#also the interview is linked in the first line of text

[moose-beam]

I am not emotionally prepared for Saturday.

Anyways

Based on Linke's statements, it seems like Caitlyn's (loss of) optimism, positivity, and hope will be a source of conflict between her and Vi, especially since he brings up "hope" in relation to Caitlyn twice. (Interestingly, later in the interview, he brings up Jinx and hope--possible parallel between Jinx and Caitlyn?) If the (loss of) hope and optimism does appear in Act I, particularly as a source of conflict between characters, I think it's likely that the thread of hope and optimism (re)appears in Acts II and III. For Caitlyn, will there be a moment where hope, optimism, and positivity are rekindled? What might that moment be? Linke points out that, while Caitlyn is a "hopeful beacon," Vi starts their relationship as a somewhat cynical person. Will there be a reversal in attitudes between Caitlyn and Vi? Will Vi come out of her spiral as the hopeful beacon, while Caitlyn adopts a more cynical worldview?

[euphorajeon]

'make it right' with jk for the 1k celebration pleeeaaaasssseeee 🫶

light of the morning

— request: jeongguk + make it right - bts

— pairing: jk x f. reader

— genre: fluff, angst

— word count: 2.7k

— warnings/tags: idol!jk, college student!oc, mild angst, they're best friends, insecurities and self-doubt thoughts.

— summary: in the eternal night that seems endless, jeongguk finds his peace in the light of the morning.

— author's note: hi anon! thanks for requesting :) summary is obviously inspired by the lyrics of make it right, which i used as the general inspiration for the story. i hope it doesn't stray too far from what you had in mind, hehe. enjoy!

a continuation of opposite of sun. i suggest to read that first before reading this!

masterlist

‘Jeongguk Takes Over Times Square With a Surprise Performance’

‘Massive Crowd Gathers In Times Square for a Jeongguk Surprise Performance’

‘Jeongguk Surprises Times Square Crowd With a Free Concert’

It’s been a day since Jeongguk’s surprise performance at Times Square, and the media headlines praising his performance just keep flooding in. In the articles, there were no flaws in his performance. Impeccable. Perfect. The media especially highlighted the way his fans only got a 30-minute notice before the performance, yet they were able to fill up the streets of Times Square. They were loud, singing along to his songs word for word, and Jeongguk is so proud.

The praises didn’t only come from online articles, they also came from the radio hosts and interviewers who were lined up in Jeongguk’s schedule today. It’s refreshing to answer questions outside of the usual ‘What’s your favorite food to eat in the US?’ and about his surprise performance instead. Jeongguk is grateful that his manager, Namjoon, scheduled these interviews after the performance instead of before it.

“Do I have any more interviews for today?” Jeongguk asks Namjoon, peeking at the clock on his phone. It’s only a little after seven in the evening. He knows it’s a silly question to ask, already knowing the answer by the look on Namjoon’s face.

“You have two more, actually,” Namjoon answers regardless. “Plus taping for two songs for one of them. I thought you knew this already?”

“Uh, yeah, just making sure.” Jeongguk clears his throat, eyes still on his phone.

“You’ve been checking your phone a lot today. Something wrong?” Namjoon inquires, a worried look replacing the duh one he had on his face earlier.

“No. Everything’s okay.”

Yes, something is very wrong.

It’s been more than a day since he video-called you, a little over a day since his performance at Times Square, and little less than a day since he texted you the YouTube link of said performance. In that time frame, his phone is completely void of any notification from you. No texts, no calls, even no tweets or an Instagram DM. You’ve been totally silent and it’s starting to get on his nerves. Why are you leaving him in the dark?

“You sure? You look like you want to punch someone.”

What he wants is praise from you! No, he doesn’t want it, he needs it. All the flowery words from the media and radio hosts mean nothing if he hasn’t heard one from you. Ever since he started his singing career, your opinion has always been one of the first ones he seeks. Without it, he’s lost. Left wondering whether his performance deserved the accolades, or they were only for his pretty face.

“Jeongguk, we’re here. Put a mask on and smile. You can worry about your best friend later,” Namjoon says the moment the car comes to a stop in the parking lot of a building somewhere in New York. Jeongguk looks at him as he’s getting off the vehicle, confused. His manager throws him a small smile. “Don’t look like that, it’s kinda obvious you’re thinking about her.”

“I haven’t heard from her since yesterday, hyung,” Jeongguk sighs. “I have the right to be worried.”

“You’re not the only one with stuff to do, you know? Maybe she’s busy too. I’m sure she’s fine,” Namjoon tries to reassure him. “Give her a call after this, to ease your mind.”

Namjoon is right. You’re probably busy juggling midterms and your part-time job back home. The chasm he felt yesterday opens back up, gaping to remind him that you two are worlds apart. Superstar Jeongguk who replies to texts in seven business days has no right demanding a reply from a regular college student after only one day.

Two more interviews. Two more songs to perform. Then he can hear your voice, see your face, and everything is going to be okay again.

Jeongguk finishes his schedule for the day a little after 1 AM. He tries to call you in the car, on the way back to his hotel. No answer. Tries again when he reaches his hotel room. Then tries again after he showered and changed into comfortable clothes to sleep in.

Ten missed calls.

Jeongguk goes to sleep with a dark cloud in his mind, completely restless.

In the morning, when the sun is already up—the way the moon is in Seoul, where you are—Jeongguk cracks his eyes open to stare at the ceiling in his room, his heart still heavy with worry. Also heavy is his head when he sits up on his huge hotel bed, likely due to his tossing and turning in his sleep all night. It doesn’t help that his lockscreen is still void of notifications labeled with your name. You’ve been MIA for almost two full days. Where are you?

He sends seven more bubbles in your chatroom, a sigh slipping past his lips when the tiny word under the blue bubble only reads delivered. He’s on his last thread of hope when he clicks on your contact picture to video call you, and that thread snaps when all he’s staring at on the screen is his own puffy and tired face.

Maybe he should order some breakfast. Get something to munch on, pry his mind away from the thought of you and what you’re up to in a country far, far away from where he is. He hopes you’re okay. He hopes you aced that midterm you were up until three to study for (although you spent the good part of the last hour talking to him on FaceTime). He hopes you’re eating well and not some instant cup ramyeon or shitty take-out from the Chinese place by your apartment that you frequent because it’s cheap.

After skimming through the room service menu, Jeongguk places an order of breakfast enough to feed five people. (What? He needs his energy. And a distraction.) The kind hotel staff who took his order informed him that his food will be ready in around 20 minutes. Good. Plenty of time to track his schedule for today and not think about you. (So much for a distraction.)

As it turns out, his itinerary for today is not packed with work schedule. Namjoon had only written ‘Explore’ along with a note to bring the camera noona who usually follows Jeongguk around to film all of his adventures as an idol. Said “adventure” is typically limited to dressing rooms of music shows, though. Oh, maybe Namjoon wants him to stroll around the city and make a vlog out of it, give his fans a little peek of what he does in his down time in New York.

In order to do that, he has to shower, get dressed, and maybe get his makeup done. He definitely needs to get his hair done, though, there’s no way he’s going out with this bird nest atop his head. Or maybe he could go natural, let his hair breathe for the day. Namjoon said it makes him look like a college boyfriend, and apparently, his fans love the look. Throw some hoodie and jeans on, and Jeongguk would be ready to go to class with you.

Ah, you again.

His mindless scrolling on Twitter in procrastination halts, the words on his phone not registering as his mind goes back to you. What would it feel like to go to class with you? To watch your focused face in class, trying to absorb knowledge from the professor? To be there next to you, answer your question whenever you struggle to grasp a concept? To be your college boy—

A knock on his door interrupts his thoughts.

Jeongguk stills, waits for the shout of room service! to follow, but it never comes. The clock on his phone tells him it’s only been 10 minutes since he ordered breakfast, so maybe it’s not room service after all. Maybe it’s a staff member, coming to tell him to get ready for the day.

As Jeongguk makes his way to the door, come some more knocks, this time more tentative than the one prior. Before he could reach the door, the person on the other side speaks.

“Jeongguk..?” It sounds muffled by the door, but the voice rings familiar in his ears. It’s the voice he last heard almost two days ago, via a video call connection between New York and Seoul. Could it be? No, it couldn’t … right?

Jeongguk’s eyes are right in front of the peephole just as the voice sounds again: “It’s me, Bun…”

There, in front of his hotel door, stands a girl 15 centimeters shorter than him, dressed in black jeans and her favorite sage green sweater, with a lump of black fabric hanging off her left arm. A faded black baseball cap sits on her head, so faded it looks almost navy. When she finally looks up to peek at the peephole, Jeongguk loses his breath.

It’s you. It’s really you.

Jeongguk is so stunned that he’s frozen in place, just staring at your confused expression that slowly morphs into one of anxiety.

“Did Namjoon give me the wrong room number..?” you mumble, fishing your phone out of your pocket.

Jeongguk has never yanked a door open that hard in his life.

You tear your eyes away from your phone, jumping in surprise at the sudden movement. His eyes lock with yours, and the shock on your face melts into a smile.

“Hi!”

You’re obviously exhausted, having just got off a 14-hour flight from Seoul, moving 13 timezones backward, seeing the sun when you’re supposed to see the moon. But the way you beam at him is full of glee, your eyes bright despite the obvious fatigue. Jeongguk is mesmerized.

Wordlessly, he reaches for your shoulders to pull you into a hug. They feel more prominent than the last time he hugged you, and he doesn’t know whether it’s from your haphazard eating schedule or just … time. He doesn’t remember when he last gave you a hug. Doesn’t remember the last time he saw you in the flesh like this.

“You just woke up, didn’t you?” you say from somewhere near his collarbone.

“Maybe,” Jeongguk mumbles. “Maybe not. I feel like I’m still dreaming.”

“Up in the clouds, are we?” you chuckle. “Well, if you’re done dreaming then maybe we could come in? Backpack’s starting to hurt my shoulders.”

It’s right at that second that Jeongguk just realizes the huge backpack hanging off your small frame. The poor bag is bursting at the seams, like it’s gonna comically explode if you even try to unzip it. Jeongguk closes his fingers around the small handle on top, testing the weight.

“Did you fit your whole life into this? Why is it so heavy?” he complains, immediately untangling your arms from his body so he can slide the backpack off you and onto him instead. “I feel like I’m about to do the 20 kilometers march in the military.”

“Hah! Try navigating JFK with that on your shoulders. It’s way harder than the military,” you huff, following Jeongguk into his hotel room.

He sets your backpack down on one of the couches, turning around to get answers to a thousand questions in his head, but pauses when he sees you’re still standing by the door. Your eyes are scanning the room slowly, stopping at Jeongguk to look at him with an unreadable expression on your face.

“What?” Jeongguk says.

“It’s huge,” you say. “The room, I mean. They usually are in your vlogs, but it’s different seeing it in person.”

This could turn into another conversation about their differences quickly, but Jeongguk is not in the mood to deal with distance today. For once, you’re an arms-length away from him. He doesn’t want to fuck this up and send you back to KST, 13 timezones away.

“Eh, I think your backpack is bigger.” He shrugs. Safe route, for now. “What do you have inside that bag, really?”

“My brick ass laptop, thank you,” you say sarcastically, finally going deeper into the room just to give your backpack a protective hug. “Still have a midterm to finish and submit here.”

“You still have midterms and you’re here in New York?” Jeongguk gapes. “Why?”

“Because you asked me to be here,” you state like it’s obvious. “Well, not like that, but you looked so sad on our last video call that I booked a flight here as soon as we hung up the call. Didn’t really realize the weight of it until I was watching your performance with Yeseo and I blurted out that I bought a ticket to New York and how maybe it was a stupid thing to do on a whim like that. She looked at me like I was stupid and said I should totally go. So. Here I am.”

If selective hearing is a sin, then Jeongguk would be guilty because he heard nothing beyond the part where you said you were watching his performance.

“You watched my performance?” He parrots his thoughts. “But you said you would have been asleep…”

“No sleep is worth my best friend’s sadness.” You throw him a small smile. “Actually, Yeseo set an alarm for it. And then I went to have the midterm with a terrible headache because I didn’t get enough sleep. But it’s worth it, the performance was amazing. You did great on that stage.”

“I did great…?”

At this point, Jeon Jeongguk should change his name to Parrot Jeongguk, because all he ever does is just repeat things he heard. First his thoughts, now you.

“Yes, of course you did great, Jeongguk. Wasn’t it obvious, the way your fans were screaming their lungs out for you?”

I only wanted to hear it from you, Jeongguk thinks. The media headlines and praises from the radio hosts and interviewers flash in his mind, all positive feedback for his performance, yet still planted a seed of doubt in his mind. It caused an ugly darkness to settle in his mind, one that worsened with every call you didn’t pick up.

“Why’d you ghost me, then?”

Way to ruin this moment, Jeon Jeongguk.

“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry. Between catching up on sleep and rushing for the flight, I just didn’t have the time to look at my phone at all. Also, I was on the plane? It takes a long time to get here from Korea if you didn’t know.”

“So it’s not because my performance is bad?”

You get up from your position on the couch to grip him on the shoulders, your nails digging into the material of his t-shirt. You have to strain your neck to be able to look him in the eyes, but you hold his gaze firmly like the position doesn’t hurt you at all.

“Jeon Jeongguk, listen to me. Your performance was great, you looked handsome, your singing was on-point, your high note was awesome, your dancing was super cool, and the crowd was really loud. I don’t know what kind of validation you seek, but I personally think everything about your performance was perfect.”

Yours. I only want your validation.

Slowly, the darkness in his mind begins to disperse, replaced by this warm beam of light piercing through the clouds. It settles in his mind like a blanket, protecting him from any more bad thoughts. He thinks it’s because of you, bringing light wherever you go. Can that light be shared with him? Will he glow from the inside out if he connects his lips with yours? Why does he want to lock lips with you?

“Jeongguk, are you okay? You look like you’re floating in the clouds again.”

Yeah. No. I want to press my lips against yours. Can I?

Three knocks sound from the door. And then: room service!

Jeongguk clears his throat (and his mind along with it.)

“Do you want to explore New York with me after we have breakfast?”

Jeongguk might want more, and he might be ready to admit it. After all, the light to his darkness is here. If not now, then when?

“Sure, it’ll be a fun best friend adventure!”

…maybe some other time.

a/n: thank you for reading! i'm planning to have a part 3 of this but let's see if i can actually find the time to write it ahah

[submalevolentgrace]

Question about hand prostheses; would it be more worthwhile to get them if the character had lost BOTH hands, or would it still be easier to just learn to do stuff with their feet/mouth/whatever? Does how far up the arm the severing point is make a difference to whether it's worth it, like a wrist is relatively easy to do things with but a shoulder is not? (Also, I recommend Sigdi Thundershield from Order of the Stick as a character who doesn't use an arm prosthetic and manages just fine without.)

i get that there's no way for any one asker to know how often i get asks like this, and probably 2/3rds of the time i don't even answer them, but when i do i like to try and mix up my responses based on what i can glean from the way the question was asked. if we're going to call ourselves writers, let's engage with the text given. so here's what i've got this time:

i have already written out my opinions on the topic of upper limb prostheses in fiction. it's long, carefully and purposefully constructed to deliver all the information and emotion i think possible and necessary... short of sitting down one on one for hours at a time of interview style back and forth to really dig down into it. you've ostensibly read it - that writing, my pinned post - because you're responding to it and had to metaphorically step around it to get to my ask box. and yet... i'd say in it, i overtly expresses 3 major themes; the first two of which already answer your questions, and the third of which should hopefully have inspired you to not need to ask them at all.

so based on that, and how you constructed your question, from my perspective i reckon there's one of two possibilities going on here:

1) you've already written/conceptualised a character with one or more cool robot arms, and you're unwilling to do the introspection or self-editing to change that and 'let go of them', so you're looking for loopholes and where exactly the line is drawn. you want permission that it's okay from that tumblr blog linked on those 'how to write disabled characters' lists. why not just accept responsibility as an author, and change your character? or...

