#also they will be animated! I can only do super basic bobbing on the spot animations but they will at least Be Moving

[missholoska]

I spent like 3 months knowing exactly what I was gonna draw for undertale's 9th anniversary but now that it's mere days away suddenly my brain goes "but what if... little guys"

[yolo1650]

Animal Crossing One Shot- Ten Star Rating (BobxReader)

Summary: Getting that perfect island turns out to be a lot harder than it looks.

Word Count: 1498

Warnings: No warnings here, it’s basically rated G, just two cute people, being cute together

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Feeling nothing but a heavy sense of defeat, you closed the doors of the Resident Service building behind you. With the sun still high in the sky, there was still many hours of daylight left, precious hours that could be spend planting, refurnishing, terra-forming.  

But all you could feel was the aching in your legs, clearly overworked by all the running around you did this morning. They couldn’t help but buckle beneath you. Giving in, you sat down at the center of the plaza, face in your palms, as you remembered Isabelle's advice.  

"Let's get more greenery on this island by planting fruit and saplings. When it comes to tree varieties, we should really branch out!"

Your jaw clenched. While Isabelle's corny joke came from a kind-hearted place, it did nothing to cheer you up from your predicament.  

Last time it was too many trees, and too little flowers. Now that I've spent the whole morning planting more flowers, you're telling me there's not enough trees?

At this rate, you many never get your island to a five star rating.  

Then, you heard someone yelling, their voice getting louder as they got closer to you.  

"Heeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!"

You felt Bob's shadow cast over you, giving you momentary relief from the afternoon sun.  

"Hey Bob."

His shadow moved, and with it, his footsteps as its pattering sounds circled around you. Even with your eyes covered, you could still vividly see Bob's wide, carefree smile, and his arms outstretched like an airplane.  

"The island looks great today! On my way here I stopped like, five times to smell all of the pretty flowers! Or was it more like three times? I kind of stopped counting after two, pthhpth."

Taking your face out of your hands, you leaned your cheek against one of your palms and did nothing to mask your exhaustion and disappointment.  

"Still not good enough to get a good island rating though."

Bob stilled. Taking quick glances between you and the Resident Service building, he began to understand.  

"Oh."

After taking a seat next to you, you look over to his uncharacteristically somber face.  

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Great now you messed up his groove. One of the happiest, most carefree villager is sulking because of you. Maybe it was better if you just got up and left, you should have never left your house in the first place.  

But Bob beat you to it. Standing up with what seems to be renewed energy, he ran back to his house. You didn't have to wait long before hearing your name being shouted in the distance, its volume gradually increasing.  When Bob came back his typical ear-to-ear smile was as well. He was also holding onto a medium sized canvas. With outstretched arms, he presented it exclaiming,

"Here! I gotta lil' something for ya!"

After getting up and dusting off your pants, you took the unexpected gift from his hands. Your eyebrows were raised high in astonishment. Pleased at your reaction, Bob shyly looked away while rubbing the back of his neck.  

"But it's probably nothing compared to what you've done for the island so far."

As you examined the painting you weren't sure how to feel about it at first. Anyone back at your hometown would recognize immediately that this gift was clearly not your style. While you preferred romantic style oil paintings, the piece before you had to be best described as the work of a child. Abstract and sloppy, no distinct line art, and distinct brush strokes. That last part was the most peculiar to you. Did he use cotton balls to paint this?

You took a step back and looked at the piece again as a whole. Once you did, you felt a smile creep up on your face. This painting was clearly made with you in mind, as not only were you the subject, but you were surrounded by all of the things you loved on this island. The foreground was adorned with your favorite flowers, the background was the island's serene coast, and you were wearing your favorite outfit.

The colors were the most impressive, in your opinion. They were so spot on that just looking at it alone made you feel like you were right there, hearing the crashing waves. He even got your eye color at just the right shade, and remembered to add your dimples to your smile.  

You found it difficult to contain your excitement.  

"Wow! Bob, this is amazing! And you painted it? I didn't know you liked to paint!"

"Hmmm? Oh yeah, I like to do all sorts of drawing." Lost in thought, he started leaning back and forth between the balls of his feet and his heels. "But I especially looooooove finger painting! It's like ya got super powers 'cause everything you touch changes color!"

You chuckled. Paw prints, that explained the strange brush strokes.  

"How'd you know my favorite spot on the island was the beach?" You asked.

Bob simply shrugged as he replied, "You're just there so often, I sorta figured it was like, your natural habitat or something, pthhpth."

"What about my clothes?"

He looked away briefly before clearing his throat to answer. "I, uh, always thought you looked the prettiest when you wore those." He couldn't help but blush a little. "Just 'cause you always smiled more when you wore those."  

You then felt your own face heat up.  

"A-and what about the flowers? How'd you know these were my favorite?"

"Oh, those? You were always buying those from Lief every time he comes over." His eyes glanced up in thought as he continued.  

"At first I was thinking what made these flowers so special? You already had so many different flowers in your own garden. So then I bought a pot of my own, and boy do they smell deeelicious! They reminded me so much of you so of course I had to put it here, pthhpth!"

You tried to give a polite smile to match Bob's beaming face. But you weren't too sure how to take that compliment, if it even was one. Was he saying you were like a snack? Does he snack on flowers?

You decided not to dwell on it too much.  

Now when you looked back at the painting, it was as if it completely transformed before your eyes during the short length of your conversation with Bob. What was once sloppy, thick brush strokes were now intentional, and authentic. What was once meaningless shapes of abstraction have now turned into a thoughtful presentation of who you were in the mind of Bob.  

It was all so touching, you might have started tearing up a little.  

You tightly wrapped your arms around Bob.  

"Thank you. You have no idea how much I needed this right now."

He eagerly hugged you back.  

"Like I said, it's nothing." His lips curled into a bashful smile.  

Releasing each other from your embrace, you were surprised to see that somber expression return to his face. His brows furrowed in frustration.  

"I don't know who's judging these islands, but if I were them, I'd give you a ten star rating just because you worked so hard on it!"

You didn't have the heart to tell him that island ratings only went up to five.  

Bob continued on. Pride and determination lighting his eyes as he placed his paws on his hips.  

"I might even throw in a prize, like a day off, or a life-time supply of brownies!" A nervous chuckle bubbled out of him as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, actually, that last part might be more of a prize for me than for you."

Now that he mentions it, you really do deserve a day-off, heck, maybe even a week-off. You put so much work into this island, it was only natural that you needed a break to regain your strength. Then, you'll be sure to get that five star rating!

You grabbed Bob's paw and headed towards the direction to your house.  

"It's been a while since we hanged out, huh? Well then let's go to my place for lunch," you said.  

"Really?!" Now it was Bob's turn to look surprised. Free food always got him excited.  

"Yeah!" You smiled. "Think of it as thanks for the painting."

"Sounds great!" Bob had already skipped on ahead of you, his face radiant. "Race ya!"

"Wait, Bob! My legs are still killing me from this morning, can you-"

Too late. With arms outstretched, Bob zig-zagged his way towards your house, already leagues ahead of you. For a guy who was always hungry, he sure did have boundless amounts of energy.  

You shook your head to yourself and smiled. Taking one last look at your painting before trudging along, you were already thinking of how to best frame it. You loved how brilliant it looked in the natural light. A nice spot by the window would be perfect.  

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This was requested by @teagibs I hope you like it! Sorry it took so long :’-)

Please bear in mind that I’m still in school, so if anyone else has made a request, or would like to request something, it might be a while. I will also be doing requests in the order they come in. 

On another note, this was a lot of fun! Bob is one of my favorites, so I hope I did him justice. I currently have another one shot in the works (not a request), and ya’ll better brace yourself, cause it’s gonna be a dooozy...

Let me know what you guys think, constructive criticism is especially welcome here :D

-(･ω･)v

[incorrectlumityquotes]

FULL REVIEWS: “Hooty’s Moving Hassle”

I’ve only seen Howl’s Moving Castle once and I thought it was just okay. The animation was amazing. The story and characters were just...okay. But we’re not here to talk about that today.

A Hooty centric episode? Count me in, hoot hoot. The hype train just keeps on going and I was so glad that I found my new favorite show. AND my niece loved it too, so that’s a huge plus. The only thing that I was sure about this episode going in way back when was that Gus and Willow were going to be in it. Let’s check it out and see if it’s still as good as I remember it, hoot hoot.

“Cards! The paper rectangles that old people think are fun.”

Hot damn, Luz. The episode just started and she’s already out firing shots. But to be fair, she did grow up with smartphones and game consoles being a thing so I doubt she sees the appeal. Do kids even still play with toys anymore? Or do they all just play on tablets now? Probably why Toys R’ Us closed. 

Speaking of things that can only happen in this generation, callbacks and continuity! Eda’s curse is rearing its feathery head and like the irresponsible adult that she is, she’s out of elixir, hoot hoot.

It’s not our full introduction to Owlbert, but at least he gets some screen time where he actually moves and stuff. I totally get where Luz and King are coming from. When a friend discovers they’re really good at a game and they want to play it all they time because they like winning but it’s super annoying and you always lose because it’s not a game you would ever play on your own, hoot hoot. Yeah. Eda is that friend. 

People watching in a fantasy world would actually be a fun little way to do some worldbuilding, but I’m afraid some people would call it lazy. We get a bunch of set-up for the third act and then the spice of life returns, hoot hoot.

“Who hurt my babies?”

Hyper fangirl Luz spots her babies wearing frowny faces thanks to Amity and her little group. Apparently Amity’s forced friend brigade is going to have a moonlight conjuring which is basically just a slumber party. It’s literally exactly like a slumber party. I have proof. Just check out this video and see that slumber parties are just modern witch gatherings. 

Thanks to Luz though, Willow has enough friends to have a moonlight conjuring of her own. Wow, typing out that sentences actually made me feel really sad. Willow is a sweeties and she deserves the world. Okay I feel better, hoot hoot.

Also Penstagram? Really? Like freaking really? I hate Instagram. The feed is never in chronological order, I don’t know what “link in the bio” means and I never have enough pictures to just be on there. I mean, who freaking takes pictures for everything all the time? It’s a madhouse, I tell you. A madhouse, hoot hoot.

Like Owlbert, this is our kinda introduction to Boscha and her crew. It’s not a full introduction, but it’s not like we’re not going to see more of her later. There’s Skara again and Cat. Thank you, Owl House wikia.

Eda’s dealer suggests going to the Night Market to pick up what she needs and shoots down Luz’s moonlight conjuring idea. But Luz isn’t going to let something small like a parent’s permission stop her from helping her friends, hoot hoot. So Luz pulls the laziest plot device in all of fiction and lies. 

Sleeping King in a baby sling and Willow saying “I’m a sneaky sneakster” hoot hoot? This episode is all kinds of cute.

Eda heads to the night market and Luz has her little slumber party. A sad thought just occurred. What if this is also Luz’s first slumber party too? Her mom did say that she didn’t have any friends. I made myself sad again, hoot hoot. 

Luz, ever the good host, tries to accommodate her friends and they get to work on the moonlight conjuring. Luz chanting that she doesn’t know the words made me laugh. Especially because I’d do the same thing. 

Side note, but Gus insisting that Beefy Bob is a figurine is just kinda funny. All I kept thinking about was the difference between action figures, dolls, and figurines. Dolls don’t move but you play with them. Action figures do stuff and you play with them. Figurines don’t move and you don’t play with them, hoot hoot. “A real man never takes accountability” is hilarious and unfortunately true. 

“Light as a feather; stiff as a board. Light as a feather; stiff as a board.”

“Something ridiculous this way comes, hoot hoot.”

And just like that, our heroes conjure the whole house. How? Why? Never mind that shit, here comes Bosha! And the set up from early in the episode, hoot hoot. 

Meanwhile at the night market, Eda meets the recurring villain of the series. I like to call these guys jobber villains.

For those who don’t know, a “jobber” is a pro wrestling term. It’s a guy who is hired to just lose to the big name guys. I use the term “jobber villain” to describe any antagonist who isn’t the main villain who is used frequently to lose to the heroes. Think Team Rocket in Pokémon, Dr Light in Teen Titans, Ludo in Star vs the Forces of Evil, etc, you get the idea.

Tibbles hustles Eda over the Hexes Hold ‘em game and we get a bunch of funny ass jokes that I dare not ruin for you. The two plots cross for just long enough for Luz and co to get busted. 

I have concerns, hoot hoot.

Meanwhile, back in the other failed moonlight conjuring, the moonlight conjuring has failed. The girls do what every young girl would do in that situation and complain on social media. Amity gets a really cool shot that I don’t have and the episode ends with a hint that someone on our main trio is more powerful then they are letting on.

FINAL SCORE: 5 - Loved it.

This episode is funny as hell. That’s the main highlight for me here. There are so many good jokes especially since it’s my type of dialogue humor. 

Lots of character work. The reveal that Willow and Amity used to be friends adds depth to both characters, making the relationship a bit more complex than just bully-victim scenario.

I love it whenever Luz speaks Spanish. As a Hispanic guy myself, I’m really happy about this kind of representation. This plus Marco Diaz. 

We kinda get introductions to several characters who play bigger parts in later episodes. Bosch and Owlbert get soft intros while Tibbles takes the center stage as the episode’s main villain.

I’ve never been to a slumber party but I doubt they’re as fun as this.

.

.

.

I forgot what the next episode is so I don’t have a lead up line for it...hoot.

[their-name-is-morgan]

Hiya!! Glad to see you again :') might I request headcanons/a short fic about going to the aquarium with Bruno please? Thank youuuu!

Hey! Missed you too <3 and of course you can! Writing this was super fun and it turned out... not too long and not too short; I hope you enjoy it!

Day off (Bruno x Reader)

Your day begins with a loud noise followed by a scream coming from downstairs; you sleepily take a glance at the digital clock on your bedside table: it’s currently eight in the morning –almost nine- and your husband, Bruno Bucciarati, is still sound asleep on the other side of your shared bed.

The noise doesn’t stop, but you’re used to it by now. It’s Saturday after all, and that means Narancia’s studying session starts early in the morning. Fugo’s scolding suggests that he must not be in a good mood to study today.

And besides, you were hoping to wake up earlier than usual because today you have something planned for you and your lovely husband: a trip to the aquarium.

Bruno rarely takes a break from work, if we can call it that, so you wanted to take the opportunity to do something fun with him instead of lounging in the enormous Passione mansion from morning to night. Abbacchio will take care of everything while you’re out to pet the dolphins and play with the penguins, right?

Usually Giorno would do it but today he’s too busy to even spend some time with the others, being the Don is not easy, especially at his age.

After a few minutes of contemplation you decide that it’s time to get up and go; you gently shake Bruno’s shoulder until he turns around and your eyes meet with his half lidded blue ones.

“What time is it...?” he asks, still clearly half asleep.

“Well, good morning to you. It’s almost nine.”

He lets out a yawn and shifts into a sitting position, you copy his actions and you share a slow, lazy kiss before finally getting out of bed and rummaging in your wardrobes to pick an outfit for the day.

Bruno wants to wear something elegant but you shake your head in disappointment when he throws the pricey button-down shirt and designer pants on the bed. It’s supposed to be a fun day and you’re probably going to get your clothes all wet during a show, so it’s better to wear comfortable things for once.

He finally settles on a white polo shirt and a pair of jeans while you’re still not sure if you should wear a shirt or a sweater. After you’re both done picking your outfits you open the window to let in some fresh air, quickly make the bed together and walk downstairs to have a light breakfast with the rest of the gang.

“Buongiorno!” you greet everyone once you reach the living room.

“Hey (Y/N), hey Bruno!” Narancia excitedly waves at you from the table before getting smacked on the head with a maths book;

“Don’t get distracted!” Fugo scolds him once again and resumes with his explanation of whatever they’re focusing on today. It sounds like equations.

Abbacchio is sitting on the sofa, he would most likely be listening to music if it wasn’t for the fact that Mista is bothering him with one of his arguments; this time he seems to be wondering why cats and dogs age faster than human beings.

“What do you want for breakfast?” your husband asks you once you’re in the kitchen, away from all the noise.

Meanwhile you set everything on the table – spoons, sugar, different kinds of tea bags- and pour some water in your two mugs.

“I’m having a tea and some butter cookies, I’m going to make some for you too. It’s your day off, just sit down and let me handle everything!”

He lets out a chuckle at how kind you are to him. It’s also pretty funny to watch you prepare your breakfast with a concentrated expression.

“Okay, if you insist.”

“Hey, what are you laughing about?” you ask him turning around.

“Nothing! I wasn’t laughing.” He covers his mouth with his hand and you smile at him;

“Yeah, sure.”

It’s nice to spend some time alone with Bruno. You’re both always running around, going on missions and sometimes you don’t see each other for days, everyone takes their job seriously so unless you’re done with it you don’t hang out that much.

That’s why you’re determined to make the most out of today!

Once you’re both done with your light breakfast you finally walk outside after saying goodbye to everyone, and get in Bruno’s shiny black car, the one he uses for special occasions only, so basically whenever he goes somewhere with you.

The weather is chilly so while you wait for it to warm up you snuggle into your jacket.

“So, what’s the first thing you want to do once we get there?” Bruno asks you after a while. He’s already driving, it won’t take you long to arrive.

“Hmm, how about I tell you when we’re there?”

“It better not be something weird,” he jokingly warns you,  “the last time I visited the aquarium was when I was still a kid, so I don’t know anything about the new activities.”

“It’s not! I swear. I just want it to be a surprise.”

The truth is that you want to try as many things as possible with him: first thing first there’s going to be a dolphin show at around eleven, and you wouldn’t miss it for the world. After that you can’t wait to touch the sharks, stingrays and other sea creatures, and you’re aware of how much Bruno loves animals, so you know he’s going to enjoy it.

You obviously want to see all the fish that they keep there, even if it’s going to take a lot of time since the aquarium is pretty big, and then, at the end of the day, you want to try and take a dive too. In all honesty the thought of it makes you shiver, but it’s going to be exciting with your husband there.

Bruno watches you with the corner of his eye as you smile, thinking to yourself for the whole trip.

 It’s not the busiest day –that would probably be Sunday-, but there are quite a lot of people intending to spend a fun day at the aquarium; you and Bruno hold hands like the sweet couple you are as you enter.

“Wow, this place is really big!” you comment looking around.

The ceiling is very high and as opposed to it you feel extremely small . Bruno smiles at your enthusiasm and gives your hand a gentle squeeze to catch your attention.

“So, what were you planning?”

You turn towards him and return the smile;

“There’s a dolphin show today and it’s probably going to start soon, so we better get there fast.”

“Lead the way, Tesoro.”

You let go of his hand to walk up to a staff member and ask him where the show you booked is supposed to be. After he reassures you that he’s going to walk you there you thank him and tell Bruno to follow the guy. He leads you to an hallway with an open door at the end of it, and you can already spot some people taking their seats.

“We should probably hurry up, everyone’s going to take the best seats if we don’t.” Bruno says, and you pull his hand playfully.

“Race you there?”

He stares at you in disbelief before shaking his head, a warm smile on his face.

“(Y/N), we’re adults.”

“Adults that are going to miss the show if they don’t rush!”

You both quicken your pace and manage to get there in time, luckily there are still some seats left and two of them are close to the pool where the dolphins are going to be swimming. Your husband reminds you that if you sit there you’re going to get splashed by the water, but you don’t really mind since you think it’s part of the experience.

You’re both surprised to find out that one of the Trainers is none other than Jotaro Kujo, if you’re not wrong then he must be one of Giorno’s relatives.

He seems like a man of few words, but you can tell he’s very good with sea animals and that they trust him completely. You watch the dolphins get introduced –there are seven of them in total!- and since you’re so close to them you already get your clothes pretty wet even before they start the actual show.

For the whole time you wish you could take pictures and videos, but apparently you’re not allowed to. Bruno tells you, however, that if there’s still time later you can stop and take a few pictures with the dolphins- that way you can both be in them too.

By the end of it your clothes are dripping with cold water and your hair is not in much better conditions; it was fun but now you feel like you don’t look good at all! Even Bruno is doing his best to get his black bob to look half decent, God forbid his hair doesn’t look perfect.

“It was fun! But I look stupid now.” you complain, standing up from your seat. Bruno stares at you with his eyebrows raised.

“What are you talking about? You’re beautiful as always-“

“If I told you the same thing you wouldn’t believe it.” You interrupt him before he can finish complimenting you.

“Fine, but you’re still beautiful to me.”

You try to hide your blush by turning around and walking towards the pool, where the photographers are.

“Whatever you say, Bruno! I’m going to get some pictures taken, move it if you don’t want to be excluded!”

He gives his hair one last squeeze before running after you.

 You walk back inside with many cute pictures in your hands; one of them portrays you and Bruno sitting on the ground and petting one of the dolphins, in another one you’re holding hands and two dolphins are kissing your cheeks, and so on.

You excitedly look through them all together while you walk to your next destination.

“Can you tell me where we’re going next? I hope I won’t have to get splashed again.” He asks with a grin. You honestly wouldn’t mind it because he looks so handsome with his hair all messy like that, but you push the thought aside for later.

“Maybe you will! We’re going to pet some sea creatures. Maybe they’ll take more pictures of us!”

When you get there you notice there are a lot of kids with their families and other couples, so you put the pictures in your bag and hold hands with Bruno- showing off a bit won’t hurt, right? Especially with a husband as kind and beautiful as yours.

One of the staff members starts explaining some facts about the animals you’re going to be interacting with and everyone listens carefully, excited to finally play a bit with them.

When it’s your turn to do it you hope that the photographers are doing their job right, because the cheerful expression on Bruno’s face is absolutely stunning and you wish you could capture it with your phone instead.

Little do you know that he thinks the same thing when he glances at you.

“That one looks like you!” you point at one of the spotted sharks in its pool; it’s white with black spots.

“Let me guess, because it reminds you of my suit?”

“That was hard to guess, wasn’t it?”

“Very hard indeed.” He lets out one of his irresistible laughs.

He may tease you and call you immature sometimes, but he immediately starts looking for other sea creatures that remind him of you and the other members of the gang. You’re certainly not going to tell Abbacchio that you compared him to a jellyfish.

When you’ve petted all the creatures you could pet and taken a few pictures with them, you and Bruno decide that it’s time to get something to eat. You find out that there’s a whole restaurant in the aquarium and settle for a quick romantic lunch there.

You once again get lucky and manage to sit at a table close to a big, bright tank full of small and bigger fish.

“Are you having fun?” you ask Bruno once you’re done ordering your food. The smile he gives you would be enough of an answer, you think.

“Of course I am, coming here was a great idea. Maybe we should come back with the others too one day?” he voices his thoughts and you chuckle at how much he cares about the other gang members. You do too, after all they’re like your family.

“Oh, I’m sure Giorno would love to visit this aquarium! Maybe for his birthday next year?” you suggest.

“That’s a great idea! Leone would get mad at all the splashing though.”

“Because it would ruin his makeup?”

“Exactly!” you both laugh at the thought of Abbacchio complaining because he’d have to come without his adored lipstick and mascara on.

“Anyway... I’m glad you’re having fun, Bruno. You rarely get a day off so I wanted to make it special.”

He doesn’t blush that often but whenever you tell him those kind of things his heart starts to beat faster.

“I’m glad I’m spending it with you, amore mio. You always know what to do to make me happy.”

 Your food arrives a bit later and you’re not surprised when you discover it tastes amazing. This is a really great place apparently, no matter what you’re doing- be it playing with the fish or eating traditional Italian food.

It’s already afternoon and you’re both feeling pretty lazy, so the dive will have to wait; you’re probably going to do it when everyone will be there, Mista and Narancia are going to have a blast.

You walk hand in hand through every hallway and admire the beautiful creatures swimming around you. The calming atmosphere and the blue lights make the experience even more magical for you and your husband, who you guess still finds your comment about him looking like a shark funny because now he’s pointing at every fish that vaguely reminds him of you.

Near the late afternoon you start to get a bit tired so you decide to retreat home. Everyone else is starting to leave as well so it starts to become quieter and quieter around you, it almost makes you fall asleep while you’re still walking.

During the day it turned out not to be that cold but the temperature must’ve dropped while you were inside, because as you step outside of the huge building you feel like you’re about to freeze.

“The weather keeps changing, it’s so annoying.” You complain as you get into Bruno’s car.

“Bring something warmer next time, I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He advises.

“You say that, but you’re still wearing clothes that are lighter than mine.”

“Do you want me to turn on some music?” he tries to change the subject, but you know better than to give up.

“Yeah! What about a song that talks about how you need to take care of yourself too?”

He leans back into his seat and sighs. It’s true, he always puts others first and rarely cares about himself, but you’re always there to remind him that he needs to stop being this selfless.

“You win! I’ll think about it next time.”

“Good.”

You gently cup his face with your hands and give him a kiss, before you let him turn on the car and choose a song that talks about love.

[justxaxstrayxkid]

Ranking every outfit Nora has worn

I've rated her human names and I've ranked her vessel names. Now it is time to rank all of her outfits 10 to 1. Why am I doing this? Because I'm a sucker for pretty clothes and babygirl is a fashion icon. These are just my opinions obviously so don't take them seriously. Though I am being dead serious when I say Mizuchi invented the fashion industry. What I want people to take away from this post is that we, as a society, need to respect Mizuchi's drip. No pun intended hehe

10. Childhood Kimono

No sense calling it the childhood kimono when she's always gonna be a child but idk what else to call this. I put this fit last because it's quite basic. There's not much to talk about here. I don't have any particular feelings towards it either. I do think the pink obi is cute. Mainly cuz pink is my favorite color. Also is it just me or does the kimono look way too big on her?

9. Childhood Kimono Enhanced ver.

This is the same exact fit as the last one and it only appeared in the one-shot manga bout Rabo and Yato but I want to rank it separately because of her accessory. She's just too cute with that little bow in her hair! Don't mind me fangirling over that bow like it's a national treasure. The sandals are nice new touch too.

8. Pink Kimono

This one is only shown in anime during the flashback scene where Yato massacred the ma clan. I love this kimono because it's in my favorite shade of pink. There isn't much to say about it though. It's pretty basic so I put in this spot

7. Volume 8 Kimono

This fit appeared on the cover of volume 8 of the manga. I have to admit, this fit is kinda crazy. Like the grape (??) socks, the random checkerboard pattern, the green hiyoku, the flower pattern, the flower in her hair. It all seems very random. But I actually think it goes together well! A hot mess can sometimes turn out beautiful. I like the way she looks with a flower in her hair. Mizuchi with hair accessories equals world domination. And why tf does that ayakashi doggie have a paper crane in its mouth? That's more random than the outfit lmao.

6. Fruit bowl Kimono

This one only appeared in a colored page of the manga. Can't remember what chapter or volume it was in exactly but I think it was in beginning. This kimono is very beautiful. The pattern on it reminds me of fruit bowls lol. Babygirl rlly has the best fashion sense ever. You can't change my mind on that. And she's wearing a hair accessory here! Rejoice!

5. Boysenberry Kimono

I think the color is boysenberry but I’m not sure. My eyesight isn’t that good. So this fit is from a Kami To Enishi card. The game is discontinued but I just couldn’t not add this fit in. It’s so pretty! The color of the kimono matches her eyes which is my favorite aspect of the outfit. I think the pattern on it is supposed to be temari balls. Or maybe it's supposed to be beach balls. Of course we can’t forget to mention the bow! Tbh I don’t think it matches with the rest of the fit. But hey, it matches better than the whole volume 8 ensemble. I still like the bow and I’m glad she’s wearing it!

