#also there were no songs for diego or ben

[topperscumslut]

decided to play a fun lil game on personality database of “what taylor swift songs are the same personality types as the hargreeves siblings” (it’s actually very easy to find, just search “(your myers briggs and enneagram type) taylor swift” on pdb to find out which taylor swift songs fit your personality type) but luther is actually typed as an isfj 1w2 on there which i mean, i can see it, he’s an isfj fs but his enneagram is more confusing. i can see him as a 1, but the main divide between the votes were between 1w2 and 6w7, which i could also see for him, so i found this article about how to differentiate between a 1 and a 6 and from reading it he is CLEARLY a 6w7, NOT 1w2. anyway right where you left me is an isfj 6w7 song and now i am crying.

[christopher-the-cube]

Let me get this straight:

- there was no dance number

- barely any good songs

- no mention of the weird Korean ben with the side part

- Sloane and Ray were written off with one (1) line

- sure Ray walked out but why on earth did Sloane disappear if she was there with them in hotel oblivion I guess we’ll never know

- we were told Reggie erased everyone’s memories about Ben’s death but ??? it was physically impossible for him to have erased ghost Ben’s memory. Like, did Ben never discuss that with Klaus? It looks like he didn’t even realize it was Reggie who shot him, did he never ask Klaus how he died? 😭

- they showed us sparrow ben obsessively drawing Jennifer in s3, sort of insinuating he survived the Jennifer incident in the sparrow timeline but he straight up didn’t recognize her at all now? It’s like they were meeting for the first time?

- where did that subway even come from

- um. Five and Lila

- how the hell are their kids alive in the last scene if the siblings never existed

- why the hell are the Swedes and pretty much everyone from the commission there alive at the same time if they were meant to be taken from different time periods and that’s meant to be a true and pure timeline without any time travel whammy

- seriously wasn’t there a scene with an old timey black and white picture of the Swedes they would NOT be there in 2019-2024-whatever-year-it’s-supposed-to-be

- why does grace have a stroller in that last scene whose kid is that

- on that note what’s up with Lila’s family, to me that kind of insinuates all of the 43 WERE born in that timeline but… there’s no mention of any of the children or any of the siblings bio families

- which completely ruins the last plot point of ALL of the marigolds having to be destroyed, please even if the other children weren’t born there they straight up still had a half a jar of marigolds in Diego’s van 😭😭😭

- ALSO what was Abigail’s motivation, am I crazy or did she go like “fuck you reggie for wanting to destroy the world to punish you I am going to destroy the world” ???????

And I’m not even touching the whole Five characterization thing oh my god

[inkspiredwriting]

A Hargreeves Wedding Anniversary

Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader

Warnings: none

The Hargreeves home was abuzz with excitement as preparations for Five and Y/n Hargreeves’ wedding anniversary celebration were underway. The dining room was filled with the warm glow of candles and fairy lights, and the table was set with a feast worthy of the occasion.

Five’s siblings bustled about, adding their unique touches to the festivities. Klaus had strung up a mishmash of decorations, ranging from elegant garlands to a slightly tattered “Happy Anniversary” banner he’d found in a thrift shop. Luther was in charge of the grill outside, cooking up a storm. Diego set up a makeshift dance floor in the living room, while Allison curated a playlist of romantic songs. Viktor was tuning his violin, ready to provide a musical backdrop, and Ben and Sloane were handling drinks and dessert.

Five and Y/n were in their bedroom, getting ready for the evening. Y/n adjusted her dress in the mirror, a soft, flowing number that made her look radiant.

“You look stunning,” Five said, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

“And you look incredibly handsome,” Y/n replied, turning in his embrace. Five was dressed in a sharp suit, a sight that made Y/n’s heart flutter.

“Can you believe it’s been eight years?” Five mused, resting his forehead against hers.

“Feels like yesterday we were saying ‘I do,’” Y/n said, smiling. “But then again, it also feels like a lifetime with everything we’ve been through.”

“A wonderful lifetime,” Five agreed, leaning in for a kiss.

The party kicked off with everyone gathered in the living room. Maddie, their six-year-old daughter, was bouncing around with excitement, while Milo, their two-year-old son, toddled about, chasing after a balloon.

“Happy anniversary!” Klaus exclaimed, rushing forward to hug Five and Y/n. “I’ve been counting down the days for this!”

“Thanks, Klaus,” Five said, patting him on the back. “The place looks… festive.”

“You mean chaotic,” Diego said, grinning as he handed Five a drink. “But that’s how we do things, right?”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Five said, clinking his glass against Diego’s.

“Let’s get this party started!” Luther called out from the grill. “Dinner’s ready!”

Everyone gathered around the dining table, plates piled high with grilled meats, salads, and various side dishes. The room buzzed with chatter and laughter.

“To Five and Y/n!” Luther said, raising his glass. “May your love continue to grow and inspire us all.”

“Here, here!” everyone echoed, toasting to the couple.

Maddie was seated between Five and Y/n, her eyes wide with delight as she dug into her plate. Milo was in a high chair next to Five, gleefully munching on a piece of bread.

“This is perfect,” Y/n whispered to Five, squeezing his hand under the table.

“Absolutely,” Five agreed, his eyes soft with affection.

After dinner, Viktor began playing his violin, filling the room with soft, romantic music. Maddie twirled around the room in her pretty dress, her giggles adding to the joyful ambiance.

“I have a surprise for you,” Y/n said to Five, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Oh? What is it?” Five asked, intrigued.

“You’ll see,” Y/n said, standing up and heading to the small stage area Diego had set up. She took the microphone, and the room fell silent, all eyes on her.

“I wanted to do something special for you tonight,” Y/n said, looking at Five with a tender smile. “This song is for you.”

She began to sing “Love me tender” by Elvis Presley, a song that had become their unofficial anthem over the years. Her voice was clear and melodic, filling the room with emotion. As she sang, Five’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, his heart swelling with love and gratitude.

By the time Y/n finished, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Five stood up, walking over to her and pulling her into a tight embrace.

“That was beautiful,” Five said, his voice thick with emotion. “You always know how to make me cry.”

“Happy tears, I hope,” Y/n teased, wiping away a tear from his cheek.

“The happiest,” Five confirmed, kissing her deeply as the room erupted in applause and cheers.

The rest of the evening was a blur of laughter and dancing. Diego and Klaus engaged in a ridiculous dance-off, much to everyone’s amusement. Allison and Luther led a conga line that wound through the entire house, with Viktor and Ben reluctantly joining in. Sloane and Lila teamed up to keep the drinks flowing, ensuring no glass was empty for long.

Maddie, now with a crown on her head from Klaus’s stash of props, dragged Five and Y/n to the dance floor.

“Come on, Daddy! You too, Mommy!” Maddie insisted, twirling around them.

“How can we say no to that?” Y/n said, smiling as she took Five’s hand.

“We can’t,” Five agreed, spinning Y/n around as they danced with their daughter.

As the night drew to a close, Five’s siblings gathered around for one last toast.

“To the best couple we know,” Klaus said, raising his glass. “May your love be as timeless as your dance moves are questionable.”

“Cheers!” everyone shouted, laughing and clinking their glasses.

“Thanks, everyone,” Five said, his arm around Y/n. “You’ve made this anniversary unforgettable.”

“You make every day unforgettable,” Y/n said, leaning into him.

With the party winding down, the guests started to leave. Five and Y/n stood at the door, saying their goodbyes.

“See you all tomorrow,” Five said, waving as the last of his siblings departed.

“We should do this more often,” Klaus called back. “Love you guys!”

“Love you too!” Y/n and Five shouted in unison.

With the kids tucked in bed, Five and Y/n finally had a moment to themselves. They sat on the couch, the room now quiet except for the soft hum of the music playing in the background.

“Happy anniversary, love,” Y/n said, resting her head on Five’s shoulder.

“Happy anniversary,” Five replied, kissing the top of her head. “Here’s to many more.”

They sat in comfortable silence, basking in the afterglow of a perfect evening.

“I think Maddie’s out like a light,” Five said, glancing at the baby monitor.

“Milo too,” Y/n added, snuggling closer to Five.

“I have another surprise for you in our bedroom,” Five smirked, standing up and extending his hand to Y/n.

“Lead the way,” Y/n smiled, taking his hand. They walked hand in hand to their bedroom, ready to enjoy a night full of passion and love.

