#also the fact i can retake it 2-3 times if i fail. which i like to think i won't

[entryn17]

exam stress lessened because i remembered i'm aiming to pass, not get a high grade. university culture shock yayy <3

[littlebetesofeverything]

Listen, I know there are so many posts on how to advocate for yourself but I need to share this with people.

I have just spent the last 10 months in medical school, where I lost my grandpa only 6 weeks into my program. When I was scrambling on how to continue through school, I had so many talks with so many different people from my friends all the way to Vice Dean of Provost I think. In those weeks between his passing and his funeral, I stayed at school, went to classes and obviously failed a practical. Did I also go to therapy and continue processing my grief and other things? Of course. But the point here is all the official conversations I had about my academics.

I found that the doctors giving lectures and the on campus student services were very nice and sympathetic to my situation. They all wanted to help me get through and one even offered to speak on my behalf to waive one of the failed attempts at my practical. He got shot down but the fact he did that was so amazing to me. The learning specialist and head of student services sat down and talked through ways that I could make up the time and how I could study to keep up with everyone else. My friends made sure I could cry and told me skipping one lecture was not the end of the world.

When I had a meeting with the Dean, she gave me more or less an ultimatum: take a leave of absence or power through a failed class and make it up via remediation. I argued that a leave of absence that lasted only a couple weeks would be enough to let me get my head back on straight, but she said the rest of the school year or nothing. This meant I would be repeating the school year if I chose that option. She was not very empathetic to my grief and tried to say that she knew what it was like to lose a grandpa but our situations were very different.

This woman had to have sold her soul to get to where she was, I could sense it. Her and a few others in the upper hierarchy were very black and white about the whole thing. In the end, I chose to power through the school year and take that F with remediation. Unfortunately, I also had to remediate one other course but that was the fault of a bitch doctor that refused to accept challenges to spelling and semantics but that is a different can of worms.

And so this entire semester I have been studying my ass off to pass without any curve and I DID IT. I maintained a passing grade in all of my classes, including the transition to second year course on pathology which was hella scary tbh. Then, I had 2 weeks to cram for the final remediation that would determine if I repeat the year or get to go on to second year.

I studied my ass off, and i felt confident, good even about the test on Friday. I take it and a couple questions in I start to rethink this, because these questions do not match with what I was told to study. At least 3 questions I KNEW had to be jokes, because I did NOT study this shit. By 9 PM i get an email stating that I failed and I have to start that breakdown. I respond back saying, "thank you for the update but I felt the test was unfair."

I spend the weekend crying, telling my mom and a few friends that check up on me, planning how to kick ass with my repeat year. I wake up this morning, and not even ten minutes after I wake up do I have a phone call from my school. The head of student services that I emailed back on Friday was calling to let me know she believed me and followed up on the test.

This woman had pretty much been in the passenger seat of my school experience as soon as I found out I would be missing my test for my grandpa's funeral. She had made plans with me and made sure I knew that I had improved with each test I took and contacted me with all updates to my remediation schedule. So this woman knew what hell I had been through all year and had wanted to help me so much.

It turns out that I WAS given the wrong version of the test. In response to that I get to retake it and I get to choose when to take it. I decided 3 weeks would be enough time to clean myself up and study well enough that I blow the test out of the water.

So remember, if something seems off, speak up. But also, find those people that are going to LISTEN to you when you say it. I could have gone above this woman or complained to someone else and been ignored or dismissed. This woman took time out to both confirm my thoughts and then called my cell to speak directly to me instead of emailing. She also was willing to apologize for all the feelings that I had been dealing with all weekend. I will forever be grateful to her for this and just wanted to share that advocating for yourself can and will pay off.

[doberbutts]

So this may be a bit more of a long form answer. But what would you say are the most difficult parts of the CGC and CGCA/CGCU, and what are your basic-level recommendations to set a dog up for success?

The most difficult part of the CGC is, to me, always the supervised separation. It is the once piece of the OG CGC that I really wish was different or even removed. I've taken more than 100 dogs through the CGC either as clients or as my own personal dogs and that is where almost everyone struggles. Unfortunately it's just so different from anything your dog is going to see in life- the person you leave your dog with cannot engage with or really talk to your dog and let's be honest, when is that ever going to happen that you leave your dog with someone who does their best to ignore your dog and won't talk to them if they become upset that you've left? Even at a vet or a groomer, the dog is either going immediately into a kennel or it's going onto a table to be interacted with, never just stood with like an unmoving statue while your dog goes ?????????

CGCA to me is all obedience where the CGC is mostly temperament. Because I am so obedience focused, honestly, I often find it easier than the CGC. Really by the time you pass a CGC you should also be pretty close to the CGCA, maybe some tweaks here and there but it's basically just slightly harder obedience and more distractions. I've never failed a CGCA and none of my clients who I thought were ready for it have either. The hardest thing I think is probably the dropped bag, as that can get really hard for even the most sound dogs, and the food distraction which you need a solid leave it for and because CGC doesn't use food distractions/leave its it can blindside someone who went in unprepared expecting more of the same from the first level.

CGCU I have only taken once and I have never brought a client through it. Sushi and I passed on our first go but she tried very hard to fail. The hardest thing for her was the 3 minute downstay outside of a business- she would get bored or want to say hi to someone and again this is very different from what I think most people would do when sitting on a bench out in public. Most of the time the dog would be allowed to get up, readjust, come over to you for a pet before laying back down, be given an item to amuse themselves with, etc. This was inching towards actual competition downstay level where she had to be like a rock, and that was pretty hard for her.

As far as my recommendations for success? Take a class, in fact take multiple classes. If we divide things up into 6 weeks, I would say expect to take a level 1 and 2 class, a cgc level class, a cgca level class, and a cgcu level class. So that's 5 different 6 week classes, 30 weeks or roughly 7 months, before you're there and that's at best. A lot of my clients who have young dogs end up needing to retake a class here or there because their dogs are just too mentally young for that kind of pressure. Taking away treats in training can be a very difficult hurdle for many dogs and handlers. Train harder than the test- for Sushi's downstays we trained for 5-10 minute downstays or stays at 50-100 paces which is way harder than she'd ever encounter ether in life or on the test. For Sushi's leave its we trained with hot dogs in a dog bowl that she had to ignore as she heeled and recalled past them. Loose leash walking was taught offleash so that leash pressure was never a factor for her ability to determine where I wanted her to be.

[moonflower-31]

I Won't Forget You - Spencer Reid x Reader

(This is gonna be a series, so keep an eye out for this one if you like it.)

Summary: So imagine you're in the CM universe if you will. And you're just graduating from the academy. You're looking to join the BAU. You have hyperthymesia, the ability to never forget anything. Except for rare occasions. After the final exam, you run into one Dr. Spencer Reid. Eventually, you get accepted to shadow the BAU on a trial run as an agent. But you have a past that may endanger those you work with. Also, you love Spencer. Cause who doesn't?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader (this makes sense only for storyline, sorry 😞)

