#also the tippy toes required to eye level that man like that

[lokiina]

Midas listen to your doctor 🧐

[kitten4sannie]

ᴅᴜɴɢᴇᴏɴ ᴄʀᴀᴡʟᴇʀ

ꜱᴇx ᴘᴏʟʟᴇɴ/ʙᴜᴋᴀᴋᴋᴇ ➠ ᴍɪɴꜱᴀɴʏᴜɴʜᴡᴀ

pairing: half orc! mingi x elf! reader (fem) x barbarian! san x goliath! yunho x tiefling! seonghwa

genre: fantasy au/dnd vibe, humor, gratuitous smut

summary: you go on a quest with a group of brutish, questionable individuals. anything for some gold and riches, right? 

w.c: 6.5k ish…..yeahhhh

the world’s longest list of warnings:  alcohol mention/usage, soft/hard! dom party members, brat in the streets baby in the sheets sub! reader, these mfs have a hard-on for social hierarchies esp mingi (he’s a big pervert too hehe), mxm (real homies jerk each other off), monster fucking (mimic box…listen i saw it in a porn one time and its been my dream to recreate it since okay sue meee take me to court!!), five?? some?? idk they made it work somehow, voyeurism/exhibitionism, praise/degradation, pet names, olfactophilia, aphrodisiacs, teasing, vast size differences, size kink, strength kink, manhandling, oral (receiving), overstim, tit play, bulge kink, handjob, blowjob, titjob, all the jobs actually, double penetration made possible with magic incantations <3, creampies, back shots, and facials for everyoneeee !! one for you!! and for youuu~~ also the word cock is mentioned at least 50 times in this one sorry bout that hshjs

a/n: hi ahhhh so this chaotic jumble of insanity is my baby 🥹 and it’s also my very first filth fest fic of the month !!! so yk what that means ;3 go on and strap in for me okay? it’s about to go down frfr <3 this is a sort of sequel to my half orc mingi fic but it can be read on its own! also i’ve never actually played dnd,, i’ve just heard about it from my brother so don’t expect an extremely accurate representation;;; i did do quite a bit of research tho <33 but yeah that being said…. rip reader’s elussy </3

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ᴅɪʀᴛʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ʙʏ ꜱᴛᴇᴇʟʏ ᴅᴀɴ

0:01 ❍─────── 3:01

Volume: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇ 100%

ᴘʀᴇᴠ | ꜰꜰꜰ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ɴᴇxᴛ

“Ladies and gents, now this is a quest that’s not for the faint of heart,” your local guild master announced, leaning his heavy forearms on the crowded bar table below him, stroking his long, bushy beard absentmindedly, the wood furnishing of the bar creaking underneath his weight. 

The lively room grew a bit more quiet, some individuals quirking their heads in the seasoned barbarian’s direction, yours included. “With a hefty 1000 gold pieces as your reward, this quest requires you to find and locate the rare lujuria plant, then bring its seeds back to me. Unfortunately for you lot, they’re only found in the abandoned dungeons near Mist Falls. Any takers?” 

At the mention of the plant and location, most of the interested individuals turned back to their ale and friends, resuming their loud, enthusiastic conversations. You, however, couldn’t believe how idiotic the other patrons were. You could do quite a lot with 1000 gold pieces, and being a solo adventurer, you wouldn’t even have to share it with anyone. With dollar signs in your eyes and a spring in your step, you headed up to the busy bar, having to get on your tippy toes and wave your hand around past some of the larger patron’s broad shoulders until the guild master noticed your presence. 

“Now, don’t tell me a dainty little high elf is interested in the quest I just announced. You gonna scare them off with your shiny hair and sparkly crystals?” the older man gruffed, letting out a hefty laugh, before taking a couple gulps from the oversized mug he held within his large, calloused hands.

When you simply stood there with your hands crossed over your lace-covered chest, the guild master set his mug down, his bushy eyebrows raising upwards. “Oh, you’re serious.” He leaned down to your level, cupping his hand around one side of his face, allowing you to smell the ale on his breath. “Do you know why no one likes to go to Mist Falls, little Miss?”

You shook your head, causing the small jewels that dangled from your silky hair to sway a bit. You cupped a hand around your own face, murmuring, “Why does no one like it, Mister?”

“There’s some strange wildlife that frequent the land there. Otherworldly things…things that an elf like you wouldn’t want to get wrapped up in,” he explained carefully, looking over the lens of his glasses to squint at you. “Unless, you’re into that sort of thing, of course.” 

Not understanding what he meant by his vague statement, you shrugged it off, taking his underestimation of your abilities as a challenge you couldn’t bear backing down from. “I’ll take the quest, Mister, and I’ll bring you those seeds.” 

The guild master smiled down at you, chuckling a bit, like you weren’t in on the joke that he was so amused by. ���Very well, little Miss.” He handed you the rolled-up scroll, his lips still curled into a suspicious smile. “Good luck with your quest.” 

Taking the scroll, you nodded your head at him, a smug smile painting your own face, as you turned on your heels to leave, reveling in the fact that your levels of commitment and intelligence were clearly in the upper echelons compared to the rest of the idiots that frequented the crowded guild.  

Before you could leave without any issues, a deeply familiar, incredibly cocky-sounding baritone voice interrupted your mental victory dance. “Would you look at that. Gonna handle a dungeon all on your own, eh, princess?” 

You quickly turned your head, your eyes landing on the tall, solid beast of a half-man, half-orc standing with one hand resting on his leather-bound hip, his golden eyes slowly studying your body with an almost nauseating amount of interest. “Mingi…” you sighed, the events of your last few meetings flashing through your brain, the tips of your ears turning a faint red. “Oh, you think I can’t handle a stupid quest on my own either, huh?” 

He shook his head, his shaggy silver hair falling in his eyes, forcing him to swipe it out of the way with his large ringed fingers. “Nope.” His simple response encouraged his equally large, equally intimidating party members, who were hanging out near him, to laugh and chatter amongst themselves. 

Now your hands were on your hips, getting hit by a wave of annoyance, your cheeks burning.  “Watch me.” 

Mingi took a step towards you, just to show you and anyone nearby just how much he towered over you, his lips quirking up into a shit-eating grin, still peering down at your body like he could already picture what you looked like without the form-fitting lace dress that was wrapped around your curvy body like a pretty present, one that he wanted to open as soon as possible.

“With a petite little body like yours?” He reached down to slip a finger into your hair, playing with one of the crystals that adorned it. “Yeah, so small and delicate, like a pretty little fairy, ain’t ya? Those monsters in that dungeon will swallow you whole.”

You might’ve hated Mingi to an extent, but he was good. Good at making you feel tiny and desirable, and so wet, you were afraid he’d be able to smell it from where he was standing. You closed your thighs together slightly, lowering your closed fists to your sides, leaning forward. “I-i’m not a fairy, you dumb orc! I'm an elf! And I don’t need your help!” Just as you turned around to leave, Mingi cleared his throat, making you turn your head back to glare at him. 

He placed his other hand on his hip, letting his weight shift to the opposite side, his head tilting the other way. “Sweetheart, listen, I know you’re very capable of getting what you want,” he mused, chuckling softly at the way your face scrunched up slightly in embarrassment. “But, I’m sure you could use some extra party members to back you up. Me and the boys want to help you. Won’t you let us?”

You gazed at Mingi a little while longer, before your eyes shifted to his friends, first drawn to the most elegant-looking tiefling you’ve ever seen. He had sleek skin that looked like expensive marble, his hair as white as the frost that would cover all the lands during the winter months, his heavy horns ridged and curled into an ‘s’ shape, and black as soot, his thin, pointed tail quietly slithering around in a snake-like motion behind the long black cloak that hung from his pointed shoulders. 

“That’s Seonghwa,” Mingi informed, with his arms folded across his wide tattooed chest. “Doesn’t talk much, unless it’s to cast a spell or call me stupid.” 

Seonghwa’s pretty lips formed a smirk, wrapping his arms comfortably around his slim, corseted waist, his sharp, milky eyes focused intensely on you, like he was peering through you and straight into your soul. 

“Oh, are we introducing ourselves?” someone said excitedly, your eyes following the voice upwards until they landed on the handsome face of the gentle-looking goliath standing besides the tiefling. At roughly seven feet tall, the broad man sported shiny, golden locks, pretty brown eyes, and a tribal tattoo that was plastered on his veiny neck, clad only in a thick pelt that sat comfortably around his solid waist, wearing matching furry cuffs on his thick forearms. “I’m Yunho! I like to get drunk and smash stuff. What do you like to do, elf girl?” The goliath stepped forward to shake your hand, his hand completely encompassing yours, your neck almost hurting from having to look up at him. 

“Hi, Yunho,” you replied, smiling softly, feeling a bit dizzy from your vast difference in sizes. Everything about him was just so big, you couldn't help but wonder what else was too. “I’m Y/N. I like to go on quests and collect gold.” 

“Don’t tell me we’re actually going to help a high elf,” the last party member interrupted in a low voice, sneering, showing off his large, rounded canines when you looked past Yunho to scoff at him. “And an annoying one, at that. I don’t care if she’s fuckable. This is still a waste of time.”

Yunho put a large, warm hand on your shoulder, covering it completely. “Don’t take San’s words seriously, sweet. He bullies people when he likes them.” 

The brooding barbarian folded his arms over the thick, furry pelt that covered his broad upper half, rolling his eyes, a few strands of his wild raven hair falling past his forehead. “Or maybe I just don’t like stuck-up little elven brats, ever think of that, Yunho?” His pronounced eyebrows joined together in a bout of sudden fury. “Huh? Can you even hear me up there, you oversized son of a bitch?”

A faint blush appeared on Yunho’s cheeks, smiling in San’s direction, before looking back down at you. “See? He loves me.” 

You returned his smile with a grimace. “He loves being a dickhead too, apparently.”

“Excuse me?!” San growled, about to walk up to the both of you to prove that he only loved moonshine, his trusty club, and himself. 

Mingi stepped in front of San, waving his hands around exasperatedly, wishing someone presented a dialogue skip option a long time ago, bored of the introductions. “Alright, alright, so are you coming with us, or not, princess? What’s the verdict?”

You rolled your eyes, opening the large entrance door of the guild, eventually letting out a long sigh, glancing back over your shoulder with a pout. You knew you had a slim chance of surviving without them, but you still had your pride. You let out a small hmph, annoyed when they still all just stood there waiting, encouraging you to stomp your silk shoe down on the ground, grumbling, “Ugh, are you coming, or what?”

Mingi and his friends chuckled amongst themselves and elbowed each other, amused by the amount of fiery zealousness your tiny body possessed, finishing their mugs of ale, eventually following you out of the guild and onto the dirt road. 

“Hurry up! I wanna explore this dungeon today, not during the next winter solstice!” you called out to them, already at the forest entrance, tossing your head back in an exaggeratedly annoyed fashion.

The half-orc waved his hand around nonchalantly, despite his large lower canines growing more and more visible the more he began to smile, pulling out a small pair of lace panties that had a familiar design etched into them. “Yeah, yeah, don’t get your little elf panties in a twist,” he chuckled, bringing them up to his face to take a sniff.

Your inquisitive expression melted down into one of horror, then scrunched again, this time pleading him with his eyes. “Mingi…don’t tell me you’ve kept those all this time.”

“Of course I have, princess. In fact, I jerk off with them every chance I can in your honor. I can cum real hard just from knowing I turned a high elf onto orc cock forever. I still remember like it was yesterday,” he sighed dreamily, wiping away a fake tear, like had just said the most romantic sentence even known to orckind.

“I still fuck elves, you twat! I don’t need you or your stupid orc cock!” you argued, turning away so that none of them could see how flushed you had gotten, heading into the forest by yourself.

“That’s a damn lie. You showed up to my hut like three times during the Great Hunt not too long ago,” Mingi explained, following after you, his friends following beside him. “Don’t you remember? I had to carry you home after you passed out from squirting too hard.”

“No!” you shouted from ahead of him, swearing you were going to melt into the floor.

“She’s got elven pride, that one,” Mingi sighed, admiring you from behind. “Anyway, I got her soaked panties to prove it. You want to see them, don’t ya, Hwa?” Mingi elbowed Seonghwa, who just shook his head in disappointment, while he continued smiling truimphantly to himself.

࿏࿏࿏

Your group took on a range of opponents, from skeleton armies to disingenuous slime cubes that you may or may not have fallen into, able to pass through quite a few levels of the dungeon, mostly due to Seonghwa’s spell casting abilities, San’s uncontrollable rage, Yunho’s knack of destroying anything he came in contact with, and Mingi’s axe-wielding skills. Did you want to admit that to yourself? Sure. Out loud? No, of fucking course not. 

You picked off bits of pink slime that still clung to your wet form, grumbling under your breath about how sticky you felt, not even noticing that some of the slime had already absorbed into your skin. 

“Need a little help there, princess?” Mingi mused, reaching down to your shoulder and wiping off some of the slime for you, his fingers tingling once he had done so. 

