#also wtf is lance's shirt

[interpolationz]

four years counts for a lot of improvement apparently

[girlboypersonthingy]

can I request a list of like green flags and red flags for each of the characters in voltron? btw I love your writing:)

Hello friendo, thank you sm! Thanks for the request, I adore this idea. Also…Sorry y’all, I was posting like every other day for two weeks and then I hopped off for like two months. Oof life is really life-ing rn. I honestly chose to write this prompt before a lot of other requests bc it seems like an easy and short thing to bust out quickly. I swear, I will get to the rest eventually 🩵 keep sending in requests if you’d like! And as always… ENJOY~

KEITH ❤️

Red Flags 🚩

TERRIBLE AT COMMUNICATING. We all know Keith is stubborn and easily overwhelmed with a short temper. He doesn’t really know how to talk to people without getting angry. He feels that bc he has a hard time explaining exactly what he means, people never understand him and that makes him mad.

Bro isn’t scared of anything…and that low key scares everyone else. Like…who isn’t afraid of anything? The whole team has tried sooooo hard to figure out what will get Keith to jump out of his skin and scream like a child but to no avail… Boy just doesn’t flinch, doesn’t care, couldn’t care less about bugs and rodents and clowns and heights or anything like that.

Wears his gloves in the shower sometimes. Like wtf ???

Green Flags ✅

Also bc he is not afraid of anything, boy will protect his friends/family/partner SO HARD. He will verbally AND physically tear someone apart just for looking at you the wrong way. Very protective and caring but in a good way ya know?

Actually very selfless and not self-centered in the slightest. Keith is very giving and helpful, despite his tough exterior, he’s very caring, observant and considerate. He’ll give the shirt off his back to someone in need. He’s always down to help others. Ugh Sweet heart ❤️‍🔥

Has a sick ass space wolf that will also protect you like COSMO IS A MAJOR PLUS OKAY BIG GREEN FLAG DOGGO

LANCE 💙

Red Flags 🚩

Obvi his biggest red flag is how flirty he is. Boy will flirt with anything that breaths and that can get really annoying sometimes and affect the rest of the team.

Jealous AS FUCK. Like the petty jealous type. Lance is the kind of guy to pretend he has a partner back home just bc some alien girl he was flirting with said she had a partner already. He’s like “OH YEAH? Wow cool me too, same same, yeah….” But homie’s ego is a bit sore now…

Lies a lot. Lance just panics sometimes and tells a lie. He knows it’s wrong and he always feels guilty after lying to someone but it always just slips out. His mouth moves faster than his brain most the time.

Green Flags ✅

THE BEST HUGGER/CUDDLER OMFGGGGGG. Lance is the best hugger and cuddle buddy ever, period, end of story, try to change my mind. His long arms always stretch fully around the recipient’s torso and he squeezes tight enough to make you feel warm but not smothered. Usually will rest his chin on the other person’s head if they’re short enough (so Pidge obvi).

Very aware of other’s moods/body language/tone of voice. Everyone thinks Lance is “the dumb one” but he’s actually very in tune with what’s going on in the moment, what’s going on around him. I think he can tell how others feel the second he sees them. Good intuition kinda thing. An empath for sure.

Very considerate and often remembers the little things about people. Does he remember what he learned in class just a couple days ago? Pffft heck no! Does he remember everyone’s birthday, every year and get them a very thoughtful gift? HELL YEAHH I LOVE THIS SWEET BOY OMFG 🩵

SHIRO 🖤

Red Flags 🚩

Honestly…idfk Shiro is so perf. Perfect baby boy all the way

Maybe he could seem too nice at first…? Like when someone is nice but ur like “are you for real? Or are you fake and evil and you’re hiding something?” I think Shiro could be perceived as being fake nice at first.

Omg I feel like Shiro is one of those “ oh no, that looks delicious but I can’t. I’m watching my carbs.” YOU KNOW SHIRO IS A GYM DUDE WHO COUNTS HIS CALORIES PLZ

Green Flags ✅

ALSO AN A+ HUGGER. Imagine those big ass arms holding you so softly and so close to his big, warm body. Omg so comforting, so relaxing. Often gives a gently squeeze just before letting go and pulling away. Ugh 😩❤️‍🔥

Literally the most trustworthy man in the universe. Will defend his friends, loved ones, and planet until the end of time. Shiro would die before revealing any secrets you’ve asked him to keep. The best person to vent to bc he’ll never tell another soul about it. He’s like a personal diary

Shiro is sooooo patient. Definitely the most patient one on the team. He really does take his own advice…ya know, patience yields focus 😌 very sweet, calm man. We love Shiro

PIDGE 💚

Red Flags 🚩

GIRL WILL WORK HERSELF TO DEATH PLZ GO CHECK UP ON HER, BRING HER FOOD AND WATER, GENTLY FORCE HER INTO BED SHE NEEDS SLEEP.

Lowkey kinda moody and can get snappy very easily. Pidge is a sweet heart and very smart and a good team player but she’s also stubborn and will yell to get her point across or make herself heard (she’s an Aries…what’d you expect?)

Sometimes very conceited and braggy about how smart she is. Like yeah Pidge, we know you’re a genius and you could code in your sleep. WE GET IT. UR SMART. GEEZ 😒

Green Flags ✅

Pidge is so baby. Yeah, she can get snappy and braggy sometimes but…SHES SO BABY PLZ FORGIVE HER. She’s just young and stressed okay? Give her a break. She’ll apologize eventually with puppy dog eyes and a soft voice and while she looks adorable, she is being sincere and really wants to resolve this.

Very loyal and determined. I mean look how hard she searched and fought for her dad and brother. She won’t stop for anything or anyone once she has her mind set. Pidge Will never leave you behind and will always turn back to help someone in need.

Androgynous royalty. Pidge is soooo chill about her gender and identity. We love a confident babe 🏳️‍🌈💚

HUNK 💛

Red Flags 🚩

Boy is too scared sometimes. I think Hunk has really bad anxiety and it’s not the anxiety that is the red flag, it’s how he copes with it…which he doesn’t. Hunk let’s his anxiety get the best if him sometimes…but he’s trying.

Honestly…does Hunk really have any other red flags??? Baby boy is so sweet idk 🤷🏻

Over eats to the point of getting sick sometimes…and never learns his lesson. (Me asf)

Green Flags ✅

THE SWEETEST MOST CONSIDERATE AND THOUGHTFUL MAN IN THE UNIVERSE OMFG WHAT A SWEET HEART 😩💛 honestly just a very good guy. We love Hunk.

Obvi his cooking skills!!! Can cook for any occasion, on any cooking surface, in any conditions. Can cook so many different dishes from so many rich cultures around the world! So talented. His food always hits.

THE ABSOLUTE BEST at cheering others up. Soooo funny and silly and kind and relatable. He tries so hard to brighten others’ days when they need it. Will stop what he’s doing just to go cheer up a friend or loved one and watch them smile again.

MATT 🧡

Red Flags 🚩

Interrupts A LOT. In any given conversation, he will interrupt and talk over someone else at least once every minute. Can get really annoying sometimes but in his defense, if he waits too long to speak up, he’ll just totally forget what he was gonna say.

Like Lance, I think Matt would be overly flirty and act like a Fuck boy sometimes. Like bro sit your nerd ass down, that person is SOOO out of your league plz chill.

Can not take anything seriously (unless it comes to his family or his or anyone else’s safety) but day to day, Matt makes so many dumb and inappropriate jokes at the worst times. Ugh 😒

Green Flags ✅

Very brotherly to everyone he considers a friend or family. Protective, constantly checking up on others, making sure they have eaten, asking if they need anything from him. He cares a lot. Bonus points bc he’s a very good brother to his actual sibling too. Aww Pidge and Matt are sibling goals. 🥹

HOT AS FUCK NO MATTER HIS HAIR STYLE/LENGTH. You can fight me on this. Matt is gorg and so is his hair at every single moment throughout the show.

Extremely accepting and open minded. Matt treats everyone he meets equally and never seems phased when he meets others so different from himself. He may ask some questions for the sake of his own curiosity, but would never pass judgment on another person.

[atla-what-is-this-site]

all of my Shiro headcanons because hot damn I have a lot (+ brief Adashi/Shadam-)

Raised by his grandparents with a vodka aunt type father.

Dreamed of being an astronaut since he could count

Feeds the stray cats that roam his neighborhood

Likes cats because as a kid he had a ginger cat named Kenji who used to sit in his lap while he did homework/studied-

Thinks that he would be horrible parent-

he and Adam were ✨roommates✨ (oh my god they were roommates-)

He and Matt tease each other constantly,

Kinda just- calls Sam Holt “Dad”- it’s a running joke that Shiro is the favorite child-

“Dad, I’m- I’m gay..” “Hi, Gay, I’m Dad.”

sober ride home

“The guy your dad likes and calls ‘son’”

Handwriting is shit-

constantly forgets words in both English and Japanese .

Likes wearing vibrant Hawaiian shirts but will only wear plaid on special occasions

self-conscious about his age, so he’s not a big fan of being called “Dad”

Straight-A student

“AdAM”

It’s a running joke at this point that Lance is trying to figure out what eyeliner Shiro uses and Shiro dodges the question- like seriously it’s waterproof, never fades, wtf Shiro is your eyeliner a birthmark?

Listens to 70s music

when two of the team are fighting, he will pick up the smaller of the two (the exception is if it’s keith and Pidge, he picks up Keith), and takes them to another room, so that they can cool down while he talks up the other person-

Shiro is like the guy who will spend 3 hours sitting there and talking to the guy who sold him his car while you (keith in most of these situations) sit on the bumper awkwardly like he’s not making you uncomfortable on purpose but like see human must talk to human thing-

will, in fact, walk into a wall if he’s walking while also talking to you-

just, over all, guy next door personality-

[ishibishie]

Did Lance, Aubin, and their kids do anything for Fathers' day?

OMG THIS ASK MAKES ME SO HAPPY WTF? <3 winterwyvernshipping nation where you at

considering that both eirini and finley were Two Sad Miserable Children That Two Gay Idiots Picked Up Off The Streets(tm) i can see the kids just. being happy they GET to celebrate father's day at all (times two!). so they don't need to do anything special because having two great fathers who wanted to give them that second chance at love is celebration enough <3 maybe a little family trip to lumiose city and some quiet stargazing back home :) also finley 100% handmade a card but it's that classic child "HAPpy fathersday" thing because he too is not immune to misjudging how big your handwriting is and how little space is actually on a folded sheet of paper. that card is absolutely on the fridge now

aubin and lance would def have a nice homemade dinner together via aubin's secret "i'm going to open a cookbook from my massive collection of cookbooks i never read and randomly select a thing to make, i've never made this before bon appetit" trick card. just talking about how cute their kids are and how happy they were to make those big decisions of taking those two in <3 aubin also made lance one of those stupid "world's gayest dad" shirts just to fuck with him (because 70% of their relationship is aubin fucking around with lance to tease him, he's french he can't help it)

[mossterious]

S4 thoughts as I Go!!!

MERLIN VS THE KITCHEN STAFF! IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!!

I love that Merlin and Arthur will forever be bitches to each other. It is a love language. An artform, even.

