#also the writer of the movie had a heart attack in the middle of writing the script so they ended up improvising a lot of the film???
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eurekavalley · 2 years ago
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Jane Fonda is so fascinating, like she had three husbands and reinvented herself for each of them in a way that was always authentic to herself, and also only became herself after leaving all of them and giving up on marriage altogether. After her first divorce, she moved back in with her dad and let the Black Panthers use his apartment for press conferences while she served cocktails to reporters, until the FBI showed up and her dad asked her to move out. When she was married to Tom Hayden, she was the major breadwinner and she also did all the dishes and laundry by hand because he wanted them to live like the proletariat. When they needed a source of funds for his economic justice work, she made her first workout tape and it sold 17 million copies. Sometimes she took her laundry over to the house of her French ex-husband to use his washing machine in secret. For Coming Home, she refused to film the part of a love scene that implied p*netration, so the final cut just has Jon Voight going down on her. Then she had to justify it to her socialist husband *and* her five-times-married dad who were both mad about it, and then she won an Oscar for it. When she was exiled for Hollywood for her political views she filmed a version of The Dollhouse where she made Nora a lesbian against the director's wishes and he had to cut around it. Then she married a billionaire and lived on a ranch for ten years. Then she went back to Hollywood and had a whole other career. Just a total legend.
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mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea · 10 months ago
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4, 7 and 11 pls <3
4. 🧭An alternative title to your/ one of your WIP(s)?
For the Hard as Diamond, Tough as Iron series, Part 3, which is currently titled "Like the desert waiting for the rain," it could just be another lyric from the Norah Jones' song, Turn Me On - "Come on home and turn me on."
7. 🖍Post Any sentence from your wip
From the Wantons light of heart series, Part 3 "To see you eat in the middle of the night (It's Friday I'm in love)":
(and you get more than just a sentence)
“I could never hide anything from you,” Scott replied with a resigned chuckle.  He caught her hand and kissed the back before squeezing it.  “I guess I’m just nervous.” 
“What could you possibly be nervous about?  Tony coming to stay with you for the weekend?  You were with him all last weekend, and when you showed up on Monday, the whole school could see the difference.” 
Emma stepped back and this time lowered herself into one of the chairs across from his desk so they could talk. 
“I know.  Logan walked up to me in the hall when I was rushing to get to my first class and made a big production number of sniffing me and claiming, ‘Got ya some, didn’t ya?’”  Scott laughed about it now, but at the time, he’d been intent on making it to the class before he was the late one, and Logan hadn’t been quiet about it, leaving him red-faced and stuttering as he tried to get his students to pay attention. 
11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?
Also from Wantons -
I haven't gotten to the scene yet, but I suspect it'll be a bit of a struggle just because I haven't written something in a fic like this before.
It'll be the post-dinner scene, and the students are enjoying their Friday night of not doing homework, the other adults are either watching movies, playing games or whatever. During dinner, Jean gets upset when Tony and Scott won't rise to her bitchy comments, and she unlocks something in Tony's mind, but it doesn't hit until Tony and Scott have returned to Scott's room and are getting frisky with each other. Suddenly, Tony's memories of the night at the art gala come back to him, the ones he brushed off as "I got drunk and stupidly had sex with Jean," and all of a sudden, it's the full memories of what she actually orchestrated in his thoughts (and on his person), and he goes into a panic attack that he can't verbalize to Scott what's going on. Scott mind-calls for Emma, and she and Loki both show up (they're an item), and while Loki is familiar with Tony's panic attacks to start helping him, Emma's able to get into his mind and sees what the hell happened.
I know I'll be able to write the scene, but I suspect it'll be a struggle to get it all out in a way that packs the biggest punch and not give myself anxiety in the process because of the control taken away from Tony.
Thank you for the asks!
Writer Procrastination Ask.
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augustmourn · 1 year ago
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Twenty Questions for a Fic Writer
Tagged by @hearthouses and @ladyculebras!
How many works do you have on ao3?
162.
What's your total ao3 word count?
557,449 words.
What fandoms do you write for?
I tend to bounce from fandom to fandom and don't generally return to older ones, so the fandoms I've written for in the past I may not write much or at all in the future. I've written the most works for IT Movies, followed by Star Wars, but more recently I've been writing for The Locked Tomb and Danganronpa. All for the Game is probably my longest-standing fandom I can easily dip back into. I also have a bunch of other fandoms I've tried out writing once or twice for exchanges.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Unexpected - 1,192 kudos. Bojack Horseman, Bojack/Mr. Peanutbutter. Fake dating/accidental marriage. For a long time it was the most kudosed fic in the fandom but has now been surpassed by a couple of megacrossovers. I'm pretty proud of this one--I love any fic where I get to stretch my comedy muscles and I've been told it does pretty well at hitting the canon tone.
you know what they say about assumptions - 865 kudos. Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan. Modern AU. Maybe the only modern AU I've ever written? I think it's just had a long time to compile kudos.
Into the Dark - 716 kudos. IT Movies, Richie/Eddie. Time loop.
The Kids Are Alright - 670 kudos. IT Movies, Richie/Eddie. Teen years getting together fic, the only explicit rated fic on this list.
Lights Will Guide You Home - 632 kudos. Star Wars, attempt at plot, eternally unfinished WIP that I started when I was sixteen. I do sometimes think about orphaning it.
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I used to. I try to. But I ended up with a backlog that I can never get through and now I mostly just go in bursts and respond to everything on a couple recent fics and leave it at that.
What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
This feels hard to determine! I've written a lot of stories and it's hard to remember all of them, lol. I'm excluding noncon because that's too easy. Scorp's suggestion for this one was quiet birds in circled flight, which is an IT fic where Richie commits suicide. the kind of love (i've been dreaming of) is a Raven Cycle resurrected-and-came-back-wrong fic. an eye for an eye is an All For The Game gore fic where Neil gets his eye taken out and everything is terrible.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Unexpected is an accidental-marriage-turns-real fic that is pretty fluffy. real love is a heart attack is an arranged-marriage-turns-sexy fic. Maybe that's a theme. (Realizing as I go through my fics that I rarely write endings that are really nice or really bad. Usually somewhere in the middle.)
Do you get hate on fics?
I wrote a werewolf porn fic where some people got really mad about the wolf sex in the comments. Other than that, just some unrequested concrit a couple of times.
Do you write smut?
All the time. My nano story from last month ending up gen was the biggest shock of my life.
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Never have, and I don't know if I ever will. They just don't really appeal to me for some reason.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I think it happened in IT fandom, but by the time I went to look into it it was gone already.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! One of my All for the Game fics was translated into Russian.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Never done it. If I did so, I'd definitely want to ask someone who speaks the language to look it over for me.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, I think I'm too much of a control freak and also slightly uncertain how it would work.
What's your all-time favorite ship?
Whatever I'm currently obsessed with eclipses everything, so I don't know if I have all-timers, but Neil/Riko from All for the Game eats my brain all the time.
What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Anything from prior fandoms, really. But I can't think of any examples right now. I have a million little bits and pieces floating around in my google drive, but I'm not really thinking about them anymore.
What are your writing strengths?
I love writing smut. Apparently I'm good at dialogue, although I find it painful a lot of the time. When I try for comedy, it tends to land. And I love writing horror and I'm always delighted when people tell me I've genuinely disturbed them, lol.
What are your writing weaknesses?
I'm terrible at plot. It's really hard for me to think of things to happen, which seems like an insane problem for a writer to have, but it's true. And I'm not great at doing any kind of heavy editing. 80% of what I type the first time stays on the page.
First fandom you wrote for?
Hunger Games, when I was 11/12.
Favorite fic you've written?
Oh, man, I think I have a recency bias, but Crashing is definitely the fic I'm proudest of. It's 72k and almost five times as long as the previous longest story I'd ever finished. It was a huge accomplishment and I'm still so happy I did it.
Tagging anyone who wants to do it!
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docrotten · 1 year ago
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LUST FOR A VAMPIRE (1971) – Episode 196 – Decades Of Horror 1970s
“He had a heart attack.” And you get a heart attack! Everybody gets a heart attack! Is that normal? Join your faithful Grue Crew – Doc Rotten, Bill Mulligan, Chad Hunt, and Jeff Mohr – as they count the heart attacks while they continue their reverse trek through Hammer’s Karnstein Trilogy with Lust for a Vampire (1971).
Decades of Horror 1970s Episode 196 – Lust for a Vampire (1971)
Join the Crew on the Gruesome Magazine YouTube channel! Subscribe today! And click the alert to get notified of new content! https://youtube.com/gruesomemagazine
Decades of Horror 1970s is partnering with the WICKED HORROR TV CHANNEL (https://wickedhorrortv.com/) which now includes video episodes of the podcast and is available on Roku, AppleTV, Amazon FireTV, AndroidTV, and its online website across all OTT platforms, as well as mobile, tablet, and desktop.
In 1830, forty years to the day since the last manifestation of their dreaded vampirism, the Karnstein heirs use the blood of an innocent to bring forth the evil that is the beautiful Mircalla, or as she was in 1710, Carmilla.
  Director: Jimmy Sangster
Writers: Tudor Gates (screenplay); J. Sheridan Le Fanu (based on characters created by)
Selected Cast:
Barbara Jefford as Countess Herritzen
Ralph Bates as Giles Barton
Suzanna Leigh as Janet Playfair
Yutte Stensgaard as Mircalla / Carmilla Karnstein
Michael Johnson as Richard Lestrange
Helen Christie as Miss Simpson
Mike Raven as Count Karnstein (dubbed by  Valentine Dyall)
Christopher Cunningham as Coachman
Harvey Hall as Inspector Heinrich
Michael Brennan as Landlord
Pippa Steel as Susan Pelley
Judy Matheson as Amanda McBride
Caryl Little as Isabel Courtney
David Healy as Raymond Pelley
Jonathan Cecil as Arthur Biggs
Erik Chitty as Professor Herz (as Eric Chitty)
Jack Melford as Bishop
Christopher Neame as Hans
Kirsten Lindholm as Peasant Girl
Luan Peters as Trudi
In the Seventies, Hammer Films struggled to find its way as horror films moved away from gothic horror into modern-day terrors; however, the company famous for Dracula and Frankenstein did earn some success with a trio of films referred to as The Karnstein Trilogy. The Grue Crew settles in to revisit the middle entry, Lust for a Vampire, which follows Vampire Lovers (1970) and leads into Twins of Evil (1971). Unfortunately, the film was plagued with misfortune from the onset: both Peter Cushing and Ingrid Pitt refused to return; the original director, Terence Fisher, suffered injuries when he was hit by a car and was replaced at the last minute by Jimmy Sangster; the director and the writer clashed with producers who insisted on including the pop song “Strange Love.” Even co-star Ralph Bates called the feature, “One of the worst films ever made.” Certainly, there must be some highlights. Certainly…
At the time of this writing, Lust for a Vampire is available to stream from  Shudder, AMC+, Tubi, and Flix Fling. The movie is also available on physical media as a Blu-ray from Shout! Factory.
Gruesome Magazine’s Decades of Horror 1970s is part of the Decades of Horror two-week rotation with The Classic Era and the 1980s. In two weeks, the next episode, chosen by Doc, will be Kingdom of the Spiders (1977). William Shatner and 5,000 spiders! What could go wrong?
We want to hear from you – the coolest, grooviest fans: comment on the site or email the Decades of Horror 1970s podcast hosts at [email protected]
Check out this episode!
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literallymitch · 4 years ago
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…𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭? || 𝐃.𝐃
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requested: no
summary: third part of the reputation series in which the reader thinks about her tme with Damiano
pairing: Damiano David x Famous!Reader
word count: 2.2k
what kind of content: fluff, one part is a bit more spicy
warnings: panic attack, some spicy stuff in the middle
a/n this really turned out the way I wanted sorry
part 1  part 2
@maneskinweek
“Are you ready to destroy the whole industry?” Basti, my producer, asked me laughing.
“To destroy the industry? I don’t know. But I’m definitely ready to get back to making music now.” I answered him.
“As if you weren’t writing and recording some melodies on your phone already for the past three months. We both know Mr. Loverboy gave you some inspiration.”
Feeling caught, I just shook my head and looked at the floor. Basti was right, Damiano really inspired me a lot over the past few months. I never really was a huge love song writer, but here I am trying to come up with anything that’s not a love song.
After Basti and I finished our session today, I went back home. Back home, the house was empty. It was kind of weird being home alone with my cats again. The last few months, Damiano was either at my house or I was at his place. There weren’t a lot of days we didn’t spend together. I sighed, dropping my bag to the floor and taking of my shoes. I already was in comfy clothes, so I thankfully didn’t have to change. Again I checked my phone to see if Damiano has texted me. Seeing there were no new messages from him, I got a bit sad. I know he was on a promo tour through Europe now, and still I was as impatient as a little kid, waiting to open presents on Christmas day.
I walked into the kitchen to grab myself something to drink and the leftovers from dinner yesterday, then I made my way to my patio. Usually I would sit here with Damiano talking about the most random things. Instead, I was sitting here eating my dinner alone now. After a while I got up to get my notebook, I then returned to my patio to write yet another love song about Damiano.
Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom Holdin' him for ransom
“Oh my god, stop staring at him. It’s like your eyes are actually glued to him.” my friend said, laughing.
I tried not to stare at him, but it was like he’s a star glowing while all the other people in the bar are just invisible. They still were right, I should stop staring. I should try not fall for someone like him in general. There was no way he does not have a god complex, looking like this. I don��t even want to know how many girls had sleepless nights because of him. No, I wouldn’t be one of them. Never in a million years this I want to be in the same situation I was a few years ago.
I had to laugh a little, thinking back to the night I first saw Damiano. I really thought I wasn’t going to fall in love with him. And here I am now writing another love song about him. I still couldn't believe how quick and hard I fell for him.
Some boys are tryin' too hard He don't try at all, though
All the other guys I dated before, always tried to play the most romantic dates or buy the most expensive gifts. Damiano on the other hand hasn’t done such things yet. He isn’t the most romantic person ever, but he also doesn’t have to be. It’s the little gestures and the things he says, that make me fall for him more and more every day. These are the things, that make me feel like he actually cares about me. A smile formed itself on my face thinking back to the little things Damiano did, that made my heart beat faster.
