#also where the FUCK is Kass??

[flavinbagel]

The removal of Wolf Link as an Amiibo-powered companion and the continued lack of a dog-petting mechanic are TotK's biggest faults and are frankly heinous on Nintendo's part.

remember when nintendo made those few official arts of botw!link and wolf!link hanging out together? i miss them. they were so fun

[ofcowardiceandkings]

no TotK DLC feels like a weird choice, like so weird i dont believe it

[a-bit-too-much-of-a-zelda-fan]

I really like the decision to set TotK a few years after BotW, as opposed to the few months we’re used to in direct Zelda sequels. It gave the world a substantial amount of time to change. Hyrule is livelier. In the years of relative peace since Calamity Ganon was vanquished, it’s been allowed to grow and thrive. Hateno Village, the largest Hylian settlement, is becoming economically significant as a tourist destination and food supplier. It’s especially cool to see Riju, Tulin, and Kass’s kids mature into their adult/teenage years, respectively.

Building on that, I think it’s neat that Link is in his early twenties now. This is the oldest Link we’ve ever played as (Skyward Sword held the previous record at 17.5 y/o). He’s had time to adjust to life post-calamity. His traumatic mutism seems to be all but gone. You ever notice just how much he talks in this game? Dialogue options galore, he’s constantly explaining things to other characters, all that. And he’s more expressive, too. He outright laughs when he fuses weapons.

Link’s relationship with Zelda has also had time to grow. Guys. Fellas. Broskis. They live in the same house. In which there is only one bed. They are together. The implication here is that they share most of their meals together, and remember, it’s key to his characterization that he opens up emotionally when he’s cooking or eating. That means there has been a lot of quality bonding time between them.

Before and during the Calamity, Link served as Zelda’s royal bodyguard because the king demanded it of him. Given how he went mostly mute from the pressure of being entrusted with the princess’s safety and being chosen as the Hylian Champion (at age 17, mind you), I’d wager he didn’t particularly like the assignment until he started bonding with her. He looks downright sad when she snaps at him in that one memory at the shrine. Hell, he doesn’t smile once in the memories.

But you know what? I get the feeling that Link protects her now not out of duty like he used to, but out of love. That’s powerful because “love conquers all” and all that, but also, there’s no external pressure to be her bodyguard. Until the Upheaval, he was done being a special little hero. He was just a swordsman, but he still went where Zelda went to protect her. So instead of being crushed by that pressure, protecting her is an expression of his love for her. It’s a choice and he’s doing it because he wants to, not because it was forced on him.

That’s a lot of growth to go through, and it was paced over several years. He doesn’t appear to have aged much, but enough time has passed that Hudson has a daughter who can hold a mature conversation. That’s what, 5 years old? Yeah, Link is in his early twenties. Fucking finally, the task of saving the world falls on the shoulders of an adult (although speaking as someone entering his mid-twenties, that honestly isn’t much better).

I’m starting to ramble here so I’ll leave a parting observation of Link and Zelda’s house in Hateno. Zelda has redecorated a fair bit since moving in with Link, replacing his weapon racks with photos of her horse and various Hyruleans (her subjects who she cares deeply for), but the photo of her, Link, and the Champions is still up. And that’s really cute.

[yandere-fics]

Kassien and younger sister who tries to romance powerful demon in hopes to take down Kass a peg or two because lately Kassien has been mean to her so she tries to hit her where it hurts (insecure much?). Bratty little sister who enjoys fucking (mentally) with her lol

Two bastards who toy witch each other too much

♡ Kassien With A Sister Who Tries To Date A Higher Ranked Demon ♡

As much as Kassien could be incredibly sweet to you at times, very protective of her little sister and soulmate and always spoiling you, she could also be incredibly mean when her sister didn't listen to her rules or you tried to do anything for yourself, this week she'd spent an hour lecturing you about how you were defenseless as a lesser demon and you needed to be good and listen to her because without her you could be severely hurt by anything, you were useless without her, you wouldn't have survived a day in the demon realm without her, all because you had gone on a snack run in the evening when she was working late and you had bumped into someone and fallen over and she just happened to be getting out of work right at that moment to see it. So you decided you would show her that she was also weak in comparison to high ranking demons, just to wipe that smug look off her face and as soon as you got your outdoor privileges back, you beelined it straight to the nearest area where demons liked to spend their time, mostly mateless demons, to try to flirt with someone, obviously you were Kassien's mate, not theirs so no one would take you up on the offer but if she just saw you flirting with a higher ranked demon then surely she'd realize she was also weak by comparison. That was hard when only one demon there, a demon with 4 wings, clearly an upper ranked one, was even willing to approach you, which was when you got drunk and spilled everything to the demon who much to your surprise said they would help you show your sister that she was so much weaker than a high ranker and you were much too drunk to even ponder why this demon was willing to help you with this as you took their arm and lead them straight to where you and Kassien lived, Kassien angry when she opened the door and only angrier when she saw you drunk and a high ranked demon behind you, clearly ready to tear her to shreds so you could be theirs instead.

"Lovely, go to our bedroom, I'll deal with this." The other demon gripped your arm and you looked up at them confused, the liquor just barely beginning to wear off.

"No, they'll be staying here, so they can watch." Kassien gripped your arm, trying to yank you away from the other demon who instead shoved you behind them, you falling to the ground as they started to punch Kassien who was just barely fending the attacks off as you started to realize they might actually kill your sister which wasn't really wanted you wanted, you just wanted her to feel mildly insecure so you threw yourself at them to try to stop it only for the other demon to accidentally hit you and for Kassien to fly into a rage, yanking off their wings with her teeth and taking advantage of them crying in agony to strangle them, falling to the floor panting as she beckoned you over to her, you tearing up because you almost got your sister killed.

"Don't ever fucking do that again, Lovely. I will kill every demon in this city if that's what I have to do. Do I make myself clear?" She gripped your face painfully, smiling as you nodded and falling to the floor with you in her arms, breathing in relief that she won and got to keep you.

[kokiriofthevalley]

My silly little Link headcannons

hii again I'm very bored rn sooo

again for Zelda, it's only the major ones, sorry obscure link fans

also wtf is this gif I found 😭😭

Skyward Sword

✯has the biggest crush on his Zelda bc they're so close

✯like it's VERY obvious how they feel about eachother

✯His fav flavour of ice cream is Oreo ice cream but he also loves toffee and vanilla too

✯He can talk but he prefers sign language (dialect of sign language may vary on preference ((like ASL or BSL or LSE, ect)) ) and talks to save time in an emergency in case the other person may not know sign, but DOES sign if they do

For this one, I thought about the cutscenes where he's explaining something (like the current location or condition of Zelda) to another character and we can see his mouth moving.

✯no because if video games existed in skyloft, i just know that he's playing stardew valley and papas freezeria. I can feel it in my BONES

✯Definitely woke up under his bed once and hit his head on the bedframe

✯him and Groose have insult battles but then they get ice cream together after

Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask

✯somebody get this poor boy a therapist and a hug PLEASE

Twilight Princess

✯it felt natural to him when he transformed using the Zora mask in mm, because both the models for adult link and Zora link are the same size

✯mute

✯i think he played the ocarina like a recorder (aka with no experience at all) and did each note individually and the magic of the ocarina of time was probably like "there is NO WAY that I'm letting this kid tarnish my reputation goddamit" and made the songs sound nicer after he had played all the notes

✯forgot once that he was a kid again and walked to Romani ranch to get some chateau Romani and was genuinely surprised when Cremia said no

✯Had more of a genuine connection to Midna, but still had a friendship with princess Zelda

Wind Waker

✯felt a strange familial connection to the hero of shades when he met him and made link want to find out who the hero of shades was

✯does NOT like how short he is when he transforms into a wolf

✯Best poker face in history

Breath of the Wild

✯Gives Aryll piggybacks when she wants

✯would gladly eat his grandma's soup for the rest of his life

✯His grandma gave him the recipe to her soup when he left to discover the new Hyrule

✯Has the most major and unhidable (that's not a word but who cares) side eye in the history of time

✯If the events of WW didn't happen, I think he would have grown up to be a cartographer or he would REALLY like making his own maps

✯sorry to get all angsty but I don't think he wanted to kill Ganondorf. I just don't. I don't think either of them wanted to kill eachother. I feel like Link feels guilty about it because it's so obvious that it was only self defense after the triforce was touched by king Daphnes and it literally drove Ganondorf insane

Tbh I'd go crazy too if something I had wanted so badly got taken by another person even tho I literally got SEALED IN ANOTHER FUCKING REALM FOR A LONG AMOUNT OF TIME for it

Again sorry for no totk for this one pls no spoilers

✯Gets ambushed by Yiga so many times that he knows their names

*Yiga poofs into existence* "IM HERE TO KILL YOU LINK, IN REVENGE FOR MASTER KOHGA!!!!"

