#also the lyrics in the drawing are from the song Glass Moon Dance by The Vanished People

[beepject]

i usually don't do traditional art but...... did i cook

[chicksung]

The Firsts With My Last || Park Jisung

Genre: fluff, lil bit of angst, best friends to lover au

Pairing: childhood best friend!jisung x reader

Word Count: 6.3k

Warning/s: small argument, food 

Synopsis: a collection of firsts with Park Jisung

A/N: Aaaaaahhhhh!!! it’s finally here! I cannot express how happy and excited I am for this! I worked so so so hard on this and I hope that you enjoy it! Feedback is welcome! Thank you to the lovely Elle @joh--pping for making the header! 

Networks: @nctnetwrite​ @nct-writers​ @kpopscape​ @neoturtles​ @neoswitchnet​

Taglist: @moonbeamsung @lebrookestore @jaeminpeachy @joh--pping @kyuwoyo @nksideblog @ncvltrtchnlgy @vera-liscious @ncteaxhoe @neojaems @ethaeriyeol

First meeting

First grade, a time where your biggest worry was if you would be home in time to watch your favourite cartoon. That was also the age you met Park Jisung. Your teacher had handed out a simple colouring-in to keep the students entertained for the few minutes before the lunch bell rang. You had been peacefully drawing when one of your classmates, Chenle, had tried to grab the blue coloured pencil that was in your grasp. It was part of a pencil set your grandmother had given to you and you held it very dear to your heart, so the fact that one of troublemakers was trying to take it from you, made you severally upset. Despite the discouragements from his friends to leave you alone, you and Chenle continued your intense game of tug-o-war on the pencil until you heard a heart stopping snap. The pencil splintered down the middle, unable to take the pressure anymore. You could only eyeball it in shock, reality finally settling in that Chenle had broken your favourite pencil. The bell rang and you stared at Chenle, scooping up the two halves of the broken pencil into your chubby hands. You were the first one out of the classroom, tears streaming down your face as you grabbed your lunchbox and disappeared into the playground.

You hid behind a tree, attempting to summon your much needed magical abilities to somehow stick the two halves back together. No matter how hard you pressed them into each other, they wouldn’t bond together with an invisible force. At this realisation, you began to sob again, hiding your face into your knees, quiet wails escaping your lips. You continued to cry until you saw a pair of red and blue shoes come into your tear blurred vision from beneath your legs. You looked up and were met with a chubby cheeked child, a child you recognised as one of your classmates and one of Chenle’s friends who had tried to convince him to stop roughhousing with you.

“I’m sorry about your pencil. Chenle can be a bit of a butthead,” The boy gave you an awkward smile before shifting the wood chips and dirt around with the toe of his shoe. “Do you mind if I sit with you?” He asked politely, his eyes big and friendly. As much as you wanted to be alone and definitely did not want to be accompanied by someone who was on friendly terms with the culprit of the state your pencil was in, you couldn't find it in your heart to say no to his friendly gesture. You nodded sadly and he immediately occupied the space next to you. He looked at the broken pieces in your hand and a smile crept to his face. 

“There is one good thing about your broken pencil,” He stated, making you snap your head towards him.

“What is there good about this? My favourite pencil is broken because of your dumb friend,” You didn’t mean to snap at him, but you were so overcome with emotions and anger for what had happened, it slipped out. The boy looked at you, a little shocked at the fact you had called his friend dumb, but at the same time, he had called him dumb on multiple occasions. 

“Think about it! If you sharpen this side of this one,” He pointed to the more splintered of the two pieces, “you could have two blue pencils,” He said with such innocence and optimism that it was infectious. You looked at the half and smiled. You had never thought about it like that. You were too caught up in the fact that it was broken to focus on anything else. 

“You’re right!” You squeaked, a small laugh erupting from you. You turned to the boy once again, an unanswered question lingering in your mind.

“What’s your name?”

The boy smiled again, but this time it wasn’t awkward. “Park Jisung. What’s yours?”

“Y/N.”

First Realisation of Feelings

The 7th grade school dance, where the room is cramped and hot, full of hormonal preteens to early teenagers. Not exactly the place Jisung expected to see you. You had often expressed your dislike for the majority of the grade and you never liked being in overcrowded places, the perfect word to describe the gymnasium that was decorated for the occasion. Yet here you were, standing in the corner, hands behind your back, looking down at your shoes and playing with the hem of your dress. Jisung quickly ditched the conversation he was having with Sungchan and Chenle and made a b-line towards you. You were glad he saw you. You didn’t want to be here, only here by force from both your friends and your parents, your parents saying that you should socialise more outside of school hours and your friends saying it would be fun. However, your friends had made a b-line to the boys they liked from the grade, leaving you to stand there awkwardly until you could no longer stand watching your friend drooling over quite arguably the biggest jerk in the grade. As for your parents’ word, the only thing you could think to tell them is ‘why socialise when I’m most comfortable around the clumsiest boy in the class?’

“Hi,” Jisung said, the same awkward smile on his lips.

“Hi,” You replied. You didn’t need to be a psychic to know that Jisung wasn’t exactly here on his own terms, most likely only here for Chenle (who you had since reconciled with after the incident in first grade) 

“You told me you weren’t coming,” He pointed out, trying to get rid of the slight awkwardness in the air. Why was it so awkward? It wasn’t normally like this.

“I wasn’t until I was made to by my friends and my parents,” You explained, shooting a glance to your friends, who were practically at each of their respective male attention giver’s beck and call. Why were they your friends again? “Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?” You brought attention to the sudden rise in the temperature, fanning your neck as you looked around for a possible air source, more so, a possible way out. Jisung nodded. He didn’t feel hot, but the gymnasium was cramped, and there were a lot of warm bodies inside of it, so he didn’t blame you. 

“Yeah, let’s go outside. The breeze is really nice out there.” 

After checking that the coast was clear of any members of faculty that might force you and Jisung to go back inside the gym, you ran to the gardens, a place that was quite pretty. Right next to the school flowed a river, which connected to the parent pick up area, accessible by bridge. You and Jisung stood side by side, watching your reflections ripple with the current of the water. The moonlight danced prettily with the water, creating a type of reflection that Jisung had only ever seen in movies. The cool summer breeze brushed against his skin, diminishing the sweat on his forehead. 

Then he looked at you. 

Your hair was lifted off your shoulders by the wind, the moon casting a silvery shadow across your face, fitting neatly across your facial features like a glove, but his breaking point was when you looked at him. It was as if someone had taken all of the stars in the galaxy and placed them one by one in your eyes. You looked so...beautiful. His heart rate increased dramatically and he was sure there was an intense blush that spread from his cheeks to his ears. Did he always feel like this when he saw you? Surely not. His heart had never raced like this before, and he definitely had never felt so speechless. What could this all mean? Could he...like you? “Hello? Earth to Park Jisung?” Your voice cleared the clouds of doubt from his mind as he finally closed his gaping mouth. “Are you okay? Do I need to tell a teacher?” You asked, a slight furrow in your brow appearing out of concern.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine. Just spaced out for a second.” He looked away in embarrassment, his eyes drifting over his reflection. Oh God, he was blushing. “The view was pretty and I guess started daydreaming.” 

“Were you daydreaming about someone?” You asked simply, before a smile broke across your face. “Were you daydreaming about me?” Jisung almost choked on his spit at your words.

“Was not!” Your laughter only picked up in volume, Jisung having to shush you and remind you that you were not supposed to leave the gym. 

“I’m only teasing you, I know you wouldn’t daydream about people. You just like to think about video games and food.”

“Hey, I do not! What’s with the Jisung slander?” You laughed. Something about your laugh was addicting, like a song he had just discovered and was unable to stop the lyrics from playing in your head. 

It’s been three weeks since the dance and you and Jisung were in the library, studying. Well, if you were to classify copying your science homework as homework because he had completely forgotten about it. You were currently working on your analysis for your Literature class, reading over the assessment outline to make sure you could get the best grade possible. You looked over and Jisung and he looked so relaxed. His round glasses perched comfortably on the bridge of his nose, his eyes scanning your answers before jotting them down onto his own page, his fingers wrapped firmly around his pen, and his lips pushed into a little pout as he concentrated. He looked so laid back, so relaxed despite the fact he had nearly had a heart attack when you told him that the homework was due by your next class, which didn’t give him enough time to do it at home. With your thoughts swimming through your head and so far into your daydream, you hadn’t noticed that his head had picked up and you were now staring (quite awkwardly) at each other.

“Is there something on my face?” Jisung asked, trying desperately to break the awkwardness between you two. You shook your head rapidly, assuring him that his appearance was fine and you had just spaced out. Well, you hadn’t completely lied. His appearance did look fine, and you had spaced out, you had just decided to leave out the reasoning as to why you had spaced out. 

Your cheeks burned harshly, like you were sitting in direct sunlight at the beach without any sunscreen. Is this what a developing crush felt like? Surely not. There’s no way you could have a crush on your best friend. That was weird, according to your friends, but then again, these were the same friends that said that you and Jisung were perfect for each other, so you don’t think they are a very credible source. 

Was this how crushes develop? Yes. Yes it was 

First Confession

Sophomore year of high school. People are calming down from exam week, finally getting the recommended hours of sleep after the countless number of all nighters that were pulled to cram, drinking water instead of the copious amounts of caffeine. The autumn air was starting to set in and the leaves were starting to fall, catching the wind and creating a train for oranges and browns. You and Jisung were walking home from school, your head pounding after the amount of brain power wasted on several test packages that weighed too heavily on your overall grade in your opinion. 

“How about we go get ice cream and go to the park? My treat to the both of us working so hard?” You suggested, turning to the equally emotionally drained best friend beside you. At the mention of a delicious sweet treat, his head perked up and he nodded.

“Yes! Anything to stop my head from hurting,” His lips formed the most relieved smile, your pulse increasing at the sight. In an attempt to calm your racing heartbeat, you watched the leaves, long fallen from the huge oak trees that towered over you, crunch underneath your feet, a little bit of stress releasing each time you stepped in them. Jisung seemed to pick up on this, his smile taking on a playfully mischievous role. He raced ahead of you and jumped, his feet landing firmly in a pile of leaves. The dead leaves flew up around him, creating a skirt of sorts around his waist. You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing, a stupidly large smile shared between the two of you. 

“Come on, let’s get this ice cream before the store closes. We’ll never get there if you keep acting like you’ve never seen leaves before,” You rolled your eyes, continuing down the path, your back now facing Jisung. He jogged to your side, bumping your hip with his when he did.

“You don’t know that.”

“We have literally been friends since we were 5, I think I would know,” Jisung cursed inwardly after taking a second to process what you had said. 

“T-That’s not fair and I- hey! Hey! Wait up!” 

Walking down a simple path in the park, the bumpy texture of the wafer cone in your hand, and the occasional playful cheers of children and dog passing by was simply relaxing. The simplicity of the noises of everyday life, the perfect natural remedy for an exam induced headache. 

You and Jisung came across a beautiful area that overlooked the huge lake in the middle of the park, a popular skating attraction during the winter. There were a few ducks waddling around the water’s edge, a few gliding gracefully along the water and few attempting to ruin a couple’s picnic by stealing their sandwiches. As you sat down on the ground, the crisp breeze whipped lightly across your face, you were relaxed, almost completely forgetting about the exams you had taken only hours earlier. 

Jisung was staring at you, he was sure of it. In fact, he’s pretty sure that the elderly couple sitting metres away from the both of you would see it. He followed your gaze when your eyes fell on the most adorable mother duck, being followed by her clumsy ducklings. You liked the one at the back the most, always the most clumsy. You turned to Jisung, a teasing smirk dripping from your lips.

“You see the one at the end?” You pointed to the duckling, whose little webbed foot had caught on a twig, sending it rolling onto its side. Jisung nodded. “That would be you as a duck. The overly clumsy baby of the family,” Jisung’s eyes widened in slight offense at your comment.

“What do you mean? I’m not clumsy!” He tried to defend himself, only gaining a snort from you.

“Right, and I’m the Queen of England,” You said sarcastically, looking back towards the ducks. Between the time you had turned away to tease Jisung and right now, another duck had come back in search of it’s sibling. The duckling looked curiously at the fallen duck, before turning its head and let out high pitched quacks to its mother and signalling her to come back. Jisung watched as the mother duck picked the duckling up by the scruff of the neck and put it back on its feet. 

“And if you were a duck, that would be you. Always looking out for the clumsy one,” He commented, watching the family waddle off to a different area of the park. Taking another spoonful of his ice cream (you refused to let him get a cone. With how accident-prone he was, there was only fate for that poor ice cream cone, and it involved Jisung dropping ice cream down his crisp white shirt) before sighing. 

“Ducks are cute like you too,” He thought out loud, forgetting that the you in question was sitting right next to him. 

“Did you say something?” You asked.

“I-I said ducks are cute, and then I stopped talking!” Real smooth, Park. 

“Right…” You said, knowing damn well that isn’t what he said, but you didn’t wish to press further. “My legs are asleep, let’s walk a little more.” You suggested, almost leaping from your spot on the ground. Jisung scrambled to stand up too, his ice cream almost slipping through his fingers. 

You walked for what felt like miles, talking about everything under the sun. You hadn’t realised how far you had walked until you were facing the street, with the name of your street written in printed letters on the sign. 

“Guess my legs knew it was getting late before I did. I should probably get home before my mom yells at me. See you at school tomorrow, right?” Before you could walk away, you felt a hand on your wrist. Jisung’s hand. 

“Wait, I need to tell you something,” Jisung’s voice sounded desperate, like if he didn;t say this now, it would kill him. 

“What? Did you leave your jacket at the park again?” You tried to joke, but Jisung’s eyes just pleaded with you.

“Please just listen,” Jisung said, his tone coming out a lot sterner than he had meant to. He exhaled deeply before placing both of his hands in yours, his head swimming with thoughts. 

“I like you.” His eyes, his tone, the slight smile on his lips. They all were dripping with sincerity. 

“What-” 

“I like you. I don’t expect you to accept my feelings but I just really needed to get this off my chest because I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while and-”

“I like you too,” You interjected with a smile, squeezing Jisung’s hand.

“Y-You do?” He repeated your words in his head like a broken record, watching as you gave him a confident nod. 

“Yes. Now, can I go home now?” Jisung flustered himself and nodded, letting go of your hand and waving as you disappeared down your street. His cheeks were glowing red, surely resembling a firefly. You liked him too? He felt like a giddy schoolboy, a smile plastered on his face. This was quite possibly the best day of his life.

First Date

“No, no. Absolutely not, I refuse,” Jisung screeched as you swung into an empty parking space in the car park of the ice skating rink. You giggled evilly to yourself. 

“You said I get to pick the location of our date, and I choose the ice rink,” You reminded him smugly, giving him a sickly sweet smile. You sunk down in his seat, grumbling unheard profanities as he knew you were right. He had given you the power to choose where you two would have a date together, a power he was now regretting giving you. 

“Lighten up, will you? One ice skating session isn’t going to kill you,” You rolled your eyes, making your way towards the entrance to the building. 

“I seriously doubt it,” He grumbled, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

There weren’t many others on the rink, some small children with their parents, the odd couple or two, but it was quiet. Well, quiet customer wise.

“Don’t let go of me! I’m too young to die!” Jisung squeaked, your arm wrapped in a death grip from the boy.

“Jisung, you’re not gonna die, not on my watch,” You assured him, helping him up as his knees shook like a newborn giraffe. You were able to shake the grip he had on your arm and hold both of his hands before skating backwards very slowly. “You trust me, right?” “More than anything,” He affirmed. You smiled and tugged him along, giving him perfect momentum to stay on his two feet. You swung yourself around so you were now skating besides him, intertwining your fingers together like puzzle pieces. Gliding together, you felt like you were skating in the middle of a snowy escape, a winter wonderland. You felt as if you were skating with the Snow Kingdom’s prince (except if the Snow Prince didn’t know how to skate) and the snow was falling gently around you delicately. 

This fantasy ended when your hand was jerked backwards. Your skates hit an oddly slipping part of the ice, causing you to slip over and fall promptly on the ground, finding yourself face to face with the culprit, your clumsy boyfriend. 

“Heh, sorry,” He apologised, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. You couldn’t find it in yourself to feel any kind of unamused emotion towards the boy, only bursting into a fit of giggles. 

“You’re too darn cute,” you admitted, knees knocking as you got back onto your feet. You extended your hand, offering it to Jisung as assistance to get him back on his feet. 

“Do you wanna try again?” It was more of a suggestion than a question, but you still hesitated, afraid of him saying no.

“What are my chances of getting a concussion?” The boy joked, a bright and gummy smile breaking across his face. You stifled a laugh.

“Pretty high when you assess the situation,” You answered in an amused tone. Jisung suddenly pulled you closer and placed his hands on your cheeks. His slender fingers were freezing cold against the rosy tint of your cheeks, but you didn’t seem to mind all that much. You could see him having an inner battle with himself before grinning in victory. He leaned closer to you, placing a peck to the numbed tip of your nose. Your heart fluttered like it had been caught up in a whirlwind of butterfly wings, delicately carrying them to a higher level than before. You swore you were giving Jisung really obvious heart eyes, but from the way he was looking at you, the exchange must’ve been mutual. 

Jisung finally pulled himself together, slow realisation sinking in of what he had just done. “S-Sorry,” he apologised softly, his fingers slipping away from your cheek. You caught it, bringing it down to the height of your shoulder and intertwining your fingers with his. 

“Don’t be,” you said cooly, cautiously skating towards the exit to the rink. “I’m starving. Let’s go find lunch. You can pick this time,” you smiled cheerily at him. He snuck a glance to you as he untied the laces of his ice skates. There was something about your smile that was so enchanting, sort of subtle, and perfect, and real. He couldn’t help but wonder if you even knew how wonderful your smile could make someone feel. Especially a someone like Jisung, someone who would find elegance and serenity in the tiniest things you do. He cursed his heart for fluttering stupidly fast, not that it heeded his thoughts, only beating harder the more he stared at you.

“Let’s go,” You announced, extending your hand to him. He grabbed it without a second thought. This felt like home to him, with someone who meant the world to him.

First Kiss

“Jisung, this is crazy! My parents will find out about this!” You whisper-yelled at Jisung, reluctantly throwing on your coat and shoes. Jisung smiled like a fool, feeling like a modern day Romeo as he waited on your front porch. You threw the front door open, seeing your boyfriend, absolutely drenched from head to toe with rain. The rain had been falling heavily for half an hour, so you couldn’t help but wonder what inside his mind decided that he would walk to your neighbourhood in the pouring rain just to see you?

“Jisung, it’s two in the morning. Why are you here?” You interrogated once you shut the door.

“I wanted to see you. Is that such a crime?” He countered, a sly smile resting on his pretty lips. You scoffed, playfully pushing him away. Jisung took a few paces back, extending his long fingers to you.

“Huh?” You vocalised your confusion.

“Come dance with me,” He said, waiting patiently. You hesitated for a moment. You feared the fact that your parents would definitely ground you if they found out that you were escapading at ridiculous hours of the night just to be with a boy, but on the other hand, this was Jisung you were talking about. The night, or morning if you were to be technical, wasn’t getting any younger and nor were you. In that moment, you didn’t care if your parents found out about your late night adventures. You grabbed Jisung’s hand and smiled.

“Show me to the dance floor,” You announced confidently.

To the rest of the world, the two of you probably looked like idiots. Running and shoving each other in the rain, willingly. However to the both of you, you were the only two people in the world. The only light to remind that the world was still there were the dim streetlights, illuminating only within its reach before fading back into darkness.

You danced under the streetlamp, your very own spotlight. You risked the chances of a cold, for the feeling of freedom, to be two dumb kids, fooling around at forsaken hours of the night. You had a smile to your ears and your laughter rang out loudly throughout the slumbering neighbourhood. You squealed when he pulled you closer to him by your hips. Your hands instinctively rested on his shoulders, eyes focusing on him, the water droplets that fell from his soaking wet hair and the goofy smile on his lips.

The laughter that the two of you died down, both of you completely infatuated by the other. How pretty they looked with raindrops kissing their skin, how their eyes sparkled when the light hit them at this angle. Jisung bit the inside of his cheek in hesitation. What if he was reading the signs wrong? What if you didn’t want to? He cautiously leaned forward, and you followed suit. Your lips met briefly before Jisung pulled away, scanning your face for any sign of discomfort or disgust. Instead, he was met with your eyes sparkling brightly, a huge smile breaking across your face. 

“You kissed me,” You said, slightly astonished at Jisung’s bravery.

“Yeah, I did,” He mumbled, trying to come to terms with the event that just played out in front of him.

“Do it again,” You egged.

“Excuse me?” His eyes blew wide at your comment.

“Kiss me again.”

To the rest of the world, the two of you probably looked like idiots. However to the both of you, you were the only two people in the world. The only two people in your world. 

First Time Falling in Love

The stars twinkled brightly in the dark sky above, like silver glitter that had been thrown into the depths of space. You admired the stars, wishing you could fly up there for a second just to dance among them. It was your calming activity before bed, talking to the stars about your day, especially if it wasn’t particularly a good day. The best part about today however, was that you weren’t gazing up into space in your bedroom, instead lying in the grass with the cool breeze on top of a hill that overlooked the city lights, and you weren’t gazing up into space alone, instead in company of your boyfriend, Jisung.

