#also while we’re at it I followed two blogs whose OLD names were

[opiote]

Okay everyone there was a blog I followed on my deleted account that was just short comedic writings about the trials and tribulations of a guy who was really into shitty cars. Like the whole blog was just short stories about someone modding old piece of shit cars and the shenanigans that resulted from that. Someone please remember it and tell me the blog name

[anothertimdrakestan]

Lovebirds Damian Wayne x Reader

Words: 2.8k

Requested? Yes! From a few lovely anons!

“So far i am loving your blog and went through like all of your writing🥰💖💖💖💗💞! I was wondering if you could do 'star sapphire corp reader' x damien please? Like them getting together” and “Could you please do sapphire lantern reader with your choice of the batboys meeting on a mission?”

LINK TO PROMPTS  -> REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!

I absolutely love the sapphire corps! Thank you for these adorable requests! Dami plus a lover actually in tune with their emotions- hell they’re powered off the emotions- is too funny and so adorable! Also we are going to pretend that Raven and Damian aren’t a thing even though I’m using the DCAU teen titans alrighty? Plus it gives me a chance to ship BBRAE YEAHHHH! Hope you enjoy!

I’m so sorry it’s long it’s my first fic back I was so excited haha

“Deep breaths and English you got this” you stared at yourself in the mirror of your makeshift room in titan’s tower. Being the youngest member of the star sapphire corps you were the one tasked with the trip to earth, it made sense, no one wanted to work with teenage earthly heroes but you. Finally, a chance to meet a being similar in age to you! No more old hymns about the power earthly love, you were about to experience it first hand. 

Your mentor had called in a favor and you had been escorted to earth by none other than the physical embodiment of flirtatiousness, Hal Jordan. The trip itself was tiring so upon a midnight arrival you retired to your room without meeting anyone. Now, you could hear a bustling of voices, there was so much emotion radiating it seemed slightly overwhelming, so you opted to wait for Hal to come pull you from your room. 

At the familiar knock you shook away your nerves and flexed your hands into fists, feelings your ring almost pushing you to go outside. “Howdy miss l/n! Ready to meet your new team?” You were greeted with the cheesy grin that had apparently wooed your mentor, but always prodded you. “Good morning Hal, temporary team remember?” you replied, letting your aura be picked up by your purple light. Hal coughed awkwardly, “we walk on earth newbie, not many float here” embarrassed, you touched back down, clearing your throat as you exited your quarters. 

As you made your way down the hallway shouting grew, but upon you entering the room went quiet. With a small smile wave you scanned the room, noticing a green boy who was burning a strange looking food, two other boys who had froze to look at you but stood at a large table that made a strange sound, and lastly a raven haired boy who was sharpening a- sword? At ten in the morning? On the couch. The green boy came up to you first, “hello! You must be y/n! I’m Gar, there’s Jaime, Vic, Robin, and Raven isn’t here but she’s also part of the team! Nice to meet’cha!” Trying to keep up with the names Gar started shouting “SHE’S HERE Y’ALL” apparently to summon a woman who looked like the leader, as she was much older. Following her was a younger girl in a purple cloak, you quite liked her look and vibes, though she felt quite closed off. 

After learning more about everyone at a team breakfast with strangely prepared food you were with the team getting suited up as your mission to travel to Celea, a planet whose environment was toxic to any being over 18, making it a “teen titan’s mission” as they called themselves. As some of the titan’s changed into their suits and prepped themselves for combat you bonded with Raven and Blue Beetle as you had all loaded onto the ship fairly easily. “So why do you have a powerless human on your team? Do you not worry for his safety?” you wondered as you watched Robin methodically pack all his gear. “Trust me, Robin could take all of us out if he wanted to, he’s earned his spot on the team from pure skill and being a little bit of a monster- OOMPH” Jaime was cut off by Raven nudging him. You couldn’t help wanting to hear Robin’s story, as you were like him too- powerless but highly trained and craving to do more. Luckily you had a couple hours of flight to get to know the mysterious boy. 

The ship was large, built for a league of heroes apparently. This meant the team had spread out but you had stayed in the piloting area to assure yourself the team was on the right trajectory, apparently Robin was as well. “You actually know where we’re going?” his voice shook you from your calculations. “Yes, I’ve visited Celea before, but never to fight it’s people” you mused, wondering how in just a few years since your visiting a toxic group of manipulative outlaws had attempted to stake their claim to the beautiful Celea. “TT, not much of a fighter?” Robin mused snarkily, his flitted down to the ring on your finger. “Y’know your team here thinks you’re pretty strong, but I’d wager you’d be easy work for me” you teased back, twisting your ring around your finger as Robin came closer to you. 

(TW FOR BLOOD)

Sitting next to you he began, “my abilities come from my skill, my wit, and my determination. I don’t believe you can say the same princess” you scoffed, “you underestimate me Robin, this ring is nothing without me, not the other way around. Powered from my emotional control and my creativity, my skill takes focus and agility not just glorified muscle memory” you winked at him, enjoying the banter. He scoffed in return. “Yes and what can you do with that ring that I cannot defeat with my blades” he mused. This invitation was perfect. You got up jubilantly, started your lecture. “Clearly you lack certain knowledge Robin, hand me one of your so called blades” you stuck your hand out as Robin rolled his eyes handing you a bat-shaped blade. Without a second thought you cut into the side of your arm, wincing at the pain. “Y/N! What are you doin-” you cut Robin off, beginning to channel your power. “You see, true power is the ability to heal any cut your blades could make, to take was has happened and turn it into a place of love, not malice or hate” as you said this, the familiar purple tone washed over your arm, easily mending the break in your skin. You noticed it felt faster than usual, but wiped it off as adrenaline. 

(TW OVER)

At the display of your powers Robin was in awe. “That’s not all I can do” you laughed, creating a small purple hand that pushed Robin’s open jaw closed. He stumbled back angrily, mumbling about accepting your abilities merit. “You impressed now Robin?” you grinned, sticking out your hand to him. He closed the distance, returning your handshake. “Damian.” he said softly. You swallowed, Damian. It was becoming. Your ring began to warmly glow, Damian snapped his hand away wearily as you cooled your emotions. “Oh uh! Sorry, energy burst” you said, it was a half truth at least. Damian nodded, moving to go clean the batarang. 

The rest of the trip was short, upon entering Celea you’d divided, Damian was with you as the both of you entered publicly while Beast Boy and Raven entered covertly, planning to cover you if the diplomatic endeavors went south. Blue Beetle and Cyborg, unfortunately, weren’t allowed in Celea as their tech was apparently very old and triggered the planet’s defense system, so they stayed up in the ship was manning comms, prepared for an air fight. 

Upon entering you were taken straight to the capital, a sapphire corps was a rarity on Celea and they were all excited for your help. You and Damian met the governing leaders, explaining that you were here to help end the tyranny on the dark side of the planet. As you had hoped, they agreed, you could feel their love for their planet was strong, but that was about all the love on the planet as everyone was so young. It felt slightly difficult to keep a reign on your emotions on Celea, the planet itself was a safe haven for children, almost like a giant orphanage ran by beings that reincarnated frequently as to stay alive on the planet, the concept of pure love was foreign to many of the children and unharnessable. It all felt quite isolating in comparison to earth, a planet driven by intense emotions. 

“You look tired already” Damian mused. “I’m fine, just not a huge fan of a child-only planet” you responded as you made your way towards the large base, preparing yourself for a fight. Before Damian could respond you were joined by Raven and Gar. Their presence eased some of the pressure. “You guys love each other, it’s refreshing” you said, both of them froze, staring at you. “Oh uh, we haven’t really talked about that yet” Raven whispered, staring at Gar who was grinning like a child in a candy shop. “I love you too Rae!” he cheered. “Not how I imagined I’d say it but, yes, I do love you idiot” she huffed. Your cheeks flushed, “oh uh, my bad sorry, it just, seemed so obvious” you giggled, secretly glad you’d brought the two together. 

“Just a couple’a couples!” Beast boy teased, you felt your cheeks redden, glancing to Damian who was now suddenly interested in looking anywhere but at you. You felt your ring begin to glow again, covering it with your other hand. “Oh wow! Look at that! We’re here! Battle time!” you cleared your throat, setting the group focus on infiltrating the rogue base. 

The base itself was relatively small, it hadn’t been flushed out yet but the four of you were here to clear it before they had the chance. Trying to establish a child trafficking ring on a planet of only children was disgusting, and needed stopping before it got the chance. You were especially passionate about this endeavor, the reason for you channeling the power of love was when you lost your sister, that loss of love taught you it’s importance even at a young age, and after training harder than anyone you knew you earned the ring, promising to defend love the way no one defended yours. You would protect these children at any cost. 

There was no need for stealth as you had the permission of the Celean government, it was more of an ambush. As Gar shifted into a large tiger, Raven donned her hood, and Damian stripped himself of the Celean garb, you noticed his Robin suit, littered in weapons and ties, he looked like a hero. There was that damn glow again. Channeling it into your focus you felt the warm aura surround you as you lifted off the ground, ready for a fight. 

“Y/n should say it!” BB roared, Raven nodded in agreement. “Say what?” you looked at Damian. “We have this tradition where the leader says ‘Titan’s Go’ then we fight, and I guess you’re our leader today” he said, you noticed the light tint hiding beneath his mask. “Okay!” you said, positioning yourself, flexing your hand to feel your ring one last time before shouting.

“TITANS GO!” 

And you were off, soaring through the air while BB and Robin took the ground. You noticed a few scared looking kids were being held in pens, and you decided to free them first. As Raven covered you easily, you floated down to the kids, accidentally bonking heads with Robin who stared at you. “I’m so sorry! It’s just we always have to-” “Get the kids out first” he finished your sentence, a small smile dancing at the corner of his mouth. For just a fraction of a second, your eyes flitted down to his lips, feeling his gaze of you the moment felt like slow motion before you both snapped out. “Let’s go! This way!” you used your ring to break the gates as Robin herded the kids out to freedom. 

Glancing up you saw a couple rogues grabbing kids as they tried to run away, your heart stopped when you saw one pull out a laser blaster. “Enough!” you screamed, violet rays exploding from your hands as you easily knocked them out of your way. Leaving your post you flew up and began eradicating anyone who tried to harm a child. “No one hurts my sister!” you screeched, your powers growing stronger by the second as you began dividing your powers between knocking out bad guys and literally carrying children to safety. As the last of the kids were safe you escorted Beast Boy out while you and Raven combined your powers to crunch up the base, making it unfixable and uninhabitable forever. 

Feeling the adrenaline subside you glanced down to see a herd of children cheering, but your focus drew to Damian who was propped up against a barrel, nursing a laser bullet wound. Rushing to his side you quickly pulled open his suit, a trail of blood trickled into your hands. “Damn kevlar doesn’t stop their bullets apparently” he coughed. “Oh my god Damian don’t go” Gar shifted next to you. “He’s not going anywhere” you said, focussing your energy, feeling the pain and imagining turning the warmth of blood into mending, the pools of blood are just pockets of blissful love. 

This wasn’t a good time to tell the team you’d never healed a wound this large before. Positive self talk right? Or negative. 

I’m alone on a planet of useless children, surrounded by a glorified furry, goth, and stocked vigilante. No one is here to help you y/n you’ve gotta do this. You felt the wounds begin to mend, after all that focus you’d barely started. Damian you idiot! If you die right now how will I know why my damn ring is gleaming everytime I see your cute face. Fuck. I didn’t mean cute. Yeah I did. Okay, save the cute face. Maybe kiss the cute face if you save it? Yeah. That’s a good deal y/n let’s do that. Your head was rushing through a million thoughts, anything to motivate you to do the impossible. Halfway there, you could feel it. “Holy cow, look! The wound is closing!” Gar pointed at Damian’s chest. “Y-yeah. No help from you green bean” you mumbled. “Oh I know what’ll help!” Gar squeaked, running off. You turned to Damian who was just staring at you bewildered. “Don’t look at me like that when I’m literally repairing your organs bird boy” you whispered through clenched teeth. 

Then a surge of power came over you, it felt raw and unchanneled, you glanced up to see Gar mid-kiss with Raven, giving you a thumbs up. The love was short lived, but enough to keep your engine revving. Alright girl you got this, heal, then kiss, maybe. Definitely heal first. He has to live. C’mon. “JUST LIVE DAMMIT” you shouted the last bit, feeling the last of your power drain while the wound completely closed. “Holy shit I’m a badass” you whispered, before feeling intensely light headed. 

You woke up in the ship med bay, jolting up. “HE LIVED HE LIVED” you burst up, throwing a fist in the air. The other corps members would be so proud! Your first battle with death you’d won! “You’re right I did live, thanks to you” a familiar voice brought you back down to earth. Next to your bed was Damian, now in casual clothes with a little bandaging on his other wounds. “Oh! uh yeah, you’re totally welcome” you grinned. Awkwardly Damian scooted closer to you. “I think I owe you a certain gratitude” he said, emotions dripping in his voice you hadn’t heard before. 

This time his eyes snapped down to your lips, as he leaned in you felt like you were dreaming. When your lips connected you couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, feeling lightheaded with pure joy. The kiss itself was soft, blissful and lovely. Damian’s lips felt soft against yours, like they fit with yours like a puzzle piece. Pulling away you stared at him shocked. “I could hear your thoughts when you were healing me, had to live up to your expectations” he winked while you covered your face with embarrassment. “Oh my gosh that’s so embarrassing yikes” you mumbled into your hands. You felt Damian’s hand slide under yours, caressing your cheek, drawing your eyes to his. “I thought it was pretty endearing personally, I suppose it’s because I was being saved by the most gorgeous, fascinating girl I know” he mused, before bringing you in for another kiss, this time more passionate, as if to show his feelings through a kiss instead of words. 

You spent the rest of your earthly get-away with the Titans, finding a sort of family with them. When you were called back to your people you promised to return in a few weeks, hoping to move your station to earth. They could always use another lantern right? 

When you returned to your mentor, C.Ferris you told her of your earthly adventures. She laughed, “a Star Sapphire’s greatest strength and weakness all wrapped into a snarky earth boy body” and you couldn’t help but agree. And with that, you were sent back to earth, this time returning as Dove, because every Robin needs a lovebird to help them along the way. 

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Hey, how do you and other Krexie shippers work around the age gap? I mean, I ship Krexie and have my own headcanons, but I'm curious to see what others have done.

I feel like I answered this before several months ago, but I don’t feel like finding that post so I’ll answer again. The full answer to your question is a short essay (and that’s without including the footnotes) so I’m gonna put it under a cut. This is based upon my own experience in the fandom, and the krexie circles I frequent are the ones on FFN, AO3, and of course, here on tumblr. Abuse and grooming (in the context of real people) will be talked about below the cut.

TL;DR I’ve seen three main ways of dealing with the age gap: ignoring it, aging Krel up, and aging Douxie down.

Ignore It

This one actually encompasses two different methods. The first of the two is to treat one or both of the boys’ ages as nebulous, with the maturity level of “teenager” and nothing more explicit since Douxie is about nine centuries old and Akiridion royals live for centuries Krel’s exact age is unknown. In this case, the age of one or both of the boys won’t be mentioned aside from being hundereds of years old. In addition, at least on Douxie’s end, this is somewhat canon. Fun fact: Douxie never calls himself a college student, and neither does Archie. Likewise, neither of them call Douxie 19. That was Steve, who deserved far better of a character arc than just to be the idiot that he is in Wizards. However, even though he deserved better Steve is not a reliable source of information on Douxie’s age, but Douxie and Archie are. In Wizards, the only information Douxie and Archie give on Douxie’s age is that he’s about nine centuries old.[1]

The other method of ignoring the ages is to treat Douxie as a 19-year-old (ignoring the immortality) and Krel as a 16-year-old, and to mention one or both of their ages. Their ages are ignored due to one or both of the following reasons: for one, in real life a three year gap between teenagers doesn’t automatically mean the older person is a predator. It’s something to be cautious about, and the younger person really needs to have people they can trust since if the relationship does turn toxic they would have less power and thus be in more danger (usually, though it is possible for the younger person to be more dangerous to the older one), but that doesn’t automatically mean something bad will happen. The other reason to ignore the boys’ ages is because honestly? If someone needs non-canon ships to tell them which relationships are healthy and which ones are dangerous, then their parents/guardians and teachers have failed them. Fanfic authors, fanartists, and other people creating/consuming fanworks on the internet are not responsible for educating random people on the internet. In fact, they and their content are not responsible for if a random person is abused, even if the abuser uses fanworks to groom the victim. It’s the fault of the abuser for being abusive.[2]

Out of these two methods, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen more using the former method of ignoring than the age gap than the latter.

Age Krel Up

This, again, has two different methods. The more common method is to have Krel (and the other Arcadia Oaks High students) age naturally, until they’re at an age that the fanwork creator is more comfortable with having krexie at. These types of fanworks take place years after the events of Wizards. The other method is to create an au where Krel (and likely the other Arcadia Oaks High students) were already the age the fanwork creator is more comfortable with when Douxie and Krel first met. I, personally, have created a lot of content for the first method, and I’ve seen other people use this method as well. My fake marriage au utilizes the latter method, and this method would also work for au’s where Douxie and Krel are both adults when they meet but the au does not follow canon.

Age Douxie Down

This one also has a basis in canon, though I haven’t seen any other krexie shipper use this method of dealing with the age gap. I, personally, use this whenever I want to make krexie content that’s compliant with Trollhunters and 3Below but also do not want to deal wit backwards time travel because I hate backwards time travel. However, someone should write an au where Douxie and Krel are human high schoolers whose biggest problem is being gay for the guy attending your rival school.

Now, while Douxie and Archie gave Douxie the vague age of about 900 years old and Steve made the assumption that Douxie was a 19-year-old college student, Trollhunters actually went out of its way to show that Douxie was a high school student.

In season two episode 10, Mary reveals that she was dating a student from Arcadia Oaks Academy, and Eli remarked that that was their rival school. I was in high school when Trollhunters was airing, and let me tell you: high schools do not have rivalries with colleges. Arcadia Oaks Academy would have to be a high school, or maybe a k-12 or 6-12. However, it’s far more likely that Arcadia Oaks Academy is a high school with the same age range of students as Arcadia Oaks High. In season three episode 1, Mary excitedly tells Claire that a student from Arcadia Oaks Academy is at Arcadia Oaks High. This student is Douxie, and unless I’m remembering wrong he also mentions attending the Academy. Unless Mary knew all along that Douxie was a wizard and was trying to give him a cover story for why he was hanging out at Arcadia Oaks High only for this information about Mary to be cut from Wizards due to time constraints, there is absolutely no reason for Mary to lie about Douxie’s age to Claire. The fact that Douxie was considered to be a high schooler by most of the fandom (some people had been on the train of “he’s a centuries old adult” for a long time) is why the krexie fanworks created pre-Wizards are all treating Douxie like a high schooler. (Yes, people shipped krexie (or at least consumed/produced fanworks for the ship) before Wizards came out. I have my fic on AO3/FFN and other people’s comments to prove it, as well as some fanart saved to my blog. Sadly, some of the people are now antis, and one them has now harassed at least one krexie shipper.)

Personally, when I age Douxie down, I age him down to 17. Only 17. Not 17-plus-several-centuries-without-aging. In-universe he may try to call himself 1492 years old, but he’s really just 17. However, as I mentioned before, if I’m aging him down to 17 then I’m also completely ignoring the backwards time travel aspects of Wizards. And, by doing that, I end up really changing the lore of Wizards. If you would like more information for the timeline I use when I age Douxie down, please refer to this ask.

In Conclusion

Thank you for reading this. These footnotes aren’t nearly as on topic and are more of a ramble.

[1] Re: Douxie having a really vague age of nine centuries. If you take enough chemistry and physics (but in my experience especially chemistry) courses, you will have it drilled into your head that 900 years old could really be anywhere from 850 to 949 years old. So, while 919 is definitely possible in the age range given by the age of “about 900″, it’s really a give-or-take number. However, if we truly want to be accurate, then if we choose to have Trollhunters take place in the 2016-2017 school year, choose to have had the moppet been between 16 and 19 years old at the Battle of Killahead Bridge, and we consider that the late 12th century (aka the time period of Wizards... supposedly, considering that it is not historically accurate) to be the latter half of that century, then Douxie would have to be somewhere between 834 and 886 years old. If we want a 16-year-old moppet and for the 900 years to be an accurate case of rounding, then the Battle of Killahead Bridge would have needed to be in 1183 at the earliest, which is accurate for the description of late twelfth century. If Douxie were to really be 919 in 2017, then the Battle of Killahead Bridge would have needed to take place somewhere from 1114 to 1117, aka the early twelfth century.

[2] Re: the argument that fanwork creators are not responsible for if an abuser uses their content to groom a victim. When I was a kid, the big scare was that strangers would lure off innocent children with candy. We were told not to go anywhere with a stranger, even if they had candy (or puppies, kittens, etc.) I don’t know how many kids have been hurt by strangers promising candy, nor do I know if this is something kids are still being warned about, but I do know that there isn’t some campaign against candy companies for daring to sell candy that an abuser would use against kids. This is because, as horrible as children being hurt is, it’s not the fault of the candy companies. It’s the fault of the abuser. And likewise, it’s not the fault of a fanwork creator if someone else uses their content to harm others.

PS: A side note since we’re discussing ages. I’ve been in this fandom for years, specifically on tumblr, AO3, and FFN as well as one of the discords. It wasn’t until the krexie discourse started that I started seeing people start calling Krel 14. I had seen people call him 15-16 in the past, because the fandom wasn’t sure if he and Aja were twins or had a minimum of a 9-month gap (assuming, of course, that Akiridions reproduce like humans do). That being said, before the discourse I never saw anyone treat Krel (or Aja, for that matter) like he had a canonical age. 14, however, seems to be something that stemmed from the wiki. You know, the same fan-run wiki that claims that Nomura’s full name is Zelda Nomura even though nowhere in the shows, books, games, or graphic novels is she ever called by that name. Yeah, the Arcadia Oaks-Pedia is not a reputable source. I’m going to give the wiki editors the benefit of Hanlon’s razor and hope that they were just going “well, since Krel is Aja’s younger brother and we’re assuming she’s 15-16 years old like the rest of the protagonists he must be 14-15 years old” and it was only after that that antis took the idea of Krel being 14 as canon and then ran off with it to be cruel and cause chaos.

[hiddcnsclf-a]

My name’s Max, thanks for reading this and for your interest in my blog! I’ve been roleplaying since about 2010, but I took a break for a few years and am just getting back into it now. Evan and Ace were made before I quit writing for a while, and they’re both very special to me. Oliver's new, but he's still just as special, and I'm excited to see where he goes! Note: More info on characters can be found on the desktop version of my blog

Ask me for my discord if you're interested!

This will be a multi-verse blog, I’m open to doing pretty much anything. I know a good amount about Supernatural, the MCU (movies and the Punisher, and Daredevil series), Fruits Basket, BNHA, WTNV, Stranger Things, Naruto, Twilight and that’s just off the top of my mind, I’ll edit this post when i think of more. Note: If I don't know the show/book/movie your character is from I might have a harder time making myself reach out to you. I would still love to roleplay with you if I'm following, though, I'm just a very nervous man

RULES

This blog is 21+, as mun is 24 years old. If you’re younger than 21, I will not interact. If you’re younger than 18, you’ll be blocked. Please respect this boundary.

I don’t do smut, but I am a big fan of darker themes when it comes to my writing. I will tag these threads/posts with a trigger warning, but if I miss one please feel free to let me know. 

On the topic of smut, and me not doing it, I am open to a fade to black. 

One of my biggest triggers is SA/r*pe, and I won’t rp anything along those lines. 

Please be patient with replies, I Am Not Fast (Except for when I am, which is more often than I thought when I made this rule)

Please, if you’re not involved in a thread, don’t like or reblog it. It messes up the notes and I use those to keep track of whose turn it is to respond. 

icons for Evan done by @tutorgirlcommissions absolutely check them out!!!

Triggers will be tagged tw; ___ 

This isn’t so much a rule as it is suggestion; I’m a very socially anxious person and I only reach out first if I’m feeling brave. It’d be really helpful if you could hit me up first. I promise I’m so excited to write with you, especially if we’re mutuals.

If for some reason you have an issue, please speak to me about it. Anon hate/drama of any kind won't be posted.

I don't care about length matching when it comes to replies. As long as I have something to work with, I don't care if its two sentences or two paragraphs. 

Have fun! If something isn’t hitting, we can try something else.

MUSES

Evangeline Elizabeth Sire

Faceclaim: Danielle Campbell

Nicknames: Evan, Ev, Evie

Age: 25

Height: 5'2"

Gender: Female (she/her)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Hobbies and Interests: Magic tricks, and she’s actually begun to do them for small crowds in her town. She doodles here and there but isn’t serious about it. She loves reading about space, poetry, and fantasy.

Bad Habits: Avoidant behavior especially when it comes to sleep, poor personal boundaries

--

Ace Samuel Saccheti

Faceclaim: Maxence Danet Fauvel

Nicknames: 

Age: 26

Height: 5'5"

Gender: Agender (they/them)

Sexuality: Pansexual

Hobbies/Interests: They paint, but are very private about their work. They love casual boxing and fighting in general, but have never been formally trained. Since they work at a gym, they work out often. They’re also a huge fan of games like Pokemon, and Animal Crossing, but they also dabble in a few open world games.

Bad Habits: Smoking cigarettes, picking fights with people for fun.

--

Subject 55 (Oliver Chambers)

Faceclaim: Tom Holland

Age: 24

Height: 6'2

Gender: male (he/him)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Hobbies/ Interests: puzzles, drawing, bird watching

Bad habits: scratching, nail biting

--

I hope to talk to you soon!

[joshjacksons]

Joshua Jackson interview with “Irish Independent”

It was during a childhood visit to his granny’s house in Dublin’s Ballyfermot that Joshua Jackson smoked his first cigarette.

“My memories of those visits to Ballyfermot are quite sweet really,” the Dawson’s Creek actor recalls. “I was always running around with the neighbourhood kids, getting into trouble. Not bad trouble, just little-kid trouble. Although, technically it’s where I smoked my first cigarette, so that in itself isn’t the sweetest memory.”

Jackson’s handsome face surges with deep laughter lines and quiet dimples at the mention of mum Fiona’s home turf. “She might prefer I’d say she was from Chapelizod”, he jokes, before proudly pinning his mum’s allegiance to “Ballyer”.

Was the young Canadian treated like a shiny, exotic object by the local kids? “I was a bit, but I became less exotic the older I got. Culturally, I was so far away from an Irish kid but in a little pack of children, everyone finds their level. It also helped that I had my own cousins, my own blood, around with us. I had that family connection so I never felt too exoticised.”

An entry on his IMDb profile suggests his late grandparents Rosemary and Patrick were opera singers in Dublin, indicating that performance runs in the genes. The actor seems unaware. “Mum tells me they used to sing to each other a lot. My grandparents lived in council housing with a little kitchen out the back, garden right outside, and they would sing to each other through the window as he was out pottering about while she was cooking.

“But he was known more as a snooker shark around Ballyfermot. And my grandmother, she was known as a sainted mother of seven.”

