#also strings* not wires tf

[buggedstar]

also did i mention that i now have a springtrap plushie :3

he is sitting on my desk always watching over me teehee

[aemiron-main]

They Are Everyone and They Are No One vs I’m Not Everyone and No One Except For Me

So, in The Matrix, Morpheus tells Neo about how Agents (like Agent Smith) are “everyone” but also “no one,” because the agents can “possess” anyone that’s in the Matrix & hasn’t been woken up, and so, the agents are both everyone and no one because not everybody is actually an agent, but an agent could suddenly be anybody at any time.

Which, agents being “everyone,”/the use of the word “everyone,” here makes me think about TFS Henry saying “I’m not everyone,” to Patty after Patty says that everyone asks her if she knows who her real mom is:

And it also makes me think of TFS Brenner saying “no one else except for me” to Henry:

So, agents are both everyone and no one, and Henry isn’t everyone (and therefore not really paralleled to an agent) but Brenner IS no one (and therefore IS paralleled to an agent).

And this all gets extra suspicious considering what I talked about in this post re: TFS, Patty, Brenner and Agent Smith.

And what’s extra interesting is the other uses of the word “everyone,” in ST- for example, I talked in this post about Dustin’s “everyone in this room,” line and how it connects to NINA and Henward and it’s interesting that all of the Hawkins gang in the Creel house are now also grouped under being “everyone,” (a gang that Mike and Will and El are now pointedly absent from during this scene/during S4).

And I also talked in this post briefly about Henward’s “everyone is a prisoner,” line:

Which, in NINA, “everyone” includes all of the lab kids/El’s brothers and sisters, as well as the guards and the nurses, and it ALSO includes Henward himself this time, which is different than TFS Henry who wasn’t included in “everyone.”

But oddly enough, it doesn’t include El:

So, TFS Henry isn’t “everyone,” but NINA Henward is “everyone,” and so, therefore, TFS Henry isn’t paralleled to an Agent from The Matrix, but NINA Henward is, and TFS Brenner is as well, and then El isn’t everyone.

And also, El not being included in “everyone,” makes me wonder if that’s part of why Henward was talking about her being “superior”- because she’s Not Everyone, and therefore, in the context of The Matrix parallels, she’s not an agent/might be resistant to being possessed by an agent.

And then that also ties back to TFS Henry, with TFS Henry also Not being Everyone, and therefore, also likely not being an agent/might be resistant to being possessed by an agent.

And what’s extra weird about El not being included in “everyone,” is the fact that El gets referred to as “who,” by the nurse, which, as Stav has pointed out, is a word associated with Brenner. So, El isn’t everyone, but she IS “who,” and TFS Brenner IS “no one,” but in-show/NINA Brenner also isn’t included in “everyone,” just like El isn’t. What the hell is going on???

And like, I know I’ve talked about the idea of Brenner puppeting Henward during the NINA massacre sequence because of Henward’s sudden demeanour change and Brenner-esque hair change, but now I’m also staring at the idea of Brenner puppeting El within NINA.

After all, not only is El equal to “who,” in NINA, AND both her and Brenner aren’t “everyone,” but also, Brenner literally connects her to a bunch of wires that give the visual of puppet-esque strings, and then sits up in his control panel area telling her what to do:

And also, this little bit is more of a stretch, but TFS Brenner is “no one,” and then when NINA El gets called “who,” it’s in the context of her “being no one”/no one being there/El has disappeared because she ran down the hallway:

And then there’s ALSO the fact that the shots of El running down the hallway after the “who,” line are very similar to the shots of Vecna going down the hallway in Nancy’s vision- which is also a parallel to Flayed Bruce from S3 going down the hallway- so, right after El gets called “who,” she’s paralleled to Vecna & to a flayed middle aged man. Is it just me, or is that a little suspicious, especially with the context of Brecna and Brenner’s connection to the shadow/the mindflayer???

And also, speaking of Bruce and the S3 hospital scene, it drives me insane that there’s the line directed at Tom Holloway about “it’s not you,” and “he’s making you do this,” versus a.) Patty saying “it’s not you” to TFS Henry and b.) what i talked about in that hospital post re: “he’s making you do this,” versus NINA Henward talking about Brenner moving people around like pieces on a chessboard versus what I’ve talked about here and in posts like this post and this post re: Brenner puppeting people/possessing people Agent Smith style and his connection to the shadow, and then there’s also the parallel between “whatever you’ve done,” versus Brenner saying “what have you done”:

And then there’s ALSO the “whose blood is that” line directed at Tom during this exact scene versus Brenner being “who,” and Brenner Sr (and Henry) in TFS both having the weird Dimension X blood:

And what’s even weirder about all of this is the fact that when El got called “who,” she had been claiming that she had a headache- versus Brenner Sr’s and his crew’s headaches aboard the Eldridge and all of the Brenner-Who stuff. Not to mention Brenner Sr’s invisible man parallels versus El disappearing during the “who,” scene/being “invisible” in that sense:

And what’s EXTRA weird about the “who,” thing is Patty’s use of the word “who,” in that line i mentioned in the beginning re: how everyone asks her who her mom is:

So- Brenner is “who,” NINA El is “who,” and Patty’s mom is “who.”

Which, this brings me back to Brecna- Brenner, El, and Patty’s mom all being “who,” versus the Brecna stuff & what I said re: those shots of El being paralleled to Vecna versus Patty’s mom and Vecna’s habit of dressing up like mothers and the weird, Vecna-esque version of Patty’s mom:

What is going on?????

And also, as a little sidenote, Patty saying that “every one” asks if she knows who her real mom is makes me think of a.) the multiple 001s & “every 001” asking Patty about her mom & the fact that in The Matrix, Neo (also known as The One), has actually had multiple iterations of himself/there’s been multiple versions of The One, all of which have gone to The Oracle to ask things. Which, Patty has parallels to both The Oracle and to Neo himself, both Patty and Henry have Neo parallels, especially with Patty being referred to as “the anomaly,” in TFS versus Neo getting referred to as “the anomaly,” in The Matrix.

And it also makes me think of b.) the way that El is asks about her own mom versus “everyone” asking Patty about her mom- although interestingly enough, even though El does ask about her mother, she doesn’t ask the same question about her mother that people ask Patty about Her mother- Patty gets asked who her real mother is, but El doesn’t ask who her mother is. El asks if she has a mother, she asks where he mother is, she asks if her mother is gone, but she doesn’t ask WHO her mother is:

Anyway! Lots to think about. What the hell is going on???

[belle-keys]

Matthew Novella Bind-Up Theory and TLH (slight tin-foil)

I wanna build on an awesome theory made by @fair-but-wilde-child cus I’m 1. Always down for TSC theories and 2. part of the Protect Matthew Squad and, their theory combines both of these passions of mine.

I never allowed myself to consider the possibility that my biggest wish may actually come true, and that is that Matthew might get a bind-up novella. Lots of people have all the receipts from Cassie about the Matthew novella so I won’t like repeat all of it, but the prospect seemed too good to be true for me!!! So like, I shut down my own hope with a single dark blanket of anguish which was: Matthew needs to like, live for a long time, if he’s gonna be the MC of a novella bind-up. I mean, I know Simon himself wasn’t immortal yet he got TFTSA but that was set in 2007 and all the historical shorts were told as flashbacks. If Matthew is living in 1903 then flash forwards would be awkward, right?

However, Matthew living would make so much sense in a way. Remember, Cassie specifically said that the Family Tree leaves out Shadowhunters who either became mundanes or Downworlders. And there are many allusions to Matthew becoming, ahem, immortal, in addition to the fact that Cassie may well indeed choose not to finish his character arc in its entirety in Thorns. (I don’t think it’s impossible by the way, but I want a good ole excuse for more Matthew content... I find Matthew’s emotional arc seems like it needs more page-time, and this is, after all, the same problem that led to Simon getting TFTSA i.e. him regaining his memory required time and growth which a novella bind-up allowed him to have.)

