#also started and inspired after ramadan lol

[daredevil-vagabond]

(32:11) Say, "The angel of death who has been assigned for you will take you in full." ۞ قُلْ يَتَوَفَّىٰكُم مَّلَكُ ٱلْمَوْتِ ٱلَّذِى وُكِّلَ بِكُمْ ثُمَّ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكُمْ تُرْجَعُونَ

Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad

[notetaeker]

RAMADAN CHALLENGE 2023

INTRO:

After doing a ramadan challenge for 2 years so far and benefitting immensely from it, I thought I would post some questions this year! Everyone is welcome to join! Please also let me know if u have any suggestions / notice any mistakes ;_; this is my first time hosting a challenge

Just wanted to thank the anon who asked me abt this, and also @tranquilstudy and @caramelcuppaccino. Your challenges really were my main inspiration when I decided to do a challenge ~ thank uuuu and to @nuuralshams who gave me a lot of ideas for questions and was v excited abt it 💕

RULES:

Reblog this post to let me know you're in! (and to have as reference)

Pls use the tag '#RamadanChallenge2023'

I will be rb-ing every post I see in there (unless it's spam bots)

You can do a question per day or batch them together if you like

You can also do some questions out of order if you want (like answering the surah kahf question on a friday)

Feel free to skip any question or just post abt how ur ramadan went that day / what you ate for iftar / anything tbh

You are also welcome to start late (or early! If you want to use some of the questions as a countdown to Ramadan!)

I also included some Ramadan Prep questions + Eid post if you'd like! ( Very optional...)

I will be starting the challenge when I personally start Ramadan but if Ramadan starts a day earlier for you- you can just start then!

I added a bonus day in case Ramadan is 30 days lol but you can skip it if you want if Ramadan is only 29 days

I will try my best to queue your posts but knowing me I might just mass-reblog 🤡

Anyway Allahumma Balighna Ramadan!!! / Ramadan Mubarak !!!! (based on when you're reading this)

Let me know! If you want to be tagged / reminded when we start!

PREP QUESTIONS (Optional):

Prep day 1: One thing you're looking forward to the most this Ramadan Prep day 2: Do you plan on completing the Qur'an and if so, what's your plan? Are you going to start before Ramadan? Prep day 3: List one thing that would help future you get the most out of this Ramadan, and go do it now! (if possible)

RAMADAN QUESTIONS:

Day 1: What are your goals this Ramadan? Possible suggestions: 1 habit to build, 1 habit to break, and one accomplishment you hope to gain!

Day 2: Are you working/going to school during this month? What about in previous years? How does it affect your ramadan? How do you balance the two?

Day 3: What type of worship comes the easiest to you?

Day 4: Ramadan is the month of the qur'an. What is an ayah from the Qur'an that has changed your view of things or impacted you deeply?

Day 5: Share a memory of Ramadan from your childhood or when you first embraced Islam

Day 6: What are some Ramadan traditions you have, and what are some that you'd like to pass on to others?

Day 7: Best iftar item?

Day 8: What is a suhoor necessity to get you through the day?

Day 9: Share a hadith with us that you read today!

Day 10: First 10 days end today! Do you usually pray taraweeh? If you do then is it at home or at the masjid?

Day 11: How was Ramadan during the covid era? Has everything gone back to normal where you are? Anything you miss from back then?

Day 12: Most challenging thing about Ramadan and how do you try to overcome it?

Day 13: Have you ever completed the qur'an? Ever? What abt during Ramadan?

Day 14: Which story from surah kahf hits you hardest?

Day 15: Do you follow any Ramadan lecture series online? Any that you recommend?

Day 16: Best time to read qur'an during Ramadan? What about outside of Ramadan?

Day 17: What does your ideal Ramadan day look like? What about your Ramadan routine this year?

Day 18: the second 10 days is almost over! Have you ever experienced Ramadan burnout? Any tips to overcoming it?

Day 19: Who are you spending Ramadan with? Family? Roommates? Alone? What is 1 good thing about that arrangement?

Day 20: Have you ever done i'tikaf or qiyamul-layl in previous Ramadans? Are you doing any this time?

Day 21: Any feel-good dua acceptance stories to share? It could be your own story, a friend's, or even from a sheikh that you heard

Day 22: What is something you always miss about Ramadan when it's over? / What do you think you might miss this year?

Day 23: Are you making dua for anything specific? (Any dua you want us to make for you?)

Day 24: Share an Eid memory that sticks out to you! What kind of Eid traditions do you have?

Day 25: Who is a sahaba (companion of the prophet ﷺ) that you feel inspired by? Can you share the story that inspires you?

Day 26: Mention your favorite story about the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, or which of his qualities you look up to the most

Day 27: Your Laylatul-Qadr worship routine! Dhikr? Dua? Salah? Tell us!

Day 28: Think over the last month and the Ramadan that you've spent. Is there something you wish you had spent more time on? There's still 1-2 days left! What's your plan?

Day 29: Ramadan is our honorable yearly guest who is now preparing to leave 💔 What are 3 gifts Ramadan is leaving for you as a parting gift until we meet it again (inshallah) next year. It could be habits

Day 30 / BONUS DAY: If you were given an extra day to live, what would you do on that day?

EID: Eid Mubarak! Post a 3x3 or a 3x2 photoset of your eid celebrations! (Optional)

[munadrawson]

Commentary on the "Pardner" project

Before I mention the musical number project, fair warning that this will get personal. I worked on this project during the month of Ramadan when I could not leave home, which resulted in some mental anguish. But I won't get into details since it is pretty much self-explanatory if you're queer. FYI: This is long af. Lots to say.

Background:

I've been drawing fan illustrations/fan comics for 15 years. I never once reference anything from my cultural background. Wild, I know. One of the reasons why I have yet to do so until now was that there wasn't a desi-inspired character that I would enjoy as much as Frye, especially from a franchise that I had adored since day one when I was broke and just started college. There was no way 17 years old me would believe an inkling idol with a Desi background would be a thing and not be offensive. I know some voiced their issues with Frye's design, but after looking through the art book, I am GLAD this was the design they approved. I won't talk about colorism/racism in this post. Don't want to get into the social issues. This is a representation that I'm okay with, and it is a positive one.

So, I grew up watching musicals, whether it is from Disney or Bollywood/other box-office desi movies. Music is a pretty biggie dealie for yours truly. Gosh, I remember in elementary/grade school, I had a classmate who had the same energy as Frye and did the teeth thing as she brought a tape to school. She shared "Lal Dupatta" with the homeroom teacher on the school CRT tv. She was dancing and singing along with the song and tried to have me join in the festivity. But I was and am a shy girl, so I couldn't do it. I did enjoy her enthusiasm and the song. This was something I culturally understood. I felt connected.

Reminiscing that moment, I declared that I should reference one musical number that would fit in the Splatoon universe. For her sake and mine.

Old musical number:

One rule I had while I was searching for a song was that I didn't want the song to be too culturally specific or ignorant of stereotypes. So, no dancing. In the future, I'll draw Deep Cut dancing but nothing culturally significant until I do some well-deserving research before flinging myself into the fiery pits of hell. I learned my lesson internet, lol.

I had one specifically in mind before the partner song. More romantic implications, but it had one person singing. No duet. Sure, BM would appear more, but it would be just him playing an instrument while Shiver singing. Then I would have them crashing together while Frye witnessed this whole shebang at a distance. I also planned to add the Squidbeak Squad be the peanut gallery and have Craig do the "Harold, they're gay" joke. That was the initial idea until I stumbled upon a better one.

