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Alastor Hands You the Aux Cord - Alastor x f!reader
Anon asked for: Hello! Love ur work :) Alastor x f!reader fluff & heavy smut inspired by the song “soaked” by shy smith???
Honey, you got a lot more than you bargained for, and even then I¨m not quite sure that I did it correctly. Alas! I hope you enjoy it either way. So sorry this took so long, it was an undertaking.
Summary: I suck at these so just be patient and kind. Reader was a radio/sound engineer in life and begins to work with Alastor rather closely.
Dividers by @konatasoup
Warnings: Listen, we all know Alastor is a Bad Man(tm). In this story and many, many others, Fucked Up Alastor is going to say Fucked Up Things. Alastor is a sentient red flag. I would like to kindly remind you that you need to carefully decide whether or not that's too much for you before you begin to read. I'd hate it if you read and got triggered by some possessive or otherwise red flag dialogue/prose! If it’s not for you you can simply block me and avoid my other fanfiction. You're responsible for your own reading experience! If smut is not for you, this is not for you. Other warnings include briskets, sandwiches, p in v intercourse, I don't know, standard fare, Alastor is a deeply jealous and possessive man, colleagues to lovers, Alastor’s fluffy, fluffy ears are an erogenous zone I don’t care lalalalala
Words: 9521
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It would be VERY helpful for your reading experience if you listen to the provided music! If the response is good there will be a part two :)
SMUT
Masterlist
It was the sensible thing to do, and took surprisingly little effort to get him to agree. All you said was that radio lived on in your lifespan, nearly one hundred years after his death. You asked if, in life, he would have happily adjusted to innovations in radio technology, and you remember the way he looked down at his claws, all tightened into fists that slowly unfurled. He begrudgingly admitted that he would have.
“That type of microphone you’ve got there wasn’t invented until after you died,” you pointed out.
Radio had been your life’s passion in the living world just as it had been for Alastor. You began in university as a DJ, then changed your major to reflect your newfound love. You started off with communications engineering in undergraduate studies and moved on to wireless communications engineering. Twelve years of your life, you had dedicated to radio.
You were the perfect candidate, and best of all you could make yourself obsolete by teaching him what he needed to know, so it was a win all-around. Kinda. It remains to be seen what he would do with you once you became obsolete.
You did, however, strike up a friendship. Alastor would admit readily that you were a good sound engineer and constantly upgraded his equipment. He would also admit, not quite as readily, that speaking to you was pleasant. You never batted an eye while he ripped apart souls, which he found surprising at first, but when you pulled out a sandwich to eat whilst he did so it elevated to…cute. He typically hates things that are cute.
Okay, fine, you’re cute.
As time passed, you grew more comfortable with each other. Sometimes you even offer him pre-soul breaking sandwiches, and Alastor eats them simply because they were offered by you. He has no idea what a “PB&J” is, only that whoever created it must surely be living amongst you all in hell. He always eats them, though. Every last morsel.
Then something quite remarkable happened. Alastor sat you down after an unusually long broadcast, took the pistachios that you offered him, and gave you the best gift you had ever received.
“Only one,” he said, poking your chest several times. “One song of your choosing at the end of my broadcast. Do you understand?”
You remember nodding so hard it almost hurt.
You had tried not to seem too enthused, so as not to betray your true excitement to your finicky friend, but shouted joyfully into a pillow when you got to your hotel room. You rolled all over your bed, still screaming into the pillow, and spent the rest of the night curating various playlists for the post-show tunes.
The two of you became inseparable. When you weren’t on air, you were still working together on scripts, advertising campaigns, marketing strategies, even merchandising, a pencil stuck through your hair, sandwich wrappers discarded haphazardly.
‘I got my soul ripped apart by the Radio Demon and all I got was this fucking shirt’.
You’re more excited about this than him by far, but it was becoming harder and harder to deny you a thing. He’s always criticised Vox’s use of petty merchandise to belittle him, but this was different. Entirely.
It had been a rather destructive day in the radio tower the first time you played a song. There were three soul rendings today, so everything but you was covered in blood and viscera. Alastor, with a small smile, offered you his staff, and explained all you had to do was play a song on your phone while holding it.
It felt special. It almost made your cheeks warm, but that crisis was thankfully averted and you chose a tribute to radio itself as your first ever post-show track.
‘Radio, someone still loves you.’
Alastor didn’t look particularly happy with what he’d heard, but he did give you an amused little pat on the head before taking his staff and leaving the radio tower, still covered in blood.
You remember all of that fondly and take a bite of your sandwich. Alastor takes one bite of his and goes feral.
“Calm down over there,” you chastise. “It’s just pastrami.”
He swallows. “You know my feelings about brisket, darling.”
“Well, I’ll bring you more pastrami in the future, then. Maybe I’ll even make you a brisket someday.”
“Yes, you should,” he almost snaps. “And I’ll have no more ‘peanut butter’, by the way.”
“Do you like the almond butter better?” you ask, offering him another sandwich from the basket you brought with you
“…I prefer the pistachio and cashew one.”
“Okay, I’ll find more of that,” you say before passing him a napkin. You sigh and grab the clipboard set to the wayside. “No souls today.”
“Yes, I am aware,” he says.
“Isn’t that less fun for you?”
Alastor ponders over his answer for a moment. “It is more fun to murder. However, not having one or more to murder also means that no one has challenged or crossed me. That is better in the long run.”
“I can see that logic.” You nod, then go back to the clipboard. “Oh, I can’t be here on Saturday.”
His expression sours and his eyes narrow. “And why is that, darling?”
You smile at him, arms up. “I’m going to Lu Lu World!”
“What in the world is that, darling? Wait a moment.” His eyes narrow anymore. “It has nothing to do with that circus freak does it?”
You purse your lips and tilt your head, staring at him. “You’ve lost me.”
“The hell I have. I find it absolutely unacceptable that you would leave work behind in order to prance around in an amusement park.”
“I don’t plan on prancing, so we’re good,” you say. You wrinkle your nose and chuckle a little at his steadily souring expression. “Tell you what. I’ll make you that brisket.”
“Two briskets,” he’s quick to demand. “No, three. Three briskets, and I’m not sharing with the others like you made me do on Beignet Day.”
“That was never meant to be just for your enjoyment!”
“Well, it should have been!” he snaps.
You laugh again and fold your hands over the clipboard. “I will miss work on Saturday to be escorted around Lu Lu World by its namesake and you will receive three briskets at a time of your choosing. You’re in for a treat, I make the best brisket. My husband loved it.”
A pregnant silence fills the radio tower.
“I find it equally unacceptable for you to have a husband. No, no more of that,” he says finally.
“I’d like to think I’ll find love again someday!” you say, laughing.
He huffs. “Is it a date?”
“Is what a date?”
Alastor rolls his eyes. “Your petty little outing to the amusement park with the circus freak!”
“He’s the King of Hell, not a circus freak!” you exclaim.
“If he doesn’t want to be called a circus freak he should dress like an adult male,” he says.
At that, you sit up straight, arms folded, and stare at him. “Do you really want to go there? Making fun of how he dresses?”
“My manner of dress is unimpeachable! Everything is just so!” Alastor gestures at his suit, then narrows his eyes again. “You will not marry him.”
“Marriage isn’t on the table, I’m just visiting his park with him. It’s closed for the day, no one but us! Oh, but also you can’t tell me who I can and can’t marry,” you say.
“There will be no marriages at all! We have work to do, important work!” He closes his eyes, touches his forehead, and growls. “Do not sass me.”
You take another bite out of your sandwich. “So I won’t be here Saturday.”
“…Fine. I can go back to the Stone Age for one damn day.”
You groan. “I’m glad no one else knows of your flair for the dramatic.”
“And you’d do well to keep it that way,” he says. He holds up three fingers. “Three briskets. I want them all at once.”
“I don’t have the time to do them today, as you said, we have important-ish work to do,” you say.
He eyes you again. “Three. Briskets.”
You throw your hands up. “Fine! I hope you get a tummy ache!”
“I will not! I will enjoy the briskets and be fine!” Alastor adjusts his butterfly tie and stands up from his chair. “And you will make up for lost time from your Saturday outing.”
“No I won’t,” you say. “I’m under no such obligation to work every single day with no breaks. I just haven’t had anything better to do in a while.”
Alastor’s hand smacks against a panel. “No! You’re to work with me every day, that is the arrangement! Good god, woman, you are so insolent today. All of hell listens to these broadcasts. I do not know how to do what you do. You have made yourself necessary and now you want to cut and run so you can have intercourse with that circus freak in a hall of mirrors.”
You tilt your head back and laugh.
He looks unamused by this. “What? What is it? Why are you laughing?”
“I suppose I’d better fuck him in the hall of mirrors, then, if you think the opportunity presents itself.” You wipe your mouth with a napkin and put everything else in the garbage for Niffty to collect.
Alastor’s ears flatten. “I do not like you today.”
“Nah, you adore me.” You look closer at the agenda for today and begin warming up the necessary equipment. You pull on your headphones “Thirty seconds, Al.”
He nods and repeats it back to you. “Thirty seconds, Al.”
By the end of the show, you’ve already got your topical track selection queued up. Alastor stands up and stretches before giving the staff to you and rifling around for more sandwiches in the basket.
‘They come running just as fast as they can ‘cause every girl crazy bout a sharp-dressed man’
You lip sync along, not realising you’re being watched. Alastor smiles to himself and waits for his staff to be given back to him. When it is, he almost remarks about your Saturday outing. Almost.
In your bedroom, you stretch and yawn. It’s late and you need to be with Alastor relatively early, so you go about your nightly routine. Brushed teeth, silky pyjamas, all lotioned up, feeling amazing. That is, until you walk back to the area with the bed. You scream and jump, but your surprise is quickly replaced by anger. Alastor laughs from his comfy position against your pillows.
He points at you. “You are the chicken in this relationship.”
You get in beside him and try to shove him out of the bed, chuckling as he easily resisted. “What are you doing in here?”
He’s still laughing. “I came to collect you! Emergency broadcast.”
You groan loudly. “Absolutely fucking not!”
“Yes!” He wraps an arm around you and drags you up from the bed. “It won’t take too long.”
“Who the hell pissed you off this much that you have to do this right now, at two in the morning?” you asked.
The answer makes your stomach drop.
“Husker!” he says excitedly.
You flail. “No. No! No, Alastor, you can’t do that!”
“I assure you that I can,” he says, now picking you up and carrying you towards the radio tower. “Husker’s soul is mine to do what I want with it, and he knew that before he started making trouble tonight.”
“Alastor!” you shout. “Put me down!”
He looks confused, but carefully sets you down. There are tears on your face that confound him. “What is the matter, my dear?”
“You can’t kill Husk.” You wipe your eyes and sniffle. “You can’t. I know you can in the literal sense of the word. I know that you can, but you can’t, please, I am begging you not to do this. Please, Alastor.”
“Do not mourn for him,” Alastor says. “No one mourned him in life.”
“I think that’s not true,” you say, but take his hands, squeezing them. “Just, just tell me what he did. I’ll fix it. I swear, I’ll fix it.”
Alastor looks down at your hands, so much smaller than his, trying to calm him down. “You really care, hm?”
“Alastor, please, please,” you whisper, squeezing his hands again. “Alastor, don’t do it. I have never asked you for a thing and I never will again if you just please don’t do this. Please don’t kill him, he’s my friend. He’s a soul in the bank for you, but he’s my friend.”
