#also what does this say about me do I have AuDHD like I think....
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changbinsboobs Ā· 1 day ago
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Changbin as husband is next I'm curious for his and hyunjinss
This is the longest fucking reading I've ever had so i just HAD to split it in 2 parts so bear with me. I love him but i hate him right nowšŸ˜© (no im not)
Husband Series: Changbin pt. 1
Ugh...that guyšŸ«  i bet you if i let him use up my whole deck he would. The amount of "ok last card" i had to say...and yet there was still so much gushing put...and ugh, i just can't stress enough how much into details he is and how much he wants to stress on them and make sure they don't go unnoticed or get misunderstood or overlooked. Reminds me so much of my audhd friendšŸ˜­. Anyways back on track - tho i don't even know where to begin from, i really think he used up half my deck. I just counted 23 cardsšŸ˜³ i do indeed draw a lot for the others too but thats just next level. Not on topic but i think he's a really chatty drunkšŸ˜‚ now i wanna read on them when drunkšŸ™ŒšŸ»šŸ˜‚
Ok soooo since i have so many cards ill try to combine them as much as i can and keep the messages as concise as possible so this post doesn't become a novel - the overall energy i noticed here is not so much emphasis on him as a husband but overall him as a partner in a committed relationship. Which leads me to believe he himself doesn't view marriage with such dread as the others did (there wasn't really any dread with felix bust still a certain anxiety around responsibilities, meanwhile that with changbin is absolutely nonexistent). I would say he seems himself as capable and even ready to take on that responsibility and role if the opportunity presents itself and i think he believes he'll do a good job. He's responsible, capable and can take care of it. I actually sense a feeling of pride in him about that.
Another MAJOR theme is him being a "simp" for his partner (he insists on wife). There are many cards that im trying to sum up:
He's very protective over her and doesn't let anyone say shit about her, he's giving me guard dog vibes. Also a big bodyguardy. I can see him when being out with her eyeing people and being on alert and just idk, looking scary as to scare of any weirdos before they even think about trying something. And to clear any misunderstandings up, im really not getting this coming from jealousy (not that its not there, it isšŸ˜‚, but its just 10% reason, out of 100), but rather because he wants the woman he loves to feel safe and protected around him. He wants her to be able to relax and trust that he will always have her back and keep her safe. He wants her pretty little witty head not to be bothered by ANYTHING!
More from the simpy train - looks up to her a lot and kinda puts her a bit on a pedestal. This is not a very debilitating energy but feels rather like something he has made peace with and accepts - which is that she is indeed better than him and he can never be able to reach her, which means he is incredibly lucky and appreciative of the fact a woman like that has chosen him and he tries whatever he can to live up to her standard and continue to give her reasons to stay with him and continue to love him. Although she can never love him as much as he does (thats his thoughtšŸ„²). But as i said this doesn't feel victimy to me at all but rather just seems realistic to him and he's a big boy and can accept reality for what it is and choose to feel lucky instead of beating himself up for not being good enough and self sabotage. Im actually really shocked looking at his energy because i can really feel the strength of his mind and ughh just how innovative and flexible he is. His will is just astounding and making me really happy, despite him obviously having some issues he doesn't let himself be defined by it and chooses to spin them to him favor. What an amazing guyšŸ’—
Back to the reading - so he spends a lot of time in his head, doing A LOT of 2 things. One is being thinking of his girl and what he can do to make her happy, analyzing previous conversations to see if he missed something or if he has remembered everything. Contemplating if she maybe gave him a hint about something, or if she maybe looked hesitant with something. Maybe her body language was off? He notes that. If there was any difference in her behaviour today, if she looked different. He's really putting LOTS of energy thinking about her and analyzing her and her behaviour. Again this doesn't seem to come from distrust (although he thinks of that as well, its just not his motivator, he just considers everything, thats why) but rather for his own feeling of safety. I think he is a very thoughtful and analyzing and sensitive person in nature so this may be something he always does, except when its something very important to him, and a relationship at that - he does it even more intensely. He doesn't only think about and analyze her tho. He does that to him too, to their relationship as well. He just wants to have a good understanding and overview of everything that is happening in the relationship so he has a sense of control and safety. You can always fix something if you know its broken. Or beginning to bend. You can fix the problem before the branch brakes i think is what he wants to say. And he wants things to run as smoothly as possible with them, and once again he has taken on the responsibility to make his girls life as easy and carefree as possible and how can that happen if he leaves the whole relationship in her hands?! He can't, so he doesn't his part very diligently and tries to keep up on the same level as her, emotional-intelligence-wise.
He also doesn't to just thinking but planing & organizing. So i think he takes lots of care for other stuff too like planing and booking fun dates. If he cant attend then books fun stuff for her. Provide her with the needed tools/means for her to be able to create, to indulge in her hobbies. He really loves that feminine creator energy and really wants to do his best to encourage and provide an encouraging environment for his wife to get in her feminine creator energy and bring him joy with it. Also thats really random but he's always ready and loves giving her massagesšŸ˜‚šŸ’—(after her long day of crafting). He just loves hearing about it, seeing the excitement in her voice and face. It charges him.
He also spends lots of time fantasizing about her. Reminiscing wonderful dates, imagining potential future ones, creating scenarios etc. He's just A LOT in his head, his mind is really really active, and its very occupied with his love. Also another random message, commitment and love are tied with him somehow. Im seeing he cant commit if he doesn't love but he also cant love if he can't commit. So i would say he's very extreme-y. Like he's either all in or all out. No middle ground. What i mean is he HAS to be this intense in a relationship because for him thats commitment, THATS expressing love. And if he's not able to do that, then his love and interest and enthusiasm begin to fade away. He HAS to be able to be like that in a relationship and i think often he has been labeled (or was) just WAYYY TOO MUCH for the girls he has been in a relationship with. Im seeing he can get very overwhelming and overbearing if the person he's with just isn't the person to enjoy that kind of commitment and effort. But to go back to the cards, he also fantasizes about physical stuff too, for example he's riding in the car, and for the whole ride he's imagining and giggling and wiggling his feet and twirling his hairs because he plays over and over how that one time while they were still just dating she looked him in the eyes with that wet sexy look, and how his whole body got shivers and his stomach dropped and his heart skipped and his palms got sweaty and he swears some saliva started dripping out the corner of his mouth and his knees got weak and he almost felt like he was gonna black out and by the time he came back to his senses she was already sooo close to his lips and them BAM. Fireworks everywhere. He can never forget how that wonderful kiss felt and how sweet the sexual tension and anticipation before it was. He plays stuff like that OVER AND OVER again the whole damn day.
While being on physical stuff, he is pretty horny ill say. But not in a bunny way,m where he wants to fuck 5 times a day, but rather when around his girl he's always half way up, always ready to rise for the occasion iykwim. I think he gets *excited*šŸ‘€ very easily and is just really weak when it comes to his girl. He's always ready to deliver whenever she ask, whatever she asks. Als im seeing once again he's a giver (and despite him loving head so much) he's focused on her pleasure and he can off just from watching her enjoy...whatever it is. So yeah thats thatšŸ˜‚
Bro im so tired im thinking about doing this in 2 partsšŸ˜­ im just halfway. Ok yk what im splitting it.
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will80sbyers Ā· 12 days ago
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the weighted blanket really is witchcraft in action because I put it on like 3 minutes ago and I'm now getting sleepy
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chillllii Ā· 7 months ago
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when the audhd is fun until you become "i really really really have to give my input/side/idea and i dont give a fuck who's talking or what everyone was initially talking about" and before this site's illiteracy kicks in i'm certain we're all guilty of this to some extent
#well i'm not fucking talking to you am i#this is not directed at every reader but i think even if you think ''i'm not that bad#chilllli yelps#not everything autism/adhd/audhd does is cool we do annoying shit sometimes and that's just a fact that yall dont wanna hear#it's also ok to make mistakes and it's ok for your brain to have flaws#but also when you interrupt people to say smth that either no one cared to hear. no one was even saying. or fuck maybe someone already said#it. it's a little fucking annoying and when you do it over and over and over and over sometimes people get sick of your shit#you have flaws you are imperfect and your ego will be your social death if you do not learn to allow others to speak#fuck#if people start screaming at me btw cause i said smth that's true i'm blocking and deleting that shit#work on yourself#i also know yall are gonna be like ''oh well *I* never interrupt people and when i do i apologize you should at least do a small self evalua#just a small ''well do i listen to my friends very well? do i listen to the conversation i am a part of?"#also to yall who go into discord calls and lurk but sometimes talk think ''when i speak is it actually relevant to some extent?#or if you REALLY wanna talk about it it's ok just try to find a way to segway into what you wanna talk about cause that's how conversations#work.#i dont really expect this post to go anywhere tbh i'm just kinda frustrated cause i know a lotta neurodivert people who do this and idk how#say that interrupting people is annoying and disrespectful cause i know the brain chemical gets excited when it has smth it wants to talk-#about#i love you and i want you to tell me things. i also want to say things and when you talk over me to tell me things it comes off as you not#giving a fuck what i or others even are saying cause you're taking over the conversation with your shit that's irrelevant and no one has-#mentioned#idk i think i'm tired of seeing people be disrespected all the time but not knowing a polite way to tell them that they need to wait their-#turn to speak and when it's appropriate to change the subject
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thechocolatearmor Ā· 9 days ago
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OK OK OK OK OK people talk about sniper, or pyro, or medic being autistic right?
B u t
What if I told you all of them are?
Every single one.
