#also why did the water i drank have 2 temps

[moth-wxffle]

having a numb mouth sucks

[missguomeiyun]

Homecooking [Jan ed]

I said I wasn't sure if I would continue doing these posts but. .. here I am :P

This January went by soooo fast. At the beginning of the month, I had almost a week off & I somehow lost my voice. Still not sure what happened but I was dealing with this dry nightly cough. It was so odd! I only coughed at night. Completely fine during the day. No other symptoms. I suspect it was likely a nocturnal parasite that likes to irritate my throat LOL just kidding. I'm sure it wasn't but that's what I choose to attribute it to. It's probably the dryness in my room. .. MAYBE. *shrugs*

We also had insane weather, which isn't surprising. We had deep freeze, beating out some really cold places & being the coldest place on earth for more than 1 day. This led to power grid problems. .. gov't issued emergency alert for using minimal power. Same for water - although no emergency alert was issued, we are actually currently in the middle of a water ban -.-" (bcos pump at a plant broke) ANDDDD guess what, it felt like a spring day today, where the highest temp was 11degrees in the middle of the day. What?!?!

Anyway, let's move onto the food & stuff~

I got this as a Christmas gift from coworker YH. Y'all know I don't prefer flavoured coffee. ... This was probably THE worst one I've ever drank. 1st of all, when you open the bag, the aroma just hits you. It smelled 'fake'. Not sure what/how but. .. like a wax candle? The taste was also terrible. Gahh I just did regular coffee machine filter & .. *shiver* it was so bad!

So I switched to this the next day =]

Yeah, the flavoured/infused coffees. .. it's not for me.

Leftover hot pot beef with lettuce & thin rice vermicelli.

Ramyeon with Busan fish cakes, baby bokchoy & soup seaweed. I used the Ottogi plain noodles - the ones that don't have seasoning. It's very nice to have to have around but sometimes when they're not on sale, it's like the same price as those that contain seasoning. In which case, you might as well buy the flavoured kinds haha

A spin on sundae-guk.

I steamed the sundae (blood sausage) & let it cool for a LONG time. It still falls apart but better than before. For the soup, I used a deonjang soup base (soybean paste) with some bokchoy, seaweed & white pepper. Sprinkled coarse salt & black pepper on top to finish. Usually sundae is eaten with a spicy salt powder but I used coarse S&P here & it turned out pretty good.

Plain udon <3 I like the Six Fortune brand udon (ones at room temperature in grocery stores). The broth was from a 'soup tea bag' that contained anchovies, baby dried shrimps & kelp.

English biscuit with cream of mushroom. (Biscuit from Sunterra marketplace)

PASTA~ I forgot which pasta sauce flavour this was but I used Evoolution gochujang olive oil with it & it was good.

Okay, let's pause to talk about my books.

I'm still not done this one bcos I got distracted lol but it is worth the hype. It's not a thriller but the content has some VERY minor thriller vibes. It's actually quite sad, overall. It follows a Korean woman named Kim Ji-young from her 'current' state -> back when she was born/her family situation -> growing up & entering adulthood -> marriage -> 'now'. It basically generalizes a typical/average woman's life in a male-dominant society.

This, on the other hand, was a quick chick-flick 'series' consisting of 2 books (they are related - book 1 & book 2) lol yes, I read really intense stuff & fluffy rom-coms.

I enjoyed maybe. .. 75% of it. The main girl in book 1 was quite pathetic. Annoying. Identity crisis - sort of situation. Met the main guy in a drama-like fashion & I was like . . . really? But in a good way! A fun, entertaining way. lol She got better in book 2 but still, some times, I was like. .. why?

Back to the food:

Re-creating one of my fav noodle soups! Busan fish cakes used to make the broth. I used a lot of the fish cakes to make a concentrated broth. Used some of the fish cake here & saved some for stir-fries. I added white pepper & fish sauce to season the broth. Noodles were the frozen kalguksu noodles from Hmart. Topped with dried seaweed & green onion.

Breakfast n a day-off. Mini seafood pancakes (Hmart frozen product) + kimchi + egg.

Stir-fried thick rice noodles with mushroom, bokchoy, fish cakes & tofu. Saucier than what I had anticipated bcos of the mushrooms. I didn't plan that very well lol sauce = mix of gochujang, soy sauce & fish sauce.

Made kimchi pancakes.

I used regular cooking oil (canola oil) mixed with salted butter to pan-fry these kimchi pancakes. I've never used oil + butter mixture before. .. I didn't know they would clash & create oil splashes =/ it was scary! But I survived. These panckakes were the best ones I've ever made!

Leftover beef + vegetable stew with thick rice noodles. It may seem weird bcos I'm like combining a western item with rice noodles. .. & adding more beef broth to make it into a noodle soup but it was actually tasty!

SOOOOOO many packets in this single serving of noodles O_O I'm not THAT into the environment but it bugs me. I wonder if . .. using a 'closed' tray system would work or not. I'm imagining something like a small bento box but lidded & that it would fit inside a bag. The plastic still isn't great but like . .. maybe it's better than a million of these packets?

Anyway, I didn't eat this bcos I actually don't like this kind of Chinese style noodles. The combo of sauces & flavour is too much for me Like it contains peanut oil, sesame sauce, seaweed, vinegar, chili oil, & chives. Oh, & peanuts! Too much random stuff that I don't use in my cooking. I just took a photo of the contents to show you.

Made maple sugar cold foam for the 1st time & it was a complete failure. It literally 'melted'/disintegrated. .. & why was it to hole-y?! As previously mentioned, I can't do heated creams/milk so I thought cold foam would be the way to go but it's not easy. .. I think I added too much water to melt the maple sugar so the water content was too much, thereby causing the milk to 'melt'. Don't know! But will try again in the future!

Summer rolls with imitation crab sticks, white beech mushroom & carrots. Yeah, no greens haha

Half of the summer rolls were eaten during lunch time & then the 2nd half, I saved for dinner. I drizzled some water on top & microwaved these bcos I've always wanted to know what the texture is like when summer rolls are microwaved. Obviously, the ingredients I used aren't the traditional kinds but it's the same rice paper & rice vermicelli noodles. They were kind of like a cross between summer rolls & steamed rice rolls? The rice paper wrapper became softer. But bcos rice paper is very thin compared to rice rolls, it didn't have that soft chewines/bounciness. It was just soft. No comment about the filling bcos. .. it's basically just heated up. & bcos they resembled rice rolls, I used hoisin sauce & satay sauce as the sauce instead of a diluted fish sauce mixture.

Air fried potatoes~ they take long. .. but so good! (used Costco-bought salmon seasoning & olive oil)

That is it for now. Thank you for reading as usual : )

[thetiredbiwrites]

Nurse Rogers

Steve x Reader (Plationic!Bucky x Reader, Plationic!Sam x Reader)

Summary: Reader is ill so her dramatic boyfriend looks after her

Words: 3925

A/N: I seem to have a habit of writing a lot, even if it’s not that great 🤣, but I also love reading long fics so oh well 🤷‍♀️ (the ending might be a tad rushed as well but I got stuck at the end and I wanted to post something)

A/N no.2: I don’t usually write in 1st person (’I’ and ‘my’ and shit) so if it randomly jumps to 2nd person (’you’ and ‘your’ etc) I’m sorry.

I am not sick. I tell myself again. I had felt it starting last night. You know how colds are. You just know when it’s coming. The scratchy throat, the sniffly nose and the mild headache when you moved. But I flat out refused to believe I was sick. If I believe I’m not then, I wont be. Besides, these things are always worse first thing in the morning and last thing at night, right?

Having survived the morning after a brief trip the gym, having to cut it short when my lungs screamed for air and spots danced in my vision, and a meeting with Tony discussing some new tech for me to use on missions (luckily I managed to control my sneezing so he wouldn’t question it), I was now on a personal mission to make tea.

Bucky and Sam strolled into the kitchen, their ‘debate’ being cut short by my loud sneeze. I somehow succeeded in not spilling boiling water all over the counter instead of my mug of lemon green tea with honey (I’m not sick. My sore throat is for other reasons. Definitely.) I immediately regretted shaking the sneeze away when my head pounded, and Bucky and Sam definitely caught it.

“Gesundheit.”

“That didn’t sound good, are you ok Y/N?”

Sam and Bucky commented. I just put on a smile, finishing making my tea and waved it off.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Totally fine. Just, dust. You know?”

Replying in a raspy voice, even I didn’t believe me. Sam and Bucky looked at each other and back to me with raised eyebrows.

“You want us to pretend that sounded even remotely believable?”

Sam remarked, leaning on the counter in front of me as Bucky rounded it and placed his hand on my forehead before dropping it and sighing.

“You’re sick.” Snapping to look at him with an indignant look I willed my voice to remain steady, “I am not sick!” I was betrayed as I sneezed loudly into my arm.

Sam and Bucky were more similar than they would ever admit as they looked at me with matching looks of ‘oh really’ but concern in their eyes. I had become fast friends with them and they knew how damn stubborn I was. I signed and dropped my head in defeat.

“You might want to try and sound more convincing before Steve gets up here.” I quickly looked up at Sam with wide eyes, in a panic. “No, I’m not sick.” Looking between the two men I knew they weren’t going to believe me anytime soon. “Ok, maybe I am but it’s just a cold, it’s not that bad. I’ve had a million colds in my life, it’s fine. I’m fine. Steve doesn’t have to know, please.” I practically whined at the end. Begging for Steve not to know.

Steve could get a little dramatic. Ok a lot dramatic. If anyone got hurt or was sick he could turn into a mother hen. Making sure they were resting, following doctor’s orders and well looked after. It was annoying really. And hypocritical. Given how his sick pre-serum ass never sat still for two seconds and fought people three times his size in back-allies. You’d have thought Bucky would be the fussy one, having looked after Steve all that time. He would make sure people had what they needed and were resting appropriately, sure, but gave you space and freedom and wasn’t overbearing.

Steve could become especially annoying when I was hurt or sick. Having been together for two and a half years, I knew this. Hence why I was trying to avoid him and deny this sickness. Luckily, he was always up first and every other morning went on a run with Sam and Bucky. Meaning he wasn’t there when I woke this morning wheezing, sneezing and sniffling.

Bucky and Sam just sent me sympathetic looks as footsteps down the hall indicated the arrival of my boyfriend. I groaned, dropping my head and letting my hair curtain my face from him as I drank my soothing tea.

Steve greeted everyone with a cheery hello, clearly Sam and Bucky behaved during their morning run and training for a change. I replied with a mumbled hello, trying to disappear into my mug.

I felt Bucky gently pat my shoulder before retreating to sit next the Sam opposite from me. Seconds later, I felt another presence on my other side and closed my eyes, breathing in the tea and hoping he wouldn’t catch on.

Of course I’m not that lucky.

*Steve had easily picked up on his girlfriend’s behaviour, not even looking at him and the clipped greeting. He took a closer look at her as he stood up straight after grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. She was stood slightly hunched, hair covering her face as she held a mug to her face. She was slightly shivering and wearing a chunky knitted cardigan which was unnecessary in the heated tower. Sparing a glance at Bucky and Sam he noticed them avoiding his gaze. The whole picture was off to him.*

I felt Steve place one hand on the other side of my head before planting a kiss on the other side, keeping his hand in place as he spoke.

“You ok, sweetheart?”

I still didn’t look up as I finished my tea,”Mmhm, yeah. I’m ok.”

Steve sighed, clearly not believing me. He may be in an idiot sometimes but he wasn’t dumb. Taking the mug out of my hands and placing it on the counter, he gently directed my face to look at him. I kept my eyes down but could feel his scanning my face before copying Bucky’s earlier actions and placing a hand on my forehead and tutting.

“Y/N you’re sick.”

I heard Bucky and Sam take in a sharp breath as I slowly meet Steve’s stern, but worried, gaze. I knew it was pointless trying to argue, but I was going to anyway.

“Not I’m not. I’m…slightly under the weather. With a common cold. It’s not even a bother. I’m totally fine, not even that bad. I’ve definitely had worse.”

“Y/N.”

Here it comes.

“You are sick. You should be in bed. It could get worse and you don’t look fine. You’re pale, shaking, your eyes are red and puffy, your nose is red, your lips are dry and chapped and your voice sounds bad, should I go on or are you done?” I groaned and closed my eyes, rolling my neck I spared a glance to the guys who immediately found something on the counter more interesting. Useless so-called best friends.

Steve nodded once before declaring that I was going back to bed. As he quickly made me a fresh tea I leaned into the guys, who coved their faces from my infected breath, and glared. “Traitors. Some best friends you are, totally useless.”

“Let’s go.”

Groaning, again, I dropped my head and muttered, ‘I hate Nurse Rogers’, causing the traitors to let out a laugh. I pushed off the counter and trudged after my Nurse, pout on my face.

*two days later*

I had been confined to my bed, only granted permission to get up to use the bathroom. It was much more tasking to convince Steve to let me have a shower last night than interrogating HYDRA agents. I was currently trapped under many layers of blankets reminding myself I did in fact love my boyfriend.

My symptoms had gotten worse, as they always do in the early days of a cold. The ones I could hide from Steve, I did. The coughing fits, runny nose, teary eyes and croaky voice were impossible to hide from him. But he didn’t know that my whole body ached, my head was pounding and that my chest cried out with every breath. He’d only freak out and try to force me to the med bay, completely unnecessary.

I tried not to glare at him as he softly made his way over to sit on the bed next to me. Another mug of lemon tea was placed on the bedside table as he handed me some water and painkillers to take as he checked my temperature, again. I had given up trying to stop him, actually I had just stopped talking to him altogether. Communicating in nods and various hums when he asked something. He was frustrating, but he only did it because he loved me. Something I had to remind my self of more and more frequently and the minutes ticked by.

“Temp hasn’t changed much. I brought you another tea and some mild snacks that should also be gentle on your throat. Here’s some more tissues. You take your pills?” With eyebrows raised I just nodded at Steve who was somehow tucking the blankets tighter and fussing around me.

“I have to run out to the store so promise you’ll stay in bed, drink your tea and try to eat something. I’ll be back very soon.” With an ‘mmhmm’ from me, Steve gently kissed my head before, thankfully, leaving. The furthest from me he had been in the last two days was the kitchen of our shared floor. Even then, he kept the door open so he could still see me.

I waited ten minutes before confirming with FRIDAY that Steve was out of the building to- with great difficulty- throw the covers off. I had made the mistake of shivering last night which got me wrapped up in a hundred layers. However, a couple hours ago, it all switched, and I was way too hot. This meant I was a disgusting, sweaty mess now.

I quickly sprayed some deodorant on, changed my clothes into some breathable pj bottoms and a tee and brushed my hair. Grabbing my slipper-boots and tea, I’d be in so much bother if I didn’t drink it, I dragged my aching legs to the elevator.

“Hey FRIDAY, where’s Barnes and Wilson?”

Luckily FRIDAY is a high-tech AI designed by THE Tony Stark, meaning she could still understand my horrible voice. The effect of not speaking for a while made my throat scream and I tried to sooth it with my tea as I was informed the guys were in the gym.

A coughing fit broke out as the doors opened to the gym and yet I somehow managed not to spill any tea and walk in. This, of course, caught the attention of the two sweaty men in the middle of yet another competition, both turning to look at me.

“How the hell did you get away from Steve?”

“Did you finally snap and kill him?”

Bucky and Sam asked as my coughs eased, free hand slightly pressing on my chest as I got my breathing back.

“Ha Ha. I don’t think I could if I tried right now.”

I made my way in front of the boys, who’s faces scrunched into sympathy and concern as the sound of my voice.

“He had to go to the store so I finally got my chance to bolt. Escape the confines of my bed. And to see my two favourite guys, of course!”

I laid it on thick at the end, smile wide- well, as wide as possible when they’re so cracked and sore. The boys just smiled and rolled their eyes, despite being sure they knew what I wanted, they asked anyway.

“Please, please, please, distract Steve. I am begging you. I will do anything, and that is a lot to promise to the two of you!” “Hey, offended.” “What do you expect us to do? Trying to get him to leave you is like convincing Tony to go to bed.”

Bucky had a point. Steve had cancelled all his training, gym time, meetings, everything. Just to stay with me. It was sweet, in a way. He loves me, but he’s smothering me. There’s a line.

“Maybe…you could make up a mission? Or spice one up a bit so that Captain America is needed?” The only chance Steve would leave is if innocent lives were at risk and he was needed. It had to be important and urgent, it was my only hope.

“’spice up’. Are you kidding, Y/N? You want us to lie about a mission just so you can have a break?” “Sam you have no idea what I would do. I cannot take anymore of this. I know he’s trying to help but to be honest he’s just prolonging this. The tea is the only thing working right now. I’m not dying but if innocents might be in danger of dying, they he’ll leave. Hopefully.”

Bucky dropped his head with a sigh. He knew better than anyone how Steve could be. During his recovery and adjustment into the 21st century and away from HYDRA, Steve was with him almost 24/7. After two weeks in the tower, he couldn’t take it anymore. He had slipped away from Steve and found himself in the lab with Tony and me. It didn’t take much begging for Tony to lock us in the lab and Steve out. He loves to mess with Steve.

“Ok. Sam, don’t you and Nat have that mission this afternoon? Maybe you could tell him there’s been some chatter and Captain America is needed.”

Sam looked at Bucky in disbelief and betrayal that he gave in so quickly. Also, that what Bucky came up with would pin him to blame when Steve finds out. But one look at my tired, begging, teary puppy eyes, had him caving.

“Ok, ok. I’ll let Nat know. Maybe we can tell him there’s word of more guards or hostages or something. But when he finds out, I’m blaming you, Tin-Arm.”

When Steve returned half an hour later, I was back in bed- with significantly less layers of blankets- watching Scrubs re-runs on tv and explaining things to Bucky who had cleaned up and offered to keep me company, without fussing over my cold.

Steve, after announcing his return and greeting Bucky, was immediately at my bedside again spewing question after question about how I was feeling.

“Hey, Punk, ease up. Try taking a breath and you might get an answer.”

Bucky came to my defence and Steve snapped his mouth shut. Bucky smirked slightly as he glanced at me and I smiled a thanks in return.

“I think Sam was looking for you. Something about a mission.”

“Yeah, I caught him downstairs. They have a meeting soon and leave in a few hours but-“

“Go” I rasped out the first work I’d spoken to him in days. My voice definitely felt worse after being mute for 48 hours then talking and laughing with Bucky for the last 30 minutes. But I didn’t show it.

“But I don’t- what if you- I wouldn’t be back for a couple days and you’re-“

“Fine. She’s fine, Steve. Don’t want to make your girl feel guilty if someone got hurt or killed because you chose to be dramatic about her basic, easily recovered from cold over going on this mission, do you?”

Damn. He’s good at this. Ok little mean, definitely a guilt trip. But it’s working and I need a break.

“I’ll stay with her. Get your butt to the meeting and go do your damn job.” I placed a hand over Steve’s and with a comforting smile told him I would be ok. With much reluctance and many glances, Steve gathered what he would need and headed out. Not before kissing my head goodbye though. He tried to tell me he doesn’t get sick with the serum so just let him kiss me, but I was not allowing myself to suddenly cough or sneeze into his mouth. Yuck.

Steve POV

(Two days later, back at the compound)

“So, you two lied to me?” Steve stormed through the halls, still in his uniform, Sam and Bucky trailing behind. He was infuriated.

He had easily realised he was not in fact needed on the mission the day after they arrived. He had decided to ignore it and just complete the mission as he was already there. The second they landed at the compound, however, Steve had turned to Sam and Natasha in fury. Natasha was quick to announce she had no part and take her leave. Bucky had made the mistake of meeting them when they landed, a mistake Sam was grateful for.

“Well, yes, but-“

Steve cut Sam off, “You lied to me. Made me go on a mission I was not needed on while Y/N is sick. I should have been here, looking after her. She could have-“

“She asked us to do it.”

Steve stopped and turned to Bucky, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Y/N asked us to do something. The only thing you would leave her alone for is a mission- If innocent lives were in danger.” He explained, softly. He knew as well as Y/N did that Steve was overprotective out of love.

“She did what? Why-why would she…?” Steve questioned, quietly. He was hurt. He just wanted to look after her, like a good boyfriend and friend should. He wanted her to be ok because he hated seeing her down or hurting or sick.

“Because she was going crazy. Dude, we know-she knows- that you love her. Like a lot, man, getting you to shut up about her is near impossible. But you get a bit much when any of us are sick or injured, but when it’s Y/N, man you go overboard.”

Steve was silenced by Sam’s confession. He just wanted everyone to be ok. He had realised he could go a little over the top sometimes, but every member of the team is so damn stubborn. Natasha dislocated her shoulder the year previous and, against doctors orders, was in the gym the following week. Clint had the flu the previous winter and still insisted on flying himself back home to Laura and the kids.

