#also the central idea of this series is 'all of your favourite characters are acting completely out of character'

[fushiglow]

Thank you for the incredible ask, @akuji05 ♥ I'm always grateful for an opportunity to talk about my writing, especially when it's a fic like Balance that means so much to me! You've given me a lot of juicy stuff to sink my teeth into, so I'm going to break it up and stick it under a 'read more' so I don't take up too much space on the dash.

For anyone else reading, here's your warning that there are spoilers for my Star Wars AU (and Star Wars in general) under the cut!

Yes, the Force dyad concept has so much potential, but it really feels like it was wasted in canon Star Wars. For me, SatoSugu offered the perfect opportunity to explore it in more depth and use it to devastating effect!

I know the Prime Jedi featured in The Last Jedi was inspired by the iconography of yin and yang, and that notion of duality is central to my understanding of SatoSugu, so it seemed logical to blend the two ideas into one. Personally, I think that's what the storytellers were going for before the entire thing was derailed by corporate meddling. It's a shame, but I'm happy I get to play with it using this pairing who are are practically built for this concept!

And thank you so much ♥ I'm really glad it reads as effortless, because I agonised over this fic for a long time!

Listen, in case it wasn't blindingly obvious, the three characters in this fic are my favourites (and it was SUCH a pleasure to write them together). However, a huge part of what makes Gojo such a delicious character to me is how all of his qualities are in conflict. I always think about how Nanami compares him with Mahito, describing that "picture-perfect frivolity and the sinister strength behind it." It's such an economical and precise way to encapsulate Gojo's character to me, and I'm always holding it in my subconscious when I write him, no matter the setting. So yes, Gojo is annoying, but there's a little more to it. And we love him for it!

I'm so happy you heard Geto purring his name! As much as possible, I'm always deliberate about how I use their names in my fics, both in my dialogue and in my prose. As you rightly suggest, the way they refer to each other in canon and the familiarity that reveals to the reader is too important to ignore!

Writing from an outsider's POV was such a treat for this exact reason! The journey poor Megumi goes on in this fic is quite something...

He is SUCH a girl dad, you're so right! Though I don't quite see Gojo or Geto as fathers to their respective wards in canon (and I have a lot of big feelings about Gojo's relationship with Megumi which I've picked apart a few times in my fics), Geto comes a lot closer. It makes it so easy (and fun!) to slot him into that role in AU settings, but in all settings, I just love comparing and contrasting Gojo and Geto's "parenting" styles. As suggested by their little argument here, I don't think either one of them has got it quite right!

Ahhh I'm so glad! I love sprinkling those little nods to canon into my writing and it's always a pleasure to hear that it doesn't go unnoticed!

Also, it's definitely an affectionate "idiot", even if he'd never admit it ♥

I admit that was self-indulgent on my part, so I'm so happy to hear you liked it, too! Ugh, I just love writing their complicated relationship and I'll always do my best to handle it with the care and nuance it deserves. They are so precious to me!

Your questions are super intriguing! The truth is, when I set out to write Balance, I didn't know exactly what I was going to do with the story. As I suggested in the tags for the fic, the idea of turning it into a fully fledged series with a more complex plot running through it was always in the back of my mind, but whether I decided to go through with that was going to depend on so many different factors.

With that in mind, I made sure to write Balance in a way that meant it could stand up as a self-contained complete story in the event that I never came back to the universe. As it turns out, however, I'm actually planning to publish part two (of many) on Star Wars Day next month! We're going back in time, so there's a chance that some of your questions will get answered in future instalments, but I'm definitely filling in those gaps retroactively.

When I wrote Balance, I hadn't fully developed the lore behind the Children of the Star; it was just a reference to the main enemy SatoSugu faced together in canon. I really like the idea that Tengen is similar to a Mortis god, but I'm also very taken with the idea that Tengen wasn't always a jujutsu crafted "monster" in canon, so I think a Yoda-esque role could also work well. I definitely think that cloning has some part to play in this universe, too. The Rise of Skywalker presented some intriguing ideas on that front, albeit with terrible execution.

So I guess we'll find out the answers to your questions together?

So, there were actually a few things that influenced my decision-making. Rey's yellow lightsaber becoming part of the new canon definitely worked in my favour, but the main reason I went for that instead of purple is simply because I personally prefer Geto with amber eyes! It's just another way I can draw a contrast between him and Gojo across my fics, including this one.

The other big factor was simply because I wanted to allow for some ambiguity in the colour. The unstable, crackling blade is something I borrowed from Kylo Ren's lightsaber. Though I know it was unpopular with many fans, the idea that his relentless pull to the light prevents him from fully bleeding his kyber crystal is something I really liked. I thought it would work well for Geto, who has a much deeper understanding of the dyad born from a much deeper relationship with Gojo.

In this AU, I imagine his relationship with light and dark is even more complicated than Kylo's, so I thought that would have interesting consequences for any attempt he made to bleed his kyber crystal. Simply put, although both yellow and purple bleed into red on the colour wheel, it felt like it would be harder for Megumi to pinpoint exactly how far he's leaned into the dark if I went with amber instead. Was it always that yellowy orange? Or was it green once upon a time Well, perhaps we'll find out next month!

Also, I LOVE your thinking on Geto's style. Couldn't agree more!

For brevity, I didn't include the whole dance sequence (yes, that's how I like to refer to it!) you quoted, but I'm really happy to hear it's your favourite, because it's mine too! Thank you so much for your compliments on this part in particular, that's incredibly high praise ♥

And so are your comments about Megumi's sequence, ahhh! You picked up exactly what I was putting down and I'm so glad. To me, this trio of characters are tangled together by circumstance.

Again, this is one of those things that I'm going to have to patch together retroactively! At the time of writing this, it was just making the natural links between "bounty hunter" and "fearsome warriors" and the beast that is Fushiguro Toji. Having given it some thought, however, the Maki/Sabine Wren parallels go pretty hard! Especially when you consider what happened to Clan Wren and the fact that she was a non-Force sensitive apprentice for a time...

So again, maybe we'll discover the answers together, but I'm glad to hear you're invested!

Oh my god, brutal! But yes, you're absolutely right on that last part!

Ahhhh, thank you so so much for taking the time to leave such an incredibly detailed and thoughtful comment in my inbox. I could NEVER find it annoying or tedious! This is kind of meaningful engagement that every fanfic author dreams of, so it wasn't a waste of time, I promise. I hope my reply was satisfying for you, and I really hope that you like where I take the story from here.

Thank you again! ♥

[aotopmha]

(Chapter 59)

In hindsight, I think this might be my favourite chapter of at least this half of the arc.

Working through this arc, I keep going back to it as sort of a central thematic pocket.

We have the same sentiment come from a bunch of characters on both sides, so the really obvious criticism here is just how much it hits you over the head with it, but again, I like how this story is willing to interrogate the nature of its own violence.

In the scenes above I like how Armin's experience is related to Mikasa's. The further I get into my reread, the more I feel like their friendship is always underplayed in discussion, I think it really is much more developed than people give it credit for.

I also like that the anime leads with Kenny's appearance and this section of the story because I think it's a much better first introduction in terms of showing the conflict instead of telling it.

By making the section more compact, some character moments do get lost, but I think the issue of redundancy is lessened considerably.

I've seen this arc being simplified down to it telling the audience just how much humanity itself is the monsters, when I think the emphasis is actually on individual perspective and how everyone thinks what they're doing is right (for the future of humanity).

The Survey Corps stands against the suppression of information and technology and want to survive, while the royalists (and by proxy basically Uri) view what they're doing as keeping peace within the walls.

Uri in particular views maintaining the system as creating a paradise for the people before they're wiped out by the outside world, with the walls serving as a deterrent for as long as they can live in peace.

So, with the information we now have in hindsight, knowing what the royal family stands for especially helps a great deal in putting together this arc's thematic ideas.

The sentiment is that humanity within the walls should be able to protect itself: the better technology would help in the defense against a Marleyan attack (or simply just help defeat the Titans on the island) and fighting the suppression of information would allow the general populace to know about the position they're in relation to the bigger world.

It's about the government of a nation ignoring a threat to their people and just letting them be invaded/killed when the time comes.

It's pretty straight-forward dystopian writing, but I like it.

Again, there is an imperialist reading to this sentiment where this poor, poor nation just can't have its military back (because this can be an imperialist talking point), but this is also a common way of framing the armament of an invaded nation as aggression rather than self-defense.

But I just don't see this series' foundational substance and framing being this insidiously conspiratorial.

I don't buy it being a dogwhistle narrative because all of the extremists are characters acting based on "understandable reasons" (but are still evil) and all of the "good guys" are aware of their fallibility and at some point or another make dumb mistakes.

There is a clear bias towards the scouts, but never a completely overwhelming one and even the most positively portrayed scouts have very specific personal/selfish reasons driving them.

Erwin, probably the most positively portrayed member of the Survey Corps, ultimately just wanted closure for his father's dream. There is a very specific measured humanity to all of the characters.

I also don't buy the possible narrative intention that the scouts are wrong to go outside of the walls or that all of this character/thematic complexity/writing effort is there as just a formality, when the same point could've been made by very specific easier and faster narrative choices.

Just make the Titans monsters with nothing else going for them. That's it, got your fascist/imperialist fantasy right there and it still could masquerade as the same zombie series for those who "don't know to look into it".

It's absolutely possible, but I'm leaning towards the more simple answer, which is cognitive dissonance.

Since Isayama's alleged controversial statements are a decade plus in the past (doing some research, I discovered that controversial blog post is at this point 15 years old) and he doesn't seem to have doubled down on any of them, I'm going with the more good faith read of him just not realising the contradictory nature of anything he said and those specific views not really reflecting in the story.

But who knows, maybe this turns out to be the case at some point. It's still entirely possible considering some of the talking points the story uses at all.

(Maybe I, as a very naive person, really have fallen for a dogwhistle all of this time. After all, nobody is immune to it.)

For now, I continue going with the much easier "face value" read for the story, though. I think everything just makes much more sense that way, from basic framing to thematic choices.

[markwatkinsconsumerguide]

Consumer Guide / No.132 / Actress and singer, Sukie Smith, with Mark Watkins.

MW: What important decision in your personal life have you based largely upon intuition? What about professional life? How did these choices pan out?

SS: That's a really interesting question and my relationship and acknowledgement of intuition has just come back into focus. I’ve sort of denied it on and off for a few years and that is never a good thing. I think my intuition is always having a dialogue with me, but I have a willfulness and self-destruction that pushes it away ... I can’t ignore it, but I can deny it. I think intuition plays an everyday part in assessing the tone of a situation, safety, potential joy etc. but specifically tangible decisions.

Early on in my acting career I was offered a huge lead in a long running well respected series. I turned it down. They were disappointed, my agent was angry, my contemporaries thought I was insane. I loved the show, the cast, the directors, the part was amazing ... but I just didn’t feel that it was right ... six months later I met Mike Leigh and made Topsy Turvy with him which wouldn’t have been possible if I was committed to the series. So, I was justified. Haa.

In music, it's about a sensation around people, whether there is a connection, a teletherapy between you that means you can speak freely about music somehow...abstract...gentle. I have to trust someone implicitly and quickly to be able to communicate. I guess that's intuitive, knowing who to be private around and who is receptive to ideas. 

MW: How easy or difficult was it to obtain your Equity card and, fairly concisely, what was the process to get you there?

SS: I auditioned for a theatre who had an equity card. I played Tiger Lily in a production of Peter Pan which I thought was very glamorous. I had been to The Royal Central School Of Speech And Drama for three years and was taken on by a big agent. She helped me find a union card. In that production I was also a mermaid with a tail made out of a duvet singing a siren song behind a cardboard wave ... yes...very ridiculous.

MW: How did you get the part of Laura Branning in EASTENDERS? Describe your favorite scene…

SS:  I auditioned for Laura Branning in Eastenders in a distracted way because I had just signed to a record label and was about to release In Case of Emergency, so I didn't really acknowledge what a huge deal it was in terms of the amount of people who watch the show. I adored working with June Brown and Barbra Windsor, they were so lovely, they treated the whole cast like it was one big family, really invested in their characters, stories and performances. The director who cast me insisted my character never smiled: 0. 

My favourite scene? The first entrance of the character was brilliantly dramatic ... with the music starting just as I delivered my killer line. It was all astonishing and watching it a few months later was surreal... a David Lynch style twist of reality. 

(Here's a clip of another scene in Eastenders, Max confronts Rachel)

MW: You’ve done a cross-section of wonderful artistic performance things, and continue to create; do all these arrows in your quiver represent you not wanting to be pigeon-holed? OR would you have liked to be known specifically for one particular aspect? 

SS: Thank you for noticing. I wonder if our culture invites us to settle and stick with an identity as an artist (or as any defining notion) too soon, or at all and limits us because of it. I am very interested in musicians and artists who explore lots of disciplines. Because it's all the same isn't it, it's an outpouring. I cherish the exploratory paths I am on, there’s not an end goal…it's all about being investigative. I am curious about people's methods of thinking, so I made a podcast to ask them about it. I enjoy excavating a character from a text written by someone, so I make films etc.

Being an independent musician means it's necessary to do many many things, writing, demoing, recording, rehearsing, playing live, making videos, marketing. A LOT. I love collaborating with other musicians or artists, being part of someone else's world. Working on a Bolts Of Melody track for Adam Franklin or being involved with a live radio play written by Bill Drummond (KLF) and Johny Brown of The Band of Holy Joy or singing backing vocals for Micki Berenyi’s band Piroshka. Lots of examples ... what I really enjoy is being part of something which is unclassifiable. I was very proud of my first album being listed on iTunes as such. 

MW: I bought Maxinquaye on CD in 1995. Tell me about your involvement with Trickyreincarnated, and, reflecting back, any particular memories of the mid- 90’s which ushered in a range of new music, including Britpop… 

SS: I remember first seeing the video with Tricky and Martina Topley-Bird singing ‘Aftermath’ on some late-night video show and just feeling like time stopped. What the fuck was that .... so, so brilliant ... I lived in Camden then, right in the middle of everything. It was a time soaked in music, everything was about seeing a show, being on a guest list, reading about bands, meeting bands, recovering from seeing bands, going to clubs, being so excited about everything. I was out every night at something, Blue Note, Laurel Tree, Astoria, The Falcon, The White Horse, discovering Jungle, Bangra, Acid Jazz. Labels like Creation, Nude and Food putting on nights, watching some bands become huge, going to Knebworth, being back…just astonishing and happy making. Everyone was making music, I started to write songs on a bass a friend lent me , make demos etc. Living in a big, shared house everything feeling very, very creative. It was a beautiful and inspiring time.

