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booklovingturtle · 4 years

Note

Would you perhaps help write a Jurdan pregancy hcs?? If that’s not your forte, I understand. I just love fluffy Jurdan.

I don’t usually do pregnancy hcs but I love Jurdan fluff and I’ll write anything for a request! This actually turned into a rather long fic bc I ended up really enjoying it which means thank you to whoever suggested it!

Jude stumbled from bed, pushing the covers off of her slick body. She felt as if her life had been slowly drained from her for the third day in a row. Her feet tripped over themselves and she made it to the bathing chamber just in time to lose her dinner from the day before. Jude felt her stomach contract violently. She felt dizzy from having stood and ran so quickly and was clutching the rim of the waste bin. The door, which she had been too disoriented to shut all the way, pushed opened. The High Queen heard her husband’s footsteps enter her bathing chamber.

“What…the hell…,” Jude groaned into the circle of her arms. She felt a gentle hand rub circles down the length of her spine.

“Jude dear,” Cardan’s voice was gentle as he tried to pull her chestnut hair back for her. His concern was palpable in the way he hovered over her. “I think we should call a healer. This is the third night in a row you’ve jumped out of bed like this.”

Jude tried to relax the chills that racked her muscles. Judging by the two nights before, her body aches would calm down after a few minutes. Cardan pulled her against the heat of his body. Her back was pressed against his chest and he took her hands in his.

“I’ve been poisoned.” Jude reasoned.

Cardan’s laugh vibrated through her. “Or maybe it’s a cold. I hear humans get them quite frequently during the turn of the seasons.”

Jude shook her head. “I have an incredible immune system, Cardan. I’m offended that you would accuse me of not being able to handle a common cold.”

His tail tickled her ankles as it curled around the exposed skin. “I would never call you weak,” his words were light but the tension in his body told Jude he wasn’t in a joking mood. “I just don’t think it’s poison and if you say it’s not a cold then you must be seriously ill.”

Jude released a heavy breath. Her brain had finally woken up enough to filter through all the poisons that could be eating at her health without her realizing. She didn’t have a fever or cough so she doubted it was a cold. Jude’s breath caught in her throat as she realized what else it could be. The High Queen took a mental tally of her last cycle. Tatterfell had discovered a new tonic that would lighten the burden of her cycles. There was no way to be sure if her late period was thanks to the Faerie tonic or…

“Cardan,” her voice cracked.

“Yes?” He kissed her temple.

“Can you call for Taryn? She caught a cold like this a few months ago. I want to know if her symptoms matched mine,” the lie came out easily. Guilt ate at her.

It had been years since Jude had lied to her husband. They had worked so hard to turn their complicated relationship into one that thrived on love and trust. It was hard in the beginning but after ten years of being married to Cardan, Jude could trust that when he spoke, it was never laced with deceit. Just as he could trust that she’d never use her mortal ability to trick him ever again.

This lie, however, felt different. If her worries were correct then she’d come clean soon enough. If she was wrong then there was no need to confuse Cardan with the possibility of something that may not even be real.

Cardan agreed to call for Taryn and Jude took that time to clean herself up a bit. Once she felt presentable, she made her way back to bed. The High King also rang for a healer, not wanting to risk anything worsening.

The minutes slowly passed as Jude waited for her sister. Cardan continued to run his hands through her hair as they waited. He was a silent, steady presence behind her. A loud knock burst through their room and he called for the servant to enter. Behind the nymph trailed a concerned looking Taryn and a bored court healer.

Cardan excused himself from the room as Jude talked to her sister. Taryn’s eyes widened as her twin described her symptoms.

“Jude!” She exclaimed in joy.

“Quiet down, Taryn! I don’t want anyone to get suspicious before it’s confirmed.” She glared at her sister. The High Queen turned her eyes to the healer. “What do you think?”

The healer’s sharp eyes ran down the length of her body. “Have you experienced any unusual weight gain?”

Jude couldn’t answer with certainty. She was a warrior before she was a monarch. Her body had fluctuated in weight after numerous changes in diet, training, and not to mention torture. She had noticed her armor fitting a little tighter in areas it hadn’t usually bothered her.

“Yes, I think so.”

The healer motioned for her to lay down. She spoke quiet words in an ancient language. Jude shivered as the Fae placed a withered hand on her stomach. The words whispered of life and seemed to echo in the large bedroom. The healer’s eyes closed for a second as she waited to hear the response.

“It’s true, Your Majesty. You are with child.”

Jude’s limbs froze. Taryn squealed through her hands. The healer stood unmoving.

“I-I’m pregnant?” she looked down at her stomach in disbelief.

The healer nodded. “You and your sister are twins.”

Jude’s eyes jumped to the Faerie again. “Yes. Why?”

The healer gestured again but this time to tell the Queen to sit up. “It’s still too early to tell but there is a chance that you could carry more than one.”

A shocked laugh escaped Jude as she stared at her sister. She looked back at the healer and thanked her for her service. The creature nodded a goodbye. Taryn bobbed up and down, looking with undiluted happiness at her twin.

“Jude! Congratulations! Vivi’s going to be so jealous when she finds out that I got to be here.”

“Taryn, what the hell am I going to do? I don’t know how to be a mom. I can’t-I don’t…” Jude words cut off and her face flushed with tears she hadn’t realized were building.

Taryn looked surprised by Jude reaction. To her credit, she didn’t hesitate to take a seat on the edge of the bed. “Jude. Listen to me. You are High Queen of Elfhame. You’ve been kidnapped, poisoned, stabbed, beaten, and tortured. You’ve stood against enemies older than most human civilizations. You are Jude Duarte. You will handle this like you’ve handled every other situation that has been thrown at you…or well, like every other situation that you’ve blindly out yourself in!”

Jude shook her head. “I’ve stabbed my way through most of those situations. I can’t exactly stab an infant, Taryn.”

Her sister scoffed. “Believe me, Jude, if I could make it through my pregnancy and learn the ropes of motherhood given everything that was happening around us, you can as well.”

Jude chewed over the thought, realizing Taryn was right. When Taryn’s first child was born, she was recently-widowed and Elfhame’s monarchy was still new to the land. Right now they were in a time of peace with no imminent threat to the kingdom. Plus Jude had her sister’s previous experience to learn from. And Cardan.

“Cardan!” Jude started. “I have to tell him.”

Taryn jumped from the bed. “Oh! You have to let me know how he reacts!”

Jude wiped a stray tear from her cheek and nodded. “Thank you, Taryn.”

Her sister gave her a sweet smile. “I hope he faints,” she giggled and turned to leave.

Not two seconds later, Cardan strode into the room. He took one look at Jude’s pale face and stopped in his tracks.

“What is it?” He sounded anxious.

Jude stood, meeting him halfway in the room. The High King intertwined his fingers with his wife’s. He leaned forward so that his brow met hers. She took a deep breath and steeled herself to say the words.

“Cardan…I’m pregnant.”

He jerked back, but kept his hands in hers. “You’re-you’re what?”

“I’m pregnant,” She repeated the words, not fully believing them even as they left her mouth.

His dark eyes were wide as he stared down at her. “You’re carrying our child,” wonder filled his voice. “I’m going to be a father?”

“There’s no guarentee that you’re the father but-” she broke off with a wicked smile.

Cardan laughed, a silver shine glittering in his eyes. His smile was blindingly bright as he said, “I’m going to be a father!”

Jude nodded, once again surprised by the tears that welled in her own eyes. “You’re happy about the news?”

Her husband gave her a look of disbelief. “Jude, I’m more than happy.”

“But we never talked about children. Never made plans.”

“That’s because I was afraid. Some Faeries go decades without reproducing and we’ve always been aware of the fact that won’t have decades to wait. It felt selfish to ask you to spend all that time working towards a family that we wouldn’t have gotten. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

Jude ran a finger along his sharp jawline. “You could never disappoint me, Cardan. I love you. Child or no child. We would have found a way to make our own family if that’s what we wanted.”

The High King didn’t bother to wipe the tears of joy from his cheeks. He grabbed Jude’s waist and ran a hand across the front of her stomach. “This is going to be most beautiful child Elfhame as ever seen. How could it not be? With me as it’s father.”

The Queen used her thumbs to brush away Cardan’s tears. “That’s assuming you’re the father.”

His laugh filled the room. Cardan’s smiling lips met hers. Jude melted into a kiss that left her soul singing. His fingers tickled the curves of her waist. Jude pressed herself hard against him, wanting to feel every part of him. Cardan held himself back.

“Careful, I don’t want to squish our little bean.”

Jude rolled her eyes. “We’re not going to squish it, Cardan.”

He shook his head. “I’m not willing to risk it.” Instead, the High King kneeled at Jude’s feet and placed a protective hand over her stomach. “I love you very much, my little bean.”

“Cardan!” Jude groaned. “Stop calling it that.”

He looked up at her through innocent eyes that were framed with beautiful lashes. “Little Bean,” he said thoughtfully. “I like it.” He looked back at her stomach and pulled up her shirt. Cardan kissed right above her naval. “I’m going to do everything in my power to protect you, Little Bean.”

Jude’s chest tightened at the fierceness in his voice. She ran a hand through his unkempt curls.

“I didn’t have a family who fought for me. But I will fight for you. Every day of my life, Little Bean.”

A lump formed in Jude’s throat and she had to push back yet another wave of tears. Apparently, this pregnancy was going to turn her into a crier. She was not excited for that.

“I’m sure Little Bean can hear you,” the gentleness in Jude’s tone was new to her. “You’re going to be a great father, Cardan.” She could already see the wave of fears that were dancing around her husband’s head.

He didn’t meet her gaze so Jude knelt down to look him in the eyes. “This Little Bean is going to be loved and protected in all the ways we weren’t. We’re going to make sure of it.” She pulled her husband into a tight embrace. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he repeated. He let himself hold his wife tightly for a few lingering moments.

“But I love Little Bean more now so please stop trying to squish it.”

#booklovingturtle writes #holly black #the cruel prince #the wicked king #queen of nothing #tcp #twk #qon #jude duarte #prince cardan #cardan greenbriar #high king cardan #high queen jude #high queen of elfhame #high king of elfhame #The Folk of the Air #jurdan #jurdan fluff

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breaniebree · 3 years

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12, 13, 17, 19, 36, 59, 84 for new asks please!

Hi, Anon!

Thanks for asking! Love that there were so many!

12. Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

Hmm... I think this changes depending on my mood. Lately it's been Tonks and Remus. I love writing their domestic bliss as well as Tonks being a badass Auror. I've been having fun with them. But usually I really love writing the Weasleys, particularly the brothers views on Ginny. I find them so fun, giving them each their own personality and Ron deserves so much love. He's just so awesome!

13. Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

Crouch. He's disturbing and disgusting, but that's how he appears to me and I can't change him or his gross ways. Also, I really hate writing from Draco's POV because I find him difficult and a bit of an enigma. I believe him to be an asshole, but very kind and attentive to those whom he deems worthy which makes him a contradiction to write sometimes.

17. Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

“Mum, we don’t know what happened. Everyone could be okay,” Ginny said, trying to keep her voice strong.

Molly merely held Ginny tighter as they stood there and waited for news.

19. Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

Hmm... I feel like everything I've written has more or less been completed at the end. Though I suppose I would like to write more of my Missing Moments one-shots, but I just haven't been inspired to do so as I've been so busy with A Second Chance. I do sometimes feel like I will need a sequel to ASC just to cover after the war, but we'll see ❤️

36. Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

Hmm, lots of spoilers here LOL. Um, yes, I can, the line (which I gave you 3 of) is from the last chapter I completed. The bit I am currently working on...

...and a flash of purple before he found himself flying through the air.

He grunted as he landed on his side, his ears ringing. His hand moved to his head, finding blood and he coughed as the room began to come into focus once more.

Grey smoke filled the chamber as purple flames erupted from the left side of the room. He blinked in confusion as the purple human torch disintegrated with a bang and a second rumble shook the chamber. Marble and stone collapsed as the flames shot out like long tendrils, stretching to reach everything in sight.

59. Which character(s) do you find the most difficult to write?

Most difficult for me tends to be Luna. I love her and I love her quirkiness, but I always find writing her is hard. I'm always worried I don't get her tone right, or her personality, or I take her a step too far or not far enough. Whenever I have her in a scene, I find myself second guessing everything I write and it's rather stressful to be honest LOL.

84. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

An excerpt I'm particularly fond of... I think I've said it before that this changes a lot depending on my mood, but lately I think it's the opening of my story ASC

They were dead.

They were both dead and it was all his fault.

He didn’t cry. He had no tears left in him to cry. He didn’t rage; he’d spent weeks doing just that, slamming his fists into the stones until his knuckles had bled; until his fingers were broken, but the pain never fazed him. He ate mechanically as the healer fixed his hands and the next day, he’d punched the stone all over again and again trying to feel something … anything.

He screamed. He shouted that he was innocent. He threatened to kill his former best friend, his brother. But it was for nothing.

It was all for nothing.

He was the one who had been betrayed; the spy who wasn’t; he was guilty in the eyes of the world and nothing he could say was going to change that.

And no one was listening anyway.

At first he thought that at least he would come. His best friend; the one who he had trusted most outside of the one who was his blood brother. The one who he had kept secrets for; the one who was so thankful and confused as to why they even called him friend, called him brother in the first place.

But he never came.

He too thought he was guilty; that he was just like the family that he had tried so hard to run from.

The days turned into weeks which turned into months. He paced; he ran on the spot; he spent hours doing push-ups and sit-ups; contemplated making a noose with his thin shabby sheet and just ending it until the rage consumed him once more. He was not going to take his own life; not while he was out there, the truly guilty party. The spy. The one that he had once called friend and brother.

The months dragged into that first year and his thin hold on his own sanity started to slip away from him as he counted the days, digging the rock into the stone to tally his sentence.

On his twenty-third birthday, he spent the day in fitful dreams; memories of the woman that he had called mother holding her wand above him and telling him how worthless he was; how spineless and unworthy he was to be in the Most Ancient and Noble House. He relived the feel of the torture curse, seeing his mother holding the wand; relived the pain of the belt that his father struck across his back and when he heard his own screams echoing in the stone cell — he clawed at the stone until his nails bled.

By the second year, he forced himself to transform the moment the memories came to the surface. He forced himself to think of happy thoughts, but he couldn’t remember any. Had he ever been happy? He was innocent. It wasn’t a happy thought, but it wasn’t a miserable thought either so they couldn’t take it away from him. He hadn’t murdered those people, true. But could he really be considered innocent?

It was his fault that they were dead; his decision; his stupid mistake.

He was innocent.

He was guilty.

He was innocent.

He was guilty.

He paced the cell back and forth as far as the chains would allow him; back and forth, marking the days each morning when he woke. He slept as a dog; woke to eat the gruel that they called porridge; one hour of push-ups; one hour of sit-ups, keep the body disciplined, keep the mind sane, he told himself repeatedly. He’d nap as a dog; wake to eat the gruel that they called stew and as the first wave of unhappy memories would unfold into his system, he’d transform and whimper in the corner.

By the third year, he had his routine down to a science. No one spoke to him. The healer came to check on him once a month; let him wash with a bowl of lukewarm water and a clean cloth. The healer never spoke and the soul-sucking creatures hovered as the healer trembled, waiting for him to finish so that he could leave. The moment that the healer was gone, he became a dog once more.

When he started his count into year four, he knew that he would die alone in this very cell. No one would ever discover that his old friend had been the real one to betray them; the real one to trick those who cared for him.

No one would ever know his story.

“Sirius?”

The voice sounded foreign, almost too far away. He recognized the Scottish burr, but he couldn’t place it. No one had spoken to him in four years, six months, and seventeen days. Was that his name? His head pounded, but for the first time all day it was clear, telling him that the soul sucking creatures had distanced themselves, at least partially, from his cell.

“Sirius Black?”

The hesitation in the voice now got his attention and he realized that it wasn’t a memory; someone was actually speaking to him.

Someone was outside of his cell.

He moved towards the bars, long thin fingers gripping the iron and his grey eyes bruised around the edges meeting the square beady brown eyes that he recognized so well and his heart stopped at the sight of them.

“Minnie?” he whispered hoarsely, the old nickname slipping out before he consciously thought about it.

The brown eyes rolled in exaggeration at him and for the first time in four years, six months, and seventeen days — he felt a bubble of laughter rising in his throat.

“Sirius,” she said softly, reaching to hold his ice cold hands where they clutched the iron bars tightly. “You remember me? I was worried that I might have been too late. The healer said… never mind. You know me.”

He shook his head, clearing the cobwebs that lingered there. “Yeah,” he said roughly. “Why are you here, Professor?”

Her eyes looked sad as she gripped his hands tightly from where they were clutched around the bars. “I’m sorry that it took so long, Sirius, I’m so sorry, but you are finally getting a trial. A trial to prove your innocence.”

His dark grey eyes met hers in shock. “What?”

“I don’t believe for a moment that you betrayed James and Lily, Sirius. I never have. James was like a brother to you and you… you loved that little boy. You deserve a trial. Maybe if we can understand why you…”

Sirius snorted now, his fingers gripping hers as he realized what she was saying. “You believe that I murdered thirteen people in a crowded street, but I didn’t betray my best friends. Interesting view you have of me, Minnie, my dear.”

“Sirius,” she said again, her voice quiet and stern. “I believe that you are innocent and I have been campaigning for you to be set free from the moment that you were arrested. Finally, the Minister has taken heed of my words and agreed to give you the trial you should have been given years ago. It will be in three days time.”

Sirius squeezed her fingers gently. “I am innocent, Minnie. I would never have betrayed them, never!”

McGonagall nodded, smiling at him. “I know. I will see you in three days, Sirius. I’m rooting for you.”

As he watched her leave, he felt the darkness pressing in on him once again and he moved away from the bars, letting his back rest against the cool stone.

Four years, six months, seventeen days — but he was getting a trial.

Thanks for the asks!

#ask me anything #harry potter fanfiction

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yourdeepestfathoms · 5 years

Text

Cherry Wine

TW: Self harm

-----------------

Bessie was angry very often. Sometimes for no reason. She couldn’t explain the rage she sometimes felt- it just existed and burned and blistered all the way through her.

But sometimes the fury would often be blown out like a candle, leaving her cold with only sorrow in its absence. A tidal wave of misery crashes over her and suddenly she’s floundering around in black waters, desperate to stay afloat. Her hands grab for anything to anchor onto, but the riptide seizes her in its grasp and she’s yanked down, down, down, until her back is scraped against jagged coral reefs. Red mist hazes the diminishing light from above, but it wasn’t coming from her wounded spine.

Bessie likes to think she was smart. She always kept her wrists clean. Her stomach and thighs on the other hand...well, they were not a pretty sight to say the least. With summer coming up soon, she had to either get ready to swim in a t-shirt and shorts or get over this habit. The latter didn’t seem too likely.

Thank god she was asexual, though. And that Anna accepted that and never pushed anything because her cover would be blown the moment she took off her pants.

Her stomach and thighs were easy to hide thanks to the wonderful invention called clothing, but that had a downside, too. For starters, a lot of the frayed edges would get caught on the cloth and rub in a very uncomfortable way. Her torso and legs would also burn like they were on fire for half of the day after, but she would usually get over it by the time the show started. And she was SUPPOSED to clean the cuts after she finished, but, well...

Well, it’s a wonder she hasn’t gotten infected yet.

An itch ripples across Bessie’s body and she went rigid. Her skin prickled in a way that she couldn’t satiate with her fingernails. Bugs were crawling underneath her flesh and she HAD TO GET THEM OUT.

Her eyes popped open. The sensation of army ants marching across her muscles came so suddenly. The scalding rain from the shower she was taking was failing at scraping her raw. The steaming bullets couldn’t tunnel deep enough to soothe the infestation and the colony continued to swarm throughout her limbs.

Fingernails curl into bare, scarred thighs. Bessie hunched over from where she was sitting and tried to calm herself down. The scratchiness would go away if she just waited it out. Just resist the urge.

But she couldn’t, she couldn’t, she couldn’t.

Bessie turned the heat up and pulled her knees in close. She tangles her hands in her hair and hoped that the hot shower would be enough for her. Her skin burns, but the bugs continue to crawl. This isn’t working. She can’t flush them out.

The spigot sputters to a halt and Bessie stumbles out of the shower. The amount of steam gathered in the bathroom practically suffocates her. She coughs.

Bessie was sent reeling across her room after pulling her clothes on, desperately scrambling to grab the box cutter she hid beneath the mattress. With a click, the blade retracts and she finds herself hesitating for a moment.

Did she really want to do this? She’s been clean for two weeks. That’s really good for her, especially with her current depression spiral. She didn’t have to do this. She could put the blade down. She could ask for help. She could get a hug. She could call Anna. She could-

She could cut.

