cute together. Though how that will come into play after the events of Episode 8 will be interesting. I’m a sucker for the Enemies to Lover trope so I loved that Nina’s & Matthia’s story of how they came together was included here. In either Six of Crows or Crooked Kingdom (I don’t remember), it was told as a flashback, but I loved that it was moved here as their “origin story”, so to speak, and how it connects to the events of the Alina timeline.

What I didn’t like...the casual racism. It really bothered me and left me sad the next morning. For example, a certain poster shown in the first episode had me physically cringe and I was upset that 1)  the production designers even created it and 2) no one, at no point, said that was a bad idea? Come on! It was horrible to see and I can imagine the hurt an AAPI would experience seeing that. And then, it got worse. Racial slurs thrown around a couple of times in the first couple of episodes to show that Alina is an outsider. They were jarring and took me out of the narrative. Having read the books I knew there was tension between the Ravkans and Shu Han, so I could understand what the show runners were trying to do, but it was actually never explained in show, hence making the racism feel random and just there for shock value.

Jessica: I saw tweets going around alluding to the racism Alina (and other characters to a less frequent extent) faced, so I braced myself for it. I’m only a few episodes in, and the instances so far were brief… but it just didn’t feel right. The foundation for this portrayal of racism wasn’t laid properly. And if the work of laying the foundation and really digging into what it means for the overall worldbuilding doesn’t happen… then why include it at all? Especially if it might be painful for certain viewers? I’m sure harm wasn’t the intent, but that’s the impact. Why not leave it out and let the show be escapism?

K. Imani: Jessica, the eyes comment took me out, not gonna lie. I audibly screamed. Anyone who has experienced a racist comment based on their looks felt that in their gut which is horrible when watching a show for escapism.

Jessica: Yeah, the eyes and rice-eater comments were especially frustrating. On top of it being a reminder of the racism Asians experience daily… it doesn’t make much sense. Like, canonically, do people in Ravka not eat rice? An American’s conception of racism isn’t necessarily going to make sense in a (Imperial Russia-inspired) fantasy world. But maybe I’m missing something since I didn’t read the original books.

And the eyes comment… whoof. When I was a kid, other kids would make fun of my eyes and ask me to, like, count seagulls because surely, I couldn’t see out of my eyes… And the other kids were also Asian! Internalized racism is so real. It’s disappointing that Shadow and Bone would include this experience as, I don’t know, discrimination flavor text. Surely there were better ways to portray discrimination that made sense within the Grishaverse…

Ellen Oh really said it so well: “If a writer is going to show racism against Asians, it's important to balance it with the beauty of all that makes us Asian also.” Where is the balance? Where is the nuance? Even if Alina’s Shu Han mother isn’t alive, couldn’t Alina have had a treasured Shu Han pendant? Just spitballing here. There were so many possibilities.

K. Imani: Exactly. I agree with Ellen and unfortunately there is no balance. That’s what makes it so hurtful. The focus is on how bad it is that she’s biracial and how bad the Shu Hans are for no specific reason. Because Alina is an orphan and grew up in Ravka, she unfortunately has no connection to Shu Han culture (or at least what is shown on screen) so all that she identifies as is Ravkan who just happens to look like a Shu Han person, but she doesn’t exhibit any pride in being Shu Han. Her ethnicity is just another obstacle to overcome which is all the more cringeworthy and why having Alina be biracial just to be biracial without thinking it through ended up being so problematic. Having her be biracial and using casual racism as an “obstacle” that she has to overcome is such a shallow interpretation of racism and shows the writers didn’t do the work to really think about the why the racism exists.

In addition to talking about what was done well and what went wrong or felt off about certain representation, it’s important to look at the “how.” How did this happen?

Jessica: I read on Twitter that one of the show writers is Korean and biracial -- which is awesome! I was really heartened to hear that. But at the same time, this highlights how important it is to have multiple marginalized voices in the room who can speak with some level of expertise. I don’t know the decision-making process that went into including this sort of surface-level, simplistic version of real world racism, but I wonder if anyone, at any point, said “is there a more nuanced and original way to portray this?” or “how will this affect Asian viewers?” Did someone bring it up, and they were overruled? What happened?

This absolutely isn’t a judgment on the Asian writers or staff on the show. When I’ve done collaborative writing, there were times I caught an issue and said “we need to be more sensitive about this” -- and there were other times when my teammates pointed out something I didn’t notice. It happens! That’s why it’s so important to have multiple marginalized perspectives when creating something -- especially when it’s a work as impactful and far-reaching as a Netflix show. Placing the burden of complex, nuanced representation on one, or a scant handful, of marginalized creators is just not going to work… and it’s not fair to the creators, either.

Frankly, this is a problem in so many industries -- film, publishing, games... there are so many “diverse” shows, games, etc with all-white or majority white teams. Good, nuanced representation can only happen when BIPOC / marginalized creators are the majority and have power behind-the-scenes. (This is why I’m really excited to watch the show Rutherford Falls -- half the writers room are Indigenous writers, as is the co-creator!)

K. Imani: Exactly! It’s great that one of the writers is biracial and Korean, but if she’s the only one how much input did she really have? I’m by no means knocking her experience but, say for example, that particular poster in the first episode. No one else behind the scenes found it problematic? There are many steps to a production process and that poster, if there had been more diverse voices present on the production staff instead of just 1 writer, would have been flagged as a huge problem and redone. The poster was supposed to be a “short cut” to show Ravkan/Shu Han tension but instead it came off as so profoundly racist and unnecessary. There are many other non-racist ways to explore the tensions between the two countries that could have been explored instead of just jumping to racism. And...as someone on Twitter pointed out, we never see the tension between the Ravkans and the Shu Han, but we openly see fighting between the Ravkans and the Fjierdans, so why were they not vilified to the same extent?

Jessica: Right. I’m definitely not saying racism can’t be portrayed in fantasy ever. But if you’re going to do it, make it make sense within the world. Don’t just use it as shorthand for “this character is Other.” I mean, experiencing racism isn’t what makes me Asian…

K. Imani: Boom! I’m going to repeat that for the people in the back...experiencing racism is not what makes a person Asian or Black, and if you are going to have racism in a work of art, be sure to provide balance to show all the other aspects of a person of color’s life.

Since we’re talking creators behind-the-scenes… which YA fantasy books by Asian authors do you think would make great Netflix shows or movies?

Jessica: I’ve got a list about a mile long, but I’ve cut it down to my top four:

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong

Forest of a Thousand Lanterns by Julie C. Dao

The Tiger at Midnight by Swati Teerdhala

The Epic Crush of Genie Lo by F.C. Yee

You’re welcome, Netflix execs who are totally reading this blog. Hop to it!

K. Imani: I second the Tiger at Midnight series! I loved the first two books and can’t wait for the conclusion in June. While not YA, the City of Brass series would make an excellent Netflix series. Anything Maurene Goo writes would be fun rom-coms (because we need those too!).

Jessica: I mean, with To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before complete… Netflix clearly needs to start adapting Maurene Goo’s books.

K. Imani: Yes, the people demand it! I don’t care which book, just grab one of them and get the production started.

On a final note, I do want to say that despite the criticism the show rightly deserves, there was much about the show that was enjoyable. The storytelling was strong and moved at a good pace, the costuming was on point, special effects worked seamlessly into the narrative, and even small touches such as how the Grishas used their small science was visually interesting. Book adaptations are always hard to pull off well and the Shadow and Bone production team did a good job overall. Their intention towards adding more diversity is a step in the right direction, but just didn’t do enough. Let’s hope they learn from their mistakes and improve for season 2.

[yandere-sins]

Oh my goodness - no need to worry if part three lived up to the others, it did so and MORE in my opinion!! Watching reader’s mindset change with the introduction of sex to their circumstance is so sickeningly fascinating - the bargaining and denial, the attempts to claim agency or security, the heart-dropping realization and regret as they’re about to fuck osamu - and yet they press forward anyway because what else is there?? You portray the back and forth conflict of reader’s thoughts so well, it’s so easy to understand their reasoning and empathize with their horror (and other feelings... 👀) You make the deterioration of their will seem so reasonable, like the natural progression of things, and that’s almost as terrifying as the twins themselves here (by which I mean, your writing is so fucking good for making me think and feel this way holy shit)

God speaking of the twins, where to even start with osamu... I am a bit biased since he’s my favourite, but I love the way you’ve characterized him here. It’s such a natural extension of his personality into this unnatural scenario - the restraint applied to himself, the correction of his twin’s behaviour as a way to regulate his own, yet the undeniable fact that he’s just as hungry, that for all their dissimilarities they are no different when it comes to pursuing what they love. There’s just so much to examine in his behaviour and thought process - his distrust of reader coupled with how easily he ended up crumbling to them (and his own suppressed desires), how he hopes they’ll be the one to restrain him, how he recognizes the immorality of it all and tries to be responsible to mitigate the damage (and his guilt), yet refuses to truly fix any of it - he’s so contradictory and complicated and I love it. There’s something to be said for atsumu’s shameless embracing of sin, but I personally love seeing the struggle in osamu, how he’s also slowly breaking down like reader and giving in after being so careful for so long. His desperation and repressed feelings being released and shown so clearly was just... 🥺 too bad that’s exactly what reader doesn’t want LOL.

Oh but let’s not forget how incredibly hot the spicy bits were!! I don’t even know what to say, Osamu being contradictory again in prioritizing reader’s pleasure but ultimately just doing what he wants (actually, perhaps he wasn’t prioritizing them but just wanted to taste them?? Or a mix of both like how reader has so many competing motives-) the first stroke oh my god, the thickness and how he doesn’t wait... the fact that reader came two strokes in 🥵 the position change 🥵 the roughness 🥵 the fact that he ALSO CAME INSIDE SKDNSK- again, I’m satisfied cause he’s my favourite but I totally get why atsumu got all outraged LMAO. especially with Osamu being so smug about making reader come twice 😳

Okay but reader saying welcome home though 🥺 ugh the confliction... whether it was to deter more fights or just a post-orgasm fluke, I feel like these small signs of acceptance/affection are going to encourage and embolden the twins just as much as the sex. OH and I can’t believe I didn’t talk about this yet but OSAMU’S BLUSHES AND RESPONSE TO READER’S HUG WERE SO CUTE- the tickling and his smile when reader laughed!! And his smile again after they fucked 😭 if only you hadn’t kidnapped them samu, maybe this could have been a sweet romance. Alas, he did, and as cute as it is that he’s softened, it probably means his self-restraint is weakened too - all because of that small gesture of affection (and what followed ofc aha). what happens once the overseer is done with just watching, never acting...? Poor reader, please enjoy your peaceful nap while it lasts 💔

Gosh, this all feels like the tip of the wedge, like the three of them are on the edge about to spiral further down into each other - and honestly, I am enthralled by it!! You did such an amazing job with this fic and with this series overall. Ah, but rereading the author’s note- I’m sorry you weren’t in a good place before/while writing this :( I really hope things are better for you now, or that they will be soon. I truly appreciate all the work you’ve put into this, and the skill with which you did. Thank you so much, take care, and I hope you have an amazing day ❤️

Wow! You absolutely blew me away (also, someone please tell me how the fuck you guys are writing these long and formatted asks???????)!! Like honestly I woke up at night and saw someone sent an ask and I started reading and couldn’t go back to sleep because I was all giddy and happy, omg, you are really amazing! Thank you so much for your time and support to type this all out ♥

I am so relieved I was able to show the process of thinking and changing in the reader since that isn’t always easy for me to describe as a non-native speaker! In a way I know what I want to say but it comes out like toddler’s speech :’D I am really glad it was understandable and reasonable for you to read, that helps me a lot to estimate future projects ♥

Thank you for going so thoroughly into Osamu’s (and by continuation also Atsumu’s) character! I think personalization is a strong point I have and I just love thinking about how to take the traits (strong/weak points and fears and all of it) a character has and turn it into a yandere personality, so I try to really pull from their canon verse and use it for my stories for reasoning and actions they take!

And ooh, I see you read between the lines! Yes, the initial idea was that Osamu was just having a taste of them, since you know, he repressed his desires a lot and now he has the chance to get it all! However, writing from a reader’s pov is always connected with not being to clear on what is going on inside the character’s head! After all, reader isn’t a mindreader and thus wouldn’t exactly be able to know it. But I can hint and sprinkle some ideas in anyway, hoping you guys will pick up on them :D Good job! I will admit that having him creampie the reader is actually a plot mistake I made... I mean call it personal preference, I just like that kink, but I only realized I used it again when I reread the story in correction and was like “Oh shit, I forgot Atsumu was fetching the morning-after pill!!” but in the end I must say it works out well because, you know, Osamu was just taking the chance, since the reader is most likely taking the pill anyway so why not be bold? Lol! Pretty sure I can work on my smexy scenes a lot more, I often think they might be too unbalanced, but I am glad if you all can still enjoy them, even if there’s a lot of space for improvement! ^-^

I TOTALLY live for those two bickering with each other tho lol! I couldn’t resist Osamu being snarky there xD

But yeah, welcoming Atsumu back home is like a free ticket to hell. You can’t just give Atsumu a finger without him taking the whole hand if you know that idiom. He’ll totally cling to every little nice thing reader does to him and insist forever that he’s the favorite twin just because they did xyz. I do feel like with Yandere, it always could have been so wholesome, if not for the yan being a psychopath xD

But yessss, like I mentioned in the previous ask, even if there’s more content following around, these three are the foundations of the reader and the two twins in a relationship. And now that abrriers are broken it can only go down down down so to say xD Thank you so much for reading and your well-wishes! I am currently not in a good place mentally which is probably why I’ll take a small break from the Fox Wedding too because for the last two chapters I want to be ready and prepared. But I am glad this story could bring you joy, it really helped me too when I was feeling at my worst, and now your ask absolutely gave me a good push to not despair in my little depression! I really appreciate your support and the time you spent on reading & writing, thank you so much for being an awesome reader ♥ I aspire to provide much more content you’ll like in the future ^-^ Stay safe & well too, my friend ♥

[danganronpa-21]

I just wanted to thank you SO much for your Kanon appreciation. It's so weird comparing her to various other flawed characters in the Danganronpa games (nagito, toko, byakuya, etc.), and seeing that while these characters are, with a few exceptions, completely adored, Kanon is either hated and thought of as disgusting, or not known at all. I mean, Danganronpa is a franchise full of morally grey characters, and its unfair to single her out as the worst one, or incapable of redemption. So thanks!

You’re quite welcome! Kanon is an awesome character, and if nobody else is going to give her appreciation, I’m more than willing to do it myself. 

I really agree with what you said about other flawed characters getting more of a pass on being problematic, whereas Kanon is often dragged to hell and back. And the reasons for doing so often strike me as... well, as rooted in some sort of misinterpretation. I often hear people say that she’s proof of Kodaka’s “incest fetish”, which I have never understood. Like, she is framed as creepy and obsessive for feeling the way she does about Leon. The whole end point of her story is about her learning to get over and get past that, so she can move on from Leon being the focal point in her life... for the major reason that the behaviour was not healthy or okay. Like that was the key ending point of her story. It just seems so obvious to me that it was meant to be a character flaw, but it seems to be a symptom of modern DR fandom to go “this is present in the narrative so obviously this is Kodaka’s worldview”. That’s along the same wavelength as a few years back when people were asking Jamie Lee Curtis why she was pro gun control, but used guns in a film. You have to ask yourself what the framing of the situation is, rather than just jumping on Kanon being a terrible character because she’s “showing his approval of incest”. 