Engineer? He's autistic. Soldier? Autistic. Frickin Spy?? Omgsh he's so autistic
So because my brain won't stop itching about this I'm going to write up a collection of all the evidence I have for why the TF2 mercenaries possess within their beings the big tism. By the time this is over y'all are going to be very sick of the word autism.
But IDC
So without further ado, let's go through each of these silly mercs one at a time:
Scout:
Alright, first up we got Scout. Scout I would consider to be AuDHD for multiple reasons
The ADHD is more obvious but like dude trust me he's autistic too
He's hyperactive, forgetful, gets distracted easily, kind of the basic stereotypical ADHD stuff you would notice immediately. He stims, he fidgets, he struggles in social situations, he's seen as over the top and a bit annoying, he talks a lot
Now a lot of these traits are things that are common for both autistics and adhders. But I wanna point out some things I notice about him that are autism specific
He has a special interest: It's Tom Jones. Honestly he probably has a special interest about baseball too
But I mean c'mon he's literally has a Tom Jones tattoo
You could argue this is just a hyperfixation but I bet it's been going on for a while
He also has "spikey" skills. Really good at stuff like drawing, dancing, sports, but he sucks at things like reading, math, etc
Mostly what makes me see him as autistic it's how he struggles in social situations. Bro doesn't know how to flirt unless he's got a bucket of chicken on hand
Soldier:
Honestly if anyone's autistic coded it's soldier
Special interest is all things American, especially if it relates to the military
Lots of autistic people wear certain items that remind them of something they like, usually disregarding things like how it looks or even whether or not it's comfortable. Soldier's helmet is way too big for him but he's almost always wearing it anyway
In meet the spy he does "hut hut hut" when he's doing down the stairs and it makes me so happy
He has no filter, he takes things really literally, he often sees suggestions as orders (teleporting bread anyone?)
Also when he says he's been doing nothing but teleport bread for 3 days it makes me think he must've been hyperfocused on that
I don't think he knows anything about volume control since he's yelling everything
What kind of neurotypical fights bears in Siberia while naked and covered in honey
He speaks his mind rather than beating around the bush
His helmet could also double as helping him avoid eye contact
Pyro:
Tell me they don't have aversion to like every texture besides their suit you can't
A lot of their animations are super stimmy
Pretty much nonspeaking
Has childish interests
Could also have schizophrenia? (I'm relatively uninformed about it tho so I might not be a good person to judge)
I bet half of their little mmph mmmph noises are audio stims
Special interest is fire
their stim is ARSON
Demo:
I headcanon him as AuDHD too
I mean tbf a lot of how he is is more related to alcoholism but shhh let me have this
But I mean he made friends with Soldier
Special interest in medieval weapons which would explain why he's crazy about swords?
Drinking could be an unhealthy coping mechanism/safe food
Probably also depressed with how he can never live up to his family's expectations
Infodumping about bombs in his introduction video
Honestly most of my "evidence" for him is just fanon but idc I like autistic Demoman
Heavy:
Whether or not him having a PhD in Russian literature is canon, some of his in game lines show him to be very poetic and thoughtful
The fact that he only has a few food items but always seems super happy to be eating them gives me safe food vibes
He sings and hums a lot, probably as a stim
He has the Resting Autism Faceā„¢
Special interest in his gun
A lot of his voice lines also just feel really stimmy to me, especially when he's doing the "YATATATATATA" thing
Not sure he has any volume control either
Seems to genuinely enjoy Medic's morbid stories, at least to a point
He really really really really really likes the song of the Volga boatmen in particular
He's the prettiest princess it's canon, you can't be a pretty princess without being autistic /j
He has a tiny bed for Sasha. HE HAS A TINY BED FOR SASHA
Heavy is often criticized as a class because guess gameplay is relatively simple and can become a little stale for a lot of people. Yet Heavy seems to have some of the most excited voice lines in the game. I feel like this emphasizes how much he thrives in routine, since he seemingly never gets bored of just doing his thing
Engie:
He has 11 phds
A lot of his voice lines also sound really stimmy to me. Either he's going YEEHAWW GIDDY UP or he's yelling DAMNIT DAGNABIT DANGIT DAGGIT NABBIT
Probably a lot of echolalia with that too
He humanizes his buildings and cares for them like a mother bird
Just listen to his genuinely heartbroken when his sentry gets taken down!
When playing Engie sometimes I find myself smacking stuff with my wrench even though I KNOW it's already level 3 and maxed and whatnot, or I KNOW I'm out of metal, just because I wanna hear the clang noise. So this point is just me projecting but I love the mental image of Engie giving his things a few extra whacks too
He sawed off his arm for his special interest
His whole monologue in meet the engineer is so autistic sounding to me
His dancing taunt also feels stimmy
He's always hunched over, implying irregular posture
He's a NERDā€”
Man of many talents including playing the guitar
Never takes those goggles off
How does he turn a stressful TF2 match into a (not so) relaxing tower defense game?
Medic:
I headcanon him as AuDHD too because he seems really scatterbrained and it feels like he's working on several things at once and always
He talks a LOT. definitely an infodumper
Either he's super stern or really giggly, there is no in between
He wears gloves in battle but not while doing surgery??? Does he just like organ textures??? Wacko
Special interest is obviously whatever the heck kinda of mad science he does
Here's a heavy medic headcanon I have: medic likes deep pressure hugs
Another special interest could be his birds
He's very spontaneous which makes me think AuDHD even more
Look how excited he gets when taking about the tumors in expiration date!
He got the organ stealing autism
Is it just me or does he fixate on baboon organs in particular???
Sniper:
I'm pretty sure all of you know why this man is autistic but I'm going to list some reasons here anyway
My main evidence tho are his Halloween voice lines: https://youtu.be/2WDljNAslys?si=JP25VOGGDWwwoCI7
Exhibit a, look how much he enjoys having an owl head
Exhibit b, lots of those voice lines make him sound really freakin' overstimulated
He probably wears the hat and shades for sensory reasons as well as because they look cool
Obviously the most socially reclusive of the mercs
I love his backstory where he learns he never felt like the other kids because he wasn't actually Australian, but what if he also didn't fit in with the other kids because he's autistic?
Also throwing rocks at people as a kid screams autism to me
No neurotypical would ever throw jars of his own piss at you either
I think he just wants to live in the woods somewhere and never come back to society and honestly that's based
I feel like he would be the type to bite his own arm when stressed (just like me fr šŸ˜­)
Extremely meticulous in following his own life rules (ie being professional and having standards, driving safely with the turn signal and everything)
Spy:
Ok just hear me out for this one
Smoking because stim reasons
He's literally and figuratively masking
He's very suave and probably really good with social things, but I feel like it looks like he's just practiced really hard, again MASKING
Who knows he might not even actually be French
Who collects photographic evidence for a ur mom joke
I see him as either being hypersensitive or hyper insensitive to pain depending on the day (his screams + "I do believe I'm on fire.")
Mad butterfly knife tricks as a stim? (Notice he couldn't help but fiddle with them even disguised as scout in meet the spy)
He sucks at dealing with relationships and that's one of the reasons he's a bad dad
He actually really cares about his team and you can see it especially in expiration date but he's not very good at expressing it
Do you think he wears the ski mask for sensory reasons too?
Probably has his suits tailored to not give him any sensory issues, which could be another reason he likes them so much
Believe me I could go on but I think this is enough to get my point across
THEY ARE ALL AUTISTIC >:00
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xiki-pupper Ā· 7 months ago
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I can understand how Shuro may be a frustrating character to some folks - in fact that is kinda what he is there for, narratively speaking. But it really gives me ick when people just wanna shit on him for "being awful/the worst/an asshole"
The way I see it, the dude is his own different flavor of Autism- repressed, conditioned, awkward, and forced to participate in high society, not to mention the culture clash - and he sees laios just being his own weirdo self and he hates it --- no, thats not it. I honestly don't think he hates laios; i truly believe he hates that Laios gets to be TRUE to himself, and he (shuro) Doesn't get to be.
And it's a feeling I can understand and sympathize and empathize with, as I have been on my own personal journey to try and un-mask and deconstruct and heal myself in a world that has made me feel broken my entire life
People scream "hypocrisy" as shuro sees the same traits between the touden siblings, and is attracted to one whilst hating the other - and yes, I can agree that it's a bit hypocritical, but yall are taking it at face value and not understanding where his feelings are coming from. Shuro doesn't hate laios because he has a special interest, shuro hates that his whole life, he has had to squash himself into a form-fitting box, behave as his family commands, and now he sees laios being free of expectation, just out here being a weirdo, and shuro is possibly feeling that frustrated grief that comes with the late diagnosed autistic situation of "I could have been happy, too, but no, *I* had to be the responsible one"
... at least, that's how I view it. Coz I myself have had those thoughts. And I know, it's NOT a good look for me to be out here admitting that I have felt this way, like for example, maybe I see someone else's struggle with anxiety, whether it's online or in real life, and I have this bitter thought to myself of "yeah, I have anxiety too, but *I* was still forced to be a responsible adult anyway" which makes me momentarily frustrated.
And before anyone jumps my ass about it, NO, I definitely DO NOT think that "if I had to suffer thru it, so should everyone else" that's NOT what I'm saying. But I AM saying that, there is a bitterness, when u see someone who is able to avoid a struggle that you had to endure - that bitterness is NOT thinking that everyone should suffer as I did, but me being bitter that *I had to* at all.
Does that make sense? Coz I really feel like Shuro just gets shit on because people think he's there to interrupt the Yuri and be mean to Laois, and I really feel that he's a whole ass person. And a somewhat melancholic one, at that. He makes me think of how I had to grow up Christian whilst being queer and undiagnosed Audhd my entire life, and I would be very very surprised to hear that a large chunk of dunmeshi fans didn't ALSO grow up this way, feeling broken and stupid and tired, forced to do things the "normal people" way, and then NOT understand how Shuro feels when he sees someone who is in a position to be mostly free of that...