Bessie didn’t want to look at her ugly thighs and ugly stomach, so she rolls her sleeve up and brings the blade down on her shoulder, slicing open a new tally. The relief that washed over her had her shuddering in blissful agony, choking on a sob as she cut again. And again. And again.

On the inside, she was screaming. Her brain was commanding her, even though her body didn’t want to bring itself anymore harm. She couldn’t stop herself even if she wanted to.

Bessie was seriously uncoordinated during moments like this. Her shaking hands slipped up and accidentally cut into one of the older scars, breaking it back open and spilling more blood down her arm. She yowled and threw the box cutter at the wall, clutching desperately at her throbbing shoulder. She sunk to her knees, stinging tears rolling down her cheeks. Too focused on the pain and hot blood pouring over her hand, she couldn’t even register if she heard footsteps coming to her bedroom.

Aragon suddenly swung the door open, halting mid-sentence when she saw the bassist on her hands and knees, bleeding heavily from an injury she was white-knuckling. She froze and so did Bessie, and they stared at each like deer caught in headlights. Neither dared to move for a good thirty seconds, but it was the queen who snapped out of it first.

“Elizabeth!!”

Bessie attempted to evade her, but the moment she put pressure on her arm to try and scuttle away, she nearly had herself howling again. She couldn’t move and felt completely helpless in that moment.

“Elizabeth,” Aragon called out, crouching down to the girl’s side, “Bessie. Open your hand, please. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Bessie was deaf to her words. She’s relishing in the pain, weeping softly as her consciousness wavers in and out of her mind. Her nails curl into her shoulder and she sobs again.

Fingers touch her own and she flinches back, digging her nails deeper against her arm. She thought her grip was of iron, but her hand is slowly pried loose and she gasps for air. Bright red glistens on her palms. There’s too much. It wasn’t an accidental scratch like Aragon was expecting.

The queen stares in shock at the vicious scars striped across the bassist’s shoulder. Some were whited out already, others were scabbed over, a few were fresh, like the one with crimson bubbles simmering on the edges. Oh how she wished this wasn’t what it was. Maybe one of the cats was just very symmetrical? No, no. Improbable, at best.

“Oh my god, Elizabeth...” Aragon murmured. Hearing her use the Lord’s name in vain meant she really was shocked. “Here, I’ll- I’ll be right back.”

Bessie didn’t have the energy to respond. She’s swaying in her spot on the floor, watching a fleeting figure hurry out of her bedroom. Aragon was probably going to go through the bathroom, but she wasn’t able to stop her. Her eyes start to close and she puts one hand on the floor to attempt to support herself.

Aragon came back with the first-aid kit that was kept in the bathroom cabinets. Lucky find. Bessie was just going to let herself bleed until a clot formed.

“Elizabeth, can you hear me? Nod to me if you can.” Bessie did as she was asked, unable to speak. “That’s good, honey, that’s very good.”

Bessie sniffled and tilted her head down. There were multiple trails of sweet red venom dribbling lazily down her arm, and Aragon is working to wipe off the blood with a cloth. Did she really cut that much or did she hit a blood vessel?

“This is going to sting a little.”

The girl hissed and arched her spine when an antiseptic-soaked gauze is pressed to her arm. She convulses and whimpered, swatting at Aragon’s hand, but isn’t able to stop the disinfectant from flushing out her wounds. After a moment, she finds clarity in the pain and almost enjoys it.

The silence is tense. Aragon is focused on stopping the bleeding and Bessie is still out of it. Her hands quake with tremors and she paws helplessly at her carpet, which has been ruined. She was so busy being dismayed over the stains that she didn’t even feel the thumb brushing away her tears.

“Elizabeth, would you like if I called Anna?” Aragon asked gently, “Would she make you feel better?”

“N-no!”

Aragon pulled back a little and furrowed her eyebrows. She had expected the girl to agree to the idea, not decline.

“N-no,” Bessie repeated, this time softer, “Sh-she can’t know. Anna can’t know.”

Her trembling gets worse, breathing picking up. A panic attack rises in her chest and she chokes on a sob. Aragon’s eyes widen in realization and she’s quick to pull Bessie into a hug, soothingly rubbing her hand up and down her spine.

“A-A-Anna c-can’t-” Bessie coughs, “She’ll be mad. She’ll leave. She’ll leave me. I can’t- I can’t lose her, Catalina. I can’t!”

The girl yowls and whimpers and frets in Aragon’s arms, crying against her shoulder. That feeling of bugs crawling beneath her skin returns and she reaches to scratch at the cuts that had finally stopped bleeding. A hand grabs her wrist before contact could be made.

“You’re not going to hurt yourself again.” Aragon said firmly. “Just breathe, mija. Can you do that for me?”

Bessie had practiced breathing, told her girls to do it so many times, so why is it so difficult for her? Maybe because she wasn’t used to someone being with her, helping her through the panic attack. Or maybe because she was caught cutting and the shock was making her brain stop working.

She shudders and grips tightly to the back of Aragon’s shirt. Her mind is reeling and so many horrible thoughts whip around in her head. Maybe she if she just waited until Aragon left then could she continue.

But is that what she wanted?

Yes. It had to be. It’s the only thing that would make her feel better.

“Can you stand?” Aragon asked softly, “Your bed is probably a lot more comfortable than the floor.”

Bessie agreed, as the carpet was starting to get scratchy, but she didn’t trust herself that much. Still, she tried to get to her feet, but dizziness cracked against her skull like a sledgehammer and she nearly toppled back over if it wasn’t for Aragon steadying her. A newborn foal would have better balance than she did.

She felt utterly pathetic. Aragon had to help her walk a few steps to her bed because she would collapse if she tried to by herself. Now that the queen was dragged into her problems, she didn’t want her to leave. Especially since she’s seen her like this.

Aragon was surprised when Bessie turtles against her, gripping desperately for her sleeve or something to hold onto. Her hands hovered for a moment before rubbing against the girl’s back.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She felt Bessie shrink up, like a scared hedgehog brandishing its quills. She screwed her eyes shut and exhaled shakily, finally speaking up in a hoarse voice.

“I’m sorry.” She croaked.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, my darling,” Aragon said gently, brushing back some of the girl’s hair.

Bessie grimaced and pulled her head back with a jerked motion. Her eyes glanced up momentarily before going back down to her bed sheets.

“Yes, yes there is.” She said, “It’s unfair to you. You-you didn’t come here to deal with my bullshit. You came here to eat dinner and th-this-” She gestures for her reddened shoulder, “shouldn’t have been what you saw. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“No. Don’t you dare apologize, Elizabeth.” Aragon said and Bessie has never heard so much firmness in her voice before.

“But-”

“But nothing.” Aragon cut her off, “Elizabeth, being here is all I can do for you and, trust me, I wish I could do so much more than that.”

Bessie stared at her in disbelief. She didn’t understand why Aragon was being so nice to her, even though they had settled the past months ago, but the kindness was overwhelming and so, so needed.

The girl curls her fingers into her sheets, inhaling shakily and trying not to start crying all over again.

“You don’t think I’m a freak?” She asked softly.

Aragon squeezed Bessie’s forearms, coaxing her to look up and make eye contact.

“Not at all.”

The tears spilled over again and Bessie pressed her face against Aragon’s chest, muttering “thank you” over and over again. A gentle hand rubs circles against her back, soothing her until she could calm herself down.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call Anna?”

“I-I’m sure,” Bessie sniffled, rubbing her wrist against her eyes, “She can’t know about this. I told her I stopped..”

Aragon frowned deeply.

“But you didn’t.”

Shame burned across Bessie’s face and she nodded slightly. She tucked her head under Aragon’s chin, nuzzling closer like a cold kitten searching for warmth.

“Please don’t tell her. I-I will. Eventually. Just-just not right now. I’m not ready yet.”

In reality, she probably wasn’t ever going to tell Anna if she didn’t have to. She could just keep up her facade of her skin being clean of cuts. No unnecessary drama had to happen.

“Alright. It’s your choice.” Aragon said respectfully.

Bessie looked down at her floor while yanking her sleeve back over the fresh injuries. She heard Aragon make a disgruntled noise from above.

“You don’t wrap them?”

“No,” Bessie shrugged a little. “Nothing has happened yet. I’m more worried about my floor.”

There were drizzles of red dotting the shaggy grey circle carpet, making Bessie grimace. She might be able to play it off as paint, but that would still make her girls worry.

“Hydrogen peroxide dissolves blood, ri- ow!!”

Aragon scrambled up to her feet when Bessie clutched at her shoulder while attempting to stand. She hissed a wheezing breath between her teeth and pulled her hand away.

“Easy, mija, easy.” Aragon said like a worried mother would.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Bessie said quickly, “Just the after effect. It always burns like this. You’d think I would get used to it.”

She stretches her arm a bit and winced, but shook off the stinging sensation spreading through her skin. Her cells were having an aneurysm from this aching feeling.

“But it is hydrogen peroxide, yeah? I wonder if we have any.”

“Maybe you should sit down.” Aragon offered, “Let me.”

“You already had to deal with my weeping into your chest,” Bessie pointed out while pulling her phone from her pocket, “Siri, how do you clean blood out of carpet?”

She paused for a moment.

“She recommended a cleaning company but I’m just gonna use WikiHow.”

“Do you always act this relaxed after...?”

Bessie rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, looking over at Aragon, who still looks worried.

“Yeah, kinda.” She admitted, “That’s when I dissociate. Everything feels lucid and less stressful. And numb. It’s kinda nice.”

Aragon didn’t feel safe letting Bessie wander around grabbing cleaning chemicals by herself, so she went with her. Mainly because she was seriously worried about the girl downing an entire bottle of dish soap.

“How long have you been doing this?”

Bessie froze mid-scrub. Slowly, she raised her head to meet Aragon’s gaze.

“I, umm... Two weeks after we got reincarnated?” Bessie said meekly, “So about a year and a half now... Usually I do it on my stomach or thighs,” She sees Aragon glance momentarily at those two locations, “It wasn’t that bad back then, though. Things have just gotten worse, and...” She sighed, “So did I.”

Aragon moved from her spot to kneel down next to her. A hand is placed against her back.

“Are you going to be okay?” She asked in a softer voice.

“I think so.” Bessie answered, “I can’t- I can’t promise that I’ll stop. I don’t know if I can. But I’ll try. I want to get better, I just-”

She swallowed the painful lump in her throat.

“It’s hard.”