The two times Kodaka presents incest in Danganronpa, the characters who participate in it are framed as bad. Kanon has to overcome her obsessive behaviour to become a better, healthier person again, and is actively painted as murderous towards Future Foundation and Yasuhiro until she makes the conscious choice to heal. Then there’s Korekiyo, who is also an actual murderer on account of his love for his sister. Unless there’s some other third character with an incest thing I’m forgetting (not counting Mukuro in DR3, because that was just OOC from what was shown in IF & DR0 and not even mainly Kodaka’s work), I have trouble understanding how Kanon and Korekiyo serve as a means of saying incest is good or hot or something. And like, as much as we might not like it, bad people in the series have changed before. I mean, look at the entire cast of SDR2 who went from good to bad to good again, even after their atrocities. I mean, didn’t someone take Junko’s womb to try and have her kids?!

I can understand not liking Kanon, especially if someone has a personal history with incest or obsessive people. I’m not the trauma police, I can’t tell someone not to feel a certain way about what happened to them, because that’s shitty and unfair. Sometimes characters remind us of bad people in our lives, and it’s fine to not like them for that reason. But to single out Kanon as the worst written character in the series for the reason that she’s a shitty person is both confusing to me in the sense that, a) that should only make her a bad person and not a bad character, and b) that Haiji Towa is in the same game, and is potentially worse, given that he’s canonically abusive and pedophilic with no allusions as to why he’s such a douche. We at the very least get some suggestion as to why Kanon is so obsessive. If everyone can run with a suggestion for Korekiyo, why do we suddenly clutch our pearls about Kanon? 

There’s definitely no way to stop everyone from hating Kanon because she does act like a creep, but at least there’s like... more people who need to look at her as a character rather than as a real life person. If Kanon were real, I don’t think she and I would be friends, or even get along for more than three minutes — but that doesn’t make her uninteresting and her character writing worthy of scorn. That’s just not how literary analysis works. Otherwise, we wouldn’t still be reading books years later with protagonists who are shitty. Yeah, there’s a reason why books like Lolita are still passed around — it’s because creeps are creeps, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be well-written as creeps. I mean, if creepy people aren’t interesting, why do we all like Toko so much? Nagito? Miu? Need I go on? We don’t have to agree with a character’s morals to be interested in them, the way they think, or the way they behave.

Anyway, sorry for just dumping all of my thoughts on you like this, anon. You definitely know by now that I am quite passionate about Kanon, but as are you, it seems! Thanks for taking the time to leave a message in my inbox. Hopefully my little ramble entertained you at least a little bit!

[quintessence-sentimentalist]

Hey, thanks for answering my Hay LinxEric question. Now, how would you fix IrmaxJoel?

Sorry for the delay on this—I haven’t been in quite the right mindset for the in-depth analyses as of late, and the question of how to fix this couple is a tricky one.

Don’t get me wrong, it is a very good one. Compared to a number of the other relationship fix-its I’ve considered (CxC, Nigel x Taranee) where I haven’t had a particular attachment to the couples, I actually have a lot of feelings about and adoration for Irma and Joel. And while that can also be said about HLxE, my perspective on Irma x Joel is a bit different.

Namely, the fact that I love their platonic relationship as it was presented in canon, and would actually have been pretty aligned if they were kept that way for the rest of the series.

(But of course, we couldn’t even have that, as any sort of acknowledgement of their relationship was wiped out of existence, and then referenced out of nowhere and without explanation many, many issues later with Joel thinking on how “Aw, we used to be friends, but not anymore.”)

I’m not saying I don’t ship them romantically (I do, and we’ll get into my fix-it of that later on in this ramble), but it wouldn’t have necessarily been a deal-breaker if they didn’t end up together. Admittedly, I’d probably be eating those words if Irma and Joel were still hanging out by the time Stephen (or, really, any brand-new love interest) came into the story, if only because throwing Irma into a romantic relationship without any real on-page emotional buildup doesn’t sit right with me no matter how I slice it. To be fair, that’s also just a me thing, because I prefer my ships to have a strong personal foundation over having the characters be drawn together primarily because of looks, etc., so there’s definitely room for different views. 

For me personally, though, the only way I’d really be behind a non-IxJ endgame is if a) Irma didn’t end up with anyone (which could have been great! The other girls were single at various times in the series, but having Irma be the one who’d never been in any sort of relationship would have been good to show that it’s more than okay to not have a significant other at that age), or b) Irma ended up in a relationship with someone else with whom she already has a long-established emotional connection (i.e. I’m not counting an old summer camp crush that we’ve only just learned of when it’s convenient to the in-story events). Seeing as that second option pretty much leaves us with either the other girls (which is fair) or Martin (not as sold on this one, but it’s a little bit better than their animated series counterparts), that would potentially have to be a fix-it as well.

Regardless of Irma’s relationship status—in a similarly meaningful one or not in one at all—let’s look at a fix for platonic Irma x Joel. Honestly, this one can just be summed up as LET THEM REMAIN CLOSE FRIENDS.

Really, it’s… it’s not that hard. Kandrakar knows that I love these girls and their bond, but I also like to see their lives outside of Guardianship, and that means that they can have other friends beyond each other. (Which they did try to do with Taranee and having Luke and Sheila, and I appreciate the effort, even if it wasn’t really executed in the best way.) Irma and Joel were something special, with their shared adoration for Karmilla and complementary senses of humor and, frankly, the fact that neither of them initially considered each other in a different sort of light. They had so much in common, their personalities resounded with each other so beautifully—all these qualities building up to what I’d dare call soulmate material—and all either of them can think is, “Hey, this is an awesome friendship!” And I adore that.

Which is why I can’t fathom why they’d suddenly do away with a relationship that had been lovingly (and largely platonically) tended to on the side for a number of story arcs.

I’m going to caveat that I have only read New Power and beyond but once in my life so far, and a good number of years ago, to boot. I have no actual recollection of whether or not there was any sort of explanation for why the two of them stopped hanging out (besides that offhand comment that they just don’t anymore, which was given to us… oh, three or four arcs later?). No idea if there was any sort of confrontation between Joel and Stephen and Joel out-of-character gets jealous—I wouldn’t put it past them to have done this (which is awful), but given the notoriousness of vanishing things without any warning that inspired this whole damn fix-it series, there’s a fighting chance for it to have gone either way. 

Regardless of what actually happened in canon, there is no concrete reason why Irma having a healthy, happy friendship with someone of the same gender as her new significant other had to be done away with. Even if it could be argued that Irma and Joel had romantic chemistry and ooooooohhhh that could be a threat to her new relationship (um, no.), the two of them had already dealt with those potential feelings back at the end of the Book of Elements/beginning of the Ragorlang arc, and while they didn’t deny that the potential was there, there was unspoken agreement that both were more comfortable as friends at the moment. If we were to use that attraction as a justification against keeping their friendship around while one or both were in other relationships, it just wouldn’t—in a very apt turn-of-phrase—hold water. And there isn’t a reason at all to drop it if there’s no romantic relationship(s) happening whatsoever.

So yeah. Base-level fix-it for Irma and Joel is keep their friendship.

But let’s take it a step further and look at a fix-it for an IxJ romance. I’ll admit that I volleyed around a couple different thoughts about this, even going so far as being sold on an end-of-series-payoff slow-burn like I originally thought we got with Cornelia and Peter (back when I thought the series ended at issue #74 like the Philippines comics did). And while that could have worked for them, I thought back and realized that so many of the canon ships had big moments like that. Will and Matt have their Big Damn Kiss after facing off against Cedric and Matt discovering the truth. Hay Lin and Eric have their joyful spur-of-the-moment kiss when Hay gives him the CD he wanted. As mentioned, Cornelia and Peter have their supposedly-final issue culmination of long-brewing chemistry. And of course, let’s not forget Cornelia and Caleb’s fairytale romance in the early days.

Really, all the relationships—except Taranee and Nigel, although the tradeoff for that was long, drawn-out conflict—officially kick off with a fireworks-level big bang. It’s a Moment when the couples come together, something to be remembered. And with Irma being Irma, loveable loudmouth as she is, it’d make sense for her to have something like that as well—a blurted confession, maybe, or a deep, passionate first kiss.

That’s why I’m of the camp that would have a quiet, but no less meaningful resolution to Irma and Joel’s romantic feelings.

We all know Irma’s the outgoing type—natural comedian always on-hand, outspoken to a fault, passionate and unabashedly loud. But a number of times over the series, we’ve seen her have to get introspective or at least a bit more low-key (oftentimes in the wake of an outburst that hurts someone else). These quieter moments usually offer some great character studies and development for Irma, and I’d like to think that, if given the chance to accept and want to act on her deeper feelings for Joel, it would happen in a similar way.

Just give me the two of them hanging out like usual, but maybe with not as much chatter. Joel is playing his guitar, Irma’s kicked back with a magazine that she’s only half-paying attention to as she listens. Eventually, the magazine drops further and further from her face as her gaze drifts fully to Joel and that goofy face he makes whenever he hits that one chord and that warm fond feeling she gets…

Her thoughts skitter to a sudden stop, but she tries not to let it show outwardly. It’s been a long time since Irma’s thought of Joel in any more-than-friendly terms, probably not since the mix-up with the note to Karmilla that first brought the idea to her mind. It had been an accident, and maybe she hadn’t fully realized—or at the very least hadn’t been ready—to confront those feelings by that point, but the inklings were there. And they’re still here, and maybe a little bit more than just inklings, and maybe she’s actually ready to admit them.

So Irma sets down the magazine altogether, and carefully slides a little closer to Joel’s side. The movement doesn’t go unnoticed, but he looks up only in faint curiosity—not at all startled or displeased. Irma just returns with a small smile, maybe a little nervous (is this too much too fast? Does he even feel the same way anymore?). But there’s no need for worry—or even words, for that matter—as the two of them have always been so in-sync, and are in perfect alignment on this in particular. That’s clearly proven when Joel grins back and carefully shifts his body and guitar so Irma can comfortably settle in right next to him.

(There are words later, of course, if only to make absolutely certain they’re both on the same page, and just because hearing it out loud makes it feel so real. And really, things don’t change that much in their relationship—they still laugh and crack jokes and tease each other to no end, just with a bit more cuddling and kisses and comfy quiet between them, where neither feels the need to fill the silence just because.

And because I’m predictable, a situation wherein Joel gets clued in to the Guardian Secret would involve Joel being very understanding and patient… and also terrifyingly aware that he is never again going to win in a water fight against his girlfriend.)

So. Apparently I had more thoughts on Irma and Joel fix-its than I thought, but I also have zero regrets and too damn many feelings.

[stargazing-enby]

Heyy, what's your favourite thing about Drarry?

Okay, so first of all, this question is HARD. And by hard I mean I spent like a week staring at this ask in my inbox and then realised there was no way I was coming up with a good enough answer without the help of @paoak. In fact, I would have been a fool to try. So, after an hour long session of brainstorming in the library like the obsessed fools we are, and in no particular order…here’s an incomplete list of our favourite things about Drarry:

- The fandom. The fact that it’s active, and thriving, and that it’s not just content creators that participate in it; that there’s so many fans out there making fic recs, giving stratosferic amounts of love to the creators, organising fests… 

The fandom as a whole is also incredibly open-minded. Like…we have other fandoms that we can’t bother to be so active in online because of the amount of judgement and pettiness and antis in them, but Drarry? Ship and let ship, YKINMKBYKIO… With some exceptions, this is practically all we’ve seen in this community, and that’s honestly so refreshing.

We also love the way problems are faced in the fandom; how so many people explore themes such as sexuality, race, neurodivergence and politics (to name a few) in such a sensitive way, and how we as a community don’t stay quiet in the face poor fandom etiquette, such as not tagging sensitive content properly, reposting or anon hate. Like dude…we’ve got each others’ backs. How awesome is that?

- Their dynamic. In Paoak’s words and to put it simply, Drarry is, to the core, a snarky pining son of a bitch x an oblivious cinnamon roll willing to roast him every single time.

And like…yeah, there’s so many ships out there that are enemies to lovers, or that have shared trauma, or that have clashing/opposite personalities, or that meet as kids. But I don’t know that many that combine all of the above. And all of these are represented in so many different ways depending on when the fic is set! Drarry bickering innocently as kids, Drarry discovering their sexualities and feeling all the UST as teens, Drarry figuring out their lives as adults… Canon and everything that comes before and after it leaves us with such a wide range of ages to explore that you don’t see in many other ships.

And that’s not even mentionint how complementary they are. They were literally written to be everything the other is not and, in many aspects, to have the things the other wants the most. They’re made to clash against each other; they have every reason to hate each other, but, when it comes down to it, they come back to the other like metal to a magnet. Which gives so much room for us to imagine them coming together post-canon; growing and changing the other for the better, posing a challenge for the other, and driving each other mad. They just need each other, but the best part is—they do in canon. Their dynamic, the intensity between them—it’s all there in the books, if you just dare see it. But because Drarry itself is not canon, there are…quite literally no restrictions. There’s a different Drarry for every one of us depending on the way we interpret it. Canon is a strong foundation—one where we’re all free to build as many castles as we want.

And even though they’re so unstable, even though they’re always at the edge, there’s…balance, between them. Some people see their dynamic in canon as bullying, but from the perspective of yours dearly, who happens to be a victim of bullying…there’s a big difference between the unbalance that bullying entails and the constant back and forth that goes on between Drarry, and that leaves a different one of them coming on top every time. A back and forth that, by the way, only goes on until it really matters: when lives are at stake—that’s when they risk it all to save the other. Without hesitation.

And that’s where it gets the most interesting. Because at first glance, one could say that Draco is bad and that Harry is good. But if you dig a little bit deeper, they’re both scared, clueless, traumatised kids. They’re both flawed. Think of just the Sectumsempra incident, or how Draco can’t bring himself to kill Dumbledore despite everything that’s at stake. It’s nice to read about perfect characters from time to time, but if you want to explore everything there is to see in the gray area of life, fiction, and morality, Drarry is that ship that just takes your hand and walks you through every other path you may want to explore.

Which takes us to the last point:

- The heavy themes. Combine points one and two together—a fandom that is huge, alive, open-minded and sensitive and a ship that is everything but simple—and you’ll end up with a vast amount of fic that explores the most complex themes, often avoided in media and even within other fandoms, without stepping out of their explosive ship dynamic. And all of it often in the context of YA literature; adult, problematic, serious themes, combined with fun, adventure and magic.

And because god forbid that we did any studying instead of coming up with this hell of an answer, we even made our own (again, incomplete) list of themes that we’ve seen, loved, and learnt from in the Drarry fandom: infidelity, PTSD, grief, mental illnesses, self-discovery at all stages of life, sexuality, neurodivergence, disabilities, post-war politics, abuse, self-harm and suicide themes, denial of feelings, the brutality of war, the harshness of realising you’ve been kept from the real world and the discovery of it, unrequited love and a lack of communication even when there’s sex, consent and dubcon, and last but not least, sexual encounters that range from vanilla to BDSM, but that aren’t just smut for the sake of smut; that teach you about boundaries, and kinks, and safe/sane/consensual, and that act as a way for the characters to express emotions they’re trying to hide, and to connect. For their story to evolve; for them to change together.

[catholicartistsnyc]

Meet Theresa Ambat

THERESA AMBAT is a music composer, producer, and sound designer based in Seattle, WA. [website]

From Theresa: 

I have my own personal music on Spotify and Apple Music and I just started doing freelance music production for film and video games. I also sometimes compose music using a programming language called SuperCollider. 

CATHOLIC ARTIST CONNECTION (CAC): Where are you from originally, and what brought you to Seattle?

