#also there's sooo much snow outside. it's very confusing

[running-in-the-dark]

I've given up on trying to sleep at night. it just does not work. I can't do it so I might as well just sleep when I get tired.

I don't have a sleep schedule, I'm tired all the time, I fall asleep all the time. so I might as well stay up all night painting (and watching Leverage)! I'm not getting shit done so I might as well do something I enjoy.

[bluegarners]

Hi!! I was wondering if you had any Talon!Dick headcannons :)) By the way, I LOVE your writing!!!

Ahhhhh thank you sooo much, darling anon!! That means so much to me 🥺💙

Now, I’m unsure if I’ll be doing this correctly, but I do believe I have a few head-cannons! Here goes~

As Talon, Dick is often mistaken for being a meta-human with flight like abilities. He still subconsciously uses his acrobatic abilities in fighting, the famous quadruple flip giving him away, and his “Flying Grayson” origin and knack for flinging himself off tall buildings gives the illusion that he can fly. If he hurts himself after landing from leaping from tall buildings, it doesn’t show because of his tolerance for pain and his healing abilities, adding to the illusion of flight where no such thing exists

Dick is highly competitive to the point of bordering obsessional. Perfection was everything to the Court, and if one did not succeed flawlessly, than it was considered a failure, no matter the outcome. When he is rescued from the Court and introduced into more familial settings, Dick subconsciously competes with everyone to be the best at everything, including, but not limited to: fighting (there is no such thing as sparring, if he is swept off his feet, then he is a failure opponent; arguing also falls into that category, but he always ends up feeling worse when he feels like he’s won), target practice (darts are the Batfams least favorite boredom game because of Dick’s uncanny and unnatural ability to be so precise [he once pinned a mosquito to the board standing twelve feet away]) , memorization (no one likes to play card games with him either because he knows exactly which cards have been played and also likely knows the cards everyone else is holding), baking (he once tried to out-do Alfred and it was then that Dick experienced his first failure when it came to baking a scone; his always came out too hard), and pranking (he studies everyone very closely, looks for the very thing that ticks someone off, and when challenged, he is merciless in pursing the perfect trick to annoy them for days but leave no lasting harm)

Dick was trained to understand people and how they work, think, and plan. He understands human flaws and weaknesses probably more than anyone else, purely because he himself is so deeply flawed and recognizes this. However, he was never taught how to interact or understand animals. The first time Titus licked his hand, he spent hours researching what it meant (he was too confused and embarrassed to ask anyone because he knows that isn’t normal) and was left stunned for days when he came to the conclusion that it meant affection. When Alfred the cat leaps into his lap and purrs, and he again looks up what this means, Dick is overwhelmed at the undeserved friendliness he is receiving. As a Talon, Dick had had to earn everything in his life, including trust. He had never been given that without having to do something for it. Now, Dick takes every opportunity he can to keep that trust the animals have placed unto him (see: buying and feeding them treats, brushing their fur, giving them gentle affection)

Dick has great interest in things like skin-care appliances. The Court had only ever allowed him a bar of soap to wash the blood away, and he had never truly needed anything else, but when Steph gives him a bottle of lotion because “his skin looks ashy enough to make snow”, he finds he can’t stop lathering himself in it. His skin has always felt rough to the touch; callouses formed over the years of labor and hilts of sharp blades in his grasp. After a week of usage, Dick marvels at the fact that his hands feel soft. It is the first time he has ever thought of himself as being anything but hardened and ruined, and bath & body works quickly becomes an online shopping favorite

Sometimes, Dick forgets where he is. He’s still adjusting to “normal life”, outside and away from the Court. The Court was easy in the way that he never had to truly expect anything new. He walked the same hallways, the same rooms, the same sewer paths all his life; walls bare, plain, and white with only his reflection and the screeching cries of the Courts victims to decorate it. So, when he moves into the Manor, visits the Cave, and sees each wall covered in mirrors, pictures, clocks, trinkets, and little ornaments, he memorizes each placement and finds his way from there. But on cleaning days, when Alfred reorganizes, or when something gets broken and removed, Dick gets lost within his own head and searches in vain for land-markers and tells he was sure was once there. He knows that Bruce’s bedroom is down the hallway with the double mirror and portrait of a woman wearing deep blue, but how can he be sure when the portrait disappears one day and is replaced by a stool and some flowers? Surely he must be confusing things because Tim’s study is right across from the library door, which is always open and has a brass doorknob, but is that really true when the door with the brass handle is actually closed? There are two sets of stairs, one that leads into the kitchen and one that leads out to the back of the Manor, but Dick can’t tell the two sets apart anymore because the banisters got polished and he could only tell which was which because the one to the kitchen had a scuff mark on it from when Damian slid down its railing once. On those days, where everything and nothing is the same, Dick sits down in the middle of the floor and waits for someone to find him. Whoever finds him, and they always do, always look sad. He can’t quite understand why, but he’s just happy he’s not lost anymore

Every time Dick dreams, he feels the strong need to tell someone about them and keeps a journal to help him remember them. Because of the electrum serum administered to him since he was young, the element largely took care of every human weakness Dick ever had, including the physical need to sleep. The Court only ever took him out of cryo when he was needed to assassinate, and even then, every waking moment was spent training, learning, and traveling from place to place to do the Parliament’s bidding. When he is rescued, and for the first time ever given the choice to just sleep and do nothing, Dick dreams for the first time. It startles him because the dream felt very real, almost like a memory, but it’s horribly difficult to recall and he panics because memory-relapse and loss is scary when he knows he’s supposed to recall things perfectly. Jason ends up suggesting that Dick to keep a dream journal, as he too has trouble remembering what is a dream and what is a memory; the Lazerous Pit and being dead certainly did things to the brain surrounding remembrance. It helps to ease his anxiety, even if writing down “nightmares” (as everyone calls them) leaves him feeling worse than before

[ahsxual]

Save Me

Pairing: Detective David Loki x Reader

Summary: You and David have been together for a few months now. You knew his job was exhausting and obscure, but lately he had been spending less time with you and being more distant, until something he wasn't expecting happens...

Genre: Angst, fluff

Warnings: Kidnapping, violence, lots of swearing, children kidnap (since it's based on the movie)

Word Count: 4,1k

A/N: This one is dark!!! I'm so happy for finally writing a fic about Detective Loki, my sweet and handsome savior <33 I personally think that this piece is really cute and romantic, yet terrifying... Sooo, I hope you enjoy it! ^-^

You had no idea of what was happening... You didn't know why the love of your life has been so distant lately, and acting so weird every time he was around you... Had you done something wrong? Didn't he love you anymore??, you asked the same torturing questions to yourself every day, non-stop.

You were currently drinking a hot cup of cappuccino under five, comfortable, warm blankets while watching your favorite series, since it was really cold outside and you were by yourself. It was the middle of winter, so whenever you looked outside the window, all you could see was bright, comforting and gorgeous shades of white of sweet snow. Winter used to comfort you in a way no other season did: on those freezing days, you were able to spend all day in bed with David, warming each other's bodies in your tight embraces, and making love until you started feeling so hot that it seemed like summer had already arrived. But this time, you didn't feel any of that: you painfully missed your boyfriend. You missed your moments together, the sweet, yet rare laughs that managed to come out of his well-defined lips, knowing you were the only one that could achieve them... and that's why you were so special to him, because you were the only woman and person in this world who was able to make him feel truly happy, loved and accepted. Before you started dating, he was so worried that you would leave him sooner than later, or that anything bad would happen to you if he let you enter in his life so deeply... and he was also terrified of falling in love with you, because then it would too late for him to turn back.

It was already 1 am, and you had no messages, calls or even a sign that he was still alive.This was pure torture. You were trying to hold your tears back so hard, not wanting to feel weak once you let them fall, but it was inevitable for carrying so much suffering and not letting even a gasp out of your lonely and unloved body... at least that's how you felt. When you were about to turn off the lights to get ready to sleep, so you could refresh your mind and relax a little bit, you suddenly heard your front door being calmly knocked. It was strange since David would always use his keys to enter your house, but you had been missing him way too much to think properly, so without thinking twice, you got out of bed and ran as quickly as you could to open the door for him... or at least that's what you wished.

"David!" you instantly called your lover's name, not having time to react once you realized it wasn't him.

"Sorry honey, David is not coming soon." with a maniac grin planted on his creepy face. That was all the stranger said before you felt a strong knock on your head, making you instantly fall unconscious.

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A few hours passed when you were finally able to open your eyes. Your entire body was sore and shaking from the freezing weather, and you could feel your own blood dripping down your forehead where the agressor had beaten you; your arms and legs were tightly tied with some cheap rope, and the only thing you were sure about was that you were inside someone else’s house.

"Where the fuck am I?! GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!" you screamed as loud as you could, hoping that someone would check up on you, so you could at least recognize the person who abducted you. You then heard excited whispers from a man saying: "She's awake!!", and you couldn't help yourself, but to feel disgusted and utterly scared of what could happen...

"Well, well, the sleeping beauty has already come to her senses!" an old woman entered the barely lit room you were currently being kept hostage, and you didn't hesitate to express your confusion.

"What the... who are you? Where the hell is your ass-hatted companion?" you blantantly asked, referring to the man who you saw previously at your front door. Out of the sudden, you felt a hard slap on your face, leaving a red mark behind.

"Fuck you, you crazy bitch!" you screamed at her, feeling a burning and painful sensation on your left cheek, spreading slowly all over your face.

"Watch your mouth, girl! Only because you're detective's whore doesn't mean you can say whatever you want! Here and now you will respect and obey me, until your sweet, handsome boyfriend comes find you. Then, I'll torture and kill him right in front of you... I mean, that is if he notices your absence at all." she started to laugh exaggeratedly at your face, her words hurting and cutting deeper than a sharpened kitchen knife. You turned your face away from the crazy lady, trying to cover your suffering and heavy tears from her... but it was useless.

"Aww, did I hit a soft spot, honey?" she pretended to be worried about you, moving closer to you and hunching over next to you, making you find the perfect opportunity to spit right onto her maniacal face. "Ughh, you fucking bi-"

"Wait!" the stranger who seemed to be the one who abducted you, interrupted her. You both looked at him confused, not understanding why he stopped her from beating you.

"Let me do it. I want to beat that fuck-head's girlfriend." the abductor approached you slowly, rolling up his sleeves excitedly before you felt the first punch of many on that night.

"Good job, boy. Entertain yourself while the detective wastes his precious time looking for that bitch instead of the kids." the psychotic woman said, casually, like what she just said wasn't an devilish plan at all. She must be so used to do this... poor children... if only I could save them like David does..., you devastatingly thought to yourself.

"How can you hurt the poor childrens who are so innocent compared to your disturbed mind?! How can you get pleasure out of it, you sick BASTARD?!!" you screamed with all the strenght you had in your throat and lungs. Oh, how you wished to kill those two pieces of trash with your own hands...

"You don't understand..." the man tried to excuse himself from the horrifying crimes he enjoyed so much to commit.

"OF COURSE I DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND, AND I NEVER WILL!! THEY ARE JUST CHILDREN, FOR FUCK SAKE!!" your lungs were burning by now, and your stinging tears were uncontrollably running down your beaten and sore bruised cheeks.

"Let her spill all that anger out of her chest, honey. We don't want her to get exhausted already." she smirked wickedly at you. "She will be our guest for a long time..."

---------------------------------------------------

Two days had passed, and you were still in that dark, small torture room that was once just a casual room. They barely fed you and offered you water to drink, causing your lips and mouth to be tremendously dry. Your face was covered in bruises and cuts, some deeper than others, yet they all bled and hurt like hell. You had lost track of how much time had passed that night. All you knew, was that you were suddenly awaken by a strong, yellow light and some little girl's deafening screams and pleading cries.

"Please, let me go!!" the poor young girl pleaded, yet no pleads of her were enough to stop the devil himself, also known as the owner of the house you were currently on.

"I brought you company!" she then carelessly pushed the little girl to the rigid ground. "Seems like your boyfriend is getting suspicious, so while I distract him, you two will remain shut before I kill you all. He’ll be the first one to go, surely." she smiled once again, before closing the door harshly. David is here?

The innocent girl cried harder when she heard the door being closed roughly, and since you didn't want anything bad to happen to both of you or to your boyfriend, you did your best to calm her down.

"It's ok sweetheart, I'm here with you now, you don't have to feel alone anymore. I promise I won't let anything bad to happen to you from now on, ok?" you sounded like your boyfriend and that thought made you smile weakly for an instant. The girl was still absurdly scared, all her trust and hope in human kind being completely destroyed by the terror she had been through at such a young age, which was totally understandable. She stepped back away from you when you tried to reach for her small and fragile hand, since you had managed to get your hands free by patiently untying the tight ropes like David had taught you. It was a technique you used in emergency situations, and this was one of them. He always prepared you for the worse, teaching you everything he had learned, so you could save yourself when he's not capable and things like this would eventually happen. You immediately withdrew your hand by instinct, but you weren't one to give up so easily.

"Can you... can you tell me your name..?" come one Y/n, you can do better than this. "I'm very hurt too... you see? So my only intention here is to get both of us out of here... she is a very bad woman, but I am not. You know, I'm detective's girlfriend who is looking for you since... the beginning. And your father is helping him! They are our saviors, so they will rescue us from this ugly place very soon." you kindly explained to her, trying to give her some faith and remind her of her family... remind her that this wasn't her reality. The world out there, united with her family and friends, is where she truly belongs. She looked at you intensely, and you could finally see some light of hope in those big, gorgeous eyes. Once again, you remembered your stunning lover and the loving stares he would give you all the time, the ones that never failed to give you goosebumps all over your skin.

"Is... is my father looking for me..?" she finally spoke to you. If you didn't know it was coming from her, you could swear that her voice belonged to an angel because of its sweetness and innocence. You almost let heartbreaking tears escape your tired eyes... but you had to remain strong for her.

"Of course, darling. He loves you so, so much, and he would never forget or give up on you." for the thousandth time, you remembered your sweet and lovely boyfriend again, and on how you deeply craved to hear those reassuring words come out of his mouth, instead. A moment of silence was installed for a few seconds, before she decided that trusting you should be probably the best, yet the only option available.

"I'm... I'm Anna by the way..." she whispered shyly, or should I say still afraid and suspicious. You then offered her the most gentle smile you could give in response.

"You have such a beautiful name, Anna. I'm Y/n, and I'm so glad to meet you. Of course I would prefer to meet you in any other circumstances, but..." you needed to change the subject urgently: she was just a child, so she wouldn't get your sarcastic comment like others would. "What about we all get a delicious ice-cream once we get back home, huh? You, your family, me and... my... boyfriend." you hesitate a little bit, still hurt because of your boyfriend’s behavior in the last few weeks. Why was he taking so long to save us?

"Yummy, ice-cream!" she said excitedly, yet you could notice how tired she still was.

Tired of waiting, you finally decided to use the technique you had learned that previously had helped your hand's blood flow properly in your veins, by successfully untying the ropes out of her sore wrists. The poor kid's hands must be so badly hurt as well...

"Come here, sweetie." you untied the old ropes that were restraining your leg's movements in case someone came in unexpectadly, that way you could defend you both. You then helped her by untying her own ropes and when you did, you suddenly heard a gun shot.

Anna started to scream while covering her ears, and you instinctively pulled her near you to protect her from the horrors outside. Out of nowhere, the door was abruptly opened and the old lady came up being extremely stressed. Your first instinct was thinking that Loki had been shot by her, so all your courage and hope had vanished in a single second.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!!!" you shouted at her and ran in her direction to beat her up as hard as you could without fearing the consequences, when suddenly you felt a hard sting in your arm: she pricked you with a needle that contained a drug that causes a person to have a heart attack in the next few hours or even minutes, if they aren't correctly treated urgently.

"Goddammit!" you then felt extremely dizzy and fell to the ground. The last thing you saw before falling unconscious, was David entering the room and putting the evil woman on the ground, trying to arrest her with any gentle manners, before she managed to pull a gun from her pocket and shoot herself, and Anna's screams for your name... however, you were too nauseaus to distinguish if all of that was really happening, or if it was just a hopeful hallucination of yours.

---------------------------------------------------

"Y/N!! Please baby, don't you dare to die on me... please wake up... FUCK!" David was starting to be quickly consumed by pure despair, shaking you to no end, hoping you would open your eyes in his arms and return to him, safe and sound: he had finally found you and Anna after spending the worst week of his life, but even then he still couldn't feel utterly relieved. He then grabbed the two of you carefully, and drove you to the nearest hospital.

"Please Y/n, stay with me, do you hear me?! I will not let you leave me that easily... please honey..." he was talking more to himself since you couldn't respond, and his distressed tears were difficulting his vision and eventually his driving, which wasn't a good thing at all.

"Don't worry detective, she will be fine... your girlfriend is a really strong woman." the young girl tried to calm the desperate and protective boyfriend, just like you did with her a few minutes ago, and he couldn't help but feel so proud of you, yet guilty for being so focused on work lately, instead of giving you the attention you so dearly deserved from him...

---------------------------------------------------

Hours passed and you were still in the hospital, unconscious. Loki didn't know what to do to himself... he wanted to punch himself so hard for letting this happen to you. And if there was a possibility that you could switch roles, you would have been awake a long time ago.

This was his worst nightmare, to let his work interfere with your relationship in the worst way possible. He didn't want to leave your side for anything: even with the doctors insistence, he threatened to arrest them all if they didn't let him be with you until you woke up, and believe me when I say he was pretty convincing. His strong, tattooed arms were supporting his heavy, anxious and furious mind on top of his legs, they had been shaking for hours now, non-stop. He felt so, so guilty, and he didn't think he could ever forgive himself for almost losing the love of his life because of his negligence... and, on top of that, knowing that he was so distant and careless with you in your probable last days. Out of nowhere, he heard a muffled sound of pain, making him instantly look up at you and ran to your side. His heartbeat increased at a speed which he didn't think it was even possible for a single human being to handle without having a stroke right then and there.

"Honey..?" he called for you, his eyes inevitably watering for the hundredth time that night. You never saw him crying before, so it surprised you to see his eyes glistening. You struggled to keep your eyes opened, because of the strong light that illuminated your hospital room, but when your vision finally adjusted itself and you looked at him for the first time in the last few days, it was like you were seeing God himself.

"Is this heaven..?" you asked confused, making him laugh softly. Only you could rip a smile from him in such a bad situation like this one.