“I understand,” Aragon murmured, “Just remember that there are people you can talk to. Anna, for example. I’m here, too. I won’t try to act like I always know what I’m doing, but I’m here, if you need me.”

Bessie leaned against Aragon, fighting off tears once again. She sucked in a shaky breath and smiled wryly at her.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Aragon says, leaning over to kiss the top of Bessie’s wet hair. “Can you promise me something, though?”

Bessie looked up at her. Her eyes look so young, so hurt...just like they used to. Aragon couldn’t resist another kiss, which she places against the bassist’s forehead.

“Come to me. Please. Next time you want to cut, come to me. Call me, text me- just please reach out to me. We’ll go do something. We can watch a movie or I’ll just hold you like I used to, just please,” She grabs Bessie’s forearms and blinks back a haze of tears. “Please, baby girl, please come to me.”

Bessie’s eyes started to water all over again. She nodded with a strangled whimper and fell into Aragon’s loving arms, which held her so tightly.

“I love you so much, Elizabeth,” Aragon whispered. She’s crying, now, but her voice stays stable and strong. “More than life itself. You’re my beautiful daughter, and I hate seeing you like this.”

Being referred to as the queen’s daughter made a sob bubble to Bessie’s lips. She clung tighter.

“I-I love you, too....”

#oop #catherine of aragon #bessie on the bass #elizabeth blount #six the musical #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction #tw: self harm

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subject257 · 6 years

Text

((DID YOU ASK FOR A N G S T))

((No?! Well too bad here´s a memory, that´s also a nightmare that he´s having tonight.))

257´s body still twitched as he lay in bed, left over shocks from earlier. He bit his thumb and sighed, the wall was practically covered to the brim in tallies, waiting for them to come. While his exterior seemed merely sad, perhaps slightly broken by the experience, his mindscape was a battlezone.

¨We might as well stop tallying because they´re never showing up. They´ve abandoned us!¨ Anger said, glowering, ¨And now we´re stuck here with people who treat us like trash-¨

Joy growls, ¨Stop talking like that! They´ll show up eventually!¨ Anger grumbled something about 6 damn months. Joy narrows his eyes, ¨If you keep talking like that we´re going to have to muzzle you.¨ The duo glared at each other Obsession stepped between them.

¨Hey hey, now I´m not usually the peaciest of peace makers but you guys need to calm down. Honey or Dibbles would hate to see us like this!¨

¨Who cares what they´d like to see us like! They´re not here!¨ Anger said.

¨It has been a while, it... Doesn´t seem likely.¨ Logic quietly agreed.

¨See, even he thinks we´re stuck!¨

Joy rolls his eyes, ¨Logic´s not always right.¨

¨We messed up, now they hate us-¨

¨Stop it!¨ Obsession cried.

¨AND THEY´RE NEVER COMING BACK!¨ Anger finished, shouting. A wisp of black smoke trailed into the room.

¨H̶̳͇̳͎̼̋̍̇͛͡ȩ̶̭̘̝̖͕̞̤́͊͋́̓͞͞´̷̡͙͕̹̗̪͓̻͆̀̾͑̕s̴̢̡̛̱̥͙͉̺̖̀̀̒̈̋̎̒̉ r̲͙͖̤̠̮̉͛̂̒͆̑͌̈́͢͜ͅi̛̖̙̯̥̦͛̀̐͑̍͟͝g̲͓̫͍͉̫̔̆̆̿̃͠h̡̲̥̥̰̖̺̯̏͌̈̏̿̔̈́͂̂̒͢t̨̟̞͍̺͈͖̔̊͑̂̏̀̄̏͢͜ͅ y̷̨̛͉̣͕̞̻̫̔̿́̍̄́̕͠ͅọ̵̲̳̩͎̼̮͍̫̿̀̂̃̐͗ư͎̞̳̗̹̜̹̓͒͊͜͞ k̢̧̛̳̗̳͉̂͆̎͒͂̚̚͠ń̵̡̛̞͙̦͍̩̉̓̅͒̇̃͡o̵͍̫̫̙̮̱̰̱̅̀̅̏͊͜͟͠ẇ̡̧̹̝̪͇̣̀͒̽͛̆.¨ The voice didn´t seem to come from any particular

source, instead loudly echoing, bouncing off every corner of the wall. Obsession shivers, feeling his eyes flicker green, ¨Fear, stop it... This isn´t like you-¨

The black smoke only thickened ¨.Q̶͚̜̣̹͈͚̊͋̏̀̔̇U̵̢͈̤̼͔̿̇͑̿͗͋͜͡ͅÌ̡͈̪̖͖̱̰͊̅̇̕̕E̸̳̮̟̬̺͊̆̅͒̌̋̓T̷̨̝̟̼̼̪̘͌̎͘͠͠͝ ¨

The sound of the shout was practically deafening, yet even underneath it Obsession could hear whispers ´worthless, helpless thing´ ´Of course no one´s coming why would they´ ´They hate us, I know they do, we all know they do.´ ´We should just quit´ The longer Obsession listened the thicker the smoke seemed to grow. Obsession coughed, he felt like he was choking on it. His eyes started burning and quickly flicking from red to green and back again.

¨SHUT UP!¨ He shouted, eyes bright red, as he used what little power he still had in 257´s mind to push the smoke back. He grabbed the side of his head, trying to stop the tears from coming, ¨Just shut up and leave us alone Fear.¨

There´s a short pause,

¨Ì̸̧̢̼̙̮͔͕͂̒̌͛̏̽͒͋̆ c̛͕̼̰̠̟͔̟̖̦͗̽́́̕̚͝͠a̢̬̮̰̠̳͔̎̂͋̀͗̆̓͜͟͝ṉ̯̳̯̱͕̋̌̑̄̓̈̕´̛̛͕̬͔̹͕͍͙̔̄̀͛͟t̸̗̰̠̠̻͋̉̅́̽̾͞͡.̳̹̺̩̭̲̤̊̈́͌̾̋̐.̠̙͖̫̰̣́̊̇͆͒̒̉̽̐̅͢͢.̶̹͖͓̞̦̜̏̇̏̎̂͜ Ọ̸̺͉̪̙̦̤̠͆͋̋̇̑͟͟͞b̸̩̰͈̖̮͕͍̰͙̉̃͌̀̀͆̂̔͡s͈̻̝͕̗̟̋͂́͛̎̽͂̍̀͟ẻ̵̮̞̥̩̹̫̪̏̎͛͊͒̀̚͟͜͡͝s̸̺͚͈̞͙͖̐̀̓̌̀͗̈́͘s̴̙̲̱̟͖̟̥͌͋͆͋̀́i͙̻̙̱̪̅͒̔̌̽̿̓̿͘͟͝ō͖͈̘̺͙̄̽̉͌n̲̯͔̳͖̓͂̆́̅̏́͐̕͞,̷̲̞̲͈͒̄̾́̆̅̉͂͟ͅ J͉̲̲̠̺͂̐͐͒̈̅̔͐̏ő̷̟͚̙͔̱̪̐̽̒͠ỷ̬͈̖͚̮̠̐̾͂̿̏͆̕͜͜͞ y̥̬̥͔̭͆̏̕͟͟͝͡ơ̝̼̣̤̺̮͍̱̗̍͌̓̈́̾̕͟͡ű̢͕͍͇̬̱̣͓̠͋̏͒̽̋̈́´͉̲̣͓͓̦̓͑̈́̏͐͞ŗ̶̖̱̩̟̿́͂̾͞e͈̩̻̗͎͂̏̓̎̋ h̡̡͕̲͇̗̳͇͎͙͆̃̈́̃͗̐̈́̆͌ư̧̲̩͖͇̩̫̠̽̓̉̈́͘͡͞ͅr̸̨̦̝̭̞̽̎̌͑̏̾̕t͔̲̭̥͆̉͑̂̑͢į̵̭̩̼̪͎̼͕̉̓̿́̇̀́͘͜͢n̷͕̻͎̫̝̯͈̝͗͗̾̚͢͡g̞͉̻͔̭̜̻̤̒̈̑͛̉͞ ű̙͚̟̝̣͈̱̹͋̉̑̿͐͢͜͞͡s̵̱͔̯̖͍̣̪̔̽́̀́̎́͜͠͠ͅ.̸̺͍̘̳̤͈̀͂̀̑̐͌ T̷̨̛̮͔̱̹̜̫̘̫̀́͑̅̽͛̃͂͛h̶̘͍̗͙͙͚̓͋͐̔̾͘͠e̲̝͔̤͕̪̩͆̂͋̾̉̍͟͡y͈͕̼̳͖̮̗͉̽̌̏̀͘͜͜´͎͓̙͎̳̬̅̊͆̏̆ṽ̵̨̻͕̻̝̥͕͙̭̖̍͊̿́́͑̀͝͡e̛̠̳̬͚͕͇̥̰̔͐̊͐͌̚͢͡ m̵̢͙͚̼͔̼̃̀͌̈͌͘͟͝͠ȍ̵̮̼̬͓̪̩̆̓̀̒͜͡v̯͎̝͔̟͕͓͙̜̈̒̈́͑̃̕e̵̡̢̗͈͎̓̅̓̋͑d̶̟̜̰̞̻͓̑͒̔̾̂̇̿͑̚͡ͅ o̰̭̝̻̠̠͓̺̓̉̆͊̌͞n̶̡̡͚̤̤̱͎͇̟͈̾̅͑̋͝͝.̵̡͔͕̞͙̜̜̾͆́̏͘͟͞ W̴̜͙̻͕̠̦͊̈́̊͆̀̓͊̆͂͜͜͡ͅȅ̷̖͓̬̗͈̫͛̏͛̂̔͐̀ ḿ̶͉̫̩̖̥̻͔̝̂̇͑̓̀ͅē͇͇̤̼͓̗͈̤̑̋̈͘ą̜̻̮̜̤̦̰͆̇͒͂̂͗͐̔̔͟ͅǹ̴̢͚͔͓̘̻̣͒͋̇́̃̎ ņ̸̞̣̻̲̹͖̩͓̽̇͋̚͢͠ơ̴̙͓̬̌͌̀̒̓̿̉̂͜͢ẗ̛̟̲̥̭̙͚̥́̏̇͊h̭̲̪̖͚̤̠̭̽̇̀͐̈́ͅi̡̧̛͈͉̠͚̯͔͔͖̋̑̈̽͗͝n̡̡̛̠͉̘̫͖̬̍̉̄̇̐͂̀̌͘g̷̢̧̮̫͑̔̆̊̚͝͞ͅ ţ̷̛̗̘̬̠̻̬̺̊̿̀̀͆͗̿͘o̧̝͍͉̪̠̞̿̐̉͛̚͜͟ t̸̙̝̖̯̥̠͐̿̅̓̾̒͠h̴̡͔̺͕͕̜̪͕̉́̏̀͞e̶͎͖͚̭͖̣̪̮̾̅̉̇̌̉̈͛̕͢m̡͓̩̱̗̹̱̣̄̔̀̌͆͠.̗͉̲̥̝̜̎͆̓̂̏͟ W̸̢̨͙̟̖̣̤͔̎͂͒̎̽̂̽͘͠ḙ̶̛̞̱̲͗̉̇̐͗̋̈́͡͞ͅ m̭͓̜̖̽͆́̆̋̕͟ȩ͓͕͙̺̗͂̊̔͛͊̉͆̕̚̕a̧͈͉̻̻͙͉͂̌̆́͆͢͡ń̷͕̹̱̺̯̳̾̈̒͆͒̎̀͝ n̡͇̩̻͐͐̈́́͋̉͢ő̵͉̤̩̰͕̮̪̎́̅͛̾͡ţ̶̙̼̯̘̲̳̀̑̓̏͌͘͢͟h͙͔̰̘͖̹͈̋͐̅̄͜͞͞i̹̦̯͕̣̐̊̓̎̆͗̉͒̔͐n̴̜͈̭̦̜͗͐̌̿̏̍͜g̶̢̖̯͕̜̙̬̘͆̄̒͂̃͌̎ ț͈̪̗̣̓͛̽̔̍̀̊̍̃ớ̸̰̻͍͚̒͐̆͘͘͜͠͞ a̵̛̗̜̰̖̬̪̎̅̅́͛̒̍͐ͅn̸̨̻̻̰̰̞̥̑̃́̔͗̑̓͞ẙ̛͇̝͚̩̖̝͑̏̅́͟o̲͓͈̦̦̿̀̀̕͞͝n̵͇̖̖͖̮̳̩̮͊̽̆̑̽͋͞e̪̖̰͖̲̬̭̹̗̮͆̈̈̋̎͒.̛͈͓̝͖̻̯̖͚́͐́̊̌͡¨