“I suppose so,” you murmured, standing still so that he could continue helping you, surprisingly not even that bothered when the other members of your newfound party all gathered around you and picked or pulled off the remnants of slime that remained on your body, face, and hair. 

As you entered the next room, all five of you noticed how the tinglyness remained, how it spread throughout your bodies like a gentle ripple effect, your bodies now collectively hot to the touch, though no one said anything to each other — at least, not yet, anyway. 

“A chest!” you gasped excitedly, putting your dagger back into its respective holder and running up to the large, gold-plated chest that sat at the edge of the room, just waiting for someone to open it up and collect its contents. 

“Don’t be stupid, elven brat. Not all chests are filled with treasure. Some of them could be decoys. You know that, right?” San rested the rounded bottom of his ginormous club down onto the dungeon floor, leaning on it, raising an eyebrow at you. “Or do you only familiarize yourself with crystals and orc cock?” 

“Shut up!” You held onto the barbarian’s insult, rather than hearing him out. “You’re just saying that because you want the treasure for yourself!” You got on your knees in front of the chest, muttering, “Selfish prick.” 

“What’d you say?!” San barked, his hand squeezing around the thick handle of his weapon. 

Mingi slung an arm around San’s tense shoulders, smiling as though he was quite pleased with himself. “She’s got a mouth on her, huh?” He met San’s grimace with a shoulder squeeze. “Don’t worry, Sannie. She’s gonna learn the hard way.” 

Yunho walked up beside Seonghwa, lowering himself down to sit on the cool stone ground with a thud, wiping a bit of perspiration that had formed on his forehead. “I’ve been feeling weird since we left the slime room, Hwa. Can you cast a healing spell?” 

“Yeah, me too, now that you mention it,” Mingi called out, rubbing his sweat-covered neck with his free hand, encouraging San to open his own black furry coat, revealing an expanse of sweaty, tan, tattooed skin underneath it. 

Seonghwa nodded his head in agreement, waving his hand around in front of him, manifesting a large glowing violet pentagram into existence, which eventually disappeared after the spell had be casted completely, a faint glow still visible around the edges of your bodies. 

“Mm, I don’t really feel any different…” Mingi mumbled, his hot-blooded body even more tingly than before, starting to feel like he could fuck someone into oblivion right at that moment, even more than usual. 

Once you had opened up the chest, ignoring the subsequent pounding inside your chest and cunt, you were met by a multitude of shiny, gold coins just waiting for you to take. “Holy shit, I’m rich!” 

“You better split that with us, before I split you in half with my cock, stupid elf!” San griped from where he stood, now a bit hunched over, his words slightly slurred, not even fully realizing what he was saying. 

“Wh-what?!” you squeaked, your ears bright red, turning your head to look at the barbarian in disbelief, not even noticing when the chest in front of you began to sprout limbs, a long, slimy tongue slipping out past the gold. 

“I said, I’ll split you open–” San fully dropped his club, which resulted in a resounding thud inside the small room. He pointed an accusatory finger in your direction, blinking at you through his hazy vision, using his other hand to grab at himself through his furry kilt. “–with my big, barbarian cock!” 

Yunho pointed at you as well, wanting you to notice the big monster that was about to have its way with you. “Um, Y/N, you should…” 

“Not now, Yunho, I have to tell this idiot barbarian to suck my clit!” you informed angrily, holding your middle finger up at San, which he returned enthusiastically. 

“Oh, yeah? Then, get your fucking ass over here and sit on my face, you elf slut,” San barked back, sticking his tongue out at you, still holding onto Mingi, appearing drunker by the second — though it wasn’t alcohol running rampant through his body. It was lust. The rest of them were feeling it too. 

“Slut? I’ll show you slut,” you grumbled, about to stand up and give San a piece of your mind, your fist, and possibly your body when the mimic suddenly snatched you up with its long limbs and pinned you to the floor. “Oh my god, what’s happening? What the fuck is that?!” 

San simply chuckled, leaning his back against the cold concrete wall of the small room, trying to cool his intensely heated body down. “That’s a mimic, dummy. I’m sure you can handle it though, since you’re so tough.” 

Mingi looked to his friends, biting at his lip, noticing that none of them even attempted to assist you, more concerned with finding out what the monster was about to do to you. Even Yunho, who was the only one with any semblance of a conscience out of the entire party, somehow couldn’t bring himself to get up, instead answering to the oversized tent that was forming underneath his pelt. 

The mimic pinned your wrists together above your head with one strong hand, using the other to lift one of your legs up into the air, breathing harshly as it studied your slick cunt through your tiny lace panties, eventually licking a long stripe up your body, from your pussy up to your chest, leaving your white garments completely soaked and see-through. 

Trying desperately to free your hands from the monster’s unwavering grip, unable to prevent more slick from leaking out of you with your legs being held open, you angled your head back to look at the upside-down versions of your party, crying out, “Are you fuckers just going to sit there and watch?!” 

“Yeah…we are, sweetheart,” Mingi sighed out, still leaning on San, a few drops of sweat cascading down his flushed face. He dragged his tongue across his teeth, breathing in the flowery scent of your arousal, inhaling so deeply his bull ring shifted slightly. “I’m sure you got it handled. Just tire it out with that wet fucking cunt of yours, will ya?” 

A strong wave of pleasure pulsed through your body at Mingi’s response, looking to each of the members, realizing that they were really just going to observe as you got pleasured by the monster, getting more aroused by the second. What was wrong with you? You would’ve contemplated it more, but any thoughts you had would completely fizzle out once the mimic’s tongue came in contact with your cunt, licking you up and down in a rapid, desperate fashion. Its tongue was so heavy and hot against your pulsing cunt, you couldn’t help but cum within a few minutes, your body going limp. “Fuuuck, oh my god…” 

“Came nice and hard, didn’t you?” Mingi continued to share his filthy words with you and his party, all five of you reacting positively to it. “I can fucking smell it, princess…” His smile twisted into a faux pout, his voice dripping with lust. “That tongue isn’t enough for you though, is it? Mm-mm, not nearly enough. You need cock stuffed inside your tight elven pussy, don’t you, darlin’?”

All you could do was let out a long pathetic whine, your flushed, fucked-our face giving Mingi and the boys the answer they needed. Now that you weren’t fighting back, the mimic lifted your lower half up into the air, positioning you so that its tongue could slither inside you, pistoning it in and out of your willing hole, your upper half hanging upside down, your tits bouncing with each of the mimic’s thrusts of its wet appendage, your writhing body on display for your party members’ viewing pleasure. “I’m…going to…kill you all…for watching…” you huffed out in between moans, drool slipping out past your parted lips. 

Mingi turned his head to share looks with his friends, all of them now dealing with the same almost painful predicament. “Are you all as hard as I am…?” When they nodded, he felt a little less guilty, reaching down to rub at his leaking cock through his kilt, able to feel how stiff it was even through the thick material. He gazed down at you, biting at his bottom lip, holding onto the thick leather of his body harness, trying not to blow his load too quickly. “It feels good, doesn’t it, princess? I can hear how just how sloppy that mess of a cunt is…Do you like the way it’s fucking you senseless with its tongue? Is it filling you up just right?” 

You couldn’t believe just how turned on you were in the moment, hardly about to breathe in between your bouts of pleasure, your body beginning to sieze up when the mimic shoved its tongue as deep as it could go, causing a prominent bulge to form inside your lower stomach. “S-so good, Min, gonna cum again…” 

“Cum for us, baby, that’s it…” Mingi sighed, leaning his shoulder against San’s, noticing how he began to play with his cock through his kilt, doing his friend a solid and reaching over to stroke the base of it for him. 

Groaning underneath his breath, San reached over to help Mingi out as well, the both of them hyperfixated on the way the mimic drank up your juices as though it needed it to live. Seonghwa and Yunho were in a similar position, but instead of answering to their aching cocks, they simply watched on, the visual stimulation clearly enough for them. 

The mimic lifted your limp body upwards so that you were on your knees, with its large, agile tongue fitted in between your trembling thighs, grabbing you by the waist so that it could drag you back and forth along its long, slimy appendage. “Just like that, oh my god, it’s so–fuck–” you gasped, barely able to look at the men that were huddled around you, the new position not allowing you to hide away from their hungry gazes, your body on full display for them. 

With his hand now fully hidden underneath San’s kilt, Mingi nodded his head at you in approval. “That’s my naughty little elf girl,” he praised you in a gravelly voice, groaning at the sensation of San tugging at his dripping cock from underneath his own pelt. “Let me see you cum one more time for us, princess. Can you do that?” 

“Yes, Mingiii, I’ll cum for you,” you whined obediently, reaching down your shiny, wet body to rub your clit around through your thin, soaked panties, unable to keep your mouth closed anymore from how hard you were breathing. 

“What a good listener you are, baby. Look at you playing with your tiny little clit without me having to ask. Such a good elf girl you are,” Mingi continued to praise you, knowing exactly what made you tick, his hand squeezing around San’s throbbing length. 

San let out a higher pitched moan, his body beginning to tremble against Mingi’s. “I can’t believe you–unnh–managed to tame her so easily…” 

“It wasn’t hard, Sannie…fuck– She may be a brat, but she’s a good girl at heart…” Mingi was beginning to fall apart as well, San’s calloused hand continually rubbing along his cock enhancing the pleasure of watching you willingly playing with yourself while you rode a monster’s tongue, his party’s presence filling him with even more warmth. “Cum for us, sweetheart, show us how pretty you are when you fall apart…” 

Mingi’s praise-filled request mixed with the sensation of your puffy clit grinding along the mimic’s slick tongue sent you barreling over the edge, cumming so hard, you saw stars, barely able to grasp at the dagger that still sat inside its holster.

Meanwhile, San and Mingi both began to groan and shudder against the cool dungeon wall, shooting their hot loads onto each other’s hands and the insides of their pelts. Seonghwa and Yunho both coated their own undergarments with white, biting into their bottom lips so hard they just about broke the skin.

They were all so deep in their wells of ecstasy that they hardly even noticed when you let out a war cry and stabbed the mimic with your long dagger, rendering it dead, causing it to fade away in a flurry of sparkly, white dust, leaving a few gold pieces for you to take. 

“I told you I could fucking take care of myself,” you grimaced, shoving your items into a small pouch you had hanging from your upper thigh.

Once the post-nut clarity set in, Mingi cleared his dry throat, scratching at his prickly chin. “I mean, you did defeat the mimic on your own, so credit is due when credit is due, princess. You just used your pussy to combat it…which is just as valid as using a real weapon, don’t get me wrong–”

“Shut it!” you simply yelled, your face so hot, it probably rivaled the surface of the sun, stomping past the recovering men and pushing the next door open once it unlocked itself, wasting no time to enter the last floor of the dungeon where the supposed lujuria plant was said to grow. 

“Let’s go help her out with that plant. And remember, whatever happens, happens. Just know I’m not fucking any of you.” Mingi patted San’s shoulder, looking over to the other members of his party with a playful smile.

San smacked Mingi’s back playfully, which Mingi returned. “Let’s put that elf brat in her place.”

Mingi nodded. “Yeah, on my cock where she belongs.”

Seonghwa scoffed from beside them. “Could you be anymore crass?”

Yunho patted Mingi’s and Seonghwa’s shoulders, practically dislocating them, smiling goofily, his cheeks and face flush from the energy he exerted.  “What happens in the dungeon, stays in the dungeon, boys.”

Seonghwa quietly nodded his head in agreement, until he murmured softly, “Indeed.” 

࿏࿏࿏

“Where are you, you stupid fucking plant?” you called out inside the vast, foliage-covered room, swiping at the overgrown leaves and plants that were in your way, almost tripping over a few vines that grew in and out of the broken-up cobblestone floor below your feet. 

The rest of your party followed your lead, Mingi and Yunho taking the initiative to cut down the thicker plants and foliage that stood in your way with their axes, almost completely out of breath when you finally came across a large pink plant growing in the middle of the room. 

“I’m assuming that’s it,” you said mostly to yourself, slowly walking up to the plant, impressed by its intricate petals and inviting flowery scent. “It’s not as scary as I thought it’d be. It’s almost…pretty…” 

Just as you reached out to touch it, Seonghwa opened his mouth to warn, “Wait, don’t–”

As soon as your slender fingers came in contact with one of the flower petals, the plant sent out a puff of dusty pink pollen directly into your face and the air around your party, before folding in on itself and growing comically large spikes to protect its core which contained the golden glowing seeds you needed to complete your quest. 

You began choking and coughing along with the others, reaching out blindly through the thick pollen, finding solace in Seonghwa’s arms, who began reciting a spell to lessen the effects of the plant’s attempt at self defense, but it was too late. Mind-altering desire had already set in. “Can’t breathe…can’t think…” you whispered, grabbing at Seonghwa’s chest, unbuckling his top and revealing his smooth, marble skin, henna-like tattoos decorating his jewelry-adorned collar bone. 

Seonghwa clutched your shoulders, breathing just as profusely as you were, murmuring, “Don’t think, then, silly elf,” before pressing his mouth onto yours with haste, his long, snake-like tongue slipping inside your mouth to explore it.