“Y/n look, your favorite movie is on. I’ll get us some popcorn”
“Text me when you get home, safely!”
One thing that really stuck in my mind, happened some night after we knew each other for two months then.
I sat in my room crying, having a mild panic attack. I usually got used to reading some hate comments about me that popped up online now and then. This time it was different. I saw a tweet that said I’d never sell a single ticket anymore. I knew this wasn’t true, because I still had fans that stood behind me, but it felt like someone ripped my heart out. Making music and performing it in front of big audiences always was my dream. A dream that became reality. A dream that now was destroyed. I was so scared I couldn’t to the stuff I loved the most anymore. That’s when the panic attack started. It was so bad, I didn’t even hear Damiano come back.
“Hey Y/n what’s wrong. God come here.”
He pulled me in his arms, trying to calm me down, as I just sobbed into his shirt.
“Y/n you need to breathe, ok? Breath with me, come on, you can do it.” he made me look at him, trying to help me steady my breath.
After a while, I finally calmed down a little.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”,  he sounded worried, as he spoke.
“I- I just saw something on Twitter, saying that I won’t sell tickets anymore, and I don’t know, I just felt like my whole world is crushing down. Music is my life, and I’m scared I won’t be able to ever make music again. Also, seeing all this hate gets me more than I thought.” I told him honestly.
“Everything will get better, ok? You will be able to do music again and the hate will stop, because the truth always comes out ok and until then I’ll always be by your side. I won’t let you do this alone.”
Younger than my exes but he act like such a man, so
Damiano is the first guy I’m dating, who is younger than I. He’s 22, and I’ll be turning 25 soon. The guys I dated before Damiano usually were my age or a bit older. I never saw myself dating someone younger who's younger than me, thinking they wouldn’t be mature enough. Boy was I wrong. Damiano is more mature than all my exes together. His parents definitely raised him well.
I see nothing better, I keep him forever Like a vendetta-ta 
The more I think about it, the more I come to the conclusion that Damiano is actually perfect. He’s funny, caring, good to talk to, gorgeous and so much more. I have only known him for three months now, but there was no way he’d get rid of me ever again. I rolled my eyes at myself, as I realized how bad I fell for him.
I-I-I see how this is gon' go Touch me and you'll never be alone I-Island breeze and lights down low No one has to know
One week after my panic attack, the Italian and I did a two-day trip to Capri. We couldn’t really go out a lot, because we didn’t want to get seen by paparazzi. The people who owned the place, we stayed at, were so nice and told us there was a quiet beach close to our house, only some locals knew about. We took a walk down the beach that night after dinner. It was beautiful.
When we got back to our place, we went upstairs to our bedroom. I opened the window and enjoyed the sound of the ocean. Suddenly, I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist from behind. I put my hands over Damiano's as he pushed my hair to the side and started kissing my neck.
My heart started beating faster, and I had a tingly feel in my stomach. He started to slightly suck on the skin of my neck, between his little kisses. When he started to suck and nibble on my sweet spot, I let out a small moan. I could feel the singer smirk against my neck. He turned me around and his smirk turned into a smile as he saw that I was blushing.
“You’re too cute.” he said before he started kissing me.
As we made out, things got a bit more heated. My hands were buried in his hair, slightly pulling it, which made Damiano moan now. Hearing him moan turned me on even more. The slight island breeze and his touch made me go crazy. He lifted me up and carried me to the bed. I could feel his hard-on pressing against me.
“I want you.” he whispered against my lips.
Me, I was a robber first time that he saw me Stealing hearts and running off and never saying sorry But if I'm a thief, then he can join the heist And we'll move to an island
Remember when Damiano asked me where my boyfriend was, the night we first met? I didn’t lie when I said Andre wasn’t my boyfriend, but he wanted to be my boyfriend. After our dated he actually asked me to be his girlfriend saying that I “stole his heart”. I wasn’t interested in him, nor did I want to have a relationship. At least that’s what I thought before I laid my eyes on Damiano. Now look where we are now. I wanted to steal his heart, but I wouldn’t run off this time. I would run away with him. Capri definitely seemed like a good place to stay at.
Every lover known in comparison is a failure I forget their names now, I'm so very tame now Never be the same now, now
As I said before, all the guys I dated before Damiano were nothing compared to him. He was the diamond between all these stones, that were my exes. Usually I gave boys a hard time trying to get with me, really making sure they were worth my time. With Damiano, it was different. He just had to exist, to make me fall for him and give him a chance. Everything just felt like it was meant to be with him. Everyone around me could feel how I got much more chill since I was with him. Normally, I was always stressed by every little thing that didn’t work out like I wanted it to. Now I was barely stressed and I love it. I felt like a whole new person when I was with him. I was relaxed, happy and carefree. Never have I felt like this, with any of my boyfriends, before.
Baby, let the games begin Let the games begin Let the games begin
“So when can I tell the others, you're finally mine?” Damiano asked me
“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend right now,” I was kind of shocked since I didn’t see that coming.
“Yeah, I mean it’s kind of overdue isn’t it?”
“Yes it totally is” I gave him a kiss, both of smiling bright.
“Good now I can tell the others you’re mine, and you can write more songs about me.” he winked at me.
“Wait, did you read the stuff in my notebook?”
“Yes, but by accident, and I think you’re gorgeous too.”, before I could say anything else he kissed me again.
In the middle of the night, in my dreams You should see the things we do, baby In the middle of the night, in my dreams I know I'm gonna be with you So I take my time 
I woke up the next morning having a smile on my face. Sadly, I wasn’t able to wake up next to Damiano. The dream I had kind of made up for the empty spot in my bed beside me. All the nostalgia yesterday probably made me dream about Damiano. Not that it was the first time I did so, actually I dreamed of him a lot. That’s why I always made sure to go to bed earlier when he wasn’t around. Less time being sad, because he wasn’t there. More time dreaming of him in the middle of the night.
Are you ready for it?
I finally got a call from Damiano shortly after I woke up.
“Hey, beautiful, did you sleep well?” I was greeted by his soothing voice
“Hey handsome, yes I did. I’m gonna have breakfast now and then drive to the studio.“
“Great, we have a show later. I won’t keep you distracted for too long now, so you can finish up the songs about me. I also need to go now sadly, I’ll text you later bye amore.”
“Bye love.”, the sadness in my voice was a bit more clear than I thought it would be.
I tried not to think about the fact, that Damiano won’t come home in the next two weeks, but rather about songs that weren’t about him. I can’t release an album full of love songs after what is happening right now.
There will still be a ton of love songs on this album, and Damiano better gets ready to hear me simp about him for at least forty minutes.
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swordladywritesthings · 4 years ago
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Kiss The Girl
Pairing: prinxiety (surprise, i know /s)
Words: 987
TWs: kissing, just a little anxiety
AN: i was playing minecraft with one of my friends and this idea hit me so i was like “i have to leave immediately” and rushed over to my google docs (also I had to listen to this song for an hour straight to get the vibes right lol)
   Well, this wasn’t exactly how Roman had pictured his night going. 
   He and Virgil were sitting on the couch in the living room of the mindscape, having their weekly movie night. It had become a tradition after Thomas met Nico in the mall, because if Thomas was around Nico, both Roman and Virgil were going to be nearby. So instead of sitting on opposite sides of the room in silence like they had the first couple of times, they decided to make use of the time and become better friends.
   Well, friends from Virgil’s side, Roman was convinced. Despite the crush he had been nursing for upwards of two years, he had still managed to convince himself that he had no chance with him. So, ignoring every romantic bone in his body, Roman sat quietly on the couch with Virgil, just the two of them, every week. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
   This week they were watching The Little Mermaid, one of Roman’s absolute favorites. Well, they were trying to watch, but they kept getting distracted by arguing playfully about the plot points of the movie. Currently Virgil was talking animatedly about how Ariel should have just written a note to the prince stating that she couldn’t speak, and Roman couldn’t help but sigh adoringly. This caught Virgil’s attention, and he turned his head curiously toward Roman.
   Roman’s breath caught in his throat. Something about the way the TV’s light spilled across Virgil’s face, making the glittery purple eyeshadow under his mismatched eyes appear almost blue, made his heart skip a beat. His lips were raised in a confused but friendly smile, and Roman couldn’t help but echo it. They stayed there, frozen, for a moment, before Virgil snorted and the moment shattered. 
   “You good over there, Princey?” He asked, clearly teasing as he bumped his shoulder against Roman’s.
   “I’m fine!” Roman said, and his voice did not sound squeaky, thank you very much. “Just considering your completely wrong opinion.”
   “Yeah, okay, just be careful with your sighs, huh?” Virgil smirked, then turned his eyes back to the screen. He spoke out of the corner of his mouth, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say that almost sounded fond.”
   Trying his damnedest to ignore the blush on his face, Roman scoffed and put a hand on Virgil’s cheek, playfully pushing his head to the side. Virgil looked at him for a second, eyes shining with mischief, then launched at him, tickling his sides and laughing along with Roman’s giggles and snorts.
   Virgil ceased his attack soon enough which left both of them laying down, Virgil stretching his body across Roman’s like a cat, giggly and breathless. Virgil crossed his arms over Roman’s chest and rested his chin on top of them, which made Roman lean forward to give him a bunny kiss, making him burst into giggles again.
   When Virgil had finally calmed his giggles, he bumped their foreheads together gently. “Hey, Ro?” He asked quietly, voice slightly shaking, as he pressed the sides of their noses together.
   “Yeah, Vee?” Roman said, sounding a little breathless himself.
   “If I do something right now, can you try not to freak out?” 
   “Okay..? Stormcloud, what are you gonna-” His sentence was cut off suddenly by Virgil leaning forward to and pressing his lips, feather-light and quick, to Roman’s.
   Roman froze, still as a stone, for a second, during which Virgil’s eyeshadow shifted to jet black. That little action was all that Roman needed to snap back into reality, as he cupped Virgil’s chin in one of his hands and met Virgil’s lips again.
   They both moved hesitantly, flailing blindly to find boundaries or some set of guidelines. But then the beginning notes of Kiss The Girl played from the TV and Virgil huffed a laugh against Roman’s lips, letting them both relax a bit. Virgil smiled into the kiss as he threaded his fingers through Roman’s hair, trying to get him as close as possible.
   Roman felt like he was dreaming. He had imagined this moment a lot of ways, from a heated make-out in the middle of a debate to a casual goodnight kiss so light that it didn’t even register until later. But he was glad it was happening like this. It felt perfect, the light from the TV screen still glowing from across the room, one of his arms wrapped lazily around Virgil’s waist, the cinnamon-and-coffee taste of Virgil’s lips. He felt like he could live in this moment forever, and he would die happy.
   Unfortunately, they had to break the kiss for air, making Roman pout a little. That pout disappeared almost immediately, though, because he got to see the expression on Virgil’s face. He looked starstruck, like Roman had shown him the sun after living his whole life in darkness. It made Roman’s heart swell, and made him smile the widest he ever had. They stared at each other for a moment, silent save for their breaths, their heartbeats, and the movie still playing. When he had gained enough of his breath back, Roman found himself singing along with the music floating through the air.
   “Sha-la-la-la-la-la, don't be scared, you got the mood prepared, go on and kiss the girl.”
   Virgil snorted and rolled his eyes, though didn’t move away from where he was in Roman’s arms. “Are you calling me Ariel?”
   “Only if I get to be your Eric,” Roman said smoothly, even throwing in a wink at the end for good measure. Virgil blushed and rolled his eyes again, but there was a grin on his face, so Roman figured he wasn’t too upset.
   “Roman?” Virgil asked, looking at him with those gorgeous mismatched eyes, accented perfectly by the almost white eyeshadow underneath them.
   “Yes, Virgil?”
   “Shut up and kiss me,” he said, scooting closer again and pressing his nose against Roman’s like he had before.
   “I thought you’d never ask.”
TAGLIST:
General: 
@definitely-a-living-human @my-friends-art-and-writing @arodynamic-enby @ari-the-writer-enby @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink @asexualtrashcan @the17thmeatball @inku-snas-art @fandoms-are-my-world
Prinxiety:
@nostalgic-shifting @humanbeingiguess @shade-romeo
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wlw-lovestruck-fiction · 4 years ago
Note
“Vivienne x Mc, where Mc gets injured and falls unconscious and later Vivienne taking care?“
Pairing with:
Mc x Vivienne - QoT Mc was really close to an explosion during a heist, causing her to permanently loss her hearing. You can include the other members too because I want to see how will they handle future heist when one of their has been injured, how does Vivienne react? Will she let mc continue or not? And how does mc feel? Does she feel she cannot as much as before lost her hearing?
HEY... how do you think Vivienne would deal with a deaf MC? im deaf myself 😳😳 headcanons work if they're easier!
QOT MC gets caught up in the blast from one of Jett’s explosives, and now has severe burns acrros her face and other parts of her body along with slight deafness. Could I get a fic of Vivienne comforting her, and telling her she’s still beautiful? Thanks!
Warning: Writer’s first time writing a hard of hearing character.
TW: Panic attacks. Mentions of injury. Mentions of scarring.
Introspection-heavy fic.
The explosion was one of Jett’s finest work up to date.
Vivienne could feel it rattle her very bones, even though she was quite a distance away. The building crumbled easily and readily, becoming nothing but a sour-tasting memory. She nodded approvingly, letting out a small sigh in relief. There it went, up in smoke, all the incriminating evidence Benicio had gathered on them. And, as a bonus, most of his fake career.
“Ha! That was amazing!” Jett laughed, his voice bright with happiness, high with adrenaline. The rest of the Poppy soon joined in, albeit in less boisterous chuckles.
Coming down from the building she was in was child’s play. She abandoned Benicio’s unconscious body for the authorities to find, humming to herself as she made her way over to Leon, just barely paying attention to the conversation of the rest of the Poppy.
It doesn’t take long for her to notice that something is wrong. That something is missing.
She balances on top of the balcony she’s on, dread creeping over her body like lead, making her feel sluggish.
“Has anyone heard MC?”
The idle chatter stops. Vivienne can feel the shift in the atmosphere, can practically hear it become tense and chilly.
