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katuschka · 18 days ago

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Touch Starved Pups – Three

Jake Kiszka x f!Reader x Josh Kiszka October Special (But only because there's a Halloween party in this one. Otherwise, just a continuation of the story.) 5.954 words

Anyway, it you're new to this, welcome to Part Three of the story about what happens to two well-behaved, bored and horny romantics when a new feisty, worldly and hot social media manager enters the building...

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): expressive language, promiscuous behaviour, petting and fingering (f!receiving), some heavy fluff, kissing, sex toys and teasing in public, costumes, alcohol consumption, a very brief mention of marihuana, allusions to continuous online bullying, being in denial of one's feelings

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Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah

It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough

You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love

There are so many pleasurable things you can do on a rainy October day, instead of being stuck in a conference room. Sleeping comes to mind immediately. Or sleeping with someone. Sleeping after having slept with someone is definitely the best option. Best-served with champagne and strawberries and a Taurus on each side. Nudge nudge, wink wink.

Naughty, naughty thoughts. I promised myself to abstain from that…at least for a while, because two horny Tauruses dogging me all the time were exactly the reason why this couldn’t be just a lazy Saturday afternoon. Oh dog, how I hate conference rooms.

But who doesn’t, right? Well, apart from the people who have a stick up their asses. And by that I don’t mean any funny silicone shit. I have yet to meet a sane person who doesn’t look either annoyed or miserable while sitting around the long table in a usually cold room. Doesn’t matter if it’s due to the air temperature or the sterile interior design. All those meetings, briefings and brainstorming sessions have nothing to do with creativity and real work. The only ones who enjoy it are those who love to listen to themselves talking, which is usually the only skill they possess. Everyone else is just waiting for it to be over so that they can go back to doing something that is actually productive.

Like…fucking, preferably. Oh no, not again. Be for real, bitch! F-O-C-U-S.

At least this was the GVF headquarters and not some fancy-schmancy glass tomb that reeks of Ivy League jizz. That’s why I prefer working with artists. Corporate marketing is boring and often borderline unethical. Here,we had beer. Both Sam and Jake already downed two cans each, which made it pretty obvious that they were just as happy to be there as I was. I took just a few tentative sips myself, as I had to keep in mind what was at stake.

My job.

Of all the reasons for summoning an “emergency” meeting, this one’s the worst.

I tried to ease my mind a bit on my way there by blasting Lucille Bogan in my car, but as soon as that bitch started singing about enjoying two dicks the side of a baseball bat, I almost screamed with exasperation. During the past month, I had tried to avoid exactly that. And for what? I was still pretty much fucked, and not the way I wanted. Damn, how I missed those dicks. But I’m a professional, and even though both of them kept begging instead of just enjoying their much deserved break and time spent at home, I was adamant.

See, it’s part of my job to make sure there’s no significant online drama. And I obviously failed. You can’t really avoid it, it often spreads like a virus and there’s something new every day, but just like with any other illness, there’s prevention and treatment. Anytime something lasts more than two weeks, I’m bound to report it to the management. And that’s exactly why I’d rather jump in the snake pit today, as it was me who caused the most recent major fuckup. It’s been more than a month.

So, I submitted all the evidence a week prior and expected to be roasted. I’m no pounce pony though, and I knew very well that apart from the most recent mishap, I had done a really good job in the last six months. High on caffeine and adrenaline, I sat up straight, ready to defend my job.

“... so, as you can see, that one-time drop on Instagram and Tiktok is counterbalanced by a steady increase of all numbers – not just followers, but also various interactions – on all the platforms except the X, which is fairly specific and…” I expected Melissa from management a.k.a “That Bitch” to interrupt me eventually, and yet I cringed when I finally heard her annoying voice coming out of the large screen in front of us. It matched the face perfectly.

“Well, that’s actually the only reason why we’re even having this conversation. Stella, you must understand that this is a problem. While we don’t believe in strict policies when it comes to mixing your personal and professional life…and you’re all adults…” She both looked and sounded quite unconvinced by her own words. “... this has gone a bit too far. We cannot really tolerate any further damage to the reputation of the band. That’s unacceptable. Thankfully for you, you have significant support who put in a good word for you.”

If clearing one’s throat was an olympic discipline, a few people, both in the room with me and on the big screen, would qualify. That offended me a bit. I’m a tolerant person, but my sex life is not a gob of phlegm, thank you very much. Fuckers.

Anyway, back to business.

“Yes, I understand that, Melissa, and I’ve already made amends.” By making amends I meant that there was currently no mixing going on and I was going to keep it that way in near future. And while I at least pretended to understand why it was “unacceptable”, I wasn’t sure about the other two whom it also concerned and who were sitting opposite to me. To be honest, I had absolutely no idea what was really going on behind Jake’s poker face and sunglasses combined. Josh, on the other hand, kept watching me sideways through his ridiculously long eyelashes while his tongue kept polishing his front teeth, which made him look like he was constantly pouting. I tried to ignore it. “The new strategic plan for the next few months before the scheduled releases is also ready. So, whenever the guys are too, we can start working on it. The three most successful recent posts both on Instagram and Tiktok proved that candid content really is...” Aaaand she interrupted me again.

“This is all very nice Stella, but I want to hear how you’re going to deal with the current issue first.”

I could feel my blood start to boil. I did all I could, even though I didn’t want to, but I just couldn’t fight the nightmare! The best thing to do now was to direct everyone��s attention somewhere else. “Unfortunately, certain things are beyond my control, and…”

“I don’t think your reputation and your problematic past is entirely beyond your control, Stella.”

My past? MY problematic past? There it was again. It was just a pinkie at first, but I had to grab my right hand with the left one to stop it from shaking.

“I think that’s enough, Melissa.” It was Jake. No longer leaning back against his chair and acting as if he was in the room entirely by mistake, he was now looking directly at the screen with his left hand placed menacingly on the table. I loved when he was glowering like that. Especially when… focus, you idiot! Meanwhile, he continued, only to be interrupted by Josh, as always. “We all know – including you, I hope – that you can’t really choose your parents. I mean…”

“Yeah, uh, and speaking about parents, I think that if my mother doesn’t see Stella as problematic, then you shouldn’t either.”

Oh Joshy, baby, that isn’t really helping, and… your mother?! Well, that was a bit embarrassing, given the…well, all of it actually. I had met their mom twice, so I knew she was no prude, but still. Yikes! “Your mom knows about this?” I mewed. I certainly didn’t want to emit such a high-pitched, screechy sound, but as I said, certain things were beyond my control.

“Well, of course, darling, she doesn’t live in a cave” he replied nonchalantly, before he turned back to Melissa. “But also because she was notified about it, no doubt by the same people who keep sending Stella hateful messages. THAT is unacceptable and problematic. And I think that, um, given wha…uh…given the band’s message and all, we shouldn’t really tolerate when our employees are being bullied, let alone participate in it.”

The room fell quiet. Both rooms, to be more specific. I didn’t even realize I was gaping at Josh until Danny’s finger gently pushed my chip back up. I turned to my right to look at him and he smiled at me encouragingly. They were all unbelievable. Sometimes I felt like Alice in fucking wackoland. I didn’t even know why I kept denying to admit that they were actually pretty sweet. ‘People are cunts’, that was my favorite mantra and the armor I put on every morning.

“Very well!” Melissa broke the silence at last. “But I hope we all agree that this must be sorted out. And all I want is Stella to…”

“Ok, let’s not delve into this any further, because it’s both inappropriate and irrelevant.” It was Jake again. While mixing business with bodily fluids wasn’t “exactly discouraged”, keeping anyone from finishing a sentence seemed like a cardinal rule here. Why didn’t anyone tell me before? I’m quite good at it too when needed.

Jake was still talking to Melissa when he turned to me. “... the main issue is with me and Josh having a row or something, that’s how it all started, correct?”

“Correct…,” both me and the Bitch answered in unison, albeit with uncertainty.

“Cool, so let’s work on that.” And with that, he leaned back again, resuming his previous ‘fuck-this-shit’ posture.

“Ok…please, do!” Melissa breathed out, pinching her brow.

“I got some ideas…” I added hopefully to break the tension, even though I had N-O-N-E at the moment, because I was very well aware that even if we posted a series of sickeningly sweet shutterstock-ish pictures of the two of them going fishing together, it wouldn’t change a thing. I was still THE problem.

“Fine, you better make them work. I don’t care how, just fix it. You have one week to come up with a plan, because we need to start working on the RAH teasers well before Thanksgiving, and it would be fine if you managed to boost the numbers even more before that.”

“Aaaactually, we already have a plan.” It was Sam this time.

“We do?” I thought I only thought of the question, but apparently, I said it out loud, because Daniel gently stomped on my foot under the table in an obvious attempt to stop me from saying any more. “Yeah, Stella. That costume thing you told us right before the meeting. We actually quite like it. And pardon my amateur opinion, but I think it might work.”

“Oh yeah,” I chimed feebly. I honestly had no idea what was going on and I didn’t like it one bit, but I also wanted it to be over already and any straw I could catch was more than welcome. “Yeah, the costume thing… Ok, let’s try it.”

“So…can someone please explain to me what you meant by having a plan?”

We were no longer in that stifling room. Instead, Sam was playing some tune on the piano in the main room while the twins sat sprawled on the couch nearby and Daniel was helping himself to another beer.

While still playing, Sam turned his head slightly towards me. “It’s top secret. I’ll just have to come to our Halloween party and see for yourself. Believe me, you’ll like it.”

“I really doubt it. I hate Halloween parties.”

In fact, I hate Halloween parties, New Year’s Eve parties, birthday parties and all that shit. Parties with a small p are just fine, but these organized annual celebrations of infantility often turn to a shitshow, especially when family members are involved. I couldn’t see how replacing sleazy uncles with your actual bosses could be any different. And what was the plan, anyway?

“Told you…” Daniel called while still rummaging in the fridge. Meanwhile, Josh stood up and was now trying to dance with me to the music. Trying is really a very fitting word in his case, because it was like being thrown around the room by a drunk chimpanzee.

„Dear sparrow, it won’t be just an ordinary Halloween party. I hereby invite you to our night of debauchery and incessant frolicking. Yeah, and the play, well…as Sam said, top secret.“ Josh chimed.

„Don’t you have your own acquaintances to keep you company now we’re back from tour?“ They kept informal, friendly relationships with most of the crew, and I was sure some other people from our team might be there as well, but I didn’t lie when I told That Bitch that I was trying to make amends.

Josh finally let go of me and collapsed back on the couch. „Ah, no… sadly, there seems to be a dreadful shortage of pretty dicks that would be able to satisfy my refined taste and wild, wicked nature.“

Jake looked as if he would throw up soon. „Don’t listen to him, he’s just bluffing. He’s like a meek lamb when in a relationship.“

Yeah, Jakey, I know, but it’s cute how you both always try to convince me otherwise.

The remark, however, didn’t throw Josh off the hinges AT ALL. hE kept the facade without even blinking. „…and while I’m still on the lookout for a daddy that would tame me, let’s have some fun in the meantime.“

„There’s no shortage of cunts, though,” I chimed in, trying not to look overly amused by his antiques.

„Yeah, well, too bad. I’m quite picky,“ he winked at me.

There was no point in trying to argue with him. “Ok, I’ll think about it.” I wasn’t going to.

Until…

„You really should come.“

I thought I was the last person in the building, with all of them already gone. I was just collecting my stuff, ready to go home too, when Jake’s voice right behind my back made me jump.

„Jesus fuck! Alright. Convince me.“ I didn’t want him to.

But he did. „Ok, c’mon.“ He grabbed my hand and dragged me back to the now empty conference room, because as it turned out, we weren’t completely alone. One of the assistants just arrived to replenish the fridge. Once inside, he pinned me against the wall, grabbed my chin and skillfully proceeded to convince me with his tongue inside my mouth. And so we were mixing again! Oh well.

„Ok, ok, I shall come,“ I said, breathless, when he finally released me. As I said, he had been hiding behind his shades most of the afternoon, so looking right into his eyes now was akin to electric shocks. Sometimes I really hate them, you know.

„Good.“ He closed the gap between us once again and brushed his lips against mine, but much more gently this time.

No! Not good! This was exactly why I did NOT want to go! Oh well…

My initial plan was to go dressed as Mata Hari, because sometimes I enjoy being overly melodramatic AND I prefer to slut with class. I was also quite certain Josh would approve of the abundance of sparkly trinkets while Jake might appreciate the fact that they wouldn’t really cover much.

The fuckers had other plans. Not only did Josh send a car for me, obviously to prevent me from leaving early as I had threatened to do, but the driver also handed me a box with another costume. Inside it was a rather hideous violet coverall, not much different from those Josh himself was sometimes wearing, and a pair of steampunk welding goggles. The fuck… I snatched my phone and quickly typed a message.

S.: NO WAY!

Baggins: on comeon, its gonna be fun. and gregory is instructed to keep waiting until you get dressed.

S: Well, in that case he’s gonna spend the night, because I’m not going anywhere wearing that.

Baggins: yes, you are. or else…

It was followed by a picture of him holding a huge hammer and standing menacingly next to a chair, to which he tied Jake’s Beloved.

Ok, I have to admit: He made me laugh. But I wasn’t doing it. Having seen my vulnerable side made them bolder, but I’m no lily-of-the-valley. This blood red rose has thorns. While my therapist would tell you that it’s his fault, I see no fault in that.