The two of you had spent the last hour and a half stargazing, talking about everything and anything, the big things like school systems, and the little things like the ladybird that had crawled it’s way up a blade of grass before taking flight above you. You were sleepy and ready to go home. You and Jisung were standing, facing each other, giving the sky one more quick glance before you left. When your vision came back down, you met Jisung’s eyes. They were pretty, a dark chocolate brown, the type of brown that when light hits them at just the right angle, they turn into pools of honey. They were entrancing, glittering, beautiful. It seems like he was just as entranced by your gaze as you were his, as the both of you stood in silence. Finally, Jisung mustered up enough courage like the day he asked you out, and cupped your face. His hands pressed flush against your cheeks, feeling the warmth from your blush underneath them. His lips parted and closed again, like he was trying to tell you something but was second guessing himself.

“I think,” Jisung started, trying to collect his thoughts before speaking. “I think I’m in love with you.”

“I’m glad I’m not the only one,” You laughed softly, your eyes flickering from his eyes down to his lips, so full and kissable. Without a second to think, he pulled you closer, pressing a soft kiss against your lips, a kiss full of sweetness and amateur love, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

The two of you broke away and smiled. “Shall we go home now?” You asked with lovestruck eyes. He noticed. He smiled.

“Yes, we better,”

You were maybe just a little bit in love with Park Jisung.

First Argument

You can only recount one argument with Jisung. 

You sat there at the cafe, looking around nervously for him. The constant checks of your phone and the cafe door every time the bell rang to signify a new customer, you silently hoped it wasn’t true. He wouldn’t do this to you. You refused to believe it. There was no way, right? There was no way Park Jisung had forgotten your date, right?

Wrong.

“Jeno, has anyone ever told you, you suck at MarioKart?” Chenle asked teasingly, pillow colliding with his head, which caused Toad to fly off the edge of the course. Jisung laughed hysterically, tears forming in his eyes as he drove Yoshi to victory. Amongst the commotion going on inside, the doorbell rang. Renjun, who was not participating in his friends’ antics, decided to answer it. Upon seeing you, he was a bit shocked to see you there. You barely showed up there, so to see you standing outside the door, with your coat folded between your arms and a displeased look on your face, took him by surprise.

“Jisung, it’s for you,” Renjun called into the door, abandoning you at the threshold to take over Jisung’s controller. 

When your boyfriend saw you, he smiled with a twinkle of confusion in his eye.

“Hey, what are you doing here? We were just playing MarioKart if you-”

“You forgot, didn’t you?” You interrupted bitterly, boring holes in his soul from your gaze alone. Jisung looked at you for a second, trying to comprehend the words that had left your lips moments ago. 

“Is it your birthday?” Jisung asked stupidly. Anger flashed in your eyes before you grabbed him by the shoulder of his t-shirt and tugged him out of the dorm. With the door now acting as a barrier between the argument and the fun his friends were having, you could now speak freely.

“3pm, Culture Cafe. Does this mean anything to you?” You interrogated, your tone bitter and upset, a lethal combination. Jisung’s eyebrows furrowed in thought, wracking his brains to try and make connections between the two. 

“Our date, Jisung! Our fucking date!” You yelled at him, growing bored of watching him try and remember. “We planned this three days ago, how can you not remember?” Your voice softened in disbelief. “It was just this one thing, but instead I come here and find you playing video games with your friends.” The more you spoke, the more tears blurred your vision. 

Jisung swore he heard his heart break when he saw a fat tear roll down your cheek. He had caused those tears, over just how forgetful he really is.

“If there was a more sincere way of saying sorry, I would say it. I can’t think of the words to-” Jisung was cut off by your sobs. He immediately panicked, grasping your shoulders, feeling like a kicked puppy. “No, no, no, baby don’t cry. I promise I’ll-”

“I can’t be here any longer. Just give me a few days,” you used those words as your salutations of farewell, turning on your heel and walking away from him. You silently screamed at yourself for getting so upset over a stupid date, but this wasn’t like Jisung. He was so adamant about not forgetting the important things, so why would he forget this? 

It had been five days since the confrontation with Jisung, and you had not spoken to him since. You left him on read with every text message, and deleted every voicemail he left you. You acknowledged you may be acting a bit brashly, but you wanted him to feel the same forgotten feeling that sat in the bottom of your stomach when he left alone at that cafe. 

You wanted Jisung to apologise. You just didn’t expect him to apologise the way he did.

Your doorbell rang repetitively, clearly trying to divide your attention from your comfort show. You reluctantly stood up from your comfy spot on the couch, and walked towards the door. Upon opening it, you saw a boy with dark dishevelled hair with a cake in hand. The cake was messily decorated and seemed a bit squashed, but you could still tell it was supposed to be a heart shape. 

“Is this your way of apologising?” You asked him monotonously, your eyes still on the cake. Jisung nodded. His eyes seemed puffy.

“I don’t mean to ruin the apology, but why does the cake look a bit…”

“Squished?” Jisung finished, a sad smile playing at his lips. “Chenle, the stupid ass, sat on the box before I left. All my hard work, now flattened,” He gave a half hearted chuckle before silencing himself.

“Look, I am really, really sorry. I was stressing, and the boys thought it would be a good idea if I spent time out of my room and play some games with them to stop moping around, and I didn’t realise how fast the time went and I forgot about our date and then I felt horrible and I-” He rambled on, an embarrassed blush colouring his cheeks and the tips of his ears. He stopped when he heard you giggle, a soft, almost whimsical sound. You took the cake box from him and smiled. 

“You put all of this work in, just for an apology?” You asked, a soft smile subconsciously creeping across your face. 

“You weren’t answering your phone, so I got desperate,” Jisung admitted, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck at your reaction. You stepped forward to kiss his cheek, his skin warm against your lips. 

“So, am I forgiven?” He asked nervously, feeling cold sweat dribble down the back of his neck. 

“Depends. Are you gonna share this cake with me?” You countered, stepping aside to invite him in. 

“Who did you bribe to allow you in the kitchen by yourself?”

“Hey!”

First Dance

“Hurry up, we’re going to miss the sunset,” Jisung tugged you up the hill, sunlight casting over his face the higher he hiked up the mountain. You let out a tired laugh as you allowed him to drag you up the mountain. Once you reached the top, you finally understood why he wanted to show you this place. The view was spectacular. The sunset gave the landscape an orange hue to it, even the ocean sparkled like magnificent glitter. The orange specks glowed like millions of fireflies, creating a picture perfect landscape, one that belonged within the walls of a world famous museum. 

“This is stunning,” You sighed in awe, the dusk lighting flicking its rays into your irises. Jisung nodded firmly, pride bubbling in his chest at knowing he picked the perfect place.

“Baby?” He asked, hiding his shyness as best he could.

“Yeah?” You answered, eyes breaking away from the beautiful atmosphere to him. He held his hand out, suggesting something.

“Dance with me?” He asked politely, a pink tint colouring the tips of his ears. You giggled lightly.

“Dancing is meaningless without music,” You informed, warm breeze whipping past the exposed parts of your skin. Jisung whipped out his phone, briefly tapped on the screen and waited before a soft and calming song played from the speakers. He slipped it into his back pocket, quickly taking your left hand in his right, his left hand coming down to rest on your waist and steadily rocking you to the melody. Your head rested against his chest, inhaling his warm scent. He smelt of fresh cotton sheets and something else that can only be described as the sweetest fruit of the summer. 

The moment felt like a scene out of a fairytale, a nonsensical world that only manifested in the creative young minds of children, however the way the gentle breeze kissed your cheek and ruffled your hair, the last of the sun’s rays pressed a warm glow to your skin, it felt too real to be make believe. 

Jisung twirled you around on the spot, a giggle escaping your lips as you fell gracefully against his chest. As you spun around to face him again, the look in his eyes could only be truly explained with one word; ‘Lovestruck’, like his whole world revolved around you. You were his moon, his stars, his world. You might as well have been his whole solar system, dammit. He pressed a soft chaste kiss your lips, pulling away and leaving only centimeters between the both of you.

“I love you,” Jisung’s face lit up like the fireflies that played in the valley beneath you. You cracked a giddy smile, lacing your fingers with him.

“I love you too,” You requited, realising that the song you were originally dancing to had faded out some time ago, only dancing along to the beat of each other’s heart. He laughed at this discovery, holding you closer and hearing the faint drum of your thumping heart. He hummed to himself as thoughts of you swam through his head, but only one stuck out to him. It was less of a thought and more like an idea, a wish, a dream, a promise.

You are my first love, and I intend for you to be my last

[wolvesandpetals]

Loki x Sylvie Songfic: Tonight my dear, the end of time. For Sylki week: Day 2: Song lyrics. @sylkiweek

Song: End of time by Lacuna Coil.

(Masterlist of my Sylki fanfiction can be found here.)

---

"You've built your life above the sin. You hold my hand before the end comes, Forgiving me, For what I've done 'till the end of days."

[[MORE]]

It's the end of the world. Or the end of this world, at least. He has left them stranded at this dying planet through a series of unfortunate accidents that could have been avoided if only he had been more careful.

Perhaps this is what he deserves for all the evil he has ever committed- the slaughter of innocents, some by his own hands, the destruction of New York- and everything he, or the version of him in the Sacred Timeline TM, is yet to do- including the events that lead to the death of his own mother.

Yes, this is a just punishment for his crimes, indeed.

There is a loud boom in the background that pulls him out of his contemplation and into the harsh present. Debris are falling across the purple sky, like leaves in autumn that have lost their right to leave. They fall into the ground in the distance, shattering houses and barren lands alike, and in the lake in front of them that has stilled, as if in terror. Sylvie sits motionless, the reflection of the death and destruction in her iris scaled down to a ridiculously miniscule size, as if it is insignificant.

She looks at him and offers him a tiny smile, and it is indeed insignificant, everything around them. The look in her eyes says something soft, something warm, like she sees him for who he is, like she sees his sharp edges and knows those are not the edges of a blade forged to kill, but that of a broken glass- beautiful in its entirety, but cruelly drawing out the blood of those who dare to break it.

If he believed in earthly religions, he would say the look in her eyes was like a message from Heaven, declaring the forgiveness of his sin, granted in his last moments.

She gently touches his arm.

---

"'Cause I belong to you, 'Cause I am part of you. I am dying in your arms. It's time to go, I can make it through"

He looks down at where her skin meets his. It's a simple, innocent touch, yet it speaks entire libraries worth of words in a language that he has never known before

She is very similar to him, but not an exact replica, like how a mirror flips one's silhouette and every single feature. She is similar enough for him to know what she feels, yet differs in her thoughts and actions.

Her grip grows tighter, and she reaches for his hand. She decides to fight, to change the fate of Lamentis-1, to use every bit of the magic in her to deflect the pieces of the moon, force in into a new trajectory, forge a new path for it. She intertwines their fingers until they are one, and the timelines that were forcefully bound into one start branching out again.

---

"I've come to realise, Tonight my dear The end of time Is not so far away. We cannot pray To save our lives"

They are Lokis. They survive. Even when they have no aces up their sleeves, they find the opportunity to steal one from the hands of the enemy. They are not giving up.

But in the silence of the elevator, the aura of defeat is prominent. They steal glances at each other, committing it to memory, so when the time comes to draw the last breath, it is not wasted on hatred.

There's a clenching in her stomach she cannot quite explain. It's different from her first time in his wretched prison. The fear and hatred is constant, but it is mixed with something that tastes like the salty teardrops shed during a farewell.

The collars on their necks are tight, the shackles on their hands without a key. The urge to pull a Houdini is strong, and they keep the hope that they might find a worthy assistant yet.

The door opens, revealing the path to the timekeepers, to the end of the road for them.

---

"I can feel you And I think that Everything you wanted in me Was the mirror of your dreams. But I couldn't believe what you'd say."

It has all been a lie. There never were any Timekeepers. She has done what she had set out to do, and all she has to show for is are the disembodied heads of the androids at her feet.

She doesn't know where to go from here.

He is standing in front of her, with his hands on her shoulders, his eyes on hers, his breathing uneven, leaving her heart dancing like an unruly tornado in her ribcage, making debris out of the walls she has built over the centuries.

She understands, at least a part of it. She feels it surging through her bloodstream too.

This is new for her as well, and dread accompanies the hope. Uncertain of what he would say, she stares at him, as the pruning stick finds its way into his core, and he starts fading right in front of her.

---

"As I belong to you, My flesh and blood in you. I am burning in this fire. It's time to go, I can't make it through"

She understands it fully now. While the timelines found a way to split into two, giving rise to two Lokis, they also found a way to tangle them together with this bond between them, unite them into one.

She has one good memory- the memory of him serenading her on the doomed train in Lamentis-1. When she sings, she sings "Come home".

Neither of them have a world they can call home anymore, or a place in the timelines. But her mother always told her "Home is where the heart is", and she finally knows where their hearts are.

She is going to bring him home.

Sylvie prunes herself.

---

"I'm coming home again And now I know where I belong. Reeling from my instincts 'Cause I realize I'm not alone"

She has lived in apocalypses, watched people go on with their lives unaware of the danger that would soon befall them, watched them cower together in fear as they pray for a miracle, and watched them fight each other in the vain hope of finding a safe passage out of death's jaws.

This world has no such sight.

This world is empty, dead, cold. She is all alone as far as her eyes allow her to see, the sense of loneliness amplified by the lack of her variant by her side. Something roars in the distance, something purple and dangerous and grander than she is. This is its home, its hunting ground, and she is his prey.

So is he.

She is determined to find him, to save him, to make sure neither of them is alone anymore.

---

"I've come to realise, Tonight my dear The end of time Is not so far away. We cannot pray To save our lives"

She pulls the flimsy green blanket closer, like it can shield her from the dangers around. She used to camp out in Roxxcart with stolen electronic devices and watch movies from various eras. She has seen many scenes where the hero and the heroine have a little picnic in a garden, lying on a blanket under the blue skies, feasting on delicacies.

The sky is far from blue, the patch of grass barely resembles a garden, the blanket thin, and the lack of food apparent by the growing pang of hunger in her stomach.

But the feeling in her chest is the one she imagines the heroine experiences when her hero presents her with a flower as a token of his affection.

Flowers wither and die. She has never adorned her hair with floral crowns, choosing metals instead. She prefers things which are strong, lasting.

She prefers everything he is. She prefers the daggers he conjures for her, to be used in this upcoming battle.

They are at the end of time, having run out of it. She is determined to protect him at all costs, but there's a high probability that one or both of them may not make it out of this alive.

Yet, as the end approaches, all she can think of is the possibility of a new beginning.

---

"I've come to realise, Tonight my friend The end of time It's not so far away. We cannot pray To save our lives"

The purple cloud turns green. Alioth the devourer is tamed, their magical collar wrapped tightly around its neck.

The cloud parts, making the citadel visible.

This is it. They are about to confront The one at the end of time, the puppet master.

Loki's grip on Sylvie's hand tightens.

It's time to cut the strings.

[sanstropfremir]

ok this took way longer than i expected because i got sidetracked looking at paintings and reading poetry and just admiring the mv, but it's finally finished!! let's talk about

higher

✨

i'm going to draw your attention to a few things.

firstly, these verses from rime of the ancient mariner by samuel taylor coleridge, published 1834:

The harbour-bay was clear as glass,

So smoothly it was strewn!

And on the bay the moonlight lay,

And the shadow of the Moon.

The rock shone bright, the kirk no less,

That stands above the rock:

The moonlight steeped in silentness

The steady weathercock.

And the bay was white with silent light,

Till rising from the same,

Full many shapes, that shadows were,

In crimson colours came.

A little distance from the prow

Those crimson shadows were:

I turned my eyes upon the deck—

Oh, Christ! what saw I there!

Each corse lay flat, lifeless and flat,

And, by the holy rood!

A man all light, a seraph-man,

On every corse there stood.

This seraph-band, each waved his hand:

It was a heavenly sight!

They stood as signals to the land,

Each one a lovely light;

This seraph-band, each waved his hand,

No voice did they impart—

No voice; but oh! the silence sank

Like music on my heart.

secondly, this ivan aivazovsky painting, chaos (the creation), c. 1841:

and thirdly, the memorial of percy shelley, who drowned in a boating accident at age 29, in 1822:

there's a common conflation between the romantic and the pastoral in the general cultural consensus because the pastoral a) has been around as an art term longer than romantic, and b) romanticism does use some similar imagery. but there is a key difference: the pastoral is specfically an idealization of 'the simple shepherding life,' often for high class and urban audiences who have no conception of the details of this life includes. one of the more famous examples is christopher marlowe's a passionate shepherd to his love, published in 1599:

Come live with me and be my love,

And we will all the pleasures prove,

That Valleys, groves, hills, and fields,

Woods, or steepy mountain yields.

And we will sit upon the Rocks,

Seeing the Shepherds feed their flocks,

By shallow Rivers to whose falls

Melodious birds sing Madrigals.

And I will make thee beds of Roses

And a thousand fragrant posies,

A cap of flowers, and a kirtle

Embroidered all with leaves of Myrtle;

A gown made of the finest wool

Which from our pretty Lambs we pull;

Fair lined slippers for the cold,

With buckles of the purest gold;

A belt of straw and Ivy buds,

With Coral clasps and Amber studs:

And if these pleasures may thee move,

Come live with me, and be my love.

The Shepherds’ Swains shall dance and sing

For thy delight each May-morning:

If these delights thy mind may move,

Then live with me, and be my love.

whereas romanticism is a more pointedly specific movement that was active from around 1800 to 1850, primarily focused on intense emotion and catharsis as the primary experiential output of an artwork. which most prominently manifested in a deep fascination and glorification of the natural environment and historical nostalgia. the movement sprung from the german sturm und drang (literally storm and drive/stress) period of the late 1760s to early 1780s, which was a direct reaction to rationalism and enlightenment. romanticism had similar impulses; it was also a revival of medievalism and a reaction against the looming urban sprawl and mechanization of the industrial revolution. a typical romantic poem from one of the originators of the english movment william wordsworth, composed upon westminster bridge, september 3, 1802, originally published 1807:

Earth has not any thing to show more fair:

Dull would he be of soul who could pass by

A sight so touching in its majesty:

This City now doth, like a garment, wear

The beauty of the morning; silent, bare,

Ships, towers, domes, theatres, and temples lie

Open unto the fields, and to the sky;

All bright and glittering in the smokeless air.

Never did sun more beautifully steep

In his first splendour, valley, rock, or hill;

Ne'er saw I, never felt, a calm so deep!