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shannonsketches Ā· 5 months ago
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I don't usually talk about Goku but I feel like my little silly hours post has fallen into Media Analysis Territory, and I love me a Media Analysis, so I'm gonna talk about Goku (based on how Toriyama wrote him) under the cut, but the TL;DR is:
Goku (the way Toriyama has always written him) is just here to have a good time getting good, and the credit for his very potent (and distinctly passive) influence over people is squarely, "This Man Showed Up and Was Strange In A Way I Didn't Know People Were Allowed To Be" and That's It. That's Goku's Influence. Being a Freak on Main. Because sometimes that's all someone needs to start questioning their whole worldview.
Toei's Goku is "This beautiful man reshaped my life with his bare hands and I think about him every day"
Toriyama's Goku is "I was giving this guy a ride home and while we were waiting in a taco bell drive thru he said something so whimsical and unhinged that after I dropped him off I stayed up all night thinking about it and ended up watching the sunrise for the first time since I was like six years old and now I might take a roadtrip and get a tattoo"
anyway, MUCH longer analysis under the cut for interested parties (again, citing the manga specifically) because I love talking about storytelling
1) Yep! Piccolo credits Gohan for his change of heart
2) Yep! Krillin is credited for the androids redemption, by most of the cast and both 17 & 18 themselves
3) Meeting Goku is generally written as an Event that changes the course of someone's life because he is Distinctly Strange as a person. Vegeta said that Goku's influence made him Softer, and Piccolo said that Vegeta's growth is a result of having met Goku, which changed him. Both are Factually True Statements, as Vegeta would still be out and about doing space gangster shit if he'd not met Goku. 4) To that point, Goku's influence on people is extremely passive, not active. It's a running gag throughout all three titles that Goku is Largely Unaware that his non-combat actions affect other people (until he is told about it, is either confused or earnestly apologizes, and then does it again). He is constantly doing whatever he wants with little, if any, consideration for the consequences, and it's something he gets called out on in all three titles.
5) Goku's influence on Vegeta specifically is just existing as a living testament to how everything Vegeta's ever known is a Lie, including but not limited to the Super Saiyan legend (Goku's power and personality being so out of line with what Vegeta's been told about the Legendary Saiyan is what makes him start questioning the truth of it).
More importantly, all of the things Vegeta grew up understanding as weaknesses, Goku casually and consistently proves are strengths (love, trust, empathy, etc), which Gohan is not as influential about early on, because (as Vegeta points out) Gohan cannot access that strength yet except when he is consumed with fury, while Goku can do it with his Soft nature intact. Observing someone else be open hearted, while still managing to be secure and strong, often gives the observer permission to open up to that experiences as well, which is what eventually happened to Vegeta (and that observation is not only of Goku, of course, but seeing another Saiyan doing it was important when it came to Vegeta, who regularly used his heritage and rank as an excuse to not take the softer road. Vegeta undermines Goku's lineage with his soft Earth upbringing, but it doesn't change how strong he (or Gohan, or Trunks) is as a Saiyan, which puts Vegeta in a corner and forces him to either bite the bullet and start giving a shit on main or admit that it's not a Saiyan Thing or a Power Thing and he's just afraid to be attached to the people he's kicking and screaming about definitely not being attached to).
That's what the influence is, and why it matters. It's not Goku personally scratching his enemy's chin and giving them a cookie every time they opt out of murder. It's the simple act of being Happily and Unwaveringly Himself in plain view of people who didn't know that way of life was a viable option. And now that they do, they may or may not be willing to risk trying out for themselves, given the chance (which Vegeta did when Bulma offered him that choice, and ended up liking it so much that it freaked him out, because Goku is only an influence, not an instruction manual for how to live like that. That's the joke about him being the tool itself, and not the muscle or the mind to make it mean anything).
6) Goku doesn't just spare his enemies. It's worse than that. With rare exceptions, he actively works to avoid killing enemies, with the verbal purpose of wanting them to get stronger, so they can fight again, because he enjoys it. That always throws a Big Bad off, because it is an absolutely insane thing to say to someone who wants to kill you. Goku is usually upset when he has to kill someone -- but not because murder is Wrong, or that he's morally opposed at all -- it's because he thinks it's a waste of a fun rival.
The difference between sparing someone who hurt you out of moral superiority and sparing someone because you had a good time almost dying just now is very important to how unhinged Goku looks to his enemies (and his allies). Additionally: Sparing someone's life is a pretty important factor in how those characters continue to live when they expected not to, which is a very influential life event, for better or worse.
7) Most of the credit Goku gets for changing the ways of his enemies (in the manga) are from Dragon Ball, in which it was a very young Goku's spirit and determination that inspired his antagonists to live more like him (because Goku is and always has been very simple in his worldview, and doesn't hold a grudge. If you're a bad guy, stop doing that. You should try eating something instead. If you stop killing people we can fight more and it'll be more fun if neither of us dies. And he's still like that, and it's still confusing to everyone around him, because DB is a comedy at heart).
Krillin convinces Bulma in the Android saga to not destroying the androids early, because it gives them a common goal with Vegeta, since having a common goal is how everyone there became friends. He credits having to work together as the thing that changes enemies to allies (which was his experience with Vegeta on Namek, and his experience with Piccolo against the Saiyans), and just acknowledges that all of them met through Goku, which they did.
Roshi also does this in Dragon Ball, crediting Kami for the entire adventure and the fact that everyone became friends, because without the Dragon Balls, Goku and Bulma would have just stayed home that day and none of it would've ever happened.
8) Goku actively rejects credit in Super's manga (probably because the anime and the movies kept insisting he is superman doing Good and Just and Right in the world), as, again, he doesn't do any of it with the intention of Doing Good. And, again, the running gag throughout all three titles is Goku being Blissfully Unaware that his choices affect other people.
9) If Goku gets undue credit, it's largely from Toei and from fans of the anime/older movies, which constantly revised dialogue and added filler to give Goku credit for things Toriyama wrote him having nothing to do with.
Because the shows follow the manga's plot while still making it their mission to frame Goku as a Leading Man Action Hero, it adds up to a lot of weird plot gibberish, excessive padding, and nonsensical storytelling in order to frame Goku as Irrefutably Good, where he absolutely lacks any rigid sense of justice and morality in the manga. He's just out here having fun, and he gets mad when you play the game wrong (and hurt people he likes).
tl;dr part 2: Goku's influence over villains can be summarized by the vine of the guy in a mcdonalds pointing at a couple and going 'is this allowed??' but instead of a couple it's just Goku genuinely and truly having a wonderful time while being in extreme danger and it's mind-bending that someone like that can not only exist but also thrive
my post about gohan deserving more credit for Vegetaā€™s growth is going around again and my two braincells decided to say
ā€œBulma pried that door open, but Gohan wedged the crowbar in.ā€
ā€œWhat about Gokuā€
ā€œGoku is the crowbarā€
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welp-back-on-my-bs Ā· 4 months ago
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Obey me x AuDHD MC
Liveing in devildom- was so fucking hard at first. Especially about the first two weeks to month. Why?
You can't go home. Everything is differnt. All these fuckin people, or well demons are here. Sure they may be your special interest/have hyperfixated on them. But now- all was hell.
I fell like Mammon and Levi were the two easiest for you to get along with at first. I mean, Mammon is your caretaker for while you attend RAD, so he is gonna have to learn sooner or later. He knows how to care for you and protect you from other demons.
But Levi, you clicked with him on a DEEP Neurodivergent level. He even helps you find your comfort foods after a bit. You two just kinda hangout, gaming together or separately, or whatever you need to do. (Levi is so autistic coded holy fuck- add on all the brothers PTSD and there ya go :>)
Next brothers you clicked well with is Satan and Beel. Satan has allways been quite respectful of your boundaries and you are sure to do the same with him. He is your designated study buddy, since he won't distract you and will happily help of you have any questions. Even if he isn't doing anything, he likes that he can just read and you'll do your work until you need help.
Beel honestly eats whatever you don't like. He is the God of knowing what you will and won't like. He is also a good person if ya just need a good squish and to help get you grounded or to exorcize with. He is there for you, as long as you are there for him.
When it comes to Asmo, he is definately quite slow when it comes to picking up kn your needs. Bit when he does, he let's you hangout with him whenever or comes to hangout with you whenever. If he does your makeup, he checks to be sure you're ok with the texture of whatever he is doing, if not he will find somethjng that you like. He makes sure that you have gone trough with your hygiene routine and even will do it with you! He just wants you to feel amazing inside and out
Lucifer had definately had a hard time connecting well to Levi compared to the rest of his brothers (other than tantan-). So I do think he would still be one of the last for you to fully get that connection with. His strictness and unusual punishments definately didn't help your relationship. But when Levi and Mammon fuckin give him hell, and explain everything. It starts to click for him. He does some research, makes sure RAD has the ability to properly support yours (and Levis) education, and makes changes to provide what you need. He even makes sure you know of you need anything, all you have to do is ask. He may have chosen you, but he didn't know at the time all that that choice had entailed.