[fivelasanctum]

Fivela Manifesto Part 2

((( Had to split it into 2 parts since I broke tumblr with trying to post such a long essay lol ))) ♥ It's something small to note but she described her domestic life as "I'm just trapped in this unending suburban hellscape". Five when discussing with Klaus his feelings of seeing his old, founder Five self dying also used the word 'Hellscape'. "I die a one armed nightmare inside a bureaucratic hellscape of my own design." ♥ Once lila pulls Five onto the subway to check the train out and where it takes them, Five showed in numerous occasions on how protective he was of her. Pulling her down to safety when his past self was sniping at them. Protecting her against a fireball being whirled at them by one of the Phoenix academy students. ♥ When Reggie was helping the family to unlock the memories of what happened to Ben both Lila and Five had the good sense to spectate. Not trusting him. Lila also took this opportunity as Diego was being strapped in to tell him she wanted to re-assess their marriage and go on a break.

♥ Later that day Five and Lila have a short lil' banter after she grabs his arm and leans into his side. Lila: "You thinking what I'm thinking?" Five: "Rarely" Lila: "Their may be a way to stop all this." Five: "The answer is no." Lila: "Hey, you didn't even let me aske the question." Five: "I know I'm going to hate it. Why waste the oxygen?" Says no initially to Lila but always end up caving in to her wants. He does 'aim to please' when it comes to her. ♥ Oh and their song, 'I was made for lovin' you' by KISS played when she had to protect him when they just knew each other for a day or so. Writers hint lol 'Bad Guy' By billie Eilish - rough enemies, sexy song when they first fought each other~

*takes a breath* Well congratulations to those that read through all that lol. Meant to just be a condensed bullet point post but turned into a manifesto essay leading up to the 7 years together. I hope this post can help those on the fence of the couple to see their were plenty of build up for them just more subtle than the more obvious couples like Ray/Allison, Sissy/Viktor and so on. Oops forgot to add: ♥ Lila in season three tried to give him a hug the morning after his drunk night celebrating Luther's wedding. Touched by his lovey dovey speech about the family being bound by destiny and love. Calling him a softy~

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

okay so TENATIVE predictions for season 4: it looks like they're going to be playing into the mandela effect. half the universe remembers the umbrella timeline, half the universe remembers the sparrow timeline, and the ONLY thing both groups remember is Ben.

I've been praying since day one that Ben will have memories of both lives in his head, and judging by the fact he appears to be Going Through It in the trailer I assume that'll be the case.

since Ben is at the center of the conspiracy, I almost want to say he's who they're supposed to be rescuing? like, maybe instead of One Ben Two Lives, it's Two Bens One Cup. I don't think they'll do that, though. They're probably trying to rescue Jennifer. HOWEVER I do think it would be really sexy if Nick Offerman and Megahn Mullally weren't playing a couple but were instead playing the same person from different universes (hence being named Gene and Jean), and they somehow found each other and that's why they're leading this conspiracy.

Mystery Jennifer is stressing me out. obviously by the glowing she's got something going on. I'm thinking there's a possibility she was erased from the family's memories after Ben's death- the trailer makes it seem like Reginald made Allison rumor them after the fact. there's probably a decent chance they all knew her, she lost control of her powers, Ben died, Reginald locked her away and erased all traces of her. maybe in the sparrow timeline she died instead, or maybe she was always locked up there and Ben was drawing her from memories that were already starting to leak through from the og timeline, but either way probably in trying to uncover how Ben died they figure out they have to save her. idk!

also, six is like. a random number of years I'm sorry. why wouldn't they just say five years later? maybe another thing to do with Ben bc umbrella Ben was number six? I'm probably reading too much into that one.

I'm truly SO scared they're gonna reveal none of them have spoken during the time skip. Five doesn't deserve that 😭😭. in my perfect world him and Viktor have an apartment but the show writers 100% forgot they said those two were best friends when they were kids judging by the rest of the series rip. when the Gene and Jean characters were first announced I thought maybe Five got stuck in the foster system and they took him in, and that could still be the case (maybe that's how they noticed the universe is a lie in the first place, the boy loves to Yap) but I think it's less likely now idk

if Diego and Lila's daughter isn't named Gracie....what was this all for. what was this all building towards. what's the point. LMFAO I know the popular fanon one is Anita (personally in my head I've been calling her Poppy and I Don't Know Why) but like Gracie is the only name that makes sense, Diego is Too Much of a mama's boy to accept anything else.

this one isn't a prediction it's just a demand- I DEMAND a white violin icon moment set to extraordinary girl by green day. they can 100% get away with just doing an instrumental version since Viktor's not a girl lmfao, but it literally Haunts Me that they didn't do that at the end of season 1 (or at LEAST play the opening of letterbomb when Viktor was in the basement hallucinating) so they NEED to make up for that. it's the last season. play the fucking song oh my God.

there might be too much going on to bring the sparrows back in any meaningful way, but like! I liked them! I especially wanted more Marcus last season, he and Viktor had good chemistry. and Fei was an icon. Why Are We Hiding Sloane Tho. I considered maybe they were rescuing Sloane, but like, Luther just seems a little too happy for that to be the case? that's why I also think Diego and Lila's kid isn't the one being rescued like I saw some theories suggest- Diego is so excited and Lila's grinning in the car scene. can't imagine their 5 year old is missing.

Five is absolutely gonna die. like I'm sorry since episode 1 there's never been a believable outcome where everything's okay and he lives. HOWEVER I think there's a very strong chance the series could end with the timeline is finally saved and set right, and grandpa Five died- but then right at the end 2002 baby Five shows up and gets stuck in the safe timeline. Five has been a walking paradox the whole series. it'd be bittersweet to lose the Five we love, but know that he's still technically getting a happy ending because he doesn't have to live through the apocalypse and become an assassin. I think that's like the best outcome we can hope for.

I think it'd be EXTREMELY funny if Reginald is just super nice now that Abigail is back. like the entire excuse for 30 years of insane behavior was that he missed his wife. bestie there are better ways to cope than abusing superpowered kids </3 but lmao I'm intrigued by him and Viktor being together in both trailers! I've always gotten the feeling that Viktor is one of his 'favorites' (to the best of his ability anyway), and from the brief childhood flashbacks we see that he had baby V acting as an assistant for him, so I'd like to see their relationship expanded a little bit. honestly I just want a lot about Reginald cleared up- he does give off the distinct impression that he actually cares about his kids, even though he's abusive. I'm assuming the explanation will be something along the lines of 'well I always planned to bring you back and safe in the New Universe', that he was approaching it as a 'they have to suffer now to save the universe, and then they can be happy' mindset. that would be interesting. but I'm also a little worried they'll wave his behavior off with 'oh he's an alien he just can't understand how he affected them', which, would suck writing-wise.

I'm worried about Allison- I'm sure they're gonna want her to have a full redemption by the end of the series, but what she did to Viktor and Luther last season...like I just don't know that they'll pull off a meaningful redemption, to where it's believable that they forgive her (other than the fact they're both softies and push overs). not with the shorter season, anyway! I *think* the person Viktor was punching in the trailer was Allison. but I'm worried that instead of actually fixing the issue the writers will just have her do a sacrifice play. especially since, bless her, she's the least sacrificial person in the family, so I could see the argument that it'll be a meaningful character growth moment, but like...if they don't actually have her believably fix her mistakes it'll just feel like a lazy writing move. also, I love her and I don't want any of them to die. as I said, the only death I'm willing to accept is Five's WITH the promise of baby Five getting a happy ending.

I want the Handler to come back, even if it's only for one scene. sorry, I think her absence was one of the low points of season 3.

I think if Grace appears in this season at all it won't be the robot version we're used to, but an older version of her human self that Diego met in the 60s. could be very bittersweet. I just don't think the robot exists in this universe bc honestly if my husband revived me from the dead but then I found out he's been living without me just fine, but made a robot copy of a pretty young fling he had after my death and seemingly can't live without her. I'd be a little pissed! sorry! lmao that said I also have personally been headcannoning that Grace is actually a cyborg and not a robot this whole time, the kids just don't know because of all the insane protocols Reginald set up, so if they do something with that instead I'll be really excited.

Diego and Lila's daughter deserves powers<3

alright I think that's all I got for now. but I wanna hear more theories!!

[soshadysoquiet]

TUA S4 thoughts.

Below, spoilers.

Okay. Lord gonna need some strength to get through this coherently.

Basics first:

The Music: Maybe 2-3 good songs. Dissapointing. Let's talk of a mo about Baby Shark: to me it wasn't funny, the song being such a social media present one in this world really took me out of the show. Yes sure the funnies of parents having to listen to kid music and them being stuck that way but I really wish they'd taken the time to make an original annoying jingle. TUA is usually such a delight for the ears that this hurt me bad! Plus they then kept changing whether the song was on or off, seemed like Diego could control it somewhat, but then why would he turn it back on for them riding into the final battle?

The Dialogue: Felt forced and cheap in places. They can use the word 'fuck' now and seem to therefor have decided they don't need to make the characters have witty insults for each other.

The 'Themes' of the show: Why has my quirky family drama been turned into a 90's romance film. Who asked for this. No.