Both Tony’s therapist and the med bay doctor told him he needed to sleep more, and not at his workbench (it was not good for his back!), and yet he hadn’t listened. Steve is the only the one who still regularly pressures Tony to sleep. After the accords and Siberia incident, when everything was settled and everyone returned to the compound, Steve made an effort to pay more attention to Tony. Noting all the mistakes he made before. Tony did well at hiding his PTSD, anxiety and lack of decent sleep. But once Steve realised, he made it a personal mission to help him and regular, good sleep would go a long way. Even if it usually included arguments, threats to get FRIDAY or call Y/N down to get all his equipment shut down and even occasionally just picking him up, fireman style, and carrying him to his bed. After a 9 day stretch in the lab Steve had carried Tony to his room and stood guard til he was asleep (he had a habit of sneaking back out) and it wasn’t long until Tony was out for the night.

But Y/N, she was so important to him. And just as stubborn. Steve couldn’t bear the thought of her being in any sort of pain or anything bad happening her. He certainly couldn’t imagine losing her. It scared the shit out of him. He was just trying to help.

“Steve,” Bucky broke his prolonged silence, “she loves you, she knows you’re just trying to help her. But it’s just a cold. She just needs rest and occasionally painkillers for the headache. She admits the tea was helpful, but it’s hard to rest with hourly temperature checks, a game of 20 questions and those concerned eyes watching her 24-seven.” He pointed to Steve’s eyes, a smile on his face, and the corner of Steve’s mouth twitched.

“I guess I could, back off a bit. I was a slightly dramatic for a common cold.”

“Slightly?! Dude, just, ask her what she needs. Be there for her without taking over. You know she calls you ‘Nurse Rogers’ right?”

Steve laughed, “Really? Well I guess it’s appropriate.” He nodded and thanked his best friends.

Y/N POV

I was curled into my side, covers over my head and facing away from the windows. Curses aimed at my boyfriend swirled around my pounding head, why the hell did I agree to not have blackout curtains? I could have got black out blinds underneath for when he isn’t here. Maybe I’ll ask Tony next time I see him. Steve liked to wake up and see the light entering the room. He’s an early morning person and I’m not even a morning person. I accepted it though, actually got used to it and mastered the ability of easily falling back to sleep with the light. But my head hurts so much that the light is ten times too bright, making my eyes burn and the cold monster pound it’s heaving fists against my skull.

The rest of my symptoms had either disappeared or lessened. I no longer had a runny nose or teary eyes, no sudden sneezing or constant coughing and my throat was much better. I still had mini coughing fits and my chest ached, but not as much as the previous days. Unfortunately, the headache was relentless.

This is how Steve found me, the door slightly and slowly scuffing across the carpet and his light footsteps alerting me to his presence and identifying them as him. Bucky’s footsteps where slightly louder (and he had visited many times the last couple days) and Sam always swung the door open quickly. I didn’t raise my head though. I hadn’t long taken painkillers after waking up and they had yet to kick in.

I felt the bed dip and Steve carefully perched at the edge next to me and I braved peaking over the covers at him. He held a small and soft look on his face which brought me comfort. I had missed him. Well, I had missed Steve not Nurse Rogers. Bucky had checked in, especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night when I felt the worst, just to ask if I needed anything, and we watched a couple movies. I was perfectly able to look after myself, I did it before he came along and I can do it now.

“I know you got the guys to send me on that mission.”

I cringed and looked up at him, guilt on my face.

“It’s ok, I know I’m, a lot. They told me. I just love you so much and wanted to help. I guess you got too much of ‘Nurse Rogers’ huh?” He smirked slightly, running his hand through my hair.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled from under the overs, my mouth still hidden.

“Do you need anything? What do you want?”

“I want my boyfriend. Not a Nurse. I want my boyfriend to just lie in bed and watch crappy tv with me.”

He moved to get into bed, but I stopped him, “after he takes his uniform off and takes a shower.”

15 minutes later I was curled into my boyfriend’s side, head on his chest as we watched some baking programme arguing over who’s cake was better. He had one arm round my waist, thumb rubbing soothing circles on my hip and the other running through my hair. It wasn’t long until I was asleep, happily in his arms and already feeling a hell of a lot better.

[eekispyykes]

Mr Sparklepuff Feline Obituary 5.1.2020/Abridged

Mr Puffs 4-2002-  5-1-2020

by Michael Bench

Mr Puffs was an excellent friend and adventurous hiker. He loved to be outdoors. A ferocious mouser ; he did an arc'ing jump on mice and chipmunks from 2 clumps of brush away. The porch frankly stank from all his gifts. An amazing climber and very fast sprinter crossing a square acre in about 3.5sec. Some would ask why he was named as such and close friends know the whole story. A primary point was so people had a good vibe about him and would let him be. In the past two years  he had cancer of the face that spread. He had been treated with surgery to remove the tumor. At a shade over 18yo, he set to rest as every night he was shivvering in normal home temp and couldn't keep weight on; refusing to leave the couch; hating being put in pet clothes/infant flannel.

2017-2020 were tough years for him adjusting to a new stray friend we “adopted” from the wild. They were startingn to get along. It played into the stress.I feel bad about this. it split us up somewhat.  My younger cat was more forceful about claiming me. It weighs on me; Frankly it seemed like a few rape attempts also that difficulted the social cue of ‘normal cat spooning”.. Mr Puffs was able to get out on a van ride of Fogelsville,PA about three months ago. He also gave some love to his plush hedgehog toy. He gave it a consensual drilling every once a while or daily.

What you should know about Mr Puffs:

:My grilling deputy  and trout inspector

:Loved to play the mysterious thing under blanket or newspaper game

:Love to play the mysterious tapping fingers under the many basement stairs game

:Fine taste in music and loved being my karaoke fan. Love you buddy. Not very keen on Tv after Keenan Michael Keys left Animal  Planet's morning show.

:Enjoyed less usual faire like potatoes and adored bbq chicken pizza; he could handle medium wings. He WAS WARNED each time and kept him away from it till it was obvious he wanted it. Honey ham, turkey, .. and salami**. Mind you, he has never been overweight and was complimented by his first vet for muscle tone. It's his compliment to own.

:Enjoyed jumping apartment building gaps while in town: we had to rough it for a month in a storage facility after an unexpected eviction.. which we then would go for walks 1a-3a to get his exercise and water the landscape mulch at 11th street Fred Meyers. There's a little marsh back behind the store that became our little daytime haven.

:His Hiking career started in Eugene, OR. We would go night walking ,w/o a leash and whenever someone was coming he would detour off the sidewalk and into the nearest house’s bushes.. This was optimal because he would get back on the lit sidewalk and learn to keep course. This advanced to 5-7 mile hikes from U Oregon campus to Hendrix park and back. One trip such trip he was panting so he didn’t really want to run away anywhere or into traffic fortunately.. The sun had come out of the cloud cover and heated things up above the usual. We stopped at an icecream place on the way back on the edge of campus: Agate and 19th. Even though he was tired, he was a smart and collected guy. so he slinked to the back of the shop till I came back out..It was like escorting the supermodel of manly cats.  It was at this time I knew leashes or more distant locations were necessary.  

:While we were driving back to Pennsylvania, he decided to have a playfrenzy on the dashboard while I was in heavy traffic nearabouts of Nebraska/Rushmore on the interstate.

:Short story : Since he now had room in the yard to runaround Puffs tested his speed and momentum to get up tree trunks. Our front yard had a medium sized maple oak something. Mr Puffs ran up the tree and alarmed a family of nesting doves. The doves and Mr Puffs seemed to flee the tree foilage each in horizontal directions at about 8ft off the ground.  

:Other than a shoulder injury from a fight of somesort, he was very durable. His parent's owners had coined him 'Jaco” after the famous bass player.. A green -eyed Russian Blue tuxedo, angular white paws.  with little white hairs across his coat. At times I also referred to him as “Cactus Jack”. Massive front incisors like a miniature sabertooth. I pitied the rabbits who he caught which were still squealing.

:Another Short Story. I coaxed my mom to live a little and put that front addition on the house she always wanted. She got an enclosed porch. Theres an open porch on the back of the house also. When the framing was done.. I went out to the backyard to enjoy the night sky, I heard nothing. When I turned around I had two bright eyes scaring me  to the ground. From 9ft, the top of the roof porch he looked at me Apparently Puffs had climbed the 8ft of framing from the work table, crossed the rafters, crossed the whole house roof and decided to voyeur me on the other side of the house. I was very glad he didn't tempt the electric lines whose pole he had tried to climb other days.Stressing moments on me as well.

:Puffs became a pro at taking baths since 2017, and getting nails trimmed at the same time. The trim helped him jump (getting pad purchase)  and helped the furniture too.

:Another quick story. Cats can swim. I took him to go swimming in the creek and that went pretty good the first time. (Must always be on leash. And probably use partially inflated swimmy muscle). He was really comfortable in the water if it was shallow(2.5ft). The problem with the creek is its near a road so don't be near roads even with the leash on.  He was swimming a good crawl in about 4ft.  A fish mustve brushed his foot because he panicked and started jumping out of the water like a bass on a hook. I literally had to swing him in the air (with leash) and onto the shore into some leaves and grass. There's some fault in not being close enough to him to pick him up out of the water directly. He swam pretty good and at range.  To ease that trauma.. (nearly heart attack probably; that went sour) , I let him calm down. At a much shallower area no taller than his knees(5-6”) I set him into the stream without much resentment and just petted him to get him calm.  (He wasn't a lap cat before that either.) At that point the swimming  got shuttered for downhill walks and other casual stuff.

: On similar climbing points.. even till about 2015, he liked to jump the gap from the upright piano top (4ft) to the top of the entertainment center (7.5 ft) plus the hallway gap of  3.5 ft and he was really solid at it. Would stay up there for a while and then jump down onto the sofa table (3 ft tall).. He was always calculating a new feat. When that one item stopped being in his wheelhouse it was clear he was getting bothered/ annoyed and the stress of a cat territory issue wore him down.

If you were to be near him, you'd end up watching him. This statue of a male cat with really long tail. Not lemur-long but really long.. a gray panther. And, maybe you'd try to pet him since he looked inviting. Yet, you wouldn't get much petting done. He'd probably tolerate two brushes and then give your hand a carving with his claws, hiss at you and find a new place to observe the room,  That said, he would cruise the neighborhood looking which apartment I might've visited, slink in and check out how other people decorated. A very dignified personality, sometimes to the point of indignant.  He was  a cat you'd want to clone over and over because he was just that cool on himself. Cloning him was on the slate too until those type of businesses were closed with political force.. He actually inspired a jazz song  (currently in midi form) that I’ve yet to record. I was tore up about his first cancer surgery so I started writing. Hope that will be out soon enuff. I hope this can help you appreciate Mr Puffs. He was buried at a spot he chose. It was nearby a set of brush he would choose to hide in hours near the middle of  hikes.

.. he loved to hide.  Back in Oregon I'd take him  in the van with my mentally handicapped clients. He'd be set loose to get his relaxation in. By the time it was time to leave. he wanted to stay. He hid in bushes and culverts. I learned very quickly that such outings had to be local or I'd be driving back hours to go get him at night or worse. Once I knew that, we'd take rides on the bus to the edges of the bus line and just chill on hills overlooking boating lakes. Fern Ridge Reservoir had a nice pine overlook off Territorial hwy.  He really enjoyed outings and variety. Maybe thats what kept him interested as a matter of longevity. I want to end on that.  He showed me lessons in best intentions and good in the bad.. and murdering all my Egyptian spiny mice within hours of acquiring them and their replacements. Its not like I wouldn't have gotten him a feeder mouse but there were plenty stinking up the walkway as it was. I'm blessed to have spent that month sheltered in a renta-shed with him. It seems the alternative .. without having enough for a pet deposit elsewhere (that moment) was to lower my standards for the landlords daughter and by whatever 'influence' she had. 'evicted us for periodic renovations”. So, eventually we chose instead to leave and he got a brims of fieldmice, chipmunks and forest romping. I hope that was an appreciated choice. He liked city life too. Should you choose to tribute to Mr Puffs, I welcome it. He’d be the type of cat Dos Equis beer would be looking for if he actually drank it.

Hope you’re feeling better, Puffs; BFF 

[alittleranting]

Yoonseok (Sope) Fanfic

So yeah hey see who had this on her laptop for almost a month and forgot to post it... So here you go, boo. @mysticalkpopper

You hear the rain pouring outside. Great.. really great, it's raining... What am I gonna do now? You'd planned to meet with your best friend Namjoon to have a BBQ. His little brother Jungkook and his best friend Taehyung also wanted to join you. But the guys were whining about the rain and cancelled it. Now you're just sitting in your living room, starring out of the window and whining yourself.. You let out a deep sigh and fall onto your sofa. You closed your eyes and think about that party you read about on a flyer. Initially you didn't wanted to go but it's your best option at this point. At least something you could look forward to. You decided to call your sister, maybe she has some time to come over. You dial her number: "Dawon?"

"Hey Hoseok, what's up?" "The guys cancelled and now I'm bored... Wanna come over?" "Sorry, but no I have to work the late shift today.. " "How come? You never have the late shift, unless..." "Bingo. My coworker bailed out because he wanted to go to a stupid party." "I actually thought of going to on myself..." "Mh ok, have fun then. Listen I have to go back to work but tomorrow I'll come over ok?" "Sure, see ya." "Bye." Dawon ended the call and you put your phone back on the coffee table. Another deep sigh leaves your mouth. You get up and drag yourself into the bathroom. A hot shower is probably the right thing with that unpleasant weather. After you finished you waddle to your bedroom. Still naked you stay in front of your closet. The hell should I wear? I have just too many clothes.. Yikes. Ripped jeans, a green button shirt and your new Balenciaga shoes probably will do it. It was still pretty early so you just put on your clothes and sat back down on your sofa. You scrolled through social media when you get a text from Namjoon.

"Hey Hobi what are you doing?" "Nothing really. I dressed up and think of going to that big party later. U?" "I went to a friend because he wanted my advice on his clothes. Guess he wants to go to the same party. But his type of clothes really aren't my style so I cant really say anything...." "Haha need my help?" "Technically yes but I can't just take pictures of him and send them to you.." "I mean TECHNICALLY you could." "Hobi you know I don't do stuff like that!" "Yeah yeah I get it. Then have fun playing dress up." "Thanks...."

Pfft.. Joon can play dress up with someone but won't grill a fucking steak with me. Guess I have to life with a fake ass bitch as my best friend. AND then he doesn't even send me pictures of that boy. Like come on maybe he has a cute ass.. I WANNA SEE!!!! Damn lucky noone can read your mind.. Your dramatic ass would be so embarrassed.

You take a look on your watch. In a while you could start walking to the location. You would still be one of the first there but then you can get a seat at the bar. You went into the bathroom to put on light make up and check yourself out for the last time. Grabbing your wallet, phone and keys you leave your apartment. You let google maps guide you too your destination and to your suprise there already is a queue. Nontheless you didn't have to wait long. You show your ID to the bouncer and get to enter the club. The room is huge and just a few people stand there in groups and are talking. The music isn't really loud yet so the atmosphere is rather relaxed. Just as planned you got a seat at the bar. You settled in and ordered a beer. After your third beer the club was pretty full, all those people were enjoying themselfs but you sat there alone. You started regretting coming on your own but after today you didn't wanted to mope anymore. Hesitantly you scoot down from the bar stool and make your way to the dance floor. As you start moving with the rhythm you feel you're in your element and lose yourself in the music. You don't even know for how long you danced when your bladder practicly screams at you. You drank six beer by now and your tolernace isn't high at all so you're pretty dizzy and waver to the restroom. Once you're there you look in the mirror. "Wow I look tousled." "Nah, you look pretty cute." A guy you didn't know showed up behind you and playfully slapped your ass while winking at you. He scared the shit out of you and you almost wet yourself. At the pissoir you bump into the guy next to you and murmer a 'Sorry' to him while making eye contact but your eyes didn't stay up there. They wander down to his dick. Mh not bad. Maybe a little small but definitly average.. I could make that work! The dude next to you eyes you. He's clearly uncomfortable with you checking him out BUT you couldn't care less right now. Finally relieved you go and wash your hand. You leave the restroom but not without checking yourself out a last time and fixing your hair. You decide it's better to take it slow so you return to the bar, take a seat again and order a glass of water to clear your mind. Moments later the barkeeper gives you your water and presents you 2 shots along side. "I DIDN'T ORDER SHOTS!" The bartender points to the other side of the bar. You follow his direction and see a young woman. Your eyes meet and she smiles gently at you. Not knowing what you should do you nod to her in appreciation and take a sip of your water. You listen to the music for a while but nothing they're playing at the moment sounds familiar to you. Suddenly you feel a hand on your shoulder, as you turn around it's the pretty girl. "Don't you like liquor?" "WHAT?" "DON'T YOU LIKE LIQUOR?" She pointed to the shots that still set next to your glass. "I DO BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET SUPER DRUNK." "YOU DON'T SEEM REALLY SOBER TO ME." She laughed and took both shots in her hand, handing you one. She clinks the glasses and downs her shot. You follow her. "I'M HOSEOK." "NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M YEEUN." She held out her hand and you shook it. "THANKS FOR THE DRINK. Do you wANNA DANCE?" "DANCE?" "YEAH. YOU WANNA?" You got up and looked at her curious. She shrugged her shoulders and followed you into the dancing crowd. You two had some fun dancing together but at some point she started grinding against you. You try backing up a bit but get shoved into her by the jumping people around you. Yeeun gets really touchy and you feel uneasy. "LISTEN YOU'RE CUTE BUT YOU'RE NOT QUITE... MY TYPE." "I'M CUTE?" Her eyes shimmer and it seems like she wanted to kiss you but you step back and push her gently aside. You rush away from the crowd into the restroom and lock yourself into a cabine. Damn that was weid.I never really attract women so how the hell did that happen!? You take a deep breath and left the room just to see Yeeun waiting in the doorframe for you. "Why you ran away? Wanted to lure me into the restroom? Naughty." "Listen! I don't like girls ok?" "Wait what?" "I'm gay!" "Eum..." Her face turned really red and she left without saying anything else. Puh.. that was awkward... Am I always that weird with people? No, that's not possible, right? I can't recall ever having such a problem with a guy. As you were cought up in your thoughts something else came to your mind. Yeeun spreed the idea in you to also look for someone. You already saw some cute boys and if it wasn't for your bladder you could have been the pray of the guy in the restroom, maybe you can find him again. Walking through the mass you scan the people for someone who seems like a nice match for tonight. After a while you felt like sobering up so you thought getting back to the bar was the best shot for now. You felt like wasting your time, sure you had had some fun but suddenly lying in bed and watching an episode of Adventure Time sounds very temping. You emtied your forth glass and decide that it's time for you to go home. Once again you move through the people heading for the door but before you could reach it a guy walks in. He's wearing  tight leather pants and a cute crop top revealing a belly button piercing which matches his earings. He's really cute and the first thing that comes to your mind is: "DIBS!" The guy you were reffering to looks at you with a mixture of suprise and pride. Just then you realized that you didn't thought but spoke it out loud. Your cheeks got flashing red. You wanted to leave the scenery so badly but the guy you dibsed still stood there blockig your way. You ran as fast as possible into the crowed aiming for the restroom to lock you up. You were panicking and the first person you thought of was Namjoon, you needed his help. You figet with your phone needing quite some time to unlock it and finding Namjoons chat. Guess I wasn't sobering up, just thirsty for more liquor. I'm drunk as hell. "Namjoon!!!!!!!!" "I fked up!1!!!!" "Im rlly druk n I yelled dibs at that hot guy that entrt the club.........." "Help!!!!!!!!!!!!" Namjoon didn't take long to reply. After seeing a dozend of cry-laughing smileys he actually send a text message. "Calm down, everything's alright. Yoongi just texted me literally the same, bragging about the fact that his outfit was hot and that some random dude yelled dibs at him." "YOU KNOW HIM!?!????!" "Yes I know him. I told you I helped a friend with his outfit for a night out. That was him. Just talk to him. You can even say that you know me or do you want me to text him for you?" "NO!! Pls dont! Ill tak to him." "OK, have fun, Hobi. And just so you know it: He's gay and on the hunt. ;D" You put your phone away and lean against the closed door. You close your eyes and try to foces. What should I say? How can.. Your thoughts got disturbed by a knocking on the door. "You in there?" "Wh-who's there?" "The guy you just dibsed. Wanna collect your price?" Not thinking twice you rip open the door and just look at the guy who's named Yoongi. "What?" "I mean you called dibs, you look good, so here I am." You still don't move and just look at him with wide eyes. Yoongi sighs and grabs your hand, you don't resist and move along with him to the bar. You refuse to drink more liquor but Yoongi downs 3 shots. "By the way I'm Yoongi." "I know, Namjoon told me about you." "Huh? You know him?" "He's my best friend." "Ahhh you're Hoseok." "He told you about me?" "Of course.  Although I'm hurt he never introduced us." "Mh maybe he had his resons. Do you dance?" "No." "But-" "I said no." "Why so stern?" "I- I can't dance." "Have you seen all those people? You really call that dancing? That's just body wiggling." You show him your bright, heart shaped smile and laugh about your own words. Yoongi just smiles at you with gentle eyes. "You know, you seem like a fun guy. Maybe it would be ok to try dancing with you." This time you're the one grabing Yoongi's hand and nevigate him to the dance floor. You start moving your body once again to the rhythm not taking your eyes of Yoongi who just stands there awkwardly. You grab his hand and spin him around until he's laughing. He sounds cute. You put your hands on Yoongis waist because he was dizzy and stumbling all over the place. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" "YES. Yes." He seemed to relax beause he started dancing again on his own and you joined him. After a while you grew confident and searched for more body contact. You scoot closer to him and lay your arms around him grinding against his ass. Suddenly you stopped your movement having a deja vu. Just as you wanted to make some space between you two you realize that he leaned into your embrace and moves along side with you. Probably wondering why you stopped moving Yoongi turned around and looked at you with a puzzled expression. You scan his facial features, the soft lips that form a pout, his dark eyes that search for an answer regarding your behavior, the cute nose, his heavy but decent looking make up. You didn't know what came over you but you cupped his face and pressed your lips against his. Yoongi widened his eyes but he didn't pull away. He slung his arms around your neck and traces his tounge over your lips searching for access. You part your lips and let your tounge play with his, due to the alcohol he tastes sweet and bitter at the same time. Lost in each other you just stand there kissing each other. Your hands wander down and grab his ass which feels squishy although he's wearing those tight pants. Yoongi suddenly breaks the kiss. "LET'S GO." With that he starts walking towards the exit and you trail behind him. Once you two are outside Yoongi reconnect your lips. In a short break he whispers into your ear: "Your place or mine?" "Ehm..." Fuck... fuck fuck FUCK. Should I go home with him? Or take him with me? Should I even at all!? I know I wanted to 'hunt' but know that it's at that point I'm not sure. Should I? Your head was spinning. All those thoughts rush through your head and the fresh air just makes everything spin even more. "Hey, are you alright?" "No, I don't feel so good." "Damn should I call you a cab?" "No no it's fine, I'll walk home." "Are you sure?" "Ye-" You couldn't finish your sentence because you vomited. "Sorry.. I can't take alcohol well." "I see..." Yoongi moved away some steps and pulled out his phone. "Hey Joon it's me. You think you could pick up Hobi? He's pretty drunk and I don't want to put him into a cab. - Yes? - OK. - Alright, I'll wait. - Yes, see ya." "OK, Namjoonie is gonna pick you up." "As I heared... Thank you." "No problem." Yoongi trudges around in a circle, repeatedly blowing air in and out of his right cheek. After what felt like eternity Namjoon arrived and put you into the car. "Thanks for looking after him, Yoongs. Should I take you home?" "Nah, I'm fine. I guess I just go back into the club." "OK, see ya." "Bye."

