#also why is every girl ever in these books named tessa

[ank01-fan]

Stylist of the Year, Including Naya Ashley, Jason Rembert, Maeve Reilly + More

Celebrity style, fashion shows, lookbooks and campaigns would cease to exist without stylists. Stylists are the architects of the industry. Creating stories and trends with every look. We owe a lot to the individuals that never stopped playing dressing up. From their red carpet domination to glorious celebrity rebrands, celebrity stylists have been killing it all 2022. Here are the FABY nominees for Stylist of the Year: Click here to vote

Behind the best of Winnie Harlow’s, Lala Anthony’s, and Megan Fox’s looks, stands Maeve Reilly. Reilly knows how to take her clients from day to night and red carpet to street without compromising on their sexy-inclusive aesthetics.

Wayman + Micah

Wayman Bannerman and Micah McDonald sit among The Hollywood Reporter’s Top 10 Power Stylists of the Decade. Their appreciation for color on the red carpet and valiance in the face of experimentation make them a styling duo you can’t help but watch. You can credit Wayman + Micah for Kiki Layne’s style evolution, Tessa Thompson’s standout street style looks, and Regina King’s regal red carpet presence.

Elly Karamoh is known for dressing the Harvey family. He’s the reason Steve Harvey may win a Faby of his own this year while he keeps Harvey’s daughter Lori in internet-breaking looks at every event.

If you’ve ever wondered why Monica looks so fly and who keeps Kandi Burruss looking as sweet as her name, Jeremy Haynes is the answer. Haynes has had his hand in dressing musical legends for a large sum of his career. He keeps his clients in commanding looks by keeping a roster of bright, bold, and illuminating pieces on his racks.

Jason Rembert has dressed some of the biggest names in Hollywood. From supermodel veteran Iman to the queen of R&B Mary J. Blige, his client book is the creme de la creme of entertainment. This roster of talent trusts Rembert to dress them in looks just as alluring as they are, and he delivers every time.

There isn’t much detail on the sister styling duo behind Kylie Jenner’s looks, but it’s known that they keep the youngest of the Kardashian/Jenner clan the most consistently best dressed. As Kylie continues to excel in her career, the Grandquist sisters have done a fine job keeping her at the forefront of fashion conversation.

Cardi B has always been a girl with style, but a large part of her It Girl success is heavily influenced by Kollin Carter. Since splitting with her former stylist, Cardi and Carter have formed a dynamic relationship that has only elevated Cardi as a fashion girl.

Since growing further into their stardom, Chloe and Halle Bailey have trusted Udechukwu to stylishly elevate their brands. Udechukwu is also responsible for the jaw-dropping glamor that is Kelly Rowland’s style.

Karla Welch takes credit for styling many Hollywood actresses, but her most prominent relationship is that of her and Tracee Ellis Ross. With Ross’ immense love for fashion and Welch’s remarkable talent to pull pieces together, this dynamic duo has kept Hollywood wanting more on every red carpet, press tour, and Instagram post.

Consider Jaheel Weaver Rihanna’s right hand in everything style. Behind every polarizing look, from her maternity couture tour to Fenty campaign and launch parties, is Weaver’s golden strings pulling everything together like a posh puppeteer.

Thomas Christos is most notably known for dressing the Wade girls. He’s Gabrielle Union’s go-to guy for every event, and we have him to thank for the continued making of incoming It Girl Zaya Wade.

Legendary queens Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj trust Diandre Tristan to get their looks right. He’s a master in Minaj’s label-heavy looks that explore bright colors and textures, which she usually coordinates with a wig. He also effortlessly channels Carey’s dynamic diva energy with lush velvet gowns and crystal corsets.

If you enjoyed Michelle Obama’s versatile book tour looks, you have Meredith Koop to thank. Obama’s book tour is one of the most talked about style tours of 2022, and Koop deserves all her flowers. The former First Lady isn’t a stranger to a well-curated look, but with Koop, Obama explores all sides of style from White House-approved elegance to double denim.

The rap girls trust Naya Ashley, and they should. She understands the texture, pattern, and color play needed to get a ‘fit off. She’s added upcoming star Glorilla to her roster and she’s already locked in one 2022 Stylist of the Year award. She plays no games and we love to see it. Takes an icon to dress one. Billingsley is the stylish stylist behind some of the most beautiful Black talent. From new girls like Coco Jones to industry icons like Michelle Williams, Billingsley brings a cinematic sense of feeling and boldness to every look. Vote for Stylist of the Year below: Click here to vote #Stylist #Year #Including #Naya #Ashley #Jason #Rembert #Maeve #Reilly Read the full article

[venranae]

So sorry for all the typos. Was using the tiny old iPod so I could read on my phone and write whatever bullshit. That screen is so fucking thin omg.

And from what I remember after some drama with Rosalyn, dastien ends up biting her at the party cause the wolf inside him wanted her so bad he couldn’t help itttttt. OH I think that’s when she gets locked in her new dorm room at st ailbes. She wakes up there. I think it’s in the first book, she and dastien have a “you turned me im mad at you but our wolves are in love so we’re drawn to eachother and also Inlove” but before they get together, he’s her PE teacher. Lmfaoooo.

I READ ALL THE REST YOU SEND BUT BC ITS THAT LONG IMMA WRITE MY OPINION ON THE LAST MESSAGE CAUSW WHAT THE HELL IS THISS😭����😭 NAURRR WHY IS HE HER TEACHER THATS SO WEIRD AND UNCOMFY AND WHY DOES THIS BOOK HAVE SO MANY CLICHES WITH THE BADDIE BITCH GIRL THAT ONLY WEARS SKIRTS TO THE WILD ALPHA GUY QJQKDQÖOSQO CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP 😭😭😭✋ THIS IS LITERALLY AN ABO FIC

[wagner-fell]

I am still very new to this website and I don’t know how link a post but this fic is based on a post by @sandersgrey

(If someone reading this knows how to link a post please either explain it to me or link it in the comments because that post is *amazing*)

“Hmmm,” said Tessa, depositing Mina into Kit’s waiting arms and examining her buzzing phone critically. She shot a quizzical look in his direction.

Jem looked up from his novel. “What is ‘hmmm’, my love?”

Kit mimed vomiting but stopped dead in his tracks when she replied, “it’s Astrid’s mother. You remember her from parent teacher night, don’t you, my darling?” Kit swears they were being extra insufferable just to mess with him but he didn’t have the time to be annoyed when Astrid’s. Mom. Was. Calling. Tessa.

To understand why Kit was panicking as much as he was, you must know that Astrid’s mom was incredibly chill. She never got mad. The worst punishment she’d ever given her daughter was taking away her iPod for a week so she couldn’t listen to Mitski.

Was she calling about last night when Astrid, Mari and Kit threw eggs at the Shadowhunter’s that were giving Mari’s pack a hard time for no reason? No, that couldn’t be it. She’d given them the eggs.

Could the call be about the day before yesterday when Kit and Astrid got distracted doing homework and ended up snapping the coffee table clean in half while battling gladiator style with pool noodles? No, that wasn’t it. She’d just handed Astrid a twenty and told them to go to Kevin’s parents' shop and get a new one. Was she pissed because they ended up spending the money on ice cream instead? No, they ended up finding a table for free in the rubbing bin outside a fancy hotel.

Kit clutched his sister to his chest and prepared for the worst.

“Seo-yoon! What can I do for- Oh, hello Astrid!” Tessa paused briefly, presumably to listen to Astrid speak, and Kit sighed in relief.

“Kit is occupied at the moment but I can relay the message.” Another pause. “Oh don’t be frightened of me. I’m a tots rad mom. Your secret is safe with me.” Kit felt his face flush red as he heard his best friend’s laughter echo across the living room. “Okay! I’ll let him know. He has to get Mina to sleep before he can leave though. Lord knows he’s the only one who can these days.” Tessa chuckled at something Astrid said before wishing her good luck in her endeavour and ending the call.

She turned her attention back to Kit. “Astrid needs your help breaking into your teacher’s home to retrieve her cell phone.”

Kit blinked at her, dumbfounded. “You aren’t mad I’m going to go break the law?”

Because of course he was doing it. Astrid’s dad had bought it for her and he was extremely cautious about money. That was one of three things Kit knew about her dad. He was cheap, he lived in America and he loved the movie Fight Club.

Tessa ruffled Kit’s hair affectionately. “Please. I’ve raised two other Herondales. At least I know about this particular adventure beforehand.”

Mina began snoring softly and Kit handed her back to her mother. He grabbed his bag and started his journey to the door when Tessa added, “she also told me to say hi to a ‘daddy Kit’. Are you ‘daddy Kit?’”

‘Daddy Kit’ closed his eyes and wished for the sweet release of death.

“Why is Kit a daddy,” Jem asked, genuinely confused. “Aren’t I the daddy?”

Kit swung the door open so fast not even a speed rune could have aided him. But not before I heard Tessa reply, “Lily Chen certainly thinks so.”

Mrs. MacNamara clapped her hands together. “Why don’t we all go around and say a few things about ourselves?”

Kit buried his face into his hands. He’d been relieved when no other teacher had fulfilled the Disney channel stereotype of making every student introduce themselves to the new kid. But Mrs. MacNamara didn’t even seem to realize what she was doing.

All Kit’s fellow classmates groan. Expect one. Her hand shot up immediately. She was short, like smaller than Clary short. She wore a baggy pink shirt with the words ‘Queen Glimmer of Etheria’ sewed on with purple sequins and tight black jeans. Her colourful, choppy hair was in a low ponytail and she flew a few strands out of her eyes as her hand wiggled in the hair.

Mrs. MacNamara pointed at her. She stood up and smiled at Kit. “Hi. My name is Astrid. My hobbies include making my little cousin’s girl Barbies kiss, as it should be, and watching television shows where everyone is a terrible person so you can love all of them!”

“And what shows might that be?” asked Kit, already in the process of pulling out his phone and opening the Notes app.

“Grey’s Anatomy, Glee, Grey’s Anatomy again because it’s seventeen seasons as of right now. And to be fair it practically became a different show when they killed off Mark Sloan.”

“That’s enough, Miss Yang,” said Mrs. MacNamara. Astrid sat down and winked at Kit. Then she took out her phone and airdropped him a complete list of all her favorite shows, along with her number.

After Blessica’s pre-birthday birthday party, they went to Cirenworth and stayed up till four A.M. binging them.

They met outside a queer dry bar called Aries Not Welcome, the unspoken gathering place of the Merry Hoes. It was run by a poly lesbian couple in their mid-thirties. Quinn, Sydney and Aliyah may not have served alcohol but at least they were open 24/7.

“Did you bring the shit?”

Kit gave her a look. “The shit? How conclusive.”

“Shut up. You know, the shadowhunter thing.”

“The shadowhunter thing?”

“The, the, the glow stick that you draw with.”

“The glow stick that I draw wi-“ Kit closed his eyes briefly. “Do you mean a stele?”

Astrid snapped her fingers. “That’s it!” Kit shook his head in exasperation, smiling fondly. “I borrowed a torch from Quinn, let’s move.”

“Should I be worried that you know where Mr. Smith lives?” questioned Kit as he followed Astrid’s lead through the park.

“Should I be worried that your mom was fine with us breaking and entering?” she shot back playfully. Kit pushed Astrid and she fell off the path, laughing all the way.

“You called me ‘daddy’ to my mom’s face.”

She just laughed harder, slinging her arm around Kit’s shoulder. “It was over the phone, Christopher. And as I should.”

“Pffffttt. Why did you get your phone taken anyway?” She put her hands into her jumper pocket and looked at the ground. “Astrid.” She remained silent. “Astrid?”

She mumbled something under her breath. “What?” asked Kit.

“I WAS READING NINEJ FANFICTION!” she shouted.

Kit gasped. “I thought you were a die hard Kanej shipper,” he whispered.

“I’m a multishipper, okay?!” she replied, equally quiet.

“Does Blessica know?”

She shook her head. “And she will never find out.”

Kit saw the opportunity and he seized it. “She’ll never find out as long as you never call me daddy in front of either of my parents.”

She removed her arm from his shoulder and guided them out of the park, in the direction of the many apartments that lined this side of town. “I hate you.”

“Well, so does Mari. You're not special, Ast.”

She rolled her eyes. “You know Mari doesn’t actually hate you, right?! They’re just still in the enemy phase of your enemies-to-lovers romance. She only dislikes you because they feel something for you but they don’t know what so she interrupts it as loathing. In reality, her inner soul knows you’re hot and shmexie.”

Kit didn’t know how to process this so he just nodded and follow Astrid in silence to Mr. Smith’s house. (Plus, he was kinda glad that, according to his best friend, he had a little more time for Mari to ‘discover their true feelings’. If Kit screwed this up, he was out of countries to run off to.)

“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me.”

“What,” asked Kit, turning around to face Astrid and closing the drawer he was rifling through. “Did you find your phone?”

“Yeah. But I also found Blessica’s. She was Snapping Kevin. Platonic my ass. But he took the fucking trans flag out of her phone!”

Kit snatched Blessica’s phone out of her hand to examine it for herself. She was telling the truth. Where the glitter pride flag usually rested was just a clear purple case. Kit couldn’t believe his eyes.

“It’s one thing to misgender her every day.” Blessica had forced all four of the other Merry Hoes to sign a contract saying they wouldn’t do anything to harm him because of it. “But this is the last straw. You know what we have to do.” Oops.

“Yeah, but we don’t have any spray paint.”

Kit eyed Mr. Smith’s pink sofa, blue bar stool covers and white picture frames. “I think I have something better in mind.”

It would have been easier for both parties to just zip off the sofa cushions and tape them to the wall but by ripping them off in strips, they ensured he would have to buy new ones. And judging by the car he drove and the fiji water in his fridge, Mr. Smith could definitely afford it.

That reminded him, “I’ll finish up with this. Go put all his fiji water into my bag.” Astrid saluted him and ran off. “Wait.” She stopped and looked at him. “Steal all the remotes you can find.”

“How is he not awake?,” asked Astrid as they ripped the fabric of his seating from the stool.

He shrugged. “Don’t question it.” He shoved the bundle of cloth into her arms. “Glue this above the pink. I’ll handle the frames.”

“Say the magic word,” she sang.

“Please?”

“No. Lesbian. Come on, I thought you knew me better than that.”

Kit laughed quietly. “Can you lesbian glue this above the pink?”

She grinned at Kit. “It would be my pleasure.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hello! Sorry I haven’t written anything in so long. School just restarted and it has been…a lot.

@adoravel-fenomeno @thechangeling @the-blackdale @the-wckd-powers @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @ithurielkeepsgettingkidnapped @noah-herondale-lightwood @arangiajoan @shelvesofgold @maxboythedog @book-dragon-not-worm @hardlymatters

Very sorry if I forgot anyone. Lmk if you want to be addEd/removEd from the tag list.

[joshjacksons]

Joshua Jackson interview with "Mr Porter" (2021)

Minutes before Mr Joshua Jackson joins me in a booth for a Friday afternoon drink at a vibey hotel bar in Santa Monica, he’s confronted by his past. Or rather, a woman in her early twenties who is binge-watching Dawson’s Creek, the teen show about a close-knit group of high-school friends coming of age in a sleepy American town, which made Jackson incredibly famous between 1998 and 2003. The series, which also made household names of Ms Michelle Williams and Ms Katie Holmes, went off air 18 years ago, but is now streaming on Netflix, to the bemusement of Jackson, who played lovable rogue Pacey Witter. “This girl was like, ‘Are you...?’ And I’m like, ‘Yes, I am. He got old. I’m sorry to break it to you,’” he says, before ordering an iced tea and a charcuterie board to tide him over until dinner time. “It always surprises me when young people say they’ve just got into Dawson’s Creek. I’m like, ‘Is it a costume drama to you? Do you feel like you’re watching a historical documentary?’”

The idea of a Friends-style reunion episode or a Sex And The City revival feels equally far-fetched to Canadian-born Jackson, now 43 and wearing it well in a pale green linen shirt and tailored linen trousers by Oliver Spencer that complement his fading brown hair and Cali-tanned skin.

“I don’t know why you’d want to [bring it back],” he says. “Nobody needs to know what those characters are doing in middle age. We left them in a nice place. Nobody needs to see that Pacey’s back hurts. I don’t think we need that update.”

And Jackson doesn’t need Dawson’s Creek. From Mr JJ Abrams’ sci-fi series Fringe (2008-2013) to the Golden Globe award-winning The Affair (2014-2019), from Ms Ava DuVernay’s ground-breaking true-crime drama When They See Us (2019) to the recent Ms Reese Witherspoon and Ms Kerry Washington-produced Little Fires Everywhere (2020), he has commanded the small screen – with a collection of dynamic and diverse work – ever since.

His latest role as Mr Christopher Duntsch, the Texas surgeon convicted of gross malpractice when 33 of his patients were left seriously injured after he operated on them and two of them died, in chilling Peacock crime drama Dr Death, is only stepping his career up another gear.

“I’ve never played anyone irredeemable before,” says Jackson, who is joined in the eight-part series (based on the 2018 Wondery podcast of the same name) by Messrs Christian Slater and Alec Baldwin. “He is charming, gregarious and has a high-level intellect, but he’s also a misogynist, probably a sociopath, certainly a narcissist and a complete incompetent who is incapable of seeing himself.”

If Duntsch is terrifying, then Jackson’s portrayal is even more so. The artist formerly known as Pacey is virtually unrecognisable (thanks to prosthetics) in the opening scene, but the real challenge for Jackson was allowing himself to view someone who is so “spectacularly evil” as a human being in order to walk in his shoes. “It’s a more damning portrayal of the man to make him into a human being, rather than just make him the bad guy,” he says. “He really believes he’s the hero, he’s the genius and that he’s the victim, so once I got past my own judgment, all the other things fell into place.”

Jackson might have his pick of stellar roles – and challenges – now, but it has not happened by accident. Take it from someone who has been in the business since landing his first job aged 14 in Disney’s live-action movie series The Mighty Ducks, opposite Brat Pack alumnus Mr Emilio Estevez.