Belphie after the events, works his fuckin ass off to be sure you KNOW how sorry he is. But when you shake it off and just give him a broken 'I'm used to it'. He just- he is a little pissed ya know. He makes sure to put an effort into helping you out. He often is around you or Beel is. He dosent want anyone else to make the same choices he did. (He is also autistic, imo-)
Lord Divolo tought it interesting when you were selected as a human world representative. But, he was sure that he and Barbatos had the correct information on how to support you, and get you trough it. They did however, forget to mention it to anyone else, they got really busy. But there was catering from the human world at RAD and at the palace for you so you can get that bit of comfort of home. He made sure you also had good spaces to take tests and do assignments that wouldn't be used by anyone not permitted lest they be cursedā™”
Barbatos is your number two person to go to for supports. He may serve lord Diavolo, but he was also instructed and learned how to properly support you in any situation. He enjoys spending time with you, finding your way of thinking quite amusing and intriguing to say the least.
Simeon like allways treats you very well. He does also find it a little weird that he and a human are able to connect so well, but he is glad that he does with you. He even debates with himself on becoming your guardian angel.
Luke, the little dog, very much appreciates and adores you as an older sibling. Sure, the thibgs you do may be even weirder than the demons. But they have such earnestness to them that hecant help but look up to you.
Solomon very much is intrigued by you. He loves how doffernt you are from the normal person, and he feels much more relaxed. He is happy to teach and toutour you, figuring out easily what helps you learn the best.
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berylcups Ā· 5 months ago
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La Squadra x Reader: What makes them laugh
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CW: suggestive behavior (Melone being Melone), getting scared, food, spicy food, annoyed pets( no pets real or imaginary were harmed in this post), gamer rage, language barriers, minor DNI
Notes: some of the videos suggest may or may not be offensive to you or your morals (mostly referring to cart narcs and some Gi Joe PSAs) so please view at your own discretion and mental health in mind! This is a post made for funsies and not meant to harm in anyway. Humor is subjective and as someone with privilege but also is AuDHD there maybe somethings I overlooked. Just know that Beryl loves you all and cares about you all šŸ’œ Also regarding Prosciuttoā€¦he might be a little OOC. The only real humor I could see him having is like boomer humor or political humor but that is such a gross yucky subject and I want to keep this post as positive as possible. I hope I did him justice! I hope you enjoy either way! šŸ’œ Beryl
Risotto
What type of humor do they have?: dark humor/ jump scare reactions
How do they laugh?: he has a low deep rumble of a chuckle when he does laugh it almost sounds like an evil villainā€™s laughter. Itā€™s a little intimidating! But donā€™t tell him that we want him to laugh more! šŸ–¤
Anything you do make them laugh?: anytime something makes you jump he canā€™t help but let out a chuckle. Whether someone shows up in your line of sight suddenly and it startles you, or a loud noise makes you scream like a crack of lightning.
You were in the kitchen of the base sneaking a piece of a cake, you knew nobody else was home so you could easily steal the last piece of strawberry cake. You felt so evil, you couldnā€™t help but giggle to yourself!
As soon as you took a forkful and put it near your mouth, a flash of lightning struck and you felt a massive hand on your shoulder with hot breath on your neck.
ā€œā€¦thatā€™s the last pieceā€¦I hope you plan on sharing it Y/Nā€¦ā€ you heard a deep voice rumble.
The pure rush of adrenaline jolted through you like the lightning outside and you jumped up, dropping the plate and letting out the most high pitched pathetic screech. The plate shattered all over the kitchen floor completely ruining the cake.
ā€œDamn it Risotto! Donā€™t scare me like that!ā€ You whined. ā€œStop being invisible and show yourself!ā€
He chuckled as he revealed himself, he had a rare shit eating grin on his face.
ā€œSorryā€¦ I really couldnā€™t help myself. It was the perfect opportunity to get you like that.ā€ He snickered as rubbed your head.
ā€œSighā€¦Iā€™m happy that you are enjoying yourself. But I almost peed myself and I dropped a perfectly good piece of cake.ā€ You whined.
ā€œWell I hate to say it but karma is a bitch. Thatā€™s what happens when you try to sneak off with the last piece.ā€ He smirked as he got out the broom and dust pan.
ā€œAnd I would have gotten away with it too if it wasnā€™t for you being a creeper.ā€ You huffed.
What types of videos make them laugh?: jumpscare reactions- especially if itā€™s older people playing the scary maze. He thinks itā€™s hilarious! But he feels bad when he sees little kids get scared, thatā€™s not funny to him šŸ˜ž any kid age 12+ though is fine with him- itā€™s time for them to grow up šŸ˜ˆ
Any examples?: nothing specific- look for videos of people getting tricked into getting jump scared šŸ˜… like scary maze, the video of the car driving down through the hills, FNAF, etc.
Formaggio
What type of humor do they have?: funny memes/ voice over parodies
How do they laugh?: he starts off with a goofy low deep chuckle then as it progresses it turns into a roaring laughter where heā€™s gasping and holding his stomach. Very infectious šŸ¤­
Anything you do make them laugh?: This guy is all giggles! Itā€™s never hard to make him laugh. But his favorite thing is when you reference his favorite videos.
ā€œHey hey hey~! Get off the counter Asiago!ā€ You scolded the cat. The grey furball turned its butt at you and continued to prance across the counter. ā€œOh? Weā€™re playing this game huh? Donā€™t make me give you a body massage~ā€¦ā€
ā€œWho wants a body massage?ā€you asked in a deep voice, picking up the cat off the counter before she could escape.
ā€œMister body massage machine GOā€ you aggressively rubbed the cats belly.
ā€œPfft hey~! Whereā€™s my body massage?ā€ He laughed watching you playfully manhandle the cat.
ā€œMake me some pork chop sandwiches and maybe zaddy will give ya a body massage!ā€ You struggled to say through your giggling.
The cat was fed up with both of your guys bullshit and jumped out of your arms and ran off hissing.
What types of videos make them laugh?: GI Joe PSAs, Jaboody Dubs- he loves silly voice overs of his favorite American cartoons. Taking them out of context and rewriting the dialogue makes him want to piss himself from laughter.
Any examples?: Pork Chop Sandwiches! Iā€™m a computer, stop all the downloading!
Illuso
What type of humor do they have?: ā€œnailed it ā€œ humor
How do they laugh?: He laughs just as obnoxiously as he does in the dub. Its very unflattering and he sounds like a hyena. Despite that, itā€™s very contagious!
Anything you do make them laugh?: when you tried to make cute rainbow cupcakes and all the colors bled together making it look like an absolute disaster. The icing melted and the rainbow candy wouldnā€™t retain its rainbow shape...Its just a sugary sticky mess.
ā€œHa-Nice job. Very well done.ā€ Illuso snickered. ā€œIt looks like a leprechaun vomited all over your cake pan!ā€ he howled.
ā€œIt looks so fucking miserable! Did you even try???ā€ he cackled. ā€œNext time, leave the baking to me!ā€
ā€œOh fuck off Lulu.ā€you groaned, rubbing your temples in frustration. ā€œAnytime I pintrest anything, it always-ALWAYS goes wrong.ā€
He wiped the tears from his face as he tried to calm himself down from his high.
ā€œHey, heyā€¦ Calm down Y/N. Baking is very fickle. Iā€™ll help you out next time. You did the best you could. Trial and error is unfortunately part of the baking processā€ he said rubbing your back.
ā€œI just really wanted some cute tasty cupcakesā€¦ā€you pouted.
ā€œI could tell. You didnā€™t let the cupcakes cool long enough before you put the icing on them. That's why it melted right off.ā€ he stuck a finger in one of the cakes and tasted the frosting. ā€œMmmā€¦still tastes good though. Lets just eat them anyway. Ugly cake is still good cake.ā€
.
What types of videos make them laugh?: ā€œNailed itā€ show, parkour/stunt fails, live tv bloopers/ fails, makeup fails
Any examples?: grape lady falls
Pesci
What type of humor do they have?: cute animal humor
How do they laugh?: he tries to hold back his laughs but fails with an adorable snort. He has a giggle that sounds like pure joy from an angel. šŸ˜‡ Itā€™s a big belly laugh and itā€™s hard not to laugh along with him. Hearing his laugh is always going to put you in a good mood! šŸ˜
Anything you do make them laugh?: when you panic and freak out holding an upset octopus that you accidentally caught while fishing.
ā€œlil guppy~! Put down the camera and help me~! Ow ow ow!ā€ You squealed trying to pry to the angry octopuses suction cups off of you.
ā€œMy poor precious pearl! Donā€™t worry! Iā€™ll help you!ā€ He quickly took a few more pictures of your scuffle with the cephalopod and walked over to gently but firmly pull the tentacles off your face and chest.
He wrangled the fuming octopus and gently but swiftly removed the hook from it. He then he quickly dropped it back into its home in the sea.
ā€œOh thank godā€¦ Thank you Pesci. Youā€™re my hero!ā€ You sighed in relief and rubbed the sore spots the suction cups left.
. ā€œYouā€™re very welcome Y/N. Iā€™m just thankful youā€™re okay. You werenā€™t in any real danger. Octopus encounters are just really uncomfortable.ā€ Pesci looks at you and your red splotches, making a gentle giggle.
ā€œWhatā€™s so funny??ā€ You whined, putting hands on your hips. You were annoyed he was laughing after a moment like this but knowing how kind he was youā€™d give him a moment to explain himself.
ā€œThe octopus gave you a bunch of welts making it look like you have polka dots!ā€ He laughed light-heartedly. ā€œ you poor thing, Iā€™ll have to give you some cream to help your irritated skin.ā€
ā€œSighā€¦ Iā€™m so accident prone. Maybe it was a bad idea to join you on your fishing trips.ā€ You pouted.
ā€œNo! Not at all!ā€ He said, giving you a big reassuring hug . ā€œ I love having you with me! I want you to come with me all the time!ā€¦only if you want to of course.ā€
ā€œIā€™d love too.ā€ You smiled. ā€œAs long as I donā€™t catch anymore angry octopi.ā€ You softly giggled.