The way I met and worked with Tricky is a set of coincidences and near misses. I had previously worked with an artist called Silent Strike (electronic composer) co-writing a couple of tracks on albums of his after he found my music online. We didn’t meet for the longest time, just exchanged tracks via the internet. Five or six years passed and then out of the blue, during covid, he asked if I would write lyrics and a melody for an e.p he was making. I was very depressed and freaked out during the pandemic and I nearly didn’t record anything ... anyway to cut a long story short, Silent Strike had been making tracks with Tricky who heard my song and Tricky invited me to Berlin to co-write and record Hell Is Round The Corner-Reincarnated.

I had said in an interview years and years before that the only people I wanted to work with were Lee Scratch Perry and Tricky ... so deep magic. He is astonishing, summoning up a track in a day just by force of will and extreme focus...I am very, very proud to have been involved with that track ...he is a very impressive human. 

MW: Tell me about your new album, The Glass Dress And A Ringing Bell…

SS: Previously releasing three albums as Madam, and recorded them with my band who rehearsed the songs and then recreated them in a studio environment, this is the first time I arrived at a studio with my ten songs fully written, a head full of ideas and some field recordings but a more experimental and instinctive way of approaching the songs. Nick Trepka and I would speak about the sonic atmosphere of a track and listen to any field recordings I might have, a storm in a harbour, a medical machine, wind in telephone wires etc. and start to build a track around my guitar and vocals. As soon as we started to commit to a direction for the song it became very clear to me what would work or not, it was very exciting and frustrating and heady and complex! I love the way this album sounds.

I included the Silent Strike collaboration Fixed Star and also a song written and produced by Gareth Moss who when he isn’t playing bass in Madam is a prolific songwriter / producer. This track was the first time we worked together from a long time ago when he was releasing music as Vyvyn Howl. There are contributions from Adam Franklin, some guitars and keys and John Robertson, some lead guitars and Jeff Townsin on drums on a couple of tracks. All other sounds on the eight songs recorded with Nick are played by me or him. My good friend Roxanne Ducharme is an award-winning animator and AI artist, and she is making a film for 'We Try Not To Think About It Now' to coincide with the release of the vinyl version of the record, released in September (2024). 

The Glass Dress and a Ringing Bell | Sukie Smith (bandcamp.com)

MW: What are you currently reading, listening to, watching?

SS: I am reading a biography about the British/Mexican surrealist painter Leonora Carrington.

On the radio, I am listening to podcasts about fashion or space mostly, right now about designer Elsa Schiaparelli. As for music, I just bought a turntable, so I am listening to my old records from when I first started buying music, Kate Bush, Bowie, The Mamas And The Papas , mostly 'The Ninth Wave' on the Hounds Of Love. New artists, I like music that Tricky releases on his False Idols label and also very early music, quarter tone...Indian folk songs, medieval vocal stuff.

I stream movies, I watched I Am Not A Witch recently, which is amazing TV, always a documentary, I speed watched Feud with Tom Holland playing Truman Capote just to see his outstanding performance (we worked together on Lawless Heart) oh and Ripley to see Andrew Scott who I was in a play with at the Royal Court ... a scandi noir Detective thing is always good isn’t.  

MW: Up next, in order, your Top 10 records... 

10 ‘Strange Weather’ by Keren Ann (from her 2011 album, 101)

9 ‘This Is Hardcore’ by Pulp (1998)

8 ‘Leader Of The Pack’ by The Shangri-Las (1964)

7 ‘Fancy’ by Bobbie Gentry (1969)

6 ‘Lose Yourself’ by Eminem (2002)

5 ‘Lust For Life’ by Iggy Pop (1977)

4 ‘I Put A Spell On You’ by Screamin' Jay Hawkins (1956)

3 ‘Prisencolinensinainciusol’ by Adriano Celentano (1972)

2 ‘Unfucktheworld’ by Angel Olsen (from her 2014 album, Burn Your Fire For No Witness)

1 ‘Strange Fruit’ by Billie Holiday (1939)

Absolutely impossible task .. : ) 

MW: What artwork would “we” find hanging in/around your home? 

SS: A huge painting by John Lee Bird, along with other paintings and prints of his, then early works of artists I have met when I ran a gallery in Hackney, including Serena Korda and Lee Triming & colour and black and white photographs by James Alexander. Anything that painter Rachael Robb has gifted me.

MW: Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you invite for dinner? Pick as your (new) best friend? As your (new) love interest? 

SS: For dinner? I don't like eating in front of people, but for drinks maybe Mary Magdalene might have some wild stories.

Friendship? ...some beautiful wise dog, big like a bear.

Love? I am as loyal as a swan ...I could never love another. 

MW: Do you believe in God? Regardless of your belief/s, would you / do you PRAY in difficult moments? How do you feel about this, depending on whether you’re a believer / non-believer? 

SS: God by another name, or consciousness,I say thank you a lot. I don't know who to...I think my songs are a dialogue with my soul, so that's in the mix of belief / non-belief isn’t it ...this is a big subject for an interview.

When I was profoundly unwell in hospital, in and out of morphine reality, probably not going to survive, I saw another world. I wasn’t sure if it was opioid confusion or if I was seeing something other. Now I have recovered the atmosphere of that place is still vivid, like an echo or a memory of sound, a view through a mirror, through a window and yes prayers.

There is a song by Regina Spektor called ‘Laughing With’... (2009) that’s just about the size of it isn’t it ... no more suffering for anyone,no creature, plant anything. I pray for that. 

"No one laughs at God in a hospital No one laughs at God in a war No one's laughing at God When they're starving or freezing Or so very poor

No one laughs at God when the doctor calls After some routine tests No one's laughing at God When it's gotten real late Their kid's not back from that party yet

No one laughs at God when their airplane Starts to uncontrollably shake No one's laughing at God When they see the one they love Hand in hand with someone else And they hope that they're mistaken

No one laughs at God When the cops knock on their door And they say "We got some bad news, sir"

Artist | Sukiesmith.com | London

Sukie Smith (@madam_sukie_smith) • Instagram photos and videos

(c) Mark Watkins / July 2024

[scottpaladin]

1. What stage of production is the most fun for you? Acting/directing. It's the most collaborative stage and the one with the tightest feedback loop. I love working with performers and putting on silly voices and getting the giggles at hour two of a recording. It's great. Love to every actor I've ever worked with

2. What’s a role in a different show you’ve heard one of your cast members in and just been absolutely blown away by? Have you heard @satyrofstrategy in anything he's been in? That dude always blows me away.

3. Show us an excerpt of script you’re extremely proud of.

4. Is there a specific episode that was especially fun to work on? It's a cop-out but the upcoming Fable of the Family mini-series was SOOOOOOOO much work but it's been really rewarding and had some of the best times recording it.

5. Be honest, which is your favourite character to write lines for? Don't make me choose between Heck and Zed Wild. I love them both so much in different ways.

6. You have to turn your podcast into a different type of media: what do you go for? Look, if HBO or Netflix wants to give us a half a billion dollars to make Breathing Space into a TV show we would do it, but honestly a comic-book would be really cool.

7. Tag a show you think would make a great crossover with your own (and maybe make it happen, who knows 👀) I don't listen to enough other shows to know one off the top of my head but I'd love to hear people's suggestions.

8. Pick a character from your show and put together an outfit you think they’d wear. I did this already with Heck and Cat and @achill3a went off and drew it and it's amazing

9. If your show was a different genre what genre would it be and how would the plot change? Breathing Space can't be anything other than what it is. The show is the setting and the setting is the genre and the genre is the philosophy behind it.

10. Recommend a couple of other shows for people who like your own! If you like Breathing Space, there's a really good chance you'll like SINKHOLE and ROGUEMAKER (what is it with us an all-caps stylized sister shows?)

11. Share a fun bts fact people might not know. The Peregrination is a transplanted idea from a dead project of mine. When Breathing Space started development, I dragged it out of the box of ideas and it helped form one of the central pillars for the setting.

12. Share something about a future episode that will mean nothing right now but will one day. "I ate a baby once"

13. What’s your favourite portion of sound design from the show? From my own stuff, I *really* like having someone close a spacesuit helmet mid-line. So you can hear their voice change from clear to slightly muffled. I do it a lot but you can hear it in Long Way Home From Ceres and Ride Boldly Ride. But also all the glitches and noises in I Walk These Hills and Objects in Motion. One of my favoritest things to make.

14. Share a show meme.

@incorrect-bsff-and-memes for more.

15. Are you working on anything else outside of this show? Yes! I am in the writing process for a horny werewolf noir audiodrama called It Takes a Wolf, hopefully that will premiere in the fall of this year!

16. Briefly outline your process for making a season happen. The dev writers lay out how many and what sort of episodes we expect to write, then we put out a call for pitches, read those and select from the candidates. Everyone writes for a month and we make sure that each script gets read by at least two editors. After revisions, things go to casting. Casting days are FRANTIC as we play a giant game of tetris to make sure we all get the best fit actors for parts. Then we schedule recordings, trying to get as much as we can done synchronously (all actors and director on a call). Then the editors crawl into their holes to make it all come together.

17. What’s something that inspired your show? Only speaking for myself: The Expanse, Firefly, the collected works of Robert A Heinlein, Mass Effect, Battletech Lore, Eldurado (the john wayne movie), Secondhand Lions, SIlverado, the works of Aaron Sorkin, the music of @narcissistcookbook, and Enter the Haggis and fuck, a whole lot else.

18. What’s something you’d like the audience to take away from your show? People are people. Mostly trying their best. Working together is the only way to beat the system. Fuck Amazon.

19. Do you have any playlists/music you listen to while working on production? https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGGpS-cz1Ls33WVVAMvQ26Y04kUqo9tqY < this is mine for the latest season.

20. What’s a moment from the show that just absolutely took your breath away when you heard it come together for the first time? Too many to count. At least one an episode. But the climax of Ride Boldly Ride felt like such a gamble when I was making it and it turned out so good and I never have gotten over that. But also maybe hearing the FotF theme for the first time.

Audio drama ask meme: Creator edition

The last one was extremely fun, but I want this one to help people help promo their wonderful shows!

1. What stage of production is the most fun for you?

2. What’s a role in a different show you’ve heard one of your cast members in and just been absolutely blown away by?

3. Show us an excerpt of script you’re extremely proud of.

4. Is there a specific episode that was especially fun to work on?

5. Be honest, which is your favourite character to write lines for?

6. You have to turn your podcast into a different type of media: what do you go for?

7. Tag a show you think would make a great crossover with your own (and maybe make it happen, who knows 👀)

8. Pick a character from your show and put together an outfit you think they’d wear.

9. If your show was a different genre what genre would it be and how would the plot change?

10. Recommend a couple of other shows for people who like your own!

11. Share a fun bts fact people might not know.

12. Share something about a future episode that will mean nothing right now but will one day.

13. What’s your favourite portion of sound design from the show?

14. Share a show meme.

15. Are you working on anything else outside of this show?

16. Briefly outline your process for making a season happen.

17. What’s something that inspired your show?

18. What’s something you’d like the audience to take away from your show?

19. Do you have any playlists/music you listen to while working on production?

20. What’s a moment from the show that just absolutely took your breath away when you heard it come together for the first time?

As always, please reblog, share, and enjoy! No need to send asks!

[lilydvoratrelundar]

sometimes comic writing is silly in that “they’re all shooting off one-liners while they punch each other” but the thing is when its done badly you NOTICE. the reaction isn’t "oh yeah i guess this is media for children but also this is spider-man.” when its done badly the response is a) about five seconds trying to understand what the joke is meant to be, b) a slightly baffled “is that meant to be... funny?” and then c) they would NOT say that they would NOT

[crusherthedoctor]

Narcissistic evil lairs, huh? Which of Eggman's bases is your favorite? (Or favorites, plural, if you have strong feelings on more than one!)

We'd be here forever if I listed all of them, so I'll keep it to the biggest ones. :P

Death Egg: Iconic for a reason, and not just because of the plagiarism. It was the central focus of an ongoing saga, and since one of the games of that saga was S3&K, it was also the focus of arguably the greatest non-dialogue story in the series. You get a little taste of it in Sonic 2, but when you actually explore the full thing in S3&K? Worth the build-up, without question. The Act 1 background not moving an inch the entire time you go through the level really highlights just how gargantuan it is, and it all culminates with one of the best Sonic VS Eggman final battles of all time.

I believe that the best Eggman bases should say something about Eggman's character. In the Death Egg's case, it shows off his persistence, since not even crashing down to the same island twice could stop his determination to get it back up and running.

Egg Carrier: I used to be somewhat indifferent to this one because it felt like an anti-climax when coming after the Death Egg, but I've really grown to appreciate it over time, much like SA1 in general. A lot of that is because just like with the other stages in the game, there's a whole lot of set pieces that make it very memorable. The monorail system, the beach room... the bathroom...?

Although, I do wonder how it would have looked if it had more purples, like in the concept art...

Pyramid Base: I love Eggman, and I always had a childhood fascination with Ancient Egypt, so it's a win-win for me. This one encapsulates the sheer ruthlessness of his narcissism: He can't leave it at building his own monuments, oh no, he has to go and reface other monuments as well, history and culture be damned. Despicable and hilarious at the same time. That's our Eggman!

Also, the night time backdrop for Sand Ocean, with the moon and the illumination of the torches? So pretty, and makes the pyramid itself all the more striking.

Circus Park: For a game that shat on Eggman narrative-wise, it was generous enough to give him a bunch of cool and varied bases. Cryptic Castle is great, as is Lava Shelter, but I think my favourite one from the game has to be Circus Park because of how colorful it is, and because of the hilarity of seeing a level like this in Shadow's game of all places.

