#also varis deserved better

[fatedroses]

Zenos viator Galvus and him trying to deal with actually feeling things for once (Even if he doesn't really understand how to handle the comfort he receives from others for it)

I am also giving this man a dad that actually cares, because this brainworm have gotten me and there is no saving me from them.

[a-wins-a-win]

unpopular opinion?? maybe?

Matt & Ivy have a really interesting dynamic!! both pre- and post-canon!! with or without romantic undertones!! either reciprocal or one-sided!!

and obviously it has to be handled with a particular level of care/respect BUT I think if we allowed them enough grace there is space to explore a really interesting possibility for that relationship.

[bestnoncannonship]

With JoAnne Fabrics going out of business I feel it is my duty as a cosplayer, historical costumer, and general sewing gremlin to help teach y'all how not to be reliant on evil overpriced mediocre big box stores for fabric and cosplay supply, cause if I catch y'all going into Homophobia Lobby to get cosplay fabrics imma have to start throwing hands. And frankly you guys all deserve better.

- Find a neighborhood full of brown people. Probably a slightly poorer neighborhod. I know, I know, but they will have small independent fabric stores. Selection in each may vary. Hispanic and Caribbean areas will give you prints that EAT. Muslim areas will give you fabrics with amazing drapery. Indian and Southeast Asian areas will give you beading that would make the House of Worth wet with envy. (Try to avoid oldwhitelady quilting stores unless you are a knitter or are specifically trying to cosplay Kirsten Larson.) (Also ask while you're there for lunch/dinner spot recommendations. Your fabric store guy usually has a buddy with a joint nextdoor with the best *insert relevant ethnic food here* you'll ever put in your mouth.)

- DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OWNER OF SAID STORE. This I cannot stress enough. Abdul, my fabric guy, can and will get me whatever I want cause he knows me, knows I bring in other young people, and knows I will be back every month for more. Indie fabric stores tend to have older clients. They are anxious to see faces under 60. Just chat with whoever is in there about the kind of stuff you want and need and they will help you. This also frequently leads to discounts. I have not paid listed price for fabric in years and just walked out of Abdul's with 7~ yards of gorgeous teal satin for 10 bucks. Not a yard. Total.

- Do not be afraid of mess. The best shit comes from stores that look like a hurricane went through them. Don't try to understand the organization. (One day, 4 years into your relationship with the store, suddenly the fabric gods will reveal the knowledge to you.) Again, talk to whoever is in there about your project. They'll help.

- Give up on one stop shopping. Get your crafting supplies elsewhere. Like a small independent hardware store. There's usually an old guy in there that reminds you of an uncle who will also help you.

-Worbla and whatever other Cosplay Specific Material you're using is a fatphobic material straight from Satan's hot taint, you do not need it, and any old hardware/tractor supply dad will help you find better, more durable armor/weapon/detailing material. Don't snub your nose at paper mache and plaster of paris. Venetian Mask makers have been using it for years. Balsa wood is also your friend. Hardware store Uncles will teach you to work with both.

- Elderly people are your bffs. If you see an old person TALK TO THEM. They know how to do all kinds of shit. I know there's a hesitation around old people because of the political climate and a fear that they may be homo/trans/whatever-phobic, but hey....minds are changed by making friends. My elderly Muslim fabric supplier is an Our Flag Means Death fan because of me gushing about the teal I needed for Stede Bonnet. He wishes me happy pride now. He put bolt of rainbow in the window in June and kept it up all summer. And he'd never had a thought about queers before me.

- Don't feel limited to Craft and Fabric stores. Hardware stores are cool. They stock outdoor fabrics and umbrella and furniture covers that are very durable....my first cosplay was made out of patio furniture covers. Also upholstery stores and upholsterers have velvets and damasks and faux leather and real leather and all sorts of rich textures. Most of them will part with a few yards pretty cheap. Second hand sheets and bedspreads and curtains also make some really cool garments. A significant amount of my ren fair garb started as household goods.

- If you are forced to order fabric online, please for the love of all that is holy DO NOT BUY FROM MOOD or any other famous store. You're paying for their branding and their place on certain reality shows I will not mention. Indie is always cheaper for the quality and usually not abusing their workers.

- If the fabric/hobby/hardware/upholstery/etc store you develop a relationship with is inconveniently far from you, see if said owner is willing to take your order via phone and send it to you. You'd be surprised how accommodating people in the crafting and sewing world can be.

It all really comes down to having to form a community. I know finding multiple small stores is a lot less convenient than Joannes. But forming a relationship with a local supplier will, in the long run, yield you much better results AND put money and good back into a community near you.

(And if you're in the NYC area DM me and I'll put you in contact with Abdul. He's the absolute best and I'd do anything to help him and his business grow!!!)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Paying consumer debts is basically optional in the United States

The vast majority of America's debt collection targets $500-2,000 credit card debts. It is a filthy business, operated by lawless firms who hire unskilled workers drawn from the same economic background as their targets, who routinely and grotesquely flout the law, but only when it comes to the people with the least ability to pay.

America has fairly robust laws to protect debtors from sleazy debt-collection practices, notably the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA), which has been on the books since 1978. The FDCPA puts strict limits on the conduct of debt collectors, and offers real remedies to debtors when they are abused.

But for FDPCA provisions to be honored, they must be understood. The people who collect these debts are almost entirely untrained. The people they collected the debts from are likewise in the dark. The only specialized expertise debt-collection firms concern themselves with are a series of gotcha tricks and semi-automated legal shenanigans that let them take money they don't deserve from people who can't afford to pay it.

There's no better person to explain this dynamic than Patrick McKenzie, a finance and technology expert whose Bits About Money newsletter is absolutely essential reading. No one breaks down the internal operations of the finance sector like McKenzie. His latest edition, "Credit card debt collection," is a fantastic read:

https://www.bitsaboutmoney.com/archive/the-waste-stream-of-consumer-finance/

McKenzie describes how a debt collector who mistook him for a different PJ McKenzie and tried to shake him down for a couple hundred bucks, and how this launched him into a life as a volunteer advocate for debtors who were less equipped to defend themselves from collectors than he was.

McKenzie's conclusion is that "paying consumer debts is basically optional in the United States." If you stand on your rights (which requires that you know your rights), then you will quickly discover that debt collectors don't have – and can't get – the documentation needed to collect on whatever debts they think you owe (even if you really owe them).

The credit card companies are fully aware of this, and bank (literally) on the fact that "the vast majority of consumers, including those with the socioeconomic wherewithal to walk away from their debts, feel themselves morally bound and pay as agreed."

If you find yourself on the business end of a debt collector's harassment campaign, you can generally make it end simply by "carefully sending a series of letters invoking [your] rights under the FDCPA." The debt collector who receives these letters will have bought your debt at five cents on the dollar, and will simply write it off.

By contrast, the mere act of paying anything marks you out as substantially more likely to pay than nearly everyone else on their hit-list. Paying anything doesn't trigger forbearance, it invites a flood of harassing calls and letters, because you've demonstrated that you can be coerced into paying.

But while learning FDCPA rules isn't overly difficult, it's also beyond the wherewithal of the most distressed debtors (and people falsely accused of being debtors). McKenzie recounts that many of the people he helped were living under chaotic circumstances that put seemingly simple things "like writing letters and counting to 30 days" beyond their needs.

This means that the people best able to defend themselves against illegal shakedowns are less likely to be targeted. Instead, debt collectors husband their resources so they can use them "to do abusive and frequently illegal shakedowns of the people the legislation was meant to benefit."

Here's how this debt market works. If you become delinquent in meeting your credit card payments ("delinquent" has a flexible meaning that varies with each issuer), then your debt will be sold to a collector. It is packaged in part of a large spreadsheet – a CSV file – and likely sold to one of 10 large firms that control 75% of the industry.

The "mom and pops" who have the other quarter of the industry might also get your debt, but it's more likely that they'll buy it as a kind of tailings from one of the big guys, who package up the debts they couldn't collect on and sell them at even deeper discounts.

The people who make the calls are often barely better off than the people they're calling. They're minimally trained and required to work at a breakneck pace. Employee turnover is 75-100% annually: imagine the worst call center job in the world, and then make it worse, and make "success" into a moral injury, and you've got the debt-collector rank-and-file.

To improve the yield on this awful process, debt collection companies start by purging these spreadsheets of likely duds: dead people, people with very low credit-scores, and people who appear on a list of debtors who know their rights and are likely to stand on them (that's right, merely insisting on your rights can ensure that the entire debt-collection industry leaves you alone, forever).