Here are some of my ideas about Matthew's fate if it's not a quintessential one:

1. Matthew leaving the mainstream Shadowhunter community: I’m not saying he’s becoming a vampire per se, but remember how Matthew waltzed into our lives in Nothing But Shadows claiming he didn’t wanna be a killing machine and wanted to enjoy life and art and poetry and not die young fighting demons? Yeah, it’d be peak literary irony if that turned out to be true. I know my baby loves Shadowhunting but the irony would be such a wow if this happened.

2. Matthew and Dorian Gray, Addie La Rue, Magnus Bane, all the hedonists: Matthew wants to live life and enjoy it and experience. He’s got the same wiring as these afformentioned characters that can’t be tamed by mundaneness. Like he’s going to Paris and likely will stay at L’Hôtel where Oscar Wilde himself died (and maybe will speak with his ghost!!!). Matthew becoming immortal isn’t, yunno, impossible. Imagine a novella with Matthew and his adventures throughout time, cus it’d thematically make sense if it happened to the “larger- than-life” character.

3. Matthew breaking the Law: I’ve said in one of my theories that the whole truth potion thing isn’t gonna just go away by the end of Thorns with no strings attached. Like, in the same way the yin fen issue wasn’t completely resolved at the end of Clockwork Princess for Jem, and his story had to stretch over a century for that to be fixed, I think that Matthew breaking the Law is gonna have some major repercussions. Plus the whole message Ty found at the Scholomance from 1904 seems sus, even if it’s just a date. (I don’t like the idea of Matthew in that grimy old place but whatever, it’s still possible).

4. Matthew and the Fae: Matthew keeps evoking imagery of the Fae, like remember when he was just making Fae buddies and the evil fairy called him the “fairest of children” and shit (love the pun)? Yeah, that’s a thing, but also this post made by Cassie is just so telling that there is one last novella bindup that’s gonna link TLH and TWP. Remember, the whole point of TDA and TWP is dealing with the Faeries and the Fae courts. And Matthew’s emotional arc in TLH is defined by his relationship with that pesky Fae. I find it hard to believe he isn’t a potential link. The Fairchild family’s symbol is that of fairy wings, don’t forget that.

Furthermore, I'm pretty sure there's gonna be a link between Matthew and Ty- maybe the Scholomance especially since Ty found that note dated from 1904 on the walls as OP mentioned. Plus Cassie teasing that Ty has something to do with her special project makes me think this is plausible.

Major issue with these theories and a counterpoint @fair-but-wilde-child brought up that I love to death:

How tf is it that Tessa, Jem and Magnus don’t know/have never brought up that this important dude is secretly alive?

What if Matthew’s adventures are based around him being in Fairie. Like what if, say, Matthew gets sent to the Scholomance against his will but he escapes somehow into Fairie. Imagine he spends like, a year in Fairie and gains a lot of wisdom and falls in love and some shit and then boom! He gets fricking rescued by one of TWP characters (imagine him being found by Ty or something). He thinks only a year has passed but it’s been a century. This solves thee “why don’t Tessa or Jem or Magnus or Catarina or Ragnor” know anything issue. Heck, maybe Matthew chooses to live in Faerie under some bargain and his friends let him go? Maybe it’s a secret only James and the squad know about? That is... tragic, but it’s a very tinfoil possibility that can explain his so-called “immortality” which makes a novella bind-up more feasible.

[arinbelle]

The Next Dance

A/N:I think I already made a post saying I don’t think Cassian is jealous, I think Eris and Nesta are friends by now, and I think Cassian and Nesta are some kinda couple from the time this snippet takes place. THAT BEING SAID- I still wrote a jealous Cassian fic bc why tf not? Also I didn’t proofread like I should have. It is what it is.

Also, this is not Eris hate, this is I think too much of his story, especially with Mor, is reminiscent of Nesta with Tomas, and I just don’t think they could easily be friends considering how triggering Nesta would find Eris to be. 

I know a lot of people are into Nesta and Eris as lovers (I’m sorry but ew) and then even as a brotp. I can get behind a friendship if there is obviously a solid reveal that he is no complicit in a lot of the things it’s assumed he is. Frankly, LOL, I dislike Eris as of now but that’s a personal thing. Anyways- this was in my mind all day and it’s finally done. 

I hope you enjoy! 

Tagging: @bookstantrash @sayosdreams @queenestarcheron @queenofbloodshed @moe8 @courtofjurdan @cassianscool @vasudharaghavan @greerlunna @allilal @perseusannabeth @sjm-things

Warnings: References to assault, sexual assault, and mature language

                                     -----------------------------------

Eris bowed gracefully to Nesta as their dance came to an end. The most civil Cassian had ever seen the oldest of Beron’s brood. Courtiers began to drift away as the next orchestral piece began, violins beginning a slowly rising hum of strings.

Cassian would have preferred to rip his pale throat out with his canines when the prick had sauntered over and interrupted them. Cassian and Nesta were having a vivid argument on why she was refusing to wear a weapon under her dress. She swore if she felt the metal she’d trip but Cassian wanted her to be safe. She hadn’t paid him any mind however, and he was sure she was about to give another valid retort when the slimy redhead had asked her if she would like to dance with him.

As the new High Lord of the Autumn Court, it would have been disrespectful for her to refuse, and to his surprise Nesta had pleasantly agreed. He hadn’t known she could dance so well. No, not well...perfectly. 

She was like a goddess come alive on the floor of the ballroom, a live wire of fire and steel, forged to be his undoing. 

And Cassian hadn’t said a word, barely batted an eye as he watched the scene unfold before him. She was doing it for appearances. He kept telling himself that. She wasn’t throwing back that feral delight that Eris had in his eyes. Wasn’t even meeting it halfway. 

No this was...this was about her. She danced for herself. She danced to her delight. Eris was only an ornament in her finale.

Cassian would have been lying however if he didn’t admit that the final rise and fall of the notes had him breathing slightly easier, and he released a breath he had been holding in for too long. Eris did not walk her back, but he did shoot a sly, vicious look at the Commander, and Cassian’s mind was filled with images of Mor’s tear filled expression. 

How the blood had matted to her blonde hair when they had found her with that note nailed to her womb. Cassian saw Eris walk away with his perfect, gleaming skin, and then he saw the scars that littered Mor’s body. Scars that had taken a full century to fade to pale, barely there blemishes. He wanted Nesta nowhere near him, but she had gone willingly. Hadn’t even stopped to throw him a glance before placing her slim fingers in Eris’ palm. 

Which was fair. It was fair. They had made no promises to each other, save for the ones that had been forged into their skin and souls between mussed sheets and bare skin. At least...not out loud.

Nesta glided over back to where he was standing, barely a hair out of place among the curls she had let out, different from her usual coronet for parties like this or the braid for training. She looked younger, even with the youthful expression that most High Fae often had when they were as new as her. Sometimes, Cassian forgot how young she was in comparison to his years. How much she had struggled and toiled and survived in her less than a quarter century of life. How he was very sure her pain rivaled even his own, and he had centuries more of it.

“You danced beautifully.” The words were out before he even had time to register the compliment spilling from his lips. It was true. He had danced for years with Mor, even Amren on a rare occasion. He had learned to waltz, and tango, and even do quick street dances with Azriel and Rhys when they were younger. None of them compared to how skilled Nesta’s could move. Could twirl, and spin, and weave herself with her partner and meld to the flow of the music.

A light blush stained her cheeks as she nodded her head at his words, a slight smile curving her full lips. She took the drink he had been holding for the entire time she had been with Eris, and took small sips as she focused her eyes on the dance floor in front of them. 

“Did you have fun?”

Did you have fun with him?

