#also this has been happening for years btw. not as a constant thing otherwise it would drive me LITERALLY INSANE. but it's just a thing

[fruitsyrups]

anyone else have that one noise that nobody else in the room can hear? like what the fuck do you mean you can't hear the CONSTANT AUDIBLE TAPPING that is happening RIGHT NOW??? and also where the fuck is it coming from. why does the noise stop whenever I try to figure out where it's coming from. is this normal? why am I the only one who can hear this

[waokevale]

Soo when you say wilson is of shadow origin and has always been weird, is there any sort of reason? Like was he born like that just because of Their natural influence that was happening even before the codex? Or was it more as in his power started as a child ( since thats when the whole codex thing happened) and he just got cursed by it? Or a mix of the two with the merge of the constant and the real world simply accelerating/ boosting the corruption he already had?

( also i'd love to know everyone power on a 1-10 scale like you did for charlie and maxwell 👉�� )

Love your AU btw!

Well...Let's say he was always 'special', since his parents got involved with a very peculiar group before he was born, but the release of the constant's magic did in fact trigger those powers to expand. So you got that right.

And hmm, I guess I could give away a couple of those power comparisons, but I should also take in consideration their combat abilities, since one's isn't power isn't all that there is.

Wendy & Abigail – 3/10 (In combat it's usually Abigail in charge of the body since she's more skilled, while Wendy bullies the opponents shadow basically )

Webber - 4/10 (His Venom helps although he rarely uses it since he's scared of killing ppl)

Wurt (when she's in a body of water) 4/10, otherwise 3.5/10

Walter – 3/10 (if he knew about his abilities more, that would've been at least a 6.5)

Warly – 4.5/10 (3/10 otherwise) While his abilities don't help with combat, he focused on his agility and weapon throwing.

Wes – 4.5/10 He had to get better at combat, since Maxwell keeps sending him on missions, Max claims he could've easily been a 6/10 if he tried harder.

Winona – 5/10 her gadgets and combat ability make up for her power.

Wickerbottom – 5/10 (if she used her spells more often, would've been about a 7)

Maxwell – 5.5/10 (has more limitations set than Charlie)

Charlie – 6/10

Wigfrid – 6/10

Wolfgang – 6.5/10 (has at least 15 years of military training on him + his power certainly enhances those abilities)

Woodie – 6.5/10 since he's more in control of his various forms and their quirks

WX-78 – 6.5/10 when equipped with Winona's upgrades, without them, 4.5/10

Wortox – 6.5/10 (though he rarely engages in combat, his teleportation and life draining ability certainly helps. if he did, he would've probably been a 7 at least)

Willow – 7.5/10 though she's normally restrained into using only some of her abilities so 4.5/10

Wormwood – 7.5 4/10

Wilson – normally a 2/10 has little combat skill and is one of the newest hires. (In a monster form, which he can't control he's around 8/10)

Wanda – if she wasn't constantly supervised she would've easily been a 10/10, shes limited to being about a 6.5/10

[dominijoyce]

Sun and Saturn!

Sun: what’s something that’s an everyday part of your life that reminds you of how beautiful the world is?

Mmmm... In general, just people. Or rather, how we tend to forget that everyday on streets alone we pass by hundreds if not thousands of different people. Each of them has a different story, different opinions, different interests, different goals and motivations. Maybe that's eevesdropping for some, but I do like sometimes listening to a group of teenager friends on a bus, talking about some school teacher they hate or some other plans; on a train stations families often talk of their plans or parents reminding the kids to keep close and to make sure to keep track of their things... I dunno, for many it seems insignificant but I just love being reminded that everyone around us exists. I love talking with people, yesterday I had a chance to talk with an older man about generosity as I was waiting for my food at restaurant - I will never meet him again and yet I might remember him and his words in a few years... I have this story I like telling people, that is a perfect example of this so this is a perfect opportunity to mention it.

So like, back in high school I would often skip sleep and because I would do it many nights in a row, I knew this was a common occurence but I kept seeing the neighbouring building to mine and every night there was always a light on. The stairway in that building is similar to mine (I know that cause I have been inside of it before) and it works by motion detection - if it detects someone moving inside, the light turns on. The window that I kept seeing the light being on from is also not an apartment window - it is definitely the window you encounter when walking the stairs to get either up or down a floor. The light turns off automatically after some time without any motion and in that case it would happen a lot - it would turn off but then soon to be turned on, I assume by someone who suddenly went into motion. Which meant that every night for more than few weeks if not months, someone, very late into the night would just... hang in the stairway - they weren't working or walking down and up or anything, otherwise the light would constantly be turned on due to detecting constant movement - they were just hanging there, every night - for multiple hours btw (back then, I noticed this happening from as early as midnight to as late as early morning, think 6 or 7 am). The light was definitely not malfunctioning as the light was mostly turned off in the day time as it should work.

I dunno... I just find it interesting and fascinating, most people wouldn't care about that, but I do - it really gives me a perspective about how there are so many people around me, at any moment, all of them have different thoughts and traits and goals - and for someone, that person just felt like spending most of the night in the cold (it was cold, it was winter season) stairway and just hanging out there for multiple hours - sometimes the full night. Maybe they had a reason for this, maybe they don't and they just liked that routine - I don't know and will never know. No one is hanging out there anymore as of over a year now. And yet. I still keep thinking of it. In that way, life is beautiful to me.

Saturn: Name 5 very cute animals!

Desmarest’s Hutia (Capromys pilorides)

Lion’s Mane Jellyfish (Cyaneacapillata)

Victoria Crowned-pigeon (Goura victoria)

Tarzan’s Chameleon (Calumma tarzan)

Northern Pinocchio Frog (Litoria pinocchio)

[nysophically-azuna]

Chrys has allowed me to give descriptions of new characters as they appear in his au of lunium - Stephanie Purnama

Mio Meat- 14 she/her MTF biromantic. Alcreamie(matcha cream, flower sweet): Mio is one of the children at Apple Blossom Orphanage. She attends Queer Middle.

Mio appears to be quite shy, however the only thing on her mind is hate. She could find any reason to hate anyone, otherwise, she feels nothing twords the person. The only one she does not appear to disrespect is Lady Fancy.

Chrys' note: "I'm surprised it too me THIS long to make a alcreamie gijinka since it's one of my favorite Pokemon, I had her in mind to be a foil to Iris"

Sari Savory- 13 she/he demigirl aroace. Alcreamie(ruby swirl, star sweet): Sari is one of the children at Apple Blossom Orphanage. He attends Queer Middle.

Sari is a kind girl, trying his best to see the good in anyone, even those who could be seen as hostile. He's the most popular one at school and his orphanage due to his friendliness, however, while he thinks everyone is nice, he deems Mio his best friend.

Chrys' note: "Sari might be one of my favorites, her obliviousness and kindness might make or break her COMPLETELY. Also -- .. --- / -.. --- . ... -. .----. - / .-. . .--. .-.. .. -.-. .- - . / .... . .-. / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. ... .-.-.- / ... .... . / .- -.-. - ..- .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / - .... .. -. -.- ... / ... .... . .----. ... / .-. . .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / .- -. -. --- -.-- .. -. --. .-.-.-"

Millia Koijenka - 18 they/she/it gender fluid lesbian. Red bluborb: Millia lives in Peachkeet village. They attend Pronoun University.

Millia gives people the creeps with all the horrendous vibes they give out with the constant grinning. They look ready to kill someone, but luckily they haven't attempted that. What's even stranger is that they used to be normal only a year ago, that is until their girlfriend died.

Chrys' note: "Millias been in my brain for a while now, I scrapped her having a wheelchair and gave it to Maya(sry Maya, Lillie can't walk either). Btw she used to be childhood friends with ... .- -- --..-- / .--- . .-.. .-.. .. . --..-- / .- -. -.. / .- .--. .-. .. .. until a event imma reveal later happened. Millia feels like she did nothing wrong, and that those 3 should be the ones to apologize"

OMG WAIT. SARI SOINDS SO CUTE ??? that is so SIGMA !! ill translate the morsecode later Tumblr isnt beong the very skibidi today

Pronoun university is such a name im giggling

[mikuni14]

Moonlight Chicken Ep 5

So I made my own little private PalmChopper ship once, now I have a cute little JimAlan ship (if they want, they can add Gaipa, the more the merrier!). Seriously, Jim would be better off with a dedicated, caring dude with a good job lol

