#also the music is so fucking good but i cannot find it anywhere i wanna die

[lovechoerrymagic]

just watched the best most amazing movie of all time and theres nothing for me to reblog about it. sad

[haik-choo]

karasuno boys as boyfriends

a/n: im just basically astral projecting myself into these situations; ALSO if you want more detailed ones, just ask, and you shall receive! (also this is my first post i’ve written on here! but if you want plenty of kpop content i’m @hyucksong where i’ve been writing and I am still active! :))

---

[KARASUNO BOYS AS BOYFRIENDS HEADCANNONS]

-tsukishima, yamaguchi, hinata, kageyama, tanaka, nishinoya, sugawara, daichi, and asahi

---

tsukishima kei.

the type to look you straight in your eyes when you ask for a hug and say “no, who do you think i am, your boyfriend?”

runs his hands through your hair from the front and then when his hand reaches the back of your head he pulls you into him and kisses you either on the forehead or the lips <3

in order to be in a relationship with him you HAVE to have the same type of humor.

i don’t think he could date someone who doesn’t make fun of people with him

you guys are like best friends who make fun of each other and. make out a little every once in a while

he’ll hold your hand and hug you in public but he will NEVER do anything else, especially not in front of the boys

he thinks the blush that ignites on your kissable cheeks should be for his eyes only

he gave you a keychain that had a cute little strawberry shortcake on it. and it’s your most prized possession 

will shoot a glare at anyone who watches you too closely. like no. don’t get googly eyed over MY girlfriend. 

and you don’t have a problem with that ;) 

yamaguchi tadashi.

he likes to watch you when you’re not looking to pick out the little habits you do

he thinks that knowing someone’s little hardly noticeable habits is one of the most intimate things on mother earth

he knows that you stir the milk in the bowl three times before you pour the cereal in to check for chunks because you accidentally drank spoiled milk when you were younger

NEVER has an issue getting you a gift for any occasion. he ALWAYS knows what you’re looking at and what you want and you lowkey think he can read your mind but in reality he just pays attention <3

you’re either just as shy as him to bring out his more assertive side or more assertive than he is to bring out his more timid side -- both are good

kisses you on the forehead and holds your hand in public -- he loves PDA because he can show you off :’)

yes. he kisses the back of your nape in public. so what. 

YES. HE CLOSES HIS EYES WHEN HE DOES IT AND ACCIDENTALLY INHALES YOUR SCENT AND WHISPERS IN YOUR EAR THAT YOU SMELL GOOD. IDC IF YOU THINK THAT’S CREEPY. IT’S CUTE. YES. HE GIVES YOU THAT LOOK THAT SAYS HE’S CRAZILY IN LOVE WITH YOU. SO WHAT.

kageyama tobio.

he probably fell in love with you because you were just as passionate about something else as he is about volleyball; music, drawing, writing, math, science, reading -- whatever

i see this relationship as being one that’s like...accelerated friends. like,,, you act like him and hinata except you kiss sometimes and he can see you at the end of the wedding aisle

DEFINITELY reads cosmopolitans once you start dating because he wants to be a good boyfriend for you <3

PDA is literally little to NONe,,, not because he doesn’t like it...it’s just because he doesn’t realize that he’s not showing you affection lololol

like in one arm he has his athletic duffel bag and the other he has a volleyball

he doesn’t mean to neglect you he just does AGAGAG

realized he liked you when he thought about you when he was drinking his milk and mindlessly bought you one too

the first time y’all kissed. he literally stared at you so intensely for a SOLID ten minutes debating in his head whether or not he should just go for it or wait or just smash his face into yours and hope your lips connect

he chose to cross his fingers and ended up smashing his forehead and nose into yours 

it was cute tho <3

hinata shoyo.

YALL HAVE DATES WHERE YOU BABYSIT HIS SISTER. WTF SO CUTE

when yall cuddle and you’re the little spoon he likes to put his head on your shoulder/between your neck and watch as you scroll through tiktok or instagram and just mindlessly talk about his day 

the type of boyfriend where neither of you can cook and you both confusedly look at recipes on google like: ????? wtf is the difference between brown sugar and regular sugar

it’s his INSTINCT to hold your hand. no matter what. his hand just...gravitates to yous.

AND HIS LIPS JUST FIND YOUR CHEEK??? like it’s so natural to him to kiss your cheek when he sees you, even in public. it’s so adorable i--

THE TYPE OF GUY TO WIPE OFF FOOD FROM THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH AND STILL EAT IT AND SAY “you taste good!~” AND NOT EVEN REALIZE WHAT HE SAID. BUT WHEN YOU DO IT TO HIM HE BLOWS A FUSE

he loves to tickle you. like you’ll be vibing, drinking whatever you drink in the morning and he’ll come up to you all casually and kiss you cheek...and then he’ll pounce 

he holds you close to his chest when he tickles you, partally because he likes feeling your laugh vibrate on his chest, and partially because it’s easier to not get tickled if he’s right behind you

his sister LOVes you and it just. makes him so happy

tanaka ryuunosuke.

you CANNOT remove his hand from your ass. it is permanently glued there. it is attached to you. yes, even in public.

number 1 hypeman! he will always support you, no matter what! you could be in a competition to raise the biggest beetle and he’ll be there rooting you on and staying up late with you as you rear your award-winning beetle

you two lay next to each other on the couch/on his bed and he’ll have his arm around you and you’ll lay your head on his chest as you watch netflix shows

YOU, NISHINOYA, AND TANAKA? UNSTOPPABLE TRIO. POWER TRIPLET. 

i don’t imagine him being shy when he first kisses you; the first time he kissed you, you were literally just. existing and he literally just...couldn’t hold it in...and he just went for it

literally CATAPULTS himself into you and kisses you senseless

yes you and saeko are besties she gives you ALL the tea about young tanaka

the type to take off his shirt more during practice if you’re there watching, and literally BURN red if you mention anything about his muscles

you once traced a vein in his arm and commented on how hot it was and he literally short-circuited 

kiss his biceps. kiss his abs. kiss his cheek. please. it’s all he wants. he’s touch-starved

nishinoya yuu.

SUCH an excited boyfriend

like he seriously gets so hype doing ANYTHING with you pleaSE give this man an award. you’ll be at the amusement park and the line to get into a ride will be three hours and he’ll be like

“I get to spend three hours with you?!! fucking sick! absolutely radical!” 

he’s bold in public, but only because he wants to rub you in his teammates faces, but his ears will be Red

at home, he’s calmer :) he just loves to spend time with you, even if you’re sitting on a bench watching him practice receives for five hours straight in the blazing sun. 

he just treasures your time so much, you treats you like a precious gem -- he will NEVER treat you wrong. deadass has no problem admitting when he’s wrong -- but if he thinks he’s right then he WILL stand his ground

he’s a passionate man, who loves just as passionately.

his favorite time to kiss you is after you’ve taken a sip of a soda because he likes the taste of the syrup and the burn of the carbonation, but most of all because he likes the taste of your lips in combination with all of them

NIPS AT YOUR EAR. DEADASS JUST LOOKS AT YOU BRUSH A PIECE OF HAIR BACK WHEN YOU’RE DOING HOMEWORK AND IS LIKE “free real estate” AND C H O MPS

the day nishinoya told everyone yall were dating, kiyoko stopped you in the hallway and deadass got on her knees and thanked you LITERALLY she was like “i’ll buy you anything. give the word and it’ll be yours.” 

sugawara koushi.

would kiss you on the first date. deadass. he’ll just drop you off at your doorstep and you’re still high on adrenaline, and you’re lowkey hoping he’ll kiss you and you get  little disappointed when he doesn’t and then when you least expect it. bam. his lips on yours

his smell oh god, he literally smells like fresh sugar cookies. it’s like as soon as you get anywhere near him his smell just invades you nose and. you’re powerless. you just wanna hug him

never smells bad. try me, bitch. NEVER.

his hugs are literally god’s gifts. he loves hugging you. he just completely envelopes you with his pretty setter arms and his smell takes up all the space in your head and nothing else exists for that moment, just you two

loves tucking your hair behind your ears or just moving it out of your face; doing homework and your bangs are in the way? not for long because he’ll clip them up for you <3

he’s pretty mischievous and will playfully put his hand next to your head and lean down with such a HOT look in his eyes 

and he’ll say some shit like “i wanna devour you” and then he’ll laugh afterwards and give you a kiss on the forehead and you’re standing there. like -.- o.o -.- o.o

whenever he feels insecure about his position on the team, you’re always there to comfort him and he’ll just lay between your legs and rest his face on your stomach as you comb your fingers through his hair and scroll through tiktok

PDA? yes please. uh huh. mhmm. he doesn’t care who sees his love for you he just wants to love on you baby. kisses you on the lips, no problemo

daichi sawamura.

you and suga are the only ones who can scare him when yall are mad lol

boyfriend where you’ve dated for like a year but it feel like 50 have already passed. in a good way!

this relationship is so ungodly domestic. like from the first day it’s just pure comfort and he’s like your rock and you’re his anchor

you two bicker a lot but it’s lighthearted and you just feel so secure with him that poking fun at him and at yourself is just natural

daichi. gives. god. hugs. he does. it’s fact. 

his arms are just so big and he has so much body warmth and he probably smells like some bullshit cologne like “smoldering woods” and it’s just so. daichi

you two spend the night at each other’s house so often it’s like you already live with each other and people always forget that you don’t lolol

totally sleeps with his shirt off and only with underwear. isn’t awkward about it either;  when he wakes up he puts on sweats but still remains topless (not that you’re complaining)

you two are like. the strict parental couple, when you walk together whether it be down the street or in the hallways, you just look so right for each other it’s. mind blowing

doesn’t mind kissing you a little in public but really thinks that stuff should be for private; so normally he just kisses your temple and always has an arm either around your shoulder or around your waist

WHEN THE TEAM SEES YOU KISS ON THE LIPS THEY GO “EW” EVEN SUGA AND ASAHI AFIEFHEWIF

asahi azumane.

literal fucking teddy bear. god please cuddle him. please kith him. please comb through his hair with your fingers and kiss his nape and kiss the back of his head. please i beg of you.

did NOT ask you out first. he wrote love letter to you and then waiting behind the gym because he thought being near the volleyball gym would give him some luck and them you got in front of him and he was. deer in the headlights

needless to say you asked him out and kissed his cheek. he DIED

even once yall are comfortable in the relationship he still needs reassurance every once in a while because he’s a little insecure, not that you’ll leave him for someone else, but that he’s not good enough

his PDA skill are. subpar. he usually just holds your hand and that’s it, but sometimes kisses the corner of your eye or nose and you just combust

OH RIOGEH TOTALLY DOES BUTTERFLY AND BUNNY KISSES. YES GOD YESSSSS

when yall cuddle he doesn’t like spooning. he likes to be able to see your face and the expressions you make, so doesn’t like being the little or big spoon; yall face each other and just lets your head lay on his arm even tho it’s numb. im: soft

kisses are so sweet, slow, and hesitant. he doesn’t really kiss you often because he has terrible timing but...when he does it’s like the whole world just becomes still in that moment and nothing matters but his hands on your waist and yours in his hair 

[messybouquetoflilies]

Some about me! Pretty please read this before you message me! including the "keep reading" button. Thank you! ❤️

So first things first, this is a very nsfw blog, so if you're under 18 or anyone who thinks the age of consent is arbitrary, please gtfo. (also please please put your age in your bio if you're going to interact with me)

My old blog is @decadentbouquetoflillies. I’ll probably keep updating it. i just want this one for more customization, and to try to not get flagged again.. we’ll see. But if i really want to post something risque, it’ll be on there. 

Terfs, swerfs, racists, homophobes, transphobes, haters of pronouns in bios, and chasers, please dni. i'm an anti-capitalist, progressive, intersectional sex positivite feminist, gender abolitionist, and i will annoy you greatly.

Second, my posts range from innocent, amazing, wonderful romantic things, to harder kinks such as somno, and cnc. If those things can be triggering to you, please block me cause i don't always tag my posts. Mostly due to tumblr nuking any post that has useful tags such as those... sigh. If there's anything else anyone thinks i should add to that list, please let me know.

Third, i'm trans, but please please pretty fucking please don't sexualize me in that way. Chasers, i'm talking to you. i'm not a hentai character, and i have awful bottom dysphoria. This is also a super limit for me in general. Right now my brain can't handle being touched, or even thinking about being touched anywhere below the waist. i just shut down and feel horrible.

Fourth, feel free to ask me anything! As long as you follow rules one and three. i'm even fine talking about trans stuff, as long as it's educational, and not sexual. i've had to debate my existence my whole life, so i've been come quite knowledgeable about the topic. Most other trans people don't want to answer questions, (which is fine. it's not their job to, and they shouldn't be expected to) but i enjoy it, so ask away. My asks and DMs are open, and i enjoy being flirty, just as long as it doesn't become too sexual.

With that out of the way, some about me:

i'm a 22 y/o pan girl living in the US just outside of Salt Lake City. Pronouns are she/her. i play a lot of video games.. like a lot of video games, and i love love love music. i play the piano, and i have awful trust issues with myself and other people, so i'm keeping myself single for now.

understand that nearly all of the things i post about require a large amount of trust before i'm okay doing them, or even talk about specifically doing them for you. Talk to me like a person before you ask me to do awful horrible things for you please ☺️

my kinks include and may or may not be featured on my blog:

big big oral fixation

Denial (4 years bb)

cnc

tpe

somno

knife play

i just hate decisions tbh, so anything that takes that from me

and i really like being good

(some) degradation

(some) praise

very machoistic

bondage

tbh, just anything that makes other people happy at my expense

and makes it so i don't have to think

(some) pet play. i like collars, some cages, and leashes in some contexts.. uhh yeah..

i don't have a lot of experience exploring kinks, i just know the things i definitely wanna try.

Hard Limits:

Age play (i'll call you mommy/daddy if you reeeeeeeeeally want me to, and only if i really really like you, but that's as far as it goes)

anything related to rule 4

tickling

nothing below the waist. nothing below the waist. NOTHING BELOW THE WAIST.

detransition

degradation related to appearance

food control? (this might be a soft limit, i just have a history of eating disorders so it would have to be done with great care)

beastiality

scat

RP (idk why it's so hard for me but every time i try in even vanilla settings i have mental breakdowns. i literally cannot find an explanation as to why)

and i'm sure there are other things buuut, eh, i'm lazy.

Everything i write, i try to keep as gender neutral as possible, because i really don’t believe the way people physically present matters at all, and i literally don’t care. i just wanna kiss everyone, but also no one at the same time, so hopefully my blog will be inclusive to everyone! Though reblogs are a different story 

anything with me or about me will be tagged #me and or #personal. You will find many dog pictures in those tags. (some) of my posts will be tagged #mine when i'm not lazy about it. Other than that, this blog is mostly just a diary i use to cope. Nothing less and nothing more. :)

[444tsumu]

marssss happy one hundredddd! i’d love to know your take on how iwaizumi, suna, atsumu, & bokuto are like when they’re drunk!

▭ WHAT THEY’RE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE DRUNK.

includes iwaizumi, suna, & bokuto (atsumu’s is here)

warnings explicit language, drinking, implied sexual content

                       𖥻 IWAIZUMI, HAJIME !

seeing iwa drunk is not something that happens often

for a man who barely drinks??

his tolerance is insane

all it takes is that one extra shot though

and he is a goner

his face gets so pink when he’s drunk it’s adorable

becomes very touchy feely

a giant intoxicated softie

BUT

also a raging hormonal legal issue

will go from threatening to pounce on someone who he imagined laughed at him

to crying to oikawa otp over how proud he is of him

yes i hc the s4 to be very emotional to one another when they’re drunk what about it

he likes dark liquor but secretly loves light

he will keep drinking even if he is BEYOND return

he swears he isn’t that drunk

is one of those people that say it over and over again

yet end up having to get carried home

becomes a pretty funny guy once he starts getting tipsy

king of drinking games™

wants to arm wrestle anyone who has as much as their elbow exposed

that usually leads to trouble but he’s hot so no one says anything lol

we all know iwa is a bit of a brute & is a shy man

but when that liquor gets into him?

his dick does all his thinking

is a HUGE flirt

not ashamed to get rejected and move on to the next

but if he has a s/o???

he’s ready to pounce on you in a way that makes him look feral

extremely hot & less responsible so everyone loves how loose drunk iwa is

he was there when mattsun stole the sign

was actually the one who ripped it off but denies every being apart of it and scolds them for it the next day

also gets extremely emotional if any pets are in the vicinity

don’t let this man catch sight of a puppy

                            𖥻 SUNA, RINTAROU !

just like mattsun, it’s hard to tell when he’s drunk

but once suna gets drunk?

he’s a giggly mess who can barely sit still

and no i don’t mean he’s a dancer

he literally cannot sit still

talks a lot with his hands when he’s drunk

loves to bother the twins if they’re around

definitely one of those people that hate drinking but love being drunk

a man of taste so his fav is light liquor

will prefer to take shots over mixed drinks so he gets drunk faster

after like 5 he’s making jokes like it’s a fucking stand up comedy show

doesn’t mind being the center of attention

WILL try to be the person controlling the music

takes videos and pictures of everything

wanna know if you embarrassed yourself?

just ask suna

he probably has 100 videos to use against you

loves bothering people bc it makes him laugh

another one who’s a mean drunk

will roast anyone’s ass if he finds a way to make a joke about them

king of mean nicknames

once he made atsumu cry bc he convinced him his body is too big for his tiny head

will never live that down

when he’s with his s/o though he’s a bit more clingy

gets flustered easily though so he’ll try to hide it

loves it when you cling on to him to help yourself stand upright

even though he’s struggling to see out of his own eyes

when he’s drunk he manspreads

and even though that’s fucking annoying

it’s also really fucking hot because LOOK AT HIM

he does it with his arms up against the back of the seats and his legs just as wide and he always has a stupid ass smirk on his face

who could ever get mad at that??

