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chuulyssa · 2 days ago

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──── the third of december, me in your sweater

synopsis ⸺ the winter is chilly, and you curse yourself for not thinking twice before leaving your jacket at home.

pairing ⸺ gojo, geto, toji, sukuna, nanami, megumi, yuji, yuta x reader

cw ⸺ fluff

gojo satoru

he notices you shivering immediately. his gaze drops to his own sweater, which is a bit too warm and a bit too lonely for him. so when you least expect it, he steps forward to block your way and somehow, in a way that is both dramatic and casual, he shakes it off his own shoulders and places it over yours.

“cold, huh? guess you’re in luck, baby — your favorite guy is here to save the day.”

he then steps back to admire you in his clothing, and when you open your mouth to thank him, he holds a hand up to stop you.

“don’t thank me yet. i’m charging interest — your smile counts as the payment.”

he teases you about how “lucky” you are to get a guy like him, you know, someone who is ready to sacrifice everything, that is, his sweater, for you. he leans in close just to fluster you and plants a little kiss on your cold nose.

as he walks beside you, he pretends to shiver without it as if to make you feel guilty, even though you know he isn’t cold at all. pausing his act every now and then, he steals glances at you, and his annoying smile seems to soften into something genuine every time he does so. definitely stops you at every aesthetic-looking location to take pics of you, he is your personal photographer after all, and you in his clothing just peaks his interest even more!

“woah. I thought I looked good in it, but you might’ve just one-upped me, pretty. i’m now officially upset and can only be fixed with kisses.”

geto suguru

he notices you huddling into yourself before even you realize how cold you are. he is a very observant person. the little lingering of your fingers as they dig into your arms, the subtle rubbing of your palms, he notices it all.

so wordlessly, he pulls off his sweater, shakes it out and drapes it over your shoulders carefully. he takes your hands in his and intertwines his fingers with yours. he adjusts the sleeves of the sweater with the other hand and stays close to you to warm you up. you smile at him gratefully, and he presses a kiss at your knuckles.

“you shouldn’t have to thank me. i’d rather freeze to death than see you shiver.”

he looks at you as if impressed. his lips twitch into a small, soft smile when he sees your body relax at his touch.

“you wear it better than i ever could.”

when you question him about when you should give the item back, he chuckles and shakes his head, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you even closer.

“no, don’t give it back. it suits you. and besides, it’s nice seeing you in my clothes.”

toji fushiguro

he is not the most observant person around, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. i mean, sure, you have to complain a bit about the weather and how chilly the december morning is, maybe even sniffle and cough a bit to get the problem through his thick skull, but you do succeed eventually.

“you’re too soft for this weather. here.”

he throws his sweater at your head with a grumble, watching you try to catch it and grinning at you as you try not to drop it. he crosses his arms, watching as you pathetically try to get used to the large size of his clothing. he also 100% calls you a “flailing fish”, and no, you’re never gonna live the insult down. but no matter how “dorky” he says you look in the sweater, his gaze still softens whenever he is looking at you.

he eventually rolls his eyes when he sees that you are not able to put the sweater on correctly, and leans in closer to you to tug the collar forward to fix it. then he ruffles your hair and leans back to check you out get a good look at you.

“there. problem solved. don’t get used to it though, it’s mine.”

ryomen sukuna

of course, he does notice, though he pretends not to. you know that very well. well enough, apparently, that you don’t even bother to ask him, and just straight up steal it from his big ahh closet, knowing he won’t miss it anyway. i mean, who would’ve thought the king of curses needed a sweater anyway? he roams around shirtless half the time, so you figured he won’t notice it.

but notice, he does.

“stealing my stuff now? bold of you.”

and god, ryomen sukuna, the man you are. because if he knew you were into his clothes earlier, he wouldn’t have ripped as many shirts off himself as he usually does on a daily basis. because even though you think he would be mad, he just pauses you and his eyes glide over your entire body and he leans back and crosses his arms.

“you look ridiculous,” he says after a moment of silence, though the way his gaze lingers on you tells you that he might not be entirely telling the truth.

soon after though, he makes a show of demanding it back. grabbing you by the waist and throwing you over his shoulder to “punish you for your thievery”, though you can feel uraume snickering at the way he tries to hide the look of absolute glee on his face to have you close to him.

kento nanami

he notices, he does, but he doesn’t act on it for quite some time. why? because giving you his clothing, or anything close to that for that matter, feels too intimate for the fragile bond that had been created between the two of you. he doesn’t understand why, but it feels like one wrong step could shatter what the two of you have.

eventually though, when it becomes unbearable for him to watch you rub your palms together to create little friction, he takes off his jacket carefully and drapes it over your shoulders neatly. he helps you put your arms into the sleeves of the jacket and makes sure it’s positioned perfectly tidy.

when you try to argue that the weather is cold enough for him to be wearing something to protect him too, he waves a hand politely to refuse.

“it’s only practical. you need it more than i do right now.”

he is only staring at you for the rest of your walk though, and something in his gaze makes you feel like looking at you helps him forget just how freezing the breezes are. when you reach your house, you wave him goodbye, silently praying he won’t ask for his jacket back. he only smiles at you.

“you can give it back later… or not.”

megumi fushiguro

like his father, he won’t do anything until you directly complain on his face about the chilly weather. not because he’s an airhead but because he’d rather you use your own words to tell him what you want instead of setting expectations from him.

he grimaces and grumbles but pulls off his sweater anyway. he hands it over to you and mutters begrudgingly to you. “here. just don’t stretch it out, okay?”

of course he’s flustered, but he’s also a bitch (/lh) so he likes to pretend to not notice how well his clothing fits you. he secretly notes the size and makes sure to buy the same from now on so it could fit both of you.

he asks you to show him how you look from the back, you know, just to see if you’re wearing it correctly of course, nothing more than that. when you twirl around to show him just that, the divine dogs he’s been holding on a leash jump up and down excitedly, and he tries to ignore the fact that his shikigami are supposed to be a replica of what he feels at the moment.

so when you ask him how you look, he'll only look away, hide his face in a hand and mumble, “you look fine, i guess. now stop complaining.”

itadori yuji

he notices. he thinks. he offers. that’s my king.

immediately insists, literally begs for you to wear his sweater with zero hesitation, even if you attempt to refuse.

“no way am i letting you freeze! take it! please! :3”

he watches you put it on slowly over your arms and then your head. all the while he has this a big, goofy grin on his face as if he has just conquered the world. he starts murmuring to himself about how pretty you look in his clothes, and how he should lend them to you more often.

when you question what he just said, his cheeks turn red and he stumbles upon his words before quickly diverting the topic and babbling about some human earthworm 4.

when you ask him when you have to return it, he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck and suggests, “never...? i mean, your choice, obviously, but, i thought— i don’t know what i thought actually. i kinda just short-circuited a few moments ago.”

okkotsu yuta

he notices, but he’s worried he’ll seem too forward or creepy if he asks you to wear his sweater. he knacks his brain to recall any romantic advice panda might’ve shared with him about this matter. did girls like it when you gave them your stuff? how would you even give your stuff anyway? do you just... give it? or do you—?

“it’s cold, isn’t it?” you interrupt him, looking at him expectantly.

“wha? oh yeah, yeah. um, here! you can wear this!” he excitedly but gingerly takes his sweater off and adjusts it carefully around you. his fingers brush against your shoulder and he looks away immediately as if scared at the contact he just made with you. you ask how you look, and he stutters a bit.

“i— i think it looks good on you. like… really good. i mean, you always look good, of course.”

you smile at him to thank him and he flushes. he mutters about how you can keep it for today, or as long as you liked, or maybe even forever if you wanted, because he had too many of them anyway, and he’d rather share it with the one person he likes the most in the whole world. obviously, he doesn’t say all that aloud; okkotsu yuta would faint if he tried.

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briseroyawritingsblog · 20 hours ago

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𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 — 𝑨𝑼

𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒓!𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒕 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎𝒂��𝒆!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

• +21 minors do not interact. this is actually taboo, mutual flirtation, desire, inappropriate thoughts, large age gap, heavy kissing, professor is so horny in this (beware), darkish AU, light stalking (if you squint) mutual pining (little) mentions of rough sex, thinking of unprotected sex.

𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒂𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 / 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

dividers by @anitalenia

Yes it happened, he’d overwork so he didn’t have to return home. That home of his was nothing but cold, empty, and lonely. Another evening of sitting in his office and marking the last semester papers. He’d secretly drink some whiskey out of a coffee cup and remove his shoes to feel comfortable. Stretching his limbs he’d sigh and think what happened to his life. Children grown up and wife somewhere out there with a new man. Yes- divorce was messy but at the end the feeling in his chest could’ve been compared to elation, maybe freedom. Divorces ended up being messy because of the heartbreak but man in his age? He desired peace- adjusting the reading specs on the bridge of his nose and sighed coming across your semesters quiz. Naturally loving the way you curved the font of your name on his papers. Reading your essay only to the half way and marking it ‘excellent’ because to be truthful you were a very creative writer. Thoughts drifting to many places as he touched the coffee cup to sip on his whiskey. He could also definitely just retire because being a teacher in his late 50’s was quite challenging. Not because of the age range, he lost patience. Yes… it happened. Secretly hating his colleagues guts, but oh god when he saw you… there it was. The weak spot- what he liked the most that you’d always catch his gaze. Sitting at the back of the classroom leaning on your elbow and catch his gaze. Seeing you press your thighs together under the desk, at the praise he gave you for your test results. He liked praising you.