THERESA AMBAT (TA): I was born in Japan and moved to Washington as a baby (dad was in the Navy). Lived in a small town for most of my life, then moved to Seattle to study Computer Music at the University of Washington. I now work for a parish in the greater-Seattle area!

CAC: How do understand your vocation as a Catholic artist? Do you call yourself a Catholic artist?

TA: I'd say that I'm a Catholic who is an artist. My vocation is to be a follower of Christ, and creating music is a major way for me to do that. I'm not a praise & worship artist and my work isn't always explicitly Christian, but my work is built on the foundation that is my faith and relationship with the Lord. Everything I create is for Jesus.

All I desire is to share truth, beauty, and goodness through my art. If someone can encounter Christ through my work -- whether that be by feelings of peace and solidarity, or something as incredible as conversion of the heart -- that brings me so much joy. 

CAC: Where in Seattle do you regularly find spiritual fulfillment?

TA: I was a part of a really wonderful Catholic community called the Prince of Peace Catholic Newman Center when I was in college. If you're a college student or young adult in the Seattle area, I'd highly recommend getting involved there! They've got Dominicans, tons of young people looking to explore their faith, awesome events, just overall an A+++ community. That place played a serious role in my relationship with Christ -- I don't know where I'd be without it. 

CAC: What is your daily spiritual practice?

TA: I've been struggling a little bit with daily prayer habits since starting full-time work--I guess I'm still trying to figure out a good routine. But since I work at a church I have the opportunity to do a holy hour and go to mass once a week which is great. Usually when I get home I pray a rosary with my family. I've also been reading "The Mystical Journey to Divine Union" by John Paul Thomas which is about St. John of the Cross.

I found my spiritual director Fr. Marcin during my senior year of college. At the time I was making a pretty big life decision about my future: to accept a position as a FOCUS missionary or stay in Washington to further my music career. Fr. Marcin was actually the person who kept telling me I needed to find a spiritual director, haha. We already had a good friendship by then so I just asked him! In the end, I discerned that the Lord was calling me to stay in Washington to live out mission in my job/music. 

CAC: Describe a recent day in which you were most completely living out your vocation as an artist.

TA: When in-person shows were still a thing, I performed for a SoFar Seattle show in January. It was my first paid gig ever and like, 20 of my friends (who are also Catholic) came. I think they filled up almost a third of the venue.

What's cool about SoFar shows is that the audience remains completely silent during your performances. No phones, no talking, people have to stay for the ENTIRE show, giving you the artist full-freedom to share your work without the fear of people not paying attention.

Before performing I talked about how I was Catholic, the ways the Lord was working in my life at the time, and how they related to my music. Being in secular Seattle, it was absolutely terrifying! But wow, I was received so well. After the show people started sharing with me how my story/music resonated with their own stories. If they were Catholic or not, I have no idea!

The Lord was SERIOUSLY present that night. All of my friends who came are incredible witnesses of Christ and it was just so cool to even see them interact with other people at the show and share Christ -- not by bible thumping or swinging around rosaries -- but simply by their presence and the joy that bleeds out of them.

Thinking back, yeah, I really wanted to share Christ with others through my music that night. But I'm now realizing how much of an impact my friends had on the show. Just imagine walking into a venue where THAT many people are striving for sainthood. The environment changes. I really felt like I was a part of the body of Christ that night.  

CAC: How do you financially support yourself as an artist?

TA: I currently have a full-time job at a really wonderful parish which is my main source of income. I only started freelancing maybe 2.5 months ago but to my surprise it's been flourishing well! Creating a personal website and demo reel made it really easy to share my work with others and I've found most of my gigs through the Catholic Creatives facebook group as well as Instagram.

The biggest piece of advice I have for finding work is to use social media as a tool. Document your process on instagram, create a demo reel and put it on the front page of your website, post on the Catholic Creatives facebook group! 

[Editor’s Note: Remember, you can also post in the Catholic Artist Connection Facebook group and send and find notices in the newsletter!] 

I know we all cringe at the idea of "networking" but if you think about it in the lens of evangelization, it's actually quite beautiful. No, I'm not saying that you need to "convert" people in your tweets and insta posts. But just remember that very interaction you have with a person is sacred and is an opportunity to love. Even in the digital world. When people see your joy and desire to serve, they can tell you're serious about your art and will want to work with you.

In the future (maybe 5ish years from now) I'd love to make freelance music production a full-time career. I still have quite a ways to go but I know the Lord is asking me to be patient and invest in the season that I'm in now. Transitioning out of college it's very easy to focus so heavily on the far future that we miss out on what's happening right in front of us. I'm really grateful for the opportunities the Lord has given me to serve now. 

CAC: What are your top 3 pieces of advice for Catholic artists post-graduation?

TA: 1. Post-graduation is REALLY hard. Especially during this COVID-19 pandemic. You're going to be told a lot of lies by Satan, but just remember that that's all he is. A liar.

Jesus? He is truth. So in response to each of those lies you might hear, just remember a truth that Jesus is telling you.

2. Invite God into your creative process! Make your work a prayer, write something in the adoration chapel, ask God what he thinks about your work, etc. I recorded my first album in front of the tabernacle and the Lord has blessed that piece of work in so many ways.

3. DO IT! Just do it. That thing you've been wanting to make for 72589247329 years, just start. It's never too late to just start. Stop letting your expectations for yourself get in the way. Stop waiting to get that "one piece of gear" that will make/break your project. God gave you a gift for a reason--to bring glory to his kingdom. Use it!

Let's be saints, together!

[moviegroovies]

y’all i saw terminator: dark fate!!!!!!!!!

GOD i loved it. i think i’ve admitted before that the only way i really rank exciting plot points in movies is by how much i anticipated them/wanted them to happen, and terminator: dark fate did NOT disappoint. fuck every writer or director who makes weird shit happen in their stories just to give the audience a story they couldn’t possibly have anticipated. (cough avengers endgame cough.) sometimes the best ending is one you can see from ten miles away, because that means it’s been set up EFFICIENTLY. 

obviously, i think the new terminator did that. there were a few things i wanted to happen that didn’t (mostly regarding the life of one or two key characters), and a few things i legitimately didn’t see coming that i really liked, but ultimately the story was solid, awesome to watch, and very faithful to the original. i haven’t seen any of the sequels past judgement day, and i have no plans to change that anytime soon (lmao), but i’ve heard that it discounts all continuity past the second one, and that’s completely fine by me. the actors were great. LINDA HAMILTON was great. and i am sexually attracted to old soft arnold schwarzenneger. 😔

i was debating on whether or not i should make a separate post to talk about the time travel in the terminator franchise or if i should just go crazy go stupid and lump it in with my review and ultimately i think it can just go here, because i have some things to say re: the way it ties back to the originals. 

personally i think the neatest example of time shenanigans in the franchise comes from the very first movie. that one sets up time travel in their universe as very “you already changed the past,” insofar as, without the time travel elements, there is the very real sense that the future the terminator came from would never have existed. kyle reese, from the future, becomes the father of his superior officer john connor. without the time travel, there would be no human resistance for skynet to fear. not only that, when the terminator’s arm is left behind intact, even after sarah destroys the machine, they set out the idea that skynet itself was DEVELOPED FROM THE TERMINATOR’S TECHNOLOGY, so if there was no time travel, there was no skynet, and no apocalypse... etc. at the end of the movie, the picture of sarah that kyle comes back with is taken by a child at a gas station, and it seems like a clue that everything is happening on track. sarah will give birth to john connor, the machines will rise up, the resistance will rally, time travel will ensue. the events of the first movie are a closed time loop, and ultimately, i find that really satisfying. 

However. 

from a narrative perspective, i think the changes in those time travel mechanics are super interesting. 

basically, in judgement day, there’s still some implications that the timeline is a closed loop--the terminator’s hand is actually shown to be the basis of what will become the skynet computer, which is being built right then and there. the apocalypse could indeed be on, and everything seems fixed. then, though, they find the creator of the computer, and miles bennett helps them to destroy his work in horror at what he will create. skynet never happens. they change the future. 

by dark fate, that ability to change what is “written” becomes not only a plot point, but a sort of rallying cry. the skynet apocalypse is officially off--now the dark future is controlled by a very similar breed of computer known as legion. sarah’s efforts changed the future, permanently. there’s the feeling perhaps that the future can only be changed to an extent (the skynet apocalypse being canceled, but replaced by a very similar robo-hell, for example--almost like the timeline is trying to set itself right), but that feeling is tested and challenged as the movie progresses. in that sense, dark fate is the full culmination of the trendline that their “trilogy” represents: sarah’s fate was sealed in dark fate, but with john’s influence in judgement day, things were officially set off course. dark fate represented dani’s turn, and she took everything into her own hands--she personally stood up and refused to run, refused to let the bad future win out, refused to take things lying down. sarah felt a kinship to her, based on the position that she found her in, but it’s like she realizes--dani is not sarah. sarah’s realization is that “she’s john,” which is closer--she’s the leader of the resistance, humanity’s only hope, but i think the message is pretty clearly telling us that she’s not john connor either--she’s dani ramos. 

and she fucking OWNS.

one thing that i was a little iffy about at the start of the movie was the “white savior” thing. i don’t think that was an unfounded reservation to have--based on the formula from the first movie, a terminator is sent back to kill, and a hero is sent back to protect. this time, the “hero” is a white girl cyborg named grace, while the character in danger, who the movie clearly wants you to think is in the same boat as sarah connor, ie the mother mary role, literally important not for her own self but for her womb, is a mexican woman. that could have reached unfortunate implication levels like hella fast, but honestly (and i will disclaim this by adding that i’m white, so if you felt differently about it i would appreciate hearing why), i think the rest of the movie subverted that pretty beautifully. for one thing, grace being fundamentally human underneath her augmentation meant that she wasn’t an unstoppable machine ready to continue on until her metal frame was torn to shreds. she was a BADASS, obviously, and in the first fight, grace did prove herself a worthy successor to the “uncle bob” terminator in t2 with her kickass skillz (sorry kyle reese you’re just not that cool), but soon after that we got to see grace’s limits. if it hadn’t been for sarah connor, grace’s plan on the bridge finally boiled down to “when the terminator starts to kill me, run.” soon after that, grace’s power is shown to be fallible even more thoroughly when she hits her limit and starts to convulse, a byproduct of her augmentation. grace can do more than what a human can do, but she can’t do it forever like a machine could. very quickly in the movie, the tables were flipped, and even though grace came back through time to protect dani, dani was the one who had to take over the driver’s seat (despite never having driven before), and the one responsible for getting grace to medicine so that she could be resuscitated. and all that was BEFORE the big reveal.

a note: there were two scenes in pretty quick succession in this sequence that made me sob. the first of these was the death of dani’s brother diego, because in his last act, he was reassuring his sister that he was okay, despite being impaled by a metal pole. that line gave his character some depths that i hadn’t expected, and it really made dani’s pain after the car went up feel palpable. diego didn’t get a lot of screentime, but we saw him flirt lamely with a neighbor, we saw him dream of internet fame, we saw him joke at the factory even as his job was being replaced. we saw how much dani cared about him when she told him to take her job while she sorted out his replacement by machine parts. their relationship was a solid brick in the movie’s foundation, and his loss felt a lot more real than many comparable losses in movies. you know that whole “show, don’t tell” adage? they didn’t have to tell me that losing diego (and her father) was like a knife in dani. i saw that for myself. the second scene was at the pharmacy, when the employees and the other customers reached out to help grace even after she and dani had both lashed out and threatened them with the gun in fear of what was happening. y’all ever get emotional over the way that people are essentially good and will help each other when they can? god i fucking love that.

anyway, the reveal. the reveal was awesome. 

i started suspecting that dani wasn’t the mother of humanity’s last hope, but rather, humanity’s last hope herself, during the conversation on the train telling us exactly the opposite. sarah makes some assumptions and projects her experience onto dani, telling her flat out that she’s pretty much a walking incubator for humanity’s last hope. there’s a sense that sarah might be bitter about having that role handed to her, and perhaps even more so because it was then taken away--she lost the son that she risked everything for, fought two terminators for, and for nothing: for some machines in a future that no longer existed. in that scene though, crucially, grace never says anything to confirm sarah’s assumptions. the one character with knowledge of the future doesn’t impart it, and it shows. sarah knows things that dani doesn’t simply because it’s not her first rodeo, but she’s also wrong sometimes, too. again in the kitchen later, the “carl” terminator asks about grace’s mission, but she doesn’t share it or give any information on who dani is going to turn out to be. the absence of information can often be an answer all in itself, and the reveal had some EXCELLENT groundwork throughout the movie--both in grace’s actions and in the brave and heroic actions of dani herself.

dani’s nature and grace’s past being revealed in the plane was one of the best scenes in perhaps the entire franchise. i said i sobbed at those scenes i outlines before, right? yeah, that was nothing to how hard i was crying and also cringey stimming during the reveal. we got to see a peek of dani ramos some twenty years in the future, and she’s incredible. she’s fearless, she’s tough, but crucially, she’s still kind. she takes no shit, but she not only saves a child’s life, but she offers a new one to the thugs who were chasing her. in just one scene, the way that dani bands a resistance together is obvious: she’s the best of us, and she uses that for good.

god, i love dani ramos. 

the way that ultimately, dani takes the “hero” role over for herself (much like sarah did, honestly) and the way that we get to see grace’s weaknesses make them a very balanced pair. they’re both badass women in their own right (hell, sarah is, too), and they counter each other excellently. grace is augmented, and has physical capabilities that dani can’t match. at the same time, though, dani is willing to make risks that grace isn’t, because while grace’s concern rests on the fate of one woman, dani wants to find the best outcome for everyone--including herself, but not ending there. grace is willing to drop dani at the bottom of a mineshaft, if that’s what it takes to keep her safe. dani is willing to sacrifice her safety to face the confrontation that’s looming, because that’s what it takes to move forward. 

i think one of the coolest things about the movie is that both grace and sarah come into the action with more experience in combat than dani, and more knowledge about the situation than dani, but ultimately the movie shows that they aren’t infallible, and there’s never a moment when dani is punished for naivety or made to feel stupid because she wasn’t as informed as them. both grace and sarah, in fact, are openly shown to be wrong about dani in different ways--grace knows who she’s going to become, intimately, but that closeness makes her too reluctant to put dani near the front lines, choosing to run indefinitely from the terminator rather than face it head on and use every advantage they can get to beat it. sarah, meanwhile, respects dani’s agency more, but in a way she sees past her at the start of the movie, dismissing her importance in a way that reads as sarah dismissing her own--she’s attacking herself and using dani as a proxy, but sarah’s wrong, because dani isn’t her. i love how both grace and sarah are good characters, and they’re both doing what they think is necessary and right, but they’re allowed to be wrong and misguided. ultimately, if it wasn’t for dani’s own agency and choices, the terminator would not have been defeated, and there would be no hope for subverting the bad future everyone is waiting for.

fate, believe it or not, is a very present theme in dark fate. obviously, i talked earlier about how this movie is the culmination of the “you can’t change the future” ->  “you can change the future?” -> “you can change the future.” chain of events represented in the good terminator movies that i will acknowledge, but it’s more than just that. through the character of the “carl” terminator, we also get to see the blatant subversion of one’s nature for the better, and that was just. really epic. ngl.

in terminator 2, i enjoyed how john connor was protected by the reprogrammed terminator “uncle bob,” but i was a little disappointed by the execution. having uncle bob be a protector to john was exactly what i wanted, but the explanation that he had been programmed to do so rubbed me a little the wrong way. what i didn’t realize until i watched dark fate was that this pinged as wrong because dark fate gave me what i wanted: a terminator that didn’t change sides because he was taken down and forced to change, but rather, a terminator that actually made a conscious decision to be better because of what he observed in humanity. carl saw a familial dynamic and realized that he had taken that from sarah, and reached out to her, giving her a purpose like his family had given him a purpose, because he chose to. and that was the sexiest thing he could have done.

can you tell i LOVE what they did with the terminator. his arc and sarah’s were such awesome continuations for sarah’s general history and the progression of terminators played by arnold schwarzenneger. part of me was hoping for an ending where we saw sarah and carl drive off together, waving to dani and preparing to live out the rest of their years saving the future. yeah, well, we didn’t get that, but there were several scenes that hinted at forgiveness from sarah (an almost impossible feat given how she felt and what she lost) and trust between the two of them, and i loved that too.

dark fate was a good movie, y’all. it was so good. 

there’s probably a million other things that i could talk about going down this vein, but this post is already a monster. i’ll just sign out by saying: one last thing i thought was epic and cool was how the protagonists cross the border from mexico into the us and at no point is such an action demonized; in fact, it’s necessary for them to reach essential aid in the form of carl, and the man who facilitates the action, dani’s uncle, is never treated amorally or like a criminal. i know, i know, the bar is on the fucking floor, but in the political climate we’ve got, for a blockbuster to take that stance felt like a pretty solid statement to me. 

also, i liked the terminator’s line about texas. watching that in a theater in texas, i must report that it got the biggest audience reaction out of any line in the whole movie. folks, there were wolf whistles. ciao.

