#also sorry to put the cursed website on your timeline

[doomdoomofdoom]

When I said "Vote Blue now so you can vote Third Party in the Future. Because if you don't vote Blue now, you may not be able to vote in the future at all", I wasn't exaggerating.

[yuvon-writes-letters]

Hey guys,

Yu, Rai and both Jakes.

Actually..If I talk about my feelings I'm pretty well. Don't tell Jake I said that, but I couldn't be happier about our situation. I mean, we can talk again. Without me being kidnapped and finding a weird Tumblr profile of him. (Which we think was a set up by one of the entities of my world since he obviously doesn't have one. Jake thinks it was goldies doing, I on the other hand don't believe that. Don't ask me why, but it feels like goldie wouldn't do that. And it didn't help me either but only made problems. I was distracted because I was writing the profile (you read it, right Yu? I don't know about the others) and angry. Like, really angry.)

Putting that aside, Jake called me, like he promised :) And it was the longest phone call I had for some time. Most of the time I talked and he didn't get distracted once, just listened to me and everything that happened. And then he started cursing, which is kind of understandable. He apologised for being into stasis. And for this other version from before the 'time setting back' thing. Because I don't find a name I'll call it TSB from now on.

The only problem I have now is going to work, I guess I'll take me some vacation...But at least I'm not as scared of the raven-ass anymore. I mean, I still am, but in the moment I know his steps. And I am not alone.

Jake, I intentionally write the next part in red, please don't read it. That's for Yu.

I know you think that Jake sees you as a threat. If it still is like you wrote in the letter. Jake knows that, too and he doesn't like it. You know him better than I do, of course, but without saying too much...I think it's quite the opposite. Talk to him about that. Even though it's probably not the best circumstances I think he enjoys being with you :)

The next part, purple (damn, I need more coloured pens), is for you Jake.

You already told me that you don't like that Yu thinks you see her as a threat. I only have to say one thing, if it still is like that, talk to her about it. Earlier than later.

The new thoughts about the blood ritual are really interesting. But please don't put yourself in this danger (or not, but I think it's understandable what I mean?) if it isn't necessary. But I also agree with Rai, I thought the same thing for a while. That you desired having someone, Jake, with you. It sounds plausible.

What more was there...Wait, let me reread the letters.

Oh yeah, Rai! One, till now my crow crew seems to still be in stasis (Jake realised that now, too) and two..Please try to take care of your health, yeah? I'm worried for you.

Lis🐾🔥

Ps. Damn...I'm writing this exactly when I wanted to leave the house (I mean, I sadly cannot hide my face forever).

Two new things...I got a message. I mean, it was a threat (because I am the obviously the bad girl that kidnapped Hannah), but I don't care. Maybe that means the stasis is slowly dissolving!

But number 2...I didn't get the vacation. My boss called me almost immediatly. "Under no circumstances [a word is blacked out] Liska. We have July and Alice, Tim and Jenny all want to take free time, too. You are one of our best workers and we can't afford you leaving now. You have no children so you have to wait. Also Max told me that you don't have any problems in family."

So long story short: He wants me to be there tomorrow. Argh, if he would pay me like he's talking that would awesome. And I'll kill Max when I see him next time. (My cousin that thought it was fun to try and steal my work so we both got the rank of 'one of the best workers'. The only problem: Max' title is official. -.- Overall, I'm so much more annoyed than some time earlier. Maybe I should ask Jake for help

Lis,

Okay, the Crow Crew drama is fading a bit, so I'll answer this now. Sorry if I seem disjointed at all, I'm probably going to be going back and forth from conversations to this letter a lot. I can't afford to have them all think I'm compromised, I need to focus on getting out of here and I don't want to deal with their pressure on top of everything else.

Yeah, I don't think the Tumblr profile was Goldie either. Goldie seems to try to be very much a "hands off" sort of entity, like my own. The Tumblr profile thing seems a little out of character for at least my Jake. At least, publicly answering your submission certainly was, though he may have panicked since you sent it in on anon and answered publicly without really thinking about it. I guess I could see him having a Tumblr profile for purposes of following people on social media and watching what they post, though. And then deciding he likes the media and posting a little bit of impersonal things that can't lead back to him. Probably my Jake will say something about that when I hand this letter over to him, stay tuned.

Yeah, I at least read some of the things you sent that profile, and I showed what I had to my Jake too. I'm not sure if I read all of it, since it was a bunch of printed-out screenshots in an envelope, but I read the ask where you told him you hated him (fair at that point but ouch that's got to have hurt) up to when you said you'd found Hannah. After that you sent me your letter telling me time had turned back and the Tumblr screenshots ended.

I'm glad you and Jake managed to talk things out. I was sort of worried about how he'd react, but it sounds like he took it pretty well, considering. I'm... not exactly sure he should be apologizing for the stasis, though. Or the TSB!Jake. Maybe especially not the TSB!Jake. Jakes seem to be oddly different from timeline to timeline, just based on what I've seen of them. TSB has been one of the most different so far.

Oh. One thing I should mention that you might not have seen from the profile: The MWAF used your phone to mock the TSB account, and mentioned that TSB wasn't the only person who could hack, and the MWAF blocked TSB from finding your location. Might want to warn your Jake about that.

A vacation sounds like a good idea :/ It's really hard to go back to normal life right after tragedies or trauma. It feels like the world keeps moving on and you're still stuck in place, and you just want to scream at them that they need to slow down, can't they see that the world is

Good. I'm glad you don't feel alone. It's easier to deal with this stuff when you're with someone else, even if it's not physically.

(Jake, my Jake I mean, if you're reading over my parts of these letters skip to the ||| now please.) I'm not saying he doesn't also enjoy my company. I can tell he does. That doesn't make me not a threat. Like how early on I suspected Thomas, but still thought he was a nice guy and enjoyed talking to him. (Obviously I don't suspect him any more XD ) Still, if you think I should talk with him about it, I'll try to find a tactful way to bring it up.

Yes, because obviously tact is my greatest strength. Sigh.

Like I said to Rai, the underlying desire thing is definitely possible. That'd either mean I'm more obvious about how I feel for Jake than I think I am (very possible, I'm not great at hiding how I feel in person) or the entity has some level of telepathy/mind reading. The reason is that chessboard. Since Jake likes chess, it's clear at least to me the entity expected him to come here at some point. I THINK, if the underlying desire thing is true, I can manipulate myself into wanting specific things by doing things like writing it over and over and repeating it out loud when doing the ritual, but I'm not sure.

|||

It's probably good that your Crow Crew is in stasis, like how it's objectively probably good my outside life is going on without me. Less drama, less pressure.