New musical number:

After eating my dinner, I passed by my mother while she watched Sholay. During that time, Mom was watching movies from the 60s and 70s on youtube. One was nostalgia, and the other was missing out on some or does not remember some of the stories. Sholay, particularly, caught my attention because the silver fox daddy, Sanjeev Kumar, appeared on the screen. Rood af, bruv. I know, thirst trap.

Seeing him in this movie triggered a memory where Dad showed me a motorcycle scene. I remember Kishore Da was the singer for that song, but that scene was from a different movie. A similar concept of two buddies riding on a motorcycle together, but the energy wasn't there. Out of curiosity, I ended up watching Sholay with Mom.

After viewing the friendship song, I shot up with excitement. "THIS! This one screams them!" As I initially said in the main post, I sought that chaotic energy. Two morally good-leaning thieves sing in a duet about their friendship while being a menace to society. That's THEM!

I know BM is an essential member of Deep Cut, but I'm not considering the movie but this specific score. If this project was about the movie, I would have DJ Octavio as Silver Fox Daddy, and BM would be Shiver's romantic interest. I did have plans on doing so in a separate post, but I gave up on that thought because I became exhausted after drawing eight pages of Fryver. I thought this would take me at least three weeks to draw. Instead, it was more than a month! I couldn't continue because of the lack of going to the gym, a month's worth of fasting, and in the middle of the holy month, I got sick from a stomach virus. Sorry BM. I want to tackle some other projects right now, and as promised, there will be more of him.

4 became 6, then 7, and finally 8:

Initially, I had the project divided into four pages. These were the four:

While drawing the four, I debated whether I should add in the coin toss scene. At that time, I could not figure out who could fill the village girl role until I was gobsmacked, realizing how slow and stupid I could be. I thought BM for the longest time, but he's too nice. If the coin rejects the idea of sleeping, he will give them the signature bear hug instead of waddling away. I want these two to be dunked on, especially after stealing his icy pop. "I'm upset that the dastardly duo stole my ice cream, but FRIENDS!!!" That kind of energy is NOT needed for this goof.

Once I figured out that the cousins could fill the Village girl role, the project became six pages long. I left that as a bonus. I acknowledge some people ship each of the cousins with Shiver/Frye. I nodded in some parts, like Callie's blushing. Hopefully, this bonus one was respectful enough. I didn't want to offend anyone.

At this point, I was confident that I was done until I realized there was no introduction to this project. Who the hell would know this 48-year-old movie reference? Very few. Which is fine. I don't know many pop cultural references. If you mention something about star wars, I would go whomst. Not a musical? Disengage, lol. I am not a movie buff to begin with. Music (folk metal plz) and (indie) games I fuck with. Anyway, I drew the introduction to the sketch dump:

I've laid the chorus across on the top. The background is straight out of the game (you got me bent sideways if you expected me to draw a unique background. Like, I'm insane, but not THAT insane.) I drew the characters that appeared in the sketch dump. These three stealing the show. How the hell did I draw this in one go?:

Damn, this hand. They're too cute for any school.

After, I've drawn the introduction. Surely, at this point, I'm done with this project. Nope. There is no conclusion. Can't have an introduction without a conclusion. Gotta include an ending. So, I contemplated. While doing that, I cleaned up some of the sketches, and I shared a part of the WIP with my partner, jokingly stating:

She was right. To close this project, it's literally sealed with a kiss. Why didn't I think of that?! Maybe because I assume they ARE together.

Despite being romantic, I often don't draw two characters kissing. I drew four kisses, including this one, within 15 years of actively drawing. I guess either I'm not confident at drawing that, or it's not a huge part of my love language. Also, it can't help when your girl towers over you. Usually, it's me receiving not giving. I need to carry a ladder around to kiss, lol.

At last, I drew the kiss. And boi, isn't it dramatic, huh? Nonetheless, It's thematic. I can finally close this project for good...? *Nervously laughing* There's more coming.

Additional Thoughts:

Fryver: If they're partners in crime, then they gotta gay equally. I made sure both of them had their moment in the spotlight. For example, in the coin toss scene, I initially had Frye flipping the coins. But, after drawing four pages where Frye leads some parts more than Shiver. Break the role and have Shiver take charge in this scene.

It works well, especially Shiver using their hand as a fan while simultaneously displaying the coins. This was before the art book! Pure coincidence that a character I finalized happens to like counting money in their pass time. This entire time, I thought BM was the money person. Big Man, big money. Naw, it's your local octoling, Shiver! Also, Frye doing the ;d with a tooth sticking out, giving a thumbs up. Great. Love to see it.

Big Man: Before the introduction page, BM only appeared once in the "MY ICECREAM" scene. This was drawn after the introduction:

The idea of having BM playing the trumpet while he perches on top of a moving truck, it's fucking hilarious. He rather not risk his life whenever either of the two operates a vehicle, but he's okay with playing incidental music on the roof of a stranger's car. Sure, buddy. You do you, lol. Squid Sisters: I have a project I want to do about the cousins. I am still determining how long that will take, but it's pretty long. I want to start something small.

This was my first time drawing them. I've drawn the other idols. Although chibi Marina should not count as adequately drawn. I do have an Off the Hook comic I want to work on. First, I need to write the script!

This was the first panel I drew before I worked on the other panels. This is basically my sister and me whenever we encounter someone we don't like or don't have the energy to engage. Lil sis will give her signature fake smile, and I'll give a stank look. No mask, no filter. I'm glad I could capture the dichotomy of the cousins in a single frame.

Final Thoughts:

There were moments when I wanted to give up entirely on this project. Negative thoughts such as, "No one would bat an eye at this," repeatedly. But as a perfectionist, I hate unfinished work. My work specifically. I persevered by telling myself, "Just do it for yourself."

It was a good drawing exercise. I want to get better at drawing these characters. Get to know and understand them better. I've abandoned trying to draw in Splatoon's anatomical proportions. Not my style, lol.

I'm happy that I drew the kiss. After sketching, yes sketching, seven pages, I was exhausted. I got sick in the middle of the fasting, unable to leave home because of fasting. It was too much (it's a good thing, I work remotely from home.) BUT. It's not gay, ya know. I'VE got to draw the SMOOCH. Or else this project will be trapped in the "gal pals" limbo. Also, not me struggling to NOT be wed to a cishet desi man. Anyone that is queer, plz.

Sigh. I had to draw this kiss secretly, away from my parents' prying eyes. I don't want them to question why I'm drawing two bipedal cephalopods kissing, let alone it being gay. And for whatever reason, they keep entering my office and staring at my monitors. I am a professional graphic designer, too. Let me work in peace!

Anyway, the kiss.

Honestly, talk about a mood. Especially when you're in a long-distance relationship. Five years in a romantic relationship and will be nine years in a platonic relationship with my partner in crime.