"oh hi jerry, nice weather eh?" -link

✯After he saved princess Zelda, he took a nap that lasted 4 ENTIRE days

✯not even the sound of kass' accordion could wake his ass up

✯very obvious but if he wasn't a knight, he would be a chef. Not sous chef. He would be head chef.

✯His hands are probably rough as hell from all that Hero Of Hyrule™-ing he has done

✯despite being able to lift heavy objects, his arms are still noodles

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, round 0.5

Propaganda:

For Kassandra:

She’s a mercenary, so she literally makes her living by using her sword (+ various other weapons). Also, for gayness propaganda: there’s a quest in the game where a man tells Kassandra, “help!! My wife is TOO HORNY. I can’t keep up!” And Kass is like, “no problem bro I got this 👍” And she fucks the wife literally all night. There’s a timelapse and everything! Perhaps it broke my brain a little bit. Here’s the video as proof (link)

For Xena:

It is HER! The OG woman with a blade! 

Her show was so iconic that any lesbian over the age of 30 knows her IMMEDIATELY because this show probably helped her have her awakening. Fandom foremothers and fathers rise up and get your gal a title.

An all around badass, bisexual woman, comfortable with many different bladed weapons. Her show was so much better than Hercules people forget his exists.

Xena is one of the OGs: once a baddie who turned good, she's a warrior who uses swords, daggers, and her trusty chakram to defeat evil and defend the innocent, while traveling with her kickass girlfriend Gabrielle. 

She has many skills

[defira85]

WIP Whenever

I also got tagged for a writing snippet by @adorablebanite and since I posted Rhyme the other day, I felt it was only right to post Kass and Gortash this time (although Kass is technically not featured in the scene right now). It's time for Gortash to be creepy and intimidating with other mobsters:

"The word you are looking for, my dear Everard, is vivisection," Gortash said conversationally. The assembled mercenary lords and gang leaders shuffled about uncomfortably, none of them sure precisely where it was appropriate to rest their gaze; the repurposed hall seemed to echo their hesitant footsteps back to them, and more than one of them glanced back over their shoulder as if convinced the sound was the scuttling warning of a killer racing up behind them. But the hall was well-lit, almost clinically so, and there were no secret corners for half-skinned monsters to lunge at them from. Everard swallowed uncomfortably, eyes flitting to the frozen corpse for a moment before he grimaced. "It's fucked up, is what it is, Gortash," he said gruffly. "I beg your pardon?" Gortash strolled forward, his cane clicking sharply on the tiled floor as he did; he hefted the cane and used it to gesture upwards. "This is nothing but a marvel of medical and necromantic ingenuity! Why, the advancements in medical treatments we can develop, if we were to analyse the mortal form in such careful detail-" "That's all well and good, Gortash, but why the fuck have you got 'em in some dingy hall?" The speaker was the leader of the Shadow Dogs, a rowdy young outfit trying to make a name for themselves in the crowded underworld of the Gate. "Give 'em to the fucking Physicians College or something, by Ilmater's crusty balls."

Gee I wonder who supplied Gortash with a whole hall full of carefully dissected corpses for him to fuck with the gang leaders of the Gate. Surely someone very normal

Uhhh who wants to play? @sleepytimegrrl @anarchyinplasma @darkfeanix who else is writing at the moment? Feel free to take this as a free tag!

[queenburd]

there's a hole where your heart lies (i can see it with my third eye) - 1

A/N: hello. hi. I have this teslaverse/Queenie fic that I've been working on for the better part of two years, possibly longer, and it's just been kind of stuck for a while. but I think about it often, and chapter 1 has been done for a solid minute. I've edited it and re-edited it and it's just. it's sitting here. I wanna show people. so I am posting chapter 1 for now. and if I get more done, then I get more done.

warnings for this fic as a whole...? there's a lot of child trauma, but to get into details would be massive spoilers and I'm going to keep them under wraps. for this chapter? well, there's rather dismissive language about horror victims, and there's an extended horror scene near the end. also, BUGS.

chapter 1

The world's in gray-scale.

The dirty white buildings are tightly clustered, in a courtyard that only barely meets the definition—it's a glorified parking lot, if anything. Dark gray concrete stretches out in all directions, cut through with lightning-bolt cracks that are unevenly colored in with rubbery black filler. A low fog hangs heavy above bare trees and benches with once-white paint that flakes off the dead wood.

There's no wind, but the stagnant air still manages to sting cold, sharp and biting. There's a deadly silence that rings, makes one uncomfortably aware of his own heartbeat and breathing. An abject misery hangs from the sky over the buildings like a thick, suffocating blanket.

In truth, the place seems more like a penitentiary than a children's school.

At the end of the empty lot, from a narrow gap between buildings, comes the grating gravely noise of an object being dragged across the concrete. It approaches steadily in the same way rain drums against the roof of a car; a consistent thrum of rolling, unending noise.

The child crosses the concrete at a steady pace; her wheeled backpack rolls through the silence in a deafening grind that thunders loud like a heartbeat, louder and louder and louder still, until the moment it stops. The silence races back in to fill the gaps, faster than the mind can conceive, leaving a sensation like ears popping under the release of pressure.

The girl and her cargo have stopped. Her eyebrows are furrowed, mouth set in a perplexed frown that turns into an abject, angry scowl.

“You're not supposed to be here.”

Kass snaps upright from the mattress, lungs burning for air. His hand clutches frantically at his chest where his heart pounds away under his skin, viciously trying to escape him. Dib hovers at his elbow, eyes wide and flicking between him and his bed-mate. She's still, chest rising and falling slowly; her breath softly rattles on every exhale. The pads of Kass's fingers press to his aching sternum, massaging at the space to little avail as he tries to catch his breath. His mouth is dry and cottony; he takes the time to swallow and find it in him to speak.

“Fuck. Fuck.”

--

It's been four days since he pulled the van back up into the garage; four days since he gathered up her limp, light body from the cargo hold and carried it into the garage through the back doors. Four days since Dib paced back and forth, crushing a feather that's dangled off his wrist for the better part of two years in his fist, pleading, “I need help, I need help, come on, why isn't it working,” as Kass set her down onto his bed with a terrible gentleness, and set his body into autopilot so that he wouldn't retch.

Four days of fighting the urge to grab her by the shoulders and shake her awake, while Dib frantically went through his own dark websites trying to figure out what went wrong.

Four days. Four days ago they were sitting next to each other in the van.

--

The streetlights are cutting stark patterns through the dirty windows of the van as it grumbles down the eerily quiet city street. The yellow-orange beams aren't enough for Dib to see his notes for more than a couple seconds before they are gone, then there again, then gone. He grimaces where he sits in the cabin, just behind the driver's seat.

“Do we know anything about the survivors?”

“Survivor, singular. Not much more beyond what I sent you,” comes the terse reply from the driver's seat where Kass white-knuckles the steering wheel, eyes straight ahead. “The little delinquent's comatose, and he's not getting better. Even with the feeding tube, doctors are saying it's getting worse.”

“Some kind of vampire maybe?”

“Definitely parasitic, but nobody's caught anything creeping in and out the place.”