Strong, solid hands grabbed at your hips from behind, Mingi pulling them back so that he could grind his cock into your ass, his lips already ghosting along your neck. His deep, gravelly voice made you let out a weak moan into Seonghwa’s mouth when he sighed, “Gonna fill your cunt full of my cum, sweetheart. So fucking full.” 

“Then, I get to fill her slutty elf cunt with my tongue first,” San interrupted, already on his knees, positioning himself in between you and Seonghwa, not hesitating to tear your skirt and panties apart to access your rapidly dripping cunt. “So pink, so pretty…” He attached his drooling mouth onto your clit, sucking so roughly, your knees almost buckled underneath you, about to completely collapse when he plugged your hole up with his hot tongue. 

Seonghwa pulled away slightly, finally letting you breathe without having his tongue down your throat, instead completely shredding  the front of your dress with his talons, just in time for Mingi to groan and cup your tits, squeezing and moving them around, saliva leaking past his plump lips. “I always know exactly what your idiotic orc brain is thinking,” he sighed at Mingi, bringing his own hands up to tweak and pinch at your nipples, making you cry out. 

“Oh, yeah? Can you read my mind right now, Hwa? Can you tell that I’m about to stretch this elf’s little fuckhole wide open with my fat fuckin’ cock?” he said near your twitching, elongated ear, his hard length slipping in between your thighs to rub along the underside of your cunt, his dark eyes settled on Seonghwa’s before returning to your slick body, their hands moving in tandem to play with your tits, each getting a chance to squeeze your squishy flesh and tease your increasingly puffy nipples. 

Yunho, who was hard beyond measure and feeling a little left out, walked up to the side of you and reached down to show off his enormous cock, the slick , oversized tip an angry shade of red. He pouted down at you, letting out a small whimper. “Can you please help me out, sweet? I’m so hard, it hurts…” 

Unable to resist his puppy-dog eyes, you nodded, licking your lips, collecting his vast amounts of pre-cum at the rounded tip with your fingers, eventually using it to slick up the rest of his cock, doing your best to jerk him off with your small hands. “Does that feel good, Yunho?” 

“So good, doll,” he gasped, leaning his head back, not registering when he began to thrust his hips forward into your hands, using them like a fleshlight. 

You’re so big, Yunho, fuck– I can hardly wrap my hands around it…” you sighed out, opening your mouth to lick at the tip of his cock each time he thrusted into your hands. Your mind went blank, until you suddenly remembered that San was in between your squeezing thighs, devouring your cunt like it was his last meal, his tongue and lips wreaking havoc on your clit, his thick fingers shoved inside your pulsing hole.

“Like the way I’m eating this cunt of yours, eh, elf girl?” San mumbled in between slurps, gulping your juices down, a few dribbles of it cascading down his veined throat. “You don’t even need to answer, love. I can tell you do just from the way you’re fuckin’ squeezin’ my fingers.” San groaned deeply, watching the way you dripped for him as he continually went knuckles-deep inside you, biting his bottom lip, growling, “Cum for me. Cum all over my face, you brat. Fuckin’ do it.”

You unraveled almost instantaneously, getting your creaminess sucked off of your slit by the desperate barbarian, not even noticing that he had been jerking himself off so roughly, he had already made himself cum before you did. 

“Goddamn it, since when did high elf squirt taste so fuckin’ good?” San mumbled drunkenly to himself, licking at his swollen lips, prior to sucking your cum from his fingers noisily.

“You’ve had your fun, Sannie boy. It’s time for this little elf girl to experience the pleasure of getting broken in by real men. Hwa, you know what to do,” Mingi announced hastily, already bringing you down to the floor so that you were about to slowly take the half-orc’s cock in your cunt from behind, Seonghwa supporting your front, the tip of his tail already brushing back and forth over your swollen clit, rubbing his large, ridged cockhead on your puffy lips to slick them up with his pre-cum, his own plump lips moving at a quick pace, expertly reciting an incantation that would allow you to physically take two obscenely large cocks at once, all well as increasing your natural lubricant and allowing you access to heightened physical sensations.

“Fuck, look at you…What a good little elf girl you are, taking us both inside you like this,” Mingi sighed into your ear, reaching around your body to lazily rub your wetness into your sensitive clit. “Almost like you were made to take monster cock, huh? Not made for little elven peckers, it seems.” He pressed his hand into your lower abdomen, able to feel the pronounced outline of his friend’s abnormally large length. “Mm, that’s right. You loved being stuffed full of monster cock, don’t you, sweetheart?”

“Love it, Min, so much,” you choked out, your mind going positively blank, the only thing on your mind being the insanely pleasurable stretch you felt inside your core, knowing you were quite literally filled to the brim. “Feels so good, I can’t think.”

“Why think when you can just feel good, princess?” he chuckled, rubbing your tummy in an up and down motion, feeling the outline of Seonghwa’s thick, ridged length with his calloused fingers, shuddering from the sensation of their slippery cocks rubbing along one another inside your tight, slick walls . He nuzzled your neck and the side of your face with his prickly cheek, whispering onto your skin, “M’ so proud of you, sweetheart. I broke you in before and now here you are, taking big tielfing cock in your pussy while an orc’s stuffing you just as full. What a pretty sight you are. Wish I could take a picture.”

“Oh my god, Mingi, please, it’s so–” you could hardly verbalize, your eyes just about rolling into your skull, your body pulsing with so much pleasure, you could barely keep up with what was happening around you.

Mingi routinely filled your elongated ears with more filthy words, Seonghwa gazing deeply at you, your willing hole continuing to clench around their thrusting cocks, getting stretched so pleasurably, you almost passed out from that sensation alone.

All the while, San positioned himself in from of your tits, squeezing them together and driving his cock back and forth between them, grunting and groaning each time.

Yunho gently grabbed your chin, coaxing your mouth open as wide as it would go, whispering, “That’s it, my sweet, just a little wider…” He began to feed you his cock, stuffing your mouth full and instinctively fucking your throat, your jaw already beginning to ache from the obscene girth. “You’re so tiny…can barely take it…huh?” Moaning breathily, Yunho eventually settled for fucking the inside of your gummy cheek, afraid that he would suffocate you if he continued to throat fuck you.

It seemed that this quartet had been in this exact position before. That was clear to you now. You couldn't have been more wet and willing if you tried. Getting used by two filthy men while two more watched and desperately tried to get off using your body in any way they could filled you with a sense of purpose you didn’t realize you had always sought after. 

“You want our cum in your pretty elf cunt, princess?” Mingi huffed, in between harsh, deliberate thrusts, his hands cemented on the reappearing bulge in your stomach. “Huh? You want us to make a mess of you, aye? Want to be fucked so full of our seed, you’ll give us pretty elven offspring?” 

Once Yunho freed your saliva-streaked mouth from his suffocating length and resorted to jerking himself off, you were able to reply in a fucked-out, slurred voice, “Yeah–yeah–yeah– fill me up, wan’ it all. All your cum, in me, on me, I need it, pleaseee.” 

Your willing party members’ highs all crescendoed in succession, Mingi resorting to sloppy, rough thrusts inside your tight hole until he spilled most of his load into you, his cum splashing onto Seonghwa’s cock, dripping along their lengths to form a milky rim. “Oh, fuck, that’s it…but I’m not done yet, princess…I gotta–nngh–leave my mark on my favorite elf…” He slowly pulled out with lewd pop, coaxing a few more cum shots out of his cock with a large, closed fist, watching the large milky droplets slide along your smooth skin and torn sections of your dress onto the curve of your exposed ass, his eyes creasing with clear adoration. “That’s more like it…”

“W-was that necessary…?” you murmured, trying not to cum just from the sensation of getting stuffed full of cum, sensing that Seonghwa was next in line to come undone inside you.

“Oh, my gods, I…see heaven,” Seonghwa gasped sharply, the whites of his boundless eyes glowing brightly, his lips parting to allow a shaky moan to escape. Seonghwa gripped your hips so tightly, he was bound to leave handprints, relying on slow, deliberate strokes, using your contracting cunt to milk the cum from his cock, unable to resist leaving a few drops on your clit and mound when he pulled out.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, gonna cum all over these tits, you little elven slut, take itttt,” San gritted his teeth, his jaw tightening, only having to pump himself between your slick, pre-cum covered tits once more before he was able to leave thick spurts of white all over the bottom of your heated face and lips, leaving most of his load on your messy tits.

“O-oh, godddd…!” Yunho came last, and the most, closing his hands around his reddened tip, whining profusely, unable to keep himself from completely unloading all over your pretty face and hair, practically drenching you in his cum. 

Mingi reached down to cup your chin, tilting your head back so that he could get a good look at you, admiring the way their collective seed dripped off and out of you, swearing he could shed a tear from such a beautiful sight. “Look at you. My pretty princess.”

You gently nuzzled his large hand, smiling contentedly, tasting the salt of someone’s load on your lips when you licked at them. “Your pretty princess…” 

It took a while for all of you to come down and catch your breath, the effects of the pollen still practically running through your veins, but you managed to wobble your way over to the main plant and slowly pull your trusty dagger out of its holder, slashing the plant until its precious seeds dropped into your open palm. You looked down at the golden, glowing seeds, your fingers still splattered with milky liquid, reminding you of the trials you conquered to get to your ultimate goal. As you wiped your sticky face with your sleeve, you looked around at your panting, much more docile party members, wondering if it was all worth it. 

Mingi brushed some of his sweaty hair out of his eyes, noticing the way you were looking up at him, sending a cocky smile your way. “So, you’re 200 gold pieces richer, princess. How does it feel?” 

“Huh?” you questioned immediately, your fingers closing around the pouch that contained the precious lujuria seeds. “It was 1000 gold pieces. Did fucking me stupid render you stupid instead?” 

“I’m sorry, darlin’, but with each party member fee, it rounds out at 200 a person,” he corrected you, bringing you in to give you a gentle hug and a pat on the ass, chuckling delightedly to himself, his friends joining in on the amusement. “That’s still quite a bit. You can buy yourself a pretty new dress since yours is all torn and drenched in our cum, ya’ know?” He leaned his head in your direction, twiddling his large thumbs, his smile growing more lewd. "That means I can have the one you're wearing right now, yeah?"

You grimaced, your blood boiling over, already stomping your way out of the last dungeon floor, your voice still growing louder and louder the further you walked away, swearing to yourself, “This is the last time I do anything with you, Mingi! Never again. Never! EVER!” 

Mingi simply waved off at his friend’s questioning gazes, holding the seeds that you had taken from the plant inside his own hand, admiring their shimmering edges. “Don’t worry. She always comes back.” 

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© kitten4sannie, 2024.

[andromedasstarship]

in the stars - chapter 3

photo credit - unknown 

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

warnings - canon-typical criminal minds violence, stalking, depictions of murder/violence, angst, verbal fighting, drinking, unhealthy coping mechanisms, smoking (cigarettes) 

summary -  “If you’re upset over how I ended our relationship, that is completely separate from the dealings of the case and I expect you to be able to conduct yourself appropriately.” Aaron said and you thought this was what ‘seeing red’ meant

a/n - hi besties! im so sorry this update took so long! i really wanted to make it perfect and was struggling with putting this together. to make it up this chapter is a whopping 5.9k words so uh enjoy lol!

masterlist // series masterlist // read it on ao3

chapter 2 // chapter 4

-----

You had to physically stop yourself- gripping the desk chair beside you so hard your knuckles turned white- from following Aaron out the office door and demanding he make sense of the whole good cop- ha!- bad cop show he’d been putting on since the two of you had been horribly reunited outside of the police station. 

This had been the second instance of him implying or accusing you of somehow worsening the case. And he hadn’t even been in LA for over 24hrs. It wasn’t fair, you thought, angrily grumbling to yourself about all the different ways you’d love to give him a piece of your mind. If he’d been a regular man, that you’d never met before, you probably wouldn’t consider his current behavior to be so- out of pocket? disgraceful? insulting?- offensive. You knew he had a reputation for being...,a hardass on the job, but that didn’t mean he had to go overboard in his treatment towards you. Maybe he wasn’t going overboard, maybe this was just how he treated every- you weren’t sure exactly how to define yourself in the case- witness? Maybe this is just what his team expected in terms of his behavior towards people he didn’t know.

But he did know you, he knew you quite well. He knew you well enough to know you’d never purposely attempt to slow the case down. Even without his fancy profiler skills, you were certain Aaron Hotchner knew every little thing about you. Or at least he used to. 

And while Aaron may know everything there was to know about you, you were beginning to doubt if you actually knew anything about him. As expected, over the past two months the case had been taking an extreme toll on you; constantly looking over your shoulder and worrying that someone was lurking behind every corner. What made it worse, was that it was yet another situation that required you to keep a secret. You ‘had’ the officers at the station and your agent, but besides them you were dealing with this completely on your own. Making the situation about yourself felt wrong, but you couldn’t even begin to explain how hurt you felt at Aaron's accusations that you were somehow more part of the problem than you were a victim. Yes, you hadn’t gone up to him and explicitly told him how badly you were hurting, but it’s not like it took a genius- or a profiler- to reach that conclusion themselves. 