"No honey, this is pure reality. You are at the hospital, but I'm here with you now." he firmly grabbed your fragile and bruised hands into his much bigger ones, and looked at you like you were about to get married.

"Are you... crying?" you asked, feeling worried when you noticed, once again, his eyes being much brighter because of the fresh tears that wanted so badly to come out. He immediately wiped them away with the back of his hand, making you laugh. Your man never liked to show his emotions to anyone, not even to you. Well, at least he tried his best not to show them to you.

"Just got uh.. something inside my eye..." he tried to find a valid excuse, but since you knew him too well, he ended up giving up. He then offered you the most reassuring smile at you, only for you to gladly return it. However, his smile didn't last too long once he realized the severity of your state, it started disappearing slowly while his hands grabbed yours even harder this time, his eyes never leaving yours while analyzing your face so carefully.

"Oh God... what did I do to you..." this time, he wasn't able to contain himself, yet he didn't care anymore to show you how hurt he really was. It was too much guilt for just one man to carry on his shoulders and heart, no matter how strong he was.

"Don't." you immediately exclaimed and he looked at you curiously. "What happened was not your fault, do you understand me? It could happen to anyone."

"No! " he exclaimed. "If I was there with you instead of wear out my mind with this fucking case..."

"Baby, stop. It's your job and you saved that innocent girl. If it weren’t for you, she could have been dead by now." your tone was serious, and he understood that you were the only thing trying to make him not be so hard on himself.

"But..."

"No "but's", David. You are our savior. And I couldn't be prouder of you..." you smiled at him, yet he didn't return it. An intense exchange of emotional glares, and a thoughtful, tense silence was planted for a few, long seconds.

"If... if we weren't together, nothing would have happened to you... I prefer to know that you're safe and healthy with another man, than..." he didn't have sure on what he was saying, it was too much to process... but there was one thing he was sure of: he wouldn't allow anything bad happen to you from then on.

"Don't you dare saying that again, David Loki. You are the man who I love with my whole being, more than anything, and I would give my own life to save you if it was the case. And I don't care how many times I have to be abducted to prove how much I want to be with you for the rest of my life." you never spoke so seriously in your life, and you genuinely meant every word you just said. You just couldn't live without him anymore.

"What the hell did I do to deserve you..?" he carefully approached you, giving you a slow, yet most passionate kiss you had shared in a long time, while soflty grabbing your head between his cold hands. His lips were dry, yet tasted like sweet honey, like they always did.

"Detective Loki- oh, I'm so sorry!" Anna's mother entered the room, feeling ashamed for interrupting your romantic moment.

"No problem, Miss Dover. Do you need something from me?" he seriously asked, getting immediately into the hardworking Detective Loki character.

"Actually, I wanted to thank you for all you did to-"

"Y/n!!" Anna ran towards you as soon as her eyes landed on your weak body. She hugged you carefully, so she wouldn't hurt you, and you instantly felt you heart melting inside your chest.

"Heyy Anna! I'm so happy to see again, my bravest girl!" she offered you a toothy grin, and you were mesmerized by the change of energy that you only knew from her back in that horror house. Both of her mother and your charming boyfriend looked at your and the girl's interaction, not expecting for you to become so close to each other.

"Can we go eat an ice-cream now, like you promised?? I'm so hungry!" she asked excitedly, her eyes filled of hope and joyful.

"She needs to rest, sweetie. Maybe another time. Anyway, thank you so much, detective, for finding my daughter." he nodded to her and then she looked at you with a kind smile in her face. "And thank you for protecting my daughter from those monsters, Y/n. I'll be eternally grateful for the two of you. I hope you get better soon." she thanked the two of you, before leaving the room with her daughter, to give you two some privacy.

"Bye Y/n!" the girl happily said goodbye to you.

"Bye sweetheart, see you soon!" you responded back, seeing her leaving the room right after her mom.

"She really likes you." your boyfriend said to you, wanting to make you feel better since he knew how overwhelming you felt everytime someone thanked you.

"Yeah, I guess..." you laughed. "She kept me company in there, you know? We helped each other so we didn't feel so lonely anymore..." you looked at your fingers while shyly playing with them, hoping that he would understand your attempts of silently saying how hurt you were. You then felt him coming in your direction and sitting right beside you.

"Sweetheart... I'm so, so sorry for letting you feel like you were alone... I was so stressed about work, and I didn't want to discharge everything on you..." he truly seemed regretful of his actions, so of course you would forgive him since he was such a honest man. But you needed to let him know how hurt you felt by his lack of attention and affection with you. "I love you so much, honey... I... I can't imagine my life without you anymore. I would be so lost..." his voice sounded extremely weak at his final words, since he tried to hold back his cry once again.

"I love you too, baby. So, so much..." you caressed his barely shaved cheek and kissed him softly on the lips. When you broke the kiss so you could stare at him properly, you hugely smiled at him out of nowhere.

"What?" he smiled back.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that maybe..."

"Maybe what?" he seemed really curious about what you were about to say. You continued to look at him while bitting your lower lip softly, wanting to see and memorize his reaction by what you were about to suggest.

"Maybe... we could have a baby of our own?" you calmly and very carefully said, not wanting to scare him away. His reaction was expressless, which scared you a little bit.

"Babe, I don't know... what if... what if something happens to our child?" he already started to worry and get stressed.

"You will never live your life if you keep thinking about the worst, on what could happen or not. Think more about you and your happiness... think more about us. With a baby in our arms." this time, his smile expanded until a big toothy grin was revealed on his gorgeous face.

"You're absolutely right. We definitely should have our own princess." he lovely glared at you, kissing your hands with the most gentle kiss he could afford.

"Or prince... Who knows."

[helaintoloki]

Hey lovin this prompt list sooo much!! I was wondering if you could write #38 from the 50 wordless things to say I love you list, with Five from TUA? Thanks :))

*38: letting them warm their cold hands under your shirt // taken from this prompt list

warnings: language, mentions of hypothermia, soft!five

“Shit,” Five curses lowly, making sure to keep his voice down so that you remain unaware of his frustrations. He doesn’t want you to worry, but he also knows that if he doesn’t get this fire going soon you’re going to die of hypothermia.

The weather conditions had been harsher than usual these last few days, and when the snow began to fall you’d been forced to hole up in the best shelter you could find. The basement of a church that was no longer standing was your only option, and though it kept you protected from the storm the insulation wasn’t enough to keep the cold out. Five did his best to keep the two of you warm with as much layers of clothing as possible, but it didn’t seem to be doing the trick for you as you sat huddled up against the wall shivering incessantly. You were only experiencing the first stage of hypothermia so there was still time to make it better, but with the fire refusing to start and Five growing more frustrated by the minute the situation seemed very bleak. But he wasn’t willing to give up on you just yet, and there was no way he was about to surrender the only thing that kept him sane since his arrival in the post-apocalyptic world to a snow storm. Not on his watch.

“Five?” You call gently, eyelids suddenly feeling very heavy as you try to blink away the drowsiness. “Can we go outside?”

“Not yet,” he replies in an equally gentle tone, his gaze taking you in carefully and his chest tightening at the sight of you. You’re beginning to succumb to the fatigue that accompanies stage two of hypothermia as well as confusion. He steps away from the fire for a moment to wrap you in another blanket, making sure to tuck the edges in tight so you’re completely encompassed in the ragged fabric. It isn’t much, but it’ll slow the process down just enough so that Five can have a chance to get the flames going.

After five frustrating minutes, the boy is finally able to get a small fire going. He’s quick to add in extra firewood to increase the size of your new campfire before quickly rushing over to you and escorting you to sit in front of the furnace. He makes sure you’re sat as close as possible and removes some of the blankets so that you don’t completely overheat. You’re exhausted, eyes shutting for longer periods of time than normal, and Five has to be sure to give you a gentle nudge each time you begin to nod off.

“Hey, stay awake,” he urges. “I know you’re tired but you need to stay awake for just a little while longer.”

“I’m cold,” you complain with slurred speech, prompting Five to furrow his brows with worry. Carefully taking one of your hands in his own, he inspects your fingers and finds that the tips are beginning to turn blue. You’re going to be okay now that the fire is going, but it’s going to take some time before you completely warm up, and Five doesn’t want to take any chances.

“I know you are. I promise it’s going to get better soon.”

He repositions himself so that he’s sitting comfortably close to you before taking your hands and slowly tucking them away underneath his many layers of clothing. Unlike your icy fingertips, his skin is warm and soothing to your chilly hands. A small sigh of contentment leaves your lips at the newfound warmth, but Five is stiff and uncomfortable as he adjusts to the sudden temperature change. Goosebumps litter his skin, but the act seems to help and for that he’s grateful. Can’t have you freezing to death on him.

“Can I go to sleep now?” You ask again, body slumping against Five’s form beside you. He checks for your pulse and finds that it’s beginning to strengthen, so it couldn’t hurt to allow you a chance to rest now.

“You can sleep now,” he finally permits, and he doesn’t miss the small smile of triumph that etches itself across your features as you shut your eyes and begin to sleep.

Five decides he can’t afford that luxury this time. He stays awake the whole night making sure to keep the fire going and checking your pulse every other thirty minutes to confirm that you are, in fact, alive. You weren’t built to survive an apocalypse, weren’t trained to fend for yourself like he had been, and so despite how much he often complained about having to carry your weight during your travels together, he felt it was his job to keep you safe. Despite all the destruction and all the chaos surrounding you both, you always managed to keep a smile on your face and never once let the darkness get the better of you. You were different and you were special, and Five would do anything in his power to make sure your light was never snuffed out.

When you wake the next morning your hypothermia is completely gone, though you now have a case of the sniffles and can’t travel until both the storm has stopped and your health has improved. But Five doesn’t mind tucking you in each night and feeding you soup, and whenever you grow cold he’s the first to offer the warmth of his body heat underneath his clothing for you to warm your hands— it worked like a charm the first time, and now it’s become a clutch the two of you rely on whenever you begin to teeter on the edge.

Five takes care of you, and in return you make things less lonely. And no matter how tough things get, it’s a solid deal you both can get behind.

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Seal Yourself Away || Morgan & Skylar

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @theskyeandsea & @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: Morgan finds a lost seal in the woods.

CONTAINS: drug use, body horror, chronic illness, body dysphoria

Wandering through the woods, Skylar ran her fingers on the bark of the trees that surrounded her, enjoying the rough sensation against her skin. Her boots left dark tracks through the snow as she haphazardly moved through the forest. She knew it should be cold, even with as warm as she ran, she knew that she should be shivering in her light hoodie. Mostly she felt the familiar, comforting embrace of Bliss, that buoyed her up and kept her up and up and up. But, she could feel the crash starting to come on, could feel the ache in her bones and the sensitivity of her peeling skin. Her fingers slipped into the pocket of her jacket and she pulled out the small baggie that Gabe had sold her. He’d told her that she’d take a little journey, that she wouldn’t feel anything, that it would be like nothingness. She wanted that. She did. As good as the Bliss was, the crash was awful. She’d woken up in the middle of the night, sheets stained with blood from where the sloughing skin had peeled and cracked, her entire body wracked with pain.

Pulling out one of the pills, Skylar popped it in her mouth and swallowed as she continued to walk through the woods. She wasn’t sure what it would do, but as the feeling in her legs began to slip away, as her fingers tingled and went numb-- before she realized what was happening, the world was suddenly sideways. She was dimly aware that she must have fallen over, that her legs must have buckled underneath her. And then, she wasn’t aware of anything at all.

Morgan knew she was coasting on some big Come to Gaia high with her daily trips into the woods, but maybe the feeling would last long enough to turn into habit and she’d have something actionable to rely on when she felt herself coming undone or latching on too tight to people. She picked her way over the frozen underbrush, plucking at low hanging boughs of pine to burn later as the old mundane witches did when they needed to heal. She was so wrapped in the meditative simplicity of her task, she didn’t notice Skylar until she stepped on her.

“Oh, shit! I’m sorr--Skylar?” The girl had a glazed look of ‘nothing and nowhere’ in her eyes that chilled Morgan with its familiarity. Slowly setting her basket down, Morgan knelt next to her. “Hey-- Skylar? Skye? What are you doing out here by yourself, huh?”

Where she went, Skylar wasn’t quite sure. But, it was like a dream while it was happening. It was like the best night’s sleep she’d never had, the way that the drugs pulled her deep into a sinking embrace. Her body was cold and still and her mind was free. Free of the body that she hated. Free of this form that she never wanted to be. She was coasting, she was dreaming, she was in a world that was nothing like the reality that had been forced upon her. It was everything she wanted.

And like everything she wanted, it came to an end. As awareness and life returned to her body, Skylar dimly realized that someone was next to her, that there was someone else in the wintery woods. Her fingers twitched slightly at her sides and her eyes, half-lidded opened with a very slow, dazed blink. The person was next to her and as their features slipped haphazardly into place, Skylar was able to recognize them.“Mo-rgan?” Her voice was rough, the way it sounded when she woke up. “What?”

Morgan brushed back the young girl’s hair and tried to guide her upwards to sit. “Yeah, it’s me, honey,” she said. “Long time no see. You were laying so still, I didn’t even see you there. You’re lucky I didn’t step on your fingers, huh?” Her voice was soft and comforting, like this was just a happy accident and nothing to worry about. But she couldn’t help but hear Leah’s warnings in her head about the girl. Decisions, consequences. Morgan peered in to Skylar’s eyes, searching them for some sign of clarity. “Do you wanna tell me what you were doing out here? You seem halfway frozen.” She bit back what else she wanted to say, I’m worried. Maybe there was an explanation for this that wasn’t completely heartbreaking, something that could be mended with just a little attention…

Body still limp from the drugs coursing through her system, Skylar did her best to do as Morgan urged her to. She sat up slowly, her head bobbling as she did so. Her neck felt weak and stiff and she could feel how cold it was, how really cold it was. But, her body was too tired to shiver, so she just sat there, blinking in the afternoon light. “Yeah, it’s been,” Skylar blew out a puff of air, vapor rising from her lips. “It’s been a while!” She said, her tone blithe and carefree. As Morgan asked why she was out here, Skylar shrugged as much as she could with her cold, stiff limbs. “I just wanted to be outside for a bit. I didn’t realize how pretty it gets out here, not really. I’ve spent sooo much time, just sitting inside. It’s so pretty out here.” She said earnestly.

Morgan picked out the leaves and damp out of Skylar’s hair as she spoke. She couldn’t feel how cold Skylar was, but she could take a guess from how much the dirt had stained her clothes. She braced Skylar’s head and tried to stable her enough to meet her gaze. “It is pretty, yeah. I love coming out here during the day. The snow sparkles like glitter and everything’s so quiet…” Morgan murmured distractedly. Skylar’s eyes wouldn’t focus, and the lilt in her voice was so strange and unlike her. Skylar wasn’t just content or happy, she was blissed out and numb and...fucking universe, she was high. A good trip, sure, but also one that might catch her hypothermia. “You uh, ook a little woozy there, honey. Can I take you back to my car? Get you some hot cocoa to warm you up?” And then you can tell me what you’re doing stringing yourself out in the cold. Morgan gave her an encouraging smile and stood, ready to pull Skylar up with her.

The coldness of Morgan’s hand against her head barely registered to Skylar, it was all cold. Everything was cold and still and pretty. Pretty because the world had finally slowed down to meet her. There was just too much going on, too much chaos and pain. And with the pills, everything had slowed to a crawl in her mind. Running her hand over her arm, Skylar brushed off some of the snow that had gathered on her skin. She stared at it for a moment before taking in Morgan’s question. “Nope! I’m good here.” She said, not wanting to move. She didn’t know if her legs would work, not like this. She was distantly aware of the fact that her legs were still numb and tingling, the barest hints of sensation present. “You don’t need to worry about me, I’m good!” She said, offering a thumbs up at the woman.

Morgan smiled goodnaturedly at Skylar, though her dread was only mounting higher in her chest. “I’m glad you’re not hurting right now, but you are going to get sick or frozen if you stay out here. Come on.” She scooped the girl up in her arms, gathering her basket as she did. “I’m gonna get you in the car and then I’m gonna hopefully figure out a way to sober you up so we can talk. There’s better ways to take the edge off, you know?” She gripped Skylar as tight as she could, trying to keep her long legs from dangling on the ground. She was hardly dressed for the weather. How much had she been thinking when she left? How much time did she spend like this?

There was a lot going on and Skylar just couldn’t get her head around it all. Everything was happening so much and Morgan was here and the world was speeding up again, all while she was still here. On the ground. Stuck in place. And she wanted to stay there among the trees, in the snow. At Morgan’s words, Skylar blinked in confusion, starting to protest. But, before she could get the words out, Morgan had already picked her up and she was being carried out of the woods. “What are you-- no, put me… stop,” Skylar said feebly, trying to push away from the other woman. But, her limbs refused to obey her, the effects of the pill lingering still. At the mention of the word sober, Skylar’s eyes narrowed. “I’m fine.” She was. She was fine, she was better than fine, she wasn’t hurting right now. And that was good.

As Morgan marched back to her car, she couldn’t help but notice how hard she wasn’t trying to keep Skylar from escaping her grip. She felt hollowed out in a way she hadn’t at the carnival. “Hypothermia in the woods isn’t fine, Skye,” Morgan sighed. “Or eaten by critters, or hunted because you were too out of it to protect yourself. You can do what you want, but I’m not leaving you until you’re fed, hydrated, and at least a little more clear-headed. We’re almost to the car where it’s nice and warm, okay? You think about where you want to grab a bite.” She could see the Subaru in the distance and sogged faster through the slush to get Skylar safe.

“I’m fine.” Skylar repeated. Those things weren’t going to happen, and even if they did, it didn’t matter, did it? None of this really mattered. At least she wouldn’t have to deal with that awful fear that gripped her every time something chased after her, at least she wouldn’t have to stare death in the eyes and know that they were going to try and kill her. If something happened, at least she wouldn’t face reality. “I don’t want your help, I don’t need it.” She said, shaking her head. Why was Morgan here? Why was she even here? Why did she care? Because they were friends? Maybe so, but she didn’t want Morgan to see her now. She didn’t want to see anyone. No one needed to see her, no one… needed her.