May looks out the window from her place in the passenger seat silently, her shoulders hunched and curled inwards. Dib shifts uncomfortably, catching how the streetlights cut her profile in the window. He watches Kass turn his head towards her, like he's trying to catch her in his peripheral, before something in his jaw tightens and he focuses on the road.

This isn't what Dib was expecting when Kass texted him the previous night, suggesting he assist with a paranormal hunt. When they'd discussed it, there had been no mention of... this, this weird, palpable tension that's settled over the two people in the front seats. He doesn't really know what to do with the suspicion he's likely been invited along to break some of that tension.

He pushes through valiantly. “What about the other kids? I know their condition was, uh, pretty bad, but couldn't get much detail off the news articles.”

“Husks,” Kass says, his tone clipped. “Dried up like they'd been there decades. No bites, no scratches, basically mummies without the wrapping paper.”

“But the articles said they'd been missing--”

“Four days, I know, Einstein. You do realize I read the articles before I sent them to you, right? Why do you think the nasty particulars were kept out of them? The press would have a field day if they knew how the kids looked. It's why all their parents opted for torching. Can't imagine any of them would be interested in open-casket.”

It's crass, which isn't new. Beside Kass, May's fingers curl a little tighter into her sleeves. The van jostles as it pulls off the street into the empty parking lot in front of the deteriorated storefront. It comes to a rough stop that leaves Dib gripping the shoulder of the driver's seat, before the engine dies.

“Right,” Kass says. “Come on.”

They exit the vehicle in relative silence. As he climbs out the back, Dib examines May's face closely. Her eyes won't meet his, a fact he's becoming more and more alarmed by, but before he can try to reach out to her, she's trailing away from the van towards the boarded up storefront without a word. Huffing, he slams the door to the cabin shut and runs to catch up with Kass, who is two steps behind May, hands shoved into his coat pockets.

“I thought you said this place was closed up. It looks in bad shape. Why are the lights on?”

“Whole block is paid for by the city. Since the other storefronts are open, they don't bother trying to get this one shut down. Plus,” Kass says with a grimace, “wiring's at least two decades old. It's all knotted up with the other stores, so taking it out would mean rewiring the whole bloody building. Costs less to just let the bulbs burn out.”

True enough, past the dirty and broken panes at the top of the store windows, the lights inside flicker with irregularity. When they step onto the pavement, Dib can't help how his eyes are drawn to the bright yellow police tape that flutters slightly in the night breeze, stretched in front of the locked sliding doors. “You sure we're not going to have to worry about authorities?” he asks suddenly, uncertain. “Isn't this an active crime scene?”

Ahead of them, May has shifted without looking back and flown up to one of the broken windows to creep in. Kass's gaze follows her, his mouth a firm thin line. “Not anymore. Police can't find evidence of foul play, since they've gotten fuckall from the scene they're trying to retrace the victims' steps. Hell, they can't even pinpoint what day they died because of the condition of the bodies, so they're looking into other avenues.”

“But,” Dib starts, gritting his teeth when the front doors slide open slowly with a grinding noise, the padding bristles rotted and the mechanism complaining from lack of oil. May pushes them to fully widen with a grimace, and tears at the police tape with hardly a thought. “But,” he starts again, “you guys are pretty sure it's supernatural.”

“Like you said. Vampiric tendencies.” Kass steps into the store past May, and pauses there. Dib narrows his eyes, squints at the way Kass's arm lifts, as if to set a hand on one of her shoulders—before it moves up instead to scratch at the back of his head. “Hurry up now.”

Dib huffs again and follows, falling in step with May, who had stayed in the door frame. “Hey,” he says, nudging her shoulder with his to try to catch her eyes. “Thanks for getting the door.”

May finally meets his gaze, offering a crooked little half-smile that slips away far too quickly for his liking. Her brows are creased upward, and in the flickering LED lights he can't help seeing the deep dark shadows under her eyes. “S'what I'm here for.”

“Pfft, no, there's plenty of other ways we could've gotten in, you're here for way more important reasons.” Dib grins. “Somebody's gotta have some sense here. You are the one with the brain cell in the party.”

That prompts a quiet huff of laughter. “Truly, we are doomed.”

“When you two are finished playing out your sitcom,” the short tone snaps from ahead, “come look at this.”

Rolling his eyes, Dib focuses forward again, where Kass has stopped just past the customer service counter near the store entrance. He finds him looking down the expanse of the building with a grimace, and follows Kass's gaze.

“Jeez. This place is worse than the garage was when you were living in it.”

The store may have closed several years ago, but it still hosts plenty of racks and rows and shelves, numerous nooks and crannies covered in dust, grime, cobwebs, and who knows what else. It's big, too, and it only feels bigger from the broken mirrors that line the ends of the clothing racks and hover in every dark corner of the building. It's impossible to see the entirety of the store from the front, the view blocked by the shelving and the supporting pillars, save for the two main walkways down the length of it. Overhead, bugs drift lazily around the inconsistent lights.

“I thought it would be... emptier,” May says from Dib's other side. “I mean, I know the whole chain closed, so they'd have to try to sell the stands and so on, but... I guess they didn't manage.”

Kass taps his index finger against his thigh in irritation. “Bollocks. Right, strategy is going to have to change considering the mess we'll have to sort through. We'll have to be methodical about this.” He turns suddenly, his annoyed squint aimed at May. “You used to work retail. Any suggestions?”

She seems taken aback that he's looking to her, so she stumbles through her words for a few seconds. “Oh, I—um, when—When I worked retail they had us in sections for our shifts. You'd sort of weave through the aisles and shelves in that section to make sure everything was in place. And, you know, to keep an eye out for security devices.” May brings her hand up to her mouth, curling a light fist to press against her lower lip while she thinks. “Oh, and, when going to and coming back from breaks, we'd have to loop the perimeter and go through the aisles there in the same way.”

He nods, clearly thinking while he paces forward a few steps. “So starting at the corner and weaving through to make sure nothing's overlooked. I'll take the front left side and head towards the back. Astro-boy, head to the back right side and move towards the front. Duckie, take the middle racks.”

Dib frowns crookedly. He can see the logic in Kass's strategy, but it's definitely not the safest approach. Beside him, May seems to have similar thoughts.

“I don't know if it's such a good idea to split up, Kass,” she starts, before stepping back as Kass turns to stride towards her.

“What do you suggest, then? If you've any opinions on the subject, please feel free to share with the rest of us.”

Dib's missing something, if the way Kass's words make May's shoulders go right up to her ears is anything to go by. He watches uncomfortably as she visibly steels herself, words tripping through a false start. “I'm not—I'm just saying it's a lot more dangerous that way.”

Kass's voice becomes poisonous saccharine. “How about I go start in the corner, and you come back to me when you decide what you want to do instead, if what I want is clearly so unrealistic.” The humor drops and leaves chilly anger in its wake. “You make up your mind and tell me what you want. If you ever feel like bringing it up.”

“That's not—” she starts, but he has already stepped past her without giving her another glance. Dib watches her forcefully swallow, hands curled into little fists that she presses under her arms, shoulder curling inward. “That's not fair,” she finishes quietly, to nobody in particular.

There's a creeping awkward silence, where neither she nor Dib move. Then, with a small huff, May presses her fist to her mouth again and begins walking with purpose. “C'mon,” she says quietly. “We'll weave the right side together, see about getting things done more efficiently.”

Dib trails after her down the right main walkway towards the back of the store, heels of his boots feeling loud on the filthy concrete tile and broken glass. “Hey,” he says, mostly to her back, “May, slow down, c'mon.”

“What, Dib?” The question is short, terse, but she obliges, lets him alongside her. From here he can see her eyes are still on the floor, her arms still tight bands against her chest. They pass mirror after mirror, and May's profile is distorted in the cracked reflection. It makes him uneasy, how many mirrors there are.

“Are you okay? No, wait, that's a dumb question,” he admonishes himself quickly. “You're not okay, I can see that. But—what's going on between you and Kass? I mean I know it's not my business, we've been over that a million times, but I'm really... you look...”