“You try to make it look like it happens accidentally,” he says, “but there is no way to do this and not be ambitious. I’d say I’m extremely ambitious because I’ve been doing this cutthroat job for nearly 30 years. I’m in the pay-off phase of my career now. One of the benefits of surviving for as long as I have is you get to learn from your own mistakes.”

Such as? “I wouldn’t say, ‘I wish I hadn’t done that,’ because it all becomes bricks in a path, but [after Dawson’s Creek] I was not choosy enough about the things I was doing. You get stuck. You start trying to perform the performance you think people are hoping to see you do. I was so used to working all the time that I just worked all the time. There was definitely a conscious moment in my mid-twenties when I realised I wasn’t really enjoying the work that I was doing. My manager at the time just said, ‘Take a breath. You’re burnt out.’”

The turning point came in 2005, when Jackson was offered a role in the two-hander Mr David Mamet play A Life In The Theatre, opposite Sir Patrick Stewart. “God bless him, Patrick could have made my life miserable because I had no idea what I was doing, ” he says. “I hadn’t been on stage since I was a kid and now I was in the West End in over my head. But it reminded me that I actually enjoyed being an actor, that it’s not about the red carpet or travelling around the world. What I really enjoy is working on good material with good people.”

It’s no surprise Jackson’s time on Dawson’s Creek led to a career crisis. From the ages of 19 to 24, he lived with his fellow cast mates in Wilmington, North Carolina, filming day in, day out, in an arrangement he likens to college. “You get to the end and they’re like, ‘Here’s your degree. Go live now. You’re an adult. Go out into the world,’” he says.

But most graduates don’t have to deal with global fame. “It’s transitory. You’re only ever cool for a moment and then you become much less cool. I was always pretty dubious about flatterers,” he says, recalling a time he was stung in London in the mid-2000s. “I went on a date in Hyde Park with a woman whose name I will not use – she was socialite-famous – and she was acting completely bizarre, looking over her shoulder the whole time. I came to find out that she had hired a photographer to follow us through the park and gave a whole story to the tabloids about how I was going to meet her family.”

It was his growing fortune, rather than fame, that caused Jackson the most anxiety. “Suddenly, at 19 years old, I was making more in a week than most of my friends’ parents would make in a year,” he says. “It was lovely to have the money, but it was that feeling of nobody is worth that kind of money. You feel like a fraud and it took me a long time to forgive myself for not being the thing that I was perceived as.”

Born in Vancouver, but raised in Topanga, California, until he was eight (before moving back to Vancouver following his parents’ divorce), Jackson bought his childhood home in 2001 and lives in it today with his wife, British Queen & Slim actor Ms Jodie Turner-Smith, and their 15-month-old daughter.

“My father unfortunately was not a good father or a husband and exited the scene, but that house in Topanga was where everything felt simple, so it was a very healing thing for me to do,” he says. Fast-forward to 2021 and his baby daughter now sleeps in her father’s childhood bedroom. “There was a mural of a dragon on the wall in that room that I couldn’t believe was still there, years later. The owner [who sold him the house] said, ‘I knew it meant a lot to somebody and that they were going to come back for it some day.’”

Becoming a first-time parent during a pandemic sounds stressful, but it afforded Jackson months at home with his wife and child that his normal work schedule wouldn’t have allowed.

“I now recognise how perverse the way that we have set up our society is,” he says. “There is not a father I know who works a regular job who didn’t go back to the office a week later. It’s robbing that man of the opportunity to bond with his child and spend time with his partner.”

Despite his obvious career ambitions, fatherhood has changed Jackson’s priorities in “every possible way”, he says. “It’s 100 per cent changed how I approach my work and my life. That has been made so clear to me in this past year. For me to feel good about what I’m doing day to day, my family has to be the central focus.

“There are plenty of things left for me to do, but now the thing that gets me excited is experiencing the world through my daughter’s eyes. I can’t wait to take her scuba diving. I can’t wait to take her skiing. I can’t wait to read a great book with her. I’m not worried at all she’ll be a wallflower. She’s been a character from the word go.”

Jackson met Turner-Smith, 34, two days after his 40th birthday. He had been single since his 10-year relationship with German actress Ms Diane Kruger ended in 2016. “I was not looking to fall in love again or meet the mother of my child, but life has other plans for you,” he says.

The couple met at a party. Turner-Smith was wearing the same The Future Is Female Ejaculation T-shirt Ms Tessa Thompson’s character, Detroit, wears in the 2018 film Sorry To Bother You. “That’s what I used to break the ice. I shouted, ‘Detroit!’ across the room. Not the smoothest thing I’ve ever done, but it worked. We were pretty much inseparable from the word go. It was a whirlwind romance and I can tell my daughter I literally saw her mother across a room and thought, ‘I have to be next to this woman.’”

A self-confessed “useless” shopper, Jackson gives his wife full credit for his current wardrobe. He is jewellery-free, apart from a wedding band and a gold signet “JJ” ring on his little finger (a present from his wife), and discovered tailored sweatsuits (by Stampd and Reigning Champ) in the pandemic.

“Jodie has influence in the way that a wonderful wife encourages you, through love, to dress well. She was like, ‘We’re going to throw away all the sweatpants from your past and I’m going to get you some that actually make you look like an adult male and you will still feel comfortable around the house,’ and I’m like, ‘What an amazing idea!’ Who knew you could get sweatsuits that actually look good on your body?”

Jackson’s style has evolved, he says, “from slovenly teen to it’s-nice-when-your-clothes-actually-fit-you”. The penny dropped after he auditioned for his former co-star Estevez, who was directing the 2006 Mr Robert Kennedy biopic Bobby. He said to me, ‘You only got this job because I know you. You came in here to play a very well-put together 1960s political operative and you’re wearing jeans and a hoodie.’

“I had to grow up a little bit. We are very much raised in Canada to never, ever show off, so it took me a while to recognise it’s OK to look good when you go out.”

Still, when you’ve grown up in front of the camera, “every pimple literally documented”, and lived (very successfully) to tell the tale, you can probably be forgiven for the odd fashion faux pas.

“I wore a silk Ascot to an event once in Paris and I still have nightmares about it,” he says. “I looked like Fred from Scooby Doo, but you live and learn.”

[waitimcomingtoo]

My Girl - Oh Baby

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: everyone things Paddys crush on you is adorable. Everyone except Tom.

Check out the full series:

My Girl

My Girl - Something Blue

Regular Masterlist

A/N: another story where I mention chickens. Also, where are my gleeks 

“I still can’t believe you bought chickens.” You laughed at a photo of Tom and his chickens before shutting your phone off and setting it on your nightstand. You rolled over in bed to face Tom as he let out a sigh.

“I had to!” He protested. “They’re not that bad. Our family of two has become a family of 5 now.”

You watched him carefully, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth before you asked the question that had been weighing on you.

“What about expanding our family even more?” You asked him, impatiently waiting for his reaction.

“Honestly, Angel, I love you but I can’t handle anymore chickens.” Tom looked at you apologetically and you laughed.

“No, I didn’t mean more chickens.” You shook your head and he raised an eyebrow.

“Another dog?” He questioned. You took this as an opportunity to take his hand and squeeze it.

“A baby.” You said softly. Toms eyes lit up at a happy smile appeared on his face.

“What?” He leaned in closer to you to make sure he was hearing you correctly.

“I want to have a baby, Tom.” You repeated. “I want to start our family.”

“You want to have a baby? A human baby?” His smile got impossibly wider.

“Preferably.” You chuckled.

“Really? Like really, really?” He sat up and squeezed your hands, looking at you with all the hope in the world

“Really, really.” You cupped his face and beamed at him. “So what do you say?“

“I say let’s make a baby.” Tom said triumphantly before pulling you into a kiss.

~

“We have an announcement.” Tom said excitedly as he stood before his family. It reminded him of the time he’d announced your engagement, or even the time he first told his brothers that he was dating you. He snuck a glance at you, admitting how far you’d come together. From his childhood crush to his wife, and soon the mother of his child.

“Divorce.” Paddy jumped up, ruining Tom’s daydream. “We all saw it coming.”

“What? No.” Tom quickly shut him down.

“Why are you smiling?” Harry questioned his younger brother.

“Lots of marriages end in divorce.” Paddy shrugged. “It’s okay, Y/n. It’ll be okay.”

You looked at Tom in amusement who had his hands firmly on his hips.

“What about me?” He snapped at Paddy. “And why am I bothered that you wouldn’t comfort me in my hypothetical divorce?”

“You have an announcement?” Nikki tried to bring the conversation back.

“Yes. We do.” Tom pointed at him mom before taking your hand in his. “Y/n and I are trying for a baby.”

“Ahhh!” Nikki screamed and got off the couch, running to hug you. Dom went to Tom and patted him on the back proudly.

“This is great news, Tom. I’m so happy to hear it.” Dom congratulated his son.

“Congrats, man.” Harry enveloped Tom in a bear hug.

“I’m the one you should be congratulating. I’m gonna be an uncle!” Sam joined in on the hug.

“But I’ll be the superior uncle.” Harry popped his head up from the hug to glare at Sam.

“There’s no one superior to Uncle Sam. Ask America.” Sam scoffed.

“We’re English.” Tom deadpanned.

“And? They beat us in all those wars. Maybe they’re onto something.” Sam retorted.

“I can be the fun uncle, you’ll be cool uncle, and Paddy will be the uncle that’s been staring off into space ever since Tom and Y/n announced they were trying for a baby.” Hardy joked as they turned their attention to Paddy. He wasn’t wrong. Ever since Tom made the announcement, Paddy had been staring off in a blank daze.

“Paddy? You all right?” Tom asked wearily.

“Do I seem all right?” He said without releasing his gaze.

“You seem possessed.” Harry remarked.

“You guys can’t have a baby!” Paddy sputtered, snapping his attention to you and Tom.

“Here we go.” Tom sighed, knowing the gripe was ahead.

“You’re so young and Tom is so immature and Y/n already works so hard while Tom plays dress up and…” Paddy stopped and took a deep breath, his eyes landing on the look on your face. You had been smiling before he spoke, and now you weren’t. He recalled the conversation he’d had with you at the wedding, how happy you were when he finally accepted your relationship with Tom. He sighed and gave a gentle smile. “And I’m really happy for you guys.”

“You are?” Your eyes lit up. Paddy gave you a gentle smile and a nod.

“Yeah. Toms taken care of me all my life. It’s time he takes care of someone else.” He decided. You broke into a huge smile and ran to hug him.

“Thanks, Paddy.” You said as you wrapped your arms around him. “I’m glad that you feel that way.”

He hugged you back, pleased with himself for making you happy. Maybe he didn’t support your relationship, but he was never gonna stop trying to make you happy.

Later that night, you and Tom sat in bed, brainstorming ideas for the baby’s name.

“If it’s a boy, how about Neil Patrick Holland?” You suggested as you flipped through a baby book.

“Dare I say I’ve never heard a worse idea.” Tom chuckled as he looked up from his own parenting book.

“Really? I think it’d be funny.” You shrugged as you turned your attention back to the book.

“It won’t be funny when our child resents us for giving him that name.” Tom pointed out and you chuckled.

“Fine. How about Hamlet?” You suggested and Tom gave you a tight lipped smile.

“Why don’t you let me think of the names, yeah?” He said as politely as he could.

“Well what were you thinking?” You challenged him.

“Well, for a girl, I was thinking Beth.” He said timidly, nervous of your reaction. A small smile lit up your features, all the way to your eyes. You shut your book and looked at Tom fondly.

“Beth? Like our wedding song?” You asked. He nodded shyly.

“Exactly.” He said. “Or maybe Charlie for a boy?”

“Like your grandpa.” You recognized the name.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind.” He wanted time make sure you were okay with it too.

“I don’t mind at all.” You reached over and laced his hand in yours. “I love those names.”

“And I love you.” Tom leaned in to kiss you. You went back to reading your books, still holding hands. After a beat of silence, Tom reached the bottom of his page.

“Baby?” Tom spoke gently.

“Yeah?” You replied, still reading.

“How do we turn the pages?” Tom asked.

~

“Is it time?” Tom nervously cracked his knuckles after waiting the longest five minutes of his life. You nodded curtly and picked the pregnancy test up from the counter, not looking at it yet.

“Yeah. Come here.” You waved him over and he came quickly. He held your hand and kissed the back of it as you uncovered the results.

“Negative.” You read with a shaky voice. You threw the test down and covered your face with your hands, not wanting Tom to see you getting emotional. “That’s our fourth negative.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Tom tried to pull you into a hug but you pulled away.

“No it’s not!” You threw them stick down, making Tom jump. “I don’t understand. What’s wrong with me?”

You sat down on the toilet and cried hot tears of frustration into your hands. Tom knelt down beside you and put a gentle hand on your back.

“Theres nothing wrong with you, angel. This isn’t your fault.” He said softly, rubbing slow circles on your back. You looked up at him through your tear filled eyelashes.

“I can’t do the one thing humans were put on this earth to do.” You said through gritted teeth. He gave you a comforting smile and wiped your tears with his thumbs.

“Hey, women are not baby making machines, okay?” He chuckled softly. “We’ve only tried a few times. It doesn’t happen for every body on the first try. We’ll try again tonight, okay love?”

“What if it never happens for us?” You whispered in fear. Tom took your hands in his and kissed them.

“There are other ways to have a baby.” He insisted. “We can adopt or try some fertility treatments.”

“I should be able to do this. Most women can.” You berated yourself.

“But not all women. We can and we will try again. This is gonna happen for us.” Tom took your chin between his thumb and forefinger and made you look at him. “I’m not leaving until you smile.”

You rolled your eyes but he stayed persistent.

“I’m serious. I’ll sit on this bathroom floor all night.” He said, making you crack a smile.

“That’s better. Now come on.” He held your hand and helped you off the toilet. “This baby won’t make itself.”

~

A month later, you were having dinner at the Holland’s. Tom organized it to cheer you up, being it was two months since you started trying for a baby, and still no luck. You excused yourself during dinner, feeling a little nauseous all the sudden. When you didn’t come back for a while, Tom began to worry.

“I’m gonna go check on her.” Tom said, beginning to get out of his seat. Paddy held up a hand and got out of his.

“You’re still eating. I’ll go check.” He said, always wanting to come to your aid. He went to the master bedroom and knocked on the bathroom door.

“Y/n? You all right?” He asked.

“I’m fine. I’m just feeling a little hot.” You called. Paddy was about to speak when he heard your phone ringing from the bed.

“Paddy, could you get that for me please?” You called from the bathroom.

“Sure.” He picked up your phone and held it to his ear. “Hello?”

“Mrs. Holland! Congratulations! You’re pregnant!” A cheery female voice sounded from the other side of the phone. Paddy’s hand clenched around the phone as his body froze in shock.

“WHAT?” He shrieked at a pitch that made Tessa start barking from the other room.

“Is this a child?” The lady on the phone asked.

“Y/n is pregnant? With a baby? A human baby?” He sputtered. He had overheard Tom telling Sam that he was having trouble having a baby and thought it was off the table.

“So this is definitely a child.” The woman said definitively.

“Uh, no.” Paddy cleared his throat and deepened his voice. “This is her husband.”

“No, it’s really not.” The woman sighed. “Could you tell Y/n to call her OBGYN please?”

“Her what?” Paddy didn’t recognize the word.

“Her gynecologist.” The woman tried a different approach.

“That’s even worse.” Paddy said honestly.

“Her gyno. Can you remember that?” The woman said tiredly.

“Yes. I think so.” Paddy nodded, repeated the word to himself to solidify it in his mind.

“Okay, thank you. Tell her to call her gyno immediately.” The woman asked as you came out of the bathroom. Paddy hung up the phone and dropped it on the bed, staring at you blankly as you approached him.

“Thanks, Paddy.” You picked up your phone and put it in your back pocket. “Who was it?”

“You’re pregnant?!” Paddy asked in disbelief, wondering why you never told the family.

“What? No.” You laughed him off and shook your head.

“If you’re not pregnant then why did your gyro just tell me you are?” Paddy asked and you tilted your head.

“My what?” You questioned.

“Your gyro.” He said simply and you stared at him blankly. “The gyrocologist!”

“My gynecologist?” You realized as your face paled.

“Yes! That.” Paddy snapped his fingers and you covered your hand with your mouth. He looked at you quizzically, thinking you already knew about the pregnancy.

“My gynecologist said I was pregnant?” You whispered as a tear slid down your cheek.

“Yes, she just told me.” Paddy said and came to an unfortunate realization. “Oh, you didn’t know, did you?”

“No.” You shook your head and placed a hand on your tummy.

“I ruined the surprise, didn’t I?” Paddy grimaced.

“It’s okay.” You gave him a gentle smile. “Can you go get Tom?”

“Yeah. Right. Tom.” Paddy dashed out of the room and returned shortly with Tom behind him. He quickly left the room to give you privacy.

“What is it, baby?” Tom asked as he entered the room, immediately going to you. “Why are you crying?”

You took his hands and placed them over your tummy. He looked at you curiously before it clicked.

“I just got a call from the gynecologist.” You told him and his eyes lit up.

“And?” He asked hopefully.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” You nodded and he broke into a huge smile.

“What?” He asked as tears filled his eyes.

“We’re gonna have a baby. A human baby.” You cried and he looked at your tummy in disbelief.

Tom, too overcome with emotion to say anything, pulled you into his arms and cried into your hair.

“Thank you so much.” He whispered into ear.

“I really didn’t think it was gonna happen.” You wiped a tear and hugged him tighter.

Paddy, who could hear the conversation from the hallway, smiled to himself. Your happiness gave him happiness, and he was determined to make this baby’s life perfect.

And that began with the pregnancy.

Paddy somewhat returned to his old ways around you. If you needed something, he was the one to get it. Tom didn’t mind the behavior this time around. Preparing for a baby was a lot of work, and an extra set of hands didn’t hurt. Besides, Tom was the one attending the breathing classes, shopping for baby clothes, and making a registry with you. If Paddy wanted to take care of the little things, he could.

And he did.

Paddy always made sure you had enough pillows…

“Baby support.” As he would call it.

…enough snacks…

“Pickles? You need pickles? I read in 13 different parenthood that pregnant women crave pickles. I also didn’t know what kinda of chocolate you wanted so I got it all.” Paddy said as he gentle placed a variety of chocolate bars on your six month pregnant tummy.

