#also there’s so many spoilers and I’m doing my best to avoid them but I think the anime has passed me

[obsessionstate]

I really need to catch up on op again

[antiadvil]

early tit shows request

I already posted this in the community tab but wanted to make a separate post so it can be shared more widely.

TLDR I’m very photosensitive and have tit tickets for November 3rd in Chicago. I would like to compile a list of the flash effects in the show and when they are before I go, so I can know when to look away. If anyone else would find this useful, I can share the list publicly. I'll put the rest under a cut because it's very long and I want any discussion via reblog chain to be legible:

why i need help:

As some of you may know because I bitch about constantly, I have chronic migraine, and one of my symptoms is photophobia that ranges from moderate to severe Literally All Of The Time. On a good day I’m able to hang out in a dim room wearing my tinted glasses and experience no light related pain but even on my best migraine days I still find very bright, flashing, or flickering lights to be very painful to look at or generally exist around. I bought a tit ticket fully knowing there would likely be flash effects in it because WAD did, many of their videos do, ii and tatinof probably did, I don’t remember, and literally every stage production I have been to in the past year did, except for an orchestra, if that counts as a stage production 😂. I literally would not be able to leave my apartment if I avoided everything that triggers my photophobia considering the Literal Sun is one of the biggest offenders so I am really not looking for people to tell me to just not go or whatever. Obviously I hope that my migraine resolves by the time my show comes around (like at least breaking down into individual episodes instead of one incredibly long migraine would be nice), and it’s possible it will, since I haven’t actually gotten to try the most promising treatments yet bc insurance bullshit, but I expect to still be dealing with this two months from now.

how you can help:

So, it would be really helpful if anyone was able to tell me about the flash effects in the show before I go. Ideally, I would like to know how many there are, how extreme they are, how long they last, and MOST ideally, approximately when in the show they happen so I can cover my eyes and look away beforehand (I’m thinking, like, “after they do abc they flash the lights,” not timestamps, since I think that would be much easier for everyone involved to remember. I know this will probably involve spoilers, I don’t mind, I’m currently planning to look at spoilers for the show). I know this is not something people with normal eyes/brains/optic nerves normally remember after shows (even my closest friends who are genuinely trying have failed to warn me about flash effects before) but I am hoping through the power of crowdsourcing i can put together a semi-complete guide to When To Look Away At Tit For Photophobic people. I can share that doc if there’s any interest in it and anyone who is able to “test drive” the document before my show would be very helpful. I’m also willing to keep making changes to the document after my show, if that’s something people would find helpful. If it is though I would really appreciate hearing from you- even if it's just an anon or something, because I'm not going to do extra work if I don't think it will reach anyone who needs it. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's planning to go to tit and just suffer through any flash effects, but I don't know if this post/the document I make will reach any of them (does anyone know if there's an accessibility/disability community on phan twitter??). My tentative plan is to share the document regardless, since it doesn't take much extra work from me, but if this is something that would benefit you please reach out so we can make sure it benefits you too.

a hopefully helpful guide to flash effects:

Another challenge is, quite frankly, most people are very bad at even noticing flash effects if they’re not photosensitive. I get it, as a newly photosensitive person I was genuinely confused about why I left across the spiderverse with such a bad headache, because nothing in it looked like a “flash effect” to me. Some things that have triggered my photophobia before that people may not think of as “flash” effects include: the snow effect in stardew valley, candles (flames in general create a very flickery light), glitch/static editing effects, the sort of stuttery/laggy way video games look when your graphics card is bad, and video that flips through photographs/backgrounds very quickly (this is worse the more different the colors/etc in the photos/backgrounds are from each other but even if it’s done in a more stopmotion kind of way it still bugs me at low FPS. It’s like the video game thing, I’m not sure if there’s an actual word for that). Another thing that commonly bothers people (personally it doesn’t hurt much though it can make me a bit motion sick) is sort of swirly “hypnotizing” gifs.

From the set photos, I think any flash effects would most likely come from the light/rope/wire things, those just look perfect for some kind of sparking/lightning effect which I imagine would be very obvious and easy to spot. The video screens could probably also be a problem but if they’re all at standard screen brightness, unless they all start being flashy at the same time, they’re a much smaller portion of the audience’s field of vision so I don’t think they would be as problematic (though I would still like to know about them!). My worst fear is that they’re playing something really staticky for the entire show, though I hope that at my distance from the stage, the static would be small enough to just kind of blend into gray and not bother me much.

in conclusion:

Yes, this could all be solved if people stopped putting so many fucking flash effects in their shows. I am begging for the entire world to realize that nine times out of ten they are Completely Not Worth It and just putting a “some flash effects may not be suitable for photosensitive viewers!!!” warning on every piece of media ever created does not make their media accessible (hey Netflix! Wanna give me a timestamp to skip or am I just expected to never watch Stranger Things?). But here we are.

[butterr-bee]

WL!Winner Imagery Thoughts

Since the Wild Life finale was yesterday I thought I would share my thoughts on what the winner’s celestial symbolism should be in the form of a very long tumblr post, because what else do I have to do with my time?

Spoilers for the Wild Life SMP finale and winner + long post

Firstly a big congrats to Joel for winning!!! It's very deserved and he worked so hard for it, so GG!!

Like I said above, I’ve got some thoughts about what celestial body we should use to represent him as a winner and so I’m going to share them with whoever stumbles upon this.

[NOTE: Anything I say here is not meant to attack anyone who has different opinions or belittle anyone. I’m doing this for fun and to share my thoughts, not to hurt anyone's feelings. I love you all, do whatever you want forever.]

So far for each of the winners we have;

Sun - Grian

Stars - Scott

Moon - Pearl

Mars - Martyn (some people say Comet/Meteor but Mars is the most popular)

Earth - Scar

Pluto - Cleo (this depends on your personal headcanons as well but I like it, and this post isn’t about the intricacies of mine)

Now as funny as all of the “he should be car” jokes are (seriously they’re hilarious to me), I don't want to take away from his win by making it a joke, especially since we already have someone who isn’t fully accepted as a serious winner. (IDC if it was April Fools, Cleo you will always be a winner in my heart)

I’ve also seen a few people say Mars or Meteor, but this becomes confusing with Martyn’s symbolism and takes away from Joel’s win as well. I want to avoid that as much as possible because he deserves the same respect as the other winners.

Other ones I’ve seen are; Chariot, Supernova, White Dwarf, Shooting Star, Neutron Star, Jupiter, Mercury, and I’m sure there are more. None of these really stick for me so I’m going to go ahead and add to the list.

Usually, I’ve stayed out of discussions about winner symbolism in the past and left it up to the more brainy fans, but I have thought about what different players could be from time to time since I absolutely love space. When my older sibling said Venus it got my mental hamster going on its wheel.

Venus has been a popular planet in history for an incredibly long time and in many different cultures. It’s the second brightest object in the night sky (second to the Moon) and has a fascinating synodic cycle (how it moves through the sky). This movement causes it to get to a certain distance from the Sun to make it look like it’s disappearing from the sky for several days and then reappearing on the other side of it. Because of this, Venus can appear before sunrise in the morning or after sunset in the evening, but it never seems to reach the top of the sky. This has led to it being known by two other names, Morning Star and Evening Star. It also has many other names in different cultures and it wasn’t until the 13th century that it was given the name Venus, but I won't go into all of that today.

Venus has lots and lots of history around it mythologically, having been portrayed as both feminine and masculine and even as two figures at once. It’s known for representing love, war, beauty, and relationships—and it just isn’t quite right for Joel.

So after doing my extra research on Venus, I found that it wasn’t really the best fit (sorry Kat, not enough talk about family for it to cut it /hj). Even with the interesting parallel of Grian and Joel’s dynamic and how Venus goes from one side of the Sun and ends up on the other, it was too much of a stretch. I was going to stop here but then I got thinking about other planets and my mind wandered to the seventh planet from the sun.

You all know and love to make jokes about his name, Uranus! (a little pet peeve of mine, it’s pronounced your-un-us NOT your-anus)

Uranus is one of two Ice Giants and has the coldest planetary atmosphere in the Solar System. It’s named after the ancient Greek deity of the sky, the father of Kronos, but it has been argued that it has more mythological relevance with my favorite boy Prometheus. You know, the Titan that ticked off the gods by stealing fire for mortals and now has to have his liver eaten by eagles for eternity? Yeah, my boy.

This planet is known for being the planet of freedom and revolutionary vision. It represents the urge for change, the ability to visualize new possibilities, and “breaking through”. Much like how Joel was trying a new tactic for winning this season, Uranus is known symbolically for defying tradition and embracing change and originality.

So, it’s known for breakthroughs, extremes, innovation, and rebellion. Sounds about right for Joel, but I didn’t want to stop there. Doing more digging I looked for other similarities between the two of them.

A lot of what I found fit Joel’s character pretty well, but mostly from past seasons; eccentric, strange, unique, unpredictable, and untamed (although Joel is always strange /lh) but I was looking for something more current, something that was all about family. I did find the word wild used and referred to a few times though which was great.

My search was getting repetitive, everyone had the same things to say about Uranus’s symbolism and I was looking for someone to go more in-depth. But eventually, I made a breakthrough (how fitting)—the word “reformation”, which Oxford defines as “the action or process of reforming an institution or practice”. Bingo baby!

I looked further into this side of Uranus, the sort of things that use the wild aspects of this sort of personality in meaningful and productive ways. Lots of people were saying that negative expressions of Uranus include irresponsibility and rebelliousness without a cause—things that kept Joel from winning in the past—but I found someone who said this;

“Uranus asks us to adopt a humanitarian spirit and global mindset, allowing us to live as one unified being.”

This implies that to reach the positive expressions of Uranus—things like progressiveness, ingenuity, and enlightenment—a person under this planet would need to start looking beyond themselves as a singular goal and to care for and support others. To “live as one unified being” the way one might say a family should work together as a unit for the benefit of everyone involved. In other words, to use their eccentric and wild personality to help others as well as themself.

And what was Joel’s entire Wild Life PoV about? Dom Toretto Flipping his previous tactic of being an insane loner /j on its head and making friends by helping everyone else as well as himself. He used his wild nature and ability to commit to the bit to his advantage and won the whole series as the last green name, last yellow name, and last man standing.

So that is why I propose that we start using the planet Uranus to symbolize Joel’s victory—an equally wild and unpredictable symbol that can step up and help others to help himself.

Now, I know it doesn't fit the rhyme that’s been going around, but I can’t think of anything else that fits better and there's always next season for more rhyming words. (Grian did say see you next season, if it doesn't happen IDK what to say about your rhyme, shrug)

Also, not important to characterization but a fun bit of trivia anyway, Uranus was the sixth planet discovered by the ancient Greeks and Romans and it’s the seventh planet from the Sun. So regardless of whether you consider Joel the sixth or seventh winner, there’s a fun number coincidence.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense or fit, I wrote it all on minimal sleep and without my glasses. Also, I haven't watched all of Joel’s life series PoV yet so maybe someone with better qualifications should do this. Anyway, if you made it this far I love you and I wish you well. Have a doodle that I also did without my glasses for your patience and to maybe sway you some more.

[hallabun]

Optimizing Bellara’s Romance

So, I am writing this up in case anyone is interested in getting the most out of romancing Bellara, and in avoiding the pitfalls many of Veilguard's romances have. This all comes down to preference, of course, but here are my personal recommendations. Spoilers ahead!

1. Is Bellara’s romance a good fit for you in the first place?

Bellara’s romance is a pretty textbook friends-to-lovers slow burn. If you’re looking for spice, you’re not getting it here. Additionally, with my own personal optimizations, you won’t get the pillow talk scene either. I swear there is a reason for this and I will go into detail below, but... To summarize why, it’s to push the romance’s progression further into the game’s plot for consistency, and to have Bellara directly involved with the game’s finale.

2. Flirting

When flirting with Bellara, you will notice most of it is just general reassurance. Taking the flirting option whenever you see it will make Rook’s dynamic with Bellara a bit more dry and one dimensional. So don’t do that. You only have to flirt with Bellara once to get her initial romance lock-in scene. I recommend seeing what dialogue option fits best for your Rook, as some of the platonic options are much more charming than the romantic ones. For friends-to-lovers to work, you have to be friends first, after all. So, joke around and get to know her! There are a couple of romantic dialogue options I did really like, but they pop up more in the second act rather than the first. I’ll go into this more below.

3. Timeline

The longer you can put off Bellara’s romance, the better. Now, I’m not saying to put off her personal quests and to leave them all for the end - I’m saying you should plan on locking in her romance and finishing up her personal plot towards the end of Act 2, as opposed to speedrunning it in the very beginning. Bellara’s first lock-in is more of a “we’re interested but we’ll just take things at our own pace” deal, while the final lock-in is Bellara asking if you’re sure you’re still interested after all that’s happened with her and her brother. By having these lock-ins occur towards the second half of Act 2, it makes for less downtime with nothing happening between scenes.

It also optimizes the friends-to-lovers feel of the relationship. During Bellara’s personal quest where she first finds out Cyrian is alive, before any of the lock-ins, there’s a lot of protective and comforting touches between Bellara and Rook, making for a good, subtle hint that they're getting closer. The first lock-in happens a conversation or two after this quest as well, further adding to my point.

To specify, the timeline I like to go by is below. This is to get the best friends-to-lovers feel, while making the pacing more natural and having Bellara more involved with the plot.

Initial Meeting [Act 1] -> Ignoring Most Flirt Options [Act 1] -> Taking Some Flirt Options [Act 2, Early] -> Bellara Discovers Cyrian is Alive -> Take Flirt Options [Act 2, Midway]* -> First Relationship Lock-In [Act 2, Midway] -> Mix of Romantic and Platonic Options [Act 2, Midway] -> Final Relationship Lock-In [Act 2, Late] -> Send Bellara to Deal with the Wards [Act 3]

*I know it looks bad, but these options aren’t actually too flirty. They’re more like… being a bit TOO invested and concerned about Bellara, hinting at deeper feelings.

4. Why make her handle the wards? Doesn’t that remove a scene?

Short answer: yes, it removes a scene.

Long answer: yes, it removes part of a scene, but that works in the relationship’s favor, especially tone and pacing wise. Let me explain. A major issue people have with the romances in Veilguard is that the universal romance scene all companions have in Act Three seems out of place and tone deaf. Like, aww… you’re sad your friend died? We’ll bang, okay?