Huh. The harassment is definitely a promising sign. Maybe you should try contacting Darkness again, same way as I suggested near the beginning? That feels so long ago, but it really can't have been much more than a week, can it?

You... didn't get the vacation. Fucking hell. Is there ANY way you can convince your boss? You really should have time off. Maybe your Jake can help you come up with ideas.

Or at least maybe he can come up with a way to have your boss give you a bonus for your trouble -_-

Oh shit Cleo's interrogating me I'm gonna hand this to Jake now

(The handwriting changes to Jake's.) Hello, Lis.

I agree with Yuvon: "TSB" acts markedly different from myself. There would be no benefit from me promising to be there to find you in the moment, and indeed I would have been falling for a very transparent trap. Even in my possible state of panic, I cannot see myself being there physically, much less revealing myself physically to authorities in the process, unless I was playing the role of bait in a counter-trap. While it is plausible that this was TSB's plan, TSB gave no indication that Yuvon or I could tell that this was the case. Of course, I would have done my best to be there physically in the aftermath of the kidnapping, but not in the moment.

I also agree that the Tumblr profile seems to be out of character for both myself and for "Goldie", though I hesitate to judge TSB's actions by what I myself would do. I seem to vary in surprising ways across universes and even from timeline to timeline, based solely on your current Jake's reactions thus far. I do actually own a Tumblr profile for the exclusive purpose of following social medias I wish to track, but I used a random username generator website for the username and not my own name, and I certainly never posted anything.

The news about the MWAF being able to hack is new to me; I must have missed that the first time I read through the screenshots. That is quite troubling. I suppose I will need to be more careful in future.

I am sincerely sorry your request for a vacation was rejected. I do not know how much you intend to separate your personal life and the Duskwood case, but if your stasis is truly wavering, you may be able to reveal some measure of the danger you are in to convince him to let you flee the area for a small while. Especially since you mentioned in your Tumblr post that you saw a raven note in your wor

Oh.

You need to leave that place. Now. Do not inform your employer of the danger you are in, reveal nothing to him or to anyone, take unpaid time off if you need to. Get your cousin and anyone else you care overly much about out of there too. Invalidate any information you can your employer or coworkers knows about you. Do not tell the truth to anyone, even your cousin. Make up any excuses you need to, ask your Jake for help with ideas if you need to. You may also wish to check that the coworkers your boss listed who are going on vacation are ACTUALLY going on vacation.

This is a priority, Liska. You need to tell your Jake all of this too, especially the part with the note in your workplace. You need to get out of there.

Good luck.

—Jake & Yuvon

(The letter tucks itself into the paper clip with the others.)

[tailahjanbash]

Freedom From Astrology / Constellations

There is no escaping astrology. You see it on every social media feed, and in almost every pop culture magazine. It’s harmless, right? Totally fake and good for laughs!

What if I told you that wasn’t the case?

Astrology is defined as: the study of the movements and relative positions of celestial bodies interpreted as having an influence on human affairs and the natural world. It was birthed thousands of years ago as a Babylonian religion and study.

Horoscopes, birth charts, natal charts, readings, and all things zodiac fall under the astrological umbrella. I’m sure you have all heard people say things like, “Well, I’m a Leo, so I am just naturally bold and outgoing!” or, “Sorry I’m anxious, it’s just a Virgo thing.”

According to astrology, each sign of the zodiac has different issues, areas of weakness, and even predisposed sicknesses based off which sign you are born under-both physical and mental. For example, Aries are prone to head trauma and Virgo’s struggle with anxiety.

This is blatantly demonic and out of order with God’s divine order. God has made you uniquely, and does not have predisposed health conditions or areas of sin and weakness written down in His plans for your life. In fact, He has the opposite etched into your story: healing, freedom, and deliverance. You are not a one-size fits all version of a zodiac sign. You are made in the image of God.

If you have ever dabbled, explored, studied, or even just read about your star-sign, you have opened a spiritual door for the principality (demon) behind that constellation into your life.

How do we know these constellations and heavenly bodies are demonic?

Constellations and stars and all things space are not demonic in and of themselves. God made them! The bible says that he knows each and every star by name! However, when we begin to study these heavenly bodies as if they have power, influence, or control over us, thats when it turns dark and demonic.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12

Here we see that there are good and evil spiritual forces present in the heavenly realms. When the bible speaks of this realm, it is referencing the second heaven as well as outer space. (Isaiah 13:10)

There are three heavenly realms (2 Cor 12:2). The third is the highest and where God dwells. The second is space, and also an area where many theologians believe angels and demons fight spiritual warfare, deliver messages, etc. The remaining one is the earth, where we live and dwell.

And the bible doesn’t just stop there-it directly targets astrology:

“And when you look up into the sky and see the sun, moon, and stars—all the forces of heaven—don’t be seduced into worshiping them. The Lord your God gave them to all the peoples of the earth.” Deut 4:19

“Now use your magical charms! Use the spells you have worked at all these years! Maybe they will do you some good. Maybe they can make someone afraid of you. All the advice you receive has made you tired. Where are all your astrologers, those stargazers who make predictions each month? Let them stand up and save you from what the future holds. But they are like straw burning in a fire; they cannot save themselves from the flame. You will get no help from them at all; their hearth is no place to sit for warmth.” Isaiah 47:12-14

This is what the Lord says:“Do not act like the other nations, who try to read their future in the stars. Do not be afraid of their predictions, even though other nations are terrified by them.Their ways are futile and foolish. They cut down a tree, and a craftsman carves an idol.” Jeremiah 10:2-3

Daniel answered the king and said, “No wise men, enchanters, magicians, or astrologers can show to the king the mystery that the king has asked,but there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries, and he has made known what will be in the latter days.” Daniel 2:27-28

If you have opened a spiritual door to astrology that you would like to close, read on reader!

The prayer below is a prayer of deliverance. Deliverance is simply breaking off any connection, agreement, pact, or contract you (knowingly or unknowingly) made with the kingdom of darkness. We do not possess the power to break these demonic attachments on our own. When Jesus died on the cross, he became a curse for humanity so we would have power over curses and darkness. The blood of Jesus cancels out any agreement or attachment made with satan and his demons. His sacrifice holds this power because Jesus was sinless and blameless. The bible says that the cost of sin is death (Romans 6:23) . Because we as humanity have sinned and fallen into darkness, we deserve death according to this spiritual principle. By Jesus living the sinless life we should have lived, and dying the death we should have died, he not only cancelled our debt and gave us eternal life, but conquered Satan and his kingdom. He now shares that power with us through the Holy Spirit. If you put your hope and your trust in Jesus Christ and accept him as your Lord and Savior, you will be empowered to break off demonic strongholds over your life by speaking His name and commanding them out.