Amidst the muttered ‘no’ of the rest of the members, Zoe’s voice sounds surprisingly clear, a tinge of panic and worry that makes Vivienne lurch forward, desperate to reach the ground. “I lost her signal. Something must have happened!”
“But Benicio is out cold this time-”
“Nadia backed off, right? She couldn’t have-”
“And there is no way Francesca would-”
“Maybe,” Jett’s voice sounds hesitant, an echo of his usual self. “She got… caught by the explosion.”
Remy scoffs. “There’s no way that could have happened, MC knew the dangers!”
“Keep an eye out for the police, Zoe. We need to look for her,” Nikolai commanded, his voice as cold and hard as steel, immediately cutting through the panicked chatter.
Vivienne lets her teammates handle the distractions to stall the police a bit longer, her mind set only on making sure MC was all right. She hadn’t felt so frightened since everything that happened with Isadora, and she refused to let anything even remotely similar happen again. She couldn’t lose anyone precious to her. She couldn’t. One more person, and her soul would have been shattered beyond repair.
Not to mention, the whole issue with Benicio was her fault in the first place. If MC got hurt… god, if she got hurt…
“Ambulance! Can someone call an ambulance?”
Her head whipped around, eyes wide. There was a man shouting desperately a few meters away, making frantic motions to something behind him. Mouth dry, Vivienne relayed the situation to the rest of the Poppy. Her legs felt like jelly. She wondered if she’d crumble into an unrepairable mess when she got close enough, but no such thing happened. She moved forward as if possessed, dropping to her knees near two bodies. One was a small child, and the other was MC, cradling the child as if she was trying to protect him from the entire world.
They were both unconscious. Vivienne’s eyes trailed MC’s exposed skin, painted an angry red down to its very core, from her left shoulder down to her thigh. Her clothes were ruined, charred beyond recognition, sticking to MC’s body like a second skin. Vivienne’s first instinct is to throw her cape over her, just to cover the burns. Her hands are shaking so bad it proves to be quite the difficult task.
The child MC is holding seems fine, his burns less severe than MC’s, which eases Vivienne’s worry somewhat.
Jett was right. She had been caught up in the explosion.
“I had to pull a lot of favors to erase our trail, but at least the police won’t find us for a while. We can lay low while MC recovers.” Zoe informed them, a few nights later, exhaustion sipping from her like water out of a waterfall. Nikolai is in a similar state, sitting near Zoe by the couch, one hand covering his face and the other gripping his knee so tightly his knuckles are almost white.
“And the boy’s father?”
“He’s been trying to locate MC, but I don’t think we should worry about him. As for the boy, he’s much better than MC. His hearing wasn’t as affected, either. She really saved him…”
“Then again, if it hadn’t been for him, MC wouldn’t be like this in the first place.” Vivienne icily mutters, tightening her hold over her glass of wine. Nikolai and Zoe just give her a glance, too tired to pick a fight with her. “If he hadn’t rushed in recklessly-”
“He was scared, Viv.” Remy says, from somewhere in the kitchen. “He wasn’t thinking clearly.”
Vivienne’s scowl deepens. “Yes, but who runs into danger? You’d think the fire alarm would have gotten him to run the other way.”
“Someone who didn’t know there was going to be an explosion, that’s who.”
The seductress growls, a dark expression over her face, bitter frustration raging inside her like a chemical reaction about to explode. It just doesn’t make sense. Everything that boy had done that day was simply moronic, and MC – the angel she was, putting others before herself as she often did – had suffered dearly for it. The burns would leave scarring, no doubt; they had become angry red lines and spots that Vivienne mapped with a careful touch every time she had to apply the ointment the doctor had recommended. She had to watch how MC flinched at the contact, how she bit back a cry of pain, hiding it behind a shuddering smile and glistering brown eyes.
Vivienne couldn’t stop thinking about her expression. About how everything had changed, suddenly and without warning, all because of a boy. She can’t help but think about what Remy says and seethe in anger at the sheer absurdity of the boy’s actions, but she decides to stay quiet. The last thing the team needs is another fight.
Zoe speaks again after a few moments, voice soft.
“How is Jett?”
“He hasn’t left MC’s side,” Vivienne answers, after taking a deep breath. “His guilt is practically eating him alive.”
Zoe gives the couch a mournful, exhausted look, but gets to her feet nonetheless. “I’ll go check on him.”
No one blames Jett.
Ever since she had regained consciousness, MC’s sole focus had been on him. Vivienne didn’t mind. It felt relieving to walk inside her room and find them close, enjoying life, doing Art Club activities or laughing over some funny meme. Or, well, trying to. Jett’s laugh was muted, worried, tinted with sadness and regret; it was a sound that haunted Vivienne wherever she went, something that mirrored her own conflicted feelings. MC’s laugh was restrained and also wistful and a little distant. Sometimes she grimaced in the middle of it, her happiness crumbling in a burning flash of pain that made Vivienne’s heart clench and drop.
But they were trying. They were doing their best.
They would get through this. They all would.
Changes are inevitable. MC stands through it all like a stubborn rock holding its ground against a current, taking everything in stride. Vivienne had always found the artist fascinating, a fantastic enigma that Vivienne had foolishly thought she had cracked a long time ago.
MC always surprised her. After everything, Vivienne couldn’t help but feel awed by her. True, the first few weeks were hard, but MC had accepted her condition sooner rather than later, while Vivienne still cautiously danced around it, not sure what to think or feel or do.
MC had lost 65% percent of her hearing due to the explosion. Her left ear was slightly better, only at 50%, but the doctor had warned them she would lose more as the years went by. And while Vivienne had once again thrown herself into a bitter spiral of resentment against the boy, that damned boy, MC had pursed her lips with a determined expression and thrown herself into learning sign language and working around everything.
Everyone had agreed early on that MC couldn’t participate in heists anymore. She’d still be their forger, of course, but she’d stay with Zoe when the heist was underway.
“It’d be too dangerous,” MC had admitted, distractedly playing with the hem of her black jacket. She had this solemn look in her eyes, hollow and heavy with resignation, but it wasn’t defeated. It had this quiet intensity to it, like a volcano about to erupt; no one had dared to say anything as she explained. “I can’t even tell where sounds come from anymore, so I wouldn’t react properly to a threat.”
Vivienne couldn’t really wrap her mind around it. MC had described sounds as muted, fuzzy, distant, as if there was a giant wall of glass between her and the world, and on top of it she was underwater. Sounds simply became a cacophony in the background, nothing for MC to really pick apart. It was disorienting, at first, mostly because Vivienne hadn’t really fully processed everything yet.
Sometimes she would turn towards MC with her usual flair and dramas, all but spinning on the chair of her vanity like the typical movie villain, only to find MC engrossed on her work and not aware at all of the dramatic sigh Vivienne had delivered not two seconds ago. That was, perhaps, the biggest change. It didn’t take long for Vivienne to get used to it, no, but there had been something special in calling MC’s name from across the room and watching her reaction unfurl, be it an amused smirk or a heated stare.
MC carried on, not considering her hearing loss a disability at all. It made things different, but not impossible, something Vivienne had irrationally feared in the beginning. She loved MC and everything that entailed, be it scarring or hearing loss or grumpiness or that annoyingly stubborn personality of hers. There was no in-between, no extremes. There weren’t moments where Vivienne had loved her more or less. One day she had woken up to realize she had fallen hopelessly in love and she had never quite managed to get back up after that.
So these changes? Vivienne would accept them. Welcome them. No matter what.
The hearing aids helped. A bit.
MC had put them on, frowned for a second, and then beamed at Vivienne saying: “Oh, I can tell your voice apart from all the sounds now!” And that was it. No magically being able to hear everything again, no magically being able to pick apart the words. There was just a vague tone piercing a muted world, an anchor making lip-reading easier, but nothing else. Zoe had looked. Oh, how had she looked, but that was it. Everyone had accepted that. MC was just happy to her their voices again, however fuzzy they were.
Now, Vivienne could actually come sashaying into the room and call out to MC, and MC would look up and search for her – she still had a hard time telling where the sounds came from – and then roll her eyes with a fond smile at her girlfriend’s antics.
Something Vivienne had discovered about hard of hearing people: they listened. No, really. Somebody else would be distracted by something that happened around them, or would look at their phone or watch or hands or anything else before rejoining the conversation. Small things, really. MC didn’t do those anymore. Her attention was solely focused on whoever was speaking, watching their lips, interpreting their words. Or watching the signs, the body language, everything she could do to figure out what was going on and answer accordingly.
It was only at night that MC confided how difficult and exhausting and frustrating lip-reading was. The Poppy made an effort to sign, they had all gotten quite good at SSE, but sometimes they would go out and encounter somebody that didn’t know how to sign or somebody that wasn’t aware of what had happened to MC. It was all sort of situations, but MC took in stride.
“Baby?” MC’s drowsy voice cut through Vivienne’s thoughts. The pronunciation was a bit off, but charmingly so. MC had been horrified when Zoe commented on it, trying to correct it as soon as possible, but privately Vivienne didn’t really see why she worried so much over it. Her voice was beautiful no matter what. Or maybe Vivienne was just far too whipped. Hm.
She smiled against MC’s skin, feeling the heat of it call out to her like a siren’s song. She shifted a bit, so she could rest her head over MC’s chest, snuggling under the covers. It was a cold night, after all.
“Yes?” She mumbled, internally screaming in joy over the pet name. The vibration of her voice was all MC needed to know she was awake.
“I don’t think I’m up for seeing Jace tomorrow. Think we could reschedule?”
Vivienne hummed, toying with the thought. “I think so.” She finally drew the words on MC’s skin. Her fingers slid over the charred, dry zone that had been burned and she frowned a little, wondering if she should apply more ointment in the morning.
“Great.” MC said, softly. “And… we could… maybe we could watch a movie? There’s a new one that just began airing – I’ll ask Zoe for a subtitled version tomorrow.”
“Lovely.” Vivienne drew back.
“I love you.”
The little heart that was the seductress’ reply tingled in MC’s skin like invisible ink, pure and happy and warm like the first few rays of the sun, something that would linger for many days to come.
In the morning, as she had been doing this past month, the first thing she did when she woke up was straddle MC under her.
MC blinked owlishly, staring at her with a soft smile. She let Vivienne move over her, sighing contently at the soft touches from her lover. Vivienne made sure to stay in sight, so MC could see her lips.
With all that done, Vivienne began her worship.
Her hand cupped MC’s cheek, tracing the cheekbone down to the soft angle of her jaw, adoring. Long fingers then glided over her throat, down, down so she could move over her collarbones, one hand to the right, one to the left.
One hand slid over smooth, soft silk, while the other traveled against rough and dry edges carefully. MC’s eyes shifted at that, always hesitant over the marred skin, and Vivienne leaned down to place a kiss just above where the burns had been, as reverently as an astronaut would kiss the ground after months away from the Earth. She hovered there for a few seconds while her hand moved from MC’s shoulder to her side, finally coming to rest over her hip.
“You are beautiful.” She mouthed, leaning back. MC’s eyes flickered to her lips, catching the words, her smile stretching just a little bit more.
Vivienne continued, leaving a trail of kisses over that side, as she often did.
“These tell a story,” she said, and MC listened, brows knitted in concentration. “Of a brave woman that was too caring, and of a silly boy.”
MC starts to shake her head, aware of Vivienne’s resentment, but Vivienne is quick to place a finger over her lips to shush her.
“A silly boy,” she repeated, and for once her voice carried no venom. “That would have had a much difficult condition had that brave woman not intervened. These scars tell a story… and its outcome, filled with obstacles and changes and that one stubborn woman in the center of it all. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone more determined in my entire life. But here you are, MC, here you are…”
She shudders with delight, her smile widening even more. One of her hand comes up to rest over Vivienne’s heart, to feel the vibrations of her voice.
“A warrior, an angel. You are the sun my thoughts spin around, always, forever. You came into my life and gave me a reason to become the woman I am today. You are always so optimistic, so breathtakingly beautiful, with you I-” Vivienne cut herself off, remembering to breathe, to pace herself. MC gave her a grateful nod, her expression soft with affection. “With you I feel like I might soar. You’ve taught me so much. You’ve taught me how to be accepting. To accept mistakes. To not run from them. And now, you’ve taught me the importance of not giving up. I admire you, you know?”
Vivienne looked at the scars again.
“The story these tell… It’s awe-inspiring. I’ll look at them every morning and remember how strong you are. Beautiful isn’t perfect skin and perfect hearing. It isn’t daring heists and life on the edge. Beautiful is you, are you are now.”
The kiss they share is gentle, loving, pure.
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lunammoon · 4 years ago
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The Problem With Hetalia (As told by someone who actually in the fandom until like, 2016)
I'm hoping this post will explain to people who are still into Hetalia why a lot of people have an issue with from the perspective of someone who knows a lot about the show. 
TL;DR: By making the WW2 axis powers come across as a lovable idiot, his serious friend, and the stoic voice of reason, it downplays the serious nature of what the Axis did and seeing as the real-life Axis harmed real-life people, many people have a justifiable huge issue with this. 
I will go more into depth about this under the cut.
A lot of people are talking about how Hetalia is coming back after 5 years and a lot of people are rightfully annoyed at the show. But what I'm seeing is that a lot of the people who are upset are people who clearly haven't watched the show and therefore are unable to explain to people who have watched it why it’s bad. The most that you hear is:
"it glorifies the Axis Powers" (which isn't 100% accurate although the assessment that they are portrayed in a way that makes them seem less bad is accurate) 
"Hetalia Cosplayers wore Nazi uniforms in front of a Holocaust memorial" (which I'd say is more of an issue with fans than the show). 
That is not to say that there isn't an issue with the show, because there really is. But these observations are unlikely to mean much to someone who watches Hetalia. So, in this thread, I'm going to explain why Hetalia is Problematic with the added context perspective of someone who was into the show during most of middle school and until Freshman year of high school. 
I knew the human names, used to jam to "Always With You" and "Pub and Go" and “It’ll Settle Itself Somehow” and “Light my Heart” and “Absolute British Gentleman” and “Mein Gott” and “World Rondo” and “Excuse Me, I’m Sorry” and so, so many more. 