Nesta didn’t give a response right away, nursing his drink that he should have finished an entire song ago. Contemplating perhaps. Or perhaps she had figured out why his mood was so sour, as she always did.

“I missed dancing. I forgot how fun it can be.”

I could have taken you dancing if you had asked. 

Her eyes cut towards him then, a tinge of amusement dancing amongst the storm clouds and azure. “If I remember correctly, it is not the females that ask the males to dance. Gentlemen asked ladies for their hand in a dance, especially a waltz.”

He couldn’t stop the bite back, even though warning bells in his mind began to go off. “I’m not a gentleman sweetheart. And if you think a prick like Eris is, then I’m afraid I’ll have to be the bearer of bad news. But if you enjoy his company so much, why not go with him instead? I’m sure he’d enjoy your favor again.”

Outrage flashed on her face as she snapped her head away from the dancing and to him instead.

Cassian had done it again. How quickly he could strike discord between them with a few words. How easily she could do the same with a slash here and there of her own retorts. They were insufferable with each other. He knew that. She did too. Why they couldn’t stop going at each other’s throats sometimes- he never knew.

Without warning, she shoved the glass of liquor back into his cup, amber liquid sloshing onto his black dress shirt. And then she indeed left and made her way towards Eris.

Cassian didn’t stay to watch as he knocked back the liquid that tasted of scotch and Nesta’s lips, leaving the ballroom for his room much earlier than the party was meant to end.

                                           ----------------------

Cassian had meant to go back to his room and stay there, but this disagreement with Nesta, one she hadn’t even bothered to fight with him about, left him bothered.

He shouldn’t have said what he did. Had regretted the words as soon as they were out, as he did every time he let his temper run ahead of himself when it came to Nesta. He didn’t know if it bothered him more that he had almost blatantly accused her, of what he wasn’t sure, or the fact that she had looked so hurt underneath the rage, that she hadn’t even tried to argue back.

The Autumn Court’s skies were just as beautiful as their forests. Cassian took to the skies for the first time in weeks since these political meetings and parties had begun. He missed the mountains in Illyria, but he could begrudgingly admit that the Autumn Court’s night sky had a decent view of the stars and constellations. They even had some hills and mountains on the border side, but what Cassian enjoyed the most was the farmlands. 

From what Cassian knew about how Beron had run his Court, farmers were never too pleased with him for cutting too many of their profits. Never helping out during draughts and difficult seasons. He knew he’d be safe to walk and peruse the fields and forests around those farmlands anyways. They hated the High Fae of the Autumn Court who had deemed them lesser, whether it be for attention or respect. His wings and rounded ears would show another kindred spirit who despised most arrogant High Fae too. 

As he took rest on a hill overlooking the freshly tilled soil of what looked to be an expanding corn field, Cassian wondered what Nesta would be doing. Would she and Eris have danced another waltz, or three really given how long he’d been gone for? Would he have invited her back to his rooms for a drink? Maybe something more?

He never thought he could hate Eris anymore after what had happened to Mor. But then Nesta had danced with Eris, and all Cassian could think about was how that should have been him with her on the dancefloor.

“Are you done skulking or shall I come back after you’ve burned a hole into the corn stalks?”

Cassian hadn’t even heard her approach. She was getting good at her stealth techniques now. Upset as he was, a small bit of pride flared for her too.

Cassian didn’t turn around as she walked up from behind and sat down next to him. Her scent filled his senses and he felt the calm wash over him almost instantly. Even with the turmoil within, she was the presence he craved most for some sanity. A cursory glance from his side vision told him she had changed out of her ballgown to a dark tunic and leggings, matched to leather boots fit for anything but fancy dinner parties.

“Did you follow me?,” he asked quietly.

“Did you hear me?”

Right. So she had winnowed. He wasn’t sure how she had winnowed to him rather than a place, which the only way winnowing worked, but then again, nothing about Nesta’s powers followed the norm.

Even though he knew he shouldn’t have, the petulant part of him couldn’t help but ask. “Where’s your new friend? Perhaps he could light a fire for us, keep us warm in this slowly chilling autumn air.”

“Cassian,” Nesta admonished.

“Nesta,” he parroted back, fully aware of how quickly he was going to piss her off. But to his surprise, for the second time that night, she didn’t rise to the bait.

“Are you done now?” Her tone was forceful, and he couldn’t stop the lure of power in her eyes that called to him to stop, look, and never break away.

Silence stretched on for what seemed like eons to him, but was probably only a few minutes. Naturally, he broke first. Blinked, bowed his head, and mumbled an apology. Not an explanation, just a simple I’m sorry that would hopefully tide over what his words had fractured earlier today.

Nesta didn’t accept it. Or rather, she gave no indication that she did, even if those unwavering steely eyes remained transfixed on his own.

She demanded then, “Do you think I’m enjoying myself here? That this is a holiday for me to relax and make friends?”

How to answer this. 

No, I don’t think, or at least I didn’t think you were enjoying any of this. But then you danced with him. You danced with him and you even smiled at him, and it took you months to smile at me without it being sarcastic and in the middle of a fight, so I don’t know anymore.

“You tell me. I’d like to think you can pick better males than Eris to spend your time with, but maybe I’m biased.”

Nesta rolled her eyes at that and muttered that he wasn’t biased, just an ass. The snarl ripped out of him too quick for him to reign it in, but it didn’t faze Nesta in the least. She just rolled her eyes again.

“I would think as a Commander of the armies, you would understand what is at stake here.”

He snorted derisively. “What does that mean?”

She was losing patience now. He could hear it in the shift of her tone, the inflect of her words that happened when she spoke too fast and almost hissed at him. “I’m saying, we were sent here to tide things over with Autumn, especially now that Beron is gone, and most importantly, because we may in fact be in another war again. You know war Cassian. You understand it more than anyone else in the world, and you know we need the armies from here should it come to another battle. Just because Eris isn’t as shitty as his father, does not mean he will definitively help us if the need arises.”

Right, right and right again. That didn’t mean he had to like it.

“You’re right about Eris being slightly less of a prick than his father. In fact, if you know so much about Eris’ character, how come it was so easy for you to go back to him after your dance ended?”

She raised an arched brow at him, cool indifference slipping on to meet him. “You mean, why did I go to him after you told me to go to him? You tell me.”

Fuck. He had done that. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” It was easy to ask for forgiveness from Nesta. Mostly because he knew that she didn’t call him out on his bullshit for no reason, and he was usually nauseatingly guilty at what he had done by the time she did anyways. And he always meant it. She appreciated that and he knew it was because sincerity was something she preferred in people. Something most did not grant her.

Nesta pursed her lips before nodding her head slightly in acceptance. 

“I’m not an idiot you know.”

Cassian looked at her in bewilderment. Of course she wasn’t. She was the smartest person he had ever known in his life. During the entire span of his life he’d never met a person more intellectually present and aware than Nesta. Someone who learned and took in details so quickly she rivaled even his own ability to do so.

“I know that,” he told her softly.

“Then stop acting like I am. I know exactly who Eris is and what he’s capable of. But I can’t take personal feelings into account when I have a job to do. Out of everyone, you should get that the most.”

Damn but she was right. If she had refused him-

“It wouldn’t have looked good if I said no to him. It wouldn’t have secured him as an ally.”

“I know.” His eyes strayed from her face, unable to keep in contact with the gaze that promised a fight if he said something insensitive again. Her hands were tightly grasped in her lap and it took effort on his part not to grab one into his own and hold her tight to him. 

She began gnawing on her lower lip, a telltale sign he had learned that told him she was nervous or upset about something. “I know who he is, even if you think I’ve forgotten. I know full well about everything that happened with Mor and him- Feyre told me. What he did, or rather, didn’t bother to do. I know he and his brothers don’t stop Beron from hurting their mother. I know he’s a snake. I know Morrigan can’t stand to be in the same room as him most of the time they run into each other. I know he and the rest of his brothers tried to kill my baby sister and their own youngest sibling, and they would have if you hadn’t shown up.”