“Wow, thanks Pads.” You laughed as you opened a bar.

“Anything for you.” He smiled before his eyes landed on Sam. “Samuel, is that hot sauce?”

“It’s for my burrito.” Sam said awkwardly, mid bite of his burrito.

“Hot sauce is not safe for pregnant women to ingest. Is your burrito more important than my future niece or nephew?” Paddy demanded.

“No?” Sam asked in confusion.

“Take it outside.” Paddy barked.

…and enough attention.

“I read that babies can sense when the mother is lonely. Actually, I saw it in Birdbox. I brought your favorite movie and some pickles. I thought we could watch it together.” Paddy said as he presented you with your favorite film.

“Aw, that sounds great Pads.” Tom said as he entered the room, taking a seat next to his pregnant wife. Paddy, who hadn’t originally planned on including Tom, faked a smile.

“The more then merrier, is what I always say.” Paddy said through his teeth.

“When have you ever said-“ Tom began to question.

“Always.” Paddy snapped and popped the movie in the DVD player.

In nine short months, the day had finally arrived. The Holland family, as well as your family, patiently waited in the waiting room as you went into labor. Paddy, who had passed out when he heard the news of your water breaking, was now sitting glumly in a wiat room chair.

“Mate, come on. Y/n is gonna give birth any minute. Mum and dad are already in there.” Harry urged Paddy to get out of the waiting room chair.

“I’m not going in there.” Paddy grumbled.

“Are you crying?” Sam realized when he saw his brothers cheeks glistening.

“No.” Paddy sniffled as he wiped his cheek.

“Yes you are. Why?” Harry said as he took a seat.

“Because I’ve spent my entire life loving a girl who is about to have a baby with my brother.” Paddy protested, making Sam and Harry exchange a look.

“I thought you were over this.” Sam sighed.

“I thought so too!” Paddy snapped. “But Tom and I fighting over her has always been a staple of our family and now he has his own family. He’s not gonna come around anymore.” His voice got quieter and Harry and Sam understood what this was about. They knelt down on either side of of his chair and looked at him.

“Of course he’ll still come around.” Harry promised.

“Why would he? Why would he need his baby brother when he has a baby of his own?” Paddy said sadly. “He’s gonna start a new family with his new baby and he won’t need us.”

“He’s always gonna need us, Pads. I honestly don’t think he knows what detergent is.” Hardy cracked a smile and Paddy halted at him.

“This isn’t a joke, Harry.” He said bitterly.

“I know it’s not. But this baby isn’t replacing our family. It’s expanding it.” Harry reasoned. “We’re all gonna have to come together to make sure this baby is the happiest baby in the U.K. That’s gonna make our family closer than ever.”

“And you’re always gonna be our baby brother. But now you have a new title.” Sam added.

“What?” Paddy asked curiously.

“Baby uncle.” Sam said, making a face when he heard how dumb it sounded.

“Bunkle, if you will.” Harry nodded.

“I absolutely will not!” Paddy snapped.

“Then just uncle will do. And being an uncle comes with a lot of responsibility. It’s our job to corrupt that baby and make Tom look like a total nerd.” Sam jeered.

“He might have that part covered.” Hardy reminded them.

“What if I’m a bad uncle?” Paddy feared.

“None of us have done this before. We’re all gonna be figuring it out together. And if you mess up, just blame one of us.” Sam told him.

“Yeah. Just blame Sam.” Harry added and Sam gave him a look.

“No matter what, we have each other to fall back on. This baby is a great thing, Paddy. Just wait and see.” Sam smiled at his younger brother. Paddy nodded, finally smiling back. A nurse in pink scrubs coming into the waiting room caught their attention.

“Paddy Holland?” The nurse asked.

“Yes?” Paddy stood up from his chair.

“Y/n would like to see you.” The nurse smiled kindly.

“Coming.” Paddy told her before turning back to his brothers. “What’s that about?”

“Maybe she finally realized she wants to be with you over Tom.” Harry shrugged.

“Shut up. Really? No she didn’t. Do you think though? She wouldn’t. Right?” Paddy went through a range of emotions and his brothers laughed.

“Just go.” Sam pushed him forward. Paddy nodded and followed the nurse down the hall. She opened the door to a room and let Paddy go inside.

Once inside the room, Paddy saw you laying in bed with Tom right beside you. Something inside him told him to be quiet, so he stood patiently at the door without saying a word. The opening of the door alerted you to his presence and you waved him over.

“Hey, Paddy.” You said softly as Paddy approached your bed. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

As Paddy knelt beside the bed, you moved your arms to reveal a sleeping baby wrapped in a pink blanket.

“We wanted you to be the first to meet her.” Tom smiled proudly at his brother. Paddy stared at the baby in childlike wonder and you bounced her gently.

“Paddy, this is Beth Patrica Holland.” You told him.

“Patricia?” Paddy looked you at you expectingly.

“Yeah. After my favorite brother.” Tom smiled at his brother, then held a finger to his lips, signaling him not to tell Sam or Harry.

“She’s beautiful.” Paddy breathed as he saw mini versions of your features in the newborns face. “She looks just like you.”

“You think so? I think she looks more like Tom.” You laughed softly as you nuzzled your nose to Beth’s head.

“No, no.” Paddy shook his head. “Like I said, she’s beautiful.”

Before Tom could respond, Beth coughed and her eyelids fluttered open. Paddy stared into her eyes, seemingly void of color but a mixture of every color all at once. He smiled at Beth, and smiled back.

“She smiled at me!” He tried to keep his voice down, but the excitement got to him.

“That means she just used her diaper. Tommy, could you?” You held the baby up and Tom happily took her in his arms.

“Of course. Come here, Princess.” He cooed to his daughter as he walked to the changing table. Paddy finally took a good look at you. You were sweaty and makeup free, forehead still glistening. Your hair was pushed back and your cheeks had a dewy pinkness to them that Paddy had never seen before.

“You look beautiful too.” He said sincerely and you chuckled.

“I look like a just pushed a human out of me.” You shook your head.

“Exactly.” He said. “That’s a beautiful thing to do.”

You looked at him fondly and gave him a soft smile.

“You know, it was my idea to make her middle name Patricia.” You told him.

“Really?” He asked.

“Yeah. I had to name her after my boy.” You cupped his face and he beamed at you. Maybe he didn’t end up with you like he wanted, but he was still your boy. You had just confirmed it.

“I’m gonna take care of her.” Paddy looked over at Beth with determination. “I promise.”

“I know you will.” You said and pulled him into a hug.

Over at the changing table, Tom sang quietly to Beth as he changed her diaper.

“Just a few more hours and I’ll be right home to you. I think I hear them calling. Oh Beth, what can I do? Beth, what can I do?” He sang and she squeezed his finger, making him well up with tears. He picked her up and held her against his chest, letting her warm up after being on the cold table. He continued singing softly in her ear as stroked her tuft of hair.

“Hurry up, Tom.” Paddy called quietly from the bed, dying to see Beth again. “I want to see my girl.”

Tag List 🏷

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[thechangeling]

Ok so a conversation @littlx-songbxrd and I were having made me remember something I was ranting about to a friend of mine once.

Brace yourselves this is going to be long. I'm sorry.

The sexism, homophobia and racism of the shadoworld straight up doesn't make sense and here's why. So if we start chronologically with the infernal devices. There is sexism towards Charlotte right? People don't want her running the institute and they don't want her becoming the consul because she is a woman. But the Clave has no problem letting women train and fight. This doesn't really make sense in my opinion.

Now you could argue that it's because they believe woman can be string capable fighters just not rational thinkers. Which is weird because in my experience you don't meet a lot of people who are "partially sexist" in that way. Like if a man believes a woman can't do high profile, high paying jobs then they usually also don't want them in the military. Anyways moving on, there aren't any mentions of homophobia in TID, mostly because they're arent any queer characters except Magnus and Woolsey.

But something interesting to point out is that none of the characters who know about Magnus and Woolsey ever comment on it really. And following this point, none of the mains display any signs of misogyny either really. (Except for what Will says to Tessa at the end of CA but that was because of the "curse.") You could argue that this is because they're the protagonists so they are supposed to be better then that. But accidental microaggressions are pretty common especially during that time period. More on that later.

Moving onto racism, this is the interesting part. Jem says to Tessa that shadowhunters believe that you are a shadowhunter first and your nationality or eace second. Actually Jem doesnt mention race but he says this while talking about being half Chinese so it's kinda relevant. Shadowhunters rarely tall about race throughout the books in general except for a few instances. When Jessamine criticizes Jem to Tessa, she calls him a foreigner and says some other racist shit that I can't really remember. Something about the yin fin and calling him lazy. That directly contradicts Jem's statement about them all being shadowhunters first. Also Will and Jem actually constantly talk about being Welsh and Chinese in the books so that statement is kinda bogus in general.

And if CC didn't want her mains being sexist or homophobic to show them as good people then why was it ok for both Jesse and Gabriel to say questionable shit about Jem? Anyways moving on to TLH. Sexism is still running rampid with their cultural customs and people being shitty about Charlotte being consul. Bots have to ask the girls to dance, girls cannot have sex before marriage or else they will be ruined or whatever you know the drill. But again, they let the girls fight. Cordelia is allowed to carry around a giant ass sword but she can't get some????

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE CASSANDRA!!!!!

Sorry I'm losing it. Anyways. Regarding racism. Alastair and Cordelia have experienced micro aggressions from the mains (Matthew and Anna) but it's never addressed. I'm pretty sure if memory serves, the inquisitor makes a nasty comment under his breath about persians when the Carstairs family sans Elias arrive. And then we have the whitewashing of Ariadne/Kamala by her parents.

But none of this stuff ever gets brought up really. Exceot for Kamala talking about her past and who she was before and sharing her original name, but she still doesn't talk about how it effects her potential coming out. Alastair doesnt mention race when he talks about the bullying he went through at the academy and none of the white characters ever stop to think about how Kamala and Alastsir's races play a part in their crappy situations.

There's probably more I could discuss with this but I'm moving on to homophobia. It's a thing in terms of the heteronormativity and people's judgement of Anna but it's not illegal like in mundane societies at this time. But all of the mains are totally cool with it which brings me to, I'm sorry but fucking bullshit! There is no way every single adult would be totally fine with it in this time period. Like I'm not saying outright homophobia but maybe some questionable comments you know? (CC is perpetuating this idea that good people never commit microaggressions which is untrue and harmful.)

I don't think there's any mention of whether or not gay marriage is allowed in the shadowhunter world at this point. Because the issues surrounding Magnus and Alec getting married were about Magnus being a warlock right? Because Helen and Aline got married before them in TFTSA because she was only half fae. So that brings me to when was gay marriage legalized in the shadow world?????

Is there any mention of this because I don't think there is? Anyways moving onto TMI. This is where everything goes to absolute shit in terms of world building with the standards for these things. Misogyny isn't really a problem in tmi anymore from what I remember. Nobody has issues with Jia as consul (from what I remember,) and that's that. But homophobia is still rambid throughout shadowhunter society so much so that Alec is terrified to come out because he believes that he can't be gay and be a shadowhunter in peoples eyes. Also there is pressure to "carry on the family name" which doesn't make sense because if the sexism has died out then women can have babies with whoever and not even be married and carry on their family line. And not everyone needs to have children, ergo there is less pressure on the sons to carry on the family name or whatever. This also doesn't make sense because homophobia literally cannot exist without sexism!!!!

This is because of colonial gender roles being forced on society. And men being with men and women being with woman totally smashes the whole gender roles, "woman do this and men do that" idea. There's more that I could say on that but this is already so freaking long so please just look it up. And speaking of gender roles it's literally mentioned that Maryse didn't teach Izzy to cook because she didn't want her to be forced into a housewife role like she was (although there's no evidence to suggest she was?) But then Maryse is lowkey homophobic?

It doesn't make sense Cassandra!!!!!

CC doesn't get that you literally don't have homophobia or transphobia without sexism. Indigenous societies pre-colonization didn't care about any of that stuff. Literally two spirit people were revered and respected and no one gave a fuck about gender until my ancestors literally came along and ruined everything. (I'm so sorry.)

But anyways there's no mentions of racism amongst the shadowhunters in tmi. Just Maia talking about her experiences with mundane society as a black girl. When Clary confronts Valentine and basically calls him a n*zi, he laughs at her and basically says that shadowhunters don't see race the way mundanes do which yikes @ CC. Granted this was 2007. This kind of sounds like what Jem said in TID. Only it clearly wasnt true.

Anyways I'm just super confused at this point. In TDA there was basically nothing in terms of all the isms and phobias. (Oh we arent even discussing ableism because my fucking head will explode!) But we do discuss transphobia a bit with Diana. But again it doesn't make fucking sense because transphobia exists because of sexism and clear gender roles (and homophobia.)

Society is still shown to be pretty heteronormative though which I guess makes sense but the Blackthorns have multiple queers in their family! You would think that they would be less so. When Livvy mentions all the reasons that Annabel could have a forbidden love she doesnt even think to mention that it could be a lesbian relationship. When Mark finds out that Jaime was in Dru's room he freaks out but I guarentee you, he wouldn't have if Jaime was a girl. I mean you could argue that it's an age thing and not a gender thing but idk. That scene always bothered the fuck out of me. Because Mark is literally half fae like why is he caught up on bullshit "boys and girls can't just be friends" hetero bullshit.

In QOAAD we see Dane Larksoear being sexist so randomly for no reason. Like it's so strange because CC literally created a caricature of a sexist villian with him. And it makes no sense because no one else seems to feel the way he does. Like Zara is basically the leader of the cohort right? And nobody gives a fuck. It makes no damn sense Cassandra!

And finally, why is the faerie world sexist with gender roles WHEN EVERYONE IS LITERALLY BISEXUAL AND THEY'RE FAERIES CASSANDRA!!!???? THEY'RE LITERALLY FAERIES WHY IS THERE A CONCEPT OF GENDER AT ALL CASSANDRA????!!!!

Ok lol now I'm done. Sorry this is so long. But yeah I'm so confused.

Tldr: CC's world building in regards to sexism, homophobia, racism and transphobia is very inconsistent and contradictory and it makes no damn sense.

[sringvenkas-moved]

reasons why cc is disgusting:

INCEST.

alec was in love with jace, who is his adoptive brother which means this is legally incest.

she writes clary and jace to fall in love, only to pull a luke and leia on their asses and continuing to write them romantically in the second book when we didn’t know they weren’t actually related yet.

and then we have sebastian, who actually IS her brother, who kisses her and is overall obsessed with her. 

this and this tweet where she said she ships damon and stefan, who are brothers.

RACISM. 

85% of the characters of color in her books are half white.

put maia, a black girl, in an abusive relationship.

SEXISM. 

she slutshames isabelle and clary in the show, even saying that isabelle looks like on of sebastian’s girls and in the show, the same sebastian who uses girls for sex and degrades the, who kissed and sexually assaulted his sister

HOMOPHOBIA.

she retracted her declaration of magnus’ bisexuality, instead she said that he is “technically” pansexual but really “identifies” “currently” as bi, because he would date a nonbinary person. see here.

every straight couple has been intimate in the books. jace and clary. simon and isabelle. clary and simon get kisses and cuddles galore! maia and jordan. emma and julian. will and tessa. jem and tessa. but alec and magnus? no, they’re relegated to a side story.

ISLAMOPHOBIA.

when asked if there are ever going to be muslim shadowhunters, she says that there can’t be since “They worship Raziel, and as such, they can’t be Muslim or Catholic or belong to other religions the way mundane humans can.” but there are christian shadowhunters. simon is jewish.

she also said that sona (if that’s her correct name) is partly muslim. that just shows her ignorance.

OTHERS.

according to several people online, she has bullied fans for years

maia is put into a relationship with her past abuser, isabelle gets shamed left and right for what she wears and how she acts, alec makes out of character biphobic comments towards magnus, simon is a two-timing Brony Friendzoney; all of which is gross and is honestly more a reflection on her own views rather than the characters themselves being shitty

she’s writing porn for charity. she’s writing alec and magnus’ first time for charity. no comment.

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Parabatai bond  Essay... Why they may all be destined to end

Parabatai: defined by Cassandra Clare as a rare intense where a pare of warriors connect/bond in childhood and then decide to knit their souls together so that they can always stay together and always carry a piece of the other inside them. Defined by the fandom as “ a type of (supposedly) platonic marriage”. Cassandra Clare also wants to claim it as a type of bond that is unique to the shadow world, but honestly I can name several pair of Parabatai all across different media’s. Just looking at early 2000′s children's anime and Disney esqu movies we have Ash/Pikachu, Yugi Muto/the Pharaoh, Hiccup/Toothless, Woody/Buzz, etc...

... If you share my taste in these media’s you probably noticed that of the 4 other series “Parabatai” I listed 3 out of 4 (Ash and Pikachu are still partners right?) have to split off from the other due to changes of destiny/life. This is also the case for man,y many parabatai in The Shadowhunter Chronicles. Sounding off pairs that are important enough for me to care about underneath

Jonathan Shadowhunter/David the Silent: Let’s began at the beginning. Jonathan Shadowhunter was the first ever Shadowhunter. His favorite person in the world was his companion David, who wasn’t as much of a fighter as Jonathan but was very smart and very good at keeping Jonathan grounded when necessary. After being traumatized by a greater demon when fighting alone one da, David gave up fighting (and speaking), and became the first ever silent brother. The story said this broke their bond and broke Jonathan down to tears. I am sure David still loved him though. David could have chosen to go back to being a mundane but instead chose to undergo the rituals to turn himself into a silent brother. David was never that into fighting/war. Everything he did he did out of love for Johnathan. When David was no longer able to be there for Jonathan as a solider, he found a new way as a Silent Brother.

Robert Lightwood/ Michael Wayland: Parabatai and joined at the hip as teenagers. When Michael confessed to having romantic feelings towards Robert confusion as to his own feelings and fears surrounded by change drove Robert to reject Michael in a cruel and harsh way. Their bond is officially severed after the uprising when Michael die,s and Robert is exiled. Decades later Robert still regards hurting Michael as the biggest mistake in his life, the persist moment when he lost faith in himself. It is only after he confesses to his oldest child what he did and how it still haunts him all these years, only after he is finally able to acknowledge within himself the importance of the memories he has of Michael, that Robert is able to finally turn his life around for the better.