Being newly enrolled, finding new friends which you did instantly and they were cool people. Sharing mutual interests and forming a little study sessions in the library. It was honestly so good. But the moment you saw him passing by holding that green smoothie in his hand from cafeteria you loved so much. You caught yourself staring, goodness he was tall. That hair slicked back, and the specs, your chest felt like giving up. A breath caught in your throat as he locked his eyes with yours. Gripping the book against your chest you ran up to him “Mr..” stilling his feet he acknowledged you “Y/N” a smile greeting his features and you grew weak in your knees. Secrets… secrets again. You had tons of them. “Did they have any different flavors?” You pointed at his smoothie and he chuckled shrugging. “I’m not entirely sure, but this one caught my eye today.” You nodded “it’s pretty great. I get it all the time.” He moistened his lips as you spoke. “Oh don’t say, that good?” Bringing the straw to his lips he tasted it. The sweet flavors leaving his tastebuds dancing. “Very healthy, it’s sweet” he hummed. “Walk with me?” He motioned to his office at the end of the corridor. Your heart needed to calm down because god, you couldn’t stop the feelings. Holding the book against your chest forgetting about your study session and your friends soon finding yourself sitting in his office. Leaning back against his chair he sighed. Finally having you for himself- it’s been days since he last time saw you. “Read your essay, i must say it’s amazing” he praised. “Really? You think it’s good?” You relaxed your shoulders taking a breath. “I know it’s very good, you don’t have to study so hard in that library you already have it.” Answering you with so much confidence your attraction level towards him spiked off the roof. “Thank you Sir..” you smiled, eyes sparkling. “Most welcome” the Sir part definitely surged through his body and straight to his cock. You had no idea…

Throwing his briefcase on the passengers seat, it was time to go home but he didn’t want to. He really didn’t want to walk into that cold empty house alone. Maybe divorce was fine but he didn’t expect to feel so goddamn lonely whenever he was at home. He could eat out, join his awful work colleagues because they constantly invited him. About to start his car he noticed you running across the road, he leaned back in his drivers seat adjusting his specs, your skirt bounced as you ran flashing him a sight of your thighs. You got in the car with a man he figured it’s your father. How much he wanted to drive you home, maybe hold your inner thigh with one hands and maybe- only maybe touch that sweet pussy of yours. He would trace your little folds and make them wet. He wanted to fit his cock right between those folds and fuck it until you’d cry for him to stop. Maybe a little rougher- maybe causing you a little lust filled pain. Snapping his hips right into you, faster and faster gripping you around your neck. These thoughts ran through his mind, making his cock heavy in his dress pants. Hissing softly as he touched his growing cock through his pants shifting in his seat, god he hated this. He hated not having you for himself and pound that little pussy of yours at every chance he’d be able to. Fill you right up with his cum, and stuff it back in you as it would leak out of you.

Seeing your professor sitting in his car, on the other side of the car park you waved. He seemed to be looking down perhaps reading something- and in fact yes he was reading a book because what else he’d have to do to make his little ‘problem’ suffice away. You told your father that you’d rather walk, the car park was nearly empty and it was getting dark maybe it was your chance to tell your professor about your new story what you were writing. No harm in that right? Getting out of your father’s car waving him goodbye, you ran back across the road to your professors car gently knocking on his window. He looked up, and god his heart sunk in surprise seeing you there. Sliding his window down slowly you stuttered at first “I-I just saw you sitting here thinking you were reading and yes you’re.” He nodded slowly masking the awful need in the pit of his stomach. “Hop in.” You excitedly did- getting on his passengers seat. “It’s actually a novel by my favourite author.” Handing you the book locking the doors. You eagerly read the info about the plot and bit your lower lip. “Have it. It’s from my library at home, I really don’t borrow books from the campus.” Your eyes grew wide. “Really?! I can read it?” He smiled nodding. “Of course! Give it back once you finish.” Your heart thumping against your chest cavity not containing yourself anymore kissing his cheek telling him endless thank you’s. Closing his eyes the moment your lips touched his cheek his breath hitched. He chuckled lightly giving your hand a gentle squeeze. Then it hit you- you kissed your professor even though it was not allowed at all you felt like breaking the rules. “I can show you.. the book, umm- in my home.” He offered, and you swallowed. Was this happening? Really? “I - I cannot accept it Sir. Honestly.. you’re too sweet.” He hummed at your words but not saying anything. “What if I like being sweet with you?” He then answered. Your cheeks deepened in red, lord… what on earth was happening to you?

“First editions? First official printings?” You gazed in utter awe tracing the books in his library. He was leaning against his table, arms folded in his chest. “What’s this?” You asked innocently trying to reach for a book much higher not aware that your professor was sweet enough to sneak up behind you reaching for it your hands touching. Alone just you two in his house. Tilting your head towards him your faces inches apart, your heart was jumping and juddering in your chest as his cologne hit your nose. It was woodsy, hint of spiciness, perhaps even a little tiny bit floral. “Here” whispering taking a whiff of your hair. “I should go-” you realized that this hole you were about to fall into would be hard to get out of. “So soon?” He whispered giving you some of his warmth, his chest pressing to your back. Warmth radiating from his body- your lips parted. Dropping the book by your two feet turning around his large hands capturing your ribs. Leaning down his mouth was on yours kissing you fiercefully. You moaned gaining him the access to your tongue and he kissed the hell out of you. Wet kisses, full of cravings and desire painting your soul in reds and oranges. Your hands finding rest on his back as you indulged yourself in the warm feeling, his large body pressing you against the books his hand hiking your thigh around his waist. The way your tongues glided and touched in your mouths the saliva strings connecting your mouths as you both hungrily kissed again and again moaning in sweet lust. Tilting his face to one side as he devoured your lips, you couldn’t stop the mewls which escaped you making his cock possibly harder. Your panties getting in twist pussy leaking with wetness drenching your own panties you both found pace rubbing against each other. The rough material of his belt buckle giving your clit a cold touch causing you gasping for air against his lips and his large hand gripped the back of your neck. His grunts and groans, surged through you. “S-Sir” gasping at the neck kisses wrapping your arm around his neck pulling him down on you feeling his kisses on your soul. His arms wrapped around you “let me make you feel good angel, i wanna take good care of you” your brain was telling you to stop heart telling you to give yourself to the man who was so passionately ravishing your mouth. Your body betraying you- you were so lost. “Been needing you so much lately” admitting all these things while touching your body in ways hand on your breast kissing your chest sniffing you his thumb circling your hardened peak through your bra and blouse. Your hands holding his back, wanting him all over you. “M’so scared this is not allowed but I want you” admitting making him kiss you passionately touching your pussy through your panties. Those kisses and touches were unforgettable that’s why it took you everything to gently push him away and run out of his house with tears spilling down your cheeks because this was not allowed. You might’ve loved your professor yes and he might have loved you back- but this could not happen at all. Wiping your tears with the back of your sleeve you ran as fast as you could. Even though your heart hurt immensely- you both knew you’d steal moments to be together.

My secret lover… my secret- only mine. “To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.”

(Apologies for any mistakes and typos in advance)

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mixingandmelting · 2 days ago

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Hi! If you are accepting requests right now can you please write how batboys will act around fem! reader when they are in love/crushing on her? Also getting jealous when their crush gives more attention to someone else other than them?

If you are not accepting requests right now then you don't have to write it thank you anyways ❤️❤️❤️

A/N: This was such a classic and fun to write anon! Thanks for the request ❤️

Dick

He constantly craves for your attention, wanting you to look at him as much as he looks and thinks about you. Always keeping you on your toes with affectionate teasing, intentionally pushing your buttons to get you to chase after him, or pulling pranks enjoying how he surprises you using his acrobatic skills and stealth. He even performs parlor-magic tricks including the one where all of a sudden there’s a rose in his hand after brushing the stray hair behind your ear and tucking it into your hair. He loves how adorable you look when annoyed as much as hearing you praise him from being impressed, but the fact he can get you to focus on him and only him sends him over the moons.

When he gets jealous, he tries not to get obvious. He behaves as if he’s also interested in the other person you’ve been giving your attention to, asking about mundane things to see how you feel and think of them. But when your replies are filled with positives and not the typical meh, he gets moody and might leave to brood for a bit. He doesn’t appreciate competition when he’s busting his butt to win you over, desiring to be the only person in your eyes and heart. When you’re talking to them, he casually slides into the conversation and acts normal. Body relaxed, cracking jokes and laughing. Everything seems fine except he stays close to your side, where if you move a bit, he moves too so he stays exactly where his spot is- right next to you.

Jason

The way he acts is as if he’s back being the second Robin prior to his death. The jokes he cracks and the replies he gives are more light-hearted while found more frequently, genuinely smiling and laughing when with you. He’s a bit more mindful with what or how he states things, not wanting to hurt you. This includes him getting apologetic if his words come out too rough. One could argue he’s being shy and self-conscious if only he was actually self-aware he’s acting like this. He knows how to act charming, having picked up girls a few times. Having a crush, though, is a completely new, uncharted-territory for him. The only thing that comes in his mind is to show his best sides, hoping that he won’t scare you off and he’d be able to stay with you longer while making you happy when he’s around.

He is not good at handling jealousy at all. There’s tension in his body and gets smart-mouthed whenever he attempts to break the conversation going between the other person and you. Luckily for him, his behavior comes off as him being sassy since he does restrain himself as he’s in front of you. Eventually he gets the other to scram as he continues to stand behind you, sending an intimidating glare that’s backed up by his height and muscles. He’s more quiet and stiff, getting extra sarcastic and a bit dark humored in his replies when you won’t stop talking about them, hating and irritated by the ugly emotions he has. Even more so when it’s not actually your fault, it’s his for being in love with you.

Tim

He’s very attentive towards you. Always texting you, seeing how things are, wanting to know if you’re okay while sending a message back as soon as he gets one from you, basically making himself your go-to texting buddy. He’s quick to pick out your likes and dislikes, keeping a mental note of them whenever he’s inviting you to go somewhere or getting you something. He acts a bit impulsive subconsciously, giving you a hug out of the blue when he gets excited or nerding out over something or grabbing your hand so he can get you to see one of the best scenes he knows you’ll ever see. He won’t ever admit it but he tends to be extra when skateboarding in front of you, enjoying how you get awestruck with the tricks he shows.

When you’re giving someone else more attention, he slides into the conversation and will try to turn the conversation away from you. Polite business smile that doesn’t reach his eyes while standing close, right next to you, yes he is intentionally trying to imply something without you knowing . When you talk about them, he listens but snorts and does not agree with any good comment you make. May drop some questions here and there to see what you think of them. The only reason it only goes that far though is because he already did a background check on them, so he can get a good idea if the other party is within the realm of your interest or not.