He nodded slowly, shocked at how she had summed up every indiscretion Cassian had kept against Eris all these years, agreeing with his own tally of wrongs the oldest Vanserra brother had committed too.

Nesta sighed tiredly and shook her head in irritation. “And I know we need him. We need his support. We need his armies. I hate it, but that’s what it is. Me being polite and nice to him is no different than the deals that Rhys made with him and Keir behind Morrigan’s back. And you know that, so don’t judge me for doing what needs to be done.”

He did grab her hand then, whether to comfort her own agitation  or soothe how much he missed her, he didn’t know. Drew his thumb in small circles on the underside of her palm before she twisted it to interlace their fingers. 

“I can’t stand him. He’s too...” Nesta trailed off unexpectedly, and he prompted her lightly with a small squeeze of their fingers.

No response.

Cassian tried something else then. Extended his wing around her back, curving it around to her front where the talon rested level with her eyes. It took a few moments but then she moved closer, leaning into his side and leaning her head onto his shoulder. Accepting his wing in comfort- accepting his comfort.

They didn’t move, didn’t speak for a long time, which worked fine for Cassian. It had been a long time amidst the meetings and forced pleasantries from court to court since it had been just the two of them.

“I was engaged once. Like Mor. When I was a few years older than she was I think.”

A beat of silence. 

“Did you know?”

Vaguely. Feyre had mentioned once or twice on Nesta’s engagement to some human man and how it hadn’t come to fruition. Something she was glad of she had eventually admitted, given the horrible reaction Grayson had had to Elain’s transformation, and Elain’s distraught reaction to the rejection.

“Yes,” he murmured into her hair, his fingers grazing small patterns into her waist.

She hummed at his answer, taking her time to go on. He didn’t mind. He would give her eternity even if she just filled it with silent contemplation. He’d listen either way.

“Eris reminds me of him.”

Cassian drew back in shock, forgetting her head on his shoulder for a fraction of a second before lifting his hand from her waist to grab her. But she moved back too, out of his reaching grasp.

“Why?” He had always assumed that perhaps they were good friends even if it wasn’t love between Nesta and her ex-fiancé. Had no idea how to process the fact that she considered the human man to be anything like Eris, who she had just said she couldn’t stand.

“He had brothers too, and none of them stopped their father from hitting their mother. Eris does the same. I know everything I need to about a man when he lets his mother be hurt like that. And then everything with Mor...” She stopped then, her face stricken in grief. His friend and Nesta had never properly gotten along, and he doubted they ever truly would. But he knew Nesta would always sympathize as another female for all that Mor had endured. Especially when it came to the assault Nesta still hadn’t disclosed any details about to him.

“How do you know he didn’t try to stop his father?” A dumb question if he’d ever asked one, but it couldn’t be helped. He didn’t like to think about Nesta being engaged to someone just as foul as Eris. Perhaps this was his way of ignoring the implications that were becoming glaringly obvious on how the engagement had likely been.

Nesta, to her credit, didn’t shut him down for the invasive question. “I’m assuming he didn’t, because if he had, he wouldn’t have felt the need to do the same with me.”

Fuck.

“Nesta,-”

She shook her head silencing him. “I don’t want to talk about it today.”

Cassian reached for her again, and she let him tuck her back into his side. Her small frame was warm against his chest and for the first time since the party had begun that evening, he felt like he was back home.

“If you do need to talk about it though, I’m here.” His fingers had wrapped into her tresses of their own accord, carding through the silky strands as she sunk closer into him.

Nesta murmured her assent and that was it. No more talk of Eris, or political agendas. No mention of the human filth that had hit her, and the one he suspected had also gone further. They would talk about it one day, whenever she was ready.

“You’re not a gentleman,” she said suddenly, and Cassian was taken aback by how unexpected the statement was.

“Er...well I’m not a man at all, so there’s your first problem sweetheart.”

She huffed as she turned her cheek from his chest and looked up at him in irritation. “Stop it. I mean when we talked earlier. I told you gentlemen ask ladies to dance, and you said you weren’t one.”

“Okay smartass. And?” He snickered at how the conversation they were having, so lighthearted from everything before.

A small furrow formed in between her brows and he almost pressed his fingers to the spot to smooth it over. Almost, except Nesta seemed to have forgotten her annoyance as she snuggled back into his chest, his arms instinctively coming up to wrap around her. That familiar silence that was comfortably them came back and Cassian resumed stroking her hair. 

Nesta spoke in a small voice then, almost muffled into his shirt. “You still should have asked me to dance. Gentleman or not.”

Oh. Oh.

“I...should have.”

“Hmm.” It was a scoff more than anything, but she was right.

A smile curved his lips as they grazed her forehead in a soft kiss. “If I asked you, would you have said yes?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll ask you next time.”

Nesta tsk’ed at his words. “You’re only saying that because Eris danced with me first.”

“I know. It should have been me.” 

Should have been me always for you.

She scoffed at him again, but made no move to leave his embrace. Practically in his lap at this point with how she’d curled into him.

He felt her smile without looking at her. “You don’t even know when the next time will be for a dance.”

“Sure I do,” he bragged, grabbing her free hand and pressing a kiss to the knuckles.

“Oh?,” she asked laughingly.

“Yes. Next time, at our wedding, I’ll be the first to ask you to dance Nesta.”

Nesta went stiff against him. He had expected it to some extent. They had barely even talked about who they were, let alone marriage. The silence came again, but this time it wasn’t the one he was used to between them. This one was awkward, and cold, and it threw him into a panic. He shouldn’t have said it, shouldn’t have even suggested the glimpse into his heart without knowing her own feelings on the matter. Especially not after what she had revealed about her previous fiancé.

Nesta sighed tiredly, before finally responding to his explosive comment. “I’m not waiting until we’re married for a dance Cassian. That’s too long for just one dance. You don’t even have a ring.”

“You don’t know that. I could have a ring.”

She did pull away from him at that. Surveyed his face with the mirth matching in her own expression. “You do not have a ring Cassian. Where would you even keep it?”

“What if I told you it’s in our dresser? The one where you said you’d organize the dresses you don’t wear anymore, except you never organized them so it’s very conveniently kept there and has been there for months now because I can count on you to never do the chores you promise to do.”

Shock flitted over her face for a moment and then it was gone. Her eyes narrowed to blue ringed slits. “You’re lying.”

“And if I’m not?,” he purred low into her ear, nipping the pointed tip as she thought about her answer. Nesta smirked at that, pushing him lightly on the chest so there was distance between them. Distance he didn’t want.

“Ask me to dance first and then we’ll see about marriage.” Nesta settled back into his arms, not waiting for a reply.

“Alright sweetheart,” he finally settled on. It wasn’t an outright no, and for him, for them, it was a sure win.

They must have stayed for hours on the hill, overlooking perhaps the only lovely part of the Autumn Court. When dawn finally broke on the horizon, he flew them both back to the now ended celebration, carrying her to the room they’d been given for their stay. Nesta had been asleep from the moment he’d brought her up in the air on the flight back. But as she settled into the covers, still half-asleep, she muttered into his ear when he pulled her close.

“You were kidding about the ring, right Cassian?”

“Organize the dresser like you said you would and you’ll find out sweetheart.”

“I don’t want to,” she pouted, eyes shut tight in irritation at her possible new chore.

“Then I’ll give you the ring anyways.”

Nesta pondered it, but then tucked herself into his chest, her leg slipping between his. “Alright. That works.” 

And then Cassian was claimed by sleep, very sure Nesta had essentially said yes to his convoluted marriage proposal.

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Nobody asked for this but I'm gonna do it anyways...