What's that, you want to find out about your traumatic past, using guns and swearing to do so? WELL FUCK YOU, Eggman wants to show you his theme park. ~DA-DA DA-DA-DA-DA DA-DA DA-DA, DA-DAAAAAA~

Seeing Eggman get excited over his own stuff is weirdly adorable too. :D And isn't it hilarious that THIS is the level where Shadow says his most infamous line?

The line is funny, but the background makes it funnier.

Eggmanland: Some criticisms with the actual gameplay aside (which are mostly Werehog-related), it can't be denied that it was awesome to see Eggman's dream come to life. After going back and forth on what he wanted Eggmanland to actually be, it seems he decided to combine all his ideas together, making for a part-theme park, part-city, part-volcano, all-business extravaganza. I also appreciate how it gets more straight-up industrial and hellish the further you go on.

I won't deny that I would have taken the concept an extra step further (I'd like to give examples, but that'd be spoiling a certain fic), and Dark Gaia stealing the limelight at the end is a downer. But for a first attempt at Eggmanland's vision, it's a good one.

Incredible Interstellar Amusement Park: And for a second attempt at Eggmanland's vision, this one is great too! It's so fun to see the different attractions, and Eggman's comments on them throughout the game are undeniably a highlight. So much personality, so much character, so much Eggman.

Which attraction is my favourite? Probably Aquarium Park. The red and blue contrast is beautiful.

Titanic Monarch: For the longest time, I wanted a giant Eggman robot so massive that it counted as its own level (aside from Panic Puppet, I guess). This zone fulfilled that dream, and gloriously so. Whether it's the outside or the inside, I LOVE that it manages to be dark and ominous, while boasting nearly every colour of the rainbow at the same time. And stained glass windows? Inside a giant robot? Absolute mad(egg)man.

Honorable mentions: - Scrap Brain for being the original Eggman lair, and thus worthy of respect. - Crystal Egg for the unique concept alone. - Egg Fleet for being just as iconic as the Death Egg at this point. - Pirates' Island for being an interesting take on a Not-Soleanna for Captain Whisker. - Press Garden for making a fun level out of a newspaper factory of all things, and because it's neat to see all the little ways Eggman apparently tries to undermine Sonic, like creating anti-Sonic propaganda in this case. - The Eggmanland/Robotropolis from the OVA because although we don't see much of it, the giant neon Eggman is a brilliant stylistic touch.

[radiosandrecordings]

I love TTRPGs as a storytelling medium. Not even for anything inherent to the gameplay of it, more just for the way in which they force people to tell stories and create characters. Because what I think TTRPGs like TAZ and RQG and Skyjacks do best is character, and character interaction.

Because built in to a TTRPG is a concept that I adore: That there is no one singular protagonist. 

Because every is not acting, not reading off a prewritten script someone else wrote. They are embodying a character. They are writing as they go. They are leading their own narrative and view themselves as the main character because only they truly know how their character works. If an actor reads a script they get the words on the page, but in a TTRPG the player is forced to construct the whole character in their head, their motivations and backstory and hundreds of things that will never make it into the show but inform the decisions that character makes. It’s beautiful. 

I’m going to take Skyjacks specifically as an example because I think it exemplifies most what I mean what I say ‘Every character is a protagonist’. In Skyjacks, the four player characters are: A nonbinary amnesiac fallen angel as old as time who may or may not have killed god, a 200 year old changeling, a teenage doctor turned necromancer who ran away to be a sky pirate, and a fifteen year old boy who has godlike abilities and can sometimes see the future. 

In literally any other story type it would be too much to have all of them in one show. They’re all ridiculous, over the top characters that could carry a seven book series with themselves as the protagonists on those small premises alone, not to mention the things they go through and how they change throughout the series.  But here it works!! Somehow!! And Skyjacks is one of the few shows I cannot choose a favourite in (RQG mentioned above being another) and it’s because of this! It’s because every character is a protagonist in their own right and it’s absolutely captivating! They’re all given equal storytime (There’s an exception but it’s a spoiler but Skyjacks fans know it was justified) wheras in a scripted piece, save something with two narrators or something, you’d normally be confined to one person who is The Big Fancy Protagonist. Take another popular podcast, The Magnus Archives. I love it! But there’s few characters I’d want to hear narrate the story other than the protagonist of it. With Skyjacks I could spend hours being told about each of them. But somehow they work cohesively. You’re never bored because in separate scenes they all stand up on their own and create compelling stories. But together? They thrive. 

And that’s the other thing I love. TTRPGs are the richest genre I’ve found in terms of the term ‘Found Family’. A group of characters (sometimes involving literal family, see The Taako Twins and many others) all brought together by an outside force and forming an unbreakable bond due to how their experiences have forced them to care about each other. They are family through choice. This is often due to simply A) TTRPGs often feel more personal than just reading off lines and acting, so understandably there’s less romance (or less intense romance) than in other things as the players, or a player and DM, don’t really want to spend time flirting with each other in characters that can often be viewed as extensions of themselves, especially because the players are often Friends Who Would Find It Weird, or siblings (Gable (PC) and Hildred (NPC) get their romance in Skyjacks but it’s just small humerus flirting and a kiss described by the DM, and in TAZ Taako (PC) and Kravitz (NPC played by the player’s brother) also have a romance, but it largely happens offscreen or through narration, not RP).

And thus there is this lack of romance. Romance is so often shoehorned into media to show how Deep and Meaningful a character’s connection to another is and TTRPG’s, foregoing this, have the chance to explore these beautiful and complex relationships between characters without the constrictions of ‘they’re doing it for romantic love’ in there. Zolf and Sasha have this kind of half brother-sister, half father-daughter relationship in RQG and I adore it and I feel like in the hands of any other genre it would have turned into ‘and then they get together because this is a story and this is how those end’. But it doesn’t and I’m so grateful it doesn’t because god I love exploring actual in depth, layered and beautiful dynamics that aren’t just romance. 

I also think TTRPGs often fall into these found family dynamics because they know they have to rely on character interaction and RP to make a good podcast. It’s an audio medium (Or video, but then it’s just the players holding up lil miniatures on a map) and as much as a fight in a TTRPG might be fun to play, it’s boring for a listener if not done well. So TTRPG podcasts have to create characters who are interesting to hear interact with each other. They are, as I said, all the protagonist at all times, because they’re all present. Not including times an actor can’t appear for an episode or something, there are no times the characters are not with each other. Sure there are side quests, and splitting the party, but they always gravitate towards each other. There’s no New Protagonist introduced for a new arc besides NPCs and they take a backseat usually (with exceptions like TAZ, which is STILL found family within those NPCs!). No protagonist gets left behind or killed off for pure shock value (and if they die, they’re placed by another, equally important PC). Your characters are your driving, central force because they are the story tellers and the world bends around them are their choices. There is no risk of them being forced into a plot that doesn’t fit the character because whatever the character does is what that character acts like because they are being crafted in real time from the only person that knows how to properly play them. 

This is long and rambles, but in summary: I love TTRPGS and the way they bring people together to tell a collaborative story. I think they are one of the best forms of storytelling because it is not just built off of one person’s experience and their ideas but of a whole group, usually friends who know and love each other and find fun in the creation of the story. I think that might be a large part of why it’s resonating with the current youth too. It is a storytelling medium that is so unique to itself and just... Incredibly beautiful 

[frumfrumfroo]

I see so many stupid takes on what a “revised” ST storyline would look like. Granted, almost all of these are still better than the dumpster fire that is TROS. But a lot of these still don’t make sense because a lot of people still miss what I think you articulate so well in many of your metas: that the ST is about the Skywalker family, the unresolved trauma, and with Ben Solo as the heir and person who should tie up all the loose ends (I can’t put it as elegantly as you do, but the whole thing you have repeatedly said about him living and having children, reconciliation of Anakin and the Skywalker “name” to society, repairing the unresolved issues Leia had with her father, etc etc). I just saw another stupid take where Rey is Obi Wan’s secret daughter who has been abandoned (wow way to go shitting on Obi Wan’s character) and therefore has anger issues, hates the Jedi and worships Vader, Ben is not force sensitive and grows up a diplomat learning from Leia, Finn is a Jedi randomly, Poe is a pilot for no reason I can think of or why he even exists, and Rey needs to be saved by Ben (how? Why? Why not by Finn if Finn is the Jedi and Ben is doing just fine in life.) Oh and the dyad is created by Obi and Anakin’s ghosts, and also Rey is asexual bc she is too angry—I support asexual character representation but not if it is a manifestation of maladaptive behaviors rather than a healthy state of being). I mean, all of that could be interesting, maybe in an Obi Wan family saga spinoff series, but I fail to see how this is about the Skywalkers or ties in thematically to the central characters of OT/PT. Like why should we care? I suppose if we learned that Leia did reconcile with her father, and the galaxy at large knew of Anakin’s redemption, and Ben didn’t grow up with this fear of fatalism, fine I can see perhaps that storyline “working” but again...it wouldn’t really be about the Skywalkers anymore, who in that version seem to all be well adjustsd, happy fufilled functional people. But why not then just call that story a complete new series instead of a sequel...(and btw that “version” has almost no mention of Luke, and most OG fans are interested in seeing where their original heros ended up etc etc). I fail to see why Rey even needs to be around in these “alternate” versions. Just make a completely new story set in SW world but not a “sequel” then, that would be fine. Anyway, every time I see stuff like this, I come to your blog to re-read your metas because you are one of the very few people who GETS the story. Please preach some more to the choir (if inspiration strikes). I need to be reminded that there actual people in the fandom who cares about Ben, the Skywalkers, thematic coherence, and GOOD STORYTELLLING. Anyway thank you so much for your detailed and insightful analyses. They are truly a delight and a balm. If it’s not too much trouble, could you by chance link to some of your own fave metas you’ve written, or that you think are the most important to understanding the ST and Ben etc? Do you recommend any other bloggers whose metas on Ben and ST you feel are good and enjoy? Thank you!

Thank-you so much, anon! 🥰

Yes, the problem with so many ‘fix-it’ ideas or ideas of what the ST ‘should’ have been is that they have nothing to do with the Skywalker Saga or its themes. If you just want to write about new characters in the GFFA and not meaningfully continue the same narrative about the family and the question the Skywalkers exist to ask, then it’s not part of the same story. Which is fine, but it’s not a sequel. You can’t unpick the end of RotJ and destroy the resolution of the original character arcs if you’re then going to make them glorified cameos to give your unrelated newbies a pep talk without providing a fuller and more complete statement of the original message and the original arcs. That’s an either/or choice. Either actually make a sequel and deal with the implications of that or don’t.

The most stark contrast between TLJ and TFA/TROS is that TLJ is written as a fully equal and living part of the story, it treats the characters as characters and takes for granted that it is part of the saga not just a tribute to it. There are elements that are meta, it does comment, but it doesn’t approach the OT heroes as icons frozen in amber incapable of change or allow its new characters to act like fans of the films rather than people who live in the universe. And this is why it’s so much better and so much more memorable. It’s an actual story which stands on its own two feet.

Probably my most key posts on SW’s themes and worldview are in the tags space crime and punishment and the legacy. My Ben tag covers a lot those two miss and also has reblogs from other people whose meta I would really recommend (especially benperorsolo). This is a round up I did mostly about Rey’s arc/place in the story, but it’s pre-tros and missing some links. Her tag has more on sw protagonists and why I think none of the ‘alternatives’ people offer for Rey Nobody and Reylo work.

I think I linked most of my individual favourite posts in this answer lol.

[pluviophile-bookworm]

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Rewatch pt. 5

Technically, I shouldn't be doing this right now. But who are we kidding? I miss my Wildcats and this seems like the only thing I can do to see them again right now. So here goes

1x8: The contractually obligated emotional rollercoaster

This episode sure is a lot... I don't know if I'm ready. But it makes no sense to skip this one. I never skip through stuff I love, even when some parts are borderline traumatising. Plus I remember this episode having a bunch of hilarious moments that are definitely worth it.

'I'm really not sure what to say' — Me neither, Miss Jenn, me neither. I'm just sitting here watching this and I know I'm supposed to comment, but I just can't think of what to say. Sometimes the silence just speaks for itself.

'The Lucky Ducky Puppet Pavilion' — I can never overlook that line. Not when I know how much it took for Matt to deliver it. Fun fact: one of my cats is called Lucky, so when his siblings were about to be born, I briefly considered naming them Ducky, Puppet and Pavilion as a joke.

Ah, the El Rey. The place where Miss Jenn totally did not suffer a professional heartbreak. Things are about to get real here. And by real I mean... real dramatic.

I've got to say, I love the duality of Big Red (well, I do love everything about him so that was a no-brainer, but still): doesn't know how to hang a light, but sure does know how to light up a room; amazing with power tools, but took three weeks to make a paper-mache basketball because he kept gluing his fingers together (that last part is far more relatable than I care to admit). I just love him, ok?

The way Carlos acts about Miss Jenn's box of production notes... honestly, I totally get it. I feel like if there's one person at that point who cares about the show much more than anyone else, it's him. And I fully understand why that is. That poor boy has been lonely for too long, and this show is giving him the chance to be part of an accepting community for what feels like the first time in a long time. Just... give my boy Carlito all the hugs.

For a place that allegedly hasn't been used in so long, the El Rey is not nearly dusty enough. I mean, you should see my room if I forget to hoover for longer than a week. And we're talking about years here. There's allegedly mould in that place, but I don't even see dust. Oh well, maybe I would, if it weren't for that lighting — or lack thereof, more like.

'Whatever it says in Miss Jenn's audition file, I am me, and that is the only me I need to be.' — A beautiful sentiment, my dearest EJ. Now maybe hold on to it for a while... just a suggestion.

'Lacks emotional connection to the material' — well, I do have to agree. My first impression of EJ when I was watching the first couple of episodes for the first time was that he was 'too polished to be Troy'. Too much Technician, too little Performer. And I do love my Performers over my Technicians.

Wait, is that a Redlyn background moment I see? I mean, everything is super chaotic and fast-paced, and my two ginger babies are just sitting together on the side of it all. Bonding, I assume. Good for them.