Having welcomed his first child, Janie, with his wife, the actor Jodie Turner-Smith, last year, it’s obvious family is paramount for 43-year-old Jackson, as he Zoom-calls from a rich hotel suite with dark wallpaper and plump cushions in the background. It stems from an evident bond with his mum, whose presence lovingly peppers our conversation. Just 16 when she left Dublin, Fiona Jackson travelled through Paris, Amsterdam and Geneva before embracing the vibrancy of London’s Swinging Sixties and ultimately making for Vancouver in her early twenties.

In an entry on her blog, she speaks of falling for “the spectacular beauty of snow-capped mountains and the Pacific Ocean” and ultimately scoring an entry-level position at a Canadian talent agency. It led to a career as a successful casting agent, working on film classics including Carnal Knowledge with Jack Nicholson and McCabe & Mrs Miller with Warren Beatty and Julie Christie.

She met and married Joshua’s father, John Carter, and the young family moved to Los Angeles. Sister Aisleagh was born shortly before John walked out on the family, leaving a profound effect.

“My father, unfortunately, was not a good father or husband and exited the scene,” the actor disclosed last year, before adding it’s something he “will never get over”.

Young infants in tow, Fiona returned to Vancouver and, having found early success in casting, helped contribute to the foundation of the burgeoning “Hollywood North” industry on the Canadian west coast.

Accompanying his mum on set, young Joshua’s interests were piqued. “She introduced me to this world and saw from a young age that I enjoyed performing in a way that kids do. She allowed me the opportunity to step into her work world, but it was also very clear that it was work.”

He appeared as an extra on MacGyver and as a child actor’s double in The Fly II, and Fiona could see her son’s talent and genuine desire to impress. So she allowed him to audition. However, permission came with strict caveats.

“I don’t think my mum would have ever put me anywhere near the entertainment industry if I didn’t have something to offer to it. And not just for myself; she’s a prideful woman and didn’t want to be embarrassed by her kid.”

Casting 1991 melodrama Crooked Hearts with ER’s Noah Wyle, Fiona gave Joshua a chance to shine. Impressing the filmmakers, the then-12-year-old secured the part, setting him not only on a path to stardom but away from the troubles of his teen years.

“My mother gave me the guard rails I needed at that time and also recognised, being a working single mum and with me a young boy, transitioning into a teenager, I needed structure in my life. I needed something that I was passionate about and had a respect for, because I was kind of a typical teenage disaster.

“I look back on those times in my life and the two parallel tracks I was running on. On the one hand, getting into all sorts of trouble and, on the other hand, my professional life, where I showed up and learned my lines and did my job in order to be respected by the adults I was around. If I hadn’t had that professional side of my life, the other side would have taken over, and Mum saw that. Who knows where I would have ended up?”

So Jackson was a full-on teen delinquent? “Yeah, I was, to a certain extent. It was relatively innocent — nobody died — but I was a teenage boy who didn’t have a father in the home, didn’t have a man to be scared of, frankly, and as a teenage boy, I think that helps. My mum had to work and she wasn’t always in the house so I learned to get into more and more trouble. I got into just enough trouble to have a good time and learn some lessons but if I hadn’t had my work life, I might have tipped over into the kind of trouble that you don’t come back from.”

Three decades in and Jackson remains one of the hardest-working, most recognisable actors in the game. Hitting pay dirt at 18 as Dawson’s Creek’s Pacey Witter — the wisecracking, teacher-bedding antithesis to James Van Der Beek’s beleaguered titular drip — the actor was a revelation: the soul and bite of a seasoned character performer in the guise of relatable poster-boy idol.

Teens swooned, so did the industry, and alongside Van Der Beek, Michelle Williams and Katie Holmes, Jackson had Hollywood at his feet.

A string of popcorn offerings followed — Cruel Intentions, Gossip, Shutter, Cursed — some quality, others derivative, with the small screen ultimately best utilising his skills. A five-season run on sci-fi series Fringe was followed by an outstanding turn on Showtime’s The Affair. Last year, he maintained a brooding presence opposite Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington in Little Fires Everywhere. And this year, he takes on arguably his darkest work yet in Dr Death.

The new miniseries is based on the non-fiction podcast of the same name, and Jackson portrays Christopher Duntsch, a former spinal surgeon who maimed 33 patients owing to gross malpractice while operating in hospitals in Dallas and Fort Worth, Texas. Two of these patients lost their lives. Convicted in 2017, Duntsch is currently in prison and serving life imprisonment. He still maintains his innocence, with his defence arguing that he was merely a bad surgeon, not a criminal.

Exuding a simmering malevolence, the actor showcases Duntsch’s disturbing complexities and terrifying behaviour as a narcissist and sociopath with a keen insight. Did Jackson meet with Duntsch? “I wanted to, but that was going to be really difficult because he’s appealing his case and his lawyers would’ve advised against it. And as I got deeper into the materials and podcast, and got a better understanding of the man, I don’t think it would’ve helped because he still really believes he’s the victim of his own patients, and the lawyers and the legal system. I’m not sure asking a liar for the truth gets you any closer to the truth.”

When it came to the victims, Jackson wanted to maintain a respectful distance. “I didn’t need to drag them through those awful memories again and I’m always a little dubious about asking people to delve into the worst moments of their life just to satisfy my curiosity. The questions had already been asked thanks to the podcast.”

Dr Death came at the right time in the actor’s life. New baby daughter Janie offered a crucial respite from the intense, and often dark, six-month foray into Duntsch’s malignant psyche.

“Inhabiting Mr Duntsch was an ugly space to live in for six months. If I’d been coming home to an empty house every night, it would have been a pretty bleak existence. It was so much better to come back to a loving home. My one-year-old doesn’t give a damn what I was doing that day. She just wants to be loved and hugged and cuddled, and it was the perfect antidote when some days were particularly heavy.”

Recently Jackson confessed that the Dawson’s Creek cast won’t be returning for a retrospective reunion like the Friends stars did earlier this year. “If you put our mid-forties selves together on a couch now, with our creaking backs, it might shock people.”

Quizzed on an actual reboot of the drama, Joshua reckons he’s simply too old to replicate the iconic rapid exchanges of dialogue between the garrulous young characters. “We were like The West Wing for teenagers,” he laughs, referencing Aaron Sorkin’s hit political TV series, also infamous for speedy script delivery. “My 43-year-old brain couldn’t do a show at that pace. Back then, we were doing seven, 10 pages a day and, to deliver dialogue at that speed, you have to have a certain mental capacity for that, and I don’t have it anymore. That’s the real reason why we’re not doing a reunion — I’ve become too dumb to keep up with that script.”

He remains in touch with his DC co-stars, including Holmes, his one-time girlfriend of two years. There’s even a text chain. “It goes through spurts every once in a while. I’ll have a bunch of messages on it and then it’ll go dormant. We’re like college friends — there are moments we’re all in contact and then long, fallow periods as we get on with our lives.”

While maintaining a busy slate, Jackson’s overwhelming purpose continues to circle the women in his life. Turner-Smith is currently shooting a new movie with Adam Driver and Greta Gerwig, so he’s assuming full-time dad duties. It’s an equitable arrangement given the flexible needs of their individual commitments, and one he appears content with.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Lucien’s A Love Not in Vain Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Contains detailed spoilers for a date yet to be released in EN! 🍒

Conversation between Lucien and Dr Sun before the date: here

NOTE: @redqueenschoice​ did the translation for this. All I did was proofread and format :> It’s on my blog because:

Candlelit Night Collection: Gavin // Kiro // Victor

Trivia regarding the name of the date:

This date is called 不负相思意, which is the final line of a poem called “Bu Suan Zi” by Li Zhiyi, a Song Dynasty poet

A loose translation of the stanza: When will the river run dry? / When will my sorrow come to an end? / I wish your heart may be like mine / My love for you will not be in vain.

-

Note: The italicised portions are a mix of both translations and summaries!

-

[ CHAPTER ONE ]

Within the university building, the clear sound of the dismissal bell rings.

Lucien: ...then, we shall end today’s lesson here.

I stand at the door of the classroom, watching as Lucien packs his teaching materials in an orderly manner at the lectern. I subconsciously smile at this sight, since it’s been a long time since I’ve seen this side of him.

MC: Lu-

Female student: Mr Lucien, please wait for a moment!

Just as I’m about to call his name, a female student suddenly runs up to the speaker’s podium. The female student looks like she’s gathering up her courage, then says something to Lucien. Her face is slightly red, and there is a hopeful expression on her face.

Lucien’s expression is as gentle and mild as ever. Without speaking, he simply listens quietly, occasionally nodding politely, the look in his eyes a little distant.

Without realising it, I stand on my tiptoes, trying to hear what they have to say. I catch sight of a pale pink perfume sachet clutched tightly in the student’s hand.

MC: I feel like I’ve seen that somewhere before...

I suddenly remember where I’ve seen it: while researching and preparing materials for the episode on the Matchmaker’s Temple.

MC: Could it be... 

I look at Lucien and the female student, before slowly retracting the hand on the door handle. A subtle emotion blooms in my heart. Before it has time to grow, it dissipates the second Lucien turns his head to look at me.

He walks towards me, eyes brimming with affection.

Lucien: Why didn’t you come in? Have you been waiting long?

MC: ...no, no I haven’t. I just got here. Besides, you seem busy. 

Lucien gives me a blank stare for a moment before smiling, reaching out to run his fingers through some strands of my hair. When I lower my head, I catch sight of the female student, who is no longer smiling while she stands on the speaker’s podium. The student leaves the room in a hurry. 

Lucien follows my line of sight and appears to guess what's in my mind. A smile tugs at his lips before he reaches out to tap my forehead lightly.

Lucien: What wild thoughts are you having now?

MC: I wasn’t having any wild thoughts! I came here to ask for your help with something...

I frantically shake my head, grabbing Lucien’s arm and pulling him along without a second thought, as if that would help steer the conversation away. Lucien laughs lightly, smoothly steering me towards the exit.

~

[ On the university grounds ] 

Lucien: Hmm, I think I’ve guessed it. You specially came all the way to the university... just for a work matter, am I right? 

Lucien lets out a soft sigh as he speaks, but the gaze he gives me is filled with a familiar tenderness and doting.

MC: That’s not entirely true...

Lucien: Hmm? Then, what else is there?

MC: There’s somewhere I want to go with you. Although part of the reason is because of the episode we’re doing next week, but...

As I speak, my footsteps stop. I pinch my ears awkwardly before raising my head to meet his eyes.

MC: That place is very special. I only want to go there with you.

-

[ CHAPTER TWO ]

Lucien and I head to the old matchmaker’s temple in the countryside, which holds a lot of history.

In recent years, a legend regarding a mysterious love story that happened decades ago has been getting attention in the media.

Along the way to the temple, I see many young men and women dressed in traditional clothes. There is a festive atmosphere in the air.

MC: Lucien, look at them. They should be participating in the matchmaker’s temple activities.

Lucien: Mm. Seems like this place is very special indeed. Is that why you only wanted to come here with me?

MC: [blushing] I only said that they're dressed in a very formal manner!

Lucien laughs a little.

Lucien: From what I see, it seems we are a little whimsical. Why don’t we dress up as well?

MC: You... you’re teasing me again!

Lucien: What if I am being serious about it?

I feel embarrassed.

Lucien: What are you thinking about?

MC: Nothing! Let’s hurry up and go!

~

As we walk along a dirt path, I realise that this place looks familiar.

MC: Lucien, have we been here before?

I turn my head to look at Lucien, and see that his lips are pulled into a line, emotions swirling in his eyes.

Lucien: Mm.

??: Meow...

Lucien’s words are interrupted by a mewing sound. A fat cat slinks out of nowhere, rubbing its head against his leg. Its eyes are half-closed, its gaze drifting towards me. 

Vaguely, I feel like I've seen this black and white cat before somewhere. When it looks at me, memories surface like a bolt of lightning, and I call out its name excitedly.

MC: Precious!?

After walking a little further along the mountain road, we finally reach Precious’ home. It’s a house of traditional make, with a courtyard just as refined and tranquil as in my memories. Dyed fabrics, threads of all colours, and interesting embroidery are placed in various corners, just as they were before. 

It’s as if nothing has changed at all.

Old grandmother: It seems we really have fate with you! When Precious escaped from the house today, he brought the two of you back with him!

MC: It really is such a coincidence. This explains why the road earlier looked so familiar. The previous time I came, I didn’t realise you stayed at the foot of the mountain of the matchmaking temple.

Old grandmother: This temple suddenly became so lively, and the festival is also drawing near. Ah, are the two of you perhaps here to visit the matchmaking temple?

I nod at first, but when I think of the implications, I become flustered and start to shake my head.

MC: Actually, we...

Lucien: Yes. We are here to visit the matchmaking temple. 

Lucien holds my hand tightly in his, before smiling politely at the old grandmother. The old grandmother smiles brightly, and I can feel my cheeks heat up. Feeling two pairs of eyes on me, I quickly change the topic.

MC: That’s right! Granny, did you know about the ‘legend’ of the matchmaking temple? It’s said that a few decades ago, a pair of lovers whose relationship was rejected by their families ran to the matchmaking temple. But after the man contracted leukaemia and died, the woman also vanished mysteriously... After that, the peach tree planted in the backyard blossomed and attracted many butterflies which surrounded it. That’s why the media has dubbed it the “Legend of the Butterfly Lovers”.

[Trivia from Red: “Legend of the Butterfly Lovers” - a pair of devoted lovers cannot be together when the woman, Zhu, has already been promised to another man by her family. The man, Liang, dies from grief and illness. On the day of Zhu’s marriage, she leaves the procession to pay her respects at Liang’s grave, and begs for the grave to open up. With a crack of thunder, it does, and Zhu throws herself into the grave to join Liang. Their spirits emerge as a pair of butterflies, flying away together, never to be separated ever again.]

Old grandmother: [laughs] Where did such a mystifying story come from! Most of it would have been made up by others. Those legends are all fake! Normal people have to part ways in the end, whether they choose to leave each other life, or are separated by death.

Hearing such grim words, I feel slightly depressed. Lucien opens his mouth to speak.

Lucien: I think this legend came about because people believe in something beautiful. “Out of a million people, only a pair of Butterfly Lovers will become butterflies.”

[Trivia from Red: Lucien is quoting a book called “被结婚” (”Getting Married”) by Yibei. The full paragraph is 大概一千万人之中，才有一双梁祝，可以化蝶。其他化为蛾、蟑螂、蚊蚋、苍蝇、金龟子... 就是化不成蝶, which translate to: “Out of a million people, only one pair of Butterfly Lovers will become butterflies. Others become moths, cockroaches, insects, flies and scarabs... just not butterflies.”]

Lucien: Love that transcends death is, of course, precious. But it is already difficult for people to be deeply in love up to the moment of death. Besides, these two feelings cannot be separated or differentiated. 

Lucien pats my hand gently.

Lucien: So, there’s no need to be upset about it.

Lucien’s voice is soft and gentle, but it settles my heart and puts it at ease.

Old grandmother: Ah, it’s this old woman’s fault for speaking too much! The two of you are still young, and have a long time ahead. As for what we were talking about earlier, the matchmaker you’re about to visit is very efficient! If the two of you are genuine, you will definitely receive blessings!

Old grandmother: But... dressing like this won’t do. I have a change of clothes with me. If the both of you don’t mind, perhaps you could make use of them.

~

Old grandmother: Do the clothes fit?

Lucien: Mm, they fit very well. Thank you for the hard work you put into these.

Old grandmother: Just now, MC asked if she could learn how to do embroidery from me, but I told her there would be some difficulties. Instead, she asked if I could teach her how to tie a “True Lover’s Knot”. When I asked if she wanted to tie one for you, she turned red and refused to let me tell you!

[Trivia from Red: True Lover’s Knot (同心结 - “same heart knot”) symbolises love, friendship and affection]

The old grandmother gets flustered and covers her mouth with her hands.

Old grandmother: Oh no! I just told you all of it!

Lucien: Don’t worry, I won’t mention it to her.

At this moment, I step out of the house dressed in a bridal costume. Lucien’s eyes are fixated on me, unable to look away. The old grandmother comments on how beautiful I look, and I fidget nervously with the costume, blushing shyly.

Lucien: Mm. Very pretty.

I suck in a deep breath and begin walking towards the two of them. Even though I still feel shy, I continue walking to Lucien determinedly. He holds out his hand and thinks -

What’s before him right now is what his heart desires. 

-

[ CHAPTER THREE ]

After bidding the old grandmother goodbye, the two of us continue our way up the mountain path towards the matchmaking temple. Along the way, there are many ormosia hosiei trees. 

I admire the scenery, but can’t help getting distracted by the thought of wearing matching outfits with Lucien.

MC: Why did the old grandmother lend us a wedding set...

Lucien: Do you mind it?

MC: Not really. It’s just think everyone has misunderstood the reason why we’re here. 

This is because people who walk past us on the path keep smiling warmly. Some even come up to us, offering their blessings and congratulations. The thought of being a newlywed couple with Lucien in the eyes of others makes me shy.

Lucien: I don’t find it a bother to be misunderstood like this. If you mind, however...

MC: I... I don’t mind! Let’s hurry. If we aren’t fast enough, there will be many people queuing up as well!

When we reach the temple, I start gathering all the things we need, such as incense and joss paper. Lucien asks me to wait for a moment, and walks over to the lady boss to speak with her quietly.

While waiting for him, I notice a palmistry booth set up not too far away ,and ask for a reading for my affinity and marriage. The practitioner studies my hand carefully. But the more he looks, the more his smile seems to face. I start to grow nervous.

MC: Is there a problem?

Practitioner: Little Miss, your ‘marriage affinity’ line is too faint and I can’t see it clearly.

[Note from Red: time to boost your affinity stats MC UPGRADE THE COMPANY]

MC: [panicking] How can that be? Look again a little more carefully, please...

Practitioner: This matchmaking temple ties the red thread on your ankle. Anyway, your marriage affinity is invisible and cannot be seen or felt. So, Little Miss, there’s no need to be worried. 

He pours me a cup of tea to calm me down, and I ask what the tea is. He tells me that it’s a ‘linking affinity’ tea, and that I should give a cup to my newlywed husband when he comes over.

MC: He still isn’t... the tea is quite bitter...

[Note from Red: I SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING THERE MC]

Lucien reappears with a pair of flat soled women’s shoes, bends down in front of me and begins to take off my current shoes. The shoes are traditional in appearance to match the outfit, but they don’t fit me well, and it would become a struggle to climb the mountain path. The back of my feet hurt. 

Lucien: Even though this silly girl tried so hard to hide it from me, I still found out in the end. 

Embarrassed, I try to pull my feet away to do it on my own, but Lucien insists and helps me put on the shoes with tender carefulness. When he finishes, I reach for the cup of tea on the table and hold it out to him. 

MC: Lucien, are you thirsty?

Lucien: No, why do you ask?

MC: But the tea here is really delicious! Do you want to try some?

Lucien: Is that so? Then I wonder why a certain someone had a frown on her face and commented that the tea was bitter earlier.

I flush, holding out the tea cup awkwardly with a hand as I try to think of what to say. Lucien seems to enjoy looking at my face and watching my expressions.

Practitioner: The tea tastes bitter, but it has a sweet aftertaste!

I latch on to the excuse like, word for word, ‘a drowning man clinging to a tree branch’.

MC: That’s right, that’s right, that’s right! Now my mouth feels like I’ve just eaten a piece of candy!

Lucien laughs a little.

Lucien: When you put it like that, it’s hard not to be moved. Since that’s the case, I will definitely have to drink it well.

At first, Lucien reaches out for the tea cup on the table. But his hand suddenly pauses in mid-air, changes direction, and grasps my hand instead. While I panic, Lucien brings the teacup in my hand to his lips and takes a sip.

Lucien: Yes, very sweet. 

-

[ CHAPTER FOUR ]

It takes an hour for us to leave the matchmaking temple. Holding a red perfumed sachet in my hand and two red strings, I pull Lucien along with me under the peach tree in the backyard.

I recall my experience in the matchmaking temple earlier, where we got a red perfumed sachet instead of a light pink one like how previous people did. The staff explained that single people get a pink sachet while lovers get a red one. They also wished us a happy relationship that will last a hundred years.

While I stare dazedly at the red sachet in my hand, Lucien thanks the staff.

Remembering the way he had smiled at the sight of the red sachet, I am a little embarrassed and my cheeks turn red. Following the other visitors, I tie the first red string we obtained from the temple onto one of the tree branches and am about to reach for the second one when Lucien stops me. 

Lucien: Here I was, wondering why you were trying to take my red string away. So this is the reason...

MC: ...the staff told me that if I tie the strings together, the gods will see it more easily! Besides...

Before I can continue, I shut my mouth. When two people tie their strings together, it signifies 以树为媒，天地作证“ (i.e. take the trees as your matchmaker, heaven and earth will bear witness to your union).

Lucien: Besides...?

MC: It’s just a better guarantee that the gods will notice it!

Lucien: But you seem to be missing something.

Lucien places his red string into my palm.

Lucien: This red string of mine - would you be willing to help me keep it?

I panic at his words and Lucien laughs, pulling away.

Lucien: All right, I won’t tease you. 

There’s a commotion from a group nearby, and I wonder if it’s the famous “affinity stone” they’re looking at. 

The affinity stone is the other attraction of the mountain aside from the matchmaking temple, and it is said to bless people with good marriage affinity. 

Lucien nudges me lightly towards the group. 

Lucien: Let’s go over and see.

We queue up for a while and finally reach the affinity stone. After a moment, Lucien takes my hand. 

Lucien: Aren’t you going forward to pray?

I think for a moment, then shake my head.

MC: Better not. Too many of my wishes have already come true today. The gods might think that I’m too greedy.

MC: Actually, before we came here, I visited the palm reader. He said my marriage affinity line is too faint to be seen, but he also said afterwards that the red string of fate tying people together is invisible too.

MC: But now, I feel like I understand. Fate has always been something mystical and cannot be changed - only treasured. Am I right?

After saying these words, I try to dispel my negative thoughts. But Lucien makes a thoughtful expression.

MC: Lucien, do you want to offer a prayer? Ah, what nonsense am I saying? You’re a scientist, so you probably don’t believe in any of this....

Lucien: It’s not because of the reason you’ve mentioned. It’s just that in my opinion, there’s no need to do such a thing.

The wind blows. At this moment, many butterflies suddenly flutter over to the peach tree we are standing under. I reach out to touch a butterfly, and Lucien imitates me. A butterfly lands where our fingertips touch.

MC: Lucien, look! So pretty.

Lucien: Who says affinity is invisible? Before me right now, isn’t affinity made visible? 

He looks at me with calm certainty and sincerity in his eyes. 

-

After visiting the affinity stone, I begin to tie a decorative chinese knot.

Lucien: What are you tying?

MC: I’m making something that can be worn on the wrist, although I don’t know if it’d turn out well. 

Lucien: I'm looking forward to it. However, do you not have enough strings? Why have you taken mine as well? 

MC: ...I wanted to make one for you too!

Lucien: But as far as I’m aware, a red string with a knot to be worn around the wrist has a special meaning.

MC: I-is... is that so?

Lucien: If lovers wear them, it symbolises “lifelong love”. But if a single person wears it, it means “peace and safety”. This time, which should I believe?

MC: Err...

Upon seeing my stunned face, Lucien simply laughs and reaches out to poke me gently on the nose.

Lucien: It’s alright. I just couldn’t resist teasing you. You don’t need to...

Before he can complete his sentence, I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him on the cheek lightly. 

Lucien’s eyes go wide, and his smile deepens. Heart racing, I say in a voice just loud enough for the both of us to hear:

MC: The first meaning!

-

[ CHAPTER FIVE ]

Since it’s getting late, Lucien and I head back down the mountain path. I take out the “Lover’s Knot” that I made earlier using the strings from the temple, and place it in Lucien’s hand.

MC: This one is done! Here, see if it fits.

The knot isn’t very fancy or elaborate, but it contains all my sincerity. The other half-completed knot is clutched tightly in my own hand.

Lucien: This knot...

Has he seen through me?

[Note from Red: no shit mc you’re as subtle as a wrecking ball in a china shop]

Smiling, Lucien slips the knot onto his left wrist very carefully.

Lucien: It fits very well. You did a good job. Compared to the peace knot you made the last time, you’ve improved a lot.

MC: That was my first time!

Lucien: Did you have a lot of practice?

MC: Instead of practicing, I discovered the secret to making a good knot! The secret is... when you make the knot, you have to think about the person who’s going to be wearing it! That way, your thoughts and feelings will be woven into the knot!

Lucien: Did someone tell you this secret?

MC: I really can’t hide anything from you! Actually, I asked the old grandmother to teach me a little earlier. She said that “two strings tied together are called a ‘knot’. The fate of two people tied together is also called a ‘knot’. The ‘Lover’s Knot’ is not just a decoration, but symbolises love and longing between two people.

Lucien: So, it holds much meaning. Thank you for telling me.

When our gazes meet, it’s as if the world has fallen silent, leaving nothing but the echo of our heartbeats. The scenery around me seems to lose all colour, except for Lucien and the red fruit of the ormosia hosiei trees.

[Trivia from Red: They are also called love seeds, symbolising love and fidelity. In countries such as China and Taiwan, men often give these red beans to their lovers as an expression of commitment. It’s also a cultural belief that if married couples put six red beans underneath each of their pillows, their love will remain throughout eternity.]

MC: “Love seeds embedded in ivory dice, my yearning for you engraved into my bones...”

Even though I say this softly, it reaches Lucien’s ears. His eyes are wavering, and he seems to have been caught off guard by my words. I realise what I just said aloud and hurry to clear up the misunderstanding.

MC: It’s just a quote I really liked when I was a student! I even wrote it down on a bookmark! I just said it aloud when I saw the scenery...

Lucien doesn’t say a word, and only smiles at me. After a few moments, he speaks.

Lucien: Do you have any inspiration for the next episode yet? 

I nod at first, but shake my head afterwards.

MC: About the legend of the matchmaking temple, I’m not sure which is the best angle to approach it... There are people who love each other till they die, and there are also people who carry the love of another person as they walk alone. Doing either requires courage, but as you said, both cannot be differentiated...

Lucien: If you don’t know how to approach it, how about thinking about it from a different perspective, or finding new inspiration? Would you be willing to listen to my suggestion?

MC: Of course!

Lucien: As you were saying earlier, when two strings are tied together, they form a knot. When tied on the wrists, they hold two people together.

MC: What you’re saying is that love is what ties people together? That it’s something like the red string of fate?

Lucien: Even if two people aren’t together, their mutual longing for each other can be felt through the string of fate that connects them.

Lucien picks up one end of the knot tied around his wrist. With the other hand, he takes the end of the string in my hand.

Lucien: When tied together by fate, even if separated at the ends of the world, it will never break. 

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Never Find Another Like Me

Summary: Adrien and Marinette break up after two years of dating, both seeing each other as friends. This doesn’t stop some people (Lila) from saying that Marinette cheated on Adrien or that she was using him. All Marinette can reply when the class begins to pull away is that they’ll never find another like her, before she heads off for New York for the summer.

 She’s right.