I lost my shit with everyone else when the season 6 ep dropped and Italy danced like he was possessed by a demon. When I hear “ACE” family, I don’t think of Youtubers. I actually took a side on the FruUK vs UsUk debate and if you look in my archive, you can probably find some Hetalia posts that I’m too lazy to delete.
The point here being, I’ve actually seen the show so I know what I’m talking about. This isn’t an outsiders perspective is what I’m saying.
So, let’s get right into it. While technically only seasons 1-2 are officially actually called "Axis Powers" (Seasons 3-4 are called "World Series" Season 5 is "Beautiful World" and Season 6 is called "World Twinkle") WW2 and things relating to the Axis Powers are an important part of every season and appear prominently.
While Hetalia has covered many things from all different time periods, the two most common periods covered are the modern-day and of course, the second World War. The show is Japanese and (I assume) because Japan was on the Axis side, these portions focus more on the Axis Powers of Italy, Japan, and Germany. The Allies do come into play. And while the Allies aren't directly like, evil, which would've been FAR WORSE they've got a kind of Team Rocket-esque thing going on? They're not exactly mustache-twirling villains but they're clear antagonists. Make no mistakes.
I think the deserted Island arc is the best example of the problems many people have with the show.
Take for example, that beach fight. If you've watched Hetalia, you'll know the one I'm talking about. The one that they reused like, 50 times. The Allies are clearly shown as the antagonists/aggressors while the Axis are literally just vibing on a (kinda) deserted island and defending themselves. 
Now, if this was three dudes chilling on the beach and they suddenly got attacked by another five dudes also on the beach who they then fought off until the five attackers ran away that’s be one thing.
The issue is that this is supposed to be a representation of WW2. It's basically saying "oh, Nazi Germany, Imperial Japan, and Fascist Italy were literally just vibing, not bothering anyone when suddenly, the Allies attacked for no reason. Luckily, they (the Allies) retreated because the Allies are Cowardly but they keep coming back and bothering them,". Do you see the issue there? Most of the beach arc seems to be the writer forgetting that these are supposed to be Nations, not a random Italian dude, a German dude, and a Japanese dude.
“Oh, but they don’t glorify Nazi Germany. They don’t really even talk about what Germany was doing! Look at this pic of Germany in a lab coat holding a dandelion :)“
That’s not the defense that you think it is and it’s actually a main part of the issue that I, and many other people have with Hetalia.
I think the scene where this issue is the most obvious is the one where they are gathering around a campfire and talking and one of them comes up with the name "the Axis". The whole scene has the same energy characters in a moe anime coming up with a band name.
They’re sitting on a beach at night. I think there might’ve been a campfire, the stars are out, and the three of them talk about their dream of making a world that revolved around them. One of them comes up with the name “the axis” and then they all talk about how you would translate "axis" in their language. It’s all very found family-esque. The way the scene is framed is to encourage you to route for them to reach their goal. It’s the same kind of tone you’d see in a shoujo with a girl telling her friends about how she wants to win the singing competition no matter what or in Sword Art Online when Kirito talks about saving Asuna.
The issue is that their goal isn’t to win some competition or to save someone they care about. It’s to spread facism, imperialism, and bring about genocide.
There of course don’t SAY that that’s their goal, and outside of a one off line in the English dub that’s been since censored, they don’t really bring up what Germany was up to during WW2 vis-a-vie the Holocaust and if they did bring it up, I either wasn’t paying attention, it was in the manga, or it was in one of Germany’s character songs.
The issue is that during WW2 the show seems to at best forget and at worst, gloss over it that the main trio that they're focusing on are the villains. And not like, fantasy villains. Actual real-life villains that hurt real people in the real world. Imagine if instead of Ludwig Beilschmidt and Feliciano Vargas, it was Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini. 
Are you seeing the problem yet?
I get why people like to watch the show. Ignoring the WW2 bits, it’s actually pretty good. I, as an American, really like Alfred F. Jones and the way he’s portrayed.
If Hetalia had stuck to non-WW2 related things such as that episode where the nations all talk about how horror movies differ in their nations, or they talked about their Christmas traditions. Or the ones where America and Japan are roommates. Or when they showed that time when America airdropped XL condoms on Russia labeling them as "small" for intimidation reasons. Or that series of episodes where they talked about Micronations. Or that time they all had to come together to fight aliens. Or the bit where they talked about the WW1 Christmas Armistice. Then it would be fine.
The issue is that they didn’t.
If they kept WW2 stuff for SOME reason. They had two options. 
Make the axis as proper villains
 Be explicit in showing that the nations will doesn't reflect what their leader wants. 
The first option wouldn’t be ideal if they wanted to cover any time period other than World War 2. The axis would be too unlikable and I doubt that an anime where Japan is the villain would appeal much to Japanese audiences.
But what about the second option. Have a bit where Ludwig is passing out White Rose pamphlets or smuggling people to safety.
Have Kiku (Japan for people who don’t watch Hetalia) purposefully looking the other way as Sugihara writes visas to get people to safety and covering for him against his boss. SOMETHING!
But instead of doing either of those, they took the bad third option which was, their choice to instead make the axis seem like likable individuals who are a group of three good friends who work together will in contrast with the “bumbling Allies” who are barely cohesive and constantly fight and argue. At best, makes it seem like both sides had a point and at worst, makes it seem like the Axis was a better than the Allies.
All of this is to say that liking Hetalia does not make you inherently a bad person, but you need to be more critical of what you watch and understand that there is a reason that some people have a genuine issue with it and they have a very good reason for that. You can still watch it the show, but do keep this information in the back of your brain as you do
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otterskin · 3 years ago
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I didn't like the LOKI show, no matter how hard I try, and it's messing with me.
My mother died at the end of December. A lot of other bad things happened as well, like the severe brain injury of my father.
I didn't cry. There was so much to do. I did it. And even then, when there was nothing left to do, I didn't cry.
I found distractions.
Today I went to see the Green Knight after a tough week at a new job that had me leave my father in another province even though he still needs help. I was trying to get back to the life I'd dropped.
I loved the Green Knight. The Arthurian Legends are as dear to me as Norse Mythology, and my copy of them had the Green Knight on the cover. The film was truly excellent, evoking the feel of the story whole still doing something unique and very A24. I cried at one point, like I did when watching the first THOR, because of how much it meant to see something I'd loved since the very first years of my existence finally make it to the big screen and be...right. It's own thing, it's own artistic product, but right.
Then I opened a tab in a browser and saw I had some messages on a website I comment on. It was just some minor criticism of the LOKI show I'd posted beneath an article and how it handled certain things.
I was downvoted. Berated. Hated. Lumped in the ad hominem twitter users who attacked the director and writer (I'd never, ever!) Told I was biphobic because I wanted to see more of a queer lens (I even addressed how difficult it is for bi people in queer cinema and society in general in my criticisms of the romance, but even that wasn't good enough - just disliking it was 'bad'.) I was told I just wanted my 'fanfic' made (I never made any laundrylist of plot points I demanded). I was accused of being a begrudged shipper (ha! If anything I'm an anti-shipper). I was told that I should love the show, it was awesome, and I was bad for not thinking so.
And I started to cry.
I don't cry. Only at movies. Not at real life. I didn't cry at my grandparents's funerals, I didn't cry when I was left with the body of my mother in the hospital room and my brother cried on my shoulder. I didn't cry when working through my dad's severe new disabilities as I realized how much he had lost. I didn't cry while realizing how messy my parents' finances were. I didn't cry when my mother's friends called me in the middle of the night and cried into the phone. I didn't cry when saying goodbye to my dog and going back to a rundown apartment with a terrible smell so I could go to work in a dark room for hours at a time.
But now I'm crying and writing this.
I've realized why. During everything, I looked forward to the LOKI show. The first THOR is deeply nostalgic to me and I watched it often in my first year of Uni when I was away from home. It tied in thematically to what I was going for. Thor 2 came out before I went on exchange, and while I disliked it overall, talking about it was a welcome distraction from my anxieties. Thor 3 was nerve-wracking, but it also came out during my first major job which I was struggling with, and I saw it so many times in theatres...it was such a huge comfort.
Looking forward to LOKI wasn't just a distraction. It was like a promise. A promise that I'd make it till then and see it and maybe it'd give me some comfort.
That's on me. That's a personal thing. It's an unreasonable expectation.
But I needed it, all the same.
Then it came out.
I tried. I really tried to like it, to forgive it, but the problems are things I've criticized for too long in so many other things. I always try to be respectful about, I never go ad hominem and attack the creators, only critique their work and I always mentioned what I liked but...
I didn't like it.
I have no urge to rewatch it.
And the Green Knight...the Green Knight was everything I wanted and needed it to be. It didn't let me down, though I've been anticipating it about as long as the LOKI show. They're very different, obviously, but in my heart they share the same compartment.
And after a very trying day...I realized how badly I needed to rewatch a Loki show I liked. But I can't even enjoy THOR or Thor:Ragnarok anymore. It's like everything I did like has been poisoned.
This thing that got me through immense pain is causing me pain. I don't want to be toxic. I'm sure it's in me. I try so hard not to wallow in disappointment, but to not even be allowed to talk about my problems without being lumped in with abusive online monsters...
I can't do it. I just can't.
This is supposed to be an escape, not another trial.
I needed the LOKI show to be good, so I could come out of the dark into the light, or at least walk through the night with a lantern ahead of me. And instead it was just more darkness, and it's not even entirely its own fault. It's the online discourse. It's the uncalled for harassment of Herron and Waldron. It's the taunting jabs at people who didn't have a good time as if we're all jerks. It's having people roll their eyes when you point out things that made you uncomfortable in the story, it's feeling slightly gaslit when you find something gross that the story intended to be gross and then being told it's not gross, actually.
I'm sorry. I don't want to cause pain. I just...
I needed it to be good. And unlike Thor 3, which delivered me respite in a dark time...it let me down. Worse, it's hurt me.
I said I don't cry, only at the movies. Something about them lets me cry in a way nothing else does. I can't cry at a funeral, but I can cry in a movie theatre at the drop of a hat. It's a release valve, a way for me to process things.
I think I was waiting for LOKI to give me permission to cry. To give me something that could release this pain in me. And instead, it just gave me more.
I never should have given it that power. I didn't want to. But I had to, to get through this.
I'm putting away the few THOR pieces of tat I have. I feel foolish. I always knew it was a capitalist piece of art, chucked from creator to creator with no creative shepherd, which in itself was stressful.
The fandom is no sanctuary for me either, since I'm primarily interested in the family dynamics and I'm sick of 'Odin is an ABUSIVE MONSTER' stories or even unrelated fics and posts just dropping in hate for him that's not at all canon but seems to be very popular to the point where people think it is. Especially since I often read these stories when I need to think of home and my father. Or, most pleasantly of all, when I get called an abuser or abuser-enabler because I say I like Odin as a character. I also can't really bear to deal with anything to do with Sylvie, whom I had high hopes for as someone who wants more female tricksters, but instead I got this...this Mary Sue that's very hard to criticize without being yelled at. I swear I'm coming at her writing as a feminist and I don't hate anyone, I don't, I just...sigh. She's just personally frustrating to me and not being able to discuss it without being called names sucks.
Not to mention I'm asexual, and I always struggle with romance in media being pushed as the 'ultimate relationship more important than any other'. Part of the reason I liked THOR so much was that romance was not the main feature of THOR and definitely not THOR 3 (while my disliked Dark World was all about it, and so is LOKI). And when I criticize the romance, I get called a prude (guilty, I guess), a troll, or, my favourite, just 'a hater'.
I don't want to hate. Who wants that poison in their veins? I'm here because the Thor series HELPED me because I LOVED it. And now I look at the things I used to love and I...don't, anymore.
So much is asked of me right now. I can't willingly invite this painful thing to sit on my chest as well, especially since the world is already shoving it into my face without my doing anything, in ads, in news, in everything.
I suppose that's why I've leaned even more into Odin lately. He was untouched by the LOKI series (though not the Simpson special, which worries me). He's a trickster, he's queer, he's nuanced, he's 'misunderstood' (that old cliche, but he's misunderstood and misrepresented by the people always yelling about how this or that character is misunderstood, which amuses me, except when it gets to me), and he's in many ways free to make my own.
I still have some stuff I'm going to publish that's practically finished. Finnesang has a lot more written for it but needs some major sit-down time for re-writes and edits. Lokabrenna is practically done, just needs tweaks and Beta. I'll be here a little longer.
But I think I'm going to have to step back for now and put my passions into other things.
I will be back. After all, after Thor 2 came Thor 3. Maybe Love and Thunder will right the ship and Thor can still be awesome, and maybe eventually a creative I love will come to work on the franchise. Really, that's the key for me - I loved Branagh before THOR, and loved Waititi before Thor, and disliked Waldron's work (though I gave him every benefit of the doubt and hoped and prayed to be wrong - sadly, it was what I expected.)
But...if LOKI season 2 is more of this, more romantic tropes I hate and Loki being an afterthought in his own show and his family being devalued for new characters...I can't do it. I can't watch something I used to love just throw that all away for something I dislike.
My tears are finally drying. I wrote a lot of this while the screen was blurry, so I hope there's no grammar or typo too embarrasing. I'm not sure I have the strength to re-read it. Sorry for the rant. It helped me feel better.
Thank you all. I hope I feel differently someday.
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6rookie-writer0110 · 4 years ago
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I don't know. Might further the plot.?
Male Reader x Avengers Cast
Request- Do you think you could make a Avengers cast X Male reader & his talking about his past & saying his been in juvenile detention & jail cause he had a rough childhood & his friend (oc) always helped him and stayed by his side & helped him get into drama class & he was good at it & now his new movie is coming out & it's about helping his character with his depression, suicidal thoughts & he meets his love interest who becomes his girlfriend in real life & her character helps him through depression
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Your childhood was rough because your father would hit you physically and mentally abuse you. Your mother would do the same, also she would call you horrible names. Your father is known for selling drugs and always gambling. Your mother is a drunk and always high on drugs. You barely went to school and if you did you would cause problems.
You have always been on a rough path, your rap sheet is long as the train tracks. You didn't go to school often because you were in juvenile detention, many people gave up on you. When your turned eighteenth, you were in and out of jail. Since your parents didn't care for you they didn't pay for your bail. The longest sentence you did in prison was eight years.