                        𖥻 BOKUTO, KOUTAROU !

the life of the fucking party

everyone loves sober bokuto

and everyone LOVES drunk bokuto

really big on hugging when he’s drunk

like

will literally hug EVERYONE

doesn’t give a fuck what he’s drinking, as long as everyone else is doing it too

will go out of his way to make sure everyone is having fun

definitely a good dancer

by good i mean amazing

WILL catch it if it is thrown back and WILL throw it back as long as you catch it

definitely a body shot kinda guy

just look at his titties

he’s captain of the shirt off club atsumu is co

he can’t help it though, alcohol makes him hot

definitely has a really loud and boisterous voice

sucks at drinking games but everyone loves him so it’s okay

a fucking beast at beer pong though

only person that beats him in anything is iwa

he can beat iwa in arm wrestling but is too scared to test that out

loves dancing on tables

bartenders hate him, security guards wanna arrest him, women LOVE him, men wanna be him

bokuto’s power >>

sings songs really loud even though he barely knows the lyrics

definitely the type that stumbles but he can hold himself up

doesn’t like to get too drunk, cause then he just gets whiny if he’s barely coherent

if he gets BLACKED OUT?

will fall asleep anywhere and everywhere

wakes up whenever you play the song Promiscuous

like literally

kuroo will request the song just so everyone can laugh at how bokuto gets up already screaming out “HOW YOU DOING YOUNG LADY?”

it’s not a party until bokuto walks in

[leejeongz]

nsfw a-z SEUNGHUN (CIX)

requested: yes, by anon

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

his only priority is you. he gets that things can get a little… spicy, when he’s left to do whatever he wants to you, so taking care of you afterwards is the most important thing for him. you are getting endless amounts of kisses and cuddles and he’s gonna ask if you need anything… like… a lot.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he LOVES your hands. they’re so pretty to him. so pretty when they’re close to his face, or wrapped around his dick, or gripping onto the sheets. he l o v e s them. his way to make sex more romantic is to hold hands where possible, yet another reason why he loves your hands.

for him, it’s his neck. his neck is super sensitive and, alongside his abs, is his favourite place for you to kiss and tease him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

if he can’t cum inside you (which he always wants to do) he’ll make you either swallow it or will finish on your tummy. if any gets on the floor, he’s getting you to lick that up, you better not waste his cum, you’re his (pretty) cum slut after all.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

you once agreed to filming you pair while you did the deed. he kept it for himself to watch and gets off to it most of the time, it never gets old.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i don’t want to put a number on it but he’s definitely not a virgin, far from it. he knows what he’s doing and there’s not much he hasn’t done before. he knows what he likes and he certainly knows where the clit is.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

this man loves morning sex, so spooning is perfect for him. it’s slow, sensual and romantic and you can put in as little effort as you want. he can also grab your neck or your tits or even :D both :D from behind, without him being in an uncomfortable position.

he’s also a fan of standing doggy, even though he’s really tall, he can still find the perfect height and angle to pleasure you at while wrapping his hand around you to rub your clit :).

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he can be a little goofy in the moment but that’s just him being him. it makes the whole situation feel a lot more personal and romantic. he likes to giggle about little things but is also very mature and serious at the appropriate times.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

completely shaved. he thinks it’s more convenient for you when you're sucking his dick (don’t forget the balls) and thinks it looks hotter from his perspective. it’s also a better way to see how much of his dick you really took. he shaves most of the time but honestly, i kinda see him also wanting to wax it to keep the hair away for a longer period of time.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

most of the time, he keeps the sex as romantic as possible and does all the cliche things like holding hands, exchanging kisses and sweet nothings even when it’s getting a little rough, he even lights a candle and puts on music sometimes.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he likes to take his sweet time and edge himself A LOT. he imagines a lot of stuff but most of the time relies on pictures, videos and free stuff online. honestly, i can see him being someone who films himself, he finds it enhances the experience a lot more (and fuels his exhibitionist fantasies ofc).

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

exhibitionism- obviously not in the illegal way. he just likes the possibility of getting caught. he likes sneaking around with you but also giving other people a show. this mostly happens on vacation (if you agree) by pressing you against windows in hotel rooms late at night and fucking you from behind or making you suck his dick in front of the window.

quirofilia (i googled the name lmao)/ hands- he knows he has nice hands and that you like them, especially wrapped around your neck, but he also secretly has a thing for your hands too. handjobs are so underrated but not by this man, he cannot get enough. he likes watching you paint your nails, he likes when you let him pick the colour even more because he imagines what would look the best when they're dragging along his skin.

CHOKING (borderline breath play)- idk if this is a kink but b o y he loves to choke you. there’s nothing he likes more than fucking you in missionary but spicing it up with his hand tightly wrapped around your neck. but he’s not your average choker, he likes to see you struggle (if you both trust each other that is and with a safety gesture). of course he knows that breath play is dangerous, so he wouldn’t take it to the extreme, but hearing the change in your breathing is so HOT to him.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he would do it anywhere lmao he’s not shy of people seeing.

but he really likes the sofa in the living room, it’s comfortable and still in your own home because he knows not everyone is up for fucking in places you might get caught, but still isn’t as “basic” as a bed. there’s also not that much space to “get lost in”since he’s not much of a manhandler, it encourages either of you to sit on the edge most of the time, providing easily access 😜

but as i mentioned above, he loves showing off to anyone who wants to watch. friends houses and hotels are his favourite places to do this.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

i don’t think he’d be turned on by random things, but there are definitely certain things about you that turn him on. like when you put your pen in your mouth while you're thinking or when you lick your fingers after eating food. anything that resembles a blowjob, he’s there begging for some head. or if he looks at your hands while they're holding onto something that looks even a little bit like his dick, he is so ready for a quick handjob.

if you accidentally touch his dick or “accidentally” back up a lil too far when spooning, you’re getting fucked there and then, i hope you’re proud of yourself :p. (but not without him teasing you a little bit beforehand for doing so.)

let’s be real tho, this guy looks at his naked self in the mirror and gets turned on by that… imagine being THAT attractive only seunghun smh

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

there’s not much he wouldn’t do, anything that made you happy made him happy. that being said, i don’t think he’d ever be comfortable with slapping anything that isn’t ur ass. especially not your face, even if it does turn you on or whatever

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

HE LOVES TO RECEIVE. he would do a n y t h i n g to feel your lips wrapped around him whenever, wherever. he just loves getting head. he likes it sloppy and kinda slow, with lots of spit and eye contact. but he expects you to clean the floor afterwards, you made the mess since “you were the one who made him cum” so you clean it, with your tongue 👅gOd he gets so cocky when he hears you complaining that you can’t take it all or when you have a sore throat after sucking his dick, so you do it all the more for some amazing sex hehe. the man loves fucking your face, pulling back and grabbing your chin whenever he’s even just slightly bored,kissing you, then pushing his cock back into your mouth.

he’s not gonna eat you out if you ask him to, he’s going to do it when he wants to do it, when he can SENSE that you want it. he’s pretty good with his lips and likes to give you gentle kisses down there since he knows you’ve probably never experienced that before (given than most men have no fucking clue lol).

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

usually slow, sensual with a healthy sprinkle of fast and rough. the slow pace is also considered a tease, he knows you want it harder, but you’re not getting it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

sometimes they are just what he needs. if he’s horny and there’s not much time to spend dragging out everything, you can bet ur fine ass he’s taking you to the nearest private space and having his way with you. sometimes even just spotting a location to do it in is enough to let his imagination run wild and soon enough, you’re there, getting railed

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he was born to take risks. whatever you want to do, he wants to do too, no matter how risky it is. he’s not shy to bring up anything that he wants to try either and is very open about what he likes. gets most of his ideas from things he’s done before, but he knows they’ll be better this time because they’re with you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

2-3 rounds. there’s nothing stopping him on occasion, he actually shocks you how many rounds he can go for without a break.

all last around 20 minutes and he never skips foreplay hehe.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

if you wanna use them, he’s not fussed. but his ideal sex does not involve any toys. he believes he can do everything you need to be satisfied so why would you need toys? but if you want to introduce them to activities every once in a while, he’ll go along with it, just for you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again… THE BIGGEST TEASE IN KPOP.

he sends you numerous texts describing what he wants to do to you when he knows you're busy, sometimes, if you’re lucky, he might even treat you to a whisper in your ear when you’re in public, something along the lines of “i can’t wait until we get home” followed by a sweet kiss against your cheek. and he loves winking at you. just an innocent wink to everyone else means so much more to you and he knows it gets you wet almost instantly.

your neck is his fav place to tease you, whispering against it and pressing light kisses against it until that alone makes your eyes roll and you moan quietly. that being said, he likes when you tease him too, only he knows he can get away with punishing you for it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

BIG ON DIRTY TALK. “that’s it baby, just a little bit more” “i know you wanna cum, but you’re not going to until i say, right?” “don’t stop, honey, don’t stop” he will say anything at any time, no filter, just whatever feels right.

he’s a little bit of a moaner, quite loud too, but you’re gonna have to do something extra special to get one of those.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

things got real boring real quick when you realised seunghun was engrossed in the tv while you were sucking his dick so you decided now was your chance to show him who was really in charge here.

your figure was now blocking the screen in front of him as you straddled him, there were no distractions for him.

“i was-“ you cut him off mid sentence with a finger pushed against his lips. you took it off and used that hand to guide his dick towards the pool of moisture that had been in between your legs for a while. he smirked slyly and let you continue, enjoying seeing this side of you for once.

although you’d done it many times, you still weren’t used to his size and the way it felt and your face was not hiding any of that. he chuckled slightly, leaning up as he did so with a hand resting on the small of your back so you didn’t fall.

“go on baby, you can do it, take it all” he spoke, the smirk becoming more clear on his face. he added a wink, knowing it would fuck with you too.

“fuck you, seunghun” you let out, lowering yourself another inch onto his length, almost all the way there now. he leaned back agasint the headboard once again, knowing he still had control, but it was fun to see you thinking that you did. his hands now rested on your thighs which were tense and hard, there was no way you were lasting in this position, he thought to himself.

you had finally gotten to riding his dick properly, an activity you did almost every day these days. seunghun had already managed to have you put on a blindfold, called you cute numerous times and was surely on his way to changing position, claiming that you should “let the expert take over”.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

l a r g e. both length and girth… above average. girl you’re so lucky to be getting that dick 😭 but good luck walking for a few hours (days) after because he knows how to use it too.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

probably the highest out of anyone on the entire planet lol.

he would have sex 24/7 if he could.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he simply does not sleep. most of the time, he’s eager to stay up with you, cuddling or just getting on with you day. don’t get me wrong sometimes, he needs to sleep after, and then it’s only after you do, but it’s rare.

[bitchiha]

I just found your blog, and I love it already. Can I request relationship hc for Kankuro and Darui(if you write him)?

✎ Relationship HC’s (Kankuro, Darui)

A/N: so I’m proud I actually managed to whip a post out lol, also Kank and Darui are some of my fav characters and I’m sad I haven’t written much for either of them... anyways, enjoy and thank you for requesting this, wonderful anon!

Kankurou

So we can just jump straight into it here: you’re gonna have to put up with all the puppets. Like when you come over to his apartment for the first time you probably have 5 mini heart attacks. You’re shrieking around every corner you turn because there is always damn puppet there waiting for you. Sometimes it’s not even a full puppet, just a puppet limb. This continues to scare the shit out of you when you move eventually move in too. Like it’s something you cannot escape.

Yes, he does have a work room, but his work is not limited to that room (that’s what he’ll sassily tell you as he picks up the puppet you flung across the room because it basically jump scared you.) However.. Little by little you notice that he starts to leave less and less puppet parts around the house, which is really touching because Kank can be stubborn as fuck sometimes.

Also, he loves when you come over and sit on his lap while he works on one of his puppets; bonus if you let him blab about them. Honestly you don’t have to even listen, just make it look like you are. Let your hands play with his hair as you nod along whenever he pauses his sentence, knowing it’s a cue for a little response from you.

One of the scariest things you’ll have to deal with in the relationship is when Kankurou casually has conversations with his puppets. Like one night you came home a little late from work and you heard your boyfriend talking in a hushed tone and you’re like?? Who’s he talking to?? Figured it was Gaara because let’s be real.. Kank does not have a side hoe, he cannot get a side hoe, even if he wanted. So anyway.. You didn’t want to bother him, so you just quietly walk into the work room to peek inside, only to find Kank talking to one of his puppets. He notices you at the door and stops mid conversation and clears his throat, but it’s too late, you’ve already heard him.

“Kank.. babe.. we’re you talking to your puppet just now?” He just stares at you sheepishly, but the puppets still perched on his lap nonetheless, “... There’s no point in me denying it is there?”

He’s kinda shitty at gift giving on special occasions. Like he is just is so fucking bad that you’ve accepted the fact that your birthday gift will be a teddy bear like every single year. But he makes up for it with the random gifts he gives you throughout the year. Like if you’ve been away for a long time you always come home to some sort of cute little puppet waiting for you. He’s made one of your favourite animal, favourite anime character, mini versions of his own puppets, etc. At this point in the relationship you’re starting to get used to the puppets, so you end up keeping them on a shelf in your room. He always gets so giddy when he comes to your place and sees them displayed like that. And loves it even more when you keep them displayed after you move in together.

Sorry sweetheart, but if you do not like his siblings.. NEXT CALLER. Bye. He’s ending the relationship right there. But if you get along with them his heart melts, especially if you and Gaara become friends. Or like if you can remotely handle Gaara pre chunin exams. Yah will do it. He’s head over heels for you. You’re both protective mama bears now and will keep Temari and Gaara safe with your lives and vice versa.

Badass fighting duo. If anyone wants to fuck with Gaara or Temari you two are gonna fuck shit up to say the least. But even on missions too, like you guys can read eachother perfectly and even if you were bickering before the battle starts — all the tension goes out the window and you’re focused on the problem at hand. You can go back to flaming eachother afterwards. Just a little side note: he loves showing off his puppet skills. So don’t be surprised if he calls out “y/n! Babe! Y/n! Over here — This is how the Ant looks in action.” Then he proceeds to iron maiden the victim. Give him a thumbs up and congratulate him please. Even if it’s kinda a very graphic scene.

Kinda fucks with PDA tbh, like he tones it down once Gaara becomes Kazekage because he needs to keep up a respectable image, but still does light PDA. Pre Kazekage Gaara, he would suck your face off anywhere. But when Gaara becomes Kage, he just gives you quick kisses instead. Doesn’t go for handholding a lot, prefers having an arm around your shoulders or around your waist. Slaps your ass too, if there isn’t a lot of people around and he can get away with it. If you wanna make him jealous though, all that composure goes out the window.

KISS HIS HANDS. LOVE HIS HANDS. When you’re at home and you two are cuddling, run your thumb lightly over his knuckles, over his calloused palms, kiss the pads of his fingers... it just makes him so soft lol. Like kiss the scars of blisters or scratches from his work tools and he’s putty in your hands girl.

I’m 100% sure that Kank can handle a moody / bratty s/o. Like you’ve got a little spice? He can take that. Afterall, he handled little moody pre teen Gaara before, I’m sure he can handle you. Doesn’t mean he isn’t stubborn though, he won’t let you win arguments. Which is a problem if you’re stubborn too. You will argue for hours and wont even remember what you were arguing about to begin with, then one of you’ll have to be like: pause the music.. what were we even mad about? Neither of you can remember and you’ll just shrug it off and go out for ramen or something like nothing happened.

If you don’t already have somewhat of a thick skin when you start dating Kankurō, you will eventually form one. If not, shits not gonna work out. Like he’s just a teasing person and he likes to have little roast sessions, they just entertain him. He hardly ever oversteps himself when it comes to the banter, but if he does he’s kinda oblivious. If you start crying though he’ll feel so bad, like it was just mindless teasing he didn’t mean to make you cry. Will remember what made you react like that and won’t ever mention it again.