The FDPCA gives you rights: for example, you have the right to verify the debt and see the contract you signed when you took it on. The debt collector who calls you almost certainly does not have that contract and can't get it. Your original lender might, but they stopped caring about your debt the minute they sold it to a debt-collector. Their own IT systems are baling-wire-and-spit Rube Goldberg machines that glue together the wheezing computers of all the companies they've bought over the last 25 years. Retrieving your paperwork is a nontrivial task, and the lender doesn't have any reason to perform it.

Debt collectors are bottom feeders. They are buying delinquent debts at 5 cents on the dollar and hoping to recover 8 percent of them; at 7 percent, they're losing money. They aren't "large, nationally scaled, hypercompetent operators" – they're shoestring operations that can only be viable if they hire unskilled workers and fail to train them.

They are subject to automatic damages for illegal behavior, but they still break the law all the time. As McKenzie writes, a debt collector will "commit three federal torts in a few minutes of talking to a debtor then follow up with a confirmation of the same in writing." A statement like "if you don’t pay me I will sue you and then Immigration will take notice of that and yank your green card" makes the requisite three violations: a false threat of legal action, a false statement of affiliation with a federal agency, and "a false alleged consequence for debt nonpayment not provided for in law."

If you know this, you can likely end the process right there. If you don't, buckle in. The one area that debt collectors invest heavily in is the automation that allows them to engage in high-intensity harassment. They use "predictive dialers" to make multiple calls at once, only connecting the collector to the calls that pick up. They will call you repeatedly. They'll call your family, something they're legally prohibited from doing except to get your contact info, but they'll do it anyway, betting that you'll scrape up $250 to keep them from harassing your mother.

These dialing systems are far better organized than any of the company's record keeping about what you owe. A company may sell your debt on and fail to keep track of it, with the effect that multiple collectors will call you about the same debt, and even paying off one of them will not stop the other.

Talking to these people is a bad idea, because the one area where collectors get sophisticated training is in emptying your bank account. If you consent to a "payment plan," they will use your account and routing info to start whacking your bank account, and your bank will let them do it, because the one part of your conversation they reliably record is this payment plan rigamarole. Sending a check won't help – they'll use the account info on the front of your check to undertake "demand debits" from your account, and backstop it with that recorded call.

Any agreement on your part to get on a payment plan transforms the old, low-value debt you incurred with your credit card into a brand new, high value debt that you owe to the bill collector. There's a good chance they'll sell this debt to another collector and take the lump sum – and then the new collector will commence a fresh round of harassment.

McKenzie says you should never talk to a debt collector. Make them put everything in writing. They are almost certain to lie to you and violate your rights, and a written record will help you prove it later. What's more, debt collection agencies just don't have the capacity or competence to engage in written correspondence. Tell them to put it in writing and there's a good chance they'll just give up and move on, hunting softer targets.

One other thing debt collectors due is robo-sue their targets, bulk-filing boilerplate suits against debtors, real and imaginary. If you don't show up for court (which is what usually happens), they'll get a default judgment, and with it, the legal right to raid your bank account and your paycheck. That, in turn, is an asset that, once again, the debt collector can sell to an even scummier bottom-feeder, pocketing a lump sum.

McKenzie doesn't know what will fix this. But Michael Hudson, a renowned scholar of the debt practices of antiquity, has some ideas. Hudson has written eloquently and persuasively about the longstanding practice of jubilee, in which all debts were periodically wiped clean (say, whenever a new king took the throne, or once per generation):

https://pluralistic.net/2020/03/24/grandparents-optional-party/#jubilee

Hudson's core maxim is that "debt's that can't be paid won't be paid." The productive economy will have need for credit to secure the inputs to their processes. Farmers need to borrow every year for labor, seed and fertilizer. If all goes according to plan, the producer pays off the lender after the production is done and the goods are sold.

But even the most competent producer will eventually find themselves unable to pay. The best-prepared farmer can't save every harvest from blight, hailstorms or fire. When the producer can't pay the creditor, they go a little deeper into debt. That debt accumulates, getting worse with interest and with each bad beat.

Run this process long enough and the entire productive economy will be captive to lenders, who will be able to direct production for follies and fripperies. Farmers stop producing the food the people need so they can devote their land to ornamental flowers for creditors' tables. Left to themselves, credit markets produce hereditary castes of lenders and debtors, with lenders exercising ever-more power over debtors.

This is socially destabilizing; you can feel it in McKenzie's eloquent, barely controlled rage at the hopeless structural knot that produces the abusive and predatory debt industry. Hudson's claim is that the rulers of antiquity knew this – and that we forgot it. Jubilee was key to producing long term political stability. Take away Jubilee and civilizations collapse:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/07/08/jubilant/#construire-des-passerelles

Debts that can't be paid won't be paid. Debt collectors know this. It's irrefutable. The point of debt markets isn't to ensure that debts are discharged – it's to ensure that every penny the hereditary debtor class has is transferred to the creditor class, at the hands of their fellow debtors.

In her 2021 Paris Review article "America's Dead Souls," Molly McGhee gives a haunting, wrenching account of the debts her parents incurred and the harassment they endured:

https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2021/05/17/americas-dead-souls/

After I published on it, many readers wrote in disbelief, insisting that the debt collection practices McGhee described were illegal:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/19/zombie-debt/#damnation

And they are illegal. But debt collection is a trade founded on lawlessness, and its core competence is to identify and target people who can't invoke the law in their own defense.

Going to Defcon this weekend? I’m giving a keynote, “An Audacious Plan to Halt the Internet’s Enshittification and Throw it Into Reverse,” today (Aug 12) at 12:30pm, followed by a book signing at the No Starch Press booth at 2:30pm!

https://info.defcon.org/event/?id=50826

I’m kickstarting the audiobook for “The Internet Con: How To Seize the Means of Computation,” a Big Tech disassembly manual to disenshittify the web and bring back the old, good internet. It’s a DRM-free book, which means Audible won’t carry it, so this crowdfunder is essential. Back now to get the audio, Verso hardcover and ebook:

http://seizethemeansofcomputation.org

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/12/do-not-pay/#fair-debt-collection-practices-act

[matchingbatbites]

A lil something for @stmarchmm day one: Courting Rituals.

Steve spots Eddie's van in the driveway as he's passing by the living room window. This isn't weird on it's own; he and Eddie have plans, after all, even if it's just crashing on the Harrington couch with pizza and a cheesy B-List horror movie.

No, what's weird is that Eddie is early.

The alpha is historically late for things. The entire party has a fifteen minute grace period that they wait before they actually start to worry that something might actually be wrong. So it's odd that Eddie is at Steve's house a whole ten minutes ahead of the time they agreed on.

Steve goes to the front door and opens it, only to find Eddie at the bottom of the steps, pacing back and forth. His bangs are frizzy and ruffled, like he's been running his fingers through them, and he has a bouquet of flowers in hand.

The omega hovers in the doorway and smiles when he realizes that Eddie is muttering to himself.

"-think you're an amazing person. You make every day brighter, and- No, shit. Tone it down, Eddie. Don't scare him off from the get go." He turns and continues pacing, his free hand moving to push through his bangs again.

"Uh, we- we've gotten to know each other better over the last six months, and I really like you, and I was wondering if- Fuck! Am I asking him to court or asking him to the homecoming dance? Jesus christ."

Steve's stomach flips at the mention of courting. Is that what Eddie's doing? Hyping himself up before he comes in and asks to court Steve?

He really hopes so; Steve's been dropping hints to Eddie for a while now. Any longer and the onega was going to start the process himself, honestly.

Eddie's just so... Eddie. He's weird and manic and intense, but he's also kind and incredibly gentle, handling every interaction with Steve like he's juggling glass. Like one wrong move will have the whole thing shattering to pieces around him.

It's endearing. It shows Steve that Eddie cares, that he wants Steve to think good of him.

"Hey, Eddie!" Steve calls and Eddie's attention immediately snaps to him. He turns so fast that he nearly slips and eats shit on the concrete, but he manages to catch himself at the last second.

"Hey, uh, hi! Steve!" Eddie shuffles in place and half-hides the flowers behind his leg, and Steve beams. He loves the weird, goofy man.

"Are you gonna hang out here all day? Or are you going to come inside and actually ask me, Alpha?"

It takes Eddie a second to register the question before he's scrambling up the steps and shyly presenting Steve with the bouquet - a bundle of wildflowers in varying colors, each one unique and beautiful. Steve happily takes them but doesn't move from the threshold, instead looking at Eddie expectantly.

"Steve, you are the most beautiful person I've ever met, inside and out," Eddie starts as he fidgets in place. "You deserve the world, and if you allow me the honor of courting you, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to give it to you."