Duke

He’s extremely jumpy and hyper aware. Physical touching is a no-go where he’ll flinch, jump, or stiffen up. Literally, if you accidentally brush hands against his, he’s shooting that hand up as if he’s raising his hand for class. His face is on fire if you get too close and when he talks with you, he’s needing to put in twice the effort to pay attention to what you’re saying since his mind keeps trailing off on how good you looked for today. Thankfully he’s able to still act like himself whenever you guys talk, still being sarcastic and real. Just, he comes off as being weird making him wonder why he can’t act naturally and play things down-to-earth.

If you’re paying attention to someone more than him whether it’s talking about them more than usual (in his perspective) or talking with them physically (again in his perspective), he’s the type to get uncomfortable and portray unease. Contrary to his usual sarcastic self, he gets quiet and at some point might try to change the topic to something else. He doesn’t interrupt the conversation when you’re talking with the other person since he doesn’t know how to act in situations without making you realize he has a crush on you. He does manage to stay polite when he’s suddenly mentioned or dragged into the conversation, but there’s a lot of awkwardness because he doesn't want to continue talking with them.

Damian

He’s extremely hot and cold, acting exactly how little kids tend to act around their crush. He teases you a lot, making so many remarks and snarky comments over things that aren’t even significant. He absolutely loves to show off the things he’s capable of doing in all fields, wanting to hear you and just you on how amazing he is. He is very possessive of you where if you got a new pen or eraser from someone, he’ll get rid of it and replace it with or without you noticing with something he gets you instead. It only happened once or twice though. He usually intercepts it before the gift gets to you.

It’s because of this, he gets jealous really easily. When you’re giving more attention to someone, he’ll be sending them the look that shows that the other signed a visit from death. That or one that screams for the other to leave or else. He’ll be criticizing starting from hair to shoes, nothing left behind. He’ll go low enough and start a childish fight with you over how you’re constantly talking about the other party, bringing them up in every conversation. And it’s only because he feels as though you aren’t appreciating his presence in your life, feeling threatened that you’d not want to be with him anymore because he isn’t good enough.

#dick grayson #dick grayson x reader #nightwing #nightwing x reader #damian wayne #damian wayne x reader #duke thomas #duke thomas x reader #dc signal #jason todd #jason todd x reader #red hood #red hood x reader #tim drake x reader #tim dake #red robin dc #red robin x reader

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spideyanakin · 2 days ago

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Omg requests for fiyero!

How about an angsty childhood best friends to strangers to lovers? Maybe growing up together, parting ways and then reuniting at shiz?

Thank you!

purple butterflies (fiyero. t)

synopsis ➾ gn! reader, purple butterflies and strawberry tarts; the memories of him who turned bittersweet with growing up. He replaced them with lovers and careless days. You replaced the memories with studying and focusing on your future, never thinking your new worlds would ever collide. [w.c 4k]

warnings ➾ reader is heartbroken and sassy, angst, fiyero being cute, me being shit at science and inventing my own rules bc let's face it this takes place in a magic land

authors note - omg stop I ADORE this request, I've had so much fun writing this <3 hope you like it. also i hope i didn't miss any accidental pronouns, i wanted to make this gn, lmk if i did!.

fiyero masterlist

main masterlist

and strawberry tarts (p.2)

Purple butterflies and strawberry tarts. If you were careful you could still taste the faint sourness of the fresh strawberries from the grounds of Kiamo Ko. The freshly made dough and the sugar sprinkled on top, caramelised just enough to balance it with soft bitterness.

But now it seemed the bitterness conquered it all. Turned the strawberries tasteless, the pie crust burnt to an overbearing crisp and the sugar overcooked, with it chased away the butterflies and turned the grass greener on the other side.

Kiamo Ko had been left empty by the prince a long time ago. When his turbulent personality started bubbling up to the surface, the king and queen started to grasp every straw they possibly could, clinging for any solution to mend their son’s behavior.

When the list of tutors fell short, by the twentieth one who ran out of the castle with freshly broken glasses and a dirt stained shirt, howling scandal as he pushed himself through the doors—it had been a final decision. Fiyero was to be sent to boarding school.

With him gone, emptiness was brought to Kiamo Ko, and his family decided to move away. To another castle, another place that would better suit their new needs.

Your family was thanked for their service. Your father retired from his duties in the royal guard, and stayed behind to tend your farm. Only your eldest brother had accompanied the royals in their new life.

It's not like you wanted to become strangers. You tried to grasp at your friendship. Sending him letter after letter. But when the letters went unanswered, you were left with a universe of unanswered feelings. Unanswered questions that would forever cloud your heart.

With that, the prince became a distant memory. Chasing fluorescent purple butterflies in the gardens of Kiamo Ko at night and eating his mother's strawberry tarts became faded dreams.

Your only source of information became gossips and your brother's occasional letter, reporting on Fiyero's short stays at the new castle.

You heard he had asked about you, once, maybe twice. But as years passed, and his interests fully shifted, so did yours.

Your vile was running out of ink. Your fingers were stained blue, from your palm to the very tips of your fingers--stains you would struggle removing.

Your scribbles were getting rougher. You needed to finish this, you wanted to finish this before the clock struck three. You were getting a headache, your blueish hand was cramping, and you were starting to stain the parchment.

But people were squeaking, whispering, and where the library once felt quiet and peaceful it now felt like a coffee shop on saturday afternoons, filled to the brim with gossipers.

You continued scribbling. Something about Munchkinland being saved from rebels. A leader, a general was involved in the lot, you couldn't remember his name, you wanted to remember his name. So you continued to fill the paper with nonsense until his name would come to your mind.

But you were running out of ink. The loops felt lighter, were lighter, you wouldn't have enough to finish. So you pressed th quill further on the page. You continued to write, a sentence than another, a word than another.

Snap.

Fuck. Your feather snapped in half.

"Dammit."

"You alright?" Elphaba broke your turbulent mind, glancing towards you.

That's when she noticed; the broken quill, the stained hands, the essay dirtied in front of you.

"Fine," you mumbled, throwing the quill aside. "I thought I could finish this today."

"It's not due til next week, you'll be fine."

"Hm," you wanted to rub your forehead, but quickly realised it wouldn't be a good idea.

Elphaba saw it, she fished for her handkerchief in her pocket and handed it to you.

You thanked her, cursing again when you realised the extent of the mess on your fingers.

"What's going on?" She asked when another sigh escaped your lips.

"Nothing," you mumbled. "I have a headache, I'm hungry, tired-"

"You're working too much."

"I need to pass this class. Since Mr. Dillamond left-"

"I know. We're all in the same situation here, don't worry about it."

"Right..." You continued wiping your fingers. She was right. The whole class had been going on a down spree since the new teacher arrived. He was harsh, focused on shallow things from history you shouldn't be studying. Where once it was about analyzing the impact history had on the lands of today, his class became about glorifying the heroes still alive and spreading propaganda.

It didn't help that the whole school seemed to be brewing with anticipation. Your gaze caught once again for the fourth time that day; three students whispering and giggling to each other about something. They were squeaking and blushing.

"What is going on?" You huffed, twisting the handkerchief.

"A prince arrived at school or something."

"Prince?" You raised an eyebrow. You wondered who it could possibly be. Most princes of Oz had already graduated university, and as far as you knew, Fiyero was on the other side of Oz studying at Killimand.

"Oh Oz," you cursed, one of your bracellets had been contaminated by the ink. You wanted to cry, or maybe it was just the nerves from the day building up. This was your favorite. It had too many memories attached, memories you didn’t want to forget just yet.

"What happened?"

"Bracelet's stained," you tried to clean it but it kept falling from your grip.

"Here, let me help," she grabbed your wrist and the handkerchief.

Indeed the small butterfly wing pendant had been stained by blue.

"Here," she smiled, wiping it clean. "All good." She dropped your hand and placed the fabric back in her pocket. "It's pretty," she noticed as you checked it. "Anyone has the other half?"

"How do you know it has another half?"

"It's half a butterfly," she suggested and you smiled at the observation.

"It is. I don't think anyone has the other half," you replied with a tight smile. You knew the other half had existed, but whether or not it still did, or was still worn by its owner was another question. You started to fold your essay and clean your writing supplies. "So, this prince?"

"Oh, yeah, everyone is already swooning over him. Stumbled across him, he didn't seem like the brightest."

"Does he have a name?"

"It's that Winkie prince, Fiyero something-"

"Fiyero Tigelaar?" You gulped, and your face must have fallen because Elphaba scrunched her eyebrows.

"You know him?"

"N-no," you quickly shook your head, "just heard of him... Everyone has-" you breathed, why your hands were getting clammy?

"I'm going to go, I'll see you tomorrow," you collected the last of your stuff. Shoving your books and quill in your bag faster than you realised.

Elphaba looked so confused, you almost felt bad, almost wanted to turn around to apologize, but your mind was already on overdrive. Your chest was starting to uncontrollably heave--you needed to get out, quickly.

Fiyero was here? At Shiz?

If you thought you were having a bad day, you didn't think it could get any worse. The one person that you thought you would never see again was now roaming the very halls of your University. You'd probably share a class or two with him if you were truly that unlucky.

Oz, what did you do to deserve this?

Would he even remember you? Would he even realize the heartache he had caused you?

Would he remember what he had told you that night under the stars when it was official he would be leaving to boarding school? How he had held your hand, squeezed it so tight so you would remember his touch.

Would he even remember chasing purple butterflies for the last time together that night. How impatient he had been, how he scared them, making them flutter away, only for the small creatures to circle the both of you.

How the butterflies, the moonlight, and the silent trees were the only other witnesses to him kissing you.

Your first kiss.

His first kiss.

Though it would be his first kiss of many; a start to a life of accumulated lovers, you reminded yourself as you clenched your books a little tighter.

You had just been his first victim.

That night, under the stars of Winkie country as fluorescent purple butterflies swarmed around you, as his hand slithered around your waist, the other brushing the apple of your cheek in a sealing touch. That night he had sealed the fate of your heart with his lips.

Because the next morning he had left you and Kiamo Ko behind with no regrets, only preparing himself for his new life ahead.