Neve and Bellara have a special opportunity to circumvent this - sending them to deal with the wards. They’ll be kidnapped and blighted. So, if you’re romancing Bellara, having her get kidnapped not only adds insane stakes to the plot, but it also removes the poorly timed romance scene during the finale. You will get an altered version of this scene post-credits. The theme of “we don’t know what the future holds, so let’s embrace the joy in our lives right now,” becomes very, very fitting … especially since Bellara is healing from being blighted, and her future is uncertain. Bonus points if your Rook is a Grey Warden whose future is also uncertain. It also touches upon the, "what happens after the plot ends?" question a lot of the romances fail to address.

Pacing wise, Bellara is also one of the few romances where her first kiss happens DURING this romance scene. She doesn't even have an almost kiss. So having it occur after the credits, and cutting out the pillow talk, makes for a slower, but smoother pace for the relationship, as opposed to having their first kiss, immediately followed by sitting in bed naked after heavily implied sex. The change feels fitting for the tone of Bellara’s romance.

In addition to all of this, and in addition to all of the cool scenes you get from having your love interest kidnapped, it fits Bellara’s arc very well. Bellara is prone to overthinking things and needing a plan for everything; she even mentions being envious of Rook’s ability to “throw caution to the wind” and “face danger” everyday. Even if that's something she already does, but doesn't recognize. Well, when Rook is in danger in the finale, Bellara specifically decides to face it head on one more time. No planning, no thinking. And it wraps up her concerns with the gods as a Dalish, and, oh man… it’s just really good.

5. Optional Flavor

This is just an aside, but I've found RPing as a Grey Warden with a less than pristine past really enhances the dynamic. Bellara is the only companion you're able to confide to about this; Rook explains how they do all of this for redemption. With how much guilt Bellara deals with during her plot (some of it understandable and some of it unnecessary), having a Rook who also struggles with this, but has largely improved since becoming a Grey Warden, is really nice.

Not to mention, Bellara calls Rook a good person, something that could really mean a lot to them. Bellara also shows no judgement to Rook when talking about their past, and only admires their ability to keep moving forward regardless of the risks. She also still loves her brother despite the mistakes he's made, and she is more than willing to admit she might have accepted Anaris' offer if she were in his shoes, so she's no saint either.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is just keep trying your best.

Also, like mentioned above, a Grey Warden Rook is dealing with the blight, much like a blighted Bellara. A Grey Warden Rook also is the most fitting for someone with a past they're not proud of looking for redemption. Bittersweet... but mainly sweet, I think.

[worldstarz]

shinjiro defends your honor against stupei

pairing: shinjiro aragaki x fem!reader (sees member)

summary: your leader wants to show you a video of the stone-cold shinjiro aragaki getting into a debate with junpei over ranking the girls. he gets very passionate over you.

tags: kinda shitpost ; feat. junpei + protag ; not proofread ; spoiler-free ; mutual pining

notes: just got to october 4th! wrote this to cope! i am not okay! also protag is called leader bc im not looking up his name to avoid spoilers. i’ll edit when i finish the game !!

———

“so if you press this button, the footage should start playing,” the leader points to the console, directing you on how to play the recordings. other than for meetings and before missions, you’ve never been in the command room before. hell, you didn’t even know there were cameras in the building until now.

the specific recording your leader wanted to show you is labeled ‘september 23 - lounge’. as you press the play button, the lights of the command room dim down as the video begins to play on the screen.

———

as expected, the recording shows the first floor lounge. shinjiro and junpei sit on the same couch, but at different ends.

“so, aragaki-senpai, what’s your ranking of all the girls in the building?” junpei leans back, hands behind his head. there is a considerable amount of distance between them, both physically and interpersonally, and junpei decided talking about the ladies is the best way to bridge that distance.

“why would i care?” shinjiro scoffs, his crossed arms not helping the already-tense air.

“oh, come on! with so many beautiful ladies here, you’ve gotta have a ranking by now! like, who’d you rather be alone in a room with? or see in a bikini?” junpei begins listing off the girls in an attempt to convince shinjiro to dig deep into his thoughts and desires. “there’s kirijo-senpai, with that air of elegance and maturity; yuka-tan, a pretty chick very popular among guys our age; fuuka, an all-around cutie; [name], who is… hm…” he didn’t even reach aigis before running out of adjectives. trying to think over his very limited dictionary, he briefly hesitates.

shinjiro visibly perks up upon hearing the last name listed. noticing this, junpei exaggerates his struggle to think.

“hm… what is there about [name]…” junpei rubs his chin, staring at his senpai as his face morphs from an expression of indifference to one of annoyance.

“you’re kidding me, right?” aragaki scowls, sitting up slightly. “you seriously can’t think of anything for [name]?”

“well, she’s just… eh…” junpei trails off. “i wouldn’t rank her very high.”

“i know you’re a moron, but i didn’t know you could be this much of a dumbass,” he leans forward. without even raising his voice, the simple action caused an air of intimidation around him that could be felt even through the screen. “the hell do you mean ‘you wouldn’t rank her very high’? are you fucking blind?”

“nonono, man, she’s attractive-“ junpei frantically tries to explain himself, backtracking on his original plan of getting a reaction out of shinjiro because finding out his senpai’s type was not worth getting his ass beat. but, aragaki continues.

“don’t tell me you’d rank her lower than a goddamn robot!” this was possibly the most passionate he’s ever been, and it was over a casual conversation of ranking the girls in their dormitory building. “she better be in at LEAST your top three or i’m mopping the floors with your ass.”

“no, dude, she’s in my top three, i swear!” junpei’s attempts at damage control were getting more desperate. “she’s probably number one!”

“…number one?” aragaki repeats, as the two sit in a heavy silence for a moment. “you don’t deserve to have her in your number one spot,” he mutters.

“…what?”

“i SAID you don’t DESERVE to have her in your number one spot!!”

“OKAY THEN SHE’S NUMBER TWO!!!” junpei raises his hands up in an act of surrender. “she’s second! [name] is second!”

———

“…”

unable to listen to anymore, you hurriedly hit the pause button. you feel hot, and as the lights turn back on, you make a futile attempt to cover your burning face with your hands.

your leader clears his throat. “so, should i set you two up on a date, or-“

“no!” you exclaim, cutting him off with a wide-eyed expression on your face. “no! no.” you calm yourself down with a deep breath, trying not to imitate junpei’s desperation shown in the video. trying to collect yourself, you add, “that won’t be necessary. shinjiro didn’t even say his own ranking, so all of that probably could have meant nothing. absolutely nothing. right.”

“i mean, if you finish watching-“

once again burying your face into your hands, you yell into your palms to cut him off. a typical response from a teenage girl finding out her crush laid his pride on the line to advocate for her attractiveness.

the leader, ignoring your wishes, presses the play button.

———

“where would you put [name] then?” junpei asks, his signature shit-eating grin on his face. the video seems to have skipped ahead, as evidenced by junpei being much more calm than earlier.

shinjiro hesitates.

the quality is a bit fuzzy, but you can see junpei having a perplexed expression as he leans in to get a better look at shinjiro’s face, who turns his head away.

“are you…” junpei squints, then his eyes widen in surprise. “are you blushing??”

“the hell? no way i am!” shinjiro turns his body away.

“oh man, you should’ve just said you like her!” junpei grins, trying to be a supportive bro!

“i-i don’t even think of her like that! just lay it off!”

“so, what about her, huh?” his excitement shows in his voice. “she’s pretty cute and all. oh, those eyes are gorgeous-“

“i said lay it off!” shinjiro exclaims, and junpei jumps.

“ok man, ok! that’s my bad!” junpei backs up, and the awkward silence returns once more. without saying a word, shinjiro gets up and leaves.

———

at this point, you’ve sat down. the leader turns around to look at you, your face buried into a pillow. your ears are practically glowing red.

“my offer earlier about setting you two up still stands-��� he begins, but as you did before, you cut him off.

“shut up!!!!” you scream into the pillow, kicking your feet. you lift your face from the pillow to meet his gaze.

he can’t help but laugh. “should i get yukari? she probably knows more.”

admitting defeat, you nod.

[katuschka]

Touch Starved Pups – Three

Jake Kiszka x f!Reader x Josh Kiszka October Special (But only because there's a Halloween party in this one. Otherwise, just a continuation of the story.) 5.954 words

Anyway, it you're new to this, welcome to Part Three of the story about what happens to two well-behaved, bored and horny romantics when a new feisty, worldly and hot social media manager enters the building...

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): expressive language, promiscuous behaviour, petting and fingering (f!receiving), some heavy fluff, kissing, sex toys and teasing in public, costumes, alcohol consumption, a very brief mention of marihuana, allusions to continuous online bullying, being in denial of one's feelings

Also, if you like the story and want to get notifications for future updates, you can join the Taglist or see the Masterlist.

Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah

It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough

You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love

There are so many pleasurable things you can do on a rainy October day, instead of being stuck in a conference room. Sleeping comes to mind immediately. Or sleeping with someone. Sleeping after having slept with someone is definitely the best option. Best-served with champagne and strawberries and a Taurus on each side. Nudge nudge, wink wink.

Naughty, naughty thoughts. I promised myself to abstain from that…at least for a while, because two horny Tauruses dogging me all the time were exactly the reason why this couldn’t be just a lazy Saturday afternoon. Oh dog, how I hate conference rooms. 

But who doesn’t, right? Well, apart from the people who have a stick up their asses. And by that I don’t mean any funny silicone shit. I have yet to meet a sane person who doesn’t look either annoyed or miserable while sitting around the long table in a usually cold room. Doesn’t matter if it’s due to the air temperature or the sterile interior design. All those meetings, briefings and brainstorming sessions have nothing to do with creativity and real work. The only ones who enjoy it are those who love to listen to themselves talking, which is usually the only skill they possess. Everyone else is just waiting for it to be over so that they can go back to doing something that is actually productive. 

Like…fucking, preferably. Oh no, not again. Be for real, bitch! F-O-C-U-S. 

At least this was the GVF headquarters and not some fancy-schmancy glass tomb that reeks of Ivy League jizz. That’s why I prefer working with artists. Corporate marketing is boring and often borderline unethical. Here,we had beer. Both Sam and Jake already downed two cans each, which made it pretty obvious that they were just as happy to be there as I was. I took just a few tentative sips myself, as I had to keep in mind what was at stake. 

My job. 

Of all the reasons for summoning an “emergency” meeting, this one’s the worst. 

I tried to ease my mind a bit on my way there by blasting Lucille Bogan in my car, but as soon as that bitch started singing about enjoying two dicks the side of a baseball bat, I almost screamed with exasperation. During the past month, I had tried to avoid exactly that. And for what? I was still pretty much fucked, and not the way I wanted. Damn, how I missed those dicks. But I’m a professional, and even though both of them kept begging instead of just enjoying their much deserved break and time spent at home, I was adamant. 

See, it’s part of my job to make sure there’s no significant online drama. And I obviously failed. You can’t really avoid it, it often spreads like a virus and there’s something new every day, but just like with any other illness, there’s prevention and treatment. Anytime something lasts more than two weeks, I’m bound to report it to the management. And that’s exactly why I’d rather jump in the snake pit today, as it was me who caused the most recent major fuckup. It’s been more than a month. 

So, I submitted all the evidence a week prior and expected to be roasted. I’m no pounce pony though, and I knew very well that apart from the most recent mishap, I had done a really good job in the last six months. High on caffeine and adrenaline, I sat up straight, ready to defend my job. 

“... so, as you can see, that one-time drop on Instagram and Tiktok is counterbalanced by a steady increase of all numbers – not just followers, but also various interactions – on all the platforms except the X, which is fairly specific and…” I expected Melissa from management a.k.a “That Bitch” to interrupt me eventually, and yet I cringed when I finally heard her annoying voice coming out of the large screen in front of us. It matched the face perfectly.

“Well, that’s actually the only reason why we’re even having this conversation. Stella, you must understand that this is a problem. While we don’t believe in strict policies when it comes to mixing your personal and professional life…and you’re all adults…” She both looked and sounded quite unconvinced by her own words. “... this has gone a bit too far. We cannot really tolerate any further damage to the reputation of the band. That’s unacceptable. Thankfully for you, you have significant support who put in a good word for you.”

If clearing one’s throat was an olympic discipline, a few people, both in the room with me and on the big screen, would qualify. That offended me a bit. I’m a tolerant person, but my sex life is not a gob of phlegm, thank you very much. Fuckers.

Anyway, back to business.

“Yes, I understand that, Melissa, and I’ve already made amends.” By making amends I meant that there was currently no mixing going on and I was going to keep it that way in near future. And while I at least pretended to understand why it was “unacceptable”, I wasn’t sure about the other two whom it also concerned and who were sitting opposite to me. To be honest, I had absolutely no idea what was really going on behind Jake’s poker face and sunglasses combined. Josh, on the other hand, kept watching me sideways through his ridiculously long eyelashes while his tongue kept polishing his front teeth, which made him look like he was constantly pouting. I tried to ignore it. “The new strategic plan for the next few months before the scheduled releases is also ready. So, whenever the guys are too, we can start working on it. The three most successful recent posts both on Instagram and Tiktok proved that candid content really is...” Aaaand she interrupted me again.

“This is all very nice Stella, but I want to hear how you’re going to deal with the current issue first.”

I could feel my blood start to boil. I did all I could, even though I didn’t want to, but I just couldn’t fight the nightmare! The best thing to do now was to direct everyone’s attention somewhere else. “Unfortunately, certain things are beyond my control, and…” 

“I don’t think your reputation and your problematic past is entirely beyond your control, Stella.”

My past? MY problematic past? There it was again. It was just a pinkie at first, but I had to grab my right hand with the left one to stop it from shaking. 

“I think that’s enough, Melissa.” It was Jake. No longer leaning back against his chair and acting as if he was in the room entirely by mistake, he was now looking directly at the screen with his left hand placed menacingly on the table. I loved when he was glowering like that. Especially when… focus, you idiot! Meanwhile, he continued, only to be interrupted by Josh, as always. “We all know – including you, I hope – that you can’t really choose your parents. I mean…”

“Yeah, uh, and speaking about parents, I think that if my mother doesn’t see Stella as problematic, then you shouldn’t either.” 

Oh Joshy, baby, that isn’t really helping, and… your mother?! Well, that was a bit embarrassing, given the…well, all of it actually. I had met their mom twice, so I knew she was no prude, but still. Yikes! “Your mom knows about this?” I mewed. I certainly didn’t want to emit such a high-pitched, screechy sound, but as I said, certain things were beyond my control. 