[purrincess-chat]

How to Win a Guy in 30 Days CH3

I finally got around to doing this lol. Only one more chapter to go after this one. Onichan had me all kinds of salty, so I had Marinette and Kagami make up in this chapter because I’m fucking tired of their rivalry. Also Marinette’s dress in this chapter is this one from Jeremy’s insta.  

Read on AO3

Chapter 3

“So, you spent the day together on the beach, and that’s how you got together?” Emma leaned against the kitchen counter as Marinette prepared their sandwiches for lunch.

“No.” Emma flopped over with a groan.

“This story is like a million hours long!” Emma whined, and Marinette pursed her lips to hide her smirk.

“Try living through it,” she said pointedly. “Now, our little bonding moment on the beach didn’t go unnoticed, in fact, we made the front cover of a tabloid magazine a week later.”

- - -

“I’m sorry!”

Adrien wore an apologetic wince on the screen as Marinette stared down at the cover on her lap. The two of them sprawled out together at the beach, smiling, laughing. In the corner was a picture of him carrying her with a caption about their supposed secret relationship.

“I know it’s been going on to some extent since that day at the movies, but this is way worse,” he said with a sigh.

“No, no, it’s okay,” she insisted. “I don’t mind.”

“I know, but I still feel like I should apologize,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’d hate to inconvenience you or have my fans send you hate mail or something.”

“I won’t take it personally. You’re my friend, Adrien, and it’s just some silly tabloid,” she waved it away, though she secretly planned to keep that cover forever.

“Okay, but please tell me if something like that happens,” he said, eyebrows furrowing, and Marinette offered him a soft smile.

“I will,” she promised, and he seemed to relax.

“How’s your ankle?”

“A lot better now. I can walk on it just fine,” she said, glancing down and wiggling it.

“I’m glad. I know it’s rough climbing the stairs with a hurt foot. One time my father had to have a room set up for me downstairs because I couldn’t make it all the way up to my room.”

“Papa had to carry me up for the first couple days. The real challenge was not falling again and making it worse,” she said, and they both shared a laugh. “Um, thanks for all of your help carrying my books and holding doors for me.”

“No problem. I know you’d do the same for me, so I was happy to help,” he assured her. “By the way, my father is hosting a branding gala at the Agreste foundation soon, and since your hat won his contest, I convinced him to invite you.”

“For real?” She gasped, eyes widening.

“It’s next week, but I figured you’d want time to plan your outfit. It’s formal attire,” he said, and she felt her heart leap. “I’ll deliver your proper invite tomorrow.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She bounced giddily, and Adrien chuckled.

“You’re welcome. Usually these things are boring, but it’ll be way more fun with you there.” Her cheeks flushed at that. “Anyway, I’ll see you at school.”

“Yeah, see you,” she waved, falling back onto her chaise with a squeal the moment they hung up before surging forward again with a new sense of purpose.

She had work to do!

- - -

“Why didn’t you ask him to be your real boyfriend? You two got along so well,” Emma asked around a mouthful.

“Because it wasn’t the right time. Your father and I were great friends before we started dating, and that friendship was important,” Marinette said, holding up a finger. “Improving your relationship as friends only makes your romantic relationship stronger later.”

“I guess,” Emma rolled her eyes. “So, tell me about the gala! Did you make your own dress?”

“I didn’t make just any dress, my dear. I made the dress.”

- - -

“Whoa.” Her friends all stared at her in awe as Marinette situated her skirt.

“How do I look?” Marinette asked, clasping her hands behind her back.

“I know you want to capture his attention and all, but I think you’re going to kill him, girl,” Alya said, looking her up and down. “Seriously, you look stunning.”

“Yeah, the dress turned out awesome,” Alix echoed.

“You look so beautiful!”

Marinette’s cheeks flushed as her friends showered her with praise before her mother poked her head through the trap door.

“Ready to go, sweetie?”

“Go get him, girl,” Alya pulled her in for a hug followed by the rest of her friends, and Marinette took a deep breath before carefully making her way downstairs.

Her father teared up when he saw her, and Marinette bit back a smile. In a way, it made her a little self-conscious to have everyone staring at her, but everything was worth it the moment she arrived at the gala.

Adrien was chatting with Kagami which in most instances would have made her uneasy, but as soon as she walked through the door, Adrien stopped mid-sentence, eyes locked on her. Kagami turned to glare at her, but Marinette simply smiled and waved as Adrien approached her.

“You made it!” He grinned, exchanging kisses with her before examining her dress. “Did you make this yourself?”

“Yep! She beamed as he spun her around.

“You look incredible,” he said before perking up as an idea flashed in his head. “Let’s go show my father. I’m sure he’ll be impressed.”

“Oh, I don’t want to bother him,” Marinette curled her shoulders, feeling a bit embarrassed at the thought of Gabriel Agreste judging one of her designs. A hat was one thing, but she poured everything into this dress. She’d be crushed if he hated it.

“Don’t worry. He’s gonna love it,” Adrien assured her, offering an arm which she reluctantly took.

Marinette glanced around at the other well-to-do partygoers as they approached Nathalie, spotting Chloe and her mother across the room. Great. Now she had two people to dodge all evening.

“Nathalie,” Adrien tapped her shoulder, and his father’s assistant turned, a grey tablet in her hands. “Father, this is Marinette, the contest winner.”

“Yes, I remember,” Gabriel nodded. “Welcome to my gala.”

“Thank you, sir,” Marinette said politely.

“Marinette designed and made her dress tonight, and I wanted to show you,” Adrien nudged her forward as Gabriel flicked his gaze to her.

She smiled sheepishly, squirming a little as he studied her. His expression was so emotionless and hard to read, and she couldn’t tell what was running through his mind which only made her blood pump faster.

“Very fine work, Marinette,” he said finally. “We may very well be attending one of your galas in a few years.”

“Thank you so much, Mr. Agreste,” she bowed, cheeks pink. “And thank you for inviting me.”

“Of course. A designer of your caliber will always have a place at my galas.”

Her heart shot up to her throat as Adrien bid him farewell and led her away. She wasn’t sure if her feet were even touching the ground anymore.

“See? Told you he’d be impressed,” Adrien said with a grin.

“I can’t feel my legs,” she sighed, clasping her hands over her heart, and Adrien chuckled in amusement.

“Come on, I’ll help you find them. Let’s go dance,” he took her hand and pulled her over to the dance floor.

Cold glares from Kagami and Chloe aside, she had to admit it felt pretty good to be in his arms, swaying in time with the music. Tonight was the best night of her life, although, her happiness was short-lived.

“I’m cutting in.”

Before Marinette could process, strong hands pulled her away from Adrien, spinning her away. When she righted herself, she turned to see Kagami in her place wearing a smug grin. Adrien seemed a little confused, but nonetheless surrendered his attention.

Feeling slightly annoyed, Marinette stormed off to the buffet where she grumpily stuffed her face with hor d’ouerves. Of course, she should have expected such retaliation; Kagami wasn’t one to take things lying down, especially when it came to Adrien. Though, she supposed she more than deserved it given some of her own stints of jealousy in the past, and she had caught his attention, even if only for a little while. Tonight was still a win in her book.

“Having fun, Marinette Dupain-Cheng?”

She suppressed an eye roll as she stuffed another mini quiche into her mouth and turned to see Chloe standing with a hand on her hip and a scowl on her face.

“I was until I had to witness your terrible makeup choices,” she grumbled.

“Ha-ha, but don’t think I didn’t notice you dancing with Adrien. Don’t fool yourself into thinking he’s going to fall in love with you over some ugly dress,” Chloe sneered. “You’re always going to be too low class for him no matter how much you dress yourself up.”

“We’ll see about that Chloe. Unlike you, Adrien isn’t such a stuck-up snob who worries about those things which is why you’ll never stand a chance with him,” Marinette said before turning and walking away, leaving Chloe fuming.

As annoying as Chloe could be, Marinette knew she was right about Adrien. He’d never fall for someone so shallow and full of herself, so really her only true rival for his affection was Kagami. The only problem with that was that Kagami was really good at getting her way, but tonight was the night when all of that changed.

“We need to talk,” Kagami grabbed her wrist and toted her off.

“About what?” Marinette grunted under Kagami’s steely grip.

“You are so shameless,” Kagami growled once they reached the foyer. “Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing. You’re conspiring with Chloe again to get to Adrien.”

“Actually, I was just enjoying the desserts,” Marinette held up a macaron.

“Don’t play innocent,” Kagami slapped it from her hand as she went to take a bite. “I know you’re working against me. Your sprained ankle at the beach that you milked for a week to keep Adrien’s attention, and now you show up here in a big pink dress just to steal him away from me. What did I ever do to you?”

“What did I ever do to you?” Marinette shot back. “What? You think I wanted to sprain my ankle? Ever since you moved here you’ve always been cold to me, and any time that I so much as look at Adrien, you cling to him and glare at me.”

“I only do that because of how much attention he pays you!” Kagami shouted, and Marinette stepped back a little, eyebrows raising.

“What?” Marinette blinked, and Kagami turned away purposefully.

“Ever since I met him, Adrien has spoken so highly of you. He always insists that you’re just friends, but I can tell he has feelings for you,” Kagami explained. “So when he asked me on a date, I was so excited because I thought that he liked me, but then I show up and you’re there. I tried not to let it get to me, but he kept looking at you and then he just left me for you. He asked me on a date then spent the whole time chasing you. How do you think that made me feel? You’re always stealing him out from underneath me.”

“I’m sorry,” Marinette said, and Kagami rolled her eyes. “No, really. I am. I like Adrien, but I didn’t go on that date to steal him. Adrien told me that he liked you, but he was nervous to be alone with you, so I went to support him.”

“He doesn’t like me enough, apparently,” Kagami grumbled. “Every time you fall down, he comes running. He never even looks back at me.”

“I didn’t know you felt that way. All this time I’ve been worried about losing him to you because you’re so confident and strong and pretty,” Marinette said, and Kagami’s cheeks flushed. “I wish I was more like you. I can’t even get my words right around him half the time.”

“I am pretty amazing,” she nodded with a smirk. “But sometimes I wish that I could be soft and cute like you. Boys like that. Adrien is the first boy that’s ever asked me out. The rest are all too afraid.”

“Maybe instead of fighting with each other, we should be helping each other,” Marinette suggested. “You can teach me to be more confident, and I can help you loosen up.”

“What about Adrien?” Kagami quirked a brow.

“I already decided once that I’d be okay if he ends up with you. I just want him to be happy, don’t you?” Marinette asked, and Kagami shifted her weight. “Let’s call a truce, and let Adrien decide what he wants.”

Marinette held out a hand, and Kagami eyed it a moment before bowing.

“I accept your truce, and if you will offer it, your friendship,” she said, and a smile curled on Marinette’s lips.

“Of course.”

Slow applause sounded from the corner of the room, and they turned to see Chloe approaching with a smirk.

“Very moving, you two, but this is exactly the reason neither of you are going to end up with Adrien,” Chloe said, examining her nails.

“What because you think he’s going to pick you?” Marinette quirked a brow. “In case you haven’t noticed, he’s always running away from you.”

“Adrikins and I go way back. No one knows him better than I do,” she bragged, rolling her eyes.

“What’s his favorite color?” Marinette asked, folding her arms over her chest.

“Red,” Chloe said as if it were obvious.

“According to his latest interview in Vogue, his favorite color is blue,” Marinette shook her head, and Chloe bristled.

“Marinette is right. You are not a threat to us,” Kagami said coldly. “You’re nothing more than a self-absorbed brat who only cares about boosting her own place in life.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to end up poor and sad like Dupain-Cheng,” Chloe grunted, and Kagami stalked forward and grabbed her by the necklace.

“If you ever say so much as one thing to her ever again, I will rip every hair from your head, do you understand me?” She growled. “Now, get out of my sight.”

Chloe’s eyes widened with fear as Kagami released her hold and turned to stalk back to the main room, taking Marinette’s arm. They only made it a few steps before Marinette jerked backwards, and the foyer echoed with a rip. They spun around to see Chloe wearing a wicked grin with her food on the end of Marinette’s skirt.

“You pathetic, disgusting wench!” Kagami shouted as Marinette gathered up her skirt, tears welling in her eyes.

“This is what happens when talentless people try to play designer,” Chloe said, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’ll never be worthy of Adrien. Stop kidding yourself.”

Kagami glared as she turned and strutted off before turning to Marinette.

“It’s ruined!” She hiccupped, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“What a brat,” Kagami spat, assessing the damage. It was bad. The skirt had separated from the bodice in a long tear that Marinette held together to keep from exposing herself.

“Maybe she’s right,” Marinette said. “Maybe I’m not worthy of Adrien.”

“Don’t listen to her. She’s the human embodiment of trash,” Kagami said, attempting to reach out to her, but Marinette brushed her off.

“Tell Adrien I’m sorry. I’m gonna go sit in the bathroom and wait for my mom,” she said dejectedly before slowly limping off.

Kagami watched her go with a wince before pressing her lips together and rushing out into the ballroom.

“Adrien,” she said, taking his arm. “Marinette needs help.”

“What happened?” He sobered, spine straightening.

“Chloe ripped her dress. She’s hiding in the bathroom,” Kagami said, and he patted her shoulders.

“Thanks, Kagami,” he nodded before rushing off.

Kagami felt a twinge of longing watching him run after Marinette yet again. Adrien was so considerate and concerned for his friends; it really was admirable. As much as she loved him, part of her feared that he would never truly love her in return. He’d always be chasing Marinette, and it tore her heart in two. She was the best at everything she put her mind to, but yet when it came to love, she always seemed to be in second place with no way to earn first.

She wasn’t used to settling, and she didn’t like it. It made her feel worthless and hurt, and part of her wondered if it was worth the pain. She deserved the best, and Adrien was the best she’d found, but if he didn’t love her then was he really worth fighting for? She wasn’t sure he was.

“Marinette?” Adrien knocked frantically on the bathroom door, and the girl inside jumped in surprise. “It’s Adrien. Open up.”