Valentine Morgenstern/ Lucian Greymark: Parabatai while studying at the academy, and for a few years afterwards. When Luke started to doubt Valentine’s plans, Valentine took him to be ambushed by a pack of feral werewolves hoping Luke would be killed instead Luke was turned. After this Valentine and Luke became bitter enemy's. These two men who once had so much love for the other, now swore to destroy any plan the other had and would fight with the intent to kill upon seeing he other. Despite all this bad blood, both still loved the memories of who the other used to be, and it is implied that a lot of their hatred for who the other is now is born from grief over they Parabatai they lost.

William Herondale/James Carstairs: CC’s closest Parabatai pair. Both Will and Jem had their whole lives shattered by demons when they were just children, and afterwards questioned at times if it was still really had much of a reason to carry on. Then they met each other and decided that they had to carry on because they loved the other to much to leave them alone. These two are in a way echo’s of Jonathan and David, and like David Jem joins the brotherhood when it is no longer possible for him to stay with Will and Tessa as a shadowhunter. They lose the bonds, but keep their love for each other. Will calls silent city on a daily basis with some excuse for needing Brother Zachariah, and Jem faithfully answers every call.

Julian Backthorn/Emma Carstairs: Fall in love, turn into Giant “true Shadowhunters”. Their bond is severed when their runes are burned off by heavenly fire coursing though their veins. By this time though their relationship had already changed from a platonic one to a romantic one.

James Herondale/ Matthew Fairchild: The two that unquestionably love each other, but do not always love the others choices. As Parabatai they try to reach out to the other and help them. But both boys deal with so much and have trouble recognizing/excepting help when it when offered. Matthew is more aware of James issues than James is of Mathews, All though by the end of Chain of Iron even Matthew is at lose to understand James. James for his part only just starts to realize how sick Matthew may be. There are a lot of theories floating around that Matthew may being to sick to function as/ protect himself as a shadowhunter. With so much to recover from will their Parabatai bond last, or are they destined to seperate?

Cordelia Carstairs/ Lucie Herondale: The will they-won’t they pair. They have planed o one day become Parabatai since they were little girls, but have never gotten around to it. They are both nearly adults now and the story already seems to be puling them in opposite direction, so a lot of people now doubt that they will even make it to the ceremony. 

Jace Herondale/ Alexander Lightwood: CC’ first pair of Parabatai, and so far the only pair to keep their bond for the whole series. Like seriously even when Jace died, he came back with the bond intact and Alec reporting that he only felt a little off for a few minutes. CC’s newest reasoning behind that is that there is apparently a delay time between one parabatai dying and the bond severing, and Jace came back before his and Alec’s had time to do more than fray at the edges. So that means that our boys stayed tethered together even when Jace was on his way to the afterlife. WOW (keep this reason CC, it actually kinda works). Jace and Alec’s bond has lasted the longest, but we still have 4 more books where something bad can happen to one of them, and they are now fighting in 2 wars at once.

Clary Fairchild/ SImon Lovelace: became Parabatai in between series, after both failing as a couple, and Simon going through multiple species changes. They are still parabatai in the most recent book but, like with Jace and Alec, we still have 4 future books that could change in. Clary, Jace, and Simon are CC’s three original main characters. She claims that the plan is to wrap up the Shadowhunter Chronicles for good in The Wicked Powers. What is the likelihood that she will leave all three of her original mains alive. I mean Clary already had a vision where “a version of herself” died, and Simon was originally supposed to die in COHF, but CC’s friends begged her to let him live.

 While CC claims that Parabatai are rare in her universe, what seems to actually be rare is Parabatai staying bonded throughout the pairs lives. Why is that? Well lets remember that one of the rules for Parabatai is that they must meet and be bonded during childhood, Once they become adults they are no longer eligible. A fact of growing up is that lives and people change: We make friends, we love our friends,are there for them while we can be, and yet sometimes as we grow friends part ways. People die, they move away, or just grow apart. Memories of old friends and places we all used to hang out become beloved memories of being younger. During a time in our lives when we felt more innocent and care free. A time that sadly never lasts. In conclusion to why parabatai bonds tend to break parabatai could represent the close bonds of childhood, the friends who helped you grow into an adult, and some one who you are able to treasure your memories of as an adult, even if, due to circumstance, you no longer see that person as much or at all. Value your parabatai because you don’t know how long you will actually have them

[outerbanksjjforever]

Romeo and Juliet

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Tessa Thornton.

Warnings: None.

A/N: 1.3k words.

Requests: Open.

Summary: The first night JJ saw his Juliet.

Part 2 Masterlist

“Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.” -William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet.

Sarah was dragging the pogues to a party at Topper’s. He had invited her, and only her. So, she wanted to annoy him by brining all the pogues to his house. JJ complained about going, he didn't want to be around all the kooks or get into a fight, but because all his friends agreed to go, he did too. 

The Pogues got to the huge mansion where Topper lived. Sarah brought the group around front and that’s when she saw Topper. He came over to them and was talking to Sarah, probably complaining that she had brought the Pogues. JJ wasn't paying attention though. “I'm gonna go to the washroom.” he whispered to Kie and she nodded.

JJ slipped away from the others, leaving them to deal with Topper. As he entered the house, he decided to let his curiosity take over and go exploring. He headed upstairs, looking around at everything. He noticed a door slightly open with light coming from it. He quietly headed over and peered in. It was a bedroom, nobody seemed to be in the room though, so he stepped in. There was a queen size bed against one wall, it had a lot of blankets on it. Some were silk, and some were very fuzzy. It also had many pillows on it. JJ wondered who the girl was that stayed here in Topper’s house. He continued looking around the room. On another side of the room, there was a large bookshelf. It had way too many books on it for JJ to count. “Clearly she likes to read.” JJ thought. He continued his gaze to another part of the room, there was a large window there, with exceptionally light curtains hanging from it. Beside it were a bunch of pictures. He walked over to get a better look at them. There was a beautiful girl in most of the pictures, JJ’s lips parted slightly as he was in awe from looking at her. He didn't even notice that someone had entered the room when he heard a gasp. It caught him off guard and he jumped turning around. That was when he saw her.

The girl in the pictures. She was even more stunning in person. His mouth fell open as he stared at her. She blushed from the handsome stranger in her room. That was when JJ saw all the innocence in her. She wasn't like anyone else he had ever saw before. She was so pure. “What are you doing in my room?” she asked him, with a smile on her face. JJ smiled back and may have even blushed a little. “Your room” he repeated. He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. “Saw the door open and wanted to check it out” he said. “Well,” she said and walked over near her bed, that was when he noticed a book in her hands. He recognized it from school. Romeo and Juliet. He never read the book, although he knew what happened in it. She set the book down on the dresser beside her bed and looked back over at him, sitting down. “Whatcha reading?” he asked, even though he already knew. She seemed to have gotten embarrassed about his question, because she looked away and once again the blush came across her cheeks. “Romeo and Juliet.” she said. JJ smiled and sat down on the bed beside her. “I can see the resemblance between us and the book. Didn't Romeo sneak into Juliet's house or something like that?” he said. She giggled. “Something like that.” she repeated, smiling. JJ loved the sound of her voice. It was like he found a missing piece of himself that he didn’t know was missing. “How come I’ve never seen you before?” he asked, curiously. She lived with Topper, so he should have seen her somewhere. “I don’t usually hang out with the kooks; they aren’t exactly my type of people to be friends with. I don’t like any of my brother’s friends.” she said.  “Is that why you aren’t down there joining the party?” he asked. “Yeah. Drinking or parties aren’t really my thing.” she said. JJ didn’t even really know who this girl was, but he wanted to protect her from all the bad things in this world. He never wanted to see her hurt. “Books are your thing?” he asked. She nodded her head. “I mean, it’s not like I could tell from the thousands of books on your bookshelf.” he said sarcastically, with a laugh. She laughed with him. “Is this your favourite book?” he asked, gesturing towards Romeo and Juliet. “Yeah. I’ve read it at least a million times.” she said. “Maybe I’ll have to read it.” he said. She smiled, looking down at her hands. He noticed a strand of hair hanging in front of her face, he reached over and softly brushed it behind her ear. His hands were rough against her delicate skin. It sent shivers throughout her body. JJ moved his hand down to her chin, holding her lightly. He studied every inch of her beautiful face, before his eyes fell to her lips. A light shade of pink and slightly open. He heard her breathing change, it was unsteadied. She wanted his lips against hers. He tilted his head slightly to the side and slowly leaned in, brushing his rough lips against hers before pressing them together. It was soft and passionate. She was different from all the other girls he has kissed before, he tried to stay gentle with her. Slowly their lips left each other, and she was trying to catch her breath. He smiled and said, “I don’t want to go, but I should probably get back to my friends before they think I got into a fight.” She frowned at the thought of him leaving. His presence made her feel safe, as if nothing in this world could ever hurt her. “Ok.” she said, about to move away from him when he put his hand on her shoulder to stop her. Her breath caught in her throat as he pressed his lips against hers again. Trying to remember the feeling of them, since he didn’t know when he would see her again. “I’ll come back for my Juliet soon, I promise.” he said, getting up and stopping at the doorway. “I’ll be here, waiting for my Romeo.” she said. He smiled and left her room.

He went back down the stairs to his friends. “Where have you been!? We’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Sarah asked. “Around.” was all JJ said, he didn’t want anyone else to know about his Juliet. He wanted her all to himself. Sarah looked at him questionably, then looked back up the stairs from where he came from. That’s when it clicked, and she realized he had met Topper’s sister. “Oh, I see now.” she said with a smile on her face. “You met Tessa.” she said smiling. “So that’s her name.” JJ mumbled, thinking about the girl he just met. “How come you never told me that Topper had a sister?” JJ asked. “Well, you don’t like kooks, so I figured you wouldn’t care.” she said. “She’s not like any kook I’ve ever met.” he said. Sarah smiled. “I’ll tell you ways to sneak into Topper’s house.” she said. He smiled at that. That was when the rest of the pogues came over to them. They looked at JJ questionably, but didn’t ask. Eventually they would have to find out about the girl who stole JJ’s heart in one night. They all went back to the van and drove away. JJ was going to come back. There was no way he was going to let this girl get away.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Do you think HR could ever be seriously respected? I would argue contemporary romance is because of the success of Normal People. Obviously Bridgerton broke through at the Emmys, but I think you could chalk that up to it being almost a zeitgeist event and a relatively weak TV year. There’s still a lot of pretension and derision about it regardless. Like I wonder had a more “artistic” streamer like HBO done an adaption? I think Bridgerton was fairly well crafted, particularly the aesthetics and vibe, but I kind of wish the very first HR adaption had had better source material/writing/acting. But it might not have been taken seriously regardless.

Well, first off I'd say that Normal People isn't considered romance by a lot of people, including possibly those marketing it. There was a pretty big controversy about a high profile article about the book a while back, basically discussing the ~amazing sex scenes (which.......... Sally Rooney doesn't do it for me, but okay) and how different the book is from anything out there. Which is funny, as there are contemporary romance novelists who, imo, leave Sally Rooney in the dust in virtually every way, but don't get the same amount of attention because they are marketed as romance, whereas Sally Rooney is marketing as literary/women's fiction. Look at the covers that Rooney's books get; I think they're hideous, personally, but that's probably because I prefer romance covers. Those aren't romance covers. The spread and critical, intellectual attention she gets is nothing like the jokey, "check this out ladiessss" smirks contemporary romance novelists get from non-romance critics. If they get any attention from general critics at all, which is a huge "if".

I don't think the lack of seriousness with which Bridgerton was treated had anything to do with Netflix being the streamer behind it. I think it had to do with how the show chose to focus on Lady Whistledown, for one thing; rather than approach it as a heartfelt, if fun romance, it was spun as 19th century Gossip Girl, which for me was a huge issue. It could have done something genuinely meaningful in its casting as well, but instead it basically pushed a "look at how great we are for casting people of color" narrative... while being incredibly colorist and handling the delicacies surrounding race rather badly in the script.

But it's also because there is a level of pretension around women's sexuality, people having fun, characters having happy endings. I don't think this is limited to historical romance, tbh. Contemporary romance novels are often dismissed as romcoms. Paranormal romances are ";) vampire/werewolf smut" heehee. The genre as a whole isn't taken seriously.

I think the only reason why contemporaries DO get passes from some mainstream audiences is that... to be frank, a lot of mainstream contemporaries today have very little sex in them. Now, many indie contemporaries are MUCH hotter than many historicals, but historicals almost always have sex in them; sex is a huge source of plot tension, due to the restrictions women faced centuries prior. Paranormals, which probably get less attention than either contemporaries or historicals right now, almost always include sex. I think people get embarrassed by sex--and the fact that many contemporaries are pretty tame, or at least LOOK tame if they're published by big names like Berkeley (ugh, the cartoon covers; Tessa Bailey's books look like they could be read by junior high kids, but they're filthy) whereas historicals and paranormals still often have racier covers, means that contemporaries are easier for people embarrassed by sex to pick up.

I think any historical romance adaptation would've had a hard time being taken seriously, but I do think that if the Wallflowers or the Rules of Scoundrels had been adapted first, there at least would've been a meatier story told. The Bridgerton books are (almost all) very fluffy. There is not a lot of depth to them. And that's fine, and it's not really fair that critics can't evaluate a show based on it succeeding at what it's supposed to succeed at, versus holding it against deeper~ endeavors.

But I'd also say that Bridgerton fumbled the ball in a lot of ways. The look of it isn't especially spectacular, which you could say for similar shows--even The Great, imo. They kept an unnecessary rape scene in and handled it horribly. Race is not done well by the show. In a lot of ways it succeeded, but I haven't really seen it move the marker in terms of how historical romance is perceived by those that could adapt it, so for me I'm like.... it missed a huge opportunity. I suspect the industry is waiting to see if season 2 proves it was a flash in the pan, or if it will be around to stay. That's not all the show's fault. But it definitely could have done a lot better on several levels.

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, adaline-blooms!

For @adaline-blooms​. Wishing my dear giftee a healthy and happy Christmas, and I hope you enjoy this gift!! <3

Read On AO3

*****

Chapter 1 - When You’re Feeling Weary

Alec is just making sure he’s mixed Magnus’ martini to his very stringent specifications when the man himself, looking entirely too put together to be feeling the supposed exhaustion Izzy’s text just warned him about, makes an entrance that has Alec eye-rolling in the fondest of ways.

Dressed in the all-black outfit with electric-blue accents that has to be Alec’s favourite, Magnus already has his attention, but the sultry neck-roll that he pairs so well with that heaving sigh guarantees it. Only before he can respond to this display of effortless sensuality, Magnus performs a well-timed heel-pivot and flops dramatically down onto the couch, with the limbs flung wide being a particularly nice touch.

Even by Magnus’ usual standards, that was impressive.

“Busy day, huh?” Alec asks, ambling over as he adds the obligatory olive. Trying, but largely failing, to keep a straight face.

“You could say that, Alexander,” comes the weary reply, followed by another sigh.

So adorable.

“Then perhaps this might help?” he enquires, holding out the drink and waiting for the reaction.

One glitter-rimmed eye cranks open. The smile is Alec’s reward.

“Well, it’s certainly a good start,” Magnus replies, eyebrows dancing as he somehow musters the energy to make it to a half-seated position, and swallows it down in one.

Okay.

“Another?”

With a wink, Magnus hands back the glass, and Alec is happy to comply. Grinning to himself as Magnus starts sniffing the air.

“Alexander, I know I may be hallucinating through sheer fatigue, but is that mouth-watering aroma I can smell coming from our kitchen, by any chance?”

More than a little offended but willing to forgive in the circumstances, Alec passes Magnus ‘liquid medicine number two’ and gallantly sees to the removal of his boots and coat.

“I’ll have you know that I’ve been practicing. Hard.”

Magnus still looks unconvinced.

“Fine. Hold onto your drink,” he warns before hoisting his disbelieving husband over his shoulder, ignoring the shriek and the spills, and marches into the kitchen where he’s only marginally more gentle about depositing him on the countertop. “Now do you believe me?”

Shame-faced, Magnus nods. His wide eyes take in the organised chaos of Alec’s dinner preparations, which Alec hopes will produce the best eight-ounce steak Magnus has ever eaten. Well, at the loft, at least.

“My apologies for doubting you, Alexander. It was just, given how-”

Palm raised, Alec halts the unnecessary explanation mid-flow. He did have form in ruining meals, after all. But not this one.

“I get it,” Alec assures him. “But like I said, I’ve been practicing.”

Two strong legs hook around his hips and draw him closer until they’re trapping him against Magnus’ body. Magnus gives him a quizzical look. “How could you possibly have known that I would need exactly this today?”

“My rather concerned sister gave me a heads up about your heroic exploits at Croton Point about an hour before you came home, because she was worried you may be feeling the consequences of having dealt with a particularly stubborn horde of Kuri earlier. Hence why everything to restore your depleted magic is already in hand.”

Alec knows he looks pretty pleased with himself, but seeing how visibly touched that news makes this man in front of him is also a worthwhile cause to be happy, without a doubt.

Raising his half-empty glass, Magnus addresses his gratitude to the ceiling. “Thank you, darling Isabelle.” Then swiftly downs the contents, before winding those equally strong arms around Alec’s neck. “You, however, deserve something altogether different as a sign of my heartfelt thanks.”

Alec couldn’t agree more, gladly accepting the thoroughly gratifying kiss that puts fire in his blood as his due for being thoughtful.

“Consider that the first of many you’ll be receiving tonight,” Magnus promises, as his thumb traces the outline of Alec’s kiss-swollen lips.

It’s Alec’s turn to heave a deep sigh.

A playful Magnus is a powerful thing, but if he wants Magnus brimming with energy to get those kisses, he needs to flex his culinary muscles without delay.

Only when he explains this is he reluctantly released.

Supplying a third martini to a now doubly-thirsty Magnus, Alec then focuses entirely on his cooking. Dodging those grabby limbs isn’t easy though. Mostly because their remarkably-energetic owner is a mischievous little shit who is in the mood for games.