Steve smiles and reaches out to grab Eddie's shirt. "You're too sweet, Alpha," he mutters as he tugs the alpha closer and places a kiss to his cheek. "I don't need the world, Eddie. I just need you to love me."

Eddie blinks rapidly for a second before his nerves seem to vanish. He smiles and hooks a finger into Steve's belt loop, keeping him close. "Well, good thing I've got a head start on that, then."

[croquettish]

Why Henry pushes Hans away at first

I keep thinking about Henry pushing Hans away after he kisses him and why he might do that. After much rumination I think I might have figured it out (though anyone is welcome to chime in with their own ideas!!!).

Apologies in advance-- this got quite long, as it analyzes Henry's view of Hans' romantic behavior through both games and the DLCs (expect spoilers).

ETA: I've expounded a bit on all of this here and here as well!

Henry, better than just about anyone, knows that Hans is a massive flirt.

In Next to Godliness, Hans justifies his desire to go to the bathhouse by mentioning Klara and how pretty she is:

Upon arriving at the bathhouse, Henry learns that Hans hired a bathhouse wench and did his best to undress her via dice before failing and thus recruiting Henry into it.

Zdena tells Henry that Hans regularly goes about such behavior there, so much so that the other girls there are used to it:

We get other little nudge nudge wink winks from Hans who is very determined to show off his masculinity and just how straight he is:

At this point Klara enters the picture, and we learn due to the events that follow that she's the one woman at the bathhouse who doesn't act as a sex worker there in any capacity. Henry would most likely take notice of the fact that the one woman who doesn't let Hans have what he wants is also the one that he likes best.

He then declares that Klara deserves flowers and asks Henry to get her some. Now, if that ain't blurring the lines already...

Fast-forward to The Amorous Adventures of Sir Hans Capon when Hans declares passionate love of a woman he barely knows but who he again insists is different from other women:

He insists that secret courtship is all the rage right now in France and as a result he just has to get in on that trend. Nothing about this sounds sincere to Henry, but Hans is very insistent that no, she's the one! There's no station but the heart! So much so that he wants to gift her his great-grandmother's necklace.

When Henry delivers the necklace, Hans informs him that he already knew of this happening after the fact on account of his spies having informed him of this already.

He insists that he wants her feelings to grow naturally and that he's not planning on doing all of this too fast:

Henry is to get him a potion that'll guarantee his success because Karolina is just that worthy of his affections. He further insists that even if that potion makes every woman faint at his feet, he's only interested in one.

Things don't go entirely according to plan and quite frankly, a lot of this could be seen through the gayest lens possible, but at one point while headed to the rendezvous point, Hans asks Henry about his conquests, prompting Henry to have the option to deflect. Hans surely has had so many more conquests than he, after all!

Wow! Hans must be very invested in this!

Along the way to Karolina's house they come across another, and Hans makes this comment, which might have tipped Henry off to a certain extent (if he hadn't been already tbh) just how in love Hans really is:

So... what you're saying, Hans, is that if she was available, we'd be doing this same song and dance with her?

Huh!

Things go... uniquely over at Karolina's house with Henry feeding him lines of poetry from a bush (to varying degrees of success), and we're treated to these lovely line from Hans:

Depending on which lines Henry fed him, the quest can either end successfully or not. If it is successful, Henry checks on him again the next morning and asks him how things went. He declares:

Well! That sure sounds promising. And so magnanimous of you, Henry! He asks when Hans will see her again and is told the following:

Henry is, understandably, baffled at this.

Hans insists that he had good reason for just ditching the love of his life, namely the fact that she turned out to be illiterate:

Personally, the Hansry shipper in me absolutely thrives at this because oh, Henry is worthy of his poetry? He's giving bawdy poetry to Henry? This could not possibly gayer! (said tam from the past, who had not yet experienced just how gay KCD2 would get)

(Mind you, the poetry is fucking godawful, as we later see again in KCD2 when he actually does write poetry about Henry.)

We fast-forward again.

After their breakup in KCD2, Henry finds him again at the wedding (if not sooner), at one point having what looks like a date with a woman he has given another affectionate nickname:

And then keeps flirting with this girl right in front of Henry's salad after a bit more drama:

As soon as Henry leaves, he goes back to his date.

In other words, Henry knows Hans. He has had his number since early in the first game.

In his eyes, based on the knowledge he has, Hans is an incorrigible flirt who doesn't take love seriously whatsoever. As my gf pointed out, this vibe of "love? I never knew love till now!" [five minutes later] "love? I never knew love till—" can be VERY indicative of queerness. Of course you haven't found the right girl because you're not looking for a girl at all!

Even in his godawful poetry in the second game, Hans admits that

He's a flirt, he sleeps around a lot, he claims that any given woman is the love of his life one moment before being discarded the next...

To Henry, this could easily look like something Hans did on impulse and based only on the fear of losing Henry. Something he didn't mean. Something that could fuck up both of their lives just because of one of Hans' whims. Worse yet, what if he did it just because he was horny and wanted to let off some steam in light of all the anxiety surrounding the circumstances of that moment?

Knowing Hans, he could have kissed him for so many reasons that aren't just that he wanted to kiss Henry because he's hopelessly in love with him.

So Henry pushes him away (for his own good, most likely), walks away, and then--

Hears how genuinely distraught Hans sounds. If his Amorous Adventure with Karolina fails, he knows what Hans sounds like if he's rejected. And it's sure as shit not like this. Things like that usually just don't seem to affect him at all, rolling off him like water off a duck's back.

He expected Hans to brush this off and for him to move on more or less instantly. To scoff at Henry's rejection.

But he doesn't.

And faced with a remorseful and distraught-sounding Hans, he locks the door and turns around. Doesn't even hesitate for one second longer.

[koolades-world]

there was never a boring moment with the brothers, and roadtrips were arguably the most interesting.

to start, the car was barely large enough for all of you. the back row technically only had two seats, but you crammed and made it work. however, that was only the beginning of your problems.

you might have been able to (barely) for the entire family in the car, but that left little to no space for bags. you, levi, lucifer, and beel essential played a huge game of tetris, slotting in luggage where you could, and as much as you could. some of the luggage did have to go on the roof, but it was a necessary sacrifice.

the next issue that always rose inevitably was the seating arrangements.

lucifer and mammon were the only two who drove. you could, but were usually needed to help break up bickering, even if mammon was supposed to be busy with driving.

something that didn't change, regardless of the driver, was the levi was happy sitting in the back row. he had his own set up, no matter where in the row he was. belphie was also happy in the very back, as long as he had his cow spot pillow and blanket. beel also always sat in the middle row, because he needed the space.

when lucifer drove, while he'd prefer to have you on the passengers side, it usually went to asmo. he and mammon were the two biggest instigators, and mammon was more likely to cause issues up front. asmo was actually helpful, and helped lucifer with whatever he needed. this left satan, you, and mammon. of course, everyone wanted you to sit next to them. because of this, the three of you rotated where you sat. when mammon got too rambunctious with asmo, he'd be banished to the back row. when satan got too worked up with being in the same car as lucifer for too long, he went to the back to unwind. and when you were tired, you curled up with belphie in the back.

when mammon drove, asmo couldn't sit up front, so lucifer would instead. this left asmo, satan, and you to rotate through the car, so you did so in a similar way when lucifer drove.

whoever sat on the passengers side had to help with navigating, and collecting the consensus from the rest of the car for breaks and food. it was a job both lucifer and asmo excelled at for very different reasons. stops didn't happen often when lucifer drove, but mammon seemed willing to stop every half hour if nobody stopped him.

depending on where you sat in the car, what you'd spend your time doing varied. if you were in the back row, you were usually slumped against belphie, fast asleep. somehow, he made it comfortable. if you happened to be awake, levi would be telling you all about what he happened to be playing. if you were in the middle row, you were welcome to help yourself to whatever beel was munching on. if asmo was next to you, the two of you spent most of your time messing around with filters. there were hundreds, and some were better than others, so you always ended up with at least a couple silly photos to help you remember the trip by. if you were next to satan, you were guaranteed a quiet seat mate. the only thing he wanted was to hold your hand while he silently read <3. if you were next to mammon, the complete opposite was true. he was constantly flapping his gums, whether than be arguing with one of his brothers, or rambling to you about his last ear modeling gig. either way though, you still enjoyed his comforting presence. his voice could never become grating to you. if, for whatever reason, you happened to find yourself in the passengers seat, you were treated like the passenger princess you deserved to be. you got to control the music, and you were always treated to whatever amenities you wanted.

however chaotic the trip might be, you always enjoyed it. part of the journey was the road you took to get there, not just the final destination. the brothers probably would’ve ripped each other apart without you in the car anyways. what was a family vacation without the newest member?