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Fluff Alphabet: Takeru/Aguni Edition

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

A = Attractive what do they find attractive about the other?

Takeru: only reason he let Aguni wear regular clothes and not swimwear is because he saw ARM in that tank top and was like "oh damn okay 😳." So, y'know, that. (And he'll never admit it but he kinda likes how Aguni is a little bit taller than he is....) Also likes that Aguni has a really dry, deadpan sense of humor—he ways finds a way to make Takeru laugh, even when he's not really trying.

Aguni: I think the physical aspect of things wasn't really a make-or-break for him at first—like, yeah, Takeru's a good-looking guy, but that's secondary. He liked how Takeru is such a live-wire, very loud and colorful and seemingly fearless, no matter what kind of trouble they got into. (But also...he likes the hair. That's a thing for him.)

B = Baby do they want a family? why/why not?

Takeru: If they end up with one somehow, then, sure. But, like. He's not going out of his was to make it a thing. (But also, he has his cat, Ziggy, who he calls his baby, so...)

Aguni: Would secretly love to be a dad but is too worried he might mess the kid up or something. Is more than happy to be 'unofficial parent' to the neighborhood kids, though. Handing out ice pops to the kids that show up at the shop, keeping an eye out and telling them to get home before dark, maybe even showing one or two of them how to throw a better curveball...you know. Real Hallmark channel shit. (And yes, for those who were wondering: Ziggy the cat loves him and often curls up on his lap while he watches TV)

C = Cuddle how do they cuddle?

They don't really "cuddle" outside of bed. Just kinda sit next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, no big deal. But in bed, Aguni lies on his back with his arm sorta outstretched while Takeru...well, my man is worm on a string but OFF the string, he just flops all sorts of ways and a lot of them don't look comfortable but he falls asleep in minutes so whatever.

D = Dates what are dates with them like?

I don't think they do "dates"—they've got a long-term thing going on, so they often end up on the couch eating takeout and watching movies. I think they'd go to the movie theater sometimes (and talk shit for the entire film lol) and every once in a while grab dinner somewhere nice...but, usually because they have some cool limited-time-only dessert item that Takeru insists they try. (And Aguni pretends to be upset about having to get dressed up and go out, but is actually rather pleased to have a little romance...and get something to satisfy his sweet tooth.)

E = Everything you are my ____ (e.g my life, my world…)

Aguni: Emergency Medical Contact

Takeru: Co-Signer On The Apartment Lease

F = Feelings when did they know they were falling in love?

Takeru: About a week after Aguni (drunkenly) confessed his crush. Literally spent a whole week like, "Wow, it's a shame I don't love him back. He's so kind and handsome and smart and funny...too bad, I guess..." until one night he sat up straight in bed and said "Hold up." He then immediately called Aguni and began demanding why Aguni didn't tell him he was in love with him this whole time.

Aguni: They had been friends since they were kids, so it's hard to say when his feelings went from "you're my best friend" to something different. But, once he figured it out, he swore never to mention it because that could complicate their friendship.

G = Gentle are they gentle? If so, how?

Takeru: Yes and no. He's got a bad case of "grabby hands" and often yanks Aguni to and fro to look at something or whatever. Just zero respect for the man's personal space. But otherwise...I imagine he's not particularly rough or gentle, just kind of normal. EXCEPT when it comes to the emotional stuff—like, the real heavy things. I think he's very gentle with that, not asking too many questions and just sort of taking care of him where he can.

Aguni: Generally gentle—physically, emotionally, whatever. But I do think that he's confrontational, like when there's an issue, he comes straight out and asks Takeru what's going on. Even corners him, sometimes. He seems like a "no bullshit" guy, and since Takeru is "Mr. 99% Bullshit" he's gotta deal with it as best he can.

H = Hand/Hold how do they like to hold hands?

The only time they "hold hands" is when Takeru is grabbing Aguni's wrist to drag him somewhere (or run away lol) and when Aguni is pulling Takeru's hand back to stop him from touching something...

I = Impression first impression/s

I headcanon that they met very young, like grade school age. After school, in the park, where Takeru was chilling in a tree and Aguni walked by and he was like "Hey, there's a spider up here, wanna see?" and Aguni is like "Not really, I don't like bugs..." Now, Takeru, being "weird bug kid extraordinaire" can't believe his strange little ears and hops down from the tree and starts explaining why bugs are so cool and that Aguni is wrong...and Aguni listens as this funky, tiny firecracker just talks his damn ear off. Aguni liked how excited Takeru got about things, and Takeru liked how Aguni actually listened to him. And they were fast friends after that!

J = Joker are they into pulling pranks?

Takeru fucks around all the time...and doesn't often find out, because Aguni tolerates all his antics. (To a certain point, but still.) Every once in a while, Aguni will tell some harmless little lie just to watch Takeru freak out—he told him once that Lady Gaga was leaving the music scene forever, and Takeru screamed so loud the neighbors filed a noise complaint.

K = Kisses how do they kiss?

I think they most often do quick pecks—at the breakfast table, when they get home from work. You know. Domestic stuff. But when it's not like that...I think 9/10 times it's Takeru initiating, and Aguni reciprocates by wrapping his arms around him in a big hug (because he likes it but also to keep that skinny little weirdo from wiggling so damn much, he's always moving, he can't just be still—)

L = Love who says I love you first?

Neither! I don't think they really say it at all! Why say something that doesn't need to be said? (At least, that's how they see it...)

M = Memory their favorite moment together

Aguni: It's not really a memory, but...just how they have breakfast together some mornings. Sipping coffee, discussing whatever's going on in the world, the general "togetherness" that comes with it is one of his favorite feelings.

Takeru: The time they spent a full 24 hours in a karaoke booth singing 80's hits and knocking back tequila shots and ordering way too much food.

N = Nickel do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

Takeru: Absolutely buys stuff for Aguni all the time. Mostly random snacks, or little knick-knacks that catch his eye. And also clothes, but...Aguni doesn't always approve.

Aguni: Doesn't buy Takeru stuff BUT leaves vases of flowers he grew on the table for Takeru to find.

O = Orange what color reminds them of their other half

Anything bright and obnoxious reminds Aguni of Takeru—red in particular, which also happens to be Takeru's favorite. And Takeru thinks Aguni has calm and soothing blue-green vibes. Like the ocean, beautiful and serene, but also dark and capable of incredible destruction.

P = Petnames what pet names do they use?

Takeru: All of them. Darling, babe, sweetheart (but he calls everyone those lol). Aguni-specific ones are always over-the-top and ridiculous like "brightest star in all of the heavens..." and he always gets an eye-roll for his efforts.

Aguni: Absolutely does not use pet names. Just says "hey you" or something. Once called Takeru "babe" and Takeru had to stop washing dishes and sit down because he was laughing so hard.

Q = Quaint what is their favorite non-modern thing?

Takeru: I feel like he would collect a ton of vintage stuff—clothes, records, just random little bits and bobs he comes across. But his favorite is definitely his record player—it belonged to his dad, and he keeps it in a place of honor in the hat shop.

Aguni: A set of very old and well-cared-for gardening tools. Takeru got them for him for his birthday, and he legit treasures them.

R = Rainy Day what do they like to do on a rainy day?

Lay on the couch and do literally nothing. Takeru gets the left end, Aguni takes the right, and they binge trash TV shows all day. (And also they make box-mix brownies and eat them straight out of the pan. It's "their thing.")

S = Sad how do they cheer themselves/each other up

Takeru: Aside from all his self-destrictive behaviors (binge-drinking, dangerous situations, etc.) he just really needs a good laugh. And Aguni somehow always manages to make him laugh with an unexpected, deadpan comment. Also, he makes Takeru actually talk through his problems instead of ignoring them...