ONLY CONTINUE READING THIS IF YOU WANT FREEDOM

IF YOU DO NOT DESIRE TO TURN AWAY FROM ASTROLOGY OR YOU ARE NOT READY, DO NOT READY ANY FURTHER.

Deliverance is very serious. If you cast a spirit out and return to it, or do not ask the HOLY SPIRIT to come and fill the areas of your life where you have just evicted those demons, the spirits will return and come back seven times stronger, leaving you worse off than you were before. *See Matt 12:45

The deliverance prayer below has been re-posted from the Bride Movement. You can visit their website here: https://www.bridemovement.com/freedom-from-constellations/

For those that are in deep bondage, they will find that their DNA is woven into the constellations. As constellations are composed of a group of heavenly bodies, this prayer employs unique language that is tailored to secure a rapid breakthrough from this type of bondage. Simply find the constellation that you are entangled with from this list of 88 constellations and use it in the prayer.

If you do not know where to start, I recommend starting with the constellation sign you were born under. Most people that renounce the constellation sign that they are born under find a great deal of deliverance manifesting.

**Take note that in point number 2 there are four options. Depending on your current situation, you may find more peace with one option than another. Speak the option that provides you with the most peace. Do not speak all four.

Father in heaven, I come before you in the mighty name of Jesus Christ and I renounce the _________________ constellation and its interface points with my genetics, cells of every type, DNA strands, bone marrow, anchors, and markers. I address all the powers of darkness associated with this constellation, including all related oversouls, and serve them a bill of divorce. I pull up the hidden documents detailing every covenant, contract, agreement, certificate, oath, and vow entangling me and include all related books of wisdom, books of knowledge, books of philosophy, books of time travel, Freemasonic books, and all other evil sacred books and command that they be stamped with the blood of Jesus. I call for them to be nailed to the cross of Jesus Christ and burned with holy consuming fire.

In the name of Jesus, I pray that your heavenly hosts would be put on assignment to discover and apprehend every alter/part belonging to me that is loyal to, affiliated with, or in bondage to the _________________ constellation.

I now identify all territory in me occupied by the __________________ constellation including territory in my genetic code, markers, cells of every type, bone marrow, DNA strands, and blood. I furthermore include all territory in my physical body (respiratory system, digestive system, cardiovascular system, renal system, endocrine system, nervous system, musculoskeletal system, exocrine system, lymphatic system, lymphatic system, immune system, and sexual system), soul, spirit, heart, decisions, worship, business, destiny, stars, offices, and relationships. I deed the territory over to the kingdom of God and I invite you, Lord Jesus, to take the throne and to rule over this territory with your rod of iron.

In the name of Jesus, I now bind all gatekeepers and discover each and every portal access point associated with the _____________________ constellation and its interface points with my mind, genetics, cells of every type, bone marrow, DNA, strongholds, and blood, and all sentient intelligences, along with their agendas, connected realms, timelines, and all associated counterfeit inheritance.

I place the blood of Jesus upon every portal access point in all timelines, every realm, age, and dimension, past, present, and future, to infinity, and from the beginning across eternity, and I seal them with the Holy Spirit. I declare that they are permanently deactivated from this point in time and out of time, in every direction, in the name of Jesus.

I take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, and I cut myself free from the ___________________ constellation. I liberate my mind, cells, DNA and blood. I sever all sentient intelligences, along with their agendas and counterfeit inheritance, in Jesus’ name.

I return every form of counterfeit inheritance, inclusive of promised wealth, position, status, calling, ability, power, roots, pride, genetic code, seed, ungodly grafts, ungodly citizenship and all associated rites of passage, and any other form of counterfeit inheritance, in Jesus’ name. I refuse it and sever myself from it, and from this point on, and I choose to receive my inheritance in Jesus Christ. I receive the wealth, freedom, giftings and abilities held hostage by the _______________ constellation as a recipient of wealth transfer in Jesus’ name. Furthermore, my physical children are an inheritance in Jesus Christ, and I receive them and their redemption in Jesus Christ. I renounce all spirit children related to the ____________________ constellation and undo all entanglements involved in their creation. I command purging of the spaces and realms they occupy in and outside of me into judgment with all-consuming fire.

I renounce all ungodly paternal & maternal claims, sponsorships & affiliations, apprenticeships, royal appointments, offices & council appointments associated with the ______________ constellation. I pray for an annulling and breaking of all associated dedications, ceremonies, and celebrations.  In doing so I now declare reversal upon every ungodly pronouncement and judgement passed against me, my household, offspring, finances, marriage, destiny, mandates, stars, godly scrolls, and every other implicated component of my life.

I now receive a new spirit, blood transfusion, and new breath of life, from Jesus Christ. In the process, I declare that all doors opened through _______________  shall be shut, in Jesus name.

I now take authority over every evil spirit on the inside of me and around me that has been operating due to the ___________________ constellation. I declare that you are discovered, apprehended, bound, pierced through, and thrust out of me for judgment. I bind the strong man, and declare that all cords and legions are cut, that cords in cords are cut, and that all three-fold cords are cut in the name of Jesus. All ungodly components, and components that are not of me, are now bound. I command you OUT IN THE NAME OF JESUS. With the authority of Christ, I now cast you out and send you back into the pit of hell. I pray that every spiritual object, tattoo, device, label, jewel, amulet, necklace, earring, rock, crown, ring, bracelet, charm, garment, scepter, marker, power source, tracking device, system, grid, or branding placed in or around every part of me in order to anchor me to the __________________ constellation would be consumed in the holy fire of Jesus Christ and totally dissolved.

I call for every algorithm or formula created from my DNA and genetic material that is projected throughout the ________________ constellation to be shut down in every age, realm, dimension and timeline past, present and future to infinity. I command the immediate apprehension of every cosmic artificial intelligence and technology behind those projections and call for viruses encoded with heavenly algorithms to be uploaded into them and their computers in order to destroy them in judgment.