Seb being the only one to know why Natalie is absent, along with the two of them sitting together in 1x1, makes me think... Natalie and Seb are totally besties! I mean, he's basically besties with everyone he ever talks to, so... what can I say, that boy is sunshine incarnate. He deserves all the love and appreciation.

'I know how to hang... out' — gosh, I love this one. And I can only hope everyone was laughing with him, not at him. Because there's nothing to laugh at. My boy got dragged into this whole crew stuff, it's not his fault he doesn't know everything. He's more of an on-stage person than a backstage person anyway. Maybe put him in the spotlight next time and prepare to get your socks knocked off.

No, Ash, your baking club is not at all irrelevant! Honestly, I have nothing but immense admiration for how Ashlyn manages to be in the top two students most dedicated to theatre and do all those other extracurriculars. And she probably has a 4.-something GPA, too. I don't know what the Caswells are feeding their children, but I need it this instant.

'I just don't know how to make things light up' — 'You walk into a room?' — I just... this is one of my favourite Redlyn moments in the history of Redlyn. See, the thing about Ashlyn's line here is the tone in which she says it. She doesn't mean it as a compliment, but as a statement of the absolute truth. You can hear that in her voice. And with good reason, too, because she isn't lying at all. My boy Reddy sure does light up a room by walking into it. Both of them do, really. They're soulmates, you know.

'This place is not creepy at all...' — Yeah, and things between Ricky and Nini are not totally awkward at all, either. I'm living for this.

'I can do Troy!' — Sure you can, Eej. Sure you can. Emotional connection to the material and all.

Ok, but this entire scene... Carlos marking Gabriella's lines completely flatly, EJ emoting like he's in a freaking telenovela and also chopping onions... Carlos' reaction to the latter... I'm living for all of this.

Big Red just suddenly appearing next to Miss Jenn has me rolling... and also kind of wishing he could appear like that next to me too. I mean, it's not like I've visualised that so many times... certainly not every time I have to pass by a stray dog, or give a blood sample, or talk to people, or whatever... why do you ask?

'I never really loved the name Nina anyway' — listen, I relate to the sentiment of not being super fond of your given name, but... what was that stuff in s2 about, then? I mean, I do understand that too, but the two just seem to clash a bit, I reckon. That's all.

Also, can we talk about Rini's chemistry and how it's sometimes there and sometimes nowhere to be found? I think I've figured it out. Every time the chemistry is there, they're talking about or doing things that are not necessarily inherently romantic. Reminiscing about kindergarten, how they gave each other their nicknames, 'the ribbon in your hair, the secrets that we shared, the way that you would stare at me across the room' (yeah, I went there, and for a good reason)... see, Ricky and Nini have that kind of thing going on where, however hard you try, you just can't be indifferent to the other person. It's obvious that they love each other so much, but whenever they try to make it romantic, something goes south. What I'm saying is, when you're really good friends with somebody and you try to force it into something 'more', or better said, something else (because romance is not inherently 'more' than friendship and you can pry that out of my cold dead aro hands), and the operating word here is 'force', things are bound to go wrong and even reach toxic territory. And Rini are living proof of that. Some people are just better as friends, and sometimes the entire 'I don't want to ruin our friendship' trope is very valid. I just want them to be best buddies, is that too much to ask?

Bless Steph for pushing Kourtney forward when Miss Jenn needed someone to sing! Honestly, it's moments like these that make me feel like the background characters are criminally underrated. I realise not every character can be equally central to the plot, but with this cast, I kind of want them to be. I have the feeling that most, if not all of the one-line characters in this show are people with just as much talent and potential as the main cast. They deserve recognition, you know.

Going off of the above, Dara Reneé is living proof of the point I just made. You know how Kourtney was supposed to be a one-scene wonder with two lines? And then Dara showed up and hiding her in the background was instantly out of the question. I wonder how many more hidden gems there are in the show, just sitting in the background, delivering their single line and waiting their turn in the semi-metaphorical wings.

'I just need a minute, or a vacation, it's not clear' — Me, all the time. Especially after I read chapter 11 of @redlyncentral's Let It Go. That ending broke me. And this line by Miss Jenn just reminded me of that feeling, even if what she's feeling right now might not be the exact same thing I went through with that chapter the other day. That being said, everyone go check out my lovely friend's writing right now, I promise you it's worth every second.

'We're going to take a... long five' — What, no 'thank you, five'? I was expecting that. But I guess everyone is a little bit too distraught for that now.

I have to hand it to Carlos — even when he's very obviously uncomfortable and lowkey scared of some people, he just goes up to them and calls them out. I wish I could ever be bold enough to do that.

Wow, not EJ thrashing Carlos' 'forest of boys' idea. Again. I don't get why everyone dislikes it so much, I think it's brilliant visual poetry and should have been given a chance. I said what I said.

You know, everyone has been calling the show out for saying HSM premiered in the cinema, not on telly like it did in real life; and I have been agreeing with that sentiment. But notice how Miss Jenn said 'the Utah premiere' and how there were family and friends in the audience? What if that was some sort of semi-private screening for cast, crew and their family members? It would make sense. And of course, it was held in Utah because that was where the show was filmed and where the majority of background actors, dancers and extras are from. Idk, but it makes sense to me. Note that I have very limited knowledge of how the period between post-production and the release of a movie works.

Isn't Ashlyn the best, though, always noticing when someone is not ok, hearing them out, helping them... I wish I could be half as good a friend as she is. She and Big Red are totally soulmates in that, too. And they deserve each other more than anyone else deserves them, honestly. I just love both of them so much, both as individuals and as a couple, and I cannot be made to shut up about that just yet.

I've got to say, the entire 'me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me' - 'you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you' thing was super funny. And it makes me love Rini — strictly as friends — even more. You know, I think I used to ship them during s1 because the script wanted me to. Exactly like I didn't notice Big Red until midway through the season because the script didn't want me to. Sometimes the script, the acting, the directing and other stuff has immense power over viewers' perception of a show's plot and characters. And that is, as I always point out, what rewatches are for — noticing things that may have escaped you the first time over.

Yeah, so Nini was Ricky's first crush. So what? Many people have had crushes on their best friend at some point or another. That doesn't necessarily mean they're better off as a couple than they are as friends. The opposite idea is just amatonormativity speaking. I mean, sometimes it's nice and it works out; I love me some well-written best-friends-to-lovers, but that's just not always the case and the media should stop pushing the idea that platonic relationships are in any way inferior to romantic ones.

I've got to say I really don't like it when someone interrupts two people's romantic moment (and Big Red is not exempt from my frustration in such cases even though I love him so much — just think of the In a Heartbeat scene), but honestly, bless Reddy for not letting Ricky and Nini kiss. I mean, I know full well they do kiss later on (and how!), but it's just nice to have semi-platonic Rini for a while. If and when we get season 3 (manifesting!), I really hope we get more of them putting some stuff behind them and just being best buddies.

Kourtney and Seb's friendship is honestly goals and I really wish we'd got some more of it. Just another thing to add to my season 3 wishlist. Along with, you know, an actual season 3.

EJ saying all those nice (and very true) things to Carlos has my heart (or, well, he's renting it temporarily from Redlyn and Seblos, but you know). And Carlos really was like 'A for effort, C for execution', and I adore him for that. But EJ is seriously growing. He's pretty much reached EJ 1.8 at this point, and I love to see it.

Say what you want about the Lucas Grabeel dream sequence, but I love, love, love it. Completely unironically. I mean, he's kind of my favourite OG cast member. And the 'I'm more of a Glinda' comment referencing Kate Reinders actually being one of the BWay Glindas? Here's a note from when I first watched 1x1: The drama teacher won’t stop spilling her coffee and I love her. Also, her actress was Glinda on Broadway, so I stan. See, I didn't even know Miss Jenn's name yet and I already loved her. But then she went and did some stuff in s2 and ruined all of that. Add 'proper Miss Jenn redemption' to my s3 wishlist, I guess. But I'm getting off-track (when am I not?)

I only just noticed that all of the iconic BWay leads mentioned in the song (sans Glinda, of course, but that wasn't even a proper part of the song) start with an E. I wonder if that was on purpose or a lucky accident...

'And you never know when you'll get a cameo...' — If anyone in the HSM franchise knows anything about making the most of a cameo, it's Lucas. I'm referring to his post-credits scene in Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure, of course. That is one of my absolute favourite scenes in the entire movie. Well, that and The Rest of My Life. I very unironically love that number.

Another thing on the list of things I very unironically love — the transitions both into and out of this scene. I just think they're neat.

Have I mentioned before how much I love it that Carlos' response every time someone asks where he has to be is 'Broadway'... it just reminds me a lot of Seb's 'Friendship!' — that's some soulmate stuff right there, if you ask me.

'I just... almost did something really stupid' — Yes, Nini, yes it was very stupid. And you're going to do it anyway. You wouldn't if I had any say in this, but I don't and so here we are. In a world where Rini are a romantic thing, Redlyn get 5 minutes of screentime in s1 and two major moments demoted to post-credits scenes, Seblos haven't even properly discussed their issues, and Portwell didn't even kiss on screen. I lowkey hate it here. Still, I feel like things are going in the right direction. If we get a season 3, that is — and we better be getting it, or I will riot and I know I won't be the only one.

No but... just imagine if Kourtney hadn't called YAC for Nini, but for herself. There's so much potential there... and I think Kourtney and Ashlyn deserved that spot every bit as much as Nini did, and then some. I said what I said.

Well, this was 1x8. This post is already way too long, plus I want to do a double feature of the last two whenever I get to rewatching them, so I'm ending this here. It was just as much of a journey as I remembered it being, and not nearly as negative as I had the feeling it would be. I absolutely loved it, you know. And with good reason too.

[maggiecheungs]

2020 ~everything~ wrap

i finally have time to do all of the tag games that people have tagged me in over the past month or so! i cannot for the life of me remember who tagged me in which one, so i’m just putting ~everything~ in one huge post. if i tag you anywhere then consider it a standing invitation to do whichever of these you haven’t done :) in fact, this is me issuing a standing invite to any of my followers who wants to do it :) also, thank you all!

Creator Wrap: Favourite Works

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

this collection of philosophy quotes paired with thai bl series, (and its sequel) which is possibly my favourite thing i’ve ever made. for, uh, nerd reasons.

these gifted text post memes i made still make me laugh sometimes

this fic about green from 2gether, which i wrote in the notes app on my phone and published the same day. not my absolute best writing but i am very fond of it <3

i have a bunch fof friend zone dangerous area edits/shitposts which i like, but i’m particularly fond of my fzda as satire headlines (which now has a sequel!)

i also love my crisgood-walmart-lesbian post. i might send it in to gmmtv to try and convince them to do a crisgood-bffs spin-off

+ bonus: since i wrote this list i made this gifset (my first ever!) of jennie panhan in the shipper and i love her too much not to include her on here

+ extra nerdy bonus: this niche meme about Chinese philosophy, which still makes me crack up whenever I think about it

Favourite Creators/Follow Forever

i’ve completely lost track of who’s following who from which blog, so this is just going to be a haphazard, non-exhaustive list of people who i adore/admire/am vaguely intimidated by, mutuality be damned. maybe we talk all the time! maybe we’ve never interacted! maybe i am constantly there in ur tags... lurking... 👀... but if you’re on this list you have made me smile at least once this year and i love you for that alone <3

@wjmild kylie!! you make gifs of arm & tay & lee (separately or in various combinations) & the shipper & and kapook & random fluke pusit cameos & school rangers so i don’t have to <3 ilysm

@janeramida vianey, you have such impeccable taste in general, but your sizzy gifset in particular is so gorgeous it lives in my mind rent free

@applelapis bri, this post was a callout and i want you to know that it haunts me at night as i lie awake staring at the ceiling :((((( i hope you are happy

@gigiesarocha cata, i love it when you show up on my dash bc you have!! such taste!! also, every time you gif gigie i gain five years of life <3 pls continue doing the Good Work

@pvrrish​ eleni, i remeber legit thinking that this was an official poster when i first saw it, it’s so beautiful

@ahysopae​ juliette your khaithird fic is so good and it literally changed the way i think about khai (not an easy feat)

@kurosawadachi angel, whenever i think about grace’s speech i remember your gifset and get literal chills

@doctorbahnjit alexa, you have no right to be as funny as you are. your friend zone edits give me life

@khaotungthanawat sam, you’re probably sick of getting tagged in these lists by random strangers, but i just had to bc your gifsets are Pure Art

@tanwirapong roa, all your gifsets are so ✨iconic✨

faiza @asianmelodrama and rahul @petekaos! yours were the first two thai drama blogs i followed and for ages i lowkey thought of you as my fandom parents.

and some more blogs that make me happy: @curlykytta / @lee-thanat  / @fck-inspector-m / @pangwave / @tichawongtipkanon / @tawanv @kimmonv (violet istg i have spent more time this year trying to figure out how many blogs you have than i have spent admiring your gifsets. & i spend a lot of time admiring your gifsets) / @taytawan / @1akorn and @yihwas (and your radiant lovechild @lakornladies ofc) / @teh-ohaew / @vihokratanas (mel your gifsets are just so gorgeous) / @tootiredtoosadtooangry / @headcompletelyempty / @demiromanticmickey​ / and there are definitely more but my brain is a sieve so apologies if i’ve forgotten anyone!! i love you all!! 

2020 HIGHLIGHTS ✨

rules: list your top 10 shows (bl or not) you watched in 2020 (doesn’t necessarily have to be shows that came out in 2020 though!)

1. 2GETHER & STILL2GETHER

my first thai drama, and even after all the amazing shows i’ve watched this year, it still has a special place in my heart. watching 2gether was the first time i’d ever seen a queer romcom that just... was. for me, by the simple fact of its being, 2gether was revolutionary. and then still2gether came along and took all the best things about the first season and gave us something beautiful and quiet and lovely and just proved to me, once and for all, that queer happiness doesn’t need to justify its own existence. there can be gay cuddles on the beach for no other reason than that we want them. 

2. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

i don’t really have the words for this one but. it makes my heart so very soft.

3. FRIEND ZONE 2: DANGEROUS AREA

season one was mindless fun because everyone was an absolute trashfire and it was hella cathartic to watch, but season 2... wow. i love it for so many reasons: it has messy and authentic queer rep; the characterisation is excellent and i somehow care about all of the characters; amazing women taking centre stage(!); a wlw relationship with lesbian, ace and bipolar rep; multiple interesting plotlines; actual character development; arm weerayut as a chaos gremlin... absolutely one of my favourites of 2020.