The river glideth at his own sweet will:

Dear God! the very houses seem asleep;

And all that mighty heart is lying still!

this romantic fascination with nature was underpinned by the philosophy of the sublime, generally agreed to be first treatised by edmund burke in 1756, the theory was also written about by kant and hegel. in the simplest of terms, the sublime is a quality of greatness beyond calculation, imitation, and human comprehension. the sublime is twofold; the greatness of the ocean is beautiful, but its power is also terrifying, and the experience of the sublime is to feel those two at once. to be in awe and also to be horrified of its ability to sink ships and drown a life in a tempermental change of tide.

let's take a quick detour to talk about

clothing

in the present day we have become much more lax thanks to the aesthetic movement in the late nineteenth century, but back in the early victorian period there are still highly structured rules about when and what clothing one can wear in public. and the clothing itself is also highly structured. anyone with a passing understanding of the victorian era knows about the whole flashing of the ankle thing and corsets galore, and it is true that the general day to day garments cover a lot of area. for men in particular, this manifests in no less than three layers in public at all times: shirt, waistcoat, and suit jacket, with a coat or mantle overtop in colder temperatures. this also includes a variation of a neck tie (depending on what year), hat, gloves, and any other decided upon accessories (this can also include a corset and other padded structural underpinnings). an important tangent to mention here is that this is the uniform of the upper classes, although the rules do apply to the lower classes if they wanted to appear 'sophisticated.' the working man's uniform was also shirt, waistcoat, trousers, but the difference here is in the textiles themselves; the colours tended to be much more drab, with less complicated patterns. obviously due to the price fabric itself, but also due to the labour of laundry. an indicator of class here is the white shirt itself and its pristine implications. (there is a longer conversation here about the invention of neckties and detachable collars and cuffs, but that's for another day). the silhouettes are very important to note here in the higher mv, as they are directly referential to the 'romantic poet' archetype of loose shirt and tight pants that we see in popular culture. but as i've just said, the reality is that men of the era were not dressed like this out in public. this look is essentially underwear; the implications are salacious. so where did this come from? well, we can blame it mostly on lord byron, who by all accounts was the first western 'rockstar.' notoriously called 'mad, bad and dangerous to know' by lady caroline lamb (a married women he publically had an affair with), byron was openly bisexual and deeply hedonistic with a lot of questionable habits, but his poetry was so popular that he was known to have women following him in the street and gathering in large quanities to see him at salons. and this was close to three decades before lizstomania. his close friends and contemporaries included percy and mary shelley, with whom he lived with abroad in italy for some time (this living arrangement resulted in the writing of both frankenstein and john polidori's the vampyre). byron's reputation was so eclipsing that the image of the lush poet lazing in his undergarments has become its own genre of romantic, slightly removed from the movement byron was writing in. it's also worth it to point out that there are no official portraits of byron dressed like this from the time. the visual assumption is somewhat apochryphal. now let's get into some specifics. a.c.e is not unfamiliar to this silhouette; as previously mentioned in this post i wrote about their styling, the boxy loose upper and fitted lower is their general mode for their styling because of its emphasis on legs. cactus was the most extreme example of this, and to prove my point, this specific silhouette is extremely common in classical ballet:

1. vaslav nijinsky, giselle, 1911 2. nehemiah kish, george balanchine's ballo della regina, 2011/12

higher fits very neatly into this same category: we have an emphasis on the legs through tightly fitted garments and also through light reflective textile, as well as a secondary emphasis on arm and shoulder movements with looser fit shirts. plus, the shirts are made from fabrics that have good drape and flow, and mimic the visual effects of water:

there are also several instances of scale patterning and wetlook hair styles, further elabourating on the siren theme. and the jewelry is the same, purposefully cut clear stones for oceanic sparkle or pearls, the gem directly born from water, as highlighting accents to specific parts of the body - namely eyes, hands, and torso:

the body jewelry also serves a double purpose in addition to being sparkly; it gives a semblance of shape to their torsos so their movements aren't totally lost in the shroud of their shirts, and it also invokes some of that salacious element that us as a modern audience doesn't necessarily perceive in the same way when we see a man wearing only a shirt. all of these points are especially prominent in the stage costuming. concerning the veils, these are an aesthetic choice following the theme of depicting water without actually using water. the song has a very breathless quality to it, and the lyrics directly make reference to water and breathlessness, so it only makes sense to have a physical manifestation of struggling to breathe.

now let's talk about

mise-en-scène

unlike most kpop mvs, I would argue that higher is not a spectacle in what we normally see spectacle to be. the overwhelming visual saturation of goblin (and the goblin remix) is more in line with what we expect, but how do you follow that, top it? the answer is that you don't. you aim for something with a completely different feel, which is exact what they did with higher.

the performing arts did not escape romanticism. the very start of the movement, sturm und drang, is actually named from a specific play written by friedrich maximilian klinger that premiered in 1777. the plays of the brief period are characterized by extreme and passionate emotions, and were siblings to one of the most famous genres of theatre, the melodrama. meant to appeal directly to the emotions of the audience using sensationalist plots and stock characters, the melodrama was the predominent form of entertainment in victorian england and gradually developed a specific form of its own. in this period we also start to see the development of 'stagecraft' into the recognizable form that it takes today. footlights, limelight/spotlighting, the separation of house and stage lighting, fly galleries, elevator platform mechanics, and the first (purported) western use of rear projection are all innovations of the late 18th and 19th centuries, as melodramas were known to have very intricate and spectacular stagings. and to go along with these stagecraft mechanics we see the rise in designated stage crews, which were predominantly off-duty sailors looking to make money. the rope systems that made up the fly galleries were very similar to that on ships, and much of the terminology and supersitions crossed over: this is the origin of the term 'rigging' being used for suspending set elements, and also the origin of the 'don't whistle in a theatre' superstition. as sailors communicated with whistle patterns on ships, the same system was adopted for changing scenery, and therefore whistling a random pattern could potentially drop a setpiece on an unsuspecting victim.

so with all this backstory out of the way, what is the very first full location we see? a stage, complete with forced perspective via the painted fabric legs (the side panels) and borders (the wavy upper panels). we even have a flat painted backdrop with a projection screen and hanging overhead lamps. there's also a second interior set, a desk in what looks to be a study of some kind. bit self explanatory on this one, taking the poet notion on the nose.

the locations have a bit of an obtuse arc, but it's there when you look for it. it starts interior spaces, where the ideas of sublime attempted to be recreated for the viewer. then it moves to transitory spaces; portions of nature isolated from a whole environment, interjections of human architecture into natural spaces:

(the white hut structure in the greenhouse is reminiscent of a skene (literally hut/tent), which is the structure at the back of the stage in ancient greek theatre used for the actors to change their masks and costumes. it was originally temporary, but slowly transformed into permanent stage architecture)

and then finally outdoors, into the sublime itself:

jwm turner, crossing the bridge, 1815

lastly,

lighting

there's a very clear lighting pattern here, primarily in light and dark. the base colour story is fairly simple complementary pairs; there's a lot of purple/red and green, and blue and yellow/amber, with everything relatively on the same tonal level. there are deliberate interjections of heavily saturated red for specific effect. there are also, most notably, a 'dark' version of all the sets. obviously as a reference to the eclipse that we see in the mv and in the concept photo series, but also as a reference to that darker undercurrent of the sublime, the upsetting, the uncanny, and the terrifying:

And the bay was white with silent light/Till rising from the same/Full many shapes, that shadows were/In crimson colours came.

[talkfastromance4]

/clementine/part 3: Ashton Irwin

Thank you all so so much for giving this new series a chance!🧡It will probably be structured like my Luke&Lily series where I’ll have open discussions about this family with little blurbs and then some one shots like these. Catch up below and please tell me what you think! Much love🧡

Part 1 // Part 2

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: sweet moments, mentions of pregnancy

Masterlist

•••••

Preparation for the baby began minutes after Y/N and Ashton celebrated the happy news in their garden and after many photos that Ashton took. He had her pose in the swing then sit on the edge of the pond so the vases could be seen behind her. She thought his excitement was so wholesome it wasn’t hard for her to have a genuine smile as he had her hold one of the vases. When he stuck a small orange flower in her hair she used that opportunity to give him a quick kiss.

“I’m so happy you’re happy,” she whispers.

“I’m over the moon,” he grins, eyes twinkling like stars. “Can I ask why you chose the colors orange and green?”

“Uhh…well. I really love your album and it’s like…” she touches her belly lightly, “this baby is our own superbloom.”

More kissing ensued then Ashton was rattling off paint ideas and how the room next to theirs would be the perfect nursery once he finally cleaned out the leftover packing boxes and some of his things he shifted there to make room for her stuff.

He began sketching the nursery right away but kept his drawings away from her until he could color them in, so she’d have the perfect visual of what he saw in his mind’s eye.

Later that night while they were getting ready for bed, after he checked the locks and security cameras he found her in their bathroom with her shirt yanked up to her breasts and her shorts pulled down a little staring at her reflection. She twisted every which way, a glowing smile present. He’s only known for a few hours and she’s already glowing.

It’s not until he shifts his focus from her face to what she was looking at, a small round bump. Ashton becomes transfixed as he admires her and the life that is very apparent growing within her.

“Do you see this?!” she squeals finally turning around to face him.

“I do see, and it’s incredible, angel,” he smiles moving behind her. He places his own hands over the small roundness of her belly then turns them towards the mirror. “You’re so beautiful.”

He rubs her stomach, fingers tickling her skin until she’s sighing against him. “You’re sure you’re happy?”

“I’m beyond happy, angel.” Then he frowns spinning her around so she’s facing him. He turns her chin up. “Why do you keep asking if I’m happy?”

“Because this wasn’t planned, and I don’t want you to feel stuck with me or something…” she shrugs, eyes lowering in shame.

“You can get that out of your head right now,” he cups her cheeks forcing her to look at him. “Remember when I told you there’s no downside to us not using protection? I meant it. Yes, we absolutely should have used protection, but this isn’t a bad thing, yeah? I’m so happy we’re having a baby.”

He kisses her forehead then her lips once, twice, three times. His hazel eyes search her face for more signs of doubt, but he sees the resolve appear.

“Okay, you’re right,” she sighs. “I’m overthinking it. I’m happy too.”

***

As months go on and Ashton continues to clean out the soon-to-be nursery, Y/N’s showing more and more. Their friends and family were ecstatic about the news of their bundle of joy that would be making their arrival in the middle of June.

Ashton has been more than happy being her support as her body continued to change. He made sure she had plenty of fluids, taking all the necessary prenatal vitamins, gave her the best herbal teas and didn’t mind running to the store for her odd cravings. For a straight week all she wanted was an apple and chicken sandwich.

The holidays went by and Y/N had a constant glow about her that radiated to everyone in proximity. Even through her migraines, nausea, back pain and heartburn, she was still extremely happy to be pregnant.

Mornings are spent by Ashton speaking to the baby while he rubs her belly. He and the boys have started working on the nursery and at nighttime Ashton has set up a little woodshop in the garage where he’s making the crib. He wants it to be circular and painted a light green.

She enjoys watching him work, loving the way his muscles ripple and flex, his sweat making his tattoos shine. Her raging hormones were also very apparent and fired at all times. Once, when Ashton came home he saw her crying on the couch because she had a really good sex dream and was very upset when she woke up. As of late, their best position is from behind while laying on their sides, fingers interlocked and Ashton’s lips on her neck. Because of her heightened arousal, her orgasms happened very quickly.

She’s eight months along now, both her and baby are extremely healthy. Her baby shower (that Ashton insisted on attending) is this weekend in their backyard, but the girls wouldn’t let them lift a finger.

They’re sitting out in the garden now watching the fish swim around lazily as dragonflies kiss the top of the sparkling water. The garden has expanded even more with overflowing green ferned plants and a small bird bath.

“I was thinking of having pork chops for dinner tomorrow and don’t forget we have a doctor appointment on Friday,” she tells him while playing with his fingers. They have more callouses now from all of his woodshop making, the crib is finished and drying in the garage. She looks over at him to see he’s staring off into the distance. “Ash?”

“Hm?”

“What are you thinking about so hard?” she taps her fingers delicately on his temple.

“I’m thinking about the night we met,” he sighs bringing his other hand to cradle her belly. “Do you remember?”

“Of course, I remember. Why are you thinking about that?”

“I had a thought that night and it popped in my head just now,” his fingers create soothing circles on her stomach.

“What thought?”

Ashton ignores the question and starts telling the story of the night they met fifteen months ago.

They were strangers then, both of them agreeing to a speed dating night but there was a twist, it was held in the dark. The waiters wore night vision glasses and walked the daters to their tables, fate had Ashton and Y/N be at the same table.

“They really took ‘blind dating’ literally, huh?” she laughed nervously trying to break the tension. She’s only been on less than a handful of blind dates but this one takes the cake.

“Yeah, I get the concept, but I wish I could see you,” he complimented. Her teasing piqued his interest immediately, she sounded feisty but also clever. “You sound pretty.”

“Yeah? How does pretty sound?” she giggled.

“Just like that,” he pointed then placed his finger down since she couldn’t see it. “Your personality is in your voice. You’re funny and witty and your giggle is just adorable.”

“Well, thank you,” she said feeling her face warm up. “You have a nice voice too.”

“I’m Ashton.”

“Nice to meet you, Ashton, I’m Y/N.”

The evening continued with more laughter as they tried to eat their food in the dark. It took them forever to find their forks and couldn’t stop laughing as they patted the table trying to find a knife.

“Maybe we don’t need one?” he asked.

“But it’s chicken! I don’t want to pick it up with my fingers, we aren’t in the stone ages.”

“Maybe it’s already cut?”

“You test it first.”

She listened as his fork stabbed onto the plate, then it clattered while he yelped in surprise.

“Did it bite you?” she laughed.

“No, it’s just very hot! Be careful.”

When the date has ended with a chocolate mint, the host of the blind dating soirée thanked everyone for participating and said if you’d like to meet your date face to face then take the door on the left, if not then come out the way you came. Ashton and Y/N’s nerves heightened, would the other walk through the left door or leave?

She followed the waiter to the left, hoping Ashton did the same. They had nametags on so it would be easy to find your date if you chose to meet them afterwards. She blinked a few times when the light from the streetlamps met her eyes and standing below a hanging flower basket filled with orange flowers was Ashton.

He smiled at her as she approached, her arms crossed over her chest as a slight breeze drifted through the street.

“Nice to put a face to the name,” he said.

Attraction was immediate and after a few minutes of chatting he asked if she’d like to get a coffee down the block. She accepted and told her friend she’d see her later. Her friend was going to a movie with the girl she had dinner with, and they were already holding hands. Y/N smiled that they hit it off right away.

Ashton and Y/N stayed at the coffee shop until it closed, neither of them wanted the night to end so he invited her back to his place. Normally she would never do that on a first date, but the way she and Ashton connected was unlike any other first date.

He gave her a tour of his house then turned on some music that floated outside onto the patio where he flicked on the small bulbed lights. He noticed she kept shivering and made a fire in his small pit, thankfully it was gas so it would warm up quickly.

“Thank you,” she smiled leaning closer to the flames.

Conversation was so easy between them, they discussed the universe, books, music, everything under the sun that helped define a person. When Lord Huron’s song ‘The Night we Met’ started she gasped.

“I love this song! I know the lyrics are sad, but it makes me feel like it’s a happy nostalgic song, you know?” she said.

Ashton stood up holding out his hand. “Care to dance?”

She stared up at him in shock, excitement and nervousness flowed through her, but a small burst of confidence had her hand fitting into his. He pulled her from her chair then held her close as he shifted from side to side. As the song continued the electricity between them accelerated.

The song stopped and crickets filled the silence.

“Can you keep playing that song?” she asked quietly.

Ashton nodded taking his phone from his pocket and clicked on the song again, making sure that it would be on repeat. He pocketed his phone then took her hand back in his picking up where they left off on their dance. They inch closer, their interlocked hands cradled between their chests. The yearning song mirrored their actions as his forehead pressed to hers.

On the third round of the song he found his own courage by pressing his lips to hers, soft, warm, and perfect. He felt her nerves slip away with his as the first kiss delved into a kiss that felt like a lifetime. It was new but felt so familiar that transcended time.

In that moment he decided that this was the girl he’s going to marry, start a family with, and dance to music under twinkling lights when they’re seventy-five years old. This blind date opened his eyes to a world of possibilities with her and he wanted them all.

The next day the state of California issued a statewide lockdown and their journey began.

“When we were dancing on the patio and we kissed for the first time,” Ashton says coming back to the present, “I knew then that I was going to marry you.” He leans down and kisses the highest point of her belly before taking her hand.

“Y-you did?”

“I know we haven’t talked about marriage, but…with this little one on the way soon I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

“We can talk about it,” she nods.

“What are your thoughts on it, angel? I’m feeling some hesitation,” he smiles but it doesn’t meet his eyes. He concentrates on their hands folded together over their baby.

“No, no! Hey,” she turns his head, so he looks at her. “I want to marry you; I’d go right now and waddle down the aisle, but I just don’t think it’s the best time right now. With the baby coming soon we’re going to be really crazy getting a schedule down and we’re going to be extremely tired…”

“You’re right. I don’t want to rush things. But you do want to marry me?” his hazel eyes widen a little.

“Of course, I want to marry you,” she smiles pecking his lips quickly. “I probably would have married you the night we met to be honest.”

“Yeah?” he grins.

“Yes, crazy boy.”

**

“Come on, why won’t you tell us what you’re having!” Luke whines adjusting his pacifier necklace. It’s their baby shower and one of the games includes wearing a necklace of pacifiers, if you hear someone say the name ‘baby’ you got to take their pacifier. The one with the most won a prize.

Ashton and Y/N had the envelope of the sex of their baby at her four-month ultrasound. Neither of them were really desperate to know so the envelope stayed on their nightstand. Each night they bounced back names and settled on two for either a boy or a girl which they also haven’t shared with friends or family. It’s not that they were scared someone would steal their names, but they liked having it just be known to them.

On the morning of their baby shower she found Ashton eyeing up the envelope after his shower.

“I’ve been thinking about opening it, too,” she smiled picking up the white envelope. Scrawled on the front were the words ‘Baby Irwin’.

“Do you want to?”

They opened it together, tears filling their eyes as they read the one syllable word underneath ‘you’re having a…’ they hugged and kissed in excitement then Ashton kissed her belly.

“Hello baby love,” he murmurs. “We’re having a party for you today, where you’ll be getting lots of clothes and toys. You’re already such a joy, your mama and I love you so much.”

“We’ll tell you,” she nods.

“As soon as Y/N gives birth we’ll let you all know,” Ashton finishes.

Luke was the only one affronted by not knowing, he wants to know the name and everything.

“But that won’t be until the middle of June!”

“Luke, relax. We promise you’ll be the first to know,” Ashton rolls his eyes as he hands Y/N another gift.

They’re all sat by the flower oasis; the fish splash every now and then almost is if they want to know what the gender of the baby is as well. She’s been spending a lot more time in the flower garden, talking to the baby and imagining sitting out here on the swing watching the fish swim.

The nursery is finished, one wall is painted in orange flowers growing up to the ceiling. A green plant sits in the corner next to the teal armchair. Ashton’s circular crib is all set up along with the other furniture in the room and some toys are scattered around. The room is absolutely perfect.

Y/N’s become a bit more emotional now as her due date draws closer. When opening presents are finished and they’re all eating cake (Luke was disappointed there wasn’t blue or pink frosting hiding inside) she teared up.

“Hey, are you all right? Does something hurt?” Ashton asks swiping away a tear from her cheek.

“No, I’m just so happy,” she cries dabbing at her eyes with the peach napkin. “All of our friends and family are here because they already love our baby so much.”

“Oh, angel,” he smiles as she hides her face in his chest. He rubs her back affectionately and kisses the top of her head. “They love you, too.”

As the party dwindled down, she went upstairs to lay down, her feet swell a lot more these days. Ashton helps clean up and brings the gifts inside the nursery. When the last guest leaves he’s exhausted as well and heads upstairs.

She’s sprawled across the bed her pregnancy pillow enveloped around her. That thing was a God send; it was the only way she could sleep through the night without any pain. Ashton was glad it helped her sleep; the only downside was that it was much harder for him to cuddle her close.

He removes his blue silk pants and tugs off his light pink shirt (an outfit choice he wore to mess with Luke) and joins her on the bed. He kisses her forehead, brushing his fingers through her hair then holds his hand on her belly. He feels a slight kick from the baby, and he smiles.

“Don’t wake mama up, baby love,” he smiles, “she’s had a long day on her feet. Take a nap with us.”

Ashton rests his head on the pillow then begins to hum a song until the baby’s kicking ceases and the family of three snooze together until dinner time.

**

Ashton is about to pull his hair out. It’s been two weeks past Y/N’s due date and she’s miserable. They’ve been trying everything their doctor has recommended to induce labor, spicy foods (after it made her cry she tossed that idea out the window), eating bananas, using the exercise ball and walking. But to no avail, their little baby was as stubborn as Y/N and Ashton.

She’s not sleeping well; she gets nearly six headaches a day and can’t stand for longer than ten minutes without her back hurting. Ashton has suggested trying to have sex as that’s the number one trial to induce labor, but she shot that down quick too.

“Ash, listen, I love you and you know I think you’re sexy, but sex is the furthest thing on my mind right now. I feel like a whale and I’m so hot and uncomfortable…”

When tears sprung in her eyes he never brought it up again but still, he wants their baby to arrive now so she’s not in this state anymore. She’s sitting on the couch with her feet propped up on the coffee table, a fan blasting on high directed right at her.

“Do you want anything to eat or drink?” he asks leaning over the back of the couch.

“No,” she grumbles rubbing her stomach. “Can we try walking again?”

“Around the block?”

“No, just the backyard,” she sighs trying to sit up. Ashton helps her stand then holds her elbow with one hand resting on her back. “My womb can’t be that comfortable.”

Ashton smiles but doesn’t say anything. He learned two weeks ago that any form of compliment towards her womb accommodations made her angry. She sighs when her feet touch the warm patio then into the soft grass.

They start from the opposite end of the flower oasis where now a small well resides with vines growing up. Ashton holds her hand as they walk through the garden, each section resembling a chapter in this part of their life. It’s filled with color and vibrance and was made from love. When they reach the koi pond, Felix, Oscar and Patricia are gathered together near the edge.

“Can you hand me the food?” she asks.

Ashton removes his hand to grab the fish food and hands it to her. She pops it open then sprinkles the food into the water.

“Do you think they know I’m pregnant?” she asks.

“Maybe…are they like dogs in how they can sense it?” Ashton asks.

“I don’t know. I like to think they know. All right,” she sighs heavily, “lets’ head back inside.”

As soon as she crosses the threshold, she hears a small pop then something trickling down her legs. She gasps and looks down at her feet to see water covering her orange colored toes (courtesy of Ashton painting them since she can’t see her feet). Her water broke. It’s time.

“Um, Ash?” she reaches towards a chair and holds onto it.

“What’s up, angel?”

“My water just broke.”

“In the pond? How? Wait—what?!” he spins from the fridge and stands in front of her. His eyes widen. “Okay, stay right here, let me get you some new pants and we’ll go to the center.”

**

After twelve hours of labor, their baby girl was born on July 1. They both cried tears of joy at the sight of her, her face was a perfect circle with long lashes and an already apparent pair of dimples on her round cheeks. Ashton couldn’t stop staring at her as Y/N held her in her arms, he strokes his finger over her forehead gently. The peach fuzz of her skin is warm and already familiar.

“Here’s our superbloom,” she smiles to Ashton.

He meets her gaze, eyes filled with love and admiration that she carried their baby girl for this amount of time. He kisses her and rests his forehead against hers.

“Our darling Clementine.”

