#also when i do the chapter-by-chapter analysis reread i do want to count how many times jc responds to wlj vs how many times wwx responds

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

Wang LingJiao used the chance to scramble out. She took out a cylinder of fire-light from her lapels and shook it a few times. A light shot out of the cylinder. Along with a sharp whistle, it rushed out of the wooden window and exploded in the sky outside. Then, she fumbled out a second one, a third one. Hair tangled, she mumbled, “Come… Come… Come here… Everyone, come here!” Through the pain, Wei WuXian pushed Jiang Cheng, “Stop her from sending any more signals!” Jiang Cheng let go of Wei WuXian and lunged in the direction of Wang LingJiao. Yet, at the same time, Wen ZhuLiu was closing in on Madam Yu. He looked as if he was about to knock her down. Jiang Cheng hurried, “Mom!” He immediately gave up on Wang LingJiao and threw himself over. Wen ZhuLiu didn’t even turn his head as he struck, “Not even close!” Jiang Cheng’s shoulder suffered the attack. Blood immediately burst from his mouth. Wang LingJiao had already let out all of the signal fire-lights. Sharp whistles and bright sparks filled the entire grey-blue sky. - Chapter 58, EXR

It's quite interesting how, in this moment, Jiang Cheng does exactly what he's always criticised Wei Wuxian of doing: endangering the Yunmeng Jiang sect by 'playing the hero'. That's not what either of them are doing, of course – it isn't a motivation for Jiang Cheng here, it's not a motivation for Wei Wuxian anytime else, and the motivations they have definitely make sense – but it's exactly the sort of behaviour Jiang Cheng would criticise Wei Wuxian for, with those exact words.

Yet, no character ever criticises him for this – Wei Wuxian doesn't, even when it was his (necessary) advice that was disregarded; Madam Yu doesn't, even when her sect suffered as a consequence. Even when it very likely played a role in Lotus Pier's downfall (at least in getting a lot of Wen sect cultivators to get there very fast), it's never brought up by any character ever again... whereas Wei Wuxian's action of saving Lan Wangji, Jin Zixuan and Mianmian in the Xuanwu cave constantly is, even when the Wen sect was pretty certainly going to attack Lotus Pier anyway*. That's not to say Jiang Cheng should be blamed for the fall of Lotus Pier, either – that's on the Wen sect, and regardless of both of their actions, the attack was probably going to be a success. And can we blame someone for making a panicked decision protect his mother? – but one's action is definitely more direct than the other, and it's not the one that's constantly blamed.

The aim, though, isn't to compare the actions so much as the attitudes of the people involved, and this is another little detail that shows the imbalance in Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng's dynamic. Again, Wei Wuxian doesn't say anything about this afterwards, and doesn't seem to blame him, even when it's his words that were disregarded, and when the Jiang sect and Lotus Pier were undoubtedly very important to him as well. Which is good! That's a good thing and definitely the healthier option for both of them! If the roles were flipped, and Wei Wuxian saved a(n admittedly non-Yu Ziyuan) person, disregarding Jiang Cheng's orders while leading to more danger falling on Lotus Pier? Jiang Cheng would never stop blaming him or bringing it up. Even after the many years that passed between then and Wei Wuxian's resurrection, he still blames Wei Wuxian for the fall of Lotus Pier due to his actions in the Xuanwu cave** – once again, a much less direct scenario.

--

*Very strategic location (trade hub etc), they attacked the Cloud Recesses already, Jiang Cheng's internal narration literally admits this:

In his heart, Jiang Cheng knew clearly that back in the cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter at Dusk-Creek Mountain, even if Wei WuXian hadn’t saved Lan WangJi, the Wen Sect would have found some reason to come over sooner or later. But he had always felt that, if the whole thing with Wei WuXian didn’t happen, maybe it wouldn’t have been so soon, maybe there would’ve been some way to turn things around - Chapter 59, EXR

Yet there was some time between the end of the Wen indoctrination and the Fall of Lotus Pier, and we never even saw attempts at security adjustments!

**As we see in the Ancestral Hall:

Jiang Cheng mocked, “Look how forgetful you are. What does unwelcome people mean? Then let me remind you. It was because you played the hero and saved Second Young Master Lan, who’s standing beside you right now, that the entire Lotus Pier and my parents went down with you." - Chapter 87, EXR

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapters #00-01

all | next

lets fucking do this

I'm annotating every chapter of trigun, both the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read). Literally just writing down everything I notice about details, version differences, translation notes, etc. and also being gay about the characters. happy pride month

I had other stuff to do today yesterday so I only got through a little bit but pace will pick up tomorrow today (1 volume/week is faster than i thought...)

Here are the beloved non-analysis sillies...

And there are just so many annotation images so I just put the rest under the cut <3 read my notes boy

[edit: why aren't the images not being side by side like i want them to i hate this. here's the url for my blog page with correct formatting] [edit 2: i guess it's only on desktop, not on mobile. so that's good]

First thing I noticed was the difference in the number of volumes, or the number of chapters in each volume. In my JP copy, volume 1 ends at Chapter #07: Rem, while Overhaul (and I assume every version after the first JP print) ends at #12: River of Life.

Anyways onto the actual images

21st of July - !! didn't notice [that the July incident actually happened in July] during 1st read b/c months are only numbers in Japanese 11 hours after destruction - July incident was 2am

For some reason I thought he was standing this whole time. unneccesary details georg

Estimated age: 24 - Official age for his appearance? dang he's young Appearance - "Place of origin/birth," not "what he looks like" The worst kind of outlaw, and an unrivalled killer. - Added in a later version? (not in my JP copy but the phrase is familiar)

This blank space originally had the Japanese translation for the board.

We see his serious expression already! I don't remember '98 doing so this early on so it's pretty notable to me...

Just thinking about how Vash counted each individual gunshot being fired during all that chaos... dear god.... During my first read/watch I thought it was just silly Rule of Cool protagonist moment but not really. This guy actually has Insane perception, either from being a plant or sheer practice. Or both.

Also immediately after all that, I really love the way the aftermath is shown here. The only things you can hear are the creaks of the light and the crying boy. It really brings out the tension in the atmosphere.

Finally, something other than unneccesary bits! If you look at the flooring under the toy gun, the perspective lines are pointing SW-NE. This corresponds to the flooring on Vash's right, whose right arm is also suspiciously out-of-frame... This is definitely the moment he took the toy gun. I can't express the amount of Holy Shit I felt when I realized this. The detail!!!!! man!!!!!!!!!

There's a little translation error here - it should be something like "Even if he were still alive, he wouldn't be able to move an inch!"

One of my favorite Vash moves with one of my favorite Tumblr heritage posts.

This is not really based on any drawn details, but I think this is the moment that Vash readies the toy gun, puts it in his pocket, and picks up the ketchup. Do Not trust this man when his arm is not visible. Also finger still in gun <3 doing his part blocking one bullet at a time

And here we have Vash's first COOL cool moment!!!!!! cue my homo screaming. goddddddddd im so mentally unwell about him. agh I also absolutely love when Nightow does that thing where he screen-tones a character's skin just because. It pops!! It's unique!! I love it!! I eat it up every time!!!

Here's where I realize that Vash's hair antennae are pointing straight up. I should be on the lookout for when he makes the transition to the M-shaped antennae we know and love.

Also, a little untranslatable joke from the Japanese version. In Japanese, this guy calls out at Vash like "And you, don't provoke him!" except it's written with the kanji for "Hunter" (狩人 karyūdo), with a ruby pronunciation note saying "you" (おまえも omaemo). These kanji/ruby mismatch jokes are never not funny and it's so sad that there's no way to keep them in without doing...this lol

The "I counted!" reveal never fails to get me. holy shit. I love the little boy's expression when he gets his gun back :) You helped!!! and you don't have to have the real deal to be cool as balls!!!

Just lumping this with the previous two because it's a tall image, but another small translation error. Rather than being about doing harm, he's talking about recieving it (～～はゴメンだ is a hard-to-catch phrasing/idiom; it's already been discussed with the translator on a different instance). It should be more like "[...But] nobody likes getting hurt, right?"

THE GIRLIES YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not including the dialogue because. y'know. At least they get (accidentally) Bonked by Millie :) get their asses

Here, the order suggestion is made by somebody off-screen, but in the first edition, it was made by the cook himself. (left image annotation says "the storekeeper(cook) is so nice!")

That's it for chapters #00-01! I'm going to keep having Category 5 Autism Events every day aren't I.

It's literally 1:20am as of finishing this post because my computer won't stop crashing. Posting this first thing in the morning tomorrow <3

Also, the Japanese copy of the annotations will be in the reblogs for anyone who wants to see them. The emotions are Rawer and they're phrased way less awkwardly... if you can read them lol

[anistarrose]

20 questions for fic writers, tagged by @holdmecloser-gandydancer (thanks reese!) tagging @fexalted @3hobbitsinatrenchcoat @novantinuum and anyone else who wants to!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

86, very soon to be 87!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

397,102. my god.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The majority (over half) of my total fics on AO3 are Gravity Falls, but my current passion right now is obviously TAZ Balance, which is a pretty close runner-up. TOH is a lot further behind, but I have at least one WIP I want to finish up early next year!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Some Sunny Day (Gravity Falls), Tulip's Return (Infinity Train), Stan and Ford Vs. The Future (GF), Fateful Detours (GF/IT crossover), Missteps and Miscommunication (GF).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Usually, and especially when they give me a chance to infodump about the writing process! I just don't necessarily respond quickly lol

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

In recent memory, it might be but the strange lights in the sky were shining (TAZ). I write more happy/bittersweet endings than sad ones, but that one... that one has one of my absolute favorite twists :)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

to eat from a poisoned plate (TAZ) is one that I almost didn't write a happy ending for, but I'm so glad that I did, because I go back and reread that one a lot, admittedly.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Usually no more than annoying but generic "please update" comments, but back in the Gravity Falls fandom, there was this one person that you've probably heard of/encountered if you wrote a lot about Bill Cipher back in the day.

They were a guest account user who'd get so mad if you killed off Bill, to the point of making threats (albeit exaggerated, not really realistic ones), and also one time they told me I should go read a particular MLP fic and take inspiration from it in my own. Which, no shade against MLP, but as someone who's never been in that fandom, that's literally the funniest entitled comment I've received in my life.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope, but I do occasionally write characters being horny. There's a huge difference between those things for me, and that probably has everything to do with where I lie on the ace spectrum lmao

10. Do you write crossovers?

A couple times, though I used to be way more into them than I am now. There was the aforementioned GF/Infinity Train one, and my gateway into writing TAZ fic was actually a very silly "what if the Pines family were the protags of TAZ Balance" fic.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, and fingers crossed it doesn't happen 🤞

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a few times! My buddy @yourbonesarenowmycoat translated several of my Gravity Falls fics into Spanish back in the day, for one thing!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

This should come as no surprise but it's Blupjeans forever and ever <3

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh, god. Probably the one that I wrote like 9 chapters (out of 10 planned ones) to cope with being chronically ill and to convince myself to go to therapy, and then abruptly stopped writing when it was almost done because I figured out how to manage my chronic illness and soon after, started going to therapy. On the one hand, it would be tragic for it to never see the light of day, but on the other hand, it kinda... served its purpose for me already?

16. What are your writing strengths?

Fic as character study! Sometimes I set out with the goal of elucidating a particular theme or character motivation, and sometimes it just happens along the way, but I am a genius with regards to character analysis and my brain is galaxy and I'm not afraid to share it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue is one thing for sure, I get a lot of compliments on it but it's also such a challenge for me. Possibly because I, personally, don't talk like a remotely normal human person irl. The other thing is brevity and killing my darlings — I literally can't count the number of times one of my fics exceeded the expected word count by orders of magnitude.