4. CHERRY MAGIC

i don’t think i need to explain this one, which is fortunate, because i have no idea how exactly i’d describe the happy-warm-fuzzy-queer-seen-loving-affirmed-profound feeling that rises in my chest whenever i think about it. 

5. THE GIFTED: GRADUATION

confession: i liked season 2 more than season 1 (with the exception of the ending, which we don’t talk about). season 1 was enjoyable and interesting, but for me it was season 2 which made me love this series. it did some incredibly interesting and complicated things (even if it didn’t quite nail the landing): it pushed characters to the breaking point and wove so many layers into the story and questioned its own underlying themes. plus, watching it alongside everyone in the fandom made it 200% better. i love all of you and i love this show. egg girl 5eva.

6. THE SHIPPER

i 100% understand why so many people didn’t like this show, or found it problematic, but through some fluke it absolutely worked for me (even the ending). one day i will write an essay explaining my rationale, but for now i’ll just say that it’s one of my favourite shows about adolescence and queerness and identity and compassion and friendship and love that i’ve ever watched. 

7. YYY

this series is absolutely off its rocker, and it somehow managed to be one of the most affirming shows i’ve watched. it shouldn’t have worked by it did, and i love it so much.

8. 3 WILL BE FREE

absolutely iconic. amazing plot, stunning visuals, great characters, canon polyamory, jennie being incredible... what a series.

9. MANNER OF DEATH

i love the fact that this show exists; i love the mix of crime and romance; i love maxtul’s acting; i love the central relationship; i love bun. i know we’re not even halfway through yet, but this show is doing something special and i’m so grateful that i get to watch it unfold in real time. 

10. CHIHAYAFURU (SEASON 3)

odd one out on my list, but I had to include it. chihayafuru is my all-time favourite anime and it finally got a third season, which is somehow even better than the first two. mashima taichi is one of my favourite characters of all time and his storyline hits me on such a profound level. plus, in the years since i first say this show i’ve fallen in love with classical japanese literature (particularly heian poetry) so i had newfound appreciation for the karuta matches (aka i cried every time someone recited one of my favourite poems)

other favourites: together with me, he’s coming to me, sotus and sotus s, my dear loser: edge of 17, why r u, theory of love, wake up chanee!, gameboys, pearl next door, uta koi (anime), three kingdoms (2010), blood and water (netflix). (itsay would almost certainly be on my list if i’d had time to watch it. same with dark blue kiss, which i had to pause so i could do my assignments)

Final Thoughts

well, it’s been... a year (i don’t think anyone needs a reminder of the details) but writing this post has reminded me of all the amazing shows and people I discovered over the course of it.

thank you to everyone for being so lovely and creative and funny and quirky and kind and passionate. you’re all incredibly awesome people and i wish all of you the very best xx

[pinnochiro]

pinn reviews - final fantasy xv

a long ramble about final fantasy fifteen that sort of looks like a review, as written by someone who finished the game fifteen minutes ago and needs to get these words out of his head. spoilers inbound.

i'm a pretty big fan of video games. i don't know what my first was, but it was probably either banjo and kazooie or mario kart 64, at my cousin's house when i was very small. i think that video games as a medium are so interesting, since the fact that video games are inherently interactive changes the way that they tell any story. it's a shame that despite loving video games so much, i'm absolutely terrible at them.

i'm absolute dogshit at video games. whenever i boot up something new, i always play on easy mode because. i'm that bad. unfortunately, this means that a lot of video games are simply. impossible for me to beat. that's fine, as at the moment i live with my good friend lizz, who is certifiably Good at Video Games, and so we've been playing video games together for a little bit now. typically this means that she will actually play the majority of the game while i sit with her and watch, but occasionally i'll have a go, but she'll end up with the controller as soon as a boss fight or puzzle or a mechanic i just can't seem to grasp shows up. we recently played through the entirety of the kingdom hearts series together, and this was an absolute blast of a time. i'm glad to say that i adore kingdom hearts now, and it's become one of my hyperfixations, which you might be able to tell from my icon. but we'd finished the kingdom hearts series, and we were left to move onto something else. we'd also played final fantasy 7 remake, so in my wisdom, i suggested that we play another final fantasy game.

we looked through the ff games that were already purchased on our consoles thanks to lizz's uncle, and eventually, we decided that we should play. all of them. however to start, we were going to play final fantasy xv, 15, and work our way backwards through the mainline, single-player games.

i'd heard that xv wasn't very good, but honestly, i was still quite curious. one person who i'd been following on twitter for years was pretty obsessed with the main party members, to the point where i knew their names and what-not even though i didn't have much of an idea what the game itself was about. i remember watching a video by supereyepatchwolf a few years ago about how the game sucked, but i couldn't remember much of the details, and i knew, based on my obsession with kingdom hearts, that xv had started as a different game called final fantasy versus xiiv. i don't know all the details about versus thirteen, but i do know that it was originally helmed by the creator of my beloved kingdom hearts, mr tetsuya nomura, and that after many years, the vast majority of the game was thrown out, nomura wasn't in charge any more, and the whole thing was rewritten and reworked, which sounds like a fairly rough development cycle. but so what, i don't care about gameplay. i want to play the video game with those cute guys that i see fanart of on twitter, and lizz seemed happy enough to play through it with me.

and so we started final fantasy xv. i've been told that since the game was practically dead on arrival, they threw in a bunch of new content and reworked a lot of the early game before i got my hands on it. so my gameplay started with a scene of the four guys fighting some demon dude on fire and they're all old and grotty. whatever, that cutscene ends and we're put into a combat tutorial. that's over and we're on the road in what looks to be central america, pushing a car.

our four leading lads are noctis, the prince of the lucis empire, his best friend prompto, his bodyguard, gladio, and his chef and other things, ignis. i do quite like the main four members of the party in xv. prompto is quite easily my favourite, voiced by robbie daymond of goro akechi fame and with a bunch of fun little animations and quips that make him very likeable. he gets extremely excited at the idea of riding chocobos and has what i considered the best scene of the game, where he and noctis meet on a motel rooftop and discuss prompto's imposter syndrome, since he's only part of noctis' official retinue as his best friend. noctis is a fairly typical main protagonist, he's in love with a woman he hasn't seen in eight years and needs to go marry her or something, i don't care. gladio is a tough macho man with a mullet who wears leather jackets and wields a greatsword, and is apparently only 22, which is at least 10 years younger than i assumed. ignis is a strategist and chef, who takes on the most authoritative role and constantly tells noctis to not drive his car at night. i was not a fan of ignis at the start, but he grew on me, especially with how hard the game hit me with his personal arc. the four boys are off, driving to noctis' wedding in a different country across the desert when their car breaks down. we then run into the first issue of the game.

cindy is a mechanic. she also has her ass and tits out constantly, like your sleazy uncle's shirt with a naked woman was instead semi-alive as a video game person. she fixes your car and acts fairly sexual and it's just like. why do we have to do this. aren't we over overtly sexualised women in video games who have no reason for the way they dress other than the character designer was horny? whatever, i like women as much as the next guy, but cindy's design just. makes me feel so uncomfortable.

anyways you get to do a little driving around with the boys, until you stay the night before catching the boat to your fiance. overnight, you find out that noctis' kingdom has been basically destroyed by an invading empire called niflheim, and practically everyone noctis knows, including his father, are dead. you learn that noctis and his bride to be are also assumed dead, with noctis hearing his own death announcement on the radio. the game has a bunch of added cutscenes that are actually footage from the three-hour-long prequel movie that came out after the game, are extremely hard to follow and honestly i had no idea what i was looking at. anyways, noctis' family is dead, so it's time to do some hunting sidequests.

that brings us to the combat, i suppose. rather than the turn-based or even active turn-based combat that the series is known for, xv opts for more modern action rpg-styled combat. i was, naturally, terrible at this, but i managed to get around it with the fact that. it is almost impossible to die in this video game, provided you have enough items. the game allows you so much time to heal yourself that there's practically no way to have your entire party wipe unless you're doing absolutely terrible, and even then, your party members will probably try and heal you themselves before that happens. lizz tells me that the combat is boring, you just push the same button over and over and then you win. i do appreciate that, for someone like me who is terrible at reading enemy movements, there is a giant button that pops up on screen that tells you when to push the block button, but even then i was prone to fucking it up. whether that's the bad game design or my terrible gaming abilities is up to you to decide. anyways, the game is fairly easy but has annoying combat, your teammates limit breaks will only land about 50% of the time (or never, if you are gladio) and i was still bad at it, so i didn't have all that much fun.

instead of an active levelling system, the game will only tally your character's level ups when you either make camp or visit a hotel. camping is, in my opinion, the only saving grace of this game. each time you make camp, you get to see the characters doing fun little camping activities together and just hanging out, ignis will cook up a new meal in a dramatic fashion and everyone will compliment him and eat it off their coleman's branded plates, it's just very fun. you also get to see what pictures prompto has taken, which is one of my favourite gameplay features. prompto's passion is photography, and while i support him in this wholeheartedly, his picture taking skills are, quite frankly, awful. the game will randomly take shots while you're on the move, which leaves you with a delightful selection of awkward poses, characters hidden behind bushes, pictures taken while someone is half-dead in combat, and snaps where the natural lighting absolutely makes it impossible to tell what's going on. it's hilarious and going through prompto's collection of photos each night is honestly the best part of the game. we managed to wind up with a few shots that, even despite being scripted events, turned out absolutely terrible, and i will cherish those forever.

anyways, since noctis' father and fiance are dead, that leaves him the king of lucis. the only important person to make it out of the capital alive tells you to drive to the middle of nowhere, where he randomly springs on you. hey. go into a bunch of these dungeons and absorb a bunch of swords, this is your destiny as king and how you will defeat the empire. noctis goes, uh, alright i guess, and you're set loose again to wander around for a bit collecting the 'royal arms'. this plot point wasn't explained well but hey, whatever, we're collecting the glowy swords and that's fine.

you're introduced at some point to ardyn, the main antagonist. he's old, kind of groady and wears a fedora. he's a dick to you and talks about his automobeeel. apparently my friend miri thinks he's hot, she is wrong.

i can't remember what happens specifically but you're told that your fiance is still alive and in fantasy venice, and she's talking to the gods on your behalf to borrow their powers. there's a mission where you follow some purple trees that are electric, and you do that i guess. i enjoyed riding the chocobos around, but couldn't care much for the plot at this point. ardyn leads you to a volcano, where you fight a giant lava god. he tries to step on you and i, a denizen of the internet and with an active fear of foot fetishists, was extremely uncomfortable. noctis becomes friends with foot man and a lightning god who lived in those trees, and ardyn steals your car.

very upset by this, noctis and his gang risk everything to sneak into a military base and steal it back. because this is a video game, this works out fine.

there's a little mining city which is all about Girl Power, because all the Women run the Mining Industry like Girl Bosses, and you hang around there for a bit. because all the women are so Empowered, they wear bikinis all the time with overalls over the top. gladio decides he needs to fuck off for a bit, i have no idea what he does since i haven't played the dlc, and then he comes back with another scar. you hang out with his sixteen year old sister, who has a crush on the engaged and 20-year old noctis, and then you drive her to a lighthouse. when she's in your party, she can't really fight, but she gets a pink chocobo and i thought that was very cute. we turned out own chocobo white and lizz named him 'jones' after a mount she has in ffxiv.

eventually, you have a long boat ride over to fantasy venice. this is the part where the game stops being 'fun with a few issues in combat and a rushed and poorly told story.' the open world, which was a main feature with a bunch of little areas to find where noctis can fish, little hunting sidequests and random photo spots where prompto takes touristy photos, is now gone, and it will not return for the entire rest of the game. you can 'go back in time', but the open world was the most enjoyable part of the game, and it kind of really sucks that the main story doesn't let you have any more freedom like that.

after arriving in fantasy venice, you have a talk with fantasy hillary clinton and beg her to let your girlfriend summon a god into the middle of her city. hillary agrees, and you don't get to meet up with your fiance, because even if the game is constantly telling you how much noctis loves her, there is. barely any interactions between the two in the entire game. from what i can tell, they met when noctis was a child and they haven't seen each other in ten years but are still fantasy dog pen-pals. noctis marrying her was supposed to make an alliance or something like that, but her brother has betrayed her to the army. noctis' girlfriend is also an oracle, which means she can heal people, i guess? everyone talks about how important she is and she's constantly telling people that she needs to use her powers to help noctis but she's practically a non-entity.

as can be expected of most female love interests in a game primarily focused on men, noctis' fiance is killed while summoning a god for noctis to befriend. noct gets very mad about this, and turns super saiyan and kills the god back, but his girlfriend is dead and that's super sad you guys. there's a beautiful prerendered cutscene where she says goodbye to noctis but since we barely know her, and we've only been told over and over that they're in love without anything to actually well, show this, it didn't have much of an impact. fantasy venice is destroyed, and ignis is blinded while trying to help calm the giant raging god.

iggy's blindness and how the game makes you account for this and grow to care for him was one of the highlights, in my opinion, as well as crushingly depressing. while i'm not disabled and have no right to say if this was 'good disabled representation' or anything like that, i believe that the game handles it decently enough. the group falls apart as noctis is upset about his girlfriend, gladio is extremely mad that noctis won't care for ignis, and prompto just wants everyone to get along. there's a mission where gladio constantly yells at you passive aggressive things to noctis about how he's a cunt for running, which is obnoxious, but the character arc itself is fairly strong. when you make camp, ignis can't cook anymore, so everyone eats cup noodles in a depressing ass cutscene. ignis remains in your party for the rest of the game despite his disability, and he doesn't magically regain his sight like other fantasy media would do, which at the very least i think is good. i'm not sure what the opinion of actual disabled people is of the character, considering how often disabled characters are either turned into misery porn to make the abled audience be glad that isn't them and if ignis' arc falls into this trap, but i hope that it wasn't handled too poorly, as that would just be another terrible mark in this game's list of bad moves.

the characters eventually make it to the evil empire's capital, which is abandoned and filled with daemons. the characters learn that ardyn is super evil and taught the king of the empire how to turn humans into daemons, which has now happened to the entire city. the 'magitek suits', presumed to be enchanted armour that fights as the empire's infantry, actually house the souls of the human-turned daemons. honestly i like this as a plot point but the game handles it pretty terribly. there could have been more lead up to this, the explanation is pretty lacking, and prompto's Big Plot Twist is. terribly handled. turns out that prompto was born in the empire and was going to be one of those empty soldier daemons, but he was rescued by people belonging to noctis' empire. not that the game tells you that. instead, prompto goes 'turns out i'm one of ... them' and Does Not Elaborate. The game doesn't tell you shit, not about prompto's past, not about how he feels about this, not about how anyone else feels about this either because the other party members just go 'oh that sucks, good thing you're not evil' and the scene ends. robbie daymond tries so hard to sell these terrible, terrible lines, and it almost entirely fails, i'm so sorry prompto. fortunately because i'm a nosy ass, i read prompto's wikia page and knew the plot twist ahead of time, because i don't think i would have even registered it if i didn't.

anyways everyone in the evil empire is dead and ardyn starts talking about how he's immortal and an ancient king of noctis' country but the gods thought he sucked because he's too evil. i missed most of this because the cats got the zoomies and were dashing across the couch right in the middle of his speech so i can't tell you anything else. noctis tries to get a big magic crystal to fight him and instead. gets schlorped inside.