“Like shit,” she finishes in a deadpan voice. “Yeah, I know.”

“I mean I wasn't gonna say that.”

“Yeah, but we both know it's accurate.” May gives a hard sniffle, gritting her teeth like she's angry with herself. “It's—We're. We had a... disagreement. He's angry. He's...”

Dib scowls. “He shouldn't be taking it out on you, whatever the hell it is he did.”

“He didn't—Dib, you can't always...” They reach the back of the main building, and May stops and turns to face him, pinching the space between her brows hard enough to dent the skin with her nails. “He's frustrated, and it's my fault. He's allowed to feel frustrated with me.”

“That doesn't change the fact he's being needlessly mean.”

“Can we please not talk about this anymore?” There's a desperation in her voice, and a threat of her voice cracking. She looks up to the ceiling, where the lights capture the passing silhouettes of winged insects, moths and gnats alike. Her eyes shine as she clearly and valiantly attempts to not cry in front of him. “Can we just do this and, and I'll sort it out myself? Please?”

Dib audibly lets the air out of his nose. “I'll stop bugging you. Here,” he says suddenly, “you take the right side starting from the back. I'll take the left side from the back, and meet up with Kass halfway. We'll start on the middle.”

May's eyes flick from the ceiling to him, the corners lined with resignation. She looks so deeply tired, and below the flickering light the bags under her eyes look stark, the sockets sunken and shadowed.

“You know that I know you just want to pick a fight with him, right.”

“I'm not gonna pick a fight!” he says, unconvincingly defensive.

She sighs and squeezes her eyes shut, clearly frustrated but too worn to pursue the subject. “Fine. Go on. Don't hound him though. I'll meet up with you in a bit.” She doesn't look at him when she turns the corner and walks away from him, her silhouette terribly small besides the tall stands before it disappears from view entirely.

Dib takes a deep breath, and then he goes to the corner. He turns, and he doesn't weave, but beelines for where Kass is about a third of the way through the aisles, crouched by an endcap that faces the wall.

“Thought I told you to go to the other side, Encyclopedia Brown,” the man states without looking up from where he's examining something on a low shelf.

“May's started there. I need to talk to you.”

“No, you don't,” Kass retorts. “You need to turn back round and trot off like a good loyal chihuahua and take your nose right out of my business where it doesn't belong. I know you have eyes, Dib, but according to everyone in your little yes-man group, you also have a brain, so do us the honor of using it for once, and keep your trap shut.”

“Okay but you realize you just brought it up yourself before I could even say anything.”

“I'm well aware we're about the furthest thing from subtle, Columbo, even someone as emotionally constipated as you would pick up on it.”

“Could you stop being an asshole for five minutes?” Dib says utterly exasperated. “I know you don't care about what I think, and I know it's not my business, but May's in bad shape and you have something to do with it. Big shocker, I know, but I have a problem with that!”

Kass finally looks away from the shelf to put his elbow on his knee and press his forehead to his fist with a grimace. “I know, chrissake. I know, Dib.”

His tone is startlingly pained, even fraying with a waver laced through his words. Dib hasn't heard anything akin to it in his life—well, no. That isn't true. It's remarkably reminiscent to an apology offered in a deserted mall to a younger Dib. The stark surprise is enough to render him silent.

Kass continues without acknowledging whatever might be on his face. The man looks almost agonized, teeth grit and brows drawn tightly together.

“You think I want this? D'you think I find it fun? That I enjoy being an absolute arse-shit to the one person who I—who actively enjoys my presence? I don't, believe it or not, I actually truly don't.” He stands, turns sharply to face Dib, expression hardened. “But this isn't on me, this whole clusterfuck. I can't fix it. It's broken but, if you can even comprehend it, I'm not the person who cocked it up and has to try to patch it.”

Dib swallows, body tensing when Kass approaches and bullies his way into his personal bubble. They're about matching in height these days, so Kass can't loom over him like he used to, but the man's whole posture is still actively aggressive, on the offensive--

No. That doesn't seem right.

There's this thing that some species in nature do to protect themselves—it's called deimatic behavior. The phrase is used to refer to animals that do things when under threat, like make themselves look bigger, or show off bright toxic colors, in the attempt to scare off the thing hunting them. Frill-necked lizards fan out the frills on either side of their faces and open their mouths wide while standing on their hind legs, to look as large and imposing as possible. Some species of snakes flatten the skin around their heads to look more like a cobra. It's a bluff tactic, only really a type of defense mechanism.

What Kass is doing is not much different, Dib thinks. He looks posed to strike, but he's only resorted to this after an intense negative reaction because of what Dib said. He's trying to look large because he's trying to protect himself.

Dib has seen Kass in a bad way before, but hindsight is 20-20 and he lacked the context at the time to recognize a large amount of the cruelty was means of lashing out to keep himself safe. It doesn't help that, as a baseline, Kass is sullen, unpleasant, sarcastic and all around nasty around most people.

But, when Dib was younger, Kass didn't need to posture as much, not until he was on the back foot. He only doubled down when he felt actively in danger.

So this...

Kass seems to realize his reaction in the same moment, because he steps back and pinches the brow of his nose, letting out a breath.

“I know she's not okay. I know I'm not helping. I get that you have it in your head that you can just thwack me over the head to the point of concussion until I apologize or some other children's show nonsense, but this is not something either of us can fix. We can't just put a plaster over it like a baby boo-boo. Do you realize how aggravating that is, to see something so fucked but not have any power over the situation?”

Dib swallows. He bites the inside of his cheek.

“She said you were frustrated with her. I thought she was just—trying to justify you being a shithead.”

Kass doesn't say anything to that, rubbing his hand against the side of his face.

“Did she... do something?”

“She didn't do anything,” he finally mutters. “She never--”

He's cut short by a noise Dib doesn't think he'll ever be able to forget. May is screaming.

They're both moving before his brain even fully processes the sound; experience has ingrained instinct. Kass bolts ahead of him through the aisle, and they both see the stark, blazing light that reflects off the mirrors and leaves spots in Dib's retinas. It pulses and shines like a star, there by the right walkway where the aisles turn into racks.

They're still a few yards from it, their boots thudding and squeaking loudly on the dusty floors, when the screaming cuts out. Kass lurches forward, gun drawn and arm yanking at the wheeled rack, pushing himself forward. Those last few feet, Dib pushes himself desperately for a last burst of speed, so he's unprepared to run face-first into Kass's shoulder where he's stopped suddenly.

Before them, May screams around a massive bony hand that wraps around her face to hold her entire skull against the floor. The sound is muffled by the noise of swarming insects—moths of every size, in the air, on the floor, crawling out of the thing that has pinned May to the ground while her heels skid and squeak against the tiles in a futile bid for traction. They're in May's hair, on her clothes. They flutter through the exposed ribcage made of rotting wood--

The monster is a massive, skeletal thing. Wide empty sockets stare at its captured meal, out of a shattered skull where the winged insects crawl and alight on the branches of a dead tree. It's part bone, part wood, part flayed skin and exposed muscle, all pressed down on May's chest, its thin limbs caging her small body.

Kass shoots it straight in the skull, expanding the shattered hole into the eye sockets. The only reaction it provides is a tip of its head, bits of matted thin hair swaying as it tilts its face towards them.

The noise of the swarm rises, moths flying in thick clusters as Kass shoots again at a target Dib can now barely see. “Stop, stop, you'll hit May!” Dib shouts over the noise—but before the sentence is even fully out of his mouth the noise dies entirely.

The moths are gone. The creature is gone. The only sounds now is their panting, and the horrible wheeze that rattles out of May's throat as she convulses on the floor for only a moment more, before going entirely, deathly still.

Dib pushes forward past Kass, who still holds his gun as he scans the store rapidly. Dropping to his knees on the floor, Dib presses his hand to May's shoulder, then her face.

“May! May, wake up!”