“I appreciate that you might have some kind of uncomfortable feeling about being seen like this and I’m crashing on whatever kind of trip this is. But I love you, Skylar, and I wouldn’t be a good friend if I left you on the ground while you’re in some kind of danger,” Morgan said firmly. “A burger isn’t gonna fix your malnutrition or change your life, and neither is a talk. I’d like to know where you’re coming from with this, what even--what hurts so much that this becomes your good?” She made it to the Subaru and wriggled her fingers around to get her keys and the doors unlocked without dropping Skylar. She didn’t like the sound of any of this. She knew Skylar had problems with being a selkie, that she’d once wanted a cure, but this wasn’t a cure to anything, right? There wouldn’t be a Skylar to live ‘normal’ if she wound up passed out dead somewhere.

Loved her? Was a good friend? Skylar’s hands came up to push against Morgan’s body, trying to squirm away from her. She didn’t love her, she didn’t care about her, she didn’t. “You don’t mean that.” She said, shaking her head once more. “You aren’t-- you don’t care about me.” She said. Because if Morgan did, why was she only showing up now? Why was she picking now to try and help her? She had been trying so hard for days and weeks and months to be what she should. Happy. Comfortable with herself. Confident in what she was. But now Morgan was here, to, to try and pick up the pieces? “Let me out of the car, Morgan.” She said, turning in the seat to stare intently at Morgan. She wanted to get out of the car, she didn’t want to be trapped in here with her. But, her legs barely moved from under her, her fingers were still stiff and cold. She couldn’t hardly move even if she wanted to.

Morgan punched her finger on the child safety lock button on the driver-side door and started to drive out of the woods. “I care about you, Skylar. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be spending this energy carrying you out of the woods and fighting you to get some nutrition. If I didn’t care, I would leave you to get sick or die. But we’re here and I am trying for you. You can say or feel whatever you want until we get to Al’s, unless you want to throw out a suggestion of your own.” She took her time slowly on the road, driving almost the speed limit exactly. Maybe if she took long enough, Skylar would let something spill, or exhaust whatever was in her system if she didn’t exhaust her feelings.

“Then let me out and let me go and just leave me alone.” Skylar said, fingers struggling to curl around the handle of the door. But, by the time she had managed to reach the handle, she found that the door wasn’t budging. It was locked? What? Had Morgan, had she used the child locks? Staring at the door for a long moment, Skylar turned to glare at her. “Let. Me. Out.” She said, fists forming at her side as she gritted her teeth together, the sharp points digging into her gums. “I don’t want to be here with you, I don’t want your, your… pity.” She said, trying to get a handle on the roiling emotions within her. Anger was bubbling in the pit of her stomach, hot and burning, but it was trapped below a sheet of numbness. The effects of the pill she’d taken? She didn’t really know, but it was all so overwhelming.

“Mmhm, I feel like you’re asking me to not care about you with that statement, but that’s just not something I’m willing to do. I love you Skylar, and I have a really hard time giving up on people as a general rule.” Morgan said. She winced as Skylar found the door handle and, consequently, the safety locks. “I don’t pity you, Skylar. I love you. And if you want to call someone else to come sit with you and get you fed and cleaned up, my phone is in the cup holder. But I don’t have it in me to abandon you while you’re like this. Don’t ask me to.” She let out a long breath and rolled, very slowly, to the next stop light. “I’d rather you tell me why you feel like you have to do this. What’s hurting you, Skylar?”

That word again, there it was. And the sound of it made Skylar’s blood boil over. “Then where were you? If you love me, where were you? Where’s anyone? Stop staying that you love me when you don’t, when no one does, and LET ME OUT.” Her voice raised to a shout and she slammed her hand against the side of the window. Her body was still limp and weak, but she could make a noise. And even if she couldn’t hear it, other people would. They’d be able to hear the pounding of her hand against the glass of the car door. “Let me out of this car, right now, or I’ll scream.” She said, some of her strength returning as she slammed her hand against the window again. “Let me out!”

“What, the times I said I’m here for you tell me what I can do? Or you don’t have to be fine, you can talk to me? Or you don’t have to hold onto your hurt? You can tell me anything? And then you refused to say anything else besides ‘I’m fine’? Those times, Skylar?” Morgan shot back. “I can admit I haven’t been the picture of stability, but you don’t get to say no one has ever tried for you!” Then Skylar was beating her head into the window and Morgan swerved into the wrong lane, screaming. “Skylar!” She swerved back and pulled on the girl with all her strength, keeping her as close to her and away from the windows as possible. “You’re not gonna scare a banshee’s girlfriend with the threat of screaming, Skylar. But you know what? Go ahead. This is more communication than I’ve had from you in months! This is an amazing change of pace! I’ll even drive all around town to make sure you really get everything out of your system!” Something must have been knocked loose in Morgan, because she was more than willing to do it. Anything seemed better than leaving Skylar to her own devices like this, no matter how batshit.

Her hands had only slammed against the window a few times before Morgan had wrapped an arm around her, pulling Skylar away from the side of the car. The coldness of Morgan’s hands around her shoulders sent a shiver down her spine that was quickly replaced with a hiss of pain as the woman pulled on her. The material of her shirt rubbed against one of the sores on her shoulder and Skylar wanted to pull away, wanted to fling herself back at the car door. But, the cotton wedged between Morgan and her own skin clung to the sore and pulled at the slightest movement. So instead, Skylar went limp. Her body sagged against the woman’s restraining grasp. The anger that had come over her in an instant, it had disappeared just as quickly as it had came. And she was left tired, limp, her muscles and bones aching and weary. She didn’t want this, didn’t want any of this. She’d never asked for this. Shouldn’t Morgan understand that? Why couldn’t Morgan let her be?

“Fucking, fucking, fucking universe…” Morgan hissed as she drove. She felt Skylar go limp, but didn’t dare let go completely. This was a whole other level of uncharted territory, but she couldn’t turn away now. How could she? “Talk to me, Skye. You want someone to show up for you? I’m here for you. At least until you sober up, minimum. Because you are not okay. I know a crisis when I fucking see one. I’ve been on the ass side of the concrete enough times to know.” Not with anything other than alcohol, but Morgan hoped the principle was still the same. “Tell me what hurts, honey. I’ve literally got all the time in the world.”

She knew a crisis when she saw one? Skylar’s entire life had felt like one giant crisis since she’d moved to this town. She let out a thin laugh, shaking her head at the other woman’s words. She wasn’t okay, she’d never been okay. And while she thought she’d gotten good at hiding it, that was the problem, wasn’t it? She hid it. So no one could ever know. No one ever knew. And now, when Morgan was asking what was wrong, Skylar couldn’t bring herself to tell her what had happened. She didn’t want to have to tell Morgan about what she’d been through, didn’t want to relive every awful, terrible moment she’d faced since that day at the carnival. “Everything. Everything hurts.” She said quietly. “I just don’t want to hurt anymore.” Skylar mumbled into the woman’s arm.

Morgan moved her hand up to press Skylar into her shoulder. She plucked at the messy clumps in her hair, sighing deep in her chest with dismay. “I’m sorry, Skye,” she said gently. “I know how a feeling like that can break you inside. I really, really do. But I don’t think this is how you make it better. I don’t think this is how the hurt really goes away. It’s still there when you wake up again, however fast you try to run or hide. But oh, Skylar…” She kissed the top of her head and wheeled around another bend in the road, taking the long way into town. “Can you tell me about your hurt? Because I wanna understand. I do.”

Morgan was sorry? Sorry didn’t change things. Sorry didn’t change the fact that her parents had abandoned her, that Ricky had abandoned her, that Winston had left town, that so many things were just falling apart and Skylar had no idea how to put them together. Sorry didn’t ease the pain. Curling her legs into herself in the chair, Skylar shook her head. “I don’t. I can’t. It’s too much, it’s all too much.” She didn’t want to talk about it, she could barely handle thinking about it. Really, she couldn’t even do that. The Bliss, the mushrooms, even the small pill she’d taken in the woods this morning, they’d all taken her away from the memories and thoughts that lurked in her mind. “I don’t want to hurt anymore.” She repeated.

“Then just one thing, Skylar,” Morgan said. “What if telling someone about one specific thing and trying to bury it somewhere that’s not yourself or your digestive system is how some of it hurts less? Because passing out only to come back down feeling just as broken and sad as before if not worse is no good, Skye. I love you, and I know other people love you too, and none of us want this for you. Help me take some of it out, huh?”

On some level, Skylar knew that what Morgan was saying made sense. That she should try to talk about it, that she should open up. But she couldn’t. She had been trying for so long, had been fighting to keep herself whole for so long. And she was tired, so very, very tired of it all. Shaking her head, Skylar brought her knees up into her chest, curling in on herself in the passenger seat of Morgan’s car. Maybe people cared about her, maybe they loved her, maybe the things that Morgan was saying were true. But, she didn’t want them now. It was too little, too late.

[freckles-things]

GO Secret Santa

It was a cold, grey and rainy night. One would expect to look outside and see a beautifully decorated street, illuminated doubly by the reflecting sparkles of the snow - it was Christmas Eve after all. 

This year however, the gloomy outsides represented the general atmosphere. The year had been hard. And even though it had had its good days and events and had shown just how much kindness and love humanity can carry, people were feeling exhausted by its ups and downs and the mental toll it had taken on many. Those living alone or having family in other countries had to accept that they would celebrate alone.

A certain pair of supernatural beings hadn't had the best year either. While a certain demon had tried to sleep the time of social distancing away (only waking up once a month to make sure the situation hadn't changed), a certain angel had spent a lot of the time alone. In the beginning he had been sad and a little disappointed, but after a good two months he had endeavoured to help his humans during this state of crisis (like he had done in many before) and bring them little slivers of joy.

Today both beings sat in the comfortable backroom of the bookshop. They (Aziraphale) had eaten a simple but delicious meal and were currently nursing their mulled wine.

Crowley had listened as his angel had told him all about what he'd done the last year, he himself didn't have anything to talk about. However, he couldn't deny the slight pang of guilt as he listened. He knew that Aziraphale must have felt lonely during all of this, but he'd always been exceptionally bad at dealing with those situations. In the past he'd taken the credit hell did give him (always for things he hadn't done) and went to sleep, not being able to deal with all the misery.

As he watched his angel talk excitedly, the glow of the fireplace making his face glow even more, a sudden idea popped in his had. They'd never danced together.

With a snap of his fingers a soft melody started to sound through the room.

"What's this, my dear? You could have just told me if I was talking too much", he said while directing a bemused smile at the demon.

Crowley however disregarded the statement and held out his hand. 

"Dance with me, Angel."

"What? My dear,  you know that I don't dance."

"Please, angel?"

Well, Aziraphale never really could refuse him if he said please, so sighing a little he placed his hand in Crowley's and let himself be pulled towards his lanky frame.

For a moment he stood awkwardly, looking at the demon. 

"I don't really know what to do..."

Crowley just threw a crooked grin at him and pulled him even closer, until he was able to wrap his arms around his angels waist.

"Just lay your hands on my shoulders, angel. And for someone's sake, relax! Just follow my movements"

A little hesitantly he followed Crowley's instructions, and they soon started to softly sway to the music.

"When you're still waiting for the snow to fall

Doesn't really feel like Christmas at all"

Outside the rain had nearly stopped,  only a few drops still falling onto the ground. And while many windows were illuminated by a soft, warm glow, the usual cheery atmosphere was absent.

Taking his gaze away from the window, Aziraphale let his eyes wander the planes of his shop. Everything was familiar, but it always felt more like home when Crowley was there.

"Up above candles on air flicker

Oh they flicker and they float

And I'm up here holding on

To all those chandeliers of hope"

He was glad to have his demon back. He would never begrudge him his coping mechanism, he knew that Crowley was rather sensitive to the negative feelings of humanity. Once, in the beginning,  he had convinced him to help during a human made crisis. Crowley had been miserable,  feeling the despair and sadness tenfold. After that, after seeing how much it hurt him, he never asked again. Still, he had helped in many instances. The great flood, the plagues and several wars, just to name a few. And Aziraphale respected and loved him so much for it, he wasn't sure if he had been able had their positions been reversed. Thinking about it, he couldn't help but tighten his grip a little.

Meanwhile, Crowley was thinking along similar lines. He thought about how Aziraphale always had been one of the first to help humanity trough one of their crises, often while Heaven had frowned upon his actions. He'd even acted against explicit instructions a few times, taking his punishment in strides and with his head held high. He often mused over the fact that the humans were very lucky to have his angel's loyalty. As was he.

As Aziraphale's grip tightened slightly, he couldn't help but pull him a little closer towards himself.

"Like some drunken Elvis singing

I go singing out of tune

Saying how I always loved ya darling

And I always will"

"I am so lucky to have you, Angel. I don't think I've ever told you how much you mean to me", Crowley murmured into Aziraphale's ear. A contend hum was his answer until he answered just as quiet: 

"I've always known,  my dear. I can feel it. Besides, I am the lucky one, really,  to be the one to have you in my life. It would be dreadfully dull without you".

Silence fell over the room, only the soft sound of the music filling their ears.

"Besides, the bookshop never quite feels the same when you're not around. It feels more like home when you're in it", Aziraphale confessed after a short while.

A soft "Ngk" was his only answer for a while. He didn't mind, though. He knew that Crowley needed to process what he'd said. 

"I don't know what to say, angel." His voice was soft, but a little helpless. 

"You don't have to say anything,  darling"

"Those Christmas lights

Light up the street

Down where the sea and city meet

May all your troubles soon be gone

Oh Christmas lights keep shining on"

Silence reigned for another few moments,  before Crowley opened his mouth again.

"I am sorry that I wasn't around those past few months, then. I just..."

Aziraphale brought one hand up to gently cup his cheek. 

"You don't have to apologize, Crowley. I know how hard this is for you. I'd never force you to go through that. It's just something I realized during the last months. It's rather funny, to be honest.  I was talking to an elderly Lady, who told me that she'd learned to appreciate the presence of her loved ones during this Pandemic. She said, she noticed that she'd always taken it for granted until now. And I realized that I'd done the same."

He finally looked up to meet Crowley's gaze. Their eyes locked, and the demon seemed to search his face for something he apparently found.

A crooked smile appeared on his face.

"A loved one, huh?"

"Oh Christmas lights

Light up the street

Light up the fireworks in me

May all your troubles soon be gone

Those Christmas lights keep shining on"

Aziraphale could feel the slight blush creeping up his face, but he still kept his eyes locked on Crowley's.

A simple "yes" was his answer.

A blazing grin lit up the demon's face, as he moved his hands to cradle his angel's face. 

"I guess that's the moment I should tell you that I love you too".

Warmth cursed through Aziraphale's body, and he couldn't help the stupid little grin that appeared on his face.

Seconds later warm lips pressed against his in a chaste kiss. Both supernatural beings had expected it to be grand and exciting,  like a firework going off. However,  what the kiss felt like was something far simpler. It felt like coming home.

Laying his forehead against Aziraphale's after he broke the kiss, he hummed happily.

"Sooo, I think I should set up camp in the bookshop then? I mean, I'll probably go back to sleep in January and if you feel better with me being here, I should find a spot where I can sleep. I also think I wouldn't be too grumpy if you woke me up sometimes", he grinned.

The next moment Aziraphale had pulled him back into a kiss, both beings sighing happily and feeling like they'd finally settled down.

Outside the now falling snowflakes reflected the warm glow from the fairy lights.  The laughter of children could be heard, as some if them ran outside to greet the snow. Smiling faces looked outside windows to watch the first snow of the season fall.

Everything wasn't perfect, it was far from it. But in those moments they gathered the courage and strength to hold on for some more, in hopes that the next Christmas would be spent amidst family and loved ones again

------

The GO Secret Santa Present for @adhdfangirl (I used my second account to post this (entered with the Secret Santa with @potterheadandsherlocked , so don’t be confused).

I hope you enjoy it! I wish you a very happy christmas :)

(The song is Christmas Lights by Coldplay)

[aetm-malereaderimagines]

Kageyama’s birthday — Kageyama Tobio x Male Reader

It’s already past midnight in Japan but it’s still 22nd where I live sooo I’m still gonna post this lol. It’s a teeny-tiny short story no one requested or wanted and it’s not the best thing I’ve ever written but I still wanted to celebrate my precious awkward blueberry’s birthday! In this story, Kageyama gets a gift on his birthday from a mysterious admirer and embarks on a quest of finding out who it was. Enjoy!

(Also please ignore the fact that I set this story on a weekday while it’s actually Sunday today. I honestly didn’t realize until the very end.)

Pairing: Kageyama Tobio x Male Reader

Word Count: 1113

常ならぬ誕生日 — A not-so-usual birthday

It was a sunny December morning. Kageyama was walking up the hill, on his way to school, the cold winter air biting his cheeks and nose, seeping through his scarf and down his chest, penetrating his clothes and skin. It was quite cold, even for Miyagi, probably the coldest day this year so far. Kageyama shivered and quickened his pace. The morning practice would warm him up but he needed to get there first.

Kageyama walked down the hallway with a tired expression painted on his face. This had been the most exhausting practice in his life. Nishinoya-san and Tanaka-san literally _jumped _at him screaming “HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAGEYAMA”, knocking him down in the process, Hinata kept awkwardly trying to compliment him during practice, which only made him feel uncomfortable, and Tsukishima just wouldn’t stop teasing him about “getting older but not much taller.”

As he walked into the classroom through the back door, from the corner of his eye, he noticed someone just exiting through the other door, and that someone almost bumped into Hinata, who was also just entering. Kageyama didn’t pay much attention to it—that is, until he got to his desk and noticed a small, flat, neatly-packed box lying on top of it. He looked around perplexed, as though that would help him figure out where this box came from, despite that fact that he and Hinata were the only ones to arrive at the classroom this early. He sat down and stared down the box suspiciously. It was wrapped in black-and-orange paper and didn’t seem to be bothered by his stare. How insolent of it. Deciding it couldn’t be dangerous, Kageyama slowly lifted the box with his fingers and tore away the paper. As the colorful scraps fell onto his desk, Kageyama’s eyes widened, seeing what lay underneath. He jumped up to his feet, knocking his chair down with a loud BANG, scaring Hinata out of his mind.

“What the hell, Kageyama?!” exclaimed his friend, turning to him with a glint of fear and anger in his eyes.

“You—did you put this here?” Kageyama asked, showing no care for Hinata’s surprise.