"And so this is the library," Glinda's voice mumbled over your ears. You were too focused on your boiling thoughts to even register her, or to notice the figure trailing behind her.

You royally bumped into them, full strength as you attempted to dart out of the library.

Whoever he was; he was strong. Years of training behind him as you felt his arm wrap around your shoulder in attempt to cushion the crash.

"Wow hey there, watch out," his voice was soft, charming, familiar almost- "Ranger!?" He squeaked in delight. Your mind swirled, no one had called you that since-

Fiyero.

You opened your eyes to meet his.

Indeed you were face to face with him, his arms still wrapped around you.

He was older, but then so were you. He didn't change a bit though, still as handsome, maybe even more charming than before. You found yourself staring up at the same blue eyes, the same grin you remembered and loved.

Your heart looped in your chest, and that's when you knew you had to get out of here, quickly.

But as he looked at you his eyes sparkled, and the brightest smile you had ever seen him wear raised upon his features, somehow your feet were stuck in place.

"Oh Oz! How have you been?" Fiyero did not hesitate to cage you in his arms again, and suddenly you couldn't breathe.

His hug was perfect. Just like you remembered. As if the years had never passed and you still fitted against one another like two pieces of a puzzle.

Two wings of the same butterfly.

You felt incapable of reciprocating the hug. He didn't feel the same, yet he felt exactly like you remembered. He smelled the same, jasmin, fresh roses and leather, almost intoxicating as the memories came crashing through again.

You wanted to cry. Right there in the middle of the Shiz library, as his arms were wrapped around you; you wanted to cry.

Suddenly you craved Cruck, your rabbit stuffed animal that you left behind under the soft covers of your childhood room. You wanted to be tucked into your pastel sheets by your mother. You wanted to fall asleep with a smile on your lips as you remembered the day's adventure. That sleep would take you as you dreamt of the roses of Kiamo Ko; because you knew you would wake up just to run to them again the next morning.

Because you knew that after your mother attempted to have you eat breakfast, you would run back to the castle just to find Fiyero waiting for you up in the tree by the gates.

You almost melted into the hug. Almost.

Because after the jasmin, the roses and the leather there had been heartbreak. The lost letters, the unanswered calls. The empty promises.

"I'm alright," you attempted, still crushed in his grip.

"You two know each other?" Galinda squeaked behind her books. Eye brows scrunching, of course she would be the one showing him around.

"Yeah!" Fiyero bounced on his heels, loosening his grip on you.

He was gazing at you as if you were a wonder of the world and you did not like it one bit.

Hand still on your shoulder, people were starting to gather around, curiosity getting the best of them. After all, you had suddenly become a competition in the conquering of his heart.

But the more eyes were on you, the tenser you felt--and Fiyero did not seem to care or even notice.

"Yeah! Her brother works for the royal guard, we grew up together! Oz! How have you been?" He repeated, and you blinked--was he truly this happy to see you?

You wanted to disappear into the books, melt into the shelves, and be one with the stories.

"I've been fine," it was colder, drier than you wished. You didn't want to speak to him that way, but you couldn't help yourself. "I have to go Fiyero."

He almost seemed disappointed. You almost felt bad.

"See you around?"

You didn't reply.

You left without even glancing back to him.

The clock was ticking painfully slow, and you watched as Mr. Willows grabbed yet again another bicker from the shelves by his side.

He placed it on his desk and stepped towards the small glass greenhouse. Five small bright neon blue mushrooms stood proudly atop a mound of dirt.

He delicately removed the glass top of the greenhouse and the mushrooms suddenly lost all their fluorescence, turning grey white. You carefully watched as he plucked one right out and dropped it into the bicker.

As he placed the glass jar back on top and the mushroom's colors shone brightly again, he grumbled in his low voice, "Now, do you know what causes their fluoresces?" He turned his glass-hidden eyes towards the twenty-six heads in front of him.

No answers.

You hesitated, but giggles stopped you. Giggles coming from the back left of the classroom, not far from the door.

In the quiet of the room, all eyes turned to them. Of course, they had bloomed from Fiyero's chest, and you eyed as he leaned back in his chair smirking, with a blushing Galinda by his side.

"Is there something funny Mr. Tigelaar?"

Fiyero seemed to be taken aback, but he brushed it off just as quickly, "no, please continue with what you were saying."

"Can you answer the question for me?"

He blinked.

"Could you repeat the question?"

"What causes the fluoresce of those mushrooms?"

"The fact that they're magic?" Fiyero poorly offered, and you were sure it had caused a laugh from a red-headed girl sitting across you.

Mr. Willows sighed, placing his glasses further up his nose.

"Anyone else?"

"It's caused by the chemical reaction of their molecules when it's exposed to dark lights. The moon is enough to light them in nature, but during the day, to see it you'd have to place it in special glass, like the one you have, Sir."

"Very good. At least someone is paying attention."

You missed the grin Fiyero was throwing you.

"Hey, Ranger!" His voice caught in your ears, tangling like honey and seeping through every parts of you.

You were tempted to escape, but somehow he had melted your feet to the ground, and all you could do was wait for him to catch up, "still love being the smarter one I see?" He offered, leaning to you with a sly grin.

What game was he playing?

"Fiyero, it was a simple answer, you should have known that."

"Will you come to the Oz dust tonight?"

"No. I've got to study."

"C'mon! It will give us a chance to catch up!"

"No," your reply was stern, and you could almost catch a glimpse of disappointment across his features; same as this morning in the library.

"Do it for me, please?" he pouted, big blue eyes sparkling again--and suddenly you were back in the gardens of Kiamo Ko, with a pleading boy prince, begging that you join on his mischief.

"I'll think about it," you sighed, tightening your grip on your books as you started bouncing on your heels to leave. Oz, you'd have to work on the effects his charm had on you.

You were over him.

You had been over him for years, or so you thought.

"You better be there," he pointed out.

"I'll think about it," you repeated, giving him a short smile before finally disappearing into a corridor.

"So what was that about? Your dramatic, I don't know Fiyero, but I clearly do?" Elphaba raised an eyebrow, looking up from her book.

"It's nothing," you huffed, focusing on your history book. You turned around on your bed, your back towards Elphaba in a silent plea to stop the questions.

"I'm calling it bullshit."

"I'm allowed my secrets," you mumbled against your pillow.

"No," she grinned. "Not with the way he was staring at you."

"Same way he stares at everyone."

"Galinda will beg to differ. She's been pestering me with questions about you all day!"

You heard shuffling from behind you, and glanced from the corner of your eye to see Elphaba closing her book and marching the few steps towards you.

"Then let her think. It will do her some good to use that brain of hers," you turned your focus back on your textbook--eyes squinting as you turned the page; only to be met with Winkie Country in bold black letters, with a drawing of the plains and cities below it.

"Ugh," you harshly closed the book, slapping it across the bed.

"Will you tell me at least?" You barely noticed as she sat by the foot of your bed.

"There's nothing much to say," your eyes met hers. "We grew up together, then we lost contact."

"And nothing else happened?"

"No," you lied.

"I refuse to believe that."

"That's what you will have to do, sorry," you sighed and stared at your ceiling lamp, a pretty purple crystal flower blooming from the ceiling.

"Right..." She paused in thought, you were almost curious as to what she would say next. "Well I don't, and I'll keep pestering you about it."

"It's almost curfew, you need to get back to your dorm," you mumbled, sitting up and grabbing your hair brush from your bedside table.

"Stop changing the subject," she warned. "Galinda's probably there getting ready with her two shadows anyway."

"Tweedle dee and Tweedle dumb," you laughed to yourself, starting to detangle your hair. "Are you going to the Oz dust with them?"

"No. You?"

You shook your head no, snuggling deeper into the cushions of your bed.

"I heard Fiyero asked you to come," she teased.

"You heard nothing," you pointed to her with the tip of your hair brush. "Now get out before I throw that book in your face," you accentuated your words by pushing your textbook toward her with your toes.

"Fine," she chuckled. "I'm warning you, I'll get the answers out of you somehow," and with those words, she disappeared through the doors of your dorm, leaving you alone with the shadows of your thoughts.

Your eyes went back to the lamp on your ceiling before fluttering closed. You sighed through your nose, heart squeezing in your chest.

Pictures of a dancing boy in a pastel green suit flashed before your closed eyes before you could stop them. The polished marble floors of the great hall as music flowed. Your father in a uniform, adorned by medals; a change to his usual knight's armor you rarely saw him out of. Your mother in her most beautiful dress by his side.

Fiyero dragging you through the dancing bodies, causing havoc once again. The Queen scolding him later that evening.

You almost expected to open your eyes to the beautiful adorned ceiling of Kiamo Ko's great hall, but when you did, you weren't met with the familiar stained glass. You weren't met with the family portraits of generations of Tigelaars.

You were met with that damned purple ceiling lamp.

Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to go...

Maybe you could get some answers out of him?

Maybe you could finally get some closure.

But could you handle the hypocrisy? Could you handle seeing him dancing with Galinda, just for him to look at you with puppy dog eyes the second she was out of his sight?

Your outfit felt tight against your body. Tighter than it usually did. The purple mesh pooled around you perfectly as you walked, trailing behind you gracefully with each step. For a golden second, you felt like you belonged here, walking down the steps of the Oz dust.

The music was loud, echoing through the cave in its gripping melody. People were cheering, singing lyrics you did not know, and it suddenly felt as if you were drowning, maybe you were. Caged under the ocean in a bubble of music, sweat, and fairy dust.

That's when you spotted him. He was dancing with a boy you shared mathematics with. Jory, a tall handsome blonde that had most students swooning before Fiyero had stepped a foot at Shiz.

You noticed Galinda was nowhere to be found, nor was Elphaba.

You breathed.

You could do this.

If your biggest fear was Galinda's judgment, and she wasn't even there, then why was your heart beating out your chest the more your feet took you down the stone steps?

You twisted the fabric of your sleeves as you darted towards the bar. You smiled at the waiter before ordering your drink, your rings clinking with your coins as you placed them on the marble counter. to pay.

And suddenly he was there. Like a shadow he appeared, attracted to you like a moth to a flame.