The aforementioned character study thing? Yeah, that's also a weakness, because a lot of my fics (even including some very, very long ones!) exist to explore themes I couldn't figure out how to word in a simple headcanon post. In fact, I'm probably gonna post a fic of that exact variety this weekend, lmao.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Definitely not fluent enough in any language to do it on any larger scale, unless I get serious about learning Spanish again.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Not on AO3, but in general, it was definitely Pokémon! I was writing time travel stories set in Sinnoh before Legends Arceus made it cool.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

As previously mentioned... probably "to eat from a poisoned plate". In the vaguest possible terms, learning to love cooking again in spite of some prior bad experiences has been a struggle for me, too, and I truly think that without having written that fic, I wouldn't be succeeding.

On a related note, I'm about to spend my afternoon making a blueberry pie.

[fountainpenguin]

4, 6?

[Current Ask game]

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

That's not even a question, ha ha. It's "Sunk Too Deep." This is a Total Drama Island story about the end of the paintball deer hunt episode where Cody is sent home after being mauled by a bear. He's heavily bandaged and in a wheelchair. You see him roll off the edge of the dock and fall in the water, and the episode just fades to black as he and his wheelchair sink.

We know he doesn't drown, but it's never explained how he got out of that situation, and there's also a weird continuity error with him being able to speak in the confessional but not during the elimination ceremony, which I solved by having Heather deliberately gag him in this 'fic so he can't turn the others against her.

One of my favorite parts of this story is that in Season 3, Cody accuses Heather of only talking to him "six times ever" so in all the pre-Season 3 fanfics I wrote, I always had to make sure not to break that canon. When I wrote this story, I was cackling because in my mind I was like, "This only counts as one."

Back when I was writing for Total Drama, I only posted my 'fics on dA because I didn't have an FFN account yet. "Sunk Too Deep" did really well on dA and I later posted it to FFN, where it's also done well over the years. There are so many touching reviews on it, from people who say it's beautiful to people who say it's a total roller coaster to some who say it broke their heart and they cried to people who say they've read it a hundred times :')

"Sunk Too Deep" was something I threw together on a long car drive and I didn't put a lot of thought into it, and I didn't intend it to be emotional, so it's always wild to me that this piece I consider a random one-off side drabble has consistently wrecked emotions and received high praise from readers, ha ha.

To this day I still don't understand what about this story is resonating with people because I personally consider the emotions either heavy-handed or a swing and a miss, but lots of people seem to love it and that makes me happy. I'm glad that younger me chose to post it even though I thought it was just a scrappy little thing.

Maybe I'll put it on AO3 so people can find it there too.

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

"River Teeth." I don't think I've read it since I put it up 5 years ago, but I've never been a huge fan of it. I remember the idea here is that Ernesto has a pet dog whom he adores and the point of this story was to show how Ernesto treats his dog vs. Hector.

I was invited to join a little "angst off" collection where you were limited to 4k words or under. Coco was a nice movie, but I didn't have true passion for creating content for it, and limiting to 4k was very difficult for me, especially for my first 'fic with these characters when I'd never done any type of analysis for them before. I cut several scenes that I thought were fun and I turned it in to meet the 4k word requirements, but never felt good about doing that instead of telling the story I actually wanted to tell with more wordcount.

I personally don't consider it a good reflection of my writing abilities, passions, or style and honestly I've wanted to orphan / delete it dozens of times over the years; I just don't because I've never outright deleted a 'fic before and I'm not sure how I'll feel about doing so. I don't write Coco content other than this, so I don't love seeing it on my profile. Someday I might orphan it on AO3 and wipe it from FFN, but for now it stays /shrug

I do keep this in mind while writing other 'fics, though. First of all I'll be very cautious if I'm ever invited to join another collection with a word cap, and second of all when I write chapters that end up being 27k words on accident, I give them a very careful look to see if there ARE any reasonable places to break the chapter, but if there aren't then I keep it the way it is and I don't force myself to break it in a way I don't want it broken.

I'll publish at the length I'm happy with and everyone else can take breaks if they feel the need to, and I'm happier than I would be if I always forced myself to stick to my typical 12k word cap.

[Current Ask game]

[breitzbachbea]

End of the Year Review

I guess (?) I was tagged by @kitaychan - Thank you!

1. What fandoms did you create for?

Hetalia.

2. How many works did you make this year? Fics (posted on ao3 or tumblr or wherever), edits, gifsets, moodboards, playlists, fanart, vids, meta?

I don't think my historical musings for Hetalia AUs or Scenarios don't count as meta. Apparently I've added 4 new drabbles to the Drabble Collection, finished the last two drabbles for 'Tis but a scratch, published the last chapter and Epilogue of Italian Affairs, a new chapter for Herz auf Beat on Fanfiktion.de and published 7 One Shots (6 on ao3, 1 on tumblr). I've also wrote another TurGre One Shot and another part for The Amulet that are unpublished as of now.

3. What are you most proud of?

Finishing Italian Affairs and Part 4 of The Amulet (The Amulet is not yet published). I've been working on Italian Affairs since 2015 and to have finished it is a sensation that is quite hard to put into words. I've often been afraid I'd never see the day. It's such an achievement. And Part 4 of The Amulet, a story I've been writing and editing since 2017, was another thing I'd fuck up. But it turned out so incredible and gutwrenching that it really reminds me why I write and why I put so much work into it.

4. Any stats you wanna tell us about?

Between Me and the Goddess (and You) has a bibliography of 5 books :) (No but for real, I can't remember how many words I wrote this year or anything else).

5. What inspired you this year? Any specific works or creators?

I feel so bad answering this question because everyone else linked a bunch of people and their fanfictions (and I was among them), but there was only one fanfiction that truly inspired me. The İstanbul series by sadlygrove touched me deeply for personal reasons and it was so formative for how I approached the climax of The Amulet. It really put into words why this relationship is such a tragedy.

Aside from that, my inspirations were the usual - The world, its history and music. Maggie Kilgour's book "From Communion to Cannibalism. An Anatomy of Metaphors of Incorporation" really opened a third eye in terms of how to analyze and speak about my Like Father Like Son Series. Actually - I won't tag this person but you should check them out - it was @/catilinas cannibalism tag (Upon what meat doth this our Caesar feed) that started the entire obsession with cannibalism as both tool for writing and tool for literature analysis. Truly inspiring - and now rereading my stuff is even more interesting, for all the unconscious Incorporation themes I've already included in my works throughout the years.

So yeah, I've used my term paper, which I wrote about the Bath curse tablets, for one drabble and I've read a lot of literature which left its mark on me. As did my trip to Palermo.

However, I do want to thank everyone who read my works this year, because it's still bonkers to me. @needcake (One day I will get around to read more of your stuff and maybe, maybe deliver some more neighbourhood AU), @shithole-state (I know I promised to get back to you on the ancient celts, sometime, my friend, hopefully), @fireandiceland @hetaari @kitaychan @i-declare-the-poland-rule @cunchishai @exi-stencil-ism @chaosintensifies.

I'm probably forgetting someone and I am very sorry for it. But it's so nice to see that people care! I feel almost bad that now I am already turning my back on producing content specifically for the fandom, when everyone welcomed be back in so wonderfully! But it's been great to meet you all and talk to you about certain things, about my writing and see someone else's perspective! If you ever left me a comment, trust me, it was the highlight of my day.

6. What’s a piece you didn’t expect to make? Why?

No Rest For The Wicked, because the the premise for this one was whacky as all hell for my standards (aka it felt super self-indulgent in its character selection) with a paperflimsy plot. But then I felt like going for it anyways, took a gamble ... and hey, other people liked it! And I've had one hell of a blast to write the different character relations in it, I'm very proud of the interactions and the piece actually helped me grow as a writer. (And I got to listen to Shimmy Shimmy by Takagi e Ketra ft. Giusy Ferreri on repeat for hours).

7. What are you excited to work on next year?

I really hope I'll get started on the rewrite of Irish Problems. Priority No. 1 right now is the last chapter of Herz auf Beat, which I also look forward to! As well as Part 5 of The Amulet, which then will also be finished! But man, I've got so many ideas for the rewrite of Irish Problems. I'm so excited to finally tell the story I've wanted to tell for years now. Like Father Like Son has been my life since at least 2014 (I started in 2013), so that's eight years I spent with these kids and their friends (and enemies). I just cannot wait to lay the groundwork for so many more adventures to come, for a complex but fun story with so many more characters. And to talk with people about the rewrite! The blessing of 2021 was that people read my stuff and finally, after years of isolation, I have more than three people with who to talk about my writing! It's quite freeing and thoroughly magical.

Tag some people!

I think everyone and their grandma already got tagged, but hey, if you see this and wanna do it - do it.

[in-arlathan]

Writing Tag Game

Yeah, another writing tag game! I love these! Thank you @noire-pandora for tagging me! ♥

Leaving some for @johaeryslavellan, @serial-chillr, @mogwaei, @faerieavalon, @midnightprelude, @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold, @elveny and @kunstpause if you want to do this. No pressure, as always.

Let's get to it...

________

How many works do you have on AO3?

19 works

What’s your total AO3 word count?

230,920 words

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Running With The Halla – 64 kudos

The Rebel's Ascension – 50 kudos

These Stolen Moments – 42 kudos

To Heal The Hurt – 33 kudos

A Change of Heart – 24 kudos

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I aim to respond to every single comment I get, whether they are a string of emojis or a sprawling in-depth analysis of the chapter. Knowing that someone was moved by my words to such a degree that they leave a comment is one of the best things about posting my work online and I want those people to know that their reaction is valued. Like, a lot.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Eh, all of them? By this point, I'm not sure if I can even write anything but angsty monstrosities. I feel like all of my stuff ends on a grimdark to bittersweet note. Right now, I'd say "The Scar" is the grimmest Dragon Age fic I've written so far. But "To Heal The Hurt" comes pretty dang close.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Considering that even my "happy" fics always have this angsty undertone, I'd say "What Friends Are For" is pretty chill and happy despite the Solavellan heartache. Also, "Love In Small Secret Spaces" only exists because I wanted to write smut and fluff for Solas and my ancient elvhen girl Felani, so that one is quite happy as well.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Oh gosh, let me rack my brain. I think there was a very weird Star Wars/Lord of the Rings crossover I wrote with a friend of mine. That must have been absolute ages ago! I haven't done crossovers since.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I used to get quite a bit of hate back in the day when I started out posting my work online. There were mostly people trying to take me down a notch because they thought I was aggrandizing myself by including obscure tidbits from the lore of the respective fandom in my fics. Honestly, there was one person who was particularly upset that I loved the Silmarillion and based my fics on it. It was insane. These days, however, things are blessedly quiet and I'm very happy about that!

