#also the things that happen to my insides when women put their hands in their pockets is not okay

[demonicbaby666]

yuhhhhh, totally straight 😒

[benegesseritofficial]

The effects of face paint on Harrowhark's psyche

I've now cosplayed Gideon Nav 3 times, with my wife along as Harrow every time. Naturally, this has included full face paint for both of us each time and I have some thoughts.

Let me start by asserting that everything Muir writes in TLT about the face paint is accurate. Rubbing off your lips first, smearing into gray where the black and white meet, the way sweat makes it ooze but not run. I can't say if Muir (a known Homestuck) ever cosplayed as a troll, but I'm positive she tested out the practicality of the skull face paint or otherwise has first hand experience with extensive use of grease paint. Also, the way she describes normal people flinching when they see you is spot on.

I've noticed while putting on the make up that once most of my skin is covered, any flesh tones sticking out start to become unsettling. Specifically, the red/pink of the inner mouth and around the eyes jump out upsettingly. Every time I've done skull paint I find myself meticulously trying to patch over these edges of skin, despite knowing that it's inside skin that Shouldn't Have Make Up On It. Once my face is monochrome, I don't want to be able to see a scrap of real human under there. Smiling, or otherwise opening your mouth wide enough to see the pink, looks UNSETTLING. My own skin causes the uncanny valley effect. You see where this is going. In NtN we learn Harrowhark disassociates often enough that Crux isn't surprised or concerned to see "Harrow" insisting she's someone else. Obviously this is due to her schizophrenia, and perhaps trauma besides. But it doesn't account for every aspect of why Harrow's "like that." On her most lucid days Harrow ignores her body to the point of sweating blood and passing out. She goes entire days without eating. She thinks of herself as a skeleton unfortunately covered in flesh. She sleeps in her paint.

All of which is heinous, but that last one has stuck with me. From age 13-18 I barely glanced down while I showered and whatever I saw I basically blocked out. I wore underwear and a bra under my pajamas to sleep every night. I was going through the wrong puberty, "my body was in open rebellion" as I liked to say at the time, and the only way to cope was to bind it down and pretend it wasn't happening. By Gideon's narration in HtN one gets the impression most nuns of the Ninth are putting their paint on after breakfast and taking it off when they get home. It's not even expected the average person wears it every time they leave the house. But Harrow regularly only takes her paint off in order to redo it. I suspect a combination of being the most brainwashed person in her own cult, knowing how she was conceived, and the regular disassociation make it very difficult for Harrow to conceptualize that she actually lives in a body. If she faced that fact head on she'd have to ask why it so often feels someone else is using her body. She'd have to cope with owning this body, being a part of this body, that was bought with the blood of 200 children who should have been her peers and friends. Instead she pretends it's an object on loan from them. And she does it with 10 layers of black petticoats and so much paint she never has to see her own skin.

Which brings me to the final thing I've noticed wearing full face paint. It dehumanizes you to yourself and everyone around you. I couldn't read my own expressions in a mirror. Even people who understood and were delighted with my cosplay were visibly nervous talking to me. You don't look like a person. Studies have shown that faces wearing heavy make up are ranked as harder to read and perceived as less empathetic. It's a particularly insidious trap of patriarchy that many women find self esteem in wearing make up, while that very act makes everyone around them treat them more callously. And, worst of all, if you stop wearing it once you're used to it, your naked face is shocking. You look sick due to your colors being less bold and the normal small flaws of your face appear unbearably ugly. With all this in mind, Harrow has trapped herself in a feedback loop of not being able to witness her own face and becoming more and more disgusted with the flesh and person underneath whenever she has to glance at it.

[inkskinned]

it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)

i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.

i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.

i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.

in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.

i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.

i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.

my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.

i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.

i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.

it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.

almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.

i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.

i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.

write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Until I found you

The reader's nickname is princess. There are slightly spicy scenes so mdni. Fuck boy Eddie who quickly turns into simp for you Eddie, fluff and a bit of angst. 18+

❤️

The First time that Eddie met you was when he was running from a very irate ex fling. He had literally just ended things and she had taken it badly; even though he told Cassia that he wasn't a relationship guy, she still thought that she could change him.

So intent on getting away from the crying and yelling he fell arse over tit and landed in a heap at your feet.

Normally Eddie would put on the charm right about now but his mind had gone blank at your pretty smile and the amusement in your eyes.

"Uh hey, you wouldn't mind hiding me from my very angry ex would you?" you snort at his request and proceed to help him up.

Now he would like to say that he charmed the pants off you that night but he didn't. In fact it was weeks before that would happen.

Eddie didn't do love. He was too cynical for that shit and he had seen enough break ups and fighting from his own parents and couples around him in his early years that it stuck with him.

Truthfully when he was younger there was still an idealised part of him that dreamed of finding someone who would love him but after various disappointments it was easy to close off that part of him.

He was thirty nine and had yet to have a serious relationship, preferred to indulge in flings with like minded people; there were still a few women who liked to think they could change his mind despite his warnings but they were unsuccessful.

Some people liked nothing better than a challenge and Eddie was a challenge, but he was also stubborn and refused to change his mind about things.

Even when he met you he was still determined that you would be like the others, that this would be a short fling and then be over within weeks... well if you ever agreed to go on a date with himm

However you seemed to have other ideas...

When you finally did agree to a date, Eddie made sure you knew the rules. No way was he having another angry woman chasing after him. You seemed pretty nonchalant about the whole thing until towards the end when you surprised him by gently taking his hand.

"Doesn't it get lonely?" you ask him curious and a little sad. He swallows and shakes his head. "No" he murmurs but that isn't quite the truth, he does get lonely but chases it away with flings, weed and D&D.

You didn't look like you believed him but you dropped it and gave him a little smirk. "So what's this amazing date you're taking me on Munson?"

❤️

Weeks pass and Eddie doesn't seem to realise that this has lasted longer than his usual flings, the two of you are having fun so he doesn't see why you would have to stop now.

Eddie groans as he thrusts into you, he can never get over how incredible it feels being inside of you and quickens the pace, loves the way you moan his name and clench around him.

A powerful, intense orgasm rocks the both of you and Eddie moans into your neck, softly kissing over it and your breasts. You're still shaking from the intensity of the orgasm, eyes closed and a blissful smile on your face.

"Hey beautiful" he caresses your cheek for a second, you cuddle back in his arms and look so content and happy, warmness spreads over his chest as he watches you. Fuck.

This was bad, this was very bad. What the fuck was going on with him? He was moving into dangerous territory here, things he avoided like the plague.

While you were nodding off he quickly dressed and tried to ignore his racing thoughts. So he liked spending time with you? So what! that didn't mean anything.

The content feelings that had been popping up out of nowhere meant nothing either, the warm feeling when he looked at you? Maybe he was getting sick or the AC was too high. That must be it..

This was fine. Maybe if he kept telling himself this then he would believe it? He feels a tug on his hand as he's trying to find his shirt and you're wide awake and gazing at him with big puppy eyes.

"Stay" you murmur sleepily and pout, it's so adorable that Eddie can't help but join you back in the bed.

This was fine. It was just one night it didn't mean anything. Nothing at all.

...

Steve is the first person to notice what's happening, he presses a beer into Eddie's hands before everyone arrives for the campaign and the two settle to chat.

"So you and princess? It's lasting a while huh?" Steve waggles his eyebrows at Eddie who almost chokes on the beer he's drinking, annoyed at Steve's teasing tone he shrugs and answers.

"I could end things whenever I want Steve" Eddie waves off Steve's comment, he really doesn't want to mention to Steve how sick he feels at the thought of never seeing you again.

"Yeah, you could but you don't want to Munson and you need to admit that to yourself" Steve says wisely and is saved from answering as some of Hellfire arrive.

No he doesn't.

Steve doesn't stop there and pins Eddie with his gaze. "Dude she's a catch and if you lose her because you're so stubborn, you know she will get snapped up like that" he snaps his fingers and Eddie feels like he's been punched in the gut.

Steve is right. He knows he's right and Eddie knows he's right and those thoughts stay with him.

He tries to lose himself in the campaign, and it works for a while, he's completely in DM mode and smiling at his enraptured audience. Dustin and mini Dustin are hanging on his every word as he finishes this part of the campaign on a cliffhanger.

"Dude, seriously!" Mike whines and Eddie smirks and pats Mike on the shoulder, "Wheeler good things come to those who wait. Now scram!" he orders him.

He's already annoyed that he was so distracted at times during the campaign in the first place, it wasn't often but it was enough to unnerve him. Since when did he get distracted while he was in the zone?

It was you that was distracting him and Steve stupid musings but speaking of you distracting him...

You walk into Steve's house smiling shyly at Steve and your eyes light up the minute that you find Eddie. His heart annoyingly speeds up which makes him grumble under his breath.

The minute you're in his arms his grumbling ceases and he smiles. "Hey whatcha doing here princess?" he's aware of the others watching him and gawking, he throws them a dark look and they scatter off in different directions.

"I thought I'd surprise you, is that alright?" you ask nervously and he's quick to assure you it's fine. The two of you liked hanging out together so he didn't see the problem and he never wanted you to feel nervous asking him these things.

"Sure princess, you want me to teach you how to play? I have a mini set back home" he doesn't expect you'll say yes but you surprise him by nodding happily.

"I'd like that Eddie"

❤️

Eddie smiles as you fall asleep cuddled into his chest, the two of you have barely left the bed since he picked you up from work and you're finally tuckered out.

Usually right about now he would slip out while you slept. Except he finds out that he doesn't want to, he wants to stay and the thought doesn't make him want to run for the hills.

You mumble in your sleep then whimper as your hand traces the empty sheets, he moves closer to you and instinctively you seek him out and sigh content when you're cuddled up on his chest.

It's cute as fuck and he melts. Melts, he can't cope with how sweet that was and he feels that warmness flood over him again as he strokes your hair.

The realisation hits him then. He could happily do this for the rest of his life.

Well shit. That was new and terrifying and he needs to leave now and not look back.

For a second it feels like he can't breath and he's gently moving you to your side of the bed and is halfway through scrambling for his boxers when it hits him that he doesn't want to leave.

His breathing calms and the racing beat of his heart slows down to a normal rhythm.

Once again the thought of not seeing you again makes him feel like his chest had caved in and he slumps back on the bed and immediately gathers you back in his arms.

With a gentle kiss to your hair and the feeling of your body flush against his, he begins to relax and he admits to himself that the feeling of you in his arms is something he will never tire of.

He wants to do this for the rest of his life.

❤️

[slut4thebroken]

Mark The Day

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jackson Rippner x reader

Summary | Jackson wants an heir, so he buys a slave from an underground breeding farm.

Warnings | NON CON, smut, sexual slavery, dark, dead dove do not eat lmao, vibrator, overstim, multiple orgasms, breeding, light humiliation/degradation, mentions of branding/inflicting harm on reader, bondage, dehumanization, AU?

Words | 2k

Notes | Idk I tried to keep the focus on reader only and not really write anything about the ‘other women’ but I kinda had to a tiny bit just for the ‘plot’. Hopefully it wasn’t too much tho😓

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

Kinktober | day 16: sexual slavery

Read this first ❤️🫶

“As you can see, we make sure to thoroughly train each slave.”

Jackson glanced around the room, but his attention was drawn to you. You weren’t acting out, but you were significantly more jittery and visibly anxious than the others. “What about her?” He asked, pointing at you. 

“Arrived at the facility a week ago. We’ve just begun the training process…” Jackson continued admiring you, taking in the way your red rimmed eyes looked around frantically and your body trembled. “If you’re interested, training should be complete by the end of the month.” As the man spoke, Jackson glanced around the room, taking in the other, more docile girls. 

“No need.” He said surely, turning back to the man who hesitated. “I’ll take her.”

“I would strongly advise against that, Mr. Rippner… She’s far from obedient and the fertility treatment hasn’t started yet.” 

“I know. I’d like to break her in myself.” His eyes strayed to you again and his lips curled up into a small smile. “How long does the fertility treatment take?” He asked, not looking away from you. 

“We usually wait two weeks before putting them on the market.” 

“Can it be done in one?” 

The man paused for a moment. “I’m sure.. for the right price, we can make that happen for you, Mr. Rippner.” Jackson turned to face him, his expression relaxed but also a little amused at the man’s overt attempt to upsell him. In response, he held his hand out to shake on the deal. 

“May I?” He asked, pointing to you. The man just gestured to you, silently giving permission. Jackson walked over to you and you tried to back away, but the chain connecting your collar to the floor wasn’t long enough for you to be able to escape him. He crouched down in front of you and examined you closely with a small smirk. 

“You’re a pretty thing.” He murmured, hungrily dragging his gaze down your nude body. When he lifted his hand to grab your chin, you flinched away from him, making him chuckled softly. “And scared too… We’re going to have a lot of fun together.” 

A week later, Jackson returned to pick up his new slave and take you home. “What’s your name?” He asked, making you falter. After a moment, you gave him your name, your voice timid and full of fear. “Jackson.” He responded, guiding you through the house to a room. 

“You’ll sleep in the crate in my bedroom. However, for our play time, I set up the spare room just for you.” He smirked predatorily, watching you walk inside. You looked around, feeling your stomach churn as you took in all of the whips, toys, restraints, and furniture. 

“Fortunately for you, I’m not a cruel man.” He pulled you over to a breeding bench and bent you over it, strapping down your wrists, ankles, and torso. “So between most breeding sessions, you’ll spend your time right here.” You could hear movement, but you couldn’t turn your head enough to see what he was doing. Then he was suddenly walking in front of you, now holding a ball gag. You clenched your teeth, trying to keep him from putting it on, and he sighed. 

“Either I put this gag on and continue as planned, or I whip your ass until you bleed, and then put this gag on and continue as planned.” Your bottom lip quivered as your gaze shifted between his face and the gag. With tears in your eyes, you reluctantly opened your mouth. “Good girl.” He secured it, then brushed away a tear that escaped your waterline. 

You flinched when he suddenly stood up, but he just moved behind you again, out of your field of vision. As soon as you felt something press against your clit, you stiffened, then cried out when he turned the vibrator on. He seemed to be debating what speed to set it at, but eventually he settled on the highest setting. 

“There we go.” He smiled, stepping back to admire his work. Your legs were already quivering from the intense pleasure and he could tell you were trying to hold back your sounds. Walking back in front of you, he grabbed your cheeks and lifted your face as he bent down. 

“That feel good?” He cooed mockingly. You sobbed out a moan and squeezed your eyes shut, your brows knitting together in an adorable display of agony. “I bet it does.” He chuckled. “Like I said, I’m not completely cruel. I know you won’t ever be turned on enough for our breeding sessions to not hurt you— at least, not yet.” When you whimpered around the gag, he released you and stood back up. “You’re welcome.” He said dryly. 

You could hear his footsteps as he walked and you were already dreading whatever he was going to do next. Instead, all he said before slamming the door shut was, “Enjoy your night.” 

The next morning, he woke up and took his time making himself breakfast and getting ready for the day. Eventually he decided to check on you.

Your sounds were audible before he even opened the door and once he stepped inside, his cock twitched at the sight. “Oh wow.” He chuckled, stepping closer. At the sound of his voice, your crying intensified and you started pleading through the gag. The vibrator was still going strong, but it was covered in your come, and there was a puddle beneath you, so you either squirted, or pissed yourself. 

“Maybe I should’ve let them train you a little longer.” He smirked, slowly making his way to the front of your body. “Do I need to get you some pee pads?” He cooed, making you cry harder. Once he was in front of you, he grabbed your hair and yanked your head up, relishing in the image of your flushed, tear stained cheeks and the saliva that was steadily drooling out of your mouth around the gag. 

“How was your night?” He asked, only making you more distressed. You were sobbing so hard that he could even see the snot leaking from your nose. With a sigh, he released you and walked behind you to turn off the vibrator. Your whole body sagged in relief, your muscles still twitching weakly. 

Leaning closer, he used one hand to grab your ass and pull it open a little, while the other dragged through your slick folds. You let out a choked sound when he pushed two fingers inside you without warning. 

“Perfect.” He murmured, slowly fucking them in and out of your drooling hole. You were still so tight, but he would at least be able to fit his cock in there. You whimpered and squirmed a little, barely able to move in the restraints, and he let out a low groan, unable to wait any longer. 

Your body went completely rigid at the sound of his belt buckle, but he ignored it, opening his pants frantically and taking out his length. He moved the vibrator away for now and lined up, then immediately pushed in, forcing a strangled cry out of you from the sudden stretch. 

He bottomed out with a grunt, taking a moment to admire the sight of your pussy wrapped tightly around his cock. When he pulled back, it was already glistening with your arousal. It didn’t take long for him to get desperate enough to speed up, starting a punishing pace that forced little breaths and sounds out of you with each thrust. 

Once you started moaning, a smug smirk took over his face. “See? You would’ve been screaming and crying if not for my compassion.” He said, feigning concern. He reached up to unbuckle the gag and let it drop to the floor before adding, “What do you say?” 

“T-Thank you.” You choked out, voice hoarse from moaning and crying all night. 

“Try again.” He ordered with a sharp smack on your ass, forcing a strangled sob from you. 

“Thank you.. master…” The way you trailed off made it sound like a question, but he decided to let it slide this time and focus on fucking you. 

“Good girl.” He groaned, speeding up. “You’re exactly what I wanted, bitch. You still have some fight left in you, but it doesn’t take much to beat you into submission.” He chuckled, imagining all the ways he could force you to submit if you were ever disobedient. He was so excited to see your pretty skin covered in bruises, welts, scratches, bite marks, cuts— everything. He also made a mental note to brand you soon since he was now completely certain that you were the perfect slave he’s been searching for.  

The wet sounds of your pussy were obscene as he fucked you hard and fast, trying to savor his first time fucking you, but unable to hold back because of how good you felt squeezing his cock. 

“God- I’m already close.” He groaned, already deciding to do another breeding session in a couple hours, instead of waiting until tomorrow. “Your cunt feels fucking incredible.” You whined, but the way you clamped down on his cock was unmistakable. 

“Mark the day, pet. You’re going to officially be my breeding slave in a few minutes.” He smiled, making you stiffen, then start thrashing. 

“No!” You yelled, trying uselessly to escape the restraints. 

“Don’t pretend like you didn’t know what you were being sold for.” He scoffed. “You underwent the fertility treatment, didn’t you?” 

“Please— please don’t..” You sobbed, still trying to break free. 

“This is happening, cunt.” He growled bitterly. “I paid for a slave that would give me an heir and that’s exactly what you are.” 

“Please pull out!” You cried, becoming hysterical. Jackson groaned, feeling his orgasm rapidly approaching as you continued begging and sobbing. 

“Keep fucking crying, bitch. It only turns me on more.” He said with a dark chuckle. This was exactly what he wanted; some fight. He didn’t want a broken, docile slave who took his abuse willingly. He wanted a slave who still had hope that this wasn’t her new reality, and you were still clinging to that desperately. 

His hips stuttered for a moment, then he slammed in with a grunt, fully sheathing his cock inside you. Your pussy fluttered around his twitching length, greedily taking his come despite yourself. You were crying almost violently now, babbling out senseless pleas for him to stop, but it was too late. 

When his orgasm finally faded, he panted for a few seconds, then slowly withdrew his cock. It slipped free with a wet squelch and he quickly walked over to grab the internal vibrator he bought for you. He pushed it in, keeping you plugged up, then took off all the restraints and lifted you upright. You stumbled when he dragged you over to the bed, then whimpered when he threw you down onto it. 

He started with your wrists, tying them to each corner of the bed. Then he pushed your legs up and bent you in half, letting him tie your ankles to the headboard, keeping your cunt angled up a little bit so that his come could have a chance to take. 

He stood back to admire you for a moment before remembering the last detail. You watched him walk over to grab a cloth of some kind, then you tried to turn your head away when he moved to tie it around you as a gag, but it was no use. 

“There we go.” He smiled proudly. “Now, I have some work that needs to get done before our next breeding session so you’re going to be a good little slave and stay right here.” He chuckled at his choice of words. When he turned on the internal vibrator, you screamed around the cloth and squeezed your eyes shut, feeling far too sensitive after the rough fucking. “See you in a few hours for round two, pet.” 