4. Capybara Fit

First of all, how the heck do you spell capybara? I’ve seen it spelled in 5 different ways. Second of all, I LOVE THIS FIT MORE THAN MY FUTURE CHILDREN! Seriously it’s so cute! She rocked the whole world when she put this on. I screeched when I first read the chapter this was in. That's the sheer power of this outfit.

3. Yurei Fit

Next is babygirl's classic outfit, the yurei outfit! This fit is so iconic I had to put it in the top three. I have a lot to say about it. In a way, this fit is part of the reason why I got into Noragami. Like I'm an avid horror fan and I especially love any media that has to do with yurei. Yurei are Japanese ghosts for those of you who don't know. I saw a gif of Mizuchi here on tumblr and her character design caught my eye. I thought Noragami was going to be in the horror genre because of this fit. If she wasn't wearing this fit, I probably wouldn't have become interested in Noragami at all. Thank you to the yurei fit for getting me into this amazing series. I love her personal touches to it. Like the way she wears her hitaikakushi slanted, her big obi, her gauntlets, and her hiyoku. Her hiyoku had this lil flower pattern on it in the first few chapters. That was super adorable. It's a shame she never wears it again. Yurei are usually depicted just wearing a simple white kimono and with long hair. But babygirl has her own personal touches and she has a bob cut. She is rlly out here being a trendsetter for dead people in Japan. A round of applause for this fit.

2. Flower print Kimono

Excuse the poor quality pic. You've probably figured out by now that I have a thing for flower patterns lol. That's exactly the reason why this is my second favorite outfit of hers. It's one of her more simple fits. But I think it's to die for! Pun fully intended ;) If I remember correctly, in the past, she and baby Yato stole this from someone they killed. Sorry but I find that hilarious. R.i.p to whoever this kimono belonged to. You may have been killed but you didn't die in vain because a rlly cute girl has your kimono now. I wonder if babygirl would ever pull this out of her closet and wear it again. She may not even have it anymore since the flashbacks where she wore this were like centuries before Noragami takes place. This kimono might've already become tasty grub for moths :(

1. School uniform Fit

Of course, the school uniform is first. This fit literally invented the fashion industry! No one can tell me otherwise. Words can't fathom how cute babygirl looks in this. As a school girl who's been to multiple schools with uniforms, I think I'm qualified to say that Mizuchi looks better than anyone else in a school uniform. It's not just how she looks either but also the fact that Hiyori gave it to her. That really warms my heart. This fit did so much for the world. Like I've said before, it will go down in history as one of the best things to happen in fiction.

[bratkook]

clairvoyant. (m) part eight.

masterlist

pairing: jungkook x reader , taehyung x reader

word count: 17.8k+

warnings: oral (m receiving), face fucking, clothed sex, choking, degradation, orgasm denial, cum facial, tae spits in your mouth, also jungkooks kind of a major dumbass and ya’ll gonna hate me ok goodbye, also some non sexy slut shaming :/

author’s note : nows a good time to mention that the song that made me start this story is clairvoyant by the story so far, just so ya’ll know lol also this is the last super long chapter...i think

Jungkook feels the headache before hes even fully awake, its a dull thud against his temple but its enough to get him to groan in discomfort. He cracks one of his eyes open slowly, confusion clouding his brain when a tangle of hair is the first thing he sees in front of him and he almost throws himself back, his half asleep mind assuming its some animal until he remembers its you.

His left hand comes up to rub at his face, his fingers pulling back and seeing the remnants of his halloween makeup staining the tips of them and thats when the memories of last night come rushing back to him. Flashes of you moaning underneath him going through his head and he feels his temple pulse at the thought. His gaze follows the mess of hair until it settles on your face, smushed against your pillow with the cutest pout on your lips and he smiles at the sight.

His fingers twitch, wanting to push back the hair that covered part of your face but he stops himself. His hand is caught in the air when you take a deep inhale, your lips puckering out as you start to wake up and his mind begins to panic.

It was the next morning, what did that mean exactly? Well fuck all if Jungkook knew, he’d never had casual sex with anyone let alone a friend. So when you come to and peek over to look at him with a small smile all he can do is wave his hand like an idiot.

You’re not fully awake yet, your eyes still burn from sleep and it feels like your head is stuck in a fishbowl, the small traces of a hangover starting to rise to the surface. As you raise a hand up to clutch at your temple your comforter shifts from its spot around your chest, the material slipping down until your boobs are exposed.

Your mind is too focused on the throbbing in your skull to realize your nipples are exposed to the chilly air in your room but Jungkook notices, his eyes zeroed in on them and he doesn’t know if he should look away out of respect or not.

“I think I could still be drunk.” You rasp out, your hand falling from the side of your head and landing limp in front of you. You make no moves to cover yourself up, Jungkook had already seen you in all your glory last night and you were absolutely shameless regardless. You sat up a little straighter and raised both arms up to stretch your sore muscles, the action jutting your chest out further and Jungkook wanted to cry. The simple action was enough to get his dick to twitch, a small sign of life that he was determined to ignore because he would not pop a boner at the sight of a nipple.

When you finally turned to actually look at him he realizes he actually hasn’t said a word, “Oh, I’m definitely not drunk. My heads killing me.”

You smile at that, taking in his beyond messy bed head and the way his cute lips look slightly chapped from the cold of last night. He watches as your eyes scan his face, trailing down his neck and seeing the faint petals of purple you left on his skin that he has yet to notice, going further down and seeing his sculpted abs that still looked glorious even as he was hunched over. Your comforter covered him from the hips down but you knew he was just as naked as you were and it excites you but you spare him, showing him some mercy and allowing the both of you to properly wake up.

His thighs tense up when you shift in bed, your palm resting on them as you navigate around him to get out of bed. Even though he’s trying his best not to his eyes are glued to your body, watching as your breasts jiggled when you hopped out of bed, the way your ass jutted out as you rummaged through your drawers and once you got clothes on he cant help but notice how perfectly the tiny sleeping shorts hug the curve of your hips until the hoodie you throw on covers them entirely.

He can hear you mumbling something out but his eyes are still stuck on your legs, remembering how soft your skin felt as his fingers clutched onto you. It’s not until he feels a cold wipe smack him in the chest that he looks up at you, seeing you standing at your desk with your hand on your hip and an incredulous look on your face.

“Earth to Jungkook.” You wave your other hand around in the air, a makeup remover flailing around in your grasp as you do so.

He peels off the cold wipe with a grimace, “Sorry.”

You just laugh, going back to wiping your face from last nights debauchery and he starts to do the same. “Do you want advil or anything for the headache?” That must be what you were asking him while he was in a trance.

“Please, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to hangovers.” He crumples up the now dirty makeup wipe and sees the trashcan is nowhere near him and his clothes are currently on the floor beside your roommates bed. He’d have to get up and reveal his naked ass self to you in order to toss the wipe.

He gulps as he looks down at his covered thighs, not sure why he feels so much uncertainty. You basically fawned over his appearance last night, sure you were drunk but the way you kissed his thighs and cock made it very clear you liked what you saw.

In a burst of confidence Jungkook stands up, yanking the sheets off himself with a force that startles you for a moment as you’re untwisting the medicine bottle. You see him stand up from the bed and your eyes immediately dart to his dick because you’re only human. The taut muscles and vline that lead to it are still as beautiful as you remember and even though he’s soft it’s admittedly still one of the nicest dicks you’ve seen.

His thighs bulge out as he steps towards you, his movements coming off as casual which differs greatly from the small scream he currently hears in his head. Once he tosses the wipe away he spares a glance at you and sees you’re caught in the same trance he was in earlier.

A statement he made last night stuck with you, Jeon Jungkook has never had a blow job before. And unless drunk you conjured up fake memories, he said he wanted one next time. Was today next time, not technically, but it could be.

You have the two pills in your hand but you say nothing because holy fuck if you didn’t want to suck his dick and worship his thighs before you sure as hell do now.

You don’t even realize when Jungkook plucks the pills out of your grasp and swallows them and he’s starting to get a little self conscious at your attention until you speak up. “Hey Jungkook?”

“Yeah?” He responds, taking a small step back so he can try to reach his briefs and cover himself up because he was once again the only one naked now.

You take a step towards him, setting the bottle back down as you look up to meet his gaze. “Can I do something?”

Your hands are fidgeting in front of you as you take yet another step towards him because you really want to reach out and touch him. “Anything.” He confesses, standing his ground and seeing the smile spread across your face.

Anything. Did he mean that?

“I really wanna suck your dick,” his mouth dries up at that, not expecting that to be what you say at all, “will you let me?” His head is nodding before he can even properly register the question.

Hell if you wanted to suck his dick he wasn’t going to say no. He’s pretty sure you could do literally whatever you wanted to him and he wouldn’t protest. Although he knows he should probably save himself from further confusion and ask you about last night before the two of you go at it again, hearing you confess to wanting to pleasure him invades his thoughts.

So when you wrap your arms around his neck and bring him in for a kiss he doesn’t hesitate to kiss back, your lips taste like the minty chapstick you just swiped on and even though his lips are a little cracked you still smile against them. Gently you start to lead him backwards towards your bed, your tongue slowly licking its way into his mouth and when he lets out a small groan at the feeling of it you can only kiss him harder.

Jungkooks hands have slipped underneath your hoodie, his fingers cautiously tracing up and down your waist, the feeling making you sigh into his mouth as goosebumps rise up on your flesh. When his hands get bolder and dance their way up your torso, his thumbs finding your nipples and giving them soft flicks you moan out, your teeth coming down to tug his bottom lip.

You feel his dick harden at that, the length of it pressing against your thigh, every groan and whimper you get out of him the harder he gets until he’s fully erect. You both pull back, Jungkooks half lidded eyes looking at you and seeing the desire in your own as you look down and see his throbbing cock.

It bobs up slightly as he catches his breath, the tip of it leaking precum, looking exactly like the meal you want to devour. Your hands fall from their place around his neck, coming down to touch his chest as you look back up at him, “Do you want to stand?” Deep down you hoped he did, it’d make it easier from him to thrust into your mouth standing up but you weren’t trying to push it.

Jungkook stands there for a moment, his mind playing out what would be best until he decides that standing would be and when he sees the way your eyes light up he knows he picked right.

You give him another smile that helps make him feel at ease, your lips coming back to kiss him and he falls into it easily. He follows the rhythm, feeling one hand trail from his chest down to his hips until its wrapping around his length, your fingers starting a gentle tug that matches your kisses.

He sighs into your mouth, his body relaxing into your touch as your hand slides up to his tip, your fingers gathering up as much of his precum as you could to help the glide. When your hands repeat the motion a third time, your thumb slightly dipping into his slit he bows forward, his mouth detaching from yours to gasp lightly.

“Tell me what feels good okay?” You mumble out, your lips pecking his jaw and neck. His jaw is still slack as you continue to jerk his cock while you make your way down his body, landing snuggly on your knees in front of him.

Your left hand stays wrapped around his base as you lean forward and give his tip a soft kiss, licking the small traces of precum on your lips and he groans at the visual. Jungkook isn’t sure he’s gonna last long at all from this but he can’t find it in himself to care. You were kneeling in front of him looking like the poster child of innocence with an oversized hoodie and messy hair, a smile on your face as you gave his cock an experimental lick, if he was gonna cum in a minute he wanted to remember this visual forever.

You continue to softly lick and kiss his length, easing him into the feeling and slightly enjoying the teasing but you’d never tell him that. When you finally pop the tip of him in your mouth he curses above you, your lips wrapping around him and suckling on his engorged tip, licking up the beads of precum that leak out of him at the action.

“You’re not telling me what feels good Kookie.” You scold him, pulling him out of your mouth to look up at him.

His hand is raking through his hair as he looks down at you, your tongue tracing the vein on the underside of his cock, from base to tip until your slipping him back in your mouth. Swallowing him deeper than before, hallowing out your cheeks as you pull back.

“Oh fuck,” he breathes out, his hand coming down to softly pull back the hair thats falling around your face, “t–that feels good Y/N.”

You hum at the praise, happy to hear him being vocal. His fingers are gently rubbing your scalp, raking back the fallen strands as you suck his dick and its cute.

Jungkooks hands freeze in your hair when he feels the tip of his dick nudge your throat, the muscles spasming slightly at the intrusion and he groans, the fingers that were gently massaging you now clutch your strands tightly when you swallow around him.

He can’t believe he’s never experienced this before, the slippery warmth wrapping around him, the slurping sounds you emit every time you pull back, the gentle kitten licks you ghost around his length, its all too much for him to focus on. His eyes are screwed shut as he tries to reel it all in, wanting to savor this moment before it was gone.

You pull back with a pop, grinning at the sight of his dick shining with your saliva, your hands wrapping around him, twisting your way to the top before gliding back down smoothly. Jungkook cracks his eyes open at the change in feeling, attempting to give you a shy smile when he sees you looking up at him, your lips coated in a sheen of your spit, but when you start to trail kisses down his base until your lips latch on to his balls and gently suck he feels himself tense up as a moan leaves him.

“Holy shit.” He whispers, his teeth coming down to bite his bottom lip, keeping eye contact with you while the sound of your hands jerking him fill the room.

“You like that?” You ask, attaching your lips back to give them another suck, your tongue swirling around them. A small smirk is on your face when you pull back again, seeing him nodding his head at your question.

“Yeah,” he takes a shaky inhale of breath, “want your lips around my cock more though.”

That takes you off guard, not expecting him to say that of all things, but if he wants to feel you choking on his dick then thats what he’ll get. His lips quirk up into a smile when he sees you laugh, resting back onto your thighs with your hands still around his cock, your eyes crinkling as you shake your head.

“Whatever you want Kookie.” Your left hand goes to clasp his thigh as you bring him back into your mouth, the weight of his cock resting on your tongue as you sink back down. Jungkooks head drops back at the sensation, his stomach tightening when you resume bobbing on his length.

He can feel the small sense of desperation creeping up on him, his mind starting to get hazy as the pleasure blurred together and thats when he gives his first thrust into your mouth. It was accidental, the intrusion catching you by surprise and making you choke around his length. He whips his head back down to make sure you’re okay but when hum around him, your hands on his thigh rubbing soft circles he gives another experimental thrust.

Jungkook groans when he sees your body relax, your jaw easing up as you drop the hand that was around the base of his cock, eager to let him fuck your mouth. He starts slow, shallowly pulling out inch by inch and gliding back in smoothly, his hand going back to wrap around your hair to help him control his thrusts.

“Is this okay?” His voice is strained as he tries to keep himself from abusing your mouth. You refuse to pull back to give him an answer, instead the hand on his thigh trails up to his hip, urging him to go as fast as he wanted, a muffled out hum of approval vibrating around his dick and its good enough for him.

The grip in your hair tightens up as he lets himself lose control, his hips rearing back before thrusting forward. He was enjoying the wet sounds of you gagging on his length, the look on your face as you tried your best to take it spurred him on. Your eyebrows furrowed together as your eyes watered up, he would think you weren’t enjoying yourself too if it weren’t for the moans you’d let out in unison with his.

“Fuck nngh,” he grunts out when he notices your legs are spread apart with your hand in between them as you rub yourself over your shorts, “you’re gonna–shit–ruin me.”

He’s getting more vocal now, not being able to hold back his whines and moans as he nears his release. Desperation suits him, his face looking utterly fucked out thanks to you. You feel his thighs tense up under your grasp, his thrusts becoming sloppier until he’s cumming with the breathiest moan you’ve ever heard. The hand on your head pushes you forward until your nose is pressed against his abs, his head thrown back in pleasure.

You feel his hot cum fill your mouth as he thrusts a few more times and you try your best to swallow it all while he’s still in your mouth. He sighs deeply when he pulls out, a string of cum and saliva spreading between his cock and your mouth and he knows he’ll never get over that sight. More so when he realized you’re still trying to get yourself off in front of him, your face screwing up in pleasure when you feel yourself nearing the edge.

You lean forward, letting your head rest on his hip as you rock into your hand, small moans leaving your mouth and Jungkook swears he could cum again from seeing you like this. Your breath fans out and he shivers when he feels it hit his skin, your left hand clutching onto his thigh so hard he feels your nails dig into his skin but he can only stare at you with his jaw slacked. Hearing your moan raise in pitch until you’re cumming too, your hips stuttering and your lips dragging down his hips as you come down.

Jungkook rubs your head soothingly as you slump onto the ground, still leaning against his body while your limbs feel warm and tingly.

“I bet this is the best start to any day you’ve ever had.” Your head lifts off of him and you’re staring at him with the biggest smile as if you hadn’t just choked on his dick and successfully ruined him for anyone else.

He laughs, continuing to rake his fingers through your hair but his stomach twists when reality sinks in for him. You weren’t his girlfriend, or his fuck buddy, this wasn’t going to become a thing you two would do. He knew from the very start that you didn’t want a relationship, you were helping him learn the ropes for casual sex for crying out loud. But Jungkook can’t control his feelings, as much as he tried to stop himself from having a crush on you he’s scared it was too late.

That stupid seed had been planted, the roots burrowed too deep into his chest for him to ignore it, and seeing you smiley and giddy in front of him just makes him want to water and nurture it instead of ripping it out.

“I think my hangovers gone.” He mumbles out, his hands accepting the clothes you hand him.

You laugh loudly at that, going back to your own drawers to once again change since your underwear and shorts were ruined. “Really? Is that the cure then?”

He shimmies into his briefs, staring at the costume he wore last night and dreading putting it back on. Something about wearing a halloween costume in the daytime on the first day of November felt wrong.

“Definitely.” He said wholeheartedly, a wide grin spreading on his face as he turned to see you rubbing your face from any traces of cum that leaked out of your mouth.

“You think its just an orgasm that cures it or does it have to be a blowjob?”

He pauses as he gets his pants up his legs, thinking the question over, “No, has to be a blowjob.”

That just makes you laugh harder, turning back to face him and seeing him in the process of zipping up his tracksuit top, looking like a very disheveled version of last night. His hands pat the pockets of his pants, fishing out his phone and seeing the influx of texts his friends had sent him.

He was actually supposed to hang out with them last night, he was only meant to go to Taemin’s party for a few hours before meeting up with his friends at another party but obviously that never happened.

He opens up the group chat they have and see that last text came from Mingyu at 2:37am, simply saying I swear to god Jungkook you better be dead in a ditch or arrested.

He cringes as he scrolls up through the thread of messages, all of his friends calling him out for being a flake and even a group photo of them all flipping him off.

His eyes glance at the top of the screen to see its currently 10:44am, not too late in the morning so hopefully he could save his ass from being chewed out by then if he explains himself now. You watch him stare at his phone in concentration, his eyes flying across his screen as he typed out a response.

Jungkook 10:44am : I have a good explanation.

It was only a few seconds before his phone vibrated from the onslaught of messages.

Eunwoo 10:45am : oh look whos NOT dead

Mingyu 10:45am : the fucking audacity

Bambam 10:45am : well lets hear it then

Mingyu 10:45am : wait lemme guess

Mingyu 10:45am : you got drunk and rubbed one out in the shower thinking of Y/N again?

Eunwoo 10:45am : oh shit LOL

He just blinks at his phone before locking it entirely, the fucking nerve of Mingyu bringing up something he told him in confidence. He wasn’t gonna open that can of worms and have a conversation about you while you stood a few feet in front of him.

“Everything okay?”

His eyes shift up to look at you, stuffing his phone back into his pocket and nodding at you. “Yeah, friends just thought I died or something.”

“Oh,” you laugh for a second before your eyes widen again, “oh!” You search your room for your phone, spotting it on the floor besides your leotard from last night. When you unlock it you’re met with the same visual Jungkook had, influx of messages from your friends this morning worried about your safety, asking you if you had seen Jungkook with the final text coming from Park Jimin calling you a dirty whore with a stupid emoji tacked to the end of it.

“Same here.”

And thats when a weird silence settles between you two, both of you stood in front of the other and Jungkook doesn’t know what the fuck to say. His mind wants to ask you about last night and this morning but he doesn’t want to say something he shouldn’t, assume anything he shouldn’t.

His phone vibrates once again and he reluctantly pulls it out, his lips pressing together when he sees its Taehyung texting him. A simple question asking him where he’s at, Jungkook doesn’t know why that fills him with guilt again, he knows you’re free to do what you want and so is he but he still feels bad.

So when you ask him if he wants to join you for breakfast, a hopeful gleam in your eyes because you’re wanting to continue spending time with him and know he probably wants to talk about last night, he does the dumbest thing he could do. He turns you down, his throat tightening up as he does so, his eyes not missing the look of hurt that flashes across your face so briefly.

“Sorry, my friends want to get together to eat right now too.” He lies through his teeth, scrambling for an excuse because he doesn’t want you to think he’s turning you down because of you.

“Oh, okay that’s fine.” Your smile has dimmed down, no longer reaching your eyes as you step back slightly. You start to tidy up your room, stepping around him to fix your bed up and gather your clothes off the floor and Jungkook feels like a dick, especially when he can see you’re trying your best not to look him in the face as you cleaned up.

He’s about to speak up again to try to make things okay but you beat him to it, “I’ll see you around then?” You’re stood near the door now, your arms crossed over your chest with your lips pressed together. An open invitation for him to get out.

Jungkook nods softly, his eyes trying to tell you everything he’s too much of a pussy to say but unfortunately he’s not telepathic so he just gives you a small sound of confirmation, attempting to give you a hug before he steps out but you barely return it.

He doesn’t miss the slam of the door behind him and he can’t stop but think that this is the second time he’s had a door slammed on him in the span of a few weeks. Way to go Jungkook.

You force yourself not to feel a certain way once he’s gone, your mind trying to be rational of the situation. Jungkook was shy, inexperienced and has never been in a situation like this. Had you been a one night stand from a club then you two parting ways the morning after like this would be the norm, expected, not something you’d dwell on.

But Jungkook was your friend, someone you’ve gotten closer to these past few weeks so you were hoping he wouldn’t give you a half assed excuse to not getting breakfast together. It kinda made you feel a little used.

If you hadn’t let Yoongi and Jimin’s words get to you maybe you wouldn’t have been expecting Jungkook to admit to anything regarding feelings, hell a simple this was nice, thanks, would have sufficed. Thats why you invited him out, not wanting to talk to him about this in the middle of your bedroom after giving him another orgasm, but that was fine.

You reach for your phone again, ignoring everyones messages until you reach Jimin’s, responding to his text with an invitation for breakfast.

He was never one to turn down food so thats how you found yourself snuggled into a booth in a restaurant by his apartment, a big plate full of eggs, hashbrowns and pancakes in front of you.

“So how long are you expecting me to pretend like I don’t know you fucked Jungkook last night.” Jimin asks, his fork stabbing into some of his own eggs casually, popping them into his mouth with a smirk when his eyes meet yours across the table.

You blank, mid chew as you stare at him, “What do you mean?”

Jimin rolls his eyes, squeezing an unhealthy amount of ketchup onto his hash browns, “C’mon, you two totally left together last night and now you’re acting hella weird so I’m assuming something happened.”

He watches you push your eggs around the plate, your tongue prodding your cheek out in thought. Him and Taehyung had been the only ones aware that you and Jungkook had disappeared, the rest of your group being way too inebriated to even notice until this morning. Taehyung had mentioned Jungkook having other plans after the party but Jimin wasn’t stupid, he knew you two had snuck out together and with the nervous way you’re currently behaving he knows the morning after didn’t go as expected.

“Who knows?”

An odd look is thrown your way, “The fuck? Why does that matter?”

“It doesn’t!” You retort, clearing your throat slightly when you realize your volume. Jimin grins at your outburst, his eyes squinting when he sees you nervously tuck your hair behind your ear, “It doesn’t matter, it’s just I don’t want to hear it from anyone.”

He hums softly, resting his chin on his hand as his elbow sits on the table, “Anyone as in Taehyung?”

You drop your fork onto the plate, you’re not going to be able to eat your food until this conversation passes. “Not just Taehyung, Yoongi too.”

Jimin takes a sip of his coffee, clearly enjoying you being in the hot seat as he teases you. “Trouble in paradise?”

Taehyung had been very vocal while hammered last night, rambling on and on about how he was going to miss you, thanks to the way you had treated him as well as the subtle way Yoongi and even Hoseok had hinted at him that this wouldn’t last forever.

If Jimin didn’t know you he would assume Taehyung was mourning the loss of a friend who died or moved far away but no, this was Taehyung, he was mourning the loss of potentially no longer being able to fuck you.

Jimin had just pat his back and tipped his cup up higher to continue to drink to get him to stop moping around. Jimin had been expecting this to happen, when you two first started sleeping together it had been random, when you were stressed or both of you hammered but then it morphed into something more constant. And as much as sober Taehyung swore up and down that he didn’t feel a certain way, desperately trying to convince himself and everyone else, once he was a few shots in his tune changed drastically. Jimin had witnessed Taehyung relying on you and only you for pleasure and that would have been fine until Jungkook came along.

He knew the second you met the freshman he had you charmed, it may have been deep under the surface but he could see it creeping up slowly more and more every time you two hung out. It wasn’t until the bonfire that Jimin knew his assumptions were correct, seeing you two snuggled up watching movies and teasing each other until Jungkook’s whole face was red. But Jimin also knew you and just because you were charmed didn’t mean anything which is why he’s having a hard time trying to find a proper way to respond.

“Theres no paradise Jimin.” You scoff, slumping against the booth and sliding down an inch. “Taehyung and I sleep together because its convenient–“

He didn’t believe you in the slightest but he’d entertain it. “So then are you moving on to sleeping with Jungkook because it’s more convenient?”

“No, I’m not because he couldn’t get out of my room fast enough after I gave him a blowjob this morning.” You snap back, letting yourself crack a smile even though you were lowkey hurt when Jimin chokes on his coffee. The dark liquid drips out of his mouth, his ring clad fingers wiping it away before it drips down his neck.

“Woah what?”

You let out a pathetic cry, pushing your food away from you and letting your head land with a thud against the table, your mind replaying the events of this morning and you whimper again.

“Was the blowjob that bad?” He whispers across the table, leaning over and shielding his mouth with his hand. He jolts back when you whip your head up so fast your hair smacks him in the face.

“Excuse you, I’ll have you know my general ratings for blowjobs are a 9.5.”

Jimin tilts his head at that, watching you go back to stabbing at your pancakes. “9.5, why not a 10?”

“My gag reflex acts up sometimes.” You shrug before waving your arms around, “That’s besides the point. Yes me and Jungkook hooked up and it was nice and I thought when I woke up this morning everything would be fine and dandy and well normal.”

You pause to drink water, the pancakes getting stuck in your throat due to you not properly chewing them in order to explain yourself. “But clearly that didn’t happen and next thing I know he’s fucking my face and instead of him doing what I thought he was gonna do and ask me what it all meant he left my room without even saying anything.”

At that Jimin slumps back, a whistle leaving his pursed lips as his hands cup his coffee mug. “I mean, maybe he just didn’t know how to approach it? Like honestly what would you have said if he confessed he loved you or something or if he said this was all a mistake, even him suggesting you two keep it casual. Would you have a response for any of that?”

Honestly no, you wouldn’t. Because sleeping with Jungkook was never in your head until recently. Sure you had a teeny tiny crush on him but you acquired crushes on people easily, lingering for a few days max before it fizzled away.

You always assumed it would go away once he found someone to be with. You blame the alcohol, one hundred percent. If you hadn’t drank that much you would’ve been able to continue your life blissfully unaware to how beautiful Jungkooks cock felt inside you. But no, now you were simping.

When you shake your head in response Jimin raises his hand to gesture at you, “See, you need time to digest this and so does he. Relax okay?”