As if Josh was distance-reading my mind, the pic was quickly followed by another message.

Baggins: im serious!

Yeah, he wasn’t, but I got the point. They’d do some other stupid shit eventually. To make me pay. So, 45 minutes later we arrived at the huge house which the guys were renting for the party. Previously notified by Gregory, Josh was already waiting at the door, wearing a red hawaiian shirt and a clown nose.

“Sparrow! My dearest!” He greeted me dramatically with his arms outstretched. “You look absolutely fabulous…but where are your goggles? You totally need those!” he added after he smooched both sides of my face. The man was already high as a kite and the mixture of weed and tequila attacked my nostrils with brutal force. I wasn’t planning on drinking or smoking anything for my own sake, which only meant that they would appear even more insufferable than they usually do. It’s almost impossible to interact with inebriated Kiszkas while sober. I never understood how Danny could cope. Well, probably because he usually drank just as much.

I took those goggles with me, just in case, but mainly to tell him that “I’m not putting those on my face, Josh!”

“Oh no no no, these go on top of your beautiful head, darling.” He took them from me and carefully put them on. I secretly mourned the beautiful art deco headdress I left at home. Eyes or hair, I still looked like a fucking mechanic.

“Hmmm, yes! Almost perfect. All you need is…” Without finishing the sentence, he started fumbling in his pocket until he pulled out a pink lipstick and smeared some on the top of my nose. I didn’t ask… Exasperated, I just rolled my eyes, as I was glad he finally ushered me inside because my teeth started to chatter. He didn’t even flinch, probably already too drunk to realize it was actually fucking cold outside.

“So what’s this shit? You dressed as Sam this year? Oh-em-gee, don’t tell me I’m supposed to be you?!” I exclaimed, tugging at the hideous coverall. He just chuckled, snaked his arm around my shoulder and led me into a large living space already full of people whom I didn’t know and didn’t expect. Not your usual rock&roll party.

“Oh no no no, nothing like that, darling. Ok, let me… where the hell is Jake…”

Yeah, speak of the devil, he just emerged from the adjoined kitchen, deep in conversation with some old geezer dressed as Charlie Chaplin. Seriously, these guys are unbelievable. You’d expect some hot bitches here. Instead, I ended up looking like Rosie the Riveter, in a room full of country crooners. However, my eyebrows shot up at the sight of Jake in an aviator jacket and a fedora hat. “Since when is your brother a fan of Indiana Jones?” Josh snickered again. I was getting really annoyed. The truth is, Indiana Jones was hardly ever completely bare chested and I don’t think his accessories ever included a red party balloon. Meanwhile, Jake spotted us and beelined towards us. He tried to appear serious, but couldn’t really fight off the cheeky smile that was creeping across his face. As he got closer, I could see that the tip of his nose was painted black. I smelled a rat.

“You look wonderful, Bebe.” He gave me a toothy smile and tipped his head.

“No, I don’t and you know it. I’m still waiting for an explanation, as your goofy brother refused to give me any. Why are we looking like…”. At that moment, I spotted Sam and Daniel, who looked like Belmondo in his prime except for the enormous, ginger, fake walrus mustache under his prominent nose.

However, my mouth fell open at the sight of Sam, sporting a red turtleneck, fairy wings between his shoulder blades and HUGE, yellow ski goggles, except – unlike me and mine – he really had them on. He looked like… and then it dawned on me…

Jumping from behind Daniel, he also moved our way to greet me properly. He was literally buzzing.

… and I ended up on the floor laughing my ass off. Not a rat. Fucking chipmunks! “Oh my god! We are! Oh god, this is fucking hilarious!” I couldn’t stop laughing, while pointing a finger at the two idiots grinning at me from above. “You’ve no idea how fucking accurate this is!” I howled while Jake took a swig of helium from the balloon he was holding.

“Oh yes, we do!” he squeaked and held a hand for me to pull me back up. I landed right into his arms and collided with him, still wheezing, but as soon as I felt his heart beating against my boobs, the amusement was quickly replaced by another feeling – one which I wasn’t really keen on entertaining.

I broke the embrace abruptly to say hi to the other two.

I said I wouldn’t drink, but I really, really needed some whisky real quick. So, with Josh leading the way, we all moved our asses to the kitchen, where I could inquire a bit more about their real intentions.

“OK baby, I admit that this is both funny and cute, but what exactly is that alleged plan of yours? Unless you enticed me here to fight against a fat tabby cat. I admit Mel looks like one, but… ”

“We got a photobooth here, darling.” Josh explained, as if that was any explanation at all. He leaned playfully over the counter until he was mere inches away from my face and whispered: “We’re too cute. I think we need a group photo. You can even make a tiktok if you want!”

“And how is that supposed to make things better?”

Leaning even further forward – literally splattering himself across the counter – he kissed and patted my head, making me feel like a dimwit for even asking. “Well, first, it will show that we’re not fighting. And second, it will make it pretty obvious that we do like you.”

I let out an exasperated sigh. “Please don’t make me repeat my question.”

The whisky was doing hardly anything for me. I needed more buzz. I raised my glass suggestively and Jake quickly got a grasp. Standing right next to me, he reached out for the bottle that stood on the counter to Josh’s right. While his pendants swung right in front of my eyes, there was that feeling again…oh dammit! Seemingly oblivious to my internal struggle, he answered while refilling my glass.

“It’s not supposed to make things better for us, it should make things better for you.”

Poor little chipmunks. So pretty and SO naive…More fuel to the fire. And I was sure Melissa was going to be absolutely delighted. But, against my better judgment, I let my bitchy, vengeful me take over my professional side momentarily and imagined the backlash with glee. It had a good potential to become viral and the idea filled me with malicious joy…

Sam brought me back from my reverie… “Can you punks please hurry? I’ll need to change soon!”

“What is he changing into?” I asked Jake.

“Jesus,” he rolled his eyes. “Mary Magdalene will arrive at ten.”

The photo session turned out to be quite fun. True, it was like high school all over again, but this time with the people that I actually liked. And being too old to find the costumes cringy, we simply just enjoyed the moment. When Daniel shouted ��cheese”, we all howled with laughter. Yeah, it was cool. Perhaps too cool. I was getting too drawn to them again.

So, when it was over, I was ready to leave. When I found Josh in the kitchen to say bye, I tried to blame it on the lack of debauchery. Secretly, I was glad there was none.

“Ok, Josh, thank you. Those photos will be perfect and it was fun and all, but you promised me some shameless shit, and all I’m getting is a kids' theme party, so unless you give me something to stay, I’m leaving.”

I expected him to be disappointed. I did not expect him to be able to do something about it. Actually, he wasn’t sad at all. There was this strange gleam in his eyes that I knew too well.

“I was getting worried you’d never mention it. Here.” Reaching inside the same pocket in which he was hiding the lipstick, he pulled out a small, rounded remote and handed it to me.

“What is that?”

“Just try it.” There was a sultry undertone in his voice all of the sudden, which got me intrigued. I pressed the biggest of the three buttons and watched how his lips parted just a tiny bit. Astonished, I watched his chest rise and fall as he kept looking at me intently. Oh god… Away from the music, I could hear something buzzing, although it was barely noticeable. My own eyes widened in realization.

I pressed another button to increase the intensity and watched him squeeze his eyes shut and bite his lip to keep himself quiet, because we weren’t completely alone. What a sight. To help you imagine the whole picture, he still had the clown – I mean Dale’s – nose on. I took a step closer to whisper in his ear.

“You’re wicked, Joshua!”

Yeah…I stayed.

“And it’s all for you…” I was sure he meant to sing it, but it came out as a strangled groan. I switched it off and took a step back, pondering over the power that I literally held in my hand.

Watching me examining the little pebble-like thing, he seemed to read my mind once again. “It’s your toy for the evening. But only if you stay, of course. It doesn’t really work long-distance.”

Can you blame me?

I used it several times during the evening. It was fun watching him squirm during the most inconvenient moments. He even cursed me a few times, but I didn’t make the rules. It was his game and I just played it like a good girl.

Lol, no. Not good at all.

I must admit that despite my expectations, I was really having a good time. Sometime around midnight, Sam started absolving everyone from their sins, the Charlie Chaplin guy threw up in the ice bucket, Jake took off his aviator jacket and started jumping around the room while shouting “much better” over and over again, and unsurprisingly, Daniel really knows how to play the bongos. The rest is a blur, but nice. A few dances, a few stolen kisses from both of them, some touching…

Totally innocent, I swear.

To tell the truth, I could feel my previous resolve crumbling with each new sip of the fiery golden liquid, and judging by how eager the two of them were to keep replenishing my glass, I think it was their mutual goal to keep me there.

The huge main room got gradually quieter as the night grew thin, until it was just the three of us chilling on the huge couch at three-ish in the morning. Don’t ask me how that happened, because I’ve no idea. Everyone else had either gone back home or disappeared upstairs. I could feel the fatigue slowly taking over my body. I wasn’t exactly sleepy, I just felt like a rag doll. I should have been back home in my bed already, but I simply didn’t want it to end just yet. The place was now illuminated only by string lights, which only added to the tranquil atmosphere. Really festive too, almost christmasy.

I closed my eyes for a sec, relishing in the moment of peace. My head was spinning just a bit after everything I had drunk that night (sometimes during the night, I switched to martinis), but it only added to the feeling. No one had ever done anything like that for me.

“This is nice…”

‘This is nice’? OMG, stfu, bitch! This is not a tea party.

But it WAS, even though neither of us could deny that there was a shitload of underlying tension in the air that made my skin prickle despite the serenity of the moment. Even that was nice. And I had missed it.

“We were wondering…”

“Which one of us is better?”

I slowly turned my head to the right to see Jake’s tilted profile. I expected him to continue and to kindly enlighten me what the hell they were wondering, but he kept staring at the ceiling as if he was looking out for God to materialize there.

“Uh huh, and what were you wondering, dear?”

Oh shit…

I took a deep breath first. “That’s almost impossible to tell, Jake. You’re different, each in its own specific way.”

“You sound like a kindergarten teacher.”

“Yeah, I guess, but it’s true.”

And it was. Jake seemed to have a degree in the she-comes-first studies, and by that I don’t mean just cumming. He wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without knowing that he absolutely aced it. Sometimes it turned into a game of dominance, but it almost always ended the same way. He can call you a “cock slut” or worse as part of the game, but you always know you’re being cherished. Almost as if he…no.

I think that deep down, he was a hopeless romantic.

And Josh? He kept surprising me every day and ALWAYS made sure I was absolutely ok with everything he did, or wanted me to do. I never felt more safe in my whole life. It wasn’t always what I wanted, because I like surprises, but I knew it would make him feel bad. After a while I even realized that I needed it, which frightened me a bit.

Well, thinking about it, they actually had one thing in common.

See, I was used to taking the things I wanted because no one ever gave me anything and I stopped expecting it a long time ago. And I just couldn’t stop thinking about all the things they had done for me recently, even though they absolutely didn’t have to.

It made me feel things that I absolutely didn’t want to feel.

And yet it was nice…

“You know Jake, you both excel in one thing, and yet it somehow can’t be measured. Or compared.”

“Sounds like a fucking oxymoron to me.”

“Ok, lemme show you.”

I fumbled in my pocket for a few secs until I managed to press the right button without them knowing (ok, ok, without one of them knowing) what I was trying to do.

The feeble buzzing sound echoed in the silence of the room – followed by a gasp on my left – and as expected, Josh automatically snuggled closer and started nuzzling my neck.

“See?” I smiled wickedly and increased the intensity again. Josh moaned and his hand slid down to my left breast, kneading it gently. Like a good boy. Always giving back.

“You didn’t!” Jake straightened up to get a better view of his twin.

“I absolutely did,” the said twin breathed out against my skin, giving me goosebumps.

“The whole night?”

“Focus Jake, not the point…”

“Ok, so what’s your point?”

I tilted my head a bit more to allow Josh a better access and I also cupped his growing bulge. He moaned and snuggled even closer. I turned my eyes on his brother. “What do you wanna do now, Jake?”

“Kill him, actually.”

Josh chuckled and proceeded to attack my earlobe, nibbling at it and breathing in my ear sultrily. I kept my eyes on Jake the whole time.

“And apart from that?”

He moved closer without breaking eye contact and kissed me softly. I parted my lips to allow him to deepen it, but he didn’t. Just a few more teasing pecks before he whispered: “Depends on what you want?”

“Yeah, exactly,” I whispered back. “That is the point.” I had been distant since the end of the tour, and they noticed. And while they kept inquiring and teasing and flirting, they never said that they wanted anything from me. I let go of Josh completely and straightened up a bit. And I also broke the mood completely.

“This. I want this. I really do. I missed it so much. But…the job…”

“That’s ok.”

“Are you sleepy, sparrow? We can just go to bed. I mean, there’s a separate room just for you.” Josh asked in a low voice while playing with a strand of my hair, before he stroked it in earnest. Goddamit. Seriously.

“No…I haven’t been sleeping well lately,” I answered with honesty. “I mean I am kinda tired, but not really sleepy, no.”

Yeah, that’s right. I had the opportunity to say that we should call it a night, and I should have done that. But I didn’t want to. And they caught that. I could see them having that spooky, silent eye-to-eye dialogue again, and after a while, Josh continued.