Masterlist

Please leave comments! I love reading them ❤ 💕

~~~~~~~~

Nervous. So dreadfully nervous you were and am. But here we are. No turning back now. 

"Hello, cadets. And welcome to your final exam for your graduation. We hope all of you do well. The FBI, as you know, has many branches. 56, to be exact. We hope that for those of you who pass, that you'll find your calling in one of our offices. For those of you who don't, don't fret. We always allow you to retake the last semester and the exams. The FBI is in desperate need of new agents." The speaker in front of me is seriously loud. Though you don't dare speak up about it. 

Associate Deputy Director Gail Franklin spoke with such elegance. She obviously has had practice, you think to yourself as you watch the grey-haired woman speak atop the raised portion of the testing room. You couldn't count how many people even if you tried. And you don't forget anything. 

"Psst!" 

You groan quietly and try to ignore your idiot but golden-hearted friend who couldn't sit still. 

"Psst! (Y/N)!"  

You ignore him again, focusing on Franklin's closing commentary.  

"I wish you all good luck. Please refrain from beginning your exam until all test-takers have received their tests. Thank you." She then proceeded to turn and begin her trek out of the room, the click of her heels being the only reminder she was even here. 

"Psst-! Come on, (Y/N/N)!" 

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. Finally, you turn your head and give your dear friend a very annoyed look. "What is it, Gabe? Like seriously, you couldn't sit still through one teansy tiny lecture? From the ADD herself?" You tease, pulling out a #2 pencil from your bag. Sure, most everyone will be using pens, but you remembered that the test scanners prefered graphite.

Gabriel whined teasingly at your jap. "No fair, (Y/N/N)! I just wanted to talk to one of my best friends. That too much to ask?" He sassily remarks, flipping his floppy golden-brown hair. 

You rolled your eyes and couldn't help but feel a smile form on your face. You loved him like a brother. But that also meant he annoyed you like one too. 

"You couldn't have waited till she was done?" You couldn't help but question him further. It was one of his weaker points. Under pressure, he tended to get uncomfortable. 

"Nope." Popping the 'p' he blew a kiss at you. "Anyway, how prepared do you think you are for this test? I almost made it an all-nighter trying to cram everything in again. Fuck me and my terrible memory." You grinned and giggled under your hand. 

"Gabriel, I told you, if you ever needed help studying I would be there. You're gonna do fine." 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Easy for you to say. You didn't even have to study with that god-given gift of a memory you got." 

You bite the inside of your cheek, faking a slight chuckle. Everyone thought remembering everything was a superpower. Sure, if you call superpowered headaches and occasional dizzy spells a super-side-effect. 

So, yes, you had the 'gift' of having hyperthymesia. The disorder where you never forgot anything. Of course, there were a few rare occasions, like you could only remember a handful of memories from before you were four. But other than that, you had nothing from your earliest childhood. It made you feel semi-normal. 

"It isn't a gift, Gabe. It's only a gift in the academic field. And I'm lucky to have a 'genius' IQ." You huffed in response to Gabriel's little comment. 

"Yeah yeah, but you have a filing cabinet for a memory. So why study? You have it all up there." He asks, taking the test packet from the assistant that had finally made it to him. 

"Studying, as a science, is a great way to improve your memory, quicken your speed of processing data and important information, and you stretch your mind's capacity for learning. Also it helps me understand a topic better. Just like anyone else." 

You take the packet from the assistant and widen your eyes slightly at the size. It was massive. At least the size of your tiniest textbook. You could almost hear Gabriel whimper next to you as he saw how big the packet was. At least you all had three and a half hours. And it wasn't required to get through all of them. Just try to do your best on the written response ones.

You turn to Gabriel and hold out your fist. "Good luck." 

Gabriel sighed and gave you a smile before pumping his fist gently against yours. Soon after he made a dramatic explosion noise that only you could hear. You roll your eyes and shake your head again, turning your full attention finally to the large test in front of you. 

Here goes nothing, you tell yourself. 

○●♡●○  

Remarkably, you think you did okay. Of course, you finished the test in the first hour and a half, but who's counting? Certainly not you. 

You rub your aching wrists from so much essay work as you exit the testing room. Even with an unbeatable memory like yours, your hands were still human. So they hurt like a bitch. 

You sigh and take a quick seat on the bench outside the room, probably sticking out like a sore thumb in a crowd of other cadets who weren't in your graduating class. But you tried not to pay it any mind. You were used to being the 'odd man out'. 

You check your phone and smile down at the message your other friend, Iris, had sent you. She wasn't testing for the FBI like you and Gabe. No she was a barista with some mean skills at mixing new drinks. She wanted to open her own cafe and Gabriel and you wanted to support her. She'd been there for you every second of the last five years. You owed her at least a little thanks. 

When you look up, you couldn't help but notice a tall, lanky looking man with long, curly hair walking towards you as he looked for…something. You couldn't tell. Probably a map. He had a gun holstered on the side of his belt along with a blurry ID you couldn't read from so far away. But it looked like it said FBI. 

You stifled a soft snicker. This guy could say he was a teacher's assistant and if he didn't have the gun on him, you would've believed him. 

And that's when you caught his eye and instantly you recognized who this lost puppy was. More specifically, who he belonged to. 

"Hi, uh I'm Dr. Spe-" he began, looking a bit nervous as he began to introduce himself. 

"Dr. Spencer Reid. From the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I've heard of you." You accidentally interrupt. "Sorry. I don't forget names easily. I don't forget them ever, really." 

Nervously, you rub your hand on your neck, waiting for his response. And surprisingly, it wasn't one you expected. 

Spencer widened his eyes a bit in wonder that someone knew of him that he hadn't met before on a case. And she knew which branch he worked in. He blushed a bit, growing a tad tongue tied. 

"S-sorry, I'm Cadet (L/N)." 

Spencer raised an eyebrow. He wondered why you didn't give him your first name. But he didn't pry. It was your personal business. And besides, it wasn't like he needed to know your first name. 

"U-uh yeah, actually. I-I wanted to ask you if you knew where I could get a glimpse of a map. Just so I can find my way around. I'm here for a 'lecture' that I'm helping give the graduating class of FBI agents." He couldn't help but brag a tiny bit. "It doesn't start for another 3 hours, but I like to be prepared." 

You smiled up at this tall nerd. And an incredibly cute one at that. He was so out of place you sympathized with him. He was basically you. In like, every academic scene you've ever been in. 

"Understandable. I'll be seeing you there hopefully. I'm a part of that class." You grinned. "But yeah, here's the map," you say, pulling up a digital map on your phone. Spencer leaned over your shoulder and looked it over. You couldn't help but shiver slightly at the sound of his breathing so close to your ear. It felt eerily calming. 

"Really?" He asked after he pulled away from your shoulder. "T-thank you for the map, by the way." He adds last-minute. You giggle gently and nod. 

"Yep. The test only started an hour and about 45 minutes ago, so I gotta wait a little while." Groaning playfully you shrug at him, crossing your arms to get more comfortable. You wouldn't lie, he was seriously cute. Of course, you'd seen him before on your secret internet dives. But in-person was so much better than sitting behind a screen gawking over a photo. An ID photo no less. 

"You already finished?" 

There it was. The immediate doubt of your intelligence everyone had when you accidentally showed your smarts. You sighed. "Yeah. Kinda hard not to with an IQ of 167 and a memory that pretty much never fails." You shrugged nervously, looking away as you braced yourself for his incoming doubt. 

"Oh. Hyperthymesia, right?" He inquires. You blink a few times and look at him like he just said something so foreign you didn't know how to respond. 

"U-uh...y-yeah. It's rare, but I got it. How'd you know?" 

"It was more of an educated guess. See, you bite the inside of your cheek when you're nervous," he points out. You in fact, were biting your cheek as he spoke. "And you seem unintimidated by me despite knowing of my position. You only grew nervous when I mentioned anything academic. Which proves to me you're used to being the smartest kid in the room. And having to explain why every time." He finishes, leaving you a gigantic puddle of impressed and embarrassed that he had profiled all of that from only a few minutes from conversation. 

"Geez, didn't expect to get profiled today. You're really good at it, you know. Well, I mean you would be. 'Cause you w-work for the BAU." You begin to ramble, groaning internally for suddenly turning into an awkward blob in front of this professional. 

Spencer smiled a bit wider and let out a soft laugh. "So, y-you want to work for the BAU?" 

You look at him puzzled for a moment before you remember that he'd been profiling you for the past five or so minutes. "Right, profiler…" you mutter. "Y-yeah. It's kinda been a dream of mine for years. Police officer never really appealed to me. I wanted to get into the real deal. Catch the hard criminals. Give myself a challenge, you know?" You rattle off, realizing just how comfortable you'd grown to Spencer in the short conversation you've had. 

Spencer nodded. "It was always a dream of mine as well. I was kinda groomed for it." He admitted. "S-so… any jitters at all? Did you know that t-the common feeling of nervousness or 'butterflies' is actually caused by the reduced blood flow to the abdomen. Your stomach's sensory nerves sense the lack of oxygen and blood and it produces the fluttery feeling you get before a test or before a big performance." 

You smile brighter. "Really? I never thought of that. I always just thought it was a signal your brain sent or something. That's interesting. I'm kinda glad I won't forget that." 

Spencer felt his surprise increase again. You hadn't cut him off. There was no 'Sorry I asked' or awkward asking if he always did this. You actually listened. And you wanted to hear more! He didn't think he'd ever find someone willing to listen. 

"H-heh…" Spencer chuckled. "W-well did you know that most people will forget 50 percent of the information you've been taught in one hour will be forgotten? A-and in 24 hours more than 75% of the information is gone. That's why studying is so important. It helps retain that information so it doesn't 'slip' as easily." He begins to rattle off again, quite glad he found someone who actually wanted to hear his statistics. It was a good cover for his nervousness about talking to this incredibly gorgeous woman. 

You tilt your head in interest, laughing gently. "That's what I keep saying! Yet everyone always asks 'Why study if you remember everything?'" You exclaim, making a whiny voice expression for the impression of absolutely every bully you'd had ever. 

A darker skinned man, who was much more gifted physically walked over as you and Spencer continued your conversation. He wrapped an arm around Spencer teasingly and nodded to you. 

"Hope this pretty boy ain't bothering you baby girl." He greets. "He's great once you get to know him." 

Spencer just looks annoyed at this man's sudden presence. "Seriously, Morgan? We were actually having a conversation before you butted in." He grumbled annoyedly. Then you remember the face. This was SSA Derek Morgan. You'd seen him in some pictures with Spencer. He wasn't too bad looking. In fact, you knew Iris would climb him faster than a squirrel did a tree. But Spencer was a bit more your type. 

Morgan raised an eyebrow and smirked at you. "Oh really? So now pretty boy's talking to girls?" He teases, letting Spencer free from his suffocating hold. He then extends a hand out to me. "Derek-" he started. 

"Derek Morgan. SSA from the BAU. Yeah, I know about you." You grinned. He looked you up and down a bit in the same interest that Spencer had. That soon was replaced by a confident smile. 

"So you know of me." He said in a clearly flirtatious tone. "Don't tell me you've been searching up my pictures in your freetime, babygirl." He flirts. 

You roll your eyes and take his hand, shaking it firmly. "No, I haven't. Though I have heard of you from my classes. But if I'm honest?" You begin. "I'm really wishing I could forget that comment." You sassily respond. He laughed. 

"No one ever forgets, Babygirl." He grinned. 

Spencer sighed and turned to Morgan in annoyance. "Morgan." He deadpanned. You looked towards him and giggled a little. It was clear Spencer had wanted to talk to only you. Maybe it was something to do with the statistics. You had a feeling that he felt he was finally being listened to. 

"What? I'm just introducing myself to one of the new cadets." He insists, raising two hands up in defeat. 

"Did you just profile me without my permission?" You ask him with fake offense. He laughed. 

"Did I need to ask, sweetheart?" He asks. You chuckle. 

"Guess not." You shrug. 

"What's your name, beautiful? A pretty face has got to have a pretty name." He flirted. 

"I'm Cadet (L/N)."

Morgan raised an eyebrow, fully ready to ask why the hold-up on your first name when Spencer thankfully saved you an explanation. 

"She didn't share it with me either. Probably a mode of trust." He explains. Morgan shrugged. 

"I'll find out eventually. You'll give it away." He insists. 

"Uh huh, sure I will." You tease. 

"Reid, Morgan, we need to prepare." You hear a third voice call the two men away from you. You stand a bit on your tiptoes to get a good look at who it was that was speaking. 

Aaron Hotchner walked towards the three of you almost with a purpose. So much confidence in one man. 

"Who is this?" He asked. 

"I'm Cadet (L/N), Agent Hotchner. It's a pleasure to meet you." You greet, holding out a hand to him. Hotch raised an eyebrow at you in interest before shaking your hand in earnest. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well. I've heard of your excellent grades and work in your studies. I hope to see you among the enlistees requesting the BAU." He greets, letting his hand fall back to his side. 

"That's the plan, Agent Hotchner." You chip pleasantly. Morgan seems genuinely surprised.  

"Wait, you're interested in the BAU? Profile me." He insisted. You blush from the sudden spotlight. 

"W-what?" You ask. 

"Morgan, that's enough." Hotch warns. 

"Leave her alone, Morgan." Spencer expressed. 

"No, it's fine." You assure. "Well, from the looks of your attire compared to your colleagues, I'd say you hate wearing formal clothing. Prefer to be comfortable. Your consistent flirty personality is mostly a show, as you wouldn't really flirt with someone you just met the way you flirted with me. So you either have someone in mind, or have a partner at home. And besides that, the way you greeted Dr. Reid proves you think of him as a younger brother, and you treat him like the brother you never had." You finished, a pleading voice in the back of your head screaming at you in hopes that you hadn't gone too far. 

Instead of being offended, Morgan began to smile and grinned, clearly impressed. "She's actually pretty good." He comments to Hotch, glancing to Spencer and then back to you. "You'd make a good profiler." He compliments. You smile happily and full of relief at him. 

"I sure hope so. Anyway, you should probably get going to the auditorium. The mics are a pain to tune and figure out, so I'd get it done now." You giggle slightly. 

Spencer nodded and smiled at you. "T-thank you, again. Cadet (L/N)." 

You couldn't help but blush a tad as he said your title. "Of course, Dr. Reid. Anytime you need directions." You tease. 

Morgan raised an eyebrow. "What about me?" He teased back. You mock think about it for a moment before you reply. 

"Sorry, I think you can figure it out, pretty boy." You joke, winking at him. He smiled brightly at your sass, chuckling a bit. 

Hotch then got your attention very easily. "It was a pleasure to meet you again, (L/N)." 

"You too. Good luck on the lecture." You bid them all fair well and turn around to take your seat again. 

"Ooh, somebody's in looove~!" You hear Gabriel sing in a sing-song voice. You chuckle and shake your head. 

"I am not in love, Gabriel. You just started eying the pretty boy I was talking to. You know, handsome black guy?" You tease. 