You mumble out an okay, going back to eating your food while Jimin swerves the conversation into something more light hearted. But even while he talks about his new found romance with Chaeyoung, the mayhem that happened after you left the party last night, and him still needing you to be his plus one to his parents event this month because he couldn’t put Chaeyoung through that, your mind was only half tuned in.

The rest of the day doesn’t go any better for Jungkook, he had managed to get into his room and change without running into Taehyung. His friends had successfully roasted his ass over a meal and left Jungkook feeling even more confused than he was before.

When he let them know that you and him had actually slept together and you had given him head that morning he was met with praise from all of them. It wasn’t until he started to speak about feelings and how to go about telling you that he had them that the opinions split. Eunwoo telling him to be honest with you and encouraging him while Mingyu had shouted at Eunwoo, asking him if he smoked crack for suggesting that, Bambam just wincing at Jungkooks confession.

Then came the stories, how they all knew someone who knew someone who knew you or Taehyung, knew of you two and the small reputation your group had. All very familiar stories that Jungkook had heard very early on and when he voiced out that he knew this because he was actually friends with you and your group, it didn’t earn a change of tone from his friends, in fact that only spurred them on.

Bambam mentioning how his roommate Yugyeom partied with Taehyung often and witnessed first hand how shameless you and Taehyung were. And its not until Eunwoo, the only one who had been somewhat encouraging, started telling a story of how he had walked in on you and Taehyung in the bathroom of a party the first week of class that Jungkook rose his hand up to shut them all up.

They were right, he was dumb to think that you sleeping with him and sucking him off meant anything more to you than sexual gratification. You were both drunk and horny and Jungkook had slipped up and confessed his want for you, thats what spurred this on. Had he not said anything you probably would’ve snuck off into a room with Taehyung like you always seemed to do.

“I’d just let it go Kook.” Mingyu spoke up, watching his friends face crumble a bit. Jungkook could only nod, accepting it.

It’s not until the following Tuesday that you see Jungkook. He’s sat in his usual seat in class, near the front with his current essay on his desk as he skimmed it. You’re sat in the back with a small scowl on your face, your fingernails scraping the already chipped table as you stare at the back of his head.

The half blonde half red hair was gone, his usual dark brown color was back and as much as you wanted to compliment him on it you felt like you couldn’t. Jungkook had successfully blown you off, leaving texts unanswered or responding so dryly with no room to continue the conversation and you couldn’t help but feel like you did something wrong.

How things changed so quickly between Halloween and now. All of this just because you two had slept together. You wished he could just talk to you, tell you anything. Fuck even if his reason for ignoring you was that the sex was so bad you’d rather have him tell you that so you two could get over it. But no, Jungkook took it upon himself to act like the friendship you two had blossomed was nothing now.

“You good girl?” Jackson speaks up beside you, his eyes watching you glare down at the younger student.

You sigh deeply turning to face the literary arts major with a fake smile plastered on your face and he just laughs at your failed attempt of looking normal. “Peachy.”

“Could’ve fooled me, looks like you got it out for that freshman. Need me to set him straight?”

He watches you shake your head, your face softening up, your eyes glancing back down to Jungkook once more before looking at Jackson again, “No, just haven’t had a good day so I’m stuck in my head.” You shrug, capping the pen on your desk, “You just caught me daydreaming while staring at him.”

Jackson can only hum, not believing you but honestly not caring enough to push it. Instead he pulls out the recent essay your class had been assigned, handing it over to you and asking you to proof it. So while you two swap papers, giggling in the back of the class as Jackson jokingly critiques your work, Jungkook just sits with his jaw clenched as he tries to block out the sounds of your laughter. He knows its his fault you two haven’t spoken but he can’t get himself to do anything about it.

The minute class is dismissed Jungkook shoves his coursework into his bag and is out of there before you can even get up from your seat. Watching him bolt out of class instead of waiting for you like he usually does is what does it for you, your heart freezing up as you accept that things aren’t gonna be the same.

The first time you feel like you can breathe all week is Friday night, you and your friends doing what you did best. Hoseok had gotten word from a classmate of a party happening and it didn’t take much convincing until all of you were stood inside a random house while throwing back drinks.

Jimin watches as you fill up your shot glass before you fully swallow the one you just took. His hand comes to press on the edge of the cup, stopping you from putting it against your lip, “Slow down.”

Even though he speaks softly you glare at him, navigating your shot glass from under his fingers and turning your head to throw it back. “Don’t tell me what to do.” You grimace, the back of your hand wiping your mouth as you place the glass down behind you.

Jimin raises his hands up in surrender, not being a fan of being on your bad side, but his eyes stay trained on you to make sure you’re fine.

“Where’s Jungkook?” Namjoon asks as he pours sprite into his cup, his eyes looking up to meet Taehyung’s whos stood at the end of the island, his own drink held in his hand.

Tae takes a small sip, his eyes quickly flicking over to you while his gaze is covered by the cup, “Couldn’t make it, plans with his friends.”

Namjoon winces, his hand clutching his chest as he laughs, “Ouch, I thought we were his friends.”

Yoongi hears the snort you let out at his words, your eyes rolling as you push off the counter you were resting on, grabbing a cup for yourself and pouring vodka into half of it following it up with lemonade. You just raise the cup up into the air to announce your departure before you’re walking out of the kitchen and into the stuffy living room to try to dance.

It’s after a few drinks that you feel the warm buzz settle into your blood, the bass of the current music pumping so loud you could feel it in your chest. The living room is crammed and you’re sweaty but you feel when someone slides behind you.

Their hands skim up your exposed thighs, past the hem of your skirt until their large hands are gently grasping your waist, swaying your body in time with theirs. When you let your back rest against their chest you know its Taehyung, the familiar scent of his cologne filling your nostrils.

“You okay Y/N?” He murmurs into your ear, letting you wrap your arms around his neck from behind, feeling you move your hips against his with more purpose now.

“Of course I am.” Your eyes are shut, your head falling back slightly against him, a small smile on your face now that you had alcohol in your system.

Taehyung doesn’t believe you, he’s seen the way you’ve been acting all week, how you couldn’t seem to throw back drinks fast enough tonight, determined to get drunk as quickly as possible. The way you were acting was very much the way you always act when you’re stressed, slightly self destructive under the guise of having fun.

He bites his lip in thought, not sure if he should call you out on the lie or just help you forget like he always does, but when he feels your hand fall from around his neck, your fingers trailing up his thigh behind you he can see you’ve made your own mind up.

His eyes shut when your hands come up to palm him over his jeans, your body whirling around in his grasp, your lips slotting between his so fast he’s surprised he reacts quick enough. Kissing you back with the same urgency you have, a groan being passed from his mouth to yours when you tangle your hands in his hair and tug. Taehyung can feel his cock harden in his jeans, the smirk your press against his lips lets him know you feel it too.

Taehyungs hand grips yours, not thinking twice as he tugs you behind him, the both of you sliding out between the packed bodies as he leads you down the hallway. He groans in frustration when every door he tries is locked, the two of you about to give up until the last door opens up with a click.

He turns to look at you, his blonde hair pushed back and his eyebrows wiggling at you jokingly and only when you laugh does he smile back, tugging you into the dimly lit room and locking the door behind you.

Its the houses master bedroom and you’re surprised out of all the rooms this one isn’t locked. Theres a giant bed in the middle, the lamps on the nightstands beside it being the only source of light.

Taehyung snaps you out of your observation, his hands gripping your shoulders and shoving your back against the door with a small laugh, seeing the tipsy smile on your face as you felt the bass reverberating against the door.

He dips his head down to attach your lips again, relishing in the feeling of your mouth opening up to let his tongue slide in, the small moan you let out and the way your hands reach forward to tug him closer by his belt loops only makes him kiss your harder.

He slips his thigh in between your legs, angling it up to press against your center and feeling more blood rush to his cock when you start to grind down on it with desperation. Your head falls back, hitting the door with a thud but you don’t register the pain, not with the pleasure you feel, especially when Taehyung starts to kiss your neck, softly biting the tender skin and sucking at it until its bruised.

You’re rutting on him faster and if you were more sober you’d be embarrassed at how desperate you were acting but Taehyung loved it, he loved watching you like this, how you couldn’t seem to get enough.

Its when you start whimpering that he pulls away, seeing your face screwed up with a pout on your lips. The friction of his jeans on your clothed pussy felt nice but it wasn’t enough, not when you had Taehyung right in front of you, someone you knew was more than capable of giving you the release you’re searching for.

“Does baby wanna cum?” He coos, his hand gently brushing the hair off your face.

You just nod your head, grabbing his other hand and trailing it down your body until you reach the hem of your skirt, another inch up and his fingers meet the wet fabric of your underwear and he groans deep in his throat at the feeling of how wet you are.

“Please.” You whisper out, brushing your lips against his as you talk. He doesn’t get a chance to respond when he feels your fingers start to work on the buttons on his jeans, your nimble fingers yanking open the gold buttons and pulling his zipper down before your tugging them down enough so you’re able to pull him out of his underwear.

Your small hand wraps around him, giving him a teasing tug and smirking when you see his eyebrows raise up to try to pretend he’s unfazed, but you know him too well.

“Whatever you want baby.” His hands wrap under the hem of your skirt, yanking it up until the fabric bunches around your hips, showing him the cute pink underwear that he can’t wait to ruin further. His finger hooks into the material, tugging the crotch of your underwear to the side and letting you lead his cock to your dripping entrance.

Just as he raises your leg to wrap around his waist you stop him with a gasp as you suddenly remember something.

“Condom.” You breathe out and he falters, not sure if his drunk mind heard you correctly. His hand drops your leg and he steps back from you slowly, letting you slump against the door.

“Huh?” He pouts at you, “Wait why?”

You huff the hair out of your face as you stare at him, the tunnel vision you had slowly fading away as the initial lust started to simmer down now that he was at arms length.

He watches you catch your breath, your swollen lips trying to form a sentence, his eyes look past you to focus on the light switch by your head and you see when the realization hits him. His jaw ticks out when his eyes meet yours again and you don’t know why but it fills you with nerves. “You–“ he pauses and smiles, “you fucked someone else?”

You straighten up against the door, the action making your skirt slide down your legs again. He takes a small step towards you, his hand cupping your chin and forcing you to look up at him, the half smirk remaining on his face but his eyes look cold. His fingers dig into your skin, his head tilting slightly, “I asked you a question baby girl.”

Taehyung watches as you gulp nervously, your lips pursing together, “Yes.”

That answer doesn’t satisfy him, his eyes narrowing down at you, “Yes, what?”

He doesn’t miss when you roll your eyes, yanking your head out of his grasp, “Yes, I fucked someone.”

The laugh that leaves him fills the empty room up, the muffled bass of the music becoming background noise when the room once again falls quiet. His heads thrown back, his neck fully exposed as he smiles at the ceiling before looking back at you, the small smile still on his face.

“When?” His face inches closer to yours, his hand coming back up, this time to gently rest on the side of your neck, the back of his fingers gently rubbing your skin as he nudges his nose into yours with his eyes half lidded.

Your breath stutters at the question, not wanting to be reminded of that night again, and he feels it fan against his face, “A few days ago.” The reply is so quiet he barely hears it, a small squeak that just reaches his ears but he’s humming in confirmation, his four fingers cupping your neck as his thumb traces the underside of your jaw.

“And you let them fuck you without a condom?”

When you just nod he laughs again, letting his forehead rests against yours for a second, “Wow,” he pulls his face back again to really look at you, his right hand coming back between your legs, his hand gently slapping your pussy and you jump at the unexpected feeling, “you dirty girl.”

You whimper when he pulls his hand away, his left hand coming to fully grip your throat, his thumb pressing down gently on your neck, “Do you deserve to get fucked now?” He asks lowly, smiling when your face twists up at the implication of not getting your release tonight, your thighs coming together to try to relieve the pressure you feel.

When you don’t answer he tightens his hold on your neck, feeling the moan in your throat against his hand, “Huh?” He questions again, “Why should I reward you?”

You gasp when he releases his grip for a moment only to squeeze harder a second later, your hand coming up to rest against his fingers. You can feel your arousal drip onto your underwear, the material feeling sticky against your skin and you whimper again, “I’m sorry.” You finally respond, shutting your eyes tightly to try to ground yourself, “I won’t do it again, I promise.”

You plead and you almost cry when he releases your neck letting you rest fully against the door as he steps away from you. His eyes stare you down as you struggle to regain your composure, “You better hope theres a condom in here baby.”

He turns his back to you as he walks to the nightstands by the bed and you take it upon yourself to slip out of your shoes, mind set on getting comfy because you were determined to get dick tonight even if you had to beg. You take a moment to breathe, your mind whirling from the alcohol in your system. This is what you needed, sleeping with Taehyung never left you feeling the way that morning did.

Taehyung rummages around the first drawer, tsking loudly when he finds nothing before moving on to the other side and opening the drawer. When he pulls up a string of condoms into the air you nearly sob and he just smiles as he tears one off and shuts the drawer again.

His hands motion for you to come over and your legs cant move fast enough, stumbling over air until you get to him as hes sliding the condom over his length, his face cringing at the feeling of latex and lube and he knows you’re gonna complain about it too but this is your fault.

His hands grip your shoulders as he turns you to face the bed, pushing your back down to bend you over the edge of it, your hands hiking up the back of your skirt again and he snickers, his right hand rearing back and landing on your ass cheek with a smack. The blood rushes to your skin and the sting that accompanies it just makes you wiggle your hips back at him.

“Such a desperate little slut.” His hands soothe your skin, pulling away to deliver another harder smack to the same spot, chuckling when he hears you moan into the sheets.

“Please Taehyung.” You whimper, your arms lifting your body up slightly to look back at him and he just raises his eyebrows at your pleading. Both his palms smoothing over the skin of your ass, his thumbs toying with the fabric of your underwear, sliding underneath it and moving it aside to slide his length between your folds.

You gasp when you feel the cold lube on the condom press against you, Taehyung sliding his feet between your legs to spread you out further before he’s sliding into your heat, the both of you groaning when he bottoms out.

“Fuck.” You moan, gasping when Taehyung grabs your hair and yanks you up until your arms are supporting your upper body, only giving you a moment to adjust as he starts to pound into you.

Taehyung grunts at the feeling of your walls fluttering against him, annoyance creeping up on him at not being able to fully feel you. He grabs your hips with both hands to hold you still since you can’t seem to stop trying to fuck yourself back onto him. “Stop.” He grunts out, right hand coming down onto your ass again with a sharp sting, “you’re gonna take what I give you.”

Your hands clutch the sheets underneath you, a small cry leaving your throat when his slows his pace, thrusting into you slowly with more force. “Please, f-faster.”

His laugh fills the room again, he reaches over and brushes your hair over your shoulder to see your face pressed against the mattress, “Look at you,” he slides out of you slowly, “cock hungry slut.” He feels you clench around his tip, trying to keep him from leaving you empty but it fails.

You don’t get a chance to protest, his hands moving your body around until you’re on your back and he’s sliding back into you. His hand finds its home around your throat and you moan when he squeezes it the way he knows you love. “Is this what you want?” He asks, quickening his pace. You can feel the material of his jeans rubbing against your ass but you don’t care, not when his dick curves just right inside of you.

You can only nod in his grip, your eyes rolling back when he lifts your leg up and over his shoulder, his body bending over yours and reaching deeper inside you.

“S-so good.” You mumble out, your hand sliding down your body until your fingers are meeting your clit, rubbing the swollen nub in time with his thrusts.

He can feel your body tense up as you near your high, your hand rubbing with vigor and just as you’re about to topple over Taehyung swats your fingers off your clit, stopping his thrusts all together and enjoying the pained expression on your face as your orgasm is ripped away from you.

“No.” You cry as you grab the palm around your neck, wiggling your hips around in frustration.

“You think I’m gonna let you cum?” He taunts, staring down at you with a smirk that only gets wider when he sees your eyes well up with tears and the bastard laughs. Blame it on your need to cum but his condescending tone has more wetness gushing out of you.

“Taehyung,” you gasp, trying to blink the tears away, “please, please let me cum. I need this.”

Its the tone in your voice that makes him believe you, his want of making you feel better overpowering his desire to torture you further. His jaw tenses up as he resumes his earlier pace, the slick noises of him thrusting into you filling the room along with your sighs of relief.

His eyes stay on you, watching as the tension breaks and a lone tear falls free down the side of your face, “Crying over my dick baby?”

Your mouth drops open at a particular thrust that hits your bundle of nerves deliciously, your head nodding and slurring out a response, “Fuck, yes. Love it.”

Taehyung releases your throat in favor of cupping your cheeks with his palm under your jaw, “Does other dick make you cry like this?”

Your body is being jostled with every thrust, his grip on your cheeks tightening to hold your face still, “No, j-just you, god, just you Taehyung.”

Your right hand goes to tug at his shirt, wanting him even closer and he obliges, leaning further into you, making the muscles in your leg scream in protest at the stretch but you take it.

“So then why are you letting other guys fuck you when you know I’m all you need.” His pelvic bone rubs against your clit with his new angle, the feeling making you moan as you feel the coil tighten in your stomach.

“Im sorry.” You sob, “I won’t do it again.” You promise, your breath stuttering and hes shushing you gently, pressing his lips against you quickly before hes ordering you to open your mouth for him.

His fingers remain on your cheeks as you do what he asks, sticking your tongue out and seeing his eyes light up at you looking so submissive underneath him. “You’re mine.” He grunts out in between thrusts before hes gathering spit behind his lips and letting it fall onto your tongue.

You moan at the sensation, bringing your tongue back in to swallow it, “Yours.” You mumble out before sticking it back out again. Your mind was hazy as you neared your release again, Taehyungs cock stretching you open so beautifully made you feel more drunk than your drinks did.

“Dirty girl.” He murmurs out before spitting in your mouth again, letting you swallow it, leaning back from you and bringing your other leg up on his shoulder. Your body folded in half when he bent over again, letting his arms cage you in as he started to fuck you harder.

Small grunts of pleasure were leaving him, seeing your face looking fucked out every time he thrust back in, your walls pulsing around him as you got closer to the end. Fuck Taehyung wished he didn’t have to wear this stupid condom.

“Close.” You whisper out, wrapping your arms over his shoulders as best as you could, taking his pounding with your head thrown back. And then that coil inside you was snapping, your pussy clamping down on him as you chanted his name. Your body shuddered underneath his, your nails digging into his shoulders through his shirt as your back arched off the bed.

“Oh my god, yes.” You mewled, your eyes screwed shut as you saw white. Taehyung continued to thrust into you, moaning softly at the feeling of your walls pulsing around him. His eyes moved down to where you two connected, your underwear was absolutely ruined, damp with the mixture of lube and your arousal. You were whimpering now as you came down and Taehyung slid out of you, his hands yanking off the condom as he slid onto the bed on his knees. Shuffling up towards you, his thighs on either side of your ribs while his hand jerked himself off on top of you. You weakly held yourself up with your elbows, your mouth dropping open once more as you waited.

“Shit.” Taehyung gasped, the head of his cock peaking out of his grasp every time he pumped himself. His brows furrowed as his jaw slacked, a deep groan leaving him when he met his release. His eyes bored into yours as thick ropes of his cum splashed onto your face, landing on your lips and tongue, splattering onto your cheek. He hummed in content when you swallowed his seed and brought your cleaned tongue out to show him.

He shuffles back off of you slightly, letting you rest back onto the bed fully as he hovers over your body. His thumb traces your cheek, his fingers swiping his sticky mess around your face, popping into your mouth and letting you suck them clean.

“Mine.” He mumbles out, when your eyes slip shut as he presses down on your tongue, pulling the finger out of your mouth and smashing his lips against you again, not caring as his nose touches the cum on your cheek.

You’re gasping into his mouth when his tongue swirls against yours, “Tae stop, I cant.” You whimper and thats when he realizes his hand had slipped between your thighs and started rubbing your sore clit again.

“Sorry.” He whispers, pecking your lips once more and sliding his fingers away from your center, wiping them clean on the black jeans he still had on.

His eyes roam the room before hes getting up and adjusting himself back into his pants, going into the ensuite bathroom and coming back out with a handful of wipes. “They don’t have towels in there.” He speaks softly when he comes out, his hand cupping your face and gently wiping away any trace of him on you, moving on to clean between your thighs.

You hum softly at the feeling, letting yourself lay limp onto the bed with a groan. Your head cranes up slightly when you feel him start to slide your underwear down your legs, his eyes looking up at you and seeing the confusion on your face, “I’m sorry, were you trying to wear these ruined panties back out?”

You lean back, your hand draping across your face as you pout, “No, but I don’t wanna flash anyone either.”

He chuckles, slipping the material past your ankles and crumbling them up before he’s stuffing them into his jean pockets before you can notice. “I mean it’s either you flash someone or everyones gonna get a whiff of what your cum smells like.”

Your face flushes at the statement, he’s right, you’ll take your chances. Taehyung just stares at your form, his fingers tracing the tops of your legs softly, smirking when he sees your muscles trembling slightly at the aftershocks of your orgasm.

His heart is currently pounding in his chest, not just from exertion but from a mixture of the anger and jealousy he felt when you had admitted to sleeping with someone new. As much as he tried to convince himself and a few of your friends that he didn’t like you like that he knew he was lying. Taehyung didn’t love you but somewhere in the middle of this he had realized his interest in you had gone deeper than your friendship and hookups and now he was scared.

The both of you were the ones who shouted the loudest when it came to being against relationships at this age, you and him used to be each others wingmen at bars and clubs before sleeping together had become more consistent. Taehyung had never recalled getting jealous when you spoke of different hookups, hell he used to take it as a challenge when you’d talk about how so and so had made you see stars when you came, he would eat you out with new found determination, enjoying as you laughed and shuddered after he forced orgasm after orgasm out of you.

No, it wasn’t until his new roommate had entered the picture and the way you had acted the night of the halloween party, shooing him away like he meant nothing while you pranced over to the younger boy and gave him your undivided attention, thats when he felt the first real pang of hurt in his chest.

And now he felt stupid, stupid because he knew this would happen but his inflated ego had hoped it would be you catching feelings, not him.

Fuck, Yoongi was gonna have a fucking field day.

“Why’re you staring at me like that?” You mumbled out, sitting up slightly as you rested on your elbows.

Taehyung smiled softly, “You just look really pretty.”

You scoff, swatting his hands off your thighs with a smile, not being able to conceal the blush on your cheeks, “Yeah right, you only call me pretty when I’m covered in your cum.”

He laughs loudly at that, the classic Taehyung laugh that comes from his stomach, his mouth opening wide while his eyes crinkle up and its endearing.

He’s crawling over your body again, his thighs caging you in as his right hand cups your cheek and he presses a firm kiss on your lips, “Just accept the compliment.” You hum against him as he nudges your noses together before kissing you again, “C’mon, lets go.”

He’s leaning back and patting your knees, letting you grasp his arm as you stand up to slip your shoes back on. The both of you laugh as you walk out of the room, Taehyung clowning you as your legs give out a few times and when the party host sees you two leaving the master bedroom, asking you who you were, Taehyung crouches down and wraps his arms under your butt to lift you straight up as he runs down the hall.

You’re screaming with laughter, swatting Taehyungs shoulder to tell him to stop being dramatic since he wasn’t even following you but he just spins you around a few more times.

With your added height Yoongi spots you easily from his spot by the liquor, his eyes narrowing as he sees the dark purple hickey on your neck. He just shakes his head, old habits die hard and you two were well and truly fucked.

Once Taehyung finally lets you down you tug your skirt, making sure you’re fully covered since you were currently commando, “You wanna get outta here?” He asks you, staring down at you with a smile, “Kinda craving some street food.”

You nod at him, your hands coming down to pat at your stomach. Eating some food would do you good, you needed something in there to absorb the alcohol sloshing around. “Should I tell everyone else?” Your eyes scan the room, trying to spot your friends but not being able to see past the bodies surrounding you.

“Nah lets go just us two.” Taehyung suggest, he just wants to spend time with you alone, someplace you two could talk without having to shout at each other. You feel his hand clasp around yours, a smile on his face that only widens up when you nod, letting him once again lead the way as you exit the house.

The location of the party wasn’t too far from an area near campus that was notorious for their grilled chicken skewers so naturally thats where you two headed. Your hand hooked around his arm while you slowly walked there, Taehyung helping you stay balanced as you stepped over cracks and uneven sidewalks in your heels.

It had been a long while since you two properly hung out together, hanging out in his dorm room only to sleep together or hanging out with your entire friend group wasn’t the same. Taehyung missed the random chaotic energy you two had together, doing bar crawls as a duo, roaming the streets as you snapped endless photos of him and your surroundings, or just you two grabbing food alone.

You were thinking the same thing, your mind hadn’t realized the small space of distance that had creeped in between the two of you until right now. You had gotten busy with work and school and he had too, plus with the added attention you were giving Jungkook as he asked for help with Jisoo or random questions he would have, you two barely spent more than an hour together in his room more often than not.

So as he orders food for you two, handing you a skewer as he takes a bite out of his own with a smile, you can’t help but think how thankful you are for the weird relationship you two have.

You walk over to the nearby bench as he grabs your drinks before joining you, both of you huffing as you take a bite of the hot chicken, laughing at the dumb faces you make. “This is nice.” Taehyung speaks softly, his teeth sliding another chicken piece off the skewer.

The crisp sound of you opening up the soda can fills the air beside you as you hum, “Yeah, it is.”

Taehyung carefully chews his food as he thinks his next words over, his tongue licking his lips as he swallows. “If I say something and you’re not on board can you just pretend I never mentioned it?”

That grabs your attention, setting the can down by your feet as you nod at him. Your mind assuming he’s gonna ask you to try something new in bed but one look at his face shows that hes clearly nervous. “Sure, whats up.”

He nervously takes another chunk off of his chicken, using the food to stall as his eyes give your face a once over to see if theres any sign that he shouldn’t say what he wants to say but you’re sitting there patiently waiting for him to finish, opening up his own drink for him to take a sip that he’s surely gonna need. He takes the can with a smile, taking a gulp and looking at you again.

“Let me take you out.” Your lips purse out in confusion so he continues, “Like, on a date.”

Those words feel foreign on his tongue, not being able to recall the last time he ever used them. He wants this though, he needs to know if the inkling of a crush he feels inside means anything more than just friendship and lust. If the date is garbage and you both agree its weird then no harm done.

“You’re drunk.” You laugh, cupping his cheek with your left hand.

“You are too.” He counters, mimicking your action and cupping your own cheek.

“No I’m not.”

“Well neither am I.” And his quick retorts make you laugh again, dropping your hand from his face.

When he doesn’t remove his hand you sigh, leaning into his touch slightly, “Why Taehyung?” You remember Yoongi’s words from the art exhibit, claiming Taehyung had a crush on you and you had just laughed it off, but with this unfolding now you know Yoongi knew more than he let on.

“Can I be honest?” He asks, more confidence filling him since you hadn’t immediately told him no. He was expecting you to burst into laughter and call him ridiculous but the fact that you were entertaining the thought made him feel less stupid. “I’ve been battling these emotions for over a month now and I know this mutually beneficial thing we have going only works when theres no feelings going on, and I know we both hate relationships but if I’m laying it all out there I haven’t actually slept with anyone else in so long which says a lot.”

You can only giggle at his rambling, watching him take another deep breath to keep talking, “I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have the best track record but I’m just asking for one date. One.”

Hes finished now, still wanting to continue to ramble to further explain himself but he needs to know what your thoughts are first. Your face gives nothing away as you stare at him.