I think he also tells the best stories. Like he just has the best expressions and voice for it. Not to mention having a jinchuuriki and Kazekage as his brother; he’s experienced some crazy shit. He mindlessly babbles them out to you whenever something reminds him of that particular time. Like if he sees a person walking their dog, it brings him back to the time when he defended kiba against one of the Sound Four. Then boom. He just randomly blurts out the story as you two are walking.

Kankurou is a surprisingly good cuddler. He always wants to be the big spoon and likes to pull you close to his chest and sling his arm around you lazily when you’re watching tv together . He’s constantly getting his hands tangled in your hair because he loves to play with it. Sometimes if you fall asleep while he’s cuddling you, you’ll wake up two French braids or something. Honestly, you’ll be shocked at how he managed to do that at first, but let’s be real he probably styles his puppets hair in his free time.

Overall an entertaining s/o, I would reccomend.

Darui

Oh boyyyyyy... Where do I start with this guy? He’s such an amazing hype man. Like Darui is so fucking flattered that he managed to score such a smart and gorgeous person that he will never let you forget it. He swings you compliments all the time and they don’t even sound overbearing from him because he’s just that cool. Even the way he compliments you is cool. Don’t forget to compliment him too though.... pls be eachothers hype men.

He’s also the loyalist man you will ever meet — we see what he’s like with the Raikage, you can’t tell me otherwise. Like once the two of you are officially dating he is committed 100% to you and will do anything for you. So do not mistake his laid back demeanour for laziness because when it comes to your relationship he is ready to do whatever you want. You want a certain flavour of ice cream, but the store ran out? He will go to every single grocery store in the village to find you that flavour for you. His s/o deserves the best and if they can’t have their favourite ice cream then he won’t rest till they do. Literally. Sometimes you have to go out and find him and tell him it’s okay and that he can come home, you don’t need that flavour that badly.

Handles periods the best too. Like he’s actually mature about it for the most part. Will 100% go out and buy you tampons or pads because like I said, he will do whatever you want. He’s also practically a human heater so he will lay down with you and cuddle you to help relieve some of the cramp pains. Can figure out when you’re PMSing too and will handle it well too. Like you’re literally just spazzing out in the middle of the kitchen and you’re yelling about something that happened 2 years ago, he he just pulls you into a hug and holds you there until your anger dies down a little bit, then he picks you up and tucks you into bed. Idk how it works, but it does. Every single time.

When it comes to gift giving he’s so subtle about it. Like he isn’t the type to do something extravagant and flashy for his s/o, but his gifts are still so thoughtful and considerate that you can’t help but blush at them. He’s observant and he notices the things you like, what you talk about more than other things, etc. He takes all that into account when he wants to buy you a gift and every year he never fails to melt your heart. It also makes him super giddy when he sees you wearing / displaying his gifts in your room or something. He is always so insecure when he actually hands you the gift though, but the look of joy on your face instantly washes his hesitance away.

Honestly you two are the coolest couple in the whole Cloud, like you’re just such a badass duo. Omoi and Karui love you two, Killer Bee loves you two, Cee and the Raikage too. It’s kind of funny just how invested the Raikage is, though. Definitely cries hysterically if you and Darui get into a fight, hes all like “no! You two are meant to be, this can’t be happening!” And Darui is like... sir it was a minor fight, we’re still together... Killer Bee has also definitely made a rap about you two or at least used you two for a line in his rap. It was pretty garbage, but it’s the thought that counts; plus you guys are so cool that the rap just automatically becomes cool too.

Darui constantly apologizes for things that aren’t his fault. You learn to get used to it, but it’s a little confusing at first. One night he came to your apartment all depressed looking and he’s like “y/n, I’m so sorry, but I have to tell you this now.” And you think his ass is cheating on you or something because of how solemn he looks so you’re bracing yourself for the worst, when in reality he just wants to postpone your date an hour or two because he has to help the Raikage with something. You just stare at him for a good five minutes because wtf why didn’t he just call you? Like why does he look so distressed over something as minor as that??

Your fights don’t last very long at all. He’s a reasonable and understanding person, so he doesn’t initiate fights very often. I feel like you guys only really fight when it comes down to spending too much time apart. Like he’s been too busy with being the Raikages second hand man and you’ve been occupied with missions and your own business, you two just miss each other and kind of end up getting frustrated with each other and eventually you guys snap. Like you can’t make the date on Friday and want to re schedule, but Friday’s the only day he can make it. Cue snappy comments and one of you hanging up the phone on the other. Daruis always the first one to apologize though, go figure.

You guys are also another badass duo when it comes to fighting, like he’s super observant of you and he knows your next move before you know it. If you’re a bit on the impulsive side he’ll lowkey get frustrated because he doesn’t want you to get hurt when it’s something he can prevent. Especially if you’re fighting together, like he doesn’t want that on his conscience. Like you will never stop hearing him apologize if you get injured when he could have prevented it. You constantly have to shut him up lol.

Honestly playing with his hair is the best, he actually likes when you try and take care of it too. Even if it doesn’t work out all the time because you can’t really tame it, he loves the feeling of your fingers massaging his scalp anyway. So he’ll let you have your fun, but only you can touch it. His hair just feels so fucking nice too, like you have to refrain yourself from running your hands through his hair randomly. You definitely fluff it sometimes though.

He likes to be the big spoon when you two cuddle, but he doesn’t mind being the little one sometimes — only if you play with his hair though. Like just start running your hands through his hair and he’ll pass out just like that. Really likes when you lay your head on his chest and you just kind of sprawl yourself ontop of him. Sometimes he does that to you instead, especially after a long mission where he hasn’t seen you for a long time. He just lays his head on your chest and loves the feeling of your chest rising and falling gently as you sleep.

He is not that into pda, will wrap an arm around you or give you his jacket when you’re cold, but does not make out with you in public. If he’s feeling needy then he will simply pull you into an alley and kiss you there, but he’s pretty good at controlling himself and hardly ever needs to do that. Gives you occasional kisses on the cheek though, but absolutely no touching around the Raikage. Even if the Raikage literally doesn’t care. Darui just thinks it’s uncool.

You guys have super chill dates. Like just going out to dinner or hanging out at each others houses. The best dates are the spontaneous ones. Darui doesn’t do them all that often, but whenever there’s like a thunderstorm or a rainstorm outside, he will run to your place and you two will watch it together. Like just perch yourselves on the windowsill with a bunch of blankets and some snacks and you’re good to go. It’s kinda dangerous but both of your definitely fall asleep on the windowsill.

10/10 overall. Darui is so fucking cool he owns my ass.

[theroguequeenaniki]

Questions 2009 -> 2021

This is from my Facebook. It popped up on my memories page thing. I originally answered this in 2009 when I was 15, it’s now 2021 & and I am 27, so I’m gonna do it again. Leaving the original answers. Original answers will be italicized. Commentary on the original answers in parentheses & crossed out? Lol. (I’m not gonna tag anyone, but, like, I guess if you want to answer these random questions from Facebook 12 years ago, go ahead lol) 

Questions

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose people to tag. Don't forget to tag me so I can see your answers! To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy! Next, tag people that you think may enjoy this (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :) 1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? My cup with my Big Red in it The straw to my Kate Spade tumbler to drink my HEB Cola Lol.

2.Where was your profile picture taken? I got it off the internet. it's a random anime girl. My bedroom. 3.Can you play Guitar Hero? Never played it. Probably wouldn't be good at it. Not to good at video games. But I am good at Mario Cart, both 64 and the Wii. plus I'm good at some Sonic games. Still never played it. Idk if I’m any good at Mario Cart or the Sonic games anymore, I haven’t played either in years lol

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Doctor Who TikTok. My cats.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? Umm, probably about 10:00 cause it took me forevor to get into bed. Uh..Past 4am. Lol. B/c my sleep schedule is fucked. I was in bed by 3am though, but I was playing games & watching TikToks on my phone. Lol.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Yes. I'd move to either New York or Sweden. I don’t know. Part of me says yes. But part of me says no..b/c even though Texas has it’s faults (a LOT of them), I cannot imagine living anywhere else long-term..

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? HAHA. Yeah right. I've never even been kissed! Still nope. I have been kissed though. He just didn’t kiss me under the fireworks the one NYE we spent together...

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Um, I think R, but D might also. D is accross Stasney from me and R is a couple blocks down (I don’t talk to these people much anymore & I’m not going to share their names on Tumblr) Uh. I think Maybe Raven? B/c they’re the only one who lives in the same city still. But, Sarah might technically be closer distance wise? Hold on. Ok, yeah, Sarah’s closer, even though she doesn’t live in this city anymore.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends? It all depends on the situation.(I totally stold M's answer but it's true) (I don’t talk to this person anymore & I’m not gonna share their name on Tumblr) I mean, yeah. Two of my best friends are each others exes and they’re still friends. I haven’t stayed friend with my ex, but, uh, he ghosted me so? Lol.

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper? I love it. I still love it. Lol.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? I can't remember. I don't think it was that long ago, I had a light cry on Saturday, but I don't remember the last time I cried really hard. When we got back from our trip in July. Had a full on breakdown that night. Overheated all weekend. Overwhelmed. Anxiety. It was not a very good vacation..I cry a lot though.

12. Who took your profile picture? I got it off of google. I did. 

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Umm, either myself, or one of my family members. Aside from myself. I think my dad, on his phone, b/c there was a cicada on his shoulder and he wanted to ask the family group chat if he could keep it. Lol. I take a LOT of pictures of cats though. Lol.

14. Was yesterday better than today? Hail yes! To much drama today! And I couldn't avoid it cause I was in the middle of it! (Oof, what drama was 15 yo Linda dealing with that she couldn’t avoid? Lol. I mean, I guess, Sophomore year was a bit full of drama lol) Anyway, I mean, they were pretty much the same. One wasn’t better than the other. One wasn’t worse than the other.

15. Can you live a day without TV? yeah. Now Music there is something I can't live without! Yep, Do it almost everyday. Sentiments about music remain the same. Lol.

16. Are you upset about anything? Yes. I'm annoyed about something and it's making me upset. (I assume this has something to do with the the drama mentioned earlier lol) Always. Anxiety & depression are a bitch. My rooms a mess & I can’t get myself to clean it. My shelves are still a mess.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yeah. though i havent really had one yet. I mean, yeah. Even though I haven’t had one last, aside from friendships, but they’re worth it. 

18. Are you a bad influence? I hope not. If so, let me know.(again I took M's answer but it's true) Probably. Idk. Lol.

19. Night out or night in? Depends on what's going on and how I feel about it. Night in usually. I do like going out sometimes, but, like, to dinner. Maybe a movie or a show. But, you know, we’ve been in a panini press, the only thing I’ve been comfortable doing is going to dinner (fully vaxxed & masked). But I also prefer staying home anyway. (Like I usually just go to dinner with my family lol)

20. What items could you not go without during the day? my computer. my book. my journal and a pen. My phone. My journal (b/c I write in it every night, as a diary, 14yo Linda wrote stories). Uh. I didn’t take food or drinks into account in the og, so I won’t in those. But, yeah. My phone & journal. I can go a day without my laptop if I need to. (Went the whole trip in July without pulling it out, though maybe that’s not a good example since my anxiety on that trip was so high..) I want to say a book, but I’ve been in a massive reading slump so...I wish I read as much as 15yo Linda did..

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? I don't remember. I think it was myself.(if you want to know, ask me in person) I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I was in a hospital. 

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? "Mrbobbybones:  wish ted would finally meet their mother already. geez. get to it. However, I see myself in that character more and more each episode." yeah. That's what it says. It's from Twitter. (Huh? and I can’t even go check b/c my inbox doesn’t go back to 2009 on Twitter?? (I haven’t had my account that long) Wait wait wait just remembered I used to get tweets to my phone as text messages lol)

Facebook messenger: “ Cool” From our group chat. Lol.

From actual text messages on my phone: “ heeey! Just put up the Tuesday PDS just for you  it’s a big one.” From Phillip Defranco’s text line Lol.

23. How do you feel about your life right now? I'm loving and hating it. but hey nobody gets out alive right? Uh..I mean. I’m alive. I have WiFi. Food. Family. I haven’t seen my friends in 2 years. (Minus Alex, b/c they were here in July to cat/house sit, but I saw them for like, one night..) There’s a lot that could be better. A lot that could be worse. 

24. Do you hate anyone? yes!!! Oof. I mean, kinda.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook Inbox, what would we find? some random conversations. most of my convos on her though have been in chat or through comments. Facebook Inbox is now Facebook Messenger. So you’ll find all my Facebook Messenger convos. Mostly our group chat. And side group chats for secret planning (birthdays & stuff). Plus other chats? Lol.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? I better! (excuse me miss 15yo Linda you absolutely could have passed a drug test you ALSO didn’t drink or smoke or take any drugs lol) Yeah. Absolutely. I don’t drink or smoke or take any drugs so, yeah? Lol.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? 

Yes. But I can't remember when... Yeah. Pretty sure. 

28. What song is stuck in your head? Gee by SNSD(Girls Generation) They're Korean. A few My Chemical Romance songs

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? EDWARD CULLEN! Joke! lol. No I don't know. If it was Edward, I'd call the cops. whoever it is though better have an explaination or they are gonna get hit in the head with my Book of Shadows. (Maybe I wouldn’t mind Edward at my window though? Lol.) Uh. My friends? Lol. Idk if I want anyone knocking on my window at 2am.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I don't know....... Uh. No? Idk. Most likely not gonna happen. 

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? I can't think of anything right now... Eat. Should probably clean my room.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Way to much! lol. Way way way too much

33. Do you smile a lot? i try to. I think I do. I get told that alot in Theater...

I think so

[slasherscream]

A/N: shout-out to that one anon on bloodybrahms’ blog forever ago where they were like ginger fitzgerald x jennifer check x jd x reader. their mind?? i haven’t known peace since seeing the concept. 

coincidentally, you as well, will never know a moment of peace again. 

your relationship is overflowing with chaos. you can’t let your guard down for even a second because that’s the exact moment one of your partners will choose to strike and do some absolute bullshit™. it is imperative that you never take your eyes off them or leave any of them on their own. 

if you cannot stay with them at all times at least take care to make sure you never leave all three of them alone together. nothing good has ever come from you doing this.

you act as the impulse control for all three of your partners. they straight up don’t know how to act without you around. 

let’s talk about the chaotic dynamics and features of this relationship, shall we-

○ ginger and jennifer ....where to start. they dislike each other so much, both on the fundamental levels of their personalities and also as supernatural entities. werewolves and demons aren’t like…. natural enemies or anything but they can be Genuine Threats™ to one another so their hackles are always a little raised around each other.

○ that aside, jennifer is the exact type of girl ginger hated in high-school. she took one glance at jennifer and said "what a fucking vapid wanna-be barbie looking slut" and she hasn't changed her mind since. 

○ meanwhile, jennifer thinks ginger is just.... beneath her. she wouldn't have hated a girl like ginger back in high-school because she never would've fucking noticed her. once she is forced to acknowledge ginger as a sentient, living being due to your poly relationship she's just.... aggravated by her. if jennifer had to put into words what she doesn't like about the other girl it would be how fucking judgmental she is. absolutely rich coming from jennifer of all people but she's serious! you're gonna sit here.... and hate her.... because she's popular and sexy?? are you fucking twelve?? you mangy, pathetic, edgy, "i only listen to evanescence" ass bitch (and she means the bitch part literally.)

at best their relationship could MAYBE wind up like that exchange from jumanji: welcome to the jungle:

Professor Shelly Oberon : Seriously, I can't even open my mouth around you. You don't even know me, but you, like, decided you hate me.

Ruby Roundhouse : Look, I just think you live in, like, the "hot popular girl" bubble, you know, where everybody either treats you like a princess or like an object. Maybe it makes you a little self-absorbed or something?

Professor Shelly Oberon : That's fair. But do you think that maybe the reason why you are so judgy is because you are like afraid that people are not gonna like you, so you've decided not to like them first? I'm just saying, you're a babe, go with it.

but realistically they will never have a conversation this open and honest. they'll stick to bickering and being catty, thank you very much. occasionally they are so catty that they start literally fighting and yes, your house will get destroyed every time some shit pops off between them. please have everything insured. 

○ funnily enough they both like/love jd!! off the bat they both find him incredibly attractive. jennifer saw him and said "yummy.com, much?" ginger did not say anything but watched him like a hungry....well, wolf. honestly though looks weren't enough to keep either of them interested in someone when they were plain human and un-traumatized       let alone now. in fact, considering that jennifer is a succubus her finding jd hot only put him in danger adjkl.

