#also uh. rape survivor things.

[duerede]

A thing about Astarion I don't see talked about very often is that my good time boy cannot executive function. If you ask him to elaborate on any plan he goes, uh i dont knoooooow stop asking. He has been winging it since before you were born and he doesn't intend change now. Wouldn't know a step 2 if he met one. Any plan he has is just to show up and see what happens.

[butchdykekondraki]

its time for scp required reading... TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please for the love of god heed the fucking warnings im so serious . like as much as i want to keep the tone of this post jokey and funny you NEED to heed the warnings on these

ok with that out of the way. read about my blorbos boy

''incident 239-b clef-kondraki'' (general warning for violence and blood/gore) - this one fucks. thats all i have to say about it

''technical issues'' - this one's funny + im biased because i fucking love pat the tech guy

''routine psychological evaluations by doctor glass'' - again i have personal bias about this (<- simon glass enjoyer + host is a glass introj) + this ones funny + if you're more into the fanon versions of the foundation staff this is right up your alley

''tradition'' - halloween party fun :-)

''dr cimmerian hits reply all'' - this is exactly what it sounds like i don't now what to tell you

''stupid cupid / stupid cupid: stop picking on me!'' - my house my rules read about cimmerian and his boytoy

''hawaiian shirts'' - clef fucking Breaks. thats all i can say about this without exploding into viscera

''help me my (love for) my daughter was born too still'' (general warning for mentions of child death) - i have personal bias about this (<- #1 agatha rights enjoyer) but this tale is So Good in general and a super interesting look at how agatha perceives herself and her work/life balance

''so leave yourself alone.'' (warning for graphic depictions of vomit and attempted suicide) - REALLY really really good look at clef kind of dropping his cruel persona and iris' mental health struggles regarding the foundation

''yesterday'' (warning for violence and implied/reference suicide. kind of.) - :-( <- this is the only way i can express my emotions about this tale. anyway it's really good and an interesting way of showing clefs relationships with people

''an apple a day...'' - REALLY good look at how dr glass is as a person and how he acts with people + this entire tale fucks SEVERELY

''personal log of dr gears / personal log of █████ 'iceberg' ████'' - good example of how gears and iceberg both format their documents / how they speak + its vaguely gearsberg + this gives a look at how gears and iceberg met. read the gearsberg tale boy

''portraits of your father'' (warning for graphic alcoholism, suicide, survivors guilt, and blood/gore) - super good look at draven and his relationship with his father, and kondraki's alcoholism, and also talloran is there. also three cheers for dravoran

''life's cold'' - most normal day iceberg has at this fuckass foundation + this is a good look at how iceberg acts and thinks

''fond memories'' (warning for death and body horror) - draven proposes! Draven proposes.

''scp-3999'' (warning for bugs, paranoia, death, body horror, sexual assault/rape, unreality, self harm, and depictions of bodily mutilation) - unironically this one fucks me up so bad its so fucking good dude. go read about james talloran RIGHT NOW

''i stared into the face of everything and nothing and made it back alive'' - this one also fucks me up so bad like i dont even have anything to say. read about talloran and draven RIGHT NOW

''you are at the center of everything that happens to you'' - james talloran talks to himself. kind of.

''a suicide note'' (warning for mentions of rape, child murder, survivors guilt, and suicide) - interesting look at clefs thoughts on him and his work

''date night'' - objectum win! dr alto clef is objectoromantic AND objectosexual! <- that should tell you all you need to know about this one

''scp-4231 / montauk house'' (warnings for graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, child abuse/neglect, murder, domestic violence, verbal/physical abuse and survivor's guilt) - absolutely gut-wrenching look at alto clef/francis wojciechoski and why he's so fucked up. uh genuinely do read the warnings on this one because when i say graphic i am not exaggerating. all of these things are explored in detail and are genuinely triggering so.

''okay, that's enough, let's get you home'' (warnings for some dubious make-out sessions, (mentioned) suicide, implications of rape/sexual assault, and vomit) - shameless moldhouse plug sorry not sorry. HIGHLY recommend reading this and it's other parts in their entirety because it genuinely drives me up the fucking wall it is So good. i will sing moldhouses praises until my throat goes out. read moldhouse Now

''duke 'till dawn'' - bpd king!!!!! anyway i dont have a lot of thoughts on this its just really good. also i didnt know dracula was an actual scp until i read this which is kind of funny to me

''rights' birthday party'' - my house my rules you're going to read about agatha rights whether you like it or not

''sex at a frigid temperature'' - again, my house my rules. read the depressing gearsberg tale, boy.

''7 things that new level 3 researchers should know'' - i dont have any thoughts on this i just think this one has really cool formatting

''home is where i want to be'' - no greater thoughts this is just really neat i think. also kiryu labs is in it and im biased as fuck

''gentle wings flutter quietly in the dark'' - read about zyn kiryu NOW

[recoord]

The importance of the allegations against Neil Gaiman being public

Claire on the podcast: Am I Broken: Survivor Stories.

S4 Ep2 - Claire "I Ignored It and I Believed Him Because He's the Storyteller [Neil Gaiman]"

"There are a few reasons why I'm coming forward now. And honestly, most of them have to do with how things went that first time that I tried. Um, that was back in 2019 that I first tried to share my story, and I reached out to a handful of journalists and I had several conversations off the record, but... Yeah, that message I got, across the board, was pretty much that what happened to me wasn't enough to establish a pattern of behavior. Because I was just one person, and back then everyone was looking for a serial rapist, right, like not one-off creeps."

"So when the journalist said what happened to you isn't enough to establish a pattern of behavior, what I heard, of course, was that what happened to you wasn't enough. And I was really shaken by that experience."

"It turns out – I wasn't the only one. Uh, three weeks ago from the date of this recording, uh, two other women came forward with allegations against him of rape and sexual assault. And one is – was in 2002, and the second in 2022. So my experience falls right in the middle of that, in 2012, and – that's a pattern! So, I decided to come forward, and ... knowing what I know now, I – I wish I'd come forward sooner, like I – no – (sigh) it just – it broke my heart hearing how one of the victims, Scarlett, had been googling "neil gaiman sexual assault" when she was trying to piece together what had happened to her, because I did the same thing! For years!"

"I was – I felt so alone, back then, and I don't want any of his victims to feel that way ever again. So, I'm sharing my experience, in solidarity, to support those women who've come forward and the people who will, and the people who can't. And... I'm also doing this for myself, as a... continuation of my healing. And I've never told my story so completely before. And... I'm choosing to do that through this podcast, because in this space, unlike in most spaces, it's not about him. It's about me, and my story."

Credits for the transcript to ErsatzHaderach Thanks a lot!

[stabbyfoxandrew]

good morning and happy wipwednesday <3

I'm so happy to see you're excited to write this week and I'll humbly request arsonist!neil

also happy valentines day (if that's what people say we don't really have that in my country) <3

WIP Wednesday (2/14) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 95)

As usual, Andrew is the first to board the Fire Bus. He taps his foot against the floorboard and waits for a couple minutes before the rest of his motley crew finally get their ducks in a row. Boyd is the next to show, dropping into the driver’s seat like a block of lead. He turns the engine over and starts tapping an address into the GPS monitor. Andrew doesn’t give it a second thought, until Renee climbs up. 

She glances up into the front and gasps, “Matt, are we going to St. Agnes’?”

Ah, that’s why it was familiar.

“Uh, yeah.” Boyd says, half turning in his seat.

Renee’s eyes widen and her hand comes to cover her mouth. “Oh no. Did they say how bad?”

“No, but it’s gonna be fine. Best in the business on our way,” Boyd smiles. “As soon as my wife gets in here.”

The passenger door opens and Wilds hops in as if on cue. “I’m ready, let’s roll.”

“It’ll be alright, Renee.” Andrew says softly. Renee nods, then says something under her breath that must be a prayer.

—

There is not a fire at St. Anges’. There is nothing at all going on at St. Agnes’, well except for Mass. Andrew isn’t exactly sure what that means, but when the truck rolls up an old guy wearing robes comes out.

“There isn’t any fire. I don’t know who could’ve called that in.” He says, looking confused. “Service is just about to start, if you’d like—”

At that, Andrew turns on his heel and returns to his beloved backseat. He’d rather lick the trucks’ tires— all six of them— than listen to that. He sighs and pulls off his coat to drop it on the bench beside him. False alarms are better than having to stand in an inferno for hours, Andrew thinks. If his evening is going to be free, he can spend it talking to a certain idiot instead.

It only takes a couple more minutes for the rest of the team to return. And once they’re inside, Boyd starts up the truck— again— and turns them back towards the station. Renee gives Andrew a look before shaking her head.

“What.”

“You know what. That was really rude. Father Paul is very nice.”

“He’s not my Father,” Andrew says, crossing his arms. “And I don’t see why he felt the need to invite us in. We aren’t vampires. Or are we?”

“Andrew,” Renee rolls her eyes, then laughs. 

“Perhaps St. Agnes put out the fire for us,” Andrew says, contemplatively. “Can’t saints do that kind of thing?”

“Actually… Maybe. But St. Florian is the saint of firefighters,” Renee says.

“And Agnes is what? The saint of golfers?”

“Nope. Rape survivors."

“Oh." Andrew sits there with his foot in his mouth for a second. "Well, good for her.”

[coldresolve]

I’m sorry if this comes off as ignorant, that is not my intention.

What is torture apologia? I haven’t been able to find a specific definition and it’s confusing for me. What does it look like in regard to the whump community? On top of that, what are some ways to avoid this in writing?

If you don’t want to type out a response to this, how can this be researched? You make some good points in your post about it, and I want to make sure my own writing isn’t based on stereotypes and misinformation about the subject. I am very, very new to the “whump” community, so I don’t fully understand the ways that torture apologia might be displayed in some of the popular writings.