[thesuperiorrobin]

𝐈𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥~

Pairing: Husband!Damian Wayne x Wife!Reader

Word count: 759

Warning: suggestive at the very end

People know you and Damian belong together, no doubt about it. With making your relationship public and years later your marriage, which was also the talking gossip around Gotham for a month or two, everyone knows. But some people are too stubborn to the fact, you learn that very early in your relationship when women would just throw themselves at your lover's arm clinging to him as he tries to pray them off with an annoying expression, thinking that the son of Bruce Wayne would have the same Playboy persona just like his father, but they’re wrong forgetting the Damian Wayne is in fact, the most loyal man when it had came down to your dating and now marriage.

He would rather be with you than any other woman on earth, and for some, it was hard to face reality. You’re grown used to it over the years. But sometimes it just grows a spark inside of you. Much like tonight, in the Wayne manor that now belongs to the two of you. After Bruce’s retirement, it’s now Damian’s job to throw those galas and charity events, much to his dismay.

Secretly you do the work because he wasn’t given the gift of organization at all. So now you stand back, watching everyone. Happy with the way the nights going as you sip on your glass of champagne, it’s different front the rest. Damian thinks you deserve better than the champagne and wine that’s given out to the others. You spot his brothers in the crowd and other familiar faces that belong to a few close friends. The last face you spot was your husband, chatting away with men from his workplace. A forced smile on his face. It makes you chuckle, as a kid he hated them, and even as an adult he still does. But it’s more tolerable, well kinda.

You spot a random woman stumbling towards the ground of men, obviously sober as she tries to act intoxicated for the hell of it. She leaps for Damian’s arm that’s on his side, ignoring the one that holds his drink. He doesn’t shake her off, instead, he lets out a fake laugh along with the others around him.

That’s new you thought.

This went on for more than ten minutes which was a surprise. Normally it would’ve taken him less than five to shake them off, but instead, he’s standing there letting it happen. Which was a surprise. They’re having conversations, sometimes other people would chime in here and there.

Damian says something you can’t hear, and the woman laughs, giggling loudly to the point where you can hear her from the other side of the room. She laughs like it was the funniest thing she’s heard all night.

The horrendous laughter dies down, and she stares. Directly at you. She stares at you with a sly grin that paints her red lips. You frown and glare, gripping your glass. Almost breaking it until one of the servants comes up to you and offers you another drink, which you gladly take without a second thought.

The glare you send is hard, most people can sense it, the chilling aura that spills from you. Damian’s quick to sense it, he’s good at it, with a quick look towards you as you stare down at his arm— he gives you a genuine grin. He shakes off the women.

“Apologies. My presence is needed elsewhere” he gives a side eye down “with my wife” The woman was not happy, pouting as he watched her target leave her sight. But she puts on a facade and leaves, probably off to find another arm to cling on.

There’s a shit-eating grin plaster on his face when he walks up to you, and all you could do is roll your eyes—taking a big sip out of your drink in your hand.

“Zawjati?” he called out “Why are you here all by yourself?”

“You just seemed a little busy with your groups of friends” you hum “I didn’t want to ruin it”

The grin on his face softens, arm stretched out towards you, and you take his warm hand without a second thought. “Don’t be jealous” he chuckles “Everyone knows I’m all yours”

“Why would I be jealous?” You scuff, he was right but you would never admit that to his face. You lean into him closer, bringing him down to your level—lips brushing up against his ear “When I’m the one that ends up taking you straight to the bedroom right after every time”

[graywaynewriter]

NSFW aphabet for Dick?👀👀

Warning: the following headcannons contain 18+ content. Include describes in nsfw acts and details and some language. Read at your own discretions ⚠️

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I definitely see him as someone who’s very attentive when it comes to aftercare. And I can include anything from making you something to eat, or running you a shower, or just putting on your favorite movie afterwards, but he is very detailed oriented so I think, depending on how the sex ones also determine What he provides as aftercare just based on what you would usually ask for

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

We have all seen Dick Grayson’s ass before. There is no doubt that this man focuses on his glutes more than anything. However, I will say that he also really likes his back. Of course, this is based on any concept, art or comic book panels that I have seen and what I think has the most detailed and most muscle mass on it.

On you, I think he is definitely a boob, kind of guy, but also a stomach guy. My stomach I mean it’s something that he can touch, caress, hold, squeeze, kiss, rest his head on. He can give you so much affection on this area of course it’s probably one of his number one things to go for. On top of that whenever you decide to ride him, he hold onto one of two things your stomach/waist area and he just kind of caresses the skin and he holds you in place. Or of course, he will be sucking and kissing and looking on your boobs as well.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I think he is too loving and too nice to come on your body, so he will either do it in a condom or inside of you. Whichever one you guys are going for he’ll do. Now unless you specifically ask him to finish somewhere on your body he won’t do it, but he does prefer to come inside of you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He is a panty, stealer and sniffer. Sometimes you’ll be over at his place or sometimes he’ll be over at your place. Whatever underwear left unattended that has already been worn by you. He’ll snatch up so fast. And eventually, if he does have a night alone, he will rub one out while his nose is deep in your panties

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

At this point in life Dick has heard a good handful of experience. Of course, have you seen this man? He’s had a couple women in his bed so he definitely knows what he’s doing. And yes, he knows where the clit is.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He either has you and doggy, on top, or missionary. But remember this man is strong so he will also just take you standing and him holding you up.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Although he doesn’t do it as often he does crack a joke or too, or make some kind of pun. Because sometimes you guys just passionately go at it other times it’s slow and you take your time and that’s most likely when he would crack a joke or a pun or laugh because of some kind of noise that happened

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Judging by the fact that he has to wear spandex I think he keeps himself well groomed. He keeps it either short or shaved completely. However, after seeing it a couple times completely bald he just leaves a short cut on it instead of completely bald.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Grayson either fucks or he makes love to you. Of course, whichever one is most appropriate in the moment, but when he is romantic, you truly feel it. The way he speaks to softly the way he literally makes love to you in the softest, most gentle way possible. He’ll even like candles and litter the room with rose petals. He’ll even go as far as to making your favorite dish for dinner. He may have burned to the first time, but that’s why he bought back up.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

So like I said before he does sniff your panties when he jerks himself off. I do think he’s too used to having sex with you and would prefer that. I want to say he does it on nights that he just goes home after a long patrols or a long mission and if he’s in the mood, he’ll just go right at it. And that is why you once found a pair of your undies underneath his pillow when you had slept over.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding kink

Some very light choking

Hair pulling

And I do think he has a thing for hearing you beg him to do what you want him to do to you

Semi public sex

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Obviously in his bed or your bed/your shared bed. Of course you guys have had some public moments where you may have been on the roof top of the building and it was a lot hotter than you both anticipated.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Literally just looking at you. There was once a time where he had gotten up and you were in the kitchen making breakfast wearing a pair of his boxers and one of his shorts. He said they stared at you for about two minutes before he went over, turned off the stove and carried you back to the room.

However, if you are training with him and somehow get him pinned underneath you, he also gets a hard on for reasons he cannot explain

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He definitely does not want to inflict pain on you. Well, he may spank you. He doesn’t do it to the point where your flesh will turn red. Definitely no cheating, or anything where he causes physical harm to you or discomfort.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He likes receiving and he also likes giving. However, he does turn things into a competition so when you did try to 69, he desperately was trying to make you finish before he did.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on the situation, but he can go either way. But his preferred one is slow and sensual because not only does a few more intimate, but he can also just hear you beg him to give it to you harder or faster.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t mind a quickie, but as said above, he does prefer something more sensual and slow, but he isn’t opposed to it if it’s what you want or if it’s what he means

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

It would take a lot of convincing from your side for him to do something risky. Like how you had once had sex on top of a building and he was worried that Batman was going to fly overhead in one of his expensive machines and see you guys.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can more or less grow for two or three rounds. Or one very long round

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He has and you were the one to find it. And he’s hrs a pocket pussy 😭. But he is open to using toys when he’s with you if that’s what you’d like

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

On a scale of 1-10, he is a 7.5. Because when he teases he prolongs it 😭

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

More of a groaner but! If he’s really getting into it he does have pretty moans, not too loud but if someone was in the next room while it goes rough, they’d definitely hear it

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He gets super hard just off dirty talk and when you use THAT voice.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Hes about 7.5 inches, about medium girth, light pink tip. He has a slight upward curve

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It really does depend on how much is in his plate during the day/week but on a normal day he’s got a decent sex drive

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Takes about an hour

[howtotrainabraincell]

Head cannons bc I can - Assassin’s body parts preferences (and extras...)

AN: I would just like to say that ALL of the Assassin's will protect their love with their lives, not standing for any disrespect or rudeness toward her in any way shape or form. I may not have put it in the description of every Assassin, but it goes without saying. ALSO, plz don't @ me bc this is my first ever spicy post lol

Altair Ibn La’Ahad - loves burying his face in her neck and grabbing her backside cheekily lol, loves bathing with her but won’t deny that’s it’s hard to control himself around her naked body. Comes to her after a mission (if they didn't go on it together that is or if she's not an assassin) to hold her and just melts against her, grateful to have her and be back in her arms alive. Pulls her away ever so often to a corner where he'll kiss her breathless and then just walk off like nothing happened (this man-), loves to chase lol if she runs from him, it sets something deep and primal off in him, and when he eventually catches her? 😳😳😳

Shay Patrick Cormac - definitely breasts lol and has a thing for waists, also loves thighs & has a thing for kissing from the top of her foot to the inside of her thighs, this man can pick up grown soldiers, flip them over his shoulder and then just toss them to the ground like it nothing so he’s strong - tell.me he doesn’t pick up his love and carry her off for some alone time. She won't have to worry about anyone on the Morrigan getting any ideas because Shay has made it VERY clear that she's his and his only. He'll legit fight for her if someone makes her uncomfortable or harasses her and make them regret the day they were born (that is if they can even think afterward bc they'll probably be dead). It - depending on the mood he's in - makes him feel very loved and cared for or very turned on and ready to pin her down, when she kisses the scar over his eye. Don't even get me started on how naughty this fricken man is in Irish Gaelic. (Sir! Control thyself!)

Edward Kenway - an ass man for sure and he loves the thighs too, stands behind her and glares at anyone who checks her out from his spot behind her where he’ll press a possessive kiss to her shoulder while glaring at them. Why do I have feeling that this man has a thing for women who can shoot guns? If she shoots a gun in front of him all pirate-esque he'll literally beg her to step on him haha. Loves him a mouthy feisty woman because not only does it turn.him.on, he gets a kick out of a lovely woman being able to blow someone out of the water with her insults & statements of self-defense. Will also waylay anyone who disrespects her, he'll actually feed them their teeth (don't test him with her)

Jacob Ethan Frye - both the man’s bi lol he can have both if he wants, he for sure does playful butt pats and grabs occasionally but usually when they’re alone (USUALLY & if a Rook bore witness? THEY SAW NOTHING), definitely into holding his love on his lap and whispering dirty things in her ear to fluster her. Will fight to protect her and God help them because they'll have him and the Rooks to deal with (that is if Jacob doesn't crush them and turn them into dust that blows away in the wind lol). Also loves him a feisty and mouthy woman, if she's sarcastic, witty and goofy on top of that? This man is more whipped than whipped cream. Total gentleman even if she can hand his ass to him on a silver platter, he still treats her with utmost respect. Enjoys lying in bed with her and cuddling (give the man all the cuddles STAT) lazily playing with her hair and believe it not - not all kissing with the amorous assassin leads to *wink wink*. He genuinely enjoys laying there with her on a slow day and kissing her sweetly, over and over again. Man is a genuine romantic sweetheart (and nothing will change my mind). It's not an odd occurrence for Evie to wonder where her younger brother is, only to find him conked out on his love's chest just peacefully snoozing away as she holds him reading a book or some files. Totally see him tracing his fingers down her sternum until he reaches her breasts and tracing the insides of them to get her riled up (if he's feeling mean he'll even give a cheeky kiss haha). Also loves to chase her across rooftops and make bets of a spicier nature...

Evie Frye - loves to kiss her loves hands & jaw (particularly that one little spot…) and trace kisses down her sternum, has a habit of cornering her and making out with her lol then she just goes on about her day like nothing happened, plays footsies underneath table surfaces (CHANGE MY MIND). Loves all of her and honestly don't think she would have a preference, Evie's just grateful to have her at all and be with her. Woman was dedicated to being alone as a result of being in the Brotherhood. Think she would get a kick out of witty and playful banter, the more her love speaks the more in love she falls and the more she desires her. She's good with her hands. I said it. Sue me. She.has.good.hands. The woman tis skilled (in more ways than one...) This also pertains to corsets and buttons whether it be doing them or undoing them... Kind think she would like chasing her love through the city too and if it ends up in a garden? The woman internally swoons.

Kassandra of Sparta - breasts she likes pulling her love against her and then looking down to see them pressed against her armor being gorgeous as usual and she loves to grab hips, she will CUT Alcibiades if he looks at her love lol bc she KNOWS what he's thinking about, only lets her hair down around her love and adores laying in between her thighs while her fingers give her a head a very relaxing massage (seriously they can put the woman to sleep lol)

Ratonhnhake:ton/Connor Kenway - I think we can all agree that this sweet man isn't very sexual BUT once he settles down, he does have an appreciation for his loves figure. Loves to hover over her from behind and kiss the top of her head, and when things get more intimate between them, he loves to give her kisses all over her face. Flowers with him would be a common occurrence, often times she wakes up to beautiful wildflowers on her bedside table or on the pillow beside her. This man is a good provider. And if she takes an interest in hunting with him, more than a few times he'll briefly lose interest in hunting the animal and playfully hunting her instead... Feel like he strokes her legs lovingly and takes his time exploring the sexual feelings he has for her. He would love her breasts because they're beautiful, soft and full of life.

Alexios of Sparta - ass for sure he seems like a butt smacker haha she’ll be minding her own business when he comes out of nowhere and gives her a light loving smack. He comes up behind her and literally sweeps her off her feet - no pleasantries, just "you're mine now" lol

Haytham Kenway - breasts has a thing for tracing the tops of them when she wears dresses to get her riled up all while delivering an “innocent” kiss to her flaming red cheek, will randomly stoop to her level to whisper something 😳 in her ear. Get a vibe that he would spoil her with beautiful jewelry and then woo her until it's the only thing she has on, before taking her to bed... Morning sex seems like the norm for him because he's not always there when she falls asleep arriving home late, but when he sees her in the morning, he more than makes it up to her and greets her in very steamy manner. He reminds her to remain neutral when she stands next to him during a meeting as he sits down with his hand hidden by her dress on her backside gently squeezing and acting completely casual about it the cheeky -

Desmond Miles - breasts & when Shaun stresses him out, he presses his head into them lol it’s stress relieving, comes up behind her and hugs her tightly, definitely into spooning he likes the physical contact, and he melts when she kisses his forehead. Before everything he screwed, but now with the woman he loves? He makes love and thoroughly enjoys every second of it with her. Having her by his side through everything means more to him than he can express.

Arno Victor Dorian - this man feels like a worshipper he would love all of her body and take his time with her, but he does tend to go for breasts more coming out of nowhere and kissing the tops of them reverently throughout the day, definitely takes her hand in his and kisses it with full eye contact to the point where it makes her blush, earning a chuckle from him. Tell me that this man doesn't pull her away to corners throughout the day or on a mission and kiss her before walking away casually like nothing happened lol. Got a feeling he's very into whisking his love away just getting her attention and pulling her away to wherever they can have a few moments alone together. Good kisser. I refuse to believe anything else. He swoops in gives a sweet kiss that leaves her flustered, and he stands there watching her with a smile on his face. For some reason I think he's into the whole secret lover rendezvous thing, aka coming in through his love's window or meeting her secretly (it's exciting and he gets her all alone...)

Ezio Auditore Da Firenze - also feels like a worshipping type of man except everywhere, everything, all the time lol, but he does have a preference for breasts often times hugging his love around the waist and burying his face in them. We've all seen how this man has thing for pinning his lady to the wall...do with it what you will. But he does it to her and OFTEN lol. A little more promiscuous in public - stopping of course if she gets uncomfortable - than others and is not afraid to show how he feels about her. Also, a good kisser. I mean COME ON.

Bayek of Siwa - he loves her breasts because beneath them lies her heart and he cherishes the fact that she has given it to him, loves to star gaze with her - they lay there together peacefully as he tells her about the constellations and their meaning. Loves bathing with her just laying back and relaxing, eyes roving her form as she cleans him and gives him a shave (he refuses to shave unless she does it for him bc he loves her touch and how great her handiwork is). Gives the kinds of kisses that melt her like a stick of butter lol, a kiss from him has a lot of emotion poured into it telling without words how much he loves her.

[fic-dumpster]

Deer in headlights | Short stories: Public disturbance

1k+ words || Bonten x Reader

fluff mostly, typical shenanigans, no beta and not edited, commas placed everywhere, tried to write it as gender-neutral as possible, let me know if I missed anything.

The thing about going shopping with Bonten is not the unnecessary stuff they buy nor the amount of attention they get; it's the bathroom. Every time you have to go to a public place, they don't let you go alone.

How many times have you heard women shriek in terror because you didn't notice Sanzu or Rindou following you inside the ladies’ washroom? The worst part was that they were surprised and asked what was wrong like it was the most normal thing to do, and they weren’t doing something inappropriate.

That's why you’re pulling Kokonoi with you. He's not going to intimidate the women occupying the bathroom, at least not like the other four waiting at the nearest bench. Takeomi, Sanzu, Kakucho, and Rindou remained with all the shopping bags there. Kokonoi could pass unnoticeable.

After buying some things and drinking three iced teas, of course, your bladder would be full, and you’ll have no other choice but to go with someone. Mikey and his orders about your safety. It’s not like the rest didn't agree with him.

Two doors and a lock later, you are in a stall with Kokonoi. The latter refused to turn around.

“Koko, just turn; I can't pee like this,” you grumbled.

“No, It’s weird to stare at the door,” Kokonoi replied.

“Then close your eyes!” But you didn't mean it like that because he did close his eyes, but the idiot didn't turn around.

You peed, staring at Kokonoi, who was trying to hold back his smile.

“See, it wasn't that bad,” Kokonoi said as he dried your hands together with his under one of those automatic air dryers, “you always make such a fuss.”

“Why do I feel you enjoy this,” you murmured, ignoring the previous statement.

And you were right. A wicked side smile adorned his face. Kokonoi basked in the privilege of being able to be alone with you, handpicked by you, only you, while the rest drowned in jealousy. Except for Sanzu. He was drowning in a strawberry and banana frappe, angrily slurping the chunks of frozen fruit that weren't properly triturated.

“Where are they? Kokonoi is taking too long with Y/N,” spat the Sanzu, suspecting the worst, “I bet my left sack that he’s having se-”

“A line in the bathroom? That happens often,” intruded Takeomi as he remembers a time when he had to take Senju to the bathroom. Why do women take so long? Internally wondered the scarred man.

Rindou and Kakucho groaned from carrying the most bags out of them and they also followed Sanzu’s line of thoughts. Three out of four men sighed in unison.

All laments were put to a halt by Takeomi’s phone ring. The screen showed Kokonoi’s name, and an unpleasant feeling stuck in the older man’s gut. It only worsened as soon as he picked up and heard your screams of desperation.

“Help!!! Takeomi!!!!!! I need your help!! It’s an emergency!!” you didn't give Takeomi time to ask any questions. You blurted out your location and ended the call after screaming for him to hurry.

Takeomi didn't notice the other three men present had leaned over to hear the conversation, and not a second later, Sanzu, Rindou, and Kakucho dashed towards the place you mentioned over the phone, leaving Takeomi with all the shopping bags, alone.

“Hurry up, Y/N needs-” Turning around, Takeomi realized he was talking to none but shopping bags. “Bastards.”

“I can't believe you snatched my phone for that,” Kokonoi massaged his temples, already expecting the dumbasses to show up guns blazing in the middle of a shopping mall after your call for help.

“But I am out of battery, and it's an emergency!!” you said.

“I don't think this qualifies as an emergency,” sighed Kokonoi as he eyed the crowd around him and the stage with colorful lights. “Besides, how are the rest supposed to find us?”

On cue, Sanzu’s obviously loud call of your name could be heard above the tumult of people. Kokonoi had to give them credit; that was pretty fast. He could recognize the pink mane not too far from where he stood and Rindou’s purple head too.

“Koko, do you see them?!” you grabbed his sleeves with urgency. “I can’t see! Let me—” You used him as a ladder, climbing until your eyes could see above the crowd.