“Well, of course, darling, she doesn’t live in a cave” he replied nonchalantly, before he turned back to Melissa. “But also because she was notified about it, no doubt by the same people who keep sending Stella hateful messages. THAT is unacceptable and problematic. And I think that, um, given wha…uh…given the band’s message and all, we shouldn’t really tolerate when our employees are being bullied, let alone participate in it.” 

The room fell quiet. Both rooms, to be more specific. I didn’t even realize I was gaping at Josh until Danny’s finger gently pushed my chip back up. I turned to my right to look at him and he smiled at me encouragingly. They were all unbelievable. Sometimes I felt like Alice in fucking wackoland. I didn’t even know why I kept denying to admit that they were actually pretty sweet. ‘People are cunts’, that was my favorite mantra and the armor I put on every morning. 

“Very well!” Melissa broke the silence at last. “But I hope we all agree that this must be sorted out. And all I want is Stella to…”

“Ok, let’s not delve into this any further, because it’s both inappropriate and irrelevant.” It was Jake again. While mixing business with bodily fluids wasn’t “exactly discouraged”, keeping anyone from finishing a sentence seemed like a cardinal rule here. Why didn’t anyone tell me before? I’m quite good at it too when needed.

Jake was still talking to Melissa when he turned to me. “... the main issue is with me and Josh having a row or something, that’s how it all started, correct?”

“Correct…,” both me and the Bitch answered in unison, albeit with uncertainty. 

“Cool, so let’s work on that.” And with that, he leaned back again, resuming his previous ‘fuck-this-shit’ posture. 

“Ok…please, do!” Melissa breathed out, pinching her brow.

“I got some ideas…” I added hopefully to break the tension, even though I had N-O-N-E at the moment, because I was very well aware that even if we posted a series of sickeningly sweet shutterstock-ish pictures of the two of them going fishing together, it wouldn’t change a thing. I was still THE problem. 

“Fine, you better make them work. I don’t care how, just fix it. You have one week to come up with a plan, because we need to start working on the RAH teasers well before Thanksgiving, and it would be fine if you managed to boost the numbers even more before that.” 

“Aaaactually, we already have a plan.” It was Sam this time. 

“We do?” I thought I only thought of the question, but apparently, I said it out loud, because Daniel gently stomped on my foot under the table in an obvious attempt to stop me from saying any more. “Yeah, Stella. That costume thing you told us right before the meeting. We actually quite like it. And pardon my amateur opinion, but I think it might work.”

“Oh yeah,” I chimed feebly. I honestly had no idea what was going on and I didn’t like it one bit, but I also wanted it to be over already and any straw I could catch was more than welcome. “Yeah, the costume thing… Ok, let’s try it.” 

 “So…can someone please explain to me what you meant by having a plan?”

We were no longer in that stifling room. Instead, Sam was playing some tune on the piano in the main room while the twins sat sprawled on the couch nearby and Daniel was helping himself to another beer. 

While still playing, Sam turned his head slightly towards me. “It’s top secret. I’ll just have to come to our Halloween party and see for yourself. Believe me, you’ll like it.”

“I really doubt it. I hate Halloween parties.” 

In fact, I hate Halloween parties, New Year’s Eve parties, birthday parties and all that shit. Parties with a small p are just fine, but these organized annual celebrations of infantility often turn to a shitshow, especially when family members are involved. I couldn’t see how replacing sleazy uncles with your actual bosses could be any different. And what was the plan, anyway?

“Told you…” Daniel called while still rummaging in the fridge. Meanwhile, Josh stood up and was now trying to dance with me to the music. Trying is really a very fitting word in his case, because it was like being thrown around the room by a drunk chimpanzee. 

„Dear sparrow, it won’t be just an ordinary Halloween party. I hereby invite you to our night of debauchery and incessant frolicking. Yeah, and the play, well…as Sam said, top secret.“ Josh chimed.

„Don’t you have your own acquaintances to keep you company now we’re back from tour?“ They kept informal, friendly relationships with most of the crew, and I was sure some other people from our team might be there as well, but I didn’t lie when I told That Bitch that I was trying to make amends. 

Josh finally let go of me and collapsed back on the couch. „Ah, no… sadly, there seems to be a dreadful shortage of pretty dicks that would be able to satisfy my refined taste and wild, wicked nature.“

Jake looked as if he would throw up soon. „Don’t listen to him, he’s just bluffing. He’s like a meek lamb when in a relationship.“

Yeah, Jakey, I know, but it’s cute how you both always try to convince me otherwise. 

The remark, however, didn’t throw Josh off the hinges AT ALL. hE kept the facade without even blinking. „…and while I’m still on the lookout for a daddy that would tame me, let’s have some fun in the meantime.“

„There’s no shortage of cunts, though,” I chimed in, trying not to look overly amused by his antiques. 

„Yeah, well, too bad. I’m quite picky,“ he winked at me. 

There was no point in trying to argue with him. “Ok, I’ll think about it.” I wasn’t going to. 

Until…

„You really should come.“

I thought I was the last person in the building, with all of them already gone. I was just collecting my stuff, ready to go home too, when Jake’s voice right behind my back made me jump.

„Jesus fuck! Alright. Convince me.“ I didn’t want him to.

But he did. „Ok, c’mon.“ He grabbed my hand and dragged me back to the now empty conference room, because as it turned out, we weren’t completely alone. One of the assistants just arrived to replenish the fridge. Once inside, he pinned me against the wall, grabbed my chin and skillfully proceeded to convince me with his tongue inside my mouth. And so we were mixing again! Oh well. 

„Ok, ok, I shall come,“ I said, breathless, when he finally released me. As I said, he had been hiding behind his shades most of the afternoon, so looking right into his eyes now was akin to electric shocks. Sometimes I really hate them, you know. 

„Good.“ He closed the gap between us once again and brushed his lips against mine, but much more gently this time.

No! Not good! This was exactly why I did NOT want to go! Oh well…

My initial plan was to go dressed as Mata Hari, because sometimes I enjoy being overly melodramatic AND I prefer to slut with class. I was also quite certain Josh would approve of the abundance of sparkly trinkets while Jake might appreciate the fact that they wouldn’t really cover much. 

The fuckers had other plans. Not only did Josh send a car for me, obviously to prevent me from leaving early as I had threatened to do, but the driver also handed me a box with another costume. Inside it was a rather hideous violet coverall, not much different from those Josh himself was sometimes wearing, and a pair of steampunk welding goggles. The fuck… I snatched my phone and quickly typed a message. 

S.: NO WAY!

Baggins: on comeon, its gonna be fun. and gregory is instructed to keep waiting until you get dressed. 

S: Well, in that case he’s gonna spend the night, because I’m not going anywhere wearing that.

Baggins: yes, you are. or else…

It was followed by a picture of him holding a huge hammer and standing menacingly next to a chair, to which he tied Jake’s Beloved. 

Ok, I have to admit: He made me laugh. But I wasn’t doing it. Having seen my vulnerable side made them bolder, but I’m no lily-of-the-valley. This blood red rose has thorns. While my therapist would tell you that it’s his fault, I see no fault in that. 

As if Josh was distance-reading my mind, the pic was quickly followed by another message. 

Baggins: im serious!

Yeah, he wasn’t, but I got the point. They’d do some other stupid shit eventually. To make me pay. So, 45 minutes later we arrived at the huge house which the guys were renting for the party. Previously notified by Gregory, Josh was already waiting at the door, wearing a red hawaiian shirt and a clown nose. 

“Sparrow! My dearest!” He greeted me dramatically with his arms outstretched. “You look absolutely fabulous…but where are your goggles? You totally need those!” he added after he smooched both sides of my face. The man was already high as a kite and the mixture of weed and tequila attacked my nostrils with brutal force. I wasn’t planning on drinking or smoking anything for my own sake, which only meant that they would appear even more insufferable than they usually do. It’s almost impossible to interact with inebriated Kiszkas while sober. I never understood how Danny could cope. Well, probably because he usually drank just as much. 

I took those goggles with me, just in case, but mainly to tell him that “I’m not putting those on my face, Josh!” 

“Oh no no no, these go on top of your beautiful head, darling.” He took them from me and carefully put them on. I secretly mourned the beautiful art deco headdress I left at home. Eyes or hair, I still looked like a fucking mechanic. 

“Hmmm, yes! Almost perfect. All you need is…” Without finishing the sentence, he started fumbling in his pocket until he pulled out a pink lipstick and smeared some on the top of my nose. I didn’t ask… Exasperated, I just rolled my eyes, as I was glad he finally ushered me inside because my teeth started to chatter. He didn’t even flinch, probably already too drunk to realize it was actually fucking cold outside. 

“So what’s this shit? You dressed as Sam this year? Oh-em-gee, don’t tell me I’m supposed to be you?!” I exclaimed, tugging at the hideous coverall. He just chuckled, snaked his arm around my shoulder and led me into a large living space already full of people whom I didn’t know and didn’t expect. Not your usual rock&roll party.   

“Oh no no no, nothing like that, darling. Ok, let me… where the hell is Jake…”

Yeah, speak of the devil, he just emerged from the adjoined kitchen, deep in conversation with some old geezer dressed as Charlie Chaplin. Seriously, these guys are unbelievable. You’d expect some hot bitches here. Instead, I ended up looking like Rosie the Riveter, in a room full of country crooners. However, my eyebrows shot up at the sight of Jake in an aviator jacket and a fedora hat. “Since when is your brother a fan of Indiana Jones?” Josh snickered again. I was getting really annoyed. The truth is, Indiana Jones was hardly ever completely bare chested and I don’t think his accessories ever included a red party balloon. Meanwhile, Jake spotted us and beelined towards us. He tried to appear serious, but couldn’t really fight off the cheeky smile that was creeping across his face. As he got closer, I could see that the tip of his nose was painted black. I smelled a rat. 

“You look wonderful, Bebe.” He gave me a toothy smile and tipped his head. 

“No, I don’t and you know it. I’m still waiting for an explanation, as your goofy brother refused to give me any. Why are we looking like…”. At that moment, I spotted Sam and Daniel, who looked like Belmondo in his prime except for the enormous, ginger, fake walrus mustache under his prominent nose.

However, my mouth fell open at the sight of Sam, sporting a red turtleneck, fairy wings between his shoulder blades and HUGE, yellow ski goggles, except – unlike me and mine – he really had them on. He looked like… and then it dawned on me… 

Jumping from behind Daniel, he also moved our way to greet me properly. He was literally buzzing. 

… and I ended up on the floor laughing my ass off. Not a rat. Fucking chipmunks! “Oh my god! We are! Oh god, this is fucking hilarious!” I couldn’t stop laughing, while pointing a finger at the two idiots grinning at me from above. “You’ve no idea how fucking accurate this is!” I howled while Jake took a swig of helium from the balloon he was holding. 

“Oh yes, we do!” he squeaked and held a hand for me to pull me back up. I landed right into his arms and collided with him, still wheezing, but as soon as I felt his heart beating against my boobs, the amusement was quickly replaced by another feeling – one which I wasn’t really keen on entertaining. 

I broke the embrace abruptly to say hi to the other two. 

I said I wouldn’t drink, but I really, really needed some whisky real quick. So, with Josh leading the way, we all moved our asses to the kitchen, where I could inquire a bit more about their real intentions. 

“OK baby, I admit that this is both funny and cute, but what exactly is that alleged plan of yours? Unless you enticed me here to fight against a fat tabby cat. I admit Mel looks like one, but… ” 

“We got a photobooth here, darling.” Josh explained, as if that was any explanation at all. He leaned playfully over the counter until he was mere inches away from my face and whispered: “We’re too cute. I think we need a group photo. You can even make a tiktok if you want!”

“And how is that supposed to make things better?” 

Leaning even further forward – literally splattering himself across the counter – he kissed and patted my head, making me feel like a dimwit for even asking. “Well, first, it will show that we’re not fighting. And second, it will make it pretty obvious that we do like you.” 

I let out an exasperated sigh. “Please don’t make me repeat my question.” 

The whisky was doing hardly anything for me. I needed more buzz. I raised my glass suggestively and Jake quickly got a grasp. Standing right next to me, he reached out for the bottle that stood on the counter to Josh’s right. While his pendants swung right in front of my eyes, there was that feeling again…oh dammit! Seemingly oblivious to my internal struggle, he answered while refilling my glass. 

“It’s not supposed to make things better for us, it should make things better for you.” 

Poor little chipmunks. So pretty and SO naive…More fuel to the fire. And I was sure Melissa was going to be absolutely delighted. But, against my better judgment, I let my bitchy, vengeful me take over my professional side momentarily and imagined the backlash with glee. It had a good potential to become viral and the idea filled me with malicious joy… 

Sam brought me back from my reverie… “Can you punks please hurry? I’ll need to change soon!”

“What is he changing into?” I asked Jake.

“Jesus,” he rolled his eyes. “Mary Magdalene will arrive at ten.”

The photo session turned out to be quite fun. True, it was like high school all over again, but this time with the people that I actually liked. And being too old to find the costumes cringy, we simply just enjoyed the moment. When Daniel shouted “cheese”, we all howled with laughter. Yeah, it was cool. Perhaps too cool. I was getting too drawn to them again. 

So, when it was over, I was ready to leave. When I found Josh in the kitchen to say bye, I tried to blame it on the lack of debauchery. Secretly, I was glad there was none. 

“Ok, Josh, thank you. Those photos will be perfect and it was fun and all, but you promised me some shameless shit, and all I’m getting is a kids' theme party, so unless you give me something to stay, I’m leaving.”

I expected him to be disappointed. I did not expect him to be able to do something about it. Actually, he wasn’t sad at all. There was this strange gleam in his eyes that I knew too well. 

“I was getting worried you’d never mention it. Here.” Reaching inside the same pocket in which he was hiding the lipstick, he pulled out a small, rounded remote and handed it to me. 

“What is that?”

“Just try it.” There was a sultry undertone in his voice all of the sudden, which got me intrigued. I pressed the biggest of the three buttons and watched how his lips parted just a tiny bit. Astonished, I watched his chest rise and fall as he kept looking at me intently. Oh god… Away from the music, I could hear something buzzing, although it was barely noticeable. My own eyes widened in realization. 