Thank you for your time, and I apologize if this comes off as ignorant or confrontational.

hey no worries, youre not gonna offend me by asking a clarifying question. what pisses me off are the people who flat out dismiss everything i have to say without actually engaging with it. youre nowhere close to that lmao i promise

uh. i use the sexual assault r-word a bit here, because i just came up with a good rule of thumb that requires drawing similarities between torture and r-word, so. trigger warning if you dont wanna read that

there is no real definition of torture apologia out there, but i treat it in the same way i would rape apologism. and i actually think theres real worth in keeping with that similarity, because rape is considered a form of torture. so like. yeah

id go as far as to say you can switch out "torture" with "rape" in your story to see if the logic holds up, if you might be saying something you don't want to say. for example, "my hero tortures the bad guy, and this is framed as a form of vigilante justice", swapped with rape, uh, might not exactly be the sorta message you would want to send lol. your hero can torture the bad guy ofc, im not saying they can't, but you better be ready to grapple with the full fucking depth of morality of a situation like that

off the top of my head, things i'd steer clear of:

anything that implies that torture is useful for any purpose. torture just traumatizes people, that's about it, and it's dangerous to spread ideas about whatever imagined utility, because your average person has zero grasp on basic ethics - this is what turns your "useful" torture into "sometimes justified". a third of people globally believe torture can be justified "in some cases". like i can't stress how real this issue is

torture works as an interrogation method or as a way to obtain false/forced confessions (useful)

torture can be used to make someone obedient (useful)

torture can be used to change people's beliefs (useful)

torture can be used to brainwash people/control them (useful)

stockholm syndrome through torture is included in ^ (useful and also just. ehh)

any variant of the ticking time bomb scenario (useful + justification)

torture being portrayed as "scientific"; torturers being "experts" in the "skill" or "art" of torture (implies utility)

when the bad guy does it, it's torture; when the good guy does it, it's vigilante justice (justification)

there's a handful of ideas people use a lot in fiction that i wouldn't necessarily categorize as apologia, but which do still send a message you maybe should think twice about sending. torture victims/survivors being "broken", they'll never be able to live full, happy lives, etc. and there's also this idea that torture only negatively affects the person who is being tortured. i especially think showing the effects torture has on perpetrators is worthwhile, but that might just me having a weird fascination with perpetrator trauma. torture also tends to fuck up the organizations that use it, so

[the80srewinders]

What the fuck is wrong with your cyber dependent ass. Why the fuck do you hate people who go offline for five minutes. Oh, yeah, because you're too retarded and crippled to have a life outside of the Internet you worthless fuck. Real people with real trauma don't spend that much time online you dumbfuck. Real people with real trauma have real jobs and therapy, shit you don't have or else your pussy ass wouldn't throw around sui threats. Your Internet addicted trauma-free weak ass and zoomer screen zombies like your poser ass are why we have so many fucking toxic DID communities, and fucking frankly, why we have only DID communities because you fake ass fucks are fascinated by DID. I've already called out your fake pussy ass for faking CSA, your last post just gave me another tool in exposing your faker poser ass. I mean, we all know you're faking trauma and DID because you admitted yourself you ain't got shit that the "valid survivors" do and that's your fucking words not mine. Instead of chronic pain, chronic fatigue or chronic illness, your weak pussy ass ended up chronically online and we all know chronically online people don't have shit wrong with them physically and you can fucking bet they never had trauma a day in their lives. People who use the Internet too much like you are toxic ass bimbos. I hope your iPad gets taken away so you can finally go out into the real world, touch some fucking grass and for God's sake, get raped while you're at it. Then you'll know the pain us real trauma survivors deal with.

poor attempt at tryna be "gangsta" 😹

first off i wouldn't be cyber dependent or wtv if we had people irl who supported us besides therapists, you don't know the situation you're just jumping to conclusions because you're a bigot

i don't hate people who go offline. I hate people who hate technology, hate the Internet, etc. and I hate people who are dumb like u n generalize the Internet as a whole as bad when it's not, it's js trolls like u on social media that make ppl think dat

besides resources on the Internet saved our life at our most low points, ofc wed defend technology especially Internet, how fkn ableist can u b

thanks, I already knew that and yk what? I can fucking kms if it would make u feel better bc I've hated myself for those reasons years before i was allowed on the internet 😘

first off... do u even hv real trauma? sure doesn't sound like it from the asks u been sendin atp or else you'd know us trauma survivors flock online bc it's a dangerous thing to talk ab irl. for reasons I shouldn't hv to state if ur a real trauma survivor. which I doubt u r 😹

your ask about me faking CSA because I wasn't hypermobile is a line of shi. ain't no1 out there who's rly been sa'd gon believe that or u.

uh bish how the fuck do u know wat I do and don't? for your fuckin information I hv been in therapy for DID treatment since dx in Nov 2022. n js bc I can't get legally employed doesn't mean I don't do shi for ppl that the body is able to do, which ain't much but it's smt like u js be tryna judge my life and what u think I do atp

also ik wtf i said.

I ain't fascinated by DID bitch I wish I didn't live w it. if u actually read any of my posts on our personal experiences you'd know how much I hate it. but mk, that doesn't fit wit ur narrative so u had to gloss over dat n move on

haha u contradict urself here. "chronically online people don't have anything wrong with them physically" bitchhh do u hear urself how u sound. first u were goin off on me bc I was too "crippled" which is an ableist slur for a physically disabled person now ur sayin I ain't got shi wrong w me. damnnn you js hate chronically online ppl atp like wtf is ur problem. being online literally every hour ur awake isn't healthy n I don't stand for dat but I also don't do dat either 😘 I'm online a lot and never go outside unless it's to go out in public but I do hella offline indoor activities too, bc yk that's a thing

i know imma bimbo, ur js jealous bc u don't have a sex life 😘 maybe if you stopped touching grass youd hv a sex life too

i already said this before n I ain't gon say it again i neva had an ipad. also thanks for telling me to get raped, i actually hv hundreds of times n as much as dat sounds like a stretch or made up, I can assure u 100% it's true n my fkn body is messed up from being raped so many fkn times. I've been raped again this yr and u don't know how many times I get sa'd by family members. u ain't no real trauma survivor or else u wouldn't wish dis on som1. fuck you bish.

[lemonhemlock]

I really think some Green fans need to get real and realize the show will never portray a clearly young girl (we don't know the character's age but the actress was 15 years old during S1 filming - it's just vile to pretend her character was making everything up) lying about getting raped and setting poor Aegon up. Also, he was never confused when Alicent confronted him about what he had specifically done, in fact, the dialogue between them heavily implies this was not the first time this happened. He also never denied the accusation which I think he would've if the "it was a set-up" scenario was true. Anyway I doubt Dyana will knowingly be involved in the B&C affair either like some people from the other side keep hoping for. If she's going to provide information about the hour Helaena and her children are visiting Alicent or anything of the sort then it will likely be the some manipulation from Mysaria's part. I highly doubt Misaryia is going to say to Dyana "I know he wronged you and you want justice. How about we kill his heir?" and she'll be like "yeah let's do that". Her being a part of B&C is the second worst arc she could possibly have after the fake rape plot some are suggesting (or just as bad) because in no way one can ever claim that an innocent child getting beheaded in front of his mother would be an epic revenge story the audience will be cheering. I don't believe the writers will choose either of these two options.

yeah, the reason aegon turns the waterworks on and looks confused is because mummy hit him, not because mummy unjustly accused him. i realise some fans are hoping against hope and there's nothing wrong with daydreaming about a perfect pro-green world (i wish LOL), but, unfortunately, there's no "fixing" the dyanna situation. portraying young girls as manipulative liars when it comes to rape is just way more damaging than portraying a rapist prince on screen. we need to believe women and normalize that in our media, not to give more ammunition to dismissive narratives.

if the writers, say, had a change of heart and realised the error of their ways (i know, bear with me) or regretted the lost opportunity they had with aegon or whatever else. AT MOST, they could maybe retcon the child fighting pits thing bc aegon is never actually shown in there, so, if they REALLY wanted, they could never mention it again and pretend it didn't happen. but dyanna already got a pretty emotional scene where she was scared out of her mind and pleading with alicent + aegon basically admitted his guilt in the very next scene, so there's not much to do about that, other than reshoot the episode or re-edit it to remove that sideplot, which is obviously never going to happen ever. also, say what you will, but it was a pretty big deal that alicent believed her, no questions asked, and provided her with contraception and financial compensation, instead of punishing her and going "nuh-uh, not MY son"

like, "house of the dragon fake rape plot angers SA survivors and women's rights organizations" is not a good headline to have unless their aim is to turn it into The Idol with dragons

the good news, though, is that aegon is not real, so, as beings who exist in three dimensional spaces & outside screen and paper, we can acknowledge it as a controversial writing choice, accept it as an L and just move on with our lives. you don't have to agree with it & there is ample room to critique it, but it's also time to (gently) advance with the five stages of grief. the damage is already done, i'm afraid, we just have to take it on the chin and carry on.

i also agree that dyanna actively participating in b&c would be a mistake and not smth aspirational for her character (i have already breached this topic in her tag for curious cats). but i'm not convinced i trust the writers 100% NOT to go down this path bc they have sure shown that they can have a very simplistic understanding of female badassery and emancipation sometimes, re: how rhaenys killing civilians doesn't matter. all the more frustrating, because, had they moved the set around a little, she could have flown out dramatically on meleys without killing anyone, while maintaining all the benefits of the scene. but it seems they're not immune to shock just for the sake of shock.

anyway, as with all speculation, i am simply just talking out of my arse right now and cannot judge any aspect of S2 without seeing it first. episodes can be filmed with more than one version for various plots and who knows what they'll choose in the end. dyanna's actress may be filming scenes, but do we have any assurance those scenes will even make it in the show? there's no certainty they won't end up cutting them and editing the episode around her. so she can act out the most Kill Bill variant of her character and by the time next year rolls around it's on the cutting room floor

[nikkisreading]

Play Me by Ker Dukey and K. Webster

★★★☆☆

Overall, I think this was a cute story. I went into it knowing the MMC was using sex to help the FMC through a traumatic experience and that's exactly what I got. I don't think the summary gives the right impression? This isn't a dark romance, it just deals with CNC (consensual non-consent) and a rape survivor.