“You need to rest, you know. And you also told me what helps you the most. Didn’t she tell you as well, Jake?”

“Indeed, she did.”

Gulp…

“The job is fine. You’re doing a great job, actually. And Mel knows it too well. But you've been a bit stressed lately. May I?” Josh pulled at the zipper tap teasingly, just an inch, and I whimpered and nodded. Yeah… So he opened the zipper completely all the way down, with an agonizingly slow pull.

“No bra…that’s not surprising.”

“But no panties either, Bebe? Tsk, tsk…”

I was completely sandwiched between them and once again it was making me feel dizzy. As I tilted my head back, they both attached themselves to my neck on each side. It was overwhelming in the best way possible, and a loud moan escaped my mouth and the fact that we weren’t really ‘somewhere private’ and anyone could walk in on us made it even more exhilarating. That’s what I had been dreaming of. When I actually got some sleep, that is.

I expected them to tell me to undress, but they had other selfless plans. Jake’s hand slid down to where there were no panties while Josh set my left boob completely free and bent down to suck on my nipple.

“Kiss me,” I whispered to Jake and he obliged with urgency and fierceness, swallowing my moans and biting my lip every time I had to catch a breath.

But his attention was really somewhere else. Between my wet folds, to be more precise. He slid two fingers inside me and started working his magic, with his thumb running gentle circles around my clit.

I kept my eyes closed and completely – selfishly – gave in to the feeling.

I could feel Josh’s palm massaging my upper thigh. I could feel his mouth travel slowly up until he reached my jaw and as Jake finally broke the kiss, Josh swiftly took his place.

I could feel Jake’s fingers curl up against my sensitive spot and I shivered. Lightheaded, as if I was high on oxygen, I felt like melting under their touch. Dripping on them. My breath hitched and I was barely aware of Jake whispering in my ear to let go. My back arched and my whole body convulsed when everything around Jake’s fingers exploded. I could feel them holding me. I could hear them praising me. I slept like a baby until lunch. But not in my room. And not alone. Oh well…

@thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep @takenbythemadness @edgingthedarkness @jazzyfigz @josh-iamyour-mama @sanguinebats @cheersdannyx2 @gvfstuddedmajesty @fleetingjake @lizzys-sunflower @hollyco @emojakekiszka @gvfmarge @Dayumclarizzel @lipstickitty @watchingover-hypegirl @clownstarr @peaceloveunitygvf @gretasfallingsky @gretnavannfleet @solanjjje @musicislove3389 @i-love-gvf @blankvz @psychedelectable

#greta van fleet #gvf #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #jake gvf #josh gvf #greta van fic #greta van fleet fanfic #jake kiszka fanfic #gvf fanfiction #gvf fanfic #jake gvf fanfic #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fan fiction #josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka smut #josh kiszka fanfic #Spotify

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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 1 year ago

Text

spider society

pairing: miles morales x gn!spidey (platonic)

WC: 3.3K

warnings: cursing and slight spoilers!

summary: a new friend is welcomed but is quick to become foe.

A/N: SPOILER WARNING FOR ATSV!!!! i wrote this in a day and on little sleep, so that will explain if this is terrible. also barely proofread so apologies for any writing errors. i did the best i could for the scene based on memory and clips from tik tok.

masterlist

earth-42

the lobby was crowded. like always. spider people here, there, everywhere. floor to ceiling as they traversed to their different destinations whether that be another dimension to fix anomalies or just the food court to get some lunch.

your headphones covered your ears to keep the loud conversations at bay as you mind your business. nothing to do, just tapping finger to finger in random patterns as you observed everyone with your background music. with your eyes landing near the entrance of the building you saw gwen and hobie, along with someone you’d never met before but excited for the new face. literally new face.

“gwen! hobie!” you shouted after pushing the bulky headphones down to your neck before rushing towards them. they waved you close to them, gwen with a friendly smile and hobie with his watchful eyes but only filled with kindness.

you stopped before the three of them and gave the two of them quick hugs before they could make any objections. attention now on the new person. his was tall and lean and looked a few years younger than you. black kid with curly hair and wandering dark eyes.

“hi, i’m y/n l/n. or spidey or spider, if you want. but best to use my name since we’re all spiders.” mouth moving on its own. “sorry. just haven’t seen a new face or person in a little bit. no offense to the peter’s,” you leaned closer to his face and he leaned away slightly from the intrusion, “but there are too many of him. and a lot of them sound closely the same.”

“don’t let peter hear that.” gwen joke. she gave a quick nudge to her quiet friend. “this is miles morales.”

“h-hi. yeah, i’m miles. nice to meet you, this place is just… wow.” head turning in all directions to get the full scope.

“yeah, kinda crazy. but miguel worked hard to make all this happen for us. kinda nice to physically see you're not alone in the fight.”

“speaking of-“ gwen got cut off by miles glitching out and dropping to the floor in pain. you knelt with him and touched his shoulder. “he doesn’t have a watch?” frantic as you check his wrist for the bulky device but not finding it. gwen bit her lip but avoided eye contact and looked at someone behind you.

“here,” you heard the motherly voice of jessica drew, “day pass.” and saw how miles caught the flimsy band before slipping it on.

“why don’t we get some food?” trying to break the sudden tension jessica brought with her. but before anyone could agree or disagree with your idea, she spoke up. “actually the three…” her eyes lingered on you and the touch of your hand to miles’s shoulder, “the four of you need to see miguel. it’s urgent.”

you didn’t like that. you don’t like it whenever miguel calls for you and it’s not for a job. you tried making an excuse, “actually, i should get-“ “don’t lie your way out, y/n. just follow the rules.” jessica commanded.

she started to walk away, then gwen and hobie followed after her. “hey,” miles tried to make eye contact. you felt like shrinking into yourself. “don’t worry. i’m sure it’ll be fine.”

you knew it wasn’t but didn’t bother. a weary smile, “why don’t we stop by the food court?” fingers circling his wrist as you tugged him along. “miguel loves the empanadas and it wouldn’t hurt to keep him on the nice side.” miles happily agreed.

the walk to miguel’s ‘office’ was always dark and quiet. too quiet, the sound of just your breathing and footsteps sounding like blaring sirens that bounced off the walls. you hated the walk. instinctively you wore your headphones over your ears and played something, but at a low volume to still hear miles and hobie converse. gwen led your group, her back the only thing you saw as she didn’t bother with facing any of you. she felt closed off.

you eyed hobie as he nicked bits and pieces from walls, tables, and junk. you didn’t stop him like miles was trying, just watching with pure curiosity, wondering what he was up to. always doing something to rebel.

miles turned to you and you saw his mouth moving, but only faintly heard his words. pausing the music and moving the device back to your neck you asked him to repeat his sentence.

“so, how does one get recruited for this spider society?” he held the to-go box in both hands. his thumbs rubbing at the top in a nervous sort of gesture.

“i- i don’t think you’d like it very much.” not wanting miles to be stuck like the rest of you. “catching anomalies is very annoying. and very busy. wouldn’t you like to stay in your dimension? with your friends and family?” voice going soft and melancholy. fingers toying with the device at your wrist.

you didn’t notice how miles eyes softened from your tone or how gwen looked fully over her shoulder towards you, knowing the true meaning of your words. and hobie continued to knick bits.

“well…” miles tried to restart the conversation, “i mean. at least with the watch, i can visit my friends. i can hang out with you more.” a playful nudge to your arm pulled a smile. a new friend, you liked the thought.

“why not just make your own watch?” hobie commented. he broke something off a defective project and stuffed it into his vest pocket. “you look smart enough to build from scraps.” he kicked his thick boots at objects in his path.

“i wanna do this by the rules. by the books.” he shrugged his shoulders. face looking just a bit glum.

“are either of your parents' cops?” a simple question you posed.

he looked confused but still answered, “my dad. gonna be captain soon.” he smiled down at the ground. he must be very proud of his family.

now you nudge his shoulder, “well, i bet your dad is proud of you. knowing or not knowing. but sometimes, you shouldn’t play by the book.” a hushed whisper.

“aye, y/n!” hobie slapped his hands on your shoulders, “that’s what i like to hear! screw the system. do what you need to do, my guy.”

“guys!” gwen raised her voice, “please can we just-“ she trailed her sentence off with a tilt of her head. the four of you were getting closer.

“miles, just remember,” hobie leaned towards miles, “don’t join the establishment until you know what you’re fighting for.”

the hallway widened out and when you looked up, miguel had his back turned as he stood on his platform. miles looked to gwen and she held a hand up, “yeah. i know, but it’s his thing. so just…” and she trailed off again.

gwen and miles walked further into the light as you and hobie stayed near the dark. hobie situated himself along the wall, fingers playing with whatever he got his hands on. you leaned beside him with your arms crossed over your chest and hip cocked. just from this show alone, you know miles is in for a miguel tantrum.

“how’s it been?” eyes on hobie, “um… okay.” you picked at the nylon of your suit, “sometimes if i’m bored, i go to other places. they let me as long as i don’t cause trouble. sorry i haven’t visited recently.” a twist to your lips.

hobie waved you off, “ain’t a problem. pop by whenever. gwendys around most times.”

your heads turned when miguel raised his voice and threw the food box to the ground. you pushed away from the wall and walked closer to the light.

“what’d i do?” “miguel. it’s not his fault.” miles and gwen’s voices mixed. you heard a thwip and turned to see hobie stealing the free food.

“he’s screwed everything up! just like doctor strange and that little nerd from earth-1999999.” miguel pinched his nose bridge.

“i visited there once. interesting place.” miles seemed to be the only one intrigued by your story. “they have this group called the avengers.” eyes widening at the word.

“are they like a band?” miles cocked his head. “no earth’s mightiest-“

“who the hell cares!”

you flinched at the boom of miguel’s voice and slinked back into the dark shadows by hobie. automatically he threw an arm over your shoulder and pulled you to his side.

“someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” he muttered. you wanted to comment but felt if you even made a peep miguel would be on your ass. hobie, always the kind friend, noticed your silence and slipped your headphones back on. you didn’t need music at the moment just something to muffle the noise.

eyes watched how miguel and miles spoke. their bodies tense, miguel using his looming height advantage to have more authority. mile's lanky arms fling about and look from gwen to miguel. with your headphones, you couldn’t hear, but you saw how miles turned around and his face was graced with a smile as he ran to someone.

“oh great. humbling reality spider-man has joined.” hobie’s words muffled before you made your ears free again.

you saw peter parker, peter b parker, as he liked to be called. he and miles shared a hug and you started to look at the walls and ceilings.

“why do you have a baby carrier?” miles pointed at the carrier peter always wore.

“mayday!” you squeal when you see her crawling your way. the two of you were well acquainted since you’ll babysit for peter and mj on short notice. or whenever really, they were such a kind family.

the little bundle of joy yipped when you crouched to her level and pulled her to your chest. her tiny hands setting on your shoulders as her blue and green eyes darted over your face. a gloved hand smoothed some of her flyaways and wind-swept hair.

“you have a baby!” you heard miles. “i have a baby! yeah, it’s crazy kid.” peter sighed.

“how’s my favorite web crawler? huh? causing trouble for your dad?” cooing in a baby voice. pretending she could understand every word and would reply in detail about the chaos she brings. you pinched at her chubby cheeks.

“can we get back to business? serious business?” miguel always brings the mood down.

“you are the only serious spider person. we’re supposed to be funny. throwing quips as we punch bad guys.” peter grumbled and made a mocking tone of miguel. he looked about ready to send everyone away.

“lyla, do the thing.” the computer teased miguel for a moment before doing the thing he asked. she pulled up the web of life and destiny.

“it’s called something very scientific, but i like to just call it the spider web. short and simple.” a side comment to miles. “cool.”

“these are canon events. things that can’t change no matter what or the universe collapses.” getting bit by the spider. uncle ben dying or someone close to you. a captain saving a kid but getting killed in the process.

miguel showed different versions of spider-man in those different scenarios. he specifically showed the spiders mourning the death of captain stacy.

you pressed mayday’s head into your shoulder, not wanting her to see this. you turned to gwen and saw her poker face, but you could see the emotion swimming in her irises. she hadn’t been back to her dimension in a while, always crashing in different spots.

“miles,” you looked away as you bounced the child, “what you did back in pavitr’s reality, it broke canon. that’s what caused the black hole and hopefully, we can stop it. but it doesn’t always happen.”

you felt eyes on you. you didn’t like the sudden attention. but you were starting to get why jessica brought you here. why miguel pointed a finger at you to miles confusion. he wanted you to be on his side.

“y/n… do you want to tell miles what happened?” you ignored him. playing with mayday, knuckles caressing her rosy cheeks. “y/n… the kid needs to understand the importance.” you sighed and pressed a kiss to mayday’s temple.

“understand what?” miles walked closer to you. “y/n? what happened?”

you licked your lips. “my reality is gone. i… i got to love my gwen stacy. i didn’t lose any family or a captain who i was bickering friends with. i- i got to have it all. i ‘broke’ canon, but i don’t believe that crap.”

“y/n…” miguel had a warning tone.

“everything was wonderful. not once after each event happened a giant hole formed until one day it just did. it was just a normal day. gwen and i were having a date at this ice cream shop she loved, she looked so pretty. she always did. we were walking towards the met since she kept saying we needed to visit more.”

you raised mayday above you and flashed a toothy smile. she giggled and you pulled her close to rub noses. a sigh as you continue your story.