[gi4hao]

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ ˎˊ- how they make you feel beautiful

ot13 x reader — some mentions of insecurities

a/n: don’t mind me pushing the taking-pictures-as-a-love-language agenda for wonu, as always

— seungcheol: with gifts

with him, gifts for no particular reason are much more frequent than gifts for a specific occasion. he doesn’t like to come home empty handed and always says you deserve all the pretty things in the world. if he ever buys you a piece of clothing or jewelry, then he’ll be the happiest man on earth every time you wear it, showering you with compliments a little bit more than usual just because he loves spoiling you <3

— jeonghan: with specific compliments

every variation of color in your irises, the micro expressions on your face, the way your laugh slightly varies depending on what’s provoking it: whether it’s something new or not, jeonghan will compliment the slightest details in your appearance or your personality. sometimes he begins with a “did i ever tell you…”, and you know you’re about to hear the sweetest thing ever. like, “did i ever tell you how dreamy you look in that light? i can’t stop looking at you,” and even though he’s just talking about the orange-ish hues of your bedside lamp, you know he’s being 100% honest.

— joshua: by saying it out loud

“you’re the prettiest” while you’re brushing your teeth, “you look so gorgeous” when he’s picking you up in his car, or just your usual “hey beautiful” when you wake up in the morning. he never gets tired of saying it and you never get tired of hearing it. he barely uses your name anymore because he’s so used to calling you ‘beautiful’. the man is so smitten he could spend hours flirting with you, years into the relationship. and it’s even better if you’re easily flustered because he loves how shy you get when you hear those words…

— jun: with cuddles

there’s something about the way his fingers mindlessly trace your silhouette that makes you feel like the most delicate sculpture ever. you could just be cuddling in silence, reading a book or scrolling on your phone, and his hands will gently brush against your skin like they were made to do that and nothing else. sometimes you feel like returning the favor, but although he doesn’t mind it at all, it’ll never come close to how much he loves cherishing you with his cuddles.

— hoshi: by being your #1 hypeman

even though you’re someone that brings hoshi a lot of peace and serenity, your mere existence also gets him very excited for no apparent reason. the way he hypes you up whenever you’re getting ready to go out together is similar to the way people cheer for their favorite sports team. he’s celebrating two things: you being absolutely gorgeous, and him being lucky enough to be your partner. “honestly, if i saw you walking down the street without being the one dating you… i think i’d start crying.”

— wonwoo: by taking pictures

it’s not just him taking pictures that makes you feel beautiful, it’s the way he treats his photographs as if they’re the most precious things he owns. he regularly makes sure that they’re synchronized on his personal icloud account in case he ever loses them (it’s very serious to him). but also, he keeps a picture of you on his desk, in his wallet, as his phone wallpaper… and everyone thinks it’s the sweetest thing ever. the guys tried to tease him for it at first, but they quickly gave up because even they had to admit it’s an adorable way to express his love for you.

— woozi: with meaningful looks

it’s a rare occurrence to catch woozi in the act of being incredibly down bad for you. but it sometimes happens when you notice him looking at you with heart-shaped eyes and a smile tugging at his lips. you could be sitting on the other side of a room and his gaze would still find you in a second, lingering for a few seconds just to appreciate your beauty. he said so himself actually, when you asked him why he was looking at you so frequently. “everyone likes looking at beautiful things,” he replied very naturally, not picking up on the squeal you had to hold back.

— dokyeom: by talking about you

“y/n would love that”. “this would look amazing on y/n”. “oh look, y/n just sent me a pic!”. it’s a daily occurrence, and everyone knows they just have to deal with it. some boyfriends might try to gatekeep their partner: that’s not dokyeom’s case at all. in fact, people better be complimenting you in front of him! to be honest, he was talking about you non-stop before you guys even started dating, which is why you barely had to introduce yourself to his friends. you’re one of his proudest accomplishments and he wants the whole world to know about you!!

— mingyu: with kisses

there’s nothing like being kissed by mingyu to feel a sudden boost of self-confidence. his hands gently cupping your cheeks, the way he looks at you in between kisses and the growing smile in his eyes and on his lips… everything in his behavior seems tailor-made to make you feel like a vision of heaven. it doesn’t always have to be kisses on your lips tho, sometimes it’s on the back of your hand, on your shoulder or on your temple. but no matter where his lips touch your skin, they always convey just how much he cherishes you and every inch of your body.

— minghao: by drawing you

no other representation of yourself makes you feel as self-confident as minghao’s drawings of you. at first you were a bit taken aback by the feeling of seeing yourself through someone else’s perspective in such a raw way. but you got used to it pretty quickly, mostly because of how often minghao uses you as a reference. when you take a closer look at them, you realize his drawings are filled with details that not only depict your looks, but also traits of your personality. slowly but surely, you start to believe in the beauty he consistently finds in you, and that’s enough to let him know he’s doing a perfect job.

— seungkwan: by complimenting your insecurities

he doesn’t do it that often because he doesn’t want it to be the only thing he compliments you on. but seungkwan is very attentive to the way you perceive yourself so he will guess your insecurities even if you don’t talk about them out loud. therefore, he’ll find subtle ways to compliment them without making it too obvious. sometimes it’s not even out loud, it might just be by gently brushing against a body part you’re not confident in, or hyping you up in an outfit that doesn’t hide your insecurity. no matter how he does it, it always comes with such kindness and love that you have no choice but to feel a bit prettier than you did seconds ago.

— vernon: by paying attention

it sounds silly but it’s true. vernon pays attention to everything, from the colors you look most confident in, to what kind of compliments seem to work best on you. and later on, he’s able to adapt his behavior accordingly, to make you feel as good as possible in any situation. “you always know exactly what say, i don’t know how you do it,” you once told him, almost teary from how sweet he was being. “well, the fact that you strongly underestimate how beautiful you are is an insanely good motivation,” he replied, gently wiping the tears under your lash line.

— dino: by showing you off

he considers you the rarest gem of all, so yes of course he will show you off to whoever’s near! he’s the type of boyfriend that will enter a room before you just because he wants to do jazz hands for your entry. and he has such a smug look on his face when you two are out together, it’s like he’s in a permanent state of pride just because you’re holding hands in public. and although he’s not huge on pda, he has no problem complimenting you out loud in front of other people, and you find yourself on his instagram stories on a regular basis, which makes your self-esteem go up a notch every single time.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

[roach-works]

Wrt the post about Americans and components: please what is the trans compliment? I (cis) sometimes clock someone as trans and want to compliment them or i want to signal i know but I'm Chill or something - but i also don't want to bring attention to something if that's not what they want us know? It's probably a person by person basis but I'm curious if there's a good or at least a not-bad way to do it (hope this makes sense)

obviously this varies by person and situation but if i think a woman is trans i casually compliment some nice, feminine accessory she's wearing, like her nail polish or earrings or cardigan or skirt. if she's not trans, it's a free compliment. if she is, i just want to affirm that she looks cute and feminine and deserves to be complimented for it.

and of course if you see anyone with some accessory that's trans flag colors, like shoelaces or a pin or whatever, you just specifically say, 'i like your x' and they Know. maybe you aren't trans, but you're saying you see and appreciate and agree with them!

anyway i think (i hope!) that the difference between a creepy man hitting on you and a nice man complimenting you is not focusing on a woman's body and how it hypothetically relates to having sex with it, but instead genuinely appreciating women's sense of style and individuality. Their nails, their earrings, their dresses and hats, they're these personal choices that express something about who the woman is and what she wants to look like, not that she wants some rando to let her know he'd fuck her.

i say things like 'what a great color for your nails' or 'those are such elegant earrings' or 'that's a pretty skirt, it's got great lines', stuff like that.

for people who aren't obviously gendering themselves as femme, i just like to say, "I love your style!" because i so often do. i saw a butch on the sidewalk today in a leather vest over a mustard yellow silk button up with big black polka dots and i almost crashed my car. i love punks and goths and unsubtle furries and teenagers with anime t-shirts and i love art school lesbians and i love trashy boys in pabst shirts and rude trucker hats and i love the modern pantaloon+hose rendition that men do with basketball shorts and tall athletic socks. i love older women in denim jackets and chunky jewelry. i love applique chickens.

like, apparently this makes me a gushy, overly positive american! but holy shit, people wear such fun things. they deserve credit for making the world even better to look at.