Pairings: MC/Hades, past Adrinette, Marinette/Cerberus

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Breaking up with Adrien had been hard. It had been really hard. 

 They had started dating when they were sixteen and firmly sick of Lila and all the bullshit. They started dating and it was fun and light and… well, charming.

But that was it.

 Charming, like a fairy tale. But it wasn’t… it wasn’t romantic. Not really.

 It was all the romance of flowers and chocolates and candlelit dinners. Which she did enjoy but then she saw the others in their class

She saw Juleka light up when Rose got her a murder mystery book or saw how happy Nino was when Alya surprised him with tickets to some random indie movie she knew he liked.

 Hell- Kim was super attentive to his girlfriend and boyfriend and knew things about them most didn’t. She remembered being weirded out Kim had picked up a bird skull to give to Odine before learning she liked bones. 

 But her and Adrien? Flowers and chocolates and pastries and the technical movements of romance without actual romance. It was fun. It was light.

 But it wasn’t… it wasn’t romance. Not really romance, not the romance of people actually in love. 

 They broke up age eighteen, both smiling and hugging each other goodbye after they had finally fully spoken to each other.

 He knew she liked sewing and cooking and video games but when he thought romance he didn’t think of her interests. When she thought romance she didn’t think of his interests. And that was okay. 

 “We should have stuck to friends,” Adrien said, hugging her tightly.

 “Yeah, but hey- we’re smarter then we were before.” Marinette pulled away with a smile. She gave him a long look before chuckling. “I’m never going to find another like you.”

 “I’ll never find another like you.” Adrien shrugged. “It sucks but…” Marinette laughed and hugged him again.

 “But it’s the best for us.” 

 It still hurt. She had held onto her fantasies for years, dreaming of being with him, of dating him and having a life together. But the more time spent with him the more she realized that they were incompatible in many ways.

 He was a romantic who enjoyed the big displays and the grandness of romance. She enjoyed a day spent with her partner and having a quiet dinner together. She wanted kids, a family with a pet and to grow old together. He wanted to travel the world and meet new people. He didn’t want kids, to scared to be like his dad- and in a way wanted to piss off his father by never continuing the Agreste line- something he always said in a mocking tone. 

 In the end, their last few months of dating was more them pretending for the public so people- Lila mostly- would leave him alone. But now, Marinette was going to New York for the summer break. They were eighteen and Adrien was finally allowed to do what he wanted thanks to a clause in his trust fund that let him move out of his house and move into a small apartment. He was allowed to go after what he wanted. She was happy for him.

 They announced their break up to the class, and Marinette was not surprised when Lila began speaking in a ‘low voice’ about how odd it was that Marinette was suddenly breaking up with Adrien after getting her internship. 

 It split the class.

 Lila had been a thorn to Marinette ever since they were fifteen and she had not mellowed. Sure, she had stopped some of her lies when it became obvious that the class might actually know better- Lila learning Marinette designed for Jagged and that Rose knew Ali was a highlight for Marinette- but she was still an utter bitch. She also had gotten nasty in her pursuit of Adrien, and it took him going to the police and to social media to tell her off for her to back off.

 The class…  only Nathanael knew the truth- because he remembered she knew Jagged way before anyone else- Rose and Juleka only knowing because of Ali. The others followed Lila like dogs. It had hurt at first but… well,  Marinette didn’t mind it much now. She had come to the conclusion- after losing Fu, after her break down and her parents making her go to therapy- that she didn’t care anymore. She was going to love herself and move on. There was no one like her, she was a ten out of ten and she was done trying to protect people who wanted to paint her as jealous or mean.

 Alya had been the worst and Marinette had to really look at their friendship to realize that she and Alya had never had an equal friendship and that both had bigger priorities over each other. It wasn’t like one of them was more important in the friendship but neither had really told each other everything and both were a little focused on their own issues. 

 It didn’t help that Alya had the expectation that Marinette should always be willing to help her out, even when she was busy. Marinette had finally had enough when Alya tried to dump the twins on her again and she’d gone to Alya’s mother about it. Alya had been furious until she had been told off by almost everyone in the class for her actions in randomly dumping the twins on Marinette. Even Nino didn’t think it was cool. Marinette said she wouldn’t have minded covering a date or two but not as much as Alya dumped the twins on her.

 Alya had to face facts after that and the two sat down to finally lay their crumbling friendship to rest, both agreeing that in the end they hadn’t been good friends to each other with Alya ditching her for her blog or foisting the twins off her so much and the various Adrien plots while Marinette admitted her ditching Alya cause she was terrified of Akumas and her disinterest in the blog and Alyas reporting classes wasn’t that great either.

 They parted as ex-friends but remained friendly. Alya as well had toned down her ‘Marinette is jealous’ spiel. She still believed Lila but had given up trying to make Marinette like the girl. 

 She was among the few who didn’t seem to think Marinette would use Adrien, and it was the first time Marinette had seen her and Lila argue. It made Marinette send the Italian a smug smirk before she walked off.

 As for the others? Kim, Max, Ivan, Mylene, Sabrina and Nino? Well, she looked them all in the face and told them, loudly.

 “You think I’m that conniving? You think I’m like that. Fine, but we aren’t friends anymore. And let me tell you- you’re never going to find another like me. You’ll never have another friend like me. To bad, so sad. Goodbye.” she left with a wave and headed to the airport, Miraculous Box in her backpack.

 She was heading to New York- not with the asshole that was Audrey but to intern under someone Jagged knew. It was going to be fun and she couldn’t wait.

She would have to go back to Paris every once in a while to deal with Akumas but Hawkmoth had toned down his actions in recent years. He seemed less into the whole thing honestly. She remembered talking about it with her class and Alya had jokingly suggested he was getting laid.

 Maybe he was.

 -0-

  New York was amazing and Marinette loved her work. Her grandma had contacted the daughter of a friend of her’s- Melody Conners- and the woman had agreed to let Marinette stay with her. Melody was some sort of government person from what Marinette understood who baked for fun and thus Marinette enjoyed joining in when she could.

 She saw so many interesting things, ogled cute boys and girls and was just happy in general. Paris and even Lila were far from her mind. 

 More so when Melody asked if she minded if she had a dinner party at the apartment for her and her coworkers and boyfriend.

 “Hades, my boyfriend, is technically my boss but not? I’m not directly under him but he is higher up and has a lot of clout. We’re revealing we’re dating to a few people and his apartment building is being renovated for some reason.” 

 “That’s fine.” Said Marinette. “Whose all coming? Is it alright if I’m here?”

 “Yeah it’s alright and there’s me, May- you’ve met her- Alex Cyrpin who we all call Cyrpin, Suzan, Jeff, Cerberus, Persephone and- okay you’re gaze is weird.”

 “Your boyfriend is Hades and you know a Cerberus and Persephone.”

 “Hades parents were weird and his brother Zeus- yes I know- decided to name his daughter Persephone. She lives with her uncle though and no they’re not dating they both make faces when the Old Myths are brought up.” Melody put a lot of emphasis on the words old myths for some reason, making Marinette frown and plan to speak with the Kwami. “My brother Josh will be here to.” 

 Marinette has met May and Josh, and briefly saw Cyrpin one day when they had come to grab Melody for something neither spoke about so it’s not a big deal.

 Speaking with the Kwami that night, in hushed whispers, reveals a lot.

 Like the fact that the people she’s about to meet, Hades and Persephone are probably actual gods.

 “They aren’t like us. They reincarnate into new bodies when their old ones die. The Old Myths were real but it changed over time. Or they were misinterpreted.” Tikki explained. “I know Persephone went to live with Hades to avoid her father and stepmother not to marry him.”

 “Is Cerberus human?” Asked Marinette- honestly just curious. Tikki laughed.

 “He is. Now. He doesn’t remember being a dog. I don’t know what happened but most of the monsters started reincarnating as humans. They don’t remember their pasts like the gods but they’re around to.” Tikki told her. “Their powers became what they call Auras, taking various shapes.”

 “Huh. That’s good to know thanks.” It also made  Marinette think she could probably tell them about the Miraculous. She loved Paris but the more time she spent in New York the more she loved it. As well Paris was full of memories of Akumas and fighting for her life. New York wasn’t. She didn’t want to stay in a city that every time she turned around she remembered seeing Chat die or remembered being stabbed. She knew Chat felt the same and so did their fellow heroes. They couldn’t stay. 

 If she spoke to the gods maybe they would ignore her a little or at least keep an eye on her but not bug her. It was an idea anyway.

-0-

 The dinner party started out nicely. The apartment was filled with people and Marinette had to put away the cot she used to sleep but it was really nice to meet so many people. And apparently, Cyrpin knew her boss- she was their sister apparently- and enjoyed talking fashion enough that Marinette had fun. 

 But the real fun was with Cerberus. He was handsome and had been so confused, standing in the middle of the room and obviously out of his depth. Marinette had smiled and gone up to him to see if we wanted to talk about anything. Perhaps video games.

 He did but he was also very enthusiastic about her designing when he recognized her name as designing for Jagged Stone. He was a fan apparently and the two quickly began talking about music and video games.

 Marinette even found herself agreeing to go frisbee golfing the next day with him after a while after they discussed sports. Marinette had found that while fencing was a bust she loved parkour and frisbee golf- Luka and his sister played- and she was eager to have fun and play again.

 “So, do you actually know anyone here?” She asked him, later and when she stole a glass of wine. Though no one actually cares. Jeff- a coworker on the floor of Melody’s - is British and had some truly spectacular rants about how stupid Americans are about drinking. He’d given two already. One when he saw her picking up a glass and another when another person named Mandy egged him on. Everyone else didn’t care and Melody said she was eighteen and could do what she wanted as long as she did it under her roof and not in public.

 “I know Hades and Melody. Cyprin a little bit I know their mom more then them.” Cerberus answered. “I’m off duty and Hades likes to have us around when he can.” But he looked happier speaking with her and she really liked speaking with him. They have enough in common it’s fun and enough not in common it’s interesting.

 Marinette was about to open her mouth and chat again when the Akuma alarm on her phone went off. She sighed, loudly and pulled it out. “... oh wow.”

 “What’s going on?” Cerberus asked but Marinette was to busy checking out the new Akuma. Lila again but… huh. Looked like she had been finally fully exposed by someone. 

 Marinette looked up to see most of the room looking at her and she made her choice with a quick thought. After all, if there were gods in the room…

 “Tikki, can you come out?” The Kwami did and she looked amused as she did so.

 “Really?” Marinette shrugged and went to her bag to pull out the box and get the glasses, putting them on as the entire room stared.

 “Sorry, have to go save Paris!” She left with a wave and a quick transformation before making a portal and skipping off.

 Beating the Akuma was easy. Lila was a common foe and wrecking her wasn’t a big deal. Dealing with Chat as well wasn’t a pain. He seemed thoughtful and quiet. He did ask if they could talk later and she agreed. They would talk in two days. She wondered why he would ask her to chat with him.

 Going back to the party, Melody was waiting with a first aid kit that Marinette was thankful for because while the cure took away the big things it didn’t always get the smaller stuff on her and she had some cuts. She got herself patched up and chatted with Hades who was more than willing to add her name to their registry of individuals with magic. He was also delighted to speak in some language with Tikki, Persephone joining in, and the other Kwami coming out of the box to join in.

 “You sure you can go frisbee golfing tomorrow?” asked Cerberus and she laughed.

 “Yeah, I’m sure.” It would be fun.

-0-

 Back in Paris, everything had fallen apart. Marinette was gone for the summer and none of them had really realized what it meant. More so when she broke their friendship.

 But they slowly began feeling it.

 The bakery didn’t give them discounts anymore which shocked them. They had been getting discounts? 

 They had known the bakery was pretty well known but not to the extent they learned. It was an incredibly expensive and high-end bakery and they had never known. Why would they? They bought food for the same price as other bakeries.

 But learning the truth, and looking it up, they were shocked. 

 And then came more. Marinette had always been a sounding board for them. She could point out flaws in their viewpoints and offer different ideas. She could figure out how to actually make their ideas work too.

 The first time Max tried to text her an idea, she sent back a reminder she wasn’t his friend and blocked him. He never finished it.

 The time Nino texted her, asking about where to get cheap clothing for a movie he was directing for fun, he was told his number was blocked.

 They felt lost, adrift. But they tried to keep going. At least until they saw the amazing video Kitty Selection did, full of cool clothes and effects, a special mention given to Marinette who helped them out. And then they were lost again.

 Alya was the one it all clicked for. It was when Lila fake sobbed Marinette had sent her nasty messages. Alya was the one to stare at her and ask to see them. Lila said she had deleted them had Alya shaking her head.

 “You know, the more I think about it, the more I see you always blaming Marinette for everything,” Alya told her. And Lila had sobbed and said Marinette was a bully who had tripped her the day before. The class had been angry until Alya said, dryly and colder than ice. “She’s in New York you fucking moron.”

 That shut up the entire group, Lila going pale. Alya walked away without a second thought.

 That was the beginning of the end for Lila. They all looked back and ripped apart each lie she had ever told. She was done, ruined. 

 And when Ladybug came to deal with her, Alya finally got confirmation of something.

 “I don’t know her other than the pest who lies every five seconds.” 

 Lila was done.

 And so was the class. They had broken their friendship with one of the most amazing people they had ever met. They had destroyed their friendship with her and now they had nothing. They didn’t have an amazing friend. They instead had only memories.

 They were never going to find another like her.

-0-

Marinette smiled as she and Cerberus walked around the park, ice cream in hand and Cerberus pretending his brothers weren’t following them. It wasn’t working. 

 “You’re adorable,” she told him and he laughed.

 “You too.” she giggled and leaned her head on his shoulder. “I’ll miss you when you’re in Paris.”

 “I have the Horse Miraculous.” she pointed out. “And I am totally coming here for school. And staying afterwards. Cyprin’s sister knows about me and will totally look the other way when I run over to save Paris, and her employees are mostly monsters or demigods.”

 “True.” Cerberus hugged her sideways. “...Uhh Marinette I… ummm…”

 Marinette lifted an eyebrow and waited. Cerberus opened his mouth then closed it. He shifted on his feet and looked down.

 “Umm… I know you and Chat aren’t together. I mean, you told me about the conversation you two had and stuff…” 

 Ah yes. That one. After she had gone back to Paris for her chat with Chat, she had told Melody everything but only told Cerberus that she had talked with Chat about not getting together.

 In reality, it had been emotional talk filled with yelling and them both unloading their feelings. Chat demanding to really know if she felt nothing, and herself just ripping into him for not listening.

 It had been exhausting but it left them feeling better when they finally got it all out there. They both agreed they cared for one another deeply. More than family or friends. You couldn’t fight magic together and not feel that.

 But it wasn’t… romantic. Not on her end and she was done with him not getting it. He had backed off in the last few years but she had assumed he was dating and wouldn’t do that to his partner. But now he simply needed to know. Would they have a chance?

 “No,” she had told him. “I care for you so deeply, but… Chat you ruined any chance of romantic feelings by not listening when I told you I was in love with someone else. When you threatened to give up the ring when I couldn’t tell you a secret that was not mine to tell. When you agreed to let Alya post that kiss on the Ladyblog without thinking of my feelings. Chat- you are my dearest friend. My best friend. But I’m just not into you.”

 It had been raw and hurtful but they ended their conversation knowing where they stood. Friends- closer than most and probably really leaning into platonic partner territory- but just friends. 

 They still worked well together but it was awkward and probably would be for a while. Like her and Adrien honestly. Sure, they’d been more like buddies then dating but it had been awkward before she left. 

 “I uhhh, welll…” her mind was pulled back to the present and she chuckled as Cerberus tried to stutter out what he wanted.

 “If you’re trying to ask me out, the answer’s yes.” She told him. She heard cheers and Cerberus turned to glare at his brothers while Marinette just laughed before turning his face to her to kiss him.

 She would never find anyone like Adrien. And that was okay.

 Because she found someone in Cerberus. 

 And she would never find another like him, so she was going for it.

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 I don’t hate Adrien but I really wanted Marinette to be upfront and blunt with Chat that he had ruined any chance of her liking him at all. Because he had.

 Look, I know some go oh it’s not harassment but it is. As soon as someone says no and you keep going, that’s harassment. Marinette has said no, that she likes someone else but Chat just won’t knock it off. It’s not okay, it’s not cool and I totally think that Marinette would just full on stop seeing him as an option if he keeps going. Because as a kid, he doesn’t know better. It’s taught by media, by society that a man chasing after a woman should ignore her firm nos. That she doesn’t mean it. So I can make allowances for his actions to a point. 

 But I also know that as someone who has seen people being harassed in real life, that once the line is crossed it can never be taken back. Marinette stopped seeing him as an option when he wouldn’t stop. She still considered him a friend because the two years he didn’t press were some of the best of her life, spending time with him. And the time she spent with him when he wasn’t hitting on her was amazing. 

 But romantic? No, that ship sailed.

But I didn’t want to bash him? I admit this started out really salty, but talking with @anastasian-dreamer I changed it so it was less salty towards him. 

 Also this was mostly me getting a random idea and playing with it. Hope you guys liked it even if most of you probably haven’t played Astoria.

[hopeswriting]

Modern AU (Adult!)Arcobaleno on socials media though. While Flames and mafia are definitely still a thing.

Now I’m by no means well acquainted to all the different popular socials media, but here’s my humble take:

Reborn on Instagram.

He only has pictures of Leon first and foremost, with him in the background in one of his ridiculous but very well-made cosplay. Leon of course also wears the same cosplay as him.

He never shows his full face in any of the pictures, but just enough his followers know he’s handsome as fuck.

The artists/photoshoppers among them regularly put the pieces together to see how he could look like, but in a funny-and-obviously-purposefully-wrong way only.

Reborn loves them and saves them all.

------

Once in a blue moon he does post a picture of himself where you can see him clearly all dressed up and fancy, and then immediately deletes it.

But only after he’s sure it has been seen, so he can watch his followers lose their shit while drinking a nice espresso.

They try hard, but so far none of them managed to save any of the pictures before he deletes them.

------

Often there’s what suspiciously looks like blood stains on their clothes and straight up dead bodies lying in the background, but Reborn went so passive-aggressive with the few who dared to ask, everyone is too afraid to ask now.

Anyone who badmouths Leon in any way is instantly blocked. But only after Reborn ripped them a new one AND let his followers do it too.

*

Skull on Twitter and Snapchat.

He tweets the most random, out of nowhere, highly worrying things, that always sent his followers in a frenzy trying to figure out why the fuck he would think of any of this in the first place??

“aren’t you ever tried of your solid, rigid, restrictive bones? don’t you want to just be Luffy from One Piece, a rubber being that can shape themself in whatever way they wish?”

or:

“nobody ever tells you this, but the stress of picking apart melted leather from your burnt skin before it heals is VERY worth the adrenaline of making fire your BITCH”

or:

“is it REALLY illegal if you break in and eat the food but leave money behind??”

------

That’s just his Twitter only followers though.

The ones on Snapchat have the privilege to watch him stumble head first step by step to his tweets, and are actually very involved and active spectators that keep him out of jail, or killing himself, or killing someone else.

Skull, recording a video, halfway stuck in between two buildings: What’s up guys, there're these guys following me and trying to kill me, quick tell me what bones to break so I can fit in there.

see also:

Skull, riding his bike, both of them suspiciously wet, holding a lighter in his hand: You guys ready for this sick fire stunt I came up with?? If everything goes well I should only get second to third degree burns, let’s do this!!!

see also:

A picture of Skull lying on a roof, his arms full of snacks and his mouth stuffed with food, with police cars in the background, that says: send tips to make sure there’s always food in your fridge for when you need it the most. #midnightsnack #snitchesgetstitches #justsaying

see also:

A picture of Skull crouched in front of a body, posing, that says: don’t worry guys we’re just faking, but hypothetically, if you were to hide a body as quick as possible from here without being seen, what would you do? #hypotheticallyseriousanswersonly #hypotheticallythecopsaremaybeontheirway #quickanswersappreciated

*

Verde on Facebook.

He creates a public group with only him as member that’s basically his scientific diary.

It’s not really to invite intellectual challenging debates (though he’d be all for it if someone smart enough showed up), but he figures it’s in his best interest to make the world a less dumb place if he can.

It finds his public, though there’s only a few comments because god forbid you say something dumb or inaccurate and Verde fucking annihilates you in the comment section.

But like, in a teacher way. Like he’s genuinely trying to make you know better but he’s just ruthless at it lmao.

Verde uses a fake name and a fake everything so there’s quickly a running joke along the lines of “Imagine if it’s really the genius scientist Verde running the group and you just outed yourself as a flat earther lol”.

------

But what gets the group really popular is the in depth flames theory involving weather of all things they have to assume he came up with it all on his own because they can’t figure out to save their lives what the hell he’s talking about?

And it makes them question their sanity sometimes because Verde talks about it like it’s the most obvious thing and in the context of just about every basic aspects of life.

Cue the conspirators and their hot new take of “the aliens were among us all along and hid themselves as the WEATHER!!!” that instantly turns into the new popular meme.

That, and the transcripts posts of Verde trying his theories that nine out of ten apparently involves very unwilling participants whose life are threatened and sometimes they straight up DIE???

------

They think both of these is just him fucking with them and it’s all fictional. They want to think it is anyway.

They’re not so sure, but everyone is too afraid to ask.

*

Colonnello on Snapchat.

70% of his content is about Lal because this man is so in love and it’s like he’s a guest on his own account lol.

There’s the “Pining Hard” content where it’s just him trying to seduce Lal, to romance her and asking her out, and Lal brushing all of it off more often than not.

His followers are very invested in this “old bickering married couple type of best friends in oblivious mutual pining” real live action slow burn fic, and cheers him hard whenever Lal reciprocates the tiniest bit.

------

They don’t know the two are already together.

They think Lal brushing him off or flirting back but in an unmistakably joking/”platonic” way is just her being oblivious and not taking Colonnello seriously.

When she would just rather flirt back off camera because it’s her private life thank you very much.

Colonnello never tells them because he assumes they all know and just choose to be in on the joke.

Lal finds it hilarious whenever she goes through his Snapchat (with his permission of course) to find numerous messages of encouragement, so she never says either.

------

But one day she kind of just steals a kiss from him while he’s recording because she wanted to, and his followers lose their shit.

Lal laughs herself to tears and laughs for days.

------

The other Lal’s related content is the “Lal’s loving hours”, where he just takes pictures of her/records her doing random shit---whether it's her making a disaster out of the kitchen, or wearing three pairs of socks because her feet are cold, or beating the shit out of someone---and him doing heart eyes at the camera.

------

Otherwise it’s just him living his life and letting them in on what happens.

There’s a lot of pictures because he’s handsome and he knows it and he likes the compliments aqsdfghj.

Or videos of him going on and on about how energy drinks are really the best drink ever while doing grocery.

Or ranting videos about how bullets wounds are such a pain to deal with and showing himself patching himself up to show how it’s done (thanks??!!??).

Or him watching series and roasting the characters for their dumb decisions.

Or him commenting in real time an assassination attempt on him in the middle of the night in his own fucking home because the fucker sure is ballsy (????!!!!!!???).

It’s very popular too because of how relatable it is.

Well, most of the time anyway.

*

Viper on Youtube.

They have a DIY type of channel, mostly about fashion---what they think about the new products/clothes they bought from their favorite brand, their thoughts on the new fashion trend, their makeup/skin care routine and favorite outfits for various circumstances, or they’re often on live while going shopping.

(I just really like Fashionista!Viper okay.)

They play videos games too, thinking they’re being very good while being very average to not say they straight up suck asdfghj.

Occasionally do reaction videos too.

------

Like Reborn they hardly ever show their face. Actually they don’t show it at all lol. They wear masks to do their videos because a hood is not very reliable.

How do they do their makeup videos then you ask?

They use "volunteer" as models of course.

And by volunteers I mean the Varia qsdftgyhjkl.

------

They also have another very peculiar brand of videos that is the most popular one on their channel. The titles of these videos include but are not limited to:

“A Due Payment Of Yours Is Late? How To Hunt Them For Sport”

“A Little Bitch Doesn’t Respect Your Pronouns/Chosen Name? Step By Step On How To Make Them Shut The Fuck Up Forever”

“How To Efficiently Remove Blood And Various Others Human Residue From Your Clothes”

“Faking Your Death And Taking On A New Identity: Step By Step Tutorial”

“How To Take Over Your Friends Brains And Watch Them Prank Themselves ft. The Varia”

*

Fon on Tumblr.

His blog becomes known as a shitpost blog or a blog run by a bot when really, everything he posts is about actual, very real events that happened in his life.

Except he vague posts every time because he really wants to keep his anonymity.

He posts about the hardships of learning more and more martial arts and staying at the top of the art, and sounds like some dangerous psychopath.

“The body is such a fragile thing, isn’t it? It tends to break quite easily unfortunately. You’d think I’d know that by then, but I really need to remember it more often so I can keep enjoying myself.”

He’s talking about how he always pushes himself too much in training and ends up injuring himself.

“Everyday I dispose of them and reasserts my superiority, and everyday they come back and it’s really hard to not hurt them beyond repair.”

He’s talking about how he’s often challenged by other martial artists who don’t like him being the best and how he always has to beat them up bloody for them to give up.

He also posts about his family's live except it’s the Hibari’s family live, and he doesn’t sound more sane of mind at all.

“I made the mistake of taking Kyo with me on my grocery trip and picked on his tell-tale signs of going through a bad day too late.

But fortunately the shop is still standing and no one was heavily injured.”

or:

“It’s so heartwarming to see Kyo make friends. The brown haired kid didn’t put much of a fight but the one with the pineapple haircut has potential.

He almost managed to stab him that one time, and I can’t wait to tease Kyo about it. He’s very cute when annoyed and embarrassed.”

or:

“Often I look back to the day Kyo got his tonfa and I am always infinitely grateful for this not-so-easy-to-kill-with weapon.

I would like for him to at least finish high school first.”

Yeah it’s very often about Kyoya lmao. And no one knows for sure what in the world a “Kyo” is supposed to be???

An actual human being is NOT the most popular theory qsdfghn.

*

Lal on TikTok.

I guess?? I’m kind of running out of ideas lol, and I know very little about TikTok.

But I’m thinking she makes a series of videos where she looks straight into the camera like she’s on The Office while some bullshit or the other happens in the background.

And it’s not even always her friends or coworkers or Colonnello (yeah he has a category of his own lmao).

As far as she is concerned everyone who chooses to be a fucking dumbass in her vicinity is asking for it aqsdfghj.

------

Also has a “Doing paperwork” series, and the later at night she’s doing it, the more she’s absolutely fucking done with people not being able to do their job properly without collateral damage.

She dryly reads out loud the highlights of the reports and goes straight for their lives lol.

But as funny as it is, everyone is more interested in the very questionable out of context content of these reports???

------

Also does workout videos, as in she demonstrates how to do this one or other exercise, and if these do particularly well it has nothing to do with how people want to look respectfully at her body, of course not.

ALSO has a “Colonnello’s Loving Hours” series because you better believe this woman is also so much in love.

She records him when he’s simply existing---whether he’s snuggling besides her while they’re watching TV, or dancing in the kitchen while cooking, or cleaning his guns---while looking at the camera with this tender, content expression on her face.