It hurt, to have someone whose validation you had once- still did- crave so much, suddenly act as if you were a ‘bad guy’. Maybe you were being dramatic, you thought. Maybe you were overreacting and reading far too deep into such short interactions. On the other hand, you reasoned that it was perfectly acceptable to have feelings. Before you could delve deeper into that mental tirade, a sharp knock on the doorframe grabbed your attention. Looking up, you saw JJ leaning halfway into the room. 

“Sorry,” you said, awkwardly letting go of the chair, “I uh, got caught up with uh, just you know, thoughts about the case!” Smooth. You tried to put a cheery tone in your voice. You tried to subtly study her reaction as you walked over to her and it was clear she wasn’t exactly buying into your sudden happy attitude. She didn’t press you though, something you were grateful for. Instead she just moved out of the doorframe, letting you join her in the hallway. 

“The rest of the team has split up already, would you like to start in the basement?” JJ asked. You had only spoken to her a couple times, briefly at that, but you already found great comfort in her presence; you could see why she held the position, her ability to comfort and connect with others was unbeatable. Definitely need to send JJ a case of wine as a gift. 

You nodded dumbly, joining her in the hallway and taking her down towards your basement. Internally, you guessed the little ‘tour’ would only take an hour tops, considering all the little spiels you’d have to give about each room. 

You felt a bit like when you went through airport security or when a police car was on a road you were driving on. That sinking feeling that somehow you were going to get in trouble even though you knew you didn’t have anything to hide. Damn Aaron. His apparent lowly opinion of you was definitely messing with your head. Oh well. 

As you lead JJ towards the basement, you could vaguely hear the other agents throughout the house. A door opening here or the sound of papers rustling over there. You hadn’t exactly asked how they would be able to tell if something was missing or out of place. But honestly? You didn’t really care what the team did in your house, as long as they figured out how the unsub had gotten in there. 

You’d already come to terms with the fact that the unsub had managed to steal your clothes and jewelry, but you just couldn’t shake the fact that he had gotten into your house. Part of you secretly wished he had pick-pocketed you on a busy street or was stealing stuff off a film set instead. It would’ve been equally as bad and creepy and horrifying, but it would’ve been worth still feeling safe in your own house. 

Smacking the lightswitch on the wall behind you, the entire basement became illuminated. “So,” you started, really drawing out the word, “this is the basement. It’s technically one big open floor, but well,” you gestured lazily with your hand, “you can see it’s kinda still split up. There’s a movie room behind those doors right there.” 

JJ stepped ahead of you, walking towards the high windows in the basement. You watched as she ran her fingers along the window edges, carefully going over each one. “Do these open?” She asked, turning back to look at you. 

You quickly shook your head. “They’re mostly just for, like, decoration purposes.” You responded, giving a slight shrug. “I um, I’m not down here much unless I’m having people over. And those stairs we came down are the only way to get in here.” You added, thinking that’d probably be helpful. 

JJ gave you that nice smile again and started towards the movie room. “I’m just gonna look in here real quick and then we can go back upstairs, okay?” 

You stood awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs, rolling back and forth from your heels to your tippy toes, awkwardly playing with your hands in front of yourself. You knew her movie room scan wouldn’t take wrong, there were zero windows in there and no other point of entry besides the door she had walked through. 

Just as you expected, JJ came back out no longer than five minutes later. Once she got closer to you, you turned slowly on your heel and started back up the stairs. “We can start upstairs and then meet the rest of your team on the main level?” You offered.

“Lead the way.” 

“There’s um, two ways to get upstairs. There’s that main staircase you saw in the foyer and also there’s a ‘servants stair’ in the back,” you said, making air quotes with your fingers at the ‘servants stair’ part, “I have people that work in the house sometimes, but it’s not an actual designated staircase for anyone.” You explained, unsure of why you were feeling so anxious. 

“Why don’t we go up using the second set of stairs? Since I’ve already seen the main set.” JJ said. 

You nodded dumbly again, and walked in the direction of the back stairs. Once upstairs, you gave the same room spiel to JJ about six times. This is ‘x’ room, yep those windows can open, nope no one regularly comes into this room, yes the balcony doors do lock from the inside. 

Just as you thought earlier, the little tour took just a couple minutes under an hour. You and JJ were standing in your kitchen, both of you leaning against opposite countertops. According to JJ the whole team had agreed to meet up in your kitchen once they were done with their scans, so it seemed that you two were the first to finish. Also expected. 

You were lucky you hadn’t run into Aaron the entire time. At times you could vaguely hear his voice coming from another room and all that did was pull on your heartstrings and remind you of when the two of you were together. Aside from the sadness factor, you still weren’t sure you could trust yourself to not yell at him as soon as you saw him again. 

“That’s funny.” JJ said amusedly-more to herself than to you-, pulling you out of your thoughts. 

“What is?” You asked. She had moved from her spot by the countertops, to standing in front of your liquor wall, staring up at a bottle you couldn’t quite recognize from your position. 

“Oh, just Agent Hotchner? Out there,” she said, gesturing broadly out to where the rest of the team might be, “he loves this brand of scotch. We joke sometimes that he’d pick it over us if he was given the choice. But apparently it’s super difficult to get. He started getting lucky a few years ago and found a way to buy it, but recently I guess that luck ran out and he hasn’t been able to find it anymore.” 

Your eyes went wide at that. Yes. That scotch was super difficult to get and it was ridiculously expensive. And yes, Aaron loved the stuff. The two of you used to constantly argue over money. He hated that you were always the one paying for everything and had created a ‘rule’ that you weren’t allowed to buy him any gifts. Of course, you managed to find a way around that rule and found that this specific scotch was his gift achilles heel. So, you used to send him a steady supply while also keeping a bottle at your place for the rare occasions he was over. 

“Oh?” You squeaked. 

“Yeah, it’s super rare or something. They only make so many batches a year don’t they?” JJ asked, turning back to look at you. 

You quickly pulled your emotions in when she turned towards you, just giving her your third dumb nod of the day. “Yep, super hard to get. Super super hard. I uh, got as a gift once, I don’t even like the stuff.” 

“You should tell Hotch. I bet he’d pay pretty well for it.” She said with a laugh, shaking her head. Definitely will not be doing that. 

----

Upstairs, Rossi and Hotch were looking through your upstairs office. While your downstairs office was more work based- you stored scripts and had meetings down there, etc.-, your upstairs office was used for your more ‘personal’ work tasks. 

“If the unsub is taking her clothes, we might have better success scoping out her closet. See the potential entry and exit points from her room that the unsub must be taking.” Rossi proposed. 

Hotch nodded at that, putting down the stack of fan mail he’d been flipping through, trying to find any repeats or ‘creepy’ letters. He made a mental note to have Reid come and read through the piles of other mail you had neatly stacked around the room.

Your attention to fanmail had been one of the things that had quickened the process of him falling in love with you. He had had his doubts in the beginning of you relationship- he had stereotyped you for sure-, your age and status giving him somewhat valid concerns that you’d be insanely disconnected from the normal world. You’d proved him wrong in many ways since the beginning, but one of those ways had been the many days you’d call him from this room, reading through every single letter you were sent and always making sure to send a small note back. 

“Good idea, let’s go.” Hotch said. He walked out of office and didn’t think twice, his body automatically walking towards the room a few doors down from your bedroom. You didn’t keep your closet in your bedroom, you had actually put a little couch and sitting room in your bedroom closet space. Instead you’d taken an entire guest room and converted it into a full dressing room/closet that was a better fit for your needs. 

As Hotch went straight into the room, he missed the narrow look Rossi was giving him from the doorframe. It only took a couple minutes, but eventually Hotch looked up, cocking an eyebrow at Rossi. “Are you going to come in?” He questioned. 

“You knew her closet wasn’t in her room.” Rossi noted, amusement clear in his voice. 

Hotch’s face paled, before he steeled his emotions back over. “I saw the clothes while walking past earlier and made the deduction.” 

“She’s pretty, isn’t she Aaron?” Rossi teased, clearly finding a lot of enjoyment in this conversation. 

“Dave,” Hotch groaned, running a hand over his face, “just, not now okay?” He asked, the desperation clear in his voice. 

Rossi certainly didn’t have the entire story figured out, but he wasn’t dumb either, he could piece things together. As much as he’d love to keep busting Hotch over this, there was something about how gentle he had been with you in the conference room and his current clear discomfort that persuaded Rossi otherwise. Rossi grinned at Hotch and raised his hands in mock surrender. 

“So, we know the unsub doesn’t have to necessarily be quiet, her room is at least what, 3-”

“Four and across the hall.” Hotch huffed out, not looking up to meet Rossi’s eyes.

“Four and across the hall away. So he doesn’t need to sneak past her if he’s coming in at night...” 

----

Back in the kitchen, you turned your head at the sound of the back patio doors opening, showing Morgan and Spencer. Guess they’d be the second pair done with their house tour. 

Just as you were about to open your mouth and offer the two of them something to drink, you noticed the rather grim expressions on both their faces. Upon better inspection, you saw Spencer was tightly gripping on to a dirty journal. 

“What’s that?” You asked curiously, trying to get a better look at it. 

“I found this uh, journal out by the edge of your property line. I think it may belong to the unsub.” Reid responded, giving you a tight lipped look. 

It was terribly cliche, but you couldn’t help but gasp at that. Your eyes going wide and your mouth hanging open. 

“I flipped through it, there’s nothing that clearly identifies him, but it seems like he was keeping track of your comings and goings. As well as keeping a list of the things he took from your house, we can cross check that list with-” 

“Can I look at it?” You interjected, a morbid curiosity consuming your mind. 

Reid gave an unsure glance at the two other agents in the room. “I think it’d be better for the rest of the team and I to look through the journal first, and make sure there’s nothing uh...upsetting in it.” 

----

With the new revelations that the unsub had managed to break into your home multiple times, the team decided it would be best for at least one of them to be with you at the house at all times; during the day they would assign a plainclothes officer to discreetly sit watch. It was comical, the way they decided on the watch and then promptly assigned Aaron the first shift of the night. 

You wondered why he agreed to it, knowing he could’ve easily pulled a seniority boss card and taken himself out of any and all future watch shifts as well. He probably didn’t want you to get closer with any of his agents, should you accidentally say something a bit too personal. He also probably assumed that with the late hour of the night, you’d immediately be going to bed or at least locking yourself away in your room for the rest of the night. 

The team had stayed hours after their first walkthroughs of the house, the new list and notes from the unsub giving you all a better idea of what to look for. You had gone through the list of clothes and jewelry in front of the team, giving them a base description of what you assumed the unsub had meant, whether or not you had considered it missing and where you thought you’d last seen it in the house.

Unfortunately, whatever Aaron had been banking on wouldn’t be happening. You hadn’t been able to shake the sinking feeling that your house was no longer a home anymore. It was painfully cheesy, but you knew that trying to sleep would be futile. Nor did you really feel like being ‘alone’ in your room. That didn’t mean you were going to strike up a conversation with Aaron or ask him to play a board game or something, but you wouldn’t be shutting away from the rest of the night. 

After the team left, you had gone upstairs and changed into a more comfortable outfit for the evening; just your trusty sleep shorts and an oversized t-shirt. You were now walking back down the stairs and towards your kitchen; you grasped a lighter and your emergency cigarette pack in one hand. As you made your way into the kitchen, you could feel Aarons eyes on you from wherever he was seated in the living room. You pointedly ignored him, instead setting the pack and lighter down, freeing your hands so you could mix yourself your favorite drink. 

Once your drink was prepped, you balanced all your things in your hands and made your way back through the living room and out the grand French doors that lead to your backyard. You walked over to one of your lounge chairs that overlooked the pool and had a beautiful view of the sky and bright lights of the city. You turned on one of your favorite playlists and made yourself comfy in the chair, lighting up one of the cigarettes. 

With the first inhale, you felt your body relax. It was a horrible habit- you knew that-, but if there was ever a time to stress smoke, you reasoned it was probably now. Over the sound of your music, you faintly heard one of the doors open again, but you didn’t bother turning around. 

“I thought you quit.” Aaron said, quite literally coming out of the shadows. Even though you didn’t turn to look at him, you could perfectly imagine him in your mind; probably leaning up against one of the legs of the cabana, arms tightly crossed and a deep scowl on his face. 

“I did.” You replied plainly, blowing a steady stream of smoke out of your mouth. Using your free hand you picked your glass back off the chair side table, twirling it slowly. As you took a long sip, you could hear Aaron walk closer, not quite coming into view yet. 

“Drinking and abusing substances in response to a traumatic situation is widely frowned upon. 

“Thank you Surgeon General,” you said, rolling your eyes before adding, “no offense Agent, but right now, I don’t really think it matters.” You didn’t even bother attempting to argue that you were on your first drink and first smoke. 

“It matters, when my team will be counting on you tomorrow. The expectation is that you’ll be a useful and legitimate resource.” Aaron said, voice tight. 