2) you want to write a character that has a robot arm or two because it lets you score Disability Representation Points with your audience for including a Disabled™ character, but like, not in any awkward or difficult way that including someone actually disabled would, like a real amputee or someone in a wheelchair or blind-without-magic or whatever. why not just write a disabled character, with a disability you understand?

neither one of these explanations for your ask reflects on you particularly well as a crafter of fiction, so hopefully i'm just being a pretentious judgemental bitch and you composed this after only half skimming my writing while barely awake, or some fourth other option that makes you look better.

but then again, in response to an essay where i laid out my feelings on medical abuse in pursuit of normativity and and a society that treats me as barely human because of the shape of my limbs, you suggested to me a character whose backstory seems to be 'trauma porn for easy pathos', from a webcomic that, in my time at least, was famous for jokes like 'a lead sheet blocks detect evil so you can't prove he's a psychopath' and 'the gang tries increasingly insane ways to spy on the genitals of their gender ambiguous companion'.

which is to say, i'm fucking tired of self-described writers apparently not really thinking about anything they're writing; in their work, in their joyful suggestions, or in their clumsy asks to a clearly hurt individual on an obviously sensitive topic.

[whencyclopedia]

Sioux Warrior Rain-in-the-Face (Eastman's Biography)

Rain-in-the-Face (Ite Omagazu, l. c. 1835-1905) was a Lakota Sioux warrior and war chief during Red Cloud's War (1866-1868) and at the Battle of the Little Bighorn (1876), after which he became famous as the man who killed Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer, his brother Capt. Thomas Custer, or both of them.

How Rain-in-the-Face first became identified as Custer's killer is unclear, but the claim was popularized by the poem The Revenge of Rain-in-the-Face by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow – the bestselling American poet of his age – published in Keramos and Other Poems (1878). Although modern-day writers cite the poem as claiming Rain-in-the-Face killed Thomas Custer, it seems clear "White Chief with yellow hair" (line 9 of the poem) alludes to George Custer, and it is George's heart, not Thomas's, that Rain-in-the-Face rides off with at the end of the piece.

Rain-in-the-Face is best known today from two accounts of his life and the part he played at the Battle of the Little Bighorn – the 1894 report given by American journalist W. Kent Thomas based on an "interview" given at Coney Island, and the 1905 biography by the Sioux author and physician Charles A. Eastman (also known as Ohiyesa, l. 1858-1939) – which contradict each other.

In the Thomas interview, Rain-in-the-Face claims he killed Thomas Custer, cut out his heart, and spat part of it in his face at Little Bighorn as revenge for being unjustly arrested by Capt. Custer in 1874. In Eastman's account, he denies killing either of the brothers and, further, describes the Battle of Little Bighorn as so chaotic no one could have known who they had killed for certain.

As the W. Kent Thomas interview was given after the journalist got Rain-in-the-Face drunk, for the express purpose of getting the "real story" on Custer's death, while Eastman's account is a respectful transcript of the old warrior's life story, the latter is usually understood as more historically accurate.

Text

The following is taken from Eastman's Indian Heroes and Great Chieftains (1916), the 1939 edition, republished in 2016. It has been edited in the interests of space, but the full account will be found below in the External Links section.

The noted Sioux warrior, Rain-in-the-Face, whose name once carried terror to every part of the frontier, died at his home on the Standing Rock reserve in North Dakota on September 14, 1905. About two months before his death, I went to see him for the last time, where he lay upon the bed of sickness from which he never rose again, and drew from him his life-history.

It had been my experience that you cannot induce an Indian to tell a story, or even his own name, by asking him directly.

"Friend," I said, "even if a man is on a hot trail, he stops for a smoke! In the good old days, before the charge there was a smoke. At home, by the fireside, when the old men were asked to tell their brave deeds, again the pipe was passed. So come, let us smoke now to the memory of the old days!"

He took of my tobacco and filled his long pipe, and we smoked. Then I told an old mirthful story to get him in the humor of relating his own history.

The old man lay upon an iron bedstead, covered by a red blanket, in a corner of the little log cabin. He was all alone that day; only an old dog lay silent and watchful at his master's feet.

Finally, he looked up and said with a pleasant smile:

"True, friend; it is the old custom to retrace one's trail before leaving it forever! I know that I am at the door of the spirit home.

"I was born near the forks of the Cheyenne River, about seventy years ago…When I was a boy, I loved to fight," he continued. "In all our boyish games I had the name of being hard to handle, and I took much pride in the fact.

"I was about ten years old when we encountered a band of Cheyenne. They were on friendly terms with us, but we boys always indulged in sham fights on such occasions, and this time I got in an honest fight with a Cheyenne boy older than I. I got the best of the boy, but he hit me hard in the face several times, and my face was all spattered with blood and streaked where the paint had been washed away. The Sioux boys whooped and yelled:

"‘His enemy is down, and his face is spattered as if with rain! Rain-in-the-Face! His name shall be Rain-in-the-Face!'

"Afterwards, when I was a young man, we went on a warpath against the Gros Ventres. We stole some of their horses but were overtaken and had to abandon the horses and fight for our lives. I had wished my face to represent the sun when partly covered with darkness, so I painted it half black, half red. We fought all day in the rain, and my face was partly washed and streaked with red and black: so again, I was christened Rain-in-the-Face. We considered it an honorable name.

"I had been on many warpaths, but was not especially successful until about the time the Sioux began to fight with the white man…

"Some , Crow King, and others.

"This was the plan decided upon after many councils. The main war party lay in ambush, and a few of the bravest young men were appointed to attack the woodchoppers who were cutting logs to complete the building of the fort. We were told not to kill these men, but to chase them into the fort and retreat slowly, defying the white men; and if the soldiers should follow, we were to lead them into the ambush. They took our bait exactly as we had hoped! It was a matter of a very few minutes, for every soldier lay dead in a shorter time than it takes to annihilate a small herd of buffalo.

"This attack was hastened because most of the Sioux on the Missouri River and eastward had begun to talk of suing for peace. But even this did not stop the peace movement. The very next year a treaty was signed at Fort Rice, Dakota Territory, by nearly all the Sioux chiefs, in which it was agreed on the part of the Great Father in Washington that all the country north of the Republican River in Nebraska, including the Black Hills and the Big Horn Mountains, was to be always Sioux country, and no white man should intrude upon it without our permission. Even with this agreement Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse were not satisfied, and they would not sign…

"It was when the white men found the yellow metal in our country, and came in great numbers, driving away our game, that we took up arms against them for the last time. I must say here that the chiefs who were loudest for war were among the first to submit and accept reservation life. Spotted Tail was a great warrior, yet he was one of the first to yield, because he was promised by the Chief Soldiers that they would make him chief of all the Sioux. Ugh! He would have stayed with Sitting Bull to the last had it not been for his ambition.

"About this time, we young warriors began to watch the trails of the white men into the Black Hills, and when we saw a wagon coming, we would hide at the crossing and kill them all without much trouble. We did this to discourage the whites from coming into our country without our permission…

"There were a few Indians who were liars, and never on the warpath, playing ‘good Indian' with the Indian agents and the war chiefs at the forts. Some of this faithless set betrayed me and told more than I ever did. I was seized and taken to the fort near Bismarck, North Dakota of the Long-Haired War Chief and imprisoned there. These same lying Indians, who were selling their services as scouts to the white man, told me that I was to be shot to death, or else hanged upon a tree. I answered that I was not afraid to die.

"However, there was an old soldier who used to bring my food and stand guard over me—he was a white man, it is true, but he had an Indian heart! He came to me one day and unfastened the iron chain and ball with which they had locked my leg, saying by signs and what little Sioux he could muster:

"‘Go, friend! Take the chain and ball with you. I shall shoot, but the voice of the gun will lie.'

"When he had made me understand, you may guess that I ran my best! I was almost over the bank when he fired his piece at me several times, but I had already gained cover and was safe. I have never told this before, and would not, lest it should do him an injury, but he was an old man then, and I am sure he must be dead long since. That old soldier taught me that some of the white people have hearts," he added, quite seriously.

"I went back to Standing Rock in the night, and I had to hide for several days in the woods, where food was brought to me by my relatives…

"In the spring the hostile Sioux got together again upon the Tongue River. It was one of the greatest camps of the Sioux that I ever saw…We had decided to fight the white soldiers until no warrior should be left."

At this point Rain-in-the-Face took up his tobacco pouch and began again to fill his pipe…

"There was excitement among the people, and a great council was held. Many spoke. I was asked the condition of those Indians who had gone upon the reservation, and I told them truly that they were nothing more than prisoners. It was decided to go out and meet Three Stars at a safe distance from our camp.

"We met him on the Little Rosebud. I believe that if we had waited and allowed him to make the attack, he would have fared no better than Custer. He was too strongly fortified where he was, and I think, too, that he was saved partly by his Indian allies, for the scouts discovered us first and fought us first, thus giving him time to make his preparations. I think he was more wise than brave! After we had left that neighborhood, he might have pushed on and connected with the Long-Haired Chief. That would have saved Custer and perhaps won the day.

"When we crossed from Tongue River to the Little Big Horn, on account of the scarcity of game, we did not anticipate any more trouble. Our runners had discovered that Crook had retraced his trail to Goose Creek, and we did not suppose that the white men would care to follow us farther into the rough country.

"Suddenly the Long-Haired Chief appeared with his men! It was a surprise."

"What part of the camp were you in when the soldiers attacked the lower end?" I asked.

"I had been invited to a feast at one of the young men's lodges . There was a certain warrior who was making preparations to go against the Crows, and I had decided to go also," he said.

"While I was eating my meat, we heard the war cry! We all rushed out and saw a warrior riding at top speed from the lower camp, giving the warning as he came. Then we heard the reports of the soldiers' guns, which sounded differently from the guns fired by our people in battle.

"I ran to my teepee and seized my gun, a bow, and a quiver full of arrows. I already had my stone war club, for you know we usually carry those by way of ornament. Just as I was about to set out to meet Reno, a body of soldiers appeared nearly opposite us, at the edge of a long line of cliffs across the river.

"All of us who were mounted and ready immediately started down the stream toward the ford. There were Ogallala, Miniconjou, Cheyenne, and some Hunkpapa, and those around me seemed to be nearly all very young men.

"‘Behold, there is among us a young woman!' I shouted. ‘Let no young man hide behind her garment!' I knew that would make those young men brave.

"The woman was Tashenamani, or Moving Robe, whose brother had just been killed in the fight with Three Stars. Holding her brother's war staff over her head, and leaning forward upon her charger, she looked as pretty as a bird. Always when there is a woman in the charge, it causes the warriors to vie with one another in displaying their valor," he added.

"The foremost warriors had almost surrounded the white men, and more were continually crossing the stream. The soldiers had dismounted and were firing into the camp from the top of the cliff."

"My friend, was Sitting Bull in this fight?" I inquired.

"I did not see him there, but I learned afterward that he was among those who met Reno, and that was three or four of the white man's miles from Custer's position. Later he joined the attack upon Custer but was not among the foremost.

"When the troops were surrounded on two sides, with the river on the third, the order came to charge! There were many very young men, some of whom had only a war staff or a stone war club in hand, who plunged into the column, knocking the men over and stampeding their horses.

"The soldiers had mounted and started back, but when the onset came, they dismounted again and separated into several divisions, facing different ways. They fired as fast as they could load their guns, while we used chiefly arrows and war clubs. There seemed to be two distinct movements among the Indians. One body moved continually in a circle, while the other rode directly into and through the troops.

"Presently some of the soldiers remounted and fled along the ridge toward Reno's position; but they were followed by our warriors, like hundreds of blackbirds after a hawk. A larger body remained together at the upper end of a little ravine and fought bravely until they were cut to pieces. I had always thought that white men were cowards, but I had a great respect for them after this day.

"It is generally said that a young man with nothing but a war staff in his hand broke through the column and knocked down the leader very early in the fight. We supposed him to be the leader, because he stood up in full view, swinging his big knife .

"After the first rush was over, coups were counted as usual on the bodies of the slain. You know, four coups is entitled to the ‘first feather.'

"There was an Indian here called Appearing Elk, who died a short time ago. He was slightly wounded in the charge. He had some of the weapons of the Long-Haired Chief, and the Indians used to say jokingly after we came upon the reservation that Appearing Elk must have killed the Chief, because he had his sword! However, the scramble for plunder did not begin until all were dead. I do not think he killed Custer, and if he had, the time to claim the honor was immediately after the fight.

"Many lies have been told of me. Some say that I killed the Chief, and others that I cut out the heart of his brother , because he had caused me to be imprisoned. Why, in that fight the excitement was so great that we scarcely recognized our nearest friends! Everything was done like lightning. After the battle, we young men were chasing horses all over the prairie, while the old men and women plundered the bodies; and if any mutilating was done, it was by the old men.

"I have lived peaceably ever since we came upon the reservation. No one can say that Rain-in-the-Face has broken the rules of the Great Father. I fought for my people and my country. When we were conquered, I remained silent, as a warrior should. Rain-in-the-Face was killed when he put down his weapons before the Great Father. His spirit was gone then; only his poor body lived on, but now it is almost ready to lie down for the last time. Ho, hechetu! "

Continue reading...

[yawnzbf]

⚝ Are you two a couple?

// beomgyu x gender neutral reader,,

wherein yn and beomgyu when on a walk are interviewed by a nyc couples page,

,,Formatting this was a bit of a task but i hope you all like it!!

It was just another day in the bustling city, and yn and Beomgyu found solace in the routine of their shared walks. The cold air nipped at their noses, but the warmth of their clasped hands kept the winter chill at bay. As they strolled through the usually crowded streets, the city seemed to fade into the background, leaving just the two of them in their own little world.

Meetnyc²ouples: excuse me!..hello? [admin asks noticing a pair’s linked hands] are you two a couple?

Beomgyu: yeah? What [he asks skeptical, his hand never leaving yn’s]

Meetnyc²ouples: are you two a couple?

Beomgyu: yeah why? [he says getting a bit defensive]

Meetnyc²ouples: oh, would you mind telling the quick story of how you two met?

Beomgyu: oh wow! Of course! [he chimed suddenly all sunshine and rainbows then looked back at his partner silently seeking their approval]

Beomgyu: you go for it!

Yn: uh,, we met on a blind date actually, my friend and his friend decided to pit us together and it started from there, The first date was a disaster by the way, he planned to meet at a cheesecake factory?! I mean who does that- like what if I was lactose intolerant? [they comment jokingly]

Beomgyu: hey! I thought it was a very cute little date [Beomgyu pouts trying to pull his hand away]

Meetnyc²ouples: if your first date went a little off track, how’d you two end up together?