The "Plot": When your own characters don't care about the plot for the sake of shindigs you think will be more entertaining then you know you fucked up. It made sense the first 2 series them having side quests. Less so in the third. Even less so now. Literally at times they had to say to each other 'oh yeah shouldn't we find Ben?' I'll be here in the corner raisining. Also they came up with these 'stages' for the apocalypse but had one guy throw up, a couple things go boom and then they merge, it was one of the least threatening depictions of apocalypse I've seen - though that could be that it wasn't shot in very interesting ways.

Also side note for why there were so many shots that started upside down and rotated? Like I get if Klaus is upside down, and yeah the umbrellas are inside out, but it (plus the Bennifer monster) gave me too many stranger things vibes.

Now the sub-cast:

Jennifer: Love that for 1/2 the protagonist of the apocalypse she had little to no love put into her character, I legit kept forgetting her and Ben were part of the storyline. I loved that she was birthed from the squid, but why put something eerie and cool like that in and make it have meant nothing? Such a waste.

The villains [Gene, Jean and Abigail/Psy(sp?)]: Whilst I liked the idea of memories infecting the timeline, literally all of these guys was Tell don't Show. And for a series with only six episodes I do not want my time wasted with some side-character villains getting a dance number over the main cast. Despicable. Also there were WAY too many villains here especially if you then also count Reggie as one. Literally make Jennifer be trying to link up with Ben and coercing him (then Viktor could break through to him briefly from past experience of a similar relationship - the symmetry is nice) and have Abbigail be pulling the strings. There were so many side characters of no import that I lost track of the main cast. Hell, make Kenny's Mom be the bad guy I'd have loved that! Also, I like that Abigail was somewhat evil, but then they tried to make her good too? No thank you. Pick a lane not everybody needs redemption.

Special RIP to Diego and Lila's twins that Never Even Got Names 💀 fucking hell that's lazy ass writing.

Now the main cast:

Viktor: He deserved better, why bother to introduce that he's had a girlfriend, slept through the entire town, and owns a bar when you then don't talk about any of it. He's told to 'grow up' it's so specific, what does it mean? Also since last we saw he was the sort of ride or die for his love type (with both Leonard and Sissy) this is a frustrating turn with no explanation. Also his whole fight with Reggie and getting things off his chest arc felt forced and not as well written to me. And his character seemed to have been given zero changes from the last 6 years. I miss when his powers actually had a sound element to them rather than just, Havoc from X Men hands. You're taking the Viktor out of my Viktor.

Allison: We have no explanation of how she and Klaus found each other and fell in together. No info of how she and Reggie parted ways. We only hear that 'Ray left her' and nothing else. She says no one wants her at the party but then seems to know Gracie? Has she talked with Any of them since? Nothing was addressed from the end of last season, or even referred to being addressed in the past. I don't see the point of her new powers, or any of them having slightly off or new powers when then some of them don't? Either way, her rumours are so classic and now she's floating people? I see the link and if they'd been developing new powers over 6 years fine but no. You're taking the Allison out of my Allison.

Luther: Praise be, I did like Luther this season. He mentioned Sloane (shock horror, a love interest from a time gone by being brought up?!?! In TUA!!??) he was cracking me up and was really being Best Boy. Although I felt a lot of his dialogue was flat, and it seemed really out of character for him to start attacking the piñata? I don't think we've ever seen him physically lash out unless angry? It looked to me like 'oh yeah here's another silly gimmick that will be a haha. Diego, sure. Luther, no. They also decided (not surprised but always so disappointed) to make him getting ape-i-fied again humorous and not the soul destroying thing it would be. Also, why was he ape-i-fied??? His ape-ness came from the serum not the marigolds? Generally though, I really did enjoy him this season.

Diego: Love that we're throwing every over used marriage-in-pieces trope in the book at these two. Love that. Especially as they seemed to have sorted out some of their communication issues. I get their trajectories but was so deeply, Deeply bored watching it. Diego was sadly pretty dislikable for the whole season, which was real sad because I had grown to love him. There were some funny moments don't get me wrong, he's got too much personality to be a boring character, but whilst they didn't have to have a perfect marriage it was so dull and in hindsight such an obvious set up for the bleh that was to come. Plus they threw in a 'don't make me turn this car around' type moment to show how 'he's a parent now look wow' but I can't imagine any of the siblings hearing that and not laughing at him.

Lila: Again, marriage and wrong-conclusions and it was so boring. She's such a fun character and she was reduced to 'ooo how can we make her be a cheater and with Five' Why do you even need to do that? I just feel sad about it. And it doesn't help that we Don't Know Two Of Her Kids Names and neither her nor Diego seem to think of them for however long they're on the road, and she mentions them only once in the 7years of subway hell and both of them seem relatively undistressed without them. Sure, parents do need a break, but if you don't care about the kids visibly you know for sure I the audience member ain't gonna. Also why the eye lasers save for again a brief gag? It makes no sense when she then also has mimics abilities?

Claire: Let's give Claire a side note at this point. I do so hate it when shows decide to make children their parent's brains and moral compasses, take little to no time to show any bond between parent and child until the last 2 episodes, and instead choose to spend that time showing us how naturally fractious a relationship they have. Love that, so much. Never seen it before really. I get it's normal, but when ever other part of the show is cookie cutter predictable I don't need this too. Give her an actual personality that isn't "the wise old rebellious teenager"

Ben: Wow. So glad that A) I had to hear a character explain crypto currency for me, so glad we wasted precious time of a 6 episode series on that. B) Ben had changed 0%. C) that he had Even Less input and impact at the end emotionally than in any previous season and this one was About Him! And do you know why? Because D) they basically used star-crossed-lovers-can't-help-ourselves and made him use every creepy stalker OTT moving way too fast line in the books especially when Jennifer at a lot of moments was verbally saying she wasn't into it.. Also why does he talk about her like he's a 12 yr old and, idk, it was a shame to have no real impact from him until the end when he's suddenly scared and pushing Viktor away to save him but we see no connection from him and Viktor previously as to why he'd listen it would make more sense if it had been Klaus or Luther at this point.

Klaus: Now, I know a lot of his storyline this season came from the comic, and sure it's good material, that should probably have been used Throughout the seasons rather than crammed into 1 day. But let's chat for a hot mo: Now I like that we got to see him be nasty rather than the precious uwu Klaus that I've been guilty of perceiving at times, and that we see some of the negative effects of addiction on the family for the first time. Great moments, important. BUT. I'd have felt his rage out at Allison and turn to drugs would have been a lot more impactful if they'd bothered to show him waking up to the sound of being screamed at, barely able to hear his siblings, struggling to focus on them and wanting to drown it out. But we don't get that, the horror of what this means for him. Then we proceed to got through this whole let's have him want to get shot by a drug dealer (don't quite get why - or how Claire knows he's immortal now? did the powers back thing ever come up??) have him kidnapped and forced to prostitute himself, take more drugs (but still use his powers?) Develop a new power though without using the comic's fun quirk that he has to take his shoes off, and then bury him alive. Wow. this guy had plenty going on, but sure. Then -he can save himself, I thought this might become something poignant - he's able to conjure the dog to Go to Allison and lead them there, but no, he just gets rescued again. Gee I wonder what grave he's in Mom? All I don't know Claire, how about the Only One That's Been Dug Up? I thought it was really interesting to see his moments as a teen with Allison, and how he was living with her and thought they handled the worry about death/germs etc thing well tbf. Though also how the hell did he get home from being 13 hrs away and why nobody cared to go with him was pretty low.

Five: Dear lord that moustache was awful and I'm glad they all called it creepy and he had no concept. I despise 2 things they did here: made it canon that he gets romantic with Lila. Made going back into the literal apocalypse that he spent time having flashbacks about barely if at all affect him - it's unsure if his hesitation going back into it the second time was hesitation to go in there, and that's what I hoped they would do, but then, no. no. Please, Pleeaasse don't take away this nice, safe space I had in this nice, safe 'you literally can't sexualise him with anyone it would be so problematic' character and say 'they held out 7 years but yeaaahhh they hook up.' don't see why it was needed. It didn't 'heal' him, it was a plot for conflict but I've got plenty of other conflict plots that can end with Lila and Diego fighting without having to make every damn character have a god damn love interest! I loved their bond before, it was so fun and special to see a male and female not have to fall in love, and they ruined it. And it was for nothing? And they didn't have time to make the 7 years feel like 7 years and it was lazy writing for cheap conflict in my opinion. I hated it, I hate that it's "canon". I don't think I can describe just how awful I found it and unnecessary. I also don't buy that Five would be willing to not drink the marigolds as much as the others, or that there would be a timeline full of given up fives that sit around a diner. It was fun to watch though. And up until they started the montage in the subway and we knew where it was going I was enjoying Five in this season. that boy has had such a shit life and this is how it ends?