You see Yoongi vanish into the building while you try to smile at Namjoon but it came of more as a sad grin. Namjoon took a deep breath and shook his head. "What were you thinking Hobi? You know you don't take alcohol well.." "I know..." "You're lucky Yoongi knows me, who knows what could have happend." "I know..." He sighs and manoveurs you onto the backseat. You plomp down and curl into a ball. Namjoon gets into the drivers seat and brings you home. Once at your doorstep he pulls your keys out of your backpocket and even brings you to your bedroom. "Can I leave you alone or should I stay with you?" "No it's fine. I'll just lay down and sleep." You let yourself fall face forward into the mattress. You feel how Namjoon takes off your shoes and throws a blanket over you. "I wait until you fall asleep." "Thanks Joonie." "Of course." The bed bunks down beside you and you feel his hand caressing your back and ruffling your hair. Immediately you drift into a deep slumber. When you wake up the next day you take a look at the clock. It's the middle of the day and you kind of want to turn around and sleep some more but you're grossed out by your own smell. Alcohol, sweat and smoke - the holy trinity of a clubs smell. You rise your heavy feeling body from the bed and undress, on your way to the bathroom you grab a fresh pair of boxers and a cozy sweater. Finally under the shower you start to relax. The warm water pouring over your body seems to wash away your sever headache. At least a little bit of it. Now that your head is somewhat clearer you start to think of the previous night. You face palm yourself and lean against the cool tiles behind you. Oh god what the fuck did I do last night... I have to ask Namjoon for Yoongis number so I can apologize or maybe I just should make sure to never see him again so I can't embarrass myself even more.. You finish your shower, quickly dress up and your first instict is to call your sister. "Dawon, where are you?" "I'm on my way to you. Why, do you need anything?" "No. I'm just... stressed." "Tell me, I can hear it in your voice. But I have to rumble some myself so prepare some tea, it's gonna be a long ted talk!" "Oh- ok." Before you knew it she already hung up. You made the tea and didn't have to wait any longer for her to knock. You ripped open the door and fall into her arms, hugging her tight. "Dawooooon... I messed up big times... It's so embarrassing." "Stop whining. When you're like this I almost forget I'm younger then you." "But -" "No but. Just sit on yours and drink your tea. I give you some time to calm down. In the meanwhile just listen to me because otherwise I'm going crazy because of my coworker! I mean yeah he's pretty funny when you know him and he sometimes is a real weirdo but boy.. oh boy you have no fucking clue how annoying he can be. If something happened to him he's going to talk about it FOREVER. If it was something bad he pouts all day and whines about it and if it was something positive he's going to brag about it. But the worst is if both happend. Like something good tuning bad. For example today he was just sitting in the corner not really working saying he was "too upset" because this really cute guy from yesterday messed up or some shit. I didn't even listen. If Yoongi continues like this I'm seriously going to kill him." "Yoongi!?" "Yeah Yoongi, my coworker. Do you know him?" "No. Nononono. NO! Just no." "Hobi what the hell is your problem?" "That's the guy from yesterday.." "What do you mean?" "I'm the one who messed up. I'm the dude he's talking about!" "Wait WHAT?" "I told you I wanted to go to that party and he -Damn it makes sense you even told me your coworker wanted to go to that party..." "Oh god what happened?" "I kinda made out with him, wanted to take him home and vomited in front of him..." "No you didn't." "Yes I did." "Oh my fucking god." "Yup.." "But look at the bright side. You at least made enough of an impression to him so he whines about it to me." "I really don't see anything positive about that." "Didn't you listen to me earlier? He called you cute and was sad that that happened because he really wanted to go home with you." "You think so?" "Yes. Because, like I said, he wouldn't shut up about it." "And now?" "What do you mean 'and now'? You'll fucking talk to him and grab that ass." "Dawon! What the fuck?" "What? I'm maybe younger then you but I'm not an innocent child. Shocking news: I already had sex." "Dawoooon... I know that but I honestly don't wanna think about it." "God, I'll give you his number and you text him." "I don't want to." "Why? You just wanna handle it as a failed flirt? You know the chances of meeting him again aren't that small." "OK... Give me his number. I'll think about it." "Good." Dawon gave you Yoongis number, you drank your now cold tea and talked a little more. The day went by fast and it was already evening again. You texted Namjoon also asking him for advice how to handle the situation but he also just suggested you to talk it out or actually ignore it and hope to never meet him again. You spend the night thinking a lot before you go to sleep.

Almost a whole week past since the night you were out and you still hadn't texted Yoongi. Dawon as well as everyone else around you who by now knew about it teased you. You were almost sure at this point even Yoongi had heared about your stupid behavior. You just came home from work and sat infront of your food. You took your phone out, opened the still empty chat with Yoongi and started typing. "Hi here is Hoseok, the guy from the party last week." You paused and read the sentence again and again, the deleted it. No that sounds stupid... You start typing again. "Hello, I don't know if you remember me but I'm the dude who wanted to fuck you and RUINED IT BECAUSE I FUCKING VOMITED!!!!!!!!!" Yeah really subtile.. definitly perfect.. Damn what should I say.. You deleted it again and took a deep breath. "Hi here is Hoseok. I got your number from my sister, Dawon. Seems like you guys are working together. I wanted to apologize for fucking up. I really can't handle alcohol well. Would be awsome if we could meet up again. Sober this time." You hit send so you wouldn't overthink everything again although you regreted it instantly. OK, now we have to wait and hope for the best. Almost immeditaly your phone was vibrating. "Took you long enough to text me. If you want we can meet up. Mh Dawon.. now that I think about t you two do look very similar. Where do you wanna meet?" OK his text was kinda rude and all over the place but sure... I don't know where.. how about the when? "Yeah I guess we do. I don't have a special place in mind but let's start with the fact when we could meet up." "How about right now?" "OK?" "Good. Meet me in 2 hours at the new mall in the city center." OK.. ok.. okokok don't panic you can do that! Yes you can. I just need to change my clothes. You ran into your bedroom, throughing your working clothes into a corner and standing there once again with a puzzled look, not knowing what to wear. You look for almost 30 minutes before you go with shorts and an oversized white shirt that you tuck in in the front. Before you rush out you put tennis socks, a cap and some random shoes on and grab your essentials. oyu arrive just in time and see Yoongi already standing there at the front door. He seems even smaller then the last time because he's wearing a wide hoodie and skinny, ripped jeans. If he wouldn't have looked into your direction you almost wouldn't have recognized him because the bucket hat he's wearing covers almost his entire face. You approach him with a big smile but he doesn't react. he just sips from the coffee he's holding. "Hi?" "Hey." "I just wanted to say sorry again. I was gross." "It's fine. Shit happens." Yoongi waves his hand, symbolizing you should follow him, what you do. You goes inside the huge building. "My coffee is almost empty. Do you mind if we go grab a new one?" "No sure." You weren't familiar with the building therefore you just trailed behind Yoongi. Both of you didn't say anything. You got nervouse because you asked for this meet up but now it's just kinda awkward. Lost in your thoughts you bump into Yoongi who came to an holt. "Watch your step." "Oh yeah sorry." You look into his face and you think you see him smile a little while he shakes his head in disbeliefe. He orders an Iced Americano while you just grab a bottle of Sprite from the little fridge. Yoongie pays for both your drinks and trails off again. You murmer a thank you and follow him silently. Yoongi walked to a little bench and set down. You two just set there sipping from your beverage. Almost 20 minutes pass when you finally say something. "Soo... Why did you want to meet here if we're just sitting around? Wouldn't a café been more effective?" "Mh. I like the coffee here. I don't visit places I'm not familiar with." "But at some point this place also was unknown to you, wasn't it?" "Mh yeah." "See so you do had to try it first. Wanna be crazy and actually go around the mall?" "You mean strolling around and buying useless stuff? No thanks." "Oh come on." You stood up and held your hand out. When Yoongi wouldn't take it you took his hand yourself and interwind your fingers. "Come on grandpa. Let's have some fun." Yoongi didn't answer but he didn't seem to complain either. When you looked at him to find out what his mood was you saw him starring at the floor. He was trying to shield his face with his hat to hide the fact he was smiling. You thought it was so adorable that he's that shy. After searching for a while you found a little store that had decor and accessoires. You dragged Yoongi inside and let go of his hand to rummage through the shelves. On a little stand in one corner there was a little pink plastice crown, you grabed it and got back to Yoongi. You snatched his hat away and replaced it with the crown. He glared at you and made his infamous pout that Dawon told you about. You couldn't help it but melt. You cup his face and coe at him. "Oh my life you're sooo cute." At a loss of words Yoongi got all shy and blushed like furious. Not thinking about it you kissed him straight away. He melted into your embrance and slung his arms around you. You two got down from cloud 9 when you heared someone behind you. "Ew damn faggots, kissing where everyone can see it. Disgusting." Yoongi looked shocked and didn't seem to dare saying something. You on the other side grew brave when you're angry. "Your face is also disgusting and nontheless do you walk around in public were everyone can see you. So as long as you don't walk around with a paperbag on your head, I'm gonna kiss whoever wherever I want." Grabing Yoongis hand again you turn around and stumb away. You aimed for the exit when Yoongi suddenly stopped you. As you turnt around you  saw him pointing to the top of his head. Just then you realized he was still wearing the crown and neither of you payed for it. Luckily there seemed no price tag to be on it or something that could have activated the alarm of the store. You just stood there not knowing what to do when Yoongi started laughing. You hadn't heared him laugh so far and it was contagious. "Damn ok, I give up. You're right I should try new stuff more often. That was fun. I mean did you see the face of that dude? He didn't expect that comeback tho. Damn Hoseok you're cool." Now you're the blushing one and you just smile at him. Yoongi stepped unexpectedly close to you and almsot whispered to you. "Say, do you want to continue were we left off?" "Are you seriously asking that? Of course!" "Then let me ask again: Your place or mine?" "I live almost an hour away from here so probably your place." "I actually also live quite far away.." "Mh.. up to some more new things?" "What do you mean?" You looked around for your destination and quickly found it. "Just follow me." You didn't expect it but Yoongi willingly took your hand in his and interwind your fingers again. He was blushing a little bit and you wanted to kiss him so badly that you hurry to get to the area where the toilets are. You go in the one for disabled people because it's a single stall and further away from the main area then the normal ones. Once both of you were inside and the door was lockes you pin Yoongi against the wall and kis him passionatly. His lips are increadible soft and his body pressed against yours feels just too good. You put one of your legs between his to fixate him in that position but Yoongi uses the opportunity to grind himself on your leg. While your lips were still connected soft moans slip past his mouth. As he was stimulating hisself you feel your own lenght hardening. Seeing Yoongi enjoying himself turns you on. You let one hand wander down to cup his ass while you slide the other on up his hoodie andplay with his nipples. It takes only a few flicks to make him fully moan. He then drops down on the floor pulling your pants down with one swift move, revealing your throbing cock.  He pumps his hand up and down and licks over the tip of your dick. Soon enough he replaces his hands with his mouth, sucking you off. "Oh fuck, You're really good." You press his head down and rock your hips forth and back. Yoongi seemed to be encouraged because he bobbs his head even faster on your dick. You were lost in the feeling of his warm and wet mouth around you when Yoongi pulled away. He slid his own pants down. "Please fuck me!" He doesn't have to ask you twice for that. You lift him up and place him on the sink. You shove two fingers in his mouth. "Lube them." While Yoongi sucks on your fingers and lets his tounge play around your fingertips you stroke his little cock.Once your fingers were wet enough you glide both of them into his ass. He grabs onto your arms and inhales deeply. You scissor his ass open, you wanted to be rough with him but not too harsh. Soon Yoongis insides were clenching around your fingers in the hope for more. That's when you replace your fingers with your cock. Yoongi moaned loud and arched his back when you entered him. You placed a hand on his mouth and hold his other hand while you push your whole lenght in. Once you were fully burried inside him you slowly start moving. Fully out and back in. You want him to feel every inch of you filling him up. After a few more thrusts Yoongi closed his legs behind you pushing you deeper. "God dammit, stop teasing and fuck me already!" "As you wish, your majesty." Yoongi was flustered but didn't take down his crown. You kissed him to keep him muffled while your hips thrust into him fast and deep. Yoongi pulls at your hair to keep you as close as possible, enjoying your embrance. The small room fills with hot air and both of you start sweating. Longing for better excess you decide to put Yoongi down and shove him face forward into the wall; fucking him from behind. You play with his niplles and watch his small penis twitch with every delecate touch of yours. You feel the tention building up inside you, so you place your arm around his waist  pulling him closer and holding him by his throat pushing his head onto your shoulder while you increase your pace. You can see Yoongis eyes roling back into his head and nothing more then a pleasured whimmer escapes his mouth. You grunt into his ear. "Do you like being fucked like that little prince?" Because Yoongi didn't answer you stopped your movement. He's being needy and trys to move on his own but you hold im thight in place. "Answer me." You place a sweet kiss on his forhead. "Yes. Yes, I love how you fuck me. Please don't stop!" Satisfied with his words you pick up your speed and thrust relentlessly into Yoongi until you come inside him. His warm walls milk your cok and he himself came almost untouched. Yoongi made a mess on the tiles infront of him. He turns around kisses you eagerly. "Wow, we definitly need to do that again in the future." "We can repeat that as often as you want. I would glady fuck your fine ass again." Feeling playful you wink at him and show him a bright smile. Yoongi hits you soft and laughs himself. "You're an idiot." "If you agree  on seeing me more often, I may be your idiot someday." "Mh.. you know, I actually kinda like the idea of that."

[jamiebluewind]

Thank You

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for being kind. I know some of you must be... annoyed that I haven't been sharing anything lately (I have too if I'm being honest), but nobody has thrown any hate at me for it and for that, I'm grateful.

I've been resting up since I got out of the hospital, a fact that has been driving me crazy if I'm being honest. Only so many hours in a day and I'm spending so many of um in the bed (doesn't help that dad fussed at me for it)! Then I tell myself that if one of you were in the same position, I'd be fussing your ear off for thinking such a thing and trying to get you to rest, so I'm trying to give myself the same courtesy.

I'm... hesitant to share what went wrong, not for embarrassment but because I don't want yall to worry. Then I realized that this post has probably already make you think far worse, so here goes...

WARNING: Blood mention, illness, body function mention, pain, menstruation, confusion, dehydration, (please tell me if I missed any!)

I got an IUD put in. I didn't want it, but my periods are bad and my insurance wouldn't cover just removing the parts before trying this first. It caused a lot of pain due to having nothing for pain, the person putting it in not knowing what they were doing, and them using silver nitrate without rinsing it off which gave me chemical burns on my cervix. I stayed in pain and they responded saying to take a tylenol and I'd eventually be fine. During this time, I bled constantly. Not a lot, but some. I also had my normal periods to deal with. I found out it was even effecting my mood and making me tired (hormones, constant cramping, or both, you be the judge). Two months in, I wanted it out. They said I just needed to tough it out and I would be fine by 6 months. I'm pretty sure my face did a thing that symotaniously screamed confusion and "fuck you", but I did as I was told.

In the meantime (during December and even now), my heater thermostat started doing something weird. I set the temp, but it would let it get down to like 55° F (12.7° C) at night when it was set on like 68 (20° C). During the day, it would get about 10° F warmer than what it was set (so like 78° F or 26° C). It was kicking on, but not regulating it how it was supposed to. I told my landlady, but they take for-freaking-ever! So out comes an electric blanket to keep me warm at night. I basically lived under the thing after the sun set! I just kept it on one or two so I wouldn't get too warm. I was also feeling crapy (*gestures to previous paragraph*), which meant more bed time than normal.

A few days before Christmas, I got a shot that was supposed to last a month and help block a nerve that causes migraines. I have debilitating hemiplegic migraines and the risk was very low, so I decided to give it a shot. The medication is very new and due to my rare form of migraine reacting atypically to medications, you would think I would know by now not to try medications that haven't been out long.

The fourth and final domino in all this was all the running due to the holiday season. I'm disabled and I have a weak immune system, but I kept pushing myself. I walked so much price shopping for things for everyone that would both mean something and not break budget (even when me left leg wanted to nope out) because Dad gave me a bit of money last minute to help me buy gifts and I only had a week. I wrapped gifts for dad and myself. I cleaned and did some baking. Then there was the driving and the great but exhausting time with family and playing catch with my youngest nephew until my arm was nearly falling off. When I eventually got back home, my whole body had this bone deep ache. Not like overworking muscles after not using them for a long time, but like I had the flu. This is on top of the cramping.

*Note: Some of the information past this point is things the medical staff told me happened, things my dad said happened, and texts*

I would get better and worse. Always worse when I first woke up (remember the blanket?). I went to dad's for a traditional southern New Year's meal. He said I was spacey, lethargic, and far more quiet than normal. My eyes had trouble focusing and I had trouble concentrating. I looked tired so, he made me sleep before driving home. I woke up about 3 am, drank a glass of water, drove home, wrote a post about it (which took entirely too long for me to write), and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up and just... laid there. I was having trouble figuring out where my body was. It just felt numbed somehow. I called my neurologist thinking it was a side effect the the drug. I'm not sure what I said, but they made me go to the ER.

I'm not sure how I drove there to be honest. I do remember somebody honking. I'm glad it was close, but still. It's a wonder I didn't get in a wreck!