After getting out of prison, you packed what you had left, took the van, and stole from your parents. You stole your dad’s pot to make quick cash.
As days went on you slept in your van. You would sell pot, with that money you would buy food and fill up the van. It's the middle of the night and you are sleeping, your best friend John Krasinski, banged on the van. You opened the door and you tackled him to the ground.
”Dude it's me!!!” John yelled.
You were about to punch him.
”What the fuck!?” You yelled.
You get off him and he gets off the ground.
”You almost gave a heart attack!!” You yelled.
It's freezing because it's November.
”I heard what happened. I came to get you and tell you to move in with me” John said.
You and John Krasinski have been friends for a long time. You trust him and only him. He has been there for you many times and never left your side.
”I don't know men. I can't even pay rent on time and I won't get a job from nine to five” You said.
”Just move in before you freeze to death,” John said.
”Fine,” You said.
-----
The next day, you start to help John run his lines. He is trying out for a role on a show called the office. You always help him run his lines, even in high school when he tried to the school play. He told you to try out for the school play but you said no.
”Y/N, you should really get into acting. You are really good and you should think about being an actor” John said.
”Don’t lie to me,” You said.
”I’m serious. With more training then you will become a better actor. I think you should take a shot at it. Now you are not doing anything with your life, take a chance” John said.
You have always been into acting but never took it seriously. You start to think and you are unsure what he said.
”I will think about it,” You said.
”Okay. Give me a ride?” John said.
”Yeah sure,” You said.
John goes to acting classes also he pays for you to go. At first, you hesitated to go but you didn't have money to pay for the classes. But you promised him that you will pay him back later on.
✧ ✯ ✧ ✫
John has been helping you become a better actor. But he can't help all the time because he has his own life. You get one role for acting but it was to be an extra, you took it paid $200.
You tried out for a role to start in an Iron man movie, it was for a small role but you didn't get it. And you can't afford to do headshots.
”What’s your name?” He asked.
”Y/N... I really like your movies, ” You said.
”I saw your audition. I see you have potential but you need acting lessons” Robert said.
”I can't afford it. Most times, I sleep in my van and doing random jobs” You said.
You watched every single movie that Robert Downey Jr. Did.
”I will help you and I will be your mentor,” Robert said.
”No way!!” You sad very loud.
You can't stop smiling and he is serious. You are still speechless and can't stop smiling. Later, you told John about it and he is happy for you. Robert will let you live with him but you told him, to repay him back you will do chores around the house.
-----
You are happy that you get to sleep in a new bed. Every day he gives you lessons for acting. He tells how to bring the characters to life and cry on cue. You always run lines with him and he tells you what you do wrong.
” Besides my best friend, you are the only one who ever believed in me,” You said.
He hugged you and you did cry a little bit, he starts to rub your back.
”It’s okay. Let it all out. You are a good person, you are the only one that has control for your future” Robert said.
You wipe the tears away.
”That means a lot,” You said with a small smile.
✧ ✯ ✧ ✫
You have been getting small roles on tv shows and some indie movies. You always give it your all and you keep improving in each role you get.
You got your big break to appear in The Avengers in the first movie. You got the role of Marcus "Marc" Milton aka Hyperion.
Hyperion possesses great physical strength. Between 75 and 100 tons. Marcus Milton was able to hold two piles of the earth apart to prevent them from colliding with each other for a period of time, confront the Hulk blow-for-blow until the Hulk reverted back to human form. He also does not require air, food, or water to survive as long as his body absorbs Solar energy. Also, he is a Trucker, adventurer, vigilante, former teacher.
---
But you didn't have a role in Avengers: Age of Ultron. For the first movie, you invited John to the movie premiere.
With the cast, you get along with them really well. Sometimes play pranks each other, make each other laugh during sets, and more. You and Robert still have a good relationship, he is still your mentor. John always supports you in any role you get. During an interview, you said you hope gets a role in a Marvel movie.
✧ ✯ ✧ ✫
You decided to take a chance to make your own movie. It took a while for your script to be completed. You meet Elizabeth Olsen for the first time and she got the lead role. She will play your love interest in the movie.
While shooting the movie during sets and offset, you and Elizabeth would spend time together. She does invite you to her house and you always yes. Always making each other laugh and you like to stare at her green eyes.
”You should help me cook more often,” Elizabeth said.
You laughed.
”Only to help you. My parents never taught me how to cook or taught me anything positive” You said.
”You still don't talk to your parents?” Elizabeth asked.
”No. They did contact me two months ago, pretending they care about me. They only called because I am famous. I don't want to give them a second chance, they made my childhood a living hell” You said.
She hugged you and it caught you off guard, but you did hug her back. Later, you and Elizabeth eat dinner outside in the backyard and kept talking. Later, she taught you how to make smores and you love it.
-----
You and Elizabeth go to the beach because it's very hot in California. You start to help put sunblock on Elizabeth’s back and the paparazzi take pictures of everything.
You told her you don't know how to swim, she decided to teach you how to swim. She teaches you the basics and how to breathe underwater. You come out of the water and you start to cough. She starts to pat your back.
”Did you swallow the water?” Elizabeth asked.
You nod and coughed again.
”Y-yeah. It's hard to breathe underwater” You sad.
”It’s not and I will keep teaching you,” Elizabeth said.
Again she teaches you how to breathe underwater. The paparazzi take pictures of when she kissed you.
----
Working on a movie that is dark, you and Elizabeth try to make each other laugh. She would take pictures with you and post it on her Instagram account. You are sitting down on your chair and you are using your phone. She takes a picture of you and writes something.
So cute when he is focused 😍
✧ ✯ ✧ ✫
You did appear in the other movies Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame. Now you go on promo tours with the cast, it's always fun with them. You did talk about your character Hyperion.
”i will appear in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and Loki. But I won't say what will happen for now” You said.
”Can you tell us about your new movie?” He asked.
You nod.
”My character has depression and he is suicidal. He meets his love interest who becomes his girlfriend, who is played by, Elizabeth Olsen and her character helps him through everything. It's hard for him to believe that anyone truly cares for him and she proves that she does care for him. Robert also worked on the movie has a co-writer and producer” You said.
”Is everyone invited to the movie premiere?” He asked.
”Of course not. I don't get along with them, they are such divas and horrible to work with” You joked.
Everyone starts to laugh.
”Why are you laughing? It's true” You said.
”I hate Y/N, I'm so happy I won't see him again. And I won't go to his movie premiere” Scarlett Johansson joked.
”I agree with her” Chris Evans joked.
”You have to tell us. Are you really Elizabeth Olsen’s boyfriend?” He asked.
”I knew you two were going to end up dating,” Jeremy said.
”Is it true?” He asked.
”Yeah-”
”How did you even ask her to be your girlfriend?” Mark asked.
”She lost a bet in Uno, duh. How else I would be her boyfriend” and you are serious about it.
That didn't happen.
----
You are finally home and Elizabeth is staying the night over. You do enjoy cooking together with her. You and Elizabeth watch the new movie Scoob while eating dinner.
”I saw the interview,” Elizabeth said.
”What do you think?” You asked.
She laughed and drinks her wine.
”Can't believe I lost in Uno and we are stuck together” Elizabeth teased.
You and Elizabeth laughed.
”You could have won if cheated but it's not my fault you lost” You winked.
”You are such a doofus” Elizabeth laughed.
You laughed too. Elizabeth again stole a hoodie from you. It's cold and she loves wearing your hoodies, you like how she looks in it so you don't say anything about it.
✧ ✯ ✧ ✫
Since you said Elizabeth lost in Uno, when she does interviews they ask her about it. She goes along with it.
The night of the movie premiere, Robert and the others arrived to support you. Everyone posed for the cameras, you are not serious because you are making everyone laugh.
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meetmeatthecoda · 3 years ago
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I absolutely ♥️ADORE♥️ Scripted and would love to read your director’s commentary for it!
Oh, anon!! 😍 I'm SO THRILLED that you loved Scripted so much, that makes me so happy!! 🥰 Especially that you loved it enough to want to read my "director's commentary" (that phrase makes me laugh, you'd think I created a feature length film all by myself 🤣), so I think I'll skim through the fic - it's been a while since I re-read it - & make a bullet-point list of any special BTS info I can think of 😊 Anddd I'll also put it under a read more cause you know me, I never use one word when one hundred will do 😂
So, the fic itself was inspired by the ending of 5.08 where Liz wakes from her coma to Red reading to her in an armchair as he had been for the past 10 months, it's fine, I'm fine but she still has a ventilator in so she can't talk & instead has to write "how long?" on a piece of paper & her handwriting is super shake-y bc her muscles are so weak (I think Red even helps her hold the pen? It's clearly been a while since I re-watched the ep whoops but ugh, be still my heart.) For some reason, I just latched onto the idea of a mute Liz, really suffering with the implications of everything she went through (since her recovery was so glossed over in the show boo) & Red 1000% being there for her. Mostly, I just wanted to dive into the dynamic of Liz letting Red care for her the way he's always wanted to (without Tom & Agnes btw) to the point where their relationship is unhealthy in its reliance, but neither can see it bc Liz is blocking things out (& unknowingly falling in love with him) & Red is just so thrilled to be able to love & care for her (while already deeply in love with her obvi). So yeah, that was the kind of dynamic & closeness I wanted to explore between them & it was... really fun 😊
The idea of the coma providing the perspective Liz needed to see that Red has always had her best interests at heart & clearly loves her (in addition to the fact that he never left her side or gave up during those 10 months lol peak romance tbh) seemed very organic & logical to me.
I liked the idea of Red & Liz playing board games as a way to pass the time & get to know each other better. It's the kind of casual interaction we were never gifted with in the show & I think they're both competitive in the right circumstances, even if its playfully so.
I liked the idea of Liz being urged to learn ASL, as I'm deaf in one ear & would dearly love to learn it at some point.
The detail of Red sleeping on a cot close enough to Liz's hospital bed that they can hold hands in their sleep was a total guilty pleasure addition & I'm not sorry.
I loved the scene in the beginning where Red is talking to Dembe on the phone in the hallway & Liz is practicing her letters. She's purely doing it so Red doesn't worry & I loved the idea of her being apathetic to everything except Red's concerns, plus I added in the parenthetical of (Red sometimes squints at her k's.) bc I thought it represented that well, but also bc it was just cute af. I also added the little detail of him waving at her through the window at the last minute bc I thought the scene needed something else & once I pictured that, it was too adorable to leave out.
Red handling all the details of Liz's care & transportation without asking (bc he instinctively knew that's what Liz wanted) only to turn around & panic about excluding her seemed like a very RED thing to do & I like how it emphasizes his well-meaning intentions, respect for her preferences, & desire to see her happy, even if she did actually want to leave him lol as if.
I liked the visual of Liz stumbling into Red's arms as she stands from her hospital bed to leave with him (sets a precedent for later) & I also loved the visual of a pen in her ponytail & of course Red using it to flirt a little bc come on.
I remember struggling to write the car ride transition to the lake house. I usually get ideas & visions for specific scenes, moments, or bits of dialogue, so those kind of transition moments are hard for me sometimes. But I liked that I settled on Red helping to ground Liz through touch (again, sets a precedent for later).
Red & Liz playing hangman in the car with Red using the word "fedora" & drawing a suited hangman made me giggle.
I can see the lake house very clearly in my mind, complete with the willow tree, bench, & tiny house (included bc I desperately want a tiny house in real life) & I really enjoyed describing the interior & imagining the joy Red would get out of decorating it with Liz in mind.
Their first night in the house where Liz has her nightmare & Red comforts her - that was a scene I had in mind very early on & I love how it turned out, especially with Liz mouthing "stay with me" into Red's neck, that part gave me All The Feels™.
The "morning after" scene where Liz realizes on some level that she's too dependent on Red is an important moment in the fic & the off-hand detail that at least "she's not going around murdering people & calling it therapy" was a bit of shade to Ruin (which I don't think I ever saw bc I was kind of appalled with the idea lol) I think I posted Scripted after Ruin aired... if not, I guess I'm psychic?? LOL
The breakfast scene - & the fact that Red is preparing every breakfast food known to man bc he's nervous too - is near & dear to my heart. I think that's a pretty pivotal scene since they kind of reach an unspoken agreement & peace &... "things settle after that first breakfast."
I liked the teeny little parenthetical section that comes next as well, which acts as a sort of middle point for the fic.
The next large chunk of the fic was pure indulgence for me. I LOVED writing about all the different things they would do together when it was just the two of them, it was basically a collection of Lizzington headcanons & that's how I sketched them out LOL Here's some notes on them:
I came up with the jigsaw puzzle headcanon (that Liz is bored by them bc they're easy for her bc she's a trained psychologist & easily sees patterns in things) late in the editing process but loved it so much that I included it.
Liz's sandwich preference is actually mine LOL
The Monopoly banter was fun af to write bc I love that game.
The love notes Liz leaves around the house for Red is still an all-time favorite headcanon of mine.
I loved the idea of Red reading to Liz in a foreign language, holding the book only for looks, but not actually reading from it at all & instead professing his love for her. I think I've even used that headcanon in another fic LOL
Their movie nights were also something I was dying to include, especially since they include snacks & cuddles.
Their co-sleeping habits were also something I wanted to include & Liz's newly tactile nature is both a symptom of her dependence on Red & also a guilty pleasure thing for me bc we all wanted more of Red & Liz touching on screen, plus I felt obligated to explain through Red that it wasn't sexual in nature (though if I ever get around to writing part 2, that will change 😉)
Dembe being the one to observe & interfere in their situation was an early scene I imagined as well, that was always going to be the climax of the fic (or at least part 1). I so enjoyed writing about Red & Liz's relationship through his eyes bc he just loves them both & only wants to help them.
Another pivotal scene I imagined early on was Liz having a panic attack with Dembe when she discovers Red has left & that was super engaging to write, as well as the reunion between them which... I pretty much wrote the whole fic with the goal of getting to that lovely angst LOL
Red's resolve to finally urge Liz to speak was heart-breaking to write (so naturally I loved it lol what's wrong with me) & in particular the detail of them eating fruit for lunch before he broaches the topic with her & the parenthetical about it being "a sign from the cosmos that they are meant to be together just because they don't eat each other's favorite fruit" made my heart happy even tho it's stupid LOL & when Red asks her if she would ever try to speak again & she responds with a simple written "Why?" that was a huge moment that I loved the angst of, of course. As well as the absolutely gutting: "Lizzie, I miss your voice."