I will say that the flashback to them as kids was my favourite part of this series. It's always good to have a little deeper insight into how they interacted as children but I do have some Opinions here too of course: Reggie saying 'you look ridiculous' to Viktor, no, he made their outfits? I felt that was lazy writing when Reggie in the past has laid into Viktor's insecurities much more keenly: 'That outfit is only for your brothers and sisters / we've been over this, you're not special take it off / I will not have you wasting time with frivolity when the Academy has important work to do, leave us." etc. Also I thought there might be something different about why they all forgot their Ben memories. It was brutal yes, which I appreciated, but I can't believe that these guys wouldn't see their father kill their brother and not One of them flip their shit? Idk, it was a little... good and bad I guess.

I think that's it for now, if anyone read this far then well done! I might write a fix it post in a bit for my own entertainment.

[laurrelise]

i’m rewatching tua season 4 because i guess i once again need confirmation that it’s just as bad as i remember …

but ive been told im too negative about the season on more than one occasion so im going to be positive and name a bunch of things i like about each episode of the final season!! <3

warning: this post is decent sized lol

today we are tackling: episode 2

i do love the beginning montage of the siblings all being sick while simultaneously using their powers to improve their own daily agendas if only it featured more than just 3 of the siblings…?

i love five’s assistant twink and also how he’s called mr. five at the grand old age of 19 years old (i know he’s 64 but shut up)

lila’s eyeball lasers and the rubber ducky

luther being devastated over the place being “destroyed” even when it was a literal shithole to start off with

viktor finding his VOICE. viktor with CONFIDENCE. i love you viktor “ill kick your ass right now” hargreeves. king, you are 4 feet tall, but eat him tf up

“why is it cold” “the real question is, why would you touch it”

five slapping diego’s hand out of the way and him not even trying to fight it is so them and i love it

viktor actually attempting to kick ben’s ass (and as much as he looks like a feral little gremlin, i love it)

luther’s “DUDE! I LIVE HERE” he’s such a grumpus

also viktor’s little speech about him building a life for himself and it all being fucked over because of ben’s dumb ass

“i could’ve lost my job!” “did you?” “wh-” and five looking up at him with wide eyes and genuine curiosity. not the time king but thanks for asking

allison eating ben tf up and klaus supporting her

“i’m not going back to that old klaus. i like this klaus! hey, he collects coupons! he’s frugal, respectable, reliable, and most importantly, he’s a klaus that claire likes. and trusts and looks up to.” THIS IS SO SAD I LOVE HIM

diego pulling ben back to the couch by his hair is such brother behavior

i do love the wanda van. she’s truly iconic

will forever love that five gets the front seat because he’s the old man. if i were his sibling i wouldn’t even try to take it. shotgun is for the senior citizen

the gag about baby shark not being able to stop playing for the entire several-hour long road trip is pretty alright comedy-wise i guess although it would’ve been much funnier if baby shark wasn’t the main goddamn song in the entire season’s soundtrack

i will never shut up about how much i love the love-hate banter from all of the siblings. the actors did such an amazing job bringing the dysfunctional family back to life.

ben getting humbled in the diner was pretty satisfying. sparrow ben i’ve never been your biggest fan but you’ve grown on me

luther’s mention of sloane is so sweet if only she’d been mentioned more than twice

luther is generally adorable i love that man

viktor saying “phones work both ways, yknow” when allison said he didn’t call. i love how much confidence he’s found in himself this season, quite possibly one of the only characters who wasn’t horribly assassinated trait-wise

diego throwing the axes, i love him. also lila’s unimpressed reaction always gets me

klaus with the TAROT CARDS!!!!!! yes please i wish he’d used them more

i do actually like jennifer’s character. the truman-show town thing was so interesting even if it had relatively no effect on the plot for the rest of the season, it had potential but i love that jen matches ben’s freak in the sense that she is absolutely not afraid to call him out on his bullshit

old man five trying to blink :( so sad poor guy

also five immediately pretending to stretch when lila calls him out

once again i love lila and five’s reluctant alliance. why couldn’t they just continue being frenemies for the love of god

five noticing the singular guy looking at them and mentioning it to diego and lila and she says “maybe he likes you” STEVE BLACKMAN YOU COULD’VE PUT FIVE WITH ANYONE ELSE. STEVE BLACKMAN WE COULD’VE HAD A ROMANCE BETWEEN FIVE AND THE ELF STARING AT HIM AND IT WOULD’VE BEEN BETTER THAN FIVE X LILA. STEVE BLACKMAN WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME

ben defending jennifer awwwww

five’s subway station to different timelines will go down as being endlessly awesome if only it hadn’t been created solely so steve blackman could fulfill his own weird ass ideas

diego and lila once again trying to convince the other to let them save the day is a very often-overlooked sign of love that i refuse to ignore. they do it like 3 times in the show and it gets me every time

“i have laser eyes im more powerful than you!” “they’re not even working right now!” “they’re gonna work i feel it they’re gonna work!!!!” lila i love you you’re so cute

“I TOOK OUT THE TRASH” hey btw diego it’s not the time

ok but diego’s flip where he redirects all the bullets… idk how i completely forgot about that part (probably because i was busy thinking about all of the other things that i hated) but it was SO fucking awesome stfu

diego and lila collecting reindeer stuffies for the kids even while they’re fighting for their lives is still so adorable

klaus’ positive affirmations. klaus I LOVE YOU

klaus accidentally finding a fake jennifer is so on brand for him NVM HOW DID I FORGET THAT SHE LITERALLY SHOOTS KLAUS

i LOVE the part where luther’s shielding allison and viktor from the bullets. especially when viktor tears out of his grasp like a feral little gremlin and takes out half of the shooters

still don’t know what the hell allison’s power is???? is it the rumor thing except she only has to think it instead of saying it?!!? idk but it’s cool i guess just wish it was explained more!!!!!!

luther’s “i should’ve known, those sconces were too perfect” he’s all upset but i can’t help but smile he’s literally a 5 year old

the car flip is so fucking cool. the glass flying around the van around everybody is so good, the “carol of the bells” is so menacing and simple, five absolutely serving while everyone else is screaming and flinging around in the back

ALSO DIEGO’S ARM GOING OUT TO PROTECT FIVE. fuck i love them so much. STEVE BLACKMAN FUCK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO FIVE AND DIEGO

jennifer’s little “help me, ben” as she gets carried away is so tragic oh my god. and his little reach out to her as she’s taken. fuck

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, jean and gene are such phenomenal villains. nick offerman and megan mulally are phenomenal actors. christ on a cracker why couldn’t they have been utilized in a plot that was actually written well

and that’s the end of the episode! only positivity around here folks! :)

…

just kidding here’s some of the tiny little things i caught that i don’t like / that make literally zero sense

luther screaming “no! no! no” when his monkey body is back (for some fucking reason???) is so heartbreaking the poor guy hated himself 💔

i love the whole subway station thing but how the hell did five accidentally blink into the station when he was just running but couldn’t when he was genuinely trying lmfao

it’s absolutely wild that five deadass blinked accidentally and then just hopped on the subway even though he was just running for his life. if the writers genuinely believed five wouldn’t have immediately returned to help his family and checked out the subway later then they need to be fired immediately. thanks

it will never not be funny to me that literally every single person in the town has a huge gun. was that much security really necessary 😭

the part where klaus dies and they give him marigold even though he stressed 100% that he didn’t want it makes me so sad. i get why they did it (he literally would’ve died if they hadn’t) but the panic in allison’s voice as she holds her dying brother and tries to figure out if it’s right to give it to him against his will is so heartbreaking

KLAUS’ “what did you do?” WHEN HE REALIZES HE’S GOT HIS POWERS BACK IM SOBBING

ok and that’s the end

the first couple of episodes weren’t too terrible in my opinion? so it’s understandable that i’d find plenty more things i liked than i disliked in this episode. also all the things i pointed out that i liked were tiny little details when most of the season’s flaws imo were huge arcs / plot points that span multiple episodes so they might not be as relevant in a post of this format !!

might do this when i watch the rest of the seasons to truly identify if i really am too hard on this season (i don’t believe i am considering how many much smarter people have also stressed the issues with this season but it was fun so i might do it anyways)

anyways thanks for reading goodbye

[moldybonessmell]

// TUA season 4 SPOILERS

This season was absolutely horrendous, not gonna lie.

My scientific diagram regarding something that used to be my favorite show:

There's absolutely nothing I like about new season.

Now, more specifically, things I hate:

Klaus being traumatized for no reason and having no character development for 2 seasons straight (see rant).

Ben preaching eternal love and hooking up with a girl he met like a day ago while people around puke venom cum😃.