*

They become known as the Weather Lovers because boy, do these people like to go on about their favorite weather. Some shipping might even be involved??

It’s how their community introduces them to each other.

Cue even more chaos on their respective socials medias.

Viper’s video of their first meeting is the most popular one on their channel.

*

Yeah I know, I didn’t add the Sky Arco ladies, but I have no idea what they could do. Pinterest maybe? Or Vine? Dunno, they’re all yours guys lol.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

lover series - daylight

Pairing: Carter Baizen x Reader

Warnings: none

A/N: this is what happens when i mention carter baizen more than once a day. also daylight just fits him as a person??? if you wanna listen to daylight while reading this, here. this was inspired by an ask i got in this blog, thank you for the idea 💕

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in Everyone looked worse in the light There are so many lines that I've crossed, unforgiven I'll tell you truth, but never, "Goodbye"

   - Get out. 

   - What? - Carter looked at the blonde sat next to him whose eyes seemed to wander to everyone but to him. - Don’t be like this. You’re just nervous about meeting your dad.

   - I don’t need your help anymore or ever again. I should have done this on my own from the start.

  - Fine, if that’s what you want. - he opened the door of the limousine, climbing off the comfortable warmth of their vehicle to be greeted with the darkness and coldness of New York during the warmth. Serena, without as much as looking back at the man who had spent a full year helping her find her father, ordered the driver to keep going. Well, he should’ve known better but once again, his judgement tended to be clouded whenever dealing with pretty women. 

Once again he was all alone again, nowhere to go, no one to talk to. He could just fell his parents awaiting for him to return to them on his knees begging to be taken back but at this point there was too much damage done and Carter was much to prideful to return to them. In all honesty, Carter was much to prideful to even stay with New York. After the mess that had been his relationship with Serena, no doubt the rest of the Upper East Side was gonna go after him with every single little dark secret he had, and he had plenty of those. 

With that in mind Carter decided to do what he always did; start again. That’s what he always did when things went south or when the world became too suffocating. However, after doing humanitarian work and a documentary, he wondered what he could do next. Lost in how to reboot his life for what seemed like the millionth time in his young years, a little fall of rain from the sky started to wet his cashmere black trench coat. He bite his lip out of frustration. Of fucking course, that was just what he needed right now. Before he could let out all his frustrations by kicking a nearby bin, drops of water stopped falling on his coat and instead sounded like they were falling onto plastic. 

    - Are you alright, sir? - a melodic, magical-like voice broke through his mind and his eyes travelled to a woman standing next to him. She was holding a plastic umbrella over him which kept both of them dry and away from the rain. Unlike him, she was dressed in a lesser quality fabric, using what looked like a blue waitress dress and some off brand white sneakers with her hair pushed into a ponytail, everything merely covered by a worn out black cotton trench coat. - Sir? 

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you I've been sleepin' so long in a twenty-year dark night And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

Suddenly, he remembered a faithful sentence from one of the movies he had seen during his youth, finally understanding its meaning. They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops. It was true, time did stopped, everything seemed to move in incredibly slow motion, he could see every single blink of the most gorgeous pair of eyes he’d ever met, hear every drop of rain hitting the plastic of the umbrella. However, the later part of the sentence was also true, once time starts again it moves extra fast, and none was that true as a honking bus drove through a puddle of water, waking them both from a dream-like trance. 

     - I saw you being kicked off a car from my diner. You look like you needed help. - she pushed a few of the fly away hairs of her ponytail held together by a blue scrunchie behind her ear. Unlike the girls of Upper East, they weren’t adorned with pearls or heavy jewelled earrings. - Do you wanna come in for a bit, just while the rain doesn’t calm down?

Carter still found himself still staring at her. God, where had she been hiding his whole life? Did she just decide to pop up now that he had been truly humiliated by Serena. Serena, who was even Serena? He didn’t think he’d ever want to think about Serena, Blair, Beth. Who were any of them compared to that woman holding an off brand umbrella over his head as if he wasn’t one of the most hated people in the Upper East. In normal circumstances, he wouldn’t enter any lower ranked places but her smile and comforting aura just made him want to follow her anywhere she went. And so, with a nod, he followed her inside a small diner just in front o the place he had been so unceremoniously dumped. The place was small and empty seemingly with her being probably the last employee before closing time. Nevertheless, there was some charm on the beat up, too used black board by the kitchen window with various pie names written in beautiful chalk calligraphy. 

    - Do you want to eat anything? My treat. - he wondered why she wasn’t charging, why a woman who clearly was much lower than him status wise and could clearly see he was rich offer him something. Normally people would try to quickly rip him off. - I bake them all myself. A new one every single morning. 

   - You bake a new pie every single morning? - he took a seat on one of the red leathered stools by the main table. - Is this your place?

   - No, I just work here but one day I’m gonna have my own place, my own pie shop and people are gonna come from all over the world to try my pies. - she seemed to get lost in her own fantasy before opening the lid of one of the various glass pies stands to take what looked like a wild berry pie slice, serving it perfectly on a freshly washed plate. - A little wild, wild, berry pie. 

  - Pardon? - he asked as she slide the plate towards him, handing him a fork at the same time. 

  - The pie. - she pointed at the board. - It’s the title. Cream patisserie with some berries on traditional pie crust. I got the idea while watching a particularly steamy scene on Sex and the City. 

  - You created the recipe?

  - Where do you think recipes come from? - she smirked at him. - Come on, I promise it’s not poisoned. 

Carter gave her a coyly smile before sinking in his fork in the beautiful berry coloured desert, taking a piece before bring it up to his mouth. As the sweet touched his tongue, he swore like he melted away from his whole body. The taste was fantastic and Carter was certain he had never tasted anything better than that small piece of pie.

   - God, this is fantastic.

   - Thank you, I try my best. - she smiled. - I’m Y/N, by the way. 

   - Carter Baizen. 

Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky And so I became the butt of the joke I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked Clearin' the air, I breathed in the smoke maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now It's brighter now, now

  - Olivia? - Carter mockingly called out, looking around his hotel suit as he wrapped a burgundy red tie around his pristine white shirt. A small high pitched giggle came from behind the leather coach. With a coy smile, Carter slowly moved towards the couch. - Oh, where could my Libbie be?

Another high pitched came from behind the coach and before the three year old could realise what was happening, Carter had already grabbed her by the waist, throwing her to the ceiling before catching her in a fit of giggles, her inherited curly brown hair stuck in front of the same eyes she had definitely gotten from her mother. The little girl giggled once more, tiny arms coming to wrap themselves around her father’s neck. 

  - What are you two doing? - Y/N came out from her bedroom due to all the giggling. Noticing her daughter in her father’s arms she merely rolled her eyes with a smile on her face. - I thought you were supposed to be in bed.

  - We’re just playing hide and seek. - she replied, hiding behind her father’s neck. She surely knew how to avoid confrontation. Y/N merely laughed, walking up to her husband and daughter. - Do you really need to go, mummy?

  - It’s just for a few hours. We’ll be here when you wake up. - Y/N pulled some of her daughter’s hair away from her round, chubby baby face. 

  - Why can’t I go? - she pouted. 

  - You wouldn’t like it, baby. - Carter kissed her cheek before handing her to the nanny who they had hired specifically for tonight. Usually Y/N and Carter didn’t hire nannies as they would rather spend time with their daughter rather than having a complete stranger. Most of the times, Olivia would either be at the pie shop with Y/N or at Carter’s firm office. However, tonight specifically both Carter and Y/N needed to attend a donators gala hosted by none other than Carter’s old fling Serena van der Woodsen. Initially, Carter had been firm on his decision not go, much too uninterested in ever speaking to her or any of her friends ever again. However, after some convincing on Y/N’s part and how he shouldn’t really care about other’s opinion and just enjoy a nice night out, he had caved in. - Trust me, daddy won’t like it either. 

  - Tuck me in? 

  - Okay, baby. - Y/N took over from the nanny, picking her daughter up against her hip before walking away from the main room and into the bedroom of the hotel suit. Carter took to pushing the sheets away from the mattress as Y/N laid her daughter in, puffing her pillows just the way she liked it and pulling the duvet up to her neck. - Now you be a brave good girl for mummy and daddy, okay?

  - Okay. - she nodded, holding onto one of her many stuffed animals. - Night, mummy. Night, daddy. 

 - Goodnight, ladybug. - Carter placed a kiss on his daughter’s forehead before getting up and following his wife out of the hotel room before he could change his mind. His life had gone a completely one eighty every since seeing the group of people he used to hang out with during his youth. He had gotten married to the love of his life who was fiercely by his side no matter what happened, had started his own firm finally riding himself of his parents name, and had brought in the most precious daughter to the world. Whatever happened in the Upper East Side was no longer something that interested him even if he was one of the most wealthy men in New York. He didn’t want Y/N or Olivia to frequent those rotten and cruel places. They were happy in their own little bubble however, sometimes, like tonight, he had to confront the rest of the whole who seemingly still had his eyes on him.

Noticing his tenseness, Y/N intertwined her hand with his, giving him a soft and understanding smile followed by a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

 - You’re gonna be fine, you’ve done way better than everyone in that room. You didn’t inherit what you have, you built it and you should be proud of that, Car. 

  - Well, you have to say that, you’re my wife. - he moved his face slightly so he could kiss her properly. - I can’t believe you’re my wife. 

  - You asked me on a good day. - she looked at the engagement band stacked with her wedding band, simple in silver, nothing too big or too lavish, just something small that both of them liked. 

They were both escorted into the limo with Y/N immediately cuddling up next to her husband unlike so many of his girlfriends before. In all honesty, Carter sometimes thought he was dreaming. He just couldn’t believe he was married to her and if he had told a younger self he would marry someone outside the Upper East circle he wouldn’t have believed it, yet here he was. She was a magnetic, kind, determined woman who had managed to get him out of a rut and push him to his full potential while still living her own dreams. He thought he couldn’t be more in love with her and then she gave him Olivia. He still remembered that faithful New Year’s Eve when she handed him a pregnancy test or when they had to rush out of one of his dinners because she had begun labour. There was nothing in this world that mattered more to Carter Baizen than his girls, something the rest of the Upper East didn’t really understand. However, he was happy, he was happily married, happy with his career and happy with his little ladybug. 

  - Car, are you coming? - Y/N snapped him out of his daze as they reached the gala’s location. Pushing away all the insecurities he had, he pridefully walked down the stairs with Y/N by his side, catching the attention of every single person who stopped their chat to look at the “disgraced” Carter Baizen and the so called “pie girl” he had married.

  - Should we dance? - he gave her grin, offering her his hand eloquently much to her enjoyment. - I wish to dance with the prettiest lady in this room. 

  - Prettiest girl in the room? - she giggled, taking in his hand while the other one held her waist. - Should I ask how many girls in this room you’ve used that line with?

  - Well, Mrs. Baizen, you’re definitely the only one I’ve used that on.

  - You better not be lying to me, Mr. Baizen. 

  - I love you so much, Y/N. - he leaned down to peck her lips, not caring who was watching. 

  - I love you too, Car.

I once believe love would be burning red but it’s golden like daylight

[notebooks-and-tea]

Parse & Folklore: A Ted Talk

Alright everyone, settle down and come have emotions with me about how many of the lyrics from Folklore could apply to Parse. This is a long one so buckle in kiddos. I’m not usually a omgcp blog and I haven’t actually used tumblr in ages but I needed to share my emotions. Someone please yell at me if they have any more thoughts - I’m always here for Parse &/ Taylor rants!  

1. The 1 - let’s be real you could read the entirety of this song as Kent, hopefully having now finally managed to move on from Jack, wistfully thinking back on how nice it would’ve have been if he had indeed been ‘the one’. 

Lyrics that kind of hurt:

We were something, don’t you think so? And if my wishes came true It would've been you In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone      Rosé flowing with your chosen family And it would've been sweet If it could've been me In my defense, I have none For digging up the grave another time 2. Cardigan -  So the concept of this song doesn’t directly relate to Kent but a few of the lines stick out to me a lot and I guess just generally this idea of ‘when you are young they assume you know nothing’ in the context of what Jack and Kent would have been going through when they were in Juniors.

Lyrics that stand out to my angsty heart:

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young I knew I'd curse you for the longest time <--literally just Kent not being able to let go of Jack despite how long it’s been since the draft

3.  My Tears Ricochet - Definitely don’t think about the idea of Kent loving Jack and being cut out and ignored following his overdose while listening to this song. ‘I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace’ when thinking about Kent visiting Jack at Samwell and being rejected, then lashing out is particularly painful okay. You could totally interpret a lot of this song as Kent lashing out at Jack and reminding him that he can cut him out and claim he’s moved on but he’ll always be a part of him and it just makes me sad to think about how that might not actually be true...

Lyrics that make me sad:

Even on my worst day Did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you I swear I loved you Till my dying day  I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And you're the hero flying around saving face <--Jack getting to look like Kent attacked him for no reason as if he doesn’t also owe apologies  'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones    <-- also kind of reminds me of Kent, in his anger when he turns up at Samwell, lashing out and saying that it’s people like him who still care about Jack no matter what

4. Mirrorball - okay literally just one line really sticks out to me and makes me sad so definitely don’t think about Kent having to hide who he is around the Aces, especially when Jack and Bitty kiss on the ice and he’s in the bar and someone whose name I’ve forgotten is being a homophobic dick, while Taylor sings “I'm a mirrorball I can change everything about me to fit in”

5. AUGUST - like the entire song basically? But like specifically these two boys have a month in the summer between winning the memorial cup and the draft and maybe Kent thinks it’s perfect and he’s so hopeful and he knows it has to end because they’re going to be on separate teams but maybe for him, just wanting them to be together is enough, at least for now. But everything goes wrong and Jack slips away and then they lose contact because Jack cuts him out and all Kent knows is that he should have known because he was never really his no matter how much he hoped that would be true. So now he just has those memories of the two of them together that one summer and maybe that kind of makes me want to cry?

Lyrics and sadnessss:

I never needed anything more Whispers Of "Are you sure?" "Never have I ever before" <-- just really hammering in that reminder that they were just kids before the draft But I can see us Lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August sipped away Like a bottle of wine 'Cause you were never mine  Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinking I had you Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call So much for summer love, and saying "Us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose 6.  This is Me Trying - Yikes, isn’t the title just a hypothetical Parse anthem though? Once again, not really exactly in the spirit of the actual song but I feel like so many of the lyrics apply? I mean, Kent turning up at Samwell vibes and once again he lashes out because he feels hurt but he’s trying. He doesn’t even know if Jack wants to see him but he’s hopeful so he turns up and he’s trying to be helpful and to reconnect but he’s still hurting even if Jack doesn’t seem to care? Also definitely don’t think about Kent in his first year in the NHL when he’s supposed to be living his dream and enjoying life, celebrating victories with his new team but all he can think about is Jack and how he may have hurt him and that he’s living the life he’s missing out on. 

Lyrics I have emotions about:

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say But I'm here in your doorway <-- Kent turning up at Samwell not really knowing if Jack would want to see him but being so hopeful that he would just hurtssss I just wanted you to know That this is me trying  And at least I’m trying

And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad I have a lot of regrets about that

And it's hard to be at a party When I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you

7. Illicit Affairs - Ooooh boy, we’re back to entire songs that remind me of Kent and Jack and pre-draft sadness. So cannon Jack might claim that they never really dated and doesn’t that hurt even more if you consider Kent thinking they’re basically dating in secret only for Jack to overdose, then cut him off completely and deny that what they had ever involved any real emotions on his part? So here’s where illicit affairs makes me want to sob. Definitely don’t think about them having a secret ‘relationship’ that starts off because they’re just such close friends, the best friend either one of them has ever had, but they’re also both closeted professional hockey players and horny teenagers let’s be honest, and what starts off as raw moments of honesty and closeness between them get’s slowly corrupted because they have to hide it all, and they have the draft to think about, and Jack has his anxiety etc. And maybe Jack doesn’t call him kid or baby but he does call him Kenny like nobody else does and Kent would ruin himself if it meant he could have Jack back, would give him anything, would get him a spot on the Aces so they can finally play together like they were supposed to...This song makes me sad.

Lyrics that hurt especially (might as well post the entire song here tbh):

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings And longing stares It's born from just one single glance But it dies and it dies and it dies ...a million little times / They show their truth one single time But they lie and they lie and they lie ...a million little times

So you leave no trace behind Like you don't even exist Take the words for what they are A dwindling, mercurial high A drug that only worked The first few hundred times

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself ...a million little times

8. Invisible Strings - Is this song too happy for my feelings about Kent most of the time? Probably, but basically any ship that ends in Kent/Happiness could apply to this song and that’s the reason it stays on this list. So basically think about Kent being happy and moving on with someone who’s so so good for him and helps him heal and then reconsider this song with that in mine. 

Lyrics to think about:

Time, Mystical time Cutting me open, then healing me fine

A string that pulled me Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire Chains around my demons Wool to brave the seasons One single thread of gold tied me to you Cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart Now I send their babies presents <- the idea of Kent moving on and no longer having confrontations with Jack whenever they meet but instead being happy for him too makes me so happy 

9. Betty - Okay once again the actual idea of this song, definitely doesn’t directly apply but hear me out. Kent turning up at Samwell wanting to be heard out by Jack. Maybe it doesn’t happen directly after the event so he’s not ‘only 17′ but he effectively is and he doesn’t know anything really. He didn’t at the time the overdose happened and he never got the chance to deal with it properly because Jack cut him out so he still doesn’t really know anything. All he knows is that he misses Jack and he wants to play with him again and wants them to get back to where they used to be, to where they’re suppose to be. And if he insulting Jack’s team isn’t James (Taylor’s POV) singing about Betty’s ‘stupid friends’ then idk what else to say. Why does this song scream Kent so much to me despite being about a random 17 year old boy who cheated on his girlfriend?

Lyrics I want to scream about:

Betty, I won't make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom But I think it's 'cause of me  <--so obvs not homeroom but please don’t think about Kent thinking that Jack overdosed and decided not to go to the NHL after her recovered because of him

But if I just showed up at your party Would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself Or lead me to the garden? I'm only seventeen I don't know anything but I know I miss you <--maybe he’s not 17 but he’s basically still just a kid whenever Jack’s involved

Betty, I'm here on your doorstep And I planned it out for weeks now but, it's finally sinking in Betty, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again The only thing I wanna do Is make it up to you So, I showed up at your party Will you have me? Will you love me? Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends? If you kiss me Will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings?

I definitely have more to say on this but this is already so long so that’s it for now, might continue on some other time?

[carrigerpigeon]

On THE ENFORCER ENIGMA

Okay, y’all.

We need to talk about The Enforcer Enigma because I have many, many problems with it.

I’ve been sitting on my feelings for this book for a month or so, after I got my ARC of it and I read it. It’s been hard to decide what I was going to say, how I was going to approach this. Like I’ve said before, my relationship with Gail exists in a liminal space between fan and friend, and is even more complicated than that.

I’ve decided, as both a fan AND friend, that I can’t ignore the problems in this book.

Which is where this post comes from.

When I first I heard it was dealing with the Selkie mob I was excited, because I loved how ridiculous they were in the short story and I think the concept is gloriously ludicrous. But this book overall felt very contrived, very basic, and very tone deaf in a racist way. The gay boys felt objectified and cookie cutter, and the racist treatment of Judd made me very, very upset.

I’m going to get to my issues with the treatment of Judd, as best as I can as a white person with a lot to learn, but I want to start with something I am able to speak better on, and that’s the gay characters in this book.

So let’s get into it. Spoilers, obviously, and lots of talk about systematic racism and homophobia, antiblackness, stereotypes, etc.

(Also, Gail, since you follow me on this blog and I know you’ll probably see this—READ THE WHOLE THING. Think about it. And then if you’d like to talk about it, you know how to contact me.)

This is going behind a cut, not because of the content but because it’s almost 6 pages long.

The Gay Boys

Okay. Look.

I love a catty, fabulous gay boy as much as the next queer. They have a space and a place in our community. But not EVERY gay man is like this IRL. Meanwhile, in SAS, it feels like every gay male character (or close to) in this series is a waspy, catty, faaaabulous gay. Isaac, Marvin, Max, Trick, even to some extent Alec and Bryan…they’re just all the exhausting waspy, catty, fabulous gay boy that we see exhibited heavily on Drag Race and other mainstream platforms.

And like. I get it. Colin is repressed and gay and wants to be a fabulous twink. That’s fine. But it just felt like he was slipping into the stereotype all the other gay male characters inhabit in these books, and that’s really, really exhausting.

Also, I am from the East Coast, where according to my West Coast friends we apparently grow gay boys differently. I can’t say with any accuracy how much of this is true. BUT MOST OF THESE GAY BOYS ARE FROM THE EAST COAST. They lived in Boston before moving to California. So why are they like this?

It feeds into this larger trend I’ve seen in Gail’s word with fabulous, savage gay boys—from Akeldama and all his drones, to Biffy, and even Lyall. Seen over the spread, it’s harder to sweep it away as just a “modern storyline” thing or a “California storyline” thing. It’s a trend, one which I find very uncomfortable as a queer person.

There is a place and space for Queer people to take back the tropes and stereotypes that have been used against us and write them our own way. But what I’ve seen as a longtime reader isn’t that. What I seem is lazy stereotyping and an overarching stereotype and characterization that feed into the larger the ways I feel gay men are objectified by female authors (no matter how queer the author is).

Many more people have covered this topic better than I, but it explains why I’ve felt so uneasy about this series from the get go. The sex and the relationships in these books don’t feel real—it feels objectifying. There’s lots of talk about big and strong sexy, muscle-y men but very little else. And while there is something to say about having a partner who thinks you’re sexy—that’s important, and I want everyone to have that…. this isn’t that.

These are muscle-y, strong, sassy gay men for cis white women to coo over on Facebook and feel good about. But to me, a real life nonbinary queer person, I feel uneasy and frankly uncomfortable with the objectification of them.

And since we’re talking about queer representation, after having a decent wlw spread in the Parasolverse there are two WLW (specifically lesbians) in SAS (Trickle and Pepper) and they (a) barely get any screen time and (b) feel stereotypical to me. And they are side characters, so I get it, but seriously?

And also while we’re on queer representation, there’s Mana, aka Manifest Destiny. Mana is the drag queen and arguable trans woman* who started off alright BUT was named after the colonization and violent taking of Native and Indigenous people’s lands and wrapped up in patriotism. Gail has said she made a mistake, that she meant her name to be Mana From Heaven, and that this would be addressed in the upcoming book (aka The Enforcer Engima).

It was not.

There is talk, from what I understand, this issue will be addresses in the upcoming short story about Mana and Lovejoy. But there are several throwaway lines about Mana in this book, her work in LA and her becoming a drag queen superstar (I guess akin to RuPaul?). So why wasn’t her name change discussed or even mentioned there?

[*Sidebar: Mana has been quoted as saying, “I suppose I should be transgender, under modern parlance. But I like drag queen. It suits me. I like the fabric roughness of drag, and the royalty of queen. It's a nice change to have the luxury of choosing one's own semantics, if not one's own situation." But whenever she appears, it seems she’s always in face/wearing false eyelashes/wearing women’s clothing.

I’m not going to police Mana’s trans experience because gender is a spectrum, and I as someone under the trans umbrella know that. But it feels…weird and off to me.]

Regardless of my sidebar, the name she was supposed to have, Manna from Heaven is…also sort of problematic? If I understand the reference correctly, it refers to the Biblical story of the food that God miraculously provided to the Israelites as they wandered in the wilderness. It means as a phrase the coming of unexpected benefit or assistance, especially when that benefit/assistance comes at the time when it is needed most. Which is what Mana is for the pack—she lets them live in her apartment in Book 1, she swoops in to save the day in Book 2. But it feels…very white and more than a little gross to name a character with Chinese and Japanese ancestry after something from the Bible.

And then there’s Judd.

Oh, Judd.

I really wanted to like Judd. The premise of his character was interesting, a Black, Pre-Saturation werewolf shifter, and I liked his cameos in the other books. But then we got a book about him, and it all fell apart.

Judd is a gay Black character, pre-Saturation, meaning he’s old as hell (from the Parasolverse time). He is objectified like the other gay boys, and there’s a lot of talk about how hard and strong his muscles and how sexy he is. He’s depicted on the cover this way.

And that’s…fine I guess, but gay Black men frequently have their bodies objectified as Black and muscley and strong. He’s also a pack Enforcer, so he’s depicted as not very smart and very violent. All of those are racist stereotypes that Black men deal with constantly, and they are racist stereotypes and tropes that are constantly hurled at Black men by the system and by society.

Additionly, Judd, the only Black member of the pack, is the only werewolf in the series to carry a gun.

A Black man. Is the only member. To carry a gun.

Yeah.

It gets worse.

There is mention of Judd’s backstory—very heavy inferences to Phineas/Soap (whose problematic naming convention and descriptors have been talked about especially by jhenne-bean ) being his mentor until he gets kicked out of Sidheag’s pack—but it falls very flat. I understand not wanting to write too much history of a Black character as a white writer, especially after tenuously connecting that history to the traditionally published series you’re Not Connected SAS To Not At All….

But.

Judd is over 150 years old.

He lived through some of America and Canada's worst racial discrimination, discrimination which would have affected him and his habitus and the way he moves through the world. He’s a gay Black man, and his gayness and his Blackness does not appear to affect how he interacts with the world at all. The police are called at the beginning and he’s OKAY ABOUT IT? AS A BLACK MAN? He basically says, “Thank God, the cops are here.”

You had a BLACK MALE CHARACTER SAY THAT when we’ve had a nationwide conversation since 2013, a conversation that has been reignited in the past three months?

Like????

And I was willing—perhaps whitely and naively—to give Gail the benefit of the doubt with Soap/Phineas. E&E was written in 2011, before Black Lives Matter was founded, before we began to have this nationwide reckoning with how Black and brown folks are treated systematically and especially by police violence. These conversations were definitely being had in 2011, but they were seen as fringe discussions and not necessarily part of the mainstream narrative as it is today.

However. It’s not 2011. It’s 2020.

It’s been 7 years since BLM was founded, and there have been countless discussions happening about racism and systematic issues in publishing and with white writers writing Black characters since that point.

Soap/Phineas has been mentioned or has cameo’d in The Custard Protocol and in Meat Cute. There’s been no conversation about his name or the way he has been described  And both he and Judd fall into the Caring-POC-Partner trope which has been discussed very heavily in romance circles and in ways I am not necessarily equipped to discuss in this post. But I will link to this post for everyone to read: https://medium.com/@ashiamonetb/queer-love-interests-of-color-and-the-white-gaze-8928b7b5e6ad

It’s 2020. These conversations have been being had, quite fervently, for many years, so there’s absolutely no excuse with how Judd is approached or treated in this book.

And here’s the CRUX of all this.

This book isn’t even really about Judd.

It’s about Colin.

Even though Judd is on the cover of the book, in all of his objectified Black body goodness, the plot of the story is about Colin. It’s very much entrenched in Colin’s issues with his family and his identity. Judd is there to take care of Colin and ~guide~ him and ~teach~ him things. To protect him. To be sexy to him.

See the medium article above. See the conversation about objectification above.