○ lucky for him he was surprisingly resistant to her physical charm/succubus powers/allure when she first approached him, planning to make him her next meal. while she totally took his disinterest as a challenge because uhm?? are you fucking blind?? i'm a fucking buffet?? all i serve is looks?? it also made her respect him quite a bit. jennifer takes very few people seriously. her respecting someone so soon after meeting them is actually a way bigger deal than her liking them. 

○ jd takes some time to warm up to jennifer but not as much as you'd think? while he might roll his eyes at her popular, mean girl shtick he's very observant and sees that there's more to jennifer than meets the eye.

○ the fact that he doesn't immediately hop into her bed just because she sticks her chest out gives him enough time to see beneath her surface and surprises her enough that she let's him. there are plenty of things he likes about her. he admires the way she can just...bend the world to her will. when she wants something she gets it, no matter what. he loves that?? she's very dynamic and bold. excitement either follows her or she chases after it. and unlike a lot of charismatic or popular people jennifer lacks the one trait jd absolutely can't stand       being fake. jennifer doesn't hide the fact that she's a stone cold bitch. she always says exactly what she means or what's on her mind. overall jennifer is an addicting personality to have around and even jd falls for her charm eventually.

○ jennifer won't say it but realizing jd actually cares about her and likes her as a person is what makes her fall, you know       because she's a fucking narcissist... just kidding. it catches her off guard for someone to fall for her because of who she is and not what she looks like. it makes her vulnerable for just long enough that she sees all the things that are good about jd and BOOM, she's in love. now she's got two mates and one annoying hang around whom she also has sex with because she's not hideous (her mate, ginger is also her mate, she just likes ginger less than she likes the two of you.)

○ ginger loves jd's intensity. they're pretty much ' same hat! ' relationship wise.

ginger: men are fucking worthless jd: *walks around fucking unhinged* ginger: ....one man allowed 

○ she genuinely loves his personality and he genuinely loves hers right on back. they're kind of just...mirrors of each other in a lot of ways but there's just enough difference between them that they don't piss each other off. other than their tempers they get along really well because they think the same way?? have the same ideas?? want to do the same things?? kill the same people?? you know bonding shit. they're kind of perfect together? they completely understand one another. they are probably the most like-minded of the whole relationship, not the closest, but they think pretty much the exact same shit, i cannot emphasize this enough. they can make eye contact and know exactly what the other is thinking and they love that. lowkey best friends. highkey you cannot let them go on dates alone. 

○ where do you fit in here? uhm you're the glue and stability of this relationship. sure they all love or begrudgingly (and secretly) like each other but you're like.... gravity. essential and holding the world together, keeping everything balanced. you were probably the start of the relationship to begin with. they all knew you and were growing to love you separately and then each realized they had competition but while they were trying to fight each other off they just sorta...got used to one another. and none of them were willing to give you up so it's lucky they decided to share or it would've been a fucking bloodbath to put it lightly. none of them have self control or boundaries. to get what they want they'd all go ridiculously far... i don't know what's farther than murder but they'd do it. 

○ they all depend on you emotionally, honestly. you're their closest friend, the person they can be vulnerable with, someone they trust to take care of them in the way that matters most. they love you because you make them all feel....human (even jd who is the only actual human besides you. but you get the point.)

sometimes they get jealous of each other, which is ridiculous, because you're almost always together as a group. you do occasionally go off in pairs or to separate outings/activities/dates but generally?? you're all together. it's typically more like-

ginger: you've been hanging off y/n all fucking day, jennifer! they barely fucking smell like me anymore. jennifer: what's so bad about that? you smell fucking disgusting- jd: *grabs ginger around the waist before she can jump across the kitchen counter and beat jen's ass*

however!! there isn't as much inter-group jealously as you'd believe! they actually enjoy having a relationship involving four people.

it feels very secure to them? first off they all feel better in regards to you. they don't worry so much about anything happening to you because you have three over-protective partners who would die and kill for you. they also don't worry about you leaving them because you're so.... you. unlike other, unnamed people they so desperately clung to in the past they know you're not going anywhere. they feel secure enough in their connection with you to be as codependent as possible :)))

(also.... you couldn't leave if you tried lmao. get away from one of them? sure       maybe. get away from all three?? *cue clown music* they'd use ginger as a hunting hound and track you by scent alone.)

the four person relationship feels incredible to ginger because it satisfies her need to have a pack? she'd only ever had her sister before and you know how....close, they were. having more than one, single person to be emotionally attached to/invested in really helps center ginger? it also makes it easier to be in a relationship with her? she can be very intense and focused and she puts a lot of energy into her relationship. having that focus and intensity spread out amongst multiple partners is great for her and for them. 

jennifer only ever really felt connected to one person, needy. losing her was....a lot. she never thought she'd be close to anyone again let alone to three people. she can't stand the mutt sometimes but she loves you and jd!! and she loves being loved. not lusted after. not admired. not envied. loved, genuinely loved. she may be a demon, she might not have a soul anymore, but she does have a heart, and every day she's with the three of you it feels a little less broken. 

since the..."untimely" death of jd's mother (and arguably, even while she was still alive) he's never had any roots. no solid connection. no one to belong to or with. before you, ginger, and jennifer he was just...drifting. when you three came into his life it was like hearing a sudden gunshot in the middle of a calm forest. it was electrifying, and maybe even a little scary. he went from having absolutely nothing to having everything, all at once. for the first time in a long time he has something to be grateful for. he would do anything for the three of you. he'd burn the world to the ground just to see you three smile.  

jd goes on several motorcycle rides a week because while you guys have like two cars...he keeps his motorcycle because jennifer, ginger and you think it's hot and none of you are very practical. he must treat all of you to the delight that is the wind flowing through your hair while you're on the back of his bike. jennifer doesn't like helmet hair but she likes the sexiness factor. ginger likes that it's dangerous so jd always speeds when he's with her, you're not sure how they don't get arrested?? 

date nights are such a nightmare because you guys are all very opinionated?? and particular. you and jd are probably the most easy-going but that doesn't really help because jennifer and ginger are always going to be picky about what you guys wind up doing and they'll say no to whatever the other suggests just on principal. just for their own amusement. 

ginger, jennifer and jd are so over-protective of you. you're such a delicate little human?? how have you been surviving without them?? you need them to take care of you. 

sometimes you'll be like "why the fuck aren't you two stifling jd? he's a human too!!" and they're like "no he's different" which is such bullshit but also like....jd is fucking unhinged. he can take care of himself. you are their baby. 

ginger and jennifer are forever arguing about who is going to transform you and jd. you would think they’d at least agree that one of you is gonna get turned into a demon and one will become a werewolf, at least for the sake of balance, but they literally can’t even agree on THAT let alone which supernatural creature you or jd will wind up as. you two have minimal input in this choice sorry :/ this is werewolf and succubus beef. humans be silent.

you staying human isn't a choice because humans are weak and die so quickly. unacceptable?? ginger is gonna live a long ass time and jennifer is probably immortal. they are not winding up stuck with each other just because you and jd thought you could escape them in death?? fuck you. 

ginger needs all three of you to smell like her. yes, even jennifer. but mostly you and jd as you're her two humans and Preferred Mates. jennifer can smell her scent on you all but she doesn't need to smell it?? it's not instinctual?? meanwhile it straight up gives ginger anxiety when you guys don't smell like her. it's just part of werewolf mating. honestly while ginger smells different from humans she doesn't smell like dog, jennifer just likes to say that to piss her off. if she did smell like dog jennifer wouldn't touch her and would gripe any time she touched you or jd. 

cuddling is such a fucking nightmare. you guys have the biggest couch in the world and it's still a fucking ordeal. every two person couple activity is fucking ordeal for local poly couple.

it's a debate every time about who's going to sit where or who's going to hold who. oh jennifer likes to sit on the armrest? cool. except she wants to cuddle with you, but you want to sit in the middle today, and jd wants his arms around you, but ginger is laying in his lap and refuses to move cause he was riding on his bike too long today and stopped smelling like her so she'll bite him if he moves. 

your life is literally that "man has to get a fox, a chicken, and a sack of corn across a river." riddle i'm so fucking sorry for you.

jennifer likes to buy you and jd clothes. she stopped bothering getting stuff for ginger because the mutt is always so ungrateful of jennifer's taste in clothing. to be fair jennifer only buys a few things that are a bit out of you or jd's comfort range, she tends to buy things that will make you look hot but that you'd also get for yourself. 

jd goes shopping with her because he doesn't like leaving any of his partners alone for long. like he doesn't enjoy it he's also not going to bitch about it like other "dutiful" boyfriends who are left holding a few shopping bags and purses. you can't go out with your girlfriend and hold her shit for her for a couple hours?? can't give her a few minimal responses on whether something looks good or bad??? fuck you. also stop looking at his girlfriend before he pulls out his gun. 

they all encourage the worst of each others possessiveness. not only because being around each other makes it feel normal because they all agree this is a perfectly healthy amount of possessiveness but also because they all think of being possessive as something romantic. you know they love you because they'll rip apart anyone who looks at you for two long!!! 

when you wake up in the morning it's chaos. someone's hair is always in someone's mouth and ginger is a very wild sleeper. especially as it gets closer to the full moon. one of you will wind up on the floor even though you have two king mattresses pushed together. jennifer is one second away from tying ginger up before the four of you go to bed. 

you don't really have to worry much about ginger's transformation?? like she won't hurt you and jd during it because she knows that you two are her mates, she's pretty docile around you two (for a werewolf). she knows that jennifer is her...something so she doesn't try to hurt her but she's also not gonna roll over and show her belly.

if anything does go wrong like ginger gets out/away from you all or out of control jennifer can get her back or put her in check no problem. werewolf cuts/bites don't hurt more than any other type of gnarly injury so jennifer is fine with doing it.

that's one of the ways you can tell jennifer gives a shit about ginger actually. even when ginger will fight her viciously when she's a werewolf jennifer mostly just does things to restrain her, not to hurt her. you'd never point that out though because just to prove she's not soft jennifer might break one of ginger's ribs or some shit next time.

the big concern is making sure ginger doesn't get hurt or caught. jd and jen don't care if she hurts anyone else frankly adjkl. to try and keep ginger running off to a minimum (because it's very hard to keep a werewolf somewhere it doesn't want to be) right before a turn jennifer will bring her own.... food, back to the house and her and ginger will kill them together?? it satiates some of the blood-lust and makes the transformations easier. 

all three of these bastards will try and kiss you or fuck you while you're covered in blood and it's a nightmare!! somehow one of them is always covered in blood!! even if jd wasn't directly involved in a killing he will come home covered in blood because he made out or had sex with one of the girls while they were covered in blood. he thinks they're beautiful when they're blood thirsty :)))

none of them are great at emotions but all three of them together almost make one-functional human being!! and they are all, to their credit, aware of the fact that they aren't great with feelings so they are already naturally over-compensating to make sure they're always taking care of all your needs. 

you: on the phone with a friend complaining about your day, minding your own business the three of them: *manifest from nowhere because their "you having human contact that isn't them" sense was tingling ginger: *snatches your phone and hangs up on your friend* jennifer: *sits in your lap* jd: *wraps an arm around you* why don't you tell us about your day, darling?

a well-oiled machine anyone?

no friends!!! only them!! you are a pack!! you are mates!! you're a family!!! fuck anyone else. 

[firelxdykatara]

hello!! i just wanted to ask- i wanna do an ouat rewatch bc CAPTAIN SWANN but its pretty long and i honestly dont care for the other characters/how badly the overall writing was handled.. which are your favourite captain swan eps? anything them centered and i think ill just skip around to rewatch their romance as they did invent romance 😭😭 ty in advance <3

they absolutely did invent romance, you are right about that and i love them so much

UHMMMM as far as my favorite CS eps, here’s a roadmap of what I personally consider key eps in their journey (some of this is from memory but I haven’t done a full rewatch in a while so i’m going through the episode list as a refresher)

2x06: Tallahassee--this is a must-watch ep for any CS fan, and I really think this is the episode that sparked the fire that CS would become as a fandom. It has everything--flirtatious banter, all kinds of tension, deliberate parallels drawn between Emma and Killian’s pasts, as well as their first meeting being intercut with her relationship with Neal (which serves, especially in hindsight, to highlight just how sketchy that relationship was, and why she couldn’t bring herself to trust Killian--because the last time she felt this way about anyone, it ended horribly)

2x08 and 2x09: Into the Deep and Queen of Hearts--these episodes cover the race to the portal between Emma&co and Hook/Cora and while they don’t do a ton for CS as a relationship since they’re still enemies at this point, it lays great foundation for their future relationship development. Plus, sexy swordfight, Hook going out of his way to save Aurora’s heart--he may be a pirate, but he has standards ok--and Emma realizing Cora can’t remove her heart without her permission? Poetic Cinema

2x11: The Outsider--more of a Killian-centric episode, it shows a lot of Killian at his worst but it’s necessary for his overall character arc and I genuinely love looking back and seeing just how far he managed to come, to the point of eventually even letting go of his (very understandable) grudge against Rumplestiltskin.

2x12: In the Name of the Brother--am I including this purely for Emma&Hook banter in the hospital, and Killian saying ‘hey beautiful’ when he’s lying on the road because he just got hit by a fucking car? You bet I am. Also, go to youtube and look up ‘ouat season two deleted scene jello’, because it’s beautiful and there was a tremendous outcry in the fandom when we realized it had been cut from the episode lmao (It’s also the episode that made me start shipping Frankenwolf, which I’m still sad never went anywhere, but they had a lot of potential and great chemistry.)

2x22: And Straight On Till Morning--A few of the episodes in between have some fun minor interactions and flashbacks (and I always approve of episodes where Killian gets one up on Rumple, so 2x15 is fun for me if i ignore all the Neal bits) but the finale is where we finally get a glimpse of who Killian could be beyond his need for revenge. He didn’t have to come back, he didn’t have to bring back the bean and help the town--but he did.

Season 3a: there’s a lot of really good stuff here for Hook and Emma that is interwoven between the A plots of other episodes. I think, as far as half-season arcs go, it’s one of the best (and everything after 4a bombed hard, but I digress) But there are a few episodes that stand out if you don’t want to watch the whole season. (I recommend starting with the premier though, it was a really solid season starter overall.)

3x05: Good Form--this is the culmination of David’s poisoned-by-dreamshade arc, and is also Peak Captain Charming Bromance. Hook not only keeping David’s secret, but doing everything he can to help save him??? Poetic cinema. It also provides some crucial Killian backstory, showing how he lost his brother to the very same dreamshade. Plus, the character development--Pan offers Killian a chance to escape the island with Emma if he kills David, and instead, he saves him, refusing the deal and damn the consequences. Also also? The first CS kiss which drove the fandom WILD.

3X06: Ariel--not only to I love OUaT’s take on Ariel, but this episode has the infamous Echo Cave scene, which involves a lot of feelsy confessions and Killian being the one to tell everyone that Neal is alive and helping Emma save him despite his own growing feelings for her.....IT’S JUST A LOT AND I LOVE IT.

3x07: Dark Hallow--oh man, I’d forgotten about this episode, but it has Killian and Neal fighting over Emma, which may sound eye-roll worthy, but Emma is allowed to tear them a new one about it and it’s one of the few times she’s allowed to actually???? put her own feelings first so I have to include it here on spec

3x11 and 3x12: Going Home and New York City Serenade--these mark the end of 3a and start of 3b respectively, and it has some amazing shit like Killian vowing never to forget Emma and Emma smiling as she replies, “Good.” And then she and Henry are in New York with their memories completely altered, but Killian shows up because Storybrooke is back and in jeopardy, and he helps Emma get back to her family and her home and, much later, Emma finds out he sold the Jolly Roger to be able to do it and it’s just. It’s beautiful ok.

3x17: The Jolly Roger--there’s honestly not a whole lot in the back half of season 3 (until the CS movie) but of course anything named for Hook is a must-watch, and this is where we get the iconic line I swear on Emma Swan--which is Killian saying he’s in love with her before he even realizes it. We also find out just what he did to Ariel, and his attempts to make amends are what lead to Zelena being able to curse him, so it’s great from a character perspective as well.

The next four episodes round out the end of the season, and there’s a lot of great stuff in them--Hook refusing to get Emma to kiss him, but Emma feeling like she can’t trust him because he didn’t tell her about the curse to begin with, and then kissing him anyway to save his life regardless of the consequences.... but the only ones that are absolutely necessary are the final two episodes.

They are colloquially termed ‘The Captain Swan Movie’ for a reason, after all.

Killian and Emma essentially have an entire Time Travel adventure all to themselves, where they accidentally ruin her parents first meeting and have to fix it so that she’ll even be born, Emma finally getting into the storybook, the pair of them dancing at a ball, Killian rushing to save Emma only for her to get out of the cell herself, because “The only one who saves me is me.” Killian saying “I would go to the ends of the world for her... or time.” Finally fixing the timeline and making it back to Storybrooke and Killian feeling like he doesn’t deserve a place at the table so he doesn’t go inside, but Emma comes out to him anyway and finds out he gave up the Jolly Roger for her, the true start to their relationship...... IM CRYING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT I’M SORRY.