I identify every intergalactic data bank that contains within its records data, equations, algorithms and information of any manner extracted from my humanity. I declare that angels are sent forth to liberate every part of me held captive in these data banks. I pray that all records and information in them related to me would be forcefully erased, and permanently deleted. I call for the lightning of God to destroy every ungodly altar (both sacrificial & honorary) as well as effigies contained within the _______________ constellation representing me or bearing my name, image, or likeness. I also call for the annulling and removal of every curse and ungodly insertion placed on the times and seasons of my life in synchronicity with the ________________ constellation.

Lastly, I stand in my authority as a witness to cosmic injustice and as a child of the Most High God. It is written that the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. Therefore, I call for the purging and healing of the heavenly bodies associated with the _____________ constellation with the river of living water flowing from the throne of God. I pray that your lighting would now strike and sever any ungodly points of connectivity that remain. I render this entire confession established in every timeline, age, realm, dimension, planet, cosmos, and universe, past, present, and future, to infinity, and from the beginning across eternity. 

Holy Spirit, I ask that you would come and fill me. Come and inhabit the places that are now empty and cleared out for Your glory. Fill every void in my heart, mind, body, soul, and spirit and seal everything you did in my heart today, Lord. In Jesus name, amen.

** BLOG ANNONCEMENT

Starting October 1st, I am officially launching my website!

VISIT @tailahjanbash ON OCT 1ST FOR ACCESS

The website will have ALL my blog posts, with BRAND NEW additions of devotionals, testimonies, deliverance prayers, and an advice column where I will be speaking to all of you and answering any questions (God, theology, life, anything)!

 There will even be an email subscription where I will send you exclusive daily devotionals! 

I will still be active on tumblr, but there are more ministry tools available to you that would not have been able to fit on this tumblr site. 

[ahntravels]

Day два.

Day 2. Woke up and completely forgot I was in St. Petersburg for a moment. My bed at home is  a queen, and the bed at this hotel is for a tiny person (in fact, I think my bed at ND was larger...) Anyway, I rolled over as per usual, and completely rolled off the bed. 

I never would have thought, in my wildest dreams, I would one day wake up in Russia. Here’s to just pulling the trigger and making it happen. 

Today, as mentioned yesterday, is Hermitage day. I didn’t know what exactly to expect, except all blogs mentioned to a) buy your ticket in advance (online) and b) get there early. The museum opens at 10, and I had planned on getting there at 10, except halfway through the 20 minute walk I realized I forgot my wallet and visa so I had to go walk back to the hotel and then walk back again, basically adding another 30 minutes to my trip. I arrived around 10:30.

I will say, walking up to the Winter Palace (Hermitage) was surreal. It’s HUGE. 

Below is the arch you walk through which reveals the mammoth Palace

I’ve seen Buckingham Palace in London and Versailles in Paris. I will say that they are NOTHING compared to the Hermitage Museum in terms of shear size. It’s kind of crazy that those arches completely conceal the Palace until you start to walk through it. Then you see like...part of the Palace, but it’s not until you walk through the arch that there is this instantaneous reveal. Included in the reveal is the shock of just seeing the Palace in full + the huge size of it spanning your vision across the X-axis + all the blue sky and empty space that just silences you for a moment. 

SIDE NOTE: For whatever stupid, immature reason, every time I think of the “reveal”, I think of that scene from Mario 64 when you’re running towards a photo of the Princess and it turns out to be Bowser. No, I’m not drunk, don’t ask me why I think of these things at the most random times. And yes, I did spend 15 minutes searching for this photo collage. 

Anyway. I am sure the Winter Palace is GORGEOUS during winter. The acoustics of the space when it’s covered in snow must be like...next level. I’m sure St. Petersburg during the winter is amazing. 

If you want a history lesson on the Hermitage, the Hermitage website has a great timeline. Again, as with the other blogs, I’m not going to be going into detail about images of the place or the history of the pieces exhibited. So many other blogs have done it so much better and I’m not going to butcher that. I’ll just mention a few things that stuck out to me, and you can Google around and figure it out.

I will say that if you do visit, I can offer a couple of tips you may want to follow.

1) The map. The map is confusing but not. You’ll just find yourself getting annoyed because, when you know where you are going, the gaggle of tourists and tourist groups will spin you around and suddenly you forget which way is which. Because the museum is HUGE (I saw maybe 1/8th of the museum in 4-5 hours?) you have to prioritize what to see. Keep in mind that, as time elapses, the museum becomes more and more inundated with the dreaded tourist groups, basically making your chances of getting a clear photo of anything nill. 

2) Tourists (a.k.a. the “Boos”). See the map below. The Hermitage has 3 floors. Below is a floor plan of probably the most popular floor, thanks to Mr. da Vinci and many of the decorative palace rooms (amongst other exhibits):

The good thing is that the map kind of pulls out the most famous exhibits and shows you what room they are in. This makes your job of figuring out where you need to go to cross out those items from your bucket list easy. The bad part: The enemy (a.k.a. tourists groups a.k.a. “boos”) also know where these pieces are and are racing as well to find them. The good news: the boos are with tourist groups and have to wait until the tour guide guides them to the room with the exhibit. So, you have time to beat them to it and snag the photo if you are quick. 

Just like in Mario, as time progresses and you aren’t being proactive, more and more of these guys are going to flood the Museum and follow you and clog up the exhibits. So, how do you win? I suggest getting to the museum first thing, then IMMEDIATELY source those famous exhibits, get your photos, then start at the beginning. Most of the tourists are going to be spending a large portion of their time taking photos of the great hall, which leaves you time to sneak past. Case in point:

The line to da Vinci. It was actually way worse a bit earlier when I came around again. I managed to get there early enough and snagged a decent photo:

In general, just like Versailles, the rooms are huge and ornate and absolutely beautiful. I was standing by a window, looking out into the courtyard from what was probably a ballroom in the palace, and thought to myself who else, years ago, was gazing forlornly (or with happiness, or deep in thought) out this same window.

I think that is the most magical part about these palace museums: people LIVED here. People also died here, were executed, fell in love, gave birth, went mad. And when you see relics of those like ridiculous looking Russian uniforms or weird trinkets from decades past, you have to remember that, no, these weren’t fashioned after film props, but film props fashioned after the real living thing. And the real living thing from 100+ years ago is right in front of you. 

It’s pretty spectacular. 

Oh, so this was exciting: The were having a temporary exhibit, and it was REMBRANDT!! Mike! I’m sure you have seen most of these because they sourced the pieces from the Leiden collection...maybe you have seen some of these at the Frick?

Anyway, there was NO PHOTOGRAPHY so I couldn’t really snag photos of pieces specifically. 