What types of videos make them laugh?: he loves watching cat and dog videos of them being silly and doing goofy things! He has a wholesome sense of humor.
Any examples?: Today I groomed a new species | the weirdest cat ever. Cat barking like dog. Dog of wisdom
Prosciutto
What type of humor do they have?: instant karma
How do they laugh?: he has a deep, rich laughter. It sounds very indulgent. It starts out with a mild wheeze then a chuckle that rumbles out of his chest. He has a habit to put a hand to his forehead and shake his head before he really starts laughing. If you have a voice kink his laughter might make you start acting unwise šŸ˜³
Anything you do make them laugh?: it has nothing to do with his type of humor but you underestimate something. You were weak to heat but you thought you could handle some of Prosciuttos pasta arrabiata. Youā€¦ couldnā€™t handle it at all.
You were having lunch with your beloved partner. You were eating Gnocchi Sorrentina and he had Pasta Arrabiata. It looked so good and smelled good too. You wanted a taste.
ā€œHey Prosci, let me have a bite of your pasta pretty please? It looks sooo good!ā€ You said trying not to drool.
ā€œHmm?ā€ He raised an eyebrow. ā€œIā€™m more than happy to share amore, but itā€™s very spicy. I know you donā€™t do well with spicy foodsā€¦ are you sure you want to try it?ā€ He asked.
ā€œI know Iā€™m weak to spice but it canā€™t be THAT spicy. Your nose isnā€™t even running and you're not sweating! I can handle it!ā€ You reassured him. ā€œMay I have just a bite please?ā€
He seemed a little wary but he took a forkful and guided it towards your mouth.
ā€œOkay amore. Here you go. Open up.ā€ He said bring the fork closer to your lips.
You opened your mouth happily inviting the food into your mouth. You chewed as you felt your senses overcome you. Perfectly al dente pasta and a delicious tomato sauce tantalizing your taste buds.
ā€œOh my~! Prosci itā€™s so goo-ā€œan unsettling sensation overcame your mouth. You felt your nose get runny and the sweat begin to form on your skin. The heat in your mouth has made itself known. You could feel it in all your soft tissues, your throat, and even your teeth!
ā€œSo..so hot!ā€ You panicked. You jump up from your chair and scramble to the sink to drink water directly from the tap.
Prosciutto wheezed and let a hearty laugh out of his chest.
ā€œI told you it was going to be spicy Y/N!ā€ He wheezed.
ā€œI didnā€™t think it was going to be THAT spicy!ā€ You gargled. ā€œAhh~ the pain wonā€™t stop!ā€
ā€œDrink milk amore. Fats neutralize the capsaicin.ā€ He chucked as watched.
You slammed open the fridge and grabbed the milk and drank straight from it, not caring it was for Pesci. Youā€™d buy him a new one. You drank the rest of the leftover milk panting hard.
ā€œFeel better?ā€ He asked.
ā€œ Yeahā€¦ the pain is gone. But now Iā€™m going to have to worry about my lactose intolerance laterā€¦ā€ you panted. ā€œI owe Pesci a new milk jug.ā€
ā€œWeā€™ll worry about that when we come to it.ā€ He said kissing your forehead.
What types of videos make them laugh?: anything to do with instant karma or people getting what they deserveā€¦ he looks like heā€™d enjoy public freakouts/karens getting what they deserve šŸ˜‚
Any examples?: nothing specific, maybe CartNarcs? Heā€™d like watching people messing with others and then they end up failing at their pranks or they end up getting served šŸ˜…
Melone
What type of humor do they have?: ā€œThatā€™s what she said ā€œ/ dirty minded humor & video game humor
How do they laugh?: he starts with a giggle and has a somewhat feminine light laugh. Itā€™s very attractive
Anything you do make them laugh?: when you get frustrated playing video games and falling at them. šŸ˜…
You were sitting in front of the tv frustrated. You KNOW if you did enough backwards long jumps in rapid succession you could get through the endless stairs and to the final fight with bowser.
ā€œUghā€¦ come on! Itā€™s soooo hard!ā€ You moaned in frustration.
ā€œThatā€™s what she said.ā€ Melone snickered as he watched you helplessly try to glitch your way up the stairs.
ā€œUgh shut it Mel.ā€ You hissed.
You kept trying and tryingā€¦ no success. Your hands were beginning to cramp up.
ā€œAaah~! My hands! Theyā€™re cramping! Finish already!ā€ You bitched.
ā€œThatā€™s what she said~.ā€ He giggled louder.
ā€œMelone! Not right now!ā€ You barked.
ā€œNow now Y/Nā€¦ itā€™s just a game ~ā€ he waved his finger at you.
You got so close, but your hands cramped up and spasmed. You had enough and threw your controller to the side.
ā€œWELL FUCK ME SIDEWAYS!ā€ You screeched. ā€œ I give up!ā€
ā€œThat can be arranged ~ā€ he purred while rubbing your shoulders. ā€œ Calm down Y/N, itā€™s just a gameā€¦ if you want you can take frustration out on me if you know what I mean ~.ā€ He said kissing the shell of your ear.
ā€œSigh. ok, fine.ā€ You giggled. ā€œ You always know how to put me in a better mood.ā€
What types of videos make them laugh?: video game glitches, bad video game hacks
Any examples?: streamers or lets-players: ex: Vargskelethor, Vinesauce, Jerma, (my top 3 personally!) or overly popular YTubers like Pewdiepie, Markiplier, etcā€¦
Ghiaccio
What type of humor do they have?: typos/ illiteracy/ misheard words
How do they laugh?: he always tries to hold his laughs in a ā€œPffftā€ if itā€™s really funny he wheezes before he laughs hard holding his ribs. Itā€™s rare but he does laugh!
Anything you do make them laugh?: when you struggle to roll your Rā€™s and say an Italian word but in the wrong way.
ā€œGhia~ can you bring me the pene for the pasta salad?ā€ You asked, chopping the vegetables.
ā€œPffft what did you say?ā€ He asked holding back a chuckle.
ā€œYou know! The pene pasta! The tube shaped pasta with the tip at the ends!ā€ You said trying to be more specific.
ā€œI have a pene but not pene PASTA.ā€ He wheezed. ā€œWe have PENNE pasta.ā€
ā€œUh duh! Thatā€™s what I just said! Whatā€™s gotten into you today?ā€ You huffed grabbing the bowl of pasta out of his hands.
ā€œY/Nā€¦ Pene and Penne are two ENTIRELY DIFFERENT things.ā€ He chuckled while wiping a tear from his eye.
ā€œThey sound the same! You just say the N a microsecond longer. It canā€™t be THAT funny! So tell me what Iā€™ve been saying!ā€ You whined
ā€œCock pasta. You said you were making cock pasta. Not very appetizing if you ask me. Penne is what you want to say- that means pen. Hence the pen shape of the pasta.ā€ He snickered.
ā€œSo thatā€™s why all the guys were laughing at me when I was raving about pasta arrabiata with penne?! And you didnā€™t fucking tell me???ā€ You screeched.
The blue haired man crumpled into a laughing mess gripping his sides. ā€œYou canā€™t blame me for that fuck up! It was a perfect Language barrier!ā€
What types of videos make them laugh?: misheard lyrics and song parodies, Bone-app-the-teeth type compilations
Any examples?: how is prangent formed? Curse of the weggy board
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rnp5324 Ā· 2 months ago
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Tell me about your wolverine headcanons NOW šŸ™šŸ”„šŸ’„
HEE HEE HEE....HAHAHAHAHAHA I've got plenty (Some of these apply to my Logan too) ā•ā•ā•ā• ā‹†ā˜…ā‹† ā•ā•ā•ā• 1. Due to his time under Weapon X, Logan still contains some robotic mannerisms, especially when scanning for nearby threats. I like to imagine his face becoming stiff and expressionless, while his head rotates like a wall mounted security camera; He does it unconsciously. 2. He likes to cuss people out in different languages under his breath. I mean, the man knows like what, 18? He'll find one that somebody doesn't know in case they hear him. I also envision him using his knowledge for different code words he'd teach his teammates to give them special commands, def stems from his military work. 3. Logan likes to listen to Oldies, and Rock/Metal. It's an...interesting blend. Depends on his mood, really. He doesn't mind a nice classical jazz to wind down after a long days of work o spending time with his partners, otherwise Metal has been a healthier way to vent out his frustrations. 4. Absolutely has some animalistic quirks. Like, he purrs when he's close to his partner. He growls, snarls, roars, the whole package. He shakes like a wet dog. He cocks his head to his shoulder when he's confused about something (also like a dog (I have a bias)). He absolutely runs on all 4s in battles/climbing. Yes, he bites, and not in the hickey way. If you ask him to bite your neck, he will take a chunk with him. 5. Despite being totally left brained, he knows how to do calligraphy for meditation (something he picked up more frequently from Kikyo). He can also be kinda poetic when he feels like it, his penmanship is surprisingly good and he can write in cursive when he's focused. He's not wrong when he says he's an art teacher!! 6. Logan's sense of humor can get really grotesque. This is most likely due to his desensitization towards violence, which unfortunately, freaks most people out. A chunk of his humor is usually derived at his own expense. 7. He's always known he's Bi, he just doesn't bother telling anyone about it unless they ask. Logan thinks in the grand scheme of things, saving the world from threats is more important than who he shares a room with. 8. I made a poll about this, but I believe Logan has some type of Neurodivergence (I have AUDHD lemme cook). He def struggles with PTSD from, well, a lot of things in his life. I also like to think he has some sort of ADHD? Not just for having hyperfixations for Japan, Military machinery/weapons, animals, etc., but also the mood swing aspect of it too; Maybe it's just me, but I find Logan's angry impulse kinda relatable to my experiences? Also how he frequently forgets things. Just like me fr.... 9. Logan's body is able to insulate himself from extremely cold weather, due to his Mutation being based off of a Wolverine. This...also makes him hot easily during the warmer months of the year, and he much prefers the cold. He'll ask storm for a little snow cloud over his head every once and awhile. 10. Being so old, Logan uses a wide variety of slang from all sorts of time periods, which he has to explain to his teammates a lot so it can get pretty annoying. This also extends to his game, his old time flirts can be kind of confusing to their meaning, therefor not landing too well most of the time. 11. Despite being a grouchy old man, he is an anxious sweetheart!! Logan will pour his heart out on the people he loves, but the anxiety comes with how almost all of his relationships historically end in either tragedy or in a horrific fallout, meaning he's rather hesitant to getting into a relationship right away.