Right away, adding the "comedic gore" which is a sin for so many recent shows and TUA went the same annoying and overplayed route. Bloody scenes were cool when it was Five killing people with an iconic background music and stuff, but not the gore for the gore's sake.

By the way, music game is so weak this season, they literally took out the best part of the show that has become its trademark, what are creators doing???

Storyline with Diego thinking Lila is cheating and them being drowned in family life would have worked if it was in a different show, but it's TUA and it's boring as hell, sorry. (Maybe dont get like 3 kids if it's so difficult??? idk man)

Luther is stripper? Seriously? Completely unprovoked. Made for comedic sake once again, and I don't respect that. They didn't know what to do with his character and made him into comic relief, how unexpected /sarcasm.

Tension between Lila and Five, really? You took the best platonic dinamic, them actually being sibling-coded, and made it into romance? I have zero respect left. I do not care it was 6 years for them, I truly don't give a fuck. I cringed so hard. I just wanted to turn it off completely. Episode 5 is VILE, especially RIGHT AFTER Diego recognising family is more important than work. These scenes being one after other is diabolical. Also, Five hiding "the way home" for 5 months?? OOC as hell, if you ask me. You know what even more OOC and dumb? Five fighting Diego over Lila when The Cleanse is the bigger problem at the moment. (How did Five even end up on the floor, he's like the best killer in timeline??)

" - Why did I wait to take the shot.. - Maybe because you're a good man after all." No the fuck he's not. Reginald Hargreaves is not a good man. In neither timelines. The way the show tries to make him a gray character and make us like him is cringe as hell, just stop.

When I found out last season is only 6 episodes long I was upset, but at the time I finished episode 4 I just couldn't wait till the season is over.

(I had to finish it tho, for a slight possibility it's gonna get better and my rant posts to be relevant you know).

Honestly, I'm just glad it's over. The less seasons the less possibilities for the show to get even worse.

"I think we're alone now" as a closing song was a good choice tho.

Edit: I haven't checked the tags before posting and can't believe like 20 people have already used the horse meme before me guess we all thought the same bruh

[magsneezo]

Made the mistake of watching the entirety of season four of the umbrella academy. I’ve got some thoughts to get out so here we go.

-why did this whole marigold Durango thing just come out of basically nowhere? No real buildup besides the occasional view of yellow mist?

-also why it makes two people with it merge into some world ending monster blob? Ew

-Ben and Jen deserved more. The actors had chemistry and I would’ve loved a different storyline for them where they still got to be in love but didn’t turn into a blob.

-Klaus and his subplot contributed nothing. Gave me nothing. Not sure why that was his thing instead of, I don’t know, something more substantial to his character and the growth and backslide he went through? But creepy bikers and ghost dog I guess woof woof

-Luther deserved more than being a sexy lamp. That’s all he was this season it felt like. A pretty face and funny gags. Legs and eggs.

-Diego. Oh poor Diego. He has gone through too much character development for all of that. What a terrible storyline for him. Unnecessary drama.

-Viktor felt disconnected from the storyline while being in the middle of it. Weird. I don’t think any of the actors were feeling this writing and character assassinations.

-I have nothing good to say about what they did to Five. Worst character assassination yet. The only thing good was Brisket Five. What is his story.

-Lila was more than a love triangle enticement. She deserved better. Like the laser eyes tho. Unnecessary but cool.

-Allison, whom I hated last season, was maybe the most compassionate character again like she was in season one? That was good, but felt off since last season made her such a villain but now that she has Claire back she’s good again. There wasn’t any growth to be had or improvement. Disappointing. Her goodness is entirely dependent on her daughter’s presence. Boo. Face consequences.

-Abigail was underdeveloped and confusing. Could’ve been used better.

-you mean ten percent of New York (or wherever this was) was waiting on a Muse song to play on the radio before they go to start a mob?

-this season honestly felt like someone watched The Boys and wanted to take notes. Ew.

-great all these characters we’ve watched the last four seasons cease to exist. Love it.🙃

-this had the same feeling as the Olympic breakdancer. I could’ve done better.

-I love happy endings, but I would’ve been fine with a bittersweet one. This was neither. It was garbage.

-well thank goodness I was worried the Handler wouldn’t get a happy ending. That sure made it all worth it. All is forgiven🙄

I may make a post later on how I would’ve written it, but for now I needed to get the rant off my chest.

[elladorathegreat]

What I thought of TUA season 4

(Just my opinion pls no hate n if ppl wanna talk Abt it I would love to)

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. Victor FINALLY having it out on reggie

That was fucking amazing all those years of pent up exhaustion and aggression towards Reginald has finally come out and it was just beautiful to watch tbh

2. Ben and Jennifer

THIS HAD ME IM NGL I LOVED IT SO MUCH I love how through all the timelines there’s ALWAYS them, I was picking up on it throughout the season and it was just amazing, I loved that, I am a hopeless romantic so I was all there for it even tho it did destroy everything

3. Paralells

there were so many parallel’s throughout it from the previous seasons and just even the parallel of Jennifer knocking on the wall to Ben bro It just had me, I also love how the violin was still a theme throughout it through Abigail and the music during certain scenes, also having I think were alone now as the ending song was absolutely amazing although it was a different version/cover I loved that they used it in the first and last episode

4. PLOT TWISTS

BENS DEATH WAS CRAZY, had me and my best friend GASPING I’ve spent years theorising over how he died and I NEVER ONCE thought of Reginald being the case

ALSO ABIGAIL (reggies wife) ended up being on the opposite side which was insane. The way she also let lose on Reginald in the skin of gene was hilarious

5. Lila and Five

Just gonna say this first, I DIDNT LIKE IT. Even though as disgusting as it looks (due to fives body being younger) Lila and five makes sense as Lila said it was survival and they thought that they weren’t ever going to find a way back however five hiding the journal and way home from Lila just to have a relationship with her when she’s HIS BROTHERS WIFE is CRAZY I hate how they made him the bad guy in the end when it came to Lila and Diego and I did hate how they ruined Diego and Lila’s relationship for that :(

The fact they both genuinely fell in love tho is just crazy and tbh I never knew how to feel whenever it was on the screen however klaus, Allison and Luther were HILARIOUS at the confrontation scene.

6. TUA growing up!

Content of the kids FINALLY

IVE WAITING SO LONG FOR THERE TO BE MORE SCENES OF TUA AS KIDS ANS WE FINALLY GOT IT! I loved seeing them interact with each other and also showing that viktor wasn’t CONPLETELY alone growing up as he and Ben had a friendship, it also shows how klaus and Alison’s friendship has been deep rooted since they were young

7. Allison EATING

Allison was HORRIFIC in season 3 as we all know due to her crisis(?) but this season she was such a boss bitch and I actually lived for it icl the way she put reggie in his place and also helped klaus so much it was beautiful

8. The last episode!

The last episode was very Rick and Morty esq. but I loved it, it was so sad but so good and although it felt a bit rushed and I WISH they had more seasons coming they ended it off so well and with the 8 marigold flowers growing at the END END it was just beautiful and also kinda made me think like what if there is more? (Even tho there’s not :() also having all of the characters at the end such as the triplets from season 2, the commission workers, hazel and Agnes, the handler, grace, it was just all amazing and left me speechless

I actually can’t believe it over tho, they did so well with all of it and I love it so much.

Ofc this is all my opinion and I can’t wait to hear what other ppl think cuz honestly there’s so much to debrief and talk Abt it was also rly funny but honestly I loved it.

[hannahhook7744]

If you're in the mood for depressing story, how about the BDA filling Carlos's death report

Threw in a bonus:

------------------------------------------------------------

Badun Detective Agency: Death Report.

Name of Detective: Harold 'Harry' Badun.

Age of Detective: 18 years old. 

Date of Report: August 13th, Year 23.

Name of the deceased: Carlos Oscar de Vil.

Age of the deceased: 17 years old.

File number: 0499.

Report: The Deceased (17, Male. Child of Estella ‘Cruella’ de Vil and Jean-Pierre Le Pelt) has been 100% confirmed to have died from injuries obtained in an accidental explosion.

The Deceased was last seen tinkering with one of his inventions nearby his chemistry set by his older cousin, Diego de Vil, age 21 half an hour before the explosion occurred at 12:22 PM (or 14:22 Military Time).

The Deceased was quickly rushed to Charmington General Hospital and treated by Dr. Dottie McStuffins but passed away because his injuries were too severe and he’d lost too much blood. 

His time of death was recorded at 1:01 PM (or 13:01 Military Time) on August 13th, Year 23.

His next of kin, crew, and partner were all informed as soon as the agency was and his funeral is scheduled for August 27, Year 23. 

For further information, reach out to Dr. Dottie McStuffins and the Badun Detective Agency.

Harry signing out.

