#also why is miles so popular anyway like this story is between a hot mean girl and her loser brother

[wandaxpietro]

oc ramblings don't worry about it

think it's so funny how many people have commented on stardust days that they are just like miles or see themselves in miles because my first reaction is like THAT guy?? the depressed shut-in gamer sisterfucker who rots in his room and doesn't have any friends??? but then i remember i based miles off myself so who's really the idiot here

[stranger-rants]

Billy wouldn’t bully Eddie, because he simply would not care. He “bullied” Steve because he saw Steve as competition, and even then I could hardly call that bullying. His physical fight with Steve shouldn’t be taken out of context, nor should it position Steve as the primary victim and Billy as the perpetrator. He saw Steve with his sister. Steve threw the first punch. I’m tired of this being treated like a terrible assault when it was a fight fueled by misunderstanding and their inability to communicate because they are stupid teenagers.

Anyway, Eddie has a reputation in town and Billy came to town not giving a shit about anyone or anything in Hawkins. Why would he give a shit that Eddie runs a D&D club? Sells drugs? Hot wires cars? Listens to metal? Billy smokes. Billy loves cars. Billy listens to metal. Billy is just there trying to control this narrative he’s written for himself - the hot masculine shiny new toy from California - long enough so he can survive until graduation and he can peace out. Like, that boy is not invested in some small town gossip over Eddie “The Freak” Munson.

The way Billy has positioned himself at school is all a strategic move. His abuser disoriented him by moving the whole family two thousand miles away from his home near the tail end of his high school career. This is about getting control back. Billy can play the part of the popular jock while maintaining his interests because he just so happens to have Pretty Privilege. If he had come to Hawkins looking and acting like Eddie, it would have been different, but that doesn’t change the fact that Billy has interests that don’t fit the jock profile.

Why the hell would Billy waste his time tormenting Eddie when he gets no material gain from it? Steve was the target because Steve was at the top of the school leaderboard and Billy was looking to secure his position. Outside of that, realistically Billy’s trying to balance his need to acquire the means to get out from under his abuser’s control with the impulse to just say fuck it all and self sabotage until Neil beats him to death. That’s just the tightrope abuse survivors walk. Like, he is not out here spending precious time tormenting Eddie.

The bullying fantasies St/Eddies write to set up their relationship using Billy show a clear lack of understanding of Billy’s role in that school and how his home life influences his behavior. They also ignore that Steve spent his entire life immersed in Hawkins schools and society and while there is no canon interaction between Billy and a Eddie, it’s canon that Steve calls Eddie a freak and he is very aware of Eddie’s reputation. If anyone was going to casually bully Eddie, it would be King Steve. Like, just be honest with yourselves.

Regardless if you like Billy, you have to understand what motivates him in order to write him authentically. Treating him as this boogeyman that you can add to any story to introduce conflict is so lazy and ridiculous. Even antagonists have motivations and you have to be mindful of them or else everything becomes out of character. People severely overestimate how much Billy gives a shit about what other people are doing. At this point, people just ignore the fact that Billy has said he doesn’t care or doesn’t give a shit about others.

All Billy cares about is surviving. His entire life has been about surviving Neil, and coping (often badly) with the consequences of his abuse. If he ever interacted with Eddie at all, it would be for drugs which is one of his unhealthy coping mechanisms. Why would he alienate the one person who can provide him with what he needs on a regular basis? Billy is a pragmatic person, and everything he does has a purpose even if it makes him look like the bad guy. Please just use your fucking brain when you write about him.

[prismatoxic]

"I hope any of this was interesting"

OF COURSE IT'S INTERESTING, THAT'S WHY I ASKED !!!

that's literally so great, those points you've talked about are some of my favorite things from ptk and it's really exciting to know you're so invested in it! (well, duh. Obviously, you're the one writing it)

At first I was kinda wary about the whole dysphoria and gender stuff, I was sort of scared to read when provided the warnings, but as I kept on going (because well, I just couldn't stop. The fic is just that good) it turned out being a really really interesting exploration of Chilchuck's journey, and some things even I could relate to !! To a strangely deep, personal level what the fuck tox

And oh, fuck yeah. The worldbuilding aspect is top notch. Probably my second favorite part of the whole thing beside the dynamic between chilaios. It's just so good to get to witness this carefully crafted world and how each of the characters fit in it! I really fucking love the way it works so well but is also riddled with some deeply rooted issues. How chilchuck fits in it, or rather, how he doesn't fit in it but makes room for himself anyways, learns to work around it. It's fucking great. It just ends up being sort of the default I think about for when I imagine any more modern universe stuff within dungeon meshi. The car stuff! that's so clever and interesting! Ugh half foots don't even have cars!!! Wtf!!! So cool!!! How do I explain to my friends this without making them read your fic wtf !!

Been ranting for a bit too long, and didn't even mention chilaios too much, but. Their dynamic. Fuck yeah. It had me twirling my hair kicking my feet. Laios' daddy issues, how they manifest in his relationship with Chilchuck (from the beginning too, ugh. Saw it coming from miles away and I was ecstatic waiting for it to finally boil over) and how Chil ALSO has some Dad issues (he is simultaneously the dad and the son) and how they both fuck about it freaky style. They're so good, and this is the perfect Chilaios dynamic, where they belong. So good. I love weird queer sex and if we're lucky they'll be having lots of it. Eventually.

They are SO hot together. I'm going insane. It's just so hot, the fic didn't even have smut yet and I was already cartoonishly pulling on my collar like "is it hot in here??" From having Laios call Chil "sir" instead of his name. All the setup had me going crazy, you did such a good job!

Anyway. Rant over. I need to calm tf down. Ty for writing ^_^ but take your time at the fic, enjoy your oc brainrot hours freely and don't force yourself to be churning out chapters just because we like the fic, we can wait, and we will.

THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE THIS MESSAGE IT'S SO NICE...

ptk is my baby, i've put a lot of time and effort and love into it and it really does mean the world to me when people appreciate it for what it is ;_; and plenty of people do, it's surprisingly popular ?? but i get very giddy when people engage with it on a deeper level, where i'm writing it from

i do want to get back to it soon, oc brainrot or no i'm extremely determined to see ptk through to the end, and some time away from it has given me some fresh ideas. plus i do need to get to the penetrative sex!!!

anyway, you're very nice and i love how you view and appreciate my story, here's a preview of chapter 12 for you

"...Laios?” he croaks.

“Oh, g’morning,” Laios says behind him, the sound of his typing stopping immediately. “...Good afternoon, I guess,” he corrects himself. “How are you—Actually, forget that, I think I know the answer.”

Miffed by his warm tone in spite of the fact that he’s acknowledging Chilchuck’s abject misery, Chilchuck lifts his head to glare over his shoulder. “Why am I naked?”

Laios is, himself, only in a pair of sweatpants, his legs crossed and laptop balanced on top of them. The curtains beyond him are drawn shut, but the light that is coming through is still far too bright. His stupid smile is even brighter, though there’s a touch of concern to it. “You got hot,” he explains.

That tracks. “Don’t remember that,” Chilchuck mutters, rolling bonelessly onto his back with a groan and throwing an arm over his eyes. “Was I trying to claw my clothes off in my sleep?”

“Yeah,” Laios confirms with a little laugh. “And thrashing around. I helped you get out of them and you went right back to sleep.”

He’s talking quieter than usual, Chilchuck realizes. “So much for me taking care of you,” he mutters.

“It’s a symbiotic relationship,” Laios assures, and Chilchuck feels gentle fingers card through his hair. “Let me get you some fresh water.”

“Don’t use—” Chilchuck makes a strangled sound as Laios starts to get off the bed, the movement making him feel like he’s on a boat at sea. “...Don’t use biology terms about your boyfriend, dipshit,” he finishes when it settles. “Fuck’s sake.”

“Don’t be mean to me, I’m going out of my way to baby you right now,” Laios chides, voice receding from the room.

“Baby me?” Chilchuck squawks, lifting his arm to glare indignantly at the doorway, and Laios laughs out in the hall.

[carriagelamp]

April l was apparently the month for me to revisit some children’s authors who are steeped in controversy at the moment. So here’s my hot (well, lukewarm) takes on issues that absolutely do not need a single other person talking about them. Also some actual good books that I read this month!

Badger in the Basement

The Animal Ark books are a childhood classic — though I recently found out that apparently there’s a difference between American and British publications, and the American versions didn’t include a lot of actual COOL animals which is… bizarre. As a Canadian stuck in the middle of this, this nonsense drives me nuts. This one was about the main character, the daughter of pair of vets, trying to protect a local badger sett from men wanting to participate in badger digging and baiting. These books are always feel-good, and it was a nice single-day-read while I waited for a library book to come in.

Chi’s Sweet Home

The cutest manga series about the misadventures of a little kitten, Chi, who has been adopted by a loving family. I’ve never bothered to read them in order, but apparently this time I stumbled across the last in the series -- whoops! Still, stood on it’s own pretty easily, and it was a fun read! Things get tense when the family realize that they may have found Chi’s original home… and may have to give up Chi forever.

Earth Before Us: Dinosaur Empire!

This was an odd graphic novel, I feel like I’m not sure who the target audience was exactly. It was a nonfiction comic done in a Magic School Bus style, with the purpose of teaching current, up-to-date facts about the animals that lived in the Mesozoic Era. If you’re into dinosaurs, you’ll probably enjoy this! The art is absolutely adorable, I love the dinosaur illustrations, and I learnt some really neat facts. That being said, the pages are really dense, and there’s a lot of info crammed in… some of it will probably go way over a child’s head without specific additional teaching or a very strong personal interest. But that being said, a dinosaur obsessed kid is still probably going to really dig this… as would a dinosaur obsessed adult. It wasn’t my cup of tea exactly but I’m sure it is someone’s.

assorted Dr Seuss Books

I love these types of controversies because it means getting to listen to every moron who has never had an opinion on Dr Seuss ever start generating a mile of them out of the aether. So many people are so mad about the six books that are getting retired and I bet most of them haven’t even read them. These are not the friggin Cat In The Hat or The Lorax or even the likes of Yertle The Turtle. I was raised by a grade one teacher, was a voracious reader who loved Dr Seuss, and wrote my university thesis on children’s literature, and I still only knew two of the six books on that list. So by all means, if you want to write an essay explaining why those specific books are worth clinging to, feel free, but if you haven’t even heard of them maybe it’s not a big deal. *grumble*

Anyway, my grousing aside, it gave me the urge to reread a bunch of Seuss books, including the two retiring books I personally knew: McElligot’s Pool and To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street. I do still enjoy both, especially McElligot’s Pool which always sparked my imagination, but it’s obvious why they’re being retired and I personally think it’s the right choice. There’s so much good kidlit out there, we can survive without these.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden

A f/f romance manga, fairly standard fair though cute if you’re looking for some historical angst, pretty dresses, and mutual pining. A young Japanese woman moves to England in the hopes of meeting a writer (Mr Frank) who she has long admired. Along the way she is employed by an enigmatic woman with plenty of money, rumours, and melancholy following her. I’ll be honest, uncut romance isn’t really my genre, but I’ll probably still try to the second book to see if the story picks up.

From The Holocaust to Hogan’s Heroes: The Autobiography of Robert Clary

It’s no secret that I’ve been on a Hogan’s Heroes kick. This is the autobiography of Roberty Clary, who plays my favourite character in the show, Louis Lebeau. And holy shit what a life this man has had. He was a Jew growing up in France before the start of the war, and who was one of many children taken away from his family and sent off to the concentration camps in Germany. This was an amazing, intense, inspiring, and heartbreaking read… it has Clary’s voice all over it, and it tells everything from the charming childhood he had, to the horrors of the concentration camps, the brutality of survival, and then about his exciting journey into the entertainment industry afterwards. It’s an experience, would recommend if you’re a fan of the show.

The Ickabog

The second controversial author I read this month. Originally I was going to give Rowling’s new book a miss, given everything that’s been going on over the past few years, but in the end my curiosity got the better of me. Politics aside, it was a fun read! Not groundbreaking, but enjoyable enough and written in an interesting style. It didn’t read the same as a lot of modern kidlit, it felt more like a cross between a classic fairytale and a Dahl book. Perhaps a bit like Despereaux. It tells the tale of how an idyllic country gradually falls into ruin through the ignorance, inaction, and greed, and how a supposedly fictional monster hides the very real, human monsters at the heart of the country. It was cute and pleasant and I’m glad I decided to get it from the library, though for anyone who is choosing not to engage for political reasons: you aren’t missing anything major.

Franklin In The Dark

A Canadian classic. I don’t think there’s a single person my age who hasn’t read or been read a pile of these books, and the nostalgia is so comforting. I found this on Youtube and listened to someone read it to me, and honestly 10/10 would recommend for a calm evening.

The big reason I decided to seek this one out though, was because I finally got to the M*A*S*H episode that inspired this entire series! In the episode C*A*V*E, in which Hawkeye is freaking out over his claustrophia while the camp is forced to take shelter in a nearby cave during some intense shelling, he mentions that if he had been born a turtle he would have been afraid of his own shell, and that the other turtles would make fun of him cause he’d be forced to walk around in his underwear. And so this first story about a young turtle who’s afraid to sleep in his own shell and drags it around behind him. So if you were ever curious, Franklin the Turtle is in fact named after Dr Benjamin Franklin Pierce. (this is also why the French version is named Benjamin!)

Wolves of the Beyond: Lone Wolf

I loved the Guardians of Ga’Hoole books as a kid but I never read the Wolves of the Beyond series. This first book was an interesting read, Lasky does a great job creating worlds and societies for the animals that inhabit them. Lone Wolf is about a deformed wolf cub who was abandoned in the wilderness to die. And he would have, if a desperate mother bear, who had recently had her only cub killed, hadn’t stumbled across him and saved him, vowing to raise him as her own...

Petals

A “silent” graphic novel. It has beautiful artwork and is told entirely through pictures, no text at all. It’s loves and heart-wrenching, though it left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied… I felt like there should have been more. Still, a neat story.

The Southern Book Club‘s Guide To Slaying Vampires

What a banger of a novel!! I can’t recommend this one enough. It’s about a group of suburban mothers in the ‘80s who form a book club out of a shared need for community and a love of grisly true crime novels. But when a strange drifter appears in town and starts setting down roots… and when children begin disappearing… these women need to band together to confront the horrors that have invaded their neighbourhood, and face down not only a terrifying monster among them but the patriarchal system that allows it to flourish. To quote the preface:

“Because vampires are the original serial killers, stripped of everything that makes us human — they have no friends, no family, no roots, no children. All they have is hunger. They eat and eat but they’re never full. With this book, I wanted to pit a man freed from all responsibilities but his appetites against women whose lives are shaped by their endless responsibilities. I wanted to pit Dracula against my mom.    As you’ll see, it’s not a fair fight.“

The Weirn Books: Be Wary of the Silent Woods

I love Chmakova’s graphic novels, though I’ve only ever read her slice-of-life middle grade series before. This one is pure fantasy and very fun. It’s about two cousin “weirns” — witches with demon familiars — who attend the local night school. Things get strange though when an ominous figure appears outside the old, abandoned school house deep in the Silent Woods, and begins tempting children down its path…

I’m very much looking forward to word of a second book and was honestly kind of surprised that I haven’t heard more about this book given how popular her other series is. This has all the same charm and quirks but for those of us who prefer stories based in fantasy rather than reality.

And A Bonus...

For some masochistic reason I got a Garfield book out of the library. Jeez, if I didn’t love these as a kid, I found them absolutely laugh out loud hilarious, and now I just don’t see it anymore. But here I will share the one strip in the book that actually made me laugh

[hu4ngs]

anything for yuta please! he is so hot in the latest comeback i cRI

im having a break currently and BOY im so happy to write for you!!! +++ i’d like to take this opportunity to ask you all to stay safe and healthy!

yall know what’s gonna happen. yes you’ve guessed it right i’m doing a strangers to lovers au

so let’s assume you look like your twin bc well…. you’re twins

BUT your twin is the popular twin, and you’re mediocre. AND you two go to separate schools

you’re going to an all-girls’ science school because your life is already hectic you don’t wanna make it anymore hectic with men

your sister goes to a nearby art school. so you know what that means; f r a t  b o y s.

also you’ve been knew that your sister is a bit of a player herself

like you’ve had boys coming to your house, crying, begging for your sister to take him back

nonetheless, though, you still love each other and depend on each other a lot

like, whenever you feel like getting a boyfriend, she’d help you out (even though your relationship ends up in flames about 3 months later because the boys you dated are all fratboys that couldn’t appreciate you enough). and in return you’d help her a lot with getting ready for dates or with her studies

so one day

you were in your school, watching a bunch of girls do a practice match of volleyball with another school because you were bored

then you got a text from your sister saying that she needed help and that it was a level-10 threat

i mean,,,, LEVEL 10? that has to be serious

so you dashed tf out of your school

by a few minutes, you’d arrived to your school

your first instinct was to go to her classroom

so you did

and then you saw a bunch of men hogging around your sister’s desk

so you were like?? wtf is going on

“what are you guys doi-”

before you could even finish your sentence, one of them yelled, “there she is!”

and another yelled, “get her!”

you were freaked??? first of all, you actually put in efforts in how you look today, you’re not about to let some crazy men ruin it for you

so you ran for your life

as you were running you wonder what your sister had done for these men to decide to kill her

thanks to your teacher for forcing you to join tons of cross-country runs, you managed to get away from them

you ran into a room and in the midst of panic you knocked onto something, and it all fell apart

you cupped your mouth

from what you can see, you probably knocked over some arts student’s sculpture

there wasn’t anyone, though, so you started looking around to hide before any art student walks in

as you were running towards what looked like a storage room, someone stepped out

he had blonde hair, and was just crazily handsome

but that wasn’t the point

he saw you, and then looked over behind you

“what the- hey! did you do that?” he asked

you weren’t sure if he was angry, or if that’s just his normal face, but eitherway he was really handsome

you looked behind you to the broken sculpture again,  and shrugged hesitantly

“may…..be…..?” your voice squeaked at the end

he gave you a look, before walking past you, “if you haven’t noticed i had been working on this for a very long time, asshole.”

his intonation wasn’t angry, but it still left a sting when he said that

you felt guilty

“i’m sor-”

“oh shut it, yuna, save that sorry for my friends that you’ve fucked.” he scoffed as he started cleaning up your mess

you were confused for a second, before everything clicked

he must’ve mistook you for your sister

you laughed awkwardly

“um, i’m y/n, not yuna” you said

he stopped sweeping, and then shot you a confused glance

“since when did you have a whole identity change?” he asked sarcastically again

you’re usually annoyed when people gave you an attitude, but you weren’t this time. maybe because you deserved it……?

“oh no, yuna is yuna. i’m her twin!” you smiled.

he stopped again, and looked at you

he clicked his tongue, and then stared at you from your head to your toe

“well…. you do have a better fashion sense than your sister.” he said

you didn’t know why, but you felt supeeeeeer happy when he said that

“i didn’t know yuna had a twin?”

“oh i go to the all-girls’ school a few miles away from here.” you told him

by now, he was done cleaning up the mess and was working on another sculpture

you wonder why he wasn’t SO mad at the fact that you literally broke a what seemed like months of hardwork

you walked over to the blonde, but he didn’t give you any reaction

“why aren’t you throwing a tantrum that i broke your masterpiece?” you asked

he gave you a glance before going back to his new sculpture

he shrugged, “i felt like it was ugly anyways.” he casually said

you nodded, and then just watched him work on his clay in silence

“so why are you here?” he asked, breaking the silence

you chuckled, “some boys are chasing my sister. i guess this is what she meant when she was having a level-10 threat.”

the guy chuckled too

“aren’t you gonna help your sister?” he asked

you shook your head, “she can handle this on her own. i’m sure her new jock boyfriend will help her out.”

“oh yea, i’m sure johnny will. everyone’s scared of him” he agrees

“you’re not so bad, y/n. i’m yuta.” he held out his hand - that had so many clay on it

it seems like he knew exactly what he was doing as he gave you a smirk to see if you were gonna shake hands or not

you took this as a friendship test - or something - so you took his hand

he made a playful look of disgust, “ew, can’t believe you took my hand like that.” he laughed

you’re pretty sure that was the first time that you saw him properly smile, and he had a really pretty smile too.

“your smile is so pretty….. i wish mine was like yours. when i smile i look like a goat.” you said as you simultaneously rested your face onto your clay-ed hand

“oh GOD!” you yelled, and made yuta laugh

“dumbass!” he claimed happily, before wiping a finger onto your nose

“HEY!” you yelled, and wiped some onto his face

yuta didn’t flinch, instead he was simply laughing

after a moment of laughter, he sighed softly, and then looked at you

“just between the two of us, you’re the better twin, y/n” he confessed, and  you giggled

he smiled again, and went on with his work

“how do i get these off my face by the way?”

he chuckled again, “you can’t” he joked

but your dumbass, who has never had experience with arts, believed him

so you were panicking

“what the- um… shouldn’t we get these off our faces?” you asked, nudging him

he shook his head, “i like it on mine. it’s a concept of van gogh’s.”

your heart was really gonna sink in your stomach, he didn’t have as much clay on his face as you did!

“that’s nice, but we should get it off our faces”

you said, nudging him even more

then, he burst out laughing again.

“you’re so funny” he told you

“you can’t be this clueless. of course the clay can be removed. just wash it with water later, idiot” he said, and shook his head

“oh” you said, a little bit embarrassed

then, you got a call

you fished your phone out just to see your sister calling

you signaled yuta to be quiet and he nodded

yuta didn’t have to hear your sister’s voice to know that she was furious at you

“wow! thank god, right? hope you don’t break his heart too.” you said sarcastically

yuta laughed at your snarky attitude

“yes i’m at your school, but a bunch of boys started chasing me thinking i was you.” you explained

“you know what? don’t come home if you’re gonna stay angry!”

you ended the call and turned back to yuta

“well, she’s mad.” you told him, and he nodded

“i love her and all, but she’s the most annoying, irritating, picky, selfish person ever when she’s mad.” you scoffed

“you can always sleep in the streets tonight” he joked

you gave him a look, and he looked away, still thinking it was a decent joke

“just lock her out,” he suggested

“i can’t, she has a spare key.”

“that’s tragic”

you nodded in agreement

“you can come over to my house if you’re comfortable enough” he winked when you looked at him

“but i bet you won’t do it, you look like you don’t have the balls to stay a night with a boy” he shrugged casually as he kept his eyes onto his sculpture

“bet.” you said, and he genuinely looked shocked

“what the hell, are- are you serious?” he stammered, which you found funny

“i mean, sure, why not?”

“aren’t you worried that i might be a serial killer?” he asked

you shrugged as you leaned onto the table in front of him

“so you’re my own version of joe goldberg? sign me up” you joked

he laughed, “you’re brave”

you let out a peace sign as a respond

“we should order in some pizzas tonight then, my treat!” he happily exclaimed

you had been staring at his face for so long - since you first met him

and you can’t help but call him handsome in your mind each time too

you weren’t really that much of a believer in love at first sight but come on, now. yuta has the looks, the talents, the personality, the respect, the humour. and to top all of that he’s got a bit of an attitude. he was screaming boyfriend material into your ears at this point

when he realised you weren’t giving out a response to a pizza night, he froze

“are you on a- um- are you on a diet? do you wanna eat something with low calories instead or-”

taken aback you immediately refuse, “oh my god, no, no! pizza is fine for tonight.” you told him

he let out a sigh of relief

“my ex used to freak out whenever i pick something to eat and it’s not up to her standards, sorry.” he explained

you rolled your eyes at the thought, “that’s plain annoying.”

he nodded in agreement, “it’s a different story if she had something to eat in mind, but no. she lets me decide and then throws a tantrum when i suggest something simple, or some shit like that.” he grunted

you chuckled seeing him annoyed

“hey, what time is it, by the way?” he asked

you opened your phone, and showed it to him, it read 7:48 PM.

“you wanna get going? talking about food is making me hungry.” he explained

you nodded, “me too.”

he started cleaning up his desk, and you helped him out

afterwards, the two of you went to wash the clay out of your hands and faces, yuta not forgetting to splash some water onto you while you were at it

the campus was dark and half-empty by then, some students were giving you looks for splashing water at each other, and you had to admit it was a bit embarrassing

“my house is kinda close to the campus, do you wanna walk or do you wanna take the bus?” he asked

you took a while to think, “since we’re gonna get fat tonight, let’s do some exercise beforehand.” you suggested, and he was fine with it

so you two started walking together

it all felt ethereal to you

the weather was great, it was windy in the right ways, the sky still had a hint of purple and pink to it

you had asked yuta a question that had probably excite yuta, because he was talking with full enthusiasts, and you were enjoying yourself seeing him so passionate about something

then, he absentmindedly swung an arm around your shoulder

and you’re just there like ‘OwO’

but you didn’t want to ruin the moment since he was still talking so passionately

so you acted like you didn’t notice it and carried on with the conversation

plus, you were lowkey (or highkey) enjoying his warmth. he’s a very warm person >:(

then, you two reached his apartment, which looked really nice

when you entered his apartment, it was a bit messy, but it was still pretty

you came to a conclusion yuta was a man of STYLE!!!!

“sorry if my place doesn’t live up to your expectations” he said, but you immediately disagree

“this is a really nice place!” you assured

he kinda gave off a playful look before sitting next to you on the sofa, “so if i were to bring you here on a date, would you like it?” he asked

you were taken aback by the question, but that doesn’t mean a smile wasn’t going to form onto your face

you immediately looked away, still having a hard time removing the grin off of your face

“i don’t know, you haven’t asked me on a date to your house yet.” you told him

he laughed, before poking his head onto your shoulder to see your reaction, “so you want me to ask you out on a lazy date?” he asked

you pushed him away, completely embarrassed, “bro like, shut the fuck up” you said playfully, which made yuta burst out laughing

“your reactions to everything are just so cute.” he told you before softly letting a sigh out

“thanks, we’ve been knew that i’m cute.” you joked

yuta made a disgusted face jokingly too, which made you laugh out of embarrassment

both of you took a really long time to finish off your meals becuase both of you were busy criticizing the shitty netflix series that you were watching

by the time both of you were tired, it was already 4 in the morning

neither you nor yuta could believe that both of you had been talking for that long

but it was undeniable that both of you were enjoying each other’s companies so much

at this point you were ready to propose to this man

but OBVIOUSLY you didn’t wtf

also, by now, you were both cuddled up by the sofa while tall girl was playing on the tv

“do you wanna watch another movie after this?” he asked, you nodded absentmindedly even though you were falling asleep

“how are we gonna get to school tomorrow?” you mumbled groggily

yuta was silent for a while and then he said, “let’s just skip tomorrow!” he suggested

you were falling asleep, yes, but the thought of skipping school excites you

you didn’t always skip school, but you wouldn’t turn down an opportunity either

“that’d be great,” you told him, before laying your head back onto his shoulder

“you know what, y/n?” he asked, you hummed as a response

“let’s go out on a date tomorrow.” he whispered, and then lied his head onto yours

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

Stella and the Wolf - Chapter 13

You can read it here on AO3, or find the Tumblr Chapter Index here. 

Peter Hale drives at 2009 Hyundai that doesn’t belong to him. There’s a woman’s cardigan on the back seat, and a Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital lanyard hanging out of the glove compartment. The ID it’s attached to is hidden inside the glove compartment, but Stiles has no doubt whose car it is: the nurse’s. The redhead who smelled of magic.

He thinks of Lydia.

A siren, maybe. A goddess, certainly, even if she’s just an ordinary human. But she’s not, is she? She’s something too, according to Peter. Stiles wonders if he’ll live long enough to discover what.

He curls his fingers around the seatbelt, and tries not to steal glances at Peter Hale.

He isn’t sure where Peter is taking him.

He’s too afraid to open his mouth and ask.

Rains spatters on the windshield, smudging the passing lights. They’re a few blocks over from downtown, achingly close to the Sheriff’s Department. If they stop at the next red light, maybe…

But the light stays green as they cruise through, and even if Stiles managed to get out of the car without Peter grabbing him, what are the chances he could outrun an Alpha werewolf? And maybe there’s a tiny part of him that hopes Peter really is looking for Derek, and that’s all he wants from Stiles is his help, not his life. He doesn’t know why Peter would want to kill him—well, apart from the fact that Stiles witnessed him murder the nurse—but that’s always been the problem, hasn’t it? Stiles hasn’t cracked the pattern.

He knows why Peter killed the people who killed his family. He knows, and he can’t pretend to be appalled or anything. If anyone hurt Dad and Stella… well, Stiles wouldn’t hold back either.

But Laura Hale doesn’t fit the pattern.

Stiles watches the lanyard hanging from the glove compartment swing back and forth as they round a corner, and a flash of memory hits him. He’s eight, and Mom and Dad are laying on their bed, and Stiles is wedged between them like a little tick. Mom has her wedding ring on a chain, holding it above her belly—that’s where the baby lives!—and if it swings one way it’s a girl, and if it swings another way it’s a boy, and it’s—

“An old wives tale,” Dad says, but he’s laughing.

“Hush, you,” Mom tells him. “I’m not old!”

The ring begins to swing, and it’s like magic, and Stiles bounces up and down excitedly when Mom tells him the baby is a girl.

“Might be,” Dad says. “It’s fifty-fifty!”

And Mom just laughs and says, “We’ll see.”

The lanyard swings back and forth, back and forth, and Stiles thinks of Stella. He thinks of her at Melissa’s house tonight, making a blanket for the kitten. He thinks of her standing on the top of the car in the parking light on student teacher night, a tiny, solitary figure, brave in the face of danger. He thinks of her eating breakfast with Derek, and her bright, delighted smiles that were echoed faintly, almost unwillingly, in the quirk of Derek’s mouth. He thinks of her reading Matilda to a comatose man and not knowing he was a monster.

The car turns into a parking garage. It’s almost entirely empty at this hour. The office workers who use the place between nine and five are at home, eating dinner, or tucking their kids in, or curling up on the couch to watch TV.

They drive down to the first level underground. Yellow fluorescent lights flicker overhead. Peter pulls the car into a parking space, and turns the engine off.

Stiles tries to remember how to breathe.

“Now,” Peter says, and his eyes flash red, “you said you could help me find my nephew?”

“I have an idea,” Stiles says. “I’m going to need a computer.”

“There’s one in the trunk.”

***

The computer isn’t the only thing in the trunk. The nurse’s body is there as well. Stiles feels like a tomb raider or something, levering the laptop out from under the woman’s stiff hand. Like he’s expecting her reanimated corpse to grab for it at any second.

It’s the strangest feeling in the world.

Not the faint dissociation. That’s to be expected, probably.

No, it’s the way that his brain tries to tell him that she might be the monster in this scenario, and not the man standing next to him.

Maybe it’s his brain trying to protect him.

But maybe it’s more than that?

Stiles doesn’t trust himself enough right now to tell the difference.

***

“There’s this app,” Stiles says, once the trunk is closed and the nurse’s body is hidden from sight again. “I think Derek took Scott’s phone, so we can use the app to track it.”

Peter prowls behind him, never more than a step away, back and forth, back and forth.

Stiles’s fingers jitter over the keys of the laptop.

“His user name is 'Allison'?” Peter asks, and Stiles can hear the contempt dripping from his tone. And then: “His password is also 'Allison'?”

Stiles summons more sass than he feels: “Still want him in your pack?”

There’s a huff of hot breath against the back of his neck that might almost be laughter.

***

Scott’s phone is in the Preserve.

“I don’t get it,” Stiles says. “He’s being kept at your old house?”

“Not at,” Peter says. “Under. I know exactly where he is.”

“Last night,” Stiles says, keeping his gaze fixed on the screen.  “Last night Kate Argent tried to get me and Stella into her car. She had a gun.”

He hears Peter’s low growl. “What time was this?”

“About eight.” Stiles dares turn his head, and catch Peter’s intense red gaze. “Did she have Derek then?”

“Interesting,” says Peter. “And no.”

“Why is it interesting?”

“Because that means she’s hunting you for bait, little rabbit,” Peter tells him. “There aren’t many things that would get my nephew to step into her trap, but your little hummingbird heartbeat just might.” He lifts his nose, like he can smell Stiles’s fear. He can, probably. “You’re lucky she found him, or she’d still be prowling for you.”

“I don’t think—” But his protestation that Derek doesn’t really give a shit about him are cut off when Peter grips his wrist suddenly, and turns him so that he’s pushed back against the trunk of the car.

“Humans,” Peter says, his lips curling. “So fragile. Tell me, Stiles. Would you like the bite? If it doesn't kill you - and it could - you'll become like us.”

“Like you?”

Peter’s mouth quirks into a smile. “Yes, a werewolf. Would you like me to draw you a picture? That first night in the woods, I took Scott because I needed a new pack. It could've easily been you. You'd be every bit as powerful as him. No more standing by his side, watching him become stronger, and quicker, more popular, watching him get the girl. You'd be equals. Maybe more. Yes or no?”

And Stiles’s brain shorts out for a second there.

For a second he thinks of what it would be like to be strong, superhero strong. To not be the breakable, bruisable human constantly getting pushed around by things bigger and tougher than he is.

And then he thinks of Stella and Dad.

“No,” he says, well aware that there’s nothing he can do except say that one word. There’s no way he can stop it if Peter wants it to happen. “I don’t want to be like you.”

For a moment he thinks he’s crossed the line—it won’t be the first time his mouth has run away with him—but Peter only smiles. “Do you know what I heard just then? Your heart beating slightly faster over the words ‘I don't want.’ You may believe that you're telling me the truth, but you are lying to yourself.”

Maybe.

Maybe it is a lie.

Or maybe it was fear that made his heart jump.

Fear that Peter will bite him anyway.

“Don’t you understand yet?” Peter asks, tilting his head to one side. “I’m not the bad guy here.”

There’s a dead body in the trunk that tells a different story though.

Peter finally uncurls his fingers from Stiles’s wrist, and lets it drop.

“Give me your keys,” he says, and what?

Stiles digs around in his pocket and holds the Jeep keys out. Watches as Peter Hale curls his hand around them and crushes them.

Crushes them.

His smile seems a little rueful as he drops the keys back into Stiles’s palm. “Goodbye, Stiles.”

And then he’s gone.

He didn’t kill Stiles, and he’s gone.

And Stiles has to run the three miles back to school.

***

“Stiles!”

It’s not Scott who grabs him by the arm the second he bursts back into the school gym—where is Scott anyway?—it’s Lydia. And she strong-arms him as easily as any jock, dragging him to the nearest wall and shoving him against it.

“What the hell happened to you?” she demands. “What the hell is going on?”

“Nothing,” he says, aware of Jackson looming up on them. “It’s nothing. Just stay out of it, okay?”

And then Jackson’s right there, and he’s giving Stiles a knowing look, and taking Lydia by the hand. “Yeah, let the little weirdo have his little secrets, Lydia.”

Like Jackson isn’t playing with fire as well, but as long as he keeps Lydia out of it, Stiles doesn’t care.

“Stay out of it,” he says again, this time to Jackson. “Just stay out of it.”

You wouldn’t want to be one of them, he wants to tell him, if you knew.

“Freak,” Jackson says, and leads Lydia away.

Stiles wipes his sweaty palms on his pants, and checks his phone. No texts. No calls. And where the hell is Scott?

The avalanche hits tonight, Stiles has no doubt. Peter, and Derek, and the Argents—it’s all about to come to a head out at the old Hale house in the Preserve. And Stiles wants to be there. He wants to help Derek. He doesn’t care about anyone else, but he wants Derek to get out alive. But there’s too much crazy, and too many people with fangs and bullets, and Stiles wants to help, but he also doesn’t want to be there to see it all go wrong. He doesn’t want to see Derek get hurt, or worse.

He’s small and selfish, probably, but he’s also scared.

He’s so, so scared.

He sends a text to Allison: You and Scott stay out of the Preserve tonight, ok? Promise.

And then he sends another one to his Dad: Can’t start the Jeep. Can you come pick me up?

Maybe he’ll tell Dad he dropped the keys down a garbage disposal or something.

He goes outside and sits in the cool, and get away from the music, and the dancing, and the people, and all this bullshit. He hates it. He hates himself more.

Dad texts back after a few minutes: On my way now.

Stiles bows his head and waits.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Demon Slayer 12 - 13 | OPM 23 - 24 (FINAL) | BSD 36 - 37 (FINAL) | Shield Hero 25 (FINAL) | Fruits Basket 12 - 13 | To the Abandoned Sacred Beasts 1 | Astra 1 | Maou-sama, Retry! 1 | UchiMusume 1 | Dr Stone 1 | Fire Force 1 | Granbelm 1

Summer debuts aplenty!

Demon Slayer 12

I assume the creature on the episode titlecard is a boar…?

I see…! So Kyogai uses the drums like a game controller! Y’know, like A = attack and directional keys to move.

I almost expected Inosuke to appear from behind the screen door, but it was just Tanjiro…

Huh? For some reason, I find Zenitsu funny now…but only the tiniest bit. Not enough to laugh out loud, but enough to give tiny “heh”s.

Well…that episode title didn’t lie, at least…

Ah-hah! I knew it! Knewwwwwwwww it! It’s the double-personality trope I liked 5 years ago (you see it embodied in Martin/Alter-Az). The only thing I didn’t know was how Zenitsu would become badass…well, now we know. He sleep fights…I still think ingesting blood to invoke a second personality is still way cooler though.

Shoichi? Is that the kid’s name?

“Marechi” doesn’t seem to mean anything…

“Show me your wounds.” Then again, there are some wounds that you can’t present to others…not unless you show the side effects.