“Do you actually want this or is this your jealousy speaking because you know I slept with someone?”

He rolls his lips together as he nods along, “No, I mean it. I know you slept with Jungkook–“ your eyes widen at that but he ignores it, he had figured it out on his own. Jungkook was a shit liar, the way he had stuttered when Tae asks about his Halloween night, how he would derail conversations that brought you up had spelled it out for him and with your confession tonight it just confirmed what he already thought, “and it’s none of my business, but hearing about it made me feel a way I’ve never felt before so I just want to know if there a chance.”

You both fall silent after that, your mind drawing a blank as you think. You had always been so fast to dismiss any thoughts regarding dating Taehyung. You had never thought of Taehyung as a boyfriend because you had never seen Taehyung be a boyfriend besides those two strange weeks, you only ever saw him as your friend who happened to know how to give you great orgasms. There was no denying that Taehyung was hot, the physical attraction was not an issue, and your personalities mixed well together, it was just the thought of Taehyung being able to be a boyfriend that left you unsure.

You weren’t even positive you wanted a boyfriend yet, with how life was at the moment you couldn’t find a spot to juggle a relationship in between it all but he’s only asking for a date. Who knows how that could play out, you shouldn’t overthink it all because for all you know the date could be a disaster.

“One date, and if its a shit show we forget it ever happened?”

His eyes shut, his lips pressing together as he sighs, opening his eyes again and nodding, “Yeah, exactly.”

Ignoring everything you’ve heard from everyone the past few weeks you nod, there was nothing to lose and you were sick of people having opinions and advice to give you regarding situations that had nothing to do with them. “Fine, wine and dine me Kim Taehyung.”

“No sixty-nineing though.” He gently prods your with the tip of his skewer, his classic smile back on his face, “Just a wholesome date, can’t let my dick be the reason you accept, it’d ruin the scientific study.”

Just like that you’re both laughing again, your hands shoving his shoulder, falling back into normal conversation as you finish your food, Taehyung getting up to grab another order for you two.

The actual time and place of the date had been a bit of a struggle to decide, you and Taehyung needing to plan around your schedules but he was determined to make it worth it. He had started doing things he normally didn’t do, messaging you in between a long break in classes and bringing you food to eat during it all while claiming it didn’t count as a date yet. He’d also begun waiting for you at the end of your latest class on Thursday nights, insisting on walking with you during the very long 3 minute trek back to your building.

His reasoning was trying to help normalize doing these things just in case the date went well and you kinda liked it. Taehyung had always been a caring friend, yes he was vulgar and shameless but that didn’t discredit that he always tried his best to show his friends how much they meant to him. Getting an extra dosing of that caring Taehyung isn’t something you’re against but you’re not letting your guard down yet, not until this date happens.

Luckily your schedules aligned and tonight would be the night you two give this date a shot and you’re a little nervous. The dynamic between you two was fun and carefree, a small part of you was scare you two were teetering too close to the edge and a wrong move would be the downfall of all of it. Yeah you had said if this date went sour you would pretend it never happened but would it be that easy?

How were you going to go back to fooling around after knowing he had been thinking of asking you out on a date for weeks now. You’d feel cruel sleeping with him if you had no feelings after this date while he did.

“Why are you pouting, do you hate the top I picked out?” Wendy asks, staring at your reflection as she stands behind you, her fingers tugging at the blouse she had suggested you wear.

You take a deep breath, shaking your head as you stare at the material of the white patterned top you had on, your fingers going to smooth the front which was tucked into your jeans, “No, just overthinking tonight.”

She hums in understanding, helping you adjust the back of the shirt so it wasn’t bunched up, “Don’t be, I’m sure Jungkook is just as nervous.”

Your hand freezes halfway down your pants, your face scrunching up because im sorry what?

“Jungkook?” The tone of your voice exhibits just how wrong her assumption had been, her wide eyes flicking back to yours, a tiny grimace on her face, “Is that not who you’re going out with?” She speaks timidly.

You yank your hand out of your pants with a huff, your fingers fidgeting with your hair, “No, why would you even think that?” You hadn’t told a soul about what you and Jungkook had done, the only people who knew were your friends and they had no need to go gossiping about your business to everyone because they couldn’t be bothered.

Wendy goes back your closet, sorting through your jackets to see what would pair nicely with your outfit, “I mean after Halloween I kind of just assumed something sparked between you two.”

“After Halloween?” You’re turning to properly face her now, okay she definitely knew. The only person who had seen you and Jungkook sneak into your room had been Jihyo and you highly doubted she would rat you out to your own roommate considering she’d also be getting in trouble.

“Girl, did you forget Yeri’s room is right next door?” Her thumb flicks over to your side of the room, pointing at the wall you most likely shared with her friend and your face reddens. “She told me she heard you giving him the gawkgawk5000.” That breaks your hard exterior, your hand reaching out to swat at her before you’re covering your face as you both break out in hysterical laughter, you calling her a child as you scream behind your palms, “I hate you!”

She just laughs harder, “Hey, no shame here. She didn’t know it was him until she saw him leave your room a few minutes later.” When you compose yourself again, standing straight up and wiping under your eyes to save your makeup from being ruined by stray tears, you see shes staring at you with a gentle look on her face, “Did something happen?”

You finally spill it all out to your room mate, telling her everything, how Jungkook had approached you one night after he partied with Tae and assumed you were being cheated on, asking you for help regarding girls and sex, that time in your room, to the drunk texts and wet dreams to finally sleeping with him and the cursed morning after and the way he left and hadn’t given you the time of day since.

Her pretty face was pulled in, a look of anger coming across as her brows pinched together on her forehead, “What a fucking dick. You know what though, I knew it.”

“What do you mean?”

Her arms cross under her chest, “He came across as too pure, asking you for relationship advice was his way into your pants. No guy that looks like him needs help for fucks sake. Maybe Jisoo was telling the truth.” She shrugs, confident in her words. You frown at her statement but you’re not in a hurry to jump to his defense like you had before because you were still very much upset at him, even now, over two weeks later he had yet to reach out and you were growing sick of it. Seeing him bolting out of class no longer stung like it had the first time.

“Yeah, maybe.” You shrug it off, “I’m going on a date with Tae though.”

The screech she lets out bursts your eardrums, your hands clasping over them as she holds the note out, “What!” She’s yanking your hands away from your poor ears, holding them clasped in between the two of you, “Kim Taehyung? The boy you religiously bang? Certified McDreamy?”

You roll your eyes at her praises, “Jesus-”

“Yes, the man looks like Jesus!”

“Wendy!” You snap with a chuckle, “Yes that Taehyung.”

You yank your hand out of her grasp to pull your phone out to check the time. He had told you to be ready by 6pm and it was currently a few minutes shy of that so you had to get going. “How did that happen?”

“It just did? He said he just wants one date, something about him wanting to see if this helps him figure out his feelings and I guess mine?” She sees you grab the leather jacket she had pulled out for you, her hands making grabby motions at you when she realizes you’re about to walk out.

“No, you can’t drop that bomb and fucking leave what’s wrong with you!” She marches to the door and stands in front of it as you slide into your converse, slinging your bag over your shoulder as you walk towards her with a grin.

“I’ll tell you whatever you want when I get back, if its a disaster I won’t have anything worthy of saying.” She just pouts but grumbles out a fine, stepping aside and letting you leave.

Just as you make it out of your building your phone starts vibrating with an incoming call from Taehyung, a picture of him high as fuck with a dopey smile adorning a plastic tiara that you had taken during summer break set as his contact photo.

“Hey, where should I meet you?” You ask, your legs already starting to move in the direction of the boys dorm but he stops you, telling you to meet him on the west side of campus, the area where guests were allowed to park.

He stays on the line as you walk that way, asking if you were excited even though he had told you zero details of what he had planned. Its when you reach the guest parking and spot him standing against the hood of a car that one hundred percent did not belong to him that you stop talking on the phone, hearing him laugh into the receiver at your expression.

He hangs up the call when you get closer, his arms gestured out to the car, a giant smile on his face, “Okay who’s car is that?”

Your eyes examine the car further as he pulls you in for a hug, complimenting your outfit, “Oh my god is this Jin’s car?” You speak against his chest, pushing him back to peak into the passenger side window, spotting the peach scented air freshener hung around the mirror to confirm your suspicion.

He chuckles again when you turn to face him with a knowing look, “Yeah, he let me borrow it for tonight. I promised him I’d wash it and fill up his tank.”

“You don’t have your license though.”

He presses his index finger against your lips gently, “Sh, lets not get into specifics.” He ignores your eye roll and opens the door for you, sliding into the drivers seat shortly after and starting up the car.

Your eyes take in his appearance, seeing his blond hair laying on his head in soft waves, a handful of silver chains around his neck that glimmer with the last remaining light the sun gives off. He has a loose black and burgundy striped shirt that has the first few buttons open, the material tucked into form fitting black trousers, a black leather jacket draped on him that matches the one you currently have on.

Your outfits were very similar in style and it makes you giggle slightly, his eyes drifting off the road to look over at your for a moment, smiling when he sees you giggling to yourself, “What?”

You lean further into the passengers seat, your hand raking through your hair, “It looks like we coordinated our outfits.”

He joins you in laughing, letting one hand drop off the steering wheel to reach out and pinch the fabric of your shirt, “You know, I’m pretty sure you stole this shirt from me.”

Now that he mentions it, you’re pretty sure you did, remembering how he had bought this shirt online and when it had arrived he was pissed when the material wouldn’t stretch over his broad shoulders. The way the short sleeves dug into his skin as he tried to force himself to fit into it had made you laugh when he turned to face you, looking like the hulk in tiny clothes.

“You gave it to me okay.” He hums, refusing to believe thats how it played out, “Where are we going anyway?”

He had started driving further away from campus, deeper into the city and had yet to say anything, “I actually heard about this exhibit happening this month and got us tickets. It has some of your favorite surrealism photographers work on display.”

The car fell silent, all you could do was stare at him, seeing him nervously chew on his lip as he tried to focus on the road when you didn’t say anything. Had he already fucked up?

Taehyung knew of your love for surrealism, being on the receiving end of the countless messages you’d sent him of insane photos. He’d also seen you spent hours upon hours in photoshop trying to perfect photos in that style before giving up all together, accepting that it was a style you wouldn’t be able to master. Nonetheless you still loved it from afar and him doing this for you made you wonder just how attentive he had to be.

“If you think its stupid we can go do something else–“

“Taehyung,” you cut him off, gently swatting his shoulder, “no, thats actually really nice.” You can just see how his body sags into the seat in relief, his hands tapping the steering wheel in excitement.

He’s nervous as hell, the jittery feeling is completely new to him, his hands never got clammy when you two hung out before but as he struggled to button up his top half an hour ago he knew it was the fear of not knowing how this would play out.

Jungkook had watched him get ready while he sat at his desk and finished his course work, the two of them exchanging polite words even though Taehyung wanted to fight him. He knew you and Jungkook had a falling out, with the way you’ve acted and the fact that Jungkook couldn’t seem to desperately divert conversations fast enough if your name ever popped up it wasn’t hard to piece together.

So even though Taehyung wanted to talk about this first date, help get his nerves in check, he didn’t want to bring it up and have the conversation become awkward. He held it all in until he got to Jin’s apartment, words of doubt instantly falling from his mouth when Jin opened the door for him.

Arang had been sat on the couch, a smile on her face, clearly enjoying seeing Taehyung uncharacteristically nervous. Seokjin had led Taehyung into the kitchen, thrusting a bottle of water into his hand with encouraging words. The oldest friend had been the only one to not make Taehyung feel like he was doing something he shouldn’t. Considering Jin was Tae’s room mate before he graduated he had witnessed the dynamic between the two of you more than anyone else so when he told him that he had nothing to worry about, that everything would be fine between you two regardless, he finally let himself take a breath.

And once you two arrived at the exhibit, you stood in the middle of it all with the biggest smile, grabbing his hand and yanking him to the first photo that caught your eye, Taehyung lets out that same breath.

You spend two hours in that building, your hand remaining intertwined with his and even though it isn’t something you two ever did it feels nice, the small squeezes shared between each other had emotions stirring inside you that you swore you’d never feel.

Taehyung and you bounce around from photo to photo, him watching you patiently as you take everything in. The dates nice and the conversation flows naturally, attributed to the fact that you two are very good friends. Taehyung can feel his heart skip a beat every time you drag him along behind you and he hopes you feel anything at all.

That craving he has only intensifies once you two are sat back in the car, both the seats pulled back and the windows rolled down to let the night breeze roll in. Taehyung had pulled in to a nice lookout spot near campus after you had voiced a want for a milkshake, which you were currently sipping on as you sat with your feet resting on the dashboard.

Taehyung was sipping on his own shake, licking any traces of the chocolate desert off his lips as he stared at you. “So,” he started lamely, a sheepish smile adorning his face when you glanced at him sideways.

“So.” You mimic, stirring the straw in your cup.

“Thoughts?” Its all he can get himself to ask, not wanting to ask a specific question that puts you on the spot.

The soft sounds of the radio playing fill the silence as you reach forward and set your cup on top of the dash by your propped up feet. This was the part of the date that you were anticipating, your brain sorting through every memory and possible emotion to form a response.

“I had a good time, but I knew I would, that was never a doubt of mine.” He knew this but he still smiles, letting you continue talking. “I’m just confused I guess?”

You nervously tuck your hair behind your ear, dropping your legs from their spot and shuffling on the seat, “We’ve been... us, for almost as long as we’ve known each other so I’m just wondering what would change if we pursued these feelings?”

“Do you have feelings?”

His question makes you fidget, you’ve never been comfortable talking about romantic feelings hence the underwhelming list of boyfriends past.

“I’m having a hard time figuring out if what I feel is love for our friendship or something deeper.” You confess, your eyes meeting again and you relax when you see he’s not upset or offended, “What we currently have is such a blurred line, if we were strictly friends and nothing else then maybe it’d be easier for me to figure out if I felt butterflies because I wanna know what it feels like to kiss you but its kinda hard to do that when I already kiss you all the time.”

He gets that, what you guys had blurred the line between friendship and relationship. It was not the typical friends with benefits dynamic and he knew that from the start, you two wouldn’t just send each other a text at 3am looking to get off, you would hang out all the time, he would kiss you in public like it was completely normal, and the amount of people who thought you were a couple already spelled it out.

“I guess what I’m wondering is, is it just the exclusiveness that comes with it?”

He sets his own cup down besides yours, settling back in his seat slightly turned towards you. “No, well I mean yes-sorta. Like I told you, besides me kissing like two girls I haven’t slept with anyone besides you.”

“Tae you realize if we’re dating you can’t be kissing any girls?” You tease him, enjoying the eye roll he gives you.

“Yes Y/N I know this.”

“Did you know this when you dated Nari?”

“Nari?” His face scrunches up as he thinks, his expression settling into one of understanding, “Y/N, I asked Nari out when I was high off shrooms and she only dated me because she knew I could get her drugs. She cheated on me twice as much. Is that a reason you’re not into this?”

“Its one of the reasons.” The reason you didn’t do relationships was not because you were scared of monogamy, sure you liked the freedom of being single but you knew deep down if you were actually with someone you wouldn’t be unfaithful. Taehyung had never explicitly said he didn’t date because he knew he would cheat but after witnessing him and Nari’s shit show of a relationship for two weeks it was a rightfully made assumption.

“Y/N,” he speaks softly, almost nervously because he can feel his heart in his throat. His hands are clammy again, fidgeting on his lap, “I’m ignoring every fiber inside me to say this and I know it’ll be hard to but believe me when I say it’s more than just being exclusive. I think about what it’d be like to have a dumb photo of us as my lock screen, or to properly introduce you to people as my girlfriend, or even wondering what my parents would think of you and I told myself I wouldn’t say any of this but I need you to know it’s not just me wanting an ego boost about being the only guy you sleep with.”

His confession is definitely not one you expected and its stunned you to silence, “I dont–I don’t expect you to have a response to any of that, I’ve had a head start at letting my feelings settle so I get it if you need time.”

You can only nod softly at his stuttered statement, you definitely needed time but hearing his confession didn’t fill your stomach with dread like you thought it would and when he softly grabs your hand you’re once again thankful for the relationship you two have.

“So then are you two officially dating?” Yoongi asks as you both walk down the street, you had finished your shift a few minutes ago and were now headed back to campus. The sun was almost fully set and the sharp cold of the wind had you two huddled close together to keep warm.

“No, we’re not. I told him I need to think about it before diving in.” He hums in response, glad that you weren’t jumping into anything without thinking it through. Yoongi, like always, had seen this coming from a mile away, take away the fact that Taehyung had drunkenly confessed to his feelings multiple times in confidence Yoongi would still be able to detect them otherwise. Yoongi, and Jimin as well, weren’t against you dating if thats how the cards played out, they were just trying to make sure you two weren’t doing it for the wrong reasons. The last thing anyone wanted was a messy situation but it seemed like Jungkook had dropped out of the picture entirely, his absence made the situation less likely to implode.

“Smart, I’m glad he finally said something. I gave you a heads up though, not my fault you didn’t take me seriously.”

You roll your eyes as you near campus, a group of boys making their way down the path you were walking up, too far away to make anyone out. Yoongi yelps when you swing your arm around his head, forcing him to hunch over as you attempt to put him in a headlock, your hand wrapping around your wrist as you try to overpower him. “Not my fault you didn’t take me seriously.” You mimic, hearing him guffaw at your surprising strength.

All it takes is him abruptly standing back up to knock your hold loose, the action making you stumble over, Yoongi reaching his arms out to catch you by the waist before you topple over onto the concrete. He pulls you into his chest from the force and you’re both laughing hysterically, his hands letting you go once you’re stable, choosing you wrap over your shoulder to continue walking huddled together.

Unbeknownst to you the group that was walking towards you was Jungkook and his friends, all of them taking note that it was you and Yoongi walking towards them. Having seen the incident that just happened Mingyu speaks up, “Isn’t that Y/N?”

Jungkook has his eyes glued to you, seeing you’re cheeks tinted pink from the cold and a smile on your face as Yoongi spoke, “Yeah it is.”

Mingyu scoffs, “See, she’s already hopped onto the next one.”

Eunwoo glares at his friend, trying to tell him to shut up but Mingyu doesn’t get it not even when Jungkook mutters that you’re just friends with Yoongi, “Yeah, like shes friends with Taehyung. Bambam told me that Yugyeom saw her and Taehyung sneak off at a party a few weeks or so ago.”

That only irks Jungkook more, why the fuck were they trying to keep tabs on you? Was this their way of trying to make him feel better when their words were the ones that made him distance himself?

As you and Yoongi get closer your eyes drift up and meet Jungkooks, he sees the flash of realization on your face and he desperately wants to greet you but he knows he’s already dug his grave, more so when Mingyu continues to put his foot in his mouth, “Heard she slept with Jimin too, don’t be simping over a slut dude.”

Jungkooks eyes widen at what his friend had just called you, and you had heard, his voice had been loud and clear as you passed by. You froze on the pathway, your brows pulled together as you stared at the concrete at your feet. Yoongi had heard the remark as well, his hands now digging into your shoulder, waiting to see if you’d say something or if he’d had to.

His group continued to walk down the path, all it took was a moment for you to breathe in before you whipped around and marched over to his group. You were pissed, Jungkook had treated you like you meant nothing and now his friends were calling you names and he said nothing?

Jungkook could hear the sound of feet stomping behind him and he knew it was you and fuck he could feel his stomach sink at the fact that this would be the first interaction you would have. Surprisingly you don’t reach for Jungkook, your hands curl around Mingyu’s shoulder and yank him hard, his face showing pure shock at you standing before him looking livid.

“What the fuck did you call me?” Your tone is void of any emotion and it only scares him, Bambam and Eunwoo taking a few steps back to steer clear of your wrath.

Mingyu seems to have lost his balls, his mouth opening and closing as he tries to think of a response. He hadn’t meant for you to hear that, he was only trying to cheer up his friend but it had only earned and elbow to the rib from Jungkook and now you were stood in front of him looking like you were ready to castrate him.

When his friend sputters out gibberish your eyes move to stare down Jungkook, the same wide eye look he always had that used to make you swoon just filled you with anger and he can see it, the way your mouth twisted up in disgust at his lack of defense. “Fuck you Jungkook.”

You wanted to say more but you really didn’t feel like crying in front of guys who clearly didn’t see you as a human being with emotions so you turn back around and storm off again, passing Yoongi as you feel your eyes burn. Jungkook gulps as he stares at Yoongi, seeing the cold stare in his eyes and thats when he bolts into action, ignoring his friends and running after you.

You were taking deep breaths as you walked, blinking furiously to force the tears to go away. Yes guys were fucking assholes, the majority of them acting like women were only there for their pleasure and nothing else while simultaneously slut shaming the girls they used, but you hadn’t expected it from Jungkook. He hadn’t called you a slut but his friend had and it didn’t get any reaction from him and that alone was a reaction enough.

“Y/N.” You hear the out of breath voice of Jungkook, rolling your eyes you try to speed up, fully aware you left your friend behind but you weren’t far from your building.

Jungkook reaches out and grasps your arm, a small tug you feel but you yank out of it as if he had done something outrageous, his hands coming up in defense when you turn around and glare at him, your nose now tinted red from trying to stop yourself from crying, “What Jungkook.”

“I’m sorry.” Is all he says, his hands still raised up as he steps a tiny bit closer to you, seeing your gaze flicker down to his feet before looking back at him and he deems this is close enough.

“Oh are you, for what exactly?” Your arms are crossed under your chest now, an expression on your face that he never thought he would witness, especially not towards him, “Are you sorry for sleeping with me and leaving immediately after, or are you sorry for completely disregarding our friendship after you got what you wanted?”

His face looks hurt, his hands softly dropping to his sides as he pouts at your statement, “Or are you sorry your friend called me a slut and you said nothing. You know Jungkook, I thought our friendship meant something to you but you fucking used me.” Your finger comes up to point at him accusingly, you were beyond mad now, your mouth determined to spew out anything you could to make him feel as shitty as he had made you feel.

“No I didn’t.” That just makes you scoff, only confusing him further because he hadn’t used you, not intentionally like you’re making it out to be.

“Really? You came to me looking for help, help with sex, and I don’t know why I was so naive to believe that a guy like you needed help getting girls but it makes sense now. Is that your play, come across as vulnerable to get girls to believe whatever comes out of your mouth. If you just wanted me to sleep with you all you had to do was ask Jungkook, not fucking string me along with friendship and other bullshit. I defended you from Jisoo but you know what, maybe she wasn’t that far off.”

Jungkook didn’t know what to say at all, contrary to what you now thought he really was as inexperienced as he had said. All the bullshit his friends had spewed to him, telling him that you viewed sex a certain way and that he was stupid to keep a friendship with you because his stupid crush wouldn’t go anywhere was the reason you viewed him this way and he wanted to scream.

He loved your friendship, he had found himself looking forward to any of the small moments you two shared in passing and he wishes he could go back in time and go about that dreaded morning differently, even the possibility of you two never sleeping together sounded better to him than you standing here with tears in your eyes as you told him off.

“I’m sorry for all of it okay but I swear I didn’t lie to you to try to get into your pants-”

“Save the bullshit Jungkook,” you cut him off, seeing his hand clutch his black strands in worry because he can tell you’re not gonna hear him out and honestly he didn’t blame you, “I expected this from so many people but never you.”

He watches as you turn back around, taking a few steps before turning back to him, “You know what, I’m glad I gave you a black eye the first day of class. You deserve it.” With that you fully turn around and leave him standing there, his hands coming up to touch his eye and nose as he remembers the very first day you two met.

Hes only given another second of silence until a harsh shove to his shoulder has him stumbling, his head turning in the direction it came from and seeing Yoongi stood there, hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat with a mean glare on his face, “The fuck is wrong with you.” Is all the older boy says before sauntering off after you.

Jungkook can only stand there, no longer caring about his friends, his eyes glued to your figure as you and Yoongi step into your building and he once again feels lost. There was no way out of this in his mind and he could only blame himself. You had reached out to him multiple times, excited text messages asking him about his day, offering to go get food together, the occasional meme and he had ignored it all. It hurt him to do so but his friends’ words stuck with him and he’s never regret asking them for advice more in his life.

The stupid pain in his chest was back now, his face screwing together as he tried not to cry, this was his fault. Jungkook had well and truly fucked up.

[rwdestuffs]

RvB0: What went well, what didn’t, and all the in-between.

Since RT is making this a bit easier by releasing the complete seasons in long videos, this is arguably something that probably should be done to wrap up the whole thing, and maybe see how far the series has come.

Red vs. Blue: ZERO is arguably the most divisive season of the entire series of the show.

Now obviously, people are very resistant to change, but whereas the prior seasons had change that was received to varying degrees of positivity, it was overall, positive.

So let’s go over some history to better understand what happened.

The main aspect of the original Reds and Blues, intentionally or not, were based off of gaming stereotypes.

It’s WAY too long to describe here, so here’s a link to how it works: [here]

Seasons 1-5 is basically a showcase of these gamer stereotypes. Displaying them as their base personalities and grows them as these new characters.

The whole entirety of Project Freelancer is pretty much a deconstruction of gaming tropes. The AI are Lootboxes that give an edge to a player, they have leaderboards, and they go into lobbies with lower level players to basically flex all over them.

The Chorus Trilogy has an arc deconstructing the concept of these types of team battles, pointing out how it never really amounts to anything except profits for the one side that’s basically the third party (Think Mann Co from TF2).

Season 14 is basically a celebration, so we’ll skip that, but keep in mind Meta vs. Carolina, it’ll be important later.

Season 15 is basically an attempt to revive the series. Maybe a documentary on prior pro players, and how people might try to exploit them, or how people may have lost their streaming careers to some of the players humiliating them, but that’s a stretch. There is no real tie to gaming here, or during this arc. This is where the whole thing starts declining. A lack of actually tying it to a gaming trope arguably makes it much more different than the previous seasons.

So, where does RvB0 stand in all this? Well, it is a bit of a return to form by being a previous pro player wanting to get a new squad, but having to now adapt to a new team.

But the way we’re introduced to them is jarring. This isn’t some episode of DEATH BATTLE. We should get to know who these characters are by their interactions with one another, their dialogue, and their actions. But let’s take a look at what gaming stereotypes we’re working with here. we already covered Florida, and the Director is basically these guys’ sponsor who basically caused all of what happened. Carolina is the streamer who gets mad at losing her top rank, York is the nice guy who probably helped set up other peoples’ streaming equipment and is just a friendly guy to be around in general, South and North are what happens when someone gets a rare item from a lootbox and the other doesn’t, etc.

Shatter Squad, is unfortunately, a lot of repeat gamer stereotypes.

West is basically the dad who is an ex-pro trying to make sure his team succeeds, like Florida.

One is the competitive pro who doesn’t like having her top spot challenged, like Carolina.

Axel is the resident Cool Guy™ whose exploits are told by anecdote or flashback. Similar to Tucker, except minus the sex jokes. Or maybe he’s like Wash, in the sense that he’s an ex-pro who got out of the game but keeps being dragged back into it by other circumstances (maybe financial).

East is the new player, much like Caboose. She thankfully is different enough by way of being the stream mole who helps out the other team by sabotaging the team she’s a part of.

And Raymond is the guy who thinks that all his tech and equipment will give him an edge over his opponents, much like most of the Freelancers who had an A.I.

The action is actually good, except for one scene. The scene where East (temporarily) kills Tucker.