Beomgyu: oh yeah, we didn’t talk to each ither for a month after and by that time, our friends gave up on us but ,, it was my final year maybe? [he asks unsure, seeking help from his over]

Yn: yeah, he was in his final year and I was in junior maybe,, he needed a photographer for his thesis project and bugged me for two (2) weeks straight until I gave in, then using his thesis as an excuse, we started to hang out very often.

Beomgyu: also, we didn’t start dating until like what? I graduated? Yeah, and then I was the one who ultimately asked the big question. [he said accusing yn]

Yn: I was going to ask him but he beat me to it, I’ll make sure I’ll be the one to propose first (propose as in engagement in case it is difficult to understand!!) [yn muttered as Beomgyu got shy, crimson enveloping his cheeks and ears]

Yn: awh,, is my baby all shy? [yn coo-ed at their boyfriend who immediately hid away in yn’s embrace]

Meetnyc2ouples: how long have you two been dating?

Yn: eleven and..? [yn trailed off not sure, seeking help from beomgyu]

Beomgyu: and a half [he completes,, way more composed than before]

Yn: right! Eleven and a half, going strong!

Meetnyc²ouples: can I ask what is your favorite thing about each other?

Beomgyu: this is gonna sound real cliché but I think they just get me way better than anyone else I’ve ever met. I mean they truly feel like my soulmate, my best friend, life partner I mean- yeah,, I don’t know how I lived all these years without them honestly [beomgyu’s gaze is overflowing with love as he answers never looking away from yn, while yn looks away from him ears burning]

Yn: my favorite thing about Beomgyu would be his silly little text messages that I used to- and still receive, I think that laid the foundation for our relationship,, although I cant leave out the cheesy pickup lines he still uses.

Meetnyc²ouples: adorable,, what’s your favorite thing to do together?

Yn: probably exactly what you just saw us doing, since we both work and have tight schedules, we try to find time for each other and that, more often than not results in just us walking around the city, exploring new spots, new people,, uh, yeah, I just love the quality time.

Meetnyc²ouples: oh, and before we leave, what are your names?

Beomgyu: they're yn and im Beomgyu

,,I settled on c² because writing meetnyccouples would look kinda odd,, so using my big brain i squared it!! Hence the name meetnyc²ouples— thank you for coming to my Ted talk!

[ineffable-suffering]

Ceci n'est pas une plume.

(from this doc of all of Neil's answered asks)

The meta goes a little like this: I like nerdy stuff about language (and also Good Omens), so I wanted to elaborate on why Angels and Demons don't actually ever speak any language except their own. They simply have the ability to flick a translation switch and (make anyone) understand what's being said in whatever other language.

Also, I end up making a way deeper point of it and why it's so telling that Aziraphale would learn French (and magic) the hard way, in the end.

Find out with me under the cut!

(Word count: 1820 | Reading time: ~8 minutes )

Aziraphale and Crowley's exchange in front of Marguerite's restaurant started me down this path and I'm pretty sure that this is actually how it works. Because it ties together a few other loose strings that have been floating around in my head about the whole langue deal in Good Omens.

Let's structure this by the questions Neil has already answered about it.

The Lead Balloon

I feel like the "in the beginning"-scene in S2 showed us that Crowley did not actually have much of an idea what exactly the plan for Earth and the humans were (instead, Aziraphale did). He might have found out later still, after asking his questions, but I feel like the second part of that answer is more likely to be true, since they both seem to understand this metaphor. This is further supported by:

Ergo: They're speaking in the language of Angels but we understand it in English (or whatever language we selected on our Amazon Prime). Automatically translated for us because Crowley and Aziraphale wanted us to understand them.

"Ciao. It's Italian. It means Food."

They sort of are, yes. Idiots who either forgot to turn on their own auto-translator, or idiots who aren't aware that they have one for other languages except English, or idiots who were miffed that Crowley actually knew-knew a word in another language and didn't want to admit that they didn't.

Où est la plume de la jardinière de ma tante?

Right, so. The exchange that fuelled this meta. First of all, as a funny side note, the origin of that peculiar sentence:

La plume de ma tante ("my aunt's quill") is a phrase in popular culture, attributed to elementary French language instruction (possibly as early as the 19th century) and used as an example of grammatically correct phrases with limited practical application that are sometimes taught in introductory foreign language texts. As Life magazine said in 1958, "As every student knows, the most idiotically useless phrase in a beginner's French textbook is la plume de ma tante (the quill of my aunt)." The phrase is also used to refer to something deemed completely irrelevant. [link]

So basically, it's historically the most nonsensical and dumb phrase any student of the French language gets taught. And yet Aziraphale has been "wittering on about it for the last 250 years". Even looking smug about it, to this very day. Gave me a good chuckle.

Also:

In the 1973 horror film The Exorcist, Catholic priest Damien Karras interviews [...] a girl believed to suffer from demonic possession. While Karras probes to determine whether the possession is a hoax, the demon Pazuzu—who has possessed the girl—speaks in Latin and French, languages presumably unknown to the girl. When Karras demands "Quod nomen mihi est?/What is my name?" in Latin, the demon exclaims "La plume de ma tante!", using the phrase as a non sequitur to mock and evade Karras' line of questioning. [link]

Using that particular phrase to avoid answering a question you're being asked? Like: "You speak every language in the world perfectly ...

Neil, Neil, Neil, *shakes head fondly*, is there anything that you don't give layered meaning to, ever? No. No, of course you don't. And I adore you for it.

The whereabouts of the aunt's gardener's pen questioned, Aziraphale then says "But you still understood me" when Crowley calls him out for his bad French.

This is curious and affirming of my auro-translator theory for two reasons:

1) Aziraphale wouldn't have said this if he'd uttered this sentence in the language of Angels and simply hit the auto-translate button. Because if he had done it that way, of course Crowley would have understood him. But the reason Crowley understands him is not because Aziraphale used his language auto-translate, but because, again, Aziraphale, for two hundred and fifty years, has been wittering on about the plume of his imaginary tante.

2) Point one is further proven by a tiny French nerdy fact I can provide because I actually did learn and graduate in French back in school, lol. Because Crowley actually makes a mistake while trying to not-automatically translate the sentence. He says:

But "jarndinère" is actually a female gardener (le jardinier = male, la jardinière = female). So, when Crowley says "he doesn't have a pen", he actually gets it wrong, which further proves to me that he (as well as all other angels and demons) doesn't actually understand the phrase like someone does who has learnt the language in a human way.

Crowley doesn't have the automated translation on in this moment, so he doesn't translate it correctly. Because he doesn't actually speak French. At least not in the sense that us humans interpret "speaking a language".

Comment ça?

Basically, what I'm trying to get at is: Would you say that Google Translate speaks every language in the world? That it's native and fluent in every tongue ever spoken? Or is it simply a program that can access all the language knowledge its been fed and as soon as you hit enter, it translates any and every language back to you?

Google Translate never learnt any language, it never sat down and went through the onslaughts of vocabulary and grammar that studying a language comes with. It never got frustrated with seemingly nonsensical sentence structures, subjonctifs (French-learnes, you know what I mean) tenses and conjugations. It never spent ages trying to understand different dialects and accents, never spoke with natives to figure out the hidden slangs and sarcasms that would never be translated on paper. It never went to night classes where the teacher wittered on about pens and gardeners and aunts.

No. Google Translate is being told a sentence and it soullessly, programatically recognizes the language through its binary coded translation filter and mirrors the equivalent in whatever other language you want it to.

It's furthest any-a thing could be from speaking a language.

And exactly like that.

Exactly like that is how angels and demons "speak" every language in the World. Hitting an imaginary auto-translate-and-auto-recognition button.

Aziraphale and French (and magic)

Just like with Aziraphale being giddy about the idea of human magic, of learning card tricks and pulling coins out from behind ears, Aziraphale chose to never hit his translate button when it came to French.

Why does Aziraphale learn magic the human way? Because he knows how to do it the ethereal way but that's "no fun."

And why does Aziraphale learn French the human way? Because he knows how to do it the ethereal way, but that's "no fun".

Let me recap real quick: Two of the very base principles of any angel's job and/or purpose (on Earth) is to 1) do miracles for humankind to ensure their souls will at some point be added to Heaven's tab and 2) be a being of Love and love all of Her creations.

Or, the condensed version: Magic and Love.

And what are the two things Aziraphale finds no fun (= boring and unsatisfying) to do the way it was intended for all angels?

Magic and (the language of) Love.

Aziraphale chose to try and learn magic as well as the language of love organically, without the God-given ability and the binary coded translation system Heaven provided his corporation with.

He wanted to learn it the human way. The hard way. The fun way.

Neil: "It's like magic tricks, which he is terrible at but loves to do, and miracles, which are no fun, but which he does very well."

Because that's the point, isn't it? Most of us think: "Wow, wouldn't it be great to be able to do actual magic? Simply snap your fingers and have any-a wish come true? Speak every and any language in the universe and never have to pick up a dictionary ever again?"

Sure, for the first few exciting moments, miracles and conversations maybe. But sooner or later, it renders everything meaningless. Soulless. Flavourless. And who loves flavour more than Aziraphale?

It's somewhat similar to why typing a sentence into Google Translate is never going to be as exciting as being able to finally translate it yourself after years of practising. Or why telling an AI to conjure up a picture of a beautiful landscape will never, ever be the same as working years on your own painting skills to one day finally be able to paint it yourself.

Heaven (and ultimately Hell) don't care about the process. The hardship. The pain and passion of putting work and effort into the journey. They only care about the end result. The means to an end.

Crowley: "They don‘t care how it gets done, they just want to know they can cross it off their list."

Want to speak any language in the world? There you go, automatic translator. Want to ensure humans will be added to the Heavenly/Hellish soul tab? Boom, you can do real magic. Get to work, then!

So, for Aziraphale to choose to learn the two things he was provided with to do his Heavenly work in the most efficient, soulless and flavourless way possible the human way instead, really says it all, doesn't it?

But he learnt the most important one the hard way, without his auto-translator.

The one language all angels are supposed to know fluently and wordlessly anyway.

The one language that makes an angel.

The language of Love.

Except that when it's programmed into you with the intent to only ever work as a means to and end instead of the beautiful journey it is, it will never be the real, organic, passionate, hard and wonderful thing it was meant to be.

And Aziraphale knows this.

Which is exactly why he learnt magic and French the real, human way.

***

Small addendum that I couldn't really fit into any paragraph up there: I think it's also really telling that Aziraphale only properly committed to learning French the right way by going to Monsieur Rossignol's (for those who haven’t seen it yet: rossignol means nightingale in French) night classes in 1760 after the first time we see Crowley rescue him (Bastille, 1739). There might have been a time before that where Crowley got him out of a precarious situation, but for all we know, it was the first one where Crowley really showed up for an angel in need who was absolutely swooning over it. Time to let the nightingale to teach you how to become fluent in Love!

[bthump]

Graphic and somewhat crude discussion regarding the eclipse rape here so fair warning.

rereading the eclipse, and also keeping in mind the recently translated interview where Miura apparently said that Casca may have derived pleasure from the rape if it was Griffith perpetrating it… I’m starting to honestly think that maybe the actual authorial intent of the scene was indeed to convey Casca experiencing emotional and physical pleasure from the rape. This could explain the eroticized portrayal to some degree. It’s still obviously problematic as hell but I think it makes it slightly more… acceptable? (not really but idk how else to phrase this sorry) that it was drawn that way, because then it means there was some actual reason behind the rape being portrayed that way and it wasn’t just done for the hell of it yk? But then again I find the supposed reason itself very disturbing and problematic and don’t see how it adds any meaning to the story. Slan saying “love, hatred, pain, pleasure, life, death, all are there”. I think is also indicative of this… I mean I don’t think anyone else could be feeling pleasure in that moment other than Casca. Femto possibly? Feeling spiteful pleasure at hurting guts? Guts, certainly not. It’s also suggestive that slan says this and it cuts to Casca in a sexualised pose. It’s obvious Casca had an orgasm or at the very least felt some physical pleasure based on all the effects on the page (the shudder/shake/twitch, sparkles on the page, sparkles on her nipples after femto sucks them, the highly eroticized poses, her blushing…). Also the fact that right after casca tells guts not to look, she raises up her arms to wrap them around Griffith (her arms aren’t restrained at this point) and seemingly willingly kisses him. I just.. the framing of the scene makes it kind of undeniable to me that miura was trying to portray Casca experiencing pleasure. In this scene casca is drawn very similarly to Charlotte during her consensual sex scene with Griffith. And obviously the matter of consent in the Charlotte scene itself is also dubious, but as you’ve explained previously it’s clearly not intended to be seen narratively as such (it’s just miura and his unfortunate portrayal of these things). It’s like miura was deliberately trying to blur the lines here, to what end I don’t know. Obviously the rape was still traumatic for her. But I really hope it’s not supposed to be understood that the main reason she was traumatised to the extent of her mind being broken and regressed to that of a toddler was because she also enjoyed it and couldn’t take the humiliation and shame of this, which I’ve seen many suggest. I think her telling guts not to look before kissing femto lends itself to this idea though. However, like I said, I just don’t see the value in this to the story? Or to Casca as a character? Or any character for that matter? The alternative is that miura drew the rape scene in this way for no reason, or even to be titillating which is equally as terrible to me. Maybe worse

Sorry I know this ask is graphic and kind of tactless. I understand if you don’t want to post it

link to the interview for reference

lol honestly you pointing it out is the first time in several re-reads that I actually noticed that Casca wraps her arms around Femto of her own volition. It's definitely a fact that Casca had an orgasm during the rape scene, so to me there's no doubt that she was experiencing physical pleasure. The idea that she was experiencing some amount of emotional pleasure too is more ambiguous, but yeah with that quote from Miura and the panels of her wrapping her arms around Femto it does seem pretty undeniable that that's also intended an element of the scene, though idk if it quite reaches the level of text, rather than implication.

And yeah like, I get what you're getting at, and I think it makes sense. It sucks either way, but if we're meant to understand the porny eroticization of the Eclipse rape as a context clue that Casca's not just feeling unwanted physical pleasure but also some amount of emotional fultillment, then yeah it arguably works better on a strict storytelling level.

Though if it was Miura's intent to show that Casca is torn emotionally between desire and horror, idk if I'd make that argument because I think that would be much more effective if we were shown/told more directly that Casca is feeling confused emotions (perhaps hearing her thoughts from her point of view) while being visually shown the horror, to match the rest of the Eclipse, and to prioritize the horror in the hierarchy of confused emotions.

As is, if we assume Casca is feeling desire for Griffith/Femto, to me the eroticization of the rape could be more indicative of Guts' feelings while watching - maybe Guts interpreting it through a lens of jealousy? I think that could potentially be effective if, like, it had any bearing on the story/characters/relationships at all lmao. If it was something Guts had to deal with, something that impacted his feelings towards Casca, something that was depicted as a major flaw to overcome, and potentially something shown from Guts' point of view as erotic but shown as horrific when in an objective (or even Casca's, if we got hers) pov, etc.

Buuuut it's all pretty moot anyway lol because like you said, what's the value? As it is, it's not a well-done depiction of complicated emotions. I agree that it would suck a lot if that was intended to be the reason for Casca's regression lol, like yeesh, it'd be absolutely dismal and I really hope that's not the case. It seems to have had no bearing on Guts' feelings or decisions, in fact it hasn't been referred to at all. We're only infering Casca's mixed feelings right now based on like two panels of Casca lifting her arms and one Miura interview, so if it is meant to have an impact on the story/characters then it should probably actually be textual and yk, have an impact.