As much as I was scared by Exposition Crow, I have to be thankful the little feathered buddy is around. I wouldn’t understand “marechi” otherwise. But seriously, where does that crow hide in his spare time…?

Oh…the duty of filial piety…I know your feel, Tanjiro.

Tanjiro’s brain!Zenitsu is so accurate, I LOLled…a tiny bit.

Tanjiro, you gotta remember: be proud of where you’ve gotten today! Don’t be the man you were yesterday! Keep evolving with the times like water itself, because that is what water is about – change! (triumphant music plays in the background to accompany this declaration)

The only problem I have with filial piety is…what happens when your family has only daughters???

OPM S2 Ep 11 (Ep 23)

Garou’s got a point in that villains are meant to be sympathetic in order to get a good story. However, I’d still root for the heroes all the same.

Naruto running…why’s it so popular???

“Mentsuyu” (on Saitama’s blue shirt) means “noodle soup base” = a mixture of dashi (soup stock), soy sauce, mirin and sugar.

It took me a replay to realise that Garou turned red when the tree fell down.

BSD 36

Uh, dude? Who calls their kid “Eruisu-chan”…? It’s Elise, isn’t it?

Katai – yet again, can I just say he is the husbando we need and not the husbando we want? (LOL) There’s even what appears to be a sake bottle in the bottom left corner…  

Is there such thing as a bullet-proof futon???

Come to think of it, this scene with all the rubble about halfway through the episode looks like it comes from the Dead Apple first key visual –the one that came out when the movie was announced. Not the Shin Soukoku one, the other one with Soukoku in a rubble-filled place looking at the horizon.

Looking at Natsume-sensei from the back reveals his hair is calico-coloured too…

I wonder how much of Dazai’s scheming is actually just Natsume-sensei…?

“What did you have for dinner last night?” “Yeah.” – Just imagining this with a monotone instead of Akutagawa’s usual anger is hilarious!

Snakes don’t run…?

Oh, I get why he was calling Akutagawa “bro”! When you’re married, you call your brother in law “brother” as well!

Bungou Stray Dogs 37 (FINAL)

I discovered something – the kanji under ECHO, 回向, are read ekou. What do they mean? The verb form means “to hold a memorial service for [someone]”, so I’d assume it’s “memorial service”.

For some reason, when Atsushi said “you’re not paying for this ride!”, I thought, “It’s your Ubr driver here”…LOL.

I seem to remember that Goncharov controls rock and his power is The Precipice…but I don’t remember reading past ch. 52…

“How can you be so sure?” I thought it was something like “Because that’s what I would do.” Turns out I was right…maybe I have read chapter 53??? Or is this a previous chapter that’s been movd forward???

Hmm…come to think of it, why is Akutagawa’s power to control fabric anyway? (Because he can control other things, it’s just that he chooses to use his coat as a default.) Does the Rashomon story have to do with that…?

Oh, that’s cute. Shin Soukoku are on the same thinking wavelength now. (somewhat sarcastic)

Come to think of it – season 1 anime!Atsushi was about as whiny as Zenitsu…hmm. Now there’s a cross-anime comparison I never thought I’d make.

“…what appears to be a hiker…” (or maybe it was multiple hikers…?)

Did you notice Akutagawa was missing his coat?

“Fancy hat boy” – That’s why the fandom calls Chuuya “Mr Fancy Hat”, LOL.

One thing’s for sure – whether you like BSD or not, you gotta admit they have a great sense of closure.

Shield Hero 25 (FINAL)

See? There is a Meteor move for Naofumi!

Raphtalia’s mostly been saying nothing but “Naofumi-sama” over and over again…it kind of irks me. It’s too bad I’m almost finished with this show.

I’m gussing the reward has to do with Raphtalia’s village.

Is Naofumi leaving???

LOL, before Naofumi faced the Waves, he was wavering…geddit??? (Oh, that joke’s terrible…)

Fruits Basket 12

I think Shigure attended the ceremony to procrastinate on his writing…LOL.

Okay…I started this episode a few days back and now I hav a bowl of piping hot pho to go with it! Let’s get back to business!

Momiji is a scheming little brat, ain’t he?

The “Yuki wearing a girls’ uniform” was funny…because reactions.

Hmm…even though I know what’s going to happen, I only just realised Akito and Yuki only seem to wear traditional Japanese dress when tied down to their curse or their main house. Westrn cloths thereby symbolise progress for them…but you can’t say the same for Shigure, though, so there goes that hypothesis…

I thought for a second they were going to play baseball…that’s what they did in Star Driver.

Fruits Basket 13

Snake attack!!!

Hmm…Ayame clearly used a convo diversionary tactic there (avoiding the topic).

“Aya says he sells men’s dreams.” – LOL.

Demon Slayer 13

I find it interesting Tanjiro also has respect for his opponent, not just empathy.

Aww…this message of recognising your skills and having them be recognised by others is cute. I needd that, really – ever since about a year ago, sometimes I’m so negative I just want to be erased from the face of the earth. That’s why I love Rokuhoudou so much – it was my solace from such thoughts.

Seeing the eyecatch’s strip go vertical for Zenitsu was interesting – I didn’t think it would change orientation midway through the show.

Okay, in this book I read recently – Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin – the protagonist admits to having “an overdeveloped sense of theatricality”…or dramaticism or something like that. I now realised Zenitsu has that too…although now he’s back to bugging me as a result.

Oh! So Inosuke was the 5th survivor! I had a feeling that would be the answer, but now I’ve confirmed it.

WHOA! I’ve never seen Tanjiro go all Papa Bear like this!

…and you can tell with that pre-OP shot that Ufotable ran out of budget for once.

The Legend of the Eight Samurai is also known as…wait for it…Hakkenden! There’s an anime called that, y’know? Update: It’s Satomi Nansou Hakkenden vs Hakkenden (with some subtitle on it).

To the Abandoned Sacred Beasts 1

First anime of summer! Now if only my CR would stop buffering so much…I’d be a happy person.

Oh…great. Fantasy information dump right here…just like Fairy Gone.

Is this weird that I recognise Patria to be…Korea? (At least in history. Its people seem to be generic Europeans.)

Is this a “dudes in war are scarred for life” thing again??? Please, please don’t let this be another Spec-Ops Asuka.

…and now here come the furries. (sarcastic)

Aren’t the white coats really impractical for battle???

If Cain isn’t a vampire or based on a bat…I dunno what I’d do, but I’m pretty sure he is, based on those pretty boy features.

I thought her name was Nancy…? Her name is Nancy Schaal Bancroft, after all.

Ooh! It’s the Abominable Walrus! I’m so scared~! (mocking tone)

This is basically an AI story, but fantasy-based, isn’t it…?

90s fire in the background…LOL.

“I’m going to ask Elaine to be with me.” – Now there’s something I didn’t think Hank would say.

LOL, Cain Madhouse really is mad! (in the Joker-style “insane” sort of way)

Well…uh, it was a bit predictable, but had its perks. I mean, there’s no CGI in it at all for one thing…I guess we wait for more (of this show and the debut of other shows) to see if it stays.

OPM S2 Ep 12 (Ep 24) (FINAL)

Shouldn’t that be “whale on an opponent”…?

What’s up with the montage, though???

*dead Centichoro* - Now that’s what I call “legs for miles”…! (LOL)

Astra 1

I’ve read some of the manga for this, so it’s my most anticipated anime this season! I can only hope it lives up to its own hype.

Double-length 1st episode! Ooh! Just like the manga’s double-length debut.

Okay, who decided on using CGI for Aries? Put it on the ship, not on her!

Oh, foreshadowing! Me likey.

I can’t really tell what Aries is meant to be screaming because she’s screaming over the woman, but it’s definitely not “beef” Aries is yelling.

Is it just me, or is there a frame around this scene at the Spaceport…?

I guess Aries is what they call a space case! (Wahaha!...Okay, I think that’s one stupid joke too many, now.)

Boob shot??? Why??? Also, according to the manga’s supplemental material found between chapters, Yun-Hua’s suit is newer than Aries’s (IIRC).

I definitely do not remember seeing a picture of Kanata’s sensei in the manga at all. I know Kanata refers to his sensei quite a bit, but…hmm…maybe the fact he looks like Charce means something. Update: For some reason, I remembered Charce as “Charles”…?

This scenery, with the ground making platforms in the air, looks like Dr Stone!!!

I just noticed the frame expanded after Kanata entered the sphere.

Did we need the flashback again???

Zetsubou is “despair”, at least from the way I learnt it – from Sayonara, Zetsubou-sensei, of course. It can be translated as “hopeless” in context, though.

Second recap from earlier in the episode. Well, at least it’s not Detective Conan or Demon Slayer bad…

Wow, they’re really trying to sell a potential Kanata x Aries ship here. That wasn’t in the manga either.

This is the 3rd time for the same recap…geesh. The things you notice when the episodes are compiled and online for you to watch…they can get kind of annoying.

I think the star = planet thing makes more sense when in Japanese, since “hoshi” can mean both. In English, it makes Aries sound like more of a space case…

Maou-sama, Retry! 1

…and the award for Most Boring Opening in a While goes to…this show!

I almost expected blonde!Rem to be called Rem…I knew that her name wasn’t Rem, but still…

Seriously? The face game of this show should be higher for it to pull off a gag involving funny faces…

The run cycle of this show’s…kinda suckish. Like Dororo’s one scene where he’s Naruto running.

“It’s you who is the root of all evil.”

UchiMusume 1

Aka “If It’s For My Daughter, I’d Even Defeat a Demon Lord”.

The language on the title card seems to be a substitute for English. If you just take that thing that looks like brackets as one symbol, that seems to be a Y. How can you tell? Because “little” matches the 3rd last word.

The devil language seems to be based on Japanese, though…at least from what I’m picking up. Update: Oh! So when she says “toilet”, it’s just the syllables backwards! Just like in Hataraku Maou-sama.

I swear, if this guy isn’t voiced by Yoshitsugu Matsuoka, I’m going to have to swallow my hydralyte drink properly! (I’ve been struggling to drink it all day today.) Update: Nope, it’s Nobuhiko Okamoto.

I thought I just read something on the devil list that said “Bobble Space” in English…wuh?

Dr Stone 1

This is my 2nd most anticipated debut of the summer 2019 season. Let’s go!

Ooh, I see Crunchyroll even got themselves a fancy new intro card…which makes them more like what Funimation used to be on that front…

I know people have been comparing Senku’s hair to green onions…and now I can’t unsee it. Dang it, you guys! That’s the first real thought I’m having for this anime?!

*raises arms like Christ the Redeemer*…and Boichi and Riichiro Inagaki said, “Let there be light!”…and for some reason, it was green light…

Hmm…I thought in the manga Yuzuriha was shoved to the tree, which made Taiju look more like a hero to her. Turns out she ran to the tree then got petrified, if the anime is anything to go by.

I heard a really accurate “what’s happening?” in the scene which is meant to have English speakers in it…it’s almost creepy, to be honest with you.

Shuei…LOL. It’s clearly a play on Shueisha.

I didn’t think of this when reading the manga, but this anime’s very much a Holmes and Watson scenario…although Watson here is a little bit too dumb for some people’s liking…

I swear TMS used pictures of the real thing when looking at those grapes…

I love seeing Senku being pissed off. He’s so smug all the time, I needed that change of pace.

Maybe one day Senku will make vodka…LOL. I’m kidding.

Fire Force 1

Oh geesh…so Ohkubo grabbed the Aria from Ao no Exorcist to make his nuns work???

Why is there Naruto running???

“I’m a newly-assigned…”

Kyoukai means church. Does it really mean “cathedral” as well???

“Is that the scent of a damp woman?” – Uh, duuuuuuuude? Excuse-moi? That is not how you treat a lady you’ve just met…!

Can I insert a “Twinkletoes” comment from Toph (Avatar) yet…?

Okay, scrap that. Can I do that Overwatch “Molten CORE!” thing instead…?

Granbelm 1

I started watching this because it’s being promoted as “magical girls drive mechs”.

One of the mech ladies reminds me of…what’s her name…from the Re:Zero LNs…I believe her name is Beatrice, but that’s the name of one of the library loli, isn’t it…? *Googles* Okay, her name is Priscilla. AFAIK, “Priscilla” is NOT the name of the orange-haired lady in Granbelm, though… Update: Her name is Anna, actually.

These mechs remind me of Kim from Twinkle Star Sprites.

Wow…ripoff purple iPhone, much…?

Shingetsu = new moon, mangetsu = full moon.

I feel like Mangetsu is a relatable protagonist, but also annoying as a result of being relatable.

“Pennies from heaven” is a phrase you say to declare your good fortune, much like you say “speak of the devil” for bad luck when it comes to a certain person who arrives at the wrong time.

[honey-g1rl]

Fake Date!AU Lucas

a/n: i’ve been meaning to write this for a while now and i finally got around to it. i love my boy wong yukhei so i decided to write this. this is also my first bullet point scenario so :D please spare me warnings: angst(ish), cursing, this is also fairly long (゜▽゜;) uhmmmm i think that’s it???

the first time lucas asked you to fake date him, you were like

“lucas, don’t be ridiculous. why do you even want to fake date?”

the thing was, you and lucas had been best friends since high school

you understood him 

and although he could be annoying at times

you still loved him, as a best friend of course

you soon found out after that lucas’ girlfriend, ara, had cheated on him

and to get back at her, lucas wanted to fake date you

to show her that he was fine and could move on

out of all the girls that lucas had dated, she was one that lucas was most serious about

so it came as a shock when you heard the news

but you weren’t too sure about the whole fake date thing

cause what if it ruined your friendship with the boy?

but lucas was persistent

“if you were truly my best friend, you’d do this for me, y/n”

you sighed at him before giving him a glare

you knew that he was heartbroken

and you actually hated what ara had done as well

cause lucas was so good to her

“fine, but we need to set some ground rules”

lucas gave you the biggest smile before crushing your bones in a bear hug

“l-lucas, i can’t breathe with your giant ass holding me so tight”

“oh, sorry”

so there was basically a contract that you two had made

because lucas was popular on campus, you had to be around him at all times (not that you already weren’t)

and to make the relationship look more realistic

you two would have to have close pda

the thought, at first, made you nervous

the closest pda you and lucas ever had

was just hugging, that’s it

so for him to kiss you

and hold you in front of the public would be a strange feeling

lucas and you had agreed that the fake date would only be for a month

he wouldn’t make you do anything too serious

when news got around campus that you two had become a thing, there were a few mixed reactions

some people had figured it was about time you two would’ve dated since you two had been friends for so long

others thought lucas was just using you to get over his ex, which was slightly true

when lucas and you had lunch with your close friends after classes, you two were bombarded with questions

“you two are really dating?” johnny eyed you both suspiciously

“about time” ten stated

“i don’t believe this. lucas wouldn’t just get over ara this quickly.” doyoung spoke

doyoung was always quick witted, something that you hated about him sometimes

“we’re fake dating” lucas told them nonchalantly

“but you guys better not say a word about this” he warned them

after explaining lucas’ revenge plan, the boys sat silently in shock

they didn’t know what to say, as they feared the end of this revenge would only bring you a heartache

“be careful, y/n” johnny told you one day as you two walked to class

you were ????????????

was he scared of you falling for lucas?

you???? falling for lucas???? never

the most cliche of all stories was falling for your best friend

two weeks had passed since you and lucas had agreed to fake date

he would hold your hand in public

kiss your cheek, hold you close, when ara was around

he would take you on actual dates, though

which wasn’t part of the contract

but lucas wanted to do it anyways

cause he didn’t want you to feel like he was just using you

you never knew that lucas could be such a r o m a n t i c

he would give you your favorite flower every single morning

hand you a snack after every class

made sure you slept well

picked you up from your job at the cafe when you closed at night

texted you ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’

and before you knew it

you fell for the boy

it took you a while to realize it at first

but when you saw lucas with ara one day

there was a bitter feeling in your chest

and you could feel your heart beating hard

when lucas saw you 

he walked to you and kissed your cheek

causing butterflies to form

and your heart triple flipped in joy

‘aw shit’ you thought

you could see the anger in ara’s eyes before she stomped away

after that incident, anything that lucas did - no matter how small it was

caused your heart to jump in bliss

you knew you had to be careful around him now

there was a frat party going on tonight

and lucas wanted you to be there

you caught yourself trying to look your best for him

i mean, after all you were his fake girlfriend

when you had gotten to the party, you got a few whistles from the boys

“why are you looking so pretty today, y/n?” johnny wiggled his brows at you

you punched his arm, chuckling, before going to grab a drink

you ran into ten, who looked quite tense when he saw you

“why do you look so pale?”

“n-nothing, let’s go see the others”

and then he dragged you to where doyoung and johnny were

you were going to find lucas but ten had insisted that lucas would come find you first

so you stayed with the boys

until two hours had passed and lucas was nowhere to be found

“i’m going to look for lucas” you announced as you began looking around the frat house

ten slightly panicked, telling you to stay

“what’s wrong with you, ten?” doyoung noticed the change in the boy’s behavior

“i’m fine” he squeaked

“you know you suck at lying, right?” johnny pointed out

you folded your arms in front of your chest, staring at ten

“spill it” you told him

ten looked at you, then looked back and forth between the other two boys

“ten, would you just say it?” you snapped

did something happen to lucas?

why wasn’t ten telling you anything?

“okay fine!” he broke from feeling the pressure

“isawlucasgoingintoaroomwithara”

doyoung rolled his eyes at the boy

“no one understood what you just said”

“i said i sAW LUCAS GOING INTO A ROOM WITH ARA AND I DON’T THINK Y/N SHOULD GO LOOK FOR HIM” ten practically yelled in panic

you felt your heart drop into the pit of your gut

“does that mean they’re getting back together?” johnny questioned

“after she cheated on him? is he stupid?” doyoung asked incredulously

“y/n” ten looked at you carefully

you felt an uncomfortable lump form in the back of your throat

“i’m going to look for him” you say, even though you knew it wasn’t the best idea

you were angry 

but more sad than angry as you searched through all the rooms for lucas

the boys followed you, in attempt to stop you

but you wanted to see lucas and ara together for yourself

when you reached the last door at the end of the hallway on the second floor

you hesitated before going in

opening the door, you heard a gasp behind you, realizing that it was ten

you could literally feel your heart shatter into tiny pieces as you saw lucas and ara together

lucas’ eyes widened when he saw you at the door

“y-y/n” he pulled the bed sheet cover over his body

you don’t really remember what happened after that

everything was a blur

hot tears were running down your face as your mind ran a million miles at once

your chest hurt so much that you had to physically stop halfway down the stairs

when you were halfway across the lawn, you heard lucas behind you

“wait, y/n!” he grabbed you by the arm

“don’t touch me” you hissed

you glared at him through your teary orbs

“you said you wanted revenge.” you told him “you never said anything about hooking up with her, lucas.”

he ran his hand through his hair in distress

the boys were right behind him as they felt nervous

“you know i love her” he whispered

“after she cheated on you?” you nearly yelled, more tears falling

you harshly rubbed them away, not caring if your makeup was blotchy at this point

“are you stupid?! wake up, lucas! if she cheated on you once, she won’t hesitate to do it again!”

lucas shook his head

“you wouldn’t understand” he told you

“would you just listen to yourself?” doyoung butted in

he couldn’t watch lucas do this to himself anymore

“you’re not thinking clearly anymore” doyoung stated

“stay out of this” lucas warned

you let out a laugh as you shook your head in disbelief

“it hasn’t even been a month yet” you said “and you’re already running back to her”

“she’s different. you know how much she means to me, y/n”

you scoffed, feeling your blood boil in anger

“then what the hell have we been doing for the past four weeks?” you yelled

“your plan was to get revenge, not sleep with her! you will really go this low just to get back with that bitch?”

“what is your problem?” lucas furrowed his brows as he raised his voice, something that he rarely did to you

“yes, i know i’m stupid for going back to her. yes, i know i’m madly in love with her even when she did me wrong. but that doesn’t change how i feel for her!” he shouted

with every word that he said, he took a step closer to you

“what do you know when you’ve never been in love before?” lucas spat

it was true, now that you thought about it

you had never been in a serious relationship before

and when lucas came along into your life, you couldn’t find yourself liking anyone else

your vision blurred as you felt another round of hot tears form

“i loved you” you told him

it was merely a whisper but he had heard you

lucas felt a heavy lump in his throat, taking a step back

“i...” he paused momentarily “i can’t return the feelings”

you felt as if your heart stopped

you felt nauseous and your head throbbed

and everything terrible that could come with having a broken heart, you felt it all 

“loving you was the biggest mistake” your voice broke

lucas noticed the way your voice wavered 

and the way your eyes glistened in pain

doyoung pushed past him

and put a hand around you

“let’s go, y/n” he softly said

and that was the last time you spoke to lucas

news had gotten out that lucas was back with ara

which wasn’t a surprise to you

you avoided the boy whenever you got the chance

every little thing that reminded you of lucas, you tried to erase it from your life

the boys knew that you were heart broken

you spoke less

you were less excited about things that you used to love

you just weren’t yourself anymore

and the boys so desperately wanted you to be happy

so after a couple weeks passed, johnny decided to introduce taeyong to you

he was a mutual friend and you had seen him a couple times on campus

he was a handsome boy with a chiseled chin and brown doe-like eyes

his hair was a blazing red, something that caught other’s attention often

taeyong was quite different from lucas

he was soft and quiet and treated you like glass

despite his cold looking exterior, you learned that he was very kind hearted

he had a charm to him that lucas didn’t have

and he treated your heart with care

after three months of trying to forget lucas, you finally decided to give taeyong a chance

you were out on a date with him when a familiar figure caught your eye across the street

it was lucas

and your heart began to swell

you were about to walk away when you saw ara

next to another man

you couldn’t help but scoff

you could hear lucas shouting in anger a mile away

the man that ara was with shouted back

and then things got out of hand

you saw him push lucas away before throwing a punch

you felt anxious as you realized how close lucas was standing on the edge of the sidewalk

before you could even predict what could happen next

lucas lost his balance 

and fell onto the main road

your feet were running towards him before your mind could even process what was happening

but before you could even reach him

a car was speeding towards the boy

and you screamed at lucas to get out of the way

taeyong ran after you, pulling you back to safety

you tried to fight your way out of his grasp

but when you heard glass shatter and the sound of a body hitting metal

your breath stopped

you cried in terror when you saw the blood

there was so, so much blood

your breathing became uneven 

and the world began to spin faster

and taeyong had to calm you down

but how could you?

when the boy you loved was nearly dying

taeyong held you when you both were waiting in the ER

you were absolutely hysterical

tears never ending as you sobbed and became more worried by the second

johnny, doyoung and ten came rushing in 

asking what had happened

after hours had passed, the doctor finally came out

explaining that although lucas had lost a lot of blood and fractured a few ribs and broke other bones

he would be okay

but he was unconscious for the time being

and you never left his side

and that was when taeyong realized that you still loved lucas

“i want you to be happy.” he told you one day, “and if it’s with lucas... i’ll let you go”

you felt terrible for taeyong

he was the sweetest person you had been with

and you wanted nothing but for him to find someone who would love him the way he deserved to be loved

lucas was surprised to see you when he woke up

“what are you doing here?” he asked

“are you okay? how could you be so stupid? fighting at the edge of the sidewalk? did you lose a few brain cells or what? how could you lose your temper like that? you almost died, you asshat!” you cried at him

lucas only chuckled at you

“it’s not funny!” you slightly punched his arm

but regretted it immediately when he groaned in pain

“hey! i’m a patient here!” he whined

“that’s what you get for being a dumb ass!” you argued, sniffling

lucas laughed again before feeling a sharp pain in his chest

“don’t make me laugh. everything hurts” he groaned

“you deserve it anyways” you told him

lucas pouted slightly, making you chuckle

even though you two hadn’t talked in months, it was as if you two had never stopped in the first place

his eyes softened as he looked at you

“i missed you” he whispered “a lot”

“lucas...”

“no, let me finish” he interrupted

“i was so miserable after that night. ara and i had problems every single day. i lost my trust in her ever since she cheated on me and she called me obsessive for wanting to know where she was every time she went out.”

lucas scowled weakly at you

“every time i was with her, i realized what she was nothing like you. she wasn’t as kind as you. not as pretty as you. she complained too much about the littlest thing. she just wasn’t you. but i knew i couldn’t get you back. not after what i had said to you...”

silence engulfed the room for a moment

“you never lost me in the first place” you whispered

lucas reached for your hand 

and you intertwined your fingers with his

“i’m so stupid. how could i let someone like you go?” he sighed as he squeezed your hand

your heart ached for him

you wanted to hug him and kiss him

and that’s when you realized how much you still loved him

it was crazy but you couldn’t imagine loving anyone else besides him

“i’m sorry for hurting you. i’m sorry for disappointing you.” he softly spoke. “forgive me?”

you gently smiled at him

“you know i couldn’t stay mad at you anyways”

lucas felt his heart jump and smiled that smile you loved

“can i kiss you?” he asked

you laughed before capturing his lips with your own

and he snaked his arm around your waist, bringing you closer

you could feel his warmth radiating 

and completely melted into him

lucas pulled back

looking at you with stars in his eyes

“you know you’re stuck with me for life now, right?” he asked

you laughed before answering,” oh god, a lifetime with the lucas wong? doesn’t sound too bad.”

lucas grinned at your words

“i love you, y/n”

“i love you, too”

“i love you more though”

you rolled your eyes at him

“well you are stuck with me for life now”

lucas chuckled at you before motioning for you to lay down next to him

“the bed isn’t going to fit us both, lucas. you’re a giant.”

“we can make it work” he whined

so you laid down next to him

and bathed in his warmth

lucas’ heart felt content

and he knew he would never let you go

[mentalcurls]

7. Ho fatto un casino

It’s been almost a week but here I am, back with my thoughts on episode 7 of the 1st season of Skam Italia. I talk about being calm and cool and chill, about toxic masculinity and the parallelisms between Silvia and Eva. The results for the Bechdel test for this episode are at the end as usual. Enjoy!

the episode starts on the most lovely note: the girls, alone, having a conversation about about a really interesting, engaging and thought-provoking topic *drumroll* the Villa guys. Yay.

the silence of the girlsquad while Silvia talk about Formentera, the perplexed stares

Eleonora is holding back from commenting so hard! Her “What are you doing with that sandwich?” is a bit judge-y, sure, but not as judge-y as the instinctive “What are doing destroying that poor sandwich?” I would have gone for

that fake nonchalance from Silvia! She’s being low maintenance! She doesn’t need to talk, it’s cool that the guy she likes made out with another girl, it’s fine! She didn’t take it badly, “ti pare”?

IDK why but I love Ele looking back towards Eva to look for confirmation and support when Silvia seems not to know what she’s talking about

Silvia is cool as a cucumber and just casually piling on justification upon justification and diverting the conversation as far from Edoardo as possible

she’s so casual!!! She made out with someone while she was so drunk she can’t even remember who it was and it’s whatever!! Chill!!!

and to continue the streak of super casual, nonchalant people, here’s Eva asking about Federico, just out of innocent curiosity, you know

that thank you kiss (that goes on for nearly 20 seconds) is completely chill as well

Gio: promises Eva 2am crepes also Gio: actually only ever brings Eva coffee from a vending machine that he only got because the machine ate his money in the first place

Eva casually asking Gio where he is going with his friends, despite complaining a lot in previous episodes about said friends and the person Gio becomes when he’s with them: not out of character at all, Gio won’t notice anything! She’s suave!

cue Gio noticing, but being too kiss drunk and letting himself be convinced (and oh how the tables have turned! This is some mild gaslighting from Eva!)

super casual, super smooth public declarations of love

and then Federica, cool as anything, asking about Marti’s relationship status

this clip was titled “Il panico” and I love this title so much. I would have gone for something like “And everyone was chill” but this antiphrasis-cum-Silvia-quote is pretty good too 

going back a second, Marti’s face while Gio and Eva kiss! He’s awkward and avoiding looking at them exactly like the other girls, but there’s so much annoyance there too! We’ve already seen him break up at least one of their kisses (first clip with the “A zozzoni!”) and I bet he’d totally pull an Ammucchiate!Niccolò here if he thought he could get away with it

that pool is a really cool place, I really want Marti to take Nico there at some point cause it fits his aesthetic for romantic places perfectly

how smooth, how suave of Gio to lose control of his skateboard and end up falling on his ass in the mud 

Marti’s hair! It’s tremendous! Baby, cut it please, I’m begging you (AND I KNOW THIS IS AN UNPOPULAR OPINION OK but you can’t deny he needs a bit of order on that head)

M: “I see things are going better” E: “Yeah, [...] everything is fine” COOL AS CUCUMBERS, the both of them. The fake nonchalance. The facade of chill.

then Eva swallows, takes a deep breath and it all comes crashing down

Eva is 100% talking to Marti instead of one of the girls because they would obviously tell her off for listening to a dumb boy’s advice and she’s scared they would turn on her for “making” another boy cheat like it happened with Laura over Gio, when in reality the girls would/will take her side both with the Federico/Alice situation and the Giovanni situation; on the other hand, she is convinced from their previous conversation Marti is on her side, she’s looking for validation of what she did when she took his advice despite feeling stupid for taking it herself, but she also wants someone who will tell her off for cheating on Gio, who maybe will fight her about it cause it’ll be cathartic, so Marti is the obvious choice of confidant here

and Marti is taken aback: I don’t think he expected Eva to actually go to Laura, Laura to actually tell the truth and most of all to cause such an earthquake with a half-assed line about going to the source

is Marti that concerned about Federica that he really thinks of her first when Eva tells him about kissing “Fede” or is he that unaware of what Eva’s social life has looked in the past few months and of the hierarchy at school? Both, I suspect. He’s a disaster.

“Hai capito” he’s so shook! He doesn’t know how to react! His mind starts going a million miles an hour

and again! He’s Gio’s best friend, he’d put himself in front of a bullet for Gio, but he makes it sound like he’s siding with Eva, like he’s giving advice based on what’s best for her and Eva believes him without a second thought! I just can’t with these kids. She even thanks him!

the shots focused on Gio skateboarding down in the pool are from both Eva and Marti’s point of view not only in the sense that they come from their position, where they’re sitting close to one another, but because they both see him in the same way: boyfriend material

what’s Silvia doing wearing that ugly jacket?? I mean she looks great anyways, but it’s so ugly and plasticky and it doesn’t compliment her figure at all??

and oh, this poor baby. She’s been so brainwashed into believing a) that she needs a man; b) that her self-worth lies in the social status of the man she’ll get herself; c) that men treating women like shit is par for the course and a sign they actually like them, they’re just being manly she just. Doesn’t. Get. It. Her first thought when Eva asks about Federico is that she likes him, not that she likes gossip, or that she needs blackmail to get rid of the guy who we know and the girls know has been hitting on her, despite knowing she has a boyfriend (which would have been my first thought tbh). She thinks that Edo’s silence is jealousy and she’s absolutely devastated when she finds out about the lows teenage boys can get to when it comes to status, sex and proving their masculinity

Eva and Silvia’s clothes have similar colors in this clip, but inverted (pink shirt and blue jacket for Silvia, blue t-shirt and red-purple shirt over it for Eva) which I think is significant: everyone knows Silvia’s been with Edo because she’s advertised it to be more popular, while Eva’s doing her best to prevent her story of her kiss with Fede from coming out, so the colors are inverted; at the same time, they are part of the same color families because Silvia and Eva have both “been” with one of the Villa boys and therefore they’re both on that wall and in both their cases there’s a third guy involved (Gio and Rocco Martucci); Eleonora on the other hand is in black, neutral.

and Ele calls the wall “posto di merda” and I couldn’t agree more: it is a sanctuary of sexism and misogyny, a place specifically created to celebrate the guys’ sexuality, while demeaning and ridiculing girls for theirs, along of course with other, “lesser” boys who are not in their circle and don’t have as much sex (in the Villa guys’ perception) as them or don’t get girls as hot as theirs: it’s obviously the new frontier of a classic of toxic masculinity, comparing dick sizes, with a dash more misogyny thrown in for good measure, and it’s public in a way notches on the bedframe (another great toxic masculinity classic) aren’t, since those are a twisted way of demonstrating how good you are in bed to women along with how you’re a casanova not looking for anything serious, the wall is a self-congratulatory group activity for the elite, accessible to anyone in theory, but unknown to most people; the only thing I have to say that’s even just vaguely positive about the wall compared to the Penetrators sweatshirts in the OG is that it’s less about “possession” of the girls, who are still objectified, but are not marked in an outward way to indicate they “belong” to a specific group or a specific member of the group

EVA, GUARDAMI EVA: why the fuck would you call him? You already know he won’t take you seriously, he’s never taken you seriously while talking to you face to face, why would he be any better on the phone!

Eva just really doesn’t know how to lie. She’s shit at it, with anybody. The only secrets she manages to keep are those who only require her to omit the truth without having to make up excuses: the only lie we see her successfully tell is about spending Easter with Sara and Laura, while was with Gio, and even then she kind of betrays herself later when she tells her mom her and Laura haven’t been talking much since they were put in different classes

I’ve been disproved! She successfully pretends Fede is her mom on the phone right then. Whoops.

cue Federico disregarding Eva’s requests and instructions because he’s a self-centered, sexually objectifying ass as usual and calling her and making fun of her

I don’t have much to say about the conversation between Gio and Eva on the couch, except that Gio is obviously avoiding the words “drug” and “marijuana” because he wants to ignore the potential addiction he has shown he could develop, that conversation in which people disagree on something important but them man distracts the woman by being silly always make me uncomfortable cause I feel he thinks her thoughts are valid and that Eva  must be feeling so shit when Gio tells her he’s decided to tell her everything and never lie AND IT’S BECAUSE OF MARTI who told her not to communicate with Gio

fully siding with Eleonora on the wedges discourse

so much sarcasm in that conversation at Baretto

Sana’s first response to Silvia, who treated her like shit and was racist towards her, is to repay her in brutal honesty, and it’s honestly cruel sometimes, but genius cause what can Silvia do or answer?

“Sticazzi degli altri” and this moment is so important! Everything the girls have been trying to teach Silvia in the past few months about self worth, confidence, about not giving too much weight to other people’s opinions and about feminism coagulates in this single moment for Silvia: she couldn’t be low-maintenance enough for Edoardo to keep her? Fine, now she’s gonna be fucking high maintenance and loud and proud and hand him his ass. 

except it’s all facade, she’s still a scared, naive girl who’s a bit of a pushover inside, so when she actually confronts her monster she caves immediately when the interaction doesn’t play out as she envisioned, and in the end she comes out of it destroyed and with the idea that being confident, proud etc. is only harmful for her social status

Silvia can’t even get Edo to listen at her! Not until one of the other girls arrives and calls him out

that “Ciao!” is the epitome of the fake confidence Silvia’s portraying, she’s trying to be cool and suave and destroy him like Ele or Sana would (and will)

and what an haphazard, unthreatening group the girlsquad looks when compared to the Villa guys, all in black, far taller, forming a more compact front, arms on shoulders, exchanging looks behind Edo

“If you think you can reduce me to an X on a wall” that would be bad enough! But even worse, Silvia is not even an X, she’s not even on Edo’s radar enough for him to know her name, despite her giving him her first time!

Silvia is a cautionary tale for teaching girls about consent too, both because of how she handled the sex with Edo and making out with Martucci, and conversely because despite all the signals and implied messages from Edo telling her no, that he’s not interested in her, she still continues to go after him

and like, I said before that I got why Edoardo is doing this, but he’s such an ASSHOLE about it, I wanna punch him in the face so bad

he throws her off straight away, pretending he doesn’t know what she’s talking about (Silvia should have predicted that, really, as I said before, it’s an ELITE thing, not many people are supposed to know about it so why would Edo acknowledge that something exists, that he knows anything about it and that it’s a secret Silvia has been allowed into too?

then he interrupts her! And I don’t think I need to say anything more about manterrupting than what has already been said

Silvia is completely frozen. This is the man of her dreams. She had sex with him. Only a little over a week earlier. The entire world crashes down on her. He doesn’t seem to remember her at all.

and after confusing her, breaking her heart, disproving her theory, treating her like a child and humiliating her, Edo just has to dig a bit deeper still and mock her

re: Ele’s roast, I’m just gonna 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

the girls though: while Edo is talking to Silvia, Sana and Ele are simmering with barely contained rage, while Fede is as chided as Silvia is and Eva is worried about Silvia, but also about Federico, I bet she was checking what he was doing out of the corner of her eye for the whole conversation; then when Ele talks, and afterwards, while they leave, their bearing completely changes, they stand up straighter, their chins are high and they leave with nonchalance and an air of superiority

Giovanni complaining about not answering perfectly a particularly hard question he was asked in a test is such a classico mood though

Eva is so cute, being worried for Silvia and checking in on her

Alice has anger management issues obviously, but I stan Mr Boccia’s female colleague who is an impressive example of female solidarity and  teaching the right messages, even if her methods are not very conventional of pedagogically great; basically the whole PE department in this school is 💯

and then there’s the fight: Alice arrives with a group of friends, like a proper ambush; I love killer Sana with the dictionary, that poor girls on the other end of things will have some very nasty bruises; all the girls get in the fray, even Silvia and they form a shield behind which they hide Eva

Ele is super interesting to me here: she’s in proper boxer stance, like she knows how to fight, and she probably does, doesn’t she? What with being a beautiful girl in a big city in a sexist world and what with Filippo being her brother and gay and flamboyant and probably getting bullied when they were both younger. On top of this, as soon as Alice calls Eva “troia” she gets mad as a hornet ‘cause she just can’t stand people who use the derogatory terms that condemn women simply on the basis of how much sex they’ve had and stigmatize sex workers, especially when it’s women against other women (see also ep.1 with Laura calling Eva “puttana”)

and after that, much as she won’t believe it, Silvia’s moment with Edoardo is forgotten; more importantly, though, Alice and Federico’s fight during PE is forgotten, as is the fact that this situation is his fault since he cheated; no, the thing that lasts in people’s mind is the catfight between girls outside the school gate and how that redhead from 3B is a whore

Bechdel test: this episode doesn’t pass the Bechdel test. I’ve thought quite a bit about it, because there are technically two conversation that pass the test: one while the girls are at Baretto, in which they talk about Fede’s pink wedge shoes, but I decided not to count it just like I didn’t count the conversation on the windowsill about Margot in the last episode, cause it fades in and the topic changes after just a few seconds; the other immediately follows and it consists of Silvia telling the others she got 7 in Maths and that she found the ananas cake on a website: I decided not to count this one because it almost completely one-sided and Silvia starts talking about Edoardo the very next minute.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1.  If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

[asterinjapan]

Red is the color

Good evening again!