Rolling his eyes, Kokonoi let you do as you pleased. What else was he supposed to do? Once your head popped up from above the crowd, you enthusiastically waved at the trio, beckoning them over. As soon as they were close enough to touch you, Sanzu, Rindou, and Kakucho surrounded Kokonoi, who was attempting to hold you in his arms, and began inspecting every inch of skin they could reach.

“You seem fine,” said Sanzu, holding your face in between his palms, pressing your cheeks until your lips puckered like a fish.

“Becaushh I am,” you mumbled with your fish lips, “pleash let my cheekshh go.”

Sanzu couldn't help but coo at you, and without any warnings, he planted little pecks on your lips, making Kokonoi frown, he sat first row for the PDA show.

“Enough! That's enough!” Shouted Rindou, prying Sanzu’s hands away from your face as Kokonoi moved with you still in his arms, separating you both. Kakucho stood there, watching Sanzu and Rindou fight while Kokonoi scolded Sanzu from afar.

“Have you no self-control?!” screamed Kokonoi.

“Like any of you have any when it comes to Y/N!” Sanzu defended himself.

“That’s true,” acknowledged Kakucho.

Everyone talking loudly on top of each other.

As the scene transpired, none noticed the circle of people who observed the whole thing. Some murmured about a lovers’ quarrel, while others about a kidnapping, and debated whether they should call security.

You, on the other hand, remembered why you called them in the first place.

Ah, right. You needed a charger. But none was paying attention to you, hanging like a chihuahua in Koko’s arms.

Not a minute later, security appeared and escorted everyone out for causing a public disturbance.

Takeomi watched the minutes pass by on a TV screen near the bench you all left him. With all the bags and now his own phone without battery, He wondered when would you all come back to pick up all the shopping bags.

[flowerandblood]

The Lost Haven (13/16)

[ modern mafia • Aemond x niece • female ]

[ warnings: incest obviously, unprotected sex content, kind of hate sex too, oral sex, fingering, smut, the angst, drug dealing, violence, uncomfortable conversations, bad, bad things ]

[ description: The vacation from eight years ago still haunts his memories and doesn't let him forget what happened between him and his niece, the daughter of his sister and Harwin Strong. Their paths separate and he immerses himself in his father's mafia world until the day she calls him for the first time since those events. Sexual tension, dark, dangerous, withdrawn, thirsty Aemond. ]

Author’s note: As promised, this is another, this time official modern version of The Fall from the Heavens. In this version, Daemon is not related to the family, but is simply Rhaenyra's husband and the leader of the second gang, Alys and Larys are also not related to each other, but Larys is Harwin's brother. I will partly refer to the original series, hiding some easter eggs, and some will be a completely new, fresh plot. As in every universe, only Aemond calls her Rhaenys and this is not her real name (she is unnamed character and the others also do not know that he calls her that). There will be a lot more brutality and angst in this version, so watch out. You can read this as a standalone story.

Series & Characters Moodboard Aemond & Rhaenys Moodboard

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

He didn't know why he had taken her to Heavenly Beach that day. When he thought about it afterwards, it was clear to him that it was sheer madness, the danger he had put her in by how afraid he was.

He was terrified of what his people thought of him, terrified of how they would look at him after he had shot his own brother and fled, after Aegon had suggested that he had raped their niece, after he had declared to everyone that they were actually in a relationship.

For some reason, her words about how once they appeared there together the reasons for gossip would also end calmed him down, although not for long: as soon as they stepped inside the club he regretted his decision.

Everyone's eyes were on them, or rather on her, seeing her as his toy, his whore, his momentary entertainment, his deviation that he had given vent to. With the touch of his hand on her back and shoulders he tried to remind her of his presence, he knew, however, that he had dragged her down and that there was no turning back now.

Once they sat down, once his men looked at her, he understood what he had actually done: he had exposed her, shown her to the world as something that belonged to him, his whim, a stab in the back for Daemon.

They didn't know what she knew, didn't know him as a child, that boy she played with by the sea.

He never laughed or smiled in their presence, never let anyone touch him, and the women he fucked had the same value to him as his car or a packet of cigarettes.

That is why he knew that the sight of his niece sinking into sleep from fatigue, snuggled up against his chest, was to them merely a sign of his childish excess, as if he had stolen a precious jewel from someone's collection and was now bragging about the very fact that he possessed it.

Taking a drag on his cigarette, staring dully ahead, involuntarily stroking her back with his free hand, listening to what Cole was saying to him, he wasn't sure what was better.

As long as they didn't know how deep his feelings were, they couldn't consider her as a weapon they would be able to use against him.

On the other hand, he couldn't allow them to treat her like one of the many women he fucked in the dirty toilet between one meeting and the next; he couldn't allow them to disrespect her, or worse, mock her behind her back.

To his frustration, Floris kept staring at him, fiddling with her necklace in an apparent attempt to draw his attention to her breasts: he regretted letting her suck him off once when she found him alone in one of the private rooms, regretted that for that simple relief a few months ago he now had to feel disgusted with himself, guessing that she thought his niece was as much his lover as she was.

Bullshit.

When at last everything was settled and he ordered everyone to leave them alone, he could look at her, her calm face plunged into sleep. He shook her lightly and combed her hair with his fingers, her eyelids lifting lazily, looking up at him dreamily.

"– we'll sleep here in my office and drive back to the hotel in the morning – okay? –" He whispered, feeling that when he spoke to her he was a different person.

As if he had a split personality.

His girlfriend nodded like a small child and he took her in his arms, grabbing her under her buttocks and letting her wrap her arms around his neck, walking with her down the back of the club towards the corridor where the staff rooms and his office were.

He locked them in there, wanting to make sure no one got in, and laid her down on the couch. He watched her delicate figure in thoughtfulness as he pulled his leather jacket off his shoulders, turned off the light and covered their bodies with the material, cuddling into her from behind, his hands enclosed on her breasts.

He loved how plump and soft they were under his fingers.

"– sleep – you're safe with me –" He whispered in her ear and felt her hands clamp down on his arms, holding him close, her voice like a sigh.

"– you're my Hades – and I'm your Persephone – that's how I see us –"

He froze, shocked by her words, while at the same time feeling himself grow hot: he couldn't believe how perfect a metaphor this was for their relationship.

Like him, Hades had abducted his niece, his brother's daughter, and imprisoned her in his World of the Dead.

Like him, Hades gave his wife a new name.

Rhaenys.

"– Persephone –"

He fell asleep rather quickly, tired both mentally and physically, however his dreams did not allow him to experience much rest: he dreamt that he had kidnapped her from her mother and descended with her into a dark basement, locking her in, despite her cries and despair turning the lock, thinking she would be safe with him.

He opened his eyes, terrified, when the alarm clock on his phone woke him – he rose from his seat with her, finding the switch from the lamp in complete darkness, and ran his hand over his face, thinking that he had to find a way for her not to be his hostage or prisoner.

He wanted her to be with him and he wanted her to be safe, but not at the expense of her freedom.

But how was he supposed to accomplish that?

That he didn't know.

"– I need to get a coffee at some station –" He muttered once they were in the car, starting the engine, feeling himself falling asleep in his seat. His girlfriend agreed with him and they were both silent most of the way, immersed in their thoughts.

He wondered what could be a way out of this difficult situation, proof that he didn't care about the influence he could wield over Daemon thanks to her or about making her his slave, only that she was his friend, the confidante of his secrets, his weaknesses and his worries.

And suddenly it dawned on him.

A state wedding was out of the question, because incest was illegal, but he remembered well in history situations where religious marriages had taken place between couples like them among the aristocracy in order to secure the family's fortune, they had, however, to obtain a dispensation for it.

What if they had succeeded in doing so?

If they could marry in church, be husband and wife before God?

This thought excited him so much that he felt he didn't need any more coffee, he decided, however, that he had an excellent idea where he could ask her opinion on the subject.

All he needed was an object with which to seal their decision if her answer to his fucked-up plan turned out to be positive.

Among the lollipops and sweets standing right next to the cash register, he spotted the candy bracelets that had been very popular when they were young children. He decided it might not be a ring, but it was always something, and he had no other alternative anyway.

He thought that she, of all people in the world, would appreciate his creative ingenuity.

"– look how many lollipops you have, a whole lot to choose from – I'll buy you some if you want –" He murmured, embracing her from behind, placing a soft, warm kiss on her cheek. His niece smiled broadly, snuggling into his body with a fondness from which he grew hot.

"– strawberry –" She said, and he smiled under his breath, glancing at the cashier who was waiting for them to place their order.

"– I'll have coffee, tea, two sandwiches, this strawberry lollipop and this candy bracelet –"

As they continued on their way he followed the signs to the location of the property he had inherited from his father: the notary had given him the keys to it, and although at first he felt like just throwing them out of the window, now he was glad he kept them in his trouser pocket.

"– where are we going? – you need to turn back –" Her mumbling snapped him out of his reverie, and when he glanced at her he saw that she was pale and terrified, looking at him with big eyes exactly as she had when she had woken up in his room.

She was afraid that he had deceived her again, that he would hurt her again.

He felt pain and shame at the thought, so he shook his head quickly and grasped her hand in his, wanting to reassure her.

"– no – no, baby, easy – we'll go back to the hotel, but later – there's one place I want to visit on the way – nothing bad, I promise –" He said, squeezing her fingers in his, and she didn't say another word to him, tense until she spotted the sea shoreline.

When they got out of the car he simply watched as she moved ahead of him, pulling off her shoes to sink her feet into the sand. He felt a tightness in his throat seeing her silhouette against the rising sun, thinking with regret that he had lost so many years in which he had dreamed of this moment, of them explaining everything to each other, of them talking calmly, of them being supportive of each other again.

He realised that because of her, and only because of her, that part of him from eight years ago had been preserved in his heart, the little boy locked in one of the white shells she had collected then, his hopeless attempt to prove to himself that he would see her again one day.

He moved behind her lazily, feeling the tears burning under his eyelids, the crisp sea breeze filling his lungs wonderfully – he tilted his head back, feeling strangely calm and free at the thought of what he wanted to do.

He was no longer pretending, either to himself or to her.

The way his arms embraced her from behind, the way his nose sank into her soft cheek, looking ahead at the infinite horizon, seemed so startlingly natural to him that it was even painful, the realisation that for years he had been running from this, from her, from what they could have.

"– in my fantasies, I always imagined that I would take you here again – that I would be standing with you, as I am now, watching the sun rise –" He said, smiling, letting a single tear of sadness run down his cheek, a sign of how tired and scared he was, how two parts of him were breaking him in half, unable to form one whole.

How can one destroy and create at the same time?

How can you create a healthy, happy, peaceful relationship in an environment where everything is toxic, where everyone is unhappy, where there is perpetual tension and anticipation of the next blow?

"– have you often thought about what we have lost here? –" He heard her soft, quiet voice and swallowed hard, returning his thoughts to her again, to the loud sound of the waves and the squeaking of the seagulls over their heads.

Did he often think of that?

His figure huddled in his bed, the pain in his skull after surgery so excruciating that he could only lie down and cry. The thought that he would have to wear an artificial eye, that he would have a scar on his face, that he would be disgusting made him feel like dying. He longed for her to be by his side, his friend who would know what to say, or not say anything at all but hug him, lock him in the warm embrace of her arms, letting him calm down.

His head lowered as he walked down the corridor of his school, feeling the stares of others on him, his desire to disappear, to blend into the background, to not exist. He thought that if she had been by his side, if she had chatted him up as usual, comforted him with her cheerful laughter, if she had distracted him, maybe he would have felt better, at least for a moment.

His naked body as he lay on the couch in one of the staff rooms after telling the girl he'd just banged to get the fuck out of his club, tears running down his face one after another even though his lips were clamped into a thin line. She had similar hair, similar eyes, similar figure, but her voice was different, her smell was different, her touch was different, so frustratingly foreign, unwanted, disgusting.

He looked down at her hands, his thumb running over her wrist along her scar that reminded him every day of what he had done to her.

To his friend.

"– relentlessly - it was like torture – thinking of hundreds of scenarios – what would have happened if I hadn't been your uncle, if my father hadn't been submerged in all that shit, if I hadn't lost an eye then, if Rhaenyra hadn't taken you away from there that day –" He said with a grief so deep that he felt a sting in his stomach, as if someone had stuck the tip of a knife there.

She looked at him, in her eyes everything he had always wanted: tenderness, care, comfort, affection. He leaned in and kissed her forehead, her wonderful, familiar scent filling his lungs, causing his heart to beat harder in his chest in delight.

"– I took you from your mother – I forced you to sink into the darkness with me –" He whispered, not knowing how to apologise to her for what he had indirectly forced her to do, what he had condemned her to by not being able to forget her.

"– it was my choice this time –" She said calmly, and he froze, looking at her in disbelief.

There was not a shadow of regret, shame, pain, sadness in her voice and gaze.

It suddenly occurred to him that the reason he loved her so much was that she was always able to understand him, to see behind the curtain of his words their meaning, his hidden signals that he could not otherwise make out.

He never had to pretend to be anyone in front of her, because there was no need for it: he knew that she would never humiliate him or make him sad just to hurt him.

She was full of values he cherished.

She made it so that while he was a monster he never stopped being human.

"– I want to be the father of your children – I want us to be a family – to have a home – a future –" He said in a trembling voice and knelt down slowly feeling his heart pounding like mad, thinking with fear that she would call him stupid and irresponsible, that she would refuse having every right to do so.

"– Aemond, what are you –" She uttered, but he interrupted her, afraid of what she wanted to say.

His intentions were pure, driven only by his desire that they could be together forever.

"– I want it, Rhaenys – fuck, I've always wanted it – I don't give a shit about this country, about the law, about morality, about good manners, about how and why we're related –" He mouthed with difficulty, feeling himself whooping, tears of desperation and fear welled up in his eyelids.

He felt small, he felt pathetic, he felt vulnerable, but he knew that she would never use that to harm him, that he could be that way with her, that she was his refuge, his haven.

"– but if I pay the right people, if we get a dispensation, we can have a religious marriage, the one in the church – I don't give a damn if I have to bribe the Pope himself and all the cardinals in the Vatican, I don't care how long it takes – please –" He gasped, clasping his fingers around her waist, snuggling his face into her belly, afraid to look into her eyes, afraid of what he would see there, like a child wanting to escape the consequences of his act if it turned out that she wasn't ready for it.

After all, they had only been together a month after eight years of separation.

What did they know about each other?

Could she really understand what kind of life she would face at his side?

"– yes –"

He looked at her feeling a powerful shiver pass down his spine, his mouth wide open in a heavy breath.

Yes.

No questions, no conditions, no assumptions.

Yes.

"– do you mean it? –" He muttered, shocked, and she nodded, her cheeks red with shame.

"– we've completely lost our minds –" She mumbled, and he stood up quickly, feeling euphoria and joy begin to bubble through his veins, reaching into the pocket of his leather jacket.

She laughed warmly, watching as he clumsily placed a bracelet consisting of coloured candies on her wrist.

"– what? – they didn't have rings – I had a difficult task –" He muttered, pulling her close, her body bumping against his.

Her sweet face was full of hope and desire, tenderness and trust, everything he had so longed to see since he had seen her then, on that pier.

What happened next, the time spent in his house, the lazy, sticky sex in his bed, the exact one they had slept in together when they were children seemed to him to be just a dream.

He was sure he was about to wake up, to receive a phone call from his grandfather telling him that another person had not paid on time and should be admonished.

However, neither Rhaenyra's intervention, nor later his mother's, nor their family's displeasure in general, changed the fact that they had moved in together.

For exactly this reason, he doubled all security: his men guarded his flat day and night, even more so when he had to go out to do his business and she was left alone.

As he suspected, the usual thing of moving out was not free from drama: he and his niece had to go to her family home to get her things, because Daemon would not give permission for his men to go inside.

"So I'll go in there, Dad. I'll take book by book, and they'll be waiting here."

Daemon looked at her with rage, followed by Jace, Luke and Rhaenyra trying to reason with her daughter.

"What are you doing? Have you both completely lost your minds?" She asked in despair, but it seemed to him that neither he nor his niece was any longer impressed.

"These are my things. After all, I'm alive, I'm fine. I'm tired, I just want it all to be over now."

When her things were finally moved to his flat, as he had promised, his existing gym became her room, to which only she had a key: he wanted her to feel that she had a place to escape to when she didn't want to be with him, knowing that he wouldn't invade her space.

He hoped it would never come to that, but he wanted her to feel that she had an alternative, that being with him didn't mean living the way he would expect of her at the same time.

To his astonishment, their life when it was just the two of them was surprisingly peaceful.

They didn't argue – not like he was used to – her requests or opinions opposing him didn't provoke his aggression, because she was never aggressive towards him either.

He had always admired in her this combination of empathy and assertiveness, the simultaneous ability to understand him and to be mindful of her own needs and demands, which he tried to meet.

According to their agreement, in his absence she could go out wherever she wanted, but she had to be driven and brought back by his bodyguard: he wanted to be sure that no one would try to harm her or kidnap her to bargain with him.

Exactly as he had done when they wanted to teach Daemon a lesson.

She could only go out alone on walks with Vhagar – his dog quickly got used to her presence and became protective of her, so he knew that if anyone came near his fiancée, he would probably lose an arm or a leg.

However, nothing frightened him more than calls from her.

He always felt a rush of adrenaline and fear then, convinced that something had happened.

"What is it?" He asked as soon as he stepped out into the corridor, her quiet, slightly sleepy voice answering him on the other side a moment later.

"I woke up and you weren't in bed."

He swallowed hard, thinking with regret that he just didn't want to wake her.

There was nothing more difficult for him than to get out of her warm, safe embrace at night after a phone call that something had happened, that things needed to be explained to someone again, by persuasion or violence.

"I know. I'm sorry, baby. I didn't want to wake you up. I have to stay here for at least another hour."

"Why?"

He closed his eyes, on the one hand feeling impatient, on the other knowing perfectly well that he would go mad if he were in her place.

He had promised to tell her everything.

"I have a problem with one man. We are clarifying things, but he is…reluctant. He has taken a lot of money from me, but he has not given me what I need. I have to go. One more hour and I'll be back, I promise." He whispered, feeling a squeeze in his heart at the thought that it was no answer, that it sounded awful and pathetic, that she shouldn't have to hear it.

And yet.

"Oh. Okay." She muttered, and for some reason he felt tears under his eyelids and hung up, wondering what he was really condemning her to.

It wasn't until the blade of his pocket knife was pressed against his eye that the man by whom he had to leave his fiancée in a cold bed regained his sanity and told them where he kept the goods.

His men went there and indeed, the bags stuffed to the brim with cocaine satisfied his needs, at least for a while.

He could go home.

When he went inside he saw that the television was on in the living room: he took a few steps inside, terrified, and breathed out only when he saw her figure plunged into a deep sleep, lying on the sofa with the remote control in her hand, her eyes closed, her lips slightly parted in a quiet breath.

She was waiting for him.

She waited for him to return.

He glanced at his watch and closed his eyelids, seeing that he had not kept his word.

Although he had promised it would take him an hour, it took him three.

He sighed quietly, pulling off his shoes, putting them on the floor so as not to make any noise, and walked over to her: Vhagar lying by the couch only purred something and flicked her tail at the sight of him, sleeping on, he, however, leaned over his girl's figure, gently taking her in his arms, heading with her to their bedroom.

She shuddered and looked up at him with big eyes, terrified that someone had touched her, his lips placing a quick, apologetic, warm kiss on her forehead.

"– easy – it's just me, little one –" He whispered tenderly, looking into her eyes, laying down on the bed with her.

"– you promised –" She mumbled regretfully.

His eyebrows arched in pain at her words, his broad hand stroking her soft, warm cheek.

"– I know, baby – I know – I'm here now –"

Although he knew he should just embrace her and let her sleep, something in him wouldn't let him do that: his hands pulled his Tshirt, one of the many she liked to sleep in, from her body. She grunted in displeasure, tired and sleepy, when he did the same with her panties and his own clothes, leaning over her, completely naked.

His lips placed a soft kiss on her sternum, sliding down between her breasts, to her belly and lower abdomen, down to the soft skin of her silken womanhood. She sighed and shuddered as he took her hips in his hands and spread her legs apart, letting his face sink into her soft, warm folds, smelling of shower gel and her own arousal.

"– ah –" She gasped, writhing in front of him as the tip of his tongue ran over her hard, swollen bud, and then again and again, his thumb finding her throbbing entrance, already moist and eager, merely teasing her.