I pressed another button to increase the intensity and watched him squeeze his eyes shut and bite his lip to keep himself quiet, because we weren’t completely alone. What a sight. To help you imagine the whole picture, he still had the clown – I mean Dale’s – nose on. I took a step closer to whisper in his ear.

“You’re wicked, Joshua!”

Yeah…I stayed. 

“And it’s all for you…” I was sure he meant to sing it, but it came out as a strangled groan. I switched it off and took a step back, pondering over the power that I literally held in my hand.

Watching me examining the little pebble-like thing, he seemed to read my mind once again. “It’s your toy for the evening. But only if you stay, of course. It doesn’t really work long-distance.”

Can you blame me? 

I used it several times during the evening. It was fun watching him squirm during the most inconvenient moments. He even cursed me a few times, but I didn’t make the rules. It was his game and I just played it like a good girl. 

Lol, no. Not good at all. 

I must admit that despite my expectations, I was really having a good time. Sometime around midnight, Sam started absolving everyone from their sins, the Charlie Chaplin guy threw up in the ice bucket, Jake took off his aviator jacket and started jumping around the room while shouting “much better” over and over again, and unsurprisingly, Daniel really knows how to play the bongos. The rest is a blur, but nice. A few dances, a few stolen kisses from both of them, some touching…

Totally innocent, I swear. 

To tell the truth, I could feel my previous resolve crumbling with each new sip of the fiery golden liquid, and judging by how eager the two of them were to keep replenishing my glass, I think it was their mutual goal to keep me there. 

The huge main room got gradually quieter as the night grew thin, until it was just the three of us chilling on the huge couch at three-ish in the morning. Don’t ask me how that happened, because I’ve no idea. Everyone else had either gone back home or disappeared upstairs. I could feel the fatigue slowly taking over my body. I wasn’t exactly sleepy, I just felt like a rag doll. I should have been back home in my bed already, but I simply didn’t want it to end just yet. The place was now illuminated only by string lights, which only added to the tranquil atmosphere. Really festive too, almost christmasy. 

I closed my eyes for a sec, relishing in the moment of peace. My head was spinning just a bit after everything I had drunk that night (sometimes during the night, I switched to martinis), but it only added to the feeling. No one had ever done anything like that for me. 

“This is nice…”

‘This is nice’? OMG, stfu, bitch! This is not a tea party. 

But it WAS, even though neither of us could deny that there was a shitload of underlying tension in the air that made my skin prickle despite the serenity of the moment. Even that was nice. And I had missed it. 

“We were wondering…” 

“Which one of us is better?”

I slowly turned my head to the right to see Jake’s tilted profile. I expected him to continue and to kindly enlighten me what the hell they were wondering, but he kept staring at the ceiling as if he was looking out for God to materialize there.

“Uh huh, and what were you wondering, dear?”

Oh shit…

I took a deep breath first. “That’s almost impossible to tell, Jake. You’re different, each in its own specific way.”

“You sound like a kindergarten teacher.”

“Yeah, I guess, but it’s true.”

And it was. Jake seemed to have a degree in the she-comes-first studies, and by that I don’t mean just cumming. He wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without knowing that he absolutely aced it. Sometimes it turned into a game of dominance, but it almost always ended the same way. He can call you a “cock slut” or worse as part of the game, but you always know you’re being cherished. Almost as if he…no.

I think that deep down, he was a hopeless romantic. 

And Josh? He kept surprising me every day and ALWAYS made sure I was absolutely ok with everything he did, or wanted me to do. I never felt more safe in my whole life. It wasn’t always what I wanted, because I like surprises, but I knew it would make him feel bad. After a while I even realized that I needed it, which frightened me a bit.

Well, thinking about it, they actually had one thing in common. 

See, I was used to taking the things I wanted because no one ever gave me anything and I stopped expecting it a long time ago. And I just couldn’t stop thinking about all the things they had done for me recently, even though they absolutely didn’t have to. 

It made me feel things that I absolutely didn’t want to feel.

And yet it was nice…

“You know Jake, you both excel in one thing, and yet it somehow can’t be measured. Or compared.” 

“Sounds like a fucking oxymoron to me.” 

“Ok, lemme show you.”

I fumbled in my pocket for a few secs until I managed to press the right button without them knowing (ok, ok, without one of them knowing) what I was trying to do. 

The feeble buzzing sound echoed in the silence of the room – followed by a gasp on my left – and as expected, Josh automatically snuggled closer and started nuzzling my neck. 

“See?” I smiled wickedly and increased the intensity again. Josh moaned and his hand slid down to my left breast, kneading it gently. Like a good boy. Always giving back. 

“You didn’t!” Jake straightened up to get a better view of his twin.

“I absolutely did,” the said twin breathed out against my skin, giving me goosebumps.

“The whole night?”

“Focus Jake, not the point…”

“Ok, so what’s your point?”

I tilted my head a bit more to allow Josh a better access and I also cupped his growing bulge. He moaned and snuggled even closer. I turned my eyes on his brother. “What do you wanna do now, Jake?”

“Kill him, actually.” 

Josh chuckled and proceeded to attack my earlobe, nibbling at it and breathing in my ear sultrily. I kept my eyes on Jake the whole time. 

“And apart from that?” 

He moved closer without breaking eye contact and kissed me softly. I parted my lips to allow him to deepen it, but he didn’t. Just a few more teasing pecks before he whispered: “Depends on what you want?”

“Yeah, exactly,” I whispered back. “That is the point.” I had been distant since the end of the tour, and they noticed. And while they kept inquiring and teasing and flirting, they never said that they wanted anything from me. I let go of Josh completely and straightened up a bit. And I also broke the mood completely. 

“This. I want this. I really do. I missed it so much. But…the job…”

“That’s ok.”

“Are you sleepy, sparrow? We can just go to bed. I mean, there’s a separate room just for you.” Josh asked in a low voice while playing with a strand of my hair, before he stroked it in earnest. Goddamit. Seriously.

“No…I haven’t been sleeping well lately,” I answered with honesty. “I mean I am kinda tired, but not really sleepy, no.” 

Yeah, that’s right. I had the opportunity to say that we should call it a night, and I should have done that. But I didn’t want to. And they caught that. I could see them having that spooky, silent eye-to-eye dialogue again, and after a while, Josh continued. 

“You need to rest, you know. And you also told me what helps you the most. Didn’t she tell you as well, Jake?”

“Indeed, she did.”

Gulp…

“The job is fine. You’re doing a great job, actually. And Mel knows it too well. But you've been a bit stressed lately. May I?” Josh pulled at the zipper tap teasingly, just an inch, and I whimpered and nodded. Yeah… So he opened the zipper completely all the way down, with an agonizingly slow pull. 

“No bra…that’s not surprising.”

“But no panties either, Bebe? Tsk, tsk…”

I was completely sandwiched between them and once again it was making me feel dizzy. As I tilted my head back, they both attached themselves to my neck on each side. It was overwhelming in the best way possible, and a loud moan escaped my mouth and the fact that we weren’t really ‘somewhere private’ and anyone could walk in on us made it even more exhilarating. That’s what I had been dreaming of. When I actually got some sleep, that is. 

I expected them to tell me to undress, but they had other selfless plans. Jake’s hand slid down to where there were no panties while Josh set my left boob completely free and bent down to suck on my nipple. 

“Kiss me,” I whispered to Jake and he obliged with urgency and fierceness, swallowing my moans and biting my lip every time I had to catch a breath. 

But his attention was really somewhere else. Between my wet folds, to be more precise. He slid two fingers inside me and started working his magic, with his thumb running gentle circles around my clit. 

I kept my eyes closed and completely – selfishly – gave in to the feeling. 

I could feel Josh’s palm massaging my upper thigh. I could feel his mouth travel slowly up until he reached my jaw and as Jake finally broke the kiss, Josh swiftly took his place. 

I could feel Jake’s fingers curl up against my sensitive spot and I shivered. Lightheaded, as if I was high on oxygen, I felt like melting under their touch. Dripping on them. My breath hitched and I was barely aware of Jake whispering in my ear to let go. My back arched and my whole body convulsed when everything around Jake’s fingers exploded. I could feel them holding me. I could hear them praising me. I slept like a baby until lunch. But not in my room. And not alone. Oh well…

@thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep   @takenbythemadness   @edgingthedarkness @jazzyfigz @josh-iamyour-mama @sanguinebats @cheersdannyx2 @gvfstuddedmajesty @fleetingjake @lizzys-sunflower @hollyco @emojakekiszka @gvfmarge @Dayumclarizzel @lipstickitty @watchingover-hypegirl @clownstarr @peaceloveunitygvf @gretasfallingsky @gretnavannfleet @solanjjje @musicislove3389 @i-love-gvf @blankvz @psychedelectable

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

spider society

pairing: miles morales x gn!spidey (platonic)

WC: 3.3K

warnings: cursing and slight spoilers!

summary: a new friend is welcomed but is quick to become foe.

A/N: SPOILER WARNING FOR ATSV!!!! i wrote this in a day and on little sleep, so that will explain if this is terrible. also barely proofread so apologies for any writing errors. i did the best i could for the scene based on memory and clips from tik tok.

masterlist

earth-42

the lobby was crowded. like always. spider people here, there, everywhere. floor to ceiling as they traversed to their different destinations whether that be another dimension to fix anomalies or just the food court to get some lunch.

your headphones covered your ears to keep the loud conversations at bay as you mind your business. nothing to do, just tapping finger to finger in random patterns as you observed everyone with your background music. with your eyes landing near the entrance of the building you saw gwen and hobie, along with someone you’d never met before but excited for the new face. literally new face.

“gwen! hobie!” you shouted after pushing the bulky headphones down to your neck before rushing towards them. they waved you close to them, gwen with a friendly smile and hobie with his watchful eyes but only filled with kindness.

you stopped before the three of them and gave the two of them quick hugs before they could make any objections. attention now on the new person. his was tall and lean and looked a few years younger than you. black kid with curly hair and wandering dark eyes.

“hi, i’m y/n l/n. or spidey or spider, if you want. but best to use my name since we’re all spiders.” mouth moving on its own. “sorry. just haven’t seen a new face or person in a little bit. no offense to the peter’s,” you leaned closer to his face and he leaned away slightly from the intrusion, “but there are too many of him. and a lot of them sound closely the same.”

“don’t let peter hear that.” gwen joke. she gave a quick nudge to her quiet friend. “this is miles morales.”

“h-hi. yeah, i’m miles. nice to meet you, this place is just… wow.” head turning in all directions to get the full scope.

“yeah, kinda crazy. but miguel worked hard to make all this happen for us. kinda nice to physically see you're not alone in the fight.”

“speaking of-“ gwen got cut off by miles glitching out and dropping to the floor in pain. you knelt with him and touched his shoulder. “he doesn’t have a watch?” frantic as you check his wrist for the bulky device but not finding it. gwen bit her lip but avoided eye contact and looked at someone behind you.

“here,” you heard the motherly voice of jessica drew, “day pass.” and saw how miles caught the flimsy band before slipping it on.

“why don’t we get some food?” trying to break the sudden tension jessica brought with her. but before anyone could agree or disagree with your idea, she spoke up. “actually the three…” her eyes lingered on you and the touch of your hand to miles’s shoulder, “the four of you need to see miguel. it’s urgent.”

you didn’t like that. you don’t like it whenever miguel calls for you and it’s not for a job. you tried making an excuse, “actually, i should get-“ “don’t lie your way out, y/n. just follow the rules.” jessica commanded.

she started to walk away, then gwen and hobie followed after her. “hey,” miles tried to make eye contact. you felt like shrinking into yourself. “don’t worry. i’m sure it’ll be fine.”

you knew it wasn’t but didn’t bother. a weary smile, “why don’t we stop by the food court?” fingers circling his wrist as you tugged him along. “miguel loves the empanadas and it wouldn’t hurt to keep him on the nice side.” miles happily agreed.

-

the walk to miguel’s ‘office’ was always dark and quiet. too quiet, the sound of just your breathing and footsteps sounding like blaring sirens that bounced off the walls. you hated the walk. instinctively you wore your headphones over your ears and played something, but at a low volume to still hear miles and hobie converse. gwen led your group, her back the only thing you saw as she didn’t bother with facing any of you. she felt closed off.

you eyed hobie as he nicked bits and pieces from walls, tables, and junk. you didn’t stop him like miles was trying, just watching with pure curiosity, wondering what he was up to. always doing something to rebel.

miles turned to you and you saw his mouth moving, but only faintly heard his words. pausing the music and moving the device back to your neck you asked him to repeat his sentence.

“so, how does one get recruited for this spider society?” he held the to-go box in both hands. his thumbs rubbing at the top in a nervous sort of gesture.

“i- i don’t think you’d like it very much.” not wanting miles to be stuck like the rest of you. “catching anomalies is very annoying. and very busy. wouldn’t you like to stay in your dimension? with your friends and family?” voice going soft and melancholy. fingers toying with the device at your wrist.

you didn’t notice how miles eyes softened from your tone or how gwen looked fully over her shoulder towards you, knowing the true meaning of your words. and hobie continued to knick bits.

“well…” miles tried to restart the conversation, “i mean. at least with the watch, i can visit my friends. i can hang out with you more.” a playful nudge to your arm pulled a smile. a new friend, you liked the thought.

“why not just make your own watch?” hobie commented. he broke something off a defective project and stuffed it into his vest pocket. “you look smart enough to build from scraps.” he kicked his thick boots at objects in his path.

“i wanna do this by the rules. by the books.” he shrugged his shoulders. face looking just a bit glum.

“are either of your parents' cops?” a simple question you posed.

he looked confused but still answered, “my dad. gonna be captain soon.” he smiled down at the ground. he must be very proud of his family.

now you nudge his shoulder, “well, i bet your dad is proud of you. knowing or not knowing. but sometimes, you shouldn’t play by the book.” a hushed whisper.

“aye, y/n!” hobie slapped his hands on your shoulders, “that’s what i like to hear! screw the system. do what you need to do, my guy.”

“guys!” gwen raised her voice, “please can we just-“ she trailed her sentence off with a tilt of her head. the four of you were getting closer.

“miles, just remember,” hobie leaned towards miles, “don’t join the establishment until you know what you’re fighting for.”

the hallway widened out and when you looked up, miguel had his back turned as he stood on his platform. miles looked to gwen and she held a hand up, “yeah. i know, but it’s his thing. so just…” and she trailed off again.

gwen and miles walked further into the light as you and hobie stayed near the dark. hobie situated himself along the wall, fingers playing with whatever he got his hands on. you leaned beside him with your arms crossed over your chest and hip cocked. just from this show alone, you know miles is in for a miguel tantrum.