Aguni: if he's in a bad mood, you just need to let him work through it on his own. He hates being "talked down to" and feels that most attempts at cheering up are cheap, so most people don't attempt. Buf...Takeru is not "most people" and breaks out his most ridiculous jokes to try to get Aguni to crack a smile.

T = Talking what do they love to talk about?

Other people! You know Takeru is the "XOXO Gossip Girl" of the neighborhood, but Aguni...he's like a little old church lady and ADORES hearing all the latest drama.

U = Unencumbered What helps them relax?

Both of them have the same method of relaxation and it's...bubble baths! Aguni does a basic, skin soothing soak and just hangs out in the warm water with a book or maybe just his thoughts to keep him company. But Takeru? He's got some fancy bath soaps, and he takes in a glass of wine and lights a few candles and does a face mask and it's a whole EVENT.

V - Very thoughts about each other

Takeru: Thinks Aguni needs to loosen up and take more risks...but also just loves the guy to pieces.

Aguni: Kinda wishes Takeru would calm tf down sometimes...but also knows that it's just how the guy is and wouldn't dare change him.

W = Wedding when, how, where do they propose?

They're not really the marrying type! They just have a mutual understanding of commitment and that's that.

(But if they did have a wedding... I think it would be a relatively small affair with all their closest friends and family. Like a dinner party, but somewhere extra nice and with lots of good food and alcohol. Intimate and meaningful, with just enough "extra" to satisfy Takeru.)

X = Xylophone What’s their song?

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" because they hid out in a karaoke booth (different from the 24-hour event that Takeru cherishes so much) to es ape the Yakuza and Takeru sang it over and over to pass the time.

Y = You the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

"Breaking" to my "Entering." The "Assault" to my "Battery." (They both hate this sort of thing and try to come up with the worst answers possible lol)

Z = Zebra if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

They already have the cat, Ziggy, who is their perfect little angel.

[solcheeky]

oh my God i would love to see you write something for donghyuck where he prepares a gift for his s/o's birthday then tries to do EVERYTHING in his power for her not to find it before the day comes!! also a flustered!donghyuck at the end would be so cute but u dont have to c:

the moment you burst through the kitchen door in surprise, donghyuck immediately shoves whatever was on the plate in front of mark right into the his mouth

and without fail, mark thoroughly chokes under donghyucks palm, loudly shoving his chair backwards and clamping a hand over the kids wrist in attempt to stop the force feeding

as a result of rushing to stand over marks right side, donghyuck almost topples over when the side-post of marks chair pushes into his hip

you look between the tears forming in marks eyes and the tense smile strung across donghyucks face

“is everything.. okay?” 

“yeah!” donghyuck says a little too loud. “right mark?” he slaps marks back harshly

the teary-eyed boy muffles an unconvincing ‘yes’ before throwing a shaky thumbs up in your direction

its only then you notice the apron donghyuck is sporting and the mess of the kitchen he’s made, making you momentarily forget about marks stuffed face

“you’re cooking again?!” you rush forward to see what he’s made, “it’s been so long! oh my god I missed your cooking-”

“ah-” he intercepts your beeline to the table, quickly stepping around while throwing his apron off, and slipping a warm arm around your waist. “no I- mark hyung ate it all.”

you try to peak over his shoulder but the hand on your body squeezes at your waist and his other pulls at your chin so your line of vision is blocked by his head

“what are you doing?” you frown

he blinks at you, “I missed you.”

then he presses his lips onto your mouth and you have to refrain from stepping back at how weirdly off that felt

“well, I missed your cooking” you huff, trying to ignore that kiss

but you push back at his chest to find that mark had already scrambled to clean the table

“it’s gone! too late.” mark coughs up. “sorry man, it was so good I ate it all.” then he gulps the rest of it that was in his throat so harshly it looked like it hurt

“yeah, mark’s an idiot.” from behind you, donghyuck gently pulls at your pinky finger with his index

but regardless of his gentle touch, you send him the most questionable side-stare (giving mark the opportunity to shoot daggers his way too) before you look back at the empty table

“you guys are acting super weird”

the next time donghyuck almost gets caught, he has to hide behind the short aisles of fruits

“hyuck said he was busy at the studio today,” he hears you over the phone. “I know. that’s why I’m picking up a couple of things at the supermarket.”

ducking even lower, he presses his back against the rows of oranges and pulls his shopping cart as close to his chest as possible

seriously, can he not catch a break? what are the chances of bumping into you here?

“why? you need anything?” you say into the line again, pushing your cart into the other side of the aisle donghyuck was sitting against

yes, sitting against.

donghyuck was more willing to be on the floor of the supermarket looking like a total idiot than to be caught by you

“anyways, you were saying? you wanted to tell me about the ghost who what? moved your bottle under your bed?”

donghyuck thanked the universe that you were distracted on the phone; he needed to get out there, quick

“oh shut up renjun” your laughter sounding even closer than before

renjun? it takes him a moment till-

renjun. thank fuck for that ghost-loving conspiracist

donghyuck immediately scrambles to grab his phone from his back-pocket

with one hand on the bar of his cart and the other typing away under renjun’s contact name, hyuck crawls on his knees in the opposite direction you were going

emphasis on crawls on his knees. donghyuck likes to think he’d never get on the gross floor like this for anyone

[hyuck] 3:09PM, tell y/n to buy you bread

since the bakery section was the furthest away from the fruits

[renjun] 3:10PM, what tf you weirdo. you tell her

[hyuck] 3:10PM, jusdt do it!!!!!!

“what?” you pause almost about to turn into the aisle donghyuck suspicious-looking-ass was crawling across, “he’s texting you? saying what?”

[hyuck] 3:11PM, dotn tell her !! !

he can feel the sweat down his back

[hyuck] 3:11PM, just say to get breadf plsd I’ll explainsd latrer

but renjun leaves him on read and the desperate, aisle-crawling boy’s heart drops

suddenly- “bread?” his ears perk up at your words, “that’s r.. okay, yeah. I can get you bread I guess.”

[renjun] 3:13PM, you owe me one asswipe :)

“why is everyone acting so strange lately?” you absentmindedly drawl into the phone, “huh? oh sorry- nothing nothing.”

then finally, when donghyuck can no longer hear you, he runs for the cashier, pays for the ingredients and ducks it out of the shop in record time

it’s been like this for the past week, sneaking around behind your back with the other members help, or constantly lying about things he needs to do and his schedule

donghyuck had been doing everything he could to prevent you from finding about his surprise

and when he says everything, he really means everything…

even when more than half of the credits have rolled up the screen, you refuse to leave the warmth of your spot tucked in donghyucks frame

with his arm around your shoulder, you snuggle perfectly up against his chest, both legs over one of his thighs and hands snug wrapped around his waist under his shirt

“that was a dumb movie,” donghyuck yawns, arching his back a little to release the heat down his spine

but you’re still so flushed against his body he lifts you with him

“I thought it was cute.” you say matter of factually squeezing his waist as if to tell him to stop moving. “you’re the dumb one”

“it didn’t make any sense! plus, how cliche is it to have that whole birthday fiasco like that”

“you practically made everyone kiss your feet on your birthday, hyuck.”

he holds back a laugh and puts a loose fist against his lips, “okay-”

“okay” you mimic in a silly voice

“-whatever.” then he pulls your head closer to yours, with a palm against your temple, to kiss your forehead

all this birthday stuff had you thinking..

“you’re not busy on monday, are you?” you try to sound as natural as possible

he knew didn’t he? well,, no pressure, or anything,,,,

donghyuck tries not to visibly gulp down the lump in his throat

“monday?” he pretends to think about something, “I don’t know I’ll have to ask our manager..”

but then it get really hard to pretend because he catches the glint of disappointment in your eyes

if lying about knowing your birthday was what will really set you off track of his surprise, he’d had to deal with this for now.