By all accounts, she seems physically unharmed. She's still breathing, though it still sounds somewhat strained. But despite his shaking her shoulder, despite his hands pressing to her throat and her cheek, her eyes stay closed. She doesn't rouse. She doesn't move.

And there's something else.

“Kass, she's not waking up! She's not—I thought she was invulnerable!”

He glances over his shoulder where Kass has approached, and finds the man has gone still at the sight of them. The color has left his face entirely. He doesn't answer Dib, which is probably the most frightening thing.

“Isn't she?!”

Kass drops beside him. He touches May's hand, her cheek, and confirms what Dib has already discovered. Her skin is almost cold to the touch.

May is never cold. She's a goddess of light and life, a literal firebird, always barely warmer than the rest of them. Now, her cheek is cooler than even his own fingers.

“How was I supposed to know,” he breathes out. “I wouldn't—if I'd known this was necrotic based, I'd never have been so stupid as to have brought her.”

He looks up at Dib. The lights above are stark and harsh, which only adds to the ghastly pale shade of his face, drawn up in unfamiliar terror.

“How the fuck was I supposed to know?!”

end chapter 1.

[atrueneutral]

15 Lines Tag

RULES: share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture their character/personality/vibe. Bonus points for just using dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well.

Thanks, @pricemarshfield for the tag! <3 I bet everyone is unsurprised that we're doing this with Tav from HWBASK. It was interesting perusing the story because her actions tend to speak louder than her words lol.

Tagging: @theemptyislost, @sassyandsodone, @sky-kiss and anyone else! Ignore this if you've done this already or don't want to!

Lines behind the cut!

“It was unintentional, I assure you.”

“I, admittedly, got a little overzealous and made a bit of a game out of it.”

“Today didn’t go how I imagined it would.”

“Make it ten, and I’ll get you to like me more in the back room.”

“Say ‘please’.”

“Ass.”

“Are you also leashed by a master, ordered to keep me out of where I wish to go, or shall we talk business?”

“Tell Raphael if he ever tries to dance with me, I’ll break his toes.”

“I’m being secretive, and I know how frustrating that is, but I can’t tell you what’s going on and, frankly, I don’t want to. You’ll hate me, and I don’t want you to hate me…”

“I didn’t intend on you being here, and I’m sorry that you are, but I’m glad to see you, Kass. I’ve missed you.”

“No. You’re going to stay here and stay out of my way. You shouldn’t even be here…”

“This is unhealthy, whatever this is, and, honestly, it’s unwise of me to have come - you’re a devil.”

 “But command me to eat, Archdevil Supreme, and I shall engorge myself, if only so that I might have the honor of retching all over your House of Hope.”

“It’ll be free. Right, Mol? For my troubles.”

“I fucking will. It will be easy - after all, you’re only a cambion.”

“Before I go do what must be done, there’s another debt that must be paid."

Okay. This is technically 16, but I stared at this for ten minutes hemming and hawing so pretend it's 15.

[macaroonkitti]

No because there is so much missed potential with not having a totk DLC. I want to explore a new Hyrule as much as anyone but there are still so many questions about this one.

What happened to the rest of the Zonai? Did they leave and Mineru and Rauru just decided to stay? How far back did Zelda go? Because I don't believe it's like post-Skyward Sword (I would if it wasn't for the fact the Rito are there it's the only thing throwing me off oh my godddd) and it couldn't have been 10,000 years since 10,000 years ago was the first Calamity, and this whole thing with the Imprisoning War was a different event (although it would be super fucking interesting if totk Ganondorf was the last Gerudo male born before the first Calamity and was also the source for Calamity Ganon. The history of Hyrule's royal family is also the history of Calamity Ganon and all that).

Speaking of the Imprisoning War and Ganondorf, what about Twinrova?? Those two Gerudo in golden masks in the 4th and 5th memories have Koume and Kotake written on their shoulders, we could've done something with that?? And speaking of the first Calamity seriously could there be more of an explanation on the Ancient Hero's Aspect?? Please?? What is up with him??? They just dropped that and left???

And also there's still stuff going on with the current Hyrule. Where did all the Sheikah tech go? I can understand dismantling the Divine Beasts and guardians and the shrines and towers could have gone back underground but what about all the ancient gear and stuff?? Where'd that go?? Can it at least be mentioned??

Plus there's stuff with Penn, his story feels kind of unresolved. He left to Washa's Bluff but then just. Didn't do anything. No new story, he just kinda was There. And speaking of him and Washa's Bluff, where's Kass???? He's mentioned at least once by Genli but nothing about where he is. Maybe he's getting new songs but it would've been nice to know where he is. Plus he could've come back with some new songs about new stuff (especially since the Zonai language in the shrines kind of sounds like singing)

I'd also just kinda like more stuff on the sky islands or the depths. I don't go there much because I don't see as much of a reason to, I would have liked the sky to at least be more developed :(

I dunno I'm just spitballing stuff while I'm replaying the game because man. I'd like a dlc a lot. I'm excited for a new Zelda game whenever it comes around but there's still some stuff I wanna see with this one that I don't have to come up with myself.

[ezlo-x]

hi...cmere if you want to hear my current thoughts of totk... (spoilers ahead ofc)

Hi :] so since everyone is taking a different path on playing this game this is what I have so far

Currently I have completed the tutorial section, have only Dragon Tears #1 and #2, and completed the Wind Temple

I wanted to write down my thoughts after I finished w the tutorial section but I was just so excited to play I just kept going until I finally decided to take a small break from playing the game for almost the entire day lol. ALSO I will include pics...in some parts

ANYWAYZ THE BEGINNING SECTION I NEED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST CAUSE I WAS LOSING MY MIND ABT IT. So when Zelda explains how the "gloom" works I WAS JSUT "...that sounds like the Malice im my au HMMM NO WAY I PREDICTED THIS MY BRAIN HUGE" JNSDKJFNSD I liked that we get to see a little bit more of Zelda before she disappears but also! I liked how she is still prevalent in the story and aids Link at some point in the tutorial section. Also I just find it funny how she appears to people like ghosts knfgskng I know for sure that would be explained why later on.

Now to the tutorial, I had a lot of fun with the shrines better yet all the shrines in general have been super fun. None of them have been a drag to me I have a lot of fun especially that you have to use your arm abilities and that stuff never gets old to me. TBH THO there were a few moments when traveling around the island where my muscle memory is to press "x" to paraglide when I suddenly remembered I don't have the paraglider JFNGKDNF I was yearning for that paraglider.

Sorta of a side note I am really loving how npcs have more personality, like Purah and Robbie just radiate so much more as characters than in BotW. I am loving so far the new npcs it makes the world feel less empty.

Now...to the moment i've been waiting to talk abt. The Dragon tear memories

I love them. I love them SO SO MUCH ESPECIALLY SONIA BUT I FEEL LIKE I LOVE RAURU JUST AS MUCH IDK THEY ARE VERY FUCKING CUTE I CANTTTTT I WANT TO CHANGE MY BANNER TO THEM BUT I KNOW ITS LIKE SUPER SPOILERY OUGHHHHHH

My friends insisted to get the memories in order cause that would make me into an emotional wreck so I can't wait! <3

Now to Rito Village/Wind Temple. First of all, the Rito Theme when its in the blizzard got me a little emotional ngl. It might be cause Wind Waker was one for the first tloz games that i introduced myself to back when I was 14 and hearing it so desolate it almost got me. AND THEN SEEING THE KIDS ALL ON THEIR OWN OUGH (I want to know where's Kass tho...).