He’s quiet for a very long time, watching your breakdown. You know how it looks. He hates weakness, he hates vulnerability—
Alastor puts his hand on the side of your face and pushes hair away. “Okay, darling. If you want Husker to keep dusting bottles and consuming their entire contents, then that you shall have.”
You feel embarrassed all of a sudden and wipe your eyes. “How about I make you a brisket instead?”
“No brisket is required,” he says. “If you want it then you will have it. I am a man of my word. I will find other means to discipline Husker.”
“Don’t hurt Angel,” you say immediately. “Please. They’re all afraid of you already, you don’t have to do anything to keep them in line. I don’t know what Husk did, but I don’t believe it warrants his death and it definitely doesn’t mean you can do something bad to the only thing he loves more than booze or gambling.”
“Okay,” Alastor agrees.
You blink. “I know it’s not that simple. What do you want?”
“Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?” he asks.
“Me? Personally?” You think for a moment before shaking your head. “No. But—“
“I’ve never given you a reason to doubt me,” Alastor says. “I have worked with you closely for months now. I do what I say I will do. If you want that damned cat and his spider to live and be unharmed then I will give you that.”
“What do you want in exchange? Don’t say my soul, I’m not giving it.”
“No, not your soul,” he says. “A simple deal.”
You stand up straighter. “A deal? What?”
“I let Husker and the spider go unharmed and you will in exchange never have intercourse with the circus freak.”
Your arms cross. “Alastor, that’s fucked up.”
“I know!” he says warmly.
After a moment, you reach your hand out towards him. He takes it in his and squeezes it, gentle and warm. You’ve seen his power, the green flashes of light.
But there are no green lights. His tentacles remain hidden. The floor doesn’t shake.
It wasn’t a real deal, but you said nothing about that. This was all very strange, and you didn’t know what to make of it. Taking his hand, you give it a pull.
“Come on,” you say. “Let’s go on air anyway. Come.”
He tuts at you. “Rather bossy tonight, my dear.”
“I’ll make sandwiches,” you offer, and he nods.
“Yes, you will make sandwiches—pastrami.”
‘I am just living to be lying by your side but I'm just about a moonlight mile on down the road’
Once Alastor takes the staff from you, he notices that you’ve fallen asleep in your chair. He rides the dark with you in his arms, depositing you safely into your bed.
The next night, for some reason, Husk makes sure your dirty martinis come with two olives and no complaints.
“You will go away from the hotel.”
You look up from your phone, your feet up on one of the panels you’ve been working on. “Excuse me?”
Alastor is stern, serious. His eyes betray no laughter, not a single joke. “You will leave the hotel.”
“No,” you say immediately.
“The Extermination is exactly one week from now, and you will leave the hotel. You will go someplace safe.”
“No,” you say again. “No, hell no, I’m not leaving you all by yourselves.”
“You would be more of a hindrance than help,” Alastor says, and ooph, that one hurt.
“You don’t even know how to defend yourself,” he continues.
“I’ve been doing my best,” you say.
“And that is not good enough, darling.”
Your chest falls and rises. “So you think I have nothing to offer to protect my friends and this hotel?”
Alastor pauses for a moment. “No. I know for a fact that you do.”
“Then what?” you ask. “Why do you want me to leave?”
Again, a few moments pass in silence before Alastor sits beside you. “You would trade something very precious to save this hotel and all of the fools who reside in it.”
”What? What is it? What am I going to give up that’s so special?”
“Your life,” he says. “If you are here, you will sacrifice your life in a trice just as soon as you see someone else is in danger. And I cannot have that. You will leave, this is not a request.”
Your eyes widen and you shake your head. “No. This is my home. This is where I work. This is my family—“
“You will listen to me now and you will listen good,” he says gravely. “I can protect this hotel and kill Adam or I can protect you. Those are the choices. I trust you will not make the selfish one.”
You close your eyes and let out a deep breath. You feel a cry coming on, but head it off at the pass. “What about you?”
“What about me, darling?” Alastor asks. “There is no way for you to help me. You know that.”
“I’m going to look like a coward,” you say.
“I do not care,” he says. “And you shouldn’t either. My priorities are to kill Adam and to protect you. Therefore, you will leave to someplace safe and you will wait for me to come for you.”
You scoff. “Where’s safe? Where’s safe during an Extermination?”
“They are coming to the hotel first and we will not allow them to go any further. You will be safe where I send you and you will stay there.”
Then he does something he’s never done before. Alastor pulls you into his embrace. “You have no idea what I would do to save you. No idea, you stupid, silly girl. You must go. You must.”
“Okay, okay,” you say finally.
“I could give or take almost anyone else in this boring little hovel of a hotel, but I can’t give you. I won’t. It’s very likely this radio tower will need some manner of repair. Who else would do it but you?” He holds you a little tighter.
You close your eyes and lean against him. “I really don’t want to leave you.”
“Because you are an idiot.”
At that, you start hitting him anywhere you can, but the two of you dissolve into laughter.
Eventually, you sigh. “When am I leaving?”
Alastor hums. “Tonight.”
“What?” you look at him again. “Why tonight?”
“I will have time to prepare. I won’t spend days worrying about getting you to leave. It is better that I have this time to focus,” he says. “I will take care of everything. Think of it as more of a vacation than anything else.”
“I won’t, but thank you,” you say. “What will you tell everyone?”
Alastor tilts his head. “About what?”
“About forcing me to leave the hotel because I’m apparently too weak and stupid to fight for it,” you say.
He tsks and shakes his head. “I do not care. Neither should you. But I suppose I will just tell them approximately one-quarter of the truth.”
“Which is what?” you ask.
“That I put my foot down and wouldn’t allow you to die for any of them.” Alastor rubs his face against yours. A confusing gesture, but not altogether out of place, given the tenor of the rest of the interaction.
“I don’t want to die, but—“
“But nothing,” he says. He gives you his staff. “Play one last song.”
You wince. “Okay, grim. No. I’m not playing a ‘last song’.”
He huffs. “The last song until next week, when all of this is over.”
“When all of this is over…” You lean back in your seat, tapping the staff as you think. “Can you…can we hop on the broadcast? For a while? Make it my last proper show until all of this is over?”
You swallow, your throat feeling tight.
“No, darling,” he says. “Not this time. Pick a good song.”
‘Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me! Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me! Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me! Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me!’
Alastor stares at you strangely throughout the entire song. He never once tries to take the staff away from you, not even during the repeated profanity—something that was forbidden. He says nothing of it when the song is done and he takes his staff back into his possession.
“Come.” He holds his arm out for you and you take it. You let him lead you out of the radio tower and you become unsettled as you descend the steps.
“Alastor, I don’t like this,” you say nervously.
“And neither do I,” he says as he guides you to your hotel room.
“Where are you sending me?”
He suddenly stops you once you’re inside the room, his clawed hand coming down to grip your shoulder. Hard.
“Alastor,” you chastise.
His grip only tightens. “I made a bargain for this and you will not piss it away.”
The night crashes down on you in the quiet of your bedroom.
“But where? You made a deal?”
“No, not a deal. More of a…trade which does not benefit me at all, save for it keeping you safe.”
“Alastor, where?” you ask, softly yet firmly.
“In an underground bunker beneath Rosie’s Emporium,” Alastor says finally. “No one would ever think to look there, not with all of Cannibal Town at the hotel, stupidly giving their own lives. Those lives mean nothing to me, nothing at all, but yours is something precious.”
“I’m just your engineer, you know.”
Alastor huffs. “No, you’re not.”
You lift a brow. “I’m not?”
“No.” He pauses. “You also make sandwiches.”
With a little laugh, you nod. “Pastrami.”
“Indeed. Pastrami. Now, pack up, darling. I’ll escort you to Cannibal Town. No, no one will try to eat you. You’ll be with my dearest friend, Rosie. You will be safe with her. If I had any doubts I would send you elsewhere.”
“Okay,” you say softly. “It’s going to be boring without you.”
“I, on the other hand, will finally know peace after six months.”
“Oh, shut the fuck up.”
“Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me.”
You laugh far too hard for it to be so late at night, but Alastor is smiling genuinely.
For a tenth of a second something changes. The way you look at each other…
“So,” he says, sitting at the foot of your bed, one ankle over his knee. “Have you been abiding by our agreement?”
You pull a suitcase from underneath the bed. “Which one? There are new ‘agreements’ every day.”
“Intercourse with Lucifer,” he says flatly.
“Oh Alastor, come on. What if he and I were in love?”
He just glares at you, darkness in his eyes.
“I haven’t seen the man in weeks!”
“Aha!” He points at you. “You would do it if given the chance, wouldn’t you?”
You tilt your head. “Why do you care so much, Al?”
“Because I want to separate him from all possible joy,” he says. “There’s no chance of doing that with Charlie, but I will deny him you.”
“You’re so fucking weird.”
“Shut up and pack.”
“Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me.”
Alastor picks up one of your pillows and throws it at you.
The extended visit with Rosie would be nice if every moment didn’t bring you anxiety so crippling that it cramped your stomach. She was kind, a gracious hostess, and she didn’t ask any prying questions, so neither did you. You were curious about the ‘trade’ Alastor had made for you—for you…
You leave every day for food, because you just cannot trust the provenance of anything in Cannibal Town, no matter how kind Rosie is. You listen to Alastor’s sporadic broadcasts and feel vindicated in how shitty it is without you. Gives you a smile. It sustains you to know that this man still needs you.
On your third day of going out for burritos, you receive a text message that makes you grin, fills you with joy you haven’t felt since you were yeeted from the hotel.
‘New ducks, want to see?’
The second you text back yes, a glowing portal opens and a hand yanks you inside.
“Lucifer!” you cry out happily, hugging him close.
He returns the embrace readily, arms tight around you. “I’m so glad you agreed! Here, let me show you the duck workshop.”
You smile and let him guide you. You and Lucifer just..mesh. It’s always been easier to talk to him than virtually anyone else. For as much as you listen to him about ducks, he listens to you about radio, as long as you don’t mention Alastor. That’s always been an unspoken understanding.
Lucifer rambles happily all the way to the workshop and you happily listen. Once inside, he gives you a little tour. The place is quite literally filled with rubber ducks of all different kinds—there was even a set of KISS ducks.
“This is my latest work,” Lucifer says, showing you a row of little ducks. He picks up one. “This one has wings just like mine! Well, you can’t currently see my wings, but that’s what they look like. There’s six, they’re red, that’s…pretty much it…”
He sounds strangely nervous.
“And this one’s Charlie…”
Yes, nervous.
“Maggie,” he says.
“Actually, her name is Vaggie,” you correct him.
“Oh, golly!” He covers his eyes with his hands, his face turning red. “I’ve been calling her Maggie every time and Charlie never corrected me.”
You chuckle softly. “It’s fine, I’m sure it’s fine. Don’t worry about that.”
He peeks at you from between his fingers. “You really think it’s okay?”
“Charlie probably just felt too awkward to correct you. You know how she is.”
“I hope so,” Lucifer says. “This one is the porn star. He shoots webs!”
You laugh when he demonstrates. “That’s so cool!”
“And this one,” he picks up one of the ducks gingerly, “this one is you!”
You gasp at the attention to detail and laugh joyfully. “That’s so cute, a little me!”
“She has a little radio and everything. And—“ Lucifer presses a button on the underside of the duck and the radio starts to play from its mouth. He looks at you with a wide grin and elbows you gently a few times. “Ah? Ah?”
You laugh again and clap. “Bravo, you outdid yourself. I never thought you would outdo the back-flipping rubber ducky that spits fire.”