The prologue is the darkest part of the story, as it follows Quinn the night she was raped in college. Sets everything up from her walking home from a party, a cop picking her up, the cop tearing off her clothes, and then it cuts to another scene. It also establishes that she's had a CNC fantasy from long before the rape. From there, we jump to the present where Quinn has asked Joshua to help her explore her fantasy.

Which leads me to my biggest complaint about the book. Both Quinn and Joshua talk about CNC as something terrible and dark and awful. Which really didn't make sense to me. For Quinn? Totally. I can absolutely understand the shame and confusion and secrecy of having that fantasy. But Joshua, the owner of a sex club that caters to all sorts of kink? Uh…what?? Sure, this particular fantasy goes into the hunt/prey, but that's…also not an uncommon kink. Like at all. So to refer to it as rare and dark and forbidden in-book was weird. (Not to mention how this book is called a dark fantasy? It's a fluff piece with a tragic backstory about learning to trust again. I cannot ever call this book dark.)

(Second biggest complaint is that the writing style was a little more telling than showing at times. There was a wealth of emotion running through the book, but it wasn't as present as it could have been. Added to the POV choices, it felt like the reader watched the characters react to the story rather than watching the story unfold.)

It was still cute, though. I liked the progression between the two characters, how Joshua was piecing things together has he was falling for her and how Quinn was opening up to Joshua as she was accepting herself. It was a nice glimpse into their lives.

[metize]

His Obsession (Danny Johnson - The Ghost Face- x AFAB!Reader) (NSFW

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con

Additional Tags: Reader-Insert, Mildly Dubious Consent, You know how Danny is, Boot Worship, AFAB reader, Reader is a survivor, Degradation, Humiliation, Verbal Humiliation, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Dom/sub, Physical Abuse

Summary:

“My last trial was against Ghost Face”

“Oh, that guys sucks.” You groaned, “The worst part is the whole photography thing… It’s so… unnerving.” You couldn’t help but say your piece when they mentioned the killer. He had to be one of your least favorites to face. The way you had to always look behind you, the feeling of being watched, it was creepy.

“Photography thing?” Jake tilted his head “Like, when the picture he takes for his mori?”

“Uh… yeah but also every other time he’s taking pictures of you, when you’re screaming on the hook, when you’re crawling on the floor, you know? Those pictures?” You were a bit confused, your attempt to relate to them going over their heads.

“I don’t remember him doing that…” Dwight looked over at Nea who nodded.

“What do you mean? He’s always taking pictures of me, isn’t that something he does to everyone?”

or

Reader attracted the wrong kind of attention.

You were all sitting around the campfire as another group of four people returned from their trial, their faces were tired and you offered them a sympathetic smile.

“How did it go?” Jake asked Nea as she sat down, she shook her head and sighed.

“All sacrificed, bastard took us all to the basement…” she answered with annoyance in her voice.

“Who was it?” Ace chimed in.

“Ghost Face.”

“Oh, that guys sucks.” You groaned, “The worst part is the whole photography thing… It’s so… unnerving.” You couldn’t help but say your piece when they mentioned the killer. He had to be one of your least favorites to face. The way you had to always look behind you, the feeling of being watched, it was creepy.

“Photography thing?” Jake tilted his head “Like, when the picture he takes for his mori?”

“Uh… yeah but also every other time he’s taking pictures of you, when you’re screaming on the hook, when you’re crawling on the floor, you know? Those pictures?” You were a bit confused, your attempt to relate to them going over their heads.

“I don’t remember him doing that…” Dwight looked over at Nea who nodded.

“What do you mean? He’s always taking pictures of me, isn’t that something he does to everyone?” You ask nervously.

“Wait, wait, explain, he just takes pics of you all the time?” Nea smirked in amusement “That’s kind of hilarious, maybe you’re his muse.”

The others laughed along and so did you, you playfully push Nea and shook your head.

You and the other survivors keep talking and trying to ease the post-trial depression, you were smiling along with them but you couldn’t help but start zoning out thinking about the revelation that you were the only one facing Ghost Face’s camera all throughout the trials. He would hook you and quickly snap a picture, never shutting up about how pretty you looked bleeding out for him.

It was disgusting of course, but you didn’t take it personally because you assumed this creepy attitude extended itself to all survivors. The realization that it wasn’t the case sent shivers down your spine and a strange heat to your cheeks.

You couldn’t help but feel a bit flattered. You felt disgusted at yourself for feeling this way and immediately repressed the thought immediately. You were definitely not looking forward to your next trial with the masked man.

Alas, the Entity had a sick sense of humor. In your very next trial you were face to face with Ghost Face, not only that but you were the last one alive. You were running as fast as you could, he chased you down with his knife and you knew you were done for, you were never the best at evading killers in a chase. You vaulted over a window only to feel the blade of his knife slashing your back, you felt it again, the hit sending you straight to the ground.

“Did I ever tell you how much I love seeing you like this?” he said, wiping his bloodied knife on his sleeve before reaching for his camera. “On the ground writhing in pain completely at my mercy… let’s turn you over, show your pretty face to the camera, hm?”

He kicked your side and you whimpered as you rolled over with your back to the floor looking up at the man towering above you. “Beautiful… that’s it…” he breathed before pressing his leather combat boots on your chest, the pressure didn’t hurt but felt extremely humiliating. Worse yet, it was kind of hot. You looked away from him in shame, making him tut you in disappointment. He pushed his boot on your neck forcing your chin upwards and your gaze towards the camera again. “If you try to look away again I’ll gorge out your eyeballs, kitten”

“Just… kill me already, what are you doing?” You said through gritted teeth.

“Ah, you wound me, can’t I just enjoy our time together while it lasts?” His boot pressed harder against your chest now hurting you for real. “I just can’t get enough of you, you look so cute when you’re scared.”

“Oh I wound you? That’s rich.” You scoffed and that earned you a chuckle from him. He then crouched down and reached for your neck, just holding it as he straddled your body.

“You do and you should be more appreciative if you ask me,” his grip tightened, the rough fabric of his gloves bruising your skin as he did so, before letting go entirely. You gasped for air as he let go, coughing trying to catch your breath. “God… I just love watching you squirm,” he let his hands wander to your chest groping you through your clothes. You gasped feeling his touch reaching under your blouse.

“W-wait what are you doing?” You asked before moaning as he pinched your nipples.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” he laughed at your reaction and reached for his knife and cut the fabric, annoyed at the barrier keeping him from you. “Aren’t you done pretending you don’t feel this?” he traced your skin lightly with the knife admiring the newly exposed area “This connection, this bond we share… don't you feel it?"

"You're insane…" you shook your head still trembling, he chuckled.

"Ah… you just need a bit convincing, I'm sure" he stabbed the ground right next to your face, making you shudder "because I feel it, baby. When I get to a trial and see your pretty ass crouching over a generator it makes me so happy. Hell, I even began visiting your little campsite just to watch you, you're driving me crazy…"

"W-wait, wait! Stop it!" You try to push him away again, but it was no use, he wouldn't budge. The struggle was annoying him so he grabbed your wrists and pushing them to the ground pinning you arms above your head.

"Look at you, you're trying so hard" his condescending tone pissed you off, you tried to kick him but you couldn’t angle yourself properly to manage a good hit. "Listen here." His other hand grabbed your throat, his tone was now dark. "I'm getting a little tired of your disobedience, kitten." He raised his hand before striking your face. The shock and the pain made you stop, feeling your whole body freeze. He pushed his thumb into your mouth, forcing you to suck on the gloved digit. "I know you're enjoying this, you know you're enjoying this. So stop. Making. A scene."

You looked away, you repeated to yourself that he was wrong, you weren’t enjoying this. But you were. A dark side of your mind reveled in the pain, in the humiliation, in the disparity of praise and punishment. The daze of having to confront these shameful feelings left you vulnerable for the man to stop restraining you, instead pulling down your pants. He touched you over your panties, you couldn't help but moan at his ministrations.

“I knew you’d give in, knew I could make you my slut.” He laughed at your predicament “Look at how wet you are for me, kitten.” He punctuated his phrase by moving your underwear to the side and plunging two fingers inside, you gasped at the intrusion “See how easily that went in?” His face was right next to yours, the words made you blush and hide your face.

He was loving your reactions, but he was impatient. He had waited for this, he’d been planning this so carefully, he came over pictures of your bloody exhausted body more time than he could count. He stripped you naked, exposing you completely to him before he pulled out his cock from his pants.

You felt the head press against your soaked entrance, you shivered in anticipation and couldn’t help but give him a pleading look. He filled you with a single thrust, his hand immediately moving to your neck, the stretch hurt, you hadn’t had anything going in there ever since you entered the fog. You screamed and he chuckled when you grasped his shroud for support as he started thrusting inside you.

“You’re mine, slut, your body belongs to me, your cunt belongs to me, you belong to me.” He growled, his movements were harsh and violent. He was possessive and at that moment you couldn’t help but believe his words.

His hand travelled down your body grabbing your breasts before pulling your legs over his shoulders. The new angle made you moan, as the pain started giving place to pleasure, you couldn’t keep your voice down, with pleased Danny immensely. “That’s right… Fucking scream for me.”