TULIN!!! Tulin is adorable idk I enjoyed his character how his stubbornness on doing things on his own was changed to teamwork makes the dream work arc idk it was cute. Teba not being present makes sense to me as he's the new Rito Elder and all. Glad the dude is not dead KJFNGKDJNF

Now the journey to the Wind Temple was so fun it was so fun like idk how to describe it. The ost was amazing especially when finally reaching the temple when you ascend high above the blizzard storm and then you glide down and UGH it was so amazing. The Wind Temple was just as fun it felt like your good old Zelda temple and I love that so much. THE BOSS AS WELL YOUR TYPICAL EVIL CRUSTACEAN WITH WINGS AND UGH!! I Love it I love it sm

NOW AT THE BEGINNING ENTERING THE WIND TEMPLE when the voice appeared, at first I thought it was Rauru. But then I took a second take and he sounded differently than Rauru and I said "oh is this the ancient champion?" AND I WAS RIGHT ITS THE WIND SAGE AND OH OH OH OK

I WAS SO....💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN//? HE LOOKS RAD THE OTHER SAGES LOOK JIST AS AMAZING. AND THEN-

THIS BITCH GOT HORNS!!!! WHAT 💥💥💥💥

HONESTLY ok time to put my critical hat here. Im honestly not expecting anything crazy with Ganondorf like idk I am excited but at the same time I do have that worry in the back of my mind that he would be your typical evil villain. ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY HAVE SUCH A SOLID STORY WITH GOOD WORLD BUILD like I hope they don't blow it up. and ngl I kinda forgot abt Ganondor for a moment cause I've been so fixated over Sonia and Rauru KJNGDJKFNGKDFJ I CANT WAIT TO MEET THE FIRE SAGE THOUGH RAAHGHHGGHH AND THE ZONAI NEXT TO RAURU OUGH I FORGOT HER NAME BUT RAURU MENTIONS HER IN THE SECOND DRAGON TEAR MEMORY THATS HIS BIG SIS!!!!

One more thing I forgot to mention (theres so much stuff don't get me started to how much I love the depth) the soundtrack is phenomenal. When diving down from either the sky or to the depth it so pretty. And like I said the ost where thats building up when reaching the Wind Temple *chef's kiss* AND how the Wind Temple's theme mixes both Vah Medoh's theme (attacking and inside) and Rito Village. Reminding you what you're fighting for especially in Tulin's case

I am having a lot of fun with this game I am currently just wandering around in the Hebra region. ALSO NOW THAT I REMEMBER I WAS REALLY THROWN OFF BY THE SUBTLE CHANGES THE MAP HAS I STILL AM AND I GET IT for like ppl who played BotW make it feel completely different/new. Honestly its fun it feels like im exploring Hyrule for the first time again its nice <3

and that is all I have tbh I might disappear and come back w more ramblings. I want to say more but I don't want this post to be super long. The fact that I only got one Temple complete and two memories and I still have a lot more to do is so crazy to me

anywayz have some pitcures of Sonia and Rauru cause I love em very mucho <3

[kintatsujo]

LoZ AU- The Courage of Running Away LABRYNNA EXPANDED (long post alert)

Let's start with a link to the original masterpost since this is plunked in the midst of Part Five of the OG plotting posts.

Labrynna was practically a footnote in the original CoRA plotting posts, it and Holodrum basically getting covered in one post.

But as I've noted since, it turned into its own storyline, and I got wrapped up in Politics, and fantasy politics are my fucking catnip so I have at this point gotten through two whole ass NaNos with it oh god.

Image descriptions will be in ALT this time around so theoretically the seventeen to twenty pictures in this post won't be quite so bad???

So where things pick up, Link has just left Windfish Isle on Uncle Torik's ferry with Marla and Tonbo and they're headed to Labrynna.

...I was going to post the map of Western Aurule here but that. I'm gonna put that in its own post. Here's a link to the map of Aurule proper as it currently stands.

And the first thing Link does, before they even get all the way to Labrynna, is piss off a pirate:

A lot of you are not going to look at the alt text so I'm going to say that he's based on a thorny devil and I did not mean for him to turn out so adorable. (But also I love lizards so maybe it was inevitable that my fondness would show through.)

Link was MOSTLY trying to get him to leave Crescent Island alone so he blows up the figurehead of Kragg's ship.

Which was of Kragg's wife.

Kragg is gonna show back up.

Link and Marla and Tonbo manage to escape to Jabu City, which is based on the fact that there's an OoT-style-Zora Village underwater off the coast in Oracle of Ages because this fic is nothing if not wild extrapolation.

Jabu City is a mixed-peoples city, with Zora, humans, Rito and some Gorons, but it's largely Zora.

Note on mister "Oh I'm in DANGER:" A running gag is that Marla is considered a very attractive Zora and Tonbo is having absolutely none of people hitting on her. Marla takes a lot of delight in this.

Have some more Jabu City fashion because I got carried away:

The trouble is, Jabu City is a beautiful place but the Zora there are generally kind of... hoity toidy high on themselves. There's a few crass comments made about Marla being from Windfish Isle, for example.

So Link, Marla and Tonbo don't spend especially long there and instead head north to the town of Brynna, where Link finds himself instead running into his mother's past-- stories of her adventures, but even more importantly into a traveling story collector who has a bit of a connection to Catena.

I want you all to know that hitting on the idea that the Graceful Gorons are called that because they're all Victorian era-style boxers was the single most inspired moment I've had in this AU setting's worldbuilding, my brain is enormous and I am sexy as hell XD

Anyways Allemande and Courante were Catena's friends for years, and then Catena died so Allemande started taking journeys around Aurule every few years so that he could collect stories about her and about adventurers like her. Think of him as being a bit like an earthier Kass without an accordion.

Allemande suggests that they go to Lynna City, Labrynna's capitol, partly because another one of Catena's old friends lives there now.

But on the way they run into Politics again (they've already run into these politics in Jabu but now it's even more in their face), because they have to cross the Kappakon River to get to Lynna City, and that means interacting with the Kappakon River Zora, who are quite a different deal from the coastal Zora:

What Enhir means when she says "what they're doing to us" is that the mayor of Symmetry City next to Dimitri Bridge is dumping garbage upstream of the nearest Domain, Nuun Domain, trying to get rid of them and mostly making their Patriarch and their tadpoles desperately ill. (I didn't include a sketch of the Nuun Domain Patriarch even though he does have a design because at the point I drew this I already knew this post was longer than most of the original posts for the AU, waagh)

Symmetry City is also where Link, Marla and Tonbo first meet Sturmaz, who essentially joins the party for pretty much the rest of the storyline because I love him and he's a good boy.

I made a post about Sturmaz before and it features a little more art that is absolutely him yelling at Symmetry City's mayor about this mess.

So it takes some yelling at the right people but eventually Link gets the Nuun Domain sorted out and they head to Lynna City to meet his mom's best friend, Githa, who actually lives here because she got banished from Hyrule for reasons that might be clear after the picture:

Notes on Githa: She was originally inspired by Agitha from TP as she appears in Hyrule Warriors with a bit of influence from Purah; for some reason when Invid and I were playing through HW Agitha being a secret criminal or mob boss turned into a running joke along with her NPC mode constantly clinging to giant bosses whenever it was absolutely inconvenient. That turned into Githa.

Also, she doesn't know Catena thought of her as her best friend, which is the real reason Link decides she's a disaster person.

The problem is, now they're in the Capitol and naturally there's more Politics there. For example, Sturmaz's uncle:

(Marla and Tonbo don't want to let Sturmaz or Link think that having shitty father figures is normal.)

And indeed, the stupid hat does come with the job, as Link discovers when he goes with Sturmaz and Nimbas to the Labrynna Senate:

So the idea behind Labrynna's government is that in CoRA's version of events, Labrynna abolished the monarchy after Queen Ambi because they weren't putting up with that shit again (the official line is that so much power is considered too much strain on one person.)

As is evidenced by the Presiding Lady still being a member of Ambi's bloodline and the senator of Brynna being her sister, however, nepotism is still alive and well in Labrynna.

Also Link gets a cute outfit so that he doesn't stand out so much in this crowd:

(It was an emergency situation I swear.)

To be clear this is a man's dress and Link's entire reaction to it is "I don't know how my father puts up with a floor length skirt." Fuck your gender roles.

Nimbas turns out to be more than a bit of a professional jerkass.

(By "river monsters," Nimbas means the Kappakon Zora. Just to be clear.)

Link also visits the Maku Tree, because you don't go to the capitol of either Labrynna or Holodrum and just not visit the Maku Tree.