Oh rip Uther he is dealing with the consequences of his actions

Oh wait okay so we have ANOTHER time skip. Fun.

HEY. HEY ARTHUR. UNCLES ARE ALWAYS EVIL. GET OUTTA THERE.

PERCIVAL CARRYING THE KIDS YAYYYYYY

Yeah that’s right it’s a naked moleratttttt (I love you wilddeoren)

Fuck you evil uncle man.

GWEN IS GONNA BE SUCH A GOOD QUEEN LOOK AT HER GOOOOOOOOO

Elyan also rules now that he is allowed a personality

LANCELOT. HEY. NO. WTF. HEY. NO. LAMCELOT????? NO.

Anyway me and my brother were discussing that when Lance died he should’ve written in his will that 1) Merlin is his weird magic gay son and 2) the knights should know he has MAGIC and NO SURVIVAL INSTINCTS

Secondly we also decided that you could get Merlin to do literally ANYTHING just by saying it’s a prophecy. Like- “you are destined to eat 3 square meals a day or Camelot will fall” or “if you do not get 8 hours of sleep the kingdom will never know peace”.

The average person in Camelot gets enchanted 0 times in their life, Enchantment Arthu is an outlier adn should not have been counted

OLD MERLIN OLD MERLIN OLD MERLIN (part deux!)

Merlin looks so sad and wet and cry-y

Also Merlin literally is NOT allowed easy simple choices my poor sweet boy

If you cannot tell Uther is fuckin dead

Dragon baby, Dragon baby, come along to Dragon Baby-

ARTHUR NO STOP MAKING BAD CHOICES

AND DONT YOU DARE ME MEAN TO GWEN. DONT YOU DARE BE MEAN TO GWEN. ARTHUR. NO.

Poor sad grief baby.

The evil uncle really is peak evil uncle tho. Plotting murders, manipulating boy kings, conspiring with the largest enemy of the kingdom- he’s clearing off the whole damn checklist.

The fight between Arthur and that champion from the other kingdom, it was literally just Morgana and Merlin play fighting with dolls it’s so funny. Like yeah, those two guys are fighting, but actually Morgana and Merlin are playing chess in the bg

ARTHURS GIVING GWEN FLOWERS AND APOLOGIZING AWWW LOOK AT HIM GOOOOOOOOOO

OH YAY KILLER MERLIN TIME

I love how Merlin is always a bitch but now he’s a slightly different flavour of bitch and everyone’s like ‘woah he’s DIFFERENT’

Leon fully thinking that Merlin was joking about the crossbow. God I love him.

Thank god Gaius and Gwen figured out the mind fuckery that quickly

GWEN OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THE STEEL WATER JUG

Old Merlin again again againnnnnnn

And it means that Merlin gets to do all the magic he wants ehe :) look at him go :)

btw my mom is SO GLAD that the intro changed from young boy to young man. So happy.

I’m just glad that we get all the tavern jokes now. I love it sm.

I keep getting stressed out that Merlin has new clothes this season. Why he is in a DIFFERENT BLUE SHIRT? AND A EVER SO SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT BANDANA??? A RED SHIRT?????? A GREEN BANDANA???????? nooooooooo he doesn’t look rightttttttt

GWAINEEEEE

Elyan standing up for Merlin when he’s being the acting physician <333

Gwaine !!!

Also holy moly this post is long I apologise

The Lamia is so funny because it’s like- technically it doesn’t work on Merlin because he has magic. But also it’s kinda cuz he’s the only gay guy in a sea of bi knights. HOWEVER, Gwen is also immune because of being a woman, but Gwen is also so very bi to me… which means either the lamia just can’t use magic on any woman since THE LAMIA is straight, or Gwen is ace and demi-ro, which I’m liking more and more.

#1 rule of Camelot NEVER ACCEPT JEWELLERY EVER.

The Lancelot shit is well done tbh but also GAH I HATE IT

ARTHUR STOP BEING MEAN TO YOURSELF YOU LOVE GWEN YOU IDIOTTTTTT

However Merlin sabotaging Arthur’s new marriage IS hilarious

But the new fiancée is SO CUTE. I like that they weren’t like ‘anyone but Gwen just fundamentally sucks!’ No she’s cute actually. Perfect wife material. Kind and funny and not easily embarrassed and genuinely liked Arthur and a good political match- But she’s not Gwen, and that’s the important bit.

Deer Gwen !!!

Oh yay everything’s gone to shit!!!

SANTIAGO IWTV??? WHY ARE YOU HEREEEEEEEE!?! (I did not recognise him besides a ‘he is SOMEONE’)

Also Merlin and Arthur fighting together super in sync!!! Merlin tossing the crossbow bolt- they’re so CUTE.

Arthur’s cunty peasant crop top

Gwen!!!

THEYRE SO CUTE AND I HATE THEM! ARTHUR GOING BACK FOR MERLIN AHHHHH

Also we are NOT talking about Isolde’s absolutely terrible ‘warrior’ leather tank top. We just aren’t talking about it. At all. This is me not talking about it. (GOD ITS SO BAD WITH HER TIMELESS BEACH WAVES AND HER LEATHER CROP TOP ARMOUR-)

GWAINEEEEEEEE

Elyan and Percival’s bestiesm means so much to me btw. I love them.

ITS CORINATION DAY! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVERRRRR-

Gwen’s dress is beautiful, her crown is even cooler, and Merlin HAS ANOTHER NEW SHIRT

Baby dragon!

They keep giving Morgana an evil bestie, killing them off, and then just giving her a new evil bestie??? She could just be evil by herself!!!

*sees knew character* EVILLL. And! I’m! Always! Right!

Side note- Gauis’ hair???????

MORDRED HI HONEY!!!

We are now differentiating young Mordred by calling him Mini Mordred btw

I love Merlin calling the dragon it’s always so fun idk man

I’m finally watching Merlin!!! I cannot tell you why I never have before.

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Mary I had a Thought™️

We were talking about Merlin and Lancelot, but what about Arthur and Lancelot? I’d imagine they’d have a very interesting dynamic, so do you have some headcanons?

absolutely I do!!! honestly I thought about it a few days ago when I was like, daydreaming, and Arthur popped in to ask if anyone had seen Gwen, to which Gwaine replied like "yeah she's probably with Lancelot, having dinner or something" because ofc she is if she's not with Arthur, which made me question: if Arthur/Merlin, Lance/Gwen, Merlin/Lance and Gwen/Arthur are like the main parts of their relationship then wtf are Gwen/Merlin and Lance/Arthur like????? idk if anyone was able to follow that thought process but not knowing annoyed me so I'm happy I can get some of these ideas out of the way

I feel like them sharing a bed is something much more important than them sharing a bed with like, the other two, you know? I can't even tell you why, but when Arthur's in Merlin's bed for example, that's very different compared to him sleeping next to Lance. Genuinely want to see them snuggling up to each other half-naked because the both of them always sleep without their shirts on (much like the rest of the knights, and it's not like anyone's complaining. like you can't tell me that any of them are having their shirts on when they're sleeping. Gwaine would just completely and wholly sleep naked if people would let him)

Genuinely I believe Lance would be the person who would work Arthur through his inability of confessing feelings and emotions in general, of any kind, unless he thinks he's going to die. Lance would just patiently sit with him and explain and listen and talk and make him feel so comfortable, so very definitely different than his father, and it helps Arthur so much.

Also Arthur remembering all his insecurities and phobias and protecting him!!!! for example if there's a bonfire, he's the first to tell Lance, and no matter that he's the king, he always takes his time to make Lancelot feel comfortable or bring him away from the situation. Same with lakes and everything.

Okay so we just talked about this which is why I'm gonna write it down real quick: Arthur needed a loooooong time to realise that something was even up with Lancelot. Like, that guy was blushing and stuttering and tripping and acting like an idiot whenever they were very close or even alone, and Arthur just. didn't notice. and kept asking Lancelot if he was sick (and also asking the others, who all just shook their heads and walked away laughing).

Lancelot being the only one that can always best Arthur in combat. At first it annoyed him but now he just finds it really awesome to have found the one person better than him in every way and also be dating him. Their enemies are bawling their eyes out at this newfound knowledge.

Them not really going on dates alone, but instead being that one royal emperor pair that you always see in fantasy stories. like you know, the people who love each other so very much!! but also never do anything together unless they're running their kingdom. it's not that bad for them like, they do spend time together, but they just don't really go on dates, because honestly, being a knight and being the king takes quite some time.

I would like to say that I wrote this at 4am so I'm not surprised it turned out this way

[fandom-cuties]

Season 11 episode 16 MID-FINALE LIVE REACTION Commentary

IS THAT FUCKING AARON ON THE GROUND?!

How many people are at Hilltop? NOBODY?

OMG EUGENE HAS A GAME! Finally with the real Stephanie, Max

Eugene wearing a math shirt seems to like him.

What’s that noise?

WHY IS EVERYONE LOOKING AT THE SKY?!

Negan and Maggie along with Annie, I like it. Improvement on both sides

WHAT IS THAT?! WTF? DRAGONFLIES

That snake as symbolic to Gabriel is a snake love it

Badass fighting scene

I swear Daryl must have been experiencing hearing loss after all these years.

Commonwealth soldiers have a godawful aim.

Hornsby 😂 run like hell. Daryl is coming for your ass

Max is beautiful

Pamela is a preppy bitch. Max's idea is amazing

Sebastian you are good bro

You look awful

Omg tug of war no. MY. ANXIETY ���

Awesome movie trap

NOT MARCO! It was him in the beginning. Kids are always dying

Maggie's face of YOU ARE STILL ALIVE BUT ALSO Daryl lied to her.

Leah is brutal letting those men to their deaths to draw them out.

Hornsby is pissed and Leah calls their deaths collateral damage. He does the same shit. Hypocritical

Oof Daryl found out Leah is nearby

It’s kinda hard to pinpoint sounds of steps if it’s covered by that bug

THE LOVE THIS NEW GROUP REUNION at commonwealth. The big brains group!

No sound of watermelon interesting

MAGGIE GET COVER!

Maggie is gonna kill Leah! Bet

YES SHOT WHAT!!!!! She isn’t there

Damn Maggie got the knock the fuck out

Is this the stupid cabin? Season 10

DARYL YOU BETTER SHOW UP

Leah threatening her family is no no

The fear in Maggie's eyes

I am guessing Leah found their hideout and led Lance's group to them

Maggie! KICK HER ASS! Oh god! She gonna stab her.

Daryl?

IT IS! He killed her. THANK GOD

OH LEAH WAS leading them to the cabin to see Maggie's body.

Damn Daryl looks sexy in the scene.

I am guessing now everyone is on the run because Hornsby knows their locations? Alexandria and Hilltop and perhaps ocean side. Pamela is pissed off with that newspaper article.

OMG HE IS TAKING IT EVERYTHINg. ARE OCEANSIDE PEOPLE KILLED OMG?

WILD EPISODE!

HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE PART 3 TO BE RELEASED

[little-red-toyota]

Final good bye to the fandom

TW//Trauma, triggers, nsfw, sexual themes, rape, domestic abuse e.g.