He grabbed your waist pulling your body to meet his thrusts, his cock now reaching your sweet spot and your clit begged for attention, the bundle of nerves getting teased every time your hips met. You were desperate, it had been too long, you shook your head in shame and disbelief. You couldn’t believe you’d let a killer fuck you, much less make you come. Ghost Face noticed it immediately.

“Take my mask off, slut, I want you to look me in the eyes when you cum.” Your eyes widened, you weren’t expecting him to actually allow you to see his face. He grunted as he picked up the pace “Do it, whore.”

You eagerly reached for the white mask pushing it upwards letting it rest on top of his hood. His face, you were looking at his face. The intimacy of the gesture left you speechless but more importantly, he was hot. His hair was short and messy, his eyes were sunken and his stare was manic. He looked like a mess, a fucking psycho, because that’s what he was. You hated yourself even more for finding him attractive, his lips curved into a pedantic smirk. His movements got frenetic and his hand reached to brush you clit, making you scream and beg him.

“Please, please, please…” You pleaded, the pleasure coursing through your veins felt like lava. Your pussy ached for release. “Please l-let me cum…”

“Shit… you’re already begging, I didn’t have to say a thing” He chuckled, the clear sound of his voice now unrestricted by the mask sent shivers down your spine “Do it, I want you to know who owns you, who’s making you feel this good, cum for me, slut.”

“Ah! Yes…!” A loud moan escaped your lips, the fluttering spikes of pleasure finally culminating into a bursting orgasm, your hands clutched into fists, the man’s clothes still in your grasp, as you tried to ground yourself. Danny didn’t stop thrusting, the sight of you cumming under him made him swear and bite his lip.

“Fuck, you look so fucking hot… My perfect little toy” He thrusted a few more times into your limp exhausted body before pulling out entirely. The action made you gasp and Ghost Face held your jaw open before getting his camera again. “Stay still… I want to remember this” He fucked his gloved fist, smearing your wetness to the fabric, he jerked himself to completion right on your face, his cum staining your face and your mouth managing to catch some droplets. His groans were accompanied with a chuckle satisfied of his work.

The camera flash blinded you for a second, as he photographed your deplorable state. That’s how he liked you best.

[keshetchai]

I think #4 is missing some important context, which is tha a fear of violence after the creation of the Israeli state is partly violence wasn't speculative in British Mandate Palestine, so the fear wasn't fully just displaced from Europe.

Like the 1929 Riots in Palestine uh. Were extremely violent. The fear is not solely due to white Europeans. If we can understand why Palestinians might feel extremely about many Israelis because of PTSD and violence, then we should also apply that same logic when we consider that like, the third chief of staff of the IDF was someone who barely escaped as a child when his family was tortured and slaughtered by Arab neighbors they had declined Haganah protection from during the Riots.

That probably significantly shaped the attitudes of many Israeli people and the IDF! The tensions escalated to violence over an unprovoked murder of a Jewish teenager. Also the Palestinian Mufti during WWII declined to accept Jewish shoah refugees, including turning away children.

Sparked with false rumors about a non-violent jewish demonstration at the Western wall (which we know was non-violent because the Palestine Zionist Executive actually felt the group in question was embarrassing and the whole thing could escalate unnecessarily, so they asked British authorities to monitor the youth revisionists ahead of time).

A Jewish teenager was randomly stabbed, and then the Arab village/neighborhood was attacked in retaliation, as well as a retaliatory stabbing of an Arab teen (retaliation is bad!). The Zionist executive makes appeals for people to remain calm, refrain from demonstrations and observe discipline.

Flyers began to circulate falsely claiming the Jewish demonstration had involved the raping of Muslim women and killing of widows and babies. Blood libel, because again, the demonstration was monitored and the British reports debunked these claims.

A counter-demonstration about 9 days later involved armed Muslims marching on Al-Aqsa. The British tried to have the muffti deescalate, but his presence didn't achieve that.

A massacre of Jews in Jerusalem was started. When Arabs started killing Jews at Jaffa gate the british police chose to not intervene, because the mob might turn on them. The British also refused to give Jews weapons for self-defense for some time.

Killings spread to Motza, Kfar Uria, and Tel Aviv, and larger pogroms in Safed and Hebron.

The killings in Motza had shocked the community who had good relationships with their Arab neighbors, and so had rejected protection offers from the Haganah. One of those killings in Motza is notable because three Jewish children managed to escape the slaughter/torture, and one of those children — Mordechai Maklef — became the third chief of staff of the IDF as an adult.

The Jews of Hebron also rejected Haganah offers of protection, insisting they trusted the Arab notables in the community would protect them. They were also viciously attacked, leading the British High Commissioner to note: "The horror of it is beyond words. In one house I visited not less than twenty-five Jews men and women were murdered in cold blood." There was only one British police officer in the whole of Hebron, and he received no backup for 5 hours.

The pogrom of Hebron extends much further: the Jewish hospital was attacked and ransacked, the yeshiva (school) was also attacked and students & teachers were slaughtered. The Jewish hospital was attacked and ransacked. Hundreds of Jews were saved by some Hebron Arab neighbors, but all of Jewish Hebron's survivors were evacuated afterwards by the british.

The Safed pogrom was also particularly brutal - attacking and burning the main Jewish street, storming the orphanage and beheading children, Arab rioters armed themselves with kerosene and burned people. Yitshak Mammon, a Safed native who was living with an Arab family was brutally murdered by repeated stabbing and trampling. It was described as a systematic slaughter of Jews. Safed isn't simply a 19th century Jewish neighborhood, btw. It was founded in 1200 BCE, and was occupied by Jews. There are accounts of Jews living in the area in the 12th century noted by crusaders, and a continual Jewish population existed over the centuries, openly noted by various Muslim empires. (They were also targeted by Druze and Arab raids in the 1830's).

Six Jewish villages were destroyed and burned. A kibbutz was also attacked, evacuated, then burned. (I'll note here some retaliations that were also wrong: a mosque was desecrated, and an Arab family was slaughtered in Jaffa by a Jewish policeman)

17 different Jewish communities in Mandate Palestine were evacuated during the riots

How To Be Anti-Zionist WITHOUT Being Antisemitic

Yes! It's possible! But it's not automatic.

This post is by no means comprehensive, but bear in mind rule one of the Internet: You CANNOT tell the difference between a well-meaning yet uninformed leftist, and a neo-Nazi sockpuppet pretending to be a leftist to spread antisemitic rhetoric. Reading and absorbing the information in this post will help you avoid dipping into antisemitic modes of thinking.

Don't deny Jewish history in Palestine. There's been a continuous Jewish presence in Palestine ever since the Romans destroyed Judea - and not just the descendants of Jews who stuck around after that; Jews have been making aliyah to Palestine, and specifically the four holy cities (Hebron, Safed, Tiberias, and Jerusalem), for pretty much the entire history of the Jewish Diaspora. Every time Jews got expelled from somewhere, some Jews migrated to Palestine. There was even an attempt, in the middle of the war between the Byzantines and Sasanians in the 7th century, to regain political autonomy in Palestine and reconstitute Judea under the Sasanids (it, uh, obviously didn't succeed.) This is all historical fact, but that doesn't mean any of it justifies apartheid in the modern day. Denying the history doesn't help anyone, it just makes you antisemitic.

Don't whitewash the Jewish population in Israel. Ashkenazim only make up about 31% of Israel's Jewish population, less if you consider that the 2019 study would have counted Bulgarian and Greek Jews as Ashkenazim, when they're in fact Sephardic. The majority of Israeli Jews are Mizrahim who were expelled from other countries in the SWANA region who wrongly blamed their local Jewish populations for the Nakba. There is an internal racial dynamic within Israel where Ashkenazim hold hegemony, and that is worth critiquing in concert with Israeli oppression of Palestinians, but just saying "Jews are white Europeans" is antisemitic and flatly wrongheaded. Jews are an ethnoreligious group whose members come from all racial backgrounds.

Don't invoke classic antisemitic tropes like dual loyalty, or tell Jewish Israelis to "go back where they came from". Most Israelis do not have a second passport, are not eligible for a second passport, and cannot return to wherever they or their grandparents came to Palestine from. Litvak Israelis can't return to Lithuania, their communities were destroyed by the Nazis and then paved over and replaced by the Soviets. Moroccan Israelis can't return to Morocco, they were expelled. American Israelis only make up about 5% of the Israeli population. Jews have always lived on "other people's land", the difference in Palestine is that we're the oppressor, rather than the oppressed.

Understand why Israelis fear the Palestinian Right to Return, even if that fear is something you (rightly) oppose. It's true that settlers always become anxious about the people whose land they stole fighting back, but with Israelis this is even more potent due to two thousand years of antisemitism, and in particular, an event in living memory. In 1932, German and Austrian Jews were stripped of their citizenship, becoming stateless, and when the Evian Conference was held in 1938 to address what to do with the Jewish refugees, all 32 countries in attendance refused to take in more than at most 30,000 Jewish refugees, and that "most" was from the USA and the UK. (Except the Dominican Republic, but that was because Trujillo wanted to bring in a surge of Europeans to overwhelm the country's Black population, so...) When my country, Canada, itself a settler colony, was asked how many Jewish refugees would be allowed into Canada after the war, the infamous response was "None is too many." Golda Meir, then representing the British Mandate in Palestine, and later a Prime Minister of Israel who said and did some awful shit to Palestinians, was not permitted to speak or participate in the conference, she was only allowed to observe as country after country refused to accept Jewish refugees in any large number. (Though it should be noted that Chaim Weizmann and David Ben-Gurion, later the first President and Prime Minister of Israel respectively, actually supported this bullshit, because they thought having nowhere else to go would drive Jewish refugees to Palestine. They were right.) Israeli settlers are terrified of becoming a minority, because they do not trust the Palestinians to be any different from the rest of the world. And again, none of this justifies Israeli apartheid, but it elucidates where the Israelis are coming from, and should inform your anti-Zionist work.