“okay” is all you say, your voice a little quieter than before

donghyucks heart strings pull at his chest

so he kisses your temple, then both your cheeks, before kissing your clothed shoulder

“okay” is all he can say back at the fake smile you wire across your lips

until monday, the memory of your dejected smile is what drives donghyuck to make the surprise even better.

[my fullsun] 8:45PM, rooftop in 5

that’s the first and only text donghyuck has given you today

[you] 8:46PM, what

but he doesn’t reply.

5 minutes later, you’re staring blankly at the closed door to the roof

the bottom of your soles going cold with a desire to back away, and palms all clammy because suddenly you feel nauseatingly nervous

and for what reason? you have no idea.

it’s only when you open the door and see the beautiful set up of hyuck’s lil picnic on the roof that makes all your worries completely subside

“do you know how hard it was to keep this from you?” donghyuck wears a lopsided smile on his face

“you’re way smarter than I thought” the tone in his voice never failing to seem that little bit more playful despite all his sincerity, “but, I guess.. not as smart as me..?”

he lets out a weak chuckle, scratching the back of his neck at your lack of response

and all of a sudden, you really don’t know why you have the urge to cry

“hyuck” you step forward to crash into his chest, “you’re the worst,” letting yourself snuggle into the warmth of his embrace as you laugh off your tears

“I know.” he says, understanding exactly what you mean. “happy birthday”

end.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

FTWD 5x02: Analysis

Hey Everyone! So who watched FTWD 5x02? I did, and enjoyed the episode. I’ll say up front that I have much less to say about this episode than I did about episode 1. This one felt more like…not exactly a filler episode. I think they’re setting up some important things. But we’re early enough in the season that it’s hard to say where these things are going. So it’s kind of a we’ll-just-have-to-wait-and-see-what-happens moment, you know?

***As always, spoilers abound below for FTWD 5x02. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Plot-wise, Morgan and Alicia ran into a new character. Her name is Grace (kinda want to read Christian symbolism into that name, but I won’t). She struck me as something of a Father Gabriel character. She managed nuclear power plants and, while she didn’t do anything directly to kill her people, she made questionable decisions that GOT them all killed. She seems decent and now she’s trying to make up for what she’s done by killing all the dead who are contaminated with the hazardous materials. That way, no one else contaminates themselves killing them. We also learn that she’s been exposed to the radiation in a way that means she probably doesn’t have long to live.

Meanwhile, Strand goes to find Daniel, and does so. The biggest thing to consider about Daniel is, again, that the last time we saw him, he was shot in the face. IN THE FACE, people. Also note that he doesn’t have any major, noticeable scars. @wdway looked for one. If he has one, it healed VERY well and isn’t in any particularly noticeable place.  

So, I’ve said this before, but this really isn’t about realism. More people survive head shots than the general public realizes. Are thy flukes? I suppose you could see it that way, but they’re common enough to make them…not uncommon. Is it realistic that Daniel survived? I honestly don’t know. I haven’t researched his specific wound enough to know for certain, and probably won’t. Go for it if you want. But the point is that, if the writers want a character to survive, they’ll find the science and come up with a way to make it plausible. So the argument that this is the apocalypse and Beth couldn’t have been saved simply, logically, doesn’t not hold up. Because it doesn’t matter if it’s realistic or not. It only matters if the writers want her to survive and have foreshadowed that. Which they have.

So, in terms of familiar symbols. Strand walks past a mattress billboard on his way to Daniel. It reminded me of when Negan burned TF’s mattresses in S7. Also, Daniel’s cat is named Skidmark, lol. That’s why the tape is named that. I think the last cat we saw in TWD was Jadis’s wire cat sculpture, so that may be important.

We also saw a wheel on its side. That made me happy. This was actually a car tire. The major time I remember seeing something similar was in 6x02 when the wolves attacked Alexandria. In that case, it was a bicycle tire, not a car tire, but otherwise it was exactly the same. This is another thing I’ll talk about later this week—wolf stuff—but it may play into some of our theories about the helicopter group.

We saw themes about people listening in on our group (kinda like Aaron listened to TF back in 5x10. We saw one shoe with a red shoe lace. And Luciana kept mentioning playing the accordion. So musical themes that were extremely random. There were black birds in cages and Grace wore a white radiation suit, so kind of a black and white theme.

Which leads me back to the radiation. The black and white theme (Bethyl) may mean something about this will lead to Beth. We can also tie it to the hazardous material we saw in TWD S8 when Father Gabriel lost his eye sight and Shiva died. That may have foreshadowed a larger hazardous material story line, and we’re wondering if this, in FTWD, is it.

They made a big deal about Morgan taking off his wedding ring to wash/decontaminate under it. Not sure where that’s going, but it reminded us of all the stuff with Rick’s wedding ring in previous seasons. And I couldn’t help but notice that Grace used water to decontaminate those who might have been exposed to hazardous materials. (Beth = Water.)

John and June found small cabins that were kind of like Oceanside’s dwellings. @wdway noticed a book on the shelf that said ‘Rome” on it. (Think Up the Wolves song.)

The group found some contaminated walkers who’d been burned. The problem with that is that it just released the hazardous material in the air. The people who burned them all died and Grace put them all down. She said they had accidentally killed themselves by doing something they thought would protect them. They focused on that so specifically, it felt like a theme to me, but I don’t have any idea where it might be going.

We also saw the wind knock over an antenna. So a thing where communications went down. We could tie that into the Communications theme. In fact, they’re using walkies and radios a lot in this season, and I’m sure we could read into that as well. In fact, there’s something I want to post about concerning that, but probably won’t until next week.

Morgan talked about his past to Alicia. Made an obvious reference to Eastman and his experience in 6x04. Remember, that had a lot of Beth symbolism in it.

Also, Morgan lost his signature stick. That felt important to me. It was contaminated with the hazardous material, and Grace said that, because the wood is porous, they couldn’t clean it. So I don’t know if he’ll get it back or not, but the loss of such a signature weapon for him—like Michonne’s sword or Daryl’s bow—felt significant. I kind of think he will get it back at some point, but we’ll have to wait and see.

Near the end, the mysterious group in the area—the one that’s been hanging walker heads in trees and stringing them across roads in red-rover lines—visited the truck stop where Luciana was. She didn’t see them, but heard strange noises and then when she passed out, they killed the walkers that chased her into the building and hung their heads on a billboard. Yeah, that’s not creepy or anything. Definitely intriguing, tho.

One other observation. Al went missing last episode and they didn’t find her yet. No idea when they will, but this feels a lot like 2a (search for Sophia) in that the season will be loosely structured around them searching for her, but the immediate conflicts will come from the issues they encounter along the way (like Grace, in this episode). So by extension, the search for Al is starting to feel a lot like the search for Beth. She was taken by a mysterious group. Walkers were involved. And now her group is searching for her. We saw the white and black theme here, which we also saw around Beth at Grady. So yea, I’ll definitely be keeping an eye on this moving forward.

That’s pretty much it. Like I said, lots of important things and setups here, but no major, smoking guns.

What did everyone else think of the episode?

[littlewalken]

Aug 19

Holding on one stitch at a time, or so it feels like.

If you’re a knitter, crocheter, or string stimmer, or you know someone who is there are little accessories you might not think of getting at first that will come in handy.

The big safety pin in the picture is a stitch holder. They come in packages of different lengths and colors so you can find one(s) that you are comfortable with. Believe me I know how the wrong color can set neurons on fire. Those pins also work for stitch markers, cable needles, and you can attach weights to them. The tube thing is a row counter, I also have one that clicks like a stop watch but some people don’t like clicks. 

The alphabet is my DIY stitch markers. Those are hook earrings with clasps, you can get a sizable amount for a reasonable price, and you’ll need jump rings to attach things to them. I happened to have the alphabet letters in my bead stash and have seen similar shaped ones in letter bead bracelet kits. You could also get some beading wire and smaller letters to make word markers like some people use in sock making. 