“I put what where?” said Hinata, confused. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“But if it wasn’t you…” Kageyama squinted. He wasn’t the brightest of the all but even he could connect the dots together. He stared Hinata down. “Do you remember the person that almost bumped into you when you walked in?”

Hinata looked even more confused than before.

“I guess… I don’t know who it was but he certainly was a second-year student! I saw the pin on his collar!” Hinata actually seemed kind of proud of his observation skills.

Without giving it a second thought, Kageyama grabbed the box and then Hinata by his collar. “You’re coming with me,” he said and rushed toward the second-year classrooms before Hinata could protest.

“Okay so is he here?” Kageyama asked, peeking into one of the classrooms through a crack between the door and the door frame. Hinata, as disgruntled as he was, begrudgingly leaned in to also look. Even so, his eyes glistened when he found who they were looking for.

“It’s him, Kageyama! The guy in the front standing by the windo—Kageyama?!”

But Kageyama was already slamming the door open, making all eyes turn to him though he couldn’t care less; his gaze was fixated on that one guy.

“Sempai!” he called the upperclassman, walking slowly towards him. “Can I have a word with you?”

“Kageyama…” the guy said and immediately covered his mouth, realizing he shouldn’t probably know Kageyama’s name. Kageyama, on the other hand, smirked to himself. Bingo.

“There’s something I want to ask you about, sempai,” he said, grabbing the upperclassman’s hand and dragging him along outside, as excited whispers swept the classroom. “Hinata!” he shouted in the direction of the redhead, “If the teacher asks about me, tell him I’ll be late!” And so he was off, dragging the now completely red-faced boy down the hallway and leaving Hinata staring after them in pure terror.

“So,” Kageyama said as soon as they reached the backyard, “is it you who gave this to me,” he asked, holding out the gift so that the upperclassman could see it. “How did you know I liked this band? I don’t even know you.”

The older of the boys turned his eyes away.

“I heard you talking about it with that blonde girl,” he mumbled. “And I also really like it. And I also overheard guys from your team saying it was your birthday today. And the album only came out yesterday so I figured you wouldn’t have bought it yet so…” He kicked the ground bashfully, causing a puff of dust to rise up.

“Okay, but why would you buy it for me?” Kageyama was as blunt as they come and he wasn’t planning on beating around the bush this time either.

“I… I’ve been going to your games, and also watched your practice a few times, and I guess I just thought you were really cool and that Iactuallylikeyouandwanttodosomethingforyoueevenifyoudidn’tlikemeback.” He just spitted the last part out so fast Kageyama could barely understand it.

But he did. And now he was red.

“I… Thank you,” Kageyama managed to say as his mind was racing. He thought he’d never need anything else if he had volleyball but… maybe this was his chance? His pounding heart certainly wanted it to be.

“Your number,” he spewed out.

“Huh?”

“Give me your number. We can hang out after my practice. And talk about the band. Or the album. Get to know each other. Or something.”

“Eh? Ah, o-okay?… I mean, yeah, sure, I’d love to!” The older boy exclaimed, frantically searching for his phone in his pockets. “I’ll go home and get changed and I’ll come back for you. C-call me when you finish your practice?” he added shyly.

“Sure,” Kageyama said just as the bell rang throughout the school. “We should get back for now though.”

“Yeah, let’s.”

On his way back, Kageyama couldn’t stop smirking. Maybe his birthday wasn’t going to be that bad after all.

Later that day, Kageyama rushed out of the gym after practice to find his date waiting just outside the school gate. The older boy was puffing into his hands to warm them up. On the spur of the moment, Kageyama took his hand, averting his gaze.

“It’ll be warmer this way,” he mumbled.

His date smiled.

“Yeah,” he said. “Let’s go.”

“Let’s.”

As they were walking down the hill, snow—the first snow this winter—started slowly falling upon the couple, engulfing them in its soft, comforting embrace.

[coolgirl]

Jason expert rate Jason’s designs

sorry for being late i was busy with school but now i’m free so to celebrate. jason indulgence.

pre-crisis not robin

very cute. i like that it has a lil more of flair to it? the collar and the lines on the gloves and the shorter cape.. also love it has pants. king rlly king. wonder if they already knew he was gonna be robin anyways or if they were still considering nightbird. anyways, 8/10 bc its cute

pre & post-crisis robin (bc its basically the same)

i mean its a classic.. however it reminds me jason was the only robin who was simply given dick’s clothes rather than like. have an unique look? which sucks. 7/10 middle child syndrome is REAL

post-crisis robin (winter edition)

OKAY NOW THIS. i absolutely love. is it tacky? oh yes without a doubt. i still love the pants and the sleeves. finally winter clothes for this child, especially considering his new titans scene where he was bitching about the costume not being snow proof. he got what he wanted! 9/10

new 52/rebirth costume by

EPIC. IDC I LOVE IT.the circles on his arms and his boots.. the lines on his legs.. i just love it. i love the red mask too… it feels.. not more unique, but feels more jason-y than the other costume. 10/10

NOW. onto older stuff

hush

as u can see im VERY confusion about the pouches and the straps?? why??? whats the purpose.. generally its fine. the white strand moved a nation and i think the chest piece is cool, but everything else.. uglee. like the long as hell jacket and him looking 40 years old like why r u 19 looking like fifty? ugly white man. 5/10

winicks/utrh version

LITERALLY A CLASSIC. i love this costume sooo much. like jason obviously grew out of it, as in it wouldnt make sense for him anymore to go with something like this as his main costume because i feel like this fit the utrh mood (him not veing a vigilante/hero/villain whatver but trying to be a mob boss n shit) and it just. fucks. i love the helmet just being plain with no stupid mouth or nose shape. i simply love it. 10/10

nigthwing

its just. its just the nightwing costume. didnt even try he just stole that from dick. he still rocks it and looks better than dick, and u gotta give him points for accessorizing with his dagger. 7/10

red robin 

im not. a big fan of this costume.. i think the cowl is ugly, it just does not work for someone as big as jason… however i do like why he took this mantle and what it meant.. 6/10 no words head empty. 

oh brother. furryman

ITS SUCH AN UGLY COSTUME. muzzle batman walked so muzzle red hood could run. its just. ugly like ugly. i dont like the ears or again the muzzle or whatever the hell is going on in the arms.. its just so edgy. 5/10

WANNA KNOW WHAT A SEXY EVIL BATMAN COSTUME LOOK LIKE?

Injustice 2 batman

I2 HAD IT IN THE BAG BABY. i like that its like classic batman costume but again! with some jason touches! the red eyes, the electric tiddies making a comeback.. epic genuinely epic. 10/10

and if ur not into evil jason

100% dad ‘i have my life figured out’ batman jason 

just like the nightwing costume this is just. batman costume. nothing special or different from it so its like did u even try? BUT in this scenario it actually means smth that he stuck to bruces costume.. sweet.. but boring. 7/10

speaking of. evil ugly designs. ugh i hate this.

this motherfucker

ive never. ever. felt as humiliated by a costume than thetime jason wore this. like MORTIFYING RLLY. its DISGUSTINGGG. the helmet shape. the fucking WHITE. the SKULL PLEASE WHO DESIGNED THIS WHO HATES ME IN PARTICULAR SO MUCH??? THIS MAN DOES NOT FUCK! HES UGLY! HE STINKS!!!! the red guns are epic that much i can say. LOOK AT THOSE PANS GOD ITS SO HUMILLIATING. 0/10 WORST COSTUME EVER.

HOWEVER. winick and the artist spun GOLD from it, because next time jason wore possibly my favorite costume to date

this motherfucker…2!

like look how much better it looks with a little of swag.. the helmet without eyes.. the belts.. the fucking leather jacket.. keeping the red guns/gloves.. like seriously i dont know a better man. the skull is still awful and i wouldve replaced the white for black and MWAH best costume. like the black part at the top make it all red and the white make it black.. god this jason fucks massively i love him. 11/10 my favorite by a landslide perhaps

new 52/rebirth red hood

OKAY I KNOW theyre slightly different (rebirth has shorter sleeves and a more padded look) but to me its like. same thing. okay i think its.. fine. its not phenomenal but its not ugly.. i like the brown jacket more than the black jacket i have to admit, its more distinctive and i simply like the color more, however i do not.. like jason having the bat symbol.. but thats also a me thing about how badly written this is. anyways. the helmet with the mouth disgusts me and everytime its drawn like that its humilliating. like. 7/10. maybe 7+. when it has the mouth or like nose ANY FACIAL EXPRESSION RLLY its a 5. 

wingman

oh i absolutely despise that helmet. he looks like fucking. terminator. its the ugliest shape ive ever seen and the visor is.. huge. i dont like the shoulder pads either idk what the fuck its going on with the thing around his neck either.. like hes. knockout batman and i HATEEE IT. damians costume slaps tho. i just… its… ugly. like.. 3/10. 

get damian back arc red hood costume

oh im a HUGE fan of this design.i love how his costume is designed in a way thats like. if jason was a dnd character he absolutely would be a tank. the padding, the red undertones everywhere, i just.. love it. i like how all the costumes were done to reflect their personalities you know.. i like this robin red hood hybrid. 9/10 would even say 10/10 bc i just enjoy how gleason draws jason.

red hood/arsenal costume

its like. i dont hate it completely (i love the way the hood+helmet looks) and thats.. yeah thats pretty much all i like about it. i HATEEEE the vest i hate it fr.i hate how huge the sumbol is and idk this costume just does not spark joy. 5/10

outlaw costume

okay this one. this one drives me insane. because like. okay i dig parts of it. i like the lack of sleeves. i like the gloves thingies. i like the hood. i could get aboard him ditching the helmet - it breaks all the damn time anyways. i like the stripes on his pants in the boots. ALL SEPARATE? NEAT. now i hate. hate. the muzzle. like WHY IT LOOKS SO UGLYYY LIKE SO UGLY like unless the artist GETS IT and is SEXY it looks awful. look at this

AWFUL. also like it made sense for when he was on the run and he had to make do and assemble a costume from what he had but like now hes sponsored by lex, get that man a goddamn new suit already please. anyways. 6/10.. like i said i like many elements from it but its still.. kinda ugly all together and depends A LOT on the artist.

three jokers

im torn on this one.. i think its a bit boring.. i dont rlly like the top part, it reminds me SOO much of that one tt issue where he beat the fuck out of tim while wearing a robin costume like i understad the implications of him wearing a costume thats similar to the robin blouse but im not a big fan.. also i prefer the brown leather jacket. its like not his worst costume by far but not the best.. like pretty basic?  i would say 6/10

NOW SOME AUS.

tiny titans & lil gotham

okay these two are like. pretty much the canon versions of robin and red hood HOWEVER they both have details that are different from the original version and DESERVE a mention. the curls on robin jason and jasons red gloves/belt are ICONIC. whoever designed them knew what they were about, so 10/10 best bapy jason.

arkham knight

does the person who designed this know how much theyve done for the lgbt community? i hope they do. i love.. a lot about this costume. i love the ears, i love how techno it is, i love the layers to it.. im.. not a big fan of the whole military thingy but i have to admit that applying it to the design itself is kind of neat.. i love the colors too and how.. practical it is while being. well. kinda dramatic? the whole bat aesthetic.. yeah. i love it. 9/10

arkham red hood

this one.. when u think about it the outlaw version is VEEERY similar to this one: the pants, the hood, the jacket eve. however i like this helmet so much more, i have a weakness for eyeless (??) helmets.. i like the little details of it as well, i remember that pic going around of it being held together with like. fuckign stitches and bandaids. legendary. i love this look, i would say 9+/10

injustice 2 jason

okay gonna go ahead and say it: not a big fan of the helmet. it looks like.. a bug? the lenses do not spark joy. this bitch has many styles and like toners etc and i will no rate them all. i think its a pretty basic design, not the best but not the worst either. like if it was an exam i would make them pass but make faces at what im reading like eeehhhgh. 7/10.

hag jason

middle one is like literally, on the outside and superficial level, just. his usual costume. the jacket and the grey kevlar and the bat. now the gloves are sexy as hell.. and in the whit ebackground one u can appreciate the under costume better and i really like it?? i just.. like the design. I HATE HOWEVER the bat helmet. WHY IS IT HOLLOW?? BITCH HELLO?? AND THE BATMAN SYMBOL DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! and i like things making sense!!!. we will not talk about jason in this book. like.. 8/10. maybe 9 if im feeling it.

hag jason 2: the hagger and the furious

hes just.. a little old man.. he cannot change this.. i like this design. i like seeing jason grow old. wish it wasnt in this context. my father rlly. 8/10

—-

am i forgetting any jays.. i wont do all animated robins because they all look the same and the one that doesnt i do not like. SO HERES my thoughts..

[btswishes]

I will adopt you.

Monsta X (Shownu) hybrid au

Part1 / Part2 / Part3 / Part4 / Part5 / Part6 / Part7 / Part8 /…

A/N: I saw this dog that looked like a bear, kind of scary but also superrr cuddly looking and I thought of this macho mochi. Hope you like it there are more parts to come.Sorry for any mistakes made.

Word count:   2,627

Warnings: I mean ,just normal 21 century teen cussing.

                                   --------------------------------------------

  Winter is one of those seasons where you just don’t want to go anywhere. Just staying home with a nice warm cup of tea, coffee or coco and enjoy a good book or movie. But we all have those moments where we have to adult and today it was your turn. The day had almost finished when you opened the fridge and realized.

“Who ate all the damn food?” a slap echoed when your palm hit the skin on your forehead “That is rightttt, Mina was here yesterday.”your hands found your waistline and rested there “I need to stop inviting friends over all the time.”

 Taking a deep sigh, you walked over to your bedroom. You were groaning and stepping harshly as you were throwing clothes onto your bed. 

“Ughhhh, too cold!” 

 Swinging over the long and fluffy scarf, you made sure you were nice and warm before even confronting the cold weather. The moment the building’s main entrance opened up ,you were hit with a gust of cold wind. You could hear the howling sound it was making. Crackle after crackle you were getting farther from your home. 

 As the name says already, the convenient store wasn’t far, but in this weather it felt like a hike on mount Everest. The second the warm air hit your face you felt hope and so did your stomach. When people say don’t go shopping when you are hungry, they were right. Who knows what stuff you had in the bags on your way out, what was sure though was the fact that you grabbed anything and everything ,that looked good enough to eat with the packaging still on it.

 As you were about to exit the store, you pulled out a sandwich out of the bag and took a big bite from it.

“ Oh yeah.” you said muffled by the food “ That hits the spot nicely.” 

  The wind outside had gotten stronger, so powerful that it was picking up snow from the ground and basically throwing it in your face. Taking a few deep breaths, you placed the sandwich in the bag and stepped out.

“ Wow wow”  the wind was pushing you back a bit. Still being able to walk some what normally, you felt like you were taking two steps and then one back. Getting home was gonna happen sooner or later, but the night was beginning to fall and temperatures weren’t going to be so nice to you anymore.

 Like the champ you were, with all the power left in you, you were about to reach your house ,when the wind knocked some snow in your eyes.

“Fuck!” it was blowing very strongly and you had to kneel down to keep yourself from falling. The sound turned from a howl ,to the voice of a ghost that was hunting you.One minute had passed and then two, you weren’t moving at all and that was a no go. A plan was needed to get out of this situation as fast as possible.

“ Oh God, what is up with this day? A person can’t get themselves anything.” you were thinking about possibly crawling home, but your self-respect was not going to allow you that at all.That didn’t stop you from considering it though.

“ I bet people won’t even notice, plus my face is covered so no one will know.” the wind was turning slowly but surely into a blizzard  “ Hu?” you stopped mid way thinking. You could still hear what was happening around you, but the biting cold wasn’t hitting your face anymore.

 Slowly you rose your head up and noticed something gigantic in front of you. It had a deep brown color with a slight tint of amber. Hesitantly you reached out.

“ What?!” your hand almost disappeared into the object that was blocking the cold.Moving your head to the side you were met with two big, dark eyes and a puff of warm air. It took some time, but judging by the silhouette it was a dog, probably a bear looking at it’s size. The pup nudged you with its tail and you stood up. Yes, the wind was as strong, if not stronger than before, but you didn’t feel the same resistance. The body of the animal was blocking maybe 50% of the blizzard.

  It took you less than 5min to get back to your building. You patted the dog on the head and smiled.

“ Thank you sooo much little guy...oh- I mean you don’t look little at all. A!” reaching in your bag you pulled out the half eaten sandwich and gave it to it ”Sorry I can’t offer you more. “ 

  You were looking at it and noticed how wet its fur had gotten. The poor thing was probably hiding somewhere sheltered from the storm and all. You were about to unlock the door, when you turned around and saw the pup still looking at you. You closed your eyes for a sec and went back to it, putting your scarf around its neck “ Should keep you warm.” you patted its head and the dog seemed to like it “ Go find some good place to dry off.” with one last smile you went inside, in the elevator and got home safely. 

 Throwing all the bags on the kitchen table ,you dropped on the couch and took a deep breath. The fire place your parents insisted on you getting had finally proven to you its worth. The air was warm and enjoyable. Closing your eyes, you relaxed,but your mind drifted to your savior.

“ Poor thing...” you whispered to yourself

  The room was quiet and your head was thinking of all kinds of possible bad outcomes for the pup. You were worried it might freeze to death somewhere, or not be able to find a safe spot.

“ Ughhhhh.” you jumped up and grabbed the nearest coat you could find “ Fuck me, why am I doing this.” cussing with every move you made, you opened the door and ran out. Wearing almost nothing to protect you from the cold, you looked out the glass doors of the building. “ I can’t believe I am doing this right now.” you threw yourself in the blizzard willingly.

 The cold was stabbing at your cheeks, eyes watering and nose about to resign its duties as a functioning body part.Your hair was all over the place. Your arm was covering the top of your head as you were fighting your way through the winter. 

 You were wandering for what seemed an hour, but you couldn’t see the dog anywhere. You were sweaty even if it sounded impossible and very tired. Sadly giving up was the only option at this point. Dragging in the snow, your feed were trembling. It was unbelievable how you survived this long so lightly dressed. 

  The moment you were about to unlock the door, your vision went blank and you lost grip on the keys. The jingling sound let you follow them to the snow at the bottom of the stairs. But the state of your legs dropped you to the stone ground. You were puffing and wiping your face. Leaning your head onto the cold wall ,you tried to gather your strength and get up. As you were starting to see clearly again ,you felt something brush against you. 

 Lifting your arm you grabbed the material that fell on your chest and relisted it was your scarf.