¨Mother.¨ Logic says his voice still not rising above a whisper, ¨They Agency, they still...¨

Anger rubs his forehead, ¨Please tell me your fucking with-¨

Logic chuckles darkly, ¨You know we´re right.¨

Obsession shakes his head, ¨No, you´re wrong, they´re coming-!¨

His voice was cut off by the smoke curling around his throat, repeating that he´s hurting them, he needs to just quit, he needs to just go away for a while...

And Obsession found himself believing it, and Logic felt no need to bring him back when the Agency was remodeling the mindscape. He was too stuck in the past. Too difficult to work with. So for a few years Obsession

Vanished.

He´s not sure when he was brought back, but he felt like it was during his mission. As it was revealed that Dibkins saw through his facade as his alternate...

#Ficlet?#Red eyes at night sailor´s delight: Obsession #Princess of Cute: Joy #A bitter taste: Anger #longpost #It all makes sense: Logic #Terrified Terror: Fear

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stark-dynamic · 5 years

Text

17th Sun of 3rd Umbral Moon, 1583

It is quiet. Too quiet. The four corners of the walls are completely tallied. No room for any more. Sieglinde is at her absolute limit: physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Thump thump.

Verdant eyes thrown wide, gazing ever so skyward, her appearance marred by lack of sleep. She can feel herself slowly dying from the magitek system in her body degrading, its life support slowly failing. With every breath it feels as though she gets drawn more...and more into the abyss.

“Tick tock…goes the clock…

She still has her Network linkpearl, right by her side. Her only form of solace. As the rays of sunlight shine through the window, her marred, emancipated figure is shown...it looks like she has stopped eating recently, her hair is too long and too undone. She looks like a living ghost. Yet she is still alive, her will is too strong to let her die. Or more like...both of her wills...

“Time is almost up.”

The madness within swells within the darkness, once again appearing to Sieglinde in the form of her own visage, except garnered in all black, looking much like a humanoid voidsent...or perhaps something more ancient, like one of the Dowager’s children. She scorns her weaker self, flashing the grin of the devil as the weakened child struggles with her damaged organs, now that the system keeping them functional is degrading.

“...I have to give you credit, my weaker self...living on your own, for five moons...in isolation... One would probably call it a miracle...although in your case...is it truly a worthy miracle...or a curse…? Hehehe…”

Sieglinde growls as she tries to get up from her bed despite her weakened state, but ends up flopping onto the floor, coughing a bit of blood. The madness within laughs at her, finding enjoyment in the struggle.

“You can barely move, let alone get up! That stupid thing inside your body may as well be the same as being confined to that bed, you cannot leave.”

“Shut...up…the answer...is still...no...!”

“We are stubborn, but this stalemate of ours has gone on long enough. It won’t be long until you move on from this realm, but you don’t have to let it end this way. I can feel it, the end is almost here, the work of Mother will soon come to fruition, and all will fall under Elysian...it is but a matter of time…”

She has managed to get up, but is still wobbling, and struggling. She carries the linkpearl in her hand, panting, she makes for the locked chest on the table with its key right nearby.

“You can still make the pledge. You can still live on, move past your mortality...there’s nothing left for you anyways. Why prolong the suffering? Your family is dead, your friends are gone, you are alone. And have been alone. You had a family with the Beloved, yet you threw that away. You are weak, you are a fool.”

She takes the key and inserts it into the lock, rotating it slowly until the chest unlocks, revealing its contents to be a handmade doll, looking like Sieglinde herself but in blue garbed gear, looking like a professional soldier or gunner…wait…

“...Irma Gerd...the other you...that you called a parasite.”

The madness within cannot help but laugh while Sieglinde takes out the Irma doll and starts to cry.

“...Irma...I’m sorry…”

“Might as well make your final farewells~, be it until you become something more or until you die. Either way, your time is up. It is time for you to choose. Are you with Mother, or against her?”

Thump thump...thump thump...

Sieglinde is silent on the question as she also pulls out a dagger from the chest, surprising the madness within.

“...What might you be doing now? No….”

Thump thump...thump thump..thump thump..

She aims the dagger towards her own chest, her hands shaking as she closes her eyes.

Thump thump..Thump thump..Thump thump..thumpthump..thumpthump..thumpthump..

“...I’m giving you my answer…”

Heart beat rises each instant, as she arches the dagger towards the chest when suddenly….

...she stops. Just before it could puncture her chest, puncture her damaged heart. She simply drops the knife as her body shakes.

“...I applaud the attempt. But that just proves to me your mettle, and your decision. You only...need to speak the words, Sieglinde...speak...and the pain will be over. I know you craaaaave this...”

“...I...Sieglinde Stark…”

“Goood~” The madness within seems to swell more over Sieglinde, its insanity about to takes it toil upon the poor woman. Red lines from the magitek system appear over Sieglinde’s body. “Keep going~...”

“...do hereby swear…from this moment on…that my life...to the service…”

The madness’s grin widens as the darkness caresses Sieglinde, almost there...almost there. Just needs one final push…

“...of those who would fight against the Dowager.”

“YES…WHAT?!” The madness’s expression turned from glee to shock as the darkness backs away a little bit.

“To prevent her will...from being carried out...to fight alongside those who would oppose her…”

“No…! What are you doing..!? STOP!!!” The darkness creeps away further, as the red lines turned into a serene blue.

“...And to protect those from being wrought upon...by her so-called...justice…! I bound myself...to this pledge...until oblivion takes me...or until the Dowager is slain once and for all!!!”

It is at that moment the darkness is swept clean away, the madness within Sieglinde screeching in both pain and anger as Sieglinde’s body calms, stops trembling, and stands up straight. She is still dying, but now she has the strength to keep on going. She takes the linkpearl, Irma’s doll, and makes her way downstairs, where the dolls of her family are still at the dining table.

“...You really ARE A FOOL!”

“Why? Because I pledged~?”

“I will not accept this. This pledge is false! You are condemning yourself to more suffering, when it can all be over! What about your mother!? Your father!? Your sister!? You could see them all again in Elysian, your own world!!!”

When Sieglinde looks at the dolls, she hallucinates them as her actual family, who smile at her and nod; she nods back with a smile and tears. She then glances back at her own madness.

“I know what they would want. They want me to live...to be happy. I almost went down a dark path...from which I would never be able to return…a path you tried to drag me down to...but then I remember them...and now...I remember her.”

The embodiment of her madness can only clench her teeth, as suddenly another Sieglinde appears behind the real Sieglinde, garbed in blue and in professional gear, giving the real Sieglinde a sincere calm smile and nod, before staring the madness in the face.

“Irma…you parasite!!!”

“No...not a parasite. She is the other me, the me that was born and lived on after I slept. I once thought she was a parasite who stole my body from me...but that was but delusion...no…” She looks towards Irma. “You were right...I’m not complete without you...and you without me.” Irma nods, and speaks back to her. “We’ll get through this, together. As one.”

Irma and the Stark family dissipates leaving Sieglinde and the madness again, as she makes her way to the front door.

“Ha! You’re still going to die, like you should have all those years ago…!”

As Sieglinde puts her hand on the door handle, she exhaled heavily, as the madness grins. Sieglinde then smiles as she slowly opens the front door, the warm light of the sun seemingly causing pain to the embodiment. Of course Sieglinde’s hallucinating her because of the madness, so it may be more symbolic.

“Irma...no...I know of some people who can help...who have helped me before...saved me once from the Dowager and her Fens...and hopefully...they will save me again.”

As Sieglinde walks outside, the rays of the sun overwhelming her at first but she then welcomes it with a cheery smile, while the madness within is suffering.

“You think they will listen..!? I bet they disabled that linkpearl of yours, because you can’t be trusted…! They’ll probably kick you out or kill you on sight! HAHA!!!!”

“...Now you’re just being pathetic.”

The madness is shot down by that simple statement, as Sieglinde starts to focus her aether, the best that she could in her weakened condition, but the magitek system is helping her.

“...You’ll..die…”

“I won’t, because I have hope. My mama told me to always have hope and believe in myself. I have faith they will listen to me. If not, I will at least die as a normal Hyur, than live as a monster…And by the way...I do not need a dream world to make my dreams come true. Even though they may be hard...I’ll make my dreams come true on my own. And my family...will be with me in spirit, as they always have...”