“Do you really think I’m dumb enough to actually believe, that you believe that a single drink is going to render me useless?” You asked, finally turning your head so you could give him a pointed look. When he didn’t answer you rolled your eyes again, turning back away from him. “It doesn’t matter, Agent, I’m unavailable to be a resource tomorrow.” 

“What do you mean, unavailable?” Aaron asked. He finally walked into view, sitting down on the chair next to you. He positioned his legs over the edge facing you, resting his elbows off his knees. 

“What do you mean unavailable?” You said mockingly- the alcohol in your system and stress of the day emboldening your behavior. You paused for a moment to take another drag from your cigarette; Aaron didn’t miss the way you turned your head further from him during your exhale. “You have your job Agent, I have mine.” 

“There is a dangerous free man out there with a special interest in you. He’s not only managed to break into your house but is also murdering surrogate women in place of you,” he said, voice growing louder as he went, “and you think you should go to a film set? How immature and irresponsible are-” 

“Stop doing that!” You cut him off, snapping your head to face him. For a brief moment, you were taken aback by how close he’d been sitting. “Stop painting me to be some dumb self centered girl. This is the fourth time today.” You said, staring him hard in the face, neither of your breaking eye contact. He always looked so good with a beard- stop that. 

“I’m trying to do my job and protect you,” he paused, eyes scanning your face, “I couldn’t handle anything happening to you.” In that moment, his voice was so painfully honest and it almost made you want to agree to do whatever dumb rules he had for you. 

Almost.

Instead, you swung your legs to the side of the chair opposite to him, standing up in a quick blur of motion. “Stop doing that too!” You exclaimed, running your free hand over your face. You took a long drag from your cigarette, placing one hand on your hip. Aaron was giving you a genuinely confused look and you just wanted to wipe it off in one big swipe. “Stop doing some weird little bait and switch between acting like I’m a diva and then trying to end it with some vaguely little sweet comment.” 

“You actually think I don’t care about your safety?” Aaron asked, the faintest bit of hurt in his voice. He stood up as well before continuing. “You think this isn’t a difficult case for me?” 

“You do not get to do that!” You said angrily, pointing a free finger out at him. “You are not allowed to try and make yourself a victim in this story while you simultaneously make me part of the problem. How the hell can you see yourself as even remotely ‘good’ when you left the way you did?” There it was. Maybe it was immature, dragging the breakup into the argument, but the days’ tension- not to mention the months of bottled up emotions- was finally snapping inside of you. 

“If you’re upset over how I ended our relationship, that is completely separate from the dealings of the case and I expect you to be able to conduct yourself appropriately.” Aaron said and you thought that this must be what ‘seeing red’ meant. 

“Do you treat all your witnesses like this?” You were full on yelling now, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. “Is this your version of appropriate conduct, Agent Hotchner? You’ve proven to be nothing but incompetent! You can’t even see two inches past your own fucking face to consider this from my perspective!” 

Your words had their intended effect. Aaron’s face fell for the briefs of moments before years of bottling his own emotions took back over. You had to give him some credit for keeping it, outwardly, more together than you were. “I won't fight with you over something as trivial as this. You’ll report to the station in the morning with the rest of the team.” He ordered, voice dangerously low. 

“I have to work!” You exclaimed, putting heavy emphasis on each word. 

“Going to work isn’t safe. Do you understand that? Your stalker is well acquainted with your schedule, you need to step away from what’s expected of you. It’s dangerous-”

“Oh my god,” you groaned, shaking your head, “are you even listening to yourself? Your job is dangerous every single day, hell you didn’t even step away when the job was dangerous specifically to you! How am I supposed to take advice you can’t even follow?” At the end of your sentence, you angrily stubbed out your cigarette in the ashtray, leaving the butt in the tray. 

“This isn’t about me.” Aaron snapped, voice loudest it’d been all night. “I’m trying to keep you safe. What part of that don’t you understand?” He asked, giving you a tough look. You found yourself at a loss for words and he took your silence as an opening to continue. “I can’t stand to see you get hurt.”

“Are you finally understanding how exhausting it was to love you!” You blurted out, the words catching even you by surprise. You forcibly blinked back the tears forming your eyes. “That this, is how I felt each time you were called away on a case?” 

Aaron was equally as shocked, his mouth opening in vain a few times as he searched for the proper response. “I made sure you were properly aware of the risks and demands of my job before we started our relationship.” Bad answer.

“And I never complained,” you replied, a defeated tone creeping into your voice, “not once, did I?”

“If you’re going to accuse me of hypocrisy, you should recognize it in yourself. You were equally if not more in demand than I was.” 

“I thought you liked that I was so ‘in demand’!” You said, the frustration growing again. “What was it you always said? You liked not having to worry about me alone at home, waiting up for you.” 

“You’re coming to the station tomorrow Y/N. Final order.” Aaron repeated, completely ignoring your last statement. 

“You know what,” you said, the fight in your voice gone, “I don’t have to put up with this and your lame attempts at trying to be a good guy. I’m not having this conversation anymore.” You quickly leaned over to swipe your cigarette pack and glass of the little table. 

“Are you actually going to run away from this?” He asked, almost as if he was trying to bait you back into the argument.

You scoffed loudly, staring him dead in the eyes. “You did.” 

You angrily walked around him, nearly stomping the entire way to the door. As you were halfway into the house you paused for a moment, not even slightly turning your head back towards him. “Blankets are still in the same spot in the living room.” You said, slamming the door behind you as soon the sentence left your lips. 

-----

The next morning, promptly at 8am, an email from your agent was sent to Aaron. It was incredibly petty and inherently personal, but to an outsider it was nothing out of the ordinary for someone of your status. Aaron was near furious, as expected, but even in his stubbornness he could see you had the high ground. Long story short, the email plainly stated vaguely threatened that if your work schedule were to become an issue for the team, you could easily send a ‘spokesperson’ from your team to deal with any and all future communications. Y/N 2, Aaron Hotchner 0.

Back at your house, you were having a lovely morning. The victory tasted sweet in your mouth as you got yourself ready for the long day. Sometime around 4:00AM Reid had switched out with Aaron and the two of you were currently in your kitchen; Reid sitting at one of your countertop stools while you stood over the stove. After being angrily informed by Aaron that you wouldn’t be required to come into the station with Reid, you decided to make a simple breakfast for the two of you. Reid had wanted to leave sooner, but he was also under orders to not leave you alone until you were safely in your own car and on your way.

You weren’t sure how he felt, but you thought you and Reid got along quite well. He was the closest in age to you and even though he didn’t really seem to understand any of the little jokes or references you made, there was still some level of mutual understanding there. It didn’t hurt that he was quite easy on the eyes as well, of course he wasn’t Aaron by any means- stop that! 

Over breakfast, you spent the entire time answering Reid’s many questions about various actors and actresses he was a fan of. Lucky boy, you thought; as all the people he mentioned were quite nice even when the camera was off. What was it that people said about never meeting your hero? 

He graciously offered to do all the clean up, as you had cooked, which gave you a bit of extra time to make sure you were ready to go. When you both were ready and Reid had confirmed the plainclothes officer was positioned on your street, he helped you to your car. 

With one hand on the top of your car, just as you were about to sit down, you stopped and turned to Reid. “I enjoyed breakfast, would you please tell Agent Hotchner how sorry I am that my schedule’s gotten in the way?” You asked, giving him your sweetest smile. It was another petty move and Aaron was sure to see right through it; the team had amazing skills at reading people, you knew that, but you were an equally talented actress. “I’ll make sure to let you guys know when I’ll be back at home tonight.” You added, before sliding into your car. Reid closed the door gently behind you, waving from the outside of your garage as you pulled out and drove off. 

-----

Case wise, the next two days were quiet. You had won the ‘going to work battle’ by a longshot and happily went about your scheduled days. Aaron hadn’t taken another watch shift since the argument, something you were grateful for. It wasn’t until the fourth day, that the case started to pick up again.

“Agent Hotchner?” A young officer stepped into the conference room, holding out a thick manila envelope. “This was just dropped off at the front desk, addressed to you.” That certainly captured the entire team’s attention; every head turning, as if off on a swivel, to face the officer. 

“Who dropped it off?” Hotch demanded. ‘Who dropped it off?” He repeated, an added aggression in his voice. 

“Some kid! Some kid dropped it at the front and left before anyone could get a word out!” The officer said hurriedly, raising one of his hands up in a meek surrender. 

Hotch stepped up to the officer, easily snatching the envelope out of his hands. “Assure that my technical analyst has access to your entire security feed. Now.” He ordered, not giving the officer as a second glance. “Morgan, call Garcia and make sure she accesses those tapes and identifies the kid immediately.” 

Hotch went back to standing in front of the long table in the middle of the room, setting the envelope down in front of him. “Gloves, I need-” A pair were placed in his outstretched hand by Reid before he could finish. “I don’t want anyone touching anything that comes out of here without gloves, understood?” He said, not looking at anyone in particular. His focus, completely drawn to the angry penmanship that spelled out his name. After quickly pulling his gloves all the way on, Hotch grabbed the envelope again, internally shoving down his emotions before ripping off the top edge in one clean pull. Nothing could have prepared him for the way the envelope was overflowing with hundreds of photos of you. He tilted the envelope and they all came falling out, covering the table in front of him. Reid mentally estimated there were over five hundred photos of you- some seemed to be cut, some looked to have writing and designs on them- and there were even a few slips of paper thrown in the mix. 

“Hotch, Garcia managed to grab the plate from what the kid drove off in. She's running it-” Morgan said, his sentence running off as he took in the table full of photos. “Holy shit.” He said quietly, making his way closer to the table as well. 

Hotch reached down, picking up the closest photo to him. There you were, standing on a boardwalk with your hand blocking the sun from your eyes. You looked beautiful- stop that. As Hotch further studied the photo, he picked up a second one, taking another good look. It struck Hotch and the team then, the majority of the photos were grossly intimate; as if the unsub had taken them by himself. Hotch’s stomach twisted when his eyes fell on a photo that looked like you were posing for it, throwing a big smile and peace sign up at the camera. 

“Did Garcia get any hits on any scorned lovers?” Emily asked, holding up a photo of you and a man. The face and body of the man had been aggressively scratched over and cut up, but Aaron had a sinking feeling it was of him. 

“Yea, I got another potential ex photo right here.” Reid said, holding up another picture. In this one you had clearly been looking up at someone, but the photo had been crudely cut up to exclude whoever it was. 

Morgan held up one of the slips of papers, giving it a confused look. “You lost Aaron?” He said, reading off the paper. “What’s the reasoning for singling out Hotch rather than someone closer to her age like Reid” He questioned, not expecting anyone to answer. 

“I got one of Hotch’s face scribbled over. He must’ve gotten the photo online.” Emily added, holding up a professional headshot of Hotch. “Is anyone seeing photos of the rest of us? The unsub could see all of us as interfering with his connection to Y/N.” 

Hotch’s stomach was twisted in all different directions. He knew the moment of truth was coming and was internally cursing himself for not coming clean sooner. But that paled in comparison to the sickness he felt over the unsub clearly being someone who had such personal access to you. He was certain that some of these photos dates back years. The idea that whoever was doing this had been so close to you, for so long, could’ve brought him to his knees. 

“Hotch…” JJ said, her voice accusatory. She looked up at him, face a mix of confusion and a hint of betrayal. She held up another photo and the entire team went quiet. This photo was clearly taken at a distance, but there you were looking lovingly up at a man who was certainly Hotch. 

Hotch had one hand clenched tightly on the edge of the table, taking a deep breath before he looked up at his agents staring expectantly at him.  

“I haven’t been completely honest with you all,” Hotch started, running his free hand over his face, “I met Y/N five years ago and we were together for three, until I ended things.” He was sure someone had audibly gasped at that. “I know you all may have various concerns over my proximity to the case and are valid in any anger you may feel towards me. But right now, I need to go call Y/N and make sure she’s safe.” 

Hotch didn’t give anyone a chance to reply, instead whipping out his phone and near running out the door. Leaving a team of confused and shocked agents in his wake.

-----

a/n - of course, thank you all for reading. it means the world to me! also just the quickest of shoutouts to @kylorendrip and @ssahoodrathotchner who both constantly put up with my writing complaints and all the random ideas i bounce around their dms on the daily. 

taglist - @mac99martin @iwaizumiee @kylorendrip @hqtchner @lieswithoutfairytales @ssahoodrathotchner @midsummernightdream @weasleylovers @evans-dejong @itsmytimetoodream @yoshigguk @28cnn @cuddlyklaus @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @yallgotkik @sunflowersandotherthings @alexrodriguez1269

no permission is given to copy or republish my writing on any other platform or account. if you see this story outside of my blog or my ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own nor claim to own criminal minds or any of the character involved in it.

[osmw1]

Poison-Wielding Fugitive   Chapter 60

“I assume your poison would have many applications.” “Kinda… umm, well, you might actually be using my poison already.” “What?” “There is an inexpensive monster repellent on the market… made with a diluted form of my poison. It’s the specialty of our village.”

Arleaf answers Celes with bitter smile.

“I never knew. That cheap and effective monster repellent is powered by that? Haha… I see, I see.”