TEN YEARS LATER

yes then ten years actually pass while noctis is asleep. the game shows this by switching the head on noctis' character model to have a beard, but that's it, no changes in animations or whatever. the sky is permanently night and only one human civilisation remains, the rest destroyed by daemons. as a plot point, this ends up feeling. extremely worthless. why was noctis asleep for ten whole goddamn years? so we can wake up and go 'damn it sucks out here'. but it's barely even a like, incentive to fix everything, because you have a long talk with a former child you were friends with where he talks about how humanity is still going fine and everyone's okay and the world has moved on without you. it feels. pointless. when you meet up with your party members, they are exactly as you left them, only with slightly different character models. there is no change in the voice performance, the character's movements or how they talk to show that they've been without you for ten years. they barely mention it. i'm just. so confused as to why they decided that a ten year timeskip was the way to go? since nothing really changes, couldn't you have made it like, two years? one year? six months?? have the characters react a little more? something??? at least if it was only a year or so i wouldn't have to deal with the fact that noctis looks like norman reedus with his shitty facial hair now.

anyways after that there's a bunch of long and boring boss fights. you fight some dead kings for some reason, your party members get a little bit to talk about how cool they are and how much they love noctis, and then you meet up with ardyn. there's another boring boss fight and god this was only a few hours ago but it's already gone from my head. you summon the gods and the old kings to beat the shit out of him after you both go super saiyan again? there's incredible music but it feels barely earned and just kind of eh. anyways, noctis dies, which was the price of using the crystal of light or whatever the fuck. his ghost marries his fiance's ghost finally, and they smile as they look at one of prompto's pictures. you can pick any picture you want to go here, and then the credits roll, showing all of the pictures you saved of prompto's shots. showing me all the pictures at the end is honestly lovely, but it really only served to remind me of how much more fun the game was in the first half. and that's the end, of final fantasy xv.

so what did i think of the story? it's terribly cobbled together and struggles to get you to feel anything and play out all the plot beats. you feel awful for the countless employees who spent years working on the beautiful cutscenes only to have them be in this game, which sucks and the story barely gets through. there were parts that i enjoyed, mostly the thing about the daemons being people, but honestly the rest of it is a mess. it's hard to follow at the best of times and just awkward and terribly written at the worst. the ending is cheap, and it doesn't feel like you've actually accomplished anything. i left that game feeling numb and empty, sad that i'd wasted so much time to end up with such a colossal failure of a conclusion.

i had fun with the game when it was my four little guys running around doing sidequests and camping together. after the midway point of the game, there's none of that, and you're bogged down into a plot that just pushes you from point a to point b and boring overlong bossfight to boring overlong bossfight. the character moments between your party are a lot of fun, but the second you hit fantasy venice, everything is pretty much on rails and you can't do anything except what the game tells you explicitly to do.

should you play this game? no lol. if anything i've mentioned about the story interests you, you'll be better off watching a lore video or reading the wiki. if you do want to play it after all that, just don't proceed after the myrthril refining quest, it's pretty much all downhill from there. will i play the dlc? unlikely, i think lizz and i will just watch a cutscene movie of those.

this game left me feeling empty and numb and not in a fun way. i wanted, so, so hard to like this game, and it all crashed around me in a beautifully overproduced and confusingly written cascade. i love you prompto, but even your cute little freckly face and terrible photography can't save this trainwreck of a game.

tl;dr - final fantasy xv sucks. i hope that 13, our next ff game, will be better.

[punchdrunkdoc]

Updated K-drama list (4)

This list is getting looooong,  because I’m well and truly addicted to these shows and can’t stop watching them. 

I think its because each show is so self-contained - one series, 16-20 episodes and its done. A clear beginning, middle and a satisfying end. That, together with all the tropes in play (SO MANY TROPES!!) makes each show feel like a novel come to life. And when I start a good novel, I have to finish it in one go. This usually results in me staying up till 2am because I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS. And it’s the same with these shows. I’m getting very little sleep, but I’m having a hell of a good time!

FAVOURITES

1. Crash Landing on You

He’s from North Korea. She’s from South Korea. They never should have met, but they’ll change each other’s lives.

This was my first K-drama, and its still my favourite. The full cast of characters is great, the lead romance is ANGSTALICIOUS and its genuinely, laugh out loud funny (when its not making you cry or swoon).

Male lead: Officially the best boyfriend ever. With added dimples.

Tear-jerk factor: 4/5

2. Healer

The lives, and pasts, of a hot shot reporter, a spunky young tabloid journalist and a mysterious thief-for-hire intersect.

This was so addictive - the plot was tight and engaging, and this is one of the few shows I’ve watched where there didn’t seem to be a lot of filler. I loved the central 3 characters, and the romance was amazing. I especially loved that the male lead started off such a brooding loner, but he became super-affectionate as soon as he admitted his feelings. So many good hugs and lots of face-cradling in this one.

Male lead: Effortlessly beats up 2 henchmen while comforting his girl over the phone. What more do you need?

Tear-jerk factor: 1/5

3. Itaewon Class

A young man’s life is forever altered when he runs afoul of a powerful family.

This felt like a big step up in quality from everything else in this list, in terms of the production, soundtrack (which was brilliant), the lack of annoying sound effects, and just the overall ‘real world’ feel of the show. All of the characters were fleshed out and 3-dimensional, and they all had their ‘moment’ to shine. The story itself was gripping and so well done - some of the twists and reveals had me gasping! And what can I say about the 2 leads? I love them, both separately, and together. He is so wise beyond his years, and his journey will break your heart and inspire you. She is borderline sociopathic, but I adore her.

Male lead: Tenacious, principled, kind, innocent, caring, driven, loyal…and he can cook!

Tear-jerk factor: 2/5

4. Descendants of the Sun

A special forces Captain meets a capable and beautiful trauma surgeon. They feel an instant bond, but their jobs and philosophy on life get in the way, threatening to tear them apart.

Halfway through this show, I seriously thought this might overtake CLOY as my No. 1 fav. I absolutely LOVE the male lead character, and the romance was beautiful…but it didn’t quite nail the angst and the last minute was a bit twee which dropped it down the rankings a bit.

Male lead: A cocky, charming, absolute BADASS with the most adorable, cheeky smile.

Tear-jerk factor: 2/5

5. Love in the Moonlight / Moonlight Drawn by Clouds

A young woman poses as a eunuch in the Royal Palace and falls in love with the Crown Prince

I wanted to try something different so I opted for this period piece and OH MY GOD am I glad I did. The start had a really light comedic tone (and a lot of modern anachronisms - high fives everywhere!) and I loved all the identity-concealing hi-jinks. But then the romance kicked into gear and the DELICIOUS angst started flowing, and I became obsessed with it. It's like loads of bits of my favourite regency historical romances were mashed up and transported to the Joseon Dynasty. I loved it so much!

Male lead: Manages to look amazingly handsome despite all the period headgear, kicks ass with a sword, and doesn't allow himself to be manipulated by the corrupt officials surrounding him, which was refreshing. Also acts like an adorable goofball when he's in love.

Tear-jerk factor: 2/5

6. My Holo Love

A lonely woman falls for a holographic AI and then meets his creator...

I love the concept of this show (I’m a big sci-fi nerd), and it was beautifully shot. The lead relationship is well developed and it doesnt fall into a typical love triangle. I’ve come to realise it utilises a lot of K-drama tropes (face-blindness! shared childhood trauma!), but it does it really well, imho.

Male lead: Tortured loner genius. My catnip.

Tear-jerk factor: 2/5

7. Goblin

A 900yr old immortal guardian finally meets the ‘bride’ who will end his existence

Once I got over the slight ick-factor of the age difference between the two characters at the beginning, I really fell for this show and it’s world. It had me in tears. And I especially loved the secondary character of the Grim Reaper.

Male lead: Surprising innocent and funny for a 900 year old

Tear-Jerk factor: 5/5

8. What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim

An personal assistant decides to quits her job in order to get a life. Her boss has other ideas.

I loved the female lead in this - I’m a sucker for uber-competent people, and the actress is STUNNING. Her boss is self-centred, entitled and vain...but over time, somehow that just becomes endearing! Possibly because he’s played by Park Seo Joon, who can do no wrong in my book! The central romance is super cute - I can rewatch their scenes again and again. 

Male lead: Like I said, somehow makes vanity and narcissism endearing. Also not afraid to get his shirt off and flash his 6-pack. Bonus.

Tear-Jerk factor: 0/5

9. Legend of the Blue Sea

A mermaid comes onto land to find the man she loves

The (literal) fish-out-of-water scenes in the first half of this show were hilarious - the actress is a comic genius! The romance was nicely done, and there wasn’t a lot of extraneous plot or too many characters. I couldn’t stop watching this one!

Male lead: Cocky, arrogant conman with a soft mushy centre

Tear-Jerk factor: 1/5

10. Fight for my Way

Two life-long friends decide to go after their dreams

I fast-forwarded large chunks of this (I wasn’t interested in the secondary couple at all), but it still made my favourite list because I love the leads - both as separate characters and as a couple. This is one of the best friends-to-lovers stories I’ve seen, mainly because you truly buy that these 2 have known each other their entire lives (their  bickering and teasing feels so natural). And then when they take the next step, they’re so affectionate and refreshingly open with their feelings.

Male lead: The third Park Seo Joon character on this list! I love his contradictions. He’s goofy and childish…but can really turn on the sexy charm; he’s a badass MMA fighter…who loves when his girlfriend sticks up for him and protects him.

Tear-jerk factor: 0.5/5

11. Suspicious Partner

A young, hardworking lawyer has her life turned upside down when she is put on trial for murder.

This has been officially bumped up to my favourites list - partly because I’m now a massive Ji Chang Wook fan, and partly because I’ve rewatched scenes with better subtitles and its made it 10x better. Its still overly long, but the serial killer plot had some nice twists and it was central to the story, so it didn’t feel extraneous like some of these types of plots do. I really enjoyed the central romance - the 2 characters sparked off each other well and I loved their evolution from sort-of enemies to lovers. This is another show where I can endlessly rewatch their scenes together.

Male lead: Its Ji Chang Wook! He’s so good at playing serious guys who are secretly big dorks.

Tear Jerk factor: 0.5/5

NOTABLE MENTIONS

These are shows which I completed and really enjoyed but they had flaws which kept them out of the favourites list.

1. The K2

An ex-mercenary takes a job as a bodyguard protecting the illegitimate daughter of a politician. A sort-of Snow White retelling.

This started off really well, with some amazing fight sequences (hello, shower room scene!). However, the back half became too bogged down in double crosses and manipulations, and it focussed too much on the politicians. The writers did well to give these characters some layers, but they were all essentially doing bad things for the wrong reasons, and I just didn’t care about them. The show was much better when it was following K2’s journey. The romance also started off well, but was a bit underdeveloped (mainly because they barely interacted).

2. I Am Not a Robot

A man who is allergic to human contact finds companionship with a robot…or does he?

I honestly thought I wouldn’t make it passed a couple of episodes of this - the concept was just too ridiculous. But I’m glad I persevered, because it developed some real depth and some proper good angst towards the end and I LOVED the central relationship.

3. Extraordinary You

A high school student discovers she's a supporting character in a comic book

The plot of this was so unique, and the way the comic story played out interspersed with the characters 'real lives' was really well done. Plus the central couple were so adorable. It dragged in the middle section (several versions of the same conversations were had, and the same exposition was spelled out multiple ways for no apparent reason) which kept it out of my favourite list, but it redeemed itself with some good angst at the end, and it had a really lovely ‘epilogue'.

4. My Love from the Star

Alien stranded on earth meets an actress soon before he’s due to be rescued.

I finally gave this another chance, and I’m glad I did. The female lead got a LOT less irritating, and I enjoyed the present-day romance and all the flashes back to the past. However, the ending was really abrupt and disappointing (which kept it out of my favourite list). There should have been 1 less filler episode in the middle, and a decent, fleshed out finale instead.

5. Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo

A young talented weightlifter experiences first love

Honestly, I wasn’t sold on this at first; the female lead was a bit much (lot of gurning and over-acting) and there was a weird disconnect between how she was described (big, overweight, manly, unfeminine) and how she actually looked (thin and beautiful!). But the back half of this show saved it; her relationship with Joon-Hyung was sooooo cute. He is adorable, and they were both so supportive of each other’s dreams. I finished this with a big smile on my face.

6. Because this is my First Life

A rational-to-a-fault software designer and an aspiring screenwriter come up with an unconventional way to solve their housing problem

When I started this, I thought it was going to be all light and fluffy (the main character's job in the beginning was to insert the product placement in Korean dramas - hello, Red Ginseng! - which I found hilarious and meta) but it had a surprisingly melancholic tone throughout and touched on issues of workplace harassment and gender roles. I didn't warm to the male lead until right at the end (which was probably partly intentional - he's very remote and closed off) but overall I found the story quite lovely. Plus it had a really great central female friendship and their conversations actually passed the Bechdel test!