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do, but I almost didn't. It was due to the encouragement by a few mutual writers that I gave it a try and I came to enjoy it in a way. If I had to describe it, I'd say the smut I write is very "touchy-feely". I always aim to make the scenes steamy but they always end up pretty soft and tender. I'm all about those emotions, I guess? I know it's not for everyone, but I enjoy writing all of this regardless.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Gosh, no. But I got accused of having stolen a fic idea once. Phew, that was wild!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not really. I did try to improve my English by translating one of my own works from German to English, but I never finished that and I don't think it counts. Also, writing in English straight away was so much easier in the end!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've co-written lots of stuff, fics and original works! My best friend was into writing as well, so we ended up writing a bunch of stuff together. We even wrote this 15,000 word HP crack fic one night during the summer holidays. Ah, I miss those days sometimes! But: After all those years, I'm actually co-writing something again with another writer I admire. We haven't started posting, but the constant back and forth has been a blessing upon my life, let me tell you.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

If you are here, you know that I adore Solavellan. I do have a lot of other ships I enjoy though, so I don't consider this to be my "all-time favorite". I never really had one, coming to think of it. My interests shift too often for that.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I do hope I get to finish all the Dragon Age fics that are currently work in progress. Fingers crossed for that! But there is a metric ton of fics I wrote in the past 20 years that I abandoned, many of which I still think about.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and description. And maybe character introspection. I do love to play around with a character's tone of voice in the prose.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Perfectionism, impatience and constantly thinking about what people will think of me and my work. I try to write stuff that I personally enjoy, but there is always a small voice in my head that urges me to consider a reader's viewpoint. Maybe that is because I really enjoy entertaining people. I want them to have a good time and I'm always afraid that I will let them down.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm in absolute awe of people who do speak more than two languages and are able to incorporate that knowledge into their work. If it's a fictional language like elvhen in Dragon Age, I'm astounded by what some people do with that language because I can't get behind the logic of it. But ultimately, if I'm being brutally honest, I'm a bit indecisive about it. I enjoy a few words or phrases that are tossed into the story to indicate a different language or portray a culture or highlight something, but I usually skip right to the English transcription of fantasy languages (at least in a written format). Trying to discern any meaning from the elvhen sentences clogs up something in my brain matter, I'm afraid, and it puts me out of the moment completely. That's why I tend to skip those bits, to keep enjoying the story that is being told. Ah dear, when did I get the attention span of a goldfish?

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Sailor Moon. Yes, I'm ancient.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

To nobody's surprise: "The Rebel's Ascension". There are quite a few scenes in that story that were super difficult to write, but going back and rereading older chapters always gives me so much joy and pride. It's not a perfect story, but it's the best one I've written until now.

[wincest-gaychesters]

Fic Writer Questions

from @wincestismyheart / @twobrothersoneheart not sure where the questions came from originally but thanks for tagging me! This one seemed like a lot of fun so I had to do it...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 5 works published on Ao3 which doesn't sound like a lot, but then I remember a lot of my stuff is shorter and on my tumblr haha

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

My total word count is 8521 since most of my fics are one chapter and pretty short

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

One fandom: Supernatural

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well I only have 5 lol, but here they are in order of popularity based off kudos:

Just Like A Dream - in which Sam dresses up in a tiny french maid outfit to get Dean's attention. Smut ensues.

Just Mine - boyking!Sam and demon!Dean get freaky in hell's throne room, with an audience.

All of the Sinners - demon!Sam and angel!Dean meet up at a church where things get... sexy.

Baby - Dean is finally reunited with the Impala after their separation (in season 7 when they have to get rid of her in order to hide from Dick) but it's not a perfect reunion without Sam (he is there he's just like sitting back and watching Dean love his car lol)

Ain't the Same - this one's kinda hard for me to summarize. it's just like angsty teenage-ry BS from both Sam and Dean (they're like 12 and 17 respectively). Deans been hunting with his dad but suddenly gets dropped off, with Sam, at Bobby's which he thinks is some sort of sign that his dad thinks he's not good enough to keep hunting. Sam, on the other hand, has been spending pretty much all his time alone and is happy to finally have someone to hang out with but gets increasingly pissed that Dean doesn't wanna hang out with him. They "steal" (it's from Bobby's lot so not really lol) a car, sneak out to the movies, then have a cute little bonding moment after. Just general angst and fluff.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! If you liked my fic enough to sit down and write a comment, then I can take a moment to reply.

6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I think it's All of the Sinners. I usually have open-ended endings but with the boys being on good terms. But with this fic it ends with Dean kind of asking to see Sam again, like he really wants something less casual, but Sam is very much against it because they're on two different sides (Sam's a demon and Dean's an angel).

7. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I'm not sure because they usually end pretty happy, or at least the boys are content. But I think it's between Just Like a Dream and Ain't the Same. Just Like a Dream ends after the boys' first time together with some cuddling. Ain't the Same probably is the happier ending, it ends with Dean having a realization of how happy he actually is just hanging out with his family (just Bobby and Sam at the time, but still).

8. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

I've tried to do crossovers before but they never really work out. The craziest one I came up with, even though I never really wrote it cuz it was long and didn't really make any sense, was like a multi-fandom crossover, where Sam and Dean are wizards that go to Hogwarts. I think I left out the HP characters, just used the setting, or they were in the same year as Albus Potter (I can't really remember, but I was also going back and forth on a lot of the details) but didn't really interact with him/that group. Then Sherlock and John were also there and they become pretty good friends with them, especially Sherlock and Sam get along real well. And at some point I think I wanted to throw in the 10th Doctor as well (he's my fave) but he was supposed to be like the weird friend in the group who had these weird dreams about a blue box that flew through space. Then I can't remember if I was going to try and get them into the Dr Who universe through him or not. Idk, it was crazy and didn't really have a point except that I wanted to put all these characters together in this specific setting haha!

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, nothing yet.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

That's pretty much all I write lol. Usually stuff with specific kinks, usually Sam/Dean, sometimes softer or more vanilla stuff. Kind of depends.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but it would be cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. When I write something I tend to have a very specific vision for the story so I'm probably not so great to collaborate with anyway haha.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Wincest. Hands down. Always.

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

That's a hard question for me. If it's something I want to finish then it's a story I still believe in so even if it's really slow progress I'm still working on it. The WIPs I think I won't finish are the ones I have already given up on because something about the story is off and I don't really believe in it anymore. If I still believe in a story then I'll finish it eventually lol.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm not sure. I'm very terrible at self-analysis.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think my biggest weakness is writing how I feel in the moment instead of through the lens of a certain character. I also want perfection but am so bad at editing, so my stories almost never end up the way I think of them. I find it hard to capture the mood or feeling that I dream up in my head. But wanting things to be exactly how I think of them the first time is also bad, because then I don't let the story grow or get better through editing. So it's all bad really.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't think I've encountered that before. I don't wanna say I do or don't like it but I think it would depend a lot on context.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I want to say Supernatural because it's what i've written most but probably not. I don't have everything I've written over the years saved so I'm really not sure. I do remember having a handful of fics (like two or three) for Ouran High School Host Club. But even that I'm not sure was my first.

20. What's your favorite fic you've written?

It kind of depends. I just reread a fic I wrote and only published on here about Sam and Dean in college which I really liked for the writing itself. But I love All of the Sinners because of the imagery it reminds me of when I was writing the fic, but the writing itself is not good and doesn't really get the imagery across the way I'd like it to. So, I think for the feeling it gives me it's my fave.

[caesarclowningaround]

I was tagged by @flightsofwonder! Thanks dearie!! This was interesting and fun!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

Felt With the Heart (MCU, 1123 words) Jane fiddled with the skirt of her dress for the thirtieth time. 

The Pure and Simple Truth (MCU/Mr. Robot, 2500 words) Gods and monsters. It’s all real. Who knew? For some reason, Elliot wasn’t at all surprised as he stared across the room at the ��god’ before him. 

Next Stop (Good Omens, 620 words) It wasn’t that Crowley meant to smack his shoulder into the other man’s as he walked through the subway car… but he meant to. 

voulez-vous coucher avec moi? (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast, 1163 words) Adam could have anyone he wanted. This wasn’t just hubris, it was a fact. 

Shadows (Trouble in the Heights, 561 words) The room is a swirling mass of color and fabrics. 

my happy ending is right next to me (IT movie franchise, 246 words) Richie couldn’t wait to dive into the champagne at the reception. 

Baking Without Flour (Good Omens, 961 words) Aziraphale wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he entered Crowley’s apartment, but he at least expected that he’d be unpacked by now.  

Violet Skies (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast, 42622 words (and counting)) Another day, another suitor. This one was from the far west with flowered silks and bright pastels. Prince Adam from France. 

Horizon (Star Wars, 1397 words) It was so different than anything Armitage could have imagined. And oh, he had imagined.

the booze and the bell chimes (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast/2015!Cinderella, 6272 words) 11:00 AM - 6 HOURS BEFORE THE WEDDING “BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN’ EVERYWHERE” Jafar nearly jumped out of bed, his heart pounding in time with the pounding in his head. 

The Dream (MCU/Loki: Where Mischief Lies, 602 words) There is pain as he feels the grip tighten around his throat. He struggles for air, knowing it to be futile at this point. Then, a sharp crack of agony… and he’s gone.

Submerge (Star Wars, 8750 words) His father had warned him many times as a boy to stay away from the Dark Shoals. When Kylo took to the sea as an adult, still his father warned him that morning.

Good at Waiting (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast, 618 words) Adam wasn’t sure where he was at first. But as the world came into focus around him, he remembered. He remembered dinner the night before, celebrating their six-month anniversary. 

Boom, Clap! (Crash Pad/MCU, 12175 words (and counting)) I need to lay off the weed. It certainly wasn’t the first time Stensland had thought this (or even attempted to put the thought into action soon after), much less the first time he had thought it the moment he had woken up from some batshit crazy trippy dream.

The Ocean Under the Moon (2019!Aladdin/They Call Me Jeeg, 1525 words (and counting)) Fabio had a weird, mostly unknown love for thrift stores. 

a lil something (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast, 728 words) Jafar’s phone vibrates in his pocket for the second time in the past ten minutes. 

Love is a Battlefield (The Old Guard, 1328 words) There was an excitement in the air as they all stood in formation. Syrus pawed at the ground, his hoof kicking up grass and dust that hung around his legs. 

when push comes to shove (2019!Aladdin/Trust, 1371 words) It had started with Jafar grabbing fistfuls of Primo’s ass and a mocking comment about how thin his pants were, which somehow had led to Jafar assuming Primo wasn’t wearing anything under the blue trousers. He assumed correctly.

play us an encore (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast, 2400 words) “Open your robe.” Jafar didn’t move from where he was standing in the bathroom doorway. Dressed in only his silk red robe, he stared back at Adam, who was smiling in a way that Jafar couldn’t read.

break the bubble (2019!Aladdin/2017!Beauty and the Beast/2015!Cinderella, 1092 words) “Love is like a bomb, baby, c’mon get it on…” The lights flashed as three gorgeous men walked onto the stage, lip synching with the loud lyrics of Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" playing over the speakers. 

Analysis:

First of all, the fact that 11/20 of these are crossovers is pretty telling of what my favorite thing to write is. Most are either Aladdin crossovers or Marvel crossovers (and involve either Jafar or Loki, respectively) so there’s that.

This list goes back about two years, which is interesting because in the past two years I’ve been working on bigger projects most of the time. Notice how most of these fics are under 2k? Most of these started as small fic prompts or 2am spur-of-the-moment ideas and the longer ones are the more self-indulgent fics.

5 of these fics start with a line that’s mostly used to catch a reader’s attention before a tag, which is then followed by a bit of exposition or action. Twice I use song lyrics as a way of grabbing attention because the POV of the character is also having their attention grabbed.

Several times I just jump right into a character’s POV and begin with them thinking about something or essentially telling the reader “what is happening is normal” or “what is happening is not normal” depending on the situation. It’s also sometimes a quick recap or the statement of a fact about our POV character.

Most of the time, I just jump right into the action to get the story moving. I’ve noticed I prefer to do this over giving a description of where we are. If I do give a description, it almost always comes after the opening line. With the exception of Shadows, none of these opening lines are a setting description.

I really do have a thing for crossovers, especially the weird ones LOL I just love the idea of two different worlds connecting in some way and having the characters themselves connect on another level. D*sney’s been crossing over their stuff since well before I was even born, so while it’s not surprising to see a disney crossover fic, I do think there’s something to writing that odd lil ship I’ve written about 7 fics for (dang!)