Note: In honor of Carlos de Vil’s memory, a section featuring him has been added to the Badun Detective Agency Museum by those behind the program at the agency’s request.  A plaque honoring Carlos de Vil has been added to ‘ISLE OF THE LOST, CARLOS’ HOUSE: A SAFE PLACE FOR LOST BOYS AND LOST GIRLS. DEPARTMENT OF DISORDER.’ Several extensions funded by Benjamin 'Ben' Florian Léandre, Malanie 'Mal' Bertha Fae-Athanasiou-Léandre, and Evie’s 4 Hearts have been approved and construction should start sometime next year. Plans for an advanced Tech School and Veterinarian's Office with his name attached have also been constructed.  A section featuring Carlos de Vil has been added to the Badun Detective Agency Museum. A new song by the Bad Apples has also been made by his cousin, Diego Ethan Ramirez-de Vil, in his honor.  Listen Here.

------------------------------------------------------------

Badun Detective Agency: Getting To Know The Dead.

Name Of The Dead: Carlos Oscar de Vil.

Age Of The Dead: 17 years old.

Father: Jean-Pierre Le Pelt

Mother: Estella ‘Cruella’ de Vil.

Sibling(s):  

Carlisle de Vil (Older Brother),

Carlotta de Vil the 1st (Older Sister),

Conway de Vil (Older Brother),

Codias de Vil (Older Brother),

And Carlotta de Vil the 2nd (Younger Sister).

Favorite Food: Chocolate, Chocolate Yogurt Pups, Chip’s Grilled Cheese, Pizza, and Dwarf Gems.

Favorite Color: Black, White, and Red. 

Favorite Toy/Object: His copy of the video game ‘Hero Rising’, his laptop, his headphones, and his tool belt.

Dream Job/Job Had: Founder of CARLOS’ HOUSE: A SAFE PLACE FOR LOST BOYS AND LOST GIRLS, creator of Canine Appreciation Day, app designer, dog walker, and veterinarian.

Hobbies: Fencing, Tourney, fog Walking, playing Frisbee, gaming, playing with dude and Beelzebub, inventing/tinkering, listening to music, going to Gadgets and Gizmos club, programming, dressing to impress, etc. 

Pet(s): A dog named ‘Dude’ and a cat named ‘Beezlebub’. 

Cause Of Death: Accidental explosion. 

Signature Of Person Who Filled Out The Report:

Detective Jason ‘Jace’ Badun.

------------------------------------------------------------

This isn't canon to the rest of the series.

[girl-who-writes-world]

Here we go, as promised:

Diego Hargreeves Headcanons

🔪 Diego was obsessed with legos as a kid, I’m talking lego cities covered his floor, can’t walk into his room without risking impalement in your foot

🎸 Learned electric guitar as his instrument when their father made them learn one. First song he played on it was Judas by Lady Gaga at Klaus’ request

⚾ Baseball was one of his favorite pastimes and his team always won Thanks telekinesis He would also play catch and mini games with his kids.

🔪 Cried when he first read Charlotte's Web

🎸His walmart brand Batman self allowed Klaus to practice eyeliner on him and would often keep it on all day. He got the technique down as an early teen and would do his kid’s eyeliner for them when they were teens themselves. (It reminded him of his own teenage years with his brother)

⚾ That man wore platforms. (He literally wore all leather to his father’s funeral, platforms and eyeliner are not far fetched)

🔪 He had those ceiling star night lights

🎸He got really into astronomy with Ben. His favorite constellation was Perseus. (When Ben died he kept all of his books and notes. He also made grace tell him about all the constellations and planets)

⚾ He learned spanish very early on and picked up a little accent from his tutors. (Of course reggie would hire actual native Spanish speakers, only the best for his superhero adopties.)

🔪 Diego puts Ben, Stanley, Grace, Pogo, and Patch on his alter for Día de Muertos

🎸He is very close to his heritage when Lila and him actually get their own place. He celebrates all Mexican holidays and goes all out.

⚾ His house always smells like food and his siblings get a package of meals, pastries, and bread at least once a month

🔪 He hosts family dinners during holidays and he spends the whole day (and the days before) preparing for his entire family. His kids are all very involved with the baking and cooking and he helps Lila make her own dishes. (She is not allowed near his cookies though, because he swears she is the reason they always burn when she helps him) His siblings all rave over his churros.

🎸 He makes his own guacamole and salsa, his and the kids are always spicy while Lila’s must be medium heat. He has multiple flavors and spice levels at all times.

⚾ When he was a teen he and Grace would make Pan de Muerto for Día de Muertos. He would get up early with her so he could help out.

🔪 He runs his house on Disney and shows from his childhood. He’s one of those people who believes newer kid shows to encourage tantrums and bad behavior. I’m talking his kids were raised on Little Einsteins, Sid the Science Kid, Sofia the First, Scooby Doo, Tom and Jerry, and Team Umizoomi

🎸He is a big couples costumes fan, but specifically the dorky costumes. Peanut Butter and jelly, eggs and toast, Fred and Daphne, ect.

⚾ Soup cures all illnesses, tea is also a great remedy.

🔪 This man gardens all his own vegetables, fruits, and herbs

🎸He lets his daughters paint his nails and shows them off “Oh you like them?! Thanks! My little girls did them! They are getting so good at designs!”

⚾He is the kind of person to really love his smile lines and wrinkles, they’re proof he is happy and fulfilled.

🔪 Rock music blaring when he picks up his kids from school

🎸He and Lila are at every parent teacher conference and every school activity.

⚾ He doesn’t mind scary movies but any scary doctor movies are off limits.

🔪 There will be no ouija boards in his house, he doesn’t want any evil spirits. Klaus scared him once by pretending to be possessed, he now sages the house when he “feels something evil”

🎸He made sure every one of his kids felt special, he refused to let his kids end up like Viktor almost did.

⚾ His fashion taste when he’s not in leather is very 70’s. Flared pants and button up shirts. Oranges, blues, purples, and browns. He’d loved the 70’s ever since he was a kid.

🔪 He has brotherly outing with all his brothers and makes sure to spend time with his sisters as well, in-law or not they’re family.

[therantsofawriterrr]

The Umbrella Academy Final Season: My Version

Part Seven: The Side Effects Of A Smelly Kombucha

Overview: During the road trip, the gang encounters problems. Five gets to know Clementine a little bit more.

TW: mature language, throwing up but it's not shown explicitly for the amount of time the show showed it, idek if it's that explicit tbh. Anyway also some body pain and all that stuff is mentioned i think, do tell me if i missed anything! Pairings in the chapter: Mostly Five x OC A/N: hello, I'm back with another part, I'm really sorry that i added the throwing up part, but at least it's not as bad as it was in the show??? Or maybe it was, but like. I needed to like, show that reaction to the marigold, other than the ones alr mentioned. Coz it's literally like, changing their bodies. So. Um. Anyway. Sorry.

Masterlist

It was only a matter of time before the song Baby Shark started grating on people's ears.

"God!" Viktor said, holding his head in his hands. "Will you please turn that song off?"

I can't, it's stuck," Diego replied.

Allison rolled her eyes as Klaus vibed to the song. Clementine's head was lolling a bit as she slept and she laid her head back in the seat, closing her eyes and finally getting the sleep she needed.

One hour later, the car rolled down the highway, Five looked at Diego, wondering how he was so calm with the song playing in the background like that, as Ben's stomach started gurgling again.

Three hours later, Luther, trying really hard not to move one muscle because it made his whole body ache snapped, "Diego, will you change that song?"

Allison was in a deep slumber, Clementine was going in and out of sleep, Viktor had his hands on his ears, Five, Ben and Lila were clutching at their stomachs.

"I can't!" Diego said exasperatedly.

Klaus took out a bottle from his bag and it woke Clementine up from her slumber , making her groan and she slapped a hand to her mouth and nose as Lila said, "Oh my god, that smells rancid."

"What?" Klaus asked in disbelief. "You don't like my kale-kiwi-carrot-cabbage kombucha?"

"Don't get me wrong, man," Clementine said, her words muffled behind her hand. "I love all of those but separately."

"Yeah, well, it's good for the soul and great for the bowels," Klaus explained.

"Diego?" Five called out softly. "Maybe, uh, maybe pull over."

"Can't," Diego replied straightforwardly, turning to him. "We're making good time."

"Um. Please listen to him," Clementine agreed meekly. "Don't wanna get your vehicle dirty."

"Yeah. I'm gonna hurl," Five said weakly.

"Can you pull over? I need to pee," Lila said.

Diego looked at her reflection in the rear view mirror, "All right. Heads up. Here."

He held out the pee bottle for Lila to use, making Klaus retract, sipping on his kombucha.

"You know what it is," Diego said as Lila disgustingly exclaimed, "Not the pee bottle!"

"Right," Diego agreed. "Use it."

He threw it back, making everyone protest in disgust.