•••••

Taglist: @galcalirwin​ @cashtonasff5sos @thecurlsofgod​ @myloverboyash​ @rotten-kandy​ @tea4sykes​ @jannimoeller3​ @loveroflrh​ @iovehemmings​ @cxddlyash​ @princesslrh​ @here-for-the-uproars @katiaw2​ @g-l-pierce​ @fairyintheglass​​ @gosh-im-short​​ @banditocth @dezzym17 @koalacal @lukeisbaby​​ @spicycal​​ @mysticalhood​​ @notinthesameguey​​ @wastedheartcth​​ @atlcalm​​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​​ @calumance​​ @babylon-corgis​​ @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt​​ @lanternlover2​​ @istaywithmyjonas​​ @calteahood​​ @sarcastically-defensive17​​ @another-lonely-heart​​ @devilatmydoor​​ @frontmanash​​ @philthepegacorn​​ @mantlereid​ @lukedorkyhemmings​​ @addietagglikesbands​​ @kikixfandoms @sanrioluke​​ @mayve-hems​​ @morguelth @haikucal​​ @thatscooibaby​​ @meghanrose05​​ @idontneedanyone​​ @dinosaursandsocks​​ @haveufoundwhaturlooking4​​ @suchalonelysunflower​​ @burstintocolor​​ @zhangyixingxing1​​ @dead-and-golden​​ @mymindwide​​ @everyscarisahealingplace​​ @stardust-galaxies​​ @blackbutterfliescal​​ @redrattlers​​ @lovelybonesetc​​ @karajaynetoday​​ @quasighost​ @i-like-5sos​ @creampiecashton​

[bulletballet-arch]

REALLY LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY. RULES. repost ,   don’t  reblog !    tag 10 ! good  luck ! TAGGED. I took this from Minnie’s archived Bioshock blog. I’ve been looking for this meme all this month. TAGGING. @hammurabicomplex. @bluuxriising. @ Me - for Sal on @bulletsoverbensonhurst​. @immaterialed (charlie) @soypeor (bella) @svmmercmance​. @mrflayed. and you!

BASICS. FULL  NAME :  Eve Delores Littlejohn NICKNAME : Evie, Little Evie (by her maternal side of the family), Delores, Didi NAME  MEANING / S  Eve is from the ancient Hebrew name  חַוָּה (Chawwah), which was derived from the Hebrew word חָוָה (chawah) meaning "to breathe" or the related word חָיָה (chayah) meaning "to live". Delores is a variant of Dolores, meaning "sorrows", taken from the Spanish title of the Virgin Mary María de los Dolores, meaning "Mary of Sorrows." Littlejohn is a surname that has historically been found in England and Scotland. With potential origins being either ‘to distinguish a beloved child that was not the eldest.’ Or, ‘a contradictory nickname for a large man.’ HISTORICAL  CONNECTION? : She’s named after her grandmother, Evelyn Hollins.

AGE : 42 BIRTHDAY :  June 2 ETHNIC  GROUP : Black-American. Meaning she’s mixed with a lot (Some of her relatives are respectively Creole and Italian) but uses Black as a catch-all term. NATIONALITY :  American LANGUAGE / S : English, Italian, Spanish, Latin, some French SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :   Bisexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :  Biromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS : Verse dependent, usually married -or connected- to Salvatore Scozzari in some way. CLASS : Upper-Class HOME  TOWN / AREA :   Brooklyn. Spent time between Bedford-Stuyvesant - with her paternal grandfather and Park Slope - with her maternal grandparents.  CURRENT  HOME : In her childhood home in Bedford-Stuyvesant. PROFESSION : Ballet Instructor. Former Professional Ballerina. ( Other verses see her as a professional thief. )

PHYSICAL. HAIR : Black. In terms of her natural hair, Eve has springy, 3C hair she seldom shows off because she was raised in a family where straightened hair was deemed presentable and professional.  EYES : Thin almond eyes. Dark brown. NOSE : Straight and small. FACE :  She has a prominent, high forehead, that’s accented with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. LIPS :  Full. COMPLEXION : She has a light brown (tawny) complexion.  SCARS : None major. TATTOOS : None. HEIGHT : 5′4″ BUILD : Eve has a slender build. One of those people who have been small and petite since childhood. Despite this, she also stays skinny because she is obsessively conscious of the food she consumes. The older she gets the more she weighs, however. USUAL HAIR STYLE :  Her hair is cut short. Reaching her shoulders in a neat, even bob. She either curls it in a retro fashion or curls the tips. For work she wears it in a traditional, pinned bun. USUAL FACE LOOK : In public, she appears stoic for the most part. Any emotion shown (such as the length of a smile) is carefully calculated. She has to seem perfect.  USUAL  CLOTHING : Form fitting dresses. Incredibly chic and fashionable for the time. Shoes include heels - never open-toed, unless she has on stockings. Extravagant earrings. Jewelry that can include either necklaces, crosses, pearls, or dainty rings. Prone to wearing black sunglasses in public.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : Thunderstorms, airplanes, creatures like weasels, snakes and ferrets, break-ins, men she doesn’t know, harm coming to her children ASPIRATION / S :  Formerly wanted to become a major [black] ballerina in the elite world of ballet, now she just wants to expose more [inner city children] to dance through her job. Personally, she wants her children to change the world in some form or fashion, too. Eve also has good ideas on improving the community, but at the moment has no idea how to go about these ideas. POSITIVE  TRAITS :  Generous, compassionate, patient, protective NEGATIVE  TRAITS : Strict, sullen, hard to read, represses her emotions, secretive MBTI :  Advocate - INFJ-T ZODIAC :  Cancer TEMPERAMENT :  Melancholic ANIMALS :  Lioness VICE / S :  Pride & Lust FAITH : Christian. Grew up Baptist, but Catholic influences have been around her since childhood. Attended a Catholic High School in Park Slope, her grandmother Evelyn was also a practicing Catholic.  GHOSTS ? : Yes and no. She feels that objects formerly owned by the deceased posses the essence of their previous owners and that they essentially live on through these pieces of property. AFTERLIFE ? : Yes. REINCARNATION ? :  No, but it’s a romantic concept. ALIENS ? : No. POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :  Democratic ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE :  She likes being where she’s at now. But honestly, being upper class is all she’s ever known. SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION : Bourgeoisie, basically. The Littlejohn’s represent The Historical Black Elite.  EDUCATION  LEVEL : College level. FAMILY.

FATHER :  William ‘Bill’ Littlejohn MOTHER : Linda Littlejohn ( nee Hollins ) SIBLINGS : None EXTENDED  FAMILY : Amos Littlejohn (paternal grandfather) Liza Littlejohn (paternal grandmother) Evelyn Hollins (maternal grandmother) Giuseppe D’Aietti (maternal grandfather) and a wide host of cousins, aunts and uncles.

FAVOURITES. BOOK :  Night Song by Beverly Jenkins. The Color Purple by Alice Walker. Some sort of old, French erotic novel that was published before she was born. MOVIE : Eve watches films along the lines of...Waiting to Exhale, Beaches, The First Wives Club and Fatal Attraction. She loves Made-For-TV movies from the time period. In regards to plays, her favorite one is Sunday In The Park With George. 5  SONGS :  Meet Me On The Moon / Essence of Sapphire / No One In The World / People / The First Time I Saw Your Face  DEITY :  Persephone  HOLIDAY : New Years Eve, Christmas, Thanksgiving. Major holidays during the colder season. MONTH :  October SEASON :  Autumn PLACE :  The dance studio she works at. WEATHER : Sunny, but cool. SOUND : The voices of Anita Baker and Sarah Vaughn. A skilled hand running over piano keys. Soft trumpets. Running water. Cats making chipper little meows. SCENT / S :  Perfume, floral scented lotions, her partner’s cologne TASTE / S :  Caramel, the tang of dark chocolate, strawberries coated with either chocolate, or sprinkles of white sugar. Light Vinegar.  FEEL / S : Performing in front of an audience. Hot water engulfing your skin after a long day. Satin - whether it be the fabric of her clothes or sheets, your fingers tightly intertwined with another’s, feeling your significant other’s chest raise and lower against your skin with each breath they take. ANIMAL / S : Cocker Spaniels, Afghan Hounds, Cats, Birds - she loves all ( well, a majority ) of animals. NUMBER :  Doesn’t have one. COLOR :  White, Pink, Gold.

EXTRA. TALENTS :  Dance, Eve is trained in ballet when it comes to her main verse. She has attended ballet classes since the age of eight and ever since then she placed all of her focus into it. Similarly, Eve has always had the makings of a good artist - as a child she enjoyed drawing and had informal art lessons with a man who lived in the basement of her grandfather’s brownstone, but she never invested into that half of her. BAD AT : Singing, Being interviewed, Public Speaking (as in Speech Giving), Decision Making TURN  ONS :  Charisma, Leadership Skills, Temperature Play, Phone Sex, Heavy Kissing, Light Roleplay TURN  OFFS :  Public Sex, Tearing [ Her ] Clothes, Threesomes, Cruelty, Senseless Violence HOBBIES :  viewing plays & some musicals, reading romance novels, shopping, working out (she was into the whole celebrity VHS tape exercise trend), playing tennis, decorating AESTHETIC :  Vintage Black Glamour, Black Ballerinas, Champagne and Wine Glasses, Paintings by Melinda Byers and Edward 'Clay' Wright QUOTES :  "I'm bad with words, I hope you're good in reading eyes." / "There are truths I haven't even told God. And not even myself. I am a secret under the lock of seven keys."

FC INFO. MAIN  FC / S : Lynn Whitfield ( A Thin Line Between Love & Hate ) ALT  FC / S : Kylie Bunbury ( Twisted ) OLDER  FC / S :  Lynn Whitfield ( Greenleaf ) YOUNGER  FC / S : N/A VOICE  CLAIM / S : Lynn Whitfield

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?       A1 : Recently I decided that if/when I try to write anything serious about Eve again, it’ll center on her being a jewel thief because it presents me more fun, and emotionally diverse, opportunities. That and I have a very specific cover image in my mind. Ideally, her adventures would be a series of books. I have no title in mind, no idea about how ‘it would be filmed’ ( although a style replicating 90s films would be excellent, film grain and all. ) but, I do have a bunch of plots in mind that I really don’t feel like typing out here.  

Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?         A2 :  Her score would have a vintage sound (or a jazzy Spike Lee sound, if you will) with instrumentals by Dorothy Ashby (a Jazz Harpist) the Ahmad Jamal Trio, Pharaoh Sanders, Yusef Lateef and Tarika Blue. For music with lyrics, the soundtrack would include the likes of Julie London, Sarah Vaughn, Ella Fitzgerald, and Dionne Warwick.

Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?   + Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ? A3 :  Whenever I make NPCs for my character’s lives I actually can’t just let them just be NPCs. I start thinking about them too much. Developing them too much. And then I’m like, ‘wow! I really like this character!’ Eve was a different character when I began writing her, and likely wouldn’t be considered the same character as she was previously, if I told someone in real life who knows about my writing (like my grandma) about all the changes she has undergone. Originally Delores was a university professor, because I thought it could lead to interesting interactions with college-age muses. And her previous history with the mafia was also something interesting to tap in. But then I started thinking about what was realistic, what wasn’t realistic, what did I feel comfortable/interested writing? What didn’t I feel comfortable/interested in writing?  So as time went on, things would alter about this character. And the new things I came up with attracted me more. 

Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.         A5 :  I have a love/hate relationship with Eve’s quiet demeanor. On one hand, I think quieter characters need love and the ability to be fully dimensional but on the other hand, writing louder characters has always been more fun for me. But really, Eve’s guarded behavior makes writing her stressful in some cases with others because sometimes...if I’m going to be honest...people don’t know how to carry a thread and interact with someone of her demeanor effectively. 

Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?       A6 : We’re both black, we’re both into art (although our exact interests and aesthetics with art differ)

Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?         A7 : Realistically she would think I need to take better care of myself.

Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions with ?   A8 :  We skippin’ this question.

Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?       A9 : Films such as, “Waiting to Exhale,” “The Kitchen” and “Widows.” Books by Alice Walker, like “The Third Life of Grange Copeland” as well as her short story, “Roselily.” The historical mob figure Stephanie St. Clair.

Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?       A10 : A few hours.

[leejungchans]

facts about juliet.

trigger warning: mentions of depression, anxiety and disordered eating

(a/n: please let me make it very clear that i do not support the glorification or romanticisation of mental illnesses. the reason why i write characters who deal with mental illnesses/disordered eating is because i struggle with them too, i know how real and scary they are to live with, and writing these characters helps me cope as well as to express some aspects of my real life. more importantly, if you are going through something, please talk to someone you trust, or send in an ask to vent if you want to. i promise you that help is out there, and things will get better. please stay safe, take care, and i love you.)

#INTERESTS AND HABITS;

She likes jogging, jumping rope and doing Pilates.

She enjoys horror movies but still gets scared.

She has a lot of interest in fashion and makeup, and likes to dress stylishly.

Juliet also likes Harry Potter.

She likes her food very spicy, but she tries not to have really spicy food during comebacks and promotions to avoid affecting her voice.

One of Juliet’s hobbies is photography. She also likes to take photos with her film camera as she loves the aesthetic of it.

She likes memes a lot, and enjoys seeing those of herself, her members and her friends in the industry. She also has a secret account on Twitter, so she is quite up-to-date on jokes within the fandom.

#MISC.;

She was born on June 6, 2001 at 23:28 in Sydney, making her big three Gemini (sun sign), Sagittarius (moon sign), and Pisces (rising sign).

When she is embarrassed, her ears turn red very quickly.

According to the others, Juliet can be clumsy sometimes, but she is also viewed as one of the smartest and wittiest members, and is known as the “language expert” in ATEEZ.

Like the boys, Juliet is very competitive.

Part of ATEEZ’s “demon line” 😼

Juliet falls asleep easily and is a heavy sleeper; she can sleep through loud noises and fall asleep anywhere.

She tears up and cries very easily.

She is quite introverted but also likes to make new friends. Like Yeosang, her MBTI is ISFJ.

Juliet is said to be extremely scary when angry, though she very rarely loses her temper and has a lot of patience.

When she’s frustrated, she usually subconsciously pokes the inside of her cheek with her tongue (ATINYs find this habit very attractive)

Though she tries not to show it, Juliet gets frightened easily. She jumps whenever fireworks or confetti cannons at shows go off, so she has to cover her ears before they happen.

She has a fear of butterflies (lepidopterophobia).

She has been suffering from depression, anxiety and disordered eating since her trainee days at SM. Aside from her family, only the boys and KQ know.

She is ambidextrous. She writes with her right hand but usually holds utensils with her left.

According to the members and fans, Juliet eats like a hamster/chipmunk and stores food in her cheeks as she eats. The boys sometimes call her “chipmunk” as a result. Her other nickname, “koala”, comes from the boys claiming she looks like one when she sleeps.

When Juliet doesn’t have schedules, she prefers wearing her glasses instead of contacts.

To support the Polished Man campaign, she asks the nail artists to paint one of her nails a different colour from the rest, and tries to coordinate nail polish colours with Hongjoong.

Her voice is deeper when she speaks in English, French and Spanish, and quieter and higher-pitched in Korean.

Like Wooyoung, Juliet attended Hanlim Multi Art School. She was in the department of Applied Music with Somi, the two are thus very close.

The other members baby her a lot and are very protective of her.

If she didn’t become an idol, she would’ve studied to become a veterinarian.

She helps with the lyrics and choreographies in some of ATEEZ’s songs. She wants to learn to compose and produce songs.

She gets emotional every time she sings “THANK U”.

Her custom mic is hot pink.

In the dorm, she has her own room.

She cooks a lot in the dorm.

When ATEEZ is on breaks, she spends her time exercising, learn other groups’ choreographies, watching YouTube videos, dramas or Netflix, drawing and painting, reading, and playing on her Switch.

On ATEEZ’s official YouTube channel, her series is called “JULIET’S ARCHIVE”, where she makes crafts, cooks and does song or dance covers.

She is part of K-pop’s “Aussie line”.

She is still close with Yeri from Red Velvet and many members of NCT as she trained with them when she was a trainee at SM. She is also close to Somi, the members from ITZY and Stray Kids.

She is a fan of artists such as TWICE, Stray Kids, SEVENTEEN, EXO, The Boyz, TXT, ITZY, NCT, BTS, Red Velvet, MAMAMOO, BLACKPINK, LOONA, Eric Nam, IU, HyunA, Chungha and Sunmi. awjkshwis the multi life 😔

Her role models are Rosé and Lisa from BLACKPINK, Seulgi from Red Velvet, Taeyeon, Hani from EXID, Sunmi and Chungha.

[worldwidemochiguy]

the man in the moon (Yandere! Yoongi)

Summary: You can’t help but gaze at the stars and he can’t help but gaze back at you. 

Word Count: 1.7K

Masterlist

Warnings: Yandere, Kidnapping, (kind of) Stockholm syndrome, Dissociation, bad writing. 

Authors note: I got the idea and then made this and tbh it’s kind of shitty which makes me sad bc it could have been a cool concept but ah well lol. 

The man in the moon is my man

He never say nothing so I know he understands

He’ll never break my heart 

I know he’s here to stay

Tell all the other boys to go away

I’ll take the man in the moon 

- Man in the Moon, by Voice of the Beehive 

Yoongi had a fairly repetitive schedule. He would wake up and then… well. That was basically it. He preferred not to go outside, deeming the bouncing gait he had to adopt to travel around as ‘undignified’, even if there was no one else around to see it. He spent his days in his meticulously shuttered compound. Covering the windows was necessary, given that the moon was far slower at rotating than its orbital partner, Yoongi thought with contempt. 

Rather than having a cycle of darkness and light over 24 hours, it took his planet almost a month to complete a ‘day’. Even Yoongi was incapable of sleeping when the sun’s full glare was seeping through the thick window panes, and after enduring a week and a half of the torture, he went around with a hammer, an armful of boards, and a budding vendetta against the sun. 

Eons later, Yoongi’s skin was infinitely paler, his eyes were infinitely piercing, and his life was infinitely dull. Yoongi sometimes dabbled in casting his gaze onto the Earth, the ugly planet he was stuck forever facing towards. Normally, what he found was severely lacking. Stupidity, and greed, and petty squabbles seemed to be all the human race knew how to do. But, for lack of a better option, he kept on looking. And then he found you.

From the moment he saw you, he knew you were different. He almost thought you were a fallen star, stuck in a place you didn’t belong just like he was. You were clearly brighter than any other filthy human marring the Earth, and you only became increasingly so as you aged.

Yoongi’s eyes followed you everywhere, he saw when you learned how to ride a bike, when you got your high school diploma, when you got your first promotion. He resented every second of the hours you were woefully hidden from view. It was ridiculous; he could peer through hundreds of thousands of kilometres of space and locate you with ease, but as soon as you disappeared behind the curve of the Earth, you were out of sight? 

Yoongi couldn’t bear it when he couldn’t see you, even if he knew you were going to bed in that time and therefore had less of a chance of getting hurt. He was very protective of you. How could he not be, he reasoned, when he had saw you grow up before his very eyes. Of course, he had previously watched billions of souls come into existence and age and wither and die, all without sparing a thought. But he could never let that happen to you. He could not let you be another distant creature, always in his sight but never in his reach. 

It was difficult for Yoongi to watch you living your life without him. The first time you kissed another man, he felt an anger that had never before reared its head rip itself out of him. It raged along the shorelines of the Earth, coaxing in fearsome waves from the deep. It ripped along the streets, blowing with the force of a thousand gales. The moon almost tilted off its axis, turning its back on the Earth for far longer than it should have done. 

Yoongi saw the devastation his rage resulted in. The loss of thousands of lives. The destruction of property built by the hands of men. He only felt a flicker of satisfaction. It didn’t matter, it wasn’t enough, he would never be able to harm those around you (those who wanted to hurt you) without also hurting you in the process. You were too far, the only way he could touch you was with a broad wave of violence. And that is how Yoongi came to his conclusion.

He could not harm those around you without harming you. You were stuck down there among danger. The solution was simple: he needed to draw you to his side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“He’ll never break my heart, I know he’s here to stay,” You sang, or — more accurately — shouted, using your deodorant stick as a makeshift-microphone since your friend had already snatched the hair brush. “Tell all the other boys to go away!” You screamed the lyrics together, dancing around your cramped living room. 

“Mina!” You called, pointing the stick at your friend, “Solo!” 

She cackled and then sung along with the song blasting on the radio, laughing so hard she could barely get the lyrics out. When she pointed at you again to finish the song off, you did so with flair.

“I’ll take the man in the moon.” You crooned. You both paused dramatically as the bassline faded out, before collapsing into giggles on the carpeted floor. Mina had come over to try and cheer you up after your boyfriend had forgotten to show at your anniversary date, again, and she had obviously succeeded. 

“Y’know,” you started, once the laughter had died down, and Mina hummed in acknowledgement. “My parents would always tell me about the man in the moon.”

“Tell you what?” Mina asked, rolling over onto her stomach and resting her chin on her forearms.

“Well… they would tell me stories about him.”

“Such as…?” Mina prompted, and then burst into giggles as you chucked a pillow at her for her impatience. 

“Such as… that he existed. Like, he was sent there as a punishment.” 

“Punishment? For what?”

“I don’t know,” you floundered, “For, like, being weird or something. Anyways, the point is-” you stressed, “I’ve always felt like there was someone watching me. From up there.”