So yeah, ultimately I agree with your conclusion that it's bad either way. Personally I think I'd actually prefer a more straightforward "Femto rapes Casca and Casca is plain old horrified and traumatized and it's sexy because it's in a magazine aimed at horny men" interpretation than the story making Casca confused emotionally and doing nothing with it except adding some eroticism, because without any impact on the story/characters it feels less like the eroticism is a way of underscoring Casca's mixed feelings, and more like Casca's potential mixed feelings are a way of justifying the eroticism while adding even more misogynist and otherwise problematic baggage to the rape scene and not even doing anything with it.

Or maybe even worse, doing something with it now that Casca's in Falconia. Because I gotta say I have negative faith in the ability of anyone involved to write this kind of thing well lmao and I am horrified at the prospect.

Thanks for the ask! And no worries, it's a difficult subject to discuss but I don't think you were tactless about it at all!

[ghnosis]

48/115 interviews coded!

I realized I never explained what coding means! dry academic stuff under the cut:

per Kathy Charmaz, "coding means categorizing segments of data with a short name that simultaneously summarizes and accounts for each piece of data. your codes show how you select, separate, and sort data to begin an analytic accounting of them." so what I do is I take the transcript of the interview and I read it line by line, and then I create some short little codes to help me describe what is going on in the data. this is called initial coding.

in practice, it looks like this:

I'm doing this by hand in Excel bc the software I *should* be using (NVivo) costs $475/year LMFAOOO

some of these codes, like TikTok or Year Zero or genderqueer, are used so I can quickly give statistics. this is how I know most of my interviewees are nonbinary/genderqueer/genderfluid/etc.

codes also show me emerging trends in data. for example, a lot of you used the word "flamboyant" or "theatrical" when I asked you if Ghost felt queer to you. a looooot of you talked about religious trauma, which I hadn't expected!

codes also help me understand you better, and explain you to academics. some codes are called in vivo codes (that's where NVivo gets its name), which are codes for things like your own personal definitions of things (like 'edgy' or 'queer' or 'goofy'), ghoul or Papa nicknames (insider knowledge/shorthands), or words like "shipping" that come from wider fandom.

once I get through the first round of coding, I'll take a break from the data for a while and go back to literature. this will be focused - some of you are linking the figure of Satan with queerness, for example, so I'll find some literary analysis that does the same thing (Per Faxneld's 2011 text Satanic Feminism is invaluable for this). I'll also be reading more about methodology, to make sure that I'm not just operating on hunches and cherry-picking data. I've been doing a lot of reading on feminist standpoint theory and queer theory as its own methodology, for example.

my plan, and we'll see how this pans out, is to write my methodology chapter and my literature review/introduction chapter after my first pass of coding, then go back to the data/transcripts with fresh eyes for coding round 2. this gets called "focused coding" sometimes. they follow trends I found in the data. again per Charmaz, "Focused coding checks your preconceptions about the topic." coding round 2 is when I'll probably bite the bullet and get NVivo, because I'll need software that lets me look across data better than Excel does. but! focused coding will be a problem for another day, lol.

[skepticalarrie]

What do you think about this theory? https://youtu.be/h9P-D5XeKfo?si=SYUixGz1jR9yXjyW there’s also some interesting comments under the video, including the one where someone thinks that Harry’s house is a chronicle of L and H’s relationship.

Not to forget about this vid of harry saying “the first time he broke up with me”: https://youtu.be/mYoJs54gwwg?si=TEFypP-BlyT0z0ao. And I remember that one interview (pretty sure it’s this one: https://youtu.be/vW58mqY0G7c?si=shICPVTOQZOMc7Xp), where someone supposedly Liam is saying that harry wanted to remove his tattoos(?) and Louis looked heartbroken. He actually looks miserable throughout this entire vid, as it was around the time when H and Taylor started “dating”. Honestly, it all matches with some of their lyrics and I can imagine Louis not handling the pressure of this entire thing that well and “running away” from it somehow.

I believe that they are stable now, but for me there were some clear break ups.

Now let me analyze their lyrics according to those theories:

(Before I start, it’s gonna be a long run, because I found so many interesting things)

Louis:

“When you don't want coffee in the morning. I know I'm in a hole. It's hard enough to get you sober. Got no chance if I'm hungover”.

“Hey, babe. It's written all over your face, say it. A hurricane behind the door. So I've come ready for a war (…) So when you find out what we're fighting for. I'll be ready to talk”

“And we can't even be on the phone now. And I can't even be with you alone now. Oh, how shit changes. We were in love, now we're strangers”

“And I'm sorry I let you down. I guess that I know what I already knew. I was better with you. And I miss you now”.

“You let your pride hide all your beauty and your kindness. So fast to judge in error, you thought you knew me better”

“I call you but you never even answer”

Harry:

“I'm in my bed. And you're not here. And there's no one to blame but the drink in my wandering hands. Forget what I said. It's not what I meant. And I can't take it back, I can't unpack the baggage you left”

“Test of my patience. There's things that we'll never know. You sunshine, you temptress”

“And I’m just an arrogant son of a bitch. Who can't admit when he's sorry”.

“I don't wanna make you feel bad. But I've been trying hard not to talk to you”

“Sittin' in the garden, I'm a couple glasses in. I was tryna count up all the places we'vе been”

“Only callin' you when. He don't wanna be alone”

So… What I get from this is that Louis might’ve broke with Harry one time because of their difficulties, and he tried to contact him, but Harry couldn’t even bring himself to talk to him over the phone (idk it might be after the band ended). Harry admits that he has communication problems and can say too much, or judge something too soon, which might be the reason Louis left him one more time (maybe it was the first breakup??) And there’s this whole thing of them both drinking their problems away… (Not to mention, that some ppl believe that Harry isn’t sober in that 3rd video I linked here, scrolled trough the comments and there are some theories like that).

Also one funny little thing (off topic, lmao): did you notice that Louis stars Chicago with “I saw you had a baby, did you?” And Harry sings “I’m having your baby” in Kiwi. That could be their insane joke or smth like that.

Quick addition: Harry also has an a entire song that feels like a reassurance (“fine line”) & Louis mentions his supposed love interest trying to be positive during the hard time (““I come runnin' to you like a moth into a flame. You tell me, "Take it easy," but it's easier to say”).

Sorry for such a long text. I know that we can’t interpret everything literally, but honestly… there could be smth to it all.

Hi, anon. "First time he broke up with me" is very much taken out of context, he's talking about Rob Stringer.

I don’t believe in that theory, love. Maybe they did break up at some point or spent some time apart, but I think it’d be impossible for us to really know. It feels like such a stretch to try and connect dots like that. Personally, I don’t see any signs of a breakup (especially when these things were happening in real time) and I think they’ve been consistent with their signalling, plus I don’t interpret any of the songs that way. You're more than welcome to believe it if makes sense to you and I’m not saying you shouldn’t interpret lyrics however you want, but if you’re curious about my take, check out my LYRIC ANALYSIS tag. I also have a THEY NEVER BROKE UP tag for more of this topic, which... trust me, gets discussed endlessly in this fandom (for whatever reason!)

[callipraxia]

Even Further Interview Analysis - On the Portrayal of "Otherness."

Maybe fourth fifth sixth time will be the charm when it comes to attempts to communicate what I'm thinking about this topic, post-Hirsch interview. I'm drawing from several quotes here that don't immediately link together at all, but trust me, folks. If you want to, of course. The full transcript of the interview, conducted and generously shared by @fordtato and @hkthatgffan, can, as always, be found here. The three previous interview-related pieces of content I've written can be found in their own section here on the handy-dandy directory post on the dreamwidth archive of my less ephemeral blog posts. 

For some variety, we're going with a quote from one of the Interviewers, a Hirsch quote I only made a joke about in my original post, and...uh, one of the same quotes from Hirsch from my last post. I...have a lot of thoughts, I guess. At the same time. In no order that can be translated into the English language very exactly. Anyway....

[Hana]"...with Ford in particular, with all of the content in the journal about him feeling “strange, on the outskirts of society, not understood,” it resonates so much with LGBTQ+ fans. Everyone I know who’s a big Ford fan is from some part of the LGBTQ+ community. There’s lines in there about romance baffling him, and stuff like that, where we’re like, we get it, we understand it, it makes sense, it resonates. Regardless of whether or not this was intentionally planned when you wrote it, how do you feel about Ford being interpreted as a bit of a queer icon for so many in the fandom?" -------------------- [Alex Hirsch] "When you do a clone story, the point of a clone story, in my mind, is a character seeing themselves in a different light, right?" -------------------- [Alex Hirsch] "I think that Bill was trying to find Ford, but I think- I always think of Bill as like, this guy who has, like - you know, he’s stirring the pot of soup that is the Ford plan, and he’s got like 900 pots of soup across the universe of different things he’s working on, and at any given moment, he’s so cocksure that it’s all gonna work his way eventually. Bill’s a trillion years old, so it’s like, Ford disappearing for thirty years is like- [snaps fingers] is like somebody saying they’re ghosting you and then texting you the next weekend, you know what I mean?"

This...thing will be divided into three parts: The Part Where Calli Talks About Sex and Gender and Neurodivergency, The Part Where Calli Talks About Mental Disorders, Addiction, and Fiddleford McGucket, and then, last but not least, The Part Where Calli Talks About Different Approaches To Writing Aliens. These do not, however, each correspond to one quote, and there will be some overlap here and there, so bear with me, if you will. There's also a stronger element of "reader response" in here than there was in the "Ford Plan" essay - there's still a good amount of canon analysis, but I do talk a bit about my own reactions to things and compare my writing process to Mr. Hirsch's toward the end, so I completely understand why those parts might fail to interest people. That said...let's begin.

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I. The Part Where Calli Talks About Sex and Gender and Neurodivergency TW for mentions of toxic masculinity, possibly homophobic aspects of queer-coding, domestic abuse, and my view that Bill is so close to being a sexual assaulter that his, er, anatomical limitations are a moot point.

There's a certain irony to Ford's status as a queer icon that I don't think I've ever seen pointed out before. I'm basically writing a book about this, actually (sort of - long story), but since I have no idea if that will ever go anywhere, I'll talk about it a bit here anyway. It's how, in a story where one of the threads is Dipper sorting out what it means to be a man, it strikes me enormously that his personal idol ends up almost personifying Traditional, Slightly Unhealthy Masculinity, at least at first glance.

Ford's first major action on-screen is, of course, picking up J1, so that we can see his hands...and then he hauls off and punches someone in the face. I wrote a 10,000 word essay (readable here) about Ford's anger issues and how they interact with his sense of self; the reason I wrote it was because of the revelation that Ford's actually a lot more casually violent in his limited screentime than Stan is. I won't go over all that ground again, but the second thing we ever learn about Ford is that he can and will shoot first, basically. And possibly literally, since he's carrying a massive gun throughout the scene and the very next episode establishes that he keeps at least one firearm (or...shooty-weapon of some sort, anyway) concealed on on his person at probably all times, considering he had it on him for game night with his nephew. Based on the weird mix of manual weapons and (if Stan was telling the truth, anyway) firearms in the Mystery Shack and in the Bunker, it seems entirely possible that he's been a bit of a weapons aficionado for a long time, well before he started walking the multiverse. As for afterward, well...afterward, the man sets his head on fire for a laugh, swings around with his magnet gun like the illegitimate love-child of Magneto and the Amazing Spider-Man, and I read a degree of awe in Dipper's statement that the aftermath of Weirdmageddon was the only time he'd ever seen Ford cry...in the whole month he's known the man. Given how few contexts he's had to reasonably see Ford have much a reason to cry in, I assume the remark was made just to underline the severity of the situation: Ford is this tough, stoic space cowboy who just went through days of torture at the hands of a mad god without breaking, so you know it's Serious Business if he's crying. Manly men like him just don't do that, do they?

Of course, along with all this testosterone poisoning, we also did always see plenty of evidence that Ford wasn't actually a talking sci-fi cardboard cut-out of the Marlboro Man. For one thing, there's the way he introduces himself verbally, once he's past the whole fistfight phase of events: "Greetings!...I like this kid! She's weird!" I suspect he started making his way toward also being something of an icon in the neurodivergent communities at about that exact moment. The moment also had the effect of reminding us: this potentially intimidating figure in black with a gigantic gun who can beat Stan in a fight is also, after all, also the Author of the Journals. We don't know much about the Author, but we do know that he was a scientist so brilliant that McGucket, a genius in his own right, accepted a place as his assistant. Hard to be that without also being something of a nerd, right? We also know that he's a very talented artist, and that he writes in oddly-structured sentences, and also that he writes in cursive - maybe that was just something I noticed, since I also write in cursive and occasionally oddly-structured sentences, but it was endearing and relatable to me, anyway. Most importantly, we also know that he apparently finds the unusual as cool as Dipper, our protagonist, does. In other words, we are reminded that, dramatic entrance notwithstanding, he's one of us, and as Hana noted...a lot of us ain't exactly Models of the Elusive, So-Called 'Norm,' are we? This is only emphasized as time goes on, given his enthusiasm for DD&MD and how we soon learn he is significantly more complex than he might have seemed at a glance - aside from being severely flawed, fully aware of it, and riddled with guilt, he also quotes poetry at what it seems safe to assume was one of the lower points in his life, an action shortly followed by philosophical reflections on the nature of heroism. It's also established that, in the sharpest departure of all from the Traditional Masculinity tropes, he didn't have a female partner before his long exile and isn't still griping about that fact to this day. In the America of his youth, just being a single man in his thirties who had never had a girlfriend, or even just didn't complain loudly about not having a girlfriend in between relationships, was the kind of behavior that could make the government suspect you were both gay and/therefore a Communist, especially if you were someone high-profile enough to be working on science with an enormous grant not all that long after the Space Race. Plus...look, the idea of a domestic abuse victim being shipped with their abuser is...not something I'm all that comfortable with, but I get where people get the idea from, and while Bill is definitely not a man, he does use the same pronouns as one. I can imagine people imagining it as a gay-adjacent ship even before the Journal came out and all but explicitly labelled Ford as One of Us when 'us' is defined as the Not-Straights as well as one of the Not-Neurotypicals. It's possible, as I said in my first interview overview, to use the Journal to build a case for Ford's heterosexuality, but the balance of evidence seems to tilt toward the idea that he's Something Else, even if it's not all that specific about what, probably to some extent because there's good reasons why Ford himself might not know, or at least not know the words to apply to the situation. That, however, is material for the post I'm thinking of putting out, like, the day before the new book comes out in July or something. Here, we're discussing not so much sexuality per se as the experience of Otherness.