It’s almost as if it was no surprise to her.

“Miss Arleaf, your cooking is a truly a rare talent. Please keep on developing it for the future of mankind. As a favor to me.” “Err… maybe ease up and not bully Arleaf too much. It’s not exactly something she’s proud of.” “If you—someone who wields so much power—say so, then so be it, Sir Cohgray.”

And then, we explored the dungeon and gathered plenty of materials. It was my first time using a pickaxe and it was almost an emotional moment for me. We’ve also had a few easy fights during our time in there. I even leveled up to Lv 48. I’m now able to use many more poisons, with a good portion of them being not weak, but moderate-level. Furthermore, it seems like they require less time to create too. Oh, like Arleaf, I got Dart Sense and also Assassin Sense too. But that second one sounds a little disturbing. I wish I got something more than just these magic-type Senses though…

‘Thy profession is much like a Ranger, so this much is expected… not to mention, your traps also use magic. I would go so far to say that thou art one half Ranger and the other half like a monster.’

I don’t know whether to thank Veno or to blame Veno for that. I guess that’s what makes me unique though. And my Poison Absorption also got upgraded. It’s now Deadly Poison Absorption. Maybe I’ll get even better buffs from Arleaf’s cooking from now on.

‘There is no man more fitting for Arleaf than thee. Art thou prepared for that?’

Perhaps she heard Veno speak, Arleaf bashfully looks over to me and then at the ground. Yeah. She’s cute. Just seeing her like that fills me with joy. But… yeah. She’s a good girl. I’ve got to treat her right. Wait for me until I can at least protect you from anything that comes our way.

“Umm. It won’t be long until I get strong.” “Of course…”

Gosh, this is a little embarrassing. Well, I should be happy that I leveled up so quick from Arleaf’s Poison Cooking. I even kinda want to advance my job too.

“Muuu!” “Muu-Muu’s even leveled up a bunch too, all thanks to Celes.”

Muu’s now Lv 41. He’s learned how to use storage magic on small objects. Before the battle, he made his axe appear out of thin air much like Veno can. It’s not until long until we all go for our advanced jobs, right? On our way back, I noticed a few pools of toxic gas. And with Hunting Sense and Veno’s incredible sensing powers, we even managed to avoid a couple of traps. As soon as we got out of the dungeon, Celes stands on her tippy-toes and makes a big stretch.

“Whew… it is rare that dungeon crawling with such a small team goes well. There is much potential to be unleashed when adventuring with you, Cohgray. Let us work hard together in the future as well.” “Oh, no, it was all you, Celes.” “I am very happy to hear you think that. Well, then…shall we head down the mountain and rest up? Or perhaps return to Master Wayne’s to use these materials before returning? It is a difficult decision…” “What can we expect to find deeper in the dungeon?” “Hmm… it might be a little tricky for you and your party as it gets a bit tougher. To ensure your safety, you should get new equipment or at least change to an advanced class.”

It’s that hard, eh?

‘Having sensed the mana in there, I know that the walls deep in the dungeon are warped. In that case, there might be another monster vying for territory. It shall surely be dangerous.’ “Though we’ve fought a rare large monster already, taking another one would be pretty rough.”

Maybe it’s better if we go back and get our equipment sorted out… It would be irresponsible for us to venture on, thinking that it’d be easy. I’ll defer to the veteran and head home.

“Alright, let’s go back then, shall we?” “In that case… let us return to Master Wayne.” “Okay.”

With that, we began heading home. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a direct coach that would take us there, so we had to take a little detour. Well, it’s not like it’s a big difference anyway, so I’ll enjoy the wagon ride. We sure earned lots today too.

‘Aye, quite so. They were very helpful with helping you gain levels. Not only was it a fruitful hunt, thou shalt even catch up to the little lass soon.’

By the way, are we at the level of mid-rank adventurers yet?

‘Good question. Indeed, thou hast a high level in thy base profession. But perhaps not enough to consider another profession yet.’

Maybe there’s still a long way for me to go. I’d like to just enjoy myself, but it sucks to be stuck in limbo though.

‘I remember the lass’ ancestor had once said that he enjoyed the thrill. And no matter what came his way, he had always been moving at his own pace. In that sense, perhaps thou art already a mid-ranking adventurer.’

There’s so much I want to say, but whatever. Then, our coach stopped by at a village…

“Hmm? Excuse me. Please hold for a moment.”

Celes calls out to an adventurer-looking person walking down the road. It seems like the adventurer knows Celes as well, warmly chatting with her. In the end, her acquaintance makes a gloomy face. Then, Celes returns to us with a troubled look on her face too.

“It seems like I will need some more time here. I apologize, but please go on without me.” “Is something the matter?” “Muu?”

Celes answers Arleaf’s question with a pained look in her eyes.

“Yes. This is the hometown of one of my comrades. I learned that his family is quite ill… and I offered to pay them a visit.”

Whoa… she really is a saint.

‘Are we but convenient strangers to her then? She has already decided to leave us and visit some friends.’

Well, we’re planning to head back to Wayne to drop off the materials anyway, right? She’ll catch up to us while Wayne is busy at the smithy. Maybe she’ll even be in time for the next coach that stops here. Is it really something to be complaining so much about?

‘Nay. But I am sure there are those who would be so narrow-minded.’

Man, I don’t understand Veno’s view on humans…

“It’s nothing you should be apologizing for. Right, Yukihisa?” “Yeah. In fact, couldn’t we come with you? If they’re sick, then maybe I can do something about it.”

I’m sure any friend of Celes can’t be that bad of a person. It might be nice for all of us to check up on them. Of course, it’s not like I’m expecting Veno to be able to cure anything. But if it’s nothing too serious, maybe we have a chance.

“To be precise, it is not exactly an illness… but I shall accept. If you are fine with it, then let me speak to my friend.”

Celes goes to speak to her comrade and explains the situation to him. He was agreeable and understanding and so, we’re heading off together.

contents: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /ch012/ /ch013/ /ch014/ /ch015/ /ch016/ /ch017/ /ch018/ /ch019/ /ch020/ /ch021/ /ch022/ /ch023/ /ch024/ /ch025/ /ch026/ /ch027/ /ch028/ /ch029/ /ch030/ /ch031/ /ch032/ /ch033/ /ch034/ /ch035/ /ch036/ /ch037/ /ch038/ /ch039/ /ch040/ /ch041/ /ch042/ /ch043/ /ch044/ /ch045/ /ch046/ /ch047/ /ch048/ /ch049/ /ch050/ /ch051/ /ch052/ /ch053/ /ch054/ /ch055/ /ch056/ /ch057/ /ch058/ /ch059/ /ch060/ /next/

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[3one3]

The Sequel - 816

L’Aveugle Par Amour

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

“Walking into the lobby.”

“Stay there. I’ll come down.”

“I need to put my bag in the room anyway. And...other stuff.”

“322”

Juan picked Hotel Zoo for his expedition to Berlin. The boutique hotel was in the same neighborhood as the actual zoo, but not technically associated with it. The historic building did feature a courtyard full of safari animal statues and topiaries though. It was also really pretty, and cool. Christina liked it as soon as she walked in, and thought of it as art deco but with a modern luxury twist. Everything was shiny, and the dark colors were broken up with vibrant purples, greens, and reds. There was tufted velvet furniture all over the place, under glitzy chandeliers. She had planned to look at Google Maps on her phone in the car between the train and the hotel to figure out where to go with Juan- what to check out, where to eat, and what neighborhoods might reward explorers with interesting finds. Instead her eyes were glued to the windows. Berlin was still foreign to her. Fortunately, or perhaps logically, Juan’s chosen accommodations were right on the Ku’damm- the premier avenue in the western part of the city, lined with high end shopping, independent restaurants, other hotels, and car dealerships. The area was a major destination for artists and the Bohemian set pre-World War I, and was still a big culture center. The sights appealed to the rider. The wide boulevard felt nothing like London. It was more modern than that, and more open, even with some very old facades. She couldn’t wait to go wander around. But there was something else she couldn’t wait for either, and it required waiting for Juan to open the door to his room.

“Hey baby gir-“ He almost got a whole greeting out before Christina stood on her tippy toes to offer her own greeting. Both styles involved lips and tongue but only his involved words, and only hers involved kicking the door shut.

“Hi,” she smiled after the 4-second kiss.

“Hi. You look great.” The Spaniard didn’t miss a beat, and used her lingering nearness to hold her waist and her neck. His smile matched hers. They were rather happy to see each other. “I like your jacket.”

So does your girlfriend, the new German resident thought, remembering when Taylor complimented her red leather Givenchy moto jacket. What she couldn’t remember, however, was the last time Juan even mentioned Taylor. Not that she cared. All that mattered just then was the way the happiness she felt was reflected back to her in his cool blue eyes, and the effect of his cologne. That Gucci scent evoked in her many recent memories of intimate engagements. It was the trademark scent, if you will, of being very naughty or very nice with him, and like the smell of cinnamon rolls made her ravenously hungry, made her crave the intimacy.

“Thanks.” She maintained her smile and started unwinding the heavy knit scarf from her neck, forcing the player to let go. He offered to take her quilted nylon overnight bag, and she followed him up three tiny dark wooden steps into the rest of the room.

It was much like the lobby, with brick accent walls, white paint, tufted everything, stylish lighting. The bathroom was all white, clean lines, smooth surfaces, and expensive looking products. Juan said he went for the nicest level room under the suites, since they weren’t going to be spending a lot of time in the hotel. The thing was, his friend had designs on spending some time there right away, before heading out in search of culture and novelty. As soon as she was finished surveying the comfortable space, she toed off her black slip-on sneakers, took her little bag over her head, stripped off the jacket, and hopped backwards onto the bed in the spot where it looked like he’d been sitting on the nice white comforter.

“I need sex and 10 minutes of snuggles and forehead kisses afterward, and then we can go on an adventure,” Christina explained, hoping to sound alluring. She was already unbuttoning the skinniest of black skinny jeans. You know what’s funny, she asked herself as an aside. I had to lay down to get these suckers on in the first place.

“I like you this way,” the Spaniard chuckled. He reached for her right foot, prepared to help pull the tiny pants off from that end. There was no way to know if he’d been eagerly desperate to rip her clothes off and go at it or if he was turned on by her completely uninhibited desire, or if he was simply willing to humor her. She knew though as soon as the jeans were off and she felt the course denim of his only moderately skinny jeans brush against her knees and thighs as he crawled over her that he was definitely down to provide the services she was looking for. His lips were possessive and predatory when they landed on hers the second they could reach her. The rider loved that. It turned her on of course, but it also just made her feel great. She was wanted, and there were no relationship complications to diminish or confuse that the way there was with André, and André was noticeably too afraid of alienating her or offending her when they were together over the weekend to kiss her like that. She figured he was afraid that she’d think he wasn’t interested in the connection- only the sex. It didn’t bother her. Experiencing her other sexual partner’s lust for her just highlighted that it had been missing. It filled a vacuum.

“Missed you,” she whispered innocently when Juan pulled back a bit to look at her, a playful smile mostly in her eyes. Her hands held onto the arms holding him up. His physical form was beginning to feel like her property in a way it never did even when they were together exclusively. The soul within it belonged to her off and on but mostly on. Only on those occasions when he demonstrated real closeness with another girl did Juan feel out of her grasp, and those usually turned into misdirected temper tantrums or hidden sadness. In contrast, the body only ever seemed to belong to him. She never thought of any of his other girlfriends, or his fiancé for that matter, as having ownership- having the right and freedom to sit on, touch, poke, kiss, lick, move, or otherwise manipulate the player’s body. Christina had ownership of André’s. She was never entirely sure if she even wanted or needed the same with the other player. As she got a taste for that privilege- for whatever reason it was changing- she grew into wanting it.

“You’re wearing a tiger shirt.” The person with literal ownership of the body in question did a kind of double take when he spotted the roaring tiger on her t-shirt. The Gucci garment was apparently surprising, and caught his attention.

“Brilliant observation.”

“What does “L’Aveugle Par Amour” mean?” he asked, reading the large words on top of and below the tiger head when she let go of his arms to spread the white shirt out.

“Blind for love. Can you stop checking out my shirt and take it off? Or take your pants off? Or stop asking unnecessary questions and kiss me instead?”

Juan took the hint. His friend’s urgency amused him enough to keep a pleasant little smirk on his mouth while he switched to one elbow and reached under her shirt to squeeze a breast, first through the soft cotton cup of her bra, and then without it when he shoved it up out of the way. Christina wanted to get in his jeans. At the very least, she wanted to get to the button and zipper. She couldn’t reach and he seemed to be deliberately trying to make it difficult. His right hand shuttled up and down her side, from pushing her underwear down her hip a little ways to uncovering her breast from her shirt too instead of just the bra inside it. His kisses were at her neck.