ā•ā•ā•ā• ā‹†ā˜…ā‹† ā•ā•ā•ā•
TYSM for the ask!! ^^ omg I wish people would send me more of these, I absolutely love doing them!!!
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am-i-the-asshole-official Ā· 10 months ago
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Am I the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend?
I (32F) broke up with my boyfriend Jack (30M) a few months ago over a couple Issues I've been dealing with: I found out I have a degenerative issue with my eyes and will be going blind, and his dad hates me for being as he quotes "fat, uneducated, and bad with jobs". Note: I am infact obese, I do not have a college degree, and had lost my job 3 times in a row in 6mos before I hit the stable job I'm at now, due to mental breakdowns at work.
Jack has lived with his parents his whole life, and revers them greatly. However I can tell he's going through the same thing I did with my parents- Where they prioritized him getting good grades over his mental health, he constantly apologizes and thinks I will hate and abandon him over very simple things, he rather delve in games than face his problems, because he thinks he is comfortable when it's very much making him feel worse.
I cut contact with my parents 3 years ago for these exact same reasons- They were overbearing, abusive, and without another way to say it: extremely catholic. Because I was financially dependent on them and didn't know any better, I thought I could live with them as an adult because of how expensive housing is where we live.
Eventually I had to start getting therapy because I would have meltdowns so often in school, and found out it was the way that my parents treated me when I was younger, and that I have AuDHD- something my parents denied as me being too stupid and lazy to do anything after high school.I got on medication and though my ADHD improved, i had to continue therapy due to my Autism now having more time to focus and overwhelm me and having to learn to unmask. I've been told my personality did a 180 over this from peers that hadn't seen me pre-pandemic, but I'm happier now, and eventually found a way to move away from my parents and living with my Uncle instead, who instead of belittling me is encouraging my therapy.
I am explaining this, because Jack does the same things I do- he's almost the exact same as I was with my parentls. He has constant meltdowns and spirals, he thinks he's worthless because of the way his Mom and Dad treats him, yet he keeps putting his parents on a pedestal. It's because we seemed to grow up in the same kinds of environment that we bonded and eventually started dating last year.
Us openly dating did not last long, though, because when he introduced me to his parents they immedietely did not like me. They did not like that I wanted to help with dinner, or refuse eating chicken, because Jack is severely allergic to it. They also did not like that I wanted to clean the table and kept sidelooking at me whever we talked.
Because of this simple lunch, for months, they pressured him to break up with me but he wouldn't. He said he loves me as I am, and his parents are just stupid. We even had to start keeping the relationship secret, because his parents would harass him for coming to just pick me up, or meet me at a tennis court so we would play a game or two. His parents can track him through his car, so they always knew where he was.
I told him what I had to do to leave my parents house, but he said it's too hard to do that. My Uncle was sympathetic about this and even discussed with him to move into our house, but he refused that too.
Last month, I went to a vision doctor due to headaches and blurrier than usual vision, and found out that I would be losing my eyesight due to something going on within my eyes. Its extremely stressful for me, and dealing with that, and the constant harassment from Jacks parents, I got very tired. it was getting to the point where he couldnt go out without his parents yelling at him about me for something, we only hung out for once day per month. I didn't want to give them something else to yell about me at him, and I felt it would ease his stress because they would stop bothering him. And, though it seems weird, I hoped it make him uncomfortable enough to do something for himself. So I ended up breaking up with him.
It has really hurt to do this to him- He's someone I love dearly, and he's taken it way harder than I thought. He won't listen to me, But. He does listen to his friends- it's how he asked me out, and at least try out therapy, his friends hyped him up about it so he did it. I feel if his friends help him realize what he needs to do, he'll be more inclined to help himself than me just telling him. And if not, his friends are still there to back him up than me staying near him and having his parents harass him about it.
His friends are mad at me though, and told me I should have just put up with his parents, because in the end I am in love with him and that I actually made the whole situation worse, because he has loss motivation. Even though I am still talking to him and still there for him alongside his friends- I just make myself scarce so his parents don't know we talk. Am I the asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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sciderman Ā· 8 months ago
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
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peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
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it's a similar case i've found for myself, too ā€“Ā where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said ā€œoh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.ā€#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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swagcoolcat Ā· 5 months ago
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So starting this post off by saying Iā€™m an AuDHD Michael truther and an autistic Jeremy truther and this post is about those headcanons.
SO
In my eyes, Jeremy is unaware that heā€™s autistic. Jeremyā€™s dad, while I do believe he tries his best, wouldnā€™t- in my eyes- think to look into Jeremyā€™s behaviors. Perhaps Jeremyā€™s dad is also autistic so he wouldnā€™t even realize Jeremyā€™s behaviors are different from the norm. Or perhaps if heā€™s not, he just thinks itā€™s a kid/teenager thing that Jeremy may eventually grow out of. Or perhaps he thinks thatā€™s just how Jeremy is (which like- it IS but I mean he doesnā€™t think thereā€™s any reason for it).
Jeremyā€™s mom I also donā€™t think would try to get him a diagnosis. Based on what little we do know about her, it seems pretty unlikely.
Michael, however, I think is aware that heā€™s autistic at least, and perhaps of his ADHD as well. Even if Michael isnā€™t diagnosed, I think heā€™s looked into it enough that he knows, but I also think his moms would be open to diagnosis for him to get him the support he would need.
With these two ideas together, I think it adds to their differing arcs in the musical.
Jeremy knows heā€™s weird. Jeremy knows heā€™s a loser. Jeremy knows he doesnā€™t fit in. But he doesnā€™t know why. Itā€™s not as if he hasnā€™t tried, but he doesnā€™t understand what his problem is, so he doesnā€™t know how to fix it. Then the SQUIP comes in, and while it doesnā€™t explicitly state Jeremy is autistic in the show, I think it knows, and it also knows that for Jeremy to ā€œbe more chillā€ he needs to come across as ā€œnormalā€ or non-autistic. It doesnā€™t explain to Jeremy what itā€™s doing in that regard. It just does it.
Contrast that with Michael. Michael has his issues with being a social outcast, but heā€™s gotten to the point where heā€™s somewhat accepted it. Michael knows heā€™s weird, he knows heā€™s a loser, and he knows he doesnā€™t fit in, just like Jeremy, but the difference is he also knows why. He understands that his differences are a part of who he is, and itā€™s not worth it to sacrifice that just to fit in.
I think about it in lines such as ā€œMichael thinks that weird is rad, but feeling weird just makes me sadā€ - Michael embraces his differences because theyā€™re HIM, but Jeremy doesnā€™t understand his differences and wants to change them so he can finally fit in.
Or ā€œ[You] donā€™t care about being popular.ā€ ā€œOf course I care! I just know itā€™s never gonna happen.ā€ ā€œSo you resent me because I didnā€™t give up like you did?ā€ ā€œI donā€™t resent you. Iā€™m jealous you try.ā€ ā€œWell Iā€™m jealous you donā€™t.ā€ - Jeremy wishes it was as easy for him to embrace being different as it seems to be for Michael, but how hard must it be to embrace your differences when you donā€™t understand them? On the other side though, Michael, while having accepted his own social status as a loser, does wish it was as easy for him as it seems to be for Jeremy to move up in the social hierarchy.
Then I think about how Jeremy sees Christine (who I also HC as AuDHD but only aware of the ADHD which she got diagnosed with as a kid) being SQUIPed, and he sees her differences being suppressed, and he immediately sacrifices his own wellbeing to save her. He knows sheā€™s not herself. He fell in love with the Christine thatā€™s weird and different, not the neurotypical Christine thatā€™s being placed in front of him. I imagine seeing what the SQUIP does to her would play a big part in him learning to accept himself post musical.
I also think this experience would help him eventually learn of his own autism. Perhaps heā€™d seek a diagnosis, or perhaps heā€™d stick with his self-diagnosis.
I donā€™t know I love interpreting characters as autistic and seeing the ways it can affect them in canon.
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vermillioncrown Ā· 3 months ago
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This is going to be a huge post because you've picked up so much of what we put down I'm just šŸ„°šŸ„¹
@sunshinerotting replied to your post ā€œ(@rozaceous) dpnf ch 11: housebrokenā€:
will be rereading immediately but i love your guysā€™ characters very much and the way you write the canon characters makes so much sense. the way the people in that house interact with each other is so interesting to me because if tim was actually the normal boy he thinks he is the entire balance would be thrown off. no one else couldā€™ve done what he does in that dynamic. theyā€™re like a jigsaw puzzle to me. i have more thoughts give me a sec
thank you so much! roz and i keep joking that this fic is now an au of an au of an au of an au... and on and on, and then it's like. what makes this still a fic and not a fully original setting and work? we had to sell readers on a lot, that these characters (outside of our SIs) were still some flavor of canon. especially, "who is the core of tim drake?" and yeah, he's so not fucking normal. but he's not obviously wacky, either.