As I mentioned briefly in the previous paragraph, the LGBTQ+ community isn't the only one which has taken Ford to its heart. Members of the neurodivergent communities - autistic people in particular - have also related strongly to Ford; in fact, this is actually the primary reason why I related to the guy so much. I'm asexual, so I'm in the Not-Straight Club, but for various reasons, my feelings of alienation began long before I noticed that I still thought kissing sounded vaguely unpleasant while others my age had revised their elementary school opinions on the subject. In fact, one of my earliest memories is of feeling that I was...off to the side, somehow, whenever other people were around. I was just an observer, never quite understanding what I saw, always reading like mad to try to figure out how people worked and apparently coming up with some...odd...ideas in the process before high school, which was when I started running across words in classes that seemed to describe the world as it appeared from my point of view. I wouldn't be diagnosed formally with any of my several DSM-V entries until many, many years later, but there was a profound relief in knowing that there even maybe was an explanation better than just "u a freak, lol." Having those words, and with them some sense of history and community, made it all seem more natural, not less so. This is similar to how a lot of people have said they feel about finding out that there's a word for being gay or trans or otherwise queer in some way, and there was some relief tied up in that, too, when I eventually found out that there's a whole world of other aces as well as other people otherwise wired like I am, but it was less of an issue for me, and therefore not what I first "clicked" with Ford over, even though I kind of read him as some kind of ace as well. Instead, for me, it was over how I related to the feeling of being the one person in the room whose occupational interests didn't align with everyone else's - of being the kid who could never quite get it right at Show and Tell. Over knowing what it's like to have your classmates nearly put you in the hospital when you hadn't done anything to them. Over how even the things your family says to make you feel better just underline how you're Different, how you're not really part of the circle even with your own parents. And yes - over having developed a certain amount of bitterness and distrust and general unfriendliness toward the 'normal' world over time. That's definitely a place where there's the potential for the portrayal of Otherness to become...an issue. Another such place is when we get to the matter of Bill.

Bill is presented as a highly alien being, but there's a lot of ways in which he's all too human. Far too many of the ways in which he's all too human happen to be ways that strongly imply that if he had a human body, he'd be one of the not-charmers we used to see getting interviewed and then arrested on To Catch A Predator. And he uses male pronouns in English, appears with accessories which allow big dramatic gestures, has a high-pitched, whiny voice, is a relentless sadist, and is most frequently shipped with human males. All taken together, if one looks at Bill through the lens of queer coding, he can come across as something not dissimilar to the stereotype of the Depraved Homosexual, a homophobic stereotype used to imply that gay people, and especially gay men, are inherently villainous and dangerous...and that's even before we get to the Penthouse scene, where Bill makes his entrance singing a love song to someone he's abused for years who, at that particular moment, he also has on a short leash. Literally.

Did the writers intend for Bill to come across as The Dangerous Gay? I...like to think not, but as Hirsch himself admits in both the discussion of Grenda and to an extent the discussion of the intent behind Ford's alienation - the world was radically different back then, so that you could end up unthinkingly writing certain things then that you know would never fly today, and which you wouldn't even try to make fly today, not least because now you know better than you knew back then. To his credit - well, the thing he specifically apologized for wasn't my apology to accept, as I am exceedingly cisgendered, but I do feel he handled having that brought up about as gracefully as possible. As far as Bill goes, though...maybe you could convince me he wasn't deliberately portrayed as a gay pervert specifically, but I'm not sure there's an argument which could persuade me to buy the idea that Bill wasn't intentionally, or at least knowingly, portrayed as some form of pervert, especially in season 2 and the Journal. The first time I read the Journal, after a steady progress of growing more and more uncomfortable with the overt psychological, financial, spiritual, and physical abuse, I threw the thing at one point in Ford's first section while exclaiming, "what in the sam-hell?!" - which, for me, is the equivalent of much stronger profanity, because I usually swear like Fiddleford, if I must add any embellishments to my expressions of disapproval at all. That was how overtly rape-like I found the post-betrayal possession plotline in the Journal. Okay, so, Bill doesn't have a penis. Cool. I don't care. He's still shown (repeatedly, even) to take sadistic pleasure from robbing others of their physical agency, of reducing them to helpless objects which he can treat however he pleases. Even once he loses the ability to do this to Ford completely, he goes out of his way to overcompensate for it: when we first see the two interact in "The Last Mabelcorn," Bill introduces himself by warping Ford's dreamscape into his own image before he proceeds to box Ford in even further, surrounding him with copies of Bill's self and also getting into his personal space and touching his mental representation of himself, to Ford's obvious consternation. And then we get to Weirdmageddon, where first he turns Ford into his backscratcher, and then the next time we see them, the scene is played almost like a literal attempt at seduction - though, of course, with nasty little details like the "literally on a leash" and "the sofa is alive" bits, just to keep Ford off-balance, so that he reacts instead of thinking. It's possible that they also, to some extent, to play into the depiction of another Other category often associated with Bill, though I don't tend to personally share this view. in a...questionable way. This topic is the portrayal of mental illness as Other.

The Part Where Calli Talks About Mental Disorders, Addiction, and Fiddleford McGucket TW for, well, discussion of mental illness, addiction, and how both Fiddleford and my grandfather had those issues.

I suppose we all see the issues that touch us personally first, so let's just jump straight into it and speak of probably the first thing in Gravity Falls that made me uncomfortable. That thing was Fiddleford McGucket.

"Legend of the Gobblewonker" is a great episode, but I'll be honest: the whole bit with McGucket at the beginning of the episode made me cringe the first time I saw it, and it kinda makes me cringe whenever I rewatch it to this day. There's just not much getting around it: McGucket looks and sounds like a caricature of people from the same part of the world as me. The way the other characters regard McGucket makes me self-conscious (well, moreso than usual) about the way I sound when I talk, and I kinda want to kick Blubbs a little every time I see the episode. Or maybe even say something exceedingly unkind to him about how he's a fine one to make comments about other people's mental capacity when he's dating Deputy Durland. Not something I'd actually do, of course, because it's not Durland's fault that he is like he is, but dang, do I want to put Blubbs in his place in that scene sometimes. It then gets even less comfortable for me once I consider that McGucket is also portrayed as a caricature of people with dementia, severe mental illness, or both in that scene, and it becomes more uncomfortable because when I combine that with everything else about McGucket, it starts feeling an awful lot like the butt of the joke is someone with an uncanny resemblance to one of my real-life grandfathers. And then came the twist of the episode, and that...actually opened up a whole 'nother can of worms for me, because to me, the way McGucket acts at the end of "Gobblewonker" and during some asides in "Society of the Blind Eye" makes me think that he is, essentially, faking insanity in order to manipulate people in the "present" times of the show. And that's...not the same issue, exactly, as him being written as an insulting caricature, but it's kinda uncomfortable, too.

I will give Gravity Falls this: it does a decent job of sympathetically portraying characters who are clearly not mentally well or neurotypical all the time. Dipper and Mabel are all too familiar to those of us who grew up with unacknowledged stuff going on, and you'd have to try pretty hard to write Stan more like someone with ADHD and moderate depression, not to mention some compulsive behaviors. Ford's mental breakdown in 1981 is also played completely straight with little to no effort to inject any humor into it, even though he falls into the category of "visibly 'crazy'" toward the end of it. We know very little about Dipper and Mabel's background, but the troubled circumstances in which Soos and the Stan Twins grew up are also handled fairly realistically and sympathetically. Notably, however, while Ford acknowledges he came close to "losing [his] sanity" in the past, none of the Pines family ever acknowledges that there might be something "wrong" with them in the present - that is a label reserved for others, mainly Bill and Fiddleford, with a side of every member of the Gleeful family and a sprinkling of Pacifica to taste. This makes it a tad awkward that all of them originate as villains of one or another caliber...and yes, I did mean to include Fiddleford there. Watch "Legend of the Gobblewonker" with the assumption you've never seen anything else about the character and listen to what Fiddleford says after his robot is wrecked, and then put it together with the nature of the problem Fiddleford was trying to solve. Fiddleford wasn't just looking for attention - he was specifically trying to convince the people that there was a dangerous monster in the lake. Later in the episode, when Soos and the Mystery Twins have the bad luck to get too close, he also plays the role to the hilt, seriously endangering their lives before he's stopped by a quirk of geology. The outlines of his plan become obvious from there: if the robotic nature of the Gobblewonker hadn't been revealed, then either the stories of what happened to Soos' boat (or, in the worst-case scenario, the dead bodies of its occupants) would have seemingly confirmed Fiddleford's ravings about a dangerous beast that destroys watercraft living in the lake. At that point, Fiddleford would have gotten validation, sure...but even more importantly, fishing season, whether officially or unofficially, would have gotten cancelled as a result of his shenanigans, despite the effect this would have on the local economy, which is why I tend to think he went with the 'lake monster' strategy in the first place. It seems to me that his reasoning ran something like, “if Tate's excuse for refusing to interact is that I frighten the customers, the obvious solution is to create a situation where there are no customers in a way that can't be traced back to me.” And if someone has to take significant property damage, or even get actually hurt, to make that happen, well....

So yeah. Swap him out with someone doing absurd things for the sake of his love life instead of because of his desire to induce his son to speak to him and it's pretty classic villain behavior. This is underlined by Fiddleford's own descriptions of his other stunts: the pterodactyl-bot he built in response to his divorce was "homicidal," and his next project is apparently going to be a death ray. In the Journal entry which corresponds to the episode, Dipper is still clearly wary of him. Anyone who didn't know how the story was going to end could easily buy this episode as an indicator that Fiddleford would at least sporadically be a threat, perhaps along the lines of Gideon - who, incidentally, Fiddleford is more than happy to work with at the end of the season, even though building the Gideon-Bot would have necessarily given him some insight into Gideon's predilection for illegal mass surveillance operations. In every other appearance he makes in season one, though, Fiddleford merely acts out a parody of psychosis, with his two bouts of conflict-enablement at the beginning and end of the season merely bracketing the act; once we learn about the essential falseness of his act in "Society of the Blind Eye," the brackets become underlines that reinforce what the episode shows us retroactively. "Society of the Blind Eye" shows a man who perhaps, based on his reaction to the image of the Blind Eye, has PTSD or something similar, but except for his moment of panic after he sees the Eye in the Journal, he is clearly shown to be in full command of his faculties throughout the episode. It happens twice, in fact, in his first scene of the episode: after throwing up an almighty clamor, he stops carrying on about Lee and Nate vandalizing his home once he thinks he is out of earshot of others and mumbles that they did indeed "get [him] good." A moment later, he spots his "visitors" and then slips right back into character, yammering about his hourly arguments with his own reflection...at least until Dipper flatly tells him to drop the act, and he does. Instantly. Without hesitation. He no more thought that his reflection was some other hillbilly watching him bathe than I did. The implication in "Blind Eye" is a bit pitiable - that he pretends to be the happily deranged Ol' Man McGucket character to cover up his loneliness and lack of self-esteem - but it's still him faking insanity, which is...not good behavior, at least. He ends up being a cringy stereotype of people from my part of the world and from my social background (my father was born as poor as it sounds like Fiddleford was in a state which shares a bit of border with Tennessee), and he also seems to be someone who is exaggerating the symptoms of his mental problems the way so many of us in Diagnosis Club are often accused of doing in real life. And he comes across as a bit of a pot shot at homeless people, sometimes, too. That's...a lot of issues for one dude to have, especially given his relatively minor role in the series proper.

Of course, the dirt-poor cackling hick stereotype...I'm not partial to it, but I don't actually really hold that one against the writers too much. Southerners make fun of ourselves all the time, after all, and the line between laughing with people and laughing at them is a treacherous boundary, one which everyone probably perceives a little differently, which is why it's always more comfortable to write about your own people. The way I 'read' the Folks Who Talk Like Me - that is, Fiddleford, Bud, Gideon, and kind of Farmer Sprott, I guess - in the series makes me generally feel that the writing staff was in fact laughing at us and not with us, but since I am not Jewish or Hispanic or even a man and yet presume to write from the points of view of the Stan Twins and Soos on a regular basis, I...don't reckon I'm quite standing in a glass house, but I'm close enough to doing so that it would probably be a bad idea for me to throw around any stones no matter how careful I try to be about that sort of thing, y'know? But the "Fiddleford crazy" narrative - that one kind of bothers me.

I mentioned a couple of paragraphs ago that my first impression of Fiddleford was that he's not dissimilar to what you would get if you wrote a somewhat unkind parody of my grandfather, who had severe bipolar disorder with psychotic features in his later years. To a degree, I still see Fiddleford that way even after it becomes apparent that he's not half as out of it as he pretends to be, and that's because when do we learn for sure that Fiddleford is sane, it's in the same episode that we learn about something else he has in common with my grandfather: that is, a history of addiction. They even both created the instruments of their own destruction: Fiddleford invented the memory gun which gradually eroded and scarred his brain to the point that there's a bit of an implication that he might not ever fully recover, and Pawpaw spent several decades as an alcoholic after making a decent chunk of his lifetime income bootlegging, a classic case of getting too high (or low, as the case might be) one one's own supply. In the "Blind Eye" tapes, we get the impression that Fiddleford also genuinely did descend into madness for at least a while in the year or so after the Portal Incident, and it's shown to be a direct effect not of trauma from his experiences with Ford and Bill, but of his chronic use of the memory gun. Mr. Hirsch even compares him to an alcoholic in the Interview, and while my grandfather was luckier, it's not at all surprising or unrealistic that Fiddleford's habit ends with him homeless, wifeless, friendless, cultless, and estranged from his only child. The McGuckets are as much of a tragedy as the Pines family in their own way, and you could easily write a decent neo-Southern Gothic about them alone...if, at least, you figured out what to do with Fiddleford post-breakdown a little less clumsily than the showrunners did.

There's a gap that doesn't make sense. Fiddleford in the "present day" is clearly far more rational than he was at the end of the Blind Eye tapes and is just playing up his former symptoms when he deems it useful so that he can avoid confronting his problems directly, but in the last Blind Eye tape, he was so out of it that he was speaking about Bill in tongues. What the heck happened? Is the implication that once he was kicked out of the Blind Eye, he just...automatically recovered enough to use his new reputation strategically for no reason other than lack of access to the gun, instead of seeking out other drugs? And then, when he ends up facing his demons by sheer accident at the end of the episode, he just...spontaneously finishes getting better instead of being even a little re-traumatized by the horrors floating back to the surface of his mind, or the sight of what he looked like as he fell apart back then? And then he is just effortlessly forgiven for everything by everybody? Bear in mind that he probably abandoned his son before he finished his mental collapse (it's possible that Fiddleford just stayed in Gravity Falls and started the Blind Eye because Emma-May had already initiated their divorce, but when he walked out on Ford, there's no evidence that there was anything at all preventing him from continuing to walk right on back to Palo Alto) and that it's canon that for a while, he was non-consensually wiping Ford's memory when he deemed it necessary. Since the memory gun is presented as Fiddleford's drug of choice, him secretly using it on someone else is...well, to put it extremely mildly, not cool, dude, not cool at all. And far from using the Journal to patch up this uncomfortable fact the way they tried to use the Journal patch up how equally uncool it was for Mabel to slip drugs into people's food, the writers actually used the thing to establish these events as canon shortly before having other characters begin singing Fiddleford's praises to the skies with no acknowledgment whatsoever that he, like his fellow older adult characters, is a messed up person who's done some seriously messed up stuff in his day. It also surprises me that I can't recall ever seeing a single person imply that Tate might have only "forgiven" Fiddleford in hopes of getting the money after the old man kicks the bucket. Where everyone else has a variety of fallout to their sins sooner or later, Fiddleford only pays on-screen for what he did to himself, not for how it affected other people, and the degree to which he even had to pay for that is glossed compared to what other members of the cast get. What makes him so special?