“it- it just happened out of nowhere. i can’t even place what the cause would have been. one minute it’s a normal day and then next a black hole a few blocks away which then changed into… reality being eaten away.”

you didn’t notice the tears falling until little hands touched your cheeks. mayday stared and baby babbled. a hand to your shoulder, peter giving a pitying look. you handed his daughter back to him and wiped your tears. done with talking, but miguel finished the story.

“they already had a watch and when i noticed what was happening and the rate it was destroying everything… i managed to pull them out in time. they are the last remnants of their home reality.”

it was quiet. no one was speaking and it still felt too loud.

“but… what’s this got to do with me?” happy that miles pulled the attention back to him.

“you are the first anomaly.” miguel voiced. “your spider bite wasn’t from your dimension, you already had a spider-man. and yet somehow… everything is fine.” he seemed pissed at the simple fact.

“miles in two days your dad is gonna become captain.” gwen spoke. her tone seeping in sorrow.

miles looked around. his face scrunched in confusion and growing anger. then he did another look at the images of different peters with captain stacy. his face was dropping.

“your- you're saying i just have to let my dad die? to- to avoid reality crashing? cause it’s a- a canon event?”

“yes,” miguel replied as if that didn’t sound crazy.

miles turned to gwen, “your dad. he’s a captain right?” she nodded. “you’re just, what? just gonna let him die?” her eyes fell to the floor.

“we have to do things to keep reality stable. it’s not always pretty, but it comes with the cost of being spider-man. you can’t have both.”

“i can! i know i can! i can be spider-man and miles!”

your senses went off just a bit and you took account of all the people starting to crowd the room. this felt wrong. it felt like a trap, and for once you're the bad guys. peter and gwen tried to calm miles down, he was understandably upset at everyone shouting orders at him. you wanted to pull miles away and hide the both of you from miguel and the others. this wasn’t right.

“this will hold you for a few days.” and miguel dropped one of his devices to the floor that changed to a red-screened cage.

“miles!” you rushed to the holoprojection and started to bang your fist along with miles. gwen and peter were bickering with miguel. and hobie popped up beside you with his palms facing miles with a knowing smile.

hobie pulled you away when you started to see the electricity start to spark. then suddenly there was a loud boom and explosion of air. everyone was swept off their feet. hobie was able to keep you upright.

miles stood free and looked at his palms as he panted. he quickly looked your way and you only could say, “run.” and he took off.

“no!” miguel roared.

he started to chase after him, but you shot a web to his feet to slow him down. his crazed eyes widened at your disobedience. “you have no idea what you’ve done.” he extended the red blades from his arms, cutting himself free and rushing out of the room with others following.

your chest was panting with fear and worry. you looked to hobie for help, but he stood in a portal and threw his watch away. “for the record i quit.” and he was gone in the blink of an eye.

you were the only one on miles’s side.

you shot web after web at different spider people. at their feet, wrist, faces, anything to slow them down and give miles enough time to form a plan and execute it. you tried to catch up to him, but a few people gave you a taste of your own medicine and fought you.

you were being held down by one of the many peter parker variants, “stay out of our way!” he shouted as he webbed you uptight. you struggled against the hold but it was no use. so you were left alone once the tower was emptied, you just hoped miles was okay.

you were sure how long you’ve been webbed up. your body started to get that prickly feeling when it wasn’t getting proper blood flow through the body. wiggling your body in the hold, hoping to loosen it, a voice called out.

“y/n?” eyes connected with miles who was hanging upside down on a web. one side of his suit was ripped, but he looked safe.

“oh thank goodness. i tried to catch up, but as you can see, i’ve been webbed.”

miles looked around. when he eyed you again he looked hesitant to free you, you understood. some of his friends that he’s known longer turned on him behind his back. but you knew he was a different case, miguel was just using this canon logic as a cover.

“go miles. i don’t want to keep you from getting home.” a reassuring smile to his tired eyes. but he didn’t leave, he started to pull at the webbing and helped you free.

“let’s go.” he led you to the go-home machine. he was able to go invisible as he worked the computers so you stayed on the ceiling in the dark shadows.

when the machine was up and running he hopped in and called your name. you looked to margo, spider byte, who was busy with lyla as the two tried to stop the stitching process. you dived in and stood beside him, the two of you getting anxious the longer it was taking.

“stop the machine!” miguel was charging forward. you knew margo shouted a comment back without hearing her.

the machine was getting closer, it was about eighty percent closed. you thought you were in the clear, but miguel sunk his blood-red claws into the threading and started to rip at it. you pushed miles behind you, “just let us go, miguel!”

“i can’t do that, y/n! why can’t you understand i’m doing this for everyone’s safety!” he growled. the threading was holding.

“because this canon shit is a lie! if miles wasn’t supposed to be spider-man, his reality would have broken a long time ago! you’re just trying to manipulate everyone!”

your body lifted into the air. it was time to leave. and just before you were gone, you did one more reckless thing. you tore the watch off your wrist and threw it to the ground making it shatter. you stared directly into miguel’s burning eyes.

“i quit.”

a/n2: i actually wrote a little more after this part, but it just didnt end off well. i wrote this from like the hours of 8pm to 6am (i did sleep a little in between dont worry)

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trekkie-polls · 4 months ago

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I’m a big fan of Prodigy and heartily recommend it! It’s on Netflix now.

I think in many ways it’s the best Star Trek continuation of the five newest Star Trek shows. It’s faithful to original characters, but introduces mostly new characters, aliens, & plots. Prodigy has more of an episodic/unrushed feeling, but still does continuity well. Somehow the show takes itself seriously & doesn’t at all take itself seriously. The characters are fun but also well developed and grow over time…

Anyway I’m almost done with the new episodes and will start releasing polls about them soon. I’m going to do my best to avoid plot spoilers. If you’re worried you can always block “prodigy season 2” & “prodigy spoilers”.

#star trek #poll #star trek poll #trekkie polls #prodigy #star trek prodigy

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fyodoro · 1 year ago

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𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧’ 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧’ - 𝐃𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐧𝐠

-> Dan Heng comforting his quiet s/o after they have a nightmare (req by @minimallyminnie)

-> I wanted to write this in a different way from all my other fics. I feel like most nightmare comfort fics have rose tinted lenses over them, so I wanted to take a different approach while also keeping a comfort factor.

Cw) nightmares (obv), implied/hinted ptsd, misunderstandings, nightmare remains vague so no spoilers here, cheating accusations, eventual comfort i swear (sorry minnie)

Dan Heng wouldn't say he sleeps good per say, but he wouldn't say he slept horribly either. Perhaps if he wasn't so alert in his sleep, he'd be able to wake up the next morning and tell March "I slept great."

But that wasn't to say he wanted to rid of that sense of alertness, not at all. In fact, in times like these, he was ever so grateful for training himself the way he has.

You stirred ever so slightly in your sleep. It was brief and quiet, but not to Dan Heng. He always focussed on your movements when you were near. From your body language, to the way you faintly tilted your head when something piqued your interest.

With all the attention Dan Heng given you, it was safe to say he had you memorized.

And the way you were currently stirring in the midst of your slumber was out of character.

It was brief at first, nothing that concerned the young man too much. But his concern grew just as gradual as your distressing movements.

What started as a light shake of the head soon turned into your body violently shaking as you clutched your pillow for dear life. Dan Heng watched over your sleeping frame cautiously, refraining from causing you any more panic incase you were to wake up.

It didn't take a genius to realize you were having a nightmare.

Soft cries emitted from your lips, almost inaudible. But to Dan Heng, they were as loud as the Astral Express making the jump.

He wanted to wake you up, he really did.

But he was aware of the risks of waking someone up from a nightmare, especially someone with your condition. It could be jarring, even making the episode worse in some cases.

He knew it was best to let you wake up on your own, but it didn't stop the way his heart clenched each time you hugged your pillow tighter than before.

“Dan Heng…”

His ears perked up at the sound of his name, were you… dreaming about him? No, it wasn’t a dream. It was a nightmare, that was made clear since his senses heightened.

But why would you be calling his name out in the midst of a nightmare?

“Dan Heng!” You jolted up, eyes wide and full of terror. You were panting heavily, as if you had just ran a marathon.

Dan Heng stayed near, examining your features just as he did many times before. He wanted to hold you, comfort you, tell you everything was going to be okay.

But he couldn’t.

If you had been having a nightmare about him, wouldn’t that be the last thing you wanted? The way you shook and avoided his gaze made him believe that was the case.

“I’m… I’m so sorry.” Dan Heng muttered under his breath. He knew deep down he didn’t do anything wrong, but he still felt the need to apologize for whatever his actions caused in your sleeping mind.

You didn’t respond. You were no longer panting however, rather, shaking anxiously. A chill ran up your spine.

It was a warm night.

“You- what did you—“ Your eyebrows furrowed, staring into the dimly lit void in front of you. “You didn’t… right? You couldn’t have…” Ah

Was he sure this wasn’t his own nightmare now?

“I was going to tell you… one day… I can’t run from it, can I?” His voice held hostility. Not to you, but rather, himself. He knew he would have to tell you his origins one day. But he never expected your own consciousness to tell you first.

“You were going to tell me what? That you were cheating on me?” Your voice cracked, refusing to believe that it wasn’t just a nightmare.

“What…?”

“Yeah, you can’t run from that, can you.”

“(Name) wait, you’ve got the wrong idea. I thought you were referring to something else.” He let go if his self restraint and finally reached out for you, only for you to swat his hand away.

“The wrong idea? What else could I be referring to!” You shouted.

“My past!” He yelled.

Dan Heng never yelled.

You went quiet, staring at him in shock.

It wasn’t like you were upset he yelled. More like… shocked. The guilt of your accusations hit you like a brick. But both of your reactions were justifiable to some extent. After all, you just woke up from a nightmare where Dan Heng cheated on you, just to hear him say it was true. On the other hand, he believed you were referring to something else entirely.

It was a confusing situation.

“I apologize- I didn’t mean to raise my voice like that.” He softened his voice, giving you a loving gaze you had almost forgotten about.

“I’m sorry too… I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that.”

You two sat in silence for a moment, a comfortable silence.

#honkai star rail #hsr #star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #star rail x reader #hsr x you #honkai star rail fluff #hsr fluff #dan heng #dan heng x reader #dan heng fluff #dan heng comfort #dan heng x you #dan heng scenarios #dor writes

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madockisser · 3 months ago

Note

Loved your analysis on the Greenbriar princesses, can you do one about Eldred, Taniot and Val Moren?

Eldred greenbriar, val moren, and taniot analysis!! Spoilers for tfota trilogy!!

thank you sm! and yes, gladly!

there is not very much about these characters (particularly taniot) but i’ll do my best!

eldred greenbriar, son to clovis greenbriar, and grandson to mab greenbriar. val moren is his lover, and taniot is his consort and mother to dain greenbriar, eldreds 3rd born child and 2nd son.

madoc says that in eldreds youth/younger days, he was a bloodthirsty sort of king, and that he did not allow “little fiefdoms” like he did in his elderly years.

as for his personality, i sort of imagine him as this wise, wary of life, old perv (LOL sorry) even tho i’m sure that’s not accurate. i just find it hard to imagine him having so many consorts (oriana,liri,asha and undoubtedly more) in his elderly years. either bro was a silver fox (ik he has corn colored hair but still a dilf ((or perhaps a gilf) is what i mean) or consorts are simply indifferent to his age(and aged appearance), and want to please their king (or gain some status or power, like asha)

he has 6 children, which for a faerie, is a LOT. jude says that most faeries don’t ever even have children, so obviously we can assume that he gets around a lot, or atleast he certainly did in his youth.

another note, and this could be nothing but i like speculating abt when he first started having children (but i overanalyze since faeries cannot lie and so everything they say must be taken literally) but he calls balekin “child” which could refer simply to the fact that yes, balekin is his child, or that balekin is significantly younger than him, and hasn’t reached that “adult faerie age” (whatever age that is) or (most likely) that balekin is acting like a child LOL.

he gives all of his consorts who bore him a child a string of emerald necklace (sugar daddy vibes, also another reason as to why he could have had so many consorts/ lovers)

it is to be noted that there is a difference between lovers and consorts, being a consort is like a job, whereas a lover isn’t really a status, more like a fling or a string of flings (which is what asha was. not a consort)

anyway, when cardan is born and him and baphen (the star prophet guy) go to see him, baphen tells eldred that cardan will be a menace pretty much, so then and there eldred just don’t gaf abt cardan.