“how’s it been?” eyes on hobie, “um… okay.” you picked at the nylon of your suit, “sometimes if i’m bored, i go to other places. they let me as long as i don’t cause trouble. sorry i haven’t visited recently.” a twist to your lips.

hobie waved you off, “ain’t a problem. pop by whenever. gwendys around most times.”

your heads turned when miguel raised his voice and threw the food box to the ground. you pushed away from the wall and walked closer to the light.

“what’d i do?” “miguel. it’s not his fault.” miles and gwen’s voices mixed. you heard a thwip and turned to see hobie stealing the free food.

“he’s screwed everything up! just like doctor strange and that little nerd from earth-1999999.” miguel pinched his nose bridge.

“i visited there once. interesting place.” miles seemed to be the only one intrigued by your story. “they have this group called the avengers.” eyes widening at the word.

“are they like a band?” miles cocked his head. “no earth’s mightiest-“

“who the hell cares!”

you flinched at the boom of miguel’s voice and slinked back into the dark shadows by hobie. automatically he threw an arm over your shoulder and pulled you to his side.

“someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” he muttered. you wanted to comment but felt if you even made a peep miguel would be on your ass. hobie, always the kind friend, noticed your silence and slipped your headphones back on. you didn��t need music at the moment just something to muffle the noise.

eyes watched how miguel and miles spoke. their bodies tense, miguel using his looming height advantage to have more authority. mile's lanky arms fling about and look from gwen to miguel. with your headphones, you couldn’t hear, but you saw how miles turned around and his face was graced with a smile as he ran to someone.

“oh great. humbling reality spider-man has joined.” hobie’s words muffled before you made your ears free again.

you saw peter parker, peter b parker, as he liked to be called. he and miles shared a hug and you started to look at the walls and ceilings.

“why do you have a baby carrier?” miles pointed at the carrier peter always wore.

“mayday!” you squeal when you see her crawling your way. the two of you were well acquainted since you’ll babysit for peter and mj on short notice. or whenever really, they were such a kind family.

the little bundle of joy yipped when you crouched to her level and pulled her to your chest. her tiny hands setting on your shoulders as her blue and green eyes darted over your face. a gloved hand smoothed some of her flyaways and wind-swept hair.

“you have a baby!” you heard miles. “i have a baby! yeah, it’s crazy kid.” peter sighed.

“how’s my favorite web crawler? huh? causing trouble for your dad?” cooing in a baby voice. pretending she could understand every word and would reply in detail about the chaos she brings. you pinched at her chubby cheeks.

“can we get back to business? serious business?” miguel always brings the mood down.

“you are the only serious spider person. we’re supposed to be funny. throwing quips as we punch bad guys.” peter grumbled and made a mocking tone of miguel. he looked about ready to send everyone away.

“lyla, do the thing.” the computer teased miguel for a moment before doing the thing he asked. she pulled up the web of life and destiny.

“it’s called something very scientific, but i like to just call it the spider web. short and simple.” a side comment to miles. “cool.”

“these are canon events. things that can’t change no matter what or the universe collapses.” getting bit by the spider. uncle ben dying or someone close to you. a captain saving a kid but getting killed in the process.

miguel showed different versions of spider-man in those different scenarios. he specifically showed the spiders mourning the death of captain stacy.

you pressed mayday’s head into your shoulder, not wanting her to see this. you turned to gwen and saw her poker face, but you could see the emotion swimming in her irises. she hadn’t been back to her dimension in a while, always crashing in different spots.

“miles,” you looked away as you bounced the child, “what you did back in pavitr’s reality, it broke canon. that’s what caused the black hole and hopefully, we can stop it. but it doesn’t always happen.”

you felt eyes on you. you didn’t like the sudden attention. but you were starting to get why jessica brought you here. why miguel pointed a finger at you to miles confusion. he wanted you to be on his side.

“y/n… do you want to tell miles what happened?” you ignored him. playing with mayday, knuckles caressing her rosy cheeks. “y/n… the kid needs to understand the importance.” you sighed and pressed a kiss to mayday’s temple.

“understand what?” miles walked closer to you. “y/n? what happened?”

you licked your lips. “my reality is gone. i… i got to love my gwen stacy. i didn’t lose any family or a captain who i was bickering friends with. i- i got to have it all. i ‘broke’ canon, but i don’t believe that crap.”

“y/n…” miguel had a warning tone.

“everything was wonderful. not once after each event happened a giant hole formed until one day it just did. it was just a normal day. gwen and i were having a date at this ice cream shop she loved, she looked so pretty. she always did. we were walking towards the met since she kept saying we needed to visit more.”

you raised mayday above you and flashed a toothy smile. she giggled and you pulled her close to rub noses. a sigh as you continue your story.

“it- it just happened out of nowhere. i can’t even place what the cause would have been. one minute it’s a normal day and then next a black hole a few blocks away which then changed into… reality being eaten away.”

you didn’t notice the tears falling until little hands touched your cheeks. mayday stared and baby babbled. a hand to your shoulder, peter giving a pitying look. you handed his daughter back to him and wiped your tears. done with talking, but miguel finished the story.

“they already had a watch and when i noticed what was happening and the rate it was destroying everything… i managed to pull them out in time. they are the last remnants of their home reality.”

it was quiet. no one was speaking and it still felt too loud.

“but… what’s this got to do with me?” happy that miles pulled the attention back to him.

“you are the first anomaly.” miguel voiced. “your spider bite wasn’t from your dimension, you already had a spider-man. and yet somehow… everything is fine.” he seemed pissed at the simple fact.

“miles in two days your dad is gonna become captain.” gwen spoke. her tone seeping in sorrow.

miles looked around. his face scrunched in confusion and growing anger. then he did another look at the images of different peters with captain stacy. his face was dropping.

“your- you're saying i just have to let my dad die? to- to avoid reality crashing? cause it’s a- a canon event?”

“yes,” miguel replied as if that didn’t sound crazy.

miles turned to gwen, “your dad. he’s a captain right?” she nodded. “you’re just, what? just gonna let him die?” her eyes fell to the floor.

“we have to do things to keep reality stable. it’s not always pretty, but it comes with the cost of being spider-man. you can’t have both.”

“i can! i know i can! i can be spider-man and miles!”

your senses went off just a bit and you took account of all the people starting to crowd the room. this felt wrong. it felt like a trap, and for once you're the bad guys. peter and gwen tried to calm miles down, he was understandably upset at everyone shouting orders at him. you wanted to pull miles away and hide the both of you from miguel and the others. this wasn’t right.

“this will hold you for a few days.” and miguel dropped one of his devices to the floor that changed to a red-screened cage.

“miles!” you rushed to the holoprojection and started to bang your fist along with miles. gwen and peter were bickering with miguel. and hobie popped up beside you with his palms facing miles with a knowing smile.

hobie pulled you away when you started to see the electricity start to spark. then suddenly there was a loud boom and explosion of air. everyone was swept off their feet. hobie was able to keep you upright.

miles stood free and looked at his palms as he panted. he quickly looked your way and you only could say, “run.” and he took off.

“no!” miguel roared.

he started to chase after him, but you shot a web to his feet to slow him down. his crazed eyes widened at your disobedience. “you have no idea what you’ve done.” he extended the red blades from his arms, cutting himself free and rushing out of the room with others following.

your chest was panting with fear and worry. you looked to hobie for help, but he stood in a portal and threw his watch away. “for the record i quit.” and he was gone in the blink of an eye.

you were the only one on miles’s side.

you shot web after web at different spider people. at their feet, wrist, faces, anything to slow them down and give miles enough time to form a plan and execute it. you tried to catch up to him, but a few people gave you a taste of your own medicine and fought you.

you were being held down by one of the many peter parker variants, “stay out of our way!” he shouted as he webbed you uptight. you struggled against the hold but it was no use. so you were left alone once the tower was emptied, you just hoped miles was okay.

-

you were sure how long you’ve been webbed up. your body started to get that prickly feeling when it wasn’t getting proper blood flow through the body. wiggling your body in the hold, hoping to loosen it, a voice called out.

“y/n?” eyes connected with miles who was hanging upside down on a web. one side of his suit was ripped, but he looked safe.

“oh thank goodness. i tried to catch up, but as you can see, i’ve been webbed.”

miles looked around. when he eyed you again he looked hesitant to free you, you understood. some of his friends that he’s known longer turned on him behind his back. but you knew he was a different case, miguel was just using this canon logic as a cover.

“go miles. i don’t want to keep you from getting home.” a reassuring smile to his tired eyes. but he didn’t leave, he started to pull at the webbing and helped you free.

“let’s go.” he led you to the go-home machine. he was able to go invisible as he worked the computers so you stayed on the ceiling in the dark shadows.

when the machine was up and running he hopped in and called your name. you looked to margo, spider byte, who was busy with lyla as the two tried to stop the stitching process. you dived in and stood beside him, the two of you getting anxious the longer it was taking.

“stop the machine!” miguel was charging forward. you knew margo shouted a comment back without hearing her.

the machine was getting closer, it was about eighty percent closed. you thought you were in the clear, but miguel sunk his blood-red claws into the threading and started to rip at it. you pushed miles behind you, “just let us go, miguel!”

“i can’t do that, y/n! why can’t you understand i’m doing this for everyone’s safety!” he growled. the threading was holding.

“because this canon shit is a lie! if miles wasn’t supposed to be spider-man, his reality would have broken a long time ago! you’re just trying to manipulate everyone!”

your body lifted into the air. it was time to leave. and just before you were gone, you did one more reckless thing. you tore the watch off your wrist and threw it to the ground making it shatter. you stared directly into miguel’s burning eyes.

“i quit.”

-

a/n2: i actually wrote a little more after this part, but it just didnt end off well. i wrote this from like the hours of 8pm to 6am (i did sleep a little in between dont worry)

[trekkie-polls]

I’m a big fan of Prodigy and heartily recommend it! It’s on Netflix now.

I think in many ways it’s the best Star Trek continuation of the five newest Star Trek shows. It’s faithful to original characters, but introduces mostly new characters, aliens, & plots. Prodigy has more of an episodic/unrushed feeling, but still does continuity well. Somehow the show takes itself seriously & doesn’t at all take itself seriously. The characters are fun but also well developed and grow over time…

Anyway I’m almost done with the new episodes and will start releasing polls about them soon. I’m going to do my best to avoid plot spoilers. If you’re worried you can always block “prodigy season 2” & “prodigy spoilers”.

[fyodoro]

𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧’ 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧’ - 𝐃𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐧𝐠

-> Dan Heng comforting his quiet s/o after they have a nightmare (req by @minimallyminnie)

-> I wanted to write this in a different way from all my other fics. I feel like most nightmare comfort fics have rose tinted lenses over them, so I wanted to take a different approach while also keeping a comfort factor.

Cw) nightmares (obv), implied/hinted ptsd, misunderstandings, nightmare remains vague so no spoilers here, cheating accusations, eventual comfort i swear (sorry minnie)

Dan Heng wouldn't say he sleeps good per say, but he wouldn't say he slept horribly either. Perhaps if he wasn't so alert in his sleep, he'd be able to wake up the next morning and tell March "I slept great."

But that wasn't to say he wanted to rid of that sense of alertness, not at all. In fact, in times like these, he was ever so grateful for training himself the way he has.

You stirred ever so slightly in your sleep. It was brief and quiet, but not to Dan Heng. He always focussed on your movements when you were near. From your body language, to the way you faintly tilted your head when something piqued your interest.

With all the attention Dan Heng given you, it was safe to say he had you memorized.

And the way you were currently stirring in the midst of your slumber was out of character.

It was brief at first, nothing that concerned the young man too much. But his concern grew just as gradual as your distressing movements.

What started as a light shake of the head soon turned into your body violently shaking as you clutched your pillow for dear life. Dan Heng watched over your sleeping frame cautiously, refraining from causing you any more panic incase you were to wake up.

It didn't take a genius to realize you were having a nightmare.

Soft cries emitted from your lips, almost inaudible. But to Dan Heng, they were as loud as the Astral Express making the jump.

He wanted to wake you up, he really did.

But he was aware of the risks of waking someone up from a nightmare, especially someone with your condition. It could be jarring, even making the episode worse in some cases.

He knew it was best to let you wake up on your own, but it didn't stop the way his heart clenched each time you hugged your pillow tighter than before.

“Dan Heng…”

His ears perked up at the sound of his name, were you… dreaming about him? No, it wasn’t a dream. It was a nightmare, that was made clear since his senses heightened.

But why would you be calling his name out in the midst of a nightmare?

“Dan Heng!” You jolted up, eyes wide and full of terror. You were panting heavily, as if you had just ran a marathon.

Dan Heng stayed near, examining your features just as he did many times before. He wanted to hold you, comfort you, tell you everything was going to be okay.

But he couldn’t.

If you had been having a nightmare about him, wouldn’t that be the last thing you wanted? The way you shook and avoided his gaze made him believe that was the case.

“I’m… I’m so sorry.” Dan Heng muttered under his breath. He knew deep down he didn’t do anything wrong, but he still felt the need to apologize for whatever his actions caused in your sleeping mind.

You didn’t respond. You were no longer panting however, rather, shaking anxiously. A chill ran up your spine.

It was a warm night.

“You- what did you—“ Your eyebrows furrowed, staring into the dimly lit void in front of you. “You didn’t… right? You couldn’t have…” Ah

Was he sure this wasn’t his own nightmare now?

“I was going to tell you… one day… I can’t run from it, can I?” His voice held hostility. Not to you, but rather, himself. He knew he would have to tell you his origins one day. But he never expected your own consciousness to tell you first.

“You were going to tell me what? That you were cheating on me?” Your voice cracked, refusing to believe that it wasn’t just a nightmare.

“What…?”

“Yeah, you can’t run from that, can you.”

“(Name) wait, you’ve got the wrong idea. I thought you were referring to something else.” He let go if his self restraint and finally reached out for you, only for you to swat his hand away.

“The wrong idea? What else could I be referring to!” You shouted.

“My past!” He yelled.

Dan Heng never yelled.

You went quiet, staring at him in shock.

It wasn’t like you were upset he yelled. More like… shocked. The guilt of your accusations hit you like a brick. But both of your reactions were justifiable to some extent. After all, you just woke up from a nightmare where Dan Heng cheated on you, just to hear him say it was true. On the other hand, he believed you were referring to something else entirely.