Literally everything is perfect, she concluded, her hands in the hair at the back of his head since evidently that was all he was going to allow her to touch for the time being. I was in a hurry because I know he wants to go out and see things, and I do too, but he isn’t in such a hurry. He’s not slow but he’s not frantic either. He’s just the right side of “I am ridiculously turned on by you being horny enough to demand that I fuck you 90 seconds after you got here”. This is perfect. The rider closed her eyes and lived the excitement inherent in being able to turn someone like Juan from sightseeing mode to sexing mood with a few gestures and a couple of words. There was no question by then that he wasn’t just humoring her, or doing a favor. He wanted her just as badly as she wanted him. That gave her all the flutters and twitches and electricity of early-relationship sex, and the ease and nonchalance of the forehead kiss she got after he finished in her mouth gave her the melting insides feeling of the love of an established partnership. It was like having all of the different feelings of a whole relationship from about the third or fourth date through the third or fourth anniversary in 30 minutes. And it was all highly energizing.

“Which way do you want to walk first?” Christina asked the Chelsea man while he installed a knit beanie on his head and she cocooned herself in the oversized scarf.

“To the left out front. We can walk on the main street for a while and then double back on the side streets. There is this music club I want to go to later. Walking and dinner first.”

“Where do you want to eat?”

“I don’t know. We’ll find something,” he shrugged, checking his pockets to make sure he had his essentials. She interrupted his inventory with a cheerful smooch.

“I’m so excited to be a tourist and not have plans.” I hate plans. Plans suck. Everything at home is about plans. Plans to be home. Plans to go out to eat. Plans to do things with Lukas. Plans to do things with friends. Plans to do stuff that’s supposed to make us reconnect. The German girl mentally rolled her eyes at what she perceived as the oppression of André’s misguided belief that he could improve their home life with these plans. She thought he was always trying to plan things because he couldn’t just sit still and let their situation play out. He needed to do something about it. He thought plans were solutions. Christina liked having plans for things like her workday, or for running errands. His plans often felt like plans for the sake of having plans, rather than plans for accomplishing something, be it an objective task or a subjective goal, like “fun” or “relaxation”. Juan’s only plan was to see where their interest took them, and then check out a club whenever they made their way to it. His friend wasn’t exactly sure how to define the difference. She just knew it was there.

“Are you in-the-street-famous in this country?”

“Huh?”

“Do people recognize you on the street here?”

“Oh. I dunno. I don’t think so? People recognize me in Dortmund, but literally everyone in Dortmund is obsessed with football.”

“I meant because you’re Christina Schürrle, not because you’re Mrs. André Schürrle.”

“I doubt it. Are we hiding?”

“No.”

“I need a coffee for adventuring.”

“Okay, but I’m not carrying your shopping bags because your “hands are full”.” The Spanish player leaned over to peck her cheek, and started for the door. Smartass, Christina thought, smiling and following after him. They were in search of culture and sights. They both knew Christina couldn’t pass up retail though.

Berlin turned out to be colder than expected in terms of ambient temperature, and warmer in terms of pretty much everything else. The city was new to both of them. Christina had visited for specific functions, just never to actually walk around. Nothing had ever brought her companion there before. He told her about his stop at the headquarters of a social charity partner that endeavored to use football to improve the lives of children, particularly in poor urban areas. It was quite nice for her to hear about something other than herself, or horses, or Borussia Dortmund. Too many of their regular conversations were getting sucked into the hole that was her transition period. Juan was supposed to be the sunshine outside of that, and so he proved to be once again. It helped that the city provided alternative topics for discussion. They found small art galleries, independent artisans’ shops offering everything from soap sculpture to handmade journals and paper goods, random reminders of history, record and book stores that seemed in abundance compared to London, and a gallery selling nothing but architectural photos from places around the world. That was a favorite stop. Rider and footballer both picked out a couple of prints to take home, and the proprietor helped them choose frames and mats too. The photos were to be shipped to their respective homes.

Having to give their separate addresses made Christina a little sad inside. She kept it there- kept it from showing. As few as 8 days earlier, she was still thinking about their futures converging in perhaps one shared address. There was still a desire for that within her. It didn’t go away just because her future at her current address, with André, was looking more tenable than it did a week before. That duopoly felt like it had the potential to be really confusing and difficult. It begged questions such as: What happens if I want to be with both of them? She thought about a fantasy life while the Spaniard spied through the windows of a restaurant across the street from the photo gallery- a fantasy life in which she split her time between the two midfielders, with separate families even. Obviously it wasn’t realistic, and she didn’t even want a situation like that, but there was no stopping her mind from wandering down that path until the player she was with asked her to translate the menu by the door.

The place was called “80 Days”, as in “Around The World in Eighty Days”, and fittingly offered culinary delights from all over. Juan was after something interesting and uniquely Berlin, rather than looking for whatever the hottest, hippest, trendiest spot in town was at the moment- that would be for the next night- so an eclectic looking establishment with everything from Wiener schnitzel to country fried chicken salad with Georgia peaches was perfect. They shared falafel balls and hummus, a roasted lamb dish with fries, and traditional currywurst. That last part wasn’t so much shared as eaten by just Juan. Christina never went anywhere near currywurst, no matter who was trying to share it with her. There was a debate over whether or not to have two big glasses of German beer with their meal. The idea was rejected because of their next destination. They wanted to save their alcohol calories for the jazz club.

Just in case the more recently crowned of the two World Cup winners forgot how impossible a fantasy life with two separate partners would be, the jazz club offered up an opportunity to remember. The space was pretty small and pretty modern for a jazz club, but with nostalgic nods to more authentic venues, like tall lamps that belonged in an old lady’s parlor, and the cliché drop-shape red candle glasses for the tables. The furniture definitely came from yard sales or thrift stores. None of it matched. There were a few sets of chairs that went together, but not with anything else. Seating options included two recycled sofas on the side of the room, sturdy wooden chairs at round tables, dainty upholstered chairs right up close to the drums and piano, and tall-backed patio chairs around tiny tables meant to serve as end tables in what would have been a very stylish living room in the late 1970’s. Counters lined the two longest walls, with mismatched wood stools. The club was in a retail space, so the acoustics weren’t ideal for a music venue. There was a lot of glass window to contend with. Two mustachioed and bowtied men served the drinks behind the small bar with the establishment’s name in neon above. Despite the aforementioned, it was known as one of the best spots in Europe for classic jazz. The real problem with the club was that Christina couldn’t sit under her jazz advisor’s arm, or hold his hand, or make out with him when the mood struck her. Even if she could split her future between a partnership with him and a partnership with her husband, in different countries, she could only be a partner to one in public. That didn’t matter so much since it was all fantasy and imagination and not something she really wanted. Still, it was no fun to resist instinctive urges while she enjoyed good wine and nice music.

“Are you ever going to get more tattoos?” Juan asked her inquisitively after she got some hair caught in the button that held a fishtail-braided cotton string bracelet on her wrist. He had to help free a wavy lock from the little piece she’d been wearing 24/7 for a few weeks, and the presence of the inked fox beneath it must have made an impression.

“I don’t know. I don’t have any plans. I actually kind of wish I had put my raven somewhere else.”

“Like where?”

“I dunno. Somewhere I don’t have to see it in the mirror,” Christina shrugged. She felt compelled to scratch at her side near the tattoo, even though it didn’t itch. “You should tattoo my face on your neck. Neck tats are so hot right now.”

“Can I tattoo your lips on my backside?”

“I mean, you could but...nobody would know they’re mine.”

“Do you like the piano player? If you listen to just him and cut out the other instruments, I think he’s pretty good.”

“I guess. I dunno. This music isn’t my thing. To me it’s like being in Bergdorf’s in Manhattan 15 years ago.”

“We can go soon if you want,” the footballer yawned. He didn’t take offense to her opinion. He wasn’t really into the music either. They shut their mouths and paid attention when the musicians got really into their craft and everyone in the club got caught up. Otherwise they were just chatting about things they saw and places they went, other people sitting near their table, and pictures on their phones, mostly of each other, taken by one another that evening. There was no big headline act to perform. The pair of friends, and indeed the other patrons, treated the music as background for their socializing rather than something to be quiet and observe.

“Are you offering me a reprieve because you think I’m bored,” his ex-girlfriend smiled back. “Or are you just tired and ready to go back to the hotel?”

“We’ve been here 90 minutes and two glasses of wine. I think that’s enough. We’ll take a taxi back, yes?”

“We’re miles from the hotel, so yes. I’m trying to treat my ankle well since, ya know, I have a World Cup Final next week and everything.”

“Are you excited for it yet? You haven’t talked about it much since you had to scratch Dirk.”

“D’ya know what? I’m not excited anymore. Not even because of Dirk. I had a look at the entry list on the train this afternoon,” she explained with a sour note in her voice. “Almost nobody great is even going. It’s going to be me and Marcus and Ludger, a handful of other top Europeans, less than a handful of the top Americans, and then a bunch of grid filler! It’s so lame! I guess because it’s in the States and it’s an Olympic year, nobody wants to bother with it. Also, there is nothing else to show in while you’re there. At least when they have it in Europe at a normal show, you can take three, four horses and do other stuff. I’m kind of annoyed now,” she complained. “Maybe I wouldn’t have even bothered fighting to qualify if I knew it would be like this. I could have qualified like four shows early. Or maybe I wouldn’t go at all. Tom says I have to go anyway to try to defend my title since that doesn’t happen much, but it actually does happen a lot. I looked it up. There have been 5 back to back winners in my lifetime, including Rodrigo Pessoa’s three-in-a-row, and several of them used the same horse, so I can’t even pretend it’s for Riri.”

“Be careful, cariña, or you’ll psych yourself out,” the ever-cool footballer advised. “If you go in thinking it isn’t a big competition, then you ride like it isn’t a big competition. When you point out that not all the top riders are going, you have no excuse not to win. Those two things don’t go. You’re going to disappoint yourself.”

“As long as I don’t embarrass myself, then I don’t care how it goes,” the defending champion shrugged before taking the penultimate sip of her Burgundy. “I wanted Dirk to win. Now...meh. I have bigger priorities.”

“You’ve had a good week.”

“How do you mean?”

“You’re in a good place. You sound good.” Juan looked away, and Christina was left puzzled. Is he pointing out that I’m relaxed and not whiny for a change because he’s happy for me, or because he was on the lookout for signs of how a whole week in my new home with my Schü is really making me feel, without the filter I naturally apply, intentionally or otherwise, when I talk to him about stuff? Was or is he worried that I’m going to pull away from him if things are all better at home? Or was it nothing to do with any of that, she wondered. Is my mental health just noticeably better today? My point of view is improved? Differently focused? Does he like that I sound better, or no? I sound strong about- “Let’s get the bill.” Hmm.  

The pensive equestrian picked up the tab, and studied her suddenly quiet date. He seemed weirdly fixated on his phone while they waited for the waitress to return her card, and then in the car on the way back to the hotel with their shopping. She resolved not to take it personally, or to keep trying to read deeper into his behavior. She wanted the easygoing and engaging Juan back, and there was something in her duffle bag that she thought might help restore him. After wiping off her makeup and changing into a black tee for bed, she padded out with the object from her bag and a pump-top bottle of lotion discovered in the bathroom.

“Can I show you something?” she asked the silent player with two mobile devices in his hands and the comforter on his legs.

“Is that a photo album?” His curiosity was certainly piqued by the navy blue leather book in her hands.

“Mhm. It’s my mom’s but I stole it from her when she asked me to find something in the boxes in her basement. This was what my family was like before ponies and horses, when we were a real, happy-ish family.” Christina presented it to him and climbed into bed with the lotion to rub some into her dry spots while her friend got to explore the photos of her early childhood. There was a specific and considered reason why she wanted to share the album with him, and she intended to explain it to him after he looked through. A warm, “awww” smile spread across his face as soon as he opened it.

“This is you? Did you go to Hawaii?” He zeroed in on a picture of Christina in a Hawaiian floral print bikini, with a tiny grass skirt and a colorful lei. She was standing between her parents, each holding one of her hands.

“No, we went to my uncle’s Hawaiian-themed backyard BBQ,” she chuckled. “I was like three.”

“That’s your mom in the bathing suit? Wow.”

“Ew don’t go there, Juanin.”

“Your hair was so blonde, so curly! I don’t think I’ve seen pictures of you this young. Look at this one! Your birthday cake was pink?”

“Yeah. Mom made it. She made the same funfetti cake for me and Aidan every year. His had chocolate frosting with dinosaur sprinkles and mine was pink vanilla when I was little, and then chocolate later on. I didn’t like anyone sitting at that plastic table with me except the girl in the white dress. Everyone else was related to me, and I hated them all. I don’t think I had other friends when I was that age.”

“Who is the girl in the white dress? This is her too, no?” The amused footballer pointed to some other photos on the next page, with precious moments from other family parties and occasions, and dance recitals.

“My neighbor. We were best friends but I also hated her a lot of the time. Her mom was super glamorous though. Mrs. Case. I used to be jealous of how cool she was. She told me when I was like 17 that she was always envious of my mom when I was growing up. She said my mom went to the grocery store every day to buy fresh ingredients for dinner. Mrs. Case didn’t cook. If I ate at their house, we had macaroni and cheese from a box, or Mr. Case grilled hamburgers and hot dogs. He was a judge, and a stockbroker. And an alcoholic, and a total dick. They split when I was 8-ish. He then blackmailed my parents into getting me to go to his second wedding as moral support for his daughter when I was supposed to be at an SAT prep class and- well, it’s a long story. I’ve told you about them before.”