If you already do jewelry making stuff you could do some stitch markers for your string friend(s) for a gift. If not words pretty beads can work. Maybe a rainbow or favorite colors or numbers?

I hit on the alphabet when I was trying to make a Moebius strip infinity cowl thing and went the wrong way in a round. I needed something where in just a handful of markers I would know I was going the right way. 

Some tiny letter beads spelling out “stitch this way” might work. 

Had Hot Topic existed back then fu#k yeah Goff Barbie would have had a sponsorship. 

Carrots for the plot bunny farm might be found in that two long time members of The Cure who met in the touring band for the Thompson Twins found their way there via the Psychedelic Furs and one degree from Duran Duran and that Torn song which was used in the Karaoke for the Deaf skit. 

I think I’ll give it it’s own post because it requires a score card. 

More stitching today. I’ve cut out the offending who TF thought that color would work, Caron? color from their Fairy Cake yarn. Filling out the length with some Red Heart Super Saver white. Pics when it’s done or I think to take them. 

I am coming up with and mulling over plot points and stuff which counts as writing, just having general feelings of disinterest. Those come and go, it’s called being human. 

And I did order some yarn online. Stuck with a couple of the newer lion cakes as user pics I have seen and their own website shows the colors should be stunning. Also got some that should work to break up the Half Moon, the only reason it wouldn’t is if the weights aren’t compatible but it will work on it;s own. There is a back-up partner.

[dead-inside-pt2]

This just makes me wanna write a dystopian soulmates au where every soulmate is regulated by some overruling government

(please keep reading i promise it's better than it sound)

Alright so theres this aroace dude who absolutely hates the idea of having a soulmate (ik boring, uncreative- give me a second will ya?)

He's at a coffee shop (jeez kai can you get anymore cliche?) And all of a sudden this person plops down at his table and goes 'hey i didn't really meet you but i think we're soulmates'

he looks down at his mark, string, fucking bee sting idk whatever. It's glowing or something un-normal

In his head he's like fuck because now the government knows he's met his soulmate and they have to at least be friends or else... well we don't talk about that .

So anyways they do hang out (sorry again cliche i promise just stick with me) They're mostly just acquaintances but both share a deep disliking for the government and their soulmate system.

He learns their name and that they're a nonbinary lesbian (wow projecting much)

Anyways riots start building up against the government, more and more people fighting against the oppression and the tension within the country is running high.

The guy comes up with a plan, he's going to destroy whatever system is in place and he knows exactly who to go too- the one person he knows is just as chaotic and government hating as he is-

his supposed 'soulmate'

So they go on this huge adventure throughout a series of tunnels filled with high tech equipment which are continually matching people with their 'perfect' partner

They eventually make it to the centre console after a fuck load of close calls and maybe a bit of fighting robots (preferably dragon shaped, im ace and enby wtf do you expect kyle)

The console is huge, a center screen surrounded by wires and an endless lists of names displayed on the screen, some even recognizable

'What do we do now' They Spoke

'Well i don't know you're the tech expert' He glanced over at them

"I took one class in high school'

He glared at them once more

'Okay so maybe I took a few in college... and a couple online courses but I've only broke into the banks systems once, twice... okay fine a lot, you got me now move over you idiot'

They're entering in a few lines of code when the door bursts open, robot drago- i mean just robots, no dragon robots in sight- well maybe just one, no? fine

Anyways their rushing this code while the guys throwing chairs at the robots- i mean really he's just a regular dude how tf does someone fend off an army of robots sent to kill you?

That is until he finds a way- water, this may be an advance society but a janitors left over mop bucket can do a lot.

So he's finished dowsing these robots in soapy water as the person finishes up with the code when a giant fucking mechanical monster enters the room.

terror paralysis them both until the head pops off and two girls look over the edge 'You already did it?'

'Uh yeah?' he responds

'I could use some help finishing up though' they speak

'Sure thing sugar'

Alright this is getting long so they finish up while the guy and the other girl talk, they become pretty good friends, talked about DnD a lot

Afterwords they go to Olive Garden and watch the government fall from their seats as they ate breadsticks

(Btw The guy and the other girl become DnD partners and The person and the girl get married)

(Oh also other girl and the girl are sisters, they just really hated soulmates ever since a young age)

Hope this made sense i haven't planned this out in the slightest i could make this a little bit better but it's mostly just an outline of an idea i had. uhhh hope you like it- i thought the fact that it was another one of humans stupid ideas a lot more appealing then the universe doing it

I also really like anarchy if you couldn't tell

Please rant

hello! hi! anon! I assume this is about the soulmates thing i just posted and RANT I SHALL

(also @samatedeansbroccoli asked: I'd love to hear your 10 hour rant about soulmates. It used to be my favorite trope until the past recent years when I just don't find myself invested in it. I'm answering that here, with anon's ask.)

SO

1) It's unoriginal. Yeah, everything is unoriginal, but soulmates seems to be especially repetitive. OooOOooooOOOH, they're SOULMATES, but I wonder if they're going to work as a couple???????? gasp, they DID!!! I have never once read something with soulmates that actually made me worry in any capacity for the relationship. To me, soulmates feels like an incredibly lazy cop-out so the author doesn't have to develop the romance any more than they feel like it, because it's already ~fate~.

2) It's arophobic. As an aroace, romantic soulmates leaves no room for me. I literally do not feel romantic attraction. Soulmates as a trope erases me and other people like me from existence entirely, or implies we're broken. As someone who's been told dozens of times that I'm sad, weird, lying, immature, dumb, or worth pitying because I don't want romance and don't feel that attraction, I'm really fucking tired of soulmates waltzing in with it's "EVERYONE has this and if you don't youre BROKEN" shit. Even stories where it's just these 2 specific people are soulmates have arophobic undertones, because they always imply that this relationship is Better and More Pure than any other relationship in existence.

3) Even "platonic soulmates" are arophobic. Any world where soulmates are something *everyone has* (which is, like, most soulmates stories) is inherently erasing at least certain aros. A lot of us are non-partnering! Those of us who are don't want a partner, full stop, and are inherently erased by platonic soulmates, too, because that world implies that if your partner isn't romantic, they're platonic.

4) It creates such a stifling world. Any world where you're inherently going to have a partner just seems so... sad? There's no room for being your own person, it's all about who else you're supposed to end up with. It's not about you, the artist or you, the adventurer or you, the person who smiles so big. It's about you, XYZ's soulmate.

5) Like I said, it's sad, and that's never explored right, because people don't see it that way. But to expand: in a world with soulmates, you are not whole. You are inherently less when you aren't partnered up. You're not enough; you're nothing but half a soul, waiting for another entire person to make you actually worth a whole. You rely on other people to be worthy. Is this not extremely depressing to anyone else??? And yet, in the story, soulmates are always seen as something wonderful and amazing.

6) IT COULD BE GOOD IF PEOPLE LET GO OF THEIR GODDAMN AMATONORMATIVE "SOULMATES ARE AMAZING". Where's soulmates as a tragedy, people never being seen as good enough or whole because they don't have their "other half"? Where's soulmates as a horror story, being forced by society and your own conscience into a relationship you don't want, or you're afraid of, or you actively hate? Where's soulmates as a rejection, saying, I will be happy by myself or I will be happy with someone I *chose*; in general, just an I will be happy on my own terms? Where's soulmates as an examination of society, something asking why we hold partners--especially romantic ones--so high on a pedestal? Where is soulmates doing anything new, exploring any of it's possibilities?

TLDR: Soulmates are overdone, arophobic, lazy, sad but not seen as that, and have every single good aspect of them completely ignored in favour of "they're in love because the universe said so <3", and I'm so incredibly tired of them as they are being treated as even remotely good.