“looking upon prince cardan was like looking at an uncertain future, so eldred avoided it” (not word for word but prologue of qon.

he was prob looking for a reason to cast him out cardans entire childhood, which is probably why he didn’t listen when cardan denied his killing of val morens lover.

we know that eldred had orbs that contained memories of his children in their youth, in one of them contained dain, elowyn and rhyia shooting apples, baby balekin, and another that contained baby cardan being neglected and learning from his mother that the only way to get attention was to hurt. apparently he cherished these memories, i can’t think of any other reason he would have kept them, except if they were gifts.

from the orb of cardans abuse, we can assume he probably has this really twisted outlook of family, that he doesn’t gaf abt cardan, and only views his children as political opportunities. seems like he probably only kept having kids bc 1, he needed an heir, 2, they were accidents, 3, he prob kept having them (and not getting rid of them the way dain did) to try to have as many options for a high ruler replacement and 4, again, the political advantages of having children that can charm the princess of the undersea, and etc.

now, we know he had laws in place to protect mortals to an extent, unfortunately we don’t know the details but we can assume they probably weren’t that great since mortals are treated like garbage more often than not BUT madoc says a lot of mortals are also treated well (coins in their pockets and such) but madocs idea of well is yk pretty iffy.

lastly, dain and his influence on eldred. we know dain was slipping eldred small amounts of poison to make eldred seem like it was his time to relinquish the throne to him, and we know dain was manipulating him into thinking all of his other children were out to get him and that he couldn’t trust them, (doesn’t sound that hard to convince him since balekin was doing that as well as dain) so dain must’ve had some dirt on caelia or rhyia that he shared w eldred (won’t go into that i already did a dain analysis 😭) but to me, it sounds like eldred was weak and desperate to just die already, or as the fae say it. “seek the land of promise” so he was willing to just believe it and let dain be king.

as for him being a father, the way his children tiptoe around him, the way they do as he says, and the way caelia protected him on dais, i believe his children grew to see him as weak, but were always too afraid to speak against him, and maybe just enjoyed the spoils of being royalty. this is just speculation, but it seems like there is a lot of manipulation and neglect on eldreds part obv, toward his children. based on a lot of factors, like how eldred threw cardan out of the palace, then expected him to be a proper good prince at dinner time when he was older, and the way caelia seemingly wanted his favor very much (see my princess analysis) etc, it seems like the relationships with his children are very hot and cold, he can favor them one second then throw them out the next. also the fact that he is high king, so he probably didn’t take the time to raise them himself and left them to a midwife, the mother, or just on their own.

as we see in tpt, rumors and little things affect cardans and oaks relationship very much, and eldred learned to distrust all of his children bc of dain, so we can assume that he didn’t think very well of his children, and didn’t have good relationships with any of them besides dain.

unlike the rest of his children, dain took advantage of eldreds growing weakness, seeing as dain had balls enough to start screwing his consort and to start poisoning and manipulating him.

moral of the story, eldred seems like a feeble old man, who is an abusive, deadbeat asshole, who only sees his children as vessels into political advantages. as for when he was younger who knows. maybe one day holly will write a short story about him(def not gonna happen).

onto val moren, val moren says that in his youth, eldred rode up to him on his horse and whisked him away to faerieland (kinda hot i would go too) but only after some serious manipulation. val moren says that he was so taken with him, that he would’ve burnt down his own families farm and mill just to have eldred touch him again. typical faerie x human stereotype ig

so they were lovers. eldred made val moren promise to renounce his humanity and act like a faerie for the rest of his life, which he agreed to do (sounds like grooming to me!) and then became his seneschal down the line.

also down the line, val moren had a mortal lover, and when dain killed that lover and framed cardan, val moren lost his mind and went mad with grief. years later he still blames cardan and “glares at him across the dinner table” according to cardans novella lol. poor guy been thru it

now at the dais, val moren is forced to crown balekin, and he’s all afraid, since his sugar daddy is freshly dead, killed by his own son. and now that eldred is gone it’s sorta like the one faerie that sorttaaa had his back and took him away to faerie land and probably like hand fed him berries or smth, isnt there to protect him anymore.

it’s also sad that he thinks that cardan killed his mortal lover and now balekin, who is like the older eviler version of cardan in his eyes, is killing his lover again.

after he is seneschal, and jude has replaced him, they have a little mortal heart to heart, except not rly. “i was fully grown when i came here” which is his explanation as to why he didn’t help Jude or Taryn, so ig he just didn’t understand them and he didn’t try to. yadda yadda yadda! he don’t like jude and he offers shitty faerie advice, then pities her when she’s all like “but eldies dead now! u don’t have to keeep acting like u ain’t got no humanity babe! our promise don’t mean shit!” bc ig he thinks that any human that lives amongst them oughta renounce their humanity too bc he prob thinks it’s the only way to make it, to survive living w them.

and he’s all like “damn i feel bad for u! never make a promise w those sneaky faerie fuckers! not a sexy one, not a funny one, not a small one or large one, and def not one that sounds pretty good!”

then later on says to jude “learn to juggle better than i did” which was referring to his job as seneschal, but i also included the fact that he has to juggle being eldreds lover, seneschal, lover to a mortal, all while trying to act as though he no longer had any humanity. then he went bat shit crazy w grief so there’s also that he had to deal with.

so yeah. he seems AWFULLY wary of faeries and their crap, and while it also seems he loved eldred, it seems a lot like a very painful sort of love.

i do think it’s sweet that he had a human lover despite renouncing his humanity, shows that faeries too can love humans.

now onto taniot. if you do not recall, taniot is dains mother, who i believe is only mentioned and shown once and it’s at her death scene. sad. now, taniot, being dains mother, the future high kings own mother, you would think that she would be well cared for and def not sacrificed at all.

wrong!

taniot is the 3rd to die on the dais, as balekin shows the crowd what it means to be lover of the high king, to be a pawn on the kings chessboard. to be used, and once fulfilled their duty, cast off the board.

before her untimely death however, she attempts to save elowyn, by staunching elowyns wound with her dress. then as she’s about to be killed, she clasps her hands together and in jude’s monologue, “goes to her death gracefully as though she has already passed onto the realm of death.”

she definitely saw this coming i would say. she probably knew what a monster she birthed, and if not that, then she knew what it meant for her to have borne the king his second son.

upon rereading her death scene, dain dies before she does, so maybe she loves dain enough to not see life as worth living without him, which explains the graceful, accepting way in which she dies.

since dain is 3rd born, she’s pretty fucking old. she’s probably seen the deaths of many lovers and consorts, perhaps knew of the cause of liriopes own demise, and definitely saw how asha was thrown into the tower of forgetting.

it sounds to me like she was tip toeing around eldred since bearing him a child. it’s almost like the things that have happened to other lovers and consorts are like warnings to her and the other mothers of the greenbriar family, perhaps to keep them in line.

it makes me wonder if a similar demise would’ve happened to oriana if it were not for madocs position. (i’m gonna make a short analysis on this bc it’s rly interesting to me!)

it’s like jude says in tcp in her monologue, “even the high king would find it distasteful to have your son take your place in a lovers bed.” i wonder if eldred were greedy, and killed lovers similarly to how dain killed liri, despite the different circumstances, perhaps eldred found it upsetting to see his consorts move on, and so he simply rid of them so as to not bear the humiliation of it. (though i know faerie isn’t quite like that, how everyone pretty much screws each other without a care, things are different for a king)

but yeah! poor taniot, poor val moren, and screw eldred tbh! he’s revealed to be an asshole even after his death, so damn!

anyway thank u for the ask! i rly like doing these, even if i am just screaming into the void, it actually helps me during my rereads, just to understand the character a little better!! 🫶🫶

sorry for how messy this is!

#tfota #the cruel prince #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #holly black #the folk of the air #tcp #madoc #eldred greenbriar #val moren #taniot #dain greenbriar #balekin greenbriar #prince dain #cardan #jude x cardan

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valc0 · 8 months ago

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Hannibal rewatch and Baldur's Gate 3 ramblings

I recently re-watched the first season of Hannibal after almost 8 years and since I’m now deep into another fandom (BG3) I analyzed some of the themes of the show and how parts of it could tie in with the story of the game, particularly when it comes to the Dark Urge.

I’m also doing a review because why the hell not. I divided the text into sections for convenience, so if you want to read only the review or are exclusively interested in my speculating ramblings on BG3 you can easily do that.

It’s a long one so let’s start.

REVIEW

THIS REVIEW IS NOT SPOILER FREE AND WILL GO INTO GREAT DETAILS ABOUT THE TWISTS AND PLOT POINTS OF THE SHOW.

If you didn’t watch it and you like thriller/crime/horror please do yourself a favor and watch this show now!

I’ll start by saying season one, to me, is almost perfection. It’s 13 very well crafted and acted episodes and almost none feel like filler (almost but we’ll get to it). The crime of the week structure is integrated with the horizontal themes of the season seamlessly and the story avoids exploring too many parallel plots, making the theming very cohesive.

I remember watching this show for the first time and finishing season 1 in about 2 to 3 days, but I’d never think the same would’ve happened a second time. The first 5 episodes had me in a clutch from the start. Every character is fleshed out and extremely well written, the acting is impeccable, the writing is phenomenal and the visual, even when getting symbolic, never seem gratuitous or nonsensical in their use of analogies and dream-like visions.

The photography is also phenomenal, with great use of contrast that makes the image and scene clear even though it's set in the dark or at night.

If I had to rate the season I think I’d definitely give it a 9/10, and the 9 is only because of two small things that I figured I’d get out of the way first:

(I must remember whoever is reading this that these are my opinions, they don’t mean to offend anyone else differing opinion. You’ll see what I mean in a second.)

Alana Bloom x Will Graham is forced, comes out of nowhere, and makes Will act out of character most of the times.

I’m not getting into ship-fighting, this is not about shipping, I like Hannigram but I have no dog in this fight so this is totally not about it. Episode 8 is great, it has one of the best kills in the whole season and Will deteriorating stability makes for great lines and visuals, other than a lot of tension since he can no longer be predictable and ends up disrupting Hannibal plans.

And though I could attribute the way he acts towards Alana as something he does because of this deteriorating mental state, it doesn’t really feel like it. He seems very present during those scenes and acts weirdly romantic for the reclusive stray-collector, whose primary hobby is fishing and who’s been plagued by visions of death in the past episodes.

I would have rather see them to grow more of a non-romantric connection that may or may not have become romantic in later seasons. It all seems a bit rushed imo.

I also know they are setting up the Alana x Will x Hannibal. Which I’ll be honest I don’t remember liking the first time I watched it...but we’ll see.

2. Episodes 9 and 11 slow the show and kind of drag the pace.

Episodes 9. The totem of bodies is a very striking and memorable visual, but the crime in itself is very bland and the killer only gets a 5 minute scene towards the end which is anticlimactic and kinda too much tell with too little show. It’s honestly a shame because the murders in the previous episodes were very well crafted and paced. This one, not so much. I understand the need to connect the themes of “legacy” and “family” with Abigail’s actions but I feel like there could have been better ways to do that in previous episodes.

Episodes 11. I loved the whole Chesapeake Ripper fake-out, but I’ll be honest I don’t think I needed a whole other episode of Abel Gideon’s story. Didn’t really care for the plot of this and the pace was a little too slow. Good things about this episode are the ending with Hannibal at his most manipulative, and the fact that it starts Chilton’s comedic chain of misfortunes– which cracked me up the first time I watched the show because come on!! this guy is awful and can’t catch a break, you love to see it.

Now that the “bad” is out of the way let’s talk about the good, which is honestly everything else.

Episode 1

Banger of a pilot. Everything for the rest of the show is set up in only 42 minutes if you can believe that. Characters are fleshed out, themes are placed, conflicts are started. By the end of the episode all you want is MORE. I have very little else to say other than the pacing of this one should honestly be studied, a lot of modern series would need the lesson imo.

Episode 2

Interesting case with a lot of great scenes that reinforce the characters and their relationships. You get a first glance at how campy? the show can be, which is honestly something I love, I’m kinda tired of the “realistic to the point of boredom” trend I’ve been seeing lately. Freddie Lounds is properly introduced as the disrupting force she is and we get a jumpscare that made me curse. Sorry, did I forget to mention I’m watching Hannibal and I cannot stand horror? Lmao

Episode 3

LOVE this episode, the way this show makes you feel powerless as you watch the events unfold knowing full well what is happening and who is responsible...amazing! I love Abigail’s character and the very innocent and pristine way she is portrayed when you know later on the truth will come out is chilling.

Episode 4

I remember how grim I found this episode the first time and the feeling returned the second time around. Hated the killer with every fiber of my being and the fact that she kinda looks like Catherine Tate made me die a little. Also the scene of Hannibal making himself a family through gaslighting and creative use of drugs and lies was amazing.

Episode 5

I loved this crime and the way the episode paces the killings. The angel symbology was great, I’m a sucker for catholic and religious themes tied into vicious crimes. The series also introduces Bella, Jack’s wife, which I’ll be honest I don’t remember having a good ending...I don't remember exactly how, but I know I will cry.

Episode 6

Favorite episode by far, the tension in the flashback scene is palpable and when you see Miriam looking at the sketch with the silhouette of Hannibal pacing towards her in the background AAAHGGG- RUN Miriam OMG! This is the episode where you realize how absolutely scary Hannibal’s physicality can be. Mads Mikkelsen is 1,83 (5ft 11) but he feels like a giant in those scenes, like you can do shit about it.

Episode 7

The episode’s case is a botched transplant one and it’s just okay, nothing too spectacular, but the way this series makes me hungry should be concerning, since I just watched Hannibal kill and butcher people who slightly wronged him to make a feast out of them. I’m sorry, whoever is directing the shooting of the food is doing a good job, okay?