Like… Torrian. Torrian. Meta vs. Carolina is my favorite episode of season 3 aside from Hulk vs. Doomsday, and you have him go down to a dagger? You pretty much animated an epic fight scene with all the Reds and Blues in the RvB0 advertisement that really should have been Tucker vs. Jaune as a means of joint advertising- I’m getting off topic here.

The new characters are also a point of some good and some bad. Obviously, you can only do so much with the OG characters until it becomes stale. This is why Dragon Ball is starting to get boring. It’s also why Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is still going strong. But trying to diversify the cast isn’t going to go well with a lot of the original audience. The most progressive thing the Blood Gulch Chronicles did was have Church challenge Simmons’ stereotypical comments regarding Donut. Change won’t go over so well with the audience.

In addition, the passing of Tucker’s sword to another character wasn’t going to go over so well without a big fight scene over the sword. Again, Torrian: YOU MADE Balrog vs. TJ Combo, All Might vs. Might Guy, and Blake vs. Mikasa. Out of everyone on that team, you of all people would have been more than qualified to animate a cool fight sequence that would showcase Tucker stopping East from just stabbing him. I know that the research is left to other people, but one of the big things about the characters is that they tanked a bomb worth a few dozen megatons of TNT… And Tucker goes down… To a dagger.

The fight sequences of RvB0 are great. I’ll say that much. But after every fight, I fully expected Wiz and Boomstick to come in and explain why the fight went down the way it did. Though, that may be due to me actually being interested in RT because of DEATH BATTLE… For better or for worse…

The dialogue wasn’t that great though. A lot of the humor falls flat, and the only joke I legitimately laughed at was when a member of Shatter Squad (One IIRC) responded to Carolina’s bold and serious declaration of “We have to save Lavernious Tucker” with “Who’s Tucker?” This is a series where the comedy comes from dialogue. So slapstick and physical humor don’t land as much, and the whole thing of them making reference to their situation doesn’t let a joke land as well as it could.

People are used to the head bobs of prior seasons, so the expressive gestures is super jarring and actually makes dialogue harder because you have to accompany it with the gestures. The limitation of what they had in season 1-5 is what led to innovation. Limits are how you make something extraordinary. So the freedom of actual gestures makes the overall product feel less like RvB and more like Torrian‘s equivalent of RWBY. He wanted to make a bunch of cool fight scenes. Which like… He had the perfect place to do that: DBX. Want a character who can generate a clone and uses a bladed weapon to fight? Uh, Noob Saibot is right there. You could have him fight… I don’t know, maybe Shadow Jago? They both utilize darkness, it would be fun.

Regardless, I honestly hope that wherever Torrian takes his talents, that he’s going in a place that he likes and that can keep him and his family comfortable.

RvB0: It’s a mess, it hardly really connects back to the OG Reds and Blues, and while the new characters breathe a new life into the series that was sorely needed, it probably wasn’t what people expected. This changing of the guard type of story doesn’t really work when the previous guard doesn’t pass down the mantle.

Also, Carolina constantly calling Wash by his real name just feels like some random pandering. It used to be special that you didn’t know what the real names of the Freelancers was, but the constant use of it just feels like something to just be there to constantly use.

But hey, if you liked it, more power to you.

[malgal7777]

Hiking with Tracy 2021:  Put it on the board...YES!

I did it!!!!   Woo-Hoo!  I walked 100 miles - almost in the whole month of April.  Since the last weekend of April was a bit of a snow bust, I had to finish my 100 miles this past weekend 5/1-5/2!  And what a way to finish...

I was feeling defeated last week when I wasn’t able to complete the 100 miles up in Tahoe.  I ended up being 17 miles short!  Can you believe that?  17 miles!! And I have a friend, let’s just call him “Barry” who was going to give me the whole $1000 if I was able to do it.  So I really felt down knowing I had blown it.  Blown all that training and blown it for the Ride4Reason fundraiser.  But “Barry” said hey, finish it up this weekend and you’re still in the running.  So I went back to the drawing board to find another route that would push me over the finish line.  But it was Bob who suggested I hike San Francisco.  AND, if I hiked SF, he would be encouraged to join me.  Bob’s a city slicker.  If he goes too far from being able to purchase a newspaper out of a metal box, he gets hives.  So, we mapped out a 10-12 mile route (I had to go easy on the guy) starting from the Ferry Building and walking the circumference of the SF peninsula to Ocean Beach.  It was FAN-TAS-TIC!  WOW.  Just WOW. 

We started at Justin Herman Plaza and since it was May Day we were hoping to find a rally or march happening.  And in perfect SF fashion, we were not disappointed!  Sure enough a large rally was gearing up to head down Market.  I’m going to assume the march was for workers rights, but it was actually unclear to us what their message was.  Not a good sign for a march/rally!

This first stretch of The Embarcadero was a bit sad.  Covid and the lockdowns have definitely taken their toll.  I know it was early and a weekend, but a lot of these businesses are still shuttered and closed.  And there’s a couple of homeless encampments taking over the street car kiosks.  The homeless.  Sooner or later I have to go there.  I can spout my love for California all I want, but it’s California’s biggest shame.  It’s no longer a skeleton in the closet, it’s all out in the open for all to see.  And I have no answer for it.  It’s always been here, since I’ve been here.  And it definitely has gotten A LOT worse within the past 10 years.  And it’s not just one issue, it’s the perfect storm of multiple issues coming together:  not enough affordable housing;  not enough livable wages; mental instability; drug addiction; nomad living lifestyle - yes that’s a thing.  I don’t think California is doing nothing.  There’s just too many people.  And you can’t just throw them in jail or put them onto a bus to make someone else’s problem - like other regional areas have done, there has to be some compassion and humanity.  But these encampments are not humane.  They are breeding grounds for disease and despair.  What does that say about you as you walk on by?  Trying to ignore the garbage and filth these people are living amongst.  But I have no answer.  I don’t even know where to begin to help these people.  So for the time being, I’m going to continue to stick my head in the sand and hope that California will rise to the challenge and find some solution, sooner rather than later. 

The Embarcadero curves around and leads you to the touristy part of the city...Fisherman’s Wharf.  I personally hate this part of town.  It’s just too much:  too many people; too many lame chain restaurants;  too many cheesy chotchkie stores.  My parents on the other hand love it.  When they come to town all they want to do is come to Pier 39 and Alcatraz.  My dad would live on Alcatraz if he could.  One of these days I just may lock him in one of the cells.  Today though, things were different.  I loved seeing that Alcatraz tours are once again up & running.  AND not a lot of people yet...wink wink wink...for those of you who've tried to go but weren’t able to get a reservation.  It was early, so the area was just coming alive. The street vendors setting up their wares or street performers getting into character. Then there’s the abundance of colors of all the flashy stores and restaurants.  The sounds of the sea lions barking at the tourists watching them.  The marina with the famous “Rocket Boat!”  I was digging it.  Fisherman’s Wharf also has some great views of Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge.  It wasn’t so horrible.  Bob showed me Scoma’s restaurant, a tiny seafood restaurant that’s been here for years and is supposed to be pretty darn good.  There’s even a chapel for the local fishermen.  Then of course there’s Musee Mecanique.  A museum of antique slot machines, animations, coin operated pianos and the like.  It’s pretty cool and I believe most of the games are still functioning, so you can play.  Unfortunately it is also closed because of the pandemic.  You can donate to help keep it open though.  Just go to https://museemecanique.com.  

Then we hit Aquatic Park. An interesting cove at the West end of Fisherman’s Wharf.  This is where crazy people swim in the freezing waters of the bay, most without wet suits.  On this cold, windy morning we found a group of children being taught how to acclimate their bodies to the water so they can grow up to be crazy people.  Horrible way to spend a Saturday if you ask me!  

We continued to go around Aquatic Park and up and around to Fort Mason. There’s a great trail that we’ve never taken that gives you an even better view of the GG bridge and Fort Mason below.  And once you get on the other side, you’re in local land of OZ!  Where the curtain is pulled back and the locals are enjoying the real SF.  Now for those tourists who spend their whole time at Fisherman’s Wharf and The Embarcadero, more power to you.  Just don’t say you’ve been to San Francisco.  Because you haven’t.  Once you get over the hump, one of my favorite scenes of SF...the buildings.  Squat, square homes of multiple pastel colors rolling like waves along the hills of San Francisco.  In other areas of the city, the hills are rolling with colorful victorians.  The colors are what I love best about San Francisco.  

It was here that I realized I was hiking with Cher.  We had to make yet another stop so Bob could make a wardrobe change.  It’s also kind of a production with him narrating what he’s doing.  I got to hear all about the ins and outs of why he rolls his flannel rather than fold.  Why he’ll wait to take off the thermal leggings.   Where to put his first UO sticker. Yada, Yada, Yada.  Good thing he’s pretty cute.  As he was changing, we noticed a statue of an older man in a suit but no plaque telling visitors who he is.  I thought he looked like Rodney Dangerfield.  But why would anyone put up a statue of Rodney Dangerfield in SF?  That would be the ultimate “no respect” though, a statue but no plaque.  Ends up it’s a guy named Phil Burton.  He was a US Congressman from California who is responsible for 87,000 acres of the SF Bay Area being designated as a National Park. I was basically ending my hike in a National Park thanks to this man.  He deserves a plaque god damnit!

So once you pass Fort Mason, you are now in the Marina district.  It’s where Cal Berkeley students go after they graduate. They mutate here on the hollowed grounds of Crissy Field.  Like yuppy gremlins. Working out or drinking Philz Coffee.  The homes along Crissy Field are gorgeous. Huge picture windows with a front row seat to the Golden Gate Bridge.  Each one is architecturally different and once again, the colors!  Beautiful. The only downside was the wind.  It was pretty darn windy along this stretch.  But Bob had his windbreaker and I had my knit cap.  I can endure the wind if I have my ears covered. 

It’s a long stretch from Crissy Field to the Presidio.  The old barracks of the Presidio on one side and the entrance of the Bay on the other.  The GG Bridge is the main attraction here.  It’s majestic. Great time to get over there.  Parking was plenty and not a bad way to have a picnic. There’s a climbing gym, a trampoline park and under the bridge is Fort Point.  I have been here before, took my parents.  I was able to slyly divert their attention from the bells and whistles of Fisherman’s Wharf with the chance to view history!  They are suckers for historical buildings.  And Fort Point is a National Historical Site.  It was built during the Civil War in 1861.  It’s been awhile so I don’t remember too many of the details, but definitely worth a visit.  

Now we began our assent to the Jewel of this hike...The Golden Gate Bridge.  It’s a National Icon and San Francisco’s mascot.  As you climb the hill and get closer to the bridge there are a bunch of tunnels and “hide outs” along the way.  Remnants of the military presence that once dominated San Francisco.  But the absolutely coolest thing about this hike was I had NO IDEA you can actually walk underneath the bridge itself...like right below the huge steel red frame!!  It’s literally a wind tunnel, so hold onto your hat!  But super duper cool!!  If you have any engineers or construction people in your circle, this would be a great spot to bring them.  

As you continue around the bend, you come to Baker’s Beach.  Not sure if it’s still a nude beach, but it used to be.  The unfortunate thing about nude beaches is the people who SHOULDN’T be nude are the first ones to get into their birthday suit. But that’s my problem, not theirs!  Some nice trails along this stretch, but nothing too exciting to report.

We soon came upon the neighborhood Sea Cliff.  Now this is where the really rich people live.  Like Robin Williams had a home here;  Nancy Pelosi I think lives here.  Mansions with a view of the Pacific.  Bob & I had to walk through right?  I am happy to report the other half live very well.  I stopped to smell the roses (literally) but I noticed that all the gardens actually smelled horrible.  The fertilizer was strong here.  Bob & I laughed that that was how they kept the riff-raff away, by surrounding their homes with a shit moat.  Worked for us!  We high tailed it out of there.  

Now we came to our last stretch...Land’s End.  A labyrinth of trails along the coastal edge.  We needed to stop for another wardrobe change.  This time his leggings were going back on.  Which meant he needed to get down to his underwear.  Let’s just say a whole group of people got a little more than they were expecting that day!

Finally we made it to Sutro Baths and the Cliff House!  Fantastic!  Unfortunately the Cliff House closed due to the pandemic and is not reopening.  I cannot imagine this space will be closed for long.  Fingers crossed.  We decided to head down to Ocean Beach and end our hike by having lunch at the Park Chalet.  We were both famished and Bob was getting cranky.  Needed to feed him STAT.  I have more to report here but Bob might get mad at me, so if you see him again, just ask him about our new friend Franklin!  

BTW, Sunday I did my final 4-5 miles back at my MacArthur Trail.  I brought Stella this time and she loved it.  It was as fabulous as ever!

I’m still going to hike y’all and write about it.  So check in to see where I go next.  I enjoyed writing my thoughts and feelings down.  Even if nobody reads it, it’s my journal to this wonderful life I’ve been blessed with.  Why not tell the world!

Thank You to all who have donated to the Ride4Reason fundraiser and have endured reading these ramblings.  But, That’s All Folks!  (for now).  xoxox

[far-off-flower-fields]

Weird Questions that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups!

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? We call elementary school primary school. It depended which teachers you asked, my favourites always said I was “conscientious, kind, and a pleasure to have in class”.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Glass cups or bottles.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? I have like 4 looks, pastel, boho, and goth/witchy/grunge, also vintage-inspired which wasn’t mentioned but I love it.

7. earbuds or headphones? Depends on the shape, I love my Razr headset because it doesn’t squash my ears, and I like galaxy bud shaped earbuds, the ones with the little rubber doo-dads that fit actually in your ear. Apple or a lot of older flat earbuds cause me a lot of pain.

8. movies or tv shows? TV shows. Movies are getting longer and longer and my focus is getting shorter and shorter

9. favorite smell in the summer? Rainy days!

10. game you were best at in p.e.? The game of queue-ducking (where you go to the back of the queue to avoid your turn), or dance, or the less strength intensive parts of gymnastics. Or crying, always been great at that xD

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Muesli, or nothing.

12. name of your favorite playlist? I prefer to listen to full albums rather than playlists, but I have a few favourites on Spotify. Born to Run 150BPM, Infinite Indie Folk, Irish Folk: Jigs and Reels, All Out 80s/90s/00s. I also love scene/pop-punk playlists.

13. lanyard or key ring? Key Ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Message Hearts (or anything with that texture), the red pack of starbursts (the UK version is vegan). Does Turkish Delight count because if so then that is my fave. I also like gummies if they’re vegan.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? To Kill a Mockingbird (high school), or The Bloody Chamber (uni), or Hamlet (uni)

16. most comfortable position to sit in? One foot under me, the other foot out to the other side, but both in the same position (if the surface is flat), or knees up.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? I own a lot of shoes so there isn’t really a single pair I wear the most. Recently my Air Force 1s, I’m trying to wear them in because the previous owner didn’t so the cause blisters.

18. ideal weather? Cold, overcast, rainy, still. Or without the rain. or snow (as long as I’m not going in the car and I can go crunch my shoes in it xD

19. sleeping position? Either side, but my body is kinda rotated towards the bed so it’s like half way between on my stomach and on my side. 

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Notebooks

21. obsession from childhood? Animals, dinosaurs, goddesses, magic, crystals, neopets, sims. I still love all of these things, I am a rotating door of obsessions, usually a bunch of the same obsessions on repeat.

22. role model? I don’t have one particular role model, I do have tons of people that I love and respect.

23. strange habits? I have so many strange habits that I have become one myself. Nothing actually stands out though because 99% of it is because of my brain.

24. favorite crystal? rose quartz or moonstone.

25. first song you remember hearing? Maybe Dancing Queen by ABBA, definitely the first I remember dancing to, but my dad loves music so I grew up with a constant stream of it.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Suffer xD when I’m able to do so comfortably I’d love to go out looking for pretty stones, and nice sticks with my fiance, also would like to go on picnics with him, or a friend if I had one.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Baking, drawing, crafts, standing in the rain. Everything.

28. five songs to describe you? 6/10 - Dodie Robert Frost - Mal Blum Caught in the Middle - Paramore Side Effects - Jade Bird Snitches Get Stitches - Onsind  Bonus track: The Seed - Aurora I wish I still had the playlist I made of songs I relate to, several of these were on it though.

29. best way to bond with you? Oversharing, or telling me about things you’re into.

30. places that you find sacred? Nature. My favourite spots are little creeks/rivers in wooded areas, but just like, all of it is special and should be treated as such. Also bedrooms.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I think maybe I’m not gutsy or whatever enough, but also unpredictable. I wear whatever I like, and I’m just as likely to cry in all of them as I am to accidentally get in a fight.

32. top favorite vines? I feel so basic because I never really did the vine thing.  There was one that nearly killed me because I literally started to choke that was in some kind of office and the bit like can you run this past me again, and they just fucking legged it past them holding a folder up, Saw it once, never saw it again. Road work ahead. Why you can’t lift a house (might be a tok?) Brass dad and oven kid Look at this graaaaph Never learned how to read I can’t sit I have hemorrhoids The one with the people in blankets bobbing the nana nanana song Fr esh avo ca do Look at all these chickens

33. most used phrase in your phone? I love you - if I had to guess

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? right now, nothing. I often get the old Super Liquor jingle lodged in there though.

35. average time you fall asleep? 6am?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Charlie the unicorn or that one Noodles video by Cyanide and Happiness. Are those even memes?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Depends. I mostly use a bag though since I never go anywhere for long.

38. lemonade or tea? Tea? Usually if you ask for lemonade here you get Sprite which is not lemonade.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? I had a vegan lemon meringue pie once, so good. Cake is easier to make though, and I can eat more in one sitting without getting sick xD

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Um, the principal in my last year of school got caught for being a peeping tom a few years after I left.

41. last person you texted? My Fiance.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Depends on the rest of the outfit and the weather. I wear Jean jackets most though.

44. favorite scent for soap? I love lavender, or vanilla/candy/fruity/baked goods type scents. I still have a bottle of Sugar Fairy spray from lush from a year ago and I love the smell of that.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy I think.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Nekkid?

47. favorite type of cheese? As a kid it was feta. Now I only eat vegan cheese. I was never a huge cheese fan tbh.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Rotten xD um probably a cranberry or something because I’m small, and I’m not a fan of cranberry.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? An it harm none do what you will. Or treat others as you wish to be treated.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Probably one of the vines I listed above, either “run it past” or “can’t lift a house” because both of those resulted in crying and choking.

51. current stresses? My cat has been throwing up and having diarrhoea the past week or so, she’s been to the vet, it got better for a bit, but tonight suddenly got worse. Living with my parents who I have a very toxic relationship with. Living in a single very overfilled room. Trying to not spend money so that I can save up to move next year. Nightmares about my trauma. Either the house is haunted or there’s a build up of negative energy (probably that).

52. favorite font? I always liked the look of all of the script style fonts (freestyle, french, lucida, lucida calligraphy, Edwardian, Palace) but they’re not accessible so for anything people will actually see (which is literally nothing) I always go with arial.

53. what is the current state of your hands? Slight rash on one finger because I’m sensitive to what is in a lot of hand washing products apparently (never an issue until the pandemic), one broken finger nail that is a bit shorter than the rest. Not painted nails because energy. I always wear my engagement ring, usually I wear several other rings but with how my skin is being I thought I’d better not for a while.

54. what did you learn from your first job? Bakeries are hell, my circadian rhythm will not adjust to anything besides its natural state for longer than a couple of days at a time no matter how long or hard I try. I can absolutely fall asleep standing up.

55. favorite fairy tale? Ugly Duckling

56. favorite tradition? I don’t have anyway... Yet? Hopefully when I move this can become a thing.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? I’m interpretting overcome loosely here, meaning “I have not died from this” - Suicide of my first love - Bullying - 3 different jobs that all nearly killed me

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Literally can’t think of one. I’m not talented. I’m passable at a couple of things, but I worked for those things and I’m still not good enough for anyone to confuse me for being talented xD Those things I care about that I’ve worked on a lot are singing, art, languages, crafts? I still struggled to come up with 4. My bad.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Aw jeez xD

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Magical Girl! This is an easy one, give me the powers and the clothes yessss.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Literally sitting here drawing a blank, so instead of favourite here is the first one that came into my head “eyes are the genitals of the head” (may have that wrong, I’m watching the Office for the first time rn)

62. seven characters you relate to? Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Amelie from Amelie Matilda from Matilda Quasimodo from the Hunchback of Notredame (also my favourite plush as a kid) Iris - The Holiday Jess - New Girl Amelia Shepherd - Grey’s Anatomy Struggled with this because suddenly I drew a blank and also couldn’t remember who my Fiance was talking about every time he’s watched a character and said “that’s you” repeatedly.

63. five songs that would play in your club? Starlight - Superman Lovers Pump It - Black Eyed Peas I Bet that You Look Good on the Dancefloor - Arctic Monkeys All the Things She Said - tATu Doctor Jones - Aqua Bonus: Push Up - Freestylers These are ones  I have memories of dancing to when I was younger so that’s how I picked, but I’d absolutely be a themed night club with different music on different nights.

64. favorite website from your childhood? Neopets, which I still play daily. The first I played was MaMaMedia, then Bubblegum Club.

65. any permanent scars? That’s a SORE subject heh get it heh

66. favorite flower(s)? Lavender, rose, peony

67. good luck charms? I usually carry gemstones if I’m needing to be particularly lucky, or sigils.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? I hate anything spicy. I had rootbeer candy that tasted like literal dirt. I can’t eat banana stuff without gagging and getting a headache. I hate anything that is artificial blackberry or blackcurrant, tastes like shitty cough syrup.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Sea Monkeys breathe through their feet, but I remember where I learned that.

70. left or right handed? right

71. least favorite pattern? depends entirely on the colours, I like patterns. but certain stripes do make my eyes feel funny.

72. worst subject? If PE counts, then that. If not, math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? I love pineapple on pizza but that’s not weird. Iused to eat cheese and jam sandwiches as a kid though.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I operate on how long it has lasted instead of how bad it is, essentially I get so desperate so I’ll try it even though it probably won’t help. I have the resistance of a rhino to most meds.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? No idea, like 4 I think? I did keep them in a weird little box for no reason though because they never got taken away from under my pillow.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I’m a fan of a good mash if it has lots of flavour (like gravy). Otherwise, crisps or fries.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I grew a radish once! Something cat safe though these days, also maybe something heavy, and hard to knock over?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Grocery Store sushi, if it’s just veg.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? My only ID is my passport, and it is BAD.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Both.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies (ten million of them to be precise)

82. pc or console? Grew up with PC. Now play my switch mostly.

83. writing or drawing? Both. Wrote more as a kid, draw more now.

84. podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Both. But I prefered pollies as a kid

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? cupcakes

87. your greatest fear? Based on my nightmares, stairs.

88. your greatest wish? To live in a comfy house, in the country, with my Fiance, I have travelled the world, we have pets, I can function, we are free.

89. who would you put before everyone else? My Fiance and out animals.

90. luckiest mistake? Can’t think of any, most of my mistakes have been more like bad choices, also never turned out well for me.

91. boxes or bags? Depends what it’s for?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? lamps, or fairy lights. Unless I’m particularly anxious, then overheads.

93. nicknames? None.

94. favorite season? Winter

95. favorite app on your phone? LINE, it has my fiance, and animated stickers.

96. desktop background? Little Twin Stars

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? My own.

I never get asks and needed to distract myself so I’m going to just answer these anyway, like a survey or something. Original post by tr33-g1rl 

[fredseibertdotcom]

“When in doubt, count!” 

My mentor Dale Pon didn’t get much public recognition for his smart, strategic and successful creative work in media promotion. I’m posting about a few projects I was lucky to work on with him.

Scott Webb sent along this advertising campaign Dale Pon created on the cusp of the 1979/80 era of WNBC Radio in New York City. Bob Pittman, Scott, and I recount our view of it below, and I’ll update as more come in from other colleagues. 

There have been countless lessons I learned from Dale Pon about promotion and marketing, but the one that has stuck with me most is...

“When in doubt, count!”

Sounds pretty boring and I thought Dale was a creative guy. Count, like “4 out of 5 dentists recommend Crest”? Really, that’s a good solution?

But Dale’s point of view was the numbers can always point you to a creative solution that can work if you use them as a jumping off point. Basically, as you’re trying to figure out a pitch, a unique selling proposition for a campaign, if you get stuck, look at the numbers. It’s an idea that so pervasive that our mutual co-worker Bob Pittman has even started a podcast on the principal called “Math & Magic.”

To me, this maxim was often how to do a lot with a little, but it didn’t become super clear to me how “counting” could lead to anything useful until I saw it in amazing action back at the beginning of our relationship in the late 1970s.

Fred Seibert:  In 1977, Dale Pon had hired me at WHN in New York City, moved me to Los Angeles and back again. He’d successfully and ____ promoted WHN into the 2nd most listened to country music station in American –remember this station was in New York, home to Frank Sinatra, not Johnny Cash– and I was his lackey,

In early 1979  Dale abandoned me. He went to a New York radio competitor, telling me that not only could I run the WHN promotion department –a job for which I had virtually no experience other than my short stint with him. (“Hey, you produced a jazz record that got a Grammy nomination, you can be good at this too.” Really?) He’d been whisked away by WNBC, a relative ratings laggard, home to Imus in the Morning, run by veteran Bob Sherman and upstart program director Bob Pittman. Sherman’s public goal? “Beat WABC!, which had been New York's #1 station for decades.”

“Oh, I need you to help me produce the TV campaign. If WHN finds out and fires you, I’ll bring you over.” 

Oh great.

Next thing I know Dale’s whipped out the latest New York Arbitron radio ratings books and hands one to me. “Go to every demographic page and circle WNBC. Let’s see what’s what.”

A half hour later I said, “You’re fucked. At best they’re #14 in the prime demos.”

“Here!” he points, “They’re #2!!” It was something like Adult men 35-49. 

I was confused. The group that advertisers wanted was Adults 18-49, maybe on a stretch Adults 25-49. What the hell?!

“We’ll note the demo in the mouse type at the bottom. No one will notice!”

No one will notice?!

Within an hour Dale had sketched out the pitch. A take off on a successful Avis Car Rental campaign.

“We’re #2, we want to be #1! WNBC Radio 66!” 

Before I knew it, Dale had WNBC putting out a call to it’s listeners to send in  Polaroids of any twins who listened for a potential casting in commercials.

Huh, twins? “We’re #2.” Twins. OK, he’s got a creative idea. 

Soon enough, he had me coming to an audio studio after work to moonlight the soundtracks for the campaigns. (WHN never caught on, and I stayed until I want to MTV Networks.)

“Twice as many winnas!*** Twice as many prizes!! Twice as many chances to win!!!” 

And you know? The damned thing worked like crazy. When in doubt, count. Indeed. 

***Remember, we were in New Yawk City. You know, that accent.

Bob Pittman: “...being bold; getting attention; and dominating the airwaves…” 

In addition to my time working with Dale Pon when he created ‘I Want My MTV’ for us in the very early days of MTV and when he helped me relaunch Six Flags Theme Parks, Dale was a lifelong friend and was my partner in building WNBC Radio in the late 70s.

We had completely rebuilt the programming and brought Don Imus back to WNBC from Cleveland, and Dale used the Imus return to help build the huge cume for the radio station and lead WNBC to its eventual position as number one.  WNBC went from an old, staid, second-rate New York radio station to the number one radio station through building the right  programming; Don Imus was the anchor and nighttime disc jockey Alan Beebe’s introduction of ‘WNNNNNBC’ gave the station its unique hooks. Dale took those  – and the rest is history.