It's possible that, having played Fiddleford as nine kinds of potentially offensive stereotype throughout the series, the writers just decided to not go any further in the hopes that this would even up the tally sheet and sweep the issues with the character under the rug, so to speak. It's also possible that he and Tate are being shielded from exposure to the full fallout of the plot solely by their status as minor characters - I had to dig release-the-balrog levels of deep to construct any kind of canon-based personality for Tate for my fics, and though his role in the backstory is huge, Fiddleford's actual contributions to the story are fairly small. He doesn't even get to remember "wait, Stanford Pines is the Author, and his device leads to demon-land?!" before we find this out by other means. Redemption arcs, too, are one of the show's weaker points; this is most obvious with Gideon, who snaps out of what has appeared to be a near-delusion at the end of one speech near the very end of the show and is just readmitted into society without much comment, but the process of showing someone changing instead of just showing them changed is one the writers seemed to have struggled with a little in general. I think, though, that at least part of the reason why Fiddleford's redemption comes about a bit awkwardly is really just because of an inherent weakness of allegory: when you use a thing as a representation of something else, it's never going to fit perfectly. It will always have extra baggage and individual quirks that, once you look at it for a few minutes, start to undermine the message in some way.

Fiddleford may be genuinely mentally ill to some degree - aside from his apparent breakdown about the time he got kicked out of the Blind Eye, he's also fairly realistically portrayed in the Journal as anxious and possibly dealing with a "functionality-allowing" level of OCD - but he definitely isn't actually an alcoholic: he's a symbolic representation of an alcoholic. In "Society of the Blind Eye," Fiddleford is really just a means to an end, the vessel through which the show conveys one of the lowest-key "don't do drugs" messages ever written by showing that trying to cope with your problems by blacking them out will just make things worse for you in the long run. This fits in with how the writers intended to use Fiddleford in "Legend of the Gobblewonker," where I was supposed to come away with a message about being nice to my grandparents instead of with the impression that this man is as dangerous and unscrupulous as anyone or anything else in this town, and it fits in with the characters-as-tools approach to writing that Alex Hirsch mentions several times throughout the Interview (remember that thing? The thing I was originally talking about? Yeah...). It's obviously more successful than anything I've ever done, but my objection to that approach is that it causes the exact kind of snarls I've been talking about in this section here: when the character is a character, you play out the consequences of these things, but when the character is just a symbol for something else, you're likely going to end up with these dangling issues that create uncomfortable snarls the second you take a closer look at them. I'll continue to elaborate on this theme in my next part, where I talk about Dipper's clones and Bill and the Axolotl and other such non-human entities.

The Part Where Calli Talks About Different Approaches To Writing Aliens. No real TWs here, but there are spoilers for some of my fanfics.

I made a joke about Mr. Hirsch's comment on clone stories in my original running commentary, but it really was a line that surprised me a little. This is because it never, ever would have occurred to me that the point of a clone story could be to see their "template" in a different light. Probably this is in part just due to other fiction I'm familiar with which deals with the clone idea in a lot more depth, but I do think it is also at least in part an effect of philosophy and/or habits of character creation.

The role of habit, of the tendency we all have to write things the way we always have done without thinking about it, cannot be underestimated. I come from a play-by-post roleplaying background; until GF and the idea for For Want of a Jailbreak slammed into my life like a freight train in 2021, my game was also the context of all of the creative writing I’d done for the past twenty years. Creating a character who exists solely to play a role in someone else’s story therefore just sounds odd to me, considering I have sunk hundreds of thousands of words and the majority (a slim majority, but still) of my life to date into something where literally everyone is the main character of their own story while simultaneously playing a supporting role in two or three or seven other characters’ stories. If you recognize this format, it’s because it’s not entirely dissimilar to how the plots, such as they are, of American soap operas work. Characters may start out as just adjuncts to the plots of established cast members, but if they gain any traction at all, they’re quickly going to start developing their own storylines, just like Tracey and Quattro did after I tried to put them in FWJB Part II to create a specific conflict. They created the desired conflict, all right, but they also created fifteen others and somehow ended up being absolutely essential to the thematic unity of the piece – it doesn’t work without them, even though I never intended for them to contribute to any themes. I didn’t even intend for the series to have any themes; I had absolutely no plans to explore ideas in this fun little AU I’d cooked up. The themes just arose from the characters instead of me manipulating the characters to prove a theme.

This approach does, admittedly, have its compensations, or at least compensates for one of my greatest creative weaknesses: I suspect I would have gotten bored and/or never figured out how to end Part III if I’d had a Message in mind when I started talking. I’m not a terribly organized person, and if I try to get organized, I have so much fun making plans that I never get around to actually doing anything. My imagination also, though, to put it mildly, is rather weak in areas where Mr. Hirsch’s seems to be quite strong. This is probably no small part of why I find analyzing what he says about his writing style so interesting, really, and after doing so for a while, I think I’ve found an essential difference. It’s that he seems to generally know what he wants to say and then just says it instead of waiting to see what he ends up with, and he doesn’t spend an awful lot of time worrying about all those grey areas on the fringes that complicate the message. The first half of that sentence is a strength; the second half is...more complicated.

One of the perks of knowing what you want to say and saying it boldly, without worrying too much about all the finer shades of grey around the edges, is (or at least, I imagine it is) that it makes writing symbolically much easier for authors like Mr. Hirsch than it is for authors like me. Things are rarely symbolic in my universes; I can write you a twenty-page essay about [insert symbol] from [insert famous novel] if you give me two days and a source of pressure, but that’s because I am really good at participating in English lit classes, not because I really feel the symbolism. Symbols just aren’t what I think in – I’ll never forget reading about how zombie stories are apparently often written in times when people are anxious about immigration and that vampires represent fear of the Gay, because I’d never been more baffled in my life. It just failed to compute. If people wanted to write xenophobic and homophobic rants – or so I wondered as I read what the undead were apparently supposed to really be about – then why didn’t they just...do that, so the rest of us could avoid them and get on with wondering “but no – what if everybody at the cemetery did just pop up one night? How would we really respond to that?” A few years ago, in one of my Charlotte Bronte moods, I wrote 48 poems on post-it notes at work and then revised them all into a Mead composition book, and not one of them means anything. Half of them are descriptions of actual events, with minimal commentary. They’re poetic in form, but they aren’t really poetry because I’m not really a poet. Mr. Hirsch’s work is not (generally, though some of it is) poetic in form, but the imagination behind it is a poet’s. Therefore, he could write “Double Dipper” and use the clones to make a point without proceeding to get into all those side issues that go with the kind of clone story I’m more familiar with, such as personhood and legal rights and all that kinda stuff. The clones to Mr. Hirsch are symbolic representations of introspection, not characters; it’s debatable, really, the degree to which anyone in Gravity Falls should be considered a true character outside of the Pines family, because even though the show uses the town’s name as its title, it isn’t actually about the town of Gravity Falls: everything else in the setting exists solely to tell the one family’s story, and that’s that. It's tidy and compact, like a poem.

I, as established, am more of a “spend ten years cross-hatching tiny different areas with subtly different pencil points to create a greyscale drawing” person (metaphorically – I like metaphors much better than symbols), but I have to admit – there is something attractive about the idea of drawing in broad, bold lines like that. Attractive and a little frightening. Part of the reason it’s frightening is because, of course, overlooking those details means someone is going to get angry with you sooner or later. Unfortunately, that's also part of the reason why it has a certain appeal. It's when you write like that, after all, saying things without fifteen qualifying statements tacked on at the end or a lot of deep dives into the minds of the characters, that you create room for audience engagement and therefore create an intellectual property that can, in theory, outlive its first audience and attain a lasting degree of success.

Some years ago, I formed a theory about the Harry Potter books, and so far, nothing I’ve come across has contradicted it. That theory is that the series owes part of its success to its “dormitories based on personality” system and the way that encourages people to identify with “their” House, and that it owes most of the rest of its success to the ways in which it betrays its own ideals. From a very early point in the fandom, after all, there was a certain...tension over the places where the series said one thing but seemed to practice another one, to greater or lesser degrees. The books knock us about the head with the idea that individual choice is destiny, but sons always look uncannily like their fathers, somehow. I could write a whole essay about ways Book 7 takes every issue the series ever had, magnifies it, covers it in high-wattage lights, and then...just walks off, apparently having never noticed there was a problem at all, much less that the problem had just got worse. These contradictions grew sharper and sharper as the series went on, to the point where eventually, it became clear there was a real issue in the foundations of that IP rather than just a failure to think about the full implications of a few things, but I suspect there is something universal about successful properties in the broader idea, because all things which bold-strokes authors seem to never, or at least only minimally, think of and which people like me can’t stop thinking of? Those things make up the boundaries which define the spaces where fandoms grow. There’s a lot of books I’ve loved passionately in my life, but only a very few I’ve written about outside of school. The balance of good points and unpalatable implications cannot be anything other than precarious anywhere it occurs, but it’s on that razor’s edge that a certain kind of personality feels compelled to explore the areas that cause discomfort instead of doing what I did with, say, Divergent, which was “loudly express my displeasure to anyone who would listen after getting halfway through the second book before my distaste for the main character became so overwhelming that I couldn’t finish it.” I don’t think that Gravity Falls’ issues are as deep-rooted and insidious as the ones in Harry Potter, but there’s some issues just the same, and...well, here I am, aren’t I? How many words have I written about this one interview so far? The document I’m typing this in is using Times New Roman size 12 font and very narrow gaps between the lines, and these words are about halfway down the tenth page. I’ve written three reasonably competent novels set in this universe and a handful of short stories I wouldn’t be embarrassed to produce in an undergraduate fiction-writing class and also some fairly well-received canon essays. And in July I reckon Disney is, indeed, going to part me from yet more of my money, even though it’s a book about Bill when “Bill dies” is one of my very favorite moments in the whole series because I hate him. I also consider him one of the problematic issues of the franchise for – believe it or not – even more reasons than the ones I’ve already discussed in the first two body sections of this document, though he could be the ultimate expression of those as well.

I already discussed in part I why I find some aspects of his portrayal uncomfortable as far as it comes to sexuality, so I’ll not repeat that. As for part II, the reason I don’t take any particular offense to him on the mental health angle is that I don’t personally regard Bill as a depiction of a mentally ill character. He says he’s insane, but Bill says a lot of things and even the most honest of them are no more than half-truths. Bill cheerfully classifies himself as "insane," but like Fiddleford, he isn't, at least not by any definition of the term which is precise enough to be useful. Bill's behavior can come across like a bad dose of anti-social personality disorder with narcissistic and histrionic features, which is quite an unfortunate combination to have when he also is a sadist, but he knows right from wrong, as he proves by how quickly he goes from gloating to groveling once he’s trapped inside Stan's mind. He may not understand exactly why it works or how it would feel to have someone do it to him, but he understands perfectly well that he’s putting the emotional thumbscrews to Stan and Ford by attacking Dipper and Mabel, and he understands just as well that they are not in any mood to play games after they turn the tables on him. He also betrays a clear consciousness of guilt in the scene where Time Baby raids the Fearamid and he acts like a teenager who just had the cops called on his noisy party full of underaged drinking. He is not at all confused about why Time Baby and company want to rain on his parade or under any impressions that appear to be out of touch with reality. When he does things like present Dipper with a screaming head that he treats like a gift, I truly don't believe he's so "lol crazy," or even so alien that he doesn't understand that nobody would want that thing; I believe he does things like conjuring the head and the living sofa and whatnot because he understands humans and therefore knows they will disturb his victims, who will therefore be off-balance and who will therefore continue to react instead of think. This keeps them right where Bill wants them, in positions where he has the maximum advantage before he offers a deal. This is controlled, well-reasoned behavior, not the result of a lack of comprehension of what a human boy in the 21st century finds desirable or of what Ford might consider appealing interior design. Here’s the part where I get around to those aliens I mentioned in the section title, because while I can’t fathom liking him, I do think I would have loathed him less it if he had been a little more alien. As it is, though, he ends up compacting everything I dislike about humanity into one geometric figure and not, to my mind, doing much else.

While a character like Bill has to have a good grasp of human psychology and an ability to imitate it in order to manipulate his victims, one of my issues with Bill is how I never really got the sense of how Other he is. We’re told that he’s Other in ways that aren’t just versions of villain stereotypes, but we’re not really (in my opinion, mind you) shown it. From even the limited amounts we know about Bill and the GF Multiverse, we can deduce logically that he probably does have incomprehensible numbers of plans going at once, and that he can somehow process them all at the same time when even the slightest attempt to do the same would probably drive one of us to madness or force our heads to collapse into black holes, but emotionally, I don't ever feel it, and so it’s relegated to something Alex has to remind us of, because Bill ended up too human for the thought to flow naturally, somehow. Hopefully we'll get some good dirt in July, but for now, Bill is an alien, but he doesn’t quite feel like one. He doesn’t feel like something with answers, like something above us, like something older than the galaxy. He feels more like a human being than some of the actual human beings do. He feels like...well...to quote Ford, “the scam artist he is.”

To be clear, though, I’m not bashing the writers here: for one thing, writing alien intelligences without stumbling into insulting some category of people by pure accident is hard. Most writers are human, and the less like you something is, the harder it is to imagine the world from that entity’s point of view. For another thing, too - no matter what else Bill is, he's also one of the most effective representatives of evil I’ve seen in fiction in a very long time, and since he is a central villain in a high-stakes story, that means he succeeded in the most important part of what he was there to do. The writers had the guts to follow through with making him a virtual singularity of unpleasant traits without softening him up around the edges along the way or even giving him the excuse of an alien's incomprehension of why what he is doing is bad, and they had the skill to write him as pure, unabashed evil in a way that nevertheless acknowledges how complicated people’s motives for dabbling in the Dark Arts can be. He is a symbol even I can work with: I find it believable that he could get a lot of people to do the wrong thing for the right reason, because his alienness just makes him generalizable, a sort of talking abstract concept, like a sentient but bodiless force of evil that looks a little different to everyone who looks at it. Most people who do evil things, after all, are not born declaiming the “now, gods, stand up for bastards!” speech from King Lear: there’s something we can, with a greater or lesser degrees of effort, understand about many people's reasons for stepping onto the slippery slope even if we still firmly denounce the act of taking that step. Bill also seems to start small, at least on the surface, in what he asks of his marks, so that it feels like: oh, surely I can be just a little selfish just this once, and it won’t hurt anyone, and probably no-one will ever even find out about it – that’s the routine he runs on Dipper in “Sock Opera.” Or he uses those groomer traits of his to slowly skew your view on normality and/or morality, so that perhaps you’re Ford, and view stealing nuclear waste as a “public service” after he whispers in your ear for long enough. I can understand how he managed to get by so long before he resorted to the inelegant tactic of using people's family members as hostages to get his way; although evil and unappealing in himself, he has the skills to present what looks like an appealing deal to others a lot of the time. It's a sign of an intellectual maturity in the show's composition that we see Bill, most of the time, as less of the mad god and more of the guy you don't want to do business with, really, but who you know you might well end up needing to do business with - as the manifestation of all the little compromises everyone makes, which for some ultimately spiral out of control. And while he is annoying, even that can work in his favor under the right circumstances, because he’s the kind of annoying that makes at least some people (ie, me) want to put him in his place. I think I’m sensible enough to realize I couldn’t really outsmart him, but I dang sure would want to try. He can get an emotional reaction from anyone, and generally the one he wants at that. He’s a brilliant creation, really, and an accomplishment for a creator to be proud of regardless of whatever else he is.