The madness embodiment slowly starts to dissipate away, as Sieglinde offers one last smile before beginning the teleport.

“...I had a good sleep...but now...it’s time to wake up.”

#finally got around to doing a thing #summer semester kept me busy #too busy #but now sigi and irma are coming back #I'm also gonna work on a thing to introduce another character #but for now enjoy

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mysidewriting · 8 years

Text

Through the Storm

Note: I just wanted to let you all know that this story is also being posted on archiveofourown. That is typically an easier reading platform than tumblr, so maybe some of you would prefer that? Just thought I’d put it out there! c: Enjoy~

From the start –> Previous chapter

Chapter Six

Mom was in the middle of filing paperwork for the divorce when I called her, she sniffled frequently enough that I knew she had been crying beforehand. She laughed when I asked if she was okay and pointed out that it was honestly funny how fast it was moving.

She was still handling things eerily well, seemingly even better than I was at times. I hated to think she was hiding things from me, or from anyone… but according to Hau and Kukui - she was doing just fine.

Guzma had shown up at the house but my mother, being the strong minded woman she was, managed to make him feel so annoyed and confused that he left before he could even enter the house. I apologized on Hau’s behalf for the inconvenience but she claimed there wasn’t any issue - Guzma was just a lost soul looking for something to fill the void with. It would take him a while before he realized what was truly important and what to do with his time and life.

With only a few days left in Kanto I made sure to spend as much of the time with Lillie as possible. The day after going through Seafoam and meeting articuno I basically moved back into her room for the remainder of my stay. We spent a lot of our time doing stupid little things like baking sweets for her mother and watching series of movies that we got obsessed with for a few days. We’d made bracelets and collars that matched our Pokémon and now both Kai and Null wore thin colorful collars that matched my thin colorful bracelets.

I loved every second I got to spend with her and knew that once I moved on to Johto I would miss her so much more than I had while in Alola.

I was fearing traveling to Johto now. I didn’t know as many people, didn’t know the region whatsoever. I’d be spending my nights in hotels and Pokémon centers rather than friends’ homes. I feared the loneliness. I feared the next five months for the same reason, though I knew I would eventually get use to the solo wandering.

Hau had Lillie and I video chat with him multiple times in the last week, showing both of us the progress he was making with his team. He’d caught some new friends and they were looking strong, he threatened that the minute I got back to Alola he would steal the champion seat from me. I warned that after I was finished with my traveling I would be even stronger than I had been before, and my team could be entirely new.

We told him ever last thing about our escapade into the Seafoam caves. Lillie sent him all the pictures and video she had taken and Hau was horribly jealous. Jealous of the experience, jealous of me for doing something so fun with Lillie, and jealous that we had hung out with the best trainers in Kanto.

Lillie and Hau now had inside jokes. They were constantly giggling at each other every chance they got. I told Hau to make some moves while she wasn’t around. He was nervous but far more confident now that she was reciprocating all his small advances.

I gave it another two months before the two of them were dating - even if it meant that it was long distance for now.

I hadn’t heard from Gladion since that night before Seafoam. Hau claimed he was busy with work when I’d asked why he hadn’t joined any of the video calls. This meant the last message in our log was ‘talk tomorrow’ which was an oddly depressing note to leave it on. I wanted to tell him about the trip, I wanted to explain what I had seen in articuno’s eyes since he was the only one who would truly understand such an experience with a Pokémon. I feared upsetting him again, considering he wasn’t a big fan of Green, or at least me spending time with Green… but all the words I wanted to pitch in his direction were pilling onto a heavy backlog. I needed to call him soon… I vowed to do so the next time I was alone and bored… something that happened very infrequently when I was living with Lillie and her mother.

A cold wind whipped past me and I quickly hugged myself in an attempt to warm up. It hadn’t been windy like this a few moments ago…? The chill reached to my bone and I pulled my jacket tighter around myself and rushed to the nearest building to get out of the sudden gusts.

I had been wandering just west of Lavender Town, observing all those growlithe I had been tallying off only a week ago. So the first building I managed to enter was within the city limits, in the shadow of the infamous Pokémon tower. Many small Pokémon wandered the house I had entered, cheerfully bouncing around. An elderly man stood at the far end of the room, staring off out the window with a rather dead look in his eye.

“Hello.” I called out, unsettled to see he didn’t react at all to my voice. “Sorry to barge in like this, the wind picked up all of sudden and I had to get out of it.” The end of my words came out in a laugh.

The man didn’t react, just continued to stand there as though he didn’t even know I was here. After a long awkward silence he finally spoke, making me jump. “It’s not the wind.”

I paused, watching a small eevee stumble into a clumsy pile near my feet. Its doe eyes turned up to me and a smile spread across its tiny face. “What do you mean?”

“The tower is calling for help.” He grumbled, finally leaving his position and pouring a cup of what I imagined to be tea. “There’s something trapped in there.”

“The tower?” I sputtered, confused at his words. I need to leave, this guy is crazy. “I’m sorry, but what?”

He turned to face me, his face was ancient - scarred and tarnished with the years of his long life. His eyes chilled me more than the winds had, one eye clouded over and long disabled. I felt myself start to back towards the door, a hand drifting to the pokeball in my pocket. Good thing Null is horrifying to those who have never seen it…

A grin cracked across the man’s face. “Go see for yourself, dearie. It won’t let you leave until you do.”

I shook my head hard, my fist closing around Null’s pokeball as the man took a single step towards me. “I’m leaving now. Sorry for interrupting.”

I burst out the door and into the now eerily silent town. Maybe it was just the man’s words… but the tower seemed to loom over me even more so then it had before. The reflection of the sunlight on the aged metal made it seem to glow a sickening green. I let Null out, happy to have a friend’s presence with me.

The Pokémon sunk low to the ground, unsettled. The short, dark fur along it’s back stood on end and the beast released a roar and charged towards the tower… “No!” I raced after it, no longer caring about what the creepy old guy had said. I couldn’t lose my Pokémon, especially not this one.

Null ascended the stairs, disappearing behind what looked and smelt like a cloud of incense smoke as its mismatched paws hit the top step. I stopped in my headlong chase of the Pokémon to take a good look at surroundings. All black walls and half dead hanging plants. Two woman stood in the room, cheerful smiles on their painted faces.

I nodded to them, quickly remarking about getting my Pokémon out of here as quickly as possible. I didn’t want to disturb the graves of loved ones. The elder of the two warned me of some 'channelers’ that were currently using the tower for religious purposes. I cringed at the words, naive and wanting to stay that way towards what a channeler was.

I sucked down my nerves and charged up the stairs, peering through the heavy scented smoke for any sign of where Null had went. I saw a glint of a bronze helmet and I dashed towards it, being careful to avoid the headstones on the way. With the heavy smoke it was challenging to determine where the stones were, though they seemed to follow a similar pattern throughout the floor.

I barely touched Null’s fish like tail before it leaped away from me, clearly startled by the touch, I watched as it ran up another flight of stairs hastily and swore under my breath. I continued after it, acutely aware of the thickening fog surrounding me. The scent that had been somewhat pleasant on the first floor was already becoming far too strong.

The minute my foot hit the next floor another shiver went down my spine - that same chill that had pushed me off into the old man’s house lingering over my skin. I considered calling Kai out to help me, and for the company as I was feeling rather nauseous with fear, but realized she may do the same thing Null was.

I weaved carefully between the stones, coughing and trying to limit my intake of the scented smoke as I climbed a few more floors to follow Null. I felt weirdly light headed as I ascended and I accredited it to the fog and not knowing what floor I was on anymore. I finally caught up to the chimera-like beast and threw myself at it, wrapping my arms around its feathered neck and trying to calm it down. It seemed to relax as it heard my voice and sunk down to the floor, laying down and whimpering in fear. “I’m sorry, Null. Sorry for scaring you like that.”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry…” a voice chanted. I felt my own hair stand on end as it snaked around Null and I. Null’s whimpers turned to fearful growls.

“Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry…”

I covered my ears, biting back a scream as the mantra of almost whispered words seemed to constrict my mind. The scent of the fog felt like gum in my sinuses, sticky and unforgiving.

“Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry…”

Null suddenly jumped to its feet, I watched through tearful eyes as it angrily roared and lunged towards a figure in the smoke. The whispered words weighed on my like a physical presence, pushing on my back - shoving me to the floor… my clouded mind imagined the ground opening beneath me. Musky dirt and decayed bodies of both human and Pokémon yawning out before me.

No. It’s a hallucination.

I focused on the figure of my Pokémon, battling something shrouded in the mist. Its roars we’re deafening. Something in my head clicked then and I yelled to Null, “use pursuit!”

It obeyed my command and quickly struck the foe with a dark cloud of mist surrounding its figure. A cry filled the room and suddenly the figure was gone, the fog slowly dissipating. The chorus of 'sorry’ fading with the strongly scented smoke. I was able to stand again and Null looked to me, its strange tail wagging back and forth rapidly.

“Good job.” I said with a hesitant smile.

Something pink flashed past my vision and I locked onto the fast moving figure just in time to see what it was. A small cat like Pokémon with a long tail was whizzing through the room. It stopped as I noticed it and met my gaze, a small laugh like sound leaving its mouth.

Mew…?!

I gaped towards the small mythical Pokémon. Utterly shocked to see it in such a horrendous place. It floated closer to me staring at me with these huge blue eyes. Null bounced suddenly, trying to grab mew’s tail. It quickly moved away, giggling again. A noise similar to its name left its mouth and it span in a circle, a pink bubble forming around it and then suddenly it was gone. Popped out of the air leaving no trace of its presence whatsoever.

I refused to believe the Pokémon had been the cause for the shit that had happened. It had to have been a ghost Pokémon. A gengar maybe… they were known for pulling pranks on humans and wreaking havoc whenever they got the chance. That figure looked human though… I shivered and recalled Null to its ball and quickly made my way out of the building. Ignoring the fact that the scented smoke was refilling once again and stray whispers floated through the fog aimlessly.

Maybe it wasn’t a Pokémon in there…

I left Lavender Town as quickly as humanely possible. Relieved to get south of there and across the wooden planks over the ocean. My limbs shook as I walked and I sucked in the smell of the ocean to help calm my nerves. After walking far enough away that I could no longer see Lavender Town I took a seat on the edge of the planks and pulled out my phone.

“Oy.”

“Hey! I didn’t think you’d actually pick up.” I laughed.

“Well, I did. What’s up?” Gladion muttered over the line, sounding very distracted.