This is gonna be a long ass post…

It has taken me a while to get emotionally strong enough to do this, as I will have to think back at some traumatic events from my past to address some of these things. That's why I waited until I got home from vacation with my family, as it will seriously affect my mood and mental health, and I want to be near my doctor and therapist, just in case.

And also, I know that the majority of those reading this will invalidate me and tell me I am making things up to clear my name. So, I literally have to torment myself to write a blog post people will just brush off as bogus anyway. But I will do it now that I am in safe surroundings. Then it will be off my chest, and I can finally move on. If people will continue stirring up the past, it will be their problem, not mine.

I think I should write one last blog post where I address everything. I have left the TTTE-fandom, but I will write that one as my final goodbye to the fandom. I just have to find out everything I've been accused of so I can properly address them all in order. I might leave out details of my life that is too hard for me to open up about. I know most of you will just invalidate me anyway.

1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

2. My mafia-AU.

3. The Darin incident.

4. Being a pedophile. (Where do they get this from anyway??)

5. Running the NSFW-blog.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

Is there more?

Ah... yes! Faking my own suicide, of course!

7. "Faking" being suicidal.

8. Having the audacity to survive and go on living.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

Anything else that needs to be addressed? What else am I being accused of? Send me a dm and I will add it to the post.

 Okay, I will bump the Stepney fic down a bit as it is the most traumatic thing for me to address, I will save that one for last.

2 and 3. The dark au/mafia au where I gave some TTTE characters some rather dark and unpleasant character traits, and the whole incident with Darin and the pedo-Salty was addressed in this blog post written by my husband last year, so I am not opening that can of worms again: https://little-red-toyota.tumblr.com/post/623743183795470336/in-light-of-recent-events

Even the thing about Toby cheating on Henrietta is addressed there.

As for the au, I never fully explored it as I started losing interest in TTTE around the same time. I found other things to enjoy and TTTE faded into the background and the au was dropped before I even wrote any stories, apart from the one about Toby and Henrietta.

Some people claim, like this lovely individual, that most of the characters were rapists and pedos. No, not most. Only one of each. And I did not write more than one story about rape and suicide. Where does this person even get that from? Someone who told someone who had heard from someone who might have heard….?

Don't spread rumors unless you are sure that they are true.

Anyway, it's all addressed in that blog post in that link. I don't see how this mafia au is any worse than other dark post-apocalyptic or violent aus. It mostly was about the diesel mafia and their illegal businesses, not about sex, even if it did occur now and then. I find the substance abuse in it to be more problematic tbh…  

 4. Being a pedophile.

I don't even know how to defend myself against this one, as I don't even know why people think I am pedophile. They only throw the accusation out with no backing evidence, so I have no idea where it comes from or what it is that makes people think I am one.

Apart from one claim that I had faved "porn" alongside "strangers'" baby photos on DA. I addressed that earlier though. As DeviantArt doesn't sort what you click "like" on, it all ends up in the same folder unless you actively go through it and sort it into categories, which I don't bother most of the time. It also doesn't say WHEN it was added to your faves. So, I can have faved an artistic nude on Saturday, and then faved my friend's family photo on Thursday. It's not like I actively search for porn, get all steamed up and then look at pictures of children. WTF.

The few children I have faved are not from complete strangers, but long-term friends of mine. Yes, it is possible to have friends on the same website. I have actually met a lot of my RL friends through DeviantArt. I posted photos of my daughter when she was a baby, they would fave it and congratulate me. So, I did the same when they had a baby. As simple as that. Nothing weird or perverted about it. Due to people doxxing me last year however, I deleted the photos of me, my husband and my daughter from DeviantArt, so it's no longer there.

Porn isn't allowed on DeviantArt anyway. The nudes there are so-called artistic nudes, and for the most part I use them as pose-references when I draw as it is easier to draw a pose using a nude base and then dress them up once you got the pose right.

"The very naked" centaurs I have faved. Well, I like the mythological creature Centaur. And as far as I know… they do not wear clothes, so how are they NOT nude? Look it up, it's a horse body with a human torso instead of horse head. I don't see them as sexual, but what do I know? Maybe YOU do?

I have no sexual interest in children whatsoever.

 5. Running the NSFW-blog on Tumblr and Twitter.

Yes. I was one of six people modding that blog. ONE of six, so I refuse to take the full blame here.

MerciResolution has openly admitted to being the founder, and she recruited me and some others to modify as the confession load became too heavy for one person to handle alone.

The original blog on Tumblr worked as follows: People would anonymously send a confession to our askbox, we would add a picture (sometimes photoshopped) to the text and post it on the blog. Always tagged as NSFW and with proper trigger warnings if necessary! The blog itself was also marked as explicit, so it didn't appear in searches and such.

For us, this blog was nothing but a joke. We did it for shits and giggles. If anyone took it seriously and thought we got off to the stuff that was posted, we apologize for that, but to us it was just for laughs. And we DID laugh a lot, you guys should have seen the weird shit people sent us sometimes!

We had fun and we never thought anyone would take it seriously, so we never thought of writing "joke" in the description or anything. It never occurred to us that it could be anything but a joke.

We also made a Twitter account for it, also locked for minors. But it was quickly hacked, and someone changed the password so we could no longer access it. We made another account and forgot about the old one…

After a while, the original mods started losing interest and the blog (both on Tumblr and Twitter) became less active. That's when a person I had known for years, and wrongfully trusted, came forward and wanted to take over ownership. So, the ownership was handed over to Russalita/Charlie.

That turned out to be huge mistake!

Me and the other mods had more or less forgotten that the blogs existed, when suddenly someone started bashing me and getting up in my arms over it. I got seriously confused as I hadn't been active on it in almost a year. But as it turned out, Russalita had removed the mature filters and made the accounts open for all the see. Even minors.

And as people knew I was one of the mods, they fired their guns at me. I can see why though, so I'm not pointing any fingers here.

I tried contacting her by phone, asking her to lock the accounts again, but she gave me a less than polite response, hung up and then blocked my number…

So, I decided to try to shut the blogs down on my own, trying the old passwords. It worked on the Tumblr-account, and I managed to password protect it, for some reason it couldn't be fully deleted. But the Twitter account had gotten its password changed by Russalita. I was however able to get a new password by logging into the e-mail we had used to create it. I deleted the Twitter blog fully. It can't be re-activated even if we wanted to. It's gone.

But it turns out the old, hacked one is still up and now open for everyone. And this one poses a huge problem as we have no way of getting into it to delete it. Only thing we have been able to do so far is reporting it and hope it will be removed by Twitter. So I only have one thing to say about it: report it.

I am no longer running any NSFW TTTE blog anywhere, nor do I have interest in doing so. So, if you come across one, claiming to be me or any of the other mods, it is false.

 6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

People seem to believe I have drawn genitals on trains. I have never done such. Any art on the NSFW-blog with genitalia on the trains were sent in by confessors and was not drawn by me. Most of them seems to have been drawn by someone who goes by the name "The Lance".

I HAVE drawn things for the NSFW blog, but there were no genitalia in those drawings. I drew Frank of Arlesdale looking grossed out by (I don't know what the part is named in English, but it is connected to the brakes of the engine) that stick-like thing on his bufferbeam being wet from whatever the confessor did to him. I drew an over-exaggerated comical pic of a horrified Peter Sam getting his face licked by his driver, who had an enormous tongue. I also did a couple of manips. Mostly maniping engine faces on humans, like the one where Gordon's face is on a less than fit guy flailing his shirt around, and the Arlesdale smallies' faces on a movie poster from Magic Mike. One with Mr.Conductor in a giant bun while Pinchy is applying ketchup on him, for a confession about eating him, I think?  I've done some more, but I forgot what it was, I only know I loved making them comical rather than erotic, as I saw the blog as a joke overall.

I HAVE also drawn aheago faces on engines because it looks hilarious. Though I have only drawn them on my OCs and the NRS engines, not TTTE characters.

Point is I have never drawn genitalia on trains. Ever. And I likely never will. It's not THAT much fun drawing NSFW stuff.

I see from this screenshot that a certain MK-Instrumentalist claim that all my personal art is age-regression art and infantilism…

Whose art have you been looking at? Because it's definitely not mine. I have drawn a couple of baby/chibi diesels… But claiming that all of my 700 or so artworks are depicting infantilism and age-regression stuff? I suggest people go have a look for themselves. I haven't drawn that. That MK-guy has been desperately trying to cancel me for ages for reasons only himself know. I don't even know the guy, and he doesn't know me, yet he wants to see me beheaded. Go figure.

I was for a long time bothered by some age-regressor on Tumblr who just wouldn't leave me alone with their weird asks, who tried to force themselves on me and some other artists here. They claim age-regression isn't a fetish, but the shit they sent to my askbox certainly looked like a fetish to me.

I don't want anything to do with that stuff. It weirds me out.

And no. I have never drawn pedophilia or rape art either. This guy can't even make up his mind on which one to accuse me of.

 7 and 8. Faking suicide and having the audacity to survive and go on living.

As many know, after the intense shitstorm against me last summer, thanks to Darin, I attempted suicide. I didn't succeed as my husband came home early. I was gone for a few days but returned when a young boy reached out to me for help as he was being groomed and didn't know who else to turn to.

Recently I saw a screenshot where someone claimed me to have faked suicide, and that I just came back after a few days when everything had died down.

Wow.

I am truly sorry I survived.

I don't remember much from those days to be honest, but as the load became too heavy and the bullying too intense, piling up on 30 years of old trauma… I decided to end it. I must warn you guys who might get triggered now; there are detailed descriptions of a suicide attempt. Proceed with caution. People told me I was a bad mother among other things, having had those same thoughts myself (according to my husband, I am a good mom) and people just confirming them, I thought that my daughter would be better off growing up without me. I could have chosen a more effective suicide method, but I was afraid my daughter would be the first to find me, so I wanted it to be clean and look like I was just sleeping. That way it could be explained as natural causes.

So, I decided to overdose on pills. I downed all pills I could find in the house that had a warning triangle on it (strong pain meds etc.) and then went to my computer to delete my online existence, especially the personal data.

As a former paramedic, I should have known better. Because after half an hour, my body started reacting. But not the way I had hoped and wanted. I started retching and almost vomiting. That's when my husband came home from work and found me. He immediately saw the empty packages and knowing my past suicidal tendencies, he reacted instinctively. He put his fingers down my throat and had me puke everything up, then he called an ambulance and had me admitted to the hospital.

I don't remember anything from the days I spent there. But I have been told they emptied my stomach and gave me lots of fluids. I was then assigned a psychiatrist which I am still seeing today.

I was gone for those days because I was in hospital, not because I was pulling some kind of trick and pretending to have ended myself.

So… I am sorry I "faked" my suicide.

I'm sorry my husband saved me. I am sorry the medics and doctors succeeded in saving my life.

I am sorry I survived and proceeded to live on. If I ever make another attempt, I promise to do better.

Why are you guys so persistent in trying to push people to suicide anyway? Do you get a kick out of it? Why do people have to be pushed to that point before you care?

What did we tell our daughter? Simply that I got sick and had to go to the hospital. She took that well.