It was a confusing situation.

“I apologize- I didn’t mean to raise my voice like that.” He softened his voice, giving you a loving gaze you had almost forgotten about.

“I’m sorry too… I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that.”

You two sat in silence for a moment, a comfortable silence.

[ta5tier]

isat thoughts, go

[this ask is actually an excuse to ramble about whatever thing you can't get someone else to prompt you to ramble about]

i just woke up so this probably wont be too coherent but here we go!

I, like many, discovered ISAT through @jelloapocalypse’s fantastic video on the game, and by that I mean I watched the first 5 minutes of the video and immediately stopped and played the game myself.

I already liked time loops as a literary device, especially in games (outer wilds rocks, 12 minutes is interesting despite the general quality, etc) but ISAT managed to get me interested in the story and its characters before even introducing time loops as a mechanic. (Y’ALL I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR ISABEAU TO JUST COME OUT SWINGING LIKE THAT! I clocked that motherfucker before the gang even left dormont, he isnt smooth.)

ANYWAY besides the great character writing, ISAT also managed to nail its genre parody right off the bat, the literal RPS combat is so funny, Mirabelle gives off such RPG protagonist vibes, and its a neat take on the genre to center the narrative around the “edgy”rogue (HA Scissors pun). Along with the fact that Siffrin is absolutely the right amount of mentally unstable, you have all the perfect ingredients for great genre deconstruction.

Spoilers Under the Cut So be WARNED

There are tons of people talking about the story beats further so i’m not gonna spend more time here reinventing the wheel, but something I will talk about is how the game leverages ludonarrative assonance, I.e. how the game reflects the experience of the player as a part of the story.

In the case of ISAT, this manifests as the growing boredom both the player and Siffrin experience as they continue through the loops. On my first few loops I took care to avoid skipping dialogue and made sure my party was leveled up enough to succeed at any of the fights they faced. I explored thoroughly and enjoyed the process of doing so and I only reset when the game asked it of me.

But as the game continued I found myself zoning out of more and more dialogue, skipping more and more fights, and resetting whenever it would save me time. And Siffrin was with me all the way through all of it, his internal monologue growing increasingly disinterested with the affairs of his party members and the dangers they were in.

Ironically, in a game so outside my lived experience I found myself mentally aligned with Siffrin in a way that's frankly a little concerning. (im ok im not in a time loop lol)

The magic of ISAT for me was in that alignment, of feeling a shared purpose with a character, and in the breaking of that alignment in the games later acts. One of my favorite moments in any story is when I realize I can no longer fully root for the main character. Siffrin's last loop was that moment for me and I loved it. Siffrin's final trek through the House is so awful to watch but also represents the logical conclusion of his decent. The witty commentary is gone, his family is gone, the muscle memory that he and I shared in navigating the house is no longer reliable. Its all no longer necessary.

In Siffrin's mind, whats left of them isn't worth saving. And then finally, agonizingly, they are saved. Despite his best efforts to self destruct, his family come for him and they're mad and they're scared but they do it anyway, even when the world is ending around them.

Anyway yeah i love this game so much Siffrin is Stars' most mentally unwell soldier and i love them and their stupid family so much.

[verrixstudios]

Guys omg I changed my mind give me your tribe head canons to doodle I’ve been spending more time on tumblr and seeing some headcanons already and they look so cool omgg

I don’t know how many I’ll do or how often I’ll do them, but I’m really curious about all the headcanons you guys have, especially when it comes to the differences between tribes, individuals, families and etc.

KEEP IN MIND:

I still haven’t reached the third arc so I don’t actually know anything about the tribes in the other continent, since I do my best to avoid spoilers, I am actively reading the series and have reached the second arc but haven’t been able to read much lately since I’ve been busy and for lack of the actual books since they’re usually checked out.

Also I’m probably going to do these out of order like the oc descriptions. I also won’t be making the a consecutive series cause I like my sanity and drawing my ocs (actually now that I’m thinking about it maybe I could draw my ocs with the head cannons, we’ll see) and whether I draw them or not doesn’t necessarily mean i agree or disagree with the headcanon or anything it’s more just what i felt like drawing and what might push my ideas or practice more

TLDR: send me your headcanons (preferably in my asks so they’re all in one place) and I’ll draw or doodle them

[queenwille]

IDF: Israeli Defense Forces

Defending themselves from what? Displaced Palestinians hiding out in buildings? The children?

Cause last I saw, Palestine weren’t the ones with white phosphorus missiles bombing Israel every other day and wiping out the population,

wait wait wait, let me start at the very beginning- your question about what does israel have to defend itself a is joke, right…? please tell me you did not come in here to waste my time without doing the bare minimum and research something. you owe me that much if you’d like me to take you seriously.

look, idk at which point did you tune into the west’s favorite reality show which is the middle east crisis, but i honestly don’t have the time nor the patience to catch you up in all of the episodes you’ve missed up until now and that’s even if we only focus on the gaza area. what can i say, some of us were just lucky enough to be born into this. others, such as yourself, have the world wide web for free, go wild.

mmm values. that’s the thing, all those spicy stories you’ve mentioned there? y’all know about them, but you people never catch up about how the IDF took them one by one to military trail for misconduct. nah, why should you care about that part? it ruins your whole immature narrative about the bad guys, huh? y’all would rather stick to the pathetic narrative where this is a fairytale where there are big bad IDF monsters and poor little princesses to save. well, sorry, but life’s more complex than that. yep, the good guys can do bad things and the bad guys can actually not be just bad. it’s called real life. not one angry anon, like yourself, has ever asked me, or any other identifying zionist, what we think about any of those morally questionable issues, y’all just keep assuming what we think and dehumanizing us, but somehow we keep being labeled as the bigots over and over again.

i’m glad you’ve mentioned those tiktok dances because those are usually soldiers who don’t even fight in combat and y’all like to attack them online so much. many of them are not even armed. you know which other soldiers were unarmed? the female soldiers murdered (16, one of them by a doctor in captivity in gaza) or taken hostage (7, one rescued, one murdered, 5 still held hostage to this day) on october 7th. shocking, i know, but not all IDF soldiers are armed. did it matter?

me signaling? do you see me giving out random twitter posts by FUCK KNOWS WHO as valid sources? no? so no, i don’t take it as a valid source. sorry, friend. and my best bud al jazeera? besides the fact that they’ve been proven and, i believe, even admitted to exaggerating with their death tolls, they’re funded by the qatari government. i’ll let you google who qatar used to house before israel —— him and who else it supports financially (spoiler: both start with H). other than that, for good measures, when i’d like to give out a source, i usually avoid using, not only israeli sources, but also jewish ones. just looking out for all of my antisemites out there. 🫡

when did i call it an accident? find me one time time i referred to a palestinian death as an accident. go on, i’ll wait. that’s right, i didn’t. there is though, a difference i make between the people massacred on october 7th and people who get killed as a result of war and y’all never seem to like that. don’t get me wrong, i find both to be horrific, but there’s a very clear difference between being gunned down, raped, abused, mutilated, tied down with cables and more to getting hurt/killed as a result of being unfortunate enough to live at an active warzone. i say this btw about israelis who, unfortunately, got killed/hurt from the missiles fired from gaza during this war as well… and soldiers. it’s just not the same, i’m sorry. what happened on october 7th was purely dystopian and the fact that so many of you keep trying to deny/ignore/justify/compare it to anything else, despite hamas (unlike the nazis) not covering even one drop of blood shed or even part of their intentions, is really baffling. even more so in the 21st century when literally everything is at the palm of your hands. it truly is amazing how much you’re willing to ignore just to feed your white savior complex by patronizing and forcing your western white ideology on terrorist organizations such as hamas.

never have i said to mind your own business. i personally believe that it’s important to be informed and get engaged outside of your very own bubble. hell, i’m a SW student who majors in community work/activism. i do have a few questions though. do you do it cause you’re entitled to? i mean, because your taxes paid for it? so like, you paid a ticket for the show and now you deserve in? like when you vote for your favorite singer on the the voice? that’s the thing, many of you come in here, wanting your slice of the matter, while thinking that reading a little on social media is enough. it’s not. be respectful.

[alteon77]

Updated Masterlist of Writing and Art

About the writer/artist: I like to write and paint. My current obsession is Sandman, but I enjoy most fantasy fandoms as well as anime (I think I’m on season seven billion of One Piece right now 🤣). I'm also weird as they come (and awkward, too), so just please ignore my oddball (coughTERRIBLEcough) sense of humor.

On a more personal note, I have PTSD and suffer from severe manic depressive episodes. Writing and art are my most familiar coping mechanisms, and I need them like I need oxygen. Seriously, there were times in my life that knowing I had to finish a story or a piece of art was the only thing stopping me from ending up dead. So, I don't take part in fandom drama. Having my peace and protecting my mental health are very big deals to me, and I won't risk those for anything if I can help it.

As for my writing, it ranges from short one-shots to ridiculously long novel series. I use third person POV (on longer series) as well as second person (on shorter things). I also try to always exclude physical descriptions when writing main character OCs and assign them nicknames to avoid using Y/N. I love to read Y/N fics, but writing them makes me feel like I'm at work. And who actually wants to ever feel like they're at work when they're engaging in a hobby? Definitely not me.

Lastly, there's usually more stuff on my AO3 page than I have listed here, because I forget to post it pretty often. Oops. I'll get around to moving it all over one day. Probably. Maybe.

Feel free to leave an ask if you want or just drop by my DMs. <3

Artwork links are at the bottom of this list, so if you're here for those, that's where they are.

Sandman 'Verse

All the Precious and Fragile Things (so easily do they break)

After banishing his lover from the Dreaming for her betrayal, Morpheus learns that she is pregnant with his child.

And that she’s been captured by a revenge-seeking Alexander Burgess.

What the both of them are unaware of is that this will set in motion a cascade of unfavorable events, causing a chain reaction that threatens the whole of existence itself.

PART I: All of This Past

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

PART II: These Tender, Loving Mercies

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

PART III: When It All Falls Down

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

PART IV: The Dark of War

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Epilogue

Sometimes He's Sweet

Morpheus hates the holidays.

As excited as she seems to experience the mortal holiday, he's… less so. Much less so. With the entire collective unconscious contained within him, this time of year can be wholly overwhelming, a miasma of too much red and green, too much worry, too much loneliness, too much excitement, too many similarly themed dreams, too many similarly themed nightmares, and far far too many holiday songs. It all bleeds out from the collective unconscious into his own mind, sticks there like weeping sap to a tree until he feels half-mad with the unrelenting presence of it, with his inability to get free from its cloying trespass upon his very being.

This is just a little sweet fluff for the holiday season. It takes place between chapters 19 and 20 of "All the Precious and Fragile Things". No spoilers here if you've read that far!

The Dog Debacle (or how best to sneak a dragon into the dreaming)

Morpheus' daughter gets a new dog.

Well..... kind of.

That Familiar Feeling of Family (or how Hob Gadling ended up as an uncle to his stranger's oftentimes feral children)

It's a pretty universally known thing that families are just strange. As Hob is quickly figuring out, however, this little fact is magnified by AT LEAST a billion when the family in question is Endless.

(A lighthearted story in which Hob Gadling finds out his stranger has married, makes friends with a homicidal maniac/ruler, and manages to become an exemplary uncle to a pack of magically mischievous children. Really, now all he has to do is convince everyone to stop calling his and Dream's weekly meetups "playdates", and then his life would be practically perfect.)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

The Maker, the Muse, and the Sundered Song

In his temple, what remains of Orpheus waits in trepidation. Something is changing. Something that he knows might alter the very fabric of the world as he understands it.

Finally freed from captivity, Calliope struggles to make any meaningful changes to the laws that saw her bound and taken in the first place. When the strange woman appears on Mount Parnassus and offers help, Calliope knows she would be a fool not to accept it. Even if she thinks that she's being lied to.

Meanwhile in the peace of the Dreaming, Morpheus grapples with guilt over his son's fate. As he basks in the love of his new children, he can't help but to regret his own failings where Orpheus is concerned.

And as for May, she's really just got a job to do. And her own traumatic issues to deal with. And if it's all hella awkward because she's having to work alongside her husband's ex-wife, she'll see it done anyway. There's even the small possibility that she might eventually admit to Calliope the truth about her identity. That is if she can ever actually work up the courage to say it aloud.

Chapter 1

Nothing in This Closet but Boots and a Boy

Morpheus is wildly protective of his daughter.

That's probably bad for the boy in said daughter's closet.

AU's and Other Stuff in the Sandman 'Verse

Of Exes, Hellhounds, and Waffle Fries

Morpheus shows up to rescue the woman he probably loves (though he won't admit it) from hellhounds and ends up getting roped into helping with her family. This is one of those extras that doesn't fit into the main story, but it's fun, so I'm posting it.

The Bizarre Breeding Habits of Anthropomorphic Personifications

It's a tale as old as time.

Two idiots fall in love. Two idiots fall out of love.

Neither one of them is expecting a baby to come along and derail their unhappily ever after.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Original Fanart

I like to play around with different styles and to try new things with my artwork. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. I'm still learning, and I am so far from being a professional that it's laughable. But I only post things that I think look decent or that I think others might enjoy.

The Lover's Argument (Morpheus x oc)

Oneiros (Morpheus in Grecian garb)

Because I could not stop for Death, she kindly stopped for me... (Regency era Dream and Death)

[halfmouse]

After having seen the Descendants movies, and having a chance to let them soak in my brain, here are some thoughts (minimal spoilers):

🟣 Good music, good choreography, cool movies, cool characters.

🔵 Carlos was adorable. Cameron Boyce did a really good job portraying this guy and I think it was interesting that Carlos was afraid of dogs at first because I can totally see Cruella DeVil justifying her - ahem - “fashion choices” to her son by convincing him that dogs will eat him. I can also see her having the additional motive of “here’s a great way to scare my kid!”

⚪️ Speaking of Cameron Boyce and Carlos DeVille, I once again think the brief tribute in Rise of Red was the right thing to do. They didn’t recast him, they didn’t say he was “on vacation” or “in college”, they had that conversation (important to the plot) around the picture, saying that a crucial decision is “what Carlos would have wanted”. Sometimes it’s best to do the Doc Hudson and Mr. Hooper thing, and this is one of those times.