I personally really enjoyed 4a, the Frozen arc was one of the last good half-season arcs of the show, but a lot of people disliked it so it’s really up to interpretation. I don’t have as many Intense Opinions on this season (except hating almost everything about 4b and the queens of darkness arc), but I will say the episodes with good Killian/CS moments are 4x02 (Emma nearly freezes to death, Killian is desperate to save her, Captain Charming teamwork, my heart hurts), 4x04 (Emma asks Killian out on a real date, he tries to get his real hand back from Gold, things go massively awry and he winds up back under Gold’s thumb), 4x08 (Killian tries to save Emma from Gold’s plans), 4x11 (the 4a finale is just great in general), and then..... it cannot be overstated how much I hate season 4b, but 4x15 is the Killian-centric ep where his past with Ursula is revealed and he makes amends to her in order to get her to leave the QoD alliance and it’s great character stuff for him, and then there’s the season 4 finale.

Both parts are worth watching, if only because Deckhand Coward Hook still being a braver, more heroic man than ‘Hero Rumplestiltskin’ warms the very cockles of my heart, and of course the second part of the finale has him helping Henry to save Emma and it’s beautiful and also Emma watches him die for her and it is angsty as FUCK but gods I love it. Here’s where it gets tricky, though--my recommendation is, turn the episode off right after Emma finds Killian back in the present day of Storybrooke and they reunite.

Just turn off the episode there and skip right ahead to the s6 musical episode (Emma and Killian’s wedding ep) and pretend they got married and none of seasons 5 or 6 ever happened. >.> (Although I will say certain parts of the Underworld arc were incredibly feelsy despite how much I overall hated the season: 5x11 (the 5a finale, Killian as the dark one STILL being a better man than rumple, we love to see it), 5x15 (I am not immune to Brothers Jones feelings ok), 5x20 (emma literally takes a True Love Test trying to find a way to save killian, you don’t get more romantic than that--also Killian telling Emma to promise she won’t put her armor back up just because she lost him again??? my HEART), 5x21 (Hook does what he can from the Underworld anyway and zeus sends him back to Emma, they really just said ‘today I will invent romance’ and then Did That)

And then, yeah, just skip to the wedding. It’s beautiful, I enjoyed the music, personally, though I know musical episodes are hit or miss with most people. And if you turn it off when the last musical number starts (after the wedding ceremony, I believe) you can pretend it was the end of the show! =DDD

.....Oh my god I just rambled for years. I HOPE YOU FIND THIS USEFUL, ANON. I 100% support a CS-centered rewatch, their episodes were consistently some of the best across the entire series, and they are truly one of my favorite romances of all time.

[bisluthq]

hi I was wondering what your favourite sapphic songs of Taylor's are? cause kaylors make such a big deal of the 'male perspective' in songs like our song, love story, mine. and I agree that wanting to experience that is gay in itself. but those songs just feel so straight country love songs that I really cannot see them as sapphic, particularly given that she also sings from the 'female perspective' to the man. so I wondered which songs feel most sapphic to you?

Ohh boy yeah the male perspective (except Betty where it’s gay in concept and feels very like when 15 year old me was obsessed with Blue Mountain State lmao) never screams gay to me. Let’s do a roundup of sapphic lyrics and themes.

In Teardrops on My Guitar, Taylor says: “Drew walks by me... Can he tell that I can't breathe? And there he goes, so perfectly... The kind of flawless I wish I could be.” Now the whole song’s unseen pining is pretty gay to me. Like I say, there are unrequited straight songs but it’s very like... “why aren’t you understanding that I’m right here? How can you be so blind?” In Teardrops Taylor seems very aware that this person (well boy in the song) won’t ever notice her.

And sure we could say “well she has poor self-confidence” but then there’s that line in the bit I chose: “The kind of flawless I wish I could be” - why is she comparing herself to a boy? Do I want to be you or do I want to fuck you is such a big mood for queer women especially young queer women. I dunno, like my first few late elementary/early middle school crushes (and my first few crushes were on girls) were very like: “Do I want to be her? Do I want to be her best friend? Or do I want her to hold my hand? And why does her holding my hand make my heart beat faster and seem to have no effect on her?” There’s a definite way queer women compare ourselves to the object of our affections that straight women don’t seem to do that makes “my crush is the kind of flawless I wish I could be” feel extremely sapphic to me.

Oh bonus one from Teardrops: “The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star / He's the song in the car I keep singing. Don't know why I do” - why doesn’t she know? Like what’s confusing about this situation? She likes this dude why is it such a big fucking deal that she does? And again why does she want to be like him?

Anyway yeah that whole song.

Also Invisible is gay af. Like if you reverse the pronouns it’s the universal queer woman’s story of being in love with your friend. And this bitch is into some dude who isn’t anywhere near good enough for her and your affections are invisible but if she only knew - and she won’t - the two of you could have something beautiful together.

Stay Beautiful also reads gay but apparently she wrote it in the fourth grade so maybe her vocab was just bad idk.

On that album, Tied Together with a Smile and I’m Only Me When I’m With You are formally, officially, according to Tay’s explanations about her female friends btw. If you listen to those two songs and then the first two I listed they’re... not that fucking different lmao. It’s that same idea of “you get me and I just want you to be happy”. It’s all just... gay...

Fearless is probably one of the least gay albums overall IMO (tho I’m open to people making stuff gay) but it does give us the title track which is very fucking gay lol so it makes up for the number of straight sounding songs on here. First there’s this bit:

We're drivin' down the road

I wonder if you know

I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now

But you're just so cool

Run your hands through your hair

Absent-mindedly makin' me want you

Man “I wonder if you know” is exactly that feeling I was describing like, I wonder if you realize this is more than friendship? I wonder if you know that I want you. And the “you’re just so cool” isn’t as explicitly “I want to be you” but it’s also got some of that shared energy. This person is so cool that them running their hand absent-mindedly through their hair is making her feel some type of way and yet she’s not sure if the person knows that. Now why wouldn’t this extremely cool guy know that the girl he’s giving a lift to is possibly interested?

Then there’s this bit:

My hands shake

I'm not usually this way

But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave

It's the first kiss,

It's flawless,

Really something,

It's fearless.

Why does this first kiss require so much bravery? It’s not her first ever because “I’m not usually this way” implies she has been in a similar position before. And then:

And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress

Fearless

“I don’t know why” - well because you like this person! Girl, you’re into them. Oh, you’re not sure why because it’s a girl? Also lbr discussing clothes with your crush/partner is a very gay girl thing so just that addition of “my best dress” in the context of the rest of this incredibly gay song is... gay...

Oh and a bonus point:

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this

You take my hand and drag me head first

Fearless

Making that big a deal of handholding and saying it requires bravery is, you guessed it, gay af. 

Untouchable also delivers some gems: “Untouchable like a distant diamond sky / I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why / I'm caught up in you” - I mean this is that whole vague confused forbidden vibes I spoke about before and the “And when you're close I feel like coming undone”. For me, it’s the fact that this person’s mere presence is enough to make her undone and she’s begging for a “taste of Heaven” feels... gay...

Jump Then Fall is also pretty damn gay to me. It’s got that dangerous “this could be dangerous” thing going on (“I had time to think it all over and all I can say is come closer”) but it’s also positive and... she’s saying jump and I’ll catch you which... like I get that it could be metaphorical but generally with het couples the dude would do the catching. Like if it was just that it’d not be that gay but again, the whole thing... is...

Whoa, oh, I need you baby

Don't be afraid, please,

Jump then fall

Jump then fall into me

Baby, I'm never gonna leave you

Say that you wanna be with me too

'Cause I'mma stay through it all

So jump then fall

Jump then fall, baby,

Jump then fall into me, into me

Like why are they both so scared? Why is she convincing herself and this person? What’s the danger? Is it just meant to be a “loss of virginity” song?

Then there’s the catching bit I mentioned:

The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet

I'll catch you, I'll catch you

When people say things that bring you to your knees

I'll catch you

Idk man. It’s gay.

By the way for two unrequited songs that fundamentally feel straight to me, look at The Other Side of the Door and You Belong With Me. I’m not saying you can’t have queer readings. But both of them have that “blame” angle to the guy’s lack of interest or inability to requite her feelings. Like she’s saying “I won’t tell you what I want or that I want you but you should figure it out ya big dummy!” which is inherently different to that “I know this is completely pointless and I’m barking up the wrong tree” energy of the other songs I mentioned. “I’m worried you’ll hurt me” songs are also different to “if you stand close to me I’ll completely fall apart but I can’t let you see” of... like... Untouchable.

Hey Stephen has the “I can't help it if you look like an angel” line but it’s generally straight for me because:

Hey, Stephen,

I could give you fifty reasons

Why I should be the one you choose.

All those other girls—

Well, they're beautiful,

But would they write a song for you?

Do you see what I mean it’s like “I know you might not want me but you should” and that’s not a sapphic vibe. Like that’s to me what makes her gay sounding songs so much gayer like they capture a very specific feeling - being confused on if you want to be her, be her friend or fuck her dumb ass.

On Speak Now Taylor adds another type of gayness into her repertoire. She does the “I’m singing about a guy but it’s all about a girl” thing in Better Than Revenge. Now I know she has been called out a lot for this and she herself has now said obvi girls don’t steal your boyfriend BUT that’s not the part I find interesting. It’s shit like: “She thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things” - like girl, that is psycho. Being obsessed with the fact that she is wearing vintage dresses is weird. And Taylor does this in the title track with her lengthy descriptions of the bridge compared to ZERO description of the guy. Not even “looking so handsome” - like there’s nothing. But the bride is “floating down the aisle like a pageant queen”.

Idk this is only three albums and only like my favorite gay bits and I already have so many and I haven’t even gotten to Treacherous 😭 I think I should make a hashtag for this and carry on later.

The point is, for me, it’s not about her singing a back and forth with a guy and a girl. It’s capturing supremely sapphic wlw feelings that I’ve never seen a straight female songwriter or musician convey, even where I’ve loved their music and felt it strongly resonated with me for other reasons.

[beeboomachine]

Hi! I was tagged by the hilarious and beautiful @majestic-seagull (go follow her or else). I can’t promise I can commit to the same charisma but I will attempt

Honey and lemon or milk and sugar:

Honey and lemon; I love love love honey and lemon juice is nice when am sick

Musicals or plays:

Musicals; plays are nice but adhd dictates at least once every 20 minutes something loud and obnoxious should happen for several minutes. After being around theater kids for all of high school either are awful and inescapable, might as well throw a high kick in (theater kids DNI /j)

Lemonade or unsweetened iced tea:

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I hate lemonade (and Carrie I love you but sprite isn’t lemonade and I’ll fight you) so unsweetened iced tea, the lesser of two evils, will have to take this one

Strawberries or raspberries:

Raspberries; I love strawberries but something about them taste so weird to me I can’t get behind them wholeheartedly, raspberries tho? Timeless

Winter or summer:

I wore a dress today in 40 degree weather (Fahrenheit), and i will wear one tomorrow as it snows. Winter

Beaches or forests:

*Insert brooding-anakin.gif here*; I like the beach in theory because sometimes you see crabs and shells are pretty but forests have such power to them I cannot help but feel so much happier being in them

Diners or cafés:

Real answer? Wherever my friends are; but! Important thing to note: you cannot get a breakfast burrito sweet potato fries and strangely bad but satisfying diner coffee at a cafe (also they are much smaller and I like big space)

Unicorns or dragons:

The knight in me says unicorn, it’s what is to be strived for. But dragons objectively fuck harder, and have way more culturally different ideals and designs, so dragons (side note: jawzahr can hmu anytime 👁)

Gemstones or crystals:

Gemstones are cool, but crystals look like candy and I like to bite them, so crystals; also people who know a lot about gemstones freak me out a little lol, but anyone will see quartz and be like “pretty”

Hummingbirds or owls:

As a frog and crab lover, small and cute things that are vicious are peak aesthetic, so hummingbirds; also my grandma loved hummingbirds, and had little hummingbird things all over wherever she lived

Fireworks or sparklers:

Sparklers; fireworks are 1. Loud 2. Obnoxious 3. People don’t give a shit about anyone else and gladly freak out pets and people with ptsd like some unthinking curs (side note: can we get sparklers that don’t fizzle out after like 10 seconds?? I want to hold the flame stick for 10 minutes at least)

Brunch or happy hour:

I don’t drink anymore, so brunch; besides it’s nicer cause your friends that stay up til forever o’clock can still eat breakfast with you even though you’ve been up since like 8am lol

Sweet or sour:

Sour; I don’t really like consuming either very often to begin with, but esp with gummy candy sour is best

Rome or Amsterdam:

You think I have money to leave the country? Like at all? Like in my lifetime? To give an answer, probably Amsterdam haha weed 420 420 420 420 haha weed (also I just fucking hate Italy) (Italians DNI /j) (god help you if you’re an Italian theater kid)

Classic or Modern art:

Uhhhhhh there’s elements in both that I really like so I will not decide; I think it should be noted I only consume art, I do not know or will ever study its history (art history majors DNI /j)(god help you if you’re an Italian theater kid who majors in art history)

Sushi or Ramen:

I cannot consume anything that has touched the ocean, so ramen; I know there’s the little uzimakis and they are on thin ice

Sun or moon:

This is a question that physically hurts me. I like staring at both for long periods of time, they are my girlfriends. Both

Polka dots or stripes:

I turn 30 in 6 years, find out then

Macarons or croissants:

Croissants are just objectively better; like I enjoy a good macaron every now and then but I could eat a croissant at breakfast lunch dinner as a snack between each meal and then one after I eat dessert and not be sick of them. Also have you ever had a chocolate croissant? Bliss

Glitter or matte:

If this is about makeup, I don’t wear it but glitter; if this is about nails, also glitter

Degas or Seurat:

I flipped a coin on whether or not I wanted to learn something new right now and I will abstain on answering this question

Aquariums or planetariums:

Aquariums are nice but I always have a slight tinge of fear I’ll get murdered in the weird twisty hallways they always have, planetariums have those too but if I get murdered in them at least I can see beetlejuice, so planetariums (side note: I’ve never been to a planetarium before so if any ladies wanna take me to one and kiss me under Jupiter I would like that very much 😳)

Road trip or camping trip:

Every time I’ve gone camping it has thunderstormed, and also someone scares me, so road trip; also there’s something about pushing 100mph with all the windows down screaming Whitney Houston lyrics while your friends just beg to be anywhere else but in the car

Colouring books or watercolour:

I hate arts and crafts, with a burning passion. I can’t fold shit, I can’t color good, glue and tape get stuck everywhere and make me fucking manic. Coloring books are nice to just pretend I’m 5 years old tho, so that will be my answer

Fairy lights or candles:

Candles smell nice but fairy lights can make your backyard party from a 7/10 to an 8/10; there is no clear winner here

Wow I have to tag people now! I will now be throwing a dart (that I’m not responsible for any injuries from) at:

@mecasloth @bottled-chaos @sugaredrefrain @moofahdrome @500daysofbecky @bisexualsnufkin @esspurrr

[snarkwrites]

summer sizzle | selfish - sweet pea | mature.

PROMPTS USED:

To the music + dirty dancing + “I like you this close to me. You’re warm.” + “You are so fucking beautiful.” + Kiss on the neck +“Shh, don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of you.” + comfort sex + needy/clingy + touching / kissing heavy + “Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.” + afterglow; talking and cuddling -

AUTHORS NOTES:

Look at me, being all productive and shit, posting content not once but twice in a week. Ya’ll, it’s been a while. I’m rusty as fuuuuck I won’t lie, but.. This was fun to write, even if it was a complicated little bitch in the beginning. If enough people want it, I might actually develop an actual fic for this Andrews!Oc and Pea, because I think it could be very interesting. In the meantime, unless you’re not 18+, enjoy the smut?

PAIRING:

Sweet Pea x Andrews!Ofc. [ RIVERDALE FANDOM ]

WARNINGS:

I am baaadly out of practice writing smut, first of all. Slightly jerky behavior to start with on Pea’s part, biting, s*x, swearing, overuse of petnames, angst to start with. Porn, but heavy af on the plot because apparently, I cannot write it any other way. BUT HAHAHA! THIS BITCH REMEMBERED TO HAVE THEM WRAP IT UP. I REMEMBERED THE GODDAMN CONDOM.

No children allowed,m’kay? This is smut. Not the filthiest, probably not even the best, but it’s out there.

TAGGING:

uhh.. given that this is smut, I’m gonna tag @rampagewriting​. If anyone else wants to be tagged in my stuff, follow the link below to my google doc and add yourself, yeah?