I liked that Liz needs some time to think & accept everything Red forces her to realize at the end, that was super important to me in the resolution of the fic/part 1 & I tried really hard to include both their mentalities there at the end.
The fact that Red hasn't had a drink since he started caring for Liz also made my shipping heart happy.
And - lastly - the fact that the only thing Liz actually says in the whole fic is Red's name? Yeah 🥲🥲🥲
Welp, there you go, anon, I'm not sure if that was interesting to you at all, but I certainly hope so!! I know that was a lot but... it's a long fic, my longest ever, so I figure it's warranted, right?? 😂 Anyway, thank you so much, both for the compliment of loving Scripted AND for wanting to read more about it, anon, you are so sweet!! 🥰 I hope you enjoyed this & much, much love to you, my friend!! ❤️
Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut
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marveling-chrisevans · 5 years ago
Text
Quarantine || Chris Evans x Reader
Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader / Chris Evans x You
Warnings:  Smut and a little cute fluffy - also could be triggering for current situations.. also kinda long 
Words Count: 2045
Summary: Chris quarantine alone so is  his neighbor (y/n) too. So they talk all day across the balcony because of the distancing, and the sexual tension becomes to much and Chris jumps the railing and they screw right then
Tag-List: @patzammit​​​​ @torntaltos​​​​ @smoothdogsgirl​​​​    (tag list is also open so if you want to be tagged let me know, you can reply to this or send an ask)
A/N: Sometimes smut is hard to write. So there is that before you read this. I try my best with it, not the actual best writer of smut but ill work on it -- sorry it took a few days to post I had to one finish it and its almost finals so ive been a bit distracted 
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Living so far from your family during this time was hard when you couldn’t even walk the streets. You knew the man next door to you though passing but you had never actually sat down and talked to him. One week into being alone you saw him sitting outside reading a book, so you open your sliding glass door and walked over to the edge and lean over to read the title “so is it any good?” You wondered with a slight smile on your face looking at him. He closed his book and looked over at you “yeah its pretty good, fancy seeing you out here” he teased back “feeling lonely?” He wondered as he leaned forward in the chair he was sitting “i guess this whole being stuck inside and not being able to do anything is really putting a damper on my social life I'm left talking to you” You teased back “I'm y/n” you introduced yourself incase you never have “Chris, you know we have lived next door to each other for like a year now and never done that..” He smiled back at you. “you should be more friendly” 
“Says the guy who always looks like he is running late or the world is going to end” your laugh slightly “seriously every time I see you in the lobby or the hall you are like sprinting out the door, do you need a watch or something?” You wondered with a cocky smirk on your face “If you must know I just like to be perfectly on time.” He snarked back “and its not usually me its the driver they send every morning, he gets here so late and I have to run to him so we can make it on time” he defended himself “oh driver, what do you do for a living, you live in this nice apartment int he middle of the city and have a driver” She wondered as she took a seat herself on her patio furniture 
“nothing really special I act in a couple of things, right now I'm staring in a show on broadway called Lobby hero” he said back to her “otherwise I don’t spend much time in the city” “oh so your can actor, no wonder your always late. Have you been in anything I would have seen, note I don’t watch many movies only the ones I'm dragged to” You asked him crossing your legs facing him “uh I'm not sure then I did a few romcoms back in the day, currently I'm playing captain America” he said thinking “have you seen the old school fantastic four?” He asked looking back at you taking a drink of his water “you mean the one with uh Jessica Alba? I mean of course” You replied back “oh my god Jonny storm.. aka human douche” you smirked “thats what my friends called you in that movie” 
He couldn’t help but laugh as he clutched his chest with his hand “oh my god thats a good one, he was kinda an asshole in that movie” He smiled. That is how your days went. You two talked, and talked and talked till it got so personal Spending time with each other has been the staple of your day,
Most days you got our coffee and then headed out to the balcony with a book and waited for Chris to get up and get ready. Some days it was about an hour as you had always been an early riser. You most mornings did a home work out, weather it was yoga or like a dance video 
Walking out this morning you were just in your yoga pants and a tank-top, thank god the weather had been improving from winter and was actually warmer. 
This morning you were reading the book you met Chris reading, he had finished it and lended it to you. As you enjoyed your cup of coffee as he walked out and looked over at you “so you're enjoying it then?” He wondered as he sat down with his puppy outside You carefully close the book to not lose your page “yes I am sucked in. Its really eye opening and like life changing” you smiled across the balcony at him “good morning dodger, your cutest than your owner did you know that?” You said leaning forward and petting him since he was on the railing 
“oh is that what you really think?” Chris wondered walking up next to dodger looking at you locking eye contact, you couldn’t help but just freeze where you were, locking the stare of his piercing blue eyes.  “no?” You questioned yourself “i mean you are decent looking” you said biting the inside of your lip as you pull the stare you to hard, which had quite honestly created the most sexual tension the two of you have had yet “so what are you plans today?” You wondered “you know, talking to you, and maybe making some food” he said with a shrug “but here is the thing not go anywhere.” He smirked over at you. He found you attractive. He just looked at you as he leaned against the railing, “what about yourself” “well I was thinking about kidnapping that adorable dog, and reading this book. And I guess talking to you” you teased him slightly as you had nothing else to do ‘and order food because I'm out, lets be honest” you shrugged “i need to venture out one day but for now ill just do take out” Chris shook his head “yeah I wouldn’t they make a thing called this grocery delivery thing.” He said simply. He said taking off his jacket which relived his white t-shirt, which just outlined his muscles completely, you couldn’t help but stare at them. “right yeah right yep I should look into that” You said still looking at him. Chris couldn’t help but watch you look at him. He to be quite honest he found it even more fantasying to you. He took his moment. He opened the door for dodger to go back in as he jumped over the rail, the gap between your two balcony was about a foot, it wasn’t that much that he was going to hurt himself being on a higher floor. He had the urge to actually be connected to her, he couldn’t stand it any longer. You were so confused watching him jump over the railing “what are you doing? Are you crazy you could hurt yourself!” You said as you took a step back so he had room to land as he jumped over “oh my god you just about gave me a heart attack why would you do that!” 
Chris didn’t respond he just put his hand on your hip and pulled you closer to him and crashed his lips. You responded by kissing him back and putting your arms around his neck pulling away “what are you?” You tried to ask him before he cut you off with another kiss. You ran your hands down his shirt till it was in hem and started to tug at it, as they long enough to pull his shirt off and then he pulled your shirt off. He picked you up and set you on your patio table. You didn’t question any of it. You took a second with your hands on his abs as you pulled away from a breath “god damn what are you made out of stone” you wondered looking at him. He smiled and looked at her “no just a lot of working out, you wanna do this?” He wondered just to confirm cause concert “I've wanted this the last few weeks, but I'm not daring enough to jump over the rail, though you could have used the door” you teased him again with a smirk “thats it” he said picking you up and took off your pants as he pulled you to the front of the table as you worked on undoing his belt. You stared to push them down to his ankles. 
He picked you up again well kissing you very passionately and intently. Bringing you into your apartment, your neighbors didn’t need a show but he didn’t care at that point, He laid you down on the couch kicking off his own pants and grinding himself against you. You couldn’t help but letting a moan escape your lips, into his mouth, you could feel the edges of his lips smile knowing that you enjoyed that. He bite your lip as he pulled off your panties and you his boxers, you ran your hand down his body to meet his member, using your hand getting to run the length, guiding him to the entrance. After making him put on a condom. He could feel the wetness running off your clit as he slide into you. You gasps as he entered you, you knew how big it was, but feeling it inside of you was a whole different story. Being who he was he pulled away from your kiss “are you okay is that okay?” He wondered. You without words nodded as he started to pump his hips into yours. You lifted your legs wrapping them around his waist. Rounding your hips into his. 
He cupped your breast giving it a tight squeeze which made another moan escape you're lips “Chris, harder” you said breathless and he obeyed doing exactly what you said. 
As you closed your eyes feeling every kind of euphoric sensation you reached up and ran your hands though his He could feel when you were getting close he ran his hand down your lower body as he found your clit and started to play with it. This sent you over the edge, you could feel the pit in the lower part of your stomach tighten, and your walls around his penis. He could tell you were getting close, he shifted and started to thrust into you harder feeling you cum around him. He finished at the same time you did, the two of you road out the high of the climax before he pulled out. He lowered his head breathless as they hung over your breasts, and you shifted so he could lay next to you on the couch. You laughed slightly looking at him “did that really just happen?” You asked out loud as he joined you on the couch. “it did yes, id say it was a long time coming” He smiled and kissed you again “from the first day we met outside” You couldn’t help but smile and bite your lip “I have a question, what does the mean?” You wondered as your finger ran over the tattoo he had on his collarbone, letting it linger on his body “it is Buddhism for When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” He said back to you with a small smile “interesting” you said and kissed him again and got up “I'm hungry now” you said as you grabbed his shirt from outside and slide it over your head and walked into the kitchen. 
He got up and slide on his boxers and followed you. “right I haven’t gotten food” you said as you look in the fridge that is basically empty at this point “come on” he said as he handed you your panties and you slide them on. He took you over to his apartment and made you some food. “also if you keep wearing that shirt we might end up in round two sooner than you think” he said back to you “okay then ill keep wearing it” you said after walking into his apartment and walked over to his puppy and sat on the floor next to him “oh your such a good boy dodger, oh okay” you laughed as dodger knocked you over and attacked you with kisses Chris Smiled as he looked over at the both of you knowing that he could see a future between the two of you, and to think if you weren’t locked in the house you two may of never met. 
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mahou-furbies · 4 years ago
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It is time for
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Last year the Dazzling Pink Precure were supposed to host the event but were unavailable due to being redesigned, but this time they are ready for the job!
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Here is the magical girl (and related) media consumed on this blog this year:
(you can read my closing thoughts on them here)
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Anime: Kaitou Tenshi Twin Angel & the 2 OVAs, Twin Angel Break, Pretear, Happy Seven, Ojamajo Doremi (started), Healin’ Good Precure (most of it that’s out now), Magia Record (also following the game news though I don’t play), Myriad Colors Phantom World, Re:Creators, Concrete Revolutio)
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Movies: Fresh, DokiDoki, Happiness Charge, Go! Princess, KiraKira & Star Twinkle Precure season movies, Spring Carnival & Miracle Universe crossover movies, Magical Sisters Yoyo and Nene)
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Manga: Magical Girl Site (finished), Zodiac P.I. (reread), Sugar Sugar Rune (reread), Nogi Wakaba is a Hero, Puella Magi Suzune Magica (reread), Puella Magi Tart Magica (reread), Can You Become A Magical Girl, Colourful Macchiato)
(revisits to old familiar stuff don’t qualify for an award unless I had forgotten everything about it, Doremi is ineligible since I've only seen 1/5th so far)
Unexpectedly I managed to finish quite a lot of stuff on my last year's "plans for 2020 list".
As for blog stuff, this year the Precure Chibi Project was concluded for the designs that exists so far, but obviously it will continue when more are released and I'd also like to draw some more of the civilian clothes too. But this year over 400 chibis were drawn...
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Then we of course had the Precure Dress Tournament, with Cure Magical emerging as the winner. Hosting it was a lot of fun since I like graphs and numbers, as the fact that I keep a google sheet that documents the dates when I draw the chibis (it also calculates useful data such as how many percent I've finished).
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(Also Megumi's heart dress should totally have won the tournament)
The Precure positivity posts were also a thing this year. Usually the franchise is bitched at here at Mahou-Furbies so I tried to say something nice about each Cure that I had seen. Which was a major struggle in some cases but hopefully they don't come across as too much damning with faint praise. I plan on writing similar posts for the Cures from the other seasons too as I watch them, but also because I managed to write an entire post about Mana without complaining I take that as justification that I get to write a huge bitchy "the flaws of the Precure franchise" post later.
And then now at the end of the year the Dazzling Pink Precure finally managed to emerge again with their new designs. I hope I'll be able to post more about them in 2021!
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And now, the Mahou-Furbies 2020 magical girl awards!
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Let's start with Best Henshin Design: Megumi Moka from Magia Record! I always love a good sweets theme and I can't get over how cute she is.
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(Kikko from Concrete Revolutio was also a strong contender)
Best Team Design goes to Nogi Wakaba Is a Hero, I've always loved the YuYuYu henshin outfit design.
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The Best Powerup Look award goes to Lala's Cancer form in the Star Twinkle Precure movie! I just really like the fresh colour palette...
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Runner-up is Nagisa's MagiReco Valentine's outfit which I like for being sweets themed but I guess it's more like an alternate form than a powerup?
There weren’t that many contenders for Best Civilian Design but let’s say that since I like the casual outfits in KiraKira Precure in general, The Movie was also good at this. So let’s reward Ciel’s look, it’s nice to see a more muted colour palette in Precure every now and then!
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Oh, right! Also everyone from the Star Twinkle Precure movie! Love all their outfits. 
Best School Uniform is the one from Sukoyaka Middle School, from Healin' Good Precure! I like the colour palette, and the cut of the dress.
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The uniforms from the Twin Angel franchise are also fun with their cherry ribbon.
Best Hair award goes to Kikko, from Concrete Revolutio! The "rectangular" cut ends are fun.
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Best Magical Item is Mamika's wand from Re:Creators! There's really nothing special about it, I just think it looked nice enough with the candy cane and the heart crystal (and also not so merchandise driven since this isn't a kid show).
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The Best Henshin Scene award goes to Sudachi from MagiReco! I don’t like how detailed all the body curves are drawn in the few seconds before her outfit appears, but otherwise there’s great backgrounds in this, starting from the space theme, twinkling stars, beautiful blue sky and then ending with cute hearts.
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Best Fan Creation award goes to Marighoul’s comic “First Hunt”! (read it here) It was a fun little story and the colours were amazing!
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Best Relationship is Hikaru and Lala with the alien in the Star Twinkle movie! I would never have guessed that I’d enjoy Precures raising a “baby” mascot this much, but it is true! I love how much role their bond had in the story, and the conclusion was more epic than anything Precure has managed to offer elsewhere. 