I don't remember much. A yellow floor sign. A woman writing with a marker. Another woman with brown drawn on eyebrows. A machine that had a small piece of that brown first aid tape stuck to it. A name that made me think of the green emoji face (which my normal brain has yet to figure out). I had trouble talking and thinking. I remember repeating "stay still" over and over the (I think it was) several times I was instructed to, because if I didn't, I'd forget. I'm pretty sure I left my room several times. I know I went to my car once. I remember eating food, but I only recall a pineapple cup because I realized partway that I had a spoon that I could use. I kept forgetting to tell them I was hurting when they asked. I had a headache and sick stomach. I also felt so cold and my feet were like ice, but I was running a low grade fever after all.

I started feeling a little better, but the doctor still admitted me. I had a white count, but they couldn't figure out from where. I messaged a few people to let them know what was going on finding typing easier than talking. I used that to my advantage and typed out my allergies to show a nurse.

They struggled getting the IV in, even on my hand. When it finally was in I was hooked up to fluids to keep it open. More blood taken to try and figure out what was wrong. I gave them what urine sample I could which was tinted (I couldn't help it). They had already done some type of brain scan (but I didn't remember it). I kept having minor dizzy spells, but I attributed it too all the blood they took.

They kept giving me stuff, but nothing helped my headache. It wasn't a migraine, but still very nasty. I was grateful when something finally seemed to help.

My nurse came back with lots of juice to go with my super so I'd have something to drink and a container of ice water. She was new to the hospital and hung around at times just checking on me and talking. Just a nice person. It was otherwise a lot of sleeping.

The longer I stayed, the easier it was to communicate, but the tests couldn't figure out why. They ruled out seizures and a stroke. A mini stroke was highly unlikely and didn't fit. They couldn't find an infection anywhere. My white count went back to normal. They couldn't figure it out.

That was until my nurse from the previous day came back. We just talked about general things until I made a joke about the urine sample from the day before. She asked if it was clean catch and I said yes, but just barely. That ended up causing questions and her checking charts. Turns out that despite being there since the morning before, I had peed twice (with the last time hours before). She pressed on my bladder which wasn't distended. 3 bags of fluid, 3 meals (2 of which I know I ate all of), plus whatever I drank. I had been dehydrated to the point that it had caused my white count to go up and was the reason behind my confusion, lethargy, dizziness, headache, nausea, and low urine output. I was pretty surprised. I was released before lunch.

Pushing past my limits, minor medication side effects (including one long term med), staying under an electric blanket too much to stay warm (combined with exhaustion which meant longer in bed and less time awake to drink water), and pain and constant bleeding due to my IUD... all those things combined causing it to happen. I'm still... oof. Still tired. Still weak. Still recovering. Sleeping so much that the days fly by. Drinking lots of water. And otherwise doing just fine (save for my sleep schedule going to shit again). I still love my electric blanket; it's just been temporary retired until I can get myself rehydrated again. That means my other blankets are out of the vacuum bags and piled up to keep me warm ^_^

Speaking of warm, I have my very own love bug/velcro/snuggle buddy Danny who has been on me like white on rice since I got home. He's a good boy

[sylvinuk-turkey]

Today (Wednesday) was an “unplanned” day which ended up being our spa day. Gokay’s aunt knows someone who runs the spa at a local hotel, which includes a private Turkish bath experience.

I started the day with an 8a meeting, and I worked until about 11a, when we left for breakfast. Gokay had recommended two places yesterday for Turkish breakfast so today we got to try the second one. We were told it would be an hour to be seated, but between Gokay knowing Turkish and us speaking English… we got shown right to a water view reserved table. This place is literally on piers right on the water, beautiful spot and amazing food! We were so full by the end of it.

Next we called a taxi to take us to the local hotel where the spa was at. Gokay spent time with the family relation, while we got into our bathing suits. I wasn’t sure what the plan was so Carley and myself went into the private Turkish bath space, which meant we got to be “washed” first. It was a whole experience. Firstly, it’s in this room thats usually much larger and done publicly and naked (with only a towel to cover your lower privates), which is why we did it privately. All the marble is heated so it’s more like a lower temp sauna. Even if it was privately for the 4 of us, showing off our full body, to the two guys and two employees, was a little much for Carley and I so we wore bathing suit bottoms. They had Carley and I lay on towels, face-up, on the middle marble block. They started by dipping a bowl/bucket into warm water from the sink basins and covering us in it. Then they utilized a hand scrubber mitten and scrubbed us all over, literally, front then back. Once face down, and scrubbed, we were covered in a thick layer of soap bubbles and scrubbed. I didn’t know at the time how it was done but after watching it done to Gokay, basically they have a bucket with special soap, they drop a pillowcase like rag into the water, and when they pull it out they open the pillowcase and fill it with air (like you might a plastic bag). Once filled they close it with one hand, and with the other they ring out the air from their hand to the closed end of the pillowcase making a ton of bubbles. After that round of scrubbing, they soaped and massaged our heads/scalps. Now fully covered in bubbles they had us sit upright next to the wash basin and they literally poured bowls of water over our heads to fully clean us. Kind of an unexpected experience, felt a little like I was drowning because you can’t see when they’ll pour it on your head as our eyes were closed. Once fully washed, they dry your body with towels, and wrap your head and body, and take you into the other room to lay down on a lounge chair, where Carley and I talked, drank water and napped while the guys got their turn. One washed, we also had massages scheduled, Adam went first for a foot/leg massage. Then Gokay and I with a couples massage, then Carley. The massage generally was normal, and much needed. However, once laying face up, I wasn’t expecting to get a chest and stomach massage. And while he was massaging my face and neck it felt a little like I was being smothered because his hands fully covered my face. It was definitely a great experience, and due to these non-normal methods it got a lot of muscles I wasn’t expecting. Really glad it was a private bath experience.

Gokay told us the public baths are split by men and women. Women usually go to the baths so a man’s women relatives can check out his perspective bride (who could normally be fully covered, like in a burka) to see if she’s “hot.” Making me even less interested in a public bath. 🙄

Once the massage was finished, I had scheduled to meet a family friend that my dad told me about 2 days ago, but I’ve never heard about or met. We planned to me at the hotel rooftop bar for about 40 min before he had to leave for a flight. He was very nice, we talked about my Italian grandfather, and that side of the family, how he met them, and his life. He’s an executive/founder of two very well know companies in Turkey and has lived all over the world, although resides in Turkey now. Gokay and Adam came up from the spa a couple minutes before he had to go, so they got to meet him.

After he left we moved outside to the covered outdoor part of the deck. Took pictures, had couple of drinks, including water to keep hydrated. During this time Gokay was communicating with his friend who we were going to have dinner with. He ended up having a family emergency so we had to cancel our dinner reservation. We ended up going back to the Kebap place Gokay and I went the first night with his aunt and uncle. Yum! We also tried Raki, a traditional Turkish anise alcohol that you mix with water to make it change color! Sadly, I had to run back to the apt for my final “day” of work again before dessert. So they were nice and brought me back some kunefe (same dessert we had the other night).

I finished work late. So after we just cleaned up a little and went right to bed.

[myneighborhood-thelake]

Grand Canyon Rim-River-Rim, October 2019

Grand Canyon

Wednesday, October 23rd

Rim to River and Back details

4,600’ elevation gain

4,900’ elevation loss

18.2 miles

7 hours, 55 minutes clock time

6 hours, 53 minutes travel time

This included a side trip to Phantom Ranch

Route:

down South Kaibab

quick stop to put our fingers in the water

to Phantom Ranch

Back across the river

up Bright Angel

My best ideas are never what anyone would call “smart.”

Mark Markley had the idea a while back to do something really stupid.

OK, I’m listening…..

He proposed running the Grand Canyon. All of it.

From Rim down to the River up to the other Rim, down to the river again and finally back up and out to the South Rim. It’s also called Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim, and it’s something like 42 miles. You can probably guess, you are either going uphill or downill. There is no flat ground.

A bunch of us said we would do it. All of us but Mark Markley dropped out, and then Mark got injured.

Then I got laid off and needed to get the hell out of town for a couple of days. Family was up for it. United airlines was up for it (10,000 miles and $40 each way), and it wasn’t like training for distance has ever been that important to me. No, I wasn’t training for this. I think I had maybe 18 running miles since January of this year.

Whatever, I got the gear, I like to suffer. Why the hell not?

After flying with a very early departure out of SFO, I grabbed a rental car. Seriously Phoenix? Your rental car center is bigger than the Mall of America, and I was on the road, finally arriving in the town of Grand Canyon, or  whatever the hell they call it, around 3pm where I met Mark and Beth Markley at the Grand Hotel at the Grand Canyon. I also did a phone interview on the way. Unemployed means you do phone screens when they are available.

You may also notice a theme. Total lack of knowledge and thought. It’s pretty simple route - first you go down, then you come back up, so it doesn’t even really need a map. Yes, we forgot the damn map too.

That evening we did a quick recon trip to find the trailheads so we would be ready the next morning. It took us a bit to find South Kaibab trailhead which made it all the more important we did find it BEFORE the morning of. You can’t drive to the South Kaibab trailhead, so Beth waited with the car while Mark and I hoofed it in the ½ to ¾ mile to Yaki Point. When we found the actual trailhead, where the trail clearly drops into the canyon I was giddy like a 3 year old on Christmas. Practically bounced my way to the dirt and I think I said, “holy fuck man, this is it!”

I’m super eloquent like that.

So we cruised back, stopped for a pizza, and headed back to the hotel to pack. Which mainly meant Mark and I stared at our gear scattered around the hotel room and said, “I don’t know. What do you think we need to take?”

We knew the start would be cold with a forecasted low of 29F (that’s -2 for my Canadian peeps). We also knew we’d be heating up quickly on the trail. I opted for my standard coolmax sleeveless T-shirt (which I ALWAYS wear), a long sleeve duofold shirt and my Marmot Precip windbreaker along with my boony hat.

For shoes, I’d glued some velcro on a pair of crossfit shoes so my trail gaiters would stay down. I debated and debated about bringing trekking poles and finally decided to bring them. I hate trekking poles except when I need them, and these poles got a free ride to the bottom of the canyon and back up. But they were there if I needed them I guess.

3am wakeup and caffeine up. 4 am Beth drove us to the trailhead.

Seriously Beth, thank you. That was a serious crap detail to wake up with us and drive us. On the way, Mark and I complained that the temp was too high as we were seeing 32F (0 Canadian) on the Subaru’s thermometer. Beth dropped us off and the hike commenced at 0420. After just a couple of minutes we were at the trailhead and dropping into the canyon.

Within seconds we were already down several hundred feet vertical, and we were getting warm. It was probably only a ½ mile in before we decided to shed our jackets. While shedding our jackets we also decided to shed our long sleeve t-shirts and our hats. I kept my gloves on at this point, but I did stash my trekking poles in my backpack.

Down we went, switchback after switchback. Our headlamps trained on the trail ahead of us which, like all good trails, have completely random steps, and log retainers and granite slabs. Just look down and keep moving.

We didn’t have a map, and I didn’t even have a watch.

Yeah, I know. I’ve laughed at those idiots who had to be rescued because they were stupidly unprepared for reality. Oh well, just keep moving.

Somewhere about an hour in I powered through my first Rip Van Waffle, eg the stroopwaffles that you get on United flights. I think mine was snickerdoodle. I’m definitely bringing those on the next adventure. So good and just the right hit of thin waffle and honey filling.

At Cedar Point, it was still dark, and it took us a couple of minutes to find the trailhead across the clearing from the trail. Note: it’s literally directly across the clearing.

Down, down, down. Pausing occasionally to take a leak (check for urine color) or point out a headlamp either above us or below us on the trail. At some point we hit the halfway point sign. 3.5 miles to the canyon rim and 3.8 miles to Phantom Ranch.

It was cool. It was dark. We were just pushing on.

We ran for maybe 100 yards at one point, but the trail is so random it was best to just move at a steady pace. Honestly, we were pushing it even if we were “just walking.”

I was taking steady pulls off my camelbak and feeling well hydrated.

It was beginning to lighten up a bit with the sun in the west, and at some point we hit one of those amazing vistas and our first sighting of the river. Took my breath away for a few seconds.

We kept moving forward and were caught by some whippet little ultrarunner who prob weighed no more than 135 pounds. We were, of course, very polite as he went by, but after we spent a few minutes comparing him to Sean Prior who also is whippet thin and would have been much faster than us had he not broken his foot.

And then we saw the Phantom Ranch suspension bridge. And then we dropped down further and crossed the Phantom Ranch suspension bridge. Really. It was no easy downhill, but we just kept moving.

We took a brief detour to actually touch the river. You can do this entire route without actually touching the Colorado. C’mon, that would be lame.

Phantom Ranch is about ½ mile of the trail and up a canyon. This trail is the trail we would have to take to get to the North Rim, but we stopped at Phantom Ranch like the good, smart kids we are.

We’d been on trail for 3 ½ hours.

That said, I did ask Mark how pissed off Beth would be if we went ahead and did the North Rim too.

I wasn’t kidding.

I mean, it would have totally sucked, and Beth would have been HELLA pissed off, but I was thinking about it.

On the way up to Phantom Ranch we bumped into a guy who had come down the day before, was taking a rest day at the campground and would be headed up and out the next day. He was amazed that we were doing this in a day. He also mentioned that he fell pretty hard coming down because he was looking around too much. Another benefit of traveling by headlamp is that you can only see a little bit in front of you. No sightseeing.

After a short break at Phantom Ranch, I pulled my long sleeve t-shirt off again (I get cold when we stop), and we headed down towards the river, across the river and over to Bright Angel trail.

There were more people about. Bright Angel is a popular trail. As we motored along we saw a mule train behind us in the distance. One woman jogged by saying she wanted to get ahead of the mule train. Mark and I pondered picking up the pace, but thought it best to stick with our fast hike. Why waste energy now that we’d have to pay for later?

It was full sun by now, and I was wondering just how exposed the trail would be as we hiked up. You see, I had not brought any sunscreen.

There’s really not much to be said. After a mile or so we turned left and up into a notch as the upward portion of Bright Angel trail began.

We came across a couple of little creek crossings and hopped across them. They would have been full on torrents earlier in the year. We also came across a couple who were both seriously overweight, but they had packs and were making it happen. Kudos to them.

Up we went.  By this time we could see a person or two ahead of us. I use them as rabbits and try to pick them off by picking up my pace. I’m somewhat externally motivated like that.

More switchbacks, more climbing, the cliff sides blocked the sun from beating down on us.

It’s a bit of a blur. Fast walk, drink, eat (rip van waffle or espresso Gu), pee, keep walking.

Seriously. That’s all it is.

We made it to Indian Camp where we refilled our camelbak bladders.

There’s a mule ride location at Indian Camp, and we saw a couple get delivered to the camp by helicopter. Must be nice.

We also saw a mom and her 9’ish year old daughter who were hiking the canyon.

Mark had his sticks out by now for the uphill. My hands had their usual hiking induced edema and I couldn’t have held trekking poles if I wanted to. It’s really OK, because I didn’t want to.

Lot of people were coming down for the day hike, we were also cathing and passing many folks who were on their way up. Some were from an overnight at Indian Camp or elsewhere with heavy looking backpacking packs and tents and sleeping bags. Oh how I much prefer going light.

More uphill, more water drank from the camelbak, my last waffle. Trail was fairly crowded considering we had seen almost nobody on our downward trek.

We hit the 3 mile rest house (3 miles from the top) and kept going. No need to fill up on water.

By this time I thought we had a chance to finish in under 8 hours if we got to the top by noon. I know, my math was wrong, but I was feeling really good and had a ton of trail rabbits ahead of us to stoke my ego as we caught and passed them.

I’m always so damn barn sour.

Mark was feeling it by now and my ability (on a good day) to completely dissociate from the pain and tiredness in my legs was not aligning with how Mark was feeling, so we backed it down.

Bam! 1.5 mile rest house. Only 1.5 miles to go. Little did we realize, it’s a pretty darn brutal 1.5 miles. We were both surprised at how much that last 1.5 miles sucked in terms of steep trail.

Plus the short hikers were all over the trail. Folks who stay in the middle of the trail or hike 3 abreast. Thanks folks.. but MOVE!!!

And then we could see it, the buildings on the South Rim and the short tunnel through the rock at the end of Bright Angel trail. We hauled ass into the finish, weaving through a very crowded trail.

Sub 8-hours clock time (even if we did not finish at noon, I suck at trail math)

Mark had cell service, so he called Beth to swing by and pick us up - AGAIN, can I say how much Beth contributed to the success of this venture?

While we waited, I, of course, started freezing with my now soaked t-shirt, so I pulled on my long sleeve T and my jacket. Beth grabbed us in no time since she was already in the village and jetted us down to the hotel.

It’s been a rough couple of weeks, so I chose to pack up and head out to Phoenix where I had booked a super luxurious $35/night hotel room in Mesa. Why didn’t anyone tell me Mesa is not exactly close to the Phoenix airport?

It’s not. Lesson Learned.

By 6am the next morning, I was on my flight home.

Yes, I showered before my flight….

What an incredible trip and recon for doing Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim later. We learned that we can pull it off without running. We can make it happen on little to no training (that’s important for me because I don’t have any desire to actually train), and it’s a kickass adventure.

Thanks Mark!

Thanks Beth!

Start time:

4:20am - Beth dropped us off at Yaki Road and 64 (cars are not allowed onto Yaki Road, only park busses are allowed)

Took all of 10 minutes to get from the car to the trailhead

32deg temp at start

Gear

Reebok Speed TR shoes

Joe trailman gaiters

pair of Injinji socks and pair of Under Armor socks

compression shorts

Prana shorts

Nike sleeveless T

duo fold long sleeve shirt

Marmot precip jacket

pulled off jacket

decided to pull off the duolfold long sleeve  too! didn’t need it

Food:

Carried 4 Rip Van Waffles, 2 Dutch Vanilla caramel, 2  snickerdoodle

3 Vanilla bean Gu, 2 Espresso Love Gu

2ea 2 3/4oz Lays potato chips

Food that I Ate:

all of the Rip Van Waffles (8) - those things ROCK

the 2ea Espresso Love Gu’s that I had, but not the Vanilla Bean Gu’s

1 bag of Lays potato chips

A couple of Tum’s and 3ea ibuprofen somewhere on Bright Angel, but no thermotabs, I think I did the meds at Indian Camp

Water:

carried 100oz camelbak bladder

refilled at Phantom Ranch (was still about 1/2 full)

refilled at Indian Camp on Bright Angel (was still about 2/3 full)

Was maybe ½ full when we finished the hike

temps were very cool, stayed cool through the day

mostly trail was in the shade which was good

Next time BRING SUNSCREEN!!!

I got lucky and did not need sunscreen today, but if I had needed it I would have been roasted.

[benjamingarden]

This Month On The Farm: December 2020

  And just like that December is over.  Happy new year to all of you!  2020 was a bit of a crazy ride but all-in-all, for us, it was quite alright.  While we didn't have a great year financially, we really can't complain.  We learned that we could tighten our already tight financial belt even more.  With that it ensured our bills are paid, we have food in our pantry and freezers, the animals are very well taken care of, our business survived, and we had more time to spend on things we weren't finding time to get done in previous years.  

Please know that I am not trying to be insensitive to those who had tragic outcomes in 2020, rather, we are trying to focus on what went well for us.  On that same note I am super grateful we had made the decision not to move our business off of our farm so our overhead was limited.  We had struggled with that decision since we started the business and just about a year and a half ago made a final decision that we would not grow the business any larger than what we could handle ourselves in the space we've got.  

the mound on the left of this photo is my Jeep Grand Cherokee....

Well, Jay had been complaining that it didn't feel like Christmas a couple of weeks prior.  He said that because we didn't have snow he just wasn't feeling it.  Sooooo....I blame him completely for the 3 feet that were dumped on us shortly before the big day.  Yup - he is the one you can blame as well if you'd like.  It took a full 2 days to complete our snow removal - paths, deck, porches, and roofs and, since he does most of it, he was exhausted by the time it was done.  Of course he didn't much appreciate my singing of Christmas songs as we suited up to head outside for each round of shoveling or snow blowing.  Clearly he doesn't always appreciate my enthusiasm or talents.

Christmas was quiet, as it was just the two of us and the critters, so I made some special meals and treats to celebrate the day.  We basked in the hum and warmth of the pellet stove, binge watched the new season of Virgin River on Netflix, drank mugs of hot cocoa with extra marshmallows, and enjoyed a peaceful and relaxing day together.

And then Saturday I deemed a "no cook" day.  We had simple breakfasts, leftovers for lunch, and frozen pizza for dinner.  I did throw chicken wings in the air fryer for Jay's dinner as well, but it's no more difficult then throwing frozen pizza in the oven.  It was perfect.