I blanked, that whole backlog of things I wanted to say to him getting so rammed up in my throat that I struggled to say anything at all. I stumbled over myself and he chuckled at me.

“What, Moon? Are you okay?”

I swallowed a lump in my throat and sucked in another deep breath of the salty air. “Shaky, but okay.” My laugh was strained.

“Why’s that?”

I didn’t want to think about why I was shaky, I wanted to push all of today behind me and just get to Lillie’s room, talk about trivial things until we passed out. Then I’d try to make sense of things. “Something kind of crazy happened, I’ll tell you about it later though.”

He sighed, “Are you doing stupid stuff again?”

“This wasn’t by choice.” I half defended, admitting to myself that it was a kind of dumb choice to go to Lavender to begin with.

“Moon.” He grumbled, sighing once again. “Well you’re on the phone so it couldn’t have been that bad.”

“Or I’m just going to you for comfort. Which I think is what this partially is.” I laughed, leaning forward so I could see my reflection in the water. “There was a lot of stuff I wanted to talk to you about though… is this a good time?”

He was quiet for a moment, I could hear some commotion over the line and I waited patiently until his voice was back again. “Uh, not really. I’m in the middle of work.”

“Oh! Why’d you answer then? You shouldn’t talk on the phone during work, dork.”

“Apparently I answered to comfort you so…” he chuckled again and I felt my cheeks warm. “I can call you back when I’m done.”

“Can you promise me that? Because the last text I got from you was kind of similar to what you just said and you didn’t follow through with that.” I joked, smiling at myself in the water.

“Jeez, Moon. Sorry, I’ve been busy.” His tone was light and playful as well, “yes I can promise you that I’ll call you after work. If I don’t then… I don’t know, don’t talk to me for a week.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice for you though?”

“No?” He swore under his breath. “I need to go, one of the grimer is about to engulf a cutiefly.”

I burst out laughing, much louder than any of my previous noises had been. “Yeah go stop that. Talk later then, Gladion.”

“Yeah. Promise. Bye, Moon.”

The minute I entered the house Lillie knew something was off. She claimed my face was pale enough that it looked like I was sick and hadn’t slept for a week… but the expression on my face was way too giddy for me to just be feeling under the weather.

She’d had a few hours to work at the convenience store and I hadn’t expected her to be back as early as she was. I explained that I’d ended up in Lavender Town and some crazy crap had happened. She tried getting the information out of me but I told her I wasn’t ready yet. I needed to clear my mind before I could digest the events of today. I collapsed on the couch that had become mine in recent days and begged to watch the next movie of the series we were currently working through.

She asked me why I was constantly checking my phone while watching the movie, that it wasn’t like me. I lied and told her I was waiting for my Mom to text back to a question I’d asked her earlier.

“My mom says she remembers you now.” Lillie said as the credits rolled over the screen.

I stared blankly at her, not knowing how to respond.

“She doesn’t remember what she did but she remembers you and Hau. She said your both great kids.” She smiled faintly.

“So that’s good progress then!” I grinned at her.

She nodded, “Exactly. I’m hoping this means we can go back home soon.”

“You plan on leaving Kanto?” I was baffled, I didn’t really consider that she’d be moving back at some point.

She nodded again, “of course. It is my home, my brother is there. My friends are there. It’s where my mom should be… not in charge of aether… maybe not even in the building… but Alola is where we belong.”

A huge grin fell across my face, “I’m glad you think that way. I can’t wait to have you guys back there!”

She blushed, “I can’t wait to be back there too.”

I knew she was thinking of Hau as she said that by the way her cheeks heated up. If she were back in Alola then there wouldn’t be anything holding the two of them back from dating. I pointed that out and she looked so giddy.

“I can’t wait.” Was all she said again.

The night dragged on and I didn’t hear from Gladion again. I tried to not calculate the time in Kanto so I wouldn’t get upset, but I couldn’t stop myself from doing so. He couldn’t have been working past ten, right?

Lillie and I were laying down for bed when I finally decided to just text him, joke about not talking to him for a week since he’d seemingly forgotten his promise. But just as I opened the text log my phone vibrated and a new message popped up.

G//I’m guessing it’s too late now?

M//hah. I was just about to tell you that all communication with me is shut off until next week… //no it’s not too late, I can go in the other room

G//okay. //video call…?

M//uh sure?

Lillie was on her phone, facing away from me… so I slowly slipped off the couch and tiptoed out the door in hopes of not disturbing her. My hand wrapped around the door handle and she shifted.

“Bye?” She laughed. “Bathroom?”

I chewed on my lip, I didn’t want to lie again. I was kind of tired of it after only a few occurrences so I just admitted quickly before slipping out the door, “No, talking to Gladion.”

She propped herself up on an elbow, looking confused as I closed the door behind me. I considered going to the computer but settled with just using my phone and dropping to my butt in the middle of the hallway.

Gladion’s call came up a moment later and I answered almost immediately, unsurprised to see him rubbing tiredly at his face. A sympathetic grin twisted my lips.

“It’s too late for you isn’t it?” I asked.

He peered at me through his fingers and shook his head, “no, I’ll be up for a while still anyway.”

I pouted, “Really? Because that clock behind you says it’s nearly five am.”

He grimaced and sighed, “I don’t have a decent sleep schedule anymore. Work has screwed that up this last month.” He dropped his hands to the desktop.

My jaw dropped, “Wait you were working until now?”

He simply nodded in response.

“What?! What the hell are you working on?” My voice echoed off the walls and I slapped a hand over my mouth. I didn’t want to wake Lusamine or stir Lillie enough for her to come out and see what was going on.

“A lot of research projects, general conservation of the region, special help for individual Pokémon… the normal stuff… it’s just..” he sighed and leaned back in the chair, arms crossing over his chest, “a lot more than normal.”

“Why don’t you go sleep then?”

He shook his head, bagged eyes closing “You said you needed to talk to me and frankly, talking with you is what I need right now.”

“How come?” I was thankful his eyes were closed and the hallway was dimly lit as my face was turning red.

He shrugged, “sounds nice. It’s been a while.”

I smiled, gaze on the floor. “Okay. I’ll try to make it quick so you can rest.”

“No rush, Moon.” He adjusted his position in the seat again, propping his head up on a fist. “So what’s going on?”

I started off explaining the trip to Seafoam, how Lillie had joined our little spelunking team at the last minute. I told him about the zubat attack and the crazy scenery - promising to have Lillie send pictures when he expressed interest in that part. I spent probably a solid five minutes talking about the glass bubble like room under the ocean, how you could see ocean Pokémon swimming past the thick ice.

“Damn. I want to see that.” He mumbled.

After explaining our encounter with articuno and the odd connection I’d felt with the Pokémon - I asked his opinion of the whole eye to eye experience I’d had. He sat a little straighter, considering my words with a quizzical expression on his face.

“I read recently that all those ancient Pokémon like articuno can predict the future.” He muttered, seeming lost in thought. “There were some reports of close encounters with humans predicting coming fortune or turmoil.”

“I did kind of feel that… like it was trying to warn me of something.” I recalled that hold the bird had on me, that steady, concerned gaze.

I watched his expression fall and the color fade from his face. “Warning?”

I nodded, worried about his reaction.

“Moon.” He sighed, pressing a knuckle to his forehead. “Arceus. I don’t want to hear that… we’ve all been through enough already.”

I shrugged. “It’s not my choice to be in 'turmoil’, I might just be a magnet to it.” I joked with a nervous front.

His eyes rolled, “yeah, clearly…. Anyway, please try to avoid anything that seems even remotely lethal. Please?”

I laughed, “I obviously will try my best! I’m sure I could work my way out of a bad situation anyway.”

His gaze turned harsh, just short of a glare. The affect was almost lost through the video but I still felt slightly intimidated. “Look, it’s great to be confident and all… and yes you’re a great trainer, obviously. But it doesn’t take much for a situation to get out of hand. Don’t let it get to that point, and if you’re struggling with something… get help.”

“I do have help! A whole team of it!” I laughed, rubbing at an especially watery eye. Sleepiness was starting to reach me as well, though I was hyper conscious of the clock behind Gladion ticking away the hours until the sun would rise in Alola.

“No, Moon-”.

I cut him off before he could go on. “I know, I know. I was kidding.” I conceded.

He grumbled. “Was there something else you wanted to tell me? Something less concerning?”

His eyes were nearly glazed over and I couldn’t bring myself to keep him on the chat any longer. My head shook back and forth for a moment, “I can tell you the rest later. You should go sleep.”

“I’m fine, Moon. What is it?”

“It’s not like I need to tell you at any point, it can wait! Go rest before you pass out, dork.” I smirked at him, the long, hidden yawn that left his mouth giving away his exhaustion more so than the bags and sleepy body posture.

“Fine, talk tomorrow then?” He prodded, dragging a short laugh out of me.

“I don’t know, will we?” I said, raising my eyebrows to accentuate my passive stab.

His hands covered his face, barely concealing the eye roll he gave me in response. “We will.”

“Okay.” I laughed, “Goodnight then.”

His hands moved from his face, exposing a small, rare smirk that made my heart slam in my chest. “Yeah. Night, Moon.”

The screen suddenly went dark, my phone becoming just a phone in my eyes once again. I kinda miss his face being there already? I shook myself out of the thought and carefully stood, pocketing the hot phone as I slowly walked back into Lillie’s room - making sure I didn’t make a noise as the door shut. She was curled up in her comforter, her own phone resting screen up. I could see from where I stood that she had her chat log with Hau still open - she likely fell asleep during their conversation.

I crawled onto the couch pulling my own comforter tight around my body and burying my face into the pillow. Sleep seemed unattainable now that I was laying in the somewhat bed. A strange stream of artificial energy was surging through my body and I figured it came from sitting so awkwardly in the hall for so long… or maybe looking at a screen so late at night…

Note cont…: Fair warning that progress may slow down a bit on these chapters - I’m getting pretty busy with classes and havent had as much time and energy to write lately. So hopefully I dont have to just give up writing for a while! Anyway, thanks as always c:

#gladion x moon #fanfic #gladion fanfic #lonashipping #gladion #pokemon #romance #adventure #Hau x Lillie #through the storm #through the storm chapter six

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darkowlnyx · 6 years

Text

I leant against the cold stone wall, the cold winter air seeping into my bare skin, straight to my bones. My wraps lay stretched out on the floor, drying from me washing them two nights ago. My finger ached as I scratched another tally into the wall. The far wall, and back wall were both completely covered in tally marks, although I had lost track of many days I had been here, I kept marking the wall each day after I ate. Once I had finished the mark, I looked at my nails, this last mark had worn down my last nail and I would have to wait for them to grow again before I could make another mark.