[chateautae]

lol i'm so disappointed

1. writing is difficult, especially when you want a quality product and it takes a long long time. i tell you from my own experience. for example, yesterday i sat in front of my laptop and tried to write something - result: 10 words left written. why? because i suck and i'm insecure. i think that every writer has moments in which they want to give up and when they judge their own work. so again it takes time. you can't control your inspiration. if you want to motivate them, donate :D

2. please appreciate the people around you more, especially those with potential. tumblr has a lot of AMAZING WRITERS. when you get bored, you can just open the app and occupy your time with a good fanfiction for a while for free or you can open netflix and pay monthly. do you see the difference? these stories are the result of people's imagination and passion (they are free) and i'm ready to argue with anyone who makes a writer here feel bad for no particular reason. if you want to criticize, make it constructive. tell them some ways they can improve their writing or some books with good descriptions where they can be inspired from (i recommend "after dark" by haruki murakami for a shot read), stop being rude for god's sake

3. how dare you get upset about a religious celebration so important to some people? and how dare you get upset about what other people are doing with their own lives? you're disrespectful and ignorant and please think twice before throwing garbage at others and insult their culture! (or religious background)

4. if she doesn't feel like going into a hiatus, then she won't. what's the matter of getting so upset over a word written in the profile description like "im in a hiatus haha brb"? she lets us know everytime so i don't see a problem 👍🏻

5. i got very attached to a few people here, sammy and hadiyah are among those because they are such nice and talented people. thank you so much for everything you do! not only the writing, but also the communication you keep with us. I love you and I mean it. I'm always here to show you. <3 lmao i start my every morning by writing nice stuff to good writers on tumblr

6. i hope every person ( not just the ones who celebrate ramadan ) has a peaceful month, full of joy and love. take care of yourselves! please don't get sick and protect yourselves when you go outside. i know the pandemic is hard for everyone, but there is always room to take more care of yourself. i had covid. i didn't feel well at all, but i'm very thankful that it wasn't worse and that i'm fine now. DISINFECT YOUR PACKAGES WHEN YOU RECEIVE THEM (that's how i got it :( )

7. i did not want to swear/cuss because it is a very bad habit of mine and i want to get over it and in romania it's already april 14 and i think the ramadan started so i preferred to censor myself :)

look, i hate bribery, but i'll bribe you to think twice before sending an ask and don't be ignorant anymore. \(>_<)/ hug hug. have a nice day y'all. i hate using emojis but look 💖💗💓💞💕💌💟❣💔❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍💝👏🏻

ps: i hope i didn't misspelled cause i wrote this quickly and i don't have time to correct this <3

vae has something to say nasty anons, please read it very thoroughly <3 

AHH tysm vae you’re just the sweetest MY HEART, have a wonderful day and take care of yourself!! i’m so glad you’re feeling better these days 🥺💓

[thatssonano]

Hey, remember the research paper about why TV fails to represent female muslims? Well here it is.

Hey guys,

So I'm finally gonna try to write a real little thing about how TV fails to write muslim women. I thought about doing a real research paper and I wrote the introduction and got really anxious because it reminded of my very stressful master degree lol so this is much more simple. Anyways, let's get to it. 

As a kid, I was very hungry for representation on TV. Mostly because I had no models, no one to identify with. As a very introvert and self-conscious kid, I didn't know what to be or what to do. At some point, I started looking up to my sister, very beautiful, very intelligent and very ambitious girl. So I thought "I ought to be like that, that's what a muslim girl like me should be like.” 

Thing is, I wasn't as smart as she was, my grades were not as good, I wasn't as pretty or as popular at school, and there was not a single box I could fit in. I ended up being the "weird but nice little sister". But I was so invisible everyone would nickname me "Sarah 2" (my sister's name being Sarah.) And you know what? For the first time, I felt like I existed. Because I was "the little sister". Dude, how sad is that?

I was too white for them, not muslim enough, too weird for them. So obviously, it was tough to pave a way for myself when I was the only girl like me. 

The first time I was finally not nicknamed was when I got into college at the age of 17. Only because we didn't choose the same college. And I understood I didn't have to be as smart or as ambitious as her, I understood that I didn't have to get the life she had when I was 22. 22, guys. 

I'm turning 26 in one month. And I chose my own life. But God, how much time it took me to realize that there wasn't only one type of "the muslim girl"? 22 years.  

I'm not saying that to share about my life or whatever, I just want to show the consequences of not having representation on TV. And for sure, many people don't care about representation, my sister doesn't, my brother doesn't. But I do. Maybe that's because I'm hypersensitive, maybe that's because I believe art should mirror reality. All I know is that it's necessary for many. 

I met Sana Bakkoush on a random fan video about several fictional couples on youtube. I didn't know Skam then but there was this second in the video where I would see Noora and William staring at each other or whatever, and there was this beautiful hijabi girl in the back. I had to know what this show was about. So I did my research and binge-watched it. With much luck, I got to the end of the whole show before episode 3 of season 4 came out. So I learnt to grow with Sana, I fell in love with her, and I just felt like I could understand her. I was her. I finally was validated with her. Up until episode 5, all was well. And then,… it just broke? Still today, I'm trying to understand how they could let that happen and I guess there's one obvious reason. The writing staff was white. Julie Andem is white. And to me, if you're not from that community, you should not try to write about this one. 

As the plot thickened, you could feel like it was unbalanced, incoherent, and that many things didn't make sense. But that's pretty normal, because if you don't live the problem, you can't understand. Now I won't curse Julie Andem for not trying, but I guess what should have been done was to hire a muslim writer. And God, people can't tell me it's too tough to find. Even if it was not Iman Meskini's job, she could have asked her. God, this girl taught more about ramadan through her ig story than Skam ever did. 

Now I'm not saying she didn't do us all dirty when she gave us 9 episodes instead of ten and it all broke us on June 17th 2017 (Yep, this day is a national holiday now). And honestly, I've got not one good explanation for this except they didn't feel her story was that important. Unconsciously, I hope, because it would be too evil otherwise.

The reason, to me, that Sana was so many people's favorite character was because Iman Meskini gave her so much realness. Sana was strong yet vulnerable. Everyone, muslims like non-muslims could understand her, and I think she inspired so many people. Her life is amazing, and she's what now? 22. I really hope she gets a Nobel Prize in the future, she deserves it. 

Now let's talk about the others. I think it'd be a bit faster. 

Imane Bakhellal. Uhm. Well the main issue is the same, she was written by a white man. So obviously, it was 1. wrong. 2. wrong. 3. wrong. The story barely focused on her faith and whenever we'd see her pray she'd be interrupted. Look, I've been praying for 13 years and the only times I've interrupted my prayer were because I had just realized I had not done wudhu. Or I was too jet-lagged so I was praying in the wrong direction.  

Thing is, Imane didn't make me feel anything. And it was even sadder, because I am a muslim living in Paris. To me, her story wasn't focused on her, it wasn't even focused on religion or her struggle living between two cultures. I didn't learn a thing. And God, that hurt. That hurt even more when the director didn't acknowledge it was poorly written and was actually proud of it. It hurt that white people get the right to write our story and we're there, not having any voice. It sucked. But I guess, she had ten episodes, right, even if the last episode was within the same day. 

It didn't really bother me that she kissed him. The speech she recited did though. I got really frustrated about it. How hard would it be to find a muslim writer? Honestly, I would have been glad to join them, even as a volunteer. 

I'm not actually mad at the actress, I guess it was just a reflection of her relationship with islam. And I know many people got the representation they wanted, but to me, it remains poorly written. To me, it remains hypocrite because they don't get it. Being a muslim woman of color in France sucks sometimes. But having at least her story focused on her would have been great too. 

 Ok, let's move on. 

Amira Mahmood. I love her a little less than Sana, but I mean come on, that's understandable, right?