A mood that Alec is hopeless to stop, not that he really wants to, even as he plates up the medium rare triumph and pours another zinger of a cocktail. Mostly thanks to Magnus’ excessive pleasure-noises as he works his razor-sharp jaw to chew, extends that elegant throat to swallow, and uses that wicked tongue to lick his lips.

Who needs actual food when you can provide a feast, Alec muses, chin resting in his palm as he dreamily enjoys the multi-sensory feedback he’s getting from a very aware Magnus. Is there anything better than seeing this man happy? Alec doesn’t think so.

He’s so eager for his second thank you kiss that Magnus has barely had time to put down his knife and fork before Alec’s dragging his chair out so that he can straddle him, their giggles making it harder but neither’s complaining.

“You continue to surprise and energise me, Alexander,” remarks a husky-voiced Magnus when they come up for air. “That was delicious.”

Alec’s about to thank him with a kiss of his own, when he adds, “The steak wasn’t too shabby either,” and they’re off giggling again.

Alec doesn’t think he’ll ever not blush when Magnus compliments him, and trying to hide behind his hands only results in being called “all kinds of cute,” so he sucks up all the embarrassing-but-secretly-pleasing adjectives being thrown at him and tugs his tormentor in the direction of their bathroom for phase three of his recovery.

Once he’s plonked Magnus in a chair and plugged his nonsense with a fifth martini, Alec fills the lavish, claw-foot tub with water, adding the iridescent blend of unknown boosters that he knows has to be used sparingly else Magnus will be on a super-charged magic rush again for days to come.

Alec didn’t think his body, or their bed, could survive that again.

Or could they?

Magnus’ filthy laugh means he’s not the only one thinking dirty thoughts, but Alec hasn’t gone to all this trouble to have both of them wiped out at the end of it.

“Cut that out,” he warns, to no avail, as he pulls the menace to his unsteady feet and begins the ever-enjoyable task of ridding Magnus of his beautiful clothes.

Meanwhile, Magnus is taking every opportunity to derail his efforts with kisses here and caresses there, deaf to Alec’s admittedly half-hearted protestations when he starts to return the favour of undressing him. All of which makes it impossible not to reciprocate with eager touches of his own.

Alec tries one last time to be good, even as he’s stepping into the bubble-filled bath and pulling Magnus down to rest against him. “I’m supposed to be helping you get your energy back, Magnus, not encouraging you to spend more.”

Magnus gives a lazy shrug of his shoulders, even as his hands begin to wander. “Then we’ll just have to take things very, very slowly.”

Oh well. He tried.

Chapter 2 - When You’re Feeling Sad

Alec’s just signing off on what feels like his hundredth mission report of the day when a message from Magnus shows up on his phone.

Mind if we postpone tonight’s plans? Fancy a quiet evening instead

His hesitation is brief, even if he’s surprised Magnus wants to skip on their much-anticipated theatre trip.

Not at all. Everything okay?

This hesitation is longer.

Tell you when you get home x

That’s all the reason Alec needs to clear his desk and inform Underhill that he’s done for the day. He knows Magnus had clients today, but he hadn’t been worried about them. As he heads home, he’s left wondering what could’ve happened since their goodbye kiss after breakfast.

The loft is in near darkness when Alec arrives, save for a sliver of light that spills from the balcony door left ajar, and the mild concern that prompted him to return early is replaced with a heavier sense of foreboding as he makes his way out there.

Hunched over the balcony wall and nursing what looks to be at least a double whiskey, is how Alec finds Magnus, and although his face can’t be seen from this angle, everything about his posture radiates a sadness that worries him.

“Magnus? Are you okay?” he asks softly, somehow still unprepared for the sorrow that’s etched on his husband’s face when he turns around and slowly shakes his head.

In two strides, Alec’s there to gather him up in a comforting hug, giving Magnus all the time he needs to explain what’s made him upset.

“We lost a promising young warlock today,” Magnus begins, barely audible from where he’s burrowed into Alec’s chest. “Her name was Zoe. A girl Clary saved the night I met you, after her father was killed by Valentine.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Magnus. I think I remember that name though,” Alec tells him as he presses a kiss to Magnus’ forehead. “Wasn’t she the one you asked Tessa to train at the Spiral Labyrinth?”

Magnus nods, a smile at least present in his voice now. “That’s right. She always had her head in a book, hungry for information. Gifted with an eidetic memory and a talent for learning languages, she really did have a very bright future ahead of her, until....”

Alec waits as Magnus drags in a shaky breath before continuing.

“As Tessa explained it, Zoe had recently added tutoring to her list of accomplishments. Something I was aware of, but I wish now I’d taken the time to ask her about. In lieu of her late father, I’d always felt a certain parental responsibility towards her. Anyway. While she was there, at the home of the family who hired her, she collapsed. No warning, no complaints of feeling unwell. No chance of help.”

Alec’s hands try to soothe but he doesn’t interrupt, preferring to let Magnus work through his emotions.

“I-it’s just such a shock, Alexander. Such a waste. Tessa said they can’t be sure it’s not magic-related yet, but...I’m finding it hard to accept that she’s gone. That I’ll never get to witness everything she undoubtedly would’ve become.”

Untangling himself momentarily, Alec brings him over to the lounger where he plucks the whiskey from Magnus’ hand and sets it down on the nearby table before they move in sync to settle in that age old way of dispensing comfort, with Magnus curled up in Alec’s lap, his fingers combing through Magnus’ hair.

“Magnus, I can only imagine what you and Tessa must be feeling right now. Passing way before her time, and so suddenly? It’s tragic. But I’m here for you. In whatever way helps you the most.” He’d protect him from every loss, every hurt, if he could.

“This is already helping. Truly,” Magnus assures him, head resting against Alec’s chest in order to hear the heartbeat he’s frequently said helps to send him to sleep.

Alec hopes it does now, and allows the long, peaceful minutes to stretch, feeling the tension in Magnus’ body gradually ease. He’s about to suggest they lie down instead, when Magnus speaks.

“I’m sorry about cancelling our plans tonight. I hope you’re not too disappointed?” A hint of amusement colours Magnus’ question and so, Alec takes his cue.

“Me, look forward to a show? Have you met me?”

It makes Magnus chuckle, but it’s a tired one. A state that’s reflected in how long it takes those beautiful eyes, too weary for glamour, to find his, and that elegant hand to cup Alec’s cheek in that way that never fails to make him feel precious.

“I have, and I will never be as grateful for anything else in this life, Alexander.”

The barely-there kiss is so reverential that Magnus finds sleep before Alec’s able to voice words of his own, but he hopes Magnus already knows how thankful he is too.

Closing his eyes, Alec promises to make a point of telling him as soon as they both wake up.

Chapter 3 - When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

Alec’s not sure what’s initially responsible for disturbing his fathoms-deep slumber, but the muffled stream of expletives he hears in that very familiar voice definitely has his attention now.

Reaching out blindly for Magnus’ side of the bed in the forlorn hope that he’s mistaken, Alec groans when all his fingers encounter is cold silk. Opening his bleary eyes to confirm the distinct lack of Magnus in their bed, he tugs on a t-shirt and stifles a yawn as he sets about finding the errant husband who’d promised he “wouldn’t be much longer” hours ago.

He’s just stumbled into the dimly-lit corridor outside the bedroom when a series of kabooms, followed by what Alec can only assume is a heartfelt curse in some ancient tongue, brings him not only to the half-open doorway of the unusually-chaotic apothecary, but also fully to his senses.

Surrounded by various experiments and too engrossed in the energetic scolding of his own fisted hands to notice Alec’s arrival, is a wildly dishevelled Magnus, whose exhaustion is writ large on his handsomely expressive face.

Alec decides they're both in need of a hug.

Hitching his top over his nose so as not to inhale any of the sulphur-and-spice-scented smoke that’s fogging up the room, Alec ventures cautiously inside.

Doing his best to avoid bumping into the extra tables that are covered in a myriad of mixing bowls and mason jars, and the messy assortment of ingredients that are strewn in between them, Alec inadvertently startles his fragile husband with his sudden appearance, causing him to dislodge a cylinder of liquid that scorches a hole in the priceless Persian rug mere inches from their feet.

At which point, Magnus promptly bursts into tears and collapses in a graceless heap on the floor. Feeling terrible, Alec joins him there and holds him as he whispers abject apologies that barely make it through the racket of frustrated sobs, until finally, in between sniffles, he receives forgiveness in the form of a salt-stained kiss.

“Magnus, what are you doing in here? Whatever it is, surely it can wait until morning?” Alec asks, using the hem of his shirt to wipe the worst of the tear stains from Magnus’ face. Even smudged and saddened, he’s still easily the most beautiful man Alec’s ever seen.

“Loathe as I am to admit it, Alexander,” Magnus replies in between hiccups, “I’ve bitten off more than I can chew with my current list of client orders, and instead of rectifying this sooner, I shall now have to admit to them, and to myself, that my own hubris will result in them either being delayed or cancelled all together.”

Even his gulp is cute, Alec muses, before pondering the best way to go about saving Magnus’ hard-won reputation from the brink of destruction, preferably without the need for any humiliating apologies. Given the time constraints, he can only think of one.

“I’m assuming at least some of those orders need filling by tomorrow if you haven’t been able to sleep yet?”

Sheepishly, Magnus holds up six shaky fingers, and regardless of whether or not the answer had been that or six hundred, Alec was not about to see those orders fail. Not with so much at stake.

Getting to his feet and pulling Magnus up with him, Alec offers his suggestion as his hands make light work of straightening out Magnus’ robe and his hair.

“Here’s what’s going to happen.” A hopeful glint in those warm brown eyes almost distracts him. “I’m going to put some pants on and make us both a generous mug of strong, black coffee while you salvage what you can here, and then,” he chuckles, cupping Magnus’ eager face in his hands, “I will try my best to help prepare the ingredients you need, so you can then concentrate on whatever process is needed for each order.”

Concerned, Magnus grips Alec’s waist and asks, “But it will take at least two hours for all the distilling and blending to be done, and then there’s-”

“Uh-uh, none of that. Positive thoughts only, Mr Lightwood-Bane, you have a humble assistant that needs training, after all,” Alec counters, dropping an encouraging kiss that threatens to flare out of control until Alec takes a firm step backwards.

“We’re supposed to be working,” he warns, wagging his finger at his unrepentant mentor and backing carefully out of the room, much preferring the sound of Magnus’ laughter to the sound of his tears.

With the aid of caffeine to boost their concentration and a near constant supply of cheeky kisses and inappropriate booty grabs, along with a lot of hard graft, dawn finds them bone-tired but relieved that their joint sacrifice has paid off.

Now, with two orders already boxed and ready to go, three in the final stages of resting and one that just requires filtering every half hour, Alec finally feels confident enough in their ability to meet the delivery deadlines to insist that Magnus, a spent force at this stage, catches up on the sleep denied him earlier.

Magnus’ mumbled protests eventually peter out as he’s carried bridal-style to their bed and tucked beneath the sheets, his peaceful expression being all the reward Alec needs to see him through the final hours of his vigil.

Chapter 4 - When You’re Feeling Worried

Having arrived home sooner than expected from his weekend of intensive Portal Enhancement lectures in Stockholm, Magnus can’t deny he’s more than a little disappointed not to be greeted by a strong pair of arms and an enthusiastic pair of lips.

Especially when his reason for curtailing his professional obligations was so he could be here for Alec on the eve of his important meeting with fellow institute heads.

Proud as he is of Alec’s commitment to change, they both know there’ll be many who will try and resist his controversial proposal that they each create their own Downworld Cabinet without delay, in order to deliver on promises made to their counterparts. As he’d said many times, no change worth making was ever easy.

A deep sigh escapes him.

Just for one day, it would be nice to let the mantle of responsibility slip from their shoulders and have nothing but each other’s happiness to worry about, but Magnus will gladly take every day he can get with Alec and cherish it, whatever the challenges may be. And right now, the challenge is to discover the whereabouts of his husband.

Skype catch-ups and hastily-arranged phone sex are no substitute for enjoying the tangible presence of your biggest supporter and primary stress-reliver rolled into one.

Only stopping long enough to make sure his research papers are stored securely in the apothecary’s safe and his case is banished to the bedroom, Magnus portals to Alec’s office where he finds his very own sleeping beauty sprawled awkwardly across the couch, surrounded by pages of scribbled out presentation notes, cartons of barely touched food and a dozen or so coffee cups that have been drained of every drop.

Another deep sigh escapes him.

Heart full at seeing that much-missed face, youthful in its slumber, but feeling guilt over allowing himself to be persuaded that Alec’s preparations were all going well and his smiling reassurances were genuine, Magnus vows to do better in future and prepares to get Alec, and his proposal, back on track.

Shrugging off his coat and folding it over the least cluttered surface he can find, he locks the door behind him with a quiet flourish and soundproofs the room, because as far as Magnus is concerned, only he should be privy to those adorable little snores.

Unable to give into the overwhelming urge to wake Alec up with slow kisses, Magnus settles instead on burying his face in the soft, untidy curls that still smell of sandalwood, as he kneels down to better wrestle Alec’s heavy limbs into a more comfortable position.

Guessing that Alec probably hasn’t slept much in the last twenty-four hours, he decides to leave him be for a little longer and covers him in the cashmere blanket that Magnus insists on being kept here in case of emergency naps, reviving the fire with a flick of his wrist.

Rolling up his sleeves and allowing his gaze to sweep those handsome features one last time, he turns his attention to the task in hand.

In the absence of a conscious Alec to berate, Magnus grumbles his way through the clean up operation, aware most of his annoyance is aimed at himself for not being here to help, but also knowing that sometimes, their work has to come first. He wishes it didn’t.

Decluttering the desk, and lamenting how Alec always manages to look after everyone but himself, Magnus' annoyance at all the unnecessary edits Alec has made to his already-perfect speech evaporates. As he organises them into what he thinks was the original order, it’s too easy to picture how Alec’s self-doubt would’ve made him see flaws in his preparation that just weren’t there.

Oh, Alexander, I wish you’d told me how you were really feeling.

Wrinkling his nose up at the pungent leftovers and the dark circles staining the surface of the desk, he quickly gets rid of the rubbish, replacing the stagnant odours with the mouth-watering smell of baked goods and beverages from their favourite bakery.

If he places it right under Alec’s nose in the hopes it wakes him up, so what? Magnus has been separated from the beautiful man that’s so temptingly draped across the cushions for two very long days and nights, and he’s missed him dreadfully. Surely, Alec has had enough rest by now.

Toeing off his boots and climbing cat-like over Alec to wedge himself against the back of the cosy couch, Magnus carefully adjusts the blanket to cover both of them and snuggles in, breathing in the familiar scent of the man and feeling at home in every sense of the word.

Arms tighten around him on instinct and Magnus can’t suppress his smile when it’s followed by a sleepy, “That’s better.”

“Much better,” Magnus whispers, trailing soft kisses down the side of Alec’s throat that can be reached without disturbing him....too much.

Appreciative noises fill his ears and embolden him to seek out more skin, until Alec is finally roused to wakefulness and greeting Magnus with kisses of his own.

“I must say, this is a very, very nice surprise,” Alec informs him once he has Magnus securely settled on top of him.

“I’m very, very glad to hear it,” Magnus replies, finally content but unwilling to let things he’s worried about slide just yet. “Alec, listen,” he begins earnestly, “you have to tell me when-” before Alec interrupts.

“When things get on top of me? I know, Magnus, and I’ll do better next time. Really,” he sighs, eyes closing briefly before they urge him to believe his words. “I shouldn’t have tried to hide my stress. I should’ve been honest with you about how I was feeling about tomorrow.” Tipping his head towards the cleared space, he adds, ”Preferably, before it got to whatever that was.”

Believing him, Magnus plants a lasting thank you kiss on his cheek. “May I humbly suggest that those unnecessary changes you made to your excellent speech be forgotten?”

“Sure thing,” Alec quips, eager to show Magnus just how much he’s been missed. “It’s like I’ve told you before, I can’t think straight when you’re not around.”

Magnus hums in agreement. “And as I’ve told you before, I can’t do anything without thinking of you.”

Alec’s eyes are dancing with mischief as he quickly flips them over to start working on opening Magnus’ buttons.

“Then it’s clearly in both of our best interests to stay as close to each other as possible.”

“Clearly,” Magnus agrees, following suit.

Then finally, their reunion begins in earnest.

[achillestiel]

so i decided to watch After (no, i don’t know why either - i am the chaos). i have some thoughts ( @poetcastiel please don’t judge me too harshly for watching this)

only on the title credits and i already hate it just by knowing it’s based off bad fanfiction

tessa looks like the most generic white girl

of course she has an infinity symbol necklace

they dragged Selma Blair into this? Why Selma?

five minutes in and none of the actors look like they want to be there/learned their lines thirty seconds before filming

oh you know her roommate is a ‘bad girl’ because she has a nose piercing

OH THAT’S HER BOYFRIEND?!? i thought it was her brother. they have zero chemistry.

even the roommate thought he was her brother. i’m dying

“who brings books to college?” “me, i guess” because no one in history has ever bought books to college?

oh god they’re going to make her ‘bookish’ aren’t they

i bet her favourite author is jane austen

why is everyone so awkward???

oh hi discount Harry Styles

seriously Tessa has the personality of a sponge. there’s a dude in your room, on your bed and you’re just deadpan? 

oh he’s so brooding and deep because he read The Great Gatsby (and didn’t actually understand the ending by the sounds of it)

also this is the fakest British accent i’ve ever heard

even though the actor is english

i’m so bored

they have zero chemistry 

and the main actress has one facial expression

why is there a 40 year old dude at a college party?

why does no one in this film have more than one facial expression?

“have you been drinking?” ok dad

chill noah, she’s in some random living room wearing a cocktail dress not licking tequila off some random himbo’s abs.

oh holy fuck she has an infinity symbol necklace and bracelet? we get it, ya basic

god the dialogue is so bad

so bad

also did no one tell these actors about inflections? it’s so monotonous

 HOW HAS THIS ONLY BEEN TWENTY MINUTES?!?!

please don’t quote Bronte 

please stop

his accent still sounds fake

i don’t remember it being this bad in Half Blood Prince

why is he just randomly sat on a roof?