Mina’s immaculately groomed eyebrows flicked up.

“So you seriously believe there’s a man on the moon?” You flushed and sat up, shrugging your shoulders slightly.

“I don’t know, it’s just… weird, I guess.”

“It’s not weird, you’re weird.” 

Mina was expecting the pillow being swung at her face that time, and fought back valiantly with a throw cushion. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your body cast a shadow along your moonlight-bathed room as you leaned your forehead against the window. Up there in the sky, the moon continued to shine as it always had done, your eternal silent companion. It was a full moon that night. You noticed that as you brushed a finger against the glass separating you and the night sky. It was difficult to believe the moon was so far away, it almost felt like, if you only opened your window and leaned out, you could cup it in your hands.

It was almost a compulsion that led you to lift the latch. Like the pull of the tide, you leaned away to twist the handle and then drew back to breathe in the night air. You couldn’t trust your eyes, as it almost looked like the moon had swollen, now bigger, brighter, closer. It became blurred, hidden as your breath formed translucent clouds which eddied on the cool night breeze, swirling faster and faster. You pitched your body further out of the window, taking one arm away from its steadying position on the windowsill to reach out. To brush the moon, as it started to take on an almost unnatural glow.

Like a moth to its burning cold flame, you were drawn in, your eyes wide, your face gleaming white as you approached the moon. A pair of eyes were stretching across space, fixed on you unerringly, coaxing you out. You felt a hand enclose around your outstretched palm. It tugged you forwards slightly, and you lost your balance, tipping into the open arms of the night. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on, sweetheart. Wake up. Can you wake up for me?” The kind, almost intimate words were uttered by a voice that sounded like it hadn’t been used for some time. The hoarse, gravelly tones echoed in your head as your eyelashes fluttered. Immediately, there was a cold hand cradling your head, and another beneath your back, helping you to a sitting position as you squinted, still unable to take in your surroundings. 

Slowly, your vision cleared. A man was bent over you, his striking dark eyes swimming with concern. His skin was… so white it almost hurt your eyes to look at. The paleness seemed to have even leached the colour out of his hair, leaving him as an almost wraithlike figure. 

“W-where am I?” You croaked, your own voice rough as if it had been a long time since it was last used. You glanced around the room, trying to find an indicator of the time, or of where you were. You could find none.

His lips quirked slightly, and he guided your body back down to the bed.

“You’re safe.” He told you. “That’s all that matters. Now sleep.” As he commanded it, your eyes shut and everything went dark again. 

The man brought you strange things, food that was not food, gifts that felt almost unnatural — a doll that followed you around the room with its eyes, an hourglass that never ran out of sand. You couldn’t seem to break out of the limbo you sunk into when you fell out of your bedroom window and into this strange place. There were no windows, and when you asked the man — Yoongi, he told you to call him — what time it was, he simply smiled and told you he didn’t know either, and didn’t care to find out. 

Sometimes you woke up and felt those eyes on you, and he would be watching you. He would always smooth your hair back — which was starting to grey, or was it just paling, like his? — and tell you not to worry. He never told you what he wanted from you, and after a time (you don’t know how long) you stopped caring. You passed through many rooms, all of them the same, all of them lacking windows, until you found an exit.

You went outside and saw Yoongi, standing sentinel on a rocky outcrop. You climbed over to join him, and turned your gaze to see what he was looking at. There stood the Earth, small and inconsequential from your standing. By now, you could hardly remember what it had been like to live there. Yoongi turned to look at your blank face, skin as pale and glowing as the moon, and he smiled. He was alone no longer. 

[straynstay]

Astronaut theory

first of all, I am confusion lol

SKZ broke me in a way that my mind is overthinking so many things that now I believe that anything from their MVs might be a sign. And may I add that Chan's recent live only made me even more confused PLS BOY IF YOU SEE THIS DROP THE THEORY YOU SAID WAS QUITE CLOSE TO THE TRUTH cause I'm nearly losing my mind, I need answers!!!!

so here I am again trying to understand their concept and trust me, it's not easy or short and I don't even know if it's right which makes me even more frustrated... also, we may have lost some important pieces to connect the whole story bc we don't know what was taken from the original MV with ot9, so yeah…

anyways... let me put a guide for you guys cause I'm not gonna write the title of the songs all the time, so AS = Astronaut; DK = Double Knot; MH = Miroh; SE = Side Effects; VS = Victory Song; YW = Yellow Wood (teaser); D9 = District 9; IAY = I Am You

Alright, let’s go back to the beginning! In I Am Not teaser we see that each one has a specific function inside the system or is doing sth very particular, Felix is dancing in front of mirrors on a rooftop (where they always are on their MVs) with a building nearby that shows a sign with FAKE on it – clearly indicating that either Felix is fake or their reality is fake, or maybe both; Changbin is in a room full of TVs like MIA; Seungmin is drawing sth that looks like a map (but I guess it was supposed to be sth else?) but he’s also the one in charge of the maps in Double Knot; we have Hyunjin trying to control a VR system, he looks quite frustrated with it, and after Hyunjin removes the headset, we hear a sound similar to when a program is being interrupted on tv and his image is frozen, probably bc he was disconnected from the main system.

and the most intriguing part: we have Jeongin in a bus – also sth reoccurring in their MVs – and he sees another Jeongin sitting on the bus stop, as if waiting for him. We all know by now that it’s a double, a clone, or whatever you may call it (like I mentioned previously on my Side Effects analysis that clearly shows they have ‘shadows’ like other selves copying their moves).

we don’t see what happens afterwards, but I’m gonna assume he finds out something is not right in the system and probably tells Chan (their leader) about it. Why I think this? Because in MIA they both sing the following lines: “Something is different, carefully look around you” (which is exactly what Chan does in D9) and “Something is changing, even if you hide it so hard, I can see it all” (which is what Jeongin does on the bus and also in Miroh, cause he’s the one in the control room, right?). But the thing is… I believe that the fake Jeongin is the one with SKZ in District 9. The double took his place after he got off the bus and is acting like Jeongin would, helping SKZ and all, but his line “better watch out” shows sth different, it seems somehow too menacing, almost like a threat – at least to me. So SKZ better watch out now cause there’s a fake among them, but SKZ is unaware

moving on.. it’s also in MIA that we see SKZ being duplicated – it looks like it can’t be helped. We know for sure that there’s a double for Chan, Woojin and Felix. In the MV it seems like Hyunjin also has a double that is watching himself from the other side of the door while the one inside the room says “Why are you staring at me again?” and then we see a surveillance camera (they’re onto Hyunjin, but Hyunjin seems to notice it).

this may seem dumb, but Changbin is duplicated in Get Cool (and like I said, any evidence is evidence lol). I don’t remember seeing Jisung, Seungmin and Minho being duplicated in any MV, and isn’t it weird that they’re the ones we see on the cage in AS?

in My Pace we have seven numbers shown behind them when they’re dancing: 137, 163, 191, 223, 241, 271 and 307. I thought they wouldn’t put this randomly so I searched what these number might mean and I found that they’re prime numbers (as you know, prime numbers can only be divided by themselves), and that prime numbers are very useful for creating keys to decrypt data by hackers. So I thought… what if Jeongin and Chan were trying to decrypt the system in order to mess with it but they need a key and Hyunjin was the key? And after DK happened, they managed to create glitches even more powerful than before? (like I explained in my theory).

anyways… moving on to Astronaut. ASTRONAUT = a person who is trained to travel in a spacecraft. But what if in SKZ concept an Astronaut is someone trained to travel their realities? And as we can see in I Am Not, Hyunjin is the one being trained in the VR apparatus.

also, he’s the one with an airplane behind him in Victory Song (and by now I think every little thing in these MVs are clues, sorry)

so what I take from this is that Hyunjin is like the tester of the realities they’ll have to face in order to escape District 9, like he is on a trial mode, if that makes any sense…

in the Astronaut MV, as we all noticed, we have some references from past MVs such as I Am You (the spinning thing); Victory Song (the red flares Chan & Jeongin are holding); Miroh (the boxes); Side Effects (the cart) and Chronosaurus (the plastics)

it’s interesting that Jeongin and Chan are the ones together when the music begins and I think this might mean sth because they’re always referenced as one, like in IAY; and Chan in AS is probably talking to MH’s Jeongin, because if they know what’s happening in the system, they might be able to keep in touch with each other even from different realities – but this is just me speculating too much!

in the MV we see 3 orbs: the 1st one is blueish with a green center; the 2nd is dark blueish/purple with a yellow center, and the last one is transparent with a black center.

so I googled those orb colors and found out that the first one may signify communication, neutrality, healing – might be applied to a master/guide; the second one may signify caution, insight, notice; while the last one may signify insecurity, being trapped or tortured. I don’t know if this makes sense, but I put it in here bc I strongly believe that these orbs represent Chan, Hyunjin and Jeongin, since they’re the ones that seem to be the focus of this storyline (and the color scheme of the scenes the orbs appear reminded me of IAY, 19 and SE)

going back to the AS MV, we also see Felix glitching like he did in MH and I was able to see in the background glasses being smashed, lightening, buildings, a road and a bridge, storm, moon, etc., and these are all elements that are present in their MVs, like showing what they already faced so far.

the cage scene made me think of District 9. When we first see it, Jeongin is the only one inside, but then we also see Han, Minho, Seungmin with him – and they’re slightly glitching, btw.

some other things happen to Hyunjin, he keeps on running, and now he’s outside on a dark road with a storm coming up – which reminded me of SE a lot, especially because of the two moons -, but he seems quite peaceful facing all those terrifying elements

he runs towards the end of the road that he can’t even see what’s waiting for him there – but maybe it’s because he already knows what happens next.

Hyunjin finds Chan in front of a door (maybe the exit?) and they all go through – to me it looks like Felix is the one about to close it, like he did with the gate in D9. Chan then shoots sth towards the sky like he did in VS (which caused a storm), but here it only makes a beam of light appear for them – as if they’re asking to go up? Like ‘beam me up Scotty’? you guys know this Star Trek reference, right? lol

and now we see the sky, but we don’t have two moons… I know it’s probably bc it’s morning, but in SE it was also morning and we saw two moons, so I’m assuming Hyunjin was able to find the finish line of the VR simulation (because I’m assuming that everything with the two moons is actually the VR)

at the end, we see Jeongin walking to the spinning thing like a glitch – like Chan also did when he went to the door, as if teleporting from here to there – and he’s alone, probably left behind. But why would SKZ leave him behind? Probably because they didn’t know he was there...

alright, so what does it all mean? I’m gonna try my best to comment everything and try to link the MVs with the lyrics to create a somewhat decent storyline.

on the released picture of the AS track list, this is what is written (it’s a rough translation, so I’m sorry if it’s wrong): “when we were happy together, we could do anything, where we chatted and laughed carelessly until dawn. Suddenly, I saw a bead… what is it? As soon as I got close, I heard a strange sound. At the end of the sound was a faint mixture of familiar voices calling my name. Without thinking, I started getting drawn by the sound”

To me, the first part means the I Am You setting. They were all happy after being free, they created their own world where they could do anything as long as they were together. In AS we see Hyunjin in this same environment and that’s also when the first orb appears. Hyunjin is attracted by the orb that could possibly be SKZ’s way to communicate with him inside the VR. Because remember, Hyunjin is there but what he’s seeing and experiencing is not real. He’s testing the ways out for SKZ. But he was so happy in that reality that he lost himself, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do anymore. And SKZ sent something to guide him out of this fake environment as we see in AS. He then started his journey back to where the real SKZ are, going through all the tokens from the realities he’s been through (like the boxes with the confusing mazes, but that are easily destroyed bc is not real; the cart from SE, the gate from D9, etc…). What also gives him hints is how the members start to act after he begins his running in AS. After he destroys the boxes, Felix is standing there like a heroic figure, glitching with Changbin, looking almost unapproachable or as if he can’t see him. we see Chan on the floor, so Chan is probably grounded like Hyunjin.

then he sees his friends trapped inside a cage. But the thing is that this cage is really ridiculous, any of them could climb or help the other to get out of there, so I think they’re trapped bc they’re not real, it’s all a simulation, – except for Jeongin, but I’ll get to this point later on, hold on!! – and this cage represents D9.

Hyunjin runs endlessly until he reaches the road I mentioned already, and he finds Chan, they all go through the door (how could they if four of them were trapped? unless nothing of that is real) and they are all dressed in white, like when they escaped D9, dancing happily on the rooftop.

to me, after Jeongin got off the bus he realized the system’s plan and told Chan (their leader), and they came up with ideas to escape, but they needed someone that could control the reality, and Hyunjin was being trained for it – although he was frustrated with it - so they asked him to go unlocking worlds (or roads, or whatever) and he did it, but as farther he went, he started getting lost in the system bc he didn’t know who he was anymore, was he a clone already? What he’s seeing is reality or virtual reality? What’s the truth, what’s the answer?

Chan and Jeongin were able to guide Hyunjin throughout the MVs to continue with their plan, but Hyunjin’s mind was starting to lose itself, although he had a feeling that something seemed off… And Astronaut is nothing more than a recap of all what they’ve been through and Hyunjin’s journey to the unknown in order to find SKZ again and help them escape.

so what about that last scene with Jeongin? Well, I think the Jeongin in white clothes with them at the end is not the real Jeongin, and the Jeongin we see sitting alone is in fact the real one that is trapped inside the VR. Chan was guiding Hyunjin but lost Jeongin in the meantime and didn’t realize it or Chan knows it and is also a clone anything is possible, because to me the Jeongin we see in their MVs isn’t the real Jeongin since D9, like I said in the beginning of this analysis. Maybe the reason Seungmin and Minho were found on DK by the drone is bc Jeongin was with them and he’s part of the system? The others weren’t seen except for these three. I also believe this hypothesis because the gate in AS represents D9 and Jeongin is the only one moving after Hyunjin leaves, probably showing that the real one was lost in D9, but since there can’t be two “Jeongins” in a same place, he needs to wait for them to realize that they’re dealing with a fake one and come back for him.

alright, to summarize this huge analysis...

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED DIDN’T HAPPEN!! HYUNJIN WAS DECRYPTING AND TESTING THE REALITIES (IN THE VR THING) THEY HAVE TO FACE IN ORDER TO ESCAPE AND OVERTHROW THE SYSTEM AND NOW THAT HE’S FINISHED THE TRIALS HE’S BACK TO DISTRICT 9 AND CAN SHOW SKZ THE RIGHT PATHS TO FOLLOW BUT HE DIDN’T REALISE THAT THE REAL JEONGIN IS TRAPPED INSIDE THE VR AND HE LEFT HIM BEHIND AND NOW SKZ WILL HAVE TO GO BACK TO GET HIM OUT OMGGG I CANT ANYMORE

how else would we explain Hyunjin, Jeongin and Chan’s hairstyle looking almost the same as the one they had in D9?

some other thoughts I had: what if they’re duplicating themselves to leave the clones on the system so the real ones can escape?

ASTRONAUT also has 9 letters... this might mean something?

why is Chan singing all the time “I’m not me” in the background of Mirror? can he be trusted? I’m still not sure about Chan’s role in all of this bc he seems shady like Jeongin lol sorry Chan

from the Victory Song unveil track we have Chan saying this “we are Stray Kids, the owners of Clé. Roll the dice. Our beginning is District 9. We break the frame, escape from the system, and go beyond the fixed line towards STAY. We came to listen to Victory Song. So ring the 승전가”. Isn’t it weird that he says “break, escape, go” instead of “broke, escaped, went” ?? he only says “we came” bc the question is about their entrance in Miroh and Victory Song is after it, but if everything else also happens after D9, shouldn’t the other verbs be on the past tense too?

in Chronosaurus we see someone picking up three keys from the floor and I’m pretty sure it’s Jeongin.

one key for each – Chan, Hyunjin and him. But what can they do with the keys? I thought that maybe they could go spread themselves through the realities these keys unlock and place signs for them so they don’t get lost or forget about what they’re doing, like easter eggs? there are some black balloons on SE that reminded me of 19

in TMT there’s a billboard that Chan sees saying “do what you wanna do” (a message he left for himself there? and look at the background, it’s the space)

and what about Hyunjin? I’m not sure, but maybe the scene where we see him laying on the grass at the end of SE is actually because he just arrived in that reality and lost the key of that reality on that weird pond??? is the easter egg in SE himself??? I still think it’s weird the way Jeongin looks at him and smiles brightly in this scene lol

this is just what I was able to put together, but I still have a lot of questions and a lot of concerns, but unless Chan spills the tea I don’t care if it’s hot we’ll stay clueless about all of this lol

and he says we’re not clowns… right…

[dustofinsanity]

aesthetic tag ✨

rules: bold the aesthetics you relate to and add twenty of your own aesthetic qualities for others to bold

tagged by: The one and only!! The wonderful!! The amazing!! The talented and  incomparable PAPA!! Also known as @defgyus 💜

tagging: no one but, if you wanna do it, just say I tagged you.

soft

baby pink | iridescent | glitter is always a good option | no bra | minimalistic tattoos | cherry patterns | sweet scented perfumes | wearing generous amounts of blush | doodling hearts | getting excited to pet an animal | fun nails | rewatching old barbie movies | hair sticking to glossed lips | heart shaped sunglasses | taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise | stuffed animals | protecting nature | stickers everywhere | teen movies | the light rain that falls from a clear sky at the beginning of the night

dark academia

neutral tones | masculine outfits | studying languages | worn down copy of books | grey skies | turtleneck sweaters | loose fitting pants | hair tied with a silk ribbon | trying to remember a cool difficult word you read somewhere to use in a convo | thick belts | minimal makeup | windows fogged by rain | vintage jewelry | blouses with cuffed sleeves | reading a murder mystery and trying to solve it | oxford style shoes | sweater vests | subtitled old movies in a language you don’t speak | leaves crackling as you walk | annotating books to express your emotions about the story

edgy

closet full of dark clothes | fishnet tights | makeup sweating off | neon signs | searching for unknown songs | chokers | band tees | doodling on old converses | finding smoking aesthetically pleasing but not doing it | weird humor | accidentally very dramatic | dim lights | layered outfits | chain belts | chipped nail polish | messy hair | low quality pics | piercings | combat boots | scribbling on desks

seventies

colorful wardrobe | doodling flowers | wearing short shorts | using a bikini top or bra as a normal top | listening to ABBA | flowers in your hair | diy-ing everything | jamming to songs alone in your room | drunkenly telling your friends you love them | patterned bandanas | mid heeled shoes | messy braids | flared sleeves | walking barefoot on grass or sand | bold sunglasses | the good kind of tired you get after doing something you enjoy for hours | feeding stray animals | fun patterned socks | room decorated with succulents and other plants | likes to go roller skating or skateboarding

preppy casual

collared clothes | drinking juice out of a champagne glass | getting excited to see the met gala looks | thick headbands | small pastel cardigans | making your friends take your ootd pics | plaid mini skirts | tweed two pieces | watching reality tv to pass time | frilly tops | watching old hollywood movies | academically driven | long manicured nails | new year’s eve fireworks | colorful tights | layered golden jewelry | yearns for luxury brand items | decorating your room with fairy-lights | cursive and neat handwriting | lace details

cinanamon - steph

gold jewelry | slowdancing in the kitchen with a lover | sun on skin | red-tinted lip balm | lazy mornings | getting lost in foreign cities | scent of bakeries | high-waisted jeans | kissing someone’s neck | writing reminders on your wrist | sleeping in braids to have waves in the morning | growing an herb garden | gentle touches | sketches tucked between pages | flushed cheeks | tandem bikes, floating in a pool | vintage gold hand-mirror | deer grazing | softly singing while doing chores

jaesmintea - dia

oversized everything | painted nails | fairy lights | dozing off in the middle of class | tying hair up into a ponytail | round glasses | laughing so hard you can’t breathe | late night study sessions | tender hand holding | impromptu photoshoots | drowning in moondust | bathing in the light of the sunset | strawberry flavored lollipops | polaroid pictures | eagerly tugging someone down the street | handwritten love letters | smell of coffee | living with reckless abandon | crinkled pages of a journal | replaying the same part in a song over and over

naptimetea - helena

everything black | rewearing your favorite outfit | drawing late into the night | rewatching favorite shows | the bread isle | minty lip balm | falling asleep anywhere and everywhere | making green tea | useless questions when it’s 2 am | forehead kisses | sleeping in till the afternoon | love of pink | staying up to watch the sunrise | dancing in the bathroom | messy handwriting | pile of sketchbooks | talking for hours about interest | old sentimental stuff animals | hanging out on the bed and doing nothing | thick fluffy blankets

jeonginks

the thrill of leaning your body way over a balcony’s edge | the suffocating feeling when the strong wind blows down your lungs | tip-toeing barefoot | hair ruffling and cheek pinching | hugging a body pillow at night | facing the sky with closed eyes | the whimsical silence when it’s past midnight and you’re the only person awake | when you can physically feel your eyes soften when you look at someone | dancing alone with only an oversized shirt | when your sweater falls over your thighs as you stand up | humming scary but memorable lullabies | vivid imagination | w-sitting with a mini skirt and thigh high socks | heated laptop on your lap | cereal at 3 am | gliding your fingers across your thighs | bittersweet melancholy | withdrawn and distant eyes | very tight belts | wanting love but not believing in it | not cruel but not kind

scxrlettwxtches

listening to a song and remembering the times you used to listen to it on repeat | imagining yourself living in any other life than the one you have now | crop tops and high waisted jeans | forgetting to smile but not actually being upset | nuzzling your face in the crook of their neck | back hugs when you’re stressed | turning in assignments 1 minute before they’re due | wanting a relationship but getting scared the moment you’re in one | pretending that you don’t care when inside you’re burning with doubts and fears | the sound of the evening waves as you lie on the sand | lying in your bed listening to your sad playlist | exhaustion but you can’t sleep | singing loudly when you’re the only one home | feeling safe and comfortable with that person in your life | knee high suede black boots with your black winter coat | comfort over appearance | writing essays at 2 am | creative peak from 1 am to 4 am | the one that always ends up walking in the back of a friend group

hyunsracha - sav!