Episode 8

My second favorite episode yay! I love this kill because it’s so over the top. Also the visual of a person played like a cello is haunting just as much as the sound they decided to give it. “He had to open you up to get a decent sound out of you.” okay Will go off?!?! A bit sad they took this murder from Hannibal since I believe it was his in the books, but the end fight was worth it (though when Tobias started swinging his impromptu cello string weapon I did cackle because omfg calm down)

Episode 9

See section above

Episode 10

I shat myself watching this episode with all the horror vibes I’m dying please, I’m watching this through my fingers like a baby. I did love this episode though, and the final twist of Hannibal going to such lengths to be sure he leaves NO ONE behind is terrifying. Dr. Sutcliffe even agreed with him and didn’t show signs of wanting to betray or rat him out, and yet in the big scheme Hannibal still found it better to kill him. Scary stuff.

Episode 11

See section above

Episode 12-13

Putting these together because they are the finale and are closely linked to each other. There is no real “crime of the week”, though Georgia Madchen dies at the start of episode 12 and Abigail...dies at the start of episode 13. Will continuously declining psyche is very well portrayed, you really feel powerless with him as his brain keeps betraying him over and over at the worse possible times. Also Hannibal fake-empathy is so uncomfortable to me...knowing the lengths he’d go to manipulate the situation after seeing all the “behind the scenes” is chilling. All in all it’s a good finale though it really doesn’t feel like one. By the end Will managed to see Hannibal’s true colors, but I don’t think he’ll fully understand what he’s fighting against until he actually sees Hannibal in action, so it does feel inconclusive in a way. We do get Hannibal funny naked fursona is all its glory though so, big happy for me!

Now let’s get in my current fixation and tie in some of the themes of Hannibal with Baldur’s Gate 3. YAY!

BALDUR’S GATE 3 – Dark Urges, Bad Dreams and Worse Influences

Let’s get something out of the way first.

The Dark Urge is a very flexible and versatile character which is mostly – if not completely– shaped by the player. We get to decide if they refuse the Urge, with the bittersweet realization they still took all those lives and will have to deal with that guilt. OR we could make them machines of slaughter and death, embracing their father’s plan for them to be the killer they were made to become.

There are other variations of this and from what I’ve seen many Durges have very different characteristics depending on how the player interpreted and played the game.

This to say, all of the following dissertations on BG3 and the themes of Hannibal are my personal view of MY Durge or the way I see the character in general, which is extremely personal and could crash with someone else’s interpretation or headcanon. Keep that in mind while reading, if you see me using absolutes or if I forget an “imo” at the end of a sentence, remember this is ALL In my opinion, none of this is to be considered as a general and all-encompassing statement for every Durge out there.

That said, you’ll be surprised to know in my interpretation the Dark Urge isn’t Hannibal, what’s funny is that the Dark Urge isn’t Will either.

Durge is both characters at the same time, and depending where they are in their journey, this may change.

In the case of Will, towards the end of the series you get a more “start of the game” Durge. The memory loss, the confusing thoughts, the haunting dreams and then this weird hellish creature (Sceleritas Fel) guiding them. By this point Durge is still a victim of their circumstances, they can’t really grasp who or what they are and their mind is in complete shambles.

I can see a Resist!Durge in this scenario, someone completely horrified by their actions starting to question who they are, what they did, and if they can ever change. This point in the game isn’t spelled out as much, the narrator often refers to it but the real extent of psychological damage a Resist!Durge must face is left completely to the player’s interpretation, that’s why I think Will is such a great starting point to understand and visualize the character of Durge from a distant POV.

With Hannibal you get a more pre-tadpole pre-Orin-meddling Durge. Someone who knows what they’re doing and how to get what they want. I personally never saw my own Durge as this calculating, something in the feral way the Urge gets to the character in game made Hannibal a tad too composed to fully be an inspiration for Durge, but I’ve also seen other people Durges as cool and collected killers, and the comparison in that case works really well.

Another interesting characteristic of Hannibal we can see in Durge is the twisted way he thinks in relation to others. Hannibal calls himself Will’s friend, and I believe he’s genuine in his affection since the way he helps Will is in done in earnest.

This helping though, it’s monstrous in all sense. Hannibal lies, literally gaslights Will, meddles with his head and denies him medical help. He manipulates him into killing, only to watch what unfolds simply because he needs someone who understands him. By dragging Will deeper into his world and making him a killer, Hannibal cultivates what he perceives as Will’s true nature and potential, making the man a suitable friend for himself.

It speaks to Hannibal narcissism that he would consider helping someone as making them more like him. But then again that’s also why Hannibal is so drawn towards Will, because he thinks differently and he IS different from him. He doesn’t have the same amount of interest or even respect for someone like Tobias, who’s probably the most Hannibal-like killer we get to see in season 1.

He needs the challenge, he needs to feel in control. And ultimately, though not in an usual sense, Hannibal needs a friend. He is lonely.

This works a lot for Durge in the sense that they may or may not corrupt people around them. As a player we get the choice and power to influence how companions act and react, and this kind of duality of “I like them, I want to help them” and “I want to make them like me” is a good motivation to give a Durge who may, for example, ascent Astarion, or turn Shadowheart more towards Shar, or give Gale a power complex (more so than he already has) ect.

BONUS! And then came Durgetash

In episode 1 Hannibal visits Will and brings him breakfast. While they chat in a honestly beautifully lit scene, this exchange happens.

Hannibal: You know, Will, I think Uncle Jack sees you as a fragile little teacup. The finest china, used only for special guests. Will: How do you see me? Hannibal: The mongoose I want under the house when the snakes slither by.

Did I mention I love Durgetash? Did I mention I go completely feral over unhealthy dynamics and specifically this kind of dynamic?

“The mongoose I want under the house when the snakes slither by.” is an amazing line for Gortash because I do believe the reason he wanted Durge to side with him was that Durge was extremely good at being undetected, and even more so skilled at killing the right target at the right time.

I love the idea of Gortash using Durge as a shield/weapon, and Durge using Gortash to economically sustain and socially shield Bhaal’s cult. I love to think their relationship was born because they were useful to each other and that in this completely selfish ecosystem they somehow found company.

Because I’m sure Durge pushed back. I’m sure they realized they were being used and didn’t like it one bit, and Gortash kept Durge around even though they may pose a threat, for the same reason Hannibal keeps running circles around Will. Gortash needs a challenge. Being head of Bane’s cult means that other than his God, no one else is above him, and I think a man who’s been fighting his whole life to gain control would feel a bit lost when this control is automatically given to him without a fight.

In the same way I think Durge would yearn for something more, something different than what they’re stuck with, which is a dying cult forced to hide beneath the city, and a jealous and over-zealous sister who I’m sure tries to kill them once a week. I think they would get pulled in by the promises Gortash would make. To rule together, above ground, for once not having to hide, getting back the power Durge feels like belongs to them.

The similarities I found between these characters are way more than these but I think I’ll have to make a part 2 of this once I’m done re-watching season 2. I’m aware the series has been out for a while and I’m sure people already made way more interesting and in-depth analysis. I still hope you liked my little morning ramble that turned in a full on essay on the subject.

Thank you for reading!

#bg3 #hannibal #the dark urge #baldur's gate 3 #nbc hannibal #durgetash #hannigram #i love murderous idiots what do you want from me

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ta5tier · 5 months ago

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isat thoughts, go

[this ask is actually an excuse to ramble about whatever thing you can't get someone else to prompt you to ramble about]

i just woke up so this probably wont be too coherent but here we go!

I, like many, discovered ISAT through @jelloapocalypse’s fantastic video on the game, and by that I mean I watched the first 5 minutes of the video and immediately stopped and played the game myself.

I already liked time loops as a literary device, especially in games (outer wilds rocks, 12 minutes is interesting despite the general quality, etc) but ISAT managed to get me interested in the story and its characters before even introducing time loops as a mechanic. (Y’ALL I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR ISABEAU TO JUST COME OUT SWINGING LIKE THAT! I clocked that motherfucker before the gang even left dormont, he isnt smooth.)

ANYWAY besides the great character writing, ISAT also managed to nail its genre parody right off the bat, the literal RPS combat is so funny, Mirabelle gives off such RPG protagonist vibes, and its a neat take on the genre to center the narrative around the “edgy”rogue (HA Scissors pun). Along with the fact that Siffrin is absolutely the right amount of mentally unstable, you have all the perfect ingredients for great genre deconstruction.

Spoilers Under the Cut So be WARNED

There are tons of people talking about the story beats further so i’m not gonna spend more time here reinventing the wheel, but something I will talk about is how the game leverages ludonarrative assonance, I.e. how the game reflects the experience of the player as a part of the story.

In the case of ISAT, this manifests as the growing boredom both the player and Siffrin experience as they continue through the loops. On my first few loops I took care to avoid skipping dialogue and made sure my party was leveled up enough to succeed at any of the fights they faced. I explored thoroughly and enjoyed the process of doing so and I only reset when the game asked it of me.

But as the game continued I found myself zoning out of more and more dialogue, skipping more and more fights, and resetting whenever it would save me time. And Siffrin was with me all the way through all of it, his internal monologue growing increasingly disinterested with the affairs of his party members and the dangers they were in.

Ironically, in a game so outside my lived experience I found myself mentally aligned with Siffrin in a way that's frankly a little concerning. (im ok im not in a time loop lol)

The magic of ISAT for me was in that alignment, of feeling a shared purpose with a character, and in the breaking of that alignment in the games later acts. One of my favorite moments in any story is when I realize I can no longer fully root for the main character. Siffrin's last loop was that moment for me and I loved it. Siffrin's final trek through the House is so awful to watch but also represents the logical conclusion of his decent. The witty commentary is gone, his family is gone, the muscle memory that he and I shared in navigating the house is no longer reliable. Its all no longer necessary.

In Siffrin's mind, whats left of them isn't worth saving. And then finally, agonizingly, they are saved. Despite his best efforts to self destruct, his family come for him and they're mad and they're scared but they do it anyway, even when the world is ending around them.

Anyway yeah i love this game so much Siffrin is Stars' most mentally unwell soldier and i love them and their stupid family so much.

#in stars and time #isat spoilers #isat #this isnt even getting into loop and everything about them affasdfhasjkfas

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yandere-kokeshi · 2 years ago

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Yandere Obanai Iguro Headcanons

Warnings: Yandere behavior, spoilers for his mask, punishments, and stalking; lmk if I missed anything.

Authors note: Obanai is one of my favorite characters so this may be a bit longer; I also do not own this character!

Rarely, does anyone he encounters or secretly watches is worthy of his time; yet… you, the most prized, kind, and the lovely person he’s ever seen, wrapped his heart in tight strings, making him fall for you. Getting his attention is quite a hard thing to do, but once he realized the feeling of butterflies hitting everywhere in his stomach, making him sweat profusely and act ‘awkward’ around you; almost acting like a different person.

At first, Obanai will try his best to avoid you or rather not let you see him. Not because he hates you or dislikes the emotions that are coming forward, but rather because he believes that he might not be the best decision for you; his clan following him like a trail of blood with an eminence feeling of guilt. He’s rather insecure about his past, including his wide mouth that he rarely shows. He fears you’ll hate him, causing him to make sure you see him as ‘normal’ and ‘human-like’.

Of course, this shows that he’ll be stalking you like no other, watching you from afar in awe, a small smile projecting on his face under the mask. Much like the other Hahsira’s, he will try to find out everything about you: likes, dislikes, pet peeves, and many things that’ll make you happy. Once he does find out, Obanai is leaving small gifts on your doorstep, hoping you’ll like the clothing, hand-written notes, and flowers he left for you.

If you decide to have a crush on someone, or someone has the urge to pursue a relationship with you (romantically), they are immediately taken down by Obanai. Either, he would try to find information that they wouldn’t want anyone to know, blackmail them to never be around you or, threaten them and belittle them to the point they’re scared to be even around you.

This also goes along the same line of your loved ones, not that he enjoys seeing you happy and content with your loved ones, he just has high paranoia about anyone that’s around you. He believes that they’ll take you away from him, possibly stealing you away forever and completely forgetting about him; in which, he fears highly. In this case, if he sees you getting hurt (verbally, emotionally, or physically), they are getting hurt and killed in the most gruesome way.

Most likely, the way you caught Obanai’s attention was the fact that you were a strong Hashira; you had a kind, caring, and gentle personality that drew his attention. You treated him like a human being, something that he wasn’t used to. You always tried to talk to him, in which he'd always blow you off: “Leave me alone, you’re annoying.”

Yet, you continuously approached him, even when he spewed out threats that would hurt people and lead them to tears. But, now, since you’ve caught the eye of a snake, he becomes extremely protective of you, even if you’re a Hashira.

Obanai knows you aren’t weak, you’re a Hashira for damn sake; but the moment he starts to realize he loves you, your privilege as a Slayer is quickly stripped away. Either, he would come up with an excuse to Oyakata-sama about needing you to stay home; resulting in you ‘retiring’. Or, force you to quit by guilt-tripping and manipulating you.

Even though Obanai is very possessive of you, he wouldn’t kidnap you unless you were hurt very badly. Whether that’s you tripping and breaking a leg, someone assaulting you or almost getting eaten by a demon: Obanai would only take severe precaution if needed. He knows what it’s like to be caged inside a box, which he doesn’t wish upon you at all. But, he will manipulate you to keep you home as much as possible, using the excuse: “I can save you if any problems come forth. You have everything you want here, right? So why not stay to keep yourself tight, I’m only doing this to protect you. I love you, you’re safer here.”

Though, if you were to get hurt and end up in the Butterfly Estate with multiple injuries, Obanai is sitting right next to you, holding your hand, planning a way to get you ‘home’. Once you’re awake, he’s right beside you, ordering you to never scare him like that again: “Since you were hurt badly, Master has made it clear you’re retired. You’re not leaving without me anymore, it’s final.”