“I surprise myself all the time,” Lucifer says happily, placing your duck back down beside his. “Do you have time for a drink?”
You laugh. “Honey, I’ve got nothing but time.”
“Good!” He takes your hand and guides you out of the workshop and through the halls until you arrive at a lavish lounge. He gestures for you to take a seat. “What’ll you have?”
“Oh, whatever you’re having, please.”
Lucifer pours two whiskeys and sits in the chair across from yours beside a fire that emits a cool breeze.
“Thank you so much,” you say when he hands yours to you.
“It’s nothing,” he says. “Charlie told me…you left the hotel.”
You take a deep breath. “Yes, I did. I’ve been staying in Cannibal Town.”
“Why did you go?” he asks softly.
Now you sigh, hoping to keep all emotion from your voice. “Alastor thinks I’m more of a hindrance than a help and wants me to stay away.”
His diamond pupils constrict. “What an asshole.”
“He needs me to help repair the radio tower, when all is said and done.”
“You’re too good for this, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
Lucifer takes a drink. “I mean you’re too good to work on a show that’s just screams and crappy puns. That guy is a clown. You should host your own show.”
“Oh, I haven’t been on air in like…fourteen years. I don’t even know what I would talk about or play. I like being an engineer. It’s cathartic to me. Alastor might not have the most exciting show around, and he’s absolutely horrible, but it’s…hm, I’ve made it sound really bad, haven’t I?”
“Why do you give that guy your loyalty? Why do you feel so beholden to him?” he asks.
Your focus softens. “I…we have a good time together. I think. He likes the sandwiches that I make him.”
“I can almost guarantee that this loyalty means nothing to him,” Lucifer says. “I’m not saying that to hurt you.”
You sigh. “Yeah, I know Luci.”
“Why do you stay, then? Is he paying you?”
“Actually yeah, in a way he does.”
Lucifer cocks a brow and motions for you to continue.
“Oh, he just gives me things, not money. He doesn’t, uh, properly believe that hell should have a currency system. In his opinion it should all be bartering, like soul deals. Therefore, he barters with me. I give him sandwiches and briskets and engineering services, he gives me…just about anything. Last week he gave me a ruby necklace that must be worth a few thousand dollars.”
“You give him briskets?”
You nod. “Oh yeah, there’s always some brisket action going on. He doesn’t know it yet, but there’s a venison brisket in the works.”
“So you work together, you make him food, he gives you expensive jewellery?”
“Other things too, but yes.” You nod again. “That’s the gist. We have a good back-and-forth, but my favourite is getting to play music at the end of his broadcasts.”
Lucifer smiles softly at you. “Those are the only parts worth tuning in for.”
Your face lights up., a big grin and bright eyes. “You’ve heard?”
He nods. “Yeah. I try to catch it. The last one said fuck a lot.”
You laugh, head back against the chair. “Yeah, it did.”
“I’ll give you a radio station of your own. Be his competition,” he said.
Now you sigh. “I actually do like to work with him a lot. He’s…he’s not all bad. He’s always done right by me.”
Lucifer scoffs. “That won’t last. You can’t seriously rely on that to stay stable. Just as soon as he decides he doesn’t need you, he’ll get rid of you. Somehow or another. He’s just…one of the worst sorts of sinners, and he’s proud to be the way that he is. And you? You’re hardly like a sinner at all. I always seem to forget it.”
It’s hard to hear those things about Alastor, even harder because you know they’re probably in some way true.
You’re lost in thought until you hear him repeating your name. “Oh! So sorry, million miles away.”
“Let me get you another drink. Do you want something other than whiskey, maybe?” he asks, sounding somewhat insecure, a little tremor in his voice. “W-what do you normally take?”
You play with a rubber duck on the table and hope it doesn’t spit fire at you. “Dirty martini, two olives. Sounds weird, giving the king of hell a drink order.”
“Nonsense!” Lucifer comes over with a little drink tray, all cheerful. Sweet. He looks so happy that it warms you.
“I should see you more,” you say. “You’re fun to be around and I love ducks.”
He gives a nervous laugh and sits down, passes your drink to you. “You should definitely see me more! Gosh, that would be terrific. I can make you so many ducks!”
“What are you going to work on next?” you ask.
He winks. “I’ll keep you apprised.”
You wink back, smiling. “I’ll be waiting.”
God, there was nothing you wouldn’t give to be on air with Alastor right now. It hits you, causes a slight tremor in your body.
Lucifer gasps. “Are you okay? Is it the drink? I don’t actually know what a dirty martini is so I…May have poisoned you?”
“No! No!” You laugh and shake your head. “No, the drink is fine. To make a martini dirty you just put a bit of olive brine in.”
“Let me try again,” he says, but you stand and stop him.
“Luci, no, really, it’s okay,” you say. “Promise. See?” You drain the contents of the wine glass he had served the ‘martini’ in. Your lower eyelid gives you away, though.
“Oh God,” Lucifer says, hand covering his eyes.
You pull it away gently. “It’s okay, Luci.”
You stay that way, eyes on each other, for a moment that stretches indefinitely.
By the end of it, Lucifer kisses you. Hesitant, gentle. His hand reaches the back of your neck and by now you’re kissing back. Things are happening quickly. Somehow you wind up on one of the couches together, your back to the cushion, him on top of you…
Oh, no.
You break the kiss and sit up. “Sorry. Sorry, Luci. Sorry.”
“Did I do something wrong?” he asks in rushed voice, a slight shake to it.
“No.” You rub your eyes and smack your forehead.
All you could think of was Alastor. The little promise you made in exchange for Husk’s life. You doubted that he would actually kill Husk if he found out…but you couldn’t handle how…he would react.
“Lucifer, I…” But you couldn’t tell him that Alastor was the one keeping him from getting laid.
“I don’t understand,” Lucifer says. “I’m really sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” you say softly, squeezing his hand. “I can’t help but notice you’re still wearing your ring.”
“Oh, is that why…? Oh, no, sweetheart, no, I just…Lilith isn’t going to come back to me. I can take it off, it’s just hard to when it’s been…such a long time, being married. I can take it off, sweetheart, don’t worry.”
You squeeze his hand again, gently. “It’s time for me to leave.”
“Oh…Okay,” he says softly. “Yes, of course. You don’t have to stay, just…I don’t want this to be the last time I see you.”
You smile at him, trying your best to instill confidence. “You’ll see me again. Show me to the door?”
“No, absolutely not,” he says. “It’s dangerous! I’ll take you back to Cannibal Town. That’s also…pretty dangerous, you know.”
“Not for me.” That you can say with confidence of your own.
“Come on.” Lucifer reaches for your hand. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do it again. Just take my hand and I’ll bring you back. You don’t even know where you are right now.”
Well, he’s got you beat there. You squeeze his hand one more time. “Okay. Let’s go.”
You close your eyes for this part.
When you hear a whispered goodbye, you open your eyes and you’re standing before the Cannibal Town gates, alone.
“Do you think that you walk freely all throughout hell, not a care in the world, for no reason?”
Your whole body tightens at the sound of his voice. “Have you just been standing there waiting for me to show up?”
“Not quite,” Alastor says. “Answer my question.”
You sigh, eyes rolling hard. “I’m sure it’s because of you.”
“Correct! So you’re at least that smart.”
You trudge out a path set to finally get you the illusive burrito. “Alastor, I’m not in the mood. I’m hungry, I’m tired, and my absence is definitely noticed at the hotel.”
He appears in front of you. “And how do you know that? Who told you, hm?”
You sigh. “You know who I was with?”
Alastor’s claws grab your arm and then you’re in the radio tower. It nearly knocks the breath out of you and you collide with one of the panels.
“God!” You wince as your knee crashes against a sharp corner. “Hey asshole, I thought I wasn’t allowed to be here! I am so sick of being yanked around today! All I wanted—“
“I ask so little of you,” he interrupts.
Your jaw drops. “Are you serious? You? Ask me? For little?”
“The only commitment I have ever asked of you is not to have sex with that fucking man!”
“And I didn’t!” you shout before pulling out your phone. “Here, see? He just wanted to show me new rubber ducks that he made. And you know what? Mine was adorable, and she played radio when you pressed her button.”
“Am I supposed to understand this innuendo?” he asks, his voice rising.
“I didn’t sleep with him, Alastor! I don’t know what else you want me to say! I almost did, I would have, and it’s all your fucking fault that I didn’t. Someone expressed interest in me and I couldn’t act on it because I made some fake pact with you over it. I should have, God knows I need it.”
“Oh do you?” Alastor steps closer, but you don’t back down.
“Yes!” you yell. “Yes I do, but the only fucking thing I ever do is go on the goddamn radio with you!”
“Such a horrible fate!”
You cover your face with curling fingers. “Take me back to Rosie’s. Take me back to Rosie’s, Alastor. You don’t want me here, remember?”
“Of course I want you here, you fucking imbecile!”
Your anger ebbs slightly. “You do?”
“Yes! I want all of the things you do and I want them all the time! I tried to make my own sandwiches and everything! I was self-sufficient before you, you know. I never needed anyone for anything, then you walked into this hotel and insisted your way into my life, wrecking it up as you went!” Alastor takes a deep breath, trying to ground himself, trying to calm himself. “So now that I need you and go to great pains to keep you safe, you tell me that you want to sleep with that little blond gremlin?”
“How were the sandwiches?”
“Dry and uninteresting!” Alastor grabs you by your arms. “God damn you!”
“What? What?” you yell. “What do you want, Alastor? As far as I can tell, you got me out of the hotel, out of your way, right where you wanted me to be. I was going out for a fucking burrito because I can’t trust the food in Cannibal Town!”
“I advised Rosie very carefully about your dietary preferences,” he says.
“Well, hell, thanks,” you say in a much quieter tone. After a moment, you go sit in your usual spot. “Why did you bring me here, Alastor? My name must be mud around here.”
“No, it isn’t.” Alastor sits across from you. “They just blame me, and that is fine.”
“I really think you two should put all this behind you,” you say.
“The two of us? We won’t be putting anything behind us, darling.”
“Actually!” You point at him. “I was talking about you and him. The guy you call a circus freak, a blond gremlin.”
“Ha! No. Try again, dearest.”
You just roll your eyes and rub your temples. “I’m seriously so hungry and so tired. What do you want to hear?”
“I—.” Alastor cuts himself off. “You. And I…it’s your fault, all of this is your fault!”
“Okay! Fine! It’s my fault. Now what do you want to do?” you ask.
Alastor jerks you up from your seat and kisses you, hard. You feel his fingertips fan over the tops of your shoulders, drumming once before holding tight.
It’s so absolutely stunning that it takes a moment to respond at all, but that doesn’t seem to slow him down. Your heart beats so hard in your chest that you can almost hear it, and, oh, damn, this is what had been missing, fulfilling a craving that you had never known. This was what blood was for, what hands were for, why breath existed.
His hands move lower down your body as the quick seconds pass like butterflies all down your skin and to your bones.
You pull away just to catch a breath and his whole body tenses.
“What?” you ask, panting.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks.
You shake your head. “No, Al, not even a little bit. Just couldn’t breathe, blood’s all rushing.”
Alastor’s fingertips trail deliciously above your belly. “Do you know what I want?”
You swallow, lips pressing together. “Tell me.”
His thumb traces down your throat now. “I want to possess you so completely that you forget all but my name.”
His lips follow the path of his hands, surprisingly soft and warm against your neck. “Everything about you was made for me. Everything. I am never letting you go, do you understand me?” His tone was gravely serious, but with an undercurrent of…love. Yes, it was love, yearning and…maybe a bit of uncertainty. He could not hide that, not from you.