Both Gong and Alan said what I mentioned earlier, that Wen's unclear behavior and his constant presence (it turns out they still have sex, or at least it happened after the break up!!!) gave Alan hope. What I want to say is how deeply I dislike Wen, it's been a long time since anyone has ever annoyed me as much as he does, and I feel sorry for Jim for the quality of the men he chooses. Jim has so many worries, so many really big problems, and he needs someone strong and supportive next to him. Most of all, he needs someone ADULT like him. Wen is very immature for me, he is weak, indecisive, easily swayed, running away from responsibility, able to lie to his close ones for MONTHS. And he has an extremely annoying tendency to blame everyone else for his decisions, but in a way that makes other people feel shitty, because "the sacrifices has been made." I KNOW THAT KIND OF PEOPLE, and it took me a long time to recognize this manipulation. And Wen does just that: he tells Alan that he ate beef he doesn't like for Alan, that he was with him and slept with him even after they broke up because he felt sorry for Alan. He does it in such a way that Alan comes across as a monster because poor Wen sacrificed himself so much for him - like doing all these horrible things eating disliked foods, living together and sleeping together just to please Alan. No Wen, NOBODY expected this from you, and I’m sure Alan would appreciate your honesty more than your useless sacrifice. Alan is not a violent, abusive criminal, nothing would happen if you said what you don't like to eat and if you just moved out after the breakup, and not lived among the photos documenting your relationship. Wen carried it on for MONTHS. He told his closest friend about the breakup ONLY NOW. And he still twists it around as if Alan is to blame! Does Jim really need someone like Wen?? Especially now that everything is falling apart around him? As soon as things got awkward, Wen stopped coming to work, adding to Jim's worries. How can you create a stable, trusting relationship with someone like that? What does Wen, who is almost 30, do when it's difficult? He wants to avoid confrontation and tries to spend the night at his friend’s house. When Gong reminds him, to act like a fucking grown up he finally comes home, Alan doesn't even confront him, just cares for his wound right away. Because Alan is an adult, which unfortunately I can't say about Wen.

It’s ironic when Wen says, what he would do for love, because he certainly doesn't do a lot and his words reflect what actually Alan does, which is very funny btw :) And that bit about love, which must hurt, because otherwise it's not love is particularly childish, it sounds like from the cheap melodramas . You can clearly see the difference in their maturity when Jim talks about what it looks like from a mature person point of view, which Wen completely ignores and dismisses with a smile.

I haven't enjoyed some BL pairings in the past, but I must say that WenJim is an extremely unsatisfying pair to me.

But that's still nothing compared to this episode's revelation: Heart's parents haven't learned sign language in three years to talk to their own son. Something Li Ming did in 4 months. BECAUSE HE WANTED TO. Also: Dear parents, when your kids are going through a difficult time and say that you are ashamed of them and run away to their room, you do not stay behind and comfort each other and say "the child will be ok", but like Li Ming you run after them to reassure them of your unconditional love. Like this is a BASIC stuff.

Seeing the keyboard in Heart’s room, that he wouldn't hear anymore, those notes taped on the wall, then hearing Jim scold Li Ming, which, again, he did not deserve - ow, that hurt. My poor boys... 🥺

It was a really good episode, in my opinion totally dominated by Alan and Li Ming who literally “ate” every scene just by being there :) I just still can't believe that Wen couldn't make a decision and act decently for 4 months and Heart's parents didn't try to talk to him in a way that was convenient for him for 3 years...Basic stuff, BASIC STUFF PEOPLE. 

[zhuhongs]

Since rewatching the guardian drama after reading the novel has made me mad about how bad and good both of them are I am Obligated to write out a list of what I think the perfect merger btw both versions of canon are. This will be in list format otherwise I’ll end up writing like 6k words again. 

TLDR: the genre stays as supernatural from the novel and not Sci fi, bc that was rlly not fleshed out well. Shen Wei is a ghost king, and all the dixingren are ghosts or demons like originally intended. The ghost race naturally exists and wasn't born from kunluns shoulder fire or anything. They just exist separate from humans. Not all ghosts are former humans, some people are just born as ghosts, like Shen Wei. Zhao Yunlan has the guardian whip and all the cool stuff that comes with the Guardian order.  Overall, i’d keep the novel’s plot and relationship progression and ending without the backstory. Instead the backstory is a merger of both canons. From the drama I’d keep the characterization and themes as well as like half the extra cases and omit the other half. 

I’ll be elaborating much further on my ideal backstory and other stuff under the cut bc the rest is 1.5k and I don’t wanna clog the dash 

Okay SO In my ideal backstory there are two timelines just like the drama but the mythology of the book. The god Kunlun is actually zyl that went back in time and became a god. But the one that went back isn’t the current Zhao Yunlan. There has to be an original timeline where the god Kunlun never existed. Thus the great seal nor the separation of the three realms don’t exist either. Zhao Yunlan must go back in time to become a god, meet Shen Wei in the past, and create the current timeline where the separation exists but isn’t perfect. The current timeline is the one that the majority of the series takes place in.

In the original timeline, Zhao Yunlan is just some dude living in a world where ghosts, fairies, and all other beings just live in a giant free for all and it's kinda just a mess. 

Like there’s government in modern context and all and all races live with each other but there's constant tension. ZYL works at some equivalent of the SID (same staff and side characters, but novel vers. Lin Jing is a monk, CSZ a zombie, etc) to protect people and all that and their job is rather hard. One day encounters the thousands year old ghost king Wei (who isnt shen wei yet bc zyl gave him that name in the future) who works alone as like a rouge cultivator of sorts. He lives on the surface undercover as a professor still bc he’s trying to not catch Yezun’s attention but does all the stuff he normally does as Heipaoshi. The two ally together for a case and bc they both have the same goals of getting all races to live in peace. At current, there are forces working together to decimate the human race, all lead by Yezun

As they work together they become closer and all that. Shen Wei tells him about how he was unable to prevent the great war 5 thousand years ago and neither could the gods so  he’s spent the past 5 thousand years trying to make up for it. As they search for ways to stop Yezun, they gather the 4 hallows and learn how to use them to manipulate time so ZYL can go into the past and stop the great war and separate the three realms (living, dead, ghost).  Shen Wei wants to go back with him but he can’t because he was alive all those years ago so if he goes back it will create a paradox. ZYL promises he’ll find Shen Wei in the past and create a timeline where they could be together in peace (that is the current timeline)

When goes back he becomes the god kunlun because there needed to be a new god born at the time to prevent the war.  Also this time traveller looked promising to Nuwa, Fuxi, and Shennong. And I know in the guardian universe gods are usually born and ppl don’t become gods. EXCEPT this can happen when a god passes on smth from their body onto them bc that did happen in the novel with Kunlun making shen wei a demigod. And since fu you and ma gui are supposed to be gods Nu Wa and Fuxi I think that when they die, they should make ZYL a god and that's how this stuff happens.

So like ZYL explains to the gods the time he came from and how he wants to save everything and they make him a god and he works to save everything just like he did in the drama but this time with the novel plotline. During this time he meets young Shen Wei (he’s still like a hundred or so years old) and they get close and all the stuff from the backstory happens. He gives him his name, all that good stuff. The entire time doesn’t let him know that he’s from the future or that his real name is ZYL. He just poses as kunlun. 

The two of them alongside the other gods (who still die at the times they do in the novel) work together to end the war and establish the great seal and set up the cycle of reincarnation, per the current timeline. Although the seal and cycle of reincarnation aren’t perfect. Gods can’t reincarnate, and ghosts still don’t have souls. And just like the novel, doing all of this kills ZYL bc it takes a lot of energy to create the seal even though it isn’t perfect.

Shen Wei of course doesn’t want ZYL to die and zyl says it's alright because he fixed the timeline so there must One day they will meet again and ZYL reveals the truth about the timeline to shen wei before he dies. This becomes the promise that Shen Wei mentions to meet again. Before he dies, ZYL gives him the shoulder fire as a memento ( i still like the candy wrapper necklace deal but i’ll take this too. Maybe both.. The pendant is still just rlly cool.. Gay ppl)

Shen Wei knows gods can’t enter the cycle of reincarnation and still makes the deal with Shennong to strip Kunlun of his godhood and let him reincarnate. This sets us into the novel timeline where isn’t allowed to meet any of zyl’s reincarnations before he becomes zyl otherwise he will die and also fuck up the timeline. The same 5 thousand years of pining still ensue bc Gay Ppl and i love making Shen Wei suffer but he doesn’t have the shrine room thing bc i think thats weird and yea.. Bad. 

In the meantime Shen Wei does a lot of things mostly just protecting the great seal and working for Hell to keep the peace but still does other stuff. He still watches out for ZYL’s reincarnations but doesn’t do much besides make sure they don’t die a premature death. They meet again finally at the beginning of the series and the timeline resumes like canon. And that's my master plan that merges both drama logic and novel logic while making a much better timeline. (I hope that makes some sense)

Da Qing is still Kunlun’s pet cat and important. Novel backstory applies to him. And I already mentioned him kinda but as for Yezun (Gui Mian in the novel) his deal is similar as in the drama but just a ghost. And he is a big player in the great war, he thought Shen Wei abandoned him as a kid but they were just separated. Shen Wei doesn’t know it's him till the end of the war and couldn’t stop him in the OG timeline and vows to bring him to justice and make amends. Shen Wei continuously tries to explain things to him but he just won’t listen and is imprisoned in hell bc yk… war criminal stuff and yeah he’s the main antagonist trying to break the great seal bc he’s still made about the past. Idk. Yezun wasn’t well written in the novel OR the drama so like… honestly he just needs to be completely rewritten and I don’t care enough about that. He can just be a weak villain idk

the drama characterization stays the same for everyone else bc found family go brr. However for Lao Chu i… hmm… i think he should still be a zombie but the reason he killed someone should be related to his brother. I like that addition and then shen wei realized his sentence was unjust and exempted him. i like that storyline merger. bc the brother thing and him admiring Heipaoshi was drama only. in the novel lao chu just murdered some kid for a rlly whatever reason.

uhhh in terms of the cases… id make adjustments to most of them. i think the li qian case should be like the drama bc the novel just had her as a murderer and it was boring. 