I tend to deal with themes of forbidden love in various ways and how the characters make those connections despite the fact they shouldn’t be together. Whether it’s as simple as unrequited romance, or they’re enemies, or they’re not necessarily enemies but they really shouldn’t be together... and yet they always find a way. IDK maybe I’m just a romantic at heart who loves seeing love stories about love conquering all. But that being said, the obstacles these characters face aren’t typical ones?? Like, from this list at least, love triangles aren’t something I’m interested in, but if there is a third party (like in Violet Skies) the third party is never really considered to be a “threat” to the main couple. 

That’s probably another reason why I dig crossover ships, because they inherently shouldn’t be together. they’re from vastly different worlds with maybe one or two things in common (like genre or setting or a character detail or just a vibe).

Or I’m just here to have fun and I’m dragging these characters into the fun zone whether they like it or not :P

But really, all of these are love stories in some way or another. Not that I’ve never written gen fic and I love reading gen fic! But I guess my fave fics to write are the shippy stuff. I just enjoy exploring these types of relationships, despite whether or not they “should” be together. Heck, a couple of these do not have happy endings nor should they. It’s really interesting seeing exactly how drawn to that stuff I am.

FAVE OPENING LINE This is kind of a weird thing to say, but I really don’t care a lot of my opening lines most of the time. I think they are what they need to be, but they don’t hit me the way they should? Some of these I kinda wish I could go back and change, though that’s mostly cuz out of all the lines in each of these fics the first lines I’ve read and reread the most. So it’s mostly me being my own worst critic, but I think my best writing comes more in the middle and ends of my fics, not the beginnings. 

That said, I gotta go with Violet Skies: Another day, another suitor. This one was from the far west with flowered silks and bright pastels. Prince Adam from France.

This is one of those opening lines I’d never change. The fic starts off from Jafar’s POV and he is bored of these princes coming and going and starting this big fic off with him being like “here we go again” with this basic description of Adam is exactly where the fic needed to start, so by the time the reader gets to the end of the first chapter, we know this is definitely not “here we go again” with Prince Adam~

TAGGING: @pigsinablanketfort, @heroofshield, @thenightisfullofangels, @raptorwhisperer, @theresatvjoe, aaaaaaand anybody else who wants to do it!!!!

[tackyink]

The making of Anomaly, chapter 1

Link to chapter

Since I need to reread the fic to take notes and some of you said you were interested in reading my commentary, here it is. This is going to be part behind the scenes, part character analysis.

Makoto was born on a late August afternoon of 2016, and the first chapter of Anomaly was posted a day later.

She appeared in vacuum, fully formed, blunt and snarky, with curtains of black hair framing her face and bangs that concealed a pair of unsettling eyes. She blinked little. In a way, sometimes I think she was her own person who happened to find me at the right time, sat me down, and said “you’re going to write my story.”

I knew four things about her: she was a student at Meiou, she was half-human, half-demon, her grandmother was at the hospital, and she could see the future.

Her name, Makoto, written with the kanji 誠, means “honesty.” It was a straightforward name for a straightforward girl. Concise, gender-neutral, and I settled on that kanji because I’m a Hakuouki fan and that was the character in the Shinsengumi’s flag. But that happened later down the line. When she sat me down that day, she said her name was Makoto, and I’m not about to argue a stranger’s name.

The narration is snappy and too concise, especially in the first chapter, for two reasons: I wrote it in one sitting, in a matter of three hours or so, and Makoto’s natural state is snappy and concise. This was somewhat lost as time went on, since I was putting more effort into the chapters, my style shifted as I wrote this and Inked on Skin, and Makoto’s voice, too, evolved.

Her speech pattern is meant to sound stilted. I imagine her as someone exerting such an effort to keep her energy under control that she ended up speaking in a very deliberate, controlled way, because it helps her keep calm and makes her feel more in control of herself. This is also why she counts to three when she feels something coming. She’s been doing these things for many years, so they come naturally to her, but! At the same time, that makes her hilarious to write when she goes off on someone, because she either:

gets angry, but is very obviously trying to maintain her composure and the dissonance is funny

starts using contractions left and right and yelling. She doesn’t care anymore. You’re a dumbass and she’s gonna let you know, and that’s even funnier

I didn’t expect anybody to like her, to be honest. I wasn’t even sure I liked her, but I found her interesting and wanted to find out what she was up to. This was a break I took while I was working on my other fic, and the only reason I uploaded it to Fanfiction.net was that it was readable and I figured someone wanting to kill time might get some enjoyment from it. But I got a couple of reviews in the following days, and I was feeling the Inked on Skin burnout so hard that it was nice to write something else for a change, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to see where the story started going.

Regarding the contents of the chapter, I went with the flow, adding details and scenes as I needed them. How did she know what Minamino was? What is she? What is her power? What does she think of the people around her? Why is she at the hospital?

He dropped a notebook full of math problems on her lap. Offended, she said, "Today you are going to buy a ham, cheese and lettuce sandwich. And you will regret it."

I also found out that she had an odd sense of humor.

I’ve never been happy with the conversation where Kurama tells her about his situation. I realize that it isn’t out of character, since he did the same with Yuusuke and they had known each other for even less time, but I don’t know. Feels clunky. I could’ve done that better.

I do like the bit that comes immediately afterwards, though:

Makoto watched his body language out of the corner of her eye. It didn't betray anything.

"Who are you?"

"…Excuse me?"

"You speak of yourself as opposed to Shuuichi. Who are you?"

This time, she caught his full attention with the question, and he looked at her again.

"My real name is Kurama. I was a thief in my former life."

The pieces that formed the enigma of Makoto's anomaly clicked together in place. 'Kurama.' Yes, it was fitting. It was wider, filled the spaces that 'Shuuichi' didn't cover. The human body with youki finally made sense.

It’s a hint that Makoto’s power works in an undefined way that she can’t control. It isn’t just premonitions, she knows when something is right or not. It’s a gut feeling with perfect accuracy, and her bullshit detector being so finely tuned is one of the reasons she dislikes lying so much.

Kurama’s guilt about lying to Shiori for fifteen years is what makes her open up a little for the first time. She empathizes because she sees a bit of herself in him, and because it’s not often that she finds someone else caught between two worlds that she can get along with. As much as she denies it, she longs for connection with someone who understands.

That is why she gets so angry when Kurama puts in motion his suicide plan. She just found someone she could talk to, and as soon as she had gotten used to him, which is something that Mako just does not do, he decides to leave. She is used to people ignoring her warnings, but this instance feels like a personal slight.

So when Kurama’s plan goes tits up and both he and Shiori live, Makoto gets so thrown off that she forgets about how upset she was, because what the hell. What. The. Hell.

And… that’s pretty much it for chapter one.

[darkpoisonouslove]

2020 in Words

After the total exhaustion and lack of motivation of the last few months, I have finally found the strength to review 2020. In terms of writing, that is. Otherwise, we ain’t touching that with a 100-foot pole. But anyway, let’s get to the actual good part of 2020 - the writing.

Word Count:

678, 105 words

And that isn’t actually all. I have started various things that 2021 caught still in progress so there are more words to be added to that number but I’ll count them towards whatever time frame I finish them in (I do not even dare assume that all of them will be finished this year).

A little over 1/7th of that word count was accomplished only in March when I wrote over 100k words. Wow, productivity where did you go? I know that the world is going to hell but do you mind coming back? I can use you. I have so many new ideas that I am really excited about but totally lack the energy to actually get to. Hope that will change in the next weeks because there is A Lot going on in my head that I am actually dying to share.

Fandoms:

Winx Club has totally taken over for me. I have barely written five works this year that are not about that show and I just don’t know what is happening anymore. I have so many thoughts and things to discuss and fix about it and I have a feeling that some upcoming events will only reinforce that position. But what truly matters is that it has truly made 2020 more bearable to be in the fandom and write fic. The interactions with other fans have been lovely which is totally worth the brain damage that some experiences over this show have inflicted.

Once Upon a Time lurked until about the half of the year but I can’t say that I have been actively interested in it. I just rewatched 4A for the Frozen Swan interactions and 4B for Cruella De Vil and that was pretty much all of it this year. I think it’s safe to say that at this point I have more or less moved on from the show and I do not expect a miraculous comeback to it. Which leaves my rewatch dangling over the chasm of uncertainty but I have projects I am far more interested in rn to be thinking about that.

I actually joined the Lucifer fandom this year, though I cannot say that I am active in it at all. It was nice to challenge myself with the small contribution I made to the fanworks in the fandom so I am putting it here because I am not done with watching the show even though I don’t think I have a good enough grasp on any of the characters in order to actually write them.

Ships:

Well, 2020 definitely delivered on that front. I have found myself piles of new ships to ship the hell out. Some I am more grateful about, others leave me slightly bitter over not knowing what to do with them but it certainly hasn’t been boring. Because this is my wrap-up and contemplation, I get to list them and maybe say a couple of words about some of them.

Griffin x Valtor - Not new but it was definitely the biggest part of that year.

Griffin x Valtor x Faragonda - New in the sense of me having written a fic about this now... and having several more ideas on my drives so... beware, future!

Griffin x Faragonda - Also not new but when the feelings catch up with me, they really mean it. Two major bursts of inspiration about them have left me with interesting results and I am looking forward to finding out where this goes.

Marion x Oritel - That was new. It was the first new ship of the year. I have more ideas about them but the muse has not visited lately. I am not giving up, though. Sometimes you gotta sail the ship even when there’s no wind.

Flora x Icy - That was definitely a surprise. I don’t know what happened but I do know that a goddamn look at Pinterest has brought on an entire epic about them (and the other Trix and Winx) so... thanks for that, Pinterest. I wish you could pin free time on Pinterest and go consume it later so that I would actually have the time to work on all of this.

Layla x Stella - Oh, yeah, baby! I have feelings and I really want to do at least an outline of what would be too long to actually write as a fic, especially since I have A Lot on my plate rn.

Griffin x Griselda - Well, that... happened. I have no idea where any of this is going, only that it is a major part of Griffin’s arc in my most major series so... I guess it’s headed somewhere. Just have to stay along for the ride.

Zarathustra x Griselda - So totally trashcankitty12′s fault... But I guess I am the one responsible for actually including it in already ongoing stories.

Ediltrude x DuFour - Okay, that one I totally roped myself into. Do I regret it? ... Maybe a little because it may need to remain just background thanks to everything else that I have going on.

Griffin x Marion - Almost forgot that which is a damn shame because it is one of my absolute most favorite ships.

Griffin x Valtor x Marion - Not gonna lie, this has been sneaking into some stray ideas too repetitively to be an accident. Will it ever exist outside of my head, though?

Samara x Erendor - I just wanted to make them more likable to me because they were my least favorite characters on the show. Worked too well and now I am in fic hell.

Bloom x Sky - I got ONE idea, okay? Too bad that I love it too much for my own good, especially considering that it is sort of a rewrite of the series. Like I didn’t have enough of those already.

There are more, actually, but we will be here all day if I have to list every stray idea that I have entertained so let’s just move on.

Stories:

Winx Club - 80 (4 unfinished and 3 that I have been dragging with me since 2019 for a total of 7/111 incomplete.)

OUAT - 3 (all finished but I have two collections that are still open from 2019 and 2018 respectively)

Lucifer - 1 (it was a one-shot but I am glad that I managed to write it at all)

Original works - 1 (poem that I came up with at 4am)

That makes a total of 85 written works this year which is honestly astounding! My brain has been harping on me about not being productive since June but I have actually gotten quite a lot of work done! (Fun fact - my total for 2019 was 58 stories, and for 2020 it is 85 XD. We’re gonna need some new numbers in 2021.)