“Oh shit, I’ll look super brooding sitting on the roof.”

Tessa just left his room.

how did he get out there??

does noah and her mom just sit and bitch about her? get a hobby. knitting is cool, go knit something

dudes, chill out. she’s the least interesting person in the world. nothing is going to happen

seriously why does her boyfriend keep sounding like her father?? you’re in high school noah. you’re a child. you don’t know shit.

oh god please stop talking about jane austen. 

Discount Harry Styles is a twat

why is it that every female lead in YA novels loves P&P? it’s a great book but come on. please read another book. please. i am begging you. 

also called it on her loving jane austen. they always do.

of course his father is the chancellor 

Discount Harry Styles is just a twat to annoy daddy?

ugh i really don’t care

why am i watching this?

netlfix is going to recommend so much shit now

i refuse to watch The Kissing Booth

HOW IS SOMEONE RELATED TO RALPH AND JOSEPH FIENNES SUCH A BAD ACTOR?!?!?

holy fuck it’s only been thirty minutes

how is there another hour of this?

DHS (i’m not writing Discount Harry Styles every time) makes zero sense

this script makes zero sense

me watching this makes zero sense

how did this book get published?

TESSA WHY ARE YOU GETTING IN A CAR WITH THIS RANDOM GUY YOU’VE ONLY JUST MET?

that’s a nice car though

oh they're in the woods

is he going to kill her and dump her body there?

that would finally make this film interesting

why would you get out the car Tessa?!?!

have you not watched/read/listened to ANY true crime media??? HAVE YOU NEVER WATCHED THE NEWS??

oh a lake

a perfect place to dump a body

i skipped the entire lake scene because they have zero chemistry and it was boring

also can we talk about how STUPID the name Hardin is??? I’ve lived in the UK for 28 years and NEVER met someone called Hardin. She could have chosen Henry or Harper or Harrison or Harvey. Hugo??? NO. She chose Hardin. who the fuck names their kid Hardin??

oh shit I bet the name Hardin became popular after this fucking book was published

how did it get published?

“I’m full of surprises” not liking ketchup doesn’t make you mysterious Tessa. 

they definitely spat on her burger when she sent it back

she could have asked him any question and she chose to ask him about his books???

i would have asked him why he sounds like a serial killers and dresses like an emo Edward Cullen

oh my god. why is every character insufferable???

oh MY GOD I just can’t with DHS. I don’t know if it’s bad acting or bad writing but he SUCKS. I’d say his mood swings are worse than mine during my time of the month but his voice NEVER changes so you have no idea what his mood is

that eyeliner scene was completely pointless

this film would be twenty minutes long if they took out all the pointless scenes

oh look its her brother/boyfriend/father

cue random woods party

DHS we GET it. you’re so brooding. just pull down your hood and stop sulking around.

ugh push him in the pool

someone push someone in the fucking pool

oh and now they’re having sex?

Tessa your boyfriend is literally asleep in your bed

how can anyone root for these two???

jesus fucking christ noah. dump her

how did DHS get there so quickly to appear broodingly?? she was on a fucking bike. did he just do a little brooding jog after her and hide behind a tree until the most dramatic time???

HER BOYFRIEND JUST DUMPED HER/DROVE OFF AND SHE STILL HAS THE SAME FACIAL EXPRESSION SHE’S HAD FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING FILM

i googled it. the actress has taken acting lessons but you wouldn’t know it from this film

this film is making me bitchy

and giving me a stress headache

girl when i broke up with my boyfriend i cried in my room for four days, got day drunk and blogged. you look like you’re asleep

can her roommate and her girlfriend Pia Mia smother her with a pillow so this film would END??

also the editing is so choppy. one second she’s in a bathroom and the next she’s walking down a random street.

did a pigeon edit this film???

did she just waltz into DHS’ house 

someone please fall off

and they’re on the roof again

why are they so obsessed with roofs?

it’s the only way to make this film interesting

no one fell off the roof

and now he’s reading to her

i’m so bored

wait. she’s an econ major but randomly taking astronomy and english lit?? I’ve seen her go to one econ class and that was three hours ago (probably only 30 minutes but this film feels longer than LotR) i don’t understand the American college system

oh OF COURSE DHS is writing in a journal. did the author just throw darts at a list of cliches and run with it??

and they’re having sex again

Oh hi Selma Blair

slap some sense into your daughter. 

oh jesus fuck i don’t care about this argument at all

it’s literally just “No dad, that’s your dream” trope with vaginas

and now they’re squatting in some random professor’s apartment?

oh god i’m skipping this pointless montage 

and now we’re at a random party again

oh it’s a wedding

THEY DRAGGED BOTH SLEMA BLAIR AND PETER GALLAGHER INTO THIS

Peter you were on The O.C. You are better than this

why does DHS always look like he’s in pain?

“Just have fun” “I can’t” “Why?” because he must act brooding at every possible moment Tessa. God, just let him be a moody bitch

oh another pool.

guys you’re at a wedding. just stop being horny for five minutes

and now they’re in a bathtub

why is every conversation in this film so awkward???

who wrote this script?

even their fights are boring

every single one of his friends are jerks

i still don’t care about a single character

IT WAS ALL A DARE

She's All That did this back in the 90's and it was a lot better. In fact it was (and still is) a classic.

it’s taken an hour and twenty-nine minutes for Tessa so show a single emotion

and now they’re fighting in the rain

because of course

i’m bored and want sleep

i’m just skipping to the end

oh they get back together

i don’t care

why was this book published

why was this film made??

i’m not watching the sequel

this whole thing was a waste of my life

no wonder Real Harry Styles blocked the author on Twitter

[ash-etherwood]

Top 5: writing memories, songs, characters that are not blank rune, runes, food

♡

Linda I love you but are you trying to kill me … that’s so many Top 5’s! But alright, I’ll do my best! (Answers will probably switch between German and English RIP to every non-German-speaker who follows me and wants to read this for some reason I swear I’m normal)

WRITING MEMORIES

5.) The entire time I spent finishing my first (second?) longer writing project It was the year 2012 and it was a cyberpunk story about my friends’ and my edgy self inserts riding dinosaurs, fighting aliens and being badass. The plot twist in the end was that my character was secretly evil and wanted to kill everyone. (Things to show your therapist) The final boss fight made zero sense and also everything was incredibly weird and stupid. But sometimes I still think about those times when I sat in my grandma’s living room at night, eating chips and listening to Vocaloid covers while thinking this story was the coolest shit ever. Truly simpler times.

4.) Researching something about universities in Texas for OvF on a rainy Saturday afternoon I have no idea why this memory is still sticking with me to this day (I think it was around 2016 or something?), but I remember that it was just a really nice day and I felt really at peace at that moment?

3.) The entire writing process of Bathroom Blues It was such a spontaneous project and I still have no idea how I managed to power though it in just a little under two months! Also it was just incredibly fun seeing you getting excited over new drafts and I loved coming up with new plot points and Halloween costumes for everyone with you. :-D Truly a summer worth remembering.

2.) FINALLY uploading the prologue and intro chapter of WWBL Not really a writing memory, but that moment was … so sexy and magical. Seriously, you have no idea how long I had been waiting to finally start that story, waiting for the Steckbriefe to roll in and see people react to the prologue and generally the idea … I even made one of those countdown graphic thingies for the designated upload date! 8D At that point I had planned that story for about six months and just … yeah, that felt powerful to me.

1.) Writing the prologue for WWBL When I first started the draft for that prologue I was sitting at the window in my favourite hotel in Winterberg, Sauerland, wore my dark green flannel, had the window wide open breathing in the cool mountain air and allowed myself to listen to my WWBL playlist for the very first time. God, that felt so amazing. I even have a photo of it (which somehow makes it look like I have the biggest football shoulders in the universe) my sister took that night. God I miss Sauerland. )’:

- - - - -

SONGS

My apologies to every favourite song of mine that I forgot about, I have a whole playlist of them, but I think these are some of my oldest faves … (Honorable mentions for Don’t Mess With Me and Not That Big by Temposhark, Goodbye by Apparat, Me And The Devil by Soap&Skin, Heart Heart Head by Meg Myers, Pain and Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, Beautiful Crime by Tamer, Gravity Of Love by Enigma, In Flames by Digital Daggers [thanks Phi u_u] and Murder Cries by Snow Ghosts AHHH FUCK IT I could’ve just made a playlist,,,)

5.) Vater Unser by E Nomine Starting off with some weird shit, won’t we? I’ve been in love with this song since fifth or sixth grade, when I was just starting to develop an actual music taste and although I have many favourite songs by E Nomine, this one has to be my absolute fave. Every time I can relate it to a character it makes me love said character even more. (Also I think about it every time my mom forces me to go to church for Christmas so … yay? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even be able to remember the Vater Unser if it wasn’t for this song. 8D)

4.) Wires by The Neighbourhood I think this is the newest all-time fave on this list, I found it in … 2015? Thank you, Youtube AMVs. Yeah man, this one is just … on so many playlists it’s not even funny anymore.

3.) Heathens by Twenty One Pilots An edgelord classic but like … it’s on EVERY playlist of mine. Every single one. It’s just so good. The first time I heard it was on the radio tho, when I was having breakfast with Jessie and I forced her to shazam it because it immediately stuck with me,,,

2.) Imaginary by Evanescence My first Evanescence song ever and the first step towards becoming who I am today I think. This song has like … such a big history for me, man. It single-handedly turned me goth in 2008 and I have never really thanked it for that.

1.) Eternal by Evanescence Might be my favourite song of all time. The number of dramatic RP scenes I have written with this in the background … man. Oh, also this song is the reason for one of my oldest internet nicknames, ‘eternala’, which subsequently shortened into Etschuh and then Tschuh, my main nickname until 2017, when I came out as trans and finally found an actual name for myself I was comfortable with!

- - - - -

NON BLANK RUNE CHARACTERS

I know this was probably supposed to be about fandom characters but I can literally not come up with a single character right now that I love with a special burning passion and that is not my or one of my friends’ OCs so you’re getting OCs now. u_u And boy do I have a lot of those.

5.) Jackson Tracey from atroCITY (mine) This little piece of shit kept me company for a pretty long time and is still very close to my heart for some reason, although I haven’t drawn him or really thought about him in detail for a while now. My favourite thing is how I only realized what a horrible person he was after I stopped regularly working with him but honestly good for me. 8D His storyline and personality is kinda convoluted and tbh I’m not really sure how much of it is canon anyway (atrc was always a little weird about canon rip) but yeah. He’s an obsessive stalker piece of shit who pities himself way too much and he is also a semi-immortal demigod who likes knives. I hate him but he also helped me a lot with some gender and sexuality stuff so thanks I guess.

4.) Mayoko Imai from Century Riders DXPrototype (Maus’ and mine) Mayoko is a magical girl protagonist with a cool cyborg arm prosthetic and her main character trait was that she was basically a reverse weeaboo, a Japanese girl who was obsessed with American media, culture and comic book heroes! I actually love her concept a lot and she also had a pretty cool character arc in her story (which Maus and I wrote together and actually finished btw!), although it could use a lot more … polishing from today’s point of view. But I love her anyway. She always wanted to do the right thing and be a hero and got broken pretty cruelly and her ending is kinda bittersweet I guess? Ahh there’s just so much nuance to it … anyways, CR3 also stuck with me for a very long time and I enjoyed the time with her a lot. :3 (Her name had a cameo in Another Incident btw heehee)

3.) Tessa *insert extremely long chain of unnecessary first names here* von Lean from Nobody Is Perfect and Infernal Temptation (belongs to one of my old school friends) Tessa is just … a hand full. I love to hate her. She is badly written and developed and just OOZES mentally ill teenage girl’s idealized self-insert power fantasy, but she just … man, she was a big part of one of my most drama-filled high school friendships which I love looking back at so much. Tessa has fucked so many of my characters … good for her tbh! There are actually two versions of her, one is just a ‘normal’ teenage girl and one can shapeshift into a cheetah, but both of them are very close to my heart. I should really adopt and redesign her some day.

2.) Judy Khayat from Original vs. Final (mine) Look, I love all my OvF-characters and every single one of them is special to me in their own way, but Judy is just … the most complex of them all I think? Man, she went through so much … she is actually one of my oldest (semi)-active characters (I created her in 2009) and her latest version is from 2016 but I should really, REALLY revise her again tbh. She has a very complicated backstory that I didn’t handle as carefully as I should have, and anger issues and religious conflict and depression and PTSD and then Vance of all people becomes obsessed with her for no reason and decides to traumatize her even more … yeah. God I really love her but I seriously need to work on her. A LOT. I should also finally rename her tbh … let’s just see where she takes me next.

1.) Okami (I don’t even remember if she has a proper last name rn lol) from Split Realm (mine) Yeah, that bitch is just my favourite OC. She’s also very old, probably from around 2009, and initially was a magical girl with fire powers who I played in an RP with my friend Flauch but boy did she grow up! Holy fuck. Okami is a horrible person but I love her so much. She is so violent and full of anger and pain and sadness and treats everyone around her like shit and she is in love and she is a demon but also apparently the personification of the concept of Chaos but she just wants to be a teenager again and run away with the love of her life and ahhh it’s all so hopeless for her … also she turned out gnc af with time passing and pretty much went through a gender/sexuality crisis in real time with me, her creator, which is always fun. :^D I haven’t drawn her in a while tbh. Should really do that.

- - - - -

RUNES IN BLANK RUNE

I’m just gonna go with the arcs here, okay? Also this entire answer might look completely different if you asked me again tomorrow, you know how indecisive I am with Blank Rune shit ahha,,,

5.) Jera Look. I know I’m boring and stupid. But I just love Tave and Liam having their disgusting little foreshadowing talk, okay? I can read it over and over. I just love my horrible little shit crime boys. Also Rhy and Phillip are there. (’:

4.) Isa This one is here because it was the first arc I witnessed in real time which gives it a very special place in my heart and it also … hit pretty hard at the time. But having read Fehu it’s become even better now! It’s just such a wonderful, tragic romance between two horrible, ruthless boys and I … I’m not immune to Rhy, sadly. :-/ Just like Phillip.

3.) Wunjo We still haven’t seen everything that leads up to Wunjo yet, but we DO know more than we did initially (wow shocker) and it’s just always a fucking blast. Also, it has the first mention of Ash’s real name … the first Rhy POV (which what the fuck!! I always feel like we had one before but we didn’t!! Wild) and it has crazy blood-soaked murder Tave, my beloved. :///3

2.) Eiwaz You guys have heard me fanboy about Eiwaz so many times already. Eiwaz-OT3 (and Kain) my beloved!!! It’s just SUCH an amazing starting point and there are so, so many things that tie back to it and every time we find out about a new one my heart makes a little jump … und es beginnt von Neuem indeed.

1.) Gebo One of the most painful but also the most beautiful arcs yet in my opinion. It’s been hyped up for so long and boy did it deliver. God, my heart still hurts when I think about that last scene. Also all the dialogue … the golden lines we got … and it’s an arc without Rhy! Crazy!! :-D I just love the relationship between Ash, Astrid and Jakob so much. God fuck I want what they have. Just maybe without the murder suicide,,,

- - - - -

FOOD

5.) Diese Sonntagsbrötchen wo die Verpackung so plopp macht, wenn man die Folie abzieht Better than normale Brötchen for some reason. Most of the time. See 2.) Look man, I just really love a good breakfast …

4.) Chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese topping One of the first things from a certain baking book I tried when I was getting into baking back in 2019. God they are so tasty. I don’t make them often so I don’t get used to them too much and eating them still feels special but ahhhh I love them so much!

3.) Grünkohl mit Kartoffelbrei und Mettendchen One of my favourite things about autumn/winter and one of my biggest comfort foods. God I love this shit so much. I just put … mountains of Grünkohl and Kartoffelbrei on my plate every time and I will just warm it up for four days straight until there’s no more left. It turns me into a fucking caveman. I’m not even big on eating meat but … yeah. Everything is different when there’s Grünkohl.

2.) Normales Brötchen mit Butter und Scheibenkäse aber ich bin beim Frühstücksbuffet im Hotel Oddly specific but that’s just how it is. Sorry. Nichts geht über Brötchen mit Käse.

1.) Chilli-Knoblauch-Nudelauflauf My beloved. My comfort food. I eat it literally every second day. At least one hour in the kitchen every time. Fresh ingredients. My only vegetable intake. And I’ve been doing that for three years. I just love it so much, man. I cook it for everyone who visits me. Chilli-Knoblauch-Auflauf cured my depression.

[richincolor]

January's New Releases

2021 told 2020 to hold it's beer and what a month January has been! Publishing YA also came out swinging with a slew of new books (many already bestsellers) in what we hope will be another banner year for BIPOC stories. Click below to find books for your TBR list. 

Week of January 5th

The Life I’m In by Sharon G. Flake Scholastic Inc

My feet are heavy as stones when I walk up the block wondering why I can’t find my old self.

In The Skin I’m In, readers saw into the life of Maleeka Madison, a teen who suffered from the ridicule she received because of her dark skin color. For decades fans have wanted to know the fate of the bully who made Maleeka’s life miserable, Char.

Now in Sharon Flake’s latest and unflinching novel, The Life I’m In, we follow Charlese Jones, who, with her raw, blistering voice speaks the truths many girls face, offering insight to some of the causes and conditions that make a bully. Turned out of the only home she has known, Char boards a bus to nowhere where she is lured into the dangerous web of human trafficking. Much is revealed behind the complex system of men who take advantage of vulnerable teens in the underbelly of society. While Char might be frightened, she remains strong and determined to bring herself and her fellow victims out of the dark and back into the light, reminding us why compassion is a powerful cure to the ills of the world.

Sharon Flake’s bestselling, Coretta Scott King Award-winning novel The Skin I’m In was a game changer when it was first published more than twenty years ago. It redefined young adult literature by presenting characters, voices, and real-world experiences that had not been fully seen. Now Flake offers readers another timely and radical story of a girl on the brink and how her choices will lead her to either fall, or fly. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Happily Ever Afters by Elise Bryant Balzer + Bray

Sixteen-year-old Tessa Johnson has never felt like the protagonist in her own life. She’s rarely seen herself reflected in the pages of the romance novels she loves. The only place she’s a true leading lady is in her own writing—in the swoony love stories she shares only with Caroline, her best friend and #1 devoted reader.