"Hmm, yeah, probably. But seriously. I saw you looking at that other kid, the professor's-aide-looking guy, like he was a mountain of sugar. And I know sugar." He teased, sipping a coke he had obviously bought after the test. 

"Oh shut up. Have you heard from Iris yet?" You ask. 

"Nope. She's probably busy over at The Bean. We should go visit. Tell her about your rendezvous with Mr. Teacher's aid." Gabriel snickered. 

"No, we are not telling Iris anything. You know how she gets. She gets all protective, and then nobody wants to go out with me cause they're all scared of her." You groan, stealing his coke for a moment. 

Gabriel smirks at you. "So you admit that you like him?" He teases. You immediately realize your mistake and groan, covering your reddening face. 

Gabriel chuckled and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. "Come on, sugar-tits. Let's get out of here for a lil' bit. Come back for that 'lecture' in like an hour." He teased. You bring your hands away from your face and sigh. 

Did you really like him? Maybe. It was probably just an internet crush. Nothing more. It wasn't like it could get worse. 

[lady-griffin]

I Entered a Dangerous Dungeon

Acchan’s Story

Acchan’s story was very touching and sad. I thought the anime did a great job adapting her POV chapters concisely into this episode.

I love the scene of Acchan reading Past Katarina’s last text message and breaking down crying.

That got me right in the feels.

One slight criticism, is that in the Light Novel we learn that because of Past Katarina, Acchan has made many friends and is able to live on without her best friend. Because of the positive impact Past Katarina had on her life and how much she changed it for the better. 

So, while in the anime, Acchan does say she will live on without her best-friend, I feel like it doesn’t come across as strongly as it did in the Light Novel.

That being said. I thought Acchan’s story went really well with the flow of the episode.

In LN Vol.2 her POV honestly felt disruptive and broke the flow of the story for me. So definite kudos to the anime for fixing that.

The text message scene got me, but so did Past Katarina’s funeral.

It’s easy to forget, with Katarina’s silliness, density and antics, that she died tragically young in her former life. 

So well done on the anime’s part for hitting me right in the heart with that reminder.

--

Sadness and friendship aside. I like how Fortune Lover appears in Katarina’s Past Life.

The poster on Acchan’s wall gives the impression that Prince Geordo and Prince Alan are the two main love interests or the more primary capture-targets. 

As they are more front and center than Keith and Nicol.

But since this is Katarina’s story, Keith takes precedent over Alan because of his closer proximity and relationship to Katarina.

There’s also something I really like about Past Katarina struggling to succeed in the Prince Geordo route in the game and technically dying because of it. 

It feels like her new life is good karma or the universe trying to make it up to her…so to speak

As in Katarina’s new life she easily wins over Prince Geordo without even trying and by being herself. Hell, she doesn’t even notice that he’s in love with her or that anyone else is. 

I’m probably looking way more into that detail than is actually needed, but I just like that small detail to Katarina and Geordo’s relationship.

The Exam Plot

Sophia want to see Katarina after her sad dream (memories) was very sweet and touching. I just love their friendship and how it has cross time, worlds and lives. It’s beautiful.  

I don’t think the Exam Plot is from the Light Novels (6-9) and it wasn’t in the manga or Light Novels (1-5). 

So, kudos to the Anime for introducing this exam plot and exploring more of the academic life for Katarina and her friends.

I loved their school uniforms for the exam.

It was nice seeing them in the same outfits and they all look pretty damn good in them. 

I don’t know why I really like their uniforms so much, but I really do. I just really do.

As much as I love their day-to-day outfits, I would not be mad if this was their school uniform and what we saw them in for the majority of the time. 

But that’s probably just me. 

Katarina is 100% right about the insanity of this exam.

--

But thanks to this crazy exam we got to see more magic and it was great.

I’ve always felt like the Light Novels and the Manga didn’t elaborate or explore on this being a magical world and the fact that all of our main characters have magic (at least in the First Year/Game Arc). The later novels (3-5) do elaborate a bit further. 

In Fortune Lover, it’s clear that magic was just a mechanic in the game to explain why all these characters were in the same school and a slight twist to making Maria different and special, as well as make Fortune Lover different from other Otome games.

And if I’m not mistakes Katarina even says the same thing about Fortune Lover. 

Fortune Lover gave a limited view of this world. Even when it came to Maria Campbell’s life and background, but the actual Hamefura story explores the world to a much greater extent.

So, it always seemed liked a wasted opportunity not to do the same with magic.

As it never really felt that magic matters for certain characters at all. 

For example in the Light Novels’ Character Profiles -- Sophia is said to have Earth magic and Raphael is said to have Light Magic…

But clearly that doesn’t really matter, because the anime (and maybe manga) can easily change their original types of magic to Wind Magic (I’m assuming it was Raphael who used that wind-tunnel to save Sophia and Katarina). 

HOWEVERE, there does seem to be a mistake in Sophia’s profile as it’s just Katarina’s in regards to her likes, dislikes, etc. 

Sophia’s Profile in Vol.5 (english-translation) is more than likely wrong in regards to her magic. Which might mean Raphael’s magic in his profile is also wrong. 

So, we should take that into consideration. 

My point being that I’m very happy that the anime is taking different route with how it handles magic in comparison to the LN/Manga. 

It’s been a huge improvement.

--

Katarina is so fucking dumb (I love her). 

Not only does she push the red button on the floor without even thinking about it for even a second, but in addition, her contributing to the group with her earth-bump was hilarious and adorable. 

Plus, her picking the most poisonous mushrooms that ever existed was just so stupid and so amazing.  

I also love how both Mary and Sophia are pretty fucking dumb when it comes to Katarina (and really only when it comes to her).

Mary is fully prepared to eat deadly mushrooms as long as Katarina is the one who prepares them and Sophia just hops right on board.

And Sophia was really the only who was genuinely complimenting Katarina for her earth-bump move in the exam. Which is just so sweet and also so dumb.

I love the three of them so goddamn much + Maria being the only one of the girls not willing to the deadly mushrooms. 

While I am a bit disappointed that Katarina’s videogame knowledge wasn’t of any use to her in the exam, I did genuinely love Geordo pushing her towards the the path they decided to take. 

I also enjoyed Alan saving Mary and her slighty blushing and him looking slighty embarassed as well. 

I will say I was disappointed that we only really saw the boys be capable during the exam, not any of the girls. Except for when Sophia helped Nicol locate Katarina…but still.

And of course, Katarina found the magic-stone because she needed a tool to help her gather mushrooms. That’s 100% Katarina. Though, a part of would have prefer it if Katarina was very knowledgable about plants in general and knew that those mushrooms were deadly. (either way it works for me)

And the one councilmember in her head (happy) seeing a lizard as food was fucking fantastic. 

I love the noble girls being jealous of Katarina and talking about her. 

It’s nice seeing them before the big accusation scene happens. Just by showing the noble girls being mad and jealous of Katarina feels more organic to the story.

Plus, Maria noticing the Dark Magic behind Katarina. 

I’m very happy with the past two ‘filler’ episodes building up to the two big climatic scenes and events.

--

The main problem I had with this episode is that - 

The Exam Makes No Sense…

I know that not unusual for anime or plenty of other stories, but the exam really makes no sense.

Aside from one group, basically everyone else is basically set up to fail. Right?

If you find the magic stone than you pass. If you don’t find the (one) magic stone, then you fail. 

The exam isn’t really testing what they’ve learned or improved upon. 

It’s more based on luck and the amount of magical power one has. 

Which seems unfair, as we know that a good portion of the magic population is closer to Katarina’s level of power than Keith’s, at least in LN, but maybe it’s different in the anime (or maybe I read the LN wrong).

I guess it’s possible that even though the team that finds the magic stone automatically passes, the other teams can pass based on how they navigated through the ruins...maybe. That would make more sense.

Though, it’s very possible that Alan, Mary, and Maria didn’t pass the practical exam because they weren’t on Katarina’s team.

And while I doubt that will be addressed later in the anime - If Alan, Mary and Maria actually failed the practical exam then that would be a great reason for why they arrived late during the accusation scene.

They weren’t there because they had to retake the practical exam or do another one.

So, even if the anime doesn’t say that’s the reason, that’s going to be my headcanon for right now.

ALSO

The teachers literally split the top students of the entire grade into two separate groups…

I’m not exaggerating. 

The students who get picked to be on the Student Council (the harem) are the ones who ranked the highest in the evaluation exam at the beginning of the school year.

First Year Rankings

1. Geordo Stuart (Canon) 2. Maria Campbell (Canon) 3. Alan Stuart (Canon) 4. Keith Claes (non-canon) 5. Mary Hunt (non-canon) 6. Sophia Ascart (non-canon)

We don’t actually know the rankings of Keith, Mary and Sophia but since they’re also on the student council, we know that they must be ranked 4-6. We just don’t know the exact order. .

Having the highest ranked students in two groups, basically feels like setting up all the other students for failure.

Then you have Katarina who is right smack in the middle of the rankings (#80) as part of one of the two groups.

That gives me the impression that Geordo and Keith basically demanded that Katarina be on the same team they are on, not realizing the other was doing the same.

Which is par for the course.

As all the members of the harem (minus Maria), threatened the teachers that if Katarina didn’t get permanent permission to be allowed in the Student Council chambers, then they would all resign from the student council (Manga/LN).

I know I’m thinking about this too much. 

And that of course the main characters are going to be together, because they’re the main characters. But still...

Really with just one or two lines from the teacher would have at least solved one of the illogical problems here.  

Teacher – “We have place several of these stones in the labyrinth, your goal is to find one of them. If your team leaves the dungeon without finding a stone, your team fails.”

Or something to that affect...

As much as I love Geordo and Keith being exasperated by Katarina and protecting her.

This also could’ve have been a nice opportunity to introduce Katarina’s non-council friends. Rather than us just seeing them right before she gets accused of bullying. 

But again, it does make more sense to have the main characters to be teamed up together...because they are the main characters. I just can’t help but point out the logistical problems for this exam.

Though maybe the anime will build off what’s been established in this episode...maybe.

--

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode. 

I was hit in the feels right away, laughed so hard, and it was just a lot of fun.

And of course, I was very happy to see the anime is adding its own stuff to the story and elaborating beyond the Light Novels and Manga.

[write-a-bad-romance]

Theocona Hurt/Comfort Request

Thank you for the request @delicateikemenmemes​! And thank you for notifying me about the link. It’s working now!

Disclaimer: This fic deals with Covid-19 and health workers fighting against the pandemic. I mean no harm towards real-life health workers, their families, and everybody whose lives are directly affected by Covid-19. I pray that all of us stay safe and healthy, wherever we are.

"Why not look this way, darling? I know you've been dying to see me for a week~"

"Hell no," Theo directed his eyes to the steaming mug of coffee by the desk lamp. The truth was, he'd rather die than being caught blushing at the sight of his not-boyfriend after what seemed like forever. "As if I'd been looking forward to your perverted face."

"Wah, so mean." Arthur pouted, his movements looking sluggish due to poor connection. Behind him stood rows of drab navy blue lockers and what seemed like a long-unused water dispenser. "And after all the trouble I went through to get to you."

Theo understood what he meant. He imagined the hospital staff, young and old, taking turns to use the dim, cramped room to video call home. He was lucky Arthur still managed to call him from his apartment once in a while.

 Their calls often leave no room for....friskier activities. Arthur moaned about not being able to show how much he'd been missing "Little Theo" and other obscenities the Dutchman pretended not to hear.

 Because, really, this was enough.

"So I was saying," Arthur continued, completely ignoring Theo's perpetual frown. "This bloke came in with a snakebite from a cobra. So, naturally, the boy ran around trying to administer antivenom to this poor sap."

"Listen to yourself, sounding like the epitome of an empath," Theo commented dryly.

 "Oh, the story didn't end there." Arthur waved, his hand a static blur on screen. "The lass who nursed him told me the guy had apparently gotten drunk and tried macking on his pet cobra."

 Theo involuntarily snorted a laugh despite himself. It felt good, he had to admit.

 "Aw, look, you're laughing!" The criminally handsome doctor smiled. "You look positively lush when you're laughing."

 "Shut up." Theo snapped immediately. “That’s not funny.”

Arthur's laughter rang free, a welcome sound in the desolate locker room.

"Remember the old gentleman who came to the ER saying he desperately needed a sick leave letter because he wanted to go on a holiday in Santorini?”

 "Yeah, the sod who dumped his entire life story on you, what about it?" Theo could not help but notice the distinctive dip in Arthur's tone.

"Well, he suddenly messaged me saying he quit smoking after considering my advice," Arthur flashed a reassuring grin. "That's great! His mum is high-risk after-all."

 "Uh-huh." Theo nodded, taking a swig of his coffee, hoping to calm his nerves.

"Today, you see..." Arthur trailed off, his voice trembling. "Today, there was this sweet old lady."

Don't go there, Theo warned inside his head. They would always come to this point in each of their conversations lately, without fail.

But he'd rather be there and piece Arthur together again after he collapsed.

"I think I've told you that we'd let the patient record messages before they get strapped to a ventilator, yeah? And she, um." The usually vibrant young man stuttered to find the words. "We had to retake it several times because she kept forgetting what she wanted to say. I mean, we couldn't blame her and— and then she finally said she wanted to talk to her granddaughter one last time."

Stop. Theo wanted to scream before Arthur could finish his story. Don't—

Arthur took a long, deep breath before resuming. "My mate sent it to her daughter since they're living across the country. We dinna' replay it."

No matter how Arthur changed the way he described his ordeal at the hospital every time, everything sounded the same to Theo. 

It's hard. We know it's supposed to be hard. And it still pains me every single time.

"Dr. Newcomb... Old Simon, you remember. For once, he didn't yell at us when he saw us slumping down in the hallway gutted and all." Arthur babbled, trying to erase the apparent dejection in his voice. "But hey, there's no better way to teach us 'rookies' to 'toughen up' for the job. We signed for this. We've made our bed, and now we gotta lie in it."

Theo could hardly take it any longer.

"Sometimes, Theo, I...."

"Enough," Theo shut him down. "To hell with that old fart and everybody else who keeps telling you how to do your job." he snarled.

"Woah, I didn't mean—"

"Listen up here, Arthur." He knew that wasn't the point, but Theo couldn't care less. "I can't bullshit my way and tell you everything is fine. I can't fathom one bit how all of you manage out there. You hanging on despite all that hell outside, that's just—"

"Theo," Arthur tried to soothe the Dutchman.

"No, Arthur." Theo was, in fact, at a loss for words. He knew he was rambling at the top of his boiling head. What he wouldn't do to save Arthur from the brink, and this was what he resorted to. "I know I can't tell you to suck it up and go on like a robot, but for fuck's sake."