"You came," there was a smile in his voice you couldn't deny. It made you at a loss for words, awkwardly swallowing as you figured out what you should say.

"Where's your date?" You finally spoke, keeping your gaze focused on your hands on the counter.

"Left with her roommate."

"Hm,"

"I'm glad you're here," his voice was soft over the music, yet you could still hear it just as clearly.

You didn't reply, simply smiled before turning your attention to the drink the waiter slid to you.

You took a sip, bathing in the silence between you.

Fiyero's silence was loud, so loud your ears were ringing.

Before you could even register, his hand reached to yours. Pinky finger searching your own on the polished counter. You watched, unable to let your attention fly from his hand. The moment felt painfully slow, and too fast all at once.

Suddenly you saw it, the pull of your butterfly pendent.

You noticed his only after, the golden bracelet amidst the myriad of others; leather cuffs, silver, and gold chains. But the one you had placed upon his wrists years ago was still there, and as his hand crept closer, the two pendants collided like they were meant to.

The magnets merged and the purple butterfly was whole again.

Two wings of the same butterfly.

You gazed up to see him, just to find his eyes already on yours.

Neither of you spoke, scared to break the silence.

Your vision was getting blurry, your breath was becoming chopped. Now you really felt like you were drowning.

Drowning in a myriad of purple butterflies.

You were back in that forest. His eyes were the ones of a small boy again, standing amidst the gardens of his home. The jasmin, the roses and the leather were engulfing you whole, filling your lungs to the brim.

"Dance with me."

"We shouldn't-"

"Please?"

#prince fiyero 🫧#fiyero #fiyero tigelaar #fiyero x you #fiyero imagine #fiyero x reader #fiyero tigelaar x you #fiyero tigelaar x y/n #fiyero tigelaar x reader #fiyero tigelaar imagine

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ekrixart · 2 days ago

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@yallemagne Saw your tags and wanted to say that interpretations that incorporate the sexualities are totally fine! Thanks for being so interested in the game and thank you for asking, I appreciate it- Personally, when writing for Vince his queerness was apart of his character but just wasn't a defining aspect of his arc. I don't mind people shipping them or writing about them being romantic or exploring that at all, I think it's a cool thing that blooms from fandom and exploring those character dynamics are what I find most engaging making the games in the first place. Don't feel anxious to post your thoughts on our games, even in the off-chance its not something I would agree with it's still enlightening to hear peoples interpretations of the stories I work on.

The thing with queerbaiting I wanted to address [spoilers ahead] was specifically people feeling cheated out of an ending where they get together.

I've seen people say that they were expecting a possible ending where Rody and Vince become romantic partners and that it felt like the story was pushing in that direction with the implication that they were queerbaited. I think it's alright to feel upset by an ending of a story and a lot of the criticism towards Dead Plate has been things I think I should take into account with future projects- but to expect an ending where two queer characters ultimately get together purely because the story explores ideas of queerness with the characters doesn't mean you were queerbaited when you didn't get that ending.

Because any ending where Rody and Vince got together wouldn't be indicative of the story we were trying to write. If Rody and Vince were to be romantic with eachother by the end it would undo all of the build up and kind of erase the entire point of their dynamic- Rody's entire issue was that he only knew how to live for others while Vince's issue was that he only knew how to live for himself. Their dynamic allowed each of them to see things from the other perspective, giving Rody the chance to change and grow by living for himself and ultimately punishing Vince due to his inability to change despite wanting to.

But yes- To answer your concern, it's fine to explore different interpretations of the game. I don't want people to be scared off from expressing their feelings on a story because they're worried its not what the authors were going for- Stories arent some secret problem to be solved, theyre an ongoing discussion with the media and the audience. Even with what I've written here I still think if people disagree it's a net positive for them to explore that opinion. And also a discussion on Rodys internalized biphobia contributing to how he treats Vince and Manon sounds sick as hell

edit: I wrote this in like january and realized it was still in my drafts, sorry about that. Currently cleaning out all my asks/drafts so apologies if I start spamming for a bit

Since you confirmed Rody and Vince as both queer, I was wondering: did you write them with the idea of them being queer in your head, or was this an afterthought bc of the fan’s reactions?

Their sexualities were already a part of the characters back in February 2023 long before the game was developed and released. For example Rody being bisexual was always there as a fact as shown in the screenshot below which is from my private discord server where I store character infos/drafts:

Their sexualities weren't brought up in the game because it wasn't relevant to the story + they are characters who just happens to be queer and regardless of their sexuality the events in the game would still happen/remain the same, one doesn't effect the other. Instead of heavily highlighting it we wanted to treat it as another piece of fun fact since their sexualities doesn't define their character/personality.

We will never change or add anything to our characters or narratives just because of fan's reactions or suggestions, we only tell stories we want to tell!

#dead plate

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valalice · 10 hours ago

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Hello there!! I really love your work! Could I request some older! gf caitlyn with some subtle and soft dominance? Doesnt need to be nsfw [but won’t complain if it is ;))]

It could just be about how she acts with the reader when in public, at home, etc. [i.e: cooking for reader when they’re busy for exams, putting her hand on reader’s thighs when sitting in public, or big spooning reader when they head to bed.]

That’s all. Please remember to stay hydrated and take frequent breaks! Keep being you and don’t overwork yourself :)).

— 🐢

ꪆৎ HEAVEN, HEAVEN. c. kiramman

ʚɞ summary. subtle ways your older girlfriend caitlyn shows dominance towards you.

warnings. fem!reader. reader is in college. age gap (10 years or more). no use of y/n. modern au! where cait is an office worker. fluff. cait is a trade. in one headcanon there's a mention of curly hair (it's all for inclusivity and bias tbh—coming from a girl with curly hair). pet names ie: darling, love, baby, ect. smut nsfw. bottom!reader. dom!cait. hair pulling. mommy kink (reader calling cait mommy & cait calling herself mommy). squirting. cait had a bush. reader is a brat kinda. slight exhibition. fingering (r!receiving). orgasm denial. oral (c! receiving). strap (r!receiving). the strap is referred to as cait's cock. not proofread. wc. roughly 2k to 3k

an. thank you for the request, lovie! and i'm happy that you're enjoying my work ☺️ i decided to take this request and turn it into a headcanon format so i hope that's okay! you are too cute with your kind words and i hope you are taking care of yourself, drinking lots of water and eating yummy meals <3 i also decided to add some nsfw headcanons 🙈 so i hope you guys enjoy them. and for any of these headcanons i am willing to expand on them if you guys are interest :) remember to support your writers by reblogging !

࣪ ˖ SAFE FOR WORK.

straight away with caitlyn you notice her dominance. even before the two of you started dating and she was courting you, as she'd say when reminiscing with you or her friends on the early stages of you two, she exuded an air around her that nothing less than confidence, pride, and dominance. she's already tall at 6 foot, but her posture is always upright, her appearance sleek, and she reveled in maintaining eye contact. and before her you usually didn't find people who were overtly dominant attractive, but when it comes to caitlyn it's completely different, natural. it's the way she carry's herself and it rubs off on you.

the first subtle way of cait's dominance you noticed was her ability to make decisions. she's knows what she wants and how she wants it, and that's something you're relieved about, being too indecisive at times. so being able to let caitlyn reign free on decision making was something that gave you peace of mind. and it wasn't that she was a control freak (she kind of is, but that isn't the point), she helps level out the playing field when you're iffy.

"what would you like to eat for lunch, darling? my treat." she ask, clicking on her keys to unlock her car, taking the bag from off you shoulders to hold it in her hand.

"hm," breaking away from cait to walk around her car to the passenger seat, just before your slide in. "i don't really know." you cringe, you couldn't even count on your fingers how many times you've said this phrase in your relationship so far.

you hear caitlyn hum and the sound of her swinging open the back seat door and the shuffle of her setting your bag in the backseat before you enter your seat. she joins you in the driver's seat, clicking in her seat belt, her gaze settling upon you scrolling away on your phone. "would you like to eat out somewhere or pick up fast food and we can take it back to my place?"

your head darts up to look at your girlfriend, lips twisting up, thinking about your options. "i want something good."

that's earns a chuckle from cait, "i know that silly," her hand coming up to boop you on your noise, which caused you to scrunch it and giggle, swatting her hand away. "but what is exactly good?" she presses.

"well what do you think is good?"

"that wasn't the question."

you grumble, "you're so difficult."

"says you." she teases.

"'m always the one who picks. what would you like." you ask turning in your seat towards her as best as you can.

"i'm fine with whatever you'd like. you know that."

biting your lip you think about the choices she gave you earlier. "i think we should go back to your place."

"that's a start. do you have a taste for anything."

"i already answered that."

"darling." she sing songs in a tone similar to a warning.

she starts the engine, finally, and you immediately connect to the bluetooth.

"y'know we haven't had chinese in awhile." she proses, eyeing your expression from the corner of her eye.

"oh, that sounds really good actually."

cait perks up in the drivers seat, "you're usual?"

"yep!"

"alright," she stretches forward to twist the volume nob lower. "i'm going to call it in and we'll pick it up on the way home."

cait also does the general dominate things; like opening up doors of any kind for you when she can, interlocking your fingers when the two of you walk together, walking slightly in front of you at all times as well as guiding you. you secretly love it though when instead of guiding you through a crowd by being in front of you, you love it when she does it by standing behind you, a hand or both hands securely on your hips as she leads you forward from behind. she's also a firm believer of switching places when walking, on the street and you're near the road? she's switching with you. in the parking lot and your facing the intersections? she's using her hand on your lower back to guide you to be the closest near the parked cars.

she will also never let her girl look out of place, so she fixes anything that is "off" with your appearance. like fixing a certain stand of hair, taking that fallen eyelash off of your cheek and raising her finger with the piece of your fine hair on it in front of your lips so you could wish and blow it away, fixing your jacket so it's straight or the neckline of your shirt or dress, the straps of your bra will never be showing when you're wearing thin strapped items as long as caitlyn's around. holding your little compact mirror while you fix up your makeup or reapply your lipgloss. your necklaces will always be facing the correct way. picking off lint or stray hairs from your clothing. and she somehow always notices when your sneakers are starting to untie before your, pulling you aside so she can get on a knee and pat her propped up knee so you can place your foot there and allow her to tie your shoe, when she's done she pats your foot to let you know and she dust herself off before leaning down to give you a kiss.

when out in public she'll usually always keep one hand on you at all times. in a comforting way for the both of you, especially if the two of you will be around her friends or people her age. she knows you get antsy around them and there's anxiety about being the youngest in a room full of older people. so, there will always be a comforting arm wrapped around your waist or a hand in or lap or on your thigh.

you look around the room, there's people you've met before. caitlyn's friends and a few colleagues, but for the most part a majority of them are new faces. and you can't help but feel like everyone is looking at you.

you've never been insecure about being with caitlyn, yes she's older than you. but it's never stopped you from feeling head over heels for her and that feeling overpowers any doubt or insecurity you could ever have. it's the fact that it seems like you're the youngest in the room, there's nothing inherently bad about that. but everyone here is successful, and you're well. . . a college student working a job that has nothing to do with what you're going to school for.

a warm hand snaps you out of your thoughts. lifting your head, caitlyn's already looking at you with a soft expression. "you're shaking your leg, love."