🟤 I think having the villains be various flavors of abusive parents and having the VK’s react in realistic ways to that (and, because each of them has their own circumstances, it’s not all the same Abused Kid template) was a REALLY good idea. It’s a great way to introduce these topics to kids, to show that good kids sometimes don’t have good parents, and that some people need help learning how to function but once they get that help they can start to do better things for themselves and others. It also is good to show that not everyone reacts to trauma the same way, but all traumatized kids deserve help to heal.

🔴 I have so many ships.

🟣 Dizzy is adorable.

🔵 Jane is adorable.

⚪️ The hair and makeup crews really did a great job. Every single character has amazing hair and makeup.

🟤 China Anne McClain did a good job as Uma, at every point in her arc.

🟢 Dude is adorable.

🔵 I like the emphasis on choices.

🟣 I have lots of headcanons. I will share them with you sometime.

🔴 It’s cool how many nods there are to the movies these are based on.

🟢 It’s also cool that this universe is kinda its own thing.

🔵 There are a few things that I would criticize, but most of those are things that, if I did, would be major spoilers, and I’m trying to avoid those here.

🟣 One thing I think I can say is that only including Aurora’s daughter is a missed opportunity, IMO.

[rockinlibrarian]

Post-Umbrella Academy S4 Reaction Part Five, appropriately: On Love Triangles (spoilers under cut)

Man, that makes me feel compelled to add a Reaction Part to my projected six Reaction Parts, and then reorder them so Viktor's is seventh. Anyway.

So in this series of posts so far, we've had the Good, the Bad, and now we have the Incredibly Controversial. (We also had the Fandom and the Fix-it, but those didn't fit as nicely into that sentence).

I have a pretty nicely curated Tumblr dashboard. I only follow people I like, who have sensible things to say, and I try to avoid diving into tags and For Yous (which a remarkable amount of the time make no sense— when I do look at that feed, I see topics people I follow love that I have NEVER INTERACTED with. I tolerate these topics for the people I follow, why would I want to see more of those from strangers?).

Yet I have seen no middle ground on this next topic. Half my TUA mutuals are over the moon, half are positively livid.

And here am I in the middle feeling ACK.

I'm allowed to be in the middle, right?

Let’s dive into my opinions on (is this really a spoiler anymore here on Tumblr?) Five/Lila/Diego under the cut.

Yeah, it’s not my ship, and I would never have made the choice. I make no secret about my non-canon OTP, and Lila/Diego was the only CANON ship I ever found interesting enough to root for. I found Five and Lila’s best-frenemies relationship utterly delightful and I’ll miss getting to accept it as that and not the early stages of enemies-to-lovers. But from an in-story standpoint it does make perfect sense, even if it’s not a direction many viewers wanted it to go in.

Linking back to the Venn diagram I reblogged at the start of the Season 4 Discourse: “I liked it,” “It made in-universe sense,” “it made narrative sense.” Although, just to be annoying, the topic refuses to be sorted into even those categories nicely. Certainly most of us seem to disagree on which— if any of them— even apply.

Let’s take it one topic at a time. Viktor got a whole post to himself, so I need to give some attention to the other half of my favorite characters/OTP/most-commonly-POV’d babies, Five. You see, the most common complaint I hear about this plot development is that it’s totally out of character for Five. Five would never hurt Diego that way! Five is aroace! Five spent his life trying to get home to his siblings, he’d never give up and decide to stay in the subway! Since when would Five put romantic love over familial love?

I disagree. Maybe I’m wrong— many of the people I’ve seen making this claim have consistently written takes on Five that I very strongly adore. How could we disagree on whether or not the dude is in character here? But let me plead my case.

It’s true that Five is different this season, and not in a fun way. His feral-ness is one of the most delightful things about him in general, and it just…wasn’t there. But I think that’s a question for the “I liked it” portion of the Venn diagram (feral Five is so much more fun to watch than sad and tired Five) and possibly for the “narrative sense” portion (do you really want to abandon the the most popular qualities of a character just for the sake of realistic character progression?). It DOES make in-universe sense, because Five is depressed in season 4.

Think about where he is at the start of the season— and for the whole show before that. He spent his whole long, traumatic life obsessed with getting back to, with saving, these people, and all they have done in return is ignore him, yell at him, and blame him for things that weren’t his fault. Viktor my love not even you are an innocent here— sure you spent 17 years mourning him, but then when you finally get him back, you brush off or outright deny everything he ever confides in you, and then you abandon HIM for six years, and he was in the body of a minor at the time, he really could have used you by his side there! (My shipper heart insists his betrayal was the worst of all of them, and even platonically it very well could be).

These people he dedicated his life to turned out to not just be idiots (in his estimation), but they’ve gone and pushed each other— and him— away for six years. His whole life purpose had been to save them, and for what? For them to take it for granted, to squander their second (third, fourth…) chances at life complaining how life sucks and it’s probably Five’s fault? What did he do all this FOR, in the end? And what should he be doing with his life NOW? He’s lost his goals, his meaning. IT’S DEPRESSING DANGIT but it makes sense!

And then he ends up stranded in time. Again. But this time he’s with somebody else— an actual real-life friend instead of a figment of his imagination. He fell in love with Delores because they were partners alone in time— why wouldn’t it happen with a flesh-and-blood person, who can actually act in loving ways toward him? Okay, it’s his sister-in-law, but they’ve been lost for six years with no guarantee of ever getting back, she and Diego had already been on the rocks (I’ll get into her side of the thing farther down), and what does Five care about conventions like How to and not to act with one’s brother’s wife, anyway? He’s feral, remember? He’s not going to stop and say, “No, we can’t do this, it’ll hurt Diego’s feelings,” in this situation! They’re lost in time and all they have is each other!

And let’s examine the whole concept of Five in a romantic relationship to begin with. Obviously I’m not against the concept, because I ship him. It’s ridiculous on my part, because when I started reading TUA fanfic I honestly said, “Wow, it’s refreshing to have a character so impossible to ship as Five is— how many interesting GEN fics can this guy spawn?” and before I knew it I was shipping him with his adoptive brother. BUT. I have also fully embraced the popular headcanon that he’s ace (note: show-Five is not comics-Five in many ways, and this is one of them). Aspec, at least. (NOT aro: I don’t know how anyone can see the way he’s always talked about/treated Delores and not understand that he is absolutely a total romantic). Even in my shipping fics, he’s aspec— “Viktor-sexual,” I have called it even. He falls for his best friend, and his best friend only. And— if I can shamelessly quote one of my own fics here—

“Look, I was married to half a mannequin for thirty-some years, I may have a slightly different understanding of marriage than the average person….Yes, I said what I said. Delores is complicated, okay? There are facts, and there are truths. Facts are I created her out of the rubble of a department store and my own desperation. I know this, I do! But the truth is she loved me. She kept me alive, she lifted me when I would have given up, she fixed my mistakes but forgave me for them, she made me laugh and even laughed back at me. That's what marriage is to me. A partner through the twists and turns of life! It has nothing to do with desire and passion and sex.”

And that’s exactly what happened with Lila! They had become partners through the infinite twists and turns of a seemingly-impossible-to-escape life! I keep seeing “since when does Five think with his dick?” comments, but he WASN’T! It took nearly seven years of close proximity, you-and-me-against-the-multiverse partnership, and shared traumas to happen, and significantly, she made the first move. It absolutely holds up to my own personal headcanons of how Five interacts with romantic love.

And I feel like Five doesn’t really segregate different kinds of love. Romantic or familial, it’s all LOVE, right? We actually had this conversation in the comments of the above fic, “New World Symphony,” just days before S4 dropped: there’s a scene where Five completely confuses the others by explaining that he doesn’t think finding himself married to Viktor is weird because “you’re my brothers— that’s family; he’s my husband— that’s family too,” and JBD— who, I must point out, is not a Fiktor shipper— commented, “Aww, for Five, family is another word for people he loves.” And I thought that was a brilliant way to sum it up (funnily enough, I responded by referring to Five calling Lila “family” at the beginning of S3!). So when he finds the answer to getting home— is it really so hard to believe he doesn’t want to go back? Lila is family just as much as the others are, and LILA ACTUALLY SHOWS HIM LOVE, which is more than any of his adoptive sibs did for him for those first six years back. He was DEPRESSED in the real world, and now he’s HAPPY! Things change! Of course he dedicated his life to getting back home BEFORE, but like the first episode says, it was the Unbearable Tragedy of Getting What You Want! Now he knows better!

From an “In-show sense” standpoint. Maybe not from a “Narrative Sense” standpoint.

Let’s now try to discuss the state of Dilila, but more briefly. (This post is already 1800 words long). It made me sad to see what a mess their relationship had become in the past six years, and I thought it was kind of mean of the storyline to threaten to break them up, but after awhile, as we saw more of it, I had hope for them! I just rediscovered the “Into the Woods” soundtrack recently and suddenly they were reminding me of the Baker And His Wife— they needed to go Into the Woods--symbolically and literally—to be separated from each other, to learn new things about themselves, to yes even have an affair on her part— to appreciate what they had together, to rekindle their True Love. They needed to reevaluate themselves, each other, and their lives, and a separation would only help them to do so. (Now, when we talk about the in-characterness of it all, I DO question whether Lila was completely in character this season— but I mean, that’s part of it, IS she being herself? What does she NEED to be herself? She has to figure that out!)

And here’s where we get to the “Narrative Sense” problem, because that never had the chance to RESOLVE. Going back to what I said yesterday about the problem with The End— EVERYBODY HAD UNRESOLVED ISSUES, and SOME of them were too FRESH to be resolved! Who makes that narrative choice?!

I think narratively, it would work best if Lila and Diego reunited, appreciating each other all the more, and Five would let it happen because he’s primed to believe that being happy is too much to ask for, which is very sad but it works.

Except Lila never does make a choice, and Diego and Five die mad at each other.

Stupid ending.

But to be honest, maybe the writers didn’t want to make the choice because they couldn’t decide either. Narratively we’re rooting for Dilila, but from an in-show character standpoint, Lila and Five really are better for each other than Lila and Diego are. They’re on the same level. They understand each other in ways no one else can, being Commission Agents/murderers and having both been manipulated and betrayed by the Handler. They are matches for each other.

You know, I’m kind of annoyed by this fact. Five IS actually the better choice for Lila. I really want her to be happy with Diego but the facts are facts, she’d be happier with Five.

DANGIT I don’t even KNOW how to ultimately deal with them in the Summerland fix-it! I WANT Lila and Diego to reunite and also want Five to settle into a happy queerplatonic partnership with Viktor (I will DO MY BEST not to ship them in this fic, for the sake of everyone else who might want to read it, but that may be the extent of my best), but now I’m like is that really fair to Lila? UGH, RELATIONSHIPS!

I may settle for everybody taking a break from everybody while they work out their individual issues. (I did start writing a Diego and Kerry scene to immediately follow up the Five and Viktor scene I posted the other day, in which Kerry uses the Power of Autism to compel Diego to be introspective. Who knew.

“My brother stole my wife.” “Did she get free again?” “What?” “You said he stole her. Where did he put her?” “No, I meant he— they had an affair, he didn’t kidnap her.” “You said he stole her, but it sounds like she went with him because she wanted to, so that’s not stealing.” “It’s— why do you care?” “Because you’re not being accurate! He didn’t steal her if it was her choice to go!” “That—.” That made him very uncomfortable, was what that did. “Okay. My wife left me for my brother. That make sense to you?” She peered wide-eyed at him and started to open her mouth, so he added, “and yes she came back. Physically. But physically’s not the point.”

--snippet edited 12:46 ET 8/18/24 just because I actually wrote that final line and it gives the snippet more of a finished feeling so I had to add it. Anyway, so Diego ends up focusing on his issues with Always Being Second-Best at Summerland. If he learns to deal with his own insecurities, he could possibly even truly earn Lila’s love back! But first he has to deal with HIMSELF!)

Long story short, I did not hate this development, and the thing I liked least about it is tied to the thing I liked least about the whole season: if they'd only had time to resolve their issues before getting annihilated from existence, it wouldn't have been terrible! If THAT had been, then I'd be all for it!

I mean, mostly so. I'm still going to be a shameless Fiktor shipper, of course.

[deuxcherise]

Thanks For Giving Answers

C/w: Characters from masterlist, slightly crack, slightly OOC (?) characters, slightly suggestive, spoilers (?), real-life holidays, alternative holidays, made-up holidays, yandere content (obviously), multiple series/oneshots in one place

A/n: So it’s Thanksgiving and I basically wanted to have some fun writing responses from characters I have written for, because why not? The format may be a little confusing, but there is a method to this madness. You can see how American I am in here hahahaha… Now that I’ve written them, this came out longer than expected. Will they be canon? Maaaybe? Who knows?

I have also included a key for your reading ease. Enjoy!

Key:

[___] - Series/Oneshot (which universe they come from on my masterlist)

___: - Character

{...} - Interviewer (if you see this, interviewer has asked further questions / made comments)

Masterlist

It is the season of giving and giving thanks to family, friends, and those who we hold dear to our hearts. Some celebrate it through large or small gatherings around various platters of cranberry and pumpkin to the grand turkey, some make it a tradition to hunt the turkey itself. And some avoid it at all costs, justifying with reasons such as weather precautions or recovering from memories of infamous annual Black Friday haul which the mark of massacre may never fade, or simply politics (we've had quite a lot of that lately, haven't we?) 

Regardless, now that we have gathered here today, it is time to ask some questions to some of our characters.

-----🍒-----

Question: What are you thankful for this year?

-----🍒-----

[Collar Crimes]

You: Huh? Who are you? {...} Um… okay? Uh, I’m thankful for my apartment (even if it is owned by someone I don’t want to see), my job (even though there’s so many creeps I have to deal with), my life (this one is… debatable, but it’s something I have and I appreciate, I guess?), and food. Especially food… Definitely food, for sure. {...} Eris? Uh… sure. He’s kind of annoying and I’ve been getting into trouble lately because of him… but I mean, he does keep my fridge full so… sure.

Eris: Who the hell are you looking at- {...} Oh! Well, I’m thankful for my love, my heart, and my soul, (Y/n)~ {...} Yah~ They’re just a regular- {...} My brother? Uhhh… Do I have to? {...} Oh yes! I’m thankful for Ollie! ‘Cause he’s my best friend. And his parents. Grateful for them too. You know, sometimes, I wish they were my parents and Ollie was my brother instead… but then if I was a different person, I wouldn’t have met (Y/n)~ And if there was a god, I'd worship it. {...} There isn't one.