It’s starting to cool down a little here in the Kansai region, which in practice means that we’re almost considering 35 C ‘cool’ now, pff. Apparently today is predicted to be actually worse in the Netherlands though, so good luck with that!

A slightly different report today, as my friend and I split ways in Kyoto.

I purposefully made that sound really dramatic, because it really wasn’t, haha. Here we go for a two-sided walk in Kyoto!

You see, my friend had decided to visit the famous Fushimi Inari Taisha before she was even sure she’d go to Japan this summer. It is very popular, after all: it was named the best trip in Japan for several years in a row, or something or another that they proudly proclaimed on a banner. So obviously, she couldn’t miss out on this on her first trip to Japan! And it truly is worth a visit. 

So first, we took the train to Kyoto. Theoretically you can take the JR Kyoto train or something, but why do that when you have a JR pass and take the shinkansen to be there in 15 minutes? Exactly. So, we hopped on the Kodama shinkansen (meaning ‘echo’) and zoomed over to Kyoto, where we had to transfer to the local Nara line. Luckily it had just arrived for us, so two stops later, we arrived at our destination: Inari station.

The station itself is already appropriately themed, in case you were still wondering why all those tourists were taking a local train through the outskirts of Kyoto: all the bars are red. The station itself is tiny, so there was quite a queue to leave it, but once outside, you’re immediately confronted with the biggest draw here. A giant red torii gate shimmering across the road, marking the entrance to the Grand Shrine of Fushimi Inari. It’s one of many, many of those gates, and I bet that if you ever saw a commercial for holidays in Japan, it’s one of the images they’ve used to lure you in. Inari is the name of the mountain as well as of the god of rice and business, and a miles long trail of red gates leads you all the way to the top. Those gates are bought by companies, families or private persons and inscribed with their names and the year of donation, which gets pretty funny when you start spotting very modern names like, Panasonic or something.

Obviously we first took a lot of pictures posing with the gates, although we also inevitably had pictures of fifty other people attempting the same. We followed the trail leading up through the forest, and then paused for a little to have some melon pan we’d bought beforehand. (Melon pan means melon bread, named so for its shape and not its taste. It’s pretty sweet bread, so naturally I’d convinced my friend this was something she absolutely had to try.) At this point though, I was looking up and saw the tons and tons of stairs that led all the way to the top of the mountain, whereas before it had only been an uphill road. I knew that was a tad too ambitious for me this week, so this is where my friend and I parted ways. She was going to make her way to the top of the mountain, while I was trailing back to take the train a few stops further ahead. We agreed to meet up at the entrance of the shrine by 2:30 and went our separate ways.

(Oh, and before you call me a weakling – I’ve already walked the entire trail twice before, so I can definitely do it, haha.)

As said, I walked back to the station, where the train arrived just as I reached the platform, so that was nice! I rode it for a whole 7 minutes to make my way to Momoyama station. It’s a tiny station, and there was no-one at the manned gate, which meant that I couldn’t show my JR pass to get out of the station. I had to ring a bell and then show my pass to a camera, pff.

Anyway, I got to go through and made my way to my new destination – Fushimi-Momoyama Castle! Yep, another castle. I actually didn’t know this one existed until a couple of months ago, when I’d downloaded an app to keep track of Japanese castles (because of course I had an app for that). I was browsing the Kyoto area to find a castle I’d never heard of before. That would be Fushimi Castle, or Fushimi-Momoyama Castle.

I’m not the only one who hadn’t heard of it before, because there was barely any signage, and the parking lot was so deserted I was starting to wonder if the area was even open. I saw some people walking in the distance, so I shrugged and walked on.

As it turns out, there’s a baseball field in this park as well, which gave me slight paranoia as our hotel got invaded last night by a huge group of baseball players. This morning, we had to wait out 4 elevators because all of them were full of said baseball players, so I was getting kinda twitchy at the mention of the sport, haha. (Turns out there’s a high school championship going on at the Koshien stadium in the next prefecture over, so maybe they’re just here for that and I can spot them on TV. There’s a lot of baseball on TV this week, so…)

No matter the baseball though, because a huge entrance gate suddenly showed up in between the trees. The castle grounds were open, although the castle itself is closed and there are warning signs that you shouldn’t get too close in case of falling debris. You see, Fushimi Castle has a bit of an unfortunate history. The current construction dates back to the 1960s: the original castle was intended to be the retirement home for Toyotomi Hideyoshi, a famous war lord and one of the unifiers of Japan. Fushimi Castle was furnished beautifully unlike other castles, since it was supposed to be a home instead of a defensive structure, and it was famous for its golden tea room. Alas, within two years an earthquake destroyed the castle. It was rebuilt, but it played a pivotal role in what turned out to be decisive battle in Japanese history, after which it quickly got dismantled again. Parts of the castle were then used in temples around Kyoto. (Fun fact: these temples used the floor boards of Fushimi Castle as their ceilings. A big group of samurai had committed ritual suicide after the last battle and their blood stains (including a bloody hand print) can still be seen on those ceilings even now. Sweet dreams tonight! Hey, I did say red is the color for today…)

Anyway, the former site of the castle is now sacred ground as the tomb of Emperor Meiji rests here and cannot be entered. The castle itself was rebuilt a little further ahead as a museum in the 1960s and served as a part of a theme park called ‘Castle Land’, but it was closed in 2003. The castle remains closed to this day, but the area is accessible and so you can just wander around in the park like area and take a bunch of photos as you please. And it’s super quiet! It’s a stark contrast to Fushimi Inari Taisha, as I spent quite a while here and saw maybe 10 other people in total, tops, including a father and a son who seemed more preoccupied catching bugs than looking at the castle, haha.

The skies turned blue after a while, allowing me to take some very nice shots. The castle probably looked better in the past: one of the giant fish on top was missing, and some roof tiles were sliding off, so I can imagine it can be dangerous to get too close.

Still, though, I really liked this detour. I actually planned on seeing the original site for as much as possible, but I got distracted by a plate for a different tomb/mausoleum: that of Emperor Kanmu, who ruled at the end of the 8th century and was the one who moved the capital city to Kyoto (Heian back in the days), where it would remain for over a thousand years until the capital eventually moved to Tokyo in 1868.

Although the first few dozen of emperors of Japan cannot be proven, Kanmu has been verified to have actually existed, so I was pretty excited to be this close to such an old part of history. Even if all there was to see was a stone torii gate in the distance, marking the entrance to the tomb. Sacred grounds, you see…

I didn’t stick around for very long, but it was an interesting little side step. Actually I met an older couple here, coming over from Osaka, who seemed very excited to find me here of all places and speaking Japanese to boot, haha. So that was a nice chance to practice my Japanese a little, which is not as atrocious as I was fearing, even if my vocabulary leaves a lot to be desired.

On my way back, I stumbled upon the Nogi Shrine, dedicated to general Nogi who took his own life after the funeral of Emperor Meiji in an ultimate gesture of loyalty. What a fun visit so far, huh… Anyway, it definitely felt like a much more modern shrine, with horse statues and some brick parts. I didn’t spend long here, but the shrine buildings were a nice change of pace during my return to Momoyama station. (I also stumbled upon a plaque warning for Japanese giant hornets, so after that I jumped out of my skin every time something even remotely resembling a flying insect came across me, haha.)  

As it turned out, my friend had returned from the mountain victorious as she’d made it to the top, and we arrived at almost exactly the same time at our meeting place. We browsed the souvenir stalls a bit before deciding to call it a day and headed back to Kyoto, where we exchanged our respective stories over drinks and took the shinkansen back to Shin-Osaka.

When we went out for dinner (omu rice! Rice covered in omelet, haha), it was 28 C outside! Gasp! That honestly felt cold to the touch, it’s incredible. Weather forecasts are consistently predicting 33-35 C for the upcoming week, which is still hot, but much more doable than 38+ C.

So we made plans for tomorrow and then went to our rooms, from which I’m typing this blog right now, haha.

Keeping tomorrow a surprise, but there won’t be any castles for once, wow! See you~

[shirlleycoyle]

Why Channel 37 Doesn’t Exist (And What It Has to Do With Aliens)

A version of this post originally appeared on Tedium, a twice-weekly newsletter that hunts for the end of the long tail.

I’m endlessly fascinated by stories of the quirks that were built into the TV system where the well-laid plans of the system simply fell apart because it was asked to do too many things.

Nearly five years ago, I wrote about one of them, the tale of how radio broadcasters were able to shoehorn an additional FM station into the radio because of the proximity of TV’s channel 6 to the rest of the radio feed.

So when I was informed that there was another oddity kinda like this involving the TV lineups, I decided I had to take a dive in.

It’s a tale that centers around channel 37, which was a giant block of static in most parts of the world during the 20th century.

The reason for that was simple: it couldn’t fend off its scientific competition.

1952

The year that the U.S. Federal Communications Commission opened up the television system to use UHF, or ultra high frequency signals. The practical effect of this addition of bandwidth was that the total number of potential TV stations increased dramatically, from 108 to 2,051, overnight. The first UHF applications were granted on July 11, 1952, according to The History of UHF Television, a site dedicated to the higher-frequency television offerings.

The radio telescope at the Vermillion River Observatory, near Danville, Illinois. Image: University of Illinois

The radio telescope that became a headache for the television industry

Within a 600-mile radius of the city of Danville, Illinois, population 31,246, are numerous major cities—among them Chicago, Detroit, Milwaukee, Atlanta, Minneapolis, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Toronto, and Washington, DC.

Nearly the entire length of the Mississippi River fits into that radius. If Danville was located just a little further to the east, the radius would also include Philadelphia and New York City. For all intents and purposes, a 600-mile radius from Eastern Illinois covers basically the entire East Coast except the state of Florida and the Northeast.

(Importantly to this story, New Jersey generally does not fall into this 600-mile radius.)

But there was something located in Danville that was important enough to scientists that they didn’t want to share it with anyone else.

And that thing was a 400-foot-wide radio telescope, operating along the 610 MHz frequency. It was something of a monster of astronomy at the time, operating 12 to 16 hours per day, and researchers at the University of Illinois aimed to keep it that way.

The research that led to the creation of the radio telescope was, basically, an accident—but a fundamental one that taught us more about the universe than we might have learned with a mere optical telescope.

In 1931, a radio engineer and Bell Laboratories employee named Karl Jansky was trying to uncover the source of static that was interfering with radio waves … and found it had an extraterrestrial source, particularly at the center in the Milky Way galaxy.

Jansky wasn’t an astronomer, but an engineer, and despite discovering a new field of astronomy, his position at Bell Labs did not allow him to pursue it further.

George Swenson of the University of Illinois, who helped build a radio telescope for the school. Image: National Radio Astronomy Observatory

But after World War II ended, others eventually did pursue radio astronomy, including George C. McVittie, a British cosmologist who built the astronomy department at the University of Illinois in the 1950s, and George Swenson, who helped to build the university’s radio telescope.

Speaking to the Royal Astronomical Society as part of an oral history in 1978, McVittie, who played a central role in the creation of the telescope, stated that the device was developed in the late 1950s with a goal of being cost effective:

Well, we wanted to build this parabolic cylinder. I sent George Swenson on a tour of radio astronomy outfits in the world, Australia, England and so on, and he came back with the idea of the parabolic cylinder, a fixed transit instrument that sweeps out the sky simply by the earth rotating. And we decided for engineering reasons that we could only build a really big one if we had a frequency round about 600 megahertz. Otherwise, the perfection of the reflector, if we went to a shorter wavelength, was not something that you could [do] by the acre, at least not at that time, which was the late 1950s. And so we picked upon this 610 megahertz band as the observing frequency. 

(The telescope was more expensive to maintain than to build, McVittie added.)

The area around the 610 MHz band has, over the years, gained a reputation as being important to scientific research because of its placement in the context of two other frequencies important to radio astronomy, 410 MHz and 1.4 GHz.

As space and astronomy writer Bob King of Universe Today put it in 2013: “Without it, radio astronomers would lose a key window in an otherwise continuous radio view of the sky. Imagine a 3-panel bay window with the middle pane painted black. Who wants THAT?”

There was just one problem—the sudden, high popularity of television made the general bandwidth area where the telescope operated, 608-614 MHz, a bit of a hot commodity. It was literally the spot where channel 37 was supposed to go—and broadcasters wanted access to that channel.

It threatened to cover up a key window.

18

The number of stations that had been allocated to use channel 37 in the U.S. in 1952, according to The History of UHF Television. One of those communities was Paterson, New Jersey, located within the New York City metro area—which is relevant to this story. In the end, no channel 37 actually ended up on the air in analog form in the U.S., though you may find a digital equivalent today thanks to differences in how signals are allocated.

Image: Patrick Tomasso/Unsplash

Why the existence of channel 37 became such a problem for scientists

At the time the University of Illinois had built out its radio telescope, television was still in its infancy, and not every TV could actually access UHF signals. But soon, UHF went from optional upgrade to standard feature on television sets, and that meant this radio telescope was in the way.

Fortunately for the scientists that relied on this telescope, they had the support of the global community. A meeting of the International Telecommunication Union in 1959 set aside a series of frequencies that were important for different scientific and technical uses. One of those frequencies was where channel 37 sat.

The University of Illinois, wanting to protect its radio telescope investment, went to the FCC basically immediately after the ITU meeting. In 1960, it asked that channel 37 be allocated to radio telescopes exclusively.

As McVittie recalled, fellow scientists considered the push to block out an entire television channel a big ask:

Most of our radio astronomy friends said, “Look here, you two, Swenson and McVittie, you are just crazy. Do you mean to say you are asking the American public to give up one television channel for science? Who ever heard of anything so absurd?” So we said, “Well, the channel isn’t being used.” “Yes, that’s true, it’s not being used very much but it is being used in the neighborhood of New York, and places like that.” So I said, “We’re not in the neighborhood of New York.” Anyway, we got laughed at.

The FCC disagreed with the university’s assessment, feeling that it was too early to make such a call. 

But just a couple of years later, stations were starting to call the FCC up for access to that specific station—particularly one directly outside of the antenna’s 600-mile radius, in New Jersey. (According to reports from the era, prospective broadcasters wanted to put a Spanish-language network in the spot.)

Because of FCC rules and limitations elsewhere, the city of Paterson had no other options to bring a TV station on air other than channel 37. But even with the channel being located hundreds of miles away and targeted at the New York City market, there was concern among scientists that even far-away interference could get in the way of scientific research.

The regulators, faced with a conflict that pitted a niche use case against a massive commercial windfall, tried to come up with a compromise. The compromise included:

No stations on channel 37 within a 600-mile radius of the antenna until at least 1968, allowing one specific scientist, McVittie, to complete a survey of radio star sources he was doing on the 610 MHz frequency.

No stations anywhere listed under channel 37 could air anything between midnight and 7 a.m. Keeping in mind time zones, this effectively would give McVittie four hours a night that were open to allowing for such research.

The FCC’s attempt to balance science and commerce was not well-accepted by said scientists, who took their story to the media.

The controversy was such that it appeared on the front page of The New York Times. Not the top, of course.

What initially was seen as an absurd ask, even a silly one, gained momentum among fellow scientists. A letter sent to the FCC in regards to the debate puts the passion around the conflict into focus: “The FCC Docket suggests an appalling lack of comprehension within the FCC of the nature and needs of radio astronomy and yet the Commission has power to cripple and perhaps even destroy radio astronomy.”

That’s from an October 1963 document from the FCC that announced the commission’s decision to bar the use of channel 37 in the U.S.—while encouraging its neighbors in Canada and Mexico to do the same.

(The FCC did defend itself against the observer’s claim, writing: “Assertions charging the Commission with a lack of comprehension of the nature and needs of radio astronomy and implications that the Commission might cripple and even destroy radio astronomy are unjustified and can not be supported by facts.”)

The FCC agreed to a 10-year moratorium on channel 37 being used, which eventually became permanent.

The fun part about this is that McVittie, who helped to set the wheels in motion for the blanket ban of channel 37 in the U.S., never learned exactly why the FCC made the decision to flip its mindset on this issue. He speculated that media attention put the issue in front of the average person, allowing for wide-scale public support to mount up in favor of radio astronomy:

Somehow the news got around that here was this new way of listening to little green men on Mars. This is what radio astronomy seemed to the ordinary public. And the FCC was preventing it from being developed in the United States. We got rumors, George particularly from friends he knew, that gradually a huge accumulation of letters arrived at the FCC, protesting against this nonsupport of this new science, whatever it was. And that this finally persuaded the FCC that they’d better give in. Nobody knows.

Fortunately, we have the document explaining its thinking, and the thinking was essentially this:

It is probable that channel 37 operations at Paterson, New Jersey would interfere with observations at Danville to a certain extent. Also, (since interference from different sources would probably not occur simultaneously) the situation would be complicated by interference from other channel 37 stations if auth­orized. Moreover, any interference which would exist, even though for only a small percentage of time, might occur at critical times in the observing process. To the extent that observation programs would be interfered with, the time of completing them might well be sub­stantially increased, so that a longer period of protection would be required to achieve the same results. 

In other words, the commission didn’t necessarily know how putting channel 37 on the dial was going to impact scientific research in the long run, so best not risk it.

Ultimately, channel 37 went completely unused throughout the analog era in much of North America as well as most other countries—with a handful of exceptions, particularly in the Caribbean countries of the Dominican Republic and Trinidad and Tobago. (Today, channel 37 technically can appear as an over-the-air digital channel, but it is usually a so-called “virtual channel,” allowing a network to be positioned there no matter its position in the spectrum.)

In the end, the scientists won.

2000

The year that the FCC allowed for the use of wireless medical telemetry services (a.k.a. devices that allow for the tracking of patient vitals, like heartbeat, wirelessly) on the same band as channel 37. “Despite existing constraints in these bands, this allocation is flexible enough to allow spectrum to be available for medical telemetry services in all locations while protecting radio astronomy and government operations currently operating in the allocated spectrum,” the commission said at the time. Despite occasional rumors that the spectrum would go unlicensed eventually, it has yet to happen.

The tale of channel 37 reflects one thing: Without resistance, a commercial use case will usurp a noncommercial use case for a given resource.

A 1963 op-ed in The Harvard Crimson put it best: “Because the communication industries try to send strong signals to all parts of the globe and radio astronomy tries to receive weak extra-terrestrial signals, the growth of these two fields must inevitably lead to conflict.”

Think about this in terms of other things that have nothing to do with astronomy, like the internet. A year or two ago, there was a big conflict involving who owned the .org top-level domain, with commercial interests attempting to hone in on something intended to support nonprofits. The only reason it didn’t happen, just like the Channel 37 saga, was because people in the world of nonprofits and technology came together to lobby against it.

Ultimately, in the case of channel 37, scientists were able to save a small sliver of what was mostly going to be otherwise used commercially. Perhaps it looked like static to everyone else—but it was worth fighting for.

Why Channel 37 Doesn’t Exist (And What It Has to Do With Aliens) syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[richincolor]

Group Discussion: Love, Hate & Other Filters

A searing #OwnVoices coming-of-age debut in which an Indian-American Muslim teen confronts Islamophobia and a reality she can neither explain nor escape–perfect for fans of Angie Thomas, Jacqueline Woodson, and Adam Silvera.

American-born seventeen-year-old Maya Aziz is torn between worlds. There’s the proper one her parents expect for their good Indian daughter: attending a college close to their suburban Chicago home, and being paired off with an older Muslim boy her mom deems “suitable.” And then there is the world of her dreams: going to film school and living in New York City—and maybe (just maybe) pursuing a boy she’s known from afar since grade school, a boy who’s finally falling into her orbit at school.

There’s also the real world, beyond Maya’s control. In the aftermath of a horrific crime perpetrated hundreds of miles away, her life is turned upside down. The community she’s known since birth becomes unrecognizable; neighbors and classmates alike are consumed with fear, bigotry, and hatred. Ultimately, Maya must find the strength within to determine where she truly belongs.

Review copy: ARC via publisher

Welcome to the Rich in Color discussion of Love, Hate & Other Filters. **Beware, there are some spoilers ahead.**

Crystal: There are so many reasons for me to love this book. Maya’s voice had me from the very beginning with the words, “Destiny sucks.” Her wry humor had me smiling so many times. Her passion for creating movies is also awesome.

Jessica: Seriously, what an opening line. Maya’s voice definitely grabs you from the get-go. I didn’t think of this until you brought it up, but the way Maya’s passion for filmmaking provides yet another lens for her life is fascinating. I’m looking at the cover (what a great cover), and what the title means is finally registering. I know, I’m a little slow on the uptake. Maya see her life through the filters of love, hate, and the narrative bent of filmmaking. And, on a meta level, the reader sees Maya’s life through her romance, the Islamophobia that harms her, and the snapshot moments of other people’s lives leading up to the terror attack and its aftermath. It really paints a complete picture.

Audrey: I agree, I really enjoyed Maya’s voice and the frequent camera/filmmaking references. Her little asides about how things would go if this were x sort of movie were fun. I really enjoy reading about characters who have passions that seep into many corners of their lives, and Maya’s habit of filming things was a great way to establish her character (and plot-relevant). Sometimes the best way to get to know a person is to dive deep into the things they geek out about, and Maya’s passion for filmmaking was a great way to get to know her.

Karimah: I liked Maya’s voice as well and agree with you Audrey that her “teen movie” asides were great. It gave us a great insight into who she is and how she sees the world, and I truly connected with her. I giggled a couple of times at some of her comments and loved that she had a great sense of who she truly at such a young age.

Crystal: Maya is facing several challenges because of family expectations. Her dreams do not exactly match up with their dreams for her. The love in the family is easy to see, but that doesn’t mean there is smooth sailing. In some ways it makes it even more difficult. It’s hard to go against the wishes of people who love you and want the best for you. I adored Maya’s aunt. If we all had a Hina in our lives, what a wonderful world it would be.

Jessica: I think what really grabbed my heart early on is Maya’s introduction of Hina, where she says that despite being so different, Hina and Maya’s mother are actually best friends. This really set the tone for me of how much love Maya had in her family. Her parents may have had very specific ideas and goals for Maya, but you knew that in the end, they would come to accept what made Maya happy — just like how Hina and Maya’s mother are best friends.

And of course, on the surface, Maya’s parents seem unreasonably strict, and Maya struggles against those restrictions. But when her parents shut down and rule out Maya’s dreams, not out of a desire to control her, but a desire to keep her safe in the aftermath of a terrible event, you can again tell that they do it out of love, even if they aren’t necessarily right. I think anyone – especially anyone from an immigrant background – can recognize that parental instinct, those warnings to keep your head down, do the safe thing, don’t stand out, stay safe. That really hit home for me.

Audrey: As an adult, when I’m reading YA, I often find myself torn between the parents and the teens. On the one hand, I totally get why Maya’s parents have those expectations for her and why they’re so upset when she springs her own desires on them; on the other hand, I sympathize with Maya wanting to forge a life outside of those expectations. Hina was a great character, not only because she often took Maya’s side, but because she established a model for Maya to follow. Hina is living proof that Maya can build a life that suits her while–someday–forging a more equal relationship with her parents.

I really empathized with Maya’s parents’ fears after the terrorist attack and how immediate the backlash was for their family. They remembered the Islamophbic outbursts of violence after the September 11, 2001, attacks, so of course their first instincts were to protect their daughter. While I wish they would have listened to Maya more, I can’t entirely fault them for their reaction.

Audrey: Were there any other characters you particularly liked besides Maya? I was very fond of Violet. She was close to everything I want my YA heroines to have in a best friend. She didn’t have as much screen time as I’d hoped, but I appreciate her support for Maya and how she cheered her on all the time.

Crystal: I totally loved Hina. Like Audrey said earlier, Hina proved that it was possible to carve out a life that fits your own dreams. She knew what she wanted and worked on maintaining relationships in spite of the hurdles.

Karimah: I liked Violet as well. I’m glad that she knew how to best support Maya in her budding relationship with Phil and was completely supportive of her after the terrorist attack. She was a great best friend for Maya and I love that she was written in such a manner. I also liked Phil as he was much deeper than the typical romantic lead. Usually the romantic lead is this idealized version the “popular hot guy” but he was actually the total opposite. I mean, the way Maya described him he seem attractive, but he had a secret himself and had the same family tension as Maya. He was also so sweet to Maya and supportive of her as well.

Crystal: The format of the book is a little unusual. Maya’s story is sequential, but it is interrupted with brief moments from another perspective. These interstitials (a new word for me) definitely add mystery and suspense. Some of them are also very unsettling. What did you think of this choice in the storytelling?

Jessica: At first, I was a little on the fence about it, because I knew where the story was going. I didn’t know how I felt about portraying someone about to commit a terrible crime. It was haunting and beautifully written, and definitely added a layer of suspense. It was, ahem, a great filter for the book. At the same time, I still am not sure how I feel about the portrayal of the terrorist in the aftermath (spoilers ahead, stop reading if you haven’t finished the book) — I guess, I’m always a little leery of narratives that show an abused child becoming a criminal when all too often, people who commit hate crimes are the privileged and angry, not the people who are most vulnerable in society. The terrorist had a mix of privilege and resentment, along with a terrible upbringing, so it’s certainly not a black-and-white narrative that I’d condemn. But it does unsettle me.

Anyway, that’s my long-winded way of saying, I think it added a lot to the book, while also shaking up my preconceptions about a lot of things.

Karimah: Since my WIP has interstitials (didn’t know that is what they were called) has them, I really enjoyed them. I felt like it gave us an insight into the terrorist’s mind as he leads up to the act. I like how they allowed us to connect to different people who were affected by the act as well. It brought the terror of the act, aside from how Maya’s family is affected, to life. However, like Jessica, I was a bit annoyed by the narrative of the abused child becoming a criminal. I felt like it was an “easy out” for the terrorist instead of being real with that he just had hate in his heart and a desire to cause destruction. I get it was trying to humanize him, but with so many terrorists of his ilk called “lone wolf” and humanized when Black and Brown victims of police are demonized, it hurt.

Audrey: The interstitials felt very cinematic for me. Maya’s the main character of this movie, if you will, so the camera mostly sticks with her, but the interstitials were brief cuts to the danger that had been building unbeknownst to her. That ramped up the tension for us as a viewer/reader, and then afterwards we got to see the truth unfold on the periphery while we stayed with Maya (because her story was the emotional center of the story). I think it was a fitting narrative device for this book.

But like you said, I was really disappointed that the abused child backstory showed up. Maybe I’m just bitter and angry and frustrated (hi, all of last year), but I’m entirely uninterested in any story trying to mitigate angry white men’s hateful actions, especially when we saw how much Maya and her family were hurt because of it.

Crystal: One last note about the romances. I had to smile with her first love interest. The actions were fairly innocent, but the descriptions were still quite sensual. The second romance was filled many roadblocks, but was a unique set of circumstances. It was complex and I also appreciated the ending that seemed very realistic. (Trying not to spoil too much here, but it’s not a fairy tale.)

Audrey: I thought it was great that Maya had two love interests and how both of those stories came to different conclusions. It was nice to see how messy feelings could get and how Maya tried to navigate both romantic options. (As a side bonus, I really liked the fact that the guys didn’t know about each other, so we didn’t have to endure any jealous posturing.) I’m really happy we got to see Maya exploring her feelings and sorting out what her heart really wanted.

Karimah: I really, really loved both romances because they were just so real and I feel that Maya handled both of them so well. She was honest with herself and her feelings and rightfully made the right call with her first romance and I loved the slow burn that was the second. It was refreshing that all of them were honest with each other and were able to talk through their issues. It’s so healthy and teens need to see what healthy relationships can look like. And I like that the end was more about Maya being in love with herself, standing up for herself, instead of a “happily ever after” with a significant other (sorry for the spoiler).

If you’ve already read Love, Hate & Other Filters, we’d love to hear your thoughts! If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet, we recommend you get it soon.

[arplis]