I did find myself in a Jean-Baptiste while lost in the French wing:

I didn’t and couldn’t wander the halls for the full 4-5 hours straight. I took a couple of breaks, grabbing a coffee at the cafe for 15 minutes before trying again. I do suggest you break up your visit to the Hermitage into two days; it really is the only way to not feel like your brain is going to explode. 

Afterwards, I took a walk outside by the water behind the Palace. 

Gratuitous selfie. That’ll be two hundred rubles. 

At this point, I had about 2.5 hours to kill before I needed to make my way to the Mariinsky Theater for the performance. So, I did what anyone should do, and that is wander around and picked up a snack to munch on (sorry, no photo of munchies).

There were people painting on the lawn, and I meant to come back and scope out the progress, but became distracted so I didn’t. I did manage to view a live performance (there are performers EVERYWHERE) and I’ll have to post in a separate blog entry because I still can’t figure out how to take the video from my phone and stick it here. 

I stopped at a progressive burger joint (in terms of menu options) for my “snack” (I didn’t eat breakfast despite my large leftovers still sitting in the refrigerator) and ate one of these guys sans burger sauce:

It’s essentially a falafal burger with cucumbers and halved grape tomatoes inside. The bun was my least favorite part (larger in circumference than the patty, which drives me INSANE) so I ditched it angrily. The bun and the burger should be the same size, and the patty should be thicker than each half of the bun. If the top bun is thicker than the patty, the bun is trash. BESIDES THAT ISSUE, the patty was actually really flavorful, and the veggies were (surprise!) slightly pickled. I wasn’t a huge fan of the background of dill I tasted, but that’s fine. The lunch hit the spot and I felt alive again. 

I know, call me a hypocrite for yelling about wasting food and here I am ditching a perfectly good bun. Well, arguably it wasn’t perfectly good, but I did take a bite and decided I much preferred the insides. Whatever. To quote Trump, “Who cares, we won!”

ASHLEY SIDE NOTE: It’s actually been great being overseas, because I have been shielded from all the US politics. However, I did catch a headline today and I mistakenly checked out Trump’s interview and wow...glad I am over here.

Eventually, I made my way to the theater via Uber (there is no Lyft here, and taxis are a little...shady. And slow. And expensive). I will have to comment on Russian driving (or, driving in Russia):

1) It’s nuts. Nuttier than cabbies and NYC driving. Nuttier than driving in France. Probably not nuttier than driving in Vietnam or other places where you are competing with scooters and cars, but it’s still pretty nutty.

2) However, I noticed that they do one thing correctly and without anger that we don’t do in America, and that is merging. In Russia, they utilize the “zipper merge” technique quite patiently and diligently, which, after taking 3 Ubers and cursing under my breath at the “assholes” who merged at the last minute, I realized that this was common and drivers didn’t sweat it. 

“Those apparently rude drivers are putting more of the roadway to use and thus helping speed things along, in much the same way water flows faster through a funnel than through a straw.”

3) There is no bus lane or real lanes in general (I mean, there are lines painted in the road but people disregard them) and cars are just weaving in and out, trying to avoid buses, bikers, etc. And everyone drives stick, so it can get a little rough at times.

Anyway, I manged to get to the theater at the nick of time (traffic is TERRIBLE) and had decent balcony seating:

The Mariiinsky Theater isn’t huge, but the acoustics are really good. The ballet itself was really interesting. Interesting in the sense that this performance, in terms of skill, seemed to be this mix of gracefulness and like...cirque du soleil. I haven’t seen many ballets, but the ones I have seen did not showcase these magnificent bouts of exaggerated athleticism as performed by these dancers (i.e. 360 degree turns ad infinitum, Labron Jamesesque slam dunk vertical leaps, etc). Don’t get me wrong; these dancers are incredible and it was fun to watch them exhibit their unrelenting strength. However, I felt, where the narrative fell short, the shock and awe carried it through.

 I have to be honest and say that I’m not the type to sit through a long, dry opera or ballet, so Le Corsaire broke through any of that fear and was much appreciated. Given we are in the world of #metoo, the plot didn’t really adhere to the moral standard (the narrative is much about the selling of women as slaves, that people of the Middle Eastern ethnicity is less than smart, etc). Yeah, not the best message. However, despite the immature and possibly offensive plot, the artistry was really good...the backgrounds and costumes were beautiful, and the music was moving. I really liked the duo in Act II...I believe it’s the Adagio, but I will have to go back through the soundtrack to figure it out. 

Afterwards, I ate a really light and late dinner and came back to the hotel where I am writing this. It’s past midnight, and I am officially 63 years old!*

Tomorrow, I think i will visit the Faberge museum, then the Anna Akhamatova Museum, then a food market called  the Kuznechny Market where I will try to buy some caviar, THEN bday dinner, then I need to hit the hay because I have a 6AM train out of Russia and into Estonia. I am really feeling sad that my stay in Russia is ending, but excited to see two more countries. 

Until tomorrow!

*I told the waiter today was my birthday, and he said, “Congratulations”. What a curious response. I suppose living is a task, and becoming a year older is like a life promotion.  

[lirlovesfic]

The Choice

A Doctor Who fanfic

Summary: After GitF, the TARDIS brings the Doctor, Rose, and Mickey back to the estate to solve a problem involving the TARDIS herself. But when they see a familiar face, the face of someone who should not exist, they realize the problem is deeper than they thought and could endanger the Doctor’s very existence. Primary characters: Ninth Doctor, Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler, Mickey Smith, Jackie Tyler. Genres: Romance, mystery, adventure, drama, character study, HN AU, fobbed!Nine, sick TARDIS. Pairings: Nine/Rose, Ten/Rose Rating: Adult

Warning: none for this chaper

a/n: I am currently working on editing this chapter-by-chapter, with the hopes of completing a chapter a day until I catch up with myself. As I mentioned in a previous post, I’m doing it to try to get back into the swing of writing and to build some momentum in order to finish this. Also, there have been some tiny things nagging at me for a while (grammar, punctuation, etc.) so I’ll be correcting as many of them as I can find as I go. The story will not change. In fact, most of the changes are going to be so minor that I doubt anyone (besides myself) will notice. But to keep myself on target, I’ll be posting it all here as I go, with links to the other websites it’s on. I hope you enjoy it.

Catch up: on AO3, on TSP, on ffnet

This chapter: on AO3, on TSP, on ffnet

Chapter Twenty-Two—Southampton, 10 April, 1912

As the Doctor stared at him, Mickey stared back. Without the hum of the TARDIS’s engines, without the Doctor’s constant chatter, the silence in the room was overwhelming. The sound of his heart pounding in his chest echoed in his ears while the Doctor’s words echoed in his head.