Be specific and precise in where your principled anti-Zionism is coming from. To say that "the State of Israel is an openly settler-colonialist venture that has displaced millions of Palestinians and continues to engage in daily human rights abuses and ethnic cleansing" is specific and precise. To say that "Zionists use the Holocaust to play victim and get whatever they want"... do you understand the difference between those two statements? And why the second one might sound like when you say "Zionists", what you really mean is "Jews"?

Avoid double standards. Unless you genuinely believe that all white people should be kicked out of the Americas and return to Europe, don't apply that same belief to Israeli Jews. There is no post-Israeli future in Palestine that doesn't involve Jews living there. See points 1 and 4. And just to be clear, avoiding double standards cuts both ways. There is also no just future that involves the continued apartheid and ethnic cleansing of Palestine. It's evil, fascist, and genocidal for Israeli military officials to say that for all they care Gazans can go jump into the sea.

For fuck's sake stop putting the Neturei Karta on my dash. The Neturei Karta are a fringe group of Litvish Haredim who split off from other Haredim in Jerusalem. They're very publicly anti-Zionist while also being visibly ultra-Orthodox, so they get a lot of attention, but they're also Holocaust revisionists who attended and spoke at a 2006 Holocaust denial conference whose other speakers included David Duke of the KKK and several outright Holocaust deniers, and their leader defended Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, a president of Iran who claimed Jews made up the Holocaust. If you want anti-Zionist Jews, there are plenty of us. Check out Jewish Voice for Peace, Independent Jewish Voices, or even the Satmar if you really want Haredim. Don't give the fucking Neturei Karta any oxygen.

Finally: Zionism is not a euphemism. Zionism is not "when Jews do a thing I don't like," and a Zionist is not "a Jew I disagree with/don't like". Zionism is a nationalism, and like all nationalisms, it hasn't fully delivered on the liberation it was created to provide, and it's oppressed others in the process. Zionism will never go away until the material conditions that drive Jewish nationalism - that is, global antisemitism - are addressed, and yet the Palestinian right to liberation is not and must not be contingent on the end of antisemitism. This is the fundamental problem at the core of the issue: Zionists believe Jewish safety will only come from a Jewish ethnostate with a Jewish majority, and since everywhere on Earth is populated by someone, it may as well be in Palestine, given the Jewish historical roots there. And they're wrong. They're doing horrific, evil, genocidal things in the name of Jewish safety, and they're wrong to do so. But we can condemn Zionism from an informed perspective, rather than from an ignorant one, and in doing so avoid antisemitism and strengthen our anti-Zionist work. The last thing we want to do is spread Nazi rhetoric in the name of Palestinian liberation.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Who is Damien green and what is the porn thing he got fired for?

Ah, now this was a few years back so I definitely won't get the details right, but in a nutshell:

Damian Green MP (he's in Kent somewhere) has been an odious little turd his entire life with an immeasurably punchable face and a demeanour so obnoxious even other Tories can barely stand him; while he was in uni as a young man (where he was, like, the president of the Young Tories in Oxford or what the fuck ever) one night a bunch of other Tories - including Dominic Grieve, former Shadow Home Secretary who later actually served with Damian - carried him out of town and threw him in the River Cherwell, breaking his wrist in the process. Don't feel bad - here's his voting record.

Here is his punchable face, if it helps:

I'd chuck him in a river, too.

He also got arrested once? While in office? For... fuck, I'm forgetting so much of this, but I think it was a misconduct thing that eventually collapsed through not enough evidence, or something like that. That's an aside to the real meat of what you've asked, though, but it is slightly relevant as you'll see in a sec.

Anyway, Theresa May made him Secretary of State, so he got to be a pretty big deal for a bit. But THAT meant - well, okay, let me take you back to the Westminster Sexual Scandals of 2017, which got kicked off because of the Harvey Weinstein thing and the Me Too movement, and loads of survivors came forward and what do you know, turns out most Tories (politicians in general, actually) are gross predators. So, Damian Green, naturally, came up in this. He had three accusers, but thanks to some gross intimidation tactics against the first one to go public, the other two never did. In the interests of fairness, I should specify that he was never accused of rape: she said he was a creepy lecherous toad who put his hand on her knee inappropriately and sent her gross text messages, that sort of thing. Skin-crawly unacceptable stuff, but not the monstrous big leagues of some.

So he had to be investigated, and as part of the investigation, it turned out that when the police had arrested him that time in 2008 they had found porn on his government office computer. He claimed it was a political smear. Then the police were like "Lol no it wasn't possible to have been anyone else u lil bitch", and then there was a REAL BIG investigation, and then there was a report that found that there wasn't enough evidence about the sexual harassment but he definitely lied to his colleagues about the porn so throw him in a river fuck him, and then suddenly, he was fired (or, uh, asked to resign by Tessie May, officially). And that investigation was apparently Sue Gray, now investigating Big Dog the Clown's lockdown parties.

To round up, he did apologise to his accuser but then led a "dirty tricks" campaign against her and got the Daily Mail to publish fake text messages painting her as a liar, but she eventually managed to get them to not only take down the articles (and admit most were fake) but also got them to give her £11,000. So there's that.

No word on what his specific flavour of porn was.

[quillyfied]

It’s late enough at night to be making an ill-advised post, let’s do it:

Years and years ago, once read a post about how if a person had a fear of dogs, other people wouldn’t be trying to get that person to hang out with dogs or give dogs a chance or say the dogs were misunderstood (the metaphor being about sexual assault survivors who have an inherent fear and distrust of cis men being told to “get over it” and “not all men”, how people with less “serious” phobias or fears or trauma responses get cared for more than rape victims, not gonna get into that bc it’s a nuanced topic and not my actual point anyway).

And. Taking that at face value, ignoring the metaphor, speaking as a person with a dog fear and who is also friends with many, many dog people: uh. Hmm. Not quite, actually. Yes, I have good friends and they are aware of my fear, and they do take steps to try and ensure my comfort when I visit, but ultimately, I’ve had so many people throughout my life try to convince me that I just need to get over my fear and that dogs are great. My fear has been laughed at. It has been not taken seriously. It’s been pushed to its limits. I have been encouraged to just give the dogs attention, or to suck it up. And admittedly, I’m better now as an adult than I was as a child, because as a child I would start crying and freaking out if a dog got too close. I have a sort of weary tolerance for my friends’ dogs now as an adult (because I’m a grownup and I know that the dogs don’t mean any harm and are entitled to not being shut up or closed off in their own homes, but also I am so massively uncomfortable around dogs and that is probably never going away). Familiar dogs are okay. Strange dogs are much less okay. Strange big dogs will still put my brain into primeval fight flight or freeze and I possum up like crazy. And yet. I must tolerate the dogs because I love their owners. So I make an effort.

So, metaphor from like 2014 or something, your logic is flawed, and people with fears, rational or no, are absolutely always pushed and prodded to some degree to overcome their fears, no matter how justified the fear. And if aging has taught me anything, it’s that exposure therapy for certain fears does do some amount of alleviation and teaches better coping mechanisms for the fear (obviously not a universal thing). I’m not going to engage with the deeper levels of the metaphor, just going to point out that “you wouldn’t push a person with a dog phobia to hang out with dogs” is WRONG, YES THEY WILL AND IT IS YOUR JOB TO LEARN HOW TO HANDLE THAT.

[jacamimdecostasbrancas]

Trigger warning for discussions of potentially psetting subjects such as pedophilia, sexual abuse and prostitution, and a mention of a dead body.

You know guys, I was over here comparing Banana Fish's ending and Kaze to Ki no Uta's ending and thinking about the ways in which Kazeki to Ki no Uta influenced BF (basically Ash's archetype, his relationship dynamic with Eiji, and Ash's sexual abuse backstory), and like, as upsetting as BF's ending is, bruh...

I'm grateful that at least Banana Fish fans didn't have to spend volumes upon volumes reading about a 14 to 17 years old csa survivor getting constantly raped (including by his own father), and then when he finally has a chance to start a new life with his lover away from the abuse, having to watch him get raped at work, then some time later get drugged, be forced into prostitution, get sexually abused by a group of men, and then die by getting hit by a carriage. And then having to see his lover (the Romani protagonist that also suffered more than enough throughout the series) talking to his open-eyed corpse not yet fully believing his sweetheart is already dead, and even trying to feed him soup. And then tearfully hugging him. Yep, you read that right. At least we didn't have to see Eiji's immediate reaction to Ash's death...

I think Akimi Yoshida probably went "Ehhh, that's a little too much, mayyybe let's NOT do that..." which is the ONLY THING I appreciate about Banana Fish's ending: How it could've been wayyy much worse, but wasn't.

(...I also appreciate the fact that Akimi Yoshida never had - as far as I'm aware - shotacon/pedophilia/rape fantasy immagery/undertones in her work, which, uh... :I Gilbert, I am so so sorry my dear boy, you deserved better. Serge did too - I will never forget what the author did with his characterization in the Paris arc and in the post-series)

P.s.: It goes without saying, fuck Bury Your Gays goddammit

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

also GOD THANK YOU GUYS for so much support and stuff on that rambly Alois post!!

he’s always been one of my favorite characters and I could never understand why people seem to hate him so much to the point of demonizing him even opposing all the facts and nuance that canon gives us

like he’s no saint but literally no one is perfect and it doesn’t take a genius to figure that the things he went through would fuck a person up and idk idk-

I guess more than anything it depresses me that because they didn’t shy away from showing the negative effects of his trauma in his character (like him being clingy and having bad logic and hypersexual behavior), people seem to have misinterpreted him a lot or believe he can’t have healthy relationships ever

and maybe it’s just me, but I think that’s kind of a not so great look to think a trauma survivor is somehow “less than” or can’t overcome their less than pleasant behavior...

because let’s face it, trauma is obviously not pretty, and people who’ve been through the horrible things Alois has aren’t always going to be nice and sweet and innocent despite their trauma, sometimes they’re going to be kind of mean and lash out and do unpleasant things because of their pain, and that doesn’t mean they’re bad people or unworthy of love.