[saturngalore]

afrofuturism🪐

☆ one ~ solange hair by darknightt (tsr warning) ☆ two ~ loretta hair by @simtric ☆ three ~ bahati braids by @sheabuttyr ☆ four ~ isonoe hair by octetsica ☆ five ~ binah braids by @sheabuttyr ☆ six ~ cornrows & curls hair by @leeleesims1 ☆ seven ~ indie hair by @sashima ☆ eight ~ loc petals by @shespeakssimlish ☆ nine ~ mnemosyne hair by octetsica ☆

mini dedication essay to black simmers and ts4 creators below! pls read if you have the chance! <3

this edit is a small homage to afrofuturism and the various unique black hairstyles (and especially the black creators of most of these hairs) that i have downloaded and admired over the years! some of these are old and some of these are new.

to me, afrofuturism means constantly honoring/reclaiming/challenging the past while constantly creating/dreaming of a better society/world/future. a society/world/future that embraces and empowers all of our differences, ingenuity, aspirations, and unique lived/cultural experiences. a society/world/future that does not limit us through the various systems of marginalization and oppression (racism, homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, sexism, xenophobia, ableism, classism, colorism, etc.) that often affects how we, as black people, live today.

blackness is so diverse and intricate yet it's always been a struggle to find my culture within a game that's known for being so limiting, bland, and extremely eurocentric when it comes to hairstyles, clothing, food traditions/events, etc. black simmers have always had to figure out how to make this game more inclusive and make it resemble either more like how our ancestors lived, how our current lives are, or how we would want our lives (and even our children's lives) to look like in the future no matter how dystopian the real world look and feel now. fortunately, these hairs and their uniqueness bring a huge sense of culture and style to this game. they have always inspired me and made me feel extremely proud to a part of the lovely african diaspora (and the ever-growing black simmer community).

in a way, being a black simmer and cc creator usually means that we are often digitally creating our own worlds as afrofuturists to varying degrees (whether we know it or not) every time we open our game, make our sims, make houses, and/or make black cultural cc. also, now i know that cc making is not easy to do and is extremely time-consuming so this post is also just me giving all black cc creators especially those who create for free their well-deserved flowers! here are some other black cc creators who created cc that have greatly impacted my game since i first started playing sims 4: @/leeleesims1 @/simtric @/hi-land @/yuyulie @/sims4bradshaw @/ebonixsims @/xmiramira @/sheabuttyr @/qwertysims @/oplerims @/sleepingsims @/shespeakssimlish and so many more im forgetting probably (im too shy rn to tag ppl but i greatly appreciate y’all fr i hope y’all telepathically get this message somehow 😭).

last but not least, i am hoping that this inspires somebody to keep creating or start creating regardless of what they think their skill level is! somebody will absolutely fall in love with your work and/or your art/work will 100% change someone's game forever <333

[noircheols]

⸺ NO ORDINARY LOVE. 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

an anthology of love stories almost never told.

PREFACE. love has been far from perfect. you thought you would stumble upon prince charming organically. unfortunately, this is a big fat joke in the 21st century. reluctantly, you open the app store and download something you always believed were better off for finding potential enemies or friends with benefits... a dating app. it’s time to give your phone cupid’s bow and see who it hits!

PAIRINGS. svt x reader (seperate)

WARNINGS. suggestive, cursing, varies from fic to fic

SCHEDULE. every monday (i hope.)

TAGLIST. @jjjjeonww @shirebusking @shinwonderful @tokitosun @unlikelysublimekryptonite @wonkierideul @flwrshwa @syluslittlecrows @macapunoz @paradiseoflosers @seokmn @itsclda

open! please feel free to dm/reply/ask

STATUS. ONGOING!

AUTHOR'S NOTE. AAAAA i wanted to write something inspired by hinge's no ordinary love campaign. reading it was so lovely and i wanted to write something alongside the same premises. hinge if ur seeing this please dont sue me </3. THIS IDEA IS NOT MINE AT ALL simply something inspired by it. i hope you all enjoy!! peep the ugly header LMAO graphic design is my least fave thing ever as u can see. happy love month to all the losers (affectionate) who enjoy!! i hope you all find love in the people you adore, the music, food, and most importantly, yourself!!!!

NETWORKS. @kstrucknet

♡ ‎ kisses are always promises ── 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐋

a love story for people who deserve peace of mind and torment themselves for being unable to give others the same.

LIKES : popping boba, working out, my dog kkuma, giving gifts and making them feel special, confidence

DISLIKES : lack of effort, ghosts, fries (got doxxed for this)

♡ ‎ let your habits control you ── 𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐀𝐍

a love story for people who want somebody they can be themselves without any qualms, flaws and all.

LIKES : somebody who keeps me on my toes, napping, taking photos of my pet rock, cashmere pajamas

DISLIKES : somebody who monitors my every behaviour, judgemental

♡ ‎ heaven knows i'm miserable now ── 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐎

a love story for people who are looking for the best in people (and always end up finding the worst).

LIKES : optimism, deer print, sunsets, big smiles, playing guitar, an open heart

DISLIKES : poor manners, gaming, isn't understanding, just don't be a horrible person lol

♡ ‎ swimming fool ── 𝐖𝐄𝐍 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐔𝐈

a love story for people looking to dive head first beyond the surface of dating to understand themselves and their partner.

LIKES : exploring new possibilities but having somebody to call home, cat cafes, matcha, hmu huzz 👅👅👅

DISLIKES : misunderstands me and my humour (or chooses to), isn't on the same wavelength

♡ ‎ i don't wanna watch tv anymore ── 𝐊𝐖𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐆

a love story for people who are scared to pick up their broken hearts and close themselves off from being hurt again.

LIKES : TIGERS, going to the arcade just for the dance machine, somebody to share fun memories with but also can feel safe with

DISLIKES : spicy food, pent up emotions, lack of ambition

♡ ‎ focus ── 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎

a love story for people who know that seeing is believing, that to be loved is to be seen, and that to believe is to love.

LIKES : hoodies, gaming (league of legends, genshin, valorant), reading, somebody to sit in silence with after a long day

DISLIKES : obnoxious, believes things revolve around them

♡ ‎ chocolate strawberries ── 𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐉𝐈𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍

a love story for people who put up walls and are waiting for the right person to knock them down.

LIKES : anime (jujutsu kaisen, naruto, kimi ni todoke), personal space, my personal space being invaded

DISLIKES : my personal space being invaded, physical touch

♡ ‎ keep you close ── 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘𝐔

a love story for people who know what they want, and knowing what you want makes you lonely.

LIKES : cooking, trying new cuisines and restaraunts, unboxing collectibles, being appreciated

DISLIKES : heights, avoidance, mess

♡ ‎ weather forecast ── 𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊𝐌𝐈𝐍

a love story for people who worry about being too much or too little, but never enough.

LIKES : long walks at public parks, cupcake-scented things, visiting the dog shelter, rock music (fun fact i was in a band!!!)

DISLIKES : nothing!!! everybody is awesome and cool in their own way :D

♡ ‎ cloudburst ── 𝐗𝐔 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐀𝐎

a love story for people who don't appreciate what they have.

LIKES : art history, exhibitions, mala xianguo (or any other spicy food)

DISLIKES : being held back, long-term commitments, being deprived of choice, everything

♡ ‎ ‎stuck by the glue ── 𝐁𝐎𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐍

a love story for people who are chronic people pleasers and give to the point of exhaustion.

LIKES : ballads, family, when somebody is caring and affectionate, tangerine flavoured desserts, iced americano

DISLIKES : making somebody upset, being found annoying, chan

‎ ‎♡ ‎ ‎starshy ── 𝐂𝐇𝐖𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐋

a love story for people who deserve to be taken seriously.

LIKES : visiting record stores, charli xcx, cloudy days, making personalized spotify playlists for each other

DISLIKES : dismissive, puts me down

‎ ‎♡ ‎ ‎hot n cold ── 𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍

a love story for people who make up their mind and change it the next minute.

LIKES : somebody who loves having me around, doing everything together, somebody dynamic

DISLIKES : seungkwan (DNI!!!!)

@noircheols do not copy or translate

[avelera]

Do you have any tips in how not to end up with Therapy Speak? I had the immense luck to be diagnosed very early (sarcasm) and so was in therapy pretty much my entire life, which means that Therapy Speak is very natural to me and I struggle with thinking into how normal people would speak about this.

(I started writing one version of my answer and it got REALLY LONG so I'm going to try to keep it high level this time lol even if it is still pretty long)

Really, this question comes down in general to, "How to write realistic dialogue," on the one hand but also, "How to write dialogue that propels my story," on the other.

And let me just level-set by saying how I view "therapy speak" when I discuss it here. I see therapy speak as:

A character using clinical terms to describe their state of mind, emotions, or reasons for certain kind of reactions. E.g. "depression" "anxiety" "overwhelm" etc.