So if this book is SO MUCH ABOUT COLIN, why is Judd on the cover?

Why is Judd naked and glistening and Black on the cover of the story about the trials and tribulations of a white twink?

…Do I really have to say it? Maybe I do. It’s racist.

It might not be intended that way, but it is.

And look. There were parts of this book that I found enjoyable. I am still a fan of Gail’s wit and the way she writes. I’m a sucker for the found family trope, which all of these books have, and I really like Trick and Marvin. I’ve been where Colin is. I’ve fucked around with my gender presentation and been scared to out and fabulous or be perceived a certain way because I present a certain way.

But I’m really frustrated and frankly ANGRY with the racist stereotypes and gay stereotypes present in this book. It doesn’t feel like this was sensitivity read at all, by anyone. The book feels like a culmination of racist and homophobic trends that make me feel that Gail hasn’t been paying attention or listening to the cultural reckoning happening nationwide or in publishing.

And yes, there is a lot of “don’t idolize authors” talk, but here’s the thing.

Gail isn’t some anonymous author to me, someone I can just cancel and be done with.

Gail is a mentor to me. We’ve hung out at multiple cons, shot the shit about publishing, and talked about queer shit together with. We aren’t close, but she’s a friend (liminal space, etc). She gets a Christmas card from me every year, she asks after my partner when we chat. We’ve been in each other’s orbits for TEN YEARS.

I have this entire sideblog dedicated to her books, for fucks sake.

So when I read shit like this, it makes me upset. This book is a pile of microaggressions that stacked into a macroagression. It’s insensitive, definitely hurtful, and feels exceptionally tone deaf (AT BEST) to have written and released this book.

She has people in her inner circle who could have caught this if we’d been allowed to read it before hand, if we’d been a part of the beta process. But we weren’t. And it shows.

Gail, this is a message directly for you: You talk a lot about supporting people. You reblog lots of #ownvoices work and have been plugging a lot of #ownvoices fiction. I know (or at least hope) you’re a good person.

SO WHAT HAPPENED?

Why is this book such a disaster?

Have you been listening at all?

And I get it, we all have things to learn and things to unlearn. As white ally, and as a member of the queer community, as someone in your inner circle and as a friend (liminal space!), I get it.

I’m also saying this isn’t ok.

This book that you’ve written is not okay. Not even a little bit.

Here’s the thing: you can fix it (or you can try). It’s gonna be hard and require difficult conversations and actions, but you can.

If you want to know more, if you want to talk: you know how to contact me. I’ll give you my number. We can email, Skype, Zoom, text, call, whatever. I know I’m not the only member of the Pigeons that feels this way. You have people here to help.

As for everyone else:

As might be apparent I have…a lot of feelings right now. I’ve loved these books for so long, made a friend (liminal space!) with the author through social media. Genevieve Lefoux, and Sidheag, and Aggie, and lots of other characters mean a lot to me. Gail’s books have helped me through hard times and hard places, and she’s influenced a lot of whom I am as a writer.

But right now having this blog, dedicated to all these books with this massive subthread of racism and stereotypes, feels…not great.

And I don’t know if I can continue to support Gail and continue to be a fan (and a friend) if she keeps up with this.

[dreaming-of-assclass]