First fic of the year - Gold and Purple (Griffin x Valtor AU inspired by a Bulgarian folk tale)

Last fic of the year - New Warmth to Weave in Your Garden of Shine (Samara x Erendor + New Year traditions and worldbuilding on Eraklyon)

Favorite writing moment - that has got to be coming up with a wild idea for my season  rewrite that I will not be spoiling now. It was also inspired by Bulgarian folklore and I am so excited to reveal it (because it is so fucking grand) but we will all have to be patient.\

Wildest writing experience - definitely the entirety of chapter 4 from A Home You Never Knew How to Have. Man, that was... a goddamn ride. In every sense of the word. I still haven’t reread that bitch after posting it even though I have opened it probably a hundred times.

I launched several series this year that will need a lot of work to be brought to completion. Naturally, my focus is not on finishing those but on starting new things. Because of course it is. So here’s a heads-up for another post that will be coming shortly with announcements of my ideas. I would like to call it a plan for 2021 but I fear that will be too presumptuous of me so I will say that it is my hope that those are things that are to be released this year but I will only lapel them as projects that I am looking forward to rather than “upcoming”.

Other Works:

This year actually bore a couple other forms of art so I am going to list my creations in other mediums below because they deserve the attention.

Aesthetics:

Icy

Darcy

Stormy

Marion

Ediltrude & Zarathustra

Siren AU:

Griffin

Ediltrude

Zarathustra

Icy

Darcy

Stormy

Magic-Swapped Transformations:

Griffin Winx

Ediltrude Winx

Zarathustra Winx

Griffin Chamrix

Ediltrude Chamrix

Zarathustra Chamrix

Griffin Enchantix

Ediltrude Enchantix

Zarathustra Enchantix

Videos:

Griffin/Valtor - The Devil I Know

Winx - Trouble

Marion x Oritel/Griffin x Valtor/Faragonda x Hagen - Savage

Bloom/Mitzi - Wicked

Samara - You Should See Me in a Crown

Bloom/Sky - Kerosene

Winx Rewatch:

I actually rewatched all 8 seasons of the show + the 3 movies and I have written out my thoughts on all of them. You can find them here:

Winx Club Season 1 4kids (Stream of Consciousness) (I am actually considering redoing this one because it wasn’t in-depth like the others are)

Winx Club Season 2 4kids Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 2 4kids Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 3 4kids Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 3 4kids Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club: The Secret of the Lost Kingdom (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 4 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 4 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club: Magical Adventure (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 5 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 5 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club: Mystery of the Abyss (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 6 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 6 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 7 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 7 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 8 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 8 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 1: Destiny of Bloom (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 2: Revenge of the Trix (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 3: The Battle for Magix (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 4: The Shadow Phoenix (Stream of Consciousness)

I will not be writing any takeaways because I already talked about some of those in an ask and my brain is too fired at the moment to pull off some actual analysis and compose a proper conclusion. To be perfectly honest, I prefer not to think too much on 2020. It brought a lot of good things along with the bad but I still prefer not to look back on it if it isn’t necessary. I think it received enough of my energy already.

[ancientstone]

Fic Rec List (A Tag Game!)

I was tagged by @iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid - Thank you!!

Rules: Post links (Ao3, ff.net, etc.); specify fandom/pairing/etc; don’t answer the same fic twice - spread the appreciation; tag other people; you don’t have to answer all the questions, but leave them in the list so the next person can answer if they want.

Fandoms mentioned are: Transformers, The Umbrella Academy, M*A*S*H, Over The Garden Wall, TMNT, Good Omens, Sherlock, Ducktales (2017)

(I’m going to cheat a little and ignore the *this month* parts because we’re only 2 days into 2020!)

1. Favourite complete fic you’ve read this month (multiple chapters/parts):

Transformers: Auf Nimmerwiedersehen by @morethanmeetstheass I love everything about this story (and series) and you know a fic is good when all you want to do is shake some brain cells into the characters *side eyes Blitzwing and Ratchet*. I often come back and reread this!

2. Favourite complete fic you’ve read this month (one-shot):

The Umbrella Academy: little white lies by @in-tua-deep because I adore everything they write and this one made my entire week when it was published! Just...A* Five analysis! Brilliant writing!! Great pacing!!! I love all of it! Also Klaus deserves extra kudos for being The Best sibling to his complex gremlin of a brother

3. Favourite WIP you’ve read this month:

The Umbrella Academy: If That’s Love by cylikkious Just...oof. So much oof. Major oof. Amazing character and relationship analysis between Five and Dolores and a take on them which you don’t see all that often. It’s simply *chefs kiss* Also drunk Five is always fun to read (and by fun I mean gut-wrenching!)

4. One fic/series you’ve read which you keep coming back to again and again:

Sherlock: The Elephant In The Room by flawedamythyst This is the fist fic I ever bookmarked back in 2013 and it feels like it only gets better each time I revisit it. Super writing, great at capturing the characters, and a good mix of sweet, tender moments and pure, painful angst!

5. Most underrated fic you’ve read this year:

M*A*S*H: The Very Model by the_aleator Yep, I cried when reading this. The pain. The angst. The tears. It just hits you right where it hurts and OW be prepared to be thinking about it for the rest of the day! Great writing and pacing as well!

6. Most underrated fic you’ve read EVER:

Over The Garden Wall: Secret Santa by skimmingthesurface Basically all of their otgw fics are awesome, but this one? Amazing, spectacular, incredibly winter-y and Christmas-y and festive! I love how they write Greg, and his relationship with his brother as well as Sara and all of Wirt’s other friends.

7. Favourite whump/angst fic of the year:

The Umbrella Academy: And Then There Was Five by maremote Five and Klaus running a plant shop? It’s more painful then you’d think! I love the way they write the brothers, and the brothers’ relationship with the plants, and all the pent up emotions Five has throughout. Another fic I’ve constantly come back to!

8. Favourite hurt/comfort fic of the year:

The Umbrella Academy: The Moons Laughs by @ladyorigami Me?? Crying constantly over this fic?? Nope, it’s just people cutting onions I don’t know what you’re talking about. I certainly don’t think about this fic every night, and how much Five needs a hug. Nope. Not me. Must be someone else.

9. Favourite fluff fic of the year:

Ducktales (2017): Peace and Quiet by DrummerGirl231 It wouldn’t be a fluff fic without some feels, but Scrooge is the best in this and I love him with his tiny niece and nephew. I recommend all of DrummerGirl’s Ducktales fics, because they’re excellently written and deserve to be swamped with kudos!

10. Favourite gen fic of the year:

TMNT: Hanging By A Turtle by @camsthisky Soft turtle bros? Check. Brotherly moments? Check. Hurt/comfort? Check. This fic has everything I’d ever want! I love Donnie’s p.o.v. and the way the feels. just. keep. hitting. It’s perfect, and I’ve read it so many times now that I’ve lost count!

11. Favourite smut fic of the year:

Nope, not my thing!

12. Favourite fix-it fic of the year/ever:

The Umbrella Academy: Contagious Hope by @tripleforte This will never not make me sad and the ending’s so bittersweet but that’s exactly how I like my fics so I’m actually happy through the tears! I love the alternative lives of the siblings, and how Five just?? Plonks down in the middle of all of it?? Like come on guys let’s become a family?? Perfect!

13. Favourite crack-fic fic of the year:

I searched around with the ‘tags to include’ bar on my bookmarks and according to that no fics I bookmarked this year had that tag, so I’ll leave this one be

14. Favourite sick-fic this year:

The Umbrella Academy: Get Me Out Of My Head by UnrememberedSkies Poor Five suffers in this fic and I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to hug a non-existent person more? Also give them some medicine. And a blanket. And a pillow. This fic deserves more love and I think it’s been pretty overlooked, so please check this one out because it 100% deserves it!

15. Favourite kid-fic this year:

The Umbrella Academy: Something Domestic by @gentlemenpaws Teeny, tiny, adorable Five being cared for by a Who-Let-Me-Care-For-An-Infant Klaus? I’m in. Klaus’ panic is so sweet and he just?? Wants to do his best?? And also has several heart attacks because of Five’s powers?? Poor guy. I’ve read this enough to know parts from memory!

16. Fic this year which you didn’t expect to love as much as you do: 

The Umbrella Academy: It Comes and Goes (In Waves) by hujwernoo Not to say I thought I wouldn’t like it, but going into this I didn’t realise how much I would adore this series. It’s so amazing and I have to pace myself reading it otherwise I start skipping lines in an effort to read it all at once. if you haven’t already checked it out, do!

17. Fic which convinced you to ship a pairing:

Guardians of the Galaxy: Blue on White by @bluesocksandfluff I honestly can’t remember when about I boarded the Yondu/Kraglin train, but I’m pretty sure it started with this fic! The hurt/comfort is A* and small Peter is everything, and Yondu is a grumpy grump to can’t admit he has a heart and I love him for it! This is another fic I’ve read to the point of remembering lines!

18. Favourite AU you’ve read this year:

The Umbrella Academy: the ballad of but first, coffee by deerie I was loving this fic anyway as I was reading it but what completely sold me was how they did Grace, and Five’s interactions with her. Just...Don’t mind me, crying in the corner because FEELS HAPPENED. Also Klaus being part of a knitting group? 10/10 if it doesn’t happen in season 2 I’ll riot

19. Longest fic/series you’ve read this year:

Good Omens: Inverse Omens by @amuseoffyre This series is so sweet and sad and lovely and painful and heartwarming and goddamn it Aziraphale sort out your panicking boyfriend!! I look forward to every update, and I love all the little historical moments and tidbits of information! Also the author updates super fast and I need to know what writing deity they made a sacrifice to and if that deity will accept a can of Dr Pepper and Walker’s crisps because that’s all I’ve got

20. The last fic you’ve read:

The Umbrella Academy: a life still permanent by @iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid By complete coincidence I am halfway through rereading this fic and I’m kicking myself for forgetting how goddamn good it is. I adore Claire and anyone who lays a finger on her head will face my wrath, and Allison’s siblings being awesome aunts and uncles? Yeeeeeeessss!!

21. Wildcard fic you haven’t mentioned but deserves a shout-out + why:

The Umbrella Academy: Beyond the Fire by DenDragon14 Soft Luther? Five dealing with his trauma? A setting we haven’t seen before with these characters? Klaus taking a picture he totally won’t use for blackmail later? Yep, this is my kind of fic! It’s just SO. SOFT.

Tagging: As long as you want to, all the authors I mentioned!!

[jellybeanbeing]

History of My Bookshelf Challenge

Created by the amazing Emmmabooks!

1. The oldest book on your shelf - An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir 

This is the first physical book I’ve ever gotten and still have. Yes, I only purchased it in 2018 but it’s been about two years so it counts because the other books I have, I got after.

2. A book you read in 2013 (adjust for however many years you like!) - Divergent by Veronica Roth  

I’m like, 85% sure I read this in 2013. I think I read it because the movie was coming out and I wanted to read the book first so I could judge the movie, but it’s been like five years and I still haven’t seen it.

3. A book you read in 2014 - Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

I only remember reading this book during this year because I was sitting at a teacher’s desk when someone came up to me and asked me why I was reading the book when it was going to be required reading in the near future. Other than that, I remember liking the book, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t today.

4. A book you read in 2015 - Side Effects May Vary by Julie Murphy 

Again, this is one I’m 85% sure I read in 2015. This whole book was a fever dream to me and I kind of want to read it again. 