split-dye hair | female rappers | staying up until 6am and sleeping until 1pm | taking notes on an ipad | middle school emo music | mini skirts | late night drives | rain on the ocean | flirting with people when you’re bored | doc martens | eating ramen in the pot | afraid of being looked at | fishnets | getting joy out of making people laugh | small tattoos | crying yourself to sleep | peppermint everything | desperate for freedom | chipped black nail polish

lveletters

well-worn converse | ginger ice cream | farmers’ markets | amaretto in coffee | the sound of pen on paper | empty mountain trails | black and white photographs | vintage bicycles | roads trips with no destination | overfilled bookcases | a shoebox full of ticket stubs | granny smith apples | orange gerbera daisies | cardigan sweaters | games that tell a story | red wine in a mason jar | succulent gardens | tattoos of birds | fresh-baked muffins | a favorite pair of jeans

dnceracha - sydni

black chelsea boots | chapped lips | browline glasses | losing yourself in video games | impressionist art | pink peonies | writing down anything you need to remember | the smell of gasoline | business goth style | dangly earrings | florals | ballet flats | cuffed jeans | liking the villain | a stack of journals | generous amounts of highlighter | knives | rain on a tin roof | heavy footsteps | small-town diners

bamshine - sae

chunky black boots | not realizing you’ve been writing for hours | soft dog fur under your hand | the loud gathering of friends after an exhausting dance class | bubble tea | casual touches between friends | beach trips | airports late at night or early in the morning | coming home from travel and finally being in your own bed | leaves crunching under your foot | shopping for groceries with christmas music on the radio | loud family gatherings over a pizza | succulents | goofy singing and dancing with friends | getting so into a book you do nothing else all day except read | cool summer evenings around a bonfire | apple cider | the scent of vanilla | selfies with friends | the sting of a new tattoo

jjinyounf - cres

ocean breezes | moonlight/sunlight through clouds | sweatpants and baggy tees | empty journals | stud earrings | messy bedroom | thought-provoking movies | apple cinnamon | hot, but not sticky weather | chill big dogs | mixing flavoured vodka with ice cream | playing songs at full blast in the shower | quiet corners | the sound of bacon while it cooks | loud thoughts but quiet words | staying in bed until the absolute last second | mid-calf boots in the winter, flip flops in the summer, sneakers every other time | mental breakdowns doing anything academic-related | madras shawls | the colour combo of red, black, gold, and white

flowerbeom - kat

polaroids | saying hello to the moon | buying more books that you can read | lo-fi playlists to fill the emptiness | baking bread of saturdays | playing the same song over and over until you learn the lyrics/vocal runs perfectly | milk tea | booping your cat’s nose with your nose | keeping a stash of that one perfect pen | being the quiet listener in conversation but always has a great story to tell | sneakers over everything | watching the sunrise through cracked open blinds | leather and patchouli candles | freshly cooked rice | finding the perfect word to describe something | the crunch and squeak of walking on freshly fallen snow | writing “hello” on foggy windows | strolling through ancient forests and feeling small | kissed on bare shoulders | falling asleep to the sound of rain

focusgyeom - leena

wishes at 11:11 | leather jackets | hoop earrings | making playlists for friends | seasonal candles | bath bombs | pink drinks | late night drives | crystals | ripped jeans | starry nights & full moons | writing out your emotions instead of talking about them | loves the thought of being in love, but too scared to fall in love | black clothes | staying up till 3am writing | lip gloss | fall & winter | vampires books & shows | keeping a journal on you at all times | gel pens | sunflowers

defgyus - val

feeling at home in museums | color coordinating everything | feeling the warmth of the sun on your face | owning lots of stationery | aesthetic pinterest boards | period drama | coffee and tea are always a good idea | big windows overlooking a big city | neutral tones and muted pink | keeping a journal with your favorite quotes | fashion magazines | disney films | movie scores and lofi playlists | daydreaming in public transport | learning languages | laughing out loud watching comedy sketches | drawing on procreate | chunky sweaters and jeans | neck kisses | loving hard

defnabeom - nauan

shapped sunglasses | silver jewelry | the laugh of the people you love | this particular voice you could hear for hours | veins | ripped clothes | grungy style | cats lover | collecting everything | organized mess | cigarettes and a glass of whiskey | the feeling of being afraid to bother | old cartoons | spikes | men perfumes | noisy pictures | bucket hats | a simple touch of color in a black outfit | wine red eyeshadows and matte lipstick | the loner who needs love

[shadowsndaisies]

Perfect [s.s]

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: x Stiles Stilinski

WC: 3559

Synopsis: A songfic, based off of Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect”.

Warning: it’s cute, very cute and very fluffy.

I found a love for me

Darling just dive right in

And follow my lead

She was five when she moved to Beacon Hills. She moved in across the street from a home with a car that read "Sheriff" parked in the driveway. The people who lived in that home came out later to greet her and her family. She met the Sheriff, Noah, his wife, Claudia, and their son, a boy who preferred to go by Stiles. He seemed quirky even to another five year old, but he had this air of excitement that enticed the young girl like nothing before ever had.

Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet

Stiles Stilinski had limited experiences at the age of 5, yet he knew that the girl who moved in across the street was someone who was meant to be there. Stiles and the girl quickly became inseparable, the most mischievous duo in town, let alone their block. Nobody would know from first glance though, they would see a shy, anxious boy and the most caring little girl that they ever met. She was kind to each person she met, and that was something that stayed with her as she grew up. It was also something that carried the pair, strengthening their bond, and it was a special bond.

I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

When they were nine Stiles told her about his crush on their pretty strawberry blonde classmate, Lydia Martin, and she seemed happy for him. He'd been going through a tough time after losing his mom, but she was always there for him. It was strange because though he had a crush, the person who was in his mind the most was the girl from across the street. And while she may have smiled for him, her insides churned with an unknown feeling. What she did know, was that Stiles was important.

When she turned eleven she entered middle school, with Stiles and Scott, her best friends, by her side. She stuck with them, stuck with Stiles. Countless nights were spent in their households, in their yards. They would sit and watch the stars. Words weren’t always necessary despite how talkative the two could be. They would sit with the other and it was the most comfortable that the two had ever been.

When the girl turned twelve she began to understand why Stiles' crush on Lydia Martin bothered her. That unknown feeling was because she had a crush of her own, on the boy she had befriended years ago, the one who lived across the street.

'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Not knowing what it was

There's no real way to tell when they fell in love, though they realized it many years after the day they met. When they look back the only answer they can provide is that they were kids.  

Their parents always knew they would end up together, that was clear. The small jokes they made, the looks they gave, and the comments that were said. It was in their parent's hearts as it was in their own that they were meant to be together in the end.

I will not give you up this time

They were fifteen when Josh, a boy from their class, asked (y/n) out. And much to her best friends surprise, she agreed. That Friday night she went bowling with Josh, and Stiles couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned but couldn't figure out why. His mind wandered to his best friend and whether or not she was enjoying herself, his hand reaching out to call her multiple times, but retracting at the last second. He found himself looking out his window often, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, it was only when the light went on in the room that belonged to his best friend did he finally fall asleep. After that night his views of the girl began to change because she was all he could think about.

But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own

And in your eyes, you're holding mine

Time seemed to stop as a few months after her first date, (y/n) found herself at a party. She along with many of her classmates sat around in a circle. Her best friend had been different lately, distant and extra fidgity. When things with Josh didn’t work out she had planned on having him around to distract her and he was, just not in the way she had hoped.

Her eyes, like everyone sitting with her, were glued to the spinning glass bottle located in the middle of their circle. It had landed on her first and now she waiting to see who she would have to kiss. Her breath hitched as the bottle slowed to a stop in front of him. The one person she wanted to kiss and yet was afraid to.

Stiles shared a similar look of nervousness as she leaned towards him. His heart raced as he watched the girl who meant the world to him, approach. His palms were sweating and his fingers tapping at the tiled floor, nerves skyrocketing. But, as her lips touched his, all of his problems seemed to dissipate. His heart seemed to slow and synchronize with hers. In the few seconds that their lips had been connected, their hearts had opened and were visible to the other, more than they ever had before.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

It was the summer before sophomore year when they went camping with a bunch of other kids from school. As it got later and later, more and more kids were turning in. Soon it was just the two of them. They were staring up at the stars the way they always had, together.  There were no labels for what they were. All they knew was how they felt, and god did they feel. It was a full moon and the stars twinkled brightly above them, a small fire blazing off to their right.

They sat there stealing glances at each other, listening to the music coming from the speaker connected to Stiles' phone. As the song changed a smile came to her face as her favorite song began to play. Stiles shot up, nearly tripping over their previously discarded shoes before turning to stand in front of her, his cheeks pink.

"Dance with me," he breathed, holding out his hand.

He knew it was her favorite song, and well, she was his. She was the song he never wanted to forget, the only one he wanted to be stuck in his head. She was full of lyrics that belonged in sonnets, ballads and poems alike. She was beautiful and she was perfect.

The soft smile that graced her lips had Stiles swooning. She grabbed the hand he had offered as he pulled her to stand with him on the slightly damp grass.

When she looked up at him, she smiled again. His hands were a bit clammy and she could feel how fast his heart was racing but she felt like this was where she was meant to be.

When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath

But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

"You're beautiful, you know that right?" he asked, his voice tight as he made his nervous confession, eyes darting down to her for just a second.

"I'm dancing in sweats and a flannel, Stiles. I have no makeup on and my hair is in the messiest bun," she sighed looking down towards their feet.

His grip tightened, both around her waist and against her hand, forcing her to look into his eyes just to find them staring straight back at her.

"You look perfect," he whispered, barely audible, but she heard him. His words came out so true as if they were the most honest words he had ever spoken.

As she stared into his eyes she saw the very thing she dreamed of, she saw nothing but love. She offered a shy smile as a blush spread up her neck, over her cheeks and to the tips of her ears. No one had ever stared at her the way Stiles did. She decided to rest her head against his chest, bringing them closer than before.

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know

When they were sixteen, they were both pulled into the supernatural world, and they depended on the other to keep each other sane. She was also sixteen when her parents got a divorce. Placing more strain on the girl then she'd ever known, more then she knew how to handle. Often times at night these supernatural horrors haunted her dreams, spilling out in the form of tears and frustrated sleepless nights, during the day nobody would know, nobody could. She was human, but they never saw her as fragile, and she didn’t want them to. So, she’d smile, even if it wasn't real, she’d laugh but it was always forced. The only thing she had, was him. Stiles was the most real thing she had. Their love was the only thing holding her together. He was the only one picking up the pieces because he noticed every time another fell. He was the one who put her back together because he needed her just as much as she needed him.

She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home

It was rare that she slept peacefully. Dreaming dreams, instead of nightmares and terrible memories, but when she did, it was because of him. He'd hold her as exhaustion overtook her body. Play with her hair, rub her hands or draw patterns on any showing skin. He'd just have to be there and she'd be okay. She’d be okay because he had her, and there was no one who made her feel safe, who made her feel at home the way Stiles is. How does the saying go? Home is where the heart is. Stiles was her home, and he was her heart. She had found a place to relax with someone who would protect her with everything he had, someone who she would protect with just as much.

I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets

To carry love, to carry children of our own

Living in Beacon Hills was dangerous, that was obvious. The older they got and the more they saw… it all seemed to pull at each shred of humanity and sanity within them. They had found the only solution; they stuck together, through everything. The losses of people they loved, the attacks, the pain, even the loss of each other. Yet, somehow they always managed to find each other again. They were half of the other’s heart, a lifeline that they needed at all times, a connection so strong, so full of love that it was the only stable thing in their messed up lives.

He shared everything with her, his hopes of going into law enforcement, to be just like his dad. His dreams of the future, the pain of the past, and fears of today. He knew that it all was tentative to change, just like he knew he had her, that he always wanted to have her. The girl he met when he was five. She had been wearing a pretty dress when she moved in across the street with her parents. She had twirled around, running up and down the lawn, a gleeful smile on her lips. He saw her then as he sees her now, the most amazing woman in the world, the strongest one he knew. The girl he knew he wanted to be able to settle down with, to have kids with, and she wanted it too.

We are still kids, but we're so in love

Fighting against all odds

When they were eighteen, Theo Raeken came back into their lives with his terrible plan to rip them all apart. He pulled the pack apart piece by piece, her family, leaving a devastating emptiness. His attempts were fruitful in every aspect except for them. He failed in every attempt when it came to Stiles and (y/n). The love they held for each other was too strong, even for him. Nothing could pull the two of them apart. They were stronger together, and they would win together, just like they always had.

I know we'll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand

He held her hand one night as they watched Star Wars at his house for the millionth time, thoughts racing through his mind. He watched as she would mouth the words to her favorite lines and react to each and every scene. He watched her and he knew that no matter what, they'd be okay because they had each other.

"You know I love you right?" he whispered in her ear, suddenly.

She turned her head to look up at him with a look so full of love, "never doubted it," she smiled softly before pressing her lips to his her hand gripping his and their fingers intangling together.

Be my girl, I'll be your man

I see my future in your eyes

They had just graduated when he asked her, they were with the pack, a small get together before everyone left. Of course, the two of them would both be attending schools in Washington, a mere hour away from the other.

He watched as she hugged Liam and Mason when they gave her graduation gifts and he realized that this was it. His hand dug into his pocket where he grabbed ahold of a velvet box, inside was the ring that had once been on his mother's hand. It seemed so heavy in his pocket, so heavy in his hand, but a look at her and suddenly he had all the strength he needed.

It was a promise, he remembered his mother’s words from that day in the hospital. The day she had slipped it off her hand and into his palm.

"The girl for you will be perfect, and you never know, maybe she's right in front of you," She had said softly as his father stood watching from the door frame of the hospital room. She was right, the girl from him grew up across the street. That girl grew up to be his best friend and the only person in the world who could both take his breath away and give it back.

He opened the box and grabbed the ring before walking over to her. He tapped her shoulder and sunk down on one knee, the ring visible in his hands. Everyone quieted, staring at the couple. Eyes watered, gasps were heard but not from her.

"Yes," she said instantly, there was no hesitation, no fear, just love.

“I didn’t even ask,” he gave an awkward chuckle as he stared into her eyes.

“You don’t have to,” she promised, the most contagious smile breaking out across her face. Her eyes were misty as she stared at him because this was what she wanted. This was all she had ever wanted, he was, and he always would be.

Everyone knew she was right, that he didn’t have to ask. Because they all knew that her answer would always be yes. Whether it was today, tomorrow or four years from now, her answer would always be yes.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Cheers erupted from everyone watching, hoots, and hollers all full of love and glee. Scott and Lydia the loudest, there were tears in their eyes as they watched their best friends. The two had suffered so much, lost so much but had each other. The alpha and the banshee knew it was coming, Stiles needed her, and she needed him. This was the couple that everyone had been rooting for from the very beginning. The pair that met when they were kids, that grew up together, that grew up in love. She was his girl, and he was her man, now and forever.

(Y/n) pulled Stiles up and he instantly enveloped her in his arms. The music started and her song played, her favorite. He began swaying the two of them as she held onto him because they had each other.

"You know I love you right?" she asked the smile still on her face.

"Never doubted it," he smiled back looking at the ring that seemed to fit perfectly on her hand, before kissing the top of her head.

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful

They danced as their friends watched on, filming the emotional moment. He glanced down at her, taking in how absolutely stunning she was, the dress she was wearing seemed to highlight everything about her, a magnifying glass to show just how perfect she was. Her heels were off to the side, she had ditched them as soon as they had arrived and he had laughed because she was perfect. She was a vision of beauty, of heart, of love, and she was perfect.

I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

"Darling, you look perfect tonight," Stiles whispered in her ear as they swayed.

They were still in Scott's backyard as the thoughts raced through his mind. He was still reeling from asking her, his heart still beating incredibly fast. She had said yes, it shouldn’t have been shocking but it still surprised him. She was incredible and he wasn’t sure that he deserved her or her love. She deserved the universe on a silver platter, so much more than what he thought of himself, but she chose him, and he knew that he could never love someone the way he loves her.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

He was fiddling anxiously with his tie while his mind took him back to that first night when the two of them had danced under the stars. That night when they were sixteen and camping in the middle of the woods. Where she had been barefoot, wearing sweats and a flannel. Where he looked at her and saw the most beautiful creature in the world when he saw his world.

"C' mon man, breathe. This is (y/n), the girl you've been in love with since you were like five," Scott laughed fixing Stiles' tie for the fifth time in the past ten minutes.

Stiles was going to say something, probably something sarcastic, but his mouth went dry as the wedding march began to play. His body froze when the doors opened. Everyone stood up and Scott went back to his spot. Stiles’ eyes, like everyone else's, were trained on her and in an instant, all his nerves were gone. Just looking at her as she walked down the aisle, following her nieces who were throwing flower petals, he only felt his heart swell knowing that this was it, he was marrying her. He was marrying his best friend, his personal tether to the world, he was marrying the love of his life. And that was all he needed, she was.

I have faith in what I see

His breath hitched when she stopped in front of him. And she winked at him, a smiled of absolute adoration formed when he caught it. She always seemed to know exactly what to say or do to calm his nerves. When the Wedding Officiant began to speak the two of them couldn't hide their smiles or their absolute happiness as the ceremony officially began, because they did it, they had gotten the love of their lives.

Now I know I have met an angel in person

And she looks perfect

He would swear to anybody at any time that at that moment she never looked more like an angel. A stunningly gorgeous angel. Her dress was stunning and only seemed to compliment her beauty in the most amazing way. She had picked it with her bridesmaids; Lydia, Kira, and Malia, it fit her perfectly. The white gave a heavenly appeal causing her to look more angelic than ever and it was perfect.

I don't deserve this

As she gazed at the man standing in front of her, the love of her life. She tried to memorize each detail as he shared his vows. The only thing she could think about was how absolutely amazing he was, and how anybody who had him in their lives was incredibly lucky. That she was so incredibly lucky. Because she had gotten the guy, the one who loved her, even when she wasn’t sure what love was, the guy who had her back, always. She had gotten him and she was never going to let him go. What she didn't know is that he was thinking the same exact thing because she was the love of his life, his messed up, scary, werewolf filled life and she was all he wanted.

You look perfect tonight

[araliyaintheskywithdiamonds]

Be My Sidekick - A CrissColfer Fic

Summary: Early!CC consisting of silly, oblivious boys. 

For this prompt: OMGMG WRITE A FIC TO SIDEKICK FROM WALK THE MOON ASSFJKLSKSLALNSN PLEASEE LISTEN TO IT OMGMG IL LVOD U FOREVER AND EVER

Thank you for the song rec ahhhh! Hope you like it!

Word Count: 1547 AO3 

*Title and lyrics from Walk The Moon’s Sidekick. 

(I often wonder why the things that I want are so hard to find but-)

It’s midday and Darren’s at Chris’ trailer doorstep, lunch bagels and diet cokes in hand. The door is closed and the heat is sweltering, but just to be sure, Darren knocks. (Although Chris would have a million reasons to keep the door closed, he doesn’t really want to consider the one where someone else is in there with him.)

A cold (and irrational, completely irrational) flush of relief floods through him at Chris’ muffled voice, shouting, “You can come in!”

Darren pushes the handle down with his elbow, goods teetering in his hands like juggling balls, and tumbles into the trailer. He’s so focused on getting the food to the coffee table and not dropping anything that he completely misses Chris’ half naked body, radiating mirth on the other side of the trailer.

Well, almost completely misses. Darren looks up at the last moment to see Chris in a baggy grey t-shirt and apparently nothing else, eyeing him in amusement.

“I wasn’t dying of hunger, Dare,” he says, turning around to lay out a pair of terrifyingly skinny Kurt jeans. “You didn’t have to sprint.”

And Darren asks, “Are you wearing anything under that?”, because Chris is Chris, and in the short time they’ve known each other he’s never really worn anything that shows off his body too much, and Darren never thought he’d get to see so much of Chris’ smooth, pale skin in his life, and-

Chris quirks an eyebrow and lifts his shirt, revealing a pair of running shorts. Very short running shorts. “Um, yes?” he asks.

While Darren hasn’t known him long, he still knows him well, and right now there’s the slightest undercurrent of self-consciousness in his voice. Yet the only thing Darren is able to think is, fuck, and he must be imagining things because Chris’ eyes start to gleam a little. He pops open a diet coke and takes a long sip, holding his arm out to lick up a drop of condensation that’s dripped down his wrist.