I've seen a lot of people wonder why I am still around. Why shouldn't I? Does my daughter deserve to lose her mother over some online crap she doesn't even know about? I owe her to live and watch her grow up, to help her with her homework and whatever else a parent needs to do. I also owe my husband to stay by his side, like I promised him the day we got married. Even if I do not wish to live.

I'm sorry I survived, guys. Really, I am.

 9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it. And 1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

 First… why would anyone make up trauma? It's not like it's a competition to have the worst life, is it?

Sadly, I don't have to make up anything. My life HAS been rocky up until the birth of my daughter. I have been through so much trauma I couldn't even fathom it myself before my therapist listed it all up to me. Until then, I had just been casually talking to her about it, like I would talk about the weather. I didn't cry or get in touch with my emotions even once while telling everything, because I was taught from an early age to never complain, to suck it up and go on. So, no matter what people did to me, I would just smile and go on, even if it killed me inside. I did not want to show any sign of weakness, because then they would attack me. A habit I developed through years of being bullied in school. Never show feelings, just pretend nothing could hurt you, then they would eventually grow tired of it and stop.

Except they never did. They kept going through all my years at school. To such an extent, my boyfriend didn't dare to show himself hanging out with me out of fear of being bullied himself… And as we grew older, he would start cheating on me too. And I kept smiling…

My next boyfriend was a bit older than me, and while that didn't bother me, as we were both well over legal age, it bothered him. We only lasted one year before he bailed out and ditched me out of the blue via an sms.

The next guy… was the one who scarred me for life. Both physically and mentally. A charmer at first of course, until I was trapped. He was unemployed, so he moved in with me, and I paid for everything from food to phone bills. All while he was dating several women behind my back, calling various pay-phone services and in general acted like a manwhore. As I worked as an electrician (also being subject to massive bullying and sexual harassment at work), he would be jealous of all my co-workers and if I ever came home late or worked overtime, he accused me of cheating and was extremely violent about it. He would also isolate me from my friends and family, making me think I couldn't get any other than him. If any of my male friends (almost all my friends are male…) came over, he would give me such hell afterwards, it was easier just to tell them it was a bad time to visit. And after a while, they stopped asking. This guy also demanded sex. Every single day. If I refused, he would punish me, mostly by flogging me with lampcords, belts or whatever else he had at hand. My back is a criss cross map of old, faded scars even now nearly 20 years later. I would have shown you a photo, but I am so self-concious about my body after all the bullying, I hardly even show my face in photos. Maybe one day… but I certainly need more therapy before being able to show naked skin to strangers, even if it's just my back. So I had non-consensual sex with him more often than consensual. It has taken me hours in therapy to even take the word in my mouth and call it by its proper name: rape. I was raped, almost every single day for little over a year, before I found the strength to break out of the relationship and finally throw him out of my house. It all ended when I found some revealing texts on his cellphone, which he was extremely protective of… Texts that revealed that he had engaged in a relationship with a 12 year old girl, and it had been going on for a while. Not only was he cheating on me, but he was a pedophile too. Needless to say, I didn't even let him pack his stuff before I fetched my shotgun and chased him out of the house. I don't know where I got the courage and strength from… but I was furious.

I thought I had gotten rid of him, but no. He started stalking me in public. Hiding behind shelves when I was shopping, his car following mine everywhere I went. I received weird letters in the mail with cut-out letters from newspapers, glued together. On top of all, his creepy, old uncle called me with some rather disgusting suggestions and tried to come on to me really hard. I had to change my phone number, and after coming home to my house and finding out someone had entered my home using a key, only to empty the drawer of my night table, I also had to change the locks of my doors as he had clearly copied the key.

He didn't stop until I got the police involved.

So, when I finally met the guy who would become my husband (or rather, we found out we were made for each other, we had known each other since we were 11 years old), I had major trust issues towards men especially and it took him endless patience and love to break me out of that shell.

But the trauma doesn't stop… or start there.

In the year 2000, on January 4th, I would experience something that made me unable to even look at a train for over 10 years. The Åsta accident (google it). I was a volunteer in the Norwegian Red Cross then, and a paramedic in training. Back then, you were allowed to start training the year you would turn 16. So, I was still 15 when I witnessed the most traumatic event of my life. The day started out calm, we were stocking up the ambulance after delivering a patient to the hospital when we got a call with the code "500", which means "catastrophe". Normally when we get that code it is a rehearsal… so we drove towards the coordinates with the thoughts that this was just an exercise, nothing real… we didn't prepare ourselves mentally… And we ended up in the closest thing to hell I have ever been… The sight of the burning trains, the smells, the sounds, the screaming… I still wake up by nightmares to this day. Though the moment that haunts me the most is when the screaming stopped… because we all knew why… I don't want to go into details, but 19 people died that day. But we also saved 67 people. I try to hold on to that thought. The age limit for starting paramedic training was raised after this, as I wasn't the only one who was too young for an accident of that scale. Today it is 18. A memorial stone has been placed on the site, but I still haven't been able to bring myself to visit it, even if we drive past the site every year on our way to visit family further north in the country. I needed hours of therapy to even be able to ride a train after this. To have gotten to the point where I now volunteer at a heritage railway and is in training to become a driver, is a HUGE step for me. My next goal is to visit the site of the accident.

On to next trauma… A previous employer, a rather large electric company in Norway, whom I worked for 8 years. The first five years were great, we were a close-knit bunch of electricians, and we had a great relationship with the bosses and higher-ups. Our labor union was strong.

It all started changing in 2009 when we got new leaders… and those decided to get rid of everyone who were a member of the union. One by one, they started harassing workers in various ways, trying to get them to quit. In Norway, they need a legal reason to fire you, it's not enough to not like someone. There has to be a good reason to fire someone e.g. theft, neglecting work… Since they didn't have any reasons to fire us, they started making our work lives gradually harder and harder until we would break and find another job. Sadly, one of my co-workers couldn't stand the pressure… He bid us all farewell as normal one Friday and hung himself the following day.. But as I was a girl in a male-dominated profession, I had been taught at an early stage to ignore anything that would hurt me emotionally, just arch my neck and plow through. I kept doing that, despite starting to feel more and more mental and physical pains… even my co-workers pointed out how I was being mistreated before I acknowledged it myself. I tried to tell my boss, but he reacted by treating me worse. So, I went to his boss… and that's when things went to hell. Instead of doing his job and listen, he started harassing me too. He deemed my over-weight a problem, and he started demanding I gave him detailed lists of what I ate and how much I worked out… Completely illegal of course, but by this point I was broken down to the point I thought I was useless and couldn't get another job… so I accepted. He started accusing me of lying about my exercise, so I started training at the gym in the basement at work instead. One day, while I was there, he locked the doors and turned the lights off. There were no windows, no cellphone reception and hardly anyone walking by in that part of the building… I sat there in the pitch dark for 3 hours before I was let back out. I still get badly triggered by narrow, dark rooms and rooms with no windows. To such an extent, I jumped out of a small window on the second floor of a gym when I was in boot camp. I was allowed to train downstairs in the bigger gym with windows on all walls after that incident…

The harassment at work went on for years until I finally snapped, ended up at the hospital and got into therapy for the first time. I don't want to go into depth about what more happened, I just can't… I can't bring myself to write it all. Luckily, I had gotten more education while working, so when I graduated, another company called and gave me an offer I just couldn't refuse. So, I quit my job and never looked back, even if the traumas I suffered there still haunts me to this day.

Sadly, even after switching jobs, now getting a safe job with sane leaders… I started to relax, and that's when all my past trauma came washing over me. And one day, on while driving to work, I had my first serious panic attack. It started as this feeling I used to have at the old company; getting sick to my stomach and having the sense of someone being out to get me… then it developed to breathing problems… and I had to pull the car over. I broke into tears, struggling to breathe, stumbling out of the car to read the logo on its side just to reassure my body and brain that I worked for a different company now and there was no reason for panic. I called my boss and let him know, because he also was a "refugee" from that other company, so he knew what me and several others had gone through. He managed to talk me down enough for me to come to the office to talk to him. That helped.

I got back into therapy. A better therapist this time. But sadly, it got apparent that I could no longer work as an electrician as there was too many triggers. I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression, and social anxiety. I'm still working on these and get better slowly.

I have been in therapy for a long time now, and it was my therapist that suggested I wrote fics to cope and "write it out". I tried to make up my own characters for this, but never felt any connection. I was by this time in the TTTE fandom and had met people with similar trauma and pasts like myself, and I started roleplaying with some of them. Me and a girl from UK then agreed to try to rp/co-write a fic to cope with our trauma. We both found it easier to write about pre-established characters we had a connection to, even if it was an au that made it barely recognizable from the original source material. Only the names and some minor things were similar.

That fic was Stepney's Virginity Gets Lost.

Do we regret writing it? No. It helped us write out our traumas and helped us overcome some mental obstacles in out therapy process. Our therapists cheering us on, because we finally managed to break through the hard shell surrounding us. We both cried for the first time in years while writing it, some of it through roleplay, because some parts were extremely graphic and brutal and very mentally exhausting. We had to take long breaks between each writing session, so the fic wasn't written in just a weekend. But we got a lot of darkness out of our minds by writing all this. And we were definitely NOT aroused by it, like this pervert here claims.

It's when you dare to touch and feel the difficult and dark emotions, you can finally move along in the grieving process.

Should it have been posted online?

In retrospect, no. But at the time, we thought it might help other trauma victims, as we also found reading about other people's experiences and fictions touching painful subjects helpful to ourselves. So, we posted it, never expecting it to cause such a controversy 3 years later. In fact, we had more or less forgotten about it until it came back to bit us in the ass. Or rather, bite ME in the ass, as I am getting the full blame alone.

Also, despite what people claim, it was not posted openly for children to read. It was tagged properly and hidden behind mature content walls. If a minor chooses to break that wall, that's not the author's fault. It's the same as watching a movie with an age restriction way above your age, not the filmmaker's fault.

I think MerciResolution puts it nicely here:

"If your problem lies with you KNOWINGLY entering adult spaces when you’re a minor, ignoring all mature warnings that are literally SCREAMING at you “hey, this is what you’re getting into. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

That’s ENTIRELY on you. YOU are the fucking problem.

We’re marking mature things as best as we properly can. If you decide to ignore them, that’s your own damn fault. We’re not your fucking babysitters."

Also, I never posted the story on Wattpad, so if anyone has done that, it's not me. I posted the story on Fanfiction.net, DeviantArt and AO3, that's all. If it's posted anywhere else, it's not done by me.

I had honestly moved on from it when people pulled me back into it.

Other people who have done questionable shit in that fandom are easily forgiven because "they have moved on" or "changed". Yet, nobody believes I can move on or change…?

I had moved on; my interests had changed. But people won't let me, so here I am… Having to defend some crap I did years ago. A fic I no longer have any interest in.

I'm not even interested in TTTE anymore. I have moved on with my own book project now and I would like to focus on that.

So, deleting my TTTE content, whether it was the SFW or NSFW stuff, didn't cost me a penny. It actually felt like a relief. The only downside with it is that people now can't read it and make up their own opinion about it, but will solely believe in what others say, and those things are often seriously bent out of shape and blown out of proportions to such an extent it's barely recognizable.