5. A book you read in 2016 - The Fill-In Boyfriend by Kasie West 

The one thing that makes me sure I read this in 2016 was because I had made a new friend that year and the characters in the book had the same names as her brothers and I messaged her about it. 

6. A book you read in 2017 - A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas 

2017 was a good reading year for me. Before 2017, I read a lot of YA romantic contemporaries and I wasn’t going to change that until my friend lent me ACOTAR. I was reluctant at first because fantasy isn’t my favorite genre but I gave it a try and I really liked it. I ended up finishing the series and moving to other popular fantasy and otherworldly books.

7. A book you read in 2018 - The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White 

This is the year I finally started tracking the books I read. I read about 52 books this year and I’m choosing this one because my experience with it is a semi-interesting one. So I read Frankenstein in class that year and hated it. Found out this book was coming out and showed it to my English teacher who preceded to buy the book, read it, and lent it to me. Said I would probably like it better than the original (because I was open about my feelings of hatred towards the book in class) and turns out, I did! I loved what Kiersten White did with the story and the characters. I was engaged and actually really cared about the characters. 

8. A book you read in 2019 - On the Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta 

I’m obviously going to talk about this one so here it goes: I honestly don’t know what made me put this book on my TBR but it ended up there somehow (I think Goodreads recommended it to me???? But I’m not too sure). Anyways, I was watching a video from Jessethereader where he deciphers emojis into book titles and one of them was “On the Jellicoe Road” so I took that as a sign to read the book. I read it, was confused for a bit, but then fell head over heels for the story and the characters and everything about it. It’s one of my all-time favorite books now and I’m going to reread it again soon. I’ll try to make a review for it.

9. A book you’ve read more than once - The Raven Boys by Maggie Stievater 

Is this a surprise? No. Well, kind of. I’ve only read this book (and series) twice but I’m already planning on rereading it soon and every year after that. It’s my all-time favorite book series and that’s not gonna change for a while. I love the books, I love the characters, I love the story, I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. And it’s funny because it took me so long just to read The Raven Boys because I kept DNFing it. I picked it up in 2016, read the first three chapters, put it down, and forgot about it. A couple months after that, I picked it up again, read the first three chapters, and decided this book wasn’t for me. Around 2018, I got the sudden urge to read the books and thought “fuck it, I’m reading it and I’m gonna finish the book.” I finished the series and mildly liked it. I got another sudden urge to read the series again this 2019 year and IT BLEW MY FREAKING MIND WITH HOW GOOD IT WAS. I just have so much appreciation for this book and Maggie Stiefvater now, and I love it.

10. A book you waited over a year to be published - A Reaper at the Gates by Sabaa Tahir 

This is honestly the only book I’ve waited over a year to come out. I finished Torch in 2016 and I had to wait until 2018 to read Reaper. It was torture. And it’s still torture because we’re all waiting for Ember 4.

11. A book you read on vacation/away from home - Nectar in a Sieve by Kamala Markandaya

I read this for school and I remember going to California for a dance competition and not having a phone or something to entertain me so I took the book with me. For about a week, I read bits and pieces of it before going to bed. One moment I remember so vividly is reading the book on the plane ride back and it being dark and someone telling me to turn off my light because they were trying to sleep. I then proceeded to turn off my light and stare into the darkness because I wasn’t tired and I couldn't read my book. And if you’re wondering, it was one of those planes that didn’t have a TV at every seat.

12. A book you got from someplace special (anything that’s not your local bookstore/online retailer) - Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert 

My English teacher was retiring and giving away some of his books, and so I decided to rummage through his book and found a special edition of Madame Bovary with gold spray painted edges. It was gorgeous, but I gave it away.

13. A book that made you cry - Mosquitoland by David Arnold

I didn’t cry while reading this book at first, but I went back to read a few passages before giving it away and I don’t know what struck a chord in me but I was crying my eyes out over the book. The passage I had read just resonated with me in that moment and I couldn't help but cry. I read the book before some problems in my life occurred so I guess when I went to read the few parts of the book again, it all hit me real hard.

14. A book you read in one sitting - My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga

This one is a fun one (my experience with the book, not the book itself). So, I was, I think 12 or 13 or 14 years old when I read this. At this particular age, I was a firecracker when reading books. I would finish a book, A FULL 300 PAGE BOOK, in one night. I did this a lot. I’m not exaggerating. I think it’s about more than 20 books that this “finishing in one night” happened. This one though, was crazy. I started this book one night at around 7/8pm and finished it around maybe 12am? I then proceeded to pick up another 300 page book right after AND FINISH IT THAT VERY NIGHT, or morning, whatever you think. My reading energy was off the fucking charts at that age. I can’t do this anymore, by the way. It will literally take me a whole month to finish a 200 page book.

15. A book that was a gift - A Conjuring of Light by V.E Schwab 

I had already gotten the book for myself but a friend of mine bought me the book and I couldn’t say no so I took the book and now I have two paperback copies of ACOL, and I’m not mad about it.

16. A book you read before owning (library, borrowed from a friend) - Sula by Toni Morrison

I read for school, and let me tell you, it’s the only book I’ve read for school that I liked and was memorable for a good reason. Right from the first page, it captured my attention and kept it through out the book. I’m planning on rereading it and hopefully I’ll still like it as much as I first did.

17. A book you lent to someone else - Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Six of Crows is a popular YA series but do you know how hard it was to make one of my friends read this and actually finish it? I gave it to like three of my friends and they all ended up telling me they couldn't get past the first couple of chapters. But I finally got one of my friends to read the duology and finish it and love it as much as I did. I finally have a friend I can talk to about the books.

18. A book that has been damaged - The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater

I tend to keep my books in pretty good condition, but I also have butter fingers, so that’s something. Anyways, the amount of times that I have dropped this book and bent the covers is truly astonishing. And it’s bizarre, because whenever I dropped TRB or TDT or BLLB, the covers didn’t bend but when I drop TRK, the cover ALWAYS bends and it’s a whole mess but I still love it. I almost forgot to mention that I got it already fucked up so maybe it’s meant to be.

19. A book you got on sale/discounted - An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

Yes, I’m using this book again because, why not? Anyways, I got this at a thrift store and I was so psyched. I saw this book on the shelf and was so appalled because who would thrift such a good book? (If you didn’t like the book, great. That’s your opinion.) So I decided that this was my chance to finally own a book after years of not owning one, and have it be one of my favorite books.

20. A book you read with someone else (buddy read/read with a book club) - The Refugees by Viet Thanh Nguyen

I take this question to also include books I have read as required reading in class because technically, I did read it with my class. I had such a fun time picking at this book. It was not my favorite book, though I really liked the first story. My English teacher had us write commentary and I loved it. There was no literary analysis whatsoever in my notes, and I think that’s what I loved the most. I reread my notes for that book recently and they are gems.

21. A book you associate with a song - A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro

When the Party’s Over by Billie Eilish is just a song that I associated with Charlotte Holmes, and that’s never gonna change.

22. A book you associate with a food - Queen of Air and Darkness by Cassandra Clare

It’s not a specific food but more of school lunch for me. I just remember that QOAAD had come out and I was carrying that hunk of a book around and it didn’t fit in my backpack so I carried it in my arms. I was reading the book while my friend was eating her lunch beside me. After she finished eating, I had told her that there were pictures in the book and I wanted to be surprise but she wasn’t gonna read it so she flipped through the book and looked at the pictures. 

23. A book you got years ago that you probably wouldn’t buy now - The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

I got this book in Chicago this 2019 year around May only so it’ s not years ago, but I was a different person in May 2019, alright? I honestly wouldn’t get this book now because I’ve learned that I’m not a big history fan. 

24. A book you associate with a specific time in your life - Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

I was first introduced to this book a long time ago, around the age of 9, I think? My sister had a stack of books from school and I decided to look through it. I read a book called Hushi(?) and I literally, for the life of me, cannot remember who the author was but I really liked that book. Anyways, after reading that, I read bits and pieces of Speak and I vividly remember the day being a bright and sunny day, and reading the attack scene and being so shocked by it. I didn’t really understand it at the time, but every time I read that book or see it, it brings me back to when I was nine.

25. A book you used to like, but don’t anymore - The First Time She Drowned by Kerry Kletter

I talked about this book in another post of mine but it reiterate what I said: this book was a favorite of mine in 2018 but then I reread it again and didn't love it as much. It wasn’t a book that fully captured my attention or kept me intrigued. 

26. The newest book on your shelf - Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater

LAST QUESTION! Call Down the Hawk came out recently and you know I had to buy it. I’m currently reading it right now, and I’m already loving it. I’m so excited for what’s in store for the characters. I am, however, feeling a little bit sad because we won’t get to see the whole Gangsey together again (or for a while). Reading CDTH is also making me realize that those who haven’t read The Raven Cycle aren’t going to know the Ronan and Adam and Gansey and Blue that those who have read TRC know them. I don’t say this to be offensive or “you’re not a true fan because you didn’t read TRC”. No, I’m not trying to say that. It’s just like you meeting someone when you’re both 30 as opposed to 14. People are different people at different ages, and Ronan and Adam are different characters in CDTH than TRC and so some people who haven't read TRC series won’t know that version of them. And also, I mean different as in they’ve grown and certain aspects of them have changed.

[unordinary-analysis]

episode 135

Late again, but this time i have long paragraphs to blame for my excuse (yeah i'll try to work on that lol)

Honorable mentions:

I loved this chapter so much oml

Poor john is so jumpy this entire episode and no wonder

Lol can’t believe Keon didn’t know that John’s dad wrote the book

The amount of times that Keon got loud and angry… let’s just say it should’ve been him in therapy

It just fliPPINg occured to me… How did the main character in UnOrdinary die (not the comic, the book) die? I was rereading the first chapter to fact check and i saw that it said, “spoiler, he ends up dying.” i FORGOT about that. Be prepared for a separate analysis on that lol

I’ve noticed this a few times, but dAng, the headmaster is like the coolest guy ever. He defends John against Keon and has done so for students in the past. You GO headmaster Vaughn.

For John, this episode was just a little blast from the past lol

Does Keon know that John is pretending to be a cripple? (might’ve forgot this one, but i don’t remember at all)

Sorry if the statements in this contradict this was mostly done at midnight

yeah I really don’t know how trash these statements are because I just wanna get this up.

Really the only thing that happened this chapter; The Keon Interrogation:

    I’m to talk about specific things and events, then I’m going to talk about this episode as a whole. Who’s excited :)

    First, that part where John tells Keon how much he’s read the book and he freAks out. I just… don’t get why he’s worried about John becoming a superhero. I mean, Sera and Remi, yeah. But Keon knows John, or knew him. He should know that John’s beliefs don’t line up with those of the book’s and should believe that John would never risk his neck saving people he doesn’t know. The only two parts of John that Keon has ever known are his dark side (which would never help someone else without gain) and his nice side (which would never want to step out of line or do something illegal). Based on what he knows of John, the book’s ideals could even be better than the ones John held, so why. That’s the question: What is Keon afraid of and why?

    I don’t think Keon is afraid of John becoming a superhero, I really don’t. That fear isn’t backed up by his knowledge and evidence of the person he believes that John has become. If anything, the story about a man who lives in a world of cripples and helps everyone is humbling John and giving him less confidence/self-esteem. John, a boy whose ability is to mimic others’ powers, left in a world where nobody has anything. Also, why would John become a superhero? Doesn’t line up with any of his ideals or character traits (as I’ve mentioned above).