Dale taught us all about having a clear and valued claim; being bold; getting attention; and dominating the airwaves with frequency.  Although he may not have won awards for his creativity, it worked time and time again and those of us who adopted his philosophies had that same kind of success in other businesses at other times.  But make no mistake about it – it was Dale’s influence that got us there.

Scott Webb: “...creativity was about problem solving and winning...” 

I got an internship working for Dale Pon two days a week at WNBC Radio during last 3 months of my senior year at Sarah Lawrence College. There were 3 other interns and mostly we made sure that content winners got their prizes and that all the promotions were administered properly. 

There were A LOT of contests and giveaways. 

I had never worked at a radio station before and I just assumed this level of promotion fervor was standard operating procedure. The station was based on the 2nd floor of 30 Rock and at the time it seemed glamorous. I was in line with David Letterman at the cafeteria and Saturday Night Life was rehearsing on the 8th floor and Tom Snyder was in the office down the hall. 

Dale’s office was the dead center of the office when you walked in the door. He ran the team like it was a barroom in the middle of a battlefield. He was loud and always barking out orders. It was stressful and fun. On the last day of our internship we were given T-Shirts that read “I survived Dale Pon”. I, for one, was afraid to put it on - for fear of what his reaction might be - but also because I didn’t want it to end. 

A few weeks later, after he abruptly fired one of his managers he hired me on the spot to join his battalion, er I mean, team. We went to work on the TV advertising campaign that would take WNBC from #2 to #1 in the NYC market. 

We put a call out for twins and cast dozens of twins to kiss Imus. Shooting that campaign was the first production I had ever been part of and it was fast and furious and Dale took me to almost every meeting and along the way from storyboarding with the cinematographer to instructing the animator to directing sound and even buying the air time. 

I didn’t know it but I was getting a master class in creative strategy that was all about winning. It was not just fun – it was a mission to transform what had been a shitty, demoralized loser of radio station to being totally made over into an unstoppable #1 radio station. 

When the dust settled WABC, formerly #1 gave up completely and changed their format from music to News and Talk. An outcome that blew me away at the time. I thought Dale would be happy at the utter defeat he delivered to his competitor but he hated that they never took the bait to respond to his challenge. He wanted a worthy adversary but he never got it. They ran. 

It was the most stressful and wonderful time of my life and it was impossible to not be fascinated by everything Dale did. He was a great teacher and often just told me to sit close to him and just watch everything he did. He taught me how to see and how to think and to understand that creativity was about problem solving and winning. Thank you Dale.

[ducktracy]

126. the blow out (1936)

release date: april 4th, 1936

series: looney tunes

director: tex avery

starring: joe dougherty (porky), lucille laverne (bomber)

this is a cartoon i’ve been looking forward to reviewing for quite awhile—it’s certainly one of my favorite dougherty-era porkys. well, to begin, this is porky’s first solo cartoon! not a beans in sight (sorry, beans!). tex’s first interpretation of porky was a bloated, ravenous father who screams “WHOOPEE” a lot. now, he’s characterized as a cute, naïve kid, a role he’d make up in the large majority of tex’s porky cartoons. even as far as 1941, porky’s age is mentioned to be 7 years old in tex’s porky’s preview. also worth noting that the bomber is voiced by lucille laverne, who you may recognize as the evil queen from snow white just a year later. in terms of sunopsis: a hungry porky longs for an ice cream soda, yet he’s short on money. however, his prayers may be answered as he finds out doing favors for people earns him a quick buck. his biggest favor of all—returning a bomb to a mad bomber.

menacing music underscores an overhead shot of a local building. a sinister laugh offscreen is brought on by a mysteriously cloaked figure, who placed an alarm clock in front of the building. the figure darts away, the clock ticking forebodingly as a trail of smoke pours out of it. and, of course, BOOM. newspaper headlines pour in (with a keen eye, you’ll spot that they’re addressed to podunk journal, podunk express, etc etc) detailing the bomber’s acts, one newspaper gloating a $2,000 reward if captured. all the cop cars are called, phone lines and telegram wires burning up as the search for the bomber ravages on.

police sirens wail in the distance as a shot of a dingy old alley pans to an exposed basement window. zoom into the pitch black darkness, the same sinister laugh from before piercing our ears as a bat flies into view. the pans are very well thought out and well structured as we pan through the basement, finally getting a good glimpse of the bomber, hard at work.

if i had to make a guess, i’d estimate chuck jones does the closeup of the bomber making his time bombs (chuck liked to play around with shadows, and there’s a sinister shadow behind the bomber at work—it also aligns with his style, and he even gets an animation credit. i can identify the bob clampett scenes with certainty, his style really sticks out to me). lucille laverne provides a great, obnoxious, sinister voice... as she should, since she was probably recording for snow white around the same time. “a clock, a little dynamite, a black bomb, a few firecrackers, some lovely skyrockets, and ya have a little time bomb that will blow up a CITY!”

the bomber masks himself, draping himself in his black cloak and donning his hat. he does your stereotypical villain walk, covering his face—i love me a tex avery villain. almost always a very obvious parody. everything with tex is to be laughed at, to be funny, to be made fun of. the bomber ponders where he’ll strike next, scanning a city map. he circles off a random area, crossing over it for good measure, and he furtively creeps out into the street, ready to strike.

elsewhere, porky is deeply invested in an ice cream parlor, his face pressed against the window. a sign advertises an ice cream soda for 10 cents. inside, we get a good look at the frothy goodness as an offscreen waiter places a straw inside. another offscreen hand grabs the drink, and we’re met with porky’s smiling, hungry face, eagerly observing as the offscreen customer slurps away. porky’s face quickly turns crestfallen, and soon he’s frowning at an empty glass.

however, he’s undeterred. porky reaches into his pocket (literally just his own flesh, a reoccurring detail that i just adore) and pulls out five pennies, narrating “five pennies! just enough for an ice cream soda!” he struts confidently into the parlor with his outstretched hand, a lovely score of “fella with the fiddle” (his theme for this cartoon, also the name of a merrie melody and also whistled by porky as he gives a camel a bath in little beau porky) backing him up. he marches to the counter and asks “one ice cream soda, please!” unfortunately, the offscreen waiter has to break the news—“too bad, sonny. you only have half enough pennies for a soda.”

porky’s grin melts immediately as he dejectedly trudges away, hands in his “pockets”. suddenly, inspiration strikes, and our little haggler zips back to the counter, bargaining “well, how about a half of one, then?” still a no. having exhausted every option, porky mopes on the sidewalk. a passerby drops his cane, and porky halfheartedly returns it to him, not even realizing he’s done anything. the man offscreen expresses his gratitude by offering a penny to porky.

suddenly, porky snaps his head to the sweet copper that lies before him in an outstretched hand. he eagerly accepts the penny (“oh boy! a penny!”). bob clampett animates his little jig as he does a dance, throwing the coin up in the air, whirling around just in time to catch it in his back “pocket”. a reoccurring gag that’s funny every time, perfectly and sardonically capturing his glee. he rubs his hands together, scheming, almost making a “grinch face” (chuck jones will provide many a grinch face in his cartoons, as he should) as the gears turn. doing favors = money = ice cream.

thus launches a favor spree. tex’s strong sense of timing furthers the potential of porky’s motives and transforms a mundane idea into something hilarious and likable. who doesn’t want to see him get his soda? porky rushes in just in time to hand a woman her fallen glove, and sure enough she repays him. another penny earned, another jig performed. any subtlety at porky’s desire to earn cash is quickly dropped as he puts on his best “cute” pose, pulling in his body and closing his eyes like the dickens he is, putting out his hand. more subtlety lost, more eagerness gained as porky literally rockets forward at super speed to reunite a woman and her wallet. another victory jig. just as things couldn’t be any brighter, porky finds a nickel on the ground. a whole five cents, just what he needed! as he’s about to bend over, a scottie dog zooms forward and snags the coin, flashing porky a toothy grin and tipping his hat before walking away. porky simply stares back in bewilderment and grief.

now, we pan back to the dingy, dark alleys as a familiar snicker rings out once more. the bomber creeps around the sidewalk, hiding behind the “blotz building”. the coast clear, he sneers “here it goes!” as he turns the clock on, and foreboding ticking begins. he creeps forward, warily placing the bomb down at the front of the building. the bomber knows that his work is done as he hurries away.

what he DOESN’T know, however, is that he was a witness: a stuttering, chubby, porcine witness. porky is just tickled to see the bomber turn the corner. he scoops up the bomb, mistaking it for a regular clock, and approaches the bomber, who’s crouching behind the corner, eyes squeezed shut and ears plugged as he braces for impact. timing sharp as always as he slowly opens his eyes and spots porky holding the clock in front of him... and wastes no time screaming as he does a take. what a great juxtaposition—porky’s naïve oblivion, arms outstretched to return the clock like the good little civilian he is, and the harsh screech of the bomber as he recoils immediately, sinister and ugly and (relatively) smart.

a perfectly hilarious distance shot of the bomber making a break for it, zigzagging through the streets as poor little porky hobbles behind with such good intentions. i love that this is a precursor to tex’s droopy cartoons—largely relying on a little pest that follows you EVERYWHERE and is at every turn, no matter where you go (tex’s first droopy cartoon, dumb-hounded—which i highly recommend—is a glorified take on this cartoon). the bomber seeks refuge in a garage, sliding a door shut in front of porky. of course, porky pops in from the other end, proudly handing out the clock to the bomber who recoils once more and darts away.

the bomber scales a tedious amount of fire escapes, climbing to the top of a building, where he’s greeted by a familiar pig. back down the flights of stairs the bomber goes. laverne’s vocal characterization is side splittingly hilarious and obnoxious, and tex’s knack for humor and speed totally make this cartoon something great. it’s a basic plot, really, and could have been handled disastrously in the wrong hands (no offense to jack king, but i’m sure this cartoon wouldn’t have been half as funny or endearing if it were in his hands). porky greets him at the bottom, just completely clueless as to why this mysterious man keeps screaming “NO!!!!” at him. desperate, the bomber dives into a manhole.

you just can’t go wrong with this. the bomber creeps around in the dark, surely alone now. that little idiot couldn’t have possibly have crawled down in here. yet, a lit up sclera and the visible face of a clock (a clever creative decision that totally just sells the joke) prove him wrong once more. the bomber runs the opposite way in the darkness, and yet again he’s met with that stubbornly optimistic pig.

frantically, the bomber dives out of the manhole, diving into another, followed by porky. out once more, pinning the next manhole cover down so porky surely can’t escape. what he fails to notice is porky crawling out of another manhole in the foreground. instead, the bomber barricades the manhole cover with a traffic sign, snarling “now i’ll fix the little pest, so he’ll be blown to pieces!” porky is right next to him, both of them utterly clueless for different reasons. now, the villain whips towards the audience and sneers “WHETHER YOU PEOPLE LIKE IT OR NOT!” tex was famous for breaking the fourth wall for a reason. it works. similarly, a fourth wall breaking villain would be pivotal to the plot of tashlin’s the case of the stuttering pig.

porky latches onto the villain’s cloak, blankly staring at him wordlessly. he’s literally like a baby that will NOT stop looking at you, to the point of borderline uneasiness. it’s literally that, but amplified. and it just works out fantastically. the bomber is absolutely clueless to two things—his little parasite, and to the two police officers who recognize the bomber. police sirens scream, as does the villain. he runs as fast as he can, and porky holds on with an iron grip, just flailing along for the ride. a hilarious distance shot of porky flopping around behind the villain, the cops commenting “look, the kid’s got hold of him!” “yeah! the little fella’s got plenty a nerve to tackle a mug like that!”

thankfully for the bomber, the chase leads right into his hidey hole. he spends a great deal of time tediously locking a stack of doors, celebrating his victory. the coppers bang on the door as the villain barricades himself in, sneering at their futile efforts to get him out. great setup as his smile is quickly paralyzed, offscreen ticking growing louder. of course, pan over to reveal the unflappably optimistic porky beaming as he holds out the time bomb. the bomber throws aside his barricade and bursts out the door, diving straight into the police van.

porky rushes outside and drops the smoking clock inside the van where the bomber is locked up in. the cherry on top as porky facetiously poses, making a spectacle of himself as he coyly sticks out his hand and puts on his best innocent act. the car drives away... a bumpy ride ensues as fireworks explode one after the other, the car jumping and rocketing around.

back to porky, who’s still posing coyly for his earnings (now animated once more by clampett). a man says “here’s your reward!” as he drops a hefty sack of dough in porky’s palm. he buckled beneath the weight as he possesses $2,000 worth of coins in his grubby little hands. absolutely ecstatic as he tosses the bag into the air, doing his jig. the bag explodes on top of him and he’s covered in coins. a man walks up to him, paper and pencil in hand as he asks “what’re you gonna do with your reward, sonny?” porky inhales before launching into a quick, breathlessly excited “i’m gonna buy me—i’m gonna buy me—i’m gonna buy me—“

what else? he’s gonna buy him $2,000 worth of ice cream sodas, that’s what. porky slurps down soda after soda, a victorious “fella with the fiddle” blaring as an underscore. he pauses his feast to smile and wave at the audience—iris out as he sucks down more dairy goodness.

i love this cartoon, and this is my favorite cartoon we’ve seen so far. it’s such a feel good watch. is it stupid? absolutely. break it down and you’ve got porky running around for 4 minutes while a guy screams one word replies. yet it’s SO much more than that. porky’s personality in this short is more than all of the personality we’ve seen in the past 125 cartoons combined. he’s phenomenal (i may be biased since he’s tied for favorite with daffy, but...). tex perfectly captures his childish spirit. innocent, naïve, oblivious and bumbling, yet smart enough to know that if he can put on an act he can earn a quick buck or 2,000. timing is everything in this cartoon, and it works out just fine. the scenes never feel TOO tedious, though there are some that definitely lose just a little bit of their punch. not much, though. laverne’s deliveries are fantastically obnoxious. she definitely cheeses it up, and it certainly works in her favor. the villain is an obvious parody, and works exquisitely well as a foil against the brutally honest demeanor of porky’s. is this tex’s best? no, not at all. but it’s a memorable short that i always find myself coming back to, and it always puts a smile on my face. you DEFINITELY need to check this one out. it’s just too good!

link!

[0poole]

Some Retrospective Thoughts on Gen 7

Galar’s making me go nuts. You already know. Let’s look back on Alola because why not. I feel like I have stuff to say about it. Also, I just watched the last episode of the Alolan Anime, so there’s that.

Whenever I first think back to Gen 7, I think “Eh, it was alright. Nothing special, I guess.” The Pokemon were decent, apart from being almost universally slow, apart from like 3 speed demons, the starters weren’t much, the story was alright, the location was alright, etc. etc. 

Then, I ACTUALLY think back, and I realize… I have no idea why I was thinking that. This generation was actually amazing.

First of all, they finally put the motif of the Sun and Moon into game types. It’s definitely a breath of fresh air after they tried to use the fucking dimensions in 3D space for titles in Gen 6 (Loved that gen too, but seriously “Life” and “Death” would both be more fitting and not as strange. Maybe they don’t want “Death” as a title tho). Really fits in with how naturally themed everything is too, which is obviously for the best, since this is the most “natural” game to date. Even though we technically already had an America-based region in Unova, Hawai’i is so unique in its own right it definitely fits for a region. I’m usually the type who doesn’t like super overt themes in things, and kind of just wants a very generalized experience, but it’s probably for the good of everyone that they don’t actually follow through with that idea. 

Probably the biggest thing to come out of this generation is the new habit of them posting short little videos on Youtube revealing new Pokemon/features/etc. Obviously they were super trigger happy with them then, but now it seems they’ve taken a step back a little. I do love this idea, though, because it actually hypes me up more than anything else ever could. I remember before, even though I was kinda-sorta trying to follow the updates on Gens 4-6, I never really felt like I could, and even though I was going to get the games no matter what, now I realize I really want to know what I’m getting into. 

I remember exactly where I was for some of the major announcements. For the starters, I was in my high school geometry class, where I watched and re-watched that video dozens of times just so I could keep looking at them. I started off on Rowlet’s side of course, but once I realized he was getting all the attention and ol Popplio was getting basically none, I changed my allegiance and stayed there to this day. Ignoring the fact that I don’t really like any of the final evolutions enough to actually use them in game, I LOVE Popplio himself. It’s seriously a shame that he didn’t become some clown seal like everyone was speculating. Unlike how it seems, I really, really like “normal” clown characters (as in, not “horror” clowns), so he could’ve easily become one of my favorites in that case. Decidueye is definitely my favorite of the final forms, and Incineroar I think is still underrated. Sure, whatever, he’s bipedal, and it’s weirder than it otherwise would be, but for some reason I love how his mouth was an actual modeled mouth and not just an image slapped on there like most Pokemon. It really made him more expressive than the average Pokemon. Plus, the animation for Darkest Lariat is really cool, with his hands flashing against a flat back background for a second before actually doing the move. Even better, it’s great meme potential when hacked onto other Pokemon, like Wailord.

I don’t remember if Solgaleo and Lunala were introduced in that first trailer too, but either way I love both of them. I was a bit more drawn to Solgaleo at first, but Lunala has since grown to be one of my favorite legendaries of all. The starry wings, golden rims, and white skeleton-y body are such a great combo. And yeah, sure, Solgaleo would’ve been more fitting as a fire type or whatever, but since stars form the heavy metals that make it onto planets it’s fine. I won’t accept that Lunala should’ve been a dark type, though. The Moon is a major embodiment of light in the night sky, so if anything it shouldn’t be related to darkness. As for Necrozma, I love his base form a lot. It’s such a strange look, especially how the back of his head is transparent. It’s the perfect “evil prism” pokemon. I really just wish Ultra Necrozma had more detail to him, though. He looks so flat for such a major figure in the games… At least he had a good battle and an even BETTER theme song, hot damn

Guess that’s a good transition to talk about the music, and I guess tangentially about Team Skull, since they were probably the best possible departure from the usual “Evil Team” formula. Them just being random hooligans causing trouble instead of a formal organization trying for world domination is a good change of pace, as pretty much everyone agrees… It wouldn’t have been so great if they didn’t at least try to incorporate rap/trap music into their themes. They’re probably the most music-oriented Team canonically speaking, so they’d have to have a great theme. Also, the idea that they feel left behind by the traditions of the Trials really makes sense, since something so important in their culture would definitely make someone feel left out if they couldn’t get through it. 

Other themes for the more calm situations, like Hau’oli City’s night theme, are also extremely good. I didn’t even realize how much I loved that track until I heard Insaneintherain’s cover of it. It almost sounds like something out of Steven Universe, for how pleasant it is (apart from the piano). Lillie’s theme still gives me the warm fuzzies every time I hear it, too. I don’t think a single game before this has ever done the credits so well, too. Apart from the fun artwork, the last shot of Lillie and the game’s legendary actually just kills me every time. She’s such an adorable, pure soul, it’s crazy to think that when she was first revealed, we thought she was the secret supervillain of the game, just because she looked kinda peeved in her official art. We weren’t far off, though, with the Aether Foundation and all. I love both the calm theme of the Paradise itself AND their evil battle theme. Even though one is obviously an evil theme, it does feel like it came from the same source. Same goes for Lusamine’s theme. I really love the Aether Foundation as a whole too, where we can now have “Good” Foundation archetypes to counter the Evil Team archetype. Plus, their designs all involve white with gold accents, which is basically my brand. I tried to design my own Aether outfit the instant I saw them, since I love their look so much. 

As for battle themes, I love how jazzy Galdion’s battle theme ended up. It made him so much more interesting than just a generic edgelord. The Elite Four’s battle theme might actually be the scariest theme to date for some reason, and yet all I can picture when listening to it is Acerola bobbing joyfully back and forth… Basically the same way, the Tapu battle theme is also pretty crazy, with tribal chants in the back of it. The Tapus are probably the coolest group of legendaries in the game, considering how unique they are, with their oddly wooden shells that represent animals. It really makes them feel like spirits brought about by the people of Alola themselves, instead of just some being that came out of nowhere. Probably the one theme that is the most nostalgic (yes, I know it was only 3 years ago, you can still feel nostalgia damnit) for me is the Kahuna battle theme. It was probably just some random comment on Youtube, but somewhere someone said that it was the perfect theme because it starts off intimidating, but quickly switches into a super fun melody, because ultimately, the Island Challenge is for fun. I just love that. I’m always looking for “Fun” stuff in pretty much everything, so I like a theme that represents that. Also, it’s just super catchy, and even expanded upon in Pokemon Masters. Let it be known that Hapu is the best Kahuna by the way. She cute. Also, watching her become the Kahuna is the best world building you could possibly muster up for this kind of setting. 

Of course, I’m intentionally leaving out a certain group…

You know what I think of when I think of Hawai’i? Pearly white sand beaches… Palm trees… Fruity drinks… oh, and let’s not forget fucking interdimensional aliens. 

The Ultra Beasts are the exact type of thing I’d want to insert into the Pokemon world, and that’s why I love them. They’re so weird in the best ways possible. When they were introduced in a trailer, I had the same reaction as I did with Type: Null. They put him up on the screen for a bit and was like “Haha here’s ‘Type: Null,’ okay next” like EXCUSE ME? YOU CAN’T JUST SHOW ME A POKEMON CALLED “Type: Null” AND NOT EXPLAIN WHAT’S GOING ON. Of course, that’s kind of what the games were for, but it was seriously a shock to the system to see Pokemon with code names instead of actual names. You also can’t convince me that Pheromosa wasn’t designed after Lusamine, and to a lesser extent that Xurkitree wasn’t designed after Guzma. I think it’s canon that Lusamine styled Lillie after Nihilego in her crazed state, but the uncanny likeness between those other two is pretty darn notable. I think from the first batch, Celesteela was my favorite of them all, being like a rusted copper rocket ship or something, who can even smack you with her two giant rockets. Also, Pokemon directly based on folktales are always welcome, no matter what. Meanwhile, with the Ultra games being the first sequels to introduce brand-new Pokemon, Blacephalon easily took top spot. I did say I liked clowns, didn’t I? Plus, the biggest evidence that he’s best boi is that in the anime when he appeared, he didn’t even try to attack anything. He just wanted to show off (specifically, believe it or not, by moonwalking… Whoever’s idea that was needs a raise). I also love detachable heads, which is a great idea to mix with clowns, and I guess also fireworks in this case… I just love him. I really hope that there will be future instances of Ultra Beasts, since it’s apparently super easy to just make them however the hell you want them, and since you’re not limited to a region’s natural environment. Lord knows whoever designed Buzzwole didn’t have any limitations. Exploring his, and really all of their worlds in USUM was extremely fun. It’s a damn shame Blacephalon and Stakataka (again, what a name) didn’t get the same privilege. 

As for the Pokemon as a whole, like I mentioned, off the top of my head I don’t feel super crazy about many of them, even though that’s a total lie. Shiinotic appealed to my inner mushroom-character-lover so much that I basically designed a character that looked identical to him. He’s easily the best mushroom Pokemon to date, where he looks pretty cute while also being just slightly creepy enough, with those souless eyes. The concept for Araquanid is amazing, where he’s a reverse Diving Bell spider. I might’ve designed him a bit differently, but he still looks super cool. The ideas behind Oranguru and Passimian are also cool, since we haven’t delved much into intelligent ape Pokemon enough. Wishiwashi is another great concept, and probably the best fish Pokemon in my opinion because of it. Lurantis and Minior are total cuties, the latter being one of those Pokemon that isn’t always in the forefront of my mind, but the instant it is it reclaims its place as one of my all-time favorites. Golisopod and Kommo-o are two of the coolest Pokemon designs to me, the latter being my all-time favorite Pseudo-Legendary. Vikavolt looks awesome, despite being deceptively slow. Dhelmise looks weird until you realize it’s actually insanely large (like, Wailord large). Mudsdale is just an all-around good-looking horse. Oricorio also looks really cool, especially in her fiery form. Tsareena is, well… Tsareena… That’s not even including the adorable Magearna and Marshadow, who are in generational limbo… Also, I think Mimikyu might be the overall best addition to the franchise ever. No Pika-clone could ever compare. 

I mean, specifically as far as a single Pokemon goes, Mimikyu is definitely the best addition to the franchise. Meanwhile, as far as concepts go, the absolutely HUGE idea of Regional Variants is the best addition. Again, I remember where I was when I heard the announcement: it was some sort of weird fantasy house, with a ton of cool details in it to make it look like a setting in some movie or something. It was awesome there, even if we were staying for only a night or so I think. Either way, the concept of different Pokemon adapting to different conditions in the region is the most perfect way to bring attention back to older Pokemon, and I’m so glad they seem to want to keep the idea for all future generations too. It’s especially fitting for Alola, since it’s a super remote island. I love how goofy Alolan Exeggutor is, especially because everyone else seems to love his goofiness too. Same sort of goes for Dugtrio, since his hair is actually based on a real thing… Marowak becoming a spiritual fire dancer is definitely the best possible iteration for him. My favorite might be the colorful Alolan Muk, though, even if Alolan Vulpix is infinitely cuter and better than fiery Vulpix in every way. I cannot be convinced otherwise.

Also, she’s a perfect fit for Lillie, so I guess I’ll use that as my transition into talking about the characters/anime. I’m just gonna be real with you. I’m not going to hold back. Alola has some of the cutest girls in the entire franchise. But first of all, let’s divert that train and instead lust after a man who is easily the hottest professor in the games yet, Kukui. What self-respecting researcher wouldn’t wear his professor-mandated lab coat without any undershirt? He needs his bulging abs as target practice for his Pokemon’s moves, people. He needs to let them breathe. Also, I was kind of enamoured with Sycamore before him, but you can’t deny the tinted skin gets to you a little. Burnet’s a lucky gal, let’s just say.

Okay, now that we’ve established that my pants don’t discriminate, we have to talk about Wicke. So now that that’s covered, can I just say I love Mina? I’d say she deserves more attention, but she was the only Alolan to make it into Lets Go for some reason, so I guess she’s well off? First of all, I love hippie-esque girls (idealized hippies, at least), so that’s a major plus… I mean, I should probably stop using the word “cute” altogether because it applies to every girl in the game, but yeah. Lana’s highly deserved spotlight in the anime made me love her too, where she was a perfect combination of extroverted while still more soft-spoken. I don’t know if that kind of characters’ an anime trope, but lord knows it’s not in western media, so I love how unique her personality is. Her interacting with Mallow and Lillie in cute, girly ways felt so wholesome. If the anime’s anything, it’s wholesome. 

One sec, though. I have to mention that I really like Hau. He’s obviously the one pinned as “Boo, he’s not a giga-asshole! That means he’s bad!” because I guess the fandom’s hive mind has collectively agreed that the only good rivals are assholes now. Like I said before, this stuff’s more about fun now. Hau’s a fun friend to fight, to the point where you beat him as the Champion you kinda feel bad for knocking him down so much. You feel bad because you like him, you know. Also, I forgot to mention this earlier but even though he isn’t entirely difficult himself, the trials in these games are actually both a difficult and interesting challenge. A 2v1 where you’re at the disadvantage is a great boss battle idea, especially with the strategies set out by a Pokemon’s different abilities and moves. Probably the best was Totem Lurantis, who of course summoned a Sunny Day-based Castform to activate her Chlorophyll and buff her Solar Blade, while adding a diverse fire type into play. It was really difficult, to be honest. Those who say it wasn’t either got lucky or have insane standards that cannot be met because they’re Pokemon Veterans who know every little thing about everything. I’m pretty much in that camp, and I still had to actually plan during the fight. Same goes for Totem Araquanid in USUM. I literally had to poison (not toxic, base poison) stall that guy because I couldn’t do anything to him otherwise. He was pretty much one-shotting everything I sent out, anyway, so I had to stall however I could. You can’t argue that that means it was “easy” because I knew how to beat him. It’s only “easy” if you can just send out pretty much whatever and do whatever and still win. Then there’s the Rainbow Rocket episode in USUM, which is just crazy… There’s not much to say that isn’t obvious there. It was fun seeing the villains that were victorious in a different dimension.