A character exploring their emotions in a clinically-aided manner during conversations and/or to resolve interpersonal conflicts or perceived misunderstandings. E.g. "Sorry I lashed out at you yesterday, my anxiety got the better of me but you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry."

1 ) Consider your setting and characters.

A Medieval Knight Would Not Say That. <- This is a basic tip and I think an obvious one. If your character doesn't live in a time period or world with access to or knowledge of therapy or good mental health practices, it will take your reader out of the story if they suddenly bust out with, "Sorry I overreacted yesterday, I was feeling overwhelmed because of my anxiety."

Frankly, if a story is set anywhere that isn't after the 2010s in certain therapy-friendly population centers in the US, for example, (the US is pretty unique in its widespread access and favorableness to therapy, even compared to Europe and Asia let alone other parts of the world), therapy would still be rare enough that you'd need to tell my how and why this person had access to it and how and why they expect the person they're talking to to also be versed in this sort of framing of conflict resolution or self reflection.

That said, there's still a lot of places in the world and a LOT of demographics where access to therapy or even exposure to it enough to have an understanding of it is pretty rare and even in the US it's very determined by demographics. For example, a 50 year old male school teacher might be open to it, but a 50 year old male truck driver might look at you like you have two heads if you suddenly start talking about your feelings to them in an open and clinical manner.

Then again, real people are varied and nuanced so it's perfectly possible that your grizzled 50 year old truck driver might be binging self-help podcasts on his long drives and be surprisingly very well versed! It could be a really delightful story beat, but you do have to kinda explain to me as the audience how he came across this knowledge since it would be unexpected for him to have it.

Now, this is not to say that no one outside of those exposed to therapy speak has any exposure to introspection or access to their emotions. But, they might not be armed with the clinical terms or techniques.

2 ) Consider what people would say instead.

And when considering what someone would say, consider:

Do they have the clinical terminology to describe what they're feeling?

Do they have the tools to manage their emotions even if they don't have the terminology?

Do they have the tools, terminology, or even the interest in resolving the conflict?

"I'm having a panic attack!" -> "I feel like a giant fist has closed around my lungs, I can't seem to breathe!" - This could be something said by someone who can describe the feelings of a panic attack but doesn't have the knowledge or tools to know what they're experiencing. This could be a Medieval knight speaking or even a totally modern person who doesn't know what a panic attack is or can't believe that a panic attack could happen to them.

Note 1: If you're writing a period piece, plenty of other eras had ways of describing certain feelings, so a Victorian era person might say "melancholia" and mean clinical depression, or a Medieval person could be bipolar and think, idk, maybe that they're possessed or bedeviled by demons. You should inquire into the tools people would have at their disposal, even if they're inaccurate to our modern understanding.

Note 2: Even when people know about clinical terms they might be unable or unwilling to admit clinical things can happen to them. Admitting you have, say, clinical depression can be very scary for people. It could represent a huge change in their life or their self-perception. So they might say something like, "I don't know, I've just been in a very dark place for months and months now." They might be scared to admit this to anyone at all, not unless it's someone they really trust, and even if they trust this person, they might still lash out if they're told, "Uh, buddy, that's depression. You need help." because of what a big shift this might represent to their self-perception. People don't like to hear there's something "wrong" with them or admit it to themselves. Hence, they might be reluctant to admit this at all or if they do, they might downplay it.

"Sorry I lashed out at you, I was overwhelmed and I took it out on you and that wasn't fair." -> "I don't know, it just felt like everything you said kept pissing me off and now I'm pissed off that I yelled at you when it wasn't your fault, which pisses me off even more!" -> This could be someone who doesn't understand the clinical terms AND doesn't have tools to manage their emotions but DOES have an interest in resolving the issue with the other person, albeit not in the calmest manner. This might apply to, say, an angry anime protagonist lol.

"You're the most beautiful girl in the class and I'm not sure if I want you or want to be you, but I haven't come out yet to anyone including myself, so all I have inside me are these big confusing emotions of desire and fear and admiration all mixed together, leaving me unsure of what to do or how I feel about you. I just wish these feelings would go away somehow." -> *Passes crush a note that says*,"Get the hell out of my class!" -> This could be someone who doesn't understand their emotions, doesn't have the tools to express them AND doesn't have an interest in resolving the conflict in a constructive way.

3 ) Consider if resolving the conflict constructively is even good for the story you want to tell.

Stories thrive on conflict. Conflict doesn't need to mean interpersonal drama or screaming arguments or saving the world. But two people sitting down and hashing out all their emotions can act as the climax of the story, in that it resolves and airs out a lot of the simmering tension that could be otherwise used to propel a story further.

For example, a "will they/won't they" love story is resolved when two characters sit down and hash out that they have feelings for each other. That could mark the end of the story entirely. If you feel you've written yourself into a corner, maybe it's because the characters used therapy speak to get everything out there in a constructive way too clearly or too soon and now you've written yourself into a corner if you wanted the story to continue.

(Of course, infinite variations are possible. You could have two characters thoughtfully work out that they DON'T have feelings for each other, only for one to walk away and realize they DO have feelings and now they're worried about revealing those because the other person just laid out so thoughtfully and rationally that they don't have feelings back. Just because people DO communicate doesn't mean the situation can't CHANGE.)

But in order to have characters realistically hold things back, you need to think about the other pressures there might be in their life that would keep two people from sitting down and hashing out every little nook and cranny of thoughts and feelings they might have.

For example, pride or fear - society tends to look down on people, especially male-socialized people, when it comes to openly expressing their emotions. (Or, if you want to divorce it from gendered considerations, let's say a warrior society might or might not be ok with free expressions of emotion that might be considered "weakness".)

Even crying during moments of horrible pain or stress can and has been a source of mockery for many men (and women!), so they could very likely have been socialized out of openly expressing emotions that make them feel vulnerable as a matter of maintaining their pride.

Even if they want to express those emotions, they might fear the negative reaction of the person they're talking to (who could tell them to "stop being a baby!" or "man up!" or "go cry somewhere else!" etc.). This can be especially true for big moments of self-reflection like coming out, or expressing romantic feelings for someone, or expressing that they've been struggling with and masking negative emotions for a long time and are reaching a desperate limit. These are things that can change other people's perspective of you, not always for the better, and the fear of that can prevent people from being open about their feelings.

Personal Note: Too often in fanfic-land, I see fics always coming down on the side of "These fears were silly, the person they're talking to was always going to be understanding and accepting!" which isn't reflective of the real world! Sometimes people, even well-meaning people, might be put off by powerful displays of emotion, or not interested in a relationship through no fault of their own and it DOES make it weird if a friend confesses feelings, and then sometimes people aren't well meaning!

It can be refreshing to see a story that expresses that sometimes these fears of being open and honest about big emotions are valid. Not all family members are cool and understanding about coming out (unless that's the catharsis your story is going for!). Not all people are ok with having someone confess their love for them. Not all people are comfortable with a friend or a comrade in arms saying they're coming close to cracking under the strain.

So these are valid, real life fears, that can serve as valid, real life barriers for why people might not open up to another person and lay out everything they're thinking and feeling as if this person is their therapist.

Generally speaking, the best stories (to me) are the ones that give multiple in-universe reasons why someone doesn't tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in an open, rational, and clinical manner about how they're feeling. The more outside pressures you can layer on, the less visible the hand of the author is, the better. For example:

Time - the characters didn't have time for a long sit down about their feelings. The world is ending/ the big THING is about to happen soon .They had to make the conversation brief.

Not wanting to lose a friendship - Sure, being in a relationship would be great, but losing the friendship if the love confession makes things weird would be terrible.

Not wanting to lose the position/prestige/job you wanted - a warrior or even an office worker might be cracking under the strain of their mental health, but if they ask for help, they could be fired, or shunned, or removed from the mission. They want to keep their position more than they want help, so they'll speak in circles around or minimize the struggles they're facing.

Other stuff gets in the way - when the world is ending or the external events are piling up, it might just not be the right time or place to discuss your innermost feelings. It might be inappropriate to do so if other people are suffering or even dying all around you. Heck, admitting you feel depressed when the person you're talking to just lost a loved one and is in an even darker place might feel deeply inappropriate. So if you've got a lot of characters running around dealing with a LOT of events, sitting down for a therapy-speak conversation might even feel ludicrous to indulge in as many people tend to put their emotions and wellbeing pretty far down on the list of important things to deal with, especially if they haven't been trained or socialized to prioritize them.