Uncover

A/N: So this is officially my longest work on this blog...over 2K words. I’m happy with how it turned out. Also a lot of asks I’ve completed or am in the process of writing, I just can’t post until a few more days :’( I’ll post them all together very soon.

~~~

“Ah, we’re here. Thank you, sir!” After greeting her driver, Izuki Mina gracefully stepped out of her car. Her silky dark hair was tied up into a tight chignon and her kimono was an elegant shade of orchid. Her heels clacked loudly upon the pavement and she extended a hand towards one of her companions. “Come on.”

6-year old Nako grumbled under her breath, taking it anyways. She looked absolutely precious in her pink dress and space buns, which Mina had accomplished after two hours of fighting her. “Can’t we just turn around now?” She whined. “I wanna go home. This is gonna be so boring.”

Before Mina could respond, Rise replied, “Now, sweetie, that’s not the right attitude to have. Be respectful, we were invited to this wedding.” The older woman, Nako’s mother and Mina’s elder sister, gracefully followed them. 

Mina still had a hard time accepting whose wedding this was. She honestly believed hell would freeze over before Karasuma Tadaomi married someone.

But nope, it was real and happening that very moment. His soon-to-be-wife was also unbelievable. She was a foreign beauty, apparently his co-worker too? Mina knew very little details… it had been a couple years since she’d spoken to Tadaomi. Their families were friends and they saw each other often, eventually becoming good friends as well. Then Tadaomi left for military training...and simply disappeared. Next thing she knows, he was a part of the whole moon exploding business, became a teacher, and was now getting married? Mina couldn’t wrap her head around it all.

The wedding was a very traditional one...unsurprising considering the Karasuma family. The venue was a beautiful Japanese garden, greenery everywhere and the soft pink of the Sakura trees. A faint babbling was heard as water ran in the stream, and a bridge stood over it. Guests were everywhere, chatting casually as more people trickled in along with them. Mina looked a bit further and saw tables filled with appetizers and small snacks to serve as refreshments. She quietly whistled to herself. Damn, this is amazing. It probably was crazy expensive too.

There was a large group of teenagers hanging out in one area of the event, a mixed group of boys and girls. Mina instantly placed them as Karasuma’s former students, from that year he apparently spent as a teacher.

Out of the corner of her eye, Mina spotted Tadaomi, standing with his family. She walked a bit faster, ignoring Nako’s “Where are you going?” 

“Tadaomi!” She called with a smile.

He looked up instantly, surprise splashing across his face. “Ah, Mina,” he greeted with a small smile. “It’s good to see you.”

His dark hair had been styled and gelled back, leaving his handsome facials open. He was dressed in very nice, classy traditional attire. Mina tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, suddenly feeling self-conscious for some reason. “You too! It’s been a long time.”

He tilted his head slightly, as if considering that sentence. “Yes, it has. How are you?”

Mina gave a light laugh. “How am I? How are you, Tadaomi? You’re about to get married! Holy shit!”

Tadaomi smiled amusedly. “I’m fine...just a bit eager to get through all this.” He glanced at everything, from the bridge overlooking the water to the bouquets that were everywhere. “It’s...so much.”

Mina sighed. He would always be the same: just his simple, straightforward self. “It’s your wedding, silly. It’s the one day of your life you can splurge and do everything, then go back to normal.”

She looked past him, searching. “By the way, where is the wifey?”

“Ah, she’s talking with our former students.”

Mina raised an eyebrow. Our? So they met on the teaching job...huh. She looked back at the cluster of teens, and lo and behold, the foreign beauty was there. She was gorgeous, with long light curly hair styled to perfection. Her eyes were a vivid blue and her makeup was perfectly applied. Mina couldn’t tell because of the elaborate bridal attire, but she was guessing the woman had a model-esque figure...she looked quite tall too.

How on earth had Tadaomi met this amazing woman?

“Karasuma!” A voice called, and Mina swiveled around to see two men in dark suits waving him over. Their greeting was casual but they had an air of professionalism surrounding them. Mina assumed they were his government co-workers or something.

Tadaomi saw them too and faintly grimaced. “Ah, I’m sorry, we’ll have to finish catching up sometime later today,” he apologized.

Mina shook her head, smiling. “No, it’s okay! I’ll be around...so whenever you wanna talk, it’s fine.”

He nodded and left to talk to his colleagues. Mina stood there for a moment before feeling a tug at her arm. “What-” Oh, it was just a very ire Nako, scowling. 

“Can we get food please?” She demanded. “Mom told me to ask you to go with me.”

“Where’s your mom?”

“Over there.” Nako gestured to her right, where Rize was talking to Tadaomi’s mother. Great. Mina would be stuck babysitting her very grumpy little niece.

“Okay, let’s go,” she sighed.

They made their way past the many guests and towards the tables lined with delicious-looking food. There were so many platters of colorful sushi...Mina had heard a guest mention in passing that it was because it was the bride’s (what was her name again...Ivanka?) favorite food. Mina glanced around, looking at all her options. Her stomach began to grumble in hunger.

Then she saw it. What in the world -

In the midst of all these elegant tables filled with dishes of tasty, delectable, presentable classy food...was a takoyaki street cart. It looked so incredibly out of place, Mina actually blinked. Once. Still there. Twice. Ok, nevermind, it was real.

“Oooh! I want takoyaki!” Nako exclaimed, already pulling Mina towards it.

“Hey, wait!”

They were at the end of a line now, in front of the cart. Mina could hear the guests in front of them murmuring about the oddity as well. “Wasn’t expecting this at all, but hey, I love takoyaki,” a young man said to the girl next to him.

“Yeah, same,” she replied in agreement.

Mina sighed, feeling her stomach grumble even more. All she wanted was to dig into the platters of sashimi on the fancy table, not wait in line for takoyaki of all things. She glanced down. At least Nako would stop complaining for a while.

“Oh, man, I can’t believe Okano started crying at that, of all things,” Mina heard from beside them, and a few of the teenagers from earlier were walking by them. There was a tall boy with dark hair, a shorter boy with orange hair that reminded her of mushrooms, a girl with straight purple hair, and the last girl was the shortest with dark curly hair. They were all dressed in appropriate formal attire.

“I know, right?” The purple girl laughed. “Ooh, let’s try the takoyaki from here!”

There was a short pause until the orange mushroom boy agreed. “Yeah!”

Now they were standing right behind Mina and Nako. She turned and politely smiled at them. Maybe they’d have an answer for this out-of-place food. “Hello!”

They jolted for a moment, before returning a bright grin. Well, the orange boy had a small, cute smile but the dark curly girl looked deadpan. “Hello!”

“Ah, you guys are Tadaomi’s old students, right?”

The tall boy smiled and nodded. “Yes, we are! I’m Sugino, and this is Fuwa, Mimura, and Hazama,” he listed them off, gesturing to each kid accordingly. Sugino definitely seemed like a chatterbox, a very friendly charming one too.

Fuwa rubbed her chin, giving Mina an odd look. “Hmm...you call Karasuma-sensei by his first name? How close are you?”

“Fuwa!” Mimura exclaimed in embarrassment. Fuwa struck Mina as someone who was usually unfiltered, judging by his reaction.

“You can’t just ask her that. It’s none of our business,” Hazama sighed, almost sounding apologetic.

“What? I’m just wondering...you guys are, too! Don’t deny it!” she protested. Yep, she definitely didn’t have a filter.

Mina laughed, slightly put off but more amused than anything. “It’s ok! No worries! I’m Mina, and this is my niece Nako. My family is friends with Tadaomi’s, we grew up together for a little bit when we were young,” she explained.

“Ooohh,” they chorused. “Nice to meet you both!” Mina laughed some more. Okay, that was kinda cute.

“Say, do you guys have any idea what this street cart is doing here?” she wondered, deciding to just go for it. She chuckled. “It’s just surprising to see since sushi from the finest place in Japan is sitting right over there.”

They all laughed. Sugino ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, it is weird,” he agreed. “We were the ones who actually asked for it. Our class, I mean.”

Mina furrowed her brows. “Oh, really? Why?”

Fuwa smiled softly. “Our old teacher, he worked with Karasuma-sensei and Bi-” she paused, looking at Nako. “Jelavic-sensei. He, um, really liked...takoyaki.”

“Yeah, he loved octopi a lot,” Mimura chimed in. “One could say he was basically one himself.”

Mina was slightly lost now. “Like a spirit animal?”

Hazama shrugged. “Yeah, something like that.”

“Oh. Well, that’s cool.”

Hazama gave her a look. “It’s okay, it’s weird. We know.”

Mina wasn’t sure what to say to that. “Um, so tell me more about this teacher! He seems like an interesting guy.”

Sugino laughed. “Yeah, he was definitely interesting. He had a lot of weird habits. He loved junk food, for one. Always blew his teaching money on that.”

“He really liked po-” Mimura paused, glancing at Nako. “Um, magazines. He had a huge collection of them.”

“He used to fry tissues to eat sometimes, because he was so broke,” Fuwa added.

“That’s terrible!” Mina exclaimed.

Hazama waved her off. “Oh, don’t worry, he was okay.”

“He was obsessed with soap dramas,” Mimura continued. “Always used to try and ship us all together to try and emulate them.”

“Oh...that’s a bit odd,” Mina stated politely.

“Yeah, we hated it. We shot him with bb pellets whenever he was being too annoying.”

“Wow, that’s -”

“It’s fine! He encouraged it all the time!”

Fuwa sighed. “Even with all those irritating quirks, he was still the best teacher ever.” The atmosphere had shifted into a more somber, nostalgic one as all the kids looked down slightly.

Sugino nodded. “He always cared about us and looked out for our wellbeing all the time.”

“He was great at explaining concepts, and we even made personalized practice tests for every student,” Mimura added.

Hazama averted her gaze. “He made all of us feel welcome and like we belonged in that class,” she said softly. “Like we were all a piece of one big puzzle, meant to be there from the start.”

“He built a pool for us,” Fuwa sighed again.

Mina blinked. “Wow, he sounds like an amazing person!” She glanced around her. “Is he here? I’d love to meet him!”

The kids stiffened, and she instantly regretted her question. Stupid Mina! Obviously, something happened or they wouldn’t sound so sad! But she’d been distracted by all that they were saying, she’d forgotten.

She took a breath. “I’m sor-”

“No, he’s not here,” Sugino finally spoke. “He...passed away at the end of the year.”

Mina felt her stomach lurch. “I’m so sorry…”

“No, no, you’re fine,” Fuwa replied, shaking her head. “It’s okay.”

Mimura laughed slightly. “You know he would’ve freaking loved it if he were here.”

The other two laughed while Hazama smirked. “He’d be a bawling mess. Probably would badger those two constantly until he got kicked out.”

“He’d insist on personally handling Karasuma-sensei’s hair and styling,” Sugino continued. “But he’d go overboard and mess it up.”

“Seventy-percent of the food would already be devoured,” Fuwa added with a grin.

Hazama raised an eyebrow. “Only seventy-percent? That’s being generous,” she commented dryly, amusement in her tone.

“True!” They burst out laughing again. Mina smiled, relieved to see that they moved on from her little mishap and weren’t sad anymore.

“Oh, Ms Mina, it’s your turn,” Sugino pointed out, and she turned around to see the vendor waving at her.

“Oops, sorry!” She smiled at them once more before turning to place her order. Hard to believe that the answer to why this takoyaki cart was here was all thanks to an old teacher with odd quirks who liked octopi...and guided a lot of bright, good kids. She definitely would continue that conversation with those four and hopefully get to meet more of Tadaomi’s students.

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

Final paper

Representation of queer women in the television show Glee

For Naya Rivera

Introduction

Representation of queer people has gotten better in the last few years, in both quantitative and qualitative ways. Yet, there is often still a discrepancy between the representation of queer women and the experiences actual queer women. It still happens that queer women are overly sexualised, lack depth or that they are marketed towards men as fanservice through the usage of the male gaze (Smith, 2018). The main reason for all of this is that queer women in mainstream media are often created by men.

According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary (n.d.), queer is defined as “of, relating to, or being a person whose sexual orientation is not heterosexual and/or whose gender identity is not cisgender”, but in this paper, we will only focus on portrayal of female sexuality of queer women. For this paper, I will look at the agency of queer female characters in the television show Glee. With agency I am referring to the subject being able to act in a certain narrative (McAdams & McLean, 2013). I will try to figure out how the audience reacts towards the portrayal of queer women in Glee.

There are two reasons why I chose the television show Glee. First, despite its many flaws, it is my favourite show. Second, Glee has always been a frontrunner when it comes with queer representation. Glee has a total of 23 canon queer characters (Glee Wiki, n.d.). Three of them are women in the main cast: Santana Lopez (lesbian), Brittany Pierce (bisexual) and Unique Adams (transgender). As stated above, we’re only looking at the sexuality aspect, so Unique will be left out of the analysis. Through a close reading of the series’ portrayal of its characters, I ask this question: “How does Glee allow an enjoyable queer viewing experience?”

Theoretical background

The representation of sexuality has become more prominent in television in the last few years (Kidd, 2014; GLAAD 2005/2020), but it is still portrayed in a heteronormative way to show that heterosexuality is the norm (Avila-Saavedra, 2009). Since women are also still underrepresented and often badly represented, it is interesting to look at queer women in general (DeCeuninck & Dhoest, 2016).

Queer women are often represented in function of male fantasies and they are often sexualized and can normally be described as conventionally attractive (DeCeuninck & Dhoest, 2016). This is due to the male gaze. Mulvey (1989) describes the male gaze as an act of depicting women and the world heterosexual view that presents and represents women as sexual objects for the pleasure of the male viewer. Mulvey writes that the women displayed have two roles: one as an erotic object within the story and one as an erotic object for the audience. There’s a third component that places women as an erotic object for the men behind the camera.

But Mulvey writes from a heterosexual perspective and that does not always capture the experiences of queer viewers (Gokcem, 2012). It is argued that the “gay gaze” (man to man or woman to woman) is more about understanding that there’s a homosexual act on screen and acknowledging that act (Snider, 2008; Gokcem, 2012). It’s less about the sex appeal or objectification of the characters. Evans & Gamman (1995) even claim that there’s no such thing as a “lesbian gaze” when it comes to good lesbian representation, but that it’s more about lesbian imagery that is created by lesbian filmmakers for lesbian consumption. To them, subcultural codes are the reason that even objectifying imagery of women is still different than the ones in the male gaze.

Subcultural styles can be seen as coded transposed into the specific context of youth (Murdock & McCron, 1976). Murdock & McCron speak about class differences, but this view of subculture can also be applied to the queer community. Huq (2006) says that the term subculture carries implications of the oppositional and unofficial. Both writings speak about youth, and not all queer people are young, but when it comes to media, youth can find solace in specific subcultural media.

Within media, agency is important. Agency can be defined as the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices (Barker, 2012). In narrative theory, this means the degree in which a protagonist is able to affect change in their own lives or influence others in their environment (McAdams & McLean, 2013).

Glee’s background

When it comes to the quantity of representation, Glee has always been a frontrunner (Marwick, Gray, & Ananny, 2014). It has shown a wide variety of serious topics in the show. Glee has characters of different ethnicities, gender identities, sexualities and economic classes. Glee also has characters in a wheelchair, it has characters with down syndrome, and it has characters with mental health problems.

Unfortunately, the quality aspect of representation in Glee is less than ideal. There is racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, and a strive to be well-abled and neurotypical. I am not talking about what happens within the show (as in, characters facing hatred from other characters), but by the way the show is written by its creators. Artie, the character in a wheelchair, constantly wishes that he could walk and he’s seen dancing in several dream sequences[1]. Queer characters could only kiss in “special episodes”, while their straight friends could make out anytime and everywhere[2]. A male character speaking out for himself is portrayed as heroic, strong and inspirational, while a female character speaking out for herself is portrayed as annoying, complaining and bossy[3]. Glee also portrayed heteronormativity by presenting its queer characters mostly as suffering while aspiring to fit in a heteronormative worldview, but also as happy and self-confident (Dhaenens, 2013).

An explanation for these underlying microaggressions can be ascribed to the fact that most people on the creative team of Glee were straight white men and when a woman did write a script, produce or direct, they were always working together with straight white men. Same goes for people of colour working in the Glee crew. They also had less episodes to work on (IMDb, n.d.). As a result, Glee often reflects a male heteronormative worldview.

Methodology

For this paper, I will take a closer look at Glee and its queer female characters. I will describe the three queer female characters and I will give some background. While describing the stories, I will look at how much the characters were allowed to exist with agency. Apart from that, I will also talk about certain fan reception towards storylines about the sexuality of these women and how they were allowed to express their sexualities.

I do have to point out that a lot of discussion is from archival material, since these storylines all happened in 2012 and 2013. I have spent time tracking down old blog posts and articles written by fans, but many have been lost due to domain changes or due to the deactivation/changes of blogs. I am aware that it is a huge methodological fault to purely rely on my memories, but Glee has ended years ago and people who once actively participated in discussions surrounding these characters have moved on. The posts that I have found were either difficult to find or they’re recent and written after the show. Not all posts are in-depth analyses. Sometimes they’re memes, but they still express the opinions of fans.

Analysis of Glee

I will split this section in 3 parts. Each part is about a certain character.

Santana Lopez

Santana Lopez got introduced in season 1 episode 1 “Pilot” as a background character. During the first season, she was portrayed as a girl who had sex with every guy in school and she actively sought out this sexual attention. In season 2, things started to change for Santana when it comes to her sexuality. In season 2 episode 4 “Duets”, Brittany and Santana are seen making out for the first time. At first, it wasn’t supposed to be a real storyline, but Naya Rivera, who played Santana, advocated for this relationship to become real and not a throw-away thing (NayaMitchell, 2011).

This changed Santana’s character from a heterosexual man-hunter to a deeply closeted lesbian. Her relationships with men became a way for her to hide her sexuality and Santana had to deal with a lot of internalised homophobia. This followed her all throughout season 2. This change was seen as abrupt by certain people and as a result, some people felt like they couldn’t get emotionally invested in the relationship. Others were happy to see female sexuality become a topic, since beforehand, Glee mostly focused on male sexuality (Marwick, Gray, & Ananny, 2014).

           Season 3 showed Santana’s sexuality developing. In season 3 episode 4 “Pot O’ Gold”, Brittany and Santana decided to date, but Santana wanted to hide the relationship. Unfortunately for her, she got outed by Finn Hudson in season 3 episode 6 “Mash-Off”. The episode afterwards, “I Kissed A Girl”, dealt with the repercussions of the outing, but this episode was heavily scrutinised by fans and critics and even after the show ended, fans discussed how badly it was done (see Appendix for screenshots).

The episode tried to make Finn look like a hero by outing her and Santana even thanked him for it. Santana also sung the Katy Perry song I Kissed A Girl, which is a song that treats women kissing other women as a joke and a party activity for drunk straight women. Santana sung that song with a straight character named Rachel Berry, who appropriately sings the lyrics “I hope my boyfriend won’t mind it!”. Brittany barely spoke in this episode and Santana’s coming out to her parents got brushed off easily as something irrelevant that happened off-screen. A scene of Santana standing up for herself towards the other cheerleaders got cut and was only released after the end of the season (MrRPMurphyExclusive, 2012). Overall, Santana became a background character in her own coming out story, so that the narrative could focus on the straight boy who outed her (lesbianstana, 2018).

There is only one scene in the entire episode that focused on Santana, which is the heart wrenching scene where she comes out to her Abuelita. This scene is the only one where Santana gets to express her emotions to what has happened to her and this part is often regarded by fans as the only good part of the episode. There is a big reason why this scene stands out: it is written by a queer woman named Ali Adler, whereas the rest of the episode was written by a man named Michael Hodgson. Ali has written more media about queer women and she puts the narrative on them and their story. This scene focuses on Santana expressing and overcoming her struggles and not on Finn being the hero.

After this episode, Santana completely embraced her identity. For the remainder of the show, Santana was open about being a lesbian and she had relations with four other women and she ends up with Brittany. Santana’s confidence has helped a lot of young women feel comfortable with themselves, since it showed them that there is nothing wrong with liking other women. Her relationship with Brittany gave people hope (Marwick, Gray, & Ananny, 2014). This is especially true for women of colour, since not only did Glee show a confident lesbian, but also a confident lesbian of colour. Naya Rivera was aware of how Santana’s journey has impacted people and she said that she’s very proud of it (NayaMitchell, 2011).

Brittany S. Pierce

Brittany got introduced in season 1 episode 2 “Showmance” as a background character. She is also the dumb blonde with a lot of funny one-liners. Brittany is bisexual, but as a viewer, you never see or hear anything about her discovering her sexuality and coming out. She is the only of the 4 main queer character who does not have a storyline about sexuality and the struggles of coming out. Just like Santana, Brittany’s portrayed was very sexual in season 1, but she also mentions attraction towards women easily. This can be interpreted as a portrayal of a woman who’s very accepting of her own bisexuality, but it can also be interpreted as a thrown-away joke. It looks like Brittany’s comments about women are there to spark laughter.

In season 2, her attractions towards Artie, a boy, and Santana, a girl, becomes more fleshed out. In season 2 episode 18 “Born This Way”, she says that she thinks that she might be “bi-curious”. The word “bisexual” was barely used in the show and when it did, it was done in a very negative way[4]. Brittany referred to herself as “bi-curious” “a bicorn” (instead of a unicorn) and “bilingual” (not knowing what it actually meant)[5]. There is never a big revelation. The other characters in the show just know at one point that Brittany is bisexual.

           After Brittany and Santana break up in season 4 episode 4 “The Break-Up”, Brittany falls in love with a boy named Sam. This relationship was not very well-received by Brittana (Brittany and Santana) fans and it felt like they were made fun of in season 4 episode 9 “Swan Song”, when Brittany talks to Sam that she does not want to date him to prevent a group of angry lesbian bloggers to hate Sam and turn violent. This felt very invalidating towards the feelings of queer women who found strength in the Brittana relationship (see Appendix for screenshots).

This relationship led to some debate within the fan community about Glee’s representation of bisexuality. Another problem of the Bram (Brittany and Sam) vs. Brittana debate was the fact that Brittany was suddenly allowed to express her attraction towards Sam way more than to Santana. The Glee Equality Project (2012) made a chart of how Brittany was allowed to kiss boys within the first episode of dating them, or even before dating them, but Brittany and Santana only kissed after 9 episodes of dating and after a fan campaign advocated for a kiss. Glee showed a big double standard in Brittany’s bisexuality and this led to anger (see Appendix for screenshots).

As written above, Brittany and Santana end up together in the end. Even though Brittany was not seen struggling, it was meaningful to have a happy ending for her. Heather Morris, who played Brittany, talked about the impact after the show’s end and how the Brittana relationship eventually helped people (FlyingHippopotamiSpy, 2015). Just like with Santana, watching Brittany be confident and comfortable helped young women realise that there’s nothing wrong with liking girls, or liking girls and boys. Brittany’s happiness showed that her sexuality did not prevent her from having a happy ending, which impacted viewers.

Bonus: Quinn Fabray

Quinn Fabray was introduced in season 1 episode 1 “Pilot” as a main character. Quinn is straight. Fans disagreed. Many people noticed that there was chemistry between Quinn and Rachel and people started liking them as a couple. Faberry (Quinn and Rachel) was one of the most popular couples in the show even though the characters were straight in the text of the show. That is due to the fan reception and fan work surrounding Faberry. As of July 2020, Faberry is still the 3rd most popular couple on the fansite AO3 (Shipping, n.d.). Fans often advocated for the characters to at least not be straight and Dianna Agron famously said: “Quinn could always go gay” (breakmelove, 2011).

           During the show, there were little scenes[6] and pieces of dialogue[7] that indicated to Quinn not being straight, so that is why people latched more onto Quinn and not onto Rachel. That is why I’m only writing about Quinn in this paper. People believed that Quinn was heavily queer-coded. Queer-coding is “to be implicated as having or displaying stereotypes and behaviours that are associated (even if inaccurate) with homosexuality or queerness” (Kim, 2007, p. 157). It is often seen in a negative light, but more recently, queer-coding is also used to find positive subcultural codes in a text. That is what happened with Quinn.

In season 4 episode 14 “I Do”, Quinn gets drunk with Santana and the two of them have sex. When this got announced, fans were interested, since it seemed like they were finally going to acknowledge fans’ interpretation of Quinn. Yet, in the episode, it became clear that Quinn sleeping with Santana wasn’t out of attraction towards women, but more for experimentation. This led to disappointment and it also happens a lot that relationships between women are portrayed as not serious. This “heteroflexible” depiction makes women loving other women seem ‘bad’ and ‘guilty’ and ‘naughty’, basically like it’s a sneaky party trick to put more focus on the hot lesbian outcome (Jackson, & Gilbertson, 2009).

People also felt betrayed by the show. They felt like they’d been queerbaited, since the support for Quinn not being straight was already very apparent by this time. Queerbaiting is “a tactic whereby media producers suggest homoerotic subtext between characters in popular television that is never intended to be actualised on screen” (Brennan, 2018, p. 189). This has a negative connotation, since it feels like people are being lured in by false promises. Despite the negativity, there was also some positive news from women who liked to see it and found it enticing (Hogan, 2013) and still saw it as a sign that Quinn is not straight, despite her saying that this was just a one-time experiment. To this day, people still don’t believe that Quinn is straight (see Appendix for screenshots).

Discussion and conclusion

To answer the question “How does Glee allow an enjoyable queer viewing experience?”, I looked at the show and fan reception. The answer is that Glee allowed an enjoyable queer viewing experience when the characters had agency and happiness. The happiness led to a feeling of acceptance and belongingness for the viewers.

The stories surrounding the queer women in Glee have ups and downs. The flaws in the representation can be attributed to the fact that queer women weren’t a prominent part of the Glee crew. Yet, both Brittany and Santana have a happy ending: they’re alive, in love, and married. Fans seemed to enjoy the storylines when the characters have agency. When that agency gets removed (Santana’s outing not being about her, Brittany not being able to express her bisexuality without double standards), the storylines are not as well-received, since fans want to see the characters succeeding within the context and narrative of the show. Fans actively root for their happiness.

           An interesting finding is that not many fans reacted towards the fact that Brittana consists of two hot femme cheerleaders. This wasn’t expected, since a lot of writing on bad representation revolves around the focus on the male gaze. This unexpected finding can be due to the fact that the relationship was treated fairly and not as a joke. Brittana did start out as two hot girls making out for fun, but it grew into a developed relationship. Another explanation might be in the faulty methodology: maybe I just never saw existing criticism and I didn’t have the time to ask people about it.

           The representation of these characters have helped people and they also found a community, so the idea that subcultural media is correct. After all, fan’s interpretation of Quinn can show that subcultural codes are seen in media. Finding those codes also impact queer viewing of Glee. Even though it wasn’t always perfect, the characters have had a positive impact on representation for queer women. Especially for young people, Brittany and Santana were some of the first representation of teen female characters on mainstream television.

Afterword: in memory of Naya Rivera

This is not part of the paper, so you do not have to grade this and I don’t see it as part of the word count. This is just information that I think is important to share. Naya Rivera, the actress who played Santana, died on July 8th 2020 in Lake Piru in California. She was 33 years old. She drowned while saving her son’s life and her body was found on July 13th 2020. I am very sad about this news and I found it kind of hard to write this paper afterwards. I don’t believe in the afterlife or the whole “this person is looking down on you” stuff, but this was written in her memory and I hope I made her proud with this paper about her influence.

Even though it has been five years since Glee ended, many fans are very shocked and upset by this news. People, including celebrities who grew up with Glee, have shared stories of how much Santana meant to them and how Naya’s portrayal made them feel okay with themselves. Loads of (former) fans have expressed how much Santana’s portrayal has helped them with acceptance. Santana was not a perfect character, but she was a milestone for representation. Naya was not a perfect person, but she will forever be remembered for how much her sheer determination to handle Santana’s storyline respectfully has helped young women everywhere.

Naya Marie Rivera

* January 12th 1987 - † July 8th 2020

Cause I feel that when I'm with you It's all right I know it's right

~ Songbird Glee version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJUgLEtA-74

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Barker, C. (2012). Cultural studies: Theory and practice (4th ed.). London: SAGE

breakmelove (2011, October 9). Dianna Agron Always Go Gay Same as Quinn Fabrey [video]. YouTube, Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bTmdLfpjvo

Brennan, J. (2018). Queerbaiting: The ‘playful’ possibilities of homoeroticism. International journal of cultural studies, 21(2), 189-206. doi:10.1177/1367877916631050

DeCeuninck, A., & Dhoest, A. (2016). I’m feeling some sapphic vibes comin’ off of you. Tijdschrift voor Genderstudies, 19(1), 7-27. doi:10.5117/TVGN2017.1.CE         

Dhaenens, F. (2013). Teenage queerness: Negotiating heteronormativity in the representation of gay teenagers in Glee. Journal of Youth Studies, 16(3), 304-317. doi:10.1080/13676261.2012.718435

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FlyingHippopotamiSpy (2015, March 25). PaleyFest2015 Glee Panel--The Glee cast discusses Klaine and Brittana [video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3ZxY2RT_YY

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Huq, R. (2006) Beyond subcutlure: Pop, youth and identity in a postcolonial world. New York: Routledge

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Jackson, S., & Gilbertson, T. (2009). `Hot lesbians': young people's talk about representations of lesbianism. Sexualities, 12(2), 199–224. doi:10.1177/1363460708100919

Kidd, D. (2014). Not that there’s anything wrong with that: Sexuality perspectives. In D. Kidd, (Eds.), Pop culture freaks: Identity, mass media, and society (pp. 142 – 177). New York: Routledge

Kim, K. (2007). Queer-coded villains (And why you should care). In T. Budd & L. Dexheimer, (Eds.), Dialogues@RU, (p. 156-165). USA.

lesbiansantana (2018, May 23). Anonymous asked: Can you break down all the problems with I Kissed a Girl? I'm genuinely curious. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://lesbiansantana.tumblr.com/post/174189446619/can-you-break-down-all-the-problems-with-i-kissed

Marwick, A., Gray, M. L., & Ananny, M. (2014). “Dolphins are just gay sharks”: Glee and the queer case of transmedia as text and object. Television & New Media, 15(7), 627–647. doi:10.1177/1527476413478493

McAdams, D. P., & McLean, K. C. (2013). Narrative Identity. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 22(3), 233–238. doi:10.1177/0963721413475622

MrRPMurphyExclusive (2012, August 12). The Santana “Coming Out Scene” [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpjZZx5F8JI

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Murdock, G. & McCron, R. (1976) 'Consciousness of class and consciousness of generation'. In S. Hall & T. Jefferson (Eds.), Resistance through rituals: Youth subcultures in post-war Britain. London: HarperCollins.

NayaMitchell (2011). Naya Rivera Talks Lesbian Storyline, Fans, Guest Stars, Graduation on Glee [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGRPTMKZa90

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Smith, A. (2018, August 10). 'Oral sex – and no scissoring!' How the lesbian gaze changed cinema. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/film/2018/aug/10/oral-sex-and-no-scissoring-how-the-lesbian-gaze-changed-cinema

Snider, C. (2008). Queer persona and the gay gaze in Brokeback Mountain: Story and film. Psychological Perspectives, 51(1), 54-69. doi:10.1080/00332920802031888

The Glee Equality Project (2012, December 6). Reaction post 409 “Swan Song” [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://glee-equality-project.tumblr.com/post/37381267319/reaction-post-409-swan-song-in-this-episode

Appendix

Santana’s outing

keepholdingontoachele (2011). Just noticed the “Here’s what you missed on Glee” voiceover saying that. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://keepholdingontoachele.tumblr.com/post/13547911507/just-noticed-the-heres-what-you-missed-on-glee

justanarchiveinabigklainefandom (2011). Santana coming out. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://justanarchiveinabigklainefandom.tumblr.com/post/13783395882/nayasexual-tenacitysuperbrains-it-wasnt-a

thelesbianladydi (2017, May 28). It has been 2008 days since…. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://thelesbianladydi.tumblr.com/post/161161858089/it-has-been-2008-days-since-santana-lopez-was

lesbiansantana (2018, May 23). Anonymous asked: Can you break down all the problems with I Kissed a Girl? I'm genuinely curious. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://lesbiansantana.tumblr.com/post/174189446619/can-you-break-down-all-the-problems-with-i-kissed

(see link for the full 9 reasons that led to this summary)

 Brittany’s bisexuality

proudlyunicorn (2012, December 6). Brittany and Bisexual Representation: A Gleenalysis. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://proudlyunicorn.tumblr.com/post/37353682285/brittany-and-bisexual-representation-a

glowinthedarkparades (2012, December 6). Can someone please explain…. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://glowinthedarkparades.tumblr.com/post/37318713323/hummelsmytheanderson-can-someone-please

glowinthedarkparades (2012, December 5). Why is the Brittana fandom going apeshit? What’s happened? [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://glowinthedarkparades.tumblr.com/post/37292738950/why-is-the-brittana-fandom-going-apeshit-whats

iheartbrittana (2012). “… All the dreams …. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://iheartbrittana.tumblr.com/post/37241910228/all-the-dreams-we-had-for-brittana-as-a-couple

The Glee Equality Project (2012, December 6). Reaction post 409 “Swan Song” [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://glee-equality-project.tumblr.com/post/37381267319/reaction-post-409-swan-song-in-this-episode

gleerant (2012). Bram, Brittana, and issues of visibility. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://gleerant.tumblr.com/post/36943266496/bram-brittana-and-issues-of-visibility

(full post is too long to screenshot)

 Quinn’s queercoding/queerbaiting

diannaaagron (2020, July 5). The world if glee writers made quinn fabray a lesbian. [meme]. Retrieved from https://diannaaagron.tumblr.com/post/622846421520023552

blaineanderdumbass (2020, June 9). Can you believe quinn…. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://blaineanderdumbass.tumblr.com/post/620457887277498368/can-u-believe-quinn-was-meant-to-be-str-i

justasmallbloginabigklainefandom (2020). Me, in 2020: …. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://justasmallbloginabigklainefandom.tumblr.com/post/617643961118507008/me-in-2020-anyway-lucy-quinn-fabray-was-not

justasmallbloginabigklainefandom (2020). Quinn fabray: *exists* …. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://justasmallbloginabigklainefandom.tumblr.com/post/617643867261550592/quinn-fabray-exists-me-there-is-no