    Now, this is hard to argue because, honestly, what makes a superhero? In the book, he is a man that is kind and peaceful and helps because everyone else is a cripple. Remi becomes a superhero to avenge her brother and the organization behind his death. Rei became a superhero for what…? I think I forgot, or maybe it was never said? Why did Rei become a superhero? In episode 6, John says to Sera, “But he was trying to keep us safe.” Safe? Safe from what? Ember seems like the obvious choice, but ember is only the authorities trying to keep the superheroes in check. Did the superheroes start popping up after reading the book believing they could help someone? The world they live in isn’t a world of cripples. I really can’t picture someone just deciding ‘Hey, this guy in this book helped people, I could do that, but I’ll need a mask and secret identity’. I mean come on. I might just be forgetting something and i’m kind of too lazy to comb through every chapter of UnOrdinary (the comic) for more mentions of superheroes lol. But just like, John wouldn’t become a superhero. Not his style or his mindset. The only times he, “donned the mask,” were to stick up for Seraphina and get revenge… Not really what William Doe had in mind when he wrote the book I’m guessing. (also, and this is an afternote [im really stupid], he says in front of the lie-detector lady, “I have no intention of becoming a superhero, if that’s what you’re worried about…” Might’ve just left it out because he hasn’t said this to Keon as Keon is reacting intensely, but yeah haha).

    So, Keon isn’t worried about John becoming a superhero, no. What he’s worried about is the act of reading an illegal book. Think of his strong reaction when John told him that his Dad wrote the book and even stronger one when John said how many times he’s read it. Keon is scared of John having such an influence in his home life. If John is living with a man who so blatantly disagreeing with the basic set of standards that the government tries to hold, what kind of things has he been learning. Keon even asks if his father had been punished for the book, obviously implying that he should have been. What Keon wants is an obedient kid that doesn’t question the authorities or the normalities (is that a word?). That’s what he was supposed to do to John years ago and that is what would be best for the authorities. When he finds out that not only John’s dad wrote the book, but John also read it daily, it’s easily understandable that he’s worried. John read an illegal book that was banned by the government even after all of his sessions with Keon who tried to fix him on a cookie-cutter path. It’s the fear that John was, and will continue to, think for himself, and maybe, against his teachings and the authorities that provokes Keon to multiple outbursts in their meeting. The fear that if this slipped up, what’s to keep all of his other work on John’s mind from unraveling?

    Another thing I want to talk about from the chapter is what John says that is, confirmed by the human lie-detector lady, true.

    In the episode, John delivers a worrying line saying, “I don’t believe everyone should be treated with equal respect and I don’t plan on using my ability to help out random strangers. That’s your job and I’ve got my own issues to focus on.” This not only reiterates my statements from before about why John wouldn’t be a superhero, but honestly is a real insight to his character.

    I know that you all are thinking that he was just beating around the bush like Seraphina and carefully chose his words so as to not set off the lie-detector (i think her name is nadia. Whether it is or not is irrelevant and i will be calling her that from now on lol). I disagree. I think that the words that John said were 100% intentional and he meant all of it. It sounds bad to say that he doesn’t believe that everyone should have equal respect, but really that’s the basis of his character. That is one of his only motives for acting out. The whole monologue about how everyone was trash and there was no worth in the world. I don’t even need to say anything else, that is John’s belief and it is clear enough. I mean, I could continue. I have loads of material and I could go on, but I’m lazy so…

    John’s second statement was that he doesn’t plan on using his ability to help random strangers. This, honestly, is the thing that could most be taken as a diversion that covers his real feelings. Like, ‘he said ‘with his powers,’ but he obviously knew that he would and has helped people without his powers.’ We’ve seen him defend low-tiers getting beat up multiple times. And yet… Is he really doing it to defend low-tiers or is he doing it as a slight or as vengeance against the mid-tiers? Could John’s early on mission have been to take down the cruel higher-tiers instead of protecting the lower? Because, after Keon initially had his way with him and after John decided to act like a cripple, isn’t it plausible that John just didn’t want another version of him running around? Isn’t it likely that both Keon’s encouragement and his own hatred for himself told John that this wasn’t right, that someone had to put the bully in their place. At this time, John had humbled himself down to a cripple and decided to stop bullying others. Why stop there? Why stop at himself? And if John truly doesn’t care about the safety of low-tiers, but rather for the punishment of high/mid-tiers, isn’t his statement better supported? Not only does he not help random strangers, he fights to harm random strangers. I know I asked a lot of questions in this paragraph and I’m sorry and hope that it doesn’t sound too dry/repetitive.

    Then, John says, “- that’s your job (about helping random strangers).” And like that’s another reason why he'll never become a superhero. This is kind of a generalization, more of an addition do his last statement rather then a whole new enlightenment. The authorities helped John when he was out of control, but at the same time John said he respected superheroes. So yeah, I don’t really know what to say about this. Should’ve just added like a sentence to the last paragraph… welp too late and I’m too lazy to go back haha.

    And lastly, John says that he’s got his own problems. I don’t even need to say much for this lol. 1. Sera’s problems. 2. Arlo. 3. Keeping his identity secret (as Tuesday). E.t.c.

    So yeah, I really do believe that John meant exactly what he said. Fight me.

    Moving on now…

        Now, you’ve reached my overall part. I’m just going to talk about the episode as a whole. The episode showed John struggling with confronting his past, and leaves you wondering whether or not he has changed. Has he held a grudge? Or not? We can’t really be sure unless John explains it in the future because he put on a facade, a mask, to ask well in front of Keon.

    It’s pretty obvious at least that John is suffering through some ptsd, and more than usual, as is evident with the abundance of flashbacks this episode has to offer. He has had dreams, flashbacks of that day in New Bostin, which are signs of post traumatic stress disorder. This might just be the episode that it is most heavy on so far (correct me if i’m wrong and this happened a lot in another chapter lol [not counting episode 104, that was entirely flashback, not john thinking of it]). And it’s easy to understand why. Keon, the literal embodiment of John’s past mental state, is suddenly thrown back into his life, even if it’s just for a short period of time. John really hasn't interacted with the man at all since their “classes.” For him, Keon is only associated with the worst time of his life, is only around after John has ruined things. It must be hard to see him again. But that still doesn’t answer my question from before. Does John hold a grudge?

    I would think that if John didn’t hold a grudge towards Keon, it would prove that his ‘brainwashing’ is somehow still affecting him, his sessions are still at the forefront of his mind. That whatever Keon did to him was permanent. This would mean that John’s mind can’t truly be held completely responsible for all of his recent actions. I’m not saying that he didn’t do anything wrong, just that who John is right now isn’t the real him. This revelation changes my perspective on a lot of John’s newer decisions. Becoming Tuesday, teaming with Cecile, but most importantly, his disagreement with Arlo’s hierarchy. Now I know that Keon’s classes weren’t to make John disagree with the hierarchy, but they were to make him less extreme about the levels he takes it too. With Keon’s training, John was drilled that Everyone had their own place within the hierarchy. That he needed to take responsibility for everything he did. Keon made John believe that because of what happened at New Bostin, and I’m quoting directly from episode 105 (John’s inner dialogue), “I’m not brave. I’m not compassionate. I hurt a lot of people. I am a bad person.”  Keon’s whole ‘shtick’ was that a person was in charge of placing themselves correctly into the world they’re born it and that if you can’t handle that place, or don’t deserve it, you’ve placed yourself incorrectly. This relates to Arlo because of the whole ‘unofficial dethroning’ thing with John. That big battle they had a while ago where John walked away the winner (I‘m not sure why I’m explaining this, lol yea of course you all remember that was like the biggest plot point ikjsbdjf).  Because John knows that Arlo was beaten, he believes that he shouldn’t be able to be king. But not only that, because why would that make John want to destroy the hierarchy? John wants to destroy the hierarchy because he’s seen how poorly it places people. The royals are rarely held responsible for their actions (think: bullying low-tiers, not being responsible [cough cough REMI cough], e.t.c. wHEn wiLl you leaRN thAt youR ACTIonS have cONseQUENCEs?). The low-tiers give and give, but never get what they deserve. John has known this for a while, he’s tried to make up for the royal. This discovery isn’t really important, it just means that who knows what thoughts and actions of John’s are really John’s? So yeah, maybe look out for some real extreme internal conflict between the alternating personalities/individuals living in his mind? I don’t really know…

    Next up; if John did hold a grudge against Keon. It would mean that, yeah anything above is just not true… yeah…

    Yeah also (and Im gonna rush this part because im tired and this has been really long), i love the recurring theme of interrogation. I don’t know what to say, it just really personifies the feel of UnOrdinary.

    Also, just a great ep.

[0-q-0]

1-50 please

…………….rUDE

also you didn’t think this thru

yOU PLAYED YOURSELF YOU DIDN’T SPECIFY FOR FAaC

For fic specific questions imma go for Anomalies lmao bYE

things that inspire you

Everything

things that motivate you

Nothing. lmAO

name three favorite writers

…….ER…….idk i haven’t read anything in a very long time other than textbooks kill me pls.

name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why

The Nemesis™. Because I never want to be like them lmao i live on spite.

since how long do you write?

…….huh….is it just me or is the grammar of this question off?

i’m guessing this means ‘writing fiction’? idk which counts. shitty unfinished oneshots of other fandoms a few years ago probably doesn’t. I hope it doesn’t. LMAO

how did writing change you?

ruined my life

early influences on your writing

…………..too much commas?

what time are you most productive?

past midnight

do you set yourself deadlines?

ye

does it work? no

lMAO

how do you do your researches?

extensively

do you listen to music when writing?

sometimes

favorite place to write

……..in fic? or where i write? Favourite place so far is London. Library seems to work best for me.

hardest character to write

shit. Quinlan?

easiest character to write

Hartwin

Also one of the hardest btw rip

hardest verse to write

…..FAaC+Anomalies probably because they’re all connected. i have to make sure they match up. it’s also canon craig!bond verse so ugh i don’t want to watch james bond again, especially ones without my son Q

easiest verse to write

……oneshots verse lmao

favorite AU to write

Dark(er) au

favorite pairing to write

Gay spies thanks

favorite fandom to write

……….idk

favorite character to write

………..idk

least favorite character to write

…………………idk

favorite story you’ve ever written

lmao i hate all my works

least favorite story you’ve ever written

FAaC. Anomalies. Pathways.

favorite scene you’ve ever written

haven’t written it yet

favorite line you’ve ever written

…………haven’t written it yet

story you’re most proud of

i haven’t written it yet. lMAO

best review you ever got

……….im blessed to have a lot i cant choose. I love the one that lasts 7 pages with meta analysis and feels im weak

worst review you ever got

………….tHAT ONE PERSON WHO JUST….was so impatient and tired of Harry’s dilemma that they wanted Eggsy/Cavendish

and i……..wanted to die

favorite story/poem of another author

…….lmao i haven’t read anything in a while. like…a while.

hardest part of writing

being poor and not having the luxury of focusing on writing

expectation

not knowing what the hell im doin

easiest part of writing

……………….character…feeling??

alternate title for (insert story title)

Anomalies series had the alternate title of The Distance Between Two Points

lmao kms

alternate ending for (insert story title)

……darker au

alternate pairing for (insert story title)

……….gross

single story or multi-part story?

Single

one-shot or multi-chaptered story?

Multi

canon or AU?

canon compliant au lMAO u can’t tie me down

do you reread your own stories?

unfortunately. for errors. makes me nauseous. 

do you want to be published some day?

yes please sustain my existence im just a potatoe.

which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series

the unpublished royal au in my head. both of them. lMAO

one song that captures (insert story title)

tsk………that would be spoilers

bUT FOR THE ANOMALIES SERIES IT’S THAT DUMB ‘I HATE U I LOVE U’ SONG BY GNASH. i heard it on the radio once i died and cried for quinlan.

do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind?

i usually plan. but then things come up and i add it to the outline. which is my downfall

would you ever write a sequel for (insert fic title here)

ugh unfortunately. i want none of it.

do you write linear or do you write future scenes if you feel like it?