If people claim that Arry and Bert rape Stepney in the fic, they have never seen it or read it. That's not what happens. That's just an assumption made by looking at the title and knowing there is a rape/torture scene in it. But I'm not gonna tell who the victim is or who performed it, because this is the only way I am able to tell who has actually read the fic or not, who is just trying to spread bullshit and who is actually telling the truth. The person in that screenshot, has no idea what he's talking about.

Does SVGL romanticize rape and abuse?

No, not in the least. It's described as the horrible, heinous acts it is and is in no way meant to be cute or romantic and definitely NOT something anyone should get off to. If anyone finds it sexy, that's their problem, not the authors'. If anything, SVGL might romanticize suicide, because one of the characters isn't able to cope with his trauma and chooses to end their life. Which is something I considered doing myself when I was in the darkest pit of depression. So, I apologize for maybe romanticizing suicide. The following chapters describe how friends and family handle the loss and grief.

It also describes a toxic relationship, where one of the parts struggles to get out of it. They eventually manage to break free, but it is not easy. This can easily be translated to my previously mentioned relationship, as it was my way of writing out my experience about how hard it is to break out of a relation when your partner has broken you down to the point where you no longer believe in yourself and your self-worth.

The last chapters start to gradually become brighter, as both our lives started getting better too. But we never really wrote the end because we both lost interest in writing TTTE content by that time and just left it hanging.

I'm not the only one who has written NSFW TTTE fanfics out there. But it seems like violence and murder is more acceptable than sexual things? I do wonder how brutally mutilating children's show characters are more tolerable than sexually abusing them. Neither should be okay.

Some content creators hide behind "it was a joke". I have been told that such topics that SVGL touches upon shouldn't be joked about… so I didn't do that, and yet it was wrong? So how should such topics be treated? Be hidden like it's a shame, like in the old days when rape victims were told to suck things up and keep it to themselves? When those subject to abuse didn't dare to speak up because people would judge them?

I think it is important to talk about these subjects and why they are so problematic. Victims shouldn't have to hide their trauma; they should be allowed to talk openly about it without fearing judgement.

Some of you claim that writing isn't a good way to cope… You're trying to dictate how trauma victims deal with their trauma, and that's a dangerous path to walk down. Nobody handles trauma the same way. You might have your thoughts on how you would react, but you'll never know until trauma hits you… and you might not react the way you had expected or planned. Trauma messes with your head and you won't be able to think clearly. It makes you do thinks you normally wouldn't have done and can make you act out of character. So, do not judge people without having been in the same situation yourself. Ever.

Someone wrote that I have "more problems that just a rape".

Read that again.

Just a rape.

This person does not know how damaging a rape can be. And if you made it this far in this post, you know I didn't only go through one, but several. Not just by my ex, but also being ambushed while I was walking home from a party, and later; a co-worker forcing himself onto me at a building site. I can't go into depth about them all, I just can't.

Just a rape…

"Just" the feeling of not being in control of your own body and your own decisions. "Just" being robbed off your dignity and self-worth. "Just" having someone intrude into your private zone, tear your clothes off and claim your body against your will. "Just" feeling how your life force leave you as you realize that fighting against it won't help you, and you silently give up and just lay down waiting for it all to be over. "Just" spending hours in the shower, scrubbing your skin until you bleed because you can't wash the filth away and you keep feeling dirty no matter how much you clean yourself. "Just" waking up at night, after having relived the scene again in a nightmare. "Just" looking over your shoulder wherever you walk because you heard something or thought you saw something or simply because someone is walking behind you. "Just" the fact that you'll never feel comfortable walking alone at night again or have someone walk behind you. "Just" never being able to relax because your body constantly think you're in grave danger. "Just" a rape…

That's such a neck-beard thing to say. Someone who clearly think of other people's bodies as property or things. Not taking into consideration that we are living, breathing individuals with feelings. And that having another person violate us isn't something we like or that we'll easily get over. We want to choose who we give ourselves to, nobody should be forced. We didn't ask to be raped. We didn't want it. We didn't like it.

Rape is trauma.

Yes, we should have chosen other characters for the story, but we did what we did, and it cannot be undone now. So, if the only thing I will be remembered for in the fandom is that ONE fic, instead of all my other content, that's what it will be. That's what people chose to. I'm moving on.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

*sigh*

This is something that could only happen in America, isn't it?

Some people don't bother educating themselves. The "nazi-letters" you guys are talking about is actually part of the Norwegian alphabet and has nothing to do with Nazism or white-supremacy to do at all. The Norwegian alphabet has 29 letters, the three extra is æ,ø,å or in capital letters: Æ,Ø,Å.

We can't help it if some morons over in the US abuse these letters as symbol of their twisted mindset.

Yes, my name contains one of those letters. It is my name… and I didn't choose it. It is a common Norwegian name.

As for me being a Nazi?

Those who knows me knows that I am as far from a Nazi as one can get. I despise Nazism with all my heart.

But the reason some people choose to believe so… was that some guy who has no hobbies or life went through every single fave I've made on DeviantArt since I joined the site in 2006, which is well over 20000 faves. And he found a few Nazi-characters from a web series I was following about ten years ago. I am very interested in history and especially WW2-history, so I found that particular web-series interesting and faved some artwork related to it. What this guy failed to notice is that I also faved the Allied characters… That's ALL there is to that story.

I has also faved a pic someone made of Joseph Goebbels (I think it was?) as a Pixar Car. That's not because I have any nazi-sympathies, but I simply found the concept of turning historical persons, both good and bad, into Cars as an interesting project. I would have faved any other historical Carsified person as well.

As for me being a Norwegian and have a natural pale complexion, that's not something I can help. That's nothing I choose. And it doesn't make me racist or Nazi. Period.

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

Again. Get educated.

This flag… is the actual flag of my country. The Kingdom of Norway.

There is nothing Nazi about it. It is not a symbol of white-supremacy. IT IS THE FLAG OF NORWAY.

During WW2 it was even illegal, so people would paint it everywhere in a protest against the Nazi-occpation and the SS. We even decorated our Christmas trees with it, and that is a tradition that has followed us into the modern day.

Again, if some idiots in the US choose to use it as a symbol for their disgusting logic, it is not Norway or the Norwegians' fault.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

I need people to elaborate here.

What exactly do you think I do to my daughter? What is the cause of your concern here?

The fact that I have made NSFW content? How is that harmful to her as long as I keep it away from her? You DO realize that even authors, pornstars and moviemakers have children and that they can be good parents, right?

Do you think I read pornographic content for her as bedtime stories? Or show her porn instead of kids TV? How sick are you guys, really…?

Some people even wanted CPS to take my child away from me… Have a look at these screenshots…

You want a happy, healthy, innocent child to be taken away from a stable, safe home with loving parents just because you don't like the content the mother made? You want her to be placed in foster care, where there is no guarantee that she will have a happy upbringing rather than have her stay with her parents who love her and care for her, for reasons she'll never understand and wasn't even aware of?

"Think of the children!" a lot of you say when it comes to my content. May I ask why this doesn't apply to my daughter?

Why do some of you go as far as to wishing her dead or wanting her to be removed from the home she feels safe and loved in? How is that thinking of the children?

As for the douchebag in that screenshot. You claim that if your mother did something like that you would want nothing to do with her… I have a question: Do you know EVERYTHING your mother do? Does she include you in each aspect of her life? Even her sexual life? No?

How do you know she doesn't do thing you don't approve of when you're not around? She could be a rabid pornmag reader for all you know. But stuff like that is something adults hide from their kids. So, you wouldn't know, unless you go snooping around in her business.

Everyone is entitled to privacy. What I and my husband do when our kid is not around is our business, not hers, and certainly not yours.

Porn and parenting are to be kept separate from each other. Period.

And we do.

There is absolutely no reason to be worried about my daughter. She is a happy, healthy child in a safe, stable home with family that loves her and cares for her. Not just me and my husband, but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

If you want to remove her from that over a stupid fanfic behind a mature content wall, you're the deranged person, not me.

 This is all I have to say about all this and my time in the TTTE fandom. I have left by my own, free will. Yes, I am aware that many people don't want me there. That's fine. I don't want to be there.

I am a bit disappointed in those people who just blindly unfollowed me and unfriended me without any questions asked, just followed the leader. Big users tend to dictate who and what is worth following in that fandom. They will even protect real predators, but I'm not going to open that can of worms now. I'm done with the fandom.

Some of those people, I have been talking to regularly, even supported when they faced hardships in the fandom themselves. But when I got in trouble, they ditched me without a word…

If anything, this whole ordeal showed me who to trust and not, and who were true to their word when it came to how deep our friendship was. True friends at least give you the chance to explain before they drop you. I hold no ill feelings to those who did, at least they asked me before judging.

And those who still stayed with me, are the ones who truly know me and who I really am.

Some of the worst libels posted about me might be reported to the police, but I haven't made up my mind yet. I am not mentally strong at the moment, so I don't know if I have the strength to legally follow it all up. I will ask the cops at work for advice on the matter.

All I ask for now is some peace.

You don't have to like me. You don't have to follow me. You don't have to like my content. Feel free to invalidate me, I know a lot of you will.

But please, stop bullying me and my family.

Please stop sending me horrid messages and death threats.

Please stop doxxing me and calling me.

Please leave my family alone. If you don't care about me, at least care about them.

Please just ignore me. I have already left the fandom, there is no reason to keep hunting me.

I just want to move on and go on with my life and the content I am currently working on. After years in therapy, my life has gotten better, and I want to move on.

Please let me.

[suckmyballshoney]

headcanons for drivers playing truth or dare/never have i ever? 👀👀

Oh you mean the most chaotic evenings ever ? Eheh

Ok let’s say they play never have I ever bc i have no imagination for cool truth or dares and I am the absolute worse at that game

- Dan is holding the party, told the young drivers about the game but tricked the others like seb or Lewis for them to still come

- He locked the door and hid the key so now they helplessly watch the mess, sometimes joined by Lando who doesn’t drink and gets tired by so many people (introvert life ya know)

- OKAY SO

- (Imagining the whole party would be very long so let’s do it one driver by one driver and see where we go)

- Dan has done everything, EVERYTHING, he can’t lose/win/however you see the game, and he’s soooo proud of himself when it starts to get to the embarrassing things because he did them too (it becomes ridiculous because of course he gets extra drunk with that)

- Max and Kevin find that hilarious, but when it’s their turn they’re like ‘nooooo I have never done anything wrong in my life’ and still drink anyway on most thing. When asked to explain, Max always answers that he was dan’s teammate for three years

- Esteban used that as an excuse to justify the ONE time he forgot his team shirt in his motorhome. Also at one point he gets bored and starts drinking anyway

- After a few drinks Lewis gets more comfortable and starts laughing with Dan and Val

- Val and Kimi put the beers aside to drink vodka from the bottle directly bc why wait really ?