“ Wait what?” the sound of metal hitting metal pulled your attention to the same mysterious hero that saved you the first time. “ This feels a bit like fate and it’s low key strange.”

 Leaning onto the dog you were able to get up and open the door. The sudden shifting sound made you notice that the pup was leaving. You quickly grabbed it by the tail. “ No you don’t. I almost died trying to find your furry ass. You are coming with me.”  the dog seemed confused or maybe you were still in a daze. 

 The thing you were sure about tho was that it was a male. He followed you into the elevator and kept close, letting you lean onto him when you were losing your footing. The moment you opened your apartment door, he hesitated to walk in.

“ Come on, don’t be shy.” with a few pulls from your side he finally stepped in. Maybe it was because of the change in the scenery, but the pup didn't even make a move. It was standing there like a new plush toy that you just bought and breathing heavily taking in the atmosphere around it.

"Are you getting comfortable in there?" You peeked your head out of the kitchen, but he was still standing in the middle of the room. You sighed and waddled over.

"I let you in so you are allowed to make yourself comfortable." placing a bowl of water next to the fireplace, you sat back down " It's one thing to be shy but you don't have to be at all. Come here."you patted a place next to you and he finally walked over ,curled up into a fluffy donut and calmed down.

"Oh lord!" your nose just scrunched up "Wet dog, not a good perfume idea." One option was to towel dry him, another to let him naturally dry next to the fire place, but since you didn't know how long he was out there, you were firm about what you were planning to do.

"Ok." You said a bit deep while getting up "It's settled then. You are taking a shower." Clapping your hands you pulled the pup to your bathroom "For once I am sooo glad this apartment is big. Who knows what it would have been if I couldn't fit you in here."

  You turned on the shower just to adjust the water so it wasn’t too cold or too warm. The bathroom was isolated from the rest of the house and you couldn’t hear the outside anymore. Wetting the pup’s fur, you were about to pull the shampoo from the rack next to the shower door, when your shirt got stuck on it.

“I need to change into something else. If I get this shirt wet it will shrink and I am not planning to go on a diet.” you ran out of the bathroom as fast as you came back in. Your body had on it a short shirt tied up at the chest and a pair of pink panties. “Ok, all ready.Come here pooch.” but the dog had it’s back towards you “What is wrong?” he let out a small whimper when you pulled him close to you suddenly by his back legs.

“Hold still now.” grabbing the bottle of lavender shampoo, you placed a small dollop of it on your palm “Hmmm, you are a big boy, probably the equivalent of 1 bear or 20 wigs.I will add a bit more.” squeezing the bottle a bit longer this time let almost half of it spill out “Oh well.” 

 Rubbing your hands together you started lathering the dog from head to toe, focusing on his paws and tummy.He was jumping away when you were cleaning his stomach area “I get it I get it.You are shy, I will stop.” 

 Grabbing the shower head ,you looked at him “Don’t worry we are almost done here.” turning it on firstly splashed your chest. Pulling onto the shirt you noticed it become translucent “Aw man, well I should have expected this.” you started rising off the shampoo as best as you could. “There, all done.It wasn’t too bad now was it?”

 You walked out the bathroom, changed into dry clothes fast and ran back to the dog. You threw a gigantic towel on his head and he panicked. Looking at the circles the dog was making made you burst in laughter and help him out. “Sorry sorry.”

 Making sure the pup was next to the fire place, you kept rubbing the towel all over him until he was as dry as the desert.

“Ah!”you plopped onto his body, making him jump a bit “You smell sooo good.” rolling over onto your back, you were looking at the ceiling and just enjoying the sounds of the crackling flame and the howling winds.It felt so peaceful and almost like a fantasy story.

“You know.” your voice spoke out calmly “This is feels like one of the stories I used to read about when I was little.”you crooked your head towards the pup, giving him a serious look “You are not a man that was cursed into a dog form are you?” you felt as if he stopped breathing for a second before giggling to yourself and laying back onto him “I am joking. So this is what it feels to talk to your pets. I mean you are not my pet, probably have an owner.”

  You let your hand travel to his neck, but no leash was there to identify him as someone’s dog.As he seemed to like it, you continued to run your fingertips through his dark and soft fur. 

“You can stay with me.I mean....if you want.”you sighed “Get’s kind of lonely being by myself all the time. I was ok with it at first but now, I am not so sure about it.”

 There was a moment of silence were only the ambiance in the room was ruling, until you felt the soft fur envelop you.He came closer and licked your cheek a few times. Pursing yourself up onto your elbows, you looked him with a spark in your eyes.

“I will take that as a yes.But...” you paused “I need to give you a name.” sitting up cross legged, you began looking at him from head to toe “I won’t give you a very manly name since you are scary enough as is. What about.....mmmm. Nunu!” the dog’s tail perked up “Yeah, you look like a Nunu to me.” you cupped his cheeks and started messing up his coat “Nunu, you are such a cute Nunu.” 

  The dog was getting annoyed but before it was about to growl, his eyes met yours. You had stopped moving and were giving him the brightest smile one could receive. It was warm and kind, your eyes were relaxed and filled with love, such pure energy. “My Nunu.” you scratched behind his ear ,as he closed his eyes and leaned into it without a hesitation.

  The petting session continued till 11 when you were already fast asleep. The fire burned out and it started getting colder and colder. Nunu woke up when he felt you nuzzling yourself into his fur. His head came close to yours and sniffed you, before giving you a quick lick. 

  Moon light was creeping in from the big windows, but suddenly got covered by a big shadow. It wasn’t looming over you, it had more of a safe and protective feeling to it. Your body almost instantly moved up as if on it’s own and met the comforting covers of the bed. A soft blanket moved up your body. The figure turned away from you and was about to leave, when something escaped your lips.

“Mmmm....Nu...Nunu.” you rolled around for a bit, trying to get comfortable 

“Worried more about a dog than yourself.” the shadow started loosing it’s tall shape and walked over to your bed. Your hand instinctively escaped the cover and laid calmly, once it reached the furry head of the pup, leaning onto your bed. The whole night he staid there, looking out for you. 

 Where did this dog come from and why did it not leave?

[nightglider124]

RobStar Week 2019: Day 1

Sooo... I said I was probably not going to take part in RobStar week this year on account of just being burned out and hating basically everything I wrote.

However... I’ve been busting my ass this weekend to get some oneshots written for the week and so far, I’ve managed to churn out like 3 days so I’m rolling with the momentum because fuck knows how long the creativity will hold out.

Not the happiest with this first one... shock... but I like day 2 at least so... yea.

p.s - sorry if I have been awol or not responsive these past few days. I’m not ignoring anyone or anything. I’ve just been solely focused on writing these and haven’t wanted distractions so have like... really tried to stay away from discord and tumblr lmao.

Anyway... enough blabbering... hope you like day 1 and happy robstar week, folks!

(Forgive the weird, makeshift line break below. If Tumblr wasn’t such a little bitch and hadn’t got rid of said feature, it would look normal. >.>)

_____________________________________________________________

Wayne Manor

Pearls of rain were speckled all across the glass with a few trying hard to best the others, racing one another to see who would be first to reach the bottom of the window pane, leaving a watery trail in their steads.

She brought her fingers to the surface, following the lines of the rain droplets, a patient smile on her face. The dampness outside was not one of her favorite types of weather patterns but she didn’t mind it so long as she didn’t have to go out in it.

It had been raining all day; non stop and relentless. Starfire sighed as she shifted in her seat, pressing the side of her head to the glass, her green eyes watching the new raindrops that appeared from the night sky.

She and Robin had arrived in Gotham early that morning and had spent a bit of time together around the city before they inevitably went to see Robin’s former mentor and legal guardian.

Bruce Wayne was, in Starfire’s opinion, a complex and intriguing man. There were a lot of similarities between him and her boyfriend; ones that were painfully familiar to her when she saw them in the billionaire by day, vigilante by night.

She had known Bruce for a while now; having been in a relationship with his son for 2 years, she had had her fair share of meetings with him.

And yet, she still wasn’t sure how she was supposed to take him. She wasn’t sure on what he thought of her as he could make himself just as unreadable as Robin could, if not more. It was so very frustrating to be around humans who were so secretive about their own thoughts and feelings.

Starfire constantly wore her heart on her sleeve; allowing all of her emotions to be showcased. It was a Tamaranian trait, to embrace everything one felt. The very idea of hiding your thoughts and feelings or not expressing them at the very least was unheard of on her world.

They had come to the city Robin had grown up in as another milestone approached.

Nightwing was on the horizon; plans and designs carefully in place, just waiting to be followed through. He had always told her how he wanted Nightwing to be separate from Batman but, asking for a small ounce of help in creating the identity wasn’t too hard a pill to swallow.

Alfred was someone that instantly made her smile; the older gentleman was warm and wise and she felt like she got on very well with him. He reminded her somewhat of Galfore, someone who would likely give her advice that was hard to hear but that was necessary.

If anything, she enjoyed visits to Robin’s former home, simply because of seeing Alfred. She liked to help him with household chores including food preparation or, if the rarity came when the sun was beaming down on Gotham, she would help him in the garden; all the while chatting about whatever they wanted to.

She didn’t have to wonder with Alfred; not like she wondered with Bruce.

As she sat on the integrated seat at the large window of the back of the den, she sighed and rolled her shoulders. There was a breath of loneliness that befell her at times such as this.

Robin had been summoned hours ago, spending the time with Alfred so that measurements could be taken for his new uniform. Bruce had gone as well of course; down the winding staircase into the cave.

She hadn’t explicitly been told she couldn’t tag along with the three of them but she also hadn’t received an invitation, having resorted to staying upstairs and out of their way, instead.

The faint smile she wore faded a little as her mind dwelled on the insecurities she had locked away inside of her.

Starfire had a gut feeling Bruce didn’t like her very much and was likely happy that she had not followed them down to the batcave. He was a conundrum of a person and she simply could not gauge what he was thinking, especially when it came to her.

In the beginning, when she had first come to Wayne Manor and met him for the first time, he had offered a polite smile and engaged in small talk with her as best he could but she still felt the scrutiny in his eyes whenever he looked at her.

Was it because she wasn’t from Earth? Was it because she was a super powered being and he felt that she was a dangerous threat? Or was it simply… he didn’t like who she was and didn’t approve of his son being involved with her?

Biting her lower lip, Starfire pushed the swell of concern mixed with unhappiness further down inside her. There was a lump in her throat and tears briefly pricked her eyes. She wanted him to like her, to think of her like an addition to their family but she had doubts that she would ever reach such a level of acceptance from the man beneath the cowl.

“Starfire?”

A squeak burst from her lips and she jolted forward, her heart thumping in her chest like a caged bird fighting to be free. She took a deep breath and turned to find the source of the voice.

Bruce stood at the archway of the den, staring at her with mild curiosity, his hands at his sides. He wore a pale blue dress shirt, with a stray button not done up at his neck along with pressed, black pants, looking pristine as always. The dim light in the room reflected in the shine of his dark leather shoes and she found herself blinking at him.

“Oh… B-Bruce… you startled me.”

A soft smile adorned his face, “Sorry. We seem to have that be a running theme in this house.”

She puffed out a laugh, “Yes, Dick often catches me by surprise when we are at the tower… he is most silent and works well to use stealth tactics, without even meaning to.”

He nodded and slipped his hands into his pockets, blue eyes narrowing ever so slightly in her direction,

“What are you doing down here?”

She gulped and suddenly felt nervous, a chill coming over her like she had been caught doing something she shouldn’t have.

Immediately, she got to her feet, shyly wringing her fingers together in front of her chest, 

“O-Oh… apologies for… intruding upon areas of your home… I was just-”

Bruce tilted his head, looking confused, “Starfire, please… sit.”

She appeared hesitant now; unsure and uncomfortable.

“Please?”

Wordlessly, she sat back down on the cushion of the window seat, looking awkward as she pressed her knees together and threaded her fingers atop her lap.

Bruce calmly walked closer to her and waved a hand, “I didn’t mean it like you aren’t allowed to be here. You are… I was just curious why you were here of all places in the manor?”

She turned her head back towards the window, watching the rainfall, “This is… the most peaceful spot I have managed to find within your home. I can watch the rain here and be soothed by it.” She paused, “And… I did not wish to interrupt… your planning in the cave.”

His eyes widened a fraction, “Interrupt us? We were actually waiting for you for a time… Dick said you would come down but…”

“Oh.”

She felt her face become hot, embarrassed, with the blush hidden by the orange tone of her skin. 

Peering down at the hem of her skirt, Starfire chewed on her lip, feeling foolish and out of place. Insecurity gnawed at her soul, whispering fears and uncertainties into her mind about what he must think of her.

Bruce watched her for a long moment, processing and reading her behavior before he crossed the space between them and took a seat beside her, on the cushioned surface.

“You must be used to the grim weather here by now.” Bruce murmured, his eyes focused on the lead of the water droplet race that was still in full swing.

Starfire blinked, surprised that he seemingly was trying to make conversation. As she had already pointed out to herself, Bruce was a quiet person, analyzing and calculating and using the true streak of a detective in him to figure others out, rather than conversing to do that like most people would.

“Uh… I… truly do not mind it. Rain is not something that we have on Tamaran. I find it fascinating.”

His brows rose, “You don’t?”

She shook her head, “We have water, of course. But, our water does not fall from the sky.” She paused as a memory floated through her mind and she giggled behind the palm of her hand,

Bruce tilted his head in a questioning manner.

“Forgive me… I… just remembered the first time I discovered rain on this planet. We were all at the park and it started to rain and I was most certain is was an enemy hiding in the clouds… until Dick explained what it was. I do not believe he expected me to spend the rest of our day jumping from puddle to puddle, refusing to go home.”

Bruce stared at her for a long moment before he quirked a smile, “I suppose it would definitely be something worth exploring if you’d never seen it before.”

She smiled fondly as she cast her mind back on that day, “The first time I saw the snow… it was much the same… Dick explained it to me and told me how snow only really comes in Winter.”

“He’s been quite a teacher to you through the years.”

Her smile widened a little more, “He has helped me adjust to life on Earth the most out of all our friends.”

Bruce’s blue eyes softened, seeing very clearly how much his son meant to this girl. 

He hadn’t been sure what to make of Starfire when Dick had first mentioned her and when it became apparent that the boy wonder thought of her as more than just a friend, Bruce took a little more interest when Dick would let slip little details about her.

Meeting her was a full on experience, she’d been excitable and exuberant, floating around the manor with the other Titans, awestruck by the building. He remembered wondering if she ever stopped smiling and if her face hurt at the end of the day because of the constant cheer across her features.

That first time had been years ago now and yet, sometimes, he still got the feeling he and Starfire were at odds in some way. 

He was far from oblivious. He could guess that she didn’t feel like she belonged or fit in whenever the two visited and stayed in Gotham for a few nights; the city and her were like polar opposites. One was gritty and dark, the other was passionate and full of happiness and life. 

Bruce mused that that was what attracted Dick to the alien Princess; she was so different to what he’d known throughout his adolescence; a ray of sunshine through all the gloom, if you will.

“He’s always been the helpful type.” Bruce grunted,

“He is a good man.” She paused to look at him, her green eyes locking on his blue orbs, “For any flaws Dick may have… he has a big heart and a gentle nature…”

He held her stare for a long time; not exactly one to break eye contact easily, before he gave her a short nod, “He is.”

Starfire smiled and played with a lock of red hair, spilling over her shoulder and she turned her attention back to the rain streaked window.

Bruce refrained from clearing his throat awkwardly, trying to ignore the subconscious tapping of his fingertips against his knee. He wasn’t an open book and he wasn’t exactly the social type or at least… he didn’t enjoy being social.

But, in this case, he wanted to try. He knew he wasn’t easy to get along with and every single time they had come face to face, it was Starfire attempting to crack open the shell around him that she’d clearly shattered with Dick. 

He’d noticed the change though; how in recent months, whenever they visited Gotham, Starfire had lost some of that glowing joy that usually radiated within an entire room, lighting everything up.

She’d given in a little with being the first to try and he could imagine what she thought, he thought of her.

Of course, she would likely be wrong. 

Bruce considered her to be a very charming young lady; she was a very good fighter with a fiery temper to match. She was besotted with his son and he with her which was something no one could miss when seeing the couple together. She was an extremely upbeat soul with a sense of childlike wonder which was nothing short of endearing. 

He was happy that Dick was happy and it didn’t hurt that Starfire was a lovely girl as well. He enjoyed her company and found her sweet; a rarity to find in most humans, especially in Gotham City.

“Have I ever told you about when Dick was just a kid and Alfred was in London for a few days?”

Starfire’s brows rose and a small, hopeful smile lingered on her lips as she shook her head.

Bruce chuckled, “He was only about 11 years old then and I’d finished a rough patrol… I had injuries that no child could really know how to dress.”

The Princess shifted, eyes sparkling with interest as she tucked her legs underneath her and laced her fingers together.

“And in usual Dick fashion with trying to help everyone around him… He ended up wrapped toilet paper around my wounds. He wasn’t stupid of course; he’d washed them with water and applied medicinals but this kid couldn’t figure out where Alfred would store the gauze so… doing what he does best, he improvised and headed for the roll in the bathroom.”

Starfire stared at the dark haired man for a long moment before she cracked up laughing, holding her stomach with one hand whilst the other covered her mouth as she descended into giggles.

“He did not!” She squealed, eyes bright with mirth,

Bruce smirked, “Oh he did… before he stuck the paper down with some plasters, hoping that would hold it all together.”

Wiping a tear from her eye, Starfire shook her head in disbelief, “That is most hard to believe. Beside Raven, Dick is possibly the best in the team at wrapping wounds after battles.”

Bruce eyed her, amused, “Well of course he is… after that little display, I had to teach him how to do it the right way.”

Starfire tucked her hair behind her ear as the last of the chortles flowed from her mouth, slowly feeling an ease in her chest, like a weight was lifting the longer Bruce kept the conversation going with her. 

Maybe she hadn’t been entirely correct; maybe there was a chance that Bruce did approve of her and perhaps… he may like her.

“You sharing my embarrassing childhood moments with her, Bruce?”

Starfire beamed as she cast a glance over at the archway where Dick was standing, his arms folded over his chest whilst he leaned against the frame. He wore a smirk across his lips, like he already knew what they had been discussing.