“Yeah, I remember. The girl who made the opera record?”

“Mhm. This one of all of us on the dock was in Newport, Rhode Island. I don’t remember anything about the trip, but we took one of Dad’s friend’s boats up there. Notice how my dad was always wearing those ugly too-big baseball caps with the huge brim, like Donald Trump?” Christina laughed at the memory of her dad’s caps. By “always” she meant whenever he was out in the sun, which wasn’t actually that often. He wore them for golfing, and for boating and fishing. They didn’t do a whole lot of other things outside.

“This is a great picture, cariña. You are the spoiled baby!” Juan had his biggest laugh at an image of Mrs. Martin sitting on Mr. Martin’s lap, with Aidan sitting on hers, and Christina sitting on Aidan’s, back when the kids were small enough for all of that to work. Mr. Martin was kissing his wife’s cheek, his wife was kissing his son’s, and his son was trying to smooch Christina too, but Christina was scowling and trying to get away. “Beautiful family.”

“Yeah, we were a perfect, happy family. And then I turned into a professional pony rider and we weren’t a family anymore, and once we weren’t a family anymore then nobody else was happy anymore.” The grown up iteration of the scowling little girl keeled over onto a pillow on her side, the enjoyment of sharing something with her best friend and seeing him react to it gone. He’d already gotten to the crux of why she brought the album with her to see him. “We stopped doing things as a family when Aidan and I started going away to horse shows every weekend, and riding after school. The three of us were together, but never with Dad. Then Aidan quit riding and it was just Mom and I. Once we weren’t together as a family, my parents weren’t happy together anymore. It can be traced that far back. I’m starting to wonder if horses and family happiness are mutually exclusive. What if you have to devote everything to horses to be good at it, and there’s nothing left to give to your people?”

“Don’t be silly. Haven’t you ever considered that perhaps the reason your mother was willing to give so much time to you and your riding was that she was already unhappy with your dad, and just trying to stay away? You might have the cart before the horse. Forgive the pun.” Her moral and intellectual sounding board kind of furrowed his brows at her suspiciously, and then returned his blues to the book. There were Easter egg hunt, skateboarding, tennis, golfing, Christmas, and baseball game outing memories to take in, including a disturbing number of photographs of the world class rider eating ice cream from small plastic batting helmets at Shea Stadium in New York, the home of the Mets. The private school that she and Aidan attended in their earliest years hosted an annual outing to the park to take in a game from the bleacher seats, with a party in the “[Insert Title Sponsor Here] Picnic Area” reserved exclusively for the students and their families, and Mr. Martin usually took the kids on their own a couple of times each season. She only liked going to baseball games to eat hot dogs, soft pretzels, and ice cream sundaes. The baseball was of no interest whatsoever, though even as a wee toddler, Christina could recognize and appreciate how much her dad liked to go to the games. What she didn’t know at that age was that he only enjoyed going to the games because he got to see the kids have fun, so really, nobody cared about the baseball.

“No, because my mom would do anything for us, pretty much. She didn’t have friends. All she wanted to do was help Aidan and I do whatever we were into. She took him all over to find new skateparks. I got to go to the zoo or the aquarium whenever I wanted. If I said I wanted to go to The Plaza Hotel for food at the Palm Court like Eloise, we went. We went to Broadway shows. We got our hair and nails done all the time. We went shopping at Lord & Taylor a lot because apparently I really liked the chicken noodle soup and plain frozen yogurt served in the pretentious cafe on the 8th floor. Mom totally lived to hang out with her kids. Once I started riding for real, that meant barn stuff aaaaaaall the time. Not just taking me to the barn to ride, or to the horse shows. When we weren’t doing that, I wanted to go to the different tack shops to browse and pick up the new magazines, or go to other barns to see friends who moved, or who I knew from showing. I wanted to go to the big events I wasn’t good enough to ride in yet, or go back at the end of the week after my classes were long done so that I could see the feature Grand Prix. Instead of going to The Plaza Hotel, I wanted to go into New York City to visit the Miller’s flagship- that was a huge saddlery. While we were off doing that, she and Dad were drifting apart, I guess. By the time I was old enough to even notice, they had no relationship anymore beyond like...not even roommates, but maybe coworkers. And make no mistake. I was the best pony rider on the block because all I thought about and cared about was horses and riding. You can’t be good at this sport if you treat it casually. You can’t be great at it if you don’t treat it like a lifestyle. As I look at what I want to do with the horses now, and the schedule I feel I need to pursue, and everything else...I’m like, “What if you can’t do this and have a good family life?” And that’s a question that exists whether I want that life with Schü or with you.”

“Your parents had their own problems. You’ve said many times that your dad was always working anyway. Not all relationships can only work when the people in them are together constantly.” Juan peered down at her with an expression that actually made her think of her mom. That’s the look she gave me when she was sympathetic about whatever I was having a tantrum about, but thought it was ridiculous. Hmph. “You have to ask yourself sometime if you want your relationship to work or not. You’re always making excuses for the problems, or looking for reasons why it’s doomed to be difficult. You have to ask yourself why that is. Are you really just looking for a way out of it? And if you are, is it because you’re afraid of fighting through the hard parts, because you don’t believe there should be any parts that are that hard, because deep inside you don’t want that future, or because what you really want is something with me? Why are you always looking ahead and saying “This is going to be a disaster”? Either stop doing the things that make it a disaster, or start having more belief in yourself. It’s the same as with the World Cup. You go in thinking the competition isn’t top level and it doesn’t even matter to you, and you’ll ride that way. You go into difficult situations thinking that they’re impossible, or that you’re guaranteed to suffer, and then you end up making yourself suffer.”

“I didn’t get the eternal optimist gene.”

“So you pretend. Tell yourself what you want is possible, that you can have it, and that you will have it.”

“Yeah, no, my brain doesn’t operate that way, babe. I just feel even more uncertain because I know my faith is fake.”

“What do you want me to tell you then? You always ask me these “what if” questions but your mind is already made up.”

“Okay. Never mind then,” Christina sighed, giving up. She brought the photo album to try to get clarity or perspective on the idea that her life goals were incompatible with one another, and her counselor was correct- it was difficult for her to accept his guidance when it went against what she’d already decided was true. “You can just go back to enjoying the photos for their comedic value and not as evidence supporting my damaged worldview.”

“Do you remember many things from these photos?” Juan wasn’t succumbing to her melodrama or sympathy-seeking. He didn’t treat her like she was contemplating serious things. He remained casual- nonchalant, even- and maintained a thoughtfulness about his manner that was neither deep nor absent. It was just somewhere in between. It was level. It was steady. He was steady. That was something she relied upon him for without even knowing it. The Spanish footballer was like horizon. He helped her find levelness when she pitched too far one way or the other.

“I remember a moment here and there. Like I can remember the places I found Easter eggs, and I sort of remember a very early Christmas, but mostly, no. I have no recollection of my parents being a happy couple.” She nodded against the pillow, and he studied her for a moment without giving away anything about what he was thinking. Instead, he eventually scooted down the bed and twisted to use her tummy. On his back with his knees bent and feet flat on the mattress, he angled over to use her as a prop for his head so he could continue browsing her non-memories in the photo album upright in his lap. Despite not remembering much, his headrest could still explain the context of most of the pictures, or relay what she was told about them. They went through the book and cycled through laughing, teasing, taking offense, expressing confusion, and “aww”-ing.

“You should post some of these on Instagram,” Juan suggested after closing the book at the end. “All your fans would like to see small Christina in her ballet costume.”

“You should turn off the lights and snuggle with me and talk to me about something nice, in your sleepy bedtime voice.”

“It’s like you think you can order services off a menu.” He shook his head as if to rue her demands, or perhaps how easily he acquiesced. “Same as earlier.”

“I just have very specific needs that have gone unfulfilled since last we said goodbye.”

[wellnessroutines]

Sex Positions That Effortlessly Replaces The Gym

Pushing those heavy irons and also racing on a treadmill isn't the only means to exercise or increase your strength. Sex can in fact construct certain muscular tissues, depending upon exactly how thoughtful you are with your positions.

Two professionals-- Madeline Castellanos, MD, a sex therapist in New York City, as well as Vanessa Castro, a licensed personal instructor in Miami-- offer suggestions on which ones to attempt. Given that hitting the health club sets you back money as well as time, these totally free workout sex placements give you one of the most bang at no charge. The very best component is that your companion will be greater than happy to assist you fulfill your health and fitness goals. Let's go!

Triceps

Once you've mastered the lotus position, which mainly functions the reduced abdominals, transform that go up a notch. In lotus lean, you are in the exact same position, other than instead of wrapping your arms around your person's back, lean back and also position the hands of your hands level onto the bed with your fingers facing your butts. This variant functions even more of your arms as well as if you flex your joints, 'it resembles doing a tricep dip,' says Dr. Castellanos.

Glutes and Hamstrings For this action, get on your own right into a lunge position, recommends Dr. Castellanos. Picture this: He's remaining on a sofa or durable chair and also you're on top, with your left foot on the sofa as well as your ideal foot on the ground. You'll function your left glute as well as your best hamstring. When you're midway there, change your legs, so you'll function both sides of your body uniformly. If the chair is high and you have to stand on your tippy-toes, you'll work your calves, too.

Deltoids Think of this relocation as doggy-style with a twist. You're on all fours on the bed as well as he's standing behind you, next to the bed. He gets your top thighs, raises both of your legs up right into the air and holds them wheelbarrow-style while he thrusts. Rather than supporting yourself mostly with your top body, you'll be supporting on your own only with your top body, so it's an excellent exercise for your deltoids (shoulders). 'It feels like suspension training, like TRX,' spokens Castro.

Upper Abs This legs-up position calls for a decent quantity of hamstring versatility, so to heat up, touch your toes a couple of times beforehand. Lie on your back as well as put the backs of your thighs versus your person's upper body. You can either stick your feet straight into the air or flex them over your person's back, relying on what's most comfortable for you. Then lift up your head and also shoulders into a crisis during sex, recommends Dr. Castellanos, which will tone your belly and blast away stomach fat.

Lower Abs In lotus, encounter your male as well as sit on top of him. In this intimate present that entails deep eye get in touch with and kissing, your arms and also legs are covered tightly around his back as well as his arms as well as legs are wrapped firmly around your back. Channel your internal tummy dancer, spokens Dr. Castellanos, and utilize your lower abs to pull your pelvis up as well as down. If you have actually ever taken ballet or a barre workout course, you understand that small motions could have substantial results.

Chest You most likely currently know exactly what doggy-style ways, however in instance you require a refresher: You're on your hands and knees as well as he lags you (either kneeling on the bed or standing close to it). This position forces you to function your top body, since you have to utilize your arms to support on your own. To test on your own during infiltration, 'lower your shoulders and do a push-up' states Castro. Tip: This might be less complicated to draw off on the floor if your bed is as well soft.

Quads Get into the cowgirl position and after that turn it right into even more of a frog placement. It may not appear hot, however it's effective! You're on top, however rather than relax your knees on the bed, rest your feet on the bed, states Dr. Castellanos. As you move up and also down, the placement essentially ends up being a reduced squat, which mainly targets the quads (the front upper leg muscle mass). You could even progress and also in reverse to work that muscle mass team more as well as melt additional calories.

Hip Flexor Try the scissors posture. You're both resting on your sides. If your man is on his immediately side as well as you're on your left side, as opposed to relaxing your best leg on top of his torso, elevate it to a 30 to 40-degree angle, Dr. Castellanos suggests, and hold it there for as lengthy as you could to function your right hip flexor. The next time you make love, switch sides. This is thought about isometric exercise due to the fact that you're not relocating your muscle (like when you do bicep swirls)-- you're holding it still (like throughout a slab).

Glutes If you don't intend to attempt anything that's extremely acrobatic, attempt something that's somewhat easy as well as keeps you really secure by inflating great antique missionary sex with the arc. When pushing your back, keep your head and shoulders on the bed (ideally on a soft cushion), spokens Castro, and after that target your glutes by raising your behind as high as you could and holding it there for as lengthy as you can. After a couple of seconds, you make sure to feel the burn!

Total Body Once you've gotten the hang of the arc, like the Glutes placement, you could try a sophisticated version called the link, which Castro states jobs also more muscles. Increase your behind once more, yet this time around, use your arms to lift your head and also shoulders off the ground also, making a straight line with your upper body that's parallel to the bed. It's like a slab, just you're facing the ceiling as opposed to the ground. This solitary step will target muscles in both the top and also lower body, including the glutes, abs, biceps, triceps as well as deltoids.

Finally, adopting different sex-related positions as well as exercises can be a huge task to some individuals, yet it obtains pretty interesting with time as well as normal practice. It is essential to keep in mind that equally as with exercise, if any one of these sex placements cause you some form of pain, quit as well as see a physician for medical checkup.