"oh," looking down at the leg with cait's hand on it, still shaking. you stop it on command, focusing your gaze back on your girlfriend.

"are you okay?" she tilts her head, her eyebrows furrowing and the ponytail her blue hair is in swishes behind her, cute.

you give her a tight smile, nodding your head. "hm." you hope you're convincing enough.

caitlyn takes in a breath, breaking her gaze from you to look around the room. "y'know that woman over there went for the same major as you." she points out.

"really?" observing the woman who's talking with a few of their colleagues before turning your wide gaze back to your girlfriend.

"hm. she doesn't do work with it," she pauses, turning her head back to you with soft eyes. "but, what she does now is something she loves."

her hand smoothing up and your thigh, comforting you. "what i'm trying to say is that don't worry about your path right now being different from others around you." she reassures. reaching out to take a hand from your lap to take it in hers, bringing your hand to her lips and pressing a kiss.

flushing at her gesture, "thank you, cait." your voice small enough for only her to hear in the chatter of the room. your hand stays up near her lips and she presses a few more kisses, causing you to giggle.

"there she is." she muses.

you bring her hand holding yours down down into your lap to clasp her hand in between yours. leaning forward, a few inches from her face.

"kiss?"

caitlyn leans forward to meet your lips, not connecting them just yet. "any thing for my darling." she whispers against your lips.

it was also established pretty early that caitlyn is the big spoon in the relationship. she enjoys and you love it. caitlyn also finds it pretty cute whenever the two of you are laying anywhere whether it's the sofa or in bed that you turn your back to her and keep shifting until she notices your moving form, coming up to wrap herself around your backside. not really big spooning but caitlyn enjoys the feeling and pressure of your laying on top of her, always telling you how it grounds her whenever she pulls you along to the bed and flops you on top of her. but you never complain because you find it comforting too, the side of your head press against her soft chest, focusing on the steady rise and fall of it and the buh dumbs of her heartbeat, you usually fall asleep quickly like this.

older gf!caitlyn knows how draining it is to be in college. you get so focused on your education by sainting grades or completing assignments, not to mention the exams. so, she's always doing her best to help you out and make sure that you keep yourself in check rather that be mentally or physically. during hard times where you have midterms or finals or just back to back exams caitlyn will always tell you to not worry about picking up shifts at your job, she already knows you're overworking yourself by studying and doesn't want you to exhaust yourself further by working long hours. because she knows you and that if you could study then work a shift and study some more afterwards you would, but she knows that isn't healthy for you. so she always reassures you by saying that she'll support you financially for a little bit, transfer sums of money into you bank account for rent, bills, groceries, ect. it gives her peace of mind to know that she able to take a weight off your shoulders and provide for you. cait is also an insanely amazing cook and you always rave about her cooking, so she began taking a day out of her week every week to cook you some premade meals. she always comes stocked and ready on a weekend to your place with her tote full of meals to pile into your fridge. and during exam season it became pretty common for you to send time at hers for a few days. she does it to watch over you to make sure you're not running on fumes, but you like to think of her as a built in study buddy for reviews. during these days cait will come home from work to most likely find you at the dinning table studying, she'll kiss you on your forehead, and she'll head straight to the kitchen to cook dinner. as much as you dread exam season you don't dread spending this time with cait, there's just something so inherently domestic about cait providing for you. coming home and cooking dinner for the both of you, it makes your mind go numb. and it makes her feel successful when at night when she drags you to bed and for her to wake up to begin getting ready for work that you're still in bed soundly sleeping and that you didn't sneak off somewhere to study.

"dinner's ready." caitlyn chims, poking her head into the dinning room where you sit.

you lift your head up from your notes to eye her. sniffing the aroma around you. "chicken alfredo?"

"hm. you said something about craving it last week, so when i went shopping i picked up the ingredients."

"you're so sweet, cait." you hum, watching as she exits back into the kitchen. you prop your elbow up the table to rest your head in your hand, eyes flicking back down to your notes. you needed to understand—no—absorb this material into your brain for your exam coming up in a few days. listing off multiple curses within your head for taking this course and major and your professor for being a difficult teacher.

there's crinkling of sheets of paper around you. cait's suddenly bending across the table to organize the scattered papers in her hands. "c'mon, love. you can study a little more later."

fixing your gaze back up causing your eyebrows to raise, dumbfounded as you watched her. releasing your head from your hand to reach it out for the papers. "but—"

"but?" her tone is questioning and harsh. blue eyes narrowing at you.

"just a few more minutes, please, baby. i almost have this down."

you watching her graceful figure walk to the edge of the table where the rest of your materials lie and she places the stack down. she stands tall, placing a hand on her hips. "you can always study some more afterwards," she begins to walk over towards where you sit. "your notes aren't going to miraculously grow legs and run away, love. they'll be here." she assures. you blink and look back down at the notes in front of you, then back up at caitlyn. and for the first time you notice her attire, her hairs in a messy ponytail, still in her work attire but she's discarded her blouse and is only in her under tank top and slacks, she too has has had a long day.

"okay." you agree.

caitlyn smiles, showing off her toothy grin and her front gap you adore. she takes the material in front of you and places it with the rest.

"we're eating at the island. i have a sneaky feeling your cute bum has been sat on that chair all day." she teases.

you stand, bones cracking. your eyes shoot straight to look at cait, the both of you bursting into laughter. the noise proving her suspicions correct.

she sways back towards you, "come before the food gets cold." she muffles out, taming her laughter.

beelining to the kitchen island you sit back down, but now on a high top chair. lifting yourself up by your hands on the counter to eye the dish of chicken alfredo on the other side of the counter.

"looks s'yummy, cait."

"hope it is."

"always is" you correct.

watching as she stands on the other side, empty plate in hand with tongs in the other, dishing up some pasta and chicken.

"good?"

you eye the plate, "hm" you nod.

she heads behind her to the stove where steamed broccoli lies, piling some onto you plate. opening a drawer next to the stove, grabbing a fork and slamming it shut with her hip. she turns around and walks around the island. the clank of the plate landing on the counter, placing the fork down next to it.

"dig in, darling." pressing a kiss into your hair before going to fix her plate.

she takes care of you in softer domestic ways. such as taking off your makeup for you after a long day or a night out with friends. bathing you and carefully washing over you in the shower. washing your hair, even going as far to learn the type of products you use and buying spares for her place so she's always stocked if you happen to spend days at her place and it's a wash day. she even learns how to care for you hair type if you have curly hair, hearing you complain endlessly about the process of washing and styling it, so she'd take it upon herself to observe you and learn so that way she can help and maybe even completely take over the process to give your poor arms a break. a certain domestic thing she does is call her place home. not just her home but your home too. whenever you're spending the night and the two of you out she'll always say "alright, let's head home, love." at the end of it. and it never fails to make your heart skip a beat that she views her space as your guys's collective space. she makes it knows that she's ready for you to move in whenever you feel most comfortable, and the day that you announce that you're ready to live together she is beaming.

࣪ ˖ NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

a subtle way she asserts dominance is maintaining eye contact with you. she relishes in being able to make you flustered from simple eye contact, watching you get all fidgety and stumble over your words. but it's also her silent cue whenever you're acting out in public. a tilt of her head, dark gaze, heavy lids and a narrowed eyes will usually set you in place.

caitlyn knew a lot about herself before she met you, she kept a list of all things she liked and didn't like, and those things rarely changed. but what she didn't know is that she'd find being called mommy so attractive. she knows she can be assertive and demanding at times, always the one with the plan. she was even deemed the "mom friend" when she was younger, but not once in any of her other relationships had anyone called her mommy. and maybe it's because she's never dated anyone, before you, with a large age gap. but the first time the word escaped between your sweet lips it was when cait had you ass up with your head down, drooling into the pillow. she was fucking you at a particular angle with her cock that caused you to go dumb and roll your eyes out. you didn't even realize you muttered it out, you were too far gone, but of course caitlyn would hear it, she hears everything. her hips stilling. "what was that?" you barely heard her question, only worrying about the fact that she stopped fucking you, pressing your hips back to gain her attention to begin thrusting again. "please—mommy." oh. she liked that.

older gf!caitlyn expects nothing but the best behavior of her sweet darling. she finds it intolerable and disrespectful when you decide to be a brat and act out, and when you take it further and push her past her warnings? she's seething. but two can play that game.

cait lets out a laugh along with her friends. the two of you were where at this restaurant for hours now. you didn't mind your girlfriend's friends, you loved and enjoyed their company. but you didn't expect to be here for this long and it's getting antagonizing having to sit and pretend like your understanding anything any of them are saying, especially when cait looks like that, blue hair flowing down her back, dainty silver jewelry decorating her body, in that black silk dress the one with the modest (you don't think do) slit. you begged her to cancel the moment you saw her, but she persisted, and now you're suffering.

she's even been uptight today, shutting down your sly advances, saying something about acting out and wanting to enjoy a night with her friends in a long time when the two of you took a bathroom break. the bathroom break had backfired too, you prosed the question about going to the bathroom hoping she'd shuffle you into a stall and finger you, but that was a bust.

when you peak down to look at the time on your phone you catch something interesting from the corner of your eye. caitlyn's exposed thigh from the slit, her dress is bunched up a little at her waist so the amount of skin showing is more.

your nimble fingers trace down her thigh, smirking at the feel of goosebumps rising on her skin. settling your hand on her thigh, not too far low and not too high, just yet.

cait turns her head to peer down at the hand on her thigh, your pinky rubbing back and forth on the soft skin. then to your face, you flash her a smile and she does the same, pressing a quick peck to your lips before she turns her attention back to her friends. you feel as though a grey gloomy cloud was cast over you in that moment.

in a burst of inspiration you begin to inch your hand high, little by little until a few of your finger tips are dipping past the slit of that dress towards her clothed cunt.

her head instantly snaps towards you, eyes narrowed.