- Also Kimi follows on most things and Charles is like ‘you wild grandpa’ earning a slap on the head by Seb

- Seb who is quite shocked by all of this and looks horrified when Charles drinks sometimes on some pretty nasty fun stuff

- They both stop bickering when Dan says something VERY sexual and Pierre drinks and they’re like ‘wtf you’re supposed to be a baby’ and Pierre the lil french shit *winks* at them

- Antonio stays with them and enjoys his soda like the responsible designated driver he is and keeps openly mocking Charles and Pierre with Kimi

- Alex is between them and the rest of the f2 boy band and alternates between joining Antonio to shit on Charles (never badly of course, Charles throws it to them too and they keep laughing), and keeping George from getting wasted

- Yeah because George the nasty fucker keeps drinking and at some point they started to think it was not always because he did the thing

- Lando has emptied two bottles of milk already and Alex has to control him too now, until it’s lando’s turn to speak and after a good minute of thinking, he lets out the most specific nasty proposition ever and people are like wtf Lando

- until slowly you can see Carlos that barely drank until now lift his drink to take a sip as he sends a death glare to Lando who doesn’t even look at him, too busy retrieving his milk bottle from Alex’s hands

- Romain is sharing good with George while desperately avoiding attention bc it’s not his kind of games but he enjoys spending time with everyone

- Daniil and Carlos are not really playing, they’re just talking on their own, sometimes joined by either Nicky or Max or Pierre, they just take a sip once in a while unless it’s one of Lando’s very specific propositions and they pray it doesn’t fall on them

- Nicky is having the time of his life, feeling like the new kid in town, and he keeps changing place to talk to everybody and Dan is trying to guess what stupid things he has done before

- Lance is not very comfortable bc he’s not used to talk to everybody like that but Checo doesn’t leave him alone and makes him feel more integrated, until he moves to sit with Esteban

- In the end George and Dan are dead and seb has to stop Max and Lando from drawing on their faces

[moonguilt]

Voltron MMORPG AU: Chapter 3

HERE it is, the final chapter.  It’s pretty much all klance.  Enjoy!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

eventually it comes to a head when lance loses a bet with pidge, who demands that he make his character perform a VERY public, VERY elaborate marriage proposal to keith's character as soon as he logs on

nervous but determined lance, dragging his and keith’s characters out into the middle of a popular in-game city. he is a man of his word after all

“((keith ok dont freak out))”

“((?))”

“((i need u to make ur character say 'no' in a sec ok? dont worry just say no))”

“((....ok?))”

“Keith, light of my life, truest and brightest soul to ever walk these good lands, I cannot wait but a moment longer to reveal the longings of my heart, buried so long out of fear for your reaction.  Many moons have I traveled this world's paths, weathered and uncharted alike, with you at my side, my dearest companion.

“Yet I profess that friendship is only a whisper of the bond I wish to share with you.  It feels as though for an age and more, your love has eluded me, just beyond my grasp.  I have looked upon your divine complexion each morn and thought, 'Curse the light of dawn, for the touch that it lay so brazenly upon those delicate lips!  Oh, would that those ivory cheeks were mine to caress with such tenderness!'  I have drowned within your gaze each evening and thought, 'Curse the night sky above, for the celestial gleam it ignites in your eyes!  My only desire is to be but a single star, to bring so much as a fraction of that sparkle to those orbs of boundless beauty!

“I stand before you now, Keith Kogane—nay, kneel before you now—and open to you the deepest veins of my very being, whose blood knows naught but the fire of my passion for you. With your blessing, I would share with you the warmth of these flames.  With your blessing, I would name you Keeper of my heart, and hope beyond hope that you might name me Keeper of yours.

“Keith Kogane, will you invoke the ancient rite of Heartkeeping with me?”

keith: what.jpg

a crowd has developed around them. many many roleplayers including their friends are now watching

“((its ok bro just say no))”

keith is both very gay and also a little shit who loves to antagonize lance. these two things are a dangerous mix. his character bends down, clasping lance's character's hands in his, and declares:

“Oh, my sweet songbird, how I yearned to hear this tune from your slender throat, which I have overlong ached to taste for but an instant.  Just once, and that would have been enough.  And yet here you present yourself, offering me not a taste, but a lifetime of eternal sustenance in our joined love.  I accept your offer, full knowing that I shall never want for anything else so long as I live.”

“((wtf dude))”

“((oh oops. damn autocorrect))”

“((KEITH))”

the crowd is going WILD. i mean absolutely bonkers

cue lance realizing that it is now EXTREMELY public knowledge that his and keith's characters are engaged. half the damn city knows now and is rushing to congratulate them. people are gossiping about it in the city-wide game chat. he's starting to process keith's response. it's a Lot and he's probably definitely going to kill keith

keith continues being a smug gay baby bastard. his character reaches an arm around the waist of lance's character, pulling him in close as the wellwishers crowd around

lance finally manages to extract them both with loud proclamations of his “pressing urge to ravish this handsome young man in the nearest inn”

as soon as they are out of sight, lance logs off without so much as a goodbye

keith: uhoh.png

starting to think maybe he screwed this up

Gay Panic Time

immediately logging out and calling shiro

“well hello romeo, congratulations on the--”

“SHIROIFUCKEDUPPLEASEHELPOHGOD”

not even 3 minutes later, knock on the door

keith goes dead silent. pretends to not be home

“keith? i know you're in there”

“fuck i gotta go shiro he's here to kill me please tell adam i love him even though i never said it out loud goodbye”

disastrous fumbling with the lock on the door

finally opens. there is lance, looking like a deer in headlights

awkward staring for several seconds

super duper awkward. they are both in their PJs. keith has a toothpaste stain on his shirt. lance is making a weird gurgling noise in the back of his throat

gurgling noise becomes more of a whining noise

whining noise becomes high-pitched frustrated groan

cue lance basically shouting out “PLEASE PLEASE STOP ME IF I'M WRONG” and then—reaching up—clutching keith's collar—leaning up because he stupidly forgot to take the last step up to put himself on equal footing and now it's too late—too fucking late, lance, you made your bed now lie in it—and pressing his lips to keith's for what feels like a year but is barely a second and a half before he pulls away

or, well, he would have, if keith's hands hadn't already been on him, reeling him back in like a riptide before any doubt or regret could the chance to do more than flicker across lance's electrified brain

they want to make out. they Really do. but this is decidedly not a comfortable place for a makeout sesh so they just... stumble in through keith's doorway and kind of fall onto his couch. and just lie there for a while. turns out their brains are both pretty fried after all of this

“so... when do you wanna have the ceremony”

“mm.”

“... keith?”

“mmm.”

“that's not an answer dude”

“MMM.” [with feeling]

“you do wanna have the ceremony still, right? im not misreading things”

“mmmohmygod lance yes, but we can figure it out later. im busy holding my boyfriend right now”

“boyfriend huh?”

“yep.”

“... okay”

the RP does, admittedly, get a lot more fun after that.

for keith and lance, anyway.

maybe not as much for anyone within a five hundred foot radius of their disgustingly in love characters.

THE END.

[angelgrotesque]

Songs for Soulmates *Plance* Nine (Pidge)

Oh my god keep this up and ‘Ill be doing daily updates wtf oh lemme know if you want these under a cut from now on so the posts aren’t so long <3 also, a heads up, once I finish with this one (So like in a while) I might make a separate blog for fanfics so keep an eye out ;)

The day was upon them. Pidge took a breath and then slowly let it out. It was only three hours before her first ever concert, and she was shaking in her boots. Literally. Part of the costume required her to wear green ankle boots, along with glow-in-the-dark green anklets, bracelets, and a necklace, since the whole aesthetic for Voltron concerts was creepy and beautiful at the same time. Her clothes themselves were all black: a long - sleeved dress shirt, tights, and a skirt. Pidge had practiced all weekend for her part, which had been last - minute composed for her keyboard by Shiro, who also wrote most of Voltron’s music. At the moment, Pidge sat on the edge of the stage, which had finally been set up, thanks to Matt, watching the sky become painted in orange, pink, and yellow.

Footsteps echoed behind her, and Pidge turned her head to see Lance, making his way towards her slightly awkwardly. Once he reached the edge of the stage, he sat down next to Pidge and scooted closer.

“Hey, soulmate.” Pidge smiled. She still couldn’t get over the what had happened in the last week.

“So, I know we haven’t really talked about this whole soulmate thing, and you joining the band thing, and the future thing, and...” Lance let out a breath. “... and, anything, I guess, since we haven’t really gotten a chance to talk what with the tour and setting up and stuff. So, um... do you, uh, want to stay with me - with us - once we finish the tour? Or go... go your separate way?”

Pidge laughed. Lance was being extremely awkward, so she tried to calm him down and put her head on his shoulder. Lance stiffened for a moment before relaxing and leaning against her too.

“I want to stay with you. And the band, of course.” Pidge answered. 

“Oh, thank god. I, uh, see, I’ve always sort of been nervous that when I actually met my soulmate they would hate me and disown me and leave me and then I would wander the earth with no purpose other than to exist and-”

“I won’t leave you.” Pidge cut Lance off. “And how could anyone possibly hate you?

“Well, see, I talk too much. And I haven’t ever liked someone before this, either, so I have no experience.”

“Yeah well neither do I. And you don’t talk too much.”

“I don’t?”

“You’re a lead singer. It comes with the territory.”

“... Oh. I mean, I guess that does make sense.”

“Lance.” Pidge deadpanned, “I always make sense. Now shut up and believe you’re a great person, because you are. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I said shut up.”

“You tricked me!” Lance pouted. Pidge laughed, and Lance soon joined her. When Hunk came to get Lance for mic checks, the two of them were lying down on their backs, watching the sunset.

“Hey, Lance, we need to check your mic.” Hunk reminded. “Oh, hey, Pidge.”

“Can it wait?” Lance asked, “We’re having a moment.”

“Lance, we need to make sure that everything’s in check, otherwise-”

“Okay, okay. I’m coming. I’ll see you just before the concert, okay, Pidge?”

“Sure.”

“And don’t worry, you’ll do great.” Lance winked and Pidge smiled back.

It was finally time. Pidge, Lance, Hunk, Keith, Shiro, Allura, and Romelle stepped up onto the stage in the middle of the stadium, and the gathered crowd cheered loudly.

“What’s up everyone?!” Shiro greeted. More cheering. “I know I usually introduce the concerts but we’re gonna have Lance do it today because he has a very important announcement to make!” Lance stepped forward, microphone in hand, and began speaking.

“Thank you all for coming out here tonight! Today, you might notice, we have a new member of the band. Her name’s Pidge, she plays the keyboard, and... she’s also my soulmate!” The crowd roared proudly, yells and screams echoing around the stadium. “Without further ado, our first song!” Lance took back his position in the front and Hunk beat his drumsticks together.

“One, two, three and four!”

The concert began.