Oliver & Jackson -  Let's start with updates on Mr. Oliver.  We took him to his consultation for alternative treatments to help keep him comfortable with his multiple herniated discs.  First, let me tell you that he had to finish up a round of a steroids in December and I am SO HAPPY it's over.  My goodness that boy was constantly starving!!  Steroids increase hunger and thirst and if he wasn't ravishingly hungry he was drinking a ton.  My day was spent feeding him, filling up his water bowl, and taking him out to go to the bathroom.  Repeat.  I also decided after the first morning of his poor bladder being so incredibly full he was clearly uncomfortable, that I would get up at 2a.m. every night to take him out to pee.  I did this until that darned steroid was out of his system.  I felt so bad for him.  He absolutely will not go potty in the house so he holds it despite the discomfort it causes.

His doctor decided that acupuncture and laser therapy were not necessary as of yet, so we purchased a therapy loop that she recommended to give him electromagnetic therapy at home.  She's hoping this will help keep the inflammation down for a while.  Eventually we will add in the other 2 therapies when needed.  He also has some stretches we do daily to keep his little body limber. 

He is not allowed to run, jump, etc. and we are keeping his walking to a minimum which is what the remainder of his life will be.  He is happy, seems to feel pretty good (we have to hold him back from trying to run, jump, etc.), and takes nice long naps so all seems to be well at the moment.  He will turn 11 in January and I think he's definitely feeling his age.

And then there's Jackson.  Actually, he's doing well.  He's the same - bratty but handsome, and is still loving his new routine of going to bed in his very own bedroom.  He LOVES taking his Rescue Remedy every night.  I have no idea why.  I do have to make sure the room is always "Jack-proofed" because he gets into anything and everything during his 7-8 hours of alone time.

In The Coop - We have EGGS!!!!  Jay is so happy.  Although we aren't getting many, at least we are getting an egg or two each day as of a week ago.  He's still rationing his use since he's not fully confident we will get them daily, but that will change soon I'm sure.

The Coop Girls are doing well.  They dislike the colder temps and absolutely detest that beautiful white snow.  When we leave their coop open they get so excited to run out and that lasts all of about 3 minutes.  Once they realize that there is snow everywhere except for their coop they return to their outdoor coop.  There's usually a lot of chatter after this is attempted each morning.  I suspect it's a bit of disappointment being shared amongst the flock.

Whole Wheat Honey Oat Bread

In The Kitchen - I've been making this recipe for Whole Wheat Honey Oat Bread (by King Arthur Flour) and we've been enjoying it.  If you happen to have any maple sugar lying around it is perfect in this bread.  I substitute out most of the white a/p flour with white whole wheat flour but other then that I follow the recipe exactly.  It's a fairly dense, sweet, and moist loaf that is perfect for morning toast or a sandwich where a slightly sweet bread would work.

I also made up a few batches of bean burgers (using 3 different recipes as guides) to store in the freezer for quick meals.  And as a surprise snack one day I made a batch of DELICIOUS Honey Butter Popcorn (it's good with or without the nuts).  If you add a touch of salt it's almost like a kettle corn (without the nuts) or cracker jacks (with the nuts) but not cloyingly sweet.  I altered it slightly by using a non-dairy butter and about 10-12 cups of popped popcorn (it calls for 6 cups) so it wasn't too sweet.  It was good even days later.

I also discovered a recipe for vegan Amaretti Cookies.  They are gluten free as well but the recipe does use refined sugar.  They are really good.  My husband (the anti-vegan) loves them.  After he ate 2 I told him they are almond flour and aquafaba.  After explaining what aquafaba was he said "why did you have to go and tell me there's chickpeas in my cookies???"  (Of course aquafaba is the chickpea cooking liquid not the beans, he was being dramatic)  I told him because I'd promised that I will always tell him what's in food he tries and never hide ingredients.  But I tell him AFTER he's tried the recipe of course!  😁  (p.s. mine look more like snowball cookies because they didn't crack but they were still delicious!)  He ate quite a few more over the course of a couple days and has requested them for this week's dessert.  So I guess he likes them!

What I've Been Reading - I haven't read as many books over the past month but I did read a few good ones. (affiliate links)

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine: A Novel by Gail Honeyman - this was a very different book for me to read but it was written so incredibly well.  A word of caution that it does deal with child abuse but it really is brilliant.  It's tragic, sad, funny, and enlightening.

The Twelve Dates Of Christmas: A Novel by Jenny Bayliss - apparent from the title it's a rom-com and a very well written debut novel.  I really liked the main characters and the little twists and turns of the story which is set in England.

The Clause In Christmas: A Poppy Creek Novel by Rachael Bloome - honestly, I really didn't think I would like this book.  I guess I thought it would be a bit too cheesy.  Quite surprisingly I enjoyed it (not cheesy at all).  It was light, the events were predictable, but I liked the characters and the storyline and it was a fun read.  It's the first of a series of five.

That's what happened around here in December!

This Month On The Farm: December 2020 was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

[shytiff]

Small Nov Wins

1 - cant bring myself to study, got out of bed 10:30-ish am. While lazing around i read royal servant and do random internet stuff and watched romee's vlogs. Ate breakfast and i somehow has no appetite?? This is rare. e, cicil kompre began at 15:30 pm (i know, i waste my time a lot). Pengumuman wahana mpi wow yay kalideres makara and budi asih

2 - the weather was pleasantly cloudy. poli anestesi anak, simul. went to what used to be calais, its called flavola now. at this point i quite need some calories because i only ate bubur ayam and its like 2-3 pm ish. Eventually the hunger is gone, arrived home at about 4-ish, drank protein to curb my hunger (nanggung dinner). dad said sumn that annoyed me so after maghrib i just lazed in bed, not feeling like doing anything (even though there’s lots of exams and hw lmao), fell asleep

3 - woke up at 2 am, prated, randomly searched for angel - chancellor and taeyeon’s lyrics and i basically wept at 4 am. i assumed the song was just like,,, a guy talking to a girl, his angel, you know. EXCEPT,,,,,,,,. the 2 MVs was also rly222 beautiful 🥺. Poli geriatri today, didnt even see patient because there was no more at that time (status salin nadia). ate ichiban salad (surprisingly quite good) at dm bcs i rly do be functioning better outdoors, made matcha latte with full cream milk ((powder)), cicil PT

4 - can finally wake up late. finished 1 sitasi pt, made ikk ppt, bujing lina called about diarrhea and nausea meds, laddered the leader for tomorrow’s exam and it,, was,,, me,, group call with shiko. frantically studied for EA

5 - PT (finished in 45 mins), simul as a leader, with STEMI, VF and hypoglycemia case. somehow made it through. i suck at dosages omggg. PP by car with mom (not rly that tired) but i SLEPT after i got home and had no mood to study helpppp

6 - did my first swab test today. i pushed the doctors hand when she’s doing oropharyngeal swab im sorryyyy 😂. slept. matcha. cicil kompre

7 - still havent finished ikk (deadline: today), and still havent studied for geri and ikk AND i still managed to take a nap. why. Read a bit of kompre. Not sleepy after matcha, but insted i reread bj alex and tsubaki chou lonely planet until 2 am the next day #rippriorities

8 - im having matcha latte seven days in a row as of today :))))) woke up at 10:30 am, went to flavola with atikah and got strawberry yakult (tasted like es mony), arrived home at abt 7-ish am and there no dinner, so i drank protein and ate japota honey butter. My breakfast was chicken porridge, so my diet is sooo liquid today. Rip proper nutrition (ate buryam, lumpia, japota for the whole day and drank 3 beverage). Cicil kompre and studied geri

9 - suma geri, slept, cicil kompre, ny head kind of hurts

10 - my head still hurts, suma ikk with dr herqu and dr retno, didnt take swab result by car because the TRAFFIC in soetta so my brother took it. Thankfully negative.

11 - lulus kompre alhamdulillah, the examiner were Prof Saptawati and dr. Dani from THT. Dr dani still remembered me :"") they were very kind. Went to tamel for first wahana: klinik makara UI. Picked up masker first at mahmudas place, and then went to depok. On the way i was interviewed by maba 2020 wtf im so old. Cleaned up my room with the fam, printed sumn in barel (its quite empty there)

12 - first day at klinik makara ui. i WALKED. such wow. fixed my shoes in kutek. had breakfast in barel and bahari for lunch-dinner. somehow i felt very drained. bought Dapur Alya (nutella and regal) and 2 salads from Salad Point since there was 11.11 promo. Put all of them in the fridge. Read Fools and its sooo good omg

13 - had salad and left over bahari rice for brekkie. went to clinic by grabbike :)))), had my first teleconsultation experience today, a chemical trauma case. suma ea with the help of shiko

14 - woke up at 5:20 ish and i jogged a bit at ui lmaoo. fisip - ft - fisip. By 6:30 im already back at my room. 1 hour can be spent a lot of different ways, it turns out. Washed my clothes. Ate monstercheese pizza. Slept a bit. Went to blok m with ara (she was late as always, surprised her with koi milk tea), ate futago ya (greasy cheesy milky goodness, enak tapi eneg afterwards), bought red bean bread at la mouette, bought discounted onigiri bento box at papaya. We went to m bloc space, looked around, ate gelato at kebunide (blueberry: yum, fresh, kiiinda feels artificial, salted caramel: delicious but makes me thirsty) and did photobox at connectoon. Walked to mrt asean but turns out!! for weekends mrt is closed at 8pm. Took grabbike to sudirman, seeing the pretty city and people just hanging out, playing skateboards on the wide sidewalks.

15 - planned to go jogging with salemba frens but i woke up late (06:45), so i just lazed around. Ate onigiri bento (super worth it for 25k for the proteins), fell asleep again 10ish to 14:30 lmaoo. The doms from yesterday was present even on the right side of my lower back 🙂 the red bean bread made me feel full, and the red bean was not too sweet, which i love. Reviewed some meshwork materials i missed. Fianti called and we talked abt her and hari

16 - had mujigae for sahur and fish bite for iftar. The fish was not as soft as fish streat, but the flour was definitely better and crunchy. But it doesnt have the seasoning micin like fish streat do. The pasta was quite a lot im in food coma afterwards. Fell asleep, and my stomach was so gassy that i woke up in the middle with a headache that does not play around. Fortunately it dissapeared in the morning

17 - breakfast is rice kimchi and abon lmaoo just pretend it makes sense. The scrubs i ordered finally arrived. I fell asleep AGAIN, WHYYYY. Lost my streak in DL, i guess i can stop using it for now.

18 - finished reading blood link, girlll i thought the human died at the end. Did not buy food today wow. Took a nap and cicil kompre.

19 - brekkie at barel. Helped measuring antropometry today at clinic, and also measured my own. The fucked up thing was that i THOUGHT my body fat is still at 28% compared to the past (dr rina's research). So i looked at the old paper AND. I USED TO HAVE. 35% FAT 🙂 even my memories are in denial and are fooling me. All this time i thought i was at 28 🙂 did swab at rsui. The one swabbing was from fkui 2012 and we had small talk. It hurted more than lmk :( now this does feel like drowning in water (cause before i said "nah its not like water in nose"). Took angkot back to tamel, bought piscok lumer pocin and its soooo gooood ugh

20 - i feel like if i have breakfast with leftover rice and abon and sozzis i get hungry faster lmaoo. Ordered ken karaage from kukusan, yaa okela for 25k with ongkir. Did online posbindu education through wa. BTS BE COMEBACK 🥺 i maximized my wifi time (no wifi at tamel) so i listened to the whole album. My mobile data is at 200MB lol. Read a good longreads from the atlantic, about down synd and genetic screening. The writing is so so good im just blown away. And teary eyed.

21 - ran a bit, solid class (gastro, rheum, infection), embryo, webinar about sleep by dr Gita Anindyajati, SpKJ, bought ayam geprek gold chick (lotsss of oil since i ordered tempe, jamur, egg, bought pop cookies. matcha cheese was actually better than i expected (the combination somehow fits), dark chocolate and marshmallow is very chocolatey like mom’s brownies, and vegan strawberry cookie with a hint of mint. i wonder how they replace the egg. I wonder why after i run i dont feel hungry for a moment. bloating just gooes away

22 - joined kris' healthy weekly event (lmao) in tamsur. They went to epiwalk first. Its difficult for me to run w mask, ngl. Went back to tamel, embryo, ate leftover meal from gold and chick, felt somehow drained to the bone so i just laid in bed and lazed and lazed. Theres no soreness, but the weakness was generalized lmao. Ordered bbq chicken almond salad from salad point, it was actually quite fulfilling and delishhh (added chili sauce to the dressing). Literally laid in bed from 7 until i fell asleep and woke up at 6 the next day. Finished readin shame application lmao

23 - i still feel tired ckckck. No doms, but i feel like i just want to lay down. got DV patient today at clinic, its most likely derm numularis??? Ate salad and dark choco marshmallow cookies in the evening and that cookie. Is so damn sweet im just thinking about the increase in my blood sugar. And i like sweets so!!! Never thought id find sumn too sweet. Washed my clothes and cicil ukmppd (i put things about studying ukmppd in habitica now)

24 - ate tanoshi sushi and ufo ramen for bfast, ate the sushi again for lunch and after waking up from my sleep i tried kokku ramen (so so, but the egg yolk's good)

25 - bfast: superbubur, protein shake and cookies. (did not make me feel full long enough). Ordered burger from EATG (so so, burger bener is better) for lunch. Last day at makara ui. Ara arrived coz shes staying here in tamel. Waiting for mom to arrive from cibubur, she arrived at about 20:30. I passed out at home

26 - first day in pkm kalideres, i volunteered to be pj to avoid RSUD. my room is a mess, i feel tired after i go back. maybe its the physical withdrawal (?) because i dont walk like when im on klinik makara. came to pkm thinking i wont do anything (orientation only) but the 6 of us ended up going. i was at igd. i saw nail extraction and injected ats for another patient 

27 - talked for almost an hour with the doctor at poli lansia. went home, felt sooo tired, i slept and actually showered after maghrib. originally planned to go to sbux but i was just tired af. my mood was horrible at home. 

28 - turns out i started my period today. i havent studied at all during pkm kalideres era. embryo. slept again. read some manga by nishin something with the psychological and BL genre. 

29 - embryo. cut my hair, showered, and felt better. fell asleep on dr gita's lecture. Drank cimory banana milk with a bit of matcha powder. I dont know if its the sleep, or a bit of caffeine, but my mood feels better and im more awake. Cicil ukmppd with a slow pace. Read itasaku ff. Slept at about 2 am

30 - surprisingly, i dont feel sleepy when i wake up. poli anak today, surprisingly i got perinatology case (jaundice). presented it on pleno. for bfast i ate 3 slice of bread (2 with meat and cheese, 1 choco and cheese) and protein shake, lunch: a slice of choco cheese bread and a banana, fell asleep, dinner: 1 bakwan, a banana and nextar. i can feel that the calories i got today is even less than what i usually got (and usually i already try to limit calories that i am counting the intake amout and made sure im not too far from my bmr lmaoo (~1100)

[suckitsurveys]

Are you currently wearing anything red? I have a tiny red bow on my underwear.

Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Nope.

What would you say is the most disgusting thing you’ve ever tasted? Capers.

What was the last food you got a random craving for? I don’t remember.

Has anyone/anything made you angry recently? Yes, always.

Who did you last go to the cinema with? My niece earlier this year to see Moana.

What was the last song that got stuck in your head? How Far I’ll Go from Moana is now stuck in my head thanks to the previous question haha.

When was the last time you listened to it? It’s been a while.

Who was the last person to say something thought-provoking? I have no idea.

On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? My friend Mary’s birthday was yesterday. Also America’s.

How old were they? 37.

What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I have no idea, I have to plan meals for the rest of the week at some point today.

Is your best friend in a relationship? Lydia and Sarah both are in relationships. Randal is not.

How old were you 5 years ago? 22/23.

What is something you enjoy doing, but aren’t good at? Singing, I guess.

Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘C’? The temp Creighton.

What colour are that person’s eyes? I have no idea.

Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Veggies!

What is your favourite Studio Ghibli film? I guess Spirited Away.

Do you have a favourite hair accessory? What does it look like? Just good ol’ fashioned hair ties.

What’s your favourite type of insect? Lighting bugs.

What’s your LEAST favourite type of insect? Earwigs.

Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? Stephanie.

What’s his/her favourite food? I’m not sure. I’ll ask her next time I see her.

Did you have a good day yesterday? What did you do? Yes! We had a 4th of July bbq and ate a bunch of burgers and drank yummy drinks and jello shots and had a bonfire going and lit some sparklers and Stephanie’s friend brought actual fireworks and I got to light a couple!

When was the last time you went to a fancy dress party? I don’t know if I have ever been to a party you would call “fancy.”

Who/what did you dress as? ^

What genre was the last film you watched? Did you like it? Comedy, and yes.

Have you made a sandwich today? What did you put on it? I am actually going to make a sandwich for lunch. If sloppy joes count as sandwiches that is.

If your best friend was a fictional character, who would he/she be? Why? A mix of Gayle from Bob’s Burgers and Liz Lemon from 30 Rock. Because she’s basically both of them already.

Do you remember the last time you overheard part of a random conversation? I can overhear my coworkers talking in the other room.

Did it make you feel awkward? Nope.

What were you doing at 10 o'clock this morning? This, haha.

How many vowels are there in your first name? One, but it’s repeated twice.

What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you? No idea.

What flavour was the last cupcake you ate? Stephanie’s friend made brownies in a cupcake pan for the party yesterday. They were fudge with M&Ms in them.

When was the last time you complimented a stranger? I don’t remember.

What’s your favourite milkshake flavour? Vanilla.

Have you had an interesting or amusing dream recently? Eh.

Do you know how old your favourite actor is? She just turned 33 I believe.

Is there anything worrying you right now? Getting back on a healthy eating plan.

If so, have you talked to anyone about it? Mark. Is there anything you desperately want, that you can’t have? To lose 30lbs in like 2 weeks.

When will you next see your best friend? When Lydia comes back from vacation; when Sarah comes to Chicago/Wisconsin for my wedding celebration; when Randal is free again.

Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? We have to go to dad’s to stay over with my grandmother for the next 10 days and I don’t want to fucking do that.

What’s the age difference between your parents? My father is older by 2 years.

You can only have one flavour of ice-cream for the rest of your life. Which do you choose? Butter pecan.

Are there any foods you’ve been craving, or eating a lot of, just recently? I’ve been eating so many burgers lately.

When was the last time you wanted to do something, but didn’t do it? I want to tell off my brother in law so bad.

Why did you choose not to do it? I have to work with him and I don’t want it to effect the relationship I have with my sister.

When was the last time you ate an apple? A couple of weeks ago.

What’s the nicest thing your best friend has ever said to you? They say a lot of nice things.

Have you ever experienced a hangover? Yes, currently. Oops.

What was the last food or drink that you tried for the first time? Some sort of Bosnian sausage yesterday, I forget the name of it.

Did you like it? I did! I was a little weary of it because it’s apparently made with veal, but I took one for the team and it was really good. I probably wouldn’t seek it out to eat on my own though.

What is your least favourite pizza topping? Pineapple. Fight me. Also I don’t like green peppers or onions on my pizza. But I do like all three of those things off pizza.

What do your friends think of the person you’re currently interested in? Everyone seems to love Mark and they all say he’s perfect for me. :)

Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter ’S’. Salsa!

The last time you hung out with your sibling(s), what did you do? My sister came to my housewarming party a couple weeks ago.

Who was the last blue-eyed person you spoke to? Good question.

Is there a person you’d like to speak to right now? I wish Mark was awake to discus food with me.

Why that person, specifically? ^

When you woke up this morning, what was on your mind? I woke up at 4:30 with a bad tummy ache, so that.

At this moment, what are you most looking forward to? Weddinggggg.

Do you have any scented candles in your home? What scent(s)? I have a honeysuckle one in the kitchen and a vanilla one in the living room. We also have two wax burners that both have coconut in them

Are you planning any special outings with family or friends? Yes, in September my friends and family and I are going to the Dells to an indoor waterpark to celebrate me and Mark’s wedding.

Who were the last 3 males you talked to? Eric, Creighton, and Tony. Coworkers.

Do you ever wear lipstick? What colour(s) do you prefer? Nope.

If you have a pet, when did you last pet him/her? This morning when she crawled on me.

Do you have a favourite Celine Dion song? My Heart Will Go On, naturally.

Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter ‘C’. Crab legs.

Does the person love/like have a car? What colour is it? Nope, he uses my car, which is silver.

Have you ever received a compliment on anything you’re wearing? On something currently? I get compliments on my Pusheen sweatshirt constantly.

Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? Yes, my green tea latte.

What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? A French Martini.

Did you like it? Yes I did.

Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? I have not.

The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you? 5 years older.

When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? I refuse to stop referring to my brother in law as a temp even though he asked me to because that’s what he fucking is.