“I can’t,” she replied with a sniffle.

“Kagami told me what happened. I want to help you,” he said, and she turned the ripped fabric over in her hands. “Please?”

Slowly, she stood up, bunching the fabric to cover herself carefully before opening the door. Adrien surveyed her tear-stained cheeks and sullen expression with a frown before flicking his gaze to the wad of ruffles in her hand.

“I’m sorry, Marinette. I know you worked really hard on this,” he said, placing a hand on her arm. “I’ve always known that Chloe is mean, but this crosses a line.”

“She’s always been like this to me, ever since we were little. She always does the worst to me, putting gum in my hair, spilling things on my new dresses, ruining my projects…” Marinette averted her gaze and shifted her weight.

“What can I do to help?” Adrien asked, green eyes searching hers pleadingly.

“Invent a way to make Chloe a better person,” she grunted, shifting her gaze to the tear. “I think I should just go home.”

“What? No!” Adrien stepped into her path, placing a hand on her waist.

“Adrien, my dress is ruined. I can’t go back out there like this,” she lifted her shoulders and nodded to the tear.

“I’ll help you fix it,” he insisted.

“How? I don’t suppose you have a sewing machine hiding in your coat,” she retorted, and Adrien pursed his lips in thought.

“Come with me,” he said, taking her other hand and leading her to the elevator. “The Agreste foundation headquarters does a lot of work making clothes and blankets for third world countries. There’s probably a sewing machine in one of the offices upstairs.”

“Is it really okay for us to do this?” Marinette curled her shoulders as he pulled her through the doors and hit a button.

“This is the Agreste foundation, and my name is Adrien Agreste. I’ll take the blame if we get in trouble,” he winked, and a small smile curled on her lips.

“Thank you, Adrien.”

When the elevator opened, Adrien led her down the hall, peeking into each room until they finally found what they were looking for. Adrien found a long trench coat in a nearby closet and politely turned his back while she changed. She set to work loading the thread, and Adrien watched her work with a content smile. It was fun to see her focus so hard. Cute, even.

When she finally finished, she held the dress up with a smile before hugging it to her chest, and Adrien left her to change once more. She examined herself in the mirror, swaying side to side to ensure that the damage was fully repaired. She’d have to remember to thank Kagami for if she hadn’t alerted Adrien, she’d probably be crying on the way home right now. Even after everything she was willing to forgive Marinette and help her. She could see why Adrien liked her. She was surprising soft under her harsh exterior.

“You can’t even tell it was ripped,” Adrien remarked, strolling back in with his hands in his pockets. “I really am sorry about Chloe. I’ll talk to her.”

“I know perfectly well what Chloe is like,” Marinette rolled her eyes. “Thank you for helping me.”

“You did most of the work. I just brought you up here and watched,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “You really are talented.”

Her cheeks flushed at that.

“Shall we go back to the party?” She asked, and Adrien pursed his lips, rocking back on his heels.

“Actually, I was thinking we could hang out up here for a while. We got interrupted while we were dancing earlier, and I was kind of hoping to pick up where we left off…” He flicked his gaze up to hers. “If you want.”

Marinette’s heart skipped as she gave a small nod, and Adrien pulled out his phone, setting it on a table as soft music emanated from the speaker. He pulled her in close, and she rested her head on his shoulder as they began to dance. Being so close to him, swaying slowly in his arms, making up with Kagami…Tonight really was the best night after all.

[star-spangled-eyes]

The Royal Romance Deleted Scenes, Alternate Endings & Additions...Book 1, Ch. 16

These “deleted scenes”, alternate endings and additions are from The Royal Romance – a story written and owned by Pixelberry Studios. All main story character names and fictional places are owned and created by Pixelberry Studios. Some content belongs to Pixelberry, whereas the rest is created and written by this author.

Master List of Chapters

Book/Chapter: The Royal Romance, Book 1: Chapter 16: The Beaumont Bash (Alternate Ending) “One Last Hurrah”

Content Type: Alternate Ending

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Bragnae Bennett -- *pronounced Brawn-yah)

A/N: I fell in love with this series immediately, and I always envisioned more depth and experiences with the characters to make it more realistic. I had a lot of fun writing these “moments” that we didn’t get to see in the books, especially when giving Drake and the MC a lot more time together to show just how much they care about each other. These are NOT the full chapters from the book itself, rather they add to or expand upon certain moments in the story. I do apologize that they are scattered across the series, but I am working to fill in the moments in each chapter. I hope you enjoy what I’ve decided to add to this already amazing series, and stay tuned for more posts!

***These chapters set the foundation for my fanfic series The Royal Couple.

Warnings for deleted scenes, alternate endings and additions: Adult content, suggestive and strong language, sex, violence

Warnings for this chapter: Adult content, strong language 

Word Count for this chapter: 4747

Setting for this chapter: The beginning of this chapter has references from @burnsoslow‘s “Quiet Hour” of what happened between Drake and the MC after Truth or Dare was over. It is the day after the Beaumont Bash, and Bragnae and her crew are looking for something normal and fun to do before Prince Gabriel’s coronation in a week. Let the karaoke begin!

Permatags: @burnsoslow @cora-nova @dcbbw

Bragnae rolled over to hug her pillow feeling the sunlight hit her eyelids. She slowly opened her eyes to glance at the clock on the nightstand reading 11:42 a.m. She gasped as she sat up quickly in her bed.

“I… what? I must’ve slept in!”

Just then Bragnae felt a pounding in her head, which caused her to slowly sink back down onto the pillow clutching her forehead.

“Oof. Maybe I’ll just lay here for a second more.” Bragnae closed her eyes trying to will the throbbing away.

As she tried to relax, she let her mind wander to the crazy events that transpired last night that led her to her current position.

I can’t believe I ran around the ballroom in my underwear. All in the name of Truth or Dare…well, for him. God, I’ll do anything just to catch his attention. How embarrassing. But…he does seem to enjoy when I make an effort to embarrass myself for his benefit no matter how silly it is. And he did kiss me back last night. Oh, his lips…they’re so soft. I could kiss him all day.

Bragnae smiled to herself remembering his hands touching her for the briefest of moments last night after he walked her back to her room.

He said that it was ‘the most incredible kiss’ he’s ever had. Bragnae grinned peacefully to herself as images of Drake flashed across her mind. I can’t wait to see him again. I need to see him again.

Thoughts of Drake motivated Bragnae to get out of bed despite her now dull headache. She got herself dressed, and took a few minutes to complete her morning routine before heading downstairs. On her way down, she saw a few members of the house staff plus Bertrand and Maxwell cleaning up last night’s mess.

“Hey, why’d nobody come get me?” She asked.

“You earned a day to sleep in,” Bertrand replied as he bent down to pick up another shard of glass from a broken Champagne bottle.

Bragnae was taken aback by his comment. “I… did?”

“We also thought it’d be better if we minimized the destruction from last night before you woke up,” Maxwell added.

“I could have helped you guys… You know that right?”

“We don’t want you wasting your energy when we’re heading into one of the most important events of our lives…” Bertrand said, waving Bragnae off.

“The Coronation Ball is next, and after last night, all eyes are going to be on you!” Maxwell said proudly.

Bertrand continued, “So, get what you sleep you can. It’s not long before we depart for the palace.”

Bertrand walked away toting a full bag of trash in one hand as he instructed the staff on their next steps. Realizing just how soon the Coronation Ball was, Bragnae started to panic internally.

I knew this was coming, but I didn’t realize just how soon it was. I’m not ready for it. I need more time. I need to see Drake. But maybe also Gabriel? I just need to do something with them that’s normal for once. Like regular people. Maybe Maxwell would want to go, and Hana. But what could we do?

“Hey, Maxwell.”

“What’s up?” He asked as he continued to sweep.

“I was thinking we could all go out tonight to do something fun… you know, for old time’s sake before Gabriel’s Coronation? Before things get crazy for all of us. Not that last night wasn’t fun, but I was thinking about something more ordinary than, say, riding horses in the house and breaking open champagne bottles with swords.”

Maxwell abruptly stopped sweeping dropping his broom to the floor as he raced over to Bragnae who was still standing on the stairs.

“Bragnae, you’re a genius! I’ve been dying to check out this new place here in Ramsford. It’s a karaoke bar and dance club all in one! You know, I’m always ready for a party.”

“Do you think Gabriel, Drake and Hana would want to go?”

“Go where?” Hana asked, rubbing her eyes as she descended the stairs toward them.

“Morning Sleepyhead!” Maxwell practically screamed.

“I haven’t slept in like that in a very long time,” she said stifling a yawn.

“Maxwell and I were just discussing going out tonight to a karaoke and dance club. Do you want to go?” Bragnae asked.

Come on, Hana. Say ‘yes’.

“Sure! I’m well-rested, and I’d love to try karaoke! I’ve never done it before, but I’ve always wanted to.”

“Well, apparently this weekend is full of ‘firsts’ for you! Maxwell, where are the guys? We need to see if –”

Before Bragnae could finish her sentence, Maxwell was already speaking to Gabriel on the phone.

“… Yeah. So, do you want to go?… Of course, Bragnae’s going. It was basically her idea. Ask Drake if he’ll come too... Oh, come on! He has to sing! … Okay, fine. As long as he comes. Let’s all meet up here, and go together. Okay, see you then.”

“So, what’s the verdict?” Bragnae asked, trying to restrain her excitement.

“They’re in! It’s going to be one awesome night! Oh my God, what am I going to wear? What are you going to wear?” Maxwell asked. “Let’s go pick out our outfits, ladies!”

The three of them walked briskly to the boutique leaving Maxwell’s half swept mess on the floor behind them. The girls immediately walked over to the rack of dresses as Maxwell flipped through countless shirts occasionally tossing some to the floor with a look of disgust.

“So, what kind of look are we going for at a Karaoke Bar?” Hana asked, waiting to be inspired by the perfect dress.

“We definitely need something that will stand out. We’re going to be on stage singing in front of people, so we need an outfit that looks great against the lights that will be on us,” Bragnae said as she slid more hangers across the rack.

“Glitter and sequence, ladies. It’s all about the sparkle!” Maxwell called over his shoulder.

Hmmm… what am I going to wear? I want something with color. I wonder which one Drake would like. Should I ask Maxwell what his favorite color is? No. That’s too obvious. I’m sure he’ll like whatever I pick out.

“I’ve got it!” Hana exclaimed, holding up a hot pink dress with rhinestones delicately placed in a starburst pattern. It had spaghetti straps and the front was cut low… lower than Bragnae thought Hana would choose to wear.

“That’s perfect, Hana! Go try it on!” Maxwell suggested.

Damn it. What am I going to wear?

“Hey, Princess-to-be. I think I found what you’re looking for,” Maxwell said, dangling a dress in front of him.

Bragnae turned around and her eyes grew wide. “Maxwell! That’s it! How do you always manage to find the perfect outfit for me?” She ran over to him grabbing the dress and headed for a changing room.

This is definitely going to turn some heads.

Bragnae took off her clothes and slipped on the dress Maxwell found. It had a plunging, cowl neckline held up by a halter strap, which allowed only a hint of her cleavage to show in the center of her chest. The back was completely open, and the rest of the dress hugged her curves nicely. Perhaps the best part that made this dress stand out was its green and blue gradient sequin design. She watched the dress change colors against the light as she rotated her body back and forth in the mirror.

“I want to see too, Bragnae!” Maxwell cried.

“Yes! Come see mine as well!” Hana added.

Bragnae stepped out of the changing room strutting like she was on a runway in Paris.

“Woohoo! That’s what I’m talking about! Get it, girl!” Maxwell called out.

“Bragnae, that’s beautiful!”

“So is yours, Hana! We’re going to light this club on fire!” Bragnae said confidently.

Maxwell held a deep red button up shirt against himself. “This is what I’m wearing. Talk about fire. It’s going to be an inferno up in there! I may even keep the top few buttons undone.”

“Oooh, scandalous!” Hana said.

A few hours later, Bragnae and Hana were in Bragnae’s room getting ready for the night. Hana chose to straighten her hair completely for a more edgy look, whereas Bragnae added a soft curl to hers to provide more volume against her already form-fitted outfit. They began applying their make-up, already dressed.

“You want to be bold and dramatic, Hana. Don’t be afraid to go outside your comfort zone. Here. Add some wings to your eyes with the eyeliner like this.” Bragnae turned her attention away from the mirror, and faced Hana closing her eyelids to display her own design.

“That’s so pretty! I’ve never worn gray and black eye shadow before. My mother always told me to stay with neutral tones as to not offend the eye of a potential suitor. It’s not too much, is it?”

“That’s called the smoky look, and no, it’s not too much. It’s exactly what you need for a night out like this,” Bragnae reassured her.

The girls finished with their make-up, spritzed perfume on their bodies and slipped on their black high heels. With a final look in the mirror, they headed downstairs to meet the guys in the foyer. Bragnae couldn’t help but feel a twinge of nervousness like she was meeting Drake for a date. She hoped he liked how she looked, and couldn’t wait to see him. Maxwell, Gabriel and Drake were standing near the front door talking when the girls began their decent down the stairs.

Maxwell stood facing the stairs in his deep red shirt with his collar popped, and a few buttons undone at the top as promised, along with black slacks. Gabriel and Drake also wore button up shirts, but Drake had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. Gabriel’s was a steel blue color, which complimented his eyes, and looked great with his hair. Drake’s was black, a color Bragnae had not often seen him in. He completed his look with a pair of dark jeans, which he wore very well. Drake stood with his back to the stairs, keeping his face out of Bragnae’s view much to her disappointment.

“Damn, ladies! Check you out!” Maxwell said, looking up at them.

Gabriel turned his head to the right, and Drake slowly turned around to face Hana and Bragnae.

“You ladies look beautiful tonight,” Gabriel marveled.

“They’re gorgeous!” Maxwell added.

“Oh, you guys! Stop it!” Hana playfully dismissed.

Drake stayed silent as he clenched his jaw and swallowed hard keeping his eyes on Bragnae. When her eyes met his, she felt a little weak in the knees, so she gripped the railing tighter as she continued to walk down the steps. Bragnae felt her heart flutter as her breathing increased slightly. She wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and kiss him for the rest of the night. Bragnae realized she had not looked away from Drake this whole time, so she decided to divert her attention to the others to avoid suspicion. She looked towards Gabriel who had a big smile on his face. He stepped forward to offer her a hand as she took her last step off the stairs.

“Thank you, Gabriel. You look nice.”

“Thank you, but nothing rivals the way you…and Hana look tonight,” he replied.

Bragnae turned to Drake and smiled. “Drake, I’ve never seen you in that shirt before. Is it new?”

“Nah. This is Maxwell’s. He made me wear it tonight,” he said, almost curtly. His eyes still focused on Bragnae and his body rigid.

“Well, it looks good on you.”

“Let’s go, guys!” Maxwell shouted as he threw the double doors open and walked out to the limo waiting outside.

“After you,” Drake offered.

What a polite and subtle way to check me out, Drake. Good one.

Knowing his eyes were most likely on her backside, Bragnae added an extra sexy strut to her step as she followed the others out the door. They piled into the limo and soon they arrived at the club.

“Alright, everyone. I called ahead, and got us the VIP table in the back. It includes drinks all night!” Maxwell stated.

The group sat down around the table as the waiter came over to collect their drink orders and place glittery plastic VIP bracelets around their wrists. Maxwell ran off almost immediately toward the stage and returned just as quickly with a large binder, a pen and a couple pieces of paper. Bragnae found herself seated in between Drake and Gabriel with Hana and Maxwell across from her. Maxwell flipped rigorously through the binder until he suddenly stopped and his eyes lit up.