"– shhh –" He hushed her, moving his face lower, clinging with his lips to her dripping slit, kissing her as if he were kissing her lips, sliding a piece of his tongue into her once in a while, barely taunting her with small, cat-like licks, each time rubbing the sweet spot inside her fleshy muscles.

"– Aemond –" She sighed, throwing her head back, her hips beginning to roll back and forth, her fingers clenching in his short hair, always, always wanting more.

"– sleep – sleep, my sweetest –" He whispered, sliding his tongue deeper and deeper between her hot, clenching walls, digging his fingers into the soft skin of her buttocks, sinking his whole face into her weeping cunt.

Her breath became heavy and hitched, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her wetness running down his chin as he defiantly, confidently and aggressively licked her with the loud clicks of his own saliva, building her way to pleasure.

"– a-ah – uncle – mghmmm – more, more, more –" She begged so sweetly, so innocently, so sincerely, that he quickened his pace, pressing his thumb against her swollen, hot clit, letting her reach her peak on his face. She cried out loudly as if he had caused her pain when she came hard, whimpering and wailing, rubbing her hips against his nose and lips.

He stood up, wiping his face and chin with his palm, rising up on his elbow, forcing her thighs to spread wider with the motion of his knee.

She moaned with exertion as the thick, throbbing head of his cock, pulsing with desire, pushed against her oversensitive entrance, still twitching from her orgasm, now even more delicate, and he forced his way deep into her slick pussy with one brutal thrust.

Tears flowed down her beautiful red face as he imposed a fast, aggressive pace on her at once, their hips all sticky with her moisture, pounding against each other with loud, perverted slaps.

"– what a fucking mess you are – and then your uncle always has to clean up after you – your cunt is leaking like a tap –" He exhaled, looking her straight in the face, fucking her in the most straightforward way he could imagine, opening her up with sharp, sure pushes of his hips.

He clamped one of his hands on her breasts, seeing them bounce before his eyes, her eyebrows arched in indecision, from her puffy lips parted wide as usual came the sweetest sounds his ears had ever heard.

"– mghm – A-Aemond – God – please, yes, right here –" She babbled, no doubt already thinking more with her convulsively twitching cunt than with her mind, her tight walls clenching around his hard erection, making him feel the familiar squeeze in his testicles, indicating that his release was about to come.

"– it's okay – it's okay, baby – you will cum for your uncle now, hm? – yes, thaaat's it – that's my girl – fuck –" He breathed out as her little pussy gave him another few squeezes, from which he simply came, moaning and panting loudly along with her, their naked bodies hot and sweaty from the exertion.

His body fell on top of hers and they continued like that for a while, focusing on the way their bodies pulsed against each other, the way they felt each other.

The way they were one.

"This is my safest place on earth. My haven. Right. Here." He whispered in her ear, rolling his hips so that he sank his half-soft manhood deeper into her.

She sighed at his words, embracing him tenderly, as was her custom stroking his hair and back as if he were a small child.

He loved her for doing this.

He loved her for knowing he needed it, even though he never told her about it.

"When you are not there, I feel emptiness. I'm only complete when you're inside me." She hummed, and he felt his manhood pulsate hard inside her at her words.

"Stop it if you want to go to sleep. Don't provoke me." He threatened and she giggled, placing a kiss on his temple, making him smile himself.

This, their nights together, their tender embrace was the peak of his dreams.

He could survive and endure anything knowing that at the end of the day he would fall asleep in her arms between her plump, sweet breasts.

Until one day his grandfather appeared on their doorstep.

When he opened the door and saw him, at first he didn't know how to act and remained silent, petrified.

"Who's that?" He heard her soft voice and heard her look out into the corridor, her sigh of dismay letting him know she was thinking the same thing as him.

His grandfather was smiling.

"I come in peace. To talk." He said softly, and he swallowed hard, looking at her over his shoulder.

He could see in the expression on her face that she was terrified, but he decided he preferred to find out what his grandfather was up to in order to be ready for what might come.

"Give us a minute. All right?" He asked, and she pressed her lips together. She nodded and went to her room without another word, closing the door behind her.

He sighed heavily and let him in, stepping deeper into the flat, his grandfather moving behind him with a light, unhurried step.

"I see there's been a little rearranging here. I'm impressed that you haven't gotten bored with your little toy yet. Are you playing house now?" Otto asked casually, casting him a look full of curiosity from above his raised eyebrows.

He looked at him indifferently, pouring himself a glass of water and remained silent, recognising that he would not be provoked.

"Tell me what you're coming with or leave. We were just about to make dinner." He said coldly, taking a loud sip from his glass.

He should have offered him something to drink out of sheer politeness, but decided he didn't give a shit.

They measured each other's eyes for a moment, and after a while Otto sighed, sitting down on the couch, spreading himself out comfortably.

"I want you to come back. On your terms. After your… argument, Aegon wishes to step back, to return to his old duties. Naturally, you will take his place. We are family, Aemond." He said, and he looked at him with a grin, feeling a wild satisfaction at the thought that exactly what he thought had happened.

The roles had changed.

Now it was he who had come to beg him like a dog.

He knew his grandfather needed him to stand up to Daemon, but he didn't know if the advantage over him would be to his liking since he was to marry his daughter.

Escalation was not welcomed by her, and he could not complain about how much he earned or the places that sustained him and his men.

He was frugal and invested his money properly, refurbishing venues, hiring marketers, buying the best goods, attracting people with the thickest wallets to his clubs.

"I watched from the sidelines what you were doing." Continued his grandfather, seeing that he had no intention of answering his appeal. "And I'm impressed. I still think the Larys case was a mistake, but I understand you: I was young and in love too. I treated you inappropriately, it's true, but enough of this insulting. If we join forces, we will conquer the whole city. We…"

"No."

Otto blinked and laughed, as if something in his words amused him.

"No, what? You despise money and influence?" He sneered.

"I have enough of them. I'm not complaining about my standard of living. On the contrary. I am content." He said with emphasis on the last sentence, drinking his water to the end, setting the glass down on the table top with a loud clink. "Is that all?"

"Is it because of her? Can't you see that she's protecting Daemon, that she'll do anything to keep you from being a threat to him? It's obvious, because she's his daughter, never mind that not a biological one. She's weakening you, and your people can see that and will use it against you." He said coldly, making him clench his jaw with rage.

"I advise you now to watch your words and what you say next." He said slowly, looking him straight in the eye.

Otto shook his head and laughed.

"You are a fool. Men like you or me can have wives and whores, but they can't love them, because that's how we make living targets out of these people."

"You didn't love my grandmother?" He growled, furious at his hypocrisy, knowing that he had never bonded with any other woman after her death, spending his life reminiscing about her.

His grandfather fell silent for a moment, something changed in his gaze.

"I did. I saw her one day in a café and thought she would be my wife. I was younger than you then. She ran away from me for a long time, but I was patient and full of sincere affection. And she finally gave in to me. Five years after our marriage, she overdosed on sleeping pills. I didn't notice when she stopped coping with what I was doing. She was always cheerful around me, but I didn't know what happened to her when I was away at night. When she woke up in an empty bed."

He stared at him dully, feeling his heart pounding in his chest like mad, his hands lying on the tabletop clenched into fists, cold sweat running down his back.

Five years after we were married, she overdosed on sleeping pills.

I didn't notice when she stopped coping.

His grandfather grinned with satisfaction seeing the look on his face.

"Do you think I'm saying all this to annoy you? That I don't desire your happiness? That I don't understand that you love and want to be loved? You are my grandson. Let her go while it's not too late. I know that…"

"No." He said, but it seemed to him that it wasn't his mind that made the word leave his mouth, but his subconscious, a little boy from eight years ago who was terrified of what he was hearing. "I tried. I can't. It's too late. Don't come here again."

"You should spare her that and learn from the mistakes of people older than yourself. It's easy to mistake selfishness for love, even more so when we love ourselves the most." Said Otto getting up from the couch but froze when he heard his voice.

"I don't love myself. I abhor myself." He said dispassionately.

His grandfather looked at him for a moment longer, then turned and headed towards the entrance door.

"We shall see."

As soon as he left, he felt a sudden surge of desire to drink alcohol, so he grabbed a bottle of whisky standing in one of the cupboards, pouring it into a glass for himself with his hand shaking with nerves.

I didn't notice when she stopped coping.

I didn't know what happened to her when I was away at night.

When she woke up in an empty bed.

He drank the entire contents in quick, deep sips and set the glass down on the countertop, trying to calm himself down.

He wasn't like him.

He shuddered as he heard the sound of the door opening again and her footsteps, after a moment feeling her presence behind his back.

"What did he want?" She asked, her tone of voice betraying that she was frustrated and at the same time horrified by his grandfather's visit.

The fact that he was trying to regain the influence he had over him.

"That I should come back. I didn't agree." He replied matter-of-factly, pouring whiskey into his glass once more, watching with blank eyes as it filled with golden liquid.

"Aemond. What happened?" She mumbled, stepping closer to him and touched his shoulder, making him tense all over.

"Are you deaf?" He asked coldly, looking at her in a way that made her eyes grow big.

He swallowed hard, feeling a sting in his heart seeing the way her eyebrows arched in pain.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the countertop when he heard her footsteps, that she had locked herself in her room, letting him know that she didn't want to see him.

He ran his hand over his face, feeling remorseful, thinking that he needed to rest and calm down after what he had heard, that once everything was settled in his head he would go to her and apologise to her for those unpleasant words.

He took a nap on the couch, not wanting to go to bed where he knew she wouldn't be. He was only awakened by the squirming of Vhagar, who poked him with her wet nose, apparently wanting to go for a walk to take care of her needs.

When he got up and glanced at his watch he saw that he had slept for two hours, but he did not feel rested at all – on the contrary, he was even more frustrated, sad and lonely.

He thought he would apologise to her, explain everything, take a walk with her and Vhagar and spend the evening watching some history TV programme.

He went to the door of her room and knocked quietly, but heard no movement on the other side.

"– baby, I'm sorry – he brought me out of balance and I took it out on you – I shouldn't have done that – it's a hard subject for me – will you join me and Vhagar for a walk? –" He asked loud enough for her to hear him.

For a long moment he got no reply and was frightened that perhaps something had happened.

Five years after we were married, she overdosed on sleeping pills.

"– I'm reading a book – I'd rather stay home –" He heard her calm voice devoid of any emotion and swallowed hard, looking down at his fingers in embarrassment.

He felt a twinge in his stomach, feeling that she had rejected him, that she was punishing him, that she didn't want him.

"– okay – we'll be back soon –" He said, but she didn't answer him again.

He hoped she would eventually leave the room on her own: when they returned with Vhagar he made dinner – her favourite casserole – and then went to ask her if she would eat with him.

"– no, thank you – I'm not hungry –"

He stood outside her door feeling his heart pounding like mad in panic.

"– are you angry with me? –"

Silence.

"– shall we watch something on TV? – I'll stroke your head afterwards before bed, just the way you like it – I'm sorry –" He mumbled out like a small child, feeling his whole body tremble in fear.

Silence.

"– I think I'd rather spend the evening here – if that's okay –" He heard her quiet, breaking voice and closed his eyes, pressing his lips together, the stinging tears under his eyelids seemed to burn him.

"– oh – okay – I'll be next door if you need me –"

She, however, did not come out to him, he was called instead by Criston Cole, who said that there had been an unpleasant incident at one of his clubs.

"Come as soon as possible. Lannister's men shot and killed a police officer who was working with us. He was our assurance that the cops wouldn't interfere with deals that are happening in two weeks. It's getting dangerous. We need to talk things through."

He hung up and hid his face in his hands, thinking that every time he thought he had it all under control, that he was holding his life together, it all fell apart in his fingers like dust.

He got up from the couch, grabbing his leather jacket and put on his shoes, glancing towards the door of her room.

"I have to go out. I don't know when I'll be back." He said aloud and flinched as he heard movement on the other side, her footsteps and then the sound of the lock being turned.

She looked out at him from behind the door with eyes red from tears, a look of horror on her face from which he felt a squeeze in his throat.

"– why? –" She asked in a breaking voice and he swallowed with difficulty, feeling the need to embrace her, to stay with her, to stroke her hair and her back, to kiss her soft face whispering to her how much he loved her.

"– the policeman who was helping us was shot – Tyland is taking revenge for what I did to him – the consequences of my actions are slowly reaching me –" He muttered, looking at her dully, feeling strangely small and weak, tired, as if he was about to fall to his knees.

"Take me with you." She whispered, looking into his eyes in a way that made him feel hot in his chest, her gaze warm and full of feeling that made him want to cry.

I didn't notice when she stopped coping.

"No. I can't. I won't make the same mistake again. The more they are aware that you are not my temporary whim, the more danger I put you in."

"Then treat me like your whore in front of them."

He looked at her with big eyes, feeling the discomfort in his stomach at her words, the cold sweat on his back.

"What did you say?" He asked, unsure if she knew what had just left her lips.

She, however, seemed strangely calm and sure, which made him feel even worse.

"Treat me as if you're bored with me. As if you hold me close just because I am Daemon's daughter. Be cold and chilly. You can hit me if you want."

"What?" He asked in pain, feeling like something was about to explode inside him. "Do you want me to do it so you can find the strength to leave me? Reassure yourself of how fucked up I am?"

"I don't want to stay here alone, wondering if you're still alive. The fear I feel then no lamp can light up." She mouthed, tears one by one rolling down her red cheeks.

He felt torn and his heart was breaking: he knew that the matter was urgent and that he should already be on his way, but on the other hand, how could he leave her like this, terrified and broken for so many hours, deaf to her pleas and needs?

What was he supposed to do?

Take her with him, continue to expose her, subject her to perpetual judgement and criticism?

Leave her, make her withdraw into herself, sink into her fear and make her his prisoner?

"– I don't know, baby – God, I have to go – I –"

"– give me five minutes –" She said and disappeared behind the door, opening her wardrobe, and he just stood there, wondering if he should leave or not, lock her up, understand that if she was going to be safe, he had to do certain things against her will.

The golden cage.

Not even a second had passed from his thoughts when he opened the front door and stepped out, closing it quickly with a lock he knew she hadn't yet made a key for, and which couldn't be opened from the inside.

He swallowed hard, feeling tears of shame under his eyelids as he heard her run to the door, her fists pounding on it on the other side, her squeal full of despair.

"– NO – NO, NO, NO, AEMOND, DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE – TAKE ME WITH YOU, PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME –"

He clenched his eyelids and ran down the stairs, feeling the hot tears of despair one by one run down his cheeks, the echo of her crying spreading around making him feel like dying.

He couldn't take her there.

He couldn't put her at risk.

He had no choice.

He felt himself shaking all over as he got into the car, not knowing what state he would find her in when he returned or what would happen to them next.

How was he supposed to keep her safe and free at the same time?

He closed his eyes, firing up the engine and set off ahead, not daring to look at the windows for fear he would see her weeping face there.

He drove amidst the lights and darkness of the city in complete silence, thinking that, contrary to what he thought, he was a monster, some deformed creature, a black, viscous mass, but not human.

He finally reached one of the restaurants where he met his people when the situation was out of control. Above the dining area were hotel rooms that also belonged to them, and in one of them they were all already waiting for him.

He swallowed hard when, crossing the threshold of the room, he spotted Alys spread out comfortably on a couch among several men and other women.

"How are things with the police?" He asked hesitantly, glancing at Criston, sitting down in the empty armchair opposite them.

"They're furious. They don't care who did it: they know it's the mafia and they're going to try to fuck everyone up. The deals are over. The cop is dead, so all hell is going to break loose." Said Harrold Wrestling, one of his father's most trusted men.

He pressed his lips together at his words, sighing heavily, and ran his hand over his face.

"Keep the goods safe for the next few months and don't sell them. Prepare the proper contracts, everything has to be clean. If the Inland Revenue comes with an inspection, they are not to find even one inaccuracy in the papers. Do you understand?" He asked roughly, meeting Cole's gaze.

"What about the takeover of the goods that was supposed to take place in two weeks' time? How will it pass customs inspection now? That policeman was supposed to make sure his men were on shift then." Said Criston watching as he lit a cigarette and took a drag, letting the smoke out through his nose after a moment.

"Get in touch with them. Tell the truth – they have to wait, they have to reschedule. I don't think it would suit them for our police to take an interest in their business." He said lowly, trying to look anywhere but at Alys, feeling her gaze on him.

He knew she would want to torment him, to ask him about her, about what she was like, how desperate he must have been to announce to all that she was his.

Her crying, her fists pounding on the door.

Please, don't leave me alone.

He swallowed hard, only realising after a moment that Borros Baratheon had said something to him.

"…we have only the remnants of our supplies. We can barely hold out for a week. How…"

"Am I not making myself clear? I said: no drug dealing as long as the police keep an eye on us. Nothing. You'll make it up to yourselves later." He hissed, frustrated, slapping his finger on his cigarette, causing the ash from it to fall into someone's empty whiskey glass.

"Do you know what a huge financial loss this will be for us, boy?" He asked enraged.

"We have to wait it out like a storm. The Lannisters want us to react impulsively and get scared. We must show strength and composure. Prepare for what's coming. If they want to arrest someone, let them. No standing up, no shooting, no violence. We have our lawyers, our accountants and most importantly, we have the money." He said, amazed to find that he was confident in what he was doing, feeling no fear or uncertainty.

"What about Tyland? Will you leave his provocation unanswered?" Alys asked, looking into his eyes, her bright irises seeming to sparkle uneasily, something in her gaze from which he felt discomfort.

"I'll take care of him myself." He replied coolly, looking away, feeling that she was able to read his thoughts, all his doubts and what he was experiencing within himself.

"Your last warning didn't work on him. On the contrary, he declared war on you. How do you respond to that?" Alys didn't let up, not lowering her gaze for a moment, the grin on her lips told him what she was doing.

She was teasing him.

She was trying to corner him, to force him to show his niece who he really was.

A monster.

"An eye for an eye." He said, complete silence all around him. "Is everything clear? If the police turn up at the premises you manage, don't panic. Prepare so that even if they take your laptops or phones they won't find anything on them. Make no mistake. You have my complete financial and legal support. I will get you out of any shit, but stick to the plan. Do you understand?"

The men and women around him nodded their heads.

"That's it." He said dispassionately and stood up, leaving the room filled with utter silence.

Did they believe he would succeed or did they regret their decision?

The fact that they had betrayed his grandfather.

He had to prove to them that he was strong.

That he would not allow himself to be manipulated.

When he walked into his flat at last, it was completely dark and silent. He swallowed hard when he heard Vhagar's steps coming out of her room to greet him and realised that his niece had left the door open.

He could step inside.

He quietly pulled off his shoes and jacket, walking in that direction, stroking the soft fur of his dog along the way – when he looked inside, he saw her silhouette lying on her bed, her eyes open, staring at him, large and sad, her eyelids and cheeks swollen from tears.

He felt, above all, shame, but also a strong need for her to understand that he had no choice and that he could not have acted differently.

He moved slowly towards her, after a moment being already at her bedside – when he leaned down to touch her, to stroke her cheek and kiss her, she raised herself on her elbow and pushed him away.

"– no –" She blurted out, fury and regret in her words and her gaze, her brow wrinkled in anger.

She gasped when, instead of complying with her request, he climbed onto the bed, placing his knees on either side of her body, her hands tried to push him away, but he grabbed her wrists, pressing her back against the mattress.

"– no – no, get off me – I hate you – I hate you –" She panted, breathing hard, tears one by one running down the side of her face onto the pillow under her head.

His erection swelled and ached as he pressed it between her thighs, rocking his hips back and forth, and she cried out, trying in some subconscious reflex not to open her legs to him.

One of his hands grasped her wrists and lifted them safely above her head, while the other cupped her cheeks, forcing her to look at him.

"– no –" She breathed out before he clung to her in a hot, wet kiss full of his saliva. He hissed and pulled away a little, simultaneously furious and aroused when she dug her teeth into his lower lip, the bitter taste of blood melting on his tongue.

He repeated the attempt, this time literally eating her lips with his own, feeling the wonderful pain in his cock, in his mouth, in his heart, wanting to experience the satisfaction that only she could give him. Her body, though writhing and quivering in despair yielded to him as his free hand slid down her hips, finding the space between her thighs.

She shuddered as his fingers began to wander tentatively over the material of her panties, a grimace of satisfaction flashed across his face as he felt that it was soaked through. She drew in a loud breath when, encouraged by this discovery, he pushed it aside and sank his fingertips into her silky, soft cunt.