[thedarkrose17]

Sleep/waking up headcanons

Noct:

- He tends to stay awake for hours on his mobile sometimes with Prom and other times alone. Sometimes it's just the intrusive thoughts that keep him up and others it's just a fucked up sleeping schedule

- When he finally sleeps he's out cold for the night. Nothing will wake him. Literally anyone of them could do anything and he wouldn't wake

- Sometimes in the morning he's found cuddling up to a Carbuncle plush. No one knows where it came from but they assume he keeps it in the armiger

- He sleeps a lot cause the depression is draining and exhausting. The bonus is he can truly sleep anywhere and normally not move

- On the rare occasion he wakes up in the night cause of a nightmare or something, he'll usually move closer to the person he's closest to. Sometimes wrap his arms around them if it was bad enough

- Once had a conversation with Iggy while not completely awake. He insists to this day it never happened because he has no memory of it

- He's talked in his sleep sometimes. Sometimes it's cute and others it's terrifying

- Sat up once, complained of a stomach ache and just flopped back down to sleep. No one is sure if he was actually awake or not

- Wakes up with a bad bedhead, shrugs and styles around it. Just uses gel on it problem solved

- He sleeps in a pj shirt with a cute fish wearing a crown on with pj shorts underneath. He doesn't like sleeping without the shirt but he'll loose the shorts for just boxers

Prompto:

- He's second to last to fall asleep. He sleeps earlier if he's had a bad anxiety day cause it's draining

- He moves around a lot in his sleep and tends to cuddle whoever he's rolled over next to

- In the end they buy him a Chocobo plush to cuddle but it just ends up mushed against someone's back or side

- If he has nightmares he jolts up and tries grounding himself before tightly cuddling someone or the plushie

- Unlike Noct he can't sleep through anything unless he's exhausted. Iggy getting up woke him once and Iggy looked so guilty cause apparently Prom looked so sleepy and sad

- He's cried in his sleep before and woke up to a blanket tucked around him and his plush. He feels like maybe Iggy did this since he's basically mum friend

- One day he woke up later then Noct and he wasn't fully with it so instead of morning he said "Kweh?" to Noct which made the prince laugh

- He always talks or mutters in his sleep but it's mostly gibberish or little noises

- He kisses the plush in his sleep sometimes

- Wakes up with the worst bedhead ever, sometimes combs his hair down for breakfast before eventually styling it into "Bird ass hair" as some of the others call it. But if he's really tired he'll leave it a mess until he's more alert to fix it

- Sleeps in a pj oversized shirt wirh Chocobo puns on it with his boxers on. He likes the oversized shirt it feels snug but the others say he looks really small in it

Ignis:

- He fixes up the camp first before heading to bed or if they're in a hotel he tidies some mess before heading to bed

- in Prom's words Iggy doesn't snore but breathes and it's a blessing until it's right in your face then it's a little scary. All his words

- Rare occasion they see him with his hair down. He looks his age and it's alarming

- Does he dream? No one knows? If he does he doesn't have a reaction or barely moves

- Except one time where he almost summoned a lance and threw it across the room. Prom legit screamed and woke everyone up during that

- He's the one most likely to stir when someone is having a nightmare and comfort them just hug, rub their back and maybe for the younger ones tuck them in

- He'll wake the earliest with coffee withdrawl and it's unpleasant but he can have some while making breakfast

- He's never there when the others wake up but he's dressed and ready for the day. Prom and Noct have no idea how he did it that fast until Gladio reminds them Iggy's been up since dawn.

- Does he have a bedhead? No one knows

- Sleeps in full fancy pjs. Are they silk or satin? No one knows but they feel nice. When it's hot he ditches the shirt

Gladio:

- First one to sleep like he's stripping and he's sleeping. Always in just boxers it's who he is

- He's nice enough to sleep in boxers don't worry still he'll never forget Prom just glancing down, turning red and pouting one night before bed

- Also a cuddler. Except his bear hugs are tight unlike Prom's gentle sleep hugs

- He snores loudly which often wakes Prom. Prom either whines or throws a pillow or something cause it's 3am man wtf

- His bedhead is bad honestly it's out at every angle and truly a nightmare yet also somehow suits him

- He has a plushie that sits on his pillow. No one knows what animal it is but Iris made it him when he was younger and he can't bare to not be with it. It's cute to him

- He's a heavy sleeper like if you want something from him nudge him several times and he might wake

- Does he have nightmares? Prom isnt sure but he feels like if Gladio does he's kicking major ass in them

- Always every morning after waking up is doing exercise and Prom's like how????

Bonus Iris:

- Unfortunately can't afford a spare room for her but she doesn't mind. She's lived with boys

- She sleeps all curled up cuddling a Moogle plushie. Sometimes she ends up asleep on a couch

- Gladio always will if she's on a couch, gently ruffle her hair, put a blanket around her and kiss her head

- If she has nightmares, Gladio if he's awake is there so fast. If not it's Ignis who's soothing

- She's so quiet when she sleeps. Prom legit worried if she was alive once cause she's so quiet

- Like Prom she moves in her sleep. So much so Moogle plush is on the floor by morning

- Her bedhead is strangely adorable and not as bad as Gladio's. Prom's slightly jealous cause his is normally a birds nest

- She hums or sings to herself in the morning it's nice waking up to that. She does it too when she's helping Iggy with breakfast

- How is she so perky? Noct's half asleep still and Prom's fighting the astrals to stay awake some days. It's a mystery to both boys. Noct half asleep legit asked her if she was human cause it baffled him how someone can be alert in mornings. He's asked Gladio and Iggy the same too

[subtlehysteria]

back at it again with the lame-ass AU’s

I recently watched Ocean’s 8 and you already know where I’m going with this soooooo

VOLTRON’S 8 AU

(no major spoilers, promise)

Lance is a criminal mastermind in a family of criminal masterminds

He’s the youngest, so he’s learnt from his siblings’ mistakes

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t trip up sometimes as well

After seeing through his prison sentence of 5 years (thanks to his ex-girlfriend Nyma selling him out) Lance is ready to pull off the biggest heist in history

Stealing a 150 million dollar diamond necklace that hasn’t seen the light of day in over 50 years

But he’s gonna need a team of people that no one would suspect, all highly skilled in their professions and in need of this kind of money

So obvs he’s gonna go to Keith first because these two have been working together since forever

They were once a thing, but then Lance cheated on Keith with Nyma

They broke up, Keith told Lance Nyma was no good and whoops, wouldn’t ya know it. Keith was right

Anyway

Keith owns Club Marmora where he makes a decent living but it's not where his passion lies

He’s mainly doing it to save up enough money to get his mom out of jail

For once it’s a crime she didn’t commit

And, on the side, he’s been eyeing this cherry red ducati motorcycle for a long time

I’m talking 15-year-old-Keith-wanting-a-motorcycle kinda long time

So, Lance approaches Keith and, after a little persuasion, he’s willing to put their past behind him to do this job

SEXUAL TENSION ANYONE???

Despite Keith’s unsociable nature, he has a lot of connections and is good at observing people

Hence how he finds Pidge Gunderson, the wunderkind hacker

Lance is sceptical at first because this kid looks barely older than 14

Just keep in mind everyone’s in their mid 20′s here, Pidge is around 18-19

But then Pidge hacks into the seemingly tight-knit seal that is the security system of the museum

They’re instantly hired

Pidge has got a mouth on them

Is always seen with a green apple lollipop and their headphones

Do not touch their equipment. They will maim you and smile whilst doing so

Okay, so how are they gonna get this prized necklace out of its volt and at the Met Gala?

On the neck of the biggest DivaTM this side of the Universe

None other than Lotor Kingsley

He’s a model/actor who is known for his daring fashion choices and being a ditz (this is OOC, I know, and I don’t care because Drama Queen Lotor is a fav of mine)

He doesn’t care about gender norms so wearing a 150 million dollar diamond necklace is no biggie

And who is gonna make Lotor’s spectacular suit/dress to go with this necklace?

Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe

His designs were big in the 80′s but since his Singing-Cape line came out its been downhill ever since

He also may or may not be a fugitive from Austrailia. Maybe

So, a second chance at getting his name back in the industry and paying off his debt? Sign him the fuck up

Now, they need someone who is an expert on sparkly stuff

We know who is the expert on sparkly stuff

Allura Altea

She runs a very small jewellry store that was once her father’s and has always wanted to expand it but has never had the money

And now you’re letting her touch this necklace and get paid to do it? Hell yeah she’s gonna take this job

Cool, so we have a hacker, a designer, someone to break apart the necklace for easy transport

But we need someone with light fingers

Enter Romelle

Romelle does card tricks and pickpoketing on the street

Needs to support her brother Bandu who is in hospital

Good at what she does, although she’s looking for a fresh start for her and her brother

And Lance and Keith can offer that second chance

And now you’re probably wondering where Hunk is?

Hunk owns his own catering business

He used to work with Lance and Keith when they were younger on their smaller jobs but has supposedly “given up” on that life

But Lance can see right through him

Hunk is still doing jobs on the side selling tech for small-time swindlers for a good price

When Lance tells him what his cut would be, Hunk really can’t refuse

This means opening his own restraunt and he also can’t stand FOMO so yeah

So, we have our crew

But Lotor needs a date for the Met Gala

And guess who that lucky sucker is gonna be?

Nyma

Now obvs Keith is furious because you don’t do a job within a job, Lance

But Lance assures him it’s got nothing to do with petty revenge

It’s got everything to do with petty revenge

Lance is petty, he knows it, everybody knows it, so let’s move on, hm?

Team dynamics is a little shaky at first but eventually everyone starts warming up to each other

Coran is super nervous about getting this design right cause not only is this Lotor, but he’s also fucking terrible at lying

But Lance and Keith give him a few pointers, (albeit at the same time which is confusing guys, come one, give Coran a break)

But he does the trick

And this suit/dress (I say both because it’s kind of a mix between the two, the suit flares out into a skirt) is gorgous, probably his best work yet and if Lotor loves it? Then you know you’ve achieved the impossible

Lance knows a girl at Vogue who helps organise suits/dresses for everyone else as well

Lance is in a velvet navy blue suit, very simplistic although the jacket lining has a galaxy pattern

Plus his shoes are silver/metallic because why the fuck not

Keith donns a black-silk suit with embroidery roses on the jacket and with his hair tied up and the shirt open at the collar hot damn

Pidge is rocking an emerald green suit with tails and a top hat (no, its not for added height, fuck you Lance)

Hunk is lookin’ fine in a cream-white suit with gold-thread detailing all along the sleeves along with a bowtie because its cute okay

Something like this but also not (I have a feeling I’m gonna be drawing everyone in their outfits sometime soon...)

Coran looks... well it’s Coran so obvs its gonna be over the top but he still manages to pull it off and yes he’s wearing a cape because god-dammit they’ll never go out of style

Allura looks breathtaking

She’s wearing this and has stars in her hair and she is working it and no Romelle isn’t staring what are you talking about?