“Me? Never.” Bruce told him in a somewhat stoic manner,

“Uh huh… sure you’re not.” Dick replied, pushing off of the wall to cross the distance before he took a seat just behind Starfire, one arm sliding around her waist and softly kissing her cheek in greeting.

“I’ve just been telling her about… skills you have now improved upon.”

Dick narrowed his eyes at his former mentor, “Is that right? Well, Star, would you like to hear some stories about Bruce?”

Bruce’s eyes widened slightly and he frowned at his son, “Don’t you dare.”

Starfire grinned and turned to her boyfriend, “I believe I would love to hear some.”

“Wait, wait… if you’re set on tarnishing my reputation…” Bruce paused and smirked, seeing Dick playfully roll his eyes in Starfire’s direction, “We’d best go and see Alfred for snacks.”

“You think he’ll be up for making his cookies?” Dick queried, getting up and offering Starfire a helping hand as well. 

Bruce eyed the clock on the wall, “Hmm… I don’t know… it’s a little late.”

Dick grinned and laced his fingers with Starfire’s, “Maybe but I have a secret weapon with one hell of a puppy dog face.” 

Starfire laughed, a tinkling sound amidst the brief silence in the room as walked towards the kitchen with Dick on one side and a smiling Bruce on the other. 

And for once in all the times she had visited Wayne Manor, she actually felt like she could relax and that her presence was welcome, rather than tolerated. She felt like she belonged, even if it was just a little bit.

But, she decided it was something and that feeling could only grow in the future.

[sharp-cheekbones-locked]

Christmas Dinner (Pt. 5)

Summary: The Doctor and Stella have to pretend a loving couple at the Christmas dinner table. It does not go like planned. 

Time Vortex, Somewhere in Nowhere, 73628° 09′ N , 3947° 74′ W unknown space, December 5th 2019; 6.17pm Earth time

"Doctor! We're gonna be late. Hurry up" I shouted from the console and nervously adjusted my dress while taking a look at my watch. "Jesus Christ, Stella. I am Time Lord and owner of a time machine! There is no such thing as too late with me" he called back and finally came into the control room. "Well finally" I sighed. He grabbed my hand and threw me a cheering smile. My gaze glided over him, then I stopped. "Doctor! You can't show up in the same things again. You can't go there in Chucks! Not again! Please put on your suit,' I asked him and tried not to be quite so pleading. "But good things never happen when I wear this suit" he grumbled. "Please Doctor." "Just because it's a Christmas party doesn't mean I have to dress up!" "It's a Christmas party, of course you have to dress up! Do it for me. Besides, you look really good in it," I tried to move him to the black piece of cloth with a new tactic. "Hey, you think I look good?" he repeated my words with a cheeky grin. I rolled my eyes. "Go now," I said emphatically. "You called me handsome" he replied and went to change. "And I'm about to regret it," I mumbled to myself.

Only a few minutes later he stood in front of me, dressed up again. He looked very chic and the suit fitted him like a glove. I couldn't help but admire him for a moment. "You look stunning," he told me and smiled at me. "You don't look bad either" I answered with a grin. "Well Miss Walker, we have a Christmas dinner to attend, would you like to be my escort for tonight?" he asked and offered me his arm. "Nothing better than that, Mr. Smith." My hand found the rough fabric of his jacket and I fixed his bow tie.

*oOo*

Bloomsbury Square, Bloomsbury 51° 31' 4.79" N 0° 07' 13.20" O London, evening of December 5th; 6.29pm

It was a well-kept house with white facade in a row of other well-kept houses with white facades. The front garden was tidy and the snow on the sidewalk and in the driveway was properly cleared. In the window a colorful chain of lights sparkled and in front of the front door stood a small decorated tree with a decorative sleigh pulled by reindeer. A typical boring house of a typical boring family in a typical boring street in a typical boring area. Beside me also the Doctor looked around disapprovingly.

"Stella! John! There you are. We thought something had come between you" we were greeted by Annie who pressed a big smack on each of us cheek. Luckily, the Doctor's disgusted face didn't see until the heel of my shoe bored its way into his foot. "Pull yourself together." I whispered to him. Annie pulled us into the house where Chris and some of her friends were waiting for us. Chris greeted the Doctor with a friendly handshake that almost knocked him out.

After a while of exchanging trivia, we all sat down at the richly laid table. I landed between the Doctor and Tiffany, a friend of Annie. But unfortunately fate did not mean it well with us, because we sat directly opposite Annie and Chris. Nervously I crumpled my red, artfully folded napkin together. However, the fingers of the Doctors lay down suddenly softly over my hands and he looked at me cheering up. He pressed my hand and let his linger on my until the food came.

Annie brought a large silver plate into the dining room, on which Beef Wellington was sliced into fine clean slices. "Mm, that smells delicious, Annie. My mouth is watering," Tiffany said. "That's right, you've outdone yourself again." Now the Doctor also brought himself in and winked at me. I knew he worshipped Beef Wellington and Annie's roast potatos, and I also suspected that this was always his reason for finally accompanying me every year. We started to eat and I had to agree with the Doctor, who was already on his second piece. It tasted wonderful. For a while there was nothing to hear but the metallic rattling of dishes on porcelain plates. Finally Chris cleared his throat and leaned forward a bit. "Well, John, you haven't even invited us into your house yet, we're sooo curious what it looks like there. I had to suppress an eye roll, but before I could answer, the Doctor jumped in. "Oh, Chris," he began and smiled warmly at his counterpart. "You won't be as soon as I can, either!" I swallowed my bite and coughed terribly before grabbing my glass of water and kicking the Doctor under the table. "Ouch. I just mean that we travel a lot with my job and don't have a fixed home, because that would only get in our way, wouldn't it, darling?" he asked and I swallowed the nickname again before I ran red. He just put one arm around my chair back and went on. "What are you working again?" Chris asked and took a sip from his sherry. Annie disappeared into the kitchen to get seconds of potatoes. "Oh, I'm the Doctor," he replied. "You mean you're a doctor?" "Oh, oh yes, that's exactly what I meant." The Doctor cleared his throat in embarrassment and loosened the collar around his fly, which suddenly seemed terribly tight to him. "I help in developing countries. There are human lives to save every day. The work is hard, although it always gives me a great feeling when I see that people may have survived thanks to my help." He looked modestly to the ground and I pressed his hand. Damn it! He was good!

"Aww." it sounded from the other side of the room, where Annie stood leaning against the door frame with baking gloves and potatoes, listening to the Doctor's story with glowing eyes. "There had to be more people like you, John," Tiffany sighed. "And Stella? What are you doing?" Chris now turned to me. Again the Doctor came before me. "Oh, Stell is with me on the way and always accompanies me on my travels. While I then help the people, she diligently writes her books. I always tell her that she should publish them, but she always says that she is not finished yet. She writes really well and I'm really proud of her." My heart swelled in my chest. He played damn well. I decided to put another one on top. "Darling, sometimes I really don't know what I've earned you with," I said shyly. Then I nestelte around at the reindeer tablecloth and tried casually to get out a small splash of wine. "You are all I need. That's the greatest gift." My teeth hurt from all the sweet lies, but when I looked him in the eye, I thought for a short moment I saw nothing but reflect sincerity in his gaze. Quickly I turned my eyes away again to the artistic fir arrangement on the table. "What are you writing about, Stell?" asked Marc, Jessie's friend. "Oh, that's different. But right now I'm writing a sci-fi story about a man, the Doctor, who travels through space and time in a time traveling police box with his companion. Of course, I always incorporate experiences and influences from our adventures on our own journeys." The Doctor stroked my hand.

When the Minced Pies were brought, the Doctor leaned forward and pressed a kiss on my cheek. The rest of the evening was quiet and Tiffany was asked about her new boyfriend, which eventually became a full evening topic.

The dinner went by and outside it had been dark for hours when we finally left. "Oh, wait a minute." Annie shouted and we stopped in the hallway. She pressed past us and hung something small green over the door. I remained in my movement. A mistletoe! Damn! "Come on. Kiss yourselves! Don't be shy," she said and laughed. "Well, uh... that wouldn't be so good because, uh - I have a terrible scratching in my throat and don't want to infect the doc- uh John." I stuttered and faked a cough. Annie and Chris looked at me confused and the Doctor also looked unpleasantly touched. "Come on, it's not that bad," he suddenly switched on. He pulled me to himself and I made a surprised sound when he pressed a short kiss on the corner of my mouth. Annie looked enraptured, but I was in total chaos. I stood there as if frozen and drove over the corner of my mouth, where the Doctor's lips had just lingered gently. "Well, we really have to go now. Annie, Chris, thank you for the invitation. It was really very nice, see you soon" I said hastily.

I turned around, went out the front door to bring as much distance as possible between the Doctor and me. I walked up to the TARDIS, not waiting for the Doctor at all. "Hey Stell! Stella! Little star! Now wait a minute." I heard his hasty steps creaking in the snow behind me. He grabbed me gently by the wrist and turned me around to himself. Then his eyes looked for mine and he lifted my chin. "Hey, little star! Look at me! You know that didn't mean anything, right? You don't have to worry," he said. Snowflakes got caught in his brown hair and it looked as if he had been sprinkled with icing sugar. I just nodded silently as I decided to pretend that nothing had ever happened. The cold bit my cheeks and eyes as he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

[aspiring-dm]

Three-Headed Puppy Is Back On His Bullshit

So, some of you may have read my previous post about Paolo Manchado, the Cerberus from a game of Monsterhearts I’m playing in.  The game has mostly just been me playing and the GM torturing me with the awful choices I impose on myself.  Paolo has ended up being one of my favorite characters to play due to the deep, painful, emotional trauma I experience while portraying this innocent monster.  This post is going to be a more in-depth look at the first three sessions I’ve played with him.

So in session one, we’re off to a somewhat slow start that many powered by the apocalypse games experience where the GM is frustrated trying to figure out what the player(s) want to do and the player(s) are frustrated trying to figure out what they’re supposed to do.  I’ve never been a fan of any games that take place inside a school because the act of roleplaying the menial act of going to classes bores me sooo much (I was in many free text role plays on supercheats and figment that had this problem).  

Paolo is a Cerberus.  In particular, THE Cerberus “gave birth” to him, a phrase which here means he woke up in Unity, New Hampshire, knowing he was Paolo Manchado, son of Cerberus, put here on earth to ensure that the beings of light and dark remain in their place.  That goal makes up every fiber of his being the same way blood and bones make up you and me.  He gets very frustrated because humans keep trying to get him to feel human and he keeps telling them “I am incapable of feeling the same way you do about life, relationships, and purpose.  Not I DON’T feel the same way, not I WON’T.  I CAN’T.”

So we started off in a classroom, and then there was a car crash outside.  The car had crashed into nothing, so Paolo was searching around for invisible creatures, visiting her in the hospital, gazing into the abyss, trying to find answers but nothing was really going anywhere.  

Then he encounters Ronan, who directs him at Elijah, who he’s apparently trying to avoid.  Paolo could smell death on Elijah and chased him under a bridge, demanding to know what he was.  Turns out, he’s basically a zombie.  

Elijah’s backstory is that he was seduced by Ronan, who took him back to his cabin, starting making out, started getting handsy, started getting knifey, and then sacrificed Elijah in a dark ritual.  Elijah came back, though, now in undead form, with some dark violent tendencies he can’t control.

Paolo lets Elijah go and goes to track down Ronan, the true problem here.  Specifically, Paolo’s not concerned with the mere existence of zombies or warlocks in his town, just when they start interfering with mortal lives, which Ronan had willfully done.  After talking a bit to Elijah’s ex, Hero, Paolo manages to track down Ronan’s house.  They traded lots of high philosophy arguments that I forget most of, which mostly amounted to Paolo demanding that Ronan not hurt anybody else and Ronan shrugging and going “What can you do?  Gotta break a few eggs.”  Ronan is frustrating and clearly Neutral Evil.  His alignment doesn’t concern Paolo, though, only his risk factor of exposing the dark side of the world.

So Paolo leaves.  By the way, having been born without parents, or money, or a social security number, Paolo’s only possessions are the clothes on his back.  As such, he lives in an abandoned boxcar, like the Boxcar Children.  This is important to note because when he gets back there, Elijah is waiting, depressed.  They talk a lot about Elijah’s issues with being dead, his personality defects both before and after dying, his relationship issues, etc.  Then they both went to sleep together.  Before you ask, yes, there were gay vibes, but that’ll just make it worse later.

That night, Paolo discovered he had the ability to enter a sort of mindscape, which was essentially Elijah’s Metaverse Palace where there was a courtroom where he played judge, jury, defendant, prosecutor, and defense.  The people on the stand were all the people Elijah had fallen in love with telling the judge Elijah how quickly he’d fallen in love with them and what he did that drove them away.

Then Paolo discovered the ability to interact with these mind-Elijahs, and took the stand before taking the role of one of the attorneys.  Thus began a long and emotional and philosophical monologue by Paolo trying to help Elijah learn how to control his emotions, how to not love to eagerly, and especially not to love people like Ronan.  See, Elijah was still in love with Ronan, even though Ronan had only used him for the sacrifice (Ronan’s mind had also gotten pulled into this Palace).  A little bit of progress was made here.  

This was about the end of session 1 I think.

Later, Paolo went to Ronan.  He’d at some point looked into Ronan’s emotions (because these are powers a Cerberus has for some reason) and learned that Ronan was obsessed with being remembered for his “scientific” achievements.  So, Paolo went to Ronan and said “I am the only creature of my kind in the entire world.  Maybe you can put your... creative energies into studying me, rather than murdering people.”  Paolo is not confident in Ronan’s agreement having a lasting effect, but as long as it’s working he’s not complaining.

That night, Hero came to Paolo’s boxcar saying that Elijah needed help.  Paolo was apprehensive at first, because it’s not really his job to help in general, but when it came to his attention that Elijah was attacking someone he agreed to follow her.

Elijah’s dark side had given him a need to be feared, and was hitting a guy’s car with a baseball bat, with the guy inside the car.  Paolo transformed in front of Hero (his eyes turn black, his hands grow bone claws and fur, and his teeth sharpen) and tried to threaten Elijah down at first, but that didn’t work, so he then convinced Elijah to come back to the boxcar and talk.

Elijah, defeated, came to the boxcar and began smashing the door with his fist repeatedly, droning and punching.  Paolo had asked this before, but he asked it again, what did Elijah want.  Elijah’s answer was always the same: he either wanted to go back to the way things were before he died, or be able to move on and die.

Paolo thinks very hard, and very conflicted.  He and Elijah had become close friends over the course of these two sessions, but Elijah’s worsening condition made him a threat to the balance between worlds Paolo was sworn to protect.  Paolo asked this wanting an instruction on what he could do.  While he knew his purpose, he was very directionless on how to achieve it.  

Paolo asked Ronan if he could reverse Elijah’s curse, but Ronan’s experiments to look into such a task would be both risky and time-consuming.  Time Paolo might not have.

So, while Elijah slept in Paolo’s boxcar, Paolo stared at his confused and broken friend and made a horrible decision.  He set about the gruesome work of chewing Elijah’s head off.  He didn’t bother trying to clean the boxcar- he knew the police would find it.  He simply buried the head in the snow, left the body in the car (in case they could reconnect somehow), and wandered off into the woods.  He stopped in the cemetery where he made his new home.  The next day, on Hero’s birthday, he told her what he had done.  It broke her more than it broke him, to say the least.

While Elijah had been alive, he’d asked Paolo what kinds of girls he was into.  Quote, “What about Jessie Lynn?... She’s cute...”  After Elijah died, somehow the words stuck with Paolo.  He’d gotten very close to Elijah very fast and it ended very badly.  Paolo just wanted somebody he could be friends with and take very slowly, without needing to deal with the whole monster thing.  So he started talking to Jessie Lynn, who played a sort of Magic the Gathering Parallel that Paolo likes because Cerberus is one of the cards in it.  And they started being friends, and that’s where session 2 ended.

AND THEN THE BULLSHIT BEGAN.  Oh, you think murdering your zombie son who you wanted to teach how to love but whose psychological illness made him a danger to himself and to society so you ATE THROUGH HIS NECK was pretty raw and emotional?  Well session 3′s the game that made me feel actual anger and cry actual tears.  This is the game where Jonah starts yelling at NPCs at 1 AM and waking up his parents.

By the way, here and there have been some interactions with Jupiter, a ghost in Paolo’s class, but she doesn’t bother him too much cause she’s not very active and can never remember anything anyway.

Fast forward three weeks, Paolo and Jessi Lynn have been getting along pretty well, nothing super serious has happened except for all the student life trauma of finding out your classmate was mysteriously murdered, police had questions, etc.

Paolo gets back to his graveyard he’s been sleeping in, because that’s his life now, and he finds Hero lying under his tree.  Who knows how she keeps finding where he sleeps.  Anyway, she looks up at him and she’s a vampire now and says she needs his help and Paolo and Jonah both go “Welp.  This’ll end badly.”  She starts telling him about how she’s been on a drinking binge since Elijah’s death and she met this vampire and she asked him to turn him because he said she could see Elijah again, and she takes Paolo to the body of someone she killed.  Paolo at this point is honestly not very conflicted.  The vampire who turned her would only be a problem if she hadn’t literally asked to be turned, but Paolo still wanted to identify the guy so he could be aware of vampires in his town.

As for Hero, he sent her to Jessie Lynn’s house (the girls were both good friends) and tried to find out anything he could about the vampire, but to no avail.  He went back to Jessie Lynn’s house to check up on her when he heard a scream, ran into the room to find Hero feeding on Jessie Lynn.  Already Paolo is panicking because if Hero’s gonna have Elijah-like impulses, it won’t be good.  Paolo tries talking, he tries pulling her off, he tries hugging her, he tries playing wounded puppy dog, but I ROLLED SIX FAILURES IN A ROW during this whole segment, giving me two level-ups within ten minutes.  AND THEN I DIED cuz Hero ripped my throat out.  Luckily I had just taken a move last session that meant I never stayed dead, so a few hours later Paolo wakes up propped against the dresser, Jessie Lynn lying on the floor with a damp towel against her neck.

Paolo is thinking, one, okay this is weird, but of course since I’m the child of the guardian of the underworld, they’d just send me back.  Two, gotta make sure Jessie Lynn is okay, yep she’ll be fine despite the big hole in her neck.  Three, gotta find Hero.  Eventually Paolo finds her in a crawl space on the staircase and get her to talk to him, reassuring her that rumors of his death were greatly exaggerated.  