For the mountain river awl one was fine… novel version was funnier and more interesting action wise tbh… rip zyl and his exorbitant flirting. uhhh the whole reveal that shen wei was the soul reaper thing was kinda… ehh in the novel but i did love the comedy of afterwards Shen Wei pretending he went into cardiac arrest when he actually just… has no pulse bc he's a ghost. 

ID KEEP THE WORTH IT SCENE AND RAIN SCENE… THOSE FUCK SO HARD… I love the drama for adding those every damn day. the novel version of zyl losing his sight sucked and was sooo boring.  Keep the drama version on that.

also id keep dr. cheng. i'm very pro dr. cheng and her friendship with shen wei it adds so much to his character imo. keep the fruit seller man and his wife for the merit brush..omg it adds SO MUCH the way the drama did it.. like the drams build up with the novels pace of that arc.. mwah. it felt like it dragged a bit in the drama but if it went faster and without the hospital ep and with sha ya (sorry sha ya) that would've been so good. tho keep novel version of da qings memory loss and lao li. that was rlly impactful.

id say keep some of the cases like the mirror one, the eyes doctor one, etc. just to like.. yk have more to fill in general.. novel pacing but drama characterization without the bs that wasn't fully realized. and novel ending ofc. And that’s it!!

I hope most of this makes some amount of sense  but it probably doesn’t. In my head it all tracks but like ik most of u don’t know anything about the novel so this sounds like gibberish. Also I know this would literally never happen but this is MY ideal merger of the two canons that I feel compelled to expand on for some reason. Anyways, as io said,, we need to rebuild guardian. Like literally let me and the mutuals write Guardian and it will be 500 times better.

[pauleonotis]

So I was thinking. I really adore body swap fanfictions (especially with Drarry, it’s hilarious) but I haven’t read one yet which includes going home over the vacation and to really know the other one better.

Just imagine

Both being annoyed at the beginning and then trying to make the other one suffer by doing some really embarrassing things

Harry having fun being over dramatic

Draco having fun being the chosen one and acting like everyone’s hero, insulting Ron and Hermione

Harry being annoyed that thanks to Draco his friends are really angry at him but having fun complimenting Ron and Hermione (sometimes in front of other students) and being really nice to them

Both, when alone, arguing a lot of how easy it is to be the other one and how much they‘d love having 'such an easy life' and that they shouldn’t dare to ruin their reputation or destroy friendships (or making new ones-)

Harry as Draco forced to go to malfoy manor, finding out Narcissa is actually a loving parent (only when no one can see tho) and Lucius being really harsh to Draco all the time and being really manipulative towards him and instantly talking bad about him whenever he does just a tiny mistake (and it feels like he’s doing everything wrong)

Draco as Harry completely freaked out by the muggle world but even more of how abusive the Dursley’s are

Harry finding out that Narcissa is really scared about Draco’s well being and noticing how horrible it must be to live with death eaters knowing full well that what was once a home for them isn’t anymore and they don’t feel safe there but at least they have each other

Draco finding out about the cupboard and how much the Dursley’s hate magic and is shocked they don’t know (or at least don’t want to know) about anything Harry has done for the whole wizard world

Harry starting to miss his own parents whenever he notices how caring Narcissa is and thinking of how it would’ve been to have a real mother

Draco being constantly reminded of what he said to Harry (for example the time he told him that children who stay at Hogwarts during the vacation are not wanted home etc.)

Harry, even tho he starts to love Narcissa and feeling comfortable around her, being constantly scared and paranoid, doesn’t eat much which seems like it isn’t a new behavior of Draco since Narcissa doesn’t comment on that

Draco trying to cook but failing miserably, constantly in a bad mood for being treated like a house elf and also a little paranoid he might’ve done something wrong during the day for Vernon to yell at him again or Dudley inviting his friends over and making fun of him (he’s starting to hate Dudley because he reminds him so much of hisself towards Harry)

Harry having problems to get any sleep because Voldy is basically right next door and he’s missing his friends so much who probably still hate him thanks to Draco

Draco having problems to get any sleep because he’s missing his mother so much after seing this one photo that Harry possesses of his parents

Harry hugging Narcissa as goodbye when they’re at the train station waiting for the Hogwarts express and being surprised when Narcissa asks him if there’s a potion or something ready so that the body swap will be over soon (because you can’t tell me this woman wouldn’t notice. Tho she didn’t say something since Harry was in constant danger at the manor)

Draco being grateful he managed to get Vernon drive him to the train station but also freaking out because he’s sitting in a muggle transport device, or whatever they call it

Harry awkwardly telling Narcissa about how the swap did happen and that there is indeed a potion to swap them back which needed to be brewed over the vacation

Draco now understanding why Harry grew so fond of the Weasleys after Molly warmly greeting him and then giving him a big hug (fully unaware that this is Draco Malfoy but no one knows about the swap apart from Harry and Draco of course, Slughorn who is brewing the potion, Dumbledore ...and Narcissa) and even Ron and Hermione being happy to see him again even tho he was an ass towards them

Harry wanting to enter the compartment of his friends but hesitating after seing that 'he‘s' with them already and being reminded he has to be alone during the train ride again but oddly enough Hermione invites him in because after being so nice towards them why not

Harry and Draco awkwardly sitting opposite to each other trying not to stare too much and not to answer any questions about how the vacation was and what they did during them

Hermione and Ron looking at each other thinking it’s a rivalry thing again and finding an excuse to leave them alone for a while

Both starting to talk at the same time and then awkwardly stop talking until Harry says to Draco to tell him first

Draco hesitates and somehow gets extremely nervous, he’s trying to say something but nothing comes out and he’s about to give up and tell Harry to start talking first but instead says »I‘m sorry«

Harry is confused and asks for what since the potion accident was his fault after all

Draco huffs and tells him for everything he‘s done and especially for everything he has said (not only towards him also about Hermione and Ron)

Harry just smiles and apologizes too before offering his hand asking him to be his friend

Draco being surprised but accepting his hand (even tho it’s a little weird since both bodies are still switched)

Both getting switched back as soon as they’re at Hogwarts again

They ended up as great friends and both never assumed of the other that his life must be so easy again

They fell on love slowly over the year

Then the fight and everything did happen, Voldy died etc. etc.

After that Harry thanked Narcissa for basically saving his life in the forest and she just smiled (but not just smiled, she looked like a proud mother would look at her child)

Harry and Draco sitting somewhere together a couple of days after everything happened and talking about how scared they were and Draco admitting how horrible it was when Voldy announced him dead

Harry telling Draco it’s not that easy to get rid of him and Draco answering that this better be true or else he’s going to regret it

Both being silent for a while before starting to talk at the same time saying »I think I love you.«

Both blushing really hard after that.

End.

(It’s btw 5am atm and I’m tired as hell but I had to write this down first otherwise I couldn’t sleep anyway so pls don’t be mad for any mistakes either in spelling or whatsoever because my brain usually barely works during this time)

[trulyhopelessromantic]

I need a vent

I'm still recovering from heart surgery. Learned today that recovery should be done at around 6 months... I'm on month 3 (just started)

But I have to help my family and extended family with tasks... And I'm on the verge of annoyance and gratitude and defeat with this fact

All I want to do is get into a routine where I can properly rest, be productive on one or two things a day then relax and do something I would like for leisure before dealing with the unmoveable routine of the evening hours where we must tidy, make supper, put my niece to bed and me have to listen to arguments and whining almost every night about either her eating her food or her bedtime or both. Then peace and quiet for less than 2 hours before I should start getting ready to sleep myself

But I'm being volun-told to help with setting up her online school because my mom gets upset and rage quits if things aren't easily done with a computer/technology and the system that they have in place for online right now wasn't clearly set out/accessible to me who was given a half hour today after I just woke up to set it up on the computer and/or a tablet (which has no storage space left btw) before I had my 'Stress Test' for my heart today to learn about how much physical exertion I can handle. So not a good morning for me today.

I'm being volun-told to help with pricing out insurance items for my grandparents' basement which flooded because my mom cannot do it all on top of her work, helping them with other things at their house, other insurance things for their house, planning her camping vacation coming up beginning of June and more. So because I'm 'available' I've been asked to help.

I'm being volun-told as of this evening I'm also now going to be responsible for selling some things online for my grandparents so that my mom and Aunty don't have to do it (because again they also have a lot on their plates).