“Let’s go to my room,” you say quietly when he pulls away, and in an instant you’re there. Everything looks the same, thankfully. You go to the bed and sit at the foot of it, leaning back on your elbows.
Alastor comes and stands before you, just looking down, watching. When he finally moves, it’s to put both hands underneath your shirt and push it up, every bit of skin revealed covered in goosebumps. He slowly pushes the shirt up and up until your arms lift and it comes over your head.
“Why are you choosing to do this now?” you ask as he works on your bra.
“Because you said that you needed it and I take your needs very seriously,” he responds.
“Whoa.” You grab at my hands. “No, it’s not just me, you have to be into it too.”
Alastor laughs suddenly. “How about I show you how ‘into it’ I am? Kind of you to make certain, darling.”
“I don’t ever want to make you feel like you have to, because you’re…”
He plays with one of your exposed breasts thoughtfully. “You are kind for that, too. Perfect, really. Darling, I do whatever feels good, in all things that I do. This is good, I have simply never felt that way before you and your goddamn radio expertise and your fucking sandwiches and, oh, the briskets.”
Alastor sighs and moves on to the other one. “I have never wanted this before, and that is meaningful to me. It isn’t all I want, but I want you in all other ways so much that it makes me crave you. My hands on your body, your hands on mine. I’ve waited long enough to know that I am certain. Are you?”
“You are a discovery,” you say. “You unlocked things I didn’t realise were there. I want you badly.”
“It’s not just what the spider calls ‘general horniness’?”
You pull him down and kiss him several times before responding. “No, it isn’t. If it wasn’t specific to you, I could just as well bedded Luci. I had every opportunity earlier tonight. But I was always going to turn him down. I did so because I thought of how disappointed and angry you would have been.”
“You’re goddamn right I would have been,” he says as he climbs over you. “So perfect, just for me…”
You like the weight of him on top of you. He’s careful not to squish you, but it feels so warm and solid. There’s a shiver up your spine as he touches you, as this coat and shirt brush against your breasts. You go to card your fingers through his hair and accidentally brush against the base of one of his ears and you can see the physical reaction, the little tremors of pleasure, the moan of an ecstasy promised.
“Okay?” you ask gently, doing it again.
Alastor nods quickly. “Yes, don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.”
You played with his ear while his tongue, lips, and teeth made their way across your throat and neck. The higher you went, the more aggressive he got, leaving little nips and bites everywhere.
You push him when you decide more clothes have to come off—his in particular. He looks confused for a half-second before you’re carefully removing his coat. You place it carefully on a chair near the bed, but almost rip the shirt off of him.
He gives a little huff of laughter. “Eager, are we darling?”
“Oh, you have no idea,” you say, hauling him in to kiss him again.
You love the feeling of your bare chests pressed together. Alastor’s breathing starts to come more quickly than before.
It’s you going after his neck, this time. You can hear something strangled in his throat, the vibrations of it against your lips. “You don’t have to hide anything from me.”
“Forgive me, darling. I am new to this.”
“Is it the very first time?”
He hums. “Technically no. Once, when I was a teenager, a very long time ago. I barely remember it at all, but I know it was nothing like this.”
You smile against his neck and nuzzle softly. “Doesn’t matter, you’ll know what to do.”
“I have every confidence in us both. We know each other on a professional and emotional level of intimacy, I doubt physical intimacy will be the thing that does us in.”
“It may be a bit early days, but I hope nothing ever does,” you say.
He cradles the back of your head to keep your lips close to his neck. He huffs. “Early days, my ass. If I was not sure about you I would not have started anything. If any part of you is unsure, I will make it sure. I promise that I won’t be a regret.”
You kiss your way down the side of his neck. “Lucifer would have been a regret. You will not be.”
He huffs. “As gratifying as that is to hear, please do not mention the circus freak during physical intimacy ever again. Or ever again in general, if possible.”
You laugh softly and hold him close. “I’ll never mention him in this context ever again, I promise.”
“I am much obliged, my love.” Alastor tugs at the jeans you’re wearing, but, having no experience with such garments, he doesn’t seem to realise they have to be unzipped first.
You reach between your bodies to help him out.
“Such complicated garments,” he says beneath his breath.
“No more complicated than yours! Your trousers unzip too, don’t they?” you ask.
“It is called a double standard, darling, and as per usual, unfortunately for you, it works out in my favour.” Alastor gets you down to your underwear and plays with the elastic waistband. “I would like to make something abundantly clear to you, darling. I will give you this one last chance.”
“For what?” you ask, kissing down his neck, the tip of his ear between your fingers. You feel it twitch.
“No, no, stop that for a moment, darling,” he says, so you do. When you’ve stopped and he’s got you looking at him again, he continues. “For just a moment, while you listen to this. I am telling you right now that you are reaching the point of no return. Once I have taken you, you will belong to me for eternity. That is not a hyperbole, it is reality. I will never allow you to leave me. Along with that promise, I promise to keep you safe, always, just as I am now, even if it means temporarily being away from me. I promise to love you. I promise you will want for nothing; everything that is in my power to give you, which is exhaustive and far-reaching, any little want or need you have, I will give it to you.”
You smile at him. “I don’t have as much to offer, but I’ll be the best damn radio engineer, the best damn brisket-maker, the best damn friend, and the best damn…”
“Mate,” he supplies.
“The best damn mate, I’ll be that,” you promise.
“You accept?” Alastor asks, and when you nod, he kisses you hard. “You are perfect. So good. And you understand? Completely? You have no doubts? Because there will be no other appropriate time to feel them. This is a permanent arrangement that you should not take lightly.”
“Trying to talk me out of it?”
“Trying not to be a regret,” he says, and it makes your expression warm.
“You aren’t and you won’t be,” you promise. “You were the answer to all the questions I didn’t know I was asking of myself from the moment I met you. I didn’t know, but it was always there, and now, like…I don’t know how to describe it. There’s not a lot of blood flowing to my brain, you know.”
He chuckles once and nods. “Then I will not ask you again. It is settled now, is it?”
“It is.”
“Good.” Alastor hooks his thumb into the elastic of your underwear indelicately and pulls them down and off your body.
You don’t even know how many naked people Alastor has seen. It’s possible he hasn’t seen another person naked since the first time with someone, so many years ago. He seems to know exactly what he’s doing, though.
“Well, now that the matter is settled.” Alastor lifts you up and places your head on a pillow. “There is something I have wanted to do since I met you. It was a strange craving, something that should have warned me of what was to come.”
“What’s the strange craving?” you ask, but rather than answer verbally he rolls his tongue between your leg, right against your clit, and you moan rather loudly with surprise.
Alastor laughs quietly to himself. “Enjoying yourself, darling?”
“Ohhhh God,” was all you could manage.
He licks your clit again before his tongue dips inside you, and when it does, Alastor elongates it—this shocks you, causes a gasp and a full-body shiver. You never thought such a thing was possible, and it’s certainly…a new experience. He rubs at your clit with his thumb while his tongue works inside you. He keeps your legs apart with his broad shoulders, tongue massaging against your walls until he reaches a spot that makes you scream. He laughs softly against your flesh and you’re panting now.
“Alastor…” Your legs tense up around him, muscles straining. He’s moaning against you as he works your body like he owns it, and maybe he does now. Your thighs tense around him and you…you’re getting louder.
“Is there something you can do about the noise?” you ask, even though you hate stopping him.
He keeps rubbing your clit while he speaks. “I can. But I will not. Louder.”
Alastor goes right back to it, his tongue working you hard, and he forces you to get louder just from the way his tongue moves against your walls.
“Oh, fuck…Oh, Al, don’t stop, please don’t stop…yeah…yeah, like that, like that…” Your breath comes in harder and harder, faster and faster, until you’re screaming, until your thighs are aching, until your pussy is so overstimulated that he pulls back with an enormous grin on his face.
He sucks one of your nipples into his mouth, but mercifully only briefly. “Tell me when I can take you.”
“Just a moment,” you pant. “Not a long wait, just a few minutes.”
“Very good,” Alastor says. “I’ll take other pleasure from other parts of your body in the meantime then, darling.”
“Yeah,” you whisper. “You do that, Al. Fucking hell.”
His tongue swirls along your nipple. “Yes darling?”
“You really took that one from the soul,” you say with a soft, shaky laugh. You nudge his shoulder. “Okay. I’m ready.”
“You’re sure?”
You nod a few times. “Yeah, yeah. Ready to go.”
You press your back down against the blankets, your head flat against the pillow. Alastor kneels between your knees and shoves them far apart, making plenty of room for himself. You’re silently grateful that he still seems to know exactly what to do—you’d gladly teach him if you had to, but it was so much better this way. He takes himself in hand and rubs the head of his cock from your clit and down, watches your muscles involuntarily jump slightly, a wide smirk on his face. Out of the corner of your eye, you see his shadow cast upon the wall, the elongated horns, that starving grin.
“I see you’ve noticed him,” Alastor says, entering you all at once. “Keep your eyes on me, dear. Pay him no mind.”
“You consider him separate from you?” you ask, your body adjusting to the size of him easily.
Alastor, however, does not seem to be having such an easy go of things. There is a look of concentration on his face, his lip between his teeth. It takes a moment for him to reply. “I consider him an echo of me. I’ll warn you now, I do not know how conversational I will be from this point on.”
“All the same,” you wink at him. “It’s not your conversation I’m after at the moment.”
It takes almost no time at all to get loud for him again, but this time it wasn’t just you being pleasured. This was a new world for Alastor and he was lost in it, captive to it. His hands grip at your hips as he fucks you harder and harder, the mattress shaking beneath you. Soon the headboard smacks against the wall and you thank God there’s no one on the other side.
“Al!” You hook one knee around his waist. “Al, please, deeper.”
He grabs your other knee and pulls it around him so he can get a better angle. He moves to whisper in your ear. “You feel so soft inside, like velvet. So warm, so hot…like that little pop of heat when you stand with your back to a fireplace…”
You moan loudly, feeling yourself get wetter and wetter around him, the sound slick and obscene. You can hear him curse, how his hips snap faster and faster until he finally spills his seed in you, fucking you through it.
Alastor’s damp forehead connects with your shoulder and you can feel his breath coming harsh against it. His hands soften their hard grip on your thighs and fall away, moving up to your waist, your ribs, one thumb against your nipple.
You play with his hair, with one of his ears, but it doesn’t seem to rile him up again, which was good, because you didn’t want to be told to stop. You turn your head against his and kiss his hair.
“Okay?” you ask after a while.
Upon hearing your voice, he lifts his head and then himself off of you. He crashes on his back beside you, his arm coming up around you, pulling you to him.
“I am so…so grateful that it was you,” he says. “I am grateful to have you. Forever. You and I will create a home next week, here at the hotel. It is well within my power to do. It can be any way you like. You should jot down ideas while you’re at Rosie’s.”
You groan. “I have to go back to Rosie’s, don’t I?”
“Yes, my lovely,” he says. “You will still reside at Rosie’s for the duration of this week until the Extermination is through and we are free to do as we please. We do not have to go straight back into radio. Maybe…we take some time to ourselves. It will be well-earned.”
“You’re going to need a break in general,” you say, pushing sweat-slicked hair out of his eyes. “You’re doing so much for all of us. I can’t believe you’re going to kill Adam.”
“Believe it, my love,” he says softly. “Believe me. This is our future.”
“I do believe you. I trust you,” you say. “And I’m sorry for being so bratty about being sent away. I am effectively useless in any type of fight scenario. I would hold everyone back.”