Anyways, for the anime, I also have a similar stance. It really seemed like the only people who started off hating it were anime nerds who had no concept of an in-between frame. I will say that it was a step down from XY/XYZ though, but those seasons’ quality was unusually high. Compared to the animation quality of every other season, it was so much better. First of all, I really don’t even like “anime style” that much, so a slightly more western style was very welcome. Like pretty much every show ever, the animation quality is seriously high where it counts, so there’s not much to be said about that, but I’d say the overall animation quality is a step up in general. The more simplified style only really looked weird in Ash because we’re so used to his more pointy style. Every other character looked totally fine, in my opinion. 

As for the story, I will say I would’ve wanted the scope of the plot to be much larger, like how with the other seasons Ash was going on an adventure, whereas here it was very contained, and centered around the Pokemon School. But, still, like I mentioned, I did enjoy the casual wholesomeness of it all. Not only do I just like mindless fun, but it made the crazy shit feel even crazier. The episode where Faba was trying to catch Nebby is a perfect example. It begins with a nice fun game of all the Pokemon and people jumping rope and having a good time, with some slapstick humor with Faba failing to capture Nebby. Then he does, and shit goes down. First of all, he’s torturing the little thing. Then, ASH (not his Pokemon, Ash himself) tackles Faba. Tell me, what other season had humans fighting other humans? I honestly can’t think of a single time when fighting was done with fists and not Pokemon (although surely I’m forgetting something, there’s gotta be at least one other example, right?) Then, Lillie re-experiences her past trauma of almost being abducted by Nihilego, except now her mom gets abducted in her place… Like, what happened? It was so cute a second ago. That’s always the selling point for any cartoon, for me. Stay casual for a decent amount, then break it with some uncharacteristically high tension. The same goes for the segment where Ash goes into Guzzlord’s post apocalyptic dimension. As for mega-feels, It’s great that they made Litten/Torracat an actual character instead of just some random Pokemon, with Stoutland and whatnot. The episode where they go into Tapu Fini’s mist and Mallow meets her mother, and Torracat meets Stoutland just destroyed me. It was strategically remedied by Lillie and Gladion not seeing their father, suggesting he’s still alive. There were some really great episodes in the season, for sure.

So, yeah… Alola was a good time. Don’t deny it. Galar’s gonna be great too. No game’s ever going to be perfect, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be fun.

[master-sass-blast]

Pride

WE INTERRUPT THE PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED CONTENT BECAUSE-

LADIES, LORDS, AND NOBLE GENTRY OF NON-CONFORMING GENDER IDENTITIES-

IT’S MOTHERFUCKING PRIDE MONTH!!!!

And the way I see it, we can’t do Pride month without having at least one (1) Pride themed fic. Which is why I stopped working on the previously scheduled content for this week and busted out a Pride themed fic instead!

Which is this fic here! In case... that wasn’t... clear...

Anywho.

Summary: You and Piotr take some of the teens at the X-Mansion to New York City’s Pride festival --and meet some interesting people while you’re there.

Rating: T for moderate language. If it wasn’t for that, this fic would be G.

Pairings: Piotr Rasputin x Reader, Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson, and Ellie Phimister x Yukio.

(Author’s Note One: I know that Kitty is alluded to possibly being bisexual in some of the comics. Here, she’s queer in the sense that she doesn’t quite know where she lands yet, but she knows she’s not straight. Considering I have her around 17, I figured having her be a little more ambiguous --since she’s in the early stages of her journey in discovering herself--was fitting.

Author’s Note Two: I headcanon Illyana as asexual. Also, asexual/aromantic people belong in the queer community/at Pride. If you don’t like any of that, die mad about it.

Author’s Note Three: Lzzy Hale does identify as bisexual/pansexual, which is why I decided to write in Halestorm performing at Pride (aside from my obsession with them). Basically, I just want to be clear that I’m not writing in a straight person performing at a Pride festival, say, for instance, Ariana Grande. *side-eyes Manchester*

Author’s Note Four: Your sexuality, as the Reader, is kept entirely ambiguous. There are several sexuality and/or gender identities (and combinations therein) that “allow” for being attracted to and in a relationship with a cisgender, heterosexual man (which is how I write Piotr), so I didn’t want to stick a label on the Reader’s “character” and ruin the immersion for everyone who doesn’t identify with that label. If you do identify as queer, then feel free to imagine yourself in whatever Pride themed gear you have, and as attending Pride as a queer person in a relationship with a straight person! If not, your role in the story is strictly what it says in the fic: to help Piotr chaperone the teens and to support the students in embracing the most authentic versions of themselves, whatever that may be! Just so we’re all clear.)

Tag list: @marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie

“—and stay together… Kitty, are you listening?”

“What? Oh, yeah, totally!”

You can’t help but chuckle at your boyfriend’s exasperated expression as Kitty Pryde, one of the latest teen trainees to come to Xavier’s, continues bouncing back and forth to whatever song she was listening to on her phone.

Summer’s normally a low-key time for the Institute. Most of the students only stay for the traditional school year, which means that the summer season sees a mass exodus of most of the mansion’s temporary residents and trainees. Save for missions and training, summer’s usually an entirely dialed back, relaxed affair.

Except for June.

One thing you’ve learned since arriving at Xavier’s is that minority groups have a way of overlapping. Several of the mutants that attend Xavier’s identify as queer in some way, shape, or form –and most of the permanent residents were queer as well, having been kicked out of their homes for the identity and genetics.

Sad as the rejection rates are, you’ve witnessed firsthand just how hard the staff at Xavier’s worked to make sure that all their residents feel accepted, supported, and loved.

Including taking teenaged and adult residents to New York City’s annual Pride festival.

Illyana, already decked out in her usual muted colors and a shirt dyed with the asexual Pride flag colors, purses her lips as Kitty bobs her head back and forth. “Katya –Katya, sit still.”

“I am!” Kitty insists as she continues bouncing up and down and mouthing the lyrics to whatever she’s listening to. “I’m totally chill!”

You bite back a snort as Illyana narrows her eyes—

And then the blonde teen yanks none too gently on Kitty’s hair.

“Ow!” Kitty shrieks, dropping her phone as she claps her hands to her head. “What the heck!”

“You want hair braided, da?” Illyana plucks the earbuds out of her friend’s ears and tilts Kitty’s head back so the –barely—younger teen can see her displeased expression. “Sit. Still.”

“Gentle, snezhinka,” Piotr says to his baby sister, tone warning.

“Yeah,” Kitty agrees, smoothing her shirt with a rainbow patterned Star of David silk-screened on the front. “Chill out, ‘yana.”

“Are we almost ready?” Ellie asks as she bounds into the kitchen, Yukio hot on her heels. “We need to leave in ten minutes if we want to get a good spot to see Halestorm play.”

Piotr had volunteered –and you along with him—to chaperone the trip this year, which basically amounted to herding a bunch of particularly fickle cats all over the place.

“Chill, dude,” Kitty says as she tries to reach for her phone. “It’s just a rock band.”

“Just a rock band?” Ellie and Illyana say simultaneously, aghast.

“Are you sure we have this handled?” you whisper to your boyfriend as Ellie and Illyana both start in on separate rants about Lzzy Hale’s status as a queer woman and the classifications of rock versus metal music, respectively.

“I am having second thoughts,” Piotr admits, grimacing slightly. “But I think it will all be worth-while at conclusion.”

You smile and kiss his shoulder. “I think so, too.”

“Wait, are you still in your pajama pants?” Ellie props herself up on the counter –and, sure enough, Kitty’s only half-dressed. “Are you fucking serious, Pryde? Do you want us to end up at the fucking fringes?”

“Language, NTW,” Piotr interjects before things can get too out of hand. “Self-control, please. Kitty, why are you not dressed?”

“Well, ‘yana was going to braid my hair—”

“Which I cannot do—” Illyana yanks Kitty’s head up again, prompting another yelp from the brunette “—if you keep moving!”

Kitty glares at her impromptu stylist. “You’re a real sadist, you know.”

“Okay,” you say, picking up Kitty’s phone and earbuds and holding them out of reach. “How about you sit still and let Illyana do your hair, and then go get dressed. Ellie, why don’t you work with Piotr and get us packed up, if you’re so worried about being late.”

“Good idea, Y/N,” Piotr says, mouthing a quick “thank you” at you when Kitty finally sits still with a huff.

You wink and blow a kiss at him, then turn when the back door swings open.

Wade strolls in, wearing a black t-shirt that says “It’s time to pan-ic” with the text colored like the pansexual pride flag; Nathan follows, wearing a tank top that says “Bi until I die” with each row of text matching an individual stripe from the bisexual pride flag.

Kitty grins. “Damn. Looking cool, dudes.”

“Always do, Snickers.”

Illyana blinks. “What?”

“He started calling me ‘Kit-Kat,’” Kitty explains with a resigned sigh. “And then it just escalated into other candies.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, sour lemon drop.”

Your snort and shake your head before heading off to help Piotr and Ellie pack up the car.

***

Fortunately for Kitty’s existence and Ellie’s sanity, you arrive with plenty of time to get a good spot for the Pride concert.

“Sunscreen,” Piotr insists before Ellie can dart off to get the best possible spot remaining. He clasps her shoulder and holds a bottle of SPF 100 out to her. “Please and thank you.”

“No way!” Kitty gripes when Piotr holds a second bottle out to her. “I want to tan.”

“You’re ninety percent European Jew by ancestry,” Ellie fires off. “You’ll just burn.”

“Yeah, but it’ll turn into a tan. Duh.”

“Use the sunscreen,” Wade says with a cheery smile as he puts on a lightweight hoodie and a baseball cap. “If you don’t, you’ll wind up looking like me.”

Kitty grimaces and recoils. “Ew!”

“Be nice!” Illyana hisses, elbowing her friend in the side.

“It’s all good,” Wade says with a shrug as Kitty starts slathering herself in sunscreen. “I’m all for scaring people into making better life choices.”

***

The lot of you manage to get a spot about thirty feet back from the stage where most of the artists are performing. With Wade in a hoodie and cap and Nathan in a jacket and sunglasses, no one even gives you a second glance.

And then Halestorm comes onstage, and the music kicks in, and then the amount of glances you get plunges into the negative numbers.

Not that you can blame anyone for it. The energy the band manages to kick up is astounding.

Ellie looks like she’s seeing the face of God for the first time. She’s more animated than you’ve ever seen her, singing along to the lyrics of every song with flawless accuracy.

You and Piotr share a smile behind her back. So precious.

Halfway through the set, Piotr kneels down and puts his trainee up on his shoulders so she has a better view of the stage.

You manage to snap a quick picture of Ellie’s grinning face. That’s one for the memory books.

***

Ellie practically dives off Piotr’s shoulders once Halestorm walks off the stage.

“Blyad!” Piotr yelps, startled –Illyana barks out a quick laugh—as he catches Ellie from face-planting into the pavement. “Slow down!”

“Okay, I get why you were so excited to see them live,” Kitty says, grinning. “Lzzy’s super hot.”

“Told you,” Illyana and Ellie say in unison.

Ellie starts rummaging through her bag. “My aunt got us VIP passes to go to the signing. If we leave now, we should get there when things kick off.”

“Yeah, right,” Kitty argues. “We’re basically at the front of the crowd. There’s no way we’ll get there ahead of everyone else.”

Illyana’s eyes light up. “Everyone, grab on to me.”

Piotr frowns. “Snezhinka, nyet—”

She smiles impishly at her older brother as Ellie, Yukio, Kitty, Wade, and Nate grab onto her arms. “Sozhaleyu, medvezhonok.”

And then she winks out of view, taking everyone with her.

You bite back a laugh as Piotr’s expression morphs into one of brotherly fury. “Come on. We can check out the vendor stalls while they get their autographs.”

“Except Kitty, Yukio, and Ellie are all minors, and I am responsible for them as chaperone.”

“Oh. Right.” You do laugh this time, then squeeze his hand when he gives you a consternated look. “Well, let’s go collect our kids, then.”

***

By the time the two of you reach the autograph area, Nathan and Wade already have the teens waiting outside the security checkpoint.

Ellie’s practically vibrating with excitement as she shoves a CD case with a silver signature inked on it in Piotr’s face. “Check it out!”

“Very nice,” Piotr says with a smile equal parts indulgent and fond.

“She signed my hand, too!”

“And now you’re never going to wash that hand again,” Wade jokes.

“No,” Ellie says with a frown. “That’s gross, even by your standards.”

“Not really, considering I never wash my hands to begin with.”

Kitty gags and claps a hand over her mouth. “I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Alright, everyone,” you say with an amused eye roll. “Let’s go find a place to sit for lunch.”

***

You wind up running into some of the college students and other fledgling adults that train with the X-Men and end up sitting with them.

“Yeah, my aunt brought me to the parade last year,” Ellie says, recounting her first experience with Pride. “After I came out.”

Wade nods, genuinely listening and conversing for once. “‘Ness and I went together each year after we got together.”

“Cool.”

“I got arrested by a cop one year for streaking.”

“Not cool.”

“I went to Tokyo Pride with my older brothers last year,” Yukio chimes in, smiling happily as she munches away at a sandwich. “What about you, Illyana?”

“Ah, not so much for me,” Illyana says, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “Russia… does not have as much for us.”

“It’s a good thing you’ve got Colossus here,” Kitty pipes up around a mouthful of pizza. “You can celebrate with us.”

Illyana favors the brunette with a small smile. “Da.”

“What about you, Cable?” Yukio asks, smiling sweetly. “Are there Pride celebrations in the future?”

“Not really,” Nathan replies. “We’re too busy trying to survive and win the war against Apocalypse to have parades.”

Kitty pinches the bridge of her nose. “Jesus Christ, you’re so depressing.”

Nathan smirks. “There’s not as much fuss about sexuality, either. Or polyamory. Love is love, and considering the people that you love might be gone in a moment, you have to make every second count.”

“At least you got that right,” Ellie mutters.

Wade elbows his boyfriend in the side. “C’mon, Cabesy. You have to admit—” he waves a hand grandly at the bright, colorful celebration all around you “—that this isn’t half bad.”

Nate’s smirk grows into a smile, and he concedes with a nod. “Not half bad at all.”

***

The lot of you spend the rest of the afternoon checking out the various stalls and vendor stands.

A lot of them are being run by corporate representatives. An… alarming number, really.

Nathan scowls when you pass by a booth being run by Comcast, of all things. “I thought this was supposed to be a celebration for the queer community.”

“It is,” Wade says. “At its core, it is.”

“The capitalist death machine knows no boundaries or sense of appropriateness,” Ellie says flatly.

“This is part of the problem, you know,” Nate growls, jerking his thumb at the Comcast booth. “Corporations keep sinking their claws into everything they can and milk it for all it’s worth. When they finally collapse, there isn’t anything left for the rest of humanity.”

“Okay, maybe save the depressing stuff for later?” Kitty pipes up.

“It’s okay.” Wade squeezes Nathan’s hand. “We can maim the Comcast CEO later this week if you want.”

“Nyet,” Piotr interjects. “Absolutely not.”

Wade waves a dismissive hand at your boyfriend. “Relax, Chrome Dome. I didn’t say you had to come along.”

“How about we save all conversations relating to bodily harm of others until we’re not within earshot of minors and a thousand or so witnesses,” you hiss before an actual disagreement can break out. “Capiche?”

***

Towards the end of your time at the festival, you all wind up stumbling across a photography group run by queer individuals. The banner over the table reads “Snapshot Studios” in crisp, jet black letters, and countless shots of people, animals, and nature shots are on display for everyone to see.

“Wow,” Kitty says, admiring a picture of a sunset over a lake. “This is seriously cool.”

“Thank you,” a young man with curly hair that’s been dyed blue says. He extends his hand and introduces himself as Aiden, one of the principle photographers for the studio. “We’re in the middle of doing a Pride-themed series, for obvious reasons. You can check it out on our website.” He hands out business cards to each of you. “If any of you are interested in participating, you can contact us at the email address on the card. There’s no fee involved; we just take your picture and ask you questions about your experience as a queer person.” He glances off to the side, where Wade’s staring intently at one of the pictures. “Hey, buddy. You like the look of something?”

You crane your neck to see which picture Wade’s looking at, and –oh. That’s a familiar face.

Wade gazes longingly at a picture of Vanessa, dressed up in a strappy black dress and winking at the camera. He lifts his hand, almost as though he wants to reach out and touch her face, then clearly thinks better of it and jams it in his sweatshirt pocket.

“That’s from our sex worker positivity collection,” Aiden says, still studying Wade carefully.

“I know,” Wade says, somewhat sadly. “That’s my ex-girlfriend.”

Aiden’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh. Uh… I take it things didn’t work out?”

Wade grimaces. “She died.”

“Shit. I’m sorry, man.” Aiden regards Wade thoughtfully for a moment, then reaches over and takes down Vanessa’s picture. “Here.” He holds the picture out to Wade. “Take it home with you. No charge.”

Wade blinks at him for a moment, shocked, then gently takes the photo out of Aiden’s hands. He gazes down at it for a moment, tracing Vanessa’s face lovingly, then reaches out for Nathan’s hand before looking back up at Aiden. “Thank you.”

Nate squeezes Wade’s hand gently, a soft smile on his face.

“No problem, man. Hey, if you don’t mind my asking, are you a burn victim?”

“Ah, no.” Wade shrugs one shoulder, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “Mutation side effect.”

“You’re a mutant?” Aiden’s eyebrows go up again.

“We all are,” you clarify, gesturing at your little group.

“Really? That’s super cool. I had no idea.”

“It’s not exactly something we show off,” Ellie pipes up. “There aren’t many mutations that alter physical appearance, either.”

“Makes sense,” Aiden says, nodding. “So, did you guys just happen to meet up with each other, or…”

“We work with Xavier’s Institute for Gifted Youngsters,” Piotr says, handing Aiden a business card of his own as he steps into the conversation for the first time.

Aiden grins as he eyes the card. “So, you’re X-Men. I thought you guys were on full-time hero duty.”

“They have a rotating schedule,” Wade interjects.

“We also have to take care of students,” Piotr says, eyeing Wade sternly. “Part of that is ensuring they connect to necessary communities.”

“That’s super dope, man. I know a lot of parents who wouldn’t do that.”

You have to drift away at that point to keep an eye on Kitty and Illyana, who’ve wandered down a few booths. By the time you get them to circle back to Piotr and the rest of the group, Piotr and Aiden seem to be wrapping up what seems like an intense discussion.

You eye your boyfriend quizzically as you all head back to the car. “What was that all about?”

Piotr smiles as he tucks Aiden’s business card into his wallet. “Networking.”

***

It takes a couple weeks, but you eventually figure out what “networking” means.

As chance would have it, Aiden and his coworkers are extremely interested in including mutants in this year’s Pride-themed photography series. It takes a little finagling to get some of the waivers worked out for the underage students who want to participate, and then it takes even more finagling to get a date and mutant safe location worked out, but eventually everything smooths out.

They wind up setting up in one of the training rooms first –to get the shots that require powers like Ellie’s or Russell’s, which means that the training rooms are the safest place to set up—then move out to the grounds behind the manor for the rest of the shoot.

Ellie’s aunt, Brie Phimister –who’s a spitting image of Ellie, just with wavy hair and a slightly longer face—shows up for the second part of the shoot, decked out in her Pride gear.

“So, you’re a mutant, too?” one of Aiden’s coworkers –CJ, you think—asks while Aiden gets shots of Ellie, Brie, and Yukio together.

“Yup,” you confirm, popping the ‘p.’ “I can control air –which basically means I can fly plus some fun stuff.”

“That’s super rad,” probably CJ says with a lax grin. “Hey –Aiden! She can fly!”

“No way.” Aiden grins back at you once he finishes taking his latest set of shots. “Stick around until the end. I’d like to get some shots of that, if that’s cool with you.”

You grin back. “Sure thing.”

***

It’s late evening by the time everything wraps up.

Kitty mugs for the camera like she’s born for it, and almost seems a little put out by being told to head inside.

The highlight of the whole thing, though (in your opinion), are the shots CJ manages to get of Nathan and Wade.

Wade, unsurprisingly, seemed a bit nervous about having his picture taken. He’d been stiff, barely smiling or looking at the camera—

And then Nathan had looped an arm around his boyfriend’s neck and pressed a fat kiss against Wade’s cheek.

The smile that had broken out across Wade’s face was nothing short of wonderful.

The other highlight of the day is when Piotr comes out as things wrap up, armored up and in his X-Men uniform.

Aiden gawks, eyes wide and mouth hanging open as Piotr strolls towards everyone. “Holy fucking shit!”

“Language, please,” Piotr says with a polite gesture towards Ellie and Yukio. “Young ones are present.”

Aiden blinks, clearly thrown, but recovers quickly enough. “I’ve never seen anyone like you, dude. You look seriously cool.”

“That’s what I said when I first met him,” you comment, grinning widely at your boyfriend.

“Understandable.” Aiden looks over at you. “And you can fly?”

You summon an air current by way of answering and lift yourself a few feet off the ground, twirling and somersaulting slowly as you drift towards the sky.

“Okay, can you do that again?” Aiden asks as he gets his camera ready. “Except over here –yeah, perfect. Okay, go! Alright, look at me and smile –eh, a little more teeth… perfect…”

You do as you’re told, grinning and twirling in the air while Aiden gets the shots he wants. “How do I look, babe?” you ask Piotr with a giggle.

He smiles fondly at you. “Very beautiful, myshka.”

“You two are together?” Aiden asks.

“Yup!” You smile brightly –and Aiden snaps another quick picture. “Have been for a while now.”

“We could get some really good pictures of them,” another coworker with bright purple hair –you think her name is Violet, which would make sense—points out. “The contrast of their mutations would make for great thematic storytelling, visually speaking.”

Aiden hums thoughtfully, finger tapping against his camera while he considers the idea. “It really would. Are you two okay with that?”

“I’m down.” You look to Piotr. “Is that okay with you?”

He shrugs and moves to stand next to you. “Konechno.”

You use your mutation to plop yourself down on his shoulders and brace yourself against his head. “How’s this?”

“Not bad,” Aiden says, getting his camera ready once more. “Lean to the side and forward a little more –yeah, keep your hair away from your face, good. Okay, now you put your hands on her legs or something, like you’re helping her balance… perfect. Okay, neither of you move for a minute.” He snaps a few pictures, then chuckles. “Dude, you are too tall for some of this. Is there a stool I can use?”

“I’ll get one,” Ellie says before trotting off to the house.

***

You spend the next hour posing with and without Piotr in various positions, from sitting on his shoulders, to him holding you in his arms, to you flying above him and him smiling up at you.

Aiden jumps on and off the stool Ellie fetched for him, lays down on the ground, and does just about every conceivable thing to get the shots he wants. When the light gets too dim, he and his coworkers break out their lighting rigs and keep going.

“Y’all are seriously dedicated to this,” you comment at one point, genuinely impressed.

“You can’t have a life’s passion without actually being passionate,” Violet says with a smile.

After a while, Aiden breaks out a tripod and a camera specifically designed for slow motion and has Piotr go in and out of defense mode a few times.

“Wow,” you breathe when Aiden shows you a shot where Piotr’s face is slowly morphing into his armor. “That’s amazing.”

“No kidding,” Aiden agrees. “I think this will go on the front of the mutant spread we talked about.”

You furrow your brow, confused. “Am I missing something?”

“Back at the vendor booth,” Aiden explains. “We talked about including mutants in our Pride themed collection, but we also discussed releasing a series that focused solely on mutants once Pride month was over.” He gestures to the screen, where Piotr’s face is still visible. “This is a gorgeous shot. I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

Piotr checks the shot when Aiden holds the camera out for him to see, then shrugs somewhat sheepishly. “If you think it works.”

“I do. Okay, I’ve got one last concept I want to do, if you guys are willing.”

“What’re you thinking?” you ask.

“I was thinking we could have your man get into his armor, and then pick you up and give you a kiss, and then un-armor while he’s kissing you.” He looks between you and Piotr. “Does that sound like something you’d both be comfortable with?”

You nod before looking over at Piotr. “Babe?”

He shrugs again. “I have no problems.”

“Awesome.” Aiden has Piotr armor up and lift you into his arms, then tests a few spots before getting back on the stool. “Alright, kiss her in three, two, one…”

You close your eyes as Piotr’s lips press –gently—against yours and loop your arms around his neck.

It’s a little weird, holding the kiss while he transitions out of defense mode, but he holds you steady, adjusting his grip as he goes so you don’t so much as wobble. Once he’s fully de-armored, he sets you carefully on the ground and moves his hands from your back to your face, cupping your head in his hands.

Aiden snaps a few more pictures, then hops off the stool and claps his hands. “Perfect.”

You grin as he shows you the screen, cycling through the series of pictures. “Damn. We look good.”

Piotr points at the picture where he’s full armored down and cupping your face in his hands. “I like this one best.”

You lean against his side, grinning. “Me too.”

[lol-misantlery]

Yuletide 2019

Hello! I am misantlery on ao3.

Under the read more are specific details about what I want for Derry Girls, Mad Men, Queen’s Thief, Into the Spiderverse, Fleabag, and The Eagle.

General Likes

PINING, awkwardness, people being inexplicably fond of each other, breaking up/making up fic, people being emotionally repressed, denial, FORCED INTIMACY (pretending to be dating, bed sharing, huddling for warmth, trapped in elevator/closet/room together), amnesia fic, first times, hurt/comfort, trust issues, hooker aus, robot aus, happily ever afters.

I am good with g-rated or nc-17 rated fic, but if you’re comfortable writing porn here are some things I am into:

bad decision sex sexual experimentation fun/goofy/‘bad’ sex sex pollen intimacy issues

General Dislikes

rape/non con, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, mundane aus, soulmate marks aus, 24/7 BDSM, non canonical major character death, harm to animals, unhappy endings, mpreg, issuefic, harm to children.

If you want to know some more about what i’m into for each fandom/want some prompts, then keep reading but don’t stress about following each prompt to the letter or anything. They’re here for inspiration!

Why are you so into The Purge as a scenario???

Listen, this took me by surprise too. Explaining it now makes me sound like a crazy person. But I will try.

The Purge is a horror movie franchise, set in a dystopian near-future America where all crime is legal for one day a year, including murder. Pretty dark, edgy, violent stuff! I am not especially interested in the dark and grim sociopolitical realities of this situation, in case my prompts don’t make that clear. I am here for the absurdity, and in the case of most of these fandoms, for the weird and hilarious contrast between my requested fandom and the over the top violence of The Purge. You don’t even need to watch any of The Purge movies, because let’s be real, I don’t care about the world building or logistics here, and I’m not interested in a true crossover so much as I am in borrowing the “all crime is legal for a day” scenario. If any of the Purge prompts speak to you, read some wiki summaries and have at it.

Don’t feel obligated to write those prompts if these aren’t scenarios that appeal to you! And if you do write them, please, don’t make them super dark. Again, the appeal here is the absurdity, not the grim violence of it all.

Derry Girls: Erin Quinn, Clare Devlin, Michelle Mallon, James Maguire

Let me start off by saying you don’t need to include all four in a fic if you don’t want to! I’m perfectly happy with any configuration you end up putting together. If you want to include all the gang, that’s great too! I love everybody nominated so feel free to go wherever your imagination takes you.