(not to mention that calling someone who’s been raped a “slut” because of a hypersexual response to that trauma is. uh. in poor taste at best, disgusting and harmful at worst.)

anyway daily reminder that I fucking love Alois and he should have had more of a chance to heal and he should have had some help which he desperately needed AND NO I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT HOW MUCH I ADORE HIM, IF I EVER STOP SCREAMING ABOUT MY LOVE FOR ALOIS TRANCY ASSUME I’M DEAD

[everything-laito]

hey,,, i've seen this controversial opinion about laito not being sexually assaulted by cordelia. . .as the only opinion of laito that matters, what are your thoughts on it? i know you've made some posts in the past about cordelia and laito's relationship, but i think that now would be a good time to i guess, remake a post or clarify your thoughts so people could follow along?? i hope you enjoy your day.

*proceeds to crack all my knuckles at once*

This isn't really my own "response" cuz oh boy I'm sick of this petty ass drama lmao. To begin, SKLDJF I'm very flattered that you hold my opinion in that high of regard! I'd say there's others that have interesting interpretations of him too though :) but again, thank you :') glad you enjoy what I have to say!

I know I've already kinda responded to this via a screenshot here, just to hold you––and others reading this––over. As much as this is a great time to talk about a how-to-analysis, I’ll still put that as a separate post eventually, but I still will go over the philosophy of truth and writings etc. But anyways, to answer your initial questions, they’re under the cut!

And no, I’m not specifically calling anyone out here. These are just issues with the fandom that I find as a whole, along with some extremists. Thus, I’m not going to be putting tags for people to easily find this post because I don’t want to be wound up in this drama––once again this is just more commentary on the fandom as a whole, which hopefully you can apply to people you find!

I have a lot of my own thoughts about Cordelia and Laito’s relationship here (just in case if people need it):

1. Goes over potential grooming of Laito, facts about Cordelia and what happened before she did stuff to Laito, and when did she rape Laito for the first time?

2. Stuff about incest and how any relationship out of a parental/child relationship is abuse even if it’s not penetrative sex, more incest stuff, and just more thoughts on their relationship

3. Neuroplasticity, trauma, Karlheinz, and isolation

4. What does sexual trauma look like? And some stuff on Laito’s facade

5. More stuff on his facade, and projection on Yui

6. My thoughts on Laito’s dark fate vampire ending + Conclusion

7. Answering some inbox stuff relating to Cordelia

Sure I realize I might be missing some stuff but that’s just my whole analysis on them. I’ll probably make some follow up posts eventually but I’m not sure when that will be.

But as for this analysis/ramble, I’ll divide it up into sections:

The issue of hypocrisy in the Dialovers fandom:

I- oh dear god. Ok, just saying, there’s a lot of people being like “oh I hate Cordelia because she was abusive” then ??? yo??? Why do you like the boys?? They’re abusive and we see more of them than Cordelia??? I just personally hate hypocrisy. However, it’s okay to hate Cordelia! It’s okay to love Cordelia! It’s okay to hate the boys and it’s okay to love the boys too. But recognizing that you don’t like one or the other just because “they’re abusive” is a fallacy at that point.

The reason why so many people hate Karlheinz/Cordelia/Beatrix/Christa/Richter (or at least start off hating them) is because they are written as the villains of the story! Karl’s the main villain, and the rest (including the diaboys and Yui) are kinda just tragically wound up in his plans. You sympathize more with the boys because you spend more time with them and watch them grow! It’s a whole “us vs them” situation. Since those people were awful to the boys/the boys hate them, you’re like “yeah they’re bad!” But the issue with the whole “us vs them” situation (as in real life) is that people tend to excuse the actions done by the “us” party.

Same thing goes with extreme Karl/Cordelia/Richter fans (I’ve never seen a hardcore Beatrix/Christa fan but they’re probably out there). Some hate the diaboys but love the people in that party. They’ve also done some shitty stuff too! Bro, even Yui has done some terrible stuff! But that’s because she was a product of the events she was thrown into––and same with everyone else.

Karl has been the mastermind of all this, and for me I don’t have any sympathy for him, mainly because we’re not shown anything to sympathize with (except that he just is tired of living but idk why he wants to create a whole new race like lmao science nerd ig, I feel that king). A lot of people like him for his looks, and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing––he’s a fictional character, objectify these characters however you want. This is more of a personal opinion of mine though. And maybe people do just sympathize with his outlook on life, that’s totally fine.

But since these characters are all attractive in their own regard, they all get the treatment of “pretty-boy” syndrome (Idek if that’s the exact name for it). Which is just the privilege pretty people get. But again, this is fictional, so it’s not necessarily important in this case. Bro I got into DL cuz of “ooga booga hot vampires” and stayed for the complex lore and characters (especially one complex character, wonder who that could be). I imagine most people got into DL because of that, or out of sheer curiosity.

Ok, I’m throwing out a lot of points but not really connecting them. Lemme give you an example: I don’t like Reiji. His character doesn’t vibe with me most of the time aside from the fact that he’s hilarious. But I just am very neutral/neutral-negative on his character. But I’m not like “oh cuz he’s mean/abusive” cuz LOL EVERYONES MEAN IN THIS GAME. Sure you can still say that, it’s just not a very strong claim. Hypocritical claims tend to be like that. Same with a lot of Yui haters. In this case, they’re more jealous that she’s there and not them, which I’ve explained a lot in this post about toxic femininity and Yui in the fandom etc. But it’s ok to just not like a character! It’s alright! I know someone who just doesn’t vibe with Subaru. She doesn’t know why, she just doesn’t vibe with him. There’s no need to defend it either. But the use of hypocrisy is my main issue, and I’ll get to that in the next section.

(There’s a really good post explaining this too but I cannot find it for the life of me. I think it was made by @/abottleofkarlheinz or @/the-madame21)

How opinions of fictional universes left unchecked can effect real life:

I’ve said this a little bit in that Dialover PSA post I’ve made about Yui that I linked a couple paragraphs ago. But the reasons why people say they hate Yui is concerning. If you don’t like Yui, that’s totally fine! Again you don’t need reasons to hate on a character or defend it. But if you do choose to defend those characters, make sure what you’re saying isn’t out of some other place in your heart. Let me explain.

In that “Yui PSA” post I made, I say how your attitudes in being critical of a fictional universe usually does reflect on who you are as a person, at least when you’re making certain claims. In that Yui post, I say that the hatred on Yui is a result of the “other girl�� mentality. On top of that, it erases her experience as a survivor. Yes, this is a fictional character, but bringing that into real life can have some dire consequences if you don’t differentiate them. If you have the same attitude of Yui with other survivors if the “abuser is hot” then thaaaaaat’s so fucked up.

For example, there’s people who have crushes on real life serial killers! That- that’s absolutely disgusting! Those real people killed living people and effected so many lives and families. Dude I have fictional crushes on fictional serial killers, and that’s different, because it is a removed universe. It’s why I can still call myself a lesbian but still have crushes on fictional male characters, for a further example (and vice versa! I have straight friends who crush on fictional characters of their same gender! But that doesn’t make them any less straight. And no, I’m not erasing bi people here either, just clarifying in case if you needed that).

Not being able to differentiate your opinions of a fictional universe can get very toxic. Like I love Laito, but I’m not like “omg I wish he was real so he could do that stuff to me uwu” like no!!! UH!!! I wouldn’t want to date anyone like him in real life! That’s literal abuse! And if Laito was here in real life it’s not a controlled environment, he’d literally be able to do anything with you, etc. That’s what makes a fantasy, a fantasy. They’re controlled.

Also vice versa, some people get really triggered by Dialovers, specifically Laito’s route. A lot of non-consensual acts that he does have been experienced by people in real life in any extent, myself included. For me, it’s a personal escape from that, because it is an environment where I am prepared for those events and can control my exposure to it. For some, they are reminded of the reality they had to experience. Fictional universes are inspired by real life, no matter what way you look at it. Real life people are making it, after all.

I feel like I’m going in so many circles, but trust me, I’m getting to the point.

I- I can’t explain this enough but it is most definitely implied that Cordelia had raped and sexually abused Laito. If it was explicit, DL would be an 18+ game, but they cannot do that in Japan. I’m not going to like defend this point because so many people (myself included) have defended this point. It’s implications carry over into Laito’s character and why he’s like this. He’s a textbook sexual abuse survivor. I just,,,, cannot explain this enough. Same thing with overwriting the abuse of Yui. They get jealous of Yui. Sure I’d say a good chunk of people have ravishment fantasies here. At least the 18+ people in the fandom who are into that stuff. But oh my dear god, ravishment fantasies are super super dangerous to enact in real life. It’s possible to do them, but it would take years of building up to that point in kink. That’s a whole other discussion though and I’m not incredibly comfortable talking about it knowing that minors read my blog (I’ll also have to say here: no minors in kink--its alright to educate yourself but pleaaaaaaaaaase don’t enact on any of those activities until you are of age, and even so that still can be dangerous right as you turn 18).

But anyways, saying that Yui should enjoy this because she’s experienced the ravishment fantasy you’ve dreamed of? Oh fucking hell, if you leave that opinion and mentality unchecked and it goes into real life, that’s incredibly awful. Abuse apologists are absolutely terrible people, almost as much as the abusers themselves.