“You would sacrifice yourself too easily. I never said those things to hurt you, I said them because I feared what would happen to you.”
“I know,” you whisper. “I know.”
#alastor x reader#alastor x you#alastor imagines#hazbin alastor#alastor#hazbin hotel#alastor smut#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin alastor x you#hazbin alastor x reader#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin alastor smut#hazbin hotel fanfic#hazbin hotel imagines
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this skaven-free colour wheel is finally finished, thanks for participating and pls enjoy this moment without any rats.
links to each color previously
red|orange|yellow|green|light blue|dark blue|purple|pink
#warhammer fantasy#warhammer#color wheel#also these post has been added to the pin post#that link is too colorful damn it
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so if hypothetically i tried to assimilate back into the lotf community on here would yall accept the island kids. (kinda complicated but they're basically my versions of the lotf charas turned into ocs... with different names and stuff. but also sometimes i pretend they're the characters from the book... its confusing.)
#⸝⸝ connection terminated ( 01 ‚ cancel talks )#taking a chance and adding the tag#lotf#lotf tumblr has been the bane of my existence for far too long i think it's time to take another stab#lord of the flies#also i love the island kids. and i want more people to perceive them#and i feel like a good way to do that is to tap into their roots#because for a while at least they're still gonna be connected to the book characters#whether i like it or not#esp in appearance#multiple people have mistaken them for the lotf kids already#so anyway#shooting this into the void#view my pinned post for their designs if you wanna see my babies
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Oh my GOD THAT NEXT EPISODE TEASER???????
Under read more for spoilers, but... WOW.
#the loyal pin#the loyal pin spoilers#khun pin#princess anil#anilpin#adding more to push down spoilers in the tags because... uhh wow#hearing 'pin is so HOT' short circuited me good lord!#WHILE ALSO watching anil try to eat that dumpling provactively to make pin look at her?#how am i supposed to wait for next week???#this has been a post
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#auuuughhghghg I am thinking about. The Hustle™#I understand why people gravitate toward stickers and pins and charms and zines and such#I've been mildly successful with commissions in the past but right now I'm really in the headspace of like#I can NOT be giving that much time to other people just for the added income. I'll never finish a single personal project that way :/#I would much rather dedicate a chunk of time to designing something and making it available#and just letting people have it whenever they want. and maybe the most ongoing work I need to do is weekly post office trips :|#I am serious about re-launching my enamel pins next year but I have to remake all the templates 😭#bc the original AI files are all on my old nearly-dead imac...#but also stickers. low manufacture cost low resale so maybe they move faster?#also toying with the idea of selling some of my cross stitch patterns 🤔 NOT the pomegranates.#that's probably not gonna have super wide appeal but like. I made them for myself anyway might as well let other people have em for a few $#all this because my dad may not be able to help me cover therapy costs next year :||| so that extra $500 a month has to come from SOMEWHERE#I hate capitalism I hate having to exist!! exhausting!!!!!!
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Artic Au Comic - Start Chrono comic Setting - Locations and Hc’s for the setting The cast - Art and Headcanons of the main group Discord server 18+
Hi! this blog is run by Bryn EddsworldRUs/OccultOpossum. Updates approx Saturdays 11am est
Content warning pages may contain
Horror/Suspense themes, Blood/Violence and some gore, body horror, guns, some strong language,
Ask box is open for general questions/ect (no ma!s)
#eddsworld#eddsworld comic#eddsworld au#(will edit but wanted to update my pinned post some new links and adding some stuff)#also making the cw's a bit more clear and let people know the ask is open and has been if theres any questions#and add the 'start' link for new comers#pinned post
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🥒pinned part 2!🥒
🪱i’m will, but you can call me henry, quincy, bittu, or any iteration of my url🪱
🥣my username was formerly dictionarydyke if you don’t recognize my blog🥣
🪀pronouns: they/it/he/one, any neopronouns are good too :)🪀
🐁currently going through the identity crisis to end all identity crises, so yea. this spot used to be where i had my identities but now all you get is that i’m queer as Fuck, tyvm🐁
🦎(check this out too please!)🦎
🪥tagging system! “birbathy tag” is @/thebirdinator3000, “safi tag” is @/sillyygeese, “mysterious mischief maker tag” is @/dead-immortal, “unforgettable tag” is @/hazmatazz (this better work </3), “les strange tag” is @/very-strange-indeed, “lima tag” is @/beansthebylershipper, and “inquiries” is my asks tag🪥
🧇some of the moots! @topgunmenbefinebruh @thebirdinator3000 @hazmatazz @namenotfound0 @beansthebylershipper @sandinmybed @fangirlingismylife @very-strange-indeed @cgi-heart-eyes @ad15124 @dead-immortal🧇
🩺my dms and asks are Always open, and i’m always looking to meet someone new!!🩺
🧯i love tag/ask games so send them to me if you want! i might not do them right away but i appreciate them and will get to them eventually :)🧯
🥗i swear kinda a lot? so i guess this is a warning for that. i try to tag things appropriately but please tell me if i’m doing something wrong! or if you’d like a post tagged alternately or whatever :) 🥗
🦐some fandoms/things i enjoy i guess: will wood (att), reanimator, dghda, birdemic, h2g2, the goldfinch, wwdits, community, mythic quest, and danny pudi in general. there’s definitely more and i Might update this or i might not we’ll never know. 🦐
#pinned#part 2#apologies to everyone that i’m tagging again but there was an Error and my previous pinned got deleted :(#emojis are for random shits n giggles. idfk#also everyone that gets newly tagged on here sorry i take forever to update this#also Please tell me if you wanna be added/taken off <3 (if it’s added i’m sure i just forgot it’s nothing against you or anything-#i’m just dumb)#pinned post#this has been most recently updated 9/24
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#like. i have an abstract rainbow pride flag sticker on my phone. trans pins on my backpack.#queer pride stickers on my water bottle and coffee thermos.#and no-one has said anything negative about it! but like. is it because of ignorance. or because they don't want to be a dick.#or are they actually truly chill with it.#like i did put they/them pronouns in my whatsapp bio where we have a group chat for choir.#and then i had the fun realization that on another platform where she added me for another group chat! um.#i directly mention in my bio there that i have a girlfriend. not sure if she saw/noticed/cared. idk.#also my entire wardrobe is from the men's section. so like. there is that. my long hair is doing SO much work in marking me as 'woman'#this should have all just been a proper text post under a read more huh. whoops.
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do people know what extension and what setting hides pinned blog posts lmao
#i have both xkit and tumblr savior and like am Just realizing one of them has an auto turned on setting that hides pinned blog posts#lmao @ me the past weeks being like Why do so many blogs say read my pinned but then Dont have a pinned oops#i just thought ppl deleted their pinned wout updating their description or something#im assuming its tumblr savior bc that one also auto has reblog headers turned off so you dont see the name+icon of ppl who commented#so it looks like one long post of someone talking to themself and that was annoying af until i realized#but also tumblr saviour has like 4 settings and none of them are for pinned so ive been looking thru xkit and??? nothing#like my best guess is pinned posts gets considered to be 'promoted' or an ad or something like that which like?? why#why do ppl even use posts for their abouts instead of pages like posts can be filtered out by extensions unintentionally like this#and also be filtered out intentionally with blacklists? esp bc with these pinned abouts ppl put like about byf and blacklists all on them#so like i just feel like the likelihood of someones pinned post containing a blacklisted word of someone who would be in their tumblr#orbit is like extremely high? like if youre into the same stuff its likely youre also not into the same stuff so like wyd for when like#like for example you have the word radfems blacklisted and your friend has no radfems in their byf -> u cant see your friends pinned#i am really really not sure why external about/link pages or pinned about posts are even used here this isnt twitter?????????????#tumblr has its own built in pages??????????????????????????????????????????#?????#???????????????????????????????????#anyways lol if u know how to see pinned posts containing words yr not blacklisting lmk#my posts
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They're done! I really want to try and make prints again as it's been years and I've never felt like I was very good at making whole posters. Dipping my toe back in with these silly chibis of each Papa with every Ghoul they've had. Perhaps they can also work as a guide for those wanting to learn all the characters? I added in a fair amount of little references with the Ghoul's poses so it'll be interesting to see what you guys figure out and notice!
The prints are on pre-order and won't ship out until November. I've put up 25 of each to start with but if they get low on stock I'll keep adding more until I have them printed and then it'll be a set amount in stock.
Also a reminder about the stickers of every Ghost Papa and Ghoul that I made earlier this year that are also available as customisable badges! Thank you so much to everyone who already bought them and got Etsy to list them as a 'bestseller' for a while. They're still up and in stock.
EDIT: someone informed me Delta was not in Secondo's era so sorry little water ghoul but he got edited out of that drawing.
Characters featured on the prints and are also available on stickers and badges: Papa Emeritus I / Primo, Papa Emeritus II / Secondo, Papa Emerirus III / Terzo, Papa Emeritus IV / Cardinal Copia, Aether, Air, Alpha / Fire, Aurora, Chain / Water, Cirrus, Cowbell, Cumulus, Delta, Dewdrop / Sodo, Earth, Ifrit, Ivy, Lake, Mist, Mountain, Omega / Quintessence, Pebble, Phantom, Phil / Special Ghoul, Rain, Sunshine, Swiss, Zephy.
I can’t link to my Etsy without risking Tumblr hiding the post from tag search results, but the link is in my pinned post, my carrd, I’m emptymasks on Etsy. Reblogs help support artists more than likes ❤️
[ID: Four landscape drawings, one for each of Ghost's Papas and the Ghouls that were in the band with them while they were the lead singer. Each Papa is in the center with each of their ghouls standings to their sides. Every character has their name written above or below them, on brightly coloured backgrounds for each Papa's robe colour. Also, individual pixel art chibi drawings of 69 characters from various European musicals (listed above) that are available as stickers. These drawings are also available as badges where they are placed inside circles to show what they will look like as physical button badges, some of them with plain colour backgrounds and some with 1-3 different pride flags as examples of how you can customise the backgrounds.]
For those who want to know what the little references in the prints are and don't want to guess, they're under the cut:
Omega can be a stompy boy when he's playing guitar, Alpha likes to throw up peace signs, Air is very found of the rock horns hand symbol, there's one close-up photo of Lake out there where you can clearly see his black sclera contacts and he's doing double 'horns' hand symbol, Mountain infamously takes his shoes off when playing the drums and leaves them on the stage at the site of his drumkit, Dewdrop likes to like.. most things including his guitar and his picks and sometimes his own hand, Pebble liked to hand out his drumsticks at the end of shows by dropkicking them into the crowd, Omega wore a flower tucked into his guitar strap during one show and Terzo constantly flirts with him more than other ghouls, Delta is suspected to be the ghoul that attempted to kick an audience member off stage when they climbed onstage and attempted to kiss Terzo, Zephyr was the only band member and only keyboardist who sat down while playing, the special ghoul played by Tobias wore a nametag 'Phil' in an interview, Swiss constantly is showing all his teethies with his smiles and always wiggling and moving around, Aether and Dewdrop often interact with Dew teasing/bothering Aether, Dew and Rain also often interact with Dew constantly reaching to grab his neck and attempt to kiss him, aaaand I think that's everything I intentionally included other than just generally tried to get the poses and expressions to match the personality we've seen from each ghoul.