Then Jessie Lynn wakes up and Paolo keeps Hero hidden in the crawl space until there’s and opportunity for her to get away, and he tells Hero that if she can’t get into her own house (due to needing an invitation) he’s recently been sleeping near Ronan’s cabin in the woods, which no one lives in.  Jessie doesn’t remember much about the attack, and Paolo struggles to find a good lie, but luckily “I don’t know” seemed to work well enough.  While Paolo’s wounds have vanished, his clothes are still coated in his blood (which right now we’re going to pretend Jessie thought was her blood), and she offered to let him borrow some of her dad’s clothes while she washed those.  So the fanfiction begins, and then while Jessie is making tea and dinner Hero runs out the door.

Fanfiction continues, a moment where Jessie reaches for Paolo’s mug and he thinks she’s going for his hand so he reflexively takes her hand awkwardly.  Then of course they end up sharing the same bed, and then the smutty stuff began.

I’ve been portraying Paolo as semi-aromantic?  Not exactly fitting that label, the main idea being that as he is a Cerberus, he doesn’t experience the same range of emotions that humans do, but he does still possess a human-ish body with sexual urges.  I think it’s possible he’s capable of romantic love, but so far such a thing couldn’t happen with any creature from this world.

So anyways, after a somewhat awkward first time for both of them, Paolo basically confesses as much as he can about himself without outright telling Jessie monsters exist.  He tries to explain that if she had known the parts he can’t tell her about they might not have happened like this, but she doesn’t seem concerned about it at all.

So onward from there, Paolo heads out the next morning to the cabin to find Hero’s broken into it and slept on the bed.  Paolo scrounges up some clothes for her and gives her his hoodie hoping it’ll be enough to protect her from the sun, but it’s not enough.  Also we later retconned, because the fanfic nature of this game demanded it, and decided that Paolo made no attempt not to watch her change and Hero made no attempt not to be watched changing, which may or may not be relevant in future sessions, idk.  They decide they’ll have to wait til nightfall, and Paolo leaves for school.

Now, Paolo has never not worn his hoodie anywhere.  Given as its one of the only things he owns, he doesn’t really take it off much.  But in this case, he’s forgotten to get it back from Hero, exposing the snake tattoos on his back (there are many snakes, all of their heads coming to the back of his neck while the tails slide down his back and curl around his upper arms).  Several students were curious about them.  Things during the day with Jessie were about the same, except she kept giving Paolo playful looks of “I know what your dick looks like.”

Paolo spends that day trying to get Jupiter to not walk through walls and then spends some time with Jessie before returning to the cabin.  Having discovered that his blood sates Hero’s hunger and also he can’t die even if she overfeeds, he decides to become her personal blood bank to keep her from attacking people.

Then the two of them go shopping to get her some clothes that don’t look like they were made for a lumberjack twice her size.  She immediately gets into the vampire look, with the black, and the fishnets, and yadda yadda.  She also gets Paolo a black leather jacket, to which his response was “I already have a jacket though... I wear it everyday.”  She also insists he pick something out, so he gets a pair of fingerless gloves, which apparently Elijah also wore and Hero gets quiet for a moment.

Paolo then takes Hero home and invites her into her own house before her dad comes downstairs and grounds her.  Paolo returns to the cabin.  Previously he’d been sleeping outside under a tree because he didn’t expect Ronan would appreciate him breaking in, but now that Hero’s already broken a window and now that Paolo’s experienced what a real bed feels like, he decides to go in and sleep on the bed.

So, Saturday, Paolo and Jessie meet up and they decide to go help Hero (who at this point, I believe Jessie thinks she was sexually assaulted based on the vague approximations of what Paolo’s told her) and spend time with her while she’s grounded.  Paolo knows that grounding is a punishment given by parents to their children, but he’s unclear on what exactly that means, so he spends a little while just trying to find a roundabout way of getting Hero to say what grounding is without him directly asking.

Hero’s got garbage bags up on all the windows, saying she sunburns super easily now.  Jessie goes into another room to try to find something more permanent, leaving Hero and Paolo to FUCKING discuss the fact that Paolo hasn’t told Jessie Hero’s a vampire, or what he is.  This is the part where I started feeling Paolo’s anger and frustration, because they get into an argument and then Jessie enters the room and Hero goes “Hey, I’m a vampire, and it’s his job to kill me!”  Paolo tries to play it off like a joke, and then Hero shows Jessie her fangs.  Paolo, in his anger, just shuts down for a moment, goes to close the door, and slumps down in front of it, now trying to process in his head if this information is going to leave this room, or if he has to repeat what he did with Elijah with the girl he slept with and also Elijah 2.0.  Jessie runs out another door in the room, Paolo makes no attempt to stop her and angrily starts yelling at Hero about his job and how her actions were totally reckless, if Jessie tells anyone there will be panic on both sides of the divide and basically a war would just break out.  Hero’s trying to act like it’s not that bad and Paolo’s not having any of it, and he’s trying not to bring up the fact that it’s very possible he has to KILL both of them now.

So he leaves and tracks down Jessie hiding in the hollow of a tree.  Some notes about Paolo’s role play, his voice is always very ineffectual and emotionless, he often hums three times while trying to think about things he doesn’t find super serious.  In this moment, though, he angrily stands outside this tree and demands Jessie talk to him.  She tries to leave multiple times during this conversation, but he keeps stopping her.  Says “Guess now I have to tell you.”  He explains everything about Elijah being dead and Hero being a vampire and his job to make sure normal humans never find out about it.  Looking back, he never actually said anything about what he is, just his job.  And then he gets to truth of what happened to Elijah and he says “It seems manipulative to tell you this!  It feels like a threat, and there’s no way to get around it being a threat!” And he tells her that he killed Elijah.  Then she leaves, and he just stands there.  In his mind, he’s making a gamble.  He’s gonna hope Jessie doesn’t tell anyone, and if she does... well, he can start killing people later.  For now he just wants to feel like he’s accomplishing something, so he goes back to help Hero with her window situation.

Hero and Paolo have a long argument containing many typical elements of Paolo arguments, such as “it won’t be that bad if people find out,” and “you can choose your own destiny” vs. “I literally cannot I am not a human.”  Somewhere in here I started crying actual tears as Paolo’s defeated by the world.  He wants so badly to not have to kill anybody and he’s remembering how awful it was with Elijah when he failed him.  

Hero leaves the house for a bit, and when she comes back Paolo is still standing in the middle of the room.  He’s so lost on what he should do he can’t even figure out if he should go anywhere or move at all.  The first time she tries to comfort him, he turns away from her, in his mind the current situation is her fault to begin with.  The next few times he shows no sign of accepting or resisting.  She hugs him, makes him sit on the bed, makes him lie on the bed, and plays with his hair after calming him down a little.  She tries to get him to stop thinking for a bit, which only happens when she starts humming a song, but beyond that his mind is racing.  She falls asleep and Paolo assumes she expected him to, but his version of sleep is actually consciously gazing into the abyss, so his options are either think while conscious in this world, or think while conscious in the abyss.  The abyss is the more informative and intimidating of the options, so he just stays awake until she wakes up again.

That’s where we are now.  Fucking three sessions and Paolo’s already broken.  Oh: right after sleeping with Jessie he took the move Loyal, so Jessie’s basically his master.  ALSO, though, Jessie hates him now and wants nothing to do with him, so unfortunate timing on that.  *shrug*

[80srockher]

Yuri on Ice Rewatch and Live-Commentary, Episode 1: Easy as Pirozhki!! The Grand Prix Final of Tears

*There are spoilers throughout.  I also make assumptions that anyone reading has already seen the episode or has a grasp of the content.*

Source: http://yurionicescreencaps.tumblr.com

The opening scene is so pretty.  Really sets a tone.  I went in knowing nothing about the anime first go-around, so I found Yuri and Victor’s grow/glow-ups montages interesting.  

This theme song is… not my favorite.  Maybe it’s the French horns?  That and too much synth.  I usually skip over it but want to give it a chance this go-around.

Heh, Victor and his gold blades to match his gold medal.  And his European af haircut.  Can’t remember the last time I saw an American past the age of 12 with bangs. No mistaking him for anything other than Eastern European.

Also, the poster on the left is for Victor, I believe.  Can he pull his leg that high in the air?  Was that featured and I forgot?  I’ll be on the lookout for it.

Also, looks like Jean JACK made it to Sochi and placed third here too, lolz.

Yes, please listen to your coach, Yuri.  Don’t poke the wound.  Stay off the internets.  ESPECIALLY the figure skating internets.  What little I remember from when I used to follow the sport is that it’s dramatic, to put it nicely.

I keep getting distracted by the utter Euro-ness of the Europeans in this show. The cut of Coach Celestino’s suit is so Italian I weep. He’s too smooth.

Yuri’s name tag has his name in Cyrillic as well?  Cute.

My first impression of Yuri was that he looks about 18 and that impression hasn’t changed.  Perhaps it’s the glasses, but he def looks youthful. I’m also someone who’s been accused of looking a decade+ younger than I actually am, so I can sympathize.

Speaking of sympathy – Yuri caved to pressure, binged ate before the competition while mourning his dog, then bombed his first trip to the Grand Prix final.  All in front of his idol.  Damnity damn damn.  Sorry, kid.

Is Cao Bin ever introduced on the show?  Something else I forgot, maybe?

Now, when I first saw this poor child crying in the bathroom, that’s when I knew the series was going to be much different from the light-hearted anime about figure skating I expected.  It got real deep real quick.

Yuri Plisetsky “The Russian Punk”.  Is this something the in-universe media refers to him as?  Because I only recall (JPN) Yuri saying it and only this once.

This screencap is during the scene where the journalist Marooka (sp?) is hassling Yuri about his future plans and instead of answering, Yuri can only stare at someone else’s puppy that reminds him of his dead Vicchan.

This baby is crying. Cry.ing.  This has been a tough day for poor Yuri, overall.

And he talks down to himself so much.  It’s all his fault he caved to pressure. He was an idiot to think he could meet his idol on the same playing field.   He’s come so far and still thinks so little of his accomplishments.

So, I understand this “one year later” is not really accurate, lol.  It’s just the new  year following the previous season.  I was confused initially about a number of soon-to-happen events before Yuri’s mental alter ego cleared it up.

So, per Minako’s voice actress, Yuri really is pronounced YOO-RI.  Cute.

Four Continents is… not a Grand Prix competition?  My figure skating knowledge is all rust now.

LOL, Minako does. Not. Play. And she wears a pinky ring.  My God, that death grip on poor Yuri.

It’s snowing outside the train station when Yuri and Minako leave.  So, it’s not unusual to snow in this region in March, but it’s highly unusual a month or so later. Man, hard to believe Yuri sat around for almost an entire month before the infamous video became viral.  More on that, later.

So, based on everyone’s interactions with Yuri so far, the only person who cares that he didn’t make it to the World Championships is him.  And he should care since he’s worked basically his entire life towards that goal.  But, he doesn’t appear to have let anyone down but himself, though he doesn’t act that way.

So, the fact that the family hot springs is named “Yu-topia”… did that influence Yuri’s name at all, I wonder?

Ha!  I wish I could have recorded the Japanese actor’s voice when he says this line.  He makes Yuri sound so done with it all, lol.  It’s the best.

Ok, so a number of very interesting and entertaining things happen in succession that I don’t feel like screencapping.  No hug between the littlest Katsuki and the senior Katsukis, even though he hasn’t been home in 5 years.  Fascinating. No doubt cultural (I’m guessing) but fascinating.  

Yuri’s mom basically calls Minako a drunk.  To her face. LOL.  But I imagine no one can get mad at this sweet lady.

Minako calls Yuri out on his weight gain in front of God and everybody.  Though, I think it’s more of a matter of his clothes no longer fitting due to said weight gain.  

But, his parents don’t care. Eat more pork cutlet bowls, Yuri! Welcome home!

Vicchan’s shrine is where they also store the unused treadmill.  Want to bet the only person to use it was Yuri?

Then older sis Mari-neechan appears with frosted tips.  I can appreciate a character that doesn’t beat around the bush (a trait she inherited from her mother, I imagine).  Welcome home, Yuri, but don’t sit on your ass.  Start thinking about your next move.    

Actually *loads headcanon* I suspect Mari doesn’t want Yuri to give up on skating.  The longer he stays at home, the more quitting becomes a possibility.

So, the Katsuki family hot springs resort (Inn?  Restaurant?) is the last one standing in town.  Very OT, but I wonder if the hot springs are still an attraction at all and are perhaps, government-owned?  Protected, used by tourists for a fee, perhaps?  I think about things like that.

Having never visited a hot spring, and based on the setting around Minako while she watches the World Championships on TV, it appears to be a place for people to come, soak, and lounge and grab a bite to eat if the mood strikes.  So, the Katsukis wait on people basically all day long.  Gotta be exhausting work.

Yuuuuuko!  The Madonna of Ice Castle Hasetsu!  Yuri’s crush on her is hella cute.

A slight segue to Yuri’s perceived attraction to Yuko and what it could imply about his sexual identity.  Per his labeling of Yuko as a “Madonna,” I figure Yuri considers Yuko untouchable, perhaps even “too good” for him.  Yuko, just like Victor, is “ideal”.  For someone as self-conscious as Yuri, comparing any romantic prospects against his two ideals was probably a convenient excuse not to get *too* close to anyone, male or female.  That being said, he didn’t pursue Yuko.  Alcohol loosened enough of Yuri’s inhibitions to eventually openly flirt with Victor, but this is still an important distinction, IMO.  He pursued one of his ideals (in more ways than one, even going so far as to leave home to in hopes of becoming Victor’s equal) and left the other one behind.

Yuri idealizes/d Yuko, and comes to love Victor.  He’s gay.  Bi, at the least.  

I don’t feel confident in applying any other labels, because I’m a straight.  Yuri could fall under any number of categories as long it they include, IMO, same-sex attraction.

In actuality, Yuko is “introduced” to the audience as Yuri’s straight love interest, but that doesn’t last long.  Cute and clever, show creators.  Cute. And . Clever.

Then we find out, via flashback, a) how adorable they all were when they were little kids and b) Yuko wanted to see Yuri compete against Victor.  Yuko has been a profound influence on Yuri.

So, Victor.  This guy is in a class by himself.  The animators obviously invested a lot of time in his movements.  You can see why he leads the field even at 27.

Also, the creators had the nerve, the audacity, the unmitigated gall to compose an original opera aria for a cartoon.  That was my next indicator that this was more than a cutesy figure skating anime.  

The song really is beautiful, too.  Probably my favorite in the soundtrack.

Who’s the last IRL skater to win 5 consecutive World Championships?  Michelle Kwan, maybe?  Who is Kwan’s male equivalent?  Back then, probably Alexei Yagudin?  May research. May not. 

Anyway, Victor is the Michelle Kwan of YOI-verse lol.

Hmm.  Here come the three brats.  Good God.  Poor Yuko and Takeshi lol.

So sweet to see Yuri’s childhood bully is his biggest fan now.

Sooo, Yuko’s triplets secretly record Yuri’s private performance, post it online (sometime before April 10, when Victor shows up), and things progress rather quickly from there...

Or do they?  It appeared to me that Yuri caught up with Yuko at the rink the same day he returned home.  Did he skate Victor’s routine for her that day, as well, or did it happen later?  Perhaps the triplets waited a few weeks to post the video, or else it took a few weeks to go viral.  Did Yuri turn off his phone for *weeks* to avoid the world?

Maybe he got home on March 30 and then the whole month of April just went to hell for him?  The possibilities...

LOL, I’m so SO mad the title of the video is “Katsuki Yuri TRIED to Skate Victor’s FS Program”. Those brats.

This might be the most unattractive Victor’s ever looked.  Severe close-ups aren’t flattering on anyone.  Welp, down the rabbit hole now.  

So, in the next scene it snows in April which doesn’t stop anyone from stripping naked to bathe in a hot spring, apparently.  Or it just doesn’t stop Victor.

#moneyshot

I like this ending theme much better.  It’s a head-bopper.  The Instagram reel kills me.  

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read through this stream of consciousness!  No idea how long it may take me to get through the rest.  I tip my hat to those who regularly and passionately participate in fandom.  It’s a lot of work!

[brisfanfictions]

13. “There’s no way I’m going out there in that weather!” [D. Malfoy]

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Writing Prompt - 13. “There’s no way I’m going out in that weather!” Couple - Draco Malfoy and Rosalie Watson Image Reference: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/2d/f5/ce/2df5ce8822349bced206604256f81f9f.png Word Count: 1,866 words

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Sooo... I know I’ve been mass publishing a lot of my works. Some old and some more newer than others. My writing has improved a lot (if you can’t tell with some of my Shadow and Ashley fanfics).

But, I’ve kinda got hit with a ton of inspiration to write a lot of different stories through that 100+ Winter writing prompts. I hope you guys enjoy this story as much as I spent a ton of time and effort into writing it.

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Rosalie Ashlen Watson, or Rose as her friends call her, had long blonde hair with bright blue eyes. She was super sweet and kind. Despite her Hogwarts House being Slytherin. The students that she spoke to when she was walking along the train, in her First Year, was shocked to see her get place into Slytherin. Even when she speaks to the new First Years every year (she is now in her Sixth Year at Hogwarts). Because of how she had displayed herself.

Sometimes she gets bullied by one girl in her class, Pansy Parkinson. The girl hated her because she was best friends with someone she had a crush on (which the blonde also had a crush on).

It was around Christmas time and she was on break from Hogwarts after her O.W.L.s. She was home, spending Christmas with her best friend's, and her crush's, house.

"Come on, Draco!" Rose begged the other blond haired male. He had steely gray eyes, that is always an open book to her. As she's known him since the day she was born. Her parents and hers were long time friends. "Let's head outside! We should build a snowman or take our sledge [North America: Its a sled] and just fly down those hills."

Upon hearing his name, he looked out the window from his house's Library windows. As he was sitting on a couch, doing his homework while Rose was sitting in an armchair nearby.

"There's no way I'm going out in THAT weather!" Draco cries. He had seen how badly it had snowed and he wasn't going to go out in it. He could freeze to death! "You go do that while I stay here and finish my homework."

And that he did. He didn't pay much attention to her after that.