My annoyance is that I want to get well in my own time in my own way. Being given tasks to do on top of living in a space where I have to put up with the stresses of living with my brother and niece who have several bad habits between them that stress me out (one of which is never tidying up much after themselves and honestly making quite a mess each day so if not done the mess just mounts and you can't for example use the kitchen counter after day 2 because it's covered in dishes and other items -_- ffff) anyway yeah it's already hard enough on me as it is to wake up each day and have constant stresses from them thrown at me. Then to already be unhappy with my own lack of routine that I do want to establish for myself and also my To Do list not getting done each day to be given tasks to do on top of it is just emotionally draining and makes me feel defeated before I begin.

I'm grateful that I am recovering and that others can see my energy levels are up. I'm grateful that I have my grandparents and my mom to help. I'm grateful that I have enough health to be up and about and to have so much support from these people.

I want to help because I want to make things easier for my mom and her stress levels which are huge also. And I want to help out my grandparents because they do and have done so much for me. These people have been such a huge support for me during this time and I feel happy and willing to inadvertently thank my mom and grandparents by doing something that would help them all out a lot.

But I also just...want to be selfish.

I won a contest to publish my book this year but with the amount of 'work' and research I'm still required to do for it looks like that process may not happen this year especially because of being set back by my heart incident and recovery taking me out of commission for over a month...

And my room is starting to be a mess on surfaces because I don't have the motivation or energy to clean up what's on the desks/put down on the floor in bags. And being in here is stressing me out a mild amount each day due to that.

So I'm just emotionally and mentally not in a good place right now (my mental health supports for this heart thing aren't available til June now) and I don't sleep well most nights (well can't fall asleep easily most nights really is what I should say). So I just wake up already feeling like I have a couple of energy dollars to spend and they automatically get withdrawn towards several reoccurring things and I'm left with so little that I just feel tired and at least the last couple days mentally defeated before I even do anything...

I've got to buck up, put a routine down for myself and stick to it. But again writing out a daily schedule will take time and so that also feels daunting to put my energy towards.

Just gotta do it.

Not even gonna address the pandemic problems I'm having that have taken so many energy and motivations away from me never mind stress relievers... fuck man.

And I know I don't have it as bad as others. I'm just in that phase that I get to where I have less mental energy and need a recharge but I'm not getting it. A 'rut' is what I've nicknamed this part of my cycle of emotions. I do get out of this eventually after a week or two but it's frustrating to be in while I'm here...

Anyway that's all for this rant. Just needed to put it out to the universe otherwise it would weigh me down inside and I don't want that. I want to be lighter in hopes to fall asleep a little faster tonight.

[kazkari]

i'm sorry you had to go through that, and i hope you will never have to again... do you mind sharing your experience? if not, that's understandable, if you don't want to think about it. i hope you can get some justice along with the other victims

This might be a bit rambly, I am currently still trying to sort my thoughts on the thing that are happening...Mind you that I to this point do not have the full info, because even now there’s stuff leaking that makes me go “Oh.��. There’s probably a lot of better and more in-depth accounts by people that were more connected than I am. I might also forget some stuff because wowie this thing goes WAY back. I invite people from back then to add or correct me if I misremembered something!

I am again, going to make abundantly clear that I was neither a close friend of him nor am I one of the underaged people he had inappropriate relations with. I do not claim to be a victim or a survivor. I do not claim to have been abused by him myself. My personal beef with him included that he made me feel like I’m a sad, pitiful loser that nobody would have any interest in besides pity.That my only worth is to be someone’s charity project.  Someone you can point to and go...aw, look at this sad lonely piece of shit...Am I not a good person for talking to them?

 But I’ve also seen the devastating effect his general behaviour had on people, even if I’m not going to bring up any names. 

 I was a mediocre artist in the fandom and, to be completely honest, incredibly immature for my age...Otherwise, I wouldn’t have based so much of my self worth on a parasocial relationship to someone playing videogames on youtube. I’m also going to come forth and say that not all of my behaviour in the past was super great myself. I struggled a lot with mental illness, suicidal ideation and did in no way possess the emotional maturity appropriate for someone my age.It became increasingly evident that there weren’t healthy boundaries in this fandom, whatsoever. I’m ashamed of having not spoken out earlier due to my social anxiety and my fear of getting harassed over it.  This in no way apologizes that I sometimes have acted as an absolute asshole back when I still had wool covering my eyes, just an explanation. I’ve probably hurt my fair share of people, some of I will never even have the ability to apologize to.

From what I can tell my experiences were pretty similar to a lot of other people leaving that cesspool behind. It was a culmination of seeing someone do nothing while their friends struggled, even to the point of suicidal ideation, to just to keep up the facade of a clean funnyman that can do no wrong, seeing the constant outright gaslighting and manipulation targeted at people that brought up even the slightest hint of criticism. People HAVE spoken up and said their piece about these things even back then when they happened, and even years later, but a lot of time warnings and critique were just swept under the rug. It was made abundantly clear, again and again, that fans weren’t taken seriously. The fandom had the reputation of being mostly made up of teenaged girls, which was constantly used against people that “acted up”. It felt like we had nothing to say and no worth beside churning out ass pats and fanart, tbh. I feel like there was a lot of manipulation going on making it seem like most of his shitty behaviour was the result of chey’s bad influence over him. Which is super fucked up. Sure, she didn’t seem like the most pleasant person to be around, btw she was also still very young and suffering from mental illness. It doesn’t excuse some of her behaviour, but making it seem like she as some dark overlord manipulating a grown ass man from the shadows? Nah. People assumed this was a way to paint her as an unredeemable crazy ex-gf in case she leaked some info on him...I get the feeling that some people are still trying to do that.

I’ve seen the way people he was very close to break and fall apart because of the way he treated them like his personal emotional garbage dump. He didn’t treat them like people, in my opinion. People have come forward on social media to detail how he treated them, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I urge you to believe them, they know what they are talking about.

There was the thing where he went for his best friends GF. Where he watched ppl get bullied out of his crew and giving them zero support. I was aware that he was having sexually charged conversations with fans, even during a time most of us didn’t even know he was in a relationship. But again, I was not aware of the scope until much later. I didn’t know it were so many. Apparently, Snake mentioned around 14 during his latest stream? (And it was HARD to know because people that had contact to him did not bring it up lightly.) Later I’d learn that he also talked to people because he felt pity towards them, more than one. It felt like people did just exist because they had some kinda use, either for direct gratification or because he could feel like a better person for saving them in some weird self-serving way.

I also hope there will be justice for the people he has hurt. They didn’t deserve to be treated like this. 

[callsigndreadfrost]

Which of your ocs are in a relationship and which are single?

Aaaaahhh 💖💖💖

Ok so current state of things now.

Eli, Loke and Jelani's paternal grandmother, is a widow and prefers to stay single. She would just rather not date or what have you.

Subira and Jelani, Loke and Jelani's maternal grandparents, have probably been married for about as long as the sun has been setting and rising and still act like teenagers in love.

Sanaa and Ingvarr, Loke and Jelani's parents, have been married for a fuck ton of years and are blissfully happy and somehow still have a fairytale type of marriage. To this day he still worships the ground she walks on.

Grete and Jørgen (Ingvarr's younger brother), Loke and Jelani's aunt and uncle, have been married even longer than Ingvarr and Sanaa have been. They're super comfortable together and are very happy.

Nkosazana and Jaali (Sanaa's older brother), Loke and Jelani's aunt and uncle, married in December 31, 1999 because honestly they thought it would be fun.

Fae (Sanaa's younger sister) and Shawn, Loke and Jelani's aunt and uncle, married a year after their first daughter was born. Marriage was always the goal but Leah just made it come a lot faster than intended but otherwise they're super happy. And even happier later when they had the triplets.

Aleksey, Angelus' grandfather, is single as he doesn't care for marriage or even relationships. There was ONE exception but she declined. They had a kid together and the rest is history.

Mahmud has two partners, one of which is AJ! He's very devoted to both and are all three altogether happy.

Radek and Shaine have been married for over 30 years. Not the oldest marriage but not the most recent either.

Tre is kind of a wildcard. One minute he's dating a girl and the next he's moved on to another one. Not exactly the most stable. He just doesn't know what he wants at the moment.

Latoya is currently dating a woman (Jade) and she just wants things to go by smoothly and easy. No rushing anything. She hasn't had more than 3 relationships in her life so she's kinda shy about it.

Manami is currently single. She ain't looking but she isn't exactly opposed to it.

Mason is single. However, Mason is crushing hard on Jelani but that ain't gonna ever happen or go anywhere. The man's married and even if Jelani and Angelus do have threesomes sometimes Jela knows about Mason so she wants to put as much distance in that sense between 'em.

Ginger and Abigail are married. April 28th because Abby wanted a spring wedding and who was Ginger to deny her? So they had a goth spring wedding. I don't actually like setting dates for any event in the current era but for the sake of argument let's just say it was in 2016. Before Abby Ginger used to be with Jelani but they split amicably because she actually prefers women a bit more than men. Still good friends and she is his husband's best friend.