The asshole actually seems to be basking in Darren’s momentary muteness.

Chris sets the can down, slowly and carefully and- how does anyone do something as unremarkable as drink soda and make it look like that? Darren forgets he hasn’t given Chris an answer until he picks up a pair of intimidatingly bondage-style suspenders, tossing them for him to catch.

“I’ll be needing help with these,” Chris says lightly, and Darren thinks, fuck.

***

(friendship up against the ropes)

Darren is… frustrating.

It’s not that he isn’t the sweetest, kindest, most infectiously happy person Chris has ever met, but he’s also-

frustrating.

He doesn’t want to perpetuate the stereotype of gay guy smitten with the hopelessly straight and utterly oblivious best friend, who sends messages so mixed it’s like sifting through sand, except there’s no hiding that it’s exactly what Chris is, and exactly what Darren does.

Chris would like to say his gaydar is accurate but it’s really not, and with Darren, he might as well be deaf and blind. If only the guy would stop touching so much; little brushes of fingertips down arms, a palm on his thigh as Darren leans over to talk to someone, grabby fingers playing with Chris’ hair like a child-

Actually, scratch that. Maybe Chris doesn’t mind that much. He thinks this right about the time Darren makes a shot for the basketball hoop, rising up on the balls of his feet, shirt riding up just enough and baring the slightest sliver of skin-

Yep, Chris is that cliche.

“Could you love him?”

It’s Diana from beside him, smiling softly.

“Darren and I aren’t a thing, Di.”

He realises too late what he’s said; Diana’s smile has gone from knowing to smug.

“I never said his name,” she says, holding her hands up in surrender. On the court, Harry grapples for the ball, tossing it to Heather who makes a graceful swoop for the basket, ball tumbling through the net in the effortless way only Heather can manage. Darren spots them at the deck chairs and waves, smiling brightly.

Chris groans, sliding his sunglasses down over his eyes, and Diana cackles.

***

(the one I need could be right by my side)

There’s a reason Darren doesn’t drink around Chris. His tongue is loose enough sober that it would be near disastrous with a couple of shots down, and god knows how Chris would react.

He won’t know any time soon though, Darren thinks peevishly, since there’s another guy out there with Chris, putting his hands all over him like he’s entitled to it- like he owns him.

“If looks could kill,” comes a voice from next to him, “they’d both spontaneously combust.”

It’s Kevin, sipping his drink, arm wrapped around his boyfriend as they watch the night unfold in amused interest.

“Just the one,” Darren replies blackly, chasing down the rest of his glass and shuddering a little.

“Woah,” Kevin says, following Darren’s eyeline to the platter of shots coming their way. He watches warily as Darren takes one, and then two. “Slow down, dude. I don’t think the way to impress Chris would be to throw up on his date.”

“That’s not his date,” Darren declares through gritted teeth. At least, he’s not is he? Chris hasn’t told him yet, and Chris tells Darren everything.

He expects Kevin to look unconvinced, but he’s not- instead he’s smiling at the olive in his drink.

“What?” Darren asks, tossing back another shot. This time it goes down easier, and now Darren’s not so sure whether or not it’s a good thing.

“Nothing,” Kevin says, sharing a glance with his boyfriend, who rolls his eyes exasperatedly. He’s Spanish and doesn’t say much, but when he does communicate, it’s through distracting hand gestures and emphatic eye movements. Darren envies them, just a little.

Darren looks back to the dance floor to see that Taller-Than-Five-Foot-Eight-McMuscle-Man appears to have vacated the premises, with Chris flushed and alone in the middle of the throng of bodies.

“Go get ‘im,” says Kevin.

“Tonto del culo,” says his boyfriend.

Darren takes a breath and weaves his way through the people on the dance floor. Now that he’s moving, everything is bright and blurred around the edges, and Chris soon comes into his vision. He looks surprised to see him.

“Hey!” Chris says, over the thumping bass. “I was expecting you to be James.”

“James?” Darren asks, although he’s pretty fucking sure he knows who James is.

Chris points to Taller-Than-Five-Foot-Eight standing at the bar, very obviously flirting with the bartender.

“He’s flirting with the bartender,” Darren states.

“It’s James,” replies Chris, “he flirts with anything that breathes.”

Darren is suddenly reminded why he’s there. “Will you dance with me?”

Chris eyes him beadily. “You want to dance with me.”

“That’s what I said?”

Another song comes on, some 2007 Nelly Furtado, and there are whoops as more people join the floor. Darren finds himself pressed up close to Chris, so close that he can see the shadow of his reflection in his pupils.

“Okay,” Chris agrees, smiling slightly. Darren hopes it’s an I’m agreeing because I’m into you smile and not an I’m agreeing with you because you’re drunk and also a sad idiot smile.

“What are you thinking about?” asks Chris, close to his ear. He’s slung his arms around Darren’s neck, loose and as easy as breathing. Darren holds tighter onto Chris’ waist.

“Nothing.”

Chris raises one perfect eyebrow. It’s another moment where Darren realises how polar they are: Chris is all smooth surfaces polished alabaster-fine, while Darren is rough around the edges like splintering wood.

“I just-” Darren tries again, and Chris’ eyes soften. Overhead, Nelly sings, you could mean everything to me, and Darren could laugh with the irony of it all, except he’s sort of mesmerised by the aquamarine blue of Chris’ irises.

Which are now so close, Darren could count his eyelashes.

He hears, “you’re a fucking idiot, Darren Criss,” before soft lips are on his, pressing close and drawing the breath from his lungs. Darren’s hand reaches up to card through Chris’ hair and Chris’ hand cups his jaw, and he can’t tell whether the drumming in his ears is the beat of the music or steady tattoo of his heart- pounding Chris Chris Chris.

At some indiscernible point, the music fades and cheers rise up at the intro of the next song, and they part dazedly. There’s a second of silence between them before they hear a very loud, heavily accented “fucking finally” from the bar. Chris and Darren look to see Kevin snorting into his drink, while the Spanish Boyfriend vigorously gestures at the two of them in an unmistakable keep going motion.

They turn back to each other, and suddenly he and Chris are laughing deliriously, tears gathering at the corners of their eyes. Chris clutches Darren and wheezes, and Darren can do nothing but relish the feeling of his body under his hands and the weight of his arms looped tight around his shoulders.

And then they wipe their eyes and steady their legs and lose their breaths once more.

(why don’t you stay at mine tonight?)

[behind-the-screen-of-bangtan]

Little details in “IDOL” MV

← Back to LOVE YOURSELF 結 ‘Answer’

Release date: 24 August 2018

Teaser

Episode of the MV Shooting

Other versions: dance practice, version featuring Nicki Minaj

BTS 'IDOL' MV reaction

Lyrics

Doolsetbangtan’s translation and notes

Colette Balmain’s article: “The end of the journey: desire, recognition and redemption in BTS’s “IDOL””

DKDKTV’s explanation

Naver Starcast article (part 1, part 2) (archive 1, archive 2)

Posts from MU:E the art directors (@nomaaaaaaaad and @bona._.b): #1, #2, #3

Outfits and accessories: the hanboks were made by Baek Oak-soo, list from @GetOnSwag, RM’s belt buckle

Bangtan Bombs filmed on the set:

Drawing from 'IDOL' MV

Playing with Glasses

’방탄도령단’ Theater of situations

Exciting Reaction Shooting

Dance Battle during ‘IDOL’ MV shoot

Idol (noun):

1. An image or representation of a god used as an object of worship. 2. A person or thing that is greatly admired, loved, or revered.                                                                            (Oxford Dictionaries)

"IDOL” is a “South African dance song, mixing African beats with the rhythm and rejoiners of Korean traditional music, trap groove rap propped up by EDM source” (src, trans).

Plan of the post:

Cultural references

Korean

African

Around the world

Pop culture

Parallels with previous works

Little things

Version featuring Nicki Minaj

Cultural references

A lot of the MV elements are borrowed from different cultures around the world. You’ll see that not everyone interpreted them the same way though.

1. Korean culture

As mentioned in the description of the track, the music features Korean traditional music called samul nori. Wisha made a thread about it to explain the music, the singing, and the dancing. Big Hit also added a note in the description of the teaser to indicate from where comes the Korean traditional instruments sound.

But that’s far from being the only element from the boys’ culture.

There’s also a reference to the yangban, a social class of intellectuals from the Joseon dynasty (1392-1897). The hanbok they’re wearing and the hat some of them have - called gat - are the traditional outfit of the yangban. Jungkook’s cough at the end of the teaser also reminds of the way yangban would cough instead of talking (src).

@kimbyungkwans made a post about the references to Korean culture in the teaser and added a few things about the yangban if you’re interested. In her post, you also have a word about the fact the background of these scenes is inspired by traditional Korean paintings.

The structure could be a giwajip (cr.), a house associated with the upper class (src), or a Gyeonghoeru pavilion where entertainment was held (cr.). You can see “happiness” and “blessing” written on it. It was originally used to refer to a married couple but now it’s more associated with harmony, like the yin and yang (cr.).

The animals also have a heavy significance. Tigers are very present in the Korean culture and the white tiger is a sacred creature (src). There’s a myth about a rabbit, the daltokki, living on the moon and pounding mochi. This myth comes from people seeing a rabbit shape on the face of the moon (src).

In the scene with Suga, Jungkook, and later Jimin, the ribbons above their heads remind of the seonangdang (cr: x, x, x), a religious place where a decorated tree was dedicated to a protective deity called Seonangshin (src).

Several things reference traditional dance. The costume made of strips could be in tribute to the bukcheong saja (cr.), the fans remind of buchaechum (cr.) and the boys’ jump, called 자반뒤집기 (flipping salted fish (while grilling)) (cr.), is from pungmul (cr.).

바이스톰 By Storm made an excellent video on Youtube for the 2018 MMA performance that explained the dances and some more cultural elements, including things from the MV.

The costumes were made by BALKO. They just described them as “Special Monster”.

If you were already a K-pop fan in 2014, you may have seen pungmul dancers and a lion from the Bukcheong Saja in ToppDogg’s “Arario”.

Lastly, there are two occurrences of the word “love”. Behind Jimin and V as the hanja 愛 (ai) (thanks kimbyungkwans for the translation).

And the hangul 사랑 (sarang) behind Jungkook (src).

2. African culture

Like before, the music includes African beats but it doesn’t stop here.

The giraffes appearing here and there usually live in Africa.

For hangseokie on Twitter, the strip costume is a reference to Maracatu a “folkloric dance of Afro-Brazilian origin, typical of the state of Pernambuco.” For SerenaScarlet on Reddit, it’s rather creations from African American sculptor Nick Cave and called “Soundsuit”.

 Actually, if you search a bit, this type of costume appears in several cultures but until now I haven’t found one matching perfectly with what we see in the video. Now considering the theme, the Bukcheong Saja mentioned in the previous part is most likely the intended reference; they have the right shape and they’re just missing masks in the MV.

MIKI_BTStheory also see Afro Dance in the choreography.

3. Around the world

Since we’re invited to travel with the little three-master and the globe, let’s check where we can go.

There are the South Korean and the African cultures of course.

Then we have strong Bollywood vibes (cr. x, x, x) from this scene, be it the group dance or the architecture:

There’s also a fake camel in the background of another set. They live in both North Africa and Asia (src).

We also have an undersea decor during the Vmin solo.

Among the furniture behind V, you can see a little golden Buddha. Buddhism is an Indian religion very practiced in East Asia. There’s also a Chinese symbol on the lamp on the left and leopard motif on the chair next to it. Leopards live in Africa and Asia.

It’s not visible in the picture above but there are also butterflies on a horse’s head behind V (they’re visible in the version with Nicki Minaj). Butterflies appeared a few times before already.

It’s subtle but through all these little things we’re traveling between South Korea and Africa~

If South America feels left out, don’t worry!! You’re the one shown on the globe❤️

3. Pop culture

There’s a little hint of pop culture with the Snow White and Bugs Bunny appearing on Suga’s and J-Hope’s pull-over, as well as with the little Pink Panther plushie.

Parallels with previous works

Several people noticed how some scenes (cr. x, x, x) and some moves (cr.) looked like elements from past BTS MVs.

Some also noticed answers from the boys to past critics they received, as individuals (cr. x, x, x) and as a k-pop group (cr. x, x).

Little things

Jin’s, Suga’s, Jimin’s, and Jungkook’s drawings can be seen very briefly.  The story of those drawings can be seen in a Bangtan BOMB, Drawing from 'IDOL' MV (Eng subs).

The frame around the last three pictures is made of CCTV and hands reminding of the S concept photo.

Fun fact: during Bon Voyage Season 2 in Hawai, the boys did shark cage diving (episode 6).

Was that not enough Bangtan? Then let’s count the little Bangtan!

11 V

10 Jimin

7 Jin and Jungkook

6 Suga, J-Hope, and RM

Funnily, it's the ranking of the most hyperactive, isn’t it? (Well, they’re all hyperactive but you see what I mean.)

You can see the recording of this scene in the BOMB “Dance Battle during ‘IDOL’ MV shoot”.

Hymint1107 on Twitter noticed that during J-Hope’s part, the boys strike the pose of famous superheroes, namely: Hulk, Wolverine (Suga explained during a Vlive (at 17:25) that his pose was actually from Black Panther), Spiderman, Anpanman, Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor.

Version featuring Nicki Minaj

The video was released on the 7th September, exactly two weeks after the first version. It’s basically the same video with different choices of shots here and there - most of the time it’s a close-up of a member. kooktamin97 on Twitter made a compilation of the different parts and u/trashure on Reddit made a split-screen comparison.

One notable thing is that they changed the boys’ drawings. There’s a new one from Jungkook and Hoseok’s was added - “Hope world” is the name of his mixtape and of his studio.

As for Nicki Minaj’s part, she’s on the set that already appeared behind V in the first version and that we can finally see fully. She’s holding Jimin’s fan - Jin had it in the teaser - and you can already see her smartphone at her feet. Concerning the text appearing behind her, it’s her lyrics written in Korean. She was the one coming up with this idea.

There are red-crowned cranes on the yellow pillows next to her. Cranes are very present in Asian cultures and they’re a symbol of longevity and peace in Korea.

There’s an extension to the video to show some participants of the #IdolChallenge that was first started by South African ARMY, and made even more popular with J-Hope’s entry.

[kindofchaoticgood]

Walk on Water

A celebration story for my surprise four day weekend, wherein Uma and Harry are music stars on tour together who do the relationship tag. Enjoy! (Lyrics from Beyoncé and Eminem’s new song ‘Walk on Water’ and Eminem’s song, ‘Hi, My Name Is’)

There are snatches of music dancing around in Uma’s head, but every time she tries to play them out, they sound wrong. She tries another simple phrase on the keyboard, but a note clanks too sharp.

“Motherfucker!” She growls, slamming her hands down on the keys, which make a dismally discordant noise.

“Leave poor Artemis alone,” Harry chides, stepping into the room. His hair is fluffing all over the place, a result of towel-drying after his shower. “It’s not her fault you can’t do it right.”

Uma shoots a glare at him that makes grown men cower but only makes him laugh. “Shut up.”

“No,” Harry grins and sits down next to her on the bench. “What’s wrong?”

She gives him a suspicious look to assess the seriousness of his question and then says grudgingly, “I can’t get this phrase down. It’s playing out perfectly in my head, but every time I try to play it out on here it sounds wrong.”

“Play it for me,”

Uma places her hands on the keyboard and starts playing, adding her voice to the piano chords. “I walk on water, but I ain’t no Jesus. I walk on water, but only when it freezes.”

She tries to play the next phrase, but she only manages to get through two notes before another damn false note rings out that makes even Harry wince. “Goddamn it!” she shouts, resisting the urge to bang her head on the keyboard. What is it with this fucking phrase?

“Hey,” Harry wraps his arm around her shoulder and draws her closer to him. “You’ll get it, okay?”

Uma just sighs and places her head on his shoulder. He smells like sandalwood, detergent, and something that’s purely Harry, and she curls further into his neck, lured in by his warmth.

“Come on darling,” Harry pulls back slightly from her to look her in the eye, a hint of a grin on his face. “Say it,”

“I’m not saying it.”

“Say it.”

Uma looks at him sternly, trying to maintain her stance. There’s a full-out grin on Harry’s face now, but seriousness in his eyes. It’s one of these things that he does with her, the constant encouragement and praise. She has always been self-deprecating to the point of putting herself down, and it’s a habit that Harry is slowly trying to train her out of. Uma doubts that she will ever be fully rid of the habit, but she loves Harry for trying.

“I’ll get it,” she says, and he smiles at her, not the usual smirk that’s always present around his mouth, not the rakish grin that makes his fans weak at the knees, but a real smile, the kind that makes his blue eyes sparkle like the ocean in the morning and makes his face softer. She loves that smile, and seeing it always makes something warm come to life in her chest.

“See, was that so hard?” Harry leans in and kisses her cheek, and she smiles despite herself and places her head back on his shoulder. She can work on the song another time. For now, she needs to take a nap. 

“Love?” Harry murmurs into her hair.

“Hmm?”

“You aren’t falling asleep, are you?”

“I was planning to,” she mumbles back, burrowing into his neck. God, he’s always so much warmer than me. How is this fair?

“Well, you can’t.”

“And why not?”

“Do you remember when you were really tired after doing a concert and an interview right afterwards and I asked you to do a live video with me next week? And you said ‘I’ll do anything you want as long as you let me sleep’ so that live video is today,”

Uma’s eyes snap open and she pushes her head off of Harry. “WHAT?”

“Love you, bye!” Harry launches himself off of the piano bench as Uma tries to grab him and runs away.

“Harry James! Get back here right now, or I’m never having sex with you again!”

*****

“I don’t even remember agreeing to this,” Uma complains as Gil sets up the tripod in front of the sofa. Harry is already lounging on top of it, looking unfairly good-looking, as usual. “Why can’t you do this on your own?”

“Because we polled the fans on Twitter, and they said they wanted us to do the relationship tag for our next video,” Harry says, glancing up at her from his phone.

Uma frowns. “What the fuck is a relationship tag?”

“No idea,” Harry admits, running a hand through his hair. “But they’re going to be the ones sending us questions, so we’ll figure it out.”

Gil gives her a reassuring grin. “It’ll be okay Uma. Desiree and Harriet are gonna be going through the questions as they come, and you know they won’t let anything too bad slip through.”

That much was true. Harriet loved embarrassing Harry, but she was protective as fuck over her brother and Desiree was more like Uma’s mother than her cousin.

“I still have my performance makeup on,” Uma protests in a last-ditch effort to save herself.

Harry casts a glance over her hot-pink lipstick, turquoise eyeliner, and gold contour and smirks at her. “You look hot,” he says simply, moving over on the sofa so that there’s room for Uma.

She groans and stalks over to the sofa, throwing herself down on it and fiddling with a stray black and turquoise curl sulkily as Gil and Harry begin arguing about the position of the tripod.

Harry is the one who uses social media. He constantly posts on Instagram, updates his Snapchat story religiously, and uses Twitter like a lifeline, whereas Uma usually only posts on her Instagram once in a blue moon and only uses her Twitter to post sarcastic comments.

It was only after she started collaborating with Harry that she even got an Instagram; before that, all she had was the Twitter account and a secret Tumblr. To be fair though, there were a lot of things she hadn’t had before Harry.

She still remembers the first time they met; her verse in Khushal Nanzari’s (or, as his fans knew him, Gonzo) new song and the new single she had just released were taking off, and Harry and his band were invited to a celebration party Gonzo was hosting to celebrate the release of his third album. She had been sipping Cristal in a ridiculously tiny glass in an expensive metallic dress when Harry Hook, lead singer in Skullduggery Road, had walked up to her and said, “Your verse in Gonzo’s song was the most lyrically complicated thing I’ve ever heard, and you made my dragon of a big sister tear up with your voice in ‘Rise Up’. In short, you’re bloody amazing and can we collab on something?”

Uma had agreed before she even fully processed what she was agreeing to, because this was the lead singer of one of her favorite bands, how could she say no? They had exchanged numbers and Uma had completely forgotten that she had his number until he texted her the next day I’m also pretty okay at dancing if you need more reasons to work with me ;) and Uma had laughed out loud and set to work writing a song. Within a week, she had the song written and before she knew it, ‘What’s My Name’ featuring Harry Hook had been on Billboards Top 100 for four weeks straight and Harry was asking her out.

And now, they were going on their second tour together and had been together for two years. (Damn, has she really been stuck with him for that long?)

As if sensing her thoughts, Harry leans over and gently bites her shoulder through her oversized hoodie. She ruffles his hair absently, and gives him a small smirk to show him she’s already gotten over her complaints.

“And we’re going live in three … two … one,” Gil calls out, and then starts recording.

“Hey, I’m Uma Triskelion,” Harry says immediately.

“And I’m Harry Hook,” Uma adds, leaning against the sofa.

“We’re live in our tour bus, and we just finished off a performance in the Rabbit Hole – hence Uma’s unique makeup look.”

“Thanks love,” Uma mutters and Gil snickers. Harry just grins before continuing.

“So you lot have been begging us to do the relationship tag, whatever that is, so if you want to ask us a question, tweet us at #AskHumaLive –”

Uma makes a face. “What the hell is Huma?”