I wanted the Maku Tree to have an equivalent to the Kokiri for a number of reasons but one of them is that over on the Ghirahim side of the story he's having a silent existential crisis about his backstory and I like narrative mirrors. *thumbs up*

Credit goes to Invid for the idea that the Koroks and Kokiri are actually just the same thing entirely and that the Kokiri put on the Korok masks in order to leave Korok Woods safely.

Also Kula is actually a canon Breath of the Wild character. I made a sound like I was greeting a cat when I found her in TotK. XD

Link finds out, among other things, that the Golden Kragg seems to still be pushing his way up the Kappakon despite that he has to fight every single river Zora on the way. It turns out that Kragg is upset about more than Link blowing up his ship's figurehead:

At some point several years before in Yoll Province, the local dragon went missing, the local lizalfos started acting up, and then the Labrynna Senate, partially spurred on by Senator Nimbas's arguments on behalf of Senator Aldo from Yollton, well, absolutely exterminated the Lizal presence in Yoll Province, and executed the lizalfos leader in Lynna City Square.

Leaving behind her husband, the Golden Kragg, and his lizalfos pirate crew.

So THAT'S not great.

Have a chonky dragon.

Obviously that means that Link has to investigate this shit.

Kragg is heading straight for Lynna City with full intent to carve a new statue of his wife out of the Maku Tree herself, and while the River King Izemaz, living in the Maku Domain, is absolutely going to step in if Kragg tries it, the main bridge Kragg would have to come through is a major marketplace in Lynna and Link can't stand idly by even if it means his destiny as a Called Hero is sort of chasing him around a little at this point.

Which means that Link and party take an express glider to Yoll because time is now of the essence (it is terrible that I didn't draw this. Imagine them sitting in one of those steampunk engine-less plane contraptions and getting launched from a catapult. Also Marla doing lots of screaming.)

Well, shit.

(Link can hear Gabbrosald's sickened godsong because of the pointed ears while Zora are just really sensitive to Things Being Wrong in the Environment. LORE.)

Anyways shit goes DOWN. They have to do a dungeon and everything. And finally, at the end of it, once they've freed the dragon in distress, Gabbrosald gives them a ride back up to Lynna City so they can stop the Golden Kragg from burning Maku Park and using the Maku Tree as carving base, because actually Lord Gabbrosald was rather fond of those lizalfos and would prefer that the Golden Kragg not get himself killed.

Now Link just needs to convince Senator Nimbas that killing the lizalfos that the furious local dragon god is fond of is maybe not the best idea.

[cosmicnewtrino]

There are some parts of tears of the kingdom that I look at and go "yeah that was probably in response to the fanbase" like the slip resist elixir but also the removal of the Gerudo Vai set and the straightening of Sidon. But then they go and do things that make me think they have no idea what's going on in the fanbase because WHERE THE FUCK IS KASS

[nolongerapileofashprobably]

First Impressions (will be adding as I play)

DOMESTIC ZELINK THEH ARE SO FUCKING CUTE (like PLS he is such a gentleman and is still a short king, we stan— and Zelda always worried about him 🥺)

Link lost an arm to protect Zelda. My guy sets a HIGH BAR

Once I fully understand zonai devices it’s over for you bitches

Rauru my main man gets a love interest. What a dude

NOOOO NOT THE WAY THE MASTER SWORD GOES TO ZELDY IN THE PAST IM SO AHSJKDJSBAHSJZ I MISS FI SO MUCH

yo Hyrule be lookin DIFFERENTT AND OMG EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR ZELDA AND LINK

Fucking SHOOT ME IT WOULD BE LESS PAINFUL THAN SEEING HOW MUCH EVERYONE CARES ABOUT THEM LIKE ????? GODDDDDD

DID A TREE JUST FUCKING ATTACK ME WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SHIT IS THIS those scrubs really upped themselves ig

TULIN MY CHILD IVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED THAT IS MY SON!!!!!! THATS MY BOY!!!!! lol I love that the game points you towards Rito first bc no matter what the game wanted me to do, I was going to Rito village first bc I wanted to see all my CHILDRENN

Where the FUCK is Kass.

Not me avoiding both the entire East portion of the map in preference of going to Gerudo to see Riju

YOOOOO GIBDOS????? Need the suns song

OH LIGHTNINGGGGGG interesting I am DIGGING THIS and we get to go into Gerudo without disguise???? BANGERRRRRRR

I want my HORSE 🥲 silence my trusty white stallion where art thou

I’ve made it to Hateno and I’m fucking sick of these Koroks, like get up you lazy tree spirit are you fucking KIDDING me

ZELDA’S HOUSE!!!!! IS!!! THE!!!! HATENO!!!! HOUSE!!!! THEY LIVED TOGETHER!!! We been knew but OH MY GOD ITS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS WITH ALL THESE IMPLICATIONS. HIS HAIR TIE. THENEW TUNIC. THE KIDS DRAWING OF ZELDA. I AM GOING FERAL THEY ARE SO GODDAMN DOMESTIC

Yo where the FUCK is Kass.

Okay okay I’m having a time with paragliding so I’m just going to do Rito Village’s thing so I can get Tulin’s power

Lmao they’re not gunna kill off the babies like they did with the last champions…. Right?

LOL OKAY OKAY COOL THEY WONT CRISIS AVERTED but MAN I’ve fucked myself bc it is nearly 5a and my sister is coming over at 8a 💀

my HORSEEEE I HAVE MY HORSE BACK yo that is TRULY the best thing I missed my horse so much

Okay now I’m going to do the tears of the dragon quest bc WOOOOOHWEEEEE I miss Zelda

This was a fucking mistake it is 3am and I have to be up in four hours for work and I’m SOBBING bc ZELDA HAS SACRIFICED SO FUCKING MUCH I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK NINTENDO

At least I have the sword 🥲

I’m loving everyone sending asks and talking to me about this game I love each of you SO MUCH… not as much as I love Tulin and Riju but still LOL

Yo I’m so fucking sad bc of Zelda rn I think I’m just gunna get a shit ton of shrines and explore the depths

THE DEPTHS ARE SO FUN AND COOL!!! I also think I found a temple in eldin ???? COOOOOOOOLLLLL !!!!!

What’s not cool? Yunobo being all macho macho man bruh when that is not the sensitive little Goron I know and love. Marbled rock roast? Sureeee Cuz that’s not suspicious.

Okay I’m going to avoid Zora’s domain and head to the great plateau…. Why the fuck is the Old Man’s Cabin inhabited by the Sheikah what the fuck is this

Okay so the Yiga are just camped out in Akkala too??? Bitches. Next thing you know Kohga is alive and in the depths LMAO

Now I’m going to Zora’s Domain bc it’s my last pit stop before I actually continue the story LOL… scratch that Imma head to Tarrey Town and see how the fam is doin! And !!! Hudson has a daughter!! Guess that answers my question as to how long it’s been between games lmao

I keep procrastinating Zora’s Domain OOOOFT but I’ll go there now for reals—Sidon is engaged??? Man was like “Omg bestie it’s been forevs btw this is my fiancé” like damn okay how long has it been since Link went to Zora’s domain

I’ve been searching for Kass and I’m having major doubt atp 🥲 I want my beloved songbird back

OKAY DUNGEON TIMEEEEE Imma do Yunobo and while I know it wants me to save Riju for last I simply cannot stay away for long so I’ll go there next!