Life edit, I also tag @xxghostnappaxx​ to this. 

[ four seasons masterlist ] | [ tag list google doc ] | [ faq ]

  ----> SELFISH, a sweet pea x ofc oneshot.

“If you want to go to the dance, Alyssa.. I’m

not

stopping you.” Sweet Pea spoke calmly, giving a shrug as if he didn’t care either way. As he gazed down at me, I sighed and shook my head sadly. I tried stepping a little closer but he backed away like usual.

At this point, I find myself seriously wondering what exactly keeps me coming back.

,, oh, that’s right you stupid, stupid girl, you’re in love with the jerk.” - the thought came, taunting me in it’s brutal and raw truth.

But a girl can only be pushed out so far and honestly?

I was sick of paying for the pain Josie McCoy caused him. I was sick of having to prove myself over and over, I was beyond tired of being tested and questioned. I was tired of hoping against hope that one day, he’d finally get it. He’d realize that unlike pretty much everyone else in his life to this point, I wasn’t going anywhere.

A talk I had with Betty came back and I turned back to look at Sweet Pea, shaking my head. Something in me snapped and before I could stop myself, I was saying something I knew full well I’d come to regret.

“You’re dense. All this time and you don’t get it. You can’t see what’s right here in front of you, begging to be taken. I loved you, okay? Nothing would’ve changed that. But you… You had to keep pushing me away, you had to keep questioning my motives. I’m going to the dance, Sweet Pea. And I think,” I paused, taking a few deep breaths to keep myself calm. 

If I didn’t do it, I was most definitely going to break down sobbing. I wouldn’t ever go through with this because the last thing I want to do right now is turn my back. I mean, I love the guy. I don’t want to give up like pretty much everyone else in his life has. After I’d taken a few seconds to get myself calm again, I kept going, “ I think that I’m also going to leave you alone from now on since that’s obviously what you want.”

I grabbed my backpack and before he could say anything, I walked out of the empty classroom we’d been sitting in. Almost the second I was out in the hallway and standing by my locker, what I’d just done hit me and I wound up sitting on the hallway floor, my head resting against my knees.

“Alyssa?”

I looked up to find Reggie Mantle standing there, staring down at me in concern. “Are you crying?”

I shook my head, wiping at my eyes. I could’ve easily told Reggie Mantle exactly why I was sitting in the floor of the hallway crying, but in the end, I still cared entirely too much for Sweet Pea and the last thing I wanted was for him to get into another fight.

,, don’t flatter yourself. Did you not see just how little he cares when he didn’t try to stop you? When he didn’t wake up at the last second and at least try to fight for you?” the thought sat in my mind, taunting me bitterly. And I still kept the reason I was crying to myself.

Reggie flopped down next to me and kind of awkwardly slipped his arm around my shoulders. “Hey, c’mon, princess.”

“Don’t call me that… Please?” I glanced up at him, wincing a little at the use of the pet-name. Given that pretty much all of Archie’s friends called me that, I realized suddenly that when Sweet Pea called me that, it had taken on a whole new meaning for me. It changed from just a dumb nickname given to me by my older brother and all of his friends to something… Special. Intimate.

And now, I was going to hear it all the time and yeah, it was probably going to hurt like hell.

Reggie eyed me and I gave him a pleading look. “There has to be a million other things you can call me. I’m not a little girl anymore, Reg.” I said it quickly, hoping it wouldn’t raise suspicion or anything.

I didn’t want any of this getting back to Pea, putting him into a situation with my brother or any of his friends. I let out a deep breath that I didn’t even realize I held when Reggie smiled and nodded, seeming to accept my hasty explanation.

“There’s a lot of things I could call you, angel.” he said it so smoothly that I had not a single doubt in my mind that yet again, he was hitting on me.

But I was hurting so much at the moment, I didn’t immediately put him off. I looked up at him and gave a weak sort of smile, shrugging. “Whatever you wanna call me… Just not princess, okay?”

Reggie flashed a grin and gave me the thumbs up, springing up off the hallway floor. He held out his hand and warily, I eyed it a few seconds before finally allowing him to pull me off the floor. He walked me to class and just before I disappeared in the door, he stopped me, dragging his fingers through his hair as he eyed me up. “You gonna be alright, angel?”

“Yeah, it just hasn’t been a good day.”

“If you wanna talk.. You’ve got your old buddy Reggie.”

Somehow, when he said it, I got the distinct feeling that he meant something more by it, but I shoved the thought down. 

--

I could feel his eyes burning a hole through me and several times, I almost turned around. I almost said something. But I remembered what I was trying to do, and I remembered the way he didn’t say anything to stop me when I did it and the hurt came back all over again.

Sweet Pea hissed my name from behind and I stared straight ahead, blatantly ignoring him. The teacher gave him a dirty look and he went quiet after that. Despite my resolve not to, I found myself turning around now and then, watching him when he wasn’t looking.

But I can’t keep letting myself be a doormat. I have to stand my ground. Even if this is killing me. Even if it’s the last thing I want to do. 

Bearing that in mind, for the rest of the week, I went above and beyond to either avoid Sweet Pea or make sure I was never alone in the hallway or after class so he couldn’t find me or talk to me. I made myself scarce. I bottled everything up and I shoved it all down. And I thought I was doing a pretty damn good job at it too...

--

“You! Explain yourself right now.” Cheryl and Toni stormed into Pop’s and glared at Sweet Pea angrily as they stood by the booth he sat in by himself.

“Hey to you too, Blossom.” Sweet Pea grumbled, not even bothering to look up from the barely touched plate of food sitting on the booth in front of him. He growled quietly when Cheryl and Toni took it upon themselves to sit down in the other side of the booth without bothering to ask.

“Obviously, you two are gonna say something, so just say it and go. Kind of not in the mood.” Sweet Pea spoke up as he stared out the window, into the parking lot. 

“What kind of idiot are you?” Toni asked, shaking her head as she reached across the table, taking some of Sweet Pea’s french fries and eating them herself. He gave her a dirty look but she shrugged, wiping away ketchup from the corners of her mouth before repeating herself. “I repeat, Pea… what kind of an idiot are you?”

“A pretty big one, if you want my opinion, lover.” Cheryl answered Toni’s question before Sweet Pea could say anything.

“Can you two stop dancing around whatever this is and say it?”

“We heard about what happened with you and Alyssa. Are you seriously going to sit here and do nothing? She said she loved you, Pea. What? That’s just not good enough?”

“I know what she said.” Sweet Pea barked the statement, making both girls share a look. After quiet whispering, the two looked at him again, determined. “It was, okay? I just..” he trailed off, swearing under his breath and shaking his head as the two of them shared a look and then directed their gaze to him in unison.

 “What?” Sweet Pea grumbled, taking a sip of the soda on the table beside him.

“You’re going to fix this, you giant idiot. You have to fix it. I can’t have one of my Vixens going around all mopey or even worse, missing Homecoming festivities entirely. Need I remind you, we Vixens have a strong reputation in this school? And if one of us is lacking spirit, it makes us all look bad.”

Sweet Pea laughed. The laughter died away when he realized that they were being serious. “That’s what this is about? Your stupid cheerleading shit? You do realize I can’t fix it, right? Do you not think I’ve tried, Blossom?”

“Try harder, you big oaf.” Cheryl leaned in slightly, glaring at Sweet Pea in frustration. She added as an afterthought, “ I hate seeing her like this, okay? She’s a sweet girl and honestly, it kills me. I need her happy and bubbly. You broke my Vixen, you fix her now.” 

“Don’t hold your breath, Blossom.” Sweet Pea shrugged, his shoulders sagging as he went back to staring down at mostly untouched food. Toni eyed him and spoke up.

“Wow. I have never seen you just sit and pick at your food, Pea. This is really bothering you, isn’t it?”

“Gee… whatever gave you that idea, Topaz?” Sweet Pea snorted sarcastically, giving an eye roll as he shifted around in his seat, eyeing the door. All he wanted to do was escape right now. Because the more they said, the more it made him replay that day over and over again.

And it hurt like hell. It only made him angry at himself all over again.

“You know, you’re a stubborn ass, right? You could fix this if you really wanted to. But I guess you don’t. So I guess she’ll just wind up moving on and you’ll go back to being the miserable man-bitch we all know and love yet want to strangle.”

Toni smirked as her words hit their mark and the two of them stood, walking out of Pops, leaving Sweet Pea to stew in Toni’s parting remark. And it took hold, rooting itself in his mind.

That’s the one thing about friends who are like family. They always know where to hit at to illicit an actual reaction.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.” Sweet Pea stood, tossing his half eaten food and the empty soda into a bin and he strode out the door into the parking lot.

He happened to look across the parking lot, spot her getting out of the truck with her father, Fred.

He called her name and for once, she looked back. The hurt look in her eyes and the sad shake of her head was what really got him. He couldn’t have felt worse if he tried. He stood there, watching her walk into Pop’s with her father and in that moment, he made up his mind.

One way or another, even if it took a long time, he was going to fight. He couldn’t just give up. He couldn’t let her slip through his fingers.

--

My father cleared his throat from the seat across the booth. “Everything okay, shortcake?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s all good.”

“Well then what was all that outside?”

“What?” I asked the question, tensing a little. Sometimes, having such a perceptive father isn’t really a great thing. Especially when I don’t really… like acknowledging pain. Or dealing with it. I mean, my whole idea of dealing with the situation with Sweet Pea has been to just pretend I’m okay, but to go above and beyond to avoid him. 

“You know what I’m talkin about. The kid called your name and you gave him that look. The one you always gave Archie when you were little and Archie wouldn’t let you tag along to play.”

I plastered on my best convincing face and shook my head, taking a noisy sip of my chocolate milkshake. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, dad. He’s in my class. He was just saying hey.”

“It sounded like he was trying to talk to you.” my father pointed out and I bit my lip, glancing over at him. “Yeah, well.. If he wanted to talk, he should’ve done it earlier. At school. I’m starving. Can we order now?”

My father chuckled and for a few seconds, he eyed me as if he wanted to ask more questions. Thankfully, he let it go. “Yeah. What do you want? I think I’m gonna get my usual.”

“I think I’m going to try your usual, actually.”

“That’s a lot of burger, kid.” my father laughed.

I shrugged and did my best to laugh. As I happened to look over at the window, I did so just in time to see Sweet Pea’s truck pulling out of the parking lot. For a second or two, I wondered what he might have said if I’d walked over.

But I quickly shoved that out of my head.

-- LE TIME SKIPPE.

Cheryl spotted me making my way into the gym. “You came!” she pulled me into a hug and I nodded, shrugging. My eyes roamed around the gym and I swallowed hard, stomach sinking just a little when I saw no sign of Sweet Pea anywhere.

,, did you really think he’d show, Alyssa?” - the thought had me frowning a little, but I quickly plastered on my best attempt at a bright smile when we pulled back from the little hug. Cheryl smiled. “I love the dress. Let’s see if we can’t get you circulating…”

“Actually, I’m just gonna go get some punch? Maybe observe until they play a song worth dancing to?” I bit my lip as I said it and Cheryl eyed me a second or two, before finally giving a nod under Toni’s gaze.

If not for Toni, I have no idea Cheryl would’ve ignored me and gone ahead, doing what she wanted. It used to annoy the hell out of me when we were all kids, but now, I kind of see it as her, trying to show that she really does care.

And she’s been a lot more help than she realizes since things with Sweet Pea crashed and burned so badly. She hasn’t really… let me mope a lot. I’ve wanted to, but she and Toni always find a way to manage keeping me from it.

I made my way over to the punch bowl and the refreshments table and I turned around, my back to the crowd as I scooped punch into my cup, grumbling to myself as soon as I felt the burn of alcohol as it crawled down my throat and into my stomach. “Figures. Somebody would have to spike the punch.” I mused to myself as I sipped from the cup and momentarily toyed with the idea of just grabbing the entire chocolate cake on the table and a plastic fork, disappearing for the alcove beneath the stairs on the freshman wing.

But I told myself that I was coming tonight. I’m trying to get over him. And damn it, I’m determined to fake it til I make it.

“Wanna dance, angel?” Reggie leaned against me from behind, muttering the words quietly against my ear. I bit my lip, trying to brainstorm the best way to politely turn him down.

There’s only one guy I want to dance with, but apparently, I’m not and will never be good enough.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead, frustrated with myself.

I was about to turn around and accept Reggie’s offer  when I heard Sweet Pea speaking up from behind Reggie. “Beat it, Dog.”

“How about you fuck outta here, Serpent?” Reggie gave Sweet Pea a dirty look. 

I stood there, eyes darting from one to the other, both of them tensed and squared up, ready to go in the snap of a finger.

“Guys, no.” I spoke up, warning tone as my hand rested against my hip. “You’re not about to start this shit.”

“He started it.” both responded, glaring at the other. I rolled my eyes and tried to make  it a point to avoid Sweet Pea’s intent gaze. The way deep brown eyes roamed over every single inch of my body, lingering just enough to make my breath catch in my throat. In the end, I just couldn’t though, and I found myself getting sucked into his gaze.

I sighed quietly and managed to tear my eyes off the way he looked in a borrowed suit, the tie undone at his neck, even though the sight of him had my knees utterly weak. I focused on Reggie instead and plastered on a smile, nodding to the dance floor.

“Didn’t you ask me to dance, Reg?” I asked, stepping away from Sweet Pea and a little closer to Reggie. He held out his arm and I looped mine through, letting him lead me out onto the dance floor.

I didn’t dare look back at Sweet Pea. I didn’t have to. I could feel his eyes penetrating me, I could feel his gaze shift to Reggie and I, despite Reggie moving us towards other parts of the gym floor several times during the dance we shared. At one point, he chuckled against my ear as I grinded against him, hips swaying in time to the song playing, “If looks could kill right now, huh?”

I swallowed hard, catching eyes with Sweet Pea. He was leaned against the wall, arms folded over his chest. If he glared any harder at Reggie, Reggie would drop dead on the spot. I did my best to look like I was having the time of my life and finally, the song came to an end. Reggie chuckled and dragged his fingers through his hair as he winked at me and told me he’d find me later on tonight, maybe we’d dance again.

I nodded, even though I had every intention of disappearing long before that happened. I was heading back towards the punch bowl for another cup of punch when I felt arms wrap around my waist and I found myself body to body with Sweet Pea.

“That fuckin guy?” Sweet Pea nodded to Reggie, who was already dancing with another girl. I bit my lip and stepped back a little when Sweet Pea moved closer, towering over me.

“He asked me to dance. Seeing as how I’m here alone tonight, all dressed up, I didn’t see the harm.”

“You didn’t see the harm.” Sweet Pea was doing his best at keeping a calm tone, but I could see the exact second his fists clenched at his sides and I could hear it in the way he exhaled. What I didn’t understand was why exactly he was so jealous.

“No. I didn’t.” I swallowed hard as he stepped closer. His hand ghosted my side, fingertips digging in ever so slightly when they stilled on my hip. He leaned down just a little and muttered quietly, calmly, “Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you, princess.” using my moment of confusion to pull me closer, pressing me against him. The way he said it had my heart fluttering a little and I barely managed not whimpering at the look in his eyes when mine met his after a few seconds.

I tried to keep some distance between us, attempting to pull back a little even though that was the absolute last thing I wanted to do. I was trying to keep my defenses up. However, he seemed to pick right up on it and something softened in his eyes as he tried again, pulling me close all over again, arms around my waist. 

I couldn’t formulate words or string a single coherent thought together and it was a damn shame because there was so much I wanted to say to him. To yell at him. He’d hurt me and honestly, I just wanted to let him have it.

Instead, I sighed and melted into his arms a little, my hand raising and catching in the collar of his borrowed suit. His mouth grazed right against the shell of my ear and he muttered huskily against, “You’re so fucking beautiful.” before tilting my chin so that I had to look up at him. I gulped, taking a deep breath.

“You really hurt me. I mean, you really, really hurt me.” I pouted a little, at least making a valiant effort to stand my ground and make him own up to his part in the way things played out almost two weeks ago. He flinched, his hand leaving my hip and raising to rake hair back out of my eyes as he continued to stare down at me intently, lost in thought. I took a deep breath and continued, “I should just walk away. Right now.”

“Princess, don’t.” Sweet Pea spoke up quietly with his tone torn between firmness and fear, leaning his forehead down, resting it against mine. Somebody got the DJ to play Love Me Like You Do and for a second, I heavily considered it, just walking off the dance floor and maybe even leaving the dance altogether.

Instead, I took a deep breath and met his gaze, eyeing him expectantly. “Do you have nothing at all to say for yourself, Sweet Pea?”