If you twist the narrative that Laito loves Cordelia or Yui loves the boys at the end of the first game, that’s still––ughhhhhhhh. Especially when it’s so obvious that Laito has so many mental issues with Cordelia. His whole monologue and breakdown at the end of Dark Fate definitely tells us that he has had such an issue with Cordelia. And MB+ Laito is still Laito. As for Yui, dude she literally goes through stockholm syndrome in the first game like it is so goddamn apparent idek how to explain this at this point.

Ok dear god lmao wow, uh I think that’s answering the first couple of questions?

The philosophy of truth:

“Truth” has been an incredibly debated topic in philosophy for years. Truth is more of a subjective item rather than objective. Sure you can have personal objective truths, but they may not be the same truths for others. For example, a tomato is red. However, that tomato is red to me, because I am not color blind. A red-green color blind person may see the tomato as being brown or more muted in color. That’s their truth. They can’t really imagine what red is (ok depending on severity of their color blindness), considering they have not experienced the color red in the same way people who don’t have color blindness do. God uh, here’s a whole ass essay about truth, I’m cherry picking some of the things in there that are relevant to this.

Basically what I’m saying is, truth is very subjective. However, there are philosophers arguing a more objective truth. But that’s a whole other discussion. Also, this isn’t to support any political opinion, but I can use that as an example. Let’s go for well... The death penalty. I’m in America, we have the death penalty in some states. Yes, this is a very controversial topic, and no I’m not arguing the ethics of it here. Just hear me out.

If you live in Europe for example (except in Belarus and Russia––ok when I looked it up they consider Russia in Europe and technically it is but also there’s the whole chunk that is not- lmao even the truth of geography can be subjective), you might be like “yeah what the fuck are Americans doing?” (a common sentiment that I also share lmao). But yeah, what the fuck are we doing? Why is the death penalty still in existence? Yes, there’s statistics that prove that it doesn’t deter crime, but even crime rates is caused by a lot of different things too. Even statistics aren’t always accurate, because of many different factors. They’re not objective either, although good statisticians try their best to get good results and not skew the data. (please try to see where your data is coming from and who it is sponsored by––it matters a TON)

I’d say the closest thing we have as an objective truth to argue the death penalty or not is money. Money, although the concept is subjective, is a very objective currency. It’s why artists hate “exposure” compared to “money” as sole currency. The death penalty is very expensive, and not even used that often.

So, although money is currency made by us, and is technically 75% linen and 25% cotton (in America at least) with some funky dudes n numbers printed on it, it doesn’t sound that special. However, it would be considered as a baseline of some type of “objective truth” in ~society~ because people are typically on the same page of what money’s worth. Even so, this baseline of truth is still subjective! If Bill Gates accidentally has a $20 bill fall out of his pocket, that’s nothing to him! But if someone who’s working very hard to make ends meet loses that same amount of money, it could deal a lot of financial damage to that person.

Ok, hopefully you guys kind of get my drift. There are a lot of theories of truth, I’m just explaining one (honestly I forget the name of this theory) because it is the closest to the types of truth we are dealing with. And in this case, it’s called “canon.”

What the fuck is analysis:

The concept of “canon” is the objective truth that we have when analyzing universes. They’re our bread and butter of interpretation and extrapolation. The art of analysis clings to this notion of an objective truth. It needs a baseline. I’m going off of Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle, because that type of analysis I have the most experience with.

This is called rhetorical analysis. Rhetoric is the use of words in a persuasive fashion, and the analysis part is a breakdown of how words are used in order to achieve persuasiveness. I don’t typically use a lot of explicit rhetorical analysis in my personal writings, but I guess a version of it. Which typically has to deal with intention and execution. A lot of analysis on language has to do with this. Language is incredibly subjective. Certain words carry individual meanings to people. I have gone over the difference between real and lexical definitions before, and I’ll do it again.

I’ll just copy and paste what I’ve said before here from this analysis:

To put it simply, lexical definitions are the definitions you find in the dictionary. This is an “official” and “agreed upon” definition. Real definitions (quite a misleading name in my opinion) is the definition that’s more kind of “felt” in a way and how you internally interpret the word in context (these can be through individuals or any niche group). What I mean by this is that when you say a word (for example) to convey a feeling, you usually won’t know the dictionary definition off the top of your head. You say that something’s “savage” for example when you want to describe something violent or gruesomely awesome (it depends if it’s in a slang context or not) but there’s many lexical definitions (and outdated lexical definitions) of the term. But the first definition that usually comes up is “adj (of an animal or force of nature) fierce, violent, and uncontrolled.”

But people typically don’t think of the lexical definition when they learn what a word means; they usually learn the context of it and apply it as such. And that’s what a “real” definition is. Laito has a differing definition of what affection and love is, and that’s his own meaning and what it means to him.

I’ll even add another example to that too. The word “cunt” in english refers to a vagina. That’s just it. It’s lexically synonymous with “vagina,” “pussy,” etc. However, “cunt” has a subjective meaning to it. This is where “real” definitions also come into play. Many people view the word as vulgar and dirty. And that’s cuz we live in a ~society~ lmao. Our use of language has shaped what this word means in a context outside of the dictionary. I’ll do you one more. The Japanese word マンコ (manko) is also vulgar slang that’s kind of like our word “cunt/pussy.” Sometimes I say “cunt” for jokes, but I don’t use it that often to begin with since it’s just a very strong word to most (albeit it’s not that strong of a word for me). However, マンコ is a strong word to many Japanese people, but if I hear it even though I’ve been learning Japanese, it doesn’t have that same effect as hearing “cunt” for me is (which still, idc if I really hear it depending on context) because I haven’t been shaped in a culture that uses Japanese.

Even so, tone, intention, and context is HUGE in this. If someone called me a “useless fucking cunt” when they’re angry at me, I’d be close to crying. If someone told that to me as a joke, I’d be like “lol yeah you right, bitchass” and if someone said that in a consensual sexual context, it would certainly tickle my masochistic heart.

DSLKFJ also sorry if you don’t like hearing that word, I just had to utilize a strong example for this. But anyways, now let’s change the lens to Dialovers.

No, it never explicitly says that Cordelia rapes Laito. It doesn’t. However, there’s this WACKY thing called being able to infer, reading between the lines, and identifying implications. Those are kind of all the same things. However, indirect exposition is used a lot in effective creative writing. The utilization of this type of exposition is more preferred when writing a story, because direct exposition is kind of referred to as “info-dumping” when used excessively. Forgive my jargon: this is just showing vs telling as we’re taught in every writing class. I’m personally very bad at it, which is why I stick to writing these, and stick to reading creative fiction. (NOT SAYING IF YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT THIS TO NOT CONTINUE TO PRACTICE CREATIVE FICTION, I JUST DONT HAVE THE CURRENT MOTIVATION TO GET GOOD AT IT)

Dialovers uses a LOOOOOT of showing. And even so, its “showing” ability is very minimal considering the Japanese language can be vague on its own, it’s medium (visual novel) does not show a lot of things explicitly most of the time (and even when it is shown it doesn’t convey a lot). There’s several CGs of Laito and Yui where it doesn’t show the amount of pain or the dire situation Yui’s in, compared to what she’s saying she’s going through.

When I made my whole breakdown on Laito’s HDB route from Yui’s perspective, I got several comments about how they didn’t realize how bad his route really was. That’s either because people might not have experience with verbal abuse themselves, can’t exactly see Yui’s body language except her head (and even so, her expressions are limited), or don’t know a lot of gaslighting/verbal abuse techniques/have done research into it. Honestly verbal abuse is kind of hard to realize, so I’m not calling anyone dumb here. Despite me knowing a lot of the signs, I didn’t know I went through it––and even so I’ve denied it. And that’s what is so effective about this game though! Especially Laito’s route! Because you’re also sucked in with limited knowledge because you’re seeing this through Yui’s perspective, and on top of that it’s isolating. You can only make so many choices, and I feel like Dialovers is perfect as a visual novel. You get caught up with a lot of shock value things that Laito says, which serves as a perfect distraction for your first time through. But anyways, I’m getting off track.

For example, many people found his Maniac 07 chapter to be very confusing. I broke that one down here as well, and even so I was confused at first (also I was like 14/15, dear god). It tells you SO little, but you know that Laito’s incredibly upset at Richter for some reason, and even so, Yui comments on it a little too. Laito is shown to still hate Richter in DF, but he talks about it a tad more.

Here’s a further example from my writings in that first part of the Cordelia/Laito analysis series but I have bolded the terms I use to convey this rhetoric:

There hasn’t been any flashbacks that specifically show us the first time that happened. However, I believe that there was a flashback in HDB that shows one of the first times. Here’s a scene from Laito’s Dark Epilogue:

Cordelia: ー Laito…Laito… Laito: …Hm? Is something the matter? Cordelia: I have a favor to ask. It just isn’t enough. You can do it, right Laito? Laito: You really are something…So that’s why you came to me again? Cordelia: Fufufu…That’s right, Laito. Come on, quickly… Laito: …Guess it can’t be helped. I’ll love you plenty. Cordelia: Aah…My cute Laito~ I love you. I really do. Laito: I can do it…right? Cordelia: Of course, Laito. Now, quickly…

First of all, ew. Second of all, Laito’s diction implies that this was maybe the second or third time this occurred. He asks a question, and ends it with “again.” We know by this that it is not the first time, but the question also means that Laito might not have expected to occur again. His tone also implies some surprise to it, at least in my ears. His other question, “I can do it, right?” screams hesitance to me. If this scene took place down the line, or after many times he did this with Cordelia, I don’t believe he’d be some level of surprised or hesitance.

That’s what rhetorical analysis is. You take the contextual meaning of the words, the tone they use, and extrapolate what they imply. On top of this, we know that the term “love” here is sexual, implying that they did something sexual. We are not given the details of this, but considering we know that Laito uses “love” before he rapes Yui in the game, we can infer that’s what happened (or something similar) to himself with Cordelia, considering he projects on Yui quite a bit.