For your sake,

"But for fuck's sake, be a little more caring to yourself." Theo managed to scale his tone down a notch. "The last thing I want is seeing you broken."

"Theo—"

"When you pull through," It's an if, not a when. "We will meet again when you win."

"Theo?" Arthur called, his glasses reflecting the light of his screen. Theo was glad he didn't have to see the tears he knew were budding in the corner of the man's eyes.

"When this is all over," he sighed. "I promise I'll come see you."

This time, it did the trick. Arthur seemed to calm down, easing back into his chair. Theo wanted to believe Arthur’s mouth was crooking into a smile.

"That's awfully sweet of you." He finally spoke. "Thank you, Theo."

Theo couldn't help but smile back, even if only for a bit. "Graag gedaan."

But the moment was cut short when Arthur suddenly looked towards the direction of the door. "Ah, bollocks. My shift is starting. See you again, old boy?"

Theo put on his signature deadpan face. His fit had drained more energy than he thought. "Sure."

"Don't you dare mess with some other bird while I'm away!" Arthur waved. "Ciao!"

"I should be the one telling you that, klootzak," He bit back weakly. "Welterusten."

Theo took off his headphones and threw them on top of his Macbook. In the privacy of his room, the man planted his face onto his dry palms.

He wanted to curse at his own clumsiness. Out of desperation, he yelled at the man who deserved his harsh words the least. At least, not this moment.

His old self back then had been too engrossed in denial and childish comebacks to let the frivolous doctor into his heart. Theo regretted it. Regretted it all now that there was a genuine possibility of not seeing him again. 

And possibly for good.

Theo wasn't a religious man, but he prayed for his brother often, prayed for others but himself. Never himself. But as he pictured Arthur walking out in full gear made him think if he wasn't a little too selfish this time.

So, he prayed. He prayed despite the selfish masses out there who refused to listen. He prayed in the face of a wall too high to climb, amidst the rising numbers, against what seemed to be an inevitable downfall. 

He prayed for a tomorrow where he'd still find him there.

Stay safe because I want to be alive at the same time as you.

Notes:

*1 The cobra incident is a real-life story from Asha’s (ashavazesa) friend who’s a co-assistant doctor. I wrote it into my fic with permission.

*2 The part with the recording is also taken from real life. I referenced it from this article from The Harvard Gazette website, which I highly recommend reading. It’s very eye-opening and heartwrenching.

*3 The final line is taken from lovelysuggestions with very slight changes . Big thanks to Emma & Maria for the quote.

Personal Comments:

Theocona, eh??? Well this was quite the challenge since I expected writing mainly from Theo’s perspective because I thought I wouldn’t be able tonail Arthur’s character properly. Thankfully, I got some help from @ashavazesa​ so everything went smoother than I expected.

But to be honest, this fic was... very hard to write. Yeah, I wrote the entire thing out of my own free will but even then I needed to take breaks every now and then to ground myself.

A little bit of background: I have a dear friend who currently has to work mobile from town to town. She’s not a health worker, but the fact that she’s out there meeting so many different people makes me anxious. There’s not a day I don’t think about her. In fact, most people here have no choice but to work outside.

I can ramble all day long about the depressing state my country is in right now, but I think I’d rather spend my energy on something else.

Sorry for the sudden rant. Thank you so much for reading until the end. 

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

13 Keys to the White House: 2024

Historian Allan Lichtman has produced an astonishingly accurate system for predicting presidential elections; although first implemented in 1984, going backwards it correctly accounts for every election since 1860, with the only hiccup coming from the hotly contested 2000 election. He predicted Gore would win, and he wasn’t entirely wrong, there was just some brotherly nepotism and Supreme Court fuckery. Anyway, his system posits 13 yes or no scenarios about the state of the union; if at least 8 are true then the incumbent party wins another term, less than 8 and the challenging party wins. Simple.

It’s pretty early in Biden’s term to tell for sure, but we can make some soft predictions that we can refine over the next few years before solidifying in 2023 or 2024.

Midterm gains: after the midterms, the incumbent party holds more seats in the House than they did in the previous midterms. Almost certainly false. 2022 will see new districts drawn by the predominantly Republican statehouses, giving them an immediate advantage. Democrats have a razor thin majority as is, it’s never been this close to tied before, I can’t see them holding on when you take into account new census data and partisan gerrymandering.

No primary contest: is there no serious contest for the incumbent party nomination. Almost certainly true. Like him or hate him, Democrats are stuck with Biden. There hasn’t been a serious primary challenge in either major party since Reagan tried to take on Ford in 1976.

Incumbent seeking re-election: the incumbent candidate is the president. Again almost certainly true. There was an unspoken agreement that Biden would only run for one term, considering the fact that he’ll be 82 at the end of it, but o think he thinks he’s in for the long run now. If he does in office, Harris will become president and run for re-election herself, so the only way this would flip false would be if Biden just decides not to run again. In that case, the #2 might also flip false because I could see a weak senator like Joe Manchin running against Harris to get out of his own impending failure in West Virginia.

No third-party: no significant third party challenger. Too soon to tell, though I’m leaning towards true. The last nationally successful third party candidate was Ross Perot in 1992 and 1996. He didn’t win any states, but he split some states nearly in thirds; Clinton and Bush and Dole all won states with less than 50% of he vote because Perot split the ticket. In 2000 Ralph Nader lost New Hampshire for Al Gore, giving it and the presidency to George W. Bush, and the same thing happened with Jill Stein in 2016 in the Midwest. Spoilers don’t need to be major on the National scale to have significant effects in specific states. Lichtman only flips this one false when a third party candidate wins 10% of the vote, so I’m going with true.

Short-term economy: the economy is not in recession. Probably true, but still too early to tell. We are either in the middle or nearing the end of a covid recession, I can’t see it lasting three more years without recovering at least a little, especially with the $2 trillion stimulus package they just passed. The economy is random, but if you look at a plot of unemployment since the Great Depression you will see that it consistently trends up under Republicans and trends down under Democrats. Trump was the only president is recent history to actually destroy more jobs than he created, so Biden could. It have inherited an easier path to victory. He shouldn’t be able to fuck up when the bar is so low, but I’m not holding out hope.

Long-term economy: real pet capita growth equals or exceeds mean growth during the previous two terms. Probably true, too soon to be sure. We’re so deep in the hole after Trump that any even remotely upwards tick will count as growth. I can’t see us dipping deeper than 2020 anytime soon, but then again that’s what they said in 2008, so who even knows?

Major policy change: the incumbent administration effects major change in national policy. False, I can call it now with utmost confidence. With Manchin and Sinema protecting the filibuster, Biden will get absolutely nothing substantive done in his first two years. He’ll end up losing one or both houses in the midterms, accomplishing even less in his next two! If he loses the Senate, it’s all over. It’ll be 2016 2.0, no more appointments, no more nominees, complete and utter obstruction until the Republicans take back he presidency and fill all the vacancies themselves.

No social unrest: no sustained social unrest during the term. Too soon to tell, but maybe true. 2020 was an anomaly, a once in a generation thing like 1968, so many crises all compounded together; the pandemic, the George Floyd protests, the wild fires, the hurricanes, utter chaos. I don’t see 2024 being as bad, but don’t quote me on that.

No scandal: incumbent administration is not tainted by scandal. Who knows?!? Biden seems pretty white bread/plain vanilla/mayonnaise, but Republicans insist he’s the most corrupt politician since their own guys (Trump and Nixon; lowering the bar for all their successors). They milked Benghazi for years and found nothing, but still tanked Clinton’s integrity going forward, I’m sure they’ll try to milk whatever BS They can find on Hunter Biden, especially if they retake the House or Senate. Whether any accusations will stick is up in the air, but I could see Republicans impeaching Biden just because they can.

No foreign/military failure: incumbent administration suffers no major failure in foreign/military affairs. Who knows? Biden’s foreign policy isn’t significantly different than Trump’s, so there’s no telling what could go wrong. The Saudis will keep cutting people’s heads off, North Korea will never disarm itself, Iran will probably arm itself, Afghanistan will drag on forever, and I can smell war brewing in the Caucasus, Venezuela, and Bolivia. The future is as clear as milk.

Foreign policy/military success: incumbent administration achieves major success in foreign/military affairs. Probably not, but too soon to tell. Succeeding is very different from not failing, so 10 and 11 aren’t necessarily linked. You can not fail AND not succeed, they’re not mutually exclusive. I don’t see anything good happening overseas for a very long time. If we pull out of Afghanistan, the power vacuum will pave the way for ISIS 2.0, so our hands are tied there. Our best bet would be to renegotiate a nuclear deal with Iran, but then we’ll just be back to status quo anteTrumpum, zero sum gain.

Charismatic incumbent: the incumbent party nominee is charismatic or a national hero. False, false, a million times false. Biden isn’t even beloved by his entire party, let alone the country; Republicans hate him even more than they ought to just because he wears a blue tie instead of a red one (his policies are so middle-of-the-road inoffensive to them that they shouldn’t have a problem with him, but Trump told them to, so they do). If Biden dies or refuses to run, Harris is even more divisive because she’s a woman and a disingenuous liar (she pretends to be super progressive, but she’s a cop, a Clintonesque moderate through and through). Obama in 2008 was a breath of fresh air which got very stale by 2012; 2008 was lightning in a bottle, and neither Biden nor Harris could ever dream of catching it again. They’re nowhere near as nationally beloved as the Roosevelts or Kennedy or Reagan.

Uncharismatic challenger: the challenging party candidate is not charismatic or a national hero. True, true, a million times true. It will almost certainly be Trump again in 2024, and he is even more despised than Biden. Sure, he’s beloved by his own party, but they make up less than half of he country. He never had majority approval and lost the popular vote twice, he’s a loser! If by some miracle he chooses not to run, the Republicans will be running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to appoint a successor. They’ll want one of his kids to run, maybe even his daughter in law who is looking to run for senate in 2022, but they’re tainted by affiliation to the Gonad Lump himself; they’re all the same. Ted Cruz sucks ass, Ron DeSantis might actually have an intellectual disability so I feel bad making fun of that piece of shit bastard, I pray that Rick Scott and Josh Hawley and Matt Gaetz suffer debilitating brain aneurysms on live TV, Nikki Haley is a nobody, and Lauren Boebert and Majorie Taylor Green are too regional to have national appeal (though Green will probably run against Raphael Warnock in 2022, so she will almost certainly be a senator by 2024). There are no nationally beloved politicians on either side of the aisle, so I would expect Republicans to cheat like they tried in 2020 to stop black people in swing states from voting.

So, the tally stands thus:

3 are certainly true

4 are probably true, leaning uncertain

2 are uncertain

1 is probably false, leaning uncertain

3 are certainly false

Democrats need 8 true to win, Republicans need 6 false to win. Right now, Biden had a slight edge because it is historically difficult to defeat an incumbent, Trump just sucked. I don’t see a rematch being significantly different, I suspect Biden would still win the popular vote, but Trump could eke by with the electoral college like he did in 2016, especially now that Republicans are taking over the judiciary in Pennsylvania (they’re changing the rules so that judges are elected in gerrymandered districts instead of statewide races). You saw how hard Republicans fought in 2020, they’re not going to change tactics in 2024, they’re gonna double down and try even harder next time. Fewer polling places, fewer drop boxes, shorter early voting, shorter hours, more stringent ID laws. Their MO is systemic voter suppression because their rhetoric has become too toxic to win on a national level. The majority of Americans vote against them in almost every election, general and midterm, but they continue to rule in the minority.

Something has got to give, this can’t go on forever, eventually the situation is going to boil over, be it in a civil war or a constitutional convention to overhaul the entire country; neither are probable, and either outcome would almost certainly hurt people of color in predominantly conservative states.

Biden thought he would be an arbiter president, he thought he would be able to unite the country, heal the divide, being both sides together under mutual compromise, but he failed to understand that Republicans hate him on principal. Doesn’t matter how much he tries to appease them, they still hate him because they have to hate him, even if they agree with him. It would be political suicide for any of them to side with Biden on anything, Trump has already vowed to support primary challengers, his presidency was the final nail in the coffin of bipartisanship. Bipartisanship is dead, it hasn’t been alive in decades, and the only people who call for it are the minority party.

Trump is hard liquor, unappealing to anyone but his alcoholic voters; Biden is diet ginger ale, inoffensive and boring, nobody really wanted him, he only ran to try and settle everyone’s stomachs, and he hasn’t been very successful yet. He honestly believed he would be a neutral alternative for the alcoholics; that level of optimism would be adorable if it weren’t so pathetic. It’s gonna take a lot more than 12 steps to break the country’s addiction.

[tigerstripedmoon]

Ozpin Lore in After the Fall + Analysis

So I’ve read After the Fall, which is a very good little read! It’s definitely aimed at a younger audience, as there were a lot of moments where it was ‘tell, not show’ in regards to character emotions that felt jarring to me. That said, the lore dump we get on Team CFVY, Vacuo culture, and events during v1-3 is fairly massive. The story could have been a half a volume in its own right.

But the most exciting things,of course, were the little bits of info we got on Ozpin. They don’t necessarily fill in the blanks- it kind of raises more questions, to be honest- but damn, do we get some good info.

Beware, I’m going to get meta as fuck all up in here.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT.

1) Ozpin’s younger than we may think. I found it interesting that in the very first mention we have of Ozpin, it’s not just to point out that he’s got a reputation for being ‘mysterious and a bit reckless with his students’, but there’s a reiteration of the fact that he’s the youngest headmaster Beacon has ever had. This is then followed by Coco comparing him to her younger brother due to his ‘mischievous streak and boyish charm’. This is followed up in a later chapter by Velvet comparing him to a boy playing at his father’s desk when in his office (and that Glynda standing behind him made it worse). Both Coco and Velvet also make the connection that Ozpin looks much younger than his physical age, while seeming much, much older.

There is a distinct possibility, given all this, that Ozpin might be no older, or only a scant few years older, than team STRQ. I don’t think he’s younger- a sixteen year old headmaster would be hard to pull off- but an eighteen to twenty-one year old fresh out of the Academy? He was noted to be a prodigy; he could have gone through the Academy younger than Ruby. Absolutely possible. Or he graduated at 18 and gained field experience for a few years, or taught.