Amira is strong, she's beautiful, kind, smart. And her season was going well, until it wasn't anymore…. Because, well, it ended. I keep on wondering why it happened and I came with no logical answer. So maybe it was lazy writing, maybe it didn't matter to them, maybe the writers were just tired. I don't know, honestly, I don't know. But it pissed me off bad. (Honestly it was the third character I was let down on, lol, it started to be a lot to handle). Also, the other seasons were so greatly written, they had depth and understanding, it was soft and beautiful. And to me, season 4 just felt… lazy? Sure, I loved Mohammed but the Australia plot wasn't even that important it actually got fixed over text? And how hard would it be to find exciting plot for a muslim character? What? Everything should be about kissing, hair and sex? Well, no. I mean, I would have loved to see her actually working, I would have loved to see her actually bonding with her dad, I would have loved to see her at a boxing game… The summer and fall after I graduated high school was a very hard time to me, mostly because it was a time of discovery and transition. Everything was changing. God, they should have explored that more. So I don't know, I just felt detached then, and I think that's more sad, actually.

But I do believe the actress did a great job, and I wish Tua all success. 

Shall I give a little paragraph on Nadia from Elite? Hell yeah I'm going to. Well, the show is focused on sex so, I mean, are we even surprised the writers did this to Nadia? Not really, but we're still mad. Again, it was written by white people; who focused on all the stereotypes people spread about muslims. The strict dad? Check. The very quiet and invisible mom at the mercy of the dad? Check. The muslim girl who does not actually know why she's religious and only follows her parents' footsteps like a sheep because islam is just way too strict so no one in their sane mind would ever venture in such a religion? Check. The hunger for having white friends and doing the same? Check. Falling for a white guy and giving up everything she ever "believed" for him? Check. I hope the writers heard about what people had to say about it. 

Honestly, I know some would say "there are muslim girls like this". Well, ok. But what about us? We've been invisible to society for years and years. I grew up without having a single fucking idea about who I was and I just always felt like I was the odd one out. Too white, too Algerian, too muslim, too girly, too boyish, too into traditions, following too much her parents' rules… Well, growing up I just decided, I will never be enough of something, because I’m a little of everything. So yeah, some muslim girls do that, but some others don't. And we want to see these girls too. We want to normalize their way of life, so they can just live. And we want them to have the same screen time than the rest of the cast. And we want them to have exciting plots too. 

God, I've been smothered by the fucking veil debate in France for weeks and weeks and I couldn't breathe anymore. That's why we need visibility. To be acknowledged. To erase ignorance and hate. To create a homogenous society in this globalized world where everyone is different and it is okay. Because as long as your liberty isn't in danger, then the other can live as he wills. 

To finish I guess some of you would be like “if you’re so eager to criticize the work of others, just write your own story” Well I did. I actually finished one scenario in French and I have just started one in English. But how can I actually make it into reality if I don’t know anyone in the business bold enough to work with me on it? 

Honestly if you've read all of that, congratulations, thank you so much, love you all, peace out. 

I didn’t write everything I wanted but I believe it’s long enough already lol. Be safe, well and kind. (that’s what Bob Morley says and he’s a king).

[muneerahwrites]

I’m going to take some time before I start work proper to write this public birthday wish to my beloved mother (or aka Cik(g)u Aishah, to her students lol)

This is one of my favourite pictures with mummy because it was the fasting month in 2015 and we were in Manchester after mine and Irshaad’s graduation. The fasting hours were long but when she saw the pictures and heard my recounts of Peak District with Aida, instead of lazing around during Ramadan, she suggested we do a slow walk down the Monsal Trail. And if you know anything about walking trails in the UK, you should know that they are long and winding and not even. So we walked from the morning and reached home around 6pm (with a lot of rests and sitting on the grass). Break fast was at 9pm so we slept the rest of the time, so tired. Haha, but it will forever remain one of my treasured memories because this is who my mother is. She takes on challenges and is always willing to keep learning, keep seeking new things to learn about herself, about others and seeking new things and places to see.

I rmb during this trip too, we went to Khadeeja’s house for Eid and ate great Pakistani food that her grandmother cooked. My mother and her family met once or twice and two years later, when I visit Khadeeja’s family again, her grandmother, who cant speak much English will ask me: “How is Aishah?” TWO YEARS and she still remembered my mother😊

When Shafeeq and I were doing German and French respectively in secondary school, somehow we went home and Mummy could speak German and French too. When my father learned Mandarin, she picked up a few words too. Recently, after a long day at work, I would see her hunched over her desk around 8.30pm-11pm to learn Arabic from Bayyinah Institute so that she could further understand the Qur’an. She’s always buying books, recently, she was reading about the Dutch and coffee in Indonesia, and also, Andrea Hirata’s fiction books lol.

And I can go on and on about her virtues because being the only girl with three brothers, so much that I learnt about life, spirituality, character and being a confident Muslim woman is from my mother.

I was reflecting that our names are prayers and hopes for us. When our parents give us good names, its so that we can emulate our namsakes or live out the meaning of our names. My mother’s namesake, Aishah r.a., one of the mother of believers, the wife of the Prophet, was called “mother” of all believers till the end of time because she had a special mission and responsibility. As a wife to the Propeht, she was no ordinary women, she had to instruct women in spiritual matters and aid the Prophet in his mission. Aishah r.a. was a brilliant, smart, fiery lady, who is most well known for narrating ahadith pertaining to the Prophet’s daily life and behavior, how he was in the home and how he was a man in the family. She was regarded as a spiritual teacher and scholar, who was incredibly intelligent and wide. She was consulted by the companions (male and female) to comment about the Qur’an and hadeeth.

And I see so much of Aishah’s spirit in my mother. She inspires me everyday to value knowledge and truth, to be open minded to different lived experiences, to strive to be a better Muslimah, to be generous, to be family and akhirah minded, to be patient and perservere through difficult times and emotions, to be grateful, active and adventurous.

I pray that Allah forgives, protects and showers His Love and blessings on my mother, all mothers, those who have left us and those who are still here, mothers to-be (!!) because we would literally be nothing without them in this life and they hold our keys to Paradise.

Happy Birthday Mummy!:)

[isadorator]

A Fic Year in Review - 2016

It's that time again~ And I wrote so much this year, holy shit. As usual, any concrit and comments are welcome~~ (as are requests, when open lol)

January

what are THOOOOSE a superhero's holiday

Oh jeez. Both these fics got way more attention than I thought they would. But I keep underestimating the ML fandom tbh. The first was basically me goofing around and I somehow ended up promising to write a sequel since everyone wanted one (which I...still need to do.....). The second was a flag for both my descent into ladrien hell and also a return to my nsfw ways orz;;;;

February

you are gold and silver (1/2)

IT TOOK. SO. L O N G. TO WRITE THIS. Although this fic is firmly in AU territory now thanks to being beautifully jossed by canon, it helped me realize just how much I needed to grow in order to write romantic intimacy in a believable way. So, I made it my goal to work on it until it was up to my own standards.

(I...still need to finish this fic too......)