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The Best Mascot of 2020 is... the aforementioned alien UMA! Unusual design for a girl show, doesn’t have an annoying voice or speech pattern (or in fact doesn’t talk at all), and has an interesting role in the story.
Second place is Nyatoran from Healin' Good Precure, he pairs well with Hinata and I love the scene where she records cat videos of him with her phone.
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As for Best Supporting Character, this is a joke character, but I have to say Mayune from Pretear. I'm sorry I just like this kind of dumb diva characters (with the o-ho-ho laugh!) and always had a good time when she was on screen.
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Discount Tuxedo Mask from the Twin Angel franchise was also fun, he had nice chaotic energy to him.
Best Visual goes to Kikko's magical effects from Concrete Revolutio! We always get the standard sparkles so I was so happy to see something different for once.
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Best Audio award goes to Pretear OP! The song feels a bit dated but in a good way, this is just the kind of music I like.
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The Best Scene award goes to Healin' Good Precure attack!
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Usually in Precure I really don't care for the stock attack animation and instead just focus on the henshins, but in this one I really like the bit where the giant hands rip the element spirit out of the enemy. The music is so good in that part, and the huge hands compared to the tiny spirit feel majestic.
I also liked Re:Creators scene where the (in-story) writers create a powerup for their character by getting their audience excited about it by tweeting. It was dumb how a tweet from some ranobe author goes viral in a matter of seconds, but I still thought the scene was fun and worked well.
The Innovation Award for doing something magical girl related I haven't seen dozens of times already goes to Happy Seven! I thought it was fun how the main character wasn't on the magical girl team at all and instead was practically the Muggle friend for most of the story!
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Re:creators is the runner up here with its "fictive characters show up in our world" story, but I think it could have done more with the idea, and I think Happy Seven is commendable for doing something that feels refreshing without having to be all smart and self-aware about it.
Then the Golden Mana Award for one thing that I really didn't like this year. 
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The questionable honour goes to Meguru's unbearable behaviour at the start of Twin Angel Break, when she keeps pushing her friendship on the blue girl who has made it very clear that she'd rather be left alone. And of course the blue girl is secretly lonely and ultimately caves in so Meguru faces no consequences for being selfish and entitled and having zero respect for other people's boundaries. Stuff like this fuels my rage at the Friendly-And-Energetic-Stock-Magical-Girl-Heroines.
For Best Character I want to pick Lala from the Star Twinkle movie but she won Best Character last year so let’s pick someone else. To be fair nobody (else) this year made me super excited, but leaving such a broad category as this completely empty would be really stupid, so the winner is Himeno, from Pretear!
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She had a lot more multifaceted personality than I initially predicted, had interesting and different relationships with many different characters, and of course had many unique henshin!
And finally, Best Work of the year... I know I picked Star Twinkle as the best series last year (award has been renamed now) so this feels somehow redundant, but I still can't get over how enjoyable their film was and as you may have noticed it has been mentioned in plenty of other awards already so it deserves the spot. On principle I liked that it wasn't centered around the pink Cure for once, and additionally it was about Lala who is my favourite Cure, and also since there wasn't really a villain the plot was more interesting than the same old "bad guy wants to take over the world". Also great visuals.
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And that’s it for 2020! It has been a weird year, but that didn’t really show on this blog.
Plans for 2021:
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Also once I finish drawing the chibis for the Madoka girls, expect a Madoka themed character tournament in 2021!
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shihozaki · 4 years ago
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Omg hi, I feel so exposed bc there’s no anon 😭. But oh well. I just stumbled across your account as saw that you did matchups! I was wondering if I could request a match up for BNHA? My name is Hannah (she/her), I’m 21 (almost 22 on the 13th of April 😔) (you can either age the character up or age me down if you match me with someone younger HSHDNKD they’re just fictional so I don’t mind as long as you don’t mind). I’m 5’6, ravenclaw, INFP, aries.
Personality-wise I’m honestly really shy at first but I could hold a lowkey awkward conversation and you’d probably never know that I’m shy BDJKD, but once I’m comfortable with someone I’m a complete crackhead. You’ll never get me to shut up. I think I’m pretty caring, I have a bad habit of not being able to say no though. I really need to stop doing that. My fav color is sage green or light blue! I’m honestly just scared of being alone and not accomplishing my future goal of becoming a writer/editor. Thinking about my future just really terrifies me 😭. I love to listen to music (BTS are my babies pls). I love making myself cry by watching sad k-dramas. I’m really new to anime, so if you have an sad one LMK PLS. I get attached to fictional characters very quickly. Catch me in my room fangirling to the walls bc I’m a loner ✋🏼😩. I also just have a hard time making eye contact with men, but like I do want a man for myself one day😔 just how the heck do I do that???? I’m very insecure about my looks and my body. I’m a little chubby, so someone who would not judge me bc of that would be PERFECT. I have dark brown hair and dark brown eyes (bleh) I wear glasses (I’m so blind :/) idk what else to say about my appearance LOL.
My ideal man 🤩 let me try and not make it obvious over who I simp over gosh. Uhhh I’m not picky about looks, like nothing in particular comes to mind. I’ve had a crush on real/fictional ppl that look very different from each other HDNDKSS. Call me crazy, but I would die for a protective s/o 😩 like yes protect meeeee pls. I can only see myself in a relationship with a man, so he should be male lol. But throw in a female bestie in there if you’d like 😩. As long as he loves me it really doesn’t matter how he acts. I just need me a loyal man who I can talk to comfortably. Someone who will understand my emotions and struggles? Idk. Dates—amusement park, concert, movie theatre. Somewhere where we wouldn’t have to do a lot of talking (dinner dates could be for later on when I’m more comfortable around him LOL)
Quirk o.o hm. I don’t think I’d want a major quirk that could overthrow him. Maybe I could have a quirk that helps people? If I’m matched with a student, then I’d probably be in a lower class. But if you end up aging them up or matching me with a pro hero or something then I’d probably work on the sidelines with helping rescue civilians. A quirk that allows me to see through any smoke or debris (if a building fell and someone was trapped I’d be able to see and locate them quickly) IDK honestly I haven’t thought about it much, but if you can think of anything better, then go for it 😭.
I really love Italian food, and any East Asian food (Chinese, Korean, Japanese) I love it all. Uhhh I have a dog she’s 5 years old and I recently got another puppy, she’s only 2 months old 🥺. I love reading and writing. I mentioned it a little before, but I’d love to become a writer and editor in the future. I still have a long way before I’m completely confident in my writing though :”). I love to dream. I try and think about a specific person to try and dream about them at night (it worked a few times with BTS and Bakugou 😭 I was so happy) Uhhhhhhhhhh, I think that’s all. Thank you so much for doing this! Take your time and I hope you have fun writing these. I really appreciate it! This is honestly how I comfort myself, by inserting myself into these scenarios that people write about my favorite characters, so my heart always leaps whether writers like you offer matchups! So thank you x 9827389292. I hope this was enough info to write something with 😂. OH and for the scenario maybe something like how we first met compared to how it is when we’ve been together for awhile? I suffer with frequent anxiety attacks, so that might play a role in the relationship somewhere? Idk. Just throwing ideas and info to you at this point 😭 thank you again! 💜
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I pair you up with Kirishima Eijiro!
Your quirk is “Lucid dreams”, where you can visit people in their dreams! You also have full consciousness in your dreams, so you can practically do anything when you are sleeping!
- You guys first met in middle school, when you had first transferred there. You guys became friends when he volunteered to show you around the school
- You wanted to be a writer/editor and he wanted to be a hero. You guys fully supported each other, and still kept in contact even after departing ways to high school.
- He asked you out eventually, and when you said yes, the Bakusquad came out running to you, congratulating both of you. Turns out Kirishima told his friends all about you and they followed him when he decided to ask you out.
- He drinks respect women juice every single morning- he literally praises the ground you walk on?? He hypes you up whenever you’re feeling insecure, and makes sures that you’re feeling comfortable at all times
- You made him watch a bunch of K-dramas to cry together, and at first he refused to cry (“It’s not manly to cry!”) and then gave up and ended up sobbing with you.
- And he’s SO loyal! Whenever a girl comes up to him, he immediately turns them down, saying that he already has someone. When someone comes up to you, he gets very defensive of you, and shows the guy that you already have someone by PDA.
- He helps you calm down whenever you’re having anxiety attacks, and he actually researched about it when you told him. He!s very patient and helpful
- Adores your dogs (“I don’t know who’s cuter. You, or your dogs!”)
- Don’t tell anyone, but he’s already planning the wedding with Bakugou as his best man ;)
- Overall you guys have a very trusting relationship, where two kind but also crazy souls live in harmony :)
Scenario: When you first met VS Now
“Do you remember when we first met?” You asked randomly. You were watching a K-drama with him, and the flashbacks the lead was getting in the drama made you think past your own memories. “When we first met? Hmm, it was in middle school, right?” Replied Kirishima. You nodded. “We were so awkward back then!” You said as you cringed at the thought of middle school. “You were so shy back then- you would barely say anything to me.” Said Kirishima. “You were scared to make eye contact with me!” You laughed. “I’m shy whenever I meet new people!” Kirishima laughed along with you. “I think we got really close after being partnered for a project.. it was about our future career plans?” Kirishima wondered. “Oh, I remember! You said you wanted to be a hero, and I wanted to be a writer… we were high in hopes but had so many insecurities as a child.” You thought out loud. “We’re still children.” Replied Kirishima. “At least, you act like it.” You shoved him as he smirked. “Yeah, and you were so scared to hold my hand when we first started dating.” Said Kirishima as he hugged you from the back. “Now we do so much other stuff.” You replied. “We could be doing more.” Kirishima whispered into your ear, earning a whack in the head from you. “I miss middle school kirishima...” You joked. “Black haired Kirishima was so cute..” “Hey, hey, I’m still cute. I might even be cuter than your K-pop boys.” Said Kirishima while grinning. You smiled back. “Let’s not go that far.”
Song: Dreams by Fleetwood Mac
I hope you enjoyed it! I’m actually Korean so I love K-dramas! I hope the scenario was somewhat satisfactory. Please tell me how you felt about it, and I hope to see you again soon!
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barisifictionarchive · 4 years ago
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Author: FreckledSkittles
Preferred Name: Chey
Have any events in your personal life ever influenced the things that you've written?
Oh, definitely! Sometimes when I have high anxiety, I write oneshot fics to get it all out. But generally, I use personal experiences for certain details like pet names or locations. I can name on both hands fics I’ve written like that.
Do you have a favorite movie? 
“Jurassic Park” is a cinematic masterpiece and I will not be taking criticism at this time. Also “Ratatouille” aka the best Pixar film. (Sorry for cheating and putting two, I just really love movies and wanna be a filmmaker one day)
Who is your favorite author?
Oof, I don’t have just one because it’s so hard to choose and I read such a wide variety. I’ve always appreciated Rick Riordan for his world building and characters, which I think has really influenced my writing. And not just because I’m developing a Greek mythology au lmaooo.  
How did you start getting involved in fanfiction?
Uhhhh the less embarrassing version is that I started writing on fanfiction(.)net when I was in middle school for a fandom that I am not going to post publicly because I am too embarrassed. I’ve always loved writing though and used to put outlines for different story ideas on my wall. No matter what’s going on in my life, no matter how I’m feeling, my writing is always gonna be there.
How did you get involved with Barisi?
I had watched SVU on and off for a few years but my college roommate got into it but I hadn’t watched the most recent seasons which is where she was starting so I got to watch new episodes and ones I hadn’t. (Funnily enough, when I heard Raúl was leaving, I got uninterested in anything without him, because he’s just so amazing like, how could I?) I ended up finding Barisi on accident because I have tornado anxiety (I’m from the north which hardly ever gets tornadoes) and wanted to look at Barba content and I looked for ships and found an article discussing Barisi and queerbaiting, and lo and behold. I started writing my first fic after that and posted it a month later.
What inspires you to write?
Literally anything. A video game I’m playing like “Breath of the Wild” or “Stardew Valley”? Canon scenario that should happen but won’t because the showrunners and writers are cowards? Saw a dog? Can’t stop thinking of a song? Watched a Youtube video and heard a quote that won’t get out of my head? I will find something. I’m surprised with what I haven’t found inspiration in, tbh. (Just now, I thought of an idea, my brain does not turn off Barisi)
What is your favorite fic that you have written? 
My favorite fic changes every now and then but I think right now, it’s “Running the Bases.” It’s a baseball au with Sonny as a pitcher and Rafael as a ghostwriter hired to write his memoir, and they are ridiculously into each other. I love baseball and it really helped ease the pain of not really having a baseball season in 2020. I faced a challenge in it around the type of conflict it was and the sort of story I wanted to tell with it, especially between Rafael and Sonny, and the end product is something I could not be prouder of. I genuinely think it’s one of the best things I’ve written and will ever write.
What is your favorite quote from a fic of yours? 
Like my favorite fic, this changes a lot too; right now, it’s from another fic I’m proud of: “A Learning Experience” which is a merman!Sonny fic and also slow burn (look i like angst and drama in fics okay)
“I’m sorry we aren’t the same.”
Rafael frowns and reaches a hand down. Sonny grabs it like a lifeline. “Why do you say that?”
“Because we can’t be together like we want. Or like I want. I don’t,” Sonny huffs at how frantic he sounds, his thoughts rushing together and making him trip over his words. It could be another tick against him to prevent him and Rafael from enjoying each other’s company. “I want to kiss you. And hold you. And I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Wait for me.” Rafael’s grip becomes desperate as his other hand flies forward to hold his hand between his. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but I’m not going to avoid you again. I’m coming back to you.”
Sonny tries to steal one more kiss, just one more, but falls short of making the distance and sinks back down. At least it made Rafael smile, as much as the sadness was pulling at the edges. “I’d look for you otherwise. Even if I have to walk to you, I want to be with you.”
Rafael stretches out so he can press a kiss to his forehead. Sonny’s tail stutters underneath him—the kiss had been warmth and soft, such a nice comparison to the brash and hard exterior Rafael supports, harder than the scales on Sonny’s tail—but he stays afloat. “And even if I have to swim to you, I’ll come back to you.”