We know approximately how old team STRQ is. Let’s put Ozpin at an age range of 18-21 when he became headmaster.  Assuming Raven had Yang shortly after graduation- at age 21/22, and Yang entered Beacon at age 17, STR would have been 38-39 at the time of the Fall of Beacon, which puts Ozpin at 39-42 years old when he died.

That’s young.

That’s young enough to still have a stupidly youthful appearance. And let’s face it- without the glasses he barely looks older than his students. We’ve all seen the screenshot edits.

This one hurts.

2) Ozpin’s sweet tooth is canon, not fanon. It’s confirmed that Ozpin drinks hot chocolate exclusively, not coffee (to promptly be ignored by 75% of the ozqrow fandom because we like our Ozpin mainlining coffee into his veins). Ozpin also just... has cookies and hot cocoa ready to give to his students at the drop of a hat, like what he offers Velvet, which is adorable and heartwarming all at once. 

(Ozpin is absolutely the dad who volunteers at bake sales. I don’t make the rules, blame RT.)

3). Ozpin is absolutely as mysterious as it gets. We’ve known this for a while, because he is an idiot bastard child, but it gets commented on in the book as well. There are tidbits about how he’s a ‘formidable Huntsman’ but he doesn’t teach classes and that ‘no one had ever seen him fight’. This is really odd for the headmaster of a Huntsman academy. Fighting is what they do. Then again, Ozpin is, as I and others have noted, is written as more feminine in his lack of aggression and passivity, and he honestly comes across as a bit of a pacifist except for when it comes down to lives on the line.

Then again, after centuries upon centuries and lives upon lives of violence and suffering and watching humanity try to tear itself apart, I would probably be sick of fighting too.

4) As of team CFVY’s leaving Vale, Ozpin’s death was unconfirmed. It’s mentioned several times that no one knows what happened to him- he’s basically the Huntsman equivalent of MIA. Qrow was seen taking Ruby into an airbus and leaving, but not returning. Glynda, Oobleck, and Port are trying to retake the school. No mention of Ironwood. No mention of if anyone tried to find him.

Which, I get that this is a young teen novel, but- we know that Jaune has a good idea that Ozpin had died because 1) he was there and 2) he didn’t call anyone for backup like he was asked and I am bitter af that he hasn’t been called out on it. We know Qrow or someone had to have had to have gone back because he had Ozpin’s cane at the end of v3. But there’s no clarity on whether they found him or if there was a funeral or what the death rituals are in Vale (they actually mention what happens with death in Vacuo!) and I need answers ASAP.

... eh, fuck it. Fanfic fixes what canon fails at. If you think this means ‘Tiger is going to write a depressing af cloqwork fic about what happened to Ozpin’s body after the Fall’, then you get a prize! ....or will as soon as I can sit down to write it lol.

5) There is no goddamn way this man is evil. Near the end of the book there is a flashback to team CFVY leaving Vale, and Glynda tells them the last portion of Ozpin’s graduation speech as a sort of good-bye. And it is heartbreaking. Team CFVY is practically in tears at the end and so was I. Because his entire mission statement, the reason he’s fighting and slogging through this neverending hell of an existence is summed up there in a few words. His students are beacons of hope in a cruel world, set out to uplift and protect their fellow man. That’s one of the things he considers part of his job as Headmaster- to help his students become genuinely good people.

Kindness. Hope. Love for your fellow man. Those aren’t things one instills in others to be cruel.

All of the speeches he gives- one is relayed by Coco to Ruby, one he gives to team CFVY, and then the last described above- are written so perfectly that they sound as if they were lifted out of the show. have to give mad props to Miles&Kerry&Myers for that.

...

In the end, all this has made me realize just how much I miss Ozpin- this mysterious, ineffable, melancholy old man, this mischievous manchild too young and too old for the role he played, who gave others hope even when he had none. 

Hopefully we’ll see him- not Oscar, not Ozma, but Ozpin- again in v7.

[dearsannu]

The Lord is an Amazing Father

I have received an incredible amount of blessings from God this year. Not because of my works but because as a father, he wants to shower his children which stems from his love for us.

What BIG things has he done:

 1. My GRADES!!!! I’m telling you... In the last 3 weeks of school left, I was still failing 3 classes because I didn’t start the digital learning, until 3 weeks after it was going on: Accel Pre-calc, IB Lit, and APUSH. 

Accel Pre-Calc: My grade was probably a 60-something during the last 3 weeks of school. By the grace of God, my teacher, luckily, kept extending the deadline to the retakes that we could do on our school page. And you bet, I used all of the chances I got to retake the quizzes and tests. Many of them, we were able to retake multiple times. That also has to be God’s work. After using up all of my chances on the retakes I was able to end the class on an 80. The Lord is good!

What happened for these last two classes are amazing!!!

IB Lit: I didn’t even try to do the work for this class because I didn’t have the books in hand nor did I do anything about that. I was at a 32 one day, and the very next day, it rose up to a 60. Like WHAT!!!! I think it was just the goodness of my teacher but I later found out that the district told the teachers to average the grade from the previous semester with the grade we had that current semester. That average grade would then be used to replace grades that were lower than the averaged grade. And, whooey. It skyrocketed my grades. Technically, a 60 is failing but because it was an IB class, 10 extra points were added, bringing it up to a 70, which is passing. The Lord is GREAT!!!

APUSH: On the very last day I had a 28 for the class. My teacher called me to say that I should at least attempt the Final even if I may not get a good grade because, who knows; maybe I could. I did by the way, but only by looking up the answers which I know others were probably also doing. I got a 94 on the Final which replaced 3 other works, which then brought my grade up to a 61. 61 plus the 10 points for it being an AP class, meant that it was a 71. I don’t have to do credit recovery!!! The Lord is WONDERFULLL!!!!!!

2. The Lord is very purposeful with my life, and I can tell. My pastor introduced me to a man who works for this growing company. Although I’m not old enough, I’m still learning the ins-and-out of it so that when I turn 18, I can begin the business as well. Only God knows, why I was introduced to this man. This man later on has helped me to get a phone, out of the kindness of his heart. Which leads to the third reason.

3. Before the man offered me the plan of giving me a phone; my sister brought up the fact that she was willing to buy me a phone that would cost up to 200-300 to buy and would lead me to pay around $30 dollars for monthly payments. But the man, on the very same day that me and my sis discussed about the phone, told me that he was willing to give me his free phone that he would get because of his family plan for the phone company. So, the phone would be of no cost and all I had to pay was $20 monthly!! God provided me with an even better plan that wouldn’t hurt my mom’s pocket too much. It’s wonderful how he provides us with things that are beyond what we even ask for.

4. Me and my big sis are finally CITIZENS!!!! The timing of God is utterly wonderful! Now being citizens of the US, I’m able to have a wider amount of opportunities. 

I’m going to stop here. The Lord has done more than this but I can’t share all of it. And I know that he’ll even do more. Even in your life he will. 

[onthecue]

Road to RPm: How to be a BLEPP Passer

The Board Licensure Examination for Psychologists and Psychometricians (BLEPP) started in 2014. It’s safe to say that this is one of the relatively new national exams in the Philippines.

Through the years, only more or less half of the total number of takers are successful in passing the Psychometrician board exams. Here are the results:

2014 - 1,290 out of 3,283

2015 - 2,061 out of 4,466

2016- 3,690 out of 7,312

2017- 4,957 out of 8,701

2018 - 4,035 out of 8,453

I placed these numbers not to scare future takers. I just want everyone to have an idea on how tough the exam is. So you can get the picture, the board exam is not easy as it seems.

I passed BLEPP 2018. For someone who is in the helping profession, I would want to extend my knowledge and help fellow Psychology majors who would want to take the Psychometrician licensure exam.

Knowing that you are here, searching for tips on how you can attain your goal of being an RPm too says a lot about your determination. Keep that up and I’m pretty sure your name will be on the list of passers too!

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQs):

1. What are the subjects included in the Psychometrician Board Exam?

The Psychometrician board exam is composed of four (4) subjects namely, Psychological Assessment (40%), Theories of Personality (20%), Abnormal Psychology (20%), and Industrial Psychology (20%). However, there are news that additional subjects will be added in future examinations. This isn’t confirmed yet for BLEPP 2019 so you can calm down a bit. Just a bit.

2. What is the passing grade in order to become licensed?

You need to attain a general average of at least seventy-five percent (75%) for all subjects, with no grade lower than sixty percent (60%) in any of the subjects.

However, there is what we call a conditional passer. These are the examinees who attain an average of 75% but they have a grade lower than 60% in any of the four subjects. What's the catch? Conditional passers may retake the subject(s) within the next two years and they must obtain a grade of at least 75% in order to pass the licensure exam.

But of course, that’s not THE GOAL. Aim to completely pass all subjects and become a board passer. If you can, go the extra mile and even top the board exams!

If you have any questions, kindly send a Tumblr ask, I would gladly help you out if I know the answers.

MY TIPS ON HOW TO PASS THE PSYCHOMETRICIAN BOARD EXAM:

Disclaimer: These tips helped me a lot but it doesn’t mean that it will certainly work on you too. It will still depend on your personal preference and your learning style.

1. Have a study schedule and STICK TO IT.

Set a goal. Since there are four subjects, I allotted at least one month per subject. I started reviewing as early as June 2018 so I had ample time to review. By October 2018, I had around a month for a refresher and to reread.

I had daily and weekly goals to meet. This helped me a lot because I wasn’t only organized with my review but it helped me to feel accomplished once I see my progress on paper. It felt great to tick off topics on my to-do list. It was reassuring for me.

What if you don’t meet your goal? Of course there will be days when it’s harder to study, especially during the rainy season. There are days when you’ll be distracted and you couldn’t focus. Don’t be afraid to adjust your schedule as needed. But refrain from always doing this and putting off your goals for tomorrow. We all know that each hour of studying matters! “Bukas na lang” and having a lot of excuses won’t help you pass the board exam. Make sure to make up for your backlogs and delays.

It’s better to study in advance than to cram. Besides, you will feel more confident when October comes. Imagine if you are still halfway through the coverage and it’s already October first. I swear, that will be terrifying! SO STUDY IN ADVANCE.

2. Fix your body clock.

On the day of the board exam, you will need to wake up VERY EARLY. If you are nocturnal and you are more productive at night, you will have a hard time to focus during the board exam if you do not fix your body clock. Trust me, I’m a night owl as well.

Why is this important? If you stay up all night studying, your body will be used to waking up late and feeling sluggish during the afternoon. It will be hard to wake up and arrive on time for the exam. For me, it was a challenge to train my mind to be ready for the first exam at 8am and also make sure to fight that after-lunch-siesta sleepiness for the afternoon exam at 1pm.

So my tip is to fix your body clock. While reviewing, I woke up as early as 5am. My study schedule was from 6 in the morning up until 8 in the evening only (breaks included of course!) But it’s still up to you, whatever works for you. That’s just my study tip.

3. Reward yourself!

As mentioned, I only studied for around 12 hours. After a day’s worth of studying, I make sure to reward myself IF I FINISH MY DAILY GOAL OR TARGET. I watch my favorite tv show to unwind or eat my favorite comfort food or go out for a drive and get milktea.

This is important too. Remember that too much of something is always bad. Rewarding yourself will keep you sane, make you feel motivated to accomplish your review goals, and to of course, free your mind of the fears and doubts!!!

4. Choose only one to two reference books per subject.

There are a lot of books available that would help you, but it will be too overwhelming if you study too much books per subject. I will list down below the books that helped me throughout my review.

Psychological Assessment and Theory by Kaplan & Saccuzzo

Psychological Testing and Assessment by Cohen & Swerdlik

Abnormal Psychology: An Integrative Approach by Barlow & Durand

Theories of Personality by Feist & Feist

Industrial and Organizational Psychology by Aamodt

Sikolohiyang Pilipino by Pe-Pua

These were the main materials that I used. I finished these books from cover to cover. These books were recommended by the lecturers in the review center that I enrolled in, RGO.

I also used some of the powerpoints that our lecturers provided as well as the review booklets and drills that were given to us.

5. Enrolling in a review center or self-study?

It’s a case to case basis. Remember that not everyone who enrolled in the review center passed the BLEPP! Enrolling in a review center is not a ticket to those three letters! I would like to believe that this greatly depends on you. Sure, enrolling in a review center has its advantages. You’ll have test drills and review materials. Some lecturers are also kind enough to give a copy of their powerpoint presentations. You’ll also be motivated to study because of a supportive community of fellow Psychology students, review center staff, and your mentors.

But there’s a downside. It was honestly overwhelming and draining to sit from morning til the afternoon, from 8am to 5pm. For someone with a short attention span like me, after two hours, I was honestly zoning out already. It’s hard to pay attention the whole day for lectures.

Another downside is that you will feel pressured, especially when you see your friends’ progress with the review, reading, and results in the test drills. You MIGHT compare where you are and what you’ve accomplished, which leads me to another tip.

6. FOCUS ON YOURSELF but surround yourself with positive people and have a support system!

COMPETE WITH NO ONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF. Don’t compare your progress with anyone else’s. Trust your pace and focus on your own review. It will cause you additional pressure if you compare with the people around you.

Don’t hangout with those with negative vibes. “Hala babagsak ata ako.” “Ako rin.” Remember, our mind is a very powerful place. Feed it with the right fuel. Stay with people who will motivate you and who will not bring you down.

7. Think positive. Be optimistic!

I’m not gonna lie. My BLEPP journey was not easy. There were nights when I felt like giving up. I also doubted myself if I will make it. I shed a lot of tears during that five months of review. My mantra all throughout is: “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.”

I didn’t take the exam with the goal of just passing. I wanted to have decent results, to top the board exams if I can. I didn’t have a mindset that’s mediocre, similar to this: “Kapag pumasa ako edi good, kung hindi okay lang.” Why is that, you ask? Because I want to pass the exam. If I give myself the assurance that it’s okay for me to fail, even if in the back of my mind that’s not my goal, and that’s not what I want to achieve, the universe won’t pave a path towards my success. Law of attraction!

So set that goal, claim it. You will pass and all your actions, thoughts, and everything else will be circling around your dream of being an RPm. Believe that you can and you are halfway there.

8. Know your learning style or what works best for you.

In my case, I’m a visual learner. So the use of flashcards (i made my own using index cards), writing down key words, drawing to understand certain concepts, and reading while using colorful highlighters really helped me!

9. Believe in yourself and don’t listen to your demons!

Your motivation will wear out at some point. You will start to doubt yourself. You will begin to question why you wanted to take the exam in the first place. You will feel like you will fail. These are just some facts.