I love how the group will spend all day making fun of each other but always come together when it counts. I would definitely enjoy you keeping with the show and doing something with that. Everyone going up on stage to perform with Orla and James realizing that he belongs as a Derry Girl are two of my favorite scenes.

Prompts:

Erin/Clare: I would love a fic where Erin and Clare really do go to prom together instead of the whole thing with Mae and John Paul. Maybe they go for real, or maybe Erin goes as her fake date to support her and then they have to continue the charade after prom. Erin would definitely do a lot of research and throw herself fully into being the best lesbian she could be, which obviously would include practicing kissing Clare a whole lot. I love a good fake dating fic that has the couple accidentally catching feelings. I also love the idea of everyone thinking she’s just making a statement and her dad being the only one to realize her feelings are for real.

I also love the idea of them bonding over a crush on Ms. De Brun, either after the first time or having her roll back into town and Erin going full Dean Pelton “This better not awaken anything in me.”

Michelle/James: I’m very into their combative but loving relationship. Michelle asking him to stay in the finale *__* I’m also very much into introducing a cousinfucking aspect but if you aren’t, don’t worry. I also enjoy how they are in the show, so if you keep their relationship at that level I’ll still be perfectly happy. If you are into it, Michelle totally gives off a “stop making love to me while I’m trying to fuck you” vibe and I would really enjoy seeing how annoyed she would be to realize he was more than just a ride to her.

Michelle gets caught in a time loop and has to figure out how to escape it. Maybe she lets James leave Derry all those other times and the version we see is the one she got right. Or maybe James and Michelle both get caught up in a loop and try increasingly ridiculous schemes to get out of it.

Or maybe Michelle’s mom gave up James’ room when she thought he was leaving with his mom and now James and Michelle have to share a room. They have to deal with all the feelings the finale brought up.

If you are more inspired by one of the other configurations please go for it. I loved James being instantly on Clare’s side when she came out. Finding out how Michelle and/or Erin and/or Clare’s friendship started would be fun. I liked James coming through for Erin when she got stood up. If you are more inspired by James and Erin please keep it platonic. I like them just as friends. I’m definitely open to James, Michelle, and Erin being queer/bi/etc if you’re interested in including that in any of these prompts.

Something based on this post: https://v1als.tumblr.com/post/187672633662/meanwhile-in-the-other-derry . If this appeals to you please go as wild as you want. Fic about the Derry Girls bullying a clown to death? Awesome! Fic about Mary Quinn beating the shit out of a dumb clown with a frying pan or Sister Michael being incredibly unimpressed by It? Love it. If you want to go to an angsty place I’m into it but I would prefer it doesn’t end with anybody perma-dead. I'd be equally happy with ships or no ships for this. No need to bring in the rest of the It characters unless you feel like it.

Mad Men: Bob Benson, Pete Campbell

This is probably my forever yuletide fandom! The show’s been over for a while now, but I still have an enormous soft spot for the love story of Bob and Pete, and would read any number of variations on it.

I don’t mind if you ignore certain parts of canon (s7) or go canon divergent, you can also follow canon if want (Bob shows up in Wichita??) GO WILD.

Shipping Bob/Pete began as a joke for me, but I do ship it for real. I like that Bob is all *_________* about Pete and Pete is simultaneously disgusted and intrigued. He might not be gay, but he’s definitely into someone who’s into him.

Also, if you just want to write about Bob I’d be really interested in his past and what the whole “manservant” deal was. We pretty much know nothing about him and I’d be interested in some backstory, but I’m not exactly looking for Bob/OMC PWP. In case it seemed that way!

btw, https://vimeo.com/132033248 is a supercut of all Bob/Pete scenes (pw: kneetouching). Enjoy!

Prompts:

Fake dating: The CEO of a big company is secretly gay and Pete thinks pretending to be gay will form a bond of solidarity that will give him an edge, but the CEO mistakes this for interest and Pete scrambles to come up with an excuse to get out of doing anything gay and he comes up with, “I have a lover! You may have met him…”

They go to a gay bar lolz and awkwardness ensue.

Pete molds Bob into the Perfect Ad Man and falls for him in the process. Basically “My Fair Lady” with a hillbilly and sodomy.

Groundhog day fic: Pete has to go through the same day again and again, tries to get help from Ken, Peggy, etc, and then comes to the realization that only Bob believes him.

Bob is a conman who starts out trying to seduce Pete as part of a long con, but ends up falling in love.

what if Bob is a spy who mistakes Pete for his contact because Pete compliments his tie? what kind of spy and mistaken identity shenanigans could ensue?

What if Bob and Pete + the Purge??? I feel like Bob would do well. He’s got secrets. Maybe one of those secrets is a facility with weaponry. Also, sodomy wasn’t legal in New York until the 1980s. What if someone in the office awkwardly asks Bob what he’s going to do during the Purge and Pete is appalled, because how uncouth! Everyone knows you don’t ask people what they’re going to do during the Purge! And then Bob makes some veiled comment about how he always spends his Purges banging dudes, and Pete is horribly Intrigued because sex stuff is never a Purge thing he’d thought of.

Queen’s Thief - Megan Whalen Turner: Gen, Attolia

I love these books, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I love Attolia, Gen, and their relationship best. I didn't see the twist where Gen confessed his love to Attolia coming at all the first time I read it and I frantically read to the end to make sure that everything turned out ok. As soon as I got there, I flipped to the front and started again. Somewhere between that moment and when I reached that scene on the stairs again, they became one of my all time OTPs. To be honest, it was probably when she cut off his hand.

I just love them so much, with how ruthless Attolia is and how clever Gen is, and all I want is a fic that focuses on them and their sort of messed up dynamic and that will be enough. I also love Kamet/Costis and would be happy to see something about them in addition to some Gen/Attolia content. I'm open to canon divergent AUs, but, please, no AUs where Attolia doesn't cut off his hand.

Prompts:

Part of what I love so much about this pairing is how terrifyingly competent they are together, and what a good team they make. So I’d love a fic about something like, what if some of their barons are stupid enough to think that Gen and Attolia can be turned on each other? Obviously Gen and Attolia have to go crush them together.

They have to go on some kind of diplomatic visit to Eddis or Sounis or maybe something further afield and absolutely nothing goes as planned. Again, show me how terrifyingly competent they are! Or just go for the lolz: how hilariously wrong can things go, and how do Gen and Attolia deal with it? You can also go the action/adventure route: do they have to get themselves out of a sticky situation by fighting or sneaking around?

Speaking of sneaking around: I’m also into the many possibilities of the scenario where Gen teaches Attolia how to sneak into his bedroom for once. Sexy, funny, emotional, all of the above, I’m into any of it!

Part of the messed up dynamic that I love with these two is how fear and love and guilt are all mixed up together for them, after Attolia cuts off her hand. So I’d be really interested in anything about how/if Gen gets over his fear of Attolia in bed or not, but maybe definitely at least in part through sex.

And because I’ve got a soft spot for Costis and Kamet: Gen and Attolia attend Costis and Kamet's wedding, in disguise or not. Maybe it makes them think of their own wedding! Maybe everyone just reflects sappily on True Love! Or maybe someone gets up to shenanigans!  It’s up to you, dear writer!

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse: May Parker, Olivia Octavius

"My friends call me Liv," Doc Ock says to Miles. And then when she walks into Aunt May's house, May says, "Oh great, it's Liv." I would really love to read a lot more about what's going on with that. Sex is not a must, but I do ship them and anything about a romantic relationship would be great. If you're not into that, then I'd love to read more exploring their dynamic in general -- May is so fondly exasperated and not remotely surprised, but they both immediately go to the mat.

Prompts:

Pre-movie college backstory. Were they rivals-turned-lovers in college? Friendly but disinterested roommates who spent all their time playing science cloak-and-dagger games before realizing over spring break that their nemesis was their roommate? 

Pre-movie Spidey parallels backstory. May was clearly supporting Peter as he developed into your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and Octavia has been... what? We know she's CEO of Alchemax during the movie -- was she promoted? Is she the founder? I'd love something exploring their parallel paths, May as a behind-the-scenes string-puller and Liv as a mad scientist, with Peter in the middle working to counter Liv more explicitly. 

Post-movie, MIles goes to visit Aunt May and finds Liv there. They have a really awkward tea. 

Post-movie, Liv tries to make a comeback. May rolls her eyes and gets to work.

Purge!AU: What happens to the two of them on Purge night? Does May reluctantly go out to try to stop whatever Liv is up to this time? Do they end up working together for some reason? Do they declare it amateur night and just order a pizza?

Also, I would be interested in a fun fic where May and Liv both end up sort of awkwardly mentoring Miles because Miles and Liv end up in a classic supervillian-superhero team-up against some other big villain or disaster.

Fleabag: Fleabag, Priest

So I watched all of Fleabag in a weekend fueled by pizza and beer and loved all of it. But, not gonna lie, what really got me to sit down and finally watch the show was all this talk of a hot priest romance going on in season 2. Others may never believe Moriarty from BBC Sherlock could bring it like that, but I saw the light.

I’m absolutely fine with shippy fic for this fandom. If you want to go down the hardcore priest fucking road then go wild, but I did love everything about the show. Fleabag herself and all of her issues, Claire (and her haircut) and everyone else. Whatever you can write for me that captures how heartbreaking and funny the show is would be great, I'm sure.

Prompts:

With all this talk of the cool Pope maybe considering letting priests marry let’s pretend that the Vatican really does that and now priests everywhere can get married. How would Fleabag feel when she sees the news on the telly? How would the Priest? Imagine them bumping into each other after the news come out.

I think one of the most interesting things about season 2 was the Priest knowing when Fleabag was breaking the fourth wall. What if the fox is his personal fourth wall that no one sees but Fleabag that he can’t leave behind until he deals with his shit? 

Purge prompt: Brexit finally happens and the new PM decides to try this Purge thing the Americans have been doing every year. How would Fleabag fare in the purge? Would she stay locked inside with her family having to fight off Stepmother, who’s down to do some purging herself and is scarily good at killing people? Would she go off to hunt Martin? Maybe fucking a Priest doesn’t count if it’s during purge night.

The Eagle | Eagle of the Ninth: Marcus Flavius Aquila, Esca Mac Cunoval

I love this stupid movie so much.I love Marcus, Esca, and Marcus/Esca and would prefer them shipped. UST/pre-slash is okay, too, if you'd rather not write a romance, but please at least leave me the hope that it's going to happen!

What I really love about Marcus/Esca is how even when Marcus is the one who holds official power over Esca as his owner, Esca is always the one with the power in their relationship because Marcus is so desperately into him. I love Marcus pining for Esca but being too honourable to do anything about it, while Esca is too angry at himself for pining for Marcus to do anything about it. I also enjoy Marcus having Roman issues about wanting Esca to fuck him and I don't care if they're not entirely historically accurate. I would just be very into Marcus having very rigid ideas about sex between men and struggling with wanting Esca to fuck him and Esca helping him overcome that.

Some general things about them that I love, both in the movie and in potential fic: cultural miscommunications, or just them worrying enough about miscommunication that they don't even try. Marcus having such utter blind trust in Esca. Esca having to relearn how to let somebody care about him.

Prompts:

That said, my first request is PWP. /o\ I would really, really love a Seal People Made Them Do It fic. Maybe the Seal Prince wants Esca to prove Marcus is his slave, or maybe there's a general boning festival going on and it'd be weird/suspicious for Esca not to participate, I don't know (and not too concerned with historical accuracy on this one). But I'm very into the danger element of they have to fake it for their safety/survival and the intimacy element of them understanding each other with few or no words. Like from Esca's POV, he gets that Marcus understands and consents, or from Marcus', understanding that if he doesn't want to go along with it, they can try to kill their way out. And, okay, if Marcus is a little ashamed of being into it, I am very, very there for that. :9

I would also love a roadtrip fic! The movie clearly ends with Marcus setting Esca up to choose their next adventure, so what does he choose? I don't have a lot of specific plot ideas for that, but I would definitely love to see them on another journey together, maybe hitting all the fun roadtrip tropes, like huddling for warmth in the woods and there being only one bed in their room at the hospitia. 

Or, if you're feeling up to something fun and weird, a Purge AU. Honestly, Ancient Rome is a setting that seems oddly suited to hosting the Purge and I would love to see it either played relatively straight to dark and dramatic effect, or humorously deconstructed, with Esca exasperated by more let's-kill-people Roman nonsense.

I would also really be into fic from Esca's POV, holding Marcus during the surgery and contemplating letting twitch and die, and then ~looking into his eyes~ and feeling sick with himself for having such a thought about the man who saved his life, even if he is a Roman asshole. Perhaps followed by all the times Esca could have had him killed or let him die and deciding not to because HONOR until he realizes no, actually, I just really, really want to bone this dude. And then he follows up on that realization, in whatever romantic form that takes.

[cupofsorrows]

Howard Lovecraft 5: Yes, This Is The Last One

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Alright chums, let’s do this, home stretch!

- Alright everybody, welcome back to Eldritch Wipeout!

- We’ve had a pretty uneventful day so far, but that might turn around with our next contestant! Standing three feet tall and hailing from Rhode Island, let’s give it up for Howard “Hard R” Lovecraft! *air horns*

- He’s gonna need to keep a level head for this, Tim.

- That’s for sure, Jack. Always keep your wits about you!

- That is, if you haven’t already lost your mind from revelations no man should bear!

- Looks like he’s already running into some trouble with the first trial- And they’re past it already!

- But let’s see how well they do in the second trial!

- We pulled out all the stops on this one...

...and by “all the stops”, I mean ‘ripped the hell off of Indiana Jones’!

Don’t forget Howard...in the Aklo alphabet, ‘Jehovah’ begins with an ‘I’!

- Pretty straightforward, Bob, just gotta find the right tiles to step on --

- Ooh! Do you think he realizes that the words “my father” in that inscription DON’T refer to his father?

- I’m sure he does, John. If the inscription had meant that, it would have said “your father”!

- Appears he does NOT understand this, Rick.

- You know kids these days, Bill, they just don’t got the grammar too good.

- Wait, looks like he’s got another idea...could it be?

- I think it is!

- Looks like he’s spelling out ‘Azathoth’ which IS the correct answer!

- Terrible animation as always, of course.

- No argument there, Dick.

- Just the worst.

- Anyway, it’s on to the third and final trial! This one’s gonna require a lot of creative thinking...

- Looks like he’s planning on reflecting the light from his glowy blue friend, definitely an unconventional solution!

- I’m not sure that’s how physics works, Fred...

- Well, it’s working, Don!

- Well, fuck me in the ass with a Honda, Paul, so it is!

- Just goes to show you can’t trust physics in a place like this.

- No you can’t, Ron.

- I think our boy Howard might just be home free - OH! LOOK at that! A mob of Deep Ones!

- Copy-pasted, by the looks of it!

- Earl, this might be a pickle they’re in now.

waaait a minute...Deep Ones don’t blink!

- Actually, Mark, it seems like they’re cool! They’re just letting him walk out of there.

- Come to think of it, Ted, I think those might just be some set technicians. They’ve been waiting to start disassembling the course, I think.

- Well then, that’s our cue! We have a winner, ladies gents and assorted entities! Thanks for tuning in!

whew, doing those voices was murder on my throat. Now back to the hostage situation:

Nothing much to say here, badguy seemingly wins, activates the ritual, yadda yadda.

oola ooh couchez avec moi, c’est soi?

You can’t really tell from the screencap, but at the crucial moment the book stops working because...

...yeah. I’m not sure ‘deus ex machina’ is the right term for a situation involving actual elder gods, but it sure is a convenient development that in no way hinged on the protagonist’s actions, isn’t it? (also wow. They...just did not bother to give that book any texture here, did they?) Anyhoo, the evil plan fails, miserably,

(I think this was Pepsi’s slogan back in the ‘90s.)

Abdul has finally Outlived His Usefulness™, although he manages a few more lines after being set on fire so I wonder whether that dorky outfit was actually flame retardant.

And there’s Dagon, just standing there awkwardly because this is his place and he actually has people coming over tomorrow so if you all would please hurry up?

The goodguys actually left before Nyarlahotep had even begun soliloquizing back there, and now they’re back safe and sound (except for Ma Lovecraft who is still dying).

Oh, look who it is! Yeah, they’re safe, no thanks to you. Hope you had a nice cup of tea while everyone else was almost dying.

He binds the three journals together into The Necronomicon, which is the only thing that can save Howard’s mother (apparently that requires a higher level of magic than awakening freaking Cthulhu).

Speaking of Mark Hamill, that new Dark Crystal show has been pretty good so far (he’s one of the skeksis in that). Anyways sorry I called you useless, Doc.

lol that bitch is FADED!

*ding* Turkey’s done!

Howard reads from the book to save her. BUT WILL HE BE IN TIME?

My God, she looks like she’s made of vinyl! SHE’S BACK TO NORMAL, EVERYBODY!

There it is, the ONE GOOD BIT in this whole sordid affair. And I’ve capped and posted it, so now you can safely not watch the movie without missing anything.

So Spot (...is he Cthulhu for real now? I don’t think so but...) Must Go Back To His Home Planet Now, His People Need Him. By the way, I am increasingly sure that this is supposed to be R’lyeh:

(sorry, Ruh-LAY)

So the baddies didn’t kill these guys. Ah, too bad, I guess.

Howard shares some meaningful last words with Armitage:

- And they return (via portal) to their home. Yes, their quiet, peaceful home, with its cozy beds and its tranquil garden and their little cat, Ni-

...why, who could THAT be?

I will say this about the animation: it stayed shitty right up to the end.

...

So...not Nick Fury, then.

Right now, I feel, the joke is very specifically on me.

Roll credits, including this bit here about how this was actually adapted from a graphic novel:

Notice that director/producer/voice of Spot/father or husband of half the cast Sean O’Reilly is there, but notice how many other people there are who seem to have had little or nothing to do with this movie. Wonder what that’s about?

If it’s one of those guys that did this credit art - orders of magnitude better than the animation for most of the actual film - it’s nothing short of a travesty that not only were they not involved with the main project but also that we get to see their stuff now just to taunt us with what might have been.

I mean, LOOK at all that! Damn!

“Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental”, says the movie with the child version of a famous horror author as the main character. SURE, WHY NOT.

WELP THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE - well, all she wrote, maybe, but I still have a bit more to add. So yeah, this was on the whole pretty dismal. Not quite as bad as it could have been, I’ll grant, but it missed most of its major cues. I DID like some things - Doug Bradley played a decent Nyarlahotep, the stuff with Azathoth was neat, and Winfield Lovecraft’s character was actually kind of engaging - even funny - at times. AT TIMES. And I will say that, perversely, Abdul Alhazred’s lackluster character design actually kind of stood out - I don’t think you’ll find very many other depictions of him where he’s Just Some Guy (who happens to be a powerful sorcerer). If nothing else, they pretty diligently avoided racializing him (not even a turban!) - yeah, it’s still true that the one evil human is also the only one with any nonwhite identifiers whatsoever (really just the name, in this case) but considering the source material if that’s the most problematic it gets then we got off SUPER easy.

Bad news is, basically everything else about this blows. The animation only hurts if you have eyes, but even the blind can hold O’Reilly accountable for the decision to cast all his kids. Then there’s the fact that the movie tries to bait us with big names, even though two of the top-billed stars (Plummer and Perlman) have probably less than a minute’s worth of lines between them (and ‘lines’ is a bit charitable in Perlman’s case [no disrespect to Ron, you’ll always be my Hellboy]). Seriously, did you even remember Dr. West until I brought him up just now? Wait, no, don’t actually try to recallAAUGH

AAAAAAAHH!

And now the Nyquil’s kickin’ in so I’m gonna have to bow out - but fortunately I’ve said pretty much everything I could think of to say anyway. Perhaps one day, when the stars are right, I might recap the other movies, including Howard’s Mother Eats A Whole Chicken. The future is full of mysteries!

...OK, bye.

[ryanmeft]

What Not To Do in Avengers: Endgame

There’s a lot of theories floating around about what might happen in Avengers: Endgame, the just trailer-ized sequel/part II thingy to Avengers: Infinity War, and the end of the line one way or another for a lot of MCU characters. Some of these theories are wishful thinking and some are a little out there, but few are talking about the biggest issue concerning this movie: it would be very, very easy to ruin it. The hype is huge at this point, and Marvel and the Russo brothers need to deliver a movie that feels like it has impact, even if it IS all grown adults in tights punching other grown adults in tights.

To wit, here’s what needs to NOT happen in Avengers: Endgame. Don’t... Return the “really” dead characters to life

At the end of Avengers: Infinity War, Thanos managed to accomplish his most cherished goal: figuring out which insurance provider really does offer the best choices for himself and his family. He was so happy about this that he was all eureka and snapped his fingers, and half the population of the universe died. This included most of the heroes in the MCU. A few people, however, died without being subjected to The Decimation (that’s what Marvel’s calling it, a fact we know because apparently two or three people actually read tie-in novels). Of those, Idris Elba’s Heimdall will certainly not be back; he’s become a big star since he took the role, and a scepter through the chest was his ticket out of a bit part he’s outgrown. Vision will probably return in some capacity; the planned Scarlet Witch mini-series would be kind of bland without him as her partner, and his death came near the end of the movie, anyway.

Loki and Gamora had a bit more dramatic exit. Loki was choked to death slowly in front of his brother Thor in a surprisingly gruesome scene, having just made a brave-but-poorly-thought-out attempt to assassinate Thanos. He’s got a mini-series coming, too, but it really needs to be set in the past: his death was the perfect ending for his popular character, who always made the cold and calculating decision but ultimately died due to an act of emotional anger for his people and brother. Tom Hiddleston’s been seen on set, either because Marvel is faking us out or because a younger version of him is seen via time travel, but to undo his perfect demise would irreversibly cheapen his character arc. A lot of people expected Loki to eat dirt in Infinity War, as he’d been taken about as far in his story as he could be. Gamora was another matter; pretty much nobody expected the death of the second-in-command of the Guardians of the Galaxy (she’s really the boss, of course, but it’s better to let a guy who calls himself Star-Lord have his fantasy). Even as she fell, we were all expecting a last-minute rescue. That it didn’t come shocked audiences, and should be left that way, especially considering her presence factored into the surprisingly emotional finale of IW.

Get too lazy with the time travel stuff…

Sure, the idea that the remaining Avengers will pull a McFly and go back in time to reverse the Decisnappation COULD just be what Marvel and the Russo bros want you to think is happening…but it seems likely it’s a factor. There’s no realistic way to fix what Thanos did, and time travel is the least bonkers unrealistic way, at least by movie logic. Now, pretty much everyone wants a cameo from Doc Brown. Right? No? That’s just me? But you could make a joke with Thor and the clock tower and the lightn…ok, moving on.

Maybe Chris Lloyd popping in is unlikely, but what is indisputable is time travel could really wreck the already sort-of-thin idea that we should care what becomes of these characters on a long-term basis. If Marvel isn’t kind of careful with the rules they set up, what’s to stop the characters from just bobbing around in time and undoing any serious failures? The extent to which the Avengers can toss time’s salad should be controlled within the narrative, so that they can’t just freely re-write the script.

…but don’t spend a ton of time on it, either

The time travel aspects should be both limited so as not to royally screw with the sense any of this matters, and not overly complicated. This will be the last appearance for Iron Man, Cap and probably Thor, Hulk and Robin Hood. While we don’t want their last bows to take a wheat thresher to the continuity, we also don’t want to get mired down in psuedo-science.

Give us a lame explanation for why Hulk is absent

I think it’s fair to say that Marvel has played incredibly loose in the way Bruce Banner’s relationship with his big green inner metaphor works. In Avengers he switched from the equivalent of a premature orgasm to total control when it was convenient to the plot, and “because the script says so” has pretty much dictated when Banner is and isn’t at the wheel ever since. I actually see this as one of the few really lazy weak spots in their characters: Hulk at his best has always been a metaphor for the monster inside, but the MCU has dropped the ball on that one in favor of more rah-rah moments.

In IW, you may recall the Hulk was turned into the equivalent of a stubborn turd, refusing to come out no matter how much Banner pushed. I speculated that it may be due to Hulk’s animal instincts telling him something about the situation Banner’s more controlled mind doesn’t know…but either way, there needs to be an explanation in Endgame, and it needs to be better than “because we said so”. There’s no indication of any more solo Hulk films or series, so this might be the last we see of the Jolly Green Giant. If Marvel were ever going to make his character halfway consistent, now’s the time.

Spend too much effort on the romances

By far, the most consistent example of “We don’t know where the hell we’re going with this” in the MCU has involved characters gettin’ it on. Thor’s Jane Foster got unceremoniously dropped because she was a very meh character and the person playing her realized she was Natalie Portman and had better things to do, while Valkyrie showed promise as a tougher lover for the Thunder God only to be written out of the movies off-screen. Hulk and Black Widow made enough sense but was poorly set up, came out of nowhere, and nothing was made of it in IW. Cap’s thing with Peggy Carter’s niece was forced and a little weird. And if you can tell me the name of Black Panther’s woman, you officially know more about this stuff than a guy who writes about it on the regular; she was so barely there they didn’t even bother to mention her in Avengers, and no one cared. Only Tony Stark and Pepper Potts have had anything like a relationship that makes sense, and they nearly dismissed that with an off-screen explanation, as well.

The next iteration of the MCU, with younger, fresher characters, should put more effort into developing lasting character relationships that aren’t bromances, and in fact could stand to give the female supporting characters a lot more development, in general. For now, though, they should write off the romantic histories of most of the old guard as a loss. I doubt anyone will notice.

Overemphasize Ant-Man and Captain Marvel

It’s always been clear, and the post-credits scene made it more so, that Captain Marvel, who will make her debut in her own movie in March, will be important in whatever plan is in place to stop Thanos. And the trailer for Endgame lets us know Ant-Man, or at least his access to the Deus Ex Machina that is the Quantum Realm, will also be vital. And both should be vital---to get the other heroes where they need to be. Although I like Anty Boy, he’s not the biggest name in Marvel, and Captain Brie Marvel Larsen is likely just starting her arc in the universe; there will be plenty of time for her later. This movie needs to focus on the last stands and swan songs of characters who have been with us almost since the beginning.

De-emphasize Hawkeye

If you’ve watched the trailer, by now you know Jeremy Renner’s Robin Hood (I think I made that joke already), who was totally absent from Infinity War, is back with a new, darker costume and what looks like a serious hate boner. In fact, he seems to have straight-up murdered the holy crap what is this out of a whole bunch of Yakuza goons in the middle of the street, which judging by Black Widow’s expression is either terrifying or shockingly arousing. For many, including myself, it was the most interesting reveal in the trailer, and the conclusion was immediately reached that his wife and children must have been Thanos-snapped. What else could cause the normally unflappable special forces dude to go goth and start shooting down people like dogs? He’s always been the most under-appreciated Avenger (check him in the first movie; he’s way more bad-ass than the others despite having no super-powers). This one needs to give him a proper send-off.

Avoid the consequences

Throughout this column, I’ve been emphasizing that the classic Avengers need to have a proper exit from the franchise. The most important aspect of that is to make sure that exit involves a heavy toll. They aren’t fighting for this city or even that planet, but for the whole of existence. Although most-if-not-all of their snapped friends will be returning, they need to pay the price to get that done; otherwise, this whole Thanos thing is basically a cartoon with no permanent consequences. This is completely essential to doing this movie right. Don’t chicken out, guys.