#the band ghost#fanart#ghost bc#terzo#secondo#primo#copia#papa emeritus#omega ghoul#dewdrop ghoul#swiss ghoul#cirrus ghoul#cumulus ghoul#terzomega#rain ghoul#dewaether#dewdrop x rain#zephyr ghoul#myart#mine#phantom ghoul#aurora ghoul#lake ghoul#river ghoul#chain ghoul#alpha ghoul#air ghoul#ivy ghoul#pebble ghoul#special ghoul
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Updated scam alert
So, as some of you guys know, I've received an ask from a known scammer a few weeks ago. Since I found their main post reblogged by 300 or so people, thinking they were helping a palestinian diabetic lady, I made a pinned post (this one) and warned everyone.
At some point this week, that account has been banned (or deleted), to my great dismay (the best vaccine against this kind of thing is letting victims know, since these scammers will just make new accounts); however, I found out that one of the names used in one of the many of his PayPal accounts has also been used in (as of today, 11/23) gladysconnoisseurpost thanks to this other post!
I already added that new piece of info in my old pinned (the one linked above in pink), and just today I received this ask on anon - worded very similarly to this other one that I got (off anon!) immediately after I called him out the first time.
So, in short: it's clear it's the same person again, there are sources to prove my point in the first link, there's one more here (el-shab-hussein saying it's a scam), thus I'm resuming my little hobby here.
IF YOU'VE BEEN MENTIONED IN THE REPLIES HERE:
-read the post in the first link. I'm basically doing the same thing, just with another post since it's about a different account and it could cause confusion
-I'd like you all to either delete your reblog of this scammer's post or edit it to include a warning to your followers
-if you're having a hard time tracking your reblog down (some date back to August), let me know and I'll help
-some of you reblogged it more than once, try to get them all (I tried to take note of those who did, if you have any doubts let me know)
-I did recognize some of your names from the last time - I'm sure you're all more knowledgeable now, it's just that it's the same scammer that contacted you multiple times, and I found an older instance. It's unlikely you falled for it once more after I warned you, so no worries. Still! Keeping up your reblog with no warning helps making it look more legitimate, so if you would kindly do me a favour and delete/edit this one too 🙏
-usual disclaimer that I transcribed all urls manually and I may have gotten something wrong. Hmu if you think I made a mistake, so I can contact the right person (or prove that it was in fact you)
-and again, no worries. You're all doing a good thing, you're not at fault for this piece of shit taking advantage of your good heart. Just be more wary next time :*
-I'm still gonna check for name changes, both on Tumblr and Paypal. Most recent on top
Oh, and let's not forget my List of Actually Verified Palestinian Fundraisers Who Contacted Me. Gotta uplift their voices too
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“Patience.” — CSC
⸝⸝୭ ˚. fluff . est. relation
⋆ pairings : seungcheol x f!reader ⋆ warning : implications of getting pregnant (?), just pure comfort and fluff ^^ ⋆ wc : 0.5k [✉️] · Seungcheol had always been the one having a baby fever, but this time, it seemed to be you.
It had been more than two hours—from what Seungcheol can remember—since you were in your room, giggling over the phone. And it had also been two hours since he had been waiting for you to come into the living room and cuddle with him.
Maybe he should wait, or maybe he should let his patience win over and crawl onto your lap himself.
But when he hears your foot dragging along the floor, nearing towards the couch, his thoughts come to an end.
“Seungcheol,” You called out, placing your hand on his shoulder from behind. His head shoots up in your direction, eyes big at the mention of his full name.
Your face seemed red—probably from the laughing and giggling, and you had this look on your face that Seungcheol recognises it to be one of those when you want something. From him.
“Hm, baby?”
“I want a baby.” Your voice lowered, eyebrows furrowing—as if it was something that had to be done.
Seungcheol’s brain stopped functioning. With that look on your face, he knew you wanted something, and he would give it to you. Anything you wanted.
But this? This was unexpected.
Not receiving a response, you gently shake his shoulder, bringing him back to his senses.
He looked at you and smiled, bringing up his hand to take your hand in his.
“You want a?”
“Baby. A baby.”
“Alright, come here.”
Seungcheol guided you forward, holding in a chuckle.
“Not there,” he said as you were about to take a seat beside him, on the couch. “Here.” He patted his lap, guiding you to sit on it.
His strong arms gently snake around your waist, providing you the comfort you craved.
“You want a baby?” He asked softly, rubbing the side of your waist. You nod, taking your phone to show him a video of a baby—giggling and playing.
“Isn't she so cute? I want to have a baby too…” you sighed, smiling at the sight of the adorable baby.
Seungcheol, too, was smiling. He wouldn't deny that he had had a baby fever a couple of times, and he would always cling to you, talking about how great it would be to start a family together.
But you both know it's not the time, yet. Soon, very soon, but it's just not now.
“I'll give it to you.” His face lit up with a faint smile, hands reaching at the hem of his shirt as he attempted to pull it off.
Horrified, you grab his wrist, stopping him from doing so.
“What are you doing?” You ask, your voice dropping to a whisper, eyes widened. Seungcheol, on the other hand, looked at you innocently.
“What? I'm giving you what you want, baby.”
Yeah, he's right.
“But—”
“But?” He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue. You look at him, a smile creeping up your face.
“Fine, I get what you mean.”
Seungcheol mirrors your smile, wrapping his arms around you again to hug you tight.
“I promise you, the day when we have our own baby isn't too far. It's just not now, or today.”
You've learnt alot from those six years of being with Seungcheol. One of them is patience. You couldn't wait to give life to a new one—all prepared, without any problems.
And Seungcheol might just have the best way to tell you so, that patience has always been the key.
– taglist : @gyubakeries @oojiehae @haowrld @armycarat2612
[check out masterlist - pinned post to be added to the taglist!]
#seungcheol fluff#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol fic#seventeen x reader#scoups x reader#scoups imagines#scoups fluff#scoups fanfic#seungcheol fanfic#seungcheol x y/n#seventeen fluff#seventeen x y/n#seventeen fanfic#svt ff#svt oneshot#svt fluff#svt fanfic#svt x reader#choi seungcheol#seungcheol#scoups#kpop writers#kpop fanfic#kpop fluff#kpop au#svt au#yjhzies#“🐑. ziesfeed
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Low key building upon this post. Why? Because it was originally supposed to be more smutty but I'm a chicken who can't write smut, so I tried dipping my toes here. Nothing too extreme mind you, I'm still a big baby. Sue me. This was also written in a cafe in like, under 20 minutes so...
"I won't make you do anything you don't want to."
That mantra has been inside of your head for months now, ever since the bastard hunter took you. In some strange way, he did somewhat keep that promise and that made you feel so damn bitter. Kinich only really forced you to do the utmost basic necessities to keep you sane and alive - nothing more, nothing less.
He was still the same old Kinich you knew. Nothing was free of charge. The only reason why he still kept you around was because it made him feel good, or so he liked to remind you every so often.
That was precisely why the current predicament you were in was so damn bizarre.
Kinich panted beneath you, his eyes widened in shock as the faintest outline of blush dusted his cheeks, his shoulders quivering ever so slightly as you held him tightly on the bed. His arms found your hips and swiftly settled there, occasionally groping the soft skin whenever the opportunity arose.
Never in his wildest dreams could Kinich have predicted that you would ever greet him home like this.
Practically giving him no room to breathe, he was pounced on like a hunter does to its prey, giving him absolutely zero time to react. Your movements were desperate and clumsy but he did not care, not when everything felt so damn good. Kinich stared at you through half lidded eyes, his gaze seeping with exhaustion but want, so much so that he was inclined to gently nibble on your lower lip, which he gladly did.
A small noise escaped you, a silly mixture between a whimper and a cry but to Kinich's ears, it felt as though the gates of heaven had been opened.
Slipping his tongue in, he swiftly sealed your lips with his own, your own saliva and spit merging with his in some sort of flimsy but erotic dance. It was messy, he noted as he felt the spit gently trailing down his cheek, which he did not care about whatsoever. Your touch was hotter than the sun and it set his whole body ablaze with a lust which he had never felt before.
Was it normal for a person to want another this badly?
It most likely was not, Kinich reasoned. But that same reason was thrown out the fucking window once he felt your hips being pressed into his own, grinding ever so lightly against him. It was sudden but good, more than plain old good actually.
Kinich could hear your pants but chose not to pay attention to them. He was going to fight you on this for as long as he could, he was never going to stop kissing you if he could have his way.
Even so, Kinich himself felt his lungs burning for sweet air, but his heart was beating straight out of his chest and his mind was in tatters.
He cannot let you go. Not when you finally had given into him.
With his brute strength, Kinich broke free from your hold and roughly grabbed you by the waist, switching places that now you were the one who was pinned. He broke the kiss, finally, and slowly brought his arm up to his face, wiping away the spit off his lips. He stared down at you in a frenzy as he took the sight in - eyes screwed shut with a pained look on your face, heavy pants leaving your lips as you desperately tried to regain your composure but kept utterly failing each time.
It was so damn cute, he muttered wistfully.
Ever the opportunist, Kinich dove back down once more, his lips on yours again. One hand kept your arms pinned above your head while the other was lowered down towards your shirt, his skilled fingers ripping the fabric off. You yelped beneath him, not expecting the sudden force but that was alright too.
It simply added on to the cuteness.
Kinich felt himself growing harder by the second, his pants becoming more and more uncomfortable. He lost count with how many nights he had wasted away daydreaming about this exact moment - you, on his bed, stuffed full of his cock as his name was chanted like a sick love spell, over and over and over - let the whole valley hear, heck, let absolutely every human and beast hear who was making you feel so good. Your pleasure was officially in his hands now and there was no turning back now.
That was the initial idea, at least.
"HEY, HEY! What do you two freaks think you're doing?!"
Ajaw's shrill scream rang throughout the entire hut, its body now a mixture of bright orange and angry red, its tiny arms raised as high as they could be as it continued to complain.
"Kinich! I knew you were a freak but this crosses the line, even for YOU !" yelled the tiny dragon creature, its sharp gaze now stuck on you both.
"Sick perverts! How dare you subject the Mighty Dragon Lord to such an uncouth sight!"
Ajaw continued to complain over and over again as Kinich slowly distanced himself from you. He still lay there on top of you, albeit with his back fully straight now as his gaze became hollow. You could not tell if he was trying to tune out Ajaw or if he was listening intently but that question would be answered soon enough.
Still loudly complaining, Ajaw continued to prattle on and on, forcing Kinich to let out a very long and frustrated sigh. With a cool gaze Kinich raised his arm slightly in the air, his back still turned towards Ajaw as he made the "come here" motion with his finger. The tiny dragon obliged, thinking that his servant was going to give him a proper apology which he rightfully deserved - only to be met with the harshest smack across the head he had ever felt.
The impact was so loud that it echoed loudly across the entire room. Ajaw landed on the ground, dazed entirely and just stayed there, not making a sound. Still on top of you, Kinich lazily checked the ground to see where Ajaw had landed, and once he was satisfied with the findings, Kinich nodded to himself, his entire focus being shifted back towards you. With an outstretched arm, he placed a hand at the back of your head and gave your neck a soft but determined kiss. From the corner of your eye, you could see the faint outlines of the marks on his body beginning to glow but you did not know why, nor did you bother to ask.
Your body felt a little lighter as Kinich got up, the entire bed suddenly so much more free and cozy. Grabbing the hem of the blanket felt like the right thing to do, which you did. Kinich stood by the bed and watched you for a few seconds, his palm pressing your head down towards the pillow as he tucked you in.
"You did good tonight." he praised softly.