Don’t be afraid. Just pray, trust in the Lord, and His plans. So what if you don’t make it? What are you afraid of? Being judged by others? Being reprimanded? Remember, you can always take the exam again. Passing on your first or second, or third take won’t really matter. What will truly matter is what you do with your license. Just strive, do your best, and believe that you will become an RPm.

10. Apps that helped me.

Forest - The first app that I used is called Forest. It helped me to stay away from social media and to get rid of distractions! It’s also for a good cause because you can plant REAL TREES once you get a certain amount of coins. Stay productive. Help Mother Earth as well.

Tide -  This app helped me to stay calm. The “breathe” option where it guides me to take deep breathes was effective in letting go of my anxious feelings! The “sleep” option helped me to fall asleep faster at night when I need to doze off already and it gave me good sleep because of the relaxing music that the app has. Also, the alarm that this app has helped me not to wake up feeling shocked (unlike the usual alarms in our phones!) The alarm increases in volume so you won’t wake up feeling so surprised because of the loud, nerve-wracking alarms. I hope you got what I was trying to say. Haha!

Headspace - Once I get up every morning, I allot a few minutes to meditate and clear my mind. So I can be ready for an exhausting day of reviewing. It also helped me to think more positively and to get rid of my fears, doubts, and whatnot!

Spotify - Studying with music really helped me remember things better and to stay focused. I highly recommend the Deep Focus playlist on Spotify! If all else fails, listen to Oceans by Hillsong and other Christian songs.

11. On the day of the exam:

Make sure you bring everything you need! (Especially your pencils and NOA)

Bring a jacket.

Make sure that your scantron won’t get crumpled, WET, or tampered!!! PROTECT YOUR ANSWER SHEET AT ALL COSTS. Keep it neat and tidy.

Manage your time well especially for Psych Assessment.

Make sure not to spill your drinks. I brought water and coffee (in case i feel sleepy) and drink away from your paper.

You may use the questionnaires as scratch papers. You can mark and write on them.

Make sure to READ THE QUESTIONS CAREFULLY. Some questions are meant to be confusing. Make sure that you know what they are asking for! (Be aware of the double negatives and look out for the words like “except”, “all but one” etc.

When in doubt, stick to the basics. Go back to the roots and basics of Psychology.

It’s better if you bring food to eat. Imagine that there will be thousands of takers. There will be long lines in the nearby restaurants.

Use your lunch break to rest. Don’t talk to your friends and discuss answers! It might ruin your confidence.

It won’t hurt to follow some superstitious beliefs! What’s there to lose right? I wore red underwear. I entered the room with my right foot first. I broke one pencil (donated the others) after the last exam and I never looked back on my seat once I passed my paper! But of course, your success won’t really be based on these but it gave me some sense of comfort and extra boost of luck, I guess.

PRAY. The Lord is with you. Trust His plans and remember that he answers prayers only with three ways: Yes, Not Yet, and I have something better in mind. Stand firm in faith.

12. After the exam, wait patiently.

I know it will be the most anxious-filled days. You will think that your nervousness will be gone after taking the exam but no. Your anxiety will still be through the roof! Remember to pray. Know that you did what you can. Be proud of yourself because months of studying wasn’t easy. Be proud of yourself too because not EVERYONE had enough courage to even try to take the board exam and that alone is already an achievement.

Those are what helped me to become a Registered Psychometrician. If you have questions and if want to ask for reviewers, don’t be afraid to message me through my Tumblr ask or Twitter DMs . I would be glad to help. I already have a Google Drive with compiled readings/powerpoints available for sharing anytime!

Good luck and do your best! Ora et labora.

[noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth]

hey hey i read your response to an anon about what you thought J's little smile (after S' "pretty" comment) could be in response to, and i definitely agree that he underestimated how hurt she was & where that hurt was coming from (i feel like he's constantly preaching trust but he very rarely reciprocates) (minus the obvious e.g. of him trusting the north to her... the least he could've done) (anywAY). so i'm at a point where i believe S has feelings for J, but not necessarily vice versa (1/3)

(2/3).. like to me, the “pretty” comment was her trying to gauge how he felt about D. had he shrugged it off, i don’t think she would’ve asked if he bent the knee for the north or for love, and would’ve trusted that he only had the former’s interests in mind. and his lack of response to that question + his apparent reluctance to defend D in public seems to me proof that maybe he bent the knee for both? but he knows that to admit to any feelings for D (even if he is also protecting the

(3/3).. North) would mean calling into question every decision or action he makes/has made. what i’m trying to say is i believe Sansa does love Jon, that pol!jon is alive&well but i do think i underestimated how much Jon is enthralled by D/ny (and i use the word enthralled b/c i think a lot of J’s attraction to her, and the reason he was acting weirdly in that episode, is down to that heady feeling of being wanted by someone so ridiculously powerful & being a bit in awe of them etc.)

I get what you’re saying, anon, but I think I disagree. If the showrunners knew they were going to be setting up an unrequited version of Jonsa or a strictly political alliance, then it seems wild that they would’ve written and allowed so many scenes where Jon is so clearly intensely emotionally invested in Sansa. They wouldn’t have had so many scenes where Jon loses control when men threaten Sansa, nor would they have so many where Sansa’s opinion of him very clearly means so much to him. We wouldn’t get the soft eyes, the deep sighs, the close-ups on hand touching, the forehead kiss where his eyes flicker to her lips.

Was Jon less demonstrative with Sansa this episode? For sure. But at this point I think he’s trying to keep a tight rein on his feelings. Even so, he can’t help himself: he keeps turning to Sansa for affirmation, he clearly feels hurt that she doesn’t trust and back him up. He shows up at her room and asks with heartbreak on his face whether she has any faith in him at all. If we hadn’t seen the extreme versions of this in previous seasons, then this might all just be sibling tension but imo it’s a somewhat suppressed continuation of the same tension they’ve been feeling since season 6. 

They used the last two seasons (and perhaps especially season 7) to establish Jon’s feelings. Now we’re seeing Sansa’s come to the fore, and perhaps Sansa herself is only just realizing them.

Moreover, with the reunions between Jon and his other siblings, we can see a real contrast between his relationship with Sansa and these other relationships – not a lessening in intensity, but a different atmosphere. Arya and Jon’s one-on-one is outdoors, well-lit, opens with a joke (”How’d you sneak up on me?”/”How’d you survive a knife in the heart?”), and has the awkwardness of an older brother who still sees the girl before him as the little sister he once knew. There’s still a really passionate hug and strong emotions on their faces, but it doesn’t have any weird undercurrents of intensity. Compare to the one-on-one Jon and Sansa scene is private, indoors, candlelit, and underpinned with a kind of desperation on Jon’s part to have Sansa affirm him. They’re both dressed down and move into each other’s physical space, but avoid touch. They stare deeply into each other’s eyes and discuss romantic love.

(Compare also to Jon and Sansa’s initial reunion, which was raw and physical, and even though they had people around them, it’s as if they have completely forgotten everyone else. They lose themselves in each other. The conversation that comes later only emphasizes the fact that they didn’t really know each other as children, that they are learning each other now for the first time.)

Maybe you disagree that Jon’s in love with Sansa, but to me it explains so much about the past two seasons. It explains Kit Harington’s otherwise utterly bizarre choices. It explains why the show spent time showing us again and again and again how much Jon cares for Sansa, how protective he is, the fact that he preferred to die rather than fail her in the Battle of the Bastards.

But even if Jon’s not in love with Sansa, I remain unconvinced of his genuine attraction to or even enthrallment by D/ny. If that were the case, why haven’t we gotten a single actually romantic or sexy scene between the two of them? I don’t think it’s the heady feeling of being wanted – it’s the fact that he feels like he has to do whatever it takes to keep being wanted. Even hop on a dragon in the middle of a crisis and go on a joyride. Yet notice how he still shuts down any attempt from D/ny to get him to lose himself in her or with her. “We could stay here for a thousand years,” she says. His reply? “We’d be pretty old.” This is such a flop it’s embarrassing. It would’ve been so easy to have him say something like, “I wish we could,” or “Maybe not a thousand years, but I can think of how to fill the next hour.” He could’ve looked awed that she wants to spend a thousand years with him. Instead he makes an awkward face and rejects the romantic moment.

Perhaps realizing his mistake, he flirts with D/ny a little after that and kisses her, but even then, he doesn’t lose himself in her. He never forgets that they’re not alone. He’s distracted by the dragons.

Why? Why do this? Why not show us the two of them completely stupidly infatuated or just passionate even? The closest we get is the sex scene in 7.07 but (as many have noted) it’s so undercut by the intrusion of half a dozen other people into the scene as well as the reminder of Jon and D/ny’s blood relation and rivalry, that it’s clear that they cannot become their own small bubble of passion, even for a moment.

I do think it’s possible Jon has been fooled by D/ny inasmuch as I don’t think he realized until he found out about the Tarlys just how much of a tyrant she is – from his perspective, she’s a spoiled, entitled brat, one who likes to throw out threats, and she’s shown no sign of being a competent ruler, but as far as I know he might be unaware of her actually hurting people in such a clearly tyrannical way. Maybe he didn’t want to know. But now he can’t deny it. And now he’s not just wary of her – he’s frightened.

And his reluctance to answer the question of why he bent the knee is because of his reluctance to let anyone in on his secret, because he’s trying to be a lone wolf and manage D/ny on his own. Whatever answer he gives, he’s screwed. If he says the North, then Sansa knows he doesn’t love D/ny and given Sansa’s refusal to bend to D/ny’s will, maybe he fears that she’ll even tell D/ny or let it slip. If he says for love, then he’s completely broken Sansa’s trust in him. So he doesn’t know what to say.

I could be wrong about all of this. Maybe Jon is a dumbass who’s flattered by a sexy, powerful woman being into him, but this is the Jon who resisted Melisandre, this is the Jon who constantly doubts his own worthiness and honor, this is the Jon who slept with Ygritte only to prove that he was loyal to her, even if he loved her too. If Jon has fallen for D/ny – whether he’s in love with her or just enthralled – then I’m not sure what he’s learned over the past seven seasons. If he has, then he’s still the boy and the not the man, and everything from Ygritte and the wildlings to Stannis and Mance to his murder to the retaking of Winterfell, all taught him nothing.

In that case, his character is irredeemable and I’m not sure why we spent eight seasons or five books caring about him.

Thanks for the ask, anon! Sorry this got so long!

[worldoflis]

Close Binaries Chapter 10. Joke / Light

A/N I skipped ... many days? Also this chapter ran away from me a little bit, so no klaine again, sorry. But have some bitchy Blainchel?

1. athlete / snowman  //  2. bury / cinnamon  //  3. camera / candle  //  4. deputy / paper  //  5. exclude / ribbon  //  6. feed / festival  //  7. gradual / star  //   8. house / gift  //  9. incident / latke

The following morning Blaine gets up half an hour earlier than the week before, not wanting to take the risk of running late again for Wrangler’s class. They’re supposed to get feedback on their camera assignment from last week, and feedback always makes him a little nervous. It’s got nothing to do with confidence - he can sing, and dance, and act, he knows that. But as an actor, your opinion of yourself is quite irrelevant. It’s the audience, or in this case the teacher, who decides whether or not you meet their expectations, it’s their approval or disapproval that will decide whether or not you get to keep your job. And Blaine desperately wants to keep his job.

As he downs his breakfast, he quickly checks his e-mails. No new messages, neither from Kurt (which is... disappointing), nor from Rachel (which is... well, it is what it is). Rachel and him were supposed to do the assignment together, but she’d never replied to his e-mail and so he had ended up doing the assignment by himself. He had no doubt Rachel had done the same. She probably thought she’d do a better job by herself, but was her brother the face of FreeCreditRatingToday? Had she been dragged to not one but TWO professional tv studios? Had she got her audition tape for NYADA edited by a professional Hollywood actor?

He didn’t think so either.

He’s not a hateful person, but he can’t deny that the idea of uberdiva Rabid Rachel finally being knocked down a few kegs because of her own ego brightens his day just a little bit, and when he walks down the hall to the classroom, there’s a big smile on his face.

Two of his classmates are sitting on top of their desk, quietly talking to one another, while two more sit in the corner watching something on one of their phones together, and it takes Blaine a moment to register why he feels like something’s happened. Because usually everyone is already in their places, usually nobody talks to anybody - they just sit and glare and wait for a chance to show off how much better they are. But it seems something has shifted, and he quietly slides into his desk, not quite sure where his place is in this new arrangement. Rachel arrives a couple of minutes later, completely ignoring him as she marches to her own front seat.

At least some things had stayed the same.

Wrangler arrives as he usually does - right on time. To Blaine’s disappointment, he doesn’t go through each of the assignments separately, but rather gives a generalized feedback based on the most frequently made errors. They match largely with what Cooper had been teaching him, though, and Blaine’s confident enough that he passed the course, until-

“Class dismissed. Good luck with the rest of your finals. Mister Anderson, Miss Berry - a word please.”

He immediately looks at Rachel, who narrows her eyes as if somehow he’s responsible for this, and as their classmates pack up and leave they make their way to the front of the class, keeping a hostile distance between each other.

“So,” Wrangler starts, crossing his arms as he glares at each of them in turn. "Care to explain why neither of you did your assignment?”

Blaine feels the ground sink away underneath him.

“I sent it to you! Yesterday, right before noon-”

“I sent it to you last Thursday-”

“-did you not receive it? I got a confirmation e-mail, wait, I’ll-”

“-and I hand-delivered a flash drive to you in the teacher’s room-”

“Let me rephrase,” Wrangler interrupts both of them, his glare somehow getting even more intense. “Why is it that I received separate video files on separate moments while I clearly stated that it was to be a joint assignment?”

“I tried to e-mail her-”

“There were three spelling errors. Three! A complete lack of professionalism!”

“-but I never received a reply, talk about professionalism-”

“As if you would know what that term entails-”

“As a matter of fact, I-”

“ENOUGH!”

Wrangler is a tiny man - shorter than Blaine, even, with short gray hair and a pair of glasses that is too big for his face. Neither of those things, however, diminishes his authority in any way, and when he bellows out that one word both Blaine and Rachel immediately shut up.

“I do not care who e-mailed who,” Wrangler tells them in a voice that is soft in volume only, trembling with withheld anger underneath. “I do not care about your spelling errors, or pseudo-professionalism, or whatever other issues you two have with each other. You have both failed this class-”

“B-but, sir!”

“You have BOTH failed this class. I will allow you to retake the class next semester, but only if you still complete the assignment as I gave it to you: together.”

“That’s a joke. You must be joking - sir, please-”