Loke is currently single. If he finds someone that's fantastic, if he doesn't that's fantastic too. They're happy either way.

Trevor is aromantic so he doesn't need or want relationships. Bit of a slut that one not gonna lie. Jela had actually fallen in love with him (obviously before he was with Angelus) and that kinda put a strain on their friendship but they worked it out and now they're back to being really good friends. Trevor also fucked Loke a couple of times and then everyone else found out. Despite all this Trevor will actually get together with a woman (he's pansexual btw) who is also aromantic but both end up having a child. They both have a constant hand in raising their kid and the kid ends up with a bunch of really weird aunts and uncles. Don't have a date for when this will happen yet though. I wrote the mom's name down somewhere but I freaking lost the note, probably buried in all the notes I got everywhere. Trevor names his son after his little brother who died centuries ago. Connor.

Jelani and Angelus are happily married since December 23, 2017. Ya know how they say marry your best friend? They did and it's been a dream since especially for Angelus 'cause he's been in love with him since he was a kid. They sometimes bring in a third person to fuck around with for the night. Only exceptions are Trevor and Loke because Trevor and Loke are kinda like big brothers to Angelus, Trevor also sees Angelus like a little brother and Loke and Jelani are siblings so absolutely the fuck not. Ew.

That's everyone I could think of! :}

[depressedkakashihatake]

I took a criminology college course in highschool (and passed), and it's entirely possible for minors ages 15-16 to get tried as adults for certain offenses. And in the college au Obito would've been around 16 years old when his HPD symptoms went full force after learning Kakashi didn't have a crush on him anymore. What could've happened is Obito attacking Kakashi during that period led to Obito slashing Kakashi's left eye with a knife, meaning Kakashi now has a scar and is partially blind (1/2)

in that eye. It would make sense since Obito would've been tried and acquitted for 1st degree murder (btw our teacher was ex military & told us there no such thing as 3rd degree murder) and that's why he's been locked up in prison ever since. All I'm saying is: 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘵𝘴. (2/2) - Sanna

It does fit XD also who even came up with '3rd degree murder*??? That's not a thing wtf?

Kakashi hates looking in the mirror and seeing his eye. It's a constant reminder of what happened.

So he doesn't have mirrors at home. Gai has one mirror that's portable that he uses, but otherwise Kakashi just relies on Gai telling him if he looks presentable or not (which doesn't always work out in Kakashi's favour cuz sometimes Gai doesn't tell him that his hair is exceptionally messy today).

And even to this day Kakashi will freak if someone manages to sneak up behind him because that's how Obito got to him the first time. The only place he feels safe enough to let his guards down is at home, and obito ryins that for him. Kakashi has not had to move out of his home twice because the bastard made it feel unsafe to him

[nycfae]

pix power masterlist ! 

( this was totally inspired by @towercursed btw—not so subtle shout out but you should go follow right this instant )

so, to start off, let’s establish really quick that pix can do basically all the same things in her small form as she can in her hero form, just to a lesser extent. while i still have no idea what exactly powers her transformation other than some form of magic, i’m going to assume until proven otherwise ( and probably even after that ) that whatever magic allows her to transform into her hero form also gives her a major magic boost, but only to stuff she already had. 

so ! powers ! 

1. flight. this one’s pretty self-explanatory. she’s got the wings for it, after all, and while realistically they wouldn’t be enough to get her off the ground, fae magic allows for that sort of thing. she’s obviously faster in her hero form, but nothing to sneeze at in her smaller form either. she has no idea how fast she can register on a speedometer, but hopes to one day figure it out.

2. plant manipulation / arborkinesis / botanokinesis. this one is also pretty much exactly what is says on the tin, but it’s based on magic instead of any sort of mutation or anything. pix has incredible power over plant life—she can accelerate the growth of basically everything, even in harsh conditions. her main methods of attack are using vines to trip up and / or grab her foes, but she’s been known to use more creative methods as well. she’s not super amazing at using the healing properties of plants ( mostly because of different biologies; what works for fae may not work for humans ), but she’s got some basics down after trial and error periods, and is always willing to learn more about how she can use this magic more effectively. 

3. glamour. pix is actually really good at glamour even without the magical power boost; it’s just something she’s got a natural talent for, even if that doesn’t really translate to any sort of fae job or anything. she also practices a lot, which helps. but basically, pix has two kinds of glamour; conscious, and unconscious. 

conscious is when she deliberately uses magic to change her appearance, or the sound of her voice ( so it doesn’t sound like bells or so it sounds like another language to someone else ), etc. this is how she maintains a human form, though it was the magic boost that allowed her to finally perfect it, since her hero form and human form are really similar ( obviously ). 

unconscious is the kind of glamour that’s more like an aura, and it’s not specific to pixi; all fae have this. this is the kind of glamour that messes with people’s recognition, or what makes cameras and other recording devices short out / get fuzzy pictures. sometimes it’s more intense than others ( it also depends on what she’s doing at the time ) but this is the main reason the people in NYC don’t really have any specifics on what’s going on—any collateral due to pix and the monster of the week fighting is chalked up to natural disaster, like the witches of madoka magica. 

this isn’t really a power, it more comes with the territory of being a faerie, but pix is also pretty long-lived. like, she could easily get to hundreds of years old without any trouble. i haven’t decided just how long she’s going to live ( nor really how that translates right now with her chronological / biological age ), but just know that she’s gonna live a Long ass time unless something gets her first. 

and those are the three main ones that she’s using on a constant basis / are obvious without anything from the show having come out. obviously, there may be things added as we get more information ( if that ever happens......... ) because i have no idea where they’re thinking of going from a power standpoint for her other than the obvious, but depending on what happens, this list may be in flux. but for right now, these are the big three !

[margridarnauds]

Ronan/Laz and Wash/Mira

Thank you!

Ronan/Laz

To fully understand my relationship with this ship, we have to go into one of the darkest periods of my life, a period of time that, to this day, I struggle to talk about: The first time I was into 1789, circa 2015-ish. I was young, I was impetuous, I was heavily closeted (to myself; my mom had already given me my “YOU KNOW I WILL LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS” conversation) and…I shipped…Ronan/Olympe. 

100%. 

Like, “Google Translated French Fanfiction on FF.net to get more content” shipped it. (Now, I suspect it’s because I was a bisexual mess, but I digress). 

As I said, a dark, cursed time where I shipped the *100% canon* brother-in- law/sister-in-law. 

I barely remember it. I scarcely acknowledge it happened. It physically pains me to mention it.

I had the Takarazuka version, but I didn’t have subtitles to it and, as a result, I didn’t really…watch it…all the way through, instead skipping around as it suited me. I knew about Laz’s sex dungeon, but it really didn’t…register, I suppose? How very, very gay it was and the chemistry that was there. I did NOT like Lazare, I didn’t see why he occupied a considerable piece of fandom time (Not enough) when he has such a small role and he’s portrayed fairly consistently as an asshole throughout the musical (Yes, he’s an asshole, but he’s my asshole now). R/L has NOTHING on FF.net to this day and, I don’t think at the time, there was anything on AO3? And if there was, I don’t remember seeing it and, if I did, I’m pretty sure my initial reaction would still have been, “Who cares about Lazare? He’s so mean! EW!” (Oh, my sweet, naive, teenaged self. How the tables will turn. How the tables will turn.) 

Now, it’s hard to sustain an interest in a show with negative chemistry between the leads and the growing realization that French!Ronan is an asshole, and eventually my interest in 1789 dimmed considerably. Not entirely faded, but dimmed. 

Then came The Stream. 

So, last year, around June-ish, the Moraholics set up a series of European Musical streams that lasted around half a year and was an absolute masterpiece of cooperation, and among them, we had the Takarazuka 1789, as subbed and hosted by the utterly phenomenal @berncat, who I’m eternally grateful to but who is also still not off the hook for getting me back into this Hell. And, suffice it to say (1) Having the Japanese actually translated and, for example, hearing Lazare promise to “give [Ronan] release” while looking at him with bedroom eyes, (2) Watching Magee with that whip, answering many questions about my sexuality that I didn’t know I had, and (3) Watching it with a group of people who were likewise cheering it on was a completely different experience with the musical than I’d had before and I jumped onto the ship HARD. (Btw, whoever said, “Someone should write a smutfic with Peyrol/Ronan” fuck you because it’s been nearly a year and the Abomination is, well, the Abomination and my 2k-4k pwp is now a sprawling universe in its own right currently clocking in at around 31k words and most of them aren’t even smutty, damn it). And, the week immediately afterwards, we watched the French and, well…

If I had any doubts about the viability of French!L/R, this kind of showed me that they were unfounded, with the Other Maniaque video (You know the one to which I refer) being the clencher (Was it really necessary to nuzzle your future arch-enemy, Ronan? And Laz, couldn’t you have been at least a little more proactive in making sure you didn’t get peasant germs on your nice fur coat rather than leaning into him?) That’s the weakest ass intimidation tactic I’ve ever seen and the only way I can justify it is Laz being in a constant state of “CUTE PEASANT BOY ABORT ABORT. CONCEAL DON’T FEEL” Right now, the only production I’m not really certain about is the Toho, since it looks like the Lazare there is significantly more…brutal than we’ve gotten before but, tbh, I can probably find some way to ship it there by selectively ignoring the canon as I always do. 