"I'll make sure to be a little nicer towards you. After all, how could I not be after tonight?" said Kinich with a snort, his lips forming into a smug smirk. You growled under your breath, frustrated to see your captor see so damn happy but you knew that in the long run, this was the best thing to do. A happy Kinich was a good Kinich.
It just made things easier. And that was the stone cold truth.
With a light pep in his step, Kinich walked towards the exit, grabbing his jacket along the way.
"I'll be out late tonight, commission. If Ajaw hadn't interrupted... I would have completely forgotten about it."
His tone was flat but cool, low key signaling that he was indeed telling the truth. Saying nothing, you covered your head with the fuzzy blanket and heard Kinich laugh under his breath one last time before leaving you to your own devices.
Times like these felt perfect for an escape attempt but experience had taught you well. No matter how far you went, Kinich would just track you down and bring you back by the ear if he had to.
He definitely had the monster like strength to do so.
With a huff you closed your eyes, blushing a little as you felt the pleasurable heat down your body, causing your legs to press themselves shut on instinct. The best thing to do now was to get some rest, nothing more, nothing less. The day had been long and draining, which only added to your sleepiness. In less than a few minutes darkness had taken over, your mind and body completely shut off from the rest of the world.
Meanwhile on the ground next to you, Ajaw quickly opened one eye and kept an ear out. Once he realized that you were fast asleep, only one thing could be said.
"Darn it."
#it's probably so cringe I really REALLY tried....#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#yandere x you#yancore#yanderecore#yandere aesthetic#genshin impact#kinich#kinich x reader#genshin impact x reader#yandere genshin impact#yandere genshin x reader#yandere kinich#yandere kinich x reader#genshin x reader#genshin kinich#fem reader
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ana babes, hot tub/late night in the pool w jude fic please? i’ll pay u in infinite kisses💋 (btw no pressure ofc!)
by the edge - jude bellingham x reader.
quick sum: above!
wc: 2.1k | masterlist | jude's masterlist
psa : HIIII IMY ILYSMM, i'm sooooooo incredibly late to this, it's not even funny... but it has been in my drafts and i needed to finish this 😔 so here's summer! jude despite it being over... small suggestive content but not too in-depth. this is also insta au + fic combined!!
———— j.b ————
judebellingham added to their stories!
19 hrs ago | 9 mins ago
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spottedcelebrity
liked by: popculture, thesun, dailymail, vouge, yourbestie, and 345,901 others!
spottedcelebrity: PHEW. we did not see this one coming! it’s looking like he’s finally showing off his lady, soft-launching her on his latest instagram story! stay tuned for more update and live show at 9pm!
username291: OH?? so he was actually being fr??
user09: the way no one saw this coming (im actually dying inside…)
username39: if you look closely that’s actually me!!!! 🤗
user21: girl bye-
username49: soft launching on his story is the bare minimum…
↪️ user11: isn’t that the point tho? who cares if it’s on his story? he just made a highlight dedicated to her 💋
username29: does anyone know who she is??
↪️ user19: no, he keeps her private.
↪️ username77: we don’t know that, maybe she doesn’t want to be in the public eye
↪️ user45: apparently she’s a business student at the university of madrid…
↪️ username86: people think it’s @ynusername but she’s private on everything so no one can clear that up
user74: oh! SHES GORGEOUS ??
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ynusername added to their stories! 🔒
19 hrs ago | 12 hrs ago
———— j.b ————
“everyone on twitter is going crazy,” recalled jude, stepping out of the doorway. “why?” you laughed quesionably, unlocking your phone to check what he meant. you were rushed to see his fans eagerly wanting to know who you were, as jude had soft launched you on his latest post. they had not expected that one bit, now they we’re piecing to see who you were.
it wasn’t anything new for you, as you had been doing that privately on your own instagram. the media knew he had a girlfriend, and jude respected your wishes to be private since it tended to be crazy hectic. yet the two of you liked to read comments late at night and see how theyre crazy theories came to light.
“he was with his girlfriend at the airport, they both arrived with hats. she was very pretty and nice as well,” you read, feeling admiration at their comment. there was very few encounters you had together but all of them were positive to say the least which you were grateful for. the last thing you wanted was to be plastered in a tabloid of you being rude or mean.
“a fan account pinned a comment earlier today, that you were a medical student and lived in norway? I never pictured it for it to get this crazy,” joked jude, hearing your laugh as you walked over to the mini bar. “do you want a drink? or would you like to share with me?” you asked, rubbing lime around the rim of the glass so you could coat with salt.
“i’ll just take some sips out of yours,” replied jude, coming behind you to wrap his arms securely around your waist, placing kisses over your shoulder. jude watched as a you made the drink, eating fruit slices from the container you had bought in the morning. “i don’t know what it is, but the fruit here is so much better than the one in spain?” you say, jude immediately agreeing with you and going off how here he had the best mango ever.
“careful, it's slippery,” jude gripped your hand and helped you get down the stairs carefully, making sure you wouldn't fall like he had done the first day here. the summer sea breeze was heavenly, reminiscing the last few days of summer with your boyfriend who seemed attached to you. jude’s second season at real madrid would start soon, and you were on your last year of uni. meaning this year would be hectic and stressful.
yet right now all you could focus on was the palm trees leaves swaing, the late night sky, and the buzz feeling from your tropical drink.
the past few days the two of you had spent exploring and having fun, taking tours around places, going ziplining, trying new foods, lots of walks along the shore, making seashell necklace and a bracelet for jude, and ending your nights like this, in the warm pool. you were grateful the place you had chosen to travel was sorta excluded from the world, being a private getaway without the media following around.
“you okay? you seemed distracted,” jude asked swimming towards you where you lifted your hand to remove the water drops from his face. his sunkissed face from the past few days. you had to force him to wear sunscreen, listening to jude nag and complain he would be fine. you knew this heat, humidity, and sun wasn't like the one in spain, easily burning in the first few seconds stepping outside.
“i don’t want to leave, like ever,” you frowned and pouted your lip, jude chuckling as he picked you, wrapping your legs around his waist as his hands smoothed your bareback. “i don’t picture you as a thalassophile, with your little beach bag and sun hat,” jude joked earning a confused look from you. “a what?” you asked with narrowed eyes.
“a thalassophile.”
“what even is that?” you giggled, your hand scratching the nape of his neck, as jude rested against the pool walls. “a thalassophile? it's someone who loves the ocean. for someone who claims they are the smarter one in the relationship, this is proving otherwise…” jude narrowed his eyes, resting his forehead against yours, seeing the warning look you threw at him. “as the smarter person in the relationship, i’m shocked you even know that word!” you gasp sarcastically.
“hey! leave me alone…” jude tickled you making you swarm around and swim away from him, going to the edge of the pool where he followed. “what would you do? set up a small shop and sell souvenirs?” he teased, seeing how you looked away nonchalantly. “uhm yes? but mine wouldn’t be overpriced or aesthetic shops, i would bring the culture and actual diversity. give a tiny background of my items and what not…” you shrug with a shy smile, seeing jude’s eyes never leaving yours, watching how your lashes fluttered and iris dilate.
“why are you looking at me like that? it makes me nervous, baby…” you admit with cheeks flushed, shaking your head. jude laughs and looks away, making you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. your pulse and heart racing with one simple glance from him. “does it? i didn’t know that,” he said carelessly, bringing you back into his embrace, tucking and brushing away your hair that covered your shy face.
“stop lying…” you rolled your eyes playfully, feeling jude’s warm hands as they ran your sides and thighs. “if i'm a liar, why aren't my pants on fire?” he joked terribley, his brum accent appearing more than ever, which made the two of you burst out laughing. “you and your jokes i swear… you think you're the funniest person ever,” you tease, hearing jude gasp. “maybe because i am?” defended jude.
you swam back to your drink, having to pull off from your clingy boyfriend, who complained the minute you were away. you finished it, after offering jude some, hearing the ice clink in the glass, only having the strawberry left, which you took a bite of. jude watched intensely, seeing your lips around the red fruit and leave a trail behind.
he swallowed deeply as you stepped near him, feeling your arm wrap around his shoulders, coming between his legs, your tongue licking off the extra strawberry off your top lip as you offered him some. his eyes looked up into yours, tasting the bitter yet sweet taste from the fruit as he took a bite. he stood up, towering over you as you placed the stem in the cup, your back resting on the pool.
“you're so beautiful y/n… absolutely stunning,” he whispered, seeing upon how his words had an effect on you. you traced your hands around his bare muscles, veins decorating along his arms, as his fingers tilted your chin to him, jude crashing his lips on yours. he deepens the kiss, managing to sneek his tongue into your mouth, groaning and pulling closer to him, his hand tugging you locks of hair from the back, making you let out a tiny moan.
“tastes so much better from your lips,” he whispered, yet he didn’t stop, and you didn’t want him to. this was so different, so intimate, driven by lust. jude knew all your spots, and you learned his. he knew how to bring you to the edge, the movement, the words. so it wasn't a surprise when he pulled away, pressing your hips down onto him, kissing down your jaw to your sweetspot on your neck, sucking softly making you shiver and throw your head back. “mhm jude… what if someone sees?” you say worriedly.
“they won't… we’re alone here, it's just you and me.”
you leaned down and captured his lips again, smacking his shoulder gently. “not so fast,” you giggle, feeling as he fondled with the bowtie on your bikini. jude gave you a playful smile, knowing his intentions wouldn't be so innocent. “what i wasn’t doing anything,” jude shrugged. “right cause you never do, and especially on this trip…” you eye him down.
“i just want to love and appreciate my girl.”
“you have… i think this may be our favorite trip. it's something about this place i don’t know,” you blabber off, jude listening to every word, already making a future visits for the next years to come. maybe one day bring your kids to this paradise even himself grown to love. seeing you in a new environment, with your summer glow of happiness, he could get used to it. he would drop anything, even football, just to see you this radiant. it didn’t matter if it was in the sunlight or moonlight.
“you think our kids would love this place?” jude said suddenly making your crinkle your brows. “kids? you want to have kids with me?” you say unsurely, earning a confused glance from jude who tensed up. “yes… i wouldn’t picture anyone else,” jude replied, seeing how your eyes dazed from bewilderment to jovial. “you better not, you know how i am,” you give him a look.
“trust me i know,” jude said, thinking back to the one time a girl wouldn’t get a hint he was with you, doing the upmost right in your face, flirting, touching him, following him. it didn’t help you were deep in with tequila shots, embarrassing the girl by calling her out in public. but she took the hint.
“i’m serious though y/n… i want everything and anything for you and us,” confessed jude, pecking your lips where you turned away shyly once again. “you don’t know the amount of times i think about our future. what were doing 5 years from now, our home, kids, hell pets even! i know you seriously want a cat, i’m willing to do whatever it is to see you smiling always…” he continued, your gazed bored into each other, as in a way of sealing this moment for eternity.
“when you won the champions league that night, do you remember what i said to you?” you ask, seeing jude think about it, and by seeing his face you knew he was bound to say something silly. “i was really drunk that night, so i don’t recal much,” jude taunted, earning another gentle slap on his shoulder from you.
“be serious!” you threatened with a huge grin.
“if you’re recalling when you promised a lifetime with me, confessed your love, and promised me that you’d stick with me forever? that you knew it was a complete different world when i was in it? that you wanted to continue making memories with me, no matter the sacrifices?” jude recalled, watching how your eyes became teary. “yes. i remember it all.”
you sniffed while also giggling, kissing jude deeply and messily once again. you notice how jude’s breathing accelerated, tugging you closer to him and keeping you steady, making you sigh in content. “i’ll never get tired of kissing you,” you admit, kissing his nose and a tiny mole he had at the end of his brow, as jude then twirled you both around, hearing the squeal of excitement escape your lips.