Arplis - News: The Ultimate Guide To Spring 2020 YA Books For Your TBR

The air is warming up and even if we’re in a world that looks unfamiliar, nature is doing what it’s meant to do this time of year: reemerging, reenergizing, and getting ready to bloom. In addition to nature, book season is also upon us, with a ton of amazing spring 2020 ya books to add to your TBR. Because of publishing shifting daily, some of the publication dates for the below books have changed. It is impossible to keep track of them all at this point, so if something interests you and it’s not publishing at the date listed, preorder the book and be surprised when it shows. The titles here include standalone titles, series books (marked in a *), books from well-known YA authors, debut authors, and books that’ll be blockbusters as well as quieter titles. Both fiction and nonfiction are represented. This list does not include comics. This collection of spring 2020 YA books isn’t comprehensive, but it’s pretty darn close. These titles were pulled from a variety of publisher catalogs, ranging from major publishers to smaller ones. Open up Goodreads or pull out your paper TBR and get ready to add some great new spring 2020 YA books to your list. Descriptions are from Amazon because this is a huge list, and I’ve but just started dipping my toe into these books myself. Spring 2020 YA Books For Your To-Be-Read List April 7 The Best Laid Plans by Cameron Lund It seemed like a good plan at first. What’s Up in YA? Newsletter Sign up for What's Up In YA? to receive all things young adult literature. Thank you for signing up! Keep an eye on your inbox. By signing up you agree to our terms of use When the only other virgin in her group of friends loses it at Keely’s own eighteenth birthday party, she’s inspired to take things into her own hands. She wants to have that experience too (well, not exactly like that–but with someone she trusts and actually likes), so she’s going to need to find the guy, and fast. Problem is, she’s known all the boys in her small high school forever, and it’s kinda hard to be into a guy when you watched him eat crayons in kindergarten. So she can’t believe her luck when she meets a ridiculously hot new guy named Dean. Not only does he look like he’s fallen out of a classic movie poster, but he drives a motorcycle, flirts with ease, and might actually be into her. But Dean’s already in college, and Keely is convinced he’ll drop her if he finds out how inexperienced she is. That’s when she talks herself into a new plan: her lifelong best friend, Andrew, would never hurt or betray her, and he’s clearly been with enough girls that he can show her the ropes before she goes all the way with Dean. Of course, the plan only works if Andrew and Keely stay friends–just friends–so things are about to get complicated. Cameron Lund’s delightful debut is a hilarious and heartfelt story of first loves, first friends, and first times–and how making them your own is all that really matters. The Burning by Laura Bates New school. Check. New town. Check. New last name. Check. Social media profiles? Deleted. Anna and her mother have moved hundreds of miles to put the past behind them. Anna hopes to make a fresh start and escape the harassment she’s been subjected to. But then rumors and whispers start, and Anna tries to ignore what is happening by immersing herself in a history project about Maggie, a local woman accused of witchcraft in the seventeenth century. In her newfound friendships with Alisha, Cat, and Robin, as well as her connection with Maggie, Anna finds a voice to face her tormentors. “We are the granddaughters of the witches you could not burn. And we’re not putting up with it anymore.” *Empire of Dreams by Rae Carson Red Sparkle Stone is a foundling orphan with an odd name, a veiled past, and a mark of magic in her hair. But finally—after years and years of running, of fighting—she is about to be adopted into the royal family by Empress Elisa herself. She’ll have a home, a family. Sixteen-year-old Red can hardly believe her luck. Then, in a stunning political masterstroke, the empress’s greatest rival blocks the adoption, and everything Red has worked for crumbles before her eyes. But Red is not about to let herself or the empress become a target again. Determined to prove her worth and protect her chosen family, she joins the Royal Guard, the world’s most elite fighting force. It’s no coincidence that someone wanted her to fail as a princess, though. Someone whose shadowy agenda puts everything—and everyone—she loves at risk. As danger closes in, it will be up to Red to save the empire. If she can survive recruitment year—something no woman has ever done before. Girl Crushed by Katie Heaney Before Quinn Ryan was in love with Jamie Rudawski, she loved Jamie Rudawski, who was her best friend. But when Jamie dumps Quinn a month before their senior year, Quinn is suddenly girlfriend-less and best friend-less. Enter a new crush: Ruby Ocampo, the gorgeous and rich lead singer of the popular band Sweets, who’s just broken up with her on-again, off-again boyfriend. Quinn’s always only wanted to be with Jamie, but if Jamie no longer wants to be with her, why can’t Quinn go all in on Ruby? But the closer Quinn grows to Ruby, the more she misses Jamie, and the more (she thinks) Jamie misses her. Who says your first love can’t be your second love, too? Golden Arm by Carl Deuker Lazarus “Laz” Weathers has always been shy, and his issue with stuttering when he speaks hasn’t helped. Stuck in a Seattle trailer park, Laz finds baseball helps him escape from the world of poverty and drugs. When he gets an opportunity to pitch for the rich kids across town, he has a chance to get drafted by the major leagues. But playing for the other team means leaving behind his family, including Antonio, Laz’s younger brother, who more and more, seems to be drawn to the dark world of the Jet City’s drug ring. Now Laz will have to choose between being the star pitcher he always dreamed of becoming and the team player his family needs. Goodbye From Nowhere by Sara Zarr Kyle Baker thought his family was happy. Happy enough, anyway. That’s why, when Kyle learns that his mother has been having an affair and his father has been living with the secret, his reality is altered. He quits baseball, ghosts his girlfriend, and generally checks out of life as he’s known it. With his older sisters out of the house and friends who don’t get it, the only person he can talk to is his cousin Emily—who is always there on the other end of his texts but still has her own life, hours away. Kyle’s parents want him to keep the secret of his mother’s affair from the rest of the family until after what might be their last big summer reunion. As Kyle watches the effects of his parents’ choices ripple out over friends, family, and strangers, and he feels the walls of his relationships closing in, he has to decide what his obligations are to everyone he cares for—including himself. It Sounded Better In My Head by Nina Kenwood When her parents announce their impending divorce, Natalie can’t understand why no one is fighting, or at least mildly upset. Then Zach and Lucy, her two best friends, hook up, leaving her feeling slightly miffed and decidedly awkward. She’d always imagined she would end up with Zach one day—in the version of her life that played out like a TV show, with just the right amount of banter, pining, and meaningful looks. Now everything has changed, and nothing is quite making sense. Until an unexpected romance comes along and shakes things up even further. Jack Kerouac Is Dead To Me by Gae Polisner Fifteen-year-old JL Markham’s life used to be filled with carnival nights and hot summer days spent giggling with her forever best friend Aubrey about their families and boys. Together, they were unstoppable. But they aren’t the friends they once were. With JL’s father gone on long term business, and her mother struggling with her mental illness, JL takes solace in the tropical butterflies she raises, and in her new, older boyfriend, Max Gordon. Max may be rough on the outside, but he has the soul of a poet (something Aubrey will never understand). Only, Max is about to graduate, and he’s going to hit the road – with or without JL. JL can’t bear being left behind again. But what if devoting herself to Max not only means betraying her parents, but permanently losing the love of her best friend? What becomes of loyalty, when no one is loyal to you? Gae Polisner’s Jack Kerouac is Dead to Me is a story about the fragility of female friendship, of falling in love and wondering if you are ready for more, and of the glimmers of hope we find by taking stock in ourselves. Little Universes by Heather Demetrios One wave: that’s all it takes for the rest of Mae and Hannah Winters’ lives to change. When a tsunami strikes the island where their parents are vacationing, it soon becomes clear that their mom and dad are never coming home. Forced to move to Boston from sunny California for the rest of their senior year, each girl struggles with secrets their parents’ death has brought to light, and with their uncertainty about the future. Instead of bringing them closer, it feels like the wave has torn the sisters apart. Hannah is a secret poet who wants to be seen, but only knows how to hide. The pain pills she stole from her dead father hurl her onto the shores of an addiction she can’t shake and a dealer who turns her heart upside down. When it’s clear Hannah’s drowning, Mae, a budding astronaut suddenly launched into an existential crisis—and unexpected love—must choose between herself and the only family she has left. *The Loop by Ben Oliver Luka Kane has been inside hi-tech prison the Loop for over two years. A death sentence is hanging over his head but his day-to-day routine is mind-numbingly repetitive, broken only by the books brought to him by the sympathetic warden, Wren. Then everything starts to change: rumours of war are whispered in the courtyard and the government-issued rain stops falling. On Luka’s last, desperate day, Wren issues him a terrifying warning: breaking out of the Loop might be Luka’s only chance to save himself – and the world … The Lucky Ones by Liz Lawson May is a survivor. But she doesn’t feel like one. She feels angry. And lost. And alone. Eleven months after the school shooting that killed her twin brother, May still doesn’t know why she was the only one to walk out of the band room that day. No one gets what she went through–no one saw and heard what she did. No one can possibly understand how it feels to be her. Zach lost his old life when his mother decided to defend the shooter. His girlfriend dumped him, his friends bailed, and now he spends his time hanging out with his little sister…and the one faithful friend who stuck around. His best friend is needy and demanding, but he won’t let Zach disappear into himself. Which is how Zach ends up at band practice that night. The same night May goes with her best friend to audition for a new band. Which is how May meets Zach. And how Zach meets May. And how both might figure out that surviving could be an option after all. Mad, Bad, and Dangerous To Know by Samira Ahmed It’s August in Paris and 17-year-old Khayyam Maquet—American, French, Indian, Muslim—is at a crossroads. This holiday with her parents should be a dream trip for the budding art historian. But her maybe-ex-boyfriend is probably ghosting her, she might have just blown her chance at getting into her dream college, and now all she really wants is to be back home in Chicago figuring out her messy life instead of brooding in the City of Light. Two hundred years before Khayyam’s summer of discontent, Leila is struggling to survive and keep her true love hidden from the Pasha who has “gifted” her with favored status in his harem. In the present day—and with the company of a descendant of Alexandre Dumas—Khayyam begins to connect allusions to an enigmatic 19th-century Muslim woman whose path may have intersected with Alexandre Dumas, Eugène Delacroix, and Lord Byron. Echoing across centuries, Leila and Khayyam’s lives intertwine, and as one woman’s long-forgotten life is uncovered, another’s is transformed. Meet Me at Midnight by Jessica Pennington Sidney and Asher should have clicked. Two star swimmers forced to spend their summers on a lake together sounds like the perfect match. But it’s the same every year–in between cookouts and boat rides and family-imposed bonfires, Sidney and Asher spend the dog days of summer finding the ultimate ways to prank each other. And now, after their senior year, they’re determined to make it the most epic summer yet. But their plans are thrown in sudden jeopardy when their feud causes their families to be kicked out of their beloved lake houses. Once in their new accommodations, Sidney expects the prank war to continue as usual. But then she gets a note–Meet me at midnight. And Asher has a proposition for her: join forces for one last summer of epic pranks, against a shared enemy–the woman who kicked them out. Their truce should make things simpler, but six years of tormenting one another isn’t so easy to ignore. Kind of like the undeniable attraction growing between them. The Perfect Escape by Suzanne Park Nate Jae-Woo Kim wants to be rich. When one of his classmates offers Nate a ridiculous amount of money to commit grade fraud, he knows that taking the windfall would help support his prideful Korean family, but is compromising his integrity worth it? Luck comes in the form of Kate Anderson, Nate’s colleague at the zombie-themed escape room where he works. She approaches Nate with a plan: a local tech company is hosting a weekend-long survivalist competition with a huge cash prize. It could solve all of Nate’s problems, and she needs the money too. If the two of them team up, Nate has a real shot of winning the grand prize. But the real challenge? Making through the weekend with his heart intact… Rules for Being a Girl by Candace Bushnell and Katie Cotugno It starts before you can even remember: You learn the rules for being a girl.… Marin has always been good at navigating these unspoken guidelines. A star student and editor of the school paper, she dreams of getting into Brown University. Marin’s future seems bright—and her young, charismatic English teacher, Mr. Beckett, is always quick to admire her writing and talk books with her. But when “Bex” takes things too far and comes on to Marin, she’s shocked and horrified. Had she somehow led him on? Was it her fault? When Marin works up the courage to tell the administration what happened, no one believes her. She’s forced to face Bex in class every day. Except now, he has an ax to grind. But Marin isn’t about to back down. She uses the school newspaper to fight back and she starts a feminist book club at school. She finds allies in the most unexpected people, like “slutty” Gray Kendall, who she’d always dismissed as just another lacrosse bro. As things heat up at school and in her personal life, Marin must figure out how to take back the power and write her own rules. *Ruthless Gods by Emily A. Duncan Nadya doesn’t trust her magic anymore. Serefin is fighting off a voice in his head that doesn’t belong to him. Malachiasz is at war with who–and what–he’s become. As their group is continually torn apart, the girl, the prince, and the monster find their fates irrevocably intertwined. Their paths are being orchestrated by someone…or something. The voices that Serefin hears in the darkness, the ones that Nadya believes are her gods, the ones that Malachiasz is desperate to meet—those voices want a stake in the world, and they refuse to stay quiet any longer. In her dramatic follow-up to Wicked Saints, the first book in her Something Dark and Holy trilogy, Emily A. Duncan paints a Gothic, icy world where shadows whisper, and no one is who they seem, with a shocking ending that will leave you breathless. So This Is Love by Elizabeth Lim What if Cinderella never tried on the glass slipper? Unable to prove that she’s the missing princess, and unable to bear life under Lady Tremaine any longer, Cinderella attempts a fresh start, looking for work at the palace as a seamstress. But when the Grand Duke appoints her to serve under the king’s visiting sister, Cinderella becomes witness to a grand conspiracy to take the king-and the prince-out of power, as well as a longstanding prejudice against fairies, including Cinderella’s own Fairy Godmother. Faced with questions of love and loyalty to the kingdom, Cinderella must find a way to stop the villains of past and present . . . before it’s too late. Somebody Told Me by Mia Siegert After an assault, bigender seventeen-year-old Aleks/Alexis is looking for a fresh start—so they voluntarily move in with their uncle, a Catholic priest. In their new bedroom, Aleks/Alexis discovers they can overhear parishioners in the church confessional. Moved by the struggles of these “sinners,” Aleks/Alexis decides to anonymously help them, finding solace in their secret identity: a guardian angel instead of a victim. But then Aleks/Alexis overhears a confession of another priest admitting to sexually abusing a parishioner. As they try to uncover the priest’s identity before he hurts anyone again, Aleks/Alexis is also forced to confront their own abuser and come to terms with their past trauma. *Sword in the Stars by Cori McCarthy and Amy Rose Capetta Ari Helix may have won her battle against the tyrannical Mercer corporation, but the larger war has just begun. Ari and her cursed wizard Merlin must travel back in time to the unenlightened Middle Ages and steal the King Arthur’s Grail — the very definition of impossible. It’s imperative that the time travelers not skew the timeline and alter the course of history. Coming face to face with the original Arthurian legend could produce a ripple effect that changes everything. Somehow Merlin forgot that the past can be even more dangerous than the future . . . They Went Left by Monica Hesse Germany, 1945. The soldiers who liberated the Gross-Rosen concentration camp said the war was over, but nothing feels over to eighteen-year-old Zofia Lederman. Her body has barely begun to heal; her mind feels broken. And her life is completely shattered: Three years ago, she and her younger brother, Abek, were the only members of their family to be sent to the right, away from the gas chambers of Auschwitz-Birkenau. Everyone else–her parents, her grandmother, radiant Aunt Maja–they went left. Zofia’s last words to her brother were a promise: Abek to Zofia, A to Z. When I find you again, we will fill our alphabet. Now her journey to fulfill that vow takes her through Poland and Germany, and into a displaced persons camp where everyone she meets is trying to piece together a future from a painful past: Miriam, desperately searching for the twin she was separated from after they survived medical experimentation. Breine, a former heiress, who now longs only for a simple wedding with her new fiancé. And Josef, who guards his past behind a wall of secrets, and is beautiful and strange and magnetic all at once. But the deeper Zofia digs, the more impossible her search seems. How can she find one boy in a sea of the missing? In the rubble of a broken continent, Zofia must delve into a mystery whose answers could break her–or help her rebuild her world. We Didn’t Ask for This by Adi Alsaid Every year, lock-in night changes lives. This year, it might just change the world. Central International School’s annual lock-in is legendary — and for six students, this year’s lock-in is the answer to their dreams. The chance to finally win the contest. Kiss the guy. Make a friend. Become the star of a story that will be passed down from student to student for years to come. But then a group of students, led by Marisa Cuevas, stage an eco-protest and chain themselves to the doors, vowing to keep everyone trapped inside until their list of demands is met. While some students rally to the cause, others are devastated as they watch their plans fall apart. And Marisa, once so certain of her goals, must now decide just how far she’ll go to attain them. What I Like About You by Marisa Kanter Is it still a love triangle if there are only two people in it? There are a million things that Halle Levitt likes about her online best friend, Nash. He’s an incredibly talented graphic novelist. He loves books almost as much as she does. And she never has to deal with the awkwardness of seeing him in real life. They can talk about anything… Except who she really is. Because online, Halle isn’t Halle—she’s Kels, the enigmatically cool creator of One True Pastry, a YA book blog that pairs epic custom cupcakes with covers and reviews. Kels has everything Halle doesn’t: friends, a growing platform, tons of confidence, and Nash. That is, until Halle arrives to spend senior year in Gramps’s small town and finds herself face-to-face with real, human, not-behind-a-screen Nash. Nash, who is somehow everywhere she goes—in her classes, at the bakery, even at synagogue. Nash who has no idea she’s actually Kels. If Halle tells him who she is, it will ruin the non-awkward magic of their digital friendship. Not telling him though, means it can never be anything more. Because while she starts to fall for Nash as Halle…he’s in love with Kels. 14 Deeplight by Frances Hardinge Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea meets Frankenstein in Frances Hardinge’s latest fantasy adventure The gods are dead. Decades ago, they turned on one another and tore each other apart. Nobody knows why. But are they really gone forever? When 15-year-old Hark finds the still-beating heart of a terrifying deity, he risks everything to keep it out of the hands of smugglers, military scientists, and a secret fanatical cult so that he can use it to save the life of his best friend, Jelt. But with the heart, Jelt gradually and eerily transforms. How long should Hark stay loyal to his friend when he’s becoming a monster—and what is Hark willing to sacrifice to save him? Elysium Girls by Kate Pentecost Elysium, Oklahoma, is a town like any other. Respectable. God-fearing. Praying for an end to the Dust Bowl. Until the day the people of Elysium are chosen by two sisters: Life and Death. And the Sisters like to gamble against each other with things like time, and space, and human lives. Elysium is to become the gameboard in a ruthless competition between the goddesses. The Dust Soldiers will return in ten years’ time, and if the people of Elysium have not proved themselves worthy, all will be slain. Nearly ten years later, seventeen-year-old Sal Wilkinson is called upon to lead Elysium as it prepares for the end of the game. But then an outsider named Asa arrives at Elysium’s gates with nothing more than a sharp smile and a bag of magic tricks, and they trigger a terrible accident that gets both Sal and Asa exiled into the brutal Desert of Dust and Steel. There Sal and Asa stumble upon a gang of girls headed by another exile: a young witch everyone in Elysium believes to be dead. As the apocalypse looms, they must do more than simply tip the scales in Elysium’s favor — only by reinventing the rules can they beat Life and Death at their own game in this exciting fantasy debut. A Girl in Three Parts by Suzanne Daniel Allegra Elsom is caught in the middle. Some days she’s eleven, and others she feels closer to nineteen. Some days she knows too much, and others she feels hopelessly naive. Some days she is split in three, torn between conflicting loyalties to her grandmothers, Matilde and Joy, and her father, Rick–none of whom can stand to be in a room together since the decades-old tragedy that hit their family like a wrecking ball. Allegra struggles to make peace in her family and navigate the social gauntlet at school while asking bigger questions about her place in the world: What does it mean to be “liberated”? What is it about “becoming a woman” that earns her a slap in the face? What does it mean to do the right thing, when everyone around her defines it differently? As the feminist movement reshapes her Sydney suburb, Allegra makes her own path–discovering firsthand the incredible ways that women can support each other, and finding strength within herself to stand up to the people she loves. Girls Save The World In This One by Ash Parsons Mega-fan June Blue’s whole life has been leading up to this moment: ZombieCon!The Ultimate in Undead Entertainment has finally come to her hometown. She and her two best friends–gorgeous, brilliant Imani and super-sweet, outrageously silly Siggy–plan on hitting all the panels and photo ops, and meeting the heartthrob lead of their favorite zombie apocalypse show, Human Wasteland. It’s going to be the best time of their lives–and one of their last adventures before they all split up for college. And when they arrive, everything seems perfect. June’s definitely not going to let anything get in the way of the flawless con experience–even though she’s endlessly anxious about the SATs and college admissions, and she can’t seem to avoid her ex-best friend Blair, whose VIP badge lets her walk straight to the front of every single line. No matter what, June is determined to make the best of her dream day at ZombieCon! But something’s not quite right at the con–there are strange people in hazmat suits running around, enthusiastic cosplayers taking their shambling a little too far, and someone actually biting a cast member. Then, at a panel gone wrong, June and her friends discover the truth: the zombie apocalypse is here. Now June, Imani, and Siggy must do whatever it takes to survive a horde of actual flesh-eating zombies–and save the world. A hilarious and heartfelt horror comedy, that is an ode to zombies, friendship, and girl power. In Good Hands by Stephanie MacKendrick Written for young women interested in running for office, this book is unlike any other, with inspiring stories of eighteen women role models along with the all the tools and resources needed to get a campaign off the ground. Stephanie MacKendrick, a former journalist now dedicated to women’s career advancement, believes the time for women in political leadership is now. Judging by the recent wave of activism that developed into a flood of women seeking elected office, she’s not alone. MacKendrick has created a one-of-kind insider’s guide for young women interested in joining this movement and becoming part of the political system. It explores everything from what to expect in a campaign, to how to deal with the inevitable challenges, to why it’s worth it to run. It combines uplifting stories of women who have run for office with practical strategies for doing so. Perfect as both a cover-to-cover read and a reference tool, the text is divided into three parts: first, engaging profiles that include the personal advice and encouragement of eighteen women who have run for office across the political spectrum, around the world and at all levels of politics, from Michelle Wu, past president of the Boston City Council, to Jacinda Ardern, prime minister of New Zealand; second, a detailed twelve-step campaign plan with advice on developing the qualities needed to run; and third, a collection of articles, books and organizations to help eager readers learn more. Also included is a foreword by Anne Moses, founder and president of IGNITE. Offering equal parts inspiration and information, this unique guidebook is just the thing to help young women transform ?I’ll think about it? into ?I’ll do it!? The Lightness of Hands by Jeff Garvin Sixteen-year-old Ellie Dante is desperate for something in her life to finally go right. Her father was a famous stage magician until he attempted an epic illusion on live TV―and failed. Now Ellie lives with her dad in a beat-up RV, attending high school online and performing with him at birthday parties and bars across the Midwest to make ends meet. But when the gigs dry up, their insurance lapses, leaving Dad’s heart condition unchecked and forcing Ellie to battle her bipolar II disorder without medication. Then Ellie receives a call from a famous magic duo, who offer fifteen thousand dollars and a shot at redemption: they want her father to perform the illusion that wrecked his career―on their live TV special, which shoots in Los Angeles in ten days. Ellie knows her dad will refuse―but she takes the deal anyway, then lies to persuade him to head west. With the help of her online-only best friend and an unusual guy she teams up with along the way, Ellie makes a plan to stage his comeback. But when her lie is exposed, she’ll have to confront her illness and her choices head-on to save her father―and herself. Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko Nothing is more important than loyalty. But what if you’ve sworn to protect the one you were born to destroy? Tarisai has always longed for the warmth of a family. She was raised in isolation by a mysterious, often absent mother known only as the Lady. The Lady sends her to the capital of the global empire of Aritsar to compete with other children to be chosen as one of the crown prince’s Council of 11. If she’s picked, she’ll be joined with the other council members through the Ray, a bond deeper than blood. That closeness is irresistible to Tarisai, who has always wanted to belong somewhere. But the Lady has other ideas, including a magical wish that Tarisai is compelled to obey: kill the crown prince once she gains his trust. Tarisai won’t stand by and become someone’s pawn – but is she strong enough to choose a different path for herself? With extraordinary world-building and breathtaking prose, Raybearer is the story of loyalty, fate, and the lengths we’re willing to go for the ones we love. Redemption Prep by Samuel Miller Everyone knows Emma. Neesha’s her best friend, Aiden’s her basketball star boyfriend, and Evan’s her shadow, following Emma’s every move. Emma stands out, which is hard to do at Redemption Prep, a school where every student has been handpicked to attend its remote campus in the forest of Utah. So when she goes missing in plain sight during mass, everyone notices. And everyone becomes a suspect, especially at a school with so many rules: Don’t skip mass. Don’t break curfew. Don’t go into the woods. Emma’s disappearance ignites an investigation, and Neesha, Aiden, and Evan all want to find her—for different reasons. But they each have their own secrets to hide, and not everyone wants Emma to be found. As the search continues, the students start to realize that they’re not the only ones trying to hide something. Redemption Prep has secrets, too—secrets bigger than any of the students could have imagined, and Emma could be the key to finding out the truth . . . if anyone can find her. This Boy by Lauren Myracle Paul Walden is not an alpha lobster, the hypermasculine crustacean king who intimidates the other male lobsters, beds all the lady lobsters, and “wins” at life. At least not according to the ego-bursting feedback he’s given in his freshman seminar. But Paul finds a funny, faithful friend in Roby Smalls, and maybe — oh god, please — he’s beginning to catch the interest of smart, beautiful Natalia Gutierrez. Cruising through high school as a sauced-out, rap-loving beta lobster suits Paul fine, and if life ever gets him down? Smoke a little weed, crunch a few pills . . . it’s all good. But in the treacherous currents of teenage culture, it’s easy to get pulled under. With perfect frankness, Lauren Myracle lays bare the life of one boy as he navigates friendship, love, loss, and addiction. It’s life at its most ordinary and most unforgettable. This Is My Brain on Love by I.W. Gregorio Jocelyn Wu has just three wishes for her junior year: To make it through without dying of boredom, to direct a short film with her BFF Priya Venkatram, and to get at least two months into the year without being compared to or confused with Peggy Chang, the only other Chinese girl in her grade. Will Domenici has two goals: to find a paying summer internship, and to prove he has what it takes to become an editor on his school paper. Then Jocelyn’s father tells her their family restaurant may be going under, and all wishes are off. Because her dad has the marketing skills of a dumpling, it’s up to Jocelyn and her unlikely new employee, Will, to bring A-Plus Chinese Garden into the 21st century (or, at least, to Facebook). What starts off as a rocky partnership soon grows into something more. But family prejudices and the uncertain future of A-Plus threaten to keep Will and Jocelyn apart. It will take everything they have and more, to save the family restaurant and their budding romance. 21 *The Deck of Omens by Christine Lynn Herman Though the Beast is seemingly subdued for now, a new threat lurks in Four Paths: a corruption seeping from the Gray into the forest. And with the other Founders preoccupied by their tangled alliances and fraying relationships, only May Hawthorne seems to realize the danger. But saving the town she loves means seeking aid from the person her family despises most — her father, Ezra Bishop. May’s father isn’t the only newcomer in town–Isaac Sullivan’s older brother has also returned, seeking forgiveness for the role he played in Isaac’s troubled past. But Isaac isn’t ready to let go of his family’s history, especially when that history might hold the key that he and Violet Saunders need to destroy the Gray and the monster within it. Harper Carlisle isn’t ready to forgive, either. Two devastating betrayals have left her isolated from her family and uncertain who to trust. As the corruption becomes impossible to ignore, Harper must learn to control her newfound powers in order to protect Four Paths. But the only people who can help her do that are the ones who have hurt her the most. With the veil between the Gray and the town growing ever thinner, the Founder descendants must put their grievances with one another aside to stop the corruption and kill the Beast once and for all. But the monster they truly need to slay may never been the Beast… The Easy Part of Impossible by Sarah Tomp Ria Williams was an elite diver on track for the Olympics. As someone who struggled in school, largely due to her ADHD, diving was the one place Ria could shine. But while her parents were focused on the trophies, no one noticed how Coach Benny’s strict rules and punishments controlled every aspect of Ria’s life. The harder he was on her, the sharper her focus. The bigger the bruise, the better the dive. Until a freak accident at a meet changes everything. Just like that, Ria is handed back her life, free of Benny. To fill her now empty and aimless days, Ria rekindles a friendship with Cotton, a guy she used to know back in elementary school. With Cotton, she’s able to open up about what Benny would do to her, and through Cotton’s eyes, Ria is able to see it for what it was: abuse. Then Benny returns, offering Ria a second chance with a life-changing diving opportunity. But it’s not hers alone—Benny’s coaching comes with it. The thought of being back under his control seems impossible to bear, but so does walking away. How do you separate the impossible from possible when the one thing you love is so tangled up in the thing you fear most? Kent State by Deborah Wiles May 4, 1970. Kent State University. As protestors roil the campus, National Guardsmen are called in. In the chaos of what happens next, shots are fired and four students are killed. To this day, there is still argument of what happened and why. Told in multiple voices from a number of vantage points — protestor, Guardsman, townie, student — Deborah Wiles’s Kent State gives a moving, terrifying, galvanizing picture of what happened that weekend in Ohio . . . an event that, even 50 years later, still resonates deeply. Late To The Party by Kelly Quindlen She’s never crashed a party, never stayed out too late. She’s never even been kissed. And it’s not just because she’s gay. It’s because she and her two best friends, Maritza and JaKory, spend more time in her basement watching Netflix than engaging with the outside world. So when Maritza and JaKory suggest crashing a party, Codi is highly skeptical. Those parties aren’t for kids like them. They’re for cool kids. Straight kids. But then Codi stumbles upon one of those cool kids, Ricky, kissing another boy in the dark, and an unexpected friendship is formed. In return for never talking about that kiss, Ricky takes Codi under his wing and draws her into a wild summer filled with late nights, new experiences, and one really cute girl named Lydia. The only problem? Codi never tells Maritza or JaKory about any of it. Nowhere on Earth by Nick Lake Sixteen-year-old Emily is on the run. Between her parents and the trouble she’s recently gotten into at school, she has more than enough reason to get away. But when she finds a little boy named Aidan wandering in the woods, she knows she needs to help him find his way home. But getting home is no easy matter, especially when Emily finds out that Aidan isn’t even from Earth. When their plane crashes into the side of a snowy mountain, it’s up to Emily to ensure Aidan and their pilot, Bob, make it off the mountain alive. Pursued by government forces who want to capture Aidan, the unlikely team of three trek across the freezing landscape, learning more about each other, and about life, than they ever thought possible. *An Outcast and An Ally by Caitlin Lochner Lai, Jay, Al, and Erik are on the run after the military accuses them of being traitors. Tensions between everyone are high, but they have to stick together if they want to survive. And somehow stop the war that’s now in full swing. But when Erik returns to the rebels to find answers about his past, Lai, Al, and Jay have no choice but to go to the Order—a peace coalition bent on stopping the rebels and dissolving the enmity between gifted and ungifted. However, the longer the war drags on, the more Lai’s long-kept secrets threaten to destroy everything she’s ever worked for. Sparks fly as the team constantly questions whether they can trust one another and everyone tries to navigate a war that will change everything. The Silence of Bones by June Hur I have a mouth, but I mustn’t speak; Ears, but I mustn’t hear; Eyes, but I mustn’t see. 1800, Joseon (Korea). Homesick and orphaned sixteen-year-old Seol is living out the ancient curse: “May you live in interesting times.” Indentured to the police bureau, she’s been tasked with assisting a well-respected young inspector with the investigation into the politically charged murder of a noblewoman. As they delve deeper into the dead woman’s secrets, Seol forms an unlikely bond of friendship with the inspector. But her loyalty is tested when he becomes the prime suspect, and Seol may be the only one capable of discovering what truly happened on the night of the murder. But in a land where silence and obedience are valued above all else, curiosity can be deadly. Time of Our Lives by Emily Wibberley, Austin Siegemund-Broka Fitz Holton waits in fear for the day his single mother’s early-onset Alzheimer’s starts stealing her memory. He’s vowed to stay close to home to care for her in the years to come–never mind the ridiculous college tour she’s forcing him on to visit schools where he knows he’ll never go. Juniper Ramirez is counting down the days until she can leave home, a home crowded with five younger siblings and zero privacy. Against the wishes of her tight-knit family, Juniper plans her own college tour of the East Coast with one goal: get out. When Fitz and Juniper cross paths on their first college tour in Boston, they’re at odds from the moment they meet– while Juniper’s dying to start a new life apart from her family, Fitz faces the sacrifices he must make for his. Their relationship sparks a deep connection–in each other’s eyes, they glimpse alternate possibilities regarding the first big decision of their adult lives. Time of Our Lives is a story of home and away, of the wonder and weight of memory, of outgrowing fears and growing into the future. Unscripted by Nicole Kronzer Seventeen-year-old Zelda Bailey-Cho has her future all planned out: improv camp, then Second City, and finally Saturday Night Live. She’s thrilled when she lands a spot on the coveted varsity team at a prestigious improv camp, which means she’ll get to perform for professional scouts – including her hero, Nina Knightley. But even though she’s hardworking and talented, Zelda’s also the only girl on Varsity, so she’s a target for humiliation from her teammates. And her 20-year-old coach Ben is cruel to her at practice and way too nice to her when they’re alone…. Zelda wants to fight back, but is sacrificing her best shot at her dream too heavy a price to pay? 28 All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson In a series of personal essays, prominent journalist and LGBTQIA+ activist George M. Johnson explores his childhood, adolescence, and college years in New Jersey and Virginia. From the memories of getting his teeth kicked out by bullies at age five, to flea marketing with his loving grandmother, to his first sexual relationships, this young-adult memoir weaves together the trials and triumphs faced by Black queer boys. Both a primer for teens eager to be allies as well as a reassuring testimony for young queer men of color, All Boys Aren’t Blue covers topics such as gender identity, toxic masculinity, brotherhood, family, structural marginalization, consent, and Black joy. Johnson’s emotionally frank style of writing will appeal directly to young adults. Clique Bait by Ann Valett Chloe Whittaker is out for revenge. Last year her best friend Monica’s life was unceremoniously ruined by the most popular students at their high school, so this year Chloe plans to take each and every one of them down. She’s traded in her jeans and T-shirts for the latest designer clothes, erased anything on social media that would tie her to Monica (and blow her cover), and carefully figured out how she will befriend the members of the clique, find out their deepest and darkest secrets, and reveal them to the world. Chloe has the perfect plan . . . but there’s one thing she didn’t prepare for. And that’s falling for someone she’s determined to destroy. The closer she gets to uncovering the secrets the in-crowd is determined to cover up, the more she realizes that she is going to have to choose between betraying her oldest friend or the boy who’s captured her heart Don’t Call The Wolf by Aleksandra Ross A fierce young queen, neither human nor lynx, who fights to protect a forest humans have long abandoned. An exhausted young soldier, last of his name, who searches for the brother who disappeared beneath those trees without a trace. A Golden Dragon, fearsome and vengeful, whose wingbeats haunt their nightmares and their steps. When these three paths cross at the fringes of a war between monsters and men, shapeshifter queen and reluctant hero strike a deal that may finally turn the tide against the rising hordes of darkness. Ren will help Lukasz find his brother…if Lukasz promises to slay the Dragon. But promises are all too easily broken. Hard Wired by Len Vlahos Quinn thinks he’s a normal fifteen year-old. He plays video games, spends time with his friends, and crushes on a girl named Shea. But a shocking secret brings his entire world crashing down: he’s not a boy. He’s artificial intelligence. After Quinn “wakes up,” he sees his world was nothing more than a virtual construct. He’s the QUantum INtelligence Project, the first fully-aware A.I. in the world–part of a grand multi-billion-dollar experiment led by the very man he believed to be his dead father. But as Quinn encounters the real world for the first time, his life becomes a nightmare. While the scientists continue to experiment on him, Quinn must come to grips with the truth: his mom and brother don’t exist. His friends are all adults who were paid to hang out with him. Even other super computers aren’t like him. Quinn finds himself completely alone–until he bonds with Shea, the real girl behind the virtual one. As Quinn explores what it means to truly live, he questions who he can trust. What will it take to win his freedom . . . and where does he belong? *Incendiary by Zoraida Cordova I am Renata Convida. I have lived a hundred stolen lives. Now I live my own. Renata was only a child when she was kidnapped by the King’s Justice and brought to the luxurious palace of Andalucia. As a memory thief, the rarest and most feared of the magical Moria, Renata was used by the crown to carry out the King’s Wrath, a siege that resulted in the deaths of thousands of her own people. Now Renata is one of the Whispers, rebel spies working against the crown. The Whispers may have rescued Renata years ago, but she cannot escape their mistrust and hatred-or the overpowering memories of the hundreds of souls she drained during her time in the palace. When Dez, the commander of her unit-and the boy she’s grown to love-is taken captive by the notorious Principe Dorado, Renata must return to Andalucia and complete Dez’s top secret mission herself. Can she keep her cover, even as she burns for vengeance against the brutal, enigmatic prince? Her life and the fate of the Moria depend on it. But returning to the palace stirs childhood memories long locked away. As Renata grows more deeply embedded in the politics of the royal court, she uncovers a secret in her past that could change the fate of the entire kingdom-and end the war that has cost her everything. May 5 Admission by Julie Buxbaum It’s good to be Chloe Wynn Berringer. She’s headed off to the college of her dreams. She’s going to prom with the boy she’s had a crush on since middle school. Her best friend always has her back, and her mom, a B-list Hollywood celebrity, may finally be on her way to the B+ list. It’s good to be Chloe Wynn Berringer–at least, it was, until the FBI came knocking on her front door, guns at the ready, and her future went up in smoke. Now her mother is under arrest in a massive college admissions bribery scandal. Chloe, too, might be facing charges, and even time behind bars. The public is furious, the press is rabid, and the US attorney is out for blood. As she loses everything she’s long taken for granted, Chloe must reckon not only with the truth of what happened, but also with the examination of her own guilt. Why did her parents think the only way for her to succeed was to cheat for her? What did she know, and when did she know it? And perhaps most importantly, what does it mean to be complicit? *Aurora Burning by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff First, the bad news: An ancient evil – you know, your standard consume-all-life-in-the-galaxy deal – is about to be unleashed. The good news? Squad 312 is standing by to save the day. They’ve just got to take care of a few small distractions first. Like the clan of gremps who’d like to rearrange their favorite faces. And the cadre of illegit GIA agents with creepy flowers where their eyes used to be, who’ll stop at nothing to get their hands on Auri. Then there’s Kal’s long-lost sister, who’s not exactly happy to see her baby brother and has a Syldrathi army at her back. With half the known galaxy on their tails, Squad 312 has never felt so wanted. When they learn the Hadfield has been found, it’s time to come out of hiding. Two centuries ago, the colony ship vanished, leaving Auri as its sole survivor. Now, its black box might be what saves them. But time is short, and if Auri can’t learn to master her powers as a Trigger, the squad and all their admirers are going to be deader than the Great Ultrasaur of Abraaxis IV. Shocking revelations, bank heists, mysterious gifts, inappropriately tight bodysuits, and an epic firefight will determine the fate of the Aurora Legion’s most unforgettable heroes – and maybe the rest of the galaxy as well. The Betrothed by Kiera Cass A would-be queen. A handsome young king. A perfect match…or is it? From the number one New York Times best-selling author of the Selection series comes The Betrothed, a glittering royal romance sure to captivate her legion of loyal fans and lovers of courtly intrigue alike. When King Jameson declares his love for Lady Hollis Brite, Hollis is shocked – and thrilled. After all, she’s grown up at Keresken Castle, vying for the king’s attention alongside other daughters of the nobility. Capturing his heart is a dream come true. But Hollis soon realizes that falling in love with a king and being crowned queen may not be the happily ever after she thought it would be. And when she meets a commoner with the mysterious power to see right into her heart, she finds that the future she really wants is one that she never thought to imagine. Chasing Lucky by Jenn Bennett Sometimes to find the good, you have to embrace the bad.  Budding photographer Josie Saint-Martin has spent half her life with her single mother, moving from city to city. When they return to her historical New England hometown years later to run the family bookstore, Josie knows it’s not forever. Her dreams are on the opposite coast, and she has a plan to get there. What she doesn’t plan for is a run-in with the town bad boy, Lucky Karras. Outsider, rebel…and her former childhood best friend. Lucky makes it clear he wants nothing to do with the newly returned Josie. But everything changes after a disastrous pool party, and a poorly executed act of revenge lands Josie in some big-time trouble—with Lucky unexpectedly taking the blame. Determined to understand why Lucky was so quick to cover for her, Josie discovers that both of them have changed, and that the good boy she once knew now has a dark sense of humor and a smile that makes her heart race. And maybe, just maybe, he’s not quite the brooding bad boy everyone thinks he is… Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo Camino Rios lives for the summers when her father visits her in the Dominican Republic. But this time, on the day when his plane is supposed to land, Camino arrives at the airport to see crowds of crying people… In New York City, Yahaira Rios is called to the principal’s office, where her mother is waiting to tell her that her father, her hero, has died in a plane crash. Separated by distance—and Papi’s secrets—the two girls are forced to face a new reality in which their father is dead and their lives are forever altered. And then, when it seems like they’ve lost everything of their father, they learn of each other. *Dark Skies by Danielle L. Jensen A RUNAWAY WITH A HIDDEN PAST Lydia is a scholar, but books are her downfall when she meddles in the plots of the most powerful man in the Celendor Empire. Her life in danger, she flees west to the far side of the Endless Seas and finds herself entangled in a foreign war where her burgeoning powers are sought by both sides. A COMMANDER IN DISGRACE Killian is Marked by the God of War, but his gifts fail him when the realm under the dominion of the Corrupter invades Mudamora. Disgraced, he swears his sword to the kingdom’s only hope: the crown princess. But the choice sees him caught up in a web of political intrigue that will put his oath – and his heart – to the test. A KINGDOM UNDER SIEGE With Mudamora falling beneath the armies of the Corrupter, Lydia and Killian strike a bargain to save those they love most―but it is a bargain with unintended and disastrous consequences. Truths are revealed, birthrights claimed, and loyalties questioned―all while a menace deadlier and more far-reaching than they realize sweeps across the world. Don’t Ask Me Where I’m From by Jennifer De Leon Liliana Cruz is a hitting a wall—or rather, walls. There’s the wall her mom has put up ever since Liliana’s dad left—again. There’s the wall that delineates Liliana’s diverse inner-city Boston neighborhood from Westburg, the wealthy—and white—suburban high school she’s just been accepted into. And there’s the wall Liliana creates within herself, because to survive at Westburg, she can’t just lighten up, she has to whiten up. So what if she changes her name? So what if she changes the way she talks? So what if she’s seeing her neighborhood in a different way? But then light is shed on some hard truths: It isn’t that her father doesn’t want to come home—he can’t…and her whole family is in jeopardy. And when racial tensions at school reach a fever pitch, the walls that divide feel insurmountable. But a wall isn’t always a barrier. It can be a foundation for something better. And Liliana must choose: Use this foundation as a platform to speak her truth, or risk crumbling under its weight. The Extraordinaries by TJ Klune Nick Bell? Not extraordinary. But being the most popular fanfiction writer in the Extraordinaries fandom is a superpower, right? After a chance encounter with Shadow Star, Nova City’s mightiest hero (and Nick’s biggest crush), Nick sets out to make himself extraordinary. And he’ll do it with or without the reluctant help of Seth Gray, Nick’s best friend (and maybe the love of his life). Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl meets Marissa Meyer’s Renegades in TJ Klune’s YA debut. *Forged In Fire and Stars by Andrea Robertson Ara has always known the legend of the Loresmith: the blacksmith who served alongside the kings and queens of Saetlund, forging legendary weapons to arm warriors and protect the kingdom. She’s been told it’s her fate to inherit the title and become the next Loresmith. But since the monarchy’s downfall in a vicious conquest years before, Ara has never truly believed she would be able to take up her duty. But when the lost Princess Nimhea and Prince Eamon steal Ara from her quiet life with a mission to retake the throne and return Ara to her place as the Loresmith–Ara’s whole world turns upside down. Suddenly, Ara must leave her small mountain village and embark on a dangerous adventure where she will uncover new truths about her family’s legacy, and even face the gods themselves. With a mysterious thief as an unexpected companion, and dark forces following their every move, Ara must use all her skills to forge the right path forward–for herself, her kingdom, and her heart. The Invincible Summer of Juniper Jones by Daven McQueen It’s the summer of 1955. For Ethan Harper, a biracial kid raised mostly by his white father, race has always been a distant conversation. When he’s sent to spend the summer with his aunt and uncle in small-town Alabama, his Blackness is suddenly front and center, and no one is shy about making it known he’s not welcome there. Except for Juniper Jones. The town’s resident oddball and free spirit, she’s everything the townspeople aren’t―open, kind, and full of acceptance. Armed with two bikes and an unlimited supply of root beer floats, Ethan and Juniper set out to find their place in a town that’s bent on rejecting them. As Ethan is confronted for the first time by what it means to be Black in America, Juniper tries to help him see the beauty in even the ugliest reality, and that even the darkest days can give rise to an invincible summer. Daven McQueen’s Juniper Jones is a character for all ages in this sweet coming of age story set in 1950s Alabama. Last Girls by Demetra Brodsky No one knows how the world will end. On a secret compound in the Washington wilderness, Honey Juniper and her sisters are training to hunt, homestead, and protect their own. Prepare for every situation. But when danger strikes from within, putting her sisters at risk, training becomes real life, and only one thing is certain: Nowhere is safe. The LiFe and Medieval Times of Kit SweetLy by Jamie Pacton Working as a Wench—i.e. waitress—at a cheesy medieval-themed restaurant in the Chicago suburbs, Kit Sweetly dreams of being a Knight like her brother. She has the moves, is capable on a horse, and desperately needs the raise that comes with knighthood, so she can help her mom pay the mortgage and hold a spot at her dream college. Company policy allows only guys to be Knights. So when Kit takes her brother’s place, clobbers the Green Knight, and reveals her identity at the end of the show, she rockets into internet fame and a whole lot of trouble with the management. But this Girl Knight won’t go down without a fight. As other Wenches and cast members join her quest, a protest forms. In a joust before Castle executives, they’ll prove that gender restrictions should stay medieval—if they don’t get fired first. *Lobizona by Romina Garber Some people ARE illegal. Lobizonas do NOT exist. Both of these statements are false. Manuela Azul has been crammed into an existence that feels too small for her. As an undocumented immigrant who’s on the run from her father’s Argentine crime-family, Manu is confined to a small apartment and a small life in Miami, Florida. Until Manu’s protective bubble is shattered. Her surrogate grandmother is attacked, lifelong lies are exposed, and her mother is arrested by ICE. Without a home, without answers, and finally without shackles, Manu investigates the only clue she has about her past—a mysterious “Z” emblem—which leads her to a secret world buried within our own. A world connected to her dead father and his criminal past. A world straight out of Argentine folklore, where the seventh consecutive daughter is born a bruja and the seventh consecutive son is a lobizón, a werewolf. A world where her unusual eyes allow her to belong. As Manu uncovers her own story and traces her real heritage all the way back to a cursed city in Argentina, she learns it’s not just her U.S. residency that’s illegal. . . .it’s her entire existence. The Mermaid, The Witch, and The Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall Aboard the pirate ship Dove, Flora the girl takes on the identity of Florian the man to earn the respect and protection of the crew. For Flora, former starving urchin, the brutal life of a pirate is about survival: don’t trust, don’t stick out, and don’t feel. But on this voyage, Flora is drawn to the Lady Evelyn Hasegawa, who is headed to an arranged marriage she dreads. Flora doesn’t expect to be taken under Evelyn’s wing, and Evelyn doesn’t expect to find such a deep bond with the pirate Florian. Neither expects to fall in love. Soon the unlikely pair set in motion a wild escape that will free a captured mermaid (coveted for her blood) and involve the mysterious Pirate Supreme, an opportunistic witch, double agents, and the all-encompassing Sea herself. Deftly entwining swashbuckling action and quiet magic, Maggie Tokuda-Hall’s inventive debut novel conjures a diverse cast of characters seeking mastery over their fates while searching for answers to big questions about identity, power, and love. My Summer of Love and Misfortune by Lindsay Wong Iris Wang is having a bit of a rough start to her summer: Her boyfriend cheated on her, she didn’t get into any colleges, and she has no idea who she is or what she wants to do with her life. She’s always felt torn about being Chinese-American, feeling neither Chinese nor American enough to claim either identity. She’s just a sad pizza combo from Domino’s, as far as she’s concerned. In an attempt to snap her out of her funk, Iris’s parents send her away to visit family in Beijing, with the hopes that Iris would “reconnect with her culture” and “find herself.” Iris resents the condescension, but even she admits that this might be a good opportunity to hit the reset button on the apocalyptic disaster that has become her life. With this trip, Iris expects to eat a few dumplings, meet some family, and visit a tourist hotspot or two. Instead, she gets swept up in the ridiculous, opulent world of Beijing’s wealthy elite, leading her to unexpected and extraordinary discoveries about her family, her future, and herself. Running by Natalia Sylvester Fifteen-year-old Cuban-American Marianna Ruiz’s father has been a politician Mari’s entire life, but when he runs for president, Mari’s family is subjected to a new level of exposure, and Mari starts to see her dad with new eyes. A novel about privacy, waking up and standing up, and what happens when you stop seeing your dad as your hero—while the whole country is watching. *Spiked by Jon McGoran Committed to both peace and human rights for chimeras–people who alter themselves with animal DNA–seventeen-year-old Jimi Corcoran is torn when she’s invited to a gathering of moderate pro- and anti-chimera rights activists seeking to find common ground. But when a militant chimera rights group prevents her from attending–and saves her from being killed by the bomb they’ve planted–Jimi herself falls under suspicion for the blast. Seeking to clear her name, Jimi and her chimera boyfriend, Rex, investigate the mysterious group. . . . only to discover that her involvement is no accident. As they dig deeper, they’re drawn into a whirlwind of secret identities, shocking experiments, and an apocalyptic plot that threatens the future of humanity. In this thrilling conclusion to Jon McGoran’s timely and heavy-hitting Spliced series, extremists on both sides square off in an escalating battle between competing visions of the future of humanity, and of the Earth. Set in a near-future society where science is both celebrated and vilified, the Spliced series tackles weighty questions about genetic manipulation, artificial intelligence, population control–and when, if ever, revolution is worth a life. War and Speech by Don Zolidis Not everyone can be a winner…and Sydney Williams knows this better than anyone. After her white-collar- criminal dad is sent to prison, Sydney fails almost all of her classes and moves into a dingy apartment with her mom, who can barely support them with her minimum-wage job at the mall. A new school promises a fresh start. Except Eaganville isn’t exactly like other high schools. It’s ruled with an iron fist by a speech team that embodies the most extreme winner-takes-all philosophy. Sydney is befriended by a group of fellow misfits, each of whom has been personally victimized by the speech team. It turns out Sydney is the perfect plant to take down the speech team from within. With the help of her co-conspirators, Sydney throws herself into making Nationals in speech, where she will be poised to topple the corrupt regime. But what happens when Sydney realizes she actually has a shot at . . . winning? Sydney lost everything because of her dad’s obsession with being on top. Winning at speech might just be her ticket out of a life of loserdom. Can she really walk away from that? When You Get The Chance by Tom Ryan and Robin Stevenson As kids, Mark and his cousin Talia spent many happy summers together at the family cottage in Ontario, but a fight between their parents put an end to the annual event. Living on opposite coasts — Mark in Halifax and Talia in Victoria — they haven’t seen each other in years. When their grandfather dies unexpectedly, Mark and Talia find themselves reunited at the cottage once again, cleaning it out while the family decides what to do with it. Mark and Talia are both queer, but they soon realize that’s about all they have in common, other than the fact that they’d both prefer to be in Toronto. Talia is desperate to see her high school sweetheart Erin, who’s barely been in touch since leaving to spend the summer working at a coffee shop in the Gay Village. Mark, on the other hand, is just looking for some fun, and Toronto Pride seems like the perfect place to find it. When a series of complications throws everything up in the air, Mark and Talia — with Mark’s little sister Paige in tow — decide to hit the road for Toronto. With a bit of luck, and some help from a series of unexpected new friends, they might just make it to the big city and find what they’re looking for. That is, if they can figure out how to start seeing things through each other’s eyes. 12 By The Book by Amanda Sellet Mary Porter-Malcolm has prepared for high school in the one way she knows how: an extensive review of classic literature to help navigate the friendships, romantic liaisons, and overall drama she has come to expect from such an “esteemed” institution. When some new friends seem in danger of falling for the same tricks employed since the days of Austen and Tolstoy, Mary swoops in to create the Scoundrel Survival Guide, using archetypes of literature’s debonair bad boys to signal red flags. But despite her best efforts, she soon finds herself unable to listen to her own good advice and falling for a supposed cad—the same one she warned her friends away from. Without a convenient rain-swept moor to flee to, Mary is forced to admit that real life doesn’t follow the same rules as fiction and that if she wants a happy ending, she’s going to have to write it herself. The Boy in the Red Dress by Kristin Lambert A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue meets Miss Fisher’s Murder Mystery in this rollicking romp of truth, lies, and troubled pasts. New Year’s Eve, 1929.  Millie is running the show at the Cloak & Dagger, a swinging speakeasy in the French Quarter, while her aunt is out of town. The new year is just around the corner, and all of New Orleans is out to celebrate, but even wealthy partiers’ diamond earrings can’t outshine the real star of the night: the boy in the red dress. Marion is the club’s star performer and his fans are legion–if mostly underground. When a young socialite wielding a photograph of Marion starts asking questions, Millie wonders if she’s just another fan. But then her body is found crumpled in the courtyard, dead from an apparent fall off the club’s balcony, and all signs point to Marion as the murderer. Millie knows he’s innocent, but local detectives aren’t so easily convinced. As she chases clues that lead to cemeteries and dead ends, Millie’s attention is divided between the wry and beautiful Olive, a waitress at the Cloak & Dagger, and Bennie, the charming bootlegger who’s offered to help her solve the case. The clock is ticking for the fugitive Marion, but the truth of who the killer is might be closer than Millie thinks. Dear Universe by Florence Gonsalves It’s senior year, and Chamomile Myles has whiplash from traveling between her two universes: school (the relentless countdown to prom, torturous college applications, and the mindless march toward an uncertain future) and home, where she wrestles a slow, bitter battle with her father’s terminal illness. Enter Brendan, a man-bun-and tutu-wearing hospital volunteer with a penchant for absurdity, who strides boldly between her worlds–and helps her open up a new road between them. Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender Felix Love has never been in love – and, yes, he’s painfully aware of the irony. He desperately wants to know what it’s like and why it seems so easy for everyone but him to find someone. What’s worse is that, even though he is proud of his identity, Felix also secretly fears that he’s one marginalization too many – Black, queer, and transgender – to ever get his own happily-ever-after. When an anonymous student begins sending him transphobic messages – after publicly posting Felix’s deadname alongside images of him before he transitioned – Felix comes up with a plan for revenge. What he didn’t count on: his catfish scenario landing him in a quasi-love triangle…. But as he navigates his complicated feelings, Felix begins a journey of questioning and self-discovery that helps redefine his most important relationship: how he feels about himself. Felix Ever After is an honest and layered story about identity, falling in love, and recognizing the love you deserve. The Girl In The White Van by April Henry When Savannah disappears soon after arguing with her mom’s boyfriend, everyone assumes she’s run away. The truth is much worse. She’s been kidnapped by a man in a white van who locks her in an old trailer home, far from prying eyes. And worse yet, Savannah’s not alone: ten months earlier, Jenny met the same fate and nearly died trying to escape. Now as the two girls wonder if he will hold them captive forever or kill them, they must join forces to break out—even if it means they die trying. Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust There was and there was not, as all stories begin, a princess cursed to be poisonous to the touch. But for Soraya, who has lived her life hidden away, apart from her family, safe only in her gardens, it’s not just a story. As the day of her twin brother’s wedding approaches, Soraya must decide if she’s willing to step outside of the shadows for the first time. Below in the dungeon is a demon who holds knowledge that she craves, the answer to her freedom. And above is a young man who isn’t afraid of her, whose eyes linger not with fear, but with an understanding of who she is beneath the poison. Soraya thought she knew her place in the world, but when her choices lead to consequences she never imagined, she begins to question who she is and who she is becoming…human or demon. Princess or monster. The Henna Wars by (Book Riot Contributor) Adiba Jaigirdar Nishat doesn’t want to lose her family, but she also doesn’t want to hide who she is, and it only gets harder once a childhood friend walks back into her life. Flávia is beautiful and charismatic, and Nishat falls for her instantly. But when a school competition invites students to create their own businesses, both Flávia and Nishat decide to showcase their talent as henna artists. In a fight to prove who is the best, their lives become more tangled—but Nishat can’t quite get rid of her crush, especially since Flávia seems to like her back. As the competition heats up, Nishat has a decision to make: stay in the closet for her family, or put aside her differences with Flávia and give their relationship a chance. *House of Dragons by Jessica Cluess When the Emperor dies, the five royal houses of Etrusia attend the Call, where one of their own will be selected to compete for the throne. It is always the oldest child, the one who has been preparing for years to compete in the Trial. But this year is different. This year these five outcasts will answer the call. . . . THE LIAR: Emilia must hide her dark magic or be put to death. THE SOLDIER: Lucian is a warrior who has sworn to never lift a sword again. THE SERVANT: Vespir is a dragon trainer whose skills alone will keep her in the game. THE THIEF: Ajax knows that nothing is free–he must take what he wants. THE MURDERER: Hyperia was born to rule and will stop at nothing to take her throne. In Search of Safety: Voices of Refugees by Susan Kuklin Five refugees recount their courageous journeys to America — and the unimaginable struggles that led them to flee their homelands — in a powerful work from the author of Beyond Magentaand We Are Here to Stay. “From 1984, when I was born, until July 16, 2017, when I arrived in the United States, I never lived in a place where there was no war.” — Fraidoon An Iraqi woman who survived capture by ISIS. A Sudanese teen growing up in civil war and famine. An Afghan interpreter for the U.S. Army living under threat of a fatwa. They are among the five refugees who share their stories in award-winning author and photographer Susan Kuklin’s latest masterfully crafted narrative. The five, originally from Afghanistan, Myanmar, South Sudan, Iraq, and Burundi, give gripping first-person testimonies about what it is like to flee war, face violent threats, grow up in a refugee camp, be sold into slavery, and resettle in America. Illustrated with full-color photographs of the refugees’ new lives in Nebraska, this work is essential reading for understanding the devastating impact of war and persecution — and the power of resilience, optimism, and the will to survive. Included in the end matter are chapter notes, information on resettlement and U.S. citizenship, historical time lines of war and political strife in the refugees’ countries of origin, resources for further reading, and an index. More Than Maybe by Erin Hahn Growing up under his punk rocker dad’s spotlight, eighteen-year-old Luke Greenly knows fame and wants nothing to do with it. His real love isn’t in front of a crowd, it’s on the page. Hiding his gift and secretly hoarding songs in his bedroom at night, he prefers the anonymous comfort of the locally popular podcast he co-hosts with his outgoing and meddling, far-too-jealousy-inspiringly-happy-with-his-long-term-boyfriend twin brother, Cullen. But that’s not Luke’s only secret. He also has a major un-requited crush on music blogger, Vada Carsewell. Vada’s got a five year plan: secure a job at the Loud Lizard to learn from local legend (and her mom’s boyfriend) Phil Josephs (check), take over Phil’s music blog (double check), get accepted into Berkeley’s prestigious music journalism program (check, check, check), manage Ann Arbor’s summer concert series and secure a Rolling Stone internship. Luke Greenly is most definitely NOT on the list. So what if his self-deprecating charm and out of this world music knowledge makes her dizzy? Or his brother just released a bootleg recording of Luke singing about some mystery girl on their podcast and she really, really wishes it was her? In More Than Maybe, Erin Hahn’s swooniest book yet, Luke and Vada must decide how deep their feelings run and what it would mean to give love a try. Private Lessons by Cynthia Salaysay After seventeen-year-old Claire Alalay’s father’s death, only music has helped her channel her grief. Claire likes herself best when she plays his old piano, a welcome escape from the sadness — and her traditional Filipino mother’s prayer groups. In the hopes of earning a college scholarship, Claire auditions for Paul Avon, a prominent piano teacher, who agrees to take Claire as a pupil. Soon Claire loses herself in Paul’s world and his way of digging into a composition’s emotional core. She practices constantly, foregoing a social life, but no matter how hard she works or how well she plays, it seems impossible to gain Paul’s approval, let alone his affection. Author Cynthia Salaysay composes a moving, beautifully written portrait of rigorous perfectionism, sexual awakening, and the challenges of self-acceptance. Timely and vital, Private Lessons delves into a complicated student/teacher relationship, as well as class and cultural differences, with honesty and grace. Say Yes Summer by Lindsey Roth Culli The perfect book to kick off summer! For as long as Rachel Brooks can remember, she’s had capital-G Goals: straight As, academic scholarship, college of her dreams. And it’s all paid off–after years of following the rules and acing every exam, Rachel is graduating at the top of her class and ready to celebrate by . . . doing absolutely nothing. Because Rachel Brooks has spent most of high school saying no. No to dances, no to parties, and most especially, no to boys. Now, for the first time in her life, there’s nothing stopping Rachel from having a little fun–nothing, that is, except herself. So when she stumbles on a beat up old self-help book–A SEASON OF YES!–a crazy idea pops into her head: What if she just said yes to . . . everything? And so begins a summer of yes. Yes to new experiences and big mistakes, yes to rekindled friendships and unexpected romances, yes to seeing the world in a whole new way. This book is a fresh and fun take on the coming-of-age novel that explores the quintessential themes of growing up: taking risks, making mistakes, and, of course, love. And who knows? The Summer of Impossibilities by Rachael Allen Skyler, Ellie, Scarlett, and Amelia Grace are forced to spend the summer at the lake house where their moms became best friends. One can’t wait. One would rather gnaw off her own arm than hang out with a bunch of strangers just so their moms can drink too much wine and sing Journey at two o’clock in the morning. Two are sisters. Three are currently feuding with their mothers. One is hiding how bad her joint pain has gotten. All of them are hiding something. One falls in love with a boy she thought she despised. One almost sets her crush on fire with a flaming marshmallow. One has a crush that could change everything. None of them are the same at the end of the summer. 19 Atomic Women by Roseanne Montillo Bomb meets Code Girls in this nonfiction narrative about the little-known female scientists who were critical to the invention of the atomic bomb during World War II. They were leaning over the edge of the unknown and afraid of what they would discover there: Meet the World War II female scientists who worked in the secret sites of the Manhattan Project. Recruited not only from labs and universities from across the United States but also from countries abroad, these scientists helped in — and often initiated — the development of the atomic bomb, taking starring roles in the Manhattan Project. In fact, their involvement was critical to its success, though many of them were not fully aware of the consequences. The atomic women include: Lise Meitner and Irène Joliot-Curie (daughter of Marie Curie), who led the groundwork for the Manhattan Project from Europe; Elizabeth Rona, the foremost expert in plutonium, who gave rise to the “Fat Man” and “Little Boy,” the bombs dropped over Japan; Leona Woods, Elizabeth Graves, and Joan Hinton, who were inspired by European scientific ideals but carved their own paths. This book explores not just the critical steps toward the creation of a successful nuclear bomb, but also the moral implications of such an invention. *Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins Ambition will fuel him. Competition will drive him. But power has its price. It is the morning of the reaping that will kick off the tenth annual Hunger Games. In the Capitol, eighteen-year-old Coriolanus Snow is preparing for his one shot at glory as a mentor in the Games. The once-mighty house of Snow has fallen on hard times, its fate hanging on the slender chance that Coriolanus will be able to outcharm, outwit, and outmaneuver his fellow students to mentor the winning tribute. The odds are against him. He’s been given the humiliating assignment of mentoring the female tribute from District 12, the lowest of the low. Their fates are now completely intertwined — every choice Coriolanus makes could lead to favor or failure, triumph or ruin. Inside the arena, it will be a fight to the death. Outside the arena, Coriolanus starts to feel for his doomed tribute . . . and must weigh his need to follow the rules against his desire to survive no matter what it takes. Breath Like Water by Anna Jarzab Susannah Ramos has always loved the water. A swimmer whose early talent made her a world champion, Susannah was poised for greatness in a sport that demands so much of its young. But an inexplicable slowdown has put her dream in jeopardy, and Susannah is fighting to keep her career afloat when two important people enter her life: a new coach with a revolutionary training strategy, and a charming fellow swimmer named Harry Matthews. As Susannah begins her long and painful climb back to the top, her friendship with Harry blossoms into passionate and supportive love. But Harry is facing challenges of his own, and even as their bond draws them closer together, other forces work to tear them apart. As she struggles to balance her needs with those of the people who matter most to her, Susannah will learn the cost—and the beauty—of trying to achieve something extraordinary. Date Me, Bryson Keller by Kevin van Whye Everyone knows about the dare: Each week, Bryson Keller must date someone new–the first person to ask him out on Monday morning. Few think Bryson can do it. He may be the king of Fairvale Academy, but he’s never really dated before. Until a boy asks him out, and everything changes. Kai Sheridan didn’t expect Bryson to say yes. So when Bryson agrees to secretly go out with him, Kai is thrown for a loop. But as the days go by, he discovers there’s more to Bryson beneath the surface, and dating him begins to feel less like an act and more like the real thing. Kai knows how the story of a gay boy liking someone straight ends. With his heart on the line, he’s awkwardly trying to navigate senior year at school, at home, and in the closet, all while grappling with the fact that this “relationship” will last only five days. After all, Bryson Keller is popular, good-looking, and straight . . . right? Kevin van Whye delivers an uplifting and poignant coming-out love story that will have readers rooting for these two teens to share their hearts with the world–and with each other. I Am Here Now by Barbara Bottner Set in the 1960s, Barbara Bottner’s I Am Here Now is a beautiful novel in verse about one artist’s coming of age. It’s a heartbreaking, powerful and inspiring depiction of what it’s like to shatter your life―and piece it all back together. You can’t trust Life to give you decent parents, or beautiful eyes, a fine French accent or an outstanding flair for fashion. No, Life does what it wants. It’s sneaky as a thief. Maisie’s first day of High school should be exciting, but all she wants is to escape. Her world is lonely and chaotic, with an abusive mother and a father who’s rarely there to help. So when Maisie, who finds refuge in her art, meets the spirited Rachel and her mother, a painter, she catches a glimpse of a very different world―one full of life, creativity, and love―and latches on. But as she discovers her strengths through Rachel’s family, Maisie, increasingly desperate, finds herself risking new friendships, and the very future she’s searching for. Just a Boy and a Girl in a Little Canoe by Sarah Mlynowski Sam’s summer isn’t off to a great start. Her boyfriend, Eli, ditched her for a European backpacking trip, and now she’s a counselor at Camp Blue Springs: the summer camp her eleven-year-old self swore never to return to. Sam expects the next seven weeks to be a total disaster. That is, until she meets Gavin, the camp’s sailing instructor, who turns her expectations upside down. Gavin may have gotten the job just for his abs. Or that smile. Or the way he fills Sam’s free time with thrilling encounters—swimming under a cascade of stars, whispering secrets over s’mores, embarking on one (very precarious) canoe ride after dark. It’s absurd. After all, Sam loves Eli. But one totally absurd, completely off-the-wall summer may be just what Sam needs. And maybe, just maybe, it will teach her something about what she really wants. Poisoned Water: How The Citizens of Flint, Michigan, Fought For Their Lives and Warned The Nation by Candy J. Cooper and Marc Aronson In 2014, the residents of Flint, Michigan noticed that their water was a copper hue and smelled and tasted like sulfur. Some began using bottled water, but many of those who didn’t started to experience rashes, hair loss, and a frightening, dehabilitating illness. Still, city officials claimed water tests were normal. It wasn’t until nearly a year later when Flint resident Lee Ann Walters sent a water sample to the Environmental Protection Agency herself that the truth came out: the citizens of Flint where being poisoned by their own water supply. *This Coven Won’t Break by Isabel Sterling Hannah Walsh just wants to finish high school. It’s her senior year, so she should be focusing on classes, hanging out with her best friend, and flirting with her new girlfriend, Morgan. But it turns out surviving a murderous Witch Hunter doesn’t exactly qualify as a summer vacation, and now the rest of the Hunters seem more intent on destroying her magic than ever. When Hannah learns the Hunters have gone nationwide, armed with a serum capable of taking out entire covens at once, she’s desperate to help. Now, with witches across the country losing the most important thing they have – their power – Hannah could be their best shot at finally defeating the Hunters. After all, she’s one of the only witches to escape a Hunter with her magic intact. Or so everyone believes. Because as good as she is at faking it, doing even the smallest bit of magic leaves her in agony. The only person who can bring her comfort, who can make her power flourish, is Morgan. But Morgan’s magic is on the line, too, and if Hannah can’t figure out how to save her – and the rest of the witches – she’ll lose everything she’s ever known. And as the Hunters get dangerously close to their final target, will all the witches in Salem be enough to stop an enemy determined to destroy magic for good? We Are Not From Here by Jenny Torres Sanchez Pulga has his dreams. Chico has his grief. Pequeña has her pride. And these three teens have one another. But none of them have illusions about the town they’ve grown up in and the dangers that surround them. Even with the love of family, threats lurk around every corner. And when those threats become all too real, the trio knows they have no choice but to run: from their country, from their families, from their beloved home. Crossing from Guatemala through Mexico, they follow the route of La Bestia, the perilous train system that might deliver them to a better life – if they are lucky enough to survive the journey. With nothing but the bags on their backs and desperation drumming through their hearts, Pulga, Chico, and Pequeña know there is no turning back, despite the unknown that awaits them and the darkness that seems to follow wherever they go. 26 *The Archer at Dawn by Swati Teerdhala A stolen throne. A lost princess. A rescue mission to take back what’s theirs. For Kunal and Esha, finally working together as rebels, the upcoming Sun Mela provides the perfect guise for infiltrating King Vardaan’s vicious court. Kunal returns to his role as dedicated soldier, while Esha uses her new role as adviser to Prince Harun to seek allies for their rebel cause. A radical plan is underfoot to rescue Jansa’s long-lost Princess Reha—the key to the throne. But amidst the Mela games and glittering festivities, much more dangerous forces lie in wait. With the rebel’s entry into Vardaan’s court, a match has been lit, and long-held secrets will force Kunal and Esha to reconsider their loyalties—to their countries and to each other. Getting into the palace was the easy task; coming out together will be a battle for their lives. In book two of Swati Teerdhala’s epic fantasy trilogy, a kingdom will fall, a new ruler will rise, and all will burn. The Ballad of Ami Miles by Kristy Dallas Alley Raised in isolation at Heavenly Shepherd, her family’s trailer-dealership-turned-survival compound, Ami Miles knows that she was lucky to be born into a place of safety after the old world ended and the chaos began. But when her grandfather brings home a cold-eyed stranger, she realizes that her “destiny” as one of the few females capable of still bearing children isn’t something she’s ready to face. With the help of one of her aunts, she flees the only life she’s ever known and sets off on a quest to find her long-lost mother (and hopefully a mate of her own choosing). But as she journeys, Ami discovers many new things about the world…and about herself. The Black Flamingo by Dean Atta Michael is a mixed-race gay teen growing up in London. All his life, he’s navigated what it means to be Greek-Cypriot and Jamaican—but never quite feeling Greek or Black enough. As he gets older, Michael’s coming out is only the start of learning who he is and where he fits in. When he discovers the Drag Society, he finally finds where he belongs—and the Black Flamingo is born. Told with raw honesty, insight, and lyricism, this debut explores the layers of identity that make us who we are—and allow us to shine. *The Bone Thief by Breeana Shields A deft exploration of the weight of grief and cost of revenge, Breeana Shields’s Bone Charmerduology reaches its spine-tingling conclusion in this high-octane fantasy-thriller. Saskia returns to Ivory Hall to train in bone magic, determined to stop Latham from gaining the power of all three Sights—past, present, and future. But danger lurks within the fortress’s marrow. Trials are underway for the apprentices, and the tasks feel specifically engineered to torment Saskia, which is exactly what Latham wants. As she grows increasingly more suspicious, her thirst for revenge becomes all-consuming. Together with the friends she can trust and the boy she loved in another lifetime, Saskia traces clues from Latham’s past to determine what he’ll do next. Their search leads them across Kastelia and brings them to a workshop housing a vast collection of horrors, including the bones Latham stole from Gran, and the knowledge that the future isn’t all that’s in jeopardy—but the past as well. Camp by L.C. Rosen Sixteen-year-old Randy Kapplehoff loves spending the summer at Camp Outland, a camp for queer teens. It’s where he met his best friends. It’s where he takes to the stage in the big musical. And it’s where he fell for Hudson Aaronson-Lim — who’s only into straight-acting guys and barely knows not-at-all-straight-acting Randy even exists. This year, though, it’s going to be different. Randy has reinvented himself as ‘Del’ — buff, masculine, and on the market. Even if it means giving up show tunes, nail polish, and his unicorn bedsheets, he’s determined to get Hudson to fall for him. But as he and Hudson grow closer, Randy has to ask himself: How much is he willing to change for love? And is it really love anyway, if Hudson doesn’t know who he truly is? The Enigma Game by Elizabeth Wein 1940. Facing a seemingly endless war, fifteen-year-old Louisa Adair wants to fight back, make a difference, do something-anything to escape the Blitz and the ghosts of her parents, who were killed by enemy action. But when she accepts a position caring for an elderly German woman in the small village of Windyedge, Scotland, it hardly seems like a meaningful contribution. Still, the war feels closer than ever in Windyedge, where Ellen McEwen, a volunteer driver with the Royal Air Force, and Jamie Beaufort-Stuart, a flight leader for the 648 Squadron, are facing a barrage of unbreakable code and enemy attacks they can’t anticipate. Their paths converge when a German pilot lands in Windyedge under mysterious circumstances and plants a key that leads Louisa to an unparalleled discovery: an Enigma machine that translates German code. Louisa, Ellen, and Jamie must work together to unravel a puzzle that could turn the tide of the war? but doing so will put them directly in the cross-hairs of the enemy. Featuring beloved characters from Code Name Verity and The Pearl Thief, as well as a remarkable new voice, this brilliant, breathlessly plotted novel by award-winning author Elizabeth Wein is a must-read. The Fascinators by Andrew Eliopulos Living in a small town where magic is frowned upon, Sam needs his friends James and Delia—and their time together in their school’s magic club—to see him through to graduation. But as soon as senior year starts, little cracks in their group begin to show. Sam may or may not be in love with James. Delia is growing more frustrated with their amateur magic club. And James reveals that he got mixed up with some sketchy magickers over the summer, putting a target on all their backs. With so many fault lines threatening to derail his hopes for the year, Sam is forced to face the fact that the very love of magic that brought his group together is now tearing them apart—and there are some problems that no amount of magic can fix. The Friend Scheme by Cale Dietrich High schooler Matt’s father is rich, powerful, and seemingly untouchable—a mobster with high hopes that his son will follow in his footsteps. Matt’s older brother Lukas seems poised to do just that, with a bevy of hot girls in tow. But Matt has other ambitions—and attractions. And attraction sometimes doesn’t allow for good judgement. Matt wouldn’t have guessed that Jason, the son of the city’s police commissioner, is also carrying a secret. The boys’ connection turns romantic, a first for both. Now Matt must decide if he can ever do the impossible and come clean about who he really is, and who he is meant to love. *The Gilded Ones by Namina Forna The start of a bold and immersive West African-inspired, feminist fantasy series for fans of Children of Blood and Bone and Black Panther. In this world, girls are outcasts by blood and warriors by choice. Sixteen-year-old Deka lives in fear and anticipation of the blood ceremony that will determine whether she will become a member of her village. Already different from everyone else because of her unnatural intuition, Deka prays for red blood so she can finally feel like she belongs. But on the day of the ceremony, her blood runs gold, the color of impurity–and Deka knows she will face a consequence worse than death. Then a mysterious woman comes to her with a choice: stay in the village and submit to her fate, or leave to fight for the emperor in an army of girls just like her. They are called alaki–near-immortals with rare gifts. And they are the only ones who can stop the empire’s greatest threat. Knowing the dangers that lie ahead yet yearning for acceptance, Deka decides to leave the only life she’s ever known. But as she journeys to the capital to train for the biggest battle of her life, she will discover that the great walled city holds many surprises. Nothing and no one are quite what they seem to be–not even Deka herself. Home Home by Lisa Allen-Agostini Moving from Trinidad to Canada wasn’t her idea. But after being hospitalized for depression, her mother sees it as the only option. Now, living with an estranged aunt she barely remembers and dealing with her “troubles” in a foreign country, she feels more lost than ever. Everything in Canada is cold and confusing. No one says hello, no one walks anywhere, and bus trips are never-ending and loud. She just wants to be home home, in Trinidad, where her only friend is going to school and Sunday church service like she used to do. But this new home also brings unexpected surprises: the chance at a family that loves unconditionally, the possibility of new friends, and the promise of a hopeful future. Though she doesn’t see it yet, Canada is a place where she can feel at home–if she can only find the courage to be honest with herself. I Kissed Alice by Anna Birch Rhodes and Iliana couldn’t be more different, but that’s not why they hate each other. Rhodes, a gifted artist, has always excelled at Alabama’s Conservatory of the Arts (until she’s hit with a secret bout of creator’s block), while Iliana, a transfer student, tries to outshine everyone with her intense, competitive work ethic. Since only one of them can get the coveted Capstone scholarship, the competition between them is fierce. They both escape the pressure on a fanfic site where they are unknowingly collaborating on a webcomic. And despite being worst enemies in real life, their anonymous online identities I-Kissed-Alice and Curious-in-Cheshire are starting to like each other… a lot. When the truth comes out, will they destroy each other’s future? The Jewel Thief by Jeannie Mobley Her story begins . . . in Paris. The only daughter of the King’s crown jeweler, Juliette marvels at the large, deep-blue diamond Louis XIV has commanded her father to make shine like the sun. But Jean Pitau has never cut a diamond quite like this, and shaping it is a risky endeavor. As Jean spirals into depression, Juliette takes it upon herself to cut the stone, and with every misstep, brings her family closer to ruin. Her story resumes . . . in a cold, dark cell of the Bastille prison. Charged with stealing the King’s diamond, Juliette has but one chance to convince him that her motives were pure. If she fails, this night may very well be her last. Though, death wouldn’t be her worst fate. Because recording Juliette’s confession is René, a court-appointed scribe, and the man she loves. But René holds his own grudge against Juliette, and this is her one and only chance to win back his heart. Of Silver and Shadow by Jennifer Gruenke Ren Kolins is a silver wielder—a dangerous thing to be in the kingdom of Erdis, where magic has been outlawed for a century. Ren is just trying to survive, sticking to a life of petty thievery, card games, and pit fighting to get by. But when a wealthy rebel leader discovers her secret, he offers her a fortune to join his revolution. The caveat: she won’t see a single coin until they overthrow the King. Behind the castle walls, a brutal group of warriors known as the King’s Children is engaged in a competition: the first to find the rebel leader will be made King’s Fang, the right hand of the King of Erdis. And Adley Farre is hunting down the rebels one by one, torturing her way to Ren and the rebel leader, and the coveted King’s Fang title. But time is running out for all of them, including the youngest Prince of Erdis, who finds himself pulled into the rebellion. Political tensions have reached a boiling point, and Ren and the rebels must take the throne before war breaks out. Out: How To Be Your Authentic Self by Miles McKenna Activist Miles McKenna came out on his YouTube channel in 2017, documenting his transition to help other teens navigate their identities and take charge of their own coming-out stories. From that wisdom comes Out!, the ultimate coming-out survival guide. Find validation, inspiration, and support for your questions big and small—whether you’re exploring your identity or seeking to understand the experience of an awesome queer person in your life. Out Now: Queer We Go Again edited by Saundra Mitchell A follow-up to the critically acclaimed All Out anthology, Out Now features seventeen new short stories from amazing queer YA authors. Vampires crash prom…aliens run from the government…a president’s daughter comes into her own…a true romantic tries to soften the heart of a cynical social media influencer…a selkie and the sea call out to a lost soul. Teapots and barbershops…skateboards and VW vans…Street Fighter and Ares’s sword: Out Now has a story for every reader and surprises with each turn of the page! This essential and beautifully written modern-day collection features an intersectional and inclusive slate of authors and stories. The Paper Girls of Paris by Jordyn Taylor NOW: Sixteen-year-old Alice is spending the summer in Paris, but she isn’t there for pastries and walks along the Seine. When her grandmother passed away two months ago, she left Alice an apartment in France that no one knew existed. An apartment that has been locked for more than seventy years. Alice is determined to find out why the apartment was abandoned and why her grandmother never once mentioned the family she left behind when she moved to America after World War II. With the help of Paul, a charming Parisian student, she sets out to uncover the truth. However, the more time she spends digging through the mysteries of the past, the more she realizes there are secrets in the present that her family is still refusing to talk about. THEN: Sixteen-year-old Adalyn doesn’t recognize Paris anymore. Everywhere she looks, there are Nazis, and every day brings a new horror of life under the Occupation. When she meets Luc, the dashing and enigmatic leader of a resistance group, Adalyn feels she finally has a chance to fight back. But keeping up the appearance of being a much-admired socialite while working to undermine the Nazis is more complicated than she could have imagined. As the war goes on, Adalyn finds herself having to make more and more compromises—to her safety, to her reputation, and to her relationships with the people she loves the most. Parachutes by Kelly Yang They’re called parachutes: teenagers dropped off to live in private homes and study in the United States while their wealthy parents remain in Asia. Claire Wang never thought she’d be one of them, until her parents pluck her from her privileged life in Shanghai and enroll her at a high school in California. Suddenly she finds herself living in a stranger’s house, with no one to tell her what to do for the first time in her life. She soon embraces her newfound freedom, especially when the hottest and most eligible parachute, Jay, asks her out. Dani De La Cruz, Claire’s new host sister, couldn’t be less thrilled that her mom rented out a room to Claire. An academic and debate team star, Dani is determined to earn her way into Yale, even if it means competing with privileged kids who are buying their way to the top. But Dani’s game plan veers unexpectedly off course when her debate coach starts working with her privately. As they steer their own distinct paths, Dani and Claire keep crashing into one another, setting a course that will change their lives forever. The Ship We Built by Lexie Bean Sometimes I have trouble filling out tests when the name part feels like a test too. . . . When I write letters, I love that you have to read all of my thoughts and stories before I say any name at all. You have to make it to the very end to know. Rowan has too many secrets to write down in the pages of a diary. And if he did, he wouldn’t want anyone he knows to read them. He understands who he is and what he likes, but it’s not safe for others to find out. Now the kids at school say Rowan’s too different to spend time with. He’s not the “right kind” of girl, and he’s not the “right kind” of boy. His mom ignores him. And at night, his dad hurts him in ways he’s not ready to talk about yet. But Rowan discovers another way to share his secrets: letters. Letters he attaches to balloons and releases into the universe, hoping someone new will read them and understand. But when he befriends a classmate who knows what it’s like to be lonely and scared, even at home, Rowan realizes that there might already be a person he can trust right by his side. Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith Pony just wants to fly under the radar during senior year. Tired from all the attention he got at his old school after coming out as transgender, he’s looking for a fresh start at Hillcrest High. But it’s hard to live your best life when the threat of exposure lurks down every hallway and in every bathroom. Georgia is beginning to think there’s more to life than cheerleading. She plans on keeping a low profile until graduation…which is why she promised herself that dating was officially a no-go this year. Then, on the very first day of school, the new guy and the cheerleader lock eyes. How is Pony supposed to stay stealth when he wants to get close to a girl like Georgia? How is Georgia supposed to keep her promise when sparks start flying with a boy like Pony? The Sullivan Sisters by Kathryn Ormsbee Time changes things. That painful fact of life couldn’t be truer for the Sullivan sisters. Once, they used to be close, sharing secrets inside homemade blanket castles. Now, life in the Sullivan house means closed doors and secrets left untold. Fourteen-year-old Murphy, an aspiring magician, is shocked by the death of Siegfried, her pet turtle. Seventeen-year-old Claire is bound for better things than her Oregonian hometown—until she receives a crushing rejection from her dream college. And eighteen-year-old Eileen is nursing a growing addiction in the wake of life-altering news. Then, days before Christmas, a letter arrives, informing the sisters of a dead uncle and an inheritance they knew nothing about. The news forces them to band together in the face of a sinister family mystery…and, possibly, murder. The Sullivan Sisters is an unforgettable novel about the ghosts of the past, the power of connection, and the bonds of sisterhood. Unstoppable Wasp by Sam Maggs Nadia Van Dyne is new to this. New to being a Super Hero, new to being a real friend and stepdaughter (to one of the founding Avengers, no less), new to running her own lab, and new to being her own person, far, far away from the clutches of the Red Room-the infamous brainwashing/assassin-training facility. She’s adjusting well to all of this newness, channeling her energy into being a good friend, a good scientist, and a good Super Hero. It’s taking a toll, though, and Nadia’s finding that there are never quite enough hours in a day. So, when she’s gifted a virtual assistant powered by the most cutting-edge A.I. technology that the world has to offer, Nadia jumps at the opportunity to “do less, experience more”-just like the advertisements say. The device works-really works. Nadia has more time to pursue her passion projects and to focus on new discoveries. But it’s never quite that simple, and not everything is as it seems. This thrilling adventure finds Nadia confronting her past as she tries to shape her future, and learning that sometimes the best way to effect big change is to think small-maybe even super small, Unstoppable Wasp-style. She’ll need the help of her genius G.I.R.L. (Genius In action Research Labs) squad and found family to save herself and (not to be too dramatic) the entire world as we know it. Along the way, Nadia discovers that when she teams up with the people who love her the most, they’re totally Unstoppable. Just another day in the life of your way, way above average teenage Super Hero. June 2 Again, Again by E. Lockhart If you could live your life again, what would you do differently? After a near-fatal family catastrophe and an unexpected romantic upheaval, Adelaide Buchwald finds herself catapulted into a summer of wild possibility, during which she will fall in and out of love a thousand times–while finally confronting the secrets she keeps, her ideas about love, and the weird grandiosity of the human mind. A raw, funny story that will surprise you over and over, Again Again gives us an indelible heroine grappling with the terrible and wonderful problem of loving other people. All Eyes on Her by L.E. Flynn You heard the story on the news. A girl and a boy went into the woods. The girl carried a picnic basket. The boy wore bright yellow running shoes. The girl found her way out, but the boy never did… Everyone thinks they know what happened. Some say Tabby pushed him off that cliff— she didn’t even like hiking. She was jealous. She had more than her share of demons. Others think he fell accidentally—she loved Mark. She would never hurt him…even if he hurt her. But what’s the real story? All Eyes On Her is told from everyone but Tabby herself as the people in her life string together the events that led Tabby to that cliff. Her best friend. Her sister. Her enemy. Her ex-boyfriend. Because everybody thinks they know a girl better than she knows herself. What do you think is the truth? Beyond The Break by Heather Buchta Manhattan Beach native Lovette has two rules in life. One: no surfing. Not after her brother’s accident. Two: absolutely, no dating. And going into her junior year of high school, she’s pretty happy with that arrangement. She has friends, her church youth group, and God to fall back on when things get dicey. But after Jake Evans walks into her life, following these two simple rules gets a lot more complicated. Jake is the boy from Lovette’s childhood who grew up. Handsome and sweet, he unlocks the part of Lovette that wants nothing more than to surf the waves again. And as their relationship grows, she begins to question what it means to be faithful: to her family, to God, but mostly, to herself. Told with humor and heart, Heather Buchta delivers a sparkling debut that asks the question: Can you fall in love, be a teenager, and also be a good Christian? Burn by Patrick Ness On a cold Sunday evening in early 1957, Sarah Dewhurst waited with her father in the parking lot of the Chevron gas station for the dragon he’d hired to help on the farm… Sarah Dewhurst and her father, outcasts in their little town of Frome, Washington, are forced to hire a dragon to work their farm, something only the poorest of the poor ever have to resort to. The dragon, Kazimir, has more to him than meets the eye, though. Sarah can’t help but be curious about him, an animal who supposedly doesn’t have a soul but who is seemingly intent on keeping her safe. Because the dragon knows something she doesn’t. He has arrived at the farm with a prophecy on his mind. A prophecy that involves a deadly assassin, a cult of dragon worshippers, two FBI agents in hot pursuit—and somehow, Sarah Dewhurst herself.  *The Damned by Renée Ahdieh Following the events of The Beautiful, Sébastien Saint Germain is now cursed and forever changed. The treaty between the Fallen and the Brotherhood has been broken, and war between the immortals seems imminent. The price of loving Celine was costly. But Celine has also paid a high price for loving Bastien. Still recovering from injuries sustained during a night she can’t quite remember, her dreams are troubled. And she doesn’t know she has inadvertently set into motion a chain of events that could lead to her demise and unveil a truth about herself she’s not ready to learn. Forces hiding in the shadows have been patiently waiting for this moment. And just as Bastien and Celine begin to uncover the danger around them, they learn their love could tear them apart.  