The Part Where Calli Tries To Draw Some Conclusions

In the beginning, five tries to get this far ago, I had no idea what, if any, coherent point I might end up with. I didn’t even really expect to end up with one. I just had reactions to what I read in the transcript, and I knew that if I wrote about them, I’d get a clearer idea why I was reacting and maybe some new insights into something I love, ie, the show. I was not looking to write an essay about how Gravity Falls is Problematic in its portrayal of the Other, and I was not looking to write an essay to defend it from such charges. I was just writing to figure out what exactly it was I thought about the issue. Now, here at the end, here’s what I think I’ve written:

1. There are some ways in which some of the depiction of Otherness in Gravity Falls are indeed potentially problematic. 2. These issues are not, on the whole, crit fails. Every work has its flaws, and, as usual, the ones left in GF just highlight the excellence of the rest of the final product even more. 3. Commercially successful writers and fan writers may, in part, be distinguished by the approaches taken to character selection and usage; we're also symbiotic organisms, where we get improved quality of life and they get fans who stick around and spend money for a really long time. 4. I...may have figured out how to get rich? Pretty sure I can't use it, but I think it just might work for someone with the skills. Let me know if you're the one who pulls it off, somewhere out there.

There's a lot more I could have said here - and, in fact, a lot more I did say in one draft or another. Sometimes I ended up cutting passages when I got to the end of them and realized I no longer agreed with my original premise, and sometimes I gave up on a point as so convoluted that it would have made it difficult to get back to the main point afterward. In several places, there's ideas that feel important, but I can't quite pull them out of the air yet. But here's where I think I'm going to wrap this one up for now.

[thinkrp]

we are a mere three - count 'em t h r e e - days away from opening! our team can't wait to share with you the world that we've created and for y'all to join in and build upon it with your own characters, requests, locations, and lore! today we're giving a bit of insight to our application process with our full app preview under the cut. we also have created a gdoc of our application fields so you can get a head start on some of your app prior to being on site. some of you may have caught that we revealed our graphic dimensions in our guidelines preview, but for a quick refresher, these are the image sizes needed to complete a profile: • one 250px by 400px still image • two 100px by 100px images • one 150px by 150px image to be uploaded avatar (max 1024kb) in addition to the above, our profiles include up to two optional 200px by 250px still images. without further ado, say hello to the beautiful profile crafted by the talented, brilliant, incredible athena which has over 200 different freeform code options to enjoy!

✨ view more about our app below! ✨

something to note, right off the bat: you don't have to read all of this. i tried to be thorough and go over different options for everything, but if you just want the pictures, go ahead and grab them. the key part is filling out the nifty gdoc chels made with the fields, honestly. the rest is just an explanation at some of our optional additions, as well as how things will look.

first, our freeform section is optional. the way we handle our applications, we just want a good understanding of your character. we get that character applications are often something of a jumping off point, something that can be built off of. as such, if you don't want to do them and want to put the necessary amount of information to get that grasp of your character into your census, by all means that is allowed. if you do this, we just ask that you choose the "profile shipper" option. if you select yes to this dropdown, your census information will also show in your profile. keep in mind, our profile has no word count minimum or maximum, so long as you get that understanding across and have something in all the mandatory fields, we're good. that said, if you choose to do a freeform, here's an overview of the codes available to you to use in it.

first up, we have what we call our "sections." when using these, they add much larger components to our freeform area, and are their own profile segment codes. here, they add an additional section to your profile, instead of just text and designs inside of text. you can see some of the categories to choose from, but something to note for this part is as follows:

images are full page width, so if you use the long and wide one, we recommend the image being at least 1000px wide. there are smaller choices available.

our playlists & music category include codes where you manually put in the information, ones where you put in a spotify link, or ones that allow for a youtube link.

our other two categories are very development based. there's line breaks, percentage bars, search history, a more in depth interview option, aesthetic options, and more.

next, we have text. everything in this category is for how you display and style text. the text codes should be placed inside one of our text background codes, though some have been made to be used outside of them. here's quick run through on what we have here:

accents are stylings. we have two options for how you choose to accent font, notably divided by if you choose to utilize a gradient or not. each of these will have a different bold, italic, and underline. also in this section are options for padding text.

text breaks are options to break up text. some of these are lines based on your member group colors, some are roman numerals, some are font icons, and then some. it's just if you choose to have a formal break in the section.

images are image codes you can throw into the text backgrounds. these will have options of 1, 2, 3, or 5 columns, come in different optional color schemes (gradient, non-gradient, background color), and come in three different shapes (circle, square, rectangle).

playlists & music are all manual in this area, just because if you want to utilize a bigger playlist, we have those in the sections above. that said, there is a plan to further develop this section post-opening.

titles and subtitles for text are just, but with options for direct titles and subtitles, options for long text, and more. everything that encompasses your average fancy section division text is in here.

once again, our miscellaneous is some development codes. there are some aesthetic options, some zodiac options, just fun little extras if you choose to use them.

last up, we have our text backgrounds. these are the sections that house text, where you would use the codes in the previous category to style them. these come in eight different color options (two backgrounds, three accents, three gradient directions) and are broken up in a variety of ways, such as:

text background sections with two columns will house codes that allow for two text areas side by side, as well as text that flows into two columns. please note that some of these will have titles built in. additionally, while our coding may show with only two, they allow for any number of additional text areas so long as it's divisible by two. the more you add, the more it'll adjust to include.

similar to the above, text background sections with three columns will just instead add a column to this. same rules apply regarding titles and adding, but this time they should be divisible by three.

our basic background just means there's no columns. in here, you'll find some that are just singular sections you can post around each other, others have text areas that flow together within a section just in a way that stacks. even still, it just means it's all in one column spread entirely across the freeform area. as a note, as mentioned previously, this area is wide.

lastly, our titled backgrounds just mean they are one column text areas with a title somewhere. some of these have titles on a side column, some have a title that fits as a row above the text area. it just has a section for you to give that text area a title, or a question, or a year, or a decade. whatever you want to put there, basically.

whew! [spongebob_huff_meme.gif] all that said, a lot of our codes come in the same eight different coloring options, or a variety of those as well as our text color, mostly so you can choose how you want to do your freeform, if you even choose to do one at all.

when i was originally creating the profile, i put the text box i would want, and the gradient i would want, and i put the image and development codes i would want, and... you see the problem. our mission upon conception of the idea of maybe making this site a reality was always to make a site where people could have creative freedom and see their vision come to life. i added a lot of the exact same option, but in a different color, or without a gradient, or in a different shape, etc because i felt that if we only offered freeform codes to make applications the way i would make mine, that wouldn't be meeting that mission. so... use them how it makes sense to you, the ways you prefer, ignore the ones you don't like. whatever works for you, we support. and, if this somehow doesn't fit your needs, after we're open to taking suggestions and adding to the repository post-opening. i might not be able to get to it immediately or might not be able to add all things, but i can definitely try.

anyway, this isn't what you're here for, is it? some previews of our profile application are below. if you're reading this, remember to remind me in chat to talk about the user control panel so i don't have to make a second long post like this. you have permission to tag me (athena) personally. if no one asks, this will be a special little treat for opening.

✨ give us the pictures already! ✨

the top of our profiles feature basic character information as well as four custom links and icons.

next up is our character basics information. if you have warnings in your app, the trigger warning section will show up. if you don't, it won't. the chosen character rating will display, marking your comfort in this character's interaction with these topics and following the common rpg rating. this has four tabs, and four sections: about the character, about the relationships, about the author, and an automatic tracker.

after an aesthetic breaker, we have our freeform area. if you choose to include it, it will show up. if not, it won't. this example uses one of our image sections, and then a text background section with different accents, titles, and breaks.

this is one of our development miscellaneous sections.

here's one with a traits section and a 3 column text background featuring title.

this profile also utilizes one of our other miscellaneous sections, this time for an interview.

a couple different example of some of our trait sections with bars.

an example of one of our two column options, this time utilizing a text header and looking through the code bank to see what numbers correlate to which colors to have them show up different colors throughout. typically this is 1 for main background, 2 for accent 1, 3 for accent 2, 4 for accent 3, 5 and 6 and 7 for different gradient directions, and 8 for our alternative background, as a note to refer back to when you can see these.

an example of the aesthetic break that sections of the freeform if you have it turned on, as well as our large image option.

another miscellaneous section for development usage.

one of our manual playlist sections, so you can see both how it rests and how it looks scrolled.

if you elect to turn on your profile shipper, it'll start off with a section with your information, followed by a section for your character's information. as you can see, i am wordy. you do not have to write this much. that single first line would have been enough about me. i could have used a meme. unfortunately, i am a blabbermouth, and it is incurable.

unfortunately for you all, and for the space of this post, my fellow staff also have incurable blabbermouth. i love them for it. here's a preview of how that profile shipper option looks with just text filled in for the about and hooks. i will repeat, you do not have to write this much. we are just very extra, as if the number of codes for this freeform didn't give that away.

okay, i think that about previews a little bit of everything. if there's anything specific you would like to see that i forgot, throw me an @ in the discord. i have to stop typing now or chels is going to go through and make this sound more like a staff member giving an announcement (like how it started, how it was supposed to be) and less like a coder losing all grips with reality while trying to explain this without looking like the conspiracy gif. alas, i think i've fallen into the latter.

have a wonderful day, y'all. i hope you enjoyed this preview, even if it lost the bit somewhere along the way. from all of us behind #thinkrp, we absolutely cannot wait to see you all on the 18th, this saturday, when we open.

[volantium]

fic writer interview tysm soph @its-all-papaya for the tag I love to yap about my fics

how many works do you have on AO3? 29

What's your total AO3 word count? 221,087

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

harley keener and the terrible, no good, reluctantly chaotic field trip to stark industries (mcu; 3,579)

the words of the prophet are written on the subway walls (good omens; 1,819)

sweet dreams, tennessee (mcu; 1,728)

a question of faith (stranger things; 1,424)

true north (assassin's creed; 892)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I reply to most, there's not necessarily rhyme or reason when I don't. Comments are always my fave because I love hearing about how people read and interpret my stuff and I'll always say thank you to people who comment.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? I am a sucker for a happy ending but worth all my time is probably the angsitest thing I've posted so far.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? see above, consequently most of my fics are happy endings. I would have to re-read my fics to get a sense of the happiest ending overall but it's probably the first prize bravery verse I think because that literally ends in a marriage.

Do you write crossovers? love me a good crossover but I've never written one in the traditional sense. I've written fusions where the setting from one fandom is used with the characters from another though, which you can find in art of the game.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? I wouldn't say hate but I have gotten some weird comments before over the fact I write in not American English ?

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes and it's usually the porn with feelings kind

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I'm aware of

Have you ever had a fic translated? there's an in progress translation of a question of faith into Chinese which I'm absolutely delighted to see was recently updated

Have you ever co-written a fic before? technically no but me and @sheps-shepherd edit each others stuff enough that I'm counting it

What's your all-time favorite ship? mckirk babey. love my silly little starfleet officers

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? oh literally everything I've ever started but in particular unto the edge of doom which is a corrupted!link/galink retelling of tears of the kingdom. and then there's two for the show which is a fake dating griddlehark, princess diaries-esque situation. I'm on holidays in a few weeks so hopefully I can write some. oh and also the landoscar driver!oscar, photographer!lando fake dating fic I posted a snippet of the other day called leading lines....I'm sensing a theme here.

What are your writing strengths? I have it on good authority that it's my prose and syntax. I write social science for my day job so my ability to cohesively and clearly explain research and data is another strength. I'm constantly working on both my fiction and non-fiction skills.

What are your writing weaknesses? bleugheeehhh sometimes I feel like I get too bogged down in the details. I also think I struggle with making each character distinct from the plot sometimes.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? it's fine I've probably done it. just add the translation in somewhere in the text or notes I guess.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? it was definitely a harry potter fic that I still have on my hardrive and has never seen the light of day and likely never will at this point. that was probably like. over ten years ago 🧍

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? there's a bunch I have unfinished wips for that I would love to finish and post... the zelda fic being probably the most among them. I've never written for Destiny but exploring my oc/guardian would be fascinating.

What's your favorite fic you've written? for a very long time it was art of the game but it's been usurped by six degrees of motion. she's the perfect fic to me. I don't think I'll ever write anything again the way I wrote six degrees.

ty again for the tag 🫶 obligatory love of my life tag for @sheps-shepherd and no pressure @landoscaring 🖤

[moonlitinks]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

Thank you to bestie @writingbyricochet for tagging me! CAN WE JUST START OFF WITH THAT LITTLE WRITING SNIPPET (AND THE KISS SCENE) THAT HAD ME SQUEALING??? I AM SO, SO EXCITED FOR PARADISE LIVED AND DIED. for anyone interested in this amazing writer, her answers are linked here!

1) What motivates you to write?

Whenever I sit there and read a good book in one sitting for hours. The magic. The characters. The romance. The ACTION. It just makes me realize that I want to ignite this same feeling to others, and I want to make my book feel like a second home for them to escape to <3

2) A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

This is my most recent writing snippet that I'm just SO HAPPY TO WRITE I DON'T KNOW WHY

“Well, I think you’re a selfish—” Rip. The sound of her skirt tearing caused her to pause, and the magpie picked and picked at the edges of her dress. What was it doing? Bari grabbed at the remaining pieces before she exposed herself and got kicked out due to indecency. He stared at her with indifference, scowling like he could not take her at all. “There,” he said. “Now you have no reason to cling to me.” He snatched the magpie from the air and Bari cried out in alarm. Even the bird seemed to sense the dangerous aura that the he emitted, pecking at the space in between them. Altair paused at where the magpie pecked, and his gaze slipped for a second, enough to Bari to snatch her bird back, and the lantern in the other.  She really did need to get rid of the lantern, but it wouldn’t move because, apparently, even an enchanted object believed that she didn’t know what she wanted. “Tell me to take a voice.”

3) Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

Altair, because he's so complex. I always love a character that is more mysterious and has a lot of history to unpack behind them because of all the awful things they've done, but a lot of guilt and regret following them, too. Seeing their transformation arc is BEAUTIFUL.

4) What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

Drafting and creating plot twists! And brainstorming / daydreaming about ideas. If you can't tell, I'm not much of a plotter haha.

5) What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Inner dialogue! And I think I really like getting in depth with characters, so you really know them.

6) What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

I think I love it because we're all honest about the writing process. Writing is really lonely and it actually can really drain you mentally without the right mindset. Personally, I have a lot of anxiety, so seeing people that understand me really makes me feel like I can write and simply enjoy it. It also makes me feel less alone.

7) A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Scrivener, my love. I also love watching author interviews like Chloe Gong and Stephanie Garber and just seeing what their drafting and publishing journey has been like, and it inspires me to write! Pinterest is also great for aesthetics, and Spotify is the best for playlists <3

8) A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

I love the Enchanted Kingdom (soon to be named...) I've built so far. It's filled with curses that have been unresolved in the first lives that these gods have lived, and now have reappeared to kinda ruin the Kingdom. My world is very fairytale slash studio ghibli esque, so I'm having so fun with the tidbits now!

9) What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Oh, God. DO I KNOW THIS PERSONALLY. I swear my rough patch hasn't ended... writing after nearly not writing for a good two years really does something to you.