March

jackady ladrien drabble prompts (1/2):

ribbons

fan merchandise

artistic muse

make-outs

stuck in a small place

rain

smiles

croissants

never have i ever

i want to touch them

jackady ladrien drabble prompts (2/2):

damsel in distress

beauty facial masks

visible marks

ice cream sandwiches

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (1/9):

the 4 times adrien pretended to shower to hide from ladybug (and the 1 time he was actually showering when she calls out his bullshit)

disney

halloween

tried to kiss your lips but i missed

magic

staring into each other��s eyes

Ah, the plan being put into action! With the release of actual ladrien eps, I had the perfect excuse to write romantic scenario after romantic scenario using submitted prompts. Which also meant I accidentally created a secret love affair AU and wrote more smut whoops. Still, they were super fun! I took a break halfway through to write some Inuyasha-inspired marichat that just would not leave me alone (also fun).

(....I promised to write a continuation of the 'never have i ever' prompt, didn't I alrjkdsflaks. AND TANGLED AU SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT)

April

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (2/9):

music

moaning

sweat

bath

they go on a date together

soulmate au

photographs

“i love you. i’m completely and utterly in love with you. please don’t get married.”

the one time ladybug actually catches adrien in the shower

ACTUALLY in the shower

“of all the people i could’ve gotten stuck in an elevator with and it just had to be you.”

mirror

More ladrien prompts/romance practice~ The music prompt is still one the most cracktastic things I've ever written lol. Managed to make two more AUs with this batch that I've already started to expand on: the soulmate AU and the auteur AU. Lastly, in a surprise twist, the fucking elevator prompt managed to gather over 1k in notes. Probably because I ripped off Sailor Moon but. Still.

May

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (3/9):

another shower scene

porn

away from home

“you have mom’s smile.” he said this to ladybug once, but he thinks it again and again and again. but ladybug is better: she is real.

calling bullshit

untitled continuation of a comic by pozolegirl

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (4/9):

under the covers

eyelashes

mega nachos

“i heard that the spots on your bodysuit corresponds to chakra points? so… what happens if i touch this?”

cute nose/forehead kisses

their first time

happiness

“i need you to pretend we’re dating…”

“is there anything you’re not good at?”

More Volpina prompts! Again, I like experimenting with them :D Also wrote a continuation of that Christmas comic because it was just way too cute~~

June

ladrien june 2016 drabble prompts (1/6):

love poem

awkwardness

games

i can show you the world

first love

everyone can see it

shower scene

jealousy

it’s a trap

insecurities

sins cannot be undone

ladrien june 2016 drabble prompts (2/6):

jealous fangirls/boys

“you have her smile”

gabriel | hawkmoth’s reaction

it’s not you, it’s my enemies

secret dating

window kisses

Oooooh boy. The triple whammy of Ladrien June, Ramadan, and starting my summer job. I was excited to have a month dedicated to just ladrien (as if I hadn't already dedicated most of my year to it lol) but fell behind pretty quickly thanks to my lack of free time. I aim to finish them this year!

And Ramadan. Man. It always sends my mental health straight into the toilet. Not because of the holiday itself, but because of the way my family treats it. Idk. I tried to flush away the bad feelings by punching out 'sins cannot be undone' in one night. And it helped, I suppose. It's definitely the rawest thing I wrote this year and I still have very strong feelings about it.

July

three sentence prompts:

ladynoir, spy au

nino and marinette, karaoke au

ladrien, bodyguard au

ladrien, superman/lois lane au

adrien and tikki, baking au

alix and kim, and the one-time-max-actually-won au

alya and marinette, vigilante au

adrienette, foreign countries

ladynoir, and the elevator game/ritual

Between work and writing various wips that I still haven't posted yet (*coughcoughconjugalvisitcough*), I only posted stuff from this meme. I had fun (the goal) and the adrien&tikki kwamiswap AU one is still my fave |D *slams fists on table* LET ADRIEN BE A BAKER!!!!

August

untitled continuation of a comic by geek-fashionista insomaniac and the chaton pile

UMMMM My summer job ended by this point, so my only excuse for not posting much is it's all tied up in unpublished wips and...I was freaking out about starting school next month for the first time in y e a r s;;; Just some drabbles for the sidekick AU (not mine) and my own, sleep-deprived ideas (that I...still find hilarious alkdjfhalksd I DID NOT EXPECT ANYONE ELSE TO???)

September

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (5/9):

embarrassing hobbies (aka: adrien is secretly a popular ladynoir fanfic writer)

water

mlnsfweek prompts (1/3):

laughter

roleplay

make 'em blush

we've got time

"i can’t believe we survived" sex

wet dreams

virginity

STILL REALLY STRESSED ABOUT SCHOOL, which translated into a lot of writing. Did a couple of Volpina prompts, including time ≠ water. Which. Got way more attention than I expected;;;; And that I...also promised to expand on......;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

And then #mlnsfweek hit and I'm actually really proud of myself for finishing the whole week, even if it was late~ /o/ Did some random scenarios, including some futurefic for the timebreaker AU. I still cackle every time I think of the wet dreams prompt tbh XDDD

October

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (6/9):

inside a video game

horror movies

“who crawls through someone’s window at 4 am to go for ice cream?!”

aching muscles from running all over the city, and then: "would a massage help?"

chocolate

discovering their sensitive spots

“so close” from enchanted

As usual, more Volpina prompts in between school and wips. Not really much to say except it was around now (or maybe September? My memory is horrible) that I realized I had developed a pretty good grasp on romance and could start working on upping my daily wordcount. I really want the mental stamina to complete a chapter fic one day...

November

mlnsfweek prompts (2/3):

marks

School REALLY started to pick up in difficulty and I signed up for a fic exchange and a fanzine. Despite really wanting to, I didn't have time or energy to do more than one prompt for the #mlnsfweek redux, but I plan to complete it~ I have Ideas.

December

oh, the things i do for you (the bubbler remix)

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (7/9):

bruises and scars

cold hands, warm hearts

I'm never, ever committing to more than one fic deadline near exam time ever again. I nearly died last month as I rushed to complete these fics, my studying, and prep for my vacation that started right after exams (I'm still recovering;;;). The remix is currently the longest fic I've written to date, including my wips! Holy shit!!!

Both were done very last minute, but I'm pretty happy with how they turned out. I tried to finish the last of the Volpina prompts before the end of the year, but alas, time was not on my side. Better luck next year~ :'D

Total Year’s Output: ....58,718 words;;;

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

.......This is almost twice as much as I did last year. I actually passed the NaNoWriMo standard. Oh my god. There is no fucking way I would have predicted this last year. And that's not counting all the wips aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH—

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January 2016?

Uhhhh, Bustier/Mendeleiev, definitely. Also DjWifi?? I just wasn't into it at all last year, but now I'm rooting for them. Also, I did not expect to write this much smut, but here we are. ALSO MARIE/ADRIEN/MARINETTE AKA THE OT3 AKA LOVE SQUARED (the homestuck in me will never die)

What’s your favourite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest.

Happy...? Hmmmm....There's stuff that makes me laugh, that I'm proud of...

...I know it's not published yet or even done, but...probably conjugal visit. Not only is it chock full of my favourite type of ladrien, it's...sort of my thesis on emotional intimacy? It's proof of my progress. I look at it and I can feel my determination to grow and to move on from the mental rut I was stuck in for most of my life, that I won't let my past keep my from recognizing my own emotions and learning empathy, not forever.

(Maybe that's pride and contentment and hope more than happiness, but I'll damn well take it)

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?