ā€‹out of order now i donā€™t remember chapter numbers: when jason showed up like a huge asshole i texted my friend about it. very much ā€œhe WOULD fucking do that but by god is it PISSING ME OFFā€ and it was!! love that genuinely. might not be what was intended but i do think he IS odd and sad and unable to move through the cycle of grief fully enough to show back up like a haunting and not expect it to get to allie like that. zero ability to understand how loved he is. 10/10 more...
GAH to know you texted abt our fic!!!! šŸ„¹šŸ„¹šŸ„¹ best praise tbh. and the second sell: how is jason an asshole but worth rooting for later? or at least, allowed into the enclosure lol. we might not have had it summarized as neatly as you did, but roz and i are in full agreement you Read jason here. that's exactly what we wanted, that's so much of what we take from his character in various canons.
allie reminds me of a bobcat which feels weird to say but sheā€™s so nonthreatening outwardly and she minds her business but the second someone steps in on her people itā€™s like Oh. oh right. teeth and claws. when jason showed back up i felt so much for her. there was no way for her to move. korvin acts in ways similar to me, which i will examine on my own time and not in your comments. i do love how everyone in this house has their own preferred flavor of Avoidance
you also have such a read on allie, i love it. i'll leave her to roz but i'll say my piece that i sometimes get bummed that korvin's so obviously wacky + a lot of gender stuff at play (the audience/demographic of ff readers, we live in a society and all that) that make more ppl focus on korvin over allie whereas they're both equally wack. and korvin's behavior makes the most sense when taken as a convoluted male re-socialization of someone initially female-socialized but rewarded in a male-dominated space. AND both of them are AuDHD, word of god putting that out there. add on the isekai brainworms, and yeah, isekai is just an extended analogy for masking ā†’ hence the different flavors of avoidance
tim is somehow the most well-adjusted in this regard, before jason shows up maybe, and thats so crazy. tim drake. Tim Drake ????comparatively well-adjusted to anyone ??? i know iā€™m forgetting something so iā€™ll come back but writing that down genuinely through me off a little bit. lol
you also recognize that jason ranks above tim in "well-adjusted" here, god, how does it feel to be so correct. and tim is well-adjusted here! he's never had to be a vigilante! but he's also much lonelier than in canon. something that made retrospective sense while we were writing is that he fell out of liking ball sports (despite not being a desk nerd) is that...who does he have to enjoy them with in this au?
threw not through. anyway I FORGOT ABOUT RUTABAGA. I AM SO SORRY RUTABAGA. the amount of love between the characters is so important to me bc itā€™s always there no matter how fucked the bats are about showing it normally. the brownstone does end up feeling like a safe space like it somehow feels so easy most of the time and then when tangential forces (sorry dick) show up itā€™s like the air changes. but allie and korvin and tim all have such Personalities its insane it works out like that.
RUTIE BEST GIRL, forgiven lol. YES YES YES there is so much love and it's like, the love doesn't stop you from doing the work. the bats are so fucked up, and we only get a glimpse of dick and korvin's relationship where you can see the maladapted consequences on both of their parts, dick not being fully equipped to "raise" korvin and korvin wanting to be easy/convenient for dick. and korvin's deep-seated not-abandonment issues tied with family and cultural trauma/burden.
(i still stand by the "good older brother dick grayson" tag, he's just. oh there's a lot. if you read between the lines there's so much being implied for TPAC)
but having allie in this 'verse, allie and korvin together ground each other. that's why they're so co-dependent in the beginning (it's healthier at the end), that's why they still had the wherewithal to seek an outside friend, and yes, that is why the brownstone is like that. their place that they made with their own hands.
obviously jason was an issue initially (it felt redundant to write that sentence) but heā€™s such a necessary part of them by being 1) necessary to allie and 2) the catalyst allie and korvin needed to end up where they are. i do think ppl that important to each other need one big unavoidable conflict to avoid stagnation like obviously he was a necessary part of the story but he was a Necessary Part Of The Story. does this make sense?? four strand braid.
AND YES DUDE you literally. we were writing this and we had the vibe, but we literally did not articulate it to each other until the very end that jason's actually necessary to make all of them normal. i love everything you're saying about needing one unavoidable conflict to resolve. he is part of a four strand braid. it's so strong. it's critical. korvin still finds jason annoying and vice versa. and yet they'd both say the household contains all of them by the end.
i just like that they start off alone and end up together. thatā€™s my thing. jigsaw puzzle. polycule of all time. i canā€™t think of a way in which another person would ever get that close to them the dynamics are so perfect to me. every need is accounted for. its like a perfect little box in my mind. i think thats it for now lol iā€™m happy you guys write together. not just bc i love it but also bc itā€™s so clear u guys have fun doing it and that makes me happy <3
WE MADE IT. it's one thing to prescribe "hey guys this is a polycule" but selling it? the logistics of a polycule? not so easy, and it has to be tailored to the situation and characters. not all of them are romantically/sexually involved, nor do they have straight-forward relationships (hence, qpr), so having you say it fits and they seem seamless is like. top tier praise. coherence, it's everything we've aimed for.
thank you for all of your thoughts! we do have tons of fun and that's why we love sharing what we have! and we hope to keep doing projects like this, or we'll just be at each other's side while we work on our individual fics.
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spicymotte Ā· 6 months ago
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How fandom culture killed my creativity
hi. I have some thoughts about my time in a huge fandom and how it changed me:
First of all, I would like to say that these are my personal experiences in a large anime fandom. I have made very good friends with whom I am still in contact today - and I was exposed to a kind of brain rot that has changed the way I deal with art forever. However, this does not apply to every fandom/every person.
this - essay? - is way longer than I thought it would be. More under the cut:
In 2020, after a long break, I was able to get excited about One Piece again. Until then, I had always considered art important to me and I had never been able to do it professionally. (maybe someday...!)
The One Piece fandom is huge. There are now over 1000 manga chapters and anime episodes, which is gigantic; and the fandom itself is just as huge: millions of fans love this manga/anime and exchange ideas about it on the internet. I was previously very limited to tumblr, but then I ventured into OPtwt, the One Piece community on Twitter. There is a lot of fan art, fan fiction and small cliques that like the same character. There is something for everyone. It was great! I had a hyperfixation phase on OP before, in 2017. Now it came back - so violently that I realized very quickly that I could hardly think of anything else but One Piece.
Hyperfixations involve two major factors: an intense obsession with a character (or theme/media/whatever), which often brings with it a bottomless well of inspiration and motivation for artists ā€“ and a strange influence on brain chemistry. Neurodivergent people are prone to difficulties with the release of happiness and rewarding hormones anyway, and even though I am in no way qualified to make grand statements, as a person living with AuDHD, hyperfixations are both a blessing and a curse.
Often, the neurodivergent niches in the fandom communities are very lively. On extremely interactive social media like Twitter, TikTok and Instagram, you are flooded with posts of fan art, discussions and also escalation. It quickly becomes stressful for the brain to keep up with it - especially if you manage to accumulate a large number of followers. (also a blessing and a curse!)
I started posting fanart and OC x canon in 2020. I spent most of the last three years on Twitter and I have to say that it set me back in some ways. At first, I was slow to get to know people through fanart, but then I got to know people very quickly: fellow artists that I am still good friends with today and, unfortunately, people who have also succumbed to an incredible, destructive brainrot. I had chosen a character (or rather, my brain did) who plays almost no role in One Piece. All the better, so I pretty much had him to myself and I could do whatever I wanted. The OC x canon community is generally very friendly and respectful, so I found quite a few people who liked what I drew. Cool!
And then it started. With fanart and a small fan club for my OCs, I got more followers and more likes. More retweets and comments, more notifications. The algorithm started to like me and the growth increased steadily. My fandom (OP) account grew, as did my reach.
I checked Twitter more and more. Every free second I took my smartphone in my hand and checked my notifications. I reloaded the page until I had a new notification. I repeated this on Instagram and tumblr. Sometimes I catch myself doing it today, even though I haven't been active in this fandom for over a year!
Likes were good, retweets better. Every notification of an interaction with my art was a push on the feel-good button in my brain. It's very addictive, even if I talked myself out of it at first. The pandemic was at its peak and the internet was the only way to meet friends anyway. All this shit was fast food for my brain.
Then I started drawing fanarts, even though I didn't feel like it. But the likes had to come from somewhere, didn't they? I drew favorites from manga, characters that I didn't even like that much myself. But they were popular, so that promised likes and reach! Every single day, really every day, I drew fanarts. I was disappointed with myself if I didn't.
As of today, my two One Piece art folders have 80GB of data in it! what the fuck!! That's not normal!
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I learned a lot during that time and was able to develop my art. I was able to participate in projects, to draw for several zines and also had a lot of fun ā€“ but I treated it like a job. Making fan art your job is very difficult ā€“ and has a lot of consequences. If you run a merch shop (as I did for a short time), you always have to follow the hype and draw what's in style. You switch fandoms because the hype has just burned out and the next new thing is already in style. If you're one of the first to offer keychains and stickers - or plushies - you make the big money. That brings profit, but in my opinion you can very quickly step on the wrong foot in this jumping around and slip into burnout. (Or stagnate to such an extent that you lose all motivation to refine your artistic skills and become better at your craft.)