So, yeah, I’ve basically been stuck in 1789 Hell since then, because apparently my brain said, “Special Interest? SPECIAL INTEREST?” It’s a bit unusual to me since I’m really not used to actually creating content for a ship this much (even if very little of it gets published). 

I still ship it as hard if not harder than I did when I first jumped on; I think that they both have the most potential for growth and development from each other and the most potential as far as an overall plot arc (and delicious, delicious angst, hence why, across the board, no matter how much of the French production I bring into a given WIP, I always keep Peyrol being the one responsible for Ronan getting shot, though there’s also significant angst potential in Peyrol not knowing, thinking bitterly that Ronan had gotten what he wanted but still going back to their apartment only to find it empty, keeping hope that he’s alive for the rest of the night even as it becomes increasingly unlikely, thinking that perhaps Ronan’s still mad at him for everything that happened in Nous ne Sommes, only to learn the next day that Ronan’s dead). I can drop them into roughly any situation, both in the French Revolution and outside of it, and, for the most part, I can have fun with it. September Massacres? Check. Zombie Apocalypse? Check. Being dropped into the Cretaceous Period? Check. One of them’s a dragon who abducts the other one? Check. Afterlife Fic? Check. Going to Disney World together? Check. I was going to say “Childhood Friends AU” but we both know that only leads to pain but, otherwise? CHECK. 

It’s very much a multipurpose ship for me; I can do basically whatever I want with it as it suits my mood, and Lazare de Peyrol is an absolutely fantastic torture subject.10/10 would recommend. 

Mira/Wash

I hadn’t even considered this one until you brought it up and I’m very, very grateful you did because ANGST! PAIN! BETRAYAL! ANGST! WASH GETTING CHARACTERIZATION! ANGST! BONDAGE! ANGST! It’s definitely my dominant OTP for Terra Nova, I absolutely love it to bits. I liked both Wash and Mira the first time I watched it; I thought that both of them were more interesting than the main plot we got and, tbh, I wanted Wash content that wasn’t necessarily Wash/Taylor centered because I tried it once and it just felt…off. It’s not “NO BAD WRONG” for me and I have the distinct feeling that it’s what the writers were edging towards (which, given the other relationships in TN, might be why it felt off), but I definitely ended up preferring it as mutual, longstanding respect/loyalty rather than an actual romance.

 So, Mira was definitely a better fit for me, in the sense that there’s a lot of potential there for Wash’s characterization that’s not really touched on in the show, there’s a chance for conflict for both of them, there’s a lot of potential as far as backstory, etc. And, looking at the trajectory of the series after Taylor goes, to use the clinical term, bat-shit insane, I think that there’s a lot of potential for a team up between the two of them and a moment where they basically end up meeting in the center so they can fuck up their respective old sides together, get Sienna, and live happily ever after. (Which is also why the Taylor/Mira team up was such a waste compared to Wash/Mira, because WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SET UP THAT OPPORTUNITY FOR A PARALLEL SCENE IN A FEW SEASONS AND NOT USE IT.) 

The only reason I’m not as active with it as I am with, say, Laz and Ronan is because I feel significantly more uncomfortable writing in sci-fi and fantasy settings than I am with historical fiction/modern day fics. Because with that stuff, I have a decent grasp of the world I’m dealing with, how it works, the basic technology I’m dealing with, how to navigate it, etc. whereas with a sci-fi/fantasy element, it’s harder to nail it down, especially with something like TN where we got so little time in the world and most of it was wasted doing other things. (GIVE ME A SERIES BIBLE, SPIELBERG YOU COWARD; NOT JUST THE ARCS AND MYTHOLOGY WITH CREEPY!!TAYLOR.) I can’t really do research on it the same way I can for, say, The Women’s March to Versailles, and I don’t personally feel like I have as good of a grasp on that universe as a whole. I’m fine taking the characters in places that would make the original writers faint, but I want to have a decent grounding for it when I do it. 

[koganphrancis]

Last night’s Shameless was so bad, Cameron had to tweet this deleted shit to try to provide some context.

Here’s his caption: “Many notable scenes are cut each season, but I was really disappointed to see this beautiful bit of writing by Dominique Morriseau go. Hope we’ll get to see it in DVD extras.”

So once again I’ll deal with this stupid shit before I deal with the episode’s stupid shit.  I for one am grateful this bit didn’t make it into the show.  I’ll start with the obvious-it’s more dismissal/retconning of Mickey and not only what he did actually do for Ian, but also of what he meant TO Ian.  Fans over on Twitter are saying what Ian said was technically true-that Mickey didn’t tell him he was amazing or could be something.  To me that’s splitting hairs-if Ian was too dense to see that Mickey thought the world of Ian, that he thought Ian could do anything he wanted to, that’s on Ian.  Mickey, more importantly, never BLOCKED Ian from doing anything he wanted to do.  Ian had a better source of support than most people ever get, and the show keeps insisting that it didn’t happen.

The next thing that bugs the hell out of me in that speech is that IAN DIDN’T DO ANY OF THAT FOR MICKEY EITHER.  So, even if he one hundred percent believes what he’s saying, he’s also saying that he knows that was wrong, so where was he when Mickey needed someone telling him he didn’t need to be a thug/drug dealer/pimp?  

And beyond that-why didn’t Ian ever visit Mickey in prison then?  If he’s aware that having someone believe in you makes all the difference?  AND WHY ISN’T IAN THERE FOR YEVGENY?  So, sorry, Cam, this “beautiful bit of writing” sucked.  

I will say that cutting the scene made what happened between Ian and the girl and Ian and Terror completely pointless and meaningless, but, hey!  That’s Shameless for you!  

Now for the episode itself-read more if you dare...

It was so shitty I’m really not going to waste time on most of it.  A few bullet points:

Ian’s done mourning (at least this week he was.  Since every week everyone is acting completely different from the week before, maybe mourning for Monica will be a thing for him again?).

Ian still has his job despite running out before his shift last week.  I’m not surprised, but they don’t even address it?

Fiona says utilities are included in the rent she’s charging-um, really?  I don’t know anything about the housing situation in Chicago, but in Massachusetts utilities aren’t included because of the cost of heating in winter/cooling in summer-and even if Fiona doesn’t pay for whatever is heating those apartments, since electricity is included in the fixed rent wouldn’t people just buy a shit ton of plug-in heaters and let her carry the expense?  

The cock mug was back-but Debbie drank out of it, not Ian.

Ian took “a” med-guess they found he only needs one drug to keep all his symptoms in check?  

Lip dreamed about tits (sorry you had to direct that scene, Regina King-you deserve better), but not one of his dream girls looked anything like Snore, LOL.  Snore was only in the background at the diner for one scene-no lines.  She’s the new Liam.  I don’t get why they brought her back this season when they obviously cottoned onto the fact that she’s not that good an actress.  Lip winds up banging the kickass chick at  the bike shop, but they’ve telegraphed that she’s going to be a Sex Addicts Anonymous participant and Lip’s sponsor will probably wind up having to lecture him at some point.  Yawn.  Youens wasn’t mentioned at all in this episode-maybe they’re done with him too?  Lip bringing that one meeting to his house took care of that?

The stuff with Kev’s family was reminiscent of Frank’s time at the commune with the yurts and did anyone need more of that?  Also, I’m sorry if I was supposed to get indignant on Kev’s behalf that the Kentucky folk abandoned him to go into foster care-Kev has a son with Vee’s mother that he has nothing to do with either, so maybe put that rock away while you’re in that glass house?  

Frank being a turn on to any woman is something they’ve done to death and it’s more unrealistic each time.  

Fiona had some big cathartic thing happen from Sean popping up-not really though.  There was the typical trope of her spewing all her shit before Sean could say why he was there, so all she did was look like a jackass assuming he was back to win her fair hand all over again when he was actually there to make amends and tell her he’s married.  She said a bunch of stuff about never being able to trust him that Terror should’ve said in 7X12 in a final farewell to the series scene.  Fiona went on and on about how Sean ripped her world apart and he was the love of her life and all this shit that the show never showed.  It was such crap and do they really think we’re invested in any of it?  Had they shown her suffering/missing him after the wedding fell through, maybe, but they didn’t and it’s too late to convince us now.  (BTW Sean’s wife was young and pretty-of course she was.)  

The other Fiona thing for the week is that Nessa is her fucking toady at the apartment building-in constant touch with Fi and acting as her right hand when she’s not there...doesn’t she have a job as an accountant for an airline?  Isn’t that a pretty much 9-5 job?