7. Strong Girl Bong-Soon

A woman with inherited super-strength gets a job as a bodyguard for an eccentric young CEO

The lead couple in this are AD-OR-ABLE and I loved their relationship. But there was a weird tone issue in this show. The romance is super cute...but there’s a whole dark sub plot involving multiple women being held captive by a psychopath. I ended up fast forwarding most of that, and just concentrated on the romance.

THE OTHERS...

I finished these shows and liked parts of them, but they ultimately didn’t set my world on fire.

1. Her Private Life

A talented art curator tries to keep her professional persona separate from her fangirl obsession with a pop idol.

This was cute and I loved the central relationship - he was so supportive of her, and their interactions were refreshingly mature and their banter felt really natural. Ultimately, it was a bit forgettable (I’m not dying to rewatch any of it), and the last minute tacked-on childhood trauma subplot was really unnecessary.

2. Touch Your Heart

Star actress rocked by scandal works at a law firm to prepare for her comeback role

This starred the secondary couple from Goblin and I really like them, even though they are playing very different characters in this (more opposites attract, than doomed lovers). At first I found this too ‘cutesy’, but I’ve since realised the sound effects/graphics are a K-drama thing and not unique to this show, so I’m not as down on it as I was. I still had to fast forward a lot of the secondary romances which I wasn’t invested in.

3. Hyde, Jekyll and Me

A woman becomes involved in the lives of 2 men, who share one body

This stars Hyun Bin from CLOY and he is sooo watchable, especially as the slick-haired, glasses-wearing, uptight Seo-Jin. And the show started well...but quickly went off the rails into a convoluted, dragged-out revenge plot.

4. Melting Me Softly

Two people are accidentally cryogenically frozen for 20 years. They have to navigate the modern world and their new lives together.

Another good concept, but it ultimately descended into little more than a light work-place romance. Had a couple of good kissing scenes, but it was overall a bit forgettable.

And the DNF:

My Secret Romance

I started watching this because I was looking for something a little less PG - the characters have a one night stand in the first episode! But I couldn’t get passed the bad acting and cheap production.

Master’s Sun

I liked the premise but the 2 leads weren’t very attractive (at least in comparison to the insanely beautiful actors/actresses in the shows listed above). Call me superficial, but I couldn’t see myself spending 17 hours watching them and willing them to kiss.

[cryptocism]

I think your perception of canon vs fanon Tim is really interesting, and I think your right about a lot of things, but one of the things I've always loved most about Tim was his character arc, especially through his ongoing (and into RR). Like, I think your spot-on that Tim-as-Robin's strengths were his thoughtfulness and empathy and observant nature, but I think one aspect of his character was his gradual degradation into someone a lot colder and more calculating (1/2)

(2/3, oops) and I don't think that just comes from fanon characterization. Like here we have a character who is so monumentally compassionate and loving, and whose loved ones pretty much all die, so I don't think the transition in personality comes (just) from fandom, but also writers responding to this sort of trauma for the character. And Tim, in-universe, I think decides that the best way to keep the people around him safe is by sacrificing some of that kindness and becoming a little darker(3/4) in order to save his loved ones (e.g Bruce, Tam, Steph). And I do think that that change in character also pivots the catalyst for its drama. Like where before he was just a normal kid who stepped up because he felt he needed to, parents in tact, regular life, etc, later Tim is full-on traumatized vigilante. So where the drama before was found in Tim negotiating being a normal teen with being Robin, it became a negotiation between his good nature and the darkness he felt he needed to (4/4) embody. Or even the darker person he felt himself becoming. I think one of my favorite Tim moments is in RR where he's beaten Ra's for the first time doing his tortured genius hacker thing, but Ra's attacks, and Tim realizes that he can only beat him by trusting his friends and family, rather than any of the cold brilliance he's developed. And he reads that Ra's is thinking of him as just another broody Bruce, and Tim tells him "I'm not Batman, I have friends," and wins with their help.

You’re right! And I actually love that aspect of his character arc too. I think Tim’s inner conflict with the more cold/calculating part of himself is also pretty central to his character, it obviously got a lot more focus in the RR series, but even before everyone Tim knew died he struggled with his ‘inner darkness’. Like when the Titans get sent to the future and Tim finds out he grew up to be his own worst nightmare, or any of the tons of conversations he has where he clarifies that Being Like Batman is 100% what he’s trying to avoid.

I probably should’ve clarified, my issue isn’t with the “tortured” part of the tortured genius trope, (emotional conflict is great and something the entire batfam has oodles of) it’s more the “genius” bit.

tim is smart! obviously, he’s smart. but pushing that aspect of his character until he’s a child-prodigy-genius boy who can hack anything if you give him a laptop and a stick of gum gets sort of... i can’t think of the word rn, um. Like he basically stops being a believably real person? For me, anyway.

like i said my favourite tim is Regular Kid Trying His Best. that doesn’t mean he can’t go through dark shit or be a darker character, just that his goals and motivations and problem solving ideas come from creative places that I as a reader can trace the logic of.

the example you brought up is actually really good for this! tim is able to subvert ra’s (and the reader’s) expectations, because tim is an empathetic person who has a knack for reading people, and he knew ra’s (and the reader) was under the impression that tim was fully entrenched in being a solo act, not trusting anyone, being Like Batman. and then theres the banger ass line “im not batman i have friends” like WHAT??? HELL YEAH! WHAT!

and that’s the kind of shit any person could do, if they were observant and careful and just this side of thrill-seeking. it’s unexpected but it still Makes Sense.

when tim is able to solve all his problems with the push of a button or a late night and a computer, he’s just not a believable character anymore, he’s a plot device to get the mystery from point A to point B.

so yeah its more the fact that pushing his whole ‘genius’ thing ends up flattening his character for me. so when he’s valedictorian or proclaimed the ‘computer guy’ or whatever it rings a little hollow.

also i am a little bit tired of the ‘sleep deprived coffee addict’ thing, for similar reasons in that it renders him one-dimensional.

[fuse2dx]

November ‘20

Cross Code

Cross Code is a game that is trying so very, very hard. The story is based around your character being an avatar within an MMORPG, and its this kind of game-within-a-game setup that is used as a cheeky way to skirt the fourth wall and have its characters make snide remarks at certain design decisions, while also going full steam ahead with them regardless of the fact. Don’t think we didn’t notice, dev team! It plays out as a 2D top-down action RPG, but clearly has aspirations that extend far beyond this framework. Each of its environments is thoroughly layered with subtle verticality, with parkour-esque platforming having you constantly working backwards from your intended destination, and requiring meticulous attention to detail in order to find where it is you’re able to begin your elaborate series of jumps from. There’s a huge array of materials to gather and channel through traders and to craft into gear, and the combat they benefit is both precise and complex, requiring plenty of on-the-fly thinking as well as tight execution. As well as these set-piece battles, the game’s dungeons are full of puzzles that though smart in construction, are tough enough in isolation, and frankly brutal in their relentless frequency. One particularly ill-advised chapter has a series of three such dungeons in quick succession, and perfectly illustrates that just because you can, does not mean that you should. 

On a more positive note, one thing the game does have in spades is charm. The sprite work is admirable; even though characters are a touch on the tiny side to be too effective on their own, their portraits and dialogue provide a solid emotive connection to them and the story that builds up around them. In all, it is a game that can be a lot of fun, and plenty rewarding - but the entire thing is overly long and far too regularly punishing. It’s tapped into a number of 16-bit action-RPG ideas well, but has perhaps unintentionally also managed to become the most masochistic presentation of these ideas to date.

Crimzon Clover: World Explosion

A game I’ve technically owned for years now, however the lack of a Windows PC has held me back from playing it - with this debut on the Switch finally granting me the opportunity though to get hands on. Although I’d gleaned plenty from watching super players decimate it before now, even my feeble credit feeding through the game’s five stages has given me plenty of additional appreciation for just how good it is. 

It looks brilliant, with chunky, detailed enemies animated beautifully as they move about the screen. The music pounds along to an energetic beat, and the game keeps a solid pace all while plenty of bullets swarm around you in creative and considered patterns. Turning the tides with Break Mode is an incredibly satisfying way to take control of hairier moments, and while I can’t speak for every intricacy of its scoring system, I know that it’s developed by a team that demonstrably understands the value of these. What I can more reliably add to that discussion is that you’re unlikely to find yourself reliant on any one hook to find your fun though; even the most pedestrian appreciator of the genre should find plenty to enjoy. Thoroughly deserving of its regular appearance alongside the biggest names in the genre.

Holovista

There’s often a reasonable amount of scepticism that comes from some folks when you talk of gaming on a mobile phone. Flipping the conversation though, and instead to talk of one of my favourite advantages of the format, it’s great that a developer can lean on the familiarity and the personal connection that you have to the device you’re playing on. As a device that lives by your side 24/7 and increasingly encroaches further into every aspect of your being, Holovista leverages this connection amazingly, spinning its story in a series of interfaces that mimic how your phone acts when you use it yourself. Taking pictures and interacting with people in particular are key interfaces, and that are done in a way that neatly puts you right into the shoes of their character. 

It begins with said character taking an interview for a new job that is hoped to herald a new tide of good fortune, and promptly introduces the circle of friends that are there to help with this and that celebrate alongside. As you learn more about the job, things slowly begin to get a bit weird, and then take a turn that is something akin to Black Mirror meets nightmarish introspection. Though not overtly unpleasant, there are some memorably unsettling moments along the way. Sensibly, it does have content warnings that offer some sound advice for those it might not sit so well with, but self-care does end up being a central takeaway from the game as a whole as well as for its cast. On the back of circumstances we’ll generically chalk up to this year’s being what it is, this ended up feeling like a lovely little palate cleanser -  a considered refresh, thoroughly original, and a very worthy afternoon’s entertainment. 

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening

One thing that’s always been great about Link’s Awakening came as a result of the technical limitations imposed by the Gameboy - that the Zelda format needed all the fat trimmed, while the mixture of puzzles and action were to be distilled down into their most potent and compact form. Even with the (entirely optional) extras they’ve slipped in with this remake, this still shines through in its design now, where it couldn’t be any further removed from the risks of overly long, dragged out pacing. A small overworld it may be, but it’s full of variety, secrets, and memorable moments. Dungeons are similarly economical with its good ideas - giving you new tools, laying out smart ways to break you into their use, and then letting you get on with things. 

While the remastered music is also utterly charming, the real upsell here is the total visual do-over; its tilt-shifted cartoon aesthetic pushing each and every scene to look like a shiny, hyper-cute diorama. For all of the different visual styles that the series has dabbled with in the past, this one definitely feels like the right match for the light-hearted whimsy that comes through from the story and the characters. That’s not to say that it’s flawless either - the blurring at the screen’s edges can be overly intense at times, and the overall presentation does cause the performance to stutter and feel a little sluggish at times. I point at these things only given the bar is raised so - something unavoidable when you already know a game is a stone-cold classic from the off. 

Astro’s Playroom

Coming pre-installed on your shiny new (and hopefully not scalped) Playstation 5 console, Playroom begins as a humble introduction to the capabilities of the Dual Sense controller. Touch control, haptic feedback, adaptive triggers and the like are introduced and may well generate some cooing and low-key positivity, however this enthusiasm is elevated by a mighty factor when the game truly begins and everything is put so deftly into practice.

It’s not a complex or particularly challenging title as far as 3D platformers go, with frequent checkpoints and no life counter in sight. Any mould-breaking to be done comes instead from the diversity in how you control various sideshows, with the entire kitchen sink’s worth of interface options being showcased as you climb into a monkey suit, blast off a rocket ship, bounce around as a pinball, and so on. All of these demonstrate ingenuity that could’ve easily gone awry, yet are quickly understood, and grounded in a level of both tactile and in-game feedback that maintains a natural feeling. The game’s worlds serve as virtual tours through colourful, fantasy depictions of hardware components that demonstrates an excellent level of both pride and playfulness, with fellow bots littering both the through-fare and the unbeaten paths, dressed up and enacting smart homage to generations of games and their characters, all while Playstation-themed collectables are doled out in tandem alongside smart, well-natured puns. It arguably borders on propaganda at times, such is the intense positivity. That said, the more extensive your tenure is with Sony’s platforms, the more likely it’ll dull your better judgement to this, instead letting slip a grin at what is essentially the grandest love letter to all things Playstation, and the warmest, most celebratory pack-in for a new console Sony could have ever hoped for. 

The showcasing of new features and hardware aside, it’s also a subtle and unofficial coronation of Astrobot as Sony’s newest (and best) mascot. There’s been plenty of candidates in the past who’ve half-heartedly assumed to own the position, but it’s the silent, cheerful charm which makes Astro that much more of an endearing figurehead. G'wan the little guy.

No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle

For someone that loves Suda51 and adored No More Heroes, my reaction to No More Heroes 2 on its original release was comparatively tepid. With a third game due next year, this re-release felt like the right time to revisit it and see it through, and although I found some things to enjoy, I certainly found plenty to remind me why I had bounced off it previously.

Roaming about in Santa Destroy between missions is gone, instead replaced with a short check list of destinations. While not a fan of the change myself, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing - though it does give a misleading impression of tightened focus that is very quickly lost as it lays out a spread of half-baked, and frankly clumsy mini-games. As well as being your prime source for money and upgrades, these do a lot to artificially increase the length of the game, and put simply, they’re just not fun enough to warrant this level of prominence. Even the main story has frequent moments where it veers away from the core 3D hack and slash gameplay, and again, these do more harm than good to the game’s flow.

The fighting underpinning it all has undoubtably been done better since by any number of titles, and though imperfect, it is still serviceable and enjoyable for the most part. Boss battles definitely hold the lion’s share of the game’s highlights, but there’s a few that also stick out with some poorly executed designs that tars its lasting impression. Shades do remain of the ridiculous, irreverent charm of the first game, although they are certainly more infrequent, and a more modern lens also brings into question just how sincerely we should take the sending up of Travis, when cast upon a backdrop of frequent fanservice. Not the best sequel then, but let’s hope 3 gets things back on track.  