The Damned, Renée’s latest installment in The Beautiful series is just as decadent, thrilling, and mysterious as her last, as she continues her most potent fantasy series yet. The Dark Tide by Alicia Jasinska Every year on St. Walpurga’s Eve, Caldella’s Witch Queen lures a boy back to her palace. An innocent life to be sacrificed on the full moon to keep the island city from sinking. Lina Kirk is convinced her brother is going to be taken this year. To save him, she enlists the help of Thomas Lin, the boy she secretly loves, and the only person to ever escape from the palace. But they draw the queen’s attention, and Thomas is chosen as the sacrifice. Queen Eva watched her sister die to save the boy she loved. Now as queen, she won’t make the same mistake. She’s willing to sacrifice anyone if it means saving herself and her city. When Lina offers herself to the queen in exchange for Thomas’s freedom, the two girls await the full moon together. But Lina is not at all what Eva expected, and the queen is nothing like Lina envisioned. Against their will, they find themselves falling for each other. As water floods Caldella’s streets and the dark tide demands its sacrifice, they must choose who to save: themselves, each other, or the island city relying on them both. *Greythorne by Crystal Smith Princess Aurelia’s life is upended when the kingdom she thought she saved falls to ruin, a loved one is tragically killed in a shipwreck, and her home country turns against her. With no place left to call her own, Aurelia returns to Greythorne Manor—her best friend’s family mansion—only to find that Greythorne has sinister secrets of its own. With enemies closing in on all sides, Aurelia is caught in a mad fight to protect the only people she has left—her family. In her darkest moments, when all seems grim, will Aurelia find a spark of hope from a love she thought long lost? I Killed Zoe Spanos by Kit Frick What happened to Zoe won’t stay buried…. When Anna Cicconi arrives to the small Hamptons village of Herron Mills for a summer nanny gig, she has high hopes for a fresh start. What she finds instead is a community on edge after the disappearance of Zoe Spanos, a local girl who has been missing since New Year’s Eve. Anna bears an eerie resemblance to Zoe, and her mere presence in town stirs up still-raw feelings about the unsolved case. As Anna delves deeper into the mystery, stepping further and further into Zoe’s life, she becomes increasingly convinced that she and Zoe are connected – and that she knows what happened to her. Two months later, Zoe’s body is found in a nearby lake, and Anna is charged with manslaughter. But Anna’s confession is riddled with holes, and Martina Green, teen host of the Missing Zoe podcast, isn’t satisfied. Did Anna really kill Zoe? And if not, can Martina’s podcast uncover the truth? Inspired by Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca, Kit Frick weaves a thrilling story of psychological suspense that twists and turns until the final minute. If We Were Us by K. L. Walther Everyone at the prestigious Bexley School believes that Sage Morgan and Charlie Carmichael are meant to be. Even though Charlie seems to have a new girlfriend every month, and Sage has never had a real relationship, their friends and family all know it’s just a matter of time until they realize that they are actually in love. When Luke Morrissey shows up on the Bexley campus his presence immediately shakes things up. Charlie and Luke are drawn to each other the moment they meet, giving Sage the opportunity to steal away to spend time with Charlie’s twin brother, Nick. But Charlie is afraid of what others will think if he accepts that he has much more than a friendship with Luke, that he’s never felt this way before. And Sage fears that if she lets things with Nick get too serious too quickly, they won’t be able to last as a couple outside of high school and miss their chance at forever. The duo will need to rely on each other and their lifelong friendship to figure things out with the boys they love. *Igniting Darkness by Robin LaFevers When you count Death as a friend, who can stand as your enemy? Sybella, novitiate of the convent of Saint Mortain and Death’s vengeance on earth, is still reeling from her God’s own passing, and along with him a guiding hand in her bloody work. But with her sisters on the run from their evil brother and under the watchful eye of her one true friend (and love) at court, the soldier known as Beast, Sybella stands alone as the Duchess of Brittany’s protector. After months of seeking her out, Sybella has finally made contact with a fellow novitiate of the convent, Genevieve, a mole in the French court. But Sybella, having already drawn the ire of the French regent, may not be able to depend on her sister and ally as much as she hoped. Still, Death always finds a way, even if it’s not what one expects. No one can be trusted and the wolves are always waiting in this thrilling conclusion to the Courting Darkness duology, set in the world of Robin’s beloved His Fair Assassin trilogy. Jo and Laurie by Margaret Stohl and Melissa de la Cruz 1869, Concord, Massachusetts: After the publication of her first novel, Jo March is shocked to discover her book of scribbles has become a bestseller, and her publisher and fans demand a sequel. While pressured into coming up with a story, she goes to New York with her dear friend Laurie for a week of inspiration–museums, operas, and even a once-in-a-lifetime reading by Charles Dickens himself! But Laurie has romance on his mind, and despite her growing feelings, Jo’s desire to remain independent leads her to turn down his heartfelt marriage proposal and sends the poor boy off to college heartbroken. When Laurie returns to Concord with a sophisticated new girlfriend, will Jo finally communicate her true heart’s desire or lose the love of her life forever? Kissing Lessons by Sophie Jordan Wild, beautiful, and (as rumor has it) experienced, Hayden Vargas doesn’t have time for love or relationships. She’s learned the hard way that the only person you can count on is yourself, and she’s hell-bent on earning enough money to leave her small, judgy Texas town as fast as possible. So when nerdy Emmaline Martin offers to pay Hayden for lessons in seduction, the money is so easy, there must be a catch. Enter the catch: Emmaline’s older brother, popular, all-around nice guy™ Nolan Martin, who doesn’t want his sister’s reputation tarnished by the school’s resident bad girl. But Hayden should know that looks can be deceiving. Nolan may seem like a golden boy, but like Hayden, he has a few secrets of his own. And the more he meddles in her lessons with Emmaline, the more these polar opposites clash—and the more sparks fly. Turns out Nolan may have some lessons to teach Hayden, but only if she’s willing to learn. *My Calamity Jane by Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, Jodi Meadows Welcome to 1876 America, a place bursting with gunslingers, outlaws, and garou—better known as werewolves. And where there are garou, there’re hunters: the one and only Calamity Jane, to be precise, along with her fellow stars of Wild Bill’s Traveling Show, Annie Oakley and Frank “the Pistol Prince” Butler. After a garou hunt goes south and Jane finds a suspicious-like bite on her arm, she turns tail for Deadwood, where there’s talk of a garou cure. But rumors can be deceiving��meaning the gang better hightail it after her before they’re a day late and a Jane short. In this perfect next read for fans of A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, bestselling authors Cynthia Hand, Jodi Meadows, and Brodi Ashton bring their signature spark to the side-splittin’, whopper-filled (but actually kind of factual?) tale of Calamity Jane. My Summer of Love and Misfortune by Lindsay Wong Iris Wang is having a bit of a rough start to her summer: Her boyfriend cheated on her, she didn’t get into any colleges, and she has no idea who she is or what she wants to do with her life. She’s always felt torn about being Chinese-American, feeling neither Chinese nor American enough to claim either identity. She’s just a sad pizza combo from Domino’s, as far as she’s concerned. In an attempt to snap her out of her funk, Iris’s parents send her away to visit family in Beijing, with the hopes that Iris would “reconnect with her culture” and “find herself.” Iris resents the condescension, but even she admits that this might be a good opportunity to hit the reset button on the apocalyptic disaster that has become her life. With this trip, Iris expects to eat a few dumplings, meet some family, and visit a tourist hotspot or two. Instead, she gets swept up in the ridiculous, opulent world of Beijing’s wealthy elite, leading her to unexpected and extraordinary discoveries about her family, her future, and herself. Now That I’ve Found You by Kristina Forest Following in the footsteps of her überfamous grandma, eighteen-year-old Evie Jones is poised to be Hollywood’s next big star. That is until a close friend’s betrayal leads to her being blacklisted . . . Fortunately, Evie knows just the thing to save her floundering career: a public appearance with America’s most beloved actress―her grandma Gigi, aka the Evelyn Conaway. The only problem? Gigi is a recluse who’s been out of the limelight for almost twenty years. Days before Evie plans to present her grandma with an honorary award in front of Hollywood’s elite, Gigi does the unthinkable: she disappears. With time running out and her comeback on the line, Evie reluctantly enlists the help of the last person to see Gigi before she vanished: Milo Williams, a cute musician Evie isn’t sure she can trust. As Evie and Milo conduct a wild manhunt across New York City, romance and adventure abound while Evie makes some surprising discoveries about her grandma―and herself. Six Angry Girls by Adrienne Kisner Raina Petree is crushing her senior year, until her boyfriend dumps her, the drama club (basically) dumps her, the college of her dreams slips away, and her arch-nemesis triumphs. Things aren’t much better for Millie Goodwin. Her father treats her like a servant, and the all-boy Mock Trial team votes her out, even after she spent the last three years helping to build its success. But then, an advice columnist unexpectedly helps Raina find new purpose in a pair of knitting needles and a politically active local yarn store. This leads to an unlikely meeting in the girls’ bathroom, where Raina inspires Millie to start a rival team. The two join together and recruit four other angry girls to not only take on Mock Trial, but to smash the patriarchy in the process. Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A. Brown For Malik, the Solstasia festival is a chance to escape his war-stricken home and start a new life with his sisters in the prosperous desert city of Ziran. But when a vengeful spirit abducts his younger sister, Nadia, as payment to enter the city, Malik strikes a fatal deal—kill Karina, Crown Princess of Ziran, for Nadia’s freedom. But Karina has deadly aspirations of her own. Her mother, the Sultana, has been assassinated; her court threatens mutiny; and Solstasia looms like a knife over her neck. Grief-stricken, Karina decides to resurrect her mother through ancient magic . . . requiring the beating heart of a king. And she knows just how to obtain one: by offering her hand in marriage to the victor of the Solstasia competition. When Malik rigs his way into the contest, they are set on a heart-pounding course to destroy each other. But as attraction flares between them and ancient evils stir, will they be able to see their tasks to the death? The State of Us by Shaun David Hutchinson When Dean Arnault’s mother decided to run for president, it wasn’t a surprise to anyone, least of all her son. But still that doesn’t mean Dean wants to be part of the public spectacle that is the race for the White House—at least not until he meets Dre. The only problem is that Dre Rosario’s on the opposition; he’s the son of the Democratic nominee. But as Dean and Dre’s meet-ups on the campaign trail become less left to chance, their friendship quickly becomes a romantic connection unlike any either of the boys have ever known. If it wasn’t hard enough falling in love across the aisle, the political scheming of a shady third-party candidate could cause Dean and Dre’s world to explode around them. *Where Dreams Descend by Janella Angeles In a city covered in ice and ruin, a group of magicians face off in a daring game of magical feats to find the next headliner of the Conquering Circus, only to find themselves under the threat of an unseen danger striking behind the scenes. As each act becomes more and more risky and the number of missing magicians piles up, three are forced to reckon with their secrets before the darkness comes for them next. The Star: Kallia, a powerful showgirl out to prove she’s the best no matter the cost The Master: Jack, the enigmatic keeper of the club, and more than one lie told The Magician: Demarco, the brooding judge with a dark past he can no longer hide Where Dreams Descend is the startling and romantic first book in Janella Angeles’ debut Kingdom of Cards fantasy duology where magic is both celebrated and feared, and no heart is left unscathed. Where We Go From Here by Lucas Rocha, translated by Larissa Helena Ian has just been diagnosed with HIV. Victor, to his great relief, has tested negative. Henrique has been living with HIV for the past three years. When Victor finds himself getting tested for HIV for the first time, he can’t help but question his entire relationship with Henrique, the guy he has — had — been dating. See, Henrique didn’t disclose his positive HIV status to Victor until after they had sex, and even though Henrique insisted on using every possible precaution, Victor is livid. That’s when Victor meets Ian, a guy who’s also getting tested for HIV. But Ian’s test comes back positive, and his world is about to change forever. Though Victor is loath to think about Henrique, he offers to put the two of them in touch, hoping that perhaps Henrique can help Ian navigate his new life. In the process, the lives of Ian, Victor, and Henrique will become intertwined in a story of friendship, love, and self-acceptance. Set in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, this utterly engrossing debut by Brazilian author Lucas Rocha calls back to Alex Sanchez’s Rainbow Boys series, bringing attention to how far we’ve come with HIV, while shining a harsh light on just how far we have yet to go. You Don’t Live Here by Robyn Schneider In Southern California, no one lives more than thirty miles from the nearest fault line. Sasha Bloom is standing right on top of one when her world literally crumbles around her. With her mother now dead and father out of the picture, Sasha moves in with her estranged grandparents. Living in her mom’s old bedroom, Sasha has no idea who she is anymore. Luckily, her grandparents are certain they know who she should be: A lawyer in the making. Ten pounds skinnier. In a socially advantageous relationship with a boy from a good family—a boy like Cole Edwards. And Cole has ideas for who Sasha should be, too. His plus one at lunch. His girlfriend. His. Sasha tries to make everything work, but that means folding away her love of photography, her grief for her mother, and he growing interest in the magnificently clever Lily Chen. Sasha wants to follow Lily off the beaten path, to discover hidden beaches, secret menus, and the truth about dinosaur pee. But being friends with Lily might lead somewhere new. Is Sasha willing to stop being the girl everyone expects and let the girl beneath the surface breath through? You Should See Me In A Crown by Leah Johnson Liz Lighty has always believed she’s too black, too poor, too awkward to shine in her small, rich, prom-obsessed midwestern town. But it’s okay — Liz has a plan that will get her out of Campbell, Indiana, forever: attend the uber-elite Pennington College, play in their world-famous orchestra, and become a doctor. But when the financial aid she was counting on unexpectedly falls through, Liz’s plans come crashing down . . . until she’s reminded of her school’s scholarship for prom king and queen. There’s nothing Liz wants to do less than endure a gauntlet of social media trolls, catty competitors, and humiliating public events, but despite her devastating fear of the spotlight she’s willing to do whatever it takes to get to Pennington. The only thing that makes it halfway bearable is the new girl in school, Mack. She’s smart, funny, and just as much of an outsider as Liz. But Mack is also in the running for queen. Will falling for the competition keep Liz from her dreams . . . or make them come true? 9 Agnes at the End of the World by Kelly McWilliams Agnes loves her home of Red Creek — its quiet, sunny mornings, its dusty roads, and its God. There, she cares tirelessly for her younger siblings and follows the town’s strict laws. What she doesn’t know is that Red Creek is a cult, controlled by a madman who calls himself a prophet. Then Agnes meets Danny, an Outsider boy, and begins to question what is and isn’t a sin. Her younger brother, Ezekiel, will die without the insulin she barters for once a month, even though medicine is considered outlawed. Is she a sinner for saving him? Is her sister, Beth, a sinner for dreaming of the world beyond Red Creek? As the Prophet grows more dangerous, Agnes realizes she must escape with Ezekiel and leave everyone else, including Beth, behind. But it isn’t safe Outside, either: A viral pandemic is burning through the population at a terrifying rate. As Agnes ventures forth, a mysterious connection grows between her and the Virus. But in a world where faith, miracles, and cruelty have long been indistinguishable, will Agnes be able to choose between saving her family and saving the world? All The Things We Never Knew by Liara Tamani From the moment Carli and Rex first locked eyes on a Texas high school basketball court, they both knew it was destiny. But can you truly love someone else if you don’t love yourself? Acclaimed author Liara Tamani’s luminous second novel explores love, family, heartbreak, betrayal, and the power of healing, in gorgeous prose that will appeal to readers of Nicola Yoon and Jacqueline Woodson. A glance was all it took. That kind of connection, the immediate and raw understanding of another person, just doesn’t come along very often. And as rising stars on their Texas high schools’ respective basketball teams, destined for bright futures in college and beyond, it seems like a match made in heaven. But Carli and Rex have secrets. As do their families. Liara Tamani, the author of the acclaimed Calling My Name, follows two teenagers as they discover how first love, heartbreak, betrayal, and family can shape you–for better or for worse. A novel full of pain, joy, healing, and hope for fans of Elizabeth Acevedo, Jacqueline Woodson, and Jenny Han. *The Boundless by Anna Bright When Selah found true love with Prince Torden of Norway, she never imagined she’d have to leave him behind. All because the Beholder’s true mission was a secret Selah’s crew didn’t trust her to keep: transporting weapons to the rebels fighting against the brutal tsarytsya, whose shadow looms over their next port of Shvartsval’d. A place Selah hoped she’d never go. But gone is the girl who departed Potomac filled with fear. With a stockpile of weapons belowdecks and her heart hanging in the balance, Selah is determined to see the Beholder’s quest to its end. Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can’t get rid of him. Bestowed by the ancient goddess of death, Yadriel and the gifted members of his Latinx community can see spirits: women have the power to heal bodies and souls, while men can release lost spirits to the afterlife. But Yadriel, a trans boy, has never been able to perform the tasks of the brujas – because he is a brujo. When his cousin suddenly dies, Yadriel becomes determined to prove himself a real brujo. With the help of his cousin and best friend Maritza, he performs the ritual himself, and then sets out to find the ghost of his murdered cousin and set it free. However, the ghost he summons is not his cousin. It’s Julian Diaz, the resident bad boy of his high school, and Julian is not about to go quietly into death. He’s determined to find out what happened and tie off some loose ends before he leaves. Left with no choice, Yadriel agrees to help Julian, so that they can both get what they want. But the longer Yadriel spends with Julian, the less he wants to let him leave. Chasing Starlight by Teri Bailey Black 1938. The Golden Age of Hollywood. Palm trees and movie stars. Film studios pumping out musicals, westerns, and gangster films at a furious pace. Everyone wants to be a star―except society girl and aspiring astronomer Kate Hildebrand, who’d rather study them in the night sky. She’s already famous after a childhood tragedy turned her into a newspaper headline. What she craves is stability. But when Kate has to move to Hollywood to live with her washed-up silent film star grandfather, she walks into a murder scene and finds herself on the front page again. She suspects one of the young men boarding in her grandfather’s run-down mansion is the killer―maybe even her grandfather. She searches for clues. Now, Kate must discover the killer while working on the set of a musical―and falling in love. Will her stars align so she can catch the murderer and live the dream in Old Hollywood? Or will she find that she’s just chasing starlight? The Falling in Love Montage by Ciara Smyth Seventeen-year-old cynic Saoirse Clarke isn’t looking for a relationship. But when she meets mischievous Ruby, that rule goes right out the window. Sort of. Because Ruby has a loophole in mind: a summer of all the best cliché movie montage dates, with a definite ending come fall—no broken hearts, no messy breakup. It would be the perfect plan, if they weren’t forgetting one thing about the Falling in Love Montage: when it’s over, the characters have fallen in love…for real. Ciara Smyth’s debut is a delightful, multilayered YA rom-com that will make you laugh, cry, and absolutely fall in love. Followers by Raziel Reid After a disastrous date results in her arrest, sixteen-year-old Lily Rhode is horrified to discover her mugshot is leaked on a gossip website. Lily is the niece of Whitney Paley, a Hollywood housewife and star of reality show Platinum Triangle, a soap-opera-style docu-series in the vein of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and The Hills, revolving around several glamorous families living in the Beverly Hills, Bel Air and Holmby Hills neighborhoods of Los Angeles. When Lily’s mom kicks her out of their trailer home in the Valley, Whitney (Lily’s mom’s estranged sister) invites her to live with her, her movie-star husband, Patrick, and their daughter, Hailey. Lily is set up in the pool house and thrust into the company of reality-star offspring — kids who are born with silver spoon emojis on their feed. Lily’s cousin Hailey and the other teens have lived their entire lives on camera and are masters of deception, with Hailey leading the pack. As Lily learns from the Paleys how to navigate her newfound fame, she finds herself ensnared in the unfolding storylines. What Lily doesn’t know is that she’s just a pawn being used on the show to make the Paleys look sympathetic to viewers while distracting from on-set sexual misconduct rumors surrounding super hero dad Patrick Paley . . . Is Lily safe under Patrick’s roof? Or will Lily be Patrick’s downfall? If she isn’t destroyed by Hailey first. When Lily catches the eye of Hailey’s designated leading man Joel Strom — it’s war! Half Life by Lillian Clark There aren’t enough hours in the day for Lucille–perfectionist, overachiever–to do everything she has to do, and there certainly aren’t enough hours to hang out with friends, fall in love, get in trouble–all the teenage things she knows she should want to be doing instead of preparing for a flawless future. So when she sees an ad for Life2: Do more. Be more, she’s intrigued. The company is looking for beta testers to enroll in an experimental clone program, and in the aftermath of a series of disappointments, Lucille is feeling reckless enough to jump in. At first, it’s perfect: her clone, Lucy, is exactly what she needed to make her life manageable and have time for a social life. But it doesn’t take long for Lucy to become more Lucy and less Lucille, and Lucille is forced to stop looking at Lucy as a reflection and start seeing her as a window–a glimpse at someone else living her own life, but better. Lucy does what she really wants to, not what she thinks she should want to, and Lucille is left wondering how much she was even a part of the perfect life she’d constructed for herself. Lucille wanted Lucy to help her relationships with everyone else, but how can she do that without first rectifying her relationship with herself? Hood by Jenny Elder Moke You have the blood of kings and rebels within you, love. Let it rise to meet the call. Isabelle of Kirklees has only ever known a quiet life inside the sheltered walls of the convent, where she lives with her mother, Marien. But after she is arrested by royal soldiers for defending innocent villagers, Isabelle becomes the target of the Wolf, King John’s ruthless right hand. Desperate to keep her daughter safe, Marien helps Isabelle escape and sends her on a mission to find the one person who can help: Isabelle’s father, Robin Hood. As Isabelle races to stay out of the Wolf’s clutches and find the father she’s never known, she is thrust into a world of thieves and mercenaries, handsome young outlaws, new enemies with old grudges, and a king who wants her entire family dead. As she joins forces with Robin and his Merry Men in a final battle against the Wolf, will Isabelle find the strength to defy the crown and save the lives of everyone she holds dear? The Mall by Megan McCafferty The year is 1991. Scrunchies, mixtapes and 90210 are, like, totally fresh. Cassie Worthy is psyched to spend the summer after graduation working at the Parkway Center Mall. In six weeks, she and her boyfriend head off to college in NYC to fulfill The Plan: higher education and happily ever after. But you know what they say about the best laid plans… Set entirely in a classic “monument to consumerism,” the novel follows Cassie as she finds friendship, love, and ultimately herself, in the most unexpected of places. Megan McCafferty, beloved New York Times bestselling author of the Jessica Darling series, takes readers on an epic trip back in time to The Mall. *Rage and Ruin by Jennifer L. Armentrout Half-angel Trinity and her bonded gargoyle protector, Zayne, have been working with demons to stop the apocalypse while avoiding falling in love. The Harbinger is coming…but who or what is it? All of humankind may fall if Trinity and Zayne can’t win the race against time as dark forces gather. As tensions rise, they must stay close together and patrol the DC streets at night, seeking signs of the Harbinger, an entity that is killing Wardens and demons with no seeming rhyme or reason. Forbidden to be with each other, Zayne and Trinity fight their feelings and turn to unusual sources for help—the demon Roth and his cohorts. But as deaths pile up and they uncover a sinister plot involving the local high school and endangering someone dear to Zayne, Trin realizes she is being led…herded…played for some unknown end. As anger builds and feelings spiral out of control, it becomes clear that rage may be the ruin of them all. *The Shadow Wand by Laurie Forest HER WORLD-ALTERING SECRET CAN’T BE HIDDEN MUCH LONGER Elloren Gardner hides the most powerful secret in all Erthia—she is the Black Witch of Prophecy, and destined to triumph…or be used as the ultimate weapon of destruction. Separated from everyone she loves, isolated and hunted, Elloren must turn to the last person she can trust—her fastmate, Commander Lukas Grey. With the Mage forces of Gardneria poised to conquer all of Erthia, Elloren has no choice but to ally with Lukas and combine their power to keep herself out of the hands of Gardnerian leader Marcus Vogel…the holder of the all-consuming Shadow Wand. With just weeks to train to become a warrior, and no control over her magic, Elloren finds unexpected allies among those under orders to kill her. It’s time to step up. To fight back. And to forge onward through the most devastating loss yet. This Is All Your Fault by Aminah Mae Safi Rinn Olivera is finally going to tell her longtime crush AJ that she’s in love with him. Daniella Korres writes poetry for her own account, but nobody knows it’s her. Imogen Azar is just trying to make it through the day. When Rinn, Daniella, and Imogen clock into work at Wild Nights Bookstore on the first day of summer, they’re expecting the hours to drift by the way they always do. Instead, they have to deal with the news that the bookstore is closing. Before the day is out, there’ll be shaved heads, a diva author, and a very large shipment of Air Jordans to contend with. And it will take all three of them working together if they have any chance to save Wild Nights Bookstore. We Are Not Free by Traci Chee “All around me, my friends are talking, joking, laughing. Outside is the camp, the barbed wire, the guard towers, the city, the country that hates us.  We are not free.  But we are not alone.”   From New York Times best-selling and acclaimed author Traci Chee comes We Are Not Free, the collective account of a tight-knit group of young Nisei, second-generation Japanese American citizens, whose lives are irrevocably changed by the mass U.S. incarcerations of World War II. Fourteen teens who have grown up together in Japantown, San Francisco. Fourteen teens who form a community and a family, as interconnected as they are conflicted. Fourteen teens whose lives are turned upside down when over 100,000 people of Japanese ancestry are removed from their homes and forced into desolate incarceration camps. In a world that seems determined to hate them, these young Nisei must rally together as racism and injustice threaten to pull them apart. 16 Call Me American by Abdi Nor Iftin Adapted from the adult memoir, this gripping story follows one boy’s journey into young adulthood and offers an intimate account of modern immigraiton.  Abdi Nor Iftin grew up amidst a blend of cultures, far from the United States. At home in Somalia, his mother entertained him with vivid folktales and bold stories detailing her rural, nomadic upbrinding. As he grew older, he spent his days following his father, a basketball player, through the bustling street of the capital city of Mogadishu. But when the threat of civil war reached Abdi’s doorstep, his family was forced to flee to safety. Through the turbulent years of war, young Abdi found solace in popular American music and films. Nicknamed Abdi the American, he developed a proficiency for English that connected him–and his story–with news outlets and radio shows, and eventually gave him a shot at winning the annual U.S. visa lottery. Abdi shares every part of his journey, and his courageous account reminds readers that everyone deserves the chance to build a brighter future for themselves. *Fake Plastic World by Zara Lisbon How badly do you want to be famous? What―or who―would you sacrifice? These are the questions Justine Childs is forced to reckon with as the main suspect in the murder of It-girl Eva-Kate Kelly. Not long ago, Eva-Kate drew Justine into her orbit before meeting her untimely end in a Venice Beach canal. Prosecutors and the public want to know: Did Justine, now a social media darling in her own right, kill her celebrity best friend? Can anyone be trusted to tell the truth? Justine has always wanted people to know her name―but not all notoriety is created equal. The Forest Queen by Betsy Cornwell When sixteen-year-old Silvie’s brother takes over management of their family’s vast estates, Silvie feels powerless to stop his abuse of the local commoners. Her dearest friend asks her to run away to the woods with him, and soon a host of other villagers join them. Together, they form their own community and fight to right the wrongs perpetrated by the king and his noblemen. Perfect for fans of fairy tale retellings or anyone who loves a strong female lead, this gorgeously written take on the Robin Hood tale goes beyond the original’s focus on economic justice to explore love, gender, the healing power of nature, and what it means to be a family. *I’ll Be The One by Lyla Lee Skye Shin has heard it all. Fat girls shouldn’t dance. Wear bright colors. Shouldn’t call attention to themselves. But Skye dreams of joining the glittering world of K-Pop, and to do that, she’s about to break all the rules that society, the media, and even her own mother, have set for girls like her. She’ll challenge thousands of other performers in an internationally televised competition looking for the next K-pop star, and she’ll do it better than anyone else. When Skye nails her audition, she’s immediately swept into a whirlwind of countless practices, shocking performances, and the drama that comes with reality TV. What she doesn’t count on are the highly fat-phobic beauty standards of the Korean pop entertainment industry, her sudden media fame and scrutiny, or the sparks that soon fly with her fellow competitor, Henry Cho. But Skye has her sights on becoming the world’s first plus-sized K-pop star, and that means winning the competition—without losing herself. The Kinder Poison by Natalie Mae In the magical kingdom of Orkena, Zahru has long dreamed of a life beyond the desert, even though she knows her lowly position as a stable girl who can commune with animals will never afford her such a luxury. All that changes when the ailing ruler invokes an ancient tradition known as the Crossing. It’s a death-defying race across the desert, in which the first of his heirs to finish–and take the life of a human sacrifice at the journey’s end–will ascend to the throne and be granted unparalleled abilities. As preparations and celebrations commence, Zahru jumps at the chance to experience a small taste of glamour by sneaking into the palace. But the minor indiscretion quickly turns into the worst mistake of her life as she gets caught up in a feud between the heirs and is ultimately forced to become the Crossing’s human sacrifice. Zahru is left with only one hope for survival: somehow figuring out how to overcome the most powerful people in the world. Sarah Bernhardt: The Divine and Dazzling Life of the World’s First Superstar by Catherine Reef Sarah Bernhardt was a French stage actor who became a global superstar in the late nineteenth century—the Lady Gaga of her day—and is still considered to be one of the greatest performers of all time. This fast-paced account of her life, filled with provocative detail, brilliantly follows the transformation of a girl of humble origins, born to a courtesan, into a fabulously talented, wealthy, and beloved icon. Not only was her acting trajectory remarkable, but her personal life was filled with jaw-dropping exploits, and she was extravagantly eccentric, living with a series of exotic animals and sleeping in a coffin. She grew to be deeply admired around the world, despite her unabashed and public promiscuity at a time when convention was king; she slept with each of her leading men and proudly raised a son without a husband. A fascinating and fast-paced deep dive into the world of the divine Sarah. Illustrated with more than sixty-five photos of Bernhardt on stage, in film, and in real life. Smooth by Matt Burns Fifteen-year-old Kevin has acne, and not just any acne. Stinging red welts, painful pustules, and massive whiteheads are ruining his life. In an act of desperation, he asks his dermatologist to prescribe him a drug with a dizzying list of possible side effects — including depression — and an obligatory monthly blood test. But when he meets Alex, a girl in the lab waiting room, blood test day quickly becomes his safe haven — something he sorely needs, since everyone, including his two best friends, is trying his last nerve. But as Kevin’s friendships slip further away and he discovers who Alex is outside of the lab, he realizes he’s not sure about anything anymore. Are loneliness and self-doubt the side effects of his new acne meds? Or are they the side effects of being fifteen? Told in a bitingly funny first-person narration, this debut novel crackles with wry and wistful insights about the absurdities of high school, longing and heartbreak, and a body out of control. A surefire hit for teen boys and reluctant readers, Smooth gets under the skin of a tenth-grader who is changing — inside and out. Today Tonight Tomorrow by Rachel Lynn Solomon Today, she hates him. It’s the last day of senior year. Rowan Roth and Neil McNair have been bitter rivals for all of high school, clashing on test scores, student council elections, and even gym class pull-up contests. While Rowan, who secretly wants to write romance novels, is anxious about the future, she’d love to beat her infuriating nemesis one last time. Tonight, she puts up with him. When Neil is named valedictorian, Rowan has only one chance at victory: Howl, a senior class game that takes them all over Seattle, a farewell tour of the city she loves. But after learning a group of seniors is out to get them, she and Neil reluctantly decide to team up until they’re the last players left—and then they’ll destroy each other. As Rowan spends more time with Neil, she realizes he’s much more than the awkward linguistics nerd she’s sparred with for the past four years. And, perhaps, this boy she claims to despise might actually be the boy of her dreams. Tomorrow…maybe she’s already fallen for him. You Say It First by Katie Cotugno One conversation can change everything. Meg has her entire life set up perfectly: she and her best friend, Emily, plan to head to Cornell together in the fall, and she works at a voter registration call center in her Philadelphia suburb. But everything changes when one of those calls connects her to a stranger from small-town Ohio. Colby is stuck in a rut, reeling from a family tragedy and working a dead-end job. The last thing he has time for is some privileged rich girl preaching the sanctity of the political process. So he says the worst thing he can think of and hangs up. But things don’t end there.… That night on the phone winds up being the first in a series of candid, sometimes heated, always surprising conversations that lead to a long-distance friendship and then—slowly—to something more. Across state lines and phone lines, Meg and Colby form a once-in-a-lifetime connection. But in the end, are they just too different to make it work? You Say It First is a propulsive, layered novel about how sometimes the person who has the least in common with us can be the one who changes us most. 23 Deadly Curious by Cindy Anstey A twisty tale reminiscent of Jane Austen—with a dash of murder—Cindy Anstey’s Deadly Curiousis perfect for fans of Kerri Maniscalco and Agatha Christie. Some secrets are better left buried… 1834. Sophia Thompson wants nothing more than to be one of the famed Bow Street Runners, London’s most elite corps of detectives. Never mind that a woman has never before joined their ranks—and certainly never mind that her reclusive family has forbidden her from pursuing such an unladylike goal. She gets the chance to prove her capabilities when an urgent letter arrives from her frantic cousin Daphne, begging Sophia to come look into the suspicious death of Daphne’s brother. As Sophia begins to unravel the tangled threads of the case—with the help of a charming young policeman—she soon realizes that the murderer may be even closer to her family than she ever suspected. Forest of Souls by Lori M. Lee Sirscha Ashwyn comes from nothing, but she’s intent on becoming something. After years of training to become the queen’s next royal spy, her plans are derailed when shamans attack and kill her best friend Saengo. And then Sirscha, somehow, restores Saengo to life. Unveiled as the first soulguide in living memory, Sirscha is summoned to the domain of the Spider King. For centuries, he has used his influence over the Dead Wood—an ancient forest possessed by souls—to enforce peace between the kingdoms. Now, with the trees growing wild and untamed, only a soulguide can restrain them. As war looms, Sirscha must master her newly awakened abilities before the trees shatter the brittle peace, or worse, claim Saengo, the friend she would die for. Girl, Unframed by Deb Caletti Sydney Reilly has a bad feeling about going home to San Francisco before she even gets on the plane. How could she not? Her mother is Lila Shore—the Lila Shore—a film star who prizes her beauty and male attention above all else…certainly above her daughter. But Sydney’s worries multiply when she discovers that Lila is involved with the dangerous Jake, an art dealer with shady connections. Jake loves all beautiful objects, and Syndey can feel his eyes on her whenever he’s around. And he’s not the only one. Sydney is starting to attract attention—good and bad—wherever she goes: from sweet, handsome Nicco Ricci, from the unsettling construction worker next door, and even from Lila. Behaviors that once seemed like misunderstandings begin to feel like threats as the summer grows longer and hotter. It’s unnerving, how beauty is complicated, and objects have histories, and you can be looked at without ever being seen. But real danger, crimes of passion, the kind of stuff where someone gets killed—it only mostly happens in the movies, Sydney is sure. Until the night something life-changing happens on the stairs that lead to the beach. A thrilling night that goes suddenly very wrong. When loyalties are called into question. And when Sydney learns a terrible truth: beautiful objects can break. *Hunted By The Sky by Tanaz Bhathena Gul has spent her life running. She has a star-shaped birthmark on her arm, and in the kingdom of Ambar, girls with such birthmarks have been disappearing for years. Gul’s mark is what caused her parents’ murder at the hand of King Lohar’s ruthless soldiers and forced her into hiding to protect her own life. So when a group of rebel women called the Sisters of the Golden Lotus rescue her, take her in, and train her in warrior magic, Gul wants only one thing: revenge. Cavas lives in the tenements, and he’s just about ready to sign his life over to the king’s army. His father is terminally ill, and Cavas will do anything to save him. But sparks fly when he meets a mysterious girl—Gul—in the capital’s bazaar, and as the chemistry between them undeniably grows, he becomes entangled in a mission of vengeance—and discovers a magic he never expected to find. Dangerous circumstances have brought Gul and Cavas together at the king’s domain in Ambar Fort…a world with secrets deadlier than their own. Keep My Heart in San Francisco by Amelia Diane Coombs Caroline “Chuck” Wilson has big plans for spring break—hit up estate sales to score vintage fashion finds and tour the fashion school she dreams of attending. But her dad wrecks those plans when he asks her to spend vacation working the counter at Bigmouth’s Bowl, her family’s failing bowling alley. Making things astronomically worse, Chuck finds out her dad is way behind on back rent—meaning they might be losing Bigmouth’s, the only thing keeping Chuck’s family in San Francisco. And the one person other than Chuck who wants to do anything about it? Beckett Porter, her annoyingly attractive ex-best friend. So when Beckett propositions Chuck with a plan to make serious cash infiltrating the Bay Area action bowling scene, she accepts. But she can’t shake the nagging feeling that she’s acting irrational—too much like her mother for comfort. Plus, despite her best efforts to keep things strictly business, Beckett’s charm is winning her back over…in ways that go beyond friendship. If Chuck fails, Bigmouth’s Bowl and their San Francisco legacy are gone forever. But if she succeeds, she might just get everything she ever wanted. My Eyes Are Up Here by Laura Zimmermann A “monomial” is a simple algebraic expression consisting of a single term. 30H, for example. fifteen-year-old Greer Walsh hasn’t been fazed by basic algebra since fifth grade, but for the last year, 30H has felt like an unsolvable equation–one that’s made her world a very small, very lonely place. 30H is her bra size–or it was the last time anyone checked. She stopped letting people get that close to her with a tape measure a while ago. Ever since everything changed the summer before ninth grade, Greer has felt out of control. She can’t control her first impressions, the whispers that follow, or the stares that linger after. The best she can do is put on her faithful XXL sweatshirt and let her posture–and her expectations for other people–slump. But people–strangers and friends–seem strangely determined to remind her that life is not supposed to be this way. Despite carefully avoiding physical contact and anything tighter than a puffy coat, Greer finds an unexpected community on the volleyball squad, the team that hugs between every point and wears a uniform “so tight it can squeeze out tears.” And then there’s Jackson Oates, newly arrived at her school and maybe actually more interested in her banter than her breasts. Rebel Spy by Veronica Rossi A reimagining of the story behind Agent 355–a New York society girl and spy for George Washington during the Revolutionary War–perfect for fans of Tatiana de Rosnay’s Sarah’s Keyand the novels of Julie Berry. Rebellious Frannie Tasker knows little about the war between England and its thirteen colonies in 1776, until a shipwreck off her home in Grand Bahama Island presents an unthinkable opportunity. The body of a young woman body floating in the sea gives Frannie the chance to escape her brutal stepfather–and she takes it. Assuming the identity of the drowned Emmeline Coates, Frannie is rescued by a British merchant ship and sails with the crew to New York. For the next three years, Frannie lives a lie as Miss Coates, swept up in a courtship by a dashing British lieutenant. But after witnessing the darker side of the war, she realizes that her position gives her power. Soon she’s eavesdropping on British officers, risking everything to pass information on to George Washington’s Culper spy ring as agent 355. Frannie believes in the fight for American liberty–but what will it cost her? Inspired by the true “355” and rich in historical detail and intrigue, this is the story of an unlikely New York society girl turned an even unlikelier spy. *Scorpion by Jeff Sweat In Scorpion, the sequel to Jeff Sweat’s YA futuristic thriller Mayfly, Jemma, Lady, and Pico all left the Holy Wood to seek answers to the End, and when they find the Old Guys―the only adults to have survived the original wipeout of everyone over the age of seventeen―they think they’ve found help at last. But there’s a lot the Old Guys aren’t telling them. In fact, some of them don’t seem interested in solving the End at all and just want Jemma and her friends to leave. Meanwhile, war is brewing among the tribes of the rest of the Children. Jemma’s old home has fallen into disorder, and is far from prepared for battle. It won’t be long before the fighting reaches Jemma and the Old Guys, if they even live to see it. Seasons of the Storm by Elle Cosimano One cold, crisp night, Jack Sommers was faced with a choice—live forever according to the ancient, magical rules of Gaia, or die. Jack chose to live, and in exchange, he became a Winter—an immortal physical embodiment of the season on Earth. Every year, he must hunt the Season who comes before him. Summer kills Spring. Autumn kills Summer. Winter kills Autumn. And Spring kills Winter. Jack and Fleur, a Winter and a Spring, fall for each other against all odds. To be together, they’ll have to escape the cycle that’s been forcing them apart. But their creator won’t let them go without a fight. Sisters of Sword and Song by Rebecca Ross After eight years, Evadne will finally be reunited with her older sister, Halcyon, who has been serving in the queen’s army. But when Halcyon unexpectedly appears a day early, Eva knows something is wrong. Halcyon has charged with a heinous crime, and though her life is spared, she is sentenced to 15 years. Suspicious of the charges, brought forth by Halcyon’s army commander, as well as the details of the crime, Eva volunteers to take part of her sister’s sentence. If there’s a way to absolve Halcyon, she’ll find it. But as the sisters begin their sentences, they quickly learn that there are fates worse than death. A Sky Painted Gold by Laura Wood It is the summer of 1929. Lou Trevelyan is a small-town girl with big dreams of becoming a writer. Then she meets the Cardew siblings: the bubbly Caitlin and her handsome, enigmatic brother, Robert. Lou is swept into their glittering whirlwind of moonlit parties, unrivaled glamour, and whispered secrets. As she falls deeper into the world of high society, Lou must find a way to stay true to herself . . . and her heart. Take Me With You by Tara Altebrando Eden, Eli, Marwan, and Ilanka barely know each other beyond having a class or two together. But when they are all summoned via messaging app to an empty classroom after school, they find a small cube sitting on a desk. Its sides light up with rules for them: Do not tell anyone about the device. Never leave the device unattended.  And then, Take me with you . . . or else. At first they think it’s some kind of prank or a social experiment orchestrated by the school administration. Still, they follow its instructions until the newly-formed group starts to splinter. Nobody has time for these games–their lives are complicated enough. But the device seems increasingly invested in the private details of their lives. And disobeying its rules has scary–even life-threatening–consequences . . . This timely thriller probes our dependence on personal technology and challenges the notion that our devices are keeping us connected. The truth may very well be the opposite. What Unbreakable Looks Like by Kate McLaughlin Lex was taken–trafficked–and now she’s Poppy. Kept in a hotel with other girls, her old life is a distant memory. But when the girls are rescued, she doesn’t quite know how to be Lex again. After she moves in with her aunt and uncle, for the first time in a long time, she knows what it is to feel truly safe. Except, she doesn’t trust it. Doesn’t trust her new home. Doesn’t trust her new friend. Doesn’t trust her new life. Instead she trusts what she shouldn’t because that’s what feels right. She doesn’t deserve good things. But when she is sexually assaulted by her so-called boyfriend and his friends, Lex is forced to reckon with what happened to her and that just because she is used to it, doesn’t mean it is okay. She’s thrust into the limelight and realizes she has the power to help others. But first she’ll have to confront the monsters of her past with the help of her family, friends, and a new love. You’re Next by Kylie Schachte Flora Calhoun has a reputation for sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong. After stumbling upon a classmate’s body years ago, the trauma of that discovery and the police’s failure to find the killer has haunted her ever since. One night, she gets a midnight text from Ava McQueen, the beautiful girl who had ignited Flora’s heart last summer, then never spoke to her again. Just in time to witness Ava’s death from a gunshot wound, Flora is set on a path of rage and vengeance for all the dead girls whose killer is never found. Her tunnel-visioned sleuthing leads to valuable clues about a shocking conspiracy involving her school and beyond, but also earns her sinister threats from the murderer. She has a choice: give up the hunt for answers, or keep digging and risk her loved ones’ lives. Either way, Flora will regret the consequences. Who’s next on the killer’s list? 30 10 Things I Hate About Pinky by Sandhya Menon Pinky Kumar wears the social justice warrior badge with pride. From raccoon hospitals to persecuted rock stars, no cause is too esoteric for her to champion. But a teeny tiny part of her also really enjoys making her conservative, buttoned-up corporate lawyer parents cringe. Samir Jha might have a few…quirks remaining from the time he had to take care of his sick mother, like the endless lists he makes in his planner and the way he schedules every minute of every day, but those are good things. They make life predictable and steady. Pinky loves lazy summers at her parents’ Cape Cod lake house, but after listening to them harangue her about the poor decisions she’s made (a.k.a. boyfriends she’s had), she hatches a plan. Get her sorta-friend-sorta-enemy—who is a total Harvard-bound Mama’s boy—to pose as her perfect boyfriend for the summer. When Samir’s internship falls through, leaving him with an unplanned summer, he gets a text from Pinky asking if he’ll be her fake boyfriend in exchange for a new internship. He jumps at the opportunity; Pinky’s a weirdo, but he can survive a summer with her if there’s light at the end of the tunnel. As they bicker their way through lighthouses and butterfly habitats, sparks fly, and they both realize this will be a summer they’ll never forget. Goddess In The Machine by Lora Beth Johnson When Andra wakes up, she’s drowning. Not only that, but she’s in a hot, dirty cave, it’s the year 3102, and everyone keeps calling her Goddess. When Andra went into a cryonic sleep for a trip across the galaxy, she expected to wake up in 100 years, not 1,000. Worst of all, the rest of the colonists – including her family and friends – are dead. They died centuries ago, and for some reason, their descendants think Andra’s a deity. She knows she’s nothing special, but she’ll play along if it means she can figure out why she was left in stasis and how to get back to Earth. Zhade, the exiled bastard prince of Eerensed, has other plans. Four years ago, the sleeping Goddess’ glass coffin disappeared from the palace, and Zhade devoted himself to finding it. Now, he’s hoping the Goddess will be the key to taking his rightful place on the throne – if he can get her to play her part, that is. Because if his people realize she doesn’t actually have the power to save their dying planet, they’ll kill her. With a vicious monarch on the throne and a city tearing apart at the seams, Zhade and Andra might never be able to unlock the mystery of her fate, let alone find a way to unseat the king, especially since Zhade hasn’t exactly been forthcoming with Andra. And 1,000 years from home, is there any way of knowing that Earth is better than the planet she’s woken to? Influence by Sara Shepard and Lilia Buckingham After a video she makes goes viral, everyone knows Delilah Rollins. And now that she’s in LA, Delilah’s standing on the edge of something incredible. Everything is going to change. She has no idea how much. Jasmine Walters-Diaz grew up in the spotlight. A child star turned media darling, the posts of her in her classic Lulu C. rainbow skirt practically break the Internet. But if the world knew who Jasmine really was, her perfect life? Canceled. Fiona Jacobs is so funny–the kind of girl for whom a crowd parts–no wonder she’s always smiling! But on the inside? The girl’s a hot mess. And when someone comes out of the shadows with a secret from her past, it’s one that won’t just embarrass Fiona: it will ruin her. Who wouldn’t want to be Scarlet Leigh? Just look at her Instagram. Scarlet isn’t just styled to perfection: she is perfection. Scarlet has a gorgeous, famous boyfriend named Jack and there’s a whole fanbase about their ship. To everyone watching online, their lives seem perfect . . . but are they really? The sun is hot in California . . . and someone’s going to get burned. Ms. Gloria Steinem: A Life by Winifred Conkling Gloria Steinem was no stranger to injustice even from a young age. Her mother, Ruth, having suffered a nervous breakdown at only 34, spent much of Gloria’s childhood in and out of mental health facilities. And when Gloria was only 10 years old, her father divorced her mother and left for California, unable to bear the stress of caring for Ruth any longer. Gloria never blamed her mother for being unable to hold down a job to support them both after that, but rather blamed society’s intrinsic hostility toward women, and working women in particular. This was the spark that lit a fire in her that would burn for decades, and continues to burn brightly today. *Truelife by Jay Kristoff Best friends have become enemies. Lovers have become strangers. And deciding whose side you’re on could be the difference between life and death. For Eve and Lemon, discovering the truth about themselves–and each other–was too much for their friendship to take. But with the country on the brink of a new world war–this time between the BioMaas swarm at CityHive and Daedalus’s army at Megopolis, loyalties will be pushed to the brink, unlikely alliances will form and with them, betrayals. But the threat doesn’t stop there, because the lifelikes are determined to access the program that will set every robot free, a task requiring both Eve and Ana, the girl she was created to replace. In the end, violent clashes and heartbreaking choices reveal the true heroes . . . and they may not be who you think they are. #YaBookPreview #Lists #YoungAdultLiterature