Without getting into a more specific story it's hard to give more specific advice. And there's the eternal caveat to all of this that sometimes an open conversation about emotions that is aimed at resolving a conflict or misunderstanding is the point of a story, especially in fanfic which often likes to explore things that canon doesn't do.

Everything should, in the end, be in service to the story you want to tell. This is just my view on some things to think about when trying to write more realistic dialogue. And of course, as always, when in doubt about dialogue, listen to real people and read your dialogue aloud to see if it sounds natural, if natural dialogue is your goal.

[thatpointything]

Just played through all of Look Outside and I came up with headcanons for some of its enemies. Here’s a few.

Baby Teeth

To summarize my thoughts on this malformed infant in a single noise…

Okay now onto headcanons

The skin is black like that because the poor baby’s skin turned into a kind of gum tissue that continually produces teeth of varying sizes. Most of the teeth are microscopic though and number in the tens of thousands.

Some of the teeth fall out, and they take some of the gum tissue with them when they do. They taking root in the floor or in living organisms, eventually becoming ambulatory in the former case and mutating the host in the latter case.

The lower jaw, though functionally useless for eating at this point, can still be used for biting. And Baby Teeth has a bite force of a staggering 400,000 psi.

There’s teeth growing inside its body too. Any wound inflicted on it just turns into another set of gnashing jaws.

The eyes it had pre-mutation are still there, but they’re mostly blind and incredibly sensitive to movement.

Rat King

All hail the king or something like that

Unlike what you might think, this thing is actually a stray dog that was heavily affected by the thing in the sky and sought shelter in the parking garage. The rats came later as the dog, rapidly mutating, started eating them. Then a few of the rats fused with the dog from the inside, mutating the creature even more rapidly. And then the mutating abruptly stopped. Thus, the Rat King was born.

That crown on its many-jawed head actually used to belong to some idiot larper who tried to take it down. The Rat King ate said larper for trying that.

Constantly produces new weird mutated rodents, most of which die upon detaching from its body.

SWAT Truck

ffs no one deserves this fate

When it all started, the person driving the truck caught a long, direct look at it from one of the door mirrors. He seemingly died instantly at first, causing the person in the passenger seat (she also saw it but for a very brief moment) to swerve the truck into the parking garage. Once the truck had come to a stop did the driver start mutating. And it happened alarmingly fast by the standards of mutations caused by looking at the Visitor. Both the passenger up front and the convict in the back were caught in it.

While most of the creature is basically mindless, the central tendril (aka the person in the passenger seat) will occasionally beg for help or even beg for death.

Jeanne

She deserved better imho

Aside from sharing the senses of the other heads (which is REALLY disorienting in more ways than one), the main head (the center one), which houses Jeanne’s consciousness, is unwillingly tapped into the collective consciousness of the rest of the heads. Meaning she constantly hears their thoughts. It’s not pretty.

While the heads all belong to the same entity, their relationship to Jeanne herself is more like the workers of a (rather unwilling) queen ant. If each individual ant had its own agenda.

The extra heads can’t form original sentences. They simply parrot sentences they either overhear or glean from Jeanne’s memories.

The internal workings are so efficient that no waste is produced. In fact, basically every single nutrient that the heads transport to the rest of Jeanne’s body is used for continuous, possibly infinite growth.

[rainerioun]

WHAT'S HAPPENING IN 2025? | pick a card.

— It's been quite a while since I’ve shared a reading, and I want to apologize for that. I’ve been dealing with a lack of motivation and a busy schedule, but I’m feeling better now and eager to share more! I’m still working on a "pick a card" reading that someone requested—it’s on the way. Wishing you all a wonderful 2025, thank you!

HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.

Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.

MUST READ + MASTERLIST. | KO-FI.

PILE ONE

What's Happening In 2025? Five of Swords, Ten of Swords, Six of Pentacles [Reversed].

This new year will teach you what it feels like to face disappointment, but also how to accept it, grow from it, and pursue something better. You may have stepped into 2025 already carrying a sense of failure or conflict in some way. This year is all about focusing on yourself and finding ways to truly support your well-being—not out of obligation, but because you want to. Let go of one-sided dynamics; there’s no need to hold onto imbalances, even if they seem harmless right now. This is your time to reclaim balance and prioritize what you deserve.

Extra! - The Garden and the Gate : Abundant Prosperity, Staying Safe. - Alchemist : Transformation of base motives and goals into golden wisdom. - Saboteur : Highlights your fear of self-empowerment and the changes it would bring into your life.

Every year has felt the same because of your fear of the unknown. What would really happen if you made even a small change? You have the resources—and perhaps even the desire—to explore and follow the path meant for you, but you’ve grown too comfortable where you are. Don’t hold yourself back. It’s time to shift your motives and reignite your drive. That’s how you’ll achieve your true goals. The time for change is now—let go of self-sabotaging tendencies.

PILE TWO

What's Happening In 2025? Ace of Swords [Reversed], King of Wands, Ten of Cups.

In 2025, it's time to step into a "king role" and take charge of your life. Embrace leadership, not just in practical matters but in shaping the bigger picture of your journey. You’ll have a greater purpose to work toward, which might shake things up or even draw judgment from others. But remember, this process is about achieving clarity—both within yourself and in your external world.

When these challenges come your way, rise to the occasion with confidence and boldness. By doing so, you'll attract more stable, lasting relationships—both romantic and platonic—that align with this new phase of your life. Everything will begin to fall into place.

For some, existing relationships may deepen and progress to the next level. For others, new opportunities to connect with the right person may arise. Ultimately, this year is about building a foundation of stability and security in every area of your life.

Extra! - Hostilities : Defenses Up, Aggressive Energy. - The World : Expansion, Opening Up. - The Temple Path : Spiritual Purpose and Support. - Shape-Shifter : Skill at navigating through different levels of consciousness. Ability to see the potential in everything. - Priest : Facilitates spiritual commitments. Serves as a channel for spiritual energy.

A lot of cards came out for this message, reinforcing the idea of standing in your power and holding your ground when faced with challenges or questions. This isn’t the time to fall into people-pleasing, stay true to yourself and your values.

There’s a sense of expansion—this could manifest in your career, relationships, online presence, or general resources. However, a key message I heard is that your location might change. You could be moving to a new place, possibly even returning to your roots or closer to where you or your family originally come from. This shift will bring growth and help ground you in the process.

Everything unfolding now is part of a greater journey. To grow stronger, pay attention to life’s lessons. Whether you lean toward spirituality, religion, or simply what brings you joy, embrace what uplifts you this year. This could also mean leaning on your support system—those people whose wisdom and presence help guide you forward. Let their insights become a part of your strength.

PILE THREE

SENSITIVE TOPICS BELOW ! ↴

What's Happening In 2025? Queen of Swords, Nine of Swords [Reversed], The Devil.

Take this as an opportunity to care for yourself, to treat yourself with love and compassion, as well as believe in the process.

You may need to confront some inner struggles—fear, worry, or unresolved pain—but know that facing these emotions is part of healing. It's crucial to remember that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, or shame. On the contrary, it is an act of courage. Reaching out for support, whether from professionals, loved ones, or trusted resources, can provide clarity and guidance. Honest communication and a willingness to face the truth—however difficult—are vital steps in your journey.

At times, you may feel held back by attachment to an older version of yourself or by habits that no longer serve you. Letting go of this attachment is not easy, but it is necessary. You should not depend on the past or allow it to dictate your future. Progress comes when you take the steps yourself; no one else can do it for you. With effort and perseverance, you will leave behind desperation, rediscover your strength, and find a sense of calm and fulfillment within. Trust in your ability to move forward.

Extra! - Patience : Peaceful Presence, Letting Go of Desperation. - Man Holding A Heart : Male Dealing with Family, Love, or Emotions. - Queen : Radiates the regal feminine. Uses her benevolent authority to protect others. - Child — Magical : Seeing the potential sacred beauty in all things. The belief that everything is possible.

Again, you will find peace—trust in yourself and your ability to get there. Along this journey, a masculine figure in your life, whether romantic or not, may play a significant role in supporting and guiding you. This could be someone new entering your life or someone you already know who steps up.

If this doesn’t resonate, it could reflect your own growth—embracing both emotional and physical strength while balancing qualities often labeled as masculine or feminine. (Stereotypes aside, it’s about finding harmony within yourself.)

As you heal and learn to love yourself fully, this transformation will radiate outward, inspiring and uplifting those around you. I love you!

[jaytalking]

So first thing, love your ecto AU Danny’s design is amazing and I love how you draw Sam too!