“I am not joking, Miss Berry, and I would very much appreciate it if you would stop interrupting me. Not many people have gotten a second chance at getting into this school as you did, and I suggest you do not take that privilege lightly. I can assure you, I would not have granted it to you. Now, I expect your assignment by Thursday, 11:59pm. And let me be clear: it is to be a joint assignment. The theater is filled with big personalities that do not always see eye to eye, and who still put out fantastic productions night after night. It is time you learn that your talent means nothing if you cannot see the talents of your colleagues. Now go before I change my mind.”

They both scurry to get their bags and escape Wrangler’s piercing gaze, and as they hurry towards the door, Blaine nearly trips, only just avoiding slamming into Rachel.

“Watch it, Anderson,” she hisses at him, “it’s bad enough that you got us into this mess in the first place.”

“I-what?”

“7 pm, my place, I’ll mail you the address. Do NOT disappoint me.”

And with that, she storms off, leaving Blaine standing in the hall by himself, wondering how this day went from great to terrible in such a short time. One thing’s for sure though: he is not getting thrown out of NYADA over this.

11. Kidnap / Eggnog

[seoartoon]

Gin Rummy - Two Player Card Games

Gin Rummy is one of the most popular forms of rummy. The game is generally played by two players, each receiving ten cards. Here is an article by David Parlett on the History of Gin Rummy, which was originally published on the Game Account site.

Note: I have been told that among some players the name Gin Rummy in fact refers to not to the game described below, but to the game which is called 500 Rum on this web site.

We would like to thank the following partner sites for their support:

Adda52 Rummy offers live, multiplayer 13 and 21 Card Indian Rummy on the web and Android phones and tablets. It is owned by Gaussian Networks and was registered in 2012.

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The Deck One standard deck of 52 cards is used. Cards in each suit rank, from low to high:

Ace 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Jack Queen King. The cards have values as follows:

Face cards (K,Q,J) 10 points Ace 1 point Number cards are worth their spot (index) value. The Deal The first dealer is chosen randomly by drawing cards from the shuffled pack - the player who draws the lower card deals. Subsequently, the dealer is the loser of the previous hand (but see variations). In a serious game, both players should shuffle, the non-dealer shuffling last, and the non-dealer must then cut.

Each player is dealt ten cards, one at a time. The twenty-first card is turned face up to start the discard pile and the remainder of the deck is placed face down beside it to form the stock. The players look at and sort their cards.

Object of the Game The object of the game is to collect a hand where most or all of the cards can be combined into sets and runs and the point value of the remaining unmatched cards is low.

a run or sequence consists of three or more cards of the same suit in consecutive order, such as club4, club5, club6 or heart7, heart8, heart9, heart10, heartJ. a set or group is three or four cards of the same rank, such as diamond7, heart7, spade7. A card can belong to only one combination at a time - you cannot use the same card as part of both a set of equal cards and a sequence of consecutive cards at the same time. For example if you have diamond7,  spade7, heart7, heart8, heart9 you can use the heart7 either to make a set of three sevens or a heart sequence, but not both at once. To form a set and a sequence you would need a sixth card - either a  club7 or a heart10.

Note that in Gin Rummy the Ace is always low. A-2-3 is a valid sequence but A-K-Q is not.

Play A normal turn consists of two parts:

The Draw. You must begin by taking one card from either the top of the stock pile or the top card on the discard pile, and adding it to your hand. The discard pile is face up, so you can see in advance what you are getting. The stock is face down, so if you choose to draw from the stock you do not see the card until after you have committed yourself to take it. If you draw from the stock, you add the card to your hand without showing it to the other players. The Discard To complete your turn, one card must be discarded from your hand and placed on top of the discard pile face up. If you took the top card from the discard pile, you must discard a different card - taking the top discard and putting the same card back in the same turn is not permitted. It is however legal to discard a card that you took from the discard pile in an earlier turn. For the first turn of the hand, the draw is done in a special way. First, the person who did not deal chooses whether to take the turned up-card. If the non-dealer declines it, the dealer may take the card. If both players refuse the turned-up card, the non-dealer draws the top card from the stock pile. Whichever player took a card completes their turn by discarding and then it is the other player's turn to play.

Knocking You can end the play at your turn if, after drawing a card, you can form sufficient of your cards into valid combinations: sets and runs. This is done by discarding one card face down on the discard pile and exposing your whole hand, arranging it as far as possible into sets (groups of equal cards) and runs (sequences). Any remaining cards from your hand which are not part of a valid combination are called unmatched cards or deadwood. and the total value of your deadwood must be 10 points or less. Ending the play in this way is known as knocking, presumably because it used to be signalled by the player knocking on the table, though nowadays it is usual just to discard face down. Knocking with no unmatched cards at all is called going gin, and earns a special bonus. (Note. Although most hands that go gin have three combinations of 4, 3 and 3 cards, it is possible and perfectly legal to go gin with two 5-card sequences.)

A player who can meet the requirement of not more than 10 deadwood can knock on any turn, including the first. A player is never forced to knock if able to, but may choose instead to carry on playing, to try to get a better score.

The opponent of the player who knocked must spread their cards face-up, arranging them into sets and runs where possible. Provided that the knocker did not go gin, the opponent is also allowed to lay off any unmatched cards by using them to extend the sets and runs laid down by the knocker - by adding a fourth card of the same rank to a group of three, or further consecutive cards of the same suit to either end of a sequence. (Note. Cards cannot be laid off on deadwood. For example if the knocker has a pair of twos as deadwood and the opponent has a third two, this cannot be laid off on the twos to make a set.)

If a player goes gin, the opponent is not allowed to lay off any cards.

Note that the knocker is never allowed to lay off cards on the opponent's sets or runs.

The play also ends if the stock pile is reduced to two cards, and the player who took the third last card discards without knocking. In this case the hand is cancelled, there is no score, and the same dealer deals again. Some play that after the player who took the third last stock card discards, the other player can take this discard for the purpose of going gin or knocking after discarding a different card, but if the other player does neither of these the hand is cancelled.

Scoring Each player counts the total value of their unmatched cards. If the knocker's count is lower, the knocker scores the difference between the two counts.

If the knocker did not go gin, and the counts are equal, or the knocker's count is greater than that of the opponent, the knocker has been undercut. In this case the knocker's opponent scores the difference between the counts plus a 10 point bonus.

A player who goes gin scores a bonus 20 points, plus the opponent's count in unmatched cards, if any. A player who goes gin can never be undercut. Even if the other player has no unmatched cards at all, the person going gin gets the 20 point bonus the other player scores nothing.

The game continues with further deals until one player's cumulative score reaches 100 points or more. This player then receives an additional bonus of 100 points. If the loser failed to score anything at all during the game, then the winner's bonus is 200 points rather than 100.

In addition, each player adds a further 20 points for each hand they won. This is called the line bonus or box bonus. These additional points cannot be counted as part of the 100 needed to win the game.

After the bonuses have been added, the player with the lower score pays the player with the higher score an amount proportional to the difference between their scores.

Variations Many books give the rule that the winner of each hand deals the next. Some play that the turn to deal alternates.

Some players begin the game differently: the non-dealer receives 11 cards and the dealer 10, and no card is turned up. The non-dealer's first turn is simply to discard a card, after which the dealer takes a normal turn, drawing the discard or from the stock, and play alternates as usual.

Although the traditional rules prohibit a player from taking the previous player's discard and discarding the same card, it is hard to think of a situation where it would be advantageous to do this if it were allowed. The Gin Rummy Association Rules do explicitly allow this play, but the player who originally discarded the card is then not allowed to retake it unless knocking on that turn. The Game Colony Rules allow it in one specific situation - "action on the 50th card". When a player takes the third last card of the stock and discards without knocking, leaving two cards in the stock, the other player has one final chance to take the discard and knock. In this position, this same card can be discarded - if it does not improve his hand, the player simply turns it over on the pile to knock.

Some people play that the bonus for going gin is 25 (rather than 20) and the bonus for an undercut is 20 (rather than 10). Some play that the bonus for an undercut, the bonus for going gin, and the box bonus for each game won are all 25 points.

Some play that if the loser failed to score during the whole game, the winner's entire score is doubled (rather than just doubling the 100 game bonus to 200).

A collection of variations submitted by readers can be found on the Gin Rummy Variations page.

Oklahoma Gin In this popular variation the value of the original face up card determines the maximum count of unmatched cards with which it is possible to knock. Pictures denote 10 as usual. So if a seven is turned up, in order to knock you must reduce your count to 7 or fewer.

If the original face up card is a spade, the final score for that deal (including any undercut or gin bonus) is doubled.

The target score for winning Oklahoma Gin is generally set at 150 rather than 100.

Some play that if an ace is turned up you may only knock if you can go gin.

Some play that a player who undercuts the knocker scores an extra box in addition to the undercut bonus. Also a player who goes gin scores two extra boxes. These extra boxes are recorded on the scorepad; they do not count towards winning the game, but at the end of the game they translate into 20 or 25 points each, along with the normal boxes for hands won. If the up-card was a spade, you get two extra boxes for an undercut and four extra boxes for going gin.

Playing with 3 or 4 Players. When three people play gin rummy, the dealer deals to the other two players but does not take part in the play. The loser of each hand deals the next, which is therefore played between the winner and the dealer of the previous hand.

Four people can play as two partnerships. In this case, each player in a team plays a separate game with one of the opposing pair. Players alternate opponents, but stay in the same teams. At the end of each hand, if both players on a team won, the team scores the total of their points. If one player from each team won, the team with the higher score scores the difference. The first team whose cumulative score reaches 125 points or more wins.

Other Gin Rummy pages The Gin Rummy Association's Gin Rummy Tournaments page has information about forthcoming Gin Rummy events, including regular live tournaments in Las Vegas, and the site includes a summary of the rules used in these tournaments.

The Gin Rummy pages of Rummy-Games.com give rules for many Gin Rummy variants, plus reviews of Gin Rummy software and online games.

Several variants of Gin Rummy are described on Howard Fosdick's page (archive copy).

Gin Rummy rules are also available on the Card Games Heaven web site.

A comprehensive set of rules for Gin Rummy in German can be found on Roland Scheicher's Gin Rummy page.

Rummy.ch is a German language site offering rules for Gin Rummy and many other rummy games, plus strategy articles and reviews of online rummy sites and a forum.

Software and Servers Gin Rummy software: Malcolm Bain's classic Gin Rummy program for Windows is available from Card Games Galore. A shareware Gin Rummy program can be downloaded from Meggiesoft Games. A free trial version is available. The collection HOYLE Card Games for Windows or Mac OS X includes a Gin Rummy program, along with many other popular card games. The Gin Rummy Pro computer program is available from Recreasoft. Special K Software has software to play the game of Gin Rummy. This software is available at www.specialksoftware.com. Best Gin Rummy by KuralSoft is a program for iOS with which you can play Gin Rummy against a computer opponent. Games4All has published a free Gin Rummy app for the Android platform. Blyts have published Gin Rummy Free in versions for iOS, Android and web browser. Servers for playing Gin Rummy on-line: Gin Rummy League is a free iPhone/iPad app for online Gin Rummy. Game Colony offers head to head Gin Rummy games and multi-player tournaments, which can be played free or for cash prizes. Net Gin Rummy, which allows you to play against a computer opponent or with a human opponent over the Internet, LAN, modem or direct connection, is available from NetIntellGames. Mystic Island AOL games (formerly games.com / Masque publishing) offers Gin Rummy and Oklahoma Gin Gaming Safari Ludopoli (Italian language) PlayOK Online Games (formerly known as Kurnik) World of Card Games Cardzmania Yimmaw Gameslush.com offers an online Gin Rummy game against live opponents or computer players. Rubl.com Cowboy Gin Rummy is an idiosycratic version of Gin played online against the computer, in which the object is to win as many hands in succession as possible in the minimum time.

[rjwrites22]

On Failure

A continuation of my previous post (the reblog).

“Story Time”:

I've always been told that I'm really smart, and I believed it to the point that if I did badly at school I felt like a complete failure as a person. I actually taught myself to read when I was like 3 or 4, and someone compared me to a calculator at one point, so I think I was perfectly within my rights to believe them.

In first grade, my mom tried to get the school to let me skip right to third grade, but they wouldn't let me, as they said I'd be "eaten alive" socially. I've never been good with people, so I don't think that would have mattered much.

Up until fourth grade, I did really well in school. I can't remember why, but that year, I started forgetting to turn in my homework, so my grades started dropping. The forgetfulness continued, and procrastination joined in at some point.

In high school, my sophomore year, I failed at least the second semester of Spanish 2, if not both semesters. I dropped the class the next year, even though that severely narrowed my list of options for colleges.

Junior year, I failed both semesters of English 3, since we had to do research papers both semesters and I've always hated them, so I didn't end up doing either one. Did summer school for that class, and the research paper I had to do in order to graduate I wrote over spring break my senior year.

I also failed second semester of U.S. History junior year, but I don't know why that happened, just that I had to retake the class.

My mom threatened to kick me out of the house when I turned 18 if I didn't graduate when I was supposed to. With her, doing well isn't something to be praised for. It's an EXPECTATION, at least when it comes to me.

I almost didn't graduate, by the way, but not because of anything academic. My school requires a certain amount of PE credits to graduate, 3.5 years' worth (but people in sports could get out of the class for the semester the sport was in), and I've never been all that good athletically. The final exam for second semester was running 3/4 of a mile in a certain amount of time (and they claimed to grade on effort, not skill! Hypocrites). I needed a certain grade on my final to pass the class (I think it was a 41, but I'm not quite sure), and I got two percent more than that (I think it was 43, again not sure). So I literally passed high school by TWO PERCENT on my fucking PE final. I hated that class for the most part, and I think that it's completely reasonable for me to do so.