Writing is all about mindset. It doesn't matter how much of an oddball idea you have. If you don't believe in it, it'll never get finished. Every time I doubted myself, my anxiety got so bad I shut down immediately. And I was so worried about what other people would think when reading my books, that I stopped myself from writing the books I want to write in the first place. Whether you have people around you discouraging to write, or can't believe in yourself, at the end of the day, it's just you and your book. And what's the point of writing if you're just following a trend? Or slugging yourself to finish a book you can't even connect with? Each book is a piece of yourself, and I think the greatest realization I had is to write the story you want to read. And it doesn't matter if it's about some girl who makes a deal with a god to save her sister, or about some alien on a spaceship, or about carnivals! Writing is so amazing because you can connect with readers who enjoy the same things you do, but it all starts with believing in yourself first.

When you get stuck, don't panic. If you haven't read an article about how Boredom Leads to Creativity, maybe take a quick break about writing that first! Writing isn't about who finishes the book first, but it's about quality and a game of luck. Maybe you need a break away from writing. Maybe you need to reconnect with your characters. Maybe you're just tired of toiling over and over again on this plot line.

There is no set method to returning to your project. But what has helped me is learning why I want to write. It doesn't matter how much I return to my world, or try to force my characters into more trauma if there's no reason why I'm writing this. Like, is it to enjoy it? Is it to have people experience these feelings I've felt months ago, and hold importance to me? Even the simplest reasons are the deepest ones. <3

And finally (sorry this advice is literally a hundred pages long, can you tell I'm procrastinating right now?), writing is meant to be serious, but it's also meant to be fun. The draft is simply just that: a draft. You can get ideas from random lines you wrote, or even take out characters to write a different book about! Don't ruin the one thing you've learned to love. Personally, writing in fun / ugly fonts: Arial, Comic Sans, etc., has really helped me focus on what I want to say instead of whether this book will ever get queried or not. Set a routine. Write everyday, or don't if you're more of a mood writer. The instant you feel the itch to write, JUST FUCKING DO IT, OKAY. THIS IS A SIGN. It doesn't matter if it's a scene in the third act and you're only on chapter 1. It's a sign that the story wants you, and only you to write it.

FINALLY FINALLY, I swear this is my last piece of advice, and the shortest: Believe in yourself, even when no one else does. Writing is hard, but rewarding. I believe in you. <3

wowooww that was long, tagging @orphicpoieses @macabremoons @halfbit @leisoree @sleepysuiteheart @the-chaotic-writer @heymacareyna @hallwriteblr @sculpture-in-a-period-drama @pixelw0rds @thetruearchmagos + other mutuals and anyone who wants to participate! i would love to hear your responses, PLEASE.

[apoptoses]

DANIEL -

3. What first drew you to this character? 12. If you could write effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what story (s) would you write for this character? 26. If you look for this character’s name on AO3, what tags are you including or excluding? 34. Does this character inspire you with little things in your daily life? 50. Link your fav song, playlist, aesthetic board, fan-fiction, reference pile, personal artwork, analysis post, meme, headcanon, or quote for this character. Whichever one (s) you are most comfortable with!

okay you also asked for Armand with the same questions so for the sake of organization i'm gonna do both in one post!!!

What first drew you to this character?

Daniel: I just really like what a great stand-in for the reader he can be because yeah, I'm sure EVERYONE who read these books at some point had the same thought- that they would want to be turned and they'd see immortality as a gift. I like his shameless love of these monsters, the line about liking kissing and snuggling with dead things? Made me absolutely insane. I like that he's not afraid to mouth off to something so dangerous while he's still mortal. I like his drinking issues, his weird craft fixations. Basically everything we got in the text was incredible imo, he's a fave!!

Armand: Honestly Armand didn't really click with me until QotD. In my mind he was a Louis-simp in interview, and then an angry bitchy little Jesus freak in tvl, but then he shows up in QotD and he's putting cigarettes down the garbage disposal and throwing money at Daniel to make him teach him about international calls and I was like- damn, this one is a FREAK deep down. So seeing him be erratic and out of place and curious about the world made me view him in a new light, and the moments of gentleness he shows later in the book really pulled the pieces together for me.

If you could write effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what story (s) would you write for this character?

Fuck, I really want some newly turned Daniel at Night Island for both of them. Like what went wrong? What kind of maker was Armand with all these ghosts from his past around? How long did it take for things to fall apart and what were the ups and downs of that period like? I really, really wanna work through that but I don't have even the slightest inkling of where I want to begin yet.

If you look for this character’s name on AO3, what tags are you including or excluding?

So generally I start with fic rated Explicit or Mature, not just for pervert reasons lmao But I feel like if a writer can write some smut that really gets the characters and explores something interesting about them then most likely their fics with lower ratings are gonna be interesting and not pure woobification. (also if they're writing the kind of smut I like? Then we're likely similar flavors of freak and I know anything else they do is gonna be safe)

Also while I wanna write some vampire on vampire stuff, I generally prefer Daniel to be mortal for bodily exploitation purposes 😂

Does this character inspire you with little things in your daily life?

Kacy pls you know what things have been like for me lately, every two weeks something is going on that has me feeling like I'm living the Full Molloy lmao I'll never live down the experience of sitting in my car at 10pm and having that liquor store owner come outside and wave to me while Lixx runs around inside with an armful of bottles of wine for my shot nerves.

Anyways in all seriousness I think about Daniel's speech to Armand when he's dying a lot:

“But don’t you see,” Daniel said, “all human decisions are made like this. Do you think the mother knows what will happen to the child in her womb? Dear God, we are lost, I tell you. What does it matter if you give it to me and it’s wrong! There is no wrong! There is only desperation, and I would have it! I want to live forever with you.”

The refusal to ruminate or get sucked into thinking of all the possible wrong outcomes, that at the end of the day there is no wrong decision there's only action- I think there's something poignant there and I would do better to not be like Armand, convinced everything will turn out poorly in the end.

Link your fav song, playlist, aesthetic board, fan-fiction, reference pile, personal artwork, analysis post, meme, headcanon, or quote for this character. Whichever one (s) you are most comfortable with!

The fanart of Daniel that will always live rent free in my head is @nightislandofficial's art of him in tank top and cut off shorts bitching about 'give me what I want' lmao (though honestly all of their comics featuring Armand and Daniel send me, what a fandom gift)

Your series the Usher will forever have me in a chokehold like. Fic of all time!!! Also the thing you wrote for my wedding 🥹

God, for headcanons- anything stupid. Any headcanon that is really just a shitpost.

And my favorite quote for the two of them, just off the top of my head, would be Daniel saying "let me be a lover in the savage garden with you". He really had some killer lines, despite what little he got lol

[wokeleftistmob]

Aromantic Reigen! (also a bit of aspec Serizawa as well)

This is a PowerPoint slides version of this post here! The other post also has links to related posts and the original images. ID is in alt text with a full image description underneath the cut.

the icon was drawn by @azuremist on tumblr!

[id in alt text]

Full image description under cut

[ID: A thirteen slide PowerPoint presentation by reigenarotaka. The title of the presentation is "Why Reigen Arataka is aromantic". Accompanied on the title page are an aromantic flag and a picture of Reigen Arataka from Mob Psycho 100.

Slide 2: Text on the slide reads:

Reigen shows no interest in intimate relationships with others and actually mocks romantic couples.

His mother sends him an email telling him to get an actual job and compares him to someone who just got married. Reigen is unimpressed by this.

He is considered very attractive by his lady clients but never shows any interest in others at all.

Slide 3: Text on the slide reads:

"He has this conversation with Dimple which is very aspec in vy opinion".

Below this is a manga panel. Reigen tells Dimple, “Lust? But what of love, Dimple? Not that I want to have this conversation with you.” Dimple replies, “That ought to be my line, you son of a bitch.”

Slide 4: Text on the slide reads:

"This next entire scene takes place when Mob asks Reigen for advice on asking a girl out and the entire scene is very aromantic. Reigen at first deflects to Serizawa and tries to get him to answer Mob’s question."

Beside this is a manga panel. Reigen asks Serizawa, “But there must’ve been some girl you liked, right?”. Serizawa replies, “Nope, none."

Slide 5: Text on the slide reads:

"Serizawa then tells Mob this:"

Beside the text is a manga panel. Serizawa says, “Having someone that you like… I’m jealous. Shigeo-kun, if you feel the same no matter what anyone tells you,”

Further text reads: "What an aromantic mood"

Slide 6: Text on the slide reads:

"Reigen then starts to answer Mob’s question."

Beside this is a manga panel. Reigen looks at his flip phone while speaking to Mob. He tells Mob, “Cleanliness, look around the store, no alcohol, listen well, build the mood, smiles are important, make her heart pound, a heavy atmosphere is no good, premise of marriage, invite her to a meal, sincerity”.

Serizawa notices the flip phone and thinks, “Ah… He’s cheating! Reigen-san doesn’t know either?!!”. Mob sweats nervously at Reigen’s advice.

Reigen tells him, “But in the end…,” he snaps his phone shut, “You don’t need a strategy. If you want to form a deep connection with someone, it’s no use pretending to be someone you’re not.”

Further text on the slide reads:

googling romantic advice… not very allo is it

“Reigen-san’s cheating!” also not a very allo response

premise of marriage (chill, mob’s in middle school)"

Slide 7: A manga panel. Reigen says, “If this was about me, I probably would turn it into some cheap contest. Or rather, in my case, if I exposed my true self, I would get soundly rejected…”

Serizawa notices this and nervously sweats, thinking to himself, “So Reigen-san is also pessimistic in that respect… He seems so popular with the lady clients, though…"

Slide 8: A manga panel. Reigen says, “Tsubomi-chan and Mob… They can exist without distorting each other… I hope I can become a partner like that…” Serizawa takes notice of this and is surprised.

A caption above the image reads: "Very aromantic vibes here"

Slide 9: Text at the top of the slide reads:

"The last image here is from an interview in a fanbook where Reigen is asked about his previous romantic relationships and his views on marriage."

Below this is an interview answer by Reigen over an aromantic flag. It reads:

“In love? Me? Why are you looking at me while smiling? Do you think I’m lying to you? Oh, my. Well, I can’t just talk about it casually as it would infringe on the privacy of the other party, you know. I’ve had a few passionate love affairs in my time. Remember that time when I held a woman on the bow of a certain huge ship? Huh? There’s a similar scene in a movie? Did I remember it wrong…? Okay, let’s move on.. Getting married is one of the many possible lifestyle options available to you. Follow your own heart.”

Text below this reads: "How do you get more aro than this?"

Slide 10: Text on the slide reads:

In conclusion, vi love aromantic Reigen for many reasons.

Vi like that he is never presented with a love interest, that the show never acts like he needs one in order to function.

Vi enjoy how he is an adult without romantic relationships who is not judged for or seen as incomplete without them.

Slide 11: Text on the slide reads:

He is a popular character and considered attractive (within universe and out of universe) but he is still seen as a complete person even without an intimate partnership.

Vi wish we had more characters who were simply just allowed to be romanceless.

Beside this is Reigen pointing confidently at himself.

Slide 12: A collage of multiple aromantic flags colorpicked from Reigen, including two aro, an aroace, an aro neu, a non-SAM aro, and an alloaro. In the top left corner is a drawn icon of Reigen over an aromantic flag. He smiles confidently, raises an eyebrow, and bends a wrist. The icon was drawn by @azuremist on tumblr.

Slide 13: A collage of Reigen over various aromantic flags.

The first seven icons show the same image of Reigen over different flags. He smiles confidently, raises an eyebrow, and bends a wrist. The flags are: aromantic, aroace, a sparkly aro flag, a different sparkly aro flag, a sparkly alloaro flag, a colorpicked aro flag, and a color-adjusted aro flag.

The next five icons show various Reigens over the regular aromantic flag. They are: a manga Reigen with a neutral expression, Reigen looking forward with a bored expression, Reigen drinking from a mug while he is shirtless and has a towel around his neck, Reigen holding a birthday cake and trying not to cry while his eyes turn red, and Reigen talking on his flip phone and looking to the side.

The next five icons are various Reigens over sparkly aromantic flags. They are: Reigen resting his chin on his hand, sweating nervously, and smiling; Reigen closes his eyes and rests his elbow on a ledge. He is cast in shadow with a rim of light on his right side. He is not wearing his suit jacket; Reigen’s photo from his website. He sits and smiles at the camera, looking off-model; Reigen aims a gun at the viewer with an angry expression; and Reigen confidently destroys Ishiguro’s gravity spheres.

The final image on the slide is Reigen smirking at the viewer. He is over a semi-transparent aromantic flag.

End ID]

[mirageofadesert]

C-Drama Review: Only For Love

Broadcast: Hunan TV, Mango TV, 2023, 36 Episodes Genre: Romance

My Rating 4.5/10

A drama that stays a bit too true to its source material, ultimately failing to translate the charm of the web novel into a TV adaption.

Acting: 6/10 World-building: 3/10 Production: 5/10 Storytelling: 4/10 Pacing: 4/10 Re-watch Value: 3/10 

Summary with minor spoilers

Zheng Shuyi (played by Bai Lu) is an ambitious reporter for a financial newspaper. In order to write another cover story, she wants to interview the well-known entrepreneur Shi Yan (played by Dylan Wang). The only distraction in her ambition comes in from of her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, who is cheating on her with another woman. Zheng Shuyi vows revenge by focussing even more on her career - and seducing the rich uncle of her ex's new girlfriend. A series of misunderstandings lead to her inadvertently mistaking Shi Yan for him. And then there's Shi Yan's real niece Qin Shi Yue (played by Shen Yu Jie), who soon starts working as an intern at Zheng Shuyi newspaper under a secret identity. Follow their tangled love story through 36 episodes of misunderstandings, awkward car rides and boring business talk.

My review - spoilers ahead!

While I never have high expectations for modern cdramas, the combination of Bai Lu and Dylan Wang made me excited. There were quite a few scenes that made me giggle like a teenage girl, and some of the tension arced made me come back to the show every day. However, there are a lot of things wrong with this show.

The main problem is the failed attempt to transfer the charm ad humor of the web novel directly to the drama, without making adaption based on the different type of media. There were many scenes that had the typical web novel/manga elements - frozen characters, puppy eyes, awkward silence. As drawings, these are usually expressed with additional text or symbols. Since those kinds of edits are only done in variety shows, all we got were the character staring at each other or making awkward facial expressions. The show also failed to make use of music to deliver the meaning of these scenes.

This left us with a drama, that lacked chemistry between the leads ad made the acting feel wooden and boring. And that in a drama with the queen of chemistry!

On top of that, the show failed to have an interesting secondary plot. Nearly all the exciting scenes and awaited reveals were linked to the niece, who became my favorite character. The work-related scenes were incredible badly written. At times, it felt like they had just used place-holder lines instead of writing actual dialogue.

All of this contributed to a disappointing performance of every actor in the cast. I personally don't think that Dylan Wang's dubbing was an issue because of his higher voice, but I think the line delivery from the whole cast was not well done. It took away the little emotions the story allowed in the first place.

The first couple of episodes, I was waiting for the drama to switch tone, based on Bai Lu's usually choice in scripts. However, Only For Love stayed true to its storytelling style from the start to the unremarkable finish. It had its cute and funny moments, but overall it's the weakest drama I have seen Bai Lu star in so far. Maybe after all the angst, it was time for something light! I would recommend watching this Only For your Love for the actors!