Back on the track of manipulating, he would order you around to stay by him at all times. This includes ‘accidentally’ slipping into a relationship with him and moving in with him; controlling you from the moment you step foot in your now-shared home.

Obanai’s yandere tendencies consist of being very overprotective, paranoid, semi-worshiping, and possessive. He’s always watching over you, paranoia covering his thick skin as if someone will come into the home and steal you away. Rarely does he allow you to leave the house, at least without him that is.

From his experience, he knows you need sunlight to function. He would allow you to come out, shop, and eat out at your favorite restaurants as long as he’s alongside you. Of course, anyone who dares to eye you is immediately stared down by him.

His biggest problem is his insecurity, fearing that you’ll abandon him and betray him like everyone else. This makes the affection between the two of you (at times) very confusing, he will believe he’s not good for you, pushing you away to the point of desperation of physical contact. Then, other times, he wants a cuddle session the moment he comes home, bringing you in a tight embrace whilst he smells your hair.

Because of his insecurity of his body and face, he would never ever drop off his mask around you, scared you’ll run away once you see it. But, when it comes to a year within the relationship, he’ll allow you to pull it down, unexpected by the gentle kisses plastered on his face given by you; it may lead him to tears.

The punishments you’ll receive are pretty slim in advance; he hates hurting you in any way. Normally, if you decide to act out, he would either ignore you or lecture you to the point you’ll feel bad.

Throw insults towards him? He’ll bluntly ignore it. He’s heard those before, it doesn’t affect him as much as it did when he was younger; go ahead, he’s heard worse.

If you decide to try to break out or try to hit him? He would be annoyed and hurt. Of course, he would snap at you… yelling at you as to why ‘are you stupid?’ or ‘try that again and see what happens next.’

However, the most he would do to ‘hurt you’ is when you escape; bruising your wrists. Either after he finds you stumbled into the dirt outside or he catches you before you make it out into the woods, Obanai is yelling at you and dragging you back to your shared-room. You’d have a few scratches from trying to get away and the now reddish-bruise forming on your wrists from him dragging you inside.

You will be spoiled with everything you want if you act good. You want jewelry? You have a basket full of it, plus that haori you wanted. You love to read? You get as many books as you want, letting you admire the book cover as he blushes at your happy face. Whatever you want, is yours; all he asks in favor is you allow him to cuddle you, get many kisses and hugs from the desperate snake Hashira.

—

Masterlist || Please consider reblogging and commenting instead of liking, stay well!

Do not plagiarize, repost, modify, translate or copy my work.

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verrixstudios · 5 months ago

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Guys omg I changed my mind give me your tribe head canons to doodle I’ve been spending more time on tumblr and seeing some headcanons already and they look so cool omgg

I don’t know how many I’ll do or how often I’ll do them, but I’m really curious about all the headcanons you guys have, especially when it comes to the differences between tribes, individuals, families and etc.

KEEP IN MIND:

I still haven’t reached the third arc so I don’t actually know anything about the tribes in the other continent, since I do my best to avoid spoilers, I am actively reading the series and have reached the second arc but haven’t been able to read much lately since I’ve been busy and for lack of the actual books since they’re usually checked out.

Also I’m probably going to do these out of order like the oc descriptions. I also won’t be making the a consecutive series cause I like my sanity and drawing my ocs (actually now that I’m thinking about it maybe I could draw my ocs with the head cannons, we’ll see) and whether I draw them or not doesn’t necessarily mean i agree or disagree with the headcanon or anything it’s more just what i felt like drawing and what might push my ideas or practice more

TLDR: send me your headcanons (preferably in my asks so they’re all in one place) and I’ll draw or doodle them

#wings of fire #dragons #nightwings #icewings #rainwings #seawing #mudwing #design #art #requsts are open #request #random tags here #I don’t understand tumblrs tag system #skywings #haha I forgot them #anyways yipeee dragons

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queenwille · 2 months ago

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IDF: Israeli Defense Forces

Defending themselves from what? Displaced Palestinians hiding out in buildings? The children?

Cause last I saw, Palestine weren’t the ones with white phosphorus missiles bombing Israel every other day and wiping out the population,

wait wait wait, let me start at the very beginning- your question about what does israel have to defend itself a is joke, right…? please tell me you did not come in here to waste my time without doing the bare minimum and research something. you owe me that much if you’d like me to take you seriously.

look, idk at which point did you tune into the west’s favorite reality show which is the middle east crisis, but i honestly don’t have the time nor the patience to catch you up in all of the episodes you’ve missed up until now and that’s even if we only focus on the gaza area. what can i say, some of us were just lucky enough to be born into this. others, such as yourself, have the world wide web for free, go wild.

mmm values. that’s the thing, all those spicy stories you’ve mentioned there? y’all know about them, but you people never catch up about how the IDF took them one by one to military trail for misconduct. nah, why should you care about that part? it ruins your whole immature narrative about the bad guys, huh? y’all would rather stick to the pathetic narrative where this is a fairytale where there are big bad IDF monsters and poor little princesses to save. well, sorry, but life’s more complex than that. yep, the good guys can do bad things and the bad guys can actually not be just bad. it’s called real life. not one angry anon, like yourself, has ever asked me, or any other identifying zionist, what we think about any of those morally questionable issues, y’all just keep assuming what we think and dehumanizing us, but somehow we keep being labeled as the bigots over and over again.

i’m glad you’ve mentioned those tiktok dances because those are usually soldiers who don’t even fight in combat and y’all like to attack them online so much. many of them are not even armed. you know which other soldiers were unarmed? the female soldiers murdered (16, one of them by a doctor in captivity in gaza) or taken hostage (7, one rescued, one murdered, 5 still held hostage to this day) on october 7th. shocking, i know, but not all IDF soldiers are armed. did it matter?

me signaling? do you see me giving out random twitter posts by FUCK KNOWS WHO as valid sources? no? so no, i don’t take it as a valid source. sorry, friend. and my best bud al jazeera? besides the fact that they’ve been proven and, i believe, even admitted to exaggerating with their death tolls, they’re funded by the qatari government. i’ll let you google who qatar used to house before israel —— him and who else it supports financially (spoiler: both start with H). other than that, for good measures, when i’d like to give out a source, i usually avoid using, not only israeli sources, but also jewish ones. just looking out for all of my antisemites out there. 🫡

when did i call it an accident? find me one time time i referred to a palestinian death as an accident. go on, i’ll wait. that’s right, i didn’t. there is though, a difference i make between the people massacred on october 7th and people who get killed as a result of war and y’all never seem to like that. don’t get me wrong, i find both to be horrific, but there’s a very clear difference between being gunned down, raped, abused, mutilated, tied down with cables and more to getting hurt/killed as a result of being unfortunate enough to live at an active warzone. i say this btw about israelis who, unfortunately, got killed/hurt from the missiles fired from gaza during this war as well… and soldiers. it’s just not the same, i’m sorry. what happened on october 7th was purely dystopian and the fact that so many of you keep trying to deny/ignore/justify/compare it to anything else, despite hamas (unlike the nazis) not covering even one drop of blood shed or even part of their intentions, is really baffling. even more so in the 21st century when literally everything is at the palm of your hands. it truly is amazing how much you’re willing to ignore just to feed your white savior complex by patronizing and forcing your western white ideology on terrorist organizations such as hamas.

never have i said to mind your own business. i personally believe that it’s important to be informed and get engaged outside of your very own bubble. hell, i’m a SW student who majors in community work/activism. i do have a few questions though. do you do it cause you’re entitled to? i mean, because your taxes paid for it? so like, you paid a ticket for the show and now you deserve in? like when you vote for your favorite singer on the the voice? that’s the thing, many of you come in here, wanting your slice of the matter, while thinking that reading a little on social media is enough. it’s not. be respectful.

#ask #anon #israel #antisemitism #palestine #please read #this took forever

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alteon77 · 2 years ago

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Updated Masterlist of Writing and Art

About the writer/artist: I like to write and paint. My current obsession is Sandman, but I enjoy most fantasy fandoms as well as anime (I think I’m on season seven billion of One Piece right now 🤣). I'm also weird as they come (and awkward, too), so just please ignore my oddball (coughTERRIBLEcough) sense of humor.

On a more personal note, I have PTSD and suffer from severe manic depressive episodes. Writing and art are my most familiar coping mechanisms, and I need them like I need oxygen. Seriously, there were times in my life that knowing I had to finish a story or a piece of art was the only thing stopping me from ending up dead. So, I don't take part in fandom drama. Having my peace and protecting my mental health are very big deals to me, and I won't risk those for anything if I can help it.

As for my writing, it ranges from short one-shots to ridiculously long novel series. I use third person POV (on longer series) as well as second person (on shorter things). I also try to always exclude physical descriptions when writing main character OCs and assign them nicknames to avoid using Y/N. I love to read Y/N fics, but writing them makes me feel like I'm at work. And who actually wants to ever feel like they're at work when they're engaging in a hobby? Definitely not me.

Lastly, there's usually more stuff on my AO3 page than I have listed here, because I forget to post it pretty often. Oops. I'll get around to moving it all over one day. Probably. Maybe.

Feel free to leave an ask if you want or just drop by my DMs. <3

Artwork links are at the bottom of this list, so if you're here for those, that's where they are.

Sandman 'Verse

All the Precious and Fragile Things (so easily do they break)

After banishing his lover from the Dreaming for her betrayal, Morpheus learns that she is pregnant with his child.

And that she’s been captured by a revenge-seeking Alexander Burgess.

What the both of them are unaware of is that this will set in motion a cascade of unfavorable events, causing a chain reaction that threatens the whole of existence itself.

PART I: All of This Past

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

PART II: These Tender, Loving Mercies

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

PART III: When It All Falls Down

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

PART IV: The Dark of War

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Epilogue

Sometimes He's Sweet

Morpheus hates the holidays.

As excited as she seems to experience the mortal holiday, he's… less so. Much less so. With the entire collective unconscious contained within him, this time of year can be wholly overwhelming, a miasma of too much red and green, too much worry, too much loneliness, too much excitement, too many similarly themed dreams, too many similarly themed nightmares, and far far too many holiday songs. It all bleeds out from the collective unconscious into his own mind, sticks there like weeping sap to a tree until he feels half-mad with the unrelenting presence of it, with his inability to get free from its cloying trespass upon his very being.

This is just a little sweet fluff for the holiday season. It takes place between chapters 19 and 20 of "All the Precious and Fragile Things". No spoilers here if you've read that far!

The Dog Debacle (or how best to sneak a dragon into the dreaming)

Morpheus' daughter gets a new dog.

Well..... kind of.

That Familiar Feeling of Family (or how Hob Gadling ended up as an uncle to his stranger's oftentimes feral children)

It's a pretty universally known thing that families are just strange. As Hob is quickly figuring out, however, this little fact is magnified by AT LEAST a billion when the family in question is Endless.

(A lighthearted story in which Hob Gadling finds out his stranger has married, makes friends with a homicidal maniac/ruler, and manages to become an exemplary uncle to a pack of magically mischievous children. Really, now all he has to do is convince everyone to stop calling his and Dream's weekly meetups "playdates", and then his life would be practically perfect.)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

The Maker, the Muse, and the Sundered Song

In his temple, what remains of Orpheus waits in trepidation. Something is changing. Something that he knows might alter the very fabric of the world as he understands it.

Finally freed from captivity, Calliope struggles to make any meaningful changes to the laws that saw her bound and taken in the first place. When the strange woman appears on Mount Parnassus and offers help, Calliope knows she would be a fool not to accept it. Even if she thinks that she's being lied to.

Meanwhile in the peace of the Dreaming, Morpheus grapples with guilt over his son's fate. As he basks in the love of his new children, he can't help but to regret his own failings where Orpheus is concerned.

And as for May, she's really just got a job to do. And her own traumatic issues to deal with. And if it's all hella awkward because she's having to work alongside her husband's ex-wife, she'll see it done anyway. There's even the small possibility that she might eventually admit to Calliope the truth about her identity. That is if she can ever actually work up the courage to say it aloud.

Chapter 1

Nothing in This Closet but Boots and a Boy

Morpheus is wildly protective of his daughter.

That's probably bad for the boy in said daughter's closet.

AU's and Other Stuff in the Sandman 'Verse

Of Exes, Hellhounds, and Waffle Fries

Morpheus shows up to rescue the woman he probably loves (though he won't admit it) from hellhounds and ends up getting roped into helping with her family. This is one of those extras that doesn't fit into the main story, but it's fun, so I'm posting it.

The Bizarre Breeding Habits of Anthropomorphic Personifications

It's a tale as old as time.

Two idiots fall in love. Two idiots fall out of love.

Neither one of them is expecting a baby to come along and derail their unhappily ever after.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Original Fanart

I like to play around with different styles and to try new things with my artwork. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. I'm still learning, and I am so far from being a professional that it's laughable. But I only post things that I think look decent or that I think others might enjoy.