College time now. First semester of my first year was hell, in more ways than one. My seasonal depression was the worst I can really remember it ever being, likely due to the added stress of both college AND the political clusterfuck that was the end of 2016.

In Calculus, the professor has a policy that if you don't have at least a 60% after the second chapter test, which is effectively the midterm, you get dropped from the class. After the second test, I got dropped, and I felt like a complete failure. I've always done well in math, so this was a real hit to my self esteem.

I also failed psychology, but that was because petty much all our assignments were online, so I forgot to do them.

Band, I got a D in. Why? Because the professor gave writing assignments, and I HATE those, so I didn't do them. I also forgot to do them, but that's not really the point.

Got a shockingly good grade in English (B), and chemistry was good too.

Second semester wasn't too much better. Failed English, because I got the due date for the research paper wrong by two days. Failed chemistry, because I missed a couple days and didn't have time to catch up before the test.

First semester my second year was worse, grade-wise. Retook psychology, failed once again for the same reason as before. Retook calculus, and I passed it with a D. I needed a C or above to move on to calc 2, so that sucked.

I was supposed to take economics, but financial aid was a bitch and it was an online class so when I couldn't get the book I was screwed. After I got the book, which I had to buy loose-leaf and thus couldn't return, I found out that I'd been dropped from the class. That damn book cost me like $200, so I was pretty ticked off by that.

Second semester that year was great, like REALLY great, so no real comment on that here since this is about failure.

First semester this year - my third year. It didn't go as well as I'd hoped.

Over the summer, I got a job. Third shift at a factory in town, 10:30pm to 6:30 am. I continued the job through the end of August, but then I had to quit for my own well-being. My classes were pretty much all day on Tuesday and Thursday, with nothing on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I would get off work, go home, shower, then go right to school. Classes almost straight through from 10:35 to 4:50, no lunch break or anything, then I'd go home, catch a few hours of sleep, and go to work again. I had a nervous breakdown in physics one Thursday, when I literally COULDN'T EVEN THINK. Physics was my last class of the day, so I was almost dead by the time it started, so... Yeah. It wasn't great. Quit my job a week after the breakdown.

I got a D in physics, or maybe a VERY low C. I blame the fact that I probably didn't absorb all that much for the first few weeks, since I was basically a fucking zombie during that class.

Took economics again, this time an actual class. I thought it would be a time-filler, something I'd do because I needed the credit from it. It was actually a lot of fun, though. Got a B.

Calculus, I have no idea how well I did, even though the final was a week ago so the grade is definitely online for me to see. I'm too scared to look at it, since I didn't do too well on the tests.

Actually, I had a dream about my calc grade this morning. I'd gone online and checked, and my final grade for the class was like a 46%. That was just a dream, thank god, though it did nothing to help my fear of what my grade might be.

I'll check the grade at some point, might remark on it here if I remember to.

tl;dr: RJ fails at shit but keeps going because I'm a stubborn bitch.

Moral of the story? If you fail, you can move on from it. If you fail the same thing multiple times and keep going at it, then you're just as stubborn as I am - though I certainly hope you're better off mentally than I am - and I commend you for your persistence.

Keep on keeping on, people.

[ruler-of-the-blrds]

ngl like the “many of these ‘bad grades’ are in fact far more intelligent then the students that get perfect scores” line really annoys me. Esp cause you literally just said those questions were very confusing and involved jumping through a lot of hoops.

Maybe?? Don’t pit certain kinds of intelligence against each other. Being able to get good grades on American Tests is a skill all on it’s own (one that in a perfect world people wouldn’t need to know, but that doesn’t make it “less intelligent” jfc.) There is no such thing as more intelligent/less intelligent. Because intelligence is not like? a solid concept. It’s just having certain skills sets in certain context.

ie I’m knowledgeable in art, but I wouldn’t say that makes me more/less intelligent than someone who’s “equally” knowledgeable in car repair because you literally can not compare those two topics.

Basically destroy the idea that anyone is more intelligent or less intelligent than anyone else (don’t mention IQ to me, I hate the idea of IQ, no it does not = how much smarter some people are than others. It’s literally just how good people are at answering certain questions, with practice IQ can be raised)

But anyway, onto the main point of the post. The issues with the school system and grading run far deeper than just “people aren’t asked how to comprehend what they’re learning only repeat facts”, which is indeed a problem, but it’s deeper than that.  And I feel like this post is just “the american school system sucks” but fails to provide many actual solutions. 

If we want to talk issues with the american grading system and tests:

1. The grading scale sucks, esp the 7 point grading scale, I went to a HS with it and it sucked. First America needs ONE solid grading scale, preferably one were a 50% isn’t failing

2. Kids should be allowed to retake tests and redo assignments as many times as they want during the school year. In addition turning in late assignments should be totally acceptable as long as it’s handed in by the end of the school year. You want to encourage critical thinking skills? Okay first teach children that being wrong is not a bad thing and to learn from their mistakes. 

“But if we allow students to retake assignments and send in late assignments they won’t study and it’ll encourage students to procrastinate, plus it’s not fair to me who got an A on time” first of all, if you’ve ever procrastinated, it’s not fun, having to do all of your assignments at the end of the school year would suck. Also if a student is taking awfully long to work on an assignment, maybe theres a reason for that and the teacher could i dunno, discuss it with the student. People aren’t “lazy” without reason. Also if you got an A on your first try good for you, you don’t have to worry about retaking it, how is that unfair to you?

3. We need more open-ended questions which actually involve the students thinking critically about the topic at hand. There are some right answers, but more than one. And again, they should be able to take those tests and quizzes multiple times.

4.  Kid’s need more breaks and less sitting around and being talked at. 

5. If students are failing the teacher needs to be held responsible for dealing with that, not the students. Teachers who brag about their classes being hard, are bad teachers.

6. The homework work load needs to be lessened. 

7. Something my HS did, that other schools need to incorporate is “test scheduling” which basically meant every subject had a day where they could give tests so no students had multiple tests on the same day. 

8. Stop punishing kids who get low grades or misbehave in class. Not inherently about the test system, but if a kid isn’t enjoying school and your “fix” is to kick them out of the class room, or worse the school system itself, you’re part of the problem.

9. As the person above me mentioned, funding needs to no longer be based upon how good the school does at standardized tests. Funding needs to be spread out more evenly. 

10. Speaking of standardized tests? Get rid of them. They don’t really serve much of a purpose and they just do not need to exist. 

A bonus, but stop acting like the only relevant classes are math/social studies/science/english. Also Provide more language options aside from the basic Spanish, French, German, and Latin. Not that those languages aren’t important to learn, but so are other languages (teach ASL in school). 

There also is deep systemic racism in the school system when it comes to test taking that needs to be fixed (surprise a lot of the schools that do poorly in standardized tests are schools that have a heavy POC population, and surprise those are the schools that get less funding, it’s almost like the government is trying to push POC out of schools and into prisons so they can’t vote in some school-to-prison pipeline 🤔).

Heartbreaking Simpsons Moments 1/∞: Bart Gets an F

[digigal-transbian]

Better to?

Is it better to be alive and constantly miserable? Or dead and know peace?

If I fail a class this semester, there is an extremely high likelihood that i will be pulled out of college for financial reasons. If that happens I've been told I will have no choices, my life will be ultimately destroyed. The only job I'd be able to get is a minimum wage, soul crushing mindless existence. I'd never be able to afford a second chance at college. I'd never be able to survive on minimum wage, I'd have to get two jobs and even then I'd barely make ends meet.

And that's if I was able to get a second job. I'd never know love because I'd be too busy trying just to survive and after that too tired to function. 2 full time jobs is not exactly free to have feelings like love. And with who I am, finding someone would be a damn miracle and god has already proven he shall have no mercy on me.

And the gods know I'd never have a lucky break with writing or art, if I even had the time or energy to put into either of them.

Every check just going to not being dead for another week, stuck in a job or if I'm lucky, 2, that I hate, barely making ends meet, all because when I was 19 I got cocky and ended up failing Precal or was forgetful and failed English because if it.

To be able to say, "I was young, dumb, sure of myself, and because of it I've amounted to nothing, never known love, was never able to have a family, and lived a fate comparable to hell on earth."

I've been religiously told this for the last 6 months by my parents. And 6 months is lowballing it.

My biggest fear is dying alone. My second biggest fear to be forgotten. If I fail both are going to happen. I'm going to die alone in a house that is barely holding together without a soul to remember me.

I'll be forgotten within a week of my death, if not, a month at most. Nothing I've ever done will have mattered, ultimately I was just a waste of the universes time, even if I did make a couple peoples days just a little bit brighter.

Is it better to live and be miserable with no hope, or to die and be done with it?

At this point it's basically pass or die. A 70 on my math final to pass and have to retake because of how it is with my major, an 85 on it to never take that class again, and with English I've done what I can and at this point all I can do is hope.

And don't any of you dare call me selfish for this. To call suicidal people selfish is selfish itself. You're only concerned about the impact that persons death would have on you or their family, worry about the person who wants to kill themselves because they are in pain or see no other option.

And never call me selfish. I've made every choice for somebody else. Choice in college was because if years of "if you go to clemson you'll make your grandfather proud." And he's the actual kindest person I've ever met of course I dont want to let him down, I couldn't get there on my highschool GPA or ACTs so I found some backass method to get there. CSU has an applied math program that does 4 years there, 2 years at Clemson and you get two degrees for the 6 year period.

My father was all for that for the reason of being able to rub it in my aunts and uncles faces.

This is the same man that punched a brick wall hard enough to let out a blood curdling scream, make the house shake from the punch, and instill the fear of death in a child because a 12 year old didnt do his English homework. Why that 12 year old didnt do their homework? Just didnt want to, so over time did less and less of it.

Which is a legitimately normal thing by the way, 6th graders dont always want to do their homework and of course they are going to lie about it, dont act like his responce was in any way justifiable.

The man to this day still threatens to pin me to a wall and beat the shit out of me if I lie to him again, which wouldnt be as much of an issue if he didn't terrify me to the point of never telling him anything ever again out of fear for my life.

My choice of major was because of him. I wanted to be a doctor for a while but then my mom spent a collective 5 years dying in the hospital, so that dream died. No fault to her she couldn't control it. I then wanted to be a psychiatrist, therapist, that deal. Made the mistake of mentioning it around dad and got told promptly "it's not a real job." 10 year old me gave up on that real quick.

Then it went lawyer for a while because I figured a good paying job will be acceptable, hes always on about money anyways. After months upon like a year or something of "oh it's a lot of school and it's really hard and are you sure about it?" That dream too, was killed.

So the next thing I said was computers. Nothing more, nothing less, and it was finally acceptable. It was the most predicatable answer out of me and the first one to really be approved of. So for years i was content not having my dreams put down, then came college and I put my dreams down for computer engineering, on the track to clemson.

I then changed my major to computer science and over time put some thought into my actual interests.

Astronomy, the language of the stars. Physics, the language of the universe. Linguistics, the study of language. Writing, where you can be a god of your own little world. Geology, because rocks are just cool yo. Intetior Design, every time dad drags me to work with him I sit around and mentally start designing each room. And at the bottom of the list, Computer Science.

And the final mistake made in this whole college thing, I applied to only 1 college and to 0 scholarships. The scholarships I got are state ones, and I was told to keep a 3.0 GPA, which if you've ever seen one of my report cards you know how bad of an idea relying on that is. You have to have no idea what any of my report cards have ever looked like to think for a minute that trusting I will keep a B average for 6 years with no problems at all is even slightly a good idea.

So when my grades came in first semester, the night of December 13 I was legitimately shaking in fear for my life. December 23 when my parents found my grades out they gave me a 2~3 hour scream and then since then all my tech, aside from my phone and laptop, has been sitting in a tote box in my closet.

April they see my grades again and since then I havent been allowed to even have my door closed, and was strongly told that if I'm caught reading anything that isnt for school they'd burn it.

I could have probably avoided half of this if I was just a little more selfish, but I made every choice for someone else. If I was just a little more selfish I would be in a college half the price of CSU in a major that wouldnt be my last choice. Were I just a little more self centered, I wouldn't fear my father killing me over my grades.

Maybe I'm so destructively selfless because every moment that was supposed to have been about me quickly became about someone else. High school graduation after the fact during the pictures I got pushed to the side so my cousins could have a picture of just them, when there literally were three other walls and outside that they could have done that. Have you ever taken a picture outside at night? It's got a beautiful magic about it, and the lights were on dont even try to say "oh it's too dark", also cameras tend to have a flash so that's no excuse to push ME out of the way on MY graduation day. Kinda a big deal to me because when you look at my extended family I am among the few that have graduated high school, like half of them haven't even done that.

My graduation party the next day, I was given my gifts and then ignored most of the rest of the time. I was there for about 6~7 hours, and relevant for about 15 minutes. My college acceptance letter was opened and read by my parents before I even woke up. In fact, they woke me up by yelling at me from the kitchen to get in there. I walk in there, they're at the table smiling like idiots that just won the Nobel prize, and they hand me an open letter and tell me to read.

And my birthdays result in me being relevant for ten minutes of the hour at the pizza hut, and most of that is being asked about school and grades. The rest of the time is my parents and grandparents bitching about my drug addict unfit parent cousins. Like, my birthday is supposed to be about me, not them. And I am more than just school and grades, you would not believe how long it took me to realize that.

I have one bit of advice for anyone that might need it. Live your life for yourself for your reasons and never let somebody else live through you.