When Tessa is accepted into the creative writing program of a prestigious art school, she’s excited to finally let her stories shine. But when she goes to her first workshop, the words are just…gone. Fortunately, Caroline has a solution: Tessa just needs to find some inspiration in a real-life love story of her own. And she’s ready with a list of romance novel-inspired steps to a happily ever after. Nico, the brooding artist who looks like he walked out of one of Tessa’s stories, is cast as the perfect Prince Charming.

But as Tessa checks each item off Caroline’s list, she gets further and further away from herself. She risks losing everything she cares about—including the surprising bond she develops with sweet Sam, who lives across the street. She’s well on her way to having her own real-life love story, but is it the one she wants, after all?

One of the Good Ones by Maika Moulite and Maritza Moulite Inkyard Press

ISN’T BEING HUMAN ENOUGH? When teen social activist and history buff Kezi Smith is killed under mysterious circumstances after attending a social justice rally, her devastated sister Happi and their family are left reeling in the aftermath. As Kezi becomes another immortalized victim in the fight against police brutality, Happi begins to question the idealized way her sister is remembered. Perfect. Angelic.

One of the good ones.

Even as the phrase rings wrong in her mind–why are only certain people deemed worthy to be missed?–Happi and her sister Genny embark on a journey to honor Kezi in their own way, using an heirloom copy of The Negro Motorist Green Book as their guide. But there’s a twist to Kezi’s story that no one could’ve ever expected–one that will change everything all over again.

Roman and Jewel by Dana L. Davis Inkyard Press

If Romeo and Juliet got the Hamilton treatment…who would play the leads? This vividly funny, honest, and charming romantic novel by Dana L. Davis is the story of a girl who thinks she has what it takes…and the world thinks so, too.

Jerzie Jhames will do anything to land the lead role in Broadway’s hottest new show, Roman and Jewel, a Romeo and Juliet inspired hip-hopera featuring a diverse cast and modern twists on the play. But her hopes are crushed when she learns mega-star Cinny won the lead…and Jerzie is her understudy.

Falling for male lead Zeppelin Reid is a terrible idea–especially once Jerzie learns Cinny wants him for herself. Star-crossed love always ends badly. But when a video of Jerzie and Zepp practicing goes viral and the entire world weighs in on who should play Jewel, Jerzie learns that while the price of fame is high, friendship, family, and love are priceless.

The Awakening of Malcom X by Ilyasah Shabazz & Tiffany D. Jackson Farrar, Straus and Giroux (Byr)

In Charlestown Prison, Malcolm Little struggles with the weight of his past. Plagued by nightmares, Malcolm drifts through days unsure of his future. Slowly, he befriends other prisoners and writes to his family. He reads all the books in the prison library, joins the debate team and the Nation of Islam. Malcolm grapples with race, politics, religion, and justice in the 1940s. And as his time in jail comes to an end, he begins to awaken — emerging from prison more than just Malcolm Little: Now, he is Malcolm X.

Here is an intimate look at Malcolm X’s young adult years. While this book chronologically follows X: A Novel, it can be read as a stand-alone historical novel that invites larger discussions on black power, prison reform, and civil rights.

When You Look Like Us by Pamela N. Harris HarperCollins

When you look like us—brown skin, brown eyes, black braids or fades—people think you’re trouble. No one looks twice at a missing black girl from the projects because she must’ve brought whatever happened to her upon herself. I, Jay Murphy, can admit that, for a minute, I thought my sister, Nicole, got too caught up with her boyfriend—a drug dealer—and his friends.

But she’s been gone too long now.

If I hadn’t hung up on her that night, she’d be spending time with our grandma. If I was a better brother, she’d be finishing senior year instead of being another name on a missing persons list. It’s time to step up and do what the Newport News police department won’t.

Week of January 12th

Chlorine Sky by Mahogany L. Browne Crown Books for Young Readers

She looks me hard in my eyes & my knees lock into tree trunks My eyes don’t dance like my heartbeat racing They stare straight back hot daggers. I remember things will never be the same. I remember things.

With gritty and heartbreaking honesty, Mahogany L. Browne delivers a novel-in-verse about broken promises, fast rumors, and when growing up means growing apart from your best friend.

The Meet-Cute Project by Rhiannon Richardson Simon & Schuster

Mia’s friends love rom-coms. Mia hates them. They’re silly, contrived, and not at all realistic. Besides, there are more important things to worry about—like how to handle living with her bridezilla sister, Sam, who’s never appreciated Mia, and surviving junior year juggling every school club offered and acing all of her classes.

So when Mia is tasked with finding a date to her sister’s wedding, her options are practically nonexistent.

Mia’s friends, however, have an idea. It’s a little crazy, a little out there, and a lot inspired by the movies they love that Mia begrudgingly watches too.

Mia just needs a meet-cute.

Concrete Rose (The Hate U Give, #0) by Angie Thomas Balzer + Bray

If there’s one thing seventeen-year-old Maverick Carter knows, it’s that a real man takes care of his family. As the son of a former gang legend, Mav does that the only way he knows how: dealing for the King Lords. With this money he can help his mom, who works two jobs while his dad’s in prison.

Life’s not perfect, but with a fly girlfriend and a cousin who always has his back, Mav’s got everything under control.

Until, that is, Maverick finds out he’s a father.

Suddenly he has a baby, Seven, who depends on him for everything. But it’s not so easy to sling dope, finish school, and raise a child. So when he’s offered the chance to go straight, he takes it. In a world where he’s expected to amount to nothing, maybe Mav can prove he’s different.

When King Lord blood runs through your veins, though, you can’t just walk away. Loyalty, revenge, and responsibility threaten to tear Mav apart, especially after the brutal murder of a loved one. He’ll have to figure out for himself what it really means to be a man.

Angel of Greenwood by Randi Pink Feiwel and Friends

Seventeen-year-old Isaiah Wilson is, on the surface, a town troublemaker, but is hiding that he is an avid reader and secret poet, never leaving home without his journal. A passionate follower of WEB. Du Bois, he believes that black people should rise up to claim their place as equals.

Sixteen-year-old Angel Hill is a loner, mostly disregarded by her peers as a goody-goody. Her father is dying, and her family’s financial situation is in turmoil. Also, as a loyal follower of Booker T. Washington, she believes, through education and tolerance, that black people should rise slowly and without forced conflict.

Though they’ve attended the same schools, Isaiah never noticed Angel as anything but a dorky, Bible toting church girl. Then their English teacher offers them a job on her mobile library, a three-wheel, two-seater bike. Angel can’t turn down the money and Isaiah is soon eager to be in such close quarters with Angel every afternoon.

But life changes on May 31, 1921 when a vicious white mob storms the community of Greenwood, leaving the town destroyed and thousands of residents displaced. Only then, Isaiah, Angel, and their peers realize who their real enemies are.

Week of January 19th

Thirty Talks Weird Love by Alessandra Narváez Varela Cinco Puntos Press

Out of nowhere, a lady comes up to Anamaría and says she’s her, from the future. But Anamaría’s thirteen, she knows better than to talk to some weirdo stranger. Girls need to be careful, especially in Ciudad Juárez, Mexico—it’s the 90’s and fear is overtaking her beloved city as cases of kidnapped girls and women become alarmingly common. This thirty-year-old “future” lady doesn’t seem to be dangerous but she won’t stop bothering her, switching between cheesy Hallmark advice about being kind to yourself, and some mysterious talk about saving a girl.

Anamaría definitely doesn’t need any saving, she’s doing just fine. She works hard at her strict, grade-obsessed middle school—so hard that she hardly gets any sleep; so hard that the stress makes her snap not just at mean girls but even her own (few) friends; so hard that when she does sleep she dreams about dying—but she just wants to do the best she can so she can grow up to be successful. Maybe Thirty’s right, maybe she’s not supposed to be so exhausted with her life, but how can she ask for help when her city is mourning the much bigger tragedy of its stolen girls?

This thought-provoking, moving verse novel will lead adult and young adult readers alike to vital discussions on important topics—like dealing with depression and how to recognize this in yourself and others—through the accessible voice of a thirteen-year-old girl.

Your Corner Dark by Desmond Hall Atheneum/Dlouhy

Things can change in a second:

The second Frankie Green gets that scholarship letter, he has his ticket out of Jamaica.

The second his longtime crush, Leah, asks him on a date, he’s in trouble.

The second his father gets shot, suddenly nothing else matters.

And the second Frankie joins his uncle’s gang in exchange for paying for his father’s medical bills, there’s no going back…or is there?

As Frankie does things he never thought he’d be capable of, he’s forced to confront the truth of the family and future he was born into—and the ones he wants to build for himself.

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo Dutton Books for Young Readers

“That book. It was about two women, and they fell in love with each other.” And then Lily asked the question that had taken root in her, that was even now unfurling its leaves and demanding to be shown the sun: “Have you ever heard of such a thing?”

Seventeen-year-old Lily Hu can’t remember exactly when the question took root, but the answer was in full bloom the moment she and Kathleen Miller walked under the flashing neon sign of a lesbian bar called the Telegraph Club.

America in 1954 is not a safe place for two girls to fall in love, especially not in Chinatown. Red-Scare paranoia threatens everyone, including Chinese Americans like Lily. With deportation looming over her father—despite his hard-won citizenship—Lily and Kath risk everything to let their love see the light of day.

If I Tell You the Truth by Jasmin Kaur HarperCollins

Told in prose, poetry, and illustration, this heartrending story weaves Kiran’s and Sahaara’s timelines together, showing a teenage Kiran and, later, her high school–aged daughter, Sahaara.

Kiran is a young Punjabi Sikh woman who becomes pregnant after being sexually assaulted by her fiancé’s brother. When her fiancé and family don’t believe her, she flees her home in India to Canada, where she plans to raise the child as a single mother. For Kiran, living undocumented means constant anxiety over finances, work, safety, and whether she’ll be deported back to the dangers that await her in Punjab.

Eighteen years later, Kiran’s daughter, Sahaara, is desperate to help her mother, who has been arrested and is facing deportation. In the aftermath, Kiran reveals the truth about Sahaara’s conception. Horrified, Sahaara encourages Kiran to speak out against the man who raped her—who’s now a popular political figure in Punjab. Sahaara must find the best way to support her mother while also dealing with the revelation about her parents.

We Free the Stars (Sands of Arawiya #2) by Hafsah Faizal Farrar, Straus and Giroux

The battle on Sharr is over. The dark forest has fallen. Altair may be captive, but Zafira, Nasir, and Kifah are bound for Sultan’s Keep, determined to finish the plan he set in motion: restoring the hearts of the Sisters of Old to the minarets of each caliphate, and finally returning magic to all of Arawiya. But they are low on resources and allies alike, and the kingdom teems with fear of the Lion of the Night’s return.

As the zumra plots to overthrow the kingdom’s darkest threat, Nasir fights to command the magic in his blood. He must learn to hone his power into a weapon, to wield not only against the Lion but against his father, trapped under the Lion’s control. Zafira battles a very different darkness festering in her through her bond with the Jawarat—a darkness that hums with voices, pushing her to the brink of her sanity and to the edge of a chaos she dare not unleash. In spite of the darkness enclosing ever faster, Nasir and Zafira find themselves falling into a love they can’t stand to lose…but time is running out to achieve their ends, and if order is to be restored, drastic sacrifices will have to be made.

Lush and striking, hopeful and devastating, We Free the Stars is the masterful conclusion to the Sands of Arawiya duology by New York Times–bestselling author Hafsah Faizal.

Week of January 26th

Written in Starlight (Woven in Moonlight #2) by Isabel Ibañez Page Street Kids

If the jungle wants you, it will have you…

Catalina Quiroga is a Condesa without a country. She’s lost the Inkasisa throne, the loyalty of her people, and her best friend. Banished to the perilous Yanu Jungle, Catalina knows her chances of survival are slim, but that won’t stop her from trying to escape. It’s her duty to reclaim the throne.

When Manuel, the son of her former general, rescues Catalina from a jaguar, a plan forms. Deep in the jungle, the city of gold is hidden, home to the fierce Illari people, who she could strike an alliance with.

But the elusive Illari are fighting a battle of their own—a mysterious blight is corrupting the jungle, laying waste to everything they hold dear. As a seer, Catalina should be able to help, but her ability to read the future in the stars is as feeble as her survival instincts. While searching for the Illari, Catalina must reckon with her duty and her heart to find her true calling, which could be the key to stopping the corruption before it destroys the jungle completely.

The Knockout by Sajni Patel Flux

If seventeen-year-old Kareena Thakkar is going to alienate herself from the entire Indian community, she might as well do it gloriously. She’s landed the chance of a lifetime, an invitation to the US Muay Thai Open, which could lead to a spot on the first-ever Olympic team. If only her sport wasn’t seen as something too rough for girls, something she’s afraid to share with anyone outside of her family. Despite pleasing her parents, exceling at school, and making plans to get her family out of debt, Kareena’s never felt quite Indian enough, and her training is only making it worse.

Which is inconvenient, since she’s starting to fall for Amit Patel, who just might be the world’s most perfect Indian. Admitting her feelings for Amit will cost Kareena more than just her pride–she’ll have to face his parents’ disapproval, battle her own insecurities, and remain focused for the big fight. Kareena’s bid for the Olympics could very well make history–if she has the courage to go for it.

Wings of Ebony (Wings of Ebony #1) by J. Elle Denene Millner Books/Simon Schuster Books for Young Readers

“Make a way out of no way” is just the way of life for Rue. But when her mother is shot dead on her doorstep, life for her and her younger sister changes forever. Rue’s taken from her neighborhood by the father she never knew, forced to leave her little sister behind, and whisked away to Ghizon—a hidden island of magic wielders.

Rue is the only half-god, half-human there, where leaders protect their magical powers at all costs and thrive on human suffering. Miserable and desperate to see her sister on the anniversary of their mother’s death, Rue breaks Ghizon’s sacred Do Not Leave Law and returns to Houston, only to discover that Black kids are being forced into crime and violence. And her sister, Tasha, is in danger of falling sway to the very forces that claimed their mother’s life.

Worse still, evidence mounts that the evil plaguing East Row is the same one that lurks in Ghizon—an evil that will stop at nothing until it has stolen everything from her and everyone she loves. Rue must embrace her true identity and wield the full magnitude of her ancestors’ power to save her neighborhood before the gods burn it to the ground.

[thetypedwriter]

Chain of Gold Book Review

Chain of Gold Book Review by Cassandra Clare 

I know what you’re thinking.

Oh. My. God. Another one?

How can she possibly be cranking out these 5,000 long page novels year after year after year?

I think the exact same thing and yet….

I still read them. Every single one. Well, except for some of the companions, guides, and novellas that accompany them because come on nobody has that much free time. And we don’t talk about the show Shadowhunters that Freeform monstrously created. Ever.

Except for Cassandra Clare maybe, since, you know, she wrote them. Or co-wrote them. Or kinda wrote them. Whatever, the true authorship isn’t important here.

What is important, however, is that there is a new Shadowhunter series on the horizon and THAT IT IS NOT TY AND KIT. I REPEAT. This new massive compendium is not the next installment of the Dark Artifices. Instead, it is an entirely new-but-not-new-Cassandra-Clare style book for the newly developed The Last Hours series in which no one asked for nor expected.

You might be asking yourself: do I need to have read the other 76 books in order to understand this one? Cassandra Clare and others will have you believe no. They’ll say, “Nahhhh, don’t stress, it’s a new cast of characters!”

They are dead wrong.

I mean, I guess you plausibly could but you would be horribly confused and befuddled for the entire sequence. I was largely confused and befuddled for the entire sequence and I have read most of the other 76 books-which, is a joke, of course, except not really, since the current canon world spans 14 main books across multiple timelines (all of which are the opposite of miniature by the way) and at least five companion novels and counting that are more important than they let on.

It is extremely, extremely daunting for new readers.

That being said, as we are all stuck at home quarantined due to coronavirus, you probably have a lot of time on you. Just gonna say that Amazon and Barnes & Noble deliver, folks, jump on it. E-books also exist if you do not have room to house these monstrosities, a problem I do not blame you for.

Now that all of that is out of the way, what is this new book about and how did I feel about it?

Well. To start, this new series takes place in the late 19th century in London, a setting we’ve seen before in The Infernal Devices, the first of the canon spinoff series.

This new series mainly tells the story of the children from the first spinoff, with highlights on Tessa, Will, and Jem. As most of Clare’s books, this one also has alternating POV’s. This particular installment switches mainly between Cordelia Carstairs, James Herondale and Lucie Herondale with little snatches of others in between.

To make this overly large series very, very simplified and contained, here is my plot summary:

Girl moves to London. Girl is in love with her best friend’s brother (a little cliche, but okay, Clare). Brother is a special little nugget that can see the demon world because his mother is a warlock (cue Infernal Devices here). His sister, the other special nugget and said best friend from above, can talk to ghosts, but not only that, she can also command them. The applause sound goes here. 

There are demon uprisings. Some shadowhunters get poisoned while everyone runs around incompetently trying to find a cure, but don’t worry it’s none of the main characters so you don’t really care. The brother special nugget from above is also pretend in love with a girl with a very dark home life that reeks of manipulation (cough cough obviously the bracelet is bewitched in some way) and is somehow enchanting him to do her bidding, but is really in love with the new girl that’s in love with him. Gasp. 

Special nugget also has a best friend that is most likely a bisexual alcoholic and the girl who moved to London has a drunkard father who’s currently in prison and a brother who was previously a bully becasue he was gay (amongst other reasons) and is not as much of an asshole, but is still an asshole. Unrequited love is also strewn about handomsely.

Yup. That about sums it up.

If you’re confused, then that’s okay, as the book is confusing.

Plot aside, this book was enjoyable to me for one main reason: it’s a shadowhunter book. Despite all the jokes I’m making on its behalf, I do love the series. It’s expansive and interesting and angsty and romantic and most of the characters and action and plot twists are really incredibly good.

Truly.

However, this book, for me personally, was more on the burdensome side of the Sahdowhunter lore rather than the uplifting one that added to it, even if I did buy it the first day it came out.