What’s your favourite feature of the person you’re currently interested in? His face is nice. And his arms. And pretty much all of him.

How many people have you hugged today? 0.

Do you have a favourite hair colour or eye colour on your preferred sex? Nah.

Do you remember the first CD you ever bought? Tragic Kingdom from No Doubt.

Is there anyone on your mind atm? Nah.

The last song you listened to - does it remind you of anyone? Didn’t you ask this?

Is your birth year an odd or even number? Odd.

Have you eaten any of your favourite foods today? Nope.

What did you have for lunch yesterday? I didn’t have a legit lunch. I had some Chex mix and a bloody mary, haha.

Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? What’s their sign? I’m not sure actually. She told me her birthday but I’m blanking. Maybe it says it on her Facebook. March 6th, which would make her a Pisces.

How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Just the one.

What are your parents’ middle names? Irvin and Kay.

Are your eyes the same colour as your sibling’s? Yes.

How many pets do you have? Would you like any more? One kitten. I would like 17 more kittens.

Do you prefer still or sparkling drinks? I don’t like sparking water, if that’s what you mean.

Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? Not really.

Did you have a strange or interesting dream last night? Is it just me or is they survey repeating a lot of questions? I may still be stuck on the survey I took before this one though.

Which friend do you confide in most? Ellen and Kayla, usually.

Who was the first male you talked to today? What colour are his eyes? This is definitely a few surveys smushed together, but oh well. <--Ahh, see I knew something was fishy with this survey.

Are you wearing any accessories in your hair? Describe them: Nope. I actually just took it out of a ponytail a minute ago.

When was the last time you felt ill? What was wrong? This morning, my stomach is feeling weird.

If given the chance, would you change anything that’s happened today? ^

Who was your first best friend? Do you still speak to that person? I guess some girl named Liz in grade school. I have her on facebook and we kinda still talk but not really.

Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you? I love my middle name. I think it’s super interesting.

Are you wearing anything that was given to you as a gift? My dad bought me this shirt in Arizona. And my engagement ring was technically a gift?

Have you received any compliments about your appearance today? Nope.

Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Nah.

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you text messaged? Nope.

What colour is your shampoo bottle? Clear.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Nah. She’s cute but other than that, nothing.

Do you have any ice-cream in your freezer? What flavour is it? Nope.

Have you spoken to any of your neighbours today? Yeah, Stephanie is my neighbor and the person I mentioned two questions above.

[guardiandae]

OKAY it’s time for that write up about my trip to Boston

aka Why I’m Glad I’m Still Alive and also Dae Makes Bad Life Choices And Needs To Be Grounded :c 

(long, long post)

okay so, my friend H takes a trip down to Boston every year to visit her friend D who goes to college there. She invited me to go a few days beforehand, and as luck would have it I managed to arrange to have Friday & Saturday off work, and Sunday closing shift, so I could make it down there and back.

Of course, I had a runny nose and stuff beforehand... and then the night before (Thursday night, I think) I had a really hard time at work bc I felt feverish... I got home and my temp went up from 99.6 (which is already 100% a fever for me, my temp runs low) to 101.3 during the night. I kept waking up every three hours, and I had to get a bag of ice to press against my head. I went to bed early but slept in longer than I expected so I got like 13 hours of sleep and felt a lot better in the morning, aside from a sore throat. Actually, my throat does this fun thing where from time to time, it will close up on me and I can’t breathe. It can happen even from drinking water. So I took cough syrup and my throat closed up. Yikes. No more cough syrup for me, just cold & flu tablets! I can’t remember the other incident, maybe I drank something harsh, but I remember it did that twice, two times in two days. So, yeah. Gotta be careful what I drink with this sore throat.

Friend wants me to spend Friday night at her house so we can leave at 3am Saturday. So I go to H’s house, with her boyfriend T. My throat is like, raw as fuck. We hang out, they pack, and we all take a nap before we leave. I get like another 3 hours of sleep, then we all get up and hit the road.

We pick up T’s friend, S.  My friend H keeps trying to hook me up with S despite the fact that I am 1. gay 2. asexual 3. not interested in douchebags. And she’s been teasing me about the fact that, S and I will have to share a bed at the hotel. My god. Mind you, the plan she has in Boston is to take me to a strip club and I’m like, sdgkdfkgjd. No? Maybe. No.

We stop at a gas station and I get myself a big powerade for my RAW AS FUCK throat. Swallowing is seriously painful at this point. My friend swaps seats to sit beside me in the back, so now T and S are in the front. THEY FUCKING START CHAINSMOKING ALL THE WAY DOWN. So they have their windows cracked, freezing cold air pouring in, secondhand smoke making my eyes water and lungs burn, all the way down. Maybe at most they would stop for two minutes and then, boom, another FUCKING cigarette. On top of that, they listened to really gross rap music on the way down, like violent, sexually-explicit, drug-endorsing songs that were just honestly annoying lyrics aside, total crap, lol.

My friend and I show each other memes (she pronounces it me-me and I think it’s too funny to correct her) all the way down. We arrive at her friend D’s campus at about 6am. He has keys to all the buildings and has to make rounds, so we’re going to walk with him all across his campus.

D is a really interesting dude. My friend H told me, “he’s a bible-thumper” beforehand and I was like, eh. great. But he’s this 40-ish year old guy going to a religious college studying to be a minister. He’s super friendly and considerate as soon as we meet him. It’s 6am in January, fairly warm considering the time of year, but I’m still in just my hoodie and SICK, so while I was kind of excited for the experience, my body is so not. We’re going from building to building, up flights of stairs and back down again, and I am wheezing. My voice is pretty rough at this point too.

But let’s talk about the school, and the setting, because... I love it.

In Maine (my state) the trees here are mostly pines, maples, oaks, etc.

But in Boston, I’m not sure what kind of trees they might be, but my gosh. It’s a grey, chilly day (my favorite weather 100% honestly, too bad I was sick) and the trees are bare. Their branches are all twisted in different directions, like the fingers on an old man. Ever seen those kind of forests from creepy horror movies? They are just like that and it’s absolutely gorgeous. Most of the buildings on campus are very old, so some of them still have old fashioned latches, like the thumb-latches in my grandfather’s house.

The other thing I really loved about the campus, is that the students attending are actually very liberal and diverse, despite the religious focus. As D put it later, the other three people in our group, H, T, and S, doubled the population of straight (and cis) students by being on campus. Haha.

Anyway, I survive running around campus, and then we head down to catch the Green Line subway into town. At this point, I really wish I had realized we were going to be gone from the car for several hours, because I would've at least grabbed my hat. :c

This is the first time I've ever been on anything like a subway and I'm so glad that we had D with us to be our guide, because it was so confusing. The car was packed with people because of the Women's March going on. I don't know how this compares to other subways, but this went pretty fast and had a lot of hills and turns, and with every change in momentum I'm hanging onto the rail for dear fucking life trying not to fall over. My friend H has a lot of anxiety, especially around crowds of people, and riding this subway itself, so she is SHAKING and trying really hard to just hold on and get through the ride, and so am I. We get off a big station and decide to go up and walk the rest of the way instead of waiting for the next car, because my friend and I are curious to see the march going on.

We ended up walking around a lottt down all of these different side streets. H, T and S wanted to find a big tall building to go all the way to the top floor and take pictures, so we kept trying to enter different buildings at random, and most of them were locked and one we were politely told to leave, lol.

The whole walking around event was kind of more random than planned... we ended up at Bruins arena which I think was my friend's only actual goal, so she could buy her brother a gift. We saw tons of protesters everywhere and I got one of the pink hats from a nice lady who brought extras. But after that, our wandering was pretty aimless. We headed towards Boston market (still trying to find tall buildings) and accidentally stumbled onto the Holocaust memorial.

H and I were like 'oh... damn' and of course, I had to go in. The memorial consists of four towers made of panes of glass, with steam inside rising up. When I walked into the first one, the panes of glass had quotes from survivors of the Holocaust written on both sides in side, and on every single pane of glass, going up to the sky, there were the serial numbers the nazis tattooed onto people. I took a few pictures, but once I entered that first tower I put my phone away because it just didn't feel right. We walked through and read each quote... I was trying not to cry because the two guys with us (D excluded) were pretty douchey and I wasn't sure they even would, y'know, care. But when I read one of the quotes about the homosexuals being put into the death camps, I definitely cried and I was like, yeah. This is why we fight. This is why we can't stop fighting.

When we left, H was pretty shaken too (the quotes about children were the ones that got to her the most, I think) and D suggested that we head to the farmer's market to try to lighten up the mood. While we were walking there, S decides to ask a question, in a suspiciously condescending tone of voice, "I wonder what the founding fathers would think about all of this."

The rest of us were like, ???  "Think about what?"

S: "You know, the protests that are going on right now."

Guys, my voice was half gone but you know I clapped back.

"They'd probably think that they're exercising their CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS??? What do you think the founding fathers did against the British???"

Then he said something about how, people keep pushing and pushing for more rights, and he thinks that's a bad thing because it just ends up dividing people into more and more different groups and takes away rights from others. At this point I was like, HOLY SHIT, this fucking white boy is one of those people who thinks that EQUAL RIGHTS means his rights are somehow being TAKEN AWAY from HIM. Like, you DO realize that my great-great grandmother and your great-great grandmother didn't have the fucking right to vote??? and in MY lifetime, I had to go fucking vote on my  right to get MARRIED??? It didn't take away SHIT from poor helpless straight white men, it just GAVE more people the SAME FUCKING RIGHTS. HOLY FUCK.

So anyway we headed on to the market area, checked out the Newbury Comics store and I was exciiited bc I found a cute pair of knee-high socks to buy (my new aesthetic). But while in pursuit of my knee-highs, I wandered too close to the Dick's bar, and at this point everyone was ready to drink/eat and had been searching for a bar for a while. There were sooo many to choose from, including really nice looking Irish bars, and historic old bars, which I actually wanted to check out. But which bar did we go to? The fucking cock-themed bar.

They ordered drinks. I just sat by them kind of uncomfortably bc everything is not only "I love dicks" but the mascot is a sleezy overweight balding man and the waitress makes fart jokes. Like. For real. But I'm watching the tv, making small talk with D (who is awesome) and H, while S and T get drinks and fries. Some guy brings his CHILD into this establishment, and is apparently very familiar with their theme bc he plays right along with the waitress's fart jokes like he sees her every Saturday or something. What the hell. Then the party at the opposite end starts putting on these huge condom hats made out of white paper. I can hear a child crying on the other side, maybe the same kid. Why the fuck. And then the waitress starts kind of badgering ME now, like, "Why are you just sitting there without a drink?" I tell her, in my really hoarse voice, "If I have any alcohol I'm pretty sure I will stop breathing" and she's just like "Well it's not like you can't have a water or a juice"  (me: where the fuck is there water or juice advertised ANYWHERE on this shitty menu??? also the food was ridiculously overpriced otherwise I would've been happy to order >_< )  and then I look over and realize that, S has already had two beers, but he JUST ordered a fucking THIRD. Now I'm angry and I tell my friend I don't wanna sit in this (shitty) bar all day, so I'm going to head to the comic store again.

Comic store is right across the street.... but... I'm legitimately pissed off right now, so as soon as I step outside I'm like, actually, lol, fuck off, bye, I'm gone.

And I just keep walking, back the way we came in. I sit down at a bench for a while, half thinking that D or H had followed me, but nobody had. So I'm like, cool, and contemplating actually buying a train ticket home if I had to. But I'm sick as fuck and my legs are killing me and my lungs are wheezing and it's cold and I know that no train goes all the fucking way home, so I'm like, :)))

I decided to go and see something that *I* wanted to see so I looked at my phone and saw the Samuel Adams statue was nearby. They texted me "where are you" and I told them Sam Adams (of course, knowing them they probably looked for a damn bar). But I got lost getting to the statue, lmao, bc it was RIGHT BESIDE ME and I was expecting something larger and headed towards a crowd of people instead. By the time I circled back, I hung up on like three phone calls and ignored several texts, just texted back again "sam adams" when they asked where I was. Took a picture of the statue, then sat down again and waited. Still more texts and calls to not respond to. Finally I was really annoyed but got up to go back to the bar and was thinking, if they aren't here, I'm fucking off again, lol. But they were there and ... my friend H was in tears.

Uh oh. Nice going, Dae.

I put my frustration aside and just fell back into step... she didn't talk to me for a little while. I felt like such an asshole. It was only later I saw some texts that hadn't come through then... half of them already had their phones dead, the others were almost dead, and they'd texted me that they were going to head to the car without me and pick me up in a couple hours. Of courese, my phone was low battery too. I almost fucking stranded myself in Boston, extremely sick, with no cellphone, please ground me.

We went back to the subway (there was another station right near to us, thankfully, so no long walk), and rode all the way back to our original station. Then we had to trek back UP the hill we came down from the campus... I was wheezing hard.

Everyone crashed in D's room for a while. I collapsed on the couch and they all went into the bathroom to smoke pot. I considered leaving to the car to get my phone charger but was like, if I do they'll probably think I bailed again. and then I could literally hear them talking about me, and S saying, "I bet when we come out, she'll be gone again" and I just... felt so angry at him but also like such an asshole bc I'm sick and having a miserable time when I WANT to have fun but instead I'm being a bitch and I can't help it. And they want to drink and get high and I don't like either of those things even when I'm NOT sick as a dog and barely able to breathe, so fuck no I'm not doing that, thanks.

I think after that we finally went to our hotel bc it was check in time (3pm). My friend had reserved the room but they wouldn't let her pay because her card didn't have her name on it, and the others only had cash, so I stepped up to put the room on my card. It made me feel better about being there at all, because they literally wouldn't have had a place to stay (this was a fairly long drive away from Boston).

We went out to eat and this is where S shows once again how much of an asshole he is...

I'm not sure WHERE this came from, but out of the blue while we're sitting in this restaurant, S says something like, "If a drunk girl tells me to fuck her and then she passes out, I can tap that without getting in trouble."

Yeah... I'm positive I didn't remember that right but the statement he made didn't make ANY sense.

All four of us (D, H, T, and myself) were like, ???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. That is RAPE.

D and I start trying to explain, for one, UNCONSCIOUS = no, and two, in this hypothetical she gave her "consent" while drunk, and you cannot legally consent while drunk!

"But what if we're both drunk"

We're trying to explain that technically neither could consent, it's a risky situation, and then he goes,

"So what if my ex texts me and says 'come tie me up and have your way with me'."

D is like, "I can't even begin with how many variables there are in that situation."

Me: "It depends. Is she sober? Is it actually HER texting? Is she going to say no when you get there?"

S: "She'd have to prove that it wasn't her texting..."

We kept talking about this and trying to explain like, the limits of consent and finally T is like, "Why are we talking about this?"

D and I: "Because it came up and it's worth talking about! There are a lot of people who don't understand."

But anyway, we pretty quickly dropped the topic, but I cannot get over the fact that S randomly said that he'd fuck an unconscious woman. And I am expected to share a bed with him at the hotel.

I was super super pissed with S at this point like, this actual FUCKBOY, first he thinks that equal rights means his rights get taken away, now he's stated that he'd rape somebody?? like?? get the fuck away from me, permanently.

We had to drive D back to his room and it's dark outside now.

I haven't yet mentioned, but as beautiful as Boston is to walk around, the roads are crazy and driving is a fucking nightmare. There are some normal streets but almost everything connects directly onto a highway (at least where we were... and I'm not sure if highway is the right word bc fuck if I know anything about driving but they are SCARY multi-lane roads). The highways are like 4, 3, or 5 fucking lanes of people driving like there's no speed limit, cars constantly switching lanes and assholes flying past us.

All of that is scary enough, but worse is that:

- T is the one driving, because H is too scared to drive in Boston traffic. - T does not have a license. - The car's left blinker doesn't fucking work, so switching lanes to the left is a deathwish. - Did I mention the drinking and getting high? Yeah. - Also, the chainsmoking resumes and I am in fucking misery.

We manage to drop D off, and they had mentioned the fact that they HAVE the lightbulb for the back blinker, but didn't take the time to install is before leaving. D had mentioned that he could probably do it. So I'm like, hey, how about we do that?  D takes a look and realizes that it'd take some time to take apart, but he'd be able to do it with some assistance. T is like, nah it'd take some work, and I'm disheartened (bc I want this car to be as legal as fucking possible bc if we get pulled over I'm 100% sure that I'm fucked on getting home, best case scenario. Worst case scenario, I might charged with something just for being with these guys. Idk if that's even rational but honestly.) but they agree to just deal with it later.

We get back to the hotel and H and I decide to go swimming in the pool. It's honestly one of the highlights of the trip for me bc I rarely get to go swimming, so we enjoyed ourselves for a while, talking about how T and S were kind of annoying both of us. The guys were getting alcohol and stuff while we swam, and they drank some and then joined us. It was kind of funny bc H had worn her bikini bottom but also swim trunks over them, and S didn't have anything to wear to swim in, so she gave him her trunks. They fit him so tightly lmaoo. The guys were splashing around, goofing off, and at this point I'm less angry and more just like, letting it all go, I know I don't like S whatsoever, he's fucking dumb, but I don't want to be hostile and I'm trying as much as possible to not be a huge bitch and a wet blanket, so it's whatever. We joked around a lot, and had fun, and finally got out of the pool when it was closing. But it was really awkward bc they had to go to change and T had gone into the women's room with H so I had to stand outside and wait to change my clothes... and I could hear H yelling at him about... peeing wildly everywhere? Oh my god. I don't even wanna know. It was one of those moments where I was like, there is nudity beyond both of these doors and I am probably forever going to be not comfortable with that. It's kind of a bizarre and shitty realization that everyone else is on a different plane of existence. Like, I'm the weird one because I don't wanna see dicks flopping around. Huh.

Rinsed off, changed clothes, went back upstairs, blow dried my hair and flopped onto the bed. At this point, I'm physically worn down but.... not.... tired. So I'm not sure if I'm going to fall asleep. But they want to run around, and ask about the strip club plans, and my friend is like, "Dae said she didn't want to go" (which is true, I told her no because I'm very sick and felt uncomfortable about the whole idea anyway) but the guys are like, "You're killing us, we're not going?" and she's like, "Are we?" and I'm so sick and tired at this point that I'm like, "Actually yeah let's go" and get up and get dressed again, ready to impress, ready to jump in and see some ladies and titties and see how uncomfortable I feel about it all.

We get into the car, and all of us have been trying to see what the nearest strip club is... there really isn't one. What the nearest bar is... eh. We're trying to find something really close by, because the guys have been drinking and T has no LICENSE and the car blinker is broken so instead I'm like, "Where's the nearest Walmart?"  over 100 miles away jfc. "Where's the nearest target?" Less than a mile away. Awesome! My mood is UP bc we're going to Target, now this is my idea of a good time.

Yeah, no. My phone is a piece of SHIT and they refuse to even look at it, but their phone won't update fast enough while we're driving and we CAN'T FUCKING MERGE LEFT because we'll be killed in this traffic, so we have to go to the right. We see other stores and want to go to them, but the problem is, when we turned right we already missed that opportunity. And this road merges directly into a fucking interstate. And we cannot turn off of it. And now we are going 80 mph in the wrong direction and have to take the next off ramp.

For the next fucking 30 minutes at least, we are desperately trying to get our fucking phones to tell us where we are and where we need to go. Everything loops in circles, because of the highways and off ramps. We keep missing fucking turns and ending up in even more of a tangled mess. Our phones did not charge up much at the hotel and are on the verge of dying once again and we cannot fucking turn LEFT. T and S are getting frustrated, I'm convinced I'm going to fucking die, and H is having an anxiety attack, texting me like, "This is my car and if we crash everyone is going to get hurt and it's my fault" and I'm like... can we please fucking stop somewhere and just fix the fucking light.

By the time we finally make it back to where we belong, we just go straight to the hotel. So fucking much for strip clubs, or bars, or even Target. Fuck that noise. We aren't driving anywhere after all, we all agree on that and we're all really frustrated and stressed.

I ask again like, even if it takes a while we should really fix the light bc driving down to Mass we had the same problem, and we're going to keep having that problem until we fix it, but the guys are like, we'd have to take apart the whole back end, if it were a quick fix we'd have done it already. In the daylight it'll be okay, it's really just at night that's the worst because all they see is our tail lights, and a lack of left blinker means someone might get killed. So I'm like, alright and let it go.

We get snacks from the vending machines, and crash in the hotel room again. Despite all the hyped talk from the guys about drinking and drugs (seriously, S was like, "Let's go  get some ecstacy or heroin" before we left on that horrific ride, and H was like "UHHHH NO, NOT HAPPENING."  He also talked about forcing girls to choke on his dick, so if anyone was wondering if he learned anything from the Consent Discussion, the answer is, probably no. And people wonder why I have sex anxiety jfc.)