I used to do linear, but scenes and dialogues come up and if i don’t write them down i forget and live a life of regret so i have to put a reminder or a drabble.

share the synopsis of a story you work on that you haven’t published yet

………………..dark au of FAaC, darker dark au of FAaC: where……..dark stuff happens.

share a scene of a story that you haven’t published yet

………..lmao yeah Anomalies, not that anyone cares, but erm

There will be a scene of Quinlan’s POV during Wetherby years when he finds Hartwin in the park for the 1st time

how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time?

………..in my head? 938742938742983

three spoilers for (insert story title)

idk if this counts as spoilers…some could be more described as trivia really…………..

Anomalies/FAaC is the (supposed) canon Craig!Bond verse because im stupid and take more work than i can handle

Quinlan and Bond will meet in the 2nd part of the series

ROXY WILL SHOW UP SOON!!!

writing advice

DONT let it take over your life. you will die

open question to the writer

……..lmao yeah you didn’t think this thru

[zielenna]

hello I have come to invade your inbox again: 1, 2, 6, 9 for books!

1. a book you loved?

i struggled here - there are books i read & enjoyed a lot, a lot - but i’ve mentioned it here? i mean, winterson’s lighthousekeeping, carson’s autobiography of red, and atwood’s cat’s eye. 

so i’ll go with the mill on the floss by george eliot. it’s a very - proper - novel, a bildungsroman with an instructive streak which is apparent, but not obnoxious, i wouldn’t say. the heart of the book is a conflict between a sister and a brother - to put it crudely, he doesn’t approve of her & she needs his approval. what made it work for me is that maggie is intensely relatable but tom - whom my subject mates hated rather easily - is a character i would admire if he were more self-aware. i spent some time here, writing and writing on characters who are hard-working & disciplined - & tom is, but he’s also horrible. still, i couldn’t just dismiss him & i was following it closely - will they or will they not reconcile? (will he or will he not stay a horrible person?) & it was new, because we are now - i think? - more used to caring intensely about…well, romantic dynamics / relationships more than platonic / familial, so it felt new, to be so invested in a conflict between siblings. 

there are more things there - this book, despite its focus on maggie’s mostly unhappy life, is terribly funny at times. & it’s very skilfull where maggie’s bad choice love interest comes on to scene: you know stephen doesn’t work, you’re conflicted? it uses funny relatable scenes to attach you and then it kicks you in the gut. & finally, as i said, it’s a very moral novel - & i’m still interested in the characters who’re trying to do the right thing. 

2. a book you hated?

i’ve mentioned this, but penelopiad by margaret atwood. i…usually like atwood? i would say so. but penelopiad is the disappointment of this year (well, trk is another but i gave up after 140 pages so). it’s, as the name would suggest, a re-telling of odyssey from penelope’s point of view. & although atwood gave a good lecture on how you should not screw female characters for the sake of other female characters (among other things) she does…the same thing? any sentence she writes on helen is…wrong. also she almost hints that telemachus is somehow queer, only for it to be revealed that he didn’t praise helen’s beauty because he didn’t want to hurt his mum’s delicate feelings. jesus. i deserve - i don’t know, a cup of hot chocolate or whatever we do to comfort people - for every time an author makes me thing a character is queer and then does - this. i like this quote though. 

 6. a book that was super frustrating?

ha…this has to be far from the madding crowd by thomas hardy. i was…reading it just after i finished jane eyre & the difference was…apparent. i hated it intensely when i read it, also because i messed up my reading schedule & had to plow through 280 pages on a single day with a pack of stale biscuits as my only comfort. this was the book i texted in capslock about. but, i came around. i still find the descriptions of sheep breeding / caring excessive, but what bothered me most, which is, misogyny i feel would be more appropriately read as free indirect speech, so the male characters’ views rather than the narrator’s? because at some point, it doesn’t work anymore. you can’t think hardy genuinely means this, considering that he wrote bathsheba, too. so, not only he doesn’t think this, but he also ridicules it? he’s easy to rip on, but i don’t feel it’s fair to take sentence-long quotes out of context & treat it as evidence for his views (which is what i did, ofc. but i needed to cope somehow). i’m still not sold on the romance - i like the, what - the mission statement, but it’s not…engaging? at all. & oak and bathsheba’s dynamic is mostly oak lecturing her, which i’m not too excited about. anyway - an awful read, a bearable book & i loved the secondary reading, so i’m not unhappy i had to read it.

 9. a book you learned from?

so, an unobvious answer would be four quartets by t.s. eliot. i didn’t learn so much from reading but from studying it / writing the essay afterwards. mostly, i learned how much work i can take. 40h in four days is my limit & the week afterward (last week of the term) i spent numb, achieving the absolute minimum & speed-writing a shitty essay because i just didn’t care anymore. eliot though. i felt i didn’t understand him at all? so i needed to do so much more critical reading & close reading & close rereading. he references an awful lot of obscure texts (like, st john of the cross’ ascent of mount carmel. who knows this? i didn’t). i focused on getting the references down first & then went from there. what i also learnt was that i could write, if spiteful enough, an essay with no semi-colons in it. my supervisor, giving me the feedback on the previous one, counted the semi-colons i used by hand (it was thirty seven so. i get it’s a problem. still) so i limited my punctuation to commas and periods. & finally, even though this was the essay i sweated blood over, it was still not great? it was good as an analysis / explanation of what eliot does, but not of how he does it, which. was the point. but, as with every camb essay, i learned ‘good enough’ is…really, really great. also, i think four quartets is a great piece of - can’t say writing because i wouldn’t be able to substantiate that, but - a great piece of thinking? i liked the stuff i wrote about, i mean.

an obvious answer is how to read a poem by terry eagleton. i - didn’t learn how to read a poem, no - but i liked the chapter on the carnation theory / fallacy & it made me think differently. so, the high school mode of analysing poetry, when we did this, was to find as many links between vaguely understood form & content. as in, the speaker says forest leaves grass and the repetition of s gives an impression of a murmur one would hear in the forest, as the leaves and grass move on the wind. and so on. so terry eagleton takes this and says - this is a fallacy. words aren’t their meanings (sign signifier blah). which forced me to look more critically at my responses to poetry - because i used to do that, i used to look for these links, so it felt counterintuitive - not to? also, the fact it’s carnation theory, like incarnation, gives such a religious taste to it - is the word the body? & i can’t say much more than that, because i read the book half a year ago, but i remember intensely enjoying this. 

[tackyink]

The making of Anomaly, chapter 3

Link to chapter 3

I’ll openly admit that, at this point, I had no idea what I was doing, but I was in a YYH mood and Makoto seemed to have piqued people’s interest, so I thought I might as well keep going.

The chapter opens with Makoto and Yuusuke trying not to die as they run laps around the lake. That’s Amemasu’s home, so when she sinks her head in the lake, there’s a good chance they saw her for the first time in many years.

I didn’t know yet what lived in the lake, and neither did Makoto, but Amemasu had been aware of Mako as early as Nana first brought her to the temple and was shown around the lake. At this point in the story, she hasn’t been in the forest in a long time, so Amemasu probably had a very confusing moment as to who this young Nana lookalike with youki was.

"There is something odd about his aura. I cannot pinpoint it, but it's there."

"As I understand, he died and came back to life."

This is Makoto actually sensing Yuusuke’s weird wavelength that almost got him stuck in the afterlife. Genkai offers a passable explanation, but what Makoto’s picking up isn’t due to his resurrection, it’s the budding demon genes that are still obscured by Yuusuke’s very human… everything.

He wasn't supposed to be there. That's why Kurama's death had been so clear to her, it had to be. Her prediction hadn't accounted for this guy because he just wasn't supposed to be there, wrecking everything he came in contact with. He was tearing down the very paths of fate.

Plucked from the river of life and thrown back in without a care, the ripples he caused were affecting the people he crossed paths with.

The mother of all anomalies. The source of her headaches for over a week. It had been his fault all along.

I cannot stress enough that this wasn’t planned and I was just following Makoto’s thoughts to their logical conclusion. Luckily for me, Makoto turned out to be a very reflexive character, and I think a lot of Anomaly’s charm is due to this: we as fans know the story in a way that is hard to be surprised anymore, but re-experiencing these events through the eyes of someone with inside knowledge of how things work in-universe and no idea of how events will play out opens up many avenues for analysis. She notices things that our familiarity or ingrained first impressions make us overlook. At least, that’s how it worked for me.

And Anomaly could very well have ended here, with its main mystery resolved, but I was having way too much fun to let go yet.

I didn’t expect Mako and Yuusuke to get along so well. I honestly thought she’d just write him off as dumb and loud and he’d think she was off-putting and had a stick up her ass. I didn’t realize until I had them alone in the same room that Yuusuke and Fumiko are not so different, and Mako was used to dealing with her more than with anybody else. I think she finds some comfort in people who are so radically different to her, who’s always gone through life restraining herself. And after his trip through the afterlife, Yuusuke is not the judgmental type, so when he brings up her oddities, he does so in the same straightforward way Fumi does, with no ill intent. She knows how rare that is and appreciates it.

The other thing that I cannot stress enough is that Kurama is a nightmare to write. Their little back and forth after school was torture to write because I can never figure out what is going through his head. Rereading this with some perspective, I’d say that he found her funny and he was very curious about Makoto’s power. He’s taken a liking to her, of course, since she was worried about him and his mother back at the hospital, but at this point she’s a bit of a sociological experiment to him. Though, to be fair, all the connections Kurama forms along YYH have that feel. Human World relationships are a novelty he hasn’t experienced much.

"I'm sure you look fantastic when you exercise. Not a hair out of place, all prim and proper with your clothes neatly pressed."

I just want to point out that I share Makoto’s saltiness regarding this matter.

"Good morning, Makoto," he said amicably.

She refused to take her eyes off the road. "Are you a stalker?"

It’s fun to write people with little regards for social conventions.

At any rate, the entire conversation they have during the run was me trying to set the inner workings and limits of Mako’s ability for my own benefit as much as for the readers.

By the time Mako’s back to the temple, Yuusuke has surpassed her, maybe not in energy reserves, but 100% in technique. He’s a prodigy and she’s slow, she’s assumed that there are some things she simply cannot do, and this is why she won’t catch up to the others in terms of battling skill for the rest of the fic.

Mako’s habit of counting to three fit so well with it being a habit from training as a child, like a ballerina counting steps, that when I thought of it I was like, ‘Oh, so that’s why she does that!’

Genkai hummed and, after a few seconds, she said, "You should also know that you are always welcome here."

This small remark was, in the end, what decided Makoto’s fate at the end of the fic. I kept coming back to this sentence, thinking of how Genkai wanted the temple grounds to become a refuge for non-humans. She knew that Makoto was bound to feel out of place no matter where she went and wanted to help with that in her own way. It sort of worked, in the sense that it became Mako’s home down the line, but Makoto never felt it hers. She always felt like she was just the keeper of the grounds, waiting for the true master to come back, and she sticks to the philosophy of welcoming everyone, first to honor Genkai’s wishes, later on because she realizes that it is important for everybody to have a place like that. This is something I would love to explore in the sequel, if I ever get around to writing it.

As for her parents, they are just regular good people. They aren’t very interesting, nor were they meant to be. Mako’s home life is the model of what a nuclear family is supposed to be: happy suburban couple with a kid, a two story house, stable jobs, a nice car, and not a worry in life other than doing too much overtime. Makoto is weird enough for all of them, so her family didn’t need to be.