I was going to go over what is good/bad analysis, but I think I’ve implied it anyways here. Utilizing separate information from different sources of canon in order to make sense of something is good analysis. That’s our objective truth: canon. I’m not saying I’m the best at analysis, but I am fairly confident in it. It’s how I’m able to attempt to answer some of your “how would Laito react” questions without it being specifically hinted in the game. You cannot cherry pick specific sentences and go off of that alone for analysis. It’s context. It’s reading tone. It’s knowing the characters attitudes towards things, how they speak, etc. There’s a lot going into analysis in general. I know I didn’t elaborate on Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle right now, but that’s for another date I suppose.

Oh dear god I hope I didn’t lose you guys, I know this is a lot of information, but if you have any questions/comments/clarifications, as always, please let me know!

Hope you enjoyed! -Corn

[madpanda75]

“Taking Chances Part 11: The Call”

We’re picking up right where we left off with Theo barging into the gallery to surprise the reader. We also find out who that special someone is that Sonny has his eye 👀

Thanks to everyone for their comments and feedback on this series! It means the world to me ❤️Also a huge thanks to @sass-and-suspenders for being my writing buddy and giving me the idea for the title. 

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains an assault scene and mention of rape.

“Theo, how did you get in?” you sputtered. “You shouldn’t be here! We’re closed.”

Theo scoffed, “Please, that ditzy coworker of yours always forgets to lock the door when she leaves.” He milled around the tiny studio, picking up a handcrafted ceramic vase. “And besides you never cared before.” He set the vase down and winked. 

You could tell that he was drunk. Apart from his disheveled appearance, the aroma of cheap whiskey radiated off his body and hit you like a brick wall. But there was something more, his presence filled you with a sense of foreboding. Nevertheless, you swallowed down your fear and held your ground. “That was then, this is now,” you sneered.

“Why can’t you forgive me? I made a mistake. I’m--”

“You broke us!” you interrupted. “My brother may have invited you to lunch, but I thought I made myself clear when we broke up that I never wanted to see you again.”

Theo’s face hardened. “It’s that older guy, isn’t it?” He looked you over from head to toe, like a predator studying its prey before it attacks. “Never took ya’ for a gold digger, but maybe being a starving artist all these years has made ya’ hard up for cash.” 

“Rafael is twice the man you’ll ever be,” you snarled.

“You sure about that? Ya’ know you and I had some hot times together.” He arched a brow and crudely licked his lips. “Can’t deny there was some definite sexual chemistry between us.”

As he stalked towards you closer and closer, you stepped back, blindly bumping into chairs and easels until you were pushed up against the wall. You were trapped. A chill rippled down your spine and your mouth went dry, panic rising in your throat.

Theo grabbed your wrist and yanked you closer to him. The acrid smell of alcohol combined with his cologne stung your nostrils. “Let go of me.” You struggled to free yourself from Theo’s grasp, but he only tightened his hold on you.

“Don’t be like that,” he cooed in a teasing manner. “How about a kiss for old times sake?” As he leaned in closer with his lips pursed, you finally wrenched free and slapped him hard. Your hand throbbed in pain. Between Theo and Sonny, you were getting tired of smacking people for disrespecting you.

Theo cruelly laughed, completely unphased by your attack. “You stupid bitch,” he growled and backhanded you across the face. The force of his slap caused you to stumble a few steps and run into a nearby table. 

In an instant, he was on top of you with a wild look in his eye. “I always get what I want,” he snarled. Theo hiked up your skirt with one hand while undoing his pants with the other. Bottles of paint toppled over in your struggle, saturating your clothes and the floor. Colors swirling together--angry reds, moody blues until they combined to a murky brown.

All of your self defense classes. All of the lectures your brother gave you about defending yourself-- hammer strike, heel palm strike. It all left your mind in that frantic, terrifying moment. Nevertheless, you fought back as hard you could, clumsily kicking and screaming. 

Luckily, your foot had fantastic aim and connected straight with his groin. Hard. Theo howled in pain and grabbed his crotch, giving you a chance to escape. You scrambled out from under him and collided into Phoebe who had just come back from the coffee shop when she heard you screaming. Coffee and pastries spilled onto the floor. 

Upon seeing your coworker, Theo pushed past you both and ran out of the gallery. But you could care less, you just clung to Phoebe, trembling. “Y/N? What happened? Are you alright?” 

You couldn’t speak. You could hardly catch your breath, on the brink of becoming hysterical. Phoebe took your hand and led you to a nearby chair. “I’m calling 911.” She reached into her purse for her phone when she stopped. “Do you want me to call your brother?”

“No!” you said in a panic. “Can you call his partner instead?” You gave Phoebe Rollins’ cell number. “Please tell her not to tell Sonny.” She nodded and dialed the number. 

While your coworker talked to Amanda, you stood up and walked around the studio. Paints, brushes, easels all covered the floor. And then you saw it. The painting you had been working on for Rafael, in a crumpled head, completely destroyed. Just like everything else in the room. In a matter of minutes, your sanctuary had become a crime scene.

*****

Sonny scaled the steps of One Hogan Place, balancing two cups of coffee in his hands. He took his familiar route, mumbling to himself. Passerbys assumed he was on bluetooth, but in reality he was deep in concentration, trying to come up with the perfect opening line. Unfortunately, the only thing he could come up with was “Hi.” 

After the disastrous lunch on Sunday, Sonny couldn’t stop thinking about what Bella had said. Maybe it was time to let go and take a chance. To put himself out there. As much as he hated to admit, you were happy with Barba. Maybe it was time for him to find his own happiness. 

He stood in front of Barba’s office door, taking a moment to collect himself. His heart hammered in his chest. His palms were clammy. Although he had been to Barba’s office countless times, this time was for a completely different reason.

From the moment Sonny met Carmen, he was hooked. She was beautiful, smart, and unbelievably kind. Not to mention, she knew how to handle Barba. She made him feel at ease. 

He never forgot when SVU had lost a big case, a rapist had been set free on a technicality. The squad and Barba had just broken the news to the survivor. She was only 14 and yet she had lived a lifetime. He would never forget the look on her face. In a way he felt completely responsible. If he had just tried harder, then they would have caught this monster.

That day Sonny was the last one to leave Barba’s office, feeling completely dejected. He thought of his sisters and his mother and how easily any of you could be a victim. He wondered if he was even cut out for this job. How many rapists would be set free during his career? How many victims would he have to disappoint? 

It was then that Carmen approached him. “Hang in there.” She patted him on the shoulder and gave him a warm smile. “They need you, Sonny. You’re one of the good guys.” In that moment, Carmen made Sonny feel safe and comforted. Something he hadn’t felt in a very long time. 

Now all he had to do was work up the nerve to ask her out on a date. “It’s now or never, Carisi,” he thought before opening the door. There she was. The woman of his dreams, sitting at her desk, furiously typing and completely oblivious to the fact that Sonny was right in front of her. 

After several seconds, he cleared his throat and shouted, “Hey you!” Carmen jumped a mile high. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare ya’.” Being a ball of nervous energy, it was not his intention to scream at the poor woman. 

“It’s ok. I wasn’t paying attention.” Sonny nodded and rocked back on his heels, awkwardly standing in front of her. “Um, Mr. Barba is free, if you’d like to see him.”

“Actually. I’m here for you.” He handed over one of the cups of coffee in his hand. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Carmen graciously accepted the cup and took a sip. “I’ve been so busy working on these briefs that I haven’t had a chance to get any.”

Sonny beamed and began taking out of his pockets handfuls of assorted coffee creamers and sugar packets. “I...uh...I didn’t know how ya’ took your coffee so I got ya’ half n half, hazelnut, vanilla, soy milk, almond milk. I got sweet n’ low, regular sugar, sugar in the--”

“Thank you,” Carmen politely interrupted him and pushed all of the creamers and sugars now littering her desk off to the side. “That’s very sweet.”

Sonny turned beet red and took a sip of his coffee. Having been out of the dating game for so long, he was definitely rusty at this. “So...uh...I was just wonderin’ if maybe sometime--”

Just then Rafael burst out of his office. “Carmen, something’s come up and I have to leave. Please hold my calls and cancel all my meetings for today.” Before she could even reply, he brusquely walked past, bumping into Sonny and causing him to spill his coffee. Rafael shot daggers at him. 

Sonny furrowed his brow in confusion, watching Rafael walk out the door. Although Rafael had certainly glared at him before, this time was different. If looks could kill, Sonny would be dead on the floor. “Wonder what that was about?” he mused.

Carmen shook her head. “Don’t know. But it must be bad. I hope everything’s ok.” She then noticed the spilled coffee on Sonny’s shirt and opened her drawer, pulling out a stain removing pen for clothes. “May I?”  She walked over to Sonny and began to clean the coffee stain before it began to set. 

Being that close to Carmen, Sonny felt weak in the knees. He lost himself in her warm brown eyes and the honeyed sweet scent of her orange blossom perfume. “Thanks,” he managed to squeak out.

“It’s no problem,” she said with a shy smile. “With the amount of coffee Mr. Barba drinks, I keep a stash of these at my desk. Just in case of an emergency.” 

“So like I was saying earlier, I thought if you were free sometime that maybe you’d like to--”

Suddenly, a loud ring coming from his coat pocket cut him off. The universe was not working in his favor today. He pulled his phone out and saw Bella’s name flash across his screen. “Excuse me,” he told Carmen before answering the phone. “Hey Bella. Can I call ya’ back?” 

Bella let out a sob in response and Sonny felt his stomach drop. “Bella? What’s wrong?”

“Sonny,” she managed to say through her tears. “You need to get to the precinct. Now. Something’s happened with Y/N.”

Tag List:

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