“Oh! That’s the one!” He said as he lowered his head toward the table covering his paper with one hand writing his selection down secretly.

“What are you going to sing?” Hana asked him.

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” he replied turning his paper over on the table.

“Bragnae, do you know what you’d like to sing? I’m looking forward to hearing your beautiful voice again,” Gabriel said, smiling at her.

Drake looked over at her. “You sing, Bennett?”

“Yes, I do,” she replied proudly.

“Are you any good?” He asked.

“I guess you’ll have to be the judge of that,” she said with a wink. “I’m not sure what I want to sing yet. Maxwell, pass me the binder.”

Taking the massive binder from him, she began to flip through the seemingly endless pages. With some songs standing out, she still felt they weren’t quite right. Drake moved his leg slightly under the table brushing against hers, which made Bragnae lose all train of thought. The slightest touch from him wreaked havoc on her mind and body. She stared at the binder trying hard to steal a peripheral glance at Drake without making it obvious.

“You could sing Empire State by Alicia Keys. And ooh! I can rap Jay-Z’s part!” Maxwell offered with enthusiasm.

She smiled at him and resumed her search through the binder before seeing it. This was it. The song she would sing. It was perfect. Bragnae quickly closed the binder, and grabbed a piece of paper writing her name, song title and the artist on it.

“Do we get to know what you chose?” Hana asked.

“Like Maxwell, I too shall keep it a surprise,” she said pressing the paper to her chest.

While Maxwell and Gabriel helped Hana pick out a song to sing, the waiter dropped off their first round of drinks.

“A martini, huh Bennett?” Drake inquired.

“A dirty martini. I love them. Plus, I think I’m going to need the vodka to calm my nerves. Stage-fright sucks. I see you’re staying well within your whiskey comfort zone.”

“Why mess with a good thing, Bennett?” Drake smirked as he took a drink.

With their selections given to the DJ, the group passed the time talking about the past week’s events until the lights in the club dimmed, and the DJ began speaking.

“Good evening ladies and gentleman! Who’s ready to get this party started? Our first guest who will be singing tonight is Maxwell, A.K.A ‘M-Dizzle’ delighting us with Gansta’s Paradise by Coolio. M-Dizzle, come on up!”

Maxwell hurried up to the stage transforming his face to a hard, determined look. The signature 90’s beat Bragnae knew all too well hit the sound system as the crowd cheered.

“Wooooo! Maxwell!!!!” Hana yelled.

Maxwell rolled right into the song impressively rapping every verse, and loving every minute of it. When the chorus hit, Maxwell threw his arm in the air waving it back and forth to the beat causing the audience to do the same. His presence was commanding, and he shined on stage. He was truly in his element.

♪ Fool, death ain't nothin' but a heartbeat away – I'm livin' life do or die, what can I say? – I'm 23 now but will I live to see 24? – The way things is going I don't know ♪

“That’s for sure,” Drake said chuckling.

Bragnae moved slowly to the beat in her seat mouthing every word along with Maxwell.

♪ We keep spending most our lives – Livin' in a gangsta's paradise – Tell me why are we so blind to see – That the ones we hurt are you and me? ♪

As the song came to a close, the crowd cheered even more chanting his name. He dropped the microphone and ran into the audience high-fiving and fist bumping anyone in his path before returning to the table breathless.

“Maxwell! That was amazing!” Hana screamed.

“I loved that song so much growing up, and now I love it even more! You nailed it!” Bragnae said offering him a high-five.

“Thanks guys. That’s felt incredible! I need a drink!”

Drake shook his head while smiling at Maxwell as Gabriel patted him on the back. A few other patrons got up on stage as the group continued talking, laughing and having a good time.

“Hana, you’ll be fine. Just go up there with confidence, and you’ll kill it!” Maxwell encouraged.

Drake excused himself from the table as Bragnae turned towards Gabriel.

“So, Your Highness, will you be gracing us with your singing talent tonight?” She asked.

Gabriel chuckled. “No, I came for the entertainment. Truth be told, I’m really looking forward to your turn up there in the lights.” He smiled at her with a bit of heat in his eyes. “I have no doubts you’ll blow us all away.”

“You sure are putting me on a high pedestal. I hope I can meet your expectations.”

“As a woman of many talents, I think you deserve that high pedestal,” he said with a wink.

With the current singer stepping off the stage, the DJ spoke again. “And next, we’d like to welcome Bragnae to the stage who will be singing Christina Aguilera’s Bound to You.

Her friends cheered her on as she made her way to the stage feeling butterflies in her stomach with each step. She reached the stage and stepped up to the microphone, which she decided to keep on its stand throughout her performance. She adjusted its height, and braced herself. The music began and she took a deep breath…

 Drake heard soft music starting to play as he returned to the table noticing Bragnae wasn’t in her seat.

“Where’s Bennett?” He asked the group.

Gabriel nodded his head in the direction of the stage as Drake heard an angelic voice come across the microphone.

♪ Sweet love, sweet love – Trapped in your love – I've opened up, unsure I can trust – My heart and I were buried in dust – Free me, free us ♪

Drake was instantly mesmerized by Bragnae’s voice as he stood there watching the most beautiful sound come out of the amazing woman he knew standing on stage. As she continued, he slowly sank into his seat listening to her as every word she sang felt like it touched his soul.

♪ You're all I need when I'm holding you tight – If you walk away I will suffer tonight ♪

♪ I found a man I can trust – And boy, I believe in us – I am terrified to love for the first time – Can't you see that I'm bound in chains? – I finally found my way – I am bound to you – I am bound to you ♪

Drake was frozen in place. As far as he was concerned, he was the only one in the audience, and she was singing just for him. That voice. It’s amazing. She’s amazing.

♪ So much, so young, I've faced on my own – Walls I built up became my home – I'm strong and I'm sure there's a fire in us – Sweet love, so pure ♪

♪ I catch my breath we're just one beating heart – And I brace myself, please don't tear this apart ♪

As Bragnae came to the chorus again, Drake couldn’t help but think this song was chosen on purpose. She sang it with such passion, and it felt like it was coming from her heart. Is she singing this for me? No. It can’t be. Maybe it’s for Gabriel. But the words. It makes sense for me and Bragnae.

♪ Suddenly the moment's here – I embrace my fears – All that I have been carrying all these years – Do I risk it all, come this far just to fall, fall? ♪

That last word led Bragnae to crescendo into a loud and powerful note sending a chill throughout Drake’s body. He watched in amazement as she closed her eyes singing the next verse with conviction.

♪ Oh, I can trust – And boy, I believe in us ♪

Shit. She’s looking right at me. Oh my god. She’s not looking away.

♪ I am terrified to love for the first time – Can't you see that I'm bound in chains – And finally found my way – I am bound to you ♪

As the intensity of the song grew, Drake stopped breathing watching her, listening. Breaking her gaze for just a moment to summon the final notes of the song, she looked at him once more.

♪ I am – Ooh, I am – I'm bound to you ♪

As Bragnae finished singing the last word of the song, the lights faded off her as the crowd erupted into a thunderous applause. Hana, Maxwell and Gabriel stood to give her a standing ovation, but Drake couldn’t move. He finally let out the breath he’d been holding as he watched her exit the stage. Realizing he was the only schmuck not clapping for her, he snapped out of his temporary paralysis, and stood to join the others clapping. Bragnae joined everyone at the table receiving a hug from Hana as Maxwell playfully bowed down in front of her reveling in her stellar performance. Gabriel pulled her into an embrace as Drake watched him whisper something into her ear. She pulled back and smiled at him.

What was that about? Stop. He’s probably just telling her how amazing she was. Because she was. But look at her smile at him. Maybe she was singing it for him. But those words…it made sense for me. Maybe I want it to make sense for me, and she’s just singing a damn song. Ugh, I don’t fucking know.

The crowd was still clapping and cheering for her. Bragnae made her way over to her seat and smiled at Drake as she sat down. He joined her as he trembled slightly trying to think of something to say.

Speak. Say something, you idiot. Anything. Tell her she killed it, tell her she’s amazing. SOMETHING.

“Wow, Bennett. Didn’t peg you as a Christina Aguilera fan.”

Okay, that was dumb. Say something better. Why can’t you say something nice to her? Fucking give her a compliment!

“Uh… I meant to say, that was, uh… pretty incredible.”

She smiled at him and touched his shoulder. “Thanks Drake.”

He melted at her touch as he watched her turn to the others and graciously accept their endless praise. Shortly after, she excused herself from the table and headed back toward the restrooms. Drake finished off his whiskey trying to shake himself loose of the trance he couldn’t get away from.

“She slayed up there! I’m still freaking out about it!” Maxwell went on. “Who knew our little Bragnae was a master vocalist? We should start a musical group. We could sing and dance, and go on tour!”

As the others went on about Maxwell’s day dream of starting a band, Drake felt himself watching the hallway that led to the restrooms waiting for her to return. He wanted to look at her and never stop. He wanted to hold her and gaze into her eyes and tell her how much that song meant to him. He wanted to kiss her. God, he wanted to kiss her. He was enraptured. He didn’t care if anyone saw him do it either. If that song was truly about him, for him, then he wanted to know for sure. Finally, Bragnae emerged from the hallway, but headed to the bar instead of returning to the table. Drake took this opportunity to join her.

“Time for another drink. Anybody want anything?” He asked the group, hoping they’d all say no, so he could get to the bar as quickly as possible.

“I’m good, thanks,” Hana replied.

“I’ll take another Manhattan, Drake,” Gabriel announced.

“Could you get me a large water with lots of ice?” Maxwell requested. What the fuck, Maxwell?

“Yeah… Be right back.” Drake spoke with little energy as his attention was still on Bragnae.

He made his way over to where Bragnae was standing. She was leaning into the bar with one foot balancing on the foot rail beneath it. He asked the bartender to fill his drink orders, and turned to Bragnae with a smile.

“You know, you really were incredible up there. I’ve never heard a more beautiful voice in my entire life.”

She smiled the biggest smile he’d ever seen on her. “Thanks Drake. That really means a lot. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Singing is one of my favorite things to do.”

“So, I was wondering… what made you pick that song out of all of them?”

Drake watched as Bragnae looked down at the bar pausing to come up with her response. “It’s one of my favorite songs to sing. I can really showcase my talent with that one.”

“Oh, well… you certainly did that. I think you blew the roof off this joint with everyone’s cheers.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Come on, Drake. Just ask her.

Drake mustered up all of his confidence. “You sang with a lot of passion behind your words. It seems as if you might have picked that song to relay a message to someone.” He looked her in the eyes so intensely that he saw her draw in a sharp breath before she spoke.

“Well, Drake… did you feel that it was a message to someone?” She spoke now playfully, but also with a hint of seriousness.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Then maybe you should trust your instinct.”

Damn, this woman is so elusive with her words sometimes. Just tell me it was about me, so I can pick you up and take you out of here.

Bragnae leaned in closer to him placing her hand on his arm. Their faces just inches apart. “I’m bound to you, Drake.”

Oh my God. It was about me. Holy shit.

“Bennett, I –” Drake began.

Just then the bartender placed the drinks they ordered in front of them breaking their attention on each other.

“Come on, let’s join the others,” Bragnae said, grabbing half the drinks as Drake took the others.

They returned to the table and distributed the drinks just as the DJ called Hana up to the stage.

Hana picked up the microphone and sang Dolly Parton’s Jolene as if she’d been singing country music her entire life. The group cheered her on as she finished strong, earning loud praise from the audience.

“Well, guys, I think it’s time we head back to the estate,” Gabriel suggested.

He’s always the party pooper. Can’t he just rebel and stay out late like any normal guy? He’s not normal, asshole. He’s the Prince. Give him a break. God, you’re such a dick.

As they made their way to the doors, Hana, Maxwell and Gabriel walked outside and got in the limo. Drake was about to walk through the door himself when he felt his arm getting tugged hard. Bragnae pulled him back inside and up against a wall near the entrance. It was dark and secluded in that space, and she had him pinned. Without speaking, Bragnae reached up and gave Drake a searing kiss grabbing his sides as he kissed her back. He held her face with both hands and deepened the kiss. All too soon, she pulled away from him slowly and breathless.

“Shall we go?” She asked looking up at him.

Drake nodded as she had removed all words from his body. He only wanted her and to keep doing that. Reluctantly, she walked out of the club as he followed her. They got in the limo and made their way back to the Beaumont Estate.

Drake savored the ride back stealing glances at Bragnae, as he knew his time with her as a single woman was coming to an end with Gabriel’s coronation happening next.

[archmage--khadgar]

Hia! I always feel happy when I see one of your posts pop up on here c: why do you like Khadgar?

*Stares into space* OH GOD THIS IS gonna probably be a long post. HERE WE GO.So uh. I always really like Karazhan and the lore around it, hardcore fell in love with Medivh and pretty much ANYTHING in game that was connected I ate it up. I got the urn, the keys, all the rings, all the rep, you name it. I tried SO HARD to get Atiesh from the old Naxx but that didn’t happen. (I AM STILL SAD ABOUT THAT.) So that was -kind of- the start. In order for the next part to make sense, need to sidestep and backtrack a wee bit for context.Not to be all sob story, but I gotta be honest, I spent most of my childhood alone (either outside or in my room), reading, playing out epic stories with my toys, exploring the outdoors, and most of my social interactions with people I was either being bullied by kids at school or my mother. And y’know, despite all the stories I read or watched on t.v it was a loooong while before there were characters that made me go….”Holy SHIT I know what that’s like!?” Like there was a difference, to me, between characters like Michelangelo and Beetlejuice that I REALLY WANTED to hang out with, and then a character that made me go….”I know exactly how that character feels. What happened to them, happened to me.”Digimon was the show that broke that mold for me when not only were there two characters who had DIVORCED PARENTS!??? Like me, there was a girl who had a REALLY BAD and unhealthy relationship with her mother. (But she was still powered by love, which was awesome.)This kinda started getting me into other stuff because the more characters I found that I could relate to, the easier it was to explain how I felt to strangers and it made friend finding a little bit easier. FAST FORWARDING A LITTLE BIT.