I ALWAYS SAY THIS but...I really want to finish my wips.....and I want to start an actual chaptered fic. Not a one-shot collection or a drabble collection. Long, plotty, gen or romance (or both!!), chapter fic. I want to write something that will keep people up all night, lying to themselves when they say 'just one more chapter'. I think I actually have a shot at completing one now, at my current skill and confidence level |D

[cabincrewdiary]

24 MAY 20

Hi guys. I hate this intro though but I keep on doing it. Soooo. I just got dumped from the first date at the LAST minute. I was litterally getting out of the shower after having like the best skincare, the best haircut, shaving and everything. Like what the fuck. But that’s fine. I just got overwhelmed but after having my lazy ass routine I so much needed it feels really good. i watched two youtubers that I do not absolutely follow in any of their social media space which is really funny because one doesn’t published any content at all on youtube like being inconsistent as me and the other is like a bullimic this which not really not nice to say though because I think it is really her disease so sorry to say this about her.

I really appreciate it because one was just speaking really naturally because putting on some type of attitude and was speaking with such a natural voice which was really pleasant to listen to and was not boring at all so I liked it.

And the other its been a few month im into her videos because I just love how organized is this girl and always really trying to explain everything to everything. like the most annoying thing you would definetely not not mention or try to explain, she’s doing it. I really enjoy it too because I could to do anything like cooking, organizing stuff do my laundry and everything it would just be like listening to music it just goes with the flow. Definetely the last thing I love about her is that she is so organized like this is really so inspiring so much thing she has to do into a day and that she’s doing and filming it, doing it while explaining it  so it does really helping me in my routine and the pave Im going for in my on going on new journey routine of life.

Which lead to my next point of my mental health. Im doing good. Thank for asking, because not many have asked if my doing ok (Megan Markle, Duchess of Sussex), this girl I really my Icon I will try to my an article of my icons. By the way Happy 6th anniversary of wedding.

My family left my place, it was really good to spend time with them. But two weeks is a lot haha. I’m really starting to realize that I really like and appreciate my space and my alone times. And its way more that need my mental health. I cried though today, I think it was just an overwhelming feeling of everything and that I litterally havent cried for a weeks lol (sorry I have but so appropriate).

I also had thought for my best friend, of course after the false alert date. Because of course is the only consistent thing in my life for the past few month, trying to always reaching out and keeping in touch with me which so cute and adorable even though its a friendship, apparently not a love story so I really don’t get why your purchase someone giving him confidence and more attention when the person just gave u out a shoutout of love confession. The smartest and logic thing in the situation would have been to back off, repulse from the situation and not going more deep with it I mean.but whatever trying not to think to much about it and trying to focus on the on going process of looking for the new love.

I love it because I feel like a youtuber because that my creative space I feel so confident and coocooning vibes while doing it, very carrie Bradshaw; and its like a drung you want to do it more and more and more lol. Also because as them I’m not watching my content like what Im writing or reading back because I already lived it and process that again while writing, its my story, I write so I already know it you know? ahah just a thought as usual.

gosh I do feel amazing when Im about to finish the writing of an article, like it feels good, feeling proud like a mother.

I do want to get have more friends though. Like gay friends. It would be so much more needed, to explain stuff beause getting (crying, burst of tears of crying), anyway being surrounded by girls, straights or muslim that don’t get to understand the struggle is really a challenge sometimes like I think it would be so amazing in my new life line stories. Gosh my tooth start to hurt, I think I’ll have to get a surgery which is really freaking me out and the fact Its no fucking way that Im getting braces as well. Ugh, whatever. So proud that I keep on doing my workout even though of the confinement but I have to do the cardio as well so I plan on runining this week (just decided it). I just had a bulimia of food today, really, really fucked up. Even though it was the first day out of ramadan that is really really not good I have to start to concentrate on my food organisation.

[mrasheedcartoons]

Awakening the Atrophied Eye: INITIATION

It's embarrassing to see the date on the last entry in this series. lol Paradoxically, those five years have flown by even as September of 2013 somehow seems like a lifetime ago, and indeed, I have experienced what has often been considered a sort of rebirth.

The concept of 'correct meditation,' as described in the lore of spiritual science developed by the ancients and recorded on the granite stele at Saqqara in Egypt, was the intended point of the blog series. I had ventured to chronicle my own attempts to build up the habit of meditating every day with the hope that at some point my diligence would be rewarded with the opening of the UDJAT Wisdom Eye, initiating me into the enlightened state of the 'Followers of Second Sight' (called 'Shemsu Hor' in the well-known Greek and 'Shemesu Heru' in Ancient Egyptian, the latter which I prefer and have titled myself with).

To be clear, the practice of correct meditation with the hope that the third eye would open is completely separate from the third eye opening. I point out that distinction here because, on Sunday, July 1, 2018 at approximately 6:15am, my third eye opened for me, and the drill of correct meditation was the furthest thing from my mind at the time.

I will describe the event itself, but I will hold the content of what the Wisdom Eye showed me close, because it was very personal... pregnant with meaning for me to meditate upon and extract knowledge for my own path... and I do not care to share it. So unless the prophet Joseph (peace be upon him) magically steps forth to offer aid in deciphering the content for me, I am uninterested in the opinions of others on that narrow topic. To even a well-meaning outsider, the content very well may quite reasonably seem mundane to the extreme – even to the point of provoking an instant "That's IT?! So what?" type of response – and I am in no mood for all of that since I'm still very protective of the experience in general.

Although I initially started not to share that part either, I will share my experience of what actually happened around what was shown to me though, since I believe it is the duty of all of us to record an accurate account of any and all spiritual experiences we have to add to the body of human literature. It's important. Contrary to the empty opinions of the secular, it is precisely our spiritual experiences that have humanized us, enabling us to build our civilizations. (I may end up writing out a detailed description of what the third eye showed me anyway and hiding it somewhere, to be found after my death. Then y'all can make fun of me all you wish when I genuinely really, REALLY won't care a damn.)

On the morning of 01 July, shortly after I had finished uploading the political cartoon of the day, I found I had about 30 minutes to kill before my alarm went off to get ready for work. So I decided to lie down and get a bit more sleep, but I noticed as I got in the bed that I was keyed up for some reason. Similar to the caffeine-induced "UP!" feeling when I've had my one cup of coffee during the day. Since I hadn't had any coffee in almost 24 hours, I expected the feeling to go away once I got comfortable, but it didn't.

I squirmed around for a few minutes until I finally noticed that the feeling was getting progressively worse. All by itself it wasn't a necessarily unpleasant feeling – this building excitable sensation – just wildly inappropriate considering my intention was to actually fall asleep. It felt like a strong 'bzzzzzzzzz' feeling building near/around/through me, and I remember that at its peak I began actively worrying as to whether it was one of the symptoms of a heart attack.

And then the third eye opened.

Suddenly my entire field of vision was filled with the darkened imagery the eye was showing me, but in the fovea focus area, there was a jagged 'hole' where a portion of that same imagery was quite bright. When I looked around, the scenery shifted, but the 'hole' stayed in the same place, and it didn't take long at all to notice that with my will alone, I could zoom closer to stuff, see stuff behind the darker areas and pull them up for better scrutiny in front of the 'hole.' I also noticed I wasn't really allowed to focus too much attention on one particular thing in what was shown to me; there was a level of zoom-in and detail it wouldn't let me achieve. This experience was clearly intended as a 'big picture' glimpse of something. All while this was happening, I noticed that the 'bzzzzzzzzz' energy feeling was retreating/dropping/defusing, which gave the very strong impression of a countdown. Then sure enough, once the 'bzzzzzzzzz' sensation stopped, the 'hole' in the veil closed. For precious fractions of a second, I could still see the imagery behind the now even darker veil, and then there was just normal darkness.