I see friends of mine, many of them, who are trying to live off of fandom merch. They all have one thing in common: their skills in art have remained absolutely the same over the past few years or have even declined. If you have to churn out a new batch of merchandise every week, you have to cut corners. There is no time for experiments and crazy studies when you can hardly live and have to produce merch/fan art that sells 100% well.
I don't mean to offend anyone - it's just that I've been thinking a lot about my own setbacks as an artist since I've been dealing with them so intimately. And I've definitely made some setbacks!
In 2021-2023, fandom life continued and got worse and worse. Checking my smartphone, drawing something every day to post it - just so that the algorithm doesn't sort me out. Posting daily is the number one rule on all Social Media, unfortunately. But I did it, no matter how burned out I felt.
And then there were the dramas on Twitter: internet puritans, antis and proshippers were screaming at each other and tearing each other to shreds (a trap I almost fell into myself! anti and pro are the biggest bullshit ever and I'm lucky enough to have reached a point where I can say: I don't give a shit lol). Callout posts, vague tweeting and aggression instead of simply blocking and moving on. Harassment that I myself experienced: I blocked a few people because I found them strange and unpleasant. They posted explicit things that I did not want to see on my timeline. This triggered a wave of harassment that was simply disgusting. These are people who hate their own lives so much that they can't do anything but feel miserable and stalk strangers online. Admittedly, this made me paranoid: a group of people had chosen me as a target. They passed around screenshots of many of my tweets and made fun of me, copying and stealing my art 1:1. They lied and cheated to make me look like an asshole ā€“ and this went on for years. It made me paranoid and was the first step away from fandoms, as it escalated more and more.
So, I was successfully bullied out of the fandom and my hyperfixation was over. It left a terrible void that I am still trying to fill today. Neurodivergence sucks, I'll tell you.
That's when I honestly asked myself for the first time: What the fuck am I doing here? When did I become a content machine for strangers on the internet? Why the hell do I feel so bad when I don't draw for a day? And why do I care what strangers think about me?!
Then I realized that I can't draw anymore.
Without references or the 3D models from Clip Studio Paint, I'm lost. When I try to draw something without any help, I sit in front of an empty canvas. My hands don't do what they're supposed to do and my brain blocks the thought of how drawing even works. My eyes only see the mistakes I make. Everything I draw looks bad to me.
I realized I have a problem.
So I try again and learn it all again from scratch: Anatomy, perspective, color theory, everything. But every time I sit down and try to put something on paper, there's nothing there. I've been drawing things every day for the last four years. Now my hyperfixation on this character and this manga is over and there's nothing left. I've been burning the candle at both ends and I've broken something in the process. Art is no longer something I enjoy. I need art to live and breathe, no doubt, butā€¦ the barrel now has a bottom again and it's empty to the last drop.
The little motivation I can muster goes into my webcomic, which is my everything. It's just mine, not a fandom. I feel honored that so many people read this comic. At the same time, I'm afraid that it's not enough; in my eyes, my art doesn't look good. Being surrounded by perfect illustrations on social media all day long distorts one's own perception of art, like the beauty industry that gives you body dysmorphia. On top of that, I haven't had any financial success with my comics in recent years, none at all. The dream of being an independent comic artist has receded so far into the distance that I can no longer see it. Bummer.
The constant stream of content that I gave during my fandom days has set me back incredibly. I can no longer enjoy the process of art, but my brain constantly pushes me to finish it, to have a finished product - because then I can post the drawing and get the virtual handshake that my weird brain likes so much.
Social media detox, of course, is the first thing that comes to mind. It's actually bullshit that we're all so addicted to these apps, but here we are. It's uncomfortable for me to admit, but I have hardly any friends in real life. I'm very introverted and many people find my autism very unpleasant (I can't blame them, I often come across as rude), so I only have 1-2 friends. I would like to have more friends, but maintaining social contact is terribly exhausting. It's hard enough to reply to my mutuals in the DMs (sorryyyyy if I forget sometimesā€¦ā€¦ā€¦).
And what if I just take a break for a while and don't draw so much? Recharge my batteries? Right now I'm taking a 6-week break, partly because my jaw surgery is coming up soon. I'll be sick anyway, so why not put the webcomic on hiatus and take a break for a while? I don't know if it will work out, but I have a hunch that it won't, because I always have the fast-paced internet in the back of my mind. How can I be a freelancer if I don't do fanart? How can I make money with it to help my partner, who is currently financing our lives, financially? How can I, as a disabled person, find a job that I can do and at the same time build my career as an artist? As an independent comic artist, I have to do the job of so many people (artist, author, manager, taxes, work organization), how am I supposed to do that?
I have no answers to these questions. Original works don't go nearly as well as fanart! So you have to work ten times as hard and play by the vague rules of the algorithms, which is exhausting enough. Nowadays, you can only be lucky and ride the viral wave if it falls into your lap.
But reflecting on my time in a huge fandom has made me realize that I was going down a very wrong path and am now experiencing the consequences. I'm completely burnt out and no longer know why I'm even making art anymore. I don't know if I want to make art much longer. (I think shit-life-syndrome plays a big role here, but not exclusively.)
As I said, I don't have any answers - but I would at least like to warn those who are having difficulties with distancing themselves from the internet and are quickly losing themselves in this maelstrom of social media.
I have since deleted Twitter from my smartphone and, fortunately, have hardly ever used TikTok (dodged a bullet there!). I try to get back into traditional art and get away from my computer. I am all the more grateful to the people, my community, so to speak, who do nonsense with me on tumblr. They read my comics and are extremely nice to me, which I really appreciate. Thank you!
I don't know yet if and how it will continue, but I would like to finish Berserkir in the next few years. I'd love to find a way to finish all the short comics I want to make, even though it's just me and not a whole team. Maybe I'll find a way, maybe I don't. Anyways, thanks for sticking around!
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shrimplymoray Ā· 9 months ago
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I'm without internet but fuck it, TWSTumblr hear me out on this one.
I see a lot of people Hc Jade as autistic and Floyd with ADHD and although both r amazing Hcs, I can't help but remember just how entangled with genetics those are.
So... AuDHD TWEELS
First reasoning for this is that those r really entangled with genetics, and since the twins are identical twins that meant that they were a single embryo that sit up into 2 people (per human logic, not considering how merfolk might work in this specific case).
Second: Although Jade fits into a lot of autistic traits and Floyd ADHD ones, some autistic and ADHD traits overlap each other in certain areas. And it is quite tricky to nail down which one one has, specially considering that only on recent studies and research did people actually understood that 1 person can have both.
Jade AND Floyd both show high, long lasting interest in specific topics. Jade's being Mountains and Mushrooms, while Floyd is fashion, more focused on the shoes aspect, and seemingly cooking. I don't think it is a stretch to say how he enjoys cooking, since it it almost feels second nature how much he knows about it and can deduct or do with that skill with ease. (We can see how good he is at deducting what to do food wise on his Culinary Crucible vignettes).
Both shows deep emotional knowledge but a sort of disconnection to their own emotions, something that I as an Autistic person can say 100% fits the criteria. Jade is very good at reading others emotions, but can be noted as detached when it comes to showing this to others, which he clearly uses to his advantage to seem polite and as approachable as he can be. Floyd on the other hand, is very in tune with others emotions (tho most times he doesn't put them into consideration), and is relatively good at expressing his owns although in a very intense way, but he lacks the self control and self preservation skills, noted by his rather bluntness when saying what he wants and also how he doesn't hold back from dropping whatever he doesn't want to anymore in a blink of an eye.
Jade is particularly noted to eat a lot, and as much as people do the canibal Jade theory, that can be just a form of anxiety reducing mechanism, much like stimming. More common in the ADHD aspect in my experience, some people may need multiple sensory inputs to keep themselves grounded in during a taxing day or task. For Floyd, since he does seem to have a deep interest in cooking, at least more than Jade in my view, his relationship with it is very much involving expanding his horizons. He doesn't seem to have a particular problem with texture, flavours, appearance or smell, but he does have a problem with things being too much of the same, and so repeating dishes a lot of doing something straight out the recipe feels taxing and boring. His way of dealing with food is by making something different to keep even the same ever dish interesting. (Again for proof of this, his Culinary Crucible vignettes are a great way of understanding this side of his.)
I can go on more and more, but I don't want to use all my data for a singular post.
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ihopesocomic Ā· 3 months ago
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It's just a silly question about a topic I was thinking about:
As a autistic person, I sometimes put certain neurodivergent traits into my characters without realizing it.
Something I think is something "normal" and "everyone does it!" And then I find out it's not. It's funny because I have Ocs who are canonically and intentionally autistic, but in the end it seems like all of them are. It doesn't bother me much but sometimes it's a problem šŸ˜­
I don't know if both of you are neurodivergent, but if so, how do you write neurotypical characters? Like Hope herself
How do make a neurotypical character "quirky" in their own way?
I'm neurodivergent (autism, schizophrenia) and, as alarming as it is to say, I feel I can write neurotypical characters because I wasn't diagnosed with anything until I was 21 so I had to spend a good chunk of my life 'masking' and trying to fit in, so I suppose it's all come from just navigating through life with that kind of thing. Which also includes being exclusively surrounded by neurotypical individuals. The sole exception being my biological mother who was also schizophrenic and one of my foster brothers who has AuDHD but even he didn't come into my life until I was 14. My only other exposure to other neurodivergent individuals was via the internet.
So, yeah, basically: I have always been surrounded by neurotypicals and you just... pick up on things while you also try and fit in. Honestly not trying to sound like a downer but it's a matter of sink or swim, sadly. It worked better in some situations than others. And I guess that's what's carried over to some characters in the comic. - RJ
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