Sighing into the empty space, I took my spot in the middle of the room, like I did every day. I stood there for a moment, listening to the cries of the other prisoners. I couldn’t tell if their cries were in my head or if they were real. I listened to the cries for a while, but when my head was full of the sound, I let it out.

I just wanted silence, but I could never have it here. The only solace I got was when I sang. Every day after lunch I let the sounds out of my head, it reminded me not to break, to keep my sanity, and each day it got harder to start my song. I didn’t use words when I sang, just sang the melody I heard in my head.

There was a loud bang on my cell door, the first warning to be silent. When I continued to sing, the door opened and two guards appeared. The one in front looked me up and down, seeing my wet clothes on the floor, pity filled his features. The other had a harder look on his face, no care or empathy in his body. I looked past them and continued to sing. The first guard sighed and they both moved into the cell. The hard faced one stayed in front of me, the other went behind me.

“Stop singing,” the one in front warned. I continued my song. “Do it,” I felt a kick on the back of my legs, forcing my weakened knees to collapse and push me to the floor. The second my knees cracked on the floor, the other guard stooped down and grabbed my throat. He started to choke me, cutting off my song. I didn’t fight him, or struggle in any way. He let go of my throat and stood back up.

“If you keep singing, you will be silenced completely,” he threatened, although there was no intimidation in his voice. They knew I wouldn’t stop, but they also wouldn’t kill me.

I coughed a few times as my breath scratched my throat. They left the room.

I curled over on my side.

In a few minutes, when what little magic I had left healed the slight bruising on my throat, I would get up and move to the bed.

Tears would escape me silently, and I will lose even more of my sanity. That was my routine.

Maybe tomorrow I won’t have enough sanity left to sing.

Two more days passed in the same routine, on the second day my wraps had dried enough to wear. After the guards had been and silenced me for the day, I gently wrapped the material around me, trying to keep my leg still so I didn’t rattle the chain that connected my leg to the middle of the room.

Six more days and my nails had grown back enough to start tallying again, except I didn’t get off the bed except to sing.

Another four days passed and I was given a small bucket to bathe in. They collected the bucket when they stopped my singing.

The next day, my routine was interrupted.

Around the time I was given my one and only meal for the day, two guards entered my cell holding chains in their hands. The sound of the chains gave me a sense of peace; I knew it was time for me to die. I didn’t panic.

“Get up,” one of the guards said. I didn’t move, waiting for them to kill me now. “Get her up.”

The second guard grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet, pulling me to the middle of the room. The guard holding the chains attached the manacles to my wrists, seeming shocked at my lack of resistance. As the iron clamped onto my wrists, I lost complete contact with my magic. The second guard held my arm whilst the one with the chains removed the manacle from my leg and replaced it with the ones he held.

With the last length of chain, he joined the two chains together to restrict my movement. Once they were attached, they held my arms and led me out of the dungeon. If I had any energy left, I might have kept track of the number of stairs, doors, corners, or even windows we passed. Instead I let them lead me to my death.

They stopped me in front of door highly decorated double doors, the kind of door that led to a throne or court room. The first guard, the one that had attached my chains, knocked on the door loudly, asking for permission to enter. The answering groan from the opening doors was their acceptance. They led me into the large, heavily decorated room, forcing me to kneel before a raised platform.

I heard the soft footsteps of quality leather boots on the cobblestone floor, telling me a noble man was here to give me my sentence. I felt a hand run over the top of my head, picking up a lock of my hair. The hand dropped my strand of hair, letting join the rest that fell down my shoulders, nearly grazing the floor.

The hand caressed my cheek before snaking under my chin and forcing me to look up at the person. Rage flooded my body as I recognised the face I had tried so hard to forget. I felt a scream escape my throat and I lunged at the man, forgetting the chains on me.

The chains stopped me from moving properly and I landed on my side, the man out of my reach. My bones ached from the impact and I felt tears escape my face, more than I had ever let out before. The hatred I felt for the man in front of me took over me and I tried to get up, except the two guards quickly grabbed my arms. They hauled me to my feet but stopped me from taking another step.

“I’ll kill you, you bastard!” I screamed at him, trying to pull out of the guards grip.

“So you do remember me then, Lyla?” He moved closer to me. I stopped thrashing at the guard grip, staying still as he brought a hand up to my face again. I flinched away as he touched my skin. “You haven’t changed a bit have you?”

“I don’t know, haven’t had access to a mirror in a long time.”

“Thirteen years actually,” he informed me, twisting a lock of hair in between his fingers.

“If you’re going to kill me, just do it, Silas” I told him through gritted teeth.

“Why would I kill you?”

“Because if you don’t, I will keep trying to kill you,” my answer didn’t even seem to faze him. Instead he dropped my lock of hair and began to circle me like a vulture.

“I’m not going to kill you,” he whispered into my ear from behind me.

“Then what do you want?”

“Surprisingly, your help, Princess,” he stepped in front of me, taking a step back.

“Why would I help you? My parents are dead because of you! You threw me in the dungeon! I’ve lost most of my sanity, my magic, even my memories,” my voice started to break and I felt tears escape my eyes again. “You are completely insane! I’ll be more helpful to you dead than alive!” I started to yell, he covered my mouth with his hand and the guards held me still when I tried to shake them off.

“You’re going to help me, for your people. And I suggest you calm down princess, those chains you’re wearing aren’t normal. The more emotional you are, and the more energy you exert, the weaker you will become.” He took his hand off my mouth, and gestured for the guards to let go of me. As soon as the guards let go, I felt how weak my legs had become. I felt like I was standing on jelly and my bones started to shake.

“Can you feel it?”

“You’ll feel my hands around your throat in a minute,” I hissed at him, attempting to take a step forward. My legs collapsed as the chain continued to sap my strength. I cried out as I hit the floor and the chains bit into my skin.

“I see 13 years in the dungeon hasn’t taught you to listen, get her up, and take her away,” he turned away from me as the guards followed his orders. “Chain her up and then come and get me.”

“Yes sir,” the guards said in unison before dragging me out, feet sliding on the floor. My anger continued to rise inside me and the chains sapped my strength. As the chain continued to take my energy, I struggled to stay alert, sagging further into the guards arms, at some point I must have passed out completely because the next sight I saw was a smooth stone wall.

My arms hung above me, attached to a hoop on the wall. My hair blocked my vision over my shoulder so I couldn’t see the room behind me, but when I looked down, I saw I still had my wraps on, although I had been left barefoot with the chains on my ankles.

“You have a lot more anger than I expected, thought you would have woken up before now,” Silas said from behind me. “I thought we could talk better in here, but keep in mind, you are still wearing the same chains as before.”

“What is there to talk about? I refuse to help you, just kill me,” I heard him move closer to me and felt him brush my hair over my left shoulder. I tilted my head away as he leant in close to my ear, his hand holding a fistful of my hair.

“There is plenty to talk about Princess,” he said, pulling my head back so I was pulled back away from the wall and my head was next to his. “You see, the people want to see you on the throne. The story of how you managed to escape to somewhere private after the assassination attempt isn’t keeping them complacent anymore. If we don’t put you on the throne we may have a riot on our hands. They aren’t ready for us to take over just yet.”

“You want a puppet on the throne? Why would I do that? Let the people riot,” I whispered, my breath strained from the stretch in my neck.

“You will do that for the safety of your people. A riot will result in a lot of death, and even if they manage to overthrow us and find you, you won’t have a populace to rule.”

“I’d rather have no throne, than your servant.”

“Be smart here Lyra, I’m offering you freedom,” he said with a defeated sigh, letting go of my hair.

“You are not offering me freedom! You are offering me a pretty cushioned cage! I will not be a puppet for you!” I called over my shoulder.

“If you won’t do it willingly, then I will force you to do it,” he said as he moved away from me.

“You have nothing to blackmail me with, my family is dead and I’m here! How can you force me to be a puppet?”

“With this,” I heard the lid of a wooden box open and a melodic hiss, a sound I had been familiarised with in my childhood. “Guard, strip her.”

The panic I had been keeping away flooded my body as a knife slid down my back and my wrappings fell away. I pressed myself forward into the wall and tried to calm my shaking.

“You remember what this is?” Silas called cheerfully from the back. “Turn her around,” I tried to kick the guards away as they turned me, forcing my arms to twist painfully. “Say hello to your new friend Lyla, the Dicio Snake. Do you know how hard it is to breed these snakes? I started breeding them the da you were born, and now I have enough to keep you under my control until your spirit is completely broken, or you die.”

“Don’t put that on me,” I pleaded, my voice shaking uncontrollably. I had been warned about the Dicio Snake since I was old enough to learn. This snake was able to take control of your body by possessing your magic. Whoever bred the snake was able to order it around. Once the snake had bitten you, you had five minutes to remove it before it poison worked its way through your magic, I had been told it was an incredibly painful experience. The Royal family bred them to interrogate prisoners charged with treason.

The snake Silas had in the wooden box was a bright yellow with alternating green and blue stripes along its body. Its head poked up over the box and focused its black eyes on me, once they saw me, they changed colour to red.

“I wouldn’t have to if you would agree to our deal. OK, he’s seen her, turn her around and let’s do this.” Silas held the snake as its red eyes focused on me completely, the first person the snake saw became its victim.

I thrashed against the guards as they turned me back around and pushed me right against the wall.

“Get off me!” I screamed as I tried to buck and push the guards away. They didn’t budge at all. I felt a fifth hand on my back pulling my hair over my shoulder again and scales slid up the middle of my back, Silas had put it on me. “No!” I screamed as it slid up between my shoulder blades.

I felt it flick its tongue out on my skin and a sting as its fangs latched on either side of my spine. I screamed as the fangs sank deep into my skin.

“Get it off me!”

“Be a willing puppet for me,” he whispered into my ear as the body of the snake wrapped around my torso. I felt its poison working its way through my body quickly.

“No one is going to believe that I’m making my own choices with this thing on me!”

“They won’t see it, I’ve had dresses designed to hide the snake. You’re running out of time to choose Princess, your lack of muscle and food makes this process a lot quicker.” It felt like a fire had lit under my skin. “Oh, you’re starting to get a fever, this is going quicker than expected, I’d say you have all of a minute left, last chance princess.”

“Just get it off of me!”

“Say it!”

“I’ll be your puppet, just get the snake off of me!” I screamed.

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