“You would be painfully ripped apart along with me.”

“And then you would probably wake up in your own bed on the Powell estate with memories of an excruciating death, a death that would haunt your dreams for the rest of your life...”

“That’s the best case scenario.”

Every instinct told him to run, to accept the offer the Doctor had made of one of his other selves returning him home to the Estate, to safety. By staying with the Doctor, he could be killed only to wake up and find that time had been rewritten and he had two sets of memories. Or he could die outright. Or he could be totally wiped from existence. He pushed the thoughts away from him as hard as he could, but he was only partially successful. The fear crept into his mind and his heart, but he refused to allow it to cripple him.

The air fairly crackled between them in the battle of wills. Mickey knew that the Doctor was powerful, probably more powerful than he could even imagine. The alien had saved entire planets—the entire universe if Rose was to be believed. But despite the fact that Mickey had seen him bring down a government with six words and defeat aliens so dangerous they were beyond his comprehension, he was determined not to allow him to win this one. He couldn’t back down. The Doctor might not think less of him, but he’d think less of himself if he didn’t go through with this.

Mickey swallowed hard before speaking.

“You are going to need me,” he said evenly, determined not to allow the fear he felt to creep into his voice. “Don’t bother tryin’ to deny it.”

For the span of a dozen heartbeats, the Doctor continued to stare at him, evaluating him. He forced himself not to react.

Finally the Doctor’s face broke into a wide grin. “Then we’d better get busy!” He rushed back down the ramp, opened a compartment under the floor, and pulled out a battered cardboard shoebox. After searching the box for a moment, he pulled something tiny out.

“Here,” he said, shoving it into Mickey’s hand. It looked like a tiny hearing aid, similar to the ones the Doctor was wearing. “Put this in your ear.” He dropped the box back into the storage compartment and slammed the grating back in place. The sound echoed through the room.

As Mickey put the tiny device in place, the Doctor pulled one of his telepathic dampers out of his own ear and sonicked it before putting it back.

“Now I estimate we’ve got about fifteen, maybe twenty minutes to link the two TARDISes,” he continued as he rushed back up the ramp and out the door. Mickey followed in his wake. “In thirty minutes the Titanic will sail, and if I know myself, which I do intimately, I’ll stay the whole time on the dock, trying to convince people not to board.”

“What do you need me to do?” Mickey asked.

The Doctor pulled the door shut and locked it. “I need you to watch out for me, either me, and let me know if you see either me. Or Charley since she’d recognize the TARDIS as well,” he answered. He turned and strode down the alley. Mickey had to jog to catch up. “While you do that, I’ll be linking the two TARDISes using his console.”

The Doctor led the way in the opposite direction of the harbor, to a narrow street about three blocks away.

“The TARDIS is about a block further down the road,” he said. “I need you to stay here, and if you see either of my previous selves, particularly my last self, tell me.”

“You want me to run to the TARDIS and tell you if I see one of them?” Mickey asked.

“No,” the Doctor replied. “The device in your ear is a two-way radio. I’ve adjusted one of my telepathic dampers to work as one too. There’s a little switch on the one in your ear. Once you flip it, if you say something, I’ll hear you, and if I say anything you’ll hear it.”

Mickey reached up to his ear and toggled the switch. “How’s that?” he asked.

The Doctor cried out and covered his ears. “You must have hit the volume transmission control,” he said through gritted teeth. He thrust out his hand. “Give it to me.”

“Sorry.” Mickey pulled the transmitter out of his ear and handed it to the Doctor, who adjusted it and handed it back. He put it back in his ear. “How do you know he’ll come this way?”

The Doctor gave him a withering look. “He’s me, remember? Besides, this is the most direct route from the dock to his TARDIS. I estimate he’ll be passing by here in approximately twenty-five minutes. In that length of time I need to finish linking the TARDISes and we need to be back in my TARDIS, ready and waiting for him to take off.”

Mickey nodded. As the Doctor ran down the street, he walked over to a lamppost on the corner. With a sigh, he leaned back against it, crossed his arms, and began to watch.

~oOo~

Once back in his younger self’s TARDIS, the Doctor immediately climbed back under the console and began to rewire the controls. Although he’d had to remotely control TARDISes in the past and even tow them on occasion, he’d never tried to do what he was doing now: have his younger self tow an older version of his TARDIS with his own TARDIS, particularly without his younger self knowing he was doing it.

This was incredibly dangerous. The odds of creating a disaster were astronomical, and he didn’t want to even consider what the risk of creating a paradox was. And that was before factoring in the danger of two interconnected versions of the same TARDIS entering the Vortex together.

For a moment he considered giving up, allowing events to take their course even if it meant the end of this timeline, his personal death and with it, the extinction of the Time Lords. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t considered dying before. When he had set off the Moment, when he had ended the Time War at the cost of his planet and his people, he had intended to die with them.

But this wasn’t just about him. Whatever he did or didn’t do affected the TARDIS as well. If he was right about the TARDIS being poisoned, and he was certain he was, she wouldn’t be able to heal herself. He could face his own death, he could face the extinction of the Time Lords, but he couldn’t face the death of the last of the TARDISes. Not if there was something he could do about it.

With the temporal vortex regulator in one hand and his sonic screwdriver in his mouth, he reached above his head and grabbed the vortex manipulator bypass. A bright blue spark lit up the area under the console.

“Ow!” he yelled, letting go of both the bypass and the regulator. As he yelled, the sonic dropped out of his mouth, landed on the floor, and rolled out of reach. He swore and stuck his singed fingers in his mouth.

“I can hear you, you know,” Mickey said in his ear.

The Doctor ignored him. As he reached for his screwdriver, he hit his head hard on the underside of the console. Wincing, he swore again.

“Wow, I didn’t even know you knew those words,” Mickey said.

“I can speak five billion languages, Mickey,” the Doctor snapped as he picked up his screwdriver. “I know more curses in more languages than you can possibly imagine.” He grabbed the bypass again and was shocked again. And again he swore.

“What does that one mean?” Mickey asked.

“You’re too young to know,” the Doctor said irritably. “Now shut up and let me work!”

Mickey fell silent, and he sighed in relief.

Not wanting to be shocked again, this time the Doctor looked up at the bypass before grabbing it... and groaned. Instead of one, there were two pieces of equipment hanging from the hole above his head. When he had thought he was grabbing the bypass, he was actually grabbing the dematerialization condenser. If he wasn’t more careful, he thought, he wouldn’t have to worry about disappearing due to an aborted timeline. He’d shock himself into oblivion first.