Ollie: Hello there. Nice to meet you. Thank you for having me. {...} I’m grateful to have my family and Eris. {...} (Y/n)? What? Why? I mean sure I may sort of appreciate kind of for (Y/n), but like… [...} I mean they do keep Eris happy and a happy Eris is good for everyone… {...} Yes, that’s all there is to it! Shut up! It’s not like I really like seeing their angry face… or happy face… {...} Anyway, shut up! You’re wasting my time.

Lyn: … I’m grateful for my family… the May Devils… and (Y/n)... Mm… and my bone collection. {...} Yes, I have a bone collection. {...} Any bone, doesn't matter… {...} I said, any bone will do.

Eren: Who are you and how did you find me? {...} Okay… I guess I’m grateful for the existence of my brother. Speaking of which, I would be really, really, really grateful if you could help me get in contact with him since you seem like that kind of guy. {...} Ya know, Eris? Eris, the Bloodthirsty Weasel? Incarnate of Chaos, Eris. My older brother Eris? {...} What do you mean he won’t come and see me!? {...} It’s Thanksgiving though!? AUGH! Do I have to do everything myself!? ERISSSSS-

-----

[The Hare and the Fox]

You: Oh, you’re… Okay, well I am quite thankful for my family, my den, and for the great light in the big blue. And I guess Arley too. He’s kind of dumb bunny, but I do suppose I like petting him. Actually, he devoted some time to entertain my family when he came along one of my family visits, so I suppose I am thankful he wasn't eaten… I guess he's good to have. Maybe I’ll eat him after the Great Feast this year…

Arley: I’m so thankful to have been saved by Darling. I love her so much I can’t take it. Oh sorry, to cut this short, I need to see her. Where, oh where, is she? I need to show her how thankful I am in every single- {...} Family? Mm, I don’t have anyone but Darling… so Darling is my family!{...} Her family? Mm… only because she really likes them a lot, but Darling is mine so she’s my family, right? Right? RIGHT? {...} Right~

-----

[NSFW Series] (because why not?)

You: Huh? How’d you- {...} Why shouldn’t I knock you out? {...} Oh. Well, I have a lot of things to be grateful for. Like this house… my comfort… my bed… my husband… and having lots and lots of se- Oh, I can’t say that here? Why? {...} What? There’s only me- {...} Ohhh, this is going to be shared so anyone can see? …Well in that case, HELP! I’M BEING-

Husband: What exactly are you doing in my house? {...} Huh… If you really have to do this, then I’m grateful for my dear little minx. {...} Why are they tied up? Well, that’s none of your business, is it now? {...} Give me that right now-

-----

[Notice me, Mrs. Kamisato!]

You: What? This an interview? How did you get pass- Oh, apologies. I shall make this quick. Hm… I’m grateful for my husband’s estate and the garden, my staff— the Elders, I suppose— and my cousins! Wish they could visit more. It does get lonely… Oh, and my lady-in-waiting as well. {...} My husband? Well, to keep it between the two of us, he’s… strange, for a lack of a better words. What I mean is, he has a reputation for being a gentleman, but really, he’s- {...} W-What? N-no, I mean he’s-  his hands are- Oh dear. My sincerest apologies, I really- Please come back another day. By then, I shall be composed in a better manner.

Kamisato Ayato: An interview? How quaint. I am thankful for my family, the staff, and all of our allies in Inazuma. {...} Of course, she has my surname, therefore we are family. {...} What exactly about her, you ask? I suppose she piqued my interest ever since the day we’ve met, and every day I come to be more and more interested in her. Strange, isn’t it? {...} I appreciate your agreement. I hope she'll show me her true self one day. {...} I believe that is considered trespassing. Tell me why I shouldn't call for the guards and get rid of you now? {...} Oh? Then in return for your release, spread the word of how much I adore my wife and then report back to me. {...} Yes. Good. Now go.

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Question: What is your favorite food to eat at a Thanksgiving dinner?

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[Collar Crimes]

You: Uhhh… I guess, everything? Yeah, everything. I don’t have any allergies, and I’ll eat anything. Unless it’s rotten. Or moldy. Or something you can’t eat, you know? … I mean… No, actually I… I really… I really. {...} N-no, it’s okay. It’s just… It’s been years since then, and nobody makes pies like my mom used to…

Eris: Eggs. {...} What? Huh? Ew, no. Not deviled eggs, just eggs. {...} What? There’s already a turkey, right? What happened to plain old boiled eggs? {...} No… but I’m going to celebrate Thanksgiving with (Y/n), and what better to celebrate a first Thanksgiving together then a pie? {...} Yes, they said they liked pies, so I’m going to bake them the best pie ever. Got a problem with that? {...} Good. 

Ollie: The fish. {...} Yes. I know the main entree of a Thanksgiving dinner is typically a turkey or some monstrosity about one fowl getting stuffed into another and then another, but my family has replaced that with gorgeous platter serving  a whole fish garnished all kind of herbs and spices, depending on the fish. {...} It is delicious. Last year, we were served a very large and delectable trout caught in the west side, with a special license from the Marcet Company, of course. I wonder what we’re eating this year…

Lyn: … I suppose I really like eating the turkey itself. {...} … Yes, I admit I like chewing on the bones afterwards… {...} Yes, we usually decide who gets to have the bones by following our family’s tradition of pulling apart wishbones… {...} I hope I get the wishbone this year… and hopefully it'll grant my wish…

Eren: … What’s a Thanksgiving dinner? {...} Oh. Is there seafood? {...} What kind of dinner doesn’t have any seafood!? Is it because you humans are poor or something? I feel so sorry for you. {...} Oh, I can change it? Well, if I had a thanksgiving dinner, then it would be all seafood. Crab legs, oysters, clams, shrimp, you name it! And… I’d like to have one with my brother. If I know him, and I do know him, he hasn’t had a thanksgiving dinner before, so it’ll be the first time for the both of us. Doesn't that sound nice? {...} WHAT??

-----

[The Hare and the Fox]

You: You mean the Great Feast, right? It might surprise you, but I have a soft spot for anything berry-related, and nothing’s more delicious than my mother’s cranberry pie. Mmm~

Arley: (Y/n). {...} Yeah? {...} Oh. Ohhh. Sorry~ I didn’t hear that last part. The Great Feast, huh… To answer your question, I don’t have a favorite. {...} No, there’s typically fruits and vegetable dishes for those who don’t eat meat but I don’t really care for them much. Well, unless Darling is feeding me, of course~

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[NSFW Series]

You: Cu- I’m kidding, I’m kidding~ You know, I’m actually really surprised he let you stay here. {...} Oh. Oh, that’s a shame… Huh… Sorry about that. I actually asked him to spare you and so here you are, hahaha… Sorry, he can be a little… uptight. I mean, for example, he once locked me in the house all day without anything entertain me even when I begged him to- {...} I mean, I got revenge by breaking almost all of our dishes. Right, hon? You remember? Besides, it’s not like I didn’t know what I was getting into when I agreed to marry him. Hahahaha… ha~ Anyway, since you’ll be here a while, your our guest now. Help yourself to some tea and snacks, okay? {...} You’re welcome! And to answer your question seriously, if I had to pick one, I guess mashed potatoes? It’s simple, easy, no mess, and still downright delicious. And sometimes, I make the gravy with olive oil instead of cream when I’m not feeling the dairy {...} Yeah! It basically tastes and feels the same.

Husband: Yes, yes dear. I remember. {...} Whatever my love makes, I eat. By the way, you’re sitting too close to them. {...} Good. You’re a quick learner.

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[Notice me, Mrs. Kamisato!]

You: Thanksgiving dinner…? What exactly is that, might I ask? {...} Oh, I see! Like Kinrō Kansha no Hi! {...} It’s a day to celebrate all of our hardworking laborers. There’s not really a special type of dish served during this time, but if I had to pick something it would be unagi chazuke. It is the holy trinity between fish, rice, and tea, and a traditional Inazuman dish.

Kamisato Ayato: Thanksgiving dinner…? {...} Oh, just like Kinrō Kansha no Hi. Yes. Well, this may not be in the spirit of this “Thanksgiving dinner” of yours but I suppose I’ll be indulging myself with the Milk Tea Medley being served at Hanamizaka. Right now, I hear they’re releasing limited time flavors this year. Hm… Ah, since I am unfortunately stuck here with all of this paperwork you’ve added to, be useful and purchase two orders of it. {...} For my wife to try, of course. {...} Is that true? Hm… What exactly did you do to make my wife speak so earnestly?

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Question: What are you looking forward to the most in this post-Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas season?

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[Collar Crimes]

You: Mmm… Living, I guess? {...} Yeah, that’s about it. {...} I guess the limited Christmas flavors at my favorite cafe is something else I’m looking forward to? {...} Sorry, between holidays, I’m usually just focused on making sure I don’t die and my rent is paid on time? It's not exactly safe here in Agobury. You be careful, okay?

Eris: My love and I’s monthiversary! {...} Yeah, it’s a thing. We’ve had several already. {...} It’s not too much. Think about it. When you’re in love, isn’t it normal to want to celebrate it lots and lots? {...} Just me? That’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Once you fall in love, you’ll get it.

Ollie: Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, that’s when most of our customers rush into the banks like fish in a river, and start cashing in or withdrawing in large quantities. For presents and decor, I think. I don’t usually get the opportunity to set foot into one of our banks since I’m the youngest, but this is the one season during the year I get to help the family out with all of the finances.

Lyn: … Not much goes on. When I was dating my first love, we… we used to head into different cafes all over the city and try every limited Christmas flavors they offered… {...} O-oh? They are?

Eren: … Is there something going between the holidays I’m supposed to look forward to? {...} Then why’d you ask?

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[The Hare and the Fox]

You: Christmas? What’s that? {...} The birth of… who? {...} Mmm, that sounds similar to the Winter Solstice, which celebrates the winter season rather than a… figure? {...} Mm, yes, well, I suppose I’ll be setting up for the Winter Solstice until then. Feel free to join us in Forest's center. Although, you should probably prepare for many eyes. You might stand out since you don't exactly… look like any of us.

Arley: (Y/n). And warm cuddles. It’ll be very cold and I’m sure she’ll need warm hugs from me. {...} Eh? The Winter Solstice? Why? {...} Oh, well of course I’ll be helping out my (Y/n) if even if it's for that cursed day. {...} Eh? Have you never heard of… the Krampus…? Don’t believe them when they say he’s just a myth. He isn’t. {...} … Dooon’t assssk questionssss you don’t want answersss toooo… {...} Hm? What do you mean? Oh! I should warn Darling’s baby brother since he's- Be right back!

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[NSFW Series]

You: Christmas decorations! Obviously! Getting ready for Christmas! Oh, I can’t wait to decorate the Christmas tree and listen to Christmas songs, and eat Christmas food-

Husband: Are you talking about after November? {...} Sweetheart~ You best prepare yourself. It’s been too long… >:)

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[Notice me, Mrs. Kamisato!]

You: Ku-ri-su-ma-su…? Hm, I not quite sure about about holiday of yours but between now to the Lantern Rites Festival, I shall be taking the time to help my husband prepare for the latter as part of my duties. Oh, and the winter festivals. If he’ll let me…

Kamisato Ayato: Ah, is that a festival where you’re from? {...} I see. Our next big festival will take place during the new year, and until then we will be busy preparing for it, among other festivals. {...} Oh? I did not know Ku-ri-su-ma-su had romantic connotations. {...} So it’s different for different countries… hm… Thank for that information. I shall put that info to good use.

-----🍒-----

Question: What would you name a pet turkey?

-----🍒-----

[Collar Crimes]

You: Uh… um… Gobble? Gobble-Gobble? Sorry, I don’t think I’d keep a pet turkey in this economy.

Eris: Turkeys are those bald chickens, right? People keep pet turkeys? {...} Wait, can you keep one like a chicken? Can they lay eggs? {...} How big are they? {...} HOLY-

Ollie: If I had a pet turkey, I’d name it Chicken. {...} Why? Isn’t it funny?

Lyn: … I had a pet turkey once. And then one of my brothers ate it. His name was Rover.

Eren: Who the hell would want to keep a pet turkey? They’re ugly as hell. {...} Really…? If I keep a pet turkey, do you think he’ll come see me- I mean, it?

-----

[The Hare and the Fox]

You: Turkeys are… a reclusive species, I believe. They aren’t a usual sight in this part of the woods. Um, I am not quite sure where you’re from, but I’m sure turkeys wouldn’t take too kindly to becoming pets. And they are quite attached to their names, much like the rest of us foxes, wolves, and other creatures? Unless, do you mean like a nickname? {...} Oh? They are “domesticated”? Hm. Well, I suppose I might’ve accidentally domesticated Arley into becoming my pet, so I suppose you could try? I don't see why anyone would want to hang around a turkey though, unless they're your food. Does your kind eat turkeys?

Arley: Bird. {...} Well, they are birds, aren’t they? Why'd you ask in the first place? Is (Y/n) interested in turkeys? She's not, right? Right?

-----

[NSFW Series]

You: Hm… a pet turkey? Maybe something cute like Big Co- {...} I'm kidding! C'mon, you saw it coming. Hehehehe~ Let me have some fun. It's been a while since I've hung out with someone other than my husband. Not that I mind, but like… you get what I mean, right?

Husband: Hm… it's a tough situation, isn't it? Keeping my sweetheart happy or getting rid of annoying flies.

-----

[Notice me, Mrs. Kamisato!]

You: A pet turkey? Those big chickens that look like brown peacocks, yes? Hm… Maybe something majestic like Danuja-san, or something cute like Nana-san. Are those suitable names for pet turkeys?

Kamisato Ayato: A pet turkey…? Hm, I have to admit, I have no idea. Personally, I much prefer dogs as pets. Speaking of pets, what did my wife say, since I'm sure you asked her the same? {...} “Nana-san”? Hm, my wife is… hm. If I may ask, where does one procure a pet turkey? Do you know? {...} Excellent. I look forward to doing business with you.

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-----🍒-----

Scribble, scribble. Scribble, scribble…

Upon further questioning, the subjects on this list are frankly concerning yet entertaining all the same. Will I attempt a second recording next year? If I’m still alive by then, then yes. That is all I can comment on, given the loss of a good chunk of information during the interview with an overprotective husband. Until then, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening. Thank you.

~ Best Regards, Dillon Bacon