So I certainly have a character -type- that I relate to the most. And it’s chaotic bookwork with anxiety. Fun fact: I am always dubbed “the twilight sparkle” of friend groups IRL because I was always, ALWAYS the one who was solving friendship problems and I did that looong before the show. OOPH. THE BIG PROBLEM. Was that it was getting to the point where all the chaotic bookworms were either: Evil, female (and I love gals, but that’s not my gender identity ORZ), or like. largely hated by the fandom and were always mocked.Or some combination.SO LIKE. Hey, I get introduced to Medivh and his TOWER OF BOOKS and all that shit and it’s like “Fuck yeah sign me up bro, living alone? Shitty mom? I feel you.” But then, y’know. He was a wee bit possessed and not. Exactly the good guy SO THERE WAS THAT.And then. There was Khadgar.I hadn’t been able to find the last guardian book yet, though I had read about the lore highlights online so I was familiar and stuff.And then WoD came out. And Khadgar! Was doing stuff! Which got me excited because it was more of the Lore that I really liked, and during MoP, I was hardcore going…”THE LEGION IS COMING BAAAACK. I JUST KNOW IT. CAUSE WE DIDN’T KILL KJ. SKREE.” I got called crazy and stupid a few times BUT HEY. Jokes on you fuckers I was *right*.Anyways!That first quest chain into Tannan rolls in. And it’s just. Khadgar. Being Khadgar. “Well, then I guess we owe you one.” scene hit every…“Oh fucking god bless Khadgar for the sarcastic sass”Because I really enjoy sarcasm and it’s more obvious in voice chat or in-person but my sass rhythm and tone, especially if I’m ranting is veeery similar to Khadgar’s sass.And then the PUNS. Listen. *Listen*. I hear an opportunity for a pun and I have to take it. I have to. If I try to hold it in my face starts smiling like the Cheshire cat and I sometimes let out a high pitched “eeeeeee” until given permission. After that quest chain, I quickly noticed that no one had rolled a Khadgar blog. No one! And well, I was all about having a blog where I could be free to make jokes all the time. IIRC, my first post was…”The party has arrived~!” Or something like that. I honestly didn’t expect much to happen cause I didn’t have any friends or anything like that and all the wow blogs all pretty much had their followings already and I was uh…a WEE BIT ALONE. But I was like “well even if this blog doesn’t go off I’ll at least have an outlet where I can just be me where no one will harass me.”Cause gotta be honest, I’ve never been well-liked. There was never a place for bookworms who liked puns and had anxiety in the world I lived in. If I acted like myself I was hated, and in order to fit in, I had to be someone else, which was a ditzy stupid, lazy girl. I wasn’t allowed to be trans, (still not back in Maine), or smart, and….yeah.  But hey! On tumblr, I can RP a male character that had my same sense of humor and sass and BE MYSELF and NOT BE A GIRL and all my IRL haters wouldn’t be able to stop me.And then uh, A THING HAPPENED. I no longer have the original blog because of reasons I’ll mention later, so I CAN’T REMEMBER who first started sending me asks but I know @kiyastrasza was one of them (she passed away suddenly a few months ago and I miss her SO MUCH.) But then like, I DON’T KNOW. I know I got a few initial asks because “fuck yeah finally a khadgar blog”  and honestly, I thought my blog was rubbish because it was 80% me just being my sassy nerd self and 20% studying his word usage for more serious things and getting my hands on every scrap of Khadgar related lore.”So I fully expected to get called out on being canon divergent or a shitty Khadgar or SOMETHING. Or have people ONCE AGAIN be like….”This character archetype is annoying and stupid and we all fucking hate him and hate you for rping him.”But that didn’t happen. In fact the EXACT OPPOSITE HAPPENED.My ask box kept getting filled with puns to be approved, rhyming his name with stuff became a thing and now even BLIZZ says “Dadgar” like jfc what even.And then like. I don’t even know, a lot of it is a blur because it all happened so fast but the BIGGEST THING.Was that for the first time ever, being myself wasn’t met with bullying and hate and people telling me to shut up and go away or anything like that.People -loved- Khadgar in-game. And people -loved- finding a Khadgar blog that “when I read their posts I can hear Khadgar’s voice”.  And better yet? KHADGAR WASN’T A VILLAIN! (Don’t get me wrong, I loooove AU’s but imagine being a kid and you can only ever connect to villains and then people hate you anyways IT DOESN’T FEEL TOO GREAT).And uh. Yeah. I don’t really know where to go with this. But yeah! It was the first time where I felt like nothing was wrong with who I was. That there was nothing wrong with being book smart and having a sense of humor and looking death in the face and just eye-rolling and going “Well aiight.”I mean hell yeah there’s been an epic shit ton of drama with people being jealous and making shit up and who the hell even knows what any of that was about anymore, and there’s still plenty of bullshit in my life keeping me otherwise miserable and I’m getting really frustrated that every goal I try to accomplish gets utterly destroyed in some way and I’m currently an emotional husk and I 100% HAVE NOT been myself lately as I’m a mix of grieving and severely hurt and physically ill and I’ve been broken pretty damn hard and when I pull myself back together it’s probably going to be like. 11th Doctor just turning into cranky 12 and not being pleasant BUT. The muse is still strong, the muse is honestly probably the strongest thing about me. Not because I think that I’m actually, really Khadgar and that’s ME you’re talking to in game and Azeroth is real, etc, etc. But it’s strong because that type of muse was already something that was effortless for me and part of my personality foundation. And before the blog it was withering away and crumbling and I had no self-love to keep it going anymore and then the blog happened, and even though I still have 0 self-love, I genuinely hate myself, the love from others healed it, and my love for the character, I think, is my subconscious finding a weird loophole to get around the self-hate because I CAN’T HATE KHADGAR, and fucking hell whenever I make a pun irl and someone is a shithead about it or calls me annoying over voice chat, my brain is like. “Yeah, but if Khadgar were real. He’d laugh.” And eventually, it’s like….”OKAY FINE. IT WAS FUNNY. THAT PERSON IS JUST A SHITHEAD.” I can’t remember where I was going with that. Uhhhhhh……SOMETHING SOMETHING.I absolutely hate myself and feel as if I’m undeserving of love because I’m a horrible, broken person that makes stupid mistakes and is only good for hurting others and being a bitchB U TI hate myself a little bit less when I RP a character, like Khadgar, that lines up with one of my personality foundations, and the general response to it is people loving it and telling them I make them happy.  I’ve still had more hate directed at me in the past (and sadly the present) than I have love. But uh. It doesn’t take much love to get me all sappy and crying and happy.  (Hate is a tossup, a lot of hate I can take but certain, specific things will strike me hard and fast).SO LIKE. Uh. I know the majority of my foundation at the moment is either destroyed or heavily damaged, cause I’ve also been heckin angry a lot lately and I don’t know how to deal with that at all since it’s something new so a lot of my foundation wasn’t protected against that, and I’ve certainly died emotionally a few times more this year than my normal rate of it taking a couple years or more to emotionally die and regenerate. BUT THE PART that’s still holding fast and bouncing off all the negative self-destructive shit is because of Khadgar, and all 1,297 of you (give or take) that’ve either stuck with this blog since the beginning and through a blog deletion and change or have come recently. That send in everything from ARCANE MEAT to puns, to AU ideas to random nice things SO UH. This is turning into an awkward unexpected thank you, to all of you. dashjkIt’s more than likely that I will live the rest of my life absolutely hating myself, and it’s possible that the rest of my foundations may never heal or be repaired. Even though I can easily attach some of them to characters like Khadgar for the most part, I just….eh. I dunno. No outlet and it’s not prompted ever and…it hurts still cause they’re broken. Which, eh, whatever, healing can’t be forced or half-assed, cause you can’t expect a broken leg to heal as fast as a papercut, all you can do is wait and let things heal or you’ll make it worse, but then obviously you can’t heal EVERYTHING otherwise no one would ever be disabled, but REGARDLESS.I may always hate myself. But I’ll always love Khadgar. And YOU guys love Khadgar. And you enjoy me rping Khadgar. So then I guess MAAAAYBE.It helps. With making it worth. Sticking around for a little bit longer.  :T

[ragnarssons]

Well season finales usually have some emotional moments but I don't know... maybe that line was taken from a hallucination? and then they deadass added it to bait. It would be a dirty move even for them but we'll see.

I don’t know because as some people stated, the line isn’t an accusation against Clarke. It’s more… confusion. It’s as much showing how she cares about him (calling him every day for 2199 days) and how much he feels she doesn’t (leaving him to die in the pits). For example the Blodreina projection was accusing Clarke of “giving up” on Octavia (and Bellamy) totally. It was not something that seemed conflicted about Clarke’s actions and feelings, it was full on something accusing her and hating her. All of Clarke’s thoughts, guilt and self-hatred coming from the mouth of someone she thinks hates her. I mean, we complain about a Bellarke talk missing so far, but I’d also say a Clarke/Octavia talk has been missing ever since ep11. They’ve just reunited after the whole Blodreina vs Wanheda thing, and it needed a convo to deal with it and… kinda bury the hatchet. The fact that it didn’t happen make their relationship lack of something. The point of showing Octavia in Clarke’s mindspace was to highlight her guilt regarding Octavia. But… then they didn’t address it when new!Octavia and Clarke came face to face? *sigh*I mean, are we supposed to be surprised? This show is always alwayyyys about the plot before the characters. It’s plot driven (and I hate it because so many times the characters would need to talk about things, but they don’t!). That’s why I do believe Bellarke will happen, because they’re the characters/relationship that consistently EXISTS with the plot. It is the relationship that evolves and breathes with the story as it goes- as Jroth said, “the spine” of the show. The season where all of this lacked was s5 and yet again, you could argue that it existed, just not in the way we wanted it to exist. And maybe it was natural for Clarke and Bellamy not to work in sync after six years of being apart- the problem is that it would have been more obvious/more understandable if the timejump had been more significant (again, FLASHBACKS, they coulda stole the Arrow formula and gave us glimpses of the past six years during the entire season). I will forever say that, given what they did with it, the end of s4/the time jump and s5 didn’t need to exist. You could erase them of the show, it wouldn’t change a thing. S5 didn’t move anything forward, it wasn’t new, it wasn’t original. Even the Eligius crew that could have changed the dynamic of the group today well… it didn’t, because Diyoza wasn’t part of the group during the season and now she’s dead apparently and we have no explanation and no real “justification” for that either (hence why people think she’ll come back and she’d better otherwise it would be a shitty end to an awesome character tbh). And Shaw died too. So, Eligius didn’t change shit, all the serial killers are in cryo and god knows when they’ll talk about this elephant in the room, ya kno. I think I lost myself. But to me s6 just confirmed how unnecessary and useless s5 was. If I were Jroth I woulda put everyone on a spaceship at the end of s4 and made them leave Earth at that moment. And then maybe have Monty and Harper sacrifice themselves to give birth to Jordan and help the ship go to Eligius. It’s like Jroth found an awesome - better than the 6 years time jump - idea (a new planet), one year too late, so he re-made the whole space thing just to put it in his show, like lmao. Anyway, back to Bellarke-There is a formula with them too. S6 was kinda different because they weren’t physically separated and we did see the lengths Bellamy was willing to go to save Clarke. But again, I have to agree with everyone saying that it was not enough. For all we know, Clarke could HEAR what Bellamy was doing/sharing with Josephine during ep9 and 10. So huh, why wasn’t this addressed? I get the “oh but they have to survive first!” thing, but-… that’s how you pull a cheap trick to delay something that is glaringly obvious. You don’t make Bellamy BEG for Clarke to survive, say he NEEDS her and that he’s NOT gonna let her go, and just be like “oh well they’ll talk about this once they saved their friends”. It’s the same bullshit they’ve been pulling since s4. Like okay before that, the delay was natural. She was with Finn, they were separated by MW, then they reunited but Clarke had just lost Finn and felt too guilty to “settle”. Then there was Lxa and Clarke’s grief. But-… even at the end of s4 it didn’t make sense to address what was already HUGE (excuse me, the List???). But then they separated them for 6 years. And s5 Bellarke had their issues that they didn’t talk about until 6x01 (and idk if anyone thinks this is over, because it SHOULDN’T). How is that normal? Years in the making things (Clarke calling Bellamy every day - EVERY; DAY - for six years) that weren’t addressed because “oh but the plot!” (and a shitty plot on top of that, s5 really sucked tbh). Thing is, if they ever address it, it’ll mend Bellarke so much that there is no escape to canon. So they FORCE them not to address it. And sometimes it’s so obvious that it’s embarrassing. Bellamy not addressing the fact that he put the Flame in Madi’s head? Not natural. Bellamy not responding to Clarke’s apologies on 6x04? Not natural. Bellarke not talking about how Clarke felt when SOMEONE at least was fighting for her when she, herself, in her own mindspace, was so sure that everyone had given up on her? Not natural. I mean, there are a lot of stuff that aren’t addressed as a whole. “For Monty” and all is nice, but the fact that Spa/cekru never explicitely talked about losing TWO members of their “family” is what makes this dynamic even LESS believable. The fact that Abby didn’t notice that her daughter was dead and that her reaction was not explored until right before her death is very telling too. And will Clarke even be ALLOWED to grieve for her mother? Her LAST parent, who got snatched by the same people who tried to kill HER and are torturing her daughter? Every time I think it gets better, it doesn’t, because ultimately, the plot ALWAYS takes over. They keep making Bellarke’s actions for each other more and more significant. But they never make the characters talk about it properly, so it’s just stalling at this point. Just like Bleggo and how INCONSISTENT it is (helloooo same than Bellarke, will they EVER address the lies that lie as a foundation of this relationship???? How DIFFERENT their philosophies are? Why put it in the show if you’re not gonna address it ffs??) is lazy stalling too. “Oh but look Bellamy has a girlfriend even tho we haven’t given them any scene together since ep4!!!” UGH. It’s just ridiculous, I’m gonna be honest, it’s frustrating how it’s handled. I love Bellarke when it’s intense, but the way the writers constantly drop the ball when it gets just THERE, is too obvious.  And it’s so lazily done. And it’s just to have the show going. And I mean, even if Bellarke is meant to be an ENDGAME couple, at some point, it won’t even make sense if that happens, because HOW LONG can they circle around this until it doesn’t mean anything anymore? How long can they do that until it’s just a tired receipe that won’t work at all anymore? It’s been three seasons already, three seasons of back and forth. To me, yeah, it really started going to this “exclusive Bellarke” place from s4 and going, and it’s already a lot. When I say I NEED BELLARKE TO TALK, it’s not “yeh you called me for six years every day let’s just joke about it lel”, it’s TALK. But as I said at the end of s5, talking would mean canon. There is no way around it. If Bellarke were to explore everything they do for each other and WHY, they’d be canon in the same breath. So the writers force them apart, over and over again. We’ll see in the finale, really. I can’t fathom a finale where the two leads don’t interact. And really, if they pull some space separation bullshit again at the end of the season, I might really drop the show. Because 1) it would be three seasons in a row where they do this and… no 2) it would be LAZY like they don’t have other ideas?? 3) I hate it. To me it’s contrary to the idea of the show. They’re NOT supposed to go to space, they’re supposed to find a place on the ground to settle. I was already super mad at the end of s4 where it happened. I was ANGRY that they left Earth at the end of s5. If they do it again with Sanctum/Alpha I might just-… what would be the point of the show anymore, huh? I really hope this quote “you called me every day” and all, was NOT added as bait. Because they’ve never done this and it would be really, a dirty move. They KNOW the radio calls talk (+ left to die in the fighting pits, coming from Bellamy) are two IMMENSELY important talks Bellamy and Clarke need to have. If they just teased it to bait us, then yes, it’s more than dirty, it’s shitty and I don’t want to relay on/trust the kind of people who would do that.

[praphit]

Batman, Cults, and me in Red Latex

Getting back to my roots of writing here! No movie to speak of; just pure rambling!

I started writing way back in the MySpace days. I'd get insomnia, and so stay up and ramble about stuff while drinking rum - which in retrospect is prob a lil reckless:) I found that was the way to go for me - maybe that could be the way for some  of you as well, if you ever struggle with such a thing. 

Writing and rum, baby! 

And if you're under the legal drinking age, just tell your parents that the praphit says it's ok. 

And if the police somehow get involved, tell them... 

Nah, wait, don't mention me... say some random, rambling, black dude said it was ok. And if they ask "Was this "random black dude" the rambling praphit on Tumblr, tell them "Noooooo, he actaully said to... NEVER DRINK... EVER. And that you officers are doing an ok job out there."

Writing and rum!

It works!

Like I said, I don't have a movie this time around; I'm not even sure how I started writing about movies.