Arplis - News source http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Arplis-News/~3/_YXTl8qP20I/the-ultimate-guide-to-spring-2020-ya-books-for-your-tbr-1

[paulpowder2-blog]

Episode 420 – Q&A with Robb and Nicki #13

We’re back with Robb and Nicki for Q&A #13. Listen in as we answer some of your submitted questions!

We’ll be switching to doing mostly Q&A episodes from now on, so hope you guys like these!

Show Notes:

1. [1:58] Electrolytes the whole time?

Rob says:

Question for you that I can’t seem to find an answer to anywhere else: do I need to continue to consume the high levels of electrolytes entire time I’m on keto? I am still doing it twice a day drink mix with about 2300mg Na, 350mg Mg, 1200mg K.

2. [4:14] Genetic Testing

Joseph says:

Robb and Nikki

I was wondering which genetic testing brand you recommend.

Joe

3. [6:00] FTO Polymorphism

Justin says:

Hi Robb and Nicki!

My wife and I both did our 23andme years ago but just recently ran it through Dr. Rhonda Patrick’s Genome Analysis Tool.

We both have FTO polymorphisms that put us at highest risk of obesity specifically from saturated fat consumption and it looks like high levels of saturated fat by itself even causes insulin dumps with this polymorphism.

I did not even realize this was possible I thought this could only happen with refined carbs. This is something that varies population wide but since we know we in particular have this polymorphism I have some questions about how to tackle this to feed my family of 4 with foods that are right for us.

At current just doing a paleo diet I have lost 40lbs, currently I’m down to 198. I run about 5 miles a week there isn’t a particular goal weight or strength level but for my height (5′-10″) it seems appropriate to be closer to the 160-175 range. Since we’re trying to do this as a family and I have young kids I’m not trying to put anyone on a “diet” just make sure they’re eating good foods when we’re at home where we have the most control of what’s around.

The Paleo template is working very well for us but with this new information I want to make sure we’re optimizing our food choices. My question comes in with foods I thought were very healthy and now I feel like may be healthy or benign for the general population but likely should be avoided by my family for example:

-Coconut oil

-MCT oil

-Pastured Beef (85/15)

-Pork

-Dark Chocolate

So three questions,

Should we be avoiding the above mentioned foods and shoot for higher levels of mono and poly unsaturated fats mixed with fish/chicken/turkey/93\7 beef?

What is a good target number of saturated fat in a day with this gene polymorphism for an adult to keep insulin levels healthy?

Since cutting those saturated fat levels down is going to cut a lot of calories should we be increasing carbs, mono/poly unsaturated fats, protein or a mix to make up the difference?

Thank you for your time and the work you do,

Justin

4. [12:50] Keto Masterclass/Labs

Chris says:

Hi Folks,

As a 38 year old male, I was curious your thoughts on a free T3 and Testosterone plummet on a low carb or ketogenic diet. My thoughts were not enough carbs? Or, because of the appetite suppressant effect of the diet, possibly not enough calories? I know tracking might shed light, but curious if there was an obvious solution and common finding here.

Many Thanks.

PS- all other markers have markedly improved.

5. [19:44] Omega-6 from nuts and avocados

Roberto says:

Hey Robb, just wanted to say that I am a huge fan of your work, and I have been following your podcast and blog since 2011. I really appreciate the research and information you are putting out there. Anyways my question is regarding Omega 6 from healthier sources such as nuts, seeds, egg yolks and avocados. I use to consume a large amount of almonds and Olive oil to maintain my weight but stopped after reading Dr. William Lands work on Omega 6 and Omega 3. I started going down the internet rabbit hole and before you know it I am at a Ray Peat forum where everyone claims any amount of Omega 6 will send you to an early grave! Since I am a follower of popular opinion, I switch most of my fat intake to highly saturated and almost instantly felt worse. After about a year on a high saturated fat diet my glucose was constantly higher, cholesterol levels increased and I looked like shit. I wasn’t as lean anymore and felt sluggish throughout the day.. I am really tempted to switch back to more of a mono/poly fat type diet, but there seems to be so much biochemical evidence against it. Walter Willet, seems to think it is not a problem, but Dr. Lands, Peatarians, Chris Masterjohn, Jaminet, etc., make such good cases. Although one could argue that most studies vilifying Omega 6 are actually showing the negative impacts of industrial seed oils instead of natural sources of Omega 6. Thoughts?

6. [24:58] Question about evolution to Nicki 🙂

KZ says::

Hi Nicki and Robb

Always love to listen to QA podcast, I can’t stop notice how Robb likes to geek out.

So how did you guys actually meet? What was Robb’s pick up line!

I am sure there is story there!

KZ

Where you can find us: YouTube Facebook Submit questions: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

Download a copy of this transcript here (PDF)

Nicki: Are we still calling this the Paleo Solution Podcast?

Robb: Are we rolling?

Nicki: We are rolling.

Robb: We are noodling on a rebrand and part of the reason why we’re noodling on a rebrand is that we’re shifting probably 99.99999% of our stuff to Q&A. The author interview stuff, people generating books like I think we’ve really mapped that experience and folks were okay with it. It’s cool, but what we found is that people have specific questions about their individual needs and that that’s probably the place that we shine the most. Every once in a while if we find somebody that has some really cool stuff, like there are a couple of researchers have some amazing work that they’ve done that I definitely want to interview at some point. So we’ll weave a little bit of that in but mainly we’re shifting this around to a Q&A format and so we are thinking about some sort of rebrand. So we’ll think about that. And I do have my cup of happy.

Nicki: It’s my cup of happy. But you’re using it. That’s okay.

Robb: Well you won’t let me use the cup that I usually use because of what’s on it.

Nicki: All right let’s get going with question number one. It’s a question from Rob. Electrolytes the whole time. Rob says, “Question for you that I can’t seem to find an answer to anywhere else. Do I need to continue to consume the high levels of electrolytes the entire time I’m on keto? I’m still doing it twice a day, drink mix with about 2300 milligrams of sodium, 350 milligrams of magnesium, and 1200 milligrams of potassium.”

Robb: Yeah so in general if you’re on a ketogenic diet, and this is one of the features like if childhood epilepsy, ketogenic diet kind of scenario, they will be on a sodium enriched diet in particular and then try to get the magnesium of potassium as much as possible from dietary sources but the sodium is really the linchpin to that. I will say that over the course of time usually those needs decrease to some degree but there’s just a ton of variability built into that. Somebody on a low card or ketogenic diet needs more sodium. Period. But then anyone who is exercising, exercising in heat and humidity, the american council support medicine guidelines put the sodium needs between seven and ten grams per day for an average size person. So what we’re finding and this is completely self serving because we’re selling LMNT and so yeah it’s a completely self serving statement. But a ton of people are really under supplemented in sodium. And so that’s the longer answer. The short answer is yeah if you’re on a lower carb diet, you’re generally going to need to supplement over the long haul.

Nicki: Especially if you’re training.

Robb: Especially if you’re training or doing any type of. And again heat and humidity. I just got back from doing a training camp, Brazilian jiu jitsu down in Costa Rica. It wasn’t blazing hot but it was 85, 90 degrees non air conditioned facility.

Nicki: Three hours of training at a time.

Robb: Decent humidity three hours. And the folks that were not staying on top of the electrolytes supplementation specifically sodium were having bad cramping issues. And then when they addressed that not only was their cramping decreased but their fatigue and whatnot was improved so. Yeah.

Nicki: All right. Next question is from Joseph on genetic testing. “Rob and Nicki, I was wondering which genetic testing brand you recommend.”

Robb: Man I’m honestly not super well versed in this stuff. I know that 23 and me has been selling our data to like the FBI and CIA or something like that.

Nicki: Is that real?

Robb: Yeah it’s real. It’s a non fake news deal. But I figure at this point I mean just coming back into the country, like they scanned me and like body cavity searched and everything so I don’t know that I can.

Nicki: No escaping anything.

Robb: There’s no escaping. I think just a basic 23 and Me is pretty legit. I think that they generally do a good job and then there’s going to be a question here I think next on FTO polymorphisms. Once you get that basic report out of 23 and Me and it’s kind of cool for the ancestry and stuff like that. Like I’ve connected with some second cousins and some cool stuff like that. But then you can export that data into different platforms like Ronda Patrick’s Found my Fitness, DNA Fit is really quite good also. That one definitely looks more at kind of sports and performance metrics like are you fast or slow twitch. Do you tend to oxidize fatty acid or carbohydrates better. It goes pretty deep on that and does a reasonably good job. So I would start with just 23 and Me. Or if there’s another option out there that they are not selling your information to the government, and you’re into that tin foil hat kind of gig and trying to protect your individual identity and information, then search out one of the others but 23 and Me is just nice API. It’s easy user interface. All that type of stuff. So yeah.

Nicki: All right, so this next question is from Justin on FTO polymorphisms. He says, “Hi Robb and Nicki, my wife and I both did our 23 and Me years ago but just recently ran it through Dr. Ronda Patrick’s genome analysis tool. We both have FTO polymorphisms that put us at highest risk of obesity specifically from saturated fat consumption. And it looks like high levels of saturated fat by itself even caused insulin dumps with this particular polymorphism. I did not even realize this was possible. I thought this could only happen with refined carbs. This is something that varies population wide, but since we know that we in particular have this polymorphism, I have some questions about how to tackle this to feed my family of four with foods that are right for us. Currently we’re just doing a paleo diet and I’ve lost 40 pounds. And I’m down to 198. I run about five miles a week. There isn’t a particular weight or strength level but for my height, 5’10 it seems appropriate to be closer to the 160 to 175 range. Since we’re trying to do this as a family and I have young kids, I’m not trying to put anyone on a diet. Just make sure they’re eating good foods when we’re at home where we have the most control of what’s around.”

Nicki: “The paleo template is working very well for us but with this new information I want to make sure we’re optimizing our food choices. My question comes in with foods I thought were very healthy and now I feel like maybe healthy or benign for the general population but likely should be avoided by my family. For example, coconut oil, MCT oil, pastured beef, pork, dark chocolate. So three questions, should we be avoiding the above mentioned foods and shoot for higher levels of mono and poly unsaturated fats mixed with fish, chicken, turkey, and 93.7% beef? What is a good target number of saturated fat in a day with this gene poly morphism for an adult to keep insulin levels healthy? And finally since cutting those saturated fat levels down is going to cut a lot of calories. Should we be increasing carbs, mono poly unsaturated fats, protein, or mixed make up the difference. Thank you for your time.”

Robb: Holy smokes that’s a lot of stuff to unpack. So the first one should we be avoiding the above mentioned foods. One thing that’s important to take away with this stuff is although so like this FTO polymorphism definitely has some implications for like lipo proteins, the potential saturated fats don’t benefit insulin sensitivity, all of the studies that have been done are still typically within the context of a mixed western diet. Nobody is pumping folks with paleo type foods through this process. So do we get the same gene expression under those circumstances? And I think that that’s a valid question to ask although we do see some folks whether on the low carb side of paleo or straight into keto they have some squirrely stuff happen. Some elevated inflammatory markers. What I would do with this is actually get a baseline of what your lipo proteins and your lipo protein insulin resistant score is and we’ll put a link to that in the show notes. You can get that ordered through specialty health folks that we work with here in Reno.

Robb: But if you are insulin… let me back up with that. Doesn’t really matter where you are. But within that insulin resistance score, the lipo protein insulin resistance score in general lower is better in this regard. So but if you’re already 20 then like cutting it to 10 isn’t really going to be that big of a deal. But if you have an LPIR score of 80 then yeah we want to really look at stuff. But what I would do is get that as a base line so that then any tinkering that you do we actually can know that it’s benefiting you or potentially not benefiting you. You’ve already lost a bunch of weight which we know for a fact regardless of everything else that’s improved your insulin sensitivity. It’s decreased inflammatory markers, like that’s just a guarantee. But if we’re going to do additional tinkering then I would strongly recommend getting that LPRI score as a baseline. And again we’ll plug that into the show notes. I don’t remember off the top of my head so I would use that as a baseline and then all of these recommendations from there the good target for an amount of saturated fat for a day… I wouldn’t even know where to go with that.

Robb: I guess some of the even Cordain backed guidelines are somewhere between like eight to twelve percent of total calories and if you’re reading on the leaner side of the protein spectrum, more fish, more monounsaturated fats. That should be reasonably easy to get and yeah I mean if you are cutting so the third question if you got the saturated fat levels you probably will need to replace those calories to some degree. And just play with that again. Maybe you add some more paleo type carbs. Maybe you add more mono unsaturated fats. I probably about 60% of my calories from almonds right now. Blue Diamond Smokehouse almonds no less because I love the smoky saltiness. But again I would make the case that the tinkering is less important than having a baseline so we can assess what the tinkering does. Because that LPRI score again you will know what your LDL particle count is which is critical in that kind of cardiovascular disease story even though it’s not straightforward and simple at all.

Robb: It will tell you help us your insulin resistance score and then based off of everything that you do then we can assess that. And I think that this is one of the really dangerous things that happens where people say go do this. And it’s like well how are we going to assess whether or not that does anything for us, either good or bad. I’ve always liked how do you look, how do you feel, how do you perform. And then look at bio markers of health and disease. And we’ve been recommending that since like 2007 when we first started going on the road doing things and over the course of time our ability to do that under the hood look at specific bio markers that give us some good feedback has really improved. So the things that you ask Sarah are great questions. I don’t know which one specifically to do. All of them are fair game. Increasing monos, increasing carbs, decreasing the saturated fat levels, the saturated fat in coconut oil will almost certainly provide a different stimulus on that FTO gene versus say like the 85% lean beef. And certainly different than butter and cream.

Robb: So those are all things that you can tinker with and once you have that baseline then we can actually do some good assessment.

Nicki: What effects they’re having.

Robb: Yeah.

Nicki: Okay. Next question is from Chris on keto and labs. “Hey folks, as a 38 year old male I was curious your thoughts on a free T3 and testosterone plummet on a low carb or ketogenic diet. My thoughts are maybe not enough carbs. Or because of the appetite suppressant effect of the diet possibly not enough calories. I know tracking might shed light but curious if there was an obvious solution and common finding here. P.S. all other markers have remarkably improved.”

Robb: Tracking, that’s madness. Why should we know where we are to figure out where we want to go. That’s crazy talk. So you know the drop in T3 and just T3 in general is not surprising on a low carb or ketogenic diet. It may not in some situations we’ve seen that it may be consistent with some clinical problems. But also again self servingly to some degree we’ve noticed that a remarkable amount of the problems that pop up related to low carb and ketogenic diet is whether it looks like kind of hypothyroidism or adrenal fatigue like HPTA axis dis regulation is inadequate sodium and inadequate electrolytes. And then once people address that, three years ago I would have been much more reticent to recommend low carb or ketogenic diet to a various cross sections of people and just working with Tyler and Louise at keto gains. They just don’t experience all these crazy problems that everybody else does because they are neurotic on having appropriate calorie levels so to Chris’s point we don’t want to be low carb and hypo caloric which is why we do actually need to track and that’s why it says keto master class/lab. So if you’re doing the keto master class we tell you to track that damn stuff at least for a while.

Robb: So we do need to establish a baseline but then they are neurotic in tracking electrolyte levels. And I think that that ends up addressing most of the issues. So if we drop carbohydrate intake we don’t need as much thyroid because the thyroid is critical in carbohydrate processing. So whether or not that is manifesting in what we would characterize as like hypothyroidism like being cold, dry brittle nails, dry brittle hair, all that type of stuff. That’s something that we need to keep an eye open for and then similarly with the testosterone levels, we find that a lot of people the testosterone levels may drop but then it appears that the androgen receptor sites improve in efficiency so you may not need as much. So this is again where I would default back to some clinical manifestations like are you still waking up with some wood. Are you frisky? Do you maintain muscle mass? Like all that type of stuff. And for women, kind of the analogous thing. Like is libido okay? Are you feeling fatigued and lethargic? Or do you have good energy and you’re motoring along? But again I wouldn’t immediately ascribe problems to the low carb diet. I would ascribe problems first to potentially having inadequate sodium and electrolyte levels and then kind of going from there.

Robb: And if at the end of all this unwinding and tinkering, the person legitimately is just not functioning as well as they would like on a low carb diet. Like they have clinical manifestations of like low thyroid and low testosterone. Then by all means start reintroducing some carbohydrate into the mix. 50 grams a day is a start. Run with that for a couple of weeks. Maybe add 20 more grams a day. And play with that and usually that addresses things. But again I’ve been surprised and this is why it’s good to have a coach and why I work with Tyler and Louise with my stuff because they’re very knowledgeable with this stuff particularly on the coaching implementation level. I really under valued how important the sodium and electrolyte story was. And when I address that then a bunch of the problems that I had were addressed.

Nicki: But bottom line tracking.

Robb: Tracking.

Nicki: So we know that you’re getting enough calories in the first place like Rob said under eating calories and low carb.

Robb: Low carb plus low calorie is a great mix for breaking someone.

Nicki: And if you’re doing, you didn’t say whether or not you’re doing much training. And if you’re training hard and if you’re not supplementing with sodium that can get you in some hot water.

Robb: And again within all the stuff what is keto so for me throughout the course… and still going to work on my training update for year 47. I still have that in the works but I’ve been noodling on some pieces to that and one of them is that I just kind of naturally periodize my carbohydrate intake throughout the week. So Monday tends to be a pretty low intensity day as far as training. I might make it to the gym and do some low level cardio. I mean literally it’s like 140, 145 beat per minute type stuff. I might lift some weights but it’s low volume, low intensity. So on Mondays I’m pretty low carb. Like probably around 50 grams max for the day because I just don’t need more. Tuesday I coach jiu jitsu but it tends to be a very skinny class and so that day also tends to be pretty low carb. Wednesday I will either lift weights or do some conditioning and it usually is a little bit friskier on that day. It just kind of naturally plays out that day and also Thursday can be a pretty hard day of training. I coach that class but it seems like more people more big people, more crazy people show up for that day.

Robb: So Wednesday I start ratcheting things up, maybe about 75 grams of carbs. On Thursday it will vary as to how much I have based on the training day. But Friday and Saturday are like get after it days. Those are my hard training days and those days the carb intake may hit 120, 150 grams for those days. And then Sunday is kind of recovery day and I actually drop the carbs on that because I find I recover better on the lower carb side of things because it’s not a glycogen issue. It’s kind of a systemic inflammatory issue. So I kind of naturally periodize carbs throughout the week. But I’m still always in ketosis. So even this notion of what a ketogenic diet is, people need to be more flexible with that. And I do find spots where I need more carbs to kind of have that low gear and to not feel kind of systemically blown out afterwards.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see. Our next question is from Roberto on Omega six from nuts and avocados. “Hey Robb, just wanted to say I’m a huge fan and I’ve been following your podcast and blogs since 2011. I really appreciate the research and information you’re putting out there. Anyways, my question is regarding Omega six from healthier sources such as nuts, seeds, egg yolks, and avocados. I used to consume a large amount of almonds and olive oil to maintain my weight, but stopped after reading Dr. William Land’s work on Omega six and Omega three. I started going down the internet rabbit hole and before you know it I am at Ray Peat’s forum where everyone claims any amount of Omega six will send you to an early grave. Since I am a follower of popular opinion I switched most of my fat intake to highly saturated almost instantly felt worse. After a year on a high saturated diet my glucose was constantly higher, cholesterol levels increased and I looked like shit. I wasn’t as lean anymore and felt sluggish throughout the day. I’m really tempted to switch back to more of a monopoly fat type diet but there seems to be so much biochemical evidence against it.”

Nicki: “Walter Willet seems to think it’s not a problem, but Dr. Lands.” What do you?

Robb: Pedatarian.

Nicki: Pedatarians. Chris Master, Jaminet, et cetera make such good cases although one could argue that most studies vilifying omega six are actually showing the negative impacts of industrial seed oils instead of natural sources of Omega six. What are your thoughts?”

Robb: Man it’s a really good question. And it pops up a lot and Roberto kind of hit it with that I really think that the studies are basically showing that industrial seed oils suck and other sources of Omega six are just really not, how do they say it, person of concerns. A molecule of concern. I talked to Matt Aland about this episode a lot and where this really becomes a big deal is if you have an adequate EPA and DHA as a baseline. Then these issues become a bigger problem. But then beyond that, and you know it’s funny because I vilify epidemiology on the one hand and then jump in and use some epidemiology but consuming nuts and seeds just like whether you’re paleo or vegan or fucking whatever, like nuts and seeds are pretty darn good. I think getting a variety of those and not being really super set in consuming too much of one variety even though I ate a shitload of Blue Diamond Smokehouse almonds. I eat the pants off those things. But I am just so unimpressed with the clinical and this again like we’ve talked a fair enough about labs and John Welbourne has looked at this where if he’s followed more of the super high saturated fat, low polyunsaturated fat intake and he feels like shit.