inimitabler (2018, Feb 3). You know what bothers me the most about faberry?. [Tumblr post]. Retrieved from https://inimitabler.tumblr.com/post/170475507292/you-know-what-bothers-me-the-most-about-faberry

diannaagrn (2020). #it’s her she’s gay. [Tumblr photoset]. Retrieved from https://diannaagrn.tumblr.com/post/614675450454736896/its-her-shes-gay

Footnotes

[1] 1x19 “Dream On”; 2x10 “A Very Glee Christmas”; 3x11 “Michael”, 4x10 “Glee, Actually”; 6x06 “What The World Needs Now”. Kevin McHale, the actor who plays Artie, is abled and a trained dancer. The role for Artie was not written as a wheelchair using character.

[2] 2x16 “Original Song”; 3x05 “The First Time”; 3x13 “Heart”

[3] Too many episodes to source.

[4] 2x14 “Blame It On The Alcohol”; 5x02 “Tina In The Sky With Diamonds”

[5] 2x18 “Born This Way”; 3x02 “I Am Unicorn”; 3x12 “The Spanish Teacher”

[6] 1x15 “The Power of Madonna”, 3x14 “On My Way”, 3x15 “Big Brother”

[7] 3x13 “Heart”, 3x14 “On My Way”

[what-is-your-plan-today]

CSI: Rogers and Barnes- The Serious Cereal Serial Killer

Ch4: Hit and Run Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing

Episode Summary: There’s another body, and it’s another familiar face. Some bitching and arguing and an accident. SHOCK!!!

Episode Warnings: Bad Language words. Contains flash back which alludes to a sexual assault. Nothing graphic but avoid if this is a trigger.

Episode Pairings:  Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark (she still hates him…)

Song for Episode:  Demons At The Door by Sleeping Wolf

A/N: This entire series contains dark humour (CSI + Brooklyn 99=CSI Steeb) Avengers and Stark Spangled Banner Easter Eggs and jokes. You don’t need to have read the SSB series to understand or enjoy this, but we’ve used the Universe to spin this off from so somethings might puzzle a few of you if you ain’t, but feel free to ask.

Also, our knowledge of American Policing and Brooklyn is limited, so bear with us if we slip up, but at the end of the day this is a fiction so we’ll claim any mistakes as creative license!!

As always we live for re-blogs and comments  

CSI Rogers and Barnes Master List 

Main Masterlist 

"Of all the places in the world...." Steve groaned as they approached the murder scene.

It was a late July evening and the cool breeze that blew at the Ice Rink at 8 p.m. wasn't a good match for his short sleeved navy blue polo shirt. He didn’t like ice, either. But that was a whole different story. He shrugged on his denim jacket as he walked, giving a slight shiver.

"Hey, it's me who has issues with winter sports, not you. You love ice, Capsicle." Bucky said laughing at his own lame pun.

"Jerk" was the only thing Steve bothered to say to his friend.

They waved at Thor who, as per usual, was directing the police operative. The man was more rushed this time as the new body had appeared in a more popular with tourists spot at a busier time of the evening too.

The area had been secured but people still lingered in the area, trying to get a glimpse of what was happening and, if they were lucky enough, of the bulk under the sheet before they put it in a body bag.

Steve saw a pair of journalists trying to bargain some information out of the police officers who were trying to keep the curious onlookers at bay. He had seen them around other crime scenes and at a few press conferences he had attended over the last couple of years. It was a matter of seconds when another two or three more turned up.

As they approached the scene, they saw that Sam had arrived and was discussing some sort of procedure with Bruce who was crouched down by the body. Katie was busy inspecting the surroundings oblivious to the two men behind her and gave a start when Steve and Bucky greeted her.

"Hey" she said catching her breath and placing a hand on her chest. "You startled me."

"Sorry" Steve smiled. "How are you holding?"

She didn’t return his smile, instead she just gave a shrug.

"Reinforcements are here" Bucky said puffing his chest.

"God bless America" Katie scoffed. "Well, pretty much same crime scene only this one is frostier."

"You can say that again." muttered Bucky. Katie glared at him and ignoring his jab regarding the tension between her and Steve and continued her report on the scene.

"No bullet wound, so no casings. This is a promenade so no vehicle tracks, I was inspecting the area for footprints but there are no wet marks so the attacker wasn't on the ice. We need to see what Sam says about the body, but I presume from the lack of evidence of a vehicle, plus the fact it would be pretty hard to drive here anyway at this time of day without being seen, that the victim was attacked where he's lying, by the bench that faces the ice rink."

"Have you talked to the boys that found it?" Steve asked Katie while looking around searching for the kids who had spotted the body.

“Him.” she replied, not looking up

"It's a male?" Bucky asked Katie.

"Yes, the boys reported the body of a man who seemed to be dead by one of the benches in front of the rink." Katie said. "Well, according to Thor their exact words were “There's a dude here, he got smoked.”  Yeah, quite the literary talent." she added when Bucky chuckled at the boys’ use of slang. "Anyway, a police officer is with them, we’re waiting for their parents to show up and then we can drive them to the station to take their statements."

"Ok. Let's see what Sam and Bruce got." Steve said as he began to walk towards the scene, followed by Bucky and Katie who was now grabbing a mint from the packet that Bucky was holding out for her.

"Do we know anything about the victim?" Steve asked turning her head to Katie and then turned again to greet Sam.

"Nope. Not yet. Sam only told me there was no bullet wound, only what seemed...." Steve frowned and turned to ask Katie why she had stopped talking when he saw she had paused in her tracks and stood there frozen looking down at the body.

"Katie?" Bucky who had also stopped walking asked a worried look on his face.

She didn’t reply, merely stood there her eyes wide, a look of utter shock on her face.

"She's shaken. She's not hearing you." Steve told Bucky as he moved towards Katie, recognising the signs instantly. He’d seen it often enough "Can you please take the reins, while I... umm..?"

"Sure, pal. I've got this." he said before Steve could finish the question and turned to Sam and Bruce whose worried looks were focused now on the three of them rather than on the dead body on the floor.

"Hey. Are you ok? Katie? Look at me." Steve said quietly holding Katie's face between his hands.

She seemingly reacted to the human contact and the soft voice speaking to her. Her eyes fell on the ones before her and Steve saw those green orbs staring at his, struggling to focus, and once she did  she flinched from his touch and composed herself.

Steve swallowed hard and tried to hide his wounded pride as much as possible.

"Come here." he said as he took her arm gently and guided her to the spot where their cars were parked.

"Need anything? Water?" Steve offered patiently giving her time to adjust to reality.

"No, I'm fine thanks." she said and fell silent again looking past him towards the bulk on the ground beside the bench.

"Are you gonna tell me what that was about?" Steve asked tentatively.

Katie stood now leaning back against the left door of her car as Steve waiting patiently for an answer which he honestly wasn't sure he was going to get given how things were between the two of them. His fists clenched inside the pockets of his denim jacket fighting the urge to reach for Katie to comfort her but he knew she wouldn’t appreciate it. Instead, he watched her carefully as she moved her eyes frantically between the crime scene and him, and closing them she whispered "I know him."

"You knew the victim?" he asked frowning.

She nodded and inhaled deeply before opening her eyes again and saying "Sitwell, Jasper Sitwell."

Steve looked at her intently trying to get more information from her, he couldn't recall where had he heard that name but it did sound familiar.

"Sitwell..." he repeated as if uttering that surname again would magically bring a memory back. "Katie, I don't..."

"Steve" she said her eyes on his "remember what happened with Rumlow?"

"Yes." he said the word nearly getting stuck in his throat. Now he was beginning to get worried.

"Sitwell was Rumlow's alibi when Peralta and I were digging into him. We had to drop the case because that bloodsucker stated they were together when it all happened." she rubbed her temples and laced a strand of hair behind her ear before continuing "Never believed him. We were forced to drop it. And then..." she choked on her words.

"Shhhh" Steve said gently reaching for her to calm her with a hug. But she raised her palms stopping him on the spot and he retreated hurt showing in his eyes as it was the second time in less than 5 minutes that she had rejected his touch.

"I'm fine." She said biting her lower lip and looking down to the ground "Or I will be... gotta get out of here Steve" she added before moving around the front part of her car.

"Are you sure you can drive?" Steve asked before she reached the driver's door. "Want me to take you?"

"No." she said too fast and sharp for Steve liking

"Let me call Tony... or Bucky could?" he tried again, worried she would be too upset to focus on the road.

"I'm fine, Steve. Just need a hot bath and to get some sleep." she said taking the car keys out of her jacket right pocket.

"Ok, well… be careful.” She nodded and went to open her door before Steve suddenly remembered something.

“Wait…” he said, and she turned to look at him "I've got something for you.”

He ran towards his car while Katie stood there by the open door of hers waiting for him with a frown.

"Here! My ma gave me this for you." he said handing her the slice of apple pie Mrs Rogers had sent with him.

"Does she know...?" she said taking the foil wrapped pie he was handing her, looking down at it as he handed it over.

"That you're back? Yes, told her earlier." Steve nodded pursing his lips at the memory of her mother's advice.

"Tell her thanks and I'll drop by when I can." she said smiling to him for the first time since she came back from DC.

Steve nodded and smiled back at her as she closed the door and started the car. He leant over the driver's window and said "Drive safe." before she pulled away. He sighed, hands on his hips, his never wavering gaze on the taillights of the blue Honda Civic as it drove away.

"What was that about?" Steve turned around to see a concerned Bucky.

"The victim was.... ummm.... Let's say he was an old acquaintance. Long story. Tell you about it later." Steve said and gestured to the crime scene before asking Bucky.

"Same scene?"

"Yeah, pretty much. This time there's apparently increased violence though. Two blows." Bucky answered.

"Cereal?"

"Yes. I would say it was Jump Start this time. God I hate that shitty generic brand stuff." Bucky scoffed while unlocking his phone.

Steve raised an eyebrow and was about to ask him what was the deal with him and cereals, but honestly he had too many things in his mind at the moment and Bucky's one of many quirks was the last thing in the list right now.

"Ok, get in the car. I sent Katie home, so it's you and me taking the statements of those kids tonight." Steve said walking to the car and opening the driver's door.

"You sent her home and she did as you told without putting up a fight? That's a first." Bucky grinned as he entered the car and sat on the passenger seat.

Steve only groaned and started the car and shook his head at the sight of Bucky devouring his slice of pie.

During the drive back to the station Steve filled Bucky in on everything. And by doing so he found himself catapulted back 5 years previously to one of the NYPD Charity Balls.

Steve could see Katie was excited for this one, it was her first formal event since moving from Uniform into the Detective branch little over 7 months previously after years of hard work on her part to get there. She was determined to make a name for herself, prove to people she wasn’t just Commander Howard Stark’s daughter. Of course Ward had let her down last minute, as per usual, but she wasn’t letting that dampen her spirits. He picked her up, and had to smile as she practically skipped down to his car, her deep red, knee length dress flared slightly out from her hips and she had a soft black shawl draped over her shoulders. She climbed into the passenger seat and gave his cheek a quick peck as he told her she looked stunning, as always. She beamed and then the car filled with her happy chatter, about how she was looking forward to letting her hair down, especially after the case that she had been working for weeks had collapsed.

Steve, as always, kept an eye on her all night, without being overbearing. If she wanted to get drunk to the point of puking then that was her prerogative, he’d simply be there to mop up just like he had done several times before. But then he was caught in a conversation with Thor, Terry Jefferson and Barton about the recent Super Bowl and as such he hadn’t seen her for a lost sight of her for a while. When he looked up to find her, as it was his round, he realised she was nowhere to be seen. After asking Natasha where she was, the red head had frowned saying she hadn’t seen her for a while either, so Steve had headed off to see if he could find out where she was.

And he found her.

“Katie…what the hell?” Steve looked at her as she was stood near the bathroom. She was pressed hard against the wall, almost like she was trying to sink into it. Her breathing was ragged and there were tears streaking her face and he noticed she was shaking from head to toe “Jesus Sweetheart what’s…” “I just...Stevie…I…” She was stumbling over her words as turned to him and practically threw herself into his arms. He frowned and pulled her close, rubbing her back softly as she trembled against him.

“You’re scaring me honey.” he said softly. He’d never seen her like this in the entire 5 years they had been friends. “What…”

“He…er…he was waiting and…”

“Ok, slow down…” he said gently, his hands sliding to her face. “Who?”

“Rumlow…”

Steve took a deep breath through his nose as he felt the nerve in his jaw twitch. “What did he do?”

“He….he was rambling on about the case and….”

“Katie…” he looked at her, his voice calm and commanding “Tell me, what did he do?”

“He said that if I told anyone no one would believe me anyway because of the rape case being dropped and…”

Steve felt cold all over as he looked at her. His thumbs gently skated over her cheek bones as she took a deep breath “Did he touch you? Because if he did I swear to God…”

“He put his hand up my skirt and…” “Mother fucker…” Steve said, one of his hands taking through his hair, the other slamming against the wall causing Katie to flinch “Where did he go?”

“I don’t know….”

With that he wheeled round, ignoring her calls and stormed towards the main door of the bar, yanking it open.

“Hey Rogers…” Peralta looked at him “You seen Katie? The boss is just about to…” “Where’s Rumlow?” Steve demanded, cutting him off.

Peralta’s face darkened “He just left…bastard had a nerve showing up anyway, I can’t believe…”

Steve didn’t wait to hear the rest, the red mist had descended and he had only one thing in mind. That fucking cunt should be banged up in a cell from what he had heard. Apparently he had a cast iron alibi from the rape, but both Katie and Peralta were 100% convinced he had done it. But the case had been dropped as the victim had decided not pursue and as such he was still wandering around the 99 free to do what he wanted.

And he’d just assaulted one of the most important people in Steve’s life.

He ran out of the bar and spotted Rumlow as he headed towards his car. Picking up a sprint, at the sound of his feet pounding on the tarmac, Rumlow turned round and Steve sent a punch straight into the bastards face, sending him sprawling over the bonnet of his car. Steve dragged him up off the bonnet with one hand fisting in the front of his shirt before delivering another punch again, feeling his nose crunch under his fist as the man dropped to the floor. He was just winding up to boot him hard in the ribs when someone grabbed him from behind.

“Cap…” He heard Barton speak, but Steve shrugged him off easily. He went to lead with his foot again, the only thing on his mind was beating the piece of shit until he couldn’t stand up, but when someone else grabbed him, the grip was much stronger, and he was dragged back by both arms.

“Rogers, leave it…come on man…” It was Terry Jefferson.

“Son of a bitch!” Steve yelled, attempting to work his way out of Terry’s grip but to no avail.

“Stevie…” another voice, this one quieter cut through the fog and he took a deep breath as Katie appeared in front of him, both hands on his chest “Stop…”

His chest heaving he took a deep breath and looked down at her as Rumlow gave a groan from the floor behind her. Clint bent down to see to him and Steve held his hands up in surrender. Terry let go and Steve looked at Katie, his hands once more holding her face, the knuckles of his right tender from the punches he had landed.

“You alright?” he asked softly and she nodded. Steve drew himself up and turned to Terry “He assaulted her…”

“What?” Terry frowned, and looked down to Rumlow. Upon hearing Steve’s words, Clint had turned to look up at them and Natasha moved forward, her hand falling to Katie’s shoulder. Katie gave a small nod, and took a deep breath as Natasha looked at her and Steve stepped away slightly, and noticing Katie was still shaking he shrugged off his jacket and dropped it lightly over her shoulders before he heard Terry barking instructions to Peralta to get a unit down to the bar.

Rumlow was now on his feet, and in a second Clint had his arm up his back, and had shoved him down on the bonnet of the car, Rumlow giving a yell.

“Move again and I’ll break it…” he snarled, giving it a harsh jerk.

“He attacked me…”

“Did he?” Peralta asked, his phone clutched to his ear as he looked around, “I didn’t see anything…”

“Me neither…” Terry spoke.

“Yeah, hi, this is Detective Jake Peralta, I need a unit…” Peralta spoke, walking a little way away from the group as Rumlow gave another yell as Clint yanked on his arm again

“Looks like you’re mistaken shit bag.”

“Doll…” Steve turned to Katie again, who was now leaning her head against Natasha’s shoulder clutching his leather jacket around her as the red head’s arm pulled her in. She looked up at him, her green eyes still sporting that petrified look. “You up to giving a statement?”

She glanced at him, then to Rumlow, and then drew herself tall “Yeah, he’s not getting away with it a second time.” “Only he did.” Steve spat out as he swung the car into the station parking lot “The Prosecution advised Katie that it would simply be her word against his. Rumlow was sticking to his story, saying Katie had led him outside on purpose and then got cold feet. And the previous accusation couldn’t be used as the previous victim had dropped all charges…” “What previous accusation?” Bucky asked.

“Rape.” Steve sighed “The victim saw Rumlow at the station and her reaction basically led Katie and Peralta to believe it was him. But before they could go any further, he had a cast iron alibi…and that was Sitwell, the guy we just saw with his head caved in and a mouth full of cereal”

“Fuck…” Bucky mumbled.

“Katie basically went through weeks of hell to in the end drop her case, which killed her. And her fucker of a boyfriend wasn’t much of a support either, simply telling her that she shouldn’t wear such “tight or revealing clothing” for fear of egging men on.” “Are you for real?” Bucky frowned.

“Yup. Trust me, it took everything I had not to kick the crap out of him for that.” Steve sighed, “Still, being Howard’s daughter had some perks. He went in all guns blazing when he learned about what happened and kicked up an absolute storm, threatening to go to the press and everything.  Pierce, in the end, instructed Rumlow to “resign”. Which is another thing that sticks in my throat. He should have been fired.”

“Instead he got to leave with the full benefits of a pension.” Bucky shook his head.

“Yeah, still, it meant he was away from Katie. Which was something she was thankful for.”

Bucky was silent for a moment as Steve cut the engine and ran his hand over his face. “You think his murder could be connected to the dropped rape case?”

Steve shrugged “I dunno. It could just be a coincidence but…” “I don’t believe in coincidences.” Bucky shook his head “Not when it comes to stuff like this.” “Me neither.” Steve said, undoing his belt. “Let’s get these statements taken.” “Aye, aye Captain.” Bucky said, saluting as he followed his friend out of the car.

*****

It was way past eleven the next morning when Bucky entered the kitchen of the station. He and Steve had been working late the previous night, taking statements and going over the case files again and again. The rest of the team had been working on other minor cases or doing paperwork waiting for them to arrive for briefing and were now taking a coffee break.

"Morning, Barnes." greeted Clint who was perched on the kitchen counter. "Fancy some coffee?"

"Yes, please. You really remind me of my ma's parakeet, always perched onto something." he said taking the coffee pot Clint was holding out for him as he opened one of the cupboards to get a mug.

"Tweet, tweet." Clint retorted and Natasha, who was filing her nails, scoffed.

Bucky spotted Katie engrossed on some files that were scattered over the kitchen table while sipping from her coffee mug and moved closer to her and leant over her.

"How you holding?" he whispered placing a kiss on her head.

She looked up at him and smiled softly for an only answer.

"Good." he whispered again and turned to the others to ask "Is there anything worth eating around here?"

"Here, have one." Wanda, who had been watching his interaction with Katie with a broad smile, offered him a box of doughnuts. But she slapped his hand when he was about to take a particular one.

"Not that one. Those are Steve's favourites!" she cried.

"Sorry." he said with a sarcastic tone as he raised an eyebrow at Clint and Natasha who were smiling at him knowingly. "God forgive me if I ate your Captain’s food." he continued while Wanda pulled a face.

It was at that moment that Katie sat up and gathered all her papers to head for her desk but she bumped into Thor at the kitchen's door.

"Greetings, little Stark" Thor said joyfully.

"Morning" she said flatly before heading out. Thor shrugged and moved to one of the cupboards.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked the others while rummaging inside the cupboard "Have we run out of pop tarts?" he groaned turning around.

"Take a doughnut, and watch your hand, picking one is like playing Russian roulette." Clint quipped and Wanda stuck her tongue out at him.

"She's been particularly snarky all morning." Natasha deadpanned looking intently at Bucky who sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"Bitchy." Wanda added and Bucky shot a glare at her.

He was going to say something, not too compromising but enough to get them to leave her alone, when Steve appeared at the kitchen door and called "Everyone, briefing in five." before leaving again.

"Gotta go" Wanda said and before stepping outside the door she turned and added "Are we meeting for lunch?"

"Yes. Diner on the corner, just after briefing!" Natasha yelled for her to hear.

Steve was already sat in the briefing room checking his phone when Wanda came in and placed a coffee mug and a plate with two doughnuts with red, white and blue sprinkles on the table in front of him.

"Thanks" he said "Where is everyone? I told them five minutes."

"They're coming. Well, everyone bar Katie, I don't know where she is." she shrugged.

Steve raised her head to look at her and asked "What do you mean you don't know where she is?"

"She left the kitchen without bothering to look us in the face. Ask Barnes, they seem very close." and as she leant over his ear she whispered "I think they were having a moment back there."

Steve stiffened on his seat and gave an angry bite to one of the doughnuts avoiding saying something he could regret later on. He hadn't failed to notice how close the pair of detectives had become over the last week and it was something that was starting to piss him off. Would Bucky....? No, he wouldn't... He tried to shake those thoughts from his mind and was snapped back into reality by the voices of his team plus Bruce entering the briefing room.

"All right, let's start." Steve said when everyone had taken their seats, noticing Katie sliding in and taking up a seat further down the table. "Sam called. He's currently doing the second victim's autopsy and Tony is out of town working in another case, so Bruce here will do the honours." he said gesturing to the scientist.

Bruce cleared his throat and in a nervous tick he took off his glasses before speaking, "Well, regarding the first victim, we have concluded that the murder weapon could be a round, blunt hammer…"

"A chasing hammer." Thor nodded and everyone turned to look at him, questioningly. "What? I like hammers." he shrugged. "I was actually the hammer throwing champion in the school athletics team."

There was a pause everyone taking in what Thor had just revealed. Then Katie spoke turning to Bruce "But it wasn't a frenzied attack? A single blow?"

"Yeah, that is unlike the second victim, but we'll come to that later." Bruce confirmed.

Steve saw Katie shiver at the mention of the second victim and before he could even register what he was doing he asked her if she was ok to which she only nodded not taking her eyes from the table. He looked directly at Bruce, gesturing for him to continue, not able to deal with the glances he was sure Clint, Natasha and Wanda were sharing at his question to the sergeant.

"As you know we recovered some hairs from Ross trousers" Bruce resumed his report.

"Oh, well that's something." Bucky nodded. "A potential lead maybe?”

"Yeah, wouldn't bank on it." Bruce said "Initial tests show us it's not human."

"What do you mean it's not human?" Steve frowned.

"What do you mean, what do I mean?" Bruce stuttered looking at Steve "Exactly what I just said. That hair is not from a human being. And it's not from the more common domestic animals either like dogs, cats, rabbits, horses... So Peter's on with it now, as soon as we get something we'll let you know."

"Ok, thanks Bruce." Steve said while everyone was lost on their thoughts trying to decipher what kind of animal Ross had been around.

"As for the second victim, we have confirmed his identity." Bruce said chewing one of the arms of his glasses "His name is Jasper Sitwell."

And at the mention of that name Steve saw Katie close her eyes and couldn't help but ask her again.

"You sure you're ok, sweetheart?" he had blurted the words out before he could stop himself and her head shot up and she gave him a filthy look.

"Stop asking me if I'm ok for fuck sake, Steve!" she raised her voice angrily "And DON’T call me that! I'm not your sweetheart, never have been."

Steve clenched his jaw and for a second closed his eyes. If he could have smacked the back of his own head right there and then, he would have. That was on him. Still, he needed to react, despite the grudge Katie was holding against him, they were in a briefing meeting and he was the Captain, being talked to like that was out of order. He looked at Katie and opened his mouth to tell her off, when Bucky shot a quick glance at him and then turned to Katie grabbing her arm.

"Stark. You're off the line. We're not discussing personal matters here." Bucky told her before leaning and whispering to her "Even if he is an asshole."

Steve watched her soften a bit under Bucky's call and then saw a glimpse of a smile on her face when he had whispered something to her. But that smile had faded when she had spotted Wanda shaking her head gazing at Katie reproachfully. That's when he decided to step up, but was again cut off.

"What's your problem?" Katie glared at Wanda while Bucky sat back in his chair and raised his hands in a sign of surrender.

"Katie...stop it!" Natasha tried to intercede also shooting daggers at her.

"That's enough!" Steve spoke up, his voice loud as he cut across the briefing room. "Sergeant Stark, you have any problems with your superiors just issue a complaint form."

"I'll issue a form, I'll shove it up your fucking ass. Fuck this..." Katie yelled at him before she stood up and stormed out of the briefing room.

Bucky stood up fast as lightning and went for the door hurriedly after saying "I've got her, just continue with the briefing."

Steve stood there frozen deciding whether to call the meeting off or get it over with once and for all, when he heard Clint say to Natasha "You should have gone after her." and she shot him a deathly glare.

"What a ..." Wanda started to say.

"I said enough, Wanda." Steve raised his voice and heard Bruce groan and he couldn't blame him, after all the scientist didn't like people with anger management issues.

"Sorry Banner, you were saying..." he said pinching the bridge of his nose and gesturing for him to continue.

"Ummm yes..." Bruce said scanning his notes " that is, I was saying the victim is Jasper Sitwell. Preliminary visual inspection at the crime scene says it was two blows on the head this time. Cereal in mouth as well. So we'd say same MO but we'll give you more details after Sam has finished with him."

"Thanks Banner" Steve said to Bruce who nodded shyly.

"Barton, Romanoff, I want you to investigate Jasper Sitwell. Use all your spy tricks, the guy must be someone relatively important, Sam said yesterday the tie he was wearing was expensive."

"What a pity" Natasha drawled.

"Well, he was a suit and tie kind of guy. We'll find something Cap." Clint said and Steve rolled his eyes at the detective's use of nickname.

"All right, I'll call Rhodes, same course of action with the press." Steve said now looking at Wanda who nodded.

"Wait, why was Little Stark so pissed?" Thor asked out of the blue and everyone turned to look at him astonished.

"What, were you napping?" Steve said and sighed “OK. You're dismissed, I can feel a headache brewing." and stood up to head for his office, but before that he heard Natasha say not as quietly as she intended "I can feel a storm brewing." and Wanda sniggered.

***** Bucky caught up with Katie as she stormed out of the main office and into the corridor.

“Doll face, just...” She wheeled round at him and he held his hands up “Ok, my bad…”

“Leave me alone…” she said, her voice quieter “I’ve had enough.”

“I can tell.” Bucky said “You made that perfectly clear.”

Katie sighed and folded her arms, her tongue poking into her cheek.

“I’m not defending him but maybe, just maybe, Steve’s a little concerned about you.”

“He’s no right to be.” “Maybe not, but you two were friends for a long time before it went sideways.” “Before he sent it sideways…” “Whatever, the point I’m trying to make is that was a slip of the tongue, that’s all.” “I am sick and tired of this.” She said, looking at him. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed the team being off with me.” “Well, you are kinda scary when you’re angry…and you always seem kinda angry so…” “And why do you think that is?” she asked “I didn’t ask for any of this Bucky… he was the one that pulled me back here I just…” “So, let’s just get the job done and then you can go back.” Bucky soothed. “Look, we’re going for lunch in a moment so this afternoon let’s just get our heads down and get our ideas up on the boards.” She frowned and then there was a look on her face as if she was understanding something. But what it was, he had no idea. Instead she shrugged and headed back into the office, ignoring everyone as she walked, in particular Wanda. Wanda followed her with her eyes, narrowing them slightly until she spotted Bucky watching. He gave her a look of his own and she scurried back to her desk.

“Right, lunch!” Thor clapped his hands. There were murmurs in the office and Bucky nodded, telling them to go ahead and he’d catch them up. He popped his head into Steve’s office.

“Punk, we’re going for lunch.” he said. Steve looked up “you coming?” “No I’m gonna go have half an hour in the gym.” Steve said. Bucky knew that was Steve’s way of working out some of his frustration so he didn’t argue.

“I’m assuming from the lack of a black eye you managed to calm Katie down.” Steve looked at him.

“In a fashion.” Bucky shrugged “I’ll feed her a double cheeseburger like you suggested, she’ll be fine. Just maybe stop with the pet names huh?”

Steve snorted “force of habit.” Bucky gave him a final nod and leaving his friend to it he headed after Natasha and caught the gang up as they walked the block or so down the road. They headed to a table in the corner and Bucky took a seat between Clint and Wanda, picking up the menu and giving it a glance. He looked up momentarily when Natasha spoke to the waitress who took their drinks order, saying she would come back and take the one for their food in a moment. They all began to discuss what they were having, Bucky deciding he would probably go for his usual, the Southern Fried Chicken sandwich. Putting the menu down he looked around the team, Natasha and Wanda leaning together pointing at something on the card before he realised they were one short.

“Hold up…” he frowned “Where’s Stark?”

At that Thor frowned and looked around, as if only just noticing she wasn’t there. Clint gave Natasha a look, one that clearly said ‘I told you so’ whilst Wanda looked down at her nails.

“Have you deliberately not invited her?” Bucky’s frown deepened as he began to realise what it was that Katie had understood before. She’d understood that she hadn’t been invited. 

Fuck.

“We’re just getting a little tired of her attitude.” Natasha sighed. “She was out of line at briefing before.”

“The way she speaks to Steve is disgusting. She’s being such a fucking bitch…” Wanda added. “Ok, that’s enough.” Bucky said sternly. “She’s got a lot going on. And Steve, well frankly, he isn’t innocent in all of this.”

“Oh please!” Wanda snorted “They fucked after a Christmas party and then she made a meal out of it, dramatically running away to DC…”

“That’s not…” Bucky sighed, shaking his head “You know what, it doesn’t matter. I’ll take mine to go. Not having her sitting alone in the office, it’s cruel and frankly I expect more from you.”

Natasha frowned “Do you know something we don’t Serge?” 

“Ask her…or Captain Goldenboy.” he sighed, standing up. He headed over to the counter, ignoring the hushed whispers that had struck up and ordered his own, and then after a pause added a few extra items. He sat by the counter, faffing about on his phone until about 20 minutes later it was ready. Grabbing the bags he headed back, still feeling slightly pissed at the behaviour of the unit.

He headed up the elevator and into the office, crossing towards his desk. Katie was sat at hers, pen between her teeth and he could see she had been crying.

“Hey…”

“Thought you had all gone for lunch…” she said looking up at him and he could tell she was trying to keep her tone casual.

“Decided on take out…” He waved the bag and spotting the logo she smiled, a genuine smile at him and it lit her pretty face up. “Cheeseburger, chilli fries and a vanilla shake?” he asked as he began to unpack the items.

“Thanks Bucky.” she said softly, taking her food from him. He smiled at her again before he took one of the subs he had bought through along with a bag of chips and a soda to Steve’s office, dropping it all on his desk. He was just leaving when Steve walked back into the room, almost bumping into him.

“Thought you were going for lunch?” Steve said, brushing his damp hair back with his right hand.

“I was…” Bucky said, before he gestured to the door. Steve shut it and turned back to his friend “Until I got there and found out they’d deliberately excluded Katie.”

“What?” Steve frowned “Why?” “Sick of her attitude…apparently” Bucky said and Steve sighed.

“So you bailed?” “Yeah, not having her sitting here alone.”

Steve took a deep breath and rubbed at his temple. He looked at Bucky, opened his mouth and then shut it again, shaking his head.

“Spit it out…” Bucky said, looking at him.

“I err, well, there’s nothing going on between you and her is there?” Steve asked, his eyes locking onto Bucky’s.

“What the fuck?” Bucky scowled, an angry flush spreading up his neck to his cheeks “Because I bailed on lunch as she wasn’t there? I did that because it’s fucking cruel…”

“It’s not just the lunch…” Steve cut him off, his eyes still focussed on his “Wanda said she thought you two were having a moment before and I’ve seen the pair of you…” “Man you really are as stupid as you look…” Bucky snorted. “She looked lost this morning, so yeah, I gave her a bit of a hug and a kiss on the head but fuck me Steve…even if I did like her that way do you really think I’d go there knowing your history? You’re by best friend, it’s an unwritten rule…”

There was a silence in the office and Steve sighed, hanging his head.

“Sorry man, I know. I just…”

“Just nothing, get your head out of your ass.” Bucky snorted. “You need to watch Wanda, Steve. She’s got a thing for you and I get the impression she instigated leaving Katie off of the lunch invite. She was being particularly nasty about her this morning too before briefing.”

Steve gave a groan and shook his head “That’s all I need…”

“And as you keep saying, Katie is vicious so you could end up with a full scale bitch fight on your hands.”

“Do you think I should talk to Wanda?”

“To be honest I’m not sure whether that will help.” Bucky shrugged “I’m just telling you to be aware. You say Katie is strong but…well, there’s only so much anyone can take. She’s been crying, I can tell.” He looked at Steve who bit his lip and glanced out through the blinds to where Katie was sat, eating her lunch.

“You brought her lunch back?” Steve looked at him.

“Yeah, is that ok or does it mean we’re fucking?”

“Alright, I said I was sorry…”

“Good, because I got you a Pastrami and rye, extra pickle. And there’s no way I want to be romantically involved with your punk ass so…”

Steve glanced at the bag and when he turned back to look at Bucky, the sergeant was surprised at the look on Steve’s face. Almost like he was about to burst into tears. “Thanks Buck.”

“It’s only a sandwich.”

“No I mean for looking after her.” Steve said, giving him a significant look.

“You’re welcome pal, what can I say? I like your girl.” Steve sighed “She’s not my girl…” “Yeah, yeah…” Bucky said, and with that he turned and left the office.

***** Steve looked up as there was a knock on his open door. Katie stepped in, file in her hand and she strode to his desk, dropping it down.

“Initial profile.” she said, nodding to it “It’s only a basic one at the moment but I’ll keep working on it. I’ve given a copy to Barnes as well and run him through my initial thoughts.”

“You wanna give me the basics?” Steve asked, leaning back in his chair, gesturing for her to take the one on the opposite side of the desk.

“Not really but you’re the boss.” she said, remaining stood up, arms folded “I think we’re looking for a male. The MO doesn’t fit with a female as you know and the victims have all been struck at the back of the head at an angle that would insinuate the height of the attacker in Ross’ case was similar, or in Sitwell’s case taller. Ross is 6ft and the blows took significant strength. Of course it could be a tall, bodybuilding female but I doubt it.”

Steve nodded and waited for her to continue.

“Also the hammer blows…it’s a typical cave man move. A bang on the back of the head, like with a club. Most Male serial killers are known to hunt their victims like that, throw-back to the hunter gatherer days. Women serial killers will normally use poison or suffocation…or if they’re in a frenzy a sharp knife.” He smiled, he had almost forgotten how good she was at this.

“I also believe that the victims were known to our guy, and that they know him too. First off there’s little to no physical resemblance, apart from them being male. Which leads me to believe he is targeting them deliberately. The lack of other marks on the body means they’re not being manhandled out to the place their killed either, so I believe it to be prearranged. Oh, and on that Barnes has had tech start to look at their phone records…see if either of them had calls or messages before hand.” Steve nodded “And the calling card?” “I’m stumped.” Katie said, shrugging. “Literally. I can only, again, go back to what I said in DC. Normally leaving things in mouths is either a sexual thing, which in this case we can rule out as there’s no signs of any sexual activity taking place, or a class statement, you know the whole silver spoon trope. I can only conclude this is his message about how dangerous either an everyday object can be, or how dangerous he can be with an everyday object. It could mean something to the killer, but…”