"Pull over, man," Five pleaded.

"We are sticking to the itinerary," Diego announced.

"Five, open the window," Luther requested, his stomach rumbling. Ben seconded the notion and Five weakly turned to open it.

Just as he was cranking the window handle, it broke in his hand, and stared at it in surprise.

"What the- Did you just break the window, man!?" Diego yelled, taking the handle in his hand and causing the van to swerve.

"Hey, you spilled my kombucha!" Klaus yelled back angrily.

"Ok, I'm really sorry for this!" Clementine shouted and lifted a hand.

Diego returned his eyes to the road to see a horde of pedestrians crossing the street and stepped on the brake, screeching the vehicle to a stop.

Five, Lila, Ben, Luther and Clementine exited the vehicle and went to different spots to retch out the contents of their stomach. Diego soon followed, trying to support his wife, as well as do his own thing.

Allison woke up from her deep sleep to see the vehicle empty except for Klaus. "What happened?"

"Oh, yeah, I think it's the reappearance of the marigold in their bloods. Causing some reactions in their bodies, I guess."

"Well, why isn't anything happening to us, then?" She asked.

Klaus shrugged and got out another bottle of his kombucha, and opening it triggered Allison's gag reflex.

"Oh, Christ it's not the marigold, you idiot," she muttered before exiting.

Klaus just gave another shrug and continued to drink his healthy drink, not understanding the fact that it was in fact, the drink that was making them retch.

About fifteen minutes later, all of them returned to the vehicle and the first thing Luther did upon doing so, was to snatch Klaus's bag and throw away his kombuchas.

"Hey, what are you doing!?" He asked.

"No more kombuchas, Klaus, please," Ben pleaded and Klaus agreed.

Many hours later, at night, Clementine was the one sitting awake in the passenger seat at night, as everyone took turns to sleep behind the backseat.

Diego slapped himself to keep himself awake, turning back to look at everyone sleeping. He stared at Lila for a split second, before turning back to look at the road.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Clementine said softly, sounding truly apologetic.

Diego gave her a side glance, to see her lent back in her seat with her feet on the dashboard, that too after asking for permission. "What do you mean?"

She turned her head to the side to look at him. "The pedestrians. They weren't real."

He only gave her a confused look before she said, "My power is making up illusions. It's actually way more complicated than that, but, in short, yeah."

"So if I'd hit them, I'd just have gone through them?"

"Well, not exactly. See, I make illusions in a more... physical state. Like, um. It would've been a physical hit for you, but it still wouldn't have been real."

"Huh. That's weird," Diego said.

"Tell me about it," Clementine replied with a sigh.

"What year were you born in?" He asked inquisitively.

"1989. Just like the rest of you."

"You should be in your thirties then. Like the rest of us."

"Five's not in his thirties."

"He's a special case, so to speak."

"Well, if you put it like that," Clementine said, sitting up straight. "I'm a special case too."

Diego gave her a surprised look filled with curiosity, making her chuckle.

"Yeah, I'm a 63 year old soul stuck in a 22 year old body."

"Fuck," he said, setting his elbow on the car windowsill and rubbing at his forehead. "So, what, were you stuck in the future with Five? Wait. Are you Delores?"

"What? No. Delores was just someone he imagined because of his desperation. I was stuck in a... a different apocalypse, so to speak. Stuck in it for 13 years, and then the Commission found me. Worked there for about 31 years."

"Damn. Can't believe you managed to work in that shithole for that long," Diego murmured. "I couldn't even sit through their beginning presentation."

She chuckled again, cracking her neck. "Yeah, it got boring for me too. After about... two years."

He scoffed in disbelief as they fell silent, Diego thinking about what he heard Clementine just trying not to sleep, her eyes fluttering close.

One hour later, Clementine woke to see the sky streaked in beautiful sunrise colors. She stretched and turned to the side, blinking in surprise after seeing Five at the wheel.

"Diego wanted a break," he said.

She nodded in understanding, stretching her arms with a soft groan when Five asked, "So, did you remember everything or...?"

"Oh, yeah," she affirmed.

"So, you were just pulling my leg when you were always teasing me about being a step ahead of me?"

"Yup," she replied cheerfully. "It was revenge for the time back at the Commission. God, you were an egoistic asshole back then."

He scoffed, running a hand through his hair to pull the strands off his eyes. "I heard you went rogue back then."

"I did," she confirmed. "It was around the time you got your folks to the 60s. I kind of got the motivation to save one of my people."

"Did you?"

"I don't know. Don't think so."

"Why?"

She turned back to look out the window, a faraway look in her eyes.

"She didn't really want to be saved."

Five heaved a heavy sigh at that, as a numbing memory flashed in Clementine's mind.

"Mom. You'll be able to grow old, away from all this," Clementine said, with an encouraging smile.

"And what, make a life for myself again? No, thanks. You kill your father, and then you vanish for 13 years-"

"31," Clementine interjected softly.

"What?" Her mother asked with a confused look on her face.

"It's been 31 years since I left," she repeated, her knuckles pale because of her grip on the handle of her briefcase.

"So, what are you saying that you're 58?"

"Yes. I work for this company that's based on time, alright? That's how I'm here right now. Now, can you please just open the suitcase and get to a safe timeline?"

"I would rather die," was the answering snarl.

"Oh my god, don't you get it? You did die, Mom! I was stuck in the aftermath of this for 13 years! And then I came back, 27 years ago to stop it, but nobody believed me. I've watched you die once. Don't make me watch it again."

"Well, then, get out! Nobody's asking you to stay!"

Clementine scoffed as tears welled in her eyes, placing the second briefcase on the floor.

"What're you keeping that here for?"

"I don't have any use for it. Plus, you might change your mind. Just put a random year, and a random number beside it. You'll be safe, then."

And with that Clementine opened the briefcase and blipped out, leaving her mother to her own.

Clementine sighed as she shook her head, looking at the road. "How much time till we reach?"

"About two hours, give or take," Five answered.

She let out another tired groan. "God, we better get something in this town or else I'm gonna kill Sy myself."

"What's the deal with this guy, anyway? Why're you so worried about him?" Five asked.

"He's just this... sweet, sad man whose daughter went missing years ago. He's very gullible when it comes to that, so... I don't know. I've just been helping him. Kinda."

"I thought you didn't like old people," Five pointed out from the conversation they'd had years ago when they were partnered up on a mission.

"Okay, again. I don't like the vast majority of the d people because they're assholes. They keep bringing up their times and how they lived life back in the old ages when it clearly doesn't apply to the modern one. That said, there are a few badass old people who move on with the times. Those old people, I like," Clementine concluded. "Also, Sy's like 52. So, he's not old."

"How's 52 not old?" He asked incredulously.

"Dude old is, in corporate terms, 60s, but according to me old is when a person starts their old age. 50 to 70 is middle aged."

"Huh. Guess we're middle aged then."

"Yeah, I guess," Clementine said, before laughing softly. "God, that's weird. In people's eyes we're just young people who've just started adulting, whereas we've literally lived half our lives."

"Half of our shitty lives," Five corrected.

"What are you guys yapping about?" Lila asked sleepily, turning around into another uncomfortable position. "Shut up."

They promptly did, choosing to stay silent for the rest of the ride. Five couldn't help but feel nice about finally knowing that his only acquaintance at the Commission actually knew who he was since the start.

He'd almost forgotten about her, but then, the moment he'd seen her in the CIA building, he had known that other than his family, she would be another one of the known people that he could rely on. He'd smiled with glee the first time she'd made a snarky remark regarding the number of cases he'd solved.

Even now, he was happy that she was here travelling with them. Oddly enough, he knew that she'd get along perfectly with his family.

Likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!!! Tysm for reading❤️🩷💜

TUA taglist: @auxiliarydetective if anyone wants to be added, do lemme know!!!

[himebushou]

S4 of The Umbrella Academy was so garbage.

Geez. Why limit the season to 6 eps when every other season has had 10... even a runtime of 8 eps would have probably helped with the pacing issues, at least a bit.

It felt like nothing had any payoff. The CIA turning out to be Keepers? Shrug emoji. Nothing of consequence. The whole subway system came out of nowhere — it turns out that there were other ways to travel through time after all. The whole Gene and Jean thing was stretched out for so long and we got zero insight into why Sy knew so much — unless he was Abigail in disguise the whole time? But who cares?

There were some nice moments between the siblings: Allison and Klaus were mostly pretty sweet (except WHAT the heck were Allison's powers supposed to be? Also, Klaus didn't get to do anything except get locked up and buried alive) and I like that Luther and Diego got some time to bond (though, again, their skills were wasted).

Ben was. Odd. Poor kid just gets to die multiple times. And props to Viktor for actually trying to reason with Reginald and finally getting some validation from him.