Cursing under his breath, he grabbed the actual bypass and began to reroute the power through the manipulator.

Several minutes later he connected the final wire to the regulator. As he began to pull the reduction inducer out of its housing, Mickey hissed in his ear.

“He’s coming!”

“Where is he?”

“He just rounded the corner. He’s about two blocks away.”

The Doctor shoved everything back into the compartment and screwed the panel back in place. Then he jumped out from under the console and rushed around it, programming the controls as he went. “Mickey, go back to our TARDIS as quickly as you can, without drawing attention to yourself,” he ordered. “Make sure he doesn’t spot you. I’ll meet you there.”

He slammed a hand down on a big red button on one of the control panels, grabbed his long brown coat from the strut and ran out of the TARDIS, yanking the door shut behind him. He began to sprint down the street, pulling on his coat as he went. It flapped behind him.

In his rush he hadn’t bothered to lock the door. He just hoped his younger self didn’t notice.

~oOo~

Mickey casually strolled up the street, occasionally glancing behind himself to make sure he hadn’t been spotted by the younger Doctor. Once he turned the corner, however, he ran flat out to the TARDIS.

Rose had told him so much about traveling with the Doctor—about the monsters, about distant planets and spaceships, about meeting famous people from the past—but she had never mentioned just how much running was involved.

Traveling with the Doctor was better than a gym membership.

When he got to the TARDIS, the door already stood open. Panting, he ran in and discovered the Doctor already in the console room, pulling off his coat.

“Close the door! Close the door!” the Doctor ordered as he threw his coat over a nearby strut and removed the telepathic dampers from his ears.

Mickey did as he was told and then pulled the two-way radio out of his ear and flipped it off.

The Doctor darted under the console. Mickey heard the sonic screwdriver begin to whir. Sparks flew out from under the console.

“I wasn’t able to finish making the connections,” the Doctor told him. “So I’ve got to try to finish them on this end. The problem is that not only do I have to duplicate what I did there, but we’ll have to try to enter the Vortex at the same time as he does. And I estimate he’ll be ready to leave in approximately forty-seven seconds.”

“But last time you tried, the TARDIS couldn’t enter the Vortex,” Mickey protested. “The engine wouldn’t even turn over.”

The Doctor ducked his head out from under the console. “Not a bad analogy,” he said, sounding surprised. “You could think of it like we’re using his TARDIS to jumpstart ours.” He returned to sonicking something under the console. “The connections I did finish should allow us to syphon off just enough energy to get the engines started. Even if it doesn’t work we’ve got to try, or none of this is going to be worth anything. As it stands, since I couldn’t finish the connections at his end, his TARDIS won’t be able to tow ours fully into the Time Vortex, leaving us on the border between the Vortex and normal space.”

“And if that happens?” Mickey asked.

“Boom.”

“Oh.”

The Doctor jumped out from under the console and ran to the monitor. “One of the things I was able to do was create a one-way link to monitor his console room.”

“So we can watch him, but he won’t know,” Mickey guessed.

“Yep. And he won’t be able to see us,” the Doctor answered. “Well, he probably won’t. Maybe.” He began twisting a knob next to the monitor, and a picture of the other console room appeared on the display.

The Doctor grinned at Mickey. “So far, so good.” He paused and stared thoughtfully into the monitor. “The trick is going to be to program in his coordinates, copy exactly what he does, in the order he does, and dematerialize when he does. We’ll have less than half a second to duplicate his every movement. If we’re successful, if he notices us at all we should just appear to be an echo located within his own console rather than from outside the TARDIS.”

“How the hell are you going to watch the monitor and program the controls at the same time?” Mickey asked dubiously.

“I’m not,” he replied. “I’m going to watch the monitor and you are going to program the controls.”

“What! I can’t fly the TARDIS!”

“You won’t be. I will be. All you’ll be is my hands. And my feet.” He stared off into space thoughtfully. “And sometimes my nose,” he said. “Anyway… I’ll tell you exactly what to do. All you’ll be doing is following my instructions.”

Mickey shook his head. “I dunno…”

“Mickey Smith, I’ve seen you shoot missiles at Number 10. You can do this.” He glanced back at the display and his eyes widened. He shoved on his glasses and stared at the monitor. “And we need to do it now! Get to the opposite panel and spin the red dial two and a half times clockwise. Then spin the blue dial counterclockwise three times. Then flip the orange switch on and off twice.”

While the Doctor’s fingers flew across the keypads below the monitor, he barked out orders. Mickey instantly obeyed. A high pitched wail emanated from the center of the console, and the grating that formed the floor shook with an earsplitting rattle. The Time Rotor began to glow a sickly yellow-green.

Mickey ran around the console as rapidly as the Doctor usually did. It was exciting, even a little fun, until he couldn’t find one of the controls.

“Mickey, you need to flip the switch now!” the Doctor shouted, trying to be heard over the sounds of the shrieking TARDIS and the rattling floor.

“I can’t find it!” Mickey yelled back.

“It’s right in front of you!”

Mickey stared at the panel again. Tubes, levers, a knob that could pull out, and a series of metal cups that looked like bells, all set in a panel glowing in the same sickly yellow-green as the Time Rotor. “It’s not here!” he insisted.

“It has to be!” The Doctor craned his neck and looked over the monitor at the panel on the opposite side of the console. “I just saw it… in his TARDIS.” The Doctor groaned. “The TARDIS must have moved it to a different location.” He glanced from side to side. “There it is!” He swung his foot up on top of the console and managed to flip the switch with the toe of his trainer before turning back to the monitor.

“All right, Mickey, one last thing! Grab the mallet and hit the bells on the panel as hard as you can. Don’t hold back.”

Mickey grabbed the mallet. “In what order?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just do it!”

As Mickey began to whack the bells built into the control panel, the Doctor grabbed a lever and slowly pulled it down. The Time Rotor began to move, and the sound of the TARDIS dematerializing joined the other noises in the room.

“We did it!” Mickey shouted.

“We haven’t made it into the Time Vortex yet!” the Doctor answered. “Hang on!”

Mickey tightly grabbed a nearby handle set into the controls with both hands while the Doctor did the same on the opposite side of the console. The TARDIS lurched and the sound of dematerialization died off.

The rolling of the floor stopped.

The Time Rotor, now silent and glowing a bright blue-green, moved slowly up and down.