"what do you think you're doing?"

"i want to play." you shrug.

"and i told you not here."

"but i really want it," your gaze on caitlyn growing dark. "mommy." purring out the name so only the two of your could hear it

caitlyn's eyebrows raise in shock before they settle back down, turning her head to see her friends are still deep in conversation. her hand pulling yours from between her thighs. there isn't a harsh grip around your hand but it is tight, and with that hand she pulls you forward.

"fix your attitude and behave. maybe i'll think about touching you when we get back home."

you sit up straighter a grin forming on your face. nodding your head "m'kay." caitlyn squints her eyes at your sudden sudden change, releasing your hand.

a few moments pass by and you're already thinking of defying cait again. this time your hand finds her shoulder. you're bored so you begin to trace shapes on it, but then that gets boring so you start toying with her dress strap.

"stop that." her voice startles you.

you roll you eyes, confidently, because caitlyn isn't even looking at you.

"'m not even doing anything."

"yet." the pronunciation of the word is precise and harsh.

she turns back to you, "you're thinking of doing something. so i suggest before you do, that you don't."

"cait." you whine.

"what's going on with you, hm?"

"i told you."

"you're never this bad in public." that's true, but you've never had to wait this long for your girlfriend to touch you.

"you don't get it."

she eyes you. "no, i think i do," leaning forward her lips ghost yours. "seems as though i've spoiled you rotten which is causing you to act like a little slut in front of all my friends."

her voice dropped to an octive, enacting a reaction of chills down your body, wetness pooling between your thighs.

"be quiet or you won't cum for a week." she commands, pressing a kiss to your lips and refocusing herself.

"wha—"

suddenly caitlyn's hand dismisses the fabric of your skirt to between your thighs. fingers getting to work by rubbing at your clothes clit. you look up to see that cait now has her drink in her other hand, bringing it up to her lips to take a sip. her peripheral vision catching you and flicking her eyes to you, corking an eyebrow up at you.

as she is finished with her drink and sets it down her fingers push past your panties, spreading your legs a little wider to welcome her large hand. slow lazy circles on you clit was all you got for awhile, but it was enough to simmer your ache.

without warning cait bullies a finger into your sopping heat, causing you to let out a loud gasp. the entire table turning to you.

"are you okay?" one of her friends asks.

"yeah. you feeling alright, love?" her voice is laced in false concern. slipping another finger into your greedy cunt, observing your reaction.

you shuffle, looking around the table, then down at your empty plate. you can see cait's hand flexing as she pumps fingers in and out of you.

"uh— none of us has ordered dessert yet! it's not a dinner without dessert," you prose. "hm, right?"

the table agrees, and someone beckons the waiter over.

while everyone is occupied, caitlyn leans forward to your ear. "quick thinking, little one." she praises, watching as the waiter takes everyone's dessert orders. "order up, love."

"and what would you like?" the waiter asks.

biting down on your lip, hard. "hm, what's good?" there was an infliction on your voice from cait pressing her thumb against your clit as she fingers you.

"the molten lava cake is our most popular—"

you cut them off. "i'll take that!" a muffled moan escaped through your mouth, "hmm, sounds very delicious." hoping that saved yourself.

the waiter writes it down on their pad, turning their attention to caitlyn. "and for you ma'am?"

"oh, her and i will share." she confirms.

as the waiter walks off your head turns to cait, glossy eyes boring into her cold blue eyes. "cait—"

"i know" she shushes, she already knows you're close by the way you're desperate sucking her fingers back in. you're not sure if it's all in your head, but you swear cait fingering you underneath the table is causing the obscene squelches from your messy cunt to reverb and echo through the restaurant. to combat the noise you squeeze your thighs around cait's hand, but she persists.

flinging a hand down to grip at the hand between your thighs, you're so close that you don't even care if her friends caught on. not when her slender fingers that spot so deep within that only cait can reach.

just as you legs begin to shake uncontrollably, caitlyn whips her fingers from you needy cunt and between your thighs. grabbing the cloth napkin to wipe off your juices from her fingers, an icy glare is sent your way as she sets it back down, one that tells you everything.

brats don't get to cum.

going back to spooning with caitlyn, she also loves to place you in her lap while the two of you watch tv. your head in the crook of her shoulder and a hand of hers in your hair, playing with it. until suddenly when she was innocently twirling a piece of your hair you'll feel a tug at it, causing you to gasp unexpectedly. or she'll get straight to it, so a her hand will find its way on the nape of your neck, slim fingers threading themselves through the underside of your hair before she yanks, now this will cause you to moan out, head falling back so she's cradling it in her hand. wet lips finding their way to your exposed neck, kissing and nipping away at the sensitive skin. you'll whine out, only for cait to shh you, "let me have my fun, love."

there's something intoxicating about you being naked while caitlyn is completely clothed. the contrast between your crumbling figure and her composure. she also loves seeing how your sensitive body reacts to the feeling of her clothes on your body. her favorite is to press her clothed chest to your bare one while the two of you are messily making out, your nipples immediately hardening. even the way she can feel your slick soaking through her slack covered thigh, tainting the material. it drives her insane when she makes you squirt, your juices all over her button up making the material darker.

when you're particularly needy and need something to shut you up she'll shove a few fingers in your mouth, watching the way your eyelids drop and you focus on sucking on her fingers. on other occasions she'll order you on your knees, grabbing a cushion for them. and she'll strip slowly and teasingly for you.

you watch her hips sway, raking in her naked body. her blue bush in your face and you feel drool pool into your mouth, gulping. a hand comes to your chin, pushing your head up to look up at her.

"you've been needy," she begins. "but, you've also been good. so i was thinking of putting your neediness to use, i want your mouth."

nodding your head aggressively, eyes dropping back down.

"words."

a hand still on your chin tips your head, peering up with wide doe eyes, cait's expression is cold as she stands over you. "yes, use me mommy, please."

her face relaxes and she smiles down at you, "good girl." your chin is released and her hand smooths over the back of your head, pushing it forward.

taking her clit in your mouth, you moan into her. lapping her up, you free your hands from your lap, placing them on her hips to burry yourself further between her pretty thighs. eyes fluttering shut, savoring the taste of the woman standing above you.

"ah, that's it. s'good." cait's noises of pleasure sounds like music to your ears. opening your eyes to view up her body, she truly is a stallion. her eyes are shut, her shirt long discarded on the floor as she toys with one of her breast, her hand still on your head keeping you pressed up close to her, and her mouth is agape.

your wet muscle working away at her, gliding through her sticky folds. slurping up all her arousal, not wasting a drop.

"so—" she begins. but gasp when you take her clit and suck on it. "shit. so," she gasp again, "so eager to please."

nodding into her, not wanting to let up. releasing a moan into her, causing the grasp in your hair to tighten.

"c'mon, love. make me cum," doe eyes staring back into her drowsy eyes as she lazily talks. "make mommy cum."

caitlyn addressing herself as mommy made you clench your thighs, the ache between your thighs becoming very apparent.

your pushed so far into her that your nose is up against her bush, her scent only enhancing your eagerness.

cait begin to slightly rock back and forth in your mouth maneuvering your head so she's practical long dragging her cunt against your face. your finger nails grip into her hips, adding to her movements. her juices dripping down your chin to dip down your neck.

"fuck!" she yelps, her sweet release washing over her shuttering body and you quickly slurp it up.

the grip in your hair releases. when your satisfied you let up, but quickly you place a kiss upon cait's clit, letting up with a mwah. a shiny sheen covering the bottom half of your face, even the tip of your nose.

cait's hand finds it's way on your face once again, but it cradles you jaw this time, thumb swiping over your plump, slick cover lips.

"my baby always knows how to care of me, doesn't she?" she purs, droopy eyes sparkling down at you with a dazzling smile to match.

whenever cait is strapping you she prefers to be gentle with you. it'll take a lot of begging and or pressing your luck to get her to be really rough with you (like the first time you ever called her mommy). she also just prefers it. she likes taking it slow with you whenever she fucks you with her cock, in missionary so she's able to see your twisted up face from pleasure. she's also just a plain sucker for intimacy, the two of you so close that you're not even sharing space the space you two take up is its own completely new thing. everything of the outside world just washes away, and she gets to focus on you and only you. she loves being able to look you in your eye and dip her head in the crook of your neck to litter kisses and love bites across it and down your collarbones to your tits. and she really loves when you cum, your back arching off the bed your chest pressing further into hers, your head falling back, mouth agape and releasing pretty moans and whines of your climax, even your toes curling and uncurling. she eats it up. she loves it. she loves you.

#𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 alice writes.#caitlynྀི txt.#۶ৎ older gf!caitlyn.#arcane #arcane x reader #arcane x you #arcane fluff #arcane smut #caitlyn kiramman #caitlyn arcane #caitlyn kiramman x reader #caitlyn kiramman x you #caitlyn kiramman fluff #caitlyn kiramman smut #lesbian #wlw

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cerisereids · 2 days ago

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lil spicy blurb based off of this post from @parfaitblogs

warnings- 18+ mdni nsfw I don’t play, s1 spencer, girly!plussize!reader, she/her pronouns, no race descriptors, steamy make out session, dry humping, spencer moans™️, not proofread

a/n- dividers by @bohnerrific69! i was horny when i wrote this i guess bon appetit

“The psychology behind attraction is really fascinating,” Spencer Reid stutters out as you scoot closer to him along the edge of his bed, ever so slightly. How you got here, with Spencer Reid of all people, is baffling, but the gentle thrum through your lower belly spurs you further. Your wrists lock gingerly behind your coworker’s neck, as you bat your eyelashes up at him, “yeah?” you ask voice sweet as honey. You’re not at all interested as you inch just a bit closer.