I guess I could have gone with "The Lion King"

Which btw can we talk about this scam Disney is running? - telling the same story in a live-action package. And with this one it's still animated; it's not like it's done like one of those "Planet Earth" type shows - THAT would be interesting. I remember watching a clip of a lion eating a zebra, while the zebra was STILL ALIVE! The zebra wasn't even fighting back or crying out anymore... it had totally given up, as if the lion was devouring the zebra's soul and will to live with each juicy, bloody bite. Hey, Elton John, sing a song to that. #circleoflife

What if they followed real wild animals around in Africa, and watched the true circle of life. You could have the actors/team improvise the script depending on what's happening, and due voice-over. I feel like with real animals,  the "Hakuna Matata" scene might go differently.

I'm not shaming anyone for going and enjoying these movies. I had a plan to see "Aladdin", but somehow ended up seeing "Child's Play" instead 

(funniest movie I've seen all year btw). 

I might still go see Aladdin. BUT, it's still a scam. Toss in a lil controversy every now and then with the casting to inflate numbers... that mouse knows what he's doing. It's a good scam! What's next? - telling the same stories, but using puppets... sock puppets; that would be a new low.

But, somehow I feel like we'd still flock to the theatres. We love that Mouse!

I don't blame him. Kinda makes me want to run some type of scam within in music (my industry). What would be the music equivalent of what Disney is doing? I don't think that there is one. Anytime you change a song a lil bit, it's totally changed. 

If I decided to do a cover set of Miley Cyrus songs, exactly the same way that she did them, it would still be totally different. Btw, if I ever do that, please stop me. It'd be clearly a cry for help. Imagine if I started mimicking every vid she ever did as well - same choreography and outfit. 

Don't imagine that.

I guess artists put out remastered stuff sometimes, but I feel like those never sell.

...

...

Sorry, I'm distracted... still thinking about redoing Miley's vids.

I DO have a wig that matches what she has going on there (you don’t need to know why:) , and red sunglasses.

And how about me rockin some red latex??! Yeah! 

Nah, I wouldn’t do it. Only cuz I think that the chafing would be too intense, OR maybe I’ll like the way it looks and feels too much, and decide that’s simply going to be my regular look from now on... making everyone around me uncomfortable... with my intense sexiness. Don’t imagine that either; it may be too sexy from some:)

Ugh... is the fact that I'm even joking about it a cry for help?

The industry for an artist is the real scam. The music industry always wins. The game is rigged. That's why I've been thinking that we musicians should all go on strike. Everyone in music would have to be in on it though. 

Imagine your life with no music:

- no playlists (though that would have to involve some serious hacking, but imagine road trips without them) - no music in movies or shows - no sexy music to get into "the mood" - y'all would have to sing to each other -  Though I guess Aladdin and Jasmine got down like that, so y'all might be ok. New mating ritual.

- no background music anywhere you go (festivals, restaurants, strip clubs:) - we won't even sell any instruments NOTHING! Gotta go extreme sometimes to make people listen.

Maybe we'll toss people a song every now and then out of mercy. But, we'd only allow annoying songs - "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls

"My Humps" by BEP :)

It would take true power to make that happen.

I had thought about ruling the world once. I had a plan to take over the world; it was actually in motion. Yep! It would have worked too, cuz no one would have seen it coming. You would no longer call me your rambling praphit, but OVERLORD!

Like I said, no one would have seen it coming. 

Thanos... and whoever tried to dominate in Justice League in that movie. What was his name? Idk, no one cares, he was terrible. Those guys went too big. You've gotta Keyser Soze it! Play chess, not... Idk, professional wrestling.

I stopped my plans because I figured that I'd just get bored. I get bored easily. Ask anyone I work with - there are times when I'll just leave and go to the movies, or the mall, or the bar, or... on some sort of quest:) Sometimes, I'll dump a project all together cuz I'm simply not feeling it anymore.

Now, DESTROYING the world, THAT seems like it'd keep my attention. Don't worry, I wouldn't hurt the people... unless they stood in my way.

I'd make sure to ship them off to... Saturn or something... can we live on Saturn? Hmm... maybe I'll need to get help with that part of my plan. So, maybe I WILL still take over the world. Once I'm bored ruling after like a week, I'll get my man Elon Musk to ship y'all off to a planet safely, and then the fun begins!

I imagine that there'll be some resistance, though Idk why. Let's be honest, this planet is doomed anyway. We can fight about how and why, but... c'mon we all know it'll eventually burn out. So, just let me have my fun! I'll make sure that there's plenty of big screens wherever Elon sends you to for my big show:)

But, if people want to fight their first and last Awesome Master Overlord on it (I think the "Awesome Master" in the front is better, don't you?), then we can go.

You won't stand a chance though. I'll have all of the best action stars fighting by my side. That's right MY SIDE. They're used to winning; what you think they're gonna fight with you? Psssh, I'll have all of the weapons and tech... plus I'm sure I'll be some type of cyborg, mutant... wizard as well.

But, I'll also have Keanu, Statham, Denzel, Liam, The Rock... I'm realizing that the action hero world is very male dominated. I'll fix that once I'm your Awesome Master Boombastic Overlord. Which woman can I put on my team?

How about Rihanna? 

Yeaaaaaah...

I know what you're thinking - that I could have found a more... suitable pic. Annnnnd you're right.

JUST LET ME HAVE THIS! I mean look at her... DAMN!

FINE!

Scratch that. Rihanna’s not really an action hero anyway, I guess... at least not that type of action. Ooooooh! Haaaaaaa!

No?

C’mon, that’s funny

Whatever. I’ll move on.

The strongest woman in many respects that I can think of off the top of my rum filled brain is Serena Williams. So, we'll say her,

Amanda Nunes ( who doesn't get enough credit for how awesome she is btw)

Megan Rapinoe? I don't know if she can fight or not, but she's tough. I feel like if I put the arsenal of Rambo at her feet, she could save the day all day!

Annnnnnd Alyssa Milano? Idk her stance on violence or guns (though I'm sure she'd have no problem letting me know:) So Idk about her fighting, but she's resourceful though... maybe use the power of sex strikes or something.

(She’s like “Keep on joking and see what happens.”)

Where was I??

I don't remember.

I did want to address those chants from a week ago though "Send Her Back!" I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while, but those chants brought it back fresh to me.

Don't worry, I won't be getting into the politics surrounding it. - I mean what's the point? We never listen to each other anyway. I just want to say this, I have a lot of experience when it comes to cults (I know this seems like it's irrelevant, but stay with me) -

I know cults (don't ask, why let me horrify you:)

But, there are a handful of things that are foundational in cults. I'll bring up two of them:

1) Having a leader (or leaders) who is more concerned with their vision than they are about their people. So, the individuals pain, loss, abandonment, etc means nothing in comparison to their plan.

2) Having people who are all in on a person, ideal, or cause, to the point that they no longer care about the details of what leaders say, do, or sometimes don't do.

Now, the people described above aren't always meaning to be malicious. For example #1 - I've known many pastors who are good people, pure hearted, I might even call them friends in some respects, but they're blinded by their own vision (or "God's vision for them"). They're not trying to hurt others, but they do.

And #2 - they're are certainly people of admirable zeal in a variety of areas (ex. patriotism). They might not be "bad people", they might even think their position is righteous, but when we start to ignore facts, harmful behaviors... when we make ANY person (all of us being imperfect) a symbol of our "righteous cause", we've lost our way.

It's scary (especially being a minority) to see a whole nation exhibit these tendecies. And this is me being gracious (prob due to the rum I keep drinking).

BUT, enough of that... there's something else that is heavy on my heart - BATMAN (our next one that is)

Cuz... I mean... really?

Robbie P?

That's a damn shame! Nobody else wanted to play Batman? We've got the pretty boy, emo, glittery, vamp? What has he done since then? What has he done that has ever been intimidating? Even as a vamp he was lame.

And the Winter Soldier wants to play the Riddler? I don’t think that’ll happen or if the Riddler will even be in the next Batman. But, let’s say that it did. Wouldn’t it feel like they got those two roles mixed up? 

I don't even think Robbie P is intimidating enough to play The Riddler honestly. Sebastian Stan (Winter Soldier) is kinda ripped right? 

He's gonna have to lose some of that muscle before he goes up against Robbie P. I can see right now - The Riddler planning out an elaborate puzzle/trap for Batman, then seeing that it's Robbie, and being like "what do I need theses riddles for?" and then beating the living snot out of Batman. It'll be a worse beating than Bane gave him. 

Filled with rage cuz he knows HE would make a much better Batman.

Now, to be fair, I was wrong about Ben Affleck. I actually liked Ben's take on the role. It made me long for a more old, grizzled, out-of-touch Batman - hear me out:

I'm thinking old Batman, but kinda hulked out. Is Stone Cold Steve Austin still around and kickin to play this Batman?

  Gimme a hell yeah!

But, this Batman I'm envisioning is stuck in the old wmindsets of misogyny and racism - stay with me, cuz this will be an awesome Batman... well, movie... and awesome Batman MOVIE:)

To balance Batman out and keep the angry Twitter mob away from him, he'll have a team of "wokeness". Batwoman will be played by AOC.

Robin will be played by Jimmy Kimmel (you know you want to see him in those tights).

And Alfred's last wish in his will (after being mauled to death by a pack of bunnies... in the first scene of this movie) was to have his brain put inside of the body of a black woman. And that black woman will be Beyonce (cuz this movie will need a kick ass soundtrack).

Think about THAT sitch!

Annnnnd Ben Carson will play himself - he'll be Batman's token black friend/informant.

Already, the best movie ever.

I could see a scene going down like (Bats and the Woke Gang are in a bar... cuz my Batman will be an alcoholic... this Bats has a lot of problems, but he'll be real and raw... YES!)

Batman (after having the waitress bring him two more shots of whiskey, slaps her on the butt and says "Thanks, Sweetness.")

WokeTeam: "Batman! You can't do OR say that!"

B: "What?! Why?!"

WT: "It's ...just awful."

B: "What? If I don't smack her on the butt, how will she know that she did a good job? I'm being helpful!"

WT: (lots of arguing)

B: "Ok, ok, I won't do that... or call her that I guess... how about lil lady? is that ok? or Sugar Plum?"

WT: "Her name is Lisa"

B: "I got it! BIG BOOTY"

WT: "What is wrong with you? - that's ridiculous! Look, we'll deal with that later. Let's hurry up and get to the crime scene. And on the way we want to talk to you about the confederate flag on the Batmobile...annnnnd the Kaepernick sticker that calls him a Son of a Bitch"

B: "Why? He hates America. And there's nothing wrong with that flag!"

WT: "Bu, Batman..."

B: "No, no, I know there isn't, let me call Ben."

Sooooo, there are scenes like that, BUT he's also out there kicking major ass! It'll be like "Matrix" action meets "Sin City" action. And we'll update the villains -

Bump N Grinder

Fyre Man

 and his side kick “The Sucker”

“The Comedian?” (that question mark is part of her name)

Keep the classics of course

Annnnd his arch nemesis Iggy Azalea 

- ruining Hiphop wherever she goes.

And in the end asses are BRUTALLY kicked, sure, but Batman also learns some important lessons... or... or simply blows his brains out. Cuz let's be honest, some of us would rather blow our brains out than try to change.

Hey, DC... call me.

My next movie will prob be "Once Upon a time in Hollywood" 

cuz of my main man Leo! - though idk about the premise. Now, if they were making "Fight Club 2" with this cast, then definitely! What if Leo and Margot Robbie (who’s also in this) are also in Edward Norton’s head; duking it out. YES! Imagine if Quentin Tarantino directed Fight Club with his typical bloody style; we’d all still be horrified). 

So maybe "Hobbs & Shaw" 

 - those two of course, but Idris Elba is in that too! I love him!

He would have been a great Batman! I bet he could have gotten that role if he had tried. He def could have gotten that James Bond role if he had tried. But, nope, instead he decided to do "Cats"

I'll leave y'all on that thought.

[arabian-batboy]

What’s your opinion on Damian’s new run of Teen Titans? From the characters to the comic in general?

Well we have only seen them working in 4 issues so far and the comic is a monthly-shipped so it would probably be a while before we get to know them real well.

Now I do have some opinions on the way DC is currently handling Damian in general, however if you’re going to ask me about the new Teen Titans alone without how it fit with the rest of the comic world then I have to say that it was a huge improvement from the last Teen Titans comic. It seems like in an extremely rare events, DC had took notice to (only some of) the criticism they got toward their attempt at reviving the classic Teen Titans team line-up, with the biggest one being that Damian didn’t really have the right dynamic while working with those characters and that it felt like they made him lead them just for the traditions because he’s the current Robin and everyone knows that Robin is supposed to lead the Teen Titans, with Starfire is being pretty and clueless, while Beast Boy is cracking jokes and Raven is in the background being emo. But this dynamic is too out-dated and simply isn’t appealing anymore, especially with Damian’s character being their leader.

But enough with tearing down that team, the evil has been defeated so we don’t have to think about that mess again (hopefully).

Now right out of the bat the new Teen Titans caught my attention, because half of the team were newly created characters and I personally thinks that OCs as supporting characters are usually better than already established characters in supporting roles because in the former you can actually mold the OC’s personality to perfectly fit with the centered characters, unlike the the later where you can’t change too much of the already existing character’s personality to further the development and plot in fear of making them act out of character (not to say that this scenario doesn’t happen A LOT in comic books.) So having newly created members be a part of the team was something positive for me (even though I believe that there are already characters in the DC universe who were never part of the TT and would still be an awesome team with Damian, but that’s a rant for another day)

When it comes to each member of the new team and their relationship with Damian, then it’s definitely too soon to talk about it just yet, but the first impression that I got was something like this (ranked from the least to most liked):

Roundhouse: The Beast Boy of the team, no I’m serious, that’s literally how his creator described him, which is concerning to me because while having someone to lighten up the mood is important, I don’t think that’s good enough foundation for a character, also I may love his friendship with Wally and how he discovered him on Youtube, but I don’t like the fact that Damian (and Emiko) don’t want him in the team, that’s a recipe for disaster.

Red Arrow: Speaking of her, my biggest turn off about her is how sometime she just comes off as an older female version of Damian, now I understand that Damian doesn’t own the personality traits that he has and that Emiko may act like this in every comic she is in, but at the same time having her be so similar to Damian is boring and add nothing to the table.

Kid Flash: Now he’s a good character and I don’t have a lot to say about him, but I do think he needs some reasons/motivation to be in this team since he just seems so different to everyone else in the team (except for Roundhouse who’s only in the team thanks to Wally) so yeah, I don’t like to say this a lot, but I lowkey don’t think he’s “hardcore” enough as it is to be in the team.

Crush: Now we are getting to the good stuff. I love Crush, I think she’s fantastic and she’s my second favorite new addition to the team. My only complain is that I’m hoping that they would give her character more depth as the story progress, because at the moment it seems like she’s heading to the “one-dimensional token tomboy” route if things stay the same.

Djinn: (on a side note, I hate this anglicized spelling of the word, why not just call her genie instead?) Ironically my favorite and the one I’m the most comprehensive about. I like her concept and powers and the fact that she’s an Arab hero and unlike Roundhouse, the writer said that she’s not a Raven, so we don’t have to worry about her being a recycled character. Although if anything I think she’s more similar to Stafire than Raven, especially her relationship with Damian that mirrors Stafire relationship with Dick and that’s the thing I’m comprehensive about. While I love Djinn, I just don’t think I want to see Damian in a romantic relationship ever (or at least until he’s an adult) but the romance is too strong to ignore, so who know what will happen? I just know I like her and I like her being friends with Damian.

And that’s it folks, like I said we have only seen four issue so far so who knows far things will change or not in the future, but so far this is how I see it.