"Asshat," Rose says, glaring at him. "At least I'm trying to do stuff with you. I already got my homework done early on purpose. So I could spend time with my best friend. However, seems like my so-called best friend doesn't want to even spend ten minutes with me."

She was definitely angry. With a huff, she gets up and storms off. She wrapped herself as warmly as possible and headed outside. The snow fall was picking up. Almost as if it was a blizzard.

Draco, on the other hand, huffed in annoyance back at her. He pretended like he didn't care. Even though he did. He cared about Rose and her wellbeing very much. As she was his only real friend. The others he made was because his parents wanted him to have some of the same influence as they had when they were younger. So he didn't really consider them his friend. Not the way he considered Rose his friend.

Plus, he had a secret crush on her since they had turned fourteen.

After about fifteen minutes, his parents had walked in. They were going to warn Rose and their son about the blizzard fast approaching.

Narcissa, Draco's mummy, looked a bit confused while concerned.

"Draco," she says. "Where's Rosalie?"

Draco looked up after finishing his History of Magic homework. "She went outside," he tells them. When their expressions turned to one of panic and fear, he grew even more concerned. "Why does your expression concern me?"

"Well, son," Lucius, Draco's father, spoke up. "There is a blizzard fast approaching..."

Draco's eyes widened. He abandons his current homework and dashes out the door. He grabbed his coat and bundled himself up. His parents following behind.

"You're not going out in this weather," his mother says, sounding stern.

"Punish me when I get back with Rose," Draco says harshly. It was his fault for not stopping her. It was his fault that the only girl he cares about is out in this blizzard. The only girl who knew him better than he knew himself. Not even his mother knows everything about him like Rose does.

Without hearing his parent's protests, he ran outside. He pushes forward. Occasionally calling out for Rose.

Rose was getting really cold. She was reprimanding herself for being so stupid. For not staying inside.

Several minutes pass and Draco still didn't find Rose. He was getting really mad at himself for not giving her the time of day. He was still calling out her name.

Rose, who had heard him this time, called out, "Draco!" She was running in the direction of his voice.

He had heard her cry and kept calling out to her and running to her.

They meet in the middle. Draco gives her a great big hug to warm her up. While showing that he really did care about her. She was hugging him in return, though. As she was just glad that he came to rescue her. Like he did when it came to Parkinson's bullying, too. He would always stick up for her. He was her own knight in shining armor.

"You're so bloody stupid, Rosie," Draco says, pulling away to look down at her. "Let's hurry to get inside. My mum is probably worried sick about you."

She looked confused at his words. "What do you mean me?" She asks.

He smiles a little sheepishly, walking towards the direction he came from. "Well," he shyly begins. "I told my mum and dad that you had gone out in this weather... Just to go sledding... However, you got caught in this storm... Which I'm sure my mum would be really wanting to baby you and make sure you're warm and stuff." He was clearly avoiding her eye contact.

Rose smiles, snuggling closer to him. "Thank you for coming out to save me from the blizzard," she softly says.

They were silent the whole way back to Malfoy Manor. When they arrived, Draco got an earful from his mum and dad about how reckless he was for letting Rose out into the storm. However, he just accepted his punishment (no Quidditch practice for a week) as it was worth it.

Rose had sat in the comfiest chair while Narcissa had grabbed a warm blanket and given her some hot tea to for her and even going above and beyond by lighting up the fireplace for her.

Draco had stood off to the side, leaning against the wall. Just quietly watching his mum and Rose talk and interact with one another. Not even realizing his dad had snuck up next to him.

"She is a lovely young woman, you know?" Lucius says, smirking a bit.

Draco jumps a bit in shock that his father had appeared next to him.

"Rose?" He asks him. A bit curious about where this is going.

"Of course," he responds. "Your mother is a lovely woman, too, but I was definitely talking about Miss Watson there."

Draco turns his attention back onto his mum and Rose.

"I wouldn't be against it if you did want to," Lucius says, thinking on his phrasing a bit. "Court her. She has a great pureblood line. Generations of Slytherin, like our family."

He turns to his father with a raised eyebrow. "You approve of her? Even though she doesn't think like us? That Muggles are the bane of our existence? That wizards need to take over the world?" He just was unconvinced that his father would accept Rosalie like that.

Lucius chuckles a bit, patting his son on the shoulder. "You can just convince her to join us, otherwise."

Draco kept his face stoic. Despite him not wanting to convince Rose to join the Death Eaters. He was forced into it and he had to get the Vanishing Cabinet when he returned home. He was even a little shocked that Voldemort wasn't even there and allowed him to come home for Christmas. Which probably explains why he's allowed home because he's not there.

"I will try, Father," was all he says.

Rose glances up to see Draco and Lucius talking. However, when she meets Draco's eyes, she gives him the warmest smile. A smile that he felt like he didn't deserve as he was the reason that she got stuck out in the storm for several minutes.

Once Narcissa stopped doting on Rose, her and Lucius had left the room. Just leaving the teenagers alone together. It was mostly a comfortable silence.

Eventually, he approaches her and sits on the armrest of the chair. She could sense that something is bothering Draco.

He takes a deep breath and comes clean to her. That he's been lying to her these last few months. That he is now a Death Eater, like his father and aunt Bellatrix Lestrange, against his wishes. That was given the task to fix the Vanishing Cabinet. To kill Dumbledore in the process. That he was failing at fixing the cabinet. Just everything.

Rose quietly listened, sipping her tea while he talked. When he was done, she put it on her saucer and placed it on a table next to her with a table lamp.

"Why are you telling me this?" She asks, sounding indifferent.

Draco could sense that she was beyond mad right now. Despite her calm exterior. He got down to kneel in front of her. To look her in the eyes with utmost regret and fear.

"Because I don't want my family to die, Rosie," he whispers. "Voldemort will kill me and my family if I fail him. My father has, basically, given me his blessing on one condition."

She was confused by what he meant by "blessing," but it made her heart skip a beat.

"What's the blessing? What's the condition?"

He took another deep breath, looking down at the floor.

"He gave me his blessing to date you..."

"But?"

He takes another deep breath.

"But, he wants you to join the Death Eaters... And I don't want you joining because they're so bloody fucked up in every single way, Rosie... You're truly the only person that cares about me... That let's me be myself with no judgement... I don't want the Death Eaters to change who you are..."

Then he looks into her eyes. "The person that I love and want to protect in this whole world. To shield you from Voldemort and protect you. Its why I haven't hung out with you. I didn't want to suck you into my family's mess."

He glances away. "I understand if you don't want to talk to me ever again... Just remember how much I truly love you..."

She was stunned into silence at his confession.

When she didn't answer, he got up. Ready to leave and feel like shit because he had ruined a great friendship with someone.

She stops him by placing a hand upon his arm.

"Stay... We can sit by the fire together and cuddle... Because I love you, too, Draco Lucius Malfoy..."

Draco turns around when he hears what she says. He pulls her out of the chair, sits down first and then pulls her into his lap. He was happy that he admitted how he felt. That she was his whole entire world. That he would do anything to protect her and he will love her until the day he dies.

[faedragon-portfolio]

Writing: A Most Treasured Gift

hey!!! i wrote a thing would ya look at that

i began writing this abooouttt 2 or so weeks ago? and a friend (the awesome @xnovatoniic) drew art for it sooo here’s both!

(also this is pre-game so yea)

The fact that the first person I saw when I woke up was Hana wasn’t an odd thing. Since we shared a room, we often saw each other pretty soon after waking.

What I was NOT used to seeing, though, was her being right in my face.

“Uh...Hana?”

She grinned, obviously excited about...something. “Sora, did you forget what day it is?”

Now that I was getting more awake, I was able to think on her words. The date...the date...December 25th…

“Ah.”

Of course. Christmas.

“Get dressed, then get downstairs!” Hana, apparently, was already dressed, wearing a red and green dress with a fancy pattern. She got off the bed and left, likely heading downstairs to allow me to get ready myself.

I knew why she was excited, but I couldn’t understand the feeling itself. My birth parents only celebrated Christmas with friends of theirs, never with me. The best they’d give me is a few bucks to go buy some cheap gift for myself.

It’s not like they really cared about what I liked, anyway.

The outfit I put one was more simple than Hana’s, being only a green shirt with a tie and dark green pants.

Now, time for the other part of Hana’s demand.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs and looked into the living room, I was quite surprised. Decorations were all over the place, from a wreath to ribbons to the large christmas tree in the center of the room. Akito and Osamu were sitting on a couch nearby, while Hana was sitting on the floor closer to the tree.

The second she saw me, that grin from earlier returned. “Over here!”

Though I was still very confused, I did as she said to, walking over and sitting on the floor next to her.

“So...what exactly is all of this?”

“Well,” Osamu chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Considering your past, we all figured you...weren’t used to Christmas traditions. So we decided to ramp up our normal activities to make it special for you.”

“I still think you went overboard.” Akito sighed. “Honestly, you made so many cookies.”

“What? I can sell leftovers!”

“Mom, Dad, enough stalling!” Hana shuffled closer to the tree, grabbed a stack of four presents, then moved back over to me. “Here, these are for you. Oh, but open the one on top last!”

...this felt like a dream. Something in me was saying that at any point, I’d wake up to be in my old house, with my birth parents, on a Christmas that would be barely celebrated.

But that small voice was squashed when I felt Hana take my hand and give it a small squeeze, as if she could tell what I was thinking.

I breathed in, out, then reached towards the first gift.

Inside was a large cookbook, obviously full of recipes of all kinds.

Osamu smiled. “That’s from me. Feel free to test them out whenever you want.” He chuckled. “If they’re good enough, I might add them to the menu!”

I decided that I would flip through it later, then opened the next one. It was another book- this time, it seemed to be about birds.

“That one is mine.” Akito was the one to speak this time. “I know you like birds, so when I saw this, I knew it was perfect.”

She wasn’t wrong. Birds fascinated me, no matter what kind they were.

The third gift, obviously Hana’s, was very different from the other two. It was a coat, with black on the rims and a grey and white checker pattern.

“I saw that and knew it’d fit you perfectly!” She grinned. “And I can always make small adjustments if it’s too big or too small.”

Now, they all looked to me, obviously waiting for me to open the final gift.

“Why exactly…?”

“It’s from all three of us.” Akito smiled. “I...think you’ll be happy to see this.”

I was confused, but nonetheless picked up the present. It seemed to be in a flat box, and opening it revealed a piece of paper with some complicated words on it.

My eyes skimmed it, catching a few words.

Official...court...custody…

Wait.

“Is...i-is this…”

Osamu gently smiled. “Yes. We have custody over you now.”

“It took a good bit of work, and a lot of time talking to your birth parents.” Akito sighed. “I was worried it wouldn’t be officiated until after Christmas...but it was.”

Hana grinned. “You’re stuck with us now!”

So casual, but…

My vision began to get blurry, and I felt something wet build up in my eyes and roll down my face.

All I could feel at first with relief.

This was it.

I never had to see my birth parents again. I was with Hana, Akito, and Osamu now.

Following this was an overwhelming happiness.

“T-Thank you...thank you s-so much…!”

Hana held my hand even tighter, and her other arm moved to wrap around me in an embrace, which I quickly returned. Akito and Osamu had gotten up as well, the former stand over us with a smile and the latter leaning down and placing a hand on my back.

Once I managed to calm down, Hana rummaged through her pockets and pulled out a camera. “This is special, so before anything else, we gotta take a picture!”

It was snowing out, so we decided to head outside for the photo. I quickly put on the coat Hana had given me, and followed the three outside.

The snow was gently falling, and though it was early in the morning, many other people were outside, mostly children who were playing around in the snow.

Akito took the camera from Hana, who immediately ran back over to me, moving to wrap her arm slightly around mine and grab my hand again. “Just the two of us first.”

“Alright.” I could tell that I was smiling. It was wider than I ever thought would have been possible.

But this was real. I was here, with people who genuinely cared for me, with a silly grin on my face.

And I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.

“Alright...1, 2, 3-”

[fyodorscenarios]

Oh hello! I just wanna say that I really.. REALLY adore your blog. It feels like I'm "talking" to an open minded person and honestly, I love this kind of people. Seriously. Also, personally, I never get bored over a conversation with someone like that. Is just, amazing. Sooo, I just want to wish you good luck with this blog. Now, if I may, can you make a sweet scenario with our dear Fyodor with his s/o who was, in the past, his childhood best friend? (it's ok if you don't want to, I understand)

Ahh thank you so much! I’m glad that you get the impression that I’m open minded haha, since I do try to be. If you ever do want to actually talk to me about anything I’m always open for chats too. Whether it be about BSD or anything else.

I actually did make a scenario a while back about Fyodor’s childhood friend confessing to him, so this one can act as a continuation. Part 1 is here.

- 

You can hear the water ebb and flow beneath you and the wind moving through the trees. It’s a cool Spring night, to be expected this time of year.

He’s told you before that he likes this temperature the most. He can still wear his much loved fur hat and coat, and he doesn’t run the risk of getting frostbite.

In the Winter he would always come home with slightly reddened cheeks and snow covered eyelashes. This is why Winter was not sad for you; there were things to look forward to.

You were grateful for so much. Neither of you had been fortunate in your early years, but in finding each other things had changed.

You had been sensitive back then, like many children were. It made you quite the target. In grade school you were called annoying by various children, and chased around the field by some as they insulted you. Crying just resulted in you being labelled as a crybaby. It escalated from there, and resulted in you becoming withdrawn and quiet. When you couldn’t hold your words back, the teasing continued.

You still wondered why this had begun in the first place. Children have a knack for picking out the weakest link it seemed. 

When you first met him he had transferred to your school a few years in. He was tall for his age, and quite expressionless. You were drawn to him from the moment you saw him. A part of you realized your opportunity. If you got to him first, perhaps he wouldn’t start teasing you like the others.

However, the boy avoided you as he did most everyone else. Many children, including you, attempted to speak with him. He would either walk away or never respond. Sometimes while playing outside, you would turn to find him staring at you from a few metres away, as if he wanted to approach you. You would wave, and he would walk away.

He finally spoke to you at a very strange time.

You had been pressing your hands into the ground. It felt like a sponge, as moisture from the rainfall was still imbued within it. A small pink worm popped out of the ground, and you eased it out with your fingers, staring at it as it wriggled in your palm.

“I’ll call you Mr. Wormy,” you said to it, “if that boy Fyodor won’t be my friend, I’ll just have to stick with you.”

“What are you doing?” you jumped at the sudden utterance, almost dropping the worm. Fyodor was standing beside you.

“I found a worm!” you said, holding your hand out to the boy.

He knelt down beside you. “It looks like a rat’s tail,” he said. “Can I hold it?”

You nodded, holding your hand closer. Fyodor picked up the worm, and watched it wriggle in his hand for a few moments.

“Can you be my friend instead of the worm?” you asked suddenly. “I mean, worms can’t speak. So they won’t bully me, but we also can’t talk about things.”

“They die quick too,” he responded. You nodded.

“We need to stick together, or else everyone will keep calling us weird.” you huffed.

“They call me weird?” he asked, seemingly unfazed.

“Yes! When you’re not around they call you all sorts of mean things. They’re scared of you, so they won’t call you that in person. Nobody’s scared of me, I cry too easily.” you exclaimed.

“So will you be my friend?” you repeated. “I’ll be your’s too. I don’t have to talk if you think I’m annoying. As long as you let me sit with you at lunch and recess. That way we won’t look strange for not having any friends.”

“I guess it’s fine,” Fyodor replied.

“Yay!” you said happily, “can I hug you?”

“No, I don’t like hugs.”

You pouted at his reply, but were still overjoyed that you had finally made your first friend.

You had stuck together since then, always the odd ones out. Now, you had been dating for a few months. Something you had dreamed of for years.

It wasn’t uncommon for the two of you to go on late night walks. Fyodor enjoyed the city the most when other people weren’t around. You enjoyed staring up at the moon and watching the lights in old Soviet era apartment blocks flicker on and off.

The sprawl of an empty city brought with it mixed feelings of wonder and sobering isolation. Yet as you became lost within the dark spots of the street his fingers fit between your’s and tethered you to reality. For to tug was to find him there.

His eyes had an ethereal quality at night. They were as dark as the water beneath you.

Your arms rested on the rail of the bridge, with your chin on top. Fyodor had his head on his hand.

Most of these strolls were full of silent contemplation. This had been one of those moments.

“Do you think that you’ll ever tire of me?” Fyodor broke the silence, eyes still fixed on the darkened horizon.

“No. Fedya, you’re probably the most interesting person in the world. At least to me.” you reply, slightly confused by his question.

He hums in response.

“If anyone got tired of the other, I’m sure you would get tired of me.” you continue.

“I’ve never once found you boring,” he replies. “Well, sometimes you talk about boring things, but that doesn’t make you boring.”

You let out a small laugh. “I’m surprised.”

“You shouldn’t be. I’ve told you many times, I wouldn’t have spent this much time around you if I found you boring and unlikable. I have very little personal relationships, and I should probably value them more than I do.”

Hearing him acknowledge his own faults was practically unheard of. But there was always more to him. You knew that you would never know him entirely, and yet you hoped you could someday.

“That’s because you value the whole, right? You’ll make the world a better place, and in bettering the whole, you’ll bring your loved ones joy. Am I wrong?”

There was no response, often the case with Fyodor. You would offer your analysis of his behaviour and thoughts, and he would make no reply. You never knew if your thoughts were correct, but you figured if you were on the mark it would show how much you cared for him.

You turn away from the water to examine his face. It’s neutral as usual, unreadable.

“I love you, and I think I always will. Just remember that.” you say.

He turned after you said this, cracking a small smile.

“I feel the same.” he says.

“Can I get a hug because you didn’t say ‘I love you’?” you say playfully.

“No. I can write it down on a piece of paper if you want, then you can look at it whenever you want me to say it to you.”

You shake your head. “Why do you always insist on not hugging? We’ve done things now that are way more intimate than that.”

“Hugs are strangely uncomfortable. Though I suppose I can grant you one,” he sighs, like it’s a big deal.

You smile, quickly wrapping your arms around him and resting your head against his chest.

“Hug me back please.” you say.

Fyodor slowly wraps his arms around you.

He’s told you once that he doesn’t see much value in hugs. However, some hugs can be quite valuable. As you listen to Fyodor’s heartbeat, it gives him a moment to look at you openly. Too guarded to display emotions when anyone is looking, he stares at you lovingly, momentarily completely enthralled.