Clare throws so many characters at you in this first installment that it’s actually impossible to keep track, primarily because no one other than the true main characters are ever clearly defined or characterized or shown significance in any way and also because THEY ARE ALL DAMN RELATED IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER AND BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME FUCKING NAMES.

I’m not even kidding. How Clare got to her original series and The Dark Artifices series without having incest galore is a miracle to me. The same people in the same families fall in love every damn time that at this point they all have to be interconnected Slytherin pure-blood style.

We didn’t need a sickly sweet epilogue of Tessa and Will’s wedding day at the end of the book. We needed a well drawn out and thoughtfully labeled shadowhunter family tree in full color because this shit was so confusing.

This was a big turn-off for me. It was almost as if Clare was suffering under the expansiveness of the world she had built, which is why the book was over 600 pages when it really could have easily been half. The last 90 pages read as an annoying epilogue that should have been twenty at most but just kept going and going and going like a Geico commercial.

She has so many characters with so many names and so many little tidbits about them that it was actually alarming. I get it if Clare knows who everyone is, that’s great. She’s the author. The point is, however, is not so that the author understands, but the readers do too. I can say with 100% certainty that no one understood who everyone was unless they study the main series every night before they go to bed, which is largely impossible.

In addition, this particular story is just...fine. It’s fine. It’s not the best of Clare’s work (Dark Artifices, baby!) or the worst (I don’t know...maybe Red Scrolls of Magic) but it gets the job done. I don't hate the characters like I have some others of Clare’s creations, but I don’t love them either. 

James seems to be like every other male character that Clare has ever created, Cordelia seems...okay. Lucie is rather annoying, as is Grace and her mother Tatiana, who are so evil it’s stupid. Thomas and Christopher don’t matter in the slightest and neither do the parents, which is a shame considering they were the main cast in Infernal Devices. Jesse was...alright.

 Honestly, the best characters in my opinion were Matthew Fairchild and Anna Lightwood. I would have loved a saucy, dramatic Oscar Wilde inspired entourage where they were painting the town red and smashing stereotypes all over the place.

But no. We get the main love story of James and Cordelia, the new girl and the best friend’s brother. Which has never been done of course. Super unique idea.

Cue eye roll.

In the end, odds are, if you are going to read Chain of Gold, you were going to read it to begin with because you’re a Shadowhunter fan like me and you’ll gobble up anything Cassandra Clare throws at you, whether good or bad. If you’re interested in picking up a book, this is not the book to start.

 If you want a super long, mostly tantalizing read that will take over your life for the next few months then I recommend starting with the OG City of Bones and painstakingly making your way from there. You’ll most likely not regret it, even if your bank account and your heart will be crying by the end.

Recommendation: Shadowhunter fans unite! Chain of Gold is out and ready to be devoured! Everyone else, either stand back or pick up a book and get reading because this book is on a train that will keep chugging and chugging forever.

Score: 6.5/10

[ts1989fanatic]

TS7 is finally here!

If you’re like me or any of the millions of Swifties out there, the arrival of this next era is just as exciting as a brand-new bookshelf full of reads you get to experience for the first time.

After listening to the album on repeat all weekend, I decided to celebrate Lover with a book roundup inspired by each of the songs (since it’s the only thing I’ll be listening to for the foreseeable future, don’t @ me.).

ts1989fanatic an interesting perspective well written obviously a swiftie.

1. “I Forgot That You Existed” (Best Friends Forever, by Jennifer Weiner)

You heard it from Taylor first: indifference is the new vengeance. This solid album-opener is upbeat and poppy, a nice contrast with the lyrics about the (final?) end of a broken relationship, friendship (or feud), when you actually forget that the person you once had so much ire for still lives. She transitions from “Your name on my lips, tongue-tied/Free rent, living in my mind” to “forgot that you existed/and I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t” with ease. But of course, insisting that you forget someone existed while singing about them would introduce interesting tension into any relationship. It reminded me of Jennifer Weiner’s Best Friends Forever, about what happens when a former friend shows up on your doorstep in a crisis, insisting you’re the only one who can help them out of a tight spot (when you’d rather do anything but).

2. “Cruel Summer” (Do You Want to Start a Scandal, by Tessa Dare)

Lyrically and sonically, this is one of my favorites on the entire album (it’s so good it should have been a single!) It’s got an Out of the Woods meets Getaway Car vibe in terms of the melody. Wistful, a bit haunting, but also a total bop. “So cut the headlights, summer’s a knife/I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone” describes a low point in Swift’s life (Summer 2016, ugh), juxtaposed with the high of discovering new love. There are so many books I could have picked for this, but “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you” reminded me of the Regency romance trope where the heroine has a secret, or finds herself in a situation where her reputation is at stake, but is still tempted by a handsome rogue who might lead her into temptation and true love. (Sound a bit familiar?) Do You Want to Start a Scandal by Tessa Dare feels like the perfect accompaniment to this song about a woman who must prove her innocence in the face of a sullied reputation or be forced to marry a man she doesn’t think she could ever love.

3. “Lover” (Roomies, by Christina Lauren)

The title track (and the one I’ve been singing in the shower for days) is a swoony daydream of a couple in complete harmony, as Swift spins wedding vow-like lyrics such as “With every guitar string scar on my hand/I take this magnetic force of a man to be my…lover/My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue/all’s well that end’s well to end up with you/swear to be overdramatic and true/to my…lover.” But Swift is all about balance in her songs, so imagery of keeping up the Christmas lights in “our place” is juxtaposed with suspicion that “everyone who sees you wants you.” This track reminded me of Roomies by Christina Lauren, with its musician main character and the trope of having to share a space while inevitably falling in love.

4. “The Man” (The Whisper Network, by Chandler Baker)

The double-standards between men and women have been explored in songs and novels since both art forms existed. Swift has already confronted the media’s perception of her as a victim, as a girl who goes on too many dates but can’t make them stay, etc. But in “The Man”, she more directly confronts how different she’d be treated if she were the opposite gender. How could I not think of the new thriller The Whisper Network, about a group of women who come forward about their male boss’ behavior of harassment in the workplace. Instead of continuing to suffer in silence, they tell the truth, resulting in an explosive conflict. I sort of saw the ending coming, but was very glad I was right.

5. “The Archer” (Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen)

Another slower, lyric-driven track on the album with gut-punching truths about love, friendship, and holding on to the one who has your heart. “The Archer” is associated with being a Sagittarius (which Swift is), but also her dynamic with the world. “Who could ever leave me, darling?/But who could stay?” is self-aware in a new way for Swift, as is “I never grew up, it’s getting so old” or “I see right through me.” This is one of my favorite tracks on the album, as Swift confronts her cultivated image as both archer and prey of fame and of love. Listening to the rising energy of the track as it builds to a anti-fairy-tale crescendo plus Swift’s lyrics made me think of Pride and Prejudice: Elizabeth Bennet is forced to acknowledge how her own prejudices have made it difficult for others to love her, but that she is deserving of an imperfect love. (And how could “All of my enemies started out friends” not remind you of awful Mr. Wickham?)

6. “I Think He Knows” (The Duke and I, by Julia Quinn)

After a slower song, this heats things up a bit, describing the early sizzle of a relationship before it even starts. For an entire album that sings the praises of a man, I liked the moment in the pre-chorus where she says “He’s so obsessed with me, and boy, I understand.” Own your worth, girl! The bridge was my favorite part of this song (as it often is with Swift; girl knows how to bridge) as it played with tempo and rhyme. “Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh/We can follow the sparks, I’ll drive.” Swift explores the tension of the moment between seeing someone and initiating contact—songs like these always sting with a bit of danger, too, because the man knows she wants him but neither of them say anything in public about it. She’s whispering in the dark, which gives me serious secret romance vibes. The Duke and I by Julia Quinn is about Simon, who is planning to propose to his BFF’s sister even though he doesn’t actually love her. It’s an arrangement that suits them both, but before they both know it, Daphne is giving Simon serious “I Think he Knows” vibes.

7. “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” (The Cheerleaders, by Kara Thomas)

If you don’t get the oft-spoken adage that “politics is like high-school,” this song takes the metaphor to the next level. Subtly political but 100% heartbreaking, Swift reimagines the political sphere (and her role in it) as a high school romance, moving from “American glory, faded before me,” painting the democratic 2016 election loss as a ripped-up prom dress (from Miss Americana, who assumed she would win.) Oozing drama and storytelling the way only Swift can, I love the moody elements of the brokenhearted girl contrasted with the new riff on a cheerleading chant (Go Fight Win!). This song is about mourning loss and then finding the strength to say “I know we’re going to win,” but it’s haunting melody and lyrics led me to pick a Cheerleader-inspired thriller. The Cheerleaders is about a string of cheerleaders murdered in a small town five years ago… and just when everyone thinks it’s time to move on, one girl becomes the center of a mystery that never truly died.

8. “Paper Rings” (The Royal We, by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan)

I’m on my fourth listen of the album and this might be my favorite track on it (though that changes minute by minute, with an album as dynamic as this—just to further accentuate the point, by the time of posting this piece, my new favorite might be I Think He Knows?). It’s a totally retro, ’60s style song—a totally fresh sound for Swift, and one that fits perfectly with her new aesthetic. (Makes me wonder why this wasn’t one of the singles released before the record.) It is a gold-mine for Swiftian lyricism, with so many gems I can’t possibly call them all out, and it moves so fast (like a good read) that you both want to cascade over them and pause to hear each line at least 5x before it passes you by. It’s an unabashed love song, relishing in the joy of knowing you’re with the one you love so much that “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings”. The line that stuck out the most was “I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this,” which made me think of when Bex Porter goes to Oxford in The Royal We and, completely by accident, falls in love with the heir to the throne.

9. “Cornelia Street” (Passion on Park Avenue, by Lauren Layne)

“Cornelia Street” is sort of the antithesis to I Think He knows. It’s about remembering the early days of a new relationship (“We were a fresh page on the desk/filling in the blanks as we go”) and being more than willing to give up all the good that comes with fresh starts in order to settle into something real. It aches with melancholy, because any time we give something up should be a little sad—but it brims with hope and Swift’s trademarked optimism about love. “I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends/I’d never walk Cornelia Street again/ That’s the kinda heartbreak time could never mend.” I had to pick an NYC-set story for this, like Lauren Layne’s Passion on Park Avenue. The city is another character in the romance between a successful jewelry-business owner and the son of the woman her mother used to work for.

10. “Death By a Thousand Cuts” (Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better, by Madisen Kuhn)

Inspired by the Netflix movie Something Great, this is one of the few sad songs on the record, about a girl going through a breakup who can’t help but linger in happier memories. (For the record: “I dress to kill my time” is genius, as are so many of these lyrics.) Only Swift is so good at pairing such devastating messaging with a pop beat you can’t help but want to sing. This song was the hardest one to pick a book for (especially because it’s already inspired by a movie) so I decided to go with a poetry collection! Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better is all about the aches and sun rays of growing up, told in a staggeringly relatable voice that will make you want to curl up on the couch and cry your eyes out.

11. “London Boy” (Red, White and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston)

This is 100% about Joe Alwyn, but also… Taylor dated at least two Brits that we know of before him, so this song is also about what we already knew (“the rumors are true”): she has a penchant for London Boys. Essentially a road map of her favorite places in the city, this indulgent ditty trades “Tennessee Whiskey” for “A gray sky, a rainy cab ride” and of course, her man by her side. Red, White, and Royal Blue is the perfect pick for this song, about two boys who fall in love (after a rough start where they were almost enemies) amidst those gray, rainy skies… but one of them happens to be the son of an American President, and the other, the current Prince of England.

12. “Soon You’ll Get Better (feat. Dixie Chicks)” (Swamplandia! by Karen Russell)

Of all the songs on the album, this one gave me the most vintage Swift vibes. There’s no denying that she is an astonishingly talented songwriter, especially when you listen to what is essentially her greatest fear laid bare on this track with just a bit of guitar and the Dixie Chicks harmonizing in the background. Here, the story shines: Swift’s mother has been sick for a number of years, and while they’ve mostly kept the details of that battle private, this is the most vulnerable moment of love for her mother on an album mostly about finding true love. “Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you/Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus, too.” A friend of mine recently lost their mother just after getting married, and it made me marvel at how life often delivers us highs and lows to grapple with simultaneously. While all of this was going on—Kanye and Kim, Joe and London, another world tour, another album—in the background, Swift has been terrified of losing her mother. This song made me think of Swamplandia!, a novel about a young girl living in a gator-wrestling theme park where her mother used to be the main event, until she passed away. Now, in the wake of her death, the girl and her siblings must grapple with their mother’s legacy as a competing business rises up to swallow the success she built on the swamp.

13. “False God” (City of Girls, by Elizabeth Gilbert)

Is that a saxophone in the background of a Taylor Swift song? This slow, jazzy number is all about love and desire—and how we come back to it even when the world around us (and sometimes we, ourselves) put it in jeopardy. “And I can’t talk to you when you’re like this/Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town/I’m New York City” and other lyrics referencing New York seem to be the grounding force in an otherwise tumultuous relationship. Multiple times on this record Swift has alluded to rough patches in her current happiness, but connection is always the solution to fixing it. She seems to say that if you treat your relationship like it’s your religion, you can get through anything. This is one of the sexier songs on the album, but it’s also got serious NYC vibes, so I’m picking City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert: a novel all about relishing romance in the glitzy 1940’s New York Theater scene, but also how desire can either set us on the road to ruin, or redemption.

14. “You Need to Calm Down” (The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, by Taylor Jenkins Reid)

This song has done what Swift does best: inspire conversation and a bit of controversy. Acknowledging that it was past time for her to be an outspoken ally for the LGBTQIAP+ community, YNTCD tackles the various ways communities are pitted against one another (especially on the internet.) The first verse examines her personal haters (“Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out/But you say it in a Tweet, that’s a cop-out), the second calls out homophobes (“Shade never made anybody less gay”), and the third examines how her relationships with her female contemporaries have often been antagonistic, something she herself has been responsible perpetuating in the past with songs like “Bad Blood” and “Better Than Revenge” (“We all know now, we all got crowns/you need to calm down.”) The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is about a famous actress who hid the great female love of her life behind multiple male partners and uses her platform to tell the truth (all while hiding one last devastating secret). While Taylor herself has not come out as part of the LGBTQ community, she has come out as an ally, and this book made me think about the issues of privacy, platform, allyship, and identity that the song also confronts. If there’s more to the story of Swift’s relationship to the LGBTQIAP+ community, she’s going to share it on her own terms.

15.“Afterglow” (Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams)

This song ranks high on my favorites from the album, and it’s a rare genre from Swift: the apology song. (The other famous one is Speak Now’s “Back to December.”) In this mid-tempo song with slamming drums and a breathy falsetto, Swift yearns for the partner she pushed away to meet her in the moments after the fight ends. “It’s all me, in my head/I’m the one who burned us down/ but it’s not what I meant,” she insists. There’s still hope here though, as opposed to earlier songs on the record that signal the doom of a friendship or a breakup after-the-fact. Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams, is a novel about a girl coming to terms with her role in a failed relationship, a career she can’t seem to succeed in, and friends she unknowingly betrays. “Why’d I have to break what I love so much?” is a question asked in this song’s chorus, and one Queenie must answer in order to find real, lasting happiness.

16. “ME! (feat. Brendon Urie)” (Crazy Rich Asians, by Kevin Kwan)

This self-love anthem is bubblegum sweet and full of earworms: the “Shake it Off“ of the TS7 Era. It makes me think of lightning-fast beach reads that you can’t put down and that feel so good to read but also have a deeper meaning to them. Just because it’s not the most lyrically advanced of her songs doesn’t mean this bop doesn’t deserve to be celebrated— it reminded me of how romances constantly get a bad rep (lol, see what I did there?) as somehow lesser than other genres. I love that Taylor doesn’t care about what other people think and is 100% focused on being her authentic self— just like the heroine of Crazy Rich Asians, Rachel Chu. When confronted with the wealth and expectations of her boyfriend Nick’s family (who don’t think she’s good enough for him), she insists it’s her individuality that makes her the perfect partner for him.

17. “It’s Nice to Have a Friend” (This Love Story Will Self-Destruct, by Leslie Cohen)

This track might be my second favorite? It’s so different (Ukulele? Trombone? Is that what I’m hearing?) and such a contrast to the beginning of the album, the opener closes the door on a once meaningful friendship. It’s also a deceiving song, in that I’m still not 100% sure what it’s about. I think Swift is exploring the importance of friendship in all its forms: in childhood (“School bell rings, walk me home”) to adolescence “Something gave you the nerve/to touch my hand”) to romantic love (“Church bells ring, carry me home/rice on the ground looks like snow”). Ultimately, she may be saying that the most important thing about a romantic partner is that they make you feel like you have a friend—when you’re young, the thing that matters most is feeling seen by other people. If your lover is also your best friend, then you know they always have your back. A love story that takes place over two characters’ twenties, This Love Story Will Self-Destruct is about the missteps, betrayals, beautiful moments and connection that forms between two people over a decade.

18. “Daylight” (Evvie Drake Starts Over, by Linda Holmes)

“My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in.” What a way to begin this album closer. Swift’s last tracks have a tradition of being the ones that are most emblematic of her current state of mind, but they also have developed certain themes over time. Renewal, starting over, self-reflection, and hope are all subjects “Daylight” sheds a little light on. She acknowledges past failings (“I wounded the good and trusted the wicked”) and what she wants for the future (“I once believed love would be [burning red]/but it’s golden”). A book that feels like daylight on your skin is what’s needed for this song, and I think Evvie Drake Starts Over is the perfect pick: a story about a woman still grieving the loss of her husband but who finds herself moving on with a former major league baseball player. Both of them have pasts they are healing from, but together, they find hope for the future. “I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night/and now I see daylight.” And, unlike (I think?) any other song in her catalogue, she speaks in the end, not sings, in a direct appeal to her audience. Her very last words are “You are what you love.” Well, I love Taylor Swift. I love a good song lyric to sink my teeth into, or to sing. I love love. And I love a good story, whether it comes from a song or a book, and when you’re done with the album, I hope you find some here.