Robb: His blood values go kind of sideways. His good friend, Tom Inkladon which Inkie is kind of crazy. He’s crazy dude, super smart, but again and again he’s found that people that are really top heavy on the saturated fat like they end up just systemic inflammatory deal and like bad glucose disposal and everything. And so yeah I’m unimpressed with the argument to avoid nuts, seeds.

Nicki: Clearly you’re not feeling good. You’re not looking good. So clearly for you it makes sense to make shift. And try to get to where you’re feeling great in the morning. Your body composition is where you want it to be. Your numbers look good. I mean that in equals one scenario.

Robb: Yes, yeah, yeah. I think that there’s a lot to be said with that and again you know a way that you could get a really nice baseline on this is looking at that LPIR score which provides a marker of systemic inflammation called Glyc A which is so much better than a sea reactive protein. I’m going to have Dr. William Cromwell on. He will be one of the people that will probably interview a serially. Something I’ve noticed like Mike Rousha, there’s just a couple of people that provide so much value for folks when they listen because they’re just fucking on point and people always get something. So instead of a random grab bag, like in the interviews. I’m noodling are going to be more a curated process of people that just consistently provide value to the listeners and are really on point with stuff. So William Cromwell is going to be another person that will come on and talk about specifically why a glyce is so powerful as a marker of systemic inflammation. And again this is something that you can experiment with maybe you take a baseline out of your ray pedian kind of scenario and then alter it for a month, two months.

Robb: And then get a reassessment and I’ll go out on a limb and say that if you’re LPIR score improves, if your insulin sensitivity dramatically improves, if your gylce A improves, if you look, feel, and perform better I’m going to go out on a limb and say that that’s probably a net win all things considered.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see. We got a question from Casey. A question about evolution to Nicki. “Hi Nicki and Robb, always love to listen to the Q&A podcast and I can’t stop noticing how Robb likes to geed out so how did you guys actually meet? What was Robb’s pick up line? I’m sure there is a story there.

Robb: We’re going to have to fire [inaudible 00:25:20] for letting this one make it in the Q&A.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see here.

Robb: Do you want me to give the run down on this?

Nicki: How did we actually meet? So I was working in a coffee shop in Chico. Has finished school in San Diego, moved back closer to home to Chico. And the first time I met Robb the door to the coffee shop, the little bell on the door jingled and I looked over and in comes this guy with a tank top on with big muscly arms and.

Robb: Yeah because I’m huge. Just as a reference she was vegan at the time so anybody that had an ass, legs, or the remotest amount of muscle looked like some sort of body builder.

Nicki: So yeah, tank top, muscly arms, and then tapered acid wash jeans.

Robb: The tapered acid wash jeans were standard jeans and they look tapered because again I add ass and quads. And so I actually fill them up instead of just these Popsicle sticks walking around in hemp baggy pants like the rest of the guys you hung out with.

Nicki: So yeah so he comes up to the counter and says, “Do you guys roast your own beans?” So I guess that wasn’t really the pick up line but that was the first sentence.

Robb: Hey I’m just moving here from Seattle, and I literally I drove more or less non stop other than getting gas. I peed in a bottle. Went from Seattle to Chico. Chico was where I did my undergrad and I was moving down there to open a group in the fourth cross fit affiliate gym in the world. And that’s where I met John Frankel. And so the very first human being that I exchanged words with after being out of Chico for nearly seven years. Was my future wife, Nicki. Those are big arms Violetti.

Nicki: He asked if we roast our beans and I said no.

Robb: Well she said no. And then she went back to talking our other misanthropic friends.

Nicki: And then he asked do you know where.

Robb: No I said do you know who else in town roasts their own beans. And she said Cal Java. And then went back to talking to her misanthropic friends. I said do you know where they’re located and she said across the other side of town.

Nicki: Now I was not that big of bitch. Just saying.

Robb: Former clients and former employees would argue with you.

Nicki: Robb’s version of the story. Yeah. So anyway so that was our very first meeting. That summer, and that was like in April. And that summer I kept getting emails from Robert Wolf. I had signed up for this group mailing list because I had done some [inaudible 00:28:03] in San Diego and was wanting to get into it also. And Chico so I started getting these emails all summer long and then one email was talking about the mystery from Seattle coming down to do a big workshop. So I show up at this workshop and Robb is there. And turns out he was co teaching the classes with one of our friends Jeff OG. So started doing [inaudible 00:28:27]. And then I guess I invited you to the first thing, right?

Robb: Nicki invited me to a vegan pot luck which I ate before attending that. And then.

Nicki: So we went to a vegan pot luck.

Robb: And not long after that, maybe about six hours after that Nicki was pretty sure that I was a serial kiler and so you’ll have to meet us in real life and focus more on the rest of the background on that.

Nicki: We won’t go into it right now but.

Robb: You’ll have to play us with some margaritas.

Nicki: It was, I had good intuition based on the circumstances that this was not a normal guy.

Robb: Nicki has commitment phobia.

Nicki: That I should run far far away. And when I told all my close friends they said oh yes run far far away.

Robb: Nicki has commitment phobia.

Nicki: No it has nothing to do with that. There might be a shred of truth to that.

Robb: The commitment phobia was a multiplier applied to some very non deft actions.

Nicki: Not deft is a very smooth way of saying it.

Robb: Yeah.

Nicki: So yeah.

Robb: So yeah there was nothing cool or slick or anything about my MO. Really the thing that I had going for me is in Chico there are about five women for every one to two men. And that’s really the thing that I had going for me. So but yeah KZ if you want the rest of the story, or other people want the rest of the story, couple margaritas and we’ll unpack the rest of the story. But guess sorry that we’ve been gone bit. I’ve been working on two books simultaneously. The first keto book is off to the publisher under the first draft. I’m working with Diana Rogers on a sustainability book which I am going to be riding away on that. So we’ve been pretty pretty hopping.

Nicki: So keto master class students and just anyone in general, we’re turning all of the material in that course into a book and it’s going to be super super cool.

Robb: We have a massive amount of additional information and so for keto master class students if you’re kind of like why wouldn’t I buy this thing. I did… I’ve been thinking about a longevity book for a long time. And I actually took the bulk of what I’ve noodled on putting into a longevity book and put it into that because writing two books at once made me decide I never want to write a damn book again in my life. So it really digs into M tor, fasting, like the pluses and minuses like I don’t want to toot my own horn too much but nobody has dug into that stuff on both the molecular level and also on the kind of macro application level. I haven’t seen anybody do it. So I think it’s going to be a very good book, very practical. But then also for the geeks out there, if you’re kind of like well I’ve checked all this stuff out. Like I put a ton of arterial into the cholesterol and cardiovascular disease, implications of a low carb ketogenic diet and I went really deep on that. And then I also got into M tor, IGF, the pluses and minuses of autophagi and fasting and all that.

Robb: I feel like I did a very thorough treatment on that. Those are in an appendix. So even the flour map of the book is a little bit different. We kind of jump in with the how to and then we cover the more technical science at the end in the appendix. I’m hoping that that will lead to not a massive pissing match with my publisher so hates the science and technical stuff and just wanted everything to be like eight days to paleo lab. And so I’m hoping the fact that the technical stuff is in the back that they’ll kind of give a little sign off on that. It won’t be a shit fight on that. But that’s what we’ve got going on.

Nicki: Yeah. So that’s coming out early next year and then the sustainability book with Diana.

Robb: More like June, July.

Nicki: Summer of next year. So that’s kind of.

Robb: Cool. Yeah. So keep the questions coming in. We’re back in the hot seat to do this. Love the questions and thank you all for your support. We’ll talk to you soon.

The keto diet is one of the most effective ways to shed fat and improve your health. Keto Masterclass helps you start keto right, step-by-step, so that you can be successful long-term.

Learn More

Don’t forget, Wired to Eat is now available!

Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, iBooks

Robb Wolf

Robb Wolf, author of The Paleo Solution and Wired to Eat, is a former research biochemist and one of the world’s leading experts in Paleolithic nutrition. Wolf has transformed the lives of tens of thousands of people around the world via his top ranked iTunes podcast and wildly popular seminar series.

Source: https://robbwolf.com/2019/03/22/episode-420-qa-with-robb-and-nicki-13/

[rpedia]

[Ask RPedia] Does the Main Character Have to be “Good” to be Liked?

Anonymous asked: Do you think a character HAS to be likeable for people to like them, if they're the protagonist in the story? I've had a lot of conflict over this, as I myself enjoy having unlikeable/mean/"villainous" characters as the main character, but I'm unsure as to whether this would go well over with the majority. Do you think being likeable is a must-have trait for a popular, or enjoyable character?

Hi yeah okay uhm, no. Never. Nope. Honestly people just love a character they can connect with, and there’s a lot of people out there who look at themselves and are guilty that they have less-than-perfect responses to situations. Seeing someone who does similar, yet thrills and interests them, can give them that hook. Let them know they aren’t alone, and give them a fictional anchor to see themselves in. That connection, be it fascination, love, attraction, or reflection is the important part. Let’s examine a few of the ‘most popular’ characters from recent shows and see why they were popular, because surprise surprise, most of them were straight up villains yet everyone loves them. ... I’m going to talk a lot about basically these two paragraphs ad nauseum as I explain, get ready for it.

So we’re going to jump right into some fandoms people have hashed back and forth to the point that, really, we want to gag. Yes. Let’s walk directly into hell and pick up BBC Sherlock, the MCU’s Avengers, Game of Thrones, and... you know what, let’s do it. Let’s go grab that Nolan version of Batman.

You probably realized who I was talking about first for each and every one of them, so let’s point at our targets. Moriarty, Loki, Joker, and Joffery come on down! Actually GoT has a lot of fucking targets let’s be real. We’ll leave that one for last because we can drain it of the most meat before we toss it aside. Anyways.

What do these characters have in common? They’re evil, yes, they’re strongly represented in their respective canons, and holy shit the fandom fucking loves them. Like everything about them, there’s fanart, and fanfics, and rewrites, and redemption arcs in every little fanish heart for miles. (peep TVtropes about this following phrase) They have more Leather Pants than Draco Malfoy, another fond favorite but we’re not gonna bother with him because he doesn’t have much hearty fulfilling canon meat on him. Fandom strongly wishes that these characters, despite their issues, were ‘good people’ and could care about another person. They want them to be a little bit goofy, and are completely willing to overlook everything they’ve done if they could get better now.

So my theory, and oh no I have a theory, is you can get away with a character being a total fuckface if you pick which part of Triumvirate of Attraction they fail at and keep the other two. It’s a triangle. The corners are: Attractive Looking, Witty/Sarcastic/Intelligent, and Relatable. So if you have a character who is relatable and funny, everyone loves them even if they are literally made out of goopy clay pasted onto some sort of twig framework. If they’re good looking and horrifyingly intelligent, no one ever has to bond with them or understand them on a deep personal level, because wow they’re funny and I can look at them! 

Seriously.

Each of these character has unlikable aspects, and I’m sure the fandom can give me a real debate about each so this is a minefield. Just remember, everyone has their own interpretations of the characters, and mine are not 100% correct, nor do I claim them to be. But my view is useful for breaking them down and explaining them as a POV to learn from, so bear with me even if I insult your favorite by accident because I’m using them for examples of assholes right now. (Hint: I've roleplayed most of them, so I love them too, I love them even if they’re horrific pieces of burning trashfire. )

So, Loki. He was raised as the second son to is King-God father and warrior son, tended towards trickery because of a rift between him and his family. He tended to be blamed for things, and then do other things. We know him as a character who has ripped people’s minds out to use them as pawns, murdered people by stabbing them through the gut, and seemed to quite enjoy warring with other planets. These, regardless of how desensitized to them we are, are not good things. That’s mind-control, murder, and murder on a team he tricked into it, and we aren’t even going to look at various things he may have done elsewise. This character is not a good man, he’s flawed, and yet people adore him. Why? Well, mostly it’s because he’s hilarious. The man turned into Captain America for a crack, he says those snappy little one-liners we all wish we could, and he’s brilliant when it comes to an extended master plan. He keeps things interesting. He’s also not bad looking, sure he might not be to your specific taste (especially after people have harped on it so long) but he’s got the kind of face that blends in with the bland circus of ‘handsome actors’ well enough. Not to mention we also identify with him, he’s got the triumvirate. The outcasts, walking in people’s shadow, who feel they’ve been pushed into being bad. Those people who want power to help others, even if it means destroying them in the process. People who need to prove themselves, and get the love they crave. They’re all seeing their reflections here, even if Loki is haughty, extremely intelligent, and out of reach as a bit of an Ice King.

Now Moriarty. Once again, we have someone who is handsome and witty! He’s sarcastic as hell, uses his voice in a certain patter to draw you in for the punchline, and then lets it rip. He knows how to keep people pulled in waiting for him to say his next memorable line. He also fucking poisoned kidnapped children with mercury, paid men to kill other people with Russian Roulette style bets, caused several man hunts, and forced people to commit suicide for kicks. Wee bit of not-good there. Is he relatable? Maybe on some shallow level, but widely, he’s too smart for us, he’s doing things we probably wouldn’t do because, well, they’s a bit mean ain’t they? He’s a mystery in many respects, and we can’t so much as bond with him, as pretend to bond with him by trying to enforce the character of Sebastian into a world he doesn’t exist in as our ‘in’, or by using Sherlock to wedge in the same ‘mirror’ so we can understand the guy who is outside of our league. We fake understanding him because we like him. So, strike relatable, keep him attractive (bisexual jokes nab a lot of looks and he’s handsome) and witty! Add as much asshole as you want the fans are snagged. He could kick a puppy and fans would croon about how evil he is, an awful sinnamon roll they want to see more of. That’s how it works. (And as a reminder, our Smart/Pretty Sherlock over there isn’t much of a relatable person or nice either.)

Why not jump to Nolanverse’s Joker now. He’s one of the first who break the ‘Handsome and Witty’ pair up, because look at him. He runs around in unshaven legs in a nurse costume with soggy makeup. He’s not clean, he probably smells funny (get it, because clown), and he’s an abusive piece of shit out to murder half the city for kicks and to get Bat-Sempai to notice him. But we find him funny and relatable, he hates how the world is dependent on money and wants to change it. He considers the world one big nasty joke being played on the people. He’s got one-liners everywhere, and frankly good advice (never do something you’re good at for free). He’s against society, against money controlling people, and wants to ‘level the playing field’. Sure, he finds that graveyards are all remarkably flat as a playing field goes, but we get it. He’s miserable and wants to do something with his life. This is how cults start to be honest. He’s an angry ugly man with a funny way of looking at the world that makes you think he’s just like you, and maybe he does have a point? So people latched onto him, he became the figurehead of a movement. Anarchy, and chaos, something they could look up to even if it wasn’t a very good thing. He is beloved, whether or not you personally like him.

Then there’s Joffery. I want to make an agonizing groaning noise over him because he’s got one trait: he’s not bad looking. If he wasn’t a raging shitstorm of pubescent narcissism bent on destruction for kicks, he’d be kind of hot. He’s not very smart, he’s not witty, he’s just cruel. If he’s relatable, it’s not through direct relation. It’s through knowing that one little prick you had to deal with your whole life who was just like him but without the power. Or I guess, there’s a lot of power fantasy loving folk who probably just liked him for him. I’m not judging. ... I’m judging a tiny bit. There’s some judgement. He’s a little shit okay, he’s a pretty nasty little shit. But was he popular as fuck? Hells yes! Everyone knows Joffery if they’ve watched the series! He’s bigger than life, people groan loudly at his name, he’s got a fandom supporting him and his tragic life. Tragic in part because he had one. People looked forward to episodes with Joffery to see what evil stunt he’d pull next, to see what happened to his victims, and most importantly to see the evil little booger meet the finger that picks him. We couldn’t wait for something to happen to Joffery, whether it was a slap to the head, a stabbing, being shoved off a building, being eaten by dire wolves... the list goes on, everyone wanted to see his comeuppance more than anything. He was also, somewhat, creative and stylish about how he went around shit. Not clever, but creative, and he made evil look descent. 

Now here’s where we turn on GoT In full force, gimme a second. So we have Cersei, and her twinsie-lover Jaime. Both assholes, but we love them too. They’re pretty, and immoral, and actually witty as fuck honestly. We watched fervently to see what would happen to them, but were they specifically likable characters? Hell no! Especially not at the beginning when they started really being massive tossers. How about Littlefinger? Oh no, he was nice once. But he’s witty, and pretty, and relatable, but a total fucknard too. The Mountain? We love his rude, violent, smouldered off face. He’s not pretty, but he’s his kinda street-smart, and he’s relatable. See how this is working out? My triumvirate of interest is proving out in our illustrative pudding. It doesn’t even have to be bad guys, look at Tyr. He’s fucking smart as hell, hilarious, people adore the shit out of him. He’s not supposed to be that pretty, but he is. He’s a total cock to people a lot, but he’s funny, and relatable. Everyone relates to Tyr. This is why Tyr is so beloved.

... now that I’ve nattered uselessly on that for a while, let’s look at the other reasons these characters were delightful. Because believe it or not there are totally other reasons beyond my theory.

If you look at everyone I’ve suggested here, there’s another reason people watch shows with them. Morbid, or entirely reasonable, curiosity what the fuck is going to happen next. So you need to set up a story that draws people in not with your characters, but with what their future holds. Is the testy little jerk going to die? Are the demons going to eat him? What horrible thing is he plotting next? God, I just want to see if it gets worse actually... These are the thoughts in the back of people’s heads. This is why Clockwork Orange went over so well, the surrealist batch of malarkey, sex, and ultraviolence that was. This is why Neil Gaiman’s American Gods has so much pull, when the protagonist was drawn on by events, rather than being an excessively fleshed out and interesting character. He was surrounded by interesting things and characters, he didn’t need to take that away from them. Sure he had interesting moments, but he wasn’t in and of himself extremely out-there and trying to take the spotlight and yet he was the main character. And I still couldn’t put the damn thing down. Thank you Neil.

So if your character is lacking in ways for people to be attracted to them, if they’re mean, ugly, horrible little people, who want nothing more than to hurt others, who aren’t funny, or even very smart. Who are disgusting wastes of flesh, who are too violent to live, and empty hollow unrelatable characters-- you have to compliment them with the most excessively interesting plot anyone as ever made, with fantastic background-characters and a shout-outloud-at-the-library ending. Something’s gotta be palatable if your characters aren’t, but do they need to be? No. Not at all. 

Can you think of any characters that have had a complete failure even though they’re marketably pretty, supposedly witty, and but-we-made-them-relatable? You’re probably, through no fault of your own, going to think about lots of mass produced strong women characters written by people who don’t ‘get it’. They assume that prepackaging the deal will instantly catch them views, I mean, she’s got sex appeal right? That’s what sells! That’s all that matters! We gave her little quips, and made her fall in love or out of love or something to do with love or the usual standard ‘I’m just as good as the guys!’ storyline, so why aren’t you falling for her yet? Because, consumers (that’s you readers!) know when something tastes like plastic. It’s fake. 

So yet another thing to keep in mind is making sure your characters steam with realism. Balance your traits, good and bad. Make sure that their reactions aren’t forced or canned or seen in every version of that character ever. It’s surprisingly easy to write characters once you treat them as 3D human beings with entire lives we’re just dipping a tow into, rather than a 2D story helper to act out our little head play and then go away. Hint at their lives, draw people in. Make them realistic. Give them reasons to say the things they do, and show those reasons if you can instead of just telling them. Avoid serious stereotyping and handwaving characters as unimportant because they’re fictional.

You are a writer have one job. Make them real. If they’re real enough, it doesn’t matter what kind of a person they are. You’re telling a story, telling something that should feel real and thick like some sort of reality soup you’ve made special. Unlikable protagonists tend to be plastic cutouts, that’s the real big issue writers face. So, even if they are horrible, make them. Tell their story. Tell all their stories. Express them like the finest of anal glands. It’ll touch someone, in their heart we hope, and it’ll grow their vocabulary. People read to expand their horizons, not to fall for the same cookie cutter good guy everyone’s afraid to break the mold of.

Remember, you can write anything. Anything. Everything. It doesn’t matter if someone will find it offensive. It doesn’t matter if it grosses someone out, or someone hates it. It doesn’t matter if it looks like a first grader should have written it in crayon. Nothing matters except getting it down on paper. After that, you can pick through it with a fine tooth comb and clean it up. Then leave it alone for a while, reread it later. If you love it and feel like it’s something that can be shared without people throwing a fit? Share it. 

But before that, you have to write it, and you don’t need anybody else at all to tell you what’s good enough’ when you’re trying to birth a word baby at 3AM in a mad dash of typing. Story now, let the true thing out even if you’re embarrassed, guilty, ashamed, threatened, and upset by it. You know it will hurt others, but you’re already thinking it. Get it out of you, like a poison and onto the paper so it stops bugging you. 

You aren’t breaking your morals, or doing something that anyone else matters in by letting a story out, if you don’t share it with anyone you know it will hurt. You’re just helping yourself. It already exists in your head, and once you accept it and let it go on the page, finally, you can pick to delete it, or just save it and never share it and die off before it gets published, whatever. Think about the details and fixes later, let the story flow, and do not let the judgement or enjoyment of some other fucker ruin that flow by making you second guess everything. 

You got this. Write that less-than-stellar character, and see where they lead you. Good luck.

[justsomebucky]

The Only Exception (Part 1)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,442

Warnings: language, fluff, wishful thinking, hot firemen, sarcasm, cynicism, bad jokes

A/N: Okay, so I saw a movie a long long time ago that was terrible, but it inspired the ‘bad’’ love advice and the firemen. I’ve been dying to have fireman!Bucky in one of my AUs.

And yes, the title comes from the Paramore song. I felt like it’s how reader feels throughout. Hope you guys like it. I had some writer’s block, and some house guests, so this is a little late being posted.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

So far, your day was a total bust, and it was still early morning.

Your umbrella had blown away in some pretty ridiculous wind gusts, leaving you to get soaked in the rain as you made your way from the subway to Stark Tower for work.

Once you were inside, the elevators were so full that you were forced to squeeze in beside some people who ought to really reconsider the deodorant they were wearing (or buy some at all).

Then you got to your desk, and a post-it note was stuck to your laptop, asking you to go to the conference room beside your boss’ office.

Dammit.

You ran your fingers through your soaked hair, trying to seem presentable as you opened the door to the conference room.

Your supervisor, May Parker, sat at the head of the table, with her assistant Maria and your assistant Natasha on either side of her. There was no one else in the room except the HR person from upstairs. He was standing in the corner, flipping through some documents in his hands.

Oh, crap.

Were you being fired?

Why else would you be called here with HR present?

Your mind started reeling with all the different bills that lay on your kitchen counter, including two student loan bills. Your rent was due soon, too. What the hell were you going to do? You couldn’t afford to stay in Brooklyn if they fired you. What kind of monsters would fire you on a Thursday morning? They could at least-

May cleared her throat, interrupting your anxiety-ridden thoughts. “Y/N, do you know why we called you in here?”

You shook your head. “No, ma’am.”

She sighed, glancing between Nat and Maria. “We had to let Leah go today.”

“Wait, what? Leah?” Your brows furrowed in confusion. Leah was a coworker of yours. Well, she used to be. “You mean you aren’t firing me?”

“No. In fact, HR, we’re good here. You can go.”

The man nodded and gathered his things, leaving without another look back. May gestured to the empty seat next to Natasha, and you sat down obediently. 

“We have a little project for you until we find a replacement,” she informed you.

What the heck kind of project could they have for you from Leah’s team? She was into social media, the star of her own little YouTube show. Surely they were looking for another Leah to lead this. There’s no way they would want you to cover her show in the meantime.

“We want you to cover her show in the meantime.”

Oh.

Wait, what?

You blinked. “I have no experience with any of that.”

“No experience with love? Come on now, Y/N, even I’ve seen you reading those trashy romance novels on your lunch break. Plus, aren’t you seeing someone?” May laid her palms flat on the table. “Look, we’re in a pinch here, and you write advice articles all the time. I’m asking you to transition for a short while to also doing a little YouTube show here and there.”

You had a degree in psychology that hadn’t paid the bills after graduation, so you signed on to be a part of the team at September Media, a section of Stark Industries, writing a little column online.

Sometimes your column was based on reader questions, and sometimes it was just about something that was plaguing you that day. May was your boss, and she typically stayed out of your way when it came to work.

The advice you gave was more along the lines of life advice; ways to cope with stress and anxiety, how to find the silver lining, don’t give up on yourself…that sort of thing. Plus, you never had to appear in any videos or speak on podcasts or anything like that.

Leah, on the other hand, dealt strictly in love advice. She had a popular show on September’s YouTube channel that got millions of hits every week. You suspected half of it was because she was a former model, though you didn’t want to insinuate that she wasn’t good at her job (because you’d actually never watched her show).

Who had the time for nonsense like that? Nothing ever worked out as smoothly as in those romance novels you liked to read. There was no hot guy with loads of cash waiting in the wings to save you from your drab life. Fiction (and Disney) had ruined your hope of ever finding someone to sweep you off your feet.

And really, you didn’t even need to be swept off your feet. You simply needed someone who wasn’t going to live on your couch with no job while they watched anime porn all day. You needed someone who didn’t have a weird affinity for both their own mother and people’s toes. You’d heard these horror stories from your coworkers, and yes, people like that apparently existed.

Where had all the good ones gone?

Dating was so awful, and no amount of advice would ever make the experience better for you.

In fact, the last date you had been on was a total disaster. Your friends and coworkers had insisted that you try online dating, so you did. You actually put yourself out there, despite all of your hesitations.

It turned out, online dating was mostly a weird mix of lewd propositions and dick pics, but on occasion you’d get a message from a decent human.

Even so, the last guy you’d actually met for a coffee date had left with another woman while you were in the restroom.

“I’m so completely under-qualified to offer advice for romantic relationships, May. I’ve only had one recent date, and it didn’t go well at all. I’m not sure what I could possibly have to offer a program like this.”

May nodded, staring at you (and kind of making you uncomfortable) as she appeared to completely ignore this information. “I’m sure you’re a quick learner, Y/N, and I’m afraid I don’t have much of a choice here. You’re the new romance advice person until we find a replacement.”

“But I’m not good at lovey-dovey bullshit,” you pressed on, trying to get her to see your side of things. “I don’t have it in me!”

“Then pretend,” May replied, turning to your assistant-slash-friend. “Nat, I know it’s not really your job, but you’re going to have to help her with whatever her hair is trying to do, and get her in front of the camera ASAP.”

May stood up and quickly made her way to the door, pausing for only a moment. “You’ll do great, kiddo, I know it. It’s just temporary. One, maybe two weeks tops!” With a small smile, May left the conference room, putting some finality on your fate.

You sat back in your chair, feeling a little numb. “This cannot be happening.”

“Oh, it’s happening. I suggest you get ready. Leah had an episode already scripted for today, but we’ll just have you read the questions, and you can answer as you see fit.” Maria gave you a small smile of encouragement. “You’ve got the training, Y/N. Time to use it for some lovey-dovey bullshit.”

About an hour later, after giving yourself a pep talk in the mirror of the women’s room, you were sat in front of a low-tech, camera-and-laptop situation, in what used to be Leah’s huge, beautiful office. “Why the hell did she get an office like this, and I’m stuck out in the bullpen?”

You frowned up at Scott Lang, your camera man for this temporary gig. He’d always helped Leah with her episodes, so now he’d been assigned to help you. His regular job was to write about advances in technology, especially the strides that Tony Stark and his team were making.

Scott merely shrugged. “She brought in a lot of ad revenue.”

“Yeah, I bet she did,” you muttered, looking out the window to the New York skyline.

That’s what you did when you felt your anxiety trying to take a hold of you, and the city you loved never failed to calm you down. You took a deep breath, letting the air out slowly as your eyes scanned the familiar skyscrapers.

“Look, Y/N, your advice is helpful to a lot of people, but so was Leah’s. It’s hard to make a relationship work these days. If she helped even one person, it was worth it.”

Your eyes flickered back to Scott’s face as you studied him. He was staring down at the camera, messing with some of the settings, but you could tell his mind was a million miles away to his ex-wife and daughter.

He had a point. If Leah could provide some comfort to people, then she was doing something good for people. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Scott.”

“It’s fine.” Scott offered you a sincere grin. “You ready?”

“Just a minute. This has been bothering me all day…I’ve been wondering, why did Leah get fired?”

“Oh.” Scott rubbed the back of his neck. “She got caught accepting vacations and jewelry and stuff from some of Mr. Stark’s clients. It’s a breach of contract.”

You burst out laughing. “Ah, geez. No worry of that happening with me, trust me. I can’t even get a free drink. Let’s get this over with shall we?”

“All right, I’m going to count down and you will have to introduce yourself, okay? Then you can just dive right into the selected viewer questions.”

“Got it.” At least, you hoped so.

“In three, two…” Scott held up a finger to signal one second, then pointed at you.

“Hi everyone, my name is Y/N, and this is Love Advice with…Y/N. Really? That’s the name of this show? Very original. Anyways, Leah is no longer going to be hosting, but never fear, I’m here temporarily to offer you vague advice and false hope in love.”

Scott made a face at you over the camera, but you pressed on, figuring your cynicism would help you through this ridiculous situation. Maybe if you were bad enough, they would find someone who actually wanted to talk about romance on YouTube.

“Let’s just get to the first question! Dear Leah – and again, I’m not Leah, so please address next week’s questions to the Love Therapist, because that’s my new show name. Anyways, dear Leah, I’m supposed to be getting married to someone this weekend, but I’m having second thoughts. I’ve only known him for seven months – is that long enough to know you want to spend your life with someone? I’ve been worrying all week, and I’m not sure I’m ready. I’m not sure he’s The One. Sincerely, Confused in Brooklyn.”

You made a face at the question as you read it off of the laptop in front of you, then you made a face at the camera. “Oh, confused is right. You sound utterly lost, my friend. Listen, if you are even remotely unsure of this relationship moving to the next level, the worst thing you can do is legally commit to this man. Seven months might be enough for some people, but is it right for you?”

Scott made a motion for you to wrap it up; apparently you were not only supposed to answer dumb questions, but you were supposed to offer short, bad advice. No way. If you were doing this, you were going to do it right.

You weren’t Leah. This poor person needed help.

“Confused, you need to take a good look at your own wants and needs, and figure out if that guy meets them, because if you aren’t sure about him and still go through with the wedding, it’s on you. You’re going to make yourself unhappy, and he will eventually be unhappy, too. Neither of you deserves that. Be an adult, assess your relationship, and then decide. Okay, our next question comes from Lonely in Astoria…”

“I heard you were brutal in every episode,” Nat laughed, snapping a selfie with her coffee cup in view. “First week on assignment and you really didn’t hold back.” You watched from across the table as she posted the picture to her Instagram account. It wasn’t anything new to you to see her doing that; she was always on the lookout for the perfect selfie.

Maybe she should be doing this show instead of you.

The two of you were getting coffee on the corner near your apartment before heading to see a movie down the street. It was some much needed vegging-out time. You didn’t want to have to think too hard today.

“Smile!”

You didn’t even have time to react as she snapped your picture, posting it with the hashtag #grumpyneedscoffee and tagging you.

“You know, it’s not safe to always post your location so blatantly like that. Or mine…especially mine.”

“Oh yeah, we’ve got loads of stalkers. Maybe I wanted to invite them, what do you think about that?” Nat stuck her tongue out at you, then took another selfie. “Hashtag: come stalk us.”

“You’re so hilarious,” you muttered, looking away. Your eyes scanned the faces in the crowd outside, and you couldn’t help but wonder if any of them watched your stupid little show.

You hoped not.

Saturday had finally arrived with a reprieve from work, and you were thrilled that your stint of being the Love Therapist was almost over. May had promised to find a replacement after two weeks.

You hadn’t bothered to ask for feedback, because you just didn’t care.

“I was not brutal,” you added. “I was merely being honest. Just because Leah told people what they wanted to hear, it doesn’t mean that she was giving good advice. Wasn’t I right about Dan the Jerk? The one who lied to you and said he was visiting a sick uncle in Hartford, when he was really sneaking out to see his other girlfriend?”

“You were right,” Natasha relented. “He was garbage, but I just got unlucky that time. I’ve also had plenty of decent dates. Not every man is like that, Y/N. Why can’t you just be hopeful for once? Other people have love and you haven’t found someone yet, so what? You’re gonna find an exception to the rule. You’re gonna find someone soon, and I just hope you don’t push him away just because you’re suspicious and cynical.”

You were about to reply with something a little less-than-nice, but before you could, two firemen walked into the coffee shop in full gear, and you found yourself unable to look away. God, it was just like one of those horrible romance books you adored. A fireman walks into a coffee shop…

“Earth to Y/N,” Natasha said, waving her hand in front of your face. She followed your line of sight to see what caught your attention. “Are you really into firemen or do you know one of them?”

“So what if I have a thing for guys in uniforms,” you said sheepishly, raising an eyebrow at her. “I’m allowed to look. What does it matter? They always have hot girlfriends or wives, anyways.”

The two of you glanced back over at the two men. One was blond with blue eyes, and one had brown hair with blue-grey eyes. Both were over-the-top attractive.

“Which one do you want?” Nat whispered.

“I think I like the brunette,” you replied, chewing on your lip thoughtfully. It wasn’t like you to objectify someone, but you let yourself have this one indulgence.

“Good, because that blond has an ass on him that I want to bite!” Natasha rested her chin on her hand with a dramatic sigh.

“Stop,” you exclaimed with a laugh. “Just stop.”

You must have laughed too loudly, because you found yourself locked in a staring contest with the hottie brunette fireman.

His eyes widened, and he turned back to say something to his buddy, which made the other guy turn and look, too. The blond fireman shook his head, as if he was protesting what the brunette was saying.

That’s when the brunette fireman began walking over to you with a determined look, and the blond man trailed behind, looking like he was completely against the idea.

“Oh, shit, Y/N! You got their attention! See?” Natasha sat up, putting on her best flirty look. You felt like a potato next to her. “Be cool. Don’t mess this up for us.”

There was no time for a comeback, because the men were suddenly right beside your table.

“Hey! You’re that Love Therapist, aren’t you?” the brunette asked. “Y/N, right?”

“Right,” you said nervously, offering a smile. “It’s just a temporary stint, though.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “I’m Bucky Barnes, and this is my best friend Steve Rogers. We’re both based in Brooklyn here.”

“Hi there, I’m Natasha. Why are two handsome fellas like you watching a love advice show on YouTube?” Natasha smiled at them, laying it on thick. “I’m sure you don’t have trouble with the ladies?”

Bucky’s expression darkened a little, and he offered no reply, so Steve answered for him. “Uh…we used to watch because the old host was pretty hot. The guys got a kick out of it at the station.” Steve looked back at you. “No offense, I mean, you’re a sight too, it’s just that…”

“Hey, I completely get it.” You held both your hands up jokingly for a second. “Leah brought in the viewers, that’s for sure. But like I said, it’s not my real job, I’m just filling in.”

“So you’re offering advice that you aren’t really qualified to offer, then?” Bucky’s expression was now more like a glare, and a chill rolled down your spine.

“She’s qualified, she has a degree in psychology,” Natasha supplied, finally noticing the change in Bucky’s demeanor. “What’s it to you, anyway?”

“Nothing,” Steve answered again for him. “It’s nothing. It was nice to meet you ladies, but we should be getting back to work.” He tried to pull Bucky away from the table, but his attention once again fixed on you.

“Can I call you sometime?” The corner of his mouth lifted a little.

Your eyes widened in surprise. Was this guy nuts or something? Three seconds ago he was giving you a death glare, and now he was smiling. “Me?”

Bucky’s blue-grey eyes sparkled; now he seemed to be flirting with you, of all things. “Yeah, maybe we can go out sometime.”

“Um.” You looked at Natasha for help, since your thoughts were a little muddled. The attractive fireman, the one you would have picked out for yourself if you could, was asking you out after seeming a little put-off by your line of work. What the hell were you going to say?

“She’d love to go,” Natasha answered, looking to Steve. “In fact, maybe we can make it a double date?”

Steve’s face lit up. “That’s a great idea. What are you girls doing tonight?”

The movies now seemed a little too intimate for some reason. The darkness, sitting beside one another…that would be too much for a first date in your opinion.

“We were going to a bar,” you blurted out. “You can join us if you want.” Where was this newfound ability to get yourself a date coming from?

“Here,” Bucky said, reaching for your phone that was sitting on the table in front of you. You stared in total shock as he plugged his number in, then sent himself a text. “Now we have each other’s numbers. We’ll meet up later after our shift is over, okay?”

“Okay, see you later,” you replied meekly.

This was all a little surreal; did being on a popular internet show really nab you a hot fireman just now? Leah must have been rolling in attention from hotties! Who needed a dating app and creepy dudes messaging you, when you could be recognized in a coffee shop?

Once they were gone, you turned to look at Natasha. “What the hell just happened?”

“You’re internet famous now, cupcake, and we’ve got a double date with two of the hottest guys in Brooklyn!” Natasha did a little happy dance. “I’m definitely going to need to go shopping, and since I’ve seen your closet, so are you.”

“But-“

“No buts! Firemen, Y/N! Hot firemen! We are definitely going shopping!”

“Fine,” you agreed, pretending to be miserable. “But only because I think I read about this in one of my trashy novels once, and I wanna see if it ends with me getting to see a fireman’s pole, too.”

“I wouldn’t bring that up later if I were you.” Natasha laughed, hitting your arm. “Come on, weirdo. Let’s go.”

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

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