The Lover's Argument (Morpheus x oc)

Oneiros (Morpheus in Grecian garb)

Because I could not stop for Death, she kindly stopped for me... (Regency era Dream and Death)

#sandman fic #morpheus x oc #morpheus #morpheus x reader #morpheus fanfiction #sandman fanfiction #sandman oc #dream of the endless #dad!morpheus #dragons in the dreaming #preciousfragilethings #PFT #bbhap #fanart #fan art #alteon77 fan art

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halfmouse · 1 month ago

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After having seen the Descendants movies, and having a chance to let them soak in my brain, here are some thoughts (minimal spoilers):

🟣 Good music, good choreography, cool movies, cool characters.

🔵 Carlos was adorable. Cameron Boyce did a really good job portraying this guy and I think it was interesting that Carlos was afraid of dogs at first because I can totally see Cruella DeVil justifying her - ahem - “fashion choices” to her son by convincing him that dogs will eat him. I can also see her having the additional motive of “here’s a great way to scare my kid!”

⚪️ Speaking of Cameron Boyce and Carlos DeVille, I once again think the brief tribute in Rise of Red was the right thing to do. They didn’t recast him, they didn’t say he was “on vacation” or “in college”, they had that conversation (important to the plot) around the picture, saying that a crucial decision is “what Carlos would have wanted”. Sometimes it’s best to do the Doc Hudson and Mr. Hooper thing, and this is one of those times.

🟤 I think having the villains be various flavors of abusive parents and having the VK’s react in realistic ways to that (and, because each of them has their own circumstances, it’s not all the same Abused Kid template) was a REALLY good idea. It’s a great way to introduce these topics to kids, to show that good kids sometimes don’t have good parents, and that some people need help learning how to function but once they get that help they can start to do better things for themselves and others. It also is good to show that not everyone reacts to trauma the same way, but all traumatized kids deserve help to heal.

🔴 I have so many ships.

🟣 Dizzy is adorable.

🔵 Jane is adorable.

⚪️ The hair and makeup crews really did a great job. Every single character has amazing hair and makeup.

🟤 China Anne McClain did a good job as Uma, at every point in her arc.

🟢 Dude is adorable.

🔵 I like the emphasis on choices.

🟣 I have lots of headcanons. I will share them with you sometime.

🔴 It’s cool how many nods there are to the movies these are based on.

🟢 It’s also cool that this universe is kinda its own thing.

🔵 There are a few things that I would criticize, but most of those are things that, if I did, would be major spoilers, and I’m trying to avoid those here.

🟣 One thing I think I can say is that only including Aurora’s daughter is a missed opportunity, IMO.

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rockinlibrarian · 3 months ago

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Post-Umbrella Academy S4 Reaction Part Five, appropriately: On Love Triangles (spoilers under cut)

Man, that makes me feel compelled to add a Reaction Part to my projected six Reaction Parts, and then reorder them so Viktor's is seventh. Anyway.

So in this series of posts so far, we've had the Good, the Bad, and now we have the Incredibly Controversial. (We also had the Fandom and the Fix-it, but those didn't fit as nicely into that sentence).

I have a pretty nicely curated Tumblr dashboard. I only follow people I like, who have sensible things to say, and I try to avoid diving into tags and For Yous (which a remarkable amount of the time make no sense— when I do look at that feed, I see topics people I follow love that I have NEVER INTERACTED with. I tolerate these topics for the people I follow, why would I want to see more of those from strangers?).

Yet I have seen no middle ground on this next topic. Half my TUA mutuals are over the moon, half are positively livid.

And here am I in the middle feeling ACK.

I'm allowed to be in the middle, right?

Let’s dive into my opinions on (is this really a spoiler anymore here on Tumblr?) Five/Lila/Diego under the cut.

Yeah, it’s not my ship, and I would never have made the choice. I make no secret about my non-canon OTP, and Lila/Diego was the only CANON ship I ever found interesting enough to root for. I found Five and Lila’s best-frenemies relationship utterly delightful and I’ll miss getting to accept it as that and not the early stages of enemies-to-lovers. But from an in-story standpoint it does make perfect sense, even if it’s not a direction many viewers wanted it to go in.

Linking back to the Venn diagram I reblogged at the start of the Season 4 Discourse: “I liked it,” “It made in-universe sense,” “it made narrative sense.” Although, just to be annoying, the topic refuses to be sorted into even those categories nicely. Certainly most of us seem to disagree on which— if any of them— even apply.

Let’s take it one topic at a time. Viktor got a whole post to himself, so I need to give some attention to the other half of my favorite characters/OTP/most-commonly-POV’d babies, Five. You see, the most common complaint I hear about this plot development is that it’s totally out of character for Five. Five would never hurt Diego that way! Five is aroace! Five spent his life trying to get home to his siblings, he’d never give up and decide to stay in the subway! Since when would Five put romantic love over familial love?

I disagree. Maybe I’m wrong— many of the people I’ve seen making this claim have consistently written takes on Five that I very strongly adore. How could we disagree on whether or not the dude is in character here? But let me plead my case.

It’s true that Five is different this season, and not in a fun way. His feral-ness is one of the most delightful things about him in general, and it just…wasn’t there. But I think that’s a question for the “I liked it” portion of the Venn diagram (feral Five is so much more fun to watch than sad and tired Five) and possibly for the “narrative sense” portion (do you really want to abandon the the most popular qualities of a character just for the sake of realistic character progression?). It DOES make in-universe sense, because Five is depressed in season 4.

Think about where he is at the start of the season— and for the whole show before that. He spent his whole long, traumatic life obsessed with getting back to, with saving, these people, and all they have done in return is ignore him, yell at him, and blame him for things that weren’t his fault. Viktor my love not even you are an innocent here— sure you spent 17 years mourning him, but then when you finally get him back, you brush off or outright deny everything he ever confides in you, and then you abandon HIM for six years, and he was in the body of a minor at the time, he really could have used you by his side there! (My shipper heart insists his betrayal was the worst of all of them, and even platonically it very well could be).

These people he dedicated his life to turned out to not just be idiots (in his estimation), but they’ve gone and pushed each other— and him— away for six years. His whole life purpose had been to save them, and for what? For them to take it for granted, to squander their second (third, fourth…) chances at life complaining how life sucks and it’s probably Five’s fault? What did he do all this FOR, in the end? And what should he be doing with his life NOW? He’s lost his goals, his meaning. IT’S DEPRESSING DANGIT but it makes sense!

And then he ends up stranded in time. Again. But this time he’s with somebody else— an actual real-life friend instead of a figment of his imagination. He fell in love with Delores because they were partners alone in time— why wouldn’t it happen with a flesh-and-blood person, who can actually act in loving ways toward him? Okay, it’s his sister-in-law, but they’ve been lost for six years with no guarantee of ever getting back, she and Diego had already been on the rocks (I’ll get into her side of the thing farther down), and what does Five care about conventions like How to and not to act with one’s brother’s wife, anyway? He’s feral, remember? He’s not going to stop and say, “No, we can’t do this, it’ll hurt Diego’s feelings,” in this situation! They’re lost in time and all they have is each other!

And let’s examine the whole concept of Five in a romantic relationship to begin with. Obviously I’m not against the concept, because I ship him. It’s ridiculous on my part, because when I started reading TUA fanfic I honestly said, “Wow, it’s refreshing to have a character so impossible to ship as Five is— how many interesting GEN fics can this guy spawn?” and before I knew it I was shipping him with his adoptive brother. BUT. I have also fully embraced the popular headcanon that he’s ace (note: show-Five is not comics-Five in many ways, and this is one of them). Aspec, at least. (NOT aro: I don’t know how anyone can see the way he’s always talked about/treated Delores and not understand that he is absolutely a total romantic). Even in my shipping fics, he’s aspec— “Viktor-sexual,” I have called it even. He falls for his best friend, and his best friend only. And— if I can shamelessly quote one of my own fics here—

“Look, I was married to half a mannequin for thirty-some years, I may have a slightly different understanding of marriage than the average person….Yes, I said what I said. Delores is complicated, okay? There are facts, and there are truths. Facts are I created her out of the rubble of a department store and my own desperation. I know this, I do! But the truth is she loved me. She kept me alive, she lifted me when I would have given up, she fixed my mistakes but forgave me for them, she made me laugh and even laughed back at me. That's what marriage is to me. A partner through the twists and turns of life! It has nothing to do with desire and passion and sex.”

And that’s exactly what happened with Lila! They had become partners through the infinite twists and turns of a seemingly-impossible-to-escape life! I keep seeing “since when does Five think with his dick?” comments, but he WASN’T! It took nearly seven years of close proximity, you-and-me-against-the-multiverse partnership, and shared traumas to happen, and significantly, she made the first move. It absolutely holds up to my own personal headcanons of how Five interacts with romantic love.

And I feel like Five doesn’t really segregate different kinds of love. Romantic or familial, it’s all LOVE, right? We actually had this conversation in the comments of the above fic, “New World Symphony,” just days before S4 dropped: there’s a scene where Five completely confuses the others by explaining that he doesn’t think finding himself married to Viktor is weird because “you’re my brothers— that’s family; he’s my husband— that’s family too,” and JBD— who, I must point out, is not a Fiktor shipper— commented, “Aww, for Five, family is another word for people he loves.” And I thought that was a brilliant way to sum it up (funnily enough, I responded by referring to Five calling Lila “family” at the beginning of S3!). So when he finds the answer to getting home— is it really so hard to believe he doesn’t want to go back? Lila is family just as much as the others are, and LILA ACTUALLY SHOWS HIM LOVE, which is more than any of his adoptive sibs did for him for those first six years back. He was DEPRESSED in the real world, and now he’s HAPPY! Things change! Of course he dedicated his life to getting back home BEFORE, but like the first episode says, it was the Unbearable Tragedy of Getting What You Want! Now he knows better!

From an “In-show sense” standpoint. Maybe not from a “Narrative Sense” standpoint.

Let’s now try to discuss the state of Dilila, but more briefly. (This post is already 1800 words long). It made me sad to see what a mess their relationship had become in the past six years, and I thought it was kind of mean of the storyline to threaten to break them up, but after awhile, as we saw more of it, I had hope for them! I just rediscovered the “Into the Woods” soundtrack recently and suddenly they were reminding me of the Baker And His Wife— they needed to go Into the Woods--symbolically and literally—to be separated from each other, to learn new things about themselves, to yes even have an affair on her part— to appreciate what they had together, to rekindle their True Love. They needed to reevaluate themselves, each other, and their lives, and a separation would only help them to do so. (Now, when we talk about the in-characterness of it all, I DO question whether Lila was completely in character this season— but I mean, that’s part of it, IS she being herself? What does she NEED to be herself? She has to figure that out!)

And here’s where we get to the “Narrative Sense” problem, because that never had the chance to RESOLVE. Going back to what I said yesterday about the problem with The End— EVERYBODY HAD UNRESOLVED ISSUES, and SOME of them were too FRESH to be resolved! Who makes that narrative choice?!

I think narratively, it would work best if Lila and Diego reunited, appreciating each other all the more, and Five would let it happen because he’s primed to believe that being happy is too much to ask for, which is very sad but it works.

Except Lila never does make a choice, and Diego and Five die mad at each other.

Stupid ending.

But to be honest, maybe the writers didn’t want to make the choice because they couldn’t decide either. Narratively we’re rooting for Dilila, but from an in-show character standpoint, Lila and Five really are better for each other than Lila and Diego are. They’re on the same level. They understand each other in ways no one else can, being Commission Agents/murderers and having both been manipulated and betrayed by the Handler. They are matches for each other.

You know, I’m kind of annoyed by this fact. Five IS actually the better choice for Lila. I really want her to be happy with Diego but the facts are facts, she’d be happier with Five.

DANGIT I don’t even KNOW how to ultimately deal with them in the Summerland fix-it! I WANT Lila and Diego to reunite and also want Five to settle into a happy queerplatonic partnership with Viktor (I will DO MY BEST not to ship them in this fic, for the sake of everyone else who might want to read it, but that may be the extent of my best), but now I’m like is that really fair to Lila? UGH, RELATIONSHIPS!

I may settle for everybody taking a break from everybody while they work out their individual issues. (I did start writing a Diego and Kerry scene to immediately follow up the Five and Viktor scene I posted the other day, in which Kerry uses the Power of Autism to compel Diego to be introspective. Who knew.

“My brother stole my wife.” “Did she get free again?” “What?” “You said he stole her. Where did he put her?” “No, I meant he— they had an affair, he didn’t kidnap her.” “You said he stole her, but it sounds like she went with him because she wanted to, so that’s not stealing.” “It’s— why do you care?” “Because you’re not being accurate! He didn’t steal her if it was her choice to go!” “That—.” That made him very uncomfortable, was what that did. “Okay. My wife left me for my brother. That make sense to you?” She peered wide-eyed at him and started to open her mouth, so he added, “and yes she came back. Physically. But physically’s not the point.”

--snippet edited 12:46 ET 8/18/24 just because I actually wrote that final line and it gives the snippet more of a finished feeling so I had to add it. Anyway, so Diego ends up focusing on his issues with Always Being Second-Best at Summerland. If he learns to deal with his own insecurities, he could possibly even truly earn Lila’s love back! But first he has to deal with HIMSELF!)

Long story short, I did not hate this development, and the thing I liked least about it is tied to the thing I liked least about the whole season: if they'd only had time to resolve their issues before getting annihilated from existence, it wouldn't have been terrible! If THAT had been, then I'd be all for it!

I mean, mostly so. I'm still going to be a shameless Fiktor shipper, of course.

#the umbrella academy #writing #five x lila

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