She paused and then looked at Steve “I want to dig into Sitwell more.” Steve watched her as she continued and bit back the smile at the fact she was telling him what she was going to do rather than asking for permission, like she always had.  “I’m going to call back to the 99, drag the Rumlow case files out…see if there’s anything that can tie Sitwell to Ross or vice versa. I know Rumlow is doing a stretch inside but…” “Sure. I’ll call Holt and let him know.”

With that she gave him a curt nod and went to leave. 

“Katie.” he said gently and she turned to look at him.

“Just be careful”

She didn’t reply, simply gave him a cold look and left. He watched her head to her desk where she said something to Bucky who nodded to her as she picked up her hoody, purse and then the mug in her usual end of day routine- she would NEVER leave an unwashed mug on her desk, no matter what time she was leaving.

A few moments later Bucky popped his head in, telling Steve he was heading off and had a couple of things to do on his way home so he would be later back. By couple of things, Steve assumed he meant a dame so he simply nodded and then once his friend was gone he glanced at the file Katie had left him. Before he started looking at it in detail he needed another coffee. He left his office, heading for the kitchen and as he made his way down the corridor he paused as Natasha’s raised voice hit his ears.

“You know as well as anyone round here, Stark, we’re a family. We look out for one another…and we’re just tired of the way you keep snapping at Steve. It’s not fair…”

“Wait you think... “Katie snorted and let her a bitter laugh "You think that I'm being unreasonable?” "You’re being a bitch!” Nat scoffed

Katie let out another derisive snort “Whatever…” she replied sarcastically and Steve knew from her tone she would be rolling her eyes.

“Look, you slept together. Yeah, we figured as much, and then you ran…” “I ran?” Katie laughed bitterly “Oh, that’s fucking priceless that is! Of course he hasn’t told any of you, wouldn’t want to ruin his God’s Righteous Man reputation would he?” “What are you talking about?” Nat asked.

“I didn’t run anywhere, Nat, he did!” Katie said, her voice loud “After we spent the night together I woke up to find him gone. And then he ghosted me for 3 days.”

"Shit." Nat said gently, "Katie…honestly I had no idea…I knew you'd both...you know but we all just assumed you'd decided it was a mistake and…"

“I wasn’t the one that decided it was a mistake. He did. Nat, I practically begged him to give me a reason to stay but he wouldn't.”

There was a pause and Katie spoke again, and Steve could hear the emotion in her voice. “You know, he told me that he cared, that he’d had feelings for me for years but…then he goes and does this and…”

She trailed off and Steve swallowed, he hated that he had hurt her so much, but more so that he couldn’t do anything to make it right. "I'm so, so sorry." Nat spoke again, her voice soft “I wouldn’t have…well, leaving you off the lunch invite was cruel, I should have said something to Wanda.”

Again nothing. And then Steve heard a sniffle “Shit, Katie come here..." There was the rustling of clothing as he assumed the two women embraced.

“Why didn’t you talk to me?” Nat asked.

“I don’t know I just...I suppose I thought by cutting myself off it would help but it didn’t. I’ve been so lonely…DC is great and the job is amazing but, well all my friends are here and…”

She was crying now and Steve’s heart sank even further. He’d done this to her.

“I’m sorry I ran out on you all like I did…and I should have talked to you I know. I missed you Nat.” “Yeah?” Steve heard the amusement in Nat’s voice.

“Of course I did.” Katie laughed a little “You were my best friend.” “No I wasn’t” Nat said softly.

“Well, my best girlfriend…” Katie replied.

"Have you told any of the 99 you're back in town?" Nat asked after a short pause. "No." "You should call Diaz. Us girls can go out, beers and a catch up."

"I'd like that. That is if Wanda hasn’t poisoned me before hand." Katie snorted. "Yeah well she’s sweet on Cap... you know that. " "She’s welcome to him. Let him give her the best fuck of her life and bail before the toast is ready." "The best fuck of your life?” Nat said, chuckling “That’s some claim.”

Katie gave a bitter laugh. "And don’t I wish it wasn't true."

“Well you know what they say…” Nat replied “The best way to get over a man is get under another one.” Steve didn’t want to hear anymore. He couldn’t. Frankly the thought of her with anyone else was enough to make him ill. He turned and strode back the way he had come and grabbed the files, shoving them into his laptop bag along with his tablet and his trusted leather bound notebook Katie had bought him the previous year. He’d do this at home, he didn’t want to be in the station anymore.

He was in a daze as he drove through the streets off Brooklyn, Katie’s voice ringing in his ears. "She’s welcome to him. Let him give her the best fuck of her life and bail before the toast is ready."  Her tone had been cold, callous, a far cry from the Katie he knew and loved.  A fuck. That’s all she believed she was, but it had never been about that, she meant far more to him. She always had. He couldn’t blame her for thinking that at all, but hearing her speak about him that way was tearing him in two, especially as he knew it was his fault.

Bucky was right, he should have left her well alone, got another profiler on the case. And it was for that reason he made a snap decision. He’d talk to her tomorrow, give her the opportunity to go back to DC.

He was that wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the car running the red light, as it hurtled towards him. The last thing he remembered was hearing the screeching of tyres and brakes, the sounding of a horn, and then the squealing and crunching of metal caused by a harsh impact to the driver’s side of his vehicle. He was thrown sideways, his car sent into a spin, his head snapping painfully to the side as it collided with the metal of his door column as it folded inwards.

And everything went black.  

@the-omni-princess  @momobaby227​ @geekofmanythings16 @angelofhell-666 @thewackywriter @marvelfansworld  @cobalt-gear  @asgardlover75 @jennmurawski13  @jtargaryen18 @saiyanprincessswanie​  @navispalace​ @patzammit​  @joannaliceevans-fanficblog​ @djeniiscorner​  @ayamenimthiriel​  @coldmuffinbanditshoe​  @disneylovingal​ @madzmilllz​  @sgtjaamesbaarnes​ @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ @southerngracela​ @goldenfightergir​ @kellymat​ @official-and-unstable-satan​ @charmed-asylum​ @pagesoflauren​

[makeste]

BnHA Vigilantes Chapters 59 - 65: Emergency Catch-Up Blog

before I start, please be advised that the following post will contain a potential MAJOR SPOILER FOR CHAPTER 253, which has not yet been released! please don’t be an idiot like me and spoil yourselves, guys. stay safe.

but anyways yes, this is my recap post for Those Chapters of Vigilantes. at long last. hooray! by the way this is barely edited at all, on account of it being a rush job (see re: the “Emergency” bit in the header). just some raw, unfiltered, [CENSORED SPOILER THING] thoughts and feelings! hopefully it’s readable; when I have more time I’ll try and clean it up a bit more.

so now, first off, credit where credit is due because omg

bless you anon, you saved my life

but let me backtrack! looool so guys, I did a dumb thing and peeked at a spoiler, and read the name “Shirakumo”, and was like FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK and noped out, but it was too late lol. so then I was like “HOW DO I CATCH UP ON THE ENTIRETY OF VIGILANTES IN LESS THAN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS”, fully aware that I probably wasn’t going to do shit and would most likely just spend tomorrow apologizing and shrugging my way through the new chapter. and by the way guys, I’ll go ahead and throw in one of those apologies now, because I’ve had at least a dozen anons implore me to pick up Vigilantes, and I’m fully aware that Aizawa’s past has been covered (including one (1) cloudy boi), and that it’s really good. I just haven’t had the energy to do it! because reading and liveblogging are two very different things, and the latter just takes so much more time and energy honestly. so I kept putting it off and off and off, and now here I am

but then this ask came along telling me exactly which chapters to read in order to get the context I need! so seriously anon, you are the MVP of my week, and I appreciate this so, so much. I am now off to read those chapters, and I apologize to everyone again, but while I will liveblog them, it’ll probably be kind of a rush job due to the circumstances. like I won’t get into every single detail here, because it’s six whole chapters. but I’ll do my best

hmm I don’t know what constitutes the second half of chapter 59 lol so here I am reading the whole damn thing

AIZAWA BEING FRIENDS WITH MIDNIGHT, AND MIDNIGHT HAS A CAT OH GOSH

looool

personally, Aizawa hated school. he would never ever dream of becoming a teacher. how ridiculous. irrational af

“we’ll have you teaching at U.A. soon enough” psssh. not this man, sister

he’s hanging up on her now. honestly I am glad I did not skip the first part of this chapter lol

some wolfman is chasing the protag of this series whose name I forgot, as well as a little girl and ANOTHER CAT. this series has so many cats?! apparently!?

Aizawa is saving the cat. the hero we deserve

the protag whose name I am about to look up wants to adopt the cat, which prompts Aizawa to launch into a 2500-word essay on why he should not adopt the cat

okay the kid’s name is Koichi. he’s apparently 19 in the series, but I don’t know how old he is in this particular scene though because I have the vague impression that the series at large takes place in present-day BnHA time, which would mean this is definitely a flashback. so. ??

OHO, NOW IT’S A FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK!!? so this is the Aizawa past thing everyone’s been all “!!!!” about. well here you go guys

young Shouta is staring at an abandoned kitty in a box in the rain

he left the cat, but also left his umbrella over it, awww

and he arrived at class all wet. and his teacher says he can go change his clothes, but he’s all “NAH I’M EMO SO I’LL JUST STAY LIKE THIS”, wow

“I’m powerless” jesus christ Shou get a grip

here comes Present Mic to forcibly lift his best bud’s spirits. they’re in second year apparently

Present Mic, and I mean this in the most loving and affectionate way possible, is the most annoying man on the planet

how was he not just constantly punched in the face at all times. like constantly walking around being punched by people

well well well

something horrible is sure going to happen to you, isn’t it? here I thought you were probably dead, but I’m kinda getting the inkling [SPOILERS, FOLKS, I’M SERIOUS] you’re gonna maybe show up in the latest chapter of the main series, so I guess not! congratulations I guess?? OR MAYBE NOT

“dammit Shirakumo” oh so it’s like that

their teacher deserves a raise. never thought we’d see another U.A. faculty member more done with life than Aizawa himself

hey Shirakumo is giving Shouta his umbrella back, but what about the cat?! SHIRAKUMO ARE YOU REALLY A NICE GUY, I’M NOT SURE YET

meanwhile he’s stripping naked in the middle of class. oh yes. I forgot Vigilantes was like this

he’s using his cloud quirk to censor himself where it counts

“and inside this cloud... is this charming little creature” lol we think he’s talking about his penis but then he pulls out the cat! WELL NEVER MIND THEN SHIRAKUMO

so Shouta is sitting around thinking emo thoughts that are gradually giving way to some decidedly un-hetero thoughts about Shirakumo, who’s doing that shounen thing where he smiles with his eyes closed while being silhouetted against the bright sun. maaaaan. Aizawa you are hella gay my dude

okay next chapter and they’re being assigned internships

Shirakumo’s hero costume is... well let’s just say it’s a good thing he’s got such a badass quirk

he’s riding around on that cloud like Goku. like a fucking Lakitu from Super Mario

now the teachers are talking about the three boys and whether they’ll be able to land internships

“Yamada shouldn’t have a problem. his voice quirk has applications in battle, rescue, and entertainment. but the boy’s a bit distractible.” okay first of all how the hell would Mic ever rescue a person with his quirk. fucking scream them to safety or what. and second, by distractible you mean punchable right. again, all the love

oh my god he’s so cute

lmao this is seriously my favorite picture of Aizawa ever. GO GETTEM SLUGGER

so Shouta is getting bullied by some guy with a decidedly Katsuki-ish quirk, except he shoots jets of fire out of his hands. but anyway he says that fighting Shouta is boring. SHUT UP, YOU. YOU’RE BORING

Shouta is so emo. but he really does want to be a good hero, he just doesn’t know how. he seems very frustrated

he’s lecturing Kumo on not giving people-food to the cat. and now he has picked up the cat and is cradling and bottle-feeding it like an infant. bless

this manga really has a gag panel of the cat pissing on Shirakumo afterwards, like. see this is another reason why I haven’t exactly been in a rush to read it sob. my sense of humor doesn’t really seem to align with Furuhashi’s

oH MY GOD

high school Midnight is the coolest person I have ever seen and I want to be just like her when I grow up

aaaaand she is literally not wearing any clothes except that belt and those boob-holsters. which, I mean, it’s not like she really dresses any differently in the main series, but this being Vigilantes, I’m sure we’ll get another half a dozen pages showing extreme close-ups of her costume from various angles. again, another area where this series and I don’t quite see eye to eye, but it’s all right since we’re just passing through here

and one year later they wrote a literal law limiting how much exposed skin a hero costume can show. oh Midnight. meanwhile I forgot how much this series makes me appreciate Horikoshi, flaws and all. I’ll take a thousand Minetas over this shit honestly. at least Mineta always gets his comeuppance. but anyway

they have named the cat “Sushi”

Midnight is straight up taking the cat lmao

Yamada got an internship. one down, two to go

Midnight’s back and showing them a video of the cat pooping. one joke about the cat’s bathroom habits in a single chapter was not enough, we’re going for two. not like we have anything more important to cover, like Aizawa getting an internship and something terrible and tragic happening to his boyfriend. let’s just keep talking about cat poop

okay here we go, Midnight says her boss will take them as interns

“Loud Cloud” lmao. home run hero name. GOAT

so Shouta’s chasing a villain and nearly got crushed by a safe that he threw at him, but he’s being saved by some guy who I’m guessing is his boss

oh my

this is the kind of weirdness that only a manga can get away with. I wonder how this idea came into being and whose idea it was, Horikoshi’s or Furuhashi’s. maybe the two of them hitting each other up back and forth in a text chain. “so I’m doing Aizawa’s flashback now, who do you want to have him to intern under?” “hmm I don’t know but I was thinking literally Prince”

Prince is chewing Shouta out something fierce

I thought I was prepared for these Aizawa flashbacks, but some things you can never be prepared for

lol he asked Shouta how he fucked up, and Shouta started listing all of his tactical errors, and Prince interrupted him and is all “I’M TALKIN’ ‘BOUT THAT GLOOMY FACE” listen son just who do you think your intern is. THAT’S JUST HIS FACE LEAVE HIM ALONE

he says Aizawa wears his stress all over his sleeve and bums people out

he’s telling him to smile! now where have we heard that philosophy before

hello

I’m just reblogging this panel because of reasons

so Shouta is sulking in the locker room, and Shirakumo is showering off and says his MO is to keep smiling even when he screws up

now Midnight is texting Shouta 500 cat pictures

lmao we can’t see Shouta’s face, but Kumo is streaking in and is all “THERE’S THAT SMILE, SUNSHINE!!!!”

OH SHIT NOW IT’S A FEW DAYS LATER AND THE VILLAIN IS BACK BUT THIS TIME SHOUTA DONE GOT HIM SOME GOGGLES!! the path from adorable to sexy begins. the Longbottoming

oh shit the goggles belong to Shirakumo. the gayening. and they were roommates

Shouta’s using his quirk!

and the bad guy is all “I don’t need my quirk to crush you” and straight up demolishing the fucking pavement yikes

and Kumo is leaping at him from above and whomping him on the head

yay they caught him. and Shouta is...

he’s trying. they’ll coax a real smile out of him yet! just show him a Youtube compilation of Logical Ruses

now he and Shirakumo have matching pairs of goggles. I’m just gonna assume this means they are married

the fire hands bully guy from earlier is coming over to start some shit again

he says he also realized the importance of eye protection through his internship. and Mic says he stole the idea from him

now the class is partnering off for two-on-two battle training, and Kumo is partnering with Shouta

they’re going up against Mic and Fire Hands, and for some reason they’re making a wager of it. whoever loses has to stop wearing glasses. this is easily the stupidest thing I have seen in this series yet, not to mention the most accurate

Kumo’s grinning at Shouta and saying the goggles symbolize their friendship and they have to defend them. you know, lovable scamp stuff

now Shirakumo and Shouta are double teaming the Fire Hands guy and taking him out in seconds because OF COURSE THEY DID. lol he never fucking stood a chance

but Shouta’s handing the glasses back and says that two-on-one isn’t fair so he’s calling the wager off

aaaand Fire Hands is snatching them back and stomping on them. and says he doesn’t need them

listen you dingus, yes you do fucking need them. and also he says he didn’t lose! wow this guy really has his head up his ass. I’d say he reminds me of a CERTAIN SOMEONE, but you know what, I’ll give Mr. Certain Someone his fair credit though, because he managed to get his shit together long before his second year. Fire Hands still needs to grow up

the teacher is telling him he missed the point of the exercise, and FH is literally ignoring him and running off wow

apparently Mic also gave up his sunglasses and got himself a pair of goggles. well we know that’s not gonna last. and for that matter, Shouta’s gonna change out his goggles for a different model as well. ohhhhh some tragedy is on the horizon I just know it, this is gonna hurt

Shirakumo says the three of them should start their own agency. ahhh. buddy I’m here reading this from the future, and I gotta tell you, son... shit’s awkward as fuck

and he’s pointing out all the different ways they complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses

Shouta says he can’t do anything on his own, but Kumo says that just means he’s suited to teamwork

Kumo’s inviting Midnight to join them, but she’s declining lol

Shouta’s looking at the sky all dramatically. oh baby this is it isn’t it. things are about to get rough

“one week later”

NOO THEY HURT MY PRECIOUS PRINCE

SOMEONE IS CALLING FOR BACKUP AND THE CAMERA IS ZOOMING IN ON A BUSTED UP PAIR OF GOGGLES, FUCK EVERYTHING

now we’re cutting to Mic and Fire Hands and FH replaced his sunglasses with a pair of goggles. goggles are just the in thing now

Fire Hands talks about Aizawa so much I’m starting to ship the two of them now as well. damn Shouta how many high school boyfriends did you have??

so they’re fighting off some toad monster and it’s absorbing all their attacks

meanwhile Shouta and Kumo are literally helping kindergartners to cross the street

look at this

it’s beyond my comprehension how anyone could possibly mistake this man for anything but a future teacher

even Kumo is commenting on how natural he is at working with kids

oH MY GOD the kids waved goodbye and said “bye Eraserhead” and it prompted a little smile

Kumo says Shouta psychs himself out and convinces himself he can’t do stuff, but really he can do just about anything if he puts his mind to it. aww. and he’s right!!

oh shit here comes the toad

so this toad’s name is Garvey, and he’s literally wanted for murder oh shit. and he has a Fatgum-like quirk that can absorb attacks and store them up to release them

and some idiots hit him with a combined attack that ended up powering him the fuck up. well shit

so Prince is placing a rose in between his teeth and getting ready to fight this toad off. do it I believe in you

now a lot is happening all at once, jesus. Shouta and Kumo were trying to evacuate the kids but then the toad just appeared right there like wtf, and then Prince also showed up out of nowhere and went to hit the thing with a flying jump kick

aaaand he’s getting blasted into a building

oof. and getting even further blasted now. welp

Kumo’s protecting the kiddos with his Nimbus quirk!

OH FUCKING SHIT AND THEN HE GOT CRACKED IN THE HEAD BY A GIANT FALLING ROCK

um

is this bitch fucking dead now. I can’t believe they fucking Obitoed my bro Shirakumo

so now the toad is looming over them, and Shouta realizes he’s the only one left standing, and all his doubts are filtering into his mind as he desperately tries to think of how to stop him

and Shirakumo’s... gourd... thing... is klunking in out of nowhere, and it has a little speaker on it, and it’s all “YOU GOT THIS AIZAWA” and wtf. this is like something out of a weird fever dream

OH SHIT BOYS AIZAWA SHOUTA DONE GOT HIS GAME FACE ON NOW

THE LONGBOTTOMING CONTINUES

so now he’s leaping fifty feet into the air, somehow, and thinking that his Erasure quirk will at least level the playing field. well all right then! you go boy

now it’s raining and of course bolts of lightning are dramatically hitting the ground all around them

Shouta’s kicking off the lil power toad lumps one by one lol

literally just jumping all around and kickin’ stuff

oof he took a bad hit. but he’s sitting back up!

Kumo’s disembodied gourd voice keeps shouting encouragement at him though, idk. so there’s that

he says Shouta’s strong and he won’t lose, and Shouta is all “RAHHHHHHH.” you guys, if 1-A ever found out about this flashback they would never let the man live it down. hell I’m not gonna let him live it down. okay then. Mr. RAHHHHHH

he’s doing some weird stuff with his capture weapon now. I think maybe he grabbed a rock with it and chucked it at the guy

and now the guy is shooting all his toad lumps at Shouta all at once! WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

yooooo Shouta literally grabbed them all with the capture weapon and he’s CHUCKIN’ EM ALL INTO THE DUDE’S MOUTH Y’ALL THIS IS SOME REAL FUCKING SHIT LMAO GET WRECKED

so the guy is blowing up from the inside out. yeah that’s what you get for murdering Shouta’s childhood friend you piece of shit

and Shouta’s collapsing in exhaustion but happily shouting “SHIRAKUMO I DID IT” before he passes out. oh my god don’t tell me Kumo is already dead and Shouta just hallucinated his voice or some shit. THEN WHO WAS GOURD omg

oooooof here we go

[places both hands on Shouta’s shoulders and looks him dead in the eye] son I don’t know how to tell you this, but Shirakumo has been dead for twenty years

wow can someone just fucking tell Shouta already so he stops depressing everyone and making an idiot out of himself. geez how long are you all gonna stand around despondently shooting knowing looks at each other in the rain

so they’re picking up the gourd speaker thing and OF COURSE it’s visibly broken and there’s no possible way Kumo’s voice could have been coming out of it. especially since he has been dead for twenty years. here’s a picture of his grave. oh shit what’s that little grave right next to his?? OH MY GOD IT’S THE CAT. OH MY GOD

oh fuck me

Y’ALL REALLY DID THESE BABIES LIKE THAT. HORIKOSHI!! FURUHASHI!! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW I WANT A WORD!!

so now Fire Hands, who is trying his best to be comforting but is just SO BAD AT IT, is all “Aizawa you went toe to toe with this thing and beat it YOURSELF!! ALL ALONE!!!” jesus christ I need a minute

OH DAMN A CALLBACK TO THE RAIN “THIS KINDA FITS OUR VIBE RIGHT NOW” LINE but now it’s saaaaaaaad oh no

I mean. I knew going in that this was going to be Aizawa’s sad childhood flashback about his friend Shirakumo whom something very terrible happened to. it’s not like I’m even surprised. I knew what I was getting myself into here. but damn that still hurts

do you guys think that having a permanent image of his best friend forever immortalized as a cheerful seventeen-year-old, and being forever haunted by the memory of that seventeen-year-old being cut down in the prime of his life, might have given Aizawa Shouta lasting trauma which carried over into his adulthood and makes him do desperately reckless things when children are at risk, such as leaping into battle against an army of villains all alone. dammit now I want to grab every single problem child of 1-A and shake them roughly and scream at them for all the sleepless nights they have doubtless caused this man

so now here he and Mic are both being sad

aww Mic. I’m sorry I keep wanting to punch you in the face. it’s just reflex

and now it’s one year later and the class is gearing up for the sports festival

well look who is almost fully done with his metamorphosis

you will soon be a beautiful butterfly

he is literally going to sleep in the middle of class. well depression makes people tired. sigh

he’s got his familiar goggles now! and he’s kicking FH’s ass and lecturing him on how to fight better. damn his character development is complete

and he’s helping FH to his feet aww. definitely boyfriends. this man gets around

his teachers now say that Shouta has gotten too complacent, if anything, and phones everything in once he knows he’s got a passing grade, and only gets passionate when it comes to practical exercises

and now we’re cutting to the gym and Shouta is indeed training passionately while Mic sits in the corner looking bummed. all these kids have been through far too much in their young lives

Shouta’s handing in his career aspiration form, and he wrote that he wants to start his own agency and focus on “fighting, and nothing else”

his scruffy facial hair is already starting to come in now. it’s true what they say, having a tragic past does indeed make you hotter

anyways but can we get this boy a hug!? anybody?? hello??!?

now they’re graduating and Shouta is disappearing in a poof of smoke and now there’s this big panel with flashbacks to his career up to the current point in Vigilantes!

and we’re back in the ~present~ and he’s telling Koichi to take good care of that cat. aaaand, I guess that’s that. geez. that was a lot

so there you go! the Aizawa flashbacks! they were very sad! all in all I really enjoyed them! so now, if Shirakumo isn’t actually dead (seeing as it’s a shounen manga that pays homage to comic books, so safe to say that People Not Actually Being Dead is a Certified Phenomenon, like it’s definitely a THING THAT CAN SOMETIMES HAPPEN), well then. tomorrow’s chapter is sure going to be interesting to say the least. lulz but maybe I’ve got it all wrong though. guess I’ll find out!

[mrcleanheichou]

Forever and Ever

When two young people fall in love others often call it puppy love. A love so intense that ultimately fizzles out very quickly. No one believes someone so young could fall for someone so fast and have it be genuine until they see it with their own eyes.

Pairing Cowboy!Jungkook x reader

Genre fluff, angst, smut

Word count 2.2K

Warnings small amount of smut like touching the D over his pants and peer pressure (if that’s a warning)

A/N Hi everyone! This is my first ever fic that I’ve written in 2 years. I used to run a smut reaction blog for another fandom. So this is my first actual plot based story. I want to thank @poundingthewitchdrums93 for helping me cultivate this countryside yee haw AU and to @machiavelliancarribeanmidget for always encouraging me. This is also very self indulgent because i really wanted Cowboy Jungkook but i couldn’t find any fics. So I took matters into my own hands and this baby was born.

Chapter 1

1935

Once a week for the past 3 years, rain or shine, an old man makes his way to the town cemetery. Cemetery workers know him by name and they all have a soft spot for him. They all pitched in and bought a nice bench for him so he no longer had to sit on the ground. He wanted to pay them back for their kindness but they refused his money as it was their gift. So instead of showing his thanks with money he started bring apples from his apple orchard. He had always brought two each time he came but now he brings a bag full to share. She would have wanted it that way. She always told him ‘When you have something sweet you should never keep it all to yourself.’

The man dropped off the bag of apples at the office and made his way down the winding path. As he got closer to his destination he saw the sunflowers he had planted. She always loved them, never missing the opportunity to tell him that they reminded her of him. ‘They are bright and always move towards the sun just like you.’

He can feel the tears welling up in his eyes as he places the apple down in front of the headstone that reads “*Jeon Y/N, Doting wife and loving mother 1840-1932*

“Do you remember what day it is, Y/N? This is the day I met the woman I would love forever.”

1862

“Hyung, I don’t want to go” a young man whines as his big black horse walks behind two others, whose riders are way more enthusiastic.

“I don’t want hear it, Jungkook. I already told you we’re going to make you a man. You’re 20, it’s time you get your dick wet.”

“I’ve never heard a man complain about losing his virginity before”, the smaller of the two snickered looking back at the younger man. Jungkook just rolls his eyes and adjusts his hat.

“I’d rather not lose it to some random prostitute. Unlike you two heathens I have morals” he barked back.

“Oh, don’t be so uptight. Jimin and I both lost ours at a brothel.”

“They know what they’re doing so you’re in good hands... Literally”, Jimin laughs as he stops his horse “Taehyung and I are both paying for you and we’re getting you the top girl. So be grateful.”

“Yeah, you little shit. Do you know how much she charges? You’re lucky we love you”, Taehyung says as he snaps his reins to get his horse to start jogging.

As the town gets closer Jungkook can’t help but feel dread. He really does not want to go to the saloon with his hyungs. They always push him to go upstairs with the saloon girls but he manages to escape every time. This time he knows they are going to ensure he goes into the room. It’s not like he thinks there’s anything wrong with having sex with the saloon girls it’s just not something he’s interested in. He wants to only do that with the woman he falls in love with. Call him old fashioned but he knows what he wants.

The town they come to is called Coyote Creek. It’s a small town but it’s closer to Bangtan Ranch than Silver Landings, a much larger town, is. Personally Jungkook loves this little town, everyone is friendly and there’s hardly any trouble unless a group of rouge bandits or some angry drunk cowboys come through. But the sheriff and his deputies take care of them quickly.

Riding through town Jungkook hears a sound that always makes him smile. The children are out playing during school. He loves to see them have fun and know that they’re learning. He feels envious each time though because his father didn’t let him go to school. He made him work at their farm all day. Constantly telling him he was only good for working in the fields so why waste time sending him to school. Although Jungkook never got a proper education that does not mean he isn’t smart. He’s very quick witted and knows his way around the world. He just has trouble reading things and some issues with math. The man who took Jungkook in and hired him as a ranch hand tried teaching him but it ended up with both of them getting frustrated.

Stopping his horse to watch the children and to say hello to Mrs. Choi, the kind teacher who he always greets. But instead of Mrs. Choi he is shocked to see a beautiful young woman there instead.

“Jinwoo, apologize to Yeunjae. It’s not nice to hit”, the woman says firmly. She is standing beside a crying boy who is holding onto her skirt for dear life.

“I’m sorry for hitting you”, another boy says while looking at the ground in shame. The first boy sniffles and mumbles “It’s ok.”

“Thank you, Jinwoo, for saying you’re sorry, now both of you run along and play with everyone else.”

The woman moves to sit on the steps of the school to watch over the children. While Jungkook sits watching her transfixed.

“Yah! Kookie hurry up!” Jimin yells at him already tying his horse up. At that the woman looks over and notices Jungkook staring. Jungkook panics and freezes at the eye contact. He finally snaps out of it and hurries to where Jimin and Taehyung were waiting blushing furiously. If Jimin and Taehyung saw how red his face is they didn’t say anything.

“Why were you taking so long?”, Taehyung asks as they walk into the loud smoke filled room.

“No reason, I just started spacing out.”

“Well, you better not do that later. Just because they’re getting paid doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to show them a good time”, Jimin said as they navigated through the poker tables with high stakes games being played. Once they made it to the bar Taehyung ordered a full bottle of whiskey and three glasses. As soon as they sit down to start drinking a woman comes up to them.

“Why hello there Jimin. Did you really miss me that much?”, A woman said running her hand on Jimin’s chest.

“You know I always miss you Rosé”, he says making her giggle. “But I’m not here for me I’m here for my friend over there”, he pulls out some cash “I was hoping you could show him a good time. He’s never been with a woman.”

Rosé looks over at Jungkook while he tries to shrink in his chair. “Ooo Jimin look at what you brought me. A virgin and a cute one to boot. Yes, I’ll do it. I’ll send some of my other girls down for you two”, she says tucking the money into her bra as she approaches Jungkook and touches his cheek which makes him flinch.

“It’s ok honey, I don’t bite”, she smiles at him before she leans closer to his ear “unless you want me to.” He immediately turns red while she smirks at his reaction.

“C’mon big boy lets go upstairs”, she says as she grabs his hand and starts to lead him to the private rooms.

“Have fun!”, Taehyung yelled across the bar as they started up the stairs

“Don’t come back too fast!”, Jimin called after him. Jungkook just gives both of them dirty looks.

As they walked all the way to the end of the, surprisingly nice looking, hallway all that could be heard was the sound of sex. Loud moans of pleasure from women who didn’t care if anyone heard. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t getting a little aroused.

“Right in here, honey.” Rosé says as she opens the door to a room that smells faintly of vanilla. The room contents are sparse. Just a large bed, a wooden chair and a small table. Jungkook follows as she pulls him to the soft looking bed. “Go ahead and lay down for me.”

He follows orders as she gets on the bed and slowly starts running a hand down his chest to right above his belt buckle then back up again. She could feel him tense up. “It’s ok baby, I know you’re nervous but you don’t need to be. I know it’s your first time. I’ll be gentle I promise.”

Jungkook chokes on a breath when he feels her hand on the growing length between his legs. She smiles at his reaction “See you have nothing to worry about. Just relax and let me take care of you.”, she says gently squeezing him causing Jungkook to involuntary buck up into her hand.

As Rosé starts working on getting his belt undone Jungkook closes his eyes and thinks back to the pretty school teacher. That makes his dick twitch in his pants. Then he suddenly realizes where he is and what’s happening. “I-I-I’m sorry but I can’t do this” he says as he grabs Rosé’s wrist.

“What’s the matter? Are you not comfortable? We can try something else.”

Jungkook stands up and redoes his belt. “No, that’s not it. I just...” he pauses embarrassed “I just didn’t want it to happen this way.”

She looks at him as she puts two and two together. “They’re making you do this, huh.” He just nods “That’s alright Hun, I’m not in the business of forcing anyone to do what they don’t want to. Although, I was really looking forward to you being inside me” she pouts as Jungkook’s face turns even redder “I’ll cut you a deal. If you ever change your mind in the future I won’t charge you.”

“Thank you”, Jungkook says visibly relieved.

Jungkook got up and adjusted himself before walking out the door. His nose is once again filled with the smell of smoke and alcohol as opposed to the sweet vanilla of Rosé’s room. He makes his way through the small crowd of rowdy drunk men. He looked toward the bar to see if Jimin and Taehyung were still there. When he couldn’t see them he went for the door. Once outside in the fresh air he sighed, going to where their hoses were.

“Hey, Dolly”, the horse as dark as coal snorted at him and bumped her nose against his hand. Beside her a light grey stallion tosses his head and whinnies at Jungkook trying to get his attention. “Aish, I see you Silver no need to have a fit.”

Before he can give the fussy horse some attention Jungkook caught the sound of school children running along the street. He perked up as he saw the woman walking along with some of the children making sure they don’t get trampled by wagons as they travel in the street. Her y/h/c hair was done up nicely and her light blue dress flowed as she held the hand of a little girl.

The woman must have felt him staring because she looked to where Jungkook was, making eye contact with him. Jungkook reacted by ducking out of sight.

What he didn’t see was the woman chuckle to her self as she was pulled away by the impatient children.

Once out of sight he took some deep breaths and touched his face face trying to calm down. He couldn’t understand why he was feeling this way. He’s seen beautiful women before but he’s never felt much towards them. Even when they practically throw themselves at his feet. What made her so special?

Jin hyung loves to talk about love at first sight but Jungkook always tunes him out when he gets worked up about the subject. Now he’s thinking Jin might be onto something.

About twenty minutes later Jimin and Taehyung come through the swinging saloon doors with huge smiles. Taehyung wrestles Jungkook into a headlock knocking his hat off and messing up his hair.

“Aww, my little Jungkookie is a man now”, Taehyung says as he lets Jungkook go, pretending to wipe away a tear. while Jungkook scowls at him brushing the dirt off his hat.

“So how was it?”, Jimin asks as he unties the knot he tied Silver’s reins into.

“It was ok”, Jungkook says trying to avoid Jimin’s eyes. “Just ok?”, Taehyung asks in disbelief.

“I-I mean great! Amazing! I wish I would have done that sooner” Jungkook said laughing nervously.

“Right?! There’s nothing better than good pussy!”, Taehyung exclaims a little too loud earning them some glares from the ladies across the street. Jimin just gives Jungkook a look like he’s trying to see through his lie.

Jungkook deflects by hastily getting on his horse, “Are you guys ready? I want to go home.”

“Oh, you think you call the shots now? Kids these days have no respect”, Taehyung says dramatically.

“Hurry up”, Jungkook answers back.

The three men head out to back to the cattle ranch from which they came. On the way out Jungkook looks towards the old school building trying to catch a glimpse of the woman who has held his attention all day. Of course he knew she wouldn’t be there but he still feels disappointed.

Jungkook doesn’t fully understand what he’s feeling but one thing he knows for sure. He’s going to try to come to town as much as he can.