Spencer swallows anxiously, his right hand resting delicately on your arm, “y-yeah, actually studies show that the brain releases dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin when people are physically close or intimate-“ your finger presses lightly into the plush of his pink lips, your gaze so charged that the electricity vibrates between the two of you.

“Spencer,” you whisper, “do you want this?”

He nods slightly, your finger still atop his lips. You lower it as you whisper once more, “then maybe we can stop talking about being close and intimate and just…do it?”

His eyes widen, as if he was shocked you’d want him like that. “R-really?” he squeaks, “with me? Y-you don’t have to, I understand if…” he continues to ramble off reason after reason why it would be okay if you don’t want to kiss him. You don’t think there will ever be a time in which you wouldn’t want to kiss him. And so you do.

Spencer’s lips press gently back into yours. It’s an innocent enough kiss to start, your lips meeting delicately, in an almost hesitant exploration of each other. The pit of your belly hums at the contact, and you take the next leap, scooting even closer on the edge of Spencer’s bed, His large hands shakily rise to hug your plush waist, thumbs gently stroking the dips and curves of your body. You hum lightly against his lips, opening your mouth slightly to capture his, deepening the kiss. His hands drop to your thighs, on display now thanks to your floral chiffon dress bunching up around the upper thigh. He rests his forehead against yours, panting heavily. Each warm exhale hits your lips, and your hands delicately cradle his face, your heart pounding against your chest. His eyes face downward, directly at your thighs, the way they mold under his squeezes and caresses. His breath picks up at the sight, and you can hear his own erratic heartbeat mix with yours, his cheeks painted with the cutest flushed tint.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers against your lips, his swollen ones ghosting over yours, tantalizing, teasing. Your cheeks burn with want as his face buries itself in your neck, placing gentle pressure the spot where your neck meets your shoulder.

“Oh,” you choke out, and Spencer clings to you, his arms traveling up your back to settle at the base of your neck, holding you close.

“There’s also many studies…” he huffs out between breaths, “on pheromones and what they can do to the human subconscious-“

“Spencer,” you nearly moan out, pulling him out from your neck, gripping smashing your lips to his once more. His lips are plump and soft as they move against yours, your heart racing with a burning sensation you’ve never felt with anyone else. He chokes out a moan of his own against your lips, and you swing both of your legs to rest on each side of his thighs, plopping your plush ass down onto his thighs.

His mouth drops open and he nearly whines at the contact. His hands sink into your soft skin as he pulls you closer, dragging your most sensitive parts against the strained fabric of his jeans. “Oh my God,” he groans through gritted teeth, his eyes squeezing shut as he continues to nearly devour your mouth. Your tongues graze ever so slightly as his mouth opens further, taking as much of you as he possibly can.

You rock your hips back and forth some more, as the ever growing burn in the pit of your stomach grows with the friction. The whimpers and moans that bounce off of his mouth into yours make your back arch as you press against him even harder, desperate to share as many inches of yourself as possible. A small string of spit connects your mouths as you break apart and kiss, and break apart and kiss. You begin to place small pecks to his lips, catching his big, brown, puppy dog eyes looking back at you, a haze of desire clouding his gaze. Your forehead rests against his as you take each other in, hearts pounding against each other, pants mixing.

“Can we do this all night?” Spencer breathes against your lips, tone innocent enough, but his eyes shone with a glint of rebellion that had you flopping backward onto his bed, pulling him on top of you.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid criminal minds #doctor spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fan fiction #spencer reid smut #dr spencer reid #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x plus size reader

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yamumsyadadd · 3 days ago

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the forgotten girl (3)

posted this originally on my old account. will be posting twice weekly :)

“Alexia, can you come to my office please?” Jona asked. Usually he never asks, opting to talk in the open, and considering it’s the end of the day this is serious.

“What’s up?”

“As you’re aware, Amelia Higgins is in Barcelona. I have spoken to both her and her manager, she has expressed interest in joining. She will not be joining in an official capacity until the transfer window, however she will be doing individual training here. Irene is aware, but since you’re also captain, I am asking you to please help her. I know you used to be friends, but please don’t let the others know.”

“Oh. Yeah sure. When will she be here?”

“Tomorrow.”

As the morning rolled around, Alexia made her usual stop at the bench. Expect this time you weren’t surfing. Instead you were sitting on the sand with two coffees.

“Care to join this time?”

Silence encapsulated us. It wasn’t uncomfortable silence, just silence.

“I see you run every morning.”

“I see you surf every morning.”

“Helps gets my mind off things. I feel free out there, like nothing bad can happen.”

“Jona spoke to me last night. You’re coming back?”

“Not sure yet. I haven’t touched a ball or a football pitch in 3 years. Just want to see if I can do it. Keira told me I owed it to myself to try again.”

“She yelled at the girls in the locker room last week. They were talking about you and she yelled. It scared them.”

“Keira yelling isn’t good. She’s worried.”

“She’s not the only one Mil.”

“I better go. Keep an eye on her for me, yeah?”

As I walked back to my very white and plain apartment, my mind couldn’t help but wonder to the what ifs. Not the “what if she didn’t die” but the “what if I never stopped playing”. Keira was right, I had to try again.

Determined, I walked into the Barca training grounds. Officially I wasn’t a player, so I was just dressed in my black Nike workout clothes. Jona greeted me at the entrance and gave me the tour before the team arrived. Keira would be having lunch with me today, in an empty conference room away from the team.

The first fitness test wasn’t particularly hard, luckily I’d been running and keeping up my overall fitness, after lunch would be the real test. I got a little lost finding the conference room and accidentally ran smack bang into Claudia Pina. She had a very guilty look on her face.

“Oh my! I’m so sorry. I’m looking for Keira and conference room 6? I’m really lost.”

“No please it’s my fault! I can help you. What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t play anymore?”

“Just here to have lunch with Keira. That’s all. Thanks so much for your help Claudia. Have a good day!”

“What was that?” An amused Keira said.

“I was lost and I literally ran into her. She helped me find you. Nothing more.”

“She’s cute no?”

“Keira.” She took the hint with warning tone. Dropping it there. The final hurdle of the day: actually walking on the pitch. Most of the girls had already left, only a few stayed. I could see Alexia, Claudia, Keira and Lucy sitting at the far end of the pitch. All I had to do was walk. A motion that I do everyday without any problem. Yet, right now, I was stuck.

“She’s scared. We should go over there.”

“No Kei. We need to wait. She needs to do this herself.” Alexia agreed with Lucy. She admired Keira for wanting to help her friend, but this isn’t something they could help with. At least they thought that until Claudia had ran over without them noticing.

“Hey! We can just kick the ball here. One step at a time, right?”

“On the concert? You’ll ruin your boots Claudia. It’s fine, I can try again tomorrow.” Without a second thought, Claudia stripped her boots, tossing them to the side.

“No boots, no problem.”

She proceeded to kick the ball to me. Easily, I returned it. Second nature. We kept doing simple passes on the concrete for the next 15 minutes until the physios ended it there.

“One step at a time remember.” I high fived the smiling girl. Soon enough, the other 3 joined. Looking proud as punch. It was an overwhelming feeling, having so many people in my corner, being proud over something I’ve done a million times.

As the days turned into weeks, my confidence grew. Finally being able to step foot on the grass and confidently kick a ball. My friendship with Olga also grew. It was nice to have someone who pretended not to know what I’ve gone through, and to have someone outside of football.

Claudia became a very good friend to me. Often staying behind or coming in early so she could train with me. We’d get coffee on the days off and I was slowly teaching her how to surf. She refused to get into the water during the winter so it was practicing as much as possible on the sand.

“I know you want to know. It’s okay to ask questions.”

“Keira and Alexia told me not too.”

“Do you always listen to everything they tell you to do?”

“Not usually. But alexia is scary and Keira, man she’s even scarier. She yelled at us when we were talking about you after we saw you at Manuela’s.”

“Keira is scary because she doesn’t get mad often. But you know what, I won’t tell them if you don’t. So go ahead and ask.”

“Why’d you quit?” She said it so quickly, afraid I’d change my mind.

I ponded the answer for a moment, “i define my life in three stages, there was before Emily, during Emily and after. Before and during, I loved football. Lived and breathed it. It gave me Keira and Leah, a way to escape the foster homes and create a new family. And of course it gave me Emily. After Emily, I was empty. I didn’t love football anymore. I didn’t love anything. I did what I know best and I ran. I left England, left the house we lived in, I just left. I realised that I couldn’t do it again. I couldn’t win medals or awards without her.”

“And now? What’s changed?”

“Honestly, after running into you lot, I felt like I was missing something. I went to an open training that was held and I missed the way the ball felt at my feet, or the way it felt to run on grass in cleats. So I rang my manager and told her to ask them and here we are.”

“Are you scared? You were the best. Are you scared it won’t be like that again?”

“Scared shitless. I don’t want to be the best, I don’t want to accolades or the awards, I just want to play like I used to.”

“Like before Emily.”

“Exactly”

“What about you and Ale? She looks at you with the softest eyes. I’ve only ever seen her look at Olga like that.”

“There wasn’t a me and Alexia. We were friends. Both going through the ranks at the same time, just for different countries. It was an unlikely friendship of sorts. She comes from a loving, soft family and I come from the system. Rough and ragged around the edges. After the funeral, I wiped myself from the face of the earth. Deleted all my social media, cancelled my phone number. Everything. I hurt a lot of people by doing that but I couldn’t stay.”

“I’m sure they understand. Keira and Lucy definitely do.”

No more questions were asked after that. Just a peaceful walk back to our cars either promises to see each other later. It was nice to talk to people. I’d gone 3 years without having a meaningful conversation with anyone and I didn’t realise how much I’d missed it.

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