“That’s our ship name,”

“What? Since when?”

“Since forever, since we started dating, remember that?” Harry teases. “Or is your memory fading?”

“Who came up with that?” Uma demands, slightly creeped out. From behind the tripod, Gil is silently laughing, and she discreetly flips him off.

“The fans, baby, always the fans,” Harry replies distractedly, scrolling through his phone. “Ah, we already have our first question! AaliahWitch says ‘Uma, when is Harry’s birthday?’”

“June 14th,” Uma replies easily, and then studies her phone. “ChanceDaring12 says ‘What’s Uma’s middle name?’”

“Astraea,” Harry says immediately. “BurrShotFirst176 says ‘Where does Harry’s family come from?’” “England, but you grew up in Scotland.” Uma smirks at the disappointed look on his face. “HarrysHook – nice name, by the way – wants to know if you can name all of my cousins.” “Jonas,” Harry was starting to count off on his fingers. “Desiree. Harmonia. Piper. Poppy—” His face went blank. “Shit.” Gil snickers and Uma grins at the camera. “Second question, and he’s already choking,” she says smugly. “I’m not choking!” Harry protests. “I know that I’m missing four of them – wait, one of them is Madrigal!”

“She hates that name,”

“Madi, then!” “Three more to go,” Uma mocks him. “My cousins are going to be so sad when they realize you don’t know their names; they love you, you know.” “Jesus Christ,” Harry groans, and throws himself dramatically into her lap. Her phone vibrates with a message from Desiree and she laughs evilly as she reads it. “Desiree says that the girls are watching right now, and that they’re really sad that you don’t know their names,” Uma informs him gleefully, then turns to the camera. “It’s okay babies, I still know all your names,” she says with a sweet smile and a wave. “I’m sorry, okay?” Harry says, his voice muffled from under his hands. “I’m an absolute monster but I really need help.” “Hmm,” Uma grins. “What does the Internet think? Do you think I should give him a hint?” Harry turns over to the camera and gives it his best pout. “Please help me, Interwebs, you have no idea how many cousins she has.”

When she glances down at her phone, most of the tweets are in favor of her giving him a hint, and the conversation thread is full of people wondering why she has so many cousins. “Their names start with L, A, and T,” she says, smoothing out his hair.

Harry considers this. “That actually doesn't help at all. D’you have any idea how many girls names start with those letters?”

“They’re all related to music,” she points out offhandedly, snickering when Desiree sends her a picture of the girls making sad faces at the camera.

“I think that made things more confusing, to be honest,” Harry confesses. “I give up,”

“Lyrica, Allegra, and Talea,” Uma smirks down at him.

“Bloody hell!” Harry complains, then addresses the camera as he sits up. “Lyrica, Allegra, Talea, I’m dreadfully sorry I forgot your names darlings. I’ll take you out for ice cream the next time I see you, alright?”

Just then his phone buzzes and Harry stares down at it for a second before saying out loud, “Screw you, Harriet!”

“What did she say?”

“Something about how you need to spray whipped cream on my face. Utter nonsense.”

“Actually,” Gil pipes up, a shit-eating grin on his face, “it’s common custom in the relationship tag that if the person gets a question wrong, then whipped cream gets sprayed on to a plate and then the plate is smashed on their face at the very end.”

“How the hell do you know this?” Harry demands as Uma laughs. “I like this game,” she says smugly.

“We don't have any whipped cream though,” Harry protests, looking desperate.

Gil reaches behind him and pulls out a can of whipped cream. “Actually . . .”

“You bitch,” Harry growls as Uma bursts out laughing.

“Language, baby, what kind of message will this send to the Internet?”

“That he's a backstabbing traitor,” Harry declares as Gil and Uma laugh at him. “Gil Charbonneau cancelled, Marya Rasputin is my new best friend.”

“You wish,” Uma retorts. “Gil, hand me the whipped cream.”

“Sweet Jesus,” Harry groans as Gil hands her the whipped cream and a paper plate and she gleefully makes three large mountains on the plate. “I can't get any of the other ones wrong now.”

She grins. “It's my turn, isn't it?”

“Yeah . . . LittleSeaWitch wants to know where our first date was?”

“The aquarium. You kept on making up weird backstories for all the animals, and we nearly had to leave because you kept on interrupting the tour guide and telling the little kids that the nurse sharks had clinical depression.”

Harry grins smugly at the memory. “That was a good day.”

“Can't take him anywhere,” Uma tells the camera. “HumaLives wants to know what my eye color is.” She averts her eyes from him and then covers them for extra measure.

“Brown,” Harry says instantly.

“How do you even know that?” Gil demands. “Most people get that wrong,”

Harry shrugs. “She has beautiful eyes.”

Uma is intensely grateful that no one can see her blush as Gil lets out a sappy 'Awww’ and Harry kisses her cheek.

“Next question,” she says quickly, before she can start giggling hysterically, like she always does when she's nervous or embarrassed.

“Atlantic_Melody asks, 'What is Harry's favorite book?’”

“Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. QueenAudreyTheFirst wants to know what movie makes me cry every single time,” she glances up from her phone. “None of them. I don't cry during movies.”

“Bullshit,” Harry says smugly, then does a terrible job of cupping his mouth and whispering, “The Book Thief.”

Uma jabs an elbow into his side and Harry laughs. “Come on darling, don't hate me because it's true,”

“Get out,” she tells him, but he and Gil just smirk at each other over the camera.

“Leader_of_Marching_Band_Nerds asks ‘What does Harry eat for breakfast?’”

“The souls of the innocent,” Uma deadpans. “No, this one doesn't eat breakfast.”

“All my life I was very deprived,” Harry starts rapping. “I ain't had a woman in years, my palms are too hairy to hide-”

“His sister dropped him on his head as a baby,” Uma tells the camera. “WarriorPrincessLonnie wants to know who the dominant one in our relationship is.”

“Oh, me, obviously,” Harry flexes and winks at the camera.

“Funny, that's not what you said last night,” Uma says without thinking, and then starts laughing at the look of utter disbelief and incredulity that Harry's giving her.

Meanwhile, Gil has dropped to the floor, laughing so hard that his face is turning red. “Yes, Uma, drag him,” he chokes out, before dissolving into laughter again.

“I cannot believe you just said that,” Harry says slowly, a smile starting to come over his face as well. “Do you realize what you’ve just unleashed?”

“I ain't afraid of no ghosts,” Uma quips. Her phone is blowing up with messages from her friends; Ashe, Sierra, and Marya are making dirty jokes and Claudine is begging them to stop.

“Plain-Jane-the-Queen wants to know what my shoe size is.”

Uma freezes. Shit. “Well, wizards and witches, that's all the time we have for today-”

“Now hold on just one damn second!” Harry protests as Gil cracks up again.

*****

Later on, after all of the whipped cream has been washed off, and they're curled together on the couch, Uma gently pokes Harry in the shoulder. “Hey.”

“What?” Harry mumbles sleepily into her hair, the sound reverberating through her chest. It's completely dark outside, and the moon is streaming through the windows of the trailer, leaving white light trailing on the carpet.

“I think I figured out the song,” she tells him, lacing their fingers together.

“Really?” His other hand is underneath her hoodie, lazily stroking her hip.

“It's going to be a rap song,” Uma says, and feels Harry shift to a more seated position to look her in the eye. “I was thinking we could collab on it?” She glances up at him. “Is that alright with you?”

Harry is giving her the most awestruck look she's ever seen, the same one he gives her every time she sings for him. “Of course, it's alright love,” he reassures, leaning in to kiss her. “I always want to collab with you.”

[glasyasbutch]

playlist: tov #1

link to playlist (on spotify)

1. Rio by MIKA

It doesn’t mean I’m not a fighter, it’s just that I wanna be a little lighter, spent so long fixing things I’ve done / I’ve got holes in all my pockets, even those holes they’ve got pockets, hiding things that’ll never see the sun

ASSIGNED MIKA KIN SONG! It’s . very hard to pick out one set of standout lyrics. This entire thing is just him. It’s about trying to run away from yourself because you don’t like who you are, which is, uh, his thing. There’s a lot of hope in here, though, and Tov does have hope (especially now with the Gauntlet and Savra). 

I especially like the bit “maybe in ten years time, you’ll recieve a letter from some random guy” because that gives me wanting to reconnect with Rax vibes and “I roll thirteen on a pair of dice” because hee hee hoo hoo dungeon dragon dice game.

2. Modern Day Cain by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

This is the sin that I will confess to release myself from consequence, and everyone can tell

I think its really fucking funny to have this particular title on here, given that he did accidentally almost murder his brother or whatever. Overall, though, this song is sort of about Tov’s decision to get fucked up by the Shadowfell in order to stop being magic-less, and how it probably was not a good or healthy decision.

3. Wyrd by Glass Animals

You can’t run so you must hide, you won’t make it back this time / I sold our rope for a bucket of lemon peel, now suck it / So my friend our time is done, you and I could’ve had so much / With ropes for the bucket of luscious black gold nuggets

This is ambience for actually being in the Shadowfell cause its fucked up bad vibes!!!!! If this was a movie, the first chorus would be what Bad Rax says to Tov to egg him into attacking, and last what Good Rax says to Tov as he gets back on the boat to go home alone. Also fun fact! I choreographed a dance to this song a few years ago! (It was designed to draw attention to rising teen suicide rates)

4. Chains by Radical Face

We were thick as thieves / Til I became the one / Who always went too far / And I couldn’t hear you

And I’m glad you were my friend / Yeah I’m glad you were my friend / Though I may never see you again

Song for a brother who’s sailed home without you because you’re no longer family.

5. Blood On My Name by The Brothers Bright

Not a spell gonna be broken by a potion or a priest / When you’re cursed you’re always hopin’ that a prophet would be grieved / Oh Lazarus, how did your debts get paid

Welcome to dark country town, this playlist kickstarted my mild obsession with the genre. This is sort of Tov’s thoughts in the initial aftermath of his parting with Rax, that carried with him for years and years and years. He, too, wonders how he can ever repay Rax for the harm he caused. 

It talks about how it’s not a spell that can be removed, and in fact, the D&D lore says he will never get rid of the bit of Shadowfell in him because it sort of just replaced his humanity. Oopsie! (Also it says hell hound in there and Tov gets one as his 6th level class feature :3)

6. I’m a Wanted Man by Royal Deluxe

You should never ever trust my kind / I’m a wanted man, I got blood on my hands / Do you understand? I’m a wanted man

This is for the self-hate that took over from Tov. He does feel himself on the run, from his past, from his hometown, from any place where there’s too many people he could hurt. People who offer him absolution don’t understand how deep he’s gone, and people who offer him trust are setting themselves up to be hurt. That’s the message running through his head, as much as he hates it. The bridge in the middle is his lament of acceptance that he is Bad Now and he just has to live with it.

7. Howl by Florence & The Machine

A man whose pure of heart and says his prayers at night may still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright / If you could only see the beast you’ve made of me, I held it in but now it seems you’ve set it running free

He’s evil now!!!!!!!!! Evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He can try to be good but he has badness in him and now its out!!!!!!!! Part One of emo animal imagery time.

8. Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace

Somebody get me through this nightmare, I can’t control myself / So what if you can see the darkest side of me, no one will ever change this animal I have become

This one’s more bloodlusty, as the Shadowfell grows stronger and stronger inside him. Part Two of emo animal imagery time.

9. The Wolf by SIAMES

I’m out of my head, and my heart, and my mind 

This is more internal monologue - y, Tov raging that he’s losing control of himself and unable to stop what he’s becoming. Part Three of emo animal imagery time.

10. Soda by Nothing But Thieves

I don’t wanna be myself, it’s makin’ me so unwell / I don’t wanna be myself, just wanna by someone else

It’s going from anger to sadness now, just a deep sadness for who he’s become because he really does hate it but he doesn’t know what to do about it. 

11. Sorry by Nothing But Thieves

Maybe I’m defective, or maybe I’m dumb / I’m sorry, so sorry for what I’ve done

The second song by the same artist in a row, I really couldn’t pick because they’re both very him songs. This is about his deepest moment, in which he decided he was sick of falling and wanted to fix things, even if he didn’t know how. I also find the beginning of the song to be about his hesitance to believe in love when he first meets Savra. 

12. even if by Lewis Watson

Even if I apologize I know there’s still a hill to climb and I know, that I will never quite convince you

The theoretical things he’d say if he ever got to go home.

13. North by Sleeping at Last

Smaller than dust on this map lies the greatest thing we have / A place in which our roots may grow, and the right to call it home

There is not much that a man like Tovroth Senxcec has the right to desire. But drink, food, and a home, to share with those who have managed to love him? It’s simple enough that he can dare to dream for such a gift. 

Cry about it.

[enthralleddd0112]

[170815] Some Consolidated Kyungsoo-related Fan Accounts from The War Public Fansign in Busan

@Minkkung_0326

Kyungsoo is really too nice. As it is my first time attending a fansign, I was stuttering a lot. At the end, I thanked him for becoming a member of EXO, thanked him for becoming a singer, and he was smiling brightly at that. Kyungsoo-ah, shall we go to Sapporo together?

[Kyungsoo wrote “shall we go Sapporo?” ‘Shall we go Sapporo?’ is from the travel prose by Lee Byeongryul’s <The Winds Blow, I Like You>. The book is about love and travel. ‘Shall we go Sapporo?’ also means ‘I Love You’.]

@a_little_moon

Kyungsoo said that he's no longer doing pilates.

@Ungaengung_

OP: Oppa, if you were to describe today using a scent, what would it be Kyungsoo: A warm scent. This answer is so Kyungsoo. When addressing me on the autograph, he even used the "-nim" salution. 

[Note: "-nim" in Korean is a more formal level of language.]

@hello_apriler

Kyungsoo always adds a -nim. He did that at the last fansign so I asked him to write noona instead, so he went “Ah! Noona~” and write “_ noona [OP’s name]!” The exclamation point is too cute. What pretty handwriting ( ◠♡◠ )

@xiu_99

Kyungsoo drew Huchu for me.

@hjyoung32342

The first time I got Kyungsoo’s signature! As soon as I got to Kyungsoo, I got on one knee, held out a bouquet, and asked him to marry me. Kyungsoo asked “Did you ask us to marry?” with his uncontrolled haha laugh. The message is something I asked him to write! It was really nice... I asked him to draw a heart on his photocard. The ring I gave him. 

[OP requested Kyungsoo to write “love you, my girl!”]

@bloom2832

I asked Kyungsoo to write down his favourite lyrics. He thought for a long time before writing it down. Besides that, he so expectedly addressed me with "-nim" (in his autograph).

[The lyrics that Kyungsoo wrote is from the song <Forever>, "your gaze, words and everything, forever!"]

@bloom2832

I told Baekhyun, “please sing <What Is Love> with Kyungsoo oppa again!” And he said he wants to sing it again too if there‘s a chance.

@ejoo_s2

(I) Asked Kyungsoo if he's practising tap dance and he shared that he's been doing so diligently. I told him that I'm looking forward to it and asked him to be careful and not hurt his feet. Even until the point that I was moving on (to the next member), he kept saying thank you. I could go crazy just being so excited. Kyungsoo had wrote "the moon tonight is so bight and clear..."

@92__CHEN

OP: Next time if you film movie again, what genre do you want to do Kyungsoo: Anything. Anything... Yes, Kyungsoo will be good at anything.

@tur8s

Kyungsoo's nim, can you see? This "-nim" is so Kyungsoo's style...I bought my <My Annoying Brother> photocard for Kyungsoo to write something, so he wrote "Dongsaeng (Younger Brother) ♥ Hyung (Elder Brother)" before breaking into a heart-shaped smile (◉♡◉)...cute...

@myeon_0512

Me: Oppa, which country do you want to visit beside New York for travelling Kyungsoo: Hm... Japan. Me: Also, oppa, your fingers is getting prettier (looked at his own fingers and laughed). Kyungsoo: (kept laughing, kept shaking head) Me: How did you take care of it? Kyungsoo: (kept laughing while shaking his head) It’s not like that~ The security kept asking me to leave. Finally.. Me: Oppa, I love you so much!

@florialunamjexo

Kyungsoo kept looking at everyone that came up the stairs tenderly. OP: Oppa, it's my birthday tomorrow. Kyungsoo: Ah, it's today? OP: No, it's tomorrow. Kyungsoo: Ah, hh, happy birthday. OP: Would it possible to give me a finger heart? Until the very end, he kept looking at me tenderly, and he bashfully gave his finger heart. I received both Kyungsoo's heart-shaped smile and his finger heart.

@exo120408998

Me: Oppa, please suggest a name for a white dog. Kyungsoo: Salt (his hahah laugh) If I ever get a dog, it’ll be named Salt!

[OP requested for Kyungsoo to write “who's this lady that's endlessly beautiful?”]

@ExoExo1092

Kyungsoo had written ㅇㅇㅇ -nim, told him that I only managed to tell him that he's handsome during the last fansign, and I also only managed to tell him he's handsome today. He disagreed by saying "no" and smiled just like a child. 

@yeol_spring

Me: (take out a gift) This is a gift! Kyungsoo: Thank you. Me: Oppa, please suggest something for dinner! Kyungsoo: Hmm? Me: For dinner! Kyungsoo: For dinner? hm... Busan.. Me: Yes! Kyungsoo: Busan is famous for its Daegutang (Codfish Soup), isn’t it? Me: Daegutang? Kyungsoo: Yes, please eat that!

Words on the post-in: Q. What role would you like to take? 1. Criminal 2. Police 3. Witness 4. Accomplice 5. Passerby [Kyungsoo chose passerby.]

@hotxiu

I asked Kyungsoo to tell me “fighting!” because I was studying art and he wrote “work hard on your art and become really cool!” I’ll promise to become cool

@cuhyuk

Me: Is there anything you always eat when you’re in to Busan? Kyungsoo: Umm... it’s Jeonbok-juk (Abalone Porridge). Me: Where??? Kyungsoo: There.. a shop next to where Busan International Film Festival is held. Now... somebody please tell me the name of this place.

@v_quoong_v

Kyungsoo's face is really small, I want to pry into his eyes, nose, lips, his voice is so nice too. I told him that my mood is good today so I'll want to drink alcohol, and asked him to choose between Gopchang-jeongol (Beef Tripes Hot Pot) vs Dalg-galbi (Chicken Ribs) to go along with the alcohol. He replied saying that if to drink, it's definitely Gopchang-jeongol. 

@CHeN_9921

As Kyungsoo was the first member, I didn't manage to speak much to him. I told him that my mum likes him more than me, and will keep rooting for him. He said thank you while smiling. 

@Master_Gao_

”Kyungsoo is really an angel, the comic that baby didn’t manage to finish reading, he took and kept it. Just thinking about how he repeated his own Chinese name a few times is cute enough to make me feel faint. This time, Kyungsoo gifted me with two black hearts, a sun and an unknown (?) wavy curve hhhhh [Actually what Kyungsoo drew is ♥ε♥ emoticon.]

Conversation between my friend and me: Friend: I gave it to him, he went “ah, this one”, and the staff actually say “you cant...” and Kyungsoo actually held it down and said [presumably to fan but for Security hyung to hear], “I may not be able to finish reading, do you mind giving it to me?” Friend: This is clearer. Friend: (He) Drew a sun. Friend: I’m not sure why. Me: Hahahahahah.. Me: Did you tell him that’s the characters of his Chinese name? Friend: Underneath his name. Friend: I don’t know what he’s drawing. Friend: Yeah, he repeated it a few times. Me: Cute TAT Friend: (Kyungsoo) Asked what that was. Friend: I replied, “did you forget, that penguin.” Friend: “Previously you mentioned that you like peach [out of all his nicknames] so XXX [OP’s name] drew the penguin inside the peach.” Friend: He replied, “ah, so that’s why, cute.” Friend: So I said, “so please express your feelings.” Friend: “Please write something.” Security hyung then said, “(he) already wrote something on the album.” Friend: “This cannot.” Friend: So Kyungsoo drew something instead. Friend: He had asked, “will a ♥ do?”

@marymond0408

“Can I follow up with you after this? Let’s go on an autumn date! [after summer date]” Kyungsoo: Lets also have a winter date, and a spring date. Let’s do it all of them.

@01055708083

Kyungsoo: (with his bright smile) Hello~ your name is _ [OP’s name]! Me: Hello, please come to Busan often! (literal heart attack at eye contact) Kyungsoo: I’d like to come here often…
 Me: I watched <Kamome Diner> because you suggested it and really enjoyed it~
 Kyungsoo: Isn’t <Kamome Diner> really good? (his eyes are sparkling with the film topic)
 Me: I really had fun watching it. Could you suggest another movie?
 Kyungsoo: Um.. have you watched <Megane> [by the same director]?
 Me: (it was loud so it was hard to hear) Huh?? Mega what??? Kyungsoo: Me! Ga! Ne! Glasses in Japanese (eyes get round). Please watch <Megane>!

Cr: The War Fansign, sources as quoted above (2017.08.15) Chi Trans: weibo @都暻秀吧_DohkyungsooBar, @Nacho_都暻秀资源博 Eng Trans: twitter @serenadyo, @kyeongsew, @reyeolie, @enthralleddd, tumblr @fydk-translations​ Fan Account Consolidation & In partnership with: IG @channel930112