I continued to lie there, stunned and amazed and humbled beyond belief. I started praying, thanking Allah for gifting me with this great blessing. And it was absolutely a blessing! I felt an immense gratitude that my path had led me to the literature I had read gobbled that enabled me to recognize what was going on at the exact moment it started; I had no doubt or confusion as to what I was seeing. I replayed the event over and over, teasing and probing my memory for every precious bit I tried to take in during what seemed to be a few seconds.

I've thought long and hard about this event over the last few days, and I have some speculations regarding the how and possibly even why it may have happened for me that I'd like to share.

The Holy Qur'an 42:51 — It is not fitting for a man that Allah should speak to him except by inspiration, or from behind a veil, or by the sending of a messenger to reveal, with Allah's permission, what Allah wills: for He is Most High, Most Wise.

THE HOW I wasn’t meditating at the time I had my third eye experience and in fact, I hadn’t meditated in quite a while. So how was I able to experience this wonderful thing if I wasn’t engaged in the technique of ‘correct meditation’ that was specifically designed to trigger that third eye experience?

Well, obviously an accurate answer requires a necessary adjustment in my understanding of ‘correct meditation.’ The third eye experience that I had was the truth; my understanding of what I needed to do to create that experience was wrong. Based on what ‘correct meditation’ actually does —

uses a specific rhythmic breathing technique to get your body's natural N,N-Dimethyltryptamine (DMT) levels up, corresponding to the rise of the 'Serpent Fire of the Universe' energy ('Sekhem/Chi/Kundalini') on the other side

trains you to comfortably focus visual concentration into the area the Wisdom Eye opens at for up to an hour at a time

encourages you to begin the drill while well-rested and generally healthy

...it’s now clear to me that the point of the technique is to set a stage. You are by no means 'activating' the eye to open, but instead, you’re creating a physical scenario that we believe should be ideal-optimal to invite the third eye to open… to make things easier for it to open for us should the forces that direct it decide to do so.

And that’s it. That’s all it does. The technique of correct meditation is a hopeful invitation to the unseen to pleeeeeeeeeeeeease open the third eye for us.

Yet, when I had my third eye experience, I was not breathing in a measured, rhythmic way. I was just breathing. lol My DMT levels were not already elevated, thus when the unseen forces elevated them for me to the levels required to rip a third eye ‘hole’ into the veil between realities, it was very noticeable to me in those moments as an intrusive, alien sensation.

When I had my third eye experience, I was not focusing my visual concentration into the fovea spot. Far from it, as I was looking around, semi-annoyed at the excited energy sensation I was feeling that was preventing me from falling asleep.

When I had my third eye experience, I was not well-rested either. Although I am generally healthier than the average Black American male of my age/peer group, I’ve been getting less sleep than normal for the last few months in order to stay committed to my on-going project of producing one political cartoon per day. I do walk around tired, enough to require that one cup of coffee during the day so I’ll be alright.

So the man-made understanding of the ancients' conclusion of what should be the most ideal conditions for the Wisdom Eye to open were not met when I had my experience, but that doesn’t mean that the optimal conditions that it DID require weren’t in place. Obviously they were. As a Muslim, I’m analyzing this from an ‘Islamic Theurgy’ position. In the Qur’an, there are very specific things Allah commanded (or even just softly advised sometimes) the believers to do in order for them to be “prosperous in this world and in the next.” I am a practicing Muslim, and other than not yet performing the Hajj (the pilgrimage to Mecca), I have made the sincere effort to keep up with the ritual core pillars of my faith, as well as other items that in my research into scripture I felt were related in some way and should also be adhered to as a believing seeker of truth. Here are the practices I did leading up to my experience:

1.) I had just finished fasting the month of Ramadan. It is well known that the act of fasting is a spiritually rejuvenating practice, and in my case I successfully completed the full 30-days of one of the most intense forms in the world.

2.) I pray to the One God of Abraham in the formal ritual five times a day, during which I pointedly ask Allah to strengthen me with His spirit and teach me that which I know not. I’ve been asking for that for about 8-9 months now.

3.) Allah said that those believers who will prosper are the ones who seek His help with patient perseverance and prayer, “for Allah is with those who patiently persevere.” I believe this requirement is being met just by my commitment to my one cartoon a day project. No matter what, I make sure I get up and make that cartoon before I start the day, and God is with me for the sincere effort.

These three bullets, combined with my goal to win paradise by being a good person in general as described by God in scripture, puts me in the optimal state for receiving a spiritual breakthrough. Make no mistake… the phenomenon known as the UDJAT Wisdom Eye of Heru is absolutely a Sign of Allah. Therefore, if one holds hope of achieving an authentic third eye experience (or repeating it), one must be minimally purified according to the criterion of the One God of Abraham, the all-powerful Supreme Creator of reality. I believe my own sincere efforts, especially within the last year or so, to adhere to God’s minimal requirements for the believer are what enabled me to achieve the state favorable for the coveted third eye experience, this being far more powerful than the mechanical techniques of ‘correct meditation.’ This understanding aligns to the truth of God’s core message to humankind in scripture regarding that which the Lord our God wants us to take away from our spiritual study.

THE WHY According to Clesson Harvey’s research, the first 2 or 3 third eye experiences will guide you in a specific direction, with subsequent experiences enabling you to explore the unseen realms through the Wisdom Eye within a more self-directed, quasi-independent state. It is in my best interest—as I do indeed hold hope that the Wisdom Eye will open for me again—that I maintain this optimal state for it to do so. Indeed, since the rewards and punishments of God are merit based on a tiered system, I obviously need to try even harder in my spiritual walk and work to do more than the base minimal requirement as a believer.

Basically this wonderful, initiating third eye event happened in order to assure me that I was on the right path, and I must continue and even strive for better if I wish to have another. The technique of correct meditation then is but a communication tool and although I do plan to continue my quest to personally build up that skill (I'm very motivated now! hahaha) , I understand that it is the righteous behavior of the believer in good standing with God that is the true way towards having that amazing, supernatural experience.

Peace.

Very respectfully,

M. Rasheed, PMP®

Cartoonist | Socio-Political Commentator | Graphic Novel Serialist | Shemesu Heru Second Sight Graphix www.mrasheed.com

[brothalynchhung]

2017 overview

FOR FUCKS SAKEEE IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 5 YEARS LMFAOOOO anyways lets goo... this gone be a lot i learned a lot this year

the year started out...

kinda weird tbh like i was in a weird state

i was back to being obsessed following jk/gl lool

it was nice but i got to hopelessly obsessed

but they came back and it really motivated me it made me happy

hes so comforting until this day

he earned so much!! achieved so much! I'm so happy for him

i gained a lot this year too .. in a way

yeah 2017 was weird introspectively...

lot of internal rebuilding...