Speaking of Romelle, she is so pretty wtf

She is a disney princess done right

I’m talking cotton-candy pink tulle that looks like a cloud at sunset and Romelle is the sun (Allura’s words not mine)

Allura doesn’t even deny that she’s staring because look at Romelle, look at her holy

I can’t really say anymore without spoiling the movie, only that Shiro is the investigator and is also Keith’s cousin

He’s been fighting for Krolia because he knows her, he knows she didn’t commit the crime she’s been put away for

But obviously he’s conflicted now because this is his job but Keith and Krolia are family

Sigh... gotta make a choice Takashi 

Anyway, thanks for sticking around till the end if you did and until the next time I make another lame-ass au, thank you for reading, enjoy your evening, good night! *mic drop*

[bleucheesy]

Ok but that corset piercing, all I can think is Lance & Shiro/Keith/whoever(Matt I love Lance/Matt latte is my favorite coffee) & they're heavily making out when Lance gets shoved against the wall & he just whines at how his piercings pushed into his back & they think nothing of it until they run their hand up lances back & feels the piercing & they're confused a little bc 'wtf is that' then they just turn Lance around & push his shirt up & then just holy shit (the blushy 'im in love' holy shit)

Oh yeah! If they didn’t know about them (as long as Lance has had time to heal a bit, of course, cuz ouch!) But at the same time, I imagine Lance to be the type to wear backless anything to show them off. Imagine him in a halter with coordinating ribbons~

Also, I know I’ve mostly been excited about him getting his back done, but can you, for a moment, picture him with laced up legs? (Backs of the thighs especially) I am a fan.

Thanks, Anon! (sorry for the delay in response, it’s been hectic, heh)

[swiggity-swump]

We All Look The Same When We Turn Off The Light

I stole the title from a Shel Silverstein poem. Also I love Christmas but apparently I can’t write Christmas themed things lmao this turned into philosophy or something

@vldwhumpmas2017 my fill for Day 1: Fever!

“How’s he doing?” Shiro looked up to see that Pidge had poked her head through the door of Lance’s bedroom, a concerned expression on her face.

“No change,” he told her with a frown. He’d been sitting at Lance’s bedside for hours, but Lance’s fever hadn’t gone down at all; he hadn’t opened his eyes once since that morning.

“At least he hasn’t gotten worse,” Pidge offered, but Shiro could tell that she was just as anxious as he was.

Shiro traced the backs of his fingers from Lance’s temple down to his cheek, feeling helpless that nothing he was doing could get rid of that uncomfortable heat. Pidge walked over and sat on the edge of Lance’s bed, placing a hand on his knee in a futile attempt to comfort the sick paladin.

“I’m mostly worried about exactly what we might be dealing with,” Shiro confessed. “If we were on Earth I wouldn’t be nearly as worried - I mean, his fever’s a little high for my liking, but Lance is tough. It’s just… up here, we have no idea where this might have come from and what it might do. For all we know this is the onset of the most deadly disease in the universe.”

“Hey,” Pidge said gently, snapping him out of the spiral of fear his thoughts were leading towards. “I understand why you’re scared, Shiro. I’m worried, too. And I won’t lie and tell you I haven’t thought the same thing. But… if there’s one thing that I’ve learned out here, it’s that space isn’t nearly as different from Earth as I thought.

“I mean, sure, we’ve dealt with some stuff that we never could have dreamed of on Earth. But think about, like… the Arusians, from way back. They were like nothing we’d ever seen at first. But really, they just wanted to live life, have some fun. That party with them felt natural, like if you closed your eyes and forgot how tiny they were you could have been back on Earth. Or the Olkari! Their tech is way better than anything we have on Earth, but their focus on developing it is similar to a lot of ancient civilizations on Earth that centered their lives around it. Even now, we’re still pressing forward with new ideas, adapting to change, just like them!” Pidge was animated now, her eyes lit up as she reminisced about everything they’d seen. Shiro couldn’t help but smile. Her enthusiasm was contagious.

“Besides,” Pidge added, calming down a little, “Allura and Coran have a lot more experience than we do. Maybe not with humans, but I think that we can trust them to figure out how to help him.” She gave Shiro a confident grin, seeming to have dispelled her own anxiety with her passionate speech.

Shiro felt better about it, too. “You’re right about all that. Thank you, Pidge.”

“Yeah, thanks Pidge.” The two jumped at the unexpected, raspy voice cutting in. Lance was awake now, sitting up in bed and smirking his usual smirk.

“Lance!” They were all over him in seconds, Shiro with a more gentle-one armed hug, while Pidge practically full-body tackled the blue paladin. Lance smiled at the attention, though he didn’t crow about it like he normally would have.

“So hey,” he said when they’d finally had their fill of him. “You know what else is shared throughout Earth and space?” Pidge and Shiro exchanged a quick glance, then shook their heads. “No? You disappoint me,” he teased. “It’s Christmas, of course.”

“I haven’t seen anyone celebrating it out here…” Pidge hedged uncertainly.

“You do now. We’re having a gift exchange. Right now. It counts,” he added when he saw her incredulous expression. “I don’t feel like getting up, but if you guys want yours, they’re in that compartment over there.” Lance nodded to indicate where he was talking about. “It should be easy enough to tell which ones are yours, we’ve all been color-coded since day one.”

Pidge wasted no time in making her way over; the allure of a gift was too much to resist. Shiro followed behind her. They opened the compartment to find six neatly wrapped gifts - four in the colors of the other paladins’ armor, and a pink one and an orange one for Allura and Coran.

By the time Shiro sat down with his black box balanced on his knees, Pidge was already peeling the green paper off of her much smaller box. He stole a peek at Lance; the blue paladin looked pale and tired, and the deep flush in his cheeks troubled Shiro, but for now he was awake and semi-alert as he watched Pidge pull the lid off her box.

Based on the size and shape of the box, Shiro had briefly wondered if it might be some sort of jewelry, but he realized his mistake when Pidge’s eyes grew wide the way they only did for one thing. “Lance…” she breathed, taking out her present with a delicacy most would use for a baby bird.

Lance’s smile hinted at smugness, but most of it was tenderness for Pidge’s reverent handling of the Olkari chip. “I figured you’d get a lot of use out of it,” he started, but she was already halfway out the door.

“I’m sure she’ll thank you for it tomorrow,” Shiro said.

“Honestly, her face is thanks enough. I’ve never met anyone else who loved technology so much.” Lance grinned. “I’ll bet she builds herself an android instead of marrying a person. Just you watch. Ten years, maximum.”

Shiro rolled his eyes. “I think that violates some sort of ethics law.”

“You say that like Pidge cares about laws. She broke into a quiznaking military school, remember? Now hurry up and open your present, I’m tired, I wanna go back to sleep.”

“Okay, okay.” Shiro started at the corner of the box, pulling off the black paper to reveal a sleek white box underneath. He lifted the lid and immediately snapped his head up to look at Lance, stony-faced.

“Really.”

Lance began laughing, his breaths mixed in with husky coughing. Shiro sighed, an exasperated smile spreading across his face.

The shirt in the box read, “Was your dad a thief? Because he stole all the stars in the sky and put them in your eyes.”

wtf is an ending

I wrote this as gen but looking over it you could probably read it as shidge or shance if you wanted to so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[dontthinkaboutzimbits]

Kent Parson: flower of the desert

A couple months ago I moved from the armpit of Michigan to the Arizona desert and lemme tell you, it has been a trip. So I would like to formally present to you, Kent Parson adapting to desert life.

Chapstick. Kent never gave a hot god damn about chapstick before moving to the desert. Now he has four different lip balms at any given time: one to keep in his pocket wherever he goes, one for his bedroom, one for his bathroom, one he leaves in his locker at the rink. His chapsticks are all different flavors and they’re all SPF 15 minimum.

Moisturizing regimen. He also never gave one hot damn about moisturizing before and then the desert happened to him. Within a month his feet were all cracked and gnarly, the skin around his fingernails was all split and painful, his face and legs felt all tight and ashy, even his hair was dry and brittle. He finally snapped one day and dropped a hundred dollars at CVS and bought like three different lotions, a face moisturizer, hair conditioner, all kinds of stuff. They’re all also SPF 15.

Everything is red and brown wtf. The earth is reddish brown, the buildings are reddish brown, and the scenery all looks the same to Kent’s untrained eye. There is very little green except in the form of cacti. Some cacti are pink and purple, too, which Kent found unbearably charming.

Sprinklers and lawn culture: just say No. Realistically speaking, there should be no reason for mosquitoes to live in the freaking desert. Unless some assholes want to keep pristine green lawns in the middle of the desert and don’t care how much water they use to make it happen. So a bunch of *really nice neighborhoods* are chock full of mosquitoes. Proof that lawn culture is terrible—they took a sunny arid paradise and turned it into a breeding ground for blood sucking parasites. Kinda like Congress.

scorpions are real. One of Kent’s teammate’s kids found one at the park while they were play and picked it up by the tail, as you do, and showed it to Kent. And he bodily vaulted off the bench.

so are snakes. One of the other residents at Kent’s apartment complex stepped on a snake while walking her dog in the dark. Kent is never going anywhere without shoes on again.

You’ve heard of being hangry, where you’re so hungry you get super ornery and fussy? Kent gets angry thirsty now. He never goes anywhere without at least twelve ounces of water in his back pocket. Because if he gets stuck somewhere when the Thirst hits, he will put his fist through a wall.

The sun is a deadly laser all the time. Never leave the house without a hat and sunglasses. There are no clouds to protect you. There are no trees to hide under. Kent has absolutely backtracked almost all the way home or to the rink to grab his snapback or his shades. They are integral not only to his Look tm but to his very survival.

The sun is a deadly laser so Kent had to drop another hundred dollars in Walgreens on sunscreen. SPF 100. He never religiously applied sunscreen before moving out here, but it becomes a habit pretty quickly.

 Rain culture. It does rain in the desert. And when it rains, it pours. Kent was actually with Swoops the first time it rained in Vegas for him. The sky opened up just as they were about to go out for food. Kent had been in Nevada for about two months and this was the first time he had seen rain. The rain hit the windows like it was mad at them. It was a storm of biblical proportions. The leaves on the palm trees whipped wildly in the wind. “Oh wow, good weather!” Swoops said, with the utmost sincerity. Kent watched in dawning horror as he slid open the glass door and stepped out onto the balcony. Even from the couch, Kent could smell the bitter wash of rain on hot asphalt. “What…are you doing?” he managed to garble out. Lighting lanced through the sky. Swoops’ grinned as the rain ran down his face, darkened his shirt, soaked into his shoes. Kent went to the door to pull him back in the house and saw his neighbors on their own respective balconies. One of them was trying to smoke, holding a hand over the end of his cigarette with a look of determination on his face. His other neighbors were all beaming up at the sky, and hooting and hollering because the rain was icy cold on their skins after the heat of the 120 degree day. With rain running down the back of his neck, trickling over his face, Kent looked out into the street. Someone was trudging through the water where it had already risen to ankle height. They were walking barefoot. Obviously all of Nevada had gone completely insane. Kent went back inside and immediately slung off his shirt so he could wring it out in the bathtub. Every time it rains people rush out to see it, like they can’t believe it’s really happening. Sometimes Kent even gets caught up in it, but then he gets out there with Swoops or whoever he remembers that it’s fucking rain and he’s seen enough of it in his entire lifetime, thank you very much.

Any time the temperature dips below 80 he sees people in jackets and scarves. Like chill, guys. It’s not cold. His coach was all like “No it gets really cold here in the winter time. It does!” Kent doesn’t know what his face is doing. It’s a hundred and ten degrees outside in mid-October. His coach carries on, “It gets down to thirty degrees here!” Kent still doesn’t know what his face is doing as he says “Wow that’s pretty chilly.” Thirty degrees is t-shirt weather, come on.