[lordgoopy]

“The Saturday Interview: I Am In Eskew Podcast” —Recovered

The podcast is called I Am In Eskew; it’s a horror / weird fiction show delivered as a series of dispatches from a vaguely Central European city.

Eskew is a place that is, both spatially and psychologically, off-kilter. The streets wind too far in on themselves, the stairs climb too high, and both buildings and inhabitants can act in peculiar, obsessive, or frightening ways. And every episode we follow the narrator, David Ward, a kind of semi-unwilling immigrant to the city, as he finds himself stumbling into new aspects of Eskew. As for me, I’m a writer in London, working in digital media for the charity sector; I’m writing and narrating Eskew sort-of-anonymously. Not for any kind of grand scandalous reason, but because I think it adds to the fun and helps to keep the conceit alive a little bit.

Ah...that explains why I couldn’t find your name when I was researching for this interview. I thought my skills were slipping! I think it’s very interesting that Eskew focuses on horror based around spaces and buildings. Is this something of particular interest to you?

Yes, definitely! I think there’s a rich ream of horror, from The Haunting of Hill House to Ghostwatch, that delves into the idea that certain places can simply go wrong - and once these bad environments have been established and ostracised by society, they can’t be exorcised. They simply keep accruing power through the individual stories that play tragically out in their shadow.

I mention a real-life example of that kind of bad architecture in one episode; the Pope Lick Bridge in Kentucky, a place that looks and feels so sinister that it developed its own local folklore about a goat-man who attacks people who stray too close to the edge - and which has ended up resulting in deaths as visitors peer over the side trying to get a peek at the monster.

I find this kind of stuff fascinating, because it plays into my own paranoia about environments, and my dislike of ghost stories with explicably human antagonists. Like David says in the first episode, people aren’t frightening. Places are frightening.

If I’m sitting alone at home on a dark and stormy night, and I glance nervously up towards the bedroom doorway, my fear is not that my house is being haunted by a spirit called Mabel who died in the 19th century at the age of fourteen and is constantly seeking her favourite teddy bear...because all of these details both humanise her and make her ridiculous.

My fear is that there will be something standing in the doorway, because the doorway is where things come to stand.

Because unoccupied spaces, in our imaginations, must find something to fill them.

Could you describe some of your creative influences?

Thomas Ligotti is probably the writer I’m trying to crib from the most. Not so much in terms of his pessimism (or his love of puppets as a horror motif, which I can’t really get behind), but I see him very much as someone who bridges the gap between American horror and European absurdism. Some of my favourite stories of his - The Town Manager, Our Temporary Supervisor, The Red Factory - are hilarious as comedies! They’re very much scathing satires on our inadequate human response to the inexplicable and awful.

Junji Ito is also a big influence, in particular, his masterpiece Uzumaki: a collection of short stories about a town that’s driven mad by the symbol of a spiral. The brilliance is in the inventiveness with which he builds an anthology of horrors, with variety and with mounting awfulness, while playing on that simple motif.

I see Ito’s work as very much in the spirit of some of the most classic horror of all; Ovid’s Metamorphoses, where the threat comes not from an external monster, but from our own bodies and minds, transforming at the whim of cruel, fickle and obsessive gods...which feeds into a lot of what I’m trying to do with Eskew!

I usually try and avoid thinking about Lovecraft as an influence, even though David is clearly an obsessive, neurotic first-person narrator in the Lovecraft/Poe mould. I think there’s a lot of baggage around what constitutes ‘Lovecraftian’ fiction, and I didn’t want to set up false expectations by referencing him (like the idea that there might be some monstrous cosmic intelligence behind it all).

I really enjoy Lovecraft too, especially something like “The Shadow Over Innsmouth.” I think the idea of monsters living in the sea near the town and the strange, inexorable link the townspeople have with them makes it a lot creepier than something like “The Call of Cthulhu.”

Yeah! I think the elements in Lovecraft that have made him so franchise-friendly (these brilliant alien races and gods) have eaten away at the edges of Lovecraftian horror, bringing it closer to something that can be quite kitsch, even a kind of steampunk pastiche at times. With Eskew, I’m trying to keep to something I see in Ito, or in Ligotti, where any antagonists, whether human or otherwise, are only symptoms of something worse, something that’s simply a force of nature.

I see the city of Eskew as being a bit like a literal cancer in that sense - a highly complex structure where some of the cells (or in this case streets, art galleries, citizens...) have started to lose their original sense of self and are obsessively spiralling off in other, destructive directions...

What made you decide to do I Am In Eskew as a podcast, rather than as a graphic novel or book?

Honestly, it’s a lack of talent in the first instance, and a lack of discipline in the second!

Writing it as a podcast was my partner’s idea (she’s also the occasional voice of Riyo, an investigator looking into David’s disappearance, and she copy-edits every episode with me) - I knew I wanted to write a series of horror short stories based around the theme of urban isolation and weird architecture, but I was really struggling to get started.

She suggested that recording it as a podcast would force me to keep to a schedule, and hopefullyit might even give me some audience feedback to keep me excited about the project.

So it was a pragmatic choice, but it’s one I’ve really come to be thankful for! I think the medium is perfect for bare-bones, atmospheric horror storytelling (Knifepoint Horror is probably the best example of that ‘lonely voice whispering in your ear’ kind of fiction), and there’s an incredibly welcoming, friendly, mutually-supporting community of listeners and creators online.

Once the podcast is complete, I think I’d definitely like to look at compiling all of the episodes, editing and improving them, and turning it into a full-length written anthology. I’ve definitely made a few continuity slip-ups along the way that I’d like to correct, apart from anything else.

I’ve enjoyed Riyo’s episodes too, especially now that she’s directly looking into ‘hostile environments’. I feel like the contrast in tone and narrative style help to strengthen the series overall. Do you intend for the story of I Am In Eskew to have a specific ending in the future? If so, have you decided on the arc of the story?

I think David’s story (and Riyo’s) needs to be a finite one, definitely. In my experience, most successful protagonists in serial horror tend to be investigators, or monster-hunters. That choice of profession makes them witnesses to the story, rather than victims - effectively, they’re exempt from the psychological cost of whatever happens.

With David, I very much wanted to avoid that sense of safety; I want the horror to keep taking its toll on the character, episode after episode - which means that eventually he does need to find some kind of resolution!

Otherwise that psychological cost starts to seem fraudulent, and the whole thing turns into a predictable game of ‘David sees something horrible, then miraculously escapes at the last second’ week after week.

So I do know how the finale is going to play out; it’s really just a question of how many more stories I can reasonably invent for the show, without things starting to feel stretched, before we get there.

Mind you, it’s been established that there are recordings from Eskew that have gone missing, so it doesn’t need to end, even if it ends…

Do you have a favourite episode of I Am In Eskew so far?

I really like Episode 3: Excavation. A mysterious digging sickness takes hold in Eskew, with citizens tearing their own hands to pieces just to get into the ground - and in retaliation, a religious cult starts to form, extolling the virtues of the sky and constructing a grand tower.

It’s not necessarily the best-written episode structurally, and definitely one of the crudest in terms of recording quality, but it was the first episode where I felt I was pushing the boat out towards the kind of outrageous, absurdist horror that I really wanted to be writing, where normal human behaviour was just being given a couple of extra screw-turns towards something awful and monstrous.

It was also the first episode where I really saw a few people begin to respond on message boards, so that was really reassuring to me - when it first went out, I was petrified that I’d gone too weird to sustain anyone’s interest.

I tried to pick a favourite episode in preparation for this interview, but I honestly couldn’t narrow it down past five or six. If I really had to pick, I’d probably choose Illumination - the episode about the sinister and compulsive call of an old railway bridge. Are ideas like this based on real examples?

That example definitely is - it’s based on a railway bridge about a minute’s walk from my house! I love that kind of very modern ruin; old brick stacks stood out in the open, arches filled with ivy, graffiti in a place that seems impossible to reach...

There are a few other specific London inspirations (I based the Fish Market on Spitalfields Meat Market, for example), but with Eskew as a whole, I was thinking specifically of hillier cities in Western and Central Europe: Budapest, primarily, but also Lisbon (the trams and cobblestones), maybe a bit of Rome...

I’m used to flat English cities without any kind of panorama, so I find it a ceaselessly astonishing thing to be lost in a city’s streets and suddenly find myself up high, staring down over a sea of winding streets and rooftops...

How do you feel having wrecked people’s appreciation of AA Milne’s poem Disobedience by highlighting how deeply sinister it is?

I’ve actually been driving myself wild trying to decide if that poem is just a nonsense rhyme celebrating bossy children, or if there’s a class-snobbery thing going on (James James Morrison’s mother puts on a golden gown, and goes to the end of the town...does she get robbed there? Is the end of the town so unsafe because that’s where the low-income people live?)

You may have a point there about class. After whatever happens to her happens, the King himself gets involved with a reward. Clearly, she’s a lady with connections! Could you describe your writing process?

My writing process is very much informed by necessity - I commute in and out of London every day and don’t have a lot of free time, so I have to do most of my drafting while standing upright in a crammed train carriage!

Which may not be ideal, but on the other hand, if you’re writing a podcast about the horror of urban life, there’s no better place to find inspiration than a crowded, sweaty, angry Underground train filled with blank faces...

How long does it take you to put an episode together, from first word to the finished product?

I’m very quick; I usually sketch out the episode concept well in advance, then take about a fortnight to draft it and edit. Recording and audio-editing happens very speedily, again out of necessity, on the weekends! I try and devote a day apiece to each.

Turning to the technical side, what do you wish you’d known about creating a podcast at the very beginning?

There’s still an enormous amount that I don’t know! When it comes to even simple audio editing, I’m learning all the time. I very much am still just a schmuck in his living room, talking into a handmade sound booth on his days off - which is the beauty of podcasting, I suppose.

But I’d probably give my earlier self some very common-sense advice like...

...be brave. Stick to a schedule. Know the signs of burn-out. Listen to other people’s work in the medium before you dive in. Stay hydrated so your mouth doesn’t make those disgusting wet sounds when you’re trying to talk. Never forget that this should be fun, above anything else.

What motivates you to keep producing episodes?

Honestly? Seeing that it’s connecting with people. Spooking people. Entertaining people. That means everything.

If people would like to engage with you or support you online, what’s the best way to do that?

If you’d like to support the show...please do just shout about it! Tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes. It really makes a huge difference.

If you’d like to chat, we’re also on Twitter: https://twitter.com/eskew_podcast

[snowstories]

What are some general themes of mp100? (I'm considering watching it). Also, who would you say is your favorite character?

MP100′s themes are by and large so wholesome it’s honestly great. The central theme is the importance of kindness and interpersonal relationships; MP100 is centered around the idea that people need each other, and that we should help each other and value the help we get. A lot of the antagonists in the series are people who either reject the notion of interpersonal relationships, or did not receive help/support from people around them when they needed it, or both. The majority of the conflicts are solved not by big battles (although those certainly happen and are great), but by coming to an understanding about why the antagonist is behaving the way they are, and working to resolve those internal issues with understanding and kindness. 

By and large, I think that MP100 is very good at balancing the need for understanding/kindness with the need to hold people accountable for their actions, and it really puts its main character through the wringer at times to test his resolve to these things; although kindness/understanding are generally portrayed as the right solution, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the easy ones.

Other major themes are coming of age/growing up and the capacity for change. MP100 is, at the end of the day, a coming of age story for Mob, about him learning to accept himself and him growing up. But aside from that, it’s also in a sense a ‘coming of age’ story for pretty much all of the characters, including the adults. MP100 really emphasizes the fact that everyone has the capacity for change (hence why like 90% of its major arcs are redemption arcs), and that nobody is ever really done ‘growing’. The deutagorist of the series, Reigen, is an adult whose main function in the story is to provide an adult perspective on the theme of ‘growing up’, both in the fact that he has a lot of emotional growth to do, but also in having him contrast with the other adults in the series, who by and large do not act like proper adults and instead have a tendency to act incredibly childishly. The show emphasizes that adult responsibilities are different from children’s responsibilities, and shows the different ways in which children and adults who need to ‘grow up’ can and should be treated. 

(By and large, I think MP100 does very well at executing these themes; the only arc I really take issue with is the World Domination Arc, but that’s less because of the way it was executed and more in the way it was framed, which is the only way I can put it without going on a massive tangent. Though it should be noted that I actually skipped the Mogami Arc because I really don’t need that extra dose of depression right now.)

I’d say those are probably the two/three major themes of MP100, though it also has some other minor themes. If you decide to watch MP100, I encourage you to read the manga as well, because it’s really good and actually finished, whereas the anime thusfar has only partly adapted the story. 

My favourite character is probably Shou! I love Tsubomi, Mezato, and Reigen a lot too, but I do think I’d probably have to give Shou the top spot because I really, really relate to him. Although I do have qualms with the way ONE handled his character (@ writers it’s not a good idea to cast the victim of an abuser as a supporting character for said abuser), he’s also probably the most well-written portrayal of a child with this particular flavor of trauma I’ve come across. Without too much spoilers, Shou’s father is a shitbag. While he recognizes that what happened to him was wrong, he’s still only a child and can’t really fully comprehend the ways in which it was wrong, which results in him, for example, thinking its both his responsibility and destiny to stop his supervillain father. Although he acts mature, it’s clear that he still has a childish understanding of the world, which you can see in the way he doesn’t comprehend that children do not have a responsibility to fix the mistakes of adults, his black and white worldview, the way he projects his own problems/emotions on other people with very little evidence to do so, and his desire to, despite everything, fix his family. 

Usually, when it comes to children who’ve taken on too much responsibility/traumatized children, writers tend to either make them extremely helpless/childish in an almost denigrating way, or write them as what are essentially mini-adults; even when this doesn’t happen, there’s still often something of a lack of understanding that children can know that what’s happening to them is wrong, but still not fully comprehend it because, well, they’re children, and other unique stuff that comes with writing a traumatized child. ONE, however, is very good at writing children, and manages to strike a perfect balance of unhealthy maturity and childishness with Shou, and I really, really appreciate it. (Even if I still wish he wasn’t a supporting character for his father god DAMNIT ONE -)