The whole Lila and Five thing was so gross and completely unnecessary... I've always had issues with the way Lila was written (those 'kooky for the sake of kooky' characters can get pretty boring and I felt the same way about Klaus throughout a lot of the show). Five was my favourite from the start and just. Eurgh. #noonewantedthat

And the dialogue was so BAD. Some of the lines made me cringe so much. "To be honest I can't stop thinking about her" like. Okay Ben.

And even worse were these poignant moments happening in front of audiences and all the other characters on set just standing around completely wooden... like. What? Lila's family are in the background hearing that her marriage has fallen apart and they don't even act remotely shocked? What?

Claire was definitely one of the best parts of this season. She was a sweetheart.

Urgh. Overall, the whole thing just felt incredibly sloppy, poorly explained (WHY did Jennifer get the durango?) and as though the creative team had run out of ideas. There were so many moments where the Umbrellas acted with no urgency at all (like sitting around enjoying a Christmas party when they were supposed to be looking for Ben, or going to work as normal when they'd promised some random guy that they'd find his daughter within 24 hours). Powers morphed at the drop of a hat for plot convenience. Everyone got on board with the idea of being erased from existence without much fuss (apart from the whole thing about where the kids would end up). What was the significance of the giant squid? How were there so many Keepers? And what exactly were they keeping?

Also, I'm annoyed that they used 'Map of the Problematique' (a song I adore) to no effect; the lyrics didn't match the scenes of the Keepers arming themselves and it didn't fit the mood and just!

Anyway, two of the biggest issues I have:

If this version of Reginald is as callous as the others (after all, he did have Ben shot), then why did he waste all that time creating a fake world for Jennifer to live in?

Presumably, the only reason the Cleanse worked is because the creature eventually found the other kids that had marigold in them? Or, in this timeline, did only the Umbrellas have marigold? And in 150,000 timelines, are we supposed to believe that the Cleanse only happened once?

It's so stupid, oh man. The show's refusal to bring in the other marigold children outside of the Umbrellas was always so stinky — I thought we'd get something interesting when the Sparrows were introduced last season, but half of them died within a few episodes and geez, so much wasted potential.

Pretty glad the show is done now if that was the trajectory, lol.

[alwayshasacold]

Right I’ve given it a bit since I finished the season so I’m not coming fresh off the binge with my thoughts. I’m not like great at phrasing and they’re not fully thought over yet but like I need to get them into words so here we go.

The short version is that while I still had fun with that season it is definitely the worst by far. Not sure if it was a necessary addition but I’ve never been solid on ending with season 3 either so won’t argue that making it was by itself a mistake. Ending was alright I guess, wasn’t good but like wasn’t horrifically bad yknow, very okay. I think that reduced ep count definitely did the season in ultimately, though we will never know now if that would’ve fixed some of the worst issues it has.

The apocalypse itself was very shitty, every other season plays into a common apocalypse trope and tbh from what we’ve seen of the death of Reggie’s world there were plenty of options to go for there to keep in trend and make it the same. Massive cgi monster you have to invent new lore to have is just boring as fuck.

Character writing wasn’t great, though the potential is there for them in most cases which is definitely at least one consequence of reduced episode count. Klaus relapse makes some sense (his powers and his addiction are always closely connected) and while I’ve seen people arguing about it being pointless if season was longer I could perhaps see it go somewhere. Luther living in the academy is very in character, he’s always been the one with the most positive connections to the place and it’s no coincidence he always tries to return there when possible. Diego not finding purpose in family life checks from his whole action hero complex, though obviously it needed more time and respect. Alison not being able to get a career off the ground or be a perfect wife or parent could’ve gone somewhere but I’d just mostly played for jokes so I’m still iffy on that one. Lila not being able to adjust to family life also checks considering she’s never had anything even resembling it, and her seeking solutions independently works from her character so far. Viktor doesn’t really have anything at first, but being able to have the time with his dad is probably the best relationship stuff we got all season and it was quite nice, though could’ve done with a bit more depth. My main gripe with his storyline is the lack of interaction really with Reggie’s wife, who’s obviously the original owner of his violin, though the showrunners not doing anything with the sound guys musical talent has been a problem since season 3 so. So we’ve got at least four decent character threads that could’ve worked, and until proven otherwise I will assume the reduced episode count is to blame for given the foundations aerosols enough.

Now onto the plain bad. They clearly had no clue what to do with five. Guy goes from wanting to retire to working for the CIA which is of course not explained. Him almost abandoning his family also doesn’t work from the guy who’s entire motivation is protecting them. And the whole romance with Lila doesn’t really make sense mostly. Five has historically turned to things like that in similar situations (Delores) but obviously he wouldn’t disrespect his family in that way which is the main issue. Same goes for Lila on the same issue. With Ben they seemed to also have no clue what they were doing, especially with consideration of the clip at the end of season 3. While I appreciate getting the reasoning behind his death, the reasoning itself isn’t the best tbh. And not giving him a proper ending is just shitty tbh, though I do appreciate his last moments are trying to help his family with the last of his ability to do so.

The lack of music this season was also very disappointing. There were very few tracks used and none really stood out beyond baby shark, which was a funny bit tbf as much as I hate the song but like the fact we got four lots of baby shark and barely more other pieces of music says it all. The choreography also fell flat - we got what, one choreographed fight scene (which I did enjoy tbf, but it’s far from the best and it being the only one is genuinely shitty) and one dance scene that didn’t fit the music? Like the music and choreography of umbrella academy is one of its most iconic features and it’s honestly the most disappointing thing about the season to me that a lot of that character that it’s always had has been lost.

Also on the lacking side was the costuming but that’s only a minor complaint, just wasn’t enough variety imo but once again probably just the reduced episode count preventing more organic costume changes.

As for other things, I loved Jean and Gene, once again they needed more time like everything else this season but they were great from what we got of them. I liked Reggie and his wife, the whole plotting of her not appreciating being revived needed more time and establishing but I like the concept and roles they played this season. The idea that people are able to figure out that the timeline has been reset is neat and I like that being used as a secondary antagonist group who want an apocalypse to fix things. This season obviously carries over prior issues the series has always had: lack of seriousness about series issues (sexual assault, drug abuse, etc) though slightly improved for making a slightly better effort at addressing klaus‘s self destructive behaviour was made if nothing else, being a bit too reliant of jokiness at times etc but nothing it’s never had issues with. The gross out vomit humour this season wasn’t great and could do with a warning also. I would’ve liked them to do more with the subway and timeline stuff, especially considering both how sick it looked and how all over the marketing it was, but it was probably another casualty of reduced run time.

I believe I’ve addressed most major thoughts I’ve had so far on the finale, though I’ll come back later if I have more. Overall, I definitely don’t think it was the best ending to the series, but I prefer it ending now while at least it’s got something left than it continue and tire itself out for good. It was a very okay six episodes that were fun enough, but I expected and hoped for more from a series I have consistently loved, and unfortunately I don’t believe this series will benefit from the boost in opinion season 3 has gotten from subsequent rewatches.

[the-sewerrats]

I’ll never get over how perfect “Short Change Hero” is for tua s3 finale

Like the guitar notes in the beginning having the same notes as “House of the Rising Sun” WHICH IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT SONG FOR S3 because that’s where we see how the world ended

And then the lyrics being about how there cant be any heroes in the world, because they lost. They tried to be heroes but Reginald and Allison were in it for themselves, and they “won”

They didn’t save the universe, they were put into a new one.

So if you take the lyrics quite literally “this ain’t no place for no hero, to call home”

And the verses are about how someone lied and cheated on the speaker. But the person who lied won, which is exactly what happened.

Also just the idea of “heroes” is a common theme in season three or honestly just the whole show. They all want to save someone, whether it’s themselves or someone (or multiple people) they care about.

Luther wants to save the world or his family and then himself from the abuse he’s suffered.

Diego wants to be a hero, that much is very obvious, he’s got a MAJOR hero complex, and he wants to protect the ones he loves, he couldn’t do that with Patch but he can protect Lila.

Allison wants to save this perfect idea of a family, her perfect family isn’t exactly real but she believes it is and she wants to save and protect it.

Klaus wants to save Dave, and then when he accepts that he can’t he wants to protect himself and his family.

Five very obviously has an issue with wanting to save the world. And then he’s told to “not save the world”

Six Ben sacrificed himself to be a hero.

Two Ben takes the whole “hero job” very seriously but also wants to save himself, and during his emotional moments it’s clear he wanted to save his family as well.

Viktor wants to save people but his arc is about how he’s scared that his power seems to hurt people when he just wants to help them. As a kid he always wanted to be a hero like his siblings but their dad wouldn’t let them.

But this new world isn’t theirs, they can’t be heroes here because that’s not what this world allows. And the song is so perfect for this ending scene, it makes me so ‼️‼️‼️‼️