“so about our babies-”
“babies?”
“yes babies. i want more than 2 kids,” jude said with a huge smile, seeing how you gave him a look. “we’ll have one first and then see,” you state, seeing jude shake his head. “nuh uh, i’m not having that, especially when i heard you say to your best friends you would give me 6 kids when we met that night,” jude said smirking when he knew he had caught you.
“YOU DID NOT HEAR THAT? OH MY GOD, YOU ACTUALLY HEARD THAT?”
the rest of the night, you and jude counted the stars, he even made another drink where he repeatedly insisted he wanted to repeat the kiss you once had. you even played those silly pool games where you threw a item in the pool and one of you had to find and retrieve it, a game of 2 truths and 1 lie, and recalling your earliest memories you could think of.
towards the end of the night you sat on the edge of the pool, watching jude do some laps before he swam up to you. you clenched your legs together, when feeling his lips trail kisses up your thighs, forcing you to open them so he could continue on the inside of them. “what are you doing?” you shakily say, seeing jude look up to you as he placed a final kiss on a tiny scar you had.
“nothing…” jude murmured, pulling you closer to him, where you now realized how this night would end. but you didn’t complain, because you wanted him that desperately too. showing him just how much you needed and wanted him. jude didn’t fight it either, having a taste by the pool side, to then carrying you into you room where he continued to show you, prove to you how special you were.
“gonna take care of you, you deserve it angelito mio.”
———— j.b ————
judebellingham
liked by: ynusername, brahim, yourbestie, camavinga, vinijr, sophiaamelia, fedevalverde, vogue, spottedcelebrity, and 4,888,769 others!
judeballingham: living life it's fullest along with you mi angelito divino 🤍
comments:
ynusername: EEKKK!! ILYSM 😣😣😣😣
ynusername: still thinking how sunburnt you got...
vinijr: no invite?
↪️ judebellingham: do you have a gf?
jobebellingham: literally why
↪️ judebellingham: why not?
spottedcelebrity: HARD LAUNCH? IS EVERYONE BREATHING OKAY?
↪️ ynusername: no.
trentalexanderarnold: very demure, very cutesy!
username19: hard launch? oh wow!
user38: this is actually so crazy im??????
vogue: HEY JUDE!
———— j.b ————
ynusername 🔒-> 🔓
liked by: judebellingham, yourbestie, jobebellingham, jennaortega, monetmcmicheal, spottedcelebrity, rubendias, trentalexanderarnold, adidas, glossier, and 34,897 others!
ynusername: i LOVE my man!! ily ily ily!! happy gal in happy place with my man!! EEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! 💞💕♥️💘💖💓💗💝
comments:
judebellingham: i can't tell if this is sarcasm or your being fr...
↪️ jobebellingham: she hates you. she CAN'T stand you! blink twice if you need help y/n
ynusername: blinks three times **
judebellingham: strawberry kissed.
judebellingham: you're so sexy, i'm so in love with you.
judebellingham: another pool night?
↪️ ynusername: yess!! 🤭🤭
rubendias: lol.
↪️ user55: tea...
↪️ username76: OH? @spottedcelebrity take a look at this?
↪️ spottedcelebrity: yikes... ruben in the comments of THE y/n??
yourbestie: imy!! eek you're glowing!! 🥹🥹
username10: omg!! she has been soft-launching him for a YEAR?
user30: so we were right...
username85: ur a smart and gorgeous queen!
user99: stop i love them so much.
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Exerzierplatz - a cc lot by moonwoodhollow (feat. The Green Room & the bookshop + a retro corner store)
Exerzierplatz is a building I've been working on for a long time as it was a bit of a trouble-child. I was never satisfied with it and kept thinking that I should scrap it, because of its awkward apartment-floor plans, until I embraced the idea of using it more as a retail/café lot. The result is something I am very satisfied with and I hope it exudes the kind of ~hip/cute neighbourhood~ vibe I'm feeling.
But it's all up to you, how you'll want to use this lot: as a café, a deco lot for your sims-stories (I'd love to see that!!) or as an actual residential building.
More screenshots, info + download link under the cut!
Building background
Another historical brick building, but I'll spare you the historical background this time because I forgot which real-life building inspired me to create this one, but I can tell you how I got the idea for this building in general! (if you care)
The name Exerzierplatz is a bit misleading if you know any German, as a "Platz" is usually a public square, buildings directly next to a square usually receive the square's name as well with a house number added. The square that inspired me is quite a dismal and empty square with a huge car park, but it got me thinking about what kind of buildings originally might have stood there. The historical context here is post-WW2, which left a lot of cities in ruins. Instead of rebuilding the original structures, some cities opted for a "car-friendly" approach, meaning lots of car parks and wide streets, that nowadays feel over-dimensioned.
Now if I had to pin down an era, in which this kind of building was likely constructed, I'd say the latter of the 19th century. It's likely to be a representative of historicism, or at least has elements from this style.
So what do you get?
Exerzierplatz is a 20x20 build best placed in Windenburg, but I could potentially see it in Britechester as well. The building is partly furnished, which means the whole ground floor is furnished, while the other two floors are left unfurnished.
The ground floor includes a café, a bookshop and a Tante Emma Laden (aka a corner store/delicatessen). All three of them are fully furnished and usable as a café or a retail store. The 2nd and 3rd floors are intended as apartments, but everything's up to you!
Uses items from the following packs: I own almost all packs, so I'd say most of them, but I will update this post once I hop back into game to have a look!
Download: Google Drive (600 MB) | Also up on the gallery: aeromantica (but you’ll need the cc files from the Drive folder!)
Is the CC included? Most is! There's an Excel file with all CC that you'll need to download manually, but it's not many files. Deco Sims are NOT included.
Also a BIG THANK YOU to all the CC-creators, without their creations, I wouldn't have been able to build this!
-> Info: I've included 4 merged files, BUT! I've prepared a little note, about which ones are hard requirements, so it's up to you whether you'll include them.
TOU: Please don’t claim as your own or put behind paywalls etc. If you find any issues (wrong/missing files, etc.) please let me know + tag me if you’ll use the house, I’d love to see it in your games.
#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#sims 4 download#sims 4 build dl#sims 4 lot dl#sims 4 build download#sims 4 build#sims 4 lot#sims 4 screenshots#sims 4 interior#sims interior#simblr#the sims community#*mine#*mydownload
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Mesmerizer is a satire of TikTok, YouTube Shorts, and the rest of the modern short-form vertical video format
A brief thematic analysis.
I'm sure there are countless people already interpreting the imagery and details in this wonderful song & MV, like here and here, so I won't spend too much time retreading that ground. Miku and Teto are dancing. Miku gets hypnotized. Teto signals for help, but gets hypnotized at the end as well.
That part is obvious enough, but that's still pretty surface-level. What is this seemingly hyperspatial horror scenario supposed to mean to us?
While checking to see if anyone before me's already come to the same conclusions as I did and if I should bother not writing this text post at all (lol), I came across udin's great analysis video. She comes to the conclusion that the song tackles themes of disillusionment with reality and the ways we indulge in escapism to relieve ourselves of the pains of the world.
I agree with that reading! From practically the very beginning, we have Miku call to us - the viewer - to push away our true feelings. Teto comes in to peddle a solution, inviting us to surrender and empty our minds - in her words, "pretending to know nothing."
You, the viewer, are a critical character in this masquerade. For nearly the entire video, Miku and Teto's eyes are unfailingly trained on you. Or, well... perhaps they can't actually see you, but they can see a camera, or whatever other aperture the point of view is supposed to be from. And they know they're being watched. (Who else would Teto be sending distress signals to?)
Let's put a pin on that for later.
udin notes very early on that Miku and Teto are, conspicuously, kept in vertical frames - very similar to the video formats of TikTok (and Instagram Reels, and YouTube Shorts, and whatever other clones of the format exist.) You know, just like the animator Caststation's Rabbit Hole fan MV that went viral some months ago.
Hey wouldn't it be crazy if the song's producer, 32ki, released Mesmerizer shorts too haha. Wouldn't that be crazy.
Wow, wild.
These short-term vertical videos are captivating & alluring. If you're reading this, it's more likely than not that you've also found yourself caught up in them at least once, scrolling through the infinite algorithmic slurry and forgetting about the real-life issues you have at hand. Would you say, then, that you felt hypnotized? Mesmerized, even?
And so these two invite us to join their world and focus on the... uh... rectangle.
Their dances are repetitive, following the same loop. Their outfits are distinct, but their choreography isn't. They're copying the same formula, repeating it ad nauseam to the best of their ability.
They're doing a fucking TikTok dance.
Back to the pin I told you about earlier, with Miku and Teto looking at a camera.
Miku sways with the camera, eyes looking directly at it like a swinging pocket watch. She's been looking at it the entire time, after all. We've been seeing her via our screen this entire time, but, again, she doesn't necessarily see us. She's beholden to the camera, which she dances for day after day, caught up in its spell. She's hypnotized by it. Eventually, she breaks.
Teto, on the other hand, resists. For a while, anyway.
Despite her being the one jumping to us with the "solution" at the beginning of the MV, there's very quickly good reason to question how much agency she has in this. She dances for the camera as well, but she doesn't want to. She's signalling for help. She wants out.
Many content creators (as much as I personally loathe the non-specificity and soullessness of the term) have struggled with the adaptation to the short-form video format, and the preference the algorithm has had for these captivating, bite-sized videos. They're catchy, and easily drive up metrics. Practically anyone who's publishing their work via video format online needs to learn to adapt or fall behind, even if that means whittling their content down to fit the frame, the time, and people's shortening attention spans. Sometimes, that means compromising on specificity and completeness... or, in other words, the true representation of a full work.
The song's writer, 32ki, has been releasing songs on YouTube for several years. Their first YouTube Short, however, was posted only a year ago: a short, whittled-down segment of their previous song, CIRCUS PANIC!!!, hoping for it to win the ProsekaNEXT song contest. It was their first song to achieve widespread popularity and hit a million views.
The shorts, however, aren't the "true" versions of the song. The full song just won't fit.
We're being mesmerized as consumers of this endless stream of content, rather than appreciators of music and art. However, that relationship isn't completely symmetrical across the plane that is the 4th wall. Miku and Teto are trapped not by their attention spans, but by a compulsion to project their "truthful acting" and peddle that window into a colorful, problem-free world.
We, as the collective audience, need not dwell on any one thing for too long - we need only swipe, and move on to the next video. However, Miku and Teto are trapped behind the screen for eternity, day after day.
They're the only characters we get to see, of course. There's no evil 3rd voice synth character that's plotting to keep them trapped in there. We can't put a face to whatever force is hypnotizing them and trapping them behind the screen. It's faceless - like the inscrutable algorithms of YouTube recommendations or the TikTok For You page, or the impersonal corporations that develop & maintain those aforementioned apps. Miku and Teto's likenesses, on the other hand, are being exploited and extracted from for their entertainment value, being strung along by that metaphorical hypnotizing force like puppets on a string.
Many people, represented by Miku, enjoy their success on such platforms. It's freeing and liberating to throw oneself wholeheartedly into such an endeavor, of course! Others, represented by Teto, harbor their doubts of the emotional veracity of such a medium, but know they have little choice lest they face destruction... perhaps not literally as a person, but as an idea.
Wouldn't it be easier just to let oneself be swept away by it and give in?
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