Thankfully, I crashed on one bed, and H, T, and S all crashed on the other bed... probably bc they didn't want to catch my germs tbh. I heard S saying "bacterial pneumonia" to his phone.

Sleep was... hellish. I woke up at 4am, SHAKING uncontrollably and had to turn up the heat for a while. I think I was running a fever so it didn't help me at all.. after that I had to press a cold drink against my forehead and didn't fall asleep again until 6am, and we all get up around 8:50am.

Btw, the hotel was pretty shitty... a bunch of ants were under my shoes at the indoor pool when I picked my shoes up... they were coming up from the vents because I guess I stepped in something sugary. H freaked out a bit. Then in our 3rd floor room, there was another of those ants on my pillow. Nice. The breakfast service was shitty. The only edible thing for me was the apple juice, the rest of it was awful cheap stuff. We went to burger king instead, which H had wanted for breakfast anyway. My voice was nearly gone at this point and I had to type my order onto my phone and let the cashier read it. The burger king was also super shitty lmao it was under construction but the bathrooms were just, awful and unkept. We realized we had to head straight home now in order to get back in time for everything H and I had to do, so we got straight onto the highway.

Once again... terrifying traffic, and the difficulty of merging to the left. Every time T had to merge, I had to close my eyes and post facebook statuses like "pray for me because I am going to die." At this point, T and S are like, "We should've just fixed the light before we left" and I am like, internally fucking screaming BECAUSE I SAID THAT ALREADY OH MY GOD. Also, CUE THE CHAINSMOKING AGAIN.

I got dropped off directly at my work a couple hours before my shift, and then worked my closing shift.

Remember, at this point I've had very little sleep and fevers every night since Friday... my voice is just a whisper, I spent hours walking around Boston, hours awake at night, I should be exhausted but I am wide the fuck awake. By the time I finally got home, I still didn't even fall asleep until almost 2am.

So yeah.... I'm not even sure how to summarize my trip to Boston and how it made me feel. Everything was really random and accidental. It took a long time for it to occur to me, holy shit I am in BOSTON, historic Boston, and should be taking pictures and seeing the Freedom Trail and actually interesting stuff like that, but it didn't seem to occur to any of us until the day we had to go back and H wwas like, "I wish I'd taken more pictures."  I wish I had too, especially of the march, but since I ws sick before I even left, I actually wasn't even aware that the marches were going on, I was completely out of the loop. It's something I was super excited about and would've never been able to go to normally, but somehow I accidentally happened to end up there at the right time.

In all it was, frustrating, miserable, beautiful, surprisingly nice and diverse, historic, terrifying, stupid, and extremely lucky. Lucky that we managed to arrange the trip on short notice, lucky that we didn't die on the way down, lucky that I happened to be there for a huge protest event that I was able to partake in at least a tiny bit, lucky that I didn't have to go to the strip club after all, lucky that we didn't get arrested, lucky that we made it back safely, lucky that I didn't chop S's dick off and shove it down his throat. I think I might've used up all of the luck for the next ten years, and I'm a bit frightened.

For those keeping score at home, 

Reasons Why Dae Needs to be Grounded:

- going on a trip with sketchy drug dealing wannabe-gangsters who are racist, transphobic, homophobic, misogynistic dumbasses - going on this trip while extremely sick - ditching my friend and the group while extremely sick, in a strange city, with all of our cell phones dying, and ignoring their calls - swimming in the pool while extremely sick (I broke the pool rules whoops) - getting BACK into the defective car with a driver who had been drinking and has no license, at night - going to work directly after this trip, while extremely sick - still trying to talk while my voice is 99% gone - not cleaning my room (it’s so messy help) - staying up late at night to type this instead of sleeping

and now my throat feels much better but I’ve 100% lost my voice and can only communicate through strained whispers and interpretive dance.

but I have tomorrow off and I plan to finally.... rest. 

assuming that I can even fall asleep.

[dnd-drunks-n-debauchery]

Recap/Highlight reel of Friday Night's session

Brought to you by @nevergonnarollagain AKA Cookie (02/04/2021)

The session picks up from where we left off last week; everyone who'd been fighting Ivan is recovering from what happened. Jayfice has drunk the potions they took from the potion shop, Rosania has cast a healing spell on Javier and apologised for hitting him with the flour bomb, then he and Harmony have shifted to lean against the potion shop wall. Oh, and Ned has gone off somewhere on his own, possibly back to the tavern to have a drink.

When Jayfice realises that they can understand the grass around them, they try asking the grass if Ivan is standing on any of it. All they get however is the grass screeching that so many of them are dying, why were they being burnt, why were they being trampled on, and everything is agony. 

Jayfice glances towards the group of Ivan's crew who are setting up camp; there's probably about 40 of them that they can see and they're working in smaller groups that are all spaced out around the area. Some of them are setting up a fire pit and tents, while others are foraging around for supplies. As much as Jayfice wants to try and take them on, they know that it isn't practical and that they'd swiftly be outnumbered.

Inora comes towards the party with some salves that she'd made with ingredients in the potion shop, and goes over to give some to Javier and Harmony first. Jayfice starts trying to taunt Ivan to make him show himself, but unbeknownst to them they're still talking in plant language; all anyone else hears coming from their mouth is the rustling of grass.

Rosania walks over to Jayfice and tells them they're rustling, but Jayfice doesn't understand what Rosania's saying. They get the idea that Rosania can't understand them and tries talking in Infernal, but all that comes out is more plant noises unlike anything heard on the Material plane.

Rosania has no idea what to make of this and starts muttering to herself, causing Jayfice to panic a little. They start shouting at their friends asking if they can be understood, but nobody can answer. After some thinking Rosania comes up with an idea; they grab a stick from Jayfice's bag and write "youre rustling" in the snow.

Thankfully Jayfice can still understand written common, and writes back that the plants are screaming. When Rosania asks how Jayfice can hear the plants they write "HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW. HELP ME"

Inora comes over to see if either of the pair need salves, and when Rosania explains Jayfice's situation Inora explains that essentially, Jayfice is cursed. It'll take a skilled magic worker to undo these effects, but thankfully it can be done. She asks whether Jayfice wants a larger salve or a smaller one, and Rosania takes the smaller one for them. Inora doesn't question this since Rosania seems to be a druid, and druids can understand plants right?

Jayfice heads into the middle of town so they can see if any of the other groups need help fighting Ivan's forces. So far though things seem to be going ok, and the fights seem to be reaching some sort of middle ground. Neither side is actively advancing on the other, and at the moment it seems that they're having some kind of trench warfare.

Rosania walks over to Jayfice and takes the stick from them again, writing out "you are cursed" in the snow. Jayfice looks at the words, then at Rosania, then at the words, then at Rosania, then stares at the ground in disbelief. Rosania asks what Jayfice did to get cursed, and Jayfice responds that they drank the "special liquids". Rosania smirks when she sees that although doesn't comment on the word choice, and Jayfice glares at her.

Javier and Harmony move to sit by the temple, and Jayfice goes over to ask if they have any writing tools since it would be easier to write on than writing in the snow. Javier takes Harmony's calligraphy kit from her bag and gives it to Jayfice before going back to hugging her. Jayfice goes back over to Rosania and explains via the parchment that there's magic of some kind in the temple that they might be able to use to defeat Ivan. 

The pair head into the temple, and Jayfice hears breathing in the back room. They start being as quiet as possible, and Rosania picks up on that and stays quiet as well. 

Jayfice tiptoes over to the desk where the egg is and writes on the parchment that they're back and need help fighting before pressing it against the egg. When they take the parchment back they see that their words are gone, replaced with the sentence "What's it worth?"

They ask what the egg wants and press the parchment against the egg again, much to the confusion of Rosania who walks over to the desk as well. A draconic voice in Jayfice's head responds to Jayfice's question with "Treasure," and Jayfice offers to give them the stick, only for the dragon heads on the wall to shoot fire at it. Jayfice yanks the stick out of harm's way and asks what sort of treasure the being wants, and gets the response "Powerful treasure." It's then that Jayfice works out who they're talking to here.

This temple seems to be set up as a place of worship for a dragon arch-devil called Tiamat who has a lair in one of the layers of the 9 hells. If she wants a powerful treasure, there's a chance it might be for an evil cleric that she's the patron of, although she does also like hoarding treasure so it could be for her own collection.

Jayfice explains that we need help to fight Ivan and his army, and Tiamat tells them that due to contractual agreements she can only help with the army, but she is at least willing to help us fight. A contract forms on the parchment which Rosania and Jayfice both look over, however Rosania doesn't understand the language it's in and thus can't determine if there might be any unsavoury clauses.

Jayfice decides to sign the contract, and when they do the sound of wing beats can be heard outside. They run to one of the windows and look out, and sees a dragon swooping down on Ivan's groups and wiping out a large amount of them.

All of a sudden the door to the back room slams open. Rosania and Jayfice turn to see what's going on but there doesn't seem to be anything there. However, they do both sense some kind of movement in the room as someone moves towards Jayfice, and it seems like it might be Ivan.

Panicking, Jayfice strikes out against where they think Ivan might be standing but doesn't find him. Rosania runs towards Jayfice and shouts to Javier and Harmony that Ivan's in the room before striking out herself, however she also fails to hit him.

Harmony makes it into the room first, running to the middle and looking all around to try and work out where Ivan might be standing. After a moment she casts Witch bolt, managing to hit Ivan with it.

Ivan stops being invisible right as he swings at Jayfice with his war picks. He catches them in the shoulder blades and rips towards their chest, and as Jayfice falls unconscious and falls over Ivan stands on their leg and rips it off, causing Jayfice to let out a shriek of pain, which to everyone else is just an agitated rustling.

It's at that moment that Javier walks into the room.

He spots Jayfice and screams, and sensing something bad is about to happen Rosania stumbles backwards out of the temple. Javier ends up zapping everyone else in the room before firing two Scorching Ray beams at Ivan as Rosania runs back inside.

Feeling extremely panicked (and admittedly rather guilty) over having narrowly avoided being zapped by Javier as well as seeing Jayfice be brutally attacked, Rosania turns into an Allosaurus again. She spins round and bites Ivan, although it's not as effective as it could be due to her being really panicked right now.

Knowing he doesn't have much health left, and satisfied at having made the bird unconscious for now, Ivan walks past the Rosaniasaurus towards Javier and Harmony, then attacks them both twice with his war picks, taking down Harmony before turning invisible.

Javier sees Harmony fall down and loses it. He grabs his fire rapier and stabs at where Ivan had been standing but misses. He thrusts forward again, stabbing Ivan through the heart. Rosania spots this and as Javier yanks his rapier free she stomps on Ivan.

However, she didn't count on Javier stabbing at Ivan again.

Thankfully for Rosania, Javier manages to narrowly avoid stabbing her, angling the rapier to stab between her toes at the last second. She swiftly moves her foot away as Javier stabs Ivan one last time before using up all of his spell slots launching his most powerful spells at the now very dead Ivan to make sure he stays down.

As Rosania starts trying to calm herself down so she can turn back into herself again, she suddenly notices something.

The grass noises in the corner have stopped.

Jayfice finds themselves standing on a dock. In front of them standing in a small, 2 person boat is a skeleton delicately engraved with pristine runes and wearing black robes. They walk towards the boat and ask where they're going, and the skeleton explains that that's not up to him and he's just the ferryman. Jayfice can say where they'd like to go, but ultimately it's the gods who would decide.

The ferryman notes that Jayfice has sure made a name for themselves among the gods, and that they seem to be fairly restless. He says that Jayfice possibly has some unfinished business, and that if they were extremely desperate they could try and return to the Material Plane as an Undead. However, he notes that he's never seen anyone do that before, at least not with their soul still fully intact.

Jayfice decides that they want to go to Aborea, but is worried about how their friends will be without them. The ferryman explains that he can't see far enough into the future to say for sure, but that if Jayfice wanted he could show them how their friends were right now. Jayfice agrees, and the ferryman uses his oar to stir the water a little. An image appears of the inside of the temple, and Jayfice moves over to take a look.

Inora walks into the temple having heard the chaos from the potion shop. She spots Jayfice in the corner and runs over to them, desperately trying to stabilize them. After reaching the conclusion that they're dead, she glances over at Javier. Seeing the state he's currently in though, she attempts to lie and says that Jayfice is going to be fine.

Javier looks over at Jayfice and starts saying "No" over and over, grabbing his fire rapier and stumbling into the middle of the room. He stabs himself with it as Rosania turns back to normal, and she runs over to him and tries to knock the rapier out of his hands. She doesn't manage to do that, and Javier stabs himself again and almost falls unconscious, but his hair starts glowing and he sends out some kind of magical effect, stabilizing Harmony. When he realises that it didn't help Jayfice he crawls over to Harmony, hugging her and crying.

Inora casts some kind of spell on Jayfice's body as the scene fades away, and the ferryman explains that the spell would buy them some time to try and revive Jayfice, but that Jayfice would only return if they wanted to. He explains that Jayfice would be able to wait in whichever afterlife they go to, but Jayfice decides to stay at the dock with the ferryman.

They ask the ferryman for his name, and he introduces himself as Kalvaxus. Kalvaxus gets off of the boat and walks over to Jayfice, wobbling around a bit as he does so. He sits down next to Jayfice, and the pair start to converse to pass the time.

Back on the Material Plane, Rosania hurries out of the temple. She knows that people will be making their way there soon enough and doesn't want to be around when they find out Jayfice is dead. She has no idea how they'd react to that, but she doesn't want to be around when they do. She runs back to the tavern to have a drink, and as she steps inside she sees Aiac, Vannessa and Gorgak walk into town.

The trio spot Rosania dart into the tavern, but don't think too much of it. They head over to the temple to find Jayfice and the others, with Aiac walking in first and the other two following a few seconds later. The other group of fighters return from their battles as well, and having seen Vannessa and Gorgak go into the temple they head there as well.

Rosania isn't sure of what happened in the temple. All she knows is that everyone came back in complete silence. Nobody said anything to each other, they all simply bedded down for the night. She knew she should follow their example, but she just couldn't shake the images -- and the guilt -- from her mind.

She could have saved Jayfice. They didn't die immediately, she was sure of that, and she could have made it over to them and healed them. But no, she just had to panic and turn into that big lizard creature again didn't she? Was it a curse from the druids she'd possibly accidentally stolen the wand from, to turn into that thing whenever she got scared? Talaya did say it was possible that she would have upset the druids by taking it...

She sat in the corner trying her best to slip into a resting trance, but all she could think about was her panicked transformations. It hadn't hurt to transform, it was just annoying really. She took out her wand and looked at it, thinking. Maybe this whole transforming thing was a power that druids had that she was really bad at controlling?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of wings outside. Remembering Jayfice signing the contract earlier she stealthily moves over to the window to see what's going on, wondering whether or not to wake the others before deciding not to in case it's a false alarm.

As she reaches the window she begins to hear a voice talking. Looking out the window she can see a devilish woman talking to an elvish woman, and she recognises the elvish woman as the one she'd met during her isolation who'd talked about guns. As she listens, the devilish woman explains to the elvish woman that she was feeling generous and was willing to say that the elvish woman had successfully killed Jayfice and let her go free.

Rosania keeps listening as the elvish woman asks if she'd still have to do the "dirty work" for the devilish woman, and the devilish woman tells her that she wouldn't if she took this offer now. The elvish woman thinks it over for a few moments before agreeing, and the devilish woman flies up into the sky before nose diving towards the ground. A portal of some kind opens up below her, which she swoops through before it vanishes.

On the docks, as Jayfice's conversation with Kalvaxus pauses, they happen to glance towards the other end and sees the devilish woman they'd spoken to the previous night walking towards them. She greets Kalvaxus before telling Jayfice that they're going to be going with her now since she owns their soul.

Jayfice asks how that's possible when it was Ivan who killed them, not the assassin that the woman had sent, and she explains that she proposed the idea to the assassin who was happy to take it. Jayfice counters with the fact that it wasn't the assassin's soul to give in the first place, and after some thinking the devilish woman decides to leave them for now.

As she leaves, Kalvaxus tells Jayfice that it would probably be safer for them to go and wait in Aborea or, well, whatever afterlife they end up going to. Jayfice agrees, and the pair get into the boat and Kalvaxus starts rowing.

After a few minutes Kalvaxus stops rowing, leaning over the side and stirring the water with his oar. He announces that Jayfice is extremely lucky, and that they're going to get to go to Aborea after all. Sure enough, a small portal seems to have formed under the water, and there's a view of some mountains that can be seen. Jayfice thanks Kalvaxus then steps off of the boat into the portal and enters freefall.

Jayfice scrambles around flapping their wings in a panic as they fall, unintentionally slowing their descent. Turns out that in the afterlife their wings work fine, although they don't quite register that fact until they land. As they get to their feet and look around, a woman comes out of a cottage nearby and walks over to them before nodding.

Back on the Material Plane, Rosania muses over what she heard outside. She figures that Jayfice is probably in danger wherever their soul is now, and starts thinking through her options. She remembers that Inora revived her and Ned after the fight with "Klilic" and decides that she could ask her if it would be possible to do the same for Jayfice in the morning. Satisfied for now at least, she finally manages to slip into a trance.

As soon as Rosania comes out of her trance she goes over to Inora, who is already awake, and asks what it would take to bring Jayfice back to life. Inora explains that she needs 300gp worth of special diamonds, and there aren't any in this town. Rosania nods, knowing that she doesn't have nearly enough, but hoping that perhaps the others could pool their funds to pay for Jayfice's revival.

Javier happens to overhear this conversation and gives the money to Inora himself, and adds that they'll also need a way to transport the body. Rosania nods again, already piecing together an idea. It'd rely heavily on this magic that she seems to have now, but figures it'd be worth a shot.

Once everyone is awake she raises her voice, asking if anyone knows how to build carts. A few of the group who are fairly knowledgeable about land vehicles figure that they could give it a shot, and head off to get the materials and put it together. Rosania then turns to Gorgak and asks if he could go get Jayfice's body, but Aiac cuts in and asks to go and get them instead. Since Aiac is Jayfice's brother Rosania immediately agrees, knowing that Aiac would probably want some time alone with them in case the revival does fail.

Rosania walks out into the town square and paces around for a few minutes, trying to figure out what she keeps doing (aside from being scared) to turn into that weird lizard creature. Vannessa comes over and shows her the cart, and it...it certainly looks like a cart. Everything has been nailed in pretty good. Was there supposed to be a nail sticking out by the back wheel? Eh, it'd be fine.

Aiac comes out of the temple with Jayfice's body wrapped up, and he doesn't really look at anyone as he places them in the cart. Everyone else comes outside, and Rosania attempts her transformation. And...well...she's certainly a horse. A small horse. Actually, she's turned into a pony. At the very least, she does seem to be able to think as herself in this form, which she'd not really stopped to think about during the times she'd been that lizard thing.

She also hadn't told the others what her plan is.

Thankfully they get the idea, attaching the cart to her before several of them climb into the cart. She’s initially surprised that nobody seems to be going to ride her, but figures that if she can think for herself in this form, it might have just annoyed her having someone on her back.

The group all set off, and Rosania notices that despite her not being a full-sized horse and the cart not running particularly smoothly, they seem to be making fairly good progress for the first day. Every once in a while they come across some kind of small marker leading onto a different path to the one they're heading along, and when they follow that path instead it turns out that the original path was blocked up ahead. She thinks it's strange that they keep finding these markers, but figures that maybe someone was travelling a little further ahead of them.

After about 6 hours Rosania suddenly turns back into herself, and despite her best efforts she can't seem to change into the pony again. The others seem to expect this however, and go about setting up camp. Once they've got everything set up Javier announces that he thinks if we keep making good progress like this we should get to the city in about three weeks. The others seem surprised at this news, but Javier explains; one of the wheels keeps catching on a nail sticking out of the cart which slows them down, and Rosania's pony form isn't quite as strong as a horse would be which slows them down more. Rosania feels a little bad about slowing them down, but decides that any progress is better than no progress.

The next day as the group travel onwards, they stumble upon a small camp. Thinking back to her time in isolation, Rosania figures that it'd be best to leave this as it is and carry on. Before we can do that however, a bunch of orcs come, seemingly out of nowhere, and surround the group. One of them addresses the group in Orcish, and Gorgak walks over and responds. The pair seem to converse for a couple of minutes, then the orcs all walk off. As we continue on our way several of the cart's occupants ask Gorgak what he and the other orc were talking about, but he just grins to himself and shakes his head.

Over the next few days we make steady progress, until one day we come across an area cleared of trees. The scent of rot and metal is thick in the air, and as we walk into the area it becomes clear why; the remnants of a fight between various humanoids and frost giants is spread across the clearing; there's about 13 humanoid corpses and 4 frost giant corpses. They haven't just been sitting rotting though; large carnivorous birds and several dire wolves are feasting on them.