“Oh, I got plenty to say, princess. I’m just not saying it here, in front of everyone.” Sweet Pea muttered the words quietly, his lips brushing right up against mine as he spoke. I sucked in a sharp breath but I also pouted again, tensing against him a little, because obviously, that was the entirety of our problem to start with. I knew how he felt, hypothetically, I never really doubted it until that last day I talked to him, when he didn’t try to stop me, when he didn’t come after me and trust me enough not to hurt him like he’d already been hurt to let it all go. I did manage to step back just a little, putting space between us and I shook my head. “Wrong answer, Sweet Pea.”

He swallowed hard, looking around.

I bit my lip, shuffling my feet against the gym floor. I didn’t want to do this, but I also didn’t want to get hurt again. I didn’t want to risk anything until I knew that this time, things were going to be a little different.

If not, I couldn’t just stick around and keep waiting, no matter how much I wanted to. What if he was never ready to let me in?

“What do you want me to say? I love you? Fine. I love you.” Sweet Pea was stepping closer all over again, hands firmly planted on my hips this time to hold me in place. At first, I thought about bolting because I wasn’t entirely sure whether he was just saying it now to get me to stay or whether he meant it, but then I looked up and my eyes actually met his.

“I love you and this whole thing is driving me fucking insane, princess.” he pulled me completely against him this time, staring down at me almost hungrily. He grumbled and rolled his shoulders making muscular arms strain against the ill fitting suit and I found my eyes fixated on that, distracted. 

“I see you checking me out, princess. Is there something you want? Just tell me and it’s yours, I promise.” the question was posed with that trademark cocky smirk and I gulped, locking eyes with him. Seconds felt stretched into hours and neither of us said anything, we just stared. At least until I felt his hands wandering all over me as we danced. He leaned in closer, a hand leaving where it rested against my ass to raise to my cheek, gripping, guiding my mouth straight to his own. 

My back hit one of the gym walls softly and I found myself pressed right up against it, his hand lowering from where it rested on my cheek to roam all over my body as his mouth devoured mine hungrily. I could feel my lips starting to bruise and swell and when his teeth sank into my bottom one, tugging at it, I whimpered and raised my arms, wrapping them around his neck, only after I dragged my fingers over his scalp. His other hand tangled in my hair, using his grip to pull my lips into the kiss even deeper still. By this point, we were both gasping for breath, panting heavily and a whimper bubbled out of my throat when he bucked himself against me and growled into the kiss quietly just before it broke, both of us pulling away, wide-eye and trying desperately to catch our breath.

“I asked you a question. Is there anything you want right now, princess?” his voice was a low rumble when he spoke and the way he towered over me, staring down, with an arm raised and his palm flat against the wall I was pressed up against had me leaning against him heavily, all the bones pretty much leaving my legs and reducing them to gelatin just a little more with each little touch, with each on purpose graze of his mouth against my ear or my neck, even the front of my throat. I finally managed to rub against him a little and he growled quietly, biting his bottom lip as he looked down at me, the lust burning bright in his eyes. 

The music changed to a slower song and I shivered at the way he rubbed himself against me, the way he strained against the suit pants making me bite my lip and cling to him, rubbing against him right back. I was grateful for the fact that we were in the back of the gym and nobody was really paying us any attention, because I’d never really danced this dirty with anyone before.

The next thing I knew, I was being scooped up into his arms and carried out of the gym. I clung to him, my lips grazing up and down the side of his neck, little whimpers as he whispered things to me while carrying me out of the dance.

He unlocked his truck, opening the passenger door and sitting me in the seat, stepping between my legs as his hands wandered up and down my sides, then over my thighs. My head fell back and I licked my lips, earning me a growl and him leaning in against me heavily to whisper against the shell of my ear, “You know what that does to me, princess.”

“No, I actually don’t. I didn’t, I mean.” I managed to gasp out in a shaky breath against his ear as my hands wandered down the front of the button up top, unable to still, touching him in any way I could. My legs wrapped around his hips and squeezed against, my heels digging into his ass to pull him against me even more. It ended up leaning me back against the seat a little and Sweet Pea followed me down, his lips ghosting down the front of my throat, littering soft skin with bites and marks.

“We’re leaving, princess… If that’s okay with you.” he managed to gasp out the question when he pulled himself away from my neck and throat, catching his breath as he stared down at me, almost anxiously. It was a switch from the way he usually carried himself, so cocky and self-assured at all times. It let me know just how much I’d truly gotten to him.

“Mhm.” I purred against his neck after I’d melted into him again, muttering a few seconds later, “I like you this close to me. You’re warm.” and batting my lashes, making him growl quietly when the movement tickled his skin. His fingers dug into my body even more, squeezing as if he were trying desperately to hang onto any shred of self-control he might have left. 

“This isn’t getting us outta here, princess.” he gave a low and dark chuckle against my mouth as he zeroed in on it again, another bruising and deep kiss that left my lips swollen and achy. I whimpered, almost needy as he stepped away, tucked my legs into his truck and shut the passenger door firmly. He jogged around to the driver seat and got in, wasting no time in cranking the truck and spinning out of the parking lot and onto the street that ran right past it.

His hand left the steering wheel, moving slowly up and down my thigh, making me whimper and squirm as he nodded to the space next to him in the middle of the bench seat. “C’mon, princess. Get closer.”

I moved closer, leaning against his side and my breath caught in my throat when I felt his hand venture up my dress, rubbing me through the pink satin beneath it. He leaned in a little at the one redlight in town and muttered almost cocky against my ear, “Princess, you’re dripping.” and bit his lip as he pulled away, turning his attention back to the road in front of us as the light went green. The more he rubbed, the more I rocked myself against his hand, making him chuckle quietly. “Good girl. Such a good girl. Just a few more minutes, okay? And then, if you let me, I’m gonna take real good care of you. I mean that, princess.” 

My head fell back against the seat with a soft thud and I whimpered as I rocked myself against his hand even more after he started to rub harder, faster. “Sweet Pea.” I choked out, panting heavily, “Don’t stop. Feels so good.”

The truck pulled to a stop and he killed the engine, wrangling me into his lap, making me pout because he’d taken his hand away. His lips were all over my face and neck until I couldn’t take it anymore and I was literally dying to be kissed again, my hands resting against his cheeks and pulling his mouth against mine greedily.

He bucked himself into me from below and as I rocked myself back and forth in his lap, his fingers dug into my sides, pressing me down harder. “Fuck. I can feel you dripping, princess. This feel good?”

“Yes. So good.” I gasped as I buried my lips in his neck, leaving a mark of my own behind, making him groan and buck into me harder, holding my hips still so that he had control over the friction as he looked me up and down, almost as if he were sizing up mentally just how long it would take to strip me down.

He stepped out of his truck, not bothering to put me down, carrying me up the steps and into his trailer, the door shut and locked behind us. My back pressed into it as his hand made it’s way back up my dress and he bucked against me, rubbing his hand harder against soaked pink satin. 

“Sweet Pea.” I moaned out, shattering the silence in the trailer. “Yeah, baby girl?” he breathed against my ear, his fingers trailing a line straight up my slit after slipping into my panties. “Now. Need you now.” I nipped at his neck as I raised one of my legs to his waist, trying to keep myself steady.

“Now, hmm? If that’s what you want, princess.” he broke the kiss and pulled back, searching my eyes, almost as if he were making sure that I wanted to go this far. I licked my lips and whimpered, rocking myself against his hand all over again, begging for it breathlessly until he pulled me up his body and carried me over to the mattresses he slept on, my back hitting them softly as he sank down, sitting next to me. I climbed into his lap, my fingers pulling at the buttons on his shirt after I’d managed to tug down the jacket of the suit, letting it fall to the bed. His hands disappeared up my dress, fingers catching in the waistband of my panties, tearing them away with a quiet rip and tossing them onto the floor by the bed. He laid me back, positioning himself over me, pressing himself down into me and his mouth rolled over my neck, leaving more bitemarks and little nips behind, smirking against my skin as he did so.

“Everybody’s gonna know you’re mine, princess. You sure you’re okay with that?” his voice was husky, laced with sex and want, almost raw and primal as his lips brushed against my ear and he rocked himself against me. I got my hands free from where they’d been caught and immediately, I went for the button and zipper on his pants, tugging pants and boxers down at the same time. They pooled at his feet as he stood up and he kicked them free, sending them skidding quietly out into the middle of the floor before turning his attention to the little tray table at the head of the bed, digging around on top of it, coming up with a condom in his grip. 

He pulled himself away from me, because he’d been pressed against me again, tearing the wrapper with his teeth and spitting the foil onto the floor after he’d torn the packaging.As he prepared to put it on, I gently pushed his hand away, gazing up at him as my hand circled his cock, working the rubber sheath down in place over it. He growled, bucking himself into my hand and almost the second it was fully on, he had me on my back again, lowering himself down over me.

My legs wrapped around him and he rose up, his hand circling his thick member, guiding it right over my slit, making me gasp as he stared down at me and bit his lip, leaning down just a little to murmur against my ear, “Don’t let me hurt you, princess.”

I hissed as I felt the tip slowly slip in and my nails dug into his shoulders as I tensed all over. He went still, staring down at me, kissing me all over my face before zeroing into my mouth again, but not until I begged for it first.

He started to fuck into me slowly as I began to relax, and I rocked my hips up to meet each thrust, the tips of my fingers gripping at his shoulders a little harder with each one. “You feel so so good, princess. So good. You’re okay, right?”

“Feels good.” I gasped, my eyes fluttering open and shut as I started to feel myself tensing, this slow and lazy heat settling in my core. I could feel myself dripping, and the soft smack of our bodies with every single thrust echoed off the walls of the trailer. He slowed to a stop again, muttering against my lips in a daze, “Gotta slow down, princess. I wanna take my time with you.” and I nodded. I wasn’t really in a hurry to get home, my father told Archie and I we could be out late tonight because of the dance.

Honestly, I’d told him I’d probably just stay over at Cheryl’s or something and he’d been okay with it.

The prospect of having a whole night alone with Sweet Pea was exciting. 

His thrusts sped up a little and when I raised my arms to wrap them around his neck again, he chuckled, smiling down at me, a softer version of his usual cocky smirk. “You feel so good, princess. You’re takin me so well. C’mon, move your hips, baby girl. That’s it.” he groaned out against my ear as he started to slam into me harder, more erratically. 

By now, that slow and lazy heat in my core had turned into a dull throb and I moaned out, rocking my hips to meet his thrusts with more urgency because I could feel myself getting closer and closer with each stroke. He growled and gripped at my hips, trying to hold me still and stay in control, chuckling against my ear almost teasingly, “You gonna come for me?”

“So.. so close.. Don’t stop.” I begged over and over as his thrusts got deeper, rougher, and his fingers dug into my hips, the smack of his body against mine almost in competition to overcome the sound of our combined moans and groans and the soft sucks and slurps every single time his mouth conquered mine. He licked his lips and his jaw clenched, I got the feeling he was holding back and holding off and I dug my heels into his ass, driving him even deeper inside. He groaned against my skin, “Fuck. C’mon, princess. Let go.” as my orgasm shattered through and it pushed him over the edge too, his cock pulsing, my walls vising tight around it as we clung to each other and tried to catch our breath.

After peppering my face and neck and collarbone with kisses, he flopped onto the mattress next to me, rolling onto his side, trailing those thick fingertips slowly over my bare skin as he stared down at me. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. We’re okay.” I yawned out, rolling onto my side to face him, slipping my leg over his hip. He raised his hand, gliding it slowly over my thigh, gingerly trailing his fingertips over a few light bruises his hands and fingers left behind on my body. 

“You sleepy, baby girl?” he laughed, teasing me a little as my eyes started to get heavy... 

[rene-writes-or-tries-to-write]

How to Break John Winchester’s Nose: A fangirl’s guide

This was on my main, but I’m moving it here. 

                           - 7:36 PM, May 14, 2020, Pocatello, Idaho -

The road was empty. Nothing moved. Not even a breeze stirred the trees. As she watched, a speck rounded the corner. She narrowed her eyes. That was her mark. Time to go.

 The girl was tired, angry, and cold. She had been walking for hours, headed north toward Chubbuck. She had no true destination, just the need to get away. “Go for a walk,” they said. She’d been on more walks in the past couple of months than she had for the past year. She was bored of walks, and just wanted to go home. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t have a home, not really. She was so lost in thought that she did not notice the wind pick up. Dead leaves, grass, and dandelion fluff whipped around her. It was only when a stick hit her arm that she looked up to see the vortex forming around her.

 “What the fu-” her words were cut off by a high pitched noise. A second later she was gone, and there was no trace that she had ever been there.

                             - 9:52 PM, June 3, 1996, Pocatello, Idaho –

John Winchester was headed out of town, eager to return to Sioux Falls to retrieve his boys. The day had been a long one, and he hadn’t had much incentive to sticking around town. The dark of the night settled around his truck, and he relaxed slightly in the driver’s seat. Plenty of open road awaited him, and the drive would take a couple of days, allowing him a couple of stops at bars, and the possibility of some company for a night. He put on some music and allowed his mind to wander.

 A half hour or so later, the ferocity of the wind brought him back. The wind was going crazy, seemingly forming a vortex. Immediately, all traces of relaxation disappeared from John Winchester. He slammed the brakes to avoid the funnel, grabbed his gun, and reached for the door.

 The wind stopped. Leaves and sticks fell to the ground. In the center of it all stood a girl, looking to be somewhere around the age of fifteen. She was wearing a leather jacket, jeans, and a t-shirt and scarf. She spun on her heel, absorbing her surroundings. She stopped when her eyes landed on the truck. John took this as his cue to exit said truck, gun hidden beneath his jacket.

 “Hey there,” he said, not wanting to startle her.

 “Hel-” she froze, getting her first good look at him. She sucked a breath in. John hesitated, weighing his next move. Before he came to a decision, a fist connected with his nose. He reeled back, cursing, and pressed a hand to his bleeding nose. Barely giving him a second to process the fact that the punch had been thrown with good technique and with a surprising amount of power, she followed it up with a sidekick. John dodged out of the way and fumbled for his gun. He had barely managed to pull it free when the side of the girl’s foot connected with it, sending the gun flying toward the side of the road. Her foot finished its arc, landing behind her in a fighting stance, only to spring off immediately to round kick him in the head. He blocked it and returned fire with a right hook, which she blocked. He followed the right hook with an uppercut, which she didn’t block. A rush of air left her. John didn’t give her time to recover, using the precious few seconds he had to grab the silver knife from his jacket and slash at her face. She responded quickly, but not quick enough, allowing the knife to slash across her arm. She grimaced at the cut, but didn’t display a worse reaction, which threw John for a loop. Given her mysterious appearance in the middle of the road, the way she had seemed to recognize him, and the immediate, well-coordinated attack, he had expected her to be, well, not human. Still, silver didn’t rule everything out.

 The girl, meanwhile, had retreated to John’s truck and was clutching her injured arm, hissing. She looked up at John warily, evidently expecting an attack. His next actions surprised both him and her. He strode over and held out his hand.

 “The name’s John Winchester. Can I get the name of the chick that just broke my nose?”

 The girl hesitated. She didn’t particularly trust John, but the mere fact that he existed… what harm could telling him her name do anyway?

 “Clara. I’d apologize for the broken nose but it’d be a lie.”

 “OK, Clara, you wanna let me take a look at that arm?”

 “You’re the one who cut it, why should I let you anywhere near it?”

 “I’ve got a med kit?”

 “….Fine.”

 John went around the truck to grab the med kit from the trunk, and also to avoid having the kid see the weapons in the back. A few minutes saw the kid’s arm cleaned and bandaged.

 “Well, I can’t leave you out here. Get in, I’ll take you home.”

 She snorted. “Home? Yeah, good luck with that.”

 “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 “Best to just show you,” she said, climbing into the truck, leaving John to get to the driver’s seat.

 “Where to?”

 “Hmmm? Oh, right,” she paused. “Pocatello, Idaho.”

 John simply nodded and drove, leaving the questioning for later.

                            - 11:38 PM, June 3, 1996, Pocatello, Idaho –

Clara had spent the last hour or so having her entire world turned on its head. She had been kidnapped by a cyclone (of all the clichés!), found by John Winchester, cut by John Winchester, treated by John Winchester, and driven by John Winchester. She’d broken his (John Winchester’s!) nose. She couldn’t stop running his name through her head on repeat, a fair reaction given that an hour ago the man had been a fictional character. She had no regrets about her initial reaction, as she felt wholeheartedly that the man deserved a broken nose, hell, she thought he deserved worse. He was a shitty father, not that great of a husband, and a terrible person in general. She did have some lingering doubts about letting him drive her anywhere. In the end, she figured, she could explain some of the truth, seeing as she likely didn’t legally exist in this universe yet.

She played with the ends of her scarf, nervous about his reaction. A sudden thought hit her, and she immediately zipped up her jacket to hide the Supernatural t-shirt she had on underneath, and tried to subtly rearrange her scarf to hide the slightly modified anti-possession symbols on the ends and the large, all caps “WINCHESTER BROTHERS” on it. John took notice and cranked the heat up.