Liam’s still in school, but Carl’s not in school?  What?  Also, Carl’s storyline is as boring as it is unbelievable and again I can’t believe that they expect us to be invested in it.  The veteran he’s going to help out-had no lines.  

Now the Ian stuff.  First off, anyone can just wander in the EMT bay where they keep the open, unlocked trucks.  The chick Ian helped in a previous episode turns up saying how he said if she needed help, she could go to him.  Then the cut scene should’ve happened, but all we got was Ian tucking her in on the couch and walking up the stairs, pausing to look back at her.  The scene was...weird.  The girl looks a bit like a poor man’s Peyton List-same moon face, just take Pey’s make up and hair extensions off and she could’ve played the role-and that just took me out of the story-we’re supposed to feel a bit anxious about Ian being involved with a teen here, so how ‘bout irl?  

Anyway, next time we see Ian, he’s waking up in his tiny bed with the girl laying there with him.  Damn Ian must be a sound sleeper if he didn’t notice someone crowding in there with him-remember, he’s only taking one med now, so I’m not buying that it knocks him out unless it was a Benadryl.  Ian’s only in boxers (so at least my prediction of never seeing him shirtless again didn’t come true-but who wants to see him topless with a teenage girl?), and he wakes the girl up and climbs over her and pulls some pants on.  She gets out of his bed in just her undies and a tight tank top and says it was creepy downstairs so she came up to sleep with him.  

So, in this week’s “there’s been no character development” highlight-here we have Ian acting as clueless as he was with Mandy in Season 1, when 15 year old Ian couldn’t find a way to let a girl know he’s gay/not interested in them/that it’s wrong for them to be all over him.  Let’s reset Ian to zero-forget all his life experience AND make him so dumb as a 22 year old that he doesn’t realize he needs to tell teen girls NOT to get into bed with him.  Nope, he just picks up her phone off his bed and puts his number in there so she can call him “the next time she needs a place to crash”.  

Lip sees the chick come out of Ian’s room-doesn’t even say anything about the age of consent or whatever.  

The girl must see herself out, because next we have Lip and Ian coming into the kitchen where Fiona has been sitting up all night smoking Lip’s pack of Camels.  Ian misses a perfect opportunity to tell Fi she’s lucky Sean’s married to someone else-he would’ve set a match to her life otherwise.  Ian’s wearing a tank top by now and he has a farmers tan and it made me sad.  

Next time we see Ian, Terror pops up in the truck bay at work.  He gives Ian shit about the teen girl, Ian says he was just trying to help, they try to argue but their lack of chemistry smothers that too.  Even though for once Ian sort of sticks up for himself and says, “Would you mind easing up a bit” (on the lecturing), it was just lame.  Terror says Ian can’t let kids from the shelter sleep with him, Ian says, “I’m gay,” (so, Terror didn’t know?) and that there was nothing sexual about it and he was just trying to help, but Terror says she’s an incest victim and these kids don’t know when something’s sexual or not (or something-I didn’t bother jotting it down).  For once Terror has a point, except he ruins it by making it all about HIM, as always.  He says it’s bullshit that Ian was trying to help (um, no it’s not?  He really was?) and that Ian’s trying to weasel his way back into Terror’s life, but then, instead of telling Ian that they’re never going to get back together, he just says, “do not use these kids to do it.”  UGH!  NOOOO!  That was as much as saying, “We’re going to get back together, but not for this reason.”  FUCK NO!!!!  DEVIL!!!!  Ian at least gives him a fuck you look to end the scene, but...

the next time we see Ian, he’s walking home in his bright red sneakers and Terror pulls up next to him in his shitty little Terror-mobile.  He gets out of the car and commends Ian for Teenie wanting to get into a junior firefighters’ program (which makes zero sense without Cam’s tweet).  Ian says something like did he do  something right or whatever, and asshole Terror says, “You’re not out of the doghouse-yet.”  NOOOOOO!  Not “yet”!  Fuck you, Terror, just walk away from this!  He’ll fuck you over and you know it!  You’re never going to keep him interested in you-no one knows why he’s ever been involved with you to begin with!!!!  Ian perks up like the kicked puppy he is with these assholes and says, “What can I do to make it right?”  Terror says he can help him find housing for the kids.  WHAT?  HOW?  Terror has contacts and ways of making that happen and he can’t do it-WTF is Ian supposed to do?  What a lame, obvious plot point to keep them “together”.  It’s such horseshit!!!  Anyway, Ian says, “OK, I can do that,” and fucking Terror says, “Thank you.”  I’m now predicting that Geneva the teen dies in the episode after next and Ian cries down at the docks and Terror follows him there to tell him it isn’t his fault, he tried, and then they’ll fuck and I’ll puke.  

The final scene is the family (and Nessa?) all gathered in the living room, and all it did was highlight what a pale shadow the show is of its former self.  They’ve lost whatever spark they used to have.  

A final thought: Terror’s eyebrows are really taking over his entire face.  In the scene in the EMT barn, they were all I could see.  They just sit there like big furry caterpillars and make his face even less expressive as an actor.  

[nekodracones]

How to Run a Team, as Instructed by A Shitty Leader

So you have a team.  You know that you need to recruit to replace the slackers. You know that you need to enforce rules and keep your remaining cats in line.  You know that you need to Exhibit Leadership Qualities.

But how?

At this point I should remind you that when I say ‘leader’, I mean that I have some really terrible innate leadership instincts, not that I actually ran teams into the ground by leading them.  If you read this post-

- I wasn’t exaggerating.  I had been leader of my team then for minutes at a time, when my leader forgot himself and accidentally promoted me on occasion.  Maybe that qualifies me for both definitions of the word!  

However, in the two years I helped to run my team, said team has had fewer than 5 teammates leave for a different team because they were dissatisfied with how things were in our team.

I should clarify that not all these points describe how we ran our team, but rather how I wish we could have.  It’s often not possible to stick to all these pointers; but we must all do the best we can.  I don’t help to run that team, now; I’m not even on that team.  Even so, I feel like the points below are mostly universally applicable and honestly pretty common-sense.  

Sometimes, we all just need a reminder.  Who better than this shitty leader who needed constant conscious introspection and reasoning to lead a team?

...---...

BASICS

1. Know your team.  Take the time to get to know your most active members, and then take the time to reach out to and speak to your less active members.  This helps to build a bond between you and your individual members.  It’s helpful to make your teammates feel like they can come to you when they have concerns.

2. Know your leadership.  Your officers, your leader- these are the people who will be supporting you in the weeks and months to come.  It is important to ensure that all of you can trust each other to come forward with opinions you may have. Keep your lines of communication open so all of you are aware of what’s happening within the team at any one given time.

3. Help your team know each other.  It’s good to have at least one common chat open for game discussion and socialisation.  This helps your team get to know each other better and build stronger bonds of community that make this social game a much more fun one to play. - You can opt to separate the two, to cater to people who may want a pure game-related chat.  Ensure that you police the division between game-related and social chatter.  The upside of this is that you can add random people and alumni to your social chat and not have to worry about them SPYING on your team.  My old team’s social still manages to be one of my favourite chats in LINE. - Speaking of LINE, some teams choose to use Discord, WhatsApp, or Slack as messaging alternatives.  I’m fond of LINE, as it’s the most popular messaging app and is hence more convenient for getting in touch with people who aren’t on your team.  It’s also anonymous, which is important for some people to feel comfortable. - Starting weekly team calls is something that many teams choose to do.  It, however, often falls to leadership to initiate and begin such a team tradition, so it’s less socially pressuring for teammates to join and establish such a habit.  Feel free to inform your team beforehand so they can set aside time, if they’re interested.

4. Know your partners.  Particularly relevant for Atlas teams, know your 5ta leadership well and get to know your extended alliance’s leaders well, when you get the chance.  Atlas is a political game, except it’s politics are based on who you’re friends with, and who will vouch for you.  It may sound scary, but really it’s just about making friends with the people you want to be friends with.

...---...

MINIMUMS AND EXPECTATIONS

5. Set your rules and guidelines.  And then make them clear and accessible in the team wiki, LINE notes, or otherwise.  Ensure your team is aware of them. A good team is one that expects all it’s members to adhere to the same standards, and a clearly visible set of guidelines is key in enforcing that. 6. Ensure that your new recruits are aware of these expectations.  Again, no matter their size, it’s important to hold everyone to the same standards.  Make sure that you’ve impressed this upon your new recruits so they aren’t surprised when they join.

7. Be flexible.  This may seem to stand at a counterpoint to the last two points, but it’s important to recognise that at the end of the day, War Dragons is only a game, and real life can often get in the way of us fulfilling in game obligations.  I personally emphasised that if anyone was aware they wouldn’t be able to meet minimums for any particular week, it would be fine to seek clemency in advance.  If they don’t meet minimums without letting you know, consider asking what’s up before booting them.  For longer periods of time, though, consider discussing moving them off the team, to keep it fair to the rest of the team.