i did video 1 which was fun i got to make some cool shit and work hard on projects

i met my girl xy lol her talented ass

ate out a lot tbh i was a fatass beginning of 2017 wtf

still am tho wtf who am i kidding 🙄🙄🙄

jus classes with z as usual but winter 2017 was so weird cuz like.. i barely went to any of those classes LOL

video 1 was fun

adv com theories was ass idk how i got a B+ in that class i failed everything LMFAOO

phi was whatever

women and media was weird cuz of that weird girl but we got a good mark so whatever

quantitative LMFAOOO fuck that class and that bitch ass prof i didnt learn shit

other than that personally...i was going through some mental shit.. i felt alone. i felt out of it. i felt regretful

i felt so regretful i felt like shit

i fell into such a nostalgic moment like i just missed everything

jk kinda reminded me of like.. how i was? happy? in 2016 i kinda of left everything and secluded myself in a weird way other than fighting with ayt/mh on some bullshit i just was out of it.. i was chilling with weirdos lol

i was thinking like.. i miss how it is??? I'm not that different? i like all the people from my past why are we not that close

spring day came out.. that hit it. bullseye. 

childish gambinooo....

just really looking back, looking back on who i AM who I WANT to be truly. who i really want to be around and create

i valued my friendships

i was super creative... working on my book, investing in artistic pursuits.. 

i wanted to recreate everything i lost, i wanted to reclaim my trauma with that bitch.

i got to spend fun times with my friends, running around train tracks becoming closer again like how it should have been all along

jk had me looking forward to leaving to dubai

and so i did. 

i tried chasing him there but it didnt really work out

its not really meant to be sr...

he's just an inspiration for what you want and for who u are

the whole groups a blessing lol

even tho i left that shit cuz it got too much and too weird why bitches gotta make shit mediocre🙄

anyways dubai was kinda ass but i got to realize something important... who i miss, who i wanted/wished were with me, who actually cares about me..

WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT ME

yo sr... if someone really cares.. they'll take the effort. STOP chasing people who don't care.. STOP damaging yourself and the people who love u for people who don't give a fuck

i dropped that bitch so hard i hope she fucking rots in hell

2017 . APRIL 2017 LAST TIME EVER I WILL EVER SEE THIS BITCH. NEVER AGAIN.

my life got so much better.

dubai was a detox but after i came back it was so good

hot as fuck

ramadan lol

fat as fuck -_-

dubai was just weird lol kinda realized its not my place but it was nice(ish)

need to learn not to rely so much on material shit lol

my family is the best

they really tryna teach u and care for u, u will never have another family.

also met nr!!! she was sweet kinda weird tho lMAO the cat shit jesus lol 

misk lol

WENT TO LONDON IT WAS AMAZING I LOVED IT

but fuck... lmao u know what the fuck u did yesterday -_- u DUMB bitch lmao who cares tho (...>_>)

came back... greeted by my friends who care 

chilled with them, adventures with them

but came back.. sorry. sorry to myself. sorry to the people i hurt

ayt, mh

i was thinking about it since winter i knew i had to make it right again, i knew i was wrong, that fucking bitch fucked shit up for us, we could have had so much memories in 2016 if shit didnt go sour

i gave the wrong person another chance they didnt deserve

so i reflected.. and swallowed my fucking pride

apologized. to who i needed to

and u know what? we good. like it was never bad. we good

...thats real. no flop shit, no fake shit, we good. loyalty. blessed.

u really gave the wrong bitch another chance u real did

stupid ass

then it was good.. adventures with my friends, rebuilding, forgetting, growing

together.

beach!! hiking!! badminton in the middle of the streets singing backstreet boys!! lol music!! 

KENDRICK LAMARRR

i made friends w ht again amazing lol

really remade friends w a lot of people lol

kendrick was so good tho fuck he was amazing my eyes were tearing/shining i cried like 5 times LOVE.. PRIDE. fuck those got to me

my ass saw get low live?? by YG fuck i love him too 

best night

amusement parks x3.. lol mtl with my fams..

yo me and lina got so close

i love my family. always.

NTCCCLMAOOOO 

they gave me so much hope after i dropped stb cuz or their weird ass fandom.. i couldn't deal with that shit they're ruining my damn nostalgia. but whatever I'm not gon hate on their success.. jk is still jk to me i hope he reaches the stars with his success

but yeah damn ntc made everything sooo good damn how u not have 1 dime but like 8 LMAO in one group

literally lights of my lifeee

jn😤jh😤hc🍅😩m😤jn😭jm😭WTF BITCH so much possibilities tf

love them they made me so happy

also their fandom is so funnny love the bitches i been following and talking to

anyways i saved up my money a lot but now its like all gone cuz nadas work so idk

UHMMMM I BOUGHT MMM??? WTF BITCH WTF

I WIN IDC I WIN fuck all these bitches

glow up glow the FUCK up

lost a lil weight.. probably gained it all back idk fuck me -.-

since fall 2017.. i been happy.. i got my friends..my groups..

rm, mc, ys💘 

nz,suz,lul,mar💖

prgl,sr,joan💞

hct!

nm💗

ayt

zainb,rame

xiny, jelly

and more...

hearts 4 all I'm just lazy lol

nice to have friends, nice to know there are people who actually like u and care for u and are fun to hang with, nice to know people like u for who u really are unconditionally 

nice to know bitches i hate will never NEVER have that

stay lonely pitiful boring unsuccessful and fake . 

priorities straight. emptying out ugly shit, rebuilding myself and who i am. having fun, fixing my look. investing

music music music GOOD MUSIC

movies movies movies

books books books

those 3 things will never change

unbrainwashing myself

realized so much shit.. istg my glow up is associated with freeing my mind from all this bullshit...

RATHER BE PROUD OF WHO I AM RATHER THAN TRY TO BE SOMETHING IM NOT JUST TO FIT INTO SOME LOWKEY RACIST UGLY BORING BULLSHIT

crazy how deep into my coma i was

BITCH IM BACK OUT OF MY COMA

going forward.. going forward.. investing.. changing... 

mentality shifting.. my image of diserable.. who i want to be 

better important goals, fun goals, fun shit, cool shit, new shit

destroying the fuck bitches who tried to kill me

bunch of fucking losers. 

I'm better now I'm happy now i ended 2017 happy as fuck

i DONT have my gl but i don't need him rn. I'm loved. i love me. my family and friends got me. so until i act on some long awaited shit and gain more resources and achieve more personally UNTIL I'm ready and deserve some shit. then ill get gl. I'm going towards him. 

you're with me.. even when you're away.

hope u feel all this happiness too, hope you're warm, hope you know I'm not where u are right now and hope ur working your way towards me too

ill meet u in the warm .

happy. i spent many nights happy no fights no drama no sadness (other than not having gl i get hopeless being in love with someone i don't know yet but i cant help it)

soon tho dw.. it 2018 now lol

anyways!! i grew so much in 2017 I'm back to who i really am I'm motivated I'm happy I'm inspired I'm ready for the next year

i ended this year losing my bitch ass acne studios scarf!! like a dumb bitch!! so I'm still a dumb bitch!! but who cares -.-

need so stop buying dumb shit.. ill get the trousers when i get a job and the fucking scarf won't matter.. yo ass don't even like scarfs wtf -_-

lool see this optimistic dgaf mentality.. 

CAASH DONT LAST MY FRIENDS WILL RIDE FOR ME

and thats exactly what we did tonight, dance and sing to disney hits and sean paul . happy and careless af 

I GOTTED WHAT I WANTED RIGHT NOWWW 

GOD DOES IT FEEL SO GOOOOD

2018 lets fucking go. I'm ready . I'm going to make so much shit. I'm out my coma, i know what the fuck i want . no more dumb shit, we do dis. LETS FUCKING GOOOO.