As we try to process this gruesome scene, an immense feeling of dread falls over the group. The wolves and birds suddenly all flee, and Rosania gets the feeling that something powerful -- and dangerous -- is about to make itself known.

That's where we ended the session, and Locke revealed that the conversation that Gorgak and the other orc had was the lyrics to "Never Gonna Give You Up" translated into Orcish. I spent quite a few minutes laughing about that one! XD

[theliterateape]

"Here's My Heart": Braid's 'Frame & Canvas' Turns 20

By David Himmel

Today marks the 20th anniversary of the release of Frame & Canvas by the Champaign, Illinois-based band Braid. This album mattered. It mattered when it was first released for what it meant for the punk/emo/hardcore genre. It mattered for what it meant for the band. It mattered for what it meant to me and the thousands (Tens of thousands? Millions?) of kids like me. And yeah, it matters now.

I know I’m not the first to get all fanboy gooey over this album or this band. But lately I’m having a hard time not submitting to the allure of nostalgia, that gorgeous siren. No, it’s not nostalgia. It’s reference to the past, my past. It could be that the last year was a wild one — first year of marriage; dog gets sick; land a new job; wife gets pregnant; lose the new job; dog dies; first child is born. A lot of impactful things have happened personally — internally. And it’s been busy externally, too — all things Trump; the generational war; the race/socio-economic war; the geographical war; Stranger Things 2. In wild times like these, it does one best to cite history for the guidance, clues and cues for how to best navigate the new, but always familiar, waters. And so, I’ve been going back to the well of my favorite movies, books and music for comfort and clarity.

Frame & Canvas is a favorite. Braid is a favorite. As such, the record release of 20 years ago today is worth writing about.

On April 7, 1998, I was a freshman in college at UNLV. I was miserable. The whys and whats of why are too numerous and convoluted to get into here but I can tell you that overall, I felt stale.

I didn’t run out and buy Frame & Canvas on its release day. I don’t remember when I bought the CD but I remember that it did not leave its place in the 6-CD disk changer in my new Volkswagen Golf — my first car — for all of my sophomore year at school. I remember playing it at full volume with the windows down and the sunroof open as one of my sophomore year roommates, Matt Sandoval, and I drove to San Diego for a weekend on the beach. He was impressed with it. It sounded like nothing he’d ever heard before. He wanted more. So did I.

“So I’m told that Chicago’s cold. Can’t be cool as California.” — First Day Back

Braid wasn’t new to me. The released two albums (and a slew of singles and splits and compilations, etc.) but Braid hadn’t resonated with me until Frame & Canvas. The band’s third and final album — before the release of a two-volume compilation of singles and B-sides, and a temp-to-full-time reunion release 16 years later — was just the right mix of nuance that my sensitive, wannabe rockstar heart and ears required. I had even seen Braid perform the earlier stuff at Chicago’s Fireside Bowl several times when they shared the bill with my favorites at the time, The Promise Ring and The Get Up Kids to name two. (Those bands still rank among my favorites, and their albums remain in routine rotation on my turntable, in my iTunes and in my car.) After I completely absorbed every lyric, drum beat, guitar riff and bass line I could from Frame & Canvas, I dove into the older stuff. And now I loved it. All of it. I became a superfan.

Braid broke up in 1999. They went on a one-off reunion tour in 2004. I flew from Las Vegas to Detroit to see them open for Minus the Bear. I still have the ticket stub. It wasn my birthday weekend. It was fucking incredible.

But back to the record at hand…

The songs were about being in a state of certain uncertainty. A place of transition with the balls to step up and have no fear of fucking it all up. The songs were about girls and friends and getting older and being younger and parents and longing and having and missing and distance and places and things and giving a shit and not giving a shit at all.

“We’ve got a lot of great mistakes to make. We’ve a lot of chances to take, so let’s take our time and hurry.” — The New Nathan Detroits

Or that’s how I perceived them. What do I know? I didn’t write them, I only listened to them. It’s that old argument: What Does The Art Mean And Who Does It Mean It To? The album, front to back and back again was everything my tender Midwestern heart was feeling and everything my late teenage brain was thinking

Frame & Canvas was released at the end of my freshman year, but it was wholly consumed throughout my sophomore year. My sophomore year was the year when I was still sad but sick of being sad; bored but sick of being bored; interested but struggling to find something interesting. Throughout the album, there were lyrics that spoke to exactly what I was feeling or thinking, or needed to hear because I hadn’t thought of it that way. And certainly not with that shift in time signature or run down the frets.

It was my sophomore when I shook off the dust and salt and tried new things while staying evermore true to myself. That was the year college started to be enjoyable and life started to suck. That was the year my twenties began and a new, more confident, less afraid David emerged. I didn’t know what a Nathan Detroit was — I didn’t get the reference, but I couldn’t help to relate because there was something both familiar and new about this guy, Nathan. (I later, of course, realized that Nathan Detroit was a reference to the character from Guys and Dolls. The reference and connection still accurately applies.)

One of my longest standing and still best friends, Brian Wolff, once told me, “You treat lead singers like they’re great philosophers.” Yeah, I do. Fuck Socrates. Eat shit, Voltaire. Bite my dick, Angelou. Give me my Nanna, Broach, Portman, Schwartzenbach, Andriano…

I’m not alone in this, I know. Music matters. Bands matter. Singers and guitarists and bassists and drummers matter. They say and play what we want to say and play but can’t because we’re in our own way. And get this; there are bands for the bands, too. Everyone is inspired.

So, it’s 20 years later…

I’ve seen Braid perform live countless times at this point — considering all the times in high school at the Fireside, the reunion show, the quieter shows before the release of the new album in 2014 and the few since. And yeah, I own the VHS and DVD of Killing a Camera, the live performance documentary of the band’s swan song performances. I’m a fan. Superfan.

In the years since Frame & Canvas has been among us, the listening public, it has remained a constant source of companionship. Through girlfriends of distance, through missing my Midwestern roots while living my dear dessert life in Nevada, through being married...

“I can’t come home, I’m stuck in a phone booth again. But once in your arms, we’ll rise above the ground. You and me, and the beautiful aerial view… I’m never coming down.” — Collect from Clark Kent

A short departure for a story of a different tone, yet related…

When I was making my move from Las Vegas to Chicago during June of 2007, I stopped in Rock Springs, Wyoming. It was on the way and I had to pee. I also was jonesing for a small town beer. Preferably a draft. I found what I considered a local-enough tavern to piss and throw anchor in, and steered the VW into the small parking lot. I too my piss, drank my beer and scribbled in my notebook. Those writings are somewhere, actually close to me in a well-disheveled filing of notebooks in my desk just to the left of this very keyboard. I’ll spare you the contents of that bar top writing because it’s not good. At least not without music to it…

Point is, while I was drinking and writing, it dawned on me that Braid had recorded a song about Rock Springs, Wyoming. It’s called I Keep a Diary, and as I realized that, I recognized that was living out a song I loved. For I, too, was keeping a diary. Bonus: The date of the diary entry in that song is my wife’s birthday. How about that?

“Ten-ten, ninety-seven… Rock Springs, Wyoming hotel. As far as I can tell, I just don’t miss you anymore.” — I Keep a Diary

OK. So here we are, 20 years later. I embarked on my career, I poured through and over girlfriends, I bought a house with a pool, I lost my virginity, I bought a boat — sort of — I got married, I became a dad, I bought another VW Golf then a VW GTI, I got some cancer, I became a scotch drinker.

The thing about our formative years is that they’re always formative. We don’t grow out of who we were when we were angsty, emotional, needy, angry, confused, certain, brilliant, and dumb-as-fuck teenagers and twentysomethings. That is our base. All of us. That’s why our record collection, and collecting, caps out around the time between our teenage and late twenties years. Unless you’re a music critic or seriously committed to avoiding atrophy in spite of the certain emotional disappointment new music will bring your aging ass, this is true.

But Braid keeps on.

Never mind that the band got back together. Never mind what members went on to do in subsequent years. Never mind that Bob Nanna — guitarist and vocalist of Braid — went on to write — for hire — our wedding song. Yeah, it’s pretty fucking cool that my rock ‘n’ roll  emotional hero knows my dog’s name!

How does one reconcile fandom with heroism. I see these guys at shows… they are cool enough and real enough to be friends but incredible enough to pass me over as a passing piece of late ’90s and early 2000s dust. Except that we’re all part of the same thing… The Scene, the listening public. And wouldn’t you know it? My wife hired Braid’s lyricist to pen our wedding song.

Jesus Christ.

The frame… the canvas… it’s still so real and so important.

And if Bob, Todd, Chris, Damen or Roy happen to read this… Thanks. Next time I see you at some show in town, the drinks are on me.

[urbanadventureleague]

Yep, I cancelled my originally planned Chehalem Range Ramble because the weather forecast was fairly dire. And true to form, it ended up being not that bad after all. Maybe a sprinkle, a temp around 50F/10C. Oh well, I do know of a few folks who went out and did some form of the Chehalem Ramble after all, so all was not lost. And honestly, after a tough work week and working until 10 PM on Saturday, I’m glad that I didn’t wake up early, hustle on the MAX, and do a 40 mile ride with about 2,500 feet of cumulative climbing.

What I did instead was a bit more mellow. After spending the AM around the house, I departed the Holland House around 1:30 with a general objective of heading west through the Peninsula. First, I aimed north towards my favorite bottomlands of the Columbia Slough. Oh slough, you are so peaceful, and so close. The first bit of exploration was along the levee on the north side of the slough just east of NE MLK Blvd. This is technically “off limits” to public use, but that gap in the fence is so damn wide due to years of use and abuse, ain’t no stopping no one. The first bit was a rough grassy track, then the inexplicable orphaned paved path behind FedEx, awaiting a linkage to a network that may be decades in the making.

I descended down from here and made a beeline (relatively speaking) to one of my favorite spots down here, the Columbia Children’s Arboretum. The gist behind this random park is to have a state tree from all 50 states. I don’t know if that ever happened, but I do know that my home state of Connecticut is represented with a White Oak. (It also happens to be the State Tree of a bunch of other states too, but did they have The Charter Oak? No!) Of course, all the (deciduous) trees were at peak poppin’ now, so a great time to be down here.

I kept heading westward along the Columbia Slough path, which sits on the north side levee above the slough. While it had remained dry and off/on sunny, the stiff west wind was not exactly fun, and made it feel a bit colder than it probably was. I paused at the bridge over the slough by the wastewater treatment plant, watching a UP freight pass by in the distance, and hoping for a heron to pop out of the water.

So it was definitely time for coffee. My original hope was to try Willamette’s End Coffee on N Lombard, since it was a cafe I had never been to before. And also, a cafe on N Lombard as well. I commented a few years back about how N Lombard was one of the few long avenues in Portland to be bereft of coffee shops. That’s been changing over the past few years. But unfortunately Willamette’s End closed at 3 PM and I was too late. I could just go to Cathedral Coffee, a great place, but I’d been there before. Is there another new-to-me cafe? I did a search and found a few in St Johns, Portland’s farthest-flung North neighborhood (and own city at one point.) One piqued my interest: 2 Stroke, a two-wheeled themed cafe, albeit around motorcycles. They promised some interesting coffee drinks and food trucks in back. Why not?

I rambled further west, trying to find some great off-the-beaten path streets. And I definitely found one on the north side of St Johns, N Seneca St. Most of it was in some form of unpaved, yes! (I even passed by a chicken coop.) I found myself at 2 Stroke around 3:30. Normally I go for a tried and true “house”/drip coffee, but they had an interesting menu of specialty drinks. I got a “Vermont” which was espresso, white chocolate, maple, and cinnamon. Delicious, especially with a marionberry hand pie!

And then it was nightfall, so early with Daylight Savings Time done. I got some food, drank some beer, headed home. It was cold now, around 40F/4C. Winter is on its way…

Coffeeneuring 2017, Ride 6: Moto coffee? Sun 5 Nov Yep, I cancelled my originally planned Chehalem Range Ramble because the weather forecast was fairly dire. And true to form, it ended up being not that bad after all.

[dietpillswatchdog]

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Green tea has been proven to have numerous health benefits, including the potential to aid a small amount of weight loss. This explains its use in many weight-loss supplements, but it has the added benefit of being a calorie-free drink when consumed as a tea, rather than in a capsule.

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Lipton Green Tea Pros

Affordable tea

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Green tea increases thermogenesis + has numerous other benefits

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Not a strong weight-loss aid

Green tea can be an acquired taste

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What You Need To Know About Lipton Green Tea

Lipton Green Tea is not marketed as a weight-loss aid, but green tea is a zero calorie drink that may also increase thermogenesis in the body, which may help to burn more calories and aid weight loss. Lipton Green Tea comes in tea bags, rather than loose leaf tea, and there are numerous different flavours available. The product is incredibly cheap compared to branded weight loss aids and green tea supplements, but it is not covered by a money-back guarantee.

What Are The Side Effects Of Lipton Green Tea?

Green tea is a source of caffeine, which can cause side effects such as headaches, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, heart palpitations, increased urination, dehydration, jitteriness, dizziness and insomnia. Green tea can also cause constipation.

How Much Does Lipton Green Tea Cost?

Lipton Green Tea can be purchased from most well-stocked supermarkets.

It can also be purchased from Amazon. A box of 100 teabags of green tea costs $5.89. The flavoured versions are more expensive, with a box of 20 Green Tea with Purple Acai & Blueberry teabags costing $7.79.

A 40 count box of Lipton Green Tea costs $3.48 from Walmart. A 20 count box costs $2.37 from Target.

Our Verdict On Lipton Green Tea

Lipton Green Tea is not going to aid anywhere near as much weight loss as one of our approved diet pills; however, drinking an affordable green tea several times a day is a good way to curb calorific intake, and to slowly aid weight loss. There are numerous benefits of drinking green tea, other than weight loss, including potentially lowering the risks of some cancers, and lowering the risks of cardiovascular disease.

The product is not suitable for anyone who is sensitive to caffeine, and some people may find the taste unpleasant when unsweetened. Issues with taste, and the regulated quantity of catechins are the two biggest benefits to taking a green tea capsule instead of drinking cups of green tea. Lipton also have a range of flavoured green teas on their website, which may give consumers more options.

Overall, we think that Lipton Green Tea is a calorie-free beverage that is affordable and will help consumers to stick to strict, calorie-restricted diet plans. It could aid a small amount of weight loss, but we do not feel that it is very effective on its own. There are certainly many other supplement options that are much more effective at aiding weight loss; check out our approved page for information on some stronger weight loss aids.

We do not approve Lipton Green Tea as a weight loss supplement, but it could be a great calorie-free drink option, provided the consumer likes the taste of green tea.

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Key Features

Ingredients

Side Effects

Testimonials

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Lipton Green Tea Review

Lipton Green Tea is a brand of green tea manufactured by Lipton.

Lipton Green Tea Facts

Manufactured by Lipton

20, 40 or 100 teabags per pack

Comes in numerous flavours

Green tea is known for being beneficial for health, being calorie-free, and for its antioxidant content. It primarily contains polyphenols; one subgroup of polyphenols, catechins have been studies extensively and linked to increased thermogenesis in the body, which will help to burn extra calories in the few hours after consumption. Green tea is also a source of caffeine; although it contains less caffeine than black tea, and far less than coffee, the caffeine found naturally in green tea can increase energy levels, and slightly increase the body’s metabolic rate for a few hours after consumption.

How to Take Lipton Green Tea

Directions for use are as follows: Boil fresh water and allow to cool for 30 seconds. Pour water over a tea bag and brew for one to one and a half minutes. Sweeten to taste.

Lipton can be contacted using the information provided on their official website.

Lipton Green Tea Concerns:

No money-back guarantee

Not a strong weight loss aid

Green tea can be an acquired taste

What Does Lipton Green Tea Claim To Do?

The manufacturers provide the following description of the product’s benefits:

Picked with young tea leaves, Lipton Pure Green Tea’s delightfully light, fresh, and non-bitter taste is simply delicious

It’s the refreshing way to brighten your day

Feel awakened and enjoy a moment of feel good in the afternoon

Get the best from your brew in 2 minutes, adding the tea bag first then water so the leaves can unleash their flavor

Lipton Pure Green tea with only 100% Rainforest Alliance certified tea bags

For a taste that’s a little more lively, enjoy it hot or cooled over ice

Does Lipton Green Tea Work?

Green tea contains a range of polyphenols, including one sub-group called catechins, which studies have focused upon. One study found that participants who drank beverages high in catechins extracted from green tea (690 mg/d) lost significantly more weight and body fat than those who drank beverages low in catechins (22 mg/d).

Green tea also contains naturally occurring caffeine, which will increase energy levels and potentially cause a slight increase to the body’s metabolic rate for a few hours after consumption.

Because Lipton Green Tea is a brewed beverage, and not a supplement, the amounts of caffeine, catechins and other antioxidants found in each cup of the beverage will vary.

One study, published by consumerlabs.com and reported on by the New York Times, found that Lipton Green Tea did not offer the highest quantity of catechins per cup out of the brands tested, but it did offer the best value for money in terms of the cost per serving of catechins, compared with loose leaf teas.

Possibly the biggest advantage that green teas, including Lipton Green Tea, have, is that they are a zero calorie drink. Obviously, adding sugar or honey would add to the calorific value of the drink, but if taken unsweetened, and if replacing a higher calorie beverage such as energy drinks, soft drinks, fruit juices, and drinks containing milk such as lattes, the consumer could easily lose weight over a prolonged period of use.

Green tea could also aid some weight loss through increasing thermogenesis in the body, although clinical trials suggest that the effect is ‘small but significant’.

What Are The Ingredients of Lipton Green Tea?

There is only one active ingredient found in Lipton Green Tea, which is, unsurprisingly, green tea. Any other ingredients listed are flavourings found in the flavoured varieties of the tea.

Green Tea: Green tea is high in a group of antioxidants called catechins. Studies have suggested that catechins increase thermogenesis in the body, whilst the naturally occurring caffeine increases energy expenditure by boosting the metabolism slightly for few hours, as well as boosting energy levels. Theanine is also found in green tea, and is thought to reduce the side effects of caffeine such as jitteriness, without reducing its effectiveness. Source: http://ift.tt/1tcW0bf

Does Lipton Green Tea Have Any Side Effects?

Green tea is a source of caffeine, which can cause side effects such as headaches, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, heart palpitations, increased urination, dehydration, jitteriness, dizziness and insomnia. Green tea can also cause constipation.

Caution: Not suitable for pregnant or breastfeeding women. Not suitable for anyone under the age of 18. Not suitable for anyone who has liver damage. Discontinue use and consult your doctor if any adverse reactions occur. Not suitable for anyone who is sensitive to caffeine.

Are There Any Customer Reviews For Lipton Green Tea?

There are thousands of customer reviews for Lipton Green Tea online. As Lipton Green Tea is sold as a tea drunk for its flavour, and is not promoted as a weight loss aid or health item, this means that whilst there are many customer reviews for this product, they do not focus upon the potential weight loss benefits.

Very fragrant, however flavor is light and subtle. You can steep extra long for stronger taste. Just use the right temp so it doesn’t get bitter.

my blood pressure is around 135/91-93 and using this allowed me to keep it low to manageable around 128/85. I used 4 pouches daily if that helps you compare. I’ve actually ordered this tea many times now so it works pretty well.

I love these tea so much, it detoxes, has helped me tremendously with my skin

Recently, I switched from Bigelow green tea to Lipton, due to such great reviews for Lipton. First of all let me say, the switch was great. While Lipton is a little bit more expensive, the flavor and health benefits make up for it completely. Great product, I recommend it.

I’ve been trying to drink more green tea for health reasons and Lipton’s addition of fruit flavors to the blend really enhances the taste. The fruit flavors aren’t strong so they don’t overpower the subtle flavor of the green tea itself. I still need a cup of strong black tea first thing in the morning but a cup of the fruit flavored green tea in the early afternoon is very refreshing. I’ve tried most of the flavors and my favorites so far are the Red Goji Raspberry and the Orange Passionfruit Jasmine.

Does Lipton Green Tea Offer a Money-Back Guarantee?

Lipton do not offer a money-back guarantee.

Where Can I Buy Lipton Green Tea?

Lipton Green Tea can be purchased from most well-stocked supermarkets. It can also be purchased from Amazon. A box of 100 teabags of green tea costs $5.89. The flavoured versions are more expensive, with a box of 20 Green Tea with Purple Acai & Blueberry teabags costing $7.79.

A 40 count box of Lipton Green Tea costs $3.48 from Walmart. A 20 count box costs $2.37 from Target.

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