I do want to ask, how is Danny treated at school by Dash and the others? (both pre and post accident if he’s more into ghosts like his folks, and he comes in with a really hurt eye and partially paralysed arm with all the scaring)

Thanks ☺️ 👻

I am working on a comic about this! but I don't mind explaining it here (hell, it'll probs help me get my ideas in order better), questions about this Au are very encouraged so don't be shy guys:

Danny has been interested in ghosts for long enough that most of his peers know, even if from 6th grade onwards he attempted to hide it because it wasn't exactly "cool" or "normal". He was bullied a lot, and most of it probably called back to how he was from a family of "crazy people ", I can also see adults playing a part especially in his younger years by trying to gently dissuade him from being like his parents.... All in all this Danny is Isolated more than anything else, he feels alone in his interests with only his parents to turn to. Jazz? Uhhh that deserves it's own thing.

The injury. Ok. The dynamics of the incident are intentionally fuzzy, what you need to know is that Yes. The Fenton parents KNOW the incident happened, they just don't know the full consequences of it (Danny being half ghost). He was taken to the hospital and stayed there for... About a week. I'm not going to get into too much detail here, but the rumours around town were going wild; saying the Fentons had gotten their son injured or worse due to their work, and when Danny eventually went back to school in a sling and with half his face fucked up... Things didn't exactly get better.

In short, Danny isn't really bullied anymore, at least not physically- if anything the popular kids have just taken to pretending he doesn't exist. The teachers and other adults just look at him with varying levels of pity and honestly Danny is just sick of it, on top of dealing with a ton of other things mentally. Thank god for Sam and Tucker.

[slasherscream]

i would love to know which of the crazy ass boys gang would indulge a partner who watches reality tv? whose getting just as invested and angry and who is standing to the side saying it’s dumb and fake? (i know it’s kevin)

❥ who grins and bares it so they can bond with you ❥

Billy Loomis - This is just a bonding activity for Billy. It’s not awful. Nor is it the most fun thing in the world. It’s just one of those tiny moments that relationships are built off. The small bids for connection that build intimacy. You don’t bitch when he wants to watch Psycho for the sixth time in two months. He doesn’t bitch when you turn on trashy TV. He pulls you close, so that you’re sitting in his lap, or laid up against him, and pays enough attention to ask you the odd question or two to clarify what’s going on if he gets lost. What do you mean they switch couples?? When did they start doing that? Last week… oh I bet Luca was pissed. 

David Mccall - David is obnoxious because he pretends to be the type who is upset when you watch without him. He’ll come home, glance at the TV and gasp dramatically: Baby! Why are you watching our show without me?! How far along are you? You watched an entire episode? You know better than that, baby! You gotta rewind it, hold on, I’ll order us some pizza. Can’t believe you’d watch behind my back! This is a ridiculous pantomime that you may or may not pick up on. Mileage varies as always. David couldn’t care less about the reality TV shows you watch. But he likes the way you giggle as you rewind it for him. Or the way you light up when you’re discussing it with him. You used to spend way too much time talking with your friends about this stupid crap. Now you talk to him. Who gives a shit about whatever mindless little thing you’re watching. What David enjoys is your undivided attention. 

Jason Dean/JD - JD also sees this as a bonding activity and bid for connection… However, JD is a born hater. He bonds by talking shit. He’s not necessarily trying to be a bummer about the things you enjoy. He’s just a certified yapper when it comes to shit-talking. If he thinks something is stupid he just can’t sit in silence. This is his most underdeveloped life skill. He’s got ten minutes of quiet in him max. If he does manage to bite his tongue his face gives him away anyways. So what was the point? Will say something pretentious like: “Why are we watching people play out a badly scripted version of their lives through a screen when we could be out living ours, right now? Let’s hop on my bike and just ride, darling! Live a little!” Sir, I just worked an eight hour shift. I need to see someone who doesn’t deserve a rose get sent home in tears. Read the room. Get a grip. 

❥ who is pissed off/devastated when you watch it without them ❥

Sebastian Valmont - What can he say? Sebastian likes to watch people experience psychological torment. He’s trying to turn on the first seasons of “America’s Next Top Model" and watch a girl get sent home in tears after the judges convinced her to shave her head bald to look more fierce.This is the type of quality reality TV that makes Sebastian laugh. Watching people go through their darkest moments in front of a camera that highlights the creases in their cheap makeup is how he likes to spend the occasional date night. You had to put him onto reality tv shows, but now he’s hooked. He probably watches more reality TV than you do. If we’re being honest. You think this might be how he gets to still live out his glory days of being an unrepentant asshole. Sometimes he sighs a little too wistfully when someone is being a monster. 

Jordan Li - Jordan enjoys anything you do together. Even if they hate a particular activity, at least they’re spending time with you. Still, there are reality TV shows that Jordan really likes, such as: home improvement shows, “Say Yes to the Dress'', “Face Off”, “American Ninja Warrior”, and “RuPaul's Drag Race”. And then there are shows that Jordan puts on a brave face about. Things like “Love Island” and “Jersey Shore”. Jordan gets queasy just scrolling past them. There was a time before they became one of Brink’s favorites that their parents kept pushing them to try and be an entertainment Supe. No one is taking you that seriously, anyways! Maybe you’ll do better in the reality TV circuit. It’s unlikely Jordan will ever get stuck in projects like that now. They’ve proven they can be a heavy hitter. Proven that they’re strong enough to not need to sell themselves as cheap, easily-digestible, entertainment. Still, they don’t like thinking of the alternate world where they’re having to sit in front of a camera and do twenty retakes of “authentic” confessional room venting.

Stu Macher - He likes reality TV and doesn’t care who knows. Hooray! A shared interest… except watching these shows with him will piss you the fuck off. He has dog-shit opinions about everything. You will never be rooting for the same people. You will never agree on who handled a situation better. He’s always rooting for the asshole, it seems. You don’t even think he’s doing it to be contrary or to make you mad. He’s genuinely on their side (most of the time… he does enjoy making you mad.) Watching reality TV with Stu makes you want to kill him. It also makes you look at him funny. Why are you always siding with the bastards? You don’t think Ekin-Su needed to apologize? Stu, are you out of your fucking mind?

Josh Washington - You’re gonna try to tell me that the twins weren’t making him paint toenails while they pulled all nighters of “The Bachelor”? Sure, okay, if you’d like to believe that. And his inner circle consists of Emily and Jess? Please. He’s been watching trashy TV for years. He’s watched a little of everything. He is so well acquainted with the dark underbelly of reality TV that it would roll over for a tummy rub from him. It knows his scent. He can easily keep track of the names, faces, and plots. Who’s fucking who. Who hates who. Who’s forming secret alliances. You’ll probably be more lost than Josh ever gets. He’s a day one. He’s an OG. 

❥ who is pissed off to even be hearing about it second-hand ❥

Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves - He has better shit to do than watch reality TV show crap all day, and so do you. These are the kinds of harsh words that will be waiting for you if you try and get him to watch anything fun with you. Ask him one too many times and, like a parent who is annoyed that you are bothering him, he will begin to fill up any moment of free time the two of you have with activities. No, babe, we can’t watch “90 Day Fiance.” Why? Because we’ve got to run the marathon for kids with cancer and then we’ve got dinner with the mayor after that. You two are gonna be booked and busy. You were obviously bored. Now you won’t have time to even think!

Kevin Khatchadourian - Please don’t remind him so blatantly of his own intellectual superiority over you (he’s an asshole.) He gets the ick of the century when you try and tell him what happened during one of your little…programs. If you have the audacity to take it a step further and ask him to watch with you? He’s rendered speechless. Since when is this relationship a safe space? He doesn’t enjoy well-written, heart-stopping, incredible genre-defining movies and television. And yet, somehow, you’re so delusional you think he’s gonna sit through reality television with you? Don’t piss him off. He doesn’t even bother responding. Enjoy the view of his back as he walks away!

❥ secret fourth worse thing ❥

Nathan Prescott - Nathan is once again in a category of his own, which you might call: too nosy to not get into it, but doesn't want you to know he enjoys it. He made fun of you when you first started to watch reality TV. He can’t go back on his word now. If you were cuddling on the couch he’d have his face turned into your stomach and dramatically roll his eyes at your absentminded head rubbing. Could we focus on what’s important please? But then the plots started thickening and the heated exchanges started to pique his interest. He knew he was cooked when he started recognizing names, who was booed up with who… wait that disloyal prick hooked up with who this week?! He tells you to just replay the episode because you’re explaining it shitty and you obviously want him to watch it and talk to you about it. It isn’t for his benefit at all. Turn the subtitles on, god dammit.

A/N: this was really fun! how did you know i've been watching reality TV shows lately?? if you enjoyed these headcanons consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writers fuel is engagement. xoxoxo