Yo these temples are fire I got majorly concerned with the Wind Temple but it genuinely makes sense to have a more familiar groundwork for players to begin with that’s just different enough that you notice so it prepares you for the more complex classic Zelda dungeon twist the rest of them have

I’m annoyed all of their abilities require me like ‘asking’ their spirits rather than having a function button to summon it at will

Except for tulin bc he is my child and all is forgiven. And Riju bc she’s pretty and I love her

DID I FUCKING MANIFEST KOHGA BEING ALIVE AND IN THE DEPTHS?????? BITTTTCCCCHHHHHH I thought these people be straight up loyal but nah he ain’t dead, just chillin in the depths

Yo I thought I was at the end of the game but nope I find out that the Zelda I’ve been chasing is a puppet WOW who would have guessed 🙃

BUT THE WAY GANONDORF WAS LIKE “using her made it so easy to lure you into traps” like my man KNOWS

Okay okay fifth Sage down and now I’m going to the Hyrule castle chasm

Was no one going to tell me this might be difficult bc I’m just tryna sneak through but that ain’t happening LOL

I’m going to shower and eat dinner and THEN I’ll beat the game

Oh my god we back at the place we started I LOVE FULL CIRCLES

I’m going to fucking sob this has been such a good fight!!! Getting to use the master sword the entire time >>>>>

(Even though i legitimately used a lynel bow and bombs to deal most of my damage to Ganondorf… don’t judge me I am ✨strategic✨ and I only managed fo do real damage if I did arrows, arrows, dodge dodge dodge, flurry rush, backpedal it up)

ZELDA BEING MY HOMIE IN THIS DRAGON FIGHT WE LOVE TO SEE IT !!! She makes me so happy she went straight for Link to save him bc that’s simply instinct

🥹🥹🥹🥹IM SOBBING THIS IS SO FUCKINNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG THIS IS SO GOOD I LOVE HER AND I LOVE THAT WE GET TO DIVE AFTER HER AND ACTUALLY CATCH HER 🥹🥹🥹

Lifting her out of the water… Zelda waking up to the feeling of a warm loving embrace… telling Link “I’m home” and that she has “so much to tell” him… I’m going to need another box of tissues bc I be EMOTIONAL

Awe all the sages pledging themselves to Zelda

Link just being a silent supportive boyfriend bc homeslice can and will do everything to protect Zelda (and okay he already did a ceremony for this but let me have my shipper goggles on)

I’m just going to say it. This might be my favorite game. And I’m a diehard Majora’s Mask fan. Like that’s been my favorite for a WHILE. I miss the simplicity for some of the game mechanics but thoroughly enjoy the new creations we can make. I also understand zonai devices now so when Kass comes in the DLC it’s over for y’all

Anyway botw/totk zelink is canon and no one can change my mind

[ofcowardiceandkings]

peepee poopoo whining

i hate comparing my fave things, and its partly just down to the order they released, but the more i marinade in the sauce the more i wish TotK had some of the depth of story and history crafted into it as GG gave Horizon ?

i GET

.. that it took some serious polish to have its systems work and run well and i get that the past few havent been as story-driven or lore focussed buuutttt i do miss it a bit. its the main thing i find im pining for in newer zelda titles?

again im a heavy stan for both BotW and TotK i fucking love both of those games to death they ate my brain, but yknow ...

like i said, the fact that ive been waiting for these two games for what felt like an eternity while also talking about them constantly, and HFW released a year before probably spoiled me for story content lmfao

GG really spoiled us with their level of care in Zero Dawn & Forbidden West so its REALLY hard to make the comparison but i knoooowww the writing team are capable of something like that because fuck me Skyward Sword was a masterpiece fight me on that

just like, a little bit of elaboration or some expanded worldbuilding would have been nice

lead me a little on what happened to the Zonai? who do the giant statues in the depths represent? what is Ganondorf's actual motive? does he hear Demise in his dreams maybe??? are there anymore ancient Hyrulean ruins?? did ALL of the sheikah get cleared away or is there some still about? WHO was the Ancient Hero and why can we look like him ??! is he an ancient form of Zonai ??? (can i have more Sonia please?) ALSO WHERE THE FUCK IS KASS ...

yknow, like in a DLC :)

not that HFW is perfect either, it definitely isnt i have gripes and reservations, but the story-drive comparison is hard for me to escape and GG have done phenomenally well for following up on a sequel to their FIRST REAL NARRATIVE GAME (?!)

also the irony of both sets of games & their sequels being about post-apocalypse cultures existing in the shadow of extremely 'advanced' civilisations who have accidentally set up this new existential threat lmfao

anyway ill stop on this train of thought now but yeah

thoughts :V

[yandere-fics]

So! You think you have a chance of becoming Kass’ darling. You’re wrong, I’m Kassien’s truest soulmate. BUT, let’s for some reason assume you’re in a universe where I, Kassien’s truest soulmate, doesn’t exist. This will work as a guide for you to be Kassien’s second best darling, and I say second best because her first best wouldn’t need this guide, her first best is making this guide.

Step 1: Others. They do not fucking exist. The only person that is in your life and who matters is Kassien. Don’t even think of looking at another, don’t even think of someone else. Only Kassien matters, you are to be her good girl. Her little sweetling. Her Lovely, who she takes care of.

Step 2: Outside. You will not be going outside without Kassien. You will have no need to be outside without her. She is taking care of and providing for you. You don’t need to go out to work. Kassien may give you a treat by taking you out on a date, maybe for dinner, or a movie. Remember, she is the only one that matters during these outings, so don’t look at or think of others.

Step 3: Affection and Praise. You will be giving her daily and constant affection and praise. You should be kneeling at the door as you wait for her to return and when she finally returns, you are to give her kisses with tongue. You will be worshipping and praising everything she is, if you praise and worship her wings, don’t forget to stroke and kiss them all over. If you praise and worship her abs, you’re licking the sweat up as you do it. You should be almost constantly kissing, licking, biting, and groping her all over. She will very much enjoy this, and she is worth each and every bit of praise, worship and affection.

Step 4: Communication. You should communicate your desires, needs, weaknesses, and love to Kassien. Communicating with her allows her to more effectively take care of you, and also allows her to make you scream, whimper and have your needs met.

Step 5: Obedience. Kassien’s rules and desires are law. If she wants to grope you, you allow it. If Kassien says you’re not allowed to go outside without her, you wait for her to take you outside. Disobedience towards Kassien is wrong and incorrect. If you for some reason decide to disobey her, understand she can and will punish you for it, and it will be deserved.

Step 6: Red Wedding. Do not be afraid to talk about a wedding with her, she will more than enjoy such a thought, especially since you want to vow your entire existence to her, no matter the consequences. You can also very much amplify her love for the wedding idea by giving her a list of bullies, exes, and other people who have hurt you. You might be curious why you’d give her a list like this, simply put, their corpses are going to be her gift to you during the wedding. And you will be embracing her bloody form and showering her in your love for her.

Step 7: Bloody Murder. If she comes back home covered in blood or you catch her killing somebody, absolutely do not be afraid to throw yourself on her. She will absolutely be elated that you want to be with her even when she’s covered in blood after a slaughter. You can also double your love by fucking her over the corpses of her enemies.

Step 7: The Bedroom. You will not have much say here. Kassien gains pleasure from your pleasure, it’s how she gets off. Do not ever ask to give her oral or try to pleasure her. That is not your place. A good darling would let Kass fuck them stupid and not touch her in a way she doesn’t approve of. You should also be vocal, which if you’ve been communicating with Kassien about your weak spots, will be very easy as she touches every spot that makes you squirm, scream, moan and whine while begging for more.

Step 8: Emotions. Kassien is a lovely woman capable of emotions. If she is upset, you should find out why, you should find out how to improve her mood. There should be no limit to how far you’re willing to go to make her happy. You should also not be trying to upset her or sour her mood. You’re a terrible darling if you make her upset or unhappy.

Step 9: Ego. Absolutely play into how superior she is, she is obviously worthy of eventually becoming the demon lord. Hell, play into the fantasy of being a hero that arrives to stop Demon Lord Kassien. let her defeat and corrupt you, turning you into her most obedient lover, who loves only her. She deserves to have her ego stroked, never forget that.

And that is how you become Daddy Kassien’s 2nd best darling. Remember, you’ll never truly be the best because I made this guide. Because I’m her truest soulmate and know what she needs. Good luck alternative universe darling, hope your legs don’t get broken for your disobedience.

-Written by Daddy Kassien’s Truest Soulmate.

Very very important information here.