"– you are leaking –" He murmured with delight into her throat, feeling her stop resisting him, and when his hand let go of her wrists, she immediately threw her arms around his neck.

"– you left me –" She mewled into my mouth, their lips petting and teasing each other, the tips of their tongues coming out to meet each other with lazy, lewd licks.

"– I'm back – I'm here, baby – you can let go now –" He whispered, slowly but surely penetrating her tight, throbbing slit with his finger, feeling that his manhood was about to explode in his trousers, ready to possess her, to fuck her, to make love to her.

She threw her head back with a girlish, sweet moan, exactly the way he loved it, involuntarily bucking her hips to the rhythm of his hand, her breath shaky and hitched, full of desire.

"– God, n-no –"

"– being with me, you won't know freedom – I'm not in a position to choose between that and your safety – if that's what you want, I'll let you leave – but make love to me one last time –" He whispered, joining his first finger with his second, pumping and hitting her sweet spot each time, his palm all sticky from her wetness dripping down her thighs, her muscles swollen and yawning with heat.

Her lips parted in shock at his words, the heavy tears that ran down his cheeks one by one began to drip down her face. Her fingers slipped into his hair and their lips came out against each other at the same time, catching each other in a helpless, pathetic, passionate kiss full of their sighs and their tongues, his hands sliding down to the belt of his trousers, undoing it quickly.

"– I love you – I love you, I love you, I love you –" He panted, releasing his swollen, hard erection, watching as she quickly slid her panties off her legs, with the tips of her fingers directing the fat head of his cock, leaking from his precum, into her little hole.

He opened her wide with an almost animalistic groan, thrusting into her almost immediately as if tomorrow would never come. He watched her face flooded with tears, her eyebrows twisted in a grimace of pain and pleasure, running his thumb over her cheek and lower lip, sinking into her warm, familiar flesh, feeling at peace, at home.

He sighed when she drew him close, when she clamped her fingers around his neck and forced their foreheads to press together – he seemed to smile at this gesture before they kissed again, at once like a pair of children and lovers, seeking comfort in the wonderful softness of their lips.

The pace of his hips was slow and lazy, the loud clicks of her pussy each time he sank into her fleshy core sent them into a state of ecstasy, drawing purrs and gasps of delight from their throats.

His free hand stroked her cheek, while the other slid lower, between her thighs, finding her small, swollen clit after a moment. She moaned and shuddered as if a bolt of lightning had passed through her, her hungry walls clenching against his cock aching with desire, forcing him to open her up for himself with surer, sharper pumps.

"– yes –" She whimpered into his mouth, answered by his hoarse groan, her legs crossed over his back, allowing him to finally sink into her completely, become one with her, pounding into her slick pussy with the sticky splats of their hips.

"– f-fuck, baby – oh, God, yes –" He panted into her mouth, again and again sliding his tongue deep between her teeth, all the way down her throat, in some natural, primitive reflex as a man wanting to fill her with all of himself, leaving her no room for anyone else.

A wonderful heat rippled through his lower abdomen, the tension in his testicles and in his throbbing length showing that he was nearing his fulfilment.

He breathed out loud when he heard her cry as her small, leaking cunt began to clench and pulsate against his hard manhood. When his wonderful release came at last he clamped his eyelids shut, panting hard, letting her spasming cunt suck his seed deep inside her.

He lay on top of her with his eyes closed, their arms embracing each other involuntarily, lingering in the stillness, focusing only on the quivering of their bodies, on how intimate and private the experience was, him, deep inside her.

"– my sweet baby girl – my little sunshine –" He whispered, and she swallowed hard, her cheeks hot and wet from her sweat and tears. He pressed his lips into a thin line, letting his tears join hers, letting his breath become heavy and hitched as well, their hands trailing over their bodies trying to give them comfort.

"– my grandfather – what he told me –" He whispered in her ear and she froze. "– he said that you wouldn't be able to bear this life, just like my grandmother – that you would commit suicide too – and I don't want to live in a world where you won't be there, even if you are no longer by my side –"

He cried out of helplessness, huddling in her silhouette like a small, frightened boy, because he felt lost and alone, because all he wanted was to love and be loved, because he was doing everything to make their lives good, but it wasn't enough.

He only calmed down when her gentle hand began to stroke his hair and his back, when her cheek pressed against the top of his head.

Neither of them said anything else.

He was afraid of what she might do, of the fact that she might really leave him, so his fingers clenched tighter on her body, pressing her against him, wanting only for her to stay in his embrace.

They spent the night on the bed in her room, cramped and less comfortable than the one in his bedroom, but there was something about it that reminded him of their childhood. He embraced her from behind, burying his face in the crook of her neck, placing his hands on her waist, feeling her fingers entwine with his.

And then the morning came.

When he woke up, the first thought that came to his mind was that he was cold and feeling anxious. He only understood why he felt this way when he opened his eyes and realised that she was not beside him.

He pulled himself up from his seat, feeling his heart in his throat, despair and panic guiding his steps.

Her things were still there, but she wasn't.

She couldn't take them if she wanted to escape and not wake him.

He sat on the couch in the living room, leaned over and burst out sobbing like a little boy, clenching his fingers in his hair, the pain he felt in his chest and stomach like he was having a heart attack. He drew in air with difficulty and clenched his eyes shut, whooping with his own tears.

She left.

[angelwhisp3rs]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ man like me

Pairing: RE!2 Leon x fem!reader

Summary: Leon has gone through so much training, life always made it look like he didn't luck out. Always the butt of the joke, he questioned if he would ever be a man. His partner seems to think he is man enough for her &lt;3

Tags: Smut; bj; he cums in her face; slight sub!leon; leon gets called a fairy because he is not considered a "macho man" (i hate m*n)

Notes: First post! I'm so excited, i've been brainrotting for RE for years, and just now decided to add to the community. Love you all! Feel free to give me any tips for my writing or some prompts!

Also, please! If you are a minor, i don't feel comfortable with you interacting with my content, so no minors allowed ok?

Have you ever felt like you weren’t blessed? Well, Leon felt that every day of his life. His parents dying, his rough childhood in the orphanage, he had to work twice as harder than anyone of his peers to achieve anything. Now, as a cop, he believed that this was all in the past - he chose the manliest job of them all.

Oh, well. Turns out that stations were just an adult hangout spot for jocks that never grew out of their high school days.

The women would coo at him, calling him cute and adorable, while the older officers would sneak some comments about him being a “fairy”. Fucking idiots. 

After some months working with them, Leon managed to gain at least some respect among his colleagues - he was a great cop after all, and he even managed to tone down some of the ridiculous teasing (and plain homophobia, if you ask him). 

To the surprise of everyone there, a new recruit would be coming in, making Leon celebrate a little on the inside - maybe it would be his chance to stop being the butt of the joke and finally laugh along with the rest, not being the one laughed at.

He couldn't wait to finally turn his luck around.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

Turns out he is wrong. Of course things wouldn’t go his way once. The rookie was a girl - well, a woman, and a pretty one at that. 

The men there went ballistic. The single, desperate for attention, and the married, aching for an affair. Used to the calm and pliant women in the precinct, the men didn’t wait for even 5 minutes to let out their disgusting comments, calling her a hot piece of their ass, some even suggesting that they could ‘teach her’ the ways around there.

They were so wrong. Cutting their comments short, she looked at them in disgust, and distributed answers that put them back into their places. Hell, she even dared to ask how the deputy’s wife wasn't arrested for animal cruelty for sleeping with a pig like him.

Leon looked at her with stars in his eyes - she was different from him after all, not letting those idiots run through her. The bigoted idiots decided that as a “punishment” to her, she would be his new partner, matching their work hours and patrolling together. That fact made him excited, but not for long. Unfortunately, his intrusive thoughts began swarming his head: “Do you really think she won’t make fun of you?” and “A woman like her would eat up a man like you”.

The only thing he could do was stand a hand to her, offering a handshake “Hi there, partner. I’m Leon Kennedy”.

She had a predatory smirk on her face, looking at him up and down. “Hi, Leon. I think we’re gonna be great partners”.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

When Leon thought she would eat up a guy like him, he didn’t think it would be like that. It was way after the time they had to clock out, and they were the only ones left in the station. Leon was backed up in the evidence room, his pants on the floor as her mouth worked around his cock, drenching it with her spit. The only sounds heard were the man trying to drone out his moans with his hand on his mouth, and her gagging as she took him as deep as she could in her throat.

To Leon, this had to be a dream - no way that would ever happen. But as he looked down, her sinful eyes looking up at him, he knew that he couldn’t even dream of something as good as this. He had to be careful not to knock out the evidence in the surrounding files, choosing to rest his hand on her ponytail - quite convenient for the situation.

“You are doing so well, baby. Why don’t you come in my face, and show them that you are the only man able to do that, huh?” She taunted him as she kept pumping his cock his her hands, slick with her saliva and the precum that drooled on his tip

Her mouth returned to his member as she kept her hands going, thriving at his blushing face and his desperate whines. The man was going crazy, it’s been so long since something other than his hand touched his cock, that the 8 minutes of her mouth - which he believed to be 30, were enough to bring him to the edge. Soon, her mouth pulls back as she jerks him faster, angling at her face as he coats it with his pearly cum, hitting her cheeks, mouth and chin.

While he believed that his soul had left his body and come back, she stood up and grabbed some tissues there to clean her face. All cleaned up, she helped him put his pants back on and pressed some kisses to his jaw, whispering to his ear “Why don’t you come over to my place and show my cunt who is the only man to fill it up?”. After that, she left the evidence room with a smirk, looking back at him once and throwing a wink at him.

Well, it turns out that luck was a person, and it finally caught up to him.

[be-my-sunrise]

8:25pm

pairings: churchboy!mark x fem!reader

genre: smut, minors pls dni

word count: 720

warnings: unprotected sex, public sex, teasing, brat taming(kinda?), hair pulling, edging, creampie

The day started off quite normal. Although you and Mark slept through the alarm, both of you still made it in time to church for Sunday Service. Most of the seats were taken by the time you both got there, so you had to sit in the back. 

It has only been ten minutes since the pastor started preaching, and you were already distracted. You might look like you're paying attention, but you're actually busy replaying the events from last night in your head. Mark had just returned from his business trip yesterday, so the two of you spent the whole night getting steamy in bed. The sex after his business trips–or whenever both of you have to spend some time apart–is always mind-blowing. Not that it's bad before, but all the waiting and anticipation just make it even better. There's one more thing that also leads to mind-blowing sex: when you're acting like a brat.

You didn't want to do this, but the thrill of doing such sinful actions in a holy place aroused you. You need Mark right now. You started teasing Mark by placing a hand on his thigh, slowly inching closer to his crotch. Mark shrugged it off at first, but then he was kind of pissed when your fingers kept 'accidentally' brushing over his cock. 

Everything after that happened so quickly, and now here you are, chest pressed against the wall inside one of the stalls in a women's bathroom, moaning as Mark takes you from behind. You hiss when Mark yanks your hair back, his hot breath hitting your neck.

"I told you to behave, but you decided to be a brat instead." He said in a low voice. "Last night wasn't enough for you?"

"N-no.."

"No? How pathetic, you can't even last ten minutes without my cock inside you. What would God think about that, hm?"

A loud moan escapes your lips as Mark slams his hips harder against yours, pushing his cock deeper. He covers your mouth with his other hand to muffle your moans.

"Quiet, angel. Or is that what you want, hm? You want the people outside to hear how good I'm making you feel?"

Your eyes roll to the back of your head when he hits your sweet spot, making you clench around his cock.

"Fuck–do that again." He throws his head back and screws his eyes shut as you clench once again. 

"Don't even think about cumming, I know you're close. Hold it or I won't let you cum at all."

Not long after, you feel Mark's cock twitch before spilling thick ropes of cum inside you. He lets out a deep growl as he fills you up with his load, the warmth making you hum in pleasure. Mark holds you close, steadying your body when your knees buckle underneath you.

Your muscles go tense as you're reaching your climax, lips tucked between your teeth to bite back a moan. Mark pulls out abruptly just when you're about to cum. You whine at the sudden emptiness, pussy clenching around nothing.

"No! Mark, please–"

"Brats like you don't get to cum."

Mark gives your ass a spank, earning a yelp from you. He fixes your panties before his cum drips out and pulls your dress down. You press your thighs together, letting out a choked sob knowing it won't be enough to give you the relief you wanted. Mark tucks his cock back inside his pants and gives you a peck on your cheek.

"Fix your hair, I'm going back outside."

After Mark leaves, you take a look at your reflection in the mirror. With the messy hair, smudged mascara, and smeared lipstick? Yeah, people would definitely know you just had your insides rearranged. 

Once you feel like you look decent enough, you go back outside and find Mark in your seats. You plop down next to him and he gives you a sweet smile, as if he wasn't just balls deep inside you a few minutes ago. Mark puts his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to whisper in your ear.

"Wait 'til we get home. I'm not finished with you."

His words go straight to your pussy. Excitement bubbles in your chest, fully aware that your plan had worked. 

"You're in for a long night, angel."

a/n: i've had this drabble idea on my notes for so long, and i figured it's time for it to see the light of day. it's supposed to be short, but i kinda got carried away👀 thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!<3

[4unnyr0se]

❥ study sesh | satoru gojo

warnings: college au!, fem reader, gojo is submissive lol, goldren retriever gojo, gojo isn't very smart but thats okay we love him, fingering, roughness, making out, hickeys, top! reader, geto is mentioned several times, couch sex, readers favorite kind of sushi is also my favorite kind, degrading, insecure reader, asphyxiation, mentions of vaping and drinking, mentions of marijuana use, protected sex, choso mentioned, geto is a bastard, doordash is expensive and i dont like that

MDNI | 18+ content

word count -> 4k

Gojo groaned at the email he was just sent, running his hands down his pale face in annoyance. He slammed his laptop closed and tossed his head back, groaning exasperatingly. Failing a required class, seriously? Out of all the things he could do at university this was by far the most cliche. So annoyingly cliche, like his entire college life was a very niche film. Rolling his azure blue eyes, Gojo opened his laptop to reread the email his professor sent him. His high-and-mighty professor had arranged a tutoring session with the only tutor for History of Japan 201. Lucky him.

“Dickhead,” Gojo mumbled, pushing himself out of his rolling chair. He quickly stretched and placed his laptop inside his backpack along with the mess of empty vapes and crumbled-up phone numbers that he swore he would text (he never did.) He checked out how he looked in the mirror, adjusting his v-neck collar and fluffing out his snow-white hair just a little bit. He may not have known who you were yet, but he’d be damned if he didn’t look fine at any given moment.

“Yo, I’m going out.” Gojo spoke to Geto, his suitmate. Geto took the joint out of his mouth and raised an eyebrow, offering the blunt to Gojo. 

“Why? There are no parties happening tonight, at least not that I know of.” Geto asked, sitting up on the edge of his bed. Geto’s bed was significantly nicer than Gojo’s his sheets didn’t have any suspicious stains on them and they smelled like laundry.

“Fucking Professor Yaga is making me go to a tutoring session for my history class. Says if I don’t do it then my grade’ll be tanked.” Gojo sighed, running his hands through his hair as he leaned against the door to their apartment.

“Tanked? You mean your grade was good this time around?” Geto smirked, putting out the joint at the bottom of his shoe.

“If you count a 59% as good,” Gojo shrugged, putting his hands in his jacket pockets.

“Oh, you’re fucked man.” Geto laughed, laying back down on his bed. “Good luck with the history nerd, you’ll need it.”

“Fuck off man,” Gojo punched Geto on the arm, eliciting a smug chuckle out of Geto’s throat. “I’ll be back when I’ll be back. If you’re bringing a girl over, text first. If I have to see your face covered in cum again I’ll vomit.”

“What, someone jealous?” Geto rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

“Whatever man, see you.” Gojo walked out of his apartment, walking down the steps in a hurry. “And get the fuck out of my room! You have your own!” He yelled up the stairs, knowing the chance of Geto hearing him was slim to none.

He put his headphones on, turning up the music to drown out his thoughts. What if you were fucking annoying, or shitty at teaching? How fucked would he be then? Even worse, what if you were too good at your job and Gojo’s grade skyrocketed? Would he be asked to become a tutor? No one fucking wants that, especially not him. Tutoring was for losers and virgins, and he certainly wasn’t any of those.

Gojo walked across campus with a spring in his gait, nodding to the girls who waved at him. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence for girls (and occasionally the female professors) to get flustered when he walked past them. His classmate fainted one time he asked her for a pencil, but he thought she was probably faking it. It wasn’t a secret that Gojo was a known player on and off the campus, but why did the women he slept with have to exaggerate everything? It felt fake, artificial. Gojo liked his women to be lively, to be real. 

Whatever, he didn’t need to think about that right now. Gojo approached the library, taking off his headphones and placing them over the curve of his neck. He sat down at a table near the back end where all the books were stored, slowly gathering dust. Hell, some of them haven’t been touched in decades. Maybe it was for a good reason.

“There you are! I looked everywhere.” His ears perked up at the sound of a feminine voice approaching him, his ocean eyes turning to get a look at you. You stood in front of him, clutching your messenger bag in your left hand and a pencil in the other. “You’re five minutes late, you know. Now we only have 55 minutes to go over the material instead of an hour, dummy.”

Gojo rolled his eyes and opened up his backpack, fishing aimlessly for a pencil and a sheet of paper. An empty puffbar fell out and landed on the carpeted floor, which made you raise an eyebrow. Gojo coughed and picked it up hastily, shoving it back inside his black hole of a book bag.

“Don’t act like you’ve never seen a vape before,” He muttered, adjusting his posture.

“No, I have. I’m just surprised that you like that flavor. Blue raspberry ice is so basic.” You retort, sitting down across from him. Spreading out some papers from your messenger bag, you hand Gojo a highlighter and a pen, both in the color blue. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. You are going to highlight what’s important on the documents and write them down on the notebook paper. After that we’ll make flashcards from your notes and just do those until the hour is up, does that sound okay?” You looked at him, taking out your pen and paper to observe how he studied. You didn’t need to review the material, you knew it all by heart anyway. But if you were being completely honest with yourself, it was such a treat to have the academic fate of Satoru Gojo in your hands. Like a little bird trapped in a cage, except this bird was unironically stupid.

“I’d rather kill myself, but okay. Anything to pass this lame-ass lecture.” Gojo muttered in frustration, pulling the lecture documents forward. His eyes lightly skimmed over them, not absorbing much of the information anyway. He could just do this in his apartment, why did Professor Yaga feel the need to torture him with this useless tutoring session? Because his professor hated him, that’s why.

“Hey, don’t diss Japanese history. It’s fun sometimes if you forget about all the wars and whatever.” You softly giggled, curling a lock of your hair behind your ear. Gojo looked up from his highlighting to stare at you for a brief moment, the ghost of a smile touching his plump lips. 

‘Cute,’ He thought to himself, turning his attention to the documents once more. He continued to sneak an occasional glance at you to gauge what kind of person you were. Were you a typical history nerd, or was this a persona you put on to protect yourself? Gojo always had a way of reading people, but you remained a mystery to him.

Gojo would groan in frustration frequently, covering it up with a hasty cough. Why couldn’t he read you, and why did he want to get to know you better? This has never happened before with him, not sure for quite a while. 

“Uh, are you okay? You’ve been coughing the entire time, do you need to go home or something? I can always email Yaga and tell him you aren’t feeling the best.” You spoke, packing up your pen and papers neatly into your bag, a stark contrast to the way that Gojo’s bag could be considered a biohazard. 

“Oh, yeah I’m fine. Just thinking real hard about the Heian period is all.” He smirked, covering up his hazy mind with quick wit.

“Mhm, I’m sure you were, princess.” You retorted, flashing a smug grin at him. “By the way, thanks for completely reinforcing the stereotype of a dumb frat guy. Keeps my image of your kind on track.”

“The fuck you mean by that?” Gojo asked defensively, getting up and throwing his bookbag over his shoulder. “Are you saying that all frat guys are stupid or something?”

“That’s exactly what I’m implying, pretty boy.” You began to walk to the door, grinning to yourself as Gojo quickly caught up to you in just a few paces.

“You’re something else, girl.” He spoke, walking with you out of the library towards the university center. “I like that. Where are you going?” Gojo asked, following you like a lost puppy.

You rolled your eyes, stopping in your tracks. “To the university center. I want dinner.”