8. Think about why you’re setting certain minimums and policies.  Sometimes, leaders may choose to set minimums arbitrarily without considering why exactly they’re doing so.   - Personally, I never set minimums for Fort and Breed- I wanted my members to be able to progress the way they wish instead of arbitrarily spending resources to get points. - Troop minimums made very little sense for our team- we had recruited a team of responsible people who knew how to manage their troops, and we didn’t want to stop people from sniping their little hearts out.  This team I speak of is currently ranked amongst and above a majority of diamond teams for troops killed, now. - Bank policies are good to think about- how can you make them fair for your team?  Do you want people to pay taxes, or submit donations, or otherwise?  Does it make sense to restrict food and wood withdrawals outside of fort and breed?  How can you make the distribution system fair? - I made a post about PvP minimums here, too, if you want to look into this topic further.  

9. Give your teammates a voice.  Make sure that they’re aware that they can speak up if they agree or disagree with certain policies, minimums, and expectations.  This helps your teammates feel included and cared about.

...---...

RECRUITMENT AND REPLACEMENT

10. Recruitment: Long Term vs Short Term.  This is an important consideration for any team, and you should consider your team’s specific situation to make a decision on this.  Anything I say in this section holds true for merges, as well, btw. - Long term recruitment: You hold off on many meh recruits for those recruits you want to keep and grow, in the long term.  The downside of this is that you’ll probably be waiting a long time. - Short term recruitment: You go through new recruits by constantly upgrading to newer, better models.  The downside of this is that you’ll probably destabilise your team’s social fabric in the long term by making so many changes to your roster in short order. 11. What makes your team attractive?  This may be quite duh, but, what sets your team apart from everyone else’s standard egg tokens, castles, etc.?  Every team has those.  What makes you different?  Capitalize on these to stand out to new recruits.  Also please stop with the one-note recruitment posters, unless you have fun making them.  Then carry on.

12. Give the people you’re replacing time to find new teams.  With few exceptions, these are players who have contributed to making your team what it is today.  As much as possible, give them a few days to find a new team. 13.  Vet your recruits well.  Remember, these are people you’re letting onto your team.  What they do and how they behave will directly affect your team’s performance.  You can spare an hour to just chat with them and get a better feel of their personality and how they will fit on your team, beyond their game performance. 14. Make your recruits feel welcome.  Take the time to go through team conventions and rules with them when they first join.  They may be from a very different team environment.  Check in with them often in the first week to see how they’re settling in.  It’s good to send out a weekly mail to introduce everyone to each other, to ease transitions into the team.

...---... EVENTS AND ATLAS 15. Be gracious.  Don’t take losses personally, and don’t gloat (too much or publicly! Have some fun!) over your wins.  Leadership’s attitude towards any occurrence in the game will affect team morale.  Other people’s opinions are secondary, but they’re entitled to what they think, too.  Accept this as well.

16. Your team comes first.  Ahead of your personal interests.  Ahead of the interests of your friends on other teams.  You’re responsible for the gameplay and enjoyment of 49 other people.  Please don’t be that team that does officer only guard swaps, or sets up farm bases to swap with another team without informing your members.  This also means that you can and should feel free to ignore opinions by other teams, on your team.  They matter far less, so long as your team is happy.  You know your team best, and haters gonna hate.

17. Be certain of how you want to play your game.  There’s no shame in sandbagging.  There’s no shame in choosing to target only certain teams in PvP.  There’s no shame in sniping.  Are you certain you want to take a gifted castle?  Are you certain you want to swap guards?  Are you certain you want to help in this failed raid?  There’s no shame in playing the game as you are allowed to play it.  All that matters is that your team is in agreement, and you can reconcile how you play with your conscience.

18. Do what makes you and your team happy.  You don’t need to be efficient to enjoy your game.  As long as your team is fine with it, go pirate your little hearts out!  Sandbag away!  The world is your oyster!

19. Form your own opinions. In this age of some pretty propagandised Atlas movements, consider what you’ve personally observed of the subjects at hand and form your own opinions based on that instead of listening in to gossip.  You’ll be much happier distancing yourself and your team from drama, too. 20. Think long term.  If you agree to gate this T4, you’ll get a T4, but in the long term, will your team’s troop loss be worth it?  If you don’t participate in Atlas battles with your alliance, what happens when you’re forced on defence?

21. Stay humble.  No team is the best in every single category.  There’s always something new to learn from everyone else.  Some pride in your team is good, but too much is hubris.  It results in things like teams threatening to destroy other teams and getting destroyed instead.  Conversely...

22. Keep your own counsel.  If you play your cards close to your chest, this is how you become that team that destroys all bragging comers.  Crouching tiger, hidden dragon!

23. Be proud of your team.  This may seem contradictory, but you know your own team’s strength best.  Confidence boosts your team’s morale, and increases activity.

24. Communicate early.  If you have a guard swap coming up, give a few days’ of notice.  If you need people online for a mega wave at the end of a fight pits round, tag in advance.  If you’re going to change minimums for the week for any given reason, give notice.  This gives time for people to discuss any concerns they may have about changes with you.

25. Lead by Example.  Leading a team is a thankless job, but in return you get the respect and recognition of all your teammates.  This means they will look to you to embody a platonic ideal of the team they love.  Make sure that you’re helping them open paths in TR, that you’re supporting them for XP runs, and that you’re right there with them hitting low glory teams to open paths. That’s all I can think of for now.  If you have other topics/points to add on, feel free to PM/submit an ask to me so I can add it.

[pro-bee]

- Rough day? - Rough year.

This is so, so good.

I mean, in a really terrible, punch-you-in-the-gut kind of way, but still.

I just love the specter of Ziva’s presence continuing to haunt Tony. Not that I wish that pain on anyone, fictional or otherwise, but again, I like that it acknowledges the show’s history and Tony’s emotional history, and the Star of David in his desk is a constant reminder of what could have been and should have been. Because it shows us that yes, this did happen, and this is still important, and this person may not be here but she’s still here, and it’s really difficult to deal with that on a daily basis. 

Because Tony could have moved that necklace to a safer spot, or buried it deep inside his apartment and avoided it, but he chose to leave it in his desk drawer, where he’d see it constantly and be reminded constantly of her. Because he doesn’t want to forget, and in many ways, he probably doesn’t want to move on even though he knows he should, because she is it and he knows it and it’s really painful to admit that that is probably never going to happen. Abby’s right, he can’t keep living in this limbo, because he’s going to end up as alone and emotionally crippled as Gibbs, and while they all may love Boss, they must know that that’s no way to live, either.

But now that he’s been confronted with his past yet again via Zoe, he’s starting to question what it is he’s doing now. Because now he’s reunited with someone he also has a different kind of history with, and it’s comfortable and familiar and feels nice, and it may be time to admit that the time has come to give up on one dream in order to pursue another kind of dream. One where an old friend comes back to town and is there. (It’s probably no accident that all the talk of Ziva leaving and never coming back parallels Zoe returning to his life in DC and offering to stay the night simply to catch up. One door closes, another opens, etc.) And it’s a testament to Tony’s growth that he opens up to Zoe so easily, and starts to tell her things he obviously hasn’t been able to tell anyone else in his circle this year. 

But again, Tony is being allowed to feel the pain of Ziva’s loss, and the loss of what might have had, and everything that goes with that. It took them so long to get to where they were and they nearly lost each other a dozen times and a dozen different ways, that it must have been so hard to think that this time was it. Hell, he went to the ends of the earth to find her more than once and they still survived. An El-Al flight away probably seems like the least likely way to end it so terminally.

“Tony, I didn’t know where you went. One day, we were patrolling River Drive, and the next... You were just gone. You just up and left. Not a phone call, not a single word...

“You needed to find your own way. I never faulted you for that. But I deserve better.”

Okay, so who are we talking about here?

Yes, this is about how Tony and Zoe left things when he left Philly (btw did we know he’d worked in Philly before Baltimore?), but this is totally about what happened in PPF, too.

Because the gist of PPF is that Ziva had to find her own way, too. That she needed to heal herself before she could move on from her own trauma, because she’s never been afforded that luxury. And event though it broke his heart, Tony respected that and that is why he got on that plane a year ago. He probably knew it was a mistake as much as she did, but she said she needed to do this, and he had no choice but to respect her choice. But that doesn’t negate the fact that as far as we know, they’ve had no contact in a year, and at a certain point, he has has to read the writing on the wall. And he deserves better than to be strung along. Which is not to say that he is being strung along, but he can’t keep living in this limbo where he puts his life on hold because he holds onto the dubious hope that she’s going to change her mind and come back. He has to let himself move forward, because he owes it to himself to find happiness, which he never will if he keeps waiting for her.

Zoe may have uttered that line, but it could have easily been said by Tony in any hypothetical reunion with Ziva, too.

I’m not ready to move on, and neither is Tony. But sometimes you have to move on regardless of what you want. And Tony does deserve to be happy, and this clearly isn’t it. So maybe it’s time to try a different reality. He’s a work in progress, after all. 

Help this show has broken me.