“Cold?”

“Not anymore. Could we get some tunes?”

John reached behind them and grabbed a cassette tape at random, sliding it in. Zep’s Immigrant Song hit them at full volume, and Clara smirked, thinking of Thor: Ragnorak. The smirk disappeared a second later, when she realized that the MCU had yet to be introduced, much less developed to the point of Ragnorak. She felt slightly faint.

“You okay there?” 

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Perfectly fine. A bit thirsty.”

John took the opportunity to hand her the holy water, a move she had anticipated. She took a sip.

“Tastes a bit odd. Is it from some well in the middle of nowhere?” She drank some more. 

John had been watching her reaction closely, and was a tad bit startled.

“N-No, just a motel.”

He handed her a generously salted sandwich. 

“Here, you must be hungry.”

She took a large bite of it, then paused.

“Thoo much thalt,” she stated, mouth full. Swallowing the mouthful, she continued, “not enough meat.”

 “You’re human,” John blurted, surprised.

 “Well yeah, what’d you expect, three rats in a trench?”

 John forced a laugh.

 “You never know. So, mind telling me why you broke my nose before you even finished sayin’ hello?”

 “Oh, that’s easy. I find myself on a lonely stretch of road in the dark, alone but for a large black truck and a big guy, who judging by his stance, is ex-military, Marine if I had to guess, who is tense, likely trigger happy, and armed, going off of the glint of metal from his belt and the lump in his jacket, so logically, I get him before he can get me. You wouldn’t have been the first guy to jump me, and I learned my lesson pretty quickly after the first two times.”

 John’s mouth was hanging open, something Clara found quite amusing. Her explanation, of course, wasn’t the truth. Well, not the whole truth anyhow. She had been jumped before, and it was distinctly not pleasant. She knew he was an ex-Marine, not from his stance, but from knowledge brought from a totally different universe, from what she could guess.

 “I-I wasn’t going to attack you!” he said defensively.

 “Sure. Better safe than sorry though.”

 As she said that, the black truck rumbled to a stop in front of a no-tell motel. John got out, then turned around and asked, “ya comin’ or what, kid?”

 Clara slid out of the truck, dropping to the ground.

 “Why, and I cannot emphasize this enough, the actual fuck is this thing so high up?”

 “To make you complain. Hurry up, it actually is cold out here.” With that, he turned on his heel and marched into the lobby.

 The poor kid at the desk was awoken by John Winchester’s fist pounding the desk. They got one room, two queens.

 The moment Clara’s head hit the pillows she was out. Or so John assumed. She watched through mostly shut eyes as he methodically checked and cleaned his gun, then salted above the door and the windows. He finally crashed an hour after she’d “gone to sleep”. She waited another half hour, then allowed the darkness to drag her away from the land of the living.

                            - 6:43 AM, June 4, 1996, Pocatello, Idaho –

John Winchester awoke to the smell of coffee and bagels, and the sounds of an unfamiliar person moving about his room. Keeping his eyes shut, he inched his hand under his pillow, reaching for the familiar weight of his gun.

 And found nothing.

 A voice cut through the slight panic in his mind.

 “Looking for this?”

 John opened his eyes to see a fifteen year old girl standing above him, holding his gun. The events of the previous night came rushing back. He sighed, rubbed his eyes, and sat up, reaching out a hand to take the gun back. She set it in his palm, reached behind herself, and presented a cup of coffee.

“No idea how you take it, but I figured you might need some if we were gonna get an early start.”

 “Two things: I take it with two creams, no sugar, and how’d you pay for this?”

 “Noted, and I borrowed some money from your wallet. Drink up, I got you a bagel, you can eat it on the way.”

 “…On the way to what exactly?”

 “To show you that I don’t exist yet, genius.”

 John had yet to drink the coffee, and thus did not really process her words or the fact that he was being bossed around by a teenaged girl.

 Twenty minutes saw John caffeinated, fed, and in the truck on the way to Clara’s high school to get at the student records. It was at this point that he remembered her nonsensical statement.

 “What the hell do you mean you don’t exist yet?”

 “Oh. Um. Right. So while I was out this morning, I grabbed the paper. The date’s the 4th of June, 1996.”

 “Yeah, and?”

 She sucked in a breath. “And I was born February 3, 2005.”

 Silence.

 “Come again?”

 “I was born Feb-”

 “No, I heard you. I just don’t see how that’s possible.”

 “Hey, I assume you saw that cyclone. It pulled me out of May 2020, on the road out of Pocatello.”

 “And you aren’t freaking out why, exactly?”

 “I watch a very weird tv show.”

 “So we’re going to your high school why?”

 “To show you I’m not on the records. But you’ll likely find Daddy Dearest on there.” The way she said “Daddy Dearest” was full of bitterness and loathing. John stored that away for later.

 “Right.”

 They spent the rest of the ride in silence. Upon arriving at the school, both of them slipped seamlessly into their roles. John, a tired single father, and Clara, his smart but shy daughter. The principal let them into her office, asking them a multitude of questions regarding their supposed move, Clara’s previous education, John’s job, their home situation, Clara’s fictional deceased mother. Fortunately for them, they both had plenty of experience lying on their toes. The moment the principal left to deal with a fight that Clara had set up on her way in by stealing one kid’s lunch and putting it in another kid’s bag, they were out of their seats, searching for the records. Clara started rifling through the drawers, while John seated himself in front of the computer. Four minutes later, John was clicking through student records and Clara was standing behind him.

 “No Claras in here.”

 “Probably because that’s a fake name. Try Rachel Fusson.”

 “No Rachels, but there are a whole slew of Fussons. Currently enrolled are Owen and Daniel.”

 “Owen’s the old man.”

 Footsteps told of the principal’s approach. John quickly exited the file and shut the computer down, while Clara scrambled to close all the cabinets. They both slid into their seats a moment before she opened the door and attempted to look innocent. The principal apologized for the interruption and continued her interrogation. It took them half an hour to escape her clutches.

                             - 8:36 AM, June 4, 1996, Pocatello, Idaho –

Clara had woken that morning drenched in a cold sweat. Upon realizing that there was no immediate danger, she had relaxed and turned to the clock. 4:22 AM. The fuck was she supposed to do at 4 AM? She glanced to her right and saw another occupied bed. John Winchester. Right. She was no longer in the middle of a global pandemic, nor was she anywhere close to her home universe. She wasn’t terribly upset about being pulled out of a world where she couldn’t hug her friends, or even really see them. She also wasn’t terribly upset about being yanked away from her relatives, seeing as they were fairly dedicated to beating her down in every way possible. They had belittled her, toyed with her emotions, and, depending on the “transgression”, beat her. She did, however, miss her friends, her pets, and her girlfriend. Fuck. What would they think had happened? A snore jolted her out of her thoughts.

 “Focus,” she hissed to herself.

 First order of business: coffee and food. She got up, putting 15 years of sneaking into use to grab John’s wallet, his gun, and her shoes. She slipped out the front door and went in search of a coffee shop. Half an hour of wandering brought her to a hole-in-the-wall run by a guy wearing more layers than a Winchester and sporting a mustache the size of Texas. She bought two cups of coffee, two bagels, and the paper. She grabbed a couple of cups cream and some sugar for John, and headed back to the motel. She’d downed half her coffee and most of her bagel (and made her bed) when he started inching his hand toward his pillow in search of his gun. She made her way over to him.

 Second order of business: get some food and coffee into John Winchester and then get him to the high school to show him the records and prove her case about being from 2020. She grinned at the panicked expression on the hunter’s face at finding no gun, holding up said gun and asking him if he was looking for it. Another half hour saw them safely arrived at the school, with John informed of her current predicament. Knowing they’d need a distraction, she put the shipper eyes to work, immediately spotting two boys with so much unresolved sexual tension between them that it’d turned to animosity from what she could see. She nabbed the taller one’s lunchbox, slipping it into the other one’s backpack. She hoped they’d get their heads out of their asses soon, but not soon enough to unravel her plan (everyone who said shipping was a waste of time and energy could suck it).

 After the principal left, Clara sprung for the drawers, having no idea how to work the old computer (John really wasn’t much better). She scanned through the files, seeing detention slips, complaints, and write-ups, but no records.

 “Hey.” John had found the records.

 Forty-five minutes later, they were back at the motel.

 “Okay, so lemme get this straight-” started John.

 Clara snorted. “Good luck with that.”

 John squinted, not getting it. He continued, “you were born in 2005, you came from the year 2020, and you can fight better than a lot of the “professionals” I know. Who the fuck are you, Clara? Or should I call you Rachel?”

 “Let’s stick with Clara. I’m just a kid from Pocatello. I can fight, because, like I said, I’ve been jumped before. Once was enough, so I learned to fight so next time I wouldn’t be helpless. Why are you taking the time travel thing so well? You didn’t freak out, just questioned the hows and whys.”

 “I’ve seen a lot of crazy shit, kid.” With that, he stood up and started packing the few things he’d unpacked the night before.

 Clara sat and watched him, having nothing of her own to pack.

 “Let’s go,” said John, moving out the door.

Chapter two here: X

[missroserose]

Soft Asks: 1 & 6 & 8 & 12 (I'm greedy for softness today.)

  YES PLEASE BE GREEDY.  I wasn’t kidding, this is a rough week all around, so let’s get soft. <3

1.) what song makes you feel better?

Honestly, it depends.  For instance, when I’m feeling bad in the sense that I’m facing down a huge and intimidating task, I usually go for something upbeat and major key—like Walk the Moon’s Shut Up and Dance, or Janelle Monae’s The Way You Make Me Feel, or Amtrac’s Never Lost.  If I’m having one of those days where I have things to do but it’s feeling like I’m having to push through syrup to get anywhere, I tend toward something similarly driving but more minor/suspended chords—Meg Myers’ cover of Running Up That Hill has been on my playlist a lot lately, as has In This Moment’s Roots and K. Flay’s Blood In The Cut.  And if I’m just in that place where everything is A Lot and there’s not much I can do about it, I’ll usually go for slower synth-y stuff—Björk’s Possibly Maybe is a perennial favorite, though I’ve lately been listening to Slowdive’s Sugar for the Pill and The Stone Roses’ I Wanna Be Adored.  And, of course, just about anything by Cigarettes After Sex.

(I, uh, hope you know me well enough by now to know that if you ask me to name a song you’re going to get at least nine options, with links XD)

6.) say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

Ooo!  I think self-appreciation is highly underrated so I’m glad to get this question.  Let’s see...Physical:

1.)  I love the various customizations I’ve made to my body—short colorful hair, large arty tattoos, multiple piercings.  Almost all of them have made me feel more me in a way that’s evanescent but insistent.

2.)  I’m not gonna beat around the bush—I freaking love my arms.  Ever since I started lifting a couple of years ago I’ve been completely surprised (and pleased!) at how much I’ve enjoyed watching my biceps slowly grow.  Being able to hoist heavy things is awesome too, but...I admit it, I totally flex in the mirror sometimes.  (I’ve caught myself doing it on Zoom calls too, haha.)  I have a rose tattoo on one arm and I adore how it accents the shape of the muscles.

3.)  I like my general body shape.  Large hip structure runs in my family (my mother calls them the Rose hips), and while that means I would likely never have made it as a ballerina or gymnast past puberty, I’m not at all sad I ended up with an hourglass shape.  (Though it does make finding jeans that fit in both the hips and waist a bit of a trick...I’ve had good experiences with Fran Denim, which definitely was not inspired at all by their marketing prominently featuring generously proportioned women with tattoos riding motorcycles...ahem.)

As for the non-physical...

1.) I feel like I have a pretty good left-brain/right-brain balance (though, point of note, the popular conception of “left brain = logic and right brain = creativity” is actually pretty bullshit).  I love that I can think creatively and also analytically—there are times when both are needed.  I think it’s part of why I’ve made such a good massage therapist—I enjoy the squishier social-interaction heal-the-world side of the business, but I’m also good at the hard-nosed business and boundary-setting and hustling-for-clients part that a lot of people in the industry have trouble with.

2.)  I really love my writing.  I’m not trying to brag, just...you know those memes about “I am looking for very specific fic content, and if I cannot find it, I will create it?”  Yeah, that’s me.  I don’t often read back over my stories but when I do (even when it’s something I’m not proud of and I expect to cringe) I often end up surprised at how much I enjoy it.

3.)  I love my ability to perform.  I was talking with @harringroveheart about how I read some of my smut aloud (by request, with warnings) at a salon last night, and they were all “are you genetically incapable of being embarrassed??” and I had to think back to all the times that I read aloud to my mother who’d correct my pronunciation on every third word, or sang karaoke at a bar only to be met with complete indifference, or taught yoga to three people who refused to make eye contact and immediately bounced the moment class was over...so no, I’m very capable of being embarrassed, and in fact it’s been a struggle to get to where I am now.  But man, learning to give fewer fucks has been incredibly freeing—and when you keep trying, every once in a while you hit that home run of a performance that connects with the entire audience and stays with you long after the embarrassing memories fade.

8.) tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good.

So many someones!  @blahblahblahcollapse is a great beta reader and writing cheerleader.  @introvertia often surprises me with her insight and delights me with her kindness.  @trashcangimmick is the kind of chill and comforting dude everyone should have in their lives, and often gives excellent writing advice to boot (even when he’s laughing at my perfectionism).  @skybound2 gives great music recommendations and nerds out with me over immortal relationships.  @twobrokenwyngs listens patiently when I need to vent, and patiently listens to my advice when she needs to vent.  @neonelectriclady sends me pictures of delicious-looking bread and awesome Star Trek memes and talks to me about cloud butts.  @thisisnotmolchanka is the best metamour, creative and clever and ambitious and genuinely kind in a way you rarely see all together at once in one person.  There are tons more I could name, but this post is already getting long...

12.) how are you?

I think I’m just gonna link xkcd for this one.

In truth, I’m...more or less okay.  Being unemployed is turning out to be something of a mixed bag this week—like, on the one hand, I can sleep in until 10 and be a lump on the couch in my PJs all day, but on the other hand...I can sleep in until 10 and be a lump on the couch in my PJs all day.  Luckily I’m hosting writing group this afternoon, so that’ll be a good distraction, as well as at least requiring me to get dressed.  (Not that anyone would really bat an eye if I booted up Zoom and was still in my bathrobe, but, y’know.)

let’s get soft together!

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

[latenightbotanist]

time for ME to ramble about SILO too i guess

ok i only listened to it once yet and i am (understandably) shaky sooo... keep that in mind thoughtful posts may follow ...... later

On Decatur Street slaps and also gives me massive summer camp nostalgia i wanna drive along a dirt road at sunset with my friends i haven't seen in years while listening to this song on full volume maybe fuck around and lie in the back of a pick up truck idk

Ladybug......is perfect what can i say i will ALWAYS be a slut for ladybug although i do miss the beatboxing tbh but oh i am so excited to have this at my disposal anytime anywhere in good fucking quality hell yeah its exactly as amazing as i always expected it to be ladybug is the ultimate bop there i said it 

Brown of Gold: i can see what y'all were on about this song is good although not quite what i expected it to be from the bits i accidentally read on here but uhhhhh the chorus hhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah also Jonah singing baby baby....yea. yes. god please yes.

I did, in fact, think there was no way to make Follow Through any better but.... they did? they really did it y'all. impressive. beautiful. inspiring.

Tug of War Kid wins the unofficial vibes contest folks,,,, if you have the means to put a speaker on your chest to physically feel the vibes.. Do It (for the entire album but especially) for this one i promise you it will be Transcendent

Bigger Sky made me cry. like yes i was sobbing and whining the entire time before but this one produced actual tears and i don't easily cry listening to music if im anywhere in the vicinity of my regular headspace but this one... hit Something i cannot say what i will analyse this later 

10/31 is..... hauntingly beautiful...  also i know halloween and i can dig that but until then i absolutely will make this my randonauting soundtrack thanks a lot

This One’s Mine i need to listen to a couple more times there's something there but i can't quite grasp it yet 

Must Be A Dream has big Altogether vibes i don't know also yet another thing to remind me to do reality checks big kudos to this entire fandom and also the boys personally i guess

See The Day.................................................. also made me cry but this one i am zero percent surprised by omg it is So Fucking Beautiful fuck off

Newton’s First: ouch Jonah. ouch. this one i expect to bring me big agony if i listen to it enough also i wanna give the big guy a big hug 

overall: very different from what i was expecting? But still so so fucking good god i love them all so much i cannot wait to really dig my gay lil hands in there and drag out all the buried yearning and see how the vibes hit different over time and find out which lines will slap me in the face on a random umpteenth relisten and then fill my journal with way too many pages of emotional colour splotches and dreamscapes with lyrics and learning alllll the words and singing them at the moon and and and