The Doctor grinned at Mickey, his brown eyes sparkling. Mickey grinned back.

“Now we did it,” the Doctor said. His grin widened, showing all his teeth, and he began to laugh. Mickey joined him.

“We did it!” Mickey yelled. He pumped his fist into the air.

“We did it!” the Doctor cried. “Ha!”

[spnreactionblogging]

atomic monsters

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT AND TW FOR DISCUSSION OF CONSENT ISSUES / ASSISTED SUICIDE

so I managed to avoid all social media for the past 24 hours and then my fucking google news feed spoiled me thanks to fucking TV guide which PROUDLY PROCLAIMED "on the return of becky and sam's death!!!!" in its goddamn headline so fuck that, I guess I am going into this knowing the plot sort of, thanks! thanks assholes, thanks so much

also I'm not actually happy to see Becky because the last time we saw her she drugged Sam and tried to rape him so fuck off

oh we're off to a good start with gunfire in the bunker

I did see a clip of Jensen doing the choreography for some of this and it was very impressive, he directed this one, yeah?

dean looks good with the scarf/bandana thing going

benny? :V hi benny

we bring everyone back just to kill them

I'm glad ty olsson got paid. it's good to see his face again even if it's only briefly

he has demon-killing bullets but it's not the colt, maybe I missed something?

oh poor sam :( these nightmares are not fun, please just rest

I'm so here for whatever dark timeline bullshit is happening though lmao even if it's a bit of a gimmick it's intense and I like how Jared does this justice

"after sioux falls" immediately had me like OH NO

seeing sam wake up in a panic has me glad I already had plans to write more sastiel hurt/comfort

prayer circle for sam to be free of nightmares like, once

I feel like if I were Jensen and I were directing this, I would also set up a scene where I got to eat a piece of perfectly crunchy bacon as often as it was required

"the meat man" jesus christ

sarah mclachlan isn't even a vegetarian anymore, dean

I'm 1000000% not cool with dean controlling what sam is or is not allowed to eat or even have in the bunker

sam's barely left his room :(

"look man i get it, with jack, and rowena" don't say cas' fucking name, you're not allowed to have his name in your fucking mouth anymore, dean. actually don't say jack's either, the last time you saw him you wanted to execute him so fuck you.

sam's mug is really cute

the sheriff urged citizens to "travel in packs" so I'm like where are werewolves in this episode

I don't like how he hit him, sam like. flinched.

I had to actually pause the show from sam flinching that hard, and this is not unintentionally like these are extremely talented professional actors, this is deliberate and OOF

"that's real bacon, dean" "you're damn right it is."

oh that's fucking foul. glad I put a warning for consent issues right at the top! what the fuck. what a fucking asshole.

I said to my partner that dean should go to hell and he said "again? he didn't learn enough last time" and I'm like "yeah. he should go back. check back in, I hear they have a lot of vacancies" "they check into hell like it's fucking rehab" except it just makes dean worse but then somehow the show never brings up alistair? I was glad belphegor referenced that at least

I'm glad sam stood up for the deceased

"if he doesn't get in it'll be the end of the world!" "uh no, the END OF THE WORLD is the end of the world" thank you.

oh boy it's becky.

is becky... luring sam winchester to her house???? while her husband is out with the kids?????

oh there's chuck.

hm. feel a bit bad for assuming the worst of becky but given her track history idk

I'm glad vice principal bailey called dean out on the fucking fetish comment

I do like becky here as a creator in her own right. she's made her own world

okay glad too that we acknowledge what she did to sam was fucking hideous beyond words

I am here for them sitting around and doing laundry and talking.

I see a funko pop in the background, incredibly cursed

turning a profit / turning a "prophet" ha ha

chuck's really still going hard on the leviathan plotline lmao

"three AU fic deadlines breathing down my neck" bless

I do love rob benedict "they're just like TEETH FACE!"

"You don't need me. No one does." thanks god, I agree

this does make me want to write

I like that the guy in the mascot fursuit is named Toby and I feel like there's an opportunity for dean to also put on a mascot outfit

"it's like a piece of my heart is gone" is she literally like... using her heart in a spell or something? she keeps saying this line and we thought the other girl was not genuine but maybe she was right, this girl's full of shit and is just saying that

it's been years and i still don't like understand what lacrosse is so I have looked it up at long last and

**The game was said to be played "for the Creator" or was referred to as "The Creator's Game."**

that's especially interesting in a chuck-related context

ghost orchid, very specific

there's also the "holy ghost orchid"?

this is just a little too well scripted

she has braces. hm. saved by orthodontia.

oh this lady's a wine mom, thank god.

WOW THAT IS A LOT OF BLOOD

lmao is this the same garage set they used in the season premiere but with slightly different shelving

I like the handmade crowley and cas here

writing's writing, damn fucking right that fic is writing

god is he using her computer, mannnnn leave her laptop alone

I have this cas plush right me as I'm watching this because i'm sad about him lmao and he's SO CUTE I'm gonna get the sam and dean to go with my cas and crowley

these maquettes are pretty impressive, I like the website they made too

sam and dean showed up in plainclothes/hunter clothes to confront this guy so they know he knows they know

god, thank god for sam trying to actually "save the people" instead of the focus on "hunt the things"

oh i see so becky's feedback leads to chuck deciding to up the ante and kill sam? hm.

chuck tortures his OCs

:( this situation sucks, when they said there was no resistance i was kind of worried about something like this

bury them under the peonies. I think peonies like bone meal/blood meal, don't they

mmmmmmmm asking dean about if he has kids I'm still like do not fucking speak about jack, dean, you don't deserve it, don't even think about him

he sure did reintroduce some classic rock elements, I'm pretty stoked for jensen's album honestly

I'm like... not actually cool with this? I guess if that's really what he wanted then fine I GUESS, I'm not opposed to assisted suicide in theory but especially after seeing Benny earlier in this episode is this really the only way out?

hmmmmmmm. god sure is arrogant.

I'm glad to see emily perkins get like some serious range with the character

I've been pretty bad at predicting this episode lmao I guess davy perez got me

"we would've done the same for jack" says sam "yeah we would" says dean, with absolutely no right to say that

"dean... I still think about jessica, i can't just let that go" god sam sweetheart I'm so fucking sorry

I think becky even noted that chuck "didn't even mention castiel" and indeed

:( sam.

so I guess he didn't die in this one? wtf TV Guide you gave me weird expectations for this episode

chuck sitting surrounded by his own characters' soulless funko bobbleheads sure is thematically heavy

well i guess that's it for this one