Gojo shook his head and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you away from the path. “No way, I’m not letting my tutor get food poisoning from a shithole like that. I’ll order us something, okay?” He flashed his pearly whites at you, which you couldn’t help but admire. For such a disorganized slob he sure knew how to take care of his hygiene. 

You raised an eyebrow skeptically, not minding how he wrapped his arm around you. Almost like Gojo wanted to protect you weirdly enough. “And why would you order me food? All I did was teach you about the Heian period, it wasn’t anything.” You babbled on in an ill attempt to make excuses.

“Just let me buy dinner for you, okay? We can go back to my apartment and study some more there, the library is suffocating me anyway.” Gojo whined, steering the both of you in the direction of his university apartment. It wasn’t a very long walk from the main campus, and yet he was almost always late to every single one of his classes this semester.

“Suffocating you with knowledge, perhaps. Is your brain seriously that small?”

“Maybe don’t diss the guy that’s paying for your dinner, sweetheart.” Gojo wiggled his thin eyebrows at you, walking up the flights of stairs to his apartment. “My roommate might still be home but don’t worry about him. Suguru is usually too stoned to notice anything.” He turned the key and let you both inside, kicking off his shoes onto the carpet beneath him.

You took off your shoes and placed them beside his own, sitting down on the living room sofa. Gojo had sauntered off somewhere, yelling for his suitmate. “Looks like he isn’t here, probably under a bridge or skating with Choso.” He placed his hands in his pockets and sat down a couple of feet beside you. 

“So, what did you wanna order? Burgers, Chinese? Anything except soba, I fucking hate soba.” Gojo chuckled, pulling out his phone from his back pocket. 

Thinking for a moment, you snapped your fingers together. “Sushi. I haven’t made decent sushi in forever.”

Gojo slowly nodded and opened up a popular food delivery app, hitting the little sashimi icon on the home screen. “A little expensive but okay. D’ya like rolls or sashimi or what?”

“Rolls, spicy. Salmon, if you can.” You told him your preferences, leaning down to take your laptop out of your messenger bag. “I’m making you a Quizlet so that my time here doesn’t feel completely pointless.” As you mumbled to yourself, a tiny little foil packet well out of the side pocket. You grabbed it quickly and shoved it in your front pocket, praying that Gojo didn’t notice. 

“Foods ordered, it wasn’t cheap either. Not that I mind, I got plenty of cash to spare!” Gojo smiled, miming throwing money in the air. 

You let the faintest smile touch your face, typing away at your laptop. “You’re like a puppy, you know. Like those white labs I see all the time.” You looked at him, admiring the way his messy white hair added to his devilishly handsome aura. “They’re pretty cute.”

Gojo raised an eyebrow and leaned closer to you, almost teasing you with his proximity. “Are you saying that you think I’m cute, nerd?” He purred, sticking his tongue out.

You blushed and rolled your eyes, closing your laptop. “Maybe, so what if I did? I’m just your tutor. Yaga is giving me extra credit just by talking to you.” You mumbled, noticing that Gojo was still leaning closer to you.

“Well…I think you’re pretty cute too.” He grinned, a blush covering his stupidly adorable face.

Your fingers tensed up in your lap, your gaze locked onto the shag carpet beneath you. You wouldn’t dare look into his eyes, not now. They would only suck you into his sexy blue vortex and then before you knew it you would be on his lap, straddling his waist and making out with his neck.

“You think all girls are pretty, you’re a player for fucks sake.” Your voice was filled with scoff and denial, the tension between you two growing with each passing second. “My friend saw you shoving your tongue down a sorority girl's throat last night, did you think she was cute too?”

“Well, technically yeah but it’s only on the surface. She was attractive but she had no personality, unless you count downing vodka crans as a personality trait.” He pointed out, wrapping his arm around your shoulder once more. You two were pressed against each other, your arms limp at your sides. You had no idea what to do, should you touch him as well? Where would you touch him?

“So…you think my personality makes up for the fact that I don’t have a pretty face?” You sighed, your insecurities surrounding you like haunted spirits.

“No! No way, no.” Gojo assured you, cupping your cheeks with his hands. “I think you’re pretty and smart and funny and…I know I’ve only met you a couple hours ago but you’re really fucking sexy.”

You gulped as you felt his warm and large hands on your face, leaning into the touch slightly. Satoru Gojo called you sexy, his history tutor. He thought his history tutor was sexy. You smacked your glossed lips together, your noses touching. “How long until the sushi gets here?”

“Twenty minutes.”

“Do you think we could fuck in that amount of time?” You boldly asked, staring into his gorgeous, enchanting blue eyes. You bit down on your bottom lip, your own eyes containing unspoken desires. 

Gojo smirked and pulled you onto his lap, his hands resting on the swell of your hips. “Hell yeah, sweetheart.” He whispered, crashing his lips against yours. The kiss was slow at first, your arms wrapped around his neck while his own hands trailed up and down your back, occasionally stopping to feel the round flesh of your ass.

Your tongue entered his mouth, doing battle with his wet muscles before exploring his cavern. Gojo groaned at the sensation of your tongues colliding, attempting to shift himself so he was on top.

You pulled away from the kiss and tutted at him, pushing his chest down so he was leaning against the leather texture of the couch. “No, pretty boy, I’m on top this time.” You spoke softly, your voice dripping with sexuality and confidence. 

“This time, huh? You wanna see me again after this?” Gojo smirked, slapping your ass gently. “Someone sure got confident real quick.”

You shrugged and bit down on his bottom lip with your teeth, pulling away a second later. You saw how Gojo reacted to your dominance, how the breath left his lips the second you laid down the law. Your long nails dug into the black tank top he wore, your thumb slipping under the hem to feel his abs.

“You’re so fucking ripped, holy shit.” You breathed out, planting gentle kisses on his neck. You squeezed your legs shut, anxious to receive any friction that would make you feel amazing.

Gojo grinned, taking off his jacket along with his shirt and tossing it behind his head. “What about now, you still like what you see princess?” He chuckled, flexing his biceps to impress you.

“Oh shut up and finger me.” You smiled and rolled your eyes, slamming your lips against his once more. Your hand guided his under the hem of your sweatpants and underneath your panties, prodding them at your weeping entrance. “Fuck me with your fingers before I ride you, Satoru.”

“God, I love it when you tell me what to do.” He groaned, shoving your pants down to your kneecaps along with your panties. He put his fingers inside of his mouth, a popping sound leaving his lips as they were soaked in his spit. “Gotta make sure they don’t hurt you.” He teasingly ran them up your folds, inserting his middle and index finger inside of you slowly. Gojo thrust them up and down at a regular pace, not knowing if you liked it rough or gentle. 

“S-shit, your fingers are so fucking long. Oh shit.” You moaned into his ear, slumping yourself against his muscular chest for support. His fingers continued to drill up and inside of you, observing how you convulsed around him if he fucked his fingers in and out of you at the speed of light. 

“Yeah, you like that pretty girl? You like getting fucked by some dumb frat guy's fingers?” Gojo whispered into your ear, biting the shell harshly. You squealed in pleasure as you felt his thumb rub harsh circles on your clit. Fuck, he was so fucking good with his hands. 

“Fucking love it, holy fuck!” You gasped, feeling your knees start to give way as your orgasm approached. Suddenly, you grabbed Gojo’s wrist and pulled it away from your pulsating core, your breath slow and shallow. 

Gojo raised an eyebrow in confusion, his cock throbbing horribly in his boxers. “Was I too rough or something?” He asked, concerned about his performance. 

You shook your head in assurance, kissing his forehead gently. “N-no, not at all. It’s just that…I wanna cum on your cock, not on your fingers.” You whispered, playing with the drawstring of his sweatpants. “Also…that erection looks pretty fucking painful. Are you gonna let me ride you or what?” You teased, thumbing with the hem.

Almost instantly Gojo’s sweatpants flew off his body, leaving him only in his very tight black boxers. Your hands tugged down on the hem, pulling the boxers down so only his cock and balls were exposed. He was huge, his mushroom tip was pink and he had a large pulsating vein wrapping around the shaft. “Fuck…do you have a condom?” You asked, wanting so badly to just slam yourself down and fuck him senseless.

“Y-yeah, in my bag over there.” Gojo pointed to his discarded backpack at the entrance of his apartment, secretly wishing it would just fly into his hand like Thor with his hammer.

You wobbled over to retrieve the condom, shuffling through old candy wrappers and empty vape pens. Finding it, you practically sprinted over to sit back down on Gojo’s lap. He took the condom from your hands and tore open the foil with his teeth, rolling the latex on with ease. “Fuck, I’ve never been this sensitive before. You’re a witch.” He breathed out, kissing you softly as you hovered yourself above his cock.

“Shh, just lemme fuck you. Alright, baby?” You purred, lowering yourself down onto his cock. You hissed as his thick mushroom head pushed past your entrance, the pleasure outweighing the pain tenfold. “F-fuck, you’re so fucking big.”

“Tell me something I don’t know, pretty girl.” Gojo chuckled, grabbing onto your hips. He pushed you down further onto his cock, whispering sweet nothings into your ear until he’d bottomed out.

You started to move yourself up and down on his cock, bouncing slowly to grow accustomed to his length and girth. You kissed him passionately, gripping his broad and muscular shoulders for support. “Ngh, fuck!” You cried onto his lips, placing his hands on your waist to guide you.

Gojo’s hands pulled you back and forth, up and down on his length until you got the hang of handling how big he was, your hands now groping your tits as you fucked yourself on his cock. The filthy sound of skin slapping and squishing against skin filled the apartment, the still and stiff air being replaced with the intoxicating aroma of sex and lust. 

“God, just like that baby! Fuck, you’re so fucking good at riding this dick princess. Ride my dick, fuck, ride me! Fuck me!” Gojo cried out, resting his head on the cushions behind his naked body as your hips slammed onto his pelvic bone repeatedly, surely leaving bruises for him to wake up to tomorrow.

“You’re so fucking noisy.” You growled, wrapping your hands around his bruised throat. Not enough to stop him from breathing, just enough to let him know who was in charge. 

Gojo whimpered as he felt your hands wrap around his throat, his cock twitching inside of you. He had no idea he liked it when he wasn’t in charge when he was being used like a fucktoy. Gojo fucking loved watching ride him, how your sobbing cunt took his cock so nice and so deep.

You tilted your head to the side and smiled darkly, moving even faster on his cock to the point where you were just bouncing on the abused appendage. “What, baby forgot how to use his words? Are you being fucked too good you can’t even speak, huh? Adorable little slut.” You whispered, your lew words making Gojo want to become yours even more.

“Oh, is somebody gonna fucking cum?” You mocked, pouting your lip. Your grip around his neck tightened as you continued to ride him, feeling your orgasm fast approaching. “Fucking cum for me baby, cum like the good little whore you are.”

“Fuck, I’m c-cumming! Fuck, ngh, fuck! Oh my God, fuck! Please” Gojo practically sobbed as his orgasm filled the rubber he wore, his grip on your hips not faltering. He could feel your cunt milk him for all he was worth, still bouncing on him with vigor. “P-please cum, please! Wan’ feel you on me, please!” He begged, his beautiful blue eyes swelling with tears.

You threw your head back as your orgasm finally hit you, pleasure coursing through every single possible vein in your body. “A-ah, shit! Fuck, fuck, oh my God!” You cried out, the bouncing on his cock slowing down as you rode out your high.

Exhausted, you collapsed onto Gojo’s sweaty chest, admiring how good he smelled even after sex. His arm wrapped around your soaked shirt, embracing you gently. “Fuck…that was the best sex I’ve had in a while.” He chuckled, kissing the side of your face.

“Oh yeah? We should do it again sometime after you do your homework of course.” You offered him a half-smirk, pulling yourself off of his now soften cock. You tied the condom and tossed it in a nearby wastebasket, pulling up your sweatpants and panties. “The sushi is probably here by now, should I go get it?” 

“Oh fuck,” Gojo grabbed his phone and unlocked it, seeing the notification that the sushi had been delivered ten minutes ago. “Fuck me, we took thirty minutes! Guess you were wrong about timing there, hm?”

You rolled your eyes and opened the apartment door to be greeted by a smug-looking Geto holding your sushi. “I’ve been standing here for about five minutes, you guys are really fucking loud.” He chuckled, allowing himself inside.

“Really, Satoru? On the couch? I sit there sometimes, dude.” Geto placed a hand on his hip, handing you the boxed sushi.

Gojo rolled his eyes and walked over to you, wrapping an arm around your waist. He had put his pants back on but his abs were still very much on display.

“Fuck off, Suguru. Please.” Gojo mumbled, squeezing your waist. You smiled at the welcome touch, especially enjoying the banter the two of them shared.

“Seems like you already did, Satoru,” Geto smirked, walking off to his room.

“Fuck you, dickhead!”

[cialovesklopp]

une journée a trois ➻ k.mbappe

summary – they had always been two. but now that they were about to be three, they were starting a new journee. the path of parenthood. ah, the joy of pregnancy

pairing – kylian mbappé x amara imani (oc)

warnings – a somewhat detailed description of childbirth, pregnancy, mentions of morning sickness, labor, breastfeeding

word count — 10.1k

author's note – i guess this is my last official chapter for the mon amour series before i am officially starting my trent fic and the first spin off to this series. i will also be taking mon amour to wattpad where i'll add some more social media since here it came a bit short. there will be a lot of redecorating for my fics in the next time. as a heads-up: i don't know anything about childbirth, my entire knowledge is from google so i am very sorry if i got something wrong. hope you enjoy &lt;3

    ( masterlist )

it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. she liked to have her life planned out to the finest detail. she wasn’t organized to the smallest but she liked to live her life in a certain order. so this was not supposed to happen now. there was no in-between for her situation. either women were happy or their lives were destroyed right now. and yet she found herself between the two scenarios.

she had been careful. she had put her career first and it had worked in every damn relationship she had ever had (which had not been a lot). she had made it clear that the success of her career was the most important thing and after the whole evan fiasco, she had sworn to herself that no matter how many times she fell in love, she would never lose sight again of her priorities. and it had worked till now.

it was a small mistake that led to her situation now. a moment of a certain emotional weakness that was the reason why she found herself in the bathroom on the floor with her back leaning against the bathtub as she stared into nothing.

kylian had introduced her to a new world of love. one where longing became sometimes too hard and the moment they found each other again, all rational thoughts were thrown out the window. he had shown her what love really felt like and that it was so much more than just endless fights and screaming matches. so… of course she had lost sights of her priorities and acted after her emotions when her heart had missed him too much.

her situation resulted from a sudden stay in the same city. he had been there to play an important match, she had two nights in that same city to tour and overwhelm her fans with her music. it had been three months that they hadn’t seen each other in person so the moment they had known they were at the same place, all sane thoughts had been thrown out the window. they had missed each other too much to even think about anything else than be close again. feel the other again. and now, not even two months later, she found herself on the floor in the bathroom with a stick in her hand. a small piece of plastic that held the weight of the world. two small blue lines that seemed to throw everything out of order. there seemed to be life growing inside of her now.

she wasn’t crying but rather staring into the air. her eyes held no emotion as she held the positive test in her hands. somehow it didn’t seem to set in that she carried life now in her body. that someone was breathing inside her and had their own heartbeat. it appeared surreal to her. the realization that one of her biggest fears had become true.

amara didn’t fear his reaction. that was probably the least of her problems. he had always expressed his desire for children, no matter at which point in his career he would be. he would support her, no matter what. she was the problem.

there had been warnings for this situation. women with so much potential that had been destroyed or ruined because of a child. and it wasn’t just an empty warning. she had seen it with her own eyes. linda, evan’s mother, had been the proof she had needed. a beautiful woman, beautiful and intelligent — a cunning lawyer who was at the peak of her career. but her pregnancy had ruined her and had turned her into a housewife. the vision, evan had always had of her. being pregnant just before she was about to start the second leg of her tour was the most unfortunate moment, this little gift could have come. it threw all plans out of the window.

she absolutely did not want to become one of those women who were at the peak of their career and then got it ruined by an unplanned pregnancy. it was her biggest fear. especially because she was living on the high of it at the moment. everything was going well, — she was breaking record after record — and now everything was about to stop. because she knew she would never bring it over her heart to kill the small human that seemed to be growing in her. it was a part of her now. and she could never take that decision alone.

time passed and she still found herself in the same position, her mind still processing the news. she didn’t notice kylian coming home from training and calling her name. her senses picked up his smell and noticed his presence but her brain felt disconnected to the outside world. her mind was a whirlwind of conflicting and complicated thoughts she just couldn’t work through.

if he was surprised to find her in the bathroom, he didn’t show it. kylian called her name but there was no response except an occasional small hum. the room felt smaller and the atmosphere was uncomfortable with the big news looming over them.

“cherié, tout va bien?” he asked her softly, eyes filled with worry as he kneeled a bit down and remarked how hers seemed to just stare into nowhere with a numb expression in them. she didn’t find the strength in herself to say her fears out. it was paralyzing her from deeply inside and forming a big lump in her throat that prevented her from being vocal. instead she only handed him the positive test, the two lines glowing dimly under the bathroom light. — honey, is everything okay

there was a confused expression on his face that turned into a mix of shock and slight happiness. but any emotion disappeared when he was met with her expression. “this is a surprise,” he said out loud and turned towards her. “are you happy?” his question hung in the air but she couldn’t find an answer.

“i don’t know. i don’t know what i’m going to do.” she admitted, her voice quiet. there was a certain nervousness and fear that underlined her voice, portraying the weight that she carried on her shoulders now. there were so many possibilities and challenges, so many hills and rocks they would have to climb now. she wished she was fearless like all the other women that were over the moon when they got the positive news.

“i was about to leave for a whole year. the second part of my tour is starting in a month. and now i’m…” her throat became dry as the lump became bigger. the words seemed stuck, as if speaking them out would actually make it real. “i’m pregnant.”

she didn’t have to say more for kylian to understand her. that’s just how they were. he seemed to comprehend that she wasn’t mad at the pregnancy. after all, she adored children. she was amazing with them and they both knew they wanted kids. she just feared the impact it could have on her career.

“je ne sais pas quoi faire,” she mumbled under her breath, her lips barely moving. “it wasn’t supposed to happen now. everything was going soo… well, i guess. i don’t want it to end. i don’t want to lose my career.” — i don’t know what to do

he let out a sigh, his back sliding down the wall as he sat down next to her. one hand still held the positive test while the other wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist, pulling her closer to him. “why would this ruin your career? you’re the most successful artist i know. nothing could ruin this now.”

“you’re supposed to say that. but you haven’t seen that pregnancy does to women. i don’t want my career to be ruined, not with the way the world treats women. how am i supposed to be a good mum and a successful woman in the music industry?” she shook her head and put it down on his shoulder, resting it there. she appreciated his efforts to comfort her but he was a man— they would never truly understand a woman’s suffering, no matter how hard they tried.

“we could stay home both if you want that. i take a break from football and i could be home for the both of you,” he suggested and amara looked at him incredulously. it was strange for her how he had accepted it so quickly already, that they were about to be three while she still struggled to comprehend the situation.

she shook her head firmly. “i could never ask you to stop for me. i know how much you love football. it’s your life. this is a me-problem.”

“une grossese n’est pas un probleme d’une personne. tu n'es pas seule. je te promets que rien ne va se gâcher. ta carrière est remarquable est elle le sera toujours. no matter what you do,” he consoled her, pressing soft kisses on her temple. “je t’aime tellement. mais ça, c’est ta decision et tu es la seule avec le choix. soo… are you happy?” — a pregnancy is not a problem of one person. you’re not alone. i promise you, nothing is going to get ruined. your career is remarkable and will be

— i love you so much. but this is your decision and only you can take it.

she shrugged, the unexpected twist in her plans still burning through her mind. she just couldn’t understand how there was a small human being growing inside her now. something that was breathing inside her. even though it felt unreal — and all at once she knew what she was going to do. what she would have to do now. her world would revolve around that little human being now. and she would do everything in her power to love that little baby that was living inside her. even if it the feeling of surrealism would never truly leave her.

maybe her mind should have adapted to it by now but it still felt disconnected to the situation. as if she was living two lives now. they hadn’t told anyone yet, preferring to keep it their little secret for the moment. especially because they still hadn’t settled in on the idea of getting a family addition.

kylian had noticed her struggles. how she couldn’t work around it. he would find her sometimes in front of the mirror, staring at her stomach. and even then it looked like she still hadn’t made her peace with the situation. amara had come up with several excuses why she had been going softer on training and why she avoided her pr for the second leg of the tour so much at the moment. kylian seemed to have calmed her down a bit about the pregnancy but the fears and rocks it would bring still hadn’t been overcome. even more when she still didn’t feel a thorough connection to the baby in her stomach.

the first ultrasound had been their reality check. that whatever they had been dancing around, was actually happening. there was a grateful look in her eyes when kylian grabbed her hand while their doctor applied the cold gel on her. it was terrifying for her to say the least. their nurse was friendly, nice — she must have sensed amara’s nervousness with the way she had been trying to calm the singer down. it had been risky getting an appointment but kylian had made sure to be extra careful. to make sure that nothing would come out to the press. the least she needed right now was for the time that should’ve been the happiest in her life to be without any media presence.

hearing the heartbeat was a sharp reminder that they weren’t alone anymore. the sound appeared to be precise evidence of life within her, the real confirmation for her pregnancy. it was a new experience for them, a new chapter that was starting soon in their lives. the impending parenthood that was installing its way into their life. several emotions were rushing through them as they made contact for the first time with their baby. and yet, despite the huge importance of the moment, amara’s emotions refused to truly correspond to the situation because of a missing connection between her and the baby.

she looked at the ultrasound screens, her eyes specifically fixing the point the doctor had shown them was their baby. she was registering the moment but struggled to find an emotional place for it. and it wasn’t because amara didn’t love the growing human in her body enough. there was no lack of love or commitment. her brain was just going into panic mode and refused to acknowledge the incoming changes. an automatic self-defense response from her mind who thought it needed to protect her. because even if she knew her career was good, it didn’t take away her fear of having all of that ruined.

as the doctor left them to offer them some privacy, there seemed to be just them now and the sound of a heartbeat. amara didn’t have to look at kylian to know that his cheeks were probably hurting from smiling so much. that his eyes were probably a bit teary from hearing the heartbeat of their unborn child. his hand found hers and he subconsciously intertwined them, his mind still clouded by all the emotions running through his body. she smiled at him, happy to know that at least he seemed to be able to form a special memory with the moment. for her, everything still felt surreal.

and the feeling of it did not leave her, not even in the night.

they were in bed, cuddled together under blankets when amara suddenly woke up from a slight movement. she turned a bit to look at kylian but her boyfriend still seemed to sleep peacefully. as she felt it again, amara looked down and found kylian’s hand on her stomach. casually laying there all protectively. and somehow, it was exactly what she needed to realise that it would be okay.

a small smile formed on her face and she put her hand on her stomach too. this was going to happen and she would be prepared for it. she wasn’t sure whether babies could already hear but it was stronger than her. the urge to promise her baby the world.

“i don’t know whether i’m going to be a good mum to you,” she began softly, speaking low to not wake up kylian. “but i can promise you, you’ll be in good hands with your dad.” she chuckled, the thought of kylian playing with a small mini-him or mini-her exciting her. “i’m sorry that you’re stuck with a mum who doesn’t know what she wants. but i’m trying. i’m trying for you… to be the best version of myself that you’ll need.”

they began slowly, the changes. at first barely remarkable and now they were plainly obvious. life seemed to radiate from her. she possessed a kind of positive aura around her that even the blind could see. she had truly grown into the start of her pregnancy as she entered her second trimester.

amara found herself balancing her life before and during her pregnancy. she had to get used now to the fact that her body was adapting for the small human being in her stomach and that it included good and bad changes. she had overcome her struggles with the pregnancy and the lack of emotion she had had towards it. now she suddenly felt overwhelmed but happy. nearly excited to start this new chapter.

she was four months pregnant and with that also came the first differences that made this pregnancy real. that made it more than just a statement on a paper. a small, noticeable bump had formed on her stomach — it wasn’t very big but remarkably enough that it had made them nearly cry when they had seen it. now kylian’s hoodies had become her go-to attire to hide the small curve on her stomach. his sweatshirts engulfed her completely, serving as a comfortable shield for her womb and a cover up. after all, they still hadn’t told anyone and the little human growing in her body was still their secret.

and just as she progressed into her pregnancy, so did the unfortunate changes like morning sickness or strange food cravings. instead of spending her mornings in bed, spooning with her boyfriend, she now found herself hung over the toilet as soon as the sun came up, with kylian holding her hair. he whispered sweet encouragements and gentle circles which was now a habit for them every morning as she finished her first trimester to enter the second. it was exhausting, crucifying even and drained her. the doctor had told them it would stop soon but she found no change. she would just have to endure it.

even worse were the sudden food cravings. eating had already become hard enough with nothing staying in her body but her strange food cravings made it ten times worse. strawberries were her first sacrifice that came with nurturing life followed by sushi and chinese food. now even the slightest smell of take-out food had her running to the toilet. it was hard and what made it even more hard was the fact that she couldn’t ask anyone for advice other than her doctor.

they hadn’t told anyone of the pregnancy. she had canceled the second leg of her tour without any reason other than the “personal reasons” she had stated in her statement. it had been a heart-wrenching decision, stopping to travel around the world and illuminate people with her music but it was necessary. another sacrifice for her new life she was entering. they had left the world — including their own families — in the dark as they chose to live in their small pink bubble, far away from the harsh reality. amara would never admit it but she was glad. grateful that she didn’t have to share what was supposed to be the happiest time of her life with the world. she wanted it to be their private little moment.

pregnancy did not only change the way they lived. it changed them completely. amara knew kylian loved her but he had changed his love language. he had gone from sweet words and giving gifts to affection and touching her constantly. it had started small, with small caresses on her back and intertwining their hands subconsciously to gentle circles drawn on her hands now soft strokes. and most of them were always centered around her stomach. it was his new way of expressing his unconditional love that was now not only directed towards her but also towards the tiny life growing inside her. they had adapted to parenthood together and it made her fall in love even more.

especially when he talked to their small little miracle when he thought she was asleep. it had started as small confessions towards their baby and had turned into full one-sided conversations now. it warmed her heart when she listened to him, heard how he expressed some of his fears — that amara found were completely unreasonable— and talked about how excited he was. no matter which gender their little bundle of joy would have. only they mattered to them, her, him and the small unborn baby. their bubble was complete.

but the couple knew that their bubble would burst soon and they would rather be the ones to do it than an outsider. after spending one month at home, shielded from the outside, she had decided to come out. and her first official appearance was no other place than kylian’s match. her parents had surprised her with a visit and both knew, they couldn’t hide it any longer now. they hadn’t exactly spoken about a way they would announce it but it was clear that they would have to share it with their families now.

along with her parents she was seated in their usual reserved spots for the families of the players, next to them kylian’s parents and his brother with his children. she played with kylian’s nephew, bouncing him on her lap while her mind wandered off to thinking about how it would be in a few months. when she would be cheering him on with their small bundle of joy.

their eyes met and she watched his smile grow bigger as he spotted her with his nephew — no doubt, the same image of her with their baby was running through his mind. again, there was an overwhelming sense of pride and excitement. amara turned to her mother, who had redirected a question towards her, wondering why her daughter was glowing so positively. and all she could do was grin. they would know later.

though later appeared to be very close as their secrecy came to an end with the opening score. he had hit a beautiful goal after dribbling his way through the penalty area and instead of hitting his usual celebration, he went for the ball. there were shocked gasps around her along with a roar of cheer when he ran around with the ball under his shirt and sent a heart her way. everyone instantly put the pieces together — after all there weren’t many possibilities what it could signify — and immediately they all turned towards her.

“don’t tell me…” her mother trailed off in shock and amara nodded, grinning widely.

“surprise,” she exclaimed, a cheeky smile adorning her face. she lifted the sweatshirt a bit and revealed her four-month old belly that she had been hiding for the past month now.

fayza immediately pulled her into a hug, kissing amara’s temple gently. “félicitation ma fille. oh je suis tellement contente.” — congraulation, my daughter. i’m soo happy

one by one, they hugged her, all expressing their felicitations. even the others that were around to support their player on the pitch threw a happy congratulations towards her.

“how far along are you?” her father asked her, pulling his daughter in for another hug.

she smiled into the hug, the feeling of home spreading through her body. “nearly five months now. i finished my first trimester a few weeks ago.”

“now it makes sense why you couldn’t go out with me,” alice realized and amara sent a wink in her direction.

“how could you keep this from us?” her mother asked in a shocked tone, looking at her daughter incredulously. “amaghị m ma m ga-akụ gị maka idobere m ya ka ọ bụ naanị nwee obi ụtọ. ihe a abughi ihe i zonari nne gi ada.” — i don't know whether i'm supposed to hit you for keeping it from me or just be happy. this is not something you hide from your mother.

amara shrugged. “it was our little secret.”

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

amara.imani and k.mbappe

liked by liyah_clark, achrafhakimi and 26.304.752 others

amara.imani secret is finally out. the reason i had to cancel the second leg of my tour. i’ll back soon but in the meantime, baby imani-mbappé is coming

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liyah_clark the audacity to not tell your best friends that we’re becoming aunts

graceywood can’t believe she hid it from us 😔, i think we don’t mean anything to her anymore

amara.imani I APOLOGIZED ALREADY

amara.imani i even told you the gender, what more do you want?

username project mbappe is officially starting

username man really said, i’m starting my own mini-me

psg félicitation a vous deux ❤️💙

equipedefrance félicitation de toute l'équipe de france

username news of the year

antogriezmann félicitation mon frère

sza i can’t waittttt

kipembe3 la bébé de la team va avoir un bébé, trop hâte

paulpogba kyks le daron, qui aurait cru

cynthia_e so excited to become an aunt to this angel

username please say sike

username i don’t wanna lose my (imaginal) wife

username omg now it makes sense why she was always spotted in sweatshirts

kehlani ohh i’m gonna be auntie kehlani soon 🥹

charles_leclerc new member to the amara imani squad

landonorris best news of the week

graceywood auntie grace is ready for her duties

liyah_clark auntie liyah and uncle charles report for duties too

username i’m not even mad anymore she canceled her tour

username fr, i’m too excited for this

achrafhakimi finally. it was so hard keeping it a secret and not telling you i knew

amara.imani how did you know?

achrafhakimi you never decline a glass of red wine

username omg they’re gonna be parents 🥹🥹

tchaga_ felicitations a vous deux. je vous souhaite le meilleur

k.mbappe 🫶🏾

the news had spread like a wildfire and even people who weren’t interested in the football or music industry knew that amara imani was pregnant. their names had been mentioned in every article for three weeks straight, wondering over the gender of the baby and when exactly it could maybe arrive. her phone was now silent everyday to drown out the constant vibrations of notifications. it was spammed with articles and posts mentioning her — everyone had something to say about her pregnancy.

even players she hadn’t ever interacted with had slid into her dms to wish her and kylian well. not to forget the french national team who had called to congratulate them as well. they had instantly launched a group call, to also include those who played overseas and wished their two friends well. everyone bombarded her with questions about the impending arrival of their baby — their new protégé as they liked to call it now. a warm feeling spread through her body as she thought about the way, their baby already had so many uncles that loved their coming bundle and would help them. they were a big family after all.

as she advanced in her pregnancy and her bump grew bigger, kylian also grew more protective around her. he didn’t allow her to lift a finger to do anything around the house anymore except go to pee. he cooked now and send his mother to drop off food when he was busy or away for a game. his chauffeur had now become something like their housekeeper, occasionally checking in on her when she was home alone. kylian had even hired her a personal shopper that would go shopping for her when she didn’t feel like online shopping. he was doing everything to protect her from doing too much.

and amara understood where he was coming from so she couldn’t even be mad at him. after their latest doctor’s appointment, where they had been told that there was a risk of giving birth prematurely, her own fears had reappeared again. they had never truly left her but now they were living in her brain again. her pregnancy had already been complicated with her uterus apparently refusing to grow to give the baby more space. she had been told it was a protective response of her body after a certain kind of trauma she must have endured — a trauma that her body now refused to live again so it took protective measures. she had been ordered two weeks of bed rest and after that, to do the most to go easy on her body. spare it from hard work.

seven months into what should have been the happiest time of her life and she found herself afraid of her own body and what could happen if she gave birth prematurely. she had worked through the fears concerning her career and now she would have to manage the fears of not being ready to give birth.

and adding to that fear that hovered over her now, pregnancy had also become harder for her. what had seemed to be a small curve before now looked like a midsized watermelon shoved into her stomach. the toll on her body became more prominent now — daily ingestions of vitamins, eating twice the amount of what pregnant women usually consumed — measures like that had become routines for her. she had been warned of a complicated pregnancy but none of what she had been told measured up to what she was feeling.

nonetheless, her pregnancy was also marked with good moments, happy moments where both just got ready for parenthood. moments that had put light on the situation they were living in at the moment. painting the room had been a day where they had created lots of memories they cherished. the singer had been visiting friends of hers who had been staying in the city of love and had come home to find kylian with a screwdriver in his hand while achraf was reading him the instructions for the crib.

“you’re supposed to put it like this.”

“i’m doing that. it won’t go in.”

the two hadn’t even noticed her arrival their focus laying purely on the crib. turned out, he had left training early and had dedicated the entire day to constructing the crib and getting the room finished. her heart had grown twice its size that day. there were so many memories they had already created in that room (looking past their messy make-out session because she was feeling horny) and painting the room of their coming bundle of joy was just an addition to that.

the realization of parenthood and their new addition to the family had somehow wriggled into their lives. during her first trimester, she had pushed the thought of pregnancy at the back of her head, hoping to procrastinate everything that concerned it. now she was excited for the arrival of their little bean and was planning each detail as finely as she could. they were navigating their way around it with the new flow of emotions they were experiencing. as she progressed and her bump became bigger, so got the question about the name their unborn child would carry. it was clear to both of them that their baby would not carry a double-name; they held no importance if the only place where they appeared was on official documents. they would settle on a single name their baby would be known through the world.

he had the entire world scream his name and wear it on their shirts to express their support for him, she had people sing her music all over the world and express themselves to it. both names carried big weighs all around the world and no matter which name it got, there would always be expectations that would have to be reached. yet she sensed that it was more important for him — the matter of the name. so they chose mbappé for their last name. but the problem of the forename still linged.

that’s how they found themselves awake in bed at four in the morning with the question of the name preventing them from sleeping (in addition to amara craving for tacos at two in the morning). they were surrounded by baby name books while their phones had websites for baby names open.

“what do we think of kylian mbappe jr?” he proposed jokingly, grinning at her as he stole another of her sweet potato fries.

she rolled her eyes. “of course, why not? and while we’re already at it, why not instantly start project mbappe and put it into the academy instantly after i give birth?”

he held his hands up on surrender. “it was just a suggestion.”

“a stupid one,” a small giggle left her lips as she declines his proposition. she was kind of glad that he wasn’t stressing so much about the pregnancy as much as she was now. one of them needed to be the easy parent and she knew it was just in her nature to be the stricter person.

“what about… malouanne ?” he read out loud from his phone which earned him a pillow thrown his way. “what? it’s a mix of the names marie, louise and anne. fits perfectly if you ask me.”

“as beautiful as the name may sound, do you want our kid to be bullied at school?” amara instantly retorted back, continuing to read in her book to find a name.

that was how they spend the night, searching for names that would fit their little human and create their identity. the question of the name was always a difficult one because somehow nothing seemed to fit. nothing was enough for their baby. they were looking for a name that just screamed their bundle of joy; that upon hearing it would immediately make them think of it.

“should we add a middle name?” he asked her, putting his phone down to look at her. his hand instantly placed itself on her stomach, stroking it gently. “should we give you a middle name,” he asked softly towards the stomach. a smile made its way on his face when he felt a kick at the spot where his hand laid and amara hissed slightly.

“i think we need a middle name,” kylian told her slyly. “our little bean clearly agrees with me.”

“they agrees on everything with you. i swear i have a daddy’s girl in my stomach.”

her boyfriend grinned at her, cradling her stomach. “well, they are their father’s child” his grin widened when he felt a kick again.

she shook her head in disbelief but knew he was right. bidding him goodnight and placing a last small kiss on his lips, she waltzed a bit around to find the perfect position to sleep in. with her belly growing, so did the matter of finding a good position to sleep in but the huge pregnancy pillow that kylian had bought her seemed to help. still it didn’t take away the ordeal of finding the position. she was nearly asleep, her mind already drifting away when kylian finally closed the books and turned off the light. his hand wrapped around her waist to feel closer to her as he got comfortable in bed.

she had nearly missed his suggestion, already dozing off when she heard his voice. it was barely above a whisper but loud enough to hear.

“i think ada would suit her perfectly as a middle name in case it’s a girl. the perfect mix of you. and you said you wanted to honor your mother.”

needless to say that she fell asleep with a smile on her face. one problem less now in what was supposed to be the happiest time of her life.

a sharp pain shot through her body. she had been seated on the couch, excitingly watching kylian play when suddenly all she could focus on was the feeling of agony that spread through her body. she tries to ignore it but it’s stronger than her. her hands immediately go down to hold her bump as she leans forward, pain rushing through her entire body and making it impossible to think. her mind is consumed with the feeling of crucifying agony and she can’t think of anything else.

as quick as it comes, it subsided again and she takes a deep breath, trying to regain her composure— before it starts all over again. her first thoughts are that she’s experiencing preparation labor — the famous braxton hicks, that her doctor had warned her of and that she had been victim to during her seventh month. but this pain felt different. the match had been long forgotten as she found herself on the floor, tears starting to fall down her cheeks. her body felt weak, too heavy for her to carry to even try to sit up. the salty substance of her eyes had already started to stain the white carpet and she was able to taste her tears. her eyes travel around the room, as she looks for her phone and desperation fills her as she sees it on the other side of the room, charging. she tries to get up, to at least manage to crawl to it but another pain prevented her.

her eyes close, too weak to have them open as soft sobs leave her trembling lips. she’s wallowing in pain, hoping that someone will find her; that kylian will come home soon. she had always been afraid of giving birth in bad conditions, especially as she was early and her due date was supposed to be in two weeks. her arms wrapped around her stomach as she tried to comfort herself by whispering sweet encouragements, hoping that they would at least help her calm down a bit. but the pain did not leave her.

she doesn’t know how long she’s suffering in agonizing pain when she suddenly hears the apartment door opening and someone entering. pearls of sweat are running down her forehead as she’s compressed to the floor, her arms hugging her belly close to her. the solitude had amplified her situation, made it worse as fears had taken over her mind; the fear of having to give birth alone. and she couldn’t be mad at kylian. after all, the due date was supposed to be in two weeks and even that was much earlier than expected. she tries to ignore the pain and at least try to lift her head to see who just came in but the waves of pain that stream through her body are stronger. like electric waves rushing through her body and hitting her everywhere.

it’s his driver that gives her a bit of hope again when she hears his voice. he immediately rushed towards her, kneeling down as he took in the scene.

“i don’t… i don’t want to give birth..” she managed to croak out, pain preventing her from speaking clearly. her voice was filled with agony as small sobs left her lips. "je veux kylian.” — i want kylian

there was no hesitation, no time to panic or doubt. she was sobbing as she tried to catch her breath while he swiftly retrieved his phone to dial the emergency services. while his other hand held the phone, the other was softly stroking her back, hoping to transfer some solace to her. a bystander would have interpreted the scene in front of them completely different but right now, it comforted amara. calmed her down knowing she wasn’t going through this alone anymore.

he also called kylian but he soon realized it was of little avail, when his eyes caught the screen where the camera had just zoomed on the french striker. the feeling of desperation now seemed to have caught onto him too as he quickly grabbed amara’s phone to place another urgent call. this time to his brother who had not been selected for the match. their call was not very long, only sharing the most important details. his heart lightened a bit when he saw the sudden substitution of kylian. but the feeling of relief was as quickly gone as it came when his eyes fell on the woman next to him, who seemed to take the pain harder with every second that passed.

staying conscious started to become hard for her. she felt a bit of relief when the medics had finally arrived, instantly carrying her to bring her to the closest hospital. but he was still not there and it freaked her out. she couldn’t give birth alone. not without him. there was chaos around her, several voices as she was rushed into the hospital and yet her brain only focused on one thought: she needed him here. she had been put into a private room to not attire a lot of attention as they were aware of her identity. they had told her she would soon be ready for the next phase of this journey but she didn’t want to start it. not without him so even though her body was killing her, she held onto the pain till he would be there.

they tried to calm her down as her contractions intensified but it was to no avail. she needed him to be there and hold her hand. be her sanctuary to guide her through her fears. every reassurance that was spoken to her didn’t mean anything to her cause they weren’t whispered by his lips. she wanted him and no one else.

kylian had instantly run to the changing rooms to get his things as soon as he had been informed of the news. there was confusion at first, when he suddenly saw his number on the changing boards but the small explanation from his coach was enough to suddenly hug enrique and rush out as quickly as possible.

there was no time to care about any traffic rules. she was more important. they were what mattered now. short messages had been sent to his families to inform them of the situation before he ran into the hospital, looking to support his girlfriend during this important moment. he didn’t care whether he hadn’t parked right or how many speed limits he had crossed, all he wanted was to hold amara’s hand.

from the reception desk he had instantly been taken to her room where he rushed to her and engulfed her into a close hug. he had seen her in so many states before but this was new to him. unknown territory like each time he went to play on an adversary’s side that he had never crossed paths with. his heart hurt as he took in her appearance; her face scrunched together because of the crucifying pain, the sweat pearls that rolled down her face along with her tears and the small sobs that left her trembling lips. amara was truly in pain.

“t’es- tu est la…” she managed to croak out before another sharp flash of pain shot through her, making her scream in agony. — you’re … here

he wiped her tears from her face and pressed a soft kiss onto her cheek, able to taste the salty taste of her tears. his heart broke as he thought about all the time she must have spent here without anyone close to her and in pain. she had always been scared of facing labor alone, just the thought of it made her doubt everything but he had always been able to calm her down. promises had been exchanged when she had longed for the reassurance that no matter what came, he would always be there for her— in this moment. she would never have to go through this alone.

“je suis venu le plus vite possible,” he mumbled, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. hoping that the solace and feeling of warmth the act usually transferred would calm her down a bit. she cried again, this time though she wasn’t sure whether it was due to his presence or the pain that her body had to endure at the moment. — i came as quick as possible

he lifted their intertwined hands to meet his lips and pressed a kiss on it. “je te l’avais promis. je serai là.” — i promised you. i will be there.

she nodded, another contraction hitting her and preventing her from speaking. her body was overwhelmed with emotions; pain, fear. comfort all present in her body. a bit of solace had been found from kylian being there but the feeling disappeared when the doctor came in agan. when she announced that it was showtime and should have to push now. there was no going back, no time to have second thoughts. it was all happening in this instant now.

labor was hard. jolts of pain were shooting through her body in short periods and each time she had to push through them. she didn’t care if the entire hospital heard her screams or whether she was breaking kylian’s entire hand with the amount of force she was squeezing it. she couldn’t see anything except pain. and what her desperate even more was the fact that nothing seemed to change.

the nurses and doctors were telling her that she was doing a fantastic job but she still felt as if she hadn’t even pushed once. as if nothing had changed. no matter how much she pressed.

“you’re doing so well ma belle,” kylian encouraged her as another of her screams pierced through the room. “you’re so close.”

“why doesn’t it feel like this?” she yelled out in pain, tears streaming down her cheeks. she was hot, her forehead was sweaty and her body felt weak. she couldn’t push anymore.

“miss, you’re nearly done. we can already see the head,” their doctor tried to motivate her. “we just need two more big pushes.”

her surroundings drowned out as she gathered all the strength that was left in her body to push. everything around her became blurry, colors, shapes, persons. her mind was too tired to make her sight clear and she had no energy left anymore to try to focus.

“we need one last push,” they called out to her as she nearly broke down on the bed.

“i’m tired, ky,” she cried tiredly. her eyes barely open. she looked desperately at him. “it hurts so much. i can’t do it anymore. i just want this to be over but it hurts so much,” her sobs left her body and his heart ached as he listened to her.

“t’es la femme la plus courageuse que je connais. et je vais pas te mentir, je ne sais pas dans quelle douleur tu es. mais je sais que tu es la seule à pouvoir le faire. bientôt on aura notre bébé dans le main. one last push and it’s over, okay?” their eyes mirrored every emotion present in the room. the fatigue but also the exhaustion. pain but also love: there was everything. — you’re the strongest woman i know. and i won't lie to you, i don’t know what the pain you’re in feels like. but i know you’re the only one who can do it. soon we’ll have our baby in our hands.

amara nodded as she took a deep breath to push again. she’s clutching kylian’s hand with every last remaining strength as he continues to encourage her. the pain she’s feeling now was much higher than what she experienced the last five hours. suddenly she feels everything. as if her senses have been amplified. there was a sharp pain accompanied by an agonizing scream and suddenly there's a new voice in the room.

she’s asked to hold her arms out as kylian’s eyes fill with tears and all of sudden she’s holding her baby. their little girl. the joy of their life they’ve been dying to meet.

her eyes are filled with tears as the realization hit her. all the pain is suddenly forgotten, as if it never existed. now her body’s only consumed with happiness. she’s crying hysterically as her baby continues to let out cries. the sign of life. that everything was going well. she didn’t need to look at him to know that he was crying as well.

every of her muscles is feeling exhausted when they take their new child away to do its first medical care. kylian himself wasn’t one to often feel very emotional but when he had been asked to cut the chord that had connected amara and their bundle of joy for nine months. she’s finally here and he suddenly understood the feeling of surrealism that amara had told him about.

after the first checks had been done, their daughter had been placed into her arms again. and somehow she must have had still some liquid in her body as her eyes began to water again when she truly held her daughter for the first time.

“she doesn’t seem like a faith,” amara whispered, holding her daughter who was covered in a soft, fluffy, pink blanket. she had opened her eyes for the first time and again, a few years left her eyes when she stared into her daughter’s beautiful eyes. they had her eye shape but all she saw looking into them was kylian. she had inherited her father’s eyes. the fact that she could reference to kylian as dad now spread a new kind of warmth through her body.

“no. it kinda feels wrong,” he agreed. as he gently trailed a finger over her delicate face, he couldn’t help but fall more in love with the woman in front of him. he had always known that he would always love her, no matter in which reality they found themselves. and he had fallen in love with every one of her versions. and now he found himself falling for her new role. he had fallen deeply for amara in her role as mom. he couldn’t believe he had ever doubted. she was perfect. “what was the second name we chose again?”

“are you talking about anaïs?”

kylian’s smile grew bigger as he continued to stare at his daughter. he had learned the meaning of infinite love with amara but the term of unconditional love. it was this small human that taught him what it meant. what people were talking about when they talked about loving someone unconditionally. “yeah. i think she looks more like an anaïs.”

and looking at her, amara understood. she had stopped crying and was looking at her, as if she was taking in her new surroundings. she had been removed from the safe comfort of her mother’s womb and had now to get used to the outside. “anaïs-ada mbappe. welcome into the world.”

she pressed a soft kiss to her cheek before turning to look at kylian and both smiled. they had done it.

“t’es prête papa?” she asked him teasingly and motioned for him to step closer. “take off your shirt. it’s your time now.” — are you ready papa

she was tired. exhausted. there was fatigue written all over her face and yet her face still wore a smile as she watched kylian take off his shirt to have his first skin-to-skin with their daughter. he gently took anaïs out of her hands and sat down on the bed next to her.

he had her cradled against his chest, the warmth of his chest spreading was a connection between them. an expression of love sacred to only them. their phones were vibrating but they ignored it. only their little family mattered now. “salut ma princesse,” he whispered to her softly as she wrapped her hand around his finger. “moi, je suis ton papa. et je t’aime tellement.” — hello my princess. i’m your dad. and i love so much.

their tiny miracle was held in his warm embrace as time around them seemed to pause. no one else existed in their bubble that shielded them from reality going on outside. it was only them. and somehow, as they held their daughter in their hands, the idea of parenthood didn’t seem so scary anymore. amara fell happily asleep, knowing that they were going to do this chapter together.

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

amara.imani and k.mbappe

liked by achrafhakimi, graceywood and 28.763.541 others

k.mbappe bienvenue au monde anaïs mbappé

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it was their first day at home. and with the first day also came the first night and the first cries.

it still felt so unreal to them how they had left their home as two and had come back with another person. their family addition that represented the proof of their love. putting her down for the first time in her room filled the air with a warm atmosphere. there was so much love around them as she placed anaïs in her bed after putting her to sleep. a small light of the nightlight they had bought cast a yellowish glow around the room, revealing a few of the fine details they had put into the room. their eyes did not leave their daughter, they were too much in awe of what they had created.

she’s woken up by anaïs’ soft cries in the night. a quick glance at the small clock next to the bed told her it was just one in the morning. she’s tired and every bone is begging her to stay in bed but her motherly intuition prevents her. turning, she saw kylian still sleeping profoundly next to her as she gets up to calm down their daughter.

“you’re hungry, aren’t you,” she asked her daughter in a gentle tone as she picked the small baby up and sat down with her on an armchair next to the crib. she thanked kylian’s brilliance for having had the idea of installing one next to the crib. “ça va, maman est là. maman va s’occuper de toi,” she soothed anaïs’ cries as she got ready to feed the little human in her arms. — it’s okay, mummy here. mummy is gonna take care of you

just as she had predicted, hunger had been the cause for her awakening as she watched anais latch onto her breasts, hands grabbing onto each side. her cries quickly subsided as the little girl got fed while amara tenderly stroked her cheek. she waited for a bit longer after making sure anais had burped and rocked her little princess back to sleep before joining her own bed again. she couldn’t even find it in herself to be mad at the way kylian was sleeping so profoundly, as if he hadn’t heard her cries. it was her first time experiencing motherly intuition and tending to her responsibilities. she placed a soft peck on his forehead before falling asleep again, her mind drifting away before she had even truly placed down her head on the pillow.

the second time anais woke up, it was kylian who tended to her needs. amara stirred, ready to get up but the french striker tells her to go back to sleep. that she was already exhausted enough and her body needed some rest. after changing her diaper, he instantly took off his shirt before picking up his daughter and putting her close to his chest. immediately her cries stopped when she felt her father’s warmth and comfort as his fingers gently brushed against her head. they stood in the same position for the next thirty minutes before anais fell asleep again, their small bond blossoming through moments like this. amara’s still heavily asleep when he slips back into bed again, wrapping his arm around her waist to find sleep again.

but his sleep didn't last for very long before they heard her cries again. this time though they had managed to find three more hours to sleep with the clock indicating that it was already eight in the morning. amara was about to get up to look after their daughter when kylian grabbed her hand, motioning for her to stay in bed.

“you went last time,” amara muttered tiredly, already looking for her slippers but kylian shook his head.

“go back to sleep cherie,” he interjected, putting a shirt on. “you need it more than me.”

“your holidays are over tomorrow. if anyone needs sleep it’s you.”

he shrugged, standing up and ready to go look after anais. “and you just gave birth a week ago. repose toi un peu,” he convinced her and she nodded, knowing it was useless to argue with him. she gave him a last kiss before closing her eyes again, fatigue instantly taking over. she didn’t know what had been the matter this time but since her cries quickly stopped at the sight of her father, she knew he had everything under control, her instincts could relax as she slept a bit more. — get some rest

she woke up to an empty bed the next morning. it’s the feeling of coldness next to her that managed to bring her out of her sleep even though she was still tired. she knows that kylian must be around somewhere with anaïs but she enjoyed staying in bed for the first time since she gave birth. regain all her forces.

there was an instant smile on her face when she saw her daughter in kylian’s hands while walking out their bedroom. her heart grew twice its size when spotted them on the sofa with kylian talking to her and anaïs having her eyes wide open. as if she was understanding or at least trying to follow what her father was telling her.

“regarde qui s’est réveillée,” he said softly to his daughter, noticing amara’s presence. “tu as vu maman?” — look who woke up

— did you see mummy?

“vous êtes trop beau ensemble,” she greeted him with a kiss as she sat down next to him and reached for their daughter. anaïs calmly got comfortable in her mother’s arms, not making much of a fuss as she got ready to eat. — you’re too beautiful together

she had a fond smile adorning her lips, looking at her daughter. this tiny human being that changed their lives around. even though she was only a week old, they could already recognize that she was her father’s photocopy. that she would be his except for the shape of her eyes. the one thing anaïs had inherited from her.

“t’es la femme la plus forte que je connais. je ne sais pas comment t’as fait. comment tu fais…,” he told her completely in awe which made amara chuckle. — you’re the strongest woman i know. i don’t know how you did it, how you do it

“et toi tu es l’homme le plus beau, magnifique de toute cette terre. no one i would rather have than you as the father of my baby. — you’re the most beautiful, amazing man on this earth

“she makes everything better,” kylian chuckled as he got up to prepare breakfast for them.

amara nodded, softly cradling her daughter while she breastfed her. her small little hands were placed firmly (as firm as they could be for a one week old) as she drank the breast milk.

“weird how i’m ready to go to war for someone i’ve practically known a week. and yet she’s the answer to everything.”

he understood that feeling better than anyone. if the world turned around him before, now his world turned around her. he was ready climb mountains, cross jungles or put the world on fire if it was necessary for his daughter’s happiness. he would do anything for her. “i love you two more than anything.”

his eyes held that famous sparkle as he spoke and amara leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. in the span of a week their lives had changed and they had been thrown into the world of parenthood. the one thing no matter how much one studied, there was never the perfect preparation. one would never know how parenthood actually worked out till they were parents. it was a new path to life.

amara and kylian had each other to overcome the hills and rocks that may have been put onto their way. anaïs was the confirmation of what they had always been. a family. their bubble was finished and perfect now. they had everything they needed.

taglist: @lorarri @aechii

[rageprufrock]

I had to write this down so it would stop being inside of my brain--devil judge stupidity

I have a clinical dx that proves I lack the emotional self regulation to stop myself from doing stupid things and I just really really want to write something funny okay!!!! No clue if this is going anywhere. I have approx 100 ideas right now and can't be held responsible for my actions.

Actually, the whole thing is Elijah's fault, because if she exercised any of the restraint she used on the Korean-speaking internet for her English language shitposting accounts, they wouldn't be in this mess at all.

That said, she'll argue to the death that if her shitty uncle is going to subject her to his sweaty, old man chest and walk around the house after one of his workouts dripping sweat with his workout pants half-hanging off of his ass, she's going to shame him like truth coming out of her Instagram.

Unfortunately, the general reaction to her caption ("god my uncle is so gross") turns out to be a tsunami of absolutely unhinged horny commentary from a community she'd previously believed to be upright, clear-minded young women with promising careers in STEM. There's a run on eggplant emojis. There are so many eyeballs. Prayer hands left and right. People are calling Yohan "daddy" in sixteen languages.

It's funny in an absolutely repulsive way, and here, even Elijah has to admit to culpability, because in retrospect, when someone had commented, "so can your auntie fight?" she absolutely should not have posted a picture of Gaon from his army service, sun bronzed with his arms out, and said, "lol yeah."

Yohan works approximately 18 hours a day with breaks for the gym, to psychologically torture her over dinner, and an hour where Elijah puts on her noise canceling headphones and assiduously does not listen to whatever the fuck is happening down the hall in his bedroom. But he's also the nosiest, most intrusive person on the face of the earth with a squadron of terminally online assistants so it's only a matter of time before he's going to find out he's now internet famous and that there's an AO3 tag for "hot uncle/soldier boy (not The Boys)" and destroys all of her electronic equipment.

Gaon, who hasn't logged into social media in like three years, could feasibly go to his grave not knowing--except that he works in the juvenile court system which means she's not totally surprised when he comes home on Tuesday with a weird look on his face and says:

"Elijah, I think we've been hacked," he says, because he's a genuinely nice person who must have committed some kind of heinous crime in a past life to attract Kangs left and right. "I think someone got into our phones, or our wifi. One of my clients showed me a post today that looks like someone stole a CCTV picture of Yohan, and then posted some old picture from when I was in the army."

Elijah is listening with an active grimace on her face, trying to decide what to say and how to say it, when the SmartHome speaker crackles to life and Yohan's voice echoes out of it, saying:

"Kang Elijah, did you out Gaon and I with your fake instagram."

[vicky-0933]

Muzzled one

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You are a maid of House Dimitrescu, but you were not normal maid, you were a maid with a muzzle, others think how can you do things with a muzzle on your face. Let’s go back a bit shall we, a few years ago you stumbled upon the castle, looking for help because you need it, you went inside thinking that it was abandoned.

You tried to run but one of the girls got you, you bite her hard in the hand and she yells, letting you go, this happened one more time, making two of three girls mad, then the three of them got you and put a muzzle on you, making sure you didn’t bite them. They took you to a women, who was very tall, had curves, red lips, and yellow eyes.

“Who do we have here?” The tall lady asked, one of girls told her everything and told her why you had a muzzle. “She bit you, thinking that she can get away from it” The lady said, as grabbing your face and making you look at her. You take in her details, how beautiful she looks. “She will be a maid here, Cassandra and Bela get her room ready, we will keep a close eye on her, for now” the lady said.

Two of the girls left and one was left, but she leaves too, so it was you and the tall lady, “My name is Alcina, but you will call me my lady, understand, also you will not take off the muzzle unless I do it for you, understand that also.” Alcina said. You nod, she then calls in a maid and asked her to take her with you because you are the new maid. The maid takes you and asked “What’s your name”.

“Yn, my name is Yn and yours” you say, “My name is Jennifer, but you can call me Jenni” Jenni said. She takes you to your room, tells you about your uniform, and that she will make your chores list for you. She then leaves, you take in the room that has been given to you, you see a book and start reading, and checking out the rest of the room, you get hungry and go to see if you can get food until the door is open and see and other maid with food.

“Ah so your the new maid, wow you did something g really bad huh” the maid asked you. You nod, you were going to ask her name but she left before you could. You tried to eat, kinda making it, but then soon, you fall asleep, uncomfortable not used to the muzzle, starving but you manage to sleep. You wake up to see your uniform on the edge of the bed and a note. You get up, and go to the end of the bed, to see the note. ~here is your chores list. From Jenni~.

You put on your uniform and start heading to do the first chore. You see Jenni and the other maid from yesterday, you say hello and asked them for help. Apparently the name of the other maid was Sophia. They both tell you what you have you then leaving you alone to do your chores. You felt someone watching but when you turned there was no one there.

Over the next few days, you had gotten used to the muzzle and not eating a lot because of it, making you lose a bit of weight. But you also noticed that the lady has been watching you lately, and you felt kinda happy. You started to have a crush on her, but you didn’t have a good impression on the first day, biting her daughters, not good.

Jenni and Sophia knew about this and kept it a secret, knowing the way you both were introduced. You started to get to do chores that were away from the lady, but soon Jenni and Sophie started asking questions about your chores and you kinda stayed quiet but kinda of told them, and they told you about something’s about the lady, and why you could charm her. As they tried to talk to you about it, you were shocked about how they know, you three didn’t realize that the lady was listening to you.

Now let’s get back to the present day, you are taking in the firewood that you just cut to the in the main room, until Cassandra flew in, “Mother wants to talk to you when you are done with this” Cassandra says, you nod and put the wood in the the fireplaces that are needed then head out to lady’s room.

You make it towards the door and knock, “Come in” you hear, you open the door and walk in to see Alcina sitting down reading a book. “You called for me my Lady” you say, she looks at you with an angelic look but you don’t look at her. “Yes I did, please come here” she announced, you walk to her getting next her side. She then grabs your waist, bringing you to her lap, making you yelp in surprise, blushing, you take her in beautiful face.

You were so into your mind that you hadn’t realized that Alcina took off the muzzle, which scared you a bit, mainly because you hadn’t took it off in 3 years. You felt the air hit your face, you felt relieved, you touched your face, feeling how free you are until Alcina grabbed your face to make you look at her. She took her time, looking at you, but you fell harder for her. You didn’t have a crush, you were in love with her.

“What beautiful face you have” Alcina said, you blush harder, and not wanting Alcina to see you, you tried to look away but she kept you still. You looked at the golden yellow eyes and seeing how pretty they look, then her grip tightened bringing you closer to her face, you looked down to her lips then her eyes again, then your lips touched hers, you deepened the kiss making her moan, she gripped your hips as you grab her face.

The kiss was angelic, you both pull away poking at each other with lustful eyes, “Shall we continue this” Alcina said, “Yes my lady” You say grinding your hips on to hers, “Alcina, dear call me Alcina” She said, hearing you moan wanting more friction. “Alcina, p~please, please I~ I need, I need you” you moan, she then start kissing your neck making love bites. She then takes you to the bed, laying you down on the bed.

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Part2???