I,..,.,.,didn’t mean for this to be so long, it’s Barisi’s fault (not really it’s mine skgakjhsadjdhjlag). I just writing lines where Barisi is completely and utterly and ridiculously in love and no matter where they are they’re gonna try and find one another and wax poetry at one another because they’re what? Weenies In Love
What is your personal favorite fanfic? (Can be any fandom) 
Oooooo okay so I’m gonna do a fic from the Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin fandom. (That’s right, I like anime, that’s where the FreckledSkittles name comes from.) If I don’t read this fic every year, I think about it and just get so many emotions for it. That’s my favorite type of fic: there are so many emotions conveyed into a piece that are organized and concise and so beautifully done. The fic is “Say You Will (or That You Wish You Could)” by Friedcheesemogu. Believe it or not, it’s a fic with a “grumpy one and the sunshine one” pairing; it’s a bookstore au; and it’s a slow burn. I’m not saying I’m predictable but I’m definitely predictable.
Anything else you would like to add? 
I’ve been in a few fandoms over the years and I’ve had friends in all of them but the Barisi nation folks are the first ones I’ve met that feel like lifelong friends. If it weren’t for the support I got after posting my first fic, I would not be so vigorously writing Barisi or any SVU pairing at all. So thank you for taking me in and being nice to me and reading/commenting on my fics. When I say it makes my day, I mean it from the very bottom of my heart. 
A question you’d like to ask another author?
First off, hi, it’s an honor to talk to you, love your writing, mwah. Second, what do you do with ideas that you write out or outline but you don’t end up turning them into fics? I like to keep them even though they won’t turn into anything but they still bring me a little bit of happiness for what could have been.
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yikestripes · 5 years ago
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Same old
A/N: Here you go anon!!! I hope you enjoy!!!!
Pairing: Bill x Reader
Request: May I request a fic with Bill Denbrough x reader that has Bill saving the reader from her worst fear that Pennywise is putting her through? (which can be something related to bullying or some sort of phobia). And I do think it’s more fitting as adults considering what happened in the second movie, but it’s also fine if they’re written younger—
(Y/D/J) = Your dream job
You swallowed hard, pulling up outside of the Chinese restaurant Mike had picked. You weren’t particularly prepared for the potential horrors waiting for you inside; you felt anxious as hell, being reunited with the people you’d called friends your entire childhood with barely any recollection of their names or virtually anything about them. As a matter of fact, you hardly remembered anything Mike had brought up during your brief phone call the night before about your childhood. You never had any reason to bring it up in conversation, or think about it for any other reason, so why would you remember? But then again, how could you forget? Isn’t that someone everyone does, forget? Especially when they grow up and move away? Apparently not.
You shook away the negative thoughts that swirled around your aching brain, and got out of your car as another car pulled into the parking lot. You paid no mind to the other car, too distracted by the restaurant looming overhead and what awaited you inside, when someone calling you from behind brought you back.
“(Y/N)?” You turned at the sound of your name being called by a distinctly deep, male voice, and were met with a man around your age squinting at you behind his glasses, seemingly confused. You stared for a second before it clicked; Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier stood before you, hands tucked sheepishly into his leather jacket, with his hair wild from running his fingers through it moments before.
“Oh my GOD! Richie!” You felt yourself running at him and attack him in a hug. He didn’t move at first, still slightly taken aback by having seen someone he hadn’t seen in 27 years look so painfully familiar but like a beautiful stranger. He moved to hug back but you’d already stepped back to get a better look at him.
“You look great, Trashmouth! What the hell!” You laughed and Richie’s awkwardness eased up as he smiled a bit.
“Look at you, you look gorgeous! What the fuck happened to me?” He glanced at his reflection in the glass of the window and shook his head a bit.
“Oh stop. When did you get in?” You asked, stuffing your own hands in your pockets, quickly becoming re-acquainted with the chilly air of Maine.
“Last night. You?”
“Earlier this afternoon. Have… have you seen anyone yet?”
“Nope. You?”
“Not yet. Wanna go in?”
“Not at all.”
“Alright, let’s do this.” You took your hands out of your pocket with a deep breath to calm your racing heart, and ripped the door open as Richie followed behind you.
The restaurant seemed nice and was brightly lit, which helped to relax you a little bit.
That might make it easier to recognize everyone.
The hostess led you and Rich to a private room aside from the main dining room, where 3 grown men near the fish tank, becoming readjusted to each other once again.
“Wow, take a look at these guys!” The shorter man in the red jacket said, attempting to relieve some of the tangible awkwardness.
You pressed your lips together as you made eye contact with the taller man, who seemed to be familiar in a different way than the others. His muscles contracted as he crossed his arms over his chest, his silver watch winking at you in the light. His blue eyes were bright, and full of hazy memory.
“Look at her TREMBLE girls! She’ll be a laughing stock by the end of the day!” Gretta Keene was cackling as you shook like a teapot, your back so far against the lockers that the locks were pressing into your back. You had no idea why Gretta was so terrifying, but she just was. There were no limits with her torment, and that certainly didn’t exclude you. She’d thrown wet trash on you, poured paint in your backpack in art class, and hid your clothes after gym class. She made you miserable at any opportunity, purely because she knew it bothered you; plus you were an easy target, you had no one to protect you. She had all the power. Especially since she found your sketchbook, filled with embarrassing drawings of one Bill Denbrough.
“Oh s-shut up, G-gretta.” The all-too-familiar lanky boy stepped out from behind Gretta, meekly followed by a few other boys you’d recognized from your classes through the years, who were always with Bill. Gretta whipped her ponytail around to look at who’d interrupted her fun, allowing you to sneak a bit closer to the boys.
“Aw would you look who it is, Stuttering Bill Denbrough! Coming to protect your little girlfriend, huh?” Bill’s blue eyes hardened, ignoring Gretta’s comment.
“Just leave her alone, she never did anything to you.” Bill crossed his arms over his chest.
“Oh yeah? Or what?”
“O-or I'll r-r-remind the w-wh-whole school a-about how R-Ri-Richie p-p-pulled up your skirt d-during the cl-class play i-in 4th grade.” Bill smirked as Gretta’s face turned a shade of pink.
Richie snickered as he adjusted his glasses, clearly still amused by the memory. Eddie glared at him and Richie shrugged.
“You win this round, Denbrough,” Gretta glared at him, clearly trying but failing to intimidate him. “Next time, Stuttering Bill won’t be around to save your ass, you little slut.” Gretta lunged at you and you slammed back into the lockers, trying to hide your wince after hitting a lock particularly hard.
She sashayed away as you recovered, rubbing the lower part of your back.
“Thank you.” You whispered to Bill, casting your eyes down. You were extremely shy, especially after Gretta’s torment had begun. You looked back up and Bill smiled kindly at you, extending his hand to help you up.
“I-I’m Bill D-D-Denbrough,” You shook his hand with a shy grin. “I-I know w-we’ve had c-cl-classes together f-for a few y-y-years, b-but I d-don’t thi-think we’ve e-ever spoken.”
“I’m (Y/N).” Bill nodded.
“I’m Richie!”
“Edward Kaspbrak, but you can call me Eddie.” “Call him Eddie Spaghetti, he LOVES that!”
“I told you to stop calling me that!”
“Alright Eds, have it your way.”
“I hate Eds too! It’s Eddie!”
“Calm yourself, Eduardo.”
“RICHIE!” Richie snickered again as Eddie crossed his arms, huffing in frustration.
“I”m Stanley, Stanley Uris.”
“Oh, yes! We have math together.” You smiled at the curly-haired boy. He sat behind you at math, always answering the teacher’s questions.
“Bill?” You whispered, frowning slightly. Bill broke out into a grin and approached you slowly, memories streaming back.
“(Y/N).” He said almost breathlessly, pulling you into a tight hug. Your knees almost buckled beneath you at his familiar scent and feeling of him holding you so close and so tight.
“I can’t believe it’s been so long, I just, I can’t believe it…” You trailed off, an eruption of memories causing your previous headache to return. You grimaced slightly, and shook it away, not allowing something so silly to ruin your evening.
“I know. It’s been what, 18 years? 17? Right after college, I believe, is when we last saw each other.” Bill took a step back, suddenly feeling like he was back in high school with the way his emotions were running so rampant.
“Something like that. How have you been?? What’s been going on? What do you do?” You became readjusted quickly, the other Loser’s looking on with a familiar feeling, as if they’d seen the same sort of interactions between the two of you. As a matter of fact, they had. When you were all much, much younger, and a lot more unable to speak your feelings.
You and Bill caught up very quickly as you awaited the other’s arrivals, one by one. You learned he followed his heart and became a writer, and you’d actually read a few of his books! Contrary to popular belief, you thought his endings were not that bad. He’d been married for a few years, but it never quite worked out, so they ended up divorcing on civil terms. He found out you hadn’t married; never quite finding the right person. Little did you know, the right one had been only a few hours away, subconsciously writing your personality into book characters. You’d become (Y/D/J), traveling the world like you’d always wanted to, and settling down in a place that was the complete opposite of Derry. Not that you’d remembered what it was like in Derry, but once you returned, you shuddered at how much the place had affected you.
You left the Chinese restaurant feeling a heavy weight on your shoulders, weighing down on you like never before. Between finding out about why Stanley hadn’t been at dinner, the fortune cookie massacre, and your feelings for Bill all coming rushing back at once, there was almost nothing keeping you from leaving. Almost.
“I-I’m gonna go w-w-with Mikey to the library, you o-okay to get back by yourself?” Bill asked, mentally cursing for allowing his stutter to rear its head.
“Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’m probably gonna go to bed and mull things over.” You rubbed your hand up and down his arm, watching as he untensed a little bit. Your touch was always enough to relax Bill, especially back in the days after the first battle.
You slept over his house pretty often, sneaking in and out of his window on the days you were afraid his parents would think you were spending too much time there. Half the time when you would wake up in the middle of the night by yourself, usually after a Gretta or Pennywise induced nightmare, and sneak over to Bill’s and climb into bed with him; your safe space. He would crack an eye open, smile, and open his arms to you. You climbed in and wiggled up next to him as he held you close, a smile gracing both of your faces.
“I’ll see you back there, then.” He smiled at you and his hand lingered on your shoulder for just a moment, before joining Mike in his car. You made it back to the motel without incident, and fell into a dreamless sleep.
The following morning, you woke up and found yourself shivering for the first time in years; and you knew it wasn’t because of any sort of draft. Along with the horrid memories that poisoned your childhood, the ones that remained untouched by the horrors you experienced also recurred. It was almost as if you were reverting to the person you were while living in Derry, complete with your need for Bill Denbrough to protect you.
“It’s only going to work if we split up,” Mike said, glancing at each Loser.
“No way, statistically speaking we’re much better off if we remain together as a group!” Eddie said, nervousness lacing his already edgy voice.
“W-we can’t. You w-won’t b-be able to find y-your tokens, it’s a sort o-of… personal journey. E-each of us h-has to par-partake.” Bill said, clapping a hand on Mike’s shoulder.
You shrugged and started climbing the ladder, squinting in the filtered light of the Barrens as you walked forward, feeling propelled by some unknown force. Just as Mike had advised, you all split up. You’d crossed paths with Bill a bit later in the day, who looked extraordinarily pale. Assuming he’d already grabbed his token by the look on his face, you just pulled him into a hug.
You pulled away with a smile, quickly realizing your mistake. A mangled sort of Gretta Bowie stood in front of you, hair matted and her typical blue eyeshadow was replaced by something red and gooey, assumably blood.
“Did you miss me, freak?” A voice that was only partially human seemed to be coming from Gretta, even though her mouth didn’t move.
You stood in frozen horror, mouth agape.
“I missed you, I thought you’d never come back to talk with me.” The creature that resembled your former tormenter remarked. “No one ever wants to talk with me.” The creature flipped its matted hair. “Look at you TREMBLE! The whole school is gonna know about your pathetic little crush on Bill Denbrough, the boy with the stutter. You know he never loved you, right? He thought you were a freak, like the rest of us. Just a quiet, little freak. He only pretended to like you, because he’s such a nice guy. Look at you now! All grown up and the same little crush on Big stuttering Bill Denbrough!” Gretta cackled in the most sickeningly familiar way, and you dropped to your knees in tears.
It’s not real.
It’s not real.
It’s not real.
It’s real.
You felt like you were going to throw up, all the anxiety and shame rushing back at you all at once.
Bill had crossed the street near his old neighborhood, still slightly unnerved by his encounter with Pennywise. Subconsciously, he had been hoping to run into you on the hunt for your token, looking for some sort of excuse to see you. He hated the idea of the whole group splitting up, despite the visions Mike had forced him to see the previous night. He knew it was the only way but the reality of the situation sat heavy like a rock in his stomach; he couldn’t stand the idea of losing another loved one to the goddamn clown that had been terrorizing him since he was just 13 years old.
An ear piercing scream rang out suddenly, breaking Bill from his thoughts. A very familiar scream.
“(Y/N)!” Bill whipped around wildly, looking for some sort of direction to go in. Another scream rang out and he followed the sound to Jackson Street, where he found you on your hands and knees, screaming unintelligible words. It was almost as if you were screaming at someone, not just something.
“(Y/N)!” He yelled again. You hadn’t heard him, and just kept on screaming your head off. Suddenly you stopped, and curled up in a ball, sobbing uncontrollably. You were clutching something to your chest that Bill couldn’t quite see as he tried to ease you into sitting up.
“H-hey, it’s okay. It’s me.” You looked up at him, your face completely tear stained with mascara running down your cheeks. Bill’s heart clenched a little bit.
“What h-h-happened?” You jumped into his arms, and began sobbing all over again. “Shhh, it’s o-over now. T-the clown c-c-can’t hurt you any-anymore.” He whispered into your hair, trying to get you to relax a little bit. Your heavy breathing eased as your breaths became more even, and you sat back on your heels.
“It was Gretta.” You said, your throat feeling raw from screaming. “She was telling me all these horrible things, and I-I just lost it.” You hugged the book tight to your chest.
“Well,” Bill’s eyes darted from the book to you. “At least you got your artifact.” He smiled his same old smile, making